#but if he were real I'd call for an exterminator

[envy-of-the-apple]

Omg hi are your requests still open??? No pressure!

Unfortunately I am here as a Mahito simp and your twoshot of him has me in a chokehold. I’ve re-read that an ungodly amount of times now. That said, I can’t get the thought out of my head of Mahito noncon-ing a reader he likes who can’t see him, who is eventually able to see him in the midst of the act. Aaaaaa

sfjklsdkljsdkfjsdklfjsdlksj oh my god bestie you absolute genius hold on- alsosorrythistooksolong

(Dark!Mahito x reader)

Bed Bugs

(Yandere, dark content, implied somno, noncon, dubcon, choking-but veryvery brief)

You've been waking up sore lately.

Maybe you aren't sleeping, right? Maybe it's your bed. It might not be expensive, but you bought it solely for comfort.

The pain comes from your thighs. Aching. Numb. And if you looked closely, you swore you could see bites-

Bed bugs. That had to be it.

"I hate those fuckers," your friend groans, "I got a couple bites when I was staying in that cheap motel back in California? Lasted for a week."

"I was looking at exterminators. Everything's so expensive these days," you mutter, swirling your latte, "I don't even know how I got them. Ridiculous."

She hums. The cafe was quiet during this time, not too many customers. The two of you were tucked away in a booth, still nursing the expensive coffee. You'd already heard her rant about the inflation.

"Y'know, my friend's older brother has some kinda' homerun pest control gig. I can ask him about it. Maybe he can give you a discount? I'm pretty sure he specializes in termites but I don't think there's a real difference."

You eye her. "Yeah, no. Termites aren't in any way close to bed bugs. Besides, don't they use acid for termites? I'd still like to sleep on a bed that doesn't give me skin problems."

"See? I'm giving you solutions, and you keep rejecting them," your friend sighs, "I give up. I think you just got roommates now."

You laugh, about to respond, when you feel something dangerously close to your inner thigh. You glance down. Nothing.

"Uh, speaking of roommates, what did you say was happening with yours?" You change the subject, shifting in the booth.

"Oh yeah! Her and Dan are getting pretty serious, I think she's gonna move out soon."

"Oh really?" The touch came back. Harder. More insistent. You gasp when something grabs you by the hips, squeezing.

Your friend gives you a look. "You okay?"

You look around again. Nothing. Again.

"Um, yes! I am." You managed to respond, "Sorry, sorry, just....long day."

You clear your throat, plastering on a smile as you listen to her prattle about the drama in her life. Her voice distracts you from your thoughts swirling in your mind. Each getting more ridiculous than the last. 

You swore it felt like a...hand.

Work kicked your ass today. 

You'd never been so tired, practically falling asleep on the train. Crowded as always. You scrunched your nose as yet another person conveniently forgot to wear deodorant that day. Wonderful. 

At least, the day was over. You could resign to being as unproductive as possible for the rest of your night. 

You scroll through the forum. Almost everyone said that bed bugs- Cimex lectularius because now you've researched them so much you know their scientific name- are a losing battle. The final verdict is to get rid of your mattress immediately. Either that, or you'd need to call a specialized exterminator that cost at least twice the price of your current mattress. You didn't know which was the worst deal. 

You ignore the first few touches. Trains. Crowded area. People who don't understand boundaries. It's the swipe on your ass that makes you turn around and glare at the likely culprit. A sleazy-looking man in his late-forties. He barely even reacts, just arching a brow at your look. 

Typical. You inch away from him, squeezing past the other bodies until you're well past the other side. You lean against the window, blocking yourself from any other unwanted touches. Finally. Some peace. 

Until it started back up again. 

Something solid presses against you. Like-like a wall. Insistent, begging to be noticed. You're forced back, squished against the already small space. It wasn't your imagination. You can't delude yourself. It was real. A real hand was pressing against your pants, right above your clothed pussy. 

But there was no one there. 

What the fuck. 

The rhythm is rough, forceful as the hand starts grinding on your clit, sending tingles up your spine. You let out a confused whine, slapping a hand over your mouth as you squirm fruitlessly against whatever the fuck this thing was. You can't stop it. It's too much. Too sudden. You want it to stop but it takes you higher and higher and higher and-

It's gone just when the train rolls to a stop. All at once, the opposing wall disappears. You stumble out of the doors, legs shaking, panting. 

There's a whisper of a laugh right by your ear. You realize you're very wet.

What. The. Fuck. 

You could have deluded yourself into thinking it was a hallucination. That you were so tired from work you had an orgasm untouched. It sounded ridiculous, but it was plausible, right? Stranger things have happened. 

But, it just kept happening. 

The touches range. Sometimes, it's just a brush against your shoulder. A poke on your cheek. Other times it's more insistent. You can still remember the sharp spank on your ass in your very much-alone apartment. 

You were starting to think you might not be so alone, anymore. 

The worst was when you were out in public. It always happened in public. You'd be at work, typing on your computer when you'd feel a sensation on your pussy, grinding on you until you're close to cumming. When you'd break away to hide away in the bathroom, you'd always find your panties soaked.

Sometimes, you find yourself typing something ridiculous on your computer. Are ghosts real? Can apparitions touch the living? 

In one of these rabbit holes, you stumble across the word Spectrophillia. Forums of tons and tons of people sharing their own experiences that are eerily similar to yours. A woman describes her encounter with her own aspiration, saying that the thing had physical teeth, a physical tongue, a physical- 

You stop reading after that. A horny ghost. Is that seriously what you were dealing with? You weren't raised religiously, so the idea wasn't very appealing. 

Luckily, your doctor was a woman of science. 

"The symptoms you're describing are a very common indication of stress." She types away on her computer. 

You eye her, both in relief and incredulous. "Really?" 

"Of course," she says, "Trust me, people have come up with crazier stories. Now." She turns back to you, clicking her pen before writing a couple things down on her clipboard.

"I'll prescribe you diazepam. Take one two hours after you've eaten before night." She instructs. "Come back if you feel anything out of the norm." 

You nod, still a bit dazed by her answer. Stress, that's seriously all that this was? 

But it worked, oddly enough. The first night back from the clinic, you stopped feeling those pseudo touches. Your insomnia started going away. You started getting a proper sleep cycle. For the first time in weeks, things were starting to work in your favor.

And then you wake up to the sounds of your bed moving. 

Creaking. Back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. 

Also, you feel...good. Really really good. Tingles shoot up your spine. A pleased sigh unconsciously escapes from your lips as the pleasure between your thighs grows. You're still incoherent, hips following the feeling. Hands are wrapped around your wrists, pressing them against the mattress. There's a puff of air against your ear. Tongue and teeth that nip against your throat. 

It feels like a wet dream, you think. Blearily, you open your eyes, fully prepared to see some Hollywood actor, your crush from work, a cute stranger. 

You see nothing but the ceiling. But the pressure only increases. 

Immediately, all sleep is gone. You wiggle and squirm under the sudden weight. Weight that shouldn't be possible, considering there's nothing there. Your scream is blocked by a hand clamping itself over your windpipe, squeezing. 

The panic is immediate. You're writhing, doing whatever you can to get air into your lungs. It's not working. You can't move your hands. You can't move your legs. You're dying you're dying you're-

"Can you see me now?" 

You can see him. 

You were expecting something a bit less inhuman. Apart from the stitches that litter his face, he looks familiar, in terms of shape that is. Two human eyes. A human head. Human lips that are curved into a grin. Human skin. 

He looks so normal. And that makes whatever is happening even more scary. 

He releases your throat, and you're sucking in mouthfuls of air, regulating your breathing. He hums in clear delight, leaning away so he straddles you. He tuts when you start crying, sobs wracking your shivering body. 

"Is that all you can do?" He clicks his tongue like he's disappointed in you. 

"Get off," you wheeze, wiggling away, "Get-get off." 

"Why? You were enjoying it a couple of minutes ago." It? You glance down at the mess of bedsheets, where he's still inside you, lazily grinding his cock back into your wet hole. 

Nothing about this makes sense. What was he doing-How can he be-How is he even real when you couldn't see him before? You can't think; your mind is still drowsy on fatigue and the medication. Fuck the medication? Is that why you can barely even struggle?

"What a-are you?" You manage to slur out, words slipping around your tongue like butter. 

He laughs like you just said the world's funniest joke. It only makes your stomach drop. You've never heard a sound so evil before. 

"That's kinda' rude. Your parents never taught you manners?" He drawls, "Mahito, that's my name! I know yours!" You hate the way he says your name with so much perversion. He's ruining the innocence, just like how he's ruining you. 

You open your mouth, intent on screaming, but at that exact moment, his cock slams back inside you. You give out a stuttered moan instead. 

"See? Told you: you like it." Mahito gloats and your mind swirls in and out of focus again. You're barely coherent, moaning and huffing underneath him. You feel disgusted at yourself. For being so okay with this. But-but you can't move. You can barely breathe. 

And, you note with reluctance, he's been doing this for a while. You're practically mid-way through your build-up, so close to an orgasm that you don't want. Given by a fucking monster. 

"Have you-have you been-" 

"Yeah, it's been me, for a while now," he answers without much cadence, "You were so close with the ghost theory. It was kinda cute watching you get so desperate. Finding whatever you could to check out of reality."

Oh. You get it. This was all a game for him. How long has he been doing this to you? Making you stumble around, drowning in your own paranoia. How long has this thing been watching you? Touching you. Fucking you.

"You, on the other hand, are on a whole other level with your delusion." He grins, showing teeth. "Fuck, seriously, did you think you were hallucinating me fingering you? At that point, I have to admire your creativity." 

You can barely focus on his words, not when his cock was digging you out. You were so close, practically on the precipice. He gives one more snap of his hips, and you're gone, pussy clenching around his dick, back arching.

The orgasm feels like it lasts for hours because he refuses to stop moving. He finally grants you mercy by spilling his cum deep inside you, forcing you to milk his cock as he lazily rolls his hips, forcing your oversensitive body to jolt. 

You catch your breath when the world stops spinning. When it grows quiet, you can only hear your own panting. Another wave of tears threatens to spill. 

"Aw, cheer up," Mahito purrs, "At least it wasn't bed bugs, right?" 

#dark content #x reader #yandere #tw:noncon #mahito x reader #dark mahito #dark jjk #yandere jjk #tw:somno #tw: somnophilia #tw: choking

[bloodreddemons]

Hazbin Hotel Episode 7-8 (Finale) Hot Takes ~

I personally loved a lot of the Charlastor content in the beginning. So cute.

The deal Alastor purposed to Charlie was also very predictable. We already knew they were going to eventually make a deal but that deal in particular was just very predictable.

I think everyone knows this already but that "one little favor" that Alastor is going to ask of her is going to bite her in the ass. We don't know what he's going to ask but it's definitely gonna come back to haunt her.

She may even make a deal with him again possibly in the future, who knows.

I'm surprised Vaggie didn't know Angel's could be harmed or killed. Its weird that she also didn't know how to fight against one.

Rosie is a real gem and a wayyyyy better friend than Mimzy fucking is.

I love Carmilla & Vaggie's dynamic. I think they both are very much the same personality wise. I definitely can see Carmilla as a mother figure to her or at least a teacher to her, which she pretty much is.

To follow up, I loved Carmilla training Vaggie and helping her get her wings back. Out For Love was also really really good. I liked it a lot.

Never thought I'd hear Alastor call someone an old bitch but it was everything.

I knew Charlie was gonna forgive Vaggie regardless of anything but I love Auntie Rosie.

I didn't really like "Ready For This". I wish I did like it. Especially since it had Charlie, Alastor, & Rosie in it. Idk I liked Out For Love more.

Vox's commentary was funny asf but he's also such a hater. Not even a low-key one lmao.

The post-fight celebration and speech was actually very sweet. Although I wish there was more time and episodes that we could have seen more of the characters bond. I also wish there were more opportunities where we got to know them better.

I really thought Angel & Husk were gonna fuck this episode.

I wasn't expecting for Sir Pentious to say "I love you" to Cherri Bomb so soon and I also didn't need to know he had 2 dicks.

"More Than Anything" Chaggie version was pretty sweet. It'd be cool if there was a longer version idk if there is. They also kissed which was nice.

Adam & Lute are funny asf. Especially Adam. They may be horrible people but I just can't get over how funny they are. Even when they're about to massacre Charlie's people. Lol.

I wasn't expecting the war to be kinda epic. The shield that Alastor put up over the hotel kinda reminded me of the last Harry Potter. When they all put a shield around Hogwart's to protect everyone from the death eaters and voldemort.

Adam might just be the funniest character in this series dead or alive. Heaven or Hell.

It pisses me off how Charlie barely does anything in the fight. Like, this is her people and her fucking hotel as she keeps saying... yet everybody else but her is fighting. Wtf? Girl yo ass should be in Sloth.

I love Alastor & Adam's dynamic, their first impression of eachother is so hilarious. The fight between them was also very entertaining. I was really curious to see who would win.

I was actually kinda surprised that Alastor was defeated so easily. I honestly thought he was stronger than that, but tbh Adam is very powerful he's the fucking first man, extermination commander, and he already single handedly broke Alastor's shield.

People have pointed out Alastor's "normal" voice when his mic/staff breaks, because it's his voice without the radio filter. Imma be honest I wasn't that shocked at all, he just sounds the same to me, the radio filter just adds a cool effect.

Charlie really could have got tf up there and helped Alastor out. Idk if she thought he could handle himself or what but fuck.

SIR PENTIOUS KISSING CHERRI WAS AMAZING. WE WON. But then he "died"...

To follow up that sacrifice was anticlimactic at the same time. Mostly because of the way Adam just effortlessly zapped him out of existence.

I'm so disappointed in the "Charlie finally snaps" bit. I was literally dying to see this part in the series, where Charlie finally loses her shit and stands up for herself or whatevever....but it ended up being extremely disappointing and yet again, anticlimactic.

Charlie's transformation along with Razzle & Dazzle was kindaaa cool, however...her getting her ass kicked within like 0.3 fucking seconds was not. It was embarrassing for a demon of her status. I can understand Alastor, but seriously Charlie? You can't beat him? The clownery.

I loved the Vaggie & Lute fight. Let my girl Vaggie finally get her ones. Lute needs her ass beat disrespectfully for what she did.

Although...Lute was winning that fight, she was still holding her own and getting more hits in. I don't even think Carmilla's teaching's were working. Lmao damn. That bitch is fucking scrappy.

Vaggie should have just ended Lute. I know she's too good for that, but she really should have just killed that bitch. She left you for dead you should have just killed her.

Charlie stabbing Adam and standing her ground was badass, but that was kinda it. She still ends up almost getting choked out. Lame.

Charlie just isn't that powerful. 😒 Or at least as she's supposed to be. Maybe it's still not really shown to us, but so far she just isn't that threatening at all. Very disappointing.

Lucifer coming in kinda pissed me off. I wish Charlie could have actually handled everything herself without her dad having to come in and help her. I just feel like it'd be more impactful for her and her character.

Adam x Lucifer actually does seem kinda hot....just me???

Their fight was very entertaining despite already knowing who would come out on top. Hehe.

"All of Mankind came from these fucking nutts" is pure poetry.

