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obsessedtomone · 5 months

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Unravel Yourself Before Me ⛓️ Chapter 5 - Game Plan▸Shigaraki x femReader

Chapter Summary:

◤ There’s three reaction types when it comes to facing imminent danger. Those three are flight, fight or freeze.

Flight, fight or freeze.

You don’t run, you don’t fight. You instead manage to fucking freeze.

“W-Was wondering when your stupid ass was going to show up, creep. Thought I’d have to call the morgue to find you.” you say, attempting—and ultimately failing—to keep calm in his grasp. Your body might be frozen right now, but you don’t hold back the contempt in your voice. ◢ Setting: University AU - No quirks (unless degenerate personalities count) Tags: Slow burn, Eventual Smut, Unhealthy/Toxic Relationships, Humiliation, Mentally Ill Reader, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to ??? Warning: Dead Dove – Do Not Eat | Mind the tags TW: Implied Su/Self H, Dubcon, Reader has a super shitty past like actually, Shigaraki Tomura is his own warning.

AO3 Crosspost | Chain Divider by firefly-graphics

Chapters: One • Two • Three • Four • Five • Six

Chapter 5 - Game Plan The walk to your desk was more of a blur than anything, despite your group mates shoulder checking you on the way to their seats.

“Thanks for nothing, bitch.” you think you heard Yui(?) say to you. You wouldn’t remember it later on, though.

Your legs were definitely taking you to your destination, but your anxiety forced you to zone out, away from this moment.

Didn’t you swear to keep your head down back then? That you wouldn’t fuck with anyone, make proper enemies? At the very least pick your fucking battles?!

Sure, you were a real bitch to people, to him especially—on more occasions than one–but you still tried to avoid complex situations if you could help it. So why couldn’t you help it? Were the past few weeks too nice for you to go ahead and fuck everything up? You felt tears pricking at your eyes.

How could you have been so careless?

Don’t you dare fucking cry over this shit, I swear to god, you scolded yourself.

Shigaraki immediately turns to you as soon as you get to your seat, a smug smile playing on his lips like he was taunting you.

Scratch that, there was no doubt in your mind that he was taunting you.

Before you could hurry and shove your shit in your bag to get the hell out of here, he began speaking, his head tilting to the side.

“If you fucking apologize to me right now, and manage to speak to the prof before—” he slides his sleeve just above his expensive-looking smartwatch and casually checks the time for you, “—the class ends in about three minutes, I promise you, you won’t regret it as much as you will if you do go through with this stupid thing you started with me.” his creepy smile didn’t falter a single damn inch as he threatened you, his voice icy fucking cold.

Despite the harsh tone, he looked at you more fascinated than anything. There was a glint in his eyes, one that made you feel like you’re some stupid pet that needed disciplining. The same glint you had in your own eyes moments before the earlier disaster you stepped into.

But your brain broke at his request, and you felt a rush of adrenaline flowing through. What the fuck is this guy saying, like actually?

Instead of anxiety, you felt your anger taking over for you.

"How about you fucked off?” you happily bite back.

Or more like, take the bait.

The aggressive response you gave him visibly seemed to spur him on.

“No one held you back from doing your part of the project, asshole. Who the fuck do you think you are, exactly?" you speak to him fully unfiltered. A bad idea if you really stopped to think about it. Too bad you didn’t like to think too much in situations where your amygdala did a full hijack.

He gives you a moment to continue, basking in the way you worked yourself up just because of him. He enjoyed it when you were pushing him. It meant he got to push back.

Then, Shigaraki cuts you off…in a very unexpected manner.

“Hey, Y/n.” he calls your name in a low, sensual voice—almost as if tasting it in his mouth. His eyes narrow, revealing a flicker of mischief and something else. For some fucking reason, this made your heart skip a beat.

“Huh?”

“I’m seriously not joking with you right now. You have to fix this before it’s too late,” you blinked at him dumbly, staring into his angry red eyes and feeling some sort of familiar warmth spreading inside you—the feeling itself being almost overwhelming.

Why did he say your name like that?

Why?

You can’t register what you’re hearing anymore and the motherfucker doubles down—a certain goal in his mind.

To rile you up more.

“Be a good girl for once. Will you? For me?” he tilts his head and despite the sweet tone, he’s looking at you like he’s about to fucking devour you right then and there.

Your lips part in surprise, taking a small sharp breath. Shigaraki’s eyes darted to your mouth, something that you wouldn’t have seen had you so much blinked in that second.

Was he seriously teasing you right now? Since when were incels this fucking confident in themselves?

Oh right, probably since they were raised as rich, spoiled fucking brats who did whatever they pleased. For some reason that thought pissed you off to no end—and then you felt it. Your mind was now made up.

The professor is wrapping up, the bell rings and you sort of…snap.

"Oh. My. Fucking–, fuck you, you spoiled fucking asshole! You think you’re the center of the goddamn universe?" you point and poke your finger into his chest repeatedly, unleashing your anger on him. He was still seated in the chair, minimally flinching for the few times you poked him—something you’d missed during your little outburst.

"What are you gonna do? Fucking tell me. Are you gonna run to daddy and he'll fix it for you like he always does, huh? Take me out back and put one through my brain for tattling on you? What exactly are you going to do? You don't fucking own people, and you especially don’t own me, Shigaraki." you taunt him, desperately hoping to strike a nerve and piss him off.

Unfortunately, your hopes become a reality because his playful demeanor completely vanishes in the span of a second, replaced by a flash of fury that crosses his face. You feel the air surrounding the two of you instantly shifting.

Shigaraki yanks his backpack from the floor and stands up abruptly. He then turns back to you, his voice sounding colder than you’ve ever heard it be.

"Listen to me reeeeeeaally carefully now," he suddenly towers over you, casually sliding his rough hand across your shoulder and his fingers wrapping around it tightly–one by one.

You glance down at the action, only now noticing the big silver rings he was wearing around his index and ring finger. His grip on you was strong. Strong, just like you remembered it being in the store not too long ago. Only difference now was that this time you knew he was truly angry.

It made you shiver.

"I was going to be real nice and let you fix this little...mistake. But I think you just helped me change my mind." Shigaraki says and his hold turns bruising, hurting you.

You wince but you don't let it show, regardless of the fear that was creeping in. He reveled at the challenging look in your eyes.

Almost as if he was daring you to fucking go ahead and act out again.

"I'll make it so you'll—mm,” he hums, pretending to ponder for a second, “beg me to stop, you'll see. I’m actually really good at keeping my promises, you know?" The soft look he threw at you after was nothing other than deceitful and you wouldn’t dare to blink or even breathe right now.

His imposing presence is intimidating, but you try to force yourself to seem unbothered by his words and actions, rolling your eyes in an act of defiance and looking at anything but him.

He’s not the first creep to threaten you like this, so why was it so scary this time?

"Look at me.” he growls, digging his nails deeper into the fabric of your shirt, forcing you to do as he says, or else. “You shouldn’t mess with people you don’t know, Y/n. Did no one teach you that, hm? You seem to have heard aaall those fucked up things about me and still decided to play?" you hear him say with fake concern in his voice. “It’s okay, I’ll make sure you understand from now on. I’ll play.” he smiles.

Once he decided he was done talking to you, he pats the hand on your shoulder a few more times like a close friend would—before shoving you hard against the wall on your side and turning to leave.

You feel your back take the hit and you frown.

“Hey! I’m not fucking done talking!” you shout after him, but he was quick to slip out of the door, making you stare at his back this time around like the petty ass motherfucker you knew he was.

You look around and unsurprisingly find out that there were students who were glancing at your little charade, grimacing and whispering to themselves as they decided to finally leave the classroom.

This is it, you’re going home.

─────────

Taytay – Girl, yoU did what??? To whom?????????????? BITCH ARE YOU CRAZY???????? I didn’t tell you those stupid rumors so you go ahead and get in a fight with him!! Fuck fuck fuck, Y/n we’re so fuckeddddd. Goodbye world. RIP [Sent 3:40 PM]

Your phone lights up for the millionth time today.

Without checking your phone, you knew it was Taylor who was blowing up your DMs and freaking out after you told them about what went down between you and Shigaraki earlier. Instead of replying to them, you were hiding from the world under the safety of your blankets and trying to come down from the numerous panic attacks you had after the incident today.

You couldn’t stop spiraling and thinking about all the fucking things that could go wrong now, because this wasn’t your first rodeo with cocky idiots who tried to fuck with you, but it’s the first time in a long while that you felt so helpless. All those idiots were nobodies, but Shigaraki is…different. You felt small under his gaze and you couldn’t tell if it was your daddy issues or if it was the rumors that painted him as a heartless criminal.

No, it’s not that. It’s him.

He’s dangerous. You felt it in the store, you felt it when he was toying with you in class and you definitely felt it when you decided to fuck with him. The air around him was different. Serious.

Breathe, you mentally will yourself to stop hyperventilating.

You played a pretty mean prank on him, but is it deserving of whatever scary shit he’s thinking of doing to you? Is he really that cruel or is he just fucking with your mind? Could he tell that you’re a flimsy sheet of fake confidence away from falling apart at any point in time? You for sure fucked up this time, you realized pretty early on, but he’s being unreasonable.

Isn’t he?

Maybe you’re being unreasonable. Maybe you should’ve apologized, but you don’t think you’ve apologized to anyone sincerely in years now. No one really deserved it.

He doesn’t deserve it.

You can’t seem to keep it together right now, flip flopping between fear and denial, so you reach for your second best friend—your anxiety medication. It doesn’t kick in right away, but all you need is to feel the edge taken off. You grab the bottled water on your cheap makeshift nightstand and chug two pills at once.

That’s what you were, all bark but no bite. And he just about proved that to you in front of all those people, too.

Pathetic.

You slide down sprawling on the floor and blankly staring at the ceiling. It’s not enough, and you wish you could sink deeper. Six feet deep.

Would it help if you skipped uni for now? Who knows what that fucking criminal weirdo has in store for you. Maybe he’ll calm the fuck down if you don’t show up. What would be an appropriate time for him to forget about you? A week? A month?

A whole ass year?

Is it too late to move countries? You ask yourself but no one answers.

While you were lost in thought for hours, someone decides to pound your apartment door really fucking loudly.

Oh God, did he send in someone to mess you up?

Did he already find out where you live?

He intended to make good on his promise this quick?

Bang Bang BANG!

Fuck fuck fuck.

You stalk slowly to your kitchen—footsteps as light as you can manage against your stupid creaky floorboard, and arm yourself with your biggest frying pan in your arsenal. The one with chipped paint, because you could only afford to pay like 4 dollars for it at a garage sale.

In your pocket would be your pepper spray that you grabbed from your room on the way out.

You make your way to the door, listening carefully.

Maybe they left? Bang! You jump.

“Oh my LORD, Y/n, I swear if you don’t open this goddamn door, I’m gonna fucking kill you with my own two fucking hands before anyone else has the chance to, babe.” a familiar voice warns, the sound being slightly muffled by the door that was separating you two. You open it and feel instant relief washing over you. It’s your best friend.

“H-Hey…” you force a smile and they rush in to hug you.

"You didn't respond to any of my messages for hours,” you hear them whine in justified frustration. “I thought I’d have to ask my sugar daddy to buy your organs off the black market already so we’d have something to bury at your funeral, girl. Fuck.” Taylor runs a hand through their hair, sighing.

"Sorry, I…couldn't bring myself to reply." you fidget, feeling ashamed. You don’t like to make Taylor worry. They don’t deserve to worry. Not for you.

Your friend gives you a look of sympathy–— maybe pity before they speak again. "It's okaaaay, we're getting you through this. Maybe they were just rumours after all and he’s fucking with you, girl." you hear them say as you’re closing the door behind you. Nodding briefly, you press your hand over the hidden bruises he left under your hoodie while you tagged along behind your friend to your room, but you knew.

He wasn’t fucking bluffing.

People use words when bluffing, not leave ugly purple bruising marks on other people’s shoulders.

Before you can continue that train of thought, you hear Taylor’s yelling voice and cringe at the sudden increased volume. "Jesus Christ Almighty, Y/n,”

“You have not cleaned this room since Santa Claus visited last year, have you babe? You’re aware that you’re for sure on his naughty list now?" your friend turns to you with a raised brow and the biggest shit eating grin you’ve seen all week.

"...I was planning to." you roll your eyes and frown. You weren't really planning to clean anytime soon, but you didn't have it in you to hear more criticism right now, despite it coming from your own best friend. Your inability to properly care for yourself when you’re feeling like shit is a big sore spot for you.

"Yeah right, shut your stupid trap. Can’t even remember what freaking color your floor was so help me clean a bit." Taylor says playfully, picking up on your sour mood as they shove you to the side and start cleaning up around your room.

You understand what they were trying to do and it was working, your mind now occupied with something more physical, more trivial.

Feeling defeatedly, you begin helping them with your chores after which both of you start discussing a game plan. ─────────

What you and Taylor came up with was a bit underwhelming in battle-planning terms. You decidedly won’t skip uni over a pseudo-college-villain and instead are going to try talking sense into him, before you escalate this to your dean. Your friend wants you to apologize, but you didn’t have it in you to tell them that you’re pretty sure you haven’t apologized to anyone since 5th fucking grade.

“Who the fuck knows what that asshole is capable of. Ducking your head is also a form of fighting, hun. This isn’t the time and place to be prideful, we’ve established that he’s not someone you can reason with OR spook with your big bitch attitude like you’d usually do.” they’d said.

Despite feeling annoyed at your submission, bowing your head down this time around is exactly what you were going to do. You were fucking with a possible clinically insane guy, if the bruises on your shoulder were something to go by. There were plenty of curious students who oh-so-enthusiastically attended your little theater performance with Shigaraki on Wednesday to stand by you and be your witness, should anything go wrong. You at least hoped they would.

Realistically, you know they’d try to keep their hands clean, but that thought was for later.

With the ‘plan’ in motion, you attempt texting him multiple times, but he wouldn’t even read your messages. Or you were blocked.

You couldn’t be sure.

All that was left now, was to see him again on Monday and hope for the fucking best—that he’d talk to you and you’d get out of this mess without putting the rumors to test. The problem was, though, that you didn’t know his schedule, his major or his classes aside from the ones you shared with him, but that’s okay.

You weren’t in a rush to see him again and after a couple of days passing by completely uneventfully, you felt like maybe he lied to make you feel shitty and you wouldn’t have to talk to him after all. ─────────

Bzzt Bzzt -

Your week went by pretty fast with a few part time shifts in-between your classes and the occasional ‘what if’ spiraling that would take over your brain when no one was looking. Especially during the moments when you couldn’t distract yourself with any form of brain-rotting media.

It’s about time to leave for college. You mentally prepare yourself for the chilly air of the changing seasons, grabbing your coat, your phone and you feel like you’re forgetting something—your school bag. Cursing yourself mentally, you grab that too and finally head out.

The walk itself wasn’t very long, around fifteen minutes. You don’t exactly live on campus, but you live a few blocks away from it. Not too bad, when you consider some of the students lived outside of the city and had to travel a tremendous amount of time. Time that could be used to sleep.

A pang of anxiety hits you as soon as you get to the entrance, your brain catching up with the fact that today is the day you get to face him again. It feels incredibly overwhelming, to say the least. Like a new boss in Dark Souls, that’s threatening to kill you and set your progress back.

‘Tomura Shigaraki, ender of college careers’, you snorted at the stupid thought, hoping you won't have to rest at your apartment’s bonfire after today’s battle.

And maybe he was such a character—one to be feared, but you had already made your mind up to step into the building regardless. Bzzt Bzzt

You’ll have to remember to put your phone on silent before class, because who the fuck is messaging you right now? You never use the standard messaging app to talk to anyone, so maybe it was your manager or your co-workers, but they wouldn't message you though, they’d call, you reasoned.

Annoyed by the constant vibrations, you reach into your front pocket to check which motherfucker was bothering you while you’re walking down the hallways to your class. Before you could do that, someone bumps into you heavily, stopping you dead in your tracks.

“Oww, fuck.” you manage to get out as they walk past you. You glance back and see two idiots looking back, exchanging glances with each other. Don’t people usually apologize for bumping into strangers? Fucking weirdos.

It wasn’t just them, though. It seemed like everyone was stealing glances at you.

Yeah right, you definitely became the popular girl overnight.

More like, delusional, you roll your eyes. You know you were on edge because of that psycho. It’s not the first time your brain is imagining things happening to you when they’re not actually real.

Still, there’s a weird feeling that you can’t quite put your finger on.

After trying a great deal to ignore it and do some fast paced walking to avoid more random onlookers, you find yourself in front of the classroom’s door.

And you just…stand there. For a good while.

You’re quite early too, probably for the first time ever since you started your stupid fucking degree in this god forsaken university.

With a deep breath, you open the door and make your way to your usual spot. You grab your laptop, boot it up and quickly work on some leftover assignments for the day while you wait for the bell to ring and for you to finally have a real conversation with the white haired psycho. Bzzt Bzzt -

Goddamnit, the fucking phone.

You pull it out and unlock it, frowning at the multiple message previews on your lockscreen. There’s like five different ones, all of them sent from random ass unknown numbers. You open one of them and are immediately greeted by, hands-down, the most unflattering dick pic you think you’ve ever seen.

What the fuck?

Unknown Number – hey baby, can u take care of this 4 me?... i woke up thinking of you today and its throbbing… [Sent 7:03 AM]

Reading it makes you gag and you promptly close it, blocking the number. Then, you check the next message from yet another unknown number. Who the fuck are these people?

Unknown Number – So you need someone to fuck your brains out, huh, sweetheart? Let me take you up on that offer, I’ll treat you real good, babygirl.<3 [Sent 11:47 AM]

You can’t hold back the urge from responding to this particular idiot before you proceed to block him, so you shoot him a reply.

You – don’t worry about me bro, your dad’s got me secured. i’ll see you at the coming family reunion ;) [Sent Now]

You apparently aren’t quick enough to block this one, because you see a new message popping up from the same dude you replied to seconds ago.

Unknown Number – Damn baby you’re freaky like that? I’m so fucking down to be your daddy, when can I see you baby? Wanna meet at the nearby Starbucks after class? [Sent Now]

Oh my god, ew ew ew. You immediately hit the block button and close your stupid phone. You mentally make a list of all the websites you registered to in the past few days and wonder if any of them sold your fucking number to data scalpers. Ugh, now you’ll have to change it. What a pain in the ass.

Wait.

It takes you a moment but sudden panic sets in your gut. You quickly open the message from the now blocked number. He mentioned a ‘nearby Starbucks’? How did he know there was a Starbucks right outside your college?

Wait, after class?

The next few messages seem to be similarly natured, so you put your phone on airplane mode and slip it back in your pocket.

Was this Shigaraki’s doing? Did he leak your phone number to a bunch of creepy assholes?

Wow, sooo scary, you snort at the thought.

It now seemed so fucking silly that you were so afraid of him before. Maybe you made him up to be too much of a marvel universe villain inside your head than he actually was. It seemed possible with the list of mental illnesses you were blessed with. Surely he doesn’t want to be expelled from uni over something so stupid, does he? Wouldn’t his rich daddy mind if he sullied the family name or whatever?

