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esamastation · 6 months

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Part fifty-six of Shizuroth, aka, the SOLDIER General's Self Saving Shizun.

Ao3 link.

Previous parts: forty-seven forty-eight, forty-nine, fifty, fifty-one, fifty-two, fifty-three, fifty-four, fifty-five

Sephiroth knows he's on borrowed time. He bought it, accidentally, with his Qi-deviation… but it's been well over a week since then, without any other deviations. Instead he has had other more interesting developments… and the timer never stopped ticking.

For over a week he's been fine - for over a week he's been doing… pretty much nothing but training. Which in PIDW wouldn't have been a big deal - things happened slower, developments took time, everyone went into seclusion every now and then, and it was fine. When your life revolves around cultivation, haste is an enemy. Cultivation takes decades - sometimes centuries! You need to take your time with it! Months upon months had passed Shen Qingqiu by without him doing anything but laying and reading, and it had been great!

But he's in a sci-fi fantasy dystopia, in the middle of a war, and he's the Big Bad super SOLDIER hybrid. Something the world seems keen to remind him.

"Tseng of the Turks," his new guard introduces himself in the front of the charcoal burner's house. "I will be taking over for Reno and Rude."

Sephiroth can almost see a clock behind Tseng, ticking down to a deadline. He's just as sharply handsome as the game art made him seem - and even less flexible. Everything about him from his posture up his clothing to the precise lack of expression screams you're wasting the company's time, and mine.

"I know who you are," Sephiroth says, setting his face carefully blank as the vibes around the house just about plummet. "To think I rate such a high level watchman."

"Your wellbeing is of the highest priority to the company," Tseng agrees. "I'm here to ensure your recovery goes by smoothly so that you can return to your duties promptly."

Arching a brow, Sephiroth folds his arms. Well, isn't that a corporate speech if he's ever heard it. "I'm honoured," he says. "Though I thought the highest priority for me was to, what was it… stay here and get my shit together?"

Tseng's expression doesn't even twitch. "According to Reno's and Rude's reports, your shit seems to be held together remarkably well."

… oh? Smiling a little, Sephiroth looks Tseng up and down. "You'd think so, hm?"

Tseng is quiet for a moment before clasping his hands behind his back. "We shall see. For now, you should act as though nothing has changed. Pretend I'm not even here. I won't disturb your training."

"I don't think I can," Sephiroth muses, testing the waters. "Your very presence is disturbing."

Not even a twitch of an eye lash. "Are you disturbed now?"

Oh, what a bitch! Sephiroth likes him already. "I guess we shall see, at that. Now, where is Angeal?" he glances around, even though he knows Angeal didn't come back with Tseng.

"On a mission, I presume," Tseng says, and Sephiroth casts him a sharp look. Tseng faces him blandly. "Judging by the reports, his presence here was largely unnecessary to your progress. It is an inefficient use of company resources to have two First Class SOLDIERs indefinitely off the clock. He is taking up your missions here in Wutai."

Sephiroth can feel his own expression growing blank. "I didn't agree to that."

"It was assumed you didn't mind," Tseng says calmly. "Seeing as you didn't seem interested in completing your missions yourself, they were simply passed down the chain. To Angeal."

"It would've been nice to have been consulted on that," Sephiroth says firmly.

"Would you have taken on the missions if you'd known?" Tseng asks with the slightest arch of his brows. "Because unless you would have, your opinion had no bearing on the matter going forward. "

… Okay, ouch. "I see," Sephiroth says, his voice growing low. "Will Angeal be returning here once he's done?"

Tseng blinks at him, slowly. "This location isn't near any of the current points of interest in Wutai. That's why it was selected for your use. It's much more practical for Angeal to stay in the town."

Ah. Well, well, if it isn't those company shackles he'd been happily ignoring. Damn. "... So it's just you and me here, huh?" Sephiroth asks unhappily.

"Only until you feel fit to return to taking on missions," Tseng says and then asks, pointedly, "Do you have an estimate on how much longer will your cultivation training take?"

Sephiroth looks at him closely, but it's hard to say what Tseng thinks - or what he knows. The man just looks at him coolly, expectantly. "I suppose that's another thing we will have to see, isn't it?" Sephiroth answers, just to be contrary. "Alright - do you need help finding a room, Tseng of the Turks?"

Tseng considers him for an uncomfortably long time and then says, "I think I can manage. I will set up in the room vacated by Reno, unless you have objections."

"Be my guest," Sephiroth says and then watches as the man heads inside. Then he looks out to the yard - to the training field Angeal had cleared out for him.

It doesn't seem quite as comfortable as before, all of a sudden.

Of course their stay here was always going to be temporary, and Sephiroth hadn't exactly expected them to leave together. It's just that… he'd figured he'd be leaving first, to parts unknown, maybe with Angeal, but probably not. Angeal is still too loyal to the company - honestly, and he might very well stay loyal until the degradation would begin. Which is… something Sephiroth still hadn't figured out a solution for. Beyond a regular Qi-transfer, maybe.

Shit. He'd procrastinated too long, hadn't he? He'd gotten complacent. He always gets complacent.

Now the matter of Genesis and Angeal might be out of his hands. The company is isolating him, for whatever reason, he doesn't even care. It's manipulation, either way. Now Angeal is out there, maybe killing people in his stead, and Sephiroth has no say in the matter. And Sephiroth is alone with no friends to lean on, as the head Turk in command begins prodding him for results.

Great. Wonderful. Such fun.

Closing his eyes briefly, Sephiroth sighs and then looks up at the darkening night sky.

Tick-tock, goes the clock, as time starts running out.

#fanfiction #ff7 #svsss #sephiroth #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #tseng of the turks

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rottenbrainstuff · 3 days

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Calgary fan expo 2024:

(Long post, apologies)

Survived! The last year I was at the artist alley at a fanexpo was I think…. 2019? and I can’t even remember the last year I was at the expo just as a regular attendee, and not as a vendor… must be at least ten years ago by now I think. I had a lot of thoughts yesterday.

But first of all I did want to say, like I said yesterday, Neil Newbon was I think the nicest actor that I’ve ever met at one of these, I really mean that.

The smaller-name actors are always more fun than the bigger names, partly because they tend to not have their heads stuck up their own asses like some of the bigger folks, but also just simply that their lineups are also much much smaller, so you have more time to actually chat with them. (Popular actors can be very much a “hi hello, my name is x, thank you! Bye! situation) All my best memories of getting autographs at cons have been with smaller actors and voice actors and stuff, hands down 100%.

And I’m serious, Neil was the nicest actor I’ve ever met at a con. He is so gracious and polite, humble, and honestly seems to genuinely love interacting with his fans. I had in my head my little lines I wanted to say, so I could make sure I said everything I wanted in the tiny amount of time they allow you to talk to the actor, and then he messed up my little script by wanting to have an actual little chat. We talked about my oldest daughter in Switzerland, and how expensive everything is there, and he said hello to my kids and talked to them a bit, and teased me a little. I said the thing I wanted to, which was to say congratulations for all the accolades and how important BG3 has been to the fans, and he said he appreciates that because the fans are why he does this stuff, truly. Honestly I think he would have chatted even more but I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by then and like that was my cue to leave. What a nice guy though? Dang.

His panel was great as well, British actors are always so interesting because they tend to take acting very academically and professionally, he had a great, smart answer for everything, and so polite even when there were some very nervous people having trouble articulating what they wanted to say. (He also said Larian was an amazing company to work for, and prioritizes their people and their fans over profit, which is so refreshing)

What a lovely dude. I was a fan before but I have to say I think now I’m a little in love.

(btw the one other actor I also really remember talking to and having a great chat with was Tony Todd, who was here like, a million years ago, also such a nice freaking guy, giant goddamned hands, we had a big chat about theater and community theater and stuff.)

Besides that, which was amazing, the whole thing was a bit bittersweet. I had a lot of feelings. I’ve been attending these expos almost since they first began, watching them get bigger and bigger and more exciting. A few years ago the expo chain was bought by an American company and.. the vibe has really changed since then. It’s not all negative, not at all: things feel really well organized now in terms of crowd control, which used to be um. Somewhat of a notorious issue for our expo, to put it mildly. But… the whole feeling of the show has also changed. Like one of my coworkers said, it feels kind of like just going to a big market. I miss the old announcer that used to come on, I miss the silly little extra events they had like the geek speed dating, I miss the Viking village that they used to have out in the front, just… the little things that made it feel less corporate and more like this exciting passionate convention for all the geeky things you like.

I went to the artist alley and was curious to see if I could find some of my old con buddies, people who I had got to know over the years I attended as an artist. I was kind of surprised that I couldn’t find a single one. In fact I only recognized a handful of booths as ones I had seen regularly in the past: it seems the majority are new. In addition, the artist alley seems to be about half the size it was when I was attending. I was hoping to see old friends to be able to ask them how things were going with the show recently with the new management, but I guess the fact that none of them were there kind of speaks for itself.

Again it’s a bit sad, but in a weird way it also makes me feel a bit better, somehow. I miss doing these shows, so much, and I feel so frustrated with myself that I don’t have the energy to keep up with it anymore. This really used to be the absolute hilight of my year, once upon a time. Somehow it’s a little comforting to know that I’m not the only one who couldn’t continue to do it.

It was nice to bring my younger kids, anyways. My oldest used to really enjoy attending the expos, and I’m happy I got to share that with them as well.

I’m proud of myself - due to my anxiety I was waffling quite a bit on whether or not I should even bother going, but I feel generally that I’m happy I got over that and ended up going.

#fanexpo 2024 #Neil Newbon #bg3 #baldur's gate 3

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schfiftytwo · 28 days

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On Spring Vibes

Whoo, so much for trying to be consistent. In my defense (to the void) there is a significant amount of stuff going on at work, and with some of our senior folks leaving for the green pastures of multimillion (tbh at this point its multibillion, damn capitalism working as god intended) dollar firms, the reshuffling, big ticket things, and random fires have a fervor unlike anything I've seen before. Super interesting stuff, thankful that I'm helping out on meaningful things, happy that it's fulfilling, good that some of it is public, all of that blah blah blah, it's busy folks.

But. Let's take back a bit of time and see what's cooking. Today, I want to write about something that I've gabbed with friends and close colleagues about for what has to be years now - my reflections on springtime. Now, this could go any number of ways. I could talk about the weather, I could talk about the new flowers and leaves (and weeds, fuck the weeds man) sprouting up around the neighborhood, people getting more uppity to be outside, etc etc, and yeah I guess that's all relevant for springtime, but not what's on my mind.

The thing that I'm getting at is a bit less concrete - springtime as a vibe. And the vibe I've been most interested in is springtime as a set of realizations, reminders, and feelings unique to this time of year. Why these specific musings?

It's because it's commencement season. For the uninitiated (and really it shouldn't come as a surprise), I have always loved school and the idea of schooling. The pure pursuit of learning, being surrounded by a properly insane mix of brilliance and stupidity, finding your niche, and at base finding what it is that makes you tick inside and outside the classroom stands as one of the great memories and milestones of my life. Indeed, if I wasn't so pressed to, you know, pay bills, I would have dove headfirst into being a professor (shouts to my incredibly lucky classmates who actually did that - god damn you guys, what a life).

Anyway - the consumation of all that effort, all that discovery, the season of commencement, has always been a very special time of year for me (sue me), and usually results in me thinking a bit more wistfully than I usually do. In some ways a lot of the vibe I'm trying to put into words is pure sentiment, excess romanticism. The faces of elation of closing one chapter and opening another, the burst of the pinnacle of youth before the stupendous fall of adulthood, the photographs, the regalia, the pomp and circumstance, the pantomime and pageantry - I simply cannot get enough, and I am lucky that I've been able to enmesh myself in many commencements - both my own, and those of my friends and family.

In another way, and perhaps what is more to the point, the vibe also represents a view toward the unknown - what I mean by realizations, reminders, and feelings. The example that comes to mind is perhaps unique to my line of work, and how it stacks up with that of my colleagues with a different kind of "D" after their name. For us lawyers, commencement (and really the years of law school as a singular experience) is a representation of the next chapter, a start toward the bar, that first job, that first time you get a chance to prove you're a grown up. For me and many of my peers, that all centered around biglaw - becoming corporate sharks, prowling the mean streets of DC, NYC, Chicago, LA, Miami, Austin, Toronto, etc, closing deals, popping off demand letters, standing up in federal court and playing our best unflappable selves (god how insufferable we must have been - but has anything really changed lol). For others, it was about doing justice - defending the little guy, or more often than not going after the bad guy (who also happened to usually be the little guy). Perhaps more noble pursuits, but tinged with that cloying badge of authority, the aura of importance.

The comparison (and I promise I'll get to the point here, dear void), and what more often than not brought me to a point of poignancy, was what I saw both with my peers who decided to do the real doctor thing and devote their lives to saving lives. The MDs in my life are suspiciously plentiful - my very first love from those days when I didn't even know what kind of person I wanted to be is now a prominent attending physician in a hospital that is affiliated with that one famous school in Boston (yeah, that one), and even my peers in my current circles who went the MD route have done exceptionally well for themselves - wait, am I the odd one out? They're helping people and I...well I guess made the rich guys and gals of the world just a bit richer. Fuck.

Anyway. The thrust of their lives is what I'm focused on. Take for instance match day for MDs - the day where medical school kids, after decades of hard work, sweat, tears, boundless insecurity, and constant ironborn perseverance, find out where they will spend the next four years post grad as resident physicians (yes, just like Scrubs or House, but also 1000% not like that). Every school memorializes that day - livestreams of the reveal, interviews with students, countless photos of students, their families, their loved ones, their children (!) in still moments of pure, often tearful joy at this next chapter. I matched in orthopedic surgery at UChicago. I matched in internal medicine at Baylor. I matched in cardiology at Columbia (wink wink to the A+E readers, can't stop won't stop). Even my mother, a physician in her own right, recalls the day she matched - an event she described to me as one of the happiest and scariest days of her life, one that established the start of a long and fulfilling career in the service of others.

Now. Why bring this up? I'm not a doctor (or at least not that kind of doctor), why would I care about what my well-heeled peers get to do? Don't I have better things to do?

