#but just one line

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[officialspec]

can i say something. for years i thought the joke of the song short skirt/long jacket by cake was that he wanted a woman who was hung like a horse. like i thought when he says jacket it was a last-second fakeout because he very obviously meant to say cock. and the rest of the things in the song were just her personality and interests. which were secondary to her awesome penis

#is anyone else doing this. or am i stupid #i didnt question it at all i thought that was just the obviously intended meaning of the song #and i was like damn this is pretty progressive for the 90s i wonder why no one talks about this song when theyre talking abt #popular songs about trans women at the time. i guess some of the stuff mentioned could potentially rub people the wrong way- #OH. SO IT WAS JUST ABOUT A WOMAN WHOIS PRAGMATIC AND BUSINESS CASUAL WITH IT. I SEE #EDIT THE LINE 'a voice that is dark like tinted glass' LIKE....U GET WHAT I MEAN

[acidgirl]

#if one more person tries to act like netflix sending a mediocre band to a picket line as a form of retaliation #is an actual thing that could happen i will kill you #also if you guys can’t handle a little jab at one of the most milquetoast pop bands of the current era #iiiiiiii don’t think you’re ready for this website or the internet in general #just because somsone does good stuff does not mean i have to like their stuff

[newttxt]

leashes for zosan

#one piece #zoro #sanji #zosan #nico robin #usopp #ive had this comic sketched for… probably months. but i finally lined and finished it!! #eesh… three comics in three days… this rate is NOT sustainable #im just incapable of not thinking about one piece dkfkdkkckdkc #i normally dont draw at all nov-feb bc i feel unmotivated and sad but hey!! not this year!! skckdkckdkkcdk #anyway i have the nonblurry zoro. featuring more of his uhhh body. but thats not going up here any time soon

[stromblessed]

Mizu, femininity, and fallen sparrows

In my last post about Mizu and Akemi, I feel like I came across as overly critical of Mizu given that Mizu is a woman who - in her own words - has to live as a man in order to go down the path of revenge.

If she is ever discovered to be female by the wrong person, she will not only be unable to complete her quest, but there's a good chance that she'll be arrested or killed.

So it makes complete sense for Mizu to distance herself as much as possible from any behavior that she feels like would make someone question her sex.

I felt so indignant toward Mizu on my first couple watchthroughs for this moment. Why couldn't Mizu bribe the woman and her child's way into the city too? If Mizu is presenting as a man, couldn't she claim to be the woman's escort?

However, this moment makes things pretty clear. Mizu knows all too well the plight of women in her society. She knows it so well that she cannot risk ever finding herself back in their position again. She helps in what little way she can - without drawing attention to herself.

Mizu is not a hero and she is not one to make of herself a martyr - she will not set herself on fire to keep others warm. There's room to argue that Mizu shouldn't prioritize her quest over people's lives, but given the collateral damage Mizu can live with in almost every episode of season 1, Mizu is simply not operating under that kind of morality at this point. ("You don't know what I've done to reach you," Mizu tells Fowler.)

And while I still feel like Mizu has an obvious and established blind spot when it comes to Akemi because of their differences in station, such that Mizu's judgment of Akemi and actions in episode 5 are the result of prejudice rather than the result of Mizu's caution, I also want to establish that Mizu is just as caged as Akemi is, despite her technically having more freedom while living as a man.

Mizu can hide her mixed race identity some of the time, and she can hide her sex almost all of the time, but being able to operate outside of her society's strict rules for women does not mean she cannot see their plight.

It does not mean she doesn't hurt for them.

Back to Mizu and collateral damage, remember that sparrow?

While Mizu is breaking into Boss Hamata's manse, she gets startled by a bird and kills it on reflex. She then cradles it in her hands - much more tenderly than we've seen Mizu treat almost anything up to this point in the season:

She then puts it in its nest, with its unhatched eggs. Almost like she's trying to make the death look natural. Or like an accident.

You see where I'm going with this.

