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lovelyfinch · 3 years

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my summary of ranboo’s story of his character from his stream

copied from my 5 page google doc i wrote instead of doing homework

this starts at the beginning and goes until 1hr 28 minutes into the stream

(i think i got basically everything he said)

joined the server, killed by dream, received a small tour from niki

the next day, he got a tour from tubbo, president of lmanburg. they talked about how ranboo was also running for president

shaped his first thoughts on lmanburg. that it was a good place.

finding michael with tubbo!

meets tommy! tommy tells him about george and ranboo agrees to burn down georges house (in order to not make enemies since he thought they had more than him)

niki and puffy were on a date and they tried to sneakily get past (asking niki for her armor, not suspicious at all)

tommy and ranboo grief georges house, accidentally burning it down. they ran from it, thinking they got away.

puffy asks if ranboo did it. ranboo couldn’t remember and doesn’t know why.

dream started building the walls on lmanburg

dream shows them georges house, destroyed. tommy gets blamed, ranboo is questioned bc puffy says she saw him. tubbo kills ranboo with the spoon (not canon)

the meeting hall to meet with dream.

THE MINUTES MAN OF LMANBURG - tasked with taking the notes for the meeting

there was a pig man watching the meeting

the meeting did not go well. tommy brings out spirit against dream. dream played along but didn’t truly care, only caring for the disks.

tommy stood up for ranboo at the trial. they asked ranboo about it and he said his memory was bad but they cut him off. he never said he didnt remember the burning, only that his memory was bad.

being the minutes man gave him the idea to make the first Do Not Read book, writing who to trust and not trust

dream tubbo tommy quackity and fundy on the wall. tommy being taken away for some reason. the exile.

ranboo felt guilty because tommy wasn’t the only one who destroyed george’s house.

things in lmanburg were going great, he had a house and pets and was the minutes man and technically part of the cabinet

feeling guilty, he visits tommy in exile a few times. ranboo could tell something was off with him, with dream. so he wrote letters to tommy, trying to understand what he was going through in exile.

things were good, he built the ice cream shop with fundy

one day ranboo was approached whilst writing in his memory book. quackity tells him that techno is a traitor, the reason things are bad. and that they were gonna go get him and bring him to justice. which ranboo thought meant a trial and such.

the first butcher army meeting. ranboo is confused by it, the bloody butcher outfits.

traitors are bad right? can’t have traitors

the butcher army went to technos place. ranboo shot a few arrows, maybe intentionally missing “he is a person still”

q gets carl and so techno agrees to go with the army

the execution. no trial. techno gets executed but survived.

phil, who saved ranboo from lava, who ranboo liked, gets put on house arrest. phil is mad at the army but ranboo was saying how he didnt think itd just be an execution. so the two are on even/neutral grounds.

ranboo talks to ghostbur, who calls him an aaron burr. they go to the snow, to technos. techno immediately tries to kill ranboo, who was just part of the butcher army. threatens him until he gives back all his armor.

tommy was at technos too. with techno. ranboo is surprised and writes it in his memory book.

ranboo goes back to lmanburg. realizes he just betrayed the entire butcher army by giving the armor back and saying he doesnt know where tommy is.

he kept seeing techno and tommy around lmanburg with dogs for some reason

he was kind of on both sides, techno/tommys and lmanburgs. he doesnt want to choose so he decides to help everyone

the festival plan to try to kill dream. ranboo spent time making festival games (the trident game!)

dream arrives and starts building the wall again

before the festival ranboo met with techno and tommy.

the community house was blown up. gone.

according to dream it was techno and tommy.

dream says hes gonna blow up lmanburg again. techno joins him. blow it all the way to bedrock.

dream calls ranboo out as a traitor in front of everyone. dream has ranboos book. the first memory book. which ranboo had lost a few days prior, and found somewhere he didn’t put it. it had been moved. dream gives it to tubbo

THE PANIC ROOM. a place for him to think. the water outside providing a white noise.

ranboo realizes that he kept choosing sides. he decides to choose people.

ranboo wonders how dream had his memory book

he checks the memory book and just finds the smile. the first smile. “all that was left is a smile”

that book becomes the second memory book.

the destruction of lmanburg on the horizon, they band together to attempt to stop it.

he speaks out. there are lots of people watching him

eye contact. he lashes out at people, as his judgement is impaired

he goes back to the panic room

the dream voice. a voice that is him but sounds like dream. it tells him that by trying to help everyone he has just betrayed everyone. ranboo doesn’t believe the voice because all he did was give techno his armor under pressure, right?

he decides the best thing to do is help the people who have helped him. lmanburg.

but the first memory book is still missing

“it was time for doomsday”

they thought they still had time to save lmanburg. but then they heard explosions and withers.

lmanburg. “it was falling. it was gone”

people were suddenly switching sides and in the chaos of the destruction ranboo hears techno ask “what’s this do not read book”

ranboo runs to techno to get the book, techno has it. techno gave him the book and told him to get out of there, that he has no issue with him. techno showed ranboo mercy when he could have killed him

ranboo doesnt know where he stands with the destruction of lmanburg. so he watched. “watched as lmanburg fell”

he talks with fundy, with quackity, after the fall. fundy seemed off. quackity seemed to forgive ranboo, having read the book and changed his mind.

ranboo didn’t know what to do

“someone came in and asked me if i was okay. phil. phil realized that when he blew up everything” that ranboo was one of the few who lived in lmanburg and had no more home. phil offers him a place to stay, with him and techno

the situation is awkward at first but they get through it

MELLOHI

ranboo hears mellohi. “a disk from somewhere far away” “it was from the panic room”

he goes back to the panic room. “why was i hearing this from all the way over there” and takes out the disk. but then “an old friend came back. the voice.”

but this time with more to say. that he was more of a traitor than he thought. the voice tells him that he has been helping dream the entire time. but that he just didn’t remember that. that he had something to do with the community house and other things on the server.

the voice wasnt dream. it was what he thought was himself trying to fill the gaps with memories.

he denies the voices claims. “you have no proof”

the voice says to mine an obsidian block. behind it are two pieces of tnt.

he still doesnt believe the voice

ranboo is very confused. did he do it? did he not?

the disk war. tommy and tubbo had begun to prepare.

“the disks were very important right?”

“and then i just… lived. for a while.”

“for the first time in a while, happy. and that was good”

and so he decides that he is done. “done with living in fear of the dream voice”

and so he goes to the dream voice

“the dream voice said, hey? you literally have a disk”

“there’s no way i could have a disk right?”

but the voice says that he hid it. he met with dream. so he searched. and he found a disk. the disk. in a chest under his house.

“so then i realized. something’s going on. there must be a reason why i cant remember these visits with dream, right?”

he “had been sleepwalking of sorts but that was a problem for another day”

time for the disk war. everyone thought that both tommy and tubbo would die

(he forgets what happens next? canon? idk)

dream was now in prison.

he decides to call the sleepwalking state enderwalking

everything was good. except the egg, but “we don’t gotta care about that”

ranboo has the “good idea” to visit dream

so he visits the prison. everything went normally. except “dream told me exactly what i didnt want to hear. apparently i had been visiting dream. i had been talking to dream.”

“and apparently i was one of his best friends”

and dream hands him his own memory book. the entire chest was filled with memory books.

“dream disappeared. and the prison started to crumble. and i guess the entire prison visit was just the dream voice but even worse”

so he didnt know what to do “i guess i’ll keep my head down. i didn’t really do much during that time”

but he needed to visit the prison again. “for real. to actually get closure”

he gets in to the lobby. sam asks his questions. and asks when the last time he visited. “and of course i havent visited before. so i said this is my first time.” and sam said “very funny” and tells him he has visited before.

“i had technically visited the prison in the enderwalk. i asked sam to show me the books and they were written in ender”

he looked through the memory books, the three he had now. nothing showed that he had visited before. “there must have been a fourth book”

“i dont know what the fourth book is. and i still dont know where it is to this day”

“the fourth book wasnt a memory book. it was a book of the enderwalk” so he’s searching for it

he tried but nothing worked.

“i guess i was just kind of living. i noticed my tools on lower durability and my beacon had gone missing”

“the best thing to do is just live”

visiting snowchester a lot

done cool things with techno. techno was his friend now

“i was happy”

building the bee n boo, got married for tax reasons.

the news. “after saving michael we got news. tommy had died. tommy was dead.”

the grieving stage.

one day ranboo decided to just relax. and then he sees niki. “what was niki doing at me techno and phils house?”

decided to be “extra stealthy” and watch out the window

techno asks him about anarchy, and ranboo says “that sounds good”

ranboo “had become part of something called the syndicate” which seemed to be for conflict resolution

tells the syndicate tommy died

tommy was alive? “somehow tommy was still alive. how? how is that possible?”

and then something happened. ranboo gets brought to a room. with two shrines and a hallway. with everything people value.

he started to remember. to hear things.

“so dream had a revive book. he was trying to control the server by using everyones loved things against them”

he doesnt remember when punz and everyone came and saved tommy and tubbo from being killed by dream

dream had to be stopped “before he could bring back the villains”

he has michael to protect now

tommy approaches while he is with tubbo. and ranboo agrees with tommy. they build that tower

talks with ghostbur “and he seemed like he didnt want to go, which was interesting”

“so right now im trying to kill dream”

but the enderwalk is still an issue. he needs to figure out how to stop the enderwalk. “it hasnt happened in a while, right?”

the reason he is doing everything is to make sure his adopted son, michael, is safe.

and that is the story so far.

#ranboo #ranboolive #dsmp #rp #dream smp #mcyt

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seijch · 3 years

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ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

#did i have an announcement tag #announcement #also regarding work hsjkdfsd the company i work for didnt give my location the opening for the full time position i wanted #my managers all agree id be promoted if we had it but we dont so i . hee .#anyway um i hope everyones doing well #some of my moots changed urls while i was away and now i have no idea who anyone is #its like when you see your familys friends and theyre like omg youre so big now! i remember when you were a baby and youre like 🧍‍♂️#and you have to play along bc apparently they remember you hskdfsd #im not very funny in this post but i figured id rather be honest considering my lengthy absence #consider this my comeback stage

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lolitaxxis · 4 years

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My therapist recently told me that I needed to write a letter to help me clarify my feelings, so here we go.

I guess I want to start about where my purpose used to be. For literally all of my life my identity was a student with a dream of being a therapist. I wanted to help people. I wanted to know that I COULD help people. This was a safe purgatory time of my life where I felt like all decisions I made were “safe” because they “didn’t count yet”. I guess you could say this is the period of my life where I was really starting to shape myself. I felt free to explore very obvious mistakes because I was young. It was a backwards type of learning; I was finding out exactly what I wanted and who I was by experiencing exactly what I didn’t want and figuring out who I wasn’t.

Things became more focused when I got into grad-school. For the first time in my life, and I mean the VERY first, this was a challenge that I signed up for for MYSELF and not for anyone else. This is also when I met the absolute love my life; subsequently, my love sparked his addiction and my entire world was flipped upside down. I was left shattered with everything I thought I “knew” about myself suddenly meaning absolutely nothing.

My purpose at this time was: Throw yourself into school, make sure he doesn’t die, and drown yourself in literally all of the booze.

Turns out, he was not the love of my life. I am.

The rest of grad-school my purpose was learning how to love myself. That my mistakes didn’t determine my worth, no matter how small. I’m still working on this one. Much like my youth, this was a trial and error process. My biggest error, however, was finding purpose in how much I could be loved by others. By you.

My purpose was to love you as perfectly as I could. To be the best girlfriend. My purpose was to prove to myself that I was worth love. Worth YOUR love because you made me feel like I wasn’t.

For 3 years I searched for love, your love, and I never, ever, found it. And then I started my job. I found my purpose. My perceptive changed. I didn’t need your love, because I had mine. I had enough love for both of us.

At least I thought I did.

My job is hard. My job is like, really really fucking hard. Every time I tell someone this, they always combat it with how hard *their* job is in comparison. I acknowledge that most jobs are difficult, but I don’t think people understand.

Let start with the shifts. 12 hour shifts are inhumane, but I take it anyway because I enjoy having 4 days off. That doesn’t make the 8th, 9th, 10th...11th....hour any easier, though. The duties are nothing extensive, but certainly tedious. A few groups a day, a few individual sessions, a lot of notes, treatment plans, updates, discharges, ect. This is where I have to practice the most self compassion because this is where I get the most feedback and I internalize criticism in a way that determines my credibility. I recently found out this is called Imposter Syndrome... or debilitating perfectionism.

Now lets look at the atmosphere. I am surrounded, constantly, by 160 *newly* sober addicts. For an introvert, that is a nightmare. For an empath, this is literal agony. It is an actual emotional ambush by people who are seemingly in constant anguish. Anxiety, anger, despair, shame, resentment, anger, sadness. You name it, they feel it, and then I hold it for them. Most times I don’t give it back either. I just hold it. I hold it for them because I fucking care, and that is the problem. But that is also my purpose.