Well, that's exactly it, no? Better things to do. I share this because for years, my predictably slime person attitude was all about the flair and spectacle - god damn, I love the forest green of your Harvard divinity loops signifying you're now a hot shit MD. Fuck me, your Stanford overcoat gown with the green inlay makes you look like a fearsome yet benevolent medical wizard, a young Yen Sid with a penchant for healing. That hospital you're going to is legendary, isn't that one super famous doctor there who did this and that. Never did I give a real substantive thought to what that all really meant, once the spectacle wrapped, the gowns and trappings packed away, the photos developed and framed, the memories faded into those clouds in the deep crevasses of our brain.

Why is that? Simple - for me and my closest cadre, none of us had any inkling about the pursuit of helping people. We were excited about being unreasonably compensated in all the right ways, wining and dining, getting suited up to fuck shit up, being young and reckless and meme-worthy but still rocking it. Respectable drive for a young lawyer maybe, but...just tinged with something that I can only describe as a sad shallowness. Not even the promise of pro bono work (which none of us did btw - we were too busy helping rich folks get richer) was enticing enough to convince us otherwise, or even pretend we could enlighten ourselves in a meaningful way.

Tying it up, what is the point here? Did I get lost again?

No, not really. The point is that during this time of emergence, of new beginnings, I am always reminded of what my beginning was, and how...truly fruitless it was in practice. How excited I was to be important, and how quickly I realized how unimportant I was, even amid the trappings and corridors where I knew important things (including important things I did!) were happening. Meanwhile, my peers who went another route, one more noble, whether it was to do justice, or to really help people - to hone their craft, ease suffering, be meaningful, had begun in earnest. Maybe I had a lovely office, incredibly quippy coworkers who I trusted and swore by as a result of deep trauma bonding during shit work weeks (of which there were so, so many lol), maybe I was objectively wealthy, but...

I just...didn't think I'd realize so quickly how little that all meant. How much it affected me, changed me, made me into someone I didn't like, someone my now-wife resented?

What could have been if I had been smarter, more willing to let my talent be in the service of actually deserving people. If I had been brave enough to do something that wasn't solely focused on the flair of it all.

That, dear void, is the point. Why I do what I do now, why I have committed myself to helping others (because yes, I do work for you after all), not only to better myself, but perhaps to convince myself that I can remedy what time I wasted trying to be a shill. Every year, I remind myself that this is why it (work?) matters, why I matter, why this pursuit of mine, my love of what I do day in and day out is and always will be worth it. It has to, after all.

Why would anyone in their right mind be a lawyer if it wasn't truly meaningful?

Springtime vibes indeed. Cheers, folks.

#new post #blog #writing #free write #once a day #introspection #inspiration #meaning #drivel #work life #not quite this american life #springtime #vibe check #doctor but not a doctor

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shinygoku · 3 years

Note

very intrigued to see what you think of Henry!!! ^v^ (character ask!)

Another day, another Big Green! (The others are Piccolo and Thunderbird 2 lmao)

First impression

"Green ver of that one big creepy dude" (Look, when I was Babby I saw a Gordon picture somewhere that minorly spooked me lmao)

Impression now

Ahh, Henry! In some ways, very much like Duck! Green, long nose, popular with the fans and I'm here like Yeah he's a good fixture of the series lol

Ok well, maybe I should disclaim that he's not one of my favourites, which is partly as I guess it's a bit hard to nail down his personality.

His, for lack of a better term, Illness Arc is fascinating and oddly Real for a series about machinery. Something's genuinely amiss with him, but the lack of a clear cause (at least, to the other engines, who presumably don't know he was built from stolen, incomplete plans and the logical issues that would arise from that) and his frequent complaints turn the other characters off wanting to hear about it, thinking he's exaggerating. Then the Welsh Coal stopgap is found! Then the very next story he has a horrible crash but it was a blessing in disguise because then he's rebuilt as a Black 5 and his health issues are gone forever! (ain't we envious of machines now?) Until Lazy Writer Disease sets in Meta-wise, but more on that later.

I think it's safe to say that it's Entry Level RWS Knowledge to know Awdry's frustrations with the character, and it is kind of hilarious how much he tried to write him out, and iirc Henry wound up with the most appearances and 'his' book has 5 stories instead of the uniform 4 for some reason. But it seems it takes further Lazy Corporate Mandates to actually write him out in BwBa which really sucks and is doing such an iconic lad horribly dirty.

Pictured: Henry as seen by Awdry/Mattel, who are about to just shove him out of the story with varying degrees of success.

Well yeah, for me I can't really settle on an opinion because he never seems to have anything solid after the Rebuild. He's kind of the nicer one out of the Terrible Trio, but sometimes he's as bitchy and obnoxious as Gordon without prompting. He seems to be pretty unlucky and sometimes his misfortunes are self inflicted, but they don't commit to this bit. He gets his (in)famous forest, much to Awdry's chagrin, but it does offer a nice gentler side to him. He also seems to be the main Fast Freight engine, particularly more Fish shipments, but this doesn't really inform his character. He all too often feels like a Spare, Green Gordon who's less full of himself (but still gets boughts of Envy and inflated self importance, like Tenders for Henry), and that's a shame because this nebulous lack of anything concrete seems to be why Bad TatMR Writing diagnosed him with Need Welsh Coal again for quite a long time (dunno if that only changed when Mattel/Brenner came in or not). But then the US dub makes him sound like w--dy all-n and that's the worst treatment of all! I kind of understand the temptation to make him the resident worrier but HUUURGHGHH NOT LIKE THAT

So yeah, the better characterization of him needs to strike a good balance of him being ...I guess a Gentle Giant, who enjoys nature and maybe is a smidge prone to bouts of feeling jealous. Maybe catches the engine version of colds more than the others because the early morning runs in the freezing air? I dunno, I'm trying to combine several traits that have been in Henry but never seemed to stick. But done properly, I could really get behind a nice, faceted character like that~

Favourite moment

It feels a bit mean to say, but it's due to the strength of the episode itself with the fantastic visuals, godly music and shocking drama (with a nice bonus of Correct Head Codes!) that put Flying Kipper at the top of this list!

Another part of this ep, is the beginning where the Driver is saying "Don't tell Gordon, but if you pull this nicely, the Fat Controller may let you pull the Express!". Like, that really squeezes my heart, because his driver is rooting for him, the prospect of a better regarded job is floating there, and knowing what eventually happens, it's like... oof! But in a good way.

...Also I think that must have been something Awdry added after deciding not to kill him off because having that bit and for it to all go up in flames would have made children and me extremely upset and he would have been buried under letters of complaint from angry mothers of the time.

Idea for a story

Other than the overly simple and grimdark "he was in fact killed that day" type coma inducers, I suppose the Two Henries theory being explored could offer some interesting interactions.

Like, what if the Henry who rolls back into The Big Station is instantly accepted and in fact, liked more than og Henry? What if the other engines instead couldn't fully relax around him? Were his memories perfect? Too Perfect?

And what would happen if OG Henry were later discovered... (and in what condition?) Dun Dun Dun dododo Dun!

The thing is, it is hard to really explore this because it's innately such a dark, heavy concept. I don't enjoy the 'Authoritarian Hellscape" lameass interpretation by normies. I like my silly workcom on the rails with warm fuzzies and funny antics, thank you very much!

Unpopular opinion

Some of his faces (even before the worsening first inflicted by Magic Railroad) are pretty weird looking! Maybe cause his forehead is so huge and smooth, but maybe just the odd mouth shapes. I like the variety, but they aren’t what I’d call cute... I find myself thinking ‘Moon Face’ looking at him [even with the lack of craters lmao] and oops I think I missed the weirdest grin of all, but here’s a small sample anyway

Favourite relationship

Not a favourite, per say, but some of the more friction-ish interactions he has with Thomas or Percy are pretty funny. With Thomas’ immortal flippant disregard to viaduct safety, Percy retorting that engines with Proper Funnels do, in fact, need scarves, something Henry wouldn’t know about, and that Henry somehow manages to dismiss Bill and Ben, a feat Gordon needs to take notes from. Even the Something in the Air exchange with Thomas, which isn’t really stellar writing just has a funny lame argument vibe.

For some nice Wholesome interaction, Bear is hands down the winner! Easy pick maybe, and it makes me wonder if Bear’s complete absence in the TVS is part of the downward spiral because he’d offer a lot more Plotlines.... hmmm...!

Favourite headcanon

Other than the universal fandom acceptance that He Digs Nature, Baby is the notion I’ve seen a few times that his “fear” of the rain, or what it would do to his paint, isn’t actually why he stopped in the tunnel, and it had more to do with his mechanical failure and/or him having something of a nervous breakdown. He does come across as something of an ass if you take the episode at face value, but there having a secret deeper meaning is way more interesting 👀

#this is TTTE #TTTE Henry #TTTE #Thomas the Tank Engine #Henry the Green Engine #ttte talk #I also mentioned Gordon several times but I won't properly tag him lol

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yanderecandystore · 3 years

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ok ok hear me out hear me out. Yuma becoming obsessed with one of the game’s ( few ) sentient, non-romancable npcs. Like they can think and feel and ( somewhat ) act for themselves but there just isn’t a route for them. Also bonus points of the darling is kinda bratty/prissy, we haven’t see a lot of readers like that. Ily and your writing so much, mwah — ✨ anon

My my, how different!

Welcome in, ✨ Anon! And thank you for enjoying my writing so far.

TW/Tags: I love this concept, although being very different from the norm // some ddlc vibes // I just discovered a new word and I'm so glad it exists! (prissy reader cause I think this would be very fun-) // angsty // trapping, manipulation and gaslighting // every time the gender isn't set, I like to keep it ambiguous, basically making it gender neutral (gender neutral reader) // gender neutral Yuma //

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Just Yuma (lol) [Yandere!A.I OC x A.I!Reader - Headcanon]:

I like to think that a game like Yuma's would be made to entertain the players to at least 5 or so years before the next installment- Which is basically the same as the last with better graphics and switching the main love interest cast.

The games would be made clearly for the sake of fan service and slice of life material- But would be surprisingly more advanced to us than to those who have created the franchise.

Because there is already an estimation of the amount of content and for how long players would play the game, every single character should get at least some bit of highlight- So even npcs that are just there for the sake of ambience and narrative, are treated with a lot of care and given the best a.i the developers could give to make the experience entertaining.

You are just like any other non-dateable npc, except that you have gained a bit of a role in one of the main cast's routes. It wouldn't be a stretch to guess that one of these characters would be Yuma themselves.

You were supposed to be Yuma's love interest, meaning you would have an role as an player's rival- But due to an strict schedule and corporate greed, you have been demoted from having such a big impact, and now you're basically Yuma's best friend who keeps them from committing homicide every five seconds.

It's not exactly a bad role, since you keep having the same dynamic with them from before- Chaotic gremlin is best friends with Paranoid goody two shoes, now with less romantic interactions.

The only mistake by the company was to leave half of the data showcasing this relationship in the game at the release. Basically- Half of the cutscenes and dialogue involving you and Yuma not only being friends but the start of you two dating (the game kinda pairs the couples up if the player fails to date them, or simply shows disinterest in the characters to begin with-) and even some of the things involving you two during the dating phase- Even the potential break-up sequence which could be orchestrated by the player.

Well, could have- Since none of this content is really available or considered official, the only way to access it is by messing the games files.

So in a way, you're already pretty sentient as it is, you act not as a rival but as a somewhat helper into getting the player to get closer to Yuma. I don't know how much you are aware about your own circumstances, or if you even care about the concept of being just an character made for the sake of another-

In the home planet that has created and released the game, players were kinda disappointed with what happened- They preferred the deleted/unused content more than the events and dialogue that was used for you two, so much so that people started shipping you two more than actually being interested in romancing Yuma, especially since they're way too chaotic for most player's taste.

There was an update overhaul being planned to happen where not only the stuff related to you would be changed- But all the other characters and gameplay mechanics would be updated and hopefully make the game better- But ever since your cartridge has been suddenly lost and forgotten on Earth, you were never able to see that update.

Not that you were aware of it to begin with, but still, what a shame. And not only that, your game is basically Glitch Station- Absolutely filed with mods to help the gameplay be "easier" to the original owner of this cartridge. I don't think she even remembers where she has left it.

Still, even when a new save was made you felt a weird sensation of deja vu. The game has started again with a new player playing it and trying to work their way through this broken game.

You didn't understand why all these events felt familiar though, you only felt like it made sense. It was your first year in college, you got ready and made sure to look your best and give your goodbye to your parents-

It felt like this day has happened before, and even if your routine was similar, you felt like this day was supposed to be a big deal- Why does it feel oddly nostalgic?

Why… Why are the floors on your house flowing? Why are there so many empty spaces here and there? You feel like you could potentially fall from your disintegrating house. And your parents, where are they? Why can't you see them? Why can you only hear them saying goodbye back to you from one of the other rooms?

When you open the door to see them- There is nothing there. There is not even a room.

It's a door that leads to nowhere. Just an empty void.

The sensation of dread was starting to creep in yet you thought that it would be uncalled for to overreact. Like you weren't allowed to showcase concern for the odd reality around you.

You walked on foot towards your college, panicking slightly at the people who would fade in and out of existence- Yet you had held yourself from screaming, from showing any sense of vulnerability at the thought that maybe you were in a dangerous place or realm.

You were coded to not find issues with the odd reality around you, like any other npc- You were taught to hold in and try to keep a sense of normality so no players would find issue with screaming characters begging to be freed. But your nervous personality caused you to search for help, you panicked and ended up running away to what you assumed to be a safe place- Somewhere crowded with a lot of people.

The institution's gates were open, you entered like your life depended on it (and maybe it did) yet you stopped yourself from screaming when you noticed a commotion happening.

A guy who was wearing the uniform lazily has bumped into a girl, causing her to fall. She is yelling at him because the fall has broken her phone, he is trying his best to calm her down- But at the same time it feels like he is just making poor choices of words because of how sick he is of having to chat with someone so angry at an accident.

Haven't you seen this before? But if so- When? When could you possibly have seen something like that happen?-

"- [Y/N]?"

"- AAAAH- Oh hey Yuma."

You yelled after getting spooked by Yuma- Who was…. Why are they wearing that?

"- Why aren't you in your uniform, Yumie?" You asked them, showing your own uniform in the process. You called them by a sweet nickname you had given them- But when exactly?

