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#but ultimately it’s so self indulgent
twopoppies · 1 year
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strawberry-s0ap · 11 months
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remaking my old stimboards - 3/?
x x x / x x x / x x x
original here!
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may12324 · 8 months
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I love the texture of your art? Like the illustration vibes straight out of a story, they're so elegant. I can't stop staring at your skins!! Wait. That's weird. But true!! I love how you do shading and flushes, but it looks so...smooth? I just love your art so much <3
oh, hah! well, thank you :)
I blame it on pencils and gradients, I'm not good at digital lineart so it's all mostly pencil baybeeeeee. The paper and pencil add some faint textures, which is nice.
Also gradients make everything look better, whether that's for backgrounds, clothing, and skin!
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drabblingman · 1 year
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Mephistopheles shut their diary in one hand with a "snap", and rushed off as fast as he could. His steps mixed with the rapid clacking of his cane, and his old injury screamed at him, but that didn't matter right now.
He had to find them. To set the record straight.
But what exactly was the truth? Wasn't his whole reason for snooping because he disliked them? Hadn't he been trying to unearth dirt on them? To write a scathing piece in the R.A.D. Times on? To sully their reputation, and prove they weren't as honest as they appeared to be?
Stupid.
They always told him the truth. He had tried time and again to catch them in a lie, but he never could. They never lied. Even when they knew what they said could be misconstrued, or twisted against them, they always spoke the truth. Their truth.
Why would their diary be any different?
He was so stupid.
It was one of the things he liked about them. But if he disliked them, why would he like something, anything about them?
Why would it hurt that they thought he hated them?
He liked a lot of things about them. Their honesty. Their quick, yet cutting, wit. Their ability to get in and out of the most frustrating and precarious of situations, always with a new story to tell. Their humor. Their laugh.
He liked them, damnit, so why did they think he hated them? Why did he think he hated them?
He gritted his teeth, and clutched their diary tighter in his free hand.
God above and Demon Lord below, he was so stupid.
He turned a corner, and found them exactly where he knew they would be. He had, after all, had to plan for the optimal time to go looking through their most personal of belongings, and it'd be a rookie mistake to not know where your target was at the time of infiltration.
The human exchange student was alone, after class, at a table outside of the school. They were packing up after working on their homework for exactly 58 minutes, so they could make the late bus that left exactly an hour after school. Something he had planned meticulously for.
Too bad all of that planning had gone out the window. (Which was, ironically, how he had planned to make his daring escape.)
He approached them as they were placing their books in their bag, not yet noticing him.
"How dare you write such accusations!" is probably not the best thing to shout at someone while holding their diary.
Which is why Mephistopheles preferred the written word. Preferably, articles. Then, he could go back and forth and rewrite anything that came out too harshly or just plain wrong. Here? Oh no. He couldn't backspace a single letter from what he said here.
They looked up, bewildered.
And then he saw it. The dawning realization that in his left hand he held their diary, replaced quickly by the shock and betrayal that he had alluded to having read it.
It was like they had frozen in front of him, yet he was the one who felt cold from his own thoughtless actions.
Had he mentioned how stupid he was? Because he really was quite stupid.
"Why do you have that?" They asked him, their voice low and serious.
"I-! Well-!" He spluttered, unable to think of a perfectly valid excuse for breaking in to their house, their room, and their locked and magically-enchanted diary.
"You know me! I'm an investigator! And I must investigate you!"
They stared at him, then at their diary, still clutched firmly in his hand.
"Give it back."
Mephistopheles blinked at their outstretched hand, processing, for a moment too long, what they had requested of him.
They made a grabbing motion.
"Oh-" he finally realized, quickly dropping their diary back into their palm.
They packed it in their bag with the rest of their books, silently, as Mephistopheles watched.
"We- we really must talk!" He managed at last, stumbling on his words.
Their head snapped up, and the glare they threw his way he would've sworn gave him physical damage. Even Lucifer, king of the death glare, would have quaked in his stupid fancy shoes.
"What's. There. To. Talk. About?" They asked him, enunciating each word carefully.
"About what you wrote-"
"-You mean my private thoughts?" They cut him off. "You mean my private thoughts that you violated? That you read without my permission? That I wrote so I wouldn't have them running around my head? So that I wouldn't speak them out loud? Those?"
He winced.
This was not going well.
And he was probably digging his own grave.
Which he assumed they would then dance on.
And then they'd probably raise him from the dead, just to kill him and dance on it again.
But still...
He had to know.
No matter what, he had to know.
"...Do you really think I hate you...?"
They stared at him, as if he was completely stupid. (A sentiment he was really truly beginning to agree with.)