For the first time in my life, I was putting my time, effort, heart and soul into my WORK and it surmounted to much more than I could ever imagine. You see, before I had put all of this energy into YOU and I never got anything back. You said you loved me, but I didn’t see it. You said you loved me, but I never felt it. I just heard it. For a long while, you actually had me believing that this inability to consume your love was because I needed too much and was not acknowledging what you were offering.

What did you offer me, truly? For 8 months, I was not even acknowledge as someone you took pride it or even took seriously. For the 8 months to follow that, I was still living in the shadow of the “monster” who preceded me. Whilst all of this was happening, you kept your options open. I was focused on you. Cue the first betrayal. The worst part what that you filled my heart with so much anger and resentment toward another women who did. nothing. wrong. But you lied. As you do, so I learned.. You know you weren’t even the one to reach out to try to fix that? I did. I fixed it. It was not my responsibility to fix. The betrayals didn’t stop there. Always small, as far as I knew. But your attention wandered and your heart was still not invested. Or you were “scared”. Still, my love did not waiver. Finally you gave me a little. The smallest part of you. Forced by me, but still there. Finally. Finally. Finally. I am worth this mans love. I am worthy.

Fuck. YOU.

I had my own life to manage now, not just yours. But I stood to the plate. Do you know that I would go grocery shopping for your house AND my house? Do you need anything from the store? I think you’re out of toothpaste. Look I got us matching loofas!

I would work all day long, go to YOUR house, and then cook YOU dinner because *you* were tired and wanted to play video games. The constant digital divide. All I wanted was you. I wanted your love. I wanted to feel love by you. I wanted it so bad, i would literally ask for it.

You told me you didn’t know how to give me what I wanted.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.

And yet, I persisted. Resilience, stubbornness, you pick.

But then I started my new job. This is why my rant about my job is so important: I learned to stop giving energy to areas of my life that did not give me the same amount of purpose that I felt at work.

These were complete strangers, most of which I can hardly remember their names, that left me with such passion and drive, that I finally realized what I had been missing my entire life and, most importantly, in my relationships. Strangers I had just met showed me immense gratitude for being in their life.

You took me for granted, every day.

So finally, I got tired of it. I got tired of trying all of the time. I got tired for asking to be treated well, to be adored. I got tired of you coming to my recharge place and you being checked out the entire time. I got tired of going to your house and being left alone all night while you were getting loaded with your friends. I got tired of sacrificing my time and energy to have it completely shit on. I got tired of being lied to. Even when I gave you another chance, you couldn’t bare to tell me the truth - so you lost me, again. You wanted to feel better about yourself. I wanted to be cherished. And now I had perceptive.

I did it wrong, though. Not at first. I had the right to leave. I had the right to leave and stay gone, and I should have honored that. But, I loved you. I need you to understand how much I loved you. I wanted to see it work. I had a story in my head about how I wanted things to be. I completed ignored the reality in front of me how things actually were. So i tried again. This was were I went wrong. I was drained. You do not understand how drained I was. I was drained for all of the reasons our relationship was so hard to begin with. I was drained because my job is, like I said, really really hard and insanely emotionally taxing. I was drained because we were in the beginning of a pandemic and I could not make sense of what the world was. I was drained because I was stuck at home with myself and my thoughts and my feelings. You know, the stuff that was always there responding to my reality but I could never acknowledge because I was stuck in what I *wanted* to believe about us.

I never lied when I said I wanted to be alone. I still always want to be alone. I am riddled with anxiety constantly. And not just my normal “generalized anxiety”. This is about to puke, chest pain, cant stop moving, why cant I pay attention or catch my breath, I think I am going to die, anxiety. Plus, I am still managing my depression, which leaves me longing for non-judgmental safety of my bed. I can’t spend time with friends long before my body begins to ache and my skin begins to crawl. This wasn’t just with you. It’s everyone. I’m struggling right now and I’m doing my best to not let it take over my life. You never understood, you just gave it space and then fucked your roommate my friend.

And then I met someone. I made a friend who knew nothing of me, but wanted to know everything about me. I made a friend who felt like I got to step outside of reality for a bit with. I made a friend who didn’t make me feel pressured to be attentive or seductive. Someone just wanted to know me and make me smile. And that was that. That is what I have needed this entire time.

I grew.

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brigitte-penvellyn · 4 years

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MID Reactions (Part 1)

I wrote down my thoughts while playing Midnight in Salem. Spoilers under the cut.

Wait, so we start in Austria?

The thing with clicking on the letter for a typed version of the text is neat. It would be helpful for people who have a hard time reading the letter. And since the graphics are so bad

So Carson is going to be connected to the stuff in Salem?

Of course one of the first things I do is try calling Ned, and then he has the nerve to not pick up

The desk puzzle from the trailer is literally the first puzzle in the game.

And there’s the “It’s locked.” Weird not hearing Lani say it.

And there’s a thief! Time for a chase!

I hate how the task list automatically gets rid of completed items. I loved checking things off.

Nancy just jumped off a bridge like it’s nothing. Girl’s more athletic than I thought.

This forest would be super pretty if the graphics were better.

Darn it Deirdre! Your call scared the thief away!

What is with this guy and smoke bombs?

Deirdre has a point about your questions, Nancy. They can be a a little invasive.

The Parrys are on a safari? Must have taken a page from “The Carson Drew Book of Not Being Around When Your Daughter is Accused of Arson”

There’s gotta be a significant reason for all these candles around

Who’s the girl with Ned? Are Ned and Nancy still dating?

I go outside and every time I turn around Deirdre is RIGHT. THERE. It’s creepy.

Why have all these background characters when you cant even properly animate the main ones? (Though I do like how they add to the environment. It doesn’t feel like a ghost town like in some other games *cough*SAW*cough*)

I don’t like the new style of subtitles. (It makes it really hard to screenshot conversations.)

What kind of office only locks from the outside?

I like the idea behind the lockpicking, but the controls were laggy making it harder than it should’ve been. Maybe it’s just my computer.

The character animations are. So. Bad.

I’m really curious about Teegan’s history with Olivia.

Talking to Deirdre about music? Love it.

The balance with the music is off. It drowns out the talking sometimes.

FRANK IS CALLING!!!!

The Francy is strong.

And Joe is still Joe.

GHOST SIGHTING!

So Dierdre called Ned Nancy’s boyfriend. They’re still dating. I sense relationship drama coming.

Nightmare! A Nancy Drew game staple.

THEY’RE HERE! THE HARDY BOYS ARE HERE!

Cooking!

The Hardys are starting a detective agency! And they want Nancy to be a partner!

The previous fire Mei was in was when she was nine and severely injured her. Man, this town is judgemental for automatically assuming it was her based on that.

Alicia is totally throwing shade on Nancy’s relationship.

Alicia, how old are you? Why are you talking about Jason like that? It’s weird.

Is Alicia implying she has a bit of a thing with Carson?

Glad Nancy is just as frustrated as I am with Ned not picking up his phone

I really enjoy mixing these herbal remedies

Holy cow this game gets real dark with the history of the witch trials

Ok this is getting long so I’ll continue in another post

#mid spoilers #mid #midnight in salem #nancy drew #nancy drew games #clue crew #playthrough

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umbillicalnoose · 5 years

Note

i think that you would think im pretty and would like my poetry and i want to share it with you. im shy.

to be honest, im very apathetic these days. im not the nice “cutesy baby flower petal boy” i used to be. a lot has happened & im bitter & sullen & all in all, a pretty shitty friend/person to know. i used to possess some redeeming qualities, believe it or not, even if they were construed by the subconscious in an attempt to be likeable - a facade, even tho its only a facade, is still tangible, still there, is still something, even if not authentic. is poorer character forgivable in the name of presenting more authentically? but nah. that makes it sound like im putting effort into being a better person, which im not. im just sort of fried & done. its been a very long time since i played the role i built for myself on here of the “small fawn boy who wants to help girls” lmaooo. how embarrassing. altho, i was just a kid, & i guess, if you had a tumblr as a teenager, you went thru some cringe (i know the use of that word has fallen in on itself & adopted its own definition but for lack of a better one) ass phases, whether it was kinning or malingering mental illness or oh fucking christ, all that gender bullshit, etc etc. from what ive observed, tho, loosely following kids im still casually friends with that i met on here, i think we’ve all managed to Grow The Fuck Up, at least a little. most of us have jobs or r in school or have partners - growing up & moving on is a very surreal experience to watch/go thru. im moving at my own pace & ive accepted that - im still currently using & starving myself & concocting a suicide plan every day but at least i use clean needles as much as possible, i actively & honestly do strive for the bare minimum calorically, & um able to work with the mentality of “well ill have this when i need it but todays not that day” a lot more readily, in relation to suicide shit. ive finally found a therapist who Really Gets It, is a frontrunner internationally on ritual & extreme abuse & mind control. its pretty incredible what a few years with a good therapist can do. anyways. im sorry, i know you didnt ask for all this & im not even sure why i divulged. i guess, what tipped me off, was your attempt at sounsing “cute” - dude, cut that shit out, i promise youll be a lot better off. & i know everyone interchanges aspects of their personality based on who theyre talking to/who they percieve themselves to be talking to, but i feel like not a lot of people give enough credence to the internet & its hand in shaping/molding young people, kids, vulnerable dumbasses, especially tumblr (tho, i get that its a relatively new phenomenon) - u get a bunch of the “weird”, “alternative”, ““ostracized” kids together on a website, of course its gonna nurture a culture of hypervalidatoon & pretending to be sick in order to fit in to the point that its not an act anymore & exacerbation of symptoms & basically, just sucking each others dicks, sitting in ur own shit, & never ending coddling. & then, you have the older group of kids, who have played this game before but instead of helping or ignoring the Dumbshit kids, they indulge their own normally-buried-but-unleashed-by-internet-anonymity sadism/human instinct to just be fucking dicks & so now you have this vicious cycle of anger & hatred & fucking melodrama up the urethra. im sorry, i know im comig off as/am being harsh but god fuckin dammit yknow? also, this isnt directed at you, specifically, more of a generalized thing, @ myself included. so uh. i mean, if u still wanna share it with me after reading all this, id be happy to read ur poetry. i used to be over the top nice & then reverted to Major Asshole & am now trying to find that sweet middle spot - honoring & allowing myself to share my pain without putting it on others. which is really hard!! cuz becoming a Dick was difficult in that it forced me to be more honest with my true self & as such, more vulnerable - now in trying to become Kinda Nice again because despite being a pulsating scrotom, ive had the intense desire for friendship & human interaction, while simultaneously doing things that i was consciously aware was pushing others away - but then, if i pretend to be nice, where does that authenticity i worked for & was so scared of go? & i dont mean telling someone their new haircut looks nice even when it doesnt - thats just not being a dick. but i guess, those r the normal trials & tribulations of any relationship & adolescent developing identity. which is weird too - dealing with “normal” issues, i mean. whats the point if your life/limbs/breaking point arent at risk? whats the point when your best friends already dead. im sick of people calling "survivors” (despise that word, so fucking female-originated & overdramatic) “brave” & “strong” - surviving is not brave or strong. its just survival. you wouldnt call an animal brave for running for its life from a predator but you would call a dog courageous for going into a burning building to save its owner. premeditated action on the notion that you are probably going to be hurt is brave. being subjected to pain with no choice is not. theres no “silver lining” or anything “good” to be drawn from it either - sure it may have made x a more compassionate person or made y more introspective & gentle but you know what would have been even fucking better??? if the shit hadnt happened in the first place! let x be an asshole & y be self absorbed - the “benefits”, so to speak, do not outweigh the cost, not by a long fucking shot. its not only patronizing to hear garbage like that, but a slap in the face to know that anyone could possibly see anything good coming from that nightmare & that the characteristics, good or bad, you developed either in response to or as a result of, are worth praise. dont tell me im strong for doing what i had to to escape a torture chamber - tell me im perseverant for studying my ass off & passing that test last week. in the words of one of my dearest & most fucking brilliant friends, “pain doesnt owe me/you purpose - the need to intellectualize & assign meaning to pain & death is not only futile, but harmful.” & honestly, i think that it stems from weakness (in most cases - i realize theres a plethora of other reasons such as those who r just desperate for something to hold on to or r hyperintellectual & analytical or who have been pressured by external “support” systems to find the “good” etc etc) - while the majority of people view the person who “can find the good in everything” (strictly speaking only in relation to trauma/tragedy here & more in denunciation of those that celebrate this trait as opposed to vilifying “survivors” who respond this way, though in my experience, its very very very rarely the “survivor” that perpetrates this ideology ) as strong, i sort of see it as a weakness - their inability to sit with & absorb their own pain or that of others is so strong that not only do they have to frantically pull rainbows out of the teeth of a meat cleaver, they also have to exist within this strange (tho, not malicious - more subconscious) superiority complex. like, nah, dude, some times shit is just awful. you cant tell me anything fucking good came out of a four year old girl being kidnapped, gangraped, & tortured for two years, before being impaled & left to die on a stake. her mom opened a non profit organization? oh well thank fucking god for that!!! those that believe the latter to be more “enlightened” or whatever the fuck r the same people who say shit like “dying is easy - living is harder” & i get that that its supposed to be interpreted metaphorically for the most part - giving up is easy, trying isnt (which also.....isnt true??? admitting defeat & fully accepting the fact that ur fucking helpless is beyond hard lmao???) - but pretend youre somewhere, anywhere outside ur sunny little fucking yoga studio full of white women whos biggest issues r the pta & johnny whos failing math, & lets say your life is in real, imminent danger, a gun is to your head & i want you to not scream or cry or beg for ur life since dying is “easier”. if dying is so easy, why do the majority of ppl cling to it with such desperation - why is suicide illegal? why do some ppl go thru 100s of chemo treatments even tho the doctors say theyre just prolonging the inevitable, ppl who cut off a diseased arm so it wont spread, those who walk dozens of miles every day for food & water, etc? & i know & understand the survival instinct better than anyone, even when i wanted to die more than anything, my natural instincts would kick in with no conscious neural input & id do what i had to do. im not condemning those who cling to life (ok - a little. ur wasting resources out of ur own fear. but i also realize thats just me being a Fucking Asshole As Always cuz technically, im doing the same thing tho its more due to lack of opportunity rather than fear. i just think, societally, death should be more normalized, discussed, & not made out to be so unknown & scary), instead just reprimanding those who say shit like that (inspirational facebook quotes). especially cuz most of the ppl who do spew that shit have never gone thru anything even remotely difficult - their worst nightmare is a Big Scary Black Man grabbing them on the street, mugging them, & touching their tits. & i also know that these stupid ass sayings are to be applied to bullshit like exercise & fitness (“no pain no gain” is another one of my Favorites) & not fucking torture or even just ur run of the mill rape, even that would probably smash the rose tinted banana republic shades off their beverly hills tanned faces. but ive heard the no pain no gain one a handful of times in the last few weeks, specifically from doctors performing procedures in preparation for my bottom surgery. & i know its supposed to be encouraging & they have no way of knowing, but its just like, buddy, u have no idea who youre fucking talking to. & im starting to understand what THEY mean when they say it - pain with a reward is infinitely more tolerable than pain just for the sake of pain; like, a tattoo, it hurts, but u know, when its done, its gonna be sick as fuck. when u r able to fall back on the idea that its for something u rlly want, its A Lot easier to handle as opposed to pain thats Just Pain - theres no reward for it except, i guess, that the more u experience it, the closer u r to the end of it lmao. i mean, i still hate when ppl say it cuz for most of my life, pain was just pain, & the “reward” was the opportunity to go home at the end & so whenever ppl say that, my mind just immediately resorts back to that & im just like haha fuck u. but im trying to remember my experiences r definitely not universal & im starting to sorta understand what they mean i think. but, flipping gears here, & going back to the sentiment of “everything happens for a reason”, the base philosophy of psuedo deep Fuckwads - a girls dad didnt fuck her “for a reason”, everything doesnt happen “for a reason”. like ok, hypothetically, the kid he impregnated her with & that she was forced to have at 12 may surpass all odds & not become a homeless junkie & instead become a world renowned doctor who finds the cure for cancer. but she wasnt raped repeatedly from the age of six for that “reason”, no matter what anyone says & honestly, the liberation of the masses does not justify the suffering of one, especially a child. in my eyes at least. but again, im a bitter asshole. sorry i just Went The Fuck Off here oh my god.....if u read all this, thanks, pal. if not, thats cool too. but yea, send me ur stuff, id totally be down to read it. as for me potentially thinking ur cute, i have to look at my disgusting shitstain of a “face” every goddamn day so everyone else to me is fuckin aphrodite. but im also tryin to not put so much worth into physical appearance- its not something that should be complimented cuz its just smth a person was born with which is the same reason it shouldnt be insulted. this is gonna sound gay & stupid but i personally find that a persons essence & personality really permeates. you can meet someone who, objectively, isnt all that great looking, but once u get to know them, u really see their beauty - how the sun catches in their hair, their dilated pupils looking up at u from under long eyelashes in the dark, the birthmark on their right shoulder that they despise but that is so Them, the gap in their teeth, etc. & idk how to phrase this without it sounding like “well ur ugly but at least ur a good person”, cuz that only reiterates the societally indoctrinated emphasis on appearance & my kneejerk reaction to assure the person in question that thats not what im saying is only another result of that!!! its inescapable!!! but no, really, its not just a matter of “its on the inside that counts” - physically, they change or maybe, actually this is more likely, when i first meet them, my “default” eyes r just looking for features that i know im immediately attracted to (tall, blonde, sickly as in sunken eyes sticklike pale but still looks like she could & will beat the shit out of me) but as i fall in love or get to know them better, my eyes adjust & i notice & adore the beauty that was there all along. so uh. idk if ill think ur “cute”. but probably, yes, ill think ur an angel.

