#but then i realized ..... this is a family.....a family that wants to get brutally (redacted) by fictional murder machines

[14dayswithyou]

DISCLAIMER: This is for all my 14DWY Fans who are sleeping on just how dangerous Ren is. LOL

I think it’s so funny how we all simp and are COMPLETELY whipped by ren.

He’a so cute, hot and has the sexiest habits. We’re in love right? We know he’d never hurt us and he’ll go to different lengths to please us.

He would steal thousands of dollars and give it to us, buy us whatever we wanted.

But then BOOM. It clicks for me that after seeing Sigh talk about how that’s the point and how he’s actually like dark web red room murder bad—it dawns on me that yeah…that IS the point.

 I love to pick apart character studies and try to really understand the character. And Ren is just a great case.

We are literally getting PLAYED. He calculated every last little detail. He knows the type of men we like, and literally altered his personality to be like that. We joke about his Haruko personality and how submissive and cute it is but I don’t think we realize enough that he did that JUST so we would feel easy around him and fall in love. And we did. We literally played right into his hand.

Some of us know, some of us don’t care and some of us don’t REALLY understand just how far ren has Gone.

He’s dedicated his ENTIRE life to you (since elementary) just because you made a promise to marry him when you were like 9. Then here we are 20 or older and he’s still infatuated.

He has mentally diluted hisself into thinking that you are the only person that he could possibly fall in love with. He has been obsessed you for over a decade ( or decades).

Another thing people aren’t really paying attention to is that Ren, can—will and most likely HAS murdered. we can’t forget this. Ren doesn’t mentally have the capacity to care about anyone except for the MC. If he needed to kill a homeless man, skin him alive and sell him for cash or something he would do it.

Ren is so cute and a pink sub hottie ➡️ Ren is an darker styled man who is a murderer and will dominate you.

Ren loves and cherishes MC ➡️ Ren is probably clinically delusional and has fantasized taking you all for himself because of a promise you made as a child.

Ren is so Strong ➡️ Ren has worked out solely to make sure he’d win and successfully murder his opponent in an altercation should the time come. He’s not necessarily muscularly sound for you.

Ren is so protective and always worried about MC ➡️ Ren is stalking you in the comfort of your own home. He is constantly watching you and sneaking in your apartment. You have zero privacy 24/7. He will kill anyone that finds out or is potentially romantically attracted to you. (I.e your childhood best friend or your mother that you love could all be brutally murdered if they were in Rens way.)

He’s hot and you’d love a man that’d “kill for you” until you realize that he’d kill your family, friends and anyone who even gets in his way. (What about their kids? Brothers? Or sisters? Someone is probably grieving over that person that Ren killed.)

Is it sinking in now? How are you going to feel when you cant have a life and have to tip toe around your lover because he will murder anyone that isn’t him or you. Ren is a psychotic, depressed, sociopath who is obsessed with you. He’s not just a Yandere. He’s…. a threat.

Don’t sleep on ren. 👁👁

✦゜ANSWERED: *louder than everyone else* THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The way you perceive Ren is so hot!!!! *chefs kiss*!!!!!! Shiro I love your mind!!!!!!!! This is literally how I've wanted Ren to be perceived as a yandere, and I'm honestly amazed at how spot on you got! >.< Like? [REDACTED] puts in all this effort to seem like your dream guy/ideal boyfriend — when in reality — he's hiding things that are far too sinister and disturbing to be described.

He has zero apathy for anyone other than the subject of his obsession, and he's not averse to doing unspeakably morbid and/or morally dubious things in order to get what he wants. And if he wants you, then there's nothing that can stand in his way.

He's desperate and willing enough to alter everything about himself in order to gain your affections, and he's more than capable of keeping up the facade if it means having you all to himself. He's been doing it for ten years already, so what's ten more?

He feels nothing when he murders and tortures people, nor does he cringe at the sight of blood and gore. At most, he might find it troublesome with how long it takes to drain the life out of someone, or if the blood gets all over his clothes — but when it comes to the wellbeing of his victims, nothing matters to him.

He knows his way around a fight and can deal devastating blows with a sledgehammer — but he can deal just as much damage from the comfort of his own home so long as he has a phone or a laptop at hand. Nothing is safe from his keen eyes, and it'd be a mistake to brush aside his hacking abilities.

Ren/[REDACTED] not some timid, pushover yandere who "probably doesn't know how to defend himself"; he's a deeply disturbed individual with an innate desire to get what he wants — no matter how gruesome or time-consuming it may be.

#i am kissing you gently (with consent)!!!!!!!! #thank you so much for writing this; i'm genuinely impressed! #i'd say so much more here but i should probably go to sleep hjsjgdjs #💌 — answered. #💖 — about ren. #ren introspection tag pending #queued post #to be tagged later

[deprivedofbraincellsandsleep]

hey, you said to send asks and i saw in your intro that you like all for the game; was wondering if i should read it. so, in your most brutally honest opinion, would you recommend it highly to others? no spoilers review perhaps? is there a certain type of audience it appeals or doesn't appeal to?

anon, as part of the fandom culture, I'll tell u not to read it if u value ur sanity.

Its a series abt messed up/complex characters for messed up ppl, or atleast for ppl who r willing to understand these characters and analyse them. It's not a series that's 2024 friendly, the characters are all nuanced and complex. It's rlly unhinged and yeah there are plotholes and if u rlly think abt it, i suppose it is unrealistic but its literally a book abt sports as a cover up for mafia, but the way the author creates her characters is wut rlly makes u obsessed with it. Personally, I loved it, if I knew who you were, it would depend on if I'd recommend it to u or not since I'm not sure wut kind of books u like.

I have no idea wut else to say because I suck at reviews and it's harder to rec it or not since ur anon, but I definitely wouldn't rec it to all these people who are into all these modern type books (idk wut else to call it but like booktok type books if that makes sense).

Oh I js realized I didn't atleast try to give a no spoiler review. So basically the books are centered around a fictional sport, exy, which is used as a front for the Japanese mafia. The mc, Neil josten, is a runaway who joins the worst team, the foxes, in the NCAA because dude js wanted to enjoy one year of his life before he dies. He tries to like stay low because his serial killer father is after him but with that attitude and his tendency to piss off people, u can guess how much that fails. Anyways so he almost starts a mafia war and ends up getting more trauma🥰🥰. Oh and he got also got *redacted*, aka his idek wut to call him (his not-boyfriend??). Oh did i mention how the foxes are just traumatized young adults who were given a second chance because that's the whole point of the team. It's like a found family trope too. Hmm idk wut else I can say without spoiling anything. But yeah that's it, though I will warn u now, ppl in the fandom love the fanon versions of the characters for specific characters (*cough*Nicky*cough*).

#I'm genuinely SO sorry for how bad my answer is #But I have no idea wut else to say #Or how to phrase it #This probably didn't help u at all #If u do read it #Lmk ur thoughts and maybe we could fangirl over it together #It is an addicting series tho #If uve read the raven boys by maggi stiefvater then ud definitely enjoy it #I said the name of Neil's love interest then I was ljke oh!! Spoiler!! #Because alot ppl in the starting thot Neil woukd end up with another character #Anyways that's the gist of the first book/series as a whole I suppose #I can't rlly say much without spoilers #Also FYI Neil is an unreliable narrator #I literally wrote that horrible review after writing the tags lol #Okay I'll stop making ur brain hurt anon #all for the game #nora sakavic #aftg #the foxhole court #aftg fandom #aftg trilogy #neil josten

[da3drat]

How about questions 3 and 5 for any couple you like?

AAA tysm for asking! :))) (sorry this took so long???? i didn't expect it to get this wordy sdjfklsj)

gonna do martin/celeste since I feel like I've been neglecting them in favor of [redacted] hahaha

3. By contrast, what was the moment that first made their ~heart~ Soft for the other person? Not necessarily a conscious realization of “I love this person,” but a moment that had them like “Oh…I adore them…”

Celeste is pretty soft hearted by to begin with lol, so it happens for her very quickly. There's so much build up to meeting him between the long walk to Kvatch where her mind has time to wonder what he might be like, and then the hours of adrenaline and panic of getting through that first oblivion gate only able to hope and pray that he's even alive. So when she finally meets him and all that buildup of energy releases, the relief has her vulnerable. And she tries to get him to go to the camp at the base of the bluff to wait for her where its safe, but he insists on staying to help despite everything he's been through since the initial attack the night before and she's just like. oh. i am going to protect this man if it kills me.

--

For Martin it takes longer, but it still happens before they reach weynon priory.

After they leave kvatch he is understandably very quiet. He has a lot on his mind (understatement), he's overwhelmed, and he just went through an incredible amount of trauma and watched people he's known and probably counseled as a priest for years get brutally killed by daedra. So after a few days of silent walking Celeste starts babbling. It's not nervous babbling- it's relaxed and clearly meant to be comforting. And he doesn't expect it to work but it does, it gives him something to focus on, and he learns a lot about her very quickly. She talks about her family, the ranch she grew up on, about restoration magic and swordplay and holiday traditions, and the more she talks the more he finds himself interested and wanting to know more.

And after a day or so of this it opens him up a little and that night by the fire, as if she can tell he's ready to talk (she can) she looks at him and says "You look like you're freaking out." And he can't help but laugh because yeah obviously what the fuck. But it breaks the tension and it gives him an avenue to talk without it feeling quite so heavy. And she listens to him. Really listens, in a way nobody has listened to him in a while, like he's the only thing in the world worth paying attention to in that moment. And by the time they turn in for the night he finds himself feeling lighter, and really grateful for her. Not her as "the person who showed up to save my life" but her. As just Celeste. As a friend.

5. How do they consciously realize that they like the other character? Does it take them a while?

For Martin it happens right away. Suddenly becoming the emperor comes with a particular kind of solitude and loneliness he isn't used to. And that solitude hits him hard when Celeste leaves for the imperial city. We see in the game that the blades don't know how to treat him as anything other than the Emperor, and even if it gets better over time I think he needs a friend the most towards the beginning of the game where the pain is still fresh and the anxiety is at its worst. And Celeste is routinely the one who gives that to him. She laughs at him and with him, she's warm to him, she treats him like a peer. And when she leaves he really feels her absence and it makes him realize how much she means to him.

--

It takes Celeste longer. She is a paladin of Mara and she does her damnedest to embody what she believes that means- she is overflowing with love. So it takes her a while to realize that Martin is special to her, that the affection and care she feels for him is different than it is with anyone else. She figures it out when she returns to the temple with the mysterium xarxes and Martin goes "thats dangerous, give me that!" and she feels like her heart is just exploding with warmth. People don't worry about her. She very intentionally doesn't give them reason to. She never returns with injuries, she never implies any of the insane tasks they ask of her is more than she can handle. But Martin worries. Martin sees through her mask. And that is everything.

questions here!

