#i dont know what stupid means in this context thats the point it will be illogical impulsive and surely destructive in some way

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for distancing myself from my partner?

I, (17NB) and my partner (17NB) had a rough year. Thier family is super religious, and so is the place we live in, and we've had many fears about being outed. My family is less religious and I mostly raise myself so admittedly he's a lot more paranoid, and rightfully so I'd say. But ever since we've started dating I've had to ask them multiple times to improve thier communication.

To start off, I wish they were upfront, or atleast more firm about us breaking up, atleast in the first year. That wouldve solved a lot of heartbreak if they didn't want to be with me.

They dodged the question of physical intimacy of literally anything more than holding hands or cuddling multiple times, and yet mentioned they were ace offhandedly to a friend instead of giving me a straight answer (which I wouldve been fine with, I just wish they told me.) They tend to get angry quite easily and resort to snappish/ short answers, and, especially since them having a conversation with thier mom questioning thier sexuality, tend to abhor the smallest inkling of physical contact or sign that we're together, even if we're around friends who know, or alone.

After the conversation with thier mom, they asked to break up, but i basically pleaded for another chance and they agreed. I know it's my own fault at some point for beating a dead horse, but I recently had a conversation that kind of snapped the rose-tinted glasses right off.

We were discussing our futures, and there's a somber agreement neither of us will see each other again after school. Thats not what I'm upset about. They described having kids in a hetero marriage and joking to thier kids about the "wild" stuff they got up to in highschool like experimenting in a queer relationship, basically saying our entire 3 years of dating was a fluke or joke or experiment.

I realised this was the straw that broke the camel's back, they didn't really initiate or seem as eager as me about the sparse times we could go out alone together, they gave me a half finished craft I had to sew myself while I gave a painting for valentine's day, and various examples of bad communication. They're a good friend, I'm not so sure about partner.

So, I'm kinda trying to stop this year. I stopped frantically calling in school and rearranging lessons to be with them, I didnt spam text or think about making any gifts so far, I asked to have a..spicy experience with a friend or two (that my partner agreed with me doing). In my head I guess I told myself that we might call ourselves partners but the word just lost its meaning for us both.

So far, it's okay. It hurts, because it seems more like we're just friends instead of dating, but I want to focus on myself and my studies to get out of our really conservative area. Still, I feel guilty and a little resentful. I know I should've just accepted breaking up, but we're kinda codependant. They and I both know we can't be without each other.

They love me so much, I know that. They've done so so much for me and dragged me out of a horrible place pretty much single-handedly, they're just not great at communicating or emotional maturity. Also, they seem to think queer people go to hell in some self-imposed notion of religious guilt, and when I express resentment towards religions that push homophobia on thier followers they seem weirdly defensive of it.

For context, I have BPD (my partner has, for a long time being my 'favourite person') and what I'm reluctant to call "severe" trauma but it's been described as that. I'm genuinly curious to know if this is a result of some upbringing-induced overreaction or if its okay to just kinda give up on my own relationship. Yes, I'm aware that the best thing would be to break up but I dont think I could ever leave them, for some stupid reason.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[pizzatowerconfessions]

Ever since i finished up the game, ive always wondered why is that the tower has so many weird decisions when it comes to the structure, building or just decorations inside the tower.

let me elaborate on that a little further; lets first start with the fact that every level you play in the game is tecnically inside the tower (perhaps that is a little obvious but whatever). At first glance, it isnt that really surprising. But what about levels that are like.. huge and look like you're actually outside the tower? like Deep-Dish 9 for example. The structure of the level is already odd enough, but at somepoint in the background, there's a huge planet in the distance and also a space pizzamart, as the game refers it. And if we think about it, that means that the tower must be HUGE, like REALLY HUGE, because how do you fit a (probably way smaller than average) planet? And there is still all the other levels and bosses too! Ill talk about The Noise's battle section because he's stupid and he's probably one of my favorite bosses in the game. Once again, the room is HUGE! Peppino is obviously not allowed to roam around these places as this is a videogame and in this case he needs to fight The Noise but if you look at the background, you'll see that there is a literal building in the background (as well as huge Noise balloons and stuff). I personally believe thats just really nuts because, once again, that shows that the tower is really big!

But back to the important part of this rant, the point is that the tower is really big and has these huge rooms full of stuff with each room having a way different theme than the other. And if we think back to the intro of the game where they sort of explain the history and context behind Peppino being in the tower, i believe its implied that the tower was not there before the events of the game. So, considering the fact that Pizzahead had to build this whole tower by himself, this makes me really wonder why is it that there is so many rooms with really random stuff and everything is built in a really odd way.

Although we do not know fully what is the intention behind the actual tower building, we do know that the tower was probably meant to protect Pizzaface/Pizzahead as he was about to destroy Peppino's Pizzeria. But i then think, why does Pizzahead need a room that's full of bacon and has a menacing pig in the background? Why does Pizzahead need a secret tunnel that leads to a pumpkin grandpa on a chair? Why does Pizzahead even need a pig city in the first place? I could go on and on about this but i guess you get the point.

And at first i thought: "Oh well, all of these levels and other things are just meant to protect Pizzahead and distract Peppino for eternity!" And although i believe that is kinda true, (its never confirmed in the game but i guess its some sort of headcanon?), in the game its confirmed that it doesnt work and if you progress in the game it means that Peppino was strong enough to get through all of the tower's obstacles. But yet, i still think there are some rooms that are just unnecessary and dont even help Pizzahead in anyways (like the bacon room, as i mentioned it earlier if im not wrong).

The closest answer i ever had to these questions was the possibility that Pizzahead was just fascinated with the idea of having a tower, so he just had all sorts of stuff in it because he was messing around and he found it amusing. If this is even true at all, which probably not since it's a headcanon of mine, i still think its pretty funny to think about Pizzahead in this way.

(a quick side note to my rant, i believe that there isn't as much Pizzahead content in the Pizza Tower fandom despite him being one of the main antagonists of the game and it would be nice if people would start making more content about him as i believe he's a really interesting character, despite how little he appears in the game.)

I wanted to clarify that im aware that im probably thinking way too much about this silly pizza game and most things are probably just there because it was funny and its also a goofy videogame. But yet i still find entertaining to overanalyze it and make all sorts of theories because i love this game that much and im sure im not the only one who gets all nerdy over this but yeah you get my point.

.

#pizza tower #pizza tower pizzahead

[voidcommascreamintothe]

Cassian is not going to die in the next acotar book, what are y’all on?

I’m talking about acotar again. I gotta. The thoughts must be let out!

Come, walk with me here.

I’ve seen a couple of tiktoks saying that Cassian is likely to die, or that he is fated to die. But I am convinced that media literacy is much lower than the experts thought, because some of the arguments are just… inaccurate interpretations of canon?

My arguments are as follows:

1. Elain saying it wouldn’t take much to kill him, was only in the context of the battle with Hybern. And i know this because acotar was supposed to be a trilogy!!! You dont even need to read between the lines here, you just have to read. It was supposed to end with Wings and Ruin. It was planned out and plotted as a trilogy; altho i am partly convinced that Maas never intended the books to continue past the first one (more on that another time). Elain either saw that Cassian dies and intervened because she saw that his death leads to Nesta’s death, or she warned him, to let him know that he is not infallible. His death means Nesta will probably die too, as is established when Nesta refuses to leave Cassian and covers his body with hers, so Elain warned him to not do anything stupid. Altho the fae people have long lives, they are not Deathless. They can still die. So that warning of Elain’s, only served as a reminder to Cassian.

2. We have canonical resurrections. Rhysand died and came back. All three Archeron sisters died and came back.

2.1. We also get a cop-out. Near the end of acosf, when Bryarlin is controling him, he turns the knife on himself and pretends to fall to his death, so that Nesta can unleash her power to its fullest. This fake “Cass dying” scenario happens like two or three times over the course of the books. It would be poor cheap writing on Mass’s part if it happens AGAIN. And poor and cheap writer she is not.

3. What would be the point?

No, i am serious here. Narratively, what purpose would a Major Character Death serve at this point in the story? When has an important character died, and stayed dead in these books?

I truly believe that Amren’s death would’ve served a narrative purpose. If she sacrificed herself - and stayed dead- for the sake of everyone else, it would’ve been definitive proof that she was more fae than cold blooded monster. She was not one for sentiments and warm hugs. This act would have been her showing just how much she changed, how much the love she received from her friends changed her for the better. But no, she gets scooped up from the magic cookware and becomes yet another powerful female character that looses her powers.

Side eye. Major side eye to Maas for that one.

And thats for Amren, a secondary character. I do not for one second believe that permadeath is in the cards for any of the acotar characters.

4. Maas got her start in writing Sailor Moon fanfics. Do you think that someone who writes Sailor Moon fanfics would NOT write a HEA?

Ok this is more of a meta-textual reading of the text, looking at the bigger picture and incorporating details from real life into the contextual interpretation of the text, but it is important still.

Maas’s stories are high fantasy with a hard magic system and also a focus on love and loving relationships between people. Throne of Glass specifically, but the Maasverse generally, follow this kind of pattern and genre. A Court of Thorns and Roses is much more of a Romantic Fantasy. Romantic not as in smut, but as in Princess Bride. Romantic as in the Romantic movement in literature. It is idealistic. It shows a world through pink lenses in the shape of love hearts. It is much more of a 80s or 90s fantasy movie than anything else.

Game of Thrones these books are not. GRRM, Sara is not. The tonal shift that would come with a Major Character Death would be jarring. It would be off putting to a lot of the core audiences, and if Maas doesn’t see this, then Bloomsberry does. Or someone on her team does. If they cut a threesome scene, citing messiness and over complicating character relationships, then they most likely advise to stick with the status quo: HEA.

