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3mmafr0st · 3 years

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Hard to Hate Chapter 14

Fred Weasley x Reader Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: the usual, if you’ve seen the rest of the series you’ll know!

Taglist: @intpeach, @aria-dne, @allthebestmenarefictional, @i-should-be-writing-my-own-fic, @weasleytwinswheezes, @a-disappointing-teen-author, @amorist-3, @222moonss, @carmiml0v3, @lilypad-55449, @losers-club6, @hpbitch, @ohwelliguess, More in the Reblog. Ask me if you want to be added to the tag list!

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 15,

Read the Russian translation Here

The next few weeks were tough on me, with the already intense stress of trying to remember all of the work we had been doing before the break, and the drama of what had happened.

Draco was mad at me, upset for leaving, as well as whatever Pansy had been whispering in his ear throughout the month. He hadn’t talked to me since christmas and I hate to say it but I missed him. Even though he was quite brainwashed and could be a little shit, I loved him, he was like a little brother to me.

On top of that, Pansy and her gaggle of bitches were harrassing me whenever they could. Ever since they found my room, the fear that I struck in most of the Slytherin house had all but dwindled. At least before they moved out of my way, but now they just look down on me and I hated it. It felt worse than being feared.

Finally there was Fred. Funny, endearing, and absolutely beautiful Fred. Ever since he and the other Weasley’s returned to the school, he has been cold, distant. It was as if the last few months had never happened, that we had never become friends in the first place. George was still talking to me though. That was my only saving grace.

George and I had decided on the library to hang out that day. Melody didn’t want to study that day, instead opting to hang out with Lee by the lake on a date of sorts.

“I honestly have no clue what’s going on with Fred, but I’m worried.” George told me, his voice nervous.

“Has he been the same with you, he won’t even speak to me.”

“He won’t talk to me about anything, but he’s definitely upset about something. This is the first time that he’s never not told me about what’s going on in his head and I don’t like it.”

“Do you think that he’s really upset with me, I don’t know what I could have done.” I was upset to say the least. I missed Fred so much and yet he wouldn’t even give me the time of day. It was agonizing. I liked him so much, maybe even loved, and yet he pushed me away.

George and I stayed and studied for a while, until the time came where we were to go to our next class, Potions, which we all had together. This was going to be difficult to say the least.

When George and I walked into the classroom, Fred was already there, sitting with Angelina Johnson. George was irritated to say the least, and since I knew Melody would be sitting with Lee, I offered him a seat next to me. I glanced at Fred, and he seemed to be even more grumpy than when we had first walked in. Snape began his lecture, his droaning and nasally voice going on and on. I should be paying attention to the work that we were supposed to be doing, on the lecture at hand. Instead, I was glancing at Fred out of the corner of my eye.

Angelina and Fred were sitting together, laughing and whispering together. I felt something, simmering in the pit of my stomach. I had no idea what the feeling was, but it made me want to tear Angelina apart. I didn’t even know why, I like Angelina! She’s nice and witty and good at quidditch, and well, basically everything I was but better. She was the perfect version of me, one with no baggage, no psychotic family members or racist family history. Who wouldn’t pick her? The burning feeling soon turned to sadness, this lump in my throat that only got worse and worse. George looked at me, and saw as tears began to well in my eyes, fighting to keep them from falling, I couldnt let the other students see me like this, it would push me even farther down the chain of respect and I couldnt have that. George raised his hand, and was called on.

“Professor, Y/N’s not feeling good, do you think I could walk her back to her common room.”

Snape thought for a moment, clearly trying to weigh his biases in his head, before allowing it. As quickly as he could, George walked me out of the classroom, trying to get me a good enough distance from the classroom before my legs gave out under me against the wall, tears falling down my face.

“Y/N, what’s wrong? Tell me.”

“I don’t know, just, Angelina, the two of them, ugh, I feel so pathetic.” I laughed at myself through my tears. “I mean, who would even think I have a chance next to her.” George looked me straight in the eyes, both of us on the floor now, putting his hand on my shoulder to try and reassure me.

“Y/N, if he can’t see that you’re the absolute perfect girl for him, then he’s either blind, or just plain stupid, knowing my brother, its probably a bit of both.” His joke made me laugh, and he handed me a tissue from his pocket.

“Thanks, I just feel so hopeless, yknow? Like, the two of you, and Mel are the only good things right now, and even that's been ruined.”

“Believe me Y/N, I get it more than you know.” His eyes looked far away, kind of wistful and longing.

“So who’s the girl?”

“If I say, it's only going to make it worse.” I thought through all of the different clues, before coming to the most logical explanation.

“Its Angelina, isnt it?” I folded my hands in front of my chest giving him a knowing look.

“Yeah,” He said. “Now I know that you think I’m just saying that because I want her all for myself, don’t you?” I silently nodded, tears starting to prick at my eyes again.

“Well, that’s not true, I’m being serious. If he’s not going to man up, then he must be an idiot.” I didn’t believe him in the slightest, but I pretended to. “Come on, let's head to lunch early, I dont think you want the others seeing you like this when they leave.”

The two of us headed to the cafeteria, simply working on homework at our respective tables, until the rest of the students began pouring into the large hall. I saw Melody walk in, sitting down next to me.

“You feeling better?”

“Honestly, Mels, it's not that kinda sick. It’s just, Fred, yknow?” She silently nodded. She knew all of the events that had happened, or lackthereof. Although she knew about it, she wasnt as involved as George, I mean, she had her own things to do and I understood.

George was sitting close to me, in a way, our backs to eachother, so Mel and Lee could continue their conversation from Potions. I heard heavy, angry footsteps behind me, and I took a peek as to who it was. Fred was angry, but for what reason I couldnt understand. I could hear the conversation from behind me.

“George, can we talk outside for a moment.” His voice was trying to mask his rage.

“Fine” George responded, and Fred walked the two of them outside of the cafeteria.

I tried to stay out of it, I tried to sit there, and eat and talk to Lee and Mel as if nothing had happened, but after 5 minutes, the curiosity got the better of me. What if Fred was finally saying something as to why he was so distant, ignoring me for so long. It was a miserable experience and I just had to know why.

I told Melody that I was going to the bathroom, and then ran off, looking for the two boys.

I walked down the hall, searching around for them, when I heard yelling, two voices that I knew so well. I looked around for a moment, before finding a door that I had never seen in this hallway before. I put my ear up to the door. The voices were muffled, but I could sort of make out what the boys were saying.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Fred, am I not allowed to have friends?”

“You and I both know that it's not just friends.”

“I’m not lying, it’s not my fault that you’ve been being an asshole and pushing us away!” The yells were immediately silenced, replaced with the sounds of skin coming in contact with skin, yelps of pain and growls of anger.

“Alohamora” The lock quickly undid, and I pushed the door open as fast as I could. Fred had wrestled George on the ground, punching him into the floor, as George was trying as hard as possible to gain the upper hand. I quickly wracked my brain for something to separate the two without putting myself at risk before finding the perfect incantation “Relashio!”

The two looked at me, then looked at each other, trying to go at it again, but I quickly cast the Colloshoo hex, sticking both boys’ feet firmly on the ground.

“You too are unbelievable, you know that? You are brothers for Merlin’s sake, what the hell has gotten into you?” George began to speak but I cut him off, I was too angry to listen. “Fred, you need to check yourself this instant, your behavior in the last month has not been that of a friend. Friends are supposed to be kind to each other, supposed to support each other, talk to each other at the very least! Once you’re ready to explain yourself, I'll be in the astronomy tower. George, if he tries anything like that again, you sure as hell better tell me.”

“Can you at least let us go?” George asked, as I opened the door of the mystery room.

“It’ll wear off in an hour, you two need to talk through some things.” I shut the door behind me. I was angry, confused, and upset, all of those emotions culminating in the only way that my body could understand, once again tears began to run down my face. Luckily classes had ended early today, because if not, I would have had to go to a History of Magic looking like this mess. The only thing that I could do was go to the astronomy tower, and hope that Fred had gotten over himself enough to come and talk to me, explain why all of a sudden he was acting like this.

#fred weasley #fred weasley fanfiction #fred weasley fanfic #fred weasley imagine #fred weasly x reader #fred weasley smut #Harry Potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fanfic #Harry Potter fic #Harry Potter Smut #Hard to hate series

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pinkyshy101 · 4 years

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So I got bored and decided to type out a list of the cartoons/tv shows I’ve watched, cause why not! I think this is all I’ve watched, or at least recent enough (I’m thinking like…. 2014/15 onward, when I actively started to watch more cartoons)

It’s kinda long, and I’m kinda rambley, so I’ll put it under a keep reading thing (if I can) so you don’t have to scroll through that if you don’t want to. Idk who will actually read this, but hey maybe it’s an idea of what kind of things I might reblog on here! I’m always taking any suggestions for shows to watch, I love learning about and watching more and more cartoons! So if there’s something I didn’t list as something I watched and you think of be interested, feel free to please recommend it! I may update this with a reblog or an edit or something at some point in the future, idk though. For now, its September 19, 2020, and here’s what I got for ya

This ended up way more rambley than I meant for it to be but I started writing it at maybe 12:30ish am and now its almost 2am when I’m getting ready to post it so oops 👀 I’m not really expecting anyone to read this but hey, it’s something! Read if you wanna know what shows and other stuff I watched lol idc

Cartoons I’ve watched in their entirety (or what’s all aired as of today 9/19/20):

(updated 12/2/20 as starting with ATLA)

Gravity Falls - watched since late 2014

Steven Universe (including the movie and Future) - watched since mid June 2015, right before the second stevenbomb/sworn to the sword (early season 2)

Over The Garden Wall - watched back around when it first came out, can’t remember exactly when but sometime in 2015

Star vs The Forces of Evil - watched the first 2 seasons as they aired, then stopped watching for a while and rewatched the whole show in June 2019

Hilda - watched for the first time in I think October 2018, rewatched in May quarantine

She-ra and the Princesses of Power - watched all 5 seasons about/not even a week after season 5 came out, idk why I waited so long to watch it

The Owl House - started watching it after the grom episode aired, idk why I waited so long to watch it but molly and noelle and everyone was screaming about grom on twitter, so of course I had to watch it then

Kipo and The Age of Wonderbeasts - watched it all in early August, right before I watched The Owl House

Infinity Train - watched the pilot back in 2016, then the first season when it came out, but then I started college and didn’t get the chance to watch the 2nd/3rd season until I decided to watch the whole series (s1 again, 2/3 for the first time) this past week

Ouran High School Host Club - ok I know it’s anime not a cartoon and I can’t see myself reblogging anything from it but it’s literally the only anime I’ve watched more than like 1 or 2 episodes of/the only one I’ve seen in its entirety so I figured eh I’ll mention it

Camp Camp - I almost forgot to mention this one! I started watching it when there was I think only 3 episodes of season 1, so back in 2016, and I’ve loved it since then! I guess this summer’s season couldn’t happen cause of covid.... But I’m still excited for when/if it does eventually come out!

Avatar the Last Airbender

Shows that I’ve partially watched but not completely:

We Bare Bears - I’ve seen the first 2 seasons, maybe some of the third I can’t remember, I watched it when it first came out but I haven’t watched it in a while, so I would probably need to rewatch a bunch of it (I did rewatch I think the first season sometime this year? But it was while working on school projects so I wasn’t giving it my full attention), apparently there’s also a movie now???

My Little Pony Friendship is Magic - I was huge into the brony fandom from roughly 2013ish-2017ish, I’ve seen up to season 8 and a few episodes of season 9, and the 4 equestria girls movies, and the mlp movie; I probably know seasons 1 - 4 the most, maybe a little of 5, 6 and 7 are kinda fuzzy but I’ve seen them, 8 I watched over quarantine (since it’d been a few years since I had watched any of it, I also rewatched bits of 5-7) as well as I think the first episode or so of season 9, but I don’t remember them too well. I watched the movie (the pony one, not eqg) when it came out in theaters, and not too long after that I drifted away from the mlp fandom (tbh I was drifting a little bit before it came out, but I knew I had to stick in there at least until it came out since I had been waiting for so long for it). The equestria girls movies, I saw them all when they first came out (I even saw rainbow rocks in the theater). I think there’s like, half hour shorts or episodes or something?? That’s in the eqg universe?? But I don’t think I’ve seen any of them, and if I have it was probably a really early one a long time ago because I haven’t really kept up with anything after Legend of Everfree came out

Animaniacs reboot - I’ve seen the first 5 episodes and it’s nice!

Shows that I’ve only seen an episode or few of that I (probably) intend on continuing to watch:

Glitch Techs - I saw the first episode! Definitely want to continue it

Rick and Morty - I watched a few episodes of the first season in like March/April quarantine, but I was still dealing with online school at home finishing out last semester then. I think I want to watch this eventually, but I have other shows that I want to catch up on/watch before I’d get to this one

Tangled the Series - idk if that’s the name I’ve seen multiple names but I hope you know what I’m talking about, I saw a handful of episodes from the first season I think sometime around fall 2019, but I’d probably have to rewatch the whole thing

Adventure Time - I’ve never had cable/cartoon network so I didn’t watch this growing up, but I’ve heard really good things about it and seen a bunch of stuff from it (I’d have to be living under a rock to have not seen anything lol) but it’s so long and I just haven’t gotten around to it yet! Well I’ve seen maybe a dozen or so episodes of the first season but it was a while ago so I’d have/want to start over probably

Shows I haven’t started

Amphibia - I’ve heard it’s good! I just haven’t gotten around to it yet

Avatar the Last Airbender - probably next on my list to watch, I’ve been meaning to watch it for years but I haven’t yet, its on Netflix now so that should make it easier to watch and a friend from school made me promise that this would be the next one I’d watch so that’s what I’m doing (I did watch the last 2 seasons of infinity train that night though, since I was really wanting to finish it first… But atla is next) watched it! (updated 12/2/20)

The Legend of Korra - obviously I’m waiting to watch it until after alta, and I’m probably going to watch it right after I finish atla

The Dragon Prince - idk really anything about it other than I think it’s on netflix? and apparently it’s good and maybe gay idk but I’ve heard it’s good thus why it’s on here lol

Black Horseman - idk too too much about this other than apparently it’s good but also kinda depressing. Similarly to rick and morty I want to watch it eventually but its not insanely high on my list

OK KO - don’t know a ton about it other than it’s decent, a step up from r+m/bojack on where I want to watch it but not urgently

Ducktales Reboot - similarly to OK KO, don’t know much about it other than it’s decent, same level of want to watch

Milo Murphy’s Law - saw a couple episodes when it came out, haven’t watched it in forever so if I ever do want to rewatch it I’d have to restart it, not super high on my priority list though

Bee and Puppycat - another one I almost forgot! I don’t know a ton about this but I’ve heard its nice! Plus from what I’ve seen I like the artstyle so 👀 maybe someday

Animaniacs (original) - I started to watch the reboot and I think I want to watch the original eventually! Just haven’t gotten around to it yet

Clone High - listen it’s not that I desperately WANT to watch this, I just have friends who are like, hey, watch this lol it’s apparently not super long so why not

Other non cartoon shows I’ve watched:

Brooklyn 99 - idk when I started watching it, maybe around season 4/5ish? I think sometime in 2018 so idk the season, idk, most of the episodes I’ve only seen once so I couldn’t tell you exactly what happens in every episode but I still like it

Rise - ugh I miss this show, I started watching it after/around when the 3rd episode came out (end of March 2018?), and I don’t think I’ve watched any of it since it ended (mid may 2018) cause its not on any streaming services anymore :/ at least not that I know of but I loved it and would love to rewatch it

Andi Mack - I’d heard it was good but hadn’t watched it after it ended (early august 2019 I think I watched it), haven’t rewatched it since then but it was decent, I mainly watched it cause I had seen clips of gay but yknow it was alright

Sex Education - watched 1st season sometime in 2019, when rewatched it/watched season 2 when it came out January 2020, this is like WAY more mature than like anything on this list but like it has an interesting story

Love Victor - watched first/currently only season when it came out mid june 2017 (how was June so long ago what)

Queer Eye - I’ve seen a couple seasons of it idk I figured why not add it lol

Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist - I think I watched this around when there were maybe a few episodes of season 1 left (well there’s only one season now but still), idk I liked it cause like musicals and stuff idk

Idk what else to add to this section but if I think of anything (to any category on this list) I’ll probably update it later maybe idk (again I’m not necessarily going to be reblogging stuff from all/any of these but like, I figured I’d mention it cause idk)

Musicals:

Another thing I love is musicals, like I’m a design/tech major in college rn so yeah I like theatre lol so I’m going to list some I’ve seen (mostly watched bootlegs of, but I’ll list some professional/tour ones I’ve seen in person)(but if it doesn’t say anything special I probably just watched a bootleg, 2017 was a big year for me and my google drive being filled with bootlegs…) This might not be all of them and I won’t go into as much detail (I hope, I haven’t typed it yet) but we’ll see:

Broadway tours I’ve seen: (I swear this isn’t bragging they were cheap seats way up high lol)

Dear Evan Hansen (May 2019)

Wicked (first professional show I saw, October 2017, haven’t watched a bootleg or anything of it since then and I went in completely blind)

Mean Girls (November 2019, last professional show I saw before quarantine)

Come From Away (September 2019)

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (November 2018)

The Book of Mormon (August 2018, was hoping to again this August but quarantine :( )

Non professional/high school/college/other shows I’ve seen in person/been on crew for (not all of them, but some) (assume I’ve also seen bootlegs/proshots if there are any)

Newsies

Spring Awakening (spot op)

Shrek (props)

Legally Blonde

I’ve seen done way more but I don’t feel like listing them or that they’re anything I’d want go reblog/actively look at fandom content for (that’s not saying it reblog stuff from shrek the musical but still lol)

Other shows I’ve seen only in proshot/bootleg form:

Basically every Starkid show

Spies are Forever

The Solve it Squad

Hamilton

Heathers

Be More Chill (yes I was in that big amalgamation of musical fandom stuff with these and deh in 2017 aaaa)

Falsettos

Beetlejuice

Spongebob

21 Chump Street

Les Mis

Phantom

(Again maybe not necessarily all but some there’s a slight chance I might reblog things about)

Musicals I still need/want to watch/listen to:

The Prom

Six

The Great Comet (not typing it all out)

Hadestown

Waitress

Bonnie and Clyde

Something Rotten

Tuck Everlasting

Again there’s more I want to see I’m sure but I haven’t really watched bootlegs in a while…. Idk feel free to suggest shows tho

Movies I’ve seen/like: obviously I’m not gonna just every single movie I’ve seen but heres a few I like:

The Sound of Music

The Wizard of Oz - these 2 have actually always been my favorite movies since I was little, I can’t dee myself reblogging much of anything about them but figured I’d mention them cause why not

Love Simon

Some but not all Disney movies (I grew up with no cable/mostly just pbs)

Most pixar movies?

