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craycraybluejay · 7 months

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I purposely put myself in situations that inspire and stoke less than healthy patterns or put myself closer to said situations and then wonder why im feeling all insane. I think I want to convince myself that it's 'all temporary' and that whatever happened before in my head won't happen again. But it will. If only I could go off the deep end in one fell swoop in every way ever. Even that horrible thing you're thinking about, whatever it is. Yes, even that one. Just do everything terrible ever and then end it with suicide which is also Terrible Thing bc God forbid someone has autonomy over a life he not only didn't ask for but was given little reason to stay in. Ruin everyone's opinion of me. Inspire only fear and vitriol. Hatred and hurt and pain pain PAIN. Sure! I am a bad person! What are you going to do about it! By the time you figure out enough to send a mob after me, I'll already be long dead. You'll have to wash the smell of rot out of your fucking walls. Bitch.

Wish I could just. Grow from morbid into truly heinously unforgivable like that corpse flower. Despite what anyone believes, it would be growth. Just in a different, undesirable form. But wouldn't it be rad just to go apeshit? For a final trigger to send me bouncing round the walls intent on seeing blood? Everyone would hate me. That would be ok. I don't mind. People can feel how they feel. I know I unnerve people. It's like they can see the thoughts behind my eyes. Tick-tock, tick-tock; counting down into the next impassioned tirade. Is it about music or hurt? Or both? Breaking or building. Corruption or innocence. Life, death, rainbows and bloodbaths. Madness pulling at the corners. "Why are you staring?" I don't know. Your left forearm has taken a starring role in my next idea. It's not personal. Or maybe I like your smile. Or maybe I actually do just wonder how you look when you bleed. You'll never really know. Might be all of the above.

Sometimes the demon overtakes. I wouldn't say I have a split personality disorder, I don't really fit the criteria. I gave him a name though. Anyway he does that. And then suddenly I am not in a harmonic split of choice and rationale. A correct and healthy balance of right and wrong, good and bad. Suddenly I am tilted, the entire world is tilted, I feel dizzy and I don't know if it's somewhat physical or all mental. Everything shifts. Things mean something different. I'm more alien and darker. And that little voice (not an actual voice, no hallucination) is urging urging urging like it's the end of times, and we only have 24 hours left on Earth and nothing to lose. That whim? Do it. The other one too. You know you want to. What? Too pussy? Coward. Come on. You know me. I'm you. What's stopping you?

And then rationale and logic and all that are on the Defensive. No. Don't do it. Fight it. [More of the demons temptations.] Okay. Maybe do it a little but only in a really roundabout way that doesn't hurt anyone. Okay. Let's maybe go for a smoke. Let's close our eyes and fantasize. Think think think. Fight it. [More More More.] Hey maybe we should talk to someone? [Who is there to talk to? You're a freak. You say any of this shit to anyone they'll try to put a stop to it by treating you worse than farm animals. Worse than garbage. They deserve to die. They think you deserve to die. Doesn't that make you angry?] Okay so that's not an option. Um. Just hit something solid really hard until you're too tired to fixate. I don't know. [Aw. Is it not working? Little tired of rationality, aren't we? Relax. Let go. Don't think. Just do. Shoot first, questions later. Imagine how easy and simple things would be. They already are. Let me take care of you.] Tired tired tired. War.. Bed. Now. Don't look at anyone. Don't touch anything. Don't speak. Don't THINK. Shh quiet quiet quiet. [You can't silence me, idiot. I am you. What's the point of this? Who are you appeasing? There is a hell but there is no God. This isn't a war. There are no sides.] [Indulge.] Indulge. [Give.] Give. [Take.] Take.

#personal vent #delete later #multiple personalities #to be clear i am not claiming to have did or anything like that. you guys can have your system stuff and whatnot thats not me #mental breakdowns #its every day bro B)#its usually not as bad as is written here but thats just an example of a moderate day of it #without getting into specifics #just moderate #but the demon does get specific. he likes to tease and insult but it doesnt make me feel sad. worse. invigorated #actually schizospec #psycho in a way thats only hot to psycho chasers because im being super fucking vague about the possible subject matter #moment i get specific im getting more threats than your average US elementary school #edgy joke #does anyone else have something like this?#in a psychosexual downright toxic psychotic relationship with my demon which is just me but with a weird shift #like putting ur car in reverse. idk bruh. idk how to explain it #him talking to me is one thing. i can still take back control if i snap out of the trance. but when he overtakes literally the whole world #looks different. like actually literally different. like fucking. imagine if everything that was green was suddenly just 1 hex point darker #slightly darker green. madness inducing.#i. dont know what i want. i just want to feel in full harmony. i want to indulge the demon. i dont want to. i do. i dont. i #i think i just need to get in a good slapfight or tussle once in awhile and clear my head good #tell my friends 'hit me' when i feel the world sliding off to the side a bit and hope the momentary shock will fix it #idk does that work?

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oathkeeperoxas · 2 years

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Me: there’s way too many codywan events going on at the moment. We don’t need another one

Dark Kermit version of me: run a codywan battleship event

#1v1 probably?#or maybe like people could pick to be on a team if they wanted to be... like if you wanted to only make 1 or 2 things #but if you wanted to go 1v1 you could have this option #I'll be honest I just want someone to play this with me so I'm projecting a world where this is possible kjdfkjdh #personal #but like... if its 1v1 then you can pick the 100 tags your opponent has to hit #and in a team it could be crowd sourced between team members #and maybe theme it? like if one team only wants to write mostly fluff #vs a 1v1 where they're open to angst/darker themes #so could pair people/teams up that way #thinking about it is. making my brain SO wrinkly #but to repeat: there are SO MANY codywan events happening rn #like the au fest #reverse bang still posting #big bang starting sign ups #the remix event #theres an exchange being done in the cww discord server #thats just off the top of my head #so uh yeah. anyway. i will continue to daydream about it

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mothheart · 1 year

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I started exploring my first chasm for the robbie quest and whewww. Really just getting started here huh

#its soooooo cool #i knew from the first time at hyrule castle that 'zelda' was probably not actually zelda #and the more i find the more i think shes probably some kind of illusion being used by ganondorf (?) to further his hold on hyrule #/ progress his agenda until hes got his own corporeal form to use. well. one that isnt a corpse #seeing everyone talk about zelda and how worried they are and how much they miss her .... they all love her so much 😭#that little girl in hateno who checks zelda's house every day 😭😭 and she saw illusion zelda too #and. the big storypoint locations ive reached thus far are death mountain and rito village #both are very spooky. now i really need to see gerudo town and zora's domain lol #im still like. waiting. to see. if they hold up on 'darker than majoras mask' yes. i will hold them to this bc i mean. thats a big thing #but storywise so far. i can see it #i love the rito village music so much but i dare not even try to search it to listen to lest i see the most spoilery thumbnail in the #search results. lol #i <3 being a social media hermit. i know nothing that is going on. i should do this more ofteb #my biggest thought is this is the same cherished botw experience while also managing to REALLY feel like a zelda game #im so happy #i jabe a lot of thoughts stay tuned or whatever #totk spoilers #tears of the kingdom spoilers #miles rambles

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pocketramblr · 1 year

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me, Pocket "family trees" Ramblr, looking at this new lass in the trailer: now you aren't going to believe what my theory is here-

#i think shes the dauGHTER OF ORIGINAL FLAVOR LINK #we'll take the literal 'blood of ganon in his veins' idea plus the fact that loz1 sprites are a bit darker skinned than successive ones #the fairy influences on the gal's style? ya her da's part time fairy #plus whichever zelda he married (holding out as i am for it being game one princess not game two)#kiddos gonna inherit a LOT of magic with everything going on #and when the blood curse on her dad's unleashed? thats calamity baby #thats 10000 years of blood moons #and a warning in prophecy that sealing powers she inherited from her mother can only last so long #its NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN but what if this girlie has a moment thinking about the red triforce on her father's hand. i'd keel over #n e way thats just my silly little theory shes probably like #none of those things at all #totk spoilers #i guess. lightly

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micamicster · 2 years

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happy saturday! unpopular opinions on supernatural?

bestie do you want me dead? is it death you want for me?

honestly I don't think there's anything controversial left to say about supernatural lol it's all been said... like idt there are any truly unpopular opinions to have...? Like no matter what I say someone is out there saying something absolutely batshit. but I'll do my best!

I think you do need to watch season 1-3 in order to fully enjoy destiel (something something a break in a pattern is only compelling if you're familiar with what's being disrupted). A completest gatekeeping stance to have, which is funny because i'll also never watch late season spn no matter how much cas in funny hats they throw at me I Stopped When I Stopped <3

I think that 99% of fanfiction cas is out of character but i'll read it anyway because their dean is usually good (my toxic deangirl trait)

Hbo spn was/is? are people still on that? A dumb concept. What's fun about spn is that it's low budget and campy and doesn't take itself too seriously, in the tradition of the b horror movies it's built on! If it was on hbo it would be exactly as racist and misogynistic as it currently but it would think it was Prestige Television. And that's before people start arguing for lana dl ray to be on the soundtrack (no. shut up.)

