#cannot go back no matter how much we want to. but life isnt going to end over that. we gotta keep going too; and perhaps that change will

[kakapim]

Shinichi angst is so damn good. He's in his own body but it doesn't feel like himself. His life is "dead" even though he's alive. When he comes back he will never go back to his old self. He can go back to his body but his life will never be quite the same (for better or worse)

He was just a 17 kid who had dreams ambitions friends he had to "abandon". Imagine putting up an act 24/7 and not being truly able to say the things you actually want to. And yet- this false identity of his started to blend in with his "authentic" self.

He will have to "kill" Conan like he did with himself eventually. Like I know this this is the whole point of his character but I feel like it's easy to forget due to everything going on, and every so often I'm reminded of this and go bonkers over it. Does anyone get me 😭

#detective conan #something something about how awful it is that the bad things of life change us fundamentally. ever and always. time is always foward and we #cannot go back no matter how much we want to. but life isnt going to end over that. we gotta keep going too; and perhaps that change will #lead us to good things #man i should sleep already. it is 5 am rn lol #i expect to wake up from this philosophy induced post and cringe at it later lmao #shinichi kudo #my posts #detco #also yes shinichi trans allegory slay

[livsmessydoodles]

thinking about this scene today

this scene alone convinces me that byler is endgame bc you cannot make will actively say that hes not gonna fall in love and then write a whole plotline abt him being in love with mike.... just for it to not be reciprocated???

will is the only party member who's completely unexperienced with romantic relationships, which of course has to do with the fact that he's gay in the 80's, but this is a TV show. all of this is fictional so they can take whatever route they want with these characters, and making will continue to stay alone and suffer through unrequited love would be awful storytelling, especially when people claim that will moving on from his feelings would bring character development and growth.

wills feelings for mike arent there just to "show his growth". weve seen this kid go through hell and back yet even with everything kicking him down he stays strong and kind. hes the most selfless character in the show and always puts others needs before his own. in s4, they put a lot of emphasis in these character traits of his, and they're always picturing his love for mike as something selfless and pure.

now if his feelings are not reciprocated, how does this teach will a lesson that leads to character growth?? he already doesn't expect anything. life has shown him time and time again that he always gets the short end of the stick, why would he think this is any different?? making him have feelings for his best friend just to get rejected would just be a nail in the coffin, reaffirming to him that no matter what hes not worthy of ever getting what he wishes. this isnt character growth at all.

but if his feelings ARE requited, that gives us a twist to the story we havent seen. we would get to see actual growth for will, him learning to give himself value and realize that he DOES deserve happiness!! instead of leading into the expected spiral of bad things keeping up the consistency with everything else that has happened to will so far, finally giving him one good thing leads to us seeing a shift in his whole nature, and wed see him dealing with things he hasnt dealt with before!!! GROWTH!!!

besides why would they make such an intricate complicated storyline.... just to lead to a rejection we all saw coming? the GA expects him to get rejected. his feelings not being reciprocated would not be any surprise. but twisting those expectations in a way to shock the GA AND give wills character the happiness he so deserves after being through so much..... now THAT would be world shattering and a satisfying ending to both the viewers and will himself!!

this scene establishes a clear subversion trope, making us aware of how will believes he's never finding love, just for the show to later on subvert expectations and reward will with the love he deserves and never thought hed get🫶

#long post wow sorry #i was just thinking about this scene and then remembered a thread id made on twt a couple months ago and. basically redacted it #i just think this is so important and its solid evidence that we often look past #the duffers have been setting this storyline for a while. the buildup is all there #i doubt theyd just push all of that aside to stay with the same ol boring het couple who honestly even the GA is tired kf #😭😭😭😭 #ANYWAY #i like doing think pieces i might do more eventually #byler #stranger things #will byers #mike wheeler #byler analysis #st4 #stranger things 5 #mike wheeler x will byers #will byers x mike wheeler #will and mike get on the petri dish #liv rambles

[scarletspider-lily]

this bullshit discourse around cishet aromantic men is driving me insane and im not aromantic or aspect in the slightest but i gotta rant. because it's just getting very ridiculous at this point, because people make assumptions about everyone and also want to twist the definition of being queer- for some reason?? 1) "well- well they dont get oppressed!! >:(" sorry, pause, why the FUCK are we making "oppression" a part being lgbtq+ ? is this some new fucking requirement?? are you people okay?? i dont give a fuck if some queer child has had the best life ever in a super inclusive area from the second they were born, i would be happy for them?? maybe you should too? listen, ive faced oppression for being bisexual, and have felt envious of those with accepting family and whatnot, but what im not going to do is discredit my fellow queer person for facing "less" or no oppression at all for their identity. crazy take, but i think the goal should be to reduce queer oppression...

and oppression is not... some fixed scale type of thing, someone was trying to say that being asked "when will you get married?" to aro people wasn't oppression. as if that is not the only thing aro people face, as if instituitions like marriage dont exist, with certain economic benefits aro people can't partake in, and social constructs making certain people seem "weird" and straight up ostracized from social groups if they choose not to partake in romance.

2) amatonormativity is a thing, look it up. i get that it may be frustrating if you are allo to accept that youve been taught a lot of stuff about romance that seems magical and all encompassing and you dont want to give it up, but no one is asking you to do that. i used to be taken aback at some things aro folks pointed out, but as ive read more, ive realized that romance is wonderful to some people but shouldnt be held up as the ultimate pedestal in society. so, romanticize romance and whatnot if you personally want to, but understand that certain social constructs may harm people, especially those who do not want relationships for whatever reason. plus, learning about amatonormativity has helped me positively go about my own relationships- platonic and otherwise! 3) im gonna piss people off with this one, but please stop with the bullshitty radfem takes about cishet men being the ultimate spawn of satan, or something. the jokes here and there were one thing, but some of you guys actually believing that most of what cishet men do is inherently evil is legitimately concerning and this doesnt do much to actually help any matters. no, the man choosing to have another hookup this week or continuing to fuck a female friend-with-benefits isnt the ultimate enemy here against women. most takes on "hookup culture" generalize a lot of people's experiences, and i know there is research backing multiple perspectives on this, but at the end of the day what needs to be realized is that you cannot stop two consenting people from doing things together. it has no impact on you, and does not have a grand impact on society. unless you have definitive proof that whatever evil man you're talking about is "using women", there's no point to what you are saying, and if there is such a man, cishet aro men still are legitimate in their identity. would you exclude gay people from the community because of gay people who do bad things? would you do that for most identities? no? what makes this so drastically different, then? dont pull the oppression argument again for the love of god anyways, i hope all the cishet aro men and aro people in general are having a nice day. you will always be a part of the lgbtq+ community. dont let anyone tell you otherwise, or discredit you for the amount of "oppression" you face, as im sure they dont know half of any struggles you have. and if you (or any queer person in general) do happen to have few struggles, im very happy for you, as that's how it should be!!

