#but these two are so unhinged together lmfao

[oceanlipgloss]

9.1.2024

—nsfw

Once again, I braved a battle of screaming abominations angels to unlock yet another H-scene: Mammon's! I honestly feel bad that this is going to happen behind Satan's back, but it's probably better that way. So! Without further ado, let's gooooo

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ´ˎ˗

intro: sir Mammon sir??? Wha??? As far as I can tell, HE SEEMS TO BE STANDING. Oh my f—this is gonna be wild and that 'let me in' sure has more meanings than one Still, I want to ignore all that for a moment and focus on the 'I will become yours' because it made my heart flutter. The demon of Greed himself, and a KING no less, is telling a human that he will belong to her. My, my, my <3

update I:...girl I swear it hasn't been long since your bestie Paimon helped you out that's how the story makes it chronologically seem, at least

update II: he's gonna spoil her. I can feel it. She's going to get princess treatment

update III: lmfao MC being awkward for once and not knowing how tf to tell him 'pls do me'? Simply golden

update IV: I'm sorry, but that 'anytime' kind of shot me in the heart also she's so awkward lol this is against the norm

update V: MC almost seems disappointed that she's naked again

update VI: some very nice demons helped her practice this small talk is kinda like two NPCs conversing funny lol anyway, could he perhaps be bothered by how MC has done this with others before?

update VII: *points at Mammon* why is he being so hot

update VIII: he's aiming for the heart and it's a bullseye 'you're a most precious being' Goddd <3 Romance aside, though, he makes sense. Everyone she has met so far is vying for her attention, and it will be that way with those she meets later on as well, so he would rather belong to her and 'inspire' her to choose him on her own in the process

update IX: I just CANNOT get over the idea of how someone so powerful is willingly giving himself to someone else, even more so in how he's a demon king telling a human that she's the first he's ever belonged to it makes my heart wiggle And honestly, despite how a pact/contract between a demon and a human directly makes said human the devil's master, and albeit the fact that he obviously likes her, I think that him viewing her as his master and welcoming that fact is very modest of him because in the end, he's one of the most powerful demons and a king too—and that's a package that usually comes with lots of pride, but he's so calm about it and accepting of it

update X: so he's not as close to Solomon as others seem to have been. But please back up for a moment, Mammon: what do you mean by saying your contract with Solomon was just a game? I want to hear the story behind that *rubs hands together* do tell Anyway, I've got an important note. I admire how they touched on the concept of greed. As in, MC has others but still feels so possessive of Mammon that even his contract with Solomon, whose whereabouts are currently unknown, bothers her—yet, the game doesn't label that as selfish, even though I think it's cruel and most definitely selfish (because, after all, MC can't have everyone—they're not objects or possessions, they have their own thoughts and feelings, and so she doesn't have the right to want them all, as it's brutally unfair to them even if they seemingly let it slide); the game just lets it be, though, and I really appreciate the dark tinge this has to it. It's a refreshing take.

update XI: smiling in the midst of a kiss? YESSS &lt;;3 kinda weird how MC suddenly got so possessive over him though lol his sin of greed has to be affecting her oh, her very own sin of horny, too makes me wonder how unhinged she'll become once it's time to do the deed with Asmodeus or one of his subjects Ronové mmm

update XII: PFFFFFF the butt-wrestling match begins

update XIII: MC rn: oh, MC, we're really in it now

update XIV: HOT DAMN

update XV: so, um. I said this was going to be wild, didn't I? And I did say Mammon appeared to be STANDING, didn't I? Because would you look at that! This IS wild wild writing and he IS still standing SJSNLMS BRING IT

update XVI: GOOD GOD THAT CG FLAILS AROUND PASSES OUT DIES MAMMON IS NOT PLAYING

update XVII: in memory of MC: horny killed the cat 'I'm going to die' almost sent me but imagining the 'you felt like it would come out of your mouth' sentence made me mentally gag. Like goddamn, bro

update XVIII: a playful gentleman ugh yesss

update XIX: rough but sweet? Fuckkk he's really something also how TF is she even managing to stay quiet? The PP is so grand it stunned her Okay but he seems to be really affectionate and that makes me melt ALL THOSE KISSES <3

update XX: this is easily my favourite part of this scene. It's so gentle. He's telling MC in his own way that they should both just enjoy the current moment without her thinking of other things (i.e. if he's interested in her since she's Solomon's daughter). This silent reply is so sweet and romantic—an affirmation that proves his feelings and defies her doubts but she doesn't get the message

update XXI: oh what the hell Mammon, how sweet are you? But aaaah I was right lol it was love at first sight for him. He did fall in love first and he did fall in love quickly, and this in turn means that he's also doing this because he loves her. From earlier interactions with him I figured that that his H-scene would have a dose of intimacy, so this is really nice to have Also, I HAD to include at least one screenshot of this CG because dammit feel free to use your imagination in order to see beyond the heart "look beyond what you see."

update XXII: there we go again with the horns oh God oh dear God THEY ANNIHILATE ME EVERY SINGLE TIME And now? FUCKING HELL WAY TO GO MC, that was SO HOT. What she did with gripping his horn and making him lower his head is cute, but the intention behind that and licking his horn are both very sensual and I think they're going to take a toll on Mammon too

update XXIII: yup the poor man froze

update XXIV: gotta stay true to form I think I know what comes next how the tables have turned, huh MC? I'm sorry, but this is so funny to imagine lol

update XXV: 'bumped into your face' omfg I'm—lmaoooo MC: *panics in porn reference* Me: *snorts* HILARIOUS! ENTERTAIN ME

update XXVI: aaaaaaah I KNOW I keep saying this, I won't shut up about it though a powerful entity who also happens to be a KING being willing to do what a much weaker being wants DOES THINGS TO ME SJDNFDJKSNDKS when did MC ever say she wanted this though Mammon I know you also want to do this because you worship butts

update XXVII: MC be like pls chill big man inner voice: keep going

update XXVIII: someone get MC a floatie she's gonna drown

update XXIX: when I tell you I was LAUGHING through this last part??? What the fuck mannn lol MC needs to set aside towels and floaties for every H-scene fr I feel bad for the towels tho, they'll never make it out dry

update XXX: noooo this is playing a number on my stone-cold heart so soft and sentimentallll

update XXXI: he's really sweet

update XXXII: MC, come here for a minute *SMACK* that was insensitive asf, sweetie I genuinely question her intelligence sometimes lol how is she going to make my man Gusion like her at this rate sob PrettyBusy will somehow find a way and hopefully it won't be 'you're Solomon's daughter so I like you.' I have faith in my man Gusion Gusion aside, sorry hon one of the things I really like about Mammon is how he's not afraid to be straightforward and express his dislike for something, and he also directly says when a certain thing bothers him, no matter what. This also hints at the great confidence he holds in himself.

update XXXIII: fluff fluff flufffff

update XXXIV: arghhhhh he had to say that at the end <3

update XXXV: all this sugar is lethal

#mammon what in hell is bad #whb mammon #mammon whb #what in “hell” is bad #what in hell is bad #what in hell is bad diaries

[agendabymooner]

supermodel ! daniel r. x ofc (måneskin member!ofc)

"yeah, she's a master, my compliments."

summary: an episode of the måneskin tour vlog was uploaded and people are not having it. OR lester really tried not to cry as she spoke about her engagement and life with daniel ricciardo. danny only wanted to fulfill her dream without her worrying about the cost.

content warning: brief use of explicit language, fluff, dirty jokes (no smut), lester being me irl (mentions of money and middle class girlies), måneskin members making their appearance, smau/video clips content.

note: writing this to fulfill my imagination that someone would come swooping in and save me from my student loan (a joke, i will be pursuing press relations this year hopefully). i'm going to uni this year. also. we've had way too much unhinged danny and lester. that's why most of the posts i'm uploading are fluff or relating to babysitting toto wolff's kids. enjoy xx

masterlist

MÅNESKIN TOUR VLOG #2

[first caption: (italian) my fiancé is asking me if we should have a rustic-themed wedding. i told him "mio caro, if we want a good marriage, we can't use our yeehaw persona as a factor of our wedding!" he asked me if i had an input, all i said was "i haven't thought of anything yet."]

[second: person: and your wedding is in december. lester: we've hired a wedding planner, of course. whenever he's on a race or at home and i'm touring we would have a zoom meeting with our coordinator. i'm not being useless, i promise. my planner has been useful so far, and we've already come up with guests, location, entourages. it's challenging but exciting.]

[third: (italian) "your wedding is going to be amazing, from what i can hear" i hope so. danny pushed me into planning it out with him because i've told him about not wanting to impose. everything were so expensive- i still think everything's pricey. he pushed me, asking me what i want for our wedding. he didn't like it when i think about money, because apparently it's stopping me from pursuing my dreams.]

[fourth: (italian) i like to be independent and earn money on my own. but the kind of wedding that i wanted-it wasn't on my budget. when danny said "tell me what you want" all i can think about is him taking control of the matter. his budget, not mine. beggars can't be choosers.]