#wait yeah thats a controversial opinion that last one i actually have a lot of takes on that #people were like ohh it could be Darker on hbo! literally what do u people want #ok take that back the one compelling thing about that concept is that they would be able to say Fuck #like half the misogyny in spn is due to bitch being the only swear they can say i s2g #supernatural rewatch #sleepover saturday! come hang out <3

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sharp-tooths · 6 months

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Hm i love being so tired that now im sleeping in my dreams and ive JUST has my very first dream in a dream bc my mental heath is just blegh but this is the 2nd night in a row where an unwanted entity has made itself comfy with harassing me in MY own room in my sleep and i know its an unwanted entity bc the fucker is pushing back against my energy shifts so in my dream tonight when i started dreaming i felt it come in and when i tried to make it leave it pushed back HARD and tried to paralyze me in my dream but i got up anyways and when i told someone to get rid of it for me cause im too tired to do it myself this time it let me wake up for real.

I know this is fuckin weird, but i am sensitive to energies, and talkin about it right after it happens helps me. I did accidently start ranting in the tags so i wasnt able to tag this as vent cause i reached the tag limit, srry about that.

Its midnight now anyways, whos gonna read this

#yea ive been doin bad mentally #and im rlly stressed about my health in general #which yea makes me have more nightmares #but these arent nightmares #trust me if its a stress based nightmare it wouldve been like the one i had where my mom didnt believe me about the monster #that sounds so childish described like that but it was pretty dark.#abandoned house in the middle of the woods thats just always darker than everything else and you KNOW somethings in there #cause its not in the woods #but when you tell your mom that its too dangerous she makes you go into the house anyways #or what about that dream i had where i was in a fucked up simulated ' ' 'minecraft(dream supplied word)' ' ' world #where everything is always dark and theres nothing and no one else there but monsters who wanna kill you #and not even the normal minecraft monsters #idk what to even call that thing but it was fucking massive and fucking terrifying #it was a very. hopeless feeling world. especially when i got lost in the caves and when i got into the abansoned house on that things back #and it spotted me through the windows #those are my stress fuled nightmares.#no what ive had for the past 2 days is an uninvited guest trying to MAKE me let them stay #and fuck #its kinda my own fault for falling far enough to where ive accidently let down the protective energy ive been keepin up in my room #cause i used to constantly go 'this is my room and my space it is protected and nothing without good intentions is allowed in' and i would #visualize my energy engulfing the room and pushing unwanted things out #but i havent done it in a while #and now ive been excessively tired as of late #too tired to get enough energy to protect my own room properly #and now i might not be able to sleep cause now im uncomfy (:#need to light some sage tomorrow. open my window.#its too dark #im just. tired.#im so tired.#i knew id regret thinking id let anything in for some company. but ya do the damndest things when youre lonely.

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obscure-entity · 7 months

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your shading is AMAZING specially when its conveying organic forms..... do you have any tips for people who dont know wrf going on (with shading)

ok so HI. hi. my old tutorial pisses me off so i will make a new one

i made a guy whose sole purpose is to be shaded so dont worry he likes it. and his name. his name will be mr. Boob. mr boob does not have to be blue

theres probably way better explanations of how to do it but unfortunately trying to "emulate" shading does ask you to somewhat understand ur character in a 3d way. like what would the 2d shape be if you "sliced" it? mr boob is made of so many circles. his tail also does a kind of weird perspective foreshortening thing because its pointing at you. is this being conveyed

you obviuously dont have to draw a horrendous grid on your characters skin to do this . BUT it helps you put down (or at least envision) the lines of the form shading :

dont worry about cast shadows or the shading color because this is FORM SHADOW time only. think about what surfaces of the character are obviously facing away from the light source and put down the "separation line" of the shading based on that. thr most important thing is that youre trying to separate light from dark

im going to pick the first one for cast shadows bc it will be the most obvious to me

ok so. his ears and snout are blocking other surfaces of his body from the light, which means a shadow is cast!!!! bam. i saw someone describe cast shadows as what the light's pov "can't see." his entire body is putting down a cast shadow on the ground too

im impatient so i blended the form shadows now. its usually the easiest to just NOT blend cast shadows as a way of conveying that they are still cast shadows. but you can still blend them if you want to show "distance" between the obstruction and the surface its blocking. but its just a way of saying form and cast shadows should not be treated the same even if their softness coincides

im going to lump reflection and ambient light together because theyre like. similar. reflections dont just happen in mirrors

since the sky is blue, making the ambient lighting, i tinged mr. boobs existing shadow to be a bit blue. (*this is kind of important because it can help you decide a shading color, which should USUALLY be based on the environment) (unless your character is just in the transparent void then it doesnt matter)

since the ground is pink, i made pink light bounce off of him. pointed and labelled. i dont rlly know how to go more in depth than that

contact shadows are literally shadows formed from direct-touching contact. very little light can reach in there, even from how reflections disperse, which means youre free to use the darkest color available (black). in this case mr. boob is making contact with the floor. because he is sitting on the floor.

i touched him up a bit and wow!!!!!!!!!! look at mr. boob!!! he is so beautifully sculpted.

and one more thing

thats right. i made mr boob PINK. hes fucking ruined now. just kidding i would never say that to him

what im trying to convey here (its the easiest with really light colors) is a transitional color. this can also show subsurface scattering depending on how you use it which is fun to look at. the mistake i made on my last tutorial was "Just pick a warm saturated color!" which is really wrong in examples like Blue mr boob. because it would be weird to use a warm color to transition from blue to blue.

if you have a character that isn't bright enough then obviously the shadows wont be as visible. its BEST to bring more attention to highlights and reflections to reveal the form a bit. they play the biggest role with darker colors

thats all i can think of. fun things to look up:

structuralization + contour lines + foreshortening etc. 3d lingo

form shadows

cast shadows

ambient light

contact shadows

subsurface scattering

im also just speaking out of my ass otherwise. i didnt look up any of these terms until the end now im inferring and hoping i got them right

and remember every time you shade mr boob will be rooting for you

#art tutorial #shading #lighting #long post

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mystellenia · 9 days

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ellie with a clumsy gf ୨ৎ

summary: how ellie cares for her clumsy girlfriend

content: nothing thats nsfw!! just ellie being a cutie concerned gf

notes: answer to this req!! SHES SO PUPU BABYGIRL IN THAT PIC I WANNA BITE HER JFWIBFJWKRJR. she's actually so beautiful i can't. entirely unrelated: idk how i feel about this... but i’m trying not to be like EW I HATE THIS FUCK THIS ITS SO BAD. like i dont even feel like that but we already know how i feel about this formatting. its growing on me tho

(wc 0.39k) so short i know guys i gotta dip my feet

constantly laughing but also concerned at how you manage to trip and bump and bruise yourself up on literal air

in apocalypse au, she's always been very aware of her surroundings bc of patrol and combat and stuff so she tries to keep you out of the way of things that she knows you'll bump into

always has an ice pack chilled and ready to go in the freezer in case you bump yourself real hard and it's sore because ice helps bumps not bruise right when you get them (looking at you guys clumsy ladies write that one down)

always warns you about things right as they're happening since you get into things SO FAST

like just as you're bumping into something or dropping an item she's blurting out, "wait! there's- a shirt on the floor"/"remember- that the washing machine door is open"/"baby, you're gonna drop that- just... like you did just now. you okay?"

always asks what you did to get a new bruise. she'll notice a new one and joke, "oh, what did you do this time?" and you'll respond, "i may have walked into the dishwasher while the door was down... but this one doesn't hurt that bad 😁" it's become like a little game

she's become sooo desensitized to any bump or bang sound in the house bc she knows its just you. not to say she doesn't care about you getting hurt--she immediately throws out a "you good?!" or "you need me?"--she just knows you know what to do: ice pack or heat compress. it's routine now.

read that low vitamin c levels make you bruise easily, so always has vitamin c rich snacks stocked up. oranges and strawberries and other fruits, always ready!

she's so stupid in love that she'll cut the fruits up into hearts or try nd make the most simple little animals with them from some mother of 3's tutorial on instagram reels and genuinely gets upset when she can't recreate them.

^ like you notice her absolutely maiming some apples and ask, "ummm why are you slicing and dicing that poor apple?" and she'll mumble, "it's supposed to be a stupid crab."

and for my ladies with darker skin where bruises aren't as visible or even just pale skin that just doesn't bruise easily, she's still just as concerned. and since there is no visible warning of a sore spot, she's hurriedly apologizing after pressing on a sore spot or laying on a tender patch.