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dcwastelands · 5 years

Text

For Honor Event - Part 2- July 20 2019

Eevelion:

An hour, give or take, and a half dozen jugs of water, either quaffed or poured directly on people, later, and everyone had mostly recovered from their ordeals in the drinking contest. With today's contestants back in fighting form Gaius, the ghost, mounted their steed and began the trot toward their next battleground, grabbing a flagpole out of the ground as they marched "COME CHAMPIONS! FOR WE NEAR THE END, THY FINAL CHALLENGE AWAITS!"

Gigi:

Well Braces' arm was feeling a little better, still he didn't know how exactly to feel about being here, maybe it hadn't been such a great idea to come descend from heaven when it was none of his business and was still none of his business ever since he died. Was he doing more harm than good, being here in such a well, rusty state?

He followed onward, only hoping this ghost would be able to be taken out with a fair amount of ease.

Lolo had been on the wayside for most of these matches; and she still wasn't sure how she felt about direct interaction quite yet. She clutched flounce's carrying strap worriedly, hoping this wouldn't be the day she had to use it and if she did....she wouldn't make a fool of herself.

Sera:

Spanx walked with everyone toward the final location. One event left. She hoped it was something she was good at whatever it was.

Leona:

Considering how terrible his luck had been up to now, this last event couldnt be too bad. It seemed like he got the worst out of the way already. And despite being wet, things were almost over. With a grunt, he'd saunter over to the next event.

Zaku:

Obi walks alongside with everyone, and hey, the alcohol to body size distribution thing was true. Ain't that some shit? But hey, looks like they were a step towards completing these trials.

Eevelion:

The ghost would lead his opponents to the bridge over the stream, the prop castle standing on the other side. Bringing his horse to a stop in the middle of the bridge he would turn towards the group and firmly stab the flag into the stone before raising his lance and loudly proclaiming “HERE THIS KNIGHT MAKES HIS FINAL STAND, I DECLARE THAT I WILL NOT ALLOW ANYONE TO PASS THIS BRIDGE, AND WELCOME ALL WHO WOULD CHALLENGE MY CLAIM, MAKE THY GREATEST ATTEMPT TO PASS ME AND SEIZE THIS FINAL VICTORY, OR BE THROWN OFF IN SHAME!”

Eevelion:

Crown bounced up to the front of the bridge, doing a few stretches, she hadn't participated in anything to this point and wanted to at least be there for the finale. She'd wait for everyone to be ready before bounding onto the stone tiles of the bridge ahead of everyone else.

Sera:

Spanx moved forward, carefully keeping an eye on the others, her shield raised. She didn't plan to get across herself, but maybe she could help someone else in that department.

Gigi:

Lolo made a small move forward; Braces ending up farther out than he wanted to be; he'd have to take on the ghost at this distance, wouldn't he....

Leona:

Gakuran was hesitant to charge out front. So he played it safe and only took a few steps. Considering their current position, he might ant to pace himself.

Zaku:

Obi took his first steps towards the bridge and wow was this thing shorter or was he just tall? Definitely the second option. But hey, slow and steady wins the race. Just be careful out there, Crown child.

Eevelion:

The ghost chuckled to himself as his opponents set foot on the bridge, he'd rear his horse back before charging forward, knocking Crown to the side before taking his lance and swinging it around him, knocking Braces and Crown away from him.

Gigi:

And as expected Braces got knocked back; he tried to use the pole he still had to get a swipe at the steed's legs but...it didn't really do much. He scurried off forward, trying to get back to the center some. He might suck but he wasn't going to lose.

Lolo, on the other hand, noticed the ghost was coming in close and decided to....retreat immediately. Not yet.

Sera:

The ghost stops just before hitting Spanx. She lets her shield down a bit and charges forward, giving the ghost a nice tap with her shield hoping to slow him down a bit and catch up to the others to help them get the rest of the way home.

Eevelion:

Crown, having taken a few hits and being nearly thrown off, runs back to the center of the bridge to give herself some defense in case the ghost gets her again. Meanwhile, the ghost having taken a few hits against himself notices the obvious threat of the girl running ahead of the pack, twirling his lance to hit back his attackers before turning and moving up towards her as much as he could.

Leona:

Still recovering from the drinking, pre and post event made him a bit sluggish. He couldn't manage a good hit but at the very least kept it distracted. "The whole points just out running it right?" He questioned near Lolo and Obi. "If we keep its attention maybe we can win." Before being pushed back a bit. Gakuran braces himself to be pushed back and recovers for a follow up.

Zaku:

Well, not like the archangel was expecting some kind of sparring. Blocking with Guinness, the giant of an angel is knocked back, nearing the edge. Hearing Gakuran's suggestion, he nods in response. "Just keep it busy, yeah? Sounds good to me."

Gigi:

Braces hopes moving toward crown and letting the ghost be preoccupied with someone else while he moves unassumingly works. He's surprisingly quiet as he makes the one slow, solitary movement.

Meanwhile, Lolo is hiding behind the angels yet, still unsure if she wants to actually face off against it herself. Flouce is extended to its full, shining form now...just in case. "I think so? It works as far as a strategy goes, I guess..."

Sera:

Knowing she probably could take another one of those hits, and that he can effortless knock everyone down if we all got too close, Spanx decides to move forward instead. She's gotta make sure she can be enough of a distraction for the guys ahead when they get a bit closer.

Gigi:

And Lolo moves so she's right behind the ghost, almost, clutching Flounce nervously. She couldn't do much but buying time? That she could do.

Braces was pretty sure he was in eyeshot of the ghost now, and pressed onward.

Leona:

Gakuran would do his best to tank. His natural roll, as he expected his offense to be lacking in this offense. He was proven right when he attempted another attack and failed. "Whatever you two up there do, don't stop running!"

Eevelion:

The ghost would push back his attackers once more before speeding after Crown, who was running as fast as she could to stay as far away from the ghost as possible, the ghost gives an annoyed grunt as she managed to just stay outside of his reach.

Zaku:

Giving Guinness a good rev, Obi swipes at the ghost.

Aaaand is subsequently knocked back. Welp, he felt good about that hit nonetheless.

Gigi:

Lolo got pushed back by the ghost strike that wasn't targeted at her so much, but she was behind the angel that was targeted and she tried to brace the hit as best as she could with the pole end of Flounce. She moved beside Gakuran accordingly, stopping to stoop the weapon's pole on her thigh as she caught her breath. geez

Sera:

The ghost wizzed passed Spanx and she knew this was her last opportunity to slow him down some. She ran into him with her shield and connected.

Zaku:

Regaining movement, Obi moved towards Gakuran and Lolo, looking ahead to Crown sprinting towards the other side of the birdge. God speed, dotter. God speed.

Leona:

Having been pushed back into Lolo was a set back, but didn't stop him. He moved forward confident they had at least won. Even if he hadn't been able to do much.

Eevelion:

As Crown continued to sprint down the bridge the ghost chased her down like a bat out of hell, he would have caught up with her, had it not been for Spanx's attack, the last in a long line of the contenders doing everything they could to slow him, throwing off their mounts speed by just a hair, a hair that allowed Crown to just manage to reach the finish line. She would throw her hands up in triumph as the ghost planted their lance into the ground in defeat and dismounted.

Gigi:

Braces was just barely behind Crown; but it didn't matter, what was done was done, and he gave a sigh of relief as he himself passed the finish line, raising a fist up at chest level.

Lolo took a few steps forward before sitting down; this was it, the ghost was dismounted. There wasn't much more to really do, was there?

Zaku:

Looking towards the other side of the bridge, Obi smiled warmly as he looked over at the young blonde, hands raised in victory. That's his godkiddo right there.

Leona:

"Good Job you two" Remarked Gakuran to Lolo & Obi. "Crown won it for us but our team work cant be ignored." He even gave an acknowledging nod toward Spanx whom got the final winning blow. But now there was nothing to do but wait and see the result.

Sera:

Spanx shot up in excitement and shouted, "Good job Crown!! I knew you could make it!!"

Gigi:

She gave a small laugh. "Yeah....I guess so." Maybe that was all she had to do, really.