[fifth: he wants an answer. at first i wanted to joke, but then i remembered vividly watching a tape from the wedding of princess diana. she had this really nice dress. and she got married and she had all of these pictures in a palace. i told him, "if you don't mind, i would like to get married in a castle. be a princess for a day." he looked at me funny for thinking that he would be bothered by anything that i'm saying]

[sixth: i still feel like i'm imposing whenever i get invited to gatherings with/by his friends or family. it's like the same with (my) paddock passes- i know i've earned my place but it still feels like i'm not one of them and never will be. but the thing is: i love danny. he makes me feel like i belong somehow. and i feel like i'd be more than willing to give my body and soul to him as soon as he asks for it.]

[seventh: *sniffles* (italian) i need to stop speaking about him especially if he's not here. he's got some sort of sense when i speak about him and he'd text me (to ask) if i was chatting shit. but he's been amazing. i cannot imagine spewing out the worst things especially to/about him. those two years of being together and my six years of pining on twitter were worth it. i just hope he sees me as his equal not as a burden.]

bonus !!!

f1tillywolff posted !

user1 replied: "he's fiancé" sounds like danny saying "i'm baby!" while sipping on an apple juice lmfao 🤣

user2 replied: i'm sure with learning how to speak french fast, she should be able to learn and speak wombat.

user3 replied to user2: bestie wtf is speaking wombat? 😭

user2 replied to user3: it's when you can't speak joey, you resort to wombat.

f1tillywolff posted !

user1 replied: why am i even excited for the reception nood art painting 💀 it's nice to know she's still as messy

user2 replied: first pic really said "lester alessandro, h0rny on main, caught in 4k" 😔

f1tillywolff replied to user2: nah that's just lester being lester. it's been the wildest 2 years for us danester dumpster fans.

user3: her attention going from her fiancé to the mechanical bull really shows you where her priorities lie 🤡🤣

loressandro replied to user3: everything reminds me of him 🤠

#daniel ricciardo x ofc #danny ric x reader #dan ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo x oc #daniel ricciardo fluff #formula one fanfiction #formula one fic #formula one imagine #formula one smau #formula one x oc #red bull racing imagine #f1 imagine #daniel riccardo x reader #daniel ricciardo smau #f1 fic #f1 smau #f1 crack #formula one x reader #formula one x y/n #formula one x ofc #danny ric x oc #f1 drivers x reader #dr3 #danny ric #oracle red bull racing

[crystcllise]

cursed child london year 7 cast

the other week i got to see the year 7 london cast of cursed child and i am AMAZED!!! such a strong cast of wonderful performers across the board and i was absolutely blown away with their performances! you can tell they really understand their characters and have really worked on the dynamics and relationships with each other to create a realistic interpretation of these beloved characters!!

as always, i’m always watching the scorbus duos to see the little things they do with each other and i just want to say that ellis and harry’s scorbus is such a delight!!! they’re definitely my fav pair now hands down! such a sweet youthful portrayal of albus and scorpius and their dynamic on stage is so so pure i adored them sooo much!!

i got to meet ellis and harry after the show and ellis knew who i was and hugged me im fine

like broadway, i took some very unhinged notes so behold, read below all my unedited notes on (mainly scorbus) but the year 7 cast of cursed child!

ELLIS ALBUS IS SO SKRUNKLY AND SMALL AND CUTE HELP ME

james sings the end of his lines and it’s SO FUNNY

it genuinely looked like scorpius was leaning in to kiss albus after he tells him to come to the funeral

harry putting his legs up on the desk and trying to touch his toes while hermione is scolding him in his office and she just 😐

BREAD BREAD WHATS WRONG WITH BREAD??? scorpius was very excited about the bread

scorpius’ hand on albus’ chest when the train started

scorpius protectively putting his entire arm over albus’ chest in st oswald’s when amos pulled his wand out

scorpius as harry was the FUNNIEST SHIT EVER THE VOICE CRACKS AND THE LITTLE JUMPS david absolutely nailed the harry!scorpius mannerisms

“WIZZO!” (jump and finger guns) i love one skrunkly boy

scorpius looking so shocked and terrified when delphi grabbed albus’ hand and kissed his cheek

once delphi kissed albus’ cheek, she turned around to face scorpius and both of them look SO REPULSED like absolutely not get away from me

edge of the forest !!! scorpius looked so happy to call albus his best friend and albus was so shocked and so in awe (people in the crowd literally awwwed at it)

albus looking at scorpius so admirably at the triwizard tournament while he was geeking out

i’ve never seen such longing stares in the staircase ballet what the fuck

delphi’s ‘you two you belong together’ was just sooo knowing like jess!delphi is a scorbus advocate

ellis’ hair 🥰🥰🥰🥰

the collective gasp from the audience when albus said he wasn’t a loser before he met scorpius in the library… OUCH

hermione crying after ron said ‘my hermione’ and trying to hide her tears when ron kept talking to her

SCORPIUS AND THE DEMENTORS !!!! harry!scorpius absolutely devoured idk

scorpius’ scream when albus came up in the water SENT ME he squealed to the rooftops

ITS HARRYYY (the highest pitched scream i’ve ever heard scorpius was VERY excited)

hermione in tears after mcgonagall’s office and rose just running into her arms when she sees her crying oh i love them

intense staring in slytherin dorms holy mother of god

the massive scream cry delphi did in the owlery HOLY SHIT it like mimicked the cry of an augurey bird it was SO GOOD i was genuinely scared for a hot second

delphi’s “looOooooooOove” when looking at scorpius and pointing out albus’ weakness oh jess vickers my queen devours every time + albus unable to look at scorpius and scorpius in utter shock

WAIST GRAB WAIST GRAB AND SCORPIUS’ HAND ON ALBUS’ IM COMING UP when albus and scorpius had to hide from lily with the blanket, albus literally just stood behind scorpius with his hand on his waist and scorpius had his hand on top of albus’ it was sooooo adorable

harry crying in his office after talking to the dumbledore portrait and draco walking in, giving a ‘i ain’t dealing with this’ face and turning to walk out LMFAO

“ugh, is that a farmers market?” steve!draco HATES FARMERS MARKETS HELP

scorpius jumping into draco’s arms when reunited :’)

albus and scorpius literally sitting on each other in st jerome’s, their legs against each other and albus leaning into scorpius’ shoulder they’re so :((

hermione and albus are definitely close and i live for it she was so warm and comforting to him in st jerome’s this is all i’ve dreamed of

“and now i think you’re finding wonderful clarity” and GINNY LOOKING OVER AT SCORPIUS GOD SHE KNOWSS

the staring in the final staircase scene and ROSE WATCHING WITH UTTER SATISFACTION

albus’ hand on scorpius’ chest after rose interrupts and brushing it off with a fake yawn HELP

“you good albus?” “mhm” ROSE GIGGLING AND SKIPPING OFF STAGE AND LOOKING AT ALBUS AND SCORPIUS SO KNOWINGLY MY BEST GIRL

the closeness after the hug when scorpius says ‘new version of us’

SCORPIUS DOING FINGER GUNS ON NEW VERSION OF US THEY BOTH DID FINGER GUNS AT EACH OTHER ALBUS DID THEM BACK THEY ARE SO SILLY

scorpius waving, albus waving, scorpius turning to leave, giggling and waving again I FEEL ILL

david!harry completely understands albus’ love for scorpius and you can really tell in the final scene when albus tells him scorpius is the most important person in his life. he catches on throughout the show and it’s really nice to see him fully accept his son’s bond with scorpius and be content with it!!

like mentioned before, such an incredible cast and i am so sad i won’t get to see them again!!! they are truly wonderful and i hope a lot of you get to see them bc they are fantastic <3

#scorbus #albus severus potter #scorpius malfoy #albus x scorpius #albus severus x scorpius #harry potter next gen #cursed child #hpcc #harry potter and the cursed child #ellis rae #harry acklowe

[icyfox17]

The demons got to me... Anyways here's the first snipp of a 911 x Psych crossover lmfao