Nifty is a menace and I have been saying it since the very beginning. If anyone should be running shit it should be her. Alastor is so feared but it should be herrrr.

I didn't like "The Show Must Go On" as a song but it was sweet in the sense that it was about Charlie and her found family helping her rebuild her hotel and still have the determination to keep going. Also it helps lead off into Season 2.

I'm fucking itching to know what deal is bothering Alastor and who he made it with. It's becoming more likely that it's with Lilith & that's who owns him.

I think it's obvious the deal possibly involve's Alastor to watch over or protect Charlie. Alastor is becoming bothered by having to do this because he literally almost fucking died.

I'm really worried about what Alastor is going to do when he's finally free and under no restraints from who controls him. I know Viv said Alastor isn't an antagonist but she could've just been keeping it a secret.

Alastor really might be a secret antagonist. He'll just be that surprise villain in the end that kinda comes out of nowhere but you still knew it was coming. I wouldn't trust him especially with what he said. Him pulling the strings can't be good.

I can't believe Sir Pentious got redeemed before Angel Dust, but still good for him! I'm so happy he got redeemed he truly is good and deserves it.

I was pissed asf when I saw Lilith in Heaven. Your daughter has been in HELL fucking struggling, while you've been sitting comfy up in heaven, the same place that is fucking YOUR people up!!! Helloooo??

My theory is that Lilith is Eve in disguise. I wholeheartedly believe that because something just feels off?? Y'all feel that too??? Lilith making a deal with Adam? Chilling up in Heaven? NAH MAN.

I also think it could be Eve who owns Alastor and that he knows of her being disguised as Eve, and is in Heaven. Like he's kinda in on it, but more so by force.

#hazbin hotel #vivienne medrano #vivziepop #hazbin alastor #hazbin charlie #alastor #hazbin vaggie #charlastor #angel dust #chaggie #husker hazbin hotel #husk x angel dust #hazbin angel dust #sir pentious #sir pentious hazbin hotel #angel dust hazbin hotel #nifty hazbin hotel #nifty #charlie x vaggie #vaggie x charlie #vaggie #charlie morningstar

[the-sinister-story-teller]

Healing.

Mentions: Angst, fluff, male reader.

Topic: You find Angel crying in his room, and decide to comfort him.

A/n: I LOVE writing Angel. He's so sweet and wholesome to do with certain topics, I love it. This is a oneshot and not an actual fanfiction TuT.

You sighed. It had been a long day of work, trying to dismiss all the trouble going on with redemption. It was past the whole extermination, and the hotel had been fully rebuilt and renovation. During it all, you had confessed to Angel in case something bad happened to you. So, now, you two are an official couple. It took the rest of the hotel by surprise, but you didn't care. You both were more than happy in your relationship with how it was, and you didn't want it any other way. You walked by your room, peeking in with a smile.

"Angie! Babe guess who's back!" You called out but stopped, realizing the demon wasn't there. "huh...he's in his room probably." You shrugged, knocking on his room door, hearing hiccups and a weak 'what'. In a panic, you swung the door open, watching angel shoot up from his bed, fat nuggets in arms.

"Sh-Shit! Y/n what are you-" He exclaimed. You rushed to him, wiping his tears sweetly and peppering his face in kisses.

"Angie-! What happened!? Are you ok?" You asked, shaken up as Angel relaxed in your arms, resting his head against your chest.

"Just...Had a real bad dream 's all.." Angel murmured, before continuing, "You won't ever leave me...Right?" He asked and you winced at the question.

"Is that what the bad dream was..?" You asked, and Angel teared up, as you smiled, kissing him softly, before gently pulling away, cupping his cheeks. "Angie, why would I leave you..? Your the best thing that's happened to me in this shit hole! I wouldn't trade you for the world." You comforted, making him giggle as he hugged him and Nuggets close. "You two...are my fucking world Anthony...I wouldn't ever leave you.." You muttered and Angel sighed softly.

"I love you too babycakes...Guess I was just shaken up is all..." Angel muttered as you nodded before nudging him with a smirk.

"Now c'mon! I got you stuff!" You teased as Angel raised a brow in confusion. You laughed at this, "It's a surpriiiise!" Almost instantly Angel got out of bed, wiping his face of tears.

"Then what th' hell are we doin'!? Let's go babycakes!!" He exclaimed, grabbing your wrist, still holding fat nuggets, dragging you out. A bit through the hallway, Angel stopped and turned to you. "About what you said earlier...About how you wouldn't trade me for the world? Well...I'd move heaven 'n hell for you babe." Angel said and you smiled sweetly, as you approached him, kissing him sweetly. It was passionate yet loving, and you both gently pulled away.

"I love you Y/n."

"I love you more Anthony."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/n: I LOVED WRITING THIS IT WAS SO WHOLESOME AHHH

#angel dust fluff #hazbin angel dust #angel dust x reader #male reader #oneshot #hazbin oneshot #angel dust oneshot

[roy-dcm2]

FF8 Theory - The True Origin of Sorceresses

In the background of Final Fantasy 8, they tell the origin of the Sorceresses and it's rooted in the story of a being known as the Great Hyne. Here's what we first hear in Balamb:

That's the basic story in the beginning. We more details later in the game in the White SeeD ship. Let me summarize:

Th Legend of Vascaroon says Hyne was the ruler of the world that created Humans. Like before, Hyne surrendered half his body, then there was a war for control of that half. Vascaroon was the one that pointed out - what was left behind was Hyne's skin. (Maybe not his entire half-body.)

The ultimania books have one final version of the story called -

Aru Hi no Garden no Jugyō Fūkei

The story says Hyne created the world, created Humans to work for him because he were tired. While Hyne was asleep, Humans ran the world on their own. When he awoke, Hyne was startled by their numbers, so he tried exterminating their young, and the humans started to turn against him.

Hyne bargains for the end of the war by willingly giving up half his body, and telling the early humans they would have half his powers. There was another war, and then Vascaroon, who was a sage, says the "half" of Hyne's body is just his cast off skin. This is how the persecution of Magic Users / Sorceresses began.

When you read all three stories, it becomes clear that these are ancient tales that have become distorted over time. The real details have been lost. Maybe it was all bullshit made up to persecute women.

However, I ask you now to look at Ultimecia's Final Form:

That looks like half a magical parasite growing out of Ultimecia's normal body. And it looks like it's missing part of it's skin, don't you think?

So, Hyne was probably real. And, that begs the question, who or what is Hyne, really?

Final Fantasy takes place in a Multiverse, and across the various games, we have seen strange entities similar to how Hyne was described.

The fact that it was so old and wants to kill humans for overpopulating and altering the world, did make me think that Hyne could be a Weapon. But, Weapons seldom show true sentience and the ability to scheme, so it is highly unlikely Hyne was a Weapon.

In between the alternate dimensions of the Final Fantasy Multiverse there is The Void where strange and powerful entities live. And they love to consume everything and leave everything in darkness. But, they're not known to scheme or bargain like Hyne did. So, it's a possibility, but a tad unlikely.

Not unless the whole beginning part of the myth is false. Like Hyne wasn't the creator of humans. Maybe it was an entity like Cloud of Darkness, it awoke, humans fought and won, then fought over its body, thinking it would give them powers.

But, then, why would Hyne exist as a parasite in sorceresses? Like we see in Ultimecia?

Let's talk about Jenova. "The Crisis from the Sky" is an alien lifeform that arrived in the ancient times of FF7. It is fairly powerful, but not all powerful. It was known to shapeshift, but Jenova also has the ability to survive being cut to pieces. Exposure to Jenova's cell's (or a virus) causes people to transform into monsters.

And we see a few other sorceresses in FF8, that are steadily becoming more monstrous:

Yes. I'd have to speculate that Jenova is the closest thing to Hyne. The might have been the same species, or something similar. Hyne probably arrived from outer space in the ancient times. It might have been injured or just asleep when it first arrived.

When it awoke, it started killing people. This drove the humans to corner it and kill it. Then they fought over the remains of the body, thinking it would give them magical powers. the carcass had no powers, but later women started to manifest magic and turning into monsters and that's what started the persecution of the Sorceresses.

Sorceresses in FF8 have to pass on their powers to another sorceress before they pass on. This is what passes the Hyne parasite on to the next person, and is somewhat similar to Jenova's Reunion ability.

What we see manifesting in Ultimecia is Hyne's true final form. It's been gestating inside of Ultimecia for a long time, finally growing powerful enough to absorb all of existence, and yet it still bears the scars from the original war.

At least that's my interpretation.

Feel free to like, share, or comment

#roy-dcm2 #final fantasy 8 #final fantasy 7 #Ultimecia #FF Theory #Cloud of Darkness #Squall Leonhart #rinoa heartilly #final fantasy #Jenova #Weapon #FF8 #FF7 #edea kramer #sorceress edea #ultima weapon #reunion #headcanon #final fantasy 9 #final fantasy 3 #Necron #FF9 Necron #The Void #final fantasy VIII #Sorceress Adel

[mellohirust]

In the dark timeline, what do you think would happen if Neil Gaiman wrote it so Aziraphale and Crowley didn’t reunite and reconcile in S3? 👀

In the infinite sunshine timeline, how would everyone react if S3 was just South Downs fluff?

Finally, what’s a plot twist nobody would see coming?

OK OK putting my good omens thoughts under the cut because we're gonna be here a while. strap in.

-Dark timeline where they don't reunite and reconcile is admittedly VERY hard to envision. They've always relied on each other in some capacity whether they like it or not (literally their FIRST INTERACTION before the beginning is Crowley needing Aziraphale's help). I'd imagine Aziraphale would have a LOT to sort out on his own, and it would not be easy at all for him, if even possible given the circumstances. He'd have the whole Second Coming to handle (and also hope he can somehow thwart), all while Heaven is likely watching like a HAWK, all while he wouldn't want to be doing any of it at all. For the first time in thousands of years he'd be truly alone, and I doubt he'd have a plan that would feel reliable. It would be awful. There's only so much a single angel can do. The Book of Life is also a very real threat. Falling is also something he's still worried about. He'd have to get VERY lucky. I doubt he could just sway the Metatron into a different opinion (although I'm sure he'll try). I think he's pretty fucked unless God were to intervene and look out for him.

Not that he'd be satisfied in the end, even if the world was saved and everything was fine. He'd never forgive himself if he didn't reconcile with Crowley by the end of things, I'd imagine.

I also think Crowley would never shake the feeling of something being wrong, even if Aziraphale doesn't reach out to him for help (which... come on. He will. Where else could he go?). He always expected a "big one", he just doesn't know when or where it'll happen, but obviously Heaven would need Aziraphale for SOMETHING. They wanted to erase Gabriel's memories because he refused to do Armageddon 2.0! Do you really think that's gonna stop them? That they won't just try again? Their whole deal is that they're insistent on this. They won't let up. That's not gonna change no matter who's in charge, and he knows it. I can't see Crowley giving up on Earth until it's too late, maybe abandoning ship last second as to avoid his own demise, but it's a question as to what he could piece together on his own, whether or not Hell would still tell him things, etc when it comes to what he'd actually try to achieve. After all, you can't thwart what you don't know the details of. It would be a lost cause. (Personally, I don't see him becoming a Duke of Hell either; it's something I can enjoy in fanworks but I don't see him as the type to take that deal even to 'spite Aziraphale' in canon. Not unless he hoped to get intel? But I think he'd much rather not have them watching him.)

Could either of them thwart the Second Coming on their own or with others besides each other? Very, very unlikely, and it would be a very close call, and probably still entail other sorts of disaster. Could they do it without crossing paths at least once? Also very unlikely. (After all, the entire driving force of S1/the book is how many people come together for Armageddon in attempts to either start or stop it). If they work at this and want to stand a chance they're doomed to reunite, and therefore, doomed to reconcile. They would quite literally have to be exterminated or wiped out of the Book of Life in order to never reunite (and I just don't think this is that kind of story). Make of this what you will.

(I also can't see them just being able to go back to before their feelings were revealed to each other, either. There's no pretending it isn't there, anymore. Crowley said as much. No more hiding. I don't think this doomed their relationship going forward, even if it may take a while to fully smooth things over.)

TL;DR They'd fight like hell for Earth, probably wouldn't be able to succeed without the other, probably die trying anyways and with many regrets regarding each other. Best case scenario God personally intervenes out of the blue and mercifully decides to thwart Heaven's own plan but they both still spend the rest of eternity thinking of what could've been. They'd hate it. They'd miss each other SO BAD and would (fail to) pretend they didn't.

-Pure South Downs fluff would be such tonal whiplash lmao and would also feel kinda unearned? I think fluffier moments shine brightest when the characters have had to work for it a little and Aziraphale/Crowley still have a LOT of problems that need to be sorted in order to be able to be happy together. (Also it's just... not gonna happen. You can't tease the Second Coming and then skip past it to an "everything's fine" future.) The entire point of S3 for me is we KNOW where they'll end up- we want to see HOW. It's not a story without stakes and consequences and a bit of risk, at least when it comes to Good Omens. That isn't to say that they need to be tortured or whatever in S3 to feel earned, but we need to see a lot of things get wrapped up (Second Coming, Aziraphale needs Heaven to leave him alone + needs to be able to work through his complicated feelings regarding it, Crowley needs for Hell to stop calling on him, they need to be able to safely communicate what they want, they need to talk about the kiss, etc). We want to see these!! We can't get these without a bit of hurt. I wanna see them break free more than I want pure fluff. That's just me though.

(With that being said, I hope that at least they get a BIT of time next season to just... be together. Happily. And do some of the things they couldn't before. And by a 'bit of time' I mean 'I sure do hope it's more than like 2 minutes before the credits roll but I will take literally anything I can get at this point'. There's potential here!!! So much of it!!! And they deserve it!!! It's just not the show's tone for it to take up that much time. I'd miss the chaos too much I think, and I'd miss the catharsis of seeing a character finally getting what they want in real time. Just a BIT of fluff at the end though, all I ask. This could insta-kill me.)

TL;DR Bit too much!!! I want them to bicker!!! In a way that's framed comically!!! This is a comedy show!!! And I want to watch them get through hard times!!! I just also want them to make out afterwards and also save the world and stuff. Then I'll be satisfied.

-Honestly I haven't thought much about possible plot twists in S3? I take the Final Fifteen pretty "straightforward" (I don't think the coffee is spiked, I don't think they stopped time, I don't think they body swapped, I don't think the Metatron will be "secretly good", etc) so I don't think there's really enough to go off of at the moment for me when it comes to the plot itself, let alone plot twists for it. I will say though if God is in S3 I will lose my shit; I have a feeling She wouldn't be "caring" but not 100% pure dark evil either if we DO see Her. I don't think She won't be what most fans expect. (Of course, that's just in the hypothetical that She appears. Who knows?)