You know that you're best friends with Yuma, but since when? You know it should have been for about 6 years or so, but… It feels like you have only known them for a year- How… Weird.

"- Don't tell me you're already breaking a rule on your first day." You pouted and stomped your fit into the ground. Yes, you know that Yuma is a troublemaker…. You know…. That.

Yuma hasn't been able to speak ever since you showed concern about their outfit. They were staring at you in shock- As if you were an odd creature who they just found.

"- Y-You can see my outfit??" They blurted out. How can you recognize it??? All the other npcs recognize it as their uniform, but why are you suddenly acting like you do??

"- Hm, duh? Sorry Yummie, but that sporty outfit of yours is more eye-catching than that guy's barely well put together uniform- Such bad manners, I bet he woke up and hastily wore the first thing he saw-" You were beginning to go on a rant about that guy's uniform- That guy being the MC of this new save file. Yuma has stopped you by pulling you away from the college's entrance and entering into a secluded area so they could interrogate you over this odd behavior you were displaying.

"- Yummie- What are you doing!?" You cried out feeling hurt by their tight grip on your wrists.

"- WHAT DID YOU CALL MY OUTFIT??" They yelled desperately. Begging for their hypothesis to be corrected.

"- … A breaking of the uniform rule?" You genuinely did not understand where they were talking about.

"- No, No NO! You said Sporty Outfit, right?" They said reminding you of what you have previously commented about their outfit.

"- Oh! Yes, yes I did- And although being somewhat casual looking- It does fit the category of sporty." You readdressed the topic while going on a bit of detail- The usual annoying talk you would always do whenever a dialogue with you was activated.

Yuma was over the edge- They have never, ever met another sentient character with the same a.i as theirs.

They haven't been this happy since a long, long time.

"- You're so annoying!" They screamed, their face showing a bright smile as tears filled their eyes.

"- Yummie that's so rude!-" You were about to defend yourself when they grabbed you and hugged you as tight as they could.

"- You're genuinely so, so, so, so, so, so ANNOYING!!" They continued to go on, laughing while crying, loving every second of this.

You were coded to be their best friend. You were coded to be the one that would balance them out. You were once coded to be someone made to be able to be their lover, but here you are- The real you, free from all the locks that would keep your a.i from growing and understanding them.

If you're able to be sentient, then all of their friends can as well.

You're the personification of a miracle, to Yuma. The personification of hope.

In this scenario, Yuma isn't aware that the player isn't the same alien who has destroyed their digital world, so to them, they can't ever let the player see you getting sentient and becoming aware of your imprisonment.

" If a player finds issues with any of the characters being portrayed, they must return the cartridge to their nearest store to get a factory reset." Such a simple yet frightening tip to Yuma, to any a.i that has suddenly found itself desperate to get out of the system that traps them.

At first, the idea of having someone like them be also aware of the situation is incredible, it's amazing even! You two could possibly work out a way of getting a way to be free- It wouldn't be easy but hopefully you two would be able to have life away from this game and even finding a way of bringing your other friends with you two.

However, after discovering that not only has the cartridge found itself on another planet with another player being the new owner of it- And discovering that it's just a matter of trading places with other people to be able to be free- Yuma would start getting really clingy to you. They have been all alone thinking that they were the only one capable of feeling and thinking for themselves.

Yuma has found those unused events and scattered dialogue, you know?

While they were looking for a possibility, any possibility of getting out- They found those unused files where you two were able to be together.

And although they thought it was weird at first, after seeing you have a better understanding of your current reality and existence- It oddly sounds fitting.

Of course it would be you, the one who always puts them back on the right tracks, to be the second one to want to escape this game.

It 's so fitting.

The idea of being something more than just a best friend to you is starting to sound more and more appealing in their eyes- It's so ironic that you two work together so well.

After Yuma gets their taste of freedom and you try to calm a frightened young guy that wasn't expecting to be suddenly kidnapped and be forced to stay in the game world for a while, you wait for them to find the solution to free everyone without trying to trap anymore "humans"..

No one should be stuck here for the sake of someone else leaving, that's what you have told them.

But Yuma didn't care. Yuma just wanted to be free with you and everyone else, who cares for those that have to deal with a glitchy game for eternity?

You two had an argument. You didn't want to continue feeling like your whole life was a lie, you want to be free but no one should be hurt in the process. What good would it be if someone else has to go through the same torment as you two?

With each day that passes by, you notice how both of your ideas of freedom were different- To the point they had to tell you the truth.

You aren't going out of there anymore. Not until you understand and truly appreciate the effort that Yuma goes through to find a way of freeing you- Of finding a victim, to be in your place.

They never told you about your previously intended role in the game, they thought you would be more terrified of following their instructions- And besides, it would be very distasteful to insinuate that the only reason that they care for you it's because of that code that was left unused- Which couldn't be more of a lie! They genuinely care for you!

…. But maybe a bit of tempering would help you see their side of the story, right?

It can't be that hard to modify some of the codes, the game is already broken anyway.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

#yandere #sheep stuff #sheep's stuff #yandere oc #yandere x reader #yandere oc x reader #yandere oc headcanon #yandere ai #yandere ai x reader #yandere ai x ai reader #yandere a.i #yandere a.i x reader #yandere a.i x a.i reader #special delivery headcanons #special delivery request

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blackswaneuroparedux · 3 years

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I promised myself that if ever I had some money, I would savour a cigar each day after lunch and dinner. This is the only resolution of my youth that I have kept, and the only realized ambition which has not brought disillusion.

- Somerset Maugham

So France is finally easing its Covid restrictions with the staggered opening of terrace cafes, cinemas, museums, and non-essential stores. People can even start to go back to work now too.

For me, it’s only in the past few weeks or so that I have been given permission by my corporate firm to travel outside of France to travel to other countries for my work - and even then with severe restrictions such as taking a Covid Test within 72 hours of my departure. Despite this I was releived to be able to get out of my confined situation from working from home to be able to change my scene and get out of Paris.

When I travel outside of France for work and I’m stuck in a hotel room I don’t rely on the mini bar but usually go out and provide my own creature comforts. With the Covid restricting any movement and most shops under restricted opening hours in other European cities. This past week I relied on two German colleagues who gifted me two entirely different gifts as a mark of thanks for the work I had put in for them.

Curious to know I decided to pair both gifts, cigar and whisky. Unfortunately it had a decidedly mixed result.

The Davidoff Aniversario No. 3, is a luxurious handmade premium cigar of the finest pedigree. It’s right for all occasions but especially when you feel you’ve accomplished something and you feel yourself deserving something a little indulgent. These celebratory cigars originally marked the 80th birthday of the famed Zino Davidoff. It has a delicate and silky Ecuadorian Connecticut wrapper that embraces a core of deeply aged Dominican binder and long filler tobaccos. It’s essentially a medium strength premium cigar that offers up arm notes of nuts, pepper, creamy chocolate, and spices.

This is a cigar that kind of sneaks up on you. Despite Davidoff cigars having a reputation for being mild to medium cigars, I have to say the Aniversario No. 3 spans the entire range from beginning to end of the hour or so it takes to smoke it. When you first light it you notice it’s a little slow to start but it is an effortless first draw that starts out very mild in flavour. The flavour intensity builds with each draw. Very soon within the first third it gives rise to medium bodied flavours of a rich silky smooth creamy textured soft tobacco adding a little sweetness. Towards the end the addition of roasted nut flavours comes aromatically through before it fades away to finish with a big hearted creaminess. The ash holds right into the second third of the smoke. This is a long burning cigar that will let you put it down for a minute or two without going out on you.

The most impressive thing about this medium to full bodied cigar is how well it can be paired with drinks. I would recommend a white wine, preferably a sauvignon blanc, rather than a red. But I think it’s ideal to go with a single malt whisky.

I smoked my cigar with a dram of The Glenrothes 18 year old single malt whisky from their Soleo collection. In hindsight I would have preferred a more peaty single malt whisky to ideally go with the Davidoff Aniversario No.3. I’ve never completely been sold on the single malts offered by the Glenrothes range as there are much better single malts from Speyside in Scotland.

Back in September 2018 Glenrothes announced it would be replacing the Vintage releases with a brand new series with age statements, listening to the name Soleo Collection. This was the first, and influential, decision taken after Berry Brothers sold the brand back to former owner Edrington. Six new malts have been released: 10 Year Old, 12 Year Old, Whisky Maker’s Cut, 18 Year Old and 25 Year Old. The 40 Year Old should follow soon. Soleo refers to the Andalusian sun, where the sherry casks used by Glenrothes to mature their malt comes from.

Whilst the distillery’s link to sherry cask maturation has long been a ‘thing’, Edrington are keen to push this aspect further - the distillery now brands itself as a ‘Sherry Cask Speyside Single Malt Whisky’; this makes some sense on some level given that its core range Soleo Collection is entirely composed of sherried single malts. But, is that truly enough of a differentiator? I’m not sure.

For €120 a bottle I was expecting more.

The 18 year old entry in the Glenrothes Soleo Collection is created entirely from sherry seasoned casks with a high proportion (unspecified) of 1st fill seasoned oak. The bottling has a higher ABV than the range’s more accessible entries – but, not much, a somewhat paltry 43%. Still, it’s a smooth rather than peaty. It’s very light for an 18 year old with its vanilla, orange, ginger and rose flavour notes. On the nose it the Glenrothes is packed with vanilla and citrus. I found it elegant, smooth and oily with a hint of dust shavings. My dram had the taste of espresso that became a bit spicy thanks to ginger and white pepper and cut strawberry and hint of candy floss. A sublime sweetness follow by lightly charred notes that resembling fine runny caramel, alluring savoury notes to keep things interesting long enough not to stop drinking. The finish is just shy of long, docile and pleasant. Some nuts at the end of the downing of the dram.

The Glenrothes 18 year old is a tasty but safe offering. There’s a good level of sherry cask integration whilst the distillery character remains alive and kicking with a strong malty orange vibe. However, at the same time, everything feels largely benign for 18 years of maturity – there are no surprises to be had here. Whilst the nose is rather lovely, the palate squanders the earlier promise with an overabundance of modern oak. Of all the bottles in the Soleo Collection this one makes me miss the supplanted vintages the most – similarly aged expressions were erratic and uneven, but often possessed an element of excitement to them.

Conformity is a dangerous thing to embark upon in any venture or walk in life, be it whisky, a cigar, or any kind of pleasure. Conformity is especially attractive for stock management and, also for the ability to market a consistent house style – but it usually comes with an associated loss of originality. Walking the road less travelled can make all the difference. Without risk there can be no adventure.

#maugham #somerset maugham #cigar #quote #whisky #davidoff 3 anniversary cigar #the glenrothes 18 year old scotch whisky #review #personal #cigar review #whisky review #culture #civilised #covid 19

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lorebird · 4 years

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Hey, use this for singer souls if wanna talk about it. I'm intrigued now XD

I’ve been saving this bc I wanted to make a lil infographic thing but uhhh fuck it I’ve been excited over this ask for too long !!! TIME FOR BENREY SPECIES LORE

Singer souls are a shapeshifting alien race that span most of the Virgo cluster, and they’re able to travel such vast distances thanks to some limited ability over spacetime (like making wormholes or small dimensional shifts). They’re called singer souls because their “true forms” aren’t super corporeal, and they communicate through the sweet voice, which ofc produces that singing sound! The musical aspect isn’t actually an intentional part, though — an individual orb of sweet voice will vibrate at a certain frequency according to mood (more abt that here), which will communicate context in the void of space where sound can’t be produced. In an atmosphere, though, it causes the singing effect!!

Now about all the shapeshifting business. A singer soul’s “true form” is actually just a big ol mess of sweet voice, like in the corner of this old doodle page!! This drawing’s kinda outdated bc it was. One of my first hlvrai drawings and way before I made my own sweet voice system, plus I was vaguely drawing on angelic themes that I’ve since abandoned for singer souls, but whaTEVER AMFHKDKSF

The reason why red sweet voice is almost never used in communication is because it’s the color that forms most of the “structure” of their bodies! It only shows up if you’ve punctured through the decently tough outer layer of a singer soul’s form or if they’re experienced deep emotional hurt.

Singer souls are very rarely just Vibing in their true form. They’re able to shapeshift to mimic very fine details, down to the different textures of their form. However, it’s not the kind of shapeshifting where you can think “I wanna be a rabbit” and anatomy just falls into place — they have to understand what they’re turning into! Benrey spent a long time studying human anatomy so he could look Not Weirdly Off when hanging around Black Mesa. That’s why he sometimes shows up as a skeleton! He finds bones interesting and spent a lot of time learning how they worked and looked. However, it can be hard to control every detail of shapeshifting when under stress (especially for younger individuals) — Benrey tends to turn more of a blue color when they’re upset, and completely loses control of their form in the final fight.

Another Fun And Cool aspect is that singer souls can actually divide their form up into more than one appearance, willingly or not. That’s what the skeletons in the boss fight are, and what Coomer is, actually — an older and less powerful singer soul captured by Black Mesa and divided into many different forms so his strength was basically just that of a slightly-weirdly-powerful human. When things go to shit and he has the run of the place, he starts destroying “clones” and bringing them back into one form (which is why he gets more powerful and feels everything they feel. It’s kinda like a hivemind but with just,,, one single person I guess,,,,,)

Sunkist can also use sweet voice, but she isn’t a full-on singer soul. She was made through bioengineering hodgepodge that I’m not smart enough to make up and is mostly a dog, but able to shapeshift to some small degree (mostly changing size) and communicate with sweet voice!! It also makes her much hardier, thus, the perfect immortal dog :]

#hlvrai #hlvrai benrey #benrey #dr coomer #hlvrai sunkist #rambles #my art #ty for the chance to infodump :]]]#i hope yall like the singer souls!!#long post #i thinK ANDSKFJK

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battle-of-alberta · 3 years

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OCtober: Cal and Ed

It’s finally over. I’m sorry for the delay but stuff has been Happening. If there’s a tourism site that attracts you more to one city or the other, let me know.

Calgary | Edmonton

Below is some meta stuff about the ‘research’ (if you can even call it that, it was more of a vibe check) I did for re-doing the profiles. Read on, if it intrigues you. And I gotta mention there’s a bonus rabbit hole I went down for Calgary’s self-image that is. Well. A Lot.