@abbysbug @picklesarenice69

hello to my clitter critters. soooooooo erm sorry about going like basically inactive for like 2 weeks i got into the fight of a lifetime with my mother 😊 we still beefing 😊 dw tho when she's old and wrinkly i’ll have power of attorney and trust the cord WILL be plugged.

like i’m joking but as of now that bitch is an opp fr

but anywhoooo i’m back. and my dinosaur of a laptop had a health scare and i thought i was gonna have to plan a funeral for her but she went to the doctor (apple store) and she's all better. idk how it still works so well now bc my mom got this when obama was still president 😆 don't y'all worry tho this motherboard does nothing but purr we chillin (the fan turns on whenever there are too many graphics moving)

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the-s1lly-corner · 5 months

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What its like kissing the creepypasta characters

excluding the characters that im not comfy writing romantic for, for obvious reasons similar to the hugging post this is more so a rating thing instead of actual scenarios! honestly in love with these kinds of posts so im formally asking you guys to give me ideas in this vein because i love making hcs in this format/for general stuff eheheheh

SLENDERMAN:

if youve been on this blog for a while, you would know that i love when characters who dont have mouths/have nontraditional mouths nuzzle and press their face into yours. and i still love the idea, especially with slenderman ! the first time he 'kisses' you its probably the first time hes kissed ANYONE so the movement itself is probably a little... clunky... doesnt press too hard, actually i think he would struggle with the opposite. theyre gentle and fleeting, almost as if his inhuman strength and size would crush you if he let himself truly lean into it. i mean think about it, he hardly ever interacts with humans and when he does its for 'food', he has always only seen them as vulnerable and fragile. and whether malicious or not, he treats you as if youre made of glass. likes kissing the back of your hands too. 7/10, he gets bonus points since hes my fav + its the thought that counts

SPLENDORMAN:

very eager about showing you any level of affection, probably early in the relationship that he gets bold enough to kiss you. first kiss is probably more of a "in the moment" thing than "i planned this out and im going to ask" thing if that makes sense... similar to slenderman in regards that he presses his mouth to you, as i personally headcannon that his smile isnt exactly.. a real mouth, more so a false one. think like a layer of 'skin' covering his real one that he can rip out at any moment (same case for slenderman btw. same also apply to splendors eyes, more so markings than actual eyes). going back to his energy, hes very eager about it, might even lightly push you back with how much hes putting into it; he doesnt mean to, hes just so excited! likes cheek kisses and nuzzling your noses together 8/10

EYELESS JACK:

very wary about kissing you outside of those little pecks, for multiple factors. for one, his teeth. sharp teeth, he can accidentally cut you. other reason thats much darker, given that admin personally hcs that he goes into "frenzies" when hes hungry and reacts to blood like the sharks in finding nemo, if he accidentally cuts you when hes not.. well fed.. for lack of a better term... theres a risk there. REFUSES to kiss when he needs to go 'hunt' soon, not because he doesnt want you or your affection, but he doesnt want to take any risks. outside of that, he doesnt often seek out affection, so youre probably going to have to initiate it, unless hes feeling particularly clingy that day or jealous... hes very cold, please cup your hands on his face and warm him up. likes kissing your lips 6/10

LAUGHING JACK:

has to lean in at an angle in order to not poke you with his nose. has probably accidentally lightly scratched you with it when he got too excited. likes giving you forehead kisses for this reason because you can just angle your head down and he can go to town like that... sometimes leave lipstick marks on you.. if you personally hc that he can take off his makeup then please offer to fix it! hes going to be absolutely over the moon! likes wrapping his arms around you when he kisses you. does lots of kisses in quick succession rather than singular longer ones. probably wakes you up with kisses and greets you with kisses when you come home 8/10 i love him

MASKY/TIM:

nope, sorry. for masky hes not going to be taking off the mask around you at all. so if you want a kiss youre going to have to kiss the mask. though on rare occasions when youre alseep/half awake he will lift up his mask just enough to reveal his mouth and give you a kiss on your face. no particular place that he prefers to kiss you. though as said, its rare when he does this. in fact its not common for masky to seek out affection unless he feels more possessive of you than usual, be it because hes jealous or you are stress or you were just in a dangerous situation. 5/10, not much action but there is still care behind it

now as for tim... i think he would be more willing to give you kisses. probably gives you a quick one before you leave for work or something else, and greets you with one when you return home. thats a sweet thought, i think. more likely to give kisses during cuddle session, tends to kiss your cheek and neck (non sexually) while hes holding you to his chest. ponders. will give you a look if you mess with his sideburns and start giggling 6.5/10 love this man

HOODIE/BRIAN:

hoodie is a little more willing to lift up his mask around you, but only really up to the bottom of his nose. also has no preferred place to kiss you, but he seems to kiss your lips more than the other parts of you. sometimes his facial hair scratches against your skin and tickles. between him and brian i think hoodie is a little more blunt and serious about kissing. not to say hes not a little playful, love me some vaguely playful s/o hoodie hcs. probably picks you up off the ground too to 'trap' you, especially if youre fairly shorter than him (personally hc brian/hoodie is 6'') 7/10 love him

very similar to hoodie but i think he would be even more playful when it comes to you. leans into it when his facial hair starts tickling you, in fact i think it would devolve into him just tickling your sides. funny man. put him in the corner/j. like lj, he likes wrapping his arms around you when kissing you, this man is very into physical touch. will touch you any chance he gets; hand holding, cuddling, hugs, ect ect ect... sometimes starts smiling when you guys kiss so you have to give him a minute because he just has this huge grin on his face 8/10

PUPPETEER:

so you know how i said in the hugging post hes kind of a little shit? you know, literally basking in the fact that youre giving your time and self to him? i think that still applies here, maybe even more so since this is explicitly romantic. likes teasing you if you get flustered during your make out sessions, sometimes bombards you with kisses just to see your face redden... has probably leaned down and tapped his cheek as a silent yet teasing gesture, as if taunting you, letting you be the one to kiss him this once. also very cold, like physically. what being a spirit does to a mf. VERY tall, can easily evade any retaliation you throw his way (ie returning the favor of bombarding him with kisses), though im not sure how long he'd be able to resist.. 6/10

#creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x you #slenderman x reader #slenderman x you #splendorman x reader #splendorman x you #eyeless jack x reader #eyeless jack x you #laughing jack x reader #laughing jack x you #masky x reader #masky x you #hoodie x reader #hoodie x you #puppeteer x reader #puppeteer x you

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honeytonedhottie · 5 days

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HONEYS IT GIRL MAGAZINE april edition⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🎀

welcome back to honeys it girl magazine, this is the april catalog. get ready for the inside scoop on data that i've collected, things i've learned/started doing, and just general info like that organized in kind of a teen-magazine inspired fashion. this particular addition's collaborator is @pinkpigtailsprincess and its an HONOR. so pls look forward to the magazine for it girls ✨ and now please enjoy, the it girl magazine.

SUMMER WARDROBE PREP ;

as we've talked about in this post right here, summer is right around the corner and we need to make the fashion count. april fashion is all about the transition from spring -> summer and in doing so gracefully there MUST be preparation.

for any season i think that camisoles r amazing because in the colder seasons like autumn or winter, u can wear camisoles underneath zip up jackets. in the summer and spring time u can wear camisoles as they are and they're so cute either way.

the key to camisoles is the length and the color and for the spring to summer transition, i advise u to steer clear of darker colors or thicker textures and go for more light/flowy, colorful pieces.

FOR THE BLOG ;

i haven't been very active on my blog (or at least thats how i feel) as much as i usually am and thats because school has been kicking my ass. now that the school year is wrapping up i have something that i'd like to introduce to the blog.

MY MASTER CLASS - i wanted to formulate a class that rly went in depth about manifestation so i decided to make a google class in which i hopefully simplified manifestation. just like in my blog, except in the class i formulate challenges, assignments etc.

the post where i go more in depth about the master class is coming out on wednesday (may first) so i hope that u guys look forward to and take advantage of this new resource 🍭🎀

FOR THE WELLNESS GIRLIES ;

if theres one thing that i tried to keep central this month was my health, so there r two things in particular that i honed in on and they are mindfulness and stress management.

MINDFULNESS - i wanted to focus on being more present in my emotions and just focus on the now more than anything. just kind of putting things into perspective. i've had time to ponder a lot of things and kind of tackle the big questions that i like to avoid and once u sort that out it feels like a weight has been lifted off ur shoulders.

STRESS MANAGEMENT - idk whats going on but my emotions have been all over the place and i've been feeling particularly stressed and overwhelmed so what i've been doing to manage that is mindful breathing and affirming affirmations that remind me that im safe, im fine etc.

and later on once im in a clearer headspace i'll journal thru my emotions and kind of sort them out that way im not harboring anything negative yk? and thats usually what helps me.

