#catatonic behaviour

[ethereal-pipe-dream]

hello :)

i am conducting research for one of my classes!! i am trying to get as big of a sample size as possible!!

could i ask that (for the sake of ethical guidelines) you only take this questionnaire if you’re 18+!! if you begin it and decide that you no longer wish to take part that’s perfectly okay!! simply exit the page and none of your responses will be recorded. this research is completely anonymous and the final results will only be shared between myself and my professor!!

please feel free to share this around wherever you deem necessary, i hold this research close to my heart and would love to have a representative sample size for this!!

TW: mental health conditions, specifically schizophrenia.

#liz is rambling again #schizophrenia #actually schizophrenic #mental health #mental health condition #mental illness #antipsychotics #hallucinations #delusions #disordered thinking #alogia #anhedonia #disordered thoughts #catatonic #catatonic behaviour #avolition #flatness of effect #no emotion #questionnaire #psychology #primary data #research #studyblr #study

[caniformis]

-

#today; tripped programming. very bad episode but ended up able to slowly get out of it after 6-8 hours. rather than usual days to. months #disorganised speech from. lockdown and. possessive blurring #main presences rabbit /deerest/ at start. noticing presences of holy beast and mainly coal black prince with fear then fading into fullblown #programmed behaviours. unable to interrupt at all. most likely woods or even trees (likeliest/blurring of the two) influence #most afraid of trees and coal black prince #later fading into partially regained awareness and able to start active grounding. catatonic still until very last parts #initial lesser lockdown started and slowly worsened over time. tipping point should have been last breakdown where we posted on sideblog #involvement of wolf at some point but very faded. mainly wolfs young but already traumatised counterpart/form #-> ruled by holy beast #later wolf (less present than usual) acting as gatekeeper #allowing for slow grounding into anp state and forgetting emotional cores of experience #faded and out of it but present. switching headache. worst of it over and managed to prevent failsafe tripping #howlings

[sadesluvr]

hi! I was wondering if I could request something angst/fluff where the reader defends Mike to his aunt Jane and the custody case worker about how he gives his all to take care of Abby by himself? I wish someone could have advocated for him during the scene where they discuss the case and his aunt talks down on him a lot :’( thanks so much for sharing your writing!

A/N: Hi Anon, thank you for the ask and being patient! My inbox was a little crazy…It wasn’t specified what relationship they have, so it’s neutral, and can be read platonically or romantically. I hope you like it :) 

When Mike had asked you to accompany him to a meeting with Abby’s safeguarding officer and their she-devil of a relative - Aunt Jane - you’d said dropped your things without hesitation. You knew it was going to be rough, as the woman had been on him practically since the day their mother had been buried, but you never expected to be blindsided. Still, from the moment you’d walked into the room and seen the catatonic man with a briefcase clutched to his chest, you knew it wasn’t going to be good.

“Just look at my nephew — It's not even 10:00 and he can barely keep his eyes open!” 

That’s because he can’t sleep properly. He’s literally on prescription pills, but you wouldn’t know that, would you?

“And this degenerate is who they trust with the wellbeing of a mentally ill child?”

Degenerate was such a strong, vile word. You’d visibly flinched at it, both in disgust and agitation. Mike hadn’t seemed to react, but you knew that deep down he was internalising each and every word that was leaving the woman’s mouth. 

Abby is not mentally ill, she’s just introverted. All kids are different. 

“You’re the doctor, and you're making me feel like I'm the crazy one - and after what he did to that poor man…”

Oh, of course it was time to break out the tears. Luckily no one - bar herself - was buying it, instead producing a deep collective sigh shared between yourself, Mike and Valerie. Even though the display was all fabricated, you knew that there was a darker side to her behaviour. She’d probably grown up entitled; being able to cry her way out of things so she could mould her victim and bend those in her path to her will. You were livid, and you were sure Mike was too.

“I have tried to play nice - but I have to think about Abby now…Enough is enough - Doug —” 

The click of the briefcase and a rustling of papers brought the final blow. She wanted custody, and there was a high chance that - should the case go to court - she would get it. From the corner of your eye, you cast a glance over at Mike, watching as he let out a sigh and straightened his back as he came to terms with what was in front of him. His hands trembled slightly, and he bit his lip, mind likely racing to find the appropriate words. With a cocked brow he looked up at you, and you ran your tongue over your lips before pursing them. 

You didn’t want to hold back anymore.

“Pardon my language, but this is bullshit,” you spoke, and Jane seemed amused by your sudden aggression. Valerie looked at you with wide eyes, but subtly nodded her head for you to go on. “Mike is a good carer, and he has been for the past few years,”

“Have you not listened to anything at all?” the blonde woman scoffed. “Abby is sick. She’s not progressing like her peers,”

“Obviously, sickness runs in the family,” you said pointedly. “We’ll all be damned if Abby has a fraction of whatever you’ve got going on up there,”

“Are you implying that I’m some sort of sociopath? It’ll say a lot when a judge grants her to me instead of him,”

“Can you stop using Abby as some kind of bargaining chip?” you said, rolling your eyes. “She’s a human. A growing girl who’s lost her family at such a young age, and Mike is the only real person she has left! Yes, he’s made mistakes, but what parent hasn’t?”

Mike’s heart swelled slightly at the flippant use of such a strong word. He was always the ‘older brother’, forgetting that he was basically two things.

“Mike was barely an adult when your sister died, but he’s done a hell of a job becoming one. He’s never missed a doctor's appointment, spends half of whatever shit salary he earns on keeping clothes on her back, and he’s even sitting here silently, not acting out because Abby means just that much to him– ” you spat, feeling your heart race as it pumped blood furiously around your body. Pausing, you loosened your jaw and dropped your shoulders. Your voice had certainly escalated, and the last thing you needed was to be detained.

Mike’s brown eyes were wide, and there was a small smile that lay hidden under his flushed face. He didn’t need to say anything for you to know that he’d really fucking needed that.

“--- Take it from someone with experience…You don’t separate those two. They’re a package deal.” you said softly, glancing over at him again, reminiscing on the moment you’d met them. Being close to the pair, you’d seen it all; the good, the bad and the frequently ugly, but you’d never once doubted Abby’s love for her brother. It was evident that your speech, in the grand scheme of things, didn’t mean much, but you knew you were going to fight like hell beside Mike to make it a small part of a larger story.

They were going to get their happy ending.

#request fill #florence writes!! #mike schmidt x reader #fnaf x reader #mike and abby schmidt #mike schmidt imagine #mike schmidt fluff #mike schdmit x reader fluff #gn! reader #fnaf x gn! reader #mike schmidt x male reader #fnaf x male reader

[designation-zi]

Murder Drones Timeline of Events

Disclaimer: Most of this is speculation based off of background details and conjecture. Subject to change. If you notice anything I missed feel free to comment and I’ll make adjustments :)

Proceeding Events:

Sometime in the Future, around the 31st Century

- Humanity becomes advanced enough to venture into space and establish colonies and civilizations on exoplanets in other solar systems. Some of these include the “Proxima System”, “Plat-Binary System”, and the “Copper System.”