The bell rings, and most of the seats are filled with students. The professor isn’t here on time today which was odd, because he was always so anal about it. While you’re spacing out, you notice a few more people turning to look at you the way you noticed they did earlier in the hallway. They glance “sneakily” and then whisper to their friends. You don’t break eye contact with one of them and scowl, daring them to keep staring at you.

Of course they don’t, since you almost always win any petty staring game people start with you, because that’s what you were—petty, and they finally look the fuck away.

What’s everyone’s fucking problem today?

Moreover, after calling your move to embarrass him on Wednesday stupid—threatening you and then proceeding to give your phone number to a bunch of horny strangers—he ends up being a no-show, huh? Taylor was damn right, the rumors around him were just that—stupid. That, paired with your trauma, you finally start to realize how much you overestimated the asshole. You shook your head, cringing at yourself for giving him so much power over you.

Instead of your comp-sci professor, a substitute trudged in. He pulled out the attendance sheet and began taking the count. You scoff to yourself because not doing the attendance digitally in a computer-science class was really fucking stupid to you. One of those professors, huh.

“Alright,” he begins, placing the sheet on his desk. “Well then, as you might have already heard, Mr. Reynolds has recently submitted his letter of resignation and I will be taking over this course for the rest of the semester,” the new professor clears his throat.

“My name is Dr. Ericson.” he says, sounding as old as he looked. He went on, introducing himself and his grading etiquette and…you lost interest.

Mr. Reynolds is—was—a legendarily uptight professor, who taught mathematics and computer science courses very…passionately��for the past two decades. In and of itself, it is kind of incredible that he’d retire from a job he was so proud of and took so seriously.

It honestly made you wonder about what could deter him from “molding the young minds of today” or whatever he was saying when you first stepped into his class and he glared at you for being two fucking minutes late on the very first day, after which you moved on with your life and kept typing away at your assignments. ─────────

The rest of your class passes by undisturbed, and you leave for the next one.

Just like earlier, you feel watched by practically everyone. By now you realized it’s not just a coincidence, something’s up. You have a feeling you don’t actually want to find out.

On the way to your next course, you find you’re walking down the hallway virtually alone, this particular wing of the building being more secluded than the others and used mainly by the robotics engineering majors. It’s kind of creepy being by yourself in cold, dark and empty hallways, but you’re thankful for the reprieve you get from the gawkers that can’t seem to stop whispering behind your back. It’s like you were back in highschool all over again and you couldn’t figure out why.

You pass by a group of guys, when one of them grabs you and effectively yanks you by your bruised shoulder. Your face immediately turns sour as you wince.

“Are you Y/n?!” one blonde dude, the guy who grabbed you, asked with a huge shit eating grin on his face.

You blink.

“Why?” you reply, frowning.

“Holy shit, it IS you!” he looks at his friends incredulously and they all start laughing like they’re in on some stupid inside joke you don’t care to find out about. “You should come hang out with us at our dorm, we can all have some fun. Take turns, y’know? Been wanting to try that out for a while now but we couldn’t find someone. I’ll shoot you a message.” he winks at you like you’re supposed to know what they’re talking about and you notice one of them adjusting the tent in his pants. Your eyes widen and you pull back abruptly.

“Fuck off! What the fuck! Get away from me, fucking creeps!” you jump back, terrified.

“C’mon baby, don’t act coy. I know you said you play hard to get, and I’m determined to deliver. We won’t bite…too hard—but I have a feeling you’d like that. Maybe we could all skip class right now? It’ll be fun, I promise.” he flashes you a smile and all of them start closing in on you like you’re an animal at the petting zoo. You feel like you’re going to puke.

Sliding your hand in your pocket, you feel the rim of your pepper spray and get ready in case he tries to grab you again. Mentally, you make a quick plan to spray whichever motherfucker looks the most annoying to deal with, and then make a run for it.

Suddenly, one of them notices something behind you, and his leering expression morphs into what seems to be pure horror. He nudges the others to get their attention, then points past yourself.

Just like that, the band of idiots are now slowly backing off.

Thankful to whatever or whomever got them to fuck off, and ready to leave as well, you begin turning around.

Apparently you’re not allowed a break, though, because someone immediately slides their arm around the one holding your pepper spray and tugs you very close to them.

Your body stills completely. “How are we feeling today, hm? Made a couple of friends already?” a familiar dark and raspy voice speaks closely to your ear and it makes you visibly shudder. His white bangs tickle the nape of your neck as he leans into you.

There’s three reaction types when it comes to facing imminent danger. Those three are flight, fight or freeze.

Flight, fight or freeze.

You don’t run, you don’t fight. You instead manage to fucking freeze.

“Hah!” he barks a sinister laugh that makes you flinch, Shigaraki holding you even tighter to him. You don’t dare to move a finger yet.

“You’re still so fucking mouthy, huh? I guess I should check in again in a couple of days since you probably still don’t understand what’s happening. Did you even get to see my present?” he cups your cheek with his other hand and forcefully moves your face toward his own. His nose touches yours, almost intimately and his red eyes that were staring into yours were more intense than you’ve ever seen them be.

As if on cue, his face twisted into something insane looking.

Maniacal.

Sadistic.

Feral.

“What fucking present, asshole,” you say, unable to stop yourself from taunting him. “You think giving my phone number to a bunch of sex offenders is going to scare me? That it?” you roll your eyes and huff at him, but your voice fails to remain even. Adrenaline is now rushing through your veins and you feel yourself gearing up to attack or to run, the initial freeze finally letting up.

As if he could read your mind, his hold on you becomes impossibly tighter. You tried again to push him away with your hands, but he held tougher than a wall. Shit hurts and you’re convinced you’ll have even more bruises tomorrow. Bruises caused by him.

Despite that, Shigaraki’s grin becomes impossibly wide.

“Tch, tch, tch. You really believe that’s all I can do? I thought your stupid little brain was smarter than this. Have I overestimated you?” he looks away in false contemplation, blatantly mocking you to your face.

“What do you want from me then?” you manage to growl out, but your voice is straining. You seem like an angry kitten next to the big bad wolf. If he felt you trembling, he spared you from mentioning it this time.

“Mmmh?” his finger touched his chin, considering your question.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

“What do I want,” his voice takes more of a higher pitched lilt as he feigns curiosity. You were really tired of him toying with you.

“Fucking nothin’ you can offer me anymore, bitch. You lost your fucking chance after your little temper tantrum last week.” his mood instantly flips to an incredibly sour one and he shoves you hard against the wall. You don’t have time to register the impact as he places his palms on each side of your head, effectively caging you in.

Shigaraki is now completely towering over you, your vision filled with only him.

“You cannot even comprehend the position you put me in after Wednesday, can you?” he leans in more, angry at you—for what, you weren’t sure. “It’s your fucking fault and now you’ll have to live with the consequences now, like the good little whore you are.”

His left hand was now cupping your face gently, an attempt to lull you into fake security—a stark contrast to the evident bitterness in his voice.

You notice his gaze briefly lowering to your lips and him slowly leaning in closer to you, so close that you can now feel his breath against your mouth.

Time kind of…stops.

If you believed you could push him away before, you now feel unable to.

Is he really going to kiss you?

And are you so fucked up that you’d let it happen?

Instead of going for your lips, his mouth goes past and just barely traces the shell of your ear, teasing you and sending an unwanted shiver down your spine at the texture. You feel him smirking against your ear.

“Just kidding!” he says, pushing off of you and throwing his hands up in some sort of act of surrender. “Wooow, look at you. Were you really hoping that I’d kiss your filthy mouth? Freak.” he narrows his eyes and chuckles darkly while examining your flustered form. Your face must be super red by now and you bet he can see the shakiness of your breaths. What was wrong with you? Why was he doing this to you?

Why were you allowing this to happen?

“My bad, my bad!” he smirks knowingly. “Maybe if you weren’t such a mean little bitch, and you’d ask politely, I’d let you ride my cock. Maybe I’ll still let you, when you inevitably come back crawling to me, begging so, so sweetly for me to forgive you.”

It was incredible how delusional this guy was. How many wrong turns did you take to unlock this event?

You’d like to deny it, to tell him that you were utterly disgusted by his filthy words, but Shigaraki talking to you like that does something inexplicable to you.

After being stunned for a moment, you push yourself off of the wall, one hand holding the strap of your school bag, the other balled at your side. He could see the anguish in your eyes and that filled him with glee.

He’s impatient, unable to wait for the moment he breaks you, everything happening just because you decided to play a stupid prank on the worst possible student in this goddamn university.

You can’t help but roll your eyes and will yourself to snap out of it.

“Hope you’ll like my little gift to you, I really put a lot of effort in it. Can’t wait to see you next Wednesday, Y/n. You should hurry now, wouldn’t want to miss your class now, would you?” Shigaraki waves at you innocently, pulling his hood up and sliding his hands into his jeans pockets. He walks backwards for another good second, basking in how disheveled you look, then turns around and finally leaves you for good.

When he’s out of your sight, your nerves let up and you slide down the wall as a panic attack washes over you. There was no doubt on your mind that whatever he’d done to you will be beyond fucked. How naive of you to think he’d be human and let this go.

You wish you could turn back time and never cross his path that stupid night at the store.

You wish you were a different, nicer person, one that knows when to bow their head or to apologize if they messed up.

Despite that, you’re still you, so you do the only thing you can think of, and call the only person who will always have your back.

Taylor.

#shigaraki x reader #shigaraki x y/n #emotional hurt/comfort #shigaraki tomura #unhealthy relationships #dead dove do not eat #trigger warnings #shigaraki tomura x reader #shigaraki fanfiction #shigaraki x you #tenko shimura #tomura shigaraki #college au #reader is female

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dimiclaudeblaigan · 10 months

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Oh man I really agree with your tags on that one post. The whole king of delusion thing is terrible to me bc like. Delusions aren’t some gotcha you can use against him? It’s a serious mental health issue? But I’d also like to add I hate when people mock him for smelling bad or having poor hygiene or w/e… :/ It’s not funny when people with mental illness can’t properly take care of their hygiene lol I thought we were all understanding of this?

EXACTLY. It's not like "wow look how wrong you are and how terrible you are for being delusional".

Also the hygiene thing pisses me off too. I know lots of his fans use it as a joke, even affectionately, but like... he was homeless. He was living in the slums. Most people around him probably smelled bad. I'm sure they and he cleaned up whenever they could, but buddy, the slums isn't a public showering area. They'd be lucky if they were able to bathe. It's not something they take for granted. Even the "smelly cape" jokes bother me.

I've met homeless people. I've lived in a shelter where I met people who prior to that shelter lived in tents. Showering and bathing isn't something they could just get up and do before being in the shelter. Those people are lucky if they can even go to the bathroom in a proper bathroom, let alone being able to bathe.

Then like you said, on top of that, he's mentally ill. He's not thinking about his next bath. He's talking to people who are dead, believing they are answering him back and responding to their answers to him. There's also the general idea that Lambert's last words were not actually what were told to us via Dimitri's flashback, but the words he remembers because of his illness. He is very likely remembering wrong, because that version of Lambert matches the version of him that Dimtiri talks to, but does not match the version of him in Rodrigue's flashback.

Even depression can cause a lack of proper hygiene, and that's also a mental illness. In his case he has full on episodes of either psychotic breaks or having conversations with people who aren't there, and when he's out of those states he's desperately trying to do what he's been told to do by those voices. He's trying to do it both for those people and because, as he expresses later into AM, he wants them to stop. Those voices harass him day in and out and ridicule him and it hurts him, so he becomes desperate to do what they tell him so they stop tormenting him (which is part why he's so hellbent on hurrying to finish his tasks in the first half of AM).

It's an absolute spiral of a situation, where he already has these delusions but now on top of them feels absolutely terrible and like someone who has been emotionally abused by loved ones for years and years. He loves them but is terrified of them because they always say awful things to him or try to say things about him that aren't true. The worst part is that these are delusions of people who loved him and were nothing like this, so it causes even more suffering for him.

I don't really understand why it's so funny to people to poke fun at characters with or for bad hygiene. Like, firstly it's... just not a funny thing/topic? And secondly I'm sure there are people uncomfortable with it because they have bad hygiene or lower than "socially acceptable" hygiene due to mental illness and feel they're being laughed at as well for their hygiene. That's definitely a stereotypical mindset and something society does to make fun of people less fortunate than them, be it physically, mentally or both (like not having access to bathing.

Rich people can bathe whenever they want and often in media look down on "stinky people" who are always the poor, generally living in the slums). It's a very unfortunate dominant mindset and almost always comes from people who are more well off and haven't experienced it for themselves to realize how awful it can be (and there are of course people who don't need to experience something to know how bad it is, and I wish there were just more people like that).

I just don't understand what's so funny about hygiene. If anything it just feels like people laughing at the concept of someone not being up to society's standards about health, and it's what literal kids do to make fun of each other. Like, if someone smells bad, I feel like we should be more concerned about the person and why that is... and that would be the case if society raised its people to think that way, but since society raised people to be the opposite (to make fun of smelly people), most people who haven't experienced it for themselves make fun of it.

Like... idk am I missing something lol, I just don't see the humor in someone smelling bad. Even without considering any implications behind it I still don't see the humor in it. Considering Dimitri's circumstances though it just feels very wrong to see people make fun of him for that. I know fans of his that do it are doing it harmlessly and most likely wouldn't make fun of real people for similar things, but it just doesn't sit right with me. There's just nothing amusing about poor hygiene.

Using it as fuel to hate on him though is just is a show of someone's true character and who they really are. :/ Anyone who makes fun of him for his hygiene and mental illness are the kind of people who look down on people with those problems and deserve to experience it for themselves to see just how awful that shit can be. It being fictional doesn't change the fact that it's a show on someone's true character to be able to make fun of someone suffering, and especially to the extent Dimitri does.

Like yes, Edelgard suffered, but she has her own way of moving past it. She's not suffering in the same way as Dimitri or handling it the same way and comes across as "strong" for that - another societal mindset from people who think it's "strong" to not show that you're suffering or have suffered. It's how she handles it, sure, and that's fine... but it's people's reactions to how differently they handle their trauma that's so obnoxious.

People can only be pushed so far, and people hate on Dimtiri for his violence despite that being part of his illness and trauma. Hating on people for being violent as a result of their feelings or past is an awful thing and I really think anyone who can hate on a good and well meaning/intentioned person (real or fictional) simply because they're violent toward bad things needs some serious introspection (like Dimitri having violent reactions to seeing innocents being slaughtered in front of him at Remire. It was an impulsive reaction that he would've hid if he could have, but he wasn't able to).

Like oh no, how dare someone be violent and aggressive toward murderers! How dare someone say off with their head when they've done terrible things! Not everyone is perfectly peaceful and puritan. Hell, Edelgard isn't either and chooses violence as her first and foremost answer to everything, and only considers "negotiations" (i.e. anything that will benefit her/the Empire and only her) if she's losing and only stands to gain from them.

Her first solution to everything is violence, and yet Dimitri is the one who gets shat on for... being violent. Because of his trauma and illness specifically, both in game and out. But since Edelgard has been able to moved past her trauma for the most part and has a different way of handling it that "looks better", he looks "bad" for not having gotten past his trauma yet. Good for her to be able to handle it the way she does, but why is it "bad for him" that he can't handle it "better"?

#DCB Ask #skybluelion #using mental illness as a gotcha against someone isn't cool and doesn't make you cool #it makes you a terrible person and very disgusting. using it as an excuse and fuel to #shit on someone is disgusting. BLAMING people for what they say/do for their mental illness is disgusting #the whole ''it's your fault you're like this'' mentality is the most disgusting gross horrific thing #it doesn't matter what the illness is. it's not someone's fault that they have it #you can dislike Dimitri as a character without using very real real life examples as fuel #bc that shit just expresses exactly how you feel abt real ppl with those problems #it's just admitting it via a fictional setting to avoid the backlash you'd get if you said that shit to real people #I know most Edelgard stans use that shit as fuel just to hate on him bc they just don't like him opposing her #and so use any reach they can get to hate on him but to pick those factors specifically is very telling #ESPECIALLY coming from the character who plans to make a Fodlan where only strong-by-her-definition ppl #will actually thrive and the rest will just rot bc ''it's their own fault they're weak''#same exact energy as ''it's their fault the mentally ill live like they do''#like damn man you know many mentally ill ppl would LOVE to be mentally NOT ill and live and thrive and do great things???#I can't speak for every Dimitri fan but as someone with mental illnesses and heavy fatigue and no real talented physical capabilities #a character like him is an example of and an inspiration for mentally ill ppl being able to actually be seen as normal #and to exist happily and to be able to get by in life and have chances like anyone else #I remember when the game came out how so many ppl applauded AM as a positive spin for the mentally ill #but that quieted down when the game wasn't new anymore and all that was left was the vocal discourse #unfortunately that resulted in us witnessing all the worst people showing their true colors

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m0tel6mxzzy · 2 years

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Heyyyy!!! I’ve followed you for a while cause generally I’ve always loved your aesthetic, but recently I went through the skins tag (it’s my current special interest) and saw that you were a fairly frequent contributor to the tag and also one of the few people who actually likes the show in an analytical way which made me so happy! (I’ve had to sift through so much toxic stuff to find people who are normal in that tag lmao) - sincerely, a fellow Cassie defender who wants proana freaks to get their freaky little fingernails off of her.

i’m gonna cry 😭😭😭 i’m really glad to hear that. that really warms my heart because i never see cassie as just her ed or mental illness. i think when it comes to skins, to me it’s “realistic fiction” on screen rather than in a book, so while yes it is fiction, stuff like what happened to cassie or effy can occur irl, and their plummeting mental health and people around them being affected by it in various ways isn’t ideal or glamorous. i feel the same way abt effy as someone who’s recovered from depression-her and cassie’s finales give me hope that you can manage mental illness if given the proper resources.

i think many pro-ed ppl think of cassie and see this character w an ed who gets attention for being sick, so obviously they want the same thing, bc ed’s thrive off of attention in some cases. but if u look closely, it only causes her to further regress into her illness because that’s what it does. it wants attention, but also to not be resolved. cassie has no idea how to cope with a disorder that gives her a false sense of happiness one minute, then loneliness the next. so even if her friends do care about her, they can’t actually help her or make her better-but by the end of the series cassie carves out her own plan toward recovery, especially for the sake of caring for her brother. she does it for herself, not for sid or anyone else not guaranteed to be in her life. because she knows later on that she deserves better.

cassie was sweet and bubbly, but learned to stand up for herself and find self reliance as she got older, and that’s what i adore about her. reducing her to her ed inherently washes away her development. i also notice pro ed ppl in the skins tag as well which is bothersome, because if they did watch the show, cassie is miserable because of her ed and the isolation it brings her. same w effy and her depression.

