#but idk it’s just my feelings. I like when things are more believable

[wintrwinchestr]

an overture of indulgence (joel miller x f!reader oneshot) 18+

summary: it's been a long time since you've seen joel, and some things have changed, but a lot has stayed the same. namely, how quickly he can still get you on his knees for him, ready to show him exactly just how much you like what has changed about him.

warnings: 18+, smut, post-outbreak, jackson joel, d/s relationship dynamics, pet names (baby, babygirl, sweetheart, sweet girl, etc), body worship, belly kink, talk of weight gain, belly riding, m/f masturbation, lil bit of humiliation kink, lil bit of edging, reader is an adult but age otherwise unspecified, reader is shorter than joel and has hair long enough to grab, let me know if i missed anything :)

word count: 4.3k

a/n: just fuckin outing myself left and right these days huh. idk what came over me with this one. started this late last night and here it is now. belly enjoyers rise!!!!!!! nice comments/reblogs appreciated if you enjoyed <3 you can't kink shame me bc i like getting bullied so now what. also i avoided daddy kink for once in my life please clap. i know i’m spoiling y’all this weekend don’t get used to it.

divider by @saradika

“...Joel?!” you shout, your leisurely walking pace quickly turning into a hurried jog as you leave Tommy behind, making a beeline toward the man you would swear on your life is Joel Miller. A small handful of years ago now, he was kind of your boyfriend, kind of not, kind of something else more complicated and unlabeled, because who can afford to put a label on anything in times like these?

Joel’s head turns in your direction at the sound of his name, and as soon as you spot that crooked scar across the bridge of his nose, you’re certain it’s him.

“Holy shit, I can’t believe it,” you half-cry, throwing your weight into him as you wrap him in a tight embrace. He’s much taller than you, but you still managed to knock him off his balance a little. He envelops your whole body in one of his signature, all-encompassing hugs, and it’s like no time has passed at all.

The two of you had ended whatever it was you had on good terms, no hard feelings or animosity shared between you. It was just hard to maintain any kind of relationship in a world like this, and trying to nurture romance in the Boston QZ was much like trying to grow a rose garden in toxic, radioactive soil. You can put as much care and effort and something like love into it as you have in you, but the circumstances will just never allow it to reach its full potential. The end of your “relationship” was mutual, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. Especially when he had disappeared one day without so much as saying goodbye.

When you had stumbled upon Tommy and a group of patrollers in the snowy forest outside Jackson just earlier today, you were alone, tired, and losing hope that this rumored safe haven even existed at all. You had heard crackles through the radio in the QZ about the community, and even though it sounded too good to be true, what else did you have to lose anymore? After months of travel and survival and pain and hunger, you’d never been so happy to meet a bunch of strangers in the woods in your whole life. You didn’t hesitate to get on the back of Tommy’s horse, and let him lead you to the sanctuary they spoke of.

As he was giving you a tour, proudly showing off their electricity, running water, fresh food, and clean houses, you had started to look forward to what the future may bring, for the first time in a long time. You could never have imagined you’d ever run into Joel again, that this is where he had ended up, of all places. And now here the both of you are, bodies pressed as tightly together as possible, breathing in each other’s familiar scents and never wanting to let go again.

Joel is the first to break the embrace, grasping your head in his large hands and frantically searching your face for any sign that he could be dreaming, that fate hasn’t really brought you back together again after all.

“Jesus Christ, it’s really you,” he breathes, and you swear his voice breaks just a little bit as he presses his lips to your forehead, closing his eyes as he does.

When he blinks them open again, he meets Tommy’s gaze, who’s standing quietly a few yards back from where you’re having your sentimental reunion. Tommy gives an understanding nod, and gestures that he’ll be waiting inside the community’s dining hall, gathering that whatever this is happening between his brother and some girl he only just met, he shouldn’t interrupt. Joel is grateful for many things today, one of them being the rekindled bond he has with Tommy, the other being how you somehow miraculously found your way back to him.

Small groups of other Jackson residents follow Tommy into the dining hall shortly afterward, and as the sun begins to set behind the mountains, Joel realizes it must be about time for dinner to be served.

He detaches his lips from your forehead, brushing some of your hair away from your face as he takes you in again. “You poor thing, must be starvin’ I bet,” he wonders aloud, giving you a sympathetic look.

“Kinda always am, just as a rule, but yeah,” you reply, trying to make light of your situation. Though, Joel doesn’t seem to find the humor in it the way you do.

“Long as you stay here, ain’t ever gotta worry about that again, that’s for damn sure.” He runs his tongue across his lips as he finishes his sentence, already knowing that whatever meal they’re serving tonight, it’ll be some of the most delicious food he’s had in a long time. He suspects you’ll feel much the same. “C’mon, let’s get you inside. Get you warm and fed for once in your life.”

–

Your heart, your stomach, your soul, all feel full as you relax into the comfortable couch in the living room of Joel’s cozy home. He wouldn’t even entertain the idea of you staying in an empty house all by yourself tonight, insisting that if you’d like some company while you settle in, you were more than welcome to his. He had let you spend as long as you wanted to in his shower, and he didn’t mind if there was hardly any warm water left by the time you were done. He sure as hell wasn’t paying the bill, and you deserved to feel truly clean. He can remember clear as day how he felt after his first Jackson shower, like he had stripped off a layer of grime he hadn’t been able to scrub all the way clean in twenty years. He had gone to Maria to get you some clothes and underwear while you were bathing, and set them silently on the sink counter for you to put on whenever you were done.

And now here you sit, feeling full and clean and satisfied and comfortable and safe, watching Joel stoke the logs in his fireplace as it casts the whole room in a honey orange glow. You take a moment to admire him while he isn’t looking, and even in the dim and flickering lighting, you can see he’s just as handsome as he was the last time you saw him. He looks older, with more gray in his longer hair and meat on his bones, the latter trait likely due to years worth of the hearty cooking you both indulged in tonight. He looks… good like this.

“It really is nice to see you again, you know. You look…” you start, not being able to help the way your eyes wander to his soft lower belly, the way it pushes taut against his tucked-in flannel shirt and just barely spills over the edge of his jeans.

He turns his head away from the fire to face you. You’re not very subtle in your staring, and he knows what you’re referring to right away. He huffs a light chuckle, trying to brush off the way he thinks you’re poking fun at him.

“I know, I know,” he acknowledges, placing a hand on his stomach. “Been tryin’ to get Maria to give me some more patrol shifts, see if I can get some of the weight off. But hey, you try havin’ three square meals a day for the first time in twenty some odd years, see what it does to you, huh?” He pivots his attention back to the fireplace, and he seems to turn his body further away from you on purpose, so that you can’t see the round profile of his tummy as much.

“No! No, it, um… It suits you. I was gonna say you look good, actually.” You’re quick in your reply, trying to make it clear that you didn’t mean to offend him, without letting too much on. 

He scoffs. “C’mon, you don’t gotta flatter me, sweetheart. I know I don’t exactly look the way you remember–”

“Joel, will you stop?” you interrupt, your voice laced with exasperation. “I’m being serious. Do I look like I’m making fun of you?”

He cranes his neck to look back at where you’re perched on the couch, and gives you a once over. “Guess not… Look a lil’ like somethin’ else, though, if I'm bein’ honest,” he says with a teasing smirk. And there he is again, the same quick-witted Joel you remember from back in the QZ.

You choose to engage in his banter, just to see where he’s going with it. “Oh yeah? And what’s that?”

He shrugs, beginning to mindlessly poke at the firewood again. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you look like you might like it.”

He’s just kidding around with you, trying to rile you up, you’re sure. But when he gets silence in return instead of the sound of you jumping to defend yourself with another playful jab, he turns to face you once more, and is met with your stunned expression. 

“Oh…” Joel looks down at himself, then back to you again, just in time to catch your eyes flitting from his middle back up to his face. “What, you like ‘em big, sweetheart? ‘S that it?”

The truth is, you do, you always have. It was never a requirement, of course, as the guys you’d been with before Joel all had varying body types. But you’d be lying to yourself if you said that your eyes didn’t linger just a bit longer on guys with a little more to them, with wider arms and thicker legs and a softer middle. You’ve never admitted your preference to anyone before, and Joel calling you out on it now has your face running hot, skin feeling prickly as he sees through you like you’re made of glass.

“I-I don’t– I mean, I do, kinda, but not like that… Well, it is like that, I just mean–” You stumble over yourself, fearing you’ve revealed too much, wishing you could rewind the conversation and just tell him it was nice to see him again, plain and simple.

Joel lays the fire poker down on the granite ledge of the fireplace, approaching where you’re sitting and cupping the side of your face with his calloused hand. 

“Sh, sh, stop, baby. ‘S alright if you do, nothin’ to be ashamed of,” he comforts, and it takes all the willpower you have left not to let your eyes drift down to his stomach, so close you could kiss it, if he’d let you.

“It’s just… I missed you. I thought about you all the time, wondered what ever happened to you after you left. Didn’t even know if you were alive until today. I’m just happy to see you… doing so well. To see that you’re healthy, and everything.” You swallow hard, hoping you sound convincing enough that he’ll let this go, forget all about your little admission just now. But of course, Joel is as stubborn as he’s ever been, and he doesn’t plan on releasing you from his trap now that you’re ensnared in it. 

