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ilwonuu · 4 months

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𖥔 ͙ࣳ hate the club. k. mingyu

this fic is inspired by this song so pls listen to it <333

“tired of going out, scared ill run into you”

“damn you know i hate the club, but i came cuz i know you’d show up”

summary 𖡼 your friend group goes out every friday. you never feeling up to joining them. you always find an excuse not to come. but now you’re sitting at home with nothing to do. so why not drink a little and hangout with your friends at the club?? what could go wrong? seeing your ex could definitely happen..

warnings- ex to lovers!!, alcohol consumption, smut with semi plot. switch!mingyu, switch!reader, oral sex f.receiving, fingering, riding, pet names- baby,princess,unprotected sex(don’t do it), creampie, multiple orgasms, lmk if i missed anything pls<3

authors note- i read over this like once so if theres any spelling or grammar errors pls let me know!!! i hope u guys love this i loved writing it!!!!

you feel bored with no company tonight. not loving the presence of nothing of your apartment and stuff animals as you usually do. sending seungkwan a quick text telling him you’ll be joining him, seokmin, and chan tonight. getting a sassy text back as usual

kwannie😓- what the fuck. girl don’t play????

kwannie😓- u better not be lying because seokmin and chan are actually gonna be the death of me.

kwannie😓- be ready at 9 ok.

you- im not kidding hoe and yes i am already ready ish???

kwannie😓- ok ill be there at 9 😘😘😘

you smile to yourself continuing to get ready. checking to see if you have a good amount of time to finish your hair. happy to see you have enough time with it only being 8:15.

finishing everything you need to do finally making your way outside after getting a text from seungkwan saying that they have arrived. walking to his car somewhat nervous about what the night has in store for you. you never know you could meet someone? or see someone you absolutely hate.

getting into the car immediately being greeted by your best friends. “y/n!!!! i feel like im seeing a ghost you never fucking leave your house” chan says laughing causing you to send him a glare. “shush be happy im here for once okay”

“no seriously i thought my eyes were deceiving me when i read your text” seungkwan says quickly starting to head to the club they always go to. “ok guys thats enough let her live she doesn’t have to come out with us every time.” seokmin says giving you a slight smile.

“thank you seokmin. the only one who appreciates me” “okay but yes of course she doesn’t have to come out everytime. but she doesn’t come out anytimes!!! this is her first time in like 10 years” chan says laughing with seungkwan as he also finds chans joke hilarious. causing them both to receive a glare.

“very funny chan!!! i will get out of the car and walk back home.” you say looking at him threatening him playfully. “you’re dramatic” kwan says finally pulling into the parking lot of the club.

“im also very nervous to be here.” “if we see anyone we don’t like it’ll be fine y/n we don’t have to interact or anything” chan says knowing exactly who you were thinking of getting out of the car having the rest of you follow his lead into the club.

“yea you’re right..” you say slowly walking behind them into the loud crowd of people dancing. “ok first things first drinks!!!!” seungkwan yells dragging you all to the bar. chan seokmin order vodka shots happily, quickly running to dance in the crowd of people. “can we just get two shots of tequila each?” seungkwan asks for the both of you. smiling at the bartender when his drinks are set in front of you two. “okay lets drink these then lets dance!!!” seungkwan smiles at you quickly taking his shots now waiting for you to do the same.

you nervously take the shots making a grossed out face after downing it with a sip of water. seungkwan pulling you towards the crowd as soon as you were ready shortly finding seokmin and chan. “how do you guys get drunk so fast?” you laugh at seokmin and chan completely lost in the song dancing dramatically. “they are fucking lightweights” seungkwan says causing you both to laugh at them.

“i fucking wish. i only feel a little tipsy” you say scanning around the club with your eyes. “do you want to get more drinks or wait a bit then??” seungkwan asks while pulling you close to dance with him. “nah we can wait” you say over the loud music.

you are really trying to have a good time but this isnt really your thing. you were hoping that the drinks would losen your nerves up a little bit but you were so wrong. now you are dancing completely soberly with seungkwan. trying not to ruin your best friends night. “im gonna go to the bathroom real fast kwannie” you whisper to him before disappearing to find the bathroom. you quickly use the bathroom heading back over to the bar to get a couple more shots. “fuck why did i do this to myself” you say under your breath quickly downing the shots without water this time. feeling a little better making your way back into the crowd searching for any of the three boys you arrived with.

pushing through the crowd trying to find them. you accidentally push someone a little to hard quickly going to apologize. “i am s-so sorry.” you say realizing exactly who you bumped into having them turn and look down at you. “jesus you push fucking h-“ mingyu immediately freezes after seeing you. “fuck y/n? what are you doing here?”

“well this is a public place and a club so i would assume we’re here for the same reason.” you say sarcastically while trying to push past him. “well what are you doing by yourself?” he asks concerned stopping your movements. “where is seungkwan?” he looks around the club quickly scanning seeing if he sees anyone who looks like the boy. “well actually im not sure so if you’ll excuse me i will be continuing to look for my friends.” you say finally trying to push past him again.

“wait just let me help you look for them. it’s kinda depressing being here alone.” he says once again finally letting you push past him to continue looking. he follows behind you slowly. “so uh how have you been?” you scoff stopping to look at him. “are you serious right now? i really would rather not pretend to like you right now okay? just help me find seungkwan and then you can go back to whatever you were doing.”

you say sighing going back to looking for you friends. mingyu doesn’t say another word and just follows you quietly. “why don’t you call him?” he suggests. “i left my phone in seungkwans car like the bright fucking person i am.” you say getting more annoyed as the situation goes on.

“shit you wanna use my phone then? i still have his number from you know..” he says nervously handing you his phone after clicking on seungkwans contact. “y-yea thanks” you take his phone letting the memories wash over you. you patiently wait as the phone starts to ring and shortly someone picks up. “seungkwan??? where did you fucking go??” you are now getting more uncomfortable with the fact that you lost all of them in the span of 10 mins. “um what the fuck mingyu you sound like y/n also why the hell are you calling me?” seungkwan slurs over the phone questioning you. “seungkwan ur drunk. also this is fucking y/n im using mingyus phone dumbass!!” your voice sounding annoyed more now. “girl what? why are you using his phone? are you guys…? um back together?” he asks loud enough for both you and mingyu to hear.

you sigh looking at mingyus eyes go wide at what he just heard. “s-seungkwan can you just fucking tell me where you went? you know what fuck it im just gonna get an uber home okay im tired.” you say slightly tearing up at the stressful situation. “we just went to the bar upstairs y/n. are you sure you wanna leave already we’ve only been here for like an hour.”

seungkwan asks through the phone sensing that something is wrong. “do you want me to send seokmin with you? he said he will come with you.” he offers. “kwannie its fine ill just order it off mingyu’s phone. will you just drop off my phone tmr? i left it in your car.” you say finally after ending the call after hearing his okay.

“mingyu do you mind if i use your phone to order a uber?” you turn to mingyu hoping he will say yes. “yes of course y/n. but you don’t need to do that. cheol said he was here to pick up me and shua but im guessing shua is with some girl so cheol can just drop you off.” he says smiling at you. “okay um let me make sure i have my keys and fuck i don’t they are also in seungkwans car.” you say realizing as you feel your pockets. “wanna just stay at my place tonight?” he blurts out quickly. “mingyu- i- what?” now your confused, tired, and annoyed. “just come sleep at my place. its not that weird y/n. what’s the chance seungkwan is gonna come unlock his car rn? come on i’ll drop you off in the morning i swear.” “its not weird to you? we haven’t spoke in like a year.”

this was not a great idea. you and mingyu ended on somewhat bad terms. he wasn’t willing to commit to you. he ended up treated you like shit because of it. you know this has nothing to do with what he asked but it’s obviously on your mind. you are now confused, tired, annoyed, and overwhelmed.

“y/n i kinda need a answer now. cheol is outside.” he says snapping you out of your thoughts and back into reality. “u-uh okay yea lets go” you say immediately regretting it. mingyu smiles grabbing your hand making the way out of the club to cheols car. quickly getting into the back seat.

“whats up mingyu. hey y/n. y/n????? oh shit hi” he says now realizing that is is actually you. “hello cheol nice to see you” you say softly laughing. “yea you too. um are you guys back together?” he asks out of the blue. “nope!!” you quickly say hoping he doesn’t ask anymore questions. “just drive cheol.” mingyu says and mentally thank him because cheol didn’t ask anymore questions driving silently. you two make it to mingyu’s house after a 10 minute car drive. “ah fucking finally these heels are literally the worst” you say walking into his house kicking them off as you go. “you can borrow some clothes. i think i even have your old pjs in my room.” he says taking off his shoes as well. “im surprised you even still have those.” you say making your way to his room. the memories coming back as you seen his room looks the same way it did when you guys were together. you grab the pajamas making your way to his bathroom quickly changing heading back into his living room. “you want to take my bed? i can sleep out on the couch.” he says throwing a pillow and blanket onto the couch. “no mingyu its fine i can take the couch. you can have your bed.” you say laughing at him slightly going to sit on the couch. “or you can sleep in my bed with me.” mingyu says looking at you cautiously. now leaving you pressured at what he is offering right now. “mingyu. what are you doing? you know that isn’t a good idea. we aren’t together anymore.” you say laying down getting comfortable. “i know we aren’t. but fuck y/n have you not been thinking about us at all? or anything that we had. i miss it. i miss you.”

you look at him with a blank expression. what the fuck do you say? of course you think about him and your relationship. more than you should. “mingyu i do okay. i never stopped really but im not in the mood to get hurt again okay.” “i fucking promise you i will never treat you the same way i did okay?” he moves to sit next to you on the couch moving to grab your hands. “let me make it up to you? let me show you i can be there for you. i want to be the boyfriend you deserve. will you just give me a chance?” you think for a couple seconds.

he seems genuine. you did miss him a lot. a chance doesn’t hurt right? “okay mingyu. i will sleep with you in your bed okay. but i swear if you do anything like how you did before the break-“ he kisses you softly shutting you up. “i promise.” he says holding his pinky up

you wrap your pinky around his smiling as he lifts you and carries you to his room. softly throwing you onto his bed and climbing next to you. “you don’t know how much i missed you. i thought i was never gonna see you again.”

“yep that was the plan until i saw you at the club.” you state not wanting to lie to him. “well im so glad i saw you.” you smile at him. “can i make it up to you? ill make you feel so good y/n if you let me please.” hes already begging and you guys haven’t even done anything but a kiss.

he was always like this. he would immediately get needy after one small touch. mingyu was definitely a fucking switch. most of the time he loved being in control and seeing you beg for him. but everyone knew mingyu always leaned towards the subby side. he will listen to your requests always. if you’re happy he’s happy.

you nod softly at him watching him quickly shift between your legs pull down your shorts and underwear in one swift movement. kissing up your thighs slowly making your breath hitch under his touch. “fuck you’re so wet and i haven’t even touched you baby.” slowly moving his fingers up your slit inserting a finger in. his fingers immediately hit your g-spot causing you to already squirm until his firm touch.

“fuck you’re so tight. i can barely move my finger babe.” watching you closely as he inserts a second and third finger quickly watching as you get wetter from his touch. “g-gyu please more i need more.” you beg him hoping to add something extra to get you closer to your high.

“shh baby let me take my time i promise you’ll get everything you need okay?” he says sweetly pulling his fingers out of you with the noise of your squelch filling the room. “you hear yourself baby? you’re making a mess on my bed already hm?” he coos at you shifting so that his head is in between your legs. gently grabbing your thighs to spread your legs. “i bet you taste as sweet as i remember hm? could eat you for fucking days.” he immediately dives into eating your pussy. licking your slit as he slides one of his fingers back inside you.

“g-gyu oh my god.” eyes rolled back having your back arched as he absolutely devours you roughly sucking your clit fucking his finger into you quicker. looking up at you through his eyelashes not stopping his movements. not even to praise you. he is too pussy drunk and doesn’t want to stop anytime soon. grabbing a hold of his hair pulling on it when his finger hits that spot again making you go crazy. “m-mingyu i’m gonna cum please don’t stop.” and he doesn’t he sucks on your clit harder keeping up his pace with his finger. you come all over his tongue and his fingers. fucked out completely as you watch mingyu lick up your cum and hum.

“you taste so sweet princess. fucking delicious baby.” he smiles at you again moving up to kiss your lips. tasting yourself on his lips.

“what do you want baby? i will give you anything you want.” pulling his shirt over his head looking at you waiting for your answer. “can i ride you? g-gyu please i need you so bad.” he nods quickly. “m’course you can” he moves so he’s sitting up against the headboard of the bed. watching as you move onto his lap.

you have never seen mingyu take his pants off quicker. immediately pulling his dick out pulling your face closer to peck your lips. smiling into the kiss lining up his dick with your entrance slowly sinking down onto him.

mingyu is always more subby with this position immediately begging and pleading for your touch. “f-fuck y/n please move i need it so bad please baby.” he begs you trying not to fuck his hips into you.

you slowly rock your hips into his moaning at the feeling holding onto his shoulders for support. “you’re so tight im gonna cum so quick. i-i’m fuck i’m sorry” grabbing ahold of your hips to move you quicker on him. “i’m so close baby fuck.” he says feeling you bouncing on his dick now trying to chase your own high. “m-me too.” he groans lowly feeling his dick twitch inside of you. “f-fuck can i cum inside or where do you want it?” “inside p-please.” he doesn’t have to be told twice immediately cumming inside of you throwing his head back lost in the intense pleasure

you don’t stop bouncing on him. “babe i’m so sensitive fuck.” he says to you still fucked out holding onto you.

you nod. “i know baby but please you can last a little longer right? for me right? my good boy.” you try to turn him on with your words knowing it will go straight to his dick. he moans at your words pulling you into a quick kiss. “y-yes i’m so good for you.”

you smile at him quickening your movements now really needing his shoulder for support as you feel yourself coming. “f-fuckkk look at you c-creaming on my cock oh shit im gonna cum again.” you feel his cum shoot immediately into you. moaning at the feeling riding out both of your highs.

slowly climbing off of his lap laying next to him. “i missed you so fucking much.” he says pulling you under the covers with him kissing your forehead. “i missed you too but i don’t miss how you think i just want to lay here feeling your cum leak out of me.” you say playfully shifting to show him the puddle that is now under your crotch.

“its fine baby we can shower in the morning. plus what if we fuck again. you’ll just be full of my cum again.” he says with a straight face. you roll your eyes burying your face into his neck.

“i guess we’ll have to explain to seungkwan and cheol why we told them we weren’t back together…” you think out loud before falling asleep in your boyfriends arms.

#Spotify #mingyu #mingyu smut #seventeen #seventeen x reader #seventeen smut #mingyu x reader #mingyu fic #svt hard thoughts #svt x reader #svt imagines #svt fluff #svt smut #svt #svt fanfic

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britcision · 1 year

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Listen I can’t finish it tonight but I’m real real close but next week is gonna be buuuuuuusy so chapter 15 is right on the line of done and we’ll see if I get it up before next Wednesday 👀

If I do, we may not have a WIP Wednesday next week so again, we shall see

This week, have second place from the poll, Waylon and Danny!

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I’ll Take The Highway part vi

Waylon sat back in his seat, back scraping against the wall of the booth as he surveyed the kid in front of him.

Little squirt was tougher ‘n he looked, that much was definitely true. Harley had given him the short run down on their way to the milkshake bar, all the powers she knew he had.

And that he’d been hunted by his folks for a while. Waylon knew how that kinda shit could mess ya up.

He appreciated the heads up too, cuz this kinda shit coming up outta nowhere? Also pretty damn rough. He’d wondered if the kid just wanted to come along for another fight.

If he just wanted another chance to say he’d looked Killer Croc in the eye.

But there was no real bravado there, not even when he challenged Waylon to a rematch. Shit, the kid treated him more normal than most of his henchmen had ever managed to.

Made sense, knowing he was part a ghost an’ fought ghost rogues, but it left Waylon wondering. Apparently he was getting his answer.

Same damn question he’d asked himself a thousand times, ‘specially around the kind of young vigilantes who’d taken a turn to the bad.

Didn’t mean he had a good answer.

He regarded the kid for a long minute, watching the fidgeting, the sudden shyness from a boy who’d literally tackled him from behind on a whim.

This wasn’t just an idle question. Something made him sure of that, and he’d never been involved in all that much of the really weird shit. You heard stories, especially in Arkham.

So he decided to give the kid the best answer he had.

“Cuz I was the worst version of myself. I let myself be the monster they thought I was, got pretty good at it. But it never made me happy.” He paused, mulling it over.

Chuckled softly and looked down into his half drunk milkshake. It was kinda funny how obvious it seemed, in hindsight.

“Shit, there was never even anythin’ I wanted. Not like Penguin, Freeze, or the others. People treated me like a monster so I tried to be one, cuz why the hell not? Couldn’t be worse, could it?”

His gaze shifted back to Danny’s face, watching the kid’s expression. No judgement, which was nice. But he did look confused.

“So you just… got sick of it?” Danny asked, his brows furrowed as he played with his fingers.

Waylon chuckled and shook his head.

“Kinda. Spent a while thinkin’ if people couldn’t treat me with respect, fear’d do. But it ain’t the same. An’ I never had the drive or creative cruelty to stand out in Gotham.”

Danny looked a little incredulous at that, eyebrows rising, but he caught himself before commenting. Snickered and shook his head.

“Yeah, I guess being in a city that’s used to people like Scarecrow and the Joker puts “big and green” into perspective,” he agreed dryly, and Waylon laughed.

It felt good to laugh.

“Oh yeah. City’s got more than its share of low level thugs anyway. I spent a while as extra muscle for the big boys, but I ain’t the takin’ orders sort,” he explained with a modest shrug.

Danny grinned, folding his arms on the table and leaning forward.

“What, a shy and retiring guy like you?” He asked, clearly teasing, and Waylon waved a hand dismissively.

“I’m lucky it was Gotham,” he added after a moment, reflection sobering his mood. “Got sent t’ Arkham. Met Harley. An’ the Bat’s not all that bad. He tried gettin’ me outta the life a couple times.”

Danny cocked his head, a slight frown returning to his face. Following Waylon’s lead.

“How did Batman try and get you out?” There was a little too much intensity for it to be a casual question, and Waylon noted it. Not that he’d figure it out on his own.

Just tryin’ to make sure he didn’t damage the kid.

“Oh, there were a couple ways. Got me moved down to Florida once. Out in the green, away from people. I figured bein’ a wild animal might be more my speed, but it wasn’t. An’ it got messy when I left. Like that whatever he tried, really. There’s lines you can’t uncross.”

Lines like being a cannibal.

Not that he was sobbin’ on a preacher’s shoulder about it. Most of the people he’d eaten were assholes who’d deserved it, and it’d been a preference not a need.

For all people loved to go on about him eatin’ kids and babies, he’d never actually done it. A guy had to have standards.

Made it easy to stop, once he was in a better head space. He and Harley had talked a lotta old shit out.

Kid didn’t need to know those grisly details though, at least not from his own mouth. Watching Danny a moment longer, Waylon came to a decision.

“Look, kid. There’s a lotta reasons people go bad. Some of ‘em can’t be helped. But if they’re not gettin’ anything out of it, if there’s no goal? The appeal runs out. And sometimes all it takes is someone willin’ to reach down an’ haul yer back up to the light.”

He wouldn’t ask if that was the case with whoever the kid wanted to help. Everyone heard stories, ‘specially about heroes meeting their evil selves.

The fear looked personal, but the asking coulda been for anyone. Waylon was in no rush to judge.

Danny mulled over his words for a while, lips moving soundlessly as he frowned down at the table. This time when he looked up, there was a peace in his eyes.

He’d come to a decision. Good for him.

“Thanks, Waylon. You seem like a pretty great guy to me,” he said simply, and Waylon definitely did not feel a lump in his throat.

“This is after years o’ Harley workin’ on me,” he grumbled gruffly. Shaking his head, he slurped down the last of his milkshake quickly.

Nothing like brain freeze to explain being a little misty eyed.

——————

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#dp x dc #wip wednesday #danny fenton dead and loving it #dead on main ship #chapter 15 part vi #danny x jason #but today we talk about waylon #my good good boy

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thefatedthoughtofyou · 9 months

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Sweet Music Playing In The Dark (Be Still, My Foolish Heart) [Part One]

I'm super excited about this "fic" and am so happy to finally start sharing it with you guys! It's really gonna be more of like... a "not-fic" and mostly me rambling on and on about this world I've got in my head.

Some things will probably be contradictory because i constantly think of new things and ways to do things as i ramble, but it's just a loosey goosey overview of the thing! That I'm posting cuz i hope you guys will enjoy it too!

It's all pretty much based on inspiration I've gotten from listening to Bring Me The Horizon so it's almost all gonna be their songs, if i get the links to post! And i hope you enjoy listening to the songs as well! I'll post the song that inspired each part on each part!

It's a friends to lovers au! There will be some Buckingham as well, because Chrissy and Robin are together and have a band together and are Eddie and Steve's besties! Steve is with Nancy at the beginning but there's really not gonna be much details about them aside from the breakup! Eddie also has a partner at the beginning (i haven't decided who yet shh shh shh shh), but there will also be a breakup. Or maybe I'll just have him not able to find the right person. We'll see what happens! But i hope y'all enjoy the ride with me!!!

{ Cute little bat banner is by @1-800-shedevil }

What if they know each other vaguely from robin and chrissy. They aren't close really, just see each other around. Passing in the studio sometimes. Or at events. They're each others besties friends. Besties in law maybe?They chat here and there.

And then covid happens. They're in lockdown. And chrissy and robin get tagged in some musical video challenge that's going around. So they do it, cuz they live together, and because they've been dying to see steve and eddie sing together, they tag them and pass it on. They have each others numbers because of chrissy and robin importance. So they'll both see it. And eddie sends steve a song name, some 80s song, he remembers them chatting about how they love 80s music at an event when they'd both run to hide in the bathroom to be away from the crowds for a bit. And steve text back,

"???" so eddie sends the post, and steve is like,

"oh!!! Oh my god yes let's do it!" So they do a little face time split video thing and its not a huge deal. Its goes a little crazy for a day or two and then calms. But then steve wakes up to robin calling him, and like 10 missed calls from her already. And he answers all groggy in the middle of the afternoon, lockdown, he can sleep when he wants damn it. And he's like,

"whats happened?" And she SHOUTS his name into the phone, he groans. But then she tells him to check Eddie's instagram, and then promptly hangs up on him. And he's like blinking himself awake still but he clicks it open and pulls up Eddie’s. It's actually the first thing that pops up on his feed cuz he really doesn't follow that many people... like... at all. He can see eddie, sitting on his bed, guitar in his lap and one of his little music machines next to him. Steve clicks it and feels himself blushing because of what Eddie's saying.