- JCJenson, an interstellar megacorporation creates a brand of autonomous robots known as “Worker Drones” to serve humanity and mine resources on the exoplanets. One of these planets is Copper-9 from the Copper System.

- Worker Drones are heavily abused and mistreated by humans, often being improperly disposed of and thrown into landfills.

- JCJenson is aware of the fact their drones have a chance of self rebooting if disposed of incorrectly, dubbing these “Zombie Drones.” This can happen if the drone and their core wasn’t properly disconnected and destroyed, or the software cleanup program “wdOS_606” wasn’t installed or was interrupted or rejected (even up to five years later.) The company is also aware that among these instances, there’s also a chance of the drone developing “Hazardous Mutations.”

- Camp 98.7 is established in the year 3002 on Copper-9.

Humanity’s Downfall:

Year still unknown, but still in the 31st Century

-Underneath a landfill of discarded drones on Earth, presumably in Australia, a drone with a P/N starting with “CYN” self reboots. A so called program named the “Absolute Solver” seemingly contacts her through her broken visor and appears to make a deal with her, promising not to “discard her.” This is how the Solver gets its first host. It’s not known if the Solver took complete control there or if Cyn’s possession was a process.

- The landfill is close by to the mansion of a wealthy human family known as the Elliotts. Their daughter “Tessa James Elliott” enjoys retrieving discarded drones from the landfill so she can repair them. These drones become part of the manor’s wait staff, but Tessa treats them like people and as her friends, even giving them wigs so they can have identifying traits — much to the annoyance of her parents.

- Among the drones Tessa has brought home three are known as N, V, and J due to their serial designation numbers visible on their yellow armbands. It can be noted that it seems Tessa scratched out the “Marked For Disassembly” on the bands with sharpie after she repaired them.

- One day Tessa finds Cyn in the dump and brings her home. She introduces her to N, V, and J shortly after.

- N treats Cyn kindly, and she refers to him as her big brother.

- An unknown amount of time passes and eventually Tessa seems to become unnerved around Cyn due to the drone’s odd behaviour and mannerisms. J often locks Cyn in the library basement because of this.

- Many of Tessa’s drones seem to mysteriously contract some sort of error which leaves them in a catatonic state with their visors flashing a large yellow X alongside the words “error 606” (note that 606 matches the software cleanup program’s name of wdOS_606.) Because of this they are placed into the library. One of these drones is V, who N regularly visits so he can try and talk to her and read to her.

- The Elliotts’s decide to throw a gala at their manor alongside another family called the Frumptlebuckets (lol.) An interesting observation is that these wealthy humans (or at least those in the Elliott’s social circle) apparently like to dress up and act similar to those from around the Victorian era.

- Cyn escapes from the basement and convinces N to attend the gala, so they head to the ballroom to ask Tessa. This ends up leading to an altercation with Tessa’s mother Louisa where she orders Tessa to dump Cyn and all of her other “broken” drones in the library back into the landfill.

- Cyn talks back to Louisa, but N takes the fall for her and ends up being chained outside next to a dead drone that had been picked apart by a flock of crows. Meanwhile, Tessa has been chained up in her bedroom alongside J and Cyn as punishment. This, alongside an earlier scene where she seemingly rubs her wrist in pain implies this happens fairly often to her and highlights that her parents are abusive.

- Tessa berates Cyn for N taking the blame for her, angered that N may end up dead. However, Cyn seems indifferent and calmly claims she has “backups” of N.

- Cyn transforms into her horrific eldritch Solver form and claims Tessa won’t have to “discard her pets” and that she won’t discard her either. She leaves out the window after warning Tessa to stay away from the gala due to her seeming squeamish, revealing her intent to massacre the humans.

- Wanting to save everyone from being killed, Tessa gets J to break their chains and the two of them sneak out and arm themselves with a revolver and sword respectively. Despite this, after they arrive everyone is massacred anyways thanks to Cyn/the Solver corrupting the other Worker Drones, including J, who shuts the door so Tessa can’t escape.

- It’s assumed N escapes being killed by the crows and walks in on Cyn slaughtering the humans at the gala due to a brief flashback of him seeing Cyn eating a human hand (when he touches the Zombie Drones VHS tape.)

- Tessa is killed, and in a twisted way of sticking to her word of not discarding her, Cyn skins her corpse to graft it onto her drone body. (Due to an image of humans in hazmat suits finding Tessa surrounded by the remains of the people from the gala, it’s not fully known if Cyn also killed her at the gala and then posed as her, or if she was killed shortly afterwards.)

- Cyn converts the drones from the manor, including N, V, and J into deadly “Disassembly Drones.” They are given a “nerfed” version of the Solver that Cyn has admin access over to better remain control over them. Their memories are erased before setting them loose to slaughter the rest of the humans on Earth. Sometime after, the Solver causes the planet to implode into a black hole.

- The other colonies on the human exoplanets catch wind of what’s happened back on Earth, so JCJenson establishes “Cabin Fever Labs” to research the Solver and how to stop it.

- One of these labs is established on Copper-9 at Camp 98.7 and its surrounding mineshafts (and a cathedral that was there for some reason.) Multiple drones are purposely given the Solver, notably Nori (002) and Yeva (048.)

- The other exoplanets of the Proxima and Plat-Binary systems are corrupted and wiped out due to the Solver spreading and the Disassembly Drones presumably being sicced there.

- Nori ends up becoming possessed by the Solver. Eventually the JCJenson scientists on Copper-9 are able to create a Crucifix USB patch that can get rid of the Solver’s hold on its hosts. This patch is seemingly only successfully used on Yeva. Unfortunately, before it can be used on Nori, the Solver uses her to kill all the scientists except for an intern named Mitchell who had mistakenly put on the wrong uniform of a doctor and had been sent to fetch Yeva.

- Before the Solver can kill Mitchell after he returns, Yeva saves him and throws the USB into Nori’s face which frees her from its control, but also leaves her mind scrambled. However, the Solver is still able to create a small black hole with Nori’s hand that Yeva is forced to cut off. It’s sent falling into a pit to the planet’s core that the Solver had opened up prior.

- Copper-9’s planetary core partly implodes which wipes all organic life off the planet and turns it into a frozen wasteland. (Don’t worry. The dogs had been evacuated beforehand.) It seems a group of humans tried to survive by cryogenically freezing themselves in a bunker called “Outpost 3” in one of Copper-9’s cities. This didn’t work due to the computer having an error. This leaves the Worker Drones to inherit the planet and embrace their freedom.