“That’s sweet, baby, ‘s real sweet,” Joel says, softly, stroking his thumb across your cheekbone as he speaks. “Thought about you too, all this time. Practically every day…” He rakes his eyes over you, noticing the way his touch has you starting to melt already, how you’re looking up at him with your wide, needy eyes. “Why don’t you show me just how much you missed me, hm? How much you love seein’ me healthy, as you put it.”

You’re stunned into silence once again, jaw slack and pupils wide as you search his gaze for proof that he’s just messing with you, making fun of you just to watch you squirm. But you don’t find any.

“O-okay,” you agree in a half-whisper.

Joel smiles down at you, satisfied. “All these years later, still just the sweetest thing, ain’t you? You still just as obedient, too?”

You nod without even thinking, words catching up with your instinctual response a second later. “Mhm, yeah, I am…” You had forgotten how easy it is to submit to him, how good it feels to let the hypnotizing tone of his voice carry you somewhere far away from yourself, when you need it the most. Whether it was after a shitty day of working for shittier rations in the QZ, or after a harsh trek in harsher weather to a forested oasis, Joel always knows how to make you feel like submission is your most natural state. 

“Good… Kneel for me please, sweetheart,” he commands, and you obey immediately, his hand slipping from your face as you slide from the couch onto the woven carpet beneath you. Like second nature, your hands automatically fold themselves on your lap, remembering how you were never to touch Joel until he permitted you to. He takes note of this, and praises you accordingly. “Look at that, didn’t even have to ask. Such a good girl.”

He’s so enamored with you, he almost forgets where he was going with this until he watches your eyes flash to the growing bulge in his jeans, then back up to him. “Not tonight, sweetheart. Was thinkin’ you could put that pretty mouth to use on somethin’ different this time, hm?”

You knit your brows together, not sure what he means, but he doesn’t let you wonder for long. Slowly, he starts to unbutton his flannel shirt, starting at the top and working his way down. He tosses it onto the ground, then pulls his undershirt off over his head, adding it to the other discarded clothing. Without the confines of his slightly-too-tight button-up, you can see how much he really has filled out. Everything about his upper body is just a little more plush, with petal pink stretch marks adorning the soft skin in various places. You want to make it your personal mission to kiss each and every one of them, commit their exact coordinates on his body to memory.

There's a deep scar, you notice, to the left of his belly button, that has almost successfully disguised itself as one of those pretty marks. It’s definitely new since you saw him last, and it looks like it hurt, especially with the evidence of how crudely it had been stitched back together.

“What happened?” you wonder aloud, worried eyes glued to the healed injury.

He has to peer over the curve of his belly to see what you’re looking at. “Long story. Happened on my way out here, after I left Boston. Nothin’ for you to worry about, sweet girl, hardly even hurt. Forget it’s even there, most of the time,” he answers, still with a dominant edge to his voice that does a mostly good job of convincing you it’s the truth.

“Can… Can I?” you ask, waiting to receive his permission before you move your hands from your lap. 

“Yeah, baby, go ahead,” Joel allows. 

You reach out a small hand to gently trace over the raised scar, then press your lips to it with your hands splayed out on either side of your head, just barely pressing into his belly. He releases a soft groan, cradling the back of your head with one of his hands, applying the lightest amount of pressure to let you know this is where he wants to keep you. 

“Why don’t you keep goin’, sweetheart? Gimme some more lovin’ like that, know you wanna,” he encourages, and you think you get the idea now, what it is he wanted to put your pretty mouth to use for.

With his explicit permission to continue, you don’t need telling twice. You move your face to hover just in front of his belly button, admiring the dense salt and pepper happy trail that sprouts from where his jeans push into his soft skin. You drag your tongue along the hair, nipping at the soft curve of where it disappears into the divot in his stomach. He makes a noise in response, half pained and half pleasured, but he doesn’t stop you. Just for good measure, you place a kiss to the little blushing mark where your teeth had scraped him.

Almost of their own volition, it seems, your hands begin to knead at his stomach as you make good on your promise to yourself to kiss every single one of his stretch marks. You allow your tongue to dart from your mouth on the last one, and Joel sucks in a breath.

“Oh, fuck. Forgot how good that wet lil’ mouth feels on me, sweetheart. Keep goin’,” he says, voice coming out strained. His fingers curl tightly into your hair, and he begins to maneuver your face around his belly. You lathe your tongue over his skin as he does, slicking him with wet, sloppy kisses. “Yeah, baby, you fuckin’ worship it, show me how much you like me like this.”

It’s a little humiliating, but just enough that you like the feeling. You’re breathing hard and fast, letting out little whimpers as your fluttering cunt begins to soak your underwear. He brings your face to a stop at the most tantalizing part of him, the part that truly evidences how much more he’s allowed himself to indulge since settling in Jackson. The ample curve of flesh that just barely conceals the waistband of his jeans, the part you’ve wanted to get your mouth on since you first saw how it strained the lower buttons of his shirt. You latch onto it, massaging the skin around it as you use your teeth and tongue to suck a mark into him.

A growl rumbles from deep in his chest, and he curses under his breath. “Like it that much, huh? Fuck, naughty thing, look at you.”

You’re so fucking turned on, you’re shivering, rocking where you kneel and squeezing your thighs together in an attempt to get some kind of relief. You let one of your hands drift to the hard shape in Joel’s jeans, and it seems he’s enjoying this as much as you are. He spots your pathetic little squirms as you rut against nothing, and then he’s using his grip on your hair to pull you up from the floor.

“Got an idea. Up,” he commands roughly, and you detach your lips from his belly to obey his order. “Get these off, there we go.” He pulls down your sweatpants and underwear, helping you step out of them. “Christ, you’re soaked,” Joel teases, eyeing the sizable wet spot in your panties as he tosses them aside to join the other forgotten clothing. He reaches a hand toward the apex of your thighs, teasing your wet pussy and gathering some of your slick on two of his fingers. You let out a tiny yelp, but let him play with you, and then he’s bringing his fingers in front of his face and examining the sticky strings of your arousal when he spreads them apart. “All this just from lettin’ you worship all this, huh?” he taunts, patting his stomach once for emphasis. “Who’d’ve thought? Not that I’m complainin’...”

He quickly rids himself of his jeans and briefs, then reclines onto the couch with a quiet groan, stretching out his body along the length of it. Your mouth waters at the sight of his cock, hard and leaking as it bobs against his belly, his precum adding to the dampness still there from your tongue. “Come sit, sweetheart,” Joel says, softly, motioning with both of his hands for you to come closer.

You grip a hand onto the backrest of the couch to balance yourself while you move to straddle him, prepared to sink down onto his length for the first time in way too fucking long. “Uh uh, not there, baby,” he instructs, smirking when he sees how you hesitate in confusion. “Take a seat right here for me.” Again, he pats that most tempting area of his lower belly, and you just about fall apart at the sight of how his flesh ripples in the wake of it.

“Yeah, there you go, good girl,” he praises, both hands gripping your waist as he helps you settle your weight onto his soft abdomen.

“I dunno, don’t wanna hurt you–” you start, but he cuts you off swiftly.

“You won’t, baby. I’m a big man, ain’t I?” he teases, flashing you a devilish and knowing smile. “Go on, sweetheart, ride it.”

You inhale a shuddering breath, then place both of your hands on his shoulders to hold yourself up. You start an experimental buck into his belly, and that trail of dark hair tickles your clit so perfectly. It takes a few tries for you to get the positioning and pressure just right, and then you’re truly riding him, using his full stomach to get yourself off while he watches. 

“God, that’s good. Use it, baby. You love me bigger, love that I’ve been eatin’ so good, prove it to me, c’mon,” Joel goads, and it spurs you on to grind against him harder, faster, as incoherent mumbles and curses tumble from your lips.

“Love it, Joel, you look so good, fuck. So fucking–mmh–so big, makes me so… so–”

“I know it does, sweet girl, I know. Makes you fuckin’ soaked is what it does, god damn. You gonna get my belly all messy, hm? Gonna rub your lil’ cunt all over it, get me all fuckin’ wet?”

“Uh huh, yeah, gonna… I’m gonna–” you whine, eyes shutting tight as your hips pick up their pace. You move your hands from his shoulders to place them on his stomach instead, grabbing at handfuls of his tummy in an effort to create something more solid to rub yourself against. 

You’re already embarrassingly close, the humiliating edge to your earlier worship having gotten you most of the way there on its own. So swollen and sensitive it almost hurts, you won’t need much more to reach your high.

“Not without me, you ain’t. Gonna be right there with ya. You remember how we used to do it?” Joel asks, as if you could ever forget. He’s referring to your many late nights, early mornings, in his bed or in a back alley or wherever in the QZ, where he liked to make sure you both finished at the same time. You’d always be the first one to reach the edge, because he’d focus all his attention on getting you there before him, just to make you wait. It was never something punishing, just something he liked to do as an extra bit of control and dominance, and he knew it always made your orgasms that much more powerful and satisfying when he would finally permit you to let go.

With your eyes closed, so focused on your own pleasure, you hadn’t noticed that he had reached behind you to start fisting his cock some time ago. But you can hear it now, the wet schlick of his hand moving up and down his shaft as he works himself. “Hold it for me, sweetheart, I know you can. Keep rubbin’ your pretty pussy against me, jus’ like that, almost there…”

You mewl, screwing your face up as you force yourself to slow down your thrusts, muscles tense as you try to keep your orgasm at bay for as long as you can. 

Thankfully, he must be worked up enough from seeing you fall apart for him so easily for the first time in so long, that his permission comes just a few minutes later.