"A psychic detective?" Eddie's unconvinced voice rings out in the station's kitchen. "Yeah!" Buck replies, chipper as ever as he puts together a PBJ sandwich. "The amount of cases he's solved is crazy. And—! He even uncovered a dinosaur skeleton. I've been meaning to drive to Santa Barbara to see it. Maybe I'll take Christopher—” "A psychic detective," Eddie repeats, having barely processed anything else Buck had said. He chuckles. “You can't—you can't seriously think this is real.” “Eddie, he's been working with the SBPD for years. Don't you think if he was a fake they would've found out by now?” Buck asks, and his voice sounds so genuine Eddie kind of wants to cry. “Buck. Buck. Magic isn't real. There is no way that he's actually psychic. It's a publicity stunt! Makes the SBPD stand out or something.” “Just you wait and see Eds. Once you meet him, you'll have to believe it.” Buck says, pointing at Eddie with the most obnoxious grin on his face. Eddie can't help but feel fond at the sight of it. Sure Buck’s an idiot, but at least he's a cute one. Eddie gives up on having this argument with him. No matter what Buck says, he won't be convinced. They couldn't convince him with the jinxes (although some small part of him is still slightly freaked out about that) and they won't convince him with this psychic detective, not even if he's the most sophisticated all-knowing person ever. ~*~ “Gus, how many burritos do you think I can fit in my mouth? My money's on six, but maybe if I shove them in horizontally…” He reaches over to grab the cooler from beside Gus in the back seat, but Jules slaps his hand away. “Shawn, seriously? Those burritos are for everyone.” Shawn huffs, crossing his arms with a pout. “Yeah well, we've been in this car for hours, and I'm starving to death.” “It's been an hour Shawn,” Gus’ voice pops up from the backseat and Shawn shoots him a betrayed look. “Whose side are you on?!” Gus tilts his head. “The side that makes sure that I still have some burritos for myself.” He then opens up the same cooler that Shawn was just trying to reach into, and pulls out a perfectly tinfoil wrapped burrito that he delicately peels away. His eyes are alight with glee as he unhinges his jaw and prepares to take the biggest bite known to man, when Shawn twists around in his seat and grips Gus’ arm, pulling it and the burrito away from his mouth. “That burrito is mine sucker!” Shawn calls out, trying to take the burrito for himself. “Oh no you don't, Shawn!!” The two of them struggle back and forth, causing the car to shake slightly, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that Gus is a backstabber and Shawn needs his burrito! “Guys!” Jules’ voice calls out sharp, and the two of them freeze—Gus’ left hand smushed into Shawn's face, and Shawn’s free hand gripping Gus’ throat in a chokehold, their other hands wrapped tightly around the burrito in a tug of war. She outstretches her right hand, keeping her left hand on the wheel, and makes a grabbing motion. The two of them dejectedly give the burrito into her palm and she huffs, smiling. “Thank you. We have one more hour to go. You can both eat one burrito, okay? The rest are for when we get there.” She then takes a satisfied chomp of the burrito in her hand.

#OUGH FINALLY FIGURED OUT HOW TO DO THE INDENT THING ON MOBILE OMG #anywyas #still havent figured out the tumblr culture of sharing snippets dhdkskdf #dude ive never written psych fic before its actually so fun #i kept grinning like an idiot while writing lmfao i love them sm #911 #911 abc #eddie diaz #evan buck buckley #evan buckley #buck 911 #slight buddie for yall too #psych #psych tv #shawn spencer #burton guster #juliet o'hara #crossovers #foxie snipps #foxie aus #911 psych crossover au #ill come up w a proper tag later

[st4rr-girrl]

If it’s totally okay with you, do you think you could do a fic with Patrick Hockstetter that he like meets a girl just as unhinged as him, like she’s always lighting fires and just down bad crazy, laughing like a maniac, and he falls for her, believing she’s a god too. Only if you would like, you’re writing truly is something else<3<3 it’s beautiful 💗

[of course honey. i love taking requests <33 and thank you sm 🥰💕]

thank you to my dear anonnie 💕

Sorry this took me so long lmfao

warnings: cussing, bullying, mental illness, lighting stuff on fire, underage drinking/drugs, sadism/ masochism.

He first noticed you from afar, smirking as you told off the teacher, or as you pushed the middle schoolers around.

But when he really talked to you, was when he saw you in the forest just beside the road.

The air was crisp, and the sky was dark. The moonlit sky enhanced your features just enough that you could be recognized by any passers by.

Not that there would be, since the forest was heavily abandoned by the townspeople.

He watched as you pulled out a shiny zippo, and lit something on fire. He couldn’t see what it was, but it’s not like he cared or anything. He just stared— as the flames lit up and brightened your previously shaded features.

He smirked, slowly walking up to you in hopes of scaring the fuck out of you.

“Hey there.” He said, smirking, while watching as panic spread across your face like wildfire at the thought of him being and adult— or someone that could get you in trouble.

“You dick!” You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “I should’ve lit your ass on fire instead.” You rolled your eyes at the handsome stranger.

“I probably would’ve liked it.” He winked, smiling seductively.

“Oh?” You smirked back, “You aren’t the only one.” You turned around and slapped your hands on your thighs, poking your ass out jokingly, before laughing like a maniac and running away from him. (Evie from thirteen vibes)

He shook his head with a smirk, watching your figure get smaller and smaller until it disappeared in a whole.

The next day at school, you caught him staring repeatedly, those green eyes filled with curiosity and fondness directed specifically towards you.

You winked at him just before the bell rung, and he didn’t see you until the next class you two had together.

Each day he saw you, and exchanged those glances and sneaky winks, he started to like you even more.

He started to actually be excited for school at the thought of seeing you again. His heart raced at every glance you two exchanged.

Neither of you made any moves.

Until, Patrick came to class and was met with a note on his desk. “Meet me in the woods at 1:00 am.”

He immediately looked over to you, with hope swirling in his chest.

You immediately smirked at him, and gave him a quick little wink before paying attention to the teacher.

The only thing that was on his minder afterwards was what you two were gonna do in the woods. Set animals on fire? Burn each-other and get matching scars? Get high? Drink vodka?

He was excited. Really excited.

He excused himself from the gang since they were supposed to be hanging out that night. But he has other plans now.

You waited in the woods, impatiently fiddling with a random stick you found on the ground. It was a darker night than expected, giving a creepy vibe as the moon didn’t have its usual bright hue.

You sat with your knees up, and your back against a tree. The wind howled loudly as you waited.

Soon you saw a tall, lanky figure approach you. Your guard was immediately up, thinking of a scenario where it wasn’t the boy you planned on meeting.

But once he was close enough, you could see it was just the boy you wanted to see. Your shoulders dropped in relief.

You smirked, opening your backpack and pulling out a joint and a lighter. “Wanna join me?” You asked the black haired boy.

“Is that even a question?” He said sarcastically. You rolled your eyes and lit the joint.

“I never caught your name.” You said curiously, staring intently at the boy as you took a puff of your joint, passing it to him after. You inhaled to plant, holding it there for a few seconds before blowing the remaining smoke out of your lungs.

He mirrored your actions, saying “Patrick.” While smoke blew out of his mouth.

“Y/n.” You smirked back.

This when on for a few weeks. You two would mingle in the woods at night, and your feelings grew each time.

Until you eventually got into a relationship. A chaotic one. You’d push around the middle schoolers with him, light shit on fire with him, and lots of other things that will not be named.

People feared you. They also feared your relationship. Which wasn’t particularly… healthy. He wasn’t in love. He was obsessed with you. That was far from love. But it’s okay, because you felt the same way. Almost to the point of killing other people for even looking at one another.

He believes you and him are the only real people on earth, and that you two are the rulers of the chess game called reality. Everyone else are pawns while you two are the rulers.

And for the first time in your life; you felt as if soulmates were real. You’d never admit this to him, because it was corny. But you felt as if he was made for you. That he was truly the one.

And this was just the beginning of what would be your downfall. But you enjoyed it. You were a masochist. ;)

—

Masterlist: here

Taglist:

@rakitirakiti

#patrick hockstetter #patrick hocksetter x reader #patrick hocksetter imagine #Patrick Hockstetter x you #bowers gang #it 2017 #bowers gang x reader

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Comte’s Drama CD: Track Three, A Date at the Mercy of an Extraordinarily Bad(?) Adult

And we are back with our third installment of this unhinged recounting translation series, to perhaps the funniest and lowkey horniest track on the whole CD. In this one, Comte takes MC to a boutique to try on dresses and select something for a party/ball later that night. Without further ado, the contents are as follows:

Comte: Come on in. This boutique is my favorite.


There is a large variety of designs, so if you see a dress you like, don’t hesitate to give it a try.

Of course, I’m going to have you wear a lot of the dresses I select, so be prepared for that.

Let’s pick a dress for the ball tonight.

From now on, it’s my pleasure to show off the most beautiful person I know.

The way he makes me so giddy, “to show off the most beautiful person I know” no you!!!!! But also like. Lmfao the way he’s so ready for this, you can just tell this is what he lives for and it’s hilarious.

What’s that? Have you found a design that you like?

I…yes, I’ve decided. I carefully selected about ten gowns because I was worried about it.

Huh? ….I didn’t think it was that many….

Well, let’s leave that discussion aside for now and examine each dress in order.

I love how he’s like “okay what did you pick, let’s compare.” MC presumably has like two and he’s like “oh yeah, here’s ten.” And not only that, the second she’s like “uhhhhh don’t you think that’s too many??” he’s like “ANYWAY--” The way he will deadass evade any questions about excess I’m. Iconic. King Shit. Nobody Doing It Like Him. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I love how the energy of their married life is like: MC: I did not grow up rich Comte: YOU GON LEARN T O D A Y--

I think one of my favorite bits about Comte is how he’s like “I’m so normal” while everyone stares at him in sheer disbelief or incredulity 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

First off, this is an evening dress.

The beaded embroidery that spreads down to the hem is intended to reflect the light that spills from the chandelier overhead when dancing.

It must be breathtakingly beautiful

It’s a sight I’d love to see….Though…there is the trouble that this dress is dazzlingly attractive. (MONSIEUR IS CONFLICTED)

I feel I have made it clear (but I must reiterate) how much I love him being the living embodiment of that meme like:

Comte: Look at MC!!!! Isn’t she the prettiest!!!!! I love my wife so much!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Anyone: Wow I like her too Comte: kill bill sirens no.

I can assure you that this exotic dress would suit you without even needing to see you try it on.