Eevelion:

Crown met Brace's request for a fistbump with a palm to his knuckles, not really supposed to high-five a fistbump but she was distracted, she couldn't believe she got to take part in her first knight games, and even more, she won! That starstruck look on her face only temporarily being broken by the ghost giving off light. The ghost would address the others “WELL DONE CHAMPIONS, FOR VICTORY OR DEFEAT, THOU HATH GIVEN THIS OLD KNIGHT ONE FINAL CHANCE TO TAKE TO THE FIELD AND CLAIM HONOR, FOR THAT I THANK THEE.” He'd fiddle with his helmet some before taking it off, revealing a perfectly round stark black head with round beady yellow eyes “IT'S STRANGE, WITH THIS I FEEL, COMPLETE. He'd look around at the party “ONCE MORE I THANK THEE ALL FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, I FEEL AS IF I AM FINALLY READY TO MOVE ON.” As he said this his body started to fade into motes of light that blew away on the breeze, leaving behind only his lance planted into the bridge.

Zaku:

Huh...that was a feeling that Obi hadn't felt in a while. A job well done. No excessive fighting, no property damage, just getting work done. He gives a small salute to the knight as he dissipates.

"Rest easy."

Gigi:

He didn't even really care that the bump was as halfhearted as it was because....well, it had been a while since he'd seen something like this.

A peaceful passing.

It was such a simple thing, really, but ...he felt his eyes grow warm, and a smile snuck up on him.

"Fare the well, sir gaius." Braces walked over slowly as the light settled.

He planted his own pole nearby, hand lingering on it.

Gigi:

Lolo never really had the opportunity to see something like this; she was still so used to a lot of the blowy-uppy fighty parts of the whole angels and ghosts thing. She knew this sort of thing happened, but theory and practice are a whole other thing....and while the explosions were really cool and all this was...she felt a certain way. She barely knew this ghost, but it ...it felt good to just watch him leave with simple defeat.

She'd never seen a ren faire. How long had he been there before they came? How long had he waited?

She just sat and watched, still on the ground.

"You're welcome," She said, ever so quietly.

Sera:

Spanx released a big sigh of relief while watching the ghost dissipate. He was nice, and she was relieved that they were successful without having to resort to violence. Well her back would disagree on that point.

Eevelion:

Crown would gaze at the ghost's remains as they drifted away before giving a small bow and saying “Rest in peace, good sir knight.” Meanwhile it would seem the handlers had commandeered the van, having parked it at the start of the bridge, honking the horn to signal everyone to get in. Once everyone was gathered around the handler that gave the briefing would congratulate them all “Well done everyone, we're glad to see repenting the ghost went off with... I think only one broken bone? Also possibly some liver damage, you can get that checked when we get back to Psi if you're worried. Anyways, hopefully this was a valuable experience to you all. Now, are we good to get going or does anyone have to do something before we move?” The driver handler tapped their foot on the pedal impatiently, ready to head back to Psi.

Leona:

Content with a job well done, Gakuran gave his silent goodbye to the ghost. Moving back to join the Handlers in the van. He was ready to take a nice relaxing nap and unwind from a long day getting beat.

Gigi:

Damn, that was right, his arm still was sort of borked up. Thankfully he didn't have to do much in the last leg, but now that all the adrenaline was starting to wear off, yeah that hurt. "Maybe?" He gave a bit of a groan as he sat down. Honestly he was hoping he could walk it off, he's dealt with worse dealing with ghosts anyway.....

Lolo took a while getting up and getting Flounce packed up, but as she was running back she gave one final glance ove rher head before finally taking a seat.

"Does that happen a lot?"

Zaku:

He nods in response to the driver's ready to go, waiting for everyone to head in before he could take his seat. He does however give a thumbs up towards Spanx and gives his god daughter a ruffle of the head. "You all did good out there."

Sera:

"Thanks Obi, that means a lot coming from you." She began to shuffle back into the car, still stretching her aching muscles.

Zaku:

Reassuring hand on shoulder for Spanx. Ah, the after ghost fight aches. Granted for Obi that would be couple with a few good city blocks being decimated, but the sympathy is shared. He's an oldboy after all. But hey, she did a good job.

Eevelion:

With everyone seemingly finished up for the day the handler closed the van door and hopped into the passenger seat, shuttling the party back to Psi to rest after a job well done.

#dcwastelands #dcwlogs #dcw angel event

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catte-bard · 5 years

Note

✂ and also ✞ bel as a mom sometime into the future

send me a symbol and i will write a drabble about my muse from the point of view of…

✂ - … Someone whodislikes my muse

Why her? Why some wretch whosides with a land of savages? What made her so special that his lord was so fascinated by her? What made her sodeserving of his attention?

It took Asahi an incredible amount ofself-control not to glare at the Warrior as she and her friends led him throughYanxia. How much longer did he have to play this game? How much longer did hehave to suffer her presence?

I hate you so much. He thought as thewoman turned to say something to him. Beaming and unaware of the animosityburning deep within him.

Asahi forced a smile back.

He could be done with this now. He couldend the constant thorn in the Empire’s side right now. All he had to do wastwist his blade into her back. And then he’d return to his radiant lord withher head as a trophy.

Several times he felt tempted. His handoften drifting to rest on the pommel of his sword.

Nay.

That is not what Lord Zenos had asked ofhim. And he did not want his lord to be disappointed in him. So for now hewould play nice. For now, he would smile like a fool despite the disgust thatboiled within whenever he looked at the woman.

Just you wait “Warrior of Light”. Therewill be a reckoning.

And when that time came, he would take great delight in seeingthis so called hero fall under his liege’s blade.

✞ - Any version ofmy muse (asker specifies)

(tbh I do have ideas for her kids if I do write her as having any, just no set names yet.)

“—walked through thedark forest for a long time until they came across a cave.”

It was a peaceful evening and it was pouring down outside.The sound of rain drummed dully upon the roof from within. A small draft sweptthrough the house bringing a chill with it. And so the hearth burnedbrightly.

Bellona sat curled up in one of the chairs near thefireplace. Her daughter sat in her lap, reading aloud from the book they heldtogether. It was a quiet day. And sound of rainfall outside was calming.

The Miqo’te closed her eyes and let her head rest againstthe soft cushion back of the chair. Tempted to allow herself to doze off for afew moments. Listening to the soothing rainfall and the sound of her daughter readingaloud.

However, at the abrupt stop of reading, Bellona opened her eyes again. She could hear her girl stumbling over a word, strugglingto pronounce it.

“Mama.” She felt a tap on her leg and lookeddown. “How do you say this one?”

“Hm?” Bellona peered down at the book, noting the place herlittle finger was pointing at. “Ominous.” She told and had her repeat back afew times.

“Ominous.” The girl said, tasting the new word. Then tilted herhead up at her mother, big grey eyes inquisitive. “What does that mean?Ominous?”

Bellona tilted her head with a hum. “Ominous is when…” Shebegan as she tried to think of the best way to explain it to a six-year child.“When something is really scary, and it makes you feel uncomfortable.”

A slow thoughtful nod.“So the wardrobe in my room? It’s onim—ominous?”

‘Yes, I suppose so.” Bellona did her best to hide an amused smile and pulled the childtight against her chest. “Are those mean nasty voidsent digging around in yourwardrobe again, little one?” She pressed her lips atop her soft white hair. “Whenyour papa gets home, we’ll have him go in there and scare them away again.Okay?”

“Okay!” The little girl piped, pleased with that solution.

And Bellona chuckled, resting her chin atop her head. “Tellme what your book about.”

The tome had been a gift from Alphinaud if sherecalled correctly. He often offered to mind the youth for Bellona, and itseemed she had become fascinated with a few of the tomes her “Uncle Alphy” kept.

“It’s about a bunch of people who go adventures and fightmonsters!” the girl beamed. “Like you and papa did! And they’re about to go into a giant’s cave.”

She looked back down at her book. Then after a moment, she cants her head and asks. “Mama,will you tell me one of you and papa’s adventuring stories?”

The former warrior could only softly sigh at that. Everthe curious little thing. Though she supposed it couldn’t be helped. The childwas constantly surrounded by those who would often sing of her parents’ praises.

And hints of tales of daring adventures would naturallycatch any child’s attention. But there were simply some things Bellona didn’tlike to recall. And certainly didn’t want to repeat to her young daughter. Somany trials and tribulations gone through…So much tragedy.

Simply not proper stories for one so young.

“Perhaps when you are older. Some of them might be too scaryfor you.” She says after a long moment of consideration.

Her daughter pouted up at her. “I won’t get scared! Ipromise!”

“But you will. I know because I got scared plenty of times livingthose moments.” Bellona told her as she nuzzled the top of her head.Then before, there could be any more insistence, changed the subject. “How aboutyou read more of your story to me, okay?”

The girl gave her another pout but seemed happy to oblige inher request. Looking back down at her book, she took a moment to find her placebefore beginning to read aloud once more.

Bellona smiled and held her close,peering down so she could follow along with her daughter’s voice. Years ago, the woman would have laughed in anyone’s face whotold her she would be a good mother. The notion would have seemed ridiculous atthe time. Her life had been one rife with danger and she never thought herself fit enough to be the mothering type.

Oh how things change.

So happy and at peace, there were very few things shecherished more than moments like these. Holding her daughter close, silentlypromising to herself that she’d protect the girl from anything. Silentlypromising that there’d never be anything that would make her feel the samesorrows she once felt.

The woman sighed contently, placing another peck atop her daughter’s hair.

She deserved a happy life. And Bellona would do everything she could to ensure such.

#answered asks #writing

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ahoardoffic · 6 years

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Summaries!

@tsfanart did a post of summaries of upcoming projects which you can find Here, and if you haven’t checked them out go do it, they are an amazing writer!

And while I cant promise a post a day I do have quite a few works that im working on and it will help me keep them (roughly) in order!

Alrighty here we go!

Patton-Cake

No pairing | No AU | Humor | No Warnings

Logan knows many things, he is Logic, so naturally he would be comprised of everything that Thomas had ever learned, so that he could best reason out what the appropriate course of action to take would be. Therefore, his gaps in knowledge were few and far between, and when he discovered a specific gap, he worked his hardest to close it as soon as possible (e.g. contemporary slang words) However there was one thing that was a perpetual mystery to him.

Patton-Cake.

Logan tries his best to understand the rules of Patton-Cake using the mightiest tool in his arsenal...

Spreadsheets

Letters To No One

LAMP | No AU | Hurt/Comfort | Self-Doubt, Panic Attack

Now that he was accepted by the others, he really shouldn’t keep writing to them, really he could just walk to Patton’s room and talk to him about the day. And it wasn’t like he was going to actually send these to the others, that would just be awkward. But he couldn’t bring himself to throw away the letters either, so he just had drawers and drawers of unsent letters stashed away.

Virgil write letters to the others sides every day but he keeps them hidden, until one day when, hoping to drive a wedge between Virgil and the others, Deceit takes them and leaves them out for the other to find.

Silence is Static

i posted the first part over here but I am expanding it!

Platonic LAMP | No AU | Angst, Hurt/comfort | Forced Mutism

The static was screaming now, the crackling tearing at him ripping into his very core, and Roman clamped his hands over his ears, the pen clattering against the table, he wanted it to stop but the static was inside him now and there was nothing else only static and its crawling up his arms, up his legs and wrapping around his heart, and-

Nothing

The second part of the Silence is Golden series, Roman hit a creative block and can’t contact or speak to anyone

Into the Shadows Deep

Romantic Logicality, Familial Moxiety | Dark Forest AU | Angst, Hurt/comfort | Mentions of Past Neglect/Abuse, Mild Gore

They say there’s a monster, and he lives with a witch and his husband. They say that if anyone tries to find the Witch and his Monster the husband will steal their hearts, and leave the corpses for the crows.

Virgil run to the dark forest, where he does find the monsters that people tell stories about, but he also finds a home.

The Forgotten Path

Romantic Logicality | Dark Forest AU | Slice of Life | Memory Loss

Logan had been lost for what seemed like weeks, the trees in around him never seemed to change, seemed to be exact copies down to the very leaves, was he even going anywhere? Where had he come from? Which way was home? Did he have a home? He didn’t know, all he could remember was the trees, and the path, barely visible beneath the undergrowth. He was following the path, right? That seemed like the logical conclusion.

He was following the path, and it was leading him where he needed to go.

Prequel to Into the Shadows Deep where Logan meets Roman, stumbles upon Patton, becomes a Witch, and makes a deal with The Forest. Not necessarily in that order

Darkest Suns

Pre-LAMP | Space fairing AU | Hurt/Comfort | Mentions of Past Neglect/Abuse

People only ever ended up this far out into the edges of recorded space for two reason, they were running to something, or they were running away. Virgil was one of the latter. As soon as he was able to scramble some funds for an off planet shuttle, he was gone. He was gone, and he never looked back, bouncing from one trading hub to another, doing odd jobs in exchange for a ride, and that was how he ended up here, far far beyond the reach of anyone from his past.

Virgil, running from his past ends up at a science outpost near the edge of where anyone has explored, and maybe finds a home in the process.

Staged Almost like a Play

No Pairing | No AU | Angst | Self deprecation, Derealization

There were days where just being who the others expected him to be became the toughest role he had ever performed. Get up, smile, answer questions with canned responses rehearsed over and over until even he can’t tell the difference. Flourish here, banter there, make excuses and bow. Exit stage left.