“Come for me, babygirl, soak my fuckin’ belly, c’mon,” Joel growls, and you fall forward immediately, twitching and spasming and crying out into the soft muscle of his shoulder as you ride out the shuddering shocks of your orgasm. He groans next to your ear as he comes, and you can feel the warm ropes of his own release as some of them land on your lower back. You’re both wet, heaving messes, as you embrace each other for the second time today and work on catching your breath.

So exhausted from the day you had, you must’ve fallen asleep against his chest as you laid there, because then you’re being woken up by the dull scratch of his fingertips against your scalp and his familiar voice working its way through the thick fog that clouds your tired brain. 

“You alright, baby?” he asks, and you can hear that he’s smiling, amused at this sleepy little thing he’s got clinging to him.

“Mhm, jus’ tired,” you answer, a barely-there mumble of a sentence.

“I’ll bet… You wanna get cleaned up? Get all tucked into bed?”

You shake your head against his neck, and he chuckles.

“No? Whatcha wanna do then, hm?”

“Jus’ lay here. Missed you. Don’t wanna let… go…” 

Your sentence drifts off into silence before the temptation of sleep allows you to finish it, but Joel gets the idea. He smiles to himself, kissing the top of your head, and hugs you closer. Both of you are still sticky and damp, but satisfied. And together again. And that’s a hell of a lot better than the alternative.

So he agrees, and you stay like that for the rest of the night. Joel doesn’t worry about whether or not he remembered to set his alarm clock for his extra patrol shift the next morning, or if he’ll even hear it all the way from his bedroom upstairs, because it doesn’t matter anyway. He has you, and you made it very clear tonight just how much you like him exactly the way he is. 

Maybe, your rose garden can finally begin to bloom, now that the pair of you have somewhere safe and comfortable and healthy to try your hand at nurturing it again.

tag list: @beefrobeefcal @iamasaddie @rebel-held @dilfgestivo @zliteraturehoe @joeldjarin @kamcrazy123 @hellowoolf @rexamongthestars @stevie75 @luxurychristmaspudding @noisynightmarepoetry @mewantpeepaw @pedritoferg (if your name is crossed out, it won’t let me tag you!!)

#my writing #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x you #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #daddy!joel miller #joel miller smut

[onlyhuis]

moments with jun

member — junhui x gn reader genre — fluff, bullet point headcanons, non-idol au word count — 1.9k (they're very long bullet points nskhdfj) warnings — mentions of food, that's really it this is super sfw. i don't think i included any details about reader but if this isn't actually gn please lmk i may have missed it. unedited bc i'm at work notes — requested by anon — idk if this was actually a request or not but i agree w you soooo much i love all the different versions of jun and this was so so cute to write 🥹 sorry this is so long literally i can talk about jun for hours and hours and if you get me started talking about him i will never stop like i will talk about him an infinite amount until the end of time. if anyone wants to hear more of my delusional rambling pls lmk bc i will never shut up i love him so much i was literally giggling and kicking my feet while writing. reblog if you love jun can i get an amen huihuis

i think the version of himself that he shows you is his most authentic one. like he just feels so comfortable and safe with you that he doesn't care what you see or what he does. it's his most secret personality, but it's his most honest, and he doesn't let a lot of people see it (at least not right away). of all his different personalities and worlds, the one with you is the closest to the one he saves for himself. there's subtle differences, things he keeps even more private, but it's not anything huge or significant.

he's clingy, but usually doesn't act on it physically. to others he shows his clinginess in other ways, like standing extra close to his friends when he doesn't have to or just sitting with someone while they eat. but what's different is for you, he's clingy in every way possible.

in the mornings he'll snuggle as close as possible, watching your eyelashes flutter as you sleep. he's almost afraid to touch you for fear of waking you up and disturbing your precious sleep, so he usually keeps his hands to himself other than gently pulling a piece of hair out of your mouth or carefully touching your cheek because he just can't believe you're real and you're so beautiful. but as soon as you start to wake up he's all over you, rolling over and wrapping his long arms around you and kissing you all over your beautiful face and basking in your warmth.

he texts you all throughout the day even if you don't reply, because he knows that it'll make you smile even just seeing his name on your phone. he'll send you dozens of pictures (of himself, of cats he's seen in real life, of cats he's seen on the internet, of himself photoshopped with cats… etc.) and he always has a cat gif for every occasion. it's just a little way to show his affection when you aren't together, reminding him that hopefully somewhere out there you're thinking about him, too.

he's all over you when you eat too, and he has to hold himself back from literally climbing onto your lap because he doesn't wanna be overbearing and give you space. but he'll still sit as close to you as possible, your chairs touching as he watches you with the cutest smile on his face. 

jun in public with you is similar to jun in private, but quieter and more reserved. he's not big on pda at all, unless it's with people he's very close to like minghao or the other members, but even then it's rare for them to see him doing anything more than holding your hand. so eating in public he's not quite as clingy as when you're alone at home, but it's definitely still there, just quietly.

at restaurants when you go on dates he'll sit next to you, even if there's space on both sides of the booth. he claims it's because it's easier for you to steal bites off his plate, but you both know that's not the reason why: he just likes to feel close to you, sitting shoulder to shoulder even when there's plenty of room to spread out. when he's forced to sit across from you for whatever reason, he'll hold your hand under the table or lightly kick your shoe because he still wants to be touching you.

jun's love language is food, so a big part of your relationship revolves around it. cooking together; him cooking and you sitting in a chair nearby keeping him company; you cooking and you have to whack him away with the spoon because he's standing too close but he just really likes being near you and watching you work. no matter who cooks the meal he always makes sure you're served first and he only starts filling his plate after you've insisted that you won't eat any more.

he's very giving and another one of his love languages is acts of service, so a lot of the time he'll cook for you even if he's dead tired because he wants to make sure you're fed and happy and healthy. he’s more independent and likes doing things for himself, even more so when it comes to you and he knows you depend on him. so while restaurant dates are pretty common, eating takeout at home doesn't happen very often unless you specifically ask for something or if he's so tired that neither of you want to cook.

but this is kind of contradictory because he actually loves quiet nights in eating takeout on the couch. he wants to hear all about your day while he shovels more fried rice onto your paper plate to make sure you get enough. there's a tv show playing in the background on low volume or even muted and neither of you are really paying attention because you're too caught up snuggling together with your feet across his lap.

when he's comfortable around someone he can be jumpy and kind of rambunctious, but he also knows when to tone it down. it may not be super obvious to others, but there's actually a huge difference between jun's silence when he's comfortable vs. when he's uncomfortable.

when he's in public or around people he doesn't know or even just around large groups in general he kind of fades into the background, preferring to watch and observe rather than participate. he's not shy, but he just doesn't say much. but when it's just the two of you, his silence is completely different. he's totally focused, tuned in to every word you're saying and committing it to his memory in case he needs it for later. hearing you talk is literally the best part of his day, so when he gets quiet it's not because he doesn't want to talk, but because he likes hearing you talk more.

but that's not to say he's quiet all the time. when he gets excited about something, it's like watching a kitten with the zoomies. his eyes go wide and he's smiling so hard, grinning from ear to ear, and he's speaking so fast you can barely keep up but you love to listen to him just as much as he loves to listen to you. when he's around other people he gets almost shy about his happiness, and even around people like minghao who he's completely comfortable with, he still doesn't show the full extent of how excited he is. but with you, he's overflowing with love and joy and excitement and he doesn't hide any of it. he has a childlike sort of wonder and happiness, but he's so open about it with you and it feels like a fresh breeze through an open window.

almost all of the moments he shares with you are secret from the rest of the world, in the comfort of your own home or in another place that the two of you can be alone together with no chance of being interrupted. but that doesn't mean he can't share those moments with you in other places, too. in any kind of public setting he doesn't show everything, but there's still tiny little pieces of that side of him that only you get to see; they aren't obvious to everyone, but he doesn't want them to be obvious because they're only for you.

when you go shopping together he gets excited about what to make for dinner, picking up ingredients and throwing you a grin as he puts them in the cart. or strolling through the mall together and he sees a shirt that he thinks will look so good on you, so he tugs you into the store and giddily asks you to try it on. 

or walking in public, like down the sidewalk or through the park or in a parking lot on the way to his car, he'll hold your hand. it may not seem like much, but it means everything to him to feel you in his grasp, a tiny reminder that you're there. one hand in yours, the other carrying your purse or bags or groceries or whatever. you don't have to ask and he doesn't even offer, he just holds everything quietly and doesn't complain, as long as he's next to you. 

like i said earlier he's very giving; he has sooo much love but he keeps it quiet a lot of the time until he really trusts you, because it's easy for people to take advantage of that. but once he's comfortable with you he doesn't hold back with showing you his love in any form. not necessarily spoiling you with gifts, but he does things that he knows will make you feel as happy and loved as you make him feel.

he showers you with compliments, even though it makes him just a little bit shy to admit how much he likes you and how incredible you are, but he needs to make sure you know exactly how he sees you. he makes you lunch and cleans things without saying anything and leaves little notes around the house in places you won't find right away so that it'll be a true surprise when you do find them. he doesn't always know how to express all the love he has to give, so he does it in the ways he knows best.

he does so much without you having to ask because he doesn't want to be praised for it; he just wants to do it, even if that means he doesn't get the recognition he deserves. he doesn't need recognition, because you're already the greatest achievement he could ever hope to have.

this is a silly thought but i think it's true so i have to say it. he has absolutely no shame around you, which is something he usually suppresses around other people. for the most part his image is the polite, sweet little guy who's a little bit silly, but that goes out the window once he's alone with you. he farts in the living room and starts giggling at you. he doesn't care if you walk in on him doing the weirdest thing in the world because he doesn't see a reason to hide any of it from you. it took a long time to build up to this level of comfortableness with you, but once he's been with you long enough he's a totally open book.

anyway just in general he is a lovely, kind, quietly caring person and people don't always see that about him, but i think he does that on purpose. he only wants to show that side of himself to people he knows will truly appreciate it, and you're the number one person in his life. above everyone else he knows that you'll see him and reciprocate with an equal amount of love in your own ways. he has so much love for his members and friends and family, and a lot of aspects of his personality overlap with those people, but yours is a different kind of love and he has special ways of showing it that only you will understand.

i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!