#THIS GOT SO LONG IM SO SORRY #i have much to say about these two #tysm again for asking!!!!<33333 #celeste #the dragon waits #martinxceleste #asks

[slasherscream]

just a small blurb but i can’t stop thinking about -

                   BILLY LOOMIS FT. A HILARIOUS READER

they don’t know how to act! no brain to mouth filter whatsoever. it’s the wild, wild west whenever they decide to move their lips.

imagine that reader with mister. stick up his ass billy loomis. can you GET what i’m laying down here?? the age old riddle of unstoppable force meets immovable object. whomst will win?

you may you run within the same general circle as billy and stu but you aren’t close to them or anything. you’re just so funny that everyone loves having you around. you could sit at any table during lunch and be greeted with smiles and eye-rolls, everyone already trying to guess what you’ll come up with next. 

it’s easy to not get caught always watching you when almost everyone is doing the same thing. you draw the eyes of anyone who’s talked to you, even if just for a little while. your personality nothing short of infectious. 

it drives billy a little crazy, actually. how you tell a little joke and he wants to look up and see the way the punchline shaped your mouth. how he hears your laugh in a crowd and has to stop himself from trying to find you so he can watch you be so caught up in being happy- 

at one point he’d thought he wanted to kill you. he’d never focused on another person so much without wanting them dead, frankly. 

but when he and stu were picking their next victim he bit down on his tongue to stop himself from saying your name. if he said it he’d follow through on it just to prove a point. so he didn’t say your name, and he admitted to himself that maybe he liked you a little. maybe even more than liked you. 

he still can’t bring himself to do anything more than stand a little closer to you at a party, or catch your eye and not be the first one to look away. 

stu is no idiot though and he’s billy’s guardian angel of “bro you’re capable of human emotions”. it just takes one time of billy slipping up while you’re around. you make a dumb joke, not even one of your hilarious ones and billy scoffs quietly       but not the way he usually does when stu tells a joke that doesn’t land. it was soft and there was the hint of a smile as he turned away from watching you. a real smile, too.

now that stu is involved all bets are off. he loves to see bullshit play out!!! even more than that?? he wants to see his best friend HUMBLED by the human condition of pining and having to regularly interact with the Person You Are Pining For™. 

so he “casually” tells you he’s never seen billy really laugh ( a lie. he’s seen everything billy has to offer, for better or worse ).

now billy has the full force of your comedic talent focused on him at all times!! because that’s so sad!! not even his best friend has seen him laugh? the person who he spends every minute with?? this is an emergency!!!

( stu thinks it’s kind of cute how easily you believed him. he thinks it’s cuter that you’ve decided it’s your life’s mission just to make billy laugh. some days you look like you found a hundred dollars laying in the street just because you get a smile out of him. he’s been the only one caring for billy for so long it guts him to see someone else finally do the same thing. and lord knows billy doesn’t make it easy- )

everyone needs a laugh!!! you are the laugh doctor! please hold still for this exam billy you are obviously sick and in need of healing. 

suddenly billy has two shadows instead of one. one of his shadows follows him around like an overeager puppy ( and it’s overwhelming - after so long of watching you from afar - to suddenly have every ounce of your attention. it’s like walking through a blizzard for miles, never wanting anything more than to be back in your warm house. then you get there and open the door and you’re home but the warm air hits your face and it hurts. that’s what it’s like when you hang off his arm rambling like you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but with him even on the most mundane days. ) and the other shadow is looking oddly smug recently. 

this all goes on for so long that you’re starting to get discouraged even as you also, incidentally, start bonding with him because of the sheer amount of time you spend following this man around for No Good Reason (according to him). 

the boiling point of it all? the anniversary of his mother leaving.

you know his mother is gone, of course. and you might even know the reason why (it’s a small town and people will always talk) but you didn’t know the date. you don’t have it etched into your memory the way it’s been burned into billy’s. 

stu has been walking on eggshells for weeks but you’ve ignored billy’s prickly mood, thinking he’s just getting into one of his funks.

in fact you doubled down on giving him attention. on teasing him. touching him. talking to him. staring at him. him. him. him. him. him - 

as if you don’t have anything better to do or anywhere else to be. 

the closer it gets to the day his mother up and left him without so much as a goodbye the more your constant presence starts to make him feel sick. you seem to be none the wiser as with each passing day the way his eyes settle on you gets more and more unhinged. 

( stu is nearby, painfully unable to help either one of you. a helpless onlooker that’s praying billy doesn’t go over the edge and kill you, or worse - push you away. )

and you’re doing it because you care so much it hurts but billy is insecure, at his very core, and he loves you and maybe he’s loved you for so long it’s pathetic. and some part of him can’t believe that you actually care about him. that this is anything more than a game to you when every little fucking thing you do means everything to him. 

it comes to a head when you invite yourself over the night of the anniversary. billy had seemed off the day before and you wanted to make sure he was okay or make him feel better if he wasn’t. 

( the funny thing about being so caught up in how you feel about someone is that it’s easy to miss the way they feel about you. because you love billy. you love him when he’s ranting about the complexities of the horror genre. you love him when he’s moody. you love him when he’s happy but thinks it’s not cool to show it. you love him when the sky is black as night or when it’s the brightest blue it can be. billy’s obsessed with the way you fill up a room just by being you but you can’t get over the way he invades every part of who you are. you can’t remember who you were before you first looked into those eyes of his, overflowing with intensity, and thought ‘ game on, tough guy ‘ )

he opens the door, already having half a mind to kill the person who has the nerve to bother him today of all fucking days - and there you are.

                                  and he snaps.

he snaps and he says every hurtful thing he can think of to say. because he wants to see how far you can take your stupid act. because he wants you to walk away so he can have a reason to kill you and get it over with. because he can’t love anyone again just so they can leave. 

when he runs out of words to say the rage subsides and he sees you. he sees you the way he’s never seen you before. on the verge of tears. and now he wonders if the one thing worse than you leaving him is you leaving him because he hurt you. 

but you push your way into his house, close the door and tell him that he’s a fucking asshole and that you’d beat the shit out of him if you didn’t love him so much. 

he finally laughs. it’s a shock to the system. it’s explosive and messy, the way billy is whenever he lets himself feel anything. you don’t have time to commit it to memory before it turns bitter and verges on hysterical. 

you’ll both always remember the way you rushed to wrap him into your arms and hold him close. the first moment when all the walls came crashing down. and even though you shouldn’t be, you were there waiting for him, ready to hold him together when he couldn’t do it for himself anymore. 

you talk all through the night and you don’t laugh but you smile at each other, and even though the smiles are a little sad they mean so much. maybe all this time you were hoping that if you could just make him happy enough then he’d always be yours in a way that no one else could ever have him. it was so fitting of him - with his contrary personality - to decide to share the ache inside of him instead. 

but you know this is so much more permanent and meaningful than his sweetest smile, or his brightest laugh. when he finally falls asleep in your arms, defenseless and vulnerable in so many ways, you feel like you could cry as the full weight of his trust sinks in. 

you can share happiness with anyone. but sadness?? the kind that’s seeped into every part of you? the kind that feels like a rot in your bones? that burns at the back of your throat? that’s special. 

and you do get to see him laugh the way you’ve always wanted to. 

you wake up late the next day and he’s, dare you say it, almost shy when he first looks up at you, already trying to move away from the warmth and comfort you’re so readily willing to give him. and it’s so endearing to see billy in the aftermath of all his anger. you did that for him - gave him a different kind of relief that no amount of blood shed could substitute. 

he tries to apologize, in his roundabout way, for either having human emotions in the first place or for burdening you with them. it’s hard to figure out since he’s so terrible at communication. 

you shut him up by kissing him and for once he doesn’t have anything to say. 

you kiss for a long time, the accumulation of months of wanting one another and ignoring it. and then you pull away to catch your breathe. as soon as you found it you tilt your forehead against his and look at him like he’s your whole world and it still makes him feel sick but now it’s in a good way. because now he can have you. 

he thinks you’re going to tell him you love him again and this time he’ll say it back because you need to know. need to know that you’re everything. that nothing matters but you. 

instead you say “it be like that sometimes” and the words hang in the air long enough that you start to regret them. until he starts to laugh. he wraps his arms around you and laughs so hard his shoulders shake. he presses his smile into your cheeks and says he can’t stand you. 

but it sounds so much like an i love you that you don’t even need to hear him say it. 

once he’s done laughing he says it anyway. 

#billy loomis x reader #bet y'all weren't expecting angst in a reader story that's titled ft. hilarious reader :))) #im slowly getting back to writing confidence #covid really ZONKED my creative energy and then i got nervous about being out of practice #but then i realized ..... this is a family.....a family that wants to get brutally (redacted) by fictional murder machines #not to toot my own horn but if i said half the things that i think out loud?? billy would be down on one knee already #both to propose and because he got winded from laughing so hard #his laugh muscles are as weak as his hair is greasy #no editing or proofreading we die like fucking warriors #i either wrote everything down perfectly or god strikes me down for spelling errors

[the-littlefangirl]

TFATWS episode 1 rewatch commentary

The first scene was so beautiful. I loved that we didn't start directly with the fight sequence. It feels way closer to the quiet beginning of CATWS and I love it so much.

The title is also SO NEAT, music's on point too but hey it’s Henry Jackman the one thing I’m sure it’s going to be great overall is the score.

The choreography is AMAZING, really well shot. Sam shielding himself with only one wing was MA-JES-TIC.

“WHAT'S UP” EXACTLY SAM EXACTLY

I did feel so uncomfortable in regards to the military aspect of it. Not that I was expecting anything else, but both here and in Captain Marvel the military we're good guys < 3 propaganda is so blatant and ugh:/ At least there wasn’t a literal recruitment spot like with CM. 

The yellow filter in the Tunisia scene BYE please stop with the yellow filters 2k21

"I've been working with the Air Force for six months now" So, did Sam even catch a break at all after Endgame? Or did he just throw himself to work like SOMEONE did after being iced for 70 years. Hmmm? Sam????

"Essentially, these people, they want a world that's unified without borders" OH NO! HOW AWFUL, how evil of these bad guys smh

Joaquin: SO about Steve

Sam: :)))))) nope

"Moon stuff" SAAAM

#1 cry with Sam's speech, full on chills.. Fuck. Me. His voice about to break before saying thank you bYE.

Shady politician: "It was the right decision" (FUCKKKKK YOUUU)

Rhodey: *press any key to doubt *

I need someone to analyze the different curation of the two exhibits pretty please

NOT THE PHOTO POST-AZZANO JFC. That photo is my weakness, Bucky sweetie (also I find hilarious that usually when there are articles about Stucky and/or #givecaptainamericaaboyfriend they aaaalways use that photo LMAO)

In case someone wants to read the transcription of the texts about Bucky: "In 1944, while on a mission to thwart a Hydra weapon transport in the Alps, Barnes was thrown from a train and believed to have been killed in action. It wasn't until 2014, over seventy years later, that it was revealed that Barnes was alive, having been found by Hydra operatives. Captain America himself (i can't read) the effort to bring Barnes in only to later aid in a escape from custody having been convinced of his innocence. Steve's loyalty to his old friend, coupled with his refusal to sign the Sokovia Accords, led to the dissolution of the Avengers and drove the Captain into hiding with other like-minded Avengers including Natasha Romanoff, Wanda Maximoff, and Sam Wilson. The current whereabouts of Barnes remains unknown, habing been labeled a fugitive following his escape from custody."

"current wherabout unknown" but not the government, interesting. Also, pretty good summary of CACW from the public's perspective, although one of the things I always wanted to see explored was the public's reaction of the fallout of them going into hiding after Civil War (which I'm hoping we'll get to see a little bit of in Black Widow).

Interesting point about the 70 years without having Captain America. Clearly the sacrifice play wasn't enough this time to fuel the nationalism so they went with a squeaky clean John Walker instead.

Sam saying the shield belongs to Steve I'm going to cry now excuse me. Sam. Sam sweetie.

The No. 1 Captain America comic in the display ugH fuck yes

See this is how you do a cameo that has actual meaning. Thank god for Malcolm Spellman being a competent writer. That scene was so well written.

HAVE YOU PRAISED ANTHONY MACKIE'S PERFORMANCE TODAY?? Holy shit that last shot fucked me up.

I'm loving the use of the wide shots, especially in the flashback. The camera movements are in synch with The Soldier's state of mind and mission focus, so good.

EVERYONE STAND UP FOR THE NATIONAL ANTHEM aka The Winter Soldier theme composed by Henry Jackman.

Without a doubt the most brutal TWS fight scene there has been, People involved in Punisher and John Wick are involved in this and it SHOWS. 

For the record, still stands that the only time we've seen him chocking someone with his right hand instead of the metal arm remains the Maria Stark assasination. I know it's probably because of blocking and the way the shot was composed but the implications are still bone chilling. God.

