#but ive tried. ive tried to do the research i can without becoming obsessed and self fulfilling and spiraling too much.

[juupitrr]

suitcases man / vent

my sister came back from uni and moved back into her and i's room - which for the past 4-ish years has been mostly just /my/ room with her bed still in it for when she came over on holidays or moving between the uni years - and that meant she brought all her stuff with her and I had to move my stuff to make space.

I didn't realize it also meant moving my clothes and where i put them; like the suitcase I keep under her bed specifically at the far left end of it placed so I can pull it out, zip it open and take out the only 3 items that are in that suitcase, my black skater skirt, those black ankle socks I brought to kosov and never wore so keep there just incase, and that one corset top that came a day late than when I needed it.

When my dad helped her put her suitcases under her bed, they initially had to take out /my/ suitcase to make space for it then when they realized they had extra space, put my suitcase back in. In the far right side of the bed.

When my dad left I immediately went to it and fixed it and corrected it and my sister was looking at me weirdly "you're acting kinda ocd" "this is very ocd of you" and it annoyed me a lot because it was only recently that I've been comfortable with saying I have ADHD and she knew this and I thought the suitcase thing was another me or ADHD or both thing, so her naming it as something else just. it annoyed me. because I thought I finally had a kind of guide as to what certain things were and why. then in comes this whole new term id never considered that i now have to give a guest room in my head cuz now its circling in my thoughts a little in the back of my mind.

idk man just like, knowing what kind of neurodivergent u are is so fucking tough sometimes man, like why cant it be like the sorting hat or smn and it just tells u

#just sick of this imposter syndrome im having with my adhd #like? im sick of second doubting everytime i gain a new level of confidence in my symptoms and self diagnosis. #i cant wait ~2 years for cahms to call me and say “hey u were right it IS adhd gj champ” and just let myself sit in puzzled confusion like #i KNOW it's not good to self diagnose without proper research #but ive tried. ive tried to do the research i can without becoming obsessed and self fulfilling and spiraling too much. #and i cant just sit back while ppl r like “you do this that this this and that. wtf r u.” #and i have to be like “idk i cant tell u bcs tiktok told me im hellspawn and ablist if i try find out” #nah fuck that #fuck ppl who try and have that mindset abt people who KNOW they have something and NEED to know because if they dont they will scream #bcs man i WANT TO SCREAM EVERY DAYY and i have a BIG OL HUNK abt what I have. #and its a FUCKING SUITCASE. ITS A SUITCASE. AND ITS A GIANT LAWN CHAIR WITH ALL MY CLOTHES ON IT. #because I cant put it in the boxes my mum got me or else i will have a panic attack because its not right and i will cry and bawl again #ok im done #vixen speaks #juup talks #juupitrr talks #vent #personal vent #adhd vent #sorry lol #btw i dont have anything against my sister. these are just my feelings.

[jiraidanshi]

Hi!!! I really love your style!! Can I ask, how did you get into j-fashion / egl, and do you have any advice for a new person who wants to get into it ? 💐✨️

it was because of rozen maiden LOL i actually tried to do a research project on lolita for school because of it when i was 12 but my teacher said i couldnt because of the name :( that didnt stop me from becoming obsessed though because i think either i had already started on the project without asking for permission first or i just did it anyways for fun . or like maybe i put it all on my blog because every student in that class was given a personal blog . im pretty sure i got like all of my information from livejournals considering the time period . but for nowadays i would recommend lovely lor on youtube she has a lot of informative videos on like what lolita is and like how to buy lolita on a budget and stuff [my recommendations for this is using bodyline , 42lolita (taobao reseller with the lowest markup) , chinese lolita updates on facebook (taobao proxy) , closetchild (can be kinda expensive sometimes depending on the brand) , lolitawardrobe has a bigger markup but not as bad (basically do NOT use devilinspired their markups are criminal) , or getting a friend who has access to xianyu / using a shopping service for it because im not joking i got a dress that literally never sells for no less than 300 dollars on lacemarket for 120 dollars and it was in perfect condition . this is also your best bet for finding taobao pieces that are no longer being sold . you can also just buy things directly from taobao if you can figure it out but sometimes it can be finicky to use like locking you out of your account for no reason and stuff . also i guessss lacemarket but people are always selling things for insane prices on there and if youre too excited you can get ripped off [happened to me] . omg if you were wondering about girly kei though just send another ask and i can talk about that too . girly kei [and by extension the jirai subculture] and lolita are like my big ones i know a lot about .i have like dabbled in decora and am getting into yamikawa now that its similar to how ive been dressing based on street snaps from like back in 2016 and not like basically m/enhera 2 and so tied to the aesthetic that b/isuko e/zaki created

#electronic mail #unknown sender #i have approximate knowledge of a lot of jfashions from just being into lolita

[sankttealeaf]

for skills and hobbies: 🍳, ✨️, 🎁 and ✍️

answering fun oc asks from here!!

🍳 - Are they good at cooking? Do they like to? Why and how did they learn to cook, or, if they didn't, why didn't they?

rue LOVES cooking! it's one of her few hobbies she has that isn't directly linked to being bhaal's chosen / child. she's very methodical when it comes to preparing food and will often like to butcher meat herself if it's being used. (pre-tadpole dinner dates with gortash were... interesting, especially because she doesnt fully trust his staff not to try and kill them)

her foster family taught her! her two siblings both worked in the elfsong tavern so would pick up recipes from the kitchen to bring home. she enjoyed watching her mama cook and would go out and buy vegetables for their evening meal and ask lots of questions!

post tadpole it's gale who becomes camp cook and rue does sit by him and watch but no one trusts her cooking enough to let her make something.

✨️ - Are they a magic user? If so, how did they come to learn it (born with it, studied, acquired, etc.)? What does their magic look like when cast? If not, what is their attitude towards magic?

rue is a wild magic sorcerer! i like to think that being born from bhaal's flesh means whatever magics that lie within him got a little wonky when getting into rue. her magic is chaotic and ive always described it as her being able to phsyically hear the thrum of the weave and she looks for notes that are out of tune to the rest and pulls from that. wild magic surges come from her pulling recklessly!

her magic is full of many shades of red! she's self taught as well, which makes for fun conversations between her and gale when she's "clearly casting it wrong - the somatic components look nothing like that!" and "not everyone can go to wizard school, gale. leave me alone or i'll zap you without even speaking a word"

🎁 - If they needed to give a friend a gift, how would they go about choosing one? Would they buy it, make it, or do something else? Would others consider them a good at gift-giving?

rue gets obsessive when gift giving. the gifts have to be PERFECT or else she will simply not give them anything

theres a scene im pretty sure is not going to make the final cut of "let sleeping dogs lie" but she goes on a small gift hunt for gortash's birthday and gets him a little carnivorous plant, a book of essays on research into different power sources for machines and berry pie with ice cream from the bakery they used to steal from as kids. she spends like, the whole day searching for this stuff and it's well thought out.

over time she does get a little less obsessive with finding the right gift and during her time adventuring she'll often give people things she's found that reminded her of them.

✍️ - What does your character's handwriting look like? Do they write letters often? What other contexts do they usually write in, if any?

messy. as a fellow messy handwriting girlie i need to project onto her. sometimes it's illegible. sometimes she gets tired writing a word and will scribble the rest. sometimes she reads it back and goes "i have no idea what im trying to say"

she's always been jealous of gortash's handwriting because it's prettier than hers and there's been times where she's tried to copy it (it never worked)

pre tadpole - she exchanged letters with gortash often, and wrote prayers down to give up to her father.

post tadpole - she keeps a little diary of her journey back to baldurs gate!

#; tea time #anon #oc ; rue #the dark urge #rue is the character im projecting onto most it seems #hm #not gonna think too much about that!

[inosukeslefttoe]

SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro. 

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry. 

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either. 

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

#wonder egg priority #wonder egg spoilers #ai ohto #rika kawai #momoe sawaki #wonder egg priority neiru #i forgot neirus name #anime review #wonder egg ai #lgbtq anime

[ofelvie]

joe keery. cis male. he/him.  ／  elvie croft just pulled up blasting spooky boy by danny gonzalez  — that song is so them ! you know, for a twenty - four year old youtuber, i’ve heard they’re really scatterbrained, but that they make up for it by being so loyal. if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say 80s horror, buckets of halloween candy, and blurry photographs of mysterious figures in the woods. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble ! ( sam, 23, est, she/her )

hey there demons! *ba dum tss* my name is sam and i’ll be writing elvie, a brilliant harvard law graduate who threw away any shred of credibility he ever had in order to make silly videos on the internet. more info under the cut. feel free to message me if you would like to plot!

i. stats

𝖋𝖚𝖑𝖑 𝖓𝖆𝖒𝖊: elvin tupelo croft

𝖕𝖗𝖊𝖋𝖊𝖗𝖗𝖊𝖉 𝖓𝖆𝖒𝖊𝖘: el, elvie, the ghost guy

𝖍𝖔𝖒𝖊𝖙𝖔𝖜𝖓: salem, massachusetts 

𝖉𝖆𝖙𝖊 𝖔𝖋 𝖇𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖍: october 31, 1995

𝖟𝖔𝖉𝖎𝖆𝖈: scorpio

𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓: demisexual

𝖔𝖈𝖈𝖚𝖕𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓: lawyer youtuber

𝖕𝖔𝖘. 𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖎𝖙𝖘: loyal, open - minded, exuberant.

𝖓𝖊𝖌. 𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖎𝖙𝖘: scatterbrained, obstreperous, impulsive.

𝖎𝖓𝖘𝖕𝖎𝖗𝖊𝖉 𝖇𝖞: shawn spencer, psych ; fox mulder, the x files ; stiles stilinski, teen wolf.

ii. history

elvin tupelo “elvie” croft was born in salem, massachusetts ( yes, really ) on halloween day ( yes, really ). an only child, his father is the district attorney for essex county, massachusetts while his mother owns a store in town that sells witchcraft supplies such as crystals, herbs, grimiores, etc. fun fact: she’s the descendant of an accused witch, meaning that elvie is as well.

as it turns out, beneath of the surface of the few tourist attractions that it has to offer, salem has a small town, stuck in the past vibe. it’s the sort of place where everyone knows everyone all their lives because no one ever leaves and no one ever moves in. he grew up in this...eccentric...environment, living in the same house all his life and only ever leaving to visit his grandparents in boston. 

he was five years old when he saw his first horror movie ( an apathetic teenage babysitter let him stay up long past his bedtime to watch nightmare on elm street ) and from that moment on he was HOOKED.

when he started school, two things about him became apparent: 1) he was highly intelligent and 2) he struggled greatly with tasks such as sitting still and staying focused. he was tested, and it turns out that he has a through the roof genius level iq and he also has adhd, which he was put on a few different medications for until something finally seemed to work for him.

he could have been one of those child prodigies who finished high school at the age of ten and then college at the age of fourteen, BUT his parents decided that they didn’t want him to miss out on the experience of going through school with people his own age.

as the smartest kid in class with glasses and braces and an insatiable obsession with all things horror and halloween, he…was picked on. mercilessly.

so, he didn’t really have any friends...............................at all.................................but he didn’t mind. he was perfectly content to go right home after school and spend the rest of the day reading comic books or watching horror movies or researching local urban legends and paranormal stories.

he started his youtube channel when he was a teenager and it was…trash honestly. it was basically buzzfeed unsolved if buzzfeed unsolved consisted of one ( 1 ) dorky teenager yelling at the air in the middle of abandoned house at 3am, but it turned out that people found it entertaining. his first few videos were flops, but he would soon start amassing subscribers in the hundreds, then thousands, then hundreds of thousands.

so, when he got to his senior year of high school, he was a shoe - in to be named class valedictorian ( he was ) and he was even getting ivy league offers. at the same time, his youtube channel was starting to gain momentum. his parents mainly his father were really pushing him to attend college and elvie, genius level iq and all…didn’t want to go. he wanted to focus on his youtube channel, but his dad was absolutely not having it.

he attended harvard for both his pre law and law school studies, breezed through classes, graduated with honors at the top of his class and once he passed the bar exam there were countless job offers waiting for him. elvie ignored them all and moved to los angeles so that he could finally focus on his youtube channel.

it’s been almost two years since he moved and he likes it in california!

iii. extras

his name is elvin but basically no one ever calls him that. his own parents don’t even particularly like the name. long story. most people call him elvie and some who are super close to him just call him el.

while he is the “ryan” aka the believer of his youtube series, he’s definitely NOT a scaredy cat like ryan the poor guy. in fact, all his life there’s been this running joke that HE DOESN’T SEEM TO BE SCARED OF ANYTHING, and who knows? maybe he isn’t.

has the most cartoonishly exaggerated boston accent that one could ever hope to hear, except he doesn’t seem to realize it at all. 