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this is my fourth time trying to post this bc tumblr hates me so sorry for the funky format i couldnt get it to work :( however if you want to be notified when i post a new fic, you can join my taglist here!

#kvanity #kflixnet #k-labels #caratlibrary #[📌] — june.writes #jun fluff #junhui fluff #svt fluff #seventeen fluff #junhui fanfic #junhui scenarios #junhui headcanons #jun headcanons #junhui x reader #jun imagines #jun fanfic #jun scenarios #svt scenarios #svt x reader #svt imagines #seventeen jun #seventeen imagines #seventeen fanfic #seventeen scenarios

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/749333039047442432/httpsolderthannetfictumblrcompost74884185043?source=share

Sorry, long rant incoming.

Someone in the replies said it, but I think it needs to be said again where everyone can see it: I think a lot of the attitude that anon is somehow secretly pro-censorship because they think certain preferences are skeevy, and strenuously insisting that bad attitudes can NEVER be media's fault.... idk, maybe take it out of the context of debates about sexually explicit/pornographic media for a moment?

There are works of media that had pretty direct effects on activist and political movements, good and bad. Uncle Tom's Cabin inspired a lot of people to fight against slavery. The movie Birth of a Nation, which showed a history of the U.S. with the KKK as heroic, is considered by most historians to be a major contributor to the revival of the KKK in the 1920s. The Nazis used films, books, music, art, and so on in their propaganda, knowing it would help their ideas go down more easily. The Soviets did too. Every dictatorship did. Even democratic countries have done it as well, usually but not always in more subtle ways.

Do none of those count, because "oh, people who were going to be convinced by Birth of a Nation would be racist anyway"? "Good, non-racist people wouldn't be convinced by it"? I mean, the latter is true: there were plenty of people, especially black Americans but plenty of white allies too, who boycotted the film at the time. The NAACP led a boycott. But do you really think NO ONE was convinced? (What about people who previously didn't feel any way about it one way or the other? Were they just innately more evil, even if it might've just been that they weren't aware? Do supposedly progressive people in fandom realize how much this sounds like Christian original sin rhetoric...) And does it matter purely about media fully changing minds, or also how it galvanizes people who already think one way? If it gives them new talking points, new ways of thinking about it and convincing others? If it helps them believe their cause is more important and worth fighting for?

So why does this all suddenly change when we're talking about sex? Is porn really this special class of media where somehow all the rules about how we can both like things and also be critical of how media (fiction, news media, whatever) influences us - "be critical of the media you love," as a tote bag sold by Feminist Frequency said - just stop applying for some reason? Or maybe if something is bypassing your rational brain entirely and going directly for the pleasure centers, there's all the more reason to think critically about what it's saying? Propaganda is designed to bypass all that, too.

Also, if media really has NOTHING to do with it, that just wouldn't explain why it's disproportionately anime that feature these specific elements that seem to attract more people arguing for why it's wrong to be upset by rape or child exploitation in real life. I don't believe that everyone who watches slavery isekai or lolicon approves of those things irl - I think for the vast majority of people, it IS a fantasy and that's the point - but I have noticed that in places like the Anime News Network or Crunchyroll forums, the comments become a cesspool of creepy people arguing for why ages of consent should be lowered and mean feminists who don't like watching media with rape in it just need to get over themselves, in a way they just don't when you're talking about Attack on Titan or My Hero Academia or Shoujo Romance #4891 or whatever.

As another person in the notes said, abusers ARE opportunistic. They'll use something like Twilight as easily as they'll use the most uwu, soft, "non problematic" ship to argue for why they're allowed to abuse you. But I don't think that means we can't be critical (not calling for censorship, of course! but like, writing op-eds and stuff) of media that makes their arguments a little easier, maybe even directly makes their arguments for them.

You can believe both that everyone has the opportunity to read, watch, listen to, play what they want and make up their own minds about it, and that it's wrong for the government to ever decide what media is and isn't "acceptable," and also believe that media often is saying things that aren't apparent on the surface and that you should be critical of those messages, *especially* with the stuff you like.

The point is just that porn isn't like, fundamentally different from other fictional media in this way. (Or, hell, I would argue that fictional media isn't functionally different from other mass media in this way. If anything, fiction's politics are often more insidious in a way that makes it easier for them to reach people who might not otherwise be open to those messages in the form of, say, blatantly right-wing news media.)

It's particularly strange to me when people jump all over someone for expressing how something can be insidiously creepy in a more mundane way. The line people are upset about that used the word "unpack" was just making the point that even if we can agree lolicon isn't outright advocating pedophilia, even if we agree the point is that it's a fantasy and they're not like real children at all and that's what people like, it's still working within an idealization/fetishization of helplessness, innocence, and dependence, and that still has a lot that you can critique from a feminist perspective. It's still a thing that plays into some crappy societal ideas about who women are supposed to be, and is selling that to men as a romantic ideal. There's still a lot we can talk about there! And it's still totally fair for women to be wary of men where that seems to be all they're into - because for some (and I believe this was what anon was initially trying to say was their experience), it does impact how they treat real women. It doesn't have to be everyone for it to have an impact.

There's a lot of anime that presents women that way, even way outside of lolicon. A lot of it's anime I like! I'm still critical of that aspect of it. I still wish that particular part of it were different.

I still don't see how this makes me "pro censorship" unless I believe some kind of institution should mandate that that not be included. And whether that's the government, or the industry itself (people do kind of narrowly focus on "the government" in a way that would make a lot of industry-run censorship that was still very harmful, e.g. the Hollywood Hays Code, not "count"), or anyone, I very much disagree with that. Creators should be able to create what they want. A lot of what creators are doing with this is unconscious, is reflecting societal biases they learned but haven't thought deeply about.... which is precisely the point of critiquing how those show up in a work.

People love to talk about "secretly 'anti' attitudes" but at the end of the day, support or opposition to censorship is pretty straightforward. You believe someone should be stopped from making a particular kind of media, or you don't. If you don't, you're not pro-censorship, no matter how much you personally may not like that that media or a particular aspect of it exists. Most people who care about media have some media they wish didn't exist. It's about what they do about it that makes them pro or anti censorship. Talk to people who donate to or even work for the ACLU or other anti censorship groups; most of them don't like racist or sexist stuff, but they also don't believe it should be banned and that's the point.

Bringing it back to the discussion at hand, I think the point was just that you can't be blind to how power dynamics influence this stuff. I wouldn't even say specifically cishet men are at fault here, since some people who read this blog seem to think that anyone saying that is automatically talking about bioessentialism as opposed to like, societal stuff (don't ask me why, this has been explained on here enough times in enough different discourses over the years, I think). I'd just say anyone with power in that particular context. There's a reason why it's specifically mainstream media, aimed at groups in power, that tends to draw in creeps excusing the real thing... in a way that just similarly is not true of people in fanfiction fandom, who are usually a member of one or more oppressed categories, exploring that in their own marginal work. Fans of rape fanfiction just don't act the way that fans of slavery rape isekai do. It's because there is fundamentally a difference both when you're someone whom society tells you are entitled to everything you want in this particular arena, and also when a work is mainstream, broadening its reach, and speaking a particular message from the lens of people with economic and social power (who are making these mainstream works) and given approval by publishers/media studios/etc. in a way that is not the case with amateur work with tiny audiences. And, frankly, there's a difference between something that eroticizes rape from the point of view of the perpetrator vs. the victim.

Not a difference in terms of how legal it should be. Not a difference in whether every single person who watches it or likes it is bad. But a difference in terms of what it's saying, how it's saying that, and often the effects they have as a result. That, too, is true with every topic, not just sex.

I feel like a lot of people getting mad at these do fundamentally agree with this, but just have a weird blind spot when it's put in any sort of terminology that reminds them of certain bad arguments they've seen in fandom, uses any words that can be dismissed as "radfem" or "anti" or whatever, and so just refuse to engage with the actual meat of what is being said.

If you do actually believe though that it's wrong to EVER think media can have a negative effect on what people believe about irl issues, because there was always something "already there" that was going to "come out anyway" if it affects you that way (again, people: this is "original sin" rhetoric), and if you ever privately judge people for the media they like you're secretly pro-censorship. You do have to recognzie that both you personally come up short and also most peopel doing real concrete real world things to fight censorship would also come up short!

I think sometimes of an editorial that said "if you love Return of the Jedi but hated the Ewoks you understand feminist criticism" in terms of how you can be bothered by the sexism of a piece of media in a way you'd be bothered by any one individual element of it, and still overall like the whole. And also, you can be offended by something, even wish it didn't exist (don't we as nerds all have entries in some franchise we like or another that we wish didn't exist for fannish reasons?), without believing that it should be officially made to stop existing or have never existed in the first place. That last part does actaully matter as like, its own thing. It is in fact separable from just being able to have personal judgey feelings about media and about the people who liked it.