Aftermath:

Year still unknown

- Nori and Yeva escape Cabin Fever Labs, while other test subjects such as Alice (017) are left behind to try and survive the lab’s Anti Drone sentinels. Nori meets a drone named Khan Doorman and ends up marrying him while Yeva also finds herself a husband.

- Uzi Doorman and Doll are created by their parents uploading parts of their code into Untrained Neural Networks and they both inherit their mothers’ connections to the Solver.

- The Doorman family experiences moments of happy family memories until Nori begins to have “kooky insane” ramblings and visions about the Solver and Disassembly Drones which she refers to as “Sky Demons” as a result of her brain being scrambled from the USB patch.

- Nori tries to warn the other drones and tells Khan to build doors to shelter themselves from the upcoming dangers.

Return of the Solver:

Sometime before the year 3071

- Cyn/The Solver sends squads of Disassembly Drones to Copper-9. Their memories are wiped and they are made to believe they were created and sent by the humans of JCJenson to eliminate the rogue Worker Drone population. Their directive also involves piling their kills into a “Corpse Spire” and locating Cabin Fever Labs. Cyn also wants to kill all other Solver hosts for an unknown reason.

- The squad consisting of N, V, and J lands close to the bunker of Outpost 3 and begin killing any Worker Drones they come across.

- V is seemingly the only Disassembly Drone that has retained some memory of Cyn and the Solver. She keeps this to herself and follows her directive so Cyn will leave her alone. Additionally, she also pretends to forget about N, believing this will protect him.

- A colony of Worker Drones takes shelter in Outpost 3 where Khan starts to build protective doors like his wife had requested. Around this time Nori is stung with a Disassembly Drone’s nanite acid. Khan uses a wrench to put her out of her misery. However, unbeknownst to anyone else, Nori manages to survive in her Solver core/heart form and goes back to Cabin Fever Labs so she can look for the Crucifix USB Patch.

- V kills Doll’s parents. Doll witnesses this while hiding and the trauma seemingly causes her Solver abilities to begin manifesting.

- The “Worker Drone Defence Force” is established in Outpost 3 with Khan as the leader. Unfortunately, they don’t really try to defend anything and just play cards behind the doors.

- The other Disassembly Drone squads that make it to Cabin Fever Labs are killed by either the Sentinels or Alice and (presumably) her son Beau. Alice scavenges parts from Disassembly Drones and Worker Drones to add to herself and Beau since he is stuck in an Untrained Neural Network body. She also learns to put the Solver cores in heat as it “makes them sluggish.”

Year 3071

- The events of episodes 1 - 7 occur

• Recent Revelation: At the end of episode 3 Cyn arrives on Copper-9 impersonating an older Tessa. She is accompanied by a backed up copy of J who was previously killed by Uzi in episode 1. It’s currently unknown if J is aware that Tessa is actually dead.

#murder drones #glitch productions #liam vickers animation #zi rambles #murder drones analysis #murder drones spoilers #murder drones lore #timeline #absolute solver #jcjenson #cabin fever labs #murder drones cyn #tessa james elliott #serial designation n #serial designation v #serial designation j #nori doorman #murder drones yeva #uzi doorman #murder drones doll #worker drones #disassembly drones #zombie drones

[pencilpat]

okay okay! first i wanted to say i love your art! it's so unique and cool!! also super soft when you do moceit and analogical 🥺🩵💛 💜💙 i think those are the characters i find perfect in your style, logan is just 💙✨ (/gen)

so! on the topic of moceit and analogical, maybe some headcanons you have for both pairings? :3 🩵💛 💜💙

Thank you, that's so sweet of you to say! I love every tag you leave on my art, and the whole system is glad you enjoy our work!

Moceit:

Patton has trouble with seeing the other sides as equals, tending to view himself as an authority figure. Not only was Janus the first to challenge this, he was the first to become an equal. Janus challenges a lot of Patton's preconceived ideals and it's good for him - Patton has been living by the morals of a child while also putting himself in a role of power over the others. Janus is needed in order to break apart that dynamic.

Janus and Patton really both love hanging out in the outdoors, and just being around each other and chatting quietly is their favourite way to spend time. Very old married men behaviour.

Janus isn't much of a cuddly person, but Patton very much is. Janus is willing to concede to bedtime cuddles and maybe 5 hugs a day, but no more, no less.

Janus rarely talks about himself and his emotions, he's not fond of the vulnerability that comes with sharing facts about yourself. However, Patton tells Janus everything about himself. To the point that Janus knows about his cold shoulders, even though Patton didn't even know why Janus likes Halloween best.

Patton crochets so many warm clothes for Janus to use during winter to keep him from getting all slow and foggy brained. Janus can become nearly catatonic if he gets extremely cold, and Patton tries to help him stay warm as possible to prevent it.

Analogical:

I LOVE queer romantic analogical!! They care for each other so greatly, even if it couldn't necessarily be defined as a 'relationship', and neither of them want a relationship anyways. (aroace kings)

Logan writes fanfic and Virgil lays against his back on the bed and just hangs out with him. He calls it "nerd stories" but he loves editing for him and proofreading his work (and he loves the opportunity to spend time with Logan and engage his interests and passions in general).

Logan really enjoys letting Virgil show him his music! He enjoys breaking down the beats and melodies logically and the excitement of discovering new things. Logan is an emo and goth music fan by proxy.

Both of them are a bit touch averse and not incredibly physically affectionate, so cuddling or even hugging is rare between them. They much prefer to parallel play beside each other, doing their own thing yet enjoying each other's company.

Virgil truly understands Logan's current struggle, being disregarded and pushed aside, having your opinions discredited and ignored. That's why he never gets mad at Logan for snapping or jumping to conclusions that people hate him. After all, Logan was the one that taught him about cognitive distortions. Virgil is pretty much the only person Logan will accept comfort from at this point.

That's all that is on my mind for now, I love both of these ships so deeply <3

#moceit #analogical #patton sanders #janus sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #sanders sides #qpr analogical #qpp analogical

[raccoontank]

CRESTFALLEN!Lovebug AU

(original au)

Info about the AU below:

This version of Lovebug is caused by rejection, not curing regular Lovebug in time, wrong antidote, etc.

Symptoms include:

• Rapid/Panicked breathing

• Feeling of heartstrings being cut/pulled

• Intense pain in chest

• Constant tears

• Sudden bounds (blue wraps in picture above) that limit movement or imobilize and are unwilling to cut

• Non-verbal

Behaviours vary on person, but a common theme is longing or need of touch/comfort.

If left alone in this state for too long, their color will start to fade/drain. After 30 minutes or more (depending on how much they can endure emotionally) they will be completely faded/drained of color, leaving them in a catatonic state, sentient but unmoving and dazed.