Basically, he starts of with,

"okay so normally i wouldn't comment or respond to like... assholes in the notes and comments but, I'm locked in my apartment and haven't talked to anyone face to face in like a fucking month an half and am just scrolling through all these stupid fucking comments so lets break this down." He shakes his hair out of his face, it's even longer than normal, his bangs are falling into his eyes. He settles back in, leans closer over his guitar, pointing into the camera.

"All you assholes. Calling Steve's music like... bland pop whatever blah blah blah. Have you listened to his stuff??? Cuz like, not to get TOO into it. Just... oh fucks sake hang on." He leans off the bed, making a weird strangled noise as he stretches. He manages to get hold of a hair band and shoved his hair up into a severely messy bun. Pushing his bangs to the sides he settles back in with his guitar and plays a bit of one of Steve's songs.

Steve feels his face getting hotter and hotter. He's still with nancy. But she's locked down at her own place and it's not even attraction making him blush. It's the fact that eddie munson, heavy metal rockstar man, is playing one of his songs, peice by peice, and laying down some serious music theory on his fans.

He plays it bit by bit until a small section of the song is playing out over his little recorder. And its acoustic and not electric like the actual song. But all the parts are there, and it sounds good. Steve can't stop watching. Barely blinking. Eddie stops playing and looks back into the camera, eyes a little wild, he's really been going at it for awhile. And he's like,

"steve might be, technically, a popstar, which, isn't really even THAT true. He jumps genres just like we do, but thats not the point. The point is, there are so many fucking... the fucking layers??? The goddamn depth of the composition of these songs he's making? He's a musical genius okay? Like... his songs are bonkers when you break them down okay?? So of i see one more of you cunts come into my comments and tell me to stop associating with popstars, which is a whole fucking OTHER topic im choosing to ignore. Dont fuckin tell me who to associate with you pretentious fucks. Anyway. Dont fuckin talk about his music until you fucking LISTEN to his music. The skill and precision it takes to make music like this? And in all the genres he ventures into, the skill level stays. Like...." eddie makes a wild flourishing motion.

"This dudes fuckin nuts okay? He's got fucking bars. He's got fucking talent. And he's my fuckin friend. So shut the fuck up. Mind your own business. Or get with the fucking program and go fucking listen to his shit. Fuck. Got me all fuckin heated now. Bunch'a dumbasses." He shakes his head. Clicks the music play back off, and sets his guitar down next to him. He pushes his bangs up off his head, breathes out a deep breath and rolls his eyes.

"Just... be nice. Or stay out of my comments. He's a friend. He's a fucking hard worker. And i dont take kindly to people calling themselves my "fans", he does the air quotes,

"and then showing up and shitting on steve just cuz he doesn't sing metal." Eddie lets his eyes move away, and then back, and then he smirks, reaches for the camera and says

"Not yet, anyway." He winks, and the video goes black.

Steve is so fucking flattered he has no words. And it only gets worse when he scrolls and sees chrissy and robin cheering eddie on. But THEN he sees Jeff, Andy, and Gareth in the comments too, saying stuff as well. Jeff leaves a trail of fire emojis and then says,

"yes!!! We use Steve's stuff at warm ups alllll the time!!! His shit will rock your world!"

And steve is just, so fucking flattered. He likes the post and tries to think of a way to respond. He thanks eddie in the comments. After checking his own and seeing some of HIS fans saying similar stuff about eddie and his band.

So he comments and doubles down,tell HIS fans he feels the same. He doesn't tolerate hate toward his friends. And then, he grabs the box from under his bed. Pulls out his stack of Corroded Coffin ticket stubs. He's been to.... several shows. Like a lot. Not always front row. He and robin love lawn seats. So they hang back there, and party with the kids and make a good space for themselves, dustin had started a lawn mosh three or four times. But he just makes a video, says,

"its come to my attention some of you think i couldn't possibly be a fan of Corroded Coffin. And i just woke up like an hour ago and im not generally good with words so im not gonna say anything. I'm just gonna do this." He holds up the stubs, all stacked together at first, and then he slides his thumb and the stubs fan out, he's got like... 15 to 25 of them.

He smiles. Fans himself a bit with them, holds them closer to the camera so people can see they're actually Corroded Coffin tickets and then pulls them back. He gives a little toothy smile and a peace sign and then turns the camera off. He goes to take a shower and comes back to a comment from eddie under his video thats just,

"YOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! FUCKIN WHAT!?!? OUR BIGGEST FAN YOU SAY?? 🤣😈🔥🔥🔥💋💋💋"

Cuz he's an emoji slut and had been up for... over 24 hours making that video and just losing his shit a little. But then he also gets a personal text from Eddie and he's like,

"holy shit. Have you really been to that many of our shows?" And steve is like,

"yup. More actually. Ive seen you a few times at festivals from backstage too" and they get to chatting.

Steve tells eddie about dustin starting the lawn moshing and eddie loses his shit again cuz that was so cool to him and the guys, that the lawn had been moshing like the pit. And thats how they start really talking and becoming actually friends and not just semi sort of adjacent friends. Robin and Chrissy add them both to the same group chat and it just blossoms from there.

They dont really post anymore videos, alone or together. But then, after lockdown, a music award show comes to them both and asks if they'd wanna perform a song together as a suprise for the show. And Steve's kind of hesitant. Cuz he doesn't know if he can pull off a Corroded Coffin song. But eddie just claps him on the back and is like,

"dont worry. We're gonna play one of yours" and steves like,

"shouldn't we talk about it a little?" And the band boys chime in that they've been DYING to perform one of his songs. And steve is just so flattered. But he's also like,

"i dont... know. How's my song work with you guys and your style? Im not exactly a heavy metal guru." Eddie smirks at the word, throws his arm over Steve's shoulder and says,

"oh steve. Lemme open your eyes. Lemme show you what you can really do." He widens his eyes cheekily and he and the boys take him to their studio to show him what they have in mind.

When they perform, it starts with just steve alone with his guitar, the stage behind him dark. He gets through the beginning and then the band kicks in with their heavy style and the crowd 'ooohs'. Steve finishes the first verse and then the lights come up, the band goes harder and Eddie comes out from behind Gareth and starts playing his guitar, walks up to the second mic and starts singing and everyone goes CRAZY.

Steve matches Eddie's energy for the whole performance. Eddie jumping and playing and sliding to his knees when he's not singing. Steve jumping to the beat and playing when its Eddie's time to sing. Both of them leaning in close to one mic to sing and play their guitars in unison a few time. The crowd screaming making them both smile.

The crowd screams loud again when Steve leans against Eddie's back as they play, head falling back to lay on his shoulder. And then Eddie is hard core screaming the end of the song. Steve bouncing on his toes as he plays the final notes and the light fall and the stage goes black.

The comments on the videos online are almost all about how GOOD it sounds. And how well their voice go together. And a ton of Corroded Coffin fans being like,

"look at the little popstar man go!!! He's a little rocker at heart!" Cuz steve had been jumping around, keeping up with eddie as he played his guitar and yelled into the mic with him. And Steve's fans are like,

"holy shit! I haven't seen him look that happy on stage in ages!! He's a rockstar!!!" Everyone coming together and agreeing that rock agrees with steve! Even if he doesn't go their on his own in the future, they're glad he's friends with eddie and can venture there if he wants too, when he wants too. Because eddie is always happy to have him. They hug super tight at the end, eddie grabbing Steve's hand and holding it over their head as he screams,

"make some fucking NOISE!! FOR STEVE. FUCKING. HARRINGTON!" and the crowd fucking loses it as they smile and walk off, Eddie's arm draped over Steve's neck, both of them sweaty and hot and beaming.

#Sweet music playing in the dark #sweet music part 1 #steddie #steddie au #rockstar!eddie munson #popstar!steve harrington #friends to lovers #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #steddie ficlet #my writing #mine #my fic #steddie fic #Spotify

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warmaidensrevenge · 2 years

Text

Pairings: Eddie Munson x Plus size reader

A/N: Alright here we goooooo. I'm going to be setting up my rewrite of season 4. With our reader. This will be very close to the show with some minor changes. This is part 1 of 2 of season 4. Not proof read and no word count. Hope you like it.

If you want to read my other work you can find it HERE

Warning: 18+ a little smut cuz I felt like it, cursing, mentions of sex, smoking

Part 7: Mortified

Summary: Stranger than fiction

Eddie woke up before you the next morning. For a few minutes he admired you while you slept.

This new feeling washed over him. Something he never really had before.

Hope. Hope for more days like this. Hope that this beautiful relationship will go the distance.

In fact, he vowed to do whatever it took to make sure that he didn't fuck this up.

He looked up into the morning sky and whispered. " God? Hey man...if you're up there, I have a request. I know that we don't have that kind of relationship. Or anything at all. But....if you could do me a solid." He looked back at you and softly smiled. " I really want to go with her to Michigan." He returned his eyes to the sky. "Please help me graduate."

You stretched your arms and legs until they cracked before opening your eyes.

Everything felt and looked different. Greens were greener. The fresh air smelled even better. The birds singing didn't annoy you like it has before. And it made you smile. You were different now too.

You turned around and saw Eddie sitting at the edge of the perch with his legs dangling. Puffing on a cigarette.

He had his jeans back on but no shirt.

He turned to you as you rustled around. That beautiful boy with the amazing smile and loving eyes.

Man you loved him. So so much.

He looked at you and grinned. "Good morning, pretty girl."

You yawned. " Morning."

You sat up and whimpered a little, feeling the soreness between your legs. And as the blanket fell from your chest, you realized that you were still completely naked.

"Shit!"

You grabbed and held the blanket to cover yourself back up.

He frowned. " What? What's wrong?"

You felt your cheeks flush with embarrassment. "Munson... I'm naked."

He chuckled. "And? You look amazing."

You turned your eyes back to him and watched as he tossed his cigarette. He then crawled back to you.

He picked up a corner of the cover and smirked while you pulled it away from him.

"Munson, I haven't been this naked in public since I was coming out the womb."

He shook his head and aughed while pulling you into his arms. " Well then you better get used to it. I plan on getting you naked as much as possible."

You playfully shoved him. " Stop it."

He rolled you over to your back and pinned you. " Not in public I mean. Unless you want to."

He raised a brow trying to convince you that it was totally acceptable.

" I don't think so, bud."

He smirked. " More for me then."

His words made you feel better. You were happy to know that even though you're fat, he didn't care. He liked you in more ways than one. And it made you feel good being wanted.

...

The rest of April was... sexually unrestrained.

The amount of sex you and Eddie had could give pornstars a run for their money.

All he had to do to get you going was tap his fingers on his lunch box. Or bend over to pick up a pic.

You went completely feral. And he was absolutely the same way.

However, being the responsible one in the relationship, you decided on something.

There were only three rules that both of you needed to follow like commandments.

1. Two forms of protection. i.e Birth control and condoms. (Your idea)

2. Not while your dad or Wayne were in the same building. (Also your idea)

3. It doesn't interfere with graduating. (Who was anyone kidding. Your idea too)

And Eddie made it damn near impossible to remember each one when the time came.

In school, you guys would " go off campus" for lunch.

That was a big fat lie. He would pull out of the parking lot like a bat flying out of hell, just to park in the woods by the picnic table.

He then would drag you to the back and fuck you like there was no tomorrow.

After school, it was your place.

In the foyer, on the couch, on the kitchen counter. Even on the stairs.

But only once, because it left bruises. And Eddie didn't like hurting you like that.

It happened at the very least once a day until it was your time of the month.

That week was the longest week of Eddie's existence.

He masturbated and humped his pillow so much that he actually got blisters and had to buy a new pillow for you. (He didn't want you to use a cum stained pillow when you slept over.)

Sure he told you a little white lie that he got the blisters working on the van. And that he needed new pillows anyway. Still, that week was really hard. Especially when he would hold you and you smelled like strawberries and honey. Which was all the time. Or when you gave him little kisses on his neck.

Yeah, that drove him fucking bonkers.

So imagine his need to feel that tight wet pussy the day after you finish.

It was Friday night and the campaign just ended. Everyone but you and Eddie were heading out.

He could have laid you down on the table and made love to you over and over again the second the others left. But he had an idea.

You had your back to him while putting all the empty containers in your backpack. All of a sudden, a few lights went out.

You looked up then turned around to see him locking the door.

" Munson?"

He smirked and went to his throne. Holding his arms up for you. " Come here, beautiful."

You blushed and put the stuff in your hands down. You then hurried to him. But instead of sitting on his lap like you normally did, he turned you around and had you sit down. With your back pressed against his chest and his legs between yours. Spreading them apart more than you were comfortable with.

However, before you could complain, he pushed your braids to the side and kissed the slope of your neck. At the same time, his hands started caressing your breasts.

Pushing them together and squeezing them in a circular motion.

Making you forget your name and give in to him entirely.

You turned your face towards him and begged silently for his lips.

He got the hint right away and pulled your chin up to meet his lips.

He tasted so sweet from the cookies. And his tongue kept teasing yours. Making you slightly frustrated at him for it. But one of his hands went down your belly until he touched your mound.

You instinctively grabbed his wrist and leaned back. " Munson, what are you doing?"

"Trust me. You'll like this." He said into your mouth before kissing you again.

This time, he put his whole tongue in and massage yours with his. You whimpered at the feeling, but gasped when you felt his fingers pressed hard on your bundle of nerves.

You moved your head away from him to look down at his hand.

His circles made your body all tingly.

" You like that?" He whispered.

You turned your face to him again and hummed an uh-huh.

" Yeah?" He smirked. "Then you're gonna love this."

He then slid his hand in your bottoms. Under your panties.

Your head fell back as you raised your hips and moaned.

" Fuckin' I love how wet you get for me." He cooed.

"Oooh f-faster please." You replied.

He growled at your comment and pressed his hard on against your ass. Doing as you asked.

" Yes! Fuck yes! God- d-don't stop." You begged.

He chuckled. " I wouldn't dream of it. Not until you cum for me."

Your eyes rolled back at his words and his touch. Then, you felt a finger inside of you. Doing a come hither motion.

" God you're so tight." He whispered.

You quickly felt that knot start to unravel in your lower belly. And when he went to nibble on your neck, you let go.

It came. Hard and slow. You held his wrist to hold his hand in place as you grinded your hips.

"OH G-" You cried out.

He brought his lips to your ear. " That's my girl. Cum on my hand."

You panted and shivered as the wave washed over you. After, you went limp on him.

" Mmmmm." He purred. " Be a good girl and take your clothes off for me."

You pressed your forehead on his chin and shook your head lightly. " I-I don't think I can go again."

He kissed your temple. " Please...I need to feel you."

He gave you a minute before you got up and started getting undressed.

When you turned around, he was completely naked and already had on a condom.

He smiled seductively as he tapped his thighs. " Come sit on this cock."

You immediately blushed and looked away. " Munson?!"

He frowned. " I'm sorry...Please come here."

You looked back to him and went.

His dick got so hard watching you walk to him. Your thighs rubbing together and your big tits jiggling, made it ache.

When you were close enough, he sat up straight and pulled at your hips. He then licked a fat line from the top of your navel to the middle of your chest.

After, he took the left breast into his mouth. Causing your fingers to wrap in his curls.

He swirled his tongue around the raised bud and pressed his lips light against it. Then he leaned back and spread his legs apart, turning you back around.

He guided you backwards onto him.

He lifted one of your cheeks and lined himself with your entrance.

You used his knees for balance as you lowered on him. Only fucking his tip for a few seconds.

Eddie held onto you and let you take however much you wanted.

But all of a sudden, instead of working him in little by little, you took the whole thing. Causing him to squeeze your hips at the tightness he felt.

You must have wanted him as badly as he wanted you. And didn't want to waste anymore time.

You dug your nails into the meat of his thighs when you felt a breath taking pain.

It was deafening and almost blinding. All you could do was sit there and figure out if you liked it or not.

Eddie on the other hand, never felt so good in his entire life. He always thought that that G- spot was a myth. However, he was clearly wrong.

His head had hit the end of you and now he had to show some restraint. He wanted to move and hit it again. But he didn't want to overwhelm you. Just in case it wasn't your thing.

You took a few seconds and decided you most definitely liked it. You raised your bottom up and dropped it back down. Stimulating that spot again.

Then your body took control.

You haven't been bouncing anymore. You were rolling your hips back and forth. Causing Eddie's tip to hit the target better and frequently.

You felt the pressure build inside you. Your moans grew louder and echoed through the room. So did his.

" Shit. Shit. Shit....Fuck!" He breathed heavily.

As soon as he felt your walls flutter, he came.

You did too when he slipped his hand back between your thighs to rub your clit.

Both of you went limp this time and tried to catch your breaths.

" S-sorry. I-I couldn't hold back anymore." He confessed.

You swallowed and shook your head. "D-don't be. That was...so good."

He chuckled lightly and wrapped his arms around you. "I'd say it makes the top 3."

...

Days after you still felt that dull ache in your vagina.

It wasn't terrible but it definitely put a hold on intercourse for a bit.

Eddie of course, could tell that you were uncomfortable and felt awful. You hadn't said anything about it, but he could see it in your eyes when you sat down.

So he had to do something.

He went to the store and grabbed a few things he thought might help.

You had been at work for about two hours before your very handsome boyfriend came in.

You smiled at him as he came to the counter.

" Hey there, pretty girl."

" Hey bud."

He leaned over the glass case and gave you a little kiss.

" How you feeling?" He asked.

" Good. I thought I was gonna pick out a movie for us and see you tonight."

He reached up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. " Yeah. I just came to see if you can take a quick break."

You looked over to Robin and she nodded.

He winked at you and met you around the counter. But before you guys went to the back room, Steve popped his head over the shelves in the action section.

" No sex on the employee couch, L/N."

You rolled your eyes and gave him the bird while Eddie grinned.

You slowly sat down and held your arms up for him.

" I got you some stuff."

You gave him a surprised look. " Oh?"

He went to the spot across from you and put a plastic bag between you.

You frowned when he didn't come to cuddle.

" I'll hold you once you see what I got you." He said when he saw the little pout.

You nodded and went through the bag.

He had gotten you a small pillow, some Tylenol, candy, couple of Cokes and a...lemon?

You were just about to say something but he spoke first.

" I uhh got it because it reminded me of that dress you wore." He scratched the back of his neck. " It's the same color right?"

Your heart just melted. He actually remembered that.

You smiled and nodded. " It was."

He grinned. " Good. And you could put the juice in your ice tea. See a multi purpose lemon."

You giggled and handed him one of the sodas.

He pulled out his keys and opened your bottle before he opened his.

"Thank you. You're sweet."

He gave you his cheeky smile. " Only the best for my girl."

You blushed at that. Absolutely loving that you were in fact his girl.

He winked at you and took a swig of his pop.

" Hmm if you're this nice to me now, I can't imagine what you would do when I let you do anal."

The soda squirted out of his nose as he choked.

"Je-jesus Christ y/n!" He coughed, pulling out his bandana.

While he cleaned himself up, you giggled.

He looked at you and licked his lips. " Are you serious?"

By the silly grin you had on your face, he knew you were joking. But he decided from now on, he would always have lube available. Even though he knew how wet you got, he wouldn't need it.

...

Thursday evening you found yourself in Eddie's bed for the night.

You were listening to music and working on homework while Eddie sat across from you, working on tomorrow's campaign.

One thing led to another and then you were naked, laying on your back. With Eddie fingering you.

You felt yourself adjusting to the second finger while he moved his mouth across your chest to the other breast. He cupped and massaged. Lightly tugging on your bud.

You white knuckled his sheets as you quietly came.

Eddie smiled to himself. He then pulled his hand away and went to put on a condom.

Your hips jerked from the sensitivity when he placed rock hard member between your folds. Rubbing his head up and down.

You moved your hands to his waist. Preparing for entry.

He slid in slowly enough so you can get used to his stretch. But as soon as he got halfway he growled.

You felt so good and your pussy hugged him so tight. Everything about you was more than he could ever hope for. And he wanted it all. He wanted to ruin you the way you ruined him for anyone else.

He reached down to hook your leg on his hip and went for that spot that made you tremble on his cock. The spot that made you speechless and had your eyes rolling back into your head.

Eddie was good at a lot of things. But this. He was King. Each breath taking thrust was hard and deep and fantastic.

He only had to do it a few times before you felt hot again.

"Sh-shit." He grunted. " Already?"

"F-feels soooo g-" You tried to say.

He shallowly pumped faster and faster. Causing your hips to crash into his. And had your tits bouncing in his face.

He then snaked his hand back down to your clit. Rubbing it again. Your eyes rolled back and you saw stars.

His thrusts became sloppy and his kisses were wet. But all of it only added to the immense pleasure you were feeling.

"Fuuuuu-" He moaned against your skin as you both came together.

After you both came down from that high, he laid there giving himself an attaboy for holding back long enough to get you to cum again.

A few minutes later, you got up to put on an oversized shirt. Heading to the bathroom right after. You looked in the mirror and saw bite marks and small bruises across your chest.

You loved how he always kept the marks where no one but him would see. It felt like a naughty secret.

Eddie came in and wrapped his arms around you. Putting his chin on your shoulder. " You feeling okay?"

You looked at his reflection. " I feel better than okay."

He raised a brow. " Yeah?"

You turned around in his arms and hopped up to kiss him.

He chuckled at how adorable you were. " Mmm, wanna shower with me?"

Normally, you would have been so insecure about your body. But Eddie made you feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. And that built your confidence up.

While tugging your bottom lip, you nodded.

You both squeezed in and laughed while washing each other.

Once you were done, you gave him a quick peck and got out.

When he was finished shaving, he came out with a towel wrapped around his hips. His hair was still damp and he looked so damn good.

If you weren't so tired, you would have asked to go again.

He put his red plaid boxers on and laid with you.

He was humming and scratching your head. While you traced his tattoos with your fingertips.

" Munson?"

" Hmmm?"

" Do you think it's time to start telling people that we're together?"