#rant #i genuinely cannot stand this discourse anymore #discourse critique #queer #aro #aromantic #arophobia #tw arophobia #scarletspider-lily #long post #btw im not aro so if i got smth wrong lmk but ya!

[blaqueswanzaghouliishiilikeda]

This may be my personal reading but I think Claudia very deliberately riled up Lestat in that chess scene so she could expose everything to Louis and get him to leave with her. I never saw Claudia for one second believing anything Lestat promised, but she likely went along with letting Lestat back in cause she knew that Louis needed to be shown without a doubt that Lestat was full of shit before he would actually agree to leave. Cause in that first chess scene its not like Lestat is saying anything provocative or aggressive towards anyone, for all we know, he's playing his part really well yet she pokes at him with very sensitive jabs (Nicki) to get him to expose himself, which he does and that helps to push Louis closer to leaving. She knows at this point Lestat isn't thinking about her much more than as a means to keep Louis so she turns that against him as now she becomes the means to get Louis away from Lestat.

I always wondered why in those 6 years did she not leave NOLA? We see that Louis is physically perfectly fine by year 3. She must've known with the non-stop gifts from Lestat it was only a matter of time before Louis was worn down.

im gonna push back on this hard. i want you to know that i’m not like mad or angry or shutting you down. im just VERY passionate about children especially black children.

before i get into it we do not see a louis who is perfectly fine ever. there is not a single episode when louis is in anyway stable. this is a assertion that does not take into account the beast of PTSD. that shit showed up with flashbacks in Dubai. He was not okay. and Claudia knew that.

also before i get to whats really driving me to push back. we are disagreeing in Lestat playing his part well. Louis is in love and bonded (the real actual definition of trauma bonded, not like how its been wildly misinterpreted) to lestat. He is not going along with this because Lestat is playing his part well. He is manipulating Louis. He is trying to manipulate Claudia. Lestat is the one who broke their relationship it does not matter that he’s not being provocative or aggressive in this scene. the last ten or so minutes ep 5 is enough of a reason for her to NEVER trust him again. What does it say that ANYONE should expect her to over look that alone and play nice because in this moment he’s not doing anything that is a take i cannot and will not agree with.

but ep 5 is not a stand alone. he been provocative and aggressive from the beginning.

but im gonna have to push back on something that has been bothering me. Claudia is not without emotion. and she is not without feeling. in fact locked up at fourteen she is MADE UP of emotion and feeling. she is NOT just a plotting monster. i thought i challenged this take enough in my rewatch but imma have to get into it more. maybe she doesnt feel the ramifications of her actions. maybe she isnt burdened by guilt bc of her age. maybe shes more ruthless bc of her age. why should i not attribute emotion to that. this is where i think ppl like to refuse the full breath of children’s humanity. kids seek nurture and care. they’ll do anything for it. they don’t have an full understanding of everything. but they are not these unfeeling cold monsters that just go about being destructive and not caring. a friend of mine told me onetime he took i think it was a jelly fish or something from the sea and put it in the bathwater bc he wanted to keep it. he didnt understand that would kill it. when it died he was so fucking anguished he cried for the rest of the day especially when his parents told him it happened bc he put it in the bath. that it belongs in the sea.

he didnt do that bc children are cruel monsters. he did that because he didnt understand the variety of life and the particular needs of that animal. but he is full of emotion. it was love that made him pick up that animal. it was love that made him want to keep it. it was love that crushed him when he found out what he had done.

now. i see to much that y’all wanna only allow the monster piece in claudia and it drives me up the wall. and her childhood is often used agaisnt her. shes more of a monster bc she didnt get to live a full life she let go of her humanity bc she didnt have all the years of humanity loustat did. except she had 14 years of humanity. in 14 years she lived a life. and i refuse to take that away from her. she is angry!! she is angry and sad and lonely and frustrated and isolated and alienated and reaching for connection and she is time and again denied her personhood. That is the humanity in her. she also fed the fuck up!!! and how she chooses to go about getting her ass out of there does not take away her humanity.

she is also curious. she also is loving and wants love in return. she is also nurturing and wants to be nurtured back. she is also gentle and wants gentleness back. ALL of this drives her ruthlessness for fighting back. her ruthlessness for killing. her ruthlessness for surviving. and her ruthless for doing what needs to be done to get out.

she also dragged louis out to algiers bc she loves him. bc it hurts her to see him. why do you think they included that little walk where they were talking about Emily Dickinson? they were happy. they weren’t perfectly fine. but they were happy. they were relaxed. they were at peace. they were each others. they werent constantly under the threat of abuse and mistreatment and fear. Louis traded that for his relationship with Lestat. I can understand why he did that and also stand with her on her anger about that. that fucking HHURTS! it hurts children when the abuser comes back home. it hurts them. she was hurt. so no i dont agree that she just did that to plot against them. hating and loving are often times not mutually exclusive. sometimes you hate because you love. and eventually with enough signs it wont get better hate can eclipse love. but thats where it was born. at least thats what i see was elevated in their relationship with the amcverse.

#mw asks #claudia is a full person #a whole person #she’s not only just doing things to further the plot to me #shes a ruthless vampire bc times were ruthless and the trauma that turned her was ruthless and the hell she endured wasruthless and the #one conducting her hell was ruthless #iwtv #this was in my drafts i thought i posted it.