#i really appreciate receiving this message i’ll be smiling the whole day thanks to u :)))#edienotsedgwick #cassie ainsworth #skins uk #asks

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tastyykpop · 3 years

Text

𝐶𝑟𝑎𝑧𝑦 𝑖𝑛 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒-Part 1

Pairings: yandere mafia leader!baekhyun x reader

Genre: suggestive, smut in later chapters, angst probs, fluff here and there but its very lowkey

《teaser next》

Warnings: kidnapping, drug use, alcohol consumption, baeks kinda crazy, pet names, master kink, spanking (he literally spanks her once), choking (not in a kinky way), mentions of blood and murder

Word count: 4.9k

Tag list: @wooya1224 @geniusloey tell me if you want to be tagged!!

⚠️ this is purely fictional and not how I imagine baekhyun to actually act. If you feel like you're in a situation like this please run and report it. I do not support this behavior.

How long has it been? 3 or 5 days? Maybe even a week. You didnt know nor did you care. But why would you? You've gave up caring ever since your boyfriend, Sungho was murdered right in front of you, but you couldn't even see who the murderer was which drove you insane.

Tears and blood stained your pretty skin that night, so much agony and rage ran through your veins. All you wanted to do was curl up into a ball and scream until you passed out. But its been days since you've gotten a proper good night's sleep and it was eating you away ever so slowly. Everytime you closed your eyes, you remembered that dreadful day, Sungho's screams, the terror on his beautiful face, his lifeless bloody body. What did he do to deserve death? Why did it have to be him?

"Y/n! Y/n, its been four days please come out of your room!" It was the familiar voice of your mother and her knocking that brought you back to reality. She was almost begging, she hasn't seen you since you locked yourself away that night so you couldnt blame her for being worried, but you were fine. "I'm coming in."

She pushed your door open to see you cuddling your blanket with no emotion on your face. You looked at her with barely any care and rolled over, facing away from her.

She sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, "You know y/n, we'll get to the bottom of this and have them put behind bars. It's gonna be ok-"

"No its not," you rasped from not using your voice in so long, "I dont even know what the murderer looked like, how can we put them behind bars!?" There was a small pause, she knew finding them wasnt likely which hurt you like hell, but she was still trying her best to comfort you.

"...At least come out of your room, everyone's worried." Your mother pleaded and though you really didnt want to move, you didnt want to upset or worry anyone any further so you got up.

With a smile, she did the same and led you downstairs to where you dad and sister were. They tensed when they saw you, but nonetheless smiled sadly, thanking the heavens you were okay.

"You look horrible..." your sister, Haeun, commented making you cringe. It wasnt like she was wrong, you spent four days not taking a shower and sitting in the same clothes so of course you looked bad, who wouldn't.

You excused yourself and went into the kitchen grabbing the first thing you saw, a bottle of vodka. Now it wasnt the best drink you could've had, but you decided to drink away your pain and suffering since you couldnt take the heart ache any longer.

"Shes doing it again." Your mother whispered but you heard her clear as day. "Shouldnt we stop her?"

"What for? She won't listen and she's traumatized. There's nothing much we could do right now." Your dad spoke with sadness watching as you took a quick swig from the substance.

Normally, you're not one to drink vodka but now it felt good, maybe too good. The more you drank it, the less pain you were in. It could last forever, you thought, but nothing lasts forever.

As you poured yourself another drink, you started wondering about Sungho again. If there were an afterlife, was he happy there? Would he be watching over you, making sure you were happy and healthy?If only it were that simple.

Though you and him were starting to drift off a bit, you still cared and loved him and now you're starting to take everything you guys went through for granted. Its what you get.

Standing up, you left the kitchen a bit dizzy from only drinking alcohol and having nothing else in your system and went back upstairs to take a shower. You decided after drinking, you wanted to go to the club you always go to. Normally, you didnt go on a Thursday, but you thought since you haven't been out in a while that it would be good to leave and breathe in the fresh air.

You took a fairly quick shower and your hair and makeup didnt take long either. Finally stopping to look at yourself in the mirror, your saw how pale and tired you were. Almost lifeless. You figured that once you finally have a good time, it would all go away and you'd be happy again.

"Where are you going?" You jumped at the voice of Haeun who appeared out of nowhere.

"To the club." You stated nonchalantly,

Haeun frowned, "Thats not a good idea, all you'll do is drink until you pass out. And there's always weirdos waiting for their turn with someone vulnerable like that."

A smile formed on your face trying to lighten up the mood a bit, "Ill be fine. I promise nothing bad will happen."

Haeun sighed, almost sounding like a bratty child who didn't get their way because she knew she wouldn't change your mind no matter how hard she tried. It sucked to have a stubborn sibling like yourself.

Sehun rolled his eyes at the sight of Baekhyuns scheduled flirting session. The girl was dressed in barely anything and he could tell she was probably Baekhyuns new toy for the night as he started getting handsy with her. But Sehun could see how Baekhyuns eyes weren't always looking at her. Instead, they sometimes searched passed the girl in hopes to find something else. He knew what, actually who he was searching for so he never asked or mentioned it.

He remembered you perfectly. Your calm and sleeping figure laying peacefully on your boyfriends chest. It was a shame he had to wake you up while he killed the man. And it was a shame to see such a pretty girl cry and scream with such fright in her eyes.

But Sehun didn't feel that bad, he did what he was supposed to do with only a little remorse.

"Sehun," Baekhyun called, the younger lifted his head waiting for him to continue, "Are you sure you didn't hurt my little toy the other day?"

Sehun scoffed, "If I did, I'd be dead by now, hyung."

The man chuckled sadistically , "She hasn't been here in a while," Baekhyun looked up from the girl and turned to Sehun, "Its only safe to ask."

"Hyung, I told you before that shes probably scared." Sehun face palmed when Baekhyun glared at him.

"A little red shouldnt effect someone that bad."

"I kil-" Sehun stopped what he was about to say, forgetting about the girl straddling Baekhyuns lap and cleared his throat, "Shes not used to stuff like that, Baek."

He didn't care about what Sehun said and ignored the youngests pointless blabbering, returning his attention back the girl only for a short amount of time until something caught his attention.

You walked in his club with confidence and beauty not giving any staring man the time of day and took your usual seat at the bar. After ordering your drink, you put your head in your arms and Baekhyun grinned.

Now was his chance, there's no way anyone will get in his way and there was no way he'd let this chance go.

"Stay here." Baekhyun said to Sehun, pushing the girl off him as he stood up. She almost pulled him back but he gave her such a terrifying death glare that made her stop.

"Theres no way youre actually gonna go talk to her...right?" Sehun questioned a bit shocked that Baekhyun was actually going to you after so long.

"Of course I am, I'll be back." With that, Baekhyun walked away from the two with only one thing on his mind: you.

He waltzed with a smirk of pure evil. What would he do? Only God knew, but he couldnt help himself when he saw your pretty face.

All eyes watched Baekhyun stop next to you, astonished that he went to talk to a girl and not the other way around, "Excuse me sweetheart," You popped your head up in the direction Baekhyun spoke, he took a seat next to you with an almost comforting smile when he saw your red cheeks, "But are you okay."

You wanted to spill everything that happened so bad because you needed to get it out, but you didnt know the man and neither did he know you so all you could do was nod, "Im fine."

Baekhyun knew behind your lying eyes was someone in pain and searching for a person to hold, but he couldnt do anything just yet and tried loosening you up to him so he could do what he wanted to do in the first place.

"C'mon sweetheart, you can tell me anything." He smiled that charismatic smile of his, "I'm easy to talk to."

It was believable for the most part and you laughed a bit, the first laugh you actually had since that tragic night, "You seem like a sweet talker," you smirked causing Baekhyun to chuckle, "Whats the catch?"

"There is no catch, I just wanted to know if youre okay. And besides, I could tell you've been crying." He pointed to your tear stained cheeks and you mentally cursed yourself for unintentionally crying just a few moments ago.

"Oh.."

"Dont worry," He chuckled, "Whatever it is im sure you'll get over it." Baekhyun almost failed to hide his sinful smug as you frowned and covered it quickly with a swig of your drink.

But something inside was eating you away about what happened, you needed to let out your emotions and you started caring less and less that he was a stranger. Then again, what if you scared him away? What will happen next?

"At least tell me your name first," You blushed and shyly looked over at him who had an expecting glint in his eyes, "Then maybe ill tell you why I'm so upset."

Baekhyun stretched his hand out in front of him and you gently shook it. Damn he had a strong grip, "My names Byun Baekhyun and you?" He asked as if he didnt know who you were.

"Y/n L/n." You beamed, wondering why his name was so familiar. "So uh- my story..." Fumbling with the drink in your hands, you sighed heavily, "Long story short, my boyfriend was...murdered in front of me." You mumbled the last bit, but you didnt need to repeat yourself as Baekhyun already knew every single detail of that night thanks to Sehun.

Placing a soft hand on your shoulder he whispered with fake sympathy, "I understand now why you're so upset," Liar, "I feel terrible," No he doesn't.

He wiped a stray tear that had slipped down your cheeks and sent you a solemn look.

"I-its in the past i guess." You muttered, "I can't change a thing about it."

Damn right you couldnt. Even if there were some form of time travel, Baekhyun wouldn't dare let you try and change the past because that would mean you weren't entirely his. But since there isn't anything like that, Baekhyun has nothing to worry about except figuring out how to bring you back with him.

"Would you like a glass of water, y/n?" Baekhyun asked quickly as a thought popped into his head. You nodded your head slowly and Baekhyun called over the bartender. You werent really paying attention to him ordering the water and just let your mind slip to the sound of the music and looked around the room, tapping your fingers to the beat, but you stopped when you felt a pair of sharp eyes watching you from somewhere. You looked here and there before stopping on a man that was a about a few inches taller than Baekhyun. He had a eerie grin on his face when you noticed him, then he winked.

Chills went down your spine and you spun yourself around in your chair facing forwards causing Baekhyun to raise an eyebrow but he didnt question it.

"Heres the water." He handed the drink over and you thanked him before taking a sip. It tasted a bit weird but not all water tasted the same, though it was slightly dry for water.

"So tell me about yourself, y/n." Baekhyun checked his watch, all he needed was fifteen minutes then you were all his. "You seem like an interesting person." He looked up and smiled.

"Well," You thought about what was possibly interesting enough to tell him, "Im in my second year of college!" A smile crossed your lips.

"Oh really? Where do you go?" Baekhyun did seem interested to know some parts of your life. Somehow, you caught his attention like that. Thats why Sehun was a surprised when he finally made his move with you.

"Seoul of Performing Arts." You beamed. It was the happiest moment in your life when you got accepted and all of your family members, extended and close, celebrated your acceptance, "My boyfriend, Sungho, went there too."

He just about rolled his eyes but replaced it with a nod and a fake warm smile. If you knew him better, you'd know that smile was only him clenching his jaw in anger.

"How cute." The glint in his eyes proved he was lying and maybe you were too stupid or innocent to notice when you took another sip of water.

He watched and wished his plan could go faster, he was excited to have fun with his pretty little toy and he couldnt wait any longer.

"What about you?" You raised a brow. There was still something in your gut that made you feel like you knew him. And you still wondered why. Was he someone famous in the city? Maybe you've heard your friends mention him here and there? What was it about him that was so familiar?

"You'll know soon enough kitten." You frowned at the pet name as he pat your head like you were a small child yet you chose to ignore it.

It was a bit outlandish and made you more skeptical to know who he was.

"Thats not very reassuring, Baekhyun." Your quirked.

"Why tell you when I can just show you?" He leaned in, mocking your now pouty lips and chuckled, "The drugs should be setting in by now."

You lifted your head up with wide eyes, "Wait what?" Did you hear him right? Did he say what you thought he said? "What do you mean drugs!?" You said with awestruck as your heart raced in fear. You hoped to god he was just joking

The man before you smirked that unpleasant smirk of his, almost like the guy you saw before and you started panicking more, knowing he wasn't kidding. You tried to get up and run but you felt so woozy in a matter of seconds. Not to mention the sudden pain in your stomach that made you want to throw up. What was Baekhyuns plan? Why did he do this!? You thought at least one thing could go right tonight and maybe you could have fun, but you were wrong. So so wrong.

Trying to leave the club building, you knew you wouldn't make it but you still wanted to attempt an escape. It didn't have to be like this. Each step made it harder to move and your eyes started drooping. It was too late for you.

Already collapsed on the ground, people gasped and stared at your almost lifeless body as Baekhyun tilted his head to the side, "She tried, ill give her that." He walked over and crouched down next to you, moving the hair out of your pale face, "But not hard enough."

In an instant, your body was thrown over the man's shoulder. No one commented on anything that happened in fear that they could be next. It was impossible to say that they felt bad either, they were just glad it didn't happen to themselves.

"Sehun," He called out to the younger male but Sehun was already ahead of him, "You drive." He tossed him the keys.

With a nod they both walked out, you on Baekyuns shoulder as he took you to the expensive car. Gently, he placed you down in backseat, putting your seatbelt on for you, and climbed in on the other side to sit next to you.

"All this just for a girl." Sehun shook his head but needless to say he still smirked, "Youre loosing yourself, hyung." The car sparked and drove off into the night, no cops came searching. They knew better. And neither was there news of your kidnapping, the city stayed quiet.

Sure once your parents realized you were gone they'd start freaking out, but would they dare mess with Baekhyun? Would anyone actually try to mess with him? The mafia could easily answer that with an optimistic no. Remember, Baekhyun had power. No one is going to stop him.

"How long will she be out for?" Sehun asked.

Baekhyun shrugged, "Like an hour or two." He was excited for your life with him now, he knew you were finally his after a year of watching you come and go in his club, plus the small stalking he did when he wanted to see you, and he could only smile. No one can get in between him and your love anymore. "Shes gonna love it when she gets home!"

Sehun chuckled at Baekhyuns almost child like enthusiam and started, "She seems a bit innocent," he paused, looking back at your passed out body in the mirror before returning back to the road, "Normally women don't look off into space when someone's buying them a drink."

"Maybe she's a bit slow, but she wouldn't be here with me if that didn't happen."

The candle flickered in the dark as you awoke on a strange bed. You're head was pounding a bit as you tried looking around at your unfamiliar surroundings. What happened? Was your first thought and you started questioning where you were too. You knew something wasn't right but you couldn't understand why.

You tried getting up only to be locked in place by restraints on your wrists. They were only silk but they were tied tight enough to keep you still. Tilting your head in confusion, you heard foot steps coming towards the door and stopping for a mere few seconds before the door handle twisted.

You anticipated what was going to happen, you didnt even know what was going on in the first place, but you remembered the man standing in front of you.

"B-Baekhyun..?"

"Hey, kitten." That sinister smile was plastered on his face. You were sure it held more meanings then just one.

"Where a-am i?"

He almost cooed at your curiosity but composed himself, "At my mansion, where you'll be staying from now on."

There was a moment where you had to think, interestingly enough what Baekhyun said didnt even frighten you in the slightest, but then again you were high off the drug.

"C-Can you u-untie my hands please?" Your voice was soft and quiet, Baekhyun noticed you werent fully aware of your surroundings and complied, untying the silk from your wrists.

Your eyes were a little dilated when you looked at him. He was gorgeous, you had to give him that, though you wanted to remember why something wasn't sitting right with him. "Baekhyun?"

He looked up with a hum.

"Who...are y-you to me?" You squinted your eyes at the man who sat on the bed next to you, drawing small shapes on your thigh in a sort of loving manner.

"Your boyfriend, y/n."

Boyfriend? You have a boyfriend?

"I have a boyfriend..?" You muttered and asked more to yourself than to him, but he snickered, knowing way more than you did.

"Kitten you drank too much, go back to sleep." He lied and pushed your shoulders down so you were flat against the mattress.

"I-i did?" You whined when Baekhyun kissed your cheek. He always wanted to kiss more than your cheek, he couldnt bring himself to do that unless you were fully conscious for him.

"Yes baby girl, so get some sleep."

You grumbled, "I-Im not t-tired."

Baekhyun sighed, "Then what would the pretty girl like to do?"

You perked up on the mattress and grinned, "Im hungry!"

"Youre hungry?" Baekhyun repeated with a smile at your small childlike energy and you nodded back, "I can ask someone to make you something if you'd like."

"Please!"

He stood up, waiting for you to do the same but since you weren't very awake, you stumbled a bit.

Baekhyun settled with carrying you to the mansions kitchen, awing at your cuteness the whole time. It was a bit of a walk but luckily you were light.

Sitting you down, Baekhyun walked off, finding someone to cook for you. In your state, you felt a bit lonely, only knowing Baekhyun and not your surroundings, it made you feel a bit lost. It shocked you too how you didnt remember Baekhyun being your boyfriend, you started question the relationship between the two of you more.

"Princess i got you your favorite dish!" He walked in with a plate of jjajangmyeon and set it down in front of you.

Your mouth was watering and you were ready to dig in before wondering, "H-How do you know m-my favorite dish?"

Baekhyun hesitated at the question before clearing his throat and spoke with a raised brow, "We're dating y/n, why wouldn't I know what you like?"

"Uh yeah..right...." you dug in, your mind was starting to clear up a bit, not enough for you to fully remember anything though. But the more you thought, the more consciousness you regained.

Baekhyun watched as you gobbled down the meal with full satisfaction. This wouldn't be the first time he's watched you and neither would it be the last. He liked knowing you were eating well and were healthy so he was proud.

"I-im done!"

"Good girl. Now wait for me to come back so we can go to bed, okay?" You nodded and sat patiently as he took your plate and waited for your boyfriend to come back.

A few moments later, Baekhyun still was no where to be seen and your mind was slowly coming back, "N-no...wait." mumbling to yourself, you figured it out in just mere seconds and remembered that your boyfriend was brutally murdered four days ago in front of you. After four days you went to the bar to drink away the anguish and met someone, that someone was Byun Baekhyun. After thirty or so minutes of talking to him, you were drugged when you werent paying attention and passed out minutes later. Now you were here at Baekhyuns mansion, lied to and kidnapped. "Oh fuck."

The chair scraped against the floor and you wasted no time running to your hopeful freedom.

But you weren't a lucky person. Oh no you weren't. You were tossed and pushed against the door you were about to open by someone much bigger. He was the same guy you saw at the bar and his smirk was nothing different. Cynical and frightening.

The man stepped closer to you before putting one hand next to your head and whispered, "Are you playing a cat and mouse game with hyung now? How cute." Standing tall, he grabbed you by the hair and dragged you back to where you came. You groaned and tried fighting back, but there was no use, he wasn't going to let go until after he practically threw you into Baekhyuns arms.

You were about to scream at Baekhyun and the no name man until Baekhyun covered your mouth with his hand, "Say something and you'll regret it." He growled into your ear as you shook and fought.

You hummed against him and tried biting his hand and punching his side, but he was like a man of steel and let it happen, only raising his brow like he wanted to hurt you, but didnt.

"Sehun, tell Chanyeol to lock all the doors for the next week or so 'til she learns how to behave."

The man nodded and ran off leaving you two alone. Fear was one way to describe it and the look Baekhyun gave you didnt help.

"Now kitten why would you go and do some shit like that? Are you asking to be punished?" He took his hand off your mouth to let you speak. Baekhyuns aura was much different than earlier. The nice guy was gone and you were left with a man who could kill you with just one look.

You stopped hitting him and screamed viciously, "Fuck you! You're fucking insane!"