And opposing it does not mean in any way that we have to just stop thinking critically about the media we love, or that we have to act like media can never have any influence on people. We on the left tend to talk about sexism, racism, homophoia and so on as being influenced by culture and society. Well, guess what is part of society and culture? Fictional (and other kinds of) media. That's part of that societal programming we get. It's why you'll see some of it even from people whose parents very much tried to resist teaching them certain things, because they get it from media anyway. I was raised by strenuously feminist parents: it was the media that taught me what gender roles were and how I was expected to adhere to them.

--

Look, I realize it's a bit rich of me to say this, but people are not going to engage with your actual points if you cannot be more succinct.

[zenon-karr]

Okay I feel like I need to speak up but I think most people are not realllly theorizing Tommy is a bad guy or anything when we say he’s not into the costumes and didn’t put effort we are thinking they are demonstrating that they’re establishing his attraction to men but ultimately they aren’t compatible. There isn’t anything wrong with not being interested in dress up shenanigans but as a person for example that is I don’t mesh well with those who don’t - I find them like a buzzkill bc they come off as too cool for that kind of thing. Not that I necessarily think they’re bad but I just don’t vibe with this and when we say red flags it doesn’t necessarily mean Tommy is bad just means uh oh this person doesn’t seem as invested as the other like when someone want a hook up and the other wants a relationship or love. You know?

On the note we see how Eddie is so it feels like they’re showing how Eddie is better fit for him. We are saying while maybe the kissing is cute (which I’m barely even there with) nothing else is this cute to me other than it’s queer. We are more saying we don’t really see big potential with it or isn’t endgame material. Which is a shame I don’t enjoy the chemistry because I do appreciate the bi arc and I *want* to ship but the chemistry is lacking and plot. It leaves much to be desired for me - and mainly I think a lot of people recently have been missing the slow burn in media. Having people suddenly be kissing isn’t always impressive regardless of gender of the people kissing. I criticize Hetero couples for the same. Sometimes if there is no plot other than sexuality for example in this case or suddenly people are kissing after 1 ep it leaves much to be desired when the chemistry doesn’t wow you. Like this is it my feelings idk if anyone else agrees w me. But is okay if you disagree I just hope some different pov help others to understand others not to change anyone’s minds or anything. You’re allowed to like Tommy and ship bucktommy but I do hope people read and understand a different pov that isn’t yelling at someone. This all being said I don’t know if this is the intention or acting style just Tommy doesn’t vibe w me. But I support and believe in people liking whatever they want but I don’t have to like the same thing.

#buddie #911 abc #911

[starstriix]

Jo's dynamics with other characters are all usually fun and engaging due to her being such an entertaining and adaptable character herself; but they can honestly be so much more interesting if people explored them a bit more?

For example, take Jo and Lightning. They have a hilarious dynamic with Jo having to deal with Lightning's stupidity and learning to manipulate his self-centeredness to her advantage. Except one thing I don't see explored enough is their similarities??

They're both overconfident athletes who are willing to do bad shit in order to win. It makes me think that Jo might’ve had a similar upbringing to him where she had to deal with the pressure of winning? Like, a cut-throat attitude doesn't just develop out of nowhere. Except whilst I think Lightning's ego developed from being constantly praised (and eventually pressured with having to live up to others' expectations), Jo might’ve been constantly belittled and underestimated (for yknow, being a girl) and she would've had to work hard to achieve recognition from others. Episode 6 pretty much confirms that she uses a false bravado and anger to cover up feelings of insecurity. I just think their possibly similar yet different upbringings and perspectives would be cool to explore.

Jo and Zoey is one of my favourite duos! They definitely should've become friends; I think they would've been a fun dynamic, and gen 2 could've used a proper female friendship. I think them both having the "Not like other girls" aspect is quite interesting?? As well as them both initially lacking actual friendships (with Zoey's lonely childhood, and Jo's... Just Jo) which is. Pretty common amongst the gen 2 girls. Huh

Zoey could've been a MUCH more interesting character (I always just use the cool epic version of her I have inside my head). Let her be weirdddd or let her be super basic and intentionally pose as "indie" to seem cool and different. Maybe she looks down on other "basic" girls to cover up how she feels insecure around them for being weird and having unconventional interests herself idk. I think the dynamic of both Zoey and Jo hating on pretty, popular girls and overcoming that is super neat. Especially since they're both something that the other hates; Zoey is a typically feminine girl and Jo is a jockette. Let them become friends and be like "okay well you aren't so bad" and then eventually stop judging other girls for being "feminine" or "basic" pleaseeeee it'd be so good. Even better: let ALL the revenge girls be friends. I just want them to be happy OKAY? Okay.

Finally, Jo and Cameron! Another duo I'm fond of. Awesome brains/brawns combination, and the whole arc of Cam standing up to her and Jo respecting him for it is absolutely peak. Jo's elimination in roti was pretty much perfect, but I also think she could've worked well in the finale. Her being a combination of brains and brawns would have encouraged Cameron to use both, which would be a neat callback to Jo's earlier line of needing to get physical in TD. (Still think she should've rooted for Cameron over the guy who insisted that she was a dude for most of the season but whatever)

I haven't really seen this take on their dynamic, but the whole thing of Cameron's development being stunted from the over-protective environment of his upbringing and Jo being toughened by the harsh environment of hers adds a fascinating layer to their relationship. Whereas Cameron was prevented from being able to properly grow up and experience things like normal teens, Jo grew up way too soon and put more focus into winning than making positive relationships and allowing herself to just be a teenage girl (I personally believe Jo got the """tough love""" treatment). Idk I just think this would be cool to delve into and see how their opposite childhoods impacted them and their core values when interacting with each other

Cameron clearly saw her as both a role model and an opponent, which is a really fun dynamic! She was a bully, yeah, but she also presented herself as someone who was always in control and knew what she was doing, so it's understandable that Cam looked up to her. She was pretty much the opposite of overprotective too, which is probably what drew Cam to her since she didn't coddle him (and instead made fun of him LMAO). And of course, Jo learned to not underestimate the tiny nerds and gave her respect in the end. Super fun and intriguing duo, and probably the only td pair I would actually compare to siblings.

So yeah basically I think we should start looking into TD relationship dynamics more because they're awesome and filled with potential. Especially Jo's because she is the best ever and if you think otherwise then you're wrong

Also have a gold star if you just read through all of that ⭐️ great work soldier

#total drama #tdroti #td jo #td lightning #td zoey #td cameron #tdi

[blvckentropy]

WARNING LONG RANT!

Okay so I've been sitting on Drake so called "diss track" and I still declare it as the biggest CONTRADICTING ASS track ever. Like I get die hard Drake fans gone be like he won regardless but he hasn't because he made several deep holes in his argument. Granted you probably don't give a damn and that's fine. Overall, neither do I but some of you got so blinded and hyped by his one-liners and his flow that you ain't peep what he really said did you? Ngl, had me sitting here like a was crazy for a minute. Now correct me if I'm wrong cause I also had to fact check myself, but these are the lines that got me like now wait wait....

You said, "The ones that you're gettin' your stories from, they all clowns" just to say "We plotted for a week and then we fed you the information".... which one is it? Are you calling yourself a clown or the ppl you sent the info. to? I'm perplexed.

"What about the bones we dug up in that excavation? And why isn't Whitney denyin' all of the allegations? Why is she following Dave Free and not Mr. Morale? You haven't seen the kids in six months, the distance is wild Dave leaving heart emojis underneath pics of the child"

First and for most, what is your obsession with this woman? Also are we in high school? Why we worried about someone follow count and/or who following who? She a grown ass woman like she can't have male friends. Plus, if irl she with Kendrick every day, why does she need to? And if Kendrick aint worried about, why are you? You caught up in finding out if that's her real bd but where are your evidence? If Kendrick has to, you do too. Childish.

BUT THIS IS WHERE IT GOT DISRESPECTFUL!

"This Epstein angle was the shit I expected TikTok videos you collected and dissected Instead of being on some diss-direct shit You rather fucking grab your pen and misdirect shit My mom came over today and I was like, "Mother, I—, mother, I—, mother—" Ah, wait a second, that's that one record where you say you got molested"

"This about to get so depressin' This is trauma from your own confessions This when your father leave you home alone with no protection, so neglected That's why these pedophile raps and shit you so obsessed with, it's so excessive"

"Touch My Body" by Mariah Carey play, you probably start reflectin"

This whole verse was a misinterpretation of Kendrick's song "Mother I Sober" which I had to educate myself with. Long story short, the song is about his mom SA and how she thought he was by his cousin even when he told her "no" and it forms a bigger picture to his overall family trauma as a whole and so on. So not only did you Mr. " You gotta learn to fact check things and be less impatient" if that ain't the biggest pot calling the kettle black idk what is. You got it wrong (Kendrick pretty much explained it) then double down on borderline prob over the line atp disrespecting his mother and all and every victim of SA? We victim shaming now?