10/31 blaze it he’s a HUGE stoner.

he’s got jokes. stay vigilant.

he’s OBSESSED with all things horror, halloween, and 80s. he makes a lot of film references that are often so obscure that most people don’t even catch them.

he is legally permitted to practice law in the states of massachusetts and california, so basically: he’s a lawyer! however, this is not at all common knowledge because...

most people don’t know how smart he actually is because he intentionally plays dumb and he’s really good at it. being high all the time and his natural chaotic energy is quite helpful in hiding his intelligence. he just doesn’t like to be seen as smart, so the whole once - brilliant law student thing? not common knowledge whatsoever. he tries not to mention the college he attended by name at all, but if he has to then he lies and says that he went to salem state.

and yes, he has SO MUCH chaotic energy. he’s the kind of person who will stick a fork in his microwave just to see what would happen out of sheer boredom. he has two pet mexican redknee tarantulas that probably aren’t even allowed on campus named freddy and jason who he just…fucking loses track of every other day. his favorite drink is literally black coffee mixed together with a can of monster energy and 5 ( f i v e ) teaspoons of sugar. he is c h a o s. he has absolutely NO IMPULSE CONTROL whatsoever. 

he has slight Daddy Issues™. slight. when he was born, his dad was hoping that he would get a star athlete kid who would go on to follow in his footsteps and one day become a successful, respectable lawyer but instead he got…elvie. he’s never outright said that he’s disappointed but he didn’t need to. elvie’s a really difficult person to rattle but every time, without fail, he ends a phone call with his dad and he’s in a bad mood for the rest of the day. 

his car is this PIECE OF JUNK giant turquoise van that he painted to look like the mystery machine. her name is laurie strode.

even though he makes constant pop culture references about horror movies and the 80s, but outside of those areas he’s completely clueless about pop culture. like, he can recite the entire scripts of the shining and empire strikes back and ferris bueller’s day off word for word, but if someone tried to talk to him about the new post malone song or the latest marvel movie he would just stare blankly.

he has a HUGE sweet tooth. his favorite food is halloween candy and his favorite candy is black licorice disgusting i know.

he takes adderall for his adhd and he’s usually good about keeping up with it. started keeping them on his person in college because he realized that his meds were getting stolen and it’s a habit he's held onto that doesn’t really keep his shit from getting stolen.

.he’s good at…A LOT of things because he’s a really fast learner. he can play the guitar, he can draw, he did drama in high school. he just has to watch someone do something once and then he can usually immediately do it himself. this skill doesn’t extend to physical activities such as sports, however. he’s terrible at those.

he’s basically a cartoon character

iv. wanted connections

friends

cousin  ( their grandparents would probably be from boston but otherwise anything really goes for this )

his weed dealer lmao

smoking buddies

people who don’t like him / find him annoying

has stolen his adderall

maybe someone who knows how smart he really is

exes and flings

( these are just ideas and i’m trash at coming up with these, so please don’t feel limited by what’s listed here. )

#excess:intro #drugs tw #medication tw #that one picture of oscar isaac.jpeg

[elviefm]

is that [JOE KEERY]? no, that’s just [ELVIE CROFT]. [HE/HIM] is [TWENTY-FIVE] years old and is a [NIGHT JANITOR AT CURTAIN CALL]. rumor has it they’ve been in town for [ONE MONTH]. on a good day, they’re [JOCUND & PERSPICACIOUS]. but watch out! they can also be [SCATTERBRAINED & OBSTREPEROUS]. [SCRAWNY BY WALLOWS] plays in my head whenever i think of them. can’t wait to see them around Springhill! [sam, 23, est, she/her]

hey there demons! *ba dum tss* i’m sam and this is one of my favorite muses ever so without further ado, character info is under the cut and please message me if you would like to plot!

i. stats

ｆｕｌｌ ｎａｍｅ：elvin tupelo croft

ｐｒｅｆｅｒｒｅｄ ｎａｍｅｓ：el, elvie, spooky guy

ｈｏｍｅｔｏｗｎ：salem, massachusetts

ｄａｔｅ ｏｆ ｂｉｒｔｈ：october 31st, 1994

ａｇｅ： twenty - five

ｚｏｄｉａｃ：scorpio

ｏｒｉｅｎｔａｔｉｏｎ：demisexual

ｏｃｃｕｐａｔｉｏｎ：night janitor at curtain call movie theater

ｐｏｓ． ｔｒａｉｔｓ：jocund, perspicacious, loyal, open - minded.

ｎｅｇ． ｔｒａｉｔｓ：scatterbrained, obstreperous, flippant

ii. history

elvin tupelo “elvie” croft was born in salem, massachusetts ( yes, really ) on halloween day ( yes, really ). he's an only child and his father is the district attorney for essex county, massachusetts while his mother owns a small local business that sells witchcraft supplies such as crystals, herbs, grimoires, and more. interesting fact: she’s the descendant of an accused witch, meaning that elvie is as well.

as it turns out, beneath of the surface of the few tourist attractions that it has to offer, salem has a small town, stuck in the past vibe. it’s the sort of place where everyone knows everyone all their lives because no one ever leaves and no one ever moves in. he grew up in this…eccentric…environment, living in the same house all his life and only ever leaving to visit his grandparents in boston.

he was five years old when he saw his first horror movie ( an apathetic teenage babysitter let him stay up long past his bedtime to watch nightmare on elm street ) and from that moment on he was HOOKED.

when he started school, two things about him became apparent: 1) he was highly intelligent and 2) he struggled greatly with tasks such as sitting still and staying focused. he was tested ( a few times, much to his irritation ) and it turns out that he has a genius level iq and adhd.

he could have been one of those child prodigies who finished high school at the age of ten and then college at the age of fourteen, BUT his parents decided that they didn’t want him to miss out on the experience of going through school with peers his own age.

HOWEVER, as the smartest kid in class with glasses and braces and an insatiable obsession with all things horror and halloween, he…was picked on. mercilessly. he never had many friends, but he was content to go right home after school and spend the rest of the day reading comic books or watching horror movies or researching local urban legends and paranormal stories.

so, when he got to his senior year of high school, he was a shoe - in to be named class valedictorian ( he was ) and he was even getting ivy league offers. of course, his parents mainly his father were really pushing him to attend college and elvie, genius level iq and all…didn’t want to go. he had a van ( a turquoise monstrosity painted to look like the mystery machine ) and he just wanted to drive. alas, his dad was absolutely NOT having it.

he attended harvard for both his pre law and law school studies, breezed through classes, graduated with honors at the top of his class and once he passed the bar exam there were countless job offers waiting for him. elvie ignored them all and finally embarked on that road trip he had been meaning to take.

he’s been on the road for about a year now and he’s traveled all over the country. he often breezes into a town or a city, lives in his van, and takes up some odd jobs to squeeze a few dollars out of before he inevitably gets fired for messing up or not taking the work seriously or getting high on the job. he arrived in springfield a month ago, continuing his pattern or having fun and exploring somewhere he’s never been before.

iii. extras

his name is elvin but basically no one ever calls him that. his own parents don’t even particularly like the name. long story. most people call him elvie and some who are super close to him just call him el.

BIG RYAN BERGARA ENERGY. a huge believer in the paranormal and urban legends, and one of his favorite things to do when he goes somewhere new is check out the local cemeteries and haunted locales. unlike ryan, the poor guy he’s definitely NOT a scaredy cat in fact, all his life there’s been this running joke that he doesn’t seem to be scared of anything, and who knows? maybe he isn’t.

has the most cartoonishly exaggerated boston accent that one could ever hope to hear, except he doesn’t seem to realize it at all.

10/31 blaze it he’s a HUGE stoner.

he’s got jokes. stay vigilant.

he’s OBSESSED with all things horror, halloween, and 80s. he makes a lot of film references that are often so obscure that most people don’t even catch them.

he’s a lawyer! at least in the state of massachusetts. however, this is not at all common knowledge because…

most people don’t know how smart he actually is as he intentionally plays dumb and he’s really good at it. being high all the time and his natural chaotic energy is quite helpful in hiding his intelligence. he just doesn’t like to be seen as smart, so the whole once - brilliant law student thing? not common knowledge whatsoever. he tries not to mention the college he attended by name at all, but if he has to then he lies and says that he went to salem state.

and yes, he has SO MUCH chaotic energy. he’s the kind of person who will stick a fork in his microwave just to see what would happen out of sheer boredom. he has two pet mexican redknee tarantulas named freddy and jason who he just…fucking loses track of every other day. his favorite drink is literally black coffee mixed together with a can of monster energy and 5 ( f i v e ) teaspoons of sugar. he is c h a o s. he has absolutely NO IMPULSE CONTROL whatsoever.

he has slight Daddy Issues™. slight. when he was born, his dad was hoping that he would get a star athlete kid who would go on to follow in his footsteps and one day become a successful, respectable lawyer but instead he got…elvie. he’s never outright said that he’s disappointed but he didn’t need to. elvie’s a really difficult person to rattle but every time, without fail, he ends a phone call with his dad and he’s in a bad mood for the rest of the day.

his car is this PIECE OF JUNK giant turquoise van that he painted to look like the mystery machine. her name is laurie strode.

even though he makes constant pop culture references about horror movies and the 80s, but outside of those areas he’s completely clueless about pop culture. like, he can recite the entire scripts of the shining and empire strikes back and ferris bueller’s day off word for word, but if someone tried to talk to him about the new beyonce song or the latest marvel movie he would just stare blankly.

he has a HUGE sweet tooth. his favorite food is halloween candy and his favorite candy is black licorice disgusting i know.

he takes adderall for his adhd and he’s usually good about keeping up with it. started keeping them on his person in college because he realized that his meds were getting stolen and it’s a habit he’s held onto that doesn’t really keep his shit from getting stolen.

he’s good at…A LOT of things because he’s a really fast learner. he can play the guitar, he can draw, he did drama in high school. he just has to watch someone do something once and then he can usually immediately do it himself. this skill doesn’t extend to physical activities such as sports, however. he’s terrible at those.

he’s basically a cartoon character

iv. wanted connections

best friend from salem who travels with him *will probably submit as a wc

friends

cousin ( their grandparents would probably be from boston but otherwise anything really goes for this )

his weed dealer

smoking buddies

people who don’t like him / find him annoying

i know there are a lot of business owners so : people he worked for who have since fired him for being an all around awful employee.

has stolen his adderall

maybe someone who knows how smart he really is

romantic connections!

( these are just ideas and i’m trash at coming up with these, so please don’t feel limited by what’s listed here. )

#springhillintro #bullying tw #drugs tw #medication tw #tl;dr what if shaggy from scooby doo was a real person

[noramoya]

#FactsDontLiePeopleDo #FactsMatter #MJisINNOCENT #MJisTheRealVictim

“Whether you believe Michael Jackson’s two accusers or not, there’s no denying the Leaving Neverland film is incredibly one-sided. Not a single person other than Wade Robson, James Safechuck and their families was interviewed, while the Michael Jackson Estate was not even given a right of reply to the claims. This violates all norms and ethics in filmmaking and journalism.

More crucially, director Dan Reed decided not to include a whole host of other important information about the accusers’ past and their behaviour. Why? Because it might have discredited Robson and Safechuck. Yet... journalism is about seeking the truth. But Reed made no attempts to scrutinize and investigate whether the men’s allegations are indeed true, he just took them at face value and recorded them.

Jackson Estate attorney, Howard Weitzman, said that Reed “refused to devote even one minute of a 240-minutes film to any of the mountainous evidence showing that Robson and Safechuck are lying”.[i]

If these accusations had come to court while Jackson was alive, he would have been able to offer a defence. But, as he’s dead, he can’t present any sort of mitigating evidence against the accusations. So that’s where the documentary maker comes in, to provide balance.

Unless you are in the Michael Jackson fan community, or a journalist who has researched the subject – and few have, by the way – you aren’t going to know about the publicly available information which would have formed part of Jackson’s defence.