Uhhmmmm I'm very ambivalent about the "Hail Hydra". On one hand, it was 100% fanservice and the internet is probably going to go insane over it, and the dead way Sebastian Stan delivered the line. Good shit. Buuut what I love about CATWS is the way Bucky never, ever ever, mouths Hydra rethoric, and even when Pierce tries to gaslight him with it, it's just an empty effort. The Winter Soldier isn't doing anything because of ideological loyalty to Hydra, even if it's product of brainwashing, it's just sheer dehumanization. They don’t need him to say the words because he’s just An Asset. There are people who have put it more eloquently but yeah, I rather go with the fanon interpretation of that aspect.

The music growing louder with the shot of the keys. GOD.

I'm fine this is fine.

#2 cry with the therapy scene of fucking course.

The government monitoring Bucky is noooot going to end well lmao.

"We need to know that you're not gonna * slowmo stabbing motions *

Bucky: * nodding along slowly * 

I laughed out loud.

"It's passive agressive" I love him.

The way this scene just sucker punched me in the face, made me weep and then had me cracking up. Amazing.

Therapist: You can't do anything illegal

Bucky: yup yup check checkity check. What IS considered illegal tho?

*aggresive tablet finger pressing *

"Then why isn't it rule number one?" Bucky your Steve is showing.

I love the close up shot. I'll keep saying it. It's so good.

"I'm James Bucky Barnes" yeah you are🥺

That smile is nightmare fuel LMFAO I love it.

Uhm the way I'm kinning Bucky it's not funny anymore damn

That whole “are you lashing out at me” rambling is really reminiscent of the bar scene in CATFA and how he lashed out at Steve after Peggy left. Uhm yeah fuck.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" "Peace"

"That is UTTER BULLSHIT" "You're a terrible shrink"

yeah ugly crying to ugly laughing speedrun for me

"You're free" "To do what?" jesus. That entire scene. #3 and #4 and #5 cries for moi.

Ugh that Brooklyn shot. Someone needs to do a gifset compairing it to the one in CATFA asap.

"It's like Monique but it's got a "U" in there for uniqueness" "That's absurd" LMAO

"You can't keep fighting with your neighbors" uHM * redacted redacted i'm shifting into 1940s mode abort abort *

"Nobody passed 90" "So young. Such a shame" FGADHGA

🥺🥺 yes flex those flirting skills good for you

"It's a dance to this things. You can't… you gotta warm up and I haven't danced since 1943. Feels like." #6 cry I completely broke down into tears with that.

This Yori storyline is going to punch me in the face with a metal fist. Great!

The TWS theme when he looks at Yori fuuuuuck.

GREAT LET'S GO TO LOUISIANA THAT WAS GETTING HEAVY.

Those shots of Sam in the car. Immaculate. Showstoping. Yes.

Marvel, what if instead of promoting the military industrial complex you put a lot of publicity about cars?

"Uncle Sam!" LMAO subtle.

Everyone trying to have the wings lmao same.

I've only had Sarah for a day but etc. Brooklyn 99 meme

Good mirroring about Steve and Sam family's legacy. Good shit. Goooood shit.

Sam is trying so hard ouch my heart. I can't imagine how painful the scene with them reuniting must have been. He 100% still feels a lot of guilt about being gone for those 5 years (and even longer before that).

"Maybe it is time for us to move on" uuuuuuuuuuh

"To the rescue" "Always" 🥺🥺 i love them so much already

That shot outside the restaurant is so beautiful. Can't wait to see the night scenes in Madripoor tbh.

"I tried the whole online dating thing. It's pretty crazy". Uhm well that is something that Bucky Barnes has now said. In canon. Damn.

"It's a lot" "You sound like my dad" LMAO

Every Bucky fanfic trope speedrun with this scene

"Wow you really can drink" OH you have no idea

Just realized we don't even know her name, well.

"You have any siblings?" "I have a sister" THE WAY I SCREECHED. We're definitely getting Becca

Well that escalated quickly. The important thing is to try?

I can't deal with this BUCKY SWEETIE #8 cry right there fuck

The wardrobe department is KILLING IT, there's such a difference between the outfits of the shows vs how ugly and generic it usually is.

"ThEre is NO such thiNg as on time. You're either EARLY or LATE . picK One" lmao the way he delivered that line

At first I thought the flag smashers had thrown two cars out of a window LMAO

"I don't know how jurisdiction works here, but I'mma have to place you under arrest" uhm yikes. The way they changed Joaquín Torres backstory to just random army nice guy #1 is not sitting well with me, what can I say.

Sam's wings motions I LOVE HIM YOUR HONOR

Fuuuuck this guy.

"Funny how thing's always thighten around us" "Look, I'm on your side. After all, he's a hero". This script is C R I S P as hell, great fucking job.

"I don't care, I'm not gonna quit" "What are you trying to prove? And who you trying to prove it to" SHIT HSIT SHIT!!! UGH amazing. Look it's not necessary to say the show's questions out loud but how they flow between the conversations is still very satisfactory without feeling in your face about it. Inner conflicts have been set up fucking perfectly everyone * claps *

Ugh here we fucking go.  I knew this was how the episode was going to end but my stomach still dropped like a rollercoster. God.

The score is on point. Damn. Damn.

God, Sam.🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

The captain america franchise's visuals in the credits are always so amazing.

Also, does anybody know why Mackie isn't first in the billing?  Uhm what's that about?

ANYWAY CONCLUSION THAT EPISODE WAS SO FUCKING GOOD LIKE HOLY SHIT. I love them so much. The balance between the personal conflicts and the political aspect (although the military aspect is still very much yikes) was on point and it was overall a joy to watch.

#tfatws #tfatws spoilers #i'm so happy rn #sorry for the ramblings i just wanted to have it all written down #sam wilson #bucky barnes #captain america #tfatws commentary

[oathofoaksart]

YOUNG JUSTICE OC: KILLJOY  bio under the cut!

BASICS Name: Miles Manson A.K.A: Killjoy; Jess Terring [legally], K.J, Smiles; Jester [formally] Age: 31 [S3 Era] Gender: Cisgender Male Orientation: One Loud Shrug Noise Skin: Light tan; neutral-to-warm undertones Hair: Medium Brown Eyes: Cognac, leaning on Orange Height: 5'8" Build: Compact, similar to that of a baseball player Distinctions: Fingers and palms are partially "perma-clowned". Has a multitude of scars that riddle his body. Most noteworthy being the one which cleaves his right eyebrow in half [Robin I], track marks inside of his elbows, upper arms, and thighs [fear toxin self-injections], a slash across his nose [the Joker], a large discoloration on his left shoulder [Killer Croc], and a long scar that circles around the base of his neck [Victor Zsasz] RELATIONS [note a few @ are friends i prob only know their dA handle to] Parents: Vinny [deceased] and Katherine [estranged] Terring Siblings: Eva Terring [estranged] Friends: Erin Knightly-Tetch @little-red-xoxo, Dick “Nightwing” Grayson, Penelope “Stage Fright” Caskett @poltergeistprincesa, Jervis “The Mad Hatter” Tetch, Molly “Blondie” Weiss @Triskata Partner/s: Scattered one night stands, notably henchwenches; M. "Last Encore" (ev.) @whispering-lava Misc.: The Joker, Harley Quinn, Gi “Geode” Flores, Janus Lyssa @SherlyWats, Madelyn “Angelica” Farro @The-Brain-Teaser, Jadis “Killcode” [Surname Redacted] @whispering-lava Affiliations: The Tetch Family; The Joker Gang [formally] PERSONALITY Personality Type: ESTP-A [Assertive Entrepreneur] Temperament: Sanguine-Choleric   Alignment: Chaotic Neutral Playful | Witty | Erratic | Careless | Brutal Miles’ “daytime” persona is a friendly, quick-to-joke man who takes all things in stride. He possesses a casual cheeriness and an easygoing attitude that aids him in making quick acquaintances and even a fair amount of friends, even if he’s notably private about his personal life. It’s usually written off as him having a generally quiet bachelor lifestyle. He’s best known from his job as a waiter at a tea and sweets shop named The Mad Tea House, where he lets his more impish traits shine through to his fellow employees. He’s been guilty of child-like pranks, shirking responsibilities onto others, and being a bit of a gadfly when he feels things have gotten too quiet in the tea house. As Killjoy, he’s violent, disturbingly reckless, fueled by spite, and follows no logic other than his own. He wastes no time looking for retaliation when he perceives a wrong done against him. K.J’s sense of humor is abundantly morbid, his words often tinged with irony and false jolly. He thoroughly enjoys getting under people’s skin and milking their uncomfortableness. In truth, there are very few things Miles takes seriously, but the one thing he sets above all else are his ties of loyalty. As rash as he is in regards to his own well-being, all bets are off once someone he comes to care for is in harm’s way. While he argues he finds this annoying about himself, it’s also his one source of proof showing he hasn’t completely lost his way. ABILITIES AND WEAKNESSES Metahuman Biology: Originally, Miles’ metagene was tied to his adrenal glands, allowing a boost in bio-stats such as improved strength and reflexes. Years of fear toxin dosing further strengthened this metagene. Unbeknownst to him, his metagene was continually evolving, correlating with his need for survival. His eventual death “rebooted” the metagene, jump starting his body, and fully allowing it to unfurl.

