“notice me”
luke castellan x aphrodite!reader (pt2 here)
content/trigger warnings: fem! reader, doesn’t follow the plot of tlt!, mentions of smut, sexual tension, manipulation?, groping, reader making luke jealous
a/n: the show has once again sparked up my love for the percy jackson book saga and charlie bushnell has me weakkk ughhh.. i normally don’t write for pjo characters but oh well, lmk if y’all want a continuation of this or just more luke castellan in general ;)
you had always been so used to being the center of attention. as a daughter of aphrodite, you had always been the most popular girl in school, and there was no shortage of boys falling for your charms
arriving at camp half-blood didn change that, nothing was different. except that, for the first time in your life, you found yourself chasing after the attention of a certain boy. luke castellan, the son of hermes and the head counselor of his cabin, he just wouldn’t fawn over you like the others would. despite your best efforts, luke had always remained indifferent to your constant flirting, leaving you feeling frustrated and determined to change his mind
you found yourself spending every waking moment trying to get his attention, trying to find some way to charm him and make him see you the way the other boys did. but no matter how hard you tried, luke remained distant and unimpressed
this week you were extremely busy, you were helping out in the infirmary, one of the apollo kids who usually worked in the infirmary had been sent on a quest and you were asked to fill in until they came back. juggling that with all your other responsibilities as counselor had you beyond occupied
during that week, annabeth barged in with two other guys; percy and luke. apparently their sparring session had gone a little out of hand and they were both injured
luke was already aware of how you’ve been trying to get his attention these past few years. he actually seems to quite like having you, the most fawned over girl at camp, fawning over him instead. he liked the attention you gave him, though he knew that if he ever gave in to your charms you would stop, so he didn’t
he was fully prepared and expected you to be the one to tend to him, so when he sees you head to percy and tend to him while an apollo girl tended to him he was confused
what happened? why would you choose percy over him? we’re you tired of him? did you give up on trying to win him over? luke’s confusion quickly turned to frustration, and he couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy as he watched you tend to percy’s wounds
"how are you feeling, percy?" you asked, giving him a warm smile, one that always had the boys weak in the knees. "n-not great, but i’ll manage" he laughed awkwardly, suddenly nervous. you put your hand on his shoulder, giving it a small squeeze "oh, i’m sure you’ll live”
out of the corner of your eye, you saw luke. he was watching you, watching the way you cared for percy. this was the first time you had ever caught him staring at you with such intensity
so you’re plan was working. you had tried everything to get his attention and you had only one trick left in your arsenal; jealosy. no boy is immune to jealousy, and that was exactly how you were gonna get him
in the end, all you had to do was throw some water at percy and he was good to go. luke though, he had to spend the night in the infirmary
the other apollo kid had left a few minutes ago, something about ‘having other things to do’. so it was just luke and you in the infirmary. you walk over to luke's bed and start tending to his wounds
“oh so now you wanna take care of me? how nice of you” he speaks, sarcasm dripping from his words. “you can tough it out, can't you?" you tease, dabbing away at his cuts with an alcohol-soaked cotton ball. luke is watching you intently and you can feel the tension in the room increasing, his eyes fixated on your hands as you work
luke’s eyes narrow, and you can see the rage boiling beneath the surface. he’s frustrated, jealous, and he doesn't know what to do with all these emotions. you’ve never seen him like this before, and it's a thrill to know that you have the power to make him feel this way
you try to ignore the tense atmosphere in the room, focusing instead on luke's wounds. you finish cleaning and bandaging the cut on his wrist, holding it up to your face to land a soft kiss on the bandages. “all done” you whisper. he tenses at the feeling of your soft lips, and you can see the anger in his eyes. however, you can also see a hint of something else— desire
you look up at him with a smile, knowing that you've got him right where you want him. his eyes are locked on your every movement. you know that you have him wrapped around your finger, and it's a delicious feeling of power
luke’s expression is one of confusion, a mix of rage and desire. he wants you, and he wants to hate you at the same time. it’s a weird combo, but it's working for you.