When Mizu kills Kinuyo, Mizu lingers in the moment, holding the body tenderly:

And btw a lot of stuff about this show hit me hard, but this remains the biggest gut punch of them all for me, Mizu holding that poor girl's body close, GOD

When Mizu arranges the "scene of the crime," Kinuyo's body is delicate, birdlike. And Mizu is so shaken afterward that she gets sloppy. She's horrified at this kill to the point that she can't bring herself to take another innocent life - the boy who rats her out.

MIZU'S ONE MOMENT OF SOFTNESS AND MERCY, COMING ON THE HEELS OF HER NEEDING TO KILL A GIRL TO SPARE HER THE WORST FATE THAT THIS RIGID SOCIETY HAS TO OFFER WOMEN, AND TO SPARE A BROTHEL FULL OF INNOCENT WOMEN WHO ARE THE CASTOFFS OF SOCIETY, NEARLY RESULTS IN ALL OF THEIR DEATHS

No wonder Mizu is as stoic and cold as she is.

And no wonder Mizu has no patience for Akemi whatsoever right before the terrible reveal and the fight breaks out:

Speaking of Akemi - guess who else is compared to a bird!

The plumage is more colorful, a bit flashier. But a bird is a bird.

And, uh

Yeah.

I like to think that Mizu killing the sparrow is not only foreshadowing for what she must do to Kinuyo, but is also a representation of the choice she makes on Akemi's behalf. She decides to cage the bird because she believes the bird is "better off." Better off caged than... dead.

But because Mizu doesn't know Akemi or her situation, she of course doesn't realize that the bird is fated to die if it is caged and sent back home.

Mizu is clearly not happy, or pleased, or satisfied by allowing Akemi to be dragged back to her father:

But softness and mercy haven't gotten Mizu anywhere good, recently.

There is so much tragedy layered into Mizu's character, and it includes the things she has to witness and the choices she makes - or believes she has to make - involving women, when she herself can skirt around a lot of what her society throws at women. Although, I do believe that it comes at the cost of a part of Mizu's soul.

After all, I'm gonna be haunted for the rest of this show by Mizu's very first prayer in episode 1:

"LET" her die. Because as Ringo points out, she doesn't "know how" to die.

Kind of like another bird in this show:

#blue eye samurai #mizu #akemi #kinuyo #bes #women are birds okay they are BIRDS #the let me die line is so SCARY AND SAD like a part of Mizu wants death but she cant? she doesnt know how?? excuse you show??? #when all these other delicate birds are dying all around her #akemis character gets more and more gutwrenching upon subsequent rewatches because whenever she says her life is in danger #NO ONE BELIEVES HER - certainly not other women #because shes rich and pampered and that means shes safe and is worrying about nothing right? right????? #and it turns out that all of akemis instincts were right and she was in danger the ENTIRE TIME #also I need to make a post just for kinuyo because I am sad

[ofswordsandpens]

Percy, who had finally accepted to bear the burden of the great prophecy after agonizing over it for years only for everyone to repeatedly tell him in the final book that he's not the hero and its not about him:

#honestly I know a part of percy was relieved once he figured out that one line was referring to Luke and he didn't have to die #but god I'd be pissy if I basically accepted this huge burden and my impending death when NO ONE ELSE WOULD #just for everyone around me to be like #/ugh percy you're not the hero/ #pjo #percy jackson #mine

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[mwagneto]

sorry idk but the way the world is so fast and the people in it still want it to be faster is sooo annoying to me. people groaning while standing in line for 3 minutes people being mad the train ride is gonna take 2 hours people complaining that the bus is a few minutes late people being angry that construction work is taking months even though it used to take decades. don't you see the world is already so so so fast in every single aspect can't you understand that being mad will do nothing and just make your mood worse. enjoy the moments of stillness you're given. just stand in line and look at the people around you. sit on the train and watch the scenery. you'll get there.