- Immortality: Miles has recently discovered his inability to die by various means. His body heals regentively and is immune to fatal poisons and toxins. - Adrenaline Surge/Blitz Mode: His adrenaline bursts allow him enhanced strength, speed, agility and reflexes. During these “Blitzes,” Miles turns into a one-man wrecking crew, plowing through obstacles and opponents through sheer determination. - Pain Tolerance: Has an abnormally high tolerance to pain, does not mean he can’t feel pain, it simply doesn’t hinder his ability to think or move. (Ex. He can burn his hand, and he feels the same amount of pain anyone else would in the same situation, he just won't react to it if he chooses not to) While Miles is officially immortal by way of being unnaturally resilient, he is still able to experience symptoms and side effects of diseases, poisons and toxins. His healing factor slows in colder temperatures, stopping completely when it drops to freezing points. Heavy damage to his head area hinder him considerably and Miles still feels the after effects after having healed (ie. slurred speech, blurry vision, dizziness). He is extremely susceptible to electric attacks, as it overrides his nervous system, prompting unconsciousness. Gear/Weapons: - Frowny Face Mask: Besides serving as a trademark symbol, Killjoy’s mask comes equipped with mapping and schematic information, allowing for quick and easy navigation. - Voice Changer: An electronic patch attached to his throat allows Killjoy to copy various voices, ranging across age and gender. - Signal Scrambler: Killjoy operates on a generally covert level, sometimes communication from one party to another isn’t in his best interest - Assorted Explosives: Killjoy’s go-to toys, these are generally self explanatory. They vary in size and demolition damage. For the sake of irony, Killjoy is fond of deadman switches.   - Weighted Gloves: Serve as built-in brass knuckles, K.J’s preferred melee weapon 3 in. Balisongs: Two of them to be precise, these typically only come out when simple bruises aren’t cutting it anymore. - Grappling Gun: Useful to get around the city landscape. The blue labeled gun. - 9mm Handgun:  Killjoy dislikes having to use this one, if it’s in his hand, he’s officially stopped fooling around. The red labeled gun. - Joyride: A custom-built Camero, Killjoy’s prized possession and getaway car HISTORY TW: SUICIDE MENTION Jess Terring, better known in the Gotham Underground as Jester, shot through headlines despite his years of generally low profile work as a simple Joker lackey. Charged with the deaths of dozens and injuries of several more by result of a fatal explosion, he was to spend a life sentence at Arkham Asylum, his protests of innocence falling on deaf ears. His attempts at an appeal were overruled, even with figures such as Batman and Nightwing looking into his case for him. Arkham Asylum was hell on Earth for Jess.  His shreds of hope fell apart as the months crawled on, his mental state deteriorating in the process.  He had never wanted to get involved with the Joker, all he’d been was a good-for-nothing conman who’d gotten too greedy. His last four years as Jester had been a never-ending nightmare. Things finally culminated during a free-for-all jailbreak at Arkham where Jess, along with other inmates, were cornered on the roof. Unable to stomach the idea of being thrown back in the cell he was wrongfully given and simply tired of the misery, he jumped. Jess Terring was proclaimed dead by suicide off Arkham Asylum… The last thing Jess expected to happen was to wake up in a morgue. Barely coherent and running on sheer instinct, Jess managed to escape, although not without killing the on-duty mortician. His first official kill and he hadn’t felt a thing. He wouldn’t reflect on it until after clearing Gotham City, and even then, he realized it wasn’t the mortician’s death that bothered him, but rather he didn’t feel anything about it to begin with. Between recognizing his new lack of humanity and hearing the joker-like laugh escaping him, Jess broke. He spent the following months wandering the states as a nameless face. The bizarre events surrounding Jess’ death was eventually swept away by the everflowing stream of news media and within the year, faded into obscurity. It was the best he could have hoped for, free from the Joker’s grasp and unknown, but his thoughts kept returning back to Gotham City. The more the thoughts plagued him, the angrier he got. The Joker had gotten off scot-free, having framed him for the initial massacre and ran him to the ground, eventually turning him into...whatever he was. While a part of him argued he’d be better off cutting his losses, he found himself unable to set it aside and he set course back to Gotham City. He didn’t have a plan so much as he did an outline, but he soon figured out he wasn’t required to be especially careful anymore. Being nigh-indestructible made for a good buffer. He’d finally found a blessing through his curse and through trial-and-error quickly fashioned himself as a makeshift mercenary. During this time he worked under a variety of names, involving himself in several under-the-radar jobs in order to fund what would eventually be his official M.O. He marked his entrance into Gotham with a string of bomb hits on territories tied to the Joker. As of now, not many are sure what to make of this new face, some cheering for his more direct approach on the Clown Prince, others exhausted with the prospect of another nut on the scene, and even a few seedier folk wanting to get him on their payroll. He’s unconcerned by it all, but he finds himself liking the ring to the name circling around him. Killjoy. NOTES - Killjoy mostly classifies as a serial bomber, targeting hideouts and planned heist hits. While he will set up evacuations so as to not injure more people than he has to, he’s fairly flippant about collateral damage - Despite his nonchalance towards violence, Killjoy does what he can to keep things non-lethal. His way of vengeance is a shot to the knee rather than a shot to the head. It’s not that he has a problem killing, it’s just as an immortal, death is the easy way out. - It’s believed Miles’ drastic change in personality comes from multiple factors instead of just one large catalyst (ie. years of fear toxin injection, joker gas inhalation, the trauma of death and resurrection) - The name Miles Manson doesn’t have any particular meaning, it had been a name he improvised and he grew fond of it. He severely hates being called Jess. - He suffers from night terrors, likely due to his usage of fear toxin in the past. He also experiences flashbacks akin to HPPD, albeit rarely - He can withstand an extreme amount of physical abuse and keep his wits about him, but once it passes a certain threshold, his mental state will eventually slip into a frenzy. Unable to consciously keep hold of himself, he will become animalistically brutal to anyone in his vicinity. - K.J mostly concerns himself with causing problems for the Joker, although he can be moved to ally with others for other reasons when he finds fit. Notably, he’s stuck a somewhat fickle truce with Nightwing over the rising number of metatrafficking rings in Gotham and Blüdhaven.

#gar's art #gar's oc #young justice oc #dc oc #killjoy #miles manson #jess terring #meet the ocs #oathofoaks

[luca-moreno]

Sometime after the phoenix dinner/before Op: Asteria… (sorry Luc)

The quiet hallways of the Berlin should be safe to walk in the early hours of the prime sleep cycle, even with a contingent of biotic super soldiers on board, because Luca counts them among his friends. They might not realize it yet, but they are. Part of the family Luca is cobbling together through loss and triumph and loneliness and war.

It should be a safe place… but it’s not.

The hands that grab him are unexpected - rough and wide and hard as they curl harsh fingers around the material of his fatigues and slam him bodily into the metal walls of the ship. His chest hits the metal a fraction of a second before his head does and the impact is jarring enough that pain blooms across his nose and he tastes blood in his mouth.

“Wha-“

“I know about Ontarom, you little bastard,” the voice snarls. Luca’s blood snaps ice cold at the sound of it. “You think you can hide it?”

Yamamotto. Of course the voice would be his. Suddenly his unexpected animosity towards Luca makes a horrible kind of sense.

“No, I- get.. get off-”

Luca’s head is pushed against the bulkhead again, a fist tightening painfully in his curls and pulling on his scalp. His nose stings and something wet runs down his chin. “Get off,” he tries again to struggle but the grip on him gets tighter and his protest comes out like a strangled gasp.

Yamamotto hisses. “I know what you did to your squad… How they’re all dead because of you.”

His head is shoved harder against the cold bulkhead and this time he sees stars. “No. No, it wasn’t-“

“Shut up!” Yamamotto slams him again just for good measure. “I’ve been watching you, you little prick. All buddy buddy with the captain, and the XO and the fury and those fucking Cerberus monsters-”

Luca tries to struggle but Yamamotto has one hand twisted painfully against his back, the other still in his hair. His legs shake and it’s hard to shift through the panic. But whatever Yamamotto thinks he knows, he’s wrong. He’s wrong!

“It wasn’t my fault,” Luca manages to choke out the words, but they emerge slurred and tinted with panic and a sob follows them. Oh, fuck, don’t cry, he tells himself. Don’t fucking cry!

“My cousin was on that mission,” Yamamotto continues, low and harsh in Luca’s ear. “My cousin, my best friend. And now they’re dead because of some crappy little engineer fucked up-“

It wasn’t like that! Luca wants to yell it, but his tongue feels too big in his mouth. Shame floods him, and leaves him cold deep in the core of him. He tries to ignore the ring of truth Yamamotto’s words carry. Yamamotto isn’t saying anything that Luca hasn’t already said to himself a million times before.

“The reap-“

“Why do you get the captain’s ear? After what you did? Why do they all look at you like you’re something special? You’re not, you know,” He snaps it violently, tugs harder on Luca’s hair. “You’re nothing but a piece of shit and now my family is dead-“

Yamamotto yanks him back off the wall and Luca stumbles, legs weak. The only thing holding him up becomes Yamamotto’s hand in his shirt and he blinks dazedly just before Yamamotto’s fist finds his face. He can take a punch, he’s been trained for that, but the brutality of this hit makes him question if he doesn’t actually deserve it.

“Fucking prick,” Yamamotto says again and Luca catches a glimpse of twisted, ugly features before he’s shoved again. “I’m going to make you pay for what you did. Have some fun then throw you out the fucking airlock.”

Luca gasps, ears ringing through the pain and chest heaving with panic that makes his vision static out at the edges. There’s a blessed moment of relief as Yamamotto readjusts his grip but its short lived when Luca finds himself spun and shoved back face first into the wall and the air rushes out of his lungs with the impact. He’s not sure how he manages to stay on his feet but Yamamotto’s weight on his back is heavy and suffocating and pins him in place.

“Yeah, you’re going to take what’s coming to you.”

Luca’s hearing might not be what it used to be, but sometimes, it’s horrifyingly better even through the buzz of the punches. He hears the rasp of a zipper, and the hand tightening around his wrist gets heavier. A chink of a belt buckle and Luca has been around soldiers trapped in a tin can in space enough to know what it means. Panic tastes like bile in his throat and he swears roughly, trying to dislodge the grip on his wrists but he only ends up lifted slightly then pinned harder with a snarl in his ear.

“No, no,” he wheezes it through trembling lips.

“Shut the fuck up,” Yamamotto hisses. “Or I’ll really give you something to cry about.” A hand slaps over his mouth, slimy and putrid, making him want to gag, but the weight on him is still too much to shake off. No, he thinks in wild panic, this can’t be happening. No, no, not here, not on the Berlin, not where he was supposed to be safe and he had people who cared and friends and-

Think… think! What had Eva told him? How had she got him to focus?

The box.

Think about the box.

Luca’s eyes squeeze shut. Everything hurts, it’s hard to breathe through the coppery tang of blood streaming from his nose but he calls to mind Eva’s face, her smiling blue eyes, her voice and the calm way she talks. It happens in increments but he allows his body to go weak. Yamamotto senses his compliance and crows in triumph. “Ha! I knew you’d be good for this I space ya.”

Luca blocks it out. Puts it into the box, puts each ache and thrumming line of hurt into the little square shape in his mind. It’s not easy, the panic skirts too closely to the edges threatening to pull him under, but he keeps trying. He keeps going until the grip on his wrist loosens and Yamamotto grasps greedily at his pants while fumbling at his own. Luca gives it one more second, one more heartbeat of Yamamotto trying to breathe into his ear before he allows his head to fall forward… He takes a breath, then snaps his head back with as much force as he can muster.

There’s a sickening crunch and a howl that Luca barely registers but the grip on him loosens. Yamamotto stumbles back a step, holding his nose and swearing. Luca uses the chance to run but Yamamotto is fast, kicking out a leg to catch Luca’s ankle and sending Luca crashing to the floor. He lands heavily, on one wrist twisting under him as sharp agony blooms up one arm. The slight distraction gives Yamamotto his chance and he latches onto Luca’s boot with a bloodied snarl, trying  to drag him back. Luca desperately scrambles, and allows the panic back in, allows the adrenaline to give him the strength he needs to draw back one foot and slam it into Yamamotto’s face. Hard.

There’s another howl of pain and a litany of curses but Yamamotto lets go and Luca desperately tries to clamber away, heart loud in his ears and breath rough in chest.

He stumbles towards the elevator at the end of the hall without looking back, half hoping, half praying he doesn’t run into any of the other crew before the realization washes over him that he doesn’t want anyone to know about this. He can’t. Yamamotto had targeted him because of that mission, the mission redacted in his service records, the mission no one was supposed to know about and Luca suddenly stops and wheezes in place when his mind skips through the rest of his life if it gets out.

And all he can see is being alone and shamed and scared once again.

He shoves a hand to his mouth to muffle the sob, tastes more blood and sweat. He shoves his shirt over his nose in an effort to stem the bleeding and wonders with an edge of panic how was he going to hide this. He could go to the medbay, but Kate would take one look at him and know he’s been jumped – there was no waving it aside with a mumble about falling off the Kodiak, or getting too carried away with training here and then it would come out why he’d been singled out. He couldn’t go back to his bunk, Harris and Davis were there anyway, and Braun and Thurman and Thompson would all ask too many questions and Eva and the XO or her brethren of biotics… No, he was already ordinary and weak, this would only make it worse… and the Captain – oh god, he would be a disappointment to Isaac too and that’s the most sickening thing of all.

No. No, he can’t risk any of them knowing.

He cradles his injured wrist to his chest, and hobbles into the lift, a split second decision taking him south into the bowels of the ship.

When he steps out, the cargo bag is blessedly silence and devoid of any activity. Luca goes straight for the shuttle, climbing painfully through the open door and towards the rear where he sinks down onto his knees. The flash of red through the grates in the floor fill him with relief as he pops the seal and painfully lifts out the medkit. He makes short work of applying the medigel over his face, sighing as the light tingle goes to work and half wonders how he’s going to replace what he’s used - he doesn’t want to be responsible for someone else not making it, carried back on a stretcher only to find no damn medigel waiting.

He couldn’t be responsible for anyone else dying. Senseless, needless…. Pointless.

Luca leans over and retches. Dry, heaving, blood soaked spittle.

And starts to cry.

#luca moreno #it was a bad day & luca copped it #sorry luc

[champagne-bucky]

The Undoing: Three

Summary: The truth about a past life is unveiled.