"Why would I lie to my diary? Of course I do. What other proof do I need after this stunt you just pulled?"
Ouch. That one stung a little.
Ok, a lot.
"Then, what about the other things you wrote about me?"
They held his gaze for a moment, before looking down at the table, quiet.
"...What does it matter?" They asked bitterly, sadness tinging the edges of their words as they avoided eye contact with him.
He approached the table from the other side, placing his white-gloved hands on it's filthy surface, leaning forward to try to catch their gaze.
"It matters a lot." He said gently, reaching out cautiously to their face to comfort then, or at the very least get them to look up at him once again.
"At least, to me it does." He withdrew, suddenly anxious his touch was unwelcome. "Because I don't hate you. In fact, I've come to enjoy your company."
The human's face shot up once more, their eyes wide, searching his own meticulously for any trace of sarcasm or untruthfulness.
"What?"
He felt his heart thud in his chest when their eyes locked with his. He hadn't even meant to say that last part, it had just come out of his mouth without thought, but now, he was forced to address it. He was forced to confront his feelings about them. Or, rather, his feelings for them.
Why hadn't he noticed it before? Had it happened too slowly for him to perceive the changes? Had all of their late night "investigations" into Lucifer and even later night editing sessions together caused them to rub off on him? All of the teasing they did of each other? The back-and-forth quips they exchanged as if they were playing tennis? The compliments veiled as insults? The insults veiled as compliments? Had they completely flipped his opinion of them without him even knowing?
Or had it happened all at once, when he had read confession note after confession note in their diary, crossed out and marked up and edited, not unlike how he wrote his articles, and felt his chest swell with each word? Each little thing they claimed to admire in him? Each piece of evidence that showed how much effort they had put into trying to make everything perfect? Had he been swayed in that instant, convinced, finally, that they weren't always nearby just to be a thorn in his side?
They stared at him expectantly.
"I- I..."
He suddenly couldn't find the words.
Well, that was a first. He almost laughed out loud at the ludicrousness of it. Him. At a loss for words. The very idea had never crossed his mind before. Sure, he had sometimes had to look up different ways to get his point across more eloquently, his thesaurus was sometimes his best friend, but he had never been so completely devoid of words before.
He pursed his lips, dumbfounded.
"Mephistopheles...?"
They managed to shake him out of his reverie, their voice gentle, and quieter than he had ever heard it before.
Their voice. He really liked their voice. When had that happened? They had just said his name. His full name, with their clumsy, human voice. He was supposed to hate human voices. They tended to trip over his name. But this one didn't. Why didn't they? Had they practiced? They must have. But why would they? Why had it mattered to them? After everything he had put them through, why did they even bother giving him the time of day, much less recite his name over and over to themself until they got it right?
His hands, seemingly of their own accord, drifted to their face once more.
The human, a flustered expression plastered to thdid own face, could only splutter as he brought his forehead to theirs.
"What I mean..." Mephistopheles stated, so close now to them he felt he his heart might burst, "...is this."
The last thing he saw before closing his eyes and locking his lips with theirs, was a look of pure wonder.
He burned it into his memory forever.
It was like he was desperate; the second he had given in and kissed them, he couldn't get enough. But the way they was responding to him, it seemed as if they felt the same. Their hands had hooked around his neck, pulling him as close to themself as they could with a table in between the two of them.
They tasted so sweet. Like the berries they ate throughout the day that he would poke fun at them for, seemingly the only healthy things they'd eat with regularity amidst the snacks and junk foods they enjoyed.
Their hands were exploring now, fingers combing through his undershave. But his were no different. Running up and down their neck before slowly making his way back to their face.
He wanted to stay in this moment forever, but alas, he knew they couldn't. After all, they both sadly needed to breathe.
As they parted, he realized he was the last out of the two of them to open his eyes.
They were staring at him, panting, stars in their eyes. It was enough to make his own breath hitch.
"What... Was that...?" They asked, breathlessly.
"That..." He stopped, panic creeping in. What was that, indeed? It was unlike him to suddenly lose himself like that.
He scrambled internally for a reply, some kind of excuse, a way to claim temporary insanity, anything except the truth...!
The truth.
It suddenly smacked him.
The truth, the one thing he knew he could always count on from them. His MC. His wonderfully human MC.
He loved them.
No matter how hard he tried to bury it away from himself, there was no hiding from the truth. He should have known that.
He loved them.
"...That was my own confession." He finally managed, looking down in embarrassment.
"I read page after page of yours... Which I know was wrong...!" He added hastily, "but after reading all of those kind words, and then... Reading how much you thought I hated you, I..."