[dudewithastick]

sneaky peek at my current wip (also the first wip i had in months) and some thots on it. i need to rant (complain) so bear with me

so far its going pretty good, it doesn’t look bad and thats cool bcs i defs wouldve given up if it did look bad at this point.

obviously this is some kind of realism style and its okay, its not the best, idc. what sucks is that i dont even want this style but its the only one i can do. like i wanna do cartoons and other artsy stuff with clear lines or just sketching. stuff i see online, but i CANNOT do it, no matter how hard i try. i will always do some realistic shadowing and then its over bcs the composition isnt right for me anymore. and i hate it bcs not only would my life be so much easier if i wouldnt fall into this kind of ‘realistic’ style, which is straight up a pain, id be so much more productive as well. but i’m some weird perfectionist dumbass (blame it on my virgo rising or whatever) so shading and tiny details it is.

speaking of details, i love that i accidentally built this wip on my sketch file, which was not nearly a good enough format and now the quality SUCKS ASS but thats nothing new to me so i’m just gonna accept that every detail i draw is like 5 pixels only and you can barely see them.

another thing i suck at is color theory. and when i started this project (yesterday) i was set on doing only b&w. literally 3 seconds in i used colors and i regretted it immediately bcs it looked good which meant i had to continue bcs we dont do half assed shit… so now i committed to color and i don’t understand color theory. like i can see it working but it doesn’t make sense and all i do is experiment bcs i see no sense or pattern (now i question my tiktok diagnosis of autism, neurodivergence and adhd)

at this point i have also given up at originality. im just copying my references picture, which is fine bcs i will never be able to draw a whole ass person, and i would defs not be satisfied if i wouldn’t add details. so now im stuck at drawing a whole military outfit and my reference picture is also only 9 pixels so i cant even make out what im drawing. i’m just guessing at this point.

okay for now the last part of my complaining… @blnk338 why did u choose such a unique mask for reaper? the way i struggled with the concept and its still not perfect but i dont wanna get hung up on it so i’m moving all over the place and going back to the mask every other minute… pretty sure the mask design alone took me 2 hours to put together so it made sense to my brain and then another 3 to design to my liking lmao

anyway this is a snippet of my current take on reaper from rwys, which so far is only the body but there will probs be eyes at some point, if i dont give up. first time in months, almost years of drawing something, so i guess big thanks to blink for giving me the motivation and a character to work on for fun. hopefully i can give an update on progress soon lol

#rwys #fanart #reaper #prawny draws #prawny complains #prawny rants #wip #teach me color theory pls i beg u #why did i choose the placement of my light source 3 hours in?? #i am my own nemesis

[deepseatranssexualism]

im convinced i already sent you an ask abt this but i cannot find it so maybe i hallucinated it? i am rewriting it cuz you are my coolest mutual and also bc its not like i can tell anyone in real life abt this

im Convinced my partner is at least partially transfem but its like. please how do i help em crack their egg

like for context some of the things that they do is: have extremely long hair, loves it when i call em a girl, loves to be called pretty, was so happy when i made em try my dresses, wanted me to put makeup and nailpolish on em, said that theyre fine with any pronouns, straight up told me they tought they were trans for like a week many years ago.... but they still call themselves a cis man

dont get me wrong i have brought this up w em like, as gently as i could, and they said that they kinda knew i had suspicions, and they questioned their gender too, but they are 99% sure theyre not trans. they continue to say they like any pronouns and smile so much when i use feminine pronouns w em.

so on one hand im like. this is your life, and obvs i cant force labels onto you, and sometimes people are just gender noncomforming. on the other hand, im preeeeeeeeettyvsure theres something deeper going on and i want to help my partner but i have no idea what to do

also its not like they dont have enough exposure to trans people, me and the other person in our friend group are both trans :p

I mean, honestly, let em know that they dont have to be a binary trans woman to be trans. If they feel fine with the label of cis man that is fine too! But you dont have to be uncomfortable or unhappy with your gender to be trans, often times someone with a more loose presentation might wonder for a long time because they dont fit the marks, but think 'im fine like this so i guess im not'. The thing is that it can be fine like that, surely, but it can be wonderful when trying other stuff. Honestly just let em know you'd hold their back whatever label they pick, and that labels are fluctuant and not something you gotta pick and stick with it. Also, they could simply not use any labels at all. One could be like 'well i dont think im a trans woman, i dont think im nonbinary, im def not a trans man because thats not my anatomy, so i guess im just cis', and while thats fine too, theres the option to simply be queer, or unlabeled. Let em know that they dont gotta pick something with any rush, that they dont need to define themselves in a word to fit in a twitter bio. If they find cis man descriptive for them, thats also wonderful! I find a lot of joy in seeing cis men use any pronouns and present femeninely. Someday in the future they might go for smth else, and it doesnt make their cis man-ness less true to who they are now, and their autodefinition of 'cis man' now isnt less because of what they might pick next. Make sure they know its a matter of preference and comfort, rather than discomfort and guidelines. Make sure they can be whoever they want around you, which im sure you already do. Talk to them about how they feel, ask them about what the labels they use mean to them and share about the labels you use and the meaning these have for you. We have all the options in the world, always, me, you, them, everyone else who exists. Nothing is permanent and a small change could signify a big joy. Im sorry if this is a big paragraph of 'just be yourself 🏳️‍🌈 :)', i could probably be of more help if i knew them but alas i hope this is something at least!

[kbirby]

People dislike the 2001 FB because it’s unfaithful to the original story.

I'm aware! But I think its an unjust reason.

I think that what makes a good adaptation or even a good story based on something is not directly tied to how faithful it is to the original.

It is about what that story does with its premise, how does it transform it?

Making something completely like the original does not make it immediately the best thing ever, and I would argue that Fruits Basket 2001 actually does a better job of conveying the original FEELING of Fruits Basket, even if it lacks in the story.

Fruits Basket 2001 was running when the manga wasn't finished which doomed it to split into a different narrative path, missing many things people loved about the manga's story and we never got a second season, missing out on the intricacies of the story of FB.