Viewers of the documentary are essentially the jury – but Leaving Neverland only gave them the prosecution’s side. When Reed was asked in an interview why he didn’t include the other side of the story, he said: “What is the other side of the story? That Michael Jackson was a great entertainer and a great guy?” Of course, people who allege abuse deserve to be heard. But as Jackson is dead, the defence his Estate might have put forward deserves to be heard too. Here is just some of the information viewers of Leaving Neverland really should have been told.

WADE ROBSON’S BEHAVIOUR BETWEEN JACKSON’S DEATH AND MAKING ALLEGATIONS IN 2013 :

•In the days after Jackson’s death, Robson released a statement praising Jackson as “one of the main reasons I believe in the pure goodness of human kind.”[iii]

•He asked Jackson’s nephew for tickets to the memorial at Staples Center, before trying to solicit work from Kenny Ortega, the director of Michael Jackson’s This Is It, to work on the movie.

•Robson was able to secure work with Janet Jackson, in her 2009 MTV Video Music Awards tribute to her late brother.

•In 2011, Robson approached John Branca, co-executor of the Michael Jackson Estate, about directing the new Michael Jackson/Cirque du Soleil production, ONE. Robson admitted he wanted the job “badly,” but the Estate ultimately chose someone else for the position.[iv]

•That same year, Robson attempted to sell several items of Michael Jackson memorabilia anonymously. According to Julien’s Auctions, Robson “needed the money”.[v]

•In 2012, Robson had a nervous breakdown, triggered, he said, by an obsessive quest for success. His career, in his own words, began to “crumble.”[vi]

•That same year, Robson began shopping a book that claimed he was sexually abused by Michael Jackson. No publisher picked it up.[vii]

•In the draft version of the book, Robson called himself a “master of deception”.[viii]

THE LAWSUIT :

•Leaving Neverland does mention that both Robson and Safechuck testified under oath in 1993 that Jackson had never abused them, while Robson also went on to testify at Jackson’s 2005 trial, again denying that anything ever happened. Robson never wavered in the face of withering cross-examination from one of California’s toughest prosecutors.

•But the documentary all but ignores Robson and Safechuck’s lawsuits against the Jackson Estate for hundreds of millions of dollars —which were dismissed and are currently under appeal.

•The suit is mentioned fleetingly, although neither Robson nor Safechuck are questioned by Reed about the ongoing litigation, or their motives for pursuing it.

•Robson filed a $1.5 billion dollar civil lawsuit/creditor’s claim in 2013. He first filed it under seal (a procedure allowing sensitive or confidential information to be filed with a court without becoming a matter of public record), in the hope of reaching a financial settlement with the Jackson Estate out of the public eye.

•As for Safechuck, by his own admission, he did not “realize” that he had been abused until after he saw Robson being interviewed on television in May 2013 about his claim of abuse.[ix]

•Yet in Leaving Neverland, Safechuck claims he knew he’d been abused when he told his mother that Jackson was “evil” during Jackson’s trial in 2005.

•Estate attorney Howard Weitzman says that by 2013, Safechuck “was in serious need of money, the failed dreams of a successful acting and music career having long since passed him by”.[x]

•After Robson filed his suit, Safechuck contacted Robson’s lawyers and filed copycat lawsuits against the Estate for millions of dollars.

•The Estate spent years litigating with Robson and Safechuck, and the four different lawsuits by the two men were eventually dismissed by a California judge in 2017.

THE LIES IN COURT :

•To be clear, the judge ruled that Jackson’s companies were not liable for any possible actions by Jackson; he did not rule on the credibility of the men’s allegations. But the trial judge in Robson’s initial case against the Estate disregarded his sworn statements on a summary judgment motion.[xi]

•Jackson estate attorney Howard Weitzman said Robson was “caught lying repeatedly” in the dismissed litigations.[xii] Weitzman said: “For example, in order to try to get around the statute of limitations for monetary claims against the Estate, Robson testified under oath that ‘prior to March 4, 2013, I did not understand or was even aware that an Estate had been opened for administration’.”[xiii]

•The attorney said this was “a lie”, as Robson had in fact met with John Branca, one of the Estate’s executors, in 2011 in his failed effort to solicit work with the Estate on a Michael Jackson-themed Cirque du Soleil show.[xiv]

•Weitzman added: “The trial judge found one of Robson’s lies so incredible that the trial judge disregarded Robson’s sworn declaration and found that no rational jury could possibly believe Robson’s sworn statements.”[xv]

•Weitzman said Robson was also trying to hide evidence, before his cases were dismissed. “For example,” Weitzman said, “Robson lied under oath and stated that, other than one brief email in late 2012, he had had “no written communications” with anyone (other than his attorneys) about his newly-concocted allegations that he was abused by Jackson.

•This turned out to be a complete and utter lie. Robson had actually shopped a book about his allegations in the year prior to filing his lawsuit—a book he tried to hide from the Estate.”[xvi]

STORY’S INCONSISTENCY :

•Weitzman said Robson’s book told a completely different story of how he was first abused by Jackson. When asked about some of these discrepancies at his deposition, Robson explained that his memories had “evolved” since writing the draft of the book in late 2012 and early 2013.[xvii]

•During his lawsuit against Jackson’s Estate, Robson was ordered by the court to produce all documents about written communications with anyone about his supposed abuse.

•In one email, he listed over 20 different questions to his mother asking her about the specific details of his interactions with Jackson. Some of these included: “Can you explain all that you remember of that first night at Neverland? What happened when we drove in, what did we do? And that first weekend at Neverland?”[xviii]

•Despite telling the detailed story of his first night at Neverland, in the documentary, as if it is his own memory, at his deposition, Robson admitted that he “did not know” if his memory of that night “came from [his] own recollection or [if] it was told to [Robson] by someone else.”[xix]

•Another email showed that Robson found one particular story from the early 1990s which specifically named him and his mother. He emailed it to his mother and asked whether it was true. She replied, ‘Wow, none of that is true’. But Robson included it in his story regardless.[xx]

•Safechuck, meanwhile, claimed in his sworn declaration that he was first abused on the Paris leg of the Bad Tour in late June 1988.[xxi]

•He later said that, after the tour ended, Jackson flew him out to New York “in February 1989” where Jackson was performing at the Grammy’s. Safechuck stated that he was abused on this trip. However, the Grammy’s were not in New York, in 1989; it were in Los Angeles that year and Jackson did not perform.

•Jackson performed at the Grammy’s, in New York, in February 1988, before Safechuck claims he was first abused.[xxii]

•In the documentary, Safechuck also makes a claim that he refused to testify for Jackson, in the 2005 trial. However, neither Jackson nor his legal team could have called Safechuck as a witness, as the judge ruled that ‘evidence as to Jimmy Safechuck will not be needed’.[xxiii]

HOW MUCH THE ACCUSERS OWN MICHAEL JACKSON’S ESTATE/ THE APPEAL :

•Dan Reed said Robson and Safechuck “have no financial interest in the documentary whatsoever”.[xxiv] But both are in debt since before make the accusations and also in debt to Jackson’s Estate by significant sums.

•Robson owes the Estate almost $70,000 dollars in court costs, and Safechuck owes the Estate several thousand dollars as well.[xxv]

•Robson and Safechuck are pursuing appeals of the judgments against them, appeals that will probably be heard this year.

•Estate attorney Weitzman says the pair are using the Leaving Neverland documentary to revive their dismissed lawsuits. It is just another tool in their litigation playbook, which they are obviously using in a very misguided effort to somehow affect their appeals,” he said.[xxvi]

•Weitzman added: “The film ignores the countless facts and circumstances evincing that these stories have been trumped up by Robson, Safechuck, and their shared litigation attorneys as part of an ongoing campaign of lawsuits, where they are attempting to recover hundreds of millions of dollars in damages against the Jackson Estate and affiliated companies for the supposed abuse they suffered.”[xxvii].

BRETT BARNES :

•During one scene of the documentary, Wade Robson’s mother explains that she got very upset with Jackson when he told her that he would not be taking Robson on the Dangerous World Tour. Mrs Robson added that she was especially upset because Jackson had taken another boy and his family on the tour.

•Footage of the boy, Brett Barnes, and Jackson on the Dangerous World Tour was then shown. Robson then said that was when he realised he had been “replaced” by that boy. Any reasonable viewer would interpret that to mean that Jackson was also sexually abusing Barnes on the tour. In the documentary, a brief written denial from Barnes features on the screen, inserted after Brett Barnes denied and threatened them with a suit .

•Barnes is said to be considering suing hbo, alleging that Leaving Neverland insinuates he was abused by Jackson.[xxix] He was also not consulted about his inclusion in the film.

•Barnes wrote on Twitter: “Not only do we have to deal with these lies, but we’ve also got to deal with people perpetuating these lies.

•”The fact that they fail to do the small amount of research it takes to prove these are lies, by choice or not, makes it even worse.”[xxx]

•After Robson first went on television in May 2013 to talk about his alleged abuse, Barnes said, on a tweet : “I wish people would realise, that, in your last moments on this earth, all the money in the world will be of no comfort. My clear conscience will.”[xxxi]

•The documentary ratings would surely not have been affected if Reed had chosen to make a more balanced film. The two men agreed to do the film after their lawsuits against Jackson’s Estate, in which they sought millions of dollars, were thrown out. So, as a journalist , Reed had a duty to challenge them, rather than just take the accusations at face value. You’ve heard the prosecution, but not the defence. And that’s a failure in journalism.”

— Mike Smallcombe is a UK journalist and author of a biography on Michael Jackson, Making Michael.

[squidlauncher64-blog]

3 Reasons Star Wars will Never Live up to the Hype, and 3 Reasons Why That’s fine

Star Wars fans are very passionate and usually more intense than other fanbases. For many of the fans, Star Wars was an important part of their childhood. Star Wars showcased a universe with interesting creatures and worlds, along with characters and stories that are relatable; essentially teaching kids to use their imagination. This passion continued on into adulthood for most fans and is comparable only to fans of sports teams. This passion makes the fanbase very opinionated. Just ask any fan what they thought of episode VIII (be careful if you decide to do this, you could be in for a very long discussion). The fans are so opinionated that they have crafted long arguments all over the internet, for example, the who shot first debate between Han Solo and Greedo. Another popular argument is “ are ewoks cute creatures or vicious carnivores? just to name a few. The fanbase isn’t just opinionated about Star Wars they are obsessive about it. Not only do fans argue about Star Wars, they go beyond that to in-depth research that constitutes a fan theory: a much more complex type of fan argument. Fan theories are speculation about where a film or franchise is heading or an answer to a question posed by fans. All fan theories are based on evidence found in films and other sources. Some popular fan theories include why do Stormtroopers have bad aim and was Darth Vader not completely evil until after episode IV? But with this obsession comes high expectations from every fan. Here are 3 reasons why Star Wars can’t live up to the hype and 3 reasons why it’s acceptable that Star Wars doesn't meet expectations.

#1 The abundance of fan theories

As mentioned above, we all want Star Wars to live up to our expectations from our favorite fan theories. When Star Wars episode VII came out, the big mystery was, who are Rey’s parents. Many theories were formulated to answer that question. Some theorized that Rey was the daughter of Luke Skywalker; others believed she was a granddaughter of Obi-Wan Kenobi, or that she was Leia and Han Solo’s daughter; still others believed that she was a daughter of Palpatine. A significant amount of research was put into these theories, some even analyzing Rey’s fighting style to compare it to Palpatine’s. Other theories state that Han Solo and Leia don’t recognize Rey in their first encounter with her as evidence that she was not their child. Some fan theories delve even deeper, stating that Obi-Wan is the one who calls out to her in her force vision in episode VII. Rey could only have one parentage and some fans were disappointed when her parentage was revealed.

Another fan theory came from Star Wars Episode VIII The Last Jedi about Luke specifically (Spoilers in the paragraph below). These fan theories were formed to explain the cause Luke’s death at the end of the episode VIII. Some fans believe that he died from the effort of projecting himself across the galaxy to save the Resistance. Others believe he died because he willingly became one with the force, that he had accomplished what he had to do and had finally forgiven himself for the mistakes he made by helping create Kylo Ren by drawing out his dark side. The fans have spent a lot of time trying to create these fan theories that predict desirable outcomes for the characters. Realistically, not all of them will be true and some fans will feel let down.  

