#but this is mine for what it's worth

[trek-tracks]

What generic wisdom and/or life advice do you have? Here's an acorn for your trouble: 🌰

Oh, goodness! Talk about an intimidating ask.

When I think about existence, two quotations always come to my mind from authors who have been important to me at various stages of my life.

The first, from Kurt Vonnegut's God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater:

Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies — "God damn it, you've got to be kind."

The second, the last line from Robertson Davies' final novel, The Cunning Man:

“This is the Great Theatre of Life. Admission is free, but the taxation is mortal. You come when you can, and leave when you must. The show is continuous. Goodnight.”

These are two thoughts by which I've tried to lead my life.

The first lesson is kindness.

As an educator and person in a certain position of power over people's learning journeys, I'd like to say that kindness costs me nothing. That's not true. Kindness costs me late nights, extra review sessions, letting people hand in assignments in ways that are detrimental to my own time and stress. Connecting with so many people on a daily basis can be emotionally exhausting.

If there's one thing I have worked on more and more in my life (and need to continue to work on), it's walking the fine line between being kind and being taken advantage of.

However, I operate from the following perspective:

Everyone is having a difficult time, and there are things in other people's lives that are not "dreamt of in my philosophy," so to speak.

This perspective makes my life richer. I have never understood people who rigidly stick to a "one size fits all" mindset. I listen to people. I prioritize the person over the dropbox deadline. I say nice things to my family, my friends, my colleagues, my students, when I can. I practice grace in most things.

This also means that, when I do draw a boundary (for example, in my work as a professor, I do not tolerate plagiarism once I have very clearly taught what it entails), people can see that there is a clear difference between my usual practice of grace, and my ethical framework. It also means that people are more likely to extend me grace in return. I need it. We all do.

The second lesson is passion.

This is the Great Theatre of Life. We don't get to choose much about it, but we do get to shape the show.

I was talking to a former student the other evening, after I came across him in the lobby after my Lord of the Rings performance. He said to me that I was one of the few faculty he'd had that wasn't cynical or jaded yet, which is why he'd enjoyed my class.

The funny thing is, that's not entirely true.

In many ways, I'm very cynical. A fellow faculty member once said of me, in an approving tone, that I was "impressively jaded for one so young." Look. I'm Jewish. I'm bi. I'm disabled (in the chronic often invisible illness way). I know what the world can dish out, and I can kvetch with the best of them. But that's mostly because I want to believe we can do better. In any case, I can only control myself. I can do better.

First, I want everyone I teach to know that reading, writing, critical thinking, loving language, loving literature and theatre, are all things they can do, even if those gates have seemed barred. Opening these gates together can help them. I like to break things down as clearly and succinctly as possible. I don't expect people to show enthusiasm for something if I'm not showing it myself. Do I sometimes get super-mega-frustrated with the results I'm getting? Of course. There are parts of my job and my life that suck. Do I throw myself into things head-first with enthusiasm anyway? Always.

I do the things I love. I see tons of theatre. I make theatre. I sing (even if you "can't" sing, find time to do it anyway). I tell stories. I spend time with friends. If I have a choice to go to the thing or stay home, I go to the thing. I support my friends. I make people LAUGH, because I love that more than anything. I curl these things around me like a warm cat on a lap. And I try not to get jaded by the offerings around me, no matter how many shows I go to or how many papers I read. (I don't always succeed.) Can you imagine, though, how amazing it is to have a life where you're in danger of getting jaded simply by the sheer amount of art on offer?

Four years ago, a student came to me after the second week of my rhetorical analysis class. She told me that she had dropped the course with other faculty twice because she was intimidated by it. We were talking about one of the course readings for the week, which was a 35-year-old essay by a now-dead white man (everything she was not) with very strong opinions on the need to properly state your ideas in exactly the correct words to prove you were thinking.

She said, about the reading, “I didn’t understand it when I read it and thought I was stupid. But then, when you said it might not have been written with me in mind, I felt better. And then, when you broke it down and I understood it, I liked how much I liked that feeling.” Then she said something that made me cry in my office: “Things happen for a reason. I had to drop that class twice so I could meet you.”

She came to office hour after office hour. We spent time working on her writing and discussing what her particular frame of reference brought to her understanding of each week's readings.

She had dropped the course twice because she "couldn't do it."

She left with an A.

She left with a new sense of agency over her own experience of the wonder of the world.

What does it cost to be kind, and to love things?

What do we gain?

This is the Great Theatre of Life. All we can do is put on a show of kindness, watching with wonder before we depart.