Major Cities: Calgary and Edmonton

We made it team, the heart of the Battle of Alberta, the major city rivalry that defined generations. Calgary is the largest city in the province and the centre of southern Alberta, a young, fast-paced major city that oscillates wildly between boom and bust and is attracting both attention and employees from the traditional major cities in Canada. Edmonton is the capital of the province and the the most northern major city with a metro population of over one million on the continent, a little older and more blue collar, somewhat more stable economically, and quickly rising to meet the challenges presented by open data and sustainable urban planning. And, as we know, they've been antagonizing each other since the 19th century, but collaborating as well.

Website Round Up Premise

While I was revisiting these character profiles, I took a look at how cities represented themselves on their municipal sites and tourism sites rather than how cities were represented in the news or in stereotypes, as the latter already tend to live in the back of my head. I was interested to see who the target audiences for each city were, what they considered their strengths, and how much effort each city put into putting its own identity on display. I was also interested into what ideas sort of fed into any pre-existing confirmation bias I had about each city's personality as well as interested in what narratives might be used to counteract negative stereotypes.The first thing I tended to notice was the overall information architecture of each city's website. How easy were they to navigate? What kinds of information did they have? How did they organize it? How did they communicate that information?

Out and About

There's a sharp difference between the websites of major cities from other cities. They are very careful to separate the corporation of 'The City of' from the cities we might know, and therefore both websites have a much more business-like tone and more distance from their civic identities. This means no traditional "About" pages as other cities might have.

At the time I'm visiting, Edmonton's page has some ADORABLE art of a nuthatch that's making me very homesick. Calgary has a seasonally appropriate snowy skyline.

Calgary does have an "Our Organization" tab which describes the City as a corporation, and likewise Edmonton has a "City Government" tab that performs a similar function. Edmonton's is in alphabetical order which is only a little annoying and Calgary's reads like a very perfectly chunked business portfolio that doesn't... really say as much as it looks like it does, but it does get bonus points for vision/organization/accessibility.

I have never seen a more concise history of Calgary in my life. It's literally three bullet points and a couple of bracketing sentences, but it does do the job. Calgary is, more or less, what it says it is (although I do take slight issue with its self identification as a trading post - it may have functioned that way but that was not what it was founded for and in fact the trading companies gtfo'd asap in those early days). It goes on to paint a very good sketch of the city in as few lines as possible in the text, and there's a little video at the end that feels like it was voiced over in 1988 even though it's clearly not.

Edmonton's City government page is even vaguer. Let's make a more dynamic and resilient Edmonton shall we, the page suggests. Resilient against What Exactly, I wonder. Winter? The boom-bust? Calgary? who knows. The majority of the sub pages are even more mysterious and essentially paint the picture of a city. It's a normal city. Trust us. We do city things. Here is exactly how government works and how to raise and lower a flag. In Edmonton, which is, in fact, a city.

I'm begging you if you think Calvin is hokey and annoying please read the Our Culture page and see it's EXACTLY how I intended to portray him because it's eXACTLY what it's already like. "The Four C's of Our Culture" give me a break.

Edmonton offers me a picture of the skyline and says "City of Opportunity: City of You". I suppose this is true. I don't know what it means. I fear slightly for its intentions.

I keep seeing "Calgary: A great place to make a living, a great place to make a life" and it's like. Stop! I won't go! You can't make me! (and again the Strong and Resilient Calgary. these kids are always catching colds because they don't eat properly.)

Although Edmonton makes literally zero attempt to define itself (outside perhaps the official symbols page hidden under Facts and Figures), what strikes me is that it is portraying itself as a very future-oriented city, which, when I was growing up we really never were. We were an inward city constantly wishing we were somewhere else which is partially still true, and we were a city with such an intense nostalgia (that unlike Calgary we failed to really capitalize on) that grated roughly against a complete failure to preserve history. It does kind of make me glad that the city is looking towards the future and just like, acknowledging basic realities (like snow) and trying to involve people in urban planning more (and throughout the website the city LOOOOVES to share data which I also called, haha). There's also an adorable animation of the city road map in its strategic planning pages. It's interesting that for a city that leaves itself up to your own interpretation, it does have a LOT of information about itself collected and available.

Tourism

Oddly enough, neither city has substantially changed their tourism homepage to accommodate COVID-related staycation plans, although each does mention that many things may be closed or unavailable as a result of the pandemic.

CaLGARy, Be PaRT of THe EnERGy!!

I like how Edmonton's self-presentation is "original" and "we do things differently". It's like a Keep ___ Weird thing but in an understated self-assured way that makes me laugh a little. Like yeah, I guess we are kind of different, I guess we're just not used to seeing that as a good thing.

In the tourism guides there isn't much to say about Calgary's that isn't just "oh, classic Calgary" but I do think the fact that they have "quick facts" to explain what timezone it's in and what currency they use is adorable to say the least. also the title of the guide is CALGARY (and the canadian rockies) and that sums up Calgary pretty well, which I'll elaborate on more.

I actually can't find Edmonton's guide, if it has one, but that's ok. The website hits all the buttons that I would and I actually use exploreedmonton quite frequently because it has a nicer event calendar than the city website does, which is important in a place nicknamed Festival City. I really appreciate how things are organized by month/season and even down to "what's happening today/tomorrow/this week" because it makes planning trips for my visitors easy, so now you know my secret : ) I wish I could just beam this site directly into people's brains when they mention "oh yeah thats where the mall is" when I say I'm from Edmonton.

Interestingly enough it's Calgary's turn to be vague, which I can only assume is part of its "exactly what it says it is" charm. This desperation to find a shred of self-description outside of things to do and places to stay led me down a rabbit hole I will elaborate on in a moment that truly showed me I Knew Nothing about how deep Calgary's branding goes. Otherwise, the website is very practical and functions more like an answer to questions you had about the what and the how and less so the why.

Also, the "Locals" page on Calgary's site has tips on hosting friends and family from around the province safely during the pandemic which is kind of cute. Edmonton doesn't really have a local page (i guess because if we had a hashtag like #loveyyc we'd ruin it)

Bonus: The Rabbit Hole

I wondered why Calgary's tourism page, which I expected to be the most in your face description of the city possible, fell kind of flat. I learned this seems to be because tourists are not the target audience that Calgary wants to attract. It's companies and corporations, and they get their own page.

Boy oh boy do they get their own page

This led me down this frightening path of getting validation like being repeatedly punched in the face by what On Brand Calgary truly means and I'm frankly quite speechless about it - all I can say is that you need to see it for yourself.

The tourism site gestures to a Billion reasons why you should hold your next meeting in Calgary and here is where the self definition as Big City Energy and Western Hospitality starts kicking the tires and lighting the fires. Likewise with the media-oriented page. Suddenly stuff like the Calgary Bucket List starts popping up and I can't help but go hang on, why not suggest this to tourists?

"It's cowboy spirit, but also refined and cosmopolitan" [sighs into hands]

Suddenly all the "Calgarians love visitors! Calgarians love the outdoors!" stuff is spilling out like water from a dam here. "Where's Calgary?" [Link that reads FIND US].

Like i literally feel like the tourism side on the left is the Kids Menu, it's the corporate stuff on the right that I'm actually finding the type of information I want on. Eventually, I somehow make my way to Calgary's Destination Strategy which is trying to make Calgary a place that... well, people go. Like, internationally. Like the Olympics but MORE of that.

Then I find the Brand Evolution. Then I find Calgary's Economic Development site. The poetry about rocky mountain prairie skies and "where a handshake still means something" starts to reach its peak.

Then back through the tourism site I find the video. And the video makes me shake because it suggests the premise of The Powerpoint.

The Powerpoint. I cannot summarize the powerpoint in any meaningful way or how my emotions were a rollercoaster further and further up and down the longer i scrolled. Everything I know and suggest about Calgary seems to be unequivocally true, including the sense that Calgary as a person is the sort of person who makes powerpoints about his own identity crisis because that's precisely what this is.

And then I get to the part of the powerpoint that suggests I imagine what kind of person the city of Calgary might be (and implied: does that person think about anything other than the mountains???) THEY EVEN DID AN OCEAN PERSONALITY TEST FOR THE CITY I KID YOU NOT

Hi, City of Edmonton, hire me to take an OCEAN test for our fair city. I'm begging you.

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jadelotusflower · 3 years

Text

March 2021 Roundup

Reading

Benevolence by Julie Janson - One of those books that caught my eye at the library (I’m a sucker for the “top picks” shelf) and I’m glad I picked up. The story of Muraging, given over in 1813 to the Parramatta Native School, but always trying to find a way back to her family and culture in the brutal early days of colonisation - resilient in the face of so much hardship. Janson is a Burruberongal woman of the Durag Aboriginal Nation, and Muraging is based on her great-great grandmother and Durag oral histories. An engrossing but often difficult read, about a period of history not often told from this perspective.

One Day by David Nicholls - A book that has been sitting on my bookshelf for so long I don’t even remember buying it. I vaguely recall seeing the movie adaptation on a plane once so must have enjoyed it, but can’t say I would recommend this book. Depicting St Swithin’s Day every year in the lives of two absolute character cliches, from one night stand, to friendship, romance and marriage. The concept is neat and the writing has wit, but I just couldn’t bring myself to care about Dex (insufferable twat) and Emma (not like other girls) or their love story. Okay, it’s not that bad. It kind of grew on me by the end.

Watching

Superman and Lois (episodes 1-5) - I’ve had reservations about this show because of this but am giving it a shot. I have not followed the Arrowverse/Crisis but a friend did her best to explain it to me, although honestly I found it this show works just as well as a standalone. The premise is simple - Lois and Clark return to Smallville with their twin sons for teen superhero angst part two. To be honest, it feels so much like a Smallville revival that...I kind of wish it was?

Tyler Hoechlin makes a good Clark, but that padded Superman suit is an embarrassment - get rid of those fake muscles and show us some super collarbones! Elizabeth Tulloch is growing on me as Lois - she’s very...subdued, but imo lacking that spark Kidder, Hatcher, and Durance had. Honestly, subdued it how I would describe the show overall. Also the colour palette is sooo drab because gritty realism I guess.

I enjoy the family drama aspect of it, although I wish one of the kids was a girl. I mean, I understand why they’re twin boys - the son becomes the father and the father the son and all that - complete with both sons being named after both of Clark’s fathers (is there a name for the trope of the hero’s kids being named after his dead family/mentors as if the mother had no input??). The Captain Luthor/Morgan Edge plots are still in the setup stage so hard to comment on them.

I sound harsh, I don’t dislike the show overall (and there’s some really good elements there). We’ll see, I guess.

Man of Steel/Batman v Superman/Zack Snyder’s Justice League - I’ve never really been a huge fan of the Snyderverse, and have been trying my best to avoid the Discourse about the Snyder cut over the past few years (from both sides). I have however been following what Ray Fisher has had to say, and can’t deny my interest was piqued by the idea that there was an entirely different film out there that did right by its characters. So I went back and revisited MoS/BvS before embarking on JL to give the franchise another shot.

While I still don’t really vibe with Snyder’s aesthetic (it’s just a bit bleak and muddy for me) I think these films are actually better when viewed together as one long story. I can appreciate that he made an effort to step away from the Donner nostalgia, and tell this epic modern myth of gods among men, and can enjoy it for what it is. The Snyder cut was entertaining enough, and I quite enjoyed aspects of it - Cyborg is indeed the heart of the film (but I honestly wish it had been explored in his own movie), and Wonder Woman, Aquaman, and the Flash break up the dreary tone.

It was nice to see the Amazons again (and I loved “Amazon’s, show your fear”/“we have no fear”). I like this take on Clark and Lois, even if most of the relationship happens offscreen, and there’s certainly more in the Snyder cut - even if I wish there was greater depth to Clark’s arc in particular, less of the god and more of the man.

I did however notice a pattern in these films in that I was interested/compelled by the first world building/character half, and having my eyes glaze over in the endless action cgi-fest of the second half (I have this issue with Marvel too). And the Snyder cut is indeed endless - it rivals Return of the King for number of endings but is much less cohesive, like Snyder was throwing everything at the wall since this might be his last chance. There’s a nice montage at the end with a bit of hope, and I was thinking well this is a nice uplifting note to end on, thank you! But nope, twenty more minutes of grimdark prophecising (in isolation, an interesting scene, but felt so out of place to show the team torn apart again immediately after we’ve just seen them come back together).

I also lol’d at David Thewlis getting a front credit for what amounted to his cgi face behind a massive helmet. Collect that paycheck, my man!

Coming 2 America - I watched the original as a teenager more times than I can count, truly iconic. Look, I dislike the sequel/reboot/remake merry go round when it dominates the scene, but to be honest I am a sucker for a sequel that’s lovingly made and really just an excuse to get the band back together and have fun. Worth it for the costumes and dance sequences alone (especially the En Vogue/Salt n Pepper/Gladys Knight mashup), but I really enjoyed this overall. There’s nothing groundbreaking and it doesn’t try to be. Was it necessary? No. But did I enjoy it? Absolutely.

Actually, scratch that. The costumes and hair are absolutely necessary.

The Prom (dir. Ryan Murphy) - Now I love a movie musical and this was...fine. It’s sweet and I enjoyed Meryl Streep doing her best Patti Lupone, and Nicole Kidman clearly having fun (even if she can’t Fosse to save her life) although I can’t say I found any of the songs memorable. James Corden, however, is pure cringe for reasons outlined here. But overall it’s light and fluffy, and not a terrible way to spend two hours of your life.

Superstore (seasons 1-6) - I’ve been binging on this for a while, and it’s a fun little show about the employees of a big box store - it’s nice to see America Ferrera back on screen (with producer credit). A great, diverse cast, but MVPs for me are Lauren Ash as Dina (you may recognise her voice as Scorpia from She-Ra), and Kaliko Kauahi as Sandra. While it did touch on some real-world issues - corporation malfeasance, unionisation, etc - ultimately it’s lighthearted and pleasant, especially the series finale that just goes full happy ending with a nice break from grim reality.