Love and loving connections is a huge part of the plot in Sailor Moon. The meaning of love, life, bonds with other people, all of this warm fuzzy way of telling a story is the point of the immaculate conception of Maas’s world building. She will bot go against it. It is not within her style nor her pattern of storytelling.

4.1. My loves, Aelin made it out of the box. Aelin got her happy ending with Rowan by her side and a crown on her head. Her Majesty the Queen of Therassen, got out of the box and got her happy ending- without her powers (side eye) but that is for another post. We were worried for a second there, but it was a HEA at the end wasn’t it?

When Maas said that we should be worried for Hunt, (or Rhun really, both are in a bit of a pickle at the point the story left them), I am confident she meant we should worry for them in the same way we were worried for Aelin. Who went through hell, but came back. To her HEA. Do you see what in putting down?

4.2. I also don’t really have a way of saying this, but smutty romantasy books do not kill off their breeding pairs. The style/subgenre of smutty romantasy does not come with main girl/boy death. Side characters, maybe; parrents or siblings (often off-screen) definitely.

But not your breeding pair. Cmon. We’ve read enough of those books to see the established pattern right girls?

I am by no means an athority on ACoTaR lore. Im just a girl in the world, reading smut. But I do have reading comprehension skills. Well developed ones, in thanks to all that classic literature i read as assigned reading in school. If I can analyze the motivations and traits of Raskolnikov and the original Lady Marmalade, as well as accurately surmise the plot of War and Peace, a book that gave me no peace and gives me war flashbacks, then a book about hot people having hot skysex is not an issue babez, truly it is not.

Bonsoir.

#cassian acotar #nessian #nesta acotar #nesta archeron #nesta x cassian #maasverse #pro acosf #acotar #acowar #tog #throne of glass #queen aelin #rowan x aelin #aelin ashryver galathynius #cc1 #cc hosab #cc hoeab #rhun daanan crowned prince of the valbaran fae #sarah j maas #hunt alathar #elain archeron #elain kingslayer #pro elain #aelin apologist #crime and punishment #war and peace #dostoyevski

[bedtimestoriesforbrokengirls]

Last week i hooked up with a guy. We were having sex in his car. I told him i wouldnt have sex with him without a condom because i dont know him like that. We had mediocre sex for a couple minutes when i realized …something didnt feel right. I looked and realized he didnt have a condom on even though id WATCHED him put it on. He claimed it was inside me but everything about the situation felt wrong. I put on my underwear and left,,,honestly i felt gross and used and…i know technically if someone else told me about this happening to them i would never certain to make sure they knew they were raped. I dont feel like thats what happened. Idk im feeling confused and used and still pretty gross. Idk what to do about it and idk what i want you to say about it but….i wanted to tell you?

It’s your story, kid; I’m not gonna force a narrative on you. If you don’t want to call it rape, we won’t call it rape.

So instead of jumping to legalistic conclusions, let’s simply talk about what happened.

He pushed to have condom-free sex with someone he didn’t really know. (That means he prioritizes his arousal over anyone’s well-being, including his own.)

He lied when he said the condom was inside you. (If it had been, you’d have retrieved it and mentioned it… your vagina isn’t a latex compost bin where lost condoms turn into mulch.)

He stealthed you, intentionally removing the condom so that he could take non-consensual risks within the context of a consensual sex act. (This means his fantasies matter more than your realities.)

He thinks you’re stupid enough to fall for any of this. (His contempt for you extends beyond his view of your body as his to violate.)

He almost certainly has something; that wasn’t his first time, and it’s entirely possible that spreading his disease —either a literal STI, or figuratively in the form of a bastard child— is the whole point. (Get yourself tested, immediately.)

He seems to have lucked out and pulled this shit with the right kind of girl; it’s safe to assume —because you’re asking me— that you have a rather nuanced and possibly conflicted view of sexual manipulation and assault, and are thus struggling to figure out if you somehow deserved or invited this treatment. That’s of course super-handy for him. He doesn’t have to feel shame, analyze his actions, or bear the consequences of either because you’re here to do all of that for him. Which would be fine if any of this had been based on a profound emotional bond, a shared understanding, or for fuck’s sake, just a fleeting glimpse of intimacy. But it wasn’t. (I need you to remember that what we are ain’t what he is… the fucked-up sex we enjoy can be brutal and scary and overwhelming, but we’re always on the same team. You were never on his team, honey. Never.)

As for what you might want me to say… I can only guess. Probably something that affirms your experience and recognizes the complexity of your reactions without making you feel like a cretinous whore or a helpless victim. I figure you also wanted to be given a new perspective on the experience that clarifies and embellishes your own feelings rather than trying to convince you that you’re having the wrong ones.

With that said, I know what you need me to say.

Take care of yourself. First and foremost. If that means making less of this event than you could, so be it. Again, you’re the author of this chapter of You: The Untold Story.

But seriously, kiddo… don’t carry this dude’s shit. He did it. All of it. He made a series of decisions that invalidated your decisions. You don’t have to call that “rape”, but that doesn’t make it okay. You can reject the trauma in an experience while still accepting its reality.

Oh, and I’m glad you spoke up. I hope it felt good to get it out.

#asks

[unhingedkinfessions]

so like. we're in this discord server and its p sick lol theres not many issues with it tbh but there is smth thats been botherin me and ive gotta get it out somewhere so that i dont feel like an asshole for sayin it in the server itself its very 'kin focused, a lot of ppl in the server are otherkin. so we have a channel for ppl to talk about 'kin stuff. only issue is that its open to anyone who joins the server. which wouldnt be an issue if we didnt have the occasional person join whos a 'normie' and then they automatically have access to the kin channel. we're also all very anti-kff and are very open abt how those ppl arent welcome in our space and are fine with explainin the dif if needed this is context needed for what imma talk abt lol so theres this guy in the server, we'll call him G, and he's just some dude who is in the server and exists in our space. which is totes fine. but. G has a bad bad habit of thinking that being kin = relating to a character/having a comfort character. and we (several members of the server + the owner) have explained that he is wrong several times. he asks what 'kinning' is and we explain. we explain at least once a week atp but for some reason, it just isnt clickin for the guy. that or he is blatantly ignorin us anytime we explain it. but the thing is. he blames not understandin on his autism/adhd. which is genuinely the most bullshit thing ive ever heard bc like. most of us HAVE autism/adhd and we're like... come on dude.... i understand not gettin social norms and shit but at this point, its gettin absurd. it doesnt help that he also blatantly ignores ppl's boundaries and continues to post things that make ppl uncomfortable and then once again, blaming his neurodivergence for his actions. which again. most bullshit thing ive ever heard. i genuinely dont know why this fucker is still in the server atp. he doesnt respect any of us. he's even gone as far as to try and use tupperbox (which we have for system + kin use) for his 'fandoms' as he says. and then ignoring when i told him that he's NOT ALLOWED to do this. genuinely i cannot fucking stand this guy and i want him out of the server because fuck him. if you cant respect our space or us you can get the fuck out. stop acting like you're kin when you say you dont even know what being kin means. stop ignoring us when we try to explain it to you. stop acting like you're absolved from any repercussions just bc you're autistic and downt undewstand uwu fuckin. shut the hell up dude i hate your bitchass. petition for the server owner to ban his ass the next time he says some stupid bullshit

also ik someone from said server follows this blog so hiiii if u see this <333 ik u agree with me bc weve talked abt it before <3333 love you dude /p ur so cool

girl what the fuck

ruling:

#kin server stories #Anonymous #mod bender

[quodekash]

PART TWO OF THE THOUGHTS I HAD WHILE WATCHING MSP OS2 EPISODE 2 COS I KEEP RUNNING OUT OF IMAGES COS I HAVE TOO MUCH TO SAY (wooo look at that there's a link here to the previous part, haha self promo) (there will almost certainly be at least two more after this one, if not three or four more. i think too much.)

OMG THIS SCENE

I LOVE THEM

GREDGKHJBER

THEYRE SO IN LOVEEEE

AND GUN HOLDING THE BOTTLE FOR TINN TO DRINK FROM??? BROOOOO

I SEE YOU LOOKING

I SEE WHERE YOUR EYES ARE, MISTER

YOU’RE LOOKING AT HIM

I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

hes so whipped

youre so whipped, tiw

hes in love with him

i love them so much

holy hell

hell yeah, soundwin

WAIT

HANG ON

IS THIS WHAT I THINK IT IS???

HOLY HELL IT IS

GUYS IVE LITERALLY BEEN TELLING EVERYONE FOR MONTHS

SOUNDWIN=PATPRAN

MY SOUNDWIN=PATPRAN AGENDA IS FINALLY JUSTIFIED

WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL

G U Y S

IM BASICALLY GOD AT THIS POINT

HOLY HELL

HOLY FREAKING HELL

IM SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS

AND EXCITED

HOLY HELL

thats fair

(but also, without context thats really funny. imagine gun, por, and jorn hearing that. they have no idea how soundwin's first interaction went down. and even if they try to explain, theyll still be so confused

"im sorry, what? he locked your arms in the bathroom??"

"yeah! we wanted him to join the band so i got his attention while he was peeing-"

"what."

"-and then he got really mad at me for some reason and then he slammed me against the wall-"

"WHAT."

"-and he threatened me and pulled my arms back and my arms were sore for days."