I never been with no one underage, but now I understand why this the angle that you really mess with Just for clarity, I feel disgusted, I'm too respected If I was fucking young girls, I promise I'd have been arrested I'm way too famous for this shit you just suggested

*Slow claps* Congratulations you played yourself. What in the fuckery? CURRENTLY....DIDDY DOODLE BOB HAS ALLEGATIONS RIGHT NOW AND HE'S MORE FAMOUS THAN U. And don't get me started on the list....umm...you literally just named one (If you still bumping R. Kelly, you could thank the Savior)

"Only fuckin' with Whitneys, not Millie Bobby Browns, I'd never look twice at no teenager" but you'll look once? Also, someone que up the video with him on stage w/ a 17-year-old. He and I quote "Why you look like that?" "You thick. look at all this" Then kiss her all over her face🤔 Sir a kiss on the cheek or forehead would suffice but I digress.

And correct me if I'm wrong, I believe the only reason Kendrick hasn't even the touch the "beating allegations" is because he covers all that in both Mr. Morale and Mother I sober? If I'm correct, then you basically didn't tell us nothing that hasn't been said on him. Plus you also not fact checking. Where's of your proof? I would think someone with the upper hand would have laid down evidence that you mastermind...oh wait...was Kendrick right along? Now you look like the goofy on defense. Like do Kendrick even have to say anything?

Bruh, but the funniest part on it all. You acting like YOU DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS. YOU DROP A DISS first wanting him to response and now you trying to make it seem like you didn't? My guy, if your actions alone here isn't a manipulation master class. Chileeeeee

#drake #kendrick lamar #long rant #my opinion #just chatting #tw warning #the heart part 6

[justallihere]

A bit late to this chapter since i've been traveling but it was a TREAT when you dropped it.

Not sure why I found Dain and Cam pummeling each other was attractive to me but I'm rolling with it.

Is there a potential Tessa and Cam pairing I see 👀. I am DYING to know what plans you have for Cam, does he want to be a rider now that he has the freedom??? or is he going to continue assisting in different ways.

After IF, I understood what RY meant that Dain was going to have a redemption arc and I am HERE for your version too (though I was initially hesitant with RY lmao)

As the eldest daughter in an immigrant family, I relate to Mira on a spiritual level, this line 😭. Someone hug Mira PLEASE

I believed in everything they told us. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was making a difference. I thought that I could make my brother’s death mean something by protecting our sister, the only person we both ever loved more than each other, but I couldn’t even fucking do that, Brennan. He told us that having a little sister was the most important thing in the world. There wasn’t a better or bigger job than being a big sister and a big brother.

Xaden really told Brennan, fuck around and find out in regards to his wife and how they make her feel.

I love all the hugs and physical touch that is happening between these two. The slow burn was WORTH IT

Tairn being such a girl dad to Violet, I AM SOBBING. He probably felt so much anger when he couldn't do anything for Vi when she was being tortured.

Brennan telling Vi that she has to finish her education is so older sibling coded. He's trying to pull the older brother giving his younger sibling advice card but Vi is like Im the goddamn queen and your superior officer LMAO.

Vi wanting everyone to love Aretia as much as she does was so gut-wrenching and idk why 😭 (and Mira being extremely uncomfortable in Aretia and Vi being sad about that made ME sad)

My only thought for this line was "whipped"

Xaden only shrugged. “Anything for you.”

Hope you got to enjoy your weekend and relax a bit <3 Thank you for gifting us this chapter, it made my week

The Dain & Cam fight almost involved Sloane and Tessa “watching for technique” 💀

“Staring is rude,” Violet noted mildly as she approached.

Sloane’s face lit up, but she said evenly, “We’re not staring.”

“We’re. . . watching for technique,” Tessa added with a smile.

Liam coughed pointedly.

“Technique,” Sloane agreed unconvincingly.

I’m keeping my Cam plans to myself!! My man isn’t done causing problems yet though

Mira deserves THE WORLD. She is just doing her best to be the best big sister. She needs so many hugs

Xaden was like “I don’t care if we’re friends, I don’t care if she’s your sister, she’s my wife, upset her again and you die” and Brennan took that shit seriously

Tairn!! I felt a lil bad leaving Andarna out of that moment but there’s just something about the Violet & Tairn bond that demanded that needed to be only for them

Brennan: “you should—“

Violet: “no”

Violet finally has a home she’s happy and safe and comfortable in when she’s never had that her whole life and she just wants everyone else to feel the same and get to experience it with her 🥺

Xaden is, in fact, whipped

Thank you!! 🩷🩷

#storm in the quiet

[an-au-blog]

I love zosan and think the art made me love it even more, but if I'm being honest with myself and how I feel about the canon, I'd say there should be zolu and sanuso before zosan. Let me explain:

The only logical explanation for Zoro - a pirate hunter, who had killed pirates for very petty reasons... to join a random guy with no crew, no boat and a pipedream, is that he saw something in him. The sheer amount of loyalty this man holds for his captain is more than akin to blind devotion than anything. And the trust Luffy holds in his first mate is absolutely astounding.

Outside of the ladies, Sanji only ever defends/vouches for Usopp. Even though Usopp is a man, Sanji doesn't treat him with the annoyance he sometimes has for Luffy and Zoro. During the water 7 arc, he keeps defending Usopp even though the Mary fiascos. He's super protective towards him.

In conclusion, here's how I think it'd go:

Sanji had been unintentionally courting Usopp and only realized it when water 7 happened. At some point while they're still in recovery or maybe while they were still traveling to enmys lobby, he tries to tell him what he's realized. Because if he really leaves the crew, this would be his only chance and he needed to live without regrets, as there was no guarantee what could happen.

Sanji: Usopp, I know it's not the time or place, but-

Usopp: Haha, this isn't Usopp, I'm Sniper King, remember?!

Sanji (defeated, knowing nothing will come of this): Yeah, well, when you see Usopp, can you tell him that I'm sorry I couldn't tell him on time, but I love him and I regret only realizing it now...

Usopp: ...

Usopp: Oh... well... I'll be sure to tell him.

Sanji might have taken that as a nice way to reject him, so he decided to take it with dignity and leave but was stopped when he heard

Usopp: And thank you... I mean, he'd probably thank you. For telling him.

Would it be too pathetic of Sanji to hold onto hope?

After everything was said and done, Usopp joined again. Sanji had forgotten, with all the things that happened, about his confession. So he was a bit surprised when he approached him about it.

S: Soooo... Sniper King told me what you wanted to tell me...

U, sweating bullets: Whaaat? I didn't mean- I mean I never told him to tell you anything, idk what you're talking about. That sniper king guy probably lied!

S: I don't think he's the type to lie. He's a man of honor, you know.

U, not believe that he's getting jealous of himself: you're so easy to defend him, you like him or something?

S, with embarrassment but loving adoration: Yeah.

U, heart broken: Oh. Well, I wish you two a happy life then.

(If he's wondering whether or not to "rejoin as SK", but living a double life would be hard and -)

S: Wait, where are you going. I just told you I loved you and you're walking away? Did something happen, I thought...

U: You said you like Sniper King, not me. (*insert rant about how SK is so much better than Usopp and all that self degrading bs*)

S: Okay, okay, no. I know you're the same person. But if you insist: I love you too. Not only in a friend way, not because of your persona, but because of you. Usopp.

And awww, would you look at that, they started dating. Time passes and Usopp stops feeling as insecure as he had before. Sanji keeps flirting with women but never means it and they all know it because they always ends up back in each other's arms. But then something devastating happens. Sanji can't stop thinking about how the mosshead never wears a shirt. It's infuriating and Usopp kind of understands, at one point he goes "Have you tried touching his chest? Maybe you'll get it out of your system."

To which Sanji is 1. Speechless, petrified, flabbergasted; 2. Shook and horrified at the suggestion; 3. Kind of obsessed with the idea now that he thinks about it; 4. defensive because "my love, you are all I need how could youuuu think thaaat".

In that order.

Usopp, laughing nervously: It's not like I haven't done it.

Sanji: What?

Usopp: What.

So it turned out, that one night of drinking made Zoro almost kiss Usopp, which he backed away because he was afraid, but then Zoro called it "physical traids" which made him.confused and a bit worried that he didn't know what that was, so he said he'd think about it. Zoro looked at him in a way that conveyed "what is there to think about", but never voiced it. With a shrug, he said okay and never tried anything after that.

So Sanji and Usopp decided that they needed to talk about it with the swordsman himself. To work out the logistics if anything... What he said, however, none of them expected.

Zoro: I don't know why you make it into a big fuss. Physical traids, yeah, it's like: I find you attractive, you find me attractive, we care for each other so we make out or if we're feeling it - more. How can Luffy het it, but you can't.

Jaws on the floor.

They call Luffy in on the conversation and it gets worse.

Luffy: Yeah, it's like when I'm bored, or feel like it, we do stuff. But I don't really wanna kiss anyone else and I told him you guys are okay to kiss cause I trust you!

Explaining to them that, yes - that's kind of what dating is, and yes - they've been technically exclusively dating until now, went about as well as one might have hoped. At one point, Sanji definitely got frustrated from his own overthinking about why Marimo had hit on his boyfriend but never him. To which Zoro responded that he had tried a couple of times but Sanji just kicked or ignored him, so he gave up, thinking he wasn't interested.

And at some point Luffy definitely drops something like "I'd like to try with you guys too, it could be fun." with a beaming smile and both Usopp and Sanji wouldn't be able to stop thinking about ot for a week straight, low-key obsessing over it until they decide, okay, yes. And then they would tell him and he would just go "Oh, right, forgot about that, sure, let's do it!"