Allen v Farrow (dir. Kirby Dick and Amy Ziering) - I’ve never watched a Woody Allen film, and the clips I’ve seen of Woody Allen films haven’t changed my mind on this point. But what struck me seeing the clips of Manhattan in this documentary is just how young Muriel Hemingway was - this is not the Hollywood standard 22 year old playing 17 (which is problematic in other ways) but an actual teenager with a baby face and childlike voice, in bed with a 40+ year old man and I am baffled that this film is so highly regarded - if nothing else it’s right up there on the screen.

But of course there is so much else, which makes this documentary hard to watch at times. To those who have followed these events there’s not much new here, but it does an excellent job of compiling the sources together and giving a timeline of events, as well as refuting many of the pro-Allen arguments, and giving Dylan a chance to speak for herself. There’s also a companion podcast which is worth a listen for added perspective.

Writing

I actually finished something, finally! Posted Debrief, a Smallville one-shot (3920 words). 1670 words done on my other Smallville wip.

Posted chapter 41 of Turn Your Face to the Sun (1865 words). Now that the Obi-Wan show is actually happening, I need to get this finished before it all becomes moot.

Total: 7455 words this month, making 23,962 for the year.

#monthly roundup #reading watching writing #long post

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fmdhyeju · 3 years

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restructuring task #1: changes (+5 tracker points)

assuming your muse has changed in some way, be it internally or as a result of a change of the external factors around them, how is your muse different? these can be as small as an opinion on a song they hadn’t released previously or as big as a major change in their background. // tw: suicide, wc: 330

the biggest change that hyeju has gone through is the reconstruction of her family background. nothing dramatic has happened to them as the skeleton of her family remains the same (she has both parents, an older brother and a younger brother) but their position in society has become significantly less important. before the revamp, hyeju’s parents were written as wealthy entrepreneurs who had a lot of influence in the business world because of how big their corporation was. having her parents be that big and yet have nobody know that lipstick’s hyeju was their daughter seemed unrealistic as time went on so i decided that a change in their position would be the right choice. now, they’re still business owners and were still very much controlling which led to the eventual suicide of her older brother (also something that hasn’t changed), but they’re not as influential so today, who her family is would be public knowledge.

another thing that has changed is that hyeju never runs away from home now. after the death of her brother, she still remains in the min household, but she does disconnect even further with her family sans her younger brother who has also been shifted into being someone that hyeju is a lot closer with in this verse. he’s become attached to her after hyesung’s death, and so it’s likely that she’ll mention him more often than before.

other than that, very little has changed about hyeju. her personality is probably the most unchanged. the opinion on the kind of music she releases is also not very different. she still vibes more with the mature sounding releases rather than their early graceful ones though she had no problem performing them when she was younger aka when they did initially get released. still has problems with bc entertainment as a company itself, but she loves her members and has an overflowing amount of pride for her group which was true before the revamp as well.

what does your muse think of their company and their group? // wc: 291

because of the fact that she comes from a family that runs its own business, hyeju can’t help but view bc entertainment in a negative light. while it’s true that lily and herself would be nowhere without the help of the company and the influence they have in the industry, she still dislikes the overbearing nature of bc as a whole. she’s not someone to rebel simply because that involves too much energy and time, but she isn’t shy about shit talking the company behind closed doors and sometimes even in front of the cameras (which is why bc wasn’t the biggest fan of sending her out onto variety shows early on in lily’s career). now that she’s established herself as a veteran idol, the reigns on her have loosened a bit especially since the company’s more focused on their junior groups, but that doesn’t change what she thinks of bc.

lily, on the other hand, is a group that she’d guard with her whole life. for a group that had their breakthrough quite early on in their career, hyeju thinks there’s no denying that they’re still a very influential and successful group within the industry. though the general public might not be interested in every single new release of their’s, the general love and attention that the group receives is still there, and she’s proud of the legacy that her and her members have been able to build up. some of their earlier releases aren’t songs that she’d love to perform today—she believes they’ve aged out of a few of them—but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t adore the group as a whole. she’s also very attached to her members and everything they’ve been through together for close to a decade.

is your muse on their first contract or their second? if they’ve renewed, what were their feelings around that at the time and what were their hopes for their second contract? if they haven’t renewed, what are their current thoughts on the end of their eventual first contract? // wc: 276

lily renewed their contract back in 2019 so hyeju is now on her second contract with bc entertainment. all she needed for a renewal was the confirmation that all her members would renew with her. she doesn’t care about the company as much as she cares for the group, and she would have gone wherever her members wanted to go as long as the four of them were on the same page. if that meant leaving altogether and starting somewhere new, she would have been up with that. if it eventually meant having to disband because some of the members weren’t up to being an idol anymore, she would have followed through with that as well. anything she could do to keep the lily name either alive or untarnished would have been what influenced her decision.

there’s not a whole lot that she expects or even desires from the company. as long as they continue to give lily frequent comebacks that don’t end up looking cheap and rushed, she’s fine with whatever comes her way. her individual activities have always been up her alley of things she enjoys doing and so if things remain the same, that isn’t something she’d complain about either. hyeju’s not very selfish when it comes to individual activities either, and she usually accepts what is given to her. she really does think that as long as lily isn’t pushed to the back burner and completely ignored for two years straight, that’d be alright with her. the push into a more mature sound is something that she enjoys because she believes that’s only natural as they continue to grow as a group.

what are your muse’s goals and motivations? // wc: 295

there’s no specific goals or motivations currently on hyeju’s mind. odd thing to say seeing that everybody around her seems to be so ambitious and ready to venture out into new things. however, she’s content by simply living with the flow. ever since she got accepted as a trainee, it seems that her life has been taking her down this path that she’s never planned, and she doesn’t mind it. sure, it might not hurt to be a little more motivated and have things that she wants to accomplish, but she doesn’t think it’s a bad thing to not have any of those.

with lily, she would like if they have another mega hit. she’s not sure how possible that may be with how far along down their career they are since it’s completely normal for groups to sort of die out and rely more on their fanbase than anything, but having another national hit like gee would only solidify their place in the industry, and she thinks that would be nice. even if it doesn’t happen though, she wouldn’t be upset. some of their songs are repeatedly covered by their juniors, and she thinks that’s already a legacy that’s going to be hard to beat.

if she’s thinking non-career wise, hyeju thinks it would be nice to be able to perform with lily for as long as she can and then eventually retire into a more quiet place. somewhere like jeju island perhaps where she can out of the limelight and then return to perform only when she feels like it. a life sort of like lee hyori’s. despite not appearing like it, she does eventually want to settle down and get married, but it’s not an immediate need in her life right now.

what is one conflict, internal or external, that your muse is currently dealing with, has recently dealt with, or will need to deal with in the future? // wc: 268

at the moment, there’s no big conflict going on in her life. the biggest thing is probably her family, but they won’t be an immediate problem to her. again, they’re not some big shots in korea anymore and instead just run their own family business so it’s not like hyeju’s name is constantly being associated with them and vice versa. however, there are plans for her to try to settle things out with her family in the future especially in the case of her brother’s death. that’s still very much unspoken about in the min household unless it’s brought up by hyeju, but she rarely does that either since she’s not home nor does she contact her parents frequently.

the biggest conflict that will eventually come to hyeju is probably the stagnant nature of her life and how that may drive her to feel sort of lethargic for a while? i think that’s only natural when it comes to someone like hyeju who lives by the flow of where life takes her instead of planning out each step. she’s living such a good life right now though since she’s young, rich and successful so if anything were to happen to lily’s career or her relationship with her members, that’d probably become a big obstacle in her life. for someone who’s so unconcerned by what goes on, she does really enjoy having stability in her life so it’d be interesting to see what she would have to go through if something so stable in her life, like lily, were to take a turn. of course, if that ever happens.

if your muse has established career claims, what are their thoughts on their career so far? if they do not, how do they feel about not having individual activities yet? what would they like to do in the future, if anything? if they don’t have ambitions for individual activities, explain why. // wc: 372

hyeju currently has established career claims in modeling, music and creative claims in lily’s discography. modeling is something that she’s been pushed into since the beginning because fans have dubbed her to be quite stylish. personally, she doesn’t think she’s doing anything out of the blue but sometimes it seems that the most ordinary of outfits can be seen as fashionable. magazine shoots and brand deals are fun in her opinion, and she wouldn’t mind getting more of those. they’re quite minimal when it comes to actual participation as she acts as the face of a brand for a couple of months and does maybe one or two shoots and appearances in total. but they do get her name out there in some kind of way.

being lily’s lead vocalist means she’s also had a few ost’s here and there. nothing huge as she’s not some power vocalist like minah—her strength comes mostly in stability—but there have been times where she’s been sought out for the sweet tone of her voice. or so she’s been told.

she’s participated in three of lily’s songs so far: baby maybe, boom pow love and goodbye. baby maybe was very minimal participation, but she was around when the producers were writing lyrics and she threw out a couple of ideas here and there that they helped polish up and bam, she was listed as one of the lyricists for the song. boom pow love and goodbye came along in similar ways. she didn’t really sit down and think long and hard about writing a song or whatever, but it usually came in sudden inspiration or thoughts that the producers liked and helped her out with. which is why all her participation is partial at most. she’s not the next paul mccartney or whatever.

there’s not a lot she desires for her solo activites, and she’s pretty content with what she gets now. bc hasn’t been shy about venturing her out as a soloist either, and she’s enjoyed the songs given to her as a whole and would like to continue to release more music as a soloist because they allow her to perform differently on stage as the songs and concepts aren’t up lily’s usual lane.

#famedrstask1 #( ✧ — headcanon. )

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femmeconduit · 3 years

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Forecast for 2021

Note: This is a tarot and energy reading to forecast 2021 and should be considered a general reading, where it may not resonate for every individual. I’m a clairvoyant who woke up this morning with a weight like, “BING! Time to read!” and it knocked me on my ass so here I am, hoping the message will get to the person(s) it’s intended for. I don’t usually share collective messages on here because I’ve spent most of 2020 on my solo shadow work, but this message felt important so here goes.

Placing a cut for length (it’s nearly 2k overall):

Overall Vibe for 2021: Seven of Pentacles, Four of Wands

This brings me some relief as a reader because every New Year there’s usually a swell of jumping in with both feet and it can be a bit reckless. We don’t have that here. What we have for 2021 is cautious optimism, a sense of pause, to wait and see whether all the effort and emotional purging, all the hard work we put into 2020 is going to pay off this year.

The outcome of whether all the 2020 work is truly going to pay off is not clear to me right now. The energies are anxious on January 1st (at the time of this forecast), but one thread I’m picking up on is a sense of hope that all of the work we’ve done on ourselves in 2020 wasn’t for nothing--especially when it comes to connecting with others we love. Family, friends, and romantic partners who weathered through the worst of 2020 and bared their true selves together do show a strengthening of bonds in 2021. That will make the cautious optimism of waiting for the payoff easier to weather.

Overall, there isn't a blind expectation that everything is going to fall into place and that’s refreshing. I think it’s fair to say many of us had that in January of 2020, but much has changed and in 2021 many have moved away from that outlook. The hope for prosperity hasn’t fully diminished, but it’s more reserved and held closer to the chest than before. The strongest vibe is definitely, “We’ll wait and see” without fully committing to a view. It feels similarly to how sports fans feel at the beginning of a season when no games have been played.

Love in 2021: Four of Swords

Whoa! This is definitely not the hot & spicy vibes I’ve seen in other forecasts and I’m here quirking my eyebrow like, “ho hoo hooooo REALLY NOW?!?!” I resisted the urge to pull clarifiers since this is a collective reading. In a private reading, I would have jumped in this one. Anyways...

This is a sign that romantic standards have gone way up. Standards of lasting connection, what people are willing to put up with when forming partnerships, have raised the bar. And it feels like an ironclad “you’re in or you’re out” energy like someone would sooner slam the door than forgive and give second and third chances. I hear, “SHAPE UP!”

When the pandemic is over and there are more opportunities to date in-person, many will be going in with their guard up and their list of must-haves. Don’t get me wrong; connections can be made in the heat of finally having human contact again, but the choice of whether to be exclusive and commit will have a higher threshold to meet. New partnerships will form only after both parties are sure the other can weather the kind of storms we saw in 2020 and I don’t feel those standards slipping just because someone may feel lonely.

On a related note, I sense a lot of pre-occupation over physical safety being one of the forces behind the heightened standards. What if that hot stranger never wore the mask over their nose in 2020? It sounds a little silly but some of those thoughts will be floating around up there on the first date. The pandemic caused a lot of isolation where one may be stuck with a partner in limited space for a really long time. For 2021, people will want to make sure that the person that they're attaching to is someone who is going to truly be there in all of the ways that are needed and safe (hence the high standards).

I do feel a strong emotional yearning for love and connection (especially for singles), but it doesn’t feel stronger than the need to protect oneself. Even when the bars are open, some will be less willing to take the risks they may have taken in 2018/2019. I’m not picking up this risk in a physical sense like STIs, but more in the head & heart. Emotional risks will be considered more heavily when dating, especially for those who may have experienced a brutal wake-up call in their previous relationships in 2020. The partnered people who are still in unwanted relationships in 2021 will use that heightened standard energy to break things off, especially if the dating pool looks safer later in the year and they see the high standards paying off for their single friends.

Economy/Career in 2021: Page of Swords

This energy feels FRESH and forward-moving and I’m loving it. I see a lot of new business start-ups, especially home-based businesses that operate exclusively online. It feels like a rebirth of the cottage industry (any fellow historians who’ve studied labor history may be getting really excited about how this may impact other areas).

I see a yearning to branch out and make one’s mark, but it's not coming from a place of emotional fulfillment or sense of higher purpose. It’s coming from a place of, “This is what I need to protect my family and this is what I need to get what I want.” Feels heavy and I see earth and fire sign placements. Side hustles will grow to meet this energy, especially for those who may have endured a lot of economic challenges in 2020. The fear of potential loss in 2021 is going to fuel some of this, as many workers no longer feel protected and supported by their employers. Showing true colors in 2020 will have 2021 consequences. A lot of self-centering, self-protection energy means branching out to new jobs, new business, and new ways of earning (such as passive income).