Roman struggles with the distance between who the others know and expect, and who he actually is

My Favorite Word is We

LAMP | No Au | Hurt/Comfort | Self depreciation

Virgil isn’t sure of anything, he knows that they’ve said they accepted him, but what are the limits? Where are the boundaries? The rules? How is he supposed to find these things out if they wont tell him! Its not like he wants to experiment he already feels like he’s walking on eggshells, and he really hates this game, he hates this game of trial and error. He thought these people were supposed to be nicer? Weren’t they?

Post Accepting Anxiety Virgil tries to figure out what the rules to living with the sides are, trying to figure out what’s acceptable by blindly feeling out what the others are doing.

It Was Only a Simple Touch

LAMP | No AU | Hurt/Comfort | Touch Starved Patton

Patton was fine really, the others sides weren’t very touchy, and he didn’t want to push anyone outside of their comfort zone, especially not Virgil who was just really opening up to them. So he just bundled up under layer of blankets and ignored how much his skin itched and crawled when he got too close to the others.

Patton is touch starved, but its not a big deal, really, he’s doing just fine. (Its not. Cuddles happen)

Keep Me in your Memory

Logicality | Human AU | Angst | Past Character Death

The letter had become a touchstone for him, a way to center himself when the entire world seemed against him. He had it long since memorized but would still take it out whenever the names got too much, robot, heartless, ice queen, stuck up, bastard. Reading the lines over and over again letting, genius, wonderful, inspiring, caring, brilliant, dull the sting. After all his was the only opinion that truly mattered, because Patton was the only one who had actually known Logan.

Logan’s childhood friend Patton had been killed in a car accident two years ago. Logan clings to the last letter Patton had sent him as he tries to make his way through High School

#masterpost

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riskeith · 3 years

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cluna hi i’m such a dumbass. i was waiting for your response for days missing you but then i realized you DID respond and i just didn’t see it. yikes. anyway HI!

guess what? i started playing genshin impact and i LOVE it. i’ve only played a couple hours though and i’m so surprised at how well it works on mobile. sadly i only have a macbook so i can’t play on my computer but WOW! as i played i hardly noticed it was a mobile game it’s super fleshed out. the world is insanely beautiful. i’m still on the prequel though but god i’m super excited to see how the game will pan out. once again, your rec is amazing and i love you for it.

dude it’s still early so take a long and nice break first before considering studying!! she-ra was so beautiful they handled that show so perfectly... 🥺 are you gonna watch any other shows? also do you have any plans for christmas and new years?

9-10 haha! that’s like... late spring for us. lucky you i’m so jealous though. but no i get you, warmth can sometimes be too overwhelming that sucks. i think summer is mostly loved bc the freedom and the ~good vibes~. spring and fall are superior. they are beautiful n the leaves look beautiful.

i did listen to one ep last night while i took a late night walk!! that was literally everything i was searching for!! i listen to true crime pods mostly in my language (they r very developed n good) but i search a lot for english ones too bc those tend to have more detailed information and varied cases so this one was perfect!!!!!! plus it’s australian so there’s even more new cases to discuss. i love the australian accent too it’s so beautiful... so i’ll definitely be listening more. ty! also enjoy conan 🥺🥺🥺 hes the childhood bae 🥺🥺🥺

how many years will you be in uni? is it the normal 3-5 years? if so, you better get those goodies and experience campus to its full potential 🔪 especially during fall!!

THE SHOT 🥺 BAKUGOU.... TODOROKI!!!!! ok i love that it’s a shot of bk yelling and td just calm and collected. it just shows their personalities perfectly.

they did! but god... i’m like impatiently waiting for the next seasons we’ve already waited a year and counting for season 4 so hm... at least they aren’t rushing with the story so that’s a plus side. (+ i’m sure corona messed the timeline up too n there’s nothing you can do about that sadly)

well, now it’s like 3 days later (i fucking hate myself for this lmao) and it’s 2 pm so i’ve had multiple sleeps since!! hope you are having a good day!!! cant wait to hear from you. <33333

fjdjcnkskskdnc that’s alright hello marriage anon!!! hru 🥺 i missed you too in the meantime ahah

NICE!! that makes me so happy to hear omg. i didn’t even know it wasn’t available on mac? damn that sucks. but i’m glad you’re enjoying it on mobile nonetheless! isn’t the atmosphere just amazing? and the music is so good too. i can’t wait for you to explore some world! a new update with a new region came out yesterday, and i am Struggling with it AHAHHA

thank you for the reassuring words <3 it’s just been ingrained in me to always be on the grind i guess LOL but i’m def still chilling!! i hope you are too 😌😌

i started watching descendants of the sun (korean drama) bc i know how popular it was, but unfortunately...… not my thing lmaoooo. otherwise, i’m considering watching the great pretender or starting a korra rewatch while i still have a netflix trial!

no real plans for christmas or new years, probably just a nice meal with family! i’m going into the countryside for a day trip next week tho, so hopefully that’ll be good! how about you?

spring and fall >>>>>>> indeed! 🌸🍃🍁🍂 i think a lot of the trees around my neighbourhood are evergreen trees tho, so i don’t really get to see the autumn leaves or jump in a pile like people do in or shows or movies. have you gotten to do that before?

yessssss that’s so good to hear! ooo what is your language? and what a multilingual legend! damn you must have such a wide range of cases to listen to then. and yep!! i got into it because a lot of the cases were australian, it’s really interesting learning what’s happened here in the past! and ahahah the host does have a nice voice doesn’t he.. i can’t hear the australian accent tho which brings up the question i always wonder: if i spoke to foreigners would they think i have an aussie accent? imo i’m just.. neutral nothing like the hemsworths but maybe!! i haven’t started conan yet but!!!! i also found it on netflix so soon hopefully~

yup! 3 years. but i’ll hopefully be doing postgrad med too, which adds another 4 years. plenty of time to get acquainted with at least the science/med side of campus and ofc all the goodies!!! how long is your course?

YES!!! their dynamic 😩😩 and then my fave concept: they’re all stoic and cool on the outside but with each other bakugou is a big softie and todoroki is big Dumbass who does all sorts of ridiculous things to get bakugou’s attention <333333

oh noooo it’s been a year already? but you make very good points it’s good for them to take the time needed and ofc safety for everyone too! still.. bring back tdp for marriage anon asap 😤

that’s good to hear!! ALSO??!??!!??!?!???? i woke up to your lil ko-fi gift this morning and?? ily??? tysm???? i’m??? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 you’ve been a better part of my year too! pls treat yourself for me these holidays!!!! you deserve it sm 💗💖💘💕💞💖💓💖💗💘💕💞💓💖💝💕💓

#marriage anon #wowclunaanswers #long post #11:11 make a wish 🤪

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betweengenesisfrogs · 7 years

Text

OFF THE CUFF HOMESTUCK THOUGHTS #3: THE SELF PILE DOESN’T STOP FROM GETTING TALLER OR: THE PROBLEM OF DEAD MARIOS

DISCLAIMER

IMPORTANT THEORETICAL FRAMEWORK

[CHECK THE TAG FOR MORE THOUGHTS]

So, a long-ass time ago, Rose and Dave had a conversation like this:

TT: After you go, what do you think will happen to me? TT: Will I just cease to exist? TG: i dont know TG: i mean your whole timeline will TG: maybe TT: Maybe? TT: Is there a chance it'll continue to exist, and I'll just be here alone forever? TT: I'm not sure which outcome is more unsettling. TG: the thing with time travel is TG: you cant overthink it TG: just roll with it and see what happens TG: and above all try not to do anything retarded TT: What do you think I should do? TG: try going to sleep TG: our dream selves kind of operate outside the normal time continuum i think TG: so if part of you from this timelines going to persist thats probably the way to make it happen TT: Ok. TG: and hey you might even be able to help your past dream self wake up sooner without all that fuss you went through TT: I think the true purpose of this game is to see how many qualifiers we can get to precede the word "self" and still understand what we're talking about.

This is the most important sentence in Homestuck.

I am dead serious.

Well, OK, I mean, it’s pretty important for understanding some major Homestuck themes and shit or something like that.

Also, I totally should have said: Pre-Retcon Doomed Timeline Non-Dreamself Rose but ultimately about to become Dreamself Rose who semi-merged with Pre-Retcon Alpha Timeline Rose and Doomed Timeline Dave aka Davesprite AKA future Davepetasprite^2 or as we all call them around the office, Davepeta, had that conversation.

Maybe you begin to see what I’m going to talk about here.

One of the major frustrations a lot of people had with the retcon was that the characters we ended up with at the end weren’t the ones we’d come to love and know throughout the story. Was it even worth it, to lose the characters we loved to the tyranny of Game Over? The victorious kids, with the exception of John and Roxy, were other people, with other histories, other goals, and other choices.

Allow me to submit that that may be the whole point.

SBURB is cruel. We’ve known that for a long time. It’s cruel not as Caliborn is cruel, but as the cosmos is cruel, as a supernova is cruel. It wants what it wants, and doesn’t care about how that intersects with the needs of humanity. It wants to make universes through a complex game-playing method, and drags hapless, vulnerable adolescents along for the ride. And most of the time it doesn’t even succeed, leaving its champions to rot in a doomed timeline or similar! Skaia’s victory is an amoral creation myth where individual human beings are just the carved pieces on the chessboard. (I mean, the other ones. Not the carapacians.)

Again, let’s consider the theme of VIDEO GAMES vs. REAL LIFE.

Homestuck, let’s be real, is basically some postmodern horror timey-wimey Jumanji. For a generation way more familiar with pixels than cute little tokens It’s easy for teenagers and in fact, basically everyone, to fantasize about escaping their life and slipping into some game world forever, where they get to do awesome things and be a heroic person.

Homestuck makes that literal. Congratulations, everything you ever knew is dead. You will never see it again, except your internet friends, who turn out also to be your family and other important people. I mean, from a distance, SBURB sounds like an awesome game, right? You figure out who you are and get to wear a cool costume displaying that identity. You get to make anything you want and enjoy this hyperflexible mythology tailored to YOUR CHOICES. HS fans talk all the time about how cool it would be to play a real version of SBURB. That’s a big part of the appeal of SBURB fan adventures. They put you and your friends in the story. Or your favorite characters! It sounds like a fantasy come true.

The thing is, as fantastical as it is, it’s also really fucked up, and ultimately you and your friends are being used. By a giant frog to let it have its babies. By the universe. By a smug blue cloud thing that doesn’t care about you at all.

SBURB does not care about you at all.

The funny thing, SBURB features a mythology with so many layers and nuances and seemingly human motifs about growth and self that you might search for some grand ultimate meaning behind it, but it’s not even human enough to have a personality, to be something you can argue with or fight. It just is. It’s all the cruelty and power of a god without any of the dazzling personality. It’s empty. It just wants to make universes all day long, or fail trying. It is a great, weird tadpole-making machine that eats children.

One of the big ways it doesn’t care about you is its attitude toward the self. Humans and trolls and whatnot prefer not to be relentlessly duplicated. SBURB says, oh yeah, let’s make tons of copies of the player characters and use them for a lot of different purposes.

There’s the dreamself, an essential bifurcation of identity (you are now and were always the dream moon princex) that sometimes gets merged into god tier but sometimes doesn’t. There’s doomed timeline selves, who exist ultimately to augment an Alpha timeline whose Alphaness is decided very arbitrarily and frequently by Lord English. There’s the you who exists before a scratched session and the you who exists afterward, who are two different people but started as one baby in an act of ectobaby meteor duplication, your player self and your guardian self. Dead timeline yous fill up the dreambubbles made by the horrorterrors and get endlessly confused with each other. Any one of these could be the you experience being at any given moment, and which one it is entirely arbitrary. Don’t like being Dead Nepeta #47? Tough hoofbeast leavings, kiddo.

To top it all off, in Terezi: Remember, we learn that every single time we thought someone changed from one self to another, was resurrected or something like that, it was another act of duplication. For every time someone’s died, there’s another version of them waiting in the Dream Bubbles, surprised that they’re not the main character anymore. And we have no way of knowing which is which. Even John, good old everyman John, may or may not be the person who died three or four times. It’s really impossible to say whether we’ve been following the same person throughout our story, or just the illusion of the same person, like a horrifying cosmic flipbook.

The retcon is a return to this same theme. Ultimately, there’s very little new in the changes John makes to reality except that they drive the point home.

John’s friends all died. John and his friends won the game. These things are both true at the same time, except those things may not have happened to the same people. There was a happy ending. Hooray! For, um, some folks who may or may not be the ones we care about. In fact, it’s very confusing, because from Rose’s perspective, Roxy is dead but came back to life, and from Roxy’s perspective Rose is dead but came back to life, except also she came back to life as a weird tentacle catgirl of pure id and self –indulgence. So there’s that. Um. Which Rose are we rooting for again?

Or wait: is it none of them, because the first Rose died in a doomed timeline, hundreds of panels and a number of years ago?