" Uhhh " He cleared his throat. " Everyone kinda knows."

You looked up at him. " What?"

He chuckled nervously. " I couldn't keep it a secret."

You smiled. " Me neither. I told Nancy."

He gasped. " How dare you?!" He got to his knees and started tickling your sides.

" Munson! Ahhh nooooo." You giggled.

He then went from tickling to kissing all over your face.

" Mmm so everyone knows?" You asked.

He removed his lips from your chin and looked at you. Stroking your hair and grinning like the happiest guy on earth.

" Yeah. I made everyone promise not to say anything until you were ready."

You moved his bangs to the side." I see."

" Wayne said, and I quoted. It's about damn time. I'm happy for you son. But no more slumber parties."

You narrowed your eyes at him. " Is that why you take me home before he gets off work?"

He hung his head. Leaning his forehead on your collar bone. " Yeah."

You rested your cheek on the side of his head. " Well, it's probably for the best...Don't want anyone to catch us with our pants down."

He laughed and looked back up.

What was it about this that made him feel like a giddy little school girl? He had fun with a lot of girls before. But this was more than fun. It was more than sex.

The only thing he could think of was true love. Real actually love. And he had been so cynical about it, that he never thought he would ever experience this.

Now all he wanted, all he could think of was you.

Eddie was getting lost in his beautiful head of his. " You okay Munson?"

He nodded and gave you a kiss on the forehead.

You let out a happy little sigh. " Good...I uhh hope you'll be okay with sneaking through windows again."

He tilted his head a little and looked at you puzzled.

" We gotta tell my dad that, not only are you not batting for the other team, but that we're together."

He raised both brows. "Right. I like sneaking in. It makes things more exciting."

You smiled. " It doesn't doesn't it?"

He laughed a little. " We'll tell him tomorrow."

...

The next morning you woke up before him.

You looked over and saw him happily sleeping away. Spooning the pillow. You got jealous for a second but then you looked at the clock.

" Shit! Munson, wake up. We're gonna be late to the rally."

He groaned. " We're soooo not going to that. Can't we just stay here?"

You smacked his butt. " We're not skipping, Munson. You need to study for Ms. O'Donnell's. And Wayne's coming home soon. He's gonna ground you if he catches me here."

He threw a small tantrum before finally getting up.

You both dawned on your Hellfire shirts and headed off to school.

You guys ended up missing the rally.

Eddie convinced you that few more minutes of making out in the back of the van would be better. Besides, no one was gonna be missing you two anyways. Everyone knew so it wasn't weird when you guys weren't around.

You were heading to the ladies room after the quick make out session, when a red haired girl came out and ran into you.

She said she was sorry before taking off.

You knew her. She was Lucas's ex-girlfriend.

When you went into the bathroom you immediately heard whimpering coming from one of the stalls. Then you heard a scream.

"Go away, go away, go away, go away, go away!"

"Hey?" You called out. "You ok?"

The sounds that she was making scared you.

" Hey?" You called out again and reached for the stall handle. "Open the door."

When she didn't, you started knocking. " Please open the door. I can help."

Her screaming suddenly stopped.

Officially creeped out, you stepped back slowly.

Chrissy Cunningham open the door. She looked so frightened.

"What- what happened Chrissy?" You asked. " You okay?"

She wiped her tears away and walked out.

What the hell?

You follow her out and watched as she scurried down the hall.

Completely freaked, you forgot that you had to pee and went to the cafeteria.

...

Eddie saw you and told Grant that was on his right to move. " That's her seat."

You sat down with confusing thoughts of what just happened swarming in your head. It was so bad that you didn't notice your boyfriend ranting about something. That was until he slammed his hands on the table and climbed up on it.

" As long as you're into band or science...or parrtieees...or a game where you toss balls into laundry baskets."

Eddie walked down the table and stared at the jocks.

" You want something freak?" Jason shouted as he got up from his seat.

You pushed your chair back to stand up and say something but got this look from Eddie. Making you cross your arms and huff.

He turned back to look at Jason and stuck his tongue out. Put up his hands to mimick horns just before smirking and dropping his hands back down. He turned around and walked down the table.

" It's forced conforming." He said before jumping off the table. "That's what's killing the kids!"

He scared one of the teachers walking by.

Everyone at the table chuckled while you gave him small smile. Still not able to get Chrissy's screams out of your head.

"That's the real monster." He said as he sat back down, side eyeing you with a smirk.

You watched as he popped a pretzel into his mouth and held up the bag to offer you some. You shook your head listening to Dustin's awkwardly speaking.

"So uhh, speaking of monsters, uhh, Lucas has to do his, uhh, balls in laundry baskets game. So," Dustin chuckled as Eddie stared him down. "He's not gonna be able make it to Hellfire tonight. Annnd I know there's no way we can beat your sadistic campaign without him. So me and Mike, we were talking, shooting the shit, and we were thinking that maybe we might-"

"Postpone." Mike interrupted.

As all the guys yelled, you saw Dustin giving you the help me look.

" Over my dead body!" Grant said angrily.

"Shut up!" Eddie yelled. Making you sink into your seat.

While chewing on a pretzel he asked. " You're saying Sinclair's been taken in by the dark side?"

"Uh, something like that." Mike said.

" Something like that?" He mocked Mike and threw a pretzel at his head.

You furrowed your brow. " Munson!"

He ignored you and addressed the kids again. " And rather than find a sub for him, you want....you want to postpone The Cult of Vecna?"

" I....I don't want to postpone it. We don't want to postpone it. It's just that you know, most of the subs will be at the championship game." Mike tried to explain.

"Hey common man you did it for y/n?" Dustin mumbled.

Eddie gave him a look that made you glad that you weren't Dustin. But he didn't respond to it.

Instead he got up from his chair.

" Oh it's the championship game?" He asked sarcastically.

You opened your mouth to say something but he held a finger up. You bit your lip and stood quiet. Dustin was right though. You felt like Eddie could postpone it. You guys really did need Lucas.

"Uh yeah?" Mike spoke, looking confused.

Eddie narrowed his eyes at Mike. " Can I level with you? Gareth and y/n and myself graduate this year."

You felt Eddie's hand on your back when he passed you. He was going on and on. But the conversation drowned out when you saw Chrissy come into the cafeteria. Your eyes followed her to her boyfriend Jason.

The laughing of the group brought you back.

"This year is different. I got my girl." Eddie said while pointing to you.

You gave him a thin smile and looked back at Chrissy. She looked totally fine.

" This year is my year. I can feel it. '86 baby!"

You looked back at Eddie. He had this big beautiful smile on his face.

You loved him so much it hurt. You really did hope that he would graduate and come to Michigan with you.

Thoughts of living together, slow dancing in the kitchen replaced the thoughts of Chrissy.

They made you feel good. But for some reason you couldn't shake this feeling of dread. It was the same feeling you had before you and Eddie started dating.

Your eyes followed him as he picked Mike and Dustin up by the shoulders. Walking them away from the table and pushed them off.

After, he came back to his spot next to you.

" Hey Munson, don't you think that we can put it off? Just for a week."

Eddie looked at you and tilted his head. Opening his mouth. " Pretty girl, if I-"

You put a finger on his lips. "Let me stop you right there. Cuz it looks like you're gearing up for a long one. And I don't have it in me right now to argue."

You knew when he got like this, there was no changing his mind.

You looked up finding Dustin's eyes. Mouthing an I'm sorry and shook your head.

You then dropped your gaze to your hands on your lap. While picking at your nails, Eddie leaned in placed his hand on yours.

" What's wrong, pretty girl?"

You licked your lips and met his worried brown hues. "Ummm let's go to the van."

He grinned and raised an eyebrow.

" Get your head out of the gutter, Munson. I just wanna talk to you about something."

He leaned back with his hands up acting all innocent. But after, he got up and held out his hand. You took it and let him lead the way.

"I don't know how to explain it. I don't even know what it was. But it scared the shit out of me. Especially since she's acting all nonchalant about it."

Eddie put his hand on your lower back. "I wonder if it has anything to do with her asking for some stuff."

You turned to look at him. " I didn't know you sold to her."

" I don't. I was surprised too when she asked me for some today in second period. I'm supposed to meet her at the picnic table after school."

You hung your head and your knee started to bounce. "Oh...ok."

Eddie stood up right away and grabbed your hands. Pulling you up as well. " Hey...You don't have to worry about me doing anything."

You shook your head." No, I'm not worried about that. I trust you. Just...be nice okay? There's something up with her and the last thing she needs is for you to be a butt head."

" Hey! I'm always nice."

"No Munson, your definition of nice is what happened in the cafeteria with Mike and Dustin. Be nice like how you are with me."

He smiled and gave you a kiss on the cheek. " Okay, pretty girl. I'll be nice."

" Not too nice though."

He grabbed both of your hands and put them behind you. Pulling you so that your bodies touched.

He smirked. "I'll be nice. But she doesn't get you nice...speaking of you....You have a free period. Maybe I can be too nice to you."

You held back your smile. "Munson, don't you have O'Donnell next period?"

He hung his head. " Yesss."

You lifted his chin and made him look at you. " After the game? My place? Dad's heading out of town...If you're good, I'll wear that thing you got me."

His eyes went wide and he slowly leaned back. " Really?"

You gave him a seductive grin. " Really, really."

He swallowed thickly and his eyes turned dark. The corners of his mouth turned upwards. " Might have to postpone after all."

" After all the shit you gave our friends. I don't think so. But definitely after." You lifted to your toes and gave him a quick kiss. " Maybe we could do that reverse cowgirl thing again."

His cock throbbed. You were getting too good at getting what you wanted out of him.

You then gave him another kiss and started back for the school.

He stood there watching you walk away and shook his head. With a very big smile.

God I love her. He thought.

You turned around and held out your hand for him. "Coming bud?"

" Tonight for sure." He said under his breath while jogging to you.

You guys spent the rest of lunch by your locker. As soon as the bell rang you shoo'd him away.

When he left, Dustin and Mike approached you.

"Y/n, you have to convince Eddie to postpone." Dustin pleaded.

" I'm sorry guys, I tried. But you know how he is. No luck on finding a sub?"

They both shook their heads.

You shrugged. " I'm sorry. But it's Eddie's last campaign before he graduates. He won't change his mind. Maybe you could try Sinclair again?"

Dustin's eyes widen. " Shit! Why didn't I think of that? Nevermind, y/n. We got a sub."

Before you knew it, Dustin was running away. You and Mike looked at each other and shrugged. Then you laughed seeing Mike chase after him.

...

You stood by Eddie in the school's drama room, handing him cookies when Mike and Dustin walked in with their sub. You smiled at the sight of another girl.

" Absolutely not!" Eddie said.

You smacked his arm. " Munson, you asked for a sub and they brought one. Begers can't be choosers."

" This is Hellfire club, not babysitting club." He retorted.

You shook your head and rolled your eyes.

Before you left to finish setting up the table. You bent down a little and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

" Be nice or we can forget the princess Leia costume." You whispered in his ear.

He stared at you as you walked away. There's no way in hell he was gonna miss out on you dressing up in a white silk robe.

When the campaign was ready to start, you were happy to see that Eddie let the new girl join.

This should be fun.

You introduce yourself to the little girl. Her name was Erika and man was she feisty. You liked her a lot.

As the campaign ended with Lady Applejack landing a critical hit on Vecna, everyone cheered.

It was a bittersweet ending to a great story.

You were almost done cleaning up the snack table when you felt arm wrap around your waist.

" I'm sorry you died." Eddie tried to console you while you turned around to face him.

You shrugged. "Eh. It was for the team."

" Yeah, but you were just 1 level away from toping all your abilities to level 20.

You put your arms around his neck. " Well Munson, if you didn't keep bringing Vecna back from the dead, maybe I could have leveled up before we graduated."

He pulled at your hips so your bodies were flush. " I'm sorry, pretty girl. What can I do to make it up to you?"

You grinned and stood on your toes to give him a kiss. " How fast can you get me home?"

He smirked and grabbed your bottom. Tapping it a little. " C'mon."

He started pulling you towards the exit but stopped as soon as you stepped over the threshold.

"Shit!" He turned around and gave you a pout. "I-I gotta go do something first."

You stared at him and raised a brow.

" I forgot. Chrissy is coming by the trailer."

Raising both brows you took a step back. Then you put your finger on his necklace.

"See, that's why I gave you that. You're so forgetful."

He pulled you back to him. " I'll be quick. Don't worry. She just wanted something stronger. I'll kick her out as soon as she pays me."

You smiled. "Promise?"

He put his forehead on yours. " Promise promise. I'll be there before you know it."

You missed and gave him a kiss on the nose. " Okay."

" Want me to take you home first?"

You shook your head a little. "Nah. I'll catch a ride with Dustin."

He gave you one last kiss before leading you out to the lot.

"When I come over, will you be wearing the thing?" He asked nervously. Like you would actually say no.

"With the hair buns and everything." You answered.

He smiled that smile that made your heart skip.

" I'll be over in a jif."

You waved him goodbye and got that feeling again seeing him drive away.

Something bad was gonna happen.

You fell asleep waiting for him to come. You figured something happened with Wayne. And that he would eventually show up. But in the morning you had a pit in your stomach when you woke up without him.

Something's not right.

...

You got dressed and rode to the Munson's trailer. While you biked you heard something about a murder on your walkman. You turned up the volume.

" We're in Forest Hills trailer park in east Roane county. We don't have a lot of details right now, but we can confirm that the body of a Hawkins High student was discovered early this morning. Police have not yet released the name, although we are told the police are in the process of notifying the family."

You felt that sinking feeling once again. Causing you swerved and lose control of the bike.

You slide on some gravel and fell face first on the ground. Getting road rash on your right arm and leg.

When you got back up, your hands were shaking and you were panicking.

Eddie?

You took a minute to calm down. And though you were in pain, you picked up your bike and rode the rest of the way.

When you pulled into the trailer park, there were cops surrounding Munson's trailer.

No. No.!

You quickly dropped your bike and ran to find Wayne.

You came to a skidded stop when you found him." Mr Munson?!"

Wayne turned to you.

You were trembling so bad. " Is...is it Eddie? Please tell me-"

Wayne grabbed your hand and looked you over. " No. No. It's some cheerleader. I don't know her name. What happened sweetheart? You're bleeding."

" I'm...fine. W-where is he?"

He shook his head. " I don't know. His van is here but it can't find him."

You looked up at him with obvious worry in your eyes.

" They...they think he had something to do with it."

" No! Not him. He-he wouldn't. He would n-never-" You stuttered.

Wayne tightened his grip around your hand. You knew he thought the same thing.

" Sweetheart, he's a good boy. We'll find him. But right now. Let's clean you up."

A police officer approached as soon as Wayne tried to lead you to his truck. " Miss L/n, I have a couple of questions I would like to ask you."

You looked at Wayne and he nodded for you to go ahead.

"Oh-okay." You responded shakily.

The officer asked what your relationship was with Eddie and if you knew anything about what happened last night.

" He's my best friend...No I-I- he was supposed to come over but-but he never showed."

The officer nodded and wrote something in his notepad. He also asked if you knew where he was. You shook your head with tears coming down.

He scribbled again. " If i have anymore questions are you willing to come down to station?"

You nodded.

"Thank you Miss L/n."

Eddie couldn't. He didn't. You thought over and over again.

Wayne wrapped his arms around you and hugged you tightly while you sobbed into his chest.

" Where is he Mr. Munson? What happened?" You whispered.

" Ehem. Y/n?"

You turned your head and saw your friend. "N-nancy?"

You, Nancy and Wayne made your way to a bench. You sat in silence while listening to Wayne explain something about Victor Creel. Nancy listened as she cleaned you up.

You caught some of it but you couldn't keep your attention to the conversation.

You scanned the area. Searching for any sign of your curly headed boyfriend.

Suddenly you felt a hand on your hopping knee.

You looked up and saw nancy staring at you. You could tell she was worried but you couldn't bring yourself to assure her that you were. Because you weren't.

Eddie was out there somewhere. And you were beside yourself not knowing if he was alive or dead.

After a little bit, Wayne drove you home.

You went into your house, wracking your brain.

Where could he be?

Your dad came from the living room. " Honey what's going on? Is Eddie ok?"

" I-I don't know....There was an accident. And he's missing."

He immediately knew you were out of sorts and he came to hug you. " It's okay honey. He's bound to show up."

He tried to comfort you, but it wasn't helping.

All you wanted to do was cry and go searching for him. But you didn't know where to start.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the phone ringing.

Your dad let you go. " I'll get it."

He left you in the foyer for a second before he came right back. " It's for you sweetie."

Eddie?

You ran to the kitchen and picked up the receiver. " Munson?!"

" H-hey Y/n. It's uhh me Dustin...I don't know if you know, but Eddie's-"

" Is he with you?! Where are you guys?"

" N-no. He's not here. But i think I know where he might be. Do you know a guy named Rick?"

" Reefer Rick? Y-yeah."

Eddie gets his pot from him.

" Okay! So we have his address-"

You cut him off. " Where are you?"

" Uhhh at Family Video."

" I'll be right there."

You hung up the phone and ran upstairs to change.

" Honey?" Your dad called after you.

You ignored him and slammed the door in his face.

It probably pissed him off. But you didn't care. Eddie was in trouble. You couldn't just stay there and do nothing.

When you walked out of the room, he was standing there.

" Honey, if something did-"

"Dad. If...if something did happen, which I know in my heart that it didn't. I'm the only one that can find him and bring him home. So please. Please just trust me ok?"

He sighed and gave you a slight nod. " Be careful."

You gave him a quick hug and headed to your friends.

...

A few hours later, you guys pulled up to Rick's place.

Everyone was banging on the windows and calling out for him.

"Guys..." Max called out.

All of you went to her and saw an old boat house.

Your heart immediately started to race. He had to be there. You had to find him.

Everyone slowly went in and searched.

Dustin and Steve were arguing.

Something about an oar. You weren't really paying attention. You were too busy losing your mind.

This whole situation was bizarre and frightening. But it only got worse every second that went by.

" Guys, look." Max said while pointing and candy wrappers and empty beer bottles.

Robin grabbed your hand. "We must've scared him off."

You felt the tears again. Just on the verge of escaping.

Please God...

All of you screamed when Eddie suddenly jumped out from under a tarp.

He pushed Steve into a corner and held a broken bottle to his neck.

Dustin started to scream for him to stop but it was as if he was deafened by rage.

Throughout the commotion, you took a few steps towards him.

You felt eyes on you as you kept getting closer. Then it went quiet. The only thing that could be heard was Steve struggling to breathe.

You called out to him softly. "Eddie?"

He turned his head slightly, with the bottle still pressed against Steve's neck.

As soon as he saw you, he dropped it and Steve. Quickly pushing past everyone to get to you. He was so fast that all you saw was a blur until he got close enough to touch you.

"Y/n!" He whimpered.

He held onto you with his face buried in your neck. You quickly wrapped your arms around him and cried.

He was trembling so hard.

You didn't know what to do or say. So you just squeezed him as tight as you could, for as long as he needed.

But even when you guys finally separated, he didn't let go of your hand.

It was quiet for a while until Dustin came and kneeled in front of Eddie.

" We just want to know what happened. Eddie...Eddie we are with you. Please Eddie. Tell us what happened."

Eddie's rings dug into your skin as he squeezed your hand.

He looked at you. He was so scared and confused.

It was something you had never seen before in those big brown eyes of his.

Whatever happened with Chrissy, he had nothing to do with it. But he saw what happened. And it wasn't good.

You squeezed his hand back. " It's okay, bud."

" Y-you won't believe me." He said.

Max took a few steps towards you guys. " Try us."

Eddie went on to explain what happened with Chrissy.

It sounded like something out of a horror movie. But the way he recounted it. It was like he was reliving it.

Though it sounded like a terrible dream, he believed it. And you believed that he believed it. Even if it resembled a D&D story line.

"So I ran away....I left her there." Eddie whimpered. " Y'all think I'm crazy, right?"

He looked at you and you couldn't say anything. There were no words that came to mind.

The only thing you could process was that he was alive.

"No." Dustin replied.

Robin and Max said that they believe him. Dustin went on to tell you guys about what had been going on in Hawkins for the past 3 years.

You had gotten lost around the time he mentioned another dimension and monsters.

There was also something about a girl with superpowers. But that's when you stopped listening.

It was seriously unbelievable.

You didn't know if what they were saying was true. But you knew Eddie didn't kill Chrissy. So whatever you guys needed to believe. You would believe in wholeheartedly. Because there was nothing that would change your mind about your best friend. You knew him better than anyone else. And you put your faith in him.

After loads of talking and convincing, it got really late.

Everyone got ready to leave except you.

It wasn't a matter of if you were gonna stay with Eddie. It was the worry of what was to come.

...

You and Eddie didn't talk much after that.

He led you into the house.

Not knowing what to do with yourself, you startwd searching for food.

You tried to do your best to put something together for him. But he didn't want to eat.

Exhausted and worried, you sat across from him.

You studied him. His brow was furrowed. His eyes looked tired. He was dirty and he smelled.

All you wanted to do was hold him. But you didn't want to give him a sensory overload.

Still, you needed him to know he wasn't alone anymore. So you reached for his hand, but he pulled away.

Your eyes instantly filled tears. You looked away and blinked them away.

"Umm hey, w-why don't you try and take a shower...umm I'm gonna tidy up a bit. Then I'm gonna find you something clean to wear."

He nodded while not looking at you. He then got up and went.

As soon as the door closed, you broke down. It was all too much to keep in.

You sat there and cried. Wishing that this day was just a nightmare.

Eddie stood in the shower for a long time.

Chrissy's sunken eyes were burned into his eyelids. The sound of cracking bones echoed in his ears.

No matter what he thought, he couldn't get her out of his head.

But the worst part of it was that he ran. That he couldn't help her.

What if it was him? Or worse, you. There was absolutely nothing he could have done. And that thought made him crawl into a fetal position.

You went to the door 45 minutes later. " Munson?"

You knocked but was met with silence.

While letting yourself into the bathroom, you heard whimpers.

Eddie was sitting down on the shower floor with his knees pulled up and his arms wrapped around them. Water was pouring on his head.

" Eddie?"

You could see him shivering and crying.

Without a second thought you rushed to him.

The water was freezing but that didn't matter. Nothing mattered but him.

Your best friend needed you. And you had to be there for him, like the countless times he was there for you.