#not trek #my life #teaching #professor life #education #life advice #kindness #passion #learning love and laughter #sounds like a platitude on the side of a plate #and in many ways it is #general life advice is always kind of a set of platitudes #but this is mine for what it's worth #robertson davies #kurt vonnegut #long post

[orindusc]

THE WALTEN FILES 4 - CyberFun Tech

#the walten files #the walten files 4 #edd walten #molly walten #hooray idk what to tag this as #but this was absolutely worth the wait i had to gif something not too spooky before sleep lol #we love parallels #poor babies tho omg #*mine

[stuckinapril]

It really is so true that you never know what someone’s going through behind closed doors. I’ve made being gentle and kind my default bc I’ve had super put together friends disclose the most harrowing time of their lives to me and it’s like oh?? You were going through that???? I would’ve never guessed

#It’s easy to reduce people to side characters or caricatures but you never know. You truly never know what someone’s going through or what #Could push them over the edge. Cruelty will never be worth potentially causing someone permanent damage #I’ve realized this after having a conversation w a friend of mine who sailed straight to med school #Tons of leadership roles #Thriving social life #Yet she just told me her hair was falling out from anxiety. Never in a million years would I have guessed that she was struggling #But she was and lots of people play things close to their chest like that #I really wanna be kind each time I can and to also come from a place of compassion #Bc ik I’ve been misunderstood by people before who reduced me to a caricature or just didn’t know what was happening in my life #I want to actively work on extending the benefit of the doubt to the same people I would want to extend the benefit of the doubt to me

[feelingbatty]

idk if this is going to make sense to anyone except me but this is the easiest way to describe the difference between jason and tim’s characters

#like i'm specifically thinking of reverse robins red hood vs canon red hood but i think it holds more generally #batman #batfam #jason todd #tim drake #robin #red hood #red robin #and all the other things tim has gone by but i'm not tagging those #they're peak millennial vs get z energy except in regards to self worth/expectations of love you know what i mean #mine #1k #2k #5k

[vivenecii]

Last drawing this year, did traditional to celebrate. It was fun to play with the light situation here.

#that's what I did instead of studying #and I have just two free days left #I'll speedrun my uni notes #it was worth it though #fanart #traditional #good omens #aziraphale #michael sheen #artists on tumblr #do you have any new year resolutions? #mine is to learn to take breaks #weekly theme on GO reference library discord

[tolerateit]

i have to remind myself to breathe sometimes. | im all apart.

#meg talks #the bear #Succession #Kendall Roy #carmy berzatto #For what it's worth kendall wouldn't make it 0.08 seconds as a chef but they have that sadness in their eyes I can't stop thinking about #jeremy allen white #jeremy strong #mine*

[waywardted]

You ever wonder why we’re here?

#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #tedlassoedit #flashing gif #m*ne #mine: lasso #teddy boy #k i think I’ve sort of gathered my thoughts a little #if this set even makes sense lol #he's just so unmoored.... (can't remember what he used to fight for) #(taylor always relevant) #but i feel like they've seeded all these little reminders of why he came and why he's stayed #that there's this community of people who need and value him #that there are things worth striving for #'you ever wonder why we're here coach?' #'in london or on earth?' #'well both i guess' #who is he after burning himself down last season??? what gives his life purpose and meaning now? #i'm excited to find out!!!

[marimbles]

does anyone else obsessively scroll through their own art tag or reread their own fics scrutinizing every detail and trying to determine whether it’s Actually Good or not or am I just a freak lol

#I’m always staring at my art like ‘ok if I were just scrolling and came across this piece and it wasn’t mine would I think it was good #would I look at my stuff and think I was worth following #as if it EVEN MATTERS !! #‘good’ is subjective and all art has value bc it is a creative expression of meaning to the artist! #what’s this bs part of my brain that wants so badly to Be Really Good at things like I’m having a nice time isn’t that enough for u. omg #me rereading my own fics: how would I rate this on a scale of 1 to 10. if I weren’t me would I click out or keep reading #puts myself in a chokehold. literally get over urself bro

[thestarlessdark]

The scene where Mitsuri's parents secretly watch her as she dyes her hair black in order to look like an acceptable bride is a scene I think about a lot.

The look of sheer pain and sadness on their faces feels like a punch in the gut to me, mainly because I've never encountered any parent who actually cares that much about their child. In fact, I nearly cried when I first saw that scene.

Where I live, first impressions are everything. If you mess up in front of others, you are seen as a disappointment and parents can go to almost any length to make their children seem like perfect angels in public, going as far as pressuring them to hide their true self and craft a more palatable persona for others to interact with.

Mitsuri's parents are the opposite of this. They love her for who she is and are never seen telling her to 'act like a lady,' which is amazing considering the time KNY takes place in. They are anguished instead of thrilled when they see Mitsuri trying to cover up her real personality.