There’s a tension here which one experiences between saying it’s okay because it’s still the same people, and saying it’s not okay, because it’s not the same people at all. This tension is exactly what we’re meant to wrestle with. To put it another way, Homestuck asks if identity can work in aggregate. Are all Johns John, all Roses Rose, and do they all share in what they accomplish? Or are the final victors only accidents created by the whims and needs of the frog baby machine?

What I’m saying, basically, is that the retcon, in the sense that it pointed out our confused relationship with these characters, was already here.

In interviews and questions put to him over the years, Hussie constantly compares HS and SBURB to other video games, particularly Mario, which he frequently returns to as a baseline of comparison that most of his readers will know. One answer, from a recent Hiveswap interview, is particularly revelatory. To the question of “Why do you kill off all your characters?” Hussie replies:

[…]HS is supposedly a story that is also a game. In games, the characters die all the time. How many times did you let Mario fall in the pit before he saved the princess? Who weeps for these Marios. In games your characters die, but you keep trying and trying and rebooting and resetting until finally they make it. When you play a game this process is all very impersonal. Once you finally win, when all is said and done those deaths didn’t “count”, only the linear path of the final victorious version of the character is considered “real”. Mario never actually died, did he? Except the omniscient player knows better. HS seems to combine all the meaningless deaths of a trial-and-error game journey with the way death is treated dramatically in other media, where unlike our oblivious Mario, the characters are aware and afraid of the many deaths they must experience before finally winning the game.

The big man hass the answer.

Homestuck is the story of those dead Marios.

Other works, like Undertale, have engaged with this topic as well. But one of the major differences between Undertale and Homestuck is that in Undertale, between “lives,” one’s consciousness is preserved. In Homestuck, it’s discontinuous, and the value of the overall trial-error process is called into question by the fact that you, the player, may not even get to experience the victory. What meaning does victory hold if that is the case?

So, to put it in a nice thesis format:

One of the central themes of Homestuck is the challenge of reconciling an arbitrary and destructive pattern of growth and victory with the death and suffering you experienced along the way. Homestuck asks: is victory worthwhile if you’re not you anymore? And would you be able to know?

What even is the self? Is there such a thing?

If you were left feeling somewhat disconcerted by our heroes’ tidy victory and departure to their cosmic prize, or by how which Rose gets the spotlight is so deeply, deeply arbitrary, there’s a good reason for that. You’re supposed to be.

The philosophical problem of Wacky Cat Rose is insignificant next to the bullshit of SBURB.

And don’t forget—John and Roxy’s denizens helped them achieve the retcon. Ultimately, the victory they achieved was mediated by the same amoral system of SBURB, and was a victory over an enemy, Caliborn, whose power was created, perpetuated, and ended by that same system.

Okay, so here’s where it gets contentious. There’s an argument to be made, which I’m not sure how I feel about, that some of the character development that could have been in post-retcon Act 6 was left out precisely to push this feeling and play up this tension. Note that this is not the same thing as saying that they were deliberately badly written, but that they’re deliberately written to make us uneasy.That Hussie deliberately played with the balance between making these retconned characters feel familiar and making them feel eerily different to leave us feeling uneasy with the result.

I’m not sure I like that idea. It smacks a little too much of that “everything is perfect” thinking that comes sometimes from the far Metastuck camp. Some of the differences may also be the result of flawed writing. (See: Jane and Jake’s character arcs, which I might talk about later.) And I want to be able to critique those flaws. Ultimately, I think we still needed more time and development to figure out who these new people were—even if our goal was ultimately to compare them to their earlier selves. And again, more conscious acknowledgement of the problem from our heroes—especially John, the linchpin in this last and biggest act of duplication—might have helped drive this theme home.

Still, I think the Problem of Dead Marios is one of the most fundamental questions of Homestuck, maybe THE biggest question. It’s essential to understand it to understand what Hussie’s doing—or attempting to do— in the retcon and the ending.

I don’t know that Homestuck offers us a clear answer to that question. There are some confusions around the issue, too. Where do merged selves fit in, exactly? Clearly they’re a big part of the discussion, because Hussie spends some time in Act 6, especially near the end bringing the identity-merging powers of the Sprites to the forefront. (See also: the identity-merged nightmare that is Lord English.) Can we even come up with a clear answer to what it means when a dead Mario returns to life grotesquely fused with Toad? How does he beat the game? Does he tell himself that the princess is in another castle? Or what if he merges with Peach? Are they their own princess? How do they know if they’re in the right castle?

Um. Anyway—

Interestingly, it’s not all grotesque—spritesplosions suggest that personalities that are too different don’t stay together long, so a fusion might rely on some inherent compatibility between the two players. Erisol’s self-loathing, sure, but also Fefeta’s cheerfulness. Davepeta seems to be a way of bringing out the best in their players, a way of getting Davesprite past his angst and Nepeta past her fear. Honestly, I know a lot of people don’t like Davepeta as the ending of these two characters’ arcs, but I can’t help but love it. They’re the ultimate coolkid. Cool enough to know they don’t have to be cool. Regular Dave got there, too, of course. But was his retcon assist from John ultimately any different?

Then, of course, we come to Davepeta’s speech to Jade in one of the last few updates before Collide. Davepeta suggests that there is such a thing as an ultimate self beyond the many different selves one piles up throughout the cosmos. A set of principles that describes who you are that’s larger than any individual instance of you. Your inherent Mariohood. (Maybe this is comparable to your Classpect identity, which attempts to describe who you are?) Davepeta even tells Jade, strikingly, that one might learn to see beyond the barriers between selves. Be the ur-self, in practice, rather than theory. This would be incredible news for Jade, who wrestles with the issue of different selves perhaps more than any other character. (There’s a lot to say about Jade.)

Honestly, I wish this ur-self idea had been developed more, and I honestly expected it to be. It doesn’t fully come to fruition, I feel. (Same goes for Davepeta’s character. Ohhhh, ZING!) I’m not sure it entirely makes philosophical sense, especially with fusion—I mean, doesn’t Davepeta themself disprove it? Or at least complicate it? Like, are they part of the ur-Dave or the ur-Nepeta? They seem to imply they’re BOTH? Does that even work? Does that mean that Marieach is all the Peaches and Marios at once?

(In fact, Bowser/Peach/Mario are but the three manifestations of one eternal principle. Also, Bowser/Peach are the true power couple. Read my fanfiction plz.)

And what, say, of Dirk, who ultimately ends up rejecting aspects of his other selves? It feels like there’s a lot more you could say here, and I wonder if Hussie would have said more, if he’d had time. What’s weird is, none of our victorious kids never reach an ur-self (though to their descendants, they become archetypal to some degree), which one might have expected. They’re just individual selves who happened to get lucky. Does that make them representative of the whole? It feels like something’s missing here, or like something got dropped at the last minute.

Same goes for the idea of the Ultimate Riddle. You’d be forgiven for missing it, but there’s been this riddle in the background lore of SBURB that seems to have something to do with personal agency in this overwhelming, overarching system. Karkat called it predestination, saying something like “ANY HOPE YOU HAD OF DOING THINGS OTHERWISE WAS JUST A RUSE.” But others have interpreted it more positively. My favorite interpretation, from bladekindeyewear: the answer to the Riddle is that YOU shape the timeline through your existence, personality, and choices, even when it looks like it’s all predestination. Ultimately it’s your predestination, your set of events, based deeply on your nature, that you are creating. Someone like Caliborn can use his innate personality to achieve power; someone like John might be able to use it to achieve freedom.

I definitely expected something like that to be expressed more explicitly. Like, a big ah-ha moment that helps John or Jade or whoever understand how to escape Caliborn’s system. Something like that would have been very helpful for a lot of our heroes, actually, who’ve been pushed around by Skaia and SBURB together, in finding a cathartic ending. Once again, I wonder if something was dropped or rushed because there wasn’t time to put it all in. There’s places where you can see hints of that Answer being implied, maybe? But it’s kind of ambiguous.

You can see how the Answer to the Ultimate Riddle ties into some of Davepeta’s ideas. If your personality, the rules of your behavior are a fundamental archetype that goes beyond each individual self, then the answer to whether it matters if one self of yours makes it through to victory is an emphatic YES. You are all of those people, and by winning one round with Skaia, you’ve won the whole game, despite all the arbitrary challenges and deaths it heaps upon you along the way.

This may strike some as too positive for Skaia’s brutality, or again, some way of excusing flaws in many characters’ arcs, or unfair things that happen to them. To be fair, I don’t know that Davepeta’s necessarily meant to be taken as authoritative or the voice of Hussie. They may simply be offering a purrspective.

Hussie not choosing to come right out and engage with the Ultimate Riddle leaves the question of Dead Marios and what they mean for the victorious versions of our cast very open. I like that in some ways—let the reader decide—but I can’t help but wish we had more to work with in making that decision. Plus, it might have brought the thematic messages of Homestuck all the way home to tie them more closely to our characters and their experiences—character development being one of the things most people found most lacking in the ending.

NEXT TIME: All that wacky gnostic stuff probably

#homestuck #off the cuff homestuck thoughts extravaganza 2017 #homestuck meta #homestuck theory #homestuck analysis #The Ultimate Riddle #dead marios #ugh why is tumblr basically unusable #pictures and text can go together TUMBLR #GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER IT'S 2017 WE HAVE HYPERCOMICS #HOMESTUCK COULD TEACH YOU A THING OR TWO ABOUT COMBINING MEDIA

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zenzen-dame-da · 7 years

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also because ndrv3 is almost out this is my last chance to post my totally unspoiled killer/death/mastermind predictions. i made these before i played the demo so i’ll make some changes after:

killers: rantaro, tsumugi, himiko, the robot, maki, miu or ryoma if theres another one victims: ouma, gonta, korekiyo, tenko, kirumi maybe, ryoma and/or the robot if they arent killers mastermind: probs kaede for Shock Value. or its just junko again. or miu is actually junko somehow survivors: kaede if she isnt the mastermind, miu if She isnt the mastermind, angie, shuichi, kaito, kirumi if one of kaede/miu Is the mastermind

ok so for killers rantaro is mostly just he has a stupid murder face and since komaeda got killed last time new komaeda has to stab somone tsumugi can DISGUISE HERSELF AS SOMEONE ELSE and get intentionally seen as she runs away and then the whole trial is about proving that that person couldnt have done it himiko is saionji 2.0 and so everyones gonna expect her to be a victim which means she shouldnt be one and should just go w/ the original saionji expectation of killing someone instead the robot is gonna die whether its from killing or being a victim if hes a killer is bc he was programmed that way from the start most likely maybe By the mastermind maki: idk her talent is taking care of children which immediately makes me suspicious that shes gonna go the tsumiki route and mcfreakin lose it at some point miu: its junko ryoma: if they wanna do the teruteru thing again victims ouma is too obviously evil to kill someone and tbh i just want him to die :^) (im gonna end up loving him when the game comes out i bet bc i make poor choices) gonta is gonna be like nidai or sakura where everyones like WHO COULD KILL HIM HES SO BIG ADN STRONG korekiyo idk he has that rly dark broody character design but something makes me feel like hes more likely to die than kill tenko reminds me too much of akane and akane already got to live hence this one must Die kirumi i want to survive and i think she might but i dont think shes a killer ryoma is too silly looking to be a survivor i wont be mad at all if he is one i just doubt it what i said before about the robot if he dies its probably gonna be bc one of the killers was ok w/ killing a robot instead of a person? i wouldnt be surprised if he dies first just for that reason mastermind: im kind of joking w/ all three but i dont see a rly obvious candidate outside of the IT WAS THE PROTAG THE WHOLE TIME route (i mean SDR2 was technically that too but it was still Mainly Junko) or it just being junko again and honestly miu genuinely looks enough like junko that i can imagine that somehow being a thing. i put nothing past junko enoshima. or maybe the second junko ai is in the robot??????? if the robot lives to the end hes the mastermind tbh survivors: kaede has main character privileges and the rest of them i cant rly explain lmao logically id think shuichi and angie would have to die for being too similar to previous survivors but idk i guess i dont get a strong Death vibe off of them i feel like kaito's gonna be the souda where he's kind of an ass especially at the beginning but he ends up making it either that or hes just gonna live up to his leomondo heritage and kill someone and kirumi cant live if kaede and miu and angie all do bc then it would be 4 girls and 2 guys and they always make it as even as possible but i can see her making it if one of the other girls doesnt who knows how many people will be left in the end anyway and obviously all of this is discounting the possibility of suicide or a double murder or monokuma killing someone so basically i know nothing and this is all me bullshitting

extra later thoughts post-demo: i take back what i said about ryoma, i can totally see him surviving on the back of his sexy fucking voice alone. miu tbh i dont think is gonna kill anyone, it’s too obvious, she’s either gonna survive or get killed at the midway point. pretty much everything else still stands