You sat in front of him. Putting one hand on his knee and one hand on the back of his neck.

He slowly looked at you through the cascade of tears falling from his eyes. That's when he actually saw you.

The whole right side of your face had small cuts and bruises.

He reached up and lightly touched them. He wanted to ask what happened, but the words wouldn't come out.

You held his forearm and pulled him gently towards you. To meet his forehead with yours. He shook his head a little and cried even hard. Making you cry too.

He was hurting so bad. And the only thing you could do was hold him.

" It's ok." You whispered. "I'm here....I got you... I'm right here."

...

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doodlemunster · 3 months

Note

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers ♡

I'm SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME WAY TOO LONG

and thank you to @yesitsloulou because I saw you sent me this too and y'all are so so sweet for it. Seriously. I LOVE YOU GUYS SO FREAKING MUCH

Top 5 things that make me happy, let's goooo (strap in this is a long one)

Friends & Family

I'm putting them together cuz technically friends ARE family to me. More and more do I realize just how stinkin important they are and how much they make my day/month/year.

My friends sending me tiktoks/memes they think I'll love or remind them of me, who love me for me and I can be my goofy self with them

my parents being endlessly supportive and hear me out, who sometimes pick me up coffee or snacks simply because they are thinking of me. My mom, who used to take my brother and I to anime cons and would patiently listen to us rant about our latest obsession and STILL does it till this day even though she has no interest in any of it because she loves us that much. Or my dad who will be a big ol' goof and won't stop till he's cracked a smile out of me.

2. Mutuals

I would put mutuals in the friends and family category, but y'all deserve your own spot because otherwise I'd go on forever lmao (also I see mutuals as friends but I know some people might find that TOO familiar and I'm not trying to weird ya out or nothin)

mutuals who leave tags on reblogs, letting me know their thoughts or little comments to me. Or the reblogs on my art and letting me know if you love it or not?? like 'IM OVER THE MOON'. Know that I'm squeeing and kickin my feet and twirling my hair. All of it. Also, seeing how excited y'all are about a certain show, books, fandom etc Even those posts that are like 'reblog if you would gently headbutt with the person you reblogged this from if y'all were cats'. I love that. I mean it when I say that all of this makes my entiiirrree day. I love it and I love y'all!!

3. My Pets

Seeing their cute little faces gets me through so much. They let me hug and kiss them a whole bunch and it fills me with so much seratonin, holy hell. They have helped me on lonely nights, being little supportive spirits when I'm in my head too much or going through a bad break up. If y'all want some cuteness too, heres a pic of the two of them. I lost my sweet Gir last year and it still gets to me. It's also the anniversary of her passing, but she was an amazing dog.

4. CBD gummies

okay so this is left field and sounds goofy, but I struggle with sleep pretty badly. I'm a night owl through and through, so it makes settling down super hard. My brain just won't shut the fuck up. It's caused my anxiety to spike enough to get medicated for it. However, with these gummies I can FINALLY bank on a good night's sleep and for that I am forever thankful. It also makes me feel so damn good too, so it even calms my anxious nerves. It's made me happy to tears, let me tell ya.

5. Baking

Been finding a lot of happiness in trying new recipes. Some of my favorite nights are getting tipsy/high, baking, and watching horror movies. I've mad pie dough, mini pumpkin pies, brownies, no bakes, caramels, truffles, muffins and god its been such a TREAT. I made my friends and family baked goods and it filled me with so much joy.

Thank you so so much for the sweet ask!! <3 I'm so happy to have y'all as mutuals. Seriously, you make the weeks that much sweeter. I hope you are doing great. Sending you lots of love! ❤️❤️❤️

#<3 <3 <3

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thatonegaybastard · 1 year

Text

Simon playlist!

Hello remember the Reiki playlist? This is the Simon playlist. It's not quite done but here's it so far

Warning for lik. Depressing themes and maybe suicidal themes and potentially overstimulating music also flashing lights and bright and rapidly shifting colors!!!!! And some suggestive and religious themes (more religious themes then sexual) and likem violence and blood

Also one of the dongs might have spoilers for a game called Cell of Empirio I'm not 100% sure so if you're wary of spoilers for that then beware

Songs and my silly commentary on them under the cut

White Happy by Maretu (English cover by Milkychan) - Literally the most Simon song ever also I live this song so much. Idk why I put an English cover of this song but not the other songs in other languages on this playlis. I really like this cover tho so I'll allow it

Chiri Chiro Juso (Dust Dust Curse) by Kikuo - Depressing song about death. I could see this being like from Simons point of view of himself and during his death

HURT by 1800 PAIN (I think) - They do wanna see you hurt. Idk how I feel about this song in general tbh

Montreal by Penelope Scott - Ok this song just makes me depressed about life and not even like in the good way it's a good song but like. Cries.Anyways this fots Simon a lot he won't make it to Montreal guys same

Sweet Hibiscus Tea by Penelope Scott - like most songs here it just fits him pretty well idk I might remove this so g I do t even have much to say

Angel Eyes and Basketball by Foot Ox - Good song I wish it was longer tbh it scartches my brain. We get it Simon is depressed /j

Cradles by Sub Urban - um

The Chattering Lack of Common Sense by GHOST - This song reminds meminds me of Simon and Beau specifically this is just the duo where one is probably murderous song to me. Also this omg is just so good I love it so much <3333 Simon would be the guy in the hoodie with bandages over his eyes his name is arc

IN MY MOUTH by Black Dresses - Why'd idd I add this song. I dobt know.it just fits kind of trust me (I kinda forgot I added this song to the playlist)

there I am, there I am again by RP_A (I think??????? I'm not sure) - This song isn't super specific to Simon actually it mostly just fits the Lore™ its more of a Rosa song tbh

SCAPEG∞AT by GHOST - okay one good so g obviously but also this song is mostly just on the playlist because of the chorus it fits Simon so fucking much like what the fuck- also the ending parts- also unrelated but these guys have deity oc vibes tbh

Dr Gaster by Shadrow - Teehee :) (lore)

I'm Difficult by Talkshow Boy - Making you guys listen to talkshow boy not sorry /j /nf

Abnornality Dancing Girl by Guchiry - Okay this song doesn't exactly for him because of what it's probably about but the chorus fits him alot and so does the ending part. Also I'm making some art of him base don this sign it'll probably be a while until i finish because it's not super high priority but yeah :)

Fry Me In a Pan by Talkshow Boy - You will listen to my favorite Talkshow Bky songs. Might remove this one too tbh

Orthodoxia by Gunchiry - Okay doesn't necessarily fit Simon specifically if anything he'd be one of the religious followers but like. (Then again he also lives off the misfortunes of others) The lore was literally inspired from this sign and also it fuckign slaps I can't NOT include it wtf

Kitchen Fork by Gustavuo Rubio (I think) - Also one of the most Simon songs ever. Something is very wrong with this man

Also I ahvent added this yet but I think it's be funny if I added the happy song that's like "I am really special cuz there sonly one of me look at my smile I'm so damn happy all the people are jealous of me" yknow the ond

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rodolfoparras · 6 months

Note

HIII ALEC!!! Hruuu??? The whole room decor sounds like it’ll come out good, it’s deff a good idea that your going for something minimalistic, cuz going all out is going to give you the 3 am thought of “I wanna change my room, and honestly right now”😭😭 and I don’t think you wanna go through that again.

Seeing 🫀anon talk abt breaking the filter suddenly made me think abt when I broke the filter with o’whoras bot, like I was literally doing something else and suddenly I look down at my phone to see what Miguel said and damnn, that man go straight into it😭😭. The filter has been disappearing recently for me😭😭.

How did I just realize that suddenly have so many anons, like honestly alec you’ve grown so so much and it makes me happy seeing new ppl find your blog each day.

-🐍

Hello sugar!! I’m good!!🫶🏻🫶🏻 how are you friend? Right?? I wanted to paint a sky on my roof but I know in a month or so the amount of color will be super overwhelming but by then it’ll be too late to change it 😭

On character ai or? Damn maybe I don’t use the app enough bc I don’t even try to talk nsfw anymore bc every response is like we cant generate a reply blah blah so now I’m just using it for angsty prompts 😭

Also thank yo so much sugar!! Tbh I’m genuinely in disbelief with how much my acc has grown bc in may? I had 200 ish followers and I had been on that number for months and then summer passed and now I’m almost at 2k?? With so many of you friends here?? I’m very grateful for the support for making me feel that my stories and ideas matter and also for being so kind to me genuinely every day I’m surprised how many of you guys just want to check up on me or send me something sweet so thank you so much genuinely I’m still trying to figure out a good way to thank you all for the support 🥹🫶🏻

#alec answers #🐍 anon

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kart0 · 2 years

Text

meds update: switching back to the previous one

hey guys, today was my psychiatrist appointment and we decided to switch back to my previous meds, that I think it was working way better than the one I was on. I also talked about my OCD and stuff and she prescribed a new med that I will take half a dose, at night right before I go to bed.

next appointment will be in 2 months, and honestly I feel very relieved. I hope I will get better in the next two months, now that I'm back with the first med that made be feel ok.

and I hope this one will make me feel less anxious as well. for depression I will take it in the morning, and for OCD at night. fun !

I'm very tired, today was a hectic day, I got only 4 hours of sleep, and since I woke up I've been feeling super jittery and anxious, with too much energy. and now, at night, I can feel all the adrenaline gone and I'm like, a popped balloon, cuz I am very, very tired.

I will keep updates very spare, maybe only if something changes or whatever, because honestly I'm kinda... lazy, rn

so I don't feel too committed to keep updates like these, I know they're mostly for me but I got a sudden influx of followers here and it kinda bothers me, in a way that, damn, no one cares ? I am grateful of course, but I know most of you follow me for my art, and I keep posting about my meds ? what ? idk idk but like I said before, I do treat my Tumblr like a personal journal.

anyways, that's it for today, I'm gonna go sleep. I'm almost, ALMOST finished with this uni semester and I can't wait to be on my break and be able to draw. hopefully the meds will make me feel happy with my art as well.

thank you for reading, and goodnight.

#me #update #antidepressants

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jodilin65 · 33 years

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THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 1991 I’m so bored and impatient and excited! I want to hurry up and check out that apartment. I hope Peter (the owner), who said his cousin’s undecided, gives the place to me as I know I want it for damn sure. I don’t know if I remembered to write about that before, but I guess his cousin, who’s getting divorced, saw the place and may be interested. I hope not. Yesterday, Kim spoke to Peter who said his cousin was still undecided and needed another day or two. That may be a good sign, though; him being undecided. Hopefully, he’ll go back to his wife and kids or maybe move out of state. Kim, however, seems to think he’s more on our side and would never have bothered to discuss it with us in the first place or have us come see it if I didn’t stand a chance. Let’s hope his cousin’s made up his mind for the better today!

Also, I hope the guy who’s in there now moves out before April 1st. The sooner the better.

All I’ll have to take care of, besides physically moving there will be SS, The bank, fuel assistance, and whatever happens with the police exam I passed. I also need to follow up with my doctor’s appointments as I should have done a long time ago. I’ll need a new asthma doctor and I need to see a GYN for this fucking yeast infection I always seem to have. I also need a dental checkup. I need to call fuel assistance anyway to find out what the hell’s going on with my checks. I really need them and I’m sick of waiting.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 26, 1991 God, that apartment has so many features, that upon reading back a few pages, I realized I forgot one - ceiling fans.

I’ll write more about the apartment later but first, I passed the police officer exam!!! And can you believe I passed with 81%?! I wasn’t too sure about that test for a while and you know how I suck at math. Tammy even said not to be upset if I failed cuz they’re tough tests to pass.

Everyone’s now asking what’s next and I guess what’s next is I just wait. Wait and see what they say and if I move what they say.

So, that night at Kim and Mark’s place, Kim played the piano and I sang and played the piano, too. Kim is an awesome piano player. I would listen to her play songs without looking, then I showed her how I play by ear. She would play songs while I’d sing along. It was a lot of fun, then after a great home-cooked dinner, we went to the Hampshire Mall. At first, I told myself, you can look, but you can’t buy. Then I said to myself, wait a minute. I’m not buying a new stereo yet. I just got into a band that looks promising. I haven’t bought anything but Gloria’s new CD since last August. Fuck this, I’m going shopping!

So I did, and with perfect timing too, as I got a fantastic deal on this beautiful party dress. Or evening dress, as you’d call it. It’s perfect for performing. It was regularly $54 down to $10 and it’s a little big. It’s a 7/9 though I’m a 3/5 but for $10, I’ll make it fit. I’ve got to hem the sleeves and take it in, in the bust area since I’m so small, but it fits fine at the waist. I also bought a red skirt with a wide black belt. It’s the ruffled kind of skirt I like. Also, two pretty journals at a pretty nice price.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 25, 1991 Due to my being up 21½ hours the last time I wrote, I never got to write more of my good news. Yes, believe it or not, I’ve got two fantastic things to write about. If all goes well with both of them, this will be my year for record-breaking luck and happiness and things going my way for once. I deserve it and I have a good feeling as far as both of these things go. Once again, I know I can count on my feelings.

I even called Anna B about my good news and she was happy for me and said she would like to get together with me. I told Jim and Jai about it, too. Steve said, “What did I always tell you about you wanting to be a singer? I told you it would all work out.”

He also told me it was so nice to see me happy. It’s great to finally feel this way. My horoscope was hinting at this the day before Susie told me I was in the band and now it’s hinting about the so-called relationship coming up soon in March. I guess it’s in mid-March. That’s what that psychic astrologer said over the phone. I think maybe Steve can foresee things too, as he said he feels I’ll hit the peak of fame by 1996, and then after that, I’ll meet the “right” woman. I never told Steve that year was the year I felt this would be the year, as well as the psychic astrologer. Also, he always said he felt I’d move before him and I may very well be moving. I’m 80% sure of it and that’s my other good news but I have something to say first as far as my predictions. I’m always either right or very, very close. I always had a feeling I’d get in a band by accident when I least expected it and always felt it may happen at home. I always felt that cuz I’m a homebody 95% of the time, fate would lead it to me at my door and then I’d take it from there. I was right all along on that one, too.

Later…

I took a quick break to talk to Brenda, a bite to eat and a cigarette, but I forgot to mention speaking to Mary D. I called there and said, “What’s up, butch?”

She goes, “Who’s this?”

And I said, “Just cuz it’s been a long time, do you think I’ve forgotten about what happened?” So, I expected her to start screaming at me and cussing me out and threatening me but she was friendly. I know it was sincere too, and not a trap.

She said it was done and over with and she just wanted to be friendly and I said if she wanted to fight, I’d fight her, but if she wanted to be friends, fine. I’ve got to call her back on Tuesday night and I’m simply going to tell her what I wasn’t able to tell her years ago. I’m just not into dykes as lovers. Being friends is one thing, but if they’re gonna be in my bed, they must be feminine.

The night I made prank calls to her while Margaret, her sister, was in the hospital in labor was wrong, and I can see if she came over to yell at me to knock it off, but you don’t try to beat someone up and trash their apartment over shit like that. Therefore, of course, I’m gonna fuck her over. Mary knows I did not hurt her, I simply restrained her but if she’d come back a second time I would have destroyed her. I’d have kicked her ass to Japan.

Ok, now I’m going to get on with my other good news. As I mentioned before, I feel as if I’ve known Kim for years. And her husband, too. I’ve only known her a few months, but if I gave her my keys to take care of Shadow if I was to go away, I know I could trust her.

She knows how desperately I want to move and why I decided not to go to Arizona or Connecticut, and now I have the band, too. So, one day she told me to come see her place which is one out of only two apartments on the top floor of a 3-story office building. She told me the guy could easily ask for $1,000 if he wanted to but cuz of who they are in town, they could have it for $525. Jesus, you’ve got to see this place before you can believe it! And I thought my place was huge and beautiful. My place is a joke. It’s 1200 square feet with a washer and a dryer, Jacuzzi, dishwasher, trash compactor, central AC, burglar alarm, sprinklers, and a microwave that’s better than mine. Everything is so glamorously modern. I don’t mean just plainly modern, it’s beautifully modern. It has skylights, too. Everything’s electric and I assumed the heating bill would be $50 - $100 a month, especially with cathedral ceilings, but she showed me both her electric bill and heating bill and they were both around $23. I know I’d be saving on the monthly charge on the phone bill as they do not offer 3-way or call-waiting and call-forwarding out there in Deerfield.

I called Tammy and told her about it and she seemed interested. I told her everything I just wrote and that Deerfield’s 40 minutes away. It’s like Longmeadow where everyone knows your name, but it doesn’t seem to have that stuck-up attitude like most ritzy towns do.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 1991 I have got the news of my life!!! The news I’ve been waiting for for 25 years! I got in that band with Susie!!! Yes, I really, really did! I feel as if I’m dreaming such a fantastic dream that I can’t wake up from, but this is all real. It’s really happening. The band’s name is ERA and there are 5 people in the band besides me and Susie as the singers. She’s going to be taking me to a recording studio to meet the other band members. When she’s gonna do this, I don’t know. She’s going to call me. They perform 2-3 nights a week starting March 9th and she said I could expect to earn $600 a month on average. That’s $1,221 a month, counting my SS and Bill!

I called everyone about it including Tammy, Mom, Andy, Brenda, Steve, Philip and Martha. Next, I’ve got to tell Jai and Jimmy.

Believe it or not, I’m not done with the good news, so let me now mention that I saw Kim’s apartment. Man, is it huge!

I spent the day with her and her husband Mark who’s a cop in the town of Greenfield. They live in South Deerfield. I felt an unusual, yet immediate comfort with him and felt as if I’d known him for years like with Kim. Many people have told me that they’ve felt as if they’d known me for years, but you know me. I feel as though I can truly say that about someone once in a lifetime. Then again, I also know someone’s character the second I lay eyes on them. Besides psychic vibes, I’ve had a lot of experiences.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 1991 I feel shitty, so I’m not going to write much. I couldn’t fall asleep till almost noon yesterday and I had to get up at 6:00 and then an hour later I went grocery shopping. I have felt very groggy all day. Or night, I should say.

Kim called about a vacancy next door to her. She’s going to talk to the owner, but it’ll no doubt be too expensive.

I’m dead tired so I’m going to bed now.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 19, 1991 Not a whole heck of a lot happened since I woke up last night at 7:00. I spoke to Brenda briefly, watched a movie while taping another, and talked with Steve.

I am totally wiped out of food. I may go shopping this morning. Brenda’s going to take me, I guess.

Bonny says she’s moving on March 1st and Brenda says she’s moving on April 1st. I feel like I’m losing everybody. Andy’s moving, Brenda’s moving, Jimmy’s moving. Before I know it, Steve will be moving and I’ll be left behind with no one. I’ll be damned, though, if I’m going to move into a project. I don’t care if the neighborhood it’s in is better or not.

About singing, yeah well ha, ha. That Susan girl will no doubt, not come through. I don’t think I can count on anything coming up with her. But will I ever be able to count on anything pertaining to music? Sometimes I wonder. I wonder how I can keep surviving. When I’m gonna break down and lose my mind. I have absolutely nothing to look forward to or to live for. If there is truly a God, I can’t even compromise and sacrifice with him. I prayed for him to take away the right woman and a baby if he must, but to please let me have my music. Why was I dumb enough to keep hoping and believing in the first place? I keep telling myself there’s no way and why, but the vision won’t go away. Why? Why, oh why, oh why? What’s left for me now?

I wish Nervous would call me. I really miss him despite his mouth and his attitude. I have not seen Nervous for many, many months. I called him where he works at the Bucket of Suds Laundromat. He still works at Feinstein’s Leather, too. For the last couple of months I’ve called him, be it by myself or with Fran or Andy, he’s hung up instantly on us but this time he spoke to me. I simply told him I was sincere about wanting him to visit me and that any shit I’ve pulled in the past had been cuz of his mouth and his attitude. I never hated Nervous. Just some of his ways. To tell you the truth, I miss that sucker. I think back in my mind to the days when he was in the worst of his obsession with me on Oswego St. and it really was funny. I really had a lot of fun playing with his head and everyone knows he enjoyed it, too. Anyone not enjoying it wouldn’t have stuck around as long as he did.

What made him flee, though, was definitely Andy. He got tired of competing with him and he knew he could never mean to me what Andy does. And you know Andy and I have had our share of problems, too. Another thing is how I finally let him start meeting my girlfriends if you know what I mean. I miss playing “dead phone line” with him and also the crossed call-waiting game. I wish I could make things like they used to be with him for a while and then get rid of him once I started getting really sick of him again. True, there’s only so much I can take of the guy before I want to kill him.

I want to get some more really heated-up fights over the phone with him and Fran so I can tape them. I need more edits of him. The old ones are classics and I’ll always love them and find them funny as all hell, but it’s time for new ones. Nervous never liked his edits. He just never had that kind of a sense of humor even if they were never played for his boss, among other people. But then again maybe he would. It’s not as if he has no sense of humor. Of course, Nervous is not the type to make prank phone calls, other than the calls he made to me. He never said anything, though. It was simply a case of wanting to hear the girl’s voice that he was so obsessed with. See if I’m home, who I’m with, what I might say. But to call people with funny last names, people you hate or just dial random numbers, no way. It just wasn’t in him.

I can say I’m really quite proud of myself to stick with something besides music or music-related projects for so long. I have been keeping journals since 10/27/1987. I was 21 years old. In fact, I think I’m going to go read back to kill time.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 18, 1991 Well, sure enough, but not surprisingly enough, I woke up with a bad attack yesterday. It wasn’t the worst attack, but it wasn’t very fun either. I had too many cigarettes. I didn’t get up till 7:00 cuz I kept waking up a billion times. I fell asleep near 10:00 yesterday morning and if I had been able to sleep straight through I’d have woken up at 5:00. It’s going to be a heck of a while before I fall asleep and I’ve got Bill coming around 6:30 tonight.

I need to psych myself up to quit smoking again. I hate this feeling of having pressure on me and feeling like I can’t take control. These cigarettes have such power over me and I don’t like it. But then again look at all the other powers and controls I’ve had over other things. I don’t mean just psychic powers either. Speaking of psychic powers, it just gets weirder all the time. It’s developing more and more that it’s almost too hard to believe and accept. My nana Bella always told me that if you have a gift, don’t question it, just accept it and use it. I guess she’s right and I have to consider my “bad vibes” as a gift when I remember the fire.