#2 The spectacle of Star Wars battles

One of the staples of Star Wars movies is the large scale battles. We have come to expect very intense battles characterized by incredible music, high stakes, creative camera work, and epic combat. In Star Wars Episode IV for example, we have the Death Star, a massive battle station capable of destroying planets. The Empire has found the Rebel base and the Rebels are racing to blow up the Death Star. They are outgunned, outmanned, and have to destroy the Death Star before the Empire can fire on the rebel base. In Star Wars episode V, we have the battle of Hoth, the Empire has found the new Rebel base and starts an epic ground assault to take over the base, and they attempt to prevent the Rebels from escaping. In Star Wars Rogue One, the Rebels are attempting to steal the Death Star plans from a data vault. They try to sneak in but they are discovered and an epic battle ensues on the planet and in space.         

Although some battles live up to the hype, others do not. This does not mean that they are terrible, just not up to fan expectations. Star Wars episode VIII has an epic final battle on Crait and the Resistance is pinned in a bunker without a way to escape. The only ships the Resistance can use are old clunkers; a major disadvantage for the heroes. Then Luke comes back and distracts the First Order, while the Resistance finds a way out. This fell short in the eyes of fans because the Resistance finds a way to escape, instead of a major conflict with the First Order like the fans were expecting.  In episode III,  the Chancellor has been captured by the Separatists and the Republic mounts an epic space assault to save him. Anakin and Obi-Wan board a huge ship and fight through many enemies to rescue Chancellor Palpatine. This battle fell short because the majority of the scenes are dedicated to saving the Chancellor; the fans would have wanted a drawn out space battle. While Star Wars has displayed many great battles, some have fallen short in the eyes of fans.  

#3 Star Wars means something different to different fans

       Star Wars is unique in that it appeals to different people for a variety of reasons. These different reasons, hopes, or dreams for Star Wars often divide the fanbase. I personally still enjoy Star Wars; I grew up watching the original trilogy and the prequels. These movies spoke to me as a kid. Star Wars is a story about a boy who came from humble circumstances as a farmer that later saved the galaxy. I felt if Luke could do that, I could be whoever I wanted to be. I cherished these stories, because I learned courage as a kid, if Luke could stand up to the Empire, I could stand up for what I knew was right and overcome adversity. That is why I am fond of Star Wars. I have met fans who like Star Wars because it takes you to far away places where you meet new creatures. I have met other fans who enjoy the space battles and even some fans who root for the Empire to win. There is only 2 hours in a film and in that limited time the directors cannot feasibly appeal to all of the fanbase.

#1 Unrealistic expectations of fans

The directors of Star Wars movies are under a tremendous amount of pressure, to both please the fanbase and make money for the studio that is creating Star Wars. As was previously stated, Rey could only have one parentage, the director made a choice about her parentage, and many fans were disappointed. Some fans want Kylo Ren and Rey to become a couple and that hasn’t happened yet. Many fans believe that Luke did not behave like they would have wanted or expected in episode VIII. Luke Skywalker, in episode VIII, was a man who was beaten, who didn’t want to save the galaxy. According to some fans and critics, Star Wars episode VII was too similar to episode IV. As a result of the reviews from Star Wars VII, the movie studio decided to make a radically different and new film in Star Wars episode VIII, but they drew mixed reviews from audience and critics alike. The directors are in a tough situation to please a passionate fanbase.

To add to this pressure that is put on them from the fans, the directors films are expected to be successful. Fans have specific expectations rising from the fan theories and fan arguments; almost every fan has someway they want these movies to play out. The directors have to make specific decisions about plot and character development; these specific decisions can alienate different factions of the fanbase. To even further stress out the directors, Disney bought Star Wars for four billion dollars and they expect to make a significant of money off of this investment.          

#2 The need to appeal to different audiences

    In order for Star Wars to be profitable, it needs to appeal to multiple audiences not just the fanatical fanbase. There is the occasional moviegoer, for whom the movie would have to be simple and easy to understand. No need to talk about parsecs and gundarks. Another audience is kids, they want to see the hero triumph, they want to be filled with hope that they can overcome their challenges, that good will triumph over evil. Finally there are fanboys or the fanbase, the polar opposite of the occasional movie viewer. The fanboys want to study the movie, find all the easter eggs, and have the movie play out how they would want or expect based off of extensive research.   

Disney is supposed to appeal to all these different audiences and that seems impossible. Just imagine what would happen if directors tried to appease everyone, the movie would be long, confusing, and the plot wouldn’t make sense. With all these things that make Star Wars likeable to different audiences, now the creators have to please everyone and that is not a realistic expectation for the creators to fulfill all of our hopes or desires.

#3 At least we still have Star Wars

    Many critics believed that the prequels would have stopped Star Wars because of their low quality and poor reception from audiences, but they were wrong. The fanbase, although divided, is very strong, they clamor for new releases, holding hope in the face of past disappointments for good movies. After a Star Wars trilogy is finished, there is often a break between films.  There was a sixteen year gap between episodes VI and I, and a ten year gap between episode III and VII. Episode I made 1.027 billion dollars, and episode VII made 2.066 billion dollars because the fans came out and got excited about Star Wars coming back. When a new trailer comes out, there is a lot of hype because of the passionate fanbase. I still get excited every time a new trailer comes out. We as fans should be optimistic that Star Wars will get better and at the very least Star Wars will continue on for a long time.  

Conclusion

Every fan has some way we would like the series to play out. We all want our version of Star Wars to be the one that comes out in theaters which is not realistic, but that’s ok. The Star Wars fanbase is very passionate and that passion makes us hard to please. Disney is trying to please the fanbase and they are creating exciting Star Wars content coming out soon; such as the mandalorian tv show, and the clone wars tv show reboot. We as fans, should be grateful that Star Wars is still going, and that it’s future is bright.

#star wars #star wars fans

[cardhouseandthecage]

I actually am wondering about the Star recruitment process, Denizen-Star communication, and the interface between our reality and Faerie with regard to all this. Like if you or I was to get sucked into the Star process, what would it be like in terms of ordinary logistics? How would they first reach out to us? What if we tried something like getting other people involved who legit believed in all this but the Cardhouse really didn't want them involved? Apologies if this can't really be answered!

an EXCELLENT QUESTION, friend, and incidentally a subject of ongoing investigation on my part. THE subject of ongoing investigation. My whole life. Which is to say: I can’t give you a complete answer—I can’t even necessarily give you a correct answer—but you have absolutely come to the right place. You wont get any kind of answer anywhere else. Here’s what I’ve pieced together from my research, thus far:I. The first thing you need to know about Stars is that they don’t actually believe in fairies. Not Literally. Not necessarily. 

You are familiar, I assume, with the Moment of Magical Proof™? You’ll find it with most stories that begin in the mundane. Our protagonist might want to believe in magic, but they can’t—magic is fake and everyone knows it—so they’ll rationalize for as long as they can. Then something happens. Magic intrudes upon their lived experience in a way they can no longer deny. YER A WIZARD, HARRY. Magic is real, and will continue to be real for the duration of the narrative.

That moment never happens.

There is no first contact for a Star, no revelation, no paradigm shift: it’s only ever a slow fade. And that little voice of in the back of their heads, the one that knows none of this could ever be real? It never goes away. That’s important. It’s part of what splits them—and without a split there is no harvest.

The Cardmaster settled upon this business model for a reason. Certainly he could present the Cardhouse more literally, but he’d be working against dominant trends: most people don’t believe in fairies literally, and our beliefs govern the channels through which fairies can contact us. So if you don’t really believe that some fairy bitch could pup up in your window and approach you with the deal of a lifetime, they’re going to have a really difficult time making that happen.* It’s much more cost-effective to build on a pre-existing system of belief than to overturn it. 

II. But what’s all this nonsense about the power of belief, HQ? Are you really going to sit there behind your screen and tell me that you subscribe to Magical Thinking? Who exactly is funding this study???

AHAHAHAHAHA NO ONE, naturally, but also: no. No, of course not! I may not be funded but I take myself very seriously here: I’m not arguing that our beliefs can change reality directly. Antoine was absolutely right about the tree root: that’s a thing in the physical universe and it’s going to go on existing regardless of what we think about it—outside of what we think of it. Oxygen doesn’t care about my feelings! There’s a side of things won’t budge, no matter what I believe (I know this; I’ve tried). Even if I clapped my hands and dreamed with every fibre of my being, it wouldn’t wouldn’t make a fairy into something I could bring into a lab and prove.

But my belief would change something. It would change the Faerie-Reality interface. If I believed fairies were real, they’d be real to me. It would change how they exist in the extra-dimensional space in my head. And that space in my head—in all of our heads—that’s the dimension of things that connects up with Faerie. That’s what empties into Faerie, perpetually, without our volition or consent. I’m fooling myself if I think I’m in control of that space just because my thoughts effect it: I didn’t choose most of my beliefs any more than I chose my body. There’s a whole world of thought that I inherited, and correspondingly a whole landscape of Faerie that’s built up in connection to Reality over time. By this mechanism, then, our beliefs can alter reality: indirectly. Reality generates Faerie, but Faerie is incessantly fucking with us in return, and the ways in which it fucks with us influence the actions we take in Reality. III. Any agency behind such fuckery I term “a fairy.” 

Fairies “live” in the backworld (they’re made of the same stuff it is) and can manipulate the residue that accumulates there: they’re not real by any means, but they do exist. It is worth noting that fairies, by this definition, don’t give a damn whether we believe in them. This may first strike you as counter-intuitive: if they’re made of our thoughts, then surely our belief means a great deal to them? To which I answer: yes, it does. Absolutely. Just not in the way that you’d think. I’m guessing you’ve probably encountered some version theory of belief-dependancy and the Decline of the Mythical? It’s related to a lot of things (many of which are true, see: placebo effect), but generally it asserts that the vitality of imaginary beings has diminished in direct proportion to our diminishing “belief” in them, and consequently there has been a great falling off in the power of gods and fairies and the like as we have entered the modern era. My findings suggest the otherwise. I say we still believe in plenty of “unreal” things, and as strongly as ever we did. Even our science feeds into the Faerie: it’s made of our thought! We use science to describe reality, but it itself is not fully “real.” Besides which, it’s not as if fairies are limited to drawing upon our literal beliefs. We don’t generally think of fiction as real, and yet it shapes us. And a desire can be every bit as potent as a belief. Fairies don’t care whether we believe in them: all they require is that we want to. They’ll play our beliefs against our desires and catch us between them, bring us to our knees before the impossible; we’ll yield our sacrifice readily enough, god or no god.  All they require is that we dream. 

So no, I don’t think we’ve impoverished fairies at all by sorting fact from fiction as we have. I think we’ve blinded ourselves to their power, locked the door and thrown away the key only to have them catch it. I think we’ve given them everything. I think we’ve spoiled them.

IV. But I digress. You asked me about the logistics of Star recruitment and Denizen-Star communication. 

It starts, traditionally enough, with a fairy ring.

Not a literal ring, generally (that’s very retro), but the there are certain channels of interface—certain ‘meta-forums’—that the Cardhouse keeps open as traps for potential candidates. For a while now, the internet has been the best “place” to set up such a forum, so they frequently overlay or branch off from real online sites. But they could be anywhere. Any work of fiction can easily serve as a jumping off point (provided it’s fantastical enough), or else game of make-believe, or even a good old-fashioned glade or a shopping centre or an abandoned house. If you’re intrepid enough you might find your way to to one through pure whimsy: it’s only a matter of stumbling into the right headspace.

Unfortunately, there’s no clear indicator for when such a stumbling has transpired. The meta-forums interface so seamlessly with what we think of as plausible that we don’t recognise them when we see them and we can’t tell once we’re in.** You can’t necessarily tell when someone else is in one either. It just looks like preoccupation—an obliviousness to the “real world.” But it also looks perfectly realistic, especially from the standpoint of the Star. Because fiction exists, and games exist, and there are all kinds of things you can get obsessed with on the internet and none of them especially challenge the laws of physics. They way you engage with the meta-forum doesn’t look different from how you’d engage with any other imaginary thing. Generally, it starts out as a game or an RP or a kind of choose-your-own-adventure story through which you get to know the characters and the basic setup. That setup presents itself very differently depending on what you’re into, but you’re usually given to understand that the Cardhouse produces very special magical items, and that you can help the Cardmaster gather ingredients for these items by undertaking quests or solving puzzles or making certain offerings or blending the perfect tea or getting your two favourite denizens to make kiss or doing whatever it is you’re doing that is “playing the game”. One denizen in particular serves as your primary contact and guide. You might also be given to understand that Cardhouse products are all a part of the ongoing effort to Fight The Encroaching Darkness. It’s a very all-consuming obsession, and while you’re immersed in you often ‘forget’ it isn’t real, but never in a way that raises any suspicion. For the most part, you know it’s just a game. And for some people that’s all it ever is, and they move on.