I don’t think John Mulaney shows count as movies but eh whatever I’ve seen them on netflix

Idk what else lol I know I’ve seen more movies than this but eh

If anyone actually read all of this... Wow I’m surprised honestly lol have a free cookie or something for your struggles or smth, idk, thanks for reading this though lol I appreciate you (but also slightly worry, this was a lot of words and a lot of rambling)

#long post #me #personal #really long post

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dumbdancemomssideblog · 4 years

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S1E1: The Competition Begins

okie dokie first ever episode of dance moms rewatch starts now :0 i actually remember watching this the very first time it aired on lifetime because i was channel surfing and saw a commercial for it earlier that day. that was the summer between 8th and 9th grade. ah memories... i didnt know what to expect because i did dance when i was a kid but not on a competition team and it was mostly ballet so i was pretty unfamiliar with this whole world.

anyway lets begin. this is probably gonna be a longer post than what i’ll end up writing for the other episodes in season 1 bc the first episode introduces so much info, just a heads up

Act 1: (aside: yes its insufferable to divide this into “acts” when its really just like “segments separated by commercial breaks” but thats how they’re called in actual tv scripts so im just going with that cuz i cant think of a better/easier way uwu)

god this is so fucking early 2010s lmao

i miss these days where they were just talented nobodies from pittsburgh on a low budget reality tv show that nobody even knew would be successful. and the bad hair and makeup but idk if that was also just a 2011 thing lol

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES GREEN SCREEN INTROS IM DYING

the chalkboard !!!! they werent doing the pyramid on the mirror yet

(apparently abby never did anything similar to the pyramid thing but the producers made her and it became a whole Thing on the show and thats why the moms were like wtf is this bullshit the first week)

mackenzie looks like a toddler. chloe is so tiny. theyre the 2 who changed the most physically over the course of the show

i remember watching this for the first time being used to ballet lyrical and jazz but never having done or really seen acro/gymnastics in dance choreo and being SO flabbergasted. i was thinking “a chin stand is not dancing what the actual hell” and yknow what? i was right

melissa: “my boyfriend knows how much i spend on dance because he signs the checks...............hermehhemrherrmehermh” (the most awkward laugh omg)

maddie is wearing a fucking bumpit in her hair i cannot

melissa deadass just said out loud “im here for my daughter im not here to make friends” ok everybody mark that one off on your catty women’s reality tv show bingo card!

camera man accidentally getting in the shot filming right in front of the huge wall-mirror.... what is this, amateur hour? i’ll let it slide since its the first day of filming rehearsal but step it up, boys

aw i forgot about maddie getting sick and crying :/ poor kid

melissa saying “i cant stand a chid that’s sick” sounds so edited like the intonation made it seem to me like they just cut her off mid-sentence i love lifetime

oh this was still when they were wearing normal stuff to class/rehearsal like black leotards bc they werent getting sent a trillion crazy 2-piece dancewear outfits for free yet bc they werent famous, man those were the days

Act 2:

[obligatory b-roll footage of downtown pittsburgh]

the maddie chloe paige trio !!!! this is making me feel so nostalgic

“knees together, paige. you’re bow-legged, you need to fix that”

“you’re tall, you’re skinny, you’re a beautiful girl, you can do better than this. FOCUS” shes like 10 abby what the hell

“people think im tough and i guess i am but i would rather be the one to make your kid cry in the privacy of my studio than at an open-call audition in front of hundreds of people”

okay unpopular opinion alert: i agree with a lot of what abby says about stuff like this but her delivery is flawed, to but it euphemistically, that being said i think the production team of the show and the fame inflating her ego changed all of this somewhere over the course of the second season and its really sad to see :/ i can expand on that thought later tho

aw paige crying bc abby correcting her (but not saying anything personal or out of line, just technique corrections (at based on what we were shown, we dont know everything she said oop)) shes a sensitive kid she never should have been put on this show :(

paige looks exactly like her mom i didnt realize that before

nia and holly were done so dirty throughout the whole series in terms of the narrative the producers set up about nia being the weakest link :/

Act 3:

cathy’s entire involvement in the show from the very beginning was so painfully obviously scripted (or at least heavily staged)

vivi was also done dirty by the show’s narrative and she was only 6 and they presented her as like the butt of the joke bc her mom’s “character” was crazy and also she wasnt good at dance. i wonder how she feels about the show now that shes a teenager hmm. she really seemed not to give a fuck about dance for better or for worse when she was a kid tho so maybe she doesnt care ?

in what universe would an owner of another competitive dance studio bring her own kid to another studio more than an hour’s drive away, AND be under the impression that she could compete with them in a week, especially when they showed the kids’ and moms’ shocked reaction at the start of the episode to having to learn a dance in a week and compete it? like really what is the point of cathy and vivi being a part of this show im so ????

Act 4:

THE MINISTER DAWN OUTBURST HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT THIS

this fight is about 50% of what got them a full season 1 and then things took off from there tbh. the other 50% was the electricity dance but thats a point for next episode..... :)

“you’re a minister act like one” “YOU’RE RIGHT I AM A MINISTER! LET’S PLAY THE BIBLE GAME ABBY, WHEN JESUS SAW THINGS THAT WERE WRONG HE WENT AFTER THEM, AND YOU’RE NOT GOING TO DO THIS TO MY KID” ma’am i think the wrongs jesus addressed were of slightly more importance than a preteen being told she cant take a dance class if shes violating the studio’s dress code

this is so good bc it wasnt staged afaik and there are regular students all throughout the building just STARING at them like lmao what even is going on, so im pretty sure this is real???

regardless, yeah dont wear socks and a tshirt to an acrobatics class, thats common fucking sense

another cameraman-in-mirror sighting, but its hard to think about angles when filming spontaneous drama like this, so i wont count it against them

“you called me fat” (i remember that being in the episode but thats not on the episode available through lifetime on demand that im watching from my moms tv hmmmmmm) “i told you to close and tuck in your two-piece costume, theres a big difference. HOW CAN YOU REMEMBER THAT BUT YOU CAN’T REMEMBER TO TURN YOUR FEET OUT” uh scream

she really called the police on this woman i cannot handle this. can you imagine being a police officer responding to this call?

“we have a parent thats out of control. pardon? no shes doesnt have weapons, just her mouth” iconic

im sorry im still not over the hair and makeup. the flat hair with the side bangs. the black pencil eyeliner applied all the way around the eye. why did any of us think this was a look :( why did we do this :(

Act 5:

they went all the way to phoenix to compete 3 numbers, only 2 of which are shown in the episode.

i think this is the only time they ever went to west coast dance explosion because its an actual competition and they wouldnt allow filming after this lol i think they did go to wcde one weekend in addition to a competition where they were filming but it wasnt shown or mentioned at all

abby not wanting brooke and paige to have a french manicure on stage if theyre the only ones in the group with the french tips is perfectly valid idk why it was framed as some crazy micromanaging shit

i also am really not a fan of the whole “high functioning alcoholic wine mom/crazy stage mom” schtick they were pushing for the first few episodes of this show

in retrospect i feel like so many of the quips in this episode were intentionally fucking crazy just to get the audience engaged enough to want to watch more episodes...

“see those girls down there, those girls with the legs? thats who you’re up against, so step it up”

abby warning them that its dangerous for their little party hats to slip when they’re doing aerials and pirouettes and stuff: “what if you were at radio city music hall and they had the ice rink out and you were doing a side aerial and fell 13 stories down and died, huh?” fantastic point abby thank you for saying that to 5 girls ages 8-12 less than 5 minutes before they went on stage. perfect time for a teaching moment like that :)

i forgot how bad the camera work was in the first few episodes for footage of their performances. like they really didnt think the show’s audience would actually want to watch the kids dance, the producers and editors thought we just wanted to see stage mothers yelling at each other lol

also the mic feed over the music of abby talking to herself giving them corrections while watching them dance on stage.... im so glad they quit doing that. i dont remember them doing it like that for any other episode, i hope im right

this choreo is very basic and its a cute dance i guess but its very cringe in some places and for the first episode this is such a forgettable group routine

their scandalized reaction to placing third and the sad piano music is so funny honestly

and maddies reaction in the interview which was almost definitely fed to her by the producers where shes like “i win all the time i dont really know what its like to LOSE i always win or get runner up” so many of maddies lines from season 1 interviews sound so fake and she was probably too naive to know they were getting her to say that stuff so they could paint her as a conceited brat (she was EIGHT)

the trio costume was so ugly im sorry (is it supposed to be like a 50s pinup bathing suit?) (and the headband thing looks so bad) and also the music is bad but they had no real authority over that bc of copyright stuff

chloe’s headpiece coming forward and the ensuing drama was another moment in the episode that really solidified public interest in the show imho....

“YOU’RE IN THE BAR HAVING A DRINK AND YOUR KID’S HEADPIECE IS FALLING OFF” “it did not FALL OFF it CAME FORWARD it was FINE!!!”

“mistakes happen, we’re human.” “YOU are. mistakes like that dont happen to me”

and then the “next time on dance moms” with the WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE electricity dance, of course. genuinely that was really smart of the producers in terms of structuring things to generate intrigue lol. and obviously it ended up working....

#dance moms #s1e1 #season 1

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vespiiqueen · 4 years

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List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box of the last 10 people who reblogged something from you (if you want !! 💛💖)

Wow I rambled a lot with this but i can't add cuts bc I'm on mobile rn DHSISHSJ sorry :"))))

1. Ik Ik "haha how cringe are you" of me to say, but honestly? Homestuck. Homestuck helped me in a time of need and when i so desperately wanted something to latch onto. Finally, I caved into my friends telling me to read it-- and it's been a blast!! The epilogues / hs^2 make me feel kinda sad though, because so much of what I loved about the original was yeeted through the nine circles of hell and into the trash. I love Y/ffany's (I call her Yippi tho) design, the art is really pretty at times, Harry is a major dork, I LIVE for seeing Vrissy bc honestly?? Her design is 10/10, very early 2000s emo style and I also live for that. Tavros is cute and a nerd and I think that's swell!

But in terms of story and how any of this happens, it makes me sad to see it happen. If Vriska could return as Vrissy, why not OTHER beta trolls? Where's my Eridan fish man, writers?? Give me the boy or perish by my fury.

2. Also super "haha how cringe are you" but,,, murder cats (Warriors), esp the early 2005-2015 amvs and stuff. I remember watching Flightfootwarrior's "I Will Not Bow" Scourge amv for HOurs and having no clue what was happening, but all these edgy kitties were KITTIES! It's introduced me to a lot of music I still listen to to this very day (Imagine Dragons, Young/the entirety of Hollywood Undead, Breaking Benjamin). And yknow what?? This new arc is absolute chaos, but in the good way.

I'm an "OG Fan". I prefer the first arc, The Prophecies Begin, to almost any of the other arcs. I just could never get into the other arcs-- not to say I haven't read them, I HAVE and the Fire Scene was probably one of my favorite moments beside grumpy Jaypaw, god complex Lionblaze, and fear the gods Hollypaw. I thought the build-up for it was SUPER satisfying. Gray Wing is my baby and I fully embellish in the Gray Wing is Silverpelt theory.

This new arc is definitely something new for the universe. While I didn't read aVoS (but I may do that if i can find the files for it), and so I don't know the major events of it other than what I've seen M.A.P.'s (Multi-Animator Projects, for clarification,,, bc unfortunately that term is also something disgusting). There's fucking cat possession and all the Clans questioning their belief system, yo. Shit be on fire.

Also the Imposter is 100% Ashfur, that's canon now, yeah??? Also im sorry but fuck Root x Bristle that's the dumbest shit I have ever seen. Give me Root x Shadow or face the wrath of my dragon plushies.

RiverClan is my Clan and my gov assigned warrior name is Fireshell 🌟🌟

3. As much as I hate the author,,,,, Harry Potter. It's been a major part of my life for as long as I can remember. I can never really remember why, but I've always just loved it- the movies, the books, the extra little merch that would pop up in my local Walmart. Of course my favorite character is Draco Malfoy. I could go on and on and ON about how I think his character arc was SHIT and JKR didn't have the balls to make him a confident gay man that was always implied through the text (at least, my lesbian ass thought it was implied but i may just be projecting, idk). I could ramble about Draco for HOURS and what I think his character SHOULD have been and how his parents are horrible (more specifically, Lucius bc Narcissa [?] Actually showed a few good moments), and a child should never have to pay for their parents sins.

Oh noo, Draco's a villain because he's a victim of major abuse and peer pressure? He's a villain because a literal child can be horrible and they'll always always always stay as a horrible little fiend?? Fuck that. He's a child.

Unlike manchild grease pan Snape, who was a racist piece of shit and shouldn't have became a fucking school teacher but it's okay because he was ~~~in love~~~. No, fuck you, he was a creep. James Potter n Co may have been a little posh bitch to you, Snape, but that's no fucking excuse to continue to bluntly be a little cunt all the way into adulthood. You're an adult who flatly changed your PATRONUS to imitate Lily's. You have no excuse. And Harry went and named his child after you LIKE JESUS CHRIST, DID RON'S SISTER NOT HAVE A SAY IN THE NAMES TOO?????

I also fully adore the idea that Muggles can run into Hogwarts and their patronus can 100% be a made up, fantasy creature. Imagine you learn the patronus spell and suddenly fucking ARCEUS comes from your wand. Imagine learning the spell and CHTULU (i did not spell that right but im so tired) comes from your wand-- an entire ass fucking Lovecraftian, Eldrith horror is just the embodiment of you. What if it was a fucking Homestuck character like Vriska? How fucking METAL would that be?? Hskajssowjjsjs get on it fandom.

4. Hee hee very evident by my url but Pokemon is another major thing of mine. While vespiquen isn't my favorite (that title goes to Hydreigon), it is definitely up there!

I've ALWAYS enjoyed the idea of Pokemon. You run around, training up these fight monsters and collecting them. I remember playing my sister's Ruby version on her flip-up Gameboy. I couldn't even read but I ran around catching god only knows how many of the same pokemon wherever she was. Apparently, I had fought for hours in the same area and leveled her Blaziken up to lvl 50 something and left her lvl 30s in the dust LMAO.

I got my first game when it was Pearl/Diamond. It was Pearl, and it still holds a very fond place in my heart. I could barely read, I could barely write-- I had named my Turtwig something along the lines of "MmorpHy" and my player boy "ZbsibJ". Yes I remember the names slightly. I really didn't get far-- I barely got to the first gym but I was just so happy to play it.