#it's literally one of my main pet peeves not even sorry actually!!!!! esp ppl loudly complaining while standing in line or #when the train's like 2 minutes late coz it has to stop and ppl start yelling #hell even if it stops for 2 hours. who cares who cares who cares unless you're late for like a weeding or smtg who cares !!!! #literally just relax slow down. look at your phone idk #this one should be it's own post but like when people complain about budapest public transport it makes me so mad.... #bruhhh shit's on time 99% of the time and it's like. outstandingly good compared to any other city #hungarian infrastructure in general like are the trains the best NO but they get you pretty much anywhere for like 30 cents #calm down !!!!!!!!!! #barking #humans

[oobbbear]

Did a small practice :]🌟

#my art #animation #video #sundrop #fnaf sun #help wanted 2 #help wanted spoilers #I’m fighting procreate dream with my life #it works fine with small practices #oh hw2 voice lines are so good for dialogue practices #there are so many ups n downs packed in just one small line #🤌✨ #might do more #i have a few saved

[akantorrr]

#wow akans is back to drawing ultrakill stuff? impossible! #ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #v1 ultrakill #gabv1el #digital art #v1 #akans art #I actually really really really love how this one turned out #starting off 2024 with a banger (at least for me) #absolutely inspired by that other coahuilaceratops piece I did the other day- on my alt #tarot card or church stained glass; I don't know what this is but it's becoming my comfort art style #drawing/doodling like this is therapeutic for me istg xD just straight lines and circles and dots :>

[payasita]

God's Mouthpiece (Echo + Narcissus)

silent protagonists, yknow

#cotl #cult of the lamb #narilamb #not a serious au but an idea i had at the grocery store parking lot that made me haul ass back home #at least one of these lines i remember verbatim from reading a version of the myth in school #doodles #comics #i cut so many corners on this but im resolving this year to just. get things FINISHED #SO TAKE IT

[raycatzdraws]

Wolfie and Four friendship appreciation doodles! They're shared secrets besties! I hope Four's distrust of the shadow crystal doesn't drive anything between them. Wild found his way into this compilation with a force. It seems I can't draw Wolfie and not include him too!

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu four #lu twilight #lu wolfie #lu wild #lu legend #lu hyrule #fairy hyrule #I drew most of these on my weekends at camp #hence the swearing probably lol can't swear in front of the campers #man I did not leave that mountain for the whole summer and I wouldn't have it any other way #I was there 6+ weeks straight #some of the other counselors who also stayed and I would occasionally make the hour drive into town #a bunch of us went to see the Barbie movie together and like 2/3 through the film the fire alarm went off and we were evacuated ajhsgfsdf #we all held hands to not be separated in case there was an actual emergency and some guy was like 'look at the preschoolers' #AND AAAAA I won't be separated from my counselor buddies!!!! RAAAHH this is what we would have gotten the kids to do #so I guess we're just too good at our jobs lol #that one LU post with the lads lined up with their bows? It's AWESOME #but I taught a bunch of kids archery this summer and none of the lads have the right posture lol #I'm walking up and down that line readjusting all of them ahsgdsdf #Imagine Wars going to Wind though like 'remember to pull back to your smile! :D ' #and Wind just deadeye staring him down like you serious rn? #caught and removed a scorpion from the lake cabin biffy this summer - that was very exciting #calmed the campers down and put them to bed and then rolled up my sleeves and asked the program staff who was staying with us #for emotional support #her only experience with scorpions was from animal crossing so she was like 'get ready to run' and I'm- I think we'll be okay #anyways it's her perched on one of the toilets with a spray bottle of bleach and me with an empty tupperware from dinner #I caught it under the tupperware but IT MOVED THE TUPPERWARE #we drowned it in bleach and it like finally died but it took a while and then we flung it into the woods BYE BUGGY

[egophiliac]

Please elaborate on your twst Pokémon headcannons I’m very interested

I had planned on drawing everyone for this (I made a LIST!) but it. hasn't been going well. 💀 soooo here's what I have so far!

Riddle - Roserade (I was going with 'no legendaries', otherwise I would've given him a Shaymin) (and I don't think Togedemaru is actually a hedgehog or I would've given him one of those too) (...they kind of do fit though. hmm.)