Seeing parents truly love their child for who they are will never feel boring or overdone for me, considering how rare it is in real life.

#unfortunately most of what i said about parents in my country comes from experience #sure mine aren't as bad as most of the others but they've certainly done a lot of damage my self-worth and mental health #plus it's really annoying when people don't take mitsuri's trauma seriously and boil her down into a 'boy-obsessed romantic' #character analysis #sort of #mitsuri's parents #mitsuri kanroji #mitsuri #demon slayer mitsuri #kny mitsuri #kny kanroji #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kny

[petrichorium]

pluvi begging you to expand on gojo not wanting what happened to his mother to happen to you 🙏

warnings: it’s all a dream so nothing is real aside from the flashback stuff but pregnancy as horror, (sewing) needles, implied gore/eye trauma, implied child harm, gojo is messed up yo!!! and its bc of his mama!!!

he dreams about her.

it’s an odd thing, really. gojo isn’t much of a dreamer—not much of a sleeper, all things considered, but it’s difficult not to give in when you drag him to bed and curl up in his arms. the soft rise and fall of your chest, the steady thump of your heart, the sound of your breath; it soothes him into slumber.

and he dreams about her. she was always young. he’s older now than she ever got to be. frail, thin; borderline skeletal, robes hanging from her body like webbing. she sits in a chair facing a window, swathed in moonlight, the silver of her embroidery needle glinting with each stab. her face is veiled. her stomach is swollen with child.

she doesn’t turn to him, but she beckons without noise. his feet take him easily to her, and he kneels at her side as she sets aside the embroidery hoop to let him place his head on her knees.

her hand is cold as it threads through his hair. it’s gentle, at first. then harsher a moment later. she grips firm, tugs him up by those electric white threads, stares down at him through all that elaborate lace.

he imagines she’s weeping beneath it. his mother never wept before him, but she was pretty in the aftermath, eyes puffy and pink and shining. they were a cold kind of loving when they regarded him. she must have been beautiful once, elegant and lithe and willowy, cruel like the heartless sea and sharp like a brilliant diamond, but whatever was there is long gone. he thinks all sons must empty their mothers, bleed them dry from within, because his was always a shell.

she trails her hand down the side of his face, and he turns into the palm and closes his eyes, and she is silent as she sets down her embroidery to lift her veil. she is silent and hollow and eidolic as her fingers brush down his jaw and tilt his head up to look at her.

but it’s your face that he sees when he opens his eyes.

it’s your hand against his cheek, your eyes pink and puffy and pretty, your stomach bulging by his own doing. it’s your fingers that pluck up the needle, still attached to a thread of brilliant cerulean, and raise it to his eye.

his mother never was able to pierce him with that needle. she stopped herself, each and every time, dropping it and tugging him close in shame. she never doted, never was kind, but she never did manage to harm him.

you do. he lets you. it’s only fair. whatever thing is in your stomach can’t be human—whether god or demon what does it matter, at the end of the day—and didn’t he put it in you himself? if his mother never got the satisfaction of spilling his blood, shouldn’t you?

but he wakes just as the tip pierces his iris, and you hold him in your lap, eyes wide with concern and not puffy from weeping, and you hold no child within you. your hands thread through his hair and they’re warm, your lips plush when you bend to press a kiss to his brow.

he turns inward to press his face into your (empty, blissfully vacant) abdomen. the wetness he leaves there, falling from his so very coveted eyes, is colorless.

he thinks it ought to be brilliant crimson.

#ask.🌧 #saintshigaraki #cw.pregnancy #cw.child abuse #cw.trauma #cw.gore #cw.needles #char.🌧 gojo #mine.🌧 #no children #tags will have some discussion of harming others & oneself as well as poor mental health in general pls be aware #i hope u like it beloved i am suddenly very self-conscious abt this one #there were originally more examples of her nearly-harming him but i ended up rewriting the snippet to focus on the needle thing #but in my head she...... had fits where she seriously considered maiming him but stopped herself #getting very close to it in many instances #idk. to me she was MEAN and stoic and gojo's obsession with her made his doting aunties and grannies beyond furious. thats what i think #and the only reason his clan kept her around was bc she was the only thing that could stop his tantrums #bc she was ambitious and cruel and she really did fight for him when needed. she could be scary. they rlly wanted her gone #n e way. ty for ur patience i hope it was worth the wait JKHADBFV

[midnight-specialist]

Haven’t seen the Barbie movie but my fav thing about this whole thing has to be that more and more women are now choosing to dump their tatebro bfs that they should’ve left a long ass time ago. I’m so fucking here for it.