He locked eyes with them again, scared of how they would react, but determined to vocalize his feelings.
"I don't hate you. MC, I adore you. I've come to realize I am absolutely smitten with you. I was just too stupid to figure it out until now."
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daisywords · 7 months
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EVERYONE HOLD UP I think I just discovered the missing piece that connects the worldbuilding and the plot and the characters and everything and surprise surprise it's an element I was considering near the wip's genesis but discarded and now it's back in full force babey
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sincerely-sofie · 8 months
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Oh My Word,,,,,
I've been learning how to use Clip Studio Paint and just had a vision of the world's most beautiful webcomic concept (according to Sofie):
PMD worldbuilding where there's a society of absurd fantasy creatures chilling and living amongst each other with no humans in sight
Ooblets dialogue, humor, and color palettes
Tamagotchi art style
Character designs inspired by all of the above (especially the absolutely adorable and extremely bizarre looking first stage + beta Pokémon designs and the little scarves the Hero and Partner always wear)
And a lighthearted slice-of-life storyline that has a cozy, low stakes atmosphere and emphasizes a cast of quirky characters and their relationships
Welp. Now I know what I'm gonna focus on after The Present is a Gift is done.
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a-shadowedvales · 1 month
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when jane's powers return in season four (and because they were regained by her confronting and accepting her past, rather than being retraumatised with it!) they're stronger than they ever were. when she starts getting a handle back on them, she very quickly comes to realise not only have they affected her, but her mother, too. one of the biggest losses that came about with her losing them was the fact that she could no longer visit terry in the void; while there was no real communication there, it did allow jane to sit with her, and gain a little more connection than she could in the real world. when she first visits the void after their return, it takes her three hours to find terry, something that is both unexpected and incredibly worrying. but when she does, it's something of a miracle. jane's increased strength and control over the void actually wakes terry up from her catatonic state, but only in the void. there's no way to help her mother physically, but she does do so (unbeknownst to her) mentally. terry is reborn in jane's newfound control over the vale of shadows; she becomes the woman she once was, and while her body remains frozen in a "good dream", her mind connected to jane's own allows her some freedom. jane is able to speak to her mother in the void, is able to be held by her, and while it's still unfair and jane cannot stay in there forever, it's something. this only lasts for about eight months, as each visit slowly begins deteriorating terry's physical and mental state, and jane's health begins declining after spending hours upon hours in the void each and every day.
when jane finds out these visits are actually killing her mother on the outside, she deems to stop, but terry expresses the importance of them being able to speak, that she'd prefer to die on the outside, if it meant she could have just a few months with her daughter like this. terry and jane's connection was always so strong, which ultimately led to terry "waking up" in the void, but even jane's newfound strength cannot save her from the harsh realities. each visit nearing the end of those eight months, terry fades more and more, becomes weaker in the void, and her real body eventually gives up. jane's in the void when her mother eventually passes on, and physically feels their connection weaken, like some part of her suddenly becomes lost in the shadows, a part she'll never find again. jane falls into a depressive state for weeks after her mother's death, given she's technically lost her a second time, but soon comes to realise she was lucky to have even shared those eight months together. it was better than nothing at all. there is a proper burial and funeral, (and when jane dies, she's buried next to her mother) which allows jane some sense of closure. she never fully recovers from losing terry, nor from the fact that she never had a proper relationship with her, but she does eventually find some peace with it all.
#study‚ in my dreams it's all real and my heart has so much to reveal.#IF U SAW ME POSTING THIS YESTERDAY. no u didn't.#i wanted to change things again (who is surprised!!) and decided to just rewrite it all rip.#me taking a few weeks off from this blog and then coming back with a brand new terry / jane hc? more likely than u think.#purely self indulgent too i might add!#every day i battle with making my terry portrayal canon to jane's timeline so jane can have her mother in every verse not just#selected ones.#but. her not having her mother is ultimately important to my writing of her and sfjasfjas >:( hate myself for it.#so here be a brand new addition to my timeline that gives jane SOME time with her mother!!! bc i need it for my mental health.#i imagine when terry dies her body turns to smoke in the void. almost like what happened to billy when jane was spying on him.#and he stopped her connection and faded in front of her.#and jane also visited terry a lot in the void because it allowed her to see more memories of her mother.#i hc that she had a real grasp on that before s3 when she looks into billy's memories.#terry (even in her catatonic state) WANTED jane to see what happened to her in hawkins lab.#so she'd want her to see the good stuff too. her childhood. andrew. her grandmother that raised her and becky.#all the good memories!#so when terry dies jane loses all that completely.#which leads to jane grappling with the conflict of whether or not she should have kept visiting terry in the void which eventually led to#her death.#because if she hadn't connected to her. she'd at least be able to look back on all those memories.#jane becomes obsessed within those months and barely speaks to anyone else.#in any free time she has. she's in the void with terry.#her own physical body grows very weak after a little while but she pays no attention to it and even gets into heated arguments with becky.#because becky is jane's carer and needs her safe and healthy. needs to look after her.#but jane is so adamant about the fact that this is her MOTHER and she's finally able to speak to her.#UGH i have so much to say abt this actually i sense a brand new addition to my timeline coming on.#ANYWAY. i'm emotional about them that is all.