TL;DR Where is God I'm scared

It took me over an hour to draft this response my bad

#z.txt #fandomflux33 #ask box #nobody can ask me about this show without getting literal essays i apologize </3

[altschmerzes]

@jamiesfootball because you asked, here's a random assortment of clips of prose that are stuck in my brain, from the highlights sections of various books i've read on my kindle, some short, some longer, some profound, some that just got stuck in the gears:

Everyone's judgement was impaired. Nothing said or done now could be trusted. But somehow it wouldn't be forgotten or forgiven.

the ritual, adam neville

"Real magic can never be made by offering up someone else's liver. You must tear out your own, and not expect to get it back. The true witches know that."

the last unicorn, peter s beagle

The unicorn was weary of human beings. Watching her companions as they slept, seeing the shadows of their dreams scurry over their faces, she would feel herself bending under the heaviness of knowing their names.

the last unicorn, peter s beagle

But at the same moment, Prince Lír said, "No." The word escaped him as suddenly as a sneeze, emerging in a questioning squeak - the voice of a silly young man mortally embarrassed by a rich and terrible gift. "No," he repeated, and this time the word tolled in another voice, a king's voice; not Haggard, but a king whose grief was not for what he did not have, but for what he could not give.

the last unicorn, peter s beagle (cutting myself off here or i'd just include half the book) (some more under the cut)

"You're a knight now, Kay. You're one of them. They can't touch you, and they'll listen to you. I want you to be my go-between. You're my consiliarius, man. I trust you." Arthur leans over, grasps Kay's arm. Pulls him to himself, until their foreheads touch. "I love you, Kay. You know that, right?" "I love you too, Arthur." "We're brothers, Kay!" "Yes," Kay says. "Brothers." Arthur smiles. And Kay knows, at that moment, that he's lost him. That the Arthur he knew is gone forever, had perhaps never existed in the first place. This new Arthur is nobody's friend, and nobody's brother. He is alone.

by force alone, lavie tidhar

“This isn’t how the story’s written. There’s no happy ending for kings. They become by beating or killing the competition, then they rule, then…” He makes a chopping motion. “Another upstart comes along. And he’s young, and he’s hungry, and he’s just a little bit more vicious and he’s not scared to die. The king is dead. Long live the king.”

by force alone, lavie tidhar

The astonishing thing was how little appreciation existed for what all this meant; for what Tomahawk could do. As if it had not penetrated human understanding that each of them could transport a 200-kiloton nuclear warhead and that ships carried them by the score; the circumstance scarcely realized that Tomahawk embodied a revolution not just in seapower but in warfare itself, to the extent one could fairly state that it made little difference any longer what happened to land weapons, whether they were banned or not. It is a hard thing to say but the fact was this: All of the talk concerning the restriction or elimination of lad-based missiles constituted a historic charade, terrible in its meaning, its illusion. If the last one of these had been removed by such negotiations, nothing would have changed. It was almost as though people were being lulled into forgetting that there existed something called the sea: and that there are many seas, indeed that they occupy seven-tenths of the planet, and that there is no spot of land that cannot be reached by an object launched from some sea by a ship. People either did not know or could not grasp the fact that a single ship, such as ours, could fairly well exterminate a continent. And there were many ships.

the last ship, william brinkley

I read the letters the ship's blinker sent back in white bickerings across the water BOATS UNDERWAY SILVA BACK WITH FINE CATCH ENOUGH FOR ALL HANDS SILVA SAYS FISH AS GOOD AS CAPE COD SO MUST BE SOMETHING SINCE SILVA SAYS THAT'S WHERE GOD WAS BORN

the last ship, william brinkley

All witches are selfish, the Queen had said. But Tiffany's Third Thoughts said: Then turn selfishness into a weapon! Make all things yours! Make other lives and dreams and hopes yours! Protect Them! Save Them! Bring them into the sheepfold! Walk the gale for them! Keep away the wolf! My dreams! My brother! My family! My land! My world! How dare you try to take these things, because they are mine! I have a duty!

the wee free men, terry pratchett

#gav gab #this truly runs the gamut of a bunch of things huh #long post

[snootsnooter]

Nobody asked but I have thoughts and want to babble so y'all are my dubiously willing rubber duckies.

Thoughts on various Hazbin Hotel characters under the read more

Charlie - She's very cute, naive, and uber optimistic. Genuinely I'd call her a sweet little cinnamon roll. Though, that being said, so far she's felt like a pretty one dimensional character in the four episodes we've seen her. I really do hope she gets a little more characterization as the show goes on and that she doesn't end up with the same issue Millie from the sister Helluva Boss show has.

Vaggie - I really like her new design tbh! Characterization wise though I really wish we knew? Literally anything about her? The most we get is a hint that okay she died in 2014, she's Charlies gf, and has been involved in war / battles thanks to the classic group bonding episode. The only real interesting thing she might have going for her is? That she could POTENTIALLY be some fallen angel / ex exterminator, as per old hazbin headcanons claim, or that she might be one of Carmilla's daughters. Again I'm hoping she ends up getting more characterization soon and doesn't end up another Millie. Also why the hell does Husk and Angel Dust have more chemistry after episode 4 than Vaggie and her already established gf do? I'm??

Angel Dust - An interesting character for sure, and I'm very curious to see how his story plays out. Could do without him making everything sexual 24/7 but given the situation the character is in and how he tries to cope with it, it's whatever.

Alastor - Idk I actually don't really have a whole lot to say about him? Sure he's interesting, I want to know his motivations as to why an overlord like him is helping Charlie and why both he and Lilith were gone for 7 years but??? Idk I'm sort of indifferent to him at the current moment? He's kind of just the one note silly wacky chaos character with mysterious motives. I do really like his voice though!

Nifty - I thought I'd like her more than I do but? Honestly I don't really care for her at the moment. She's the typical yandere character but, again like most of the female characters in the Hellaverse, is kinda one note and ultimately forgettable. Nor do we know anything about her (yet).

Husk - Gonna be honest, this grumpy kitty had my heart from the pilot. He's def one of my favorite characters in the show, and personally I think his backstory of being, for lack of better terms, a fallen overlord is really interesting. For having been a gambling con man magician in his human life, I do have to wonder why he was chosen to be a cat rather than a rabbit? or perhaps a snake? Though I suppose the magician aspect of what originally went into his character had since been dropped, since they seem to have leaned more into him being just a gambler. His budding relationship with Angel Dust, whether be it as friends or eventual lovers, is very cute and very genuine tbh. Still questioning why they have more chemistry than Vaggie and Charlie but here we are. I also really adore his singing voice ough it's very smooth and very pleasant to listen to.

Velvette - oh lord I do NOT like this character, but then again, I don't really like any character that has the typical Bitchy Influencer tm type personality... Or any of those irl influencer type folks in general. Though I do want to know why? she was made english? I mean I understand a good portion of it is probably so that the three V's are unique in some way with Vox being the american one and Valentino the latino. Making her english certainly gives her that distinction from the other two, I suppose I'm just surprised they didn't go with the California valley girl type accent for her.

Valentino - vile, sleezy, disgusting, I love him. He's absolutely everything a villain like him should be. I'm personally super glad that his big red coat isn't? actually JUST a coat tbh? I think it's a super neat idea that it's actually his wings folded over his body and held together with either some sort of clamps (like the decorative enamel pins you'd find connecting both sides of the lapel on a leather jacket) or some kind of piercing.

Vox - oh no why is he my type.

#thoughts #hazbin hotel

[squeiky]

A Sonic and shadow introspecitive:

Time fore a less ship fueled anlaysis rant thing!

I had previous made a more shipping fueled post on these two hedgehogs (aka this post below):

But now it's time to get be rid of shipping, and just look at their relationship/dynamic as a whole

Now, these are my thoughts so say what you will. There are plenty other sources on how they're relationship works, and I can go on and on- but this is how I see it.

Ready? Just click below, it's a wild ride:

Sonic and shadow: Theme of respect.

While trying to figure out what made these to click so nicely together, while taking away all the extra fluff and banter- you get this theme of respect.

Starting with shadow (as per usual):

When they first met, shadow and sonic were immediately at odds eith one another, which shadow considering sonic as a "lower lifeform" a simple "pest" or thing in his way if you will. (Signified by his first appearance with sonic, literally being above him.)

But as time goes on between shadow's view of sonic eventually changes. Going from pest to an even challenge, an actual block in his way.

Sonic starts to surprise shadow, making him question himself and the hedgehog.

From the very beginning when sonic calls shadow "faker!" (Similar to "imposter") which is a question on shadow's identity, something he is very protective of (calling him "fake" is like adding salt in a wound that was already burning- aka it's an insult of sorts towards own, confusing identity, and makes him question things he doesn't want too.) . This causes shadow to do a little display of power, to show sonic "who's the real hedgehog here."

This is one of the first cracks in his apathetic cold-hearted killer facade and the most easily missed. Sonic was the first to add a question mark to title"Shadow the Ultimate lifeform." Which is what causes this rivalry in the first place. Sonic is the first change to the cycle of Shadow the Ultimate Lifeform, to Shadow the Hedgehog.

Here we eventually start to see these cracks more and more often.

Shadow, suprisingly or not, starts to enjoy this bantars and fights against sonic. You also start to see the slow,

but steady,

Pace in which the framing of where shadow stands and where sonic stands start to get closer together.

Not only do they grow closer in terms of elevation, they always grow closer in distance.

They go from enemies, to rivals, to freinds.

The shots between both sonic and shadow start to become closer, as the two gain an respect and appreciation for one another.

Its subtle, yet significant. It shows shadow's idea of who sonic is, from some pest to exterminate, a formidable foe and possible threat to the mission, to someone on equal grounds- someone worthy of respect.

This applies to sonic as well, of course to a lesser extreme.

Here we are at sonics point of veiw:

Sonics whole interaction with shadow starts of similarly to Shadow, except with a bit of a twist.

People normally see shadow's point of view view it comes to the framing, and disregard sonics.

Sonic, at first-sees shadow as a mysterious, threat. The fact is, sonic says with his own words, "the government has mistaken me for the likes of you", during their first interaction.

This tells me 2 things.

1. Sonic already sees shadow as no-good.

2. He's pissed. He has to deal with this nonsense beacuse of shadow. Getting chased down by a truck and getting captured is pretty annoying and frustrsting when your innocent . He even goes as far as to call him a faker, implying he thinks shadow's framing him.

The way the scene is shot also indicates sonics perception of the threat shadow poses.

He's above him, as sonic doesn't know what he's capable of. Since he got the government to chase him down and capture him, who knows what else the stranger can do?

There's even a point, though for a second, where sonic thought shadow was capable of the same super speed sonic has, if not faster. Of course, he later realises what "chaos control" is. (Aka travleing through time and space/telporting/time stopping ability.)

Sonic, sees shadow as a major threat. He even gets captured on purpose just to gather intel (he tells Amy this when she tries to free him, if I remebered correctly) on shadow.

As time goes on, sonic also starts to know more and more about shadow, who he is and what he's doing.

He becomes less and less of a threat, and someone he can talk, listen to and compete with.

(Notice how sonic goes from calling him "faker" to "Shadow"? That's respect upon someone. That "faker" thing was calling shadow a imposter of sorts. Calling him by name is respecting his identity and who he is. Not as the imposter, or a faker trying to present or frame sonic.)

Eventually, both shadow and sonic are one the same level, racing side by side. One not trying to outrun the other untill their conversation is complete. (Its that iconoc scene with sonics "what you see is what you get")

Now, translations can get icky across countries, but to put it swiftly-

The most important thing to me in this interaction has to be when shadow asks, "who are you, exactly?"

(Or something along the lines of that.)

See, this entire time both hedgehogs have been making assumptions about one or the other. Whether it's right or wrong.

This question is the true, final turning point in their relationship. Where shadow, is now asking the same question sonic was when he first met him.

"Who are you?"

For sonic, atleast at first- that question meant finding out what kind of opponent he's facing/dealing with.

But for shadow? This the biggest turning point in his view of sonic. The most respect he can give. It also shows shadow's own curiosity, something he didn't portray with anyone else.

Shadow has viewed sonic as a pest, block in the road, an opponent, but here? He is in sonic's position. He's asking the questions. He is the one, who wants to know more about sonic.

(Shadow didnt care about anyone, neither does he make the attempt to care. This is the first starting of where he actually starts to invest time into getting to really know someone down there on the earth, and not hide it behind some layered mask.)

Sonic's awsner, "I am what I am, a hedgehog who likes adventure. I'm Sonic, Sonic the hedgehog."

Or for those who don't read the Japanese english subtitles and play english dub-

"What you see is what you get, I'm sonic the hedgehog!"

Is one we all love.

It's also one that tells shadow, that this guy isn't all these things I've mention earlier.

To Shadow, Sonic is now Sonic. Just a guy, like him. They're at the same level. They're equals in this giant world of unfair.

If you've been wondering, where's the theme of respect?

This is it! This is respect! Sonic to Shadow, is Sonic the hedgehog. Shadow to Sonic I'm Shadow the hedgehog.

It's as simple as that really.

It's acknowledging one another for who and what they are and accepting that fact.

...

Later on in the story, everyone learns of shadow's backstory. We all know the whole exposition dialouge, and how everything came to be. (Whether sonic saw it or not? I don't remember.)

I don't think this changes anything in their relationship. At this point, that level of respect can't go away.

They face the biolizard together, and the superform together. You can't do that with someone who distrust, or with someone you hate.

During the entire battle against the biolizard, they're checking up on eachother and making sure one or the other is okay.

At the end? Shadow dies and sonic greives.

Alongside rouge of course, who is in a bit of disbelief. The only proof he has to show her is a golden bracelet shadow wears around his wrist and ankles.

The utmost, and I mean the MOST respect I have seen in the sonic franchise in a very long time is the scene where sonic says:

"He was what he was..a brave and heroic hedgehog, who gave his life to this planet. Shadow the hedgehog."

Not rival, not threat, not some expectation fueled title like " the ultimate lifeform", not some creature, or science lab project (I'm looking at you rouge- girl had to correct herself), not a villan-

But a brave, and a heroic hedgehog.

He is literally the only one, in a very, very long time- to have ever said such sweet, genuine thing about a guy he basically just met.

Not only was this a way comfort Rouge in her own grievance and denial, but to comfort himself as well.

....

When sonic was alone, you could see him muttering about shadow. Saying things like "created the ultimate lifeform."

Though this can interpreted. What ever it is, we can tell that he is thinking of shadow.

To me? I believe it's simply him fully taking in what has happened a long this journey, this adventure. Who shadow is, and what he came to be. Who he was before, and what he is to sonic now.

I've come to think of this as him fully processing and relaying the new and old information of shadow the hedgehog. Gaining a higher level of respect, and understanding of Shadow.

I think, in the end- The "Sayanora, Shadow the hedgehog" is a wonderfully end to that thought process.

It's a farewell, one of which you will never see someone again. Then, to add "Shadow the hedgehog", a respectful signature on both Shadow as their own being, self and identity as a whole.

To me, Sonic is saying " I know will never see you again, but for the time the we've shared, I'm glad to have met you, Shadow the hedgehog."

And he moves on in life. Sonic isn't one to let these things drag him down for to long. He grieves, he reminces, thinks and moves on.

It's bittersweet, and a very perfect end to the tale that is Sa2 as well as sonic and shadow.

...

