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dollfaceksj · 8 months

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GIRL THE WAY ID BE THROWING UP IF I GOT THAT MESSAGE 😭😭 LIKE WDYM "COME OUT"?? no hello how are you jus straight to the point

well let’s see what tae has to say!

i’ve been brainstorming this lore since like the 2nd or 3rd drabble. it’s rlly sad guys. i just love angst too much. you have been WARNED. i took out some of it bc to me it was a little too much lmao. a little too dark. the too dark stuff might come back later. its just details. so yeah. i took out a bit of the sadness but its still sad. uve been warned.

going to sleep right after this so scream at me all u want. 😘

taste of a poison paradise | jjk (m) #18

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‘Come out’

COME OUT

worry is already bubbling up the back of your throat

you turn to jungkook. “what the fuck do i do?”

“calm down,” he whispers, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. “pretend you’re asleep.”

you shake your head. “that’s gonna make it more obvious. what if he comes all the way here and continues to try and wake us up and then he’ll see the state of this damn tent when we open up?” you say while sliding on your shoes

jungkook clicks his tongue as he contemplates. “alright, whatever you do, just don’t admit, alright? we’re not exactly in an area where we have hospitals and stuff.”

you nod to what he’s saying but his last words snap you out of it

???

your heart is already starting to beat quicker than it should

“hospital??? why a hospital??? you think he’s gonna get violent?”

he shakes his head. “i’m not explicitly saying that, i’m just saying someone could get hurt whether that’s through a fight or by accident. like he could get angry and trip or hit something with his fist. we don’t exactly have anything here to take care of him.”

you blink at him for a few moments as you start tugging your pants back up and try to fix your hair

he’s so?? calm about that

he knows tae would be angry and try to fight him but he’s calm to keep you calm

he adds, “just calm down, okay? i’ll be near if you need me.”

you shake your head. “no, you need to stay far away from me when i’m talking to taehyung.” you start to unzip the tent and glance back at him

just in time to watch him yank his condom off

ugh gross

you groan, “what are you going to do with that thing!!!”

“i don’t know!!! what am i supposed to do????”

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

at least he’s funny 😭😭

“y/n,” he calls out to you before you exit the tent

you turn to look at him over your shoulder

“just breathe.”

the words are so insignificant

but in this moment

they mean so much

you nod your head. you slowly crawl out and look around, the only thing that has some light is the campfire but if you squint

you see tae’s silhouette by the campfire

you take a deep breath

you can do this

you can do this.

you slowly walk up to him, watching as his figure becomes bigger and bigger until he looks up at you

“hey,” you quietly say

your hands are sweating like fucking crazy

“hey.” he rises to his feet. “come,” he says as he starts walking away from the campfire

and

away from civilians…..

where is he taking you??

why are you so nervous

just calm down

don’t get it wrong though

you’re not scared of tae, never will be

on the contrary actually he’s your home

but the tension is weird.

you quietly follow him

“where are we going?” you quietly ask

the crunching of the branches underneath your feet and the sounds of beetles making noise fill up your ears

he replies, “somewhere private, obviously.”

what the hell

what the HELL?

what’s up with him

WHAT IS GOING ON

everyone’s asleep? why would u need privacy

now you’re starting to get scared

not of him but of what he has to say

fuck

your heart is beating out of control

just breathe. breathe. jungkook said to breathe.

tae stops near the open road, leaning against a tree

you look at him confused

you start, “sooo… what did you want to talk about?”

he crosses his arms.

as if you’re supposed to know

you frown

huh???

what is going on?

fuck

have you and jungkook been too obvious after all?

you manage to collect yourself and ask, “what?”

he pinches his brows together. “jungkook.”

heart

freefalls to your feet

oh shit

oh no

“what about him?” you try to sound casual

he tilts his head to the side. “did you forget? i was going to tell you about him.”

wait

oh shit

oh he’s talking about

jungkook being sensitive???? going through a lot??