If touched too arduous, they will crack. Severity of the the cracks depend on how hard the touch is.

I haven’t thought of a cure, but this au will be seen much more.

#tsp #the stanley parable #tspud #tsp narrator #stanley parable #art #the stanley parable narrator #tsp fanart #tspud art #tsp stanley #tsp au #tsp art #narrator tsp #tsp fandom #au #original au #crestfallen lovebug #crestfallen lovebug au #lovebug au #tsp lovebug au #lovebug narrator #lovebug au <3 #lovebug #crestfallen narrator #the space narrator 🌌 #space narrator #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #the stanley parable fanart #crestfallen tsp

[leggerefiore]

I am in love with your pokehybrid au's

Not exactly a request (I already sent one about pokehybrids and a s/o who reciprocates their courting methods) but I must know more of your thoughts

What pokemon do you headcanon for each character (for any characters you haven't yet covered or characters where you have more possible pokemon you hc for them)

And what behaviours do you believe they exhibit as part of their pokemon nature?

Archie would be a Sharpedo hybrid, obviously. The most unfortunate and obvious behaviour he has is a strong sense of smell for blood. It can prove itself useful as despite the usual nature of Sharpedos, he doesn't like see people or pokemon injured or not as if his mate has certain anatomy, he will freak out thinking they're injured when it's just their period. He also goes catatonic if you flip him on his back.

Giovanni is a character I'm torn on. For legendary au, he's a possible candidate for Mewtwo, which I guess he reflect by being cruel and powerful. But normally, it's hard to pick between Persian and Nidoking. Assuming Nidoking, he certainly has the temper the poison/ground type has, but keeps it controlled to the best of his ability. He also probably has the funny trait of being calmed by a long-term partner (if he can even manage having one).

Cynthia is a Garchomp hybrid, naturally. She can be a bit wild from it – The urge to savagely hunt down prey does always buzz in the back of her mind but she resists – but mostly remains her usual self. She also sometimes has to fight an urge to burrow which is not fun, especially when she has things she needs to do. At least the digging urge comes in handy for excavating at archaeological sites. She is also has the unfortunate dragon trait of being possessive of her mate, but she is careful to monitor it.

Houndoom Cyrus is endlessly tormented by his pack urges and how he unconsciously gets enough food for him and his partner. He also hates the all consuming urge that he should be resting with them when he wants to work. Poor guy ends up cuddling with his partner most nights and hates it (actually, he loves it. He's just frustrated and feels like he's not in control). Also if he ever wags his tail, he wants to simply be consumed by the void (again).

Pyroar Lysandre is the funniest situation imaginable. He seems more unaffected by whatever instincts it draws out. The idea of living in a "pride" is not something he desires at all, but he does have the protective nature granted by his hybrid genetics. Both his partner and Sycamore can attest to him getting terrifyingly aggressive to protect them. This also feeds into his madness about this world being horrible ugly and unsalvageable.

Metagross Steven is a confusing existence. A massive intelligence does not stop one Steven Stone from wanting his rocks. No, rather, it makes it easier for him to know where even more rocks are. His behaviour is barely noticeable, but he does hates to usual urges to pin down things with his limbs. He almost feels like he's a hybrid with a Galvantula or Ariados when that happens. His torment is unending since that does not really mesh with his general personality.

Camerupt Maxie would unfortunately have a similar disposition to his pokemon counterpart. Granted, he stops himself from spewing lava. He would also prefer to live in volcanic crater, but his human needs unfortunately drag him away from that. At least his base has magma in it to remind him of his preferred home. There also is a sense of desiring a pack within in him, which blends quite well with being in with his team.

Zebstrika Elesa ironically does not have tok mant problems with the herd instinct. She likes being with people! She only hates how nervous she gets after being alone for a while. Though, the downside is her temper is unfortunately afflicted with a Zebstrika temperament. At least it makes paparazzi and creepy fans get scared off. There are upsides and downsides to everything she supposes.

Rika would be a Clodsire hybrid and it really does not affect her too much. But, she maybe seems like she enjoys carrying around Poppy more than usual. Perhaps its the urge to tote around Woopers being fulfiled in a different way. Poppy is happy to get a piggy back ride, at least.

#pokehybrid au #archie.ima #giovanni.ima #steven.ima #maxie.ima #cynthia.ima #elesa.ima #cyrus.ima #lysandre.ima #rika.ima

[fisheito]

sir u can't keep doing this to me. igniting my lobes

i'm always gonna laugh at kuya reverting to silly fox behaviour and it contrasts hilariously with the appearance he wants to give off. that poor mouse is just catatonic after kuya traps him in his pointy damp holding cell (mouth)

rei almost literally swooping in . floordive past kuya to grab the mouse and shove it into his own mouth 😂

blade is always walking into crowded areas with giant tropical bugs on him bc he wants to show everyone his cute friends. my first thought was him walking into the staff room with a massive walking stick across his face and everyone's just o_o you uh, got something on your face. blade: yeah!! she wants to eat lunch with me!!!

#the tags tho #first lord jackass and now king pussy? dante will never get the respect he demands 😄 #i am constantly torn on deciding the animal best associated with each person #i think zero had a poll on this same topic? #i know the devs put edmond as bunny and olivine as cat but i can also see edmond as tsun cat or majestic horse #or olivine as a massive hooved boy or as a bunny too or or orrr #oh NOOO they're MULTIFACETED!!!! (the characters AND the animals) #eiden is left to take care of the tank of clownfish. JUST clownfish. lolollololol #i mean i understand his leopard? yokai association bc eiden IS a bit of a predator. cougar vibes. #but he's also a squirrel. who is secretly clever. and bites. #i will never decide. #thinking of their animal assocations i now need rei to wear a MASSIVE fuzzy coat that hides his shape #then someone pushes the coat up above his waist so u can see rei's ridiculously long (and powerful) legs #be like the owl. possess deceptively long legs. #zookeeper au #rei #olivine #kuya #eiden #blade #yakumo #edmond #quincy #dante

[cult-of-the-eye]

What experience I would give as a statement to Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London? Statement fucking begins...

Summer after GCSEs, whole fam picks up and goes to India for 3 weeks

Listen we are hubristic. We literally go from Britain to Turkey to Delhi airport, to a different airport, to Banaras in a taxi, to Siliguri in a sleeper train, to Kalimpong in a car, back to Siliguri in a van, then to Kolkata in a sleeper bus, to Dhakha, Bangladesh by plane, to my grandparents place in Sylhet by car, then back to Dhakha, then back to Delhi, then back to Turkey and then back to Britain.

Tell me we didn't have at least one entity on our side.