If you are destined to become a Star, however, at some point the game will change. One day, your denizen approaches you in great distress: the threat of the Encroaching Darkness, they say, is much worse than they had previously let on. The game might end, as if it had never been! You may well never see us again, in which case… farewell in advance! It will be a very moving performance, and naturally you, the potential Star, will be deeply upset by this news. If you’re right for the job you will offer up your assistance on the spot, unprompted. You will say the magic words. Is there anything you can do to help?

…Funny You Should Ask.

And now the denizen will lay it out: there is, in fact, a way. You may not know this, but you happen to be a very special sort of person: a Star sleeps within you—a great power—but its light is not for the human world. If you were to promise to fight on our behalf, we could help you unlock that power on the other side. You would swear fealty to the Cardmaster, pledging your light to the cause and security of our House, and help us to beat back the darkness. But be warned! It is no task for the faint of heart. You would be asked to undertake missions in the depths of the Wild Lands, where evils reign free. You would be placed in grave danger. So yes, you really could save us, but we would never ask anyone to accept such a burden! If however you should choose to do so….well. You would be richly rewarded.

If it’s gotten to this point, the potential Star (feeling very heroic) almost always accepts.They are assigned to a team and presented with a “cage” to help concentrate their powers and serve as a holding space for any magical items they’re give in Faerie. The cage exists between realms and the Star can access it from either side. Generally, the more they use their powers as a Star, the more it fills up with light for them to draw upon. Doing certain things in the Mundane however can cause that light to diminish or spill out, so they learn to avoid doing those things. Yet insofar as they are human, the Star still regards this all as a kind of fantasy. Insofar as they’re a fairy, however, it is very real. How any given Star rationalizes the paradox will vary, but at no point does the human fully “believe” that what’s happening is real. So a fissure develops between the two selves, and the more and more the Star invests in their fae identity, the deeper it splits them.

And here is the difficult part—the part no one understands. People often ask me what a Star’s human self is doing when they are a fairy. Are they sleeping? Unconscious? Physically elsewhere? Mentally dead? Sitting behind a computer screen as in hypnosis? All of those, possibly. None of those, necessarily. The trouble is that there’s not a one-to-one correspondence between time spent in Faerie and time spent in Reality, so it never maps on perfectly. It’s very difficult to make it add up: I don’t have a working model for this part at all.

But I do know this. When a Star is harvested, they are harvested whole. No one notices them go, and there is no body to find. Everything that ought to have been real about them has been redirected to the other side. They make ghosts of themselves. They split off without a trace.

——

*Oh, you might say, well if it’s as easy as believing…—no. Believing is far from easy, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Not convinced? Then try! As an experiment: just try to alter your basic beliefs in what’s possible and what’s not. Tell yourself you might wake up in a flower tomorrow morning. It’s possible! Tell yourself the earth of flat (come on, really in vogue). Or tell yourself I’m right! Tell yourself believing makes any difference. COME ON JUST BELIEVE IN YOURSELF,,,YOU CAN DO IT!! Ha. Of course you can’t. 

**This may appear to stand in contrast to more traditional fairy-lore, but I think it’s actually very much in line (and it’s one of the many reason I’ve chosen to call these creatures fairies). Sure, in those stories, the human usually knows that they’ve crossed into some kind of Other Realm and accepts the fairies as real, but none of that especially shocks them. They’re not experiencing any major paradigm shift: either they’re in an altered state or this encounter still falls well within their understanding of “plausible.” But their conceptions of plausibility will only stretch so far: they don’t understand that time is passing differently in the other realm, that a very alien set of “rules” governs the very fabric of it. The shock only comes when the person tries to leave Faerie as they would leave a party at someone’s house, and finds that they can’t. And it’s the same with Stars. Our notions of plausible versus implausible have shifted a little, so the trick happens at a different level, but it’s the same trick. The human has passed into foreign territory, but they’re still processing it in mundane terms, and consequently they won’t pick up on the most “unrealistic” aspects of the encounter (if ever) until it’s too late.

#meta #about the cardhouse #about faerie #about fairies #from the diaries of HQ #or maybe just #IC: HQ #about stars #about denizens #dubiously correct meta from your post-unreliable narrator

[window-301]

Brutally Honest Venus in Houses

Venus in House I Aren’t you miss Marilyn Monroe? You present yourself to the world with charm and cuteness and get stuff on your way like that. You’re very flirty and love to play dumb so stupid people thinking they’re too smart will lecture you and you will even get out of the situation pretending you’re a good learner when in fact you’re just being diplomatic and shady. You like to be sexually admired and know how to use it in your favor without being obvious. How not to like you? Not even you know that.

Venus in House II Here comes Lana del Rey in her Sugar Baby phase. Maybe is not even conscious but your love life has to be luxurious and you will probably fall for rich people - not that you are actively looking for this kind of thing. To you, romantic means financial effort, and if they care enough they will do it for you, right? Also you’re pretty obsessed with stability. Love comes with a price, and you won’t marry and put your being in the hands of someone who can’t even pay its own bills. Maybe you have a heritage or come from a wealthy family, and you will keep at least the same pattern of life you already have with someone stable that knows how to $ enjoy $ life.

Venus in House III You probably fell in love for a teacher once. You just can’t resist a sweet talk and somebody that can share stories, knowledge, with good humor and a mind sharp… you’re so done. You also like to be with someone that can talk about anything without making a big deal of it, and if they don’t have anything interesting to say anymore you get bored and that’s it, the end. Also because of your endless need for new information and learning you may feel polyamory is something considerable, maybe even desirable. So many people with so many stories to share! Or maybe not, if you date a true nerd with a good heart. Is very likely you will find romance in school or college, or any study group, and maybe inspire you to follow an academic or scholar career.

Venus in House IV You are very, very, very romantic and sentimental. Love means marrying and children, or at least marrying and having loving pets to raise. Sometimes both. You like the traditional bound - you may even say is not for you but honey, you don’t fool anyone. You like the idea of having a ring in your finger and showing off your sweet partner while making up names for your future children (or pets). You probably came from a family that gave you this traditional view - or from a so fucked up family you desired your whole life yours were better than that and decided to make your new family the closest thing possible from a traditional one. Either way, you will look for someone that can handle your family or be among the other half’s family as it were yours. And you are a hard worker to keep things as perfect as a butter advertise.

Venus in House V You are so in love… with yourself. And everything you create. You are expressive and people love your presence - they better do, you’re a fucking genius - and you know how to attract people, how to flirt, how to keep them interested. Is like they say: work on your garden and the butterflies will come to you, and geez, your garden is a stage with high quality lightning while Mozart plays in the background to make the flowers grow more beautifully. You work on your appearance, on your expressiveness, you know exactly what you’re doing and those who don’t know how to appreciate it are not worthy of you. Your partner is someone you picked from your fans, they must admire you too - better saying, they have to understand what you are and what you do. Otherwise why even bother to lose your time with them? Losers.

Venus in House VI You love someone who is responsible and hard working. Love to you is something a bit colder than others, you have high standards for what you want in your life and need someone to help you achieve it. This someone must work as hard as you do, must cooperate with you and stand still facing critics because you’re really mental, and your relationship is one of the things you will analyze more than feel it. The problem is you might over analyze it and ruin things when they were supposed to be ok. Chill, man. You do a good work, trust your standards, you will do fine. And so will the person you coldly chose to be with you. You will probably fall in love for a competent co-worker, maybe even your boss, or someone with a very practical view.

Venus in House VII You’re the Venus itself. You’re a social butterfly and diplomatic af, everybody likes you and you don’t even give them the chance to not like you. You’re so fucking nice and loving, how can they not like you? Unless you have a stellium in aries or something, geez, you’re good at attracting people. You will probably fall in love for pretty people, be pretty yourself and want pretty things surrounding you. You’re all about beauty - inner and outer, but c'mon, everybody likes the outer more. You’re well behaved, gentle, you talk looking into people’s eyes and genuinely asks if everything is ok. You will probably marry and be very happy since the person that will be attracted to you will admire every piece of you, and feel lucky to have you around. Just run from people that use other people (they might perceive you’re too nice and use the shit out of you) and creeps (they might see your kindness as openness and try to do creepy shit).

Venus in House VIII The more complicated, the better. Not because of drama, you just like… intense things. Normal relationships bore the shit out of you, you need something that will change your life completely, change the way you see things, you feel things, someone that can divide your life in “Before my partner” and “After my partner”. Someone to do new things, develop new dreams, and someone to take care emotionally and trust completely. You’re not the type of going around telling everyone you’re in love - sometimes you don’t even feel it coming. Is just there, and then you want that person all for you, in a very possessive way, and do everything to mark your territory without being obvious. You like mysterious people, or just really different people, because they will make you feel beyond the obvious and share dark secrets - the ultimate love proof for you. You may have a thing for people you shouldn’t - be the other person, or even cheat. You also are a bit traditional… but a darker version, like Morticia and Gomez - to die and kill for it. Partners in life, partners in crime. Usually in life, though, if you’re healthy.

Venus in House IX You want to PaAaARtYy. Woohoo. You have energy, passion, attitude, and you fall for very optimistic people that will take you out of your comfort zone and go beyond with you. You might fall for college teachers and researchers, maybe people that traveled the world, or even high knowledged religion leaders, like priests. Or just a parter for crazy ideas. To you, a relationship must be something to add flavor and spice to your life and make it something incredible. Make you do incredible things, go to places you never - or always - dreamed of. The ultimate romance is to take you in a trip where you will experiment so many new things and cultures. You’re all about expansion and your love will take you beyond, make you learn something new, master a new technique… love is something almost religious that will bring you salvation. The problem is when you notice the patterns of things and get bored, or if your beloved is passing through dark times of regression. You feel lonely and that energy becomes irritation, and you may go alone with hope to find new love since you have no time for sad people.

Venus in House X You’re the boss here. You know exactly what you want for love, and this comes with traditionalism, effort and a good status. You like the idea of marrying and having kids but indifferently from your gender you will be the “man” of the house, the boss. You will lead the relationship, take the initiative, ask to go on a date, decide when to marry, choose where to live, what to do, how to do. You are very hard working and security is important to you - and if the person doesn’t give you enough of it you will just fire them and leave the spot open to better candidates. You may seem cold but you don’t play with your life and love is something strong for you, so you just don’t give it for anyone that messes with your head. You actually know very well the difference between love and lust and are able to have lustful relationships without love, just to relieve your carnal needs. Cold, right? But real. You take responsibilities and obligations very seriously, and if you decide to bond with someone you will do it in the right way.

Venus in House XI You’re popular and care about everyone. When it comes to love you have to find someone that will bond with your friends and coworkers. You go along with everybody and important people tend to like you. You may get involved with someone very political, or with strong political views, particularly with the power to actually do something for the masses. Or maybe a technologic nerd that is developing solutions for daily problems. You’re all about improvement and will want someone to share this view, and work together to something that will help others somehow. You’re here to make things better and your partner must recognize this. You don’t fall a little tiny for selfish bastards, even if they look pretty af - at this point you’re probably questioning the beauty standards and laughing at people that tries too hard to look good. You’re different, unique, and sometimes this is a blessing, sometimes a curse. You know you’re out of the place and fall for smart all of the place people like you. And if your morals and political views matches you will probably going to die together, holding hands and shit.

Venus in House XII Your love is unconscious. You’re dreamy and imagine a life together with an ideal you’re afraid it doesn’t exist. This may indicate your love is in a past life too, someone you’ve bond so strongly you miss him/her and don’t even know its face. Your love makes you better as a person, grow and learn more about you. You might feel you’re infantile and this is so strange for you, while it seems so obvious for others, and will want to hide and never try. You’re too ashamed to show your feelings and always expect the worst, sometimes making a self fulfilled prophecy, and then going after easy escapes such drugs, games, porn. Bonding is specially hard for you because that’s what you need most to grow, and growing is never easy. You might break up as soon as you realize the person is not what you wanted it to be, not wanting to deal with their problems. Don’t run. You’re lovely and you can make your big dreams come true if you stay and keep on trying. Or at least the closest thing to true, which is fantastic anyway, because you’re a fabulous dreamer and that’s a great gift.