(idk this was funnier in my head)

#idk what this love triangle is called #sanuso #zolu #zosan #op #zolusanuso #zolusan #usolu #sanlu #idk how to tag I'm gonna cry

[notjusthespongenextdoor]

It's a shame that "it gets better" is such a trite phrase now cause like. It does.

It's just such an important message that has kind of been ruined by weird PSAs of just a bunch of famous people saying "it gets better" at the camera with absolutely no context. Do they still do those. Idk they're stuck in my head from when i was a kid and definitely even then just had this sense of "this is meaningless to me"

It's hard to say what would have worked to actually get the message across before but like. For someone to start to believe it they have to hear it from someone who they know has gone through similar things and really believes what They're saying.

Anyways here's my little story. I remember hearing from a lot of sources when i was younger that depression never completely goes away, it just becomes more manageable with treatment and you can reduce the length and frequency and intensity of depressive episodes. And what this meant to me at the time was like, oh, so i might be happy sometimes but I'll always backslide into this unbearable feeling that everything is terrible and nothing will be okay ever?

But like. No. That's not what that means. It's hard to imagine when you're in the midst of feeling like everything is terrible, but "manageable depressive episodes" doesn't mean feeling godawful and just gritting your teeth and powering through it like you're used to. It means every so often you will feel kind of low energy and unmotivated for a little bit, and you get to go, eh, this is a little frustrating, but I'll just try to take it easy for a while and then I'll feel better

Like it's genuinely manageable. Not "everything is terrible but I'll deal with it" manageable but "this is a little unpleasant" manageable. It is genuinely much much better

#spongesound.txt

[v3r0n1qu3]

Fasting for 21 days, 1.+2.

The first day was fine, didn't really feel like eating and went for a walk. I was so frustrated about the 20 kgs i want to lose tho, so much more starvation, i'll really have to get used to it. I drank some diet soda and then decided not to drink anything other than mineral water and black coffee

Today is the second day of my fast, i was working for 7 hours and managed to survive it, i was really dizzy tho. My heart kept beating in a wierd way and i kinda liked it :'D, idk. When i stood up at the end of my shift, i only saw darkness in front of me for like 10 seconds, that's never happened to me before, but the lightheaded feeling was amazing tbh, i felt as if i was floating. My body also seems smaller and i finally fit the size M in pants instead of the XL i wore when i relapsed. Bought some new cute clothes to motivate me and also crocheting a skirt that i'll be able to wear when i lose weight.

I feel like i already lost the habit of eating. I can't really imagine sitting down and putting anything in my mouth. I can't believe i used to eat all the time and actually didn't care about what am i eating, it literally just had to be food. My stomach is almost flat now, btw.

Never fasted for this long, i'm impressed by my willpower, since a week ago i literally ate fucking junkfood and managed to binge. The week before that, i lost 5 kgs just by lemon water fasting/less than 200 a day. Even tho it was prolly mostly water weight, my body should be in a fat burning and cells repairing state rn. The only thing that makes me worried is the amount of food i ate last week. If i ate 500 a day, it would prolly take me weeks to eat all of it.

#f4st1ng #3d f4st #f4st!ng #tw edtwt #sk1nny aesthetic #4n4blr #4n4rexia #4norexla #st4rv1ng #starv1ng #starv3 #⭐ve #⭐️ ing motivation #⭐ving #⭐️vation goals #⭐️rving #@na buddy #@n@ tips #@nor3×14 #f00d log #@na vent #th1nspi #th1n$pø #thinspø #m0tivati0n #ed relapse #tw ed but not sheeran #tw ed sheeran

[strqyr]

Sorry for bothering you but. Shoves my posts into your face. Oz parallels Darkness; he begs for humanity not to be punished for his actions like how Darkness didn't want the Jabberwalker punished for his. Destruction is not the enemy of Creation, destruction begets life (decay is an extent form of life), it's change. Oz embodies change to the highest degree and values it highly. He is demonized time and time again and he thinks he destroys everything he touches. He freely offers knowledge and especially choice. (<- this is all also why I think an allusion of his is Lucifer) Not only that, but he freely offers magic as well.

I just. Gestures wildly. Oz parallels Darkness so heavily that I'm so willing to bet that once Oz and Salem actually Talk, and Salem says something she believes about him, that he'll say "Is that truly what you think of me?" Or some form to parallel The Two Brothers. If he doesn't I'll fucking eat my hat and I don't even have one

yeah, oz definitely has more parallels with darkness than he does with light. like, while the gods don't embody only one specific gift, darkness is still associated more with destruction, and that is where oz's curse comes to play: he lives, he dies, and he reincarnates into a body of a like-minded soul, and with each life he's changed.

and i think what makes it even more poignant is that. . . it didn't necessarily have to be that way? if ozma's first reincarnation is anything to go by, he could have just taken over and remained unchanged, but he learned to live with each of his hosts, living their lives as much as they lived his.

in general i find oz's relationship with each gift quite fascinating. he uses the sword to end the bloodiest war in the history of remnant, and in the aftermath brings change. he uses the staff to raise atlas, making using it again quite a hurdle, highlighting the stagnancy of creation without destruction. he established the academies, institutions of knowledge and learning, but keeps the same secret close to his chest that brought him despair when he got his answer from jinn. he offers choice and encourages others to think it through instead of taking the first answer (as much as the circumstances were awful, at the time), but it is slightly undermined by the knowledge he keeps to himself that may or may not influence the choices others make.

and so much of it is informed by his own past, his own experiences, his own fear of what might happen that at times "slows" him down, where he doesn't quite follow the gifts as they should, while also following them in a different manner.

and, idk, it somehow makes me think of V9 and balance that isn't two forces locked in never-ending battle, but an ecosystem, an organism, a living breathing thing, that will find its own equilibrium, only requiring love and patience to see things through to the end.

and it's just. oz. that's oz, in a way. yes he's made mistakes and missteps along the way, but especially now that he's with oscar, he's closer than ever to finding the true balance, me thinks—and that's why it worries me that they were both fighting against the merge because that's. that's two (or more) forces locked in a battle of balance. "thus, balance cannot be restored with force or calculations" y'all i am concerned.

. . .where was i. i feel i got off the track lmao but yeah. yeah, i honestly think the like. biggest turn of events or something, words escape me, comes from salem because there's something she doesn't know about oz. it's the same as with everyone else—including ozma himself—learning about salem's immortality, just this time it's time for salem to learn something that changes her view of oz and that's where, yeah, something akin to "is that truly what you think of me?" might come out.

#rwby #ozma #nightmare-foundation #ask.strqyr #also it's no bother and sorry for taking a while to answer #my life has been taken over by hades 2 lol

[yellowhollyhock]

so. Roman writes a script for an episode that he knows is good. He's very excited. He feels like he finally did something right.

Shows it to Logan. Gets it back all marked up.

accidentally got long

It starts a big fight. Easy for us to imagine how this goes because they have this or adjacent fights all the time.

Janus is on Roman's side which would make Roman more angry. Virgil is on Logan's side which hurts especially (idk if there's new content but last I know Roman and Virgil were pretty much the only consistently getting along, maybe Janus and Remus idk). Remus is there for a good time (see Roman's ideas are not good you should use mine). Patton manages to hurt everyone's feelings by taking Roman's side but sounding unsure about it (poor little guy is trying so hard to take care of everyone).

Roman has some good points: why is Logan criticizing his work when it's going to be reviewed by the writing team anyway? Isn't the most important thing at this stage for Thomas to be excited about his own ideas?

Virgil probably gets a little defensive here, like okay wow I'm sorry that Thomas can't always feel great and excited about his creations all the time. Did you even think about how much worse it would be if it was the writing team making all these corrections instead of Thomas doing it within his own head?

And then something clicks for Logan. All these corrections? What do you mean?

And now Virgil's defending Roman as best he can and still be honest with himself. You did kinda rip into it, Teach. I know you're holding is to a high standard but geez, look at all this red ink

Logan: Huh. It sounds as if the two of you think that because I marked it excessively, I disapproved of the script.

Thomas, glancing between them: Well yeah that's usually what red ink means (?)

Logan: No--I mean, yes, but this isn't high school. We're working at a higher level here.

Roman: And now you're calling me a high schooler?

Logan *adjusts glasses*: I specifically said this isn't high school. It is true that, especially for beginning writers, revision marks are usually an indication of

m i s t a k e s

Logan: Wow. As I was saying, Roman is not a beginning writer. I marked the text so excessively because I was engaging with the text. Seeing as it is, in fact, a draft, and will be submitted to peers for review, it is important that Thomas i prepared to discuss the material.

And they're all huh wha? but he wrote it tho?

Logan: Yes, but it's my job to take it from a daydream to a plan. If you read my notes, you would find--

Patton: Red ink!

Logan, thrown off: Yes, that's--we've established that I've made marks--

Virgil, recognizing an Epiphany from the Heart when he sees one: What are you getting at, Patton?

Patton: I mean, this isn't high school anymore!

Logan: Okay, you're just reiterating what I've said.

Patton: Sorry, what I mean is--when Thomas was in school, revision wasn't really treated as part of the creative process--it was a judgment from an authority figure, like a teacher! Or a parent

Logan, now interested: What are you getting at, Patton?

Patton: Thomas has a negative emotional reaction to the color red in that context.

Roman: But that's ridiculous!

Janus: Red has more positive connotations than negative. That's basic color theory :3

Virgil: Don't.

Remus: BLOODY BODY DRAGGED ACROSS THE FLOOR OF THE CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL

Patton is horrified

Logan, annoyed: Patton, you were saying?