If I ever do run into Mark B, who set that fire, I don’t think he’d want to look in the mirror for quite a while.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 17, 1991 I am now in the ER waiting for Brenda to get her nose checked. It feels good to be here, not needing to be here as a patient for once. I guess Brenda and Bonny were babysitting for Paul and Kathy’s kids and Brenda went to the store and got punched out. Brenda called me from Kathy’s asking me if I would go to the ER with her. Naturally, I said yes since she’s taken me here before, but as I was waiting, Andy came over. Andy and I both figured at first that she went to buy drugs and got robbed or that they just beat her up. According to Brenda, though, she went out to get cigarettes for her and Bonny when a guy came up to her and she rolled down her window. I asked her why she’d roll her window down and she said for all she knew, he could’ve been asking for directions. The guy, however, was insisting that she buy drugs and she refused and his girlfriend punched her in the nose. She also spit all over her window, which I saw and as Brenda was trying to back out her car kept stalling and the girl threw a bottle at her windshield. The windshield wasn’t broken, but you could see that something had spilled out all over it. She insists she wouldn’t lie about that or Gail to me or Bonny and she has mentioned it when she’s done it. Drugs, I mean. Also, I was over earlier and Gail was begging her to get high with her and she kept refusing. Why she associates with people like Gail, I’ll never know. Brenda says, “She’s got problems, you can’t push her away for that.” I said she most certainly could if this girl is only out to hurt her and be a bad influence on her. Gail’s gonna keep on influencing Brenda to get high with Brenda till Brenda dies. Bonny said that and Bonny’s right about that one. When she was on the phone with Gail, I kept yelling in the background for her to go get high with someone else or do it herself. If Brenda’s not gonna be firm enough, then her friends will be. It’s too bad Brenda’s wimpy and has this problem cuz she’s such a good person. Too good a person to have to be going through this kind of shit. She deserves better and she deserves to be better.

Later…

Earlier I was all set to go to bed but now I’m wide awake. I’ve had plenty of cigarettes and I pray I don’t wake up sick.

Earlier I was listening to music when a strange feeling came over me. It was weird as I was remembering the fire we had here a little over a year ago. Then that funny feeling came as I was taking off my headphones I could hear yelling and sirens. At first, I thought it was a drug bust till I looked out my window and saw tons of fire trucks. I also saw tons of smoke coming out of a 4th-floor window. The firemen were on a huge ladder with their hoses. Not surprisingly enough, it’s one of the major crack buildings on Locust St. near the Red Lion Cafe. I just hope no kids or innocent victims were hurt. I don’t think anyone was hurt, though. Also, I don’t think there are any “innocent” people in that building so hopefully, they’ve been evacuated. That’ll make one less crack house on the street.

I’m going to try and get some sleep now. I want to be up by 5:00 or 6:00. That way I’ll have time to wake up, eat and take a shower.

Andy may come over but I told him to call first, and he better cuz at 9:00 I’ll be watching a movie while taping another. Since I can’t tape them both at once, I’ll need to watch one.

Oh, one more thing, Kevin got a subpoena today to appear in court on charges of annoying phone calls. That’s the name this phone is now in. That was Andy’s idea to choose a name from one of the characters of Twin Peaks.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 1991 Brenda is a major crackhead. About 3 or 4 months ago, Bonny and Dave got her hooked on crack by tricking her into it. They, I guess, put it in a bowl without telling her what it was. I assume Brenda figured it was pot. Now Bonny blames Dave for this, but I believe Brenda when she says Bonny knew exactly what Dave was doing. I know Bonny’s type and she’s already proven herself a pathological liar to me, Andy, and other people. Let me also say that ever since I confronted Bonny with her lies and offered her a “try” at beating my ass she’s been a major sweetheart to me. I told her if she wanted to be nice, I’ll be nice and if she wanted to fight, we could do it at her place, my place, the hall, outside or wherever. So, anyway, as I was saying, Brenda smokes pot occasionally and used to smoke coke here and there, but quit two years ago. I know Brenda’s no liar and she knows she has a problem and wants to do something about it, but goddamn it, is that all I ever can get?!?!?! Don’t I deserve better for once? All I can get is dope heads, loud obnoxious mental cases or shy, geeky, wimpy type mental cases. Damn, can’t I get anyone both emotionally and financially stable for once? And when oh when am I gonna get someone I’m really attracted to? I’m 25 years old goddamn it. I want to feel that true sexual spark and overwhelming feeling for once. I’m bored with the so-so-looking ones. I also feel I deserve my ideal type of person with the qualities in them I want. Of course, I’m not asking for Miss Perfect, but can’t I come close for once?

Other than Brenda’s problems which are 10 times worse than mine, she is a good person who’s far from ugly and I know she still has true feelings for me but I’m not stupid either. She always comes over saying, “I miss you and I love you,” when she’s horny. She hardly comes over just to visit and we never do nonsexual things together and we never really talk. She’s too quiet although she has been talking more. She told me she noticed I’m talking less and I’ve changed a lot and I don’t push her away as much, then what did she do earlier? Well, yesterday I mentioned I got my hair trimmed and I went over and said she did a good job and Brenda goes, “Yeah, but I’m not in the mood to talk about your hair.” I told her she’s been talking to me non-stop about the fights she and Bonny have been having for the last month or so and I haven’t pushed her away. Or jumped down her throat and hacked her head off. So, I got up and left and she called me apologizing saying she felt shitty from withdrawal.

I have fully accepted the fact that I’ll never get first best, but damn am I sick of second best! That’s why I’ve been spending so much time alone too, and there’s always way more bad than good when I get involved with someone, and there shouldn’t be. That’s how I know I’m with the wrong person. They say when you meet the right person, you’ll know it, and I believe that. I’ve met them, they’ve just been taken or not interested in me. Again, I either do it right or I don’t do it at all. Better to take care of yourself, than to be taken care of by the wrong person.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 1991 The last week has taken a weird turn but a nice one, I hope. First of all, I’m definitely not going to Phoenix cuz I just can’t see myself selling every single thing I own except for the clothes on my back. A move should be happy, exciting and adventurous in every way. It should be much more secure. Especially as big of a move as that. Not sad, stressful and miserable, too. You know me, I either take my time and do it right or I don’t do it at all.

Russ and I went to see that mediator who was a very obvious butch. Ugly as all hell, but very nice. Very on my side, too. I simply told Russ that if he drops the eviction, I won’t press charges in small claims court. He did. After getting home from that meeting, I made a stop by the apartment Eddie and Jo L used to live in. Before I begin explaining why I stopped there, let me back up a bit. About a month or so ago I met this girl Susan in the laundry room. As we were talking I learned she’s a singer who has sung quite a bit in Springfield and also New York. I told her I sang and that was my goal and she asked me to stop by but I was on my negative “I give up” streak due to all the shit I’ve been through.

It’s going to be so hard losing Andy despite the differences we’ve had in the past. We love each other to death and always will even though I’ve had many a desire to mutilate him here and there. I hope, however, he goes to Phoenix, discovers it’s all he’s wanted it to be and I can save money and join him someday.

So, as far as Sue goes, I finally said, what the fuck? If I don’t gain I have nothing to lose. I stopped by, left my number with her roommate Jen and she called me when she got in and came up. We harmonized together and it sounded great. She had a cold and I felt I sang a little better but she’s still good and probably much better with no cold. She sings pretty much all over, but usually not in the winter. She has a band and all that and performs 3 times a month. 3 weekends a month, I mean. I asked her how much she usually made a month and she said $1600. I don’t think she meant the whole band, either. That was just her money. She said she did an anniversary and made $200 and that was just in 3 hours. Hey, I don’t care if it’s the shittiest pay as long as it’s singing and not doing nothing or doing something I hate.

Kathy, Bonny’s sister-in-law, trimmed my hair today. She did a great job. She also did a great job on Bonny’s hair and on her daughter’s hair. Kathy trimmed my bangs and trimmed half an inch, straight across the bottom. God, have I got split ends, though! Oh, I’d say 8 out of every 10 hairs are split. That doesn’t necessarily mean only once either. I have some that are split up to 6 or 7 times.

By the 23rd of this month, it’ll be 120 days since the police exam I took so I guess I’ll be notified soon. I always knew I’d make a good cop but I also figured that at the same time, it wasn’t meant to be. Not now, for sure as there’s going to be a default warrant out for me cuz of Jenny’s shit on March 6th. Like I said before, Jenny got all she deserved and I’m not giving her the satisfaction of coming to court. Andy says the cops I know will take care of the warrant. I thought about that, but I can’t count on that.

Most of all, I very well may have flunked that test. You know my math sucks.

I spoke to Jai and Jenny. Jenny’s now living with Jai on Mattoon St. I hope they like it still, but I know Jai hates the landlord.

I left a message for Debbie at PCS to call me. I spoke to her a few days ago and I told her my “feelings” said she was gay, and she is. She’s now on break.

Later…

Andy came over stoned out of his mind but in a good mood. Tomorrow’s Andy’s b-day. He’s gonna be 29. I gave him a card and a bag of hard candy. He’s leaving next month and he’s still saying how much he wants me to come with him. Of course, I wish I could go too, but I just can’t sell everything. Also, even though Jimmy offered to store my stuff in the new house he’s buying, he’s still not sure he’s getting the house and when. He may not get it for several more months.

I thought of calling Philip about storing my stuff but never bothered figuring he’d say no.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 1991 Well, I was right about the snow date I predicted right after the big snowstorm last December 28th. The vibe was really weak, though, probably cuz it only snowed 10 minutes yesterday, February 11th.

Andy’s going to Phoenix at the beginning of next month and I doubt I’ll be going, too. My sister and my parents refuse to help me. You know how Ma is. It’s either her way or no way.

Jimmy’s buying a house and he’s offered to store my stuff there, which is nice, but then how am I going to get it cross-country? It’ll take me quite a while to save the money to ship it across. I’d rent a furnished apartment but Andy wouldn’t get an apartment till he gets a job. He doesn’t have guaranteed money like I do from disability (he’s taking the money his folks gave him and he’s going to stay with friends he knows that used to live here, till he gets on his feet). The other alternative would be to sell all my stuff and I really don’t want to do that. The last alternative is to wait and save the money to move out by shipping my stuff and by me flying out but that would cost a pretty penny. I’d have to work part-time for several months like Tammy said. If I do get out there, I’ll work part-time hopefully in a restaurant with Andy. Perhaps I could call Philip, but I seriously doubt he’d help me. I want to go to Phoenix not only for my music, but I need a change. It’s cheaper to live there and it’s warmer but there’s no humidity. Also, it’s great for asthma and allergies and all the apartments have pools and air conditioning.

Tomorrow I am going to see a mediator with Russ about our so-called heating problem that he’s dying to resolve. I told him I know he’s sincere, and he is, but I’m going to tell it like it is. I have to meet him there at 4:00. Brenda’s taking me.

I feel bad for Brenda cuz I know she’ll miss me if I move and that she still loves me. I’ll miss her too, of course, and I love her still, but not like she does. She’s a very honest and sincere person, but I’m not overwhelmed by her looks and she’s not quite my type as great as she is. But of course you know there was something there or I’d never have slept with her in the first place. I’d have only been her friend. She’s far from ugly or a bad person, but that’s the way it always is. They’re either way more into me, or I’m way more into them.

Bonny has been a major sweetheart for a long time now. Ever since I confronted her about her lies and offered for her to “try” and kick my ass.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 1991 As usual, I have another horrible cold where I just can’t stop fucking sneezing or blowing my nose.

I really want to perform tonight, believe it or not, but I still don’t feel too good. I woke up at 11:00 this morning with a bad attack that lasted till 5:00 this afternoon. I put my humidifier on, took some Sudafed and drank two cups of tea.

Andy will be over later so I can record his Dark Shadows show, and so we can call Tammy. I’ll write more about what we’re gonna talk to Tammy about later. Right now I have to go pee and make some more tea.

What I had was bad withdrawal too, since I had not smoked for 18 hours.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 5, 1991 I feel like my whole life’s come to an end. In a month Andy’s moving to Phoenix and the only place my mother will move me to is Connecticut. Here I watch my best friend go and follow his dream, while mine gets further and further away. Maybe what I swore was meant to be for 25 years is only a dream I’ll dream and never do. But if it isn’t really meant to be then why is the vision still so damn clear? It gets clearer and clearer all the time. My voice gets better and better but it’s like a tease if I can never use it the way I want to. I never said I wouldn’t work for the music but if I’m never going to be in the right place, then what’s the point?

My mother’s so hung up on controlling me and having me where she wants me to be and doing what she wants me to do. Hey, it’s better than Valleyhead, right? And if anyone’s used to having to settle for second best, it’s me. Some people get everything they want. Some people get some of the things they want. Some people get none of the things they want.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 1991 I called and talked one on one with a psychic and you know I believe in them after the “strange” things I’ve done. I’ll write more about what I’ve done another time. Meanwhile, this woman told me everything I’ve always felt. Here goes:

You will try to quit smoking again and fail and you may feel bummed out, but don’t cuz in 6 months you won’t be smoking anymore.

If you ever have a baby, you won’t be a young mother, you may be between 33-35.

Fame will come in 7 years, and when I’m just starting to make it in 1994 or so, I’ll meet Linda. Maybe not Gloria for a while as she’s skittish about meeting new people.

I may live in L.A. for a while, then maybe have a huge home in Santa Barbara.

Be prepared for a potential break-in, in March of 1993. I won’t be living here at the time.

This March I’ll meet a woman with very long dark hair 5’ 2”-5’ 4” and see her on and off for 6 months. The problem will be me as I’ll be unsure, as usual, or thinking, “This woman is too good to be true.”

I’ll meet another woman at the end of this year or very beginning of next who has light to medium brown hair just below her shoulders. She’ll be 5’ 6” and we’ll have more in common, although she won’t be as well off financially.

To me, it sounds like another Kacey followed by another Brenda.

0 notes

perpetually-sad-but-its-fine · 1 year

Text

10x15 of chicago pd

already loving this

kev stopping along the way to (kinda) flirt with those girls?

i wish that were me

‘ive been told that jordan is a more legit teacher than i am’

‘that he is’

domestic daughter!makayla and father!adam with uncle!kevin and cousin!jordan????

loving it

AHHHH

MAKAYALA

SHES SO CUTE

‘appointment’

THERAPYYYY

YAYYYYYY

KIMS GETTING THE HELP SHE NEEDS

adam and kevin are great father figures

‘hopped off of candy and chaos’

we love that for her

UNCLE KEVIN

ITS CANON

OH MY GOD

YES

oh lovely

now comes crime

‘bodies?’ *deep sigh*

great

this'll be fun

oh joy

all dead

yay

so fun

*kicks open the door with zero hesitation*

yay

poisoned?

oh meth

yay

droogz

fun

HAILEYYYY

TORRESSSSSS

god i love them

samantha beck???

oh joy

lovely

poor family

yay

a drug ring

fun

yay

surveillance

i love the voiceovers

so much

they're so cool

thE COMBINED VOICEOVERS OF EVERYBODY

OH I LOVE IT SO MUCH

ITS SO COOL

oh no adam

dont do something to get yourself killed

oh joy

fake mugging

and now guns

oop who were they

oh damn

bro

this is giving me so much anxiety

hes using his real name????

bro why

whatever happened to jim

or ryan

what were his UC names again??

oh lovely

adam

careful

this is scaring me

adAMMMM

CAREFULLLL

PLEASE

oh lovely kid

cute

love how adam bonds with kids

its adorable

UGH

ADAM

CAREEFULLLLLL

bro this is so fuckung scaryyy

‘you won't get to leave’

brO

THIS SOME SORT OF CULT OR SOMETHING???

god

now i want samantha to be careful

cuz the way that this is gonna go

shes prolly gonna get killed

‘will this make you happy’

???

what does he mean by that

oh joy

are the gonna kill someone????

oH SHIT

WAIT

ARE THEY GONNA KILL THEM???

im scared

jesus

a knife

oh god

GOD

WAIT

IS THAT GUY JUST GONNA STAND OVER THER AND WATCH?????

WHAT

DONT

DO NOT MOVE

DO NOT

oh thank god

that the lord

brO

YOU WERE JUST WATCHINGGGGG

SERIOUSLY??

dude’s unbothered

‘dude are you okay?’

he just got beat up

but im curious to know what's happening between samantha and her dad

awww

kim checking up on adam???

i love it

my babies

please

let them be happy

is there flirting???

is thiS FLIRTING???

heart??

why heart???

oh for her son

bro

whats happening

oH SHIT

OH MY GOD

HES USING HIS GRANDSON FOR MOVING DRUGS???

adam standing there like an npc

love to see it

oh hes gonna follow her

adam

careful

please

careful

dont do something stupid

dont get yourself killed

istfg adam

please

oH MY GOD

I FUCKING KNEW IT

what did he say to her?????

WHY DID SHE JUST WALK OFFF

ADAM

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING

JESUS FUCKIN CHRIST

WHAT IS THIS

‘neo-nazi’

fun

waIT WHAT

HITLER YOUTH KNIFE????

what the fuck

what is happening??

oh white supremacist

joy

lovely

ugh

gross

oh god

this convo

sO MUCH

ANGST

wait

stop

hurt

feels

‘our daughter’

FUCK YOU

STOP HURTING ME

ITS SO SWEET

AND I LOVE IT

BUT THERES ALSO SO MUCH PAIN

I WANT MACKAYLA CALLING ADAM DAD

AWWW

‘you were not supposed to catch me’

awwwwwwww

‘do you want me to get you ice?’

EEEKKK

LET HER CALL HIM DAD

‘no i want you to go to sleep’

such a dad response

AWWWW

stopp

i love them

thE HAND HOLDING

HE KISSED HER HAND

HE KISSED HIS DAUGHTER’S HAND

‘what the hell is he doing?’

that's a good question kev

nobody knows

WHY WOULD YOU SAY MACKAYLA’S NAME

WHY WOULD YOU DO THZT???

WHAT IF SHE FiNDS OUT WHO YOU ARE???

adam

careful

pleaseeeeee

dont do something stupid

hES GONNA DO SOEMTHING STUPID

oh samantha beck’s dad

lovely

i dont like him

at all

‘i dont like this’

you and me both kim

you and me both

stop being a pessimist kim

you have valid concerns

but still

dont voice them

oh a shooting range

joy

what is this??

is this like shovel talk

to the next level???

yea

shovel talk

great

oh lovely tattoo

this is disgusting

like a whole ‘nother level

oh gross

dont like this

dont like this AT ALL

killer aim

lovely

hes a sociopath

adam always wearing two hoodie

why

interesting fashion choice

why do i feel like this is a setup

this is a set up

i can feel it

oh my god

callum’s been taken

this is a fuckin set up

i can feel it

adam

shes gonna make you

please

be careful

torres

dont do something stupid

oh my god wait

jesus wait

its not a set up???

wait

adam

careful

what the fuck is happening

meth lab??

in her basement??

wait something else??

is callum there??

OH MY GOD

what's he doing down there???

whA T IS HA P P EN I N G

SOMEONE TELL MEE

WHAT THE FUCK IS THISSSSSSSS

wha t is t h is??

good god

this is so much

too much

this is so depressing

god i feel like samantha’s gonna fall for adam or some shit like that

does the team know that youre here adam??

do. THEY. KNOW???

god

samantha

stop

with those bedroom eyes

am i reading into it???

wait

this is so much bigger than i thought

the end???

what??

what's happening

what did she mean by the end

dont

dont end the episode

GOD FUCKIN DAMMIT

#*kissy kissy* watches chicago pd

0 notes

the-firebird69 · 2 years

Text

I said mentioned he was just paid social security also we say it's barely not to keep someone alive and he's making more than most I don't think this is right what they're doing to people at all and they're forcing it forcing people into poverty and they're doing it by surreptitious means these people here and we must begin to attack them now the poverty is all over Earth we have to provide solutions immediately we took over the banks and we have to start doing our job. Going to follow our plan and aid and assist our people are going to do it immediately I don't have any more time for this is an ugly situation and it's causing the people here our son has been right the whole time we're not paying attention to what they're doing and I know why I hear him complain there's a few reasons why don't we just says the setting code out it's kind of a precarious position to be independent what code they're sending but what they're sending out all the time is poverty so I want to blow ours out of the water and say let's listen to this for a day and we have in the past but just listen to what goes through his mind these people are a nightmare they're so damn cheap and the owe him tons of money. The responses to what he says that they owe him money a ridiculous too they incriminate themselves and they said they're smiling they're open lawsuits on them and they don't seem to care and he says let's go for the gold here soon here for a companies they own. I agree we're going to believe his clones and take everything from these idiots. They're trying to set us up against the clones now they are and they keep talking about it. Out loud in my face but not that i want them to, our son admits, but really he's got them talking and they won't shut up and a bunch of spoiled children now and rotten children too. His ideas are good these are the people who run those companies even a portion of it they started it and didn't pay and they won't pay the money and they are in the way see them directly the chairman and the board and the CEO, and really there are no big shots anymore you don't have the power they had cuz he gave up most of the manufacturing and distribution but they have left is practically nothing and we can override whatever they want as a matter of fact we already have many times we just tell him to go screw they send you guys we kill them all it's a matter of fact we've killed off a few boards too couldn't stand them anymore it works that way but really we're tired of hearing from you you're an idiots and losers you're complaining your fighting with clones and you should never talk about it and you did so we're going to attack you I'm putting that out there that's son great job glad you all to it you guys follow it gladly. Your money you see you owe him but that's not why he did it it did it because we look like the clothes and you're heading towards the NeverEnding story that you wanted you pile of shit.

I'm opening some major lawsuits here today since you scoffed at me and mocked me and choked about me yesterday I'm opening lawsuits against you people and it is for unlawful detention and it also is for the proceeds that are due to him because we took over the major shares of your companies you can't screw around with them now most of your people are dead and if you're not you're trying to screw around them they will be as fun as you probably kill off your own people a lot it's rigged up that way dumbasses. We open the lawsuits today so you can galk at them and poke fun and lose.