A sash belt with wide cuffs and a high waist…

It’s similar to a traditional Japanese kimono from your homeland, isn’t it?

And then…a pretty floral dress with a soft/fluffy drape.

Ah...I should probably put this dangerous looking black lace dress away. (HE SOUNDS SO TURNED ON AND LOWKEY HOARSE IM)

Ah…the more I look at it, the weaker I get…I can’t choose because I think any of them would look good on you.

I find it absolutely hysterical that he tries to hide his real taste behind all these very subtle and feminine dresses and then he’s like. LOOK AT THIS. COINCIDENTALLY BLACK AND RISQUÉ DRESS. NOW YOU SEE IT NOW YOU DON’T--

Comte just give me the dress I’m yelling 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Oh that’s right…if I get all of them, I won’t have to choose…! (EXCITE)

Oh, no…haha, I know (IMMEDIATE GIVE UP)

I’m only kidding. (ARE YOU?? I DON’T BELIEVE U SIR)

But since we’re here anyway, do you mind if we look around for a while together?

I don’t know what’s cuter, the fact that he gets so hyped and then sulks immediately, or the fact that he tries to compromise and be there together for a bit longer. I love him!!!!! Mans is trying so hard to dote on her I’m dying

Yes, leave it to me. I’ll make you the best princess in the world.

Well then, let’s go to the fitting room with the dresses we have chosen…Don’t worry if you don’t know how to wear it.

I’ll help you, okay? (DON’T WHISPER I’M FRAGILE)

---

Come now, don’t run away,

At home, you let me tie the ribbons at the back and help you with your necklaces all the time.

Well the setting is a little different, so I suppose it would make sense that you might be a bit more self-conscious.

You’re blushing all the way up to the tips of your ears…you’re so cute.

I’m telling you right now, don’t even think about asking the shop clerk to help you. (EEEEEEYYYYYY YOOOOOOO)

I don’t care who it is, I’m the only one allowed to touch you like this. (SEXY SEXY O//O)

Aight so there are so many things going on here, and the asides barely even cover it all. Fuwa fuwa about the best princess in the world, no u!!!!!!!! My face was in my hands when he said she was cute, he’s so earnestly affectionate!!!!

This. mf. going into the changing room with her. Without hesitation. Sir that is not how any reputable place of business operates!!!!! I laugh even more because he sincerely sounds a bit put out trying to chase her around to let him help her 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Okay but that last bit when he’s telling her only he gets to do that stuff. Bruh. He goes lowkey savage and it’s HOT AF. Sultry and possessive inject that straight into my veins h e l l o--

…Don’t worry. No one knows what’s going on behind the curtain unless you make noise. (THAT’S NOT ALL I’M CONCERNED ABOUT SIR)

Now then…turn around and I’ll help you take off the dress you’re wearing right now. (SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP)

…You are beautiful no matter what you wear, but there’s no match for the breathtaking sight of you with nothing at all on… (STOP BEING HORNY IN PUBLIC)

I won’t do anything...If only you were quiet?

Hm? The sound of footsteps approaching…is that a clerk I hear? [audible footsteps in the background]

I’m so torn because like. There’s the half of me that’s like “go on” and the other half of me that’s like slaps his little pizza hands. Being a Comte stan is just being torn between scolding him and/or enabling him constantly LMFAO

Shh…forget other people noticing me, are you all right?

(STOP LAUGHING WHY IS IT ADORABLE) It can’t be helped. If you’re so worried, I’ll cover your lips for you. Mn…

Well…I think he’s gone…[chuckle] I didn’t mean to kiss you in a place like this.

Hm? You’re such a naughty woman…to look so love drunk with a single kiss.

We can continue this tonight…tonight we’ll have our fill. Do you like the sound of that?

I gotta wonder what MC looked like to make him be like “bro, you good?” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Behold the consequences of your actions, Comte, you keep wooing and charming her and she’s going to be incoherent by the end omllll. But also him finding any excuse to kiss her eyyyyyyyyyyyy (I will forgive his relentless desire for her because it’s sweet and v sexy, gold star ⭐️)

Also why does that last bit lowkey sound more like he’s trying to bargain with himself than her 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 “just be patient Abel. Bide ya time”

----

…Yes, I think this dress looks the best/most attractive on you.

(HIS LAUGHTER SEND HELP THE DELIGHT) I just knew it would look stunning on you.

Ah but I can’t help but pester you a little. Every dress looks so lovely on you.

No, it’s not just flattery…do you mind if I see you in just one more?

I don’t think I’ve ever seen or heard a man who loves to play dress up as much as he does, should I be concerned??

Sir you are under arrest for being beyond silly goofy cute LOCK THE DOORS FETCH THE CONSTABLE--

Everyone at home says it's just a deranged aristocratic hobby or that I’m turning you into a dress up doll…

The loveliness and beauty of my lover, I can’t help that there’s no end to my desire to see you shine even more.

Thank you…I’m glad you at least understand/don’t feel put upon.

Oh dear, it’s about time for the carriage to pick us up. Since we’ve tried a few things on, I think we should start heading over to the ball.

…But before that, I must offer you one piece of advice.

…Don’t show the defenseless face that I see now in front of any other man. (SO SERIOUS HEART FLUTTERY VISION GROWING DIM)

Understand? …Yes, that’s a very good answer.

Well then, let’s go, my princess.

Honestly I do feel that--while it’s hilarious and somewhat fair the mansion men rib him about dressing her up--Comte does have positive intentions regarding the whole endeavor. It was recently brought to my attention by a friend (I can take little to no credit for this idea) that part of being lovers with someone is sharing what you have. Now this obviously doesn’t mean an exacting 50/50 type of thing, rather that part of showing proper care and affiliation can involve gifts/money depending on the situation.

In the case of Comte who is a man of considerable wealth and social standing, it would potentially appear negligent if MC were to appear at a ball with a dress she’s worn before. Part of being a responsible spouse in his context, then, would be to provide her with nothing less than the most stunning jewelry and top class new dresses. While I don’t necessarily think he’s interested in his/their image in a vain way or even all that obsessed with what others think, I do think he’s concerned about being a good husband and lover. And by extension, he wants MC to enjoy nice clothing and accessories and be able to present herself at his side with confident pride.

Another dimension that’s important to consider, I think, is the fact of his upbringing. It is very likely that in his household growing up, that might have been what he was taught. I won’t spoil the next Drama CD track, but there is evidence to believe he has a number of preconceived notions about what it means to be an adequate partner to someone. Granted I don’t think he’s incapable of seeing things any other way, but I think those lessons from when he was a kid do color his perception. He was likely taught that, as a person of status, he had to be exquisitely mannered, exceptionally talented in some form of the arts, a captivating dancer, a sharp and witty conversationalist, and many more expectations that he had no choice but to meet. And most importantly, he had to be able to convey that to and lead the woman he chose for himself. We have already explored the fact that pureblood vampires are a bit extreme and inhumane in their beliefs about many things. Given how weirdly obsessed they are with breeding more of them, it really wouldn’t surprise me if they have absolute ideas about gender roles.

It almost seems like for him to feel worthy of a relationship, he feels the need to meet those expectations. On some level, it’s like he forgets MC is just happy to be beside him; she’s not necessarily all that interested in him fitting the cookie cutter perfect aristocrat spouse. And in truth, I find that whenever she reminds him of what truly matters at the core, it always seems to give him a jolt. Not that he had considered it irrelevant, but that he gets so caught up in his instinctive/learned behavior that it’s a soothing reminder that he’s more than enough to be loved as he is. I think its particularly fascinating because it really doesn’t feel superficial or naive as much as it does a product of his habits/lifestyle. Yes it allows him to stay informed and busy (beating the bad thoughts away with a broom, mood) but he also loses that depth of connection that he yearns for. (Which he also fears, of course, because of everyone he’s lost. Man Comte tough break being allergic to your own feelings fr, spamming F in the chat--)

And God like. I know I’ve said it before but. The way this man does possessiveness/jealousy????? Unmatched. Enormously attractive. Yessir I wasn’t particularly interested in looking at anyone else, but wow does it set me on fire to be reminded sternly 👀

All right well that’s it for track three, on to the next!

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp mc #ikevamp drama cd #ikevamp translations #ikevamp meta #(if you squint at the end) #fangdad propaganda #man i gotta tell yall ive never been much of a shopper #but he's so hilariously giddy and enjoys seeings the different dresses #somehow i feel like it would be fun doing it with him #i feel like he makes me a lot more amenable to things i was indifferent to/dislike LMFAO #oh abel what you do to me... #all that being said this one was mostly happy good feely times i think #the meta suggestion at the end of this track gets expanded on in the next one so do look forward to that #au revoir friends and until next time~ #not incorrect quotes

[friends-to-lovers-tournament]

Friends to Lovers Tournament: Round 1, Side B, Match 25

propaganda under the cut!

Karmisa:

okay lemme fckn tell you how AWESOME these two are!!! okay so karma is an asshole and absolutely unhinged and the only one he allows to be his friend is nagisa, who seems like an unassuming sweet guy but he is BADASS lemme tell you. and here's ALL THE REASONS WHY THEY'RE THE PERFECT FRIENDS TO LOVERS TROPE:

1. red and blue colour scheme which is a signal that the ship is TOP TIER. also the "delinquent x sunshine" , "kill 'em with a knife x kill 'em with kindness" , "tol x smol"  and many other beautiful opposites trope. 

2. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY they're canonly called "the best soldier" x "the best assassin" and they're fckn RUTHLESS in what they do like YASSS POWER COUPLE

3. karma is the first person to realize nagisa's hidden potential, and nagisa is the first person to look past karma's "natural genius" and see just how much hard work karma puts into the things he loves.

4. normally friends to lovers is very fluffy, but these two make it fckn SPICY AF!! like they're friends but also best friends in a way where they don't hold back in whooping each others ass if and ever they are on opposite sides. most of the time they have the same goal tho (killing their teacher) so they collaborate and come up with the most awesome skills together

5. karma canonly enjoys teasing nagisa relentlessly and has multiple pictures of nagisa crossdressing lmfao. nagisa is too sweet to do anything mischievous like that but yee dkjfsndfjk

Gwiles:

They aren’t lovers YET but it’s obvious that’s where it’s going. Also they are explicitly friends first—Gwen says that she doesn’t “do friends” anymore, then Miles tells her he’s down to be friends with her if she ever changes her mind, and at the end of the movie she does.

#friends to lovers tournament #Assassination Classroom #Karmisa #Nagisa Shiota #Karma Akabane #spider man: across the spider verse #Gwiles #Gwen Stacy #Miles Morales #polls #tournament polls

[whaleofatjme1920]

Hello again!Im back with a stupid idea in my head.Ok,so Medic,Scout,Sniper and Engineer(Hope its not too much from the limit of the characters) with a S/O who does silly little things (some may be dangerous ASF)

Medic, Scout, Sniper and Engineer with a Silly SO

[GN!Reader]

[Warnings: Like, none?]

[AN: It's under 5, so yeah just fine! Here we go!]

Medic

A part of me wants to say that like, he actively scolds you and another part of me says no, not at all, he's joining! I like it both ways.

The part of him that tells you to be careful is pretty,, y'know like "oh no, don't" but he wants to see what happens because it's funnier that way. Unless you're like, really going to get hurt.

he is kinda your partner in crime for everything else depending! He's a bit unhinged, and that's putting it lightly so be prepared lmfao.

The two of you have almost been banned from places together.

Scout

He's just as silly as you! Dangerous too, but like, he's pretty street smart at times? So the two of you always have a way out or a loophole.

There is no voice of reason between the two of you. Just one bad idea after another. It's,,, certainly something.

Date nights between the two of you can get quite chaotic. But the other silly things?? I think that endears him to you.

I think Scout is the best one for a silly SO tbh.

Sniper

He's an odd mix between enjoying you being an opposite to him and not really having it. It's not that he's opposed entirely or wants someone so similar to him, but I think it makes him feel like an old man despite being like, 28.

He can be endeared to it because it reminds him to smile, and not take everything so seriously!

But at other times, it becomes a bit much and he doesn't really crave the silliness or the danger you might occasionally bring. Takes some serious conversations, if I'm being honest.

But y'know, any relationship requires some healthy, good communication in order to thrive.

Engineer

Another weird mix, but I think he's a tad more endeared to your silly behavior than Sniper. Like, he's much more likely to laugh and go along with it.

Though, there are moments you need to hold back. Largely, he likes it!

If it's dangerous, he might need to accompany you or just,,, ensure you don't get hurt? Like that's his biggest concern. He's like a mama hen, of course he's going to worry about you.

He does really, really enjoy listening to the things that you get up to though!

#tf2 medic x reader #tf2 scout x reader #tf2 sniper x reader #tf2 engineer x reader #tf2 x reader #tf2 medic headcanon #tf2 scout headcanon #tf2 sniper headcanon #tf2 engineer headcanon

[nirikeehan]

Word Search Tag Game!

I got tagged by @theluckywizard to find five words in my fics and share a snippet from each.

Gasp: from A Fool's Errand, about Thalia and Cullen's failed attempt at getting busy on his desk lmfao

“Right. Um. Hang on.” He rolled to the left, exposing the seam at his side where the two plates of metal fastened with a comically high number of leather straps. Thalia gasped as his weight shifted, pinning her even harder against the desk. The hard mahogany wood dug painfully into her lower back. “Can you reach that?”  “Sure,” Thalia lied, trying not to wince. She wriggled beneath him, struggling to free an additional arm. “Could you stop leaning on my shoulder, please?” 

Blood: from Two Songs; Truth, Sadness, Sacrifice, about a night on the town in Kirkwall gone wrong for Cullen and Samson (featuring THE BOOT KNIFE)

Cullen slammed into him, knocking the boy’s cap off. A second later, he had Quno by the hair, standing behind him with the dagger to his neck. Quno let out a truncated squeal that Cullen silenced by pressing the blade closer to his scrawny throat.  “You’ll consider Samson’s debt paid,” Cullen rasped, “or else—” “Fucking—” Quno held up his arm, another ball of magic swirling in his hand, but Cullen concentrated on the lyrium in his blood and summoned a dispelling force. The spell went out with a hiss, like a torch dropped in a bucket of water.  Only then did Quno understand. Cullen felt the boy’s body tense with terror. “You— you’re a fucking Templar?” 

Gently: from It's Never Sunny in Barovia, my unhinged Curse of Strahd crossover WIP that no one asked for, featuring Metrion from Curse of Strahd: Twice Bitten which everyone should listen to so I'm not flying this blorbo flag alone

Thalia tries to protest, but he cuts her off. “No, no, maybe you’re right, a little bit. Or a lot. I dunno. Fuck. I never wanted to be in this place. It’ll wear you down, break you, faster’n you can run. We been told the devil knows our every move, that it’s all a game to him. That we’ll stay alive as long as we keep things interesting. But I dunno if painting your face would make much of a difference in the long run, if he’s got an eye on ya.”  Metrion sounds mournful, apologetic, as if trying to break bad news as gently as he can. Thalia reaches out, with a pang of sympathy, and touches his elbow through his long overcoat. He freezes, dares to meet her gaze only briefly before averting it again.  “Strahd must have a weakness,” Thalia says. “Everyone does.” How can she explain to him that she once stood down a man who would be god? What’s one more vampiric tyrant, in the face of someone like Corypheus? 

Sky: from Chapter 1 of Through a Glass, Darkly:

The sky hung low like a threat. It pulsated emerald green, punctuated by swirling dark clouds and detritus. His mouth tasted of ashes. The courtyard was choked with dead grass and fallen rock. Cullen blinked at it dumbly. His eyes hurt, even in the dim light. The near-total darkness of his cell had been all he’d known for weeks beyond count. 

Sharp: from the in-progress next chapter of Through a Glass, Darkly:

Some time later, Thalia returned to her tent, a bitter aftertaste lingering in her mouth. She felt a bit off-kilter, but relieved. Blackwall sat where she’d left him, his whetstone sliding along the edge of his blade in long, slow strokes. His eyes were on the fire.  Irritation stirred in Thalia’s chest. “That must be the sharpest sword known to man by now.”  His eyes snapped to her; his hand paused. Thalia felt a strange pang to behold him like this. Terrible memories churned in her mind: Blackwall’s sudden disappearance, his impassioned speech on the gallows in Val Royeaux, the way he’d looked at her through the bars of his cell. This is why I told you we couldn’t be together, he said, with perfect loathing, while her heart rent in two.

Tagging it forward to:

@bluewren | @monocytogenes | @inquisimer | @exalted-dawn-drabbles | @demarogue | @kiastirling-fanfic | anyone who wants to play!

Words for you to find: broken, tooth, stroll, civilization, satisfied.

#wip game #writing nonsense

[noahtally-famous]

rewatching ridonculous race and I just came up with the wildest 'crack' thought that would prob be single-handedly genius or The Worst Thing Ever.

as usual I’m making it everyone’s problem lmao

a Dave & Keith duo team participating in the race. And their team name is ‘liked the same girl’ or smth like that idk

some extra details:

Sky definitely forced them into it as a ‘Bonding Experience’ bc of the complaining and arguing (and plus she was tired af of how annoying they are). I like to think after PI, Dave approached her and genuinely actually apologized for his actions, like he finally realized how unhinged he turned into and regretted it, and she apologized too for leading him on and not handling the situation better, and they respected the ultimate decision to not date but remained a weird combo of acquaintance-friends. there was a lot of apologizing, crying (bc of course there is), words said, and it took a while but they overcame that massive hurdle.

naturally, Keith isn’t so quick to trust the guy though, and Dave still has bad memories abt him so the tension between them still remains thick.

them arguing legit the entire time they’re on, and live to make each others lives more annoying while facepalming at the others stupidity. (they're a hit among the viewers btw, bc of course they are)

“says the girlfriend-kisser!” “for the last time, I didn’t know you two were dating or else I wouldn’t have kissed her!” “pfft. yeah that’s what you’d like to think.” “uh, yeah, I do think that. because her lips have touched yours and who knows how disgusting your lips are and where they’ve been.” “excuse me, you take that back right now!” “I don’t hear you denying it, bad kisser.” “is that the best you’ve got, Mr. Not Getting Any?” "that's not what the girl you thought liked you was thinking when she kissed me--oh, too soon?" "I will fucking murder you."