"WHAT THE HELL-"

its very amusing to me)

but theres not as much tension as there was in the original canon universeeee

because they dont actually hate each other in this versionnnn

they just have a slight rivalry but its mostly friendlyyyyy

i love themmmmmm

and this one is tiwpor bc tiwpor are couple goals

oh

oh theyre all just shows arent they

yup, okay

i love them

his little headscratch omg

OMG

GEORJBSGJKERBGJBVREKJDBGJKVRE PLEASE

also i would like to point out: look at win's face there. he looks directly at pat. does pat like jorn?? does win know??? I NEED ANSWERS

AND HE KINDA LOOKS AWAY AND NODS AT THE OTHERS AROUND THE TABLE

HE FREAKING KNOWS

I DONT KNOW HOW HE KNOWS

BUT HE KNOWS

IM CERTAIN OF IT

everyone, apparently. weve got two different universes, each with three different versions of that scenario, and its a very successful show, so. yeah.

NOOO MY BOYYY

HE IS SAD NOW

SOMEONE HUG HIM

poor boy :(

"bye-bye. get out. okay. byeee." POR SPEAKING ENGLISH >>>>>

i love him so so much

wait, so, in this version of events did por use the questions to score his own boyfriend, rather than tiw with his sibling's relationships???

you underestimate the power of the questions, tinn. they work surprisingly well. in the other universe it made you both cry and then you found out that, wow look at that, you like each other! all because of the questions. so, yeah, they really CAN get you closer. trust the questions bro

hang on, do win and gun in this universe have the same relationship as sound and tinn had? like the childhood rivalry without any real explanation of it?? so for some reason they hate each other?? i would like to know please

oh hey look at that, we just watched gun's life leave his eyes

hes tryna figure out how the hell he fell for such an IDIOT

but hes also probably thinking back to the bullfrog song and is realising that he fell for tinn because of how stupid and silly he is

so now hes questioning his entire life

gun's face, omg

also no, that's jorn!

WAIT I JUST HAD A THOUGHT

tinn somehow knows that 'youre charmed by his isaan accent' and then says 'right?' as confirmation that he is correct.

WHAT IF he knows something

WHAT IF por told tiw about jorn liking pat. WHAT IF tiw told some people in the music club (perhaps all of them??). WHAT IF he only said 'someone in the student council' likes pat, not giving his name (cos it would be mean if he revealed jorn's secret). WHAT IF tinn thinks its gun who likes pat, because of his isaan accent.

WHAT IF, GUYS, WHAT IF

why are you worried about him mentioning his dad, gun

is it your trauma

do you need a hug

SOUNDWINSOUNDWINSOUNDWINSOUNDWINSOUNDWIN

THEYRE PLAYING PATPRANNNN

MY SOUNDWIN=PATPRAN AGENDA GETS STRONGER BY THE DAY

"just a warm up" KILL MEEEE THE PARALELLSSSS

HES TEACHING HIM TO T A C K L E ???

BRO THIS IS SO MUCH MORE INTIMATE THAN BADMINTON

HOLY HELL I SWEAR THEYRE GONNA MAKE OUT

"come here. you use the area between your chest up until your shoulders to tackle. you hold your opponent with both of your hands like this." holy hell holy hell holy hell

he just hugged him

that was hugging him

was that not hugging him?

the coaching is making me think of akkayan with the judo. even tho i know its an entirely different thing.

"the areas you can tackle are from the chest down to the feet. is that clear?" damn sound is so much better at giving instructions than win is. sound fully told him what to do. win kinda just. yelled at him.

"it's easy. try it." again, the same thing that win said, but so much calmer and more effective

"you forgot to wrap your hands around me" y'know, something is telling me he didnt forget. he's just scared of intimacy. which like is fair but also jUST KISS ALREADY

oh noooo now theyre yelling at each otherrrr

win just follow his instructions, he did a good job explaining

"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO TEACH, NOT YELL AT ME!" hey, it's that line!

"learn to play sports sometimes! dont just spend your days hitting on girls!" H E Y THAT LINE!

"i made an effort to teach you but you wouldnt learn anything. you dumb!" again, THE FREAKING PARALLELS i love them so much holy hell

"secret" dating

THE CHIN TICKLE GHREBDGHRBDGHRB I LOVE THEM AND THEIR CHIN TICKLES

aaaaand guess who already ran out of images. again.

(also a little note here, i put all my our skyy 2 commentary under the same tag and its always the first tag of the post, so if you tap/click on that one youll find the rest of my commentary on the episode (if you want to)) 

i shall post these first two parts and then ill do the next ones like later tonight or maybe tmro, idk man

#quodekash watches our skyy 2 despite desperately needing to sleep #patjorn #phatjorn #patkajorn #tiwpor #tiwsonpor #soundwin #winsound #tinngun #guntinn #markford #winnysatang #satangwinny #geminifourth #mark pakin #ford allan #satang kittiphop #winny thanawin #gemini norawit #fourth nattawat #aun napat #prom theepakon #captain passatorn

[spikeinthepunch]

if you thought that was the last post i would write today about Lisa, you are a fool. i wrote that last one at 2am so i have energy for another one, bc i had *more* thoughts even after that

TW for sexual abuse/rape/assault (i am going into more detail so please take that TW seriously)

Do victims talk? & how all the men mean something.

This is stupid long, sorry lol. i threw two topics into one.

okay so i had these thoughts on my mind prior and again i havent played Joyful (a few minutes of the start only)-- but with just the context of Painful this still sits on my mind.

Do victims talk? I want to answer this for myself.

Lisa (the character) was sexually abused and The First was pretty much an inner look at her mind. This reflects through most of Painful whenever it comes up, even if they aren't straightforward about it. That was the main thing, was not being clear when i played Painful, I didn't know what I was getting into. but with enough information it wasn't hard to side with Brad whether it was because of the abuse or the suicide-- and the fact that Buddy had been kidnapped in a world of men, who needed her in order to bring the world back. From the start, I felt like I knew what was coming in that regard...

But Buddy's important to the world was clear.... Obviously important. But Buddy is a child and so when Brad has a realization/assumption over what will happen the player can side with him. When i played i was immediately like, oh god, oh jesus. Of course I wanted Brad to save her... what I saw in their life of Brad keeping her inside didn't seem wrong, not exactly.

But there was a change of mindset towards the end of the game. Thats where that good intent falters. And you look back and question things... you kind of realize why Buddy acted how she did, and how she has been able to defend herself.

But the biggest notice to me is the lack of Buddy talking about anything the men implied they did to her. When you explore you hear them say vulgar things, then you get the to the Hairspray guys (whatever theyre called) and you hear what they're saying about having her in a back room for men to take turns on her and thats the first "oh god" moment. You of course find a man in her place, but still implied that she was in fact here and escaped. So, the implication still remains... You haven't seen Buddy at this point so you dont know what she'd say.

But when you do-- that is when she brings up Sticky. And yet again, the implications make it sound like Sticky raped her to 'teach' her about sex. But buddy seems to describe it vaguely after Brad gets mad about it. To continue this furthers and more quickly-- other instances of abuse/violence/assault on Buddy that are show or mentioned are Buzzo cutting off her nipple (shown), the mutilation of her face (shown), and at the start of Joyful the comment that one of Rando's 'friends' tried to touch/assault/rape her when she was tied up (off screen). That last one, Buddy again brushes off and doesnt say much.

So what do i say this all for. Well, the question is "how much of this actually happened to buddy?" We saw some on screen violence. But rape, assault, molestation? She doesnt say it exactly... but I think any survivors or those familiar would know full well that that doesnt mean it didnt happen. I think its completely wrong to assume nothing could have happened. lets break down the things that occurred from Buddy's end/how she acts, and some other details

Brad has already closed her off and isolated her. she doesnt know like, anything. she probably doesnt understand at all what sex would be and what would be bad (much like many csa victiums!)-- especially if Sticky did it, someone she trusts.

She shuts down when she starts to tells Brad, not exactly because she doesnt want to tell him- rather because he starts to get mad. Buddy knows that is a scary reaction from the past and probably ties that all into the anger Brad had towards her wanting to learn and explore (something she felt Sticky did)

overall, Buddy wants to use this opportunity to explore and see and learn and most of all, not be with Brad. she doesnt want to talk to him or share with him anything because she knows what hes like.

and ultimately... victims often dont tell people. maybe they dont know how. maybe they dont realize its abuse (again, common for children who dont know a lot). and for buddy too, she doesnt trust the one person who wants to make sure she is safe from all of it.

to go on the statements Buddy and others make regarding these events- i think it would be odd for all of those men to be lying. especially sudden moments like the start of Joyful (especially when the guys said they killed the other for what he tried to do). The Sticky instance was stated by Buddy in a vague way herself which is reliable. there was enough shown violence, attraction, and ability to contain her for moments that it just doesnt seem right to think theyd be lying too, like the Hair guys.

In the end you have two important things to think about: Buddy does not trust Brad anymore. She won't tell him anything. And the men like bragging. They loved talking about her. With the evidence we had about when she had been capture her, this doesnt look like lying from them- they were proud to have potentially having her for good.

In this story the men mean a LOT. they imply so much. and after the secret boss fight? I realized they mean so much more.

How all the men mean something.

The secret fight with Marty showed how deeply ingrain he is in Brad's mind. I expressed a LOT more about that in this post from last night. But the main thing to gather for this topic is how a lot of that mindset is defended by Marty as "this is how men should be".

Masculinity. Power. Control. Dominance. He expected the same from Brad and failing to do so meant he was weak, unworthy, pathetic, unmanly... While Brad escaped and desperately didn't want to be like him, he did what Marty did to Dusty and he abused drugs, etc. For Brad, he cannot shake the guilt that he will be the abuser his father was.

What does this have to do with the world of Olathe being full of men? Oh it has so much to do with the story. The implications... Olathe is full of men. They have formed groups who fight each other and are quite horribly violent at times. Masculinity is undeniably at its peak, and directs much of their culture....