I eventually lost the game, as a 5 year old would do, but I can still vividly remember what was happening when the game arrived. I had just came back from the dentist and was quite tired from fighting the dentist bc I was super scared. Mom suddenly handed me a box and said it was mine-- my overseas (at that time) dad had bought me Pearl and my sister Diamond, because I lost my shit about it when he visited one time.

Well, tdlr, I played it for about five minutes while struggling to stay awake against the loopy gas they made me take. I fell asleep listening to Twinleaf Town's soundtrack. Every time I play a rom of Pearl and I get to where the player's house fades in and I hear that first tune of the song, I get a huge smile on my face and cry-- as.. Weird as it sounds.

A few years later, I had gotten Pokemon Black bc I liked Reshiram on the cover. Now, this one I could actually READ when playing, but I don't remember a lot of things about it. I probably lost this one too, as a 8/9 year old would do. I DO remember, I chose Snivy and my sister chose Tepig (hrmm there's a theme here of grass/fire goin on......) and vibing to the music. I was so amazed by the sprites moving, I just kept getting into encounters to see the sprites move (oh boy, no one tell younger 7-9 y/o me about Zelda......oh wait....)

Playing Pokemon NOW, as a 17 year old """gifted""" chick, I stil have very fond memories. I recently beat Pokemon Black again and GOD the OTS SLAPS. I fucking adore the soundtrack-- the track that plays when you battle a trainer, the low health dings being turned into a legit song that also slaps, the battle! gym leader themes-- and oh my gOd, the legendary theme is amazing? It really tells you just how glorious these pokemon are supposed to be. It's not intimidating like Groudon/Kyroge/Rayquaza's themes. It's not action packed like Palkia/Dialga's is, it's not filled with tension like Giratina/Arceus's is-- but it radiates the GLORY that the beasts portray. And I live for that. (Also, Kyurem's version is my favorite because it glitches in the beginning and that's rly cool)

P/D/P and BW/BW2's stories, imo, are some of the greatest ones. Yeahhh, US/USUM's is cool and I haven't played XY nor SwSh-- but the ones I can find memorable are PDP and BW/BW2. I love N. I love Barry. They're my sons. Ghetsis is fucking terrifying, Cyrus needs a hug. Giratina scared the piss out of me when I was younger, which was NOT helped by Giratina and The Sky Warrior.

I think my favorite movies are the gen 4 ones. The Rise of Darkrai having a tear-jerking theme for such a mysterious pokemon (i still tear up when i hear Ocarion), Giratina being spiteful is a mood and Shaymin was cute, Arceus being angry is also a mood. Yeah, Pokemon 4Ever made me cry my eyes out over Celebi, Mewtwo Returns made me again cry because Mewtwo accepting who he is, I remember how vastly different the BW movies are-

I just. I have a lot of memories with the series, even if Gamefreak and Nintendo kinda do the series dirty a lot (your top-grossing thing and you made That monstrosity for the Switch? How dare you.). It's comforting to be stressed and pull up my roms for the games and to play them. Mystery Dungeon is incredibly fun to play, Pokemon Ranger is really fun with the concept (Shadows of Almia continues to kick my ass to this very day and FUCK the Jungle Relic, I hate the Water Challenge fucking gyarados bullshit). I remember the pokemon I got for MD (I got Time, my sis got Darkness) was Mudkip, if that is any help.

I love my little fictional pixel monsters.

5. Yup, someone told tiny 7-9 y/o me about console games. The legend of Zelda. My first Zelda game was Twilight Princess on the Wii and BOY did I play the fucking SHIT out of that game.

Honestly, looking back and looking at playthroughs now-- I still love TP. Twilight Princess is still one of my top favorite Zelda games-- yes, even after playing OoT, Majora's Mask, Wind Waker, Skyward Sword, the anniversary four swords edition for the DS where you could play by yourself (Nintendo pls bring that back, I don't have friends to play it with ;-;), Phantom Hourglass- ect.

Something about Twilight Princess grabbed me by the head and yeeted me into the world. I can remember playing it for hours with little to no breaks. I, a tiny 9 y/o, had gotten the hang of the controllers and managed to get past the tutorial quite easily. And then, I was launched into the game and I wasn't stopping for NOTHING. Mom and Dad would have to force me to save and get off to go and eat dinner. THAT sucked.

I had done everything on my own up until the first temple, the forest temple. Not where/when you saved the dumb kid, but when you were saving the spirit's light. Theeeeeeennn I got stuck on the fucking Forest Temple for deadass six months straight. I'd play for hours, running around in circles, unable to figure out where to go, and because I didn't grasp the temple's purpose of being that way- I'd get angry and get off. It wasn't until dad looked up a walkthrough and talked me through what I was supposed to do that I learned how to get through temples.

I had gotten to the last little fight with Ganondorf before the Wii broke and i could no longer play. Despite the Wii being broke and we got rid of it, I was ADAMANT on keeping the game, and I kept that game for YEARS. It was an original copy out of a sealed box, and I eventually lost it when I left it accidentally at my now ex-friend's house.

She had a Wii and I went "hey I have a Wii game!" And I brought my Zelda over. Worst fucking choice of my goddamn life. Mom called me to come home and said I couldn't sleep over like the original plan was, and that was it. My ex-friend stashed my Zelda and I never saw it again. And, even if I wanted to-- I couldn't get it back, which makes me upset. We had a BAD falling out. She likely doesn't even remember it's there, or sold it to the local game junkie kid who buys ALL games.

But I still love the game. Midna was amazing, and I loved how snarky she was and she has a very cute design! The game's OST is fucking phenomenal. Midna's Desperate Hour makes me cry bc goddamn it really sells how serious that situation is. I love Hyrule Field's theme in this game. I love the Twilight Realm's song. Zant was fucking hilariously scary. Ganondorf's design in this game scared the piss out of me when I was younger.

Midna and this game's Link and Zelda are def my favorites. Yeah yeah, Sheik is cool and all I Guess but dhsushwishs Midna holds the special place in my heart. She was totally my gay awakening BUT

For other game antagonists, I adore Ghirahim-- let's go you funky little queer-coded villain. Skull Kid was great, I love the entire dynamic of him. Prankster lost soul stumbles upon Majora's Mask and the mask makes him act out due to powers-- which, I actually took very heavy inspiration from for one of my OCs. The moon falling to Hyrule was a fucking terrifying looming threat.

But the game series holds a place, and I've yet to be able to play BoTW-- although, I'm fairly certain I'll like it. The playthroughs I've watched of it are all fairly decent! I just. Gotta save up enough money to buy it haha.

Dang guess I gotta go watch a Twilight Princess playthrough again.

Honorable Mentions:

Avatar: the Last Airbender, specifically Book 3

my OCs definitely make me happy, they're my children and I'd ramble A LOT longer if given the chance WHEEZE

My friends, but I didn't add them here bc it's more fictional stuff, I presume

Baking. I love to bake cupcakes.

Painting is fun. I'm an artist and goddammit im going to use painting as an excuse to make a mess.

Fire. I rly like fire, down to a pyromaniac level. However, i hate the fires that happened to my home town, the Great Smokey Fires of 2016-- THAT pissed me off. How dare you burn mountain landscapes to the ground. Perish.

History. I'm a history nerd.

I'm also a science nerd.

But fuck math, I cannot comprehend math to save my life.

For some reason, I rly like learning how the human body works??? like did you know, organs are actually sticky when touched by a bare hand?? Did you?? How fucking cool is that.

Bakugan. I love Bakugan, esp the DS game. I love my Darkus Leonidas. Give me back the online world, you peasants-- I want my Darkus Dragonoid. (Also fuck all my friends from when I was in kindergarten- my theory that Alice was Masquerade was somewhat correct.)

#admin ace #admin ace speaks #communistvriska #inbox tag #homestuck #warrior cats #harry potter #pokemon #legend of zelda

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hymn2000 · 4 years

Text

Ideal Confusion - MCU AU Fanfic - C8

(Title subject to change)

Story summary: Giving into the constant pressure from the press, Tony decides to put a rest to the rumours that Peter is his biological son - once and for all.

Previous Chapter(s): 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Part of my Frostiron and Spiderson series.

Warnings/themes: family, family stuff, adoption, DNA test(s), pressure, peer pressure, social issues, mentions of alcoholism, mental health problems, potentially some minor medical inaccuracies, mentions of corporal punishment, hurt/comfort

You can also find me on AO3

Chapter 8 - Yellow, Blue, Green and Grey

Peter fully expected a difficult few days to follow, but then he was woken up by the sound of his parents... being active... in the next room. He couldn’t help feeling just a little bit relieved. But more than that, he was grateful that he kept his earphones so close to his bed.

Things seemed to go back to normal for a few days. Being technically grounded, Peter stayed in, and somehow, by watching DVDs, staying off the internet, and spending a lot of time taking advantage of everything the house had to offer, he managed to completely ignore the papers and news stories still circulating about him and his family. He tried to keep himself busy, because otherwise he’d get bored and start doing strange things, which would often get him into trouble.

Peter spent Monday morning down in the challenge area of the pool. It seemed to change every time he went down there, and it was a great way to kill a few hours. It was easy to get really into it, so it was really quite a shock when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, hey, stop screaming! It’s only me!”

“You can’t just sneak up on me like that!” Peter shouted. “I nearly wet myself!”

“Well, it’s the best place to do it: no one would be able to tell” Tony grinned.

Peter scowled and splashed him. He sat down heavily on the rock ledge, paddling his feet in the water.

“My hearts still thumping”

Tony sat down beside him. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I didn’t realise how hard you were concentrating”

“It’s weird seeing you down here. Especially actually in the pool, and not just on the side shouting at me”

“Aw, that’s not fair!”

“It is! You always put on that nasty coach persona and get me to do lengths and stuff, and then we always end up in an argument and usually daddy has to come down and sort everything out”

“Well, ok, maybe that’s true” Tony admitted. “...Hey, if we do decide to homeschool you, we can find you a swim team nearby. They’re not all school-based, you know: I’ve checked”

“Yeah... I don’t even like the swim team I’m a part of now” Peter said awkwardly, looking down at his hands. “I wouldn’t worry about it...”

“You’re gifted, kiddo” Tony said. “You’ve got more medals and trophies than anyone else at your school - and probably most schools. You could go professional. Olympic Swimmer Peter Stark, eh?”

Peter shook his head. Tony sighed.

“...Why did you come down here, dad?”

“Oh. I had a phone call from Dr Manning”

“Oh right. So you’ve been excluded, then?”

“No, he didn’t tell me the results - although obviously we know what they are - he just said he wants us to go in and talk to him, the whole family”

“What? Why?”

“He didn’t say”

Peter was quiet for a moment. “...What if they found something while they were doing the test, dad? What if I’ve got some weird marker that puts me at higher risk of developing some physiological condition or some illness or something, like, what if there’s something in my family history that means I’m gonna get really ill or something?!”

“Hey, hey, don’t act so worried!” Tony put his arms round Peter, hugging him close. “If there was anything nasty in your family history, you’d know about it. Shhh! Oh sweetheart, don’t cry!”

“I’m not crying!”

“What’s this then?” Tony said, dabbing at the tears on Peter’s cheek.

“Nothing...” Peter mumbled.

“Sweetheart, it’s ok” Tony said, kissing him firmly on the nose. “I’m sure it’s nothing like that. Like I said, you’d know if you were at risk of something because of your bloodline. I would too... There’s nothing in my bloodline, by the way, so don’t go worrying about that either. No, Dr Manning probably just prefers giving results face to face”

“But why has he said daddy has to go too?”

“Emotional support? I don’t know. Even though we know what the result is gonna be, it’s still a bit nerve-wracking going to the doctors. It’s not really somewhere you go for fun, is it?”

Peter shook his head slightly. “I get all nervous about it even when I know I’m going for a blood test or something simple. Or when I go to the dentist... Daddy’s good at staying calm in those situations though, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, he is” Tony said. “You know, I think he likes it. Even before he started at the hospital, he never seemed bothered by medical environments - quite the opposite, in fact”

“Maybe it makes him feel safe” Peter suggested. “Like, yknow, everyone being there to look after you or whatever”

“I think you’re probably right. We had some weird days early on where he was in a really bad mood, like, cross or upset or whatever, and he’d completely mellow out as soon as he was in the doctors office. He’s a strange one, your father”

“I think I’m ok with strange”

“Good, because you’re strange too. And so am I” Tony kissed his nose again. “I think we need to get out of the pool now. Go and have a shower and get dressed and get something to eat before we go out. Ok?”

“Mm... I don’t suppose I’ve got a choice, have I?”

“‘fraid not, kiddo. Come on; let’s go up the big slide and have a grand finale, ok?”

“Ok. But we can’t get to it from here, can we?”

“Sure we can! We just need to do that little puzzle first”

Peter looked back at the puzzle he’d been working on. “But that just leads to the caves, and they only lead to the fairy pool”

“That’s what you think! Jesus, Peter, I thought you’d’ve explored every nook and cranny of this place by now. Right, budge up: I’ll do this puzzle for you and then I’ll show you how to get to the big slide from the caves”

Peter watched Tony. He finished the puzzle in a matter of moments, and the hidden door in the wall opened.

“Are you sure you’re right about this?” Peter asked. “I mean, what if you’ve remembered wrong? You never really come down here”

“I designed this whole thing, remember? I know what I’m doing. Now go on”

Peter did as he was told. Tony followed after, and the hole closed behind them. Peter sat for a moment on the damp stone, looking at the uneven ceiling and the water dripping down the wall, all illuminated by the dim fairy lights dotted about. If he was quiet, he could hear the distant gentle harp music playing.

“...I like this bit” Peter said. “It’s good to come here and think. I fell asleep down here once”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It was a long time ago, back when May was still alive. It was one of my weekends here. You were down in the front pool for a bit but then you had to go out, and daddy Loki was upstairs and I was tired when I reached this bit and just kinda sat down and fell asleep” Peter remembered. “I don’t know how long I was asleep for, but it was long enough to make daddy worried. He looked pretty scared when I went back upstairs after I woke up. He got a bit cross with me”

“Oh dear. What did he say?”

“I don’t really remember. Something about thinking I’d run away and that he was about to call you when I showed up. He didn’t get too angry though” Peter said. “He just tripped me up and said I needed an early night”

Tony laughed slightly. “He was always tripping you up back then. You never really seemed to mind but May went mad when she saw it happen”

“Oh yeah, she was soooo cross! She proper shouted at daddy, didn’t she?”

“She certainly did! He was a little surprised by it. Still, I suppose it had the desired effect. He stopped tripping you pretty soon after that, didn’t he?”

“Well, mostly” Peter said. “I think I had a bit of an argument with her about it cos I felt like she was overreacting. But I guess I can see why she got so angry”

“Yeah. To be honest, I never liked it either. If it had hurt or upset you I’d’ve intervened, but you usually just laughed and jumped up again”

“Yeah... You know, he’s tripped me accidentally a few times, and I’ve been hurt from that. So maybe May wasn’t really overreacting”

“I can imagine how that conversation went down” Tony said, raising an eyebrow. “Right, we can’t really hang about here all day”

Peter pouted. “I like it down here”

“I know, kiddo, but we’ve got places to be”

Peter sighed, but nodded. “Can we come back down here when we get back from the doctors?”

“Sure, I don’t see why not” Tony said. “Let’s go to the slide”

“Right!”

Peter looked around the cave. He could see the pathway which led to the other caves and the fairy pool, but there was nowhere else they could go.

“Uhh... So we go down there, right?”

“Nope” Tony said. “You can get to it from here”

“How? There’s no openings or puzzles or anything!”

“Is that so? Look at these” Tony tapped a small but thick plastic panel on the ground, illuminated by a pale light under it.

Peter looked. There was a few of them, leading to the next cave.

“What about them? They’re just showing the path, aren’t they?”

“Nope. Look, all of these ones are yellow, right?”

Peter glanced at them. “Well, aside from that pink one in the middle”

“There you go, that’s your first clue”

Peter furrowed his brow and went over to the pink one. He tapped it cautiously, as though it could make the floor collapse beneath them.

“...I don’t get what I’m supposed to be doing here”

Tony smiled, moving over to be beside him. He traced the edges of the panel, and then pushed on one side of it. The panel flipped up, revealing a strange key like that of a wind up toy.

“Oh! What..?”

“Give it a twist, then!”

Peter turned the key, and there was a low rumble. Peter looked at the wall behind him.

“Umm...”

The rumble continued, and as Tony replaced the panel, a square of the wall behind them opened up.

“Alright, in you get” Tony said.