everyone else, hearing this go down: what the fuck

homoerotic tension but no one rlly knows whether that tension is due to them actually having underlying emotions other than ‘deep dislike’ or whether that’s just an add-on to their rivalry and they’re just dumb enough to say stuff with double meanings

similar to the point above, no one rlly knows whether to consider them ‘dating but doesn’t know it yet’ or simply enemies

Dwayne Sr. and Dwayne Jr. watching Pahkitew Island on the plane rides and bombarding Dave with questions abt his time there, and making fun of certain parts of the show. Keith is happy to indulge if it means making fun of Dave’s worst moments (“which are like all of them!” “at least I had guts to audition for that damn show.” “are you calling me a coward?” “congratulations. you’ve connected the dots.”)

idk whether they’d end up having a rivalry with another team or if they’re so invested in each other that no one else wants to get between that lmao

it’s funny bc they waste no time rubbing each other the wrong way, but for the sake of winning challenges they’d set aside their rivalry temporarily and work together (and ironically, they make a pretty good team). idk how they’d react if another team made fun of either of them—probably not the most positive; I feel like they’d be the type to laugh at the others misery/frustration at first, but if a certain line is crossed, intervention occurs.

I’ve this silly hc that Noah and Dave are family friends, so interactions between them and the occasional Keith ones are bound to be interesting

I literally don’t know what Keith would look like. When I was younger, I imagined him looking like a sort-of Duncan without the dyed hair (yeah, idk either). But now I’m like ‘would Sky rlly date a guy like that? she’d want to be with someone more sporty and athletic and competitive, probably.’ and now I’m stumped on trying to imagine Keith looks-wise 😭

perhaps he's a combination of the two?? bc I also can't see Sky dating the jockest jock to ever jock lmfao

they have to go through the sewage system in the prison episode, and Dave gets flashbacks from Pahkitew and he's all 'nope, not happening. I'm not touching that disgusting water, do you know how many germs and bacterias are in there?', so Keith's like 'ffs you dramatic shit' and has to carry Dave or piggy-back him until they reach the exit while Dave's alternating between clinging to him like a koala and leaning as far away from him as possible without falling off. (I'm sensing potential bonding over Dave's germaphobia and stuff).

Keith def kept up on the Pahkitew Island season so he knows exactly what Dave is talking abt when he refers to certain episodes.

The Haters/Daters love them, they're all like "those two know what's up. they're exactly like us" and Keith & Dave are like "...no we're not??" and the Haters/Daters are like "you're not dating?!"

Keith doesn't lose his shit easily, he's actually pretty chill and patient--which makes sense given in most sports, you gotta be patient. (Dave's the one who gets all emotional tbvh.) But, naturally, Dave's the only exception when it comes to the whole 'not losing shit easily' deal

"he's your boyfriend. you calm him down." "he's YOUR family friend though?! and for the last time, we're not dating!" -- a Noah and Keith interaction

#i had this sitting in my drafts for weeks lmfao #i'd already finished rewatching ridonculous race but yeah this would be pretty wild imo #td dave #td keith #is that even a tag lmao #the ridonculous race #total drama pahkitew island #td sky #kit speaks #kit stuff #td #tdpi #tdrr #anyway #pls don't take this too seriously #this was just smth I thought up at like three in the morning 😭 #noahtally-famous

[neo-neos]

"I watched Safe House season 1 and I need to get my thoughts out" the megashitpost xoxo

Okay so, I am late to the party (as always) but I randomly decided to watch Safe House all the way from season 1... It's unsubbed on Youtube so I have literally 0 clues about what's going on. (My hidden motive for watching WAS Pond's voice, because his voice is something very special to me but THEN.... NEO HAPPENED. Lemme tell you, I go fucking feral for that dude... ) And I wanted to make a post about the things I loved/enjoyed/noticed. For my own sanity really, to get it off my chest. It's a long one, so I will put a read more. But to summarize so that you, reading this right now, can decide for yourself if you think this post might interest you:

A quick 1-ish sentence summary of how I viewed each actor

Random silly moments/things I loved

Some very very very random screenshots of moments

A quick summary at the end. (A TLDR I guess?)

Now as I said before, I have 0 language context. These opinions are purely based on visual clues and maybe 1 Thai word I recognize or my boy Luke saying something very random in English.

Here are my 1-ish sentence descriptions of the actors.

Pond is an ipad kid who would also really like to show you his tiktok and fortnite dances. Is the biggest "Bro"-dude. I love his voice with my entire being.

Neo ... I'm so normal about him. I am completely and utterly normal about him. HFWEUHFEUWIFHWEUIFH. He is the biggest little SHIT in the house. He is hyper as fuck, always up to something cheeky. BUT GOD DO I LOVE HIM FOR IT. Yeah I eh... I don't need help.

Luke Seems to just be vibing most of the time. BRO HAS THE BEST GIGGLE. Is the only one I understood during watching because he threw in some English here and there. He seems so kind too I'm crying.

Earth feels like a dad UNLESS he is with Neo, those 2 get into some shit together and I am so here for it. ALSO HOW IS HE THIS TOUCHY??? He really has to be touching someone at all times, I love it.

Gun serves an INSANE amount of CUNT, yea that's it really.

Mix just joined to cuddle everyone and I mean that's very valid. Has the best thighs I have ever seen. Also has the BEST BEST laugh oml the giggles. - What a hecking cutie omfg. - He likes to bite people

Khaotung feels like the softest most considerate kindhearted mom I love him.

Phuwin How are you this young? Does not act his age but in a good way I like seeing him just... exist.

Tay I love everything about him, he seems so caring, sweet, funny... I just want to be his friend bro I swearrrrrrrrrrr

And here I was thinking Neo + Earth was chaos... And then Tay joined and good lord those two are CHAOS and I am in love with every single unsubbed second of it.

Some random silly things I loved throughout:

The way Gun says "Phuwin" - It is the cutest FUCKING THING ON THIS PLANET

Luke being up first and doing all these random things?? King shit fr.

Neo in general... Yeah, I'm completely normal about him.

People feeding each other... So much of this and I am thriving.

The morning bits are my fav because they all (except for Luke) look like they are coming back from the dead and it's amazing

As we all know I am VERY NORMAL about Neo and Pond… Those two talking together is like an insane experience for the thing I have for voices. GOOD LORD both their voices have me by the throat.

THE WAY MIX WALKS AROUND THE HOUSE IN THAT STRIPED SHIRT AND OH MY GOD I CAN'T

Earth touching people any chance he gets, leg squeezes mostly. So cute to see I love him.

I loved watching Luke be very much ON in the last episode, he got up to some things and the fact that he tried to read Thai and then had Tay help him I- MY HEARTTTTTTTTTTTTT

And here are some unhinged screenshots I took that made me laugh

Good morning Earth lmfao

You good mate?

Gun tryna get rid of Luke

Mix boo u good?

Good morning Tay

My man....

My fav thing is the table set up... Introverts vs extroverts type vibes. One side talks A LOT the other listens. Tay, Neo, Mix, Earth just chatting away while Kaothung, Phuwin, Pond and Luke just listen and vibe. I loved it.

Some final thoughts (aka a TLDR I guess?)

Neo.

That's it, that's the tweet.

Nah but this was an experience. I knew the eps were long and unsubbed but it is honestly so nice to just have this on in the background and to just stare at it. It was almost comforting at times to have no idea what was being said. Brain turned off, just stare at a bunch of dudes doing the funniest shit, amazing. It made me fall in love with all of them but Neo has my heart. If this ever gets subbed, I'd rewatch it. But for now, I'm on to season 2!

#Safe house season 1 #pond naravit #neo trai #luke ishikawa #khaotung thanawat #mix sahaphap #gun atthaphan #phuwin tangsakyuen #earth pirapat

[sentientgopro]

Okay, screw it, It's been on my mind alot, I'm writing the damn mirror post so I can get it off my mind.

There's a song I listen to often that has a couple of lines about "breaking the mirror". I'm the type of person who feels the need to understand every line of every song they listen to, so I googled the meaning. (Side note, part of me felt like it was right to write girl instead of person and she instead of they? I almost always use gender neutral terms in anything I say online regardless of being about me, but feeling like saying she is not something I've done before. That was weird. Back to the point.)

So I don't know how commonly known it is or whether people still pay attention to old superstitions, but apparently breaking mirrors brings you years of bad luck, but eventually you'll be just fine.

And there's obvious parallels between this idea and transitioning. Things will get alot harder after you start, but you'll be infinitely better off when you start to reach the other side. Right now, I can live simply as a guy and not have to worry about the perils of being trans, but once I break the mirror, it's on.

But I can't get over how there's this really old symbolism of taking the very thing that displays who you are, and shattering it, and it's gonna cause alot of problems for a while, but then the reflection is restored, better than ever, and all the bad is washed away.