"Now now princess," he pressed a hand to your throat, wrapping it tighter and tighter until you felt the oxygen leave your lungs, "It seems as if you're asking for a punishment."

"I-if you...s-so dare to-touch..any other p-part of my body, i-ill....kill you..." You whimpered, grabbing his wrist in attempts to pull him off but Baekhyun was relentless, keeping his grasp tight and painful.

"Stop struggling, you're only making this harder for yourself."

There were two options now, either listen to Baekhyun or fight until you passed out again.

"Princess." His voice held a warning tone and you hesitantly stopped and moments later he loosened his grip, you knew there would be marks by tomorrow, "We are going to bed now. Don't try to run, I have this place guarded up and if you do somehow make it out, be prepared because I will find you and beat your ass until you can't sit for a month. Understand?"

Your stomach did flips and not in a good way, you were scared, "Y-yes."

"Can you say 'yes master'?" His voice went higher as he said the last part to mimic yours.

You sighed, positive if you didnt comply then you'd be here all night, "Yes m-master..."

"Good girl." He kissed your cheek and you almost smacked him in disgust but tried not to act aggressive towards him. You wanted to leave, not be punished by whatever he had in mind. "Call me that from now on."

Baekhyun grabbed your hand and led you to the room you were just in, now that you took a good look, it was a pretty room. There was a red sofa against the wall and some other matching chairs plus a huge flat screen TV hanging on the wall facing the bed. You had to admit, he had good taste but he was still insane.

As you sat down on the bed, Baekhyun reached into his draw to pull out a t-shirt and handed it to you with a wide smile, but you raised a brow at the fabric.

"No pants?" You asked.

Baekhyun chuckled, "What for?"

"Because of creeps like you." You grumbled and snatched the shirt that dangled in front of your face before storming off into the connected bathroom. Inside, you could hear Baekhyuns annoying laugh and ignored it, changing into the surprisingly very oversized shirt that went down to your mid thigh.

Taking the clothes you wore earlier, you went back into the room where Baekhyun laid peacefully on the bed, waiting for you.

He only had his boxers on which made you groan in anger and decided to not lay on the bed and instead on the couch near it.

"Princess, what are you doing?" He perched himself on his elbows, watching you throw your clothes on the ground then take the folded blanket on the couch and wrap yourself with it as you laid down.

"Going to sleep, master." You stated coldly with a glare.

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, "Get over here." He said, voice low and laced with dominance but you remained still, closing your eyes and pretending as if you were asleep. "Y/n." He warned but there was no reply.

"Thats it." You heard him get up and march to where you laid. Baekhyun picked you up and you yelped at the sudden intrusion and were thrown over his shoulder.

Smacking his back got you nowhere as he threw you down on the bed, pinning both your hands down and hovered over you with a killing look, "Next time you don't listen, ill bend you over my knee."

"Youre all talk, no action." In an instant you were flipped over and a hand landed straight on your bare ass, leaving you shocked and mouth agape.

"Are you sure, kitten? Would you like me to spank you again?"

"N-no."

"No what?"

"N-no master.."

Baekhyun slowly let you go and laid beside you, still a bit irrated. "Now go to sleep."

You couldnt. Not with the lingering fear of what could happen next. Plus, not with his arm wrapped around your waist with a somewhat tight hold. You were just too scared to let your gaurd down. Why shouldn't you be scared though? What if he took advantage of your sleeping body and did something terrible.

There was no way you could get rest now. You could now count this as your fifth day without proper sleep.

#exo smut #exo #exo fluff #exo angst #exo baekhyun #baekhyun exo #byun baekhyun #byun baekhyun smut #baekhyun smut #mafia au #yandere baekhyun #yandere #kpop smut #kpop fluff #kpop angst #kpop #kpop scenarios #exo scenarios

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crystalninjaphoenix · 3 years

Text

Triumphs & Tribulations

A JSE Fanfic

This turned out surprisingly long for being written in the middle of my midterms. Probably goes to show where my priorities are when I’m writing during downtimes in class. But hey, it’s here, and at no expense to my grades! This is a big one, as Marvin’s hearing finally wraps up, Chase goes to visit someone and finds things have changed, and JJ? Well, it’s Halloween and his birthday, something’s bound to happen. Hope you enjoy it!

You can find the other stories under the pw timeline tag!

The entryway of the courthouse was busy, many people milling about. Marvin wasn’t actually surprised, after all, this was a big case for the city. But that didn’t mean he liked it. He sat on one of the benches, playing anxiously with a Rubik’s cube in his lap. Not to solve it, just to do something. His lawyer, Aja, sat next to him, looking through her files.

Someone pushed through the crowd, coming to a stop nearby. “Marvin!” she called. “Am I late?”

“Huh? Oh!” It took Marvin a moment to recognize Dr. Laurens. “No, uh, you’re fine. We’re on recess, you don’t actually go on until later.”

Laurens sighed, relieved. “Sorry, traffic. I-I went slow, too, because. Well.” She gestured to her arm, no longer in a sling but still in a cast. “Much more mobility, and my wrist is better, but I’m still supposed to be careful. When does the recess end?”

“Uhh...” Marvin checked his phone for the time. “Just a few minutes. But it’ll still be a few minutes after that before you need to testify. Right, Ms. Bakshi?”

“Right.” Aja nodded. “Don’t worry, just head into that side room. All the people called to testify are waiting in there.”

“Oh.” Laurens followed Aja’s point towards the door. “So, this is a proper trial now and everything? I was told this was just a hearing.”

“Yes, but due to the sensationalism of the case, the hearing is being treated as a trial,” Aja explained.

“It’s stupid,” Marvin muttered. “I mean, I guess I’m glad that it’s getting attention, but I think maybe it’s a bit too much.”

“Look at it this way, now that it’s televised, public pressure will be up, and on our side,” Aja said.

“Well...good luck,” Laurens said. “I guess I’ll see you after this trial?”

“Yeah, sure,” Marvin shrugged.

That wasn’t very encouraging. “Uh...yeah. See you then.” Laurens awkwardly backed up, then turned and hurried towards the side room door.

The small side room looked a bit like a combination parlor and waiting room, so of course Laurens was right at home. The furniture was in shades of red and brown, contrasting with the green potted plants in the corner. One of the tables against the wall had a TV on it, showing a view of the courtroom. There was another door on the opposite wall that led to said courtroom. And surprisingly, there were already two people in there.

“Oh, Dr. Laurens, I see they’ve called you to testify.”

“Ah, hello. You’re those...detectives,” Laurens recalled. “Nix, and...I’m sorry, I don’t remember your name.”

The other detective bristled, but before he could say something snappy, Nix raised a hand and quieted him down with a gesture. “This is Hooper, don’t mind him,” he said. “How have you been? I see your arm has been healing well.”

“Yeah.” Laurens rolled up her sleeve to reveal the cast on her arm. “No sling anymore, and the doctor says I might be able to lose it entirely in another week or two, though I might still need a wrist brace.” She sighed, and rolled it back down. “A-anyway, why are you two here? Are you testifying, too?”

Nix nodded. “Yes. They wanted a statement from us reassuring the court that Henrik von Schneeplestein is not dangerous.”

“He’s not.”

“Well, we know that, but the public doesn’t,” Nix explained. “For a long time, he was our only suspect in these killings.”

“Nix, he still helped,” Hooper protested.

“Under threat, while he wasn’t in his right mind,” Nix said sternly. “Is that correct, Dr. Laurens?”

“Right.” Laurens nodded faintly. She could still remember her short time with Anti and Jackie as if it was just recently. And she didn’t think anyone could last long in those conditions.

“Not to mention his original disappearance turned out to be a kidnapping,” Nix muttered, side-eyeing Hooper before turning back to Laurens. “You know, I thought it was...strange, when we finally found him. You received the report on the arrest, right?” He waited for Laurens to nod again before continuing. “Yes, the house’s doors were all locked, and they all required the use of a key on both sides in order to unlock. Yet Henrik didn’t have a key. The real killer, this Anti, must have left him behind to take the fall, possibly fleeing the scene seconds before we arrived. Henrik got convicted anyway due to all the security footage and his fingerprints being at every crime scene, but personally, I think those would be easy to manipulate.”

Before Laurens could reply—though she didn’t know what she would have said anyway—there was movement on the TV, the one showing the courtroom. It appeared as though people were entering the area, settling down in their seats. Curious, she walked over, noticing a pair of volume buttons. Turning the sound on led to a bunch of chatter.

“Looks like they’re getting ready to start again,” Hooper commented.

“Yes, it seems so,” Nix agreed. “This must be to let us know when we’re being called to testify.”

Hooper shook his head. “We could’ve refused to come in,” he muttered unhappily. “We already gave them all the relevant case files.”

“Oh come now, this would be stronger for the prosecution,” Nix said. “We just have to confirm what’s in the files and clarify any questions.”

Feeling nerves start to crawl up her stomach, Laurens took a seat in the chair closest to the TV, anxiously waiting for her cue.

It wasn’t long before the time. The hearing proceeded with statements of the charges against Newson, and her lawyer attempted to counter said charges. Marvin’s lawyer responded, and announced they had someone to testify about Newson’s malpractice. The judge called for this testimony, and Laurens stood up, just in time for one of the courtroom’s employees (she wasn’t sure what his actual job was) opened the door. She nodded at him, and hurried out.

Laurens had never been in a courtroom before, and she was surprised that it was exactly how she pictured it to be. A grand room, some tall windows, a spot for the judge and the two parties. The only difference was the camera crew set up in the aisle: about four people dressed in dark professional attire, a table with a computer and some equipment, and a large camera. There was even a boom mic, being held by one of the people. Laurens tried not to look directly into the camera as she walked across the courtroom floor and took a seat at the table the judge was pointing her to.

“Dr. Laurens.” The lawyer sitting at Marvin’s table stood up, walking around to stand close to Laurens’ table. What was her name? Bakshi? “Please state your name and occupation.”

“Oh. Right. Well, I’m Dr. Rya Laurens, I’m a psychiatrist at Silver Hills Mental Hospital,” Laurens said.

“And what exactly do you do at Silver Hills?”

“Well, uh...I-I help people, um...who have checked in. My specialty is forms of psychosis and dissociative disorders. Currently my only patient is...um, the one in question. Henrik von Schneeplestein.” Her eyes couldn’t help but drift over to look at Newson as she talked. But Newson was very deliberately not looking at her.

“I see. And your relationship with the defendant?” Bakshi waved her hand in Newson’s direction.

“She’s—she was my boss, head of the hospital,” Laurens explained.

“And how involved was she, as your boss, in your patient cases?”

“Oh, uh...normally not very. But this one was different, she got...pretty involved,” Laurens admitted.

“Can you give an example?”

“W-well, uh...” Laurens swallowed nervously. “At first she offered to take the case from me, and one time when I was sick, she took over that day’s session with Schn—the, uh, the patient. Which resulted in one of the orderlies being injured.”

“I understand that was not the only time she did this, correct?” Bakshi prompted.

“No. When I was, uh...” Laurens paused. “...unavailable for a few months, she took over the case entirely.”

Bakshi nodded. “Tell us about what happened during this period.”

Laurens took a deep breath. This was easy. She just had to...just had to do it. “Well, obviously I wasn’t there, so I don’t know the specifics of what happened in the sessions and such. I guess, uh, you could ask the orderly on duty for that. But I do know that when I returned, Schn—Henrik, the patient, had his mental health severely degraded, and had lost all progress we’d made before. He was...very upset, and his hallucinations had gotten worse. A-and also, I checked the medication records, and Newson had prescribed large doses and—and unnecessary sedatives, both of which would have an—an effect on Henrik’s physical and mental well-being.”

“And would you say she did so deliberately?” Bakshi asked.

Laurens hesitated for just a moment. “Yes, I would say so. Definitely. It was clear that Dr. Newson harbored...um, ill feelings for Henrik.”

“Thank you very much, Dr. Laurens.” Bakshi looked at the judge. “The prosecution rests our case.”

“Very well,” the judge said in a deep voice. “The defense may proceed.”

Newson’s lawyer looked uncertain, but stood up, and cleared his throat. “Dr. Laurens, would you say that...that at any point, Dr. Newson broke the regulations of Silver Hills?”

“I, uh...don’t understand the question,” Laurens said quietly.

“I mean, is it against the regulations for Dr. Newson, in her position as head of the hospital, to be involved in other cases, prescribe medicine, or take over a doctor’s case when unavailable?”

“Well, no, not technically,” Laurens said slowly. “The head doctor may do all that, though it’s not very common, as she has her own patients.”

“So at no point did Dr. Newson do anything against the rules?” The lawyer stressed.

“Wha—no, I didn’t say that,” Laurens denied. “I mean, we have a policy against taking patients you are personally involved with, and I...I understand that Dr. Newson was personally involved.” Laurens said this last part quietly. “And she didn’t tell anyone.” Then she cleared her throat. “Furthermore, the medication prescribed was dangerous and unnecessary, and qualifies as misuse. The ethics committee has a strict restriction against misuse or abuse of any kind.” Her voice became stronger. “And even furthermore, I can confirm that the sessions she had with Henrik worsened his issues. And I didn’t know it at the time, but the hospital requires all patients to be let out of their rooms at least once per day for one hour, which Henrik was denied on Newson’s orders.”

The lawyer appeared to be at a loss for words. Laurens let out a long, long breath, and ended up glancing towards Newson. She still wasn’t looking at her, and Laurens wasn’t sure if she was relieved or hurt. “Well, ah.” The lawyer cleared his throat. “Thank you for your time, Dr. Laurens. The defense rests, Your Honour.”

“Yes, I see.” The judge nodded. “The witness may leave. Though I advise you to stay near court, in case we need to hear your testimony again.”

“Ah, thank you, Your Honour.” Laurens stood up again and hurried back into the side room. That didn’t take long at all. Hopefully, this will be over sooner than she thought.

——————

Unfortunately, the hearing would drag on for some time. Marvin zoned out halfway through, playing games on his phone, while Aja did most of the talking and legal details. At one point, the judge asked him about his relation to his case, and so he put away the phone and quickly explained how he was friends with Schneep. But then he went immediately back to his phone. He knew he should probably be more engaged, as the one who started all this, but he just couldn’t help it.

Eventually the court called for a recess while the final decision was debated. “It’s looking up for us, Marvin,” Aja said with a small smile. “Though be prepared, just in case.”

“Yep, mentally ready for anything,” Marvin said absentmindedly.

Aja’s smile faded. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, trust me. I mean, I know I don’t look it, but I’m ready.”

“Hmm, alright. Just be sure.” Aja straightened her papers into a single stack.

A few minutes passed. And suddenly, Marvin got a text from Chase, letting off a loud ding! sound in the middle of the mostly-quiet room. Marv i have some big news! Im on my way to meet the kids rn but im gonna call you after to tell you.

“Huh?” Marvin said out loud, blinking in confusion. He sent a message in reply: What do you mean? Is it good or bad?

Before Chase could reply, the hearing quickly reconvened, everyone returning to their spots. Marvin put his phone down, watching the judge stand up to deliver the court’s decision. “After much deliberation, we find Dr. Jennifer Newson guilty of malpractice. As of right now, her license to practice is to be revoked, and a fine of £70,000 is to be paid to Silver Hills Mental Hospital. However, the prosecuting party Marvin Maher was in the wrong to trespass and take information from Silver Hills, and thus must pay a fine of £25,000 to that establishment.”

Marvin raised his eyebrows, visibly surprised. That was...a lot. But he could probably scrape it up. While the judge continued with the particulars, he leaned over to look at Dr. Newson. Her expression...was utterly devastated, but resigned. She knew something like this was coming. Marvin stifled his urge to give her a smug grin; no need to add insult to injury.

The hearing adjourned immediately after. Marvin and Aja headed outside quickly, so as to avoid the television crew that was now anxiously looking for people to interview. “Whoa, it’s like evening,” Marvin gasped, looking up at the twilight sky.

“It was, uh, certainly pretty long.” Laurens appeared nearby.

“Aah! Oh, it’s just you.” Marvin relaxed.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” Laurens mumbled. “But, um. Congratulations!”

“Ah, yes, thank you for your congratulations. It means a lot, considering I just got your boss permanently fired,” Marvin said, unable to keep a hint of a smile off his face.

“Well, um...I guess it was really her own fault,” Laurens said. “I mean, it’s...bad for her, but I think it was the right thing to do. If this was how she reacted with one patient, she could’ve been doing this for others, too. A-and I don’t think they would’ve revoked her license on just the first incident.”

“Well, this was a very well-known case,” Aja pointed out.

“Oh yeah, by the way, thanks for your help,” Marvin said to her. “I’ll send you the check.”

“No problem. If you’re ever in any similar trouble, let me know. You still have my card.” Aja nodded, then turned away. “I’ll be heading off now.”

“Yeah, see you. Again, thanks!” Marvin waved as Aja slowly headed off. Then he looked at Laurens. “Uh...need a ride or anything?”

“No, I drove here, but thanks,” Laurens said.

“Oh good.” Marvin paused awkwardly. “Because, uh. I didn’t. Could you, uh, drive me over to my house please?”

Laurens thought about it, then shrugged. “Sure. I don’t think it’s too far away. My car is this way.”

“Thanks so much.” Marvin hurried after her as he headed to a parking lot.

“No problem!”

And so they headed off. Marvin breathed a sigh of relief. This whole ordeal had been on his mind for so long, he was glad it was all over with. Maybe things could slowly start to return to normal soon. Or at least some semblance thereof.

——————

“So, Happy Halloween. It’s that time of year again. Pretty nice outside, too, like that sort of fall day where everything is just like, crisp and cool, y’know? Usually it’s just all foggy and cloudy and cold here. Honestly that’s one of the downsides of this part of the world, there were a lot of fall days like that when I was a kid. Or maybe that’s climate change, ha ha.”

Chase smiled a bit, leaning back in the hospital chair as he looked over at Jack. Of course, there wasn’t much of a response. But he talked anyway, as always.

“Anyway, I’m taking the kids trick-or-treating this year. That’s gonna be later, thought I’d stop by first. Stacy sent me pictures of their costumes. Nick’s a bat, and Sophie’s a cowgirl. She really likes horses lately, we were talking about having a horse-themed party for their birthday, but Stacy said that wouldn’t be fair to Nick. I dunno, he likes cowboy stuff well enough, and I think when you’re four-turning-five you don’t really have strong opinions except for a few things. Or maybe that was just me.”

Jack’s hand moved a bit, inching closer to the edge of the bed. That was happening more and more recently, which was apparently a good sign, according to Dr. Emerson. But Chase still jumped a bit as his arm and shoulder shifted position.

“Oh hey, do you remember like, two years ago when you did that, like, game thing with the videos on your channel? With all the glitchy stuff that Jackie edited? That was fun.” Chase chuckled. “Man, the community really liked that, huh? I-I tried to do a couple game things similar to that, but I’ve left all the glitchy stuff for you, don’t want to steal your thing. Nothing for Halloween, though. But I did record another pumpkin video, that’ll be going up later. If you don’t keep doing this every year once you’re better then I’ll just move it to my channel, it’s pretty fun.”