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wraithsoutlaws · 1 month
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i have two fallout ocs beginning to manifest in the corners of my mind and i can't say much about them right now but. they are there....
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pagib1g · 4 months
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none of my business whether yall self ship with hazbin hotel characters or whatever, but since im seeing an influx of it (likely because of the new show) i'd like to remind yall to please boycott it (and pirate it if you must). it is being hosted on amazon, one of the BDS's pressure targets in the strike for palestine's cause– while it is acknowledged that you realistically cannot fully boycott targets like amazon (because of their monopoly over shipping), it will still be helpful to drop things sponsored by it that you ultimately do not need.
the self ship community has presented itself as an open and diverse community for years– prove it by being willing to stop giving profit to media that has a stake in hurting others.
support palestinian self shippers.
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spiderthread · 4 months
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(WIP)
*gestures to xu da like the butterfly meme* is this a hot guy?
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blackjackkent · 2 months
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what do you think wouldve happened in an alternate universe where hector let karlach become a mind flayer?
(A/N after writing this whole answer: whoops, this got out of hand, hope you're okay with an Unexpected Fic. XD Also maybe a smidge weird/dark at the end, although not a ton I hope? Certainly no more than the whole game is weird/dark. XD Anyway I hope you enjoy. <3 )
Ohhhhhhhhh.
Anon, I love you for asking me this question. <3 A very intriguing one!
And it is because I love you for asking me this question that I have braved looking up a video of Karlach actually becoming a mind flayer, which I had put off doing because I am a softheart and I knew it would hurt and also make Hector yell in my head. XD And when Hector yells in my head it's a whole thing because he does double Flurry of Blows against the inside of my skull for 140damage and it's rough enough in there already.
However! I have now watched it and done some thinks. (Hot damn, Lae'zel is MAD too, at least in the version of the scene I watched. The whole thing is very upsetting.)
Fundamentally it would be a tragedy, and not just for Karlach. Watching the way the scenes play out - there is just enough of Karlach in her speech that Hector would not want to disconnect from her. I think perhaps it touches on the same hope that kept him expecting a miracle for her heart right up until the end of the game - somehow, somehow we can make this work, somehow we will find a way...
But there is no way. This is who she is now, a creature of the Astral Sea with his love's voice and an empty place where her soul should be. And unlike the engine situation he can't even kiss her to make himself feel better because she looks like a squid.
-----
The one saving grace is, I suppose, she does seem happy enough. In the epilogue, she states that she has found a way to get brains to eat by consuming from terminally ill patients at a clinic in Baldur's Gate, people who have volunteered for the process because they are about to die anyway. And she talks about helping all of them live on by absorbing their memories and carrying them with her.
It's... sweet, in a way, Hector supposes.
He tries to keep busy. There's no battle in Avernus to occupy him in this timeline, so he primarily works with Jaheira and her kids on rebuilding. It's hard, physical work; it keeps his mind occupied. At first he sleeps at the Elfsong; later, after some nudging from Rion, Jaheira offers him lodging at her home, where he takes a hand in raising the latest crop of orphan children she is protecting. He sees Baldur's Gate start to bandage its wounds and begins to believe there was some purpose to all his struggle.
But his own wounds do not heal so easily.
He visits the clinic often. He and Karlach talk. Her voice is a slow near-monotone in her accent, unlike anything he ever heard from her before. Sometimes he can hear a twinge of her humor or a turn or phrase, and his heart leaps... but other times she speaks of things like destiny and infinite time in a way that reminds him more of the Emperor than the woman he loves.
She never laughs. She doesn't curse. There is never even the slightest mention of sex; though she still fully understands a double entendre when he makes one experimentally, she seems to take no interest in it. She seems to exist slightly beyond him, with a view of the world that is no longer of the Material Plane.
And yet... she does know him. She remembers everything - stories he told her of his childhood in the monastery, details of Selunite rituals she learned from him, quiet moments in camp he half-forgot himself. She still calls him Soldier, and sometimes Hec. She remembers her own parents; she remembers the city. There is just enough of her still in there... just enough for it to squeeze his heart.