#no one cares kouunno

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antthonystark · 7 years

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I don't really get why are people are mad they continuously ask Magnus for help? Clary and Jace are Magnus's friends he cares for Clary a lot and he's not as close with Jace but they've been shown to have a friendship. Also Alec is his boyfriend so?? And Clary and Jace are the main characters and Magnus helping them gives him a bigger role. And it would be an issue if he never got his own character development but he has plenty of scenes without Clary and Jace. Sorry this is a mini rant

i’m of two minds on this (surprise surprise)…..like on the one hand, it shouldbe acknowledged that magnus has had issues with people, often specificallyshadowhunters, before when it comes to being taken advantage of etc. like hedetails in his conversation with maia in 2x07. and of course, there is the important consideration of the natural friction between shadowhunters and downworlders as a result of the myriad problems with their society. i guess when it comes down to it, im not a fan ofthe “poor beleaguered magnus vs. evil selfish shadowhunters” narrative,but i also dont buy the whole “everything between everyone is a-okay and happy and love”either? like with the vast majority of things, the actual truth is probablysomewhere in between.

so turns out i had lot more to say about this that i … .may be thought… anyway under the cut

the reasonwhy im not a fan of the first one (poor magnus vs. selfish meanies) is it seems to contradict magnus as acharacter almost entirely…both his personality and his power would insulateagainst something as extreme as all that. of course magnus is an extremely generousand compassionate person when he wants to be, which leads to such problems (as we saw in his relationship with camille, where he gave a million times more than he got), which does leadto issues of being taken for granted or taken advantage of like the ones he talked about with maia in 2x07, so it’s not likeit’s something that’s not a thing - it is a thing, but when it becomes thatmuch of a thing in people’s interpretations, taken that far, it justseems like it’s woobify-ing him, like he’s not a manipulatable child, he cansay no if he really doesn’t want to do something.

but basedon that and more crucially to me, at its worst, it seems like it’s doing adisservice to magnus based on my understanding of his motivations and character, to appear asthough the only reason he would ever want to be involved in the main conflict(i.e. the fight against the genocidal, downworlder-racist megalomaniac) isthrough reluctantly helping the shadowhunters - rather than acknowledging thathe has an equally significant stake in the game and that it’s not magnus unwillinglyhelping with someone else’s personal quest, but rather it being something verysignificant to magnus and his storyline as well. so it’s not always “those damnshadowhunters always asking magnus for help” but then things like stopping agreater demon or, like, preventing a war in the downworld are not just goalsfor clary/jace…..like magnus cares about the outcome of the events just as muchif not more?? so that’s what i guess i don’t understand.

like yousaid, the second magnus would not be involved somewhere where he should be,people are rightfully going to be saying that he’s being “sidelined” from the mainaction. so its this weird thing where the diegetic thing – in the narrative,magnus being asked for help – is bad, but the non-diegetic thing thatwould result from that diegetic thing not happening – in real life, important lgbt+character of colour being sidelined from the main conflict – would also bebad. like people pick and choose, sort of, what they’re going to look at only at face value in the narrative, and what they’re going to look at from a broader consideration of the real world interacting with the narrative (diegetic/non-diegetic are the wrong words but it’s late and i cant think of the right ones). so honestly sometimes I struggle to understand where people arecoming from on this issue tbh.

like,there was a gifset going around recently that was trying to, uh, illustratethis narrative, where magnus didn’t get paid for all the help he did orwhatever, where at least half of those instances he was paidand/or volunteered freely to do it. so firstly, there’s a differencebetween “magnus wants to help” and “magnus is forced to help” that ifeel like people don’t…..get…..so often. both have happened, solike i said, the truth is in the middle. but, like, people often have such a vesteddislike for shadowhunters as characters (or specifically clary and jace) thatthey project that onto magnus who, to be fair, does have a dislike and mistrustfor shadowhunters in general, but in my view clearly cares about clary and jaceand the gang as friends (harry himself said that in as many words in his lastinterview). so it’s not exactly a stretch that he would want to help them whentheir lives are in danger, to me, i guess lol?

ultimately,i think that the most crucial difference arises in the way that one reads that particularrelationship. if you read it as magnus being superficially magnanimous andcivil while having a deeper-rooted dislike, vs. if you read it as magnus beingsuperficially disdainful while have a deeper-rooted affection. if the former,you’re more likely to be upset by the way magnus is ‘treated’ by the two mains,whereas if the latter (which is in my opinion the way the writers meant toframe it, regardless of course of how it came across to people), maybe not so much. another dimension to this is the downworlder/shadowhuntersdynamic, in that Shadowhunters often view themselves as superior in anyinteraction, which – unpopular opinion time – doesn’t apply to the same extentto clary since she wasn’t raised with these notions of superiority like theother characters, including jace, to be fair. i feel like this dynamic is more salientalso in official rather than amicable contexts, e.g. when magnus is at thetrial or strengthening the wards for Robert, but it would be stupid to say itdoesn’t play a role even in the everyday interaction between friends. so,again, it’s complex. it’s not one thing or the other, but really both, so thenreally neither. in my view.

i keepreferring to “truth” but the truth of the matter is, it’s going to dependwholly on interpretations, and i think the reading of this relationship is animportant one in the way that one views it.

alsothere’s also a difference between “wanting to help”, “being forced tohelp” and “sort of being expected to help and not really being thanked forit because he’s an established good guy™ in the show allied with the grouprather than an outsider to the group and/or some neutral figure and in film/tvthe good guys dont usually thank each other unless there’s a higher purpose forit in the narrative”

with thatlast one, i think people, maybe a bit punch drunk on fanfiction, don’t alwaysget that things in regular scripts/narratives that are even a littlebit extraneous do not get to stay in. so things likepeople barging through doors happens because the script needs fat trimmed andit’s less time consuming to start a scene like that than with a knock (andusually with a knock there’s again some purpose, e.g. alec knocking in 2x07when he normally doesn’t so magnus is by the door bc it would be an awkwardshot imo for alec to walk in and stride all the way over to wherever tf magnusis chillin to grab him and kiss him lol – similarly, there was no knock in 2x09 bc malec were over at the balcony and it wouldunnecessarily elongate the scene by having them walk over to the door to answerit etc……like im sure they didn’t think that hard about these things or theycould have done them the other way without giving 2 shits, it’s just thatnobody ever thought people would care this much about doors lol – and, in thenarrative, lbr…if magnus didn’t want someone in his house would they be in hishouse……just think about it). i mean, people don’t even say “hello”or “goodbye” on the phones in any film or tv show i’ve ever seen unlessthere’s some reason for it, so scenes with the good guys standing aroundthanking each other for helping …… i honestly don’t think i’ve seen a scenelike that that doesn’t serve some higher purpose. by that, i mean the primeexample is alec thanking magnus for stuff - obviously, the narrative needs toestablish alec as this person who cares about magnus, so rather than havingeveryone line up and say thank you, alec is the person who most often does itbecause a scene like that with alec and magnus would not beextraneous, because it serves the higher purpose of establishing a thingbetween the pair. just like clary thanking jace establishing a thing betweenthem in, say, 1x07; or clary thanking alec and being rebuffed in 1x08establishing their continued conflict that plays a role in the followingepisode; etc. like does that make sense, where i’m coming from in thatregard? like, when connection needs to be established between characters, it is – jace and magnus’s little moment ashe hands over the stone in 2x03, for example. if it’s not constantlyreinforced, it’s maybe (no shade, just a thought) because the screenwriters don’tfind the connections of friendship or at least fondness between the charactersas dubious as some of the viewers.

MOSTIMPORTANTLY, like i said before, the sense of superiority over downworlders indoctrinatedin shadowhunters from an early age is not illusory or unimportant, and ofcourse that is going to inform the interactions between magnus, a downworlder,and other shadowhunters, young or old. so again as i said in my opening statement,it’s as little a case of pure love and rainbows and sunshine as it is the otherextreme interpretation of this issue. a lot of the stuff people talk about –they have a point. often, that stuff – e.g. people calling magnus “warlock” disparaginglyas the most obvious example, but many others as well – is deliberate by the writers, because this issuebetween the two strata of the shadow world isn’t something that they ignore,since they…ya know.. wrote it in the show. however, some of the stuff peoplesay borders on the ridiculous. as usual, the golden mean can usually be foundbetween extremes.

#my thoughts #shadowhunters #it's quite late at night as im writing this so im not sure the whole thing makes sense #this is just gonna make people hate me more isnt it #oh well like i said before #if people are gonna call me ignorant and stupid and nasty and gross anyway #i might as well be up front with with what i think #i've bit my tongue on this magnus thing for so long bc i just...cba anymore #and i was 2 seconds away from ignoring this ask #no offense i didnt want to start anything #but ill just settle for publishing it under a cut at a really weird time of day #anonymous #mavra answers #text post

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thegeminisage · 7 years

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hella spoilery zeldablogging from earlier tonight

feel kind of bad cause i had to look up the gerudo maze desert thing but i was SOOO close on my own

oh my god there's a lady over here by this shrine failing at cooking and all the recipes she teaches me give me dubious food

there are PILES of rotting garbage that have flies around them and the thing in the pot is sending up this black cloud of smoke lmao

wow the blood moon came in the middle of me clearing out an enemy camp :/

good god there's a stable out here in all this deep snow? how?? would the horses not, like, die?

aww beedle's here but he's cold ):

WOW you can upgrade the boy gerudo clothes but not the GIRL ones? that is SEXIST

oh noooo shield surfing DOES damage your shield i hate this i love my current shield what if i can't find another!!!!!

lol the ridge tower si surrounded by water and electric enemies. Great

omg i found the royal lab ruins ):

ok, i gotta begin prioritizing here

while i'd LIKE to complete all 120 shrines before i beat the game just for the armor, i don't think that's going to be possible - i haven't even unlocked some of them yet bc i don't have the snowballs or the quest takes so long

but the most important thing to me is memories

so after i check out all the ridge shrines on this map i'm gonna get the hyrule field map as well and get those memories

and i'll just save a lot and if i fuck something up and trigger endgame stuff i'll reload

god idk how to do this trial on the thunderplanes so like...im gonna let it be

see? i could never do all 120 before tmrw night

PLEASE this memory i just got was so cute zelda was being a nerd over plants and caught a frog she wanted link to eat :')

i love this zelda like i'm super not crazy about her voice actress sounding much older than i think of her as, and the fantasy british accent, but she has so much more personality than many of the others

ah, and i see now why she loved the silent proncess so...can't be grown domestically, only thrives in the wild

much like herself if you watch some of the other memories haha she feels trapped by her own destiny that's easy to see

i think it's super clever how even with a map you still have to look around for shrines bc they are hidden semi-underground

and i wish i had more time to stop and enjoy the little things like that, but i CAN come back and explore later, i can't unlearn a plot point

this spoiler fear might be a little baseless...tbh i also want to finish the main story tho bc like

i want it to be something i play in my free time, not something i obsess over 24/7 and HAVE to play and think about all the time

it's been a beautiful fun and absolutely life-changing experience but also it's been two weeks and i gotta get back to my actual life, i can't be Like This indefinitely

i'm kinda stunned that it took me this ling tbh? like, even skyyward sword was like a week and a half the first time iirc and i did that at like, a pace where i could stop and explore, i remember thinking how huge skyward sword was

omg im so glad i decided to ride epona down to where i need to go next rather than fast travel + walk bc 1. faster maybe? and 2. THE MAIN THEME PLAYS WHEN YOU'RE ON EPONA OVER THE NORMAL HORSE THEME i could weep

KASS IS BY THIS BRIDGE HI BUDDY I LOVE YOU

i solved the puzzle! this time im talking to him BEFORE i go in

he told me it was stupendous ;_; thanks pal

aw dude another memeory and it played the trailer music but

is zelda really only SIXTEEN about to turn seventeen? how old is link?? i guess under 21/18 if they wouldn't let him drink...

jesus, they're just babies ;_;

also, she quoted link's horse advice so like

this + the dialogue options gives the feeling that he does actually speak, you know? so as much as i love mute link i also like these glimpses into his personality as well, bc he's always been such a blank slate

he's empathetic, playful, sometimes downright goofy, and very tenacious - confident, but not in a cocky way, and obviously always a bit shaken when he gets a memory back

it's nice getting to know him a bit, even if you have to patch most of it together - kinda like narrachara lol

;w; it's so nice to have epona gallop over when i call her again

omg i think i found kass's house! i see his journal :3

haha i got this song "when the blood moon rises stand naked on that platform" ok nintendo

i wonder if you get all the puzzles do you get to tell him who you are ):

im tempted to unlock this one now lol

like, it takes a long time to get here and it's almost the blood moon

SIGH this is gonna take awhile but it'll save me time later

oh lmao it was JUST the blood moon so i'd actually have to wait a SUPER long time nvm tbh

well. welp. welly well well

i guess.......its time for hyrule field tower

Im Scared

wow. holy shit. i can see the great plateau from here...and it looks so small. i can see the temple of time, i can see the tower from which i first saw hyrule castle. i can even see the little path i nearly followed, when catching sight of my first moblin and becoming curious, before i got myself back on track. damn. Damn. i have come FULL CIRCLE, holy shit

and like, it's just the way i played it. hyrule castle for last. but you know? i love that shit. journeys ending the way they began. gets me in the feels every time

i'll be honest, THIS i could really stop and explore. forget those awful snowy mountains. this is where the #history is

oh god. i see a guardian down near that tower. please god don't let it be a mobile one