Warnings: THIS IS A DARK STORY!! dark! Steve Rogers x reader, kidnapping, non con and dub con (or at least mentions of), dark! Bucky Barnes, Stockholm syndrome, grooming, mentions of pregnancy termination and suicide mentions (for one chapter), possibly more tags to be added!

Notes: Hahaha... remember this story? Lol so I finally can give to you Chapter 3!! I feel so bad that this was so late, but school really kicked my ass so hard and I’ve just been so unmotivated. I’m gonna try my hardest to give you guys this story and some other stuff I’ve been working on! I hope you guys enjoy this one! Please make sure to like, reblog, comment, inbox, and follow me for more!! Enjoy :)

PLEASE READ WARNINGS!!

Hell must be an eternal bliss. If it’s anything compared to how you’ve been living your life the past few years then Satan himself has nothing on Steve Rogers.

Life was never the same after that day in the hospital. From the moment you left that bed to the moment you arrived home with your little Sasha, Steve had already struck the fear of God into your soul. From the second you entered into your prison, Steve had wrestled the newborn out of your hands and into his. What followed after was a swift grab of your hair and a drag down the basement steps.

“You can leave when you learn,” Steve spat at you before locking your ankle back into place.

Those days were the darkest moments of your life. You never got to see Sasha, well you did interact with her you just couldn't physically see her. Steve made sure of that. Every time poor baby Sasha was hungry you were subjected to a blindfold around your eyes. Steve said it was part of your punishment. You tried to take away his family, he would take away yours, at least the sight of them.

That was all you got with precious Sasha. This punishment was real and it ended up fucking with your mental and physical health.

*a few months later*

How long has it been down here? Months, year? It couldn’t have been weeks. Life was going on all around you and you had missed it all.

Steve taunted you, he got off on your absence in Sasha’s life. The doctors had told Steve it was safe to start using bottled milk after a while which meant there was no chance of you to even feel Sasha and her touch. No more, you saw nothing, not even a shred of hope.

*18 months*

You had cracked, it had officially happened. That light you hoped would never fade has burned itself out. In its place a hollow bulb left with no purpose. The only difference between you and the bulb? Your purpose was to be solely Steve’s. You didn’t belong to anyone else, not even baby Sasha.

These last months had broken you down into the compilable puppet Steve wanted you to be. You missed everything in your baby’s first year of life all because of that stupid mistake the night of her birth. Steve tortured you even further by not even mentioning the baby one bit. It’s like there wasn’t even a baby at all. At one point, you feared that Steve might’ve given her away, but he accidentally slipped one night during your punishment by mentioning her. Sasha was your last source of joy and you couldn’t even see her.

“I wanna have another one,” Steve mentions to you while you eat the food he brought you. For the past months you were only given his scraps of food, it’s no wonder why he’s giving you full meals lately, he wants you strong for another baby.

The stubborn girl inside you wanted to scream no, but you knew what would happen if you did. If having another baby would make Steve happy, you would do it. Maybe you could wager your way out of the basement.

“I would like that too, Steve. A little sister or brother for Sasha,” Steve hid his shock. He was fully expecting you to have another outburst, but you seemed so compliant now.

“Why don’t we go upstairs and see little Sasha,” you gasped at Steve’s suggestion. You would finally be able to see your little girl after all this time.

Steve led you up the stairs for what would be the last time for a while now. The bright light of the upstairs hit your face and you needed to adjust to it. He led you over to the living room area and that’s when you saw her.

She was sitting with Bucky and playing with her toys. You had tears in your eyes as you broke away from Steve’s hold and ran to Sasha. Bucky eyed you up and down. You were dirty. Hair long overdue for a cut and your nails were grimey. You were a wreck. What had Steve done to you down there?

You picked up your daughter and held her close. She cried. In fact, she was wailing to the point where her face was turning beat red. Sasha started failing her limbs around and looked for her daddy. It took both Steve and Bucky to pry you away from your daughter. Steve took her into his arms and soothed her.

“I think she needs a nap,” Steve then handed your daughter to Bucky as he brought her upstairs.

“I don’t understand,” you were kneeling on the floor now looking at the staircase Bucky had just gone up.

“Oh, well she doesn’t know who you are. You're more a stranger to her than a mother,” you didn’t even want to turn around to see the grin on Steve’s face. He lifted you into his arms.

“Shhh, it’s okay,” you didn’t even realize you were crying, “she’ll come to know you soon enough. Now let’s get you upstairs and cleaned up. We have plans.”

-

*5 months later*

It was a brutal few months. Months filled with trial and error in regards to getting pregnant again. Months spent in a bathroom crying over another negative pregnancy test. Months spent living in Steve’s disappointment due to your failure to conceive a child. However, that silver lining came in at the five month mark. Finally, there were tears of celebration from both you and Steve. The latest addition to your family would be on their way soon enough.

During this time, you got to see Sasha, but barely. With every failure that came Steve would redact the amount of time you two would spend together. Some days he wouldn’t let you see each other at all because of your “unwillingness to commit to this family” and that broke your heart.

You were groomed to be the perfect wife and perfect mother to this family and goddammit were you sure not going to fail. Steve had taught you how a wife should serve and act around their husband and you followed his every command like an obedient dog. Now, you finally succeeded with this baby and were back in Steve’s perfect graces.

-

*a few years later*

The routine was always the same. Get up, get dressed, feed the babies, and make breakfast for your husband before he locked himself away in the office for the day. Take care of the babies and clean around the house. Make lunch for Steve and maybe have some alone time together if the babies are down for a nap. Not if, they better be down for a nap, Steve’s orders.

Grocery shopping is to be done on the weekends and weekends only. Steve will go out because only you can watch the babies. If you needed something you forgot to write on the list, too bad it would have to wait until next weekend.

It was a good system, a steady routine. You didn’t argue with Steve because you knew better than to question his ideas. Plus, you didn’t mind staying home with the babies. You loved taking care of them and spending so much time with them. To be honest, you even hated putting the little ones to bed because that meant you would be apart. The babies were keeping you in one piece.

Of course Steve was doing his part as well. The perfect husband. A man you didn’t know you needed in your life to be your provider. He truly was becoming an ideal man.

The babies were doing great. After Sasha you gave birth to another girl, Gwenyd. Sasha was a helpful big sister to her and you couldn't wait to tell them about the newest little one to join your perfect family.

-

Life for baby Sasha was as simple it could be for a toddler. She got naps and food and spent the whole day with her mommy. Needless to say she was living the ideal toddler life. However, past her toddler years she was taking up responsibilities that a little girl shouldn’t have.  

Ever since she turned 6, Sasha would help her mother out with the younger siblings. It was a sweet sight to see. You had taught Sasha how to feed the little ones, how to change them, how to dress them, like one big game of house. This was the bonding time you had always craved with your little girl.

Steve thought that it was endearing. A mother and daughter helping take care of his children. He really did have the perfect family.

As the years went on, Sasha had gotten older and she had more siblings to help take care of. You were burnt out by then. A new baby almost every year or two. Luckily, you had your daughter helping you out, but she shouldn't have to be subjected as a second parent when there was another perfectly capable one sitting locked in his office.

On top of that, you now have to homeschool these children while making sure the helpless little ones were being properly taken care of. Needles to say, you were on the verge of a breakdown and Steve wasn’t willing to help out with some of it.

Sure, he would have his bonding time with the babies, but when it came to the older ones and homeschooling he couldn't deal with that headache. After all, he did tell you that if you didn’t want them sent to a daycare then you would have to take up all the responsibilities while he was at work.

He knew you wouldn’t send the kids away, you were too attached to losing them like you had lost yourself. They were the only thing stringing your reality together and keeping the cracks from splitting further down the line. You were happy, he convinced himself, happy and compliant.

-

*a few years later*

Why didn’t you take that deal with Steve when the kids were younger? Why couldn’t you just let them thrive in a better learning environment? You are worried you’ll fail these kids. Worried that you’ll screw them up. You were close to shattering.

Being pregnant again and teaching your daughter how to do fractions, that not even you knew how to explain, was taking a toll on your mental state. You wanted a break. Just one day where you didn’t need to worry about what was for dinner or what’s tomorrow’s new lesson play. You NEEDED a break.

Steve wouldn’t let you go anywhere. The rules had never changed. You never even got to be in your backyard alone. Didn’t anyone realize that no one but Steve ever left the house?

The kids were sometimes allowed out, but only when Steve had the time to take them, which was rarely. Bucky never came around anymore. You didn’t know any details, but assumed they must’ve had a falling out. Steve never told you anything about his work or about family or friends. Frankly, you didn’t care as much either. This was your new life now and the past was in the past.

-

Steve was going to kill his wife. If it wasn’t him killing his wife then then it would be the first person who would cross his path. How could she be so careless? How could HE be so careless? He thought the locks he bought for the house were secure enough to keep his wife in, guess not. Turns out all it took was his 13 year old daughter swiping away a key he thought he misplaced for the total shit storm to come down on him.

It all started on a quiet afternoon, the wife was cooking in the kitchen and the kids were playing in their rooms. There was a knock on the door, Steve told his wife not to bother as he went to answer it. He remembers the feared look on the one agent's face as they announced they were CPS coming in for an investigation. Needless to say after they left, Steve went berserk. Not only on his wife, but on Sasha too.

“HOW COULD YOU BE SO CARELESS?” Sasha was clinging to her mother with tears streaming down her face.

“Steve please don’t be so hard on-”

“YOU STAY OUT OF IT. I’LL DEAL WITH YOU LATER,” well you knew better than to interrupt at that point.

Steve was pacing back and forth while yelling at how careless and stupid his daughter was. Sasha was scarred from that night on. She was afraid of disappointing her father and mother anymore. So, she became more quiet and reserved than usual. You thought it was awful the way Steve broke her down, Steve thought it would teach her to be better.

CPS wouldn’t let up on their investigation with the Rogers family. Steve noticed that someone was always watching them. Whether it was from across the street or an impromptu visit, they were always around.

He needed to get them off his back somehow. If they were to find out who his wife really was then it was to the prison cell for a long time. Of course the cops had been looking for you. In fact, your father offered to fund all the money in their pockets to keep their investigation going. The case ran cold a few years back, Bucky told him that before he departed for the next few years.

Steve did the most drastic, and most likely stupid, thing he could’ve thought of: he enrolled his eldest in high school.

It might backfire, but if Sasha just stuck to the carefully coordinated routine Steve laid out for her, then all would be fine...right?

Tags to be added in comments!!

#dark avengers #dark captain america #dark steve rogers #dark steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fic #dark marvel #mcudarklibrary #dark bucky barnes #dark james barnes #dark winter soldier

[kintsugi-sheep]

2021.01.10: Redcaps and Manga Reviewing, Vigor and Nostalgia

Alright, so what happened this week?

Well, I don’t think I’ll ever forget what happened this week. I was six when September 11th occurred, so I wasn’t really cognizant of what had happened. But I am cognizant now. And I won’t forget what happened on January 6th for a very long time. I don’t consider myself especially patriotic or loyal to the democratic system of government as it operates in this country, but I do acknowledge when something so sacrosanct is violated.

I don’t want to spend time getting into this. If you’re old enough to find this blog post you’re old enough to know what happen. I hadn’t intended for that to be what I wanted to talk about anyway.

Where I left off last week, I wanted to announce my intention of making a video on Shaman King.

There are a number of hurdles—some might even dare to call them issues—with this idea. I’m not a reviewer. I don’t have any video editing experience. I don’t have a platform of great enough scale to protect my work. And, for the nature of what I intend to write, I may not even have enough time to get it out before the series drops in April.

So why bother?

Because I love the series. For years, it almost never came up in conversation, but when it did, I was pumped up with the nostalgia I had while reading it. I didn’t know where this excitement came from for years.

It’s a good manga. Not the best that there ever was, but yet I inexplicably loved it. And I didn’t really know why. But when I was asked what my favorite manga of all time was my answer would be Shaman King.