There was another twitch. Chase stopped talking for a moment as Jack’s head slowly lulled to the side, so that his face was now partially facing him. That one was new. Should he tell someone? Maybe move his head back? After a moment, Chase stood up and looked over the oxygen supply and cannula system, and concluding the movement hadn’t upset or anything, he figured it was probably fine. “Be careful, bro, don’t want to unplug shit, you need that.” No answer, but it felt a lot more personal when Jack was actually looking towards him.

Slowly sitting back down, Chase continued talking. “Oh yeah, a couple more things happening today. JJ’s birthday. I want to go visit him, but y’know. Kids. I didn’t see them last year, so.” He swallowed a lump in his throat. “Also about a year since we met him, so it’s kinda special. I dunno, maybe I’ll drop by real quick on the way back home. But Marvin won’t be able to visit until later, either, maybe I’ll wait. That’s the other thing, he’s in, uhhh, court, y’know? That thing about suing Schneep’s old doctor, the one who was a dick. He’s pretty confident, so I hope it’s going well right now.” He paused. “Maybe I should go see Schneep later. I mean, I can’t, visiting hours and all that, but Laurens, the good doctor, told me last week that’ll be changing soon, maybe I should stop by anyway to check, later tonight before going to see JJ.”

“Mmmmhnn.”

“But I don’t know, would that be too annoying? I don’t want to be one of those people, the ones who...wait.” Chase had been staring blankly at the opposite wall, but now he looked back over at Jack. “Did...was that...did I hear...?”

Jack’s other hand raised up briefly into the air before flopping back down. “Mmnnh. Nnnnhh.” Then his mouth opened. Just a little bit. “Uuuhhhn. Aauhh.”

“Holy shit.” For a moment, Chase just stared, in total disbelief. Then, he kept staring, unsure what to do. “Can you...do that again?”

A pause. And then some more mumbled, incoherent sounds. It might have been a coincidence that it happened after Chase asked him to do it again, but the fact remained that those were sounds. That was Jack’s voice.

“Holy shit!” Chase shot to his feet. “Hang on, I—shit—I have to get somebody!” He rushed over to the room’s closed door, throwing it open and leaning out into the hallway. “Hello?! Anyone?! There’s something—th-there’s a—he’s—!”

“Hhaaaay.” Chase whirled around as Jack made another sound. “Eeeee...?” His mouth opened and closed a couple of times, as if he couldn’t get it to form the right letters. “Ssssaaay?”

“Say? Say what?” Chase gave up on the door and hurried back over. “Are you actually trying to say something, or is this just—I-I don’t know, just—god, I don-don’t know.”

“Saayys...eeeelluh?” It sounded like a question, the way Jack’s voice was rising at the end. His hand raised and fell again, and his body turned a bit more in Chase’s direction. Wait...was doing this on purpose? Like, these movements weren’t just random muscle spasms? “Saayss...weeeluh?”

“I-I can’t understand you, bro,” Chase whispered urgently. “What’s ‘saays’?” It was only after saying it out loud that he realized. The sound Jack was making...it was almost like his name. “Are you trying to say ‘Chase’? Is that it?”

“Sss...Ssshhhaays,” Jack mumbled. “Weel? Ww...w...weellyy hhhewh?”

“Wheel? No, that can’t be it, can it? Wheely? Hewuh?” Chase shook his head. “I’m sorry, I still don’t get it.”

“Is everything alright in here?” A nurse poked her head into the room, looking worried.

Chase glanced back over towards her. “He’s speaking, h-he’s trying to say something! I—this is—he hasn’t—”

The nurse nodded, immediately grasping the situation. “Wait right here, sir, I’ll go get a doctor.”

“Dr. Emerson is in charge, if you can,” Chase called after her as she left. Then he immediately turned back to Jack. “Can you say that again?”

“Weeel...ehssss...weeeel?” The corner of Jack’s eye twitched, then he blinked. “Shhhaays?”

“Ehs wheel,” Chase repeated. “Ehs...Ihs...is? Is wheel? Is...real?” That sounded right. “Of course I’m real, Jack. You’re awake now, right?”

“Nnn...nahhh...” Another blink. “Naahh...ffff...ffffff...fffffayy?”

“Nah fay? No fey? Like fairies?”

“Nnnah. Nnauuhh...fffffaay...ffffay...ffffay—” Jack made a strange harsh breathing sound. He seemed to be having trouble with that word, but Chase was pretty sure the repetition meant he was really trying to communicate.

“Take it easy, bro.” Chase reached up and took hold of Jack’s arms on either side, gently. He glanced over towards the vitals monitors. They seemed increased in activity, but not to dangerous levels. “Okay, that’s nauh...maybe it’s not ‘no’, it’s ‘not’? Not fay? Fay fay fay...fffate. Faith. Fail. Fade. Fake. Not fake?” Chase smiled a bit. “What, is there a fake Chase running around?”

Jack groaned quietly. “Ffff...ffayy Shh...Shhaaaysss. Ffayy Shhayss. Ffayy mmm...mmmahhffnn.”

“Muffin? No, that makes no sense,” Chase muttered. Maybe it was another name? After all, it would make sense in the context of Jack saying Chase’s own name.

“Ffaay Shaayys. Fffay mmm...Mmahfffvfnn.”

Chase’s expression fell, cold dread filling his heart. “Fake Marvin,” he realized. “That’s what you’re trying to say, isn’t it? Fake Chase, Fake Marvin. Jack, was...was there someone here pretending to be us? Do you...remember that?”

“Fffayy Shaaayss. Ffaaay Mmahffn.” Jack’s head listed slowly to the side. His eyes remained staring straight, causing his gaze to shift. “Ffaay Shayyss. Fffayy Mmahffnnn. Ffayy ahhhshee? Ffaaay shnnneee?”

Footsteps pounded against the floor, and Chase looked back to see the nurse returned, Dr. Emerson in tow. “Mr. Brody!” Emerson looked flushed, as if he’d run all the way here. “Is it true?”

“Y-yeah.” Chase nodded. “Yeah, it’s—”

“Mmmmn.” Jack’s head rolled back around, falling forward. The force of the motion caused the rest of his body to lean forward, too, until his head hit Chase’s chest. “Sshhaays. Fffff...ffffffeh...”

“My god,” Emerson said, stunned. He gestured to the nurse, who hurried around the side of the bed to look at the readings from the equipment. “When did this start? Has he said anything clearly?”

“Uh, about a minute ago.” Chase lifted Jack’s head up and gently pushed him back into place. Jack groaned, and his hand shook irregularly. “I-I don’t know what you mean by ‘clear,’ I mean, I’m pretty sure he’s trying to say something, but there are, uh...n-no words that you can just hear. It’s all mumbled and slurry.”

“I see, I see.” Emerson hurried over, quickly looking over the equipment as well before leaving that to the nurse. “What about movements? Gaze?”

“He’s just looking straight ahead, but his eyes are staying open. Moving is, uh, random, but I think it’s deliberate? He just can’t make it happen.”

“Alright, I understand.” Emerson leaned over Chase’s shoulder. “Jack, this is very important. If you can hear me, try to say something. Try to say your name.”

Jack blinked slowly. “Eeuhh...aaaah...aaa—aaa—” Another harsh exhale. His mouth moved silently for a few seconds. “Zzzhh...zzhaah—aa—” And yet another harsh breath.

“That certainly sounded like an attempt, it had the ‘aah’ sound in the middle.” Emerson nodded. “Alright, then. Can you raise your hand, Jack? Either one of them.”

“Hhhh...” Jack’s right hand trembled for a bit, then slowly lifted up a few inches before falling back down.

“This is good, this is very very good.” Emerson backed up. “Nurse, has there been any change?”

“No sir, everything’s stable.”

“Hey, uh, Dr. Emerson?” Chase looked up. “I—I might have to go now.” He wanted to stay, he really did, but he couldn’t just abandon Stacy and the kids.

“Don’t worry, Mr. Brody,” Emerson said reassuringly. “We have everything under control.”

“Nnnnih—!” Jack’s head turned. “Sshhaays. Shaaayyss.”

“I know, Jack, but it’s okay.” Chase reached over and squeezed Jack’s hand. “These guys know what they’re doing. And I’ll be back tomorrow. Do you understand?”

“Nnnnmm.” Jack blinked, and squeezed back.

“Okay.” Chase reluctantly let go, and stood up. “Take care of him, doc.”

“We will, Mr. Brody,” Emerson said. “Count on it. You go have fun on this holiday.”

“Yeah. Well, bye.” Slowly, Chase turned around and left the hospital room, leaving the business behind. His head felt a bit full with everything that happened, and as he walked to the elevator he tried to process it all.

Good news, Jack was definitely awake again, and somewhat coherent. What would happen next was unsure, but even getting to this point after over a year was a weight off everyone’s shoulders. But those comments he made still lingered in Chase’s mind. Was he really interpreting them correctly? Did Jack really have some memory of...fakes?

Maybe he shouldn’t really take any of that at face value. He’d read somewhere that people in comas often took nearby stimuli, like sound and voices, and turned that into dreams. Well, he’d also read that some remembered nothing and others remembered everything. It must depend on the specifics of what happened to them. But, on the off chance that Jack had been in that last kind of coma, and he remembered everything that happened...if that was the case, then Chase knew one person who might be able to explain the “fakes.” After all, he knew that Anti has visited the hospital at least once, pretending to be Chase himself.

He pressed the button to call the elevator, and the doors opened almost immediately. Stepping inside, he took out his phone and unlocked the screen, staring at his messages. Should he tell the others about that? Well, of course, but should he tell them now? After all, Marvin was probably still in court, and JJ didn’t even know Jack. After a moment, he decided to send a quick text to Marvin, telling him that he had big news and that he’ll call him later. And so, typing out the message and then putting his phone back into his pocket, he pressed the down button, and the elevator started to descend.

——————

The sky was twilight through the window. JJ stared out at the street below, then closed the curtains and sat down on the sofa, letting out a long sigh. Evening on his twenty-seventh birthday. It hadn’t been a very eventful day, if he was being honest, but he actually quite liked that. Some peace and quiet after things being rather stressful lately. The celebration could come later. Though, if he remembered correctly, ‘later’ might actually be quickly approaching. After all, if the televised hearing was any indication, his friends’ all-day business would probably be wrapping up soon.

As if on cue, the intercom system let out the ding! sound that meant someone was in the lobby, asking to be buzzed into the apartment building. Standing up, he walked over and pressed the button, making a whistling sound.

“JJ? It’s me! Buzz me in.” Only Marvin could say ‘it’s me’ and immediately expect everyone else to be on the same page. JJ pressed the button to let him into the apartments.

The knocking on the door came a few moments later. JJ hurried over to open it, revealing Marvin standing on the threshold and bouncing anxiously. “Hey!” Marvin smiled. “I brought cupcakes. Just store-bought, but you know.” He held up a plastic container of six cupcakes, chocolate with blue frosting. In addition to those, he also had a bag slung over his shoulder.

JJ smiled. Hey, anything is good, especially when it’s chocolate. He stood aside, letting Marvin walk into the apartment. I was watching the hearing on TV. Congratulations.

“Still can’t believe they filmed it,” Marvin said, setting the cupcakes down on the counter. “But yeah, right? I mean, finally. They just dragged this whole thing on and on, and it’s like ‘was my evidence not enough for you’?”

Well, you did sneak into the building and steal some of it, JJ pointed out.

“And?” Marvin chuckled. “Anyway, more important things to talk about. Happy birthday, JJ! You’re finally catching up to the rest of us! How’s it feel to finally be 27?”

Exactly the same, in all honesty. JJ opened the cupcake container and pulled one out. He paused, then set it down on the counter so he could sign. Though twenty-six was a good year in my life, if I must say. After all, it’s when I meant you.

“I—” Marvin stammered. “Well—that’s just—”

JJ smiled. I see I’ve flustered you.

Well you can’t just say something like that without warning, Marvin signed. That’s too sweet, I wasn’t prepared.

It’s fine, take a moment. JJ picked up the cupcake again, carefully peeling away the paper. He ate slowly, careful to not get any frosting on his mustache.

“So, uh...what were you thinking for tonight?” Marvin looked around the apartment. “You didn’t really have any decorations, I see. Not even any balloons?”

Oh, I’m not a balloon person, I don’t like it when they pop. JJ walked over to the trash can and dropped the paper inside.

Marvin raised an eyebrow. “You ate that fast.”

Shush, it was a really good cupcake. JJ shrugged. Anyway, as for what I had planned...not much. I just wanted to hang out. I was thinking we could play Minecraft or something, I’ve been doing a lot of that recently. Did you bring your laptop?

“Oh. No, I didn’t. Should I have?” As if to double-check, Marvin looked inside his back. “Shit, I forgot to stop by my house and pick up your present, I just rushed straight over here.”

It’s fine, it was just an idea. And you didn’t need to bring a present today, either, JJ assured him. Then he paused. Is that a new bag?

“No, it’s an old one, I couldn’t find my normal one this morning,” Marvin explained. “Uh...yeah I got nothing in here. Sorry.”

Well, at least you brought cupcakes. JJ tapped the plastic container. Did you want one, too?

Marvin hesitated. “No, it’s fine. I mean, not right now. Later. We have all night, right?”

That’s true. But are you sure? You must be hungry, after being at that trial all day.

“I had snacks, it’s fine.” Marvin shrugged it off. “Well, anyway, back to the topic at hand, is there anything you really want to do? You’re the birthday boy.”

JJ pursed his lips, thinking. Well, I think I have some multiplayer games kicking around somewhere. Let me check.

It took them a while to find something. Marvin didn’t give that many suggestions, insisting that JJ choose since it was his birthday. Which, while Jameson really appreciated the gesture, seemed a bit...odd. Marvin always had something to say about group activities. But maybe after such a long day, he didn’t really have the energy to think much about it.

Eventually, JJ settled on rigging his computer up to a pair of controllers, and projecting the image on screen to the television. That took about fifteen minutes to do alone, but from there, he just had to select Stick Fight from Steam and it was ready to go.

“Hmm, is it really fair to play a fighting game against someone who can’t return any trash-talking comments?” Marvin wondered.

Well, that’s never stopped you or Chase before, JJ joked. Though do you think we should wait for him? I know he likes this game, and I’m sure he’ll be done with his kids soon. How long does trick-or-treating take?

“I don’t know. A couple hours?” Marvin bit his lip, considering. “Why are you asking me? You’ve been trick-or-treating, right?”

I think I went once as a kid, JJ recalled. And...once later, but it doesn’t really count when you’re a teenager, does it?

“Well, I think it counts,” Marvin said softly.

JJ shrugged, and looked away. One year, he went out on Halloween with Anti; the year he was sixteen. That first year was pretty fun at the time, but it was different looking back on it. Thinking about it just made him feel...well, it was a big mix of emotions in there, positive and negative. As were a lot of emotions attached to doing fun things with Anti. He’d been working on figuring them out and accepting him in his therapy sessions, but this wasn’t the time to get into thinking about that. It was his birthday. He was going to have fun. Didn’t you go trick-or-treating? Why don’t you know how long it takes?

“Well, uh...no,” Marvin admitted. “Once. But like you, I was already pretty old. Eighteen, that’s even an adult. I guess the time you’re allowed to stay out late will vary between kids and teenagers, so we’re not really good judges for when Chase will be done.”

It can’t be that long. The kids are only four, after all, no matter how energetic they are.

“Well, in that case, I think Chase will forgive us for starting a little early.” Marvin smiled. “C’mon, I’m excited.”

They played a few rounds—which went really fast in this particular game, so honestly, they played through practically all the levels—but as time went on, Jameson found it difficult to concentrate. His thoughts started to drift...and become a little foggy. He blinked slowly, and yawned. Why was he so sleepy all of a sudden?

“That’s the tenth time you’ve lost in a row,” Marvin pointed out, as his yellow stick figure destroyed Jameson’s blue one. “Are you feeling okay?”

JJ put down the controller and signed, I’m just a little tired, it’s okay.

“Ah. Did you have a long day?”

No, not really. I didn’t have work, so I just stayed in all day. I suppose I could’ve gone out for lunch or something, but...he hesitated.

“But?” Marvin prompted.

Well, there was something that happened last week, Jameson signed slowly. Someone followed me home.

“Really? Are you sure?”

JJ nodded slowly, stifling another yawn. Positive. I didn’t recognize him, but it scared me, so I’ve been inside since then.

“That’s probably not a good thing,” Marvin muttered. “Do you want to go out tonight for dinner or something? If there’s two of us, then nothing will happen.”

Jameson shook his head. No, it’s fine. I’m too tired to go out anyway. Strange, though. I...not...don’t know why. His signs slowly fell apart as his train of thought got lost in the brain fog.

“Maybe you should take a nap, then,” Marvin suggested.

No. No, maybe it’s just dark or something, that can make you sleepy. JJ knew on some level that logic didn’t fully make sense, but he didn’t care. He stood up, swayed for a bit, then walked over to the nearest lamp. But just before switching it on, a strange, powerful wave of drowsiness overcame him, and he stumbled, and ended up holding onto the lamp for support.

“Are you alright? Don’t fall.” Marvin stood up as well and hurried over to join him.

Fine, Jameson signed loosely. He managed to flip on the light switch before losing his balance again. His muscles felt so weak all of a sudden, barely able to hold him up. What was...what was going on? This wasn’t...normal.

The lamp started swaying. “Be careful there.” Marvin grabbed JJ as he fell again, but the lamp toppled with him. Its lampshade tilted, directing the light from the bulb directly at Marvin’s face. “Aak! God damn it, just—hang on a moment, that went right in my eyes.”

Jameson frowned. Was...was it just him, or was something...wrong, there? In Marvin’s eyes. He felt a bit bad about looking directly into them, knowing how Marvin felt about eye contact, but...something was off. What was it? What...was it?

Marvin pushed the lamp away, only for it to tilt back. “Fuck this lamp,” he said under his breath, squinting against the light that was once again too close to his face. The...light? The light, the light...

There. There was the problem. It wasn’t anything wrong with Marvin’s eyes themselves, it was the way they were reacting to the light. One was reflecting an image of the lightbulb that was a little too perfect, a little too much like a mirror. The right eye, in fact. Also, the way Marvin’s head was turned, the lamp was shining right into his right eye, but he didn’t really squint until he turned slightly and caused the light to be more visible in his left eye. Almost like...he couldn’t see out of the right one.

Jameson let out a fearful squeak, and wriggled away from ‘Marvin’s’ grip. He fell directly onto the floor, not reacting fast enough to catch himself, but immediately tried to get up again. Yet his head was too clouded, movements...slowing...

“Hey, what’s wrong?” ‘Marvin’ reached down to help Jameson up, only to have his hand swatted away. “What’s—” He stopped. Jameson’s eyes were scanning the right side of his face, as well as his neck. And slowly, he grinned. “Oh, you figured it out, huh? Well, you were always pretty smart, Jamie.”

And with that, Jameson’s fears were confirmed. Nobody else called him that. He backed up until he hit the back of one of the chairs, then tried to grab onto that and use it to pull himself to his feet. There wasn’t much success, but...but he had to...to...what was wrong with him? Why...was he so...so...tired?