You see how masculinity plays a huge role? No not every man alive here is horrible and abusive. But the point is that masculinity drives them, and more often than not its an "excuse" to living the way they do. Be tough, hold your ground, don't let anyone make you weaker than them. If you're weak and you can't stand up, you will face consequences for it. Toughen up.

The sense of power and dominance these men have in this world became WAY more obvious when Buddy comes up. They are scrambling to find her and their dynamics become incredibly violent and push these aspects of masculinity to the worst of it. Marty's mindset is the worst of the twisted idea of how to assert authority, and how to treat someone weaker than you. You can do as you want. You can beat them or rape them. The culture that Olathe created for these men made them fall into this warped mindset much like the one Marty promoted. These guys knew Buddy was a weak little child. They wanted to use her and do as they pleased. They could they could because they were bigger, powerful, etc.

Their words and wishes are basically as disgusting as the things Marty would say. I think thats enough to solidify that connection.

Lisa has an incredibly interesting narrative on how a Victim is viewed from the outside. How abuse effects further abuse- the distrust of child to guardian in telling them when something bad has happened and the inability to save them due to it. And from the inside, how masculinity through trauma can warp your mind. How the influence of a man towards man, feeds into a cycle of abuse and the world where that masculine culture is ingrained in everyone no matter how deeply they act on it.

cycles. "you cant escape". everything things about it seems utterly hopeless but the game still pushes you towards something-- it makes you want to crawl towards the light that Brad struggles to reach. but this was never an easy process. your action created consequences you never wanted to happen in the first place. your intentions were selfish- you didnt learn, you didnt understand how actually fix this. it was a desperate attempt.

but by god you want to change it so bad. isnt that something? internally you gotta keep holding on to it. jesus christ, dont let go, or itll be all for nothing. you are not fated to be your abuser. you are not fated to never escape. you have to remember that. you must face all of this but you have to fucking rip apart the guilt and the anger and the sadness to get there first. maybe this wasnt the way to do it. but please dont give up, okay? thats what its all about.

#seriously long its like 1.4k words #the last post was 1.1k tho lol #lisa rpg #lisa the painful #lisa

[slowjamastan]

hi, I like you and what you post but may I ask what your view is with trans folks? I genuinely just want to know, tbh it doesn’t matter to me your views but I am just curious because you don’t seem particularly judgy but a little more traditional

oh yeah fair question. i hope u dont mind if i expand on my life a bit, bcz my views make more sense w context i think. tldr at the end

so i identified as dif flavors of nonbinary/trans/queer for nearly a decade of my life. ive been on tumblr since 2010, i called myself "trans" since age 14. ages 18~20ish i went to art school. it was a Peak Woke environment if you will and i fit right in. i dropped out when i realized the artists life wasnt for me. I had no idea what to do next with my life, so i did a lot of serious introspection and among many things, made the conscious decision to consider points of view on trans people from places other than tumblr (there is a lot wrong with me), like, i found out that people who didn’t “get” the trans thing aren’t universally stupid and considered their concerns. crazy ik. later i conclude baby steps style "hey i think 'nonbinary' as an identity might make no sense, like at all" and officially moved my worldview away from "identify as whatever you want forever uwu" 

my opinion on nonbinary genderqueer etc people is that it was made up online in the early 00s at best. “but other cultures have third genders—“ yeah you mean like when gay men aren’t considered real men? or when theres no male children in a family and a girl has to take on that role? nonbinary folx are either children or immature adults who can barely function in society. thats not a moral failing btw but it is hard to watch

from this point forward, assume im talking about binary trans people.

i dont believe gendered pronouns are a decision you get to make, theyre when someone looks at you and diagnoses your appearance as one of two things, and trans or not you dont get to decide how other people see you. trying is an easy way to drive yourself insane and get 500 plastic surgeries and do nothing but obsess over your appearance for your short time on earth. this isnt controversial right? we've all seen trashy reality stars with fucked up faces and botched boob jobs right? trans ppl look like that to me. again, not a moral failing, but def a red flag considering, for instance, the price tag and self centeredness transitioning implies. but anyway it feels ridiculous to handle random men in skirts or women with green hair with kiddie gloves in public yk so i just gender em as i see em. i dont give them any space in my brain bcz why should i. sorry if u dont pass and are going to angry tweet ab this interaction, its not my problem

i started identifying with truscum types (because i was never doing the trans thing “for fun” ive been uncomfortable in my body and had complicated feelings on being seen as female for most of my life), and committed to being a trans man full time age 21~22. started therapy soon after while weighing the risks of T on my health and safety and what exactly i wanted from it, even tho i WOULD be kicked out if i medically transitioned and i had no safety net nor any close friends to help me, so i kept putting it off. i was saving as much money as i could from my pt job (while going to community college for my ged) but mentally getting worse and worse. so i got a prescription for ssris.

in a few months, zoloft not only helped my overall mental state but also alleviated the fixation on my body parts being somehow wrong (or maybe it was all the same thing?). it took away my ability to mentally spiral about gender for hours at a time. i dont know if thats a normal effect, or i got placeboed out of wanting to transition somehow. but i experienced the hypothetical scenario "what if you woke up one day and didnt want to be trans anymore" after 10 years of trans identity and organizing my life around transition as a goal.

it was awful but mostly a huge relief. the dysphoria (or dysmorphia or whatever it was) had felt innate and had been with me my whole life and it was just gone, age 23ish. i felt genuinely neutral about myself and my body, and didnt feel like other peoples image of me being “wrong” would make me kms. could have had something to do with my brain maturing also. (as an aside: it felt like 1/3 of my brain had been dedicated to the gender musing pathways and then stopped all at once. my head genuinely hurt. it was a bizarre physical sensation, like a lobe removal, and it took a good year for that to go away)

ive since gone on and off then quit my meds for good, and the mental spiral patterns came back, but its not strictly about my body anymore. its an overthinking pattern that can latch on to anything. (my friend with ocd described a similar cycle she gets caught in. i dont have full blown ocd but i can relate)

i realize my experience isnt universal ofc. gender dysphoria could be a result of a lot of things, but i dont think its an innate hardwired thought pattern. my take is its a result of trauma / autism / mental issues / bi/homosexuality in whatever combination. this is a personal opinion subject to change given evidence, naturally.

anyway. after the dysphoria evaporated, i moved on quick. my ideas about gender were still all over the place. i tried to be more feminine for a while to "match" how i "felt inside". i forced it, didnt enjoy it, but it was fine i guess. i was still insecure about my gender presentation. i still do have body issues, but who doesnt. i wear a mix of clothing styles these days and often get theythemed on vibes alone. im beating the tradwife allegations i promise

this is the point in the average detrans 20-somethings life where she will call herself a TERF semi-ironically and be a shithead online, which is what i did for a while. you pick up new perspectives that feel freeing and suddenly youre above all that gender drama bullshit, like finally you get to look down on the people suffering and laugh because theyre too dumb to "get it." its cathartic after a decade of feeling insane and suddenly feeling capable of living without inherent suffering. i reached gender nirvana and im better than you :3

then you wake up from that and go wait, that was fucking stupid lol. truly terminally online behavior, but i dont have regrets really. the most evil terfily thing i did, if ur wondering, was co-run a blog that reblogged selfies posted in public tumblr mlm tags. i dont think we even added commentary, but we got soooo much hatemail lmaooo. rip straightgirlarchive 🙏

even at peak terf phase i had irl trans friends by the way, and male friends for that matter.

i think the best way i could describe my feelings on trans people now is like meeting someone with a face tattoo, who also treats that tat like a religious experience. they can feel like this represents to the world who they are and are very serious about the symbolism of this tattoo, and thats fine. its trendy in many circles to have face tats rn (wont be for long) but theyre built different, they always needed this face tattoo to be themselves. bro u just dont understand the inner journey like u wouldnt GET it.... and then they complain about not being employable or single or how their loved ones are struggling to get used to their new look...you see what im saying. you get it

i dont hate people like this. i dont think trans people are subhuman or anything. but i am so so SO glad im not one of yall anymore u are ANNOYINGGGGG. I WAS ANNOYING!!!!! in hindsight i sucked so much and was insufferable to be around if u werent on My Level Of Gender Understanding which was based on nothing but social media infographics, >10,000 hours of blind introspection, and Vibes

my god if i could go the rest of my life not having to hear or think about trans stuff ever again i would. ive done my time. ive gotten my trauma. i dont wanna deal with this anymore but it is inescapable online and irl.

and of course, as a lesbian, i personally dislike what T does to womens bodies, not even getting into the top surgery epidemic.... plus theres now biological men taking over or shutting down every lesbian space. i gotta say, existing as a gay woman has never been more suicide inducing than current year /lh

but the human condition generates all types and genuinely if youre an adult and are determined to transition or microdose T or whatever, its your choice. we live in a society. im not gonna berate an alcoholic for drinking or a fat person for overeating either. hating yourself isnt a crime and i can say i find transing cringe but thats subjective and no one asked me. im just chillin, truly, and we can be friends even if i disagree with your life choices. like. its on par with being friends with someone with 200k in college debt to me. you made a dumbass decision imo but maybe to you its worth it, and what are either of us gonna do about it now? im not arguing shit brother, live ur life. manage those consequences best u can. i love u

in conclusion i wasnt born destined to be trans, im a gender nonconforming lesbian with mental problems related to gender and social roles because of the lesbian thing. this is a normal experience that i overthought into body dysmorphia and identity delusions because of the culture around me... im definitely not a radical feminist. maybe call me gender crit but i dont care. i dont identify with any labels that strongly. labels are the mind killer.