HOWEVER, what 2019 does horribly in comparison to 2001, that for me personally ruined my entire watching experience, was the atmosphere and feeling of the story. Specifically in the music.

While FB 2001 fails to ever tell the full story of FB, the story it does tell hits harder emotionally and the experience is more shocking than when I watched 2019. And I realized this was because of the music, 2019's music failed to stick with me in any positive way. It is so boring that I cannot remember a SINGLE tune of it, except for the one I hate the most that plays during ever serious or sad moment. The atmosphere for 2019 ends up being strangely, non comedic during many times there should be comedy. Mostly again due to the music, the atmosphere is starkingly dark and dramatic and I know that a lot of people most likely prefer this.

A lot of critique 2001 gets is that it is "too comedic", as if fruits basket isnt a ROMANTIC COMEDY SLICE OF LIFE. In fact the comedy INCREDIBLY aided in the serious moments of 2001; The music of 2001 gives us such beautiful melodies and themes, motifs of different characters and different feelings, sometimes even reoccurring in different instruments to have us feel a different way. Hiro's theme going from slightly slower to a faster paced when he starts hustling and fast talking people, flustering them. The main theme "Memory" being played in its full form or being played in lighter instruments giving us a feeling of nostalgia tinged with sadness. There is life and character in this OST, it is beautiful and largely carries 2001.

Now I understand why 2019 couldn't use the OG soundtrack, whether for copyright reasons or maybe they just wanted to go a different direction, but the new OST is boring. It is lifeless. It is REPETITIVE. The SAME exact track is played for almost ever serious moment, and in general fails to make me feel ANYTHING for the characters of 2019, so much so that it completely ruins the atmosphere of the show.

It helps aid in Fruits Basket feeling overtly serious, that and line delivery and general direction of the show. And the main reason this is an issue is that extremely serious moments of trauma we are shown, moments that we should be feeling bad for characters, have left me holding back LAUGHTER from how ridiculous it feels. There is not "Oh fuck this is super serious" moment in 2019 because EVERYTHING feels so serious.

2001 Does an amazing job of subtly drifting from the comedic slife of life energy, to more serious topics like Hatori's trauma, Momiji's family relationship, Kisa being bullied, and the AMAZING finale that I wont even spoil. The end of Fruits Basket 2001 left me aching for more and stunned at how I had ended up there, yet does it so seemlessly. Tohru is the light that carries the show, that carries the characters through their deep trauma, staying positive despite her situation no matter how incredibly depressing. And 2001 does this through its music.

If you like 2019, by god I hope you do. I really do. I wish I liked 2019 I wanted to SO BAD. I waited YEAAAAARRSS for a season 2 or revival, and when it came I was so excited!! But as I watched, I could not get over how much the general vibe and ambience bothered me, it hindered my watching experience and I actually DROPPED IT when it first came out, only picking it back up when the show FINISHED. I hope despite all this, despite all my grievances people that love 2019 love it for their reasons and dont care what I say.

But by god, something being more accurate to the original does not automatically make it better, or the first rendition that was not completely true to the original bad. And I will never get over how people can actually think that.

#kbirby.txt. #kbirby.rant #rant #fruits basket 2001 #fruits basket 2019

[moonjxsung]

i get on your blog this morning and these news are the first fucking thing i see???? holy fuck you dont understand how much my blood is boiling right now, and i cannot even BEGIN to imagine what it would feel like for you, the original author, when just a simple reader is feeling this way.

what pisses me off even more is that taking a publication and posting it without proper credit or permission is one thing, but taking a publication, changing the title and everything, claiming it as yours and making your OWN copyright warnings, and saying shit like "oh i put my blood sweat and tears into writing this!! :3" PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP 😭😭 you know what you DID put your blood sweat and tears into?? pressing that ctrl c and ctrl v button and pressing post.

these people need to GET. A. LIFE. WAKE THE FUCK UP 😭😭 if you want to have a gorgeously written fic and claim it as your own, publishing it for everyone to see, THEN MAKE YOUR OWN. IT IS PLAIN FUCKING EMBARASSING, ESPECIALLY FOR THE OG AUTHOR TO SEE THEIR OWN COPYRIGHTED POSTS, WITH YOU CLAIMING IT AS YOUR OWN. how do people not get this..

im sorry im a little pressed with this right now but 😋😋 im gonna send this anon msg to you and then go to wattpad and comment on every single line saying that that shit isnt their fic, and report it and somehow attempt to get in contact with them to fucking bash at them. i personally think violence is never the answer but people like this make me second guess my choices sometimes aha!

REMINDER THAT I LUV YOU SOSO MUCH and we are here for your for situations like this no matter what. ty for telling us about it so we can report it. this is such an unfair and icky situation for you and i understand that, we luv you so fucking much star we'll get back at that fucking wattpad user for this (ofc its wattpad 😭)

~《☘》, burning with rage

THE “BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS” PART KILLED MEEEE LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN 😭😭 and the way they maintained it being their original work even when they finally took it down???? I will never for the LIFE of me understand thieves and their tactics. They really delude themselves into thinking it’s their property 🥲 THANK YOU endlessly for all your help and for helping me get it taken down, you guys are truly the best and I don’t know what on earth I would do without all your support ☹️🫶🩷 I seriously love you so so much it hurts

#☘️ anon #ask

[frabbitx]

My interpretation and theorys about tommys season 1 dsmp final!

SPOILER WARNING FOR TOMMYS "The last stream" LORE STREAM!!!!

After tommy was revived, he finally made sense of the core of dreams desire for the server, he cannot understand why dream had to do the things he did to make that happen, why simplier times had to be the way he wanted them to be or why he hurt everyone in an attempt to achieve it, but he gets the core desire of his views, just showing how compassionate tommy is despite dream having tortured and abused and killed him for the past 2 years.

Dreams sees that and imidiently tries to use it into manipulating tommy to join their side, pretending to be all simple and just wanting to be friends. Of course that is untill he realizes that he is gonna die and that it was a trap.

