#but now all of it just makes me sick !!!!

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[lucabyte]

Taking pride in One's own appearance.

#you people are becoming my guinea pigs for my finally learning how to communicate information via comics. a thing ive needed to practice at #also BLEGH. YUCK. andrew hussie was right candy makes you sick. this is a little too saccharine for me. yeesh. let me get back to the meat. #isat #isat spoilers #in stars and time #in stars and time spoilers #isat fanart #in stars and time fanart #isat siffrin #isat loop #sifloop #doodlebyte #'let me get back to the meat' i say eyeing something similarly sickly in my sketches. at least it's mildly tormented as a counterbalance... #you people have no idea how much im having to stay my own hand. oh i can draw miserable nudity but the most basic of fluff? visceral #anyway i dont know the logistics of picking up a glass eye or where loop got money (besides pilfering from siffrin) & ive previously drawn #sif with a vague blank middle-grey eye as either being scarred over or a blank occular prosthesis put in quickly at the nearest town #i dont know that they'd have a glass eye during the game but considering prosthesis are reccomended to keep the skull etc from deforming #id imagine it would probably come up postgame as something to do now theyre not on a time limit trying to save the country #plus i assume that having it gouged at by a sadness wasnt exactly a clean wound by any measure #all this to say. idk i just wanted to get some information across in comic form to Test my Abilities #and we're far enough down now to say my absolute most wretchingly sweet fluff headcanon that actually inspired this #which is that i think siffrin gets into the habit of not wearing the eyepatch around loop so they kinda match. #and as a signifier to the other that they're letting their guard down around them. vulnerability etc. #just kinda wearing it around their neck so they don't lose it

[wilsonsmcgillsweatshirt]

I will never recover from the knowledge that thymoma generally has a very high survival rate, and in most cases that it becomes fatal, the patient has unknowingly lived with the cancer for years. There's a chance that Wilson was sick for half the series and didn't even know it.

#I'm just imagining House looking back at the last few years in horror thinking about the possibility that Wilson had been sick all along #I can see it leading to him feeling like all of their memories are tainted #House definitely blames himself as well even though it was never in his control #I can't imagine how much his already extreme self-hatred was amplified #And he probably looked back at all the mistakes he made and all the fights they had and realizing that - #- while they were having all these fights that now seem so trivial that Wilson was probably sick #They wasted all that time unknowingly with Wilsons cancer slowly progressing as they argued and fought #It makes me want to cry #I'm not a doctor and I know this obviously isn't always the case but from what research I've done this seems the be the standard mostly #house md #house #greg house #james wilson #gregory house #hilson #wilson #housemd #favs #favourites

[rassebers]

Pull yourself TOGETHER man

#panel one that's ritsu and serizawa assisting mob. just btw #who is mob marrying? well... who knows ... #for real though expanding on post canon is so real to ME #because of mob psychos central idea of growing up and getting older and life moving on #like it makes my heart warm to know these kids will GROW UP and GET JOBS and MEET PEOPLE IMPORTANT TO TJEM #and maybe even get married !... #i do think Reigen doesnt often think abt how far they've all come until some sort of big milestone #like a wedding or someone buys a house or graduates from school and etc #and then he's like damn.... ive really known him since he was a lil kid. and here we are now #excuse my rambling im just so sick and crazy and it makes my heart warm #mp100 #my rart #shigeo kageyama #reigen arataka #mob psycho 100 #ritsu kageyama #serizawa katsuya #their network of psychics and friends all chip in to help at the wedding

[plulp]

IM NOT A DOCTOR BUT I THINK I MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP

#my art #dol #harper the doctor #HIIIIIIIIIIII HI EVERYONE 👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋 #its a little bit off so that makes me kinda upset :( but ill figure something out. it might be the colors :( #or maybe the spacing? i left a lot in the top left :( but its fine #and im going to use every lyric of that song for every harper piece i make so that i dont have to think about making captions okay? #but HERE. a HARPER PIECE YOU CAN REBLOG #i give them the stupid messy sidebun because its cute. to me. #im so sorry about the radio silence but i DID warn you all i get artblock often #but!!!!!! i was also accepted into a zine despite my lack of internet presence :) so ive also been busy with that and other stuff too #accidentally made this while practicing for the piece because i couldnt get the style right :( but hopefully ill get a better hold on it #anyways. harper is not a doctor and i love them so much it makes me sick #harper my EVERYTHING. hes my PRINCESS. #MY ANGEL. #i want you all to remember this isnt just an art blog. its a harper fanblog #ohhh but i do have a few few few announcements to make in my next post okay? so dont ignore it alright? kiss kiss love you #IM GONNA BE FUCKING SICK HES HOLDING THE SYRINGE WRONG. AND I CANT FIX IT NOW BECAUSE ITS BEEN RBED

[deoidesign]

Hm... I'm feeling benevolent...