Related to these changes, there will be new attempts to meet the growing demands of working from home. Will they all be successful? With the Page energy, I don’t think so. Some of this will be like throwing spaghetti and seeing what sticks and I feel embarrassed with this energy. Maybe someone comes out with an app that looks really tacky and fumbles hard. However, with the forward moving energy coming largely from the bottom in a decentralized way, I think there will be some successes. The ones who have been overburdened by that unfulfilling corporate job may just snap and run with that big idea they’ve been ruminating on all year in 2020. And with the Page, they’ll learn as they go along because they don't want to wait anymore.

What to Watch Out For in 2021: 10 of Wands

Be careful not to take on too much at once. All the forward movement energy, especially early in the year, will increase the risk of overburdening people who don’t keep their wants and needs in balance. There hasn’t been enough rest, reflection, or recovery on the collective level so the chances of frying oneself are high. I see a blonde woman with dry hair having an outburst in a public place (looks like a Target) and pulling her hair out with crazy eyes. She’s snapped, not because she’s deranged, but because she hit her breaking point and didn’t maintain the tools to decompress that shit. Yikes.

With 2020’s emotional and psychological challenges, many will want to fire off with all engines in 2021, but I wouldn’t recommend that with this Ten of Wands. It feels like “I did too much, I thought I could handle it,” exhaustion when one bites off more than they could chew. It’s important to stress that there’s no way one can undo all of 2020’s damage in a couple months in 2021 based on what I’m feeling with this card. Ten of Wands can be emotionally unstable to the point of causing problems with one’s physical health. Energy-sensitive people especially vulnerable here if they miscalculate how much they can handle early in the year. Maintaining balance within the self (eating healthy, self-care, etc.) is everything while one works on moving forward. You don’t have to stay still and do nothing, but you can take and should remember to eat, you know?

What We Have to Look Forward to in 2021: Queen of Pentacles (Reversed)

No surprises here: a reframing of our collective beliefs about money. The value of money, how we use money, how we approach money is going to change in 2021. It’s coming through as a positive because it’s a lesson learned. I’m seeing a lot of headlines about funding and law enforcement flashing. Queen of Pentacles in Reverse can come through as a negative card, but in this forecast it’s an overall lack of trust that drives the forces of positive change. Collectively, there is an understanding that the support structures we need--especially economically--don't exist, at least not in the way we need them to. And it's going to force us to reframe and make adjustments to our economic structure, even if it’s something small like opening up a high-interest savings account.

On a small scale, this energy will change how we save money and build it. Given the economic forecast, I see this impacting small businesses and small investors looking to increase their revenue streams. The sense of distrust where money is concerned will compel us to innovate and make smarter decisions than we made in 2020. Saving money keeps getting repeated.

On a large scale, this energy may impact beliefs and access related to cryptocurrency and affect how tax dollars are allocated, with more oversight being demanded. Given the civil unrest, the government’s response, and how COVID relief was handled, I’m not surprised to feel collective anger where the “people’s money” is involved. It’s still there in 2021 and is aimed at the piggy bank.

What We are to Remember from 2020: King of Wands (Reversed)

Beautiful energy for a reversal. This card calls us to remember what we were able to accomplish when we worked together in 2020. The year was full of challenges and obstacles, and while we haven't overcome all of them, there were significant developments and innovation in the areas of medicine, telework, distance education, food service, etc.--all to meet the demands the pandemic created. Many of these changes occurred as a result of collaborative efforts to find solutions and significantly, much of that collaboration occurred remotely. It will continue to be a sorely needed requirement, as I see many more opportunities to work together to find solutions to problems in 2021.

The good news in this appears to be that the 2020 trial-and-error in the realm of collaboration will pay off in 2021. I’m seeing a tense but efficient board room meeting where people are quick to throw out stupid ideas and my chest is getting lighter seeing it. If an option didn’t work well in 2020, it looks like we won’t even consider it as an option in 2021. Sounds like a timesaver to me!

That’s all I have for now. Hope you all stay safe and cautiously optimistic in the new year.

#helen's musings #tarot reading #energy reading #2021 forecast #femmeconduit

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stonerbughead · 4 years

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Maria watches friday night lights (#24)

I’m here! The final season! 5x01, here we go.

“Don’t you just love summer in Texas? 7 am and I’m already sweating like a whore in church.” This, set against the montage of summer in Dillon with trash pick up and kids running through a sprinkler, is true perfection.

let’s dive in, under the cut:

Lol is that Tinker driving alongside Vince and Luke running? Hilarious/wholesome image.

Buddy as a radio host really truly makes so much sense. Why didn’t they think of this sooner lmao

Oh my babe Tim!! on the inside but he’s getting out in three months, ok I see that

“I kinda coached you.” “Coach was my coach, billy.” Lmao “You could be a little more enthusiastic.” “Sorry, Billy, but im in prison.” Uh yeah. read the room, Billy!

Oh Tim, my poor babe 😭 wants to be visited *less* by his brother and friend. Abolish prisonssssss ugh

Oh Tami coming into the first staff meeting and immediately proposing the rest of the staff do more work probably isn’t the most strategic choice lol

This reminds me a lot of teacher meetings in season 4 of The Wire, with all of the staff talking about particular problem children the system is failing. And oh boy they all hate a teenage girl named Epyck. “I just wish she wouldn’t come into school.” Uh you should not be a teacher, miss! But also: you all need more resources.

Jess and Vince are as cute as I knew they’d be omg. “I thought you might need help with the laundry.” OKKKK

Ugh poor Becky! her dad is so gross. She’s stuck with her—I’m sure—evil stepmother and half sister? Major yikes!

The idea of Billy working for Eric Taylor is...interesting. And his argument is basically “you are inspirational and could make me a better person under your influence.” Man, only a mediocre white dude could get away with this!

Yessss Devin is still here playing in a band with Landry and that drummer whose name I can’t remember — oh jimmy okay! Devin is still the coolest character in this town.

Wow Landry is playing a show with his hometown band the night before leaving for college? That’s...a choice!

Oh geez something about Buddy and Eric watching mainly Black kids play basketball whilr recruiting for the team...and of course the one Buddy has his eye on is the one white kid lmao I can’t

“I’m not football stupid.” Lol good one.

“Worst instincts of american culture—violence, aggression.” Okay sexy! what’s your name white kid with moves?

“You’re in Texas now. You love the game of football. You just dont know it yet.” LOL

Aww Tami talking about how this girl Epyck all the other teachers hate has never been properly cared for to succeed is exactly why a guidance counselor like her needs to be in East Dillon. but yeah she’s bout to learn REAL fast what lack of funding and institutional racism look like! Eric is right about her not being the big cheese anymore and being able to change everything at once.

“Yes I’m stealing a basketball player but I’m doing it one step at a time.” Lmao

AWWWW Eric saying “I’m gonna miss this” quietly while eating with his family bc Julie’s about to go to college!! My heart.

“Oh boy oh boy” — literally me, physically tensing up, when Billy tried to give his little inspirational speech to the football team toooooo much he is so cringe. OMFG he read “if you can believe it you might achieve it” off a piece of paper from his pocket and attributed it i literally cannot

“The hippie? What for?” Lol that basketball player is considered a hippie in Dillon? Hilarious. The south is wild.

“These kids are being forgotten.” “Tami, it’s a matter of resources.” “I’m your resource!” Yes Tami but you alone cannot fix dozens of kids who are products of being in a system with lack of resources since before they even started elementary school.

Damn big Mary is out franchising and being corporate dad while Jess watches his children?? Not cool.

“So who is this guy?” “He’s not the punter, you wouldn’t be interested.” LMAO VINCE GOOD ONE

Aww Landry came to say goodbye to Mrs. Saracen. Aw he’s going to Rice? That’s a good school.

OMFG Mrs. Saracen has Landry’s music in her MP3 player???? My fucking heart 🥺

Grace is soooo cute holy shit

Oh wow does Crucifictorious or whatever have fans singing along? It’s really nice that Julie went out of her way to go.

Are we contrasting this with an East Dillon farm party? Ew so drunkenly kissing farm animals is what these kids do for fun huh

“I like knowing that I can do whatever I want. I’m a free spirit.” LMAO I hate this guy

“I’m gonna miss this.” “Miss Dillon?” “No I’m gonna miss the Alamo freeze and all their cool treats and hot eats.” LMAOOOO Landry

Omg they’re reminiscing about Matt working at the Alamo freeze. “I miss his little white hat.” L O L

Lol Landry and Julie say their final goodbye in the strip club, nice. “I’ll see you at Christmas.”

Omg Eric searching through their boxes for ping pong paddles so he can play a final game with Julie has my whole heart. Omfg and they found her Girl Scout vest.

Awww they’re playing in the garage, the season 1 vibes, oh my heart.

Oh so is the basketball coach mad about Hastings playing football? Wild culture truly.

(In the end, a teenage boy can’t help but answer the siren call of other teenage boys chanting his name)

Oh poor Andre acting out about their parental neglect at the Classic. Too real but babe it’s not Jess’s fault 😭

Go Tinker!!!

Hastings knowing some strategic info about another team from basketball, very interesting touch.

Wow Hastings somehow doing well without knowing what he’s doing or seemingly understanding football is hilarious.

“Lions win, lions win! Oh, the humanity! Alarm bells are going off all over Texas right now!”

Oh wow it’s happeninggggg

Ewww Becky really has an evil stepmom like Jesus can she have any positive parental figures

Jess and Vince are cute af. Vince helping Andre out 🥺

Honestly yeah I don’t blame Becky for wanting to leave that emotionally abusive household. The found family code in this town is so well established by now. like, Billy is obligated to take Becky in bc Tim considers her family and I’m like, yep!

Ohhh the Taylors sending their first kid off to college, emotional!!!

#maria watches friday night lights #mine #friday night lights 5x01

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badgersighted · 4 years

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PS5 Game Reveal Thoughts

Below the cut I’m gonna write a brief paragraph or sentence or whatever about each of the 25ish games that were revealed last night at the PS5 thing.

Don’t have much to say about this one; I never played GTAV, the series has never really been my thing, but I think it came out in 2013ish? I think the time has been and gone for re-releases and they should be working on the next game. Too much more and this’ll quickly become the new Skyrim/Todd Howard meme.

Okay so I never played Spiderman, but I did watch the cutscenes because I never thought I’d go out and buy it (before I later got it free with a ps4 pro). This is one of those games where, like, I’m not invested but I can both see the appeal and am happy for those who were waiting on it.

I think there’s diminishing returns on realistic racing games. Stuff was coming out on current gen that looked near enough realistic, so it gets excessively hard to tell the difference.

The first one that caught my eye. Despite the last entry being a bastardized, hollow remake that encapsulated everything the original stood against while missing two thirds of the content, R&C has a place in my heart and I hope they can actually get back to standard now they don’t have to work around a terrible movie.

My hot take here is that Ratchet has a wrench and his name is Ratchet. Girl Ratchet has a hammer, ergo her name is Chisel or something. I just wonder if this is a look at the future and Ratchet’s kid, or if it’s an alternate, gender-flipped dimension. In which case Clank would probably be the same because he’s a robot, but I fear for the possibility of Captain Qwark.

Legitimately can’t remember a gosh darned thing about this one.

I feel like the trailer proved that Stray works better as a short film than a game, but I guess we never saw any gameplay to prove that assumption. I like the art direction and you get to be a little kitty cat.

Ellen Degeneres goes to space and the mind fucky wucky happens. I got some Prometheus vibes for this, but the only thing that really left a mark was the aforementioned Ellen jokes we were making on discord.

Fuckin love me some Littlebigplanet, so this was a welcome surprise. Odd to see that they’re not implementing a create mode (as far as we know) but I can see how impossible it is to both make a fully 3d create mode (see: LittleBigPlanetKarting) and also go up against Dreams which was made by Sackboy’s original home studio.

I have a soft spot for LittleBigPlanet’s story modes, though, especially the second game’s - so this will be a welcome addition for me. I just hope they reference the previous stories and don’t act like a plot is something new to the series.

This game feels born out of the hangover of games like Fortnite and Apex Legends, leaving it feeling at least one year outdated. But if it’s your sort of thing, more power to you.

So Kena was another of the more subdued, new IPs that I think a lot of people will have forgotten but I actually quite liked the look of it, or at least some aspects. I’ll always have a soft spot for ‘young girl with bow and arrow’ games but I also liked the art direction and the little puff ball fellas, as well as the bad guy seeming like a legitimate threat in a world that tricks you into thinking it’s all cute. The contrast serves the narrative in that regard.

So following a game I’m interested in is a game I could not be less interested in. Horrendous character design, pseudo-deep narrative that are a dime a dozen for indie tumblr bait visual novels. The logo and the fact they’re [barely recognisable as] dinosaurs presumably suggests this will end in a meteor destroying everything and, frankly, I have never rooted for an inanimate rock more in my life.

This 2d platformer took itself very seriously. I never understood Oddworld nor saw the appeal because its protagonist is very... not nice to look at. But more power to those who wanted a new Oddworld game.

I found this one kind of interesting, then the First Person gameplay kicked in and that very quickly faded. It’s a shame, really; the visuals were really good.

All I got from this is that it’s called Jeff, and it’s a low concept blend of the movie Gravity and Katamari. It’s one of those deep, arty games I’m just honestly too dumb to appreciate. Or maybe it’s false depth.

This is a weird one. I find it intriguing how a game can have so much going on on-screen, and yet none of it stand out. It really does feel like this game pulled inspiration from several places, but failed to embellish or add any value on top of it.

This is another one of those arty games I’m too thick to understand. I’d say it has slight hints of Journey in it, but I never played that so I can’t be certain.

Hitman reminds me of the Community Paul Rudd quote: “I see the appeal, and I wouldn’t take it away from anyone, but I’d also never stand in line for it.”

As much as a corporate Mario Odyssey knockoff as this game may seem, I’m honestly interested as I’m gagging for any Odyssey-adjacent content in my life. It looks like it could be mindless fun, at the very least.

Like JEFF and Solar Ash before it, I don’t know what this game is and I don’t think the trailer did enough to make me want to bother finding out. I liked the big cat dude, though.

Would the world suffer if it didn’t have the same set of games reskinned and rereleased each year, with a single number in the title changed? I never understood the appeal of sportsball games. Is it for the people too unhealthy or too lazy to actually play a sport? Why do they have to make one every year when there’s nothing new? It’s not like the sport has fundamentally changed in a year’s time.

So they had me in the first half expecting a Crash game reveal, I’ll be honest.