Tommy saying "I'm sorry" wasnt him apologizing to dream for what he did but more for that he had to kill him, bc in the end, tommy never wanted to kill anyone, but to save the server he had to.

The nuke only hit the prison, like it intended to do.

However somehow the 5 people that were in the prison woke up somewhere else. Prehaps it was still the same server, just far away from everything or maybe it was a completly new world. They all had their memory wiped, but prehaps memory can be recovered?

(Also a lil theory im case that the whole server was nuked and everything was reset)

What cdream and ccwilbur said about the server got me thinking

Cdream said "how do people just apear on the server?" And ccwilbur said "prehaps ctommy and cwilbur met on another world, parted ways but met again on the dream smp."

It makes it seem like the server just started existing at one point and one after another, people joined. That doesn't make sense tho considering certain people have memorys from befor them officially joining the server that played on the server tho? (Like ranboo, puffy, eret) or that karl can go back in time to stuff existing on the smp and also the egg existing for a long time on the server. It makes no sense!

But what if the server is a loop? What if this isnt the first time that the server existed? What if dreamXD just resets the server everytime things go bad?

It would mean everyone has amnesia, but only some are aware that they have a past they forgotten. And that would mean that while the server gets reset, its possible to regain the memories of the past loop.

I would also like to think that there is people who were/are not part of the loop bc they came from somewhere else. Techno came from somewhere, so he would have no memories of a past life he forgotten. Same goes for phil and wilbur. However, phil might be part of the cycle now considering he was on the server when it was reset. Or prehaps he is not. I'd like to belief that wilbur isn't effected by the loop since he is not on the server, so if he ever returns he would be the only one who can remember the old dream smp. Maybe also foolish keepe his memories considering he is a demi god. He just didn't interact with anyone befor beside eret so he would not know that the server gets reset. Maybe also connor bc it would be funny.

------------------------------------------

Even if I am wrong about all this, a saw a lot of takes on the ending that kinda saved it for me? Considering that tommy raged about cdream defenders in his offline chat before I think it wasn't intentional made to sympathize with cdream. Was it well executed? Not at all but again, the people on the dream smp are not writers in any way and I can see how it was hard to convey the message they wanted to give. I am already happy with alot of stuff that happened and the way ctommys character was handled. Because after all, ctommy is a compassinate person who always tries to see the best in people(we have seen that many times in people like techno or wilbur) who tries to belief there is good in everyone and that even small speeks of good are worth fighting for. No matter how much cdream hurt ctommy, he wanted to do all he could to not have to kill him in the end. Unfortunatly it was too late the moment tommy stepped into that prison.

#mcyt #dream smp #tommyinnit #dsmp #dreamwastaken #lore #dsmp lore #dream smp lore #ctommy #cdream #lore take #cdream neg #cdream apologist dni #spoilers

[nonegenderleftpain]

calling a trans woman a child and a whiner for rightfully condemning people for financially supporting a site that platforms both transphobia and racism isnt a good look tbh, just admit you care about preserving your fandom spaces more than people's very real problems with this site.

I use this site as a platform for disability advocacy, trans rights advocacy, and sex education. Fandom is secondary.

There is not a single platform out there that does not have bigots on it. It doesn't exist. I'm a trans Jew. The existence of transphobia and racism on this site affects me very deeply and very personally. The solution is not to cut off your nose to spite your face. I'll say what I said again - it is childish and naive to sit and bitch and whine about people financially supporting a space that they spend so much time using, in which they have community spaces that are criminalized or censored on other platforms. It is equally naive and childish to believe that this site - *on which you are complaining*, might I remind you - can just keep going with no changes to structure. I value a community space that allows me to be anonymous and do my work without risking losing my fucking HRT because the wrong people found out that I talk about still wearing dresses on testosterone online. It doesn't matter that she's a trans woman, it's a cold take.

What was the last thing you did to fight racism and transphobia in your community? Was it bitch and moan? Or did you actually spend the time dismantling racist ideals in your community? Maybe educate people on racist and transphobic rhetoric? Create a community space that is heavily moderated to protect members? If your attitude is to just scream about people buying entertainment to support a space that allows you to say lesbian without having to fucking censor it, then I don't want to hear you talk about bigotry on this platform. You know where else there's bigotry? Every single social media platform that exists. The difference between Tumblr and other platforms is that here, we're still allowed to talk openly about queer sex and relationships without fear of account termination. Without having to attach our real life names to our accounts. Without having to worry about advertisers changing the things we are and are not allowed to say. Apple's chokehold on half the fucking mobile market already caused irreparable damage to communities on this site that depended on it for their livelihoods. If the site changes hands again because it is a constant financial black hole, we can say goodbye to even more of our freedoms.

The freedom to talk openly about queer experiences without fear of repercussions depends entirely on the lack of advertisers sanitizing and colonizing this space. And keeping them out means supporting this site. ANY site that allows for open discussion is going to have a problem with bigots. That's just how the world works. This site is too big to eliminate every racist transphobe. Tumblr, unlike most social media platforms, actually has a functioning block and blacklist built in. Use it to protect yourself, and then work on dismantling those people's platform, or stop bitching. You HAVE to learn to take responsibility for your own online experience and curate it accordingly. Expecting websites to do it for you means begging big daddy capitalism to step in and censor everything til it's squeaky clean. And that includes pushing all mention of the dirty queers and greedy Jews into the back room and locking it, like they have over, and over, and OVER again.

It is your job as an adult to protect yourself online. Curate your own safe spaces, because you cannot get rid of every bigot that exists. It's not possible. And sitting and complaining about the rain instead of pulling out a damn umbrella and helping your friends put up a tarp is childish. It's also a very privileged position. For many of us, there is NOWHERE ELSE TO GO. And this place allows us the freedom to exist without fear of censorship, doxxing and catering to capitalism. It's not perfect, but if you sit and refuse to take steps to make the world better - like helping keep a platform that you depend on from caving to the bullshit gentrification happening everywhere else - because the result isn't perfect, then you're wasting everyone's time and energy. Someone is going to have to do the dishes after the revolution. If you wait for automation to prevent people from having to do that labor instead of rolling up your sleeves and getting your hands wet, it's never going to get better.