None of us got ill. We had a 6 yr old with us. She didn't complain one bit. I'm 100% sure I blacked out for the majority of it. No other explanation than paranormal.

Those sales assistants in shops have to be fucking avatars of the web or something the way they fucking smile and you until you've blinked and you've bought 3 lehengas and she's like very good ma'am

I met my grandma's sister who looks exactly like my grandma, speaks the exact same way, acts the exact same way. It was so uncanny I could've sworn she just was her. Probably very normal explanation (genetics) but we can never be sure.

I made friends with a hand sized spider in a bathroom by singing "Mr spider, please don't kill me" in the tune of Mr sandman to it every day. It disappeared on the last day. (giving spiral)

I got myself an Indian accent. I am not Indian. (Most of my family is from Bangladesh, I was born there) I am not good at accents. I'm not sure how this transpired (could be some elaborate sociolinguistics explanation but I'm gonna go with paranormal)

We went on a massive family day out with cousins to a river near the mountains and we all had a great time until this little menace of a cousin literally got carried away by a current and we were terrified until one of my uncles literally grabbed him by the leg and yanked him out right before he would've gotten completely carried away. I don't think that's pure luck, personally.

My aunts staged an intervention for me about my posture (Not supernatural, Im just salty)

My dad successfully convinced some strangers who sat next to him on the plane that the reason me and my siblings spoke such good English was that we went to an English medium school. When pressed, he came up with the most elaborate story ever. He gave them a random school we went to, told them we were his boss' kids and he was taking us home, bullshitted a company and then when one of them went oh my dad is a higher up in that company, he says oh didn't he retire recently and the guy goes yeah he did! We are completely oblivious of this story, until he leans over and tells us not to call him dad for the rest of the plane journey. If that's not fucking Stranger behaviour then what is.

We get home, exhausted out of our minds and we realise we can't find our fucking front door key. We pile into the back garden and proceed to search through the entirety of our bags, trouser pockets, pockets within bags, we're all on the verge of tears, I'm catatonic, my little sister has picked up a stick and is slowly peeling it, my other sister is the only one actually looking and my dad is staring at the luggage, as if it had grown legs and was doing a little dance right before his eyes. We do find the keys after 20 minutes. We never mention this again. That's fucking paranormal shit right there don't even try to convince me otherwise. Michael the distortion was fucking with us.

Statement ends... (Although that's definitely not even half the shit that happened)

Watch Jonathan "Jarchivist" Sims crumble beneath my experiences. Hes so bamboozled that he forgets to try and discredit me. I bring him a packet of laddoos and some aachar.

#tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #jarchivist #rambles #statement begins #statement ends #indian jonathan sims #it wasnt scary per se #but it would be one of those statements you come out of afterwards like what the fuck #what the fuck just happened

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Re. Autism meltdown

I wasn’t diagnosed until my late 30s. Meltdowns were always perceived as negative or indulgent behaviour, and therefore punishable. Had no choice but to train myself not to demonstrate them in an outward fashion, if that makes sense. What I do however, when I’m feeling utterly overwhelmed, is more like a complete shut down. I’ll just become catatonic for hours… locked away somewhere deep inside my subconscious. Somebody knock the lights off and dump a weighted blanket on me for the love of Christ! Entirely non verbal, typically I’ll sit on my hands to prevent stimming. Feels like I’m imploding in excruciating slow motion - rage in part, but mostly shame - unfortunately I cannot project the feeling outside of myself. Even though I am not actively doing anything, I emerge from these “shut downs” exhausted and tearful… often desperate to go pee, as I’ve held it for hours. I am not reprimanded for these episodes, but neither am I commended for sparing people the “observer discomfort” that an outward meltdown would. Honestly, I feel as though I might enjoy a good scream and maybe launching a stuffed toy across the room… I just have no idea how to go about it.

Hi there,

I’ll do my best to help. I found an article going over shutdowns. It gives some tips that might help:

Sleep, sleep, sleep. A long rest is preferred but any bit of sleep helps.

As you’re coming out of the shutdown, you might experience an “emotional hangover.” In this case go easy on yourself and do recharging things like watching a movie or playing your favorite game.

Lean into the shutdown, it won’t last forever and you’ll feel better once it’s done

Watch out for what Samantha Craft, an Autistic blogger, refers to as “Implosive Thoughts” before and after the shutdown. It is similar to the shame spiral described in our Meltdown article.

Get to a safe space where you can lay down, preferably a sensory friendly place where you can be alone or with a person you trust.

Take the time you need before re-engaging. Practice some Neurodivergent affirming self care.

For Partners, Friends, Family, Bosses, Teachers, etc.

Leave the Autistic person alone. If you’re worried about them, check in gently every once in a while. Bring them food and water.

Give them time. After a shutdown, Autistics will probably need a lot of time and space to recover. It can take up to a few days. It’s nothing personal.

Understand why the shutdown happened and try to reduce any triggers you may be responsible for.

Do not push them to “snap out of it.” Doing so may harm them.

Don’t touch the person unless they give their express permission. Ask before touching.

Educate yourself on Autistic processes and traits. Understand the signs of Autistic shutdowns and meltdowns.

I’ll leave the article below in case you’d like to read through it.

I also found an personal article a person wrote about their own experience:

“We don’t talk about shutdowns as often, I think, because they are often a bit more invisible than a meltdown would be, because it’s not so much of an inconvenience on other people.

I am sitting very, still sitting, very quiet, not speaking, probably staring at the floor, at something, or out a window, and I’m just going to freeze up for a while, and I won’t be bothering anybody. Depending on the situation, or the circumstance, an Autistic shutdown could potentially go completely unnoticed.

The other thing about shutdowns is, because they often, for me, will happen when I am in very intense, emotional situations, me just shutting down and going blank all of a sudden… something I have very little control over, is sometimes taken as intentionally “shutting down a conversation” or “stonewalling” or “refusing to engage”.

“That’s because people who don’t shut down don’t understand what it’s like to suddenly become locked in on yourself like that.”

This will also be below if you want to read more:

I hope these sources can help. I’ll also tag @autistic-af and @krisrisk to see if they can provide more information/advice.

Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ❤️

#inbox #inbox reply #inbox is open

[gatheredfates]

what is the river? to carve the land or drown in? | azuma yumishi

Do you want to read all of my FFXIVWrite prompts? You can do that here!

FISH OUT OF WATER a person who feels awkward or unhappy because they are in a situation that is not familiar or because they are different from the people around them. Mentions of behaviour directly related to PTSD. The drabble doesn’t reference it as such, but you can get the implication. Also mentions of racism/terrorism/war crimes/etc. as it pertains to the Garlean empire and their treatment of their occupants.