Bitol and Goddess Wife

We finally walking around saying you're not supposed to be fighting the clothes to be hilarious cuz we planned it and we've been mimicking them the whole time and you haven't checked cuz you're so happy with your idea

Thor Freya

There's a huge idea going around have him do the work for something and they don't want to because they fail so many times whenever they try they don't want to have any job because they say that works it's cheesy witchcraft and it didn't work at all and they did it because of these morlock he wanted them to fight the clones instead of us but really is a morlock ended up fighting the clones but they know that it's go talk to him about it they'll tell you

Zues Hera

0 notes

gb-patch · 3 years

Text

Ask Answers: August 8th

Well, doing big posts all together worked for a while but lately I’ve been putting it off because it takes a long time to get them done. I think I’m gonna try switching back to answering asks whenever I can fit it in and posting them one at a time instead of waiting until I’ve filled out one of these major collections.

But for now, here’s more ask answers! Thank you for the questions and for all the kind words along with them ^^.

Hello!! I'm here to ask if its possible to get the game and its dlcs on steam and play it on android?

I’m afraid not. Steam doesn’t have Android builds on their own site and Steam is not cool with keys for other sites being given out for Steam purchases, so you don’t get the Itch version from buying on Steam.

Hello! Sorry to bother you but, I had a question, if we buy the Game on itchio do we get steam keys or would we need to purchase it twice?

You would have to buy it twice if you want it in both places, I’m sorry. To repeat myself a little, Steam doesn’t like the key trading thing. Itch may support giving keys for another site, but the reverse isn’t doable with Steam and Steam doesn’t even really want you to get a Steam key for buying somewhere else either. So we just don’t mess around with that.

hey, sorry if this is frequently asked, but is step 4 free dlc or paid for? some of your sources are contradicting each other.

It’s free! There’s a paid wedding DLC, but Step 4 itself is entirely unpaid.

Hello! I just had a quick question, for the Baxter and Derek DLC's will we be able to confess our feelings to them or let them confess to MC? or will it only be one way? (they confess to MC)

Both type of options will be available!

Hey there! I wanted to ask whether or not the Derek DLC is still on track to be released in August since on the steam discussion board it says it will be released mid 2021. I totally understand if it isn't, I'm just really looking forward to it! If you answer then ty! And keep up the amazing work :D

It’s not, aha. Unfortunately, 2021 wasn’t easier than 2020 as we hoped so things are still slower than planned. It’ll come out late 2021 or early 2022.

Hi! Firstly I just want to say that I LOVE Our Life. I have played a bit of similar games but this one instantly wins for the best one! Everything about it is amazing! I just wanted to ask if Derek would ever lose feelings for MC, like if they make the deal and then MC gets with Cove would he move on? and even if you don't, after "losing contact" would his feeling fade or would he still like MC?

If you don’t really keep in touch with him and clearly move on with your life, Derek will too and he’ll be over it. But if you are still close as best as you can be, he’ll still think the MC is special. Though, he’ll always support your relationship with someone else if that’s what’ll make you happy.

Hello! Sorry if you've answered this before but: 'How's Lee related to us? Though which momma? And does she share our player-chosen last names? Also, do you know if Noelani took Pam's last name or did it happen the other way round?

She’s related to Pamela and Pamela’s last name is the one they use, so the MC has the same last name as Lee.

Will we be able to choose which (they or he) we tend to call Qiu by more often, or will it randomly change depending on the moment?

Qiu knows which pronoun they’re comfortable with at a time and you’ll call them what they’re happy with. And it doesn’t change between lines, it takes multiple scenes or even full Steps for it to switch. So for extended periods Qiu will be totally a guy or fully agender.

Will Step 4 of OL2 have moments?

It’ll be an epilogue like it is in OL1, so it won’t have a bunch of different Moments.

Hello! Just a quick question, is Sunset bird from OL1 based on a real location? If so what's it called? I wanna visit it +_+

ps i love your games so much <3

It isn’t based on one specific town you can go to, but there are a lot of little coastal towns in Cali that have a similar vibe!

Heyaaa ( I hope you're all well ), umm… it might seem kinda stupid to ask but did Patreon members can have a key for the dlc's ( all the steps-released dlc ) even if they became a member this month or later ? (me? saying this cuz it's my case? maybe ;-;), and once again thanks for absolutely all the amazing works on all the games ! u-u

You wouldn’t get the DLCs for backing there. The Patreon is for extra bonus content/early access, rather than being a storefront to purchase the normal DLCs. Rarely we give them out as a side gift, but it hardly happens and if what you want is the DLCs it’s best to ignore the Patreon and buy keys for those directly from Itch or Steam. I’m sorry for the confusion.

Hey y'all, love what youre doing w/Terry. Trans rep outside of player customization is so rare and important to see more of so thank you so much. I do have a question and its that does he have a canon sexuality? I know Miranda was said to be straight ace but I dont believe anything was stated for Terry probably because he wasnt revealed to be a guy which changes things. Im also curious if well get answers on how long hes liked Miranda since he may have liked her in step 3 before she liked him

Terry likes women and Randy likes men! And he did like Miranda back in Step 3.

Will the Wedding Dlc release at the same time as Step 4?

They’ll come out separately with Step 4 releasing first.

I really love Our Life so much! I've spent over 20hours playing it even though I only got it a week ago! I was wondering if I could make a fangame for Our Life with a different love interest but same plot. Next-door neighbors romance, multiple steps, etc? I'll probably make it on Google Slides though-

Sure! I hope you have fun with it and I’m glad you love the game.

How does Cove feel about poly relationships?

He’s got nothing against them for the people they work for, but he’s 100% monogamous and would only be comfortable with a partner who was willing to be monogamous with him.

Idk if this has been answered before but will Step 4 include the option to advance your feelings towards Cove?

Yep, you’ll be able to determine your feelings and what your relationship is.

In step 4 will there be a chosen to say we live with Cove even as just friends?

Yeah, you can choose to live with Cove and that can be done when you’re friends.

I just played the game with the MC and Cove being best friends and omg it’s still so damn cute like the wholesomeness of it all is too much for my heart I swear ^.^ Now with that all said I was wondering can we still marry Cove? if we only love him as a friend like let’s say we’ve made deal with him similar to the one we can make with Derek because let’s real no one could compete with what the MC and Cove have even if they aren’t in love.

It’s great to hear you enjoyed the friendship story! You can live with Cove, but you can’t marry him platonically. Cove has familial affection for the MC if they’re best-est friends. He wouldn’t think to marry someone he loves like family and even grew up with as though they truly were siblings.

Are you still going to be making a DLC for XOBD? :]

Yes! We’re slowing adding voiced lines and fixing errors.

It makes me laugh that Shiloh's last name is Fields because that's what I put as my last name! So in Our Life when he talked about "Ms. Fields" picking him up I was extremely confused, lol. That dude mimics personalities so much that he stole my surname!

Oh, wow, that’s a very funny coincidence, haha.

hi !! i cant seem to be able to get the scene where mc is able to propose to cove despite being at the 'love' stage and telling him i'd want to get married, are there any other details that im missing out on? the options just dont appear at the end...

Maybe you missed telling Cove you were in love with him even if you mentioned wanting to get married or you might’ve accidentally said earlier in the game that you don’t want to progress your relationship further with Cove. We haven’t removed them, so you can get the scene again. It’s just kind of easy to miss since there’s multiple requirements. You can read a little guide in the FAQ.

wait what di you need to do to be able to propose to cove? I've been trying but haven't had much luck

You can check out the FAQ linked above!

does cove only develop a crush on the mc if the mc is also at crush/in love with him?

Technically, yes. We treat the non-romantic relationship options as truly non-romantic since we don’t want to bait and switch people. But there’s nothing wrong with headcanoning that Cove does have feelings developing for the MC even before the MC has.

Is there a way to make/allow Lee and Baxter to date?

No, they just don’t have enough time together.

We also got a group of asks related to Tamarack in OL2, but I’m afraid the way they talked about people with larger bodies made me not want to post their words, even if the person didn’t say they’re trying to be hurtful. I will separate out the core question and answer it though, so people can know that info.

Does Tamarack lose weight in later Steps?

No, she doesn’t. As for the other questions included, to be honest, I don’t have to explain/defend having romance options of different sizes. I’m sorry if you’re dealing with unhappiness that’s connected to body image, if that’s where the negative emotions are coming from, but even so I can’t meet you on that level and pretend it’s a problem that needs an answer. A girl who simply isn’t thin being a main love interest is just not an unreasonable concept. Also, Tamarack isn’t a lesbian. Yes, she can date a female MC, but that doesn’t undo her actual sexuality, so I’m not sure where that one part at the end was coming from.

I wonder... can we "fight" with Qiu over leader status? 👀

Not really, haha. No matter how cool your MC is, they’re never gonna replace Qiu for the other kids around. So you can either partner up with him, follow him too, or not be a part of all that group politics stuff.

So when I play the game, sometimes I mentally call Cove “Covie/Covey” and that made me wonder, how does Cove feel about being nicknamed? Not like Romeo/Space Cadet/etc. but like pet names relating to his actual name

It’d depend on his age, personality, and your relationship with him! When he’s younger he’d probably be embarrassed, when he was grown he’d probably be more casual or happy about it.

will you be able to date baxter in step 3 while at crush with cove (but not dating him ofc) sorry if this has been asked already. i really love baxters step 4 design btw!!

Yeah, you can be crushing on Cove and date Baxter if you weren’t already dating Cove. You just can’t be truly in love with Cove and then switch to Baxter.

I just got my friend into our life, and they adore shiloh and derek sooo will there be more of them in the second game?

I’m afraid not. But you can see plenty more of Shiloh in XOXO Droplets/XOXO Blood Droplets, haha.

I see you haven't gotten any xoxo droplets asks recently but I'm still obsessed with these boys!! I was just wondering if Nate would curse under any circumstance?

Yeah, Nate does use certain swear words (damn, hell, bastard) on very rare occasions.

Hi there! I have a question about the wedding dlc. Will we be able to plan a honeymoon during the planning stages of it or would it be something that Cove and the mc would rather plan later on? Thank you! Absolutly love the game by the way, definitely one of my favorite games!

The focus will be on the wedding day itself. The topic of the honeymoon might come up a bit, but there won’t be any choosing of the exact location and such.

Hi! I have two questions and it's completely understandable if you only answer one/neither and I'm sorry if you've already answered either before! First, is there a set year in which OL:B&A takes place (ex: Step 1 being set in 2010 & Step 2 being set in 2016, etc.) or is it simply up to interpretation? Second, have you guys thought about doing a coming-of-age game where the MC has a tough home life or upbringing? (like one of their parents is an addict, a parent being transphobic whilst the player has the option to be trans, or having friends that are influencing them to do drugs, etc.) That's all! Thanks for making beautiful games. <3

There is a set timeline!

Step 1: 2006 Step 2: 2011 Step 3: 2016 Step 4: 2021

And we don’t currently plan on making a game like that. The Our Life series exists to be a safer environment for people to play around in and if we did do a brand new series that was harsher edged it’d be something more fantastical and/or plot-driven instead of a different type of modern day slice-of-life growing up story. I’m sorry.

i don’t know if you’ve already answered this, but do you have a guess on when phase 4 will come out? as well as ol2? i’m so excited for both of them, the inclusivity in this game is amazing, you guys should be really proud of it!

Step 4 will be coming out very soon! OL2 is gonna take until 2023 to be anywhere near completion. But we might episodically release the Steps one at a time as they get done instead of waiting for three to be finished before launch like we did with the first game.

Hello, I was curious if there was an official or unofficial discord server for the game?

We do have a discord! You can join by clicking this link HERE.

how long do you plan to keep ol's patreon running?

Hopefully for at least a few more years.

Are you considering ever making merch?

Yeah, but I don’t know when it’ll happen or what exactly we’ll make, aha. It’s something we want do, just nothing is set.

hi! i just found out about your game a couple of days ago on tiktok (so sorry if you’ve already answered this question) and i was wondering if y’all are ever planning to release it on iOS?

I have no idea. It’s hard for a small group to get Apple approval and I honestly can’t say if it’ll ever happen or not. Maybe someday, though!

Hi, I love the art style of Our life and I would like to know if the artist has a Twitter? Also, could it be possible to fund more CGs for the game from him/her? So many times, I wish there was one like when the cutscene of the sunshower.

That’s nice of you to offer. He doesn’t have a Twitter, at least not one that’s public enough to be shared with me. And I’m afraid not. The issue is that the CGs take huge amounts of time rather than there not being a budget for it. He’s gotta make CGs for Step 4, the DLCs, and new character sprites, too. There isn’t space in the schedule for even more. Sorry for that.

Hi, how are you?!

Are you planning on accepting new writers or is it always the same people who write your stories??

Thanks!!

Our Life: Beginnings & Always won’t be getting new writers, but we will be hiring a new team of writers for Our Life: Now & Forever eventually!

perhaps this counts as nsfw and I'm sure it has been answered before but what does Cove prefer, chests/boobs or butts? or perhaps both :3c thank you for this wonderful game (and the patreon bonus moment, it was worth all the waiting and more ♥)

He’s a “chests of all shapes and sizes” kind of guy, haha.

i was wondering- did any of the writers actually grow up by the beach? as someone who's lived in a beach town all their life it really did feel nostalgic to play through our life 1

I was born and raised in Cali! Though, not right by the beach. We still had to make trips out, but the setting is based on my own childhood memories of small beach towns we went through.

In Derek’s upcoming DLC, will we be able to reference the pact we made as teens? (love olba and xod/xobd so much btw you’re literally amazing)

Yep, you will be able to talk about that!

Oh, sorry about the Cole being secretly L ask, then!

If you wanted context: Death Note is about this one guy who finds a notebook that kills anyone who you write the name of in there. The guy eventually develops a God Complex and starts mass killing criminals and stuff. L is the one trying to find out who is killing all these people.

Me and my sister first joked about it because I couldn't remember how to translate a word about the way Cove was sitting, so I just did the pose, and it looked a lot like how L himself sits! Then we just snowballed from there, with more and more nonsense connections.

That’s okay! Thanks for explaining. I’m sorry I didn’t know what you meant.

#our life #ask #gb patch #gb patch games

171 notes · View notes

calpalirwin · 3 years

Text

Permanent Vacation

Summary: Calum falls for a musician.

A/N: I just really wanted an excuse to use Arrows in Action newest releases in a fic. (They’re bangers. You should go give ‘em a listen.)

Word Count: 2.8k

And away, and away we go!

The sun was hot as it beat down on my neck, the line for the beerstand long, and the noises of people chatting excitedly were loud in my ears. But I didn’t care in the slightest. After the isolating shitshow that was quarantine, I was more than happy to be out at a festival with, wait for it, live fuckin’ music. The only way I could be happier was if my band was in the lineup, but this was still a pretty close second. To be surrounded by musicians and people who loved music was a breath of fresh air after so long. A breath of very hot fresh air. But still.

Behind me I heard the girlish giggling and whispers of my name, which drew the attention of the group in front of me: three guys, and a girl around my own age, two of the guys a good shoulder and head taller than the other man and girl. The shortest of the guys whispered, “Could you imagine if we got noticed like that?”

The tall brunette’s eyes went wide as he pulled a face and shook his head. “No, thanks. I think I’d cry.”

The other tall one with purple hair laughed loudly, “Aw, c’mon, that would be rad! His band’s not even in the lineup and he still gets recognized. Could you imagine?”

“He has a name, and can hear you, J,” the girl hissed with a playful eye roll. Then, she flashed me a smile before calling out in a loud voice, “Hey, man! Good to see ya! How ya been?” to me, before taking a step forward and stretching up to wrap her arm around my shoulders like we were old friends. “Just go with it,” she added under her breath. “Nobody’ll bug you for pictures and autographs if you’re with a bigger group.”

“Thanks,” I laughed at her rescue attempt. “But it’s fine if they do. I don’t mind.”

“Yeah, but they can at least let you buy a fuckin’ beer first.”

“Well, thanks again,” I said, not sure of what else to say, or do so I let her pull me up with her friends who were all staring at her with I’m sure the same look of soft shock I had on my own face.

“I’m Y/N, by the way.” She let go of me as she started introducing her friends to me. “And this is Jesse.”

“Hello,” the tall one with purple hair smiled warmly.

“That’s Matt,” she nudged the other tall one.

“Hey.”

“And this is Vic,” she finished, looking at the shortest man who waved.

“Nice to meet you guys. I’m Calum,” I said, then realized how stupid that was. “But, you already knew that, huh?”

Y/N grinned, holding her thumb and index finger close together. “Just a smidge. But it’s cool. So, any bands you’re particularly excited to see?”

“The Maine and All Time Low mostly. I’m a huge fan of The Maine, and All Time Low are friends of mine.”

“Both are great bands. And the All Time Low guys are good friends to have, for sure.”

“Oh, you know them?”

“Yeah, we worked with them a few times.”

“Worked with? Fellow musicians, huh?”

She laughed. “We’re up and comers, yeah.”

“Your cool aunt’s favorite band,” Jesse grinned at me.

Y/N laughed more at the confused look that crossed my face. “That’s one of his favorite ways to refer to us. Like we’re the band you find out from word of mouth from the cool relative that’s always discovering new music.”

“Ah,” I said, nodding in understanding. “Been there. Are you guys in the lineup?”

“Yup!” she chirped happily as we got to the front of the line. “5 beers, please,” she told the person working the counter.

“Oh, you don’t have to,” I tried to decline, reaching quickly for my wallet.

“Relax, it’s just a beer,” she told me, passing me one of the cups being placed on the counter.

“Well, thanks,” I said, raising the cup and taking a sip. “I’ll getcha guys next time.”