I'll say it again - block me. I used this ask as a teaching moment, and I will not be responding to any further anons on this subject. Stop being a coward and put your face to your words or stop wasting both our times.

#anon hate #the ask and the answer but not the book #stupid people #tumblr meta #twitter fiasco

[deanwinchesterf]

Most terfs i see are vehemntly against consensual stuff such as BDSM and the likes of that. I see many even against porn and sex work in general. I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable for calling you queer, i was going on lgbt+ history there.

As for oppression, yes sexism and opression exists, but blaming every man and putting down men isnt going to fix anything. To be equals you cant pull down people to your level, you have to work together to rise up simultaneously. Am i saying work with sexist people? Of course not, fuck those people. I'm saying you have to work with your allies, no matter who they may be. This idea of "all men are inherently evil" doesnt work towards any goal other then harming men. Most of the men that get harmed are men who are already oppressed anyways.

Can you give me an example of your idealogy ever actually helping someone that doesnt put down someone else?

may i ask you, what is the difference between a man beating a woman because he just loves beating women, and a man beating a woman because he loves beating women AND it gives him a boner? consent is irrelevant, in this context. i used to pratice bdsm before i became a feminist, so trust me when i say i know all of the arguments of consent, etc. turns out i just absolutely hated myself and figured that if i asked others to harm me, i didnt have to harm myself. i consented to all that was done to me, but it has still left me with a completely broken sexuality. note also how radfems arent against all kink - none of us could care less if you like sucking toes or pretending youre ballooning up to massive size. the violence, however, is harmful.

thats not even mentioning how violence in sex has become so commonplace that literal children on tiktok speak about wanting to get raped, choked and beaten. its not healthy.

as for porn, how can you tell that the video youre watching is consensual? how can you tell the actors are in the videos because they love it and want to be? why should we normalise that very, very young people can feed themselves a steady stream of extreme violence committed against women, all while masturbating - creating an orgasm, a perfect way to wire their brains into thinking violence = good.

i am a survivor of ”sex work”, actually. id like you to ponder about the fact that all ex ”sex workers” out there are extremely against ”sex work”. selling feet pics on onlyfans is not the same as the reality for most women who sell sexual services. most are trafficked, dependent on drugs, are raped regularily. ask yourself, should the extremely rare and few sex workers who love their professions and have the ability to choose their clients speak over us who have survived and speak about the horrors we faced?

i cant say i quite understand your argument re: men. the truth is, all men benefit from our oppression. i have yet to meet a man who actively fights for womens liberation. its not about being equal, its about being liberated, and we cannot be if we coddle men. id also like to ask you - do you think men speak like this to other men re: sexist views? have you seen the way men speak about women in their enclosed spaces? i do agree that not all men are evil, but the truth is enough of them are that youre not safe around any of them.

radical feminism, in my opinion, allows women to find sisterhood, something ripped away from us by patriarchy. we can speak about womens voting rights, our rights to have our own bank accounts, abortion rights, right to divorce etc, but i think you already know all of those which is why i speak about personal experience.

a woman who unlearns centering her life around men is a powerful woman. giving women their voices back, and their bodies, and the love of other women is to me worth unmentionably much more than mens hurt feelings. womens lands, womens movements and even just all female friend groups - i have a circle of radfem friends who are all absolutely incredible people - they all collectively put womens needs and wants back into focus. men have always centered other men, so why shouldnt women center other women? why are you not in the inbox of MGTOWs, MRAs and redpillers? what is it specifically about radical feminism that is so provoking?

#ask

[kath-artic]

it's so cool how reading that one coherentist essay like 3 years ago changed me completely bc now i operate on the vague belief that 1) a system of beliefs/behaviors validity is measures in how little it contradicts itself 2) most contradictions can be resolved by taking a step back, in order to have two opposite answers they must branch out from a common question 3) futility is a fundamental exercise in humanity, sometimes beauty lives in the faults of the system. so now every time i do or think something that doesnt really fit with the system i put it on trial and ask "is this something i want to keep? is this representative of me? do i change the belief to fit the system or the system to fit the belief? and if i cannot resolve the contradiction, is it something i should accomodate regardless?" and then i start doing dialectics about it.

example:

this recent issue with the guy i was seeing was really bothering me, but it was mostly bothering me because it was bothering me. i had just made a whole big show of rejecting possessiveness and allowing things to naturally flow into their own niches without needing to label them, why am i worried about "what are we" and "why isnt he texting me," especially when me and him had previously discussed our comfort with the idea of drifting in and out of contact? am i perhaps asking these questions in a special way that is somehow not in contradiction to what i believe? or are these thoughts born out of something that is not and should not be me. what i finally landed on was the latter. and then i said "i should take a step back from this, however if he texted me right now asking to hang out i would go, so what constitutes 'stepping back?'" and then i thought about the ways i've structured myself around the archetype of the trickster and thought "is that the facet of myself i should be playing into?" while also reminding myself of my usual comfort in ambiguity. i had already established at that point that thinking of it as a matter of "yes we're still seeing each other" and "no we aren't" didn't serve me and i had also established that that was largely because labels do not serve me, however how am i to understand the principle i'm setting for myself if i do not codify it? the answer there is that my issue with labels lies in my issue with descriptive language, however i have the highest respect for narrative lanaguage because its the most comprehensive. the situation is then best understood as a schrodingers cat situation (which is a metaphor which is narrative). right now we exist in a quantum state. until our relationship or lack there of is observed, it exists in all states at once and is therefore not worth worrying about. once those pieces snapped into place, so much of my anxiety melted right away. currently the contadictions i'm about to start evaluating are those of possession. i believe the desire to possess is the root of so much misfortune and evil and therefore desire only to share in what i am allowed as far as i am allowed when it comes to my dealings with other people. i will be a part of their narrative for as long as i am allowed to be, but i will not possess them. that being said, how then do i reconcile my possessiveness over myself and the ways i'm perceived? i don't like when other people discuss my body or my experiences or my feelings on my behalf. i don't like when they tell me how to act or what to feel or presume to know how valuable something is. i worry that in describing momentary beauty to someone, they will latch on to the fact it was momentary and not see the value in it. i suppose i worry because my narrative is my life once i'm gone and i don't want to be twisted. theres then also the matter of my body. do i possess it? does anyone? i have a preference for fucking people with penises because i like to imagine myself as them, to inhabit ("possess") their body for an instant. is that dispossessive of me? should i even care about the answer or am i asking the wrong question? idk here, but i feel like this breakthrough will be huge for my relationship with my body