When I heard the anime was getting a re-release and when I heard they were going to re-publish the manga in full this time, I was ecstatic. I told my friend about it and, being the type of person who’s typically late regarding news related to anime releases, they already knew.

Then, I saw the articles. And my heart ached.

Read my article about how Shaman King is pulling a Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood.

Read my article about ten characters that will be in this anime that weren’t in the original.

Read about whether or not this character is okay for woke 2021.

And I my stomach sinks when I think about what will be coming next.

Theories made by people who read the series and are reciting spoilers for clicks.

Essays on why Hao is the greatest anime villain of all time for clicks.

Speculation on whether or not Yoh can beat Goku in a fight.

I don’t have a very high opinion of journalism. And knowing that the series I love will be used and disposed of for quick clicks is upsetting to me.

In deciding to do this project, I put it all together. I realized why I loved this series.

When I drew as a youngster, Shaman King’s stab-your-eye-out-on-my-protagonist’s-edges art was my early influence for character design.

Every story I’ve come up with—whether or not it’s been continued, recycled into another idea, or wholly abandoned—has had themes of spirituality that I’d only seen present in Shaman King as a child watching it on the FoxBox.

It was my exposure to the reality that manga and anime don’t always coincide; I hadn’t watched FMA or FMAB yet.

I used to record the Saturday morning cartoons and watch them with my grandmother, and while for years I’d hop between Fox, the WB, and ABC recording cartoons so that we’d watch things like Lilo and Stitch, Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, the Proud Family, Xiaolin Showdown, Coconut Fred, Ultimate Muscle, Johnny Test, Mucha Lucha, Jackie Chan Adventures, even One Piece—to name what I could from the top of my head, these shows didn’t all run on these channels in the same breadth of time—I’d skip over Shaman King, keeping it selfishly to myself like a child would.

This week, it hurt watching a bunch of redneck monsters trample over the Capitol. As someone cynical of the government, it hurt to know something so sacrosanct could be treated so shamefully. But it hurts so much worse to imagine that I wasted all these years, like a boy concealing his affection for a girl until she falls into the arms of someone else, to actually take the time and express the love I have for this series.

The image of this post is an issue of Jump a buddy of mine bought at a thrift store or yard sale and gave me almost three years ago. I posted the picture with a long blurb about how my week feeling on Facebook. A lot of it is auxiliary, but I’d like to recount what I wrote here.

Spoiler alert, I was feeling a little pretentious that day:

 “Vigor. Even writing this feels more cumbersome than it actually is.

How do I say what I mean? I hate nostalgia. It’s true, if hyperbolic. I see it cut down so many peers, creatives, and critics like a guillotine; a sloppy, artificially guided, swift force that lops their heads into a collective basket of thought.

Still, this past week I’ve felt my own dismissive chest opened with a more surgical precision that permissed” [NOT A WORD] “nostalgia to play with my heart strings. I reflected on Avatar, a show from a time when animated shows didn’t have their runtimes bisected for the simpler consumption of children that would choke on anything longer, that powered itself on the labor and inspired vision of its creators and crew as opposed to memes for the children and references for the adults, and had the temerity to demand that an audience be comfortable going thirty minutes at a time without a joke to amuse them.

My friend went to Pennsylvania and got me an issue of the now defunct Shonen Jump magazine from 2004. It had series of comics I’d forgotten about and an ad for Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man 2, but those were inconsequential. I find Shaman King to be the greatest comic I’ve ever read and in August, the month of the issue I’d received, the protagonist was featured prominently on the cover. I remembered how engrossing it was to read something with that level of complexity; taking into account my age. And never since have I seen a series with such a great balance of brutality and humor and never since have I seen any form of media where” [REDACTED FOR SPOILERS] “led to a happy ending.

To round it off, within the hours before writing this I’d watched Feel Good Inc. I couldn’t help but feel my eyes begin to water at the genius of Damon Albarn and Jamie Hewlett. An unforgettable song latticed with moments of haunting beauty and brilliance.

As a child I would sit down for hours to draw terribly. And I loved every warped, misshapen, humanoid, tailed thing I drew. I’d scan my grandmother’s cookbooks and write recipes by mending foods I liked together in a manner similar to Frankenstein assembling his monster. I wrote chapter after chapter of a terrible story because I wanted to prove to my first girlfriend that I could write something better than twilight. I had a sense of self-motivation. I hadn’t struggled through college for a year to graduate without confidence in my own abilities. Or lost friends to unfair circumstances beyond my control or the ignorance of how much control I had. Or been stressed to the point of genuine fear from some of my earlier work. In many ways I still feel like the child I was when I lived at my grandmother’s house. Except now as a child too anxious to do anything besides what he knows will keep him alive.

How do I say what I mean? Not well. That, too, may have been a bit too hyperbolic. It’s not that I hate nostalgia, but that I fear being stagnated in memories of better days. Still, like a failing vegetarian having a hamburger the time I’ve taken to indulge myself has let me realize something I’ve been missing from my diet.

Vigor.”

#writer #author #writerblr #blog #shaman king #vigor

[gustafsnightangel]

Shattered Lives Ch 2

Thank god it was Friday she thought as she dropped the boys at school and Lily at daycare. The weekend was just as hectic but not as much. At least she could breathe a little and get some reading in for depositions.

Gustaf was on her mind at work. That wasn’t going to fly she thought. He couldn’t be on her mind, there was nothing for him to be on her mind about. He simply helped you with your shopping and cleaned your floor she thought. She was blowing it all out of proportion.

With the day done she picked up the kids and headed home. As she stepped off the elevator tired and mentally beat up after a long day she saw a package at the door.

“Bring it inside Brendan.” She said turning the key in the lock and wondered who it was from. She didn’t remember ordering anything.

Lily was asleep against her and the boys rushed past whooping for the weekend. Lily stirred and Sildie wanted to scream at the boys. Instead she ground her teeth together and remained calm. Brendan set the package on the counter and went to his room. He was the quiet one and at twelve grieved differently.

“Brendan?” She called softly as she shut the door and locked it. The kid stopped dead. “I appreciate you helping out. I know it’s difficult, and I know I’m not the best at this, but you helping out. It means a lot and I appreciate it.”

His face lit up with a small smile. Not much made the boy smile now days she thought. He’d taken the role of his father seriously. He was the man of the house.

He helped with Lily, helped with dishes, helped any way he could. She also knew that he would be thirteen in a few months and that would all change with hormones and puberty. God help her she wasn’t cut out for this.

With Lily down and the boys in their rooms for quiet time she stood at the counter and stared at the package. She wasn’t expecting anything. She plucked the card off and opened it.

Sildy,

I hope I spelled that correctly. It was nice meeting you yesterday and I’m sorry I couldn’t stay longer for tea. I wasn’t late by the way. Dinner was saved. I’m out of town for the next few weeks on business but would love to see you for that tea when I get back.

I hope this makes your next few evenings a little easier.

G

She read it over and over again. No, he hadn’t spelled it right but she found it sweet that he’d even tried. Peeking in the bag she started to pullout jars of pasta sauce, noodles, everything she needed for at least four meals.

There was a sweetness about him, and it touched her so deeply that he would bother with such a gift that she couldn’t help the choked sob that escaped. It had been a rough week, a rough five months, and she couldn’t hold it back.

“Ama, you ok?” Brendan asked coming in for a snack.

“I’ll be ok B. Just a rough week and everything is catching up to me.” She pulled him in for a hug and let the tears fall.

“What’s all this?” He looked at the pasta sauce and stuck his nose in the bag.

“The man next door that helped me yesterday decided to surprise us with all this for dinner.” She said wistfully and smiled wiping the tears away as quickly as they came. They hit her at the oddest times.

“Why?” Brendan asked not quite understanding.

“I think he saw we’d had a rough day yesterday and decided to do something nice.” Was it more than that she wondered?

“Should we ask him over for dinner?” He asked with an enthusiasm that took her by surprise.

“We could but he’s away on business for the next few weeks.” She watched his face fall and she gave him a one armed hug of understanding.

“Oh.” He sounded a little disappointed.

“There’s always a next time kiddo.” She ruffled his hair and pulled him into a rib cracking hug.

“Can I help?”

“You want pasta tonight?” She asked.

“Yeah.” He grinned.

“Ok then master chef, have at it” she smiled and let him get to it. The kid loved to help in the kitchen.

They sat around the table and ate as a family. A dysfunctional one, but a family. Lily was five months old, the boys had semi settled in at school, and she had finally been able to get her career back on track. Juggling four kids and a career was never something she’d planned for.

The next few weeks went by in a furious blur that she forgot about Gustaf. There was too much other shit to contend with. Life had sucked her into its vortex with no consideration of spitting her back out anytime soon.

She came home one evening exhausted and at her wits end to a sticky note on her door that simply said

Tea?

A smile bloomed across her face. He was back and so were the butterflies in her tummy. It’s just tea she reminded herself. It would only ever be tea, she said to herself and took a calming breath.

Maybe once the kids were asleep she could invite him over. She chewed on her bottom lip as she got the kids inside debating with herself, weighing every option.

She wanted to tread carefully, get to know him before introducing him to the kids, just in case. Hollywood Star or not she had to be careful for their sake, careful despite her own personal desire for him to just fuck her blind.

She plucked up the courage and went and knocked on his door. She only hesitated three or four times before actually knocking. There was no answer so she left a sticky note of her own.

After 9pm?

She went inside and got on with the evening routine. If it was meant to happen it would.

With the kids asleep she sat at the table and started on depositions and getting her arguments together for Monday. It was the only time she really got to read and soak it all in. She was so engrossed in what she was doing she almost missed the quiet knock at the door and it startled her back to reality. She looked at the time and it was well after ten.

“Shit!” She whispered and shot out of her seat. Remembering her sticky note on Gustaf’s door she hurried to open it.

He stood in black jeans and a white V neck T shirt and she had to consciously check the groan of arousal that shot to her core. Those collarbones, that neck. Did he realize what that did to a woman? He didn’t have to be in a tux to make her week at the knees.

“Hi. Still up for tea or am I too late?” Knowing it was much later than her note. “I’ll understand if I’m too late, I got held up with work stuff.”

“Hi, no you’re fine, I’m still up working.” She said quietly and chewed her bottom lip, he made her nervous and he knew it. “Come on in.” She could sense it.

She held the door open for him as she stepped inside and had to breathe out slowly to level out her racing heart.

“It’s so quiet.” He chuckled and noticed she was still in her suit from the day at work. The woman never stopped.

She had shucked the jacket and heels but the slightly see through blouse had him nearly groaning. He saw the faint shadow of black lace beneath the cream shirt and wanted to peel it from her. The skirt she was wearing accentuated her hips and thighs and only made him want to touch her. His eyes devoured her since his hands couldn’t.

“Yeah it’s the only quiet time I get.” She said and offered him a seat at the table.

She put the kettle on to boil and started to clear away her work. She had to keep her hands busy and focused off the sexual desire she felt for him.

“Don’t stop or clean on my account. I came to see you not....”

“I have to anyway, attorney client privilege.” She said cutting him off and kept stacking the work at the end of the table. “It’s fine I have to clear it for breakfast anyway.”

“You’re a lawyer?” His eyebrow shot up in surprise. He would never have picked it.

“Civil rights attorney.” She shrugged, not many found that interesting. “It’s a defamation case. Long and tedious. Lots of reading. Lots of writing. Not that interesting.”

“I find it interesting.” He said and he saw the hesitation in her hands. His smile was brief and to himself, I find you interesting is what he was trying to say.

“You’re in for some very dry conversation then.” She said smiling and he chuckled in that low sexy tone that made her melt.

Smart and sexy he thought. He liked a woman with brains and a sharp mind. It made for interesting conversation and above all made him think. He liked a woman that made him think.