And this was just a neat little idea in my head, until I saw a CERTAIN game with a certain stereotype was on sale for like £3 and bought it. And oh my fucking God, mirror symbolism is EVERYWHERE, because of course it is. The very incarnation of the bad parts of Madeline literally come from looking herself in the mirror and breaking it. People have talked before about the heavy Mirror symbolism in Celeste, often mentioning trans people's relation to mirrors, but recontextualising that with the superstition and the things I just mentioned made it hit so hard for me when it clicked and I put it all together.

Now, I always knew this would be an aimless rant, but I still spent a while trying to think of a good way to tie it together but its not working. I'm just gonna talk about the lyrics now and how they reflect my specific situation. Its 4 lines, in pairs, in two seperate verses:

"I need time to break all the mirrors,

But my mind is in pieces and not ready to make it clearer."

"Time to make it all clearer,

And if time never ceases I'll be ready to break the mirror."

How often do you hear trans people talk about how theyre not ready, or theyre finding excuses for themselves, and they don't know why? I'm the same, but I genuinely have a rock solid excuse for myself, that I live in an unsupportive and overcontrolling household, so I couldn't even start doing anything in secret because of how restricted I am. I should be going to Uni in about a year and a half, so that's the starting point. But even if this wasn't the case, I dont think Id start transitioing yet, Im not ready, my mind is in pieces and not ready to make it clearer.

But that's the thing, it IS time to make it all clearer. Ive got time, with no pressure, to figure myself out and improve my mental state so that I'm in the best position possible to break the mirror. So as long as I never cease doing that, I'll be ready to break the mirror.

If you're wondering what the song is, It's The Gift by Kevin Sherwood and Elena Siegman. The rest of the song isn't a trans allegory or anything, I honestly couldn't tell you what most of it is about, it's from fucking COD: Black Ops 3 Zombies lmfao. Every map in the Zombies mode of the Black Ops games has a secret song, usually by Kevin Sherwood and often with Elena Siegman singing, but sometimes its a different vocalist.

The reason I'm mentioning all this is because the map this song is on is Literally called "Revelations". Yep, certainly having a few of them lmao.

So, thanks for reading this unhinged rant about mirrors that's probably unoriginal as shit, I'm going to cut this off Immediately before I launch into a rant about how good Kevin Sherwood's music is. Honestly, hes too good to be working on COD, not to mention how Elena Siegman has the voice of an angel and a demon at the same time, that girls range is insane. Fuck, Im already slipping into a rant, I just need to stop writi

#196 #transgender

[hotcat37]

Things I like/love abt Trailer park boys,,,my beloveds

-random cats and dogs showing up throughout the episodes (I love how they just exist ig? Like they're not always acknowledged but sometimes you see a character holding a random cat or petting a dog and it rlly just makes the environment feel alive)

-I love the semi recurring gag of the boys going to jail at the end of every season, and if it's not Ricky and Julian it's only one of them or another character

-the season finales are ALWAYS fcking incredible and even in the Netflix seasons I've always been entertained by the shitstorm coming together

-the little detail of Julian always tucking his shirt into his pants,, it rlly gave him even more character to me and I was sad that he didn't do it anymore later on 😣

-the sense of community in the earlier seasons like,,I absolutely love that despite how greasy the boys' scams are they still go out of their way to help other park residents and you can tell they just absolutely love everyone there

-Ricky's cool fcking jacket when he worked at that school as a janitor <3

-everyone (well except Julian sometimes lol) being friendly to Treena despite being the kid of Mr Lahey. I found it rlly sweet that she got to hang out with them and she clearly felt rlly comfortable around them

-Trinity just being absolutely unhinged as a kid but also having this rlly sweet side to her? Despite acting off the rails at first she's mellowed out quite a lot as she got older and idk I feel like that's good for her character and makes her stand out from the rest of her family

-random but I love how Julian rejects Lucy every time she comes onto him. In a lot of shows this causes conflict cuz Lucy is ofc Ricky's girlfriend and Julian is Ricky's bestie and therefore there's often some kind of strange love triangle or at least a flirty relationship going on. But you can tell how much Julian respects Ricky and he's never harsh when he rejects her, which is a rlly compelling character trait in my opinion

-Bubbles not giving a fck abt toxic masculinity and just dressing however the fuck he likes and expressing his interests openly. It's so refreshing to see a male character just unapologetically being themselves without constantly being the butt of the joke. I also love how genuine his friendship with the boys is and that they don't make fun of him or exclude him for not being as conventionally 'masculine' as they are

-Ricky and Sara's relationship in Season 2,,,I really liked them together and they had good chemistry imo

-Randy always saying frigg off!!!! instead of fuck off but still saying bitch and whatnot lmfao

-Ricky doing absolutely insane shit (rolling a massive joint, being on fire) and Julian being completely desensitized to it

-background characters actually having names and having their own personality and running gags. They make the show feel so unique and real and it wouldn't be the same without Donnie constantly screaming "WHAT IN THE FUCK!!!!" or other shit going on in the background

-the pilot in particular tbh idk it usually takes a while for me to get into shows and I didn't have any expectations going into TPB but I was immediately sucked into the story. Like the aesthetics, the mockumentary format.... The fact that Ricky and Julian are a dynamic duo right off the bat even when they're claiming they'll stay away from each other is just so compelling. Julian very clearly being the protector of the park and having so many people look up to him sets him up as such an interesting and likeable character because we feel his struggle in both wanting to do better for himself and wanting to be there for the park residents. Ricky on the flip side seems like the 'bad' one of the two but it quickly becomes clear that he's struggling just as much as the rest of them and that he feels disoriented and lonely without his best friend. The little moment when Ricky stands outside Julian's trailer in the dark, petting a cat while Julian softly says he thinks Ricky is a good guy....just *cheffs kiss*

-the whole vibe of season 7. It really stands out from the other seasons because despite it being comedic as usual and having a slow start, there's just this weird ominous sense throughout the episodes. Like it's got this creepy supernatural feel to it sometimes. Like that shot of Julian's Monte Carlo sinking slowly into the lake, with the dark sky and shit? Horrifying. Like straight up that shit creeped me out lmao I rlly wish they'd do another season with more of those ominous moments

-I don't know how to explain this one but i fcking love how the main trio looks visually? Like not just "oh yeah they're attractive" but as in, these characters are super recognizable. In some shows I often mix characters up because there's nothing particularly outstandingly abt their appearance while here they're just so diverse? Julian's drink, his beard and his usual black outfit.... Bubbles with his massive eyes n coke bottle glasses, and his blonde hair.... Ricky with his Houndstooth shirt and pompadour and sideburns.... They just look so unique and i really wish the animated series would've exaggerated their proportions and physical traits because that would've been perfect in a cartoon setting 😫

-nobody caring that Randy and Lahey are gay. Obv this show still has some issues in regards to portraying LGBT characters but I love that none of the characters ever make a big deal out of these two's relationship. They only judge them for their strange sex shenanigans lmao Like Julian accidentally walking in on them that one time. He literally didn't even flinch he just got what he came for and when he got back he was like "geez you think you know some people...." referring to the strange roleplay but other than that he seemed completely unfazed. Idk it's like weirdly comforting to see how casual everyone is abt it

-J-Roc's dialogue bring creative and funny AF. Who's The Microphone Assassin? is one of my favorite episodes purely because of that incredible rap at the end lmfao It Could Happen To You plays randomly in my head all day every day ☠☠

-every character having a greasy side to them. Like they're all complex in their own ways and in some episodes a character could act antagonistic while the next episode they might be the most sane character of the bunch. I just like that they're not one dimensional

-the quotable AF dialogue and iconic scenes. Even ppl who have never even heard of Trailer Park Boys know the legendary scene where Lahey says "Julian! :D" and then proceeds to drunkenly stumble down the stairs. I quote shit like "had a couple drinks, saw a couple things...." or "that's one fucking nice kitty right there" so much that it's become part of my regular vocabulary 🐈

-specific but characters re-wear their clothes which makes the show feel more realistic

-the camera work being somewhat realistic and not managing to stay perfectly still when the camera crew starts running lol

-the low quality of the first seasons. It gives the episodes a nostalgic vibe to it

-Ricky being the only one who can successfully trick the cops while when the other boys try it, it fails miserably

-Cory and Trevor <3 That's it. That's the point

-it doesn't really have anything to do with the show itself but I love how many pictures/promo material that aren't in the show are available. There's so many cool pictures or deleted scenes to find online

-ig this is up to personal interpretation but I think it's cute how awkward Julian is with his love interests. Like it's not very noticeable with Candy in season 1 but with Julian's other love interests he just acts a little strange because despite the romances he's had throughout the show he clearly struggles to act any different around his girlfriends lol I think it's really endearing -all 3 of the boys openly (in Bubbles case privately lmfao) finding Coolnow absolutely adorable

This is definitely not all of the things I love abt the show but it's still quite a few! This show means the world to me so after my dislikes list it would only be right to compile what I love abt TPB <3

#Tpb #Trailer park boys #The long awaited sequel

[boinurmom13]

uncommon questions number 20 for your farmers pls. gimme. (and vowels for you abt tyler)

thank you goatmama for the questionfscxsfcs

OK

questions 20 iiiisss:

If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

Bo would explain it in such an odd fucking way. like. to the pointvwhere not even he knows. i would provide an example but i. i dunno how he would explain it. all i know is thag hed take an hour to explain how he doesnt feel romantic attraction to ANYONE but only sees it as a friends upgrade where you do the coupley stuff. and how there is barely any difference other than not liking the platonic person enough to do coupley things. and hed STILL deny that hes aromantic because he has a big fat crush on allan (his canonical boyfriend in his main story, and his ex boyfriend in the sdv story.)