Bit of a bonus:

(Just stuff that didn't fit)

The ironically, Sonic is the one telling Rouge who Shadow is. Rouge, despite getting to know shadow for who he is (mostly) first, has doubt in shadow- while sonic does not. It's an intresting thing- (I failed to pick up on this earlier actually! )

ROUGE EVEN STARTS WITH THE WHOLE "CREATED BY" LIKE OHMYGOD- DISREPESCT UPON THEE!! Though I get it, she was doubting and trying to understand the information recently given to her, so it makes sense. BUT I CANT BELIEVE SONIC IS THE ONE WHO HAD TO TELL HER-

Sonic is also the only one who is actively thinking of shadow. (Everyone is off grieving, or thinking of something else, or you're Amy and seem blissfully ignorant.)

This game is literally the only game I have seen in awhile where sonic and shadow have a genuine handshake. (Really Sega? We've come this far and not a single handshake? But sureee we can have the two fistfight eachother to the death.)

Scratch that, the only game I ever seen where shadow and sonic are actively worried for eachother, and eachothers safety.

The two even switch their titles at some point! Sonic gives shadow his "the hedgehog" and shadow (might be scrapped or not idk) gives sonic his "the ultimate lifeform" even adds a little, "the true" to it.

I'm not elaborating on other games, sa2 gets shadow character right the first time. It's literally his debut.

The reason for that? Is beacuse their relationship across games tend to fluctuate from enemies, rivals, freinds then to friendly rivals, rivals,and just flat out enemies and strangers. I'm sticking with this one game, as it's topinion i've seen sonic and shadow really genuinely interact in my oppion. Though I may be wrong.

This is all in one go btw, I'm not editing much or anything. If there's grammatical mistakes? Oh well! Too bad!

According to the sonic Twitter takeover, apprently sonic had tried to save shadow when he was falling , effectively putting himself in danger, just to save his fallen freind. I find this a strangley sonic thing to do. To help someone that is in need of saving, even at such a high risk. The fact Shadow deeply appreciates this, is also very neat.

Some people see the two as separated as oil and water- in truth they act more like how the sun and moon act. The sun a moon, never really seen in the same place, but when ever they are an eclipse can happen. It's rare, but these two definitely can work things out and can make a great duo when things are done right. Same goes with Rouge and knuckles. (One kicks on hits, a cool combo.)

#shadow the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog #sonic analysis #sonic charcaters #sonic adventure 2 #sonic and shadow #shadow and sonic #long post #long text post #long post tag #squeiky talks #anaylsis #rambles #squieky talks

[ambertrulife]

Fly - Hazbin Hotel AU

Hey there every one ! An another OS for my AU ! Really, I enjoyed writting them ! I'm so exited to tell you what I planned for the rest of the story ! What my headcnon are and were this fanfiction is leading to ! I just hoped thaht you liked it the same way I do !

______________________________________________________________

Vaggie watched Charlie wave her arms in a wing-like motion as she mimed the act of taking flight to Adam, who looked up at the sky and swore. The former exorcist couldn't suppress a smile when she saw her girlfriend ignore the insults and continue to imitate the movements the new sinner's gaunt wings had to perform. Although Adam seemed annoyed, he seemed to be enjoying the attention.

It had now been just over a month since the extermination had been called off, and the former angel had been killed only to be reborn as a sinner. He had the same face and build, but his once Caucasian skin was now a grayish-green tone. Ebony goat horns had grown on his head, the base of them a dripping blood red. Those once majestic wings were now plucked, skeletal. He tried not to show it, but this last aspect bothered him enormously. Vaggie had often caught him staring into a hall mirror at his flying appendages with an expression of pure loss. Everyone had seen him do it, even if the former angel thought he was discreet. So did Charlie, which had led to this situation.

"See? Like this!" exclaimed the princess, gesturing wildly.

"I know how to fly, bitch." grinned Adam. He crossed his arms. "More than you, for that matter."

"So, why don't you give it a try?" asked the princess, her smile still in place, despite a slight irritation in her eyes.

The First Man raised a mocking eyebrow and, in a gesture, lifted those balding wings.

"Isn't there something wrong when you see that? Doesn't it ring a bell?" he said in a clearly sarcastic tone.

"It doesn't mean a thing!" tells Charlie with a little wave of his hand. "There are indeed preachers and natives who fly without having feathers!"

"I don't think so," Adam grunted. Charlie gave him a sympathetic smile.

"I've been here longer than you! You can believe me when I tell you," she declared in a gentle yet firm tone. The First Man crossed his arms, looking sulky.

"They're not ancient angels." he contradicted, clearly more out of contradiction than real conviction. "When those bastards died, they must have been afraid of heights or something. Me, I loved flying. Hell will never let me enjoy soaring again. At least, not without drugs."

Charlie's sympathetic smile turned into a more compassionate one. She placed a hand on Adam's arm, who flinched at the contact, though he didn't pull away.

"I'm sure you'll be able to fly again, Adam. I'll do anything to make sure you do."

The First Man looked at her for a long moment before clicking his tongue.

"Don't make promises you can't keep, bitch." he said, his eyes lost in contemplation of the Hotel.

"And yet she's right, old friend!" a voice suddenly exclaimed, startling all three of them.

Vaggie looked up into the sky and was not so surprised to see Lucifer himself descending, all six wings spread, a provocative smile on his face. The ex-exterminator couldn't prevent an amused smile from appearing on her features, while those of her girlfriend took on an expression of pure admiration. Adam, for his part, frowned even more.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" snarled the former angel, causing a sneer of pure malice to appear on the King of the Hell's face.

"I happened to be out and about with my beautiful immaculate wings" replied the latter, in a clearly provocative tone "When I overheard your conversation! So I thought I'd come and cheer you up a bit!"

The King did a graceful spin to finish behind Adam who, far from being surprised, looked at the scene as if he'd seen it a million times. Charlie couldn't help but applaud, while Vaggie looked up at the sky: what a show-off!

"The Hell may be a place of punishment," Lucifer continued, pinching one of Adam's gaunt wings. "But it is above all a place of possibilities. Nothing is lost here, you just have to want it and overcome it."

Adam grimaced and took a few steps backwards, away from the King.

"What kind of bullshit are you talking, again?!" snapped Adam. "Hell is the very cradle of perdition!"

"That's what Paradise wants you to believe," Lucifer sneered, leaning forward to come face to face with Adam. "Yet you have before you the evidence that it isn't true."

"What?" questioned the First Man. He raised an eyebrow in incomprehension. The angel rose to his feet and gently ran his hand over one of his wings.

"You weren't here because you were in Eden" he said, his tone hard "But I didn't have my wings when I got here. Still, what a surprise!" he made an exaggerated expression of astonishment, which made Charlie laugh. "Look what I've got here! If those aren't wings, I wonder what are!"

"You're a Seraphim," Adam retorted, arms crossed. "You don't work like the others."

"Okay, so, how do you explain Maggie having wings too?" asked Lucifer, which provoked a frown from Adam.

"Wait, she has wings?" the ex-chief exterminator turned his head towards his former employee. The latter was uncomfortable with this observation and looked at Charlie who, with a nod, encouraged her. She sighed and, in a natural gesture, brought out her flying appendages. She took off with a powerful burst and circled around them, her gestures precise and military. She was fast, relentless and efficient. She returned to the ground but didn't land, looking defiantly at Adam. He was speechless. He stared at her as if she'd just committed the greatest affront he'd ever seen. He was the one who had ripped off her wings, after all.

"See?" said Charlie. She placed a hand on the First Man's arm. He glanced at the princess. "That's why I'm sure you can fly!"

Vaggie paid little attention to the rest of the conversation, reveling in Adam's expression. That bastard thought he'd destroyed her. He thought he'd ripped away everything she held dear, that he'd destroyed her existence and taken away all her angelic essence. He was wrong. Her heart filled with contentment as she watched the Man glued to the ground, knowing she was doing what he could no longer do. Suddenly, she heard a chuckle at her side and, glancing over, saw Lucifer standing there, arms crossed, his gaze also focused on Adam. He still had his provocative expression on his face, clearly pleased with the situation. Vaggie also let out a little giggle, which caught the attention of the King of the Hell. He gave her a sincere smile before his eyes changed from provocative to teasing. Vaggie didn't understand until, suddenly, the King of the Hell moved up a few inches, towering over her slightly. The ex-exterminator looked at Lucifer without really understanding why he was doing this. He merely raised an eyebrow in defiance, but nowhere near as wicked as the expression he had on Adam's face. She then giggled, and with a controlled flap of her wings, she flew past Lucifer by a few centimetres. The King of the Hell did likewise and passed her. They played a few moves before Vaggie, now clearly a player, made the biggest wing movement she could and flew several meters. She looked up at him, her eyes sparkling with mischief, while Lucifer laughed and applauded, clearly delighted. The King of the Hell rolled his shoulders and, with a flap of his wings that didn't seem to be well supported, flew even higher than her, adding several more meters to the distance she had covered.

"That's not fair!" she exclaimed, slightly frustrated. "You've got two pairs of wings more than me!"

"Oh believe me, Maggie!" laughed Lucifer "It's not the number of wings that counts! It's how you use them!"

"But of course!" she giggled, coming up to his level after a few flaps of her wings.

"I assure you it's true!" he said, a gleam of mischief in his eyes. "Back in the day, I used to get beat at racing by someone with only one pair of wings!"

Vaggie frowned at this answer. She wanted to ask him who it was, but she had a hunch it wasn't the right question to ask.

"How was that possible?" she then questioned.

"She had incredible flying techniques!" he exclaimed as he spun around gracefully. "She loved spins and all she did was tell us they were the key to success!"

Vaggie laughed a little, attracting the attention of Lucifer who, though smiling, raised an eyebrow of incomprehension.

"I'm sorry." she actually apologized "It's just that they taught us a precise and simple flight, to avoid unnecessary fatigue."

"Of course." Lucifer hissed, his gaze lost in the horizon. This provoked another frown from Vaggie. These words were clearly not intended for her. He then turned to her, a mischievous smile on his lips.

"You know what? Little challenge!" he exclaimed, amused. He pointed to a mountain several miles away, on the other side of town. "We're heading for that mountain. On the way, I'm going to make some moves. You'll have to reproduce them to perfection!"

Vaggie looked in the direction he was pointing, raising an eyebrow.

"It's not much of a challenge," she says. Indeed, given the distance, he'd be there in minutes.

"Oh, really?" the King's voice was teasing. He pirouetted and landed on top of her, upside down but motionless, causing the ex-exterminator to blink in surprise. How could he do that? "Wanna bet ?"

Vaggie laughs a little.

"No, no bet with you, sir." she said, then smiled defiantly. "But I accept your proposition. Let's see if I can do your spins."

"That's my girl." he chuckled, flicking her forehead. She blushed a little at the sign of affection and watched him fly away. She followed him.

They then advanced into the city skies and Vaggie followed Lucifer's instructions. He made a series of movements, often artistic, which she reproduced as faithfully as possible. However, she soon came to the conclusion that it wasn't as easy as she'd thought. Her muscles, especially those in her back, were beginning to protest. She was asking a lot of them, much more than when she flew as she'd been taught. Lucifer's choreographies required a lot of work, not least because he made her wings work individually, something she'd always thought impossible. During their training, the instructors had made it clear that efficiency came from the fact that the body was a whole, that it had to be united and synchronized. What Lucifer was making her do was the complete opposite.

She was really starting to tire, but the King of the Hell was very considerate of her. He let her rest, catching her breath as he flew beside her, grabbing her elbow to help her muscles relax. As soon as she'd finally regained enough confidence, he'd start again with new spin, and she'd happily follow him. She'd never had so much fun flying. In Heaven, flying was a necessity, not a pleasure, especially when you were in the army.

They finally arrived at their destination, much later than she had expected. She landed on the mountain floor, hands on knees as she caught her breath. Lucifer landed beside her, not a drop of sweat on him. He looked at her with eyes that were a mixture of teasing and pride.

"Well?" he said, clearly teasing. "Was it easy?"

"Okay, fine, I admit it." she laughed several times. "I was wrong."

He laughed and sat down on the floor, facing the city, his arms resting on his slightly raised knees. She followed suit, relieved to be able to sit down. She spread her legs and stretched her aching back. She heard a clatter of fingers beside her and was not surprised to see a bottle of water in Lucifer's hand.

"Drink." he ordered gently. "Otherwise, you'll cramp up."

"Thank you." she said, taking the bottle of water.

They remained silent for a moment, just long enough for Vaggie to rehydrate before the ex-exterminator spoke again.

"I didn't think it was that physical!" she said, clearly admiring. Lucifer chuckled.

"Michael always thought Raphaëlle was overdoing it," he says wistfully. "It doesn't surprise me that he taught his men to fly in more strategic ways."

Vaggie raised his eyebrows and was suddenly embarrassed.

"I'm sorry," she said. "But I wasn't trained by a guy named Michael. My master's name was Luke."

The King of the Hell laughed at this information and patted her gently on the head.

"Trust me, Maggie," he said, "you have more of a connection to Michael than you realize."

The ex-exterminator wanted to ask questions again, now more intrigued than ever, but she felt she shouldn't do so. Lucifer didn't look dangerous like that, but there was a glint of nostalgia in his expression, a glint far more devastating than any rage or hatred could be.

"My name is Vaggie, sir," she said softly.

"I know." he replied. "But Vaggie, it sounds like Vagina and I don't like it."

He suddenly looked embarrassed. He turned to her.

"I mean, if you'd rather I call you by another nickname, you say so, right? Or if you want me to call you by your first name? Because after all, you're the one who decides what people call you." he said in a quick, embarrassed, rambling tone that reminded her very much of Charlie. She smiled fondly at the memory of her girlfriend and, involuntarily, laid her hand on Lucifer's knee. He stopped and looked at Vaggie in amazement. There was a gleam of deep affection in her eyes.

"You can keep calling me that, sir," she said, gently. He smiles at her.

"You can call me Lucifer, if you like," he replied, taking her hand in his. "Or Luci, or future father-in-law, whatever you like."

She suddenly blushed, which made the King of the Hell explode with laughter.

When they returned to the hotel, Charlie was still there, albeit alone. Adam was nowhere in sight. The princess of the Hell looked up at them and her smile lit up when she saw them. The love Vaggie felt for this woman increased considerably and she approached her. Still flying, she placed her forehead against hers in an affectionate gesture that the demoness returned.

"I love your wings," Charlie whispered. Vaggie looked at her and blushed a little at her girlfriend's naughty expression. She glanced at Lucifer, who didn't seem to notice.

"Well, it's time for me to go!" he exclaimed, landing and putting those wings away. He looked affectionately at his daughter. "If you need me to help the other jerk, don't hesitate!"

"Thanks, Dad." she replied as she put an arm around the waist of the ex-exterminator who had also landed.

As the King of the Hell was about to walk away, Vaggie called out to him:

"Would it be possible for us to do it again sometime?"

He turned quickly, slightly surprised, then gave her a big smile.

"Anytime, Maggie," he replied.

"Thank you, Lucifer," Vaggie thanked, looking at him kindly.

He returned her gaze and moved away again. Charlie placed a kiss on her girlfriend's scalp and she turned her attention back to her, slightly surprised.

"I'm glad you're getting on well with my father," said the princess.

"Not difficult." declared the ex-exterminator, resting her head on his shoulder. "You're a lot alike, you know?"

Charlie had a mysterious expression for a second, which made Vaggie frown.