#in case anyone was wondering what its like to think like me

[floofymeow]

after the rain episode 6: some thoughts! <3

silence in slice of life/iyashikei, friendship in a romance-prioritized world, and aquariums and oceans; perspective and priority

quick rundown! tachibana akira is a highschooler no longer being able to participate in track due to a leg injury. Koi wa Ameagari no Yō ni, aka "After the Rain", is about her falling in love with a vastly older man named Kondou Masami and navigating those feelings.

this episode is a window into akira's friendship Kyan Haruka, as well as a chance meeting in the library by akira with masami !

silence in slice of life/iyashikei !

there are many moments where the show demands a silent attention from the audience. theres a scene this episode where it simply is akira walking through the streets, eventually reaching a train station overlooking the scenery. and it just... took my breath away. she just enjoys the view... and then the moment is over when her phone pings a notif lol. and like that, it's over and we move on with the rest of the show.

it made me think about how many shows run today demanding a quick pace--actions, fights, conflict, tension. it made me think about how many people could even appreciate this show--how many people probably thought it was boring without something to fill empty space. how many people couldn't tolerate a scene thats trying to teach you slow down and wait, because you don't have to instantly find what you need. sometimes i wonder if we are losing the capacity watch slower media, when all today's media is to scroll and consume information as fast as possible.... teehee.

i honestly think the silence is the game changer for the show's emotional maturity--it's why i highkey think this show would be categorized as josei (older female audience) rather than shoujo (younger female audience). you dont need akira's thoughts for it to be spelled out. you dont need to hear her gush over masami, or say she's in love, or anything. you see it all by how she acts and how the show carries itself.

there's a trust in the audience that they will understand what's going on. the show knows its trying to draw upon common experiences of what its like to be in love/have a crush--and thus, expects the audience to follow along without having to take away from any of the immersion to explain! <333

friendship in a romance-prioritized world !

i really like how estranged haruka felt from akira. it feels very real--to have a longstanding relationship waver. and to wonder why your dynamic has now changed. like i felt my heart get stabbed when she saw akira with her coworker/new friend, and despite her not distinctly saying anything, i could so clearly hear her wonder:

'what had changed for everything to be so different now?'

i love that, despire akira attempting to gacha a specfic keychain over a love charm rumor--it was haruka who gives her the one she wants. this show has always put the question in the air--why does akira need to have a crush on masami? and an answer is that she feels lacking in her connections, especially in context her isolation from her track group.

anyway, the resolution that haruka re-affirms their friendship is super sweet. it stands outside of the interests that once brought them together (track). and most importantly, it withstands their changing circumstances and needs (no longer spending tons of time together).

it is so important that haruka is the one to give akira that keychain--like i cannot express how much it means. the moment its given to her is the moment the keychain is no longer about masami--it begins to break away this hyper-focus on everything masami. this show isnt just about romance. it never was..!!!

it begins to ground akira back into a world where connections of all kinds matter, and she has to acknowledge the one waiting for her all along.

idk about you but i live in a world where romance gets put on a pedastal. essential. necessary. required. if you dont experience it, youre being left out. its the end goal--its common. its not a bad thing at all, but it does reflect in media! romance...!! and thats why when i get to see the nuance of friendship and a one-sided romance that is explored (why akira is in love, rather than centered on the progression of the romance itself), its very exciting!

experiencing media about romance is thrilling--it always is <3 but experiencing the heartache of friendship is few and far between, which makes it a certain type of special.

romance doesnt beat friendship. and friendship doesnt beat romance. they just have different places in life~!

i do believe however, that because we are entrenched in a romantic society, we see more accurate representations of romance, and less so of friendship--just by margin of portrayal. just an observation!

aquariums and oceans; perspective and priority

when akira tries to seek a common ground by gauging out masami's interest in recommending her "books "pure literature" books, masami gently re-orients her. he calls the library a "sea", but then the entire library becomes an aquarium in akira's eyes.

it kinda kills me with how pretty it is <3 perspective, perspective, perspective!!! whenever we are with akira, its such a hopeful, bright youthfulness. the romanticization of an aquarium--the association of a date, maybe a place where she gets to observe masami as she wishes, and just overall vibrancy is so cute.

but as soon as we move to masami's inner thoughts, everything returns to as it is--he does not see her in the same way she does. whats more, she comes out with two books--one she wants to read because it interests her, and one about track.

i love this scene because it really puts out a question: right now in her life, what is akira's priority?

for her, having a new environment, new relationships, and a new crush to indulge in was necessary. she needed time. she needed a community to feel grounded in. she needed space away from the environment that she feels lost in.

but then, masami (unconsciously) poses the question again, and i really love that. right now, now that shes reconnected with haruka, what is akira's priority?

its a really big scawy question to ask. and its one everyone has to ask themselves periodically. what do i need right now? what is my priority? its cool that the show poses it--and forces the audience to reflect for themselves on that as well <3

this episode def feels like an almost-turning point for akira, especially as we begin to hint that we will soon dig into masami's past and why he is the way he is. she is beginning to acknowledge what she needs--her discomfort, her hopes, her frustrations.

i love her so much because she is relatable--it is so easy to rebound. to move on without finding resolution, and to cope with difficult things with fantasy or romance. and the show doesnt portray it as a negative thing--its very, very natural. its normal. its okay, and akira is beginning to ease her way to that conclusion as well.

ok fin~

#after the rain #koi wa ameagari no you ni #floofymeow writes #my word vomit <3 #couldnt b bothered to capitalize #sorry :3 #to the tumblr void this goes! #ew who wants to read someones THOUGHTS and OPINIONS on something #literally have to vomit this down so that it leaves my brani #i rlly like this show so far its super good

[the-acid-pear-ocs]

listening to white lies did get me thinking about how seeing Juan as a ghost is rather interesting in a way. I mean Bloody did bring him back from the death but the why is, beyond me. I mean, it's more of, why he stayed, yknow? Like there's a point where you need to ask why isnt this man killing himself when as far as we (i) know when he originally died was by his own hand ((this reminded me of his original story where he killed his wife or something that was so funny)) so after all he has gone thru he'd so hard be trying to end what Sheina started no matter how much Bloody and co. are like nooo 🥺🥺 like he really has no motivation.