“What? No way! It’s dark in there”

Tony laughed. “Just go. Be careful though”

Peter took a deep breath, pulled himself up and climbed through the hole - and fell a good couple of feet, landing with a splash in a shallow puddle of water. As he did so, the hole in the wall closed.

“WAIT, DAD!!”

It was pitch black. Peter could hear the sound of the water, and soon the rumbling he’d heard back in the cave. He put his hands out, trying to figure out where to go, but the ceiling above where he lay was so low he couldn’t even sit up, and his senses were starting to go into overdrive.

“DAD!!!”

The hole in the wall above opened again, and Tony’s head appeared.

“Hey, kiddo, it’s ok! You’re perfectly safe”

“I don’t feel it! Where am I supposed to go? I can barely move in here and it’s all dark!”

“The low bit is only about half a metre wide, kiddo. You just need to shuffle yourself along and you’ll hit the sensor and the lights will go on in the next bit, ok? There’s a bit of a drop at the end so be ready or that”

“What if they don’t come on?!”

“They will, believe me. Get a move on, kiddo; we haven’t got all day”

Peter still felt unsure.

“Hey, sweetheart, I can’t come down to join you until you move”

Peter’s heart was thumping so hard he could feel it in his throat.

“I don’t like it. Can’t I come back up?”

“Nope: we’re going forwards, not backwards! This is the quickest way out. Start shuffling, fella. Come on; this is nowhere near as scary as a mission!”

Peter swallowed hard and did as he was told. It was awkward, but as he started moving he realised there was a lot more space than he’d originally thought, and soon a light came on to his right. He still had a little while to go, and the sound of water was getting louder. He squeezed his eyes shut and focused on moving - and let out a little squeak as he slipped down a little slope and landed in a little pool filled with what looked like gold coins. He paddled further in and scooped up a handful. They were almost certainly plastic, but they looked surprisingly real.

It was a funny little round pool, only about three metres across. It was very warm, and it felt very much like being in a bowl. There were a number of shaped doors in the walls, all with little buttons beside them which Peter presumed opened them. They all had signs above them, but before Peter could read them, Tony slipped into the pool with him.

“Hey, kiddo” Tony sat up and gave him a little cuddle. “Are you alright? You seemed pretty riled back there”

“I was scared”

“You’re perfectly alright. Come on; we want this door here” Tony said, pulling himself up onto a ledge by a door marked ‘To the skies’.

“What are all these other doors?” Peter asked, looking around. “To the trees, to the seas, to the-”

“Peter, sweetheart, come on”

“Aww, I don’t wanna go to the doctors! Can’t you call him to reschedule while we stay down here and explore?”

Tony laughed. “No, sweetheart. We can come back down here some other time. Come on”

Tony held a hand out, and Peter let himself be helped up onto the ledge. Tony pressed the button to open the door, and inside was a large square slab with a thin gap round the edge.

“Umm...”

“Hey, don’t worry: you can fit three grown men on this thing, so me and you are no problem” Tony said.

“It just looks like a tiny room”

“Oh, ye of little faith” Tony said, climbing through the door and sitting down.

Peter sat close against him and Tony pressed a button inside to close the door. He pressed a button on the slab they were sat on and it started moving upwards. Peter squeaked a little.

“Oh, it’s a lift! I didn’t expect that”

“Yeah, pretty good right?”

“You know, I think this is exactly what having money is all about. This swimming pool is like a whole other world inside our house”

“I’m still pretty damn proud of it. It was horrendously expensive to make, mind you”

“I bet” Peter said. “How much does it cost to maintain?”

“Never you mind!” Tony said. “...Well, actually it’s not expensive. We’ve got the outside people who do a lot of the servicing and extra stuff to it, but it’s fitted with a hell of a lot of things that self-clean and maintain. The company has it all mapped out and they have easy access routes. They get a good wage for it, but it’s not a massive dent at all”

“Oh right. It’s all eco then”

“Pretty much. Plus Loki put some kind of weird spell on it that basically preserves it in this state. I don’t ask too many questions about his magic. There’s no way I’d understand it even if I did”

Peter nodded, and there was a ding as the slab stopped moving. The door here opened automatically. It was smaller than the one at the bottom, so they had to crawl out. Peter stood up when they were both out, surprised to find himself at the top of the big slide, but even more surprised to find that he’d just crawled out of the big metal block with the slide control panel on top.

“Oh fuck”

“Peter! Don’t swear!”

“Sorry. That’s so weird; I thought it was all just regular machiney stuff there. Wow... Well, it explains why I never noticed there was fourth way up here”

“Well, now you know. Now get yourself down the slide”

“You can go first”

Tony gave him a look. “I’m not sure I trust you not to run back into the caves when I’m halfway down. After you”

“I can’t believe you don’t trust me” Peter said, pretending to be hurt. “Alright, I’ll go first. See you at the bottom”

“I always find this a bit surreal” Peter said when Tony splashed into the front pool with him. “This bit is like any other pool. Just by looking, you can’t tell there’s so much going on back there”

“It does feel a bit like returning from another world” Tony said. “I sometimes think we need to use this more. But I guess life gets in the way”

“Yeah...”

“Alright, come on: shower time”

Peter felt pretty exhausted, but happy too, so he didn’t protest. The changing rooms and showers were just like any public swimming pool, which he pointed out.

“Why did you get these showers?” Peter asked, pressing the button again. “When you press the button they only run for about thirty seconds. These have to be the most stressful showers you can have”

Tony laughed. “No, stressful is that shower in the green bathroom that genuinely only has a one millimetre margin between boiling, just right, and freezing”

“Good job no one uses that one then” Peter said. “Hey, that’s my shower gel!”

“Well forgive me for not bringing my own down” Tony smiled. “As for your question, you’re not allowed to complain about these showers: they’re authentic and they do the job”

Peter giggled. “Whatever you say”

After they’d showered they went to get changed.

“Why do you always just put your clothes in a heap down here? Don’t they teach you anything at that expensive school?” Tony sighed. “I put pegs and towel racks down here for a reason, you know”

“Stop fussing. I’ll hang them up next time, ok?”

“You’d better do!” Tony shook his head. “Don’t be too long getting dressed, ok? We need to get you fed before we go”

Peter nodded and sauntered into his favoured cubicle. After that excursion, he was definitely ready for his lunch.

Peter had his lunch quite happily, and then promptly fell asleep on the sofa in the living room.

“Aww, he’s asleep!” Tony said. “I don’t want to wake him up”

“Well, if you fancy trying to get a coat and shoes on a sleeping teenager, and then carrying him down to the car, then that’s your prerogative” Loki said, pulling his own coat and shoes on. “We do need to get going soon”

“Yeah, I know” Tony sat down next to Peter and gave him a little shake.

Peter didn’t seem too annoyed about being woken up.

“Hey kiddo” Tony said. “You ok?”

“Yeah, I’m ok” Peter said, sitting up properly and rubbing his eyes. “Are we going now?”

“Soon, yeah” Tony said. “You should go and get your shoes and coat”

Peter nodded. “Ok”

“Good boy” Tony kissed him on the cheek. “Go on then. Don’t take too long”

Once Peter was out of the room, Tony noticed that Loki was watching him.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing”

“Don’t you ‘nothing’ me! What is it?”

“I was just watching you together” Loki said. “You’re so cute sometimes”

“Well, what can I say? He’s such a good little kid. I love him”

“I know” Loki smiled. “Any plans for when we get back?”

“Yeah, I think we’re gonna go and mess about in the pool for a bit. Would you believe there’s bits he hasn’t discovered yet? It’ll be fun. And then maybe I’ll get on to Marco about releasing a statement saying that we’ve done a DNA test and proved I’m not the natural father or whatever. I don’t know; depends how long we’re downstairs for” Tony said, wandering off in his thoughts for a moment. “...You could join us?”

“I think I’ll leave you two to it. I think it’s a good idea, especially since you’ve had quite a few arguments lately... It’s good to see you’re back to normal now”

“Mm. Thanks”

“It’s meant as a compliment, darling”

“I know” Tony stood up. “Well! I’m gonna be the one holding all of us up if I don’t go and get my stuff on! Time to get a move on”

Loki offered to drive, but Tony said it’d help calm his nerves if he had the road to focus on.

“I don’t get why I’m so nervous” Peter said, lounging in the back seat. “It’s not like we don’t know what Dr Manning’s gonna say”

“I know, chick” Tony said. “I’m mega nervous too! You know how it is, like, when your heart starts going and you feel hot and cold at the same time, and slightly shaky and slightly hollow all over?”

“That’s how I feel too” Peter said.

“It’s probably just because you know it’s a doctors surgery” Loki said calmly. “It’ll be over before you know it”

“I know, but that doesn’t help my nerves now” Peter said.

Tony reached back, squeezing Peter’s knee. “You’re alright, kiddo. You’ve got both of us with you. And like you said; it’s not like we don’t know what to expect”

Peter cuddled up close to Tony in the waiting room. Tony held him tight, stroking his hair and kissing his face and talking quietly to him. Loki leant against Tony’s shoulder on the other side and went through his messages while they were waiting to be called in.

“Can we go and get a takeaway after this?” Peter asked.

“Ooh, maybe. Depends if you’re good or not” Tony teased. “What do you fancy?”

“I don’t really know” Peter said. “I just want something hot and greasy and potentially bad for me”

Tony laughed slightly. “Good job we live in America then, fella! We’ll find you something suitably delicious and hot and unhealthy” he lowered his voice slightly. “Something daddy will totally disapprove of!”

“I heard that” Loki said.

Tony and Peter just laughed. A door opened.

“Misters and Master Stark?”

“Oop, that’s us” Tony said, giving Peter a little pat and standing up.

He took a deep breath. Those blasted nerves! Ah well. It would all be over soon.

“You know, you could have just given us the results over the phone or through an email” Tony said as they sat down in Dr Manning’s office.

“I thought it best I see you all face to face” Dr Manning said, sitting down behind his desk. “How are you today?”

“Good” Tony said, giving Peter’s hand a squeeze. “Well, we’re all a bit nervous, I think. Appointments always get my nerves going a bit, even when I know what to expect”

Dr Manning looked at the three of them: Peter in the middle, with Loki to his left and Tony to his right. Despite their fairly obvious nerves and the pressure they’d been under lately, they looked very much the picture of a happy family. Just the same as usual.

“Well, you know why you’re here” Dr Manning said, shuffling the papers on his desk. “Of course, a few days ago we took samples for a paternity test, and we’ve had to results back”

“A little sooner than expected, I must say” Loki said.

“Well, it is nearer the minimum day to the maximum, I admit”

“I didn’t realise they’d work over weekends” Loki said.

“Hey, hey, as much as I love the friendly atmosphere, can we not beat about the bush all day?” Tony said, not unkindly. “We all know why we’re here; we know what we did; we know Peter’s not my- uh, flesh and blood - so let’s just look at the proving papers, and then we can get the papers off our backs, ok?”

There was a small silence. Dr Manning picked up a letter and unfolded it. He held it out to Tony.

“You should read this”

Tony smiled slightly and shrugged. He reached forwards and took the paper from him. He cleared his throat and looked at the letter.

...An analysis of the DNA profiles of Anthony Edward Stark and Peter Benjamin Parker-Stark determines that the alleged father cannot be excluded as the biological father of the tested child. Based on the analysis, the probability of paternity is 99.99999999%.

Conclusion: Based on our analysis, it is practically proven that Mr. Anthony Stark is the biological father of the child Peter Parker-Stark...

As he read, Tony’s face fell. All of a sudden he felt hot, but as though he was breaking out in a cold sweat. He read through the letter again, and then flipped to the next page, looking at the DNA Paternity Test Report, scanning the first row: Mother (Not Tested), Child, Alleged Father; glancing at the numbers, and finding the conclusion at the bottom:

Statement of Results: The alleged father cannot be excluded as the biological father of the tested child. Based on the analysis of STR loci listed above, the probability of paternity is 99.99999999%. In conclusion, the alleged father IS the biological father of the tested child.

“Dad?”

Tony slowly raised his head and looked at Peter, almost staring at him, not knowing what to think, what to feel.

“Dad? Are you ok?”

“Tony, what’s the matter?” Loki said, recognising the look on his husbands face.

When Tony looked at him but didn’t say anything, Loki reached across and snatched the letter.

“Well, thanks doc, I’m gonna go and wait outside” Tony gabbled, hoarsely, and he stood up and rushed out of the office.

“Dad!?”

Peter wanted to run after him, but Loki put a hand out to stop him. Peter looked at Dr Manning, who was a blank-faced as a statue, and then he looked at Loki. Loki read through the letter again.

“Daddy, what is it?” Peter asked desperately, starting to feel seriously strange and shaky inside.

Loki looked at Peter, the expression on his face a toned-down version of the one Tony had had. Loki opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it without a word. Peter glanced at the letter Loki held, which was flipped to the second page. Peter grabbed it, and nobody stopped him from doing so.

He glanced at the table, but focused on the box near the bottom.

...Based on the analysis of STR loci listed above, the probability of paternity is 99.99999999%. In conclusion, the alleged father IS the biological father of the tested child.

Peter turned the page back and read the letter on the front. He looked at it in silence for a minute or two, not sure what to think, what to feel. He slowly set the letter down on Dr Manning’s desk.

“I’m sure you can understand why I wanted to see you all in person” Dr Manning said gently. “I understand this is a shock for you. Tony especially, considering... Well”

“A small part of me would love to dispute this” Loki said slowly. “But I understand how these tests work, and... I think perhaps I’m not so surprised as I should be”

Peter shot him a very uncertain look, but quickly looked away. Even without looking at the letter, he could still see those vital words before his eyes: The alleged father IS the biological father of the tested child. His brain didn’t seem to be working properly. How was he supposed to feel about this? How was he supposed to react? What did this mean, exactly? He wasn’t entirely sure how to work it out. Not on his own, anyway...

“...I want dad”

Loki took Peter’s hand, giving it a squeeze and kissing the back of it.

“Perhaps we should see each other again in a few days” Dr Manning said. “Once you’ve all had some time to adjust to this”

“Perhaps that’s a good idea... I take it we can keep that” he said, nodding toward the letter on the desk.

“Of course”

Dr Manning folded the letter and handed it to Loki, who put it carefully in his pocket. He had a feeling the rest of the day wasn’t going to be plain sailing.

Tony was waiting by the car, and he was looking somehow blank, worried and shocked all at the same time.

“Dad!” Peter rushed over to him. “Dad, what-”

Loki took him by the shoulders and moved him back.

“Hey! Dad, c-”

Loki shushed him. Tony wouldn’t look at either of them; just turned his head away, biting his thumb.

“Peter, get in the car”

“But-!”

“Don’t argue; just do as you’re told”

Peter didn’t look happy, but he sensed this wasn’t the time to argue, so he did as he was told. Once the car door was closed, Tony looked at Loki.

“You’re shaking” Loki said simply.

Tony shook his head. “...This isn’t happening”

“It is, and it has, and we know it” Loki said gently. “We just need a little time to get used to this new development. You especially”

Tony swallowed, trying hard not to give in and cry. “I don’t know what to do-!”

“You don’t have to do anything” Loki said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “There’s nothing to do, and certainly nothing you can do. It is what it is”

“What about now?! What am I supposed to do now?!”

“Stay calm, for a start” Loki said. “Shh, come on. Don’t shout at me for saying this, but you’re ok”

Tony didn’t say anything, but he put his hand over Loki’s on his shoulder.

“We should be getting home”

“I can’t” Tony whispered. “I can’t drive, not after...”

“Darling, you-”

“You drive!” Tony grabbed his keys and pressed them into Loki’s hand. “Please. Please, you-... Please. I can’t. I can’t”

Loki searched Tony’s face. He sighed and nodded.

“Ok”

The journey home was far from comfortable. Peter knew speaking wouldn’t be a good idea, so he curled up on the back seat and pretended to be somewhere else. Tony sat in the front, staring into space and biting his thumb and trying not to give in to tears. Loki focused on the road. Whatever he was feeling, he knew it was painfully obvious who was in the worst state right now. And he knew who was going to need the most looking after - and it wasn’t the same person.

#my writing #fanfiction #mcu fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #frostiron #irondad and spiderson

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scarlettlawyer · 5 years

Text

Part 11 of my reaction/commentary to the Phantoms & Mirages Saga, the fanfic series by @renegadewangs

(Chasing Phantoms): Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

(Haunted Specters): Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

(Vanquishing Mirages): Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

Vanquishing Mirages / Lifting Spirits: Part 10

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 1

At the very least, he could rest easy knowing that his first motorcycle lesson hadn’t been a complete disaster. The future looked promising.