Anti didn’t look too concerned with Jameson’s reaction. He didn’t even chase after him. Instead he reached up to his face, and—“It’s pretty good, right?” The fake right eye came out cleanly, and Anti held it up. The glass eye wasn’t a sphere, but more of an irregular dome-like shape. Anti slipped it into his pocket. “His eye color is actually a bit different from mine, you know? A bit lighter. I debated if I should just use the one that matched my natural color, but I thought it would be better if I just went all the way and got the actual shade, then used a contact for the one...left.” He laughed at his own joke.

Jameson gave up on trying to stand up, and instead started fumbling with his pocket. If he could...could get his phone out, he could...text someone...get help...

“What’re you doing?” Anti quickly walked over, kneeling next to Jameson. He easily got through Jameson’s small attempts to push him away, and pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Oh. No, you can’t have that.” Anti tossed the phone across the room, hitting the wall by the door. “Sorry.”

JJ looked after it with a sinking heart. He couldn’t possibly...move to the door...or somewhere. He could barely move. Maybe he could...call for help? But as always, his voice didn’t cooperate with what his...what his mind wanted.

“Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,” Anti said, oddly reassuringly. “The effects will wear off after a while, you’re not dying or anything. Just going to sleep for a bit. Sorry about that, too, but I thought you wouldn’t come with me if you knew who I was. And this shows I was right.” He gestured vaguely at Jameson’s continued attempts to get away from him. “I know your recent impression of me hasn’t been...favorable.”

Jameson could barely keep his eyes open, but he kept trying to inch away from Anti. This...couldn’t be...happening...

“Do you know what this feels like?” Anti whispered. “I thought you were dead, Jamie. For years. And once I find you, you’re just...here? In your own little world? Forgotten me?” He reached under his shirt and grabbed something tightly. And he smiled wide. “Well, no more. Now we’re together again. I know you’re a bit freaked out now, but trust me. It’ll be fine. Just like it used to be.”

The last thing Jameson did was shake his head, before finally closing his eyes and slumping over. Just like it used to be. Nothing scared him more.

#jacksepticeye fanfiction #jacksepticeye #jacksepticegos #septic egos #jacksepticeye au #septic egos au #marvin the magnificent #chase brody #jameson jackson #antisepticeye #brigid writes fanfiction #pwtimeline

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writeyourownlifestory · 4 years

Text

Sucker Punched

Chapters: 1/9 Fandom: IT Rating: M Warnings: Mention of past child // psychological abuse, Fight Club!au Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Beverly Marsh/Ben Hanscom Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, learning to love yourself

By the time Eddie was 13, he was allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, and several cooking oils. By 15, he had never swum in gym class and never went to a friend’s birthday party or had one of his own. By 16, Eddie knew that he liked looking at boys rather than looking at girls, though that didn’t seem to matter at the time. By 18, he had graduated high school and that was the end of his social life. And by 21, Eddie’s life had been torn to pieces.

He was a victim of Munchausen syndrome by proxy and now left without a mother, without a home, and without a clue. On top of being told he should go to group therapy, his caseworker had also suggested doing something to blow off some steam. Join a book club or go to the gym. Or maybe join a need-to-know based fight club. Either or.

Tag list: @richietoaster, @beproudtozier, @that-weird-girls-blog, @s-onora

Dee Dee Blanchard was dead. She had been stabbed repeatedly by her daughter's boyfriend while she slept in her bed. Her daughter, Gypsy Rose, who was wheelchair-bound with many ailments, was believed to have been kidnapped by the killer. Later, it was found out that not only Gypse Rose been the mastermind in her mother's murder, but wasn’t sick after all.

She was a victim of Munchausen syndrome by proxy. In layman’s terms, it means the person taking care of you pretends that you’re sick to continue taking care of you. For some, like Gypsy Rose, it’s being told that you suffer from leukemia and other forms of the body affecting illnesses.

For Eddie, it was being told that the world wanted him dead.

For as long as he could remember he had been sick. His earliest memories had been visiting the hospital where his father would eventually die from lung cancer, only to wind up there himself with a case of acute bronchitis. He survived it, thanks to the help of modern medicine.

That was the last time Eddie remembered being sick.

The issue was, that wasn’t the last time he had been told he was sick. From the moment he came back from the hospital, everything just seemed to get worse. His allergies had picked up, and it seemed like almost every other weekend he was feeling off.

His mother had tried her best to help him. They made weekly trips to the doctors and had become regulars with the pharmacy. Eddie didn’t go out much, because the pollen in the air made him have a horrible reaction and on the rare chance he did go out and he scraped his knee or elbow, the bleeding never seemed to stop.

Soon enough, he just stopped going out altogether. He went to school and back, though that rarely lasted as he was homesick half the time. He would have tutors come to the house to keep his grades up, but he missed being around the other kids, missed having someone other than his mom to talk to.

Sonia had suggested homeschooling, but the doctor refused. Even with his sickness, he needed to be around other children, other people. His mother agreed, but only if he followed her rules. He couldn’t join any clubs or sports, because if something had happened if he had gotten sick or worse, they wouldn’t know what to do.

He carried his inhaler and assortment of pills around in a fanny pack because it was easier than shoving them into his backpack. He needed them on hand 24/7 after all.

By the time Eddie was 13, he was allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, and several cooking oils. He couldn’t eat any blue dyes or anything with artificial sugars. He was on a gluten-free diet and used only antibacterial soaps and lotions. Perfumes gave him rashes and direct sunlight had an almost narcoleptic effect on him. He had asthma and panic attacks.

By the age of 15, he had never eaten a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He had never swum in gym class and never went to a friend’s birthday party or had one of his own. He never had any friends to call his own. The closest thing he had to one had been Greta Keene, as her father owned the pharmacy that he and his mother frequented.

Over time, Eddie realized that Greta was nothing but a heartless bitch who picked on others because she couldn’t deal with the fact that her father was a perv who checked out her friends when he thought she wasn’t looking. But during childhood, they had sat together as they waited for the prescriptions to be filled. Sometimes she would be looking through a magazine and she’d be nice enough to let Eddie look through it with her.

He couldn’t touch it thanks to the ever-so-worrisome possibility of a paper cut, but he would look over her shoulder and gaze at the pictures of the different celebrities and whatever products the magazine was trying to sell.

By the age of 16, Eddie knew that he liked looking at boys rather than looking at girls, though that didn’t seem to matter at the time. For a very long time, he thought he didn’t like either. He would watch people kiss on the television during a movie with his mom and he’d get uncomfortable with the idea of having someone touch him so closely and swapping spit so carelessly.

It wasn’t long before his teenage mind began to drift off. The screen time he was given was very limited, but he found his mother was something of a thick sleeper and using incognito mode was a good combination for being able to see the world for what it was outside of the bubble his mother had made for him.

He didn’t have any social media accounts, but he was able to see everybody else’s. People from school, random strangers who had interesting lives. He scrolled and scrolled, trying his best to imagine what it would be like to be an everyday kid out in the world.

Would he have been good at skateboarding? Would he have been a gamer? Would he have been invited to sweet-16’s and would he have eventually fallen in love with a girl from school? Would he have gotten excited by making out with her after the school dance? Would he have held her hand in the hallway as they walked to class?

Eddie didn’t think the girl part would ever come about, though he did find it rather fascinating how beautiful some boys would be. He never thought of himself much. He knew, in retrospect, he had nice cheekbones and a fit frame. He had boyish looks that remained graceful even as he went through puberty. His mother kept his hair at a nice length and he styled it well enough.

His clothing was something to be desired. Shorts that remained rough his tights and polo shirts with the collar always pressed. He wasn’t a boy scout, but he had the look of one. He tried not to think about wanting to change it up. Wearing clothing that clung to him or styling his hair differently.

He would see some boys online that just looked completely in their element and he would find himself angry that he couldn’t do the same and had very little chance to do anything about it. He would see boys kissing other boys and think about how his mother had brought home a pamphlet from the church about how same-sex relationships and ‘equality’ were wrong for the world. He didn’t understand why.

Kissing was meant to bring joy to people. Love was meant to bring happiness. How could any of that be so wrong? Sometimes he would want to argue with her, but he never allowed himself to do such a thing, not after his mother had put so much time and effort into taking care of him.

He swallowed that anger down, letting it a bubble and fester inside of him as he carried out his day to day life.

By the age of 18, he had graduated high school and that was the end of his social life. He would go out to the doctor or pharmacy, but that was that. No going out to get take out or to see a movie. His bedroom had become his sanctuary. His home had become his prison.

By the age of 21, Eddie’s life had been torn to pieces.

Good old Dr. Keene had finally snapped after years of pent up frustration. Nobody knew what caused it. Perhaps it was from the endless repetition of filling the same prescriptions for the same people every single day. Or maybe it was the guilt of being attracted to young girls that pushed him over the edge.

One second he was working on a puzzle, trying to collect all the edges and then in the next, he was watching his mother be escorted in a police car.

It seemed that Keene finally had enough with Mrs. Kapsbrak’s bullshit and let the authorities know that she and her doctor had been lying about Eddie’s illnesses.

He wasn’t allergic to any nuts, or dyes, or perfumes. His inhaler was filled with water and the pills were just placebos.

They had lied about everything.

Sonia tried to defend her actions, saying that Eddie was, in fact, sick and she just took extra precautions to keep him alive. The doctor, on the other hand, admitted that he was dirt and had been accepting payment for assigning Sonia in her beliefs. He wrote up the scripts for the sugar pills, writing off blase excuses for why Eddie felt the way he did.

The doctor was arrested for malpractice and Sonia had been taken into custody for abuse and after a bit of time, they found her guilty of being a proxy to Munchausen syndrome. She was sent to jail for ten years with the possibility of release in three years given good behavior. A restraining order had been placed to keep her away from her son. And Eddie was forced to leave the only home he had ever known and been placed into the foster system.

Though he was over the legal age and classified as an adult, the lawyer the state had given him fought that, due to his mother’s influence, he shouldn’t have been thrown out onto the street. They wanted to fight that he wasn’t fully developed, at least not mentally, and needed proper assistance.

It seemed like almost overnight Eddie’s life had changed. He packed up the few belongings that he wanted to bring with him and went off to a few towns over to where his new home waited.

It was there that he had learned about what Gypse Rose and her boyfriend had done. And that bubbling pit of anger inside him began to simmer as he thought of whether or not he would have done the same.

When he found out the truth, he didn’t know what to feel. He threw up a couple of times and begged the police to give him his medication. When they refused, sending in a doctor to explain the situation, he began to go through withdrawals.

It took a good few days for Eddie to finally begin to feel normal. For the headaches to go away. For the aches in his chest to finally settle down.

His new home was decent enough. It was a decent-sized house, filled with just a woman and her son. They hadn’t been strangers, at least not completely. It seemed Mr. Hanscom was his father’s cousin and had been best friends with him all those years ago. He also turned out to be Eddie’s Godfather and legal guardian if anything were to happen to either of his parents. After his father passed away and he had gotten sick, Sonia refused to let anybody see Eddie and all contact with the family was cut off.

Mrs. Hanscom and her son Ben had been very open to why they decided to take him in. Mr. Hanscom cared deeply for his cousin and was heartbroken when he passed. They had tried to fight Sonia on letting them see Eddie, but Mr. Hanscom died before they could take it to court. Mrs. Hanscom had always attempted to make contact and repeatedly sent birthday cards and letters to him, but they were always sent back.

After he had died, Mrs. Hanscom went through some tough times and had to move in with her sister. It wasn’t ideal, especially for Ben who had been dealing with a few issues of his own like bullying, but they worked hard so they could afford a place of their own.

First was an apartment just big enough for themselves and eventually, a home that could have an extra person. At first, Mrs. Hanscom had suggested they would bring in someone who could pay rent, but they later decided to welcome in someone who needed a place to go just as they had years prior.

And then the news broke out about what Sonia had been doing to him and they jumped at the chance to help him. They didn’t want Eddie to look at it as a handout or a fostering situation. He was free to stay for as long as he liked, glad to have a little piece of his father back in their lives.

Eddie did everything he could to be anything but a challenge for them. The situation was strange on all of them and the last thing Eddie wanted was to be a bother. He tried to work around his allergies, only to be reminded that they didn’t exist.

He could eat gluten. He could have peanuts. He could eat things cooked in certain oil and have those sugary cereals.

Not that the Hanscom house was filled with any of that stuff. Ben had admitted to him that he spent a lot of his time eating his feelings when he was a kid, earning him some interesting nicknames along the way due to constantly being bullied for his weight.

He slimmed down in high school, having joined the track team in hopes of gaining some popularity and shaking off the weight. It worked and he was now out of school, feeling healthy and looking good.

He was attending the University of Maine for architecture, deciding to stay home with his mom since the school was less than twenty minutes from their town.

Eddie, upon finishing high school, decided not to go to college.

Well, his mother had chosen that. Now she was gone and he didn’t have any money to go and his grades weren’t good enough to warrant a scholarship. So he was forced to carry on like the rest of the losers in his school and remain in Maine forever.

Ben had been nice and got him a job at the grocery store in town with him. He had never gotten a job before and he was hesitant at first. He didn’t want to be a disappointment, but Mrs. Hanscom insisted that there was no way Eddie could be a failure at stocking shelves and bagging eggs for little old ladies.

Another thing they had done for him was to help set up a support group. The caseworker had it very clear that Eddie would have some mental issues after what he had gone through. They suggested having him go to a therapist, but Ben thought it would be more helpful for him to be around other people dealing with similar situations.

It just so happened that Ben had a friend who went to a group and they were able to squeeze him into it.

That’s how he met Beverly Marsh.

She was a friendly girl who had been through hell and back and welcomed Eddie in with open arms. He hadn’t been too keen on going, simply because he didn’t want to bother anybody with his problems.

It was just as they played it out on TV. They all sat around in a circle, introducing themselves to him and talking about their issues. The man running it offered one-on-one care if needed, though Eddie promised he would try out the sitting circle before branching out for personal help.

“It’s okay to be shy,” Beverly had mentioned as they walked out of the meeting. Eddie hadn’t spoken much, only when someone asked him a question, but even then he didn’t give more than a few answers. “Nobody likes to brag about the shit they’ve been through and if they do, then they’re worse off than the rest of us.”

“I just don’t think it’s worth anybody's time.” Eddie had mentioned, shoving his hands into his pockets as they walked down the street. “My mom was crazy. I don’t know what else to say about it.”

It was clear she had her issues to deal with. Eddie didn’t want to ask her why she did what she did because he already knew. She loved him and wanted to protect him, even if it meant doing unspeakable things.

Eddie knew people had it worse off. People like Bill, who dealt with a stutter because his mom knocked him down the stairs and had become neglectful since his little brother’s death, something that Bill himself still blamed himself for. Or Henry Bowers, who suffered mental abuse from the hands of his policeman father had turned himself into an abuser himself before finally being forced to seek help.

Or Beverly, who had been open to Eddie about why she was at the place, to begin with. During their first meeting, she said she had been abused by her father but didn’t go into detail. It wasn’t until they were alone when she confided in Eddie just how it had been.

The way he would treat her and touch her. The shit Keene used to do, leering at girls and making sly comments, couldn’t hold a candle to the horrific things Beverly had gone through at the hands of her father.

It was shit like that that made Eddie feel like he didn’t belong in the group, to begin with. All those people needed help because of the bad shit they had gone through. Eddie’s mother loved him, enough to want to protect him from the world. How could he complain about that? How could he compare himself to the likes of Beverly and Bowers?

Eddie felt more like a burden than he had before, but he swallowed down that pain and focused on the only thing he could control his job.

Mrs. Hanscom had been right when she said he wouldn’t fail. He succeeded in filling the shelves and bagging those eggs for the little old ladies.

He did that for two weeks, going to work and coming home to help with dinner, doing the dishes and washing his clothes and keeping his room spotless. A new routine for the same old guy.

Eventually, Mrs. Hanscom began to see how this was creating a rut for Eddie and thought it would be best if he joined Ben at the local gym. Eddie couldn’t think of a worse place to be, filled with sweaty men all grunting as they worked on their bodies, none of which bothered to wipe down the equipment when they were finished with it. Eddie stood off to the side for most of it, just following Ben around like a puppy with his tail between his legs.

“You know you can work out, right?” Ben asked a few minutes of Eddie just idling there. “You’re my day guest. Why don’t you grab a few weights and give it a go?”

“I’ll pass. Knowing my luck, I’ll wind up dropping it and breaking my foot.”

Ben snickered, sitting up from the lying position he had been working in. Eddie was sure it had a name, but he wasn’t aware of it. He didn’t know any workout slang or equipment names. Ben stood then, gesturing to the machine. “Lay down.”

“What?”

“Lay down. You’re gonna work those arms.”

Eddie shook his head, but Ben ignored his protest and requested to clean the seat down before forcing him to lay back. “Alright. This is a barbell bench press. We’ll start slow, okay?”

“Ben, we don’t have to do this,” Eddie swore, hugging when the other male pressed the metal beam against his chest.

“It’s twenty pounds, Eddie. You can do twenty pounds, right?” Ben asked, going to stand by Eddie’s head and spot him. He kept his hands hovering under the beam, letting him ready to catch it in case Eddie couldn’t do it.

But he did. He lifted it carefully, not with much effort. Eddie wasn’t weak, not physically at least. He should have been based on the way he had been living and the food he had been fed, but he found that some of the things his mom had been pumping into him, aside from sugar pills, had been vitamin supplements. All the vegetables that his mother had fed him were filled with enough protein to keep him moving, to keep up his strength.

So yeah, he could lift the twenty pounds. And then the thirty that Ben added. They went to forty and it got to be a bit harder, but he could still handle it. It was only when they got to the fifty pounds did he start to shake a bit, start to worry and doubt himself.

“Hey hey Haystack!” A voice shouted from across the room. Eddie lifted his head to see who was speaking but was quickly pushed back into his place by Ben as the man approached. “You throwing down tonight?”

“Nah, not tonight Rich,” Ben replied. Seeing as he answered the stranger, Eddie guessed that Haystack must have been a nickname of sorts. He didn’t get it, figuring it was some sort of inside joke.

“Awe, come on. Big Bill is gonna be dropping by and you know you can’t resist stepping in with him.”

“I have a handful of shifts this weekend. I can’t risk pulling something or messing up my hand.”

“Bah! Like you’ve ever lost.”

“I’ll stop by though. Cheer you on from the sidelines.”

“Now that’s what I call friendship Vol 12!” The stranger tapped Eddie’s knee then, prompting his attention. He craned his head up so he could gaze at him, finding a lanky man with wild hair and glasses standing at the end of the bench.

He had on gym shorts, much like everybody else and a white tank top, which was covered with an obnoxiously colored button-down shirt that was opened in the front. He had a headband around his forehead and thick glasses which made his eyes seem just a tad larger than normal.

“Aye, keep it up, small fry. You got this!” He cheered on before walking off.

Eddie faltered for a moment, letting his head fall back and then lifting it again to make his statement. “I’m not fucking small!” He shouted, causing Ben to chuckle from above.

“Ignore him. He’s not worth your effort, trust me. Had enough or do you want me to up it?”

“I think I’ve had my fill of bodybuilding for the day.”

Ben laughed and pulled the beam off him like it was nothing, carefully placing it down in the corner.

They left the gym and returned home. Eddie helped Mrs. Hanscom make dinner and set the table and then once they finished eating he helped clean up. They sat together on the couch, watching some movie on the tv. It reminded him too much of how he and his mother would spend time together.

They wouldn’t go to the park or out for walks. They stayed inside and did puzzles and watched tv. She would put on the news and show all the horrifying things going on in the world and comment on how lucky Eddie was that he could stay inside. They would watch old cartoons that were perfectly fine for a little kid well up until she was taken awake.

Mrs. Hanscom gave Eddie the choice of what to watch though he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know the television shows that were popular at this time nor did he care for anything. It was just white noise for him. He would stare blankly not even bothering to soak in what was being played out for him.

They settled on some reality show that was trashy and boring. Mrs. Hanscom would comment here and there about how ridiculous it was and how utterly staged it had to be.

After a while, Ben got up from the couch and went to change his clothes. He told his mom he was going out and kissed her cheek before walking out the door.

Eddie sat alone with Mrs. Hanscom, watching the trash television of overly wealthy people and the petty problems they lived with every day. Eventually, she turned in, wishing him a good night as she went off to her room.

She didn’t tell him to turn the tv off or to make sure he was in bed by a certain time. He was given choices for the first time in, well ever. Eddie did make his home to bed, ready to start the day all over again.

To work, then home, to make dinner and do laundry. He had a routine, just like he had before everything went to shit.

He liked it, to an extent. Liked knowing what to expect and having a routine allowed him to mostly stay sane in all of this. If he knew what tomorrow brought, then he would have something to focus on and wouldn’t get lost in the in-between.

He didn’t question where Ben had gone that night or where he had gone a few nights later. Ben had his own life and didn’t have to invite Eddie everywhere he went. He brought him to the gym for a second time, pushing him once again onto a machine so he could work on his upper arm strength.

Nobody paid much attention to him there, all speaking to Ben and offering him polite glances and nods. This time he was on something called a ‘hammer strength machine’ pumping his arms in and out. Ben once again spotted him, making sure he didn’t push it or hurt himself.

Eddie would have wondered why Ben didn’t go to school to be a personal trainer if he hadn’t seen some of his sketches and models. The guy was born to create buildings. He just happened to also have a knack for bodybuilding as well.

It wasn’t until Beverly had come around to pick Ben up to go out did she see that he was being left behind. She was pissed, more so than Eddie had been about the whole thing and threw a bit of a fit over it.

“You can’t just leave him behind, Ben!” She argued.

Eddie was just sitting on his bed, reading one of the books that Ben had lent him. He didn’t even realize that Ben was going out on this particular night until the redhead rushed into the room and told him to get dressed.

“I wasn’t leaving him behind on purpose,” Ben swore gently. “It just didn’t seem like his type of thing.”

“You said the same thing about me.”

“I’m sorry, what are you talking about?” Eddie injected, trying to piece together what exactly was going on.

“We’re going out. Put your clothes on.” Beverly said.

There was something about the way Beverly presented herself that proved to Eddie she wasn’t a force to be reckoned with. He pulled his clothes back on and got into Ben’s car where he drove them out and away from the suburbs and into the grasslands. He didn’t get a chance to ask why they were out in the middle of nowhere when they were suddenly pulling up behind an old farmhouse.

Everything seemed so sketchy and murder and when he found there were more people there than expected, Eddie didn’t know what to think. They passed all the sheep and chickens surrounded by a pen, going further down until they came upon an area that was completely lit up by torches.

“What are we doing here?” He asked Beverly, following her off to the side.

In the middle of the crowd, there was a boxing ring. It was mostly makeshift, with the ropes around it looking tethered and overused. He wondered what a thing like this was doing randomly out in the middle of nowhere.

“Tonight, just watching,” Beverly answered to him.

“Watching what?”

“All right, all right! Everybody settle down!” A voice shouted out. A man appeared in the room then, followed by a second man. The first was dark-skinned and he recalled seeing around town before. His family’s farm supplied the meat for the grocery store. His name was Mike.

The other man was a stranger to him. Tall and thin, with short, neatly styled hair. Neither men looked like they were dressed to be inside the gym, with Mike wearing a plain tee shirt and jeans and the other wearing a button-up and khakis.

“Welcome everyone. We’re gonna have some good fights tonight.” Mike said, greeting the crowd once they relaxed a bit. “So far we have six signed up, which means three tights. Stan and I have put together who goes again who, so if you’re fighting or betting, listen up.”

The second man, Stan, held up a chalkboard for the crowd to see. “We have Denbrough vs Bowers. Cross vs Huggins. And Tozier vs Hotchsetter. Now, you all know the rules, so we’re gonna make this quick. No shirt, no shoes. No weapons of any kind.”

“The only weapon allowed in the ring is your body,” Stan mentioned, smirking down at the crowd.

“If you bleed, then you bleed. If you think something is broken, then you’re out. If someone says stop and if you do not stop, then that calls for what?”

“Total elimination,” Stan answered.

“If you wanna play dirty, you gotta pay the price. Now that we’ve reminded you how it goes: let’s begin, shall we? Anybody willing to take bets, speak with Stanley. Bowers! Denbrough! You have two minutes.”

“What is this?” Eddie asked, shifting aside as people moved through the crowd to get to Stan and make their bets.

“Have you ever seen the movie Fight Club?” She asked. “It’s sort of like that.”

“Bev, the only movies I was allowed to watch were G-rated films screened by my mother. Nothing with the word ‘fight’ would have passed her.”

“They’re gonna beat the shit out of one another.” Beverly simplified.

Before he could ask another question, both Henry Bowers and Bill Denbrough, two people that Eddie knew from the group meeting, slipped into the ring. Both were shirtless. Both were shoeless. Henry had his hair pulled back with a headband and Bill had some medical wrap wrapped around his knuckles.

Eddie moved closer, peering over someone’s shoulder to get a better look. Mike stood in the middle, reminding them both to be fair and to put on a good show before tapping them in. Bill and Henry circled one another before Bowers made the first strike. Bill blocked it easily, catching Bower’s off guard a half step later. It seemed like a simple boxing match except without the protective gear.

Eddie thought back to when he was eleven and had been flipping through the channels. He stumbled upon some MMA fight that was being televised. He was able to watch it for a good forty seconds before his mom flipped out and changed the channel. She rambled on about how dangerous fighting was and how sensitive Eddie’s skin was so if he were to ever be in a fight, he would be torn to pieces.

Eddie thought about what the differences would be, between MMA and boxing and whatever this thing happening here was.

In the tiny ring, they went at it, punching, and kicking, and biting, bruising skin and spitting out blood, they fought until finally, Mike seemed Denbrough the winner. The crowd cheered around them and despite having blood on his face, Bill still offered Bowers a hand to lift him. He guested it was out of good sportsmanship or something.

They left the ring, letting a few people slip inside to clean it up before the next two came up to fight.

Eddie recognized one of them as the fella from the gym the first time he went. He had his shaggy hair pulled back out of the way of his face and his glasses had been removed for obvious reasons. He was jumping up and down, practically bouncing with excitement as he stretched on the sidelines of the ring.

When Mike called his name, he hopped inside, pacing in place and punching the air theatrically.

Beverly stood beside him then, touching his shoulder to get his attention. “Hey, you okay?”

“How long do we have to stay here?” He asked curiously.

He guessed she took that as Eddie wanted to leave at that moment because in a flash they gathered up Ben making their way out of the crowd. The last thing Eddie heard was the animalistic shouts from one of the fighters in the ring before they were back in the car.

#Reddie #Reddie fanfic #Richie Tozier #Eddie Kaspbrak #Fight Club AU #Beneverly #Benverly #Stanley Uris

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gdwessel · 5 years

Text

Road to the New Beginning Night 3 - 1/29/2018: KUSHIDA’s NJPW Farewell; Updated Giant Baba Memorial Show Card

The tour continued today, with a match that sees the end of the NJPW career of Yujiro Kushida, best known as KUSHIDA around these parts. You can see it now on NJPWWorld.

Kushida's origins were actually based in MMA, as his first training was in the Takada Dojo run by the legendary Nobuhiko Takada, training under Takumi Adachi. He began training during junior high school, debuting in the MMA promotion ZST in 2003, where he would win their Genesis Lightweight Tournament in 2004, ending his MMA career with 6 wins, 2 draws, 0 losses, while also attending Senshu University and working part-time for Tokyo Sports. It is generally assumed that Kushida's pro wrestling debut was in Takada's HUSTLE promotion in 2006, however he first debuted in Mexico in 2005 after learning lucha libre under El Oriental.

During his time in HUSTLE, Kushida would also work matches in All Japan Pro Wrestling and Osaka Pro. He left HUSTLE in 2009 after what amounted to a "loser leaves town" match, which lead to Kushida going abroad, wrestling all over North America, in Canada, Mexico and the USA, notably Chikara and OVW. In 2010, he would join Yoshihiro Tajiri's SMASH promotion, which is what got him into NJPW, with an appearance in 2010's edition of Best of the Super Juniors.

Kushida's NJPW career proper began on 4/1/2011, and the rest, as they say, is history. During his NJPW career, KUSHIDA became one of the best and most popular junior heavyweight wrestlers in the entire world, first as one-half of the Time Splitters tag team, with the now-retired Alex Shelley, winning the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team titles twice, as well as 2012's Super Jr. Tag Tournament. As a singles wrestler, KUSHIDA is a 6-time IWGP Junior Heavyweight champion and 2-time winner of Best of the Super Juniors, along the way having massively popular feuds with Kenny Omega, Will Ospreay and Hiromu Takahashi. Outside of NJPW, KUSHIDA was also the winner of the (ill-fated) 2016 Super J-Cup, the 2017 WhatCulture Pro Wrestling World Cup, and was even an ROH World Television Champion for a little while. He even managed to win the 2016 Cuadrangular de Parejas tag tournament in CMLL, along with partner Marco Corleone, and was #20 in Pro Wrestling Illustrated's yearly PWI 500 list in 2017.

I don't think it's hyperbole to say that KUSHIDA's departure is a loss for NJPW, and in very many ways, a lost opportunity. I think he should have had a shot at competing in the heavyweights, as had been rumored for the last few years, and it's bittersweet that in his final match for the company, he finally gets a singles match with Hiroshi Tanahashi. He's been one of the best, most consistent workers in NJPW in his time with the company, and he will be missed around here. Best of luck to him, whereever he may end up.

Results:

- 1/29/2019, Tokyo Korakuen Hall (NJPWWorld)

Ren Narita d. Yuya Uemura (Belly-to-Belly Suplex Hold, 6:24)

Hiroyoshi Tenzan & Manabu Nakanishi d. Ayato Yoshida [K-DOJO] & Shota Umino (Tenzan > Yoshida, Anaconda Vice, 7:30)

Yujiro Takahashi & Taiji Ishimori [Bullet Club] d. Toa Henare & Ryusuke Taguchi (Yujiro > Henare, Pimp Juice, 8:50)

Togi Makabe, Toru Yano [CHAOS] & Tomoaki Honma d. Tama Tonga, Tanga Loa & Chase Owens [Bullet Club] (Makabe > Owens, King Kong Knee Drop, 10:23)

Jay White & Bad Luck Fale [Bullet Club] d. Kazuchika Okada & YOSHI-HASHI [CHAOS] (Fale > YOSHI-HASHI, Grenade, 11:52)

Tetsuya Naito, EVIL, SANADA, BUSHI & Shingo Takagi [Los Ingobernables] d. Minoru Suzuki, Zack Sabre Jr., Taichi, Yoshinobu Kanemaru & El Desperado [SZKG] (EVIL > Kanemaru, EVIL STO, 16:41)

KUSHIDA Farewell Match: Hiroshi Tanahashi d. KUSHIDA (Texas Cloverleaf, 24:34)

It really shouldn’t come as a surprise that KUSHIDA lost his farewell match, but even so... KUSHIDA gave a speech at the end, thanking everyone for the last 8 years, but said he was leaving now. Jay White did attack Tanahashi post-main, much as Fale hit Okada (and Uemura!) with Grenade, and Naito did to Taichi with Destino. Ren Narita v. Yuya Uemura is getting rave reviews in some corners, and I am inclined to agree.

More matches have been announced for the Giant Baba Memorial show at Tokyo Ryogoku Kokugikan on 2/19/2019. Thus far, no further matches with (current) NJPW talents have been announced, however it is confirmed that both Hiroshi Tanahashi and Tomoaki Honma (the latter of whom has also worked in AJPW and BJW) will be there, as well as current Triple Crown champion Kento Miyahara. Of all people, Atsushi Onita will ALSO be on this show, in an 8-man street fight. Just have a look at the card below. It’s going to be a mixed bag but should be a fun one.

Giant Baba Memorial Battle Royale: Mitsuo Momota, Kim Duk, MEN’s Teioh, TARU, Ryuji Hijikata, Yuto Aijima, Joe Deaton, Masao Orihara, More TBA (Referee: Mighty Inoue)

Eight Man Street Fight Bunkhouse Tornado Tag Team Deathmatch: Atsushi Onita [FREE], Kendo Kashin [FREE], Hideki Suzuki [BJW] & Hideki Hosaka v. Shuji Ishikawa [AJPW], Great Kojika [BJW], Mitsuya Nagai & Hikaru Sato

Masanobi Fuchi [AJPW], Yuma Aoyagi [AJPW] & Yoshiaki Fujiwara [FREE] v. Taichi, TAKA Michinoku & Yoshinobu Kanemaru [SZKG]

Jake Lee & Koji Iwamoto [AJPW] v. SANADA & BUSHI [Los Ingobernables] v. Ayato Yoshida [K-DOJO] & Shota Umino [NJPW]

Jun Akiyama [AJPW], Takao Omori [AJPW] & Taiyo Kea [FREE] v. Satoshi Kojima [NJPW], Yuji Nagata [NJPW] & Osamu Nishimura [FREE]

Naomichi Marufuji [NOAH] v. Masaaki Mochizuki [Dragon Gate]

NOSAWA Rongai [FREE] & Kaz Hayashi [W-1] v. Mil Mascaras & Dos Caras

Abdullah the Butcher Retirement Ceremony

Also appearing: Hiroshi Tanahashi [NJPW], Tomoaki Honma [NJPW], Kento Miyahara [AJPW], Daisuke Sekimoto [BJW], Kazushi Miyamoto, Stan Hansen, Tomohiko Hashimoto

Tomorrow is a busy day for NJPW. We have another tour show, which it turns out WILL be live on NJPWWorld. This features a NEVER Openweight 6-Man Comedy Tag Team title match, as well as Shingo Takagi’s 2nd ever NJPW singles match. Then there is also the first day of the controversial New Beginning USA tour, which that will be later in the evening, so i probably won’t blog about that until Thursday since I’m on Eastern time. Enjoy the show if you’re going to that.

- 1/30/2019, Miyagi Sendai Sunplaza Hall (NJPWworld)

Toa Henare & Yota Tsuji v. Ayato Yoshida [K-DOJO] & Shota Umino

Hiroyoshi Tenzan & Ren Narita v. Manabu Nakanishi & Tiger Mask IV

Shingo Takagi [Los Ingobernables] v. Yoshinobu Kanemaru [SZKG]

BUSHI [Los Ingobernables] v. El Desperado [SZKG]

Hiroshi Tanahashi, Kazuchika Okada [CHAOS], Tomoaki Honma & YOSHI-HASHI [CHAOS] v. Jay White, Bad Luck Fale, Yujiro Takahashi & Chase Owens

Tetsuya Naito, EVIL & SANADA [Los Ingobernables] v. Minoru Suzuki, Zack Sabre Jr. & Taichi [SZKG]

NEVER Openweight 6-Man Tag Team Championship: Tama Tonga, Tanga Loa & Taiji Ishimori [Bullet Club] © v. Togi Makabe, Toru Yano [CHAOS] & Ryusuke Taguchi

The New Beginning USA - 1/30/2019, Globe Theater, Los Angeles, CA

Alex Coughlin v. Clark Connors

Jonathan Gresham v. Tyler Bateman

Colt Cabana v. Shane Taylor

Marty Scurll & Brody King [Villain Enterprises] v. Lance Archer & Davey Boy Smith Jr. [SZKG]

Jeff Cobb [FREE] v. Karl Fredericks

David Finlay Jr. [Lifeblood] v. Chuck Taylor [CHAOS]

One Night Only Roppongi Vice: Juice Robinson & Tracy Willams [Lifeblood] v. Trent Beretta & Rocky Romero [CHAOS]

#NJPW #new japan pro wrestling #Kushida #yujiro kushida #Road to New Beginning #njnbg #Giant Baba #Hiroshi Tanahashi #tomoaki honma #kento miyahara #atsushi onita

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jacquelineshyde · 7 years

Note

Yes! Your tag is perfect

That’sactually difficult for me because I haven’t truly read much fics, since I havetrust issues. But I can recommend you fics in which Jackie is wellcharacterized. Like,

Out of the Flames by MistyMountainHop

Summary: A life-consuming fire connects Jackie and Eric in unforeseen ways, but it also creates a blazing wall between them. Eight years later, Jackie braves the flames and ends up on Eric’s doorstep, but will her arrival heal their burns or incinerate them both to ashes?

Comment: I see you are EJ shipper, so I put this one in the first place. You may like it more than the others I mention here. Jackie has grown up a lot in this story. She has something that has hurt her to no end, but she has also found the way to be happy again. Is a great Jackie moves on story.

20 Questions by ShanghaiLily

Summary: Just after New Year’s day in 1980, Jackie Burkhart decides to disappear fromthe basement to save her sanity. When Xmas rolls around and the Formans begJackie to attend their party, she ends up involved in an elaborate game of 20Questions with Hyde that could change both of their lives. T-rated w/ some Mchapters. Story is COMPLETE! This one’s for the Zennies who hate Season 8!

Comment:This fic is something. It was one of the first t70s fics I read and also thefirst one I actually loved. It isn’t perfect, but Jackie’s roll in it isbrilliant and important. She doesn’t let anyone, especially Hyde, step on heranymore. It’s amazing to see a Jackie like the one ShanghaiLily writes mosttimes.

Shade by MistyMountainHop

Summary: Hyde finds himself homeless on a night where Jackie is without parents. Thegift he gave her last Christmas draws him to her, but his attachment lingerspast that rainy first night, grows through countless experiences, and leads himacross state lines. Their relationship is a high-stakes gamble, but Jackie mayfold before Hyde can show all his cards.

Comment:Author MistyMountainHop has a gorgeous writing and understanding of thecharacters, so her Jackie is always one that works perfectly for her stories.In this one in particular, we got a very strong Jackie who gets what she wantsand grows from her mistakes. This is also one of the cutest fanfics ever, sobelieve me when I say… read it.

53Minutes, 12 Seconds by MistyMountainHop

Summary: Jackiedefies a thunderstorm and her past to experience a major first with Hyde.

Comment:One of the best first time fanfics I’ve read for the fandom, and also a good view of howJackie feels about physical affection and love making. The author gives Jackiea strong narrative voice and the insight of her character is pretty good.