----
One day she walks (well, floats) with him to the Singing Lute; she sits with him while he eats. They talk about the rebuilding; he points out from the balcony some of the new homes he has worked on. She is quiet for a long time. "It is good to see the place begin to live again," she says, in that strange cool slow voice that has replaced the old jocular drawl. "It's what it was all for."
He nods. "Do you regret it? Any of it?" Do you remember what we had? What we've lost?
"How could I, Soldier? The city still lives. You still live." A long pause. The old Karlach might have laughed sardonically, but there is no humor. "Even I still live, and I have grown beyond myself. What is there to regret?"
It sits like a rock in his stomach. If she is content, what more can he ask for? And yet it hurts... it hurts...
-----
Jaheira notices that he begins to withdraw back into himself, that he is quieter and more serious. She mentions it to Gale, on one of his visits to the city from Waterdeep.
"You're not wrong there," Gale agrees. "You weren't around yet, when we knew him fresh off the nautiloid. He was much more careful, then. Very controlled. The very picture of monastic stoicism - in between the panicked realization that we were all undergoing a supreme nightmare that never ended, of course. He lightened up, over the months - certainly by the time you knew him."
Jaheira purses her lips. "And this... he is returning to his old ways, you believe?"
"I don't think it would be unreasonable to assume," Gale says, with a sort of bleak humor, "that Karlach is no longer providing the same amount of compensatory levity that she used to."
-----
In the end, almost two years later, Lae'zel is the only one who speaks to him of it directly, and she is brutal - but effective.
"You have been hollowed out, she'lak," she says bluntly, on one of her rare visits from the Astral Plane. "It is a lessening of you. Do you still trail after your ghaik as if bound to her by a lead?"
"I have done much in the city since you left," Hector says, somewhat defensively.
"Chk. I do not speak of your body's business, k'chakhi. I speak of your mind. Your heart. You have lost yourself. You live only for others."
"As I was raised to do. As I have always done."
"Hector." She rarely speaks his name directly, but she does now, and it makes him jump. "You know of what I speak, and I will not have you ignore it. Your work in the city is admirable. You have cause for pride and contentment. Yet you pine after Karlach as if you hope to find her in the shell wearing her voice."
"She's still in there, Lae'zel."
"You mislead yourself," she spits. "Was it not you who taught me the strength to look beyond mindless devotion?"
That stings, and unconsciously he stands up a little straighter. "This is not mindless. It has been earned," he objects.
"Tas'ki. She is ghaik," Lae'zel says flatly. "What remains of her will dwindle, day by day. You know this as well as I." A pause. Then her eyes soften, and her voice with it. "You do not honor her sacrifice by this emptiness, Hector. Nor do you honor yourself."
He says nothing. His lips draw into a tight line. He hears her, and he does not want to.
"Think on what I tell you," she says - for all the world, now, as if she is the wise mentor and he the student in need of guidance. "You are no fool. You know I speak truth. Do not discount it."
-----
It takes a long time, but he does eventually start to come back to himself. Ten years. Twenty years. He grows old, though he loses none of his strength, his training too ingrained to allow him to weaken with age. The city reforms, stronger than ever, and he slowly begins to learn what life is, outside of both monastery and war.
He teaches self-defense to the children Jaheira rescues and others in the Lower City. He learns to (very badly) play a lute at Alfira's school. He tries his hand as a woodworker after so much carpentry work in the rebuilding of the Gate; one day, with some pride, he gifts Halsin a raggedly carved owl in return for the duck. He travels with Shadowheart several times to the House of the Moon in Waterdeep, reaffirming his faith in the light that has guided him through so much darkness.
And he reads voraciously. Everything he can get his hands on, from every library in the city. There is far more knowledge in the world, he comes to learn, than the particular cache with which he grew up.
He visits Karlach less, over time. And Lae'zel was right - there is less and less left of her each time he sees her. She is drifting away from him. And slowly he comes to terms with that - that what they had was a wonderful thing and a fleeting thing that will never come back to him. He learns to live for them both, for the life she would have had with him, had there been time.
He does not love again, though. He lived his whole life devoid of romance before he knew her, and he has little interest in trying to find it again in the years that remain to him.
For the most part, he moves on, and eventually finds himself relatively happy. But there is one last concession to sentimentality and to everything he has lost.
-----
On one bright, cold afternoon in mid-autumn, many years after the Netherbrain has faded into a bleak memory, he goes to the clinic. She is there, much as she always is; she has not seemed to age much in all these years, though the tentacles are slightly longer, a bit more nuanced in their movement.