She left the stack of papers and turned off the kettle just before it broke into song.

“That’s a lot to juggle with four kids.” He said clearly impressed.

“It’s insane to tell you the truth.” She filled the teapot and picked it up carefully.

“No doubt, I don’t know how you do it.” He watched her as she moved, that lithe body he itched to get his hands on.

“With a shit load of tea and endless patients I don’t have.” She smiled and set the teapot on the table to steep. “Oh and cuss words.” She added laughing. “Lots of cuss words.” She moved back to the kitchen to fetch the teacups. “Usually in my head but they’re there being screamed all the same.”

“And not a lot of sleep I’d imagine.” He saw the shadow of dark circles under her eyes and knew it was more than just a lack of sleep.

“I get about four to six hours a night. That’s considered a sleep in.” She said sitting across from him.

“Sounds like location shoots.” He said with a wince. “Brutal but without the children.” He shrugged. “Most of the time. You sleep when you can.”

She laughed and that was what he was after. If he could make her laugh and be at ease he figured he might be in with a shot.

“So what are you workin on?” She asked as she poured the tea and noticed he wasn’t really comfortable with the question. “Sorry, You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I’m sure you get asked that enough.” She shook her head. He made her on edge and it rattled her to where the awkwardness kicked in and she said stupid shit or whatever her mouth decided to blurt out without her brains permission and redaction first.

“No I’ll tell you.” He smiled. “I’m just amazed.” He said looking at those pretty eyes that had stolen his breath.

“At what?” She asked warily.

“That you clearly know who I am and what I do but I’m just a normal person to you.” He said dumbfounded, he had finally found normal and craved it. Craved it like his next breath.

“Well you are a normal person, with an extraordinary career. You’re my neighbor. A fellow human. Equality regardless of status and station. Sorry that’s the lawyer talking.” She sipped her tea clamming up because she was awkward as fuck around him.

“You’re correct though, lawyer talking or not.” He said and looked at her. He could see she was nervous around him. Sensed the awkwardness. “It’s nice to sit and be normal. Have a normal conversation.”

“You’re a normal person that sends pasta sauce to his neighbor to make her life easier. That’s not the lawyer talking.” She said quietly and gripped her teacup. That night was something special to her and he needed to know that. Acts of kindness went a long way with her. They didn’t have to be big and splashy and showy to prove something. They just needed to be sincere.

“Thanks for that by the way Brendan was in master chef heaven and I didn’t have to think about what would end up on the table for dinner. It was a relatively stress free night.”

His smile told her this sort of thing made him uneasy. He didn’t like compliments when they were personal in nature.

“And I’m embarrassing you.” She said. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to. I’ve not had many people do what you did.”

“I wanted to do something nice for you.” He mumbled and shrugged as he took a sip of his tea. “No big deal.”

She studied him for a moment.

She played with the tea strainer to do something with her fingers and think before speaking.

“You know I had the shittiest day in court that day and came home with cranky kids and I was just exhausted. There by the door was a bag with pasta enough for four meals. You cannot begin to understand what that meant. It may not have been a big deal to you, just groceries, but it was for us.” His gaze found hers now and she felt the hard jolt.

Shit she thought. She was way in over her head with him. She wanted to make something of this but couldn’t. Not with the kids in the other room and she barely knew the guy. But she wanted it. Her body all but screamed for it, for him.

“Brendan started cooking as soon as he saw everything.” She said and dropped her gaze. If she stared at him any longer she would do something that neither of them were ready for and something she’d regret.

“He wanted to invite you over for dinner.” She added and a smile ghosted her lips. “It’s the first time I’ve seen him smile in...” she stopped mid thought and shook her head, that smile falling away.

“Had I been in town I would have gladly had dinner with you and the kids.” He said and could see it made her tense. He left the kids smile out of it as it clearly was something she’d let slip. Time, he thought. She needed time to process whatever it was going on in her life.

“If that’s something you want to do at a later date I’m ok with it, I understand if you don’t.”

“It’s complicated.” She said.

“I figured it would be.” He nodded and gave her a smile that said he understood. “When the time is right, I’d like to meet them. They seem like great kids.”

Her head shot up and looked at him. There it is he thought. Mother bear protecting her cubs. Too soon you fucking idiot he cursed himself. Too fucking soon to go there. He saw the lawyer surface and decided that he would leave it alone for the moment.

“We’ll have to see. It’s complicated.” She said again and wanted to talk about anything but that. He nodded and left it alone.

They talked for a few hours about his work, hers, and when he could see she was nearly asleep at the table he thought it was time to go even though he didn’t want to. They hadn’t touched on why she was a single parent and although he wanted to ask he didn’t. It wasn’t his business unless she wanted to make it his business. He respected that, and he was sure not many did.

“Can I ask you something.” He said as she stood in the partially closed doorway.

“Sure.” She said softly and felt her body tingle at how close he was to her. She could smell the scent of him and tried to breathe it in without having it known that was exactly what she was doing. She wanted him to just kiss her and put her out of her misery.

“Can we make this a weekly thing? When I’m in town?” His fingers fidgeted at his side until the urge was too great and he stuffed them in his pockets to keep himself in check.

Her smile lit up his world. “I’d like that.” She said softly.

“I’ll try and make it at nine next time.” He said and felt the urge to kiss her. He banked that feeling. Not yet.

“No problem.”

“Night Sildie. And oh did I spell it correctly?” He asked as he walked to his door. “In the note?”

She chuckled. “No but that’s ok.”

“How do you spell it?” He stopped and turned to look at her.

“Sildie.”

“It’s a beautiful name.” She only just heard it fall from his lips. “Night Sildie get some sleep.” He said opening his door and only glancing at her sideways to not risk making it too awkward by looking straight at her.

“You too.” She said and closed her door.

Leaning her forehead in the door she couldn’t stop the grin. She was sure he liked her but was stepping carefully because of the kids. She appreciated that. They had to be ok with it too, and that was a whole other clusterfuck she wasn’t ready to deal with.

But she was getting way ahead of herself. Even if it was just a friendship at least she could still see him and then fantasize later. For the first time in six months she felt happy to have moved back home to Sweden.

He’d have to take a cold shower before bed or do the deed himself. Damn he thought as he leaned back against his front door. The woman was stunning, smart, and those eyes he thought. Ice blue, so pale, yet so incredibly beautiful. If he stared into them too much he’d go under.

It was her mind that amazed him. She was wicked smart to get where she was. After ten years in the USA, four years in England, she had landed back home and into one of the top firms in the country. That and raising four kids on her own was mind blowing.

It also screamed don’t fuck with me without her actually having to say it. She wasn’t one for bullshit, much like himself. He’d picked that up the first day he’d met her. She had tolerance and patience but don’t push it and don’t fuck with her or the kids. She didn’t have to say it, it was implied as you walked in her home.

He had to let her lead for the moment. She had way more to lose than he did.

#gustaf skarsgard #all the feels #Shattered Lives Ch 2

[contra-dic-tion]

( Marie Avgeropoulos, Thirty-two, Female, She/Her ) Was that Echo? I heard a rumor they work for the O’Shea family, but who knows for sure ? They can be a bit Hostile & Vicious, but I also heard they can be Calculating & Dependable. You’ll usually find them at Skyfall in their spare time, when they’re not being an BoneBreaker. You may want to keep an eye on that one ! 

Name: REDACTED

Goes By: Echo

Age: Thirty-Two

Birthday: September 6th

Birthplace: Victoria, British Colombia

Gender: Female

Orientation: Bisexual

Affiliated with: O’Shea’s

Occupation: Ex-Canadian Marine, Bonebreaker

For the most part, Echo’s childhood was fairly normal. She was born into a Military family with one other brother and a younger sister. Her father was a Marine and her mother was in the Navy. She knew from a very young age that she was going to follow in her parents footsteps. They didn’t ever force her but did encourage her to go into the Canadian forces as it was a long standing family tradition. One that her and her other siblings kept alive. As soon as she could decide for herself what she wanted to do, she hit the ground running with her military training. Which included getting a head start by going to a boarding school run by the military. The school was mostly for youth who needed structure but they allowed Echo a spot because of her families background. Because of this head start she finished her basic training by the time she was Eighteen and actually enlisted. Form there her formal training began. She wanted to be a Marine more than anything. Following her fathers footsteps was her dream form a young age and nothing was going to stop her. Echo was quickly picked out as being driven, stubborn, fast-learning and leadership material. It took her two tries to pass her qualifiers to get into the Canadian Marines but she did get in. It was then that her life really began. Or at least that’s what she’d tell you if you asked her.

Her first tour was in Iraq. There in the heat of battle, Echo got her first taste of what real work was like. What war was like. She knew it was probably not good to enjoy it so much but she did. Not only that but she thriver, no, excelled, in an unrelenting and merciless environment. Yes, at the start of everything losing friends and mentors was hard but over time, Echo learnt not to attache herself to anyone. She allowed pleasantries but never close ties. Especially when she started to make her way up through the ranks while on the front lines.

Things escalated quickly as most wars do and Echo spent the next nine nears of her life in Iraq with a few gaps for leave. Although she was never gone for more then a month at a time. While on leave she found herself restless, and out of sorts without a fight to attack. She realized quickly that nothing about being away from base appealed to her and that war was becoming her home.

People came and went all of the time. They replaced squads and moved them around without much explanation sometimes and for that reason Echo has met a lot of people in her time. Some she got along with and others she hated. However, when Echo finally got her own Platoon to look after, things changed. Her birth name was written out of history and from the day she became a General Major, she was known as Echo. Her second in command was Tango and Bravo rounded out her chain of command. She was never put down by her men or made to prove herself because she was a woman. All those below her knew that she was leading them for a good goddamn reason. She had earned it.

Things got more interesting for Echo over time as more Militaries from around the world began to mix with each other and work together. Her involvement with the USA military ate a good portion of her third tour in Iraq. She lead some of them, and was lead by some of them. In her mind they were, in reality all the same. This was war, after all. If you were with them than great, if not-

Echo’s military history is long and sorted. Her stories range from the insane to months of nothing but drills and target practice. She would have stayed in the Canadian Marines till the day she died if she hadn’t been Honourably discharged after a particularly brutal event. One that left her diagnosed with PTSD and unable to serve any longer. Going back home, however, wasn’t something Echo was interested in. Two weeks into being back in Canada, and she was going crazy from sheer boredom. Two months in, she was ready to kill herself just to get out. Two years away from war and Echo found a new one to fight.

It started with a call that her father had been killed in action. The news was horribly hard to grasp but she did grasp it. If there was one thing Echo was familiar with it was the weight of death. She went home to Victoria to help her mother clear out some of her fathers things when she came across some old letters between her father and a man named Mason O’Shea. She went through them in detail and found that her father had been smuggling military grade weapons across the boarder for Mason O’Shea’s gang down in Chicago for years. Not only that but Mason had bailed her father out years ago when he’d come under investigation for these crimes. That bail out had gone un-repaid.

Gathering all that Echo could find on the O’Shea’s she took to tracking down Mason. Who was also dead by the time she found out how to contact him. Thankfully, she did find enough information on Richard O’Shea, the new leader of the gang, to contact him. She sent a letter as well as all the exchanges between there fathers that she could find and explained that she wished to clear her fathers dealt with work. It was sudden but within a week, Echo moved down to Chicago to start her new role as Bonebreaker with the O’Shea gang.

#echo #history

[mercemerry]

     ( maya hawke, trans female, she/her, fire emblem: three houses ) * &. i know it must be scary for you, leonie pinelli, after surviving the takeover. to turn into someone like leighanne “leigh” phillips, a twenty-five year-old pool lifeguard at the delmare & student at castle town university, right here in castle town. just remember that you are as honest as you are competitive, and to be wary, be safe, be true to who you are : neutral through and through. ( hywia )

      hey howdy hey what’s UP my DEERS ( please don’t murk me ) i’m back with . . . hopefully my last character for a while ?? i don’t really have any plans for anyone else as of Yet - leonie is a character i,,, absolutely adore but never thought i’d pick up in the beginning but holy HELL i love her and i’m so excited to write her and i’m here to defend her from all slander. click for more abt her under the cut !!

BEFORE THE SNAP  /  L E O N I E  P I N E L L I .

soooOOOOO. okay. in FE3H , Leonie is a student of the Golden Deer house/class and like a few of the other students , she’s a commoner instead of a noble. and right off the bat you find out one thing - that she’s an apprentice of Byleth’s father , Jeralt , and he’s her hero and she idolizes him.

this !! was from an instance where Jeralt stopped by her little hunting village and rescued the people of her village from poachers ; he basically taught Leonie a few things she knows , and she referred to herself as his apprentice since. 

it was because of him that Leonie knew what she wanted to do - she wanted to be mercenary , especially one that could succeed the man she idolized.

so flash forward to years later at Garreg Mach’s Officers Academy - Leonie got in through her entire village basically paying for her to go , and for that she baaaasically accumulated a lot of debt from it. she’s really frugal with her money because of this. but turns out !! jeralt’s there , and he brings his kid , byleth , with him , and leonie sort of forms a one-sided rivalry with them since they’re pretty much the next-gen and Leonie wants to prove she’s on-par with them , if not better , because they’re pretty much Jeralt 2.0 in terms of fighting premise and that was Leonie’s goal.

eventually , though , this rivalry turns into Leonie being attached to Byleth through mutual grieving once ( spoiler alert ) Jeralt bites the dust , as well as Leonie making a promise to Jeralt that she’d watch over Byleth if anything happened to him - essentially , filling Jeralt’s role , but not in the exact way she expected.

a few cool things !! leonie is really skilled in hunting & fighting - she makes a very good cavalry unit with skills in lance & archery - i’m setting her up to be my bow knight on my current playthrough - and holy hell she has a LOT she can boast about. she’s just a really good unit and could probably level a battlefield by herself with minimal grinding in-game.

her personality is very honest & truthful , but blunt in a sense that more often than not , even if the situation doesn’t call for it , she WILL speak her mind and give brutal honesty if she believes in it. sometimes , she’ll immediately say what she’s thinking , even if it’s here jumping to conclusions or snapping impulsively. i... honestly really adore that about her , since it’s not very similar to me , but i kinda wish i had her bravery in that sense.

but hOLY HELL is she determined & hardworking and she’s actually a pretty cool person - she’s what i call a chaotic lawful because she’s,,,, a subtle kind of chaotic that still has her own code. she’s also REALLY GOOD at managing her time & money and kind of sees every single opportunity she has to train and work hard and yeah leonie is no fucking slouch and we gotta stan that.

she’s one of the gd members who regularly says ‘fuck’ but also ‘watch your fucking language’ if, like, lysithea or sb swears. the one who probably contributes to as many chaotic fuckshit shenanigans as she tries to fix.

anyways i’m gay and i am sOOOOO excited to write her !! i’m not exactly dECIDED yet in what path i want to pull her from out of either verdant wind or crimson flower , since i love leonie staying with the deer and can’t really see her wanting to ally with the people who killed her mentor ( twsitd , who worked with the empire briefly ) but also a timeline where she follows byleth and fulfills her promise to jeralt - who was also extremely suspicious of the church. it’s INTERESTING and i haven’t figured it out yet.

also she’s a chaotic bi bc i’m a chaotic bi that loves to project.

also okay i just also wanna say pls no. ‘leonie wanted to [REDACTED] ur dad’ jokes they kinda,,, sorta,,, make me rly uncomfortable esp since leonie sees jeralt as pm her mentor and Nothing More so if u could just refrain from tht i would b !! grateful.

AFTER THE SNAP  /  L E I G H  P H I L L I P S .

okay soooOOOOOOO. trigger warnings here for parental death & murder. 

so she survived the takeover , and remembers all of the events of her past life , but . . . leigh phillips did not have a good time here in castle town.

she grew up firstly with a family who wasn’t doing so well - they were happy , certainly , but they lived in a bad part of delaware & it wasn’t the best scenario because there were a lot of times leigh went without basic needs. but they made it , it was okay.

thought things really changed when leigh was a teenager , just shy of sixteen years old when her parents were murdered during a home invasion & she was the only survivor.

still a minor - scared & alone - she was taken in by a family friend and her husband who were perhaps waaaay more well-off than she was. this essentially was a tragic rags-to-riches story , where a girl who had nothing lost everything she had , but was taken in by a loving home that gave her everything she ever wanted.

and in castle town , that sorta-kinda was her reputation. she was coddled & cared for by her foster parents and didn’t really have to do anything to support herself - she got a job at the local rich people hotel as a lifeguard , but she didn’t need it. she had a full ride in college paid for by her foster family & anything she asked for. 

THEN SHE WAKES UP.

wakes up as in , she wakes up with this new past & life in castle town and the thing is . . . leonie ?? isn’t a fan of living the rich kid life. isn’t a fan of not having to work. isn’t a fan of allowing herself to be coddled & protected & sheltered and basically have everything served to her on a silver platter.

she finds out how this happened and while she doesn’t condemn the people who took her in - because they are good people - she starts defying it in any other way. she starts working odd jobs at other places and saving any penny she gets. and this is weird , because everyone else in castle town knows her as this spoiled rich girl who would get all of the best things she wanted and now ?? she wants to live on her own ?? support herself ?? she’s shopping at walmart and the thrift store ??

hell yeah.

leigh’s whole mission is to pretty much break away from that reputation that was created for her in this fake life ; and that , in turn , basically has her trying to morph back into one more like home. she currently is living by herself , but is still employed at the delmare since , yeah , it’s a job , and any job will do. but she doesn’t really want to rely on her foster parents anymore for support , since they did a lot for her but she doesn’t like the idea of overstaying her welcome.

so it’s sorta-kinda a case of leigh is acting . . . VERY DIFFERENT from how she would prior to her realizing she’s actually leonie pinelli from fodlan and not someone else. so it’s gonna be a reALLY interesting dynamic to play and i’m so so SO excited for it.

anyways !! i’m gonna be heading to bed , but tomorrow i’ll be back for plotting & stuff  and will do some replies/starters and maybe even some wcs to get the ball rolling for my girl !! love y’all xoxo

#castletown.intro #abt tag tbd #death tw #parental death tw #murder tw #if i missed anything lmk !!

[curespectra]

Soul Strikers Precure: Meet the Cast

Here's a proper introduction to the first character introduced in this story. The dimension displaced body swap victim: Arya

Full Name: Arya Sonata Pendragon

Species: Human/Dragon hybrid 

Alias: Cure Specter 

Home Dimension: Magix Earth 

Height: 5ft 4 and a half 

Theme Color: Royal Blue 

Element: Magic 

Symbol: Witch Star Symbol ( what her homeworld calls the symbol, known to us as a pentagram)

Family Members: Atticus (grandfather), Nami (mother), Arvis (father), [redacted], ([redacted])

Personality:

Being raised by her grandfather to have a "proper moral compass" (by her homeworld's standards) Arya is the type of person who treats others with respect and loyalty. The thing is, her form of expressing these traits are rather..... odd to the residents of Earth Prime (Spirou's Earth). For she displays it as if she was a knight from a fictional story (she calls herself a "knightly gentlelady".) Calling others Milord/Milady and pledging her own life and loyalty to said person.

But despite all of this, she is not somebody who has that much experience in having people who like her, much less respect her.

She is a hybrid of a human mage(mother) and a dragon (her father), so she's bullied by prejudiced high class families and many others because of her "tainted" heritage.

Things could have been worse for her if her grandfather wasn't a well respected man and veteran hero. But even so, they still treat her like a delinquent child.

As a result she has a deep desire to have friends. If one decides to befriend Arya... she's your loyal best friend for life and beyond(she would outright declare "You have a precious soul, you deserve to be loved and protected at all cost. So I have made my decision... LET ME BE YOUR KNIGHT AND COMPANION"). Resulting in Arya having an undying desire to protect her "greatest treasures" (Which includes her willingness to outright hurt, traumatize, or straight up SLAY those who she sees are cruel souls that have caused her friends to suffer because of their actions)

Despite presenting herself as a someone with a mischievous personality, knows how strong she is, won't waver in a battle, who has pride in her skills as a Precure who does her best to uphold her family's legacy.... she has extremely POOR self esteem. With the combination of her knightly personality, years of prejudice, and lack of experience in people being nice to her that aren't family members. It results in Arya viewing herself as a person who is of lesser value than a human because of her status as a hybrid. Making her desire to befriend her new teammates all the more greater. She sincerely hopes that they can stay in touch after the mission is over.

Skills and Strengths:

Her combat style is a combination of acrobatics that can be interpreted as "dance fighting" and intense brutality in which she increases her impact on the enemy by engulfing her punches and kicks with her own raw magic, as well as using energy blasts.

Her knowledge of controlling magic makes her a formidable opponent as well as a teacher for her less experienced teammates if her grandfather isn't available.

Being a Precure that fought solo for a bit longer than most beginners gives her a leg up over her newfound team

Her ability to see into a person's Soul allows her to see the current nature it presents and later on be able to see their true nature. As well as give a person a proper "reason why you suck speech" to get them to realize what they are doing to themselves and others.

Being half dragon also allows her to partially transform her body. Giving her horns, draconic wings, a tail, and the ability to breathe fire. Which she mostly uses for flight, rarely in combat.

Weaknesses:

Switching bodies with a full human comes with consequences (some she already had yet amplified, and a couple of new ones)

Same Soul Wrong Body: Since she swapped bodies with a human the body isn't able to handle the way she usually uses her powers. Which results in Arya's transformed state to be a risk to the immune system. Every time the transformation is undone she ends up getting a feaver. She constantly apologizes for this. She just doesn't want to be dead weight.

This is eventually is fixed with a morph device reminiscent of Power Rangers/Super Sentai. As well as having to constantly wear "Training Bracelets" that act as power inhibitors.... which embarrasses her to no end (ironically enough they look like normal bracelets)

"Grandpa.... please don't make me wear those again! Training Bracelets are for unexperianced kindergarteners. I'm not in kindergarten anymore!"

"Sorry kiddo but if you don't want to continue to constantly get fevers after battle, this is a necessary step to prevent overexertion."

"Fine... but I'm still not happy about this."

2. Body temperature: Not used to a human's natural body heat means only one thing: Arya constantly feels cold. Which results in her wearing oversized hoodies just to regain a sense of normalcy. As well as thriving in boiling temperatures. She has also messed with thermostats to near heatwave levels despite others getting overwhelmed by the heat. But when the hoodie isn't available... she gets sleepy, acts childish, and she gets clingy. Nobody's safe from becoming her human heater.

"Arya, please let me go. I have to get going."

*in a childish yet kinda cute tone* "Please don't leave me..... I hate being alone more than feeling cold..." *falls asleep*

3. Insecurity: Even after establishing bonds with her teammates, Arya still is full of self doubt. Fearing that one day they'll see the abomination she truly is and then they shun her. The innate desire she has for pleasing others also does not help matters. Which leaves her as someone who can be exploited by others easily.... civilians or villains....

4.Fish Out of Water: Arya being from a different Dimension results in her misinterpretations of Earth Prime's nature and customs. As well as weirding out the people around her saying things like:

"The Mana is barely used in this Dimension....if ever at all."

"You mean to tell me that you can't understand what your animal companions are trying to tell you?"

"What's a dinosaur? Are they your equivalent to dragons?"

She also is willing to ask afterwards if she ever does something unusual for the Dimension's norms:

"Did I do something wrong?"

"Um... I'm super confused right now..... help?"

#Soul Strikers Precure #Meet the cast #Arya alias Cure Specter #my oc art #precure oc #spirou au #precure crossover #character page