"Baby?" she asked. The princess smiled at her.

"It's nothing," she replied, stroking his cheek. "It's just that... I get that a lot."

The angel frowned, but didn't insist. She could see the same gleam in her companion's eyes as Lucifer's, that painful, devastating gleam that looked like total destruction. Decidedly, she had a lot of questions inside her that she couldn't ask, at least not yet. She placed a light kiss on her girlfriend's lips before returning to the hotel arm in arm. She'd have to investigate. The Morningstar family had many secrets she wanted to discover.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel vaggie #hazbin hotel adam

[avenger-hawk]

(genocide anon again) "the Uchiha genocide is a war crime that must be punished. Sasuke and the others needs therapy. We must help them and give them justice, not by writing fix-it fics but by calling out all those who are ok with this systemic injustice and exploitation of underage characters" that's stupid wtf? Because like... these are Shinobi? The existence of Shinobi like that in a real-world scenario would be unethical. But like beyond that, it's like... So Shinobi literally exist to carry out the "dirty" work of fire country and it's daimyo. And ANBU carry the dirtiest of dirty work. Assassination and Clan Elimination orders are par for course I'd assume, what makes the Uchiha Massacre "special" is that it's a) a pretty large clan, b) one of the main clans c) one of the founding clans of Konoha. (And what makes it a "genocide" is that it meets the UN definition of one but I don't think Narutoverse has a UN or the Armenian genocide, Simele Massacre and Holocaust which led to the coning of the word genocide.)

And like, what makes it "special" and more or less "horrifying" to the people in Naruto was that again, it was against one of the main & founding clans of Konoha. Which means that if this wasn't just "itachi snapping and testing his strength" as was said publicly, that meant that the same could happen to the Hyuuga, to the Inuzuka, to the Nara , to the Ino etc. How much of a bloodline limit, skilset or influence was "too much power" to warrant the elimination of a major clan? That could threaten or even collapse the entire clan system of Konoha. Heck if the hokage (and not Danzo bcs if that happened he'd definitely be killed, either by order of the hokage so he wouldn't have to deal with all the other clans or by assassination by one of the clans) went and 'publicly' (very flexible definition of publicly) ordered the extermination of the Uchiha, he'd probably face an insurrection led by every major clan because that'd be considered an active threat to all of these clans.

The outrage wouldn't be over the fact that it was a clan elimination order, they're shinobi and that's ANBU they've probably carried out similar orders at the request of the daimyo. What would cause the outrage is that it's a major clan and a bit over that it was a clan of konoha. But even then, if the Daimyo ordered the death of a small clan in Konoha and the task was given to one of the ANBU to carry it out, they'd be unhappy about it sure, but they'd understand.

Another sticking point would be that the order was given to someone of the clan to carry it out. This wouldn't normally happen, because that's just inviting treason. If you wanted to inspire disloyalty in your shinobi, that's what you'd do. I'm assuming that the Uchiha were a special case in that they were too powerful as clan to have a non-uchiha carry out the massacre — in that non-uchiha shinobi would've failed and been killed.

But like, yeah, they're shinobi. Assassination and elimination orders aren't all that new to them, that's what they do. That's the job. It's that it's one of Konoha's major clans that makes this event "special".

And like sure, I like to think of Sasuke and even Naruto (the destruction of Uzushio) as survivors/remants of genocide. But that's more on the... loss, loss of people sure but also loss of heritage and those who could teach you it. The disconnect with the 'culture'. The dying traditions... etc.

I like to explore these things.

But harassing people over a massacre in The Ninja Anime is... stupid.

(genocide anon, if that wasn't clear)

                                                   *****

Yeah I don’t like to engage in discussions that compare the Naruto universe with the real world and even if you apparently say you don’t either it’s exactly what’s happening here?

Ofc like I said it’s stupid to use real world arguments for a universe where war is normal, children go to shinobi academy and fight in said wars, it’s ok to put an orphan in an apartment to fend for himself and it sure ain’t no therapy or UN (which, since you mentioned, didn’t even recognize all real world genocides, like Ukraine’s Holodomor) and no one cares about what defines a genocide.

I don’t understand why ppl can’t accept the Naruto universe as it is...countries are ruled by Daimyos, that rely on shinobi for protection, espionage, war and whatever else. So ofc shinobi do the dirty work, there are also samurai but they’re less relevant than shinobi, because their universe is more reliant on sneaky manoeuvres, forbidden techniques and so on.

The Uchiha clan was incredibly powerful and probably always feared and thus at some moment the discrimination started, they decided to rebel against this and in this context Danzo used Konoha’s fear and intolerance towards them to convince the other elders and Hiruzen that the only solution was to destroy the whole clan, using Itachi. Maybe because only an Uchiha could kill others, maybe because he didn’t want other Konoha shinobi to get their hands dirty with such a horrible command.

Ofc it’s horrible to lose one’s clan, traditions and identity and Sasuke held tight to what he remembered of them. Naruto didn’t have anything to remember so he suffered for different reasons, like being lonely. Sasuke remembered so he suffered the loss of everything he knew, had and loved.

(It’s very clear who you are...I guess what’s less clear is that I don’t believe anons saying they’re genocide survivors. If in the beginning I told myself to just leave hints of my distrust. Then I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt but the way ‘genocide anon’ became your identity looks like you kinda found the perfect label to be a tumblr special snowflake. Not my problem, but I don’t want to interact with liars. I prefer “simple” nobodys)

#vivalarevolution #also idk. maybe my english is bad and ppl don't understand me? #sorry if I sound harsh but I am triggered by liars right now and I don't want any around #y'all can be triggered by the sight of whatever? I am triggered by fake #also. there are ways to tell a lie in a more convincing way. I know cause I was lied to a lot. this is not convincing #ofc in your own blog you can do whatever you want and invent all the things you prefer...it's just that...with me...it doesnt work

[bemylord]

todo finding out that his s/o is takada-chan’s younger sister

rq: Hey Ny👋 i would like to request something. Can you write a Drabble about Todo finding out that his s/o is Takada-chan’s younger sister? I thought it would be funny, you don’t have to do this but I appreciate it.🙏

characters: aoi todo x fem!reader.

warnings: just todo being overdose with his s/o and takada-chan. it's super fondness and funny + au. my grammar mistakes.

butler's remark: (^◕ᴥ◕^) hello lord, it's me with a fluff work as you might see. did his s/o a todo's type: man has a booty kink [if there is one], in any case, it's a short sketch. also, i couldn't find todo's image like gojo's one or itadori's so i apologize.

disclaimer: everything you read is purely my opinion - any detail, sketch, or event is a figment of my imagination.

you knew your boyfriend was is a huge fan of your older sister, that's why you kept hiding your 'secret' from todo. not because he'd a clingy and be asking to get acquainted with her. you were waiting 'till your sister will have a concert whilst todo will be on the mission - what a shame to be probably on the other side of town when your idol is performing - the probability of such a coincidence is extremely small, but not equal to zero.

like now, when takada has her performance, todo is fighting over the special grade cursed spirit. he couldn't do anything but to exterminate the monster, so he could watch the takada's concert.

a few hours after your sister's concert, when your lover showed up on the doorstep of the house.

'i missed the concert. it was a rare occasion, it-' todo is standing in the door frame, sobbing as he missed the concert his idol. you never mentioned you like her or watching takada's shows on the screen, therefore, todo has to impress you with her. /if he knew she is your sister/

aoi todo - as i mentioned before - would be freak around you when nobody sees: his hands will wrap your waist all time, mostly in the evenings as both of you will be watching tv, but in reality, neither todo nor you ain't seeing what on the screen, mainly, you give each other warmth and hugs.

todo upset as he couldn't show you her concert. he sits on the couch in the living room, tossed his head.

'i wanted to bring you to the concert, so afterward we could have the memory'

'aoi..'

'whose concert?'

takada's head peeked out from behind the door frame leading into the kitchen as she came into the room with her stage persona [?]. todo is sitting there, looking at you, at her, not knowing what's going on.

'y/n, do you see what i see?'

you looked at your older sister, giggled. todo laid his elbows on his knees, put a chin on his fist, speculating on the situation. even being a grade first sorcerer, his brain is mushy as his capability to think straight is lost. todo could calculate a masterful plan of how to beat the spirit but at this moment, he doesn't know what to say.

'my hallucination probably played out, there is no percentage to takada-chan being here and even had spoken'

'do you think i'm not real?'

aoi's brain starts to work as the idol came to the sorcerer, dramatically pouted her lips. the moment of realization of what's happening dawned on him, as light pink blush is dotted on his cheeks, as he almost jumped off the couch.

't-takada-chan, i.. you real? certainly, you ain't fake, just..'

todo is dawned by a sudden feeling, which is hard for him to describe - such an unplanned meeting with an idol unquestionably makes him impossible to talk. even tho he's a sorcerer, ranged first which means he's powerful and astute when it comes to finding the best plan to exterminate the cursed spirit.

'i've been all ears about you - y/n told me that you're the strongest among your students. i am glad that my sister is dating someone powerful and kind like you, todo-san'

have you ever seen someone red like a tomato? well, now you've got an opportunity to have a look - the side of aoi probably you and takada allowed to see is when he's as happy as a child, the full teeth smile [?] that will not leave his face until the end of the evening, he will illuminate the room.

'don't call me todo-san, it's aoi. you're my girlfriend sister, i feel uncomfortable for you to use the formal'

the second question - have you ever seen someone being battle-crazed meathead and willing to demolish everyone but actually melty ice cream and sugary? my answer is simple - aoi todo.

all evening todo had been listening to your sister's stories with admiration in his eyes, peeping at you with those practically puppy eyes as if they're reading: 'thank you, honey'. todo kinda complacent - not everyone has got a chance to talk to the idol like aoi does.

throughout the evening the little and cute blush on his dimpled cheeks staying as if that's how it should be. out of a significant and fearsome man remained a small, purring cat, if you can characterize him that way.

'takada-chan, may i-'

'call me takada, aoi'

'takada.. may you give me taka-tan beam, please?'

at last, before leaving your house, your older sister looked back at todo's request, as if she was waiting 'till he uttered the phrase. she let out a cheerful but quiet chuckle.

'here i go' as if at that meeting when todo had time to come [he probably missed the class to see your sister], still he gets tensed when takada cleared her throat a little.

at first, she clenched her left hand in a small fist, covering her face with a curve of her elbow, next swiftly closed left eye, bringing the index and middle finger toward her eye with the back of his hand to the todo and you, pronouncing, likely the most favorite phrase taka-tan.

'here you go, aoi. i had the pleasure of meeting my sister's boyfriend. goodbye, thanks for the invitation, y/n!'

you smiled as a response, closed the door whilst todo is still speechless.

'oi, y/n, why you didn't choose to be an idol? therefore i'd be your huge fan number one'

'i've chosen another way. but, if i'll be the idol like my sister, hm~ i'll have the huge crowd of fanboys, who'd like to steal my heart'

he wanted to respond but instead of saying, todo wrapped his arms around your body, kissing your forehead.

'i'm glad that you're only mine, y/n. i love you'

you smacked your lips against his as your hands are holding his cheeks.

'..maybe i should be an idol after all..'

'and show your boot- your body to every boy? i'm not allowed you, you. are. mine!'

what is going to be next? well, you'll spend the night in todo's arms as he'll tell you, probably thousand and one quotes why you're his and why he loves you. that fondness of his is unforgettable.

(☆ω☆)

butler recommends you to see this video of todo meets takada-chan and taka-tan beam. hope it's fluff and kinda funny, sorry if it's not. also that cute moment in the end, i think it was UwU.

[?] - correct if i'm wrong.

↳ back to the main master list.

#aoi todo x reader #aoi todo #todo x reader #jujutsu kaisen drabbles #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen todo #jujutsu kaisen aoi todo #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jjk todo #jjk aoi #jjk drabbles #aoi todo fluff #aoi todo drabbles #todo fluff #todo drabbles #jjk fanfic

[ga-yuu]

I thought I would have some fun! Since IkeGen’s 2nd anniversary is just around the corner, and mostly likely the next route would of Kagetoki. I was just scrolling through twitter to pass time,(because that’s my life now, since the lockdown started again!) I found something interesting!

Yeah! I missed it. So I decided to translate it now. So basically, this is the reward for making Kagetoki, the 9th best man in the Genjiden 1st anniversary election. Its called ‘Kagetoki Kagekini News.’ The newscaster, Kagetoki, will be reporting on the events of the Genji Den. So let’s start!!!!

Breaking News!! Suspect Yoshitsune and two others have been detained by a certain Karasu Tengu!

Kagetoki: “The suspects Minamoto no Yoshitsune, Nasu no Yoichi, and Musashibo Benkei have been taken into custody by a certain Karasu Tengu, the victim. The three are suspected of breaking the victim's incense burner and were planning to cover up the crime. Let us hope for a swift and severe punishment.”

Yoshitsune: "There is no room for apologies. I'm sorry, Kurama. I had no idea that an incense burner was so fragile. --Instead, let me prepare a new shiny object that you like. I don't know if I have the discernment to choose such a thing.”

Yoichi: "Hey, how come they even know that we were trying cover-up? Where did you see it?　No, actually I feel bad too. I'm sure you'll be happy to know that I'm not the only one. ......But I underestimated Yoshitsune-sama's honesty.”

Benkei: “ Yoshitsune-sama is pure and innocent. More importantly, Kagetoki, your desire for severe punishment is entirely your own personal wish!　You should be more impartial in your reporting. ...and Kurama. I'm sorry. I'll make you some tasty snacks, so please forgive us for now.”

Kurama: "You thought you could pull the wool over my eyes, you fool. I will have that new shiny object and those delicious sake and snacks. But if it's not to my liking, you'll have to know that I won't let you get away with it. ...First of all, Sueharu, bring me a list of the items you're offering.”

Sueharu: "Yes, yes, you're a product expert, aren't you? If you ask me, I'll prepare first-class products for you (at first-class prices, of course.) Oh, you're ordering everything from here to here?　That's Yoshitsune-sama and Kurama!　--Thank you again for everything.”

........................

Breaking News!!! The Two Minamoto brothers has been arrested. An epic sibling rivalry led to an explosion!

Kagetoki: "Suspects Minamoto no Yoritomo and Minamoto no Yoshitsune have been arrested. According to eyewitnesses, the two were staring at each other with their swords drawn when suddenly a vacant house in the vicinity exploded and scattered. They are suspected to be related. ...Is this a case of involvement due to an epic sibling quarrel?”

Yoshitsune: "I didn't expect to be arrested every day. But this time I plead not guilty. It is true that I myself and Yoritomo-sama were pointing swords at each other, but the explosion that followed is beyond my knowledge. ...And please don't call it a brotherly quarrel.”

Yoritomo: "You've got some nerve arresting me here. But I'm not guilty either. I ran into Yoshitsune, who was scouting in Kamakura, and I drew my sword. I saw a black shadow just before the house was blown up. I think we should investigate him first...... And don't call it a sibling rivalry.”

Shigehira: "--and why is Yoritomo-sama being arrested!　I'm not sure what to make of this, but I'm sure it's something that's going to be a big deal for the Shogunate.  ...... A mysterious black shadow, then. I'm sure you'll be happy to know that I'm not the only one who has a problem with this.”