Trey - Alcremie (clover/mint cream + strawberry/ruby cream)

Cater - DITTO SQUAD! DITTO SQUAD! DITTO SQUAD!

Ace - Impidimp (I feel like there's probably a better one for him, but I can't think of it)

Deuce - Scraggy (meanwhile I KNOW deep in my heart that this is true)

Leona - Pyroar (but like. a nasty Pyroar. just a grizzly old Pyroar with the shittiest attitude imaginable. they pretend to hate each other but secretly they are a bonded pair, do not separate)

#art #twisted wonderland #pokemon #poketwst #i'm trying not to pressure myself too much art-wise right now #but i would like to do more of the characters! #(especially considering this started with my insistence that malleus would have a dragapult) #gotta draw something i don't immediately hate first ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ #ANYWAY enough art angst! #i'm not aiming for full teams or delving too deep into lore or anything #just one or two per character that i think fit! #i was pretty torn on leona for a while because pyroar is at once the obvious choice but also. not really? #(i did consider luxray and ultimately decided it doesn't really fit either) #but i kind of love Nasty Lionboy's Nasty Pyroar #i think there's probably some. like. ~royal tradition~ that they all bond with this one specific breeding line or whatever #and leona deliberately chose just the absolute worst one #took one look at this shitty rude pokemon and immediately went 'that one' #falena was like 'are...are you SURE' and leona cops an attitude like 'i'm choosing my OWN pokemon you're not my DAD' #as pyroar is actively attempting to eat him #actually it probably tried to eat kifaji first and that's when leona decided he liked it #me: this is just for funsies i'm not doing lore (writes a whole fanfic in the tags)

[jackklinemybeloved]

[…]

Percy’s warning to fellow half-bloods in the audience, across different mediums.

The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan (2005) The Lighting Thief: The Percy Jackson Musical (2017) Percy Jackson and the Olympians Series Teaser (2023)

#I have been thinking about making this for SO long #but this semester sucked #anyway I love it when adaptations play to their strengths and make changes to fit the medium #and these little differences tingle my brain a little bit #I didn’t want to check if the movies had something similar because I am Tired and the show and movie version would be pretty similar #anyway #the musical line always gets me #‘better get headed to the exits now’ is such a good adaptation of the ‘close this book idea’ #and I know I could’ve just done one of the excerpts from the book but I like both #and I didn’t want to have the paragraph in between to make it just like. a block of text. #percy jackson #pjo #pjo disney+ #pjo Disney #walker scobell #pjo show #percy jackon and the olympians #web weaving #riordanverse

[time-woods]

EMOTIONAL WIN ! ! the bug lets his emotions make decisions for once !

#when ur bug has rsd #mf needs affirmations after everything man #ppl expect a mystery fantasy drama but its gonna end up being a story abt learning how to experience being yourself #a whole story just about experiencing emotions and how amazing and beautiful that can be #( with a side serving of heavily autistic experiences) #get praaaaankeed #i really dont get kissing but here it sorta made sense i think #kissing with mandibles must be a bit difficult #shoutout to unhinged jaw #chasing stars au #adventure time #fionna and cake #adventure time au #Sīdus the Fallen star #prismo the wishmaster #the carmine cavalier #scarab the god auditor #prohibitedwish #this technically has a part 1 but i didnt line it or anything- i may add it onto this later if i feel like it #Sīdus is the one to usually instigate stuff but he makes sure Carma is the one to go further #kinda just letting him know that hes there for him but no matter what he gets to choose what hes comfortable with- #when hes in such an unfamiliar situation

[bluegiragi]

debrief.

early access + nsfw on patreon

#soap is naturally more volatile leading up to a full moon but he just also dislikes feeling sidelined. #his previous teams were always pretty heavy on the offensive #(there's also a part of him that's annoyed at himself for still finding simon hot even when he's being a bit of a tosser #OH ALSO. im testing out a newer brush on this one #since for some reason my brain decided i hate how thick my lines usually look :3 #captain john price #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #monster 141 au #simon ghost riley #giragi art