At first, sure, he didnt remember jack shit, he was kinda just dilly dallying but after he knows what shit was about i cannot see him just, not caring. Esp w a woman hunting him the fuck down. And i kinda just dodged my way around his immortality but... what if it was a matter of He Can't Die Again Until He Finishes What He Came Back For?

At the same time its an idea i'd have to spin thru a bit because i dont want him to die again LMAO like, it really is a second chance, but he needs something at the end, he needs something to stay alive, even if he doesnt know what it is. Maybe it'd be like "oh he's fully mortal again after that" but it'd be hard to tell what even his unfinished business are other than... well... actually living.

I guess that'd be a plot point. Him going over his past trying to make a list of all he has done and all he hasn't until he finally Nails what he was missing. It is compelling, it is a tough task to livew the life you never lived because you'd have to acknowledge it too and it'd be A Lot. It'd have to think about it.

Because if this applies to Juan it SHOULD apply to the rest too which makes the fact that Raul is working for bloody make her look even worse because like omg girl just let him move on da hell . . . 😭😭

but hey this is just a concept, it doesnt mean much

#[main ocs] #[juan]

[wildlycuriouswanderercj]

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

dont enslave yourself

if you dont need to

if u need to u need to

if u dont need to do it

dont do it

just go and live life

its that simple

when the gates are open

at a low close

and u dont do it

u ultimate miss out

on those few months

u miss out

on all good things i may possible occur

what u dont want is in ur 50s

and wishing u had the chance now

when ur mom and dad is old and weak

has no more money

thats when life really gets hard

right now.

we are free

we can do anything we want

we can go and start up again that nline class

we can go and travel

we can go and live

we can go and get motivated

and get inspiried

before the life

before society turns to shit

before something else after covid comes.

we need to move.

we cannot hold on

we have to go

we can come back.

we always can and will

but we have charged up enough

and enough is all u need

me and john

weere not getting close

he doesnt like me

at all

and i dont need anybod

ANYBODY’

to like em at all

i dont like anybody

actually i love everybody workin there

everybody is cool

except a few

like jomar

but hes like the only one that sucks

oh and will

hes kinda sucks too

but julio is cool

and mario

and simon

u know

i really dont give a shit about anybody here

i just cant wait to ship out and deploy again

i am leave july

and latest august

i am leave

i will not stay here

i cannot

its not that i cannot or should not

its that i am not suppose to

and i cannot

and i should not

because its a waste of life

no

its a environment that doesnt allow me 

to be my best self

u need t put urself

in the environment

u

need to 

put YOURSELF

in the best environment

for YOURSELF

ur friendse

or co worker

u are only in charge of where u put urself.

not others

fuck others

u are resposibile only for your location

and maybe one u like

but h=ur here to make money

and takes it

u leave

boom

yeah most people i work with

cool

and im have a good time

but i cannot stay

this comfortable environtment

isnt making me grow any much more

matter in fact

i think i decelerated a bit from the grown charcter i was

now things are differnt

we need to grow bigger

stronger

we need to spend more time studying

how to become greater smarter

faster richer

we will go do just that

july 23

were coming

no were going. earlier the better 

[hauntedotherworld]

i have like 7 blogs here for the different ‘sides’ or whatever they are , of “”myself”” i guess from this mind . i t isnt enough still though , i just need seperate spaces to be the differsnt parts because they are so vastly different because i have no self , so its like i am posessed by a few certain ghosts who mean alot to me (real ones) but its me mixed with that.. kindof.. its like i have parts of THEM in me . with me ! it cant go, i mean they affect me so deeply i mourn over it and dissaosciate and feel weird . i couldnt eat for 3 days just because of the secrets i had found about them that was a year or two ago but they still affect me so much daily .. I live inside my head and they do too .. ,,lets just say that. yet the inflyence of my own mind is strongest and merges with them of course ,because it is in my mind , when i say my that refers to this vessel .. and no i am not psychotic ha ha it makes sense if you are me , maybe some others have something similar ; theres billions of people on this planet - there must be others who know what im talking about . but i feel so alone , and the secrets i found only very few ‘normal’ people (you know what i mean by that) know.. the majority who also know are ..you know . i don’t want to say anymore about that . im just drained of having to exist when i am so far away from a person , i just have a body that’s it ! and this body means nothing tk me - i feel 0 connection with what i see in the mirror. but whwn i do myself up i think my eyes are rhe only thing that feel like they match my mind . they are mine . the rest is just a canvas that i make look nice because i have to .. thats all my worth that could attract people , that’s my object to let people have - its more like a trick . it is out of my control but they just love me not knowing theres no one inside . they say they don’t care when i tell them that i cannot love normally and i have these mental illnesses and you just don’t want to be tangled up in me but they never care! they just adore me. in the end they leave though , they can’t handle it . weirdly alot of them come back no matter how bad we fought , they actually liked me so much.. and my acts . but i isolate because what else can i do , it is nothing to me right they are just things to play around with but its too draining now.. i still want everyone to love me so i make myself up . just .. thinking how cracked i am , no idea what to do with this life . i need to die to be free it’s difficult .. i don’t know who i am supposed to be . am i many ? but i am nothing regardless theyre just like gosts living in my heart ..

#long post #p #thghts #v #i hate this ! its so confusing living like this