ANY future looks promising when it has Motorcycle Simon in it

“Here, I brought you a sandwich.” “Is it chicken?”

Blackquill: [known bird lover, intense lover of birds pouring over bird documentaries in his spare time and cherishing Taka with all his heart]

The boy who would become the phantom, the moment he is presented with a sandwich: iS IT CHICKEN?

“But… People die when they are killed.”

ASDJHSDBKJS

A+ DIALOGUE THANK YOU I LOVE IT. GOOOSH I’M. SOMEBODY needs to compile a list of things this same person has said in this series. The above line. The courtroom jokes, the irony line… the “I’m aroace” line… The other things he said to intentionally turn Bobby against him post-phantomquill kissbait, throw in a bunch of other Lex lines too. The RANGE. THE SHEER RANGE. You could just do a list like that, show it to someone and be like “Yeeeaahh so ALL of these are essentially said by the same character in different stages of his life.”

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 2

Finally, there was a knock on the door and Lang led the way into the room. He looked irritable. He’d been giving off that air since before the surgery. Lex had a suspicion on what might be causing such irritation, but kept it to himself. Lang wouldn’t take his advice on matters like that anyway.

“Matters like that” I’M FGLKFGLKNGF

OKAY ALSO

I SOMEHOW MISREMEMBERED THIS AS BEING SOMETHING HE THINKS BACK BEFORE THE SURGERY BUT EITHER WAY IT’S JUST. GOLD.

The phantom – or the former phantom – Lex just sitting there doing his best to refrain from giving out romantic advice.

Someone younger than he’d expected. This man couldn’t be older than thirty- probably hadn’t even reached that age yet. […] this guy looked rather meek. He was lean; the sort of physique that made it seem like a strong gust of wind could blow him off his feet. His black hair was smoothed back with copious amounts of gel and his face bore overly kind features. A few sheets of paper and a notebook were clutched firmly under his right arm. Coupled with his neat black suit, dark blue tie and thick-rimmed glasses, he looked more like a door-to-door salesman than a therapist.

GEEEEE MEOWZY, GEEEE, SUCH DESCRIPTION, I WONDER IF HE’S AN IMPORTANT CHARACTER OR ANYTHING sdjnksdfknl.

Okay but back when I read this 1st time I was like. Well I seriously didn’t know WHY the hell this guy needed such a strong narrative focus on what he looked like. Like. “He’s the therapist. That’s all we need to know. He’s not important! Why do we care what he looks like! Why does it matter!” askjbsdkjnedskj just felt SO excessive just annoying that the narrative felt like it Cared so much about a random therapist character DFKDFKJ GOD I WAS A FOOL

AND ALSO UHHH

Like yes this fic post-bait was still promising and as superb as ever and had thrilled me with things like the music-listening thing BUT. I need you to understand that I was still very hurt over Fake Phantomquill and therefore, REALLY not in the mood for getting to know Sudden New Characters. The intense goodwill I’d built up for this series over three fics had been largely derailed at this point. I just… didn’t really care all that much about giving new characters a chance thanks to that new apathy. That, and the fact that this series genuinely felt like it was reaching the end at this point, with all of the Major Players already introduced. So how could any important character POSSIBLY show up now? Coupled with how Done I was after the phantomquill bait. SO YKNOW. Idiot that I am, I kind of breezed over the above paragraph a little impatiently without really taking anything in, like I read it but didn’t really ABSORB it or incorporate the physical description into how I pictured the character. I was just like “yeah ok he’s the therapist moving on? What’s next?” (BENNY I’M SO SORRY I WAS VERY MEAN). So yeah, my foolish logic: “series is almost over, all the important characters are introduced, therefore no character introduced at this point could possibly be important, therefore I don’t need to care about or pay attention to anyone new.”

…Like okay, I knew the story wanted me to see this new character as someone important and therefore pay attention to them, but I couldn’t understand why and therefore intentionally failed to pay much close attention almost out of spite.

But like. God. If I had actually bothered to take in anything about that physical description I would have actually NOTICED how handsome he is right from the start. Joke’s on me!

“[…] a person who’s supposed to have no emotions is incredibly interesting.”

[…]

Such an odd point of view was another thing that took Lex by surprise. All his life, people had called him a monster. A freak. A heartless robot or a demon. A Phantom. No one had ever considered his emotional state to be interesting. No one had ever considered it an honor to be sitting across from him. Who in their right mind would?

WHY WOULD YOU CALL ME OUT LIKE THIS

HELLO. SDKJNSFKJNSDKJ. ALSO THANK YOU SOMEONE ACTUALLY AGREES HOW INTERESTING THE LACK OF EMOTIONS THING IS.

But this is so funny it’s like the fic is takign aim at the fangirls. Me, a phantom fan: Hah… Yes… Who in their right mind would consider it an honour to be sitting across from him.. sdkjsdkjdsf

(Okay, that angle didn’t occur to me on 1st readthrough but now I’m just jokingly like “I feel so attacked” HAHAAH)

Most of the focus had been on Lex’s physical health and the way he was being treated, both on a medical level and on a personal level. Emotions could affect the body and Lex had to admit that recovery from his surgery was still going at a slow pace.

OH MY GOOOOOD FUUUUUDGE TH. BENNY IS SIZING HIM UP HE’S ASKING THOSE KINDS OF QUESTIONS FOR A REASON. GOD DAAAMN IT BENNY… Knowing the way he is being treated medically, things like that, can make it just that little bit easier! To! Make an attempt on his life! I’M

TFW u do ur job as a therapist but also as an assassin simultaneously.

No one else stopped by his room for hours on end. Not until it was time for the guard shift to rotate and Bobby Fulbright came strolling inside. Over the past week, it’d become painfully obvious that the Phantom’s attempt to crush the man’s cheerful attitude towards him had failed. That Bobby was still as overbearing as ever, acting as if that little incident involving Simon Blackquill hadn’t happened.

Idiot spy underestimated the power and strength of just HOW MUCH Bobby cares about him.

“Hahaha, that’s just like him.” Bobby nudged the wrapper towards the bin with his foot. “And just so you know, he’s single.”

BOBBY NO. THAT IS HIS THERAPIST. THAT IS YOUR THERAPIST,

Lex made sure to shoot Bobby the most emotionless expression he could still bring his face to ease into. It was funny how the surgery had messed with even that much. “It isn’t too late for me to end your life, you know.”

SDJKSDFNKJSDFKLNSDLNKSDLKN this & him saying this is so funny SEND HELP

The mark of Shelly de Killer.

OH. OKAAAY. I’D FORGOTTEN THAT THE FIRST ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT TAKES PLACE ON THE SAME DAY. BENNY WASTES NO TIME AT ALL… And it makes sense I mean. He got the info he needed to go ahead, so why wait? Oh my god..

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 3

…It’s terrible how much I kind of enjoyed Lex’s sudden downturn; what essentially was the prelude to and then became a vomit scene just because This man used to be the Unshakeable Phantom! LOOK AT HIM NOW. >:D

Plus he starts off soooo arrogant and overconfident at the beginning of the chapter as well before Lang is just like. “Lol. Looks like you didn’t actually kill Shelly and he’s after you.” Making the rapid nosedive that follows even more… It feels kinda weird to say “amusing”, but… IDK MAN THERE’S JUST INHERENT NARRATIVE APPEAL IN THIS LEVEL OF WEAKNESS AND VULNERABILITY AND WHAT HAVE YOU ON DISPLAY after a bout of confidence no less, from this character with this history specifically. Any other character and I’d be appropriately squicked out/feeling bad. I CAN BE VERY MEAN TO MY FAVE.

Also, “prayers to the porcelain god” is actually SUCH a good euphemism. Somehow… If I ever get the chance… I want to see if I can work it into saying it in real-life at least once. I don’t see any such opportunity arising anytime soon, however. :P

“Just send him in, it’s not like the day can get any worse,” Lex grumbled, clambering back onto his bed.

>:D

Benny shows up and it’s just pure dramatic irony. Re-reading is suuuuch a bonus.

What if they were endangering Benny by having him here?

OH MY G

“You’re a Snapple guy?”

I’M, I LOST IT AT THIS

Maybe he just wanted to be the one raising the questions- to be in control of the conversation. …Yeah, that was probably it. That was how the human psyche worked.

I’M?

“Of course. I don’t know how other people manage with their android phones. Snapple’s always got the upper hand,” Benny remarked, not even bothering to take his eyes off the screen.

Lex: Right. Have fun with your planned obsolescence, sucker.

IF A REAL LIFE MAN ACTUALLY SAID THIS TO MY FACE.. I GOTTA TELL YA… The sheer level of aggravating this is. XD. I DON’T KNOW IF I’D BE ABLE TO HOLD MYSELF BACK FROM SAYING SOMETHING.

Me internally if an IRL man said this to me: Oh so you’re insufferable and I probably won’t like you very much at all.

SDKJSDNKJSDNKJ

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 4

Bro. Bro I was suspicious of that coffee, man. And then when Lex drains it all, I was like “MMMM somehow… that feels like a mistake he’s going to regret.”

“Could there be any kind of poison in it that interpol could fail to detect?”

But, I didn’t suspect Benny of wrongdoing. I was suspicious of the coffee, but not Benny. I figured that if the coffee had been tampered with, Benny was completely unaware of it. But then, I forgot about it and put it out of mind after that when nothing too dramatic happened immediately after he takes the coffee.

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 5

“It’s fine.” Lex was embarrassed to hear that he’d taken on a rather squeaky tone.

Embarrassed… Embarrassed… Embarrassed…!

Yeeeees. It’s like I’ve waited 3 full fics and then some to see this man FINALLY be embarrassed. Feels good.

…Well this chapter certainly gets intense after that. :[

Now this second vomit scene is actually quite appropriately upsetting to read. OOF.

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 6

Bro just imagining that slowed-down music really IS super eerie, damn.

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 7

“Bobby Fulbright. I was under the impression that you were no longer allowed to be here.”

Gooood he STILL goes for the full titles all the time when “orienting” to the conversation, like he didn’t need to use any name at all here. I’m telling you, 1. This is his character trait, Lex and Phantom alike, and 2. It’s so Franziskan sdkjsdnkjsd.

Bobby sighed. It was like everyone around him realized his care for the Phantom was unwarranted. He himself realized it too, but that didn’t change anything. “I know. I’m just an idiot like that.” “Acknowledgment is the first step to recovery. Now take the next step and get out.” With that, Lex made to slide the headphones back over his ears.

UM rUDE xDDD

While the concept of him being aromantic had been cast into doubt ever since the surgery, he didn’t mean to dig much further into it. Unless he was somehow miraculously saved from execution, his sexuality didn’t matter. He would die just as he’d always lived; alone. The concept didn’t quite stop him from appreciating Benny’s handsome features, though. Or the way Benny kept smiling as if he wasn’t looking at a murderer.

Ohooooh my. Here we are! Precisely what connects back strongly to a lot of the stuff I discussed in my previous post but I couldn’t quite fit it in.

So like. I could very much see what was going on here. Mhm. Yes I did. We are getting implied Lex/Benny. And, confession time, but I MIGHT have stumbled across a post that heavily implied Lex/Benny back before I had ANY inkling of who Benny was… Back before Lex was Lex. So it meant absolutely nothing to me at the time, it simply DEEPLY confused me in the sense of “You’d think I’ve read far enough into the series and yet WHY can’t I make heads or tails of this post?” But, I quickly put it out of mind and temporarily forgot about it and was able to continue reading the text “blind”, but when Benny actually showed up… and Lex is Lex now… And Bobby’s all “He’s SINGLE 😉” I narrowed my eyes all like. Oh. Oh… There’s a certain way this could go. But I still thought “Hey. Maybe nothing will happen and neither of them will develop feelings, maybe it’s just like, a fun side-idea the author personally likes but didn’t put directly into the story- ohhhh and here it is hints on Lex’s side building up in the story. WELL THEN.”

It just felt like…

The author: [shipteases phantomquill, phantom/Athena (YES I KNOW THAT WAS A JOKE AND I AM INCLUDING IT ONLY AS A JOKE THAT WILL LENGTHEN THIS LIST), spyshipping, and even Freudian Phantombright (I AM ALSO INCLUDING THIS LAST ONE ONLY AS A JOKE)]

The author, after doing all of this: [whips out/ushers in their OC at the last minute to pair up with him]

Me:

DFJKSDLKSDKL

The above is a retooled version of a message I sent to my friend at the time – I hope the summary comes across as more of a comically condensed expression of frustration-at-the-time and not mean-spirited (mean-spirited is not what I want to be, I just exaggerate for comical effect is all, and I didn’t expect I’d be telling my feelings to the author directly ahhah..) But as already established? I was quite bitter over the now-you-see-it-now-you-don’t phantomquill, and so I was not particularly impressed at the time as a result… xDDD

I also just love how he, of all characters, seems to be the “launcher of a thousand ships” here… LOL

But of course, Benny is not technically an OC, is he? :P You can argue he’s merely an interpretation of a canon character from Dual Destinies – the courtroom sniper. Dskjdsjknsd

At the time it might have felt “ushered in”, but in reality, Benny has that connection to a “canon” character – the courtroom sniper – the further connection to ace attorney canon through being Shelly’s son, AAAND has already been very much intertwined in this series through “off-screen” references. He really is quite heavily grounded in the fic’s lore. And in Ace Attorney lore. Very, very clever and well-done. …Of course, I didn’t know any of this until the Reveal, so I remained unimpressed until then. Now post-reveal is a different story, and I came to intensely appreciate not only Benny as a character but also just how awesome the dynamic between Benny and Lex really is.

Shipping aside, you have the aroace business… I have actually previously come across a post on your blog where you stated you kinda felt bad for not keeping Lex aroace. I feel like this can easily get pretty thorny, and I want to kind of, as I stated in a previous post, analyse the text as an independent entity here – how I would judge/react to the text without any knowledge of or contact with the author or the context it was crafted in. Indeed, at the time of reading Lifting Spirits I didn’t have a clue what you may personally be or whether you were personally aro/ace or not and couldn’t make any assumptions either way.

There’s, I guess, two main ways to look at this… the phantom was effectively aroace and there was never any evidence suggesting otherwise. But with blocked emotions removed, it turns out the man is not aroace. You can treat “the phantom” and “Lex” as two separate entities in this regard.

But the phantom didn’t completely lack emotions. If Lex is not aroace… It stands to reason that EVEN IF there never was any evidence to suggest the phantom was anything but aroace, there was still the potential for small, limited amounts of evidence that he wasn’t to occur, even if such a thing did not happen to occur when he was the phantom. Which would make the phantom technically not aroace(?) but he simply never realised that. Hmm.

If there were a blanket consistency – if the phantom had experienced an extremely limited and probably outright warped sense of attraction or something like that – or if Lex was also aroace – then there wouldn’t be any “issue”. But as it is, it’s very easy to derive Unfortunate Implications from how it is set up, wherein the Emotionless Killer is aroace, but then he gets to experience proper emotions and becomes a “real person” who basically gets redeemed as that new person and all of a sudden… Only after becoming a “real” and “proper” human being he experiences attraction. It’s all too easy to feel like perhaps the message is that attraction is an integral part of the human experience – EVERYONE’S human experience.

And the flip that happens between the phantom and Lex in this realm further drove home what I perceived to be the massive distinction being made between the two and helped fuel much of my feelings surrounding what I discussed in the previous post. About how perhaps “the phantom” was being thrown under the bus to set up Lex as the good and better alternative. By treating them as two separate people, the connection is not TOO far away to feel as if the aroace aspect is attached to the phantom as part of what gets “thrown under the bus”, inherently attached to a villain seeing as it does not get carried over, inherently attached to emotionlessness – something necessary to be “cast aside” in order to fully complete a transition into a redeemable and “complete” human being.

I do know that none of this was your intent, and I sensed at the time of reading that it was not the author’s active intent as well, but not having enough background context at the time, I couldn’t entirely dismiss the possibility that perhaps it was a possible unintended predisposition bleeding through – nothing malicious in the least, mind you. But perhaps a subconscious assumption that every human being feels attraction and… idk. I wanted to believe the best of the work and the author but it was just, at the very least, an unintended implication that I could not entirely ignore. Being ace myself, it kinda stung, although I did keep that to a minimum until I could actually have more context.

I’m glad for being able to have access to additional context so that I can enjoy the work as it is to the best extent – if, for example, I did not have access to any information or additional context whatsoever about the author and the background under which the work was crafted in, I wouldn’t have been able to entirely shake the discomfort and it’s something small that would have continued to bug me long after I’d finished reading, if only for the fact that I would never have been able to know for sure if the writer was actually dismissing something like asexuality or not.