TLDR: 

-nonbinary isn’t a real thing outside of hyperonline exclusively-politically-left subcultures, which i personally find annoying since ive left it behind in the process of maturing. to each his own but im allowed to roll my eyes and not play along with larping teenagers and it doesn’t make me evil

-there are no major female / male brain differences. there are no gendered souls. gender dysphoria shouldn’t be treated with transition, because extreme body modification is a mental illness problem in every case. i can’t stop anyone with my opinions obviously but if i could talk to my younger self, id say wait until you’re 25 for the brain development, and in the meantime try less invasive/understudied treatments to improve quality of life.

final disclaimer: i am in my 20s. my views on life and social issues will continue to evolve as long as i live, but the cringe i feel when seeing visibly trans people will never truly go away due to personal traumas. and my trans exes, probably. im super over the queer scene, im a normie gay now. blessings peace love and light

#thanks 4 your patience i had a busy day yesterday. i wrote like 2 versions of this bc i wanted to get my feelings across so bad #its still all over the place but i think it came out better than last time i tried to articulate my feelings on the trans population #mail #post #i deleted a lot of tangents. i like talking ab myself. maybe i just need to write a biography

[laurmaus]

My twitter rant thread j didnt even read before posting any of this it’s in my personal priv hold on let me get the context photo i started writing before she even opened her MOUTH to elaborate sorry im very passionaye about this

ALL OF THE ABOVE IS FUCKING FRAZY. WHAT THE HELL DO U MEAN U WANT TO WAIT TO GET TO KNOW HIM MORE DO U REALIZE HOW SRUPID THAT SOUNDS THE GARROTH OPTION US STUPID TOO HOW IS HE ETILL IN THE OICTYTR IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM He has been by your side for AS LONG AS HES KNOWN YOU literally every single waking moment he’s spent dedicated to protecting you and making you laugh and Smile and like yeah that doesn’t mean you’re obligated to like him back but to say you want to get to know him more first is fucking insane you know EVERYTHING possibke anout laurance you’ve known him since before he was a shadow night you’ve stayed with him by his bedside while he was blind you saw him change hair and change eyes and become your friend your guard your right hand man he lived with you when the threat of okasis and scaleswind came to light he was the ONLY ONE you could trust when the amulet was discovered while garroth was too busy being brainwashed you two went out and GOT SHIT DONE He’s given his heart out so many times risked his life loo ked after malachi been a shoulder to lean on im dead seriois when i say NO ONE ELSE in this entire series has done this much for aphmau like even in the stupid non canon short stories you can See how much he cares and values her so much more than just a love interest but a friend he’s always cared and remembered small insignificant things about her when NO ONE else did like that fall was her favorite season or that she really liked mash potatoes when he found out garroth had a crush on her he literally tried to help SO MANY TIMES FULLY KNOWING!!!!!what it would mean if his attempts actually worked like he is not a jealous person thats the whole point of the SPEEL HE GAVE TO GARROTH IN THE IRENE DIMENSION laurwnfe is completely willing to give his own chance of a romantic relationship up in exchange of helping his friend he says in the beginning of season two i think like oh even if you do get with someone else i know you don’t love me just please let me stay by your side CAFENZA SAYS IT TOO he’s always putting aside his own happiness to see aphmau happy and yeah that’s really sad and unhealthy but watching his light hearted character slowly be warped into one whose jealous and impulsive and puts his own judgement in the moment above the safety of others is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of everything he stands for oughhhhthat just makes me mad and c aphmau is a BITCH for acting like shes in the middle of this super crazy unexplainable situation while all of this is happening like WTF R U TALKING ABOUT I want to wait to get to know him more WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO KNOW????????GENIUENLY LIKE AM I MISSING SOMETHING HERE and WHY is garroth still in the roster am i crazy for not getting that either HOW CAN USERUOUSLT BE CONSIDERING THE MAN WHO IS SO INSECURE HE ISOLATED HIMSELF ABANDONED YOU AND YOUR VILLAGE AS HEAD!!!GUARD!!!!! All bc he thought you got with laurance WHICH SHE LITERALLY DID BTW but thays besides the point garroth has ACCEPTED he can’t be with aphmau and to bring the whole catalyst of the s1 finale back a quarter into the next season is weird especially when it wasn’t acknowledged while the situation itself was happening Dragging garroth back as a love interest was weird to me i geniuenly dont get it but maybe tbats bc im really bias?????? Maybe i don’t see something here but idk i think the whole game laurance is waiting to play when garroth is saved is weird and not a situation aphmau should be allowing like girl stand up😭 Why is she agreeing to wait for garroth to see “who she chooses” do u realize how fucking insane that sounds i don’t know if i’m explaining this jna way that makes sense ok im tired of writing this BRING OLD LAURMAU BACK🔥🔥🔥🔥

#IF IM WRONG IM SORRY i typed straight from my heart i am open to changing my mind abt whateve maybe km missing sometning here #oughhhh #aaugghhnooooo Nooooo laurmau😭😭😭😭😭

[hellofeanor]

Hi! its me again you friendly neighbourhood nuisance lol. So I’m super bored and my curiosity likes to torture me so i have even more questions about your fic Brittle stars. You’re absolutely entitled to ignore me if you want.

1) i dont remember if youve explained this before but what do the names lirjie, Kashan, Ayane, Gurri and Irreneth (once again a test of my spelling abilities lol) mean ?

2) how many biological kids do you thing Oren has ? It was my belief that elves have relatively slow reproduction rates with people like Feanor, Finwe etc being the exception. Is this different with uruk ?

3) how likely is it that Ayane has moved on from Oren ? This might be spoilery so you can skip this one, I’m just desperate for them get back together and have a healthy healed relationship

4) what do the parents of the original Uruks (eg. Oren Ayane all the rest) feel about the orcish grandchildren ?

5) Will Irreneth’s husband appear. Whats his feelings on everything going on?

6) Will Orens friends who he was captured with ever be reborn? If they didnt survive the transformation into Uruk does this mean they died young? Like Oren being a fully grown adult with thousands of years of misery behind him reuniting with his childhood friend, a tortured teenager.

7) will the scholars in Valinor be excited about Oren’s existence as a surving Uruk and his book(s) explaining the Uruk?

I think thats all I’ve got just now. Please don’t feel this is me pushing you to write a sequel, it’s absolutely up to you, no need to feel rushed and you’re more than welcome to ignore me. Once again love your work!

Oohoo, more good questions! Some of these I HAVE thought about and have an answer to, and some I'm just going to be pulling out of my ass. Which is which? It's a mystery. :)

Meaning of names. Okay I'm going to admit here. All of these names you listed were made up based on sound rather than meaning. I like doing it that way for two reasons, and those are 1) I'm the kind of nerd who usually knows right away what your OC's name means, which is a superpower I do not like having because it tends to kick me out of the story and into Elf Thoughts Mode (so I explicitly DO NOT want people to immediately know what my OCs names mean), and 2) I... don't really care too much what the names mean as long as they sound cool. Anyway, what I usually do for names is muck around with words until I get something I like, focusing 80% on sound and 20% on meaning. And that 20% on meaning is pretty much just making sure it doesn't mean anything horrid like "death carpet". Kashân is sort of explained in the story, though Adar himself admits he doesn't know what it means. He just liked the sound. But it's from the Valarin word akašān meaning "he says". (This does make sense in the context of the chapter I promise.) Gûri, on the other hand, is just the Gnomish word 'sweet' (basic-ass baby name right there), chosen because it also fits Black Speech phonology. Lirjë is the root verb lir (sing) with the sort of abstract noun ending -ja attached, then morphed from Lirja to Lirjë to make it a feminine name that means something like 'song'. Ayánë means something vaguely related to (but not exactly 100% spot on) 'blessed': from ayanā (to bless). And finally Irenneth is the most problematic of the bunch. Originally her name was Iranneth, but then I decided I liked the sound of Irenneth better. And DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? 'The kinship lady': i-rend-eth. It was so stupid I had to keep it. Absolute chef's kiss of a name. Perfect.

How many biological kids does Óren have? Five that survived infancy that he knows of for sure. After that, he made a point of not keeping track of which were his, so the final count is unknown. But definitely far more than would ever be seen among elves. Tolkien mentions that elves have few children, both because children are dear to them and they want to devote sufficient time to raising each child, but also because significant physical and mental strength goes into the creation of each child. I don't think either of these limitations would be placed on the uruk. They don't put much (if any) care into raising each child, and nor do they invest anywhere near as much spiritual energy as an elf would in the child's creation, with the shortfall being made up by Morgoth's interference in the process. (At least at first with the captured elves.) As such, they're able to reproduce at a far greater rate than their elven kin.

How likely is it that Ayánë has moved on? Okay this question WOULD give massive spoilers for the patchy plot I'm slowly assembling for a sequel, so I won't say anything here. But if you do want to know just message again and I'll answer privately.

What do the parents think of the orcish grandchildren? I think they'd be horrified and try not to think about it. They learn, at some point down the line, that they're blood relatives of all these monsters that are attacking and killing their people. At early times in history, I don't think they'd be at all sympathetic, and would probably be more inclined to try to prove their distance by being some of the most vocal opponents. But maybe much later, if Óren is reunited with his parents, he can get them to come around to not just blindly hating the uruk.

Will Irenneth's husband appear? LMAO maybe? Right now he's kind of a non-character, but I did, in early (imaginary) drafts of some chapters, have scenes in which he actually appeared as more than an offhand mention. So maybe in the future he'll get a speaking role. But so far he only exists because logically Ellaer needed a dad and it would be narratively more complicated to kill him off than just keep him out of the way in the background. I don't foresee him ever being important, though.

Will Óren's friends ever be reborn? I'm going to go with... probably not. The external reason is I'm just not a huge fan of elf rebirth storylines (not against them either, but it's just not a scenario that I've ever wanted to write). The internal reason is they died in Utumno before the elves were ever found by the Valar, and would have become unhoused spirits tormented by that horrible death for years before the call of Mandos ever came into being. And would they heed that, or trust it at all? Probably not. They'd remain ghosts in the north of Palisor and eventually fade from the world entirely.

Will scholars in Valinor be excited by Óren's uruk-scholarship? LOL this is another large-scale plot spoiler for the allegedly forthcoming sequel. And also I haven't entirely decided yet. And even the aspects I think I've decided are up in the air and subject to change until written, which is a ways off yet. But this is a topic that should be addressed. Again, if you want spoilers, lmk and I'll answer privately.

Thank you again for the ask! You are making me do work and think about these questions, which is honestly good for figuring some stuff out on my end.

#brittle stars #elf thoughts #kitcat22

[lunarifie]

Rewatching Ninjago

(with no context other than the episode)

Sons of Garmadon episodes 1-2

Omg omg omg im so excited u have no idea, their new designs were like the beginning of a new age to me

I remember Harumi and MOST of the plot so im pumped to see all of this again

this is when the animation got GOOD, ik it only gets better but i think this was the turning point

LLOYD

Lloyd hit puberty 😶

i think everyone can agree this is when Lloyd truly became their favorite

It was so clever to make it look like the oni mask ninjas were the ACTUAL ninjas only to have Lloyd swoop in.

AAAA THE ANIMATION HIS GREEN MAGIC AJFISNFJD EVERYTHINGS SO COOL

AAAAND HE SAVED ONE OF THE ONI MASK GUYS THATS OUR BOY

Why does pixal sound so different 🤨

“MASTER LLOYD”

I forgot wu was gone :(

Lloyd (after getting his car): I could kiss you pix!

Pixal: I don’t think Zane would approve

Shes so funny

AND “PIX” THATS SUCH A CUTE PETNAME

wait omg i forgot Nya never learned who Samurai X 2.0 was omg thats still gonna be a plot point

This chase scenes so good

THEY HAVE EYE COLORS NOW, WELL AT LEAST LLOYD DOES

Why are the villains always in the sewers

Wait. Ik this scene. her highness, the queen, the girlboss.

I remember screaming at this scene when i was younger

GOD this scene was so fucking good

Nya: Thirsty..?

AAAAAAAA

My favorite part out of all of this was probably how the slave henchmen were like “Its nya! The master of water!” So fearfully instead of “its the girl ninja.” You can tell she really earned a title for herself and finally got some goddamn respect.

AGAIN. THE FUCKING ANIMATION.

COLE AND JAY COLE AND JAY COLE AND JAY COLE AND JAY

I love these idiots

Jay: Cole you’re my best friend but your also my worst enemy

Jay speaking facts fr

Cole: If someone went into the past who knows how our present would be altered! We could look completely different and not even know it!

Jay: But we dont! (Promptly takes off his mask, looking completely different)

With all due respect this is probably the funniest line in the episode

I missed these idiots sm

Cole: Wherever Wu is… Its been a year.

ITS BEEN A YEAR?!?!?!

Cole: Hello! Im Cole, master of earth, this is Jay, master of blabber.

Nvm this is the funniest

Why is Jay like, so abliest sometimes 💀

Jay (screaming): CAN YOU POINT US TO HIM???

Like dude just because they cant speak doesnt mean theyre deaf 😭

Jay: Wait! If Wu lost his memory, dont remind him of that stupid TV show i hosted, okay?

THEY REMEMBERED DJFNSKFNFJNSBTNS I LOVE THIS SM

Cole (after seeing it wasnt Wu): Im tired of losing people in my life

God damn hitting us hard huh.

Im gonna start making a Everytime-Cole-Shows-Signs-of-Abandonment-Issues bingo card

Jay: Wus wise, he’d find a way to alert us.

Wus a baby. A literal child.

Jay and Cole were so annoying that they had a MONK break his VOW OF SILENCE

Jay and Cole not only had Monks break their vow of silence, they had the monks ATTACK THEM.

ZANES EYES AAA ALL THEIR DESIGNS ARE SO AMAZING

AND KAIS!!!! KAI IS SO COOL.

Oh yeah. And the mechanic from that one prison. Still super pissed he tried to take apart Zane.

Zane (trying to impress Kai): Who likes ice cream? I DO! how was that for a one liner Kai?

Oppositeshipping growing on me

Kai (frozen like a popsicle): needs a little work….

THE GANGS ALL HERE 🥰

Nyas giggles are so cute

Jay: Soooo? Are we gonna talk about it?

Lloyd: What?

Cole: Your voice! Its-

Zane (deep autotune voice): Lower.

THATS WHAT IM SAYING

Its so much nicer to listen to too, no hate to the last voice actor

I just pictured Lloyds old voice in my head bc its so distinct and omfg its so different

Wait so Lloyds mom is GONE? She left him to search for Wu, just like that?

I can get why some ppl hate her now.

Love how Nya grew to be patient with Jay and his idiotcy

The oni masks are rlly cool

The royal family of ninjago never confused me until now. Are they just royal descendants? I dont think they rule ninjago

I love Zanes switch from robot him to human him

Im gonna ignore the whole romantic plot with Lloyd and Harumi since like, Garmadon Practically adopts her later 🫠

Love the ninjas banter, especially Nya and her hate for high chair figureheads and government officials.

Zanes also speaking facts tho, traditions just as important

Its so hard to imagine that Lloyds younger than the other ninja with how mature he acts, until you realize its more of him acting like an angsty begrudged teen while the Ninja are all in their weird 19 early-20s

I love Nyas armor

Her attitudes the best 😭

Miss “theyre just figureheads 🙄” Miss “TOO much gold if im being honest, not THAT impressive 😒”

JFNDJFNDJNE LLOYD HITTING NYA SO SHE BOWS

The way Harumi/Jade Princess insults the ninja but also compliments them is so funny to me

With how personal she understands them I should have known she was the Quiet One from the start

Jade Princess: I understand you Lloyd, my parents also died when i was little

Jay, who is adopted, struggling with the the concept of adoption: wait what? But your parents are right there? 🤨

Jay: Ever since master Wu went missing Coles been a real party pooper!

DAMN💀

Jay thats so mean everyone grieves in their own way

Zane: Party? Pooper?

Jay: ill explain later

Jay (autistic) teaching learned social cues to Zane (autistic) is probably my favorite HC

Kai: Secret passage way you say… is it, HERE! (Grabs a random book from a shelf)

Kai is such a little guy, so blorbolike, my little hometown boy

I love him.

Kai, stop grabbing and throwing books 😭

The way the counsel guy just stares at Kai as he trashes the book shelf 💀

The ninjas are just so bad at first impressions i love them

Jays lil ‘hiding behind anyone near him when hes slightly unnerved/scared’ is my favorite jay quirk, as well as the raptor hands he keeps in front of him

The fancy romance music for Harumi is so funny to me

Why did Lloyd think it was just OKAY to look in her room while shes preparing her makeup

Nya and Kai: (super serious keeping watch and suspecting the counsel)

Jay and Cole: (attacking the buffet)

Rlly shows their dynamics 😭

Omg princess harumi was kidnapped 😱

Lmaooo jk i remember this

Does Harumi become redeemable after??? Bc why does she help the poor? Is that like, an actual good trait or did she do it just this once to trick lloyd?

Okay but this Lloyd and harumi chase scene is so cool I remember truly believing she was kidnapped

UGHHH why did harumi have to be evil and ALSO his sorta-step-sibling they seemed to have sm potential at first

I still find her whole character so fascinating but I kinda miss what she could have been

Harumi: Patient little ones 🥰

The way she talks is so funny im so excited for her to be an absolute menace

Omfg she stopped Lloyd from fighting the sons of garmadon because she knew she’d have to interfere and they would potentially reveal her…

Just the knowledge that shes faking everything is crazy

SAMURAI X!!!!!!!! PIXAL!!!! ❤️

RUMI! AWWWWW thats such a cute cutename

Its hilarious how the ninja thought counsel man was a villain just bc he was a dick

I hate ninjago ACTUALLY making the whole ‘Lloyd crushing on harumi’ thing real only to show that Harumi practically becomes his adopted sister later on

Truly believe that Cole saying ‘you gotta break things to impress a woman’ perfectly shows he has no experience flirting with the opposite gender

Jay: You gotta make her laugh! Ask nya, she couldn’t resist my sense of humor!

Nya: (knocks jay on his ass) its an… acquired taste…

Harumi was really like, ‘okay, guess everyone thinks Lloyd and I have a thing going on, guess ill roll with it.’ And fully JUMPED HEADFIRST into the princess with a crush role. Like She doesnt even know Lloyds around and shes faking for her PARENTS

Oooooo Ultra Violet!!!!

I remember not really liking Kai as first but hes grown on me, kinda like Lloyd

COLE FLASHBACK COLE FLASHBACK

that transition was so clean tho

I love how they use Coles old design to animate the past

OMG THIS IS WHEN WE GET INFO ON COLES DEAD MOM

Coles rlly in it if hes traumadumping to a random old man on a mountain 💀

Cole: My dads always out singing and dancing… He leaves all the responsibilites and chores for me!

Damn. thats actually so sad. he had to grow up so quick. No wonder he was the leader before Lloyd.

I love Coles subtle character development and how the fandom interprets him. At first he was an uptight serious leader who needed to be the solid rock in the formation. Now he’s more relaxed, obviously due to the friends he surrounds himself with. The fandom sees that and exaggerates him as a relaxed big bear kinda guy and i love that for him.

Im literally so mad i cant screenshot netflix, Cole in the sunset was so pretty i wouldve loved to draw him

Ooooo Counsel Hutchins has a secret passageway…. To where?

I love how ninjago will hint at serious themes like gun violence by the sound of gunshots and calling bombs ‘blastzaps’ 💀

Omfg did the palace EXPLODE?!?!?!?

Ultra Violet: (choking Kai with her thighs)

Kai (suffocating): I- I didnt even get your name—

NFJDNNFKDNSBFNSNF

HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THIS ADULT JOKE LAST TIME 😭😭😭😭😭

(Counsel getting interrogated and held down by Lloyd and a sphere comes for BOTH of them)

Lloyd: You saved me…

Lloyd can be such a dumb blonde sometimes

I CANT BELIEVE HARUMI WAS FAKING COUGHING IN THE FIRE TOO LIKE WHAT YOUUUU BLEW THE PALACE UP

Holy shit Zanes spinjitzu is so cool

Wait wait wait

Why would Harumi even MENTION the mask if she wanted to retrieve it??? Did the writers wanna throw the scent off of her THAT bad

Holy shit the mask is cool as fuck

Jay: Really? Four arms? Like thats new.

HBFKSNGJD

I love imagining the voice actors going ‘WACHA’ and other ninja noises

I feel like I haven’t stressed enough about how much I love their elemental powers now

Counsel hitchins: That mask of deception was a fake…

Harumi: A FAKE- i mean, a fake 🥺

Counsel: Im sorry, i couldnt trust the ninja just yet.

the irony is incredible

Counsel hitchins is actually such a great guy, bless him

Wait do the royal family die. Istg if they die im gonna be so sad

LLOYD LIFTED A MOTORCYCLE LIKE IT WAS NOTHING

Lloyds so cool

You KNOW the sons of garmadon are laughing at Lloyd saving Harumi

I love Violets screeches

STOP. THAT WAS SO SMART OF LLOYD

The definition of think smarter not harder

God Lloyds been through it fr

And for what??? What has he done??? Literally valueing Harumis life over the mask only to have her betray him

Give my boy a break

WAIT WAIT WAIT

ITS THE DESTINYS BOUNTY!!!!!!

Its looks so rusty and old tho? How long has it been since they used it?

Istfg the rest of these seasons the villains have to leave the bounty alone, its like the ninjas only consistent home, please just let it be 😭😭😭

Harumi: What about the emperor and empress? Hutchins? Are they…

Nya: Im sorry princess, they didnt make it…

So. The royal families just DEAD? They really reeled us in with the whole ‘theyre the only ones left of their bloodline’ AND THEN JUST KILLED THEM. HARUMIS ADOPTED. SHES NOT EVEN ROYAL BLOOD. THEYRE JUST DEAD.

Theres like a twisted sorta feeling watching this and KNOWING everything went as harumi wanted. This was her plan to the T.

#ninjago #lego ninjago #sons of garmadon #Rewatching Ninjago

[angelboybreakdowns]

i hate living with a family of nts. to explain why i do (im not feeling very articulate right now), heres an approximation of a conversation i had earlier.

(context: its very hard for me to work up the willpower to shower because i hate showering. i had been about to shower, and when i was grabbing a towel, she came up to me, grabbed a towel too, and literally ran downstairs to shower before i could. i cant sleep with wet hair, and my hair takes about 5 hours to fully dry. she took a 20-minute shower. i now do not have time to shower, meaning ill have to do it tomorrow morning. this has messed up my whole schedule. i told her all this as she was going downstairs, and she yelled back that she didnt care. so theres very little chance she didnt know this would upset me.)

me (to my mother, in reference to dinner plans): “id rather not eat dinner with her tonight, and you know i really dont like pasta. ill make something else and eat outside.”

sister: “are you seriously angry at me?”

me: “yes.”

her: “why?”

me: “frankly, im pretty sure you know why, and even if you dont id rather not interact with you right now and i know telling you would start an argument.”

her: “thats so fucking stupid. if you dont tell me, i wont know what i did wrong, so i wont be able to stop doing it.”

me: “yep, im aware. but i do not want an argument right now. lets just not talk to each other.”

her (raising her voice now): “clearly youre just being a bitch, if you were actually angry about something youd be able to explain it.”

me: “i am able to, im just choosing not to. please leave me alone.”

her: dont remember the exact wording, but a rant about how rude and selfish (??) im being by not telling her why im upset. again, as stated above, i had explained to her in clear terms, about 20 minutes before this, why i took issue with what she was doing.

i stayed silent.

her (to my mother, in a mocking/condescending tone): “aw, poor [autisticboybreakdowns] is having a hard time explaining [him]self.”

me: “no, im not. i could articulate my issue. im choosing not to. and you know i dont like when you do that. youre acting like im two years old.”

her: screaming rant about how im being rude, how im a bitch, just like my exfather, etc. this devolved into an argument about ableism that i dont feel is necessary to get into.

so if i dont explain why i dislike something she did, i get screamed at. if i do, i also get screamed at (and compared to my exfather as well, wowee). its so fucking hypocritical. theres no way to win. and literally every nt ive met is like this - not always to the point of screaming, but its always damned if you say why youre upset, damned if you dont. i dont get it.

#autism #actually autistic #autistic #neurodivergent #adhd #actually neurodivergent #autism/adhd #actually adhd #actuallyautistic #neurodivergence #autistic experiences #vent #personal vent #vent cw

[breathplayed]

17, 29, 48, & 55 😁🫖

oh u GOT me got me lets go

(17) what is your favorite line you’ve ever written? babe plz this one is too hard..... there's too many...... I HAVE 920K WORDS ON AO3 AND ~50K INCOMING I DONT EVEN REMEMBER THEM ALL......... uuhhhhhhhh ok ok ill try to narrow a few down. it's all gonna be recent tho bc that's what i remember most + i have rly been indulging myself stylistically as of late lmao

for just ~pretty language~ my favorites rn are

"Jimin is almost too pretty to mar with mortal hands, but Jungkook finds desecration is half the fun when his hands slip lower" (folie à trois)

"Some floodgate inside him has broken, the last bastion of resistance crumbled, and now he’s a drowning man in the dead waters" (folie à trois)

“I love you,” he whimpers into Taehyung’s kiss like a prayer. Too devout; Taehyung’s hands and lips pause. Jimin’s own lip is already trembling, caught, so he lets the confessional spill like it’s the last Sunday he’ll ever see." (the losing game ch17)

"[Taehyung] used to dream, sometimes, after Jimin was gone, that he was holding him again, that he could crack open Jimin's ribcage and crawl inside to make a home beside his heart before they burned together." (the losing game ch5)

"Sometimes—in his darkest moments, on his worst nights—Jimin dreams about Taehyung carving over each and every one of his scars. Creating clean new edges to each of them, prying fingers in the wound to be as close as possible, rewriting their memories and meanings with a jagged, almost unbearable intimacy." (the losing game ch17)

"The graves we dig ourselves are often the deepest." (the graves we dig..... now thats a real throwback huh)

there's too much i could say for dialogue but.... i'm super fond of the hurtful conversations present!vmin have in tlg (especially ch14, i reread that a lot), ignite the stars ch5 (also reread that a lot), and also i love pretty much everything that comes out of taehyung's mouth in folie à trois lol

(29) give us a spoiler for one of your stories. answered here, but since this one could be answered multiple times i'll bite......... my queue tag ("i'm glad it was queue") is a play on one of my favorite lines in all of tlg that i have been excited about getting to for yeaaaarrrssss. no one but me knows the line yet (or how hurtful its context is) bc it's in one of the final chapters hehehe but it's "i'm glad it was you" ..... :')

(48) do you reread your own stories? the answer to this used to be a strong NO!!!! but that has actually changed in the last two years! i don't rly reread anything older (my writing style has changed so much + there's things i'd change about older fics esp <2020 so it's not an enjoyable experience to me, i'd just fret over editing it) but there's some newer fics i reread bc they are So written to my own taste. i think i really improved a lot getting to write a bunch in lockdown lol + started caring less about whether ppl liked the fic and just wrote for ✨Me✨ so several of those recent fics i'm happy with and do reread sometimes like a stupid idiot narcissus

The ones i've reread the most are "sit, stay" + "sea legs" + favorite parts of "ignite the stars" and my favorite parts of "the losing game". the other scattered pwp's since 2020 have gotten reread about twice each. and i recently reread WBIO for the first time since writing it in early 2020!!! mixed feelings on that one bc i felt like i would change some parts of it if i wrote it today but that's a sign ur growing and improving i suppose

(55) do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them? oh i have so fucking many 'WIPs' it's not even funny. there's probably like ~12 completely bullet point outlined medium length / longfics in my docs down to exact dialogue i'd write, and dozens more fic attempts that have a whole plot and ending. bc as soon as i come up with an idea i already immediately know how i want it to end. which gives me way too many Plot Bunnies that are viable to be turned into fics!!!!! two years ago i made a list of every idea i thought should at least see the light of day in threadfic form if not an actual fic and it came out to 30 fics lol (and that was cutting it down to the essentials)

the thing is, very few of my WIPs are ever 'abandoned' in my mind, it's more like... i put them in my mental freezer. on hold / on ice. and some of them are closer to the front and get taken out and rotated around and worked on more often, while others are shoved to the far back of the freezer as i say "i'll make that someday" and forget it exists til the next time im reminded of it. there's only a few that i'd actually toss in the trash (aka truly abandon and never work on again).