FUCK

i saw two still ones and relaxed and a mobile one snuck up RIGHT FUCKING BEHIND ME

[wheezing]

i don't wanna stop and grind but i worry i might HAVE to get some guardian armor before i can do this, even just one piece...!

i have a diamond circlet so all i'd need from the prof is the chest and/or legs........oh god. jesus fuck

motherFUCKER the range on those still ones, i wish i had been able to take them out...!

oh jesus i made it

this is it. final tower. thank fuck

there'll be more guardians, way more. i gotta at least check and see if i can afford some arrows without setting myself back further for the armor

i think i had all the mats i needed actually i just needed cash...maybe i can cook to earn some since i sold my monster parts

k, i only have enough gears for the chest OR legs, and i don't have enough rupees for either... :/

i COULD buy some arrows and still have enough mats for the armor but then i'd be setting myself back HUGELY re: rupees

ok, i FINALLY got the chest, jesus, now i can go back to hyrule field

altho it doesnt have any def and without even going to the fountain i know i cant upgrade it so rly is it worth it at all, but w/e

also, i read online that if you can learn the timing of parrying their lasers they go down REALLY easily but i suck so much at combat

i guess i'll just wear my anti-guardian stuff, i have daruk and mipha's abilities and fairies AND FAST TRAVEL if anything goes wrong

YES i did it holy FUCK

oh my god! three-shotted!

i just climbed a small hill and got my first look at the rolling green plains...i missed you

no, no, i gotta go get epona to make this perfect, there's a stable i can warp us both to

omg it's the very first people i ever encountered outside the great plateau again

NOOO i hit epona when i was aiming for a monster baby i'm sorry!!!

i gave her an apple and some pats to say sorry ;w;

"legend says that an ancient voice resonates inside that sword...can you hear it yet, hero?"

frankly i'm glad they finally got their timeline shit together bc even tho the games are SO far apart im LOVING these continuity nods

yeesh, only two memories left but they're both RIGHT at the castle...im scared LOL

): i wouldn't feel right taking epona any further

reasons i never have money: cannot physically stop myself from buying arrows

oh, hyrule field is just beautiful ;___;

ohh god im scared

its fine its fine they wouldnt put a memory that close to the castle and then make you go back to impa if hat wasnt POSSIBLE its gonna be ok

awww no zelda sees link as a living reminder of her own failures?? whyyy

ha i love fighting guardians for the first time in ages im like COME TO ME LET US BATTLE

im uh. still working on the timing, but

oh JESUS

my mouth fell open in horror i climbed over a wall to get to the outsideish of the castle (castle town ruins, so says my map) and

the music was already creepy but jesus CHRIST

there's no color except for that blight evil goop stuff...no life...it's awful

poor hyrule, oh god

it's a lot like finding hyrule castle town devastated in oot when you first wake up, except of course this time we've nothing to compare it to visually, only emotionally...

i see a fuckton of guardians too so its a good thing i learned not to be scared of them

ok, god, i can do it, just one memory, i know RIGHT where it is

apparently the hylian shield is in here too and i am sooo sorely tempted

i mean if i have to get that fucking close anyway...

lord i googled it and apparently this memory is super hard to get you gotta Activate some shit but they did it this way they made it so you have to go back out i know i'll be able to come back out i WILL

ah, apparently you need to fight a stalnox for the hylian shield.ok. ok. good, great, Nice, Perfect

haha im soooo scared ;_;

ok, apparently the two paths are COMPLETELY different, so One Thing At A Time

we'll start with the memory, it's more important

tbh, i can't even bring myself to go in. i gotta go around anyway to get to the starting point of this path so i will

lmao i am almost PHYSICALLY ILL with dread this is SO stressful

JESUS

the music went all scary and the map is in 3D like a beast!! which i knew but it's so Much

and i got a cutscene of the calamity screaming with the Classic ganondorf theme i'm Dying how the fuck does anyone just get this memory and LEAVE holy shit

oh my god the main theme comes in!!! jesus

even ballad of the windfish a little?!?!

oh FUCK and ofc with the lightning

haha aww there's a "leave area" button on the map i can bail whenever i guess tat's reassuring

not yet!! i'm gonna have Courage

ohhh i dipped into a doorway just to wait for revali's thing to recharge and the music changed!! so i got scared and went back outside lol

oh god the higher you go the oranger the sky turns it looks like the blood moon jesus fuck

I MADE IT INSIDE

oh god, zelda's STUDY, the rooms all have names bc ofc they do

holder of the triforce of wisdom of COURSE she had a study she's such a nerd im crying i bet she loved it here and it's totally decimated

a silent princess sprouted in her study too ;_;

HER LULLABY IS PLAYING IN HERE IM GONNA CRY

oh good there's the memory!!

ohhh this picture of how it used to be is hurting my heart it was BEAUTIFUL

holy FUCK dude

ok old man is struck from my heart forever he was such a DICK to zelda no wonder he called himself a fool

link knelt right away but god damn i would have interjected on her behalf

you can't expect a person to pray 24/7!!!!

and deny her her passions, which are obviously machines and learning!

omg she has a journal in here and i almost missed it jesus

TODAY SHE MET WITH IMPA im cryin

omg this is her finding the sheikah slate!!!

jesus, and she found the shrine of ressurection too and hoped she'd never have to use it, and Yet...

oh GOD i hit leave area and it plucked me down in the middle of castle town nope nope nope fast travel outta there

ok to impa and then last memory i can do it and then do stream

and for once not play again afterwards bc to be quite frank i could never stress myself out this bad right before bed again, FUCK

hylian shield and all the rest of it tomorrow

h o ly fuck

he DIED protecting her, or he was going to, but she stood in front of him for once and finally unlocked the power, that's how she unlocked it, for HIM

i'm WEEPING and the sword made the fi noise from SS

even the sheikah warriors ran like sheik in smash bros

im gonna cry that was so much!!! there's so much continuity

fi is in TWO GAMES like...that was such direct referencing!!!!

SHE HAS BEEN FIGHTING ALONE FOR 100 YEARS jesus CHRIST she is SEVENTEEN

ok, im gonna watch all the memories in order and then quit for the night

i just realized the ceremony scene is where she mentions embers of twilight and adrift in time - putting us on the mm/tp timeline

aaaah im sad

god and i LOVE her princess dress i wanna see it in her classic pink why is everyone in this game blue??

so like, despite me not being crazy about zelda's voice ACTRESSS and the VOICE she's using, she actually does the best ACTING out of the entire cast

high key loving this zelda who is smart but has trouble with feelings, also

holy SHIT

ok so one of the first memories i got was of zelda coming down mt lanayru

amd it was badass and i enjoyed it

but there's SO much in there once you know more context

mipha was highkey about to spill to zelda that she was in love with link

revali's distain for link

urbosa seems less stern and more caring now that i know her better

now i know what zelda was trying so hard to do

"we have to keep trying until we find the thing that unlocks your sealing power [long shot of link]"

and "i'm not a child anymore" ofc it's bc she just turned 17! like link in oot!

oh man oh man

i love so much link's expressions in these serious moments especially that very last look into zelda's eyes before he "died"

it feels a bit like, with the other stuff i was talking about, i'm getting just a hint of character

and it's kinda close to My Headcanon but even if it wasn't i just like getting to know him

warped back to the temple of time & i'm leaving it there for the night

tomorrow: The End

(and my shield)

#personal #loz blogging #botw spoilers #I Am Not Kidding So Many Spoilers #god why am i still awake i wanted to be in bed literally two hours ago while stream was still on

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benaffleck44 · 7 years

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"Live by night"! Movie versus Book! What has changed and why!

Finally watched this movie which I have been waiting for! And even more anticipated after all the anti flattering reviews it got! Wanting to see why they are soooo bashing it one critic after the other! And it was a blessing that I have read the novel first, so I deeply wanted to know how Ben would translate this novel to the screen, and I wasn’t disappointed, although there are some things that I wished were changed , lets see; First, in the novel he was young and naive making his rash mistakes with the fire of being rebellious for a dissociated father, that was what made him join the outlaws in the first place! But in the movie we got another explanation, he was in the army in WWI and just returned which made this rebellious behavior more like post war stress disorder, he defied any governmental order or law, and that applied to gangs also because they are organized. A good explanation but doesn’t explain the maturity of the character, it should then contain more anger, more chaos, in the father drama explanation, there is resentment and trial to escape from his past, but here he should be more angry! Second, in the book he tried to get his business in Tampa by blowing a military ship to get arms from for the cuban revolution, and Graciela had a past that explained her romantic wild behavior, being married to fake hero, and leaving a family behind in Cuba, which in part explains why he was drawn to her in the first place, they are both rebels of sort. But in the movie no ship blowing, just a fast deal that Esteban Suarez accepted without delay , even when he knows that his men will be in risk for blood shed, and Graciela is his pampered little sister who has this tons of money and loves her country Cuba just for the sake of her dead parents, not edgy character like the book, here she isn’t edgy she is just nurturing and loving with no limitation. That made the daring and later boring periods , where they were bored of each other until the shooting happened and that got them close together again, all this just vanishes, different take but suits the new mature Joe who searches for a home rather than a game to explore , thus a good fit for the character change he made! Third, Emma was his mole from the start, she is betraying her Albert White, and giving his money to Joe, which is different than the book, where he met her in one of his raids on Albert poker game and fall in love. But never used her, which made more sense, because if she really gave him Albert secrets to rob him, that would make them Boney and Clide , not the naive who loved her and she was the one who used him, they would be just using each other and endangering one another! Fourth, the boat scene where Albert demise took place isn’t there, the whole scene was in the hotel , which was actually great! It made him the boss of the operation, while in the book he was awaiting for their rescue , which made him less capable as a boss but know how his men are loyal to him was fascinating, but there was one problem in that scene, which is the sudden appearance of Albert in collaboration with Maso, in the book Albert uncovered by accident to one of Maso’s men how Dione betrayed Joe and he was the reason he went to jail, this was in contrary of what Joe told Maso that he is sure of Dione loyalty, so Joe was lying to him which was unacceptable in his gangster code, thus Albert was the evidence to that, not that he knew Tampa and was desperately needed! Fifth, Esteban Suarez was waaay more interesting in the book, with his dancing, his charm and his intelligence, here he was just a passing character, which was ok not all characters shine, but he was missed. Sixth, the most important point that was really missed was the prison scenes, when he really met Maso, in jail and developed this cooperation and that Maso used his father to gain access to outside powers, these were the most intriguing parts of the story! But I guess it would have required another whole movie to explore Finally, the story tone was different than any gangster movie , it was like the waves and tides, some scenes takes you so rapid you cant catch your breath, some so slow you feel you could relax a bit and the those speedy scenes comes again, those ups and downs were the most characteristic thing of the movie, different from any gangster one before and it was fresh because of it , I think it was brilliant of Ben the director to play the audience like that! Also, I was so grateful when ALL the meaningful philosophical words of Dennis Lahanne were there in the movie, only one was missing when the words Live by night were explained! I think it was because they were implied they didn’t say them out loud!

Now to talk about the multiple hats of Ben! Ben the director, is great he is experimenting, learning, creating visually impressive scenes and brilliant fight and car escaping scenes! Only one thing was not so good, I don’t know why but his face was huge on camera, it wasn’t in the accountant, but it was here, may be the close ups the lens but something was not right! Ben the actor, he is so calm his voice is barley there, letting everyone to talk loud and act while he is the boss who intervene when they don’t know what to do, too caring he didn’t kill Loretta when he was ordered to, trying to be as noble as possible in a filthy world refusing to sell drugs or prostitutes and satisfied with the rum business, but don’t get me wrong, he is fierce when he has to like blackmailing the Chief and killing the whole KKK! He was suitable for the narrative of a mature strong man who knew what he wants to create around him! But his voice was inaudible in some parts and his motive for doing this in the first place was not visible! His keen for power wasn’t apparent , like he didn’t want it in the first place, in the book he sought power but when it didn’t give him happiness he gave it to Dione, which was part of his psychological growth, but in the movie he is mature from the start, intelligent, but fed up with power so why is he doing it ! Another thing, Ben didn’t show Joe vulnerability, like it wasn’t there, it only appeared when Graciela was dead, but otherwise no. Also, I had another problem with his wardrobe , it was ill fitting!! His clothes were huge on him, it fitted on everybody else! Ben the writer, this is the most interesting part because this is the first Solo screenplay for Ben and I feel that he was soo loyal to the book he was afraid to omit chunks of it to fit the time, instead he gave a glimpse of every aspect of the book even if it was by just voice over, but that made the voice over too much like a documentary! But I really liked that he retained all the deep dialogue and tried to lighten the mode by some subtle humor, also that he fitted the story to this mature Joe than the growing immature, rebellious Joe in the book, but with some shortcomings as mentioned earlier. Ben the producer, genius to create this impossible 1920s glamour that was a proof of hard work!

#ben affleck #live by night #review #dennis lehane

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