OH PHEWWWWW

Holy shit

thought it was about to be your last day on earth

“oh. oh!” you snap out of your thoughts. “yeah, right. right. what’s going on?”

taehyung takes a deep breath as he starts talking about jungkook

“listen. jungkook has a lot of issues and emotional baggage that you need to take into consideration when you say certain stuff to him.”

hm?

what…

this sounds..

pretty dark?

“what do you mean?”

he sighs and rubs his eyes. “i mean that you’re a bit harsh on him sometimes. jungkook grew up in a messy household. shitty dad. busy mom.”

oh right

his mother is a sensitive topic

you say, “okay, that’s sad but a lot of people grow up in broken homes.”

he nods. “you’re right but a lot of people react differently to trauma.”

ohhh kay

we getting into trauma territory ???

“and how does he react?”

“after witnessing his parents arguing and in physical altercations, jungkook decided that romance was nothing for him because he associates marriage and love with what he saw growing up.”

you blink at him.

that’s actually kinda sad

you wonder how young jk was during these things :(

poor guy

“so, how’s his relationship with his parents now? does he still talk to his mom?”

he shakes his head. “his mother passed away. dad didn’t even show up to the funeral. made 15 year old jungkook go through it all on his own.”

(backstory for that is even sadder so i took it out.. might come later)

if you’ve ever felt like your heart imploded within your ribs

it was in this exact moment

the birthflower tattoo :(

you glance at the ground. “what about his dad?”

“his piece of shit dad only throws money at him. he’s rich so he thinks pumping jungkook’s bank account full of money is a good way of raising him.”

that’s why

“oh. that’s why he always seems to have money but is never working a job…” you think out loud

taehyung nods his head at your epiphany

you continue, “and always wearing seemingly expensive clothes. his sneakers, the calvin klein boxers… hm.” you nod your head

he nods again but slowly stops. “what?”

???

“what?” you echo

“how do you know what kind of boxers he wears?”

fuck

oh no

you blink quickly. “what?”

he stares you down head-on. “you just said he wears calvin klein. how do you know that? what situation would you need to be in in order to know that?”

fuck

oh god

just calm down

jungkook said to stay calm and breathe

don’t admit

“tae, i share a tent with him. you think he shyly hides his shit away from me when he takes clothes out of his bag? he doesn’t really care.”

wow

you really just talked shit and it worked

cause tae’s frown subsides

“oh okay.” he rubs his chin. “well, now you know why jungkook is looking for affection anywhere he can get it because he doesn’t really care for romance.”

“oh,” you manage to say, a bit choked up. because that’s. really sad.

ugh

“he was once head over heels for a girl. it’s like she made him forget about everything.”

made him forget about everything

“he swears she cheated on him but she’s adamant on the fact that they were never really together. it also added onto why jungkook doesn’t get romantically involved with people. he genuinely thinks it’s nothing for him.”

so jungkook is convinced that love just isn’t for him

but then he goes out and disguises his need for love and affection as sex and quick fucks

man

you do actually feel guilty about calling him a fuckboy now

he’s still a fuckboy

but :( u should stop saying it to his face :(

and now knowing about his mom :(

you wonder what happened…

like you really don’t need to know that

knowing she’s dead is enough

but knowing how she died makes it easier for you to talk about certain topics around jungkook

but

that’s too dark for now

however

thinking about young jungkook

associating something as beautiful as love

with something as horrible as a broken home

hm?

what’s that?

you’re melting

your hard shell is cracking

you just

want to hold him now :(

give him the affection he so desperately desires :(

but should you feed into it?

clearly it’s not healthy for him

you know if you’ll keep sneaking around with jungkook

he might get attached

and you don’t like jungkook like that

so you’d have to break his heart

again

this is so messy

you need to call it quits with jungkook while you still can

“so just,” he sighs quietly, “i know he’s a bit of a player but he just craves affection. and seeing you two constantly bickering and being mean to each other, i just want y’all to get along. maybe even form the same type of bond you and i have. he should get affection in other ways, not just through sex, you know? you could be like,” he says as he thinks for a moment, “his big sister.”

oh for fucks sake.

this just

you’d rather tae find out about you and jungkook than assume y’all have a sibling-like bond 😭😭😭

like yeah

you and tae are very sibling like

because of tae’s responsibility to you

but if he starts thinking you and jungkook are just *gag* SIBLINGS *gag*

oh this is sickening

you slowly nod your head to what he’s saying but you wish you never heard any of it

you mumble, “let’s go back, we have to get up early.”