DOLLY'S SECTION, @pinkpigtailsprincess "SOME OF MY FAVS AND WHAT WE CAN LEARN FROM THEM

Some of my fav it girls What we can learn from them!!🎀

The Boss

Whitney Gilbert + Rihanna + Lil Kim

The Smart Sweethearts

Jang Wonyoung + Elle woods

The Glitzy Dolls

Kimora Lee Simmons + London Tipton

| 𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ The Smart Sweetheart !! 🎀

...📧 : Wonyoung & Elle are absolutely perfect for self expression and not letting other peoples opinions get too you both of them are unapologetically Super Feminine & Sweet even people

talk down about them, they always rise up and prove them wrong no matter how much people talk all while sporting their extremely feminine personality and fashion taste no matter how much they get stereotyped as a “dumb blonde” “pick me” or “air head” they know themselves

and thats all thats matter to them!! 🎀 Now all three of these women are incredibly smart thats have achieved major academic

success let’s look at what we can individually learn from them!!

🎀 ; Jang Wonyoung The Successful K-Popstar thats has gotten global success who has the perfect princess beauty

has inspired an ongoing lifestyle trend by the Name of “Wonyoungism” a trend inspired by the beautiful fans of Jang Wonyoung where her fanbase practices and promotes Taking care of them selves and being the best version of them selves and taking inspiration from won young to

⁃ workout

⁃ eat healthy meals

⁃ take care of their skin

⁃ practice good habits

⁃ attaining their goals

⁃ ambition & hard work

⁃ being nice & inspiring others to also joij in on becoming the best version of themselves and have an unbreakable mentally inspired by her famous quote “No Problem I don’t care you’re you i’m me!” and taking after won-young in having a high self concept and hard work no matter what!! and never letting opinions get too you even when she was getting dragged on the internet she gave them more reasons to hate on her even though they know nothing about her

Sources say The Chic Princess is also incredibly smart with some extremely impressive academic achievements including

⁃ took GED & got a perfect score in Korean,english & math

⁃ Won a Science Fair

⁃ Won Match Contest

⁃ Was her Class president 3 years in a row

⁃ willing joined sports

⁃ always putting time into her studies and ever wanted to be a news anchor +lawyer!!

no speaking of Lawyers...We must talk sbout the most fashionable lawyer out there..🎀 ; Elle Woods!!The Peppy Blonde Barbie From Bel-Air is Undeniably one of the most loved it girl characters out there!! she inspires many girls & women to do their absolute best in academics and maintain their authenticity and being charismatic and kind to those around her even with people who don’t like her!!, She’s literally the Pioneer of femininity in the work force bringing her girly & hyperfeminine personality + style while also studying law and becoming a lawyer

...but it’s not always glitz and glamour for Elleseeing as early on in the movie no one seems to genuinely taker her seriously and judging her too quickly because of her girly style,chipper personality & being a classic sorority queen but as elle and had more and more people on her back about her “being a ditz” “not being smart enough” she makes her own one women revolution on a quest to prove them all wrong! and when doing this she still doesn’t stray away from her bubbly personality and trendy style and with doing this proving thats girls can be girly and hyperfem and still be smart and pursue a career but even with doing this she can’t seem to shake the image of the stereotypical “Dumb Blonde” as we see in the movie when her professor seems to only hire ell because she’s pretty and not because of her academic success.

now obviously this makes elle spiral and think shes not good enough to where she ends up giving up becoming a lawyer because she feels as though because shes the stereotypical blonde rich girl from bel-air that she can’t be anything but a pretty face but still after the fact elle picks herself back up in one of the final scene of the MovieShowing up to the courtroom sport her ICONIC Pink dress and Bedazzled Pink Pumps and using her knowledge in fashion,beauty and cosmetics to ultimately win her case even withhaving the hard ship of not taken seriously!! 🎀

these two of literally in my top 3 favorites theyre just perfect and amazing and no matter what they do people are always talking about them no matter what rather good or bad they are truly it girls now What can we learn from these two dazzling women...

⁃ Hard work pays off

⁃ You can have beauty and brains

⁃ Never Dumb yourself down too be someone everyone else wants you to be

⁃ Always work hard no matter the circumstances

⁃ Take care of yourself

⁃ People opinions on you don’t Matter because at the end of the day you onlyhave to prove yourself to yourself

⁃ You’re So weird, Never change that!

| 𝜗𝜚݁ ˖ The Glitzy Divas !! 🎀

🛍 : The Glitzy Diva Type is my FAVORITE!! Im literally Obsessed with Kimora and Sharpay They Inspire me so much and theyre like soo iconic so ofc we have to start of with Mother Herself Mrs.

Kimora Lee Simmons 🛍 : The Mother of Baby Phat How made her breakthrough in the modeling industry at only 15 And Being Signed with Chanel She is Known for Her Love of

Fashion Glitz and Glamour The Fashion Maven coining her brand Baby Phat in 1999 rose to fame without question i mean her clothes are literally so iconic you name she has it !!

⁃ phone cases

⁃ jackets

⁃ jeans

⁃ Body Suits

⁃ Denim Jackets

⁃ Boots

⁃ Hats

⁃ Tank Tops

⁃ Buffer Coats

⁃ Lip Gloss

⁃ PerfumeSHE HAD IT ALL!!

Because she is literally just FABULOUS she has always had this love for the glitz and the glamour and always hold her self too a high standard if she wanted it she would get it and thats just the way its gonna be!!! she had a habit of running up Phone Bills,Credit Card etc. truly princess activities now what can we learn from this ICON!I can do everything by myself, the only person I have to look out for is myself - Kimora Lee SimmonsPersonally

i think she is trying to say she is only supposed to be validated within her self and Only Her Opinion Matter No Matter What and its so true because at the end of the day you know you best and all you’ll is yourself!All the hard work in the world won't get you anywhere if you don't powerfully project your personality and style. How are you going to differentiate yourself from them? - Kimora Lee Simmons

BE YOURSELF!! literally being your own authentic self is literally the ultimate it girl secret and you can literally see for yourself not all it girl are one in the same they are authentically their own and that makes them all special!!People want to throw things at you and make you fall off because you're at a certain enviable height. - Kimora Lee Simmons. Like honestly she such a philosopher and i don’t care like this is so true with all it girls people are always talking about them no matter what because they feel a certain sense of jealousy

towards them for no reason when these women are literally like the best people LOVE to hate on it girl so much they end of loving them They Love to Hate them and Hate 2 Love Them!! 🎀

Now lwts talk about another favorite of mine the FABULOUS ...

⭐ : Sharpay Evans !!

The one and Only Sharpay Evans The Queen Bee that everyone tried to tear down but if were being honest she will NEVER Fall She hold her self to princess standard with her fabulous self concept

“Everything Has to be Perfect for me” Fabulous by Sharpay Evans

Having Everyone always hating in her never stopped her still always being the school Queen Bee She is constantly talked about bye everyone!! i mean yeah she is quite snobby but she is still CRAZY AMBITIOUS. and shes willing to do any and everything to make sure she gets her way Shes The Princess and that will never change

No matter what people say about her own personal style she doesn’t care only her opinion matters Because she’s FABULOUS everything around her HAS to be Fabulous as well

⁃ Wardrobe

⁃ Hair

⁃ LockerEverything

She Believes that she is better than her peers and tbh.. She kinda Is i mean Their Vocals and performance were mediocre compared to SharpayShe stands about too much i mean her fabulousness was too much for them to handle shes

Her Iconess is

Stylish Pretty Iconic Talented Ambitious and Hardworking too much for them they can’t tell can’t HANDLE IT!!

Now what can we learn from these two FABULOUS ICONS

⁃ Only Your Opinion Matters

⁃ Always Put Yourself First

⁃ Keep Working Hard for what you want

⁃ If Something isn’t up to your standards don’t settle for less

⁃ No Matter how much people talk and knock you down you’re still gonna be above their Judgement!!

⁃ Only Conform too your own standard

CELEBS ;

i wanna start off this section strong and talk about jojo siwa's new release "karma". i've linked the music video there so u can watch it and feel free to share ur opinions in the comment section but shes been receiving lots of mixed reviews from netizens.

most of the backlash comes from interviews that shes done like when she said that she was the first person in her generation to have this major of a rebrand. a huge shift in all this drama tho was when people found out that she did NOT in fact write the song like she claimed she did, which does NOT look good for her

she bought the song from brit smith and its like, WORD FOR WORD. and people feel some kind of way bcuz jojo could've just straight up been honest and say that she bought the song, which a lot of artists in the music industry do and theres nothing inherently wrong with it.

but the problem is that she tried to make it seem like she wrote it and even goes as far as to claim that she did in fact write it. and now that its shown that she bought it from brit smith, it kinda just blew up in her face.