And Conflicted Thoughts/Feelings once again because, if we step back for a moment and look at this particular narrative thread as it exists in Lifting Spirits and its conclusion as a whole, I AM happy for Lex, it’s great that he gets to have a love interest, it’s a great ship, and the concept of the former phantom becoming attracted to someone and getting a crush is so so great…

What it ultimately comes down to, is that even if you can read Unfortunate Implications into the text regarding the aroace business, any such implications were not your intent. I much prefer reading a text in the most charitable way possible to enjoy it to the fullest possible extent, so that’s what I’ve ultimately done, given additional background info.

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 8

The complete role reversal of this chapter is so good… For months and months prior to ever beginning to read this series, I’d actually been working on a fanfic of my own, albeit for a different fandom. It also centres around inverted character dynamics and such as the central running theme to the extent that it’s even alluded to in the title… But this… The role reversal or transformation that Lifting Spirits centres around is so… It does it so damn well. Kind of makes me want to hold myself and my own fanfiction to a higher standard.

I had perhaps been a little bit suspicious of Benny prior to this chapter, but not much… And the end of the previous chapter had me VERY much like “OK… SOMETHING’S WRONG HERE… SOMETHING’S WRONG! WHAT IS THIS GUY’S DEAL?!” BUT omg this reveal

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 9

He’s the fourth heir to the lineage of De Killer, which means spilling blood is in his blood. It’s a shame, really, that he can’t stand the sight of it.

This chapter description is just so poetic. It’s like, the chapter description is not really separate from the fic itself – it’s just as artistically intertwined with the text. Absolutely GORGEOUS chapter description.

Oughhhhh Benny’s backstory and just. His whole character and the internal conflicts that he has and EVERYTHING is just so damn compelling WOW!

The glimpses into Benny’s past and home life are such a fascinating look into how vastly different his frame of references are… How very unique his perspective and positioning in the world is.

The Phantom… Benjamin had heard of this man, of course. An international spy. One who was so wanted that his father had been hired by at least five clients.

F-FIVE CLIENTS?! AT LEAST? LEGEND.

Okay this is quite interesting to think about too because I always figured that Shelly would only ever take on one client and have one target at a time, so that he could devote his full attention to the task at hand and uphold his end of the contract – his client has faith in him to do a job and to do a job well, so I figured a single-handed focus would be part of that. Under normal circumstances, this would present no issue. Why would it? Shelly’s very good at his job and tracking down an assigned individual target wouldn’t be too difficult. My impression is that a job would generally take maybe 2-3 weeks from the time of meeting with the client and the deed getting done, unless it’s exceptionally easy and the person in question gets taken out within the week.

But obviously the phantom presents a clear problem to that operational method. Shelly’s left with a target he has little to no leads on, no physical description, no name beyond the title, who could be anywhere and anyone. Job like that’s gonna take a little bit longer than three weeks. But Shelly is nothing if not a professional, and he’s more than happy to honour his client’s wishes if they want this guy dead, and he’s certainly not gonna give up or back down from the request…! I wonder if Shelly was in the habit of taking on multiple clients at the time or if he was forced to break from his standard method of operation, cause if he has no leads he has to wait until one turns up/keep searching indefinitely. And it kinda puts a huge damper on business to not accept any new clients for years on end. Maaaaan not being able to take the phantom out quickly & efficiently must’ve bugged the HELL out of him too. He’s made a commitment to his client, his (first) client is trusting him to take this guy out, and YEARS pass and STILL it hasn’t been done. Wonder what kind of dynamic that would have caused between Shelly and the first client.

I have no real doubt that Shelly actually had enough money to put business on hold for a few years if that’s what it meant to track down the phantom, if he wanted to. But it’s just not practical if he genuinely has 0 leads to go on for months on end, it makes more sense to be doing stuff in the meantime. PLUS, part of it would also be to ensure that the de Killer name does not fall into disuse and remains prominent in the minds of the public. To disappear for years only for calling cards to start showing up again… It just wouldn’t look particularly good for The Brand I suppose? The general public wouldn’t know the reason for the silence.

There’s not only that, but he accepts requests from multiple clients for the same target, hugely increasing his payout for a single job. I would have thought it’s possible that were someone to make a request that’s already been made, Shelly might be like “Ah, actually, you can’t select this particular individual”. And if years have passed with no success it begins to raise questions about the “ethics” of accepting further requests for the same person if part of the payment is being made in advance, which I’m sure it is. But then again – I’m sure there was no doubt in Shelly’s mind that he’d actually get him in the end. The length of time that passed didn’t matter. The job would be done, and he was never going to give up. He had multiple clients depending on him, after all.

I guess every time he got another Phantom request he’d sigh and internally be like “ADD THIS CLIENT TO THE LIST I SUPPOSE…”

Client: I want you to take out the phantom

Shelly, internally: Get in line

Dsjsdjh

Really though I’m very sure that the phantom’s difficulty to track down would have irked Shelly to no end. Not that he would necessarily let such sentiments show externally.

And while I’m speaking about this, I guess I will also address Benny being his son here as well. My reaction REALLY was “HIS FATHER??? HIS FATHER????”

I’ve never played DGS and I know there’s de Killer stuff going on in those game(s) and I don’t know if any light is shed in that series on how the lineage works – hm! It’s interesting to think about. One of the theories I’ve seen proposed is that the new de Killer establishes themselves as such by successfully taking out the previous de Killer – no familial relation. That has logistical issues of its own however but it was kind of the default idea that I’d gone with as I hadn’t really seen any others discussed.

Shelly’s unique job and his intense dedication to said job makes it very VERY hard for me to picture him not only establishing a relationship with someone but also fathering a child with someone… It’s quite hard for me to picture how it would work. How it would look in practice. And of course, in the Benny flashbacks, there is no mention of a mother. So I was a little bit like ????? on that front. And then you get the reveal practically at the VERY end of the fic that Benny is adopted, which makes plenty of sense. It is hard for me to picture Shelly as a father but I CAN see him adopting, caring for and raising an adopted child. A child that is to continue the proud de Killer heritage.

THE FACT THAT SOMEONE GOT MISTAKENLY SHOT BECAUSE THEY WERE ASSUMED TO BE THE PHANTOM BUT WEREN’T… OOF. Hope Shelly didn’t prematurely celebrate on that one. He might’ve already enlisted three clients wanting the phantom gone by that point and thought that he could FINALLY collect the rest of whatever money they owed him from them – that he could FINALLY reassure them that the guy was finally flippin’ DEAD. Perhaps only for the phantom to show up AGAIN some time later. (Shelly doing refunds? Dsjksdkj). Ok but on a serious note – I know he would’ve probably known it was not the phantom either immediately after/soon after the guy was shot. There’s things like No Mask and whatnot and probably the aftermath would have made it obvious it was the wrong person without the phantom needing to show up on Shelly’s radar once again. But OOF.

In March, a man had come to see Ben ‘Benny’ Volent, seeking counseling. A man who bore the name of Bobby Fulbright.

WHEN THIS REALISATION HIT ME… OH MY GOD? OH MY GOD? BOBBY FULBRIGHT HAD BEEN UNLOADING THE TRAUMA OF WHAT HE SAW… ONTO THE SON OF THE VICTIM! I CANNOT. THAT IS… NOT GOOD. Being so close to the murder victim can compromise the therapist’s ability to assist the patient at hand, so… conflict of interest! Benny had to sit there and listen to recounts that would have deepened his OWN pain. Bro I am SO sorry. WHAT a punch this was.

Agent Lang had mentioned a move to the federal prison right in front of Benny.

NO JOKE but back when that scene originally occurred I was just like “UMM should they REALLY be discussing this while the therapist is there?” Because I had found Benny to be a LITTLE bit potentially suspicious and. Hmm!

OKAY THE FUNNIEST PART – OR RATHER – THE MOST WACK PART OF THIS ENTIRE SITUATION IS JUST HOW MANY LEVELS OF “CROSSES THE LINE TWICE” IT IS.

Like. The realisations started pouring in for me, one after the other. First it was like “um, Benny counselling Bobby considering the circumstances is a conflict of interest that can potentially compromise his ability to remain objective and properly assist Bobby’s recovery”. THEN, hilariously enough, I was like “UM, IT IS HIGHLY UNPROFESSIONAL FOR BENNY TO ACT AS LEX’S THERAPIST – EXTREME CONFLICT OF INTEREST SEEING AS THE PHANTOM KILLED BENNY’S FATHER AND YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED PERSONAL BIASES TO GET IN THE WAY WITH HOW YOU SEE THE PATIENT”. This was coupled with how… awkward I found it earlier on for Bobby to even suggest, however jokingly, to Lex that Benny was single – how iffy it was for Lex to have developed feelings for Benny (cause if you got feelings for ur therapist that’s bad news for the therapy and Lex even seems to know this) or the possibility that perhaps it was on some level reciprocated, which would be highly unprofessional and further detrimental to the therapist-patient relationship.

BUT THEN I REALISED THIS WAS ALL MOOT AND COMPLETELY BLOWN OUT OF THE WATER ALL BY:

BENNY WAS TRYING TO KILL LEX THE WHOLE TIME ANYWAY.

So LITERALLY WHO CARES about conflict of interest or “professional conduct” here, I’M PRETTY SURE IT IS NOT IN THE LINE OF A THERAPIST’S WORK TO BE ACTIVELY TRYING TO KILL YOUR PATIENT.

And all I could do was laugh. This is the kind of crosses-the-line-twice funny, there’s just SUCH a cluster of professional breaches going on that it is OFF THE CHARTS and loops back around to being hilarious. You can’t even criticise ANYTHING specific about Benny’s conduct, there’s no point, because it is so BLATANTLY and obviously out of line, professionally and legally speaking, in its ENTIRETY. And then you realise his credentials were faked to begin with too, even though he’s genuinely studied the profession and is good at what he does. He’s walking around with faked qualifications ANYWAY.

Lex and Benny’s patient-therapist dynamic was stuffed to HIGH hell, inherently, far before it ever began. It was already compromised beyond belief. THE GUY’S QUALIFICATIONS AREN’T EVEN 100% LEGIT… >failed step one. It is SO wild and subsequently funny as a result. Benny got built up as such a good therapist too, and don’t get me wrong, he does seem to actually be good at what he does as I said. But then you go ahead and reveal all of this about him and it’s sooo… omg

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 10

Simon was about to turn away when he thought he saw it. Just for a fraction of a second. Were Alexander’s lips about to quirk into a victorious smirk? …No, that was ridiculous.

OOOHH MY GOOOOOD I HAD TOTALLY FORGOTTEN ABOUT THIS I SWEAR TO GOD………… I swear to god. Acting skills WAY too strong. He’s still got it. This man is way too powerful/skilled for his own good I swear to god.

Yes, he successfully got Benny to leave and he got out of the ordeal of being held at gunpoint unscathed. But he still had been terrified when going through that. Regardless of how things turned out it makes sense for Lex to be in shock and still be working out some of that fear. Because he HAD been genuinely terrified. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he is genuinely a little in shock during this scene but oh my god.. Because it makes sense for him to still be jittery and then I just. LEX. KINDA HATE THAT I MAYBE GOT A LITTLE WORRIED BECAUSE STILL BEING SHAKEN MAKES SENSE BUT ALSO CONFUSED AT THE EXTENT. On first and second readthrough.

Can’t really say too much else about this chapter right now it’s just sooo intense and riveting gosh.

For a split second, it seemed like Fulbright was so overcome with emotion he might try to pull Alexander into a hug as well. Luckily, Lang cleared his throat in such a loud manner that it was obvious he did so on purpose.

LANG HOW COULD YOU. “LUCKILY” MY FOOT.

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 11

His license was most likely a fake. Would any report compiled by him be worth a damn? And to think, Bobby Fulbright had spoken so highly of him.

WAIT I WAS ONLY JUST SAYING THIS EARLIER SDKSDKNS

Hey. I obviously knew this Mirage scene was coming this time around and yet it managed to somehow sneak up on me anyway. When I got up to it and read through it I just outright started crying. I did not cry on the first readthrough, I was completely dry-eyed. I GOT SUPER ATTACHED TO AND MORE EMOTIONAL OVER MIRAGE ON MY SECOND READTHROUGH OF THIS SERIES FOR A REASON.

Oh, something else that struck me on first readthrough about this scene was… The phantom always EASILY felt to me the far more “bad” person compared to Mirage. When compared to the phantom, Mirage always felt… well, it was easy for me to forget that she’s also done terrible things, that she’s also a criminal. She naturally just seemed like the waay better person – with SOME amount of a moral compass. So it was odd to suddenly have her being in the same room as Lex, no longer being contrasted against the phantom, but contrasted against Lex instead… Lex seems to actually have a much more proper moral compass compared to her now. He’s actually filled with remorse and regrets.

Mirage… still chose to kill people. She’s still herself, and that self is someone who didn’t have a bone sliver preventing her from understanding how much of a powerful impact death can have. It was odd… Lex knows internally how bad killing people is now. Mirage most likely still doesn’t really know… not only that, but… he would know that she doesn’t? I don’t know how to explain what I’m getting at here, but yeah.

Also:

“Why did you ask to see me?” he found himself asking. “…Why do you care?” She giggled, the sound of it rather strained. “Because we’re friends, you idiot.” “We’re not…-”

Me:

“You’d better pray the Phantom’s retrial leads to the death penalty. I’m being released next year, but I wouldn’t mind being tossed right back in here if it means I got to strangle Metis’s killer with these two hands.”

…N-NEXT YEAR?! BUT THAT’S… SO SOON… SOONER THAN I… THOUGHT… I FIGURED SHE HAD LIKE… MAYBE ANOTHER TWO YEARS LEFT… I DIDN’T REMEMBER HER SAYING IT’S NEXT YEAR.

[Thinks about this line and then Tracking Ghosts]

Oh my god… Can it PLEASE at least be the second half of the year I’m dying here… Like I KNEW she had to be released from prison eventually and. Yeah. I JUST THOUGHT WE HAD MORE TIME.

You know what’s funny? This line 100% didn’t faze me on first readthrough. Ahahaha. Why should it have? “You’d better pray the Phantom’s retrial leads to the death penalty” was, after all, my own train of thought at the time… HDHDFH. I was just kinda [nods] “at least someone around here’s got the right idea.” …AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

You completely missed me on the first go, but second time’s a charm. Ya got me. Ya got me with this line this time around. I am worried. :’)

#long post

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taz-writes · 6 years

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WIP questions tag

i got tagged by @eff-writes and I haven’t actually participated in a tag game in like 10 years, so here we go!

1. What is the working title of your book?

Book 1 is called The Beginning. Boring, I know... The series as a whole is called Feilan! It used to be The Feilan Chronicles but then I decided that was stupid.

(book 2 is The Queen of Feilan, book 3 is Storm and Shadow, book 4 is Liaea. 2 and 4 are literally perfect but 3 is Bad and needs replacing when I finish the manuscript.)

2. Where did the idea for your book come from?

It’s based on a recess game I used to play with friends in elementary school. You know how basically everyone was involved in that stupid Boys Versus Girls war in first and/or second grade? I was the leader of my school’s stupid Boys Versus Girls war, it was centered around “Fairyland,” and my friends and I all had these overly complicated self insert characters that we LARPed as during recess. Over the years, the boys vs girls thing faded away, but we kept playing fairies and developing the ~lore.~ When I got to sixth grade, I decided to write it all down for posterity, and that’s when the first concept of Feilan came into being. I wrote the first legitimate draft in 9th grade, after spending a few years developing the characters and world into something that could exist without relying on bad self insert Mary Sue logic.

There were a couple specific scenarios that we always wound up playing, and those are what the books’ core plots are about. Book 1 is the game we played at my house in the woods, usually searching for treasure. Book 2 is the ice skating rink game where we rescue Violet from the Frozen Isles, fused with the swimming pool game where we turn into mermaids. Book 3 is the one we played at my friend Emily’s house, where we built couch fort “prisons” and tried to escape without making enough noise to bother her dad. If we knocked too much stuff over, he’d come up and lecture us for interrupting his Warcraft game, so avoiding him became part of the LARP. Just typing this is bringing up vivid flashback-style memories.

3. What genre is your current work in progress?

High/heroic fantasy, with a drop of genre de/reconstruction added in for fun :)

4. Choose the actors for your movie rendition.

Lucy Liu has to play Lilac Ravenhart. I don’t care about anything else but she has to be Lilac, it’s perfect.

Honestly, if I got a movie, I’d want Sayara to be played by a total unknown because I feel like it fits her place in the story. She wants to be known as Sayara, the actor should want to be known as Sayara and not as whatever their last major role was. Plus I can’t think of any actresses who are short and buff enough.