A sense of helplessness was what possessed Azuma to wonder if the accident had affected her brain as well as her legs. She had always thought herself relatively adaptable; she was able to live a blended life as a second-generation Doman — one foot on land, the other deep in Sui-no-Sato — and when the Garlean’s invaded she was able to pantomime their desires enough they believed she might have the chance of assimilation. Her entire life had been a series of adaptations; the loss of her mother, her homeland, her father —

Then, just as suddenly as her adaptability started, it stopped. 

She could barely think about the death of her father. It was as if a serpent had woven its way around her heart, its body constricting the muscle until she couldn’t breathe, and she swore she was dying anew. The first time it happened the chirurgeon thought it a product of her injury, and she dared not choke out the panic of seeing spots of black as they whisked her back to bed.

She did not think about what might have become of her best friend. The thought that Siyoh could be dead, or worse — worse, more than anything, knowing the Garlean empire — had her lying in bed for days, panicked and catatonic in one. What if she was conscripted to some far-off land or forced to warm their bed? What if she was alone? What if she was afraid?

Then there was the torment of trying to adapt to Eorzea. It was the angst of knowing she should be grateful for everything they offered her, knowing she could give them naught, and she did her best to convey it whilst also feeling so alien she felt as though she were merely the audience to her own story. 

She listened to strangers converse in a language she could barely understand, so used to Siyoh’s patience as she tried to translate, and her concentration so often ebbed before her body did.

The bed she laid in was not her own. Only in the deepest of sleep did she feel like she was home, until open eyes to an elevated perch made her feel as though she were falling. Some of her countrymen had come to bed on the floor, but it wasn’t like she could get there now, could she?

A few of the able bodied had come to making their own food, but the ingredients were different and lacked many of the usual spices. It wasn’t bad, she had to remind herself of that, but it wasn’t the same.

Everything was different, different, different. She wanted to scream — why couldn’t she manage with one thing? Why did it feel like that one thing was the tipping point that threatened to sent her over the edge?

Her father had always commending her on weaving like the river, able to carve the land to suit her. Now, Azuma felt as if she were drowning in it.

#the burnout is so real dudes this was a slog #but i did it #so i am still proud of myself #｡･ﾟﾟ･ — 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 : azuma #ffxivwrite2023 #my writing

[mustangs-flames]

how does M.A.D. work in htb? what are some lasting symptoms? is there something specific that defines the 3% who survive, or are they just lucky? what are some things that survivors may have to deal with after? (ofc only if these questions dont spoil things teehee)

M.A.D. only really gets explored as a background thing in htb au - like it's 100% there and present through certain characters (like Mark), but it's shown rather than told directly if that makes sense? The only time it's actually brought up in the au is in INWCT when the EMTs bring it up as something they 'suspect' Cesar has due to his lack of response to basic stimuli tests (little do they know, huh, lol). But because it's only a suspected case, it was flagged on Cesar's medical records for him to be assessed at a later date for a more formal diagnosis - Mark fully intended on making sure Cesar went to that medical exam but everything in INWCT happened over 3 days so they didn't really have the chance between the police investigation and the deer alternate.

So, M.A.D. works like other mental health issues like depression and anxiety, only it's exacerbated to the point that people subjected to it try and take what they perceive as being "the only way out". Very much like it is in tmc canon, people with underlying or ongoing mental illness are more likely to develop M.A.D. - not everyone who encounters an alternate develops it. Sure, they might get freaked out, but, say, if a person saw the deer alternate at a glance in the forest, they would do the very human thing of repressing it and writing it off as some sort of trick of the light, etc.

In htb, Mark has M.A.D. and has had it since he was 9 (though some signs of strange behaviour began at age 4). He went to therapy and takes his prescription to manage his symptoms - which are a type of antidepressant medication. He's never heard the name of the meds and research brings up nothing, but he's been told that they're still in the testing phase which he qualified for and who's he to question what his doctor told him?

M.A.D. symptoms can vary wildly - some people may become incredibly despondent, others catatonic, some become reckless, and others even become hypermanic. Using Mark as an example, without his medication, he becomes incredibly depressed and even more anxious, to the point he cannot really perform any basic daily task or even think straight. His nervous tics (the biting and chewing) become severe to the point he really risks hurting himself and those that are managed by the prescription resurface - he paces a lot and yet sometimes physically cannot move at all out of irrational bouts of terror, he finds himself becoming fixated on phrases and thoughts to the point he scribbles them down frantically and repeatedly, and he becomes quick to anger, absurdly quick to anger and it's volatile, he doesn't know what will set him off until he's already angry at it. That symptom frightens him the most because he can see and hear himself being like his father but is unable to stop himself from acting like that.

Other overall symptoms of M.A.D. that seemed to be shared amongst that 3% who survive it long enough for it to be considered a 'long term condition' are:

- Heightened sense of being watched (and can accurately tell that they are even if they can't see the person watching them).

- A high tendency to develop co-dependent relationships or friendships in which they are dependent on another person, regardless of whether that's reciprocated or not.

- Insomnia/poor sleep schedule and poor sleep quality.

- A very low tendency to dream when asleep.

- A lack of regard for their own life or well-being, placing everyone else above them in terms of importance. They have little to no self-worth or self-love.

M.A.D. symptoms can be managed with:

- Therapy

- Prescription medications

- Surrounding yourself with people who love and care about you

That's the gist of it! There will be quite a few characters who display a lot of the different affects of M.A.D. throughout the au (you may have even noticed some characters who fall into certain symptoms already!).

#hail true body au #mustang answers! #htb m.a.d

[anxietytwist]

𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐦 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐮́𝐝𝐞𝐳

“𝐂𝐚𝐥”

[ xx | 𝟻'𝟷𝟷" | Agender | PanDemi | 𝐇𝐚𝐲𝐝𝐞𝐧❤𝐍𝐢𝐱 ]

⟨Personality⟩

•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•

⟨Style⟩

ꜱᴄʜᴏᴏʟ

“...”

ᴄᴀꜱᴜᴀʟ

“...”

ʜᴀɪʀ

“𝘓𝘰𝘯𝘨, 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬, & 𝘸𝘢𝘷𝘺.” (kept up during training/ combat/formal events/etc...)

•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•

⟨Creatures⟩

“𝐁𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐬”

♂️ (Golden Tabby Tiger)

•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•

⟨Notes⟩

ᴘʀᴏɴᴏᴜɴꜱ➙ They/Them ʙᴜɪʟᴅ➙ 𝘈𝘵𝘩𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘤

ꜰᴀᴋᴇ-ᴅᴀᴛᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ➙ 𝐇𝐚𝐲𝐝𝐞𝐧 ʜᴏᴜꜱᴇ ꜱʏᴍʙᴏʟ➙ ❄️

ʀᴜɴᴇꜱ➙ ...

𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐦 prefers their friends to call them by their nickname: “𝐂𝐚𝐥”

They're touch-averse (but are comfortable PERSONALLY making contact with a select few people ... & even enjoying it if it's 𝐇𝐚𝐲𝐝𝐞𝐧), the only loving touch they experienced growing up was from their mother; after her death they began to find incoming physical contact revolting 😖

Even though their fathers DESPISE each other, 𝐂𝐚𝐥 & 𝐇𝐚𝐲𝐝𝐞𝐧 get along surprisingly well (agreeing to be fake-date partners has the added bonus of annoying their fathers >:] + they've been mutually crushing on one another since that time at the fountain, if they're honest with themselves)

They don't enjoy killing or looking at dead bodies, but their upbringing & unfortunate personal experiences, has left them desensitized to a degree (they sadly still have nightmares about everything though) 💀😮‍💨

𝐂𝐚𝐥 is extroverted, yet shy (mostly due to how others tend to view/treat them), they enjoy going to parties but prefer to “soak in” the atmosphere instead of “actively” taking part in whatever the partygoers are doing

While they've been able to keep their face scar-free, even after all the intensive training they've had, the same cannot be said about the rest of their body (the most noticeable of their scars are the claw marks on their shoulder/neck from the bear attack) 🩹

𝐂𝐚𝐥 struggles when dealing with people who genuinely care about their well-being (as most are either afraid of them or want something from them), they're left feeling unsure if they really even deserve it

Most people (i.e. those that don't know them personally) assume their “flat” expressions are due to them being cold & unfriendly; instead they're simply nervous about being around strangers that most likely already have negative preconceived notions about them (😐 <-screaming internally)

𝐂𝐚𝐥 always tries to be as formal/polite as possible with anyone they're unfamiliar with, but when around those they consider friends, their behaviour & speech becomes much more casual/sarcastic

They did their best to avoid completing the 𝑏𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 (the very thought of killing another HUMAN made them feel sick, even hunting animals was hard for them), but watching their mother being beheaded broke something inside them ... ending in a room full of frozen corpses with only their mother's body left unscathed 🥶

In the aftermath of their icy explosion, 𝐂𝐚𝐥 spent their days in a semi-catatonic daze (they finally came back to themselves the day their father returned home; sobbing into his chest as he held them which was sadly the only time he's ever done so)

Everytime 𝐇𝐚𝐲𝐝𝐞𝐧 calls them “𝐻𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑦” they melt inside (despite knowing he's just teasing them & that his choice of words don't mean anything in the end ... not that they'd want them to 😳!!! )

Despite their father's teachings, 𝐂𝐚𝐥 prefers to approach life/others with an empathetic attitude (but will NOT hesitate to “dispose of” anything that threatens them or those they care about)

...

𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐦 means “𝘥𝘰𝘷𝘦” (Latin-> Scottish) 🕊️

•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•

𝐼𝐹: @bloodlegacies

•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•

[Approximate Heights]

Picrew used:

𝐁𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐬 is a BIG boy 🐅

#Blood Legacies #Blood Legacies IF #Blood Legacies-if #if: Blood Legacies #Blood Legacies COG #CYOA #choice game #IF #interactive fiction game #interactive fiction #Blood Legacies MC #Blood Legacies OC #Blood Legacies PC #BloodLegacies #BloodLegacies IF #BloodLegacies-if #if: BloodLegacies #Blood Legacies: Book 1 #BloodLegacies: Book 1 #IF OCs #character profile #[will update as demo progresses] #𝐇𝐚𝐲𝐝𝐞𝐧 & 𝐂𝐚𝐥 look like ''😏''/''😒'' to outsiders whenever they interact

[familyabolisher]

hi id be really interested on hearing more of your thoughts about dros because i cannot fully wrap my head around what he signifies. hes so much. sorry this is a bit vague you just sound like you get him

idk if i could say much that @txttletale didn’t already say very coherently here; would recommend giving her post a read because she explains him far more clearly than i can. i should also say that i've only played disco elysium all the way through once so i'm just going off of memory and the wiki page lol.

i guess my most significant thought on dros is that he and harry act as foils of a sort. when we meet harry at the start of the game, the immediate invisible force behind the spiral of self-destructive behaviour that led to him losing his memory is, of course, his being unable to get over dora; however, his transmuting of dora into a figure equivalent to dolores dei + the dialogue we get from the limbic system at the very beginning suggests that we should understand this spiral and effective ‘death’ as one driven by a failure to survive under capitalism.

YOU: Tell me, what's waiting for me?

LIMBIC SYSTEM: There is a giant ball there. And evil apes. And the evil apes are dukin' it out on the ball. You're one of them. It's basically all just evil apes dukin' it out on a giant ball.

YOU: How big is the ball?

LIMBIC SYSTEM: You can't even make out that it's a ball, when you're dukin' it out. It's that large.

YOU: How small are the apes?

LIMBIC SYSTEM: Infinitesimally small.

YOU: And what is this "dukin' it out" I keep hearing about?

LIMBIC SYSTEM: Vying for resources? It's just a stupid expression you picked up somewhere. The part of the presentation you want to take home is this: you have to beat the other evil apes in the face or you lose.

YOU: That's sad.

LIMBIC SYSTEM: Yes it is. And you drowned in that sadness a long time ago.

YOU: What do mean, "drowned"?

LIMBIC SYSTEM: You lost.

what harry’s limbic system describes there is a cynical perspective on participation in a capitalist society that rests on the myth of meritocracy; that humans have to be ‘vying for resources,’ that we have to enact violence against one another for the sake of our own survival. ‘lost’ here has a double meaning—harry ‘lost’ in that he failed to successfully participate in the myth of capitalist meritocracy, and he ‘lost’ dora, and the double meaning is intended to frame these two ‘losses’ as one and the same. from the snatches we get of his and dora’s history, it seems that the class gulf between them and the poverty that they lived in while together contributed in part to her leaving him; focusing on this (rather than on the fact that harry’s joining the RCM affected his behaviour such that he got, euphemistically, ‘sad,’ and violent) allows harry to both absolve himself of personal blame for the failure of their relationship (at least in a capacity that goes beyond self-flagellation) and to interpolate dora into dolores dei, ‘mother of humanity’ and synecdoche of moralism (and imperialist war criminal). 