He, though, is old; the grey dappling in his hair and beard has faded to white. His body acts as strong as ever, but time is implacable; he knows, as she once did, that he has very little left. It is a strange thing - a weakness of spirit rather than flesh, old age's deeper destruction that even the most disciplined monk cannot stave off forever. He is not dying, but he would be dead soon, likely within a few tendays.
"Hector," she says, flat and cool and almost unrecognizable, and inclines her head at him slightly. "You have settled everything?"
"Everything," he says quietly.
"You are still certain it is time?"
"Yes."
"Then we will begin." She gestures him to a secluded corner of the clinic, with a comfortable chair set up for the purpose. He settles himself there and looks up at the clinic's cracked stone ceiling and waits.
"It has been a good life," he comments, as much to himself as to her, as he waits for her to approach. "Lae'zel was right, that I had to move on. I have done much, seen much. I am proud of what we achieved - all of us."
There's a long, expectant silence. Then he leans his head back, closes his eyes. "I never stopped loving you, you know," he adds softly.
"I know," she answers, and her jaws sink into his skull.
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verflares · 1 month
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i Wish i had some degree of sewing/plushmaking powers because honestly that might be the only thing between me and diying my own light dragon plushie. if i can be so real
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theminecraftbee · 2 years
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Hello again so soon. I’m kind of just generally curious about the “redemption” part of Grian’s arc too, like, what forces them to finally confront each other’s identities? How do they Deal With it? What about the reactions of the rest of Team Scar? What is their dynamic like immediately after? What do they Do to shift it until Grian’s officially part of the Team?
(I’ve had this bit of idea hanging in the back of my mind since I first got the gist of this AU where in whatever event forces them to confront each other’s identities, Grian’s actually manages to get hurt enough that he breaks a wing, and because its not a limb he normally has, he can only partially de-transform until its healed. So he cant really leave his house at risk of his identity, and may or may not have anyone able/prepared to treat an injury like that, so he somehow (begrudgingly) ends up being cared for by Scar, forcing them to actually talk and not just hide from each other forever—)
so, the "being forced to confront each other's identities" works a bit like this currently in my head:
scar figures it out first.
he then immediately represses it, because he's still associating the enemy magical girl with being a villain, even if a villain he's trying to help. but scar figures it out. grian isn't that subtle, and while everyone else seems to be fooled by the magic, magical girls themselves are somewhat resistant to their own identity-concealing magic. so, he knows it's grian, and he refuses to know it's grian. this continues for a bit.
for a while, it becomes clear that A) grian does not actually have the same goals as the shadow organization and often disagrees with them despite working with them and B) grian is in over his head and can be redeemed. scar reaches out the most. cub actually disagrees with this for a while but after cub is possessed he mellows a bit because he Gets It more. cub's still more likely to shoot grian in this phase than try to help but you know, won't try to argue scar should stop anymore. bdubs is interestingly mixed; given that bdubs joins the team late he has a weird perspective and doesn't really Get scar's fixation but also is like yeah okay. i don't trust her but okay.
so then we start to get more stuff where grian is forced into a role where he's on the same side as scar occasionally. pearl's arrival in town is the first of these - pearl gets caught up in a monster attack and gets possessed while trying to investigate the shadow organization and grian ends up helping fight/rescue her against the shadow organization's will. he tries to do this sneakily but team scar catches on. he also starts helping civilians a bit more as he fights team scar and generally despite trying to present himself as terrifying is nearly at the end of his rope.
it becomes somewhat clear what grian's real goal is - while he agrees with the shadow organization that magic should not be re-sealed, some past experience with a freak magical accident that happened in one of the rare times magic still leaks through into the world in combination with his partner spirit being the spirit of freedom has lead grian to want the spirits to be able to run free. he wants magic back in the world in full and he wants the spirits to have some safe way to run free.
he's just... started to realize the consequences of that and is having trouble getting out of the situation of 'he has to work with the shadow organization because unlike team scar he has literally no one else to help him'. in addition, grian has thoroughly convinced himself he's a villain (a villain for a cause he believes in but a bad guy he's a bad person and he knows it) and refuses to work with team scar when scar reaches out.
this is about when grian puts two and two together and realizes that the guy at work he's becoming close friends with, scar, is also the enemy magical girl. i think grian has to actively catch scar transforming to figure it out he figures it out WAY later than scar does. unlike scar though he DOESN'T repress, he just panics, because the thing with grian is that while he hurts a lot of people and acts like he likes doing it, he actually doesn't want to hurt anyone, let alone his friends. which is why pearl was the initial catalyst for him to work with team scar in emergencies more often, and is why he's suddenly awkwardly holding back when he and scar fight.