#Venus #Houses #house 1 #house 2 #house 3 #house 4 #house 5 #house 6 #house 7 #house 8 #house 9 #house 10 #house 11 #house 12 #aries #Taurus #Gemini #cancer #Leo #Virgo #libra #Scorpio #Sagittarius #Capricorn #Aquarius #Pisces

[thatgirlwhoworksforwhatshew-blog]

tarak,

lets not beat around the bush, i miss you. like alot.

im not even going to get into what are the things that keep reminding me of th time we had, because thatd be me listing out my every minute of the day. yes, there are times when i remember you not for the good-reasons, but mostly i end up wanting to think of you instead of living in such a denial of ‘im over you’.

i know you must be going through alot, im not trying to compare us here, on who is feeling it more deeply, quality and quantity- how much ever of a utilitarian i claim to be, i want to be stupidly selfish enough to say i feel it hit me very hard. especially when i see people around me claim their relationships to be like the epitome of perfection and love, i just cant help but think of the beautiful masterpiece we could have made together. 

they say ‘chaos brings art’., that, time will tell. until then, ill just sit around and feel things like how its supposed to be.

i hope its not that hard on you.whom am i kidding, how much ever i convince myself that you will get over me, by pouring alot of ‘hate’ like how your friends wanted you to, im still silly enough to hope that you wouldnt be that harsh on me. gosh, this is never going to happen is it? im only going to die in dissapointment of letting things go this far, and getting nothing in return(when i now have the chance) or do i?

i know you, i know the charm, i know how you effect people, and how much ever stupid and goofy you get around me, i know what you are- or atleast i knew. why did we let things go this recklessly? i was immature, but why dint we sort things out then and there. gosh, i just cant look at the word jodhpur without a little guilt., i cannot look at any word starting with a T, and has both R and K. 

do you have any idea how many songs have the word tara, taraka, in them? its like some stupid prank someone is pulling on me. my mom also began to ask me how youre doing, she out of everyone, made an assumption that my mood is practically proportional to my time on my phone and phone calls, which basically is only with you. so she goes like “oh, tarak dint call today” after few days, she began to wonder if things were fine with you, and i burst out angrily, that ‘you should be fine because youre avoiding me’. please be true! anyway, i dont care where this questioning is coming from, but i reasoned out how this equation of my good moods being equated with our calls, was a little irring in the beginning, because i dont think i need some ONE person to keep me happy. it was a troubling thought which i used to hold a grudge on myself for depending on you for what ever greedy reasons. but i began to realise how first, that wasnt the case. i wsnt greedy on this reason, i was just looking for a support and a person to share my happiness with. i was greedy maybe when it came to things like, eventhough i knew it was hard for you, i was still there poking things and making it harder for you. TO THE EXTENT THAT YOU NOW BLOCKED ME. WOW. im not blaming you, maybe you did the right thing. maybe if you dint do that, we could have pulled each others hair out in this menace. but did we really do the right thing if i am feeling this way right now? whats the point tarak?

its 10:10 right now. wow. 

honestly, there are times when i thank myself for this space, because i really enjoy doing things for myself, but by the end of the day, i really hoped that youd call or email, so that i could tell you about all the amazing things i read, watched, discovered and i desperately want to share them with you, but i cant!

i got back to my bubble, my day basically revolves around reading and arranging my library. i still hold heidi close to myself when i sleep every night. i really regret not finishing it for you. but i dont know how much meaning she hold to you anyway. shes my world, she is the first thing i was obsessed with, and i thought she’d bring you similar joy, but now we never know i guess.

ive been doing philosophy for NET, although i havent started in serious mode, illl get there soon. i applied for an internship navdhanya, and have made plans of what to do with life., quite roughly. i even made a bucket list, of things i should try, filled with things that fascinate me. sample, fireflies. i never saw them in real life. and now i feel bad just by that thought. but yeah, i was pretty serious wheni made that list, and i keep adding things into it every now and then. i dont know why i mentioned this now, but i felt like it. ohh, since im updating about life, i should mention how i spoke to dad(basically, a mail) about most of the things i could never say to him, mostly stressing on how now i should be left unbothered. 

since i couldnt give rockstar another chance, sorry boss, the thought of having to go through that actress’ bad acting for three hours was itself torturous., i found the screenplay/script of the movie., and let me tell you how good i felt after reading it. i had better actors in my mind, and i dreamt about it for a couple of nights. it was a rollercoaster. i think screenplays do that to you. its like reading the book instead of watching the movie, but rockstar has to do with the songs, and since i had a clue about them, i can justify now. and i think i understand you better now, but i dont know, my timing of watching the movie is like another satire. not just this one, many more. gosh, i have like an entire saga of things i could use to cry over to. the other day, i cried while reading tagore poetry, although that was a worthy reason, its crazy how i dont know what little thing could be a trigger.

but how much ever i might try to romanticize all of this, tarak, i really think apart from the happy and goofy times we spent, which dont actually matter as much if we look back(except for nostagia purposes) id say we both needed a better versions, and both of us seperately too needed to be honest with what we are.. not just in showing the other person. im talking about myself mostly. and, for what ever we had, id hate to call it, but because of the lack of a better word, lets admit, we were toxic. and i have to say, how much ever you tried to get over your ego and wanted to be a feminist, looking back at minute details of the interactions we had, plus from the ones you talk about to others, i realised how often there were times when you basically preached something and failed to follow. im slightly ashamed to admit this, but i have gone through a phase of man-hating when i realised the things i have seen around,  thats basically when i realised how these could be the things you failed to see, (and prolly reasoned out for good enough reasons) but somewhere deep inside, i know its not so.like i read it in some book, (which bt the way, i should say felt like i was reading line by line about you) because it talks about how men who seem woke, but still choose to do the same thing, although for different reasons(or so they claim) is another result of the system. and i just cringed at this thought. because im sorry, but i felt it multiple times in our stay together. 

tarak, honestly how much ever im loving reading and researching, im afraid im getting very theoretical. now i cannot stop myself from pin pointing mistakes in everything, and am clearly missing out the beauty in things. if i learned one thing, love is for people who want to give up reason. if you are too calculated and stubborn, you can never love. im not saying im getting calculated and all brains-no-heart, but im slanting that way, and im just afraid i might never find redemption because i like this more. id choose this over love. for now. im sure time will prove me different, but let me tell you how much i value reading and art.

i guess we never spoke about this, why did we not? 

you know the whole ‘books are my bestfriends’? this is literally my life summarized. in my entire time at indus, i basically spent most of the time in the library, or in the washroom- where i used to sneak in, to bunk science classes. i had a reading tree also. under which i used to read in the sports period. prajeeth was a science guy, and the labs were right opposite to the library, so he used to keep a check on me, i often got late to catch my evening bus, so he’d make sure i dint. not to forget the music room. that was another room i spent some quality time in. while the library was in the first floor of the new building, the music room was in a circular room, on the terranc. the whole terrace was for music and art. we had a lot of empty open area where we were given assignments in. i love that place. id want to take you there one day, if, you know... 

so as i was saying, i just prefer reading and listening over anything. at this point, it feels like i know nothing apart from these both. i know you wouldnt agree with me being a good listener, but i know me, and i know im good.

well, now about us, i dont know. i really dont. i may say id be happy if you move on, and find yourself a woman, but i dont know if i can say it at this point, when im clearly meaning it. so, i can only hope for you to become a stronger person, collecting yourself from all of the past. and if you’re moving on, good for you., but id like to take my own sweet time with my memories of you,us, and laugh cry cringe all at once slowly. im not sating im attempting to get over you, because somehow that is making me think about you even more, and its actually making me want you for a whole different list of reasons. ill stick to this natural flow, and ill see you when i see you, years from now, or maybe more. somehow in the midst of some really stupid portions, there are some things you set a high limit in, for men to fill in- who might enter my life. so its going to be a big deal if i commit to someone tarak, and id still want to share about it with you, i dont know if that comes out from mere friendship or more, but i dont mind either ways.

i want to say this one last thing, because ive been wanting to say it for a long time, after the phone call.

it might be years later that we meet,and finally talk, when ever it is, how ever long it has been, if you turned out a good man, not just rational and responsible but realist and a romantic., id love for me to fall for you all over again, or maybe fall correctly* this time, until then ill wait.

 i want to wait. 

that’s me. there are surely many more things i want to say, but i will wait, like i said, and its not like youre going to read this, so its fine. ill look forward for what is coming, i hope you are healthy and are fine (at the least). i miss akbar, i hope aunty is not having a hard time seeing you break down anymore, i hope thats not the case, dont cry tarak! did you stop smoking? i was thinking about it on the 26th, i hope youre sticking to your resolution. i miss the smell of it, i sometimes open my specs-case to smell it, and it reminds me alot of you and red rum. its amazing. i miss it all, i miss you guys alot, i miss you babu. take care. 

xo

raaga.

[fitnesswomenshealth-blog]

Atypical Presentation of OCD in Children

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Atypical Presentation of OCD in Children

I have been an advocate for OCD recognition for over ten yrs and have not viewed substantially progress in the knowing and diagnosis of obsessive-compulsive dysfunction.

Estimates vary but continue to hover around 14-17 many years from onset of signs or symptoms to receiving a right prognosis and treatment method. That’s 14-17 many years of untreated OCD which becomes additional entrenched and tricky to treat as time goes by. To me, and I’m guessing to most people today, this is not acceptable.

In a July 2018 post revealed in Comprehensive Psychiatry titled “Atypical symptom presentations in kids and adolescents with obsessive compulsive disorder,” the authors depth some lesser-recognised signs or symptoms of OCD that children and adolescents may exhibit. Normally, clinicians who want to level the severity of obsessive and compulsive signs in kids and adolescents use the Children’s Yale Brown Obsessive Scale (CY-BOCS) checklist. This checklist contains the most widespread symptoms presented in youth with OCD and contains obsessions connected to contamination, aggression, and magical imagining, to title a number of. Compulsions stated consist of but are not restricted to, examining, counting, cleaning, repeating, and purchasing. The CY-BOCS can be an very valuable device for clinicians, specifically in diagnosing a extra “straightforward” scenario of OCD. Continue to, quite a few circumstances of childhood OCD are either undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. Sure, OCD authorities know their things, but there just are not enough of them to go all-around. Regretably, a lot of psychological health providers merely do not know a ton about obsessive-compulsive dysfunction.

Again to the examine outlined above which describes two unique types of atypical OCD indicators observed in 24 little ones. Researchers showed how these signs or symptoms are portion of a larger medical photograph, not a function of an alternate issue these kinds of as psychosis or autism spectrum dysfunction. As described listed here:

Twelve of the young children had obsessions rooted in a main sensory expertise (these kinds of as auditory, olfactory, or tactile) that they discovered intolerable and which was often linked to unique folks or objects. To soothe or stay clear of the involved sensory soreness, individuals were being driven to engage in time-consuming recurring behaviors. Numerous of these individuals struggled with regular things to do this sort of as having or putting on garments and can be at threat of seeming to exhibit signs of autism spectrum ailment, primarily when the affected individual has a degree of self-awareness that qualified prospects them to conceal the obsession guiding the behaviors.

The other 12 youngsters had obsessions rooted in people, instances, or spots they considered as disgusting, abhorrent, or horrific, and which led to contamination fears connected to any actions or ideas they saw as relevant to these obsessions. These sorts of contamination obsessions could final result in concrete contamination problems but far more frequently resulted in summary, magical-wondering fears of specific, very ego-dystonic states of currently being. When the anxiety was a response to a certain particular person or people today, the obsession most typically resulted in avoidance behaviors intended to placate a worry of obtaining a characteristic or trait of the personal by contagion. Sufferers exhibiting these symptom displays are at hazard of getting identified with psychosis.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder is challenging and I have related with a range of people today whose relatives customers (or they on their own) have been misdiagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, schizophrenia, and even Bipolar Condition. These misdiagnoses can have devastating results on the individual with OCD, not only mainly because good cure is delayed, but since therapies applied for other disorders can make OCD worse.