referring back to the linked post which explains dros as embodying a spirit of regressive communism unable to adapt to the demands of the post-commune world (in effect, the post-soviet world), we might consider harry’s relationship to capitalism/moralism prior to the start of the game as running parallel to dros’ relationship to communism, in that both are trapped by the ideological tetherings of the past and unable to imagine a new future. (this is tangential, but disco elysium is very fixated on asking harry and the player both to imagine new, seemingly impossible futures outside of what seem to be fixed continuums, especially if you play as a communist, and the distinction between harry and dros is integral to that discursive move.) both are affected by the insulindian phasmid, though in divergent ways—for dros, the phasmid’s pheromones help to keep him trapped in the past and eventually send him into a catatonic state, whereas for harry, the phasmid is a ‘miracle from the west’—the interruptor of apparent inevitability and the narrative’s insistence that miracles are possible. both have ‘love’ embedded into their characters and intertwined with their political fixations—for harry, of course, his love for dora maps itself onto dolores dei and his having ‘lost’ her becomes interchangeable with his having ‘lost’ at capitalism itself, and for dros, isolated from the mainland and devoid of any real currency within the present political climate of martinaise, ‘love’ becomes the means by which he feels himself able to participate in the world again, leading to him spying on klaasje and killing lely (a fascist). 

dros & harry are similar characters that ought to have been on similar trajectories, were it not for the fact that harry’s memory loss gave him a chance to briefly shed the past (though ofc, echoes of dora remain throughout the narrative and we know by the end that he cannot wholly escape her) and build a new sense of himself, including a new ideological sense. where fascist/‘traditionalist’ harry becomes fixated on the past, communist harry looks towards the future, and confronts the tension between the seeming inevitability of communism’s failure versus the possibility of success. 

& the end of disco elysium is bittersweet—dros, last notable remnant of the antecentennial revolution, is ‘defeated’ in a sense by moralintern forces, much the same as the revolution itself. harry, played as a communist, returns to the RCM, much like how the insurgency in revachol was absorbed into the RCM and thus became an extension of coalition authority. time in a sense resets itself—but if dros espouses absolute failure and the ending seems to regurgitate the trajectory of history that we’ve seen before, disco elysium’s broader discursive fabric all but begs you as the player to believe that something else is possible. i’ve talked about this a bunch of times before, but it really does boil down to moments like the inframaterialist tower being able to stand on its own, ‘something beautiful is going to happen,’ ‘be vigilant, i love you,’ ‘we refuse to accept that the world has to remain like this,’ etc., pitting the inevitability of communist failure against the necessity of revolutionary optimism. (i’m working on an essay rn on disco elysium and walter benjamin + historical materialism which should clarify this argument a little more??)

i don’t know if i’ve explained this as well as i’d like but i’ve had this ask sat in my inbox for like a week now fhskjnfn. anyway: dros as both foil to and mirror for harry, as representing the stagnation of a revolutionary ideology that fails to adapt to new conditions and recognise the new possibilities present even in the face of defeat, as key to establishing the tension between defeatism and optimism by which the game comes to insist on the necessity of the latter. 

#ask #disco elysium

[undercover-author]

Tfw you realize Jonathan Sims from The Magnus Archives fits the diagnostic criteria for Schizoaffective Bipolar....... Bro is just like me fr.....

The criteria if you wanna know:

(Got this from Google so take it with a grain of salt)

To be diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder, Bipolar Type, a person must have a combination of both Schizoaffective Symptoms and Depressive and/or Manic Symptoms:

1. Symptoms of Schizoaffective Symptoms include at least 2 of the following: a) delusions, b) hallucinations, c) disorganized speech, d) disorganized or catatonic behaviour.

2. Symptoms of Depressive and/or Manic Symptoms include 3 of the following: a) depressed mood, b) increased/decreased energy or change in sleep, c) decreased interest or pleasure in activities, d) low self-esteem

1. Other symptoms like irritability, restlessness, anxiety, guilt, or psychic anxiety.

2. Depressive or Manic Episode symptoms must be present for a majority of time in the past two weeks, with some symptoms present for at least 2 weeks, but these symptoms must not meet the requirements of a major depressive episode or manic episode.

3. The individual does not meet the criteria for any other mental health disorder or medical condition that better describes their symptoms and experience.

He fits 11 of the symptoms, give or take and where I am in s2, he said he'd been back at his job for 2 weeks. So if you'll excuse me, I will now be headcannoning Jonathan Sims as Bipolar Schizoaffective <3

#jonathan sims #the magnus archives #just like me fr #he is my son #and i love him #but jesus fucking christ #he needs therapy

[banschivs]

⧖.* '𝙻𝚄𝙲𝙸𝙳 𝙱𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙺𝚂' - 𝙽𝙸𝚇'𝚂 𝙲𝙰𝚃𝙰𝚃𝙾𝙽𝙸𝙰 .

During Nix’s longest catatonic episode in the wake of the car bomb, she would have what were coined at the time as ‘lucid breaks’. These breaks occurred seemingly at random intervals and consisted of the apparent return of Nix’s motor functions and mental clarity. They were largely impulse-driven and very difficult to predict.

During these, Nix would mostly have delayed reactions to her trauma (memories shooting forward, phantom pain from her injuries, delayed panic etc), or suffer violent outbursts both against herself and those close to her. It was during one of these lucid breaks that she attacked her father, or would attempt to harm herself through panic— though occasionally she could be seen to have ‘recovered’ from her catatonia, in the sense that she’d almost appear ‘normal’ and ‘predictable’. Grant would find her seemingly watching an old cartoon she used to like, or with a book she’d once read in her lap, despite not actually reading it. There is nothing typical about these breaks, though, as the unfortunate double murder she was committed for at thirteen was, in-part, due to one. That paired with her fight or flight kicking in, and a colossal mishandling of the situation by her carers. No one truly knows what happened, and Nix never told.

During her adolescent years in incarceration and under constant scrutiny by those abusing their duty of care, these lapses where often used as a means to ‘prove’ how she was faking her psychomotor syndrome as a means to manipulate the doctors and psychiatrists working with her, though the theory was never proven.

The most recent example of one of these breaks was in the wake of Riddler blowing her home up, with her inside. Nix, retraumatised, slipped back into a full catatonic episode for the first time in years. The trigger, of course, being the parcel bomb that exploded in her home while she was right across the room. She shut down for days, weeks even, and through her one lucid break before coming back around, she experienced a burst of energy and a sudden determination for change. She cut and re-dyed her hair. Arthur found her in the bathroom, and thankfully tidied her styling up for her. While this was no doubt a peculiar occurrence for him, it was in fact the first glimpse of his wife gradually coming back around after her re-traumatisation, and was in fact one of the safest things she could have done in her state.

She’s no longer a child. Nix’s urges are for her to return to her cocaine addiction, or violence... she instead kited herself toward a more subtle form of evolution, and effectively attempted to ‘kill’ what she could of her re-traumatisation.

Her condition is one of permeance. She will likely suffer triggers that cause further episodes of catatonia in the future. Reading her behaviour during these episodes is very difficult, and her condition is never the same as the last time she suffered, but these breaks provide some clarity for not only Nix alone, but her family around her too.

#☠ abt. ⋙ 𝙭𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙚 𝙠𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠. #another re-write with some further context