#but like it’s sounds kinda true

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

something i've been thinking about:

Wally is set up as a sort of "main character" by the whrp. he's said in the site's description of the show to have introduced the main theme/lesson of the day's episode, and then the rest of the neighbors join him on his escapades. but then we have our first glimpses of everyone's actual dynamics and characters through the audios and you look at Wally and its like

first of all, thats an npc. second, nearly everybody else has severe main character syndrome

but its fascinating how Wally is just kind of... There. he doesnt talk much. he doesnt contribute beyond a couple of lines. its more like he joins the others on their shenanigans. he fades into the background. he's off to the side while everyone else holds conversations & leads the moment

Wally, despite being described as Thee character, is borderline background.

& whats even more interesting, within his individual secret audio files and interactions - he's almost chatty. not only that but the way he talks is more confident and faster paced. he's taking initiative. he can be kinda pushy. when talking to the qa/whrp/Us, he acts more like the character his descriptions portray. he acts more like a person instead of a puppet waiting for his next cue

I cant tell if - when around the neighbors - his tepid milk behavior is a purposeful act or if he's masking. and if he's masking, is it deliberate or involuntary? and in regards to both, why is he acting so different? It could be tied to what he's trying to accomplish. if he's trying to "restore" Welcome Home, it would make sense for him to act as he does around the neighbors - he wouldnt want to clue them in that he knows so much more than he's letting on, would he?

but then that begs another train of thought - what if he isn't acting or masking? if there is a time discrepancy between Wally's interactions with the qa/whrp/Us & the more 'official' audios, that could explain the difference in behavior. we could be getting glimpses into "future" (read: current) Wally, who's had much more time to figure himself out since we can safely assume he started out as a blank slate. we could be seeing a more experienced Wally than the one seen with his friends.

of course that line of thinking loses some merit when considering the 14 "bug" audios. or it could lend to it... if we're seeing a more experienced Wally but his friends are only seeing what he allows them to. it's still him, just... a carefully curated version.

in general it could really tie into the themes of identity and change and being other, to me. when you're so different - or you feel so different - that you can't bring yourself to be your most authentic you around your friends. when you feel like you have to hold back and be who you think they expect you to be, or what would be most palatable. most normal. will they accept you as you really are? there's always the fear and terror that the people you consider closest to you won't. or when you're so scared of change that you'll shove down & lock away parts of yourself so that you can keep things as you are. because once they know you've changed, so will they. and really, do you want to even accept that you've changed? what if that's what scares you most of all - that you're different, you've metamorphosized, you can't go back to the way things were because you yourself are no longer the person you were before. there is no reversing this no matter how much you try or pretend

#its just so fascinating #the whrp: wally's The Guy! #wally (with his friends): the most lukewarm dude ever #then he's alone or alone with home and its like Hi My Name Is Wally Darling & Welcome To Jackass *off-tune guitar riff* #bbg has ✨problems✨ #and like - im giving all of his stuff a re-listen to make sure im not misremembering or completely talking out of my ass #but his phone call? the way his VA is delivering the lines seems So fuckign different than in the shared audios #his tone is flatter. he sounds more sure of his words and himself. he Sounds like he's in control and knows it. #immediately going from that to a shared audio where he puts more inflection in his voice & doesnt talk much #and when he does talk its slow. meandering. his lines are more befitting of his audience surrogate role #which only makes me feel more like he's acting/masking (again: if that time discrepancy does indeed exist) #which - as someone who kinda compulsively masks around Literally Everyone no matter how much i want to Not - it kinda hits hard! #i suspect that he Is masking instead of acting. he's The Most Autism as we all know so it would more than fit #and that could add an extra layer if it's automatic and he can't turn it off. or if he doesn't want to turn it off #but also acting... a misplaced attempt to protect his friends and world? not feeling like he can share his 'true' self? augh #wally darling you make me unwell. i want to dissect you #wh speculation #welcome home speculation #homebogging #and then listening to his little record audios #he starts out talking like he does in the shared audios and then slowly gains confidence until he's speaking more like he does in the call #just. wally not being talkative in the neighborhood to the point where everyone's like 'yeah wally isnt much of a talker' #vs him chatting away to the qa/whrp/Us #of course it could be because he has to carry the entire conversation on his own #But. but. you can still carry a one sided conversation and be hesitant or awkward or um. missing the word rn but short-sentenced #brief? succinct? concise? #wally's fully trying to make conversation with someone he knows can't reply. which is interesting #so many ways to take that. well. three #maybe he doesnt feel listened to in his day to day life / he feels more comfortable and can relax / hes been alone for a long while #anyway there may be more ways to take this but this is all my tiny poppyseed brain can reach atm

[softesttangerines]

Ok, idc how wrong of a theory it is that Rayleigh is Mihawk's dad but i'm obsessed with the fact that Mihawk probably didnt get to see much of his dad while growing up because of his pirate life.

And on the rare occasions when he gets to see him, he's constantly sulky because Rayleigh keeps talking about these two other kids that he adopted with his captain and how "You would totally love Shanks and Buggy, Hawks. They are trouble makers but i'm sure you would get along!"

And Mihawk isn't so sure he would love the kids that stole his dad from him so he just humphs his way out of the conversation everytime. He did ask his dad to take him with him on his adventures since it's kids safe (he's bound to think that when there are two kids, younger than him, parading on the ship) but Rayleigh always refuses because he wants his son to live away from piracy, an honest and safe life.

(Except, joke's on him. Mihawk had his rebellion phase and said fuck you, dad! Discovered his obsession with swords and went on his own adventures.)

Fastforward, post Roger's execution, Mihawk meets Shanks for the first time and the bitter feelings he had from his childhood resurface and he's full on grudge and salty so he challenges him to a duel to kick his ass. Except, to his surprise, Shanks is actually a decent opponent and instead of wanting to kick his ass, he relishes in the fact that he finally found someone that keeps up with him, so he keeps coming back asking for more duels.

On the other hand, Shanks sees this dark haired guy with magnificent yellow eyes and he knows him, he knows him from his bounty posters and because Rayleigh has spoken few times when he cameback to the crew from his short family visits about his stubborn son, and he wonders if Mihawk knows him or if the guy just randomly challenges people with no regard to his life.

Obviously, to no one's surprise he falls in love mid fight, with the sassy quips (now he confirmed that Mihawk does in fact know him and he does seem angry about something) the audacity to roll his eyes in the middle of a fight and he's absolutely breathtaking with a sword in his hands. Shanks wants to impress him no matter what since this guy seems to genuinely be onto the fight and ignoring his flirty comments. He figured he did impress him a bit, if the way that Mihawk said they'd meet soon again is anything to go by.

Bonus:

Mihawk took an immediate like to Buggy when he met him but he refuses to admit it to anyone ever, especially not the clown himself but he does enjoy teasing Shanks that Buggy was much easier to "tolerate" first, just to get a raise out of him.

+

Rayleigh is totally against two of his boys dating each other but Mihawk keeps telling him off ("You were barely ever here for me as a dad, you don't get to boss me around!") and Shanks is too busy being heart eyes to listen to any word coming from the man. At the end, he just ends up giving both of them the shovel talk.

#mishanks #can you tell i'm kind obsessed with mihawk actually having a relative? because otherwise the only alternative is that he's an actual vampir #who lived for 700years and randomly woke up on the pirates era and was 'aigt this seems legit let's go do some piracy #also i read this greaaaat mishanks fic where mihawk fought rayleigh and almost split him in two but they were on friendly terms after that #and i was like yep sounds like a father/son relationship to me even tho they were more of in-laws in the fic lol #contrary to popular belief i think mihawk would love buggy right away cz he finds him amusing #buggy thinks of mihawk as their father's biological goth son who wants their immediate death which is kinda true #one piece #opla #mihawk #shanks #dracule mihawk #red hair shanks #buggy the clown #Rayleigh

[luderailing]

Lat 🖋️

#I feel like the panels don’t really go together #and I realize some of the dialogue doesn’t make sense #but yknow….I’m just kinda proud to get something out #I feel like I had a long day haha #glad I was still able to draw something #and this wasn’t really related to anything. I just like doing these with characters #random comic strips/writing scenes #helps me get to know them better I think #I realize my blog isn’t really centered around any few characters? #I mean there’s definitely some characters I draw more than others #but I wanna develop my ideas about them #who am I kidding ive been trying to do this forever haha #at least you guys like the art so slow n steady I guess #I’ll get to wherever I wanna be someday. I’m still young ig #faith is key! #if ur reading this rn (u a real one if you actually read allat???) have some confidence in your future #that sounds very cheesy and overused but it’s true. I believe in u<3 #hetalia #aph baltics #art #aph latvia #my art

[saeraas]

they let you get gbvsr dlc to change the announcer to any of the characters, and most are normal but then there's belial, who gives everyone two special nicknames and this is to basically say i was not prepared for hearing him call eustace "cocked and loaded"

#the other name was armed agent for eustace #should i not be shocked? yes but still i thought they were lying until i checked it out #other notable nicknames are: #he calls uno ''the faker'' which is ??? i definitely missed something #six is ''edgelord'' ig he got bored thinking with him #he just steals vane's nickname for percival #he takes zooey more seriously with ''cosmic beast'' #''lamb to the slaughter'' is mean as hell for anila #calling vira a ''crazy cat lady'' after calling katalina ''no fun allowed'' is something #cags is ''red alert'' because she's always a threat 💯 #interestingly he says ''i'll destroy you'' for avatar belial but it just sounds like he's lost control more than anything ofc #bubs is the reverse where he calls everyone mayfly except like 7 people and calls himself the one true king lmao #gbf #gbvsr #granblue fantasy #he kinda peaked at eustace none of the others were that wild

[jazzyderaoz]

I have a request… just for tonight.

I guess I’ll just come right out and say it: Which one of you is going to fuck me like the unholy manwhore I am?

It uh… happens rarely but… god damn am I ever in the mood for it right now. I’ve soaked my boxers, I’m sitting here rocking and rubbing up against the inside of my jeans, the rough denim feels ugh so damn good… at this point it’s not even funny anymore, I need to be fucked.

So one time deal, okay darling? Take this as an invitation to send me an ask and tell me what you’d do to me… take advantage while I’m so damn weak for it…

Help me get off while I fuck myself, make it good, damn- I need it so bad right now.

#not to sound like a needy little sub but uhhh #I’m kinda squirmin desperate right now… #and if you’re not sure if im just playing or if this is serious #I am 100% serious #this is true and it is happening and I am ughhh suffering #t4t nsft #ftm t4t #t4t mlm #ftm nsft #trans nsft #transmasc nsft #t4t ns/fw #transmasc dom #a

[erinatactica]

love the voice work you did, it’s great to just listen to Erina and Toshiro banter, blorbos real

awww thank you!! that means a lot! I'm really touched people are enjoying it, it's my first big game so I was REALLY SCARED HAHA!!!

macleod andrews who plays toshiro fucking knocks it out of the park, i love his performance. truly exceptional, he brings the whole thing together. absolute king! in general, though, i could geek out about the p5 actors, titans the lot of them.

toshiro is just like... the I Just Think He's Neat meme.... someone make that pls <3333

#p5t erina #persona 5 tactica #p5t #replies #sillyfluff #persona 5 #matt mercer is part of the reason i got into vo. fun fact #i talked about this at our anime expo panel but i used to intern at Geek and Sundry abt 5 years ago #which at the time owned critical role so i saw those actors every week #and it made me go.. huh.. voice acting?? Sounds Pretty Cool! #one of my career goals was to like be in a game with some of the crit role cast members bc of that and.. well!!! did that!!!! #i don't wanna like... ride their coattails or anything though i was just a huge fan and that kinda thing is a dream come true. #so i mostly keep that on the dl. hence. its in the tags

[ganondoodle]

sorry if I missed the post where you talk about this: what made you decide to rename some of the races? love your concepts for kohga / the depths in your ground-up rewrite btw :3 the depths were cool and spooky at first like everything else but they really just feel so empty and same-y on closer inspection

Hi!

thanks for liking the concepts i put out so far :D part of why i dont even like totks gameplay that much either is bc there were so many moments/ideas i found genuinely exciting (like the underground, the pirates, impa saying she wants to help zelda) only to realize all of it goes nowhere and means nothing

as for your question; i .. dont? rename anything? but what could LOOK like im doing that is me largely using the names and descriptions from how they were translated from japanese to my native language german, im most familiar with the german names and usually like them more even if i know their english counterpart by now- like the titans (engl. divine beasts), krogs (engl. koroks), sonau (engl. zonai), gigamas (enlg. froxs?), miasma (engl. gloom?), enigma stones (engl. secret stones??), and names for some characters or places too, like maronus (engl. hestu?) eldra (engl. dinraal) farodra (engl. farosh?) or taburasa (engl. tarrey town)

(though sometimes i use other ones like in case of the rito bc its also rito in the og but for some reason was renamed into 'orni' in german xD rarely i cant quite decide either like with ranelle (engl. lanayru) or phirone (engl. faron))

i know it might be confusing but i guess thats always the case when you are living in multiple languages gndjkbgfnkd (that said, should i put the english names behind the ones im using when writing posts, given i know the english ones, or would that be bad to read?)

#ganondoodles answers #ganondoodles talks #zelda #totk #kinda #like by now i learned a ton of the nelgish names just by being online but i dont like most of them lol #you are NOT making me call miasma 'gloom' #one sounds dangerous the other sounds like 'aww did you touch the sad goopy?' #also everything i do has already turned to involve so much english i wanna just keep little parts of other things .. #well the world in general is so english centered ... i dont like that #no offense if you only know english #i just dont like how its often acted like its the only language to exist or be “true” or to matter

[slityclayloam]

Sometimes I like looking up dyspraxia on google or tumblr as it makes me feel better seeing others like me, but like everytime I am violently reminded just how much it seeps into my everyday life.

Like I have decent movement, I can't remember the last time I fell over and I rarely bump into things. I can now wear turtle neck jumpers without feeling like I'm being strangled. I can type fast on my laptop and rarely have to look at the keys. I can drive, parallel park and reverse park. I can even now catch stuff thrown at me like 9/10 times! All of this is because I've been working on those skills for 19 years, both by myself and through speech and physiotherapy between the ages of 5 and 9.

But then I still have major issues organising my life, I have problems going to appointments and responding to emails. My main emotion everyday is to feel unemotional and when I do feel a real, strong emotion I have a hard time showing it, often apperaing neutral or like I don't care. I still don't fully get some social concepts. My memory can be really dodgy. My handwriting is quick and spidery as it hurts my hand to write slowly and neatly and I can't use anything but cheap gel pens as anything else will smudge. I still drop food on myself or the table daily. I'm still nervous carrying mugs of tea or coffee around, in fact I actually refuse point blank to carry trays of food in cafes, as I worry so much about dropping them and I find the weight and instability difficult to handle. I get tired easily and find it hard to stand in the kitchen and cook for more than half an hour before I just end up in pain, I can't use can openers and I have a hard time chopping food. I really like doing craft stuff with my hands but I find it so hard to continue with that craft stuff as it always comes out looking horrible and I just don't have the patience to continue.

It is hard living in a constant uphill battle, with everyone around you getting on with their lives and being so "hyper" organised. But I've managed to grow so much over the years and I hope that one day soon I can move some more of the things on my "I can't do or struggle to do right now" list, and move them into my "success" or "I can just in my own way" list.

#sorry this is a rant and a half but idk im proud of myself for doing so well #also idk i know its hard to find stuff outside of 'oh you trip over a lot' as there is so many more aspects to dcd that get looked over #and I just kinda wanna let other people know.- esp those just being diagnosed - that there are other aspects of your life it effects #dyspraxia #actually dyspraxic #long post #dyspraxic #god im only 24 but i sound more and more like an internet 'elder' christ i have matured a lot since 2019 #this feels very saccharine for me but its true i am doing better! and i want to continue to do better in my own neurodiverse way! #also apologies for spelling mistakes im also dyslexic ;)

[sadieshavingsex]

hi everyone. I think I have figured out the “real problem” in my life. I am really starting to understand myself, I think, in a new way. I understand how my entire concept of life fits well into the ideas of borderline personality disorder, codependency, fearful or anxious attachment, boundary issues, and more.

I’ve been thinking about it a lot this morning. Here is what I think is the root problem: i am literally, no hyperbole at all, clinically debilitated by my all-encompassing obsession with love.

What I mean by this is that I am so obsessed with finding a partner, attaching to a partner, stressing about a partner, discarding a partner, and starting the cycle over again that I feel I need some kind of clinical treatment, whether it’s inpatient our outpatient, whether it’s therapy or meds, or I need to join some kind of group like SLAA, whatever I can do to stop this uncontrollable issue that I have accidentally allowed to control my life for years.

I cannot stress enough that I am literally unable to experience life without these obsessions, and I see very little point in living without or outside of this cycle of romantic attachment. The advice to find a new hobby, see my friends more often, or take some time to relax by myself will never be enough—despite hanging out with people or working on a project, I will mentally be in a different place, wondering about my partner/crush or worrying about our relationship. The times are very few and far between when I am genuinely able to forget or not focus on this near-constant train of thought, and it usually happens when I am very busy or have a lot going on in some way. Even when I achieve this state, the moment that I am back to “normal” life with less demands or less concerted focus, the thoughts rush in again. And, much of the time when I am having these continuing obsessive thoughts, I genuinely believe that these thoughts are the most important thing I can focus on in my life, so I will sometimes have difficulty focusing on other stuff, participating in activities with others, or getting things done without these thoughts constantly playing in my mind.

I mean this in the most serious way possible. I am LITERALLY OBSESSED with romance and objects of affection. It sounds like I’m overexaggerating and I think that when I have become vaguely aware of this issue in the past and tried to tell people about it, it has generally been met with the assertion that I MUST be overexaggerating this in some way. And, if I’m not, then it is honestly something that seems super embarrassing to admit or talk about. But the truth is that I feel like I can’t overstate or overexaggerate the impact that this has on my life. I feel like it takes up every moment of my free time and then some, and it has ever since I was a child.

I know this issue essentially fits into all of these diagnoses and issues I’ve been experiencing and reading about, but I somehow feel that it transcends them as well. Like, THIS is the thing that makes normal aspects of life debilitating. THIS is the reason I let my boundaries fall by the wayside so easily. THIS is the reason I repeatedly find myself in situations that make no sense with what I’m actually trying to achieve. THIS is the problem. This singleminded uncontrollable OBSESSION with loving and being loved is INSANE. It is driving me actually nuts and running my life into the ground. It needs to be dealt with and it honestly cannot go on!!!!!!!!

Anyway. I feel encouraged by realizing that but I have no clue how to actually fix it. Thank you very much for reading lol.

#mine #sex therapy #bpd #anxious attachment #boundaries #codependent #slaa #idk just an idea maybe I should go there honest to god #attachment issues #long post #limerence #I sound like I’m genuinely going out of my mind but like this rings so true to me #and it’s like so embarrassing and there’s probably no reason to share it and I feel like people reading my blog will b like wtf is wrong wu #or like think I’m making a big deal out of nothing #or maybe just be like ‘dude that’s just bpd it’s not a big deal’ or whatever #but like being able to explain this through words is a big deal to me idk. I feel kinda stupid for making a big deal ab it #but yeah. it’s a big deal to me and makes me feel better to be able to say it in a way that makes sense to me

[marcsnuffy]

Sometimes ro/ng shippers are kinda unintentionally funny. It's like they're the angels on Reo's shoulder telling him "noo, you're right, he put on a different shirt so he's making an extra effort just for you so he's madly in love with you" or "no, you're right, he thinks hanging with people other than you is bothersome but you're different" or

#Do not take this negatively i haven't been ill about reonagi all this time for someone to think I dont like them bc of this post #like it makes nagi sound like hes from the pov of a girl whos trying sosososo hard to excuse her red flag bf #But it's almost always true that it's a massive effort for him. even if it sounds kinda silly and like people are reaching for straws #txt #so annoying (affectionate) #reonagi #freeing this from my drafts

[sarayu-sunrays]

when you're "such a helpful daughter" but you're also "so lazy" even though you did everything haha imagine

#clearing out old drafts #lol this is so emo lmfaooo is this what i sound like on a daily basis #kinda true tho ic #desi eldest daughter #eldest daughter

[onewholivesinloops]

one of the things that makes the umineko cast work so well is that they're very tightly written in terms of how they parallel each other but also how they parallel yasu first and foremost and i've always felt like that's an approach sotsugou tried to replicate with the higurashi cast and satoko

#it's obviously not as competent as umineko and it'd be crazy to suggest this #but it's also unfair to pit them against each other in terms of quality when one is ~100h sound novel and the other is an anime #anyway the most obvious and interesting is satoko and rika being narrative foils #but besides that the takano focus in the last episode of gou is all about drawing parallels between her and satoko #it's satoko inheriting the takano role so this exists to emphasize how similar they truly are #there's oniakashi rena and wataakashi mion which are all about drawing parallels with satoko's character arc albeit in different ways #even teppei in tatariakashi isn't meant to be seen as a character as much as he's a symbol #there's so much nuance in terms of what teppei stands for in terms of being the fantasy of the father figure she wishes she could've had #but he's also a mirror of her 'worst' self #even hanyuu's focus in the beginning of kagurashi can be drawn back to satoko's motives #i think sotsugou makes the most sense when you parse it as being the satoko show before anything else #i think this is something the original does with rika too but it's also a little different #the original isn't as rika centric #even if she's the hidden protagonist and the true heart it's still an ensemble story #but sotsugou feels like it's a love letter for satoko in the same way umineko is one for beatrice #not that this means the other characters don't matter it's just that everything is kinda about them? #not sure if this makes sense but it does in my head and i can write so many words about all the parallels #gamo.txt

[disco-elysium-sideblog]

hey! can we see your playthrough notes?

You absolutely can! A lot of them have made it into my posts in one way or another, so it probably won't be a lot thoughts people haven't seen before, but I'm happy to share! It's definitely fun to look back on now that I know more about the game. These notes were intended just for me to organize my thoughts so they might not make a lot of sense to other people, or be phrased in the best possible way. Also TW for a self harm mention

I hope it's everything you hoped for lol

#disco elysium #love how my notes go back and forth between first second and third person to talk about Harry #self harm tw #some of the phrasing here is weird #like the way I talked about Kim once kinda made it sound like I liked him *because* he handled racism stoically and that's not true at all #in my first playthrough I immediately pushed over the pale emitter instead of talking to Ruby so you can see me being shocked by some fairl #basic plot points in the second playthrough lol #I'm not going to fix the spelling mistakes it adds to the vibe #i also started but didn't complete the communism quest in my first playthrough #the tribunal really caught me by surprise ok!! #I also wanted to wait until after my third playthrough to look at fandom stuff to avoid spoilers but then I didn't #and I still haven't finished my third playthrough!! #it gets mentioned in the notes but sometimes when I hyperfixate on something hard enough I get afraid to engage with it because I don't wan #to 'ruin' it #I'll finish my third playthrough eventually

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread    

The Surviving Sky

adult scifi/fantasy about a fracturing married couple who live with the last of humanity on a floating city powered by arcane science

Iravan is a privileged and powerful architect, who keeps them afloat with his plant magic

Ahilya has no magic - and is deeply interested in studying the magical megafauna which are the only thing that can survive the cataclysmic jungle on the ground

#The Surviving Sky #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #ok concept; vibes; immaculate #(also they're yaksha not megafauna but. for context that's not an innacurate description) #it didn't Quite go in ways i wanted in some ways #me at the dudes first POV: bro what are you ON ABOUT #fr tho the description of how the plant magic works is super interesting. it's all like. idk reaching into the quantam universe and changing #the way things Exist. or something. it all sounds very complicated #one thing that kinda bugged me is how it seems to be like. there is no (non-plant) life on earth at all and im like??? #there’s no way there’s NO life on earth???? ya heard of bugs????? the concept of a jungle existing with nothing survivng except megafauna #doesn’t make sense to me… i mean it is all very magical plants and tbh them saying there's nothing else doesn't mean that's true #however i couldn't stop thinking about it #I do feel like it keeps having the dude do something terrible that she should leave him before. and then explaining why it wasn’t that bad / #he had no choice….when she doesn't really do anything bad to him back........idk. i mean we're aware he's pretty shitty but also? #DIVORCE HIMMMMMMM #i understand the plot couldn;t have gone in the way it did if she did but also DIVORCE HIMMMMM #regardless i do think the concept and worldbuilding is all very cool and im sure i'll pick up the next one

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#aaaand that's 2 doctors that think i have bipolar ii 🙃 #so the conceptualize rn would b that my mood is fucked but im using ocd to keep myself contained withing sorta normal parameters #which. i mean. that does kinda fit with observationally. i would create rules around: u arent allowed to get excited abt things u arent #allowed to enjoy things bc u cant handle it. u cant b normal abt how u enjoy things. or bc when i go to enjoy a thing #my mood is caped at being lightly miserable so its like well fuck being around ppl it makes me feel nothing #bc my focus and energy swing around like the light on a lighthouse. and in between that im miserable or feel nothing #and if its true that i am bipolar the reason i never noticed would b bc i very rarely experience euphoria. mostly i have high energy and #dont feel good. just fucking out of control. so mixed episodes i guess. but like idk. i guess i just think of bipolar as being extremely #destructive. and i mean r my mood issues a problem? yes. sometimes a really big problem. but idk. im still resistant to thr idea #lots of ppl get misdiagnosed as bipolar even tho the presentation is so specific. i guess i just doesn't wanna accept it and then have to #have been wrong if i was misdiagnosed. but i mean 2 doctors independently listened to me and thought hm sounds like bipolar so maybe im #just being stubborn. also no one else in my family thst i kno of is bipolar. ive got 2 uncles with adhd but not bipolar relatives #i dunno. i guess it doesn't matter so long as i can get it under control. im good at control. destructively good at control #unrelated #i guess its more that ive never done anything life ruining bc of my moods #mostly i just dont sleep much and make myself crazy. so ill probably die an early death or whatever lack og sleep causes rio #i meant rip lol

[sunset-bridge]

drain you - nirvana

id in alt

#do i even tag this... #p5 protag #just one. this is more personal art #myart #oc art #anime art #back to my one true love : drawing freak ass expressions.. its so lovely and fun to me #like drawing the most strange expressions i enjoy it so much. normal people #i really really like how this came out #drain you is so sergio core #a lot of nirvana songs actually.. i think its the. crude and kinda raw sound and lyrics #my man kurt said anything huh #sergio flores #anyways yeah i feel so free and happy drawing these kinds of things . normal people are my favorite type of people #sergio is abiiiiit normal yes #eye contact