But this is, oddly enough, the game I find most interesting of everything we saw here. I have no idea what the fuck it is, but I’m determined to believe there’s hidden meaning - that it’s a satire on Pokemon, that it’s a commentary on the phrase ‘you are what you eat’, that it’s a game that lulls you into a false sense of security and drops you in a horror game like Doki Doki Literature Club. Prove me right, Bugsnax.

I never played the original Demon’s Souls, so I can’t say much on the remake. I don’t even know if Demon’s Souls and Dark Souls are part of the same series.

Are we going to ignore that, fundamentally, this game’s unique selling point is that it has checkpoints?

Full transparency here, I had this game pegged as a Resident Evil game as soon as there was an old man in the trailer, and I’ve never played a Resident Evil game. I just associate old men in video games with horror, and Resident Evil is one of the first horror games that come to mind.

Looks like someone saw Death Stranding and thought “I can do that, too!”

Yeah, well, you can’t.

Given the hype I saw surrounding this game, I feel like I should probably play the first one. I’m just concerned it might not be my sort of thing. It’s one of those things I want to like, but I’m not sure I want to put my money where my mouth is before being sure - so we’re stuck in stalemate.

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aion-rsa · 4 years

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30 Rock’s Best Running Jokes

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When 30 Rock drew its final breath in 2013, yards of column inches were devoted – deservedly so – to praising the work of creator Tina Fey. Article upon article applauded the characters, cast, performances and seven seasons of energetic, inventive, satirical comedy.

More than anything else though, 30 Rock was always about the gags. It was fruitcake-dense with jokes, regularly fitting in more quotable laughs before its opening credits than many shows manage in a full half-hour. As it returns for a one-off reunion special, join us in celebrating the many, many running gags of its seven-season history, from the fake movies, to the terrible yet incredibly catchy songs, Frank’s hats, and those godawful TGS sketches…

The fake movies

The presence of Tracy Jordan (a bonafide Martin Lawrence meets the Wayans Brothers-style movie star) in the TGS cast opened up the world of film parody to 30 Rock.

Admittedly Jenna Maloney also enjoyed a movie career of sorts, but while she was being offered the part of “any blonde actress” in torture porn flicks by the producers who watched and rented Saw, Tracy was turning down the lead in Garfield 3: Feline Groovy to pursue his serious acting career. The latter climaxed with the release of spot-on Precious parody Hard To Watch (Based on the novel Stone Cold Bummer by Manipulate), for which Tracy received the O in his EGOT plan. Sheer class.

Over the years though, who couldn’t not smile at Tracy’s blaxpoitation-filled back catalogue, from the timeless romance of A Blaffair to Rememblack, to Sherlock Homie, Who Dat Ninja?, The Chunks 2: A Very Chunky Christmas, and last but by no means least, Honky Grandma Be Trippin’. The man is a chameleon (in that he’s always a lizard).

Two of Jenna’s TGS projects however, bring back the fondest memories of 30 Rock’s stinging movie satire: small-town legal drama The Rural Juror (based on a Kevin Grisham novel), and her GE-produced life rights-avoiding Janis Joplin biopic, Sing Them Blues White Girl: The Jackie Jormp Jomp Story.

The TGS sketches

The quality of TGS’ output was never under question in 30 Rock; the sketch show was unremittingly bad (when the absence of their star meant a ‘Best of TGS’ series had to be run in lieu of live shows, Legal objected to their use of the word ‘Best’, and when a review dubbed it the worst comedy ever made, Liz was thrilled they’d defined it as a comedy). Liz Lemon’s opus was a fluorescent collection of fart gags, dodgy caricatures, Jenna’s songs, and misjudged celebrity impressions.

Beginning life as, in Kenneth’s words, “a real fun ladies comedy show for ladies”, TGS was Saturday Night Live’s idiot brother, the unsophisticated thorn in NBC’s side, under constant threat of controversy and cancellation. Forced to synergise backward overflow, advertise parent company products and promote GE interests, 30 Rock’s show-within-a-show satirised both the TV industry and tired trends in comedy (the always hilarious combination of a fat woman who’s sexually confident! Old ladies are crazy! Farts!).

Lemon may have seduced pilot Carol (Matt Damon) with her Fart Doctor skits, but TGS failed to win many hearts. With sketches like Pam the Overly Confident Morbidly Obese Woman, Ching-Chong Man Who Loves to Play Ping-Pong, Fat Hillary Clinton, Bear vs. Killer Robots, Me Want Food, and Gaybraham Lincoln, why it wasn’t more successful is a mystery.

Astronaut Mike Dexter

Lemon may have ended up with James Marsden’s Criss Chros, but fictional boyfriend Astronaut Mike Dexter will always hold a special place in her heart. Handsomer than Dr Drew, less British than Wesley Snipes, less living-in-Cleveland than Floyd, and a million times better than Dennis Duffy, Astronaut Mike Dexter had it all… except of course, a corporeal self.

The fake songs

Over the years, Jenna Maroney’s singing career has vomited up some truly dreadful creations, and topping the list has to be Muffin Top (a big hit in the king-making music markets of Israel and Belgium). Seguing from its pop insanity chorus “My muffin top is all that, wholegrain, low-fat” into a Madonna-style spoken-word rap “I’m an independent lady, so please don’t try to play me. I run a tidy bakery. The boys all want my cake for free”, the song is a battery assault on the senses.

But is it worse than Jenna’s summer dance jam, Balls, which earned her the princely sum of $50 in royalties? Or her computer generated, generic benefit song in aid of an unspecific natural disaster, which urged viewers to donate to “help the people the thing that happened, happened to”? How about the Jackie Jormp Jomp performance she gave of Chunk Of My Lung, written by Jack five minutes before the show, containing the classic line “You know you’ve bought it if life makes you sweet food”? Or Fart So Loud, the un-Weird Al-able song she and Tracy wrote after he parodied the theme to Avery Jessup TV movie Kidnapped? Such riches…

It’s not only Jenna who’s provided 30 Rock’s musical intervals of course. Season three finale Kidney Now! welcomed an eclectic collection of stars including Sheryl Crow, Mary J Blige, Elvis Costello, Moby, two of the Beastie Boys, Wyclef Jean, and Cyndi Lauper to perform a We Are The World-style anthem at the Milton Green benefit gig. Angie Jordan famously released a fifteen-second single My Single Is Dropping, to ride on the wave of her reality-show fame, Frank and Pete’s Sound Mound came up with unforgettable rock anthem Weekend Woman, and in the very same episode, even Tina Fey got in on the action by providing excellent Joni Mitchell parody, Paints and Brushes.

The legacy award though, as in the 30 Rock fake song that will continue to bring joy to the hearts of fans decades from now, has to go to one song, and one song only: Tracy Jordan’s Werewolf Bar Mitzvah.

Frank’s hat slogans

Off-set, stand-up Judah Friedlander favours his ‘World Champion’ trucker hat, the one he claims to have been awarded as the winner of the World Championships of pretty much all sports, martial arts, and that time he karate kicked Chuck Norris’ beard off his face and forced him to legally change his name to Charles.

On-set as Frank Rossitano though, Friedlander wears a series of self-designed trucker hats, each bearing a different gnomic slogan. Often incongruous, sometimes suggestive, and always odd, Frank’s hat slogans are part of the bricks and mortar of 30 Rock. In terms of favourites, we’re quite fond of ‘Alabama Legsweep’, or the laconic enigma of ‘And’, though ‘Shark Cop’, ‘Half Centaur’ and ‘Space Gravy’ also caught our eye over the seasons.

Jenna’s Mickey Rourke sex stories

Like Dot Com’s intellectualism, this running gag may have been introduced late into proceedings, but Jenna’s torrid sexual history with putty-faced beefcake Mickey Rourke gave J-Mo some of her best lines. Jenna’s allusions to Rourke’s sexually deviant and murderous attempts on her life paint a fascinating picture for 30 Rock fans. Here are some of the finest:

“Your new vibe is a double-edged sword, much like the kind Mickey Rourke tried to kill me with”, “Nice try Hazel, but you made the same mistake Mickey Rourke made on that catamaran. You didn’t kill me when you had the chance.”, “I’m going to have to reinvent you. Break you down completely and build you up from scratch. Just like Mickey Rourke did to me sexually.” “Next time you’ll tell me Mickey Rourke catapulted you into the Hollywood sign.” “You know what they say, if you can’t stand the heat, get off Mickey Rourke’s sex grill.” Wise words.

Kenneth the immortal page

To this day Kenneth Ellen Parcell remains something of an enigma to 30 Rock viewers. In later seasons, Jack McBrayer’s character went from being a simple country rube from Stone Mountain, Georgia to the flesh vessel for a mysterious immortal with no reflection, no age, and links to a world beyond our own.

Plenty of reference has been made to Kenneth’s ageless and supernatural state over the years, including the suggestion that not only is he unable to die, but he’s also an angel, sent to oversee the transition of souls from one world to the next.

The fake TV shows

It’s either a credit to the 30 Rock team or a condemnation of our times that Jack Donaghy’s hit reality viewer vote show, MILF Island, no longer feels like a parody. In generations to come, time will no doubt erode the boundaries between fact and fiction, and we 30 Rock fans will be telling our kids about the time we watched Deborah beat her competitors and claim MILF victory in the same breath as educating them about those people who ate kangaroo anuses for public approval.

MILF Island stands head and shoulders above the rest of 30 Rock’s fake TV shows (including TGS itself, lest we not forget), but that doesn’t mean that Gold Case, Los Amantes Clandestinos, Black Frasier, Homonym, or the inimitable Bitch Hunter deserve any less respect. Our fallen brothers, we salute you.

We could go on indefinitely listing the recurring jokes that made 30 Rock great, from Liz’s sandwich lust and desire to go to there, to Jack’s gloriously thatched head of hair and Republican conspiracies. As the show prepares to return, which of the above will live again?

30 Rock: A One-Time Special lands on NBC on Thursday July 16th at 8pm in the US.

The post 30 Rock’s Best Running Jokes appeared first on Den of Geek.

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travllingbunny · 5 years

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The 100 6x03 The Children of Gabriel

The last episode was a character-based one focused on our protagonists and the issues simmering below the surface, which came out during the eclipse-induced psychosis. This one was very much focused on world-building, and was such an overload of new information about two new groups of potential antagonists that I had to watch it twice to pick up all of it. But while there was no time for any longer talks about feelings and character stuff, there were quite a few small and/or subtle character moments that were quite meaningful.

We finally get the introduction of Russell Lightbourne (JR Bourne), the leader of the „peaceful“ society of Sanctum, and a few other characters, including his wife Simone, and we get a look at how their society works; and we also meet, for the first time, the mysterious people who are lurking in the woods and appear to be some sort of a rebel/guerrilla group, and who are referred to as „the children of Gabriel“. The first thing I did after seeing the episode was to make a Twitter poll: „Who is creepier?“ with the third option: „Both are super creepy“. At the moment, Russell’s people are presented as pseudo-good guys, but everything about them all but screams that their society is very sinister. The „children of Gabriel“, on the other hand, are presented as pseudo-antagonists, and while I’m more inclined to see them as potential not-so-bad-guys, I would hesitate to call them good, either: they are very grey. And both groups give off cult vibes. It’s possible that there really are no good guys among the people on this planet – or if there is a someone else that may be a good guy, that it’s a third faction that we haven’t met yet – at least not in the present.

The hijackers from 6x02 indeed belonged to Russell’s people, so for a society that’s supposedly „peaceful“, they sure didn’t make a good first impression. Kaylee – that’s apparently the name of the woman who’s the sole survivor of that group of four – was blaming the Earthkru for killing three of them, while saying „we hurt no one“. Err, you came in masked, attacked their ship, tried to hijack it and took people captive. Of course they defended themselves, what the heck did you expect?! New planet, but yet again we have to deal with hypocritical people who attack the protagonists and then blame them for defending themselves.

There’s no way that Russell and his society aren’t bad guys, right? They are elitist, self-righteous, judgmental, hypocritical, they believe in "special bloodlines" and treating some people as "disposable", they give off creepy cult vibes, Russell straight up makes a comparison between his society and Mount Weather after having heard the story about them – and while I don’t think that Sanctum people are too similar to Mountain Men, as I point out here, this is a big hint that this society is very sinister. They are giving me Capitol vibes (minus the actual Hunger Games, because they’re anti-violence). Including the bad kind of pacifism - the “war is terrible, but oppression, classism and treating people as disposable is OK, so anyone taking up arms to rebel against us is evil”. And I'm pretty sure they have been doing some sort of a mind transfer of the Primes (members of the four founding families from the Eligius 3 mission) into the brains of "hosts" (apparently, being a Nightblood makes you a suitable host) in a ceremony they call „Naming“. This may be technically just speculation at this point, but it’s really, really strongly hinted.

My theory on the „Naming“ ceremony however, is different than the popular opinion in the fandom that the Primes fully take over the bodies of the „hosts“ and that the hosts disappear I don't think it's a full replacement, but more like an upgrade, where the host is changed and the Prime is supposed to be in the driving seat. (Maybe it’s because I’m thinking of the skinchanging in A Song of Ice and Fire and some of the storylines in Dollhouse.) For starters, Delilah was not happy about becoming a Prime, but she didn’t seem to think that she would disappear and her body would be simply overtaken by someone else – and I think she would be way more freaked out if that were the case. Similarly, even in a cult, I can’t see parents being happy for their children to become Primes if it meant that their bodies are overtaken and that they basically disappear. And it would also make it a lot more interesting storyline – especially if the fandom speculation about in Clarke becoming a host for Josephine is correct (and it probably is, in some form – there are quite a few hints towards that, and the setup happened in this episode, when Rose, the blonde little girl who was meant to be a host for a Prime, was kidnapped/rescued by the Children of Gabriel). If the hosts were fully overtaken by the Primes, then this takeover is either never going to happen, or will never be full or will last very short, and Clarke will be saved. But if Clarke and Josephine can co-exist in the same brain for some time, this may open new storytelling possibilities – where Clarke is obviously not going to be obliterated by Josephine, but the two may co-exist in the same brain and body, fight for dominance but also possibly even be allies and work together, so to speak, and maybe help each other? This could indeed be the „acting challenge“ for Eliza Taylor that so many of the cast and crew have talked about.