this comes to a head when scar gets very badly injured in a spirit fight. the spirit is something like the spirit of death or something and it's bad and grian flips and drives out the spirit again (albeit without sealing it because grian can't actually do that). he saves scar's life and scar basically is like. i knew you could do it. you're one of my best friends i knew you could do better. i knew it was you, grian, i knew you were a good person.
grian flees because he Cannot Handle This. he's injured himself, so he has the conversation with doc i wrote at one point in his last conversation with the shadow organization as an ally. he gets patched up.
grian then vanishes for two weeks.
he doesn't tell his boss, he doesn't tell scar, he doesn't tell anyone, and scar is terrified. the only reason scar isn't more terrified is that no new magical warriors have come from the shadow organization or something. meanwhile grian has just like. fucked off to another city because he's had a panic attack slash crisis of faith over being called a good person and the fact that scar has known and not done anything about it what the fuck. he also sorta realizes that he doesn't like where he'd gotten stuck and starts trying to talk with the spirit of freedom, who has developed into kind of a friend, to figure out what to do with himself.
he proceeds to get captured by the shadow organization, which has managed to hunt him down and decided that, since grian clearly isn't cooperative anymore, he's a threat, and more useful to take apart and study than as a distraction for team scar now. grian proceeds to have a Bad Time for several days before being given an offer by the spirit of freedom:
grian is now powerful enough as a magical girl to transform on his own. he knows this, the shadow organization doesn't quite know this but that's because grian's refused to give it away, the spirit of freedom knows this. grian has also never been easy to possess; he wrested control from the spirit of freedom on his own, after all, way back in the beginning, in order to become a mage all on his own.
but he can still become possessed willingly.
and an actual, fully-fledged and independent magical girl being possessed is a calamity on a scale that no other possession can compare to.
grian agrees. cue madoka-inspired creature made of wings and broken cage bars basically entirely destroying the underground facility he'd been in and briefly becoming effectively a natural disaster, a 'king of monsters' arc where grian basically out of fear and anger and pain and all his conflicting emotions decides that fine, he's fully joining the side of the spirits, he's done being human he's done dealing with this. he's also pretty done being in his right mind because neither he nor the spirit of freedom are actually capable of fully handling the resulting power of "spirit fully possessing a magical locus as powerful as grian had gotten at that point".
team scar has to fight him and also talk him down enough for grian to manage to claw back enough right mind to separate from the spirit of freedom, but also to want to. combination fight scenes and VERY emotional final conversations and also i think scar just completely detransforms in front of grian and is like "no more secrets all this laid bare now come on please let me help you, you were right i don't actually think all magic should be sealed anymore but i also don't think what you're doing now is right, you are hurting people and you are hurt and this isn't you".
scar manages to talk grian down from being a pure calamity and then spirits him away to a hiding place where he can stay safe while team scar tries to figure out what the fuck to do now.
for the record, even after ALL OF THIS i think cub doesn't fully trust grian. bdubs trusts that grian is too much of an emotional and physical wreck when he first switches sides to do anything but cub's like. have you seen some of the stunts this lady has pulled. i am not keeping my eyes off of her. and grian knows he has some SERIOUS work to do to get people's trust again especially after what just happened.
and this leads into team scar finally doing a full assault on the (now much more damaged) shadow organization like this is the last arc before that happens i think lol
subject to change of course if other people have good ideas i REALLY like your idea too i just had the very dramatic image of grian, king of monsters, for a while now and so that's definitely happening.
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Sips juice box. I like to think the hexsquad start a garage band (goreage band on the boiling isles) briefly post-canon.
Raine taught all of them how to play (Amity on bass and usually vocals, Luz and Hunter on lead and rhythm guitar respectively, Gus on keys/synths and Willow on drums) and shows up to all their practices and the small shows they get to do (things like classmates' birthdays, big festivals/town parties celebrating Belos and the Collector's defeats after the fact, left-hand relief effort fundraisers and dubiously legal music festivals held in the backwoods of latissa).
Raine hypes each and every one of them the FUCK up and spends hours giving them all pointers on their individual instruments and how to play as a unit and, like, listen. Raine is not a parental figure to any of them, really. They just don't have that kind of connection to anyone but King as their step son. But the kids all think Raine is cool as fuck and they crave positive encouragement in their lives. They love Raine. They'd die for Raine. Kill for Raine. Try new tunings and time signatures for Raine (VERY scary). They like being in a band cause it's an excuse to goof off together, express themselves and experiment with a different type of magic, but most of all, they love being in a band bc the middle aged political dissident fucking their friend's adoptive mom is just really goddamn supportive of them.