5. Give a one-sentence synopsis of your book.

An ambitious illegitimate princess stumbles into a civil war and somehow manages to make herself a ~new legendary hero~, much to everyone else’s chagrin.

6. Will your book be self-published or represented by an agent?

I’m not sure yet! It would be awesome to have an agent and be published with a legit publishing house, but self-publishing is faster and easier. Considering that I’ll be trying to market a debut novel with niche appeal and no romantic subplot to speak of, which also has three sequels.... self-pub seems more likely right now.

7. How long did it take you to write the first draft?

The first first draft? I plugged that baby out in six months back in high school, because I didn’t have anything else to do with my life. It added up to over 150,000 words, so that was no small feat. It’s taken progressively longer to finish every new draft since.

8. What other books would you compare your story to?

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (frantic googling sounds)

Honestly, I have no clue. I’ve read lots of books with similar concepts or characters, but I’ve never read another book that was enough like mine for me to want to make a comparison. I’ve taken some inspo from Game of Thrones, but deep worldbuilding lore and too many characters isn’t enough similarity to make a good comparison. Most of the fantasy I’ve read lately has been in a very different vein from what I write, because I’m trying to push my boundaries.

9. Who or what inspired you to write the book?

I got into this a little with the “where’d the idea come from” question! But mostly, my inspiration was spite.

The reason for making this particular recess game into a novel was, simply, that I couldn’t find a single book in YA fantasy that gave me what I wanted out of a story. I wanted strong female leads, who didn’t fall in love or have a LI, who saved the world without being questioned because of their gender or being outshone at the final hour by random boys. Do yall know how rare books like that were (and are) in YA fantasy? Full respect to paranormal romance writers, but your genre was the bane of my existence in high school, because the library would always label it as fantasy, and they always stocked twice as much of it as they did the actual fucking fantasy. Poor little naive Taz would pick up book after book about cool monsters and seemingly-intriguing plots, only for it to devolve into Edgy Boy Love Triangles. I didn’t care about the sexy demon/angel/whateverthefuck boys! I wanted to know how the girl who was supposedly the protagonist was gonna save the world!

Also, I was really into fairies, but the only YA-ish author I could find who wrote about them was Holly Black. Who is a talented writer and I envy and respect her success, but that just wasn’t the kind of story I wanted to read, yknow? She’s too edgy, and the love interests are... that.

I’d sat on “the fairy story” for years at that point, but this powerful rage was the kicker to actually get me started. I was bitter and salty and figured that if nobody would give me what I wanted then I’d just have to make it myself. I already had this source material that was funny and weird and deep and (as far as I could tell) totally unique, so I took it and ran with it! My friends gave me a lot of inspiration, because a few of them still remembered the fairy game, and they wanted to know when their characters would show up. So I’d send them chapters as I finished them, and we’d all get excited about stupid inside jokes and goofy names.

10. What else about your book might pique a reader’s interest?

I think the deconstructive elements are the core appeal in Feilan. I have a lot of the trappings of standard high fantasy--the lost princess, the return of the evil, the big war, the chosen one--but they’re used with the intent of picking them apart to see what makes them tick. None of the elements listed are played entirely straight.

The main cast is made up of mostly royalty, and their positions have Actual Responsibilities that motivate the plot and their character development instead of just being set dressing.

Female friendships and relationships are really important to the story, no boys will ever appear to derail character arcs at any point.

One of the main characters (Violet) is a trans girl and I know people appreciate queer content

(most of the main characters are actually under the queer umbrella but it doesn’t really come up in canon since i have a lot of plot to deal with)

Sayara is a relatively unconventional character type (especially for a female protagonist), she’s ambitious and mostly confident in herself, and her conflict comes from the way other people treat her more than how she treats other people. She’s not forced to learn “humility,” she’s not forced to give up on what she wants. Instead she learns how to handle responsibility and move past naivety to realistic optimism, and how to achieve her goals without hurting other people by it. I feel like that’s a theme that should be way more common in YA fiction than it is right now. teenage girls are right about things sometimes!

i have Deep Worldbuilding(tm)

The magic system has categories and you can sort yourself. because we all know what’s really important here.

I’m not going to tag anyone new in this, because I’m tired and I don’t have the energy, but if you want to pass on the challenge then feel free to say I tagged you! :)

#taz talks #tag game #feilan #i spent like a half hour fondly reminiscing on the fairyland LARPs halfway through this #what a time that was #i used to bring my friends over to my house and we'd carve swords in the basement out of scrap wood #and give them super dramatic names #mine were nightshade and maximinimum #ngl though maximinimum has a certain ring to it #and then we'd go out back and hit vines with the swords and get really excited if we successfully cut something #sometimes we colored on the swords with magic markers #i still want to know why we spontaneously decided we hated emily's dad lmao #it's not like warcraft was the problem #emily also played warcraft #and we did get really loud and obnoxious #but oh well #The Characters In This Story Bear No Deliberate Resemblance To Any People Real Or Imagined #except amalie and melalina. amalie and melalina are valid and i got permission.#oh also the recess game thing is why there are so few male characters #all the heroes are girls because it started as girls vs boys #and then when i developed the villains i replaced a lot of boring 2D male characters with more interesting complicated women #leaving behind just the handful of men who remain

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zaggitz · 6 years

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VIDEO GAMES 2017: ONE MILLION GAMES ENTER, TEN GAMES LEAVE.

Well that sure was the best year in video games since probably 1998, wasn’t it? Nintendo put out a new console and 3 major franchise entries, basically every anticipated game of the early 10′s finally frickin’ came out, we got 4 new English Falcom games, 3 of which with good locs, and they made a new Nier? What???

What a time to be alive.

Let’s not waste any time getting to the list, lord knows VIDEO GAMES 2017 has already sucked out enough time from me for a lifetime.

Before we begin, here’s my lists for 2015 and 2016.

Honorable Mentions:

Persona 5:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaIo82uT0qs

It’s insane that this game isn’t in my top ten, hell, it’s insane that it isn’t in my top five. It’s less a commentary on Persona 5′s quality and more that the games that did make the list resonated with me a whole lot more. VG2017 truly was too powerful.

P5 is mired with stiff localization problems, but even without the loc in consideration, the thematic through-line of the game gets muddled and becomes a toothless version of the promising rebellious first ten hours the game provides by the time you reach the finish line, which also just happens to come 20 hours too late, in my opinion.

What a great looking and feeling game though.

Tales of Berseria:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYXwD2CfxOs

On the flipside we have this game, the first Tales game I’ve enjoyed since Tales of Vesperia back in 2008. This game has an amazing story and great characters with a thematic backbone that sticks to your ribs after you finish it.

Now if I didn’t hate the act of actually playing it and having to scour its way too big boring empty dungeons and crappily designed world, it’d be a list maker for sure.

OKAY NOW IT’S TIME FOR THE CERTIFIED BANGERS:

10. Metroid: Samus Returns

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhQWJG-_Oco

Somehow my least favorite Metroid game got two remakes that both made my list two years in a row?? This game is pretty great in it’s own right though it has a few control scheme imperfections and I could see a switch port easily being the definitive version to get.

The reason this game really makes the list though is because of how it lives up to its title. Finally an official Nintendo Metroid game that comes out and undoes Sakamoto’s vile character assassination of Samus back in Other M. .

The queen is back, and she has been missed.

9. Horizon: Zero Dawn

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FD0DByDxJBA

An engrossing open world, great stealth/hunting/gathering systems AND robot dinosaurs are just a part of what makes this first outing for what seems like an extremely promising series great.

No, what really sets this game apart from its contemporaries is how it fleshes out its backstory, culminating in the creation of what might actually be the most despicable piece of shit villain ever put to writing for a video game. And he’s been dead for a thousand years so you can’t do shit to him.

Fuck you, Ted Faro.

8. Night in the Woods

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2UUFFMGcgY

This game hit extremely close to home for me. Forced to come back home to a small, dying town full of people clinging to the good old days instead of doing anything for the generation after them, having this game to play and have it be said out loud that yeah, other people are living this nightmare too, was insanely refreshing.

For as much as we all need a bit of direction sometimes, sometimes what we also need to know being a directionless 20-something asshole trying their best is okay too.

Also Gregg rulz ok.

7. Ys VIII: Lacrimosa of Dana

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNgph1g422Q

Great gameplay, great music, fun characters, one of the most fun to explore worlds in an action adventure game. This game truly nails the sense of pure adventure Ys is known for.

It’s a shame then that it’s plagued with one of the most laughable translation efforts in the industry, much of the games personality comes from the fact that even a bad localization job can’t overwrite some character quirks, but this still leaves the rest of the script feeling extremely stiff at best and incomprehensible at worst.

I hope the re-translation patch is good. Until then, Fuck NISA and have a good day.

6. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiU65nQdZE8

I would describe this game as a great first step in evolving the Zelda formula. That’s not even really that accurate, the real first step was in Link Between World’s item rental/no dungeon order systems.

Nevertheless, BOTW amazes with a sense of scope and exploration no game has ever really come close to, and achieves it almost effortlessly by simply giving you the ability to climb anything.

More music, more proper dungeons, a deeper story and a few durability tweaks are basically all you need to make the next Zelda game the easy best in series.

5. Yakuza 0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYB-D9qEwzI

This isn’t the best game this year, but it is easily, no question, the MOST video game this year. 110 hours in and only 60% complete, Yakuza 0 is the game that keeps on giving, with an enthralling true crime story that reshapes what we know about its protagonists. It’s pretty much a non stop emotional thrill ride to the finish line.

It effortlessly incorporates the best side story aspects from the many games in the series to come out before it, and utilizes them with a fantastical glee that keeps you with a smile on your face for the whole run. This is easily the funniest game I’ve played this year. Thank you SEGA.

4. Hollow Knight

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1unm0LS10ao

God I can’t wait for this game to get ported to consoles. I bought a new laptop basically just to play this game and the absolutely enthralling metroidvania world design, hand drawn and animated aesthetic, and fantastic npc characters blew me away.

The encounter designs are tough but fair(except maybe the Colisseum) and the DLC so far has been great. I can’t wait for all the post release content to come out so I can play through it all again on Switch and probably PS4.

It’s insane only 3 people made this game.

3. Super Mario Odyssey

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhciLj5VzOk

Nothing to say here that hasn’t been said by hundreds of others. SMO is pure joy distilled into video game form.

I can’t wait for Odyssey 2 to come out and somehow blow this one out of the water like Galaxy 2 did for Galaxy.

2. Nier: Automata

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKOM3lNFajE

An amazing contemplation on what it means to be alive, and a thoroughly satisfying conclusion to a story that, for me at least, has been told since Drakengard in 2003. Game after game of sad tragic stories with bad endings and characters fighting an imperfect world imperfectly and only making things worse while temporarily making things better for themselves.

And really even in those cases there’s caveats.

Caviats???? Anyway.

Ending E of this game finally brings some semblance of peace for this fucked up world where a deranged killer and his dragon fell through the sky and made things the worst for everyone for literally tens of thousands of years. Finally Devola and Popola can sleep. All is well.

1. The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky the 3rd

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wld2q4mLhYM

Another year, another Trails game at number 1. I’ll be real with you, I’m about to drop a bunch of personal rambly stuff about what this entire trilogy means to me so if you don’t wanna read that, that’s fine.

This game is basically a perfect epilogue to a game that means a whole lot to me and serves as an amazing capper to an amazing jrpg trilogy.

When I first played Trails in the Sky First Chapter, it was the PC version in 2014. Now in 2014 I was coming off being in college for about 6 years, switching majors a few times and not really being into what I was doing but, yknow, you gotta major in something and then you gotta get a job, that’s kind of what getting started as an adult is.

So I played this weird little jrpg that was, fundamentally, about a country and the people in it trying to move on from a tragic war years prior, hiding their still fresh wounds in plain sight and just trying to go on with their lives.

It was an extremely interesting game, for how plot-light it was in the early goings, you got to really feel the struggle of these people and the unseemly past they were trying to run away from or avoid repeating. This underlying conflict builds and builds until we can’t ignore it anymore.

When I played Second Chapter a year later, I had been laid off from a job I got right out of College and had no employment prospects. I hated the fact that I’d spent basically my entire adult life up to that point doing something I wasn’t passionate about and then got let down by the system.

At the same time, the shame of my situation lead me to close up and not tell anyone about the problems I had, I was broke, I owed two months rent, on the verge of getting evicted, I felt extremely alone.

All this to get to the point that Second Chapter was ultimately a game about pulling out the dark shit we don’t like talking about and saying “it’s okay to talk about this stuff, there’s always someone who will listen.” It got me to get over myself somewhat and actually reach out for help, and I’m really thankful for it not letting me hit rock bottom.

Two years later still, I’m in a much better place, I finally feel happy about where my life is and what I’m doing and oh boy here comes Trails in the Sky the 3rd.

Completing the journey I started back in 2014, I found myself playing a game all about how it’s okay to acknowledge the bad things that happened to us, so long as we learn and move on from them accordingly.

This trilogy has so much heart, and so many memorable characters, and so much to say. It’s so, so special to me, and I was openly weeping when all the characters I’ve come to know and love over 4 years finally parted ways.

Thank you Falcom for making these games, and thank you Xseed for bringing these games to us.

TL;DR

#game of the year #trails in the sky #nier automata #night in the woods #ys #metroid #mario oddysey #hollow knight #yakuza 0 #zelda breath of the wild #horizon zero dawn

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hymn2000 · 5 years

Text

Hope I’ve Got Something To Lose - MCU AU fanfic - C15

Story overview: Peter has an accident, and Tony makes a drastic decision. In the midst of everything, a face from the past reappears - but Peter isn’t too sure about reconnecting after everything that’s happened.

Previous chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

Part of my irondad and spiderson series.

Warnings/themes: injury, hospital stuff, hurt/comfort, mental health stuff, family stuff, corporal punishment, friendship

You can also find me on AO3

Chapter 15 - Leave On Amber

Peter slept well, and didn’t feel too bad about being shaken awake in the early hours of the morning. He set about getting ready while Loki went to wake the girls up.

“Morning” Loki said, turning the big light on.

Both girls woke abruptly, whining and pulling the covers over their faces.

“Come on, get up, get ready. There’s no time for lie ins” Loki said, giving the quilts a tug so they were forced to face the light. “Get dressed”

“Oh Loki, I’m too tired” Flo whined.

“You’re just going to have to get on with it, darling” Loki gave her a quick hug, and laughed a little as she yawned. “Coffee?”

“Yes please”

“Come through to the kitchen when you’re ready. We’ll get the kettle boiled”

Liz waited until Loki had left before addressing Flo.

“Early mornings suck”

“Yes, they do” Flo said, rubbing her eyes. “I don’t generally drink coffee, but I think I need it today”

“Me too... He will let me, won’t he?”

“Who? Loki?”

Liz nodded.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t he?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think he likes me”

“He’s not going to deny you coffee or anything though, even if he didn’t” Flo said, giggling a little. “Do you like him?”

Liz paused for a moment. “I’m not sure. I think I’m a bit scared of him”

“You’ll get used to him. He’s just a big softy really. You’ll see”

Peter was cuddled up under Tony’s arm in the kitchen, looking at Tony’s tablet with him. Loki was busy with the kettle, but looked up when Liz and Flo came into the kitchen.

“Morning, girls” Tony said, closing his tablet and hugging Peter properly. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, thank you” Liz said, going over to them while Flo talked to Loki. “It’s a lovely room”

“I’m glad you think so. Get yourself something to eat. It’s better not to go about everything on an empty stomach”

“Dad’s doing drinks” Peter said. “I’ve put some toast in, if you want some”

“Sure”

Peter wriggled away from Tony and gave Liz a hug.

“How are you doing? Tired?”

Liz smiled, and nodded. “Incredibly”

“I’ve done this journey before. We can always sleep in the car and on the plane. The jets real comfy” Peter said, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“Peter, sweetheart?” Loki said. “What are you having to drink? Are you after a coffee?”

“Yeah, can I have a cappuccino please?” Peter asked, pulling away from Liz.

“Of course, darling... Liz?”

“Hm? Oh. The same, please”

Flo caught her eye and gave her a smile.

“What are you two smiling at?” Peter asked, getting the plates out for the toast.

“Oh, nothing” Flo said vaguely. “It’s just girls stuff”

Tony grabbed Peter by the shoulders

“Flippin’ heck, it’s like herding sheep!” he said. “Get down to the car. Your friends are already down there. Let me and your dad sort everything up here. Now, have you got everything?”