the ones that are definitely abandoned in that i know i dont Want to write them are all on the more domestic romcom side (think like 'meaner than mean' or 'i like us like this') i know people like those but they're the hardest thing for me to write, those were the most annoyed i've ever felt while writing, i would literally groan out loud working on them, i am rly only happy writing conflict/angst or pwp lol

tbh, if i were to be realistic with myself, i'd say most of these wip's are 'abandoned' in that i probably will never get around to finishing them. but i dont want to call them abandoned because i do like the plots, and think ppl would like them, and want to share them!!! i just think they would suck / not be fun to write. Maybe Someday i will do an archival effort and work on translating as many of them as i can into threadfic form so they see the light of day in some format and are no longer abandoned to rot in my docs... bc there's no way that most of them are ever going to be written the way i wish i could do them justice :') and then i can abandon them knowing that ppl at least got to read a vague outline of what could have been

fun fact: i opened the aforementioned list of all these ideas to count and on one of them, a fic i've been poking at since 2018, i have the note "finish this or die" next to it. guess i know which one i've picked atp 🪦

#ask game

[cxsmicmyeon]

You said friends should send their opinions about the Junmyeon thing. And like yeah they tease him but he always gives it back too? He would relentlessly tease Jongdae for instance, when Jongdae is the one who says Junmyeon is his bias in EXO - so you know hyper focusing in on how your fave is the one being treated badly is a weird mindset if you can not acknowledge all the way he gives that back and teases the other members too. Another example I could think of about Junmyeon saying something that out of context could seem quite mean spirited is when during the aquarium visit in climb the ladder he mentioned that Beluga whale's IQ is the same es Sehun's. If anon wants to bring up how members behaviour looks to non fans then how does Junmyeon calling the maknae stupid look to outsiders? I am not saying this to attack Junmyeon but merely to illustrate my point that this kind of thing is something they all do. He isn't the one victim TM in this group. Plenty of times someone else is the butt of the joke. Often even jokes made by Junmyeon. These guys even found ways to clown on Kyungsoo non verbally when he made a hand gesture to shoo the camera away they all copied him. Its like they are us here on tumblr with stupid shit becoming a meme in their group immediately kinda like how vanilla extract was a thing. And you don't have to find every meme funny. Just like you don't have to find their jokes funny. But they are jokes. Among friends. And francly you are doing a little too much self projecting onto your bias if you think he is the only one in the crosslines of this kind of bad fun. Like maybe if we tally up every joke on every aired second of exo content out there we can draw percentages of who they make fun of the most often. But what would be the point of that other than giving fans another metric for in fighting. Like do the solo stans of the members that get made fun of the most get to then go on and hate everyone else. People already hate each other over whose fave has the least amount of views the least amount of screentime the least jobs etc etc. We gotta stop doing this its ridiculous. Because these boys love each other. They have proven over nearly 11 years just how much they love each other genuinely so dredging up who said what about whom in order to sow discourse is in my opinion so so stupid

this is perf. just great points all across rina.

like i have been saying there is no malice or ill intentions with the joking around because they've known each other for so long. also not to mention theyre all grown adults so im pretty sure they can take light hearted teasing lol.

idk i never really saw this as some sort of issue considering the fact thats just what theyre like and everyone dishes it out and takes it. just bc theres teasing doesnt mean they dont like each other as ive said they are nothing but supportive of each other and have been for 11+ years.

i do wanna give anon the benefit of the doubt maybe theyre new to the fandom and arent aware of the dynamic just yet but never in my years of stanning did i think any member was a target in bad intentioned making fun and im kinda upset i was doubting it ngl

exo will always be together and are 9. exo will always be there for each other. i hope this makes sense im tired lol

#asks #friend asks! #anon i hope u see this and understand

[strawberrybabydog]

stranger things s4 hit us again with the "explicitely labelling a person as schizophrenic and then making them be creepy and dangerous" no it still doesnt matter that this person is not actually schizophrenic and they are telling the truth according to context and fantasy, thats not the point. this is still sanism. they could have said "old and crazy" "mentally ill" but they SPECIFICALLY chose schizophrenia, once again, to utilize sanist horror tropes that schizophrenics are dangerous and creepy. they could have written Viktor Creel as a traumatized (and maybe weird) but harmless and kind old man who the protagonists have compassion and sympathy for. but their cinematography, writing, set, prosthetics show otherwise. if they wanted to write him as being a creepy and borderline dangerous person Dont Call Him Schizophrenic. be vague, call him something else. the writers arent stupid, they knew what they were doing here.

im also not a huge fan of them making said character be eyeless due to a suicide attempt and then being like "look so creepy." hey man! blindness and suicide attempts are not creepy. not great to associate a person who is blind due to trauma with horror and danger. once again using an ableist trope that disabled bodies are inherently scary looking. the scariest looking thing about him being eyeless is that he clearly doesnt have proper healthcare...

so is sanism that, although they have so far not said "psycho/psychotic/etc" that much compared to last season, They Have Still Said It!

its actually really easy to not be sanist ableist racist and antisemetic on a professional team of writers! its actually really fuckin easy. its really easy to have schizophrenic and disabled characters and treat them with compassion like Normal People, rather than objectifying them for Le Scary.

btw if ur takeaway from this post is "but the audience knows hes not schizophrenic and hes telling the truth, therefore this criticism is invalid" u have missed the point entirely & also i really dont want to hear it. im schizophrenic, im saying its bad and i have explained why. telling me "Actually, This Isnt Bad" ur talking over schizophrenic people about things we specifically experience and you do not! dont tell me its fine that the ONLY representation we get in media is that we're scary and dangerous. its not. i have PERSONALLY experienced the fallout of "schizophrenia Creepy Danger" in real life multiple times.

you can still like stranger things. i still like it. i think it has a cool premise, and im gonna keep watching it (im too invested LOL) infact i identify a lot with eleven's past of being a lab experiment, which i think ive talked about before. being critical of media and being aware of its issues doesnt mean you NEED to hate it or denounce it. you can if you want to, i have friends who hate ST because of this and other issues. if the sanism bugs you too much, dont watch it. if you still like the show afterwards, who cares? just be critical of it. understand its bad representation. dont let whats happening on-screen effect how you view and treat real people. if you notice it does, get that shit in line.

when you watch scenes like this, ask "is Viktor Creel a good representation of schizophrenic people? would my good internet friend and best dog ever, babydog, behave this way if it was telling me it's trauma or delusions?" (hint: this entire blog is dedicated to re-telling my trauma and delusions! i have not once been creepy or dangerous about it)

#sry just dont want the stranger thingies hunting my ass again #idk what they call themselves like the fandom LOL idk if it has a name but stranger thingies is kinda funny #media #on sanism #schizophrenia #schizocanidae #on ableism #suicide mention #not dog

[debtdeath]

look man you’d have to be wilfully stupid to label yourself as a “proshipper” in 2022 lol. the way the “discourse” about this stuff has seemingly devolved since the inception of the term and the idea that “darker themes can be explored” became co-opted by absolute ghouls who just want to be the Edgiest Person On The Internet, you’d have to be either ignorant or an absolute idiot to want to stick with the term. the well is poisoned and theres nothing you can do about it.

putting this under read more bc i wrote a lot more than i thought i would:

i personally think the real danger about like, “proship” people isnt so much the content that they indulge into, which i think can be responsibly, carefully, tactfully and usually privately thought about, and if shared at least within an appropriate context and forewarning that would then technically qualify as “harmless”.

this is where moderation and tagging is important. there is a difference between talking about/writing about upsetting or “taboo” content as part of a piece that is meant to be serious, and including upsetting content for shits and giggles or purely for jerk off material lol. unfortunately it’s pretty much impossible to stop people from doing the latter, but you can create spaces where you dont have to be confronted to that stuff when you dont want to see it. hence moderation on bespoke online spaces (discord servers, forums), and tagging and the ability to block the tags on online spaces where Everyone Is On The Same Website (twitter, tumblr, ao3, whatever). it’s not perfect, but it’s something.

anyway, i reckon the real danger is the normalisation and fetishisation (not necessarily sexual fetishism, but closer to its use in the marxist term commodity fetishism) of upsetting content, and the subsequent alienation of people who are interested in exploring these themes but have no place to really do that other than “proship” spaces that are usually unsafe, unmoderated and usually always end up being all about the cult of Just How Disturbing You Can Be. there is a ramping up here, a slippery slope that actually fucks people up long term. that’s the real harm. thats the real danger.

i am not using the term “cult” liberally here, recruitment tactics are similar in other cults like TERF groups, fascist groups, cryptocurrency schemes and conspiracy theorists. i’ve been on the internet long enough to understand how these things work, and to tie this back to the idea of moderation and tagging, truth is you’re better off knowing how and where to keep an eye on these weirdos, so when they inevitably try to infiltrate your space you recognise them and tell them to fuck off, and so when they show up on your tumblr dashboard you recognise that some Bullshit is going on and you just ignore and block them, and flag them to your peers if you want. yes, it’s a lot of effort, yes i wish it was easier, but it is what it is.

basically, an individual person shipping a problematic pairing isnt dangerous, but when there are enough people that exacerbate each other’s persecution complex and go more and more into extremes, that’s when it crosses the boundaries of “just exploring dark themes” into irresponsibly putting yourself and others in harm’s way.

i dont really talk about this stuff publicly because it’s discourse that is too far gone to bring any semblance of nuance back into it, so im like just throw it all into the trash lol. but the point is, if you label yourself as a proshipper in the year of the lord 2022 then you should really think about what it means, what it signals to others, what kind of people it attracts.

#cc.txt #so sorry i have so many thoughts about this shit