Morinaga: "What is this feeling? When I heard that Yoritomo-sama was arrested for fighting with his brother, I naturally smiled. ...Oh, I'm sorry, can you please edit out that sentence?　I think Yoritomo-sama is going to say something to me. And I understand about the investigation. Let's do our best, Shigehira.”

..................

Further News. The real perpetrator of the explosion has been arrested.

Kagetoki: "Continuing news. The real culprit in the bombing of the vacant house yesterday has been arrested. The suspect is Abe no Yasuchika, as most of us expected. He is suspected of releasing demons throughout Kamakura. The suspect made a joking statement, saying that he had no ill will toward the demons.”

Yasuchika: "Oh no, I really didn't mean to offend you.　I was just going for a light walk and because the newly captured demon wanted to play outside. But when I saw Yoritomo-sama and Yoshitsune-sama having a sibling quarrel, I got scared and accidentally popped him!”

Ibuki: "You accidentally popped it. ...That looks like a pretty interesting toy. Hey Yasuchika, let me borrow that demon. You need a walk, don't you?　I'll take you out somewhere more exciting and with a better view.”

Akihito: "Oh dear. I don't know what kind of "exciting" walk we'll have if Ibuki is in charge. Anyway, Kagetoki, what do you mean most of us were right?　Yasuchika is such a good and honest boy. ...You think so too, don't you?”

Tamamo: "Kagetoki, you're completely right about this. If something happens, it's usually Yasuchika's or Ibuki's fault, let's just say that. ...Hmm?　You think I'm going to cause a scene?　I don't think so. Whenever I mess with you, it's always out of love, right?”

...............................

Latest News!! Kajiwara Kagetoki, the suspect has been caught red-handed. .....Huh?

Kagetoki: "Is this the last news? Well, let's end with a spectacular revelation. In fact, Yoritomo-sama looks like a *beep*, Shigehira is a *beep*, and Morinaga is a *beep*, excuse me, there seems to be some kind of regulated sound. And then came the breaking news. The suspect, Kajiwara Kagetoki, has been arrested. ...Huh?”

Kagetoki: "It seems that I am suspected of leaking confidential information. It is a shame that I am a whistleblower for the Shogunate. I am indeed a member of the Shogunate, but in this moment, I am a man who lives to report the truth. Don't worry, I will keep my revelations to a level that will avoid social extermination.”

Shigehira: "Nothing is safe!　Such an embarrassing secret of mine... I mean, why did Kagetoki-san know about that thing in the first place?　I'm afraid of his normal information gathering ability. Up until now, I've been able to rely on him because he's on my side, but I can't believe how troublesome he'll be if someone gets in his way...”

Yoichi: "Wow, this is interesting. I'd like to say ......, but I'm wondering when the target will turn on us. I'm sorry for Shigehira, but I'll pray that he doesn't get caught up in this. I'm sure he'll be happy to hear that.”

Yoritomo: "I told you to go make one last splash, but here you are. Now you are angry that Morinaga touched the glasses you dropped this morning with his bare hands and put his fingerprints on them. I'll forgive you if you want to take revenge on Morinaga personally. The only thing I don't understand is why you revealed it to me first.”

Morinaga: "Isn't it because Yoritomo-sama blew it out loud when I picked up his glasses?　But it seems that I was lucky enough to avoid being exposed. Oh, by the way, Kagetoki, here's an apology for you. Here are your new glasses!”

Kagetoki: "I will also request additional precious books from the Song Dynasty for Morinaga. ...Well, I guess it's time for me to finish. If my dog can wait properly, the news may come back to me again someday. You can wait until then, right?　--I'll see you back here someday.”

#ikemen series #ikemen genjiden #ikemen genjiden kagetoki #ikemen genjiden yoritomo #ikemen genjiden yoshitsune #ikemen genjiden morinaga #ikemen genjiden shigehira #ikemen genjiden tamamo #ikemen genjiden benkei #ikemen genjiden yoichi #ikemen genjiden kurama #ikemen genjiden sueharu #ikemen genjiden yasuchika #ikemen genjiden ibuki #ikemen genjiden akihito

[bunnirs]

Scarlet Crossroads

Chapter 4: Reasoning

Previous/Next:

Scarlet Crossroads Masterlist: Here

As you turned to face the upcoming crowd, some looked at you with wide eyes, their mouths left agaped. You merely snorted, rolling your eyes as you turned back around to face the marsh. It looked to be calm, forever sitting in silence. Of course, you can’t judge something based on it’s looks, so you were sure there was more to this biome than it let on. How exciting.

The grass behind you seemed to stir, the sound of small footsteps were gaining on you, obviously getting closer.

“Oh man! I was sure either me and Killua won that!” Gon complained, his voice loud and full of energy. He sounded defeated, but his smile said otherwise. Whatever the young boy was feeling, it was an enigma to you. To be rightfully honest, you could never get a grasp on what this kid was thinking, and that made it all the more scarier to you.

“Yeah, I didn’t even see you run past us.” He muttered, his fingers clenching into a fist. That small action didn’t go unnoticed by you. “You didn’t even make a sound.” Killua narrowed his eyes at you, obviously scrutinizing you from where he was standing. It seems you and Gon were alike in a way, almost unreadable to the point of irritation. It was obvious this boy was skeptical of you, and he had every right to think that way.

Of course you only smiled, a lazy one that looked avoid of any true emotion. “....Ah, sorry about that.” You responded, your hand coming up to scratch at the back of your neck. “I guess I got carried away.” You mused, looking over your shoulder to see the flushed faces of Kurapika and Leorio. They must have just arrived.

You waved your hand over to them, beckoning them over to the small circle the three of you had formed.

“Ah, Y/N, I was surprised to see you had vanished back there.” Kurapika said in relief, but you were sure it was just out of pure curiosity. “I’m glad to see you were just ahead.”

“Yeah! Way ahead!” Leorio practically yelled, his chest heaving as he was out of breath, his legs shaking slightly. “You didn’t even wait for the examiner! You just up and left, and you didn’t even bother to tell us!”

“I wasn’t aware I had to tell you everything.” You glanced at him, flashing him a kind smile as you held the strap of your small bag. “But I apologize.”

Your smile was enough to send this older teen into a frenzy, his hands covering his blushing face as he spewed profanities and stuttered sentences. This caused the surrounding crowd to glance at him, Gon and Killua slightly giggling at the display that was Leorio.

Kurapika only hummed, amusement lacing his expression. He was so soft looking, his blonde hair framing his face perfectly, his stone cold grey eyes balancing it all out. You were sure his smile alone could paralyze you were you stand, but that thought was quickly brushed out of your mind as a shrill scream echoed around you.

You looked towards the scream, your eyes landing on a man who was peeking around the exit of the underground tunnel you had just come out from. He seemed to have a frantic disposition, his arms waving about as he let out nonsense.

“Don’t trust him” and “I’m the real examiner” were the only words that had piqued your interest. This was unbelievable, and in all honesty, very pathetic of the Exam Committee. Was using deception the best way to weigh down the competition? Surely the others saw out of this trick as well?

To your dismay, it seems that some of the examinees were fooled by this insult to trickery, including Leorio.

This made you scoff, digging your heel into the ground as you placed your hands on your hips. It was obvious that with someone as skilled as Satotz, he was the real examiner. His aura was too big to bring you doubt, and you were sure that an examiner wouldn’t let someone knock them out and steal their role. It was painful to watch these men succumb to the nature of deceit, but at the same time, enjoyable.

It wasn’t long before someone else sought through this simple mindgame. Cards flew through the air, cutting it likes knives, the corners making contact with the sabotager’s body. The sound of piercing flesh was enough to draw you out of your thoughts, the familiar red liquid reaching your eyes as you watched the two-faced man fall.

The other cards had landed into the hands of Satotz, his eyes narrowing as they laid themselves on Hisoka’s form. He looked annoyed, but somehow relieved that someone took action in exterminating the pest.

Yes, that’s what that creature was. A pest. Someone who was in your way, acting as a stepping stone, someone that you could use.

To your discomfort, Hisoka’s pleasurable expression had made its way to you, his eyes locking with yours. His deep yellow hues were one with the color of piss, somehow fitting his personality perfectly. Gross.

You jerked your head to the side, refusing to look at him any longer. The very thought of him was enough to damage your mood, making you even more irritated.

Your agitation didn’t go unnoticed by your blonde comrade as he placed his hand on your shoulder, his fingers gently digging into your sleeve. The small display of platonic affection was enough to redden your cheeks, making you jump ever so slightly.

Your eyes met his, and for a moment everything stopped. The wind stopped flowing, the examiner stopped talking, it was as if everything disappeared. This feeling was something new, and the very thought startled you.

He slowly retracted his hand, almost as if he hadn’t meant to touch you in the first place. “I apologize.” He curtly said, his head turning back to Mr. Satotz, a slight blush resting among his face. “...You seemed out of it, and that’s not good when directions are being given.” His voice came out as calm, but you noticed the slight shake in his words. So he was feeling it too right…?

“Oh.” You mumbled, afraid of what would come out if you really spoke your thoughts. “...Thank you Kurapika.” A smile returned to your face, the same one you had given to his friends before.

“It’s of no issue to me, I'd gladly do it for anyone.” He pressed, his eyes looking out beyond the swamp. “Anyone I deem close I mean.”

This caused your eyes to grow wide, your hands frantically waving in front of your face. Your out of character response was enough to draw out a small chuckle from your blonde companion, his eyes softening as he looked over you.

“Hey you two! Quit being gross and let’s get going! We’re headed towards the second phase!” Leorio called out, waving his briefcase as he held it tightly in his hand.

Kurapika nodded, looking over to you as if he was checking if you were okay. What he saw was enough to confirm that thought.

You had a determined look in your eyes, your smile no lingering faltering, it was as if you weren’t afraid of anything ahead of you. Of course, this was true, but that wasn’t the reasoning behind your new upbeat attitude.

You had friends now, people who cared for your wellbeing, people who didn’t seem to worry about your background. The mere thought was foreign to you, but you were determined to keep it close. You had to keep them all safe. You had to.

SORRY FOR BEING LATE agaIN EWihiHFiWhdIHDio BUT hERE IT IS!!! THIS CHAPTER WAS MAINLY A STARTING POinT OF READER AND KURAPIKA’s FRIENDSHIPPPPP EWGIUFGWEUIFGIUWEGFIUEGFIU SHES NEVER FELT WANTED BY SOMEONE THAT WASN’T THE TROUPE SOOOO SHE SIMPINGGGG

TYSM GUYS!!! LOVE YOU ALL! COMMENT WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE NEXT!

#scarlet crossroads #hxh x reader #hunterxhunter x reader #hunter x hunter x reader #hxh imagine #hxh imagines #hunterxhunter imagine #hunterxhunter imagines #hunter x hunter imagine #hunter x hunter imagines #kurapika kurta #kurapika kurta x reader #kurapika x reader #lucilfer!reader #x reader #hunter x hunter #hxh #hunterxhunter #hisoka morow #gon freccs #killua zoldyck #leorio paladiknight #hxh series #hands are dying #hxh fanfic #SO CUTE UMM

[idkwhoiamanymorebutwtf]

Hazbin Hotel; Why are these people even in hell?

Okay, so like...I know why some of these people are in hell. Obviously. Katie Killyjoy is a homophobic, nasty, hateful bitch. Alastor was literally a serial killer. Charlie was born down here. However...I still have some questions.

Angel Dust isn't an amazing person, okay? He's fucked up. He's a bit of an asshole. However I hesitate on what landed him in hell. For example, he helped Cherri Bomb in her terf war, but was he violent in life or is this because of the climate of hell being so okay with violence that he kinda just picked it up after seventy or so years in hell? We can at least say his drug abuse and sex work were part of him when he was alive because while every character seems fine with violence in this show, not everyone is a drug abuser, and certainly not many people are sex workers, so we can gather that these things are part of Angel's actual personality and who he is rather than just things he picked up cause everyone else in hell is doing it. Charlie also lists sluts and drug abusers in her song of "we gonna redeem folks". So is that why he's in hell? Because if so it feels incredibly unfair to me. Neither of these things are terrible enough to warrant hell, surely?? And while they can make Angel a nicer person and take violence away from him and wean him off drugs, it seems like too much to force him to stop being as sexual as he is. And drug addiction isn't a terrible thing that you do it's a terrible thing that happens to you?? It just seems unfair.

I've always been under the impression that Vaggie was in hell for violent tendancies. But this, once again, could be due to the society they live in. And all in all she's a pretty good person besides that? So I cannot begin to fathom how she got herself into hell in the first place. I doubt she went around punching and threatening people in life since assault is illegal. And if she's here because she's so fiery...thats also unfair. It may not be the most flattering thing on a person, but everyone has flaws?? If Vaggie wasn't literally going at people I don't see the problem with her being snappy?!?

Husk. He's rude to Alastor but why wouldn't he be? Being grumpy isn't some huge sin. However Charlie in her song listed boozers as a group of people in hell. So we can kinda just assume he's here for his drinking.

Nifty hasn't done shit. Unless she's one of those cretins or losers Charlie mentioned? Which like..? Is a morally questionable reason to be in hell?

I've looked into that song more and more while making this post and the more I look at it the less I'm sure I agree with a lot of these things being legitimate reasons to go to hell. Obviously some fit- "cannibals, creeps, people who do ancient roman crucifixions, and thieves." However?? They also list off "junkies, freaks, fuck-ups, zeroes, sexual deviants, boozers, people who like cartoon porn, people who make vegan rants, sluts, and crying babies." Now uh..I don't even know what half of these entail? Like sexual deviants can be anyone ranging from hyper sexual people to pedophiles? And while some of the people on this spectrum belong in hell..others probably don't. Losers, fuck-ups, freaks, and weirdos aren't really categories of sinners and are moreso insults that make me feel bad for the people being called that? And they completely lose me on "sluts, junkies and boozers" like??? First of all, there's nothing inherently wrong with being sexually active, which is all a slut really is, and junkies and boozers are moreso victims of addiction than what I'd call sinners who deserve to be in hell.

However I don't just think this is the writers having bad morals. Because most of these things are considered sins in biblical text, which I find very important.

Let's focus on the main conflict of the plot. The reason Charlie is even opening her hotel. The yearly exterminations.

They need these exterminations because there's overpopulation in hell. Because they can't handle the sheer number of people being thrown into hell. Now, heaven isn't said to be overpopulated. And I doubt that heaven is exterminating their own people. This leads me to believe that much more people go to hell than to heaven. If you've ever watched The Good Place, something like that, where only the best of the best get into heaven and anyone whose done a thing wrong or that heaven thinks is wrong end up in hell.

I mean look at these faces. Do these look like the types of people who are gonna be happy to let the reformed sinners in? Do these look like kind reasonable people who care about moral nuance? No! These are people who are fine with genocide as long as the victims are morally 'below' them, and I feel like they're the real villains here. After all, Vivziepop herself said that none of the big bad demons we've seen are going to be the main villains of the series.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel theory #hh #angel dust #vaggie #charlie magne

[clownistyping]

The Neverending Story, Chapter 23

Uhhh Livius is fuckin annoying

First

Previous

Next

Cover by @laneygthememequeen

“Wake up.” The ghost mumbled as he hovered over Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice tightened his grip on your waist. He side eyed the ghost, grumbling he released you. 