PREP FOR NEXT YEAR ;

as we know the 2023-2024 school year is coming to an end very soon and if ur anything like me, ur feeling FATIGUED. and rightfully so of course, school can be super taxing sometimes.

this is ur sign though to take a BREAK, spend a day just for you and for rejuvenation bcuz to keep going u need to have strength. school is almost done U GOT THIS. what helps me is to count down the days until school lets out so that i can be excited 🍹✨

now is the time tho to plan out what courses ur gonna take next year, wrap up whatever u need to for this school year so that u can walk into the next school year ready to dominate. make plans for the summer and hype urself up to have an amazing time!

thats all for this months catalog, there will be a new edition each month with new content and it'll be updated on a monthly basis so if thats something that interests you or if you like these kinds of posts stay tuned for the next, till next month girlies✨

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wekiamo · 1 year

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still love you

first request!! hope you guys enjoy it (ik the title is so cliche im sorryy 😭)

part 2 here

warnings: spoilers for Scream VI, swearing, angst, fluff, mentions of getting stabbed and murdered, and i think thats all!

no, this can’t be happening. ethan landry? your fucking boyfriend? no, this had to be some sort of joke.

at least, that’s what you thought. but you knew well it wasn’t true, and you were just trying to convince yourself none of this was real. well, it didn’t work. you were still there, standing in front of all these killers you’ve been running away from.

you were still trying to process everything that was happening, when quinn steps forward your direction with her knife in her hand, and your brain just stops working correctly. you could be killed right there and right now. you certainly didn’t want to die, you still had so much to live - you wanted to travel the world, learn new languages, meet new people and even have an own family. and you wanted to experience it all with ethan. the guy you just found out to be a psycho killer, who was just trying to kill you this entire time. all of your moments together were fake? you felt the need to cry even harder than you were already. ethan, the guy who you loved the most in this world and you thought loved you back, did not want you or your love

he wanted your blood. he wanted to see you dead.

“oh poor [name], you’re not even what we want. there’s no need to be so scared of us this soon.” quinn said as she turned to sam and tara “it’s you two bitches we want”

“why? why are you all doing this? did we ever do something to you-” tara was cut off by quinn’s voice “yes you little whores you KILLED OUR BROTHER” she said, yelling at the two sisters.

“we don’t know who you guys are talking about, seriously!” tara said with a desperate voice and look in her eyes, while sam looked like she was processing their words slowly.

“is… richie… your brother?” sam asked, between pauses.

“yes, and it was you, sam. you were the one to kill him you fucking slut” quinn said kind of quiet, but loud enough for everyone to hear.

“now, we all know both of you girls love [name] like she’s your sister too. wouldn’t it be such a despairing thing to watch her be stabbed and killed right in front of you?” bailey asked, making ethan smirk “i don’t think we should do it right in front of them, dad. they shouldn’t even get to see it, only listen to her screaming miserably while she’s dying” the tall boy said, gaining everyone’s looks at him.

“nice one, ethan. wanna do the honours?” bailey asked the boy, who was smirking once again.”

“you better not fucking TOUCH her, you asshole” sam yelled. “you don’t get to yell at us, bitch” quinn, that was next to her and tara, threatened sam with the knife in front of her throat

“come over here” bailey ordered, and you not obeying him. “no, no i’m not going to.” you said crying, trying not to fall on your knees from the mental weakness you were experiencing.

“NOW.” ethan yelled in a rough tone. you stepped forward slowly scared for your life as you could perfectly listen to tara’s whines. “stupid slow whore” quinn said behind you as she pushed you hardly, making you stand in front of bailey and ethan.

were these your last moments?

you finally managed to say something: “ethan, i- how could you do this to me?”

“yeah, and how could you be so dumb?“ ethan laughed as bailey and quinn did too, you looking at each of them, with fear and disbelief in your face.

“well now i guess it’s time to say goodbye to your little friends” the boy said, grabbing you roughly by your wrist and pushing you in front of him, taking both of your hands and putting them together on your back as he grabbed your shoulders, guiding you somewhere.

“tara, sam, please, i don’t wanna die.”

you were now somewhere darker. you couldn’t really see what was happening inside the place, but you knew something: these were probably your last moments.

he took his hands off your shoulders and stopped guiding you, as you stopped walking too. he was now standing right in front of you.

“i loved you deeply, ethan. do you know how much i trusted you? or how many times i argued with my friends for defending you and your unexistent fucking innocence? of how many times i cried just by feeling guilty of being suspicious of you? i loved you and trusted you with my heart, ethan.”

“listen [name], i need you to scream” the boy said gently, making your brows furrow in confusion.

“what?”

“scream like you’re getting stabbed or something.”

“wait, you’re not going to kill me..?”

“don’t ask too many questions. just do it, quick before they come and check what we’re doing.”

you smiled and hugged him tight. you knew this could be some sort of trap but you still felt relieved that there was a chance of you getting out of here, and see all of your friends alive and happy again.

“okay i’m ready. 1, 2, 3-”

#ethan landry #ethan landry fluff #ethan landry angst #ethan landry fanfic #ethan bailey #ethan landry scream #ethan landry scream 6 #scream #scream 6 #scream vi #scream 6 fanfic #ethan landry smut #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry x you #ethan landry x reader smut #first work #first fanfic

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kleem-o · 10 months

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Yandere Vampire!Shoto x Human!reader

Synopsis: Since you were young, at the age of 7 you were serving Shoto, both of you grew up together. Eventually he becomes so dependent on you and falls for you.

Warning: blood, violence, swearing, a bit nsfw

Wc: 2.2k

A/N: hii yall! Im back again with another au fic. i hope u all enjoy! will make another part, gonna set the setting for this au first (just imagine all those isekai manhwas with royalty and thats it lol. Feel free to ask!! (also this series will be a lot darker and stuff)

“Shoto, meet Y/N, she will be your personal assistant from now on.”

Shouto warily looked at you. A human, how distasteful. “Father, why do servants have to be humans? It’s disgusting.” Your eyes remain glued to the floor as your head stays tilted in a respectful bow, not daring to offend your masters in any way. Your masters are one of the most powerful families in the country, with a large palace overseeing the north kingdom. The kingdom consists of other noble vampires, commoners which were also vampires, then servants or slaves that were all human. Ever since the beginning, humans were vampires’ slaves, they were there for the beasts to command, with overwhelming strength and power, the humans stood no chance. You were one of the lucky ones that was born in a family that directly served noble families. From your birth, it was decided that you will be the young master Todoroki’s assistant. You were trained from an early age to perfection, from etiquette, to basic fighting skills– to protect your masters only– you were the perfect candidate for the soon to arrive young master. You were older than Shouto by a few months, and his successful birth sealed your fates together.

“Do not complain Shouto, lest you desire to be the only master in the family with no accompanying assistance.” The big intimidating man stated with a huff. Shouto let out a frustrated sigh as he looked you again in the eye. “One mistake and you shall be our meal, do you understand?” The cold words accompanied by a somewhat strange soft voice made you look him in the eye for the first time. A young boy just a few months younger than you with eyes a beautiful shade of turquoise and dark gray, while his hair held the clouds and sunset rays of red. “Yes master.”

The first few days with him were simply exhausting. You did not know whether it was because you were human or his attitude was simply that of a spoiled rich kid. His spoiled act wasn’t exclusive to you, oh no, every single living thing in the palace was treated with malice, including vampires and even his own family, and his family did absolutely nothing in regards to his spoiled attitude, tch, nobles, you thought. You would wake him up every night at 6 pm, and endure his tantrums on being woken up too early. You would help him bathe and endure another 15 minutes of him complaining the water was too cold. You would help him get changed and endure another 30 minutes of him ranting about how awful your fashion sense is. What a child, you thought, everytime he opens his mouth you are reminded that he truly is a 6 year old child. After the nightly routine, dinner is in order, you would accompany him to the dining quarters only to be always stopped halfway through by Shoto telling you that “This is as far as you go, now be dismissed and go do your duty thingies.” as he walks off further to go to the dining quarters. You always wondered why, as you know that the other masters had their assistants with them while they feast. Perhaps it was a blessing that Shoto didn’t let you in, you knew it was a nightmare in there, with humans served as cuisines, you shudder at the thought and opt to not think about it, wanting to save your sanity in this forsaken place.

You would then prepare the things that Shoto would need for the night. You would get in touch with his tutor, and prepare his things for his study session. You would go to his room to tidy up, and prepare a set of pajamas to sleep in through the day. Daytime weakens vampires and they prefer to sleep through it, though do not be mistaken, they are still considerably strong, at least strong enough to subdue a human. You watch as Shoto focuses on the tutor’s teachings for the night. They were discussing things about economics, how boring, you thought. You took notice though, how Shoto seemed more distant than usual. Around 6 am, you will be readying Shoto for his slumber. As you changed him and tucked him in bed, you mindlessly asked him “Young master, are you okay?” Shoto looked at you surprised, as if you just grew horns and a tail. “Huh?” For some reason Shoto felt his cheeks burning up. “I’m completely fine! Are you okay?” Shoto said in an attempt to be sarcastic. You didn’t pick up on his sarcasm though, he seemed.. Flustered? “I’m doing fine young master, if ever you feel any discomfort please tell me. It is my job to ensure that you are at your utmost best.” You said with a smile. Shoto couldn’t stop the blush on his face. He quickly pulled the covers above his head “okay okay! I get it. You are dismissed now..” “ Have a good rest young master” You say as you leave the room. Little did you know that Shoto, who was being neglected by his family, not given enough attention and love, was gonna get attached to those few words you let out, wanting more of the warmth you radiated.