“I’ll hold you to it,” she grinned around the rim of her own cup. “Enjoy your beer, Cal. See ya around.”

~~~

I took the last swallow from my beer, cursing myself for not having stopped her to get the name of her band, or at the very least her last name. But before I had a chance to get the words out, I’d been bombarded with requests from fans for pictures, engaging in small conversations with them, and by the time I was done, Y/N was long gone.

So I resigned myself to walking around the festival grounds, my head reeling. It wasn’t often a woman pretended to be my friend to rescue me from the onslaught of fans. In fact, I couldn’t recall one time that's ever happened. I also wasn’t used to being bought drinks, even if I was still fully intending to return the favor. Although that would require me to find her first. But something told me that wouldn’t be too difficult.

I was grateful I’d come on my own, and not with Ashton who would have no doubt teased me about how hooked I was on the girl. The cynic with a crush? Whatever were the odds? And was it even technically a crush when I’d only interacted with her for maybe five minutes? Okay, maybe Ashton being around wouldn’t be the worst thing if he could help me make sense of the jumble of thoughts in my head. The way that man could bounce from crush to crush almost seamlessly was enough to give me a case of whiplash.

I sighed as I tossed my cup in the trash. Whether or not it was a crush was still to be determined. All I knew was that I liked her energy, and wanted to see her again. And… that was a crush, wasn’t it? God. Fuckin’. Damn it.

A guitar chord rang out loudly, and there was a mad dash of people running towards the stage. Slowly I pushed my way through the crowd of people towards the front, grinning when I noticed it was her on stage, and grinning even more when I noticed the instrument in her hand. A bassist? Fuck, I was definitely in trouble now.

The shortest of the men, Vic, I recalled, started singing, with the other three providing backup harmony on the chorus. Until they got to the bridge that was all Y/N, her voice ringing out “Tomorrow’s a nightmare, I’m dreaming today. And my head is haunted, the past just can’t stay. The devil you know, yeah he comes and he goes. I’m selfish, and vapid, I hide in my prose!” before they launched into the final chorus.

“What up, Anaheim?!” Vic yelled into his mic to a scream of cheers and applause. “We’re Arrows in Action, and that was our newest single, Only Be Mine. I’m Vic. We got Matt over here on guitar. Jesse’s on the drums. And Y/N’s over there on bass. We got a few more songs for you all. And if you’re an awesome crowd, we might have a special treat for ya at the end of our set. Sound good?”

We answered him in whoops of cheers and loud applause, causing them all to grin as they launched into their next song.

They played seamlessly through about three more songs, enjoying the feeling of playing live in front of people again, before Y/N whooped into her own mic. “Whoo! It’s hot! Anyone else hot? Y’all staying hydrated out there?” she asked us, before flickering her gaze across the stage at Matt who was wiping his forehead. “You good, Matt?”

“Dude, it’s like a million degrees up here,” he commented, before taking a huge swig from a water bottle.

Y/N laughed. “Right. Y’all gotta understand. Matt’s from the cold states. Then there’s Vic and I who are California natives, technically, right Vic?”

“Yeah, I was born here. But I didn’t live here as long as you did.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. So Vic and I are used to the heat. Matt, not so much. And Jesse? How you doing back there, J?”

“Me?” the drummer pointed at himself in confusion “Oh, I’m great!”

“Great enough to give this crowd a real surprise?” she asked, her voice laced with playful trouble, as she looked at all her bandmates. “C’mon, boys what do ya say? Wanna give this crowd something special before we go?”

Again, we all cheered and applauded as encouragement for whatever surprise they had in mind. “Alright!” Vic laughed. “Alright, you wanna go ahead and introduce it then?”

She smiled wide as she turned towards us. “Alright, everybody! We’re Arrows in Action. We’ve had a great time with y’all! So, as a thank you, we’re gonna play a new song that we haven’t released yet. Is that cool with you?” She laughed as she awaited the response of screaming, whistles, and applause. “Alright. This is called Permanent Vacation, which will be available on all listening platforms this Friday. Let’s go!”

Matt started playing a series of chords that sounded incredibly familiar, while the other three clapped to the beat. But right before the lyrics were supposed to come in, Vic started talking into his mic. “Wait, wait, wait!” he laughed. “I don’t know the lyrics to this!”

“So it’s just like every other song,” Y/N teased him with her own laugh.

“Nah, I think it’s cuz that one’s not ours.”

“Be rad if it was though,” she said, and I swear she shot me a wink. “Alright, alright. So, that one’s not ours. But this one definitely is. And it’s definitely called Permanent Vacation. And it’s out Friday.”

A new guitar and drum beat started up and Vic immediately started singing, again with the rest of the band providing back up vocals until the bridge where it was all Y/N. A soft build before a wild yell that would have torn my own vocal chords to shreds.

“I’m locked and loaded, fire away! Permanent vacation from my brain. Extend my stay another day. Far from home, not alone,” they all finished with a flurry of chords. “Thank you!” Vic croaked into the mic. “Thank you guys so much! We’re Arrows in Action, enjoy the rest of your night!”

With tired but happy smiles, they all bowed before exiting the stage. I moved to follow, but thought better of it, going to hit the drink stand first where I bought 5 beers and 4 waters. A small challenge, made slightly easier by the person working the stand putting the water bottles in a grocery bag for me. With that hanging off my arm, I held 2 beers in each hand, and my own in my teeth.

“Cal!” she laughed, her face flushed when I found them lounging in the grass. “You didn’t have to do that,” she told me as she rose to her feet to help me distribute the beers.

“I said I’d get the next round,” I offered up simply, setting down the bag and taking a seat with them all. “I brought you guys water, too.”

“You really didn’t have to do that,” she laughed, tossing the bottles out anyway, and sitting back down, this time next to me.

“Shut up, Y/N, let the man do what he wants,” Jesse said, downing a water bottle in 2 gulps before turning his attention to his beer. “You’re rad. Thank you.”

“For real, man. This was really cool of you,” Vic said.

“Yeah, huge thanks,” Matt nodded.

“What they said, I guess,” Y/N laughed again, following Jesse’s lead of downing her water bottle before going for her beer. “Fuck,” she sighed. “That’s good. Thank you, really.”

“Happy to do it,” I answered. “That set was amazing, by the way. And that joke at the end was pretty clever. How long were you planning that?”

She giggled. “Uh, well Jesse and I are much more the 5sos fans than Matt and Vic are. But we’re all familiar with your music. And when we were writing the song, and settled on the title, I suggested that it would be funny to start playing your version if we ever got the chance to play it live. Which meant bugging Matt to learn the guitar parts.”

“So you’re the troublemaker of the band?” I guessed.

She shrugged, and hid behind the rim of her cup. “I mean… Depends on the day.”

We continued to lay in the grass, making small talk as we all finished our beers, before Jesse cleared his throat. “Uh… Matt, Vic. You guys wanna come with me to get a good spot for the rest of the acts?” he asked, the suggestion in his tone heavy.

Matt and Vic shared a look, before nodding. “Yeah, yeah of course,” they said, all three of them getting up.

“You assholes are just gonna leave me?” Y/N asked, looking up at them.

“Just come find us when you’re ready,” they winked. “Thanks again for the beers, Cal.”

“Assholes,” she muttered again as they all made themselves scarce. “Sorry about them.”

I laughed, waving it off. “Nah, it’s cool. And kinda nice, maybe?”

“Oh?” she asked, her eyes wide. “Uh…” her face flushed. “I mean…” she started to stammer. “Yeah. Yeah.”

I gave a half chuckle, scratching at the back of my neck. “Look, it’s fine if you’re not… I mean, I figure you probably are if they did that for you, cuz they have no reason to do it for my sake. I mean, they’re your friends and bandmates, not mine. But I know a wing man set up when I see it. But if it’s more of a meddling wing man set up, like that’s fine,” I spilled out, before realizing I was rambling.

“No!” she rushed. “Oh, no, that’s not what I meant at all!” She covered her face in her hands, groaning “Oh, this is so embarrassing…” Her hands moved to push through her hair as she took a long breath to steady herself. “Of course I like you, Cal. Like before I even met you. One of those embarrassing fangirl crush type of deals. And I mean, I’m a bassist in a punk band, so you’re also someone I idolize and take inspiration from.” Slowly her gaze lifted from her lap to lock onto mine. “And then I met you today. And you’re everything I thought you’d be. Thoughtful. Generous. A bit shy, and quiet at times. Nice. And it makes the crush that much stronger, and harder to deal with. Cuz now it’s real. And I feel like I know you. And it’s just… Ugh, it spirals from there, ya know?”

“A good spiral, or a bad spiral?”

“Bit of both? Like the insecurities in me say that you’re an A-list celebrity, while I’m more of like… not an A-lister. My band’s not on the same level yours is. I mean, we play bars and small day festivals. You sell out stadiums and have world tours. There’s a clear discrepancy. But then, another part of me doesn’t give a shit about that. It sees how we’re like-minded. It sees all the ways we click, and all the ways we could work. And that’s where the cocky part comes in, where it sees the like-mindedness and the reasons we could work, and calls you an idiot if you can’t see it too. That, uh, screwed up defense mechanism of it being your loss, ya know?”

“Mhm.”

She sighed. “Sorry. I said a lot. Point is, I do like you. And, that’s that.”

“So the ball’s in my court?”

“Only if you want it to be. And if you don’t, then no. There’s no ball. No court. Just two people who have a few things in common.”

“You wanna hear what I think?”

“Go for it.”

“I think your friends left us for 2 reasons. 1 being that they’re loyal to you, and know how you feel about me. 2 being that they’re also guys. Which gives them a pretty good insight for how I’m feeling too.”

“Uh-huh…” she nodded slowly. “And how you’re feeling is…?”

I could have said the words. But I settled for leaning in, brushing my lips softly against hers for the sweetest of moments, listening to the way her next breath got stuck in her throat. I pulled away, smiling softly at her and shrugging my shoulders.

She traced her lips with her thumb, bewilderment written on her face. “Okay, you really didn’t have to do that.”

“Relax,” I chuckled, stealing her words from earlier. “It’s just a kiss.”

“Well, thanks. I’ll, uh, getcha next time.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

Tag List

@aquarius-hood1996 @creator-appreciator @philthepegacorn @myfavfanficsever @cxddlyash @youngblood199456 @stormrider505 @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @hoodhoran @metalandboybands @maybeememez @1weekago @centerlino @binxiboo

#permanent vacation #calum hood #calum hood fic #calum hood x reader #musician!reader #5sos #calpal irwin

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nachohypno · 3 years

Text

Nate and Dave - Ch. 15

Dave’s POV

I’m sure you already know how much a single person can change a whole lot of your way to see the world, or have your life take a 180° turn (Had to look this up, angles are weird.) just by standing in a corridor.

Now I was just happy to stare at my phone’s unlocked background. A pic I took of us while cuddling. I was kissing his cheek and staring at the camera, while he just laid below me, his face had a little smile and his eyes were closed.

He loved that pic. I loved it too, it was both cute and wholesome. Never been one to do those things, nor even Leslie managed to get me to change my Dallas’ Cowboys background, and we had a lot more pics together than Nate and I do.

It was a nice distraction. I would sometimes just unlock my phone to see that pic and feel a bit warm inside as I imagined spending more time with my soulmate. I loved him a lot, and I wouldn’t mind sticking around with him for a day, or two, or the rest of my life, just to make sure he has all he needs to be happy like I am when I’m near him.

We sat together at school, yeah. Nobody batted an eye. We hung out during our breaks, still no big catastrophe happened. After school, we usually have a date or spend some time together before heading to our respective houses (As much as I’d like, having daily sleepovers wouldn’t be wise).

According to… everyone in the world who knows that I’m hanging out with Nate (Which may be just 2 or 3 people that I’m aware of), the guy had a really positive impact on my behavior. He’s always encouraging me to help whenever I can and to be… nicer, in general.

I’ve already apologized to one of my favorite targets a few weeks ago, but decided to fully leave them alone. In my house, however, I’ve been trying to honor my soulmate’s wishes doing some house chores to help mom and pops around. I still don't think I'm ready to 'change my public image' that much. Kicking nerd's asses is fun... but mean and unnecessary.

Mowing the lawn, going grocery shopping, cleaning around whenever my parents seemed quite tired to do it, that kind of thing. My room wasn’t a messy place before, but now I could spend less time looking for my stuff!

And now… Nate was at his house. I left him there per his request, he told me we could hang out later today! But first, he had some homework to do.

I looked around and noticed the door was closed. I dropped my shirt and pants, felt the locket’s cold metal against my chest, and dropped on my bed.

I wasn’t intending to take a nap, just close my eyes and think of my soulmate was a nice enough plan for my evening.

As I closed my eyes, images of my first day with him invaded my happy place. Me getting his scent, slowly walking over to his locker, and noticing the guy I never paid attention to, the one that sat a few rows in front of me, and was usually in the middle of the way when I threw paper balls around.

Now that I thought of it, maybe I never noticed him because he always hid? He was hiding right now; it was obvious that he was using his locker as a cover. I stood there, though. Taking in the smell. Feeling myself realizing more and more of that nice thought I had never thought about after my pops told me about that weird phenomenon.

…I had found my soulmate. The love of my life… It wasn’t my girlfriend, but a guy from my class… I frowned both in the real world and in my fantasy.

In the fantasy world, I lifted and kissed him. He didn’t fight back, just returned the love I was giving him by returning my kiss. I didn’t care if anyone watched us. I loved this guy, and I still do now.

I love Nate Hall.

I rubbed my crotch in the real world, as I kept kissing him in my fantasy. That was more than enough. A single kiss, a single thought about my soulmate being happy and in love with me could make me so hard and horny…

“Dave?” A voice said. My soulmate’s? It sounded so different though… I kept kissing him. This was perfect. He was perfect. He was the love of my life, of course he was perfect! “Daaaaave?”

Was there someone invading my fantasy? Oh, wait…

I opened my eyes and saw a familiar face standing there, wide eyed. I had my hand on my hard crotch, rubbing it. This was definitely an uncomfortable position to be found at. I could normally hear when people are walking towards my room, but maybe I was so out of it this time that I didn’t hear him.

“Fuck, sorry— Didn’t wanna—” My cousin said. What the fuck was he doing here, anyway?! In my room! When the fuck did he arrive?!

“Shut the fuck up! And close the door!” I commanded, feeling anger building up on my chest, totally replacing the warm feeling from a few seconds ago.

Brad Walker. My cousin was my height, which was a bit funny given that he was a few years older than me. He was muscled too, but his shoulders seemed wider as his torso formed a sort of upside down triangle. He was a rugby player, maybe it had to do with that.

By looking at his face alone, he could pass as a brother because of the resemblance. He had the Walker’s smile, looking both chilled while also managing to look a bit menacing to keep everyone in their toes.

Doesn’t give him much use, given that he’s a Beta.

Brad closed the door behind him, and laid back on it. “Off to a rocky start, I guess. Let’s try that again… Hey, cuz!”

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. I could feel the anger diminishing. I thought of my soulmate, how would he react if he saw me like this. He would want me to be nice and polite to my cousin. I wanted that too, I wanted to be nice to him. I’m so hot-headed sometimes…

I smiled at Brad, and took a few steps forward to give him a bro hug. After that, I walked over to my bed and sat on the edge. “Hey man, wat’cha doin’ around here?”

“Uncle hasn’t told you? Pops and him thought about doing a little reunion, so we drove over and… here we are.” Brad left his hands in his pockets as he looked around. I noticed I was still almost naked, but didn’t give it much thought. I did put some shorts on, though. “Just the big guys, though. Mom was tired and decided to stay at home with the young ones, so it’s just pops, Logan and me today. The guys asked me to get you downstairs, so… shall we go?”

I pointed to my almost naked body. “Give me a few minutes, alright?”

-----

Dressed up in some shorts and a grey tank top, I walked downstairs with Brad following me closely.

Pops was there, with his brother and my other cousin. I walked over to Logan and gave him a brohug. I liked my cousins, they were like brothers.

“Hey man,” Logan greeted me after the hug. It was nice seeing him. Well, like, nice and not nice, because he was pretty annoying sometimes. So I hoped he didn’t get very annoying tonight. “Damn, you look buffed. Taking steroids already?”

I rolled my eyes. “Why do you ask? Need some to stop being so thin, cuz?”

“I swear I still don’t know how he's not broken after kicking that ball. Y’look like a stick, bruh” Brad backed me up. I liked that about Brad, he was pretty loyal.

Logan laughed. He’s not one of those chums who get mad at every tiny insult. He’s pretty easy going in that regard. Would need to learn from him, because I am one of those chums who get mad at every tiny insult. “Don’t pull my dick, assholes” He punched my shoulder, softly.

Even though Logan was a year older than me, he was an ass. And that’s coming from me.

Logan… He was alright, I guess. Not really very muscly like me or Brad, nor our parents for that matter. That’s because he liked soccer, ugh. Not even weightlifting, nah. Just soccer and cardio.

That got him looking well in a soccer uniform with long socks and knee pads, but… I really should reconsider his standing in my pack. Meh, might as well let him in just because he’s family, but I’ll most likely order him to start working out more to be a real wolf bro. (I’ll get into this later.)

“Uh… don’t wanna be rude or anythin’ but… how long are you guys staying? Thought about having a friend coming over and-”

“Ooooh, is it your girlfrieeend?” The soccer cuz said, moving his fingers towards my face. I slapped his hand off me, and he laughed. “Big meanie Daveee has a girlfrieeeend” He was like a little kid when it came to annoying others, and the worst part was that he nailed it.

“Oh, shut it, bro. You’re just jealous- Wait, that’s not what I was going to ask”

“Dad and uncle Adam thought about doing some beefs for tonight, soooo… family dinner, I guess? We don’t really hang out often, so I thought it would be nice. Besides, we all love beef” Brad answered, holding his arms behind his head and stretching for a bit.

“We’re about to leave, actually,” Uncle Thomas said, grabbing his car keys. “Gonna buy some meat and drinks for tonight. Y’guys wanna come? Hey cub, haven’t seen you in months...”

I greeted my uncle with a firm handshake, before he gave me a little punch on the abs. “Strong as a rock. Not bad, kiddo.” He ruffled my hair, before turning his attention back to my pops.

I was a bit too worried to think about hitting the store. Nate was supposed to come after he finished his homework, so we could spend the night together. I was supposed to pick him up. Fuck, what am I gonna do?

I shook my head and remained silent. Brad followed suit with a “Yeeaaah… No, been in that car for an hour and I’d really like to move my legs.”

“Pussies,” Logan said in a snarky tone. I raised my eyebrow, but decided to take care of him later. “I’ll go, may find some hot chicks in this friggin’ town…”

My uncle looked similar to my dad, just a few little differences. Dark blond hair, a bit longer. Their sizes were similar, but my dad was bigger. It was weird to think that my uncle was the one who activated the werewolf curse in a bar fight and not my dad.

If you kill someone, whether it was intentional or accidental, you can’t transform into neither your werewolf or full wolf forms without experiencing a lot of pain. Could be avoided by never turning into those forms but…

Transformation is mandatory during the full moon. This whole thing seemed really thought out to punish those who don’t follow the rules, right?

Brad grabbed my arm “Hey, since we’re staying behind apparently, wanna catch up?” He pointed back to the stairs, probably wanting to go to my room.

I nodded, nothing better to do. And it would give me some time to think about what excuse I could give Nate.

Again in my room, Brad closed the door behind me. “So… a friend? I mean, the locket already gave me an idea but I didn’t you were bringin’ her to your place already…”

“It’s nothing, really…” It was something, a lot. I loved wearing this locket, it reminded me of Nate. Thus meaning, it was pure bliss in a single necklace.

“So, what’s the locket for? Always thought you’d end up with that Leslie chick you talked so much about” Oh, I forgot. My cousins never met my ex.

I shook my head, but was kind of hesitant to talk about it. In the end, I eased myself to the idea as I thought more about Nate. “Got a soulmate now, cuz.” Was my answer. I was proud of myself! Not even a half of the average werewolf population gets to meet their soulmate once in their lives!

I was lucky, it was like, one in a whatever-number-of-people-there-are-in-Earth!

“Waitwaitwait, not gettin’ it. So, you and Leslie… or is it another girl?”

“It’s a guy, his name is Nate” I mumbled out quickly. I wasn’t embarrassed, but at the same time, I felt like a chunk of ice just fell through my stomach.

Silence.

“So… you’re gay now?” Brad said, giving me a thumbs up. “It’s alright, I don’t mind gay people”

I honestly couldn’t get how he got that assumption. “What? What makes you think that?”

“You’re with a guy, like dating and loving him and you even have a locket… I mean, that’s pretty gay. But it’s cool, it’s not that weird. Lots o’ people take some time to discover their sexuality and stuff— Uh… Cuz?”

I stared at him. Not staring, actually. I was glaring at him.

Brad gulped. “I fucked up, didn’t I?” While he did sound afraid, his face displayed a mix of nervousness and worry. I always laughed at him when he asked if he fucked up, like it was a regular thing for him to do but still needed other’s approval about it.

I just glared at him, making sure he knew I wasn’t happy. I walked forward and held my gaze into his, trying out my favorite part of being an alpha.

As I focused on him, his expression slowly started to relax, then vanish, as his pupils dilated.

“On your knees” I commanded, making sure he got it as an order, not a ‘humble request’.

His blank face didn’t move an inch, as he dropped to his knees and looked forward. His eyes, besides the pupils being dilated, looked glazed over as his irises changed from hazel to pure yellow. The beta color!

“Who’s your alpha?” I mocked him, as he blankly stared ahead.

“You are, sir. David Walker is my alpha” Brad droned. I ruffled his hair. He was a good beta.

“And who do you have to be respectful towards?”

“My alpha, sir. Being respectful towards their alphas is the sign of a good beta, sir” Brad answered, in a matter of fact voice.

…I should probably explain what the heck is going on.

I’m an alpha. I’ve mentioned quite a few times already, but I never mentioned anything about other ranks.

You have omegas, who are wolves without a pack. They’re usually weaker than alphas and betas. Then there are the betas, werewolves already in a pack.

Omegas can survive quite well on their own, it’s not a requirement to have a pack. But if you want to get stronger… Getting an alpha is the best you can do.

That’s one of the reasons Pops is so proud of me. He and mom conceived an alpha in their first try! Nate usually nerds out about me sounding like a “Jerry Stud” whatever the fuck that is.

So, since I’m an alpha, both my older cousins are ‘my pack’ to call it some way. And you just got to see one of my favorite alpha skills.

Much like a soulmate bond, being a beta for an alpha makes them completely loyal to the alpha, which means… I have some degree of control over them. Not as much control as my love has over me, but still… It’s fun!

“So, won’t you apologize for calling me a fag— Uh… gay?” I’m still getting used to not using that word. Everything for my Nate. Can’t be a bully anymore, right?

I didn’t have to ask twice. Brad seemed to struggle a bit against it, but after a few seconds he said “I apologize, sir. I didn’t intend disrespecting you like that…” It was a cold, empty apology. But it did the trick. I’m not a picky guy, he’s my cuz after all.

But that did make me wary. Should I tell Nate to not come after all, at least until these guys leave? Fuck, they were going to ruin my evening with my soulmate.

“Uh… what do you think about my soulmate being a guy?” I walked in front of him, back and forth. I was trying to think what would be the wisest decision here. A second opinion would be useful.

“I personally don’t care, sir. You can love whoever you want, especially if you met your second half.” My cousin answered.

“I mean, yeah. But what would Uncle Thomas and Logan say if they found out about it?” I should uh… ‘wake him up’ or whatever already. But I liked him this way. You can say I’m a dominant guy. Not saying I lust over my cuz, that would be incest, but ordering him around is fun.

“I don’t really know. He’s your soulmate, they shouldn’t say anything. Logan is a fellow beta though, it wouldn’t be wise to fear anything from him. He’s as loyal to you as I am, my alpha.” Not going to lie, I loved hearing that.

Being in control of the situation, having everyone in my surroundings looking forward to being with me, or do as I say out of fear/respect/whatever… That’s why I loved the not-studying-part of school!

As a little reward for his opinion, I did what Nate would have done to me if I did particularly good: Scratch the back of his ear. Brad’s head got some emotion again, as he got closer to my hand and started panting with his tongue out.

“There, there. Good beta cuz” I mumbled, as I machinated a plan in my head. I had an idea, but it would be a bit… not ideal. I stopped scratching the good spot, and his expression blanked out again. I crouched in front of him, and looked straight into his eyes. “I want you to listen very clearly to me, understood? Listen and do as your alpha says…”