#every time i use the word 'benevolent' i remember that guy who called me 'sensei'??? #because he asked me for a crit and i was basically like 'i really dont like your comic' but obviously constructively #and then he kept messaging me asking for more critique and i had to tell him to stop #and then he made a video review of my last comic and the whole review was like #'yeah so i havent really read this comic. looks pretty sick though. i basically harassed her and she had to say to stop lol' #anyways. that was weird. he used the word benevolent a lot so i always think of him. sending good vibes hope hes still making comics #oh yeah also this is kind of spoilers but not really #sorta like afterword stuff #gotta sketch gotta get into the mindset... #im not sure if that counts as spoilers at all lmfao its just minor design changes #anyways. #time and time again #spoilers #what the hell i typed 'spoilers' and '911 spoilers' was the first option?????? #uh #adam and steve #ttawebcomic #sketches #sketch dump #these used to be patreon posts but its been like 5 months so. theyre free noe #the word 'benevolent' is literally an inside joke with myself now LOL

[arty-cakes]

👆what is this thing⁉️

#CONTEXT:... old vessel(?)zote au comics i was having fun w a few months ago i wont post it all its soo catered to just me :( #but take some croissants. cherish her. (i actually have no idea what he is in this. a prototype or smth hnstly just wanted to get silly) #i still make these it was fun to have an au you dont have to care about. i feel like these panels alone explain the gist of its 'story' #but then i did start caring and 😐 i rewrote/redrew all of it and changed up the dynamics and now its more white lady focused what⁉️ #i got super inspired by that cntrwrld finale to write something more serious lmao... i might watch it again 💀 its a sickness fr #scroodles

[realbeefman]

stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!

wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end

#yeah im too sleepy to revise this. UNFILTERED posting wooahh #some may b shocked but i do actually read thru most of my posts several times to make sure i didnt accidentally write mein kampfe 2 #recently ive come to the realization that i am in fact not an incredibly chill person #and that the constant paranoia and fear in which i live my life is actually PROBABLY a symptom of severe anxiety #like damn. ive always known that im pretty prone to depression but ive preetty much always been aware of that #my mom is a chronic depressive so i know the symptoms i know the signs i have a pretty good arsenal of healthy coping mechanisms #UNFORTUNATELY mommy's mental health problems did not help her not abuse me as a child #so i ended up being a terribly anxious kid who was constantly being screamed at and told i was overreacting (because i was. because i had #a severe anxiety problem that was making me react irrationally.) to everything all the time #which is you know. it is VERY difficult to deal with a mental health problem when you arent aware you have a problem! #its incredible how much. better. my life has gotten since i figured this out and started actively trying to work out what triggers it #and being able to like. realize 'oookay. there is an Issue here and it needs to be overcome' #instead of just beating on myself constantly for not being able to do things without feeling sick or getting breathing problems! #anyways. trauma dumping in tags is over now! #house md #hilson #greg house #james wilson #stacy warner

[scodelariokaya]

also that second to last scene with wilhelm finally yelling at kristina and ludvig was everything to me.... they have not been his parents a second in their entire lives they've been absent they've been neglectful they have forced him to hide his emotions and bottle it all up for 16 years they have not let him properly mourn his brother (the brother he's been looking up to the one person in his family he trusted the brother that as it turns out has been an awful person but that's a whole other conversation) they have forced him to make that damn statement and lie to the whole nation as well as deny him of the one relationship he cherished... they have ignored and dismissed his mental health for years despite knowing about his anxiety and panic attacks (meanwhile the queen gets to have a time off duty to deal with her breakdown??? which results in wille having more responsibilites?? responsibilities he didn't want to begin with???)... they have belittled him at every opportunity while bringing up their perfect firstborn son... i am so sick of them... i was genuinely thrilled seeing wille screaming at them and finally acknowledging all of the shitty ways they treated him... it was the most satisfying scene for me (also edvin's brilliant acting >>> like my jaw was on the floor)