It came slowly, little changes like Shoto not throwing tantrums and not insulting your efforts while doing your duties. After his studies he would request to have tea in the garden under the moonlight, and he would always request you to be there with him. He would slowly open up to you, making many attempts to start a conversation.

“Did you know the stock market will be going down next week?”

“Accounting is so annoying, why do they need to make it so complicated? How foolish”

“What's your favorite season?”

“The moonlight seems prettier tonight”

“This tea tastes good, here have some”

Now his actions were confusing you entirely. He went from a tantrum throwing spoiled child, to a well mannered gentleman to you. It was a complete 180 for him and you didn’t know if he was planning something. Nevertheless you indulged him with his attempts at conversation as you quite enjoyed it as well, when he wasn’t acting like a pain in the as– head, he wasn’t that bad after all! After a few more months of this, you two were now as close as ever, Shoto even called you his playmate instead of assistant saying that “You’re different from other humans.” Which you didn’t completely get, all humans were the same after all.

On one particular day, as the sun was starting to rise, you set Shoto to bed. You were going to leave the room when he held your hand and whispered “stay.” You got surprised by his behavior, even though you guys were close now, you wouldn’t dare sleep in his quarters, it was forbidden. You were merely a servant and he was a noble. You tried explaining this to him but his grip on your hand just tightened while tears started forming in his eyes. You knew that he longed for attention and love, something that you noticed throughout the months with him, was missing from his family. Just this one time wouldn’t hurt right? As long as you don’t get caught? After a few more moments of Shoto silently begging you, you finally agreed and his eyes shone with glee. He quickly scooted over and pulled the covers for you to get on the bed. As soon as you were settled on the bed he quickly cuddled by your side and fell asleep with his cheeks against yours. You closed your eyes and prayed that you won’t get caught, you also reminded yourself that this was a one time thing. Boy were you wrong. Not a single day went by that Shoto didn’t practically force you to sleep on his bed. This was your new normal now, though you were still careful not to get caught. This went on even when you both were now grown up, at the age of 20 Shoto still made you sleep with him, though he didn’t cuddle you as closely as before.

You weren’t oblivious to the favor–obsession– Shoto had on you. You had to admit it was quite useful sometimes, like on times the head of the servants would scold you for no reason, Shoto would immediately punish them. Shoto became sweeter to you, almost like a lover you would dare say, as soft touches between the two of you would always result in fast heart beats and blushing small smiles. One day, as you were helping Shoto to change for bed, you quickly informed him that you could not sleep with him this time. He quickly asked you why and you simply told him there was going to be a meeting for all the servants.

He borderline begged you to stay “Please Y/N stay, I don’t– I can’t sleep without you, you know that! Why would you leave me? Are they more important than me? Do you no longer like me?” You were surprised with all his questions, maybe he liked you a little bit more than you thought, you glanced at the clock on his wall, and noticed that he was now nuzzling your neck, inhaling your calming scent, one that would always calm him down. You then noticed a change in his breathing, it was now ragged and hot. “Young master? Are you okay?” You held his cheeks to make him face you, only to be faced with his dazed and half lidded eyes, his cheeks blushing “Call me by my name.” He demanded. “Shoto.” He kissed your lips with much fervor. He held your head, fingers intertwined with your hair, trying to pull you in even closer as your arms wrapped around his neck. You kissed him back trying to match his passion, tongues dancing together, saliva dripping to your and Shoto’s chin. His hands explored your body as he trailed kisses down to the side of your neck, leaving open kisses and hickies. Eyes closed and moaning softly, you gripped his broad shoulder for balance as he started licking your neck, only to gasp and open your eyes in surprise as he bit your neck, hard, drawing blood as he started sucking and drinking it. “Wha– Sho– Shoto?! Stop–” You tried pushing him away only for him to growl and bite harder, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist, making sure you couldn’t escape him. You were starting to feel dizzy as you looked at him, his eyes were closed as his eyebrows were furrowed, blood dripping on the side of his mouth as his adam’s apple bobbed up and down showing how desperate he was to drink your blood. “Please.. Stop..” You fell down slowly as he fell down with you, arms still wrapped around you. You started seeing black spots darken your vision as you finally lost consciousness, your last thoughts being this was it, a death no different from others, by the hands of a vampire.

You felt soft hair tickle your neck as you slowly opened your eyes. You were in Shoto’s bed and it was already nighttime. You quickly looked beside you to see him fast asleep, arms snaked around your waist as his head rested in the crook of your neck. You quickly lifted your hand to your neck only to feel bandages covering it so it wasn’t a dream you thought. As if hearing your thoughts Shoto stirred awake “Hello love. Did you rest well?” “Shoto what happened? What about my meeting wit–” “No need to worry love, it's all taken care of.” Shoto smiled as he caressed your cheek, hand slowly trailing down to your neck. “You tasted so sweet..” You tensed as he got closer to your neck, giving small kisses on the bandage. “Master, why would you do that?” Shoto felt his stomach drop as he panicked at the betrayed tone of your voice, he looked up at you and kissed your lips softly. “Darling I’m sorry I– I couldn’t resist. You just smelled so good. Please forgive me.” He looked at you with puppy eyes, and you swore you saw hearts in his eyes. You couldn’t help but forgive him, he promised he wouldn’t do it again. That was a lie. Every night as he woke up he would drink your blood from your neck, it became routine for the both of you. You would give in as he gave you his puppy eyes and begged “Please love, I can’t bear to drink anyone else's blood anymore”

“You taste so good love, my darling baby.”

“I’m sure the heavens cannot compare to you” His sweet words would always sway you, and you just came to accept your fate. At least he didn’t overdo it, he would always stop right away whenever you would feel dizzy. Right after feeding from you, he would lick the wound on your neck, savoring whatever blood trickled out, then bandage up your neck. Whenever his family raised their eyes upon looking at your bandage, Shoto would simply dismiss them, still the ever spoiled and rude brat he is. Little did he know Touya, the eldest, had his eyes on the both of you.

Part 2

A/N: helooo if you made it here thanks for reading lol i want to make another part theres a lot i still want to write here, i have a lot of plot to cover lol like a little fight between touya and shoto, escape plans, and reader finding out a big secret about humanity and stuff hehe. Lemme know what yall think! And again feel free to ask! also if u wanna get tagged just let me know

taglist: @incredible-walker

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evieelyzabethh · 1 month

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Warmer than a Comforter

pairing(s): Spike x fem!reader

summary: it wasn't unusual for Spike to 'break' into your apartment, but it was unusual for him to want to spend the night.

warnings: very long (4.4k words), spike being a simp, one bed trope, dry humping, thigh fucking, masturbation, some fingering, slight praise, Spike being Spike, a smidge of possessiveness, and thats about it

It was no secret to anyone your favorite time of day was long after the sun went down. A full-time college student who worked a part time job on top of that was no easy feat. Your time during the day was never your time, it was your shitty professors time who assigned reading after reading that needed to be read for the never-ending stream of papers and theses, it belonged to your shitty boss who piled on tons of paperwork and demanded you be at his beck and call even after you clocked out. As much as you loved them, your time off belonged to your friends; patrolling, looking through dusty-old books, trying not to die every time you stepped out of your apartment.

When you got home (if there was no patrolling to be done), it was your time and while you were tired, you made time for your nightly routine. You'd slip off your shoes and walk in the dark to make it to your room to turn on your lamp, because you'd be damned if you were turning on one of the big lights this late.

You would usually strip down and dig a pair of pajamas out of your drawers before taking a scalding shower. You'd brush your teeth and wash your face, maybe if you had the energy, you'd do a face mask and paint your nails. You'd turn on your stereo or switch on your TV to fall asleep to the fuzzy sound and soft light. This, of course, is what you'd be doing right now had you not walked into your house with company.

You could see him lounging on your bed, the darkness of his attire somehow darker than your unlit room. His duster slung on the back of your desk chair, only clothed in some tight navy shirt and jeans.

"What are you doing here, Spike?" You crossed your arms over your chest, annoyed when you realized he had his dirty ass boots on your bed.

"M' paying my favorite Scooby a visit." You walked over to turn on your lamp, giving you enough light to see how smug he was. His arms sat behind his head, his eyes glittering with amusement. He was doing this to annoy you. He did most things just to annoy you.