Peter nodded. “I think so. You always pick up anything I forget, anyway”

“Ok, good. Down you go, then” he gave him a little push in the direction of the garage door. “There’s a good boy”

A temporary lull in energy helped the journey to the airport run smoothly. Luckily it wasn’t a very long journey now they could use the main airport. The teens sat quietly in the back of the car, scrolling through Instagram on Liz’s phone, as she was the one sat in the middle.

Once they reached the airport, they suddenly felt much more awake, partly due to the sharp night wind. The girls were suddenly hit with excitement, which Peter felt helped his own feelings. It felt very different, being with friends. He found he could barely pay attention to either parent, even when Tony got a little bit irate.

It was wonderfully familiar being back on the jet. Peter set about finding everything he usually had on the jet: blankets and books and videos and pillows - everything he needed to feel comfortable.

“Ok, this jet is amazing” Liz said, sitting down cross-legged beside Peter. “I know it’s mad, but I 100% imagined we’d be going on a passenger jet, not a private one”

“It’s cool having a whole plane to ourselves, isn’t it?” Flo said.

“It’s way more comfortable this way, trust me” Peter said. “You know, it’s a really long flight. I think it’s like, nine hours? It’s longer cos we’re going to a more central airport. And then it’ll probably be a few more hours in the car at the end”

“Do you know where abouts we’re going yet?” Liz asked.

Peter shook his head. “I think I’d rather find out via road signs at the other end. Sometimes the surprise factor is a good thing, yknow?”

“It’s somewhere by the sea, that’s all we need to know” Flo said. “I’m looking forward to it. I’ve never been to England before”

“Me neither. But you have?” Liz said to Peter.

“Yeah. You know that first summer I spent at the Stark’s? We went then. We were gonna go with May at one point too, but... Well, we never quite got round to it. We went again after they adopted me, though. We kinda went on a little Euro-tour”

“Where did you go?”

“Well, England, of course. And Scotland. And we went to Portugal and France and Belgium. And we spent a night in Luxembourg. We went to Germany, and technically we went to Switzerland, because there’s this bit in the Black Forest where you can literally just walk right over the border. I don’t know what part of Switzerland it was, and we didn’t really know how far it would be to get to the town or whatever. So we just messed about at this playground for half an hour and then walked back to Germany”

“That’s so weird, but kinda cool too. I’m guessing it was a long holiday?”

Peter nodded. “Yeah, it was pretty long. I forget exactly how long, though. I’ve got a whole bunch of photos - Flo’s seen them. Maybe I can show you some time?”

“Yeah, that’d be cool”

“Kids” Tony interrupted. “You need to grab a chair and strap yourselves in: we’ll be setting off soon”

“How long is it going to take in the car at the other end?” Liz asked as they sat down and put their belts on.

“Ehhh” Tony said vaguely. “Maybe about three hours? We might arrive when it’s still almost light, if we’re lucky”

“Is that part of the reason why we’re leaving so ridiculously early?”

“Absolutely. It’s what, nearly four now? So we should land around 1pm our time, which is...”

“6pm their time” Loki supplied.

“Right” Tony nodded. “So, theoretically, we’ll get to our base by around 9pm. You’ll be straight to bed when we get there, I reckon”

“What about food?” Peter said.

“We’ve got stuff on here” Tony said. “We’ll probably just grab a takeaway or something when we land”

“I think we’ll sleep well tonight” Flo said.

“Try to sleep on the plane as well, if you can” Tony said. “I know you naughty lot were up until way after you’d been sent to bed. I can’t imagine any of you are well rested”

“Well, perhaps not” Liz admitted.

There was a dull sound, and they looked up to see the seat belt sign illuminated.

“Tighten your belts, kids” Tony said. “We’re off”

Once they were properly airborne and the seat belt light had switched off, Peter and the girls set up camp on the floor with plenty of cushions and blankets. Peter found the lovely tin Moomin mugs and turned the kettle on.

“Not for us, thanks, sweetheart” Tony said, when Peter offered him and Loki a drink. “We’re gonna get some shut-eye”

“Ok, we’ll try to keep the noise down”

“Thanks sweetheart” Tony said.

Tony flopped on the sofa, and Loki curled up beside him. Flo looked over at them.

“Loki? Are you ok?” she asked. “You’re very quiet”

“I’m fine, sweetheart” Loki said, closing his eyes.

Tony held him close. “Don’t you worry about us, pet”

Liz took Flo’s hand, and Flo turned to look at her. She smiled slightly and squeezed her hand back. Peter handed them both a mug, and sat down with them.

“They always sleep on the plane” he said.

“What if we wake them up?” Liz said, glancing over at them.

“We won’t. Not if we stay quiet”

The first hour went by smoothly enough, but then, after having had such little sleep during the night, the teens were all overcome with fatigue.

“Do you two mind if I go to sleep?” Peter asked, timidly. “I’m kinda finding it hard to stay awake just now”

“Me too” Flo said. “Liz?”

Liz nodded. “I’m tired too. Maybe we should’ve gone to sleep when we were told to yesterday”

Peter nodded. “Maybe... We should definitely sleep now though. I’m absolutely knackered”

Peter looked over at his parents. Ordinarily, he’d go and cuddle up with them, but somehow he didn’t think he should this time, not while Flo and Liz were there. He felt them watching him, and slowly turned back to them.

“Are you ok?” Liz asked.

Peter nodded slowly. “Just tired”

He rearranged the pillows and blankets, making a big nest on the floor for them. Liz and Peter lay close together, facing each other, while Flo cuddled up close behind Peter, spooning him. They were good, and instead of continuing to talk, settled down quickly and very soon fell fast asleep.

Peter woke up on Flo’s chest, with Liz’s hand in his. He stirred, and the movement seemed to wake both girls from their slumber. Liz sat up, rubbing her eyes and feeling very glad she hadn’t bothered with make up that morning. Peter sat up so that Flo could too. They exchanged slight smiles, but were quiet for a few moments, adjusting back to reality.

“How long have we got left to go?” Liz asked.

“I don’t know... How long have we been asleep?”

Flo looked at her phone. “Four hours, ish. So I think there’s still about four hours to go, and that’s just the flight”

“Peter?” Tony said.

Peter looked over at him. “Hm?”

“I think you’d better try to eat something”

“Oh... Ok. Do you want anything?”

“We’ve already eaten, sweetie” Loki said, turning the page of his book.

Tony nodded. “Yeah, you just sort something for you and your friends, darling. There’s plenty in the cupboards”

“I don’t think I’m very hungry”

“Try to eat anyway, pet”

Peter shifted uncomfortably. He didn’t want to risk upsetting his parents, or his friends seeing him get all funny about something as simple as a snack - but he didn’t want to eat either. He couldn’t think of anything he could stomach.

Liz saw the look on his face, and took his hand, giving it a squeeze.

“I really fancy cheese on toast. What about you?”

Peter looked at her for a moment, and smiled. “Sounds good...”

Peter felt a bit more awake once he’d had something to eat, and a little calmer too. He curled up beside Loki on the sofa. Loki put his book down and hugged Peter close.

“Hello, sweetie” he said. “How are you doing?”

“I’m ok. You?”

“Tired” Loki said. “Very tired. But ok. I’m looking forward to the sea air”

“We won’t really get any today, will we?”

“Well. We’ll be out in the air for a little bit, even just getting out of the car. You’ll feel the difference. We’ll get plenty of sea air over the next few days anyway”

“Do you really think it’ll help?”

“Of course” Loki gave him a squeeze. “And even if it doesn’t, at least you will have gotten a holiday out of it”

The next few hours seemed to fly by remarkably fast. Perhaps it was the film, or perhaps it was having his friends there. Whichever it was, it was a bit of a surprise when Tony put a hand on his shoulder and brought the lit seat belt sign to his attention.

“Already?” he said dumbly.

“Yes, already” Tony said. “Time to get buckled up, pet: we’ll be landing soon”

“Six o’ clock, as predicted” Tony said, piling everyone into the hire car.

“How long did you say it’d take to get to where we’re staying?” Liz asked.

“Hold on a minute, I’ll check the Sat-Nav” Tony said, fiddling with the screen.

“Are we getting something to eat on the way?” Flo asked.

“Depends how hungry everyone is” Tony said. “Ah, there we are: two hours, fifty-two minutes, on the fastest route. So yeah, probably more like three, maybe a little bit more”

“I hate this bit” Peter grumbled, putting his scrunched up hoodie against the window and resting his head on it.

“You’ll live, chick” Loki said. “Just look out of the window and enjoy the view”

Peter certainly didn’t feel like he’d live. He was ok for maybe the first half hour, and then he started to feel very restless and uncomfortable, and upset. He knew his distress was obvious, and that alone annoyed him, and made him feel even more tragic.

Loki put a hand on Tony’s wrist. Tony glanced at him, and gave him a slight, understanding smile.

“Would you girls be opposed to a McDonald’s?” he asked. “I think I can see the golden arches”

Liz and Flo looked at each other. “Sounds good to me!”

The strange, almost-tradition of McDonald’s in the car after a flight was a bit of a comfort, but Peter couldn’t seem to calm his nerves. He took the first opportunity to get out of the car, leaning against the bodywork and breathing deeply. Loki got out to join him. The girls almost did too, but Tony stopped them.

“Hey” Loki said, taking Peter’s face in his hands. “What’s going on?”

“...I don’t know. I don’t feel so good”

“Do you need to walk away?”

Peter stopped for a moment, and then nodded.

“I thought as much”

Loki put an arm round his shoulders and took him over to a bench by the road, out of sight of the car. They sat quietly together while Peter breathed in the cool evening air and gradually started to feel a bit better.

“So” Loki said eventually. “Do you know what’s making you feel like this?”

Peter shook his head. “No, not really. I was ok until we landed”

“I think you’re probably just nervous. I think change surprises you, even when you’re expecting it. I don’t think having your friends here is helping either - although I’m sure it’ll be good for you once you’ve got over this little blip”

“...I am feeling better now, mostly... How am I gonna explain this to them?”

“They don’t know what’s going on, and they need only know what you want them to”

Peter looked up at him. “I think we should go back now, before our food gets cold”

Liz and Flo looked at him worriedly when he got back into the car.

“Are you ok?”

Peter took a deep breath, and smiled at them. “Yep, I’m fine. Travel sickness is a killer sometimes”

Miraculously, they believed him.

Liz was the first to fall asleep, and Flo followed not long after. Peter stayed awake, listening to his parents talking until Loki gradually went quiet and dropped off too. Then it was just two left awake. Tony reached back and gave Peter’s hand a quick squeeze, but he didn’t say anything. Peter rested his head against Flo’s and looked out of the window, watching the flash of the passing street lights, listening to the hum of the engine, and trying to work out if what he was feeling was fear or relief.

Peter jumped a little when the car stopped. He hadn’t realise he’d dropped off. The others were all awake by now, and the girls smiled sleepily at him.

“We’re here, kids” Tony said.

“What time is it?” Flo asked.

“Not quite ten” Tony said. “Come on: let’s get all the bags in and see if we can’t sort a few bits and bobs out before we turn in”

Peter and Liz wanted to rush off and explore the house straight away, but Loki collared them both and made them stay put.

“But-!”

“But nothing” Loki said. “Your father’s already assigned rooms, so wait and do as you’re told”

“Is this because of what happened at that party? Because-”

“Peter, don’t try your luck”

Peter pouted. “I just think-”

“You’re not fighting already, are you?” Tony interrupted, shutting the front door behind himself and locking it. “Alright, Lolly, stick the kettle on, would you, darling? Kids, with me”

Loki went off and the teens followed Tony obediently.

“There’s gonna be a bit of room sharing” Tony said, taking them upstairs.

“That’s fine” Liz said. “We’re all friends here”

Tony smiled slightly, pushing open one door. “Here you are, girls”

They turned the light on, and found themselves in a cute twin room, with nautical cushions on the beds, an old metal fireplace, and a big wardrobe and dressing table with chairs.

“Oh wow, this is so cute!” Flo said, admiring the carvings on the mantelpiece.

“I’ve gotta admit, it’s bigger than I expected” Liz said. “Flo, do you mind me having the bed nearest the door?”

“No, that’s fine” Flo smiled.

“Hold on, what about me?” Peter said, biting his lip.

“Don’t chew on yourself like that” Tony said, tapping him on the mouth with his knuckles. “There’s another room for you”

“But-”

“You need your own space” Tony said, firmly. “Girls, grab your cases and bring them up, get settled a bit. We’ll check in on you soon”

“Why didn’t you ask me about this?” Peter said once the girls were out of earshot. “I’d prefer to share a room”

“You need your own space. Besides, the girls probably need to be all-girls-together, y’know?”

Peter didn’t look convinced - and he certainly didn’t look happy. Tony put an arm round his shoulders and pushed open another door. This was a little single room.

“Dad-”

“Wrong one” Tony closed the door again and opened another one. “Ah, here you are”

“Dad?”

Tony gave him a little push into the room. “Same thing, kiddo. Go and get your cases and get yourself settled”

Peter went and got his bags. He paused in the hallway. He could see his parents in the kitchen, looking perfectly contented, kissing each other slowly and deeply. Peter scowled, throwing his shoulder bag over his shoulder. There was something so annoying about being the only person in the house feeling unsure and uncomfortable about everything.

He went back to his room and unpacked a few essentials, but then shoved the near-full cases to the side of the room and flopped on the double bed. The room looked like it was spinning above him. He shivered. Everything felt cold and a little unreal. He wanted to be back in his own bed at home, listening to the distant sound of the radio. He felt like he was one kind comment from bursting into tears.

Loki knocked on the door to the twin room and pushed it open. He couldn’t help laughing at the look on the girls faces.

“You look like two deer caught in headlights!” he said. “What exactly are you two up to?”

“Nothing, Loki, honest!” Flo said.

Loki didn’t look like he believed her, but he didn’t say. He chose not to push it, and set two mugs down on the little table at the end of Liz’s bed.

“I’ll leave you to it - whatever ‘it’ is”

Loki went to the double room. Peter was sat on the bed, looking at his phone, and looking very glum indeed.

“Oh dear” Loki said, standing in front of him. “What’s the matter?”

Peter shrugged.

“Come on now, you can talk to me”

“...I just... I feel so bloody emotional..!” Peter choked, a single tear dripping down his cheek.

“Oh sweetheart” Loki sighed, setting the mug he held down on the bedside table and sitting beside Peter.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me-!”

“Maybe you’re just tired” Loki said, pulling him onto his lap and hugging him tight. “Or maybe you’re just having one of those days”

“I should be happy though, right? Anyone else in my position would. I’m on holiday, and I’ve got my friends here. So why do I have to feel so sad and rubbish?”

“That’s just the way it is, sometimes. For lack of another example, just think back a bit to how I was in the week before the wedding. I wasn’t exactly singing from the rooftops now, was I?”

Peter shook his head, knuckling his eyes.

“Sometimes you don’t feel the good emotions at the right time. But they’ll come”

“I’m tired...”

“You’ll feel better in the morning, when you’ve had a good sleep and refreshed yourself” he peered at the boy. “There’s something else going on here. What is it?”

Peter shifted uncomfortably. “...I just feel a bit lonely”

“No one is saying you have to coop yourself up in here” Loki said, reaching for the mug of tea and putting it in Peter’s hand. “Take a minute to compose yourself, and then go and join for friends for a bit before bed”

“I don’t know. Dad said-”

“Peter, it wasn’t a suggestion”

Peter looked up at him, and he smiled.

“Yes, dad”

Joining the girls had been a good idea. They had their drinks and they talked and they laughed, and Peter started feeling better - almost back to his usual self. Just before midnight, there was a knock on the door, and Tony came into the room.

“Ok kids, you need to be going to bed now” he said. “It’s been a long day. Go and brush your teeth and get ready for bed”

Flo and Liz nodded.

“Yes, Mr Stark”

“Good girls. Peter, come on darling: say goodnight to your friends”

Peter did as he was told, hugging both girls tight before letting Tony guide him back to his room.

“Do you need a wee before you go to bed?”

“Dad! I’m not five!”

“Well, do you?”

Peter shook his head. “No”

“Ok, good. Well, you’ve got a sink in here, so you can just get yourself sorted in here. I’ll come and check on you in a little while, ok, chick?”

Peter nodded. “Ok”

Tony shut the door behind him. Peter did his teeth and washed his face and got into his pyjamas. He crawled into bed and tucked his Peter Rabbit toy under his arm. He lay back against the pillows, looking up at the artex ceiling and listening to Liz and Flo laughing together. It was nice to hear, even though he wasn’t a part of it. He felt ok now. Maybe Loki was right: he’d feel better in the morning.

#my writing #fanfiction #mcu fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #frostiron #irondad and spiderson

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