“okay. anything else you wanna tell me now that we have all the privacy in the world?” he says in a joking tone

you shake your head. “no, not really.”

he pauses. “really?”

???

“what?” you say

he frowns at you. “i give you the opportunity to come clean right now and you don’t?”

holy shit

what the fuck

oh shit

does he know??? he knows??????

oh no

does he actually think something is going on between you and jungkook?

fuck FUCK

he crosses his arms as he sternly stares you down.

don’t admit

you finally say, “what are you talking about?”

“i’m talking about you and yoongi.”

oh right

oh yoongi…

yeah…. yoongi

you quietly sigh. “i was planning on telling you, i really was. but i don’t know, stuff just kept getting in the way.”

he nods in understanding and pulls you in for a big hug. “it’s okay. i know you’re in good hands.”

you huff. “it’s nothing serious, tae.”

he looks down at you in his arms. “i don’t like that.”

“taehyung, i’m a grown woman,” you say as you roll your eyes

“i know but i don’t wanna be the bearer of bad news back home, okay? just be careful.”

more tae & reader lore coming soon

what is he even saying…

bad news

a broken heart?

a pregnant belly?

a bad academic year?

none of those things are going to happen. trust

you roll your eyes. “nothing bad is going to happen.”

“anything could happen, y/n.” he presses a kiss to the top of your head before releasing you. “now, let’s go back.”

“okay.”

he leads you back to the camping site and walks you to your tent. “goodnight.” he rubs your shoulder before heading back to his tent

and now

you have

to face

him.

you take a deep breath as you crawl back into the tent, jungkook’s back is turned to you

is he asleep?

you’re not sure

you slowly crawl back to your space after zipping the tent back up

“what did he want to talk about?”

jungkook’s voice makes you flinch

he’s awake

“oh,” you blink at his back. “yoongi. he wanted to talk about yoongi.”

lie after lie after lie after lie after lie

he turns onto his back and glances at you, neither of you can see much anyway

“do you want to continue?”

you shake your head. “no, not really. it kind of,” you say as you recall everything taehyung just told you. “ruined my mood.”

“okay.” he slowly crawls over your body and out the tent

“what are you doin–”

“getting rid of the evidence, duh.”

evidence????

the damn condom😭😭😭😭

he’s so fucking annoying

but

you kinda want to hold him now. :(

would he be weirded out

if you

cuddled him?

he probably never cuddles any of his little hookups

but

aren’t you different?

by the time jungkook has returned

you’ve crawled back into his sleeping bag

he doesn’t say anything about it as he crawls in with you

he turns his back to you and seemingly tries to go to sleep

you slowly scoot closer

and closer

until you’re pressed up against him.

“you’re really close, y/n.”

“i know, i’m sorry. i just,” you whisper, “don’t feel so good.”

he doesn’t say anything about it

just like he doesn’t say anything when you wrap your arm around his waist

and press your face into the back of his neck

and place your hand on his chest

the soft thumping of his heart against your hand

you just want him to feel loved :(

“you’re so warm,” you whisper as you close your eyes

for someone who tries to act cold… he’s really warm

so warm

“i could just,” you continue, “lie next to you for the rest of my life.”

now that you think about it

there’s wordplay

cause this could mean two different things

literally lying next to each other, in a bed or whatever

but lying next to him, lying about sneaking around, lying about wanting each other

cause it seems like you’ll be lying about it for the rest of your life at this rate

however

he doesn’t say anything yet again

and it allows you to shut the fuck up

and try to fall asleep

and you do

you’re dozing off

cause you don’t remember him saying these next few words

“i could too.”

to be continued

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