Patton: Oh! Glitter pens!

Thomas: Glitter pens?

Roman: Glitter pens?! Now is not the moment for a consolation prize!

Logan: Oh, that's actually quite brilliant, Patton.

Virgil: What??

Logan: As I was saying, way back at (time stamp) before I was I N T E R R U P T E D, if you were to look at the notes I've made, you would find things circled that were phrased particularly well that I believe should go untouched to the final draft.

Roman: ... we would?

Logan: You would also find extensive notes on how the things you've implied in this script fit into the larger lore, which you have done particularly well this time.

Roman: Oh, I, uh--

Logan: I've noted places where we could have an opportunity to research a topic you've touched on and elaborate further, if the run time permits. If not we could possibly link relevant articles.

Roman: ... Oh.

Logan: Of course, minor grammar mistakes or small inconsistencies are also marked, but you do make a valid point there were not many of them this time.

Patton: So if we started color coding the different things Logan does when he revises, we could get Thomas to start thinking about the revision process differently!

Roman: Logan, I'm so sorry, I've been approaching this all wrong. I felt like you weren't even looking at my contributions or giving them a fair chance, and the truth is that's exactly what I was doing to you.

Logan: I appreciate you acknowledging that, Roman.

anyways the whole reason I put this on tumblr and not ao3 is because it has been sitting about here for uh. years now. So yeah they color code things and it helps Logan feel like he has a place in the creative process and also helps Roman not to take feedback so personally

#writing #fic ideas #sanders sides #revision process #sometimes the simplest solutions are the best #what if i just made them all talk things out calmly and listen to each other #i think they're allowed to be emotionally intelligent with all the time they devote to introspection #now when thomas has to interact with other people. maybe that's a dofferent story

[lostcauses-noregrets]

Do you think Levi's ending is a happy ending?Personally i'm not sure tbh, we saw him being really close with Gabi and Falco which is very sweet, It's good to know they're taking care of him . But honestly I still wonder how the rest of his life will look like? I wish we would see more of how he's dealing with grief in this new world where he doesn't have to fight anymore, like obviously he's still helping people as we saw so he still has something to keep him going, but still.

Anonymous asked:

I think what bothers me about the new ending (for Levi) is that isayama kinda portrayed things only in a happy and hopeful light, like he didn't show us any bad days in Levi's new life so it feels kind of unrealistic? Idk how to describe it, but I liked the manga ending more in regards to that I think. Like I want Levi to be happy but it's just hard to imagine after everything that happened, after losing Erwin and everything the manga and Isayama told us how he felt after losing him.

I hope you don't mind me answering these asks together, because they're both quite similar.

For a long time I was really ambivalent about the idea of Levi surviving and living on after he'd lost everyone he cared about and who cared for him, but I'm actually really happy with the way Isayama ended Levi's arc. I'm glad he found a new family with Gabi, Falco and Onyankopon, but I don't believe for one minute that he ever forgot Erwin, or Hanji, or any of the other people he lost. If there's one thing we know about Levi, it's that he is loyal to a fault and that he never forgets.

I'm not sure I agree that Isayama only portrayed Levi's ending in a happy and hopeful light, especially when you look at the way he changed the ending multiple times. The original manga ending, which showed Levi sightseeing with Gabi, Falco and Onyankopon was very cute but it always struck me as being rather incongruous considering the devastation the Rumbling caused. I thought the anime ending was much more realistic where we saw Levi and his found family in a refugee camp with the remnants of humanity that survived the slaughter. And although the setting of Bad Boy is hopeful, with Levi and the others working together to plant trees and restore the environment, there can be no doubt that it must have been back breaking work. Also the story that Levi shares with Gabi and Falco clearly shows that he hasn't entirely escaped the trauma of his past.

I agree that it would have been really moving if Isayama had explored the impact of trauma and grief on Levi's later life, however given that he made it clear he was done with the series, I'm not surprised he didn't want to go there. Thankfully there are plenty of fic writers who are more than willing to explore these themes. The Permanence of the Young Men and A Good Man are my attempts to acknowledge Levi's grief and sacrifice, and his remembrance of Erwin, while still doing justice to his life with Gabi and Falco (I hope). There are many others too; there are 129 Eruri fics on AO3 tagged post-canon that you can explore.

#asks #levi ackerman #gabi braun #falco grice #erwin smith #lostcauses fic #eruri #snk

[letstrywritingmaybe]

I’m really missing fluff for my ship. Like just cute moments with no drama. Honestly I just need more fics where he’s swooning over my queen. I’m not fond of messy situations despite writing some. Sure sometimes the story is intriguing and there’s so many emotions, but it’s mostly frustrating and I hate it. My fav has been through so much already, I just want the rest of her life to go smoothly, just let her live and be happy. No stress or worries, I want her to freely love and be loved in return

Addition that’s not really related but I didn’t want to make a new post:

I’m gonna be alone for a few days and I’m hoping I’ll be productive but man, times like this I really hate that I’m so extroverted. I’m feeling blue and I want to cry, but nothing’s really wrong. I just don’t well on my own. I tend to spiral and get too into my head. I really thought I would be free from a sad bitch summer vibe this time *sigh

Update: I did not work on CoAi week but I did look over the June prompts again and got my sister to laugh so I think that’s a win. It’s so dumb, I’m so dumb, but you know what? It’s my birth month so I’m gonna do whatever I want (I say as if I don’t strictly write self indulgent fics)

#believe it or not I despise love triangles because it’s always my ship or nothing for me #I don’t want to hear about another ship. I don’t care how much love there is it’s not my ship #I can be open to shipping Shiho with others though I usually don’t #but for shinichi it’s literally Shiho or no one. I refuse to read fics where he’s with someone else #like even for a little bit I hate it. not allowed in my world but I’m also low key a hater #idk I just don’t like fics where he always has the upper hand #it’s very annoying to me. sure he’s the main character and the hero but really. be for real #not that I want him to fail cause you want to root for the main guy #but it really does make me not care about him as much when everything always turns out just fine for him #so yeah I’m a hater cause I hate plot armor. it’s just not realistic and I get it doesn’t have to be #but idk it’s just my feelings. I like when things are more believable #even though I strictly write happy endings for my ships *sigh I just need more fluff #cynply rambling

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Not sure if this theory makes any sense at all but I'm starting to believe that there's no time skip between Wally's phone calls and what we see/hear in the show's Media/Merchandise. If we see the Toyland call being made before the Homewarming episode then it would make sense that Wally's expecting Barnaby to come over soon. As well as the Homewarming sketch from the prior update. (I don't know, still kind of brainstorming this perspective)

that theory Does make sense and i've been considering it! the "timeline" is such a nebulous thing right now because we still... don't really know! there are too many variables and too many Maybes for any solid answer.

maybe the reality that the neighbors live in exists outside of time like you say, and like half of me suspects. there's so much reality fuckery already present, but I'm also... unsure of how much merit this holds given what we know / can infer about how time passes in Home. i'm putting this theory on a low shelf to look at but not prioritize

maybe it really has been 50 years, and Barnaby is either still around / Wally is still in contact with him, or Barnaby... isn't there. who knows, maybe Wally was just verbalizing some Wishful Thinking. i mean, Wally is a bit of an unreliable narrator, isn't he? we can't assume that everything he says is entirely accurate or truthful. and i mean, if it's been 50 years it makes sense that Wally would be pushing for connection / to revive WH. who knows how long he's been trying.

hm... i mean. it could be a mix of that and the Outside Of Time theory. who knows, maybe W is receiving calls from different points in the timeline - Wally may have started out just calling, and has just graduated to invading the WH website / getting pushy with the envelopes and media that's been sent to the WHRP. maybe Wally got tired of waiting for W to respond before W was even born. who's to say!

#i mean. idk the emphasis wally puts on Its So Quiet makes my brain tilt its head #it feels like wally breaking composure before he pastes the Facade back on with '-during homewarming' #that and just the way he phrased 'everyones usually so busy so its just me and home for a long while' #Usually so busy. Usually. why not Always? or Is? #usually. #and then the 'its just me and home for a long while' #the phrasing here has Connotations i think! #homebogging #welcome home speculation #wh speculation #OF COURSE. I HAVE TO DEBUNK MYSELF! #what we hear / see from Wally is - ironically - more genuine than the WHRP's or W's recovered media (save the eddie excerpts) #the WH media shows us the ideal homewarming - where everyone is getting into the spirit and spending time together and the like #but then wally could be telling us what homewarming is Really like - lonely. quiet. #WHICH MAKES SENSE THEMATICALLY! and it mirrors how christmas time is. its marketed as this joyful thing that brings people together #when in reality its lonely and stressful. i know i certainly never feel more lonely than i do at that time of year! #so there's just. layers. right now im simultaneously believing in the time discrepancy And them existing outside of time #im leaning on the first one but you know! #BUT!!! IM CONFIDENT THAT THE HOMEWARMING WALLY WAS CALLING FROM WAS NOT THE ONE WE SAW IN THE UPDATE. #wally spoke with enough familiarity about the time of year to make me think 'hes lived through many of these hasnt he' #it could be that time Has passed for the neighbors and its been many homewarmings. #it could be that it Started as what the commercials/update showed us. #but as time passed maybe it became a time where everyone just... Isolates for one reason or another. so now it's just quiet and lonely #im still rolling it all around in my head! many factors and implications to consider w/ this update! #Take All Of This With A Grain Of Salt As Usual!