The Morning After by ShanghaiLily

Summary: A multi-chaptersequel/companion piece to the one-shot, Resolutions, which you may want to readfirst.Jackie goes to Las Vegas for Fez’s wedding, drinks a little too much, andthen wakes up in married to the last person she ever thought would commit toher. This is what happens the morning after.

Comment:Again, we met a very strong Jackie who is no longer naive nor blind by love.Her feelings are as strong as ever, but she doesn’t let them control her andshe wants her life back, she doesn’t want the fairy tale anymore because shehas understood the only way to be happy is if she is alright and if her partneractually wants her. This is, in fact, my favorite characterization of Jackie byShanghaiLily.

Made Bare by MistyMountainHop

Summary: A heartbroken Hyde considers his relationship with Jackie kaput. Too bad Jackie sees it differently. She intends to get a proper resolution with him, but breaking through his hostility—and getting past his wife—may well prove impossible.

Comment: I love fanfics in which s8!Hyde gets an explanation and foot in the ass, and this is one of my favorites. It starts with Jackie’s POV and her insight is glorious. The way things work out between her and Hyde is not manipulated to be pure romance, it’s an actual experience for both of them. I love this fic.

Strange Brew by ShanghaiLily

Summary: Just a naughty little one-shot taking place sometime after Jackie Bags Hyde and before she reunites with Kelso. Jackie goes to a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert on a date but goes home with somebody entirely different. Sexy but not quite over the line into smutty M territory.

Comment: This is the first t70s fanfic I read, a damn beauty. Jackie is portrayed as someone who knows what she wants but is still growing up. It’s great for her character and for the HJ feels. And the sexy too.

She’s the Devil by starfalls

Summary: It’s Halloween 1980, and the gang takes an ill-fated trip to a party that leads to some major revelations between Jackie and Hyde.

Comment: Jackie is clever and sexy as fuck in this fic. I’m not a big fan of the Hyde of this fic, but it’s a very fun experience to read. Not to mention, seeing Jackie get what she wants, when and how she wants it, is always amazing.

Thunderstruck by bubblewrapstargirl

Summary: Jackie receives an invitation, and it makes her think about her life with Steven, and how far they have come since those days in the Formans’ basement.

Comment: This is about adult!Jackie and… you’ll see when you read. It’s a great lecture, to see her all grown up and so.

#that 70s show #eric x jackie #jackie x hyde #jackie burkhart #jackieforman #nini got mail #mine #fic recs #my recs

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asfeedin · 4 years

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“Grown Woman Weight”: The Concept That Helped Me Embrace My Curves

I arrived at Georgia Southern University in 2005 weighing 105 pounds, in size 00 low-rise jeans (the horror) and a size DD bra. It wasn’t until around sophomore year of college that I finally started to gain weight, and I was thrilled at the idea of my bottom half finally catching up to my top half. Grown woman weight, as I would soon come to know it, was seen as a beautiful thing, and as a Black girl from Atlanta, I saw full hips, thick thighs and big butts as a source of pride long before J. Lo and Kim Kardashian made them acceptable assets to the mainstream.

With this in mind, I was excited at the prospect of developing curves—that is, until I allowed other people to make me feel self-conscious. It didn’t take long for me to transform into one of those people who was obsessed with her weight.

One holiday weekend, while working at my very part-time job at Lady Foot Locker, I was venting to a coworker about worries that my weight was starting to get out of control, my former feelings of pride now a deep insecurity. A moment later, someone who had overheard my worries interjected to reassure me: “You’re just putting on your grown woman weight. That’s all that is,” she insisted. I found great comfort in that phrase, and I still do today. It symbolized progress, and meant that my body was shifting from that of a young girl to a woman. It made me realize the changes I was going through were natural, and not anything to be ashamed of.

Fast-forward to 2020, and I was recently reminded of this experience when I came across a Twitter thread started by influencer Tayler Rayne, asking her followers to share their own grown woman weight photos. I scrolled through the thread of beautiful, confident, curvy women celebrating weight gain as an achievement, and the photos gave me a true sense of empowerment. I think back and wish my younger self had been able to see such positive examples of women embracing their changing bodies.

Unfortunately, I hadn’t been quite so lucky back then, and the shame of gaining weight really took its toll on me. Unbeknownst to me at the time, I suffered tremendously from depression throughout my college years. I’d always been someone who felt things very deeply and experienced occasional bouts of sadness, but being away from home, ill-equipped for the social pressures of the school, my issues were taken to new heights. I started partying hard, and eating just as hard to soothe my sadness.

I I found myself desperate for the approval of others, and I entered into a relationship during my senior year. The guy had admired me for years, and when my body started to look different than that of the girl he’d lusted over from afar, he wasn’t shy about letting me know it. His comments didn’t motivate me to eat less; instead, they left me paralyzed as my confidence sunk even lower. I felt ashamed of how my body was changing, and I coped with my shame by eating, which only perpetuated the unbreakable cycle.

Jessica Wilkins.

My coping mechanisms of eating and drinking—plus my penchant for toxic relationships—were all things I took with me well after graduation. As my negative behavior continued, so did my weight gain. A few months before my 25th birthday in 2012, I began a meal replacement program (recommended by a doctor) and barely had to work out before dropping down to my goal weight of 130lbs. Everyone was so proud of me, and the external validation gave me enough momentary confidence to apply to the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York.

I got accepted and made the big move, but found quickly that a temporary fix for my overall issues wouldn’t be enough. I still didn’t have the proper coping mechanisms to deal with the daily highs and lows that came with just being a human being, especially one in a new, unfamiliar place. I often felt victimized, like the world was picking on me specifically. So I slowly abandoned my strict diet, and the weight came back on with a vengeance.

Jessica Wilkins.

It took about four years of struggling in New York before I finally got a job that allowed me to afford therapy. I started to identify and unlearn my unproductive thinking patterns and depressive triggers, and to relearn healthier coping mechanisms like journaling and meditation. Still, even with all this progress, I found myself wishing that I could get my trim, freshman-year-of-college body back.

This, it turned out, was an unrealistic expectation. As we age, our metabolisms slow down and our bodies change. We can never really fully go back, but we can walk forward into a new normal, one that’s in alignment with a healthier overall version of ourselves. Once I started embracing my grown woman weight, accepting this became easier, even exciting.

Therapy changed my entire perspective, allowing me to focus on how I felt as a whole as opposed to overthinking my external appearance. We tend to associate health and happiness with fit, beautiful bodies, sometimes without intending to at all. Even though I know they meant well, the friends and family who had celebrated my previous weight loss had no idea that the my accomplishment was really a facade, one that hid a very sad and broken spirit. Weight loss isn’t always a victorious accomplishment. Often, a person is still suffering emotionally on the inside.

Jessica Wilkins.

My journey to a healthier body could only truly be actualized by first treating myself with the compassion, kindness, and acceptance I deserved. That said, one thing I simply couldn’t come to peace with was my bra size—an H at my largest. I started to develop major back and shoulder problems because according to my doctor, my breasts were literally too big for my body. I’m only 5’2 for crying out loud! I made the decision to get a breast reduction and it was life-changing. I felt like I could see more of myself, and once I didn’t have to wear three sports bras to do a single jumping jack, working out became far less of a hassle.

Earlier this year, I started documenting my wellness journey and sharing it online. I knew many other women were struggling with feelings of inadequacy associated with weight gain and loss, and I felt compelled to share how focusing on fixing my mental health and outlook, not my appearance, was what helped me through dark times.

Seeing that “grown woman weight” Twitter thread reminded me that, always, my priority is to be well, not thin. Since 2005, I’ve gained about 70 pounds. To some people, that’s not much at all, and to others it’s a significant number. That said, what matters is how I feel about it, and to be honest, I’ve have never felt better about myself in my life. I was proud to contribute my own Before and After images to Tayler Rayne’s thread. My grown woman weight is a sign of survival, a physical representation of my growth and overcoming past hardships. I carry my weight like a badge of honor, not a source of shame, and I’m never looking back.

Tags: concept, Curves, Embrace, grown, Helped, weight, WOMAN

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queenshounds · 7 years

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i was tagged by @wellhalesbells. and oh man, i haven’t done something like this in ages, but it reminds me of these scrapbook-type notebooks we had in elementary school, where you’d write a bunch of questions, each on its own page, and then give it to people you wanted to know more about to fill out. it was always really interesting to see what people wrote in it.

A - Age: 22 (someone recently asked me how old i am, and i was like hmmm…) B - Biggest fear: uhhh, being stuck in your own brain forever and ever. either because i’d be too self-centered, or because of some illness. C - Current time: 4:26 pm. i just got home from uni. D - Drink you had last: blackcurrant juice E - Every day starts with: me not wanting to get out of bed (i don’t mind being awake though, i just have issues with actual, literal getting out of bed.) F - Favorite song: i… don’t have one. dancing in the moonlight never fails to make me happy, but this is a song i never seek out on my own (except for linking purposes). i think it would ruin the magic of it. instead, i wait for it to turn up on the radio or wherever. also, today i really like lorde’s homemade dynamite. G - Ghosts, are they real: nah. though, wouldn’t it be awesome H - Hometown: this really small town in Zagorje, Croatia (subjectively the best part of Croatia) I - In love with: yoga, books - though, maybe i should say stories, seems more correct. J - Jealous of: people who know what they want and how to get it. i’m constantly flailing about in the darkness. K - Killed someone: we’re not counting this awful(ly) huge breed of mosquitos that turned up a few years ago, right? L - Last time you cried: i have no idea. i tear up every once in a while when i’m reading news/fics/books, but a proper cry… i couldn’t tell you. sometime in the last two months, maybe?! M - Middle name: people around here don’t usually have one. and it’s really weird if someone does (”couldn’t they just decided on one name?” is the most commonly heard thing about it.) N - Number of siblings: one. O - One wish: to stop getting in my own way, i could do anything then. P - Person you last called/texted: my bro. it was about where i am, the fifth american gods episode, and healthy eating - no, wait. i texted dad to see if he could come and get me from the train station. Q - Question you’re always asked: “what?” meaning “could you please repeat? preferably louder.” i am notoriously quiet. R - Reason to smile: i looked like sunshine today. S - Song last sang: sorry seems to be the hardest word and it’s a wonderful life this morning in the car. (and then i later i mouthed along to interpol songs. i love interpol). T - Time you woke up: 5:30 am. (i’ve been waking up at 5:30 for most of my life and every time i have to wake up at 5:00 am, it’s like the worst torture ever imagined.) U - Underwear color: it’s black today. V - Vacation destination: if we’re talking about where i’ve been and would like to go again, then Zgornje Jezersko, Slovenia where we went hiking for the first time (i was wearing chucks - decidedly not the smartest decision i’ve ever made). but this summer i would really, really, really like to go to berlin. there are tenative plans to make this happen. (i’m gonna cry if i don’t end up going after all.) W - Worst habit: when i let my (extremly) contrary nature mix with my procrastionation tendencies. i just break my own damn heart. (it’s the worst. don’t recommend it.) X - Xrays you’ve had: to check if my finger broke when the girl slammed a basketball at me (it didn’t) and to see if my tooth was okay under the filling (it was, i just have really sensitive teeth). Y - Your favorite food: we call it french potatoes (no idea why because it’s the most zagorski thing ever). layer a few sliced potatoes (cooked in skin, but whatever works), a few boiled eggs, some finely chopped and fried bacon, then potatoes again in a pan that you can stick in an oven. then pour mileram (any sour cream will do, but runny is better!) all over that and bake it for 30 min at 180°C. (a surprise recipe! yay) Z - Zodiac sign: pisces

i accidentally hit ctrl+enter so if you’re seeing this again, sorry. i had no idea this is a shortcut to post. anyway, since i’m pretty much too awkward and shy to... live, really, and make friends like a normal person, it falls to you, reader, take it in your hands. so if you’d like to be friends ( acquaintances, mutual followers), fill this out and tag me.

#meme #abt #you have to make this #we don't eat it often #but when we do i have it for lunch dinner and breakfast the next day #it's that good.#hmu if this recipe is too vague for you

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myupdatestudio-blog · 7 years

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New Post has been published on Myupdatestudio

New Post has been published on https://myupdatestudio.com/inside-the-organisation-of-others-fellow-survivors/

Inside the Organisation of Others: Fellow Survivors

I spent this beyond weekend with 600 different women who “get it.” Those are the human beings that don’t let you know to stop worrying or move on. These are the people that don’t let you know which you don’t appearance ill. These are the ones that don’t tell you that you’ll be best.

I spent the weekend in Oakland, California on the annual Younger Survival Coalition Summit. YSC hosts this summit each yr. It’s a hazard for Younger grownup survivors of breast most cancers to satisfy up, percentage tales, listen the present day in treatment alternatives and visit small institution classes that fit their character interests. I go to this summit each yr; I am almost seven years out from prognosis and don’t continually experience like I want to pay attention approximately remedy alternatives, a way to get via chemo or what surgery to pick. I go to this annual assembly of survivors, pals, and circle of relatives because I much like to be round those who recognize me. It is so beneficial to be round humans who’ve walked in my footwear and I really like to think that perhaps I’m able to assist folks who are on foot down a route filled with steps I’ve already taken.

However sometimes being round other survivors may be a challenge. I may be caused by means of other humans’ stories. In a few cases, hearing a person tell the tale in their prognosis brings proper back to the day of mine. I don’t usually love going back to the past and reminiscing about my tumor that started me on this adventure. However, just being amongst the ones other ladies who understand what it’s far like to be in fear of no longer dwelling to look their children develop up, no longer having the chance to even have youngsters, just hoping to make it to forty years old, or questioning if they’ll ever date again, makes me feel safe. I have blended feelings every 12 months I attend. On one hand, I’m continually so grateful that every body have found each other and can go to an area this is open for us to simply be us: to complain approximately aches and pains, our issues with our emotions, frustrations with folks who inform us to get over it and move forward and console each different regarding our fears.

However, and this terrifies me and saddens me, there are so a lot of us. every yr the institution receives a little larger. It’s a reminder that most cancers are that terrible pest that received leaves. It’s a reminder to keep to push for brand spanking new remedies and technology to find that therapy we are all ready to locate. I hate the reality that every 12 months a number of us don’t make it back to the Summit to enjoy each different’s Agency once more. I sit up for the possibility to make it to the Summit again subsequent yr and notice my buddies. I stay up for seeing those that have been bald this year coming returned with a full head of hair. I look forward to being every other year out from my analysis and celebrating people who are celebrating the equal.

One of the quality remedies for surviving cancer is truely being around that institution that gets it – those that you don’t ought to give an explanation for why are scared, unhappy, lonely and satisfied all at once. This organization is my safe area and the vicinity I call domestic.

Being domestic Inside the Company of Others

Making new pals is like beginning a new adventure. If we may be our real selves, and we find we are secure in that, what a journey’s commenced!

Now, friendship takes on many one-of-a-kind nuances in life. once in a while we’re granted friendship from the least expected supply. God surprises us, and our hearts are kindled with pleasure.

***

I discovered myself invited to two birthday parties on the latest day off. As my wife become off operating, my two-12 months-old son and I spark off. The primary event turned into a 30th birthday breakfast at a graceful café for pleasant buddies I would marry less than twelve months in advance. That they had exciting news and we praised God together, In the midst of chasing after my two-12 months-antique. Still, an amazing time turned into had; to re-establish connections with new friends amongst the alternative guests, too – brothers and sisters in Christ. The second occasion turned into a one-12 months old’s birthday celebration, about 45 minutes’ drive away. Extra new buddies to meet, and More people I desired to recognize better. Later we went for ice cream. A huge day all-spherical. Then we went out to a people’s location we’re handiest simply gaining knowledge of. All new friends; all new stories.

All and sundry on this busy and pressured existence desires to sense they may be themselves – which I liken to being home.

Friendship is feeling home In the Business enterprise of those we are able to competently consider.

And that’s what the church is ready. It’s an area wherein the human beings of God can acquire, be fed, heal, be blanketed, grow, and most of all to feel at domestic.

The church has little to offer all of us unless it can be domestic – wherein friendship (being home In the Company of others) prevails in an efficaciously pervading way.

HR Outsourcing Organizations: the alternative Side of the Spectrum

According to Dr. W. Edwards Deming, “Abundance of natural resources isn’t a demand for prosperity. The wealth of a kingdom relies upon More on its human beings, control and government More than its natural useful resource.” This observation tells how crucial manpower is so one can reach enterprise. As a result, powerful control must be considered to improve enterprise.

Spine of the business

The human useful resource is taken into consideration because of the maximum important a part of the business, the motive why each Company has an HRD. The branch’s undertaking consists of But is not limited to hassle solving, conflict management, negotiation, powerful verbal exchange, and self-improvement. All Businesses understand the significance of hiring qualified personnel for vacant activity posts. This significantly facilitates to correctly administer huge job designs, impose bureaucratic regulations, examine personnel’ loyalty, and provision of identical employment possibility. HR personnel and bosses are tagged as the Spine of an organization. Their utmost attempt in choosing the proper workforce is the important thing to achievement.

the alternative Aspect

Outsourcing is One of the modern-day tendencies in business control. It lets in companies to successfully offer offerings at a lower fee. Additionally, a possibility for HR outsourcing Groups to adeptly control, and provide center offerings via utilizing outside resources to perform specific obligations. Few of the maximum outsourced functions consist of payroll management, background exams, and processing of employee assistance and benefits. agencies have their pitfalls, and so they hotel to the process. the alternative Facet of the coin indicates its dangers, along with:

• Language barrier. maximum firms will assign in- house responsibilities to offshore locations that offer decrease service fee. With this, customers will need ample time to study foreign accent to ensure that they may carry the proper message, and education to the carriers, and vice versa. Consistent with the converting needs of customers, training are required to fulfill fine carrier requirements.

• Loss of process. The reducing employment rate of maximum outsourcing countries has come to be apparent for the past few years. Forrester Research, Inc. tasks that 257,000 jobs can be outsourced from U.S. which can be equivalent to 3.four million process loss by using 2015.

• Loss of confidentiality. Confidentiality is considered essential in a commercial enterprise. it is vital to make sure that sensitive facts, such as financial institution account quantity or credit score card information will no longer fall into the wrong arms. Certainly, it is similarly critical to coping with an Organization that values integrity, and confidentiality to keep customers consider and loyalty.

• reducing the opportunity for “in-residence” abilities. With the current fashion, a decrease in expertise pool has emerged as substantial for the beyond years. corporations deter in-residence experts by way of hiring 1/3 birthday party Agencies in accomplishing precise obligations.

• Cultural circumstance. Other than language disparity, political and cultural Side of the commercial enterprise should Additionally be taken into consideration. Differences in political and cultural views may additionally restrict clients and vendors to fulfill midway as every of them may also have distinctive policies in consumer-associated inquiries.

The manner has its professionals and cons. It provides possibilities to other countries even as they continuously render service to customers at a decrease price. However, many have raised issues concerning health care benefits for odd working schedules, task safety, and financial balance. With all this stuff, it’s far crucial that HR outsourcing Corporations bear in mind the long-term consequences of this business technique to the business and its employees.

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