If Brad wasn’t in ‘beta mode’ before, then he definitely was now. His irises were still a bright yellow, but his pupils were even smaller now. “I’d do anything for my alpha, sir” placing a hand on his chest. I knew what that symbolized, I used that expression with Nate before. It freaked him out a little.

“Y’know, my soulmate is kinda a big deal for me so… I want you to treat him like a king, alright? No mean or cocky comments, just be nice to him and I’ll be nice to you, got it?” I had to search for the words to say this, it wasn’t really a piece of cake as I expected. “Think of him as an extension of your alpha. Make him feel good and do what he says, and you’ll be good to go.”

He frowned a bit, but his face quickly eased up. “As you command, my alpha. Your soulmate’s wellbeing will be my top priority, sir.”

Yeah, that’s more like it. “Get up now.” I said and just… walked away from him. I wasn’t interested in bossing him around anymore, not for now at least. But actually…

“Lift your shirt.” One last command wouldn’t hurt, and he obeyed without a question, like a good beta. I walked towards him and gave him a little punch on his abs. Didn’t even flinch, he was keeping up with me! Of course, I wanted the best for my pack! “And… Beta out.”

My cousin snapped out of whatever that was, his yellow irises returning to a nice hazel, as his pupils got back to normal. He grabbed his phone from his pocket and smiled. “Huh, 5 minutes. Wonder what you did there” The guy said, smiling at me.

He couldn’t get mad at me. I was his alpha! I mean, he could… but there wasn’t much he could do about it!

“Meh, you don’t really care, do you?” I said, trying to sound uninterested.

Brad shook his head. “Nah, I really don’t. I really trust ya, cuz. Best alpha around!” Couldn’t tell if he was following the ‘you don’t really care’ thing, or if he was being honest, but I didn’t really care.

“That’s a good beta” I mumbled, going closer to him again to scratch the back of his ear. God bless Nate and discovering that hidden pleasure for me. I loved when he did that to me, as I mentioned, and I loved doing it to other wolves, too!

“What are you two ladies doin’ up here- What the hell are you two doing?” Logan entered the room. My other older cousin, although younger than Brad. Rather than being as muscular as we were, he was more chilled. Yeah, he was in good shape, but he didn’t look like a big gym bro like us.

This was probably due to him preferring Soccer rather than football or rugby. Each to their own, but soccer isn’t that fun to begin with? I tried to not give it much thought and respect his hobbies.

“Brad, close the door and put on some music.” I ordered him, walking over to Logan and wrapping an arm around his small soccer player’s shoulders. “You just made my whole evening way easier, lil’ cuz”

I wondered if Nate would like this. I’d have to send him a message telling him that I wouldn’t be able to pick him up… That felt bad, but at least these guys wouldn’t bother him tonight!

-------

Nate’s POV

Dave invited me to his house, but asked me to walk over. He told me we could have a family dinner, which was alright. I liked his family. Mr. Walker was funny and Ms. Walker was really nice to us. We just had one family dinner and Dave spent most of his time zoned out.

And also, there was a full moon, which I didn’t get to see.

Was I glad they considered me ‘family’? It pushed me out of my freaking mind when Dave sent me that text.

I was walking slowly. Not like a snail and doing baby steps, but I felt like I should slow down as much as I could and… be fashionably late? It was a good walk, from my house to his. But I didn’t mind.

The town was quiet, not much stuff happening as I walked out of my house, and on the way to Dave’s neighborhood.

I thought about buying some ice cream or some nice dessert to make a good impression this time, but hey, I don’t really think they’ll care about it that much. They highly prefer meat, as far as I know.

Stopping in the middle of the way, I grabbed my phone and checked my maps app. “Should have arrived 10 minutes ago… fuck, that shortcut would have been really useful…” I mumbled to myself, changing my route and getting back on the way.

I was nervous at fuck, that maybe explained my silliness. And I also never walked to this part of town. It wasn’t… bad, but it was a bit more private than the usual neighborhoods, which fits Dave’s family pretty well due to them being werewolves, and stuff like that.

I still had some time to cancel and be like “Oh, hey. My… hamster pet is sick and I want to look after him?” I kind of sucked at making up excuses, that's why I never wanted to be late on homework due to laziness.

It was late now, just another block and...

I reached Dave’s house. It was weird arriving here on my own. Guess I really got used to my soulmate acting as my personal driver.

The rooms inside were on, Dave’s car and his dad’s were outside the garage. The closer I got to the front door, the louder I would hear laughter coming from inside. Were they having visits? It didn’t sound like Dave’s laugh. His laugh was… deep and dumb-sounding.

I stopped now. What if they had visits? What if Dave didn’t tell them I was coming? I was shaking a bit, before taking a deep breath.

Taking my final steps to be in front of the main door, I knocked and waited for someone. Loud footsteps later, Adam Walker (Dave’s dad) opened the door.

“Hey bud. Didn’t know you were coming, but uh…” He motioned inside with his head. “Come in, the big guy is in his room with his cousins. We’re having a family dinner”

“Thanks, mr. Walker-” But he stopped me as I set a foot on the door. The older man leaned in and started whispering.

“Don’t be afraid. If you don’t want to be picked on tonight, try your best to not sweat as you did the last time. Dave will probably have you covered, though.” He patted my back, and moved aside to let me in. After that, he closed the door behind me. “Dinner will be ready in a bit so… feel free to go mingle with the guys upstairs.”

Uh… that wouldn’t be needed, apparently. Dave and a pair of guys were coming downstairs, and as soon as my puppy boy saw me, he rushed towards me to give me a big tight hug. “Missed you a lot, bruh! Didn’t know there was going to be more family tonight so… I’m really sorry for that. But I’m sure we’ll have a good time!”

The other two guys just stared at me, arms folded. One of them was big, and buffed. He had an absent smile, a bit creepy but also inviting. The other was smaller than him (And Dave, for that matter).

“Uh… since your uncle is here, these are…”

“Cousins, yuh” Dave finished the sentence. I made the connection on my own, but it was good to get some confirmation. “Big one’s Brad, small one’s Logan.”

“Hey, I’m not small!” Logan complained, trying to punch Dave’s arm. He didn't seem to do much damage though.

“Yeah, and I’m a bottom, heh” My werewolf jock replied, obviously mocking his cousin. I noticed Brad chuckling, and I couldn’t help but find that funny though. I always wondered if Dave would like to bottom at least once. I feel like he’d be alright if I asked him for it, due to me having full control and all that...

After the introduction was over, and both guys shook my hand, my focus shifted again to who I wanted to be with: Puppy boy was looking at me too.

“I can’t find the words to tell you how glad I am to see you here, though” Dave said, before pulling me in for a good make out session. In the middle of the living room. He was feeling happy or romantic, I assumed? I was surprised his cousins didn’t react at all, and just looked like they were watching some kind of movie.

“Wait, what the heck?” Oh geez.

A man blasted in the living room, and tried to separate me from Dave. The puppy boy reacted quickly though, and pushed him away. “What the fuck, old man?! This is my soulmate!”

Before the guy could go back at us, Dave’s dad popped in to save the day! “You guys just had to hold on for a bit until dinner was ready!” I felt like the ‘complaint’ was more directed towards who-I-thought-was Dave’s uncle, and Dave himself.

The puppy boy seemed a bit angry, he got in front of me and made sure I was out of view. It was a cute touch. I noticed the other two guys taking a step towards us too, like siding with Dave in this.

“Just, calm down, all of you, and start setting the table. Try to not take your eyes out while you do, alright?!” Mr. Walker surely knew how to take care of these situations. Was this a normal thing?

After a long stare, both guys nodded, and we all scrambled.

-----

I was sitting next to Dave and that other guy, Brad. Across me, Mr. Walker looked around with a calm expression, as he chewed on his meat piece. Thomas, Dave’s uncle, wasn’t exactly subtle when it came to me. His eyes were like daggers, fixated on me as I nervously stared at my plate.

It was amazing, and terrifying. The resemblance and also differences between both werewolves were quite noticeable. Mr. Walker was probably calm because he already knew about my thing with Dave. The cousins seemed to be quite attentive towards my every movement and sound. I felt like their eyes would automatically fixate on me at any little sound I would make, which was killing me inside. (Were they glowing yellow? Maybe it was my head playing tricks…)

Was I doing something wrong or offensive? I should excuse myself from the table.

“So…” Uncle Thomas started, before biting a big chunk of beef and gulping it down quickly. “Uh… soulmates, that’s neat. How did you two meet each other?”

‘First family dinner all over again…’ I thought to myself, as I tried to find the words for my answer.

“School, I was just walkin’ around and smelled him. Knew he was the one so… tried my best, huhuh.” Dave saved my ass, although his story was different this time. We lied during the first dinner. I couldn’t remember the excuse anymore, and that’s what bothers me about lies.

They’re usually hard to remember. That’s also the reason I’m a bad liar, my memory is awful.

“Yeah, that’s how it usually happens. You just walk around and get the smell, all the soulmate stories start exactly like that, ain’t that right?” Dave’s uncle looked at his brother next to him, who gave him a really angry looking frown.

“Go fuck yourself, got’cha?” I understood that reaction, The man lost his soulmate, I guess the memories were still painful? I’m no psychologist to tell.

“Yeah, sorry, shouldn’t have mentioned that… So uh… back to you, kiddo.” Oh, fuck. Dinner was nice, the meat was delicious! But Dave’s uncle didn’t seem to be… really fond of me. I was glad to see (Not really, now I sound like a dick) that he was bothering Mr. Walker too, so it’s nice to see that the consensus was… Dave’s uncle was a loud mouth ass. “You don't seem to have big muscles, but that's pretty much a given when you're a human."

“I’m sorry…” I mumbled, looking up at him. I tried to sound nice and not afraid, like Mr. Walker suggested before but… it was hard. “Not really good at sports and stuff like that, I guess-”

“Can see that. At least you’re a valedictorian, right?” I shook my head. High grades weren't my top priority. I did well at school, but didn’t focus enough for high grades to be a given. “No? That’s too bad.”

“Tom…” His brother tried to calm him. I noticed Dave needed some calm too. The big guy was clenching his fist with a lot of strength, as he held his knife with the other hand. He didn’t seem eager to cut the meat though, so I decided to step in for him.

I grabbed his fist beneath the table, feeling as it relaxed the longer I touched him. At the end, he grabbed my hand too, and I noticed his expression relaxed as well.

“Dad, don’t be such a dick. The guy’s fine, cut it out.” One of Dave’s cousins, big guy, uh… Brad! He seemed to be standing up for me, for some reason. He angrily stared at Dave’s uncle, without an apparent reason.

Uh… I felt like I was missing a big chunk of information here.

The uncle just stared back at his son, a bit surprised by his reaction. But before he could answer, or even react at all, Dave’s dad spoke up. “Well, it’s been fun, a neat reminder of why we never have family reunions, heh.”

“Ow, c’mon. It’s just a big friendly talk between men and…” He looked at me, seemingly ready to strike another insult. I grabbed Dave’s hand tighter.

But Dave’s dad didn’t give him the chance. “Dinner’s over. You guys will be going upstairs.”

“Roger that” I mumbled, leaving my plate with still a good chunk of meat. I didn’t let go of Dave’s hand, but he followed right after me.

“But I wanted a bit more beef...” The other cousin said. Logan, if I remember correctly. He was small, rather than muscled and big. I related to him because of that, glad to see not all male werewolves are big muscular people.

“Take the plate” Brad whispered to him, before following us upstairs.

“Okay, what’s going on-” I started to say, but my boyfriend shushed me.

“I’ll tell you all about it upstairs, just follow me and don’t make loud noises. Remember that they can hear everything in here” Dave interrupted me, as we went to his room. ‘Great, now my werewolf seems to be part of a mafia’.

-----

Locking the door behind us and his cousins, Dave ordered his cousins to stand aside, and they obeyed right away. “I’ll put some music here and…” His phone started playing some loud rock, but not loud enough to make the place feel annoying. “There, we can talk now.”

“Whaaat’s going on? And just tell me already, it feels quite bad to be insulted for no reason.”

“You weren’t really being insulted, bruh. I was.” Dave explained, motioning for me to go closer before leading me to his bed. “Uncle has… a bit of a problem, like pops has. But while pops knows when to shut his mouth, my uncle doesn’t, huh.”

“I don’t really see the insulting part there but continue…” I pointed out, but Dave just chuckled. Which seemed to cause a chain reaction and the werewolves guarding the door in front of us chuckled too.

“Sorry, yeah. Uh, well… My uncle is just bitter because my dad got an alpha son on his first try, me of course” I could figure that out on my own. The ‘I’m an alpha’ part I mean, he says it all the time. “Brad and Logan here are my betas. They were born as omegas, yeah, but I got them in my pack by willing choice because betas are usually stronger than omegas.”

The cousins were on the other side of the room. The small one, Logan, was tasting his meal with delight, while Brad leaned in to… hear our chat? They looked directly at Dave as soon as he mentioned them, before each one of them saying a “Hey” “‘Sup?”

“Why are they so… attentive?” Nosy mode on. I wanted to get answers, mostly because my curiosity was triggered now. ‘Obedient’ would have fitted better than ‘attentive’ though.

“Asked them to take care of you for the night, because I wasn’t sure if It would look good for me to do it. Pops is usually really fond of my uncle, but I think he didn’t like seeing him insulting my soulmate to get to me, bruh” Dave then put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer. “I can put them back to normal if you want me to, but… they don’t really mind, so why bother?”

Uhm… I risk myself sounding like a dick right now, but I found the idea of the two cousins under Dave’s control quite arousing… I’m not going to say it to him, of course! I didn’t want him to feel bad or anything if he saw his soulmate interested in other guys…

“Where are they going to sleep, by the way? Or are they leaving after a bit?” It was after dinner already so… it wasn’t a bad thing to ask. Like, we had school tomorrow...

“Living room, sofa. One of them, at least. I’ve got a sleeping bag, because they both can’t fit on the sofa, so while the guest room is occupied by my uncle and… yeah, I’ll go get that old thing. Gimme a sec.”

Dave got up from the bed and left the room, leaving me sitting there alone as the two cousins stared at me.

“Hope the meat is still good…” I told Logan, trying to sound nice. I felt a bit bad, Dave made them look after me, and that made them ‘defend’ me against their father. Yeah, I definitely feel bad now. “Sorry for crashing into the dinner.”

“You kiddin’? You seem like a cool guy, dad was just being an ass. It’s okay though, I think he likes you” Brad answered, and I feel like he’s the one “kiddin’” here. “He’s just… We don’t like family dinners, we do them out of courtesy. Nothing personal, dad can be naturally obnoxious sometimes”

I wanted to say sorry again or something like that, but that’s when Dave bursted in with the sleeping bag. “Y’guys play rock paper scissors to decide who’ll sleep with the alpha… Like, beside me, don’t get weird ideas.”

I chuckled, as Dave threw the sleeping bag next to the cousins, and started taking off his shirt as he walked towards me. “You’re sleeping over, right? It’s still early, but I can make up for the bad time by cuddling, if you’d like.”

To be honest, it felt like a good idea to distract me from that… failed family dinner night. Never again I’ll ‘crash’ into a Walker dinner (Even though Dave knew I was coming over). Too many surprises for a lifetime, thank you.

I laid down, rolled over to leave him room. We wouldn’t be sleeping yet, I hoped. The big guy laid down beside me and quickly pulled me in.

“Fuck…”

“Yeah!” We turned towards the other guys and noticed Brad had won the rock paper scissors game. Logan just seemed defeated, he grabbed his empty plate and looked over at us.

“Well, g’night bros. Gonna be in the living room, I guess.”

“Buh-bye” Dave said, before turning around again and holding me in his arms. “Sorry again for all that before, bruh. Let's get some sleep, a’ight?”

Honestly, I think I didn't feel as offended as I should have. Best to just let things slide off, I guess. I decided to just nod, and doze off while hearing Brad setting up his sleeping bag.

I didn’t pay him much mind, though. My puppy boy's hug felt nice enough to help me relax quite quickly...

--------------------

Author’s note:

Took me long enough. But chapter 16 went up already, so gotta keep up with the content.

Chapter 16 is available in my Patreon, but it will go up as soon as I publish Chapter 17 there. Shouldn’t be long, I feel very inspired lately! (Hopefully it won’t take as long as this one did 😅).

Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it <3.

#nate and dave #werewolf #mind control #brainwash #gay hypnosis #straight to gay #hypnotized #brainwashing

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papers4me · 3 years

Text

Fruits Basket Manga Review, ch (92-93)

That was painful & so well-written! This analysis will focus on kyokyo mainly & faintly on her effect on kyo. Although, her story affects tohru’s life immensely, I won’t analyze tohru’s part & will wait until it’s a tohru’s chapter to use the knowledge of kyoko’s past to better read tohru’s mind & understand her decisions! Can’t wait! after all, that’s why I’ve read the manga to begin with!

-Kyoko’s Atonement: (the weight of words):

Kyoko breaks down after she learns she’s expecting. Why? cuz she hurt her mom. The notion that “yeah my parents caused me emotional trauma & so I’mma hurt them as well” is toxic & burdening as it starts a cycle of pain. Kyoko was right. She had no idea how her mom felt seeing her rebel, or follow violence or hear her harsh words. I’m not cleansing the mom from guilt nor responsibility. I’m just saying since the mom’s pov is blocked from us, assuming shes similar to the dad is wrong. kyoko’s fear of being punished with a child similar to herself is genuine, realistic & refreshing to see expressed in anime! usually character like kyoko are cool & brave, but here she’s humanly weak & doubtful. LOVE IT!

Moreover, in furuba words weigh on ppl & have consequences. We see this with kyo. His dad destroyed him verbally with words “ not my fault, it’s yours” that kyo echoes back to yuki! meaning the consequences of the dad’s words cause harm to his wife, kyo & even yuki!. Kyo was tormented with his own words for long time & clung to them even more in order not to resort to suicide! “ not my fault, it’s the rat’s” . Words can crush you down so bad if you hear them from loved ones, & worse if you utter them back to other loved ones! here kyoko learned that just the mere thought of her future child echoing her words back to her would torment her to death! Excellent writing!

-Katsuya invented Furuba’s vision (Accepting weakness & moving on):

The teachings of kyoko & tohru were really katsuya’s after all. I’m fne with that. These teachings are the core of Furuba’s vision. He tells kyoko to accept that she’s weak, afraid & doubtful. it’s okay. But gives her tools to move on. Your kid isn’t you. They’re an individual person. As parents all we can do is give love/hugs (sth kyoko’s parents didnt do), listen to them (sth yuki’s parents didnt do) & if they do sth wrong will explain it & teach them well (sth kyo’s parents didn’t do, his wrong deed was being born a cat spirit & he was hated for it with no explanation, mom gave lots of “fake” love & escaped by death, dad became a raging monster). Accepting weakness & moving on is what the cursed sohmnas needed to do to heal & what tohru taught them. Off course, tohru herself struggled to follow her own teachings & that’s amazingly realistic!

-Kyoko’s guilt (punishment brings ease):

Kyoko wanted to be punished so harsh for her husband’s death. The gossip got to her. She failed him as a life’s companion. Taking care of our loved ones is a duty we carry with much love & care. Them slipping away is perceived as us failing by none than ourselves. The thing is, death comes with no warning at times. It was his time to leave. Accepting it or not, wont bring him back, but accepting it will help kyoko deal with pain while not accepting will cause more pain for her & tohru.

One of the most painful things abt grief is that it’s personal. Life continues around you. Only you feel it. “didn’t the world end when katsuya died”. No kyoko. Only you died emotionally. Only him died physically. Kyo once said “ mom why didn’t you kill me instead”. A different reaction to grief, guilt & pain, but same conclusion: neither katsuya nor kyo’s mom are coming back no matter how much pain kyo or kyoko felt.

Kyoko found ease in emotional death, neglecting & refusing life, punishing herself for staying after him.

kyo found ease in rage & blaming others as he his father did, later he’ll escape to emotional & physical slow death “ cat cage/confinement”.

tohru... found ease in pretending "I’m okay” & her mom is alive.. but not physically.. emotionally, so she’ll ignore the truth & live only for her.

Didn’t I say grief is harsh, weird & very very personal. It’s hard to explain, deal with & heal. The mere words of consolation hurt cuz the grieving ones dont want to accept loved one are really gone. Her dad’s harsh words cemented the “emotional death” that kyoko felt. I’m not needed. neither katsuya. nor parents in general. depression. misery. sadness. emptiness.

-The tv show helped to trigger kyoko’s desire to “meet” katsuya. She has already reached the conclusion that she isnt needed. So, the tv show with their words of the deceased wanting you to be happy. triggered her into misinterpreting the words as to mean her death NOT fuel her to live in his memory as intended.

- “Loosing your way first before finding your answer” is okay & so human!:

Ironically..Tohru... was the person Kyoko was punishing NOT herself: By being emotionally dead, kyoko neglected her daughter. Her world shouldnt be just one person. There are others. Katsuya himself gave her a person to love. Tohru. Kyoko chose death & unintentionally set tohru into a world of loneliness 10 times harsher thsn what kyoko faced. She was about to do, but was saved by a nameless child who reminded her of tohru. She chose wrong first but later saw her answer. Kyo chose death by accepting the confinement & he, too, unintentionally set tohru into a world of loneliness 10 times harsher if he wasnt with her. He chose wrong first but later saw his answer. Off course kyo’s story is more developed & complicated as he dealt with bigger issues than just tohru & his answer wasn't just loving tohru alone but also loving himself & choosing to live for them both: himself & tohru.

-Kyo’s guilt is a concussion thought eating him alive:

Part of why kyo’s story was one of the most human & complex is due him loosing his way first, failing, repeating mistakes “ I always though that hurting ppl was the only thing I was good at, after all, isnt that why mom died?” Kyo’s nightmare being a conscious effect of hearing tohru’s talk abt “ videos & memories of loved ones” is 1000 times stronger & more human than a cliche effect of seeing a “ hat” & to revive a a blocked memory... What the hell!! truly disgusting how the emotional weigh is reduced for stupid cliche drama !!!!!! ..

Anyway, kyo actively & consciously wanted punishment .He was sure that kyoko blamed him” I wont forgive you” can only mean what it literally means. The purpose of the nightmare is to cause kyo to seek “ emotional death” like kyoko & to loose his path more. It is meant to prepare kyo to refuse tohru even more. Therefore, the pay off at the climax will be better & stronger.

Reading kyo’s inner thoughts will never not be refreshing!!! Also, the slow burn is cooked on low , hot fire , so the pay off will be the most delicious there is!

Side Notes:

I’ve stated my feelings regarding the age gap between kyoko & katsuya in last chapter’s preview post. I’m done with it & won’t let it interfere with my analysis of kyoko nor tohru.

The idea of just being together as a fun hanging out activity without being bothered much of where reminds ms so much of kyo & tohru!! we see them being happy together in the anime in kazuma’s house, shigure’s rooftop, cooking pancake in the kitchen! I really like this domestic feel of romance! it contradicts the notion of expensive restaurant with the girl wearing a breathtaking dress to woo the guy for it to be utterly romantic as we see in movies, & other stories.

NGL, katsuya looked sexy waiting home.. damn it! >_<

I cried watching tohru between her parents, how they acted & how loved she was! T_T. it reminded me of my niece How her dad’s death affected her! She was the apple of his eyes.. T_T.

Tohru is indeed a rice ball! her dad gave her a masculine name while tohru is so feminine! his reasoning is “finding salty taste in sweet things make the taste better & stronger, kinda giving it a hidden flavour”, the rice ball has a pickle inside it & it’s what makes the taste so savory & delicious!

Grandpa’s “ chance meetings could lead to variety of outcomes, good or bad” YES! kyo/tohru/yuki meeting each other by chance. Fiction make it look weird, but trust me, real life has those by dozens!

“ i wonder how lost you’ll be, how much time you’ll need to get your answer”. He will screw up so bad, kyoko! it will be so good! one of the best screw up’s I’ve seen! so painful for him & tohru & amazingly written!

Kyo’s nightmare being connected to him remembering/dreaming of kyoko’s story is bigger effect than opening the ep with it & having the cause be sth that happened last ep, a week ago... the effect is NOT the same.

Momiji is so cute!!! did his curse break here or not yet? he seemed as tall as tohru.

Writing tohru worried abt kyo after seeing him pale is the tohru I know!! Not that stupid girl who watches the guy she loves have a panic attach in se3, ep6, then goes in ep 7...” dahhhh.. Jeez.. I duno why kyo is sleeping until now.. better laugh & make cute rice cakes” giggle giggle...That scene got me so furious even when I first saw it!! THIS IS NOT TOHRU! tohru cried for a stupid story that haru told abt puppets!! she’ll forget the person she challenges herself for is sick?! ugh!

I love seeing yuki & kyo chill & cool around each other.

Kyoko being fully dependent on katsuya can be a factor in her grief, but I’ve seen cases where both partners are independent but still be completely broken after the others’ death. Grief isn’t logical at all & is extremely personal.

#Fruits Basket #fruits basket manga #ch 92 #ch 93 #sad paper #Anime Only #manga spoilers

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