"Pay another Scooby a visit." You were dead tired, practically forcing your eyes open. You had just gotten back from work, your bag still in your hand which you used to knock his legs off your bed. He could've been stubborn, but he let you.

You stripped off your hoodie, flashing him your stomach as your undershirt rose with the movement. He whistled, "Scandalous."

"Get out of my apartment." You tossed your hoodie at him while rolling your eyes. He caught it midair, bringing it to his nose to sniff it.

"Smells different. You using a different bodywash?" You hummed as you walked around your room to find something suitable to wear to bed. It was dreadfully hot out, even worse than what you'd expect from a California summer. You had at least 3 fans going anytime you were here, especially since your landlord could never seem to find a permanent solution to the junky A.C unit.

"Midnight Rose. Real fancy stuff." You hadn't even noticed a difference, but of course Spike would. Vampire senses had a way of being intrusive in a way that was only helpful when it came to your cycle and saving you bed sheets.

"I like the other one better: the cocoa butter one. It was fainter. You smelt more like you." You scoffed.

"Duly noted." Your hands roamed over the old t-shirts from high school and camisole tops so old the straps had snapped on a couple of them.

Spike sat up on your bed, untying the laces on his shoes haphazardly before setting them by your bedroom door. He roamed around like you had been, picking up bottles of nail polish and flipping through one of the books on your shelf.

"You could spare me a bit of your attention, love. I mean I did go through the trouble of-"

"Breaking into my apartment?" You interrupted.

"On second thought, it was a bit easy. I pushed it a bit and the window came right out. Are you leaving it open for somebody?" His tone was supposed to sound much more teasing than it did. There was a pang in his chest, probably of jealousy. Much to his chagrin, he was jealous a lot these days and he couldn't quite tell if his frequent visits were enabling that or the very cause of it. Either way, it was hard not to just crawl through your window anytime he pleased.

You acted like you were annoyed and if he had a dollar for every time you threatened to call Buffy on him, he wouldn't need to dumpster dive for furniture. If he had another dollar for every time, you never followed through, he'd be even richer. You said it's because you could handle yourself without her help, but, admittedly, you didn't hate his company that much.

As far as house guests go, it could be worse. It's not like he eats all your food, talks your ears off, or is unfunny. He was just there. A pain in your ass sometimes, like when he insists on being half a step behind you during patrols and never fails to tell you how great your ass looks from behind. Never a malevolent presence, just annoyingly noticeable.

His boots were clunky, and he smelled of faint cigarettes and alcohol. He also hated silence. He was fidgety and anxious, even if his intentions were stealth, he couldn't help but break the tension and open his mouth. At times against his will, he just wanted to be noticed that bad. He just needed to be around you that bad.

"I keep telling the landlord to fix it, but he insists it's just fine. 'Nothin' some glue won't fix'." But you had tried gluing it. Had it not been for the clear shit jammed in the lock, the window would've just come right open with the flick of a finger.

"I could fix it for you." He went ignored while you had made your way to your bathroom, taking your hair down from the claw clip it had been stuck in for the past few hours. A slight moan of relief slipped through your lips as your fingers carded through it to massage your scalp.

"You know how to fix windows?"

"Well...no. But it can't be that hard. I've been around a few hundred years, surely I can figure out how to fix a bloody window." What he meant to say (if he had the balls) was that he would be more than happy to learn how to fix a window for you. It would give him an excuse to hang around, it would keep him in your good graces for a solid month, and he wouldn't have to break an entering anymore. Granted, his preferred place of entry had long been broken and he could always come through the front door, but it was a matter of principle.

You looked him up and down, trying to decipher if this was a set up for a joke or if he was actually serious, but he kept his head down. He hadn't been able to blush since he was a human, but the habit had a way of rearing its head for you.

He was so pretty too. With his high cheekbones and the way the warm light made his complexion look less ghastly. As ironic and cliche as it would be to say, he looked slightly angelic. Like one who fell from Heaven and donned the dark and mysterious charade to make it hurt less. He would burn away under a cross just to make it back to Heaven. Nearly break his spine falling out of windows and bleed out taking stabs if it meant he was closer to your doors. If there was one thing Spike did well, it was devotion.

"You wouldn't even know where to start. I'll just call Xander or something."

"What're you gonna do that for!"

"Because, Spike," you laughed incredulously, confused as to if this was going to become an argument or form a chip on his shoulder. "If I want something fixed, I'm going to call someone who does it for a living."

"But would Xander do it for free?"

"Would you?"

"I wouldn't charge anything of monetary value." You snorted, not surprised at all with his answer.

"You are such a whore, you know that?"

"What can I say, baby?" He leaned against the door frame of your bathroom, where you stood staring at your reflection in the mirror. He was happy that his nonexistent reflection could betray him. He was grateful to be a part of this routine - your routine- in a way that didn't disrupt your peace. It was soft. Almost domestic.

You were so meticulous about the way you scrubbed your face and brushed your teeth. He liked how when you took off your makeup the glitter remained. You sparkled at the right angles, really fucking sparkled. Of course, he was going to sit and stare at you; mascara still not completely wiped away, hair tied back with a fuzzy headband, lips agitated from being bit throughout the day. It was poetic. Second nature to him. He didn't need to breath, but it came to him then, overwhelming and filling his lungs like water until he was full as he stared at you in the mirror with not even his own reflection to judge him.

"I'm gonna hop in the shower."

"How rude, without me?" Damn, he sounded like a bloody idiot. You only looked him up and down, trying to appear deeply disgusted but stopped just shy of mildly annoyed.

"Get out of my apartment before I stake you." You slammed the bathroom door in his face, hiding your blush behind the wood.

"That's not a no." His voice is muffled behind the door, and as much as you'd like to believe he didn't hear it, you did laugh.

***********************************************************

Spike had to have been a cat in a previous life, is what you decided when you found him still on your bed, nose in some magazine he found pretending to care about the newest Natasha Denona palette.

"That crypt must be uncomfortable as hell for you to still be here." You skated around your room to sink beside him. He reaches across his side to pull out a bottle of water and hands it to you.

"Your showers are hot as hell; I'm surprised you didn't pass out in there." He flips through the pages nonchalantly, pretending not to be incredibly fixated at the water dripping from the nape of your neck and disappearing into your shirt.

"You would've loved that, wouldn't you? Getting to play 'knight and shining armor' while I'm conveniently naked." The sound waxy pages being torn was a surprise. So much of you and his banter was contingent on the assumption that neither of you meant anything serious so nothing would become anything.

Spike, who spent most of his mortal adult life swallowing his feelings until his stomach became an endless chasm where his feelings went to fester rather than die, was more than okay with this unspoken arrangement. Sarcasm was a second language to you. You were used to your words not mattering, especially since in your group of friends, your existence seemed to matter far less than everyone else's. You wondered if that was why you and Spike got along so well.

He just got you. Maybe a side effect of him being around you whenever he could. He just got you. In a stupid way. In an annoying way. The kind of way that made you worried that reading minds was also one of his vampiric powers. He wormed his stupid way into your brain, slithering around in his own sort of Spike way til you didn't know where his influence began.

He did sort of have this hypnotic way of speech. Maybe because he was a poet. Poets have to have some sort of hypnotic power, right? Surely, there was some connection between rhythms and brain waves that made the effect of Spike's voice so persuasive. Maybe it's not the rhythm and it's just the honesty. Ironic, since the basis of your "relationship" was built on never assuming that the other meant what they said, but who cares. It gave you guys flavor. Something to keep things interesting.

"I'll have you know; I am a very old-fashioned guy with manners." You snorted as his response. He talked about his "old-fashioned" ways a lot. Maybe to convince you that he was a gentleman. Gentleman your ass, you'd seen what he kept in his crypt.

"My deepest apologies for assuming that a guy that used railroad spikes as a murder weapon of choice wouldn't be above jumping at the opportunity to see me naked."

"Am I that transparent?"

"When it comes to mirrors, yeah." His scoff was lost in the sound of a car horn going off across the street. Damn, you needed a new place. He had complained to you about the noise before. If you didn't leave near a busy street, he would try his luck spending the night far more than he already did. Each blare deepened the scowl on his face as he flinched at the sound, even louder from where he sat in front of it.

"Those death buggies have to be the worst thing to come out of the 20th century. So obnoxious, and for what?"

"I imagine they are more convenient than horse drawn carriages."

"Yeah, more convenient and not even half the charm." He turned his head to gaze out the window. "It's not even a nice car! I'd rather ride around in the fucking Angel Mobile than drive around in that thing."

"You are so dramatic. Usually I just," you swing your leg over his waist, straddling and reaching over to close the window. He swallowed hard at the feeling of your chest pressing against the magazine, the only boundary between him and you, and the nonchalance of the action. "Shut the window." You felt him tense beneath you, his right hand awkwardly meeting your hip, blue eyes staring up at you through dark eyelashes. "Then again, I'm not a pansy who needs complete silence to sleep."