#that being said simon's reaction to wille knocking down the presents was totally understandable especially considering his family issues #was i happy with wille's behavior this season? oh hell no but i just understand and relate to this character was too much... #all of those hateful reactions being thrown left and right right now are making me kinda sick tbh but anyways.... #young royals #young royals spoilers #yr3

[dootznbootz]

Odysseus is the type of guy who oozes rizz and can and will say the sweetest shit to Penelope and revels in her being happy with it ("You're beautiful in red" when she blushes. THAT type of cheesy bullshit. Have you READ the shit he says to her in the Odyssey?) but if she gives it back, he just freezes and Odysseus.exe stops working. Especially since he was the one doing all the flirting in the beginning until she finally chills out and "allows" herself to have a crush.

Penelope: ...You know, I don't really know if your name fits you. Odysseus: Oh? You don't think "Pain in the ass" is a good fit? Penelope: It definitely is...But...I don't know. Maybe it's because when I think of you, I don't think of pain, I think of joy... Yeah, instead of "pain giver", you're a giver of joy."Joy Giver" perhaps? Odysseus:

Penelope: ...Are you okay? Odysseus: *completely red and continues to make a high-pitched squeaking sound like air being let out of a balloon*

He gets more used to it as they get further along in their marriage but in the beginning, this guy was screaming into his pillows and kicking his feet and twirling his hair and being stupid :D

#He's like one of those huge ass frogs that stand up all weird and just screech “REEEE" whenever she gives affection back at first #He's “dead”. His soul has left his body #“Ugh. BE MY WIFE” #like I know I have Odysseus being the “romantic” one currently in my stuff that I've shared but it's just that he was all in from the #beginning but it took her longer to “warm up to it”/believe it. Also with her being SICK in my fic right now. she's not able to do much #but she's just as lovey dovey and cuddly. she's just SICK right now and she was in denial in the beginning. #*kissing his face a bunch while he's sleepy* “You decide to attack me when I'm at my weakest?” *makes a loud “Mwah” sound on his cheek* #I love them soooooo much #odypen #Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #my headcanons #Water Wife

[karamazovanon]

been in SUCH a bad art block lately but i want to post art so here is a rough kirillov WIP i've been working on...........ive been obsessed w the idea of drawing him like an icon/saint/etc but im not satisfied with any of my attempts so far T_T

#THE RED HALO LIKE THE RED BALL. YOU SEE THE VISION #aaaaaagh idk my art block has been BRUTAL. im just as obsessed just unable to express it visually. grrr #aleksey nilych kirillov #devils #devils dostoevsky #the possessed #demons dostoevsky #kirillov #anonart #i will finish and post this eventually im just sick of fucking looking at it rn and i want to post. i scrapped and redrew this like 20 times #the fucking timelapse of this looks like im under a sisyphean curse and i must erase everything every 10 minutes #i love him so much it makes me look stupid. blorbo of all time. #also the actual ver of this has the actual shot in his temple visible but i forgot to enable the layer and its too late now

[hella1975]

day 1383 of thinking about how two of the biggest characters in mha get canonically groomed into adulthood and it's just hardly addressed

#THEY REALLY SAID 'YEAH HAWKS WAS TAKEN BY THE HERO COMMISSION AT AGE 7 AND THE ONLY THING WE KNOW #ABOUT THEIR TRAINING METHODS IS THAT IT WAS ENOUGH FOR LADY NAGANT TO LITERALLY GO CRAZY AND KILL THE PRESIDENT' #HELLO. HELLOOOOOOOO. IS THAT IT. IS THAT FR ALL WE'RE GETTING FROM THAT #AND DONT GET ME STARTEDDDDDD ON SHIGARAKI. HE WANTED TO BE SAVED SO BADLY. HE'S LITERALLY TWENTY #HE SHOULVE BEEN AT THE CLUUBBBBBB #BUT YEAH IT'S FINE OFC MAKE HIM THE VILLAIN AND ACT LIKE HE'S EVIL INCARNATE. THAT'S FINE #and afo now taking control of his BODY. this has to be a metaphor for something you cant do this to me it's so sick and twisted #i feel NAUSEAS over this stupid fucking anime #anyway i just saw an edit of shigaraki and hawks to put me in a movie by lana del rey. will be throwing up promptly #mha #tomura shigaraki #hawks #mha spoilers

[feluka]

didn't the egyptian ministry of foreign affairs say egypt will interfere if israel attacks rafah?? egypt keep your fucking promise

#ik people will say 'what did you expect' #but i just want so desperately for someone to do something #palestine has been thoroughly abandoned by arab nations it makes me sick #even if egypt does something now it would be far too late #and yet still i want ANYTHING to be done at all ya allah!!!!

