being butch is tough. you're one of the guys, but you're not a guy at the same time. you're masculine, you know things about masc culture, presentation and behavior, but you're not allowed to express it if you're not a guy. you're stuck in this limbo area where people refuse to see you for who you are no matter who it is, be it a masculine woman, a genderqueer or nonbinary person, a transmasculine person, a trans guy, a masc gay guy, a masc bi person, a masc intersex person, the list goes on.
the act of being butch is awesome. if you're not a man, you're not allowed to express masculinity- that's what makes being butch tough.
i hate that there is so much hatred for women in the world, so much hatred for girls, even little girls. cant even express how much love my heart holds for women, i love being a woman and i love women more than anything. everything about women, everything about trans, poc, cis , queer, butch, disabled, religious, neurodivergent, fat, old women, everything about all women is so so beautiful. and yes there are women that suck and womanhood isnt about being a cute little innocent person, but oh how i love women and i love women who love women and i love women.
"In Parkhill, Ontario, just a few miles east of the Michigan border, the Wind Sisters motorcycle club has been riding the roads in this southernmost Canadian province since 2011.
“Our role in the community has always been one of the great protector,” said Patricia Ginn, a self-described “butch” and longtime member.
Ginn and her fellow Wind Sisters, clad in denim and leather, formed a human chain and kept the two groups apart."
Read the full piece here: https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2023/05/womens-biker-club-protects-kids-from-conservative-protestors-at-drag-queen-story-hour/
Butches can wear nail polish. Butches can wear makeup. Butches can like 'feminine' things. Butches can be men. Butches can be genderless. Butches can be non-lesbians.
Where do you think the line is between "feminine man" and "trans woman?" How about "butch woman" and "trans man?" Where do binary identities end and the gender binary begin? (this isn't a gotcha question, I am questioning my own gender)
Gender feels like a game where everyone knows the rules except for me. It's frustrating! I wish someone would explain.
There isn't a line, it's a gradient. Sorry I can't give you a definitive but there literally isn't a line between any of those identities- there's no hard place where one ends and the other begins. Many time, those end up being the same people. Not always for individual people, many people draw their own personal hard lines in the sand.
Being adjacent or similar experiences doesn't mean there's a hard line between them. While many people want there to be a hard line between feminine man and trans woman, and butch woman and trans man, there isn't one, and because of that, there is a wide gradient of experiences between even those two similar identities. The ambiguity is good, because it means no one is forced to make decisions they do not want to make.
There are butch women who go on testosterone, and there are trans men who don't. There are feminine men who take estrogens, and there are trans women who don't. Many trans women start off viewing themselves as feminine men before realizing they're women, and still identify with being a feminine man after transitioning. Some trans men start off viewing themselves as butch women before realizing they're men, but still end up identifying as a butch woman.
There are feminine men who think they're trans women only to realize they are still men, and butch women who think they're trans men only to realize they're still women. There are people who end up being both a butch woman and a trans man, and people who end up being a feminine man and a trans woman. You can be both at the same time.
You mentioned feeling like everyone knows the rules but you: that's because there are no rules, and if you approach it thinking that there are some, you are naturally going to feel completely out of your depths and confused. That's the wrong approach, I think learning that there are literally no rules when it comes to queer identities is the most important step to get rid of that confusion. if you're constantly looking for lines in the sand, you begin to create boxes. That's not what these identities are here for, they are flexible, and can be used in a variety of ways that are completely up to the individuals using them. Every queer uses their terms a bit differently, and this is a good thing
Hope that made sense. Good luck figuring things out -K
One of the worst feelings in the world is when you see someone out of the corner of your eye and for a fleeting moment you think that it’s a stunning butch woman, only to look fully at them and realize it’s just a man
Contrastingly, one of the best feelings in the world is when you’re walking towards someone and you’re like “oh great, a man”, and then they turn around and you realize that she’s actually the most handsome butch lady you’ve ever seen before