He cleared his throat before he spoke. "I sleep in a cemetery, love, ain't much noise around those parts." His eyes wandered everywhere they could but the worst part about beautiful people is that there is no unsightly place to avert your gaze. He couldn't stare at your gorgeous eyes, or your stunning nose, or your lips to distract himself from the steadily growing boner that you were sitting right on top of. You were no better than he was.

Within the context of the unspoken agreement, this meant absolutely nothing. The boner was just a normal reaction, that didn't have to mean anything. The way he was looking at you was a bit hard to ignore, but that was the way he always looked at you. He was a lot closer right now, sure, but that stupid lovesick look that you have spent years trying to ignore, totally just a joke. Not real at all. A trick of the light, in fact. The hard-on was very real though.

After sitting there for a few seconds too long, you shift your weight to move back to your side of the bed, but his hands keep you in your place. " 'm cold", he mutters, his thumb rubbing circles between where your shorts meet your bare skin.

"Yeah?" You feel him pressing up against your core. "I didn't think you could get cold."

" Me either but-", you lowered yourself completely on his clothed dick and the groan he let out was salacious. "Here we are." The frigid way he moved made his lie believable. Incredibly cautious, hesitant. No idea what to do with himself. He ran his hands along your thighs, up and down your side, one cold hand sliding underneath your shirt, rubbing the hem of it between his pointer finger and his thumb.

You leaned forward, warm breath fanning against his nose. It smelled like mint. You smelled like some sort of cocoa butter. Smooth and soft on top of him and he didn't know if you were going to roll right off or melt into his skin. Your hands come to the sides of his face, and you stare intently at him. He felt like he was under a microscope with the way you looked at him like you were committing each detail of him to memory so that even when you closed his eyes, it was still him burning in the forefront of your mind.

"You gonna kiss me?" You whispered, pressing yourself further into him. He let out a breathy laugh.

"What, a guy's always gotta make the first move?" With that, you leaned down to give him what was meant to be a quick peck. A tester. A tease. But when you give Spike an inch, he takes a mile, and he took the opportunity to devour you. Mouth open, sloppy, wet kisses while his hands worked as eagerly as his tongue did. You were a calming presence, slow and sane as you grabbed fistfuls of his shirt to try and ground the both of you.

Breathing through your nose, you inhaled him. The faint smell of smoke, the fresh smell of whatever he washed the gel from his hair with, the distinctly Spike musk. Your thighs wrapped him more closely, subtly grinding into his lap, ignoring the slight burn on your knees from the friction between them and your sheets. His large hands covered swathes of skin, cooling you where you grew too hot from his touch. When he had his fill, he broke away from you, still nose to nose, a string of saliva still between the two of you.

"Do you wanna spend the night?" Your voice was somehow meek as if there was any way in hell he would say no to you. He breathed out, turning his head into the crook of your neck, leaving searing kisses on your silky skin, worshipping at his altar, and thanking who or whatever got him here tonight. He kisses you from your neck, along your jawline, to the corner of your lips.

"Yes", he whispers against your skin. He bucks his hips into you, the imprint of his cock and the rough material of his jeans kissing your pussy through the thin layers of material. You nearly choke on his tongue at the feeling. Fuck.

Your eyes are closed, hips moving furiously against his, too blissed out to even care about the steadily growing wet patch in your underwear. You're lost in kisses, kisses that overwhelm and confuse and steal your breath until you wonder how much you need to breathe anyway. Along with not needing to breathe, you learned they must have incredible resolve. He chases you. Not like how a wolf chases a lamb but how the sun chases the moon.

He pulls and you push for breath, some sort of reprieve, some time for your mind to catch up with your body because right now everything but the way the seams of his jeans catch your clit is one of the only things on your mind. He pulls you, still, his hands squeezing at your waist, moving up to cup your breasts, thumbing at your nipples, and flicking the already hard peaks. And you push, still, not in protest but in harmony. Your hips pressing down, his jerking up. Your hands tugging his hair, his squeezing your waist. It was good. It was so good.

"What is the point", he starts breathlessly, "of these damn shorts if they're so thin. You're leaking right through, love." He smiles against you, sharp teeth grazing against your cheek as he smirks.

"Take 'em off me then." For once in his life, he takes his time. The desperation of his prior movements forgotten as he looks at you as he trails a finger from your chest down between the valley of your breasts, to your navel. He draws invisible shapes along your stomach, diamonds, hearts, and letters spelling m-i-n-e. And he stalls there. Looking from beneath you, smug as you ground yourself onto his dick in an attempt to move him along.

He was amused. Fascinated. You in your own world, mewling, moaning, putting on a show just for him. Choosing to ignore how sticky your panties had gotten, how much they stuck to your cunt as you wiggled your hips as if you could get any closer. Your tits moving with you, the way your mouth was slightly agape, the way you keened when you rubbed against him just right. It was no motivation for him to move his hands at all, not when it was much more rewarding to angle his hips up and make you see stars. "You gonna cum like this?" He crooned, full of fake sympathy.

"You're really gonna make me get myself off." You rolled your eyes, maybe out of pleasure, maybe out of faux annoyance. Either way, his hand slithered to the waistband of your shorts and dipped even deeper. He left feather-light touches on your clit which sent jolts of electricity up your spine. Overcome with the tightening feeling in your belly, your hands grabbed at his shoulders as your hips worked and worked you snapped. Impossibly wet and dazed, you rocked into him until the high had passed and the stars had left from behind your eyelids leaving only Spike.

His fingers still, in your panties, he moves to slide them and your shorts off your body. You hover slightly, still too sensitive to rub your bare pussy against him. You fidget with the button of his jeans and zipper, Spike's hands coming to cover yours to ease the shakiness. Maybe to give the appearance that he was much calmer than he was. He was painfully hard, and you felt it when you palmed him through his boxers after getting his pants down enough. Where his tip sat was a wet spot. You smirked.

"Did I get your dick that wet?" A shiver went down his spine. The heat from your palm was felt through his boxers. Your hand was barely big enough to cover it. Before either of you was prepared for it, he flipped you on your back. His hands sat on either side of your head while yours removed him from his boxers. He was so big.

You tore your gaze away from his cock to meet his gaze. He still looked at you the same. Pupils widened from lust, cheeks with a slightly pink tinge, lips puffy, eyes looking down at you with the same look they always had. It's then he leans down to kiss you for the millionth time. No urgency, less messy, a kiss like he was trying to wake you from a thousand-year slumber.

Your hand still on his cock, you pumped it a few times, swiping your thumb against his tip to lubricate his dick. He groaned into your mouth, humming in pleasure. You try to line him up to sink in your hole, but he slaps you on the wrist. "Don't want your cunt tonight," he mumbled in between kisses, "Jus' let me feel you."

He pumped his cock a few times before slotting it in between the meat of your thighs. The veins and ridges of his dick would occasionally slide between your folds, but that wasn't the focus. No matter how much you wiggled for him to plant his cock so far deep it kissed your cervix, you were ignored as he squeezed your thighs together, panting as he fucked them.

The juxtaposition made your head dizzy. The softness with which he kissed you and the fervor of his dick between your thighs, them getting wetter with the accumulation of precum leaking from his dick. It only forced him to press harder, leaving handprints from how hard he gripped. "Such a pretty thing, aren't you." He sighed out, his pace still even but his breaths far from it. "Go ahead and touch that pretty cunt f' me."

As much as your brain wasn't working, it wasn't needed to do what you were told. Bleary-headed, your hand traveled from the outside of your leg to between your folds. Still wet from your previous orgasm, it didn't take much to just slip a couple fingers in, moaning as you did. One hand toyed with your tit as the other toyed with your clit, your hips wanting to buck into your hand had it not been for Spike's palm on your stomach.

Had he had the composure, he would have made some sarcastic comment. Slow down, love, what's the rush, is what he would've said had his thrusts not been as sloppy as they were. He pulled away from your lips to see the mess he was making. White beads pooled on the skin of your stomach, dripping down your thighs like liquid pearls. And you. Low warm light bouncing off your skin, lip tucked in your teeth, staring right up at him. It took all of him not to cum at the sight.

Not before you did, he decided, which by the way your moans pitched up wasn't that far away. Each "accidental" slide into you was met with a jerk of your hips. "Stop it", you squealed, the bucking of your hips screaming otherwise.

"Feels too good, doesn't it." Then he did it again. His large hand drifts around before grabbing your abandoned tit, groping it until you hit your limit again. Your chest heaved unevenly as you tried to catch your breath as Spike's hips sped up, stuttered, then stopped as his cum splashed on your stomach and breasts.

Spent and not knowing what to do, he kisses you again. He smiles into it, and to his surprise, you do too. Like it was the only thing that made sense to do. The fuzz gradually fades from your mind, the noise from the multiple fans running and the faint humming of electricity apparent again. There's a breeze coming in from your window and you giggle.

"Are you still cold?"

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