Nothing particularly noteworthy comes from the band (you guys can suggest fun names for them that are more creative than "the hexsquad"). It truly is just a thing on the side they do for fun and they all have individual careers and hobbies they're far more interested in (Gus is a teaching assistant at Eda's school (qualified to be full time but not allowed to bc of his age, has to wait a few more years), Amity is a field researcher and budding archeologist, Willow is going pro with sports, Hunter is carving and Luz is pursuing higher education).
The most that happens with it is they record a low quality CD (or magic CD equivalent) of demos and covers they put together (Luz and Willow are the main song writers for the group. Both had a lot of angsty pre-teen poetry they work shopped and repurposed for lyrics) that ended up being sold out of the back of Steve's motorcycle (his main career besides burger flipping and baby sitting, all of which makes him infinitely more happy than the emperor's coven ever did).
Raine not only bought a copy of the CD (despite having already heard them play every song before and having been the one to help them record it in the first place) they purchase a copy for ALL of their parents/extended family (Eda, King, Perry, the Parks, Darius, Camila, Gwen and Dell- everyone). Years after the band unofficially dissolves (re: the kids got actual jobs and started having to deal w/ life as adults), Raine still listens to that CD bc they're just so damn proud of their kids.
#ramblings of a lunatic#the owl house#toh#hexsquad#luz noceda#willow park#amity blight#hunter toh#gus porter#raine whispers#hi. this is one of (if not my most!) self indulgent hcs EVER#I'm not even a Serious Musician™ I'm a self taught guitarist who occasionally listens to songs and fantasizes about being in a band#but i for some reason am addicted to analysing what instruments i think characters would play and what they'd be like in a band#idk man it's just fun as hell. i love it#explanations behind each of the instrument choices (besides general vibes) keeping in mind i only play guitar-#i think Amity would've started her music career learning bits of classical piano as a child#before her mom cut her off so she could focus on academics#so when she was older she had a bit of music experience but ultimately chose bass as it was edgier and less stuffy#she's not an amazing basist i think? she's good but she's not a huge fiend for technique. lots of simple punk and indie bass lines#manny played guitar and showed luz bits and pieces when she was young. her experience is no formal education#just a lot of noodling around and learning by ear#hence she's on lead bc she never learned chords#hunter struggles with a lot of fine motor skills tasks in my mind (sewing is his practice for this) so he's more content on rhythm#he's a big bar chords enjoyer but Raine tries to get him to try more versatile open chords out of his comfort zone#gus loooves the customization and sci-fi energy of a synth but in order to play synth he had to learn keys first#Amity showed him some basic chords and exercises and pretty soon he surpassed her despite being self taught#she's only a little bitter about this. mostly she's happy for him. Luz calls him baby mozart. he doesn't get it#finally WILLOW!! she had a baby drumset as a young kid so she could get some energy and aggression out#but the parks' neighbors gave them noise complaints and she stopped after feeling she wasn't progressing with it (couldn't do spells)#she likes it a lot! she feels like the foundation of the performance in a lot of ways and likes being important w/o being a showboat
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jordblod · 9 months
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whats up lads tonight i'm thinking about how so much of me being "special" as a kid was just. me being trans. and how it used to be this kind of undefined thing my f*ther liked about me bc to him i was someone who was confident in "doing my own thing" and not being like others etc when actually it had nothing to do with that. and as time went on it became more and more defined and i turned out to be "different" in a way he never could have imagined and suddenly he didn't know how to talk to me like geez alright sorry i couldn't be ur average quirky kid who just slightly bends the rules of social norms for fun or whatever
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honeydots · 9 months
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One of my favorite things about Xander is the way he just keeps adopting people. Xander tries to be stand offish but then he sees someone a bit childish and immediately adopts them. Besides his own siblings, he also picks up Peri, Laslow (in the beginning of their relationship), Veronica in Heroes, and Takumi in Warriors.
If you haven't seen the Takumi and Xander support in Warriors, definitely look it up. It is really interesting to see how Takumi responds to Xander's approach to getting him to not over train himself versus Ryoma's approach to getting him to not over train himself.
HE'S A BIG BROTHER AT HEART!!! and in every other way ghdjfsjb i think abt how he just started hanging out with veronica in heroes all the time. and that support with takumi was sweet!!! of course it was about training, these dopes. something i rly like abt xander is how readily he'll talk abt his failures sometimes--in a way that he recognizes they helped pave the path leading to where he is now. and relaying those failures to others to try and help (in this case, to takumi) is just. SO big brother of him. ;w; onii-san!!!!
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