This scenario review is a superior case in point:

Master A, 10-year-old male little one, with uneventful delivery and developmental history without the need of previous and loved ones heritage of neurological and psychiatric disease presented with issues of repetitive spitting, withdrawn to self, absence of fascination in study, continuously closing his ears by arms from final 8 months and refusal to just take foodstuff from final 7 days. He was hospitalized. On physical assessment, all parameters have been inside standard limits except presence of gentle dehydration. Intravenous (IV) fluids have been commenced. On original mental position assessment, the affected individual was unable to specific the cause powering this style of conduct. On repeated evaluation, the patient expressed that he did not want to choose foods as he thinks that any term spoken by him or by close by men and women or any word read by him from any supply ended up penned on his own saliva and he simply cannot swallow the words with foodstuff or saliva. For this reason, he was spitting repetitively, keeping away from interaction with people, averting food. To prevent any audio, he closes his ears by fingers most of the occasions. He expressed that this style of considered was his personal considered and absurd just one. He tries to stay clear of this considered but he was not able to do so. Soon after 6 months of onset of his sickness, he was handled by a psychiatrist as a circumstance of schizophrenia and was prescribed pill aripiprazole 10 mg for each day. Just after 2 months of therapy, rather of any enhancement, his problem deteriorated and he frequented our section. Right after analysis, a analysis of OCD, mixed obsessional believed and functions was made… His CY-BOCS rating dropped to 19 following 8 months of cure and he was discharged from the healthcare facility.

What I locate particularly heartbreaking about scenarios such as this one particular is the truth that atypical antipsychotics (in this situation aripiprazole) have been recognised to exacerbate the signs and symptoms of OCD. How several persons are misdiagnosed and never ever obtain a proper analysis?

Overall health care specialists want to be superior educated about OCD, so at the pretty least, it will be on their “radar screen” when assessing patients. Obsessive-compulsive condition has the prospective to demolish life, but it is also very treatable — when it is effectively diagnosed.

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[psychotherapyconsultants]

Atypical Presentation of OCD in Children

I’ve been an advocate for OCD awareness for over ten years and have not seen much progress in the understanding and diagnosis of obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Estimates vary but still hover around 14-17 years from onset of symptoms to receiving a proper diagnosis and treatment. That’s 14-17 years of untreated OCD which becomes more entrenched and difficult to treat as time goes by. To me, and I’m guessing to most people, this is not acceptable.

In a July 2018 article published in Comprehensive Psychiatry titled “Atypical symptom presentations in children and adolescents with obsessive compulsive disorder,” the authors detail some lesser-known symptoms of OCD that children and adolescents might exhibit. Typically, clinicians who want to rate the severity of obsessive and compulsive symptoms in children and adolescents use the Children’s Yale Brown Obsessive Scale (CY-BOCS) checklist. This checklist contains the most common symptoms presented in youth with OCD and includes obsessions related to contamination, aggression, and magical thinking, to name a few. Compulsions listed include but are not limited to, checking, counting, cleaning, repeating, and ordering. The CY-BOCS can be an extremely helpful tool for clinicians, especially in diagnosing a more “straightforward” case of OCD. Still, many cases of childhood OCD are either undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. Sure, OCD experts know their stuff, but there just aren’t enough of them to go around. Unfortunately, many mental health providers simply do not know a lot about obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Back to the study mentioned above which describes two distinct types of atypical OCD symptoms found in 24 children. Researchers showed how these symptoms are part of a larger clinical picture, not a feature of an alternate condition such as psychosis or autism spectrum disorder. As explained here:

Twelve of the children had obsessions rooted in a primary sensory experience (such as auditory, olfactory, or tactile) that they found intolerable and which was sometimes linked to specific people or objects. To soothe or avoid the associated sensory discomfort, patients were driven to engage in time-consuming repeated behaviors. Many of these patients struggled with ordinary activities such as eating or wearing clothing and can be at risk of seeming to exhibit symptoms of autism spectrum disorder, especially when the patient has a level of self-awareness that leads them to conceal the obsession behind the behaviors.

The other 12 children had obsessions rooted in people, times, or places they viewed as disgusting, abhorrent, or horrific, and which led to contamination fears connected to any actions or thoughts they saw as related to these obsessions. These kinds of contamination obsessions could result in concrete contamination concerns but more often resulted in abstract, magical-thinking fears of specific, highly ego-dystonic states of being. When the fear was a reaction to a particular individual or individuals, the obsession most often resulted in avoidance behaviors designed to placate a fear of acquiring a characteristic or trait of the individual by contagion. Patients exhibiting these symptom presentations are at risk of being diagnosed with psychosis.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder is complicated and I have connected with a number of people whose family members (or they themselves) have been misdiagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, schizophrenia, and even Bipolar Disorder. These misdiagnoses can have devastating effects on the person with OCD, not only because proper treatment is delayed, but because therapies used for other disorders can make OCD worse.

This case study is a good example:

Master A, 10-year-old male child, with uneventful birth and developmental history without past and family history of neurological and psychiatric illness presented with complaints of repetitive spitting, withdrawn to self, lack of interest in study, repeatedly closing his ears by hands from last 8 months and refusal to take food from last 7 days. He was hospitalized. On physical examination, all parameters were within normal limits except presence of mild dehydration. Intravenous (IV) fluids were started. On initial mental status examination, the patient was unable to express the reason behind this type of behaviour. On repeated evaluation, the patient expressed that he did not want to take food as he thinks that any word spoken by him or by nearby people or any word heard by him from any source were written on his own saliva and he cannot swallow the words with food or saliva. For this reason, he was spitting repetitively, avoiding interaction with people, avoiding food. To avoid any sound, he closes his ears by hands most of the times. He expressed that this type of thought was his own thought and absurd one. He tries to avoid this thought but he was unable to do so. After 6 months of onset of his illness, he was treated by a psychiatrist as a case of schizophrenia and was prescribed tablet aripiprazole 10 mg per day. After 2 months of treatment, instead of any improvement, his condition deteriorated and he visited our department. After evaluation, a diagnosis of OCD, mixed obsessional thought and acts was made… His CY-BOCS score dropped to 19 after 8 weeks of treatment and he was discharged from the hospital.

What I find particularly heartbreaking about cases such as this one is the fact that atypical antipsychotics (in this case aripiprazole) have been known to exacerbate the symptoms of OCD. How many people are misdiagnosed and never receive a correct diagnosis?

Health care professionals need to be better educated about OCD, so at the very least, it will be on their “radar screen” when evaluating patients. Obsessive-compulsive disorder has the potential to destroy lives, but it is also very treatable — once it is properly diagnosed.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/atypical-presentation-of-ocd-in-children/

#World of Psychology

[positivepsychologyinterventions]

Atypical Presentation of OCD in Children

I’ve been an advocate for OCD awareness for over ten years and have not seen much progress in the understanding and diagnosis of obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Estimates vary but still hover around 14-17 years from onset of symptoms to receiving a proper diagnosis and treatment. That’s 14-17 years of untreated OCD which becomes more entrenched and difficult to treat as time goes by. To me, and I’m guessing to most people, this is not acceptable.

In a July 2018 article published in Comprehensive Psychiatry titled “Atypical symptom presentations in children and adolescents with obsessive compulsive disorder,” the authors detail some lesser-known symptoms of OCD that children and adolescents might exhibit. Typically, clinicians who want to rate the severity of obsessive and compulsive symptoms in children and adolescents use the Children’s Yale Brown Obsessive Scale (CY-BOCS) checklist. This checklist contains the most common symptoms presented in youth with OCD and includes obsessions related to contamination, aggression, and magical thinking, to name a few. Compulsions listed include but are not limited to, checking, counting, cleaning, repeating, and ordering. The CY-BOCS can be an extremely helpful tool for clinicians, especially in diagnosing a more “straightforward” case of OCD. Still, many cases of childhood OCD are either undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. Sure, OCD experts know their stuff, but there just aren’t enough of them to go around. Unfortunately, many mental health providers simply do not know a lot about obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Back to the study mentioned above which describes two distinct types of atypical OCD symptoms found in 24 children. Researchers showed how these symptoms are part of a larger clinical picture, not a feature of an alternate condition such as psychosis or autism spectrum disorder. As explained here:

Twelve of the children had obsessions rooted in a primary sensory experience (such as auditory, olfactory, or tactile) that they found intolerable and which was sometimes linked to specific people or objects. To soothe or avoid the associated sensory discomfort, patients were driven to engage in time-consuming repeated behaviors. Many of these patients struggled with ordinary activities such as eating or wearing clothing and can be at risk of seeming to exhibit symptoms of autism spectrum disorder, especially when the patient has a level of self-awareness that leads them to conceal the obsession behind the behaviors.

The other 12 children had obsessions rooted in people, times, or places they viewed as disgusting, abhorrent, or horrific, and which led to contamination fears connected to any actions or thoughts they saw as related to these obsessions. These kinds of contamination obsessions could result in concrete contamination concerns but more often resulted in abstract, magical-thinking fears of specific, highly ego-dystonic states of being. When the fear was a reaction to a particular individual or individuals, the obsession most often resulted in avoidance behaviors designed to placate a fear of acquiring a characteristic or trait of the individual by contagion. Patients exhibiting these symptom presentations are at risk of being diagnosed with psychosis.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder is complicated and I have connected with a number of people whose family members (or they themselves) have been misdiagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, schizophrenia, and even Bipolar Disorder. These misdiagnoses can have devastating effects on the person with OCD, not only because proper treatment is delayed, but because therapies used for other disorders can make OCD worse.

This case study is a good example:

Master A, 10-year-old male child, with uneventful birth and developmental history without past and family history of neurological and psychiatric illness presented with complaints of repetitive spitting, withdrawn to self, lack of interest in study, repeatedly closing his ears by hands from last 8 months and refusal to take food from last 7 days. He was hospitalized. On physical examination, all parameters were within normal limits except presence of mild dehydration. Intravenous (IV) fluids were started. On initial mental status examination, the patient was unable to express the reason behind this type of behaviour. On repeated evaluation, the patient expressed that he did not want to take food as he thinks that any word spoken by him or by nearby people or any word heard by him from any source were written on his own saliva and he cannot swallow the words with food or saliva. For this reason, he was spitting repetitively, avoiding interaction with people, avoiding food. To avoid any sound, he closes his ears by hands most of the times. He expressed that this type of thought was his own thought and absurd one. He tries to avoid this thought but he was unable to do so. After 6 months of onset of his illness, he was treated by a psychiatrist as a case of schizophrenia and was prescribed tablet aripiprazole 10 mg per day. After 2 months of treatment, instead of any improvement, his condition deteriorated and he visited our department. After evaluation, a diagnosis of OCD, mixed obsessional thought and acts was made… His CY-BOCS score dropped to 19 after 8 weeks of treatment and he was discharged from the hospital.

What I find particularly heartbreaking about cases such as this one is the fact that atypical antipsychotics (in this case aripiprazole) have been known to exacerbate the symptoms of OCD. How many people are misdiagnosed and never receive a correct diagnosis?

Health care professionals need to be better educated about OCD, so at the very least, it will be on their “radar screen” when evaluating patients. Obsessive-compulsive disorder has the potential to destroy lives, but it is also very treatable — once it is properly diagnosed.

from World of Psychology https://ift.tt/2RbvH9d via IFTTT

#IFTTT #World of Psychology

[onlinecoachdan-blog]

Are You Passionate About Life?

It’s no shock that not many people are very passionate about their lives. I am doing some research on the subject and asked some people their thoughts and here is what they said about it:

At 26, I feel like I should definitely be further in life! Like I should have more accomplishments! In result, I clock in everyday to a Job (For the past 9 years) that I hate! I feel like There are so many things I'm good at, but haven't really figured out which one I can really say that I have a passion for! Idk where to start..... instead of picking something, going back to school and getting a degree for that, Ive waisted literally years of doing nothing!

And I think you're right, you need to go out and work at finding your passion. If it's something that you're not already aware of. Most people never find there passion because they fall in lust and have kids and need to support their family, if you don't have the luxury of changing jobs of not having security. And the reverse is that you follow your passion and then when you're too old you think I wish I would've taken the time to have a family. Life is a very precarious balancing act. If your passion consumes you, you must realize that there will be a sacrifice in your life because to have balance is very difficult to maintain!