A scar was horizontal on his nose and under his silver eyes, his head was shaved but had the remains of blonde, his skin pale shined in the sunlight. 

"Ya havin fun?" The ghost said and Beetlejuice stood, popping his back he ignored the ghost as he walked downstairs. 

"Hey, dickhead. Answer me." The ghost prodded at his side and Beetlejuice swatted at him, 

"What the fuck do you want?" Beetlejuice seethed, the ghost smirked. 

"Them." He nodded over to a framed photo of you, Beetlejuice shook his head and opened the fridge. Taking out the carton of orange juice he chugged straight from the carton. The ghost cringed, Beetlejuice wiped his mouth and put the carton up. 

"Why? Do they owe you something?" The ghost nodded, 

"Yup. My fucking life." Beetlejuice stared down the ghost, 

"Who are you?" The ghost smirked and floated into the library. Beetlejuice followed, glaring at the ghost as he threw books off the shelves. 

"Aha!" The ghost lifted a maroon book, throwing it to Beetlejuice who fumbled with the book. 

Opening it, the first page read, 

'Livius Durand.' Beetlejuice looked at the ghost in confusion. 

"You're an immortal?" 

"Correction, was an immortal. Before that sack of shit you called your lover killed me." Beetlejuice slammed the book shut. 

"You shut your mouth!" He yelled and threw the book at Livius. Livius cackled, 

"You fool! Falling for the living, much less an immortal is an idiotic thing to even think of!" 

Beetlejuice growled, "What would you know about love? You're a killer." 

"You are too, bud." Livius leaned onto Beetlejuice's shoulder, 

"We're just two peas in a pod. Two amigos, some good ole dead killers." Beetlejuice pushed the ghost away, 

"I am nothing like you." 

"Ya sure about that?" Livius pointed to the mirror, 

"We got a lot in common, pal." Beetlejuice stared at himself, 

"Both dead, both killed, both practically obsessed with (Y/N)." 

"What?" Beetlejuice growled at Livius, who squished his pale cheeks. 

"(Y/N), that lovely little immortal sleeping in their bed. They're a real beauty, good enough to possess." 

"You better fucking not!" Livius laughed again, 

"Who's gonna stop me? You? You can barely control yourself around them, I know you want to possess them too. I see the look in your eyes, the look of need." 

"No! It's different. I don't wanna be them." 

"What? You wanna be in them?" Livius teased, Beetlejuice blushed. Looking back at the book he threw, he picked it up. 

Livius floated around Beetlejuice as he opened the book. Turning to the last page he saw your name, left unmarked while the others were scratched out. 

"That's me." Livius pointed to his scratched name, 

"Handsome devil. Wouldn't you agree?" Beetlejuice ignored him and turned back to the front, skimming over the ghost's long life. 

"It doesn't have when you died in here." Livius shrugs, 

"Author didn't think I'd die. There's no endings in all of the books, he thought we'd all live till the end." Livius turned the pages to show hundreds of blank pages, 

"Left em blank, for me to write my days in." Beetlejuice looked at the shelf, seeing your book closed. 

Standing he put Livius's book down, Livius grabbed a nearby pen and wrote down. 

'Died by immortal blade, via bitch.' 

Beetlejuice came back with your book, glaring at Livius for what he wrote, he shut the book. 

Opening your book he smiled when he saw the sketch that was done of you. 

"Ew." 

"Fuck off." 

He skimmed your past, turning the pages he saw the handwriting change. The point of view changed to first and he smiled, it's your writing. 

'A ghost calling himself 'Beetlejuice' has invaded my home and life, am tempted to try to kill him again. Will test theory out one day.'

'I woke up to Beetlejuice making breakfast, pancakes. His pancakes has beetles. At Least he's helping exterminate them from my garden.' 

'Both of the immortal blades have been hidden in the chest, while I don't need to hide them. It relieves my fear of a stranger finding them and trying to kill me. If Beetlejuice finds them he will most likely try to eat them. More later.' 

Beetlejuice hums, you're not wrong, Livius from behind him reaches for the book and tears a page out. 

"Hey! What the fuck!?" Beetlejuice yelled as the ghost folded the paper into an airplane, he glared at the ghost and took the paper back. 

"Stop that." Beetlejuice seethed and Livius shrugged. 

"I was bored." 

Beetlejuice put the paper back into the book, closing it he put the book back on the shelf. Livius handed him his book and Beetlejuice was tempted to throw it in a fire. But he held back and put the book on the bottom shelf, far from yours. 

Glaring at Livius he left the library, the ghost turned invisible but followed as Beetlejuice headed towards the kitchen. 

He saw you sniffing the orange juice, chuckling you spoke. 

"Is this poisoned?" He nodded, 

"If you count me drinking from it then. Yes, it is poisoned." You stared at him as you set the carton on the counter, 

"Keep it." You fixed your own breakfast and Beetlejuice drank the rest of the juice. 

"I heard you in the library, talking to yourself again?" You asked as you ate, Beetlejuice nervously chuckled. 

"Something like that, yea." You rose a brow, 

"What, got a lover I don't know about?" His eyes widened, 

"Never!" Beetlejuice pulled you in for a hug, "Unless you count Audrey." He winked and you laughed, 

"Don't tell me you'll leave me for a plant." Beetlejuice kissed your head, 

"I'd never leave you for a plant." 

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#beetlejuice the animated series #beetlejuice the musical #beetlejuice imagines #beetlejuice x reader #beetlejuice #beetlegeuse

[caranfindel]

Recap/review 14.06: “Optimism”

THEN: Starts out pretty ominous, with clock-ticky music, Jack's grace getting sucked out, "this is the end of everything," and Jack considering himself useless. We're reminded that New Charlie exists (aw, Dean looked so pretty in AU Land) and Jack has "the mind of a hunter." Michael hurting people and Dean feels guilty (aw, Sam's Beard of Despair, how I miss you). Sounds like we're in for a real downer of an episode, friends.

NOW: Nebraska. Happy music. A cheerful librarian opens up shop, and she's cute as can be but I wore that blouse in the 80s and it needs to stay there (JUST SAY NO TO THE RUFFLED YOKE, LADIES). Her name is Harper, and she has a kind-of-date with a guy named Winston tonight, though she is clearly Not Into You, Winston. An (apparent) coworker named Miles hears her "scream" and comes to her aid, brandishing a stapler, and is reminded that he needs to mind his own business. Winston leaves, clearly walking on air, and then STAYIN' ALIVE STARTS PLAYING and we focus on Winston's feet just like the iconic opening scene of Saturday Night Fever (if you're too young to remember, watch this, IT'S IMPORTANT CULTURAL KNOWLEDGE and there WILL BE A QUIZ LATER) and y'all don't even know how much I love this song. YOU DON'T KNOW. I can't help it. My mom was a huge Bee Gees fan, partially because she was very into Barry Gibb.

Coincidence?

What can I say? I am my mother's child.

Now, where were we?

(Pretty much where we always are, so could you please just move this along?)

Sorry for the digression. Anyway. Now I suspect this isn't going to be a downer episode after all. (Turns out it was directed by Richard Speight, which would have been a clue if I'd known that earlier, bless him.) While I've been digressing, Winston has happily bopped down the street, only to have a hand cover his mouth and drag him off-screen. There's a record scratch and a squirt of dark goo and a scream, so I guess it did turn out to be a downer for Winston, but not for me.

Title card!

{Sidebar: I didn't realize Saturday Night Fever was directed by John Badham, who went on to direct several episodes of Supernatural.}

Jack's drinking coffee in the bunker. He takes a sip and then pours a huge amount of sugar into it, which immediately makes me think of this scene from The Fly when Jeff Goldblum, who does not yet realize that he is turning into a fly, does the same thing.

(Spoiler alert: Ahem.)

Dean walks in and asks what he's doing, and Jack explains that everything tastes different without his powers, and he can't get the coffee to taste the way he likes it. That's because coffee is nasty, Jack. (And also, thanks to the Continuity Fairy for remembering that food tasted different to Cas when he didn't have grace.) Dean asks if Jack has seen Sam, because that's what Dean does; he probably walked in the door and felt a disturbance in the Force and realized he didn't know where Sam was. From Jack, we learn that (1) Dean went on an overnight run to Mobby's love shack cabin and (b) Sam went on a hunt with Charlie without telling Dean. Is Dean okay with this? Are we gonna okay with this? Couldn't he have at least sent a text message? He's supposed to be setting an example!

"Explain to me again how you just let Sam LEAVE."

I guess Sam had to go himself, rather than send someone else, because this is one of those times when there's no random hunters in the bunker. (And where's Rowena? Did Charlie abandon her in the Southwest? Did they have a fight?) Jack imagines Sam and Charlie are doing something "really exciting."

Cut to Sam and Charlie sitting quietly in a truck outside Memphis, bored out of their minds. Hee! It's the kind of crappy old truck I always want Sam to drive, so I love it. They're staring at a bus stop with an ad for Pete the Pestinator, who seems to be an insect exterminator. (Spoiler alert: ahem again.) Sam confirms that "this is where all those people went missing," although if he's been sitting in that truck long enough to be bored, he really should have nailed that down by now. Charlie says "yep." More silent sitting.

Back to the bunker. Dean seems surprised that Sam left Jack there alone (where's Cas?) and Jack says "Sam wanted someone around when you came back. He's worried about you."

"Yeah, that sounds like him," Dean grumbles, and hello, kettle, the pot just called, and said you're black. Jack offers some encouragement, telling him no one blames him for Michael, and Dean says "Cool. Well, I blame me, so." His self-flagellation is interrupted by Jack's Cough of Great Concern. "Maybe I'm allergic to sitting around doing nothing," Jack snarks.

Dean sits down for a heart-to-heart, and Jack says he's been hunting with Cas and wants to do more. Dean says "No offense, Cas is an insurance policy on those hunts." Jack looks hurt. I don't understand this at all. Why wouldn't Jack already know that Cas is there to protect him? And why would this hurt his feelings? I'm so confused. But I immediately forget it, because Dean says "Sam's just trying to keep you safe, okay? He's a smart guy." AND THEN WE CUT TO THIS.

Bless you, Richard Speight, writer Steve Yockey, bless you both.

I literally did burst out laughing at Sam and his fidget spinner. Charlie is not amused, and Sam puts his toy away with some embarrassment.

Bunker. Jack's found a report on our dead friend Winston, who seemed to have human bitemarks taken out of his corpse. And others have gone missing in the area. We skip part of a conversation, but whatever it was, Dean says Sam won't like it. "Sam's not here," says Jack. Oh, no you don't, Jack. Don't you go ignoring the Chief's directives just because he's not here. Dean says he'll go check it out alone, but Jack suddenly remembers Sam's Law and reminds Dean about the Buddy System.

We can be hunting buddies!

Okay, uh, (a), don't call it that, and (b), YOU'RE gonna back ME up?

Oh, Dean. You didn't do the (1) and (b) thing that I love so much. Jack gets to be the one to bare a little bit of his soul now, telling Dean that he also feels guilty about Michael, because he could have killed him but he was "distracted and stupid." He doesn't want to sit around feeling guilty all day, he wants to hunt.

Looks like that was the right button to push, because we cut to Sam on the phone, clearly not a fan of the plan and telling Dean to be careful. I assume his reluctance is because he doesn't trust Jack to watch Dean's back. But Sam, if you can trust Maggie to hunt alone, you can trust Dean with a novice backup. (I know, I know, Dean is more important than Maggie.)

Sam asks again if Charlie is sure this is the right place, and she says it's where four people disappeared. And while she was scouting around, she found a mason jar full of goo. Is this the same goo we saw when Winston was killed? (Spoiler alert: no.) And now she's trying to figure out what they're hunting, so she's reading. I'd have done my reading before the stakeout, but that's just me. (I'd also have done some reading instead of sitting there glaring at Sam while he enjoyed his fidget spinner, but that's also just me.)

(I also might have thought of more interesting things to do while I was stuck in a car with Sam, but they would have interfered with the stakeout. And they aren't anything Charlie would have been interested in anyway.)

Cut to Dick's Red Rooster Diner (ha ha, I see you, Speight). According to Winston's obituary, he had breakfast here every morning. Jack agrees with me that it's an odd thing to put in an obituary, but Dean says that when someone dies young, you don't know what to put in those things. (Oh, think of 20-something Dean's obituary.) He introduces them to the waitress as Agents Berry and Charles, and the only thing I can think of is Chuck Berry, so if someone has a better idea, let me know. He asks for details about Winston, and the only detail she can provide is that he's dead. Jack dutifully writes that detail in his little notebook. (BLESS.)

This waitress is wonderfully snippy, knows her rights, and isn't the least bit interested in talking to these FBI agents, but when Dean hands her some cash she changes her mind. She says they should should be more interested in Harper, who Winston just started "courting," and Jack is confused.

What's courting?

It's what you do before you start dating.

Ah, and that's the thing you do before the sex.

Sometimes you just have the sex.

Okay, Dean's wrong, courting is what you do instead of dating, but this is still a wonderful exchange. And the next part is wonderful too, cutting between the waitress and some customers explaining that Harper was popular in high school, but her boyfriend ran off, and now all these men connected to her have died, and she's really into romance books, and ending on I've heard too much Dean and I'm confused Jack.

Love this.

Back at the stakeout, Sam's biting his nails, which I also love for some reason, and of course the only time we've ever seen him bite his nails was when he was worried about Dean. New Charlie picks right up on it. She tells him Dean will be fine, and comments that he's got other friends, right? Which I don't understand, because it doesn't matter what other friends he has, he's not hunting with them. He's hunting with Jack. "He used to have a pretty damn good wingman," Sam says, and I think no, Sam, what are you saying, he still has you. She says he should call "that guy" to check on him, and Sam says "that guy was you." Charlie gives him a look. "No, it wasn't." And she's right, Sam. SHE IS NOT YOUR CHARLIE. And also, was Charlie ever really Dean's wingman? I don't think so. Sam, of course. Cas, literal wingman. But not Charlie. Charlie was the little sister.

Sam apologizes, and then says "I'm just saying, I'm not surprised you survived the apocalypse." Which isn't what you were saying at all, Sam. Charlie is surprised she survived, because she was just a programmer at Richard Roman Enterprises (Dick Roman! I wonder what happened to your AU version), living with the love of her life, Cara. My heart skipped a beat because I was so ready, guys, for the love of Charlie's life to be Dr. Cara Roberts from Sex and Violence, but apparently not. {Sidebar fic prompt: Sam. Charlie. Dr. Cara. Three-way.) Charlie's Cara was a baker. Charlie tells a sad story about waiting for help that never came, and Cara eventually being killed by people, not angels. Society falls apart. (Or, as Dean once said, demons I get; people are crazy.) Sam insists society isn't falling apart here, and Charlie says "not yet."

Just like last week, we're getting some needed differentiation between the characters we lost and their AU counterparts, which I appreciate.

I also appreciate pretty, attentive, sympathetic Sam.