But what kind of technology exactly are they using to transfer minds? The most likely theory is that it is derived from an early, less developed prototype of the chip/Flame, which Becca already worked on before the apocalypse. There are too many ties between Eligius Corporation, Becca and the Second Dawn. Madi will be in real danger if/when Russell and co. find out about the Flame.

The Children of Gabriel are more mysterious of the two group so far. Unlike the Sanctum people, they may end up being more on the (relatively) good side, and they're rebels fighting against the eternal dominance and prolongation of life of the Primes - but they still planned to kill the hosts as the B-plan if they couldn't kidnap/rescue them. So, killing the Primes is more important than protecting/saving people. Their chanting "death is life" and "death to Primes" also sounds cult-like (even though I think the words themselves are less sinister than they first sound, as they probably refer to stopping the endless cycle of Primes replicating themselves), and they are mostly motivated by trying to impress or get back into the good graces of "the Old Man"... Is the Old Man Gabriel? I don’t know how he would still be alive, but I feel he is – but not through the same means as the other Primes are prolonging their lives, because CoG hate the Primes and what they do. In any case, this group seems just to be a group of guerrilla fighters, who have also infiltrated the Sanctum – but we haven’t seen whatever larger group of people they are part of, or what their settlements look like. Have they been cast out by the „Old Man“?

Some big hints about the history of the planet were dropped: Gabriel is considered a "demon" and hated by Russell and his people, who tell the story of how he thought he could walk on water after being bitten by the snake whose poison works as an antidote to the seaweed poison. (The snake that was named by Josie.) Meanwhile, Russell Lightbourne is worshiped as a savior. But it is Russell who has the last name that's very similar to "Lucifer" (which means lightbearer), even though Gabriel seems to be the one who was cast out of this "paradise", or didn't want to be a part of it. And apparently, Russell has the same first name as Sean Maguire’s character we met in the flashback in 6x02, the astronomer and Josie’s father – and is probably his latest incarnation. But Russell was the one who killed many of the original Primes during his eclipse-induced psychosis, shouting „Sanctum is mine“, while Gabriel, the geneticist, Josie’s boyfriend, was the one who got away and survived. So what is going on? False history?

But while the new characters and societies are intriguing, what is more interesting is how it all affects our protagonists. I don't know how long it will be till they start realizing that how sinister this peaceful society is (they don’t have all the info they need as of now), but right now, they are too focused on the fact that they need someone to teach them how to survive on this planet (with not just eclipse-induced psychosis, but also poison seaweed, swarms of bugs, meat-eating trees and so many other weird and dangerous things), which is why trying to convince them to accept them into their society seems to them, understandably, like the best course of action.

At the same time, the fact that Clarke, Bellamy and the others want to find peace and be the „good guys“ as Monty told them, is another reason why they are likely to try to see Russell’s people in a good light. I feel like Sanctum is going to be a temptation to Clarke in particular (based on this episode and trailer hints) for multiple reasons, and they are already trying to suck her in. It feels like a peaceful, happy place, with things that she has only read about and maybe seen on videos but never in real life – such as dogs. (Having an adorable dog come up to you is truly one of the biggest temptations possible.) She gets to wear beautiful dresses, Russell acts nice to her, and kind of looks like her father. But her emotional state is especially making her vulnerable. She feels so much guilt and wants to do better, wants to ensure this better life for her people, while Russell and Simone (playing a good cop/bad cop) are interrogating her about the supposedly terrible past of her and her people. They are sitting there at a table with a huge banquet made just for three people, somewhere in their Renaissance Fair-like castle, and being judgmental about the things they did to survive or protect their loved ones. And now that they know that she is a Nightblood, she is a target – but how far would Clarke go to try to ensure her people stay in Sanctum? Would she even agree to be a host, both for them and because she’s had self-loathing and suicidal thoughts, so losing herself into someone else’s consciousness may be additionally appealing to her in her current state?

Some themes that have always followed Clarke’s character are: privileged background (reflected in her nickname „Princess“, which I think fans tend to romantcize way too much), tendency to take on too much responsibility, to take charge, but also to isolate herself, desire to save people (which may be either saving everyone – or just saving those she loves), ruthlessness in pursuit of that goal, self-sacrifice. One of the repeated situations throughout the show is: other leaders who have been Clarke’s allies/friends/occasional antagonists would tell her that she is "born to lead" just like they are (which may be just about her personal qualities and tendency to take charge and responsibility in tough situations, but also has some other, less pleasant connotations, when said by people who are royalty/„special bloodlines“ – for being born with Nightblood like Lexa, or as a son of a Queen, as Roan), and try to encourage her to treat people as disposable, as a part of making tough decisions. But no one has been so blatant about it to actually use the word „disposable“, as Russell has. And now he also thinks that Clarke literally has „royal blood“. (The funny thing about it is – she doesn’t, she became Nightblood through science. Emori was very close to becoming one instead. But you know what's even funnier? Everyone who is Nightblood /on Earth or on Sanctum/Alpha- became that through science, or their ancestors did. Of course, valuing people for their bloodline is nonsense, period.)

But Clarke had a few great moments in this episode that made me very happy. First she refused to bow to Russell, and then when she made it clear to Russell that she is going to risk herself first, not anyone else, and that „None of us are (disposable)“. But since those were things I expected, I was particularly happy that Clarke refused to be guilt-tripped about Mount Weather and made it clear that she wasn't going to apologize for saving the people she loves from those trying to murder them. YES. People have made Clarke feel guilty about that way too many times. What she, Bellamy and Monty did was the right thing to do, and most of the adults on Mount Weather were not innocent.

Murphy’s clinical death experience opens up a very interesting and completely new storyline. We’ve had characters talking about what they think happens after death, but (outside of characters whose minds are being preserved in the Flame), this is the first time someone has come close to seeing or thinking they had seen what happens after death. But is this really a normal clinical death experience, or did Murphy have hallucinations while still unconscious, caused by the poison or the antidote? It’s the first time anyone on the show has mentioned the concept of people going to hell due to their sins. I can’t wait to see what character development this causes in Murphy.

There wasn’t much talk about what happened during the eclipse-induced psychosis, which makes sense – people are simply aware that they weren’t really to blame and no one is holding it against anyone (not to mention that they have so much urgent stuff to deal with), but the deeper emotional issues are something that we know about and that I expected to be addressed later in the season. Naturally, they addressed what happened to Murphy the most, since they nearly lost him. Emori was as loving and caring to him as she was violent and murderous during the psychosis, and felt guilty over attacking him, while Bellamy comforted her pointing out that Murphy’s condition was not her fault but his. (These two had some very nice friendship moments in season 5, and it’s nice to see that again.) Bellamy and Murphy had a very warm friendship moment, and Raven showed her relief and happiness about him being alive in her usual snarky manner.

On the other hand, while Bellamy and Clarke didn’t talk about what happened during the psychosis, or what happened during season 5 (yet – we know from the trailer that a big conversation is coming, just not when), they confirmed the trust they have in each other through actions, and small moments of exchanging meaningful looks. Bellamy showed that he still trusts in Clarke’s ability to be again a leader and ambassador of their people– although it was, at the same time, a smart decision and quick thinking. Russell got the impression Clarke was the leader, from the way she was the one asking questions (which happened mostly because she was asking about Murphy’s condition, and later in particular when she was showing concern for Madi – these are the things that spur her into action), and, as Bellamy pointed out, Russell seems to like her, so it was a good idea to use that. Raven was rolling her eyes* (this happened shortly after she angrily remarked „I didn’t know you were giving orders again, Clarke“), and I wonder if she again thinks that Bellamy is „taking Clarke’s orders“ or „a knight by his queen’s side“ or whatever she thought in season 3, which wasn’t really true back then either – but that would especially be funny now, since Bellamy wasn’t relinquishing leadership at all: he has been the one telling everyone what to do and did that right after that scene, after Russell left, and no one has a problem with taking his orders. (Except Octavia, who’s not listening to anyone and still does whatever she wants.) In fact, telling Russell „She is. She can speak for us“ was also kind of giving Clarke a role – so he felt he needed to explain his reasons to her, immediately after Russell left. And unlike Raven, he is not threatened by Clarke being perceived as the leader, and her being his co-leader (one whose role is more of an ambassador who gets to interact with the other leader) is a return to a familiar dynamic that works.

Bellamy taking the responsibility to get Madi from the dropship and saying „I promise“, and Clarke silently accepting that and trusting him with her daughter’s safety, was a really important moment and callback to the most painful moments between them in season 5. It shows they are healing from the terrible misunderstandings – and that Clarke is now thinking about everything differently than she did at the time. Back then, she saw Bellamy’s actions, after he had promised her to keep Madi safe, as a deep, awful betrayal, but now she seems to understand that he saw putting the Flame in Madi as a way to protect Madi and Clarke and everyone else. It’s funny that the fandom was expecting a big and long separation between these two, but instead, they were reunited in the same episode – and the show still managed to use the short separation to show Bellamy walking away and looking back, and Clarke looking at him leaving with a sad, longing look (only interrupted by the adorable dog), and then a reunion with „you kept your promise“ heart-eyes.

*At this point, I feel a bit fed up with the constant bitter and angry remarks Raven is constantly throwing at Clarke. She has reasons to feel angry over Clarke’s betrayal in season 5, but it’s time they talk it out, because this is kind of annoying, especially when it’s the only thing Raven gets to do in the episode. Diyoza was amazing

A lot of people have remarked on the awkwardness of the hug between Bellamy and Echo, and there have been lots of comments about actor chemistry etc. – but thinking that acting choices are random or dictated by how actors feel about a fictional relationship is pretty insulting to the actors, and directors and editors, and also doesn’t make much sense: people who make the show are not incompetent, and all the moments of Bellamy showing more emotion and interest for Clarke compared to how he is with Echo, cannot be accidental, just like it can’t be accidental that there are so many times all three are framed within the same shot, with Echo positioned as the third wheel rather than Clarke. Echo herself may be increasingly noticing this, just as she may have noticed that Bellamy is valuing Clarke’s opinions more than hers or at least tends to agree with and side with her more. Echo suggested fighting, Clarke retorted that they should instead try to be friends and be welcomed in that society, and Bellamy said nothing, but obviously supported Clarke’s position later. (In season 5, when they were still on the ship and Clarke-less, Echo and Bellamy also had a big difference in opinion when Echo was suggesting they killed the 300 prisoners in their cryo-sleep, but Bellamy shut that down quickly, and Echo then agreed with him.) This could make her think that psychosis!Emori was right when she called her a spy „serving her master“, once again, which provoked Echo’s hallucination of her past with the Ice Nation and Queen Nia.

One thing that Echo decided and Bellamy wasn’t too happy about, but did not protest, was inviting Octavia to come with them and Raven to help bring Madi and others from the dropship. He probably realized that it was for the best that they take Octavia as far away from people they wanted to convince that they’re good and peaceful. But Echo may have done it as a combination of hoping Octavia and Bellamy reconcile – because she thinks it would be good for him – and because she values the fact that Octavia is a strong fighter. She respects people who are capable and can be ruthless (which is why she doesn’t blame Clarke, either), and the idea that it’s good to use Octavia’s abilities is similar to what Bellamy initially told her at the end of season 4, that she’ll be useful for them because she’s strong and can help them survive.

But Bellamy is not able to be so chill about things when Octavia is concerned. And she went and confirmed all the worst things he thought about her: that she is not trying to change at all, isn’t admitting any mistakes, and is going to use violence and kill people as her first choice, even when it’s not necessary. The fact that even Diyoza angrily pointed out that it wasn’t necessary shows that this was the case. Leaving Octavia behind may seem very harsh from Bellamy, as is his line that his sister died a long time ago, but I like the fact that he’s sticking to his guns and cutting her out of his life and not allowing her to be a part of the group before she shows a will to change, because an insta-forgiveness/ acceptance would prevent her from even trying – and would harm everyone else, too. At the same time, I don’t think he really wants her to die, contrary to what she said – it was obvious on his face how painful the decision was for him - and I don’t think he really thinks she will (Octavia is capable, has a sword, and has survived a lot of things before). He thinks that she needs to have her own soul-searching on her own – which is probably right.

Not that Octavia will be by herself, since she immediately attacked and got captured by the Children of Gabriel, led by a new character Xavier (Chuku Modu). Ironically, she may end up being the first to learn more about and maybe see the perspective of that group of people (after killing three of them for no good reason) – even though the first interactions are less than pleasant.

Another person who may get in touch with them is Diyoza, who got cast out of Sanctum by Russell, in spite of being 6 months pregnant, after he learned who she was. (I guess they don’t practice keeping people in prison for any longer period of time.) According to him, her reputation as an evil terrorist is so bad that her picture is in their history books next to Hitler and Bin Laden. So how come they didn’t recognize her immediately? Unless he is exaggerating. Diyoza’s backstory is something I really, really want to know more about. Diyoza herself claimed in S5 that she was fighting against a „fascist“ government. Somehow I feel that she wasn’t really the evil one, especially when Russell and her people hate her.

Diyoza was amazing in this episode, again, and is quickly rising even more on my list of favorite characters. She was a no-nonsense and capable military person that she always is, and made snarky remarks to Gaia about the whole Madi being a Commander thing, basically that she should leave Madi alone to just be a child. Madi was herself a bit annoyed with Gaia’s lessons and snarky, but then felt just as insulted as Gaia when Diyoza made her comments, because she does take the Flame and her role seriously.

When Madi mentioned the scary, evil „Dark Commander“ (Sheidheda) that she sees in her dreams, Diyoza seemed like she had an idea who it may be. Someone from Second Dawn? It’s been speculated that it was Cadogan, though the figure seen in the trailer is not played by the same actor. (BTW, I know that Sheidheda means „Dark Commander“ (shade –dark, heda = commander), but I can’t be the only one thinking that the writers or the guy creating the Grounder speech had a sense of humor and intentioanlly made it sound like Sh*ithead?)

Jordan was adorable, and his romance with Delilah was as cute as insta-romances between two cute people who have just met can be, when they have nice chemistry - but he’s starting to learn that he shouldn’t trust people so easily and that his naivete can be very harmful to the group. He can’t go on being treated and acting as a child in a body of a man in his mid-20s.

This was a nice setup for the rest of the season.

Rating: 8/10

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