[nostalgicsneeze]

this is the only website i post art nowadays and i’ll keep doin it but DAMN…

#is there anywhere thats GOOD!! #and i just really dont like twitter anymore or anything with the same set up (bluesky) #its just so bad for art because there is basically no tagging system and everything is too fast paced for me #like im curious artists/writers where do u actually enjoy posting these days ? #tumblr is the only place where im actually happy to be and doesnt make me feel like my brain is rotting and YET… #but honestly what big site isnt selling your data #oh well i’ll be here unless it fully crumbles #i think i’ll start posting on youtube more this year too because im just sick of all these fast paced social medias i wanna take it sloww #and none of this AI shit pleaze #anyways ill be on here and youtube posting art whenever i have it ❤️👍 we’re taking it slow from now on forever and always #dont let all these places get to u. be human or whatever #give ur art a kiss

[cosmicgesture]

DP x DC Idea

ok hear me out- Ghost King Jason Todd. Bear with me a tick.

At the end of the first millennium of his rule, Pariah Dark was required and compelled by Zone Law to name an heir should he retire or shatter. (Not that anyone expected him to do either.) Still, it was a law of the zone itself, and it needled at his core worse than the Observants and their constant prattling.\

So, eventually, he grew annoyed enough by it that he declared his heir to be a liminal being. If that wasn’t controversial enough, he picked a random name that had yet to popularize in the mortal world, specified that the death was a violent one, and the death date? The death date was just numbers he happened to glance at in the moment, with the year set thousands of years away from the time the heir was named.

Pariah Dark figured, what are the chances someone with this name, of liminal nature, will die on this random date? Well, he knew of Clockwork (maybe knew him well, even), and knew there was always some slim chance. Still, he figured he could simply find his presumed heir and destroy him before he could try to claim the throne.

He didn’t expect to be locked up in the Sarcophagus of Forever Sleep.

When he’s freed during Reign Storm and notices the date, it’s one of his priorities to send a lookout for the random kid who would happen to be his heir. Danny and co. lock him up before he receives any information, and that ends up being kind of that.

There’s discussion in the Zone after that, about a potential ruler. Some think right-by-conquest applies, but others argue the technicalities of the matter - Danny did not act alone, did not beat Pariah Dark without help. Thus, it doesn’t count as Conquest (though it does put him in the high recommendations for the next king’s knight). There begins the questioning then: did Pariah Dark ever declare an heir? Few were left who remembered such a thing, but it was confirmed that he had indeed, though the information about said heir was scant and somewhat inconsistent. One story said the heir’s name was Jackson, and that he died tragically; another called him Jensen and claimed he still lived. So the search began, with inconsistent clues. Any place in the mortal realm with enough ectoplasm to sustain a ghost was a potential hiding place for the heir. They started in Amity Park and spread to other towns and cities. Some ghosts sought out newly dead that had died the day Pariah was locked back up again.

But who’d’ve thought to connect that the same day the sarcophagus locked again, a boy named Jason Todd rose from his grave?

#dp x dc #danny phantom #jason todd #pariah dark #ghost king jason todd #i really want to make this dead on main but this is all i've got #listen a throwaway line from danny fenton dead and loving it gave me a small brain worm #and it finally squirmed its way back with Content #HI LET ME CONTRIBUTE TO THE GIANT MASS OF AUS #my condolences to those who are sick of dc crossovers #hi i don't know shit about how jason rose from the grave but i don't care #his death date was the one pariah declared #he never expected the name jason to actually get popularized enough for there to be a greater chance #Clockwork didn't have to do anything #it just Happened on its own #anyway jason ended up the heir to the throne by pure chance and that declaration Guaranteed his ressurection #idk thats all i got im going to bed enjoy #oh actually no- danny does end up jason's knight #that's an important Thing #now i'm done

[icewindandboringhorror]

Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!

#cats #holiday #OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few #days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below) #My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart #rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart #so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag #and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day #last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few #hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent #ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect #because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make #me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these #'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a #few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is #getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better #and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo #I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm.. #pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c #Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after #like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread... #I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was #doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally #ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully #whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos #ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever. #And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely #though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart #stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive #things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***