Diner. Dean calls Jack "Mighty Mouse," for some reason, and congratulations him on finding a case. He tries to teach him about the importance of pie, but Jack's more interested in courting. He's never been exposed to off-screen romance, unless Gabriel and Rowena counts (Dean assures him it doesn't, but how would Jack have been exposed to Gabriel/Rowena anyway, since it happened while he was in AU Land and Gabriel didn't make it back?) Dean promises he'll give him The Talk when they get back, but right now they need to concentrate on finding Harper. {Sidebar fic prompt: Dean's and Sam's versions of The Talk. Would Dean's be like Dean's speech from Rock and a Hard Place?} Jack speculates she might not be human, and Dean says they're going to find out, and it's going to work like a romance novel. Hmm!

Cut to the library, where Harper is working. Dean enters and identifies himself as FBI, with questions about Winston. She doesn't want to talk, and he pushes. Then Jack shows up, asking for a book about the area's history, and defends her against the big mean FBI guy. Dean says "why don't you back off, kid" and Jack responds "No, you back off, old man" and DEAN'S FACE. This was clearly NOT IN THE SCRIPT. I love it. Dean slinks off, dejected, to examine his gracefully-aging face in the rear-view mirror. {Sidebar: I honestly think Jensen is aging a lot better than Dean is. Dean looks tired a lot of the time, and I'd like to believe Show is doing that on purpose, but I don't think it's the case. Jensen always looks awesome.} Harper is delighted, and apparently smitten, judging by the music. Jack introduces himself as "Jack Smith" and she invites him to her apartment, where she has the perfect book.

Why does this library have those convenience store perp measurements at the door? Does it get robbed a lot? Also, how many episodes have signs in the background with the title of a different episode? Not very many, I'm guessing.

As they leave, Miles the Stapler Guy follows and asks where she's going. It must be close to closing time, because Harper says she'll come back and lock up. Miles, who's carrying a bag of trash, refuses to shake Jack's hand. As Jack and Harper go one way, he stomps off in the other direction. I'm suspicious, and so is Dean, who gets out of the car to follow him. As Miles puts the library's trash in an inappropriately small residential bin, he hears a noise. We then cut to Dean, who hears Miles scream but just keeps walking? But then a trash can is knocked over and that gets his attention. He finds Miles dead, and we get a monster POV shot watching him.

Stakeout. Charlie's still reading. Apparently she brought all the books. She says she hates hunting, which surprises Sam, because she's so good at it. She points out that she's good at it because the alternative was death. "I mean, no offense, but who wants to be a hunter? This job, just a lot of tears and death."

Sam says "you said something like that to me once, long ago, about hunting." He quickly apologizes for once again conflating her with Our Charlie. At first I was annoyed at him, but then I started thinking about how awful Our Charlie's death was for him, with the MoC, and the fear, and the worry, and the guilt, and his brother saying he should be the one on the funeral pyre instead, and you know what? I'm gonna cut him some slack for trying to forget all of that ever happened. A lot of slack, in fact.

Charlie casually drops that she's glad this is her last hunt. Did you give the Chief your two week's notice, Charlie? I DON'T THINK SO. She plans to get away from monsters and people, and "live on a mountaintop or something... as long as there's good wifi." I'm sure Sam can get you set up with his magical wifi, Charlie, if you stay on his good side.

Harper's apartment. She seems to be all about love, with a decorative "amore" sign in the kitchen and a big red heart hanging on the wall. She suddenly realizes it's weird that she brought him to her apartment, though she's thinking "putting the moves on you" weird and I'm thinking "inviting a potential serial killer into your home" weird. But maybe I listen to too much My Favorite Murder.

She leaves the room to get the book (odd that it's not on the stuffed bookshelves in her living room, but they're all full of romance novels). Jack asks why the FBI was "hassling" her, and she tells him about Winston's death as he surreptitiously puts a silver coin on the floor and splashes holy water all over his hands. A call comes from Dean, but he ignores it. When she comes back with the book, she notices the coin on the floor and picks it up. She touches his hand when she gives him the coin and notices that it's wet. I would have put the holy water on the coin, although a wet coin on the floor might be as weird as wet hands. He just laughs weirdly and then does a fake cough AND SAYS CHRISTO. SOMEONE FINALLY REMEMBERED CHRISTO. Oh, my heart. I've been waiting 13 years for this moment. She doesn't react to it, so she seems pretty human. He says he's nervous, so she sits on the couch and pats the seat next to her.

Stakeout. Charlie has found something in the books called a Musca. Sam already knows it's a man-fly hybrid (IT'S THE FLY; OUR MONSTER IS JEFF GOLDBLUM) and that no one's seen them, so if they do exist, they keep to themselves. She's impressed with his Sammy smarts. He says he's read all the books, but if he'd read this one, he'd know that every few hundred years a male Musca can't find a mate and he "abandons his community and starts using people's bodies to nest, binding them together with a viscous goo." Ew.

As they walk, in the background we see a figure approaching the two women who are sitting on the bus stop bench. It's clothed in black, carrying a black briefcase, and it has a giant head. At first I think it's literally a giant fly's head. But when Charlie notices it, we get a closer look, and it's a large black hood, like a beekeeper's outfit. It sits down and then casually scoots closer to the women, who scoot away, and it's hilarious.

Harper's apartment. She asks Jack where he's from, and he tells her he lives in Lebanon, Kansas. NO, JACK. DON'T TELL ANYONE WHERE YOU LIVE. Jack coughs some more and then notices a picture of Harper with her boyfriend, Vance. She says he left town after high school because he wanted to see the world, and Jack seems astonished that anyone would leave her. And that was when her bad luck started, but she tries to stay optimistic. "Me too," Jack says. "I had some not-so-great stuff happen in my past. Trying to be positive... it can be hard." Oh, Jack, sweetie. They gaze into each other's eyes and it looks like they're going to kiss. Jack's phone buzzes with a text from Dean that says CALL ME NOW.

Jack? Do you believe in love at first sight?

Do you... (music swells)... mind if I use the bathroom?

Ha!

Jack hides in the bathroom to call Dean. He tells him Harper isn't a monster, and he thinks she's in love with him. Although Dean's sure that's not the case, Jack says "but if she is, I need to know everything about sex. Go." Ha again! Dean tells him about Miles's death, which makes Jack wonder if she's cursed. Dean says it's more like all the guys around her are cursed. "Like me," Jack ponders, just before we get another monster POV shot and a strangled shout from Dean. The phone goes dead.

Jack comes back into the living room and Harper asks if he's okay and if he wants to go for coffee. Then the door bursts open and Dean comes in, and I wonder why she's freaking out until I remember that Dean is Bad FBI Guy to her. He quickly blocks the door and tell her they're here to save her from... whatever it is that's suddenly growling and banging on her door. "At first I thought it was a ghost," he says, "but then it punched me in the face." She's freaked out about a ghost, but Jack reassuringly (NOT!) tells her that he's saying it's NOT a ghost. Dean recognizes a photo and it turns out the monster is her old boyfriend Vance, who she didn't even realize was dead.

For some reason Dean isn't carrying a lot of weapons, but he has a silver knife and finds a silver letter opener on Harper's desk. Silver will slow it down, he tells them, but there's only one way to kill the undead boyfriend. Vance breaks the door down before we learn what that is. Dean starts fighting with the silver knife and tells Jack to get Harper out of there.

Stakeout. It's nighttime now. A lone man sits at the bus stop as Sam tries to convince Charlie that she can't drop out of society. She needs people, and also, it's hard to walk away from being a hunter. "I tried. Our Charlie tried." You know, for someone who did want out of hunting, and did try to get out of it, Sam spends a lot of time convincing others to do it, or at least enabling them. I mean, Dean was all "Patience, if you can live a normal life, do it," and Sam was all "well, Claire, if you're gonna hunt, I guess I should show you how to hack." Although that (and teaching Ghoul!Adam to shoot) was more about protecting someone determined/forced to be a hunter than recruiting. So maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. Anyway, if anyone recognized the futility of getting out of the life, it would be him.

Jeff Goldblum shows up again and sits by his next victim. Charlie wants to go for the kill, but Sam thinks they should wait for him to make his move, in case he's just into weird fashion. Look, Sam, if a guy likes wearing a black beekeeper's bonnet and sidling up to random strangers at bus stops, he deserves to be hunted, whether or not he's actually part bee. When the bus shows up, it blocks their view of the duo. When it leaves, the bench is empty. Which could mean they just got on the bus, but we see something disappearing behind the stop. Sam decides it's a go after all.

Let's stick with this story, rather than cutting back and forth between them like the show did.

Sam and Charlie find a door with a bunch of goo on the handle. Sam says Charlie found something in the books that theorized a brass nail dripped in sugar water would kill a musca. Because yes, of course sugar water, WHICH FLIES EAT, would kill a fly man. (Rolls my eyes at this otherwise delightful episode.) Charlie reminds him they have neither of those things. "So we get creative," Sam says. I'm expecting some kind of MacGuyvering involving a can of Coke, or Sam's sugary coffee. (Spoiler alert: I'm wrong.)

{Sidebar: Why are all the methods of killing monsters so weirdly specific? Chopping off the head should kill ANYTHING.}

They go through the door, which surprisingly leads them into an abandoned warehouse. It's full of flies (normal ones, not half-man flies) and smells like pine cleaner and rotting meat. Yum. Eventually Sam finds the briefcase, which is full of what looks like candy wrappers and also has a white cloth, which he sniffs to discover chloroform. Dude. Don't sniff the chloroform rag. Charlie finds the most recent victim, still alive, by a pile of bodies. Something grabs Charlie's hand. She pulls loose, but falls off a low platform (seriously, it's like two feet high) and... loses consciousness? Okay. Maybe he chloroformed her and I missed it. I'm old and decrepit and this would have barely bruised me. He must have chloroformed her.

Sam tries to wake her up, but is interrupted by the WORST MONSTER COSTUME EVER. Oh god, you guys, this fly man head is so bad. SO BAD.

{Sidebar: Did you know that you don't see much of the shark in Jaws because the model was so bad, Steven Spielberg decided he wanted to shoot it as little as possible? And it actually made the movie better because the unseen monster was so much scarier? Just saying, Speight.}

(Um, have you watched any movies that were made before 1980?)

Well, that was uncalled for.

Jeff Goldblum attacks Sam and gets goo on him, and if this were really a fly, wouldn't that goo be digesting him? Isn't that how flies eat? (Why yes, it is.) Charlie regains consciousness and stabs it with something, which gets it off Sam long enough for him to shoot it in the head. Creativity in action! So, I guess I got my wish. Interesting that, just like last week, the guys figured out that there are actions that will kill anything.

Aftermath! Charlie and Sam are driving, and Sam says he feels bad for the Musca, which could have been happy if it had stayed home with its people. Subtle, Sam. Charlie's all, yeah, okay, I'm like the bug, except not so much. As we see the Musca family coming to retrieve their brother's body, Sam asks Charlie not to leave. "If we help people, then maybe they'll help people, and all that, and that's worth it. Even with all the tears and death, it's worth it." Oh, Sammy. {sniff} She says she'll think about it.

Back to Jack and Harper. It was broad daylight when they got to her apartment, so I don't know why it's nighttime now. How long did he spend in the bathroom? No wonder she asked if he was okay. Cut to Dean gleefully fighting the zombie, who suddenly stops fighting and runs off.

Jack and Harper run to the library, where she struggles with the keys until Jack remembers she left without locking the door. They scurry inside and he locks it. As they hide behind the counter, they see Zombie Vance run by. Jack tells her not to worry, because he locked the door, and she asks if he flipped the switch under the lock? Obviously he didn't, and she goes to do it herself. As she stands, looking out the door, Vance shows up. She unlocks the door, which Jack obviously DID lock, and opens it. He hands her the history book - I guess Jack dropped it - and they kiss.

Um. whoops. Vance is actually still Harper's boyfriend. And he has to eat human flesh. Like, Jack's, for example. Vance lunges for Jack, who hides in the stacks as Harper gives him the villain dialogue over the library's PA system. She likes Jack, but he's obviously a hunter, and she comes from a long line of necromancers, so it would never work out between them. She killed Vance to keep him from leaving after high school, and killing every other guy in her sights is just a fun little romantic roleplay for them. We get a little scare when a hand appears on Jack's shoulder (been a lot of that going around lately), but it's Dean. He tells Jack they have to get Vance back into his grave and then drive a stake into his heart to keep him there. And they're going to convince him using another romance novel method.

Jack tells her he wants to do things Vance can't do - walk her down the aisle, raise a family. This draws Vance out, who lunges at him but finds himself facing Dean. Vance gets Dean against a wall, and Harper calls out to him. Dean thinks she's going to call him off, but she says "Baby, kill him!" and Dean's "huh" look is precious to me. Instead, Dean slaps a handcuff on his arm and cuffs him to a pole or something. Jack cuffs his other arm to a library cart, I think, which is mobile and therefore defeats the purpose of cuffing, but good try, Jack. The cuffs burn Vance, so they're silver or enchanted or something. Seems like a successful hunt, but when the guys look up, the door is open and Harper is gone.

Later we see Harper and her suitcase at a cafe, writing a letter to Jack. So she had time to go home and pack a suitcase, and Dean and Jack didn't go to her apartment and look for her? Guys. Come on. She's sorry she's going to have to kill Jack, but it means she can bring him back to life and they'll be together forever. See you soon, she writes, sealing the envelope addressed to Jack Smith, c/o the Lebanon, Kansas post office. I TOLD YOU NOT TO LET HER KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE, JACK. Is Harper going to be a Big Bad this season? Or maybe a Little Bad? I wouldn't mind seeing her again. She's a charming little villain.

Finally, Jack's drinking coffee again, probably with a lot of sugar, in the bunker. This scene, with them facing each other, is a nice callback to the beginning of the episode. Dean tells Jack he did good, and Jack pushes for more hunts, because he was right. It's not about being right, Dean tells him, it's about what you do after you're wrong, after you've made a mistake. And about not beating yourself up, Jack points out. Dean tells him he's pretty smart, and Jack smiles and coughs and Dean promises to talk about getting him on more hunts when Sam gets back (BECAUSE SAM IS THE ONE TO ASK, YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT) and Jack lies about being fine and then coughs some more and shows Dean his bloody palm and collapses on the floor with blood oozing from his mouth and nose and WELL. THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY.

And the episode ends, without Sam and Dean sharing a single scene. Has that happened before? It's unsettling. I like the ep, though. I liked the relationship focus - Sam bonding with New Charlie, Dean bonding with Jack. I liked the humor. I liked that Sam wasn't ignored, even though the brothers had separate storylines. I liked the continuation of things that have been happening this season, the gentle reminder (but not constant siren) of Dean's guilty feelings and Sam's leadership and Jack's issues. And, of course, CHRISTO!

And there was one weird thing I noticed on first watch, but it didn't jump out at me on rewatch so I don't remember when it happened... Dean said "Son of a B." This is the second episode where they said something weird instead of bitch. What's going on there? Is Dean never going to say "son of a bitch" again? Because that's not good.

What did you guys think? And please help me stay unspoiled; thanks!

#spn #14.06 #tv recaps #recap #spoilers