Unlike so many of the other individuals that have commented, I am 26 years old and i am still struggling to find what matters. I majored in Economics , i have worked as a teacher and now i am in the hospice industry, kind of crazy. I am extremely eager to fund something i am passionate about. Sometimes i cry bc i find myself very lost in the world.

I'm currently going through this phase understanding myself and figuring out my passion and not caring what others think. It has been a battle and I can't seem to figure out my passion. At this very moment I know that I enjoy being part of fashion, makeup, acting and celebrities, but I just don't how to find where I belong and how to go about it. I hoping that maybe you can create a video more depth about it.

I know what I want to do. But every day if I have a free time I end up procrastinating and just play video games. Although I set 2 hours every day doing what I really want. Is it passion? Cause if its passion, I really should've been doing it and not just setting 2 hours every day, instead I should dedicate my whole free time. So it passion? or Is it lack of self discipline?

I have been feeling without passion, without feeling and have become frustrated. I am a college student and a millennial in the heart of our generation entering adulthood. I have experienced a lot of adverse events throughout my short life - and I feel like I am very close to success but I really love the concept of finding my "authentic self”.

Is it possible that you feel you know your passion but by a sudden decision you make you change your way so you feel lost in that situation? I mean what is passion really?is it what you wanna be or is it just way of planning all you have to go on a way to reach your passion?can you change job by reasoning yourself but not really noticing how its really serving your passion and then never reach your passion?...I'm lost I’ve stopped working thinking that iv once known how I'm gonna do what I'm meant to do but i feel like I'm stuck in a situation that i don't know how to handle...should i give up on my situation? And forget my reasons for a scheduled way to get to my passion?

The problem in doing your passion is that some times you will need to survive in order to even start doing it. Surviving in this world means to be dependent on yourself by yourself and that is by getting a job "At least" so you can live as a normal person in your society. So basically it is hard and I think it is very very rare for someone to start his passion from his early age and continue in that path until it will be a life career.

It never comes that quick, most important is to be highly aware of your identity, have the state to be comfortable only on your own without any need for external stimulation that will make you temporarily happy, let the past go, do not worry about trying new things, jobs and places which helps you to come up with new ideas feeding your future passion.

I'm in art school for illustration and I have to find out what kind of illustration I want to do. I love what I've been doing I tried out classes from different tracks. I like them all, and I did good with all of them. But I still can't decide. I know it's not good if I try to do everything at the same time. And now I'm starting to lose energy in things I'm doing since my goal isn't as clear as what I had before anymore.

I’ve literally done all these things and still don’t know. I’ve been to 21 countries, I read 5 books a month, I’ve had 6 different jobs, I have a college degree and I’m almost 30 and not closer to knowing.

Well, I would argue that if you are not willing to work for your passion, then it is not really a true passion... A passion by definition is something that you feel compelled to do and you obsessively and compulsively do it and you enjoy it.

I´m confused with my passion. I still haven´t found that one passion I want to devote my whole life to... Well, to be honest, many times I thought I found it but when I look back I see how wrong I was at that time... I went through many very different stages... I wanted to be a biologist, pharmacist... than I studied psychology for one year... Than I was working on my own line of hand made notebooks... Than I found out that four of my five biggest strengths are learning and thinking associated... So I got into studying psychology and personal development on my own... But every time I realized after a while that it is not something I want to do for the rest of my life... Now I really got into fitness, nutrition and wellbeing so an idea of a lifestyle-ćhange-coach came to my mind... But after all the experience with not clicking with what I really thought I want to do I´m a little discouraged to make the first steps... Does anybody have any suggestions about this?

The "follow you passion" advice, is based on these premises: 1. Passion is consequent. 2. Passion is going to make you successful/Passion is more important than success. 3. Passion is an autonomous thing that you can "find" and "follow". 4. Passion is going to make it all easy. 5. Passion is not created, but found. 6. Everyone has a passion. 7. Passion is going to replace discipline, because of the sheer amount of motivation. 8. The Passion Advice is not something successful people use in a speech to cover up the real factors for their success(hard work and talent), because they are humble.

I'm really in a bit of an issue.

I'm 18, last year of school before college and we are going over career/courses etc.

I was told to sit one online, but I got my mother to oversee my answers to ensure I wasn't fooling myself or subliminally directing myself.

Strange thing is any question regarding being a musician, playing in a band, and/or writing songs she 'strongly agreed' with.

I've never said I want a career in music, I play guitar and sing/write songs. I've also mentioned how I'd like to join a band in college but she sees me as a musician.

A lot of people do apparently, I'm shy, short, quiet but aggressive when pressed with something I'm not comfortable in/with.

I've never played on stage yet she gets the impression a career in music is where I should go. That music is my passion and therefore my ideal career.

Resources

http://coachinginst.com/life

https://www.inc.com/magazine/20060401/coach.html

https://www.quora.com/What-are-people-passionate-about-in-life

http://jackcanfield.com/blog/finding-life-purpose/

https://work.chron.com/define-passion-life-10132.html

http://coachinginst.com/find

#life coach #motivations #goals #personal development #self improvement #psychology #health #coaching

[themoneybuff-blog]

The forever fallacy

Last week, Ben Carlson from A Wealth of Common Sense published an interesting article about how staying rich is harder than getting rich. He writes: Research shows over 50% of Americans will find themselves in the top 10% of earners for at least one year of their lives. More than 11% will find themselves in the top 1% of income-earners at some point. And close to 99% of those who make it into the top 1% of earners will find themselves on the outside looking in within a decade. Its great that so many people get to taste what its like to earn a lot of money, if only for a little while. Whats not so great is that as most people earn more, they spend more. But if you spend all (or most) of what you earn as youre surfing an income bubble, you can find yourself in trouble when that bubble bursts. Carlson quotes a story about a couple that lived a lavish lifestyle because they were making a lot of money. When the income dried up, they realized they had nothing left. They were broke. Says the husband: The money was just coming so fast and so easy that my ego led me to believe that, Oh, this is my life forever.' Ive been thinking about that last line for a week now: This is my life forever. This couple fell for a common (but seldom examined) mental trap: the forever fallacy. The forever fallacy is the mistaken belief that you will always have what you have today, that youll always be who you are today. The Forever Fallacy Its easiest to see the forever fallacy at play in extreme cases. Take professional athletes, for instance. In a 2009 Sports Illustrated article about how and why athletes go broke, Pablo S. Torre wrote that after two years of retirement, 78% of former NFL players have gone bankrupt or are under financial stress. Within five years of retirement, roughly 60% of former NBA players are in similar positions. Fundamentally, the problem here is the forever fallacy. Athletes (and popular entertainers) tend to enjoy a few years during which they earn great gobs of money. The challenge is to figure out how to make five years of income last for fifty years. This never occurs to most of them. As the money is rolling in, it feels like the money will always be rolling in. When the income stops, the pain begins. [A pro athlete] cant live like a king forever, says Bart Scott in ESPNs Broke, a documentary about pro athletes and their money problems. But you can live like a prince forever. [embedded content] The forever fallacy doesnt just trap athletes and entertainers and lottery winners. It snares average folks like you and me too. Im sure weve all had friends who found themselves flush, whether from a windfall or from a raise at work. They succumb to lifestyle inflation, spending more as they earn more. They buy a bigger house, a new car, a boat. Then, without warning, something awful occurs and theyre no longer rolling in dough. It felt like the good times would last forever but they didnt. The forever fallacy manifests itself in lots of little ways too. When you choose not to keep an emergency fund because youve never needed one in the past, youre succumbing to the forever fallacy.When you take out a large mortgage, one that pushes the limits of your earning power, youre giving in to the forever fallacy.When you fund your lifestyle through debt, youre living in the forever fallacy. The forever fallacy doesnt apply only to positive expectations. People also give in to the forever fallacy with negative expectations. Theyre trapped in a minimum wage job and project that theyll always be working minimum wage. Theyre in a shitty marriage and let themselves believe that theyll always be trapped in a shitty marriage. And so on. The key thing to understand is that everything changes. You change. Your circumstances change. The people around you change. Nothing is forever. The challenge then is to balance this concept everything changes with living in the present. You must learn to enjoy today while simultaneously preparing for possible tomorrows. Negative Visualization One way to protect yourself from the forever fallacy is to play what if? games. In A Guide to the Good Life by William Irvine, the author advocates a psychological exercise he calls negative visualization. Learn to ask yourself, Whats the worst that could happen? The Stoicsrecommended that we spend time imagining that we have lost the things we value that our wife has left us, our car was stolen, or we lost our job. Doing this, the Stoics thought, will make us value our wife, our car, and our job more than we otherwise would. Sounds a little gloomy, right? Irvine says thats not the case. Youre not meant to dwell on these things, but to occasionally ponder them as a thought exercise. In my own life, I used to imagine what it would be like if I lost my job. I could always go to work at McDonalds, I thought. And I grew up in a run-down trailer house. Worst case, I could always live in something like that again. This line of thinking drove my ex-wife crazy but gave me comfort. I knew that if disaster struck, Id be fine flipping burgers and living in a trailer park. Ive done it before and can do it again. Nowadays I challenge myself by thinking about what might happen if the stock market crashed or our house burned down. What would I do if I lost everything? Where would I go? How would I earn money? The Stoics took this exercise even further. Seneca the Younger encouraged followers to live as if each moment were their last. But thats not to say that he wanted people to descend into debauchery. Heres how Irvine explains it: Living as if each day were our last is simply an extension of the negative visualization technique: As we go about our day, we should periodically pause to reflect on the fact that we will not live forever and therefor that this day could be our last. Such reflection, rather than converting us into hedonists, will make us appreciate how wonderful it is that we are alive and have the opportunity to fill this day with activity. This in turn will make it less likely that we will squander our days. Negative visualization is useful because it forces you to look beyond the here and now, to imagine other possible realities. It encourages you to consider that the future might not be a linear projection of the present. I think it can also help nudge a person to think about whats truly important in their life. Too many people squander their days and their dollars. They spend their time and money on things that dont matter, not even a little. When you die, will you be glad you watched every episode of Game of Thrones? Or will you regret not having used that time for something better aligned with your passion and purpose? Be Prepared

Perhaps the best way to protect yourself from the forever fallacy is to become proactive. Like a Boy Scout or a Girl Guide, be prepared to do the right thing at the right moment. In the realm of personal finance, there are plenty of things you can do to be prepared. Get out of debt and stay out of debt. As somebody who was deep in debt for almost twenty years, I now see that carrying debt is a classic expression of the forever fallacy. Its blind faith that youll be able to repay what you owe in the future.Maintain an emergency fund to handle unexpected problems such as car accidents and broken bones.Start an opportunity fund so that you can take advantage of the unexpected good things that come along, such as a chance to travel with friends or a great deal on a used pickup truck.Carry adequate insurance to protect yourself from catastrophic loss like earthquake, heart attack, or giant fire-breathing monsters from the sea.Boost your saving rate, the gap between what you earn and what you spend. This has a two-fold effect. A high saving rate helps you set aside more for the future, but it also makes you more resistent to the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune today.Build social capital by creating a web of friends, family, and colleagues that you trust and support and who trust and support you. The truth is youre never going to beat the forever fallacy and neither am I. Not completely, anyhow. Its simply human nature to extrapolate our present and past into the future. The best we can do is mitigate the trouble caused by this tendency. Be Like Bond Recently, Ive been reading the original James Bond novels by Ian Fleming. I like the books because the literary Bond is more realistic than the cinematic Bond; hes less of a superhero and more of an everyday person (who happens to be a secret agent). He eats too much, drinks too much, and can be a bit lazy at times. Where Bond excels, however, is preparation. Hes always thinking a move or two ahead of his foes. He tries to anticipate what might go wrong so that he can take steps to prevent trouble. This doesnt mean that he always evades trouble thered be no drama if he did but his dedication to preparation helps him avoid some scrapes while also allowing him to sometimes survive certain death. Bond does not suffer from the forever fallacy, neither in the short term nor the long. (He often wonders if hes near the end of his career, too old to continue working as a spy.) Wed all have greater success in life if we were more like James Bond, if we took precautions, if we didnt give in to the forever fallacy. Accept the inevitability of change. Prepare for an uncertain future. Plan the best but be ready for the worst. Dont obsess over what might go wrong, but be aware of potential problems and plan for what youll do in a worst-case scenario. https://www.getrichslowly.org/forever-fallacy/