#upgrade #feminism #I love when women realize they’re worth so much more than what they’re getting #mine #about relationships #barbie #barbie movie #phenomenon

[tim-lucy]

CHENFORD IN EVERY EPISODE: 5.12 “Death Notice” “Lucy and I started dating a few weeks ago. I suspected as much.”

#the rookie #therookieedit #chenford #chenfordedit #tucy #lucy x tim #tim bradford #lucy chen #otp: doing my job #* #mine: gif #mine: the rookie #meme: chenford in every episode #well this took my entire life #but worth it #what they deserve!! #the next one this big will be their wedding #i say that but who knows i'm unhinged

[chuthulhu-reads]

[ID: Two panels from Dungeon Meshi. The first scows Senshi clutching his face as tears start to spill out of his eyes, saying, "I've always... always wanted to have this soup one more time." He's not wearing his helmet in this panel, so his face is unusually visible, detailed and vulnerable. The second panel shows himself as a youngster, surrounded by his old mining team, all smiling at each other, one of them rubbing Senshi's head. Modern-day Senshi continues, "Thank you. All of you. Thank you." End ID.]

Holy shit. I anticipated some tragic backstory from the "I must feed the young ones" panels, but what I'd guessed was that Senshi might have become so devoted to cooking and eating literally whatever because he'd previously survived a famine and had seen children starve to death. I did not expect him to have been the child who was the sole survivor of a doomed travel party, one of whom was determined to feed Senshi first because he was the youngest, and that Senshi has lived with the fear of having inadvertently committed cannibalism by eating stew that he'd never quite known the contents of. I'm happy for him that Laios deduced and confirmed for him that it was griffin meat, that he was able to taste the meal that saved his life once more and remember the friends he lost. Seriously, I'm crying, and also earnestly relieved that while his backstory is pretty dark, it's not the type of fucked up I'd been preparing myself mentally for.

#Dungeon Meshi #Delicious in Dungeon #Dunmeshi #though it IS really worth exploring the ethics of cannibalism in survival situations #The podcast You're Wrong About has a really interesting pairing of episodes #in the Donner Party and Flight 571 Crash episodes #Both about disasters in which people wound up eating their dead to survive #and an interesting connection they drew was that it wasn't the cannibalism itself #that destroyed the lives of the Donner survivors #it was the horror and disgust and societal rejection they got for having eaten human flesh #even the children who had no idea what they were eating were treated with revulsion #and this is clearly the response Senshi feared facing if anybody knew what he'd eaten #But Flight 571 like a century later #the survivors were faced with a lot of understanding when rescued #relatively little condemnation and revulsion #by and large commentators acknowledged that they did what they had to do #and sympathized with how difficult and painful it must have been #which is what Senshi gets from his party #Laios wants to figure out the truth because he knows it's hurting Senshi not to know #But at one point Marcille straight up says that none of them would think less of Senshi if he did eat dwarf stew #Okay so this is Marcille 'ardent student of blood magic' Donato #but Chilchuck agrees #anyway I think that would be a particularly interesting conversation to have in a cooking manga #how do you safely eat a dead friend when that's all you have to survive on? #what are the nutritional benefits other than 'better than starving'? #what are the risks? There's prion diseases and all sorts you can get #they write it off as eating the dragon part but they DO spend seven days eating Falin at the end #ARE there any in/famous cannibalism cases in this world? #Do peopel argue about whether or not it's cannibalism if a dwarf eats a tallman? #enquiring minds (mine) want to know

[mitamicah]

Bunny boy Kris Guštin ^V^ 🐇

#and now to something less self indulgent x'D #I did tell you I'd probably do the rest of the dtiys sketches as well at some capacity :3 #and since it is kris' birthday in four days I felt like doing the two kris centric ideas x'D #maybe this way I can also become more confident drawing him x'D #for what it's worth I quite enjoy how he turned out here :3 #very cute and pretty ^V^ #kris guštin #joker out #mine #my own art

[morethangodlovesthem]

the north water, “we men are wretched things”

#the north water #mine #for what it's worth #there's only 5 eps of this show so i'm just trying to watch it closely all today

[panncakes]

“I thought love was war. I didn’t know it was supposed to... I didn’t know it was supposed to be peace.”

c. taylor jenkins reid

#manner of death #modedit #tanbunn #mine* #maxtul #back on my bs #something something about how tan has only ever known conditional love from his family #getting scraps of it only when he proved useful #something something about how the only person he was genuinely close with suffered deeply because of her love #something something about bunn showing up and giving him unconditional support and care and love even when he doesn't deserve it #something something about bunn teaching him love is strength not weakness no matter what his brother tells him #how even when the world is dark and scary; there is still warmth and comfort and softness #and it's love that's worth fighting for always #yeah two years later im still totally normal about them hbu?