Ophelia would say something along the lines of; “I’m.. not sure about the difference? I supposed it’s just a feeling. Or the difference in boundaries… But i also jump the friendship stage for most of my relationships. So. That’s a good question. Why don’t you ask someone who’s been in more relationships??” ophelia and bo are so similar in their attraction levels its insane. isaac was actually the first guy ophelia ever “fell” for, and even then she sees them as mostly friends with extended boundaries. shes be very nice about her explanation, though. bo would have an attitude for sure

Jo would DEFINITELY say “The difference is whether or not i love them like that duh?? Are u dumb or something..” (she didnt graduate highschool and has no rightvto call others dumb). Anyways. Jo couldnt answer it at all. She feels the difference. She knows it. But cannot put it into words.

Tyler would say there is no difference. The only difference is how far you’re willing to take it. He does not experience romantic attraction at all. the only reason he was married in the past was because his ex husband benefitted him. he never loved him lmfao.

im starting to notice a common theme. hm. maybe i should do some looking into myself.

ANWYAHS,

the vowels for tyler:

A) Why are you excited about this character?

He gen just has the coolest story out of all of my farmers. Ok. Sure. Bo has the angst and the shitty birth parents and all of the found family tropes. Ok. Sure. Ophelia has the divine intervention and mysterious wizard killing off her parents for “a reason.” Ok. Yeah. Jo differs from my normal character tropes, where none of them are actually moronic. She has layers of her story that relate deeper to Bo and Ophelia than you could ever imagine AND she watched her girlfriend die. Like. Yeah. those are alrigth or wtv… BUT TYLER?? TYLERS GOT THE KEY TO IMMORTALITY?? Tyler has a reason to be unhinged and careless. hes been around for too damn long. Tyler has one of the COOLEST stories ive ever put together. he IS. the def of mysterious and i love him.

E) Are they someone youd get along with? Would they get along with you?

tyler and i wouldnt get along bcz id find him creepy and weird and hed find me super annoying. he also presents more than twice my age so that aint happening. (tylers “43.” technically like 200 smth but, ignore that lol!!)

I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?

tyler. tyler’s canon is sdv technically… because all of my farmers center around bo, my first farmer. and in bo’s CANON backstory, the one that i use and manipulate to fit him into other fandoms im in, magic doesnt really exist. like. at all. so tyler would, one, be dead, and two, probably be some woman who disguised herself to fight in a war. which, is cool, but. not as cool as immortality. tyler, unfortunately, wouldnt be that awesome in the “canon” universe that hed be a part of. a lot of my stardew valley based ocs wouldnt. (all ofvthe adventurers that ive created especially.) so. i def prefer tyler in the sdv universe.

#thanks for the ask!! #oc #oc asks #original characters

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

For Ship Bingo, a collection of problematic men: Alucard/Anderson, Kirei/Gilgamesh, and Hannibal/Will.

Hey! Sorry this took a minute, I was too lazy to actually download the bingo board to edit it 😂

Andercard:

I loooove them! Narrative foils do it better! But also I am just not into any remotely fluffy or cute depiction. That is simply not the point, their entire thing is expressing interest and even respect through violence. And also the tragedy of their dynamic is infinitely more interesting to me. So I just like it more as a missed opportunity kind of thing? And idk I think fandom kind of just ignores their personalities very often.

Anyway you know I love their final battle. I love how Anderson keeps being narratively compared to Van Helsing. I LOVE how Anderson’s death facilitates Alucard’s very public breakdown, and biggest display of emotion we’ve seen from him. Just on his knees sobbing over his own past, over mistakes he’s made, over Anderson’s similar choices. Just so good. It’s also such a great choice to have Alucard try to dissuade him from using the Nail of Helena earlier. Idk they just have such an interesting dynamic and I don’t see that being explored very often?

Btw people who think Alucard tops are wrong

Kotogil:

I hate it (affectionate) Idk this is such an absurd! delightful! pairing. Gilgamesh might as well be holding up a sign reading “bratty sub looking for a dom ❤️” throughout all of Fate/Zero lmfao

Also like idk isn’t it canon though?? They live together for ten years! When the holy grail grants Kirei’s greatest wish it’s a small scale apocalypse and Gilgamesh in a physical body (aka not leaving after the war) and naked.

I’m obsessed with the idea of pre Stay Night Kotogil as Rin’s horrible evil dads. I know they canonically aren’t super involved in her life, but I do not care. Let me have this. Fate canon contradicts itself a million ways anyway.

For what it’s worth, I (clearly) think the ship is very interesting. But simultaneously Gilgamesh’s impact on Kirei and the story is also very fascinating. Like what a moral spiral! Idk so just on a narrative level I really like it.

Hannigram:

God idk these two are insane. I think people frequently frame it as bizarrely… uncomplicated? As if it’s only a story of Hannibal idk… showing Will his true self or something. And that’s simply not true in my opinion!

Hannigram, and the entire fucking show, hinges on the manipulation and cruelty. Diluting it is simply boring.

Anyway re: conflicted feelings, I just idk dude I want Will to be happy and that’s never happening with Hannibal’s insane shit. It’s a fantastic gradual villain romance imo and the way it’s handled is very interesting! It manages to walk a fine line of keeping Hannibal fucking horrible while also maintaining the romance and that’s tough generally.

I personally wish the narrative was a little more open to having Hannibal experience real weakness? And that’s a general issue I have with the show, but it’s definitely a concern with the ship as well. I would’ve just liked to see him torn down a little more, or being allowed to display any genuine desperation when things are ostensibly going bad for him. (Like when he’s held captive by Verger for instance) That would’ve brought more stakes to his character, and by extension his dynamic with Will. But also I do still like their dynamic a lot as it is. And I think the way Will is just completely disillusioned by and done with his bullshit as the story progresses does help a lot.

Tangential, but this is also another ship where violence is explicitly framed as a vehicle for true understanding and tenderness. And idk it’s so fascinating. These two make deeply violent scenes insanely romantic. Like Hannibal literally fucking gutting Will just as an excuse to touch him? Insane! Unhinged! Will talking about how he fantasizes about killing Hannibal?? “With his hands” and Hannibal is clearly really really into it???

#ship bingo #nbc hannibal #hellsing #fate zero #fate series #andercard #kotogil #hannigram #this is very off the cuff and not though out lol #i ramble sometimes #all the bendy punctuations #ask games

[fauxkaren]

Little Women - 7/10

Let’s address the elephant in the room. Why the FUCK is this show pretending that it is in any way inspired by the Louisa May Alcott book? lmfao. Yes there are sisters, the youngest of whom is an artist. And there is a wealthy great aunt. But like, the actual plot or themes? LMAO NO. My only explanation is that the showrunner, like me, was devastated as a child that Laurie and Jo did not end up together so they created this Little Women AU fanfic of a show so that their version of Laurie and Jo could get together.

It’s really funny imagining someone hearing about this show and tuning in and expecting a warm family drama and then getting... this. Secret societies. Financial crimes. Murder. Not exactly the kind of thing the March sisters got up to!

As I mentioned earlier the shows version of Jo, Oh In-kyeong, does end up with the show’s version of Laurie, Ha Jong-ho. But that relationship is just kinda... there? I was actually a lot more invested in the relationship between Oh In-joo, the shows version of Meg, and Choi Do-il - a character that really has no book counterpart. Their relationship was more interesting to me because it was way more complicated as Do-il’s allegiance was often unclear.

But who cares about the romantic relationships because the heart of the show is really the relationships between the sisters, which is I guess true to the spirit of Little Women. The two eldest sisters are fiercely protective of the baby of the family, Oh In-hye (the Amy character) and In-hye feels smothered by their affection and guilty because of the sacrifices they make for her. So there’s that dynamic and then there’s also the conflict between the older two sisters that stem from the fact that In-kyeong has a really firm sense of justice and right vs wrong whereas In-joo can see more shades of grey in the world. In-kyeong spent a chunk of her childhood and adolescence living with their wealthy great aunt while In-joo remained with their impoverished parents. Experiencing that level of poverty without reprieve has really shaped how In-joo views the world because she has seen the ways in which her life could have been so much better if her family just had a little bit more money.

The antagonists of the show are an insanely wealthy couple who are the parents of In-hye’s best friend. Their relentless pursuit of money and power and the lengths they go to attain it are the driving force behind their actions (plus like... an added bonus of the wife being legitimately unhinged) and it’s really fun watching the sisters go up against them. These girls who came from nothing, trying to take down such powerful people makes for a compelling show.

Overall, a solid drama, if you can forget that it’s supposed to be inspired by the classic book. At times it can be hard to really follow all the conspiracies and crimes, but the show does an admirable job of tying it all together in a satisfying way in the final two episodes.

#karen watches kdramas #little women