you lean closer to him, your lips inches away from each other. you can feel his breath on your skin, the heat of his body as he's lying there
"you’re not stopping me" you state, breaking the silence. it’s a quiet, soft whisper, filled with a tiny bit of amusement
"maybe.. maybe i don’t want you to stop" he says, his eyes locked on yours, voice low and husky. you can see the desire building in him, how his gaze trails down to your lips
luke’s breathing quickened, and he could feel his heart pounding in his chest. he knew that this was a game for you, a game where you would always be determined to win him over, but now, in this very moment, he felt like he was losing
he lets out a hiss of frustration, of desire, of... something. he’s sure knows that you're proud of it, but he’s not quite sure what to do about it
you leaned in for the kiss, your lips pressing gently against his, your hand running through his hair. you could feel his body tensing, his hands gripping your waist as he attempted to pull you on top of him
you pull away from the kiss slowly, your lips still pressed to his. luke is still trying to catch his breath, his eyes fixed on yours, searching for any hint of what your next move will be
"not bad" you whisper. "you’re playing a dangerous game here” he chuckles lowly, making your lower regions throb. you smirk softly and brush his hair out of his face “i’ll take my chances”
despite being injured, he pulls you on top of him, making you realize just how hard he’s been this whole time. his eyes are dark, and you can see the lust burning within them
you lean in for another kiss, this one soft and gentle. luke groans when he feels you grind against him, his hands moving down to grab hold of your ass
“i need you s’bad” he mutters out. you smirk as you slide off him, making him furrow his brows in confusion. you land a soft kiss on his cheek. “let’s do this when you’re not injured” you whisper in his ear. now he was alone and hard in the infirmary, how nice
© MINARINNN 2024 - please do not plagiarize or upload my content on any social media platform.
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Each Other
Natasha Romanoff x Female Reader
You always know what Natasha needs
Note: it’s just some soft stuff. Enjoy!
Natasha Masterlist 1, Natasha Masterlist 2, Natasha Masterlist 3, Main Masterlist
“Hey baby,” you say as you lean on the doorframe of Natasha’s home office.
She spins around in her chair and smiles up at you. You never tire of seeing that beautiful grin.
“Are you saying hi to me or the actual baby?” She jokes.
“Both of you.”
You walk further into the room and make grabby hands for your six month old daughter. Nat hands her to you, knowing she’s hungry and wants to see her other mom.
You kiss her forehead and hold her against your shoulder. She presses her head against your neck and whines softly.
“I know, sweetheart,” you coo, trying to soothe her a bit. “Are you coming, Mama?”
“Soon,” Nat replies. “I need to finish up a few things.”
“Don’t take too long please.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”
You share another smile with your wife and leave to go feed your baby girl. The process takes a while, but the bonding is very much worth it. She is ready to burp by the time Natasha makes it to her nursery.
“Let me do it,” she says. “You’re still work clothes and we both know this girl will spit up all over you.”
“Thank you, honey,” you reply. She usually makes fun of the pet names but today she doesn’t say anything.
She helps the little girl burp and does in fact get covered in spit up in the process of doing so.
“You okay?” You ask her.
“Oh yeah, I love being covered in this,” Nat says dryly, but not seriously.
You take Ali back and feed her more. Nat sits on the arm of the rocking chair you’re sitting in.
“No, I mean are you okay?” You ask, placing a hand on her thigh. “You haven’t teased me about the pet names since I’ve been home today.”
“I know,” she says. “I think I’m too exhausted. I’m sorry.”
Her voice sounds distant and worse for wear. You hate seeing her like this.
“Hey, come on baby tell me what’s going on,” you say. “It’s just me.”
“It’s nothing.”
“Natasha,” you warn. She knows she needs to just be honest. You already can tell something is off with her.
“The team needs me to go on a mission,” Nat admits.
“Oh.”
“And I know we discussed me having a whole year of desk work once Ali was born,” Nat continues. “But this one is just out of my control. I’ve been working overtime to try and figure a way to get the intel I need without going.”
“But it’s not working,” you finish for her.
“No it’s not,” she agrees. “I’m so frustrated.”
“Natasha, you can’t always fix everything.”
“But I want to,” she says unreasonably.
“I know, baby. It’s going to be okay.”
You lean your head against her arm. It’s the best you can do for now as you juggle an eating baby in your arms.
Ali finishes and Nat takes her back into her arms. You go to the living room to sit together. Nat puts Ali in her play chair.
You two sit together and watch her giggle and play.
“Call Steve and the team,” you say after a few minutes. “Tell them you’ll go on the mission.”
“But-“
“No buts,” you interrupt her. “I can handle baby girl. And you won’t rest until you’ve figured this out.”
“You know I love you, right?” Nat asks.
“And you know I love you, right?” You counter.
“It’s one of the few things I’m sure of these days,” Nat says.
“Come here, Natasha,” you say, holding out your arms for her to fully snuggle into.
You kiss her lips softly before she snuggles into your chest. You hold her tight for as long as she wants.
Everything will be okay as long as you have each other.
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AU of Gotham! Tim Drake! Danny where he doesn’t know the universe he was reincarnated into.
“Robin!” Batman barked. Tim sighed, loudly. Batman twitched.
“What is it, B?”
“Drills. Again.”
Tim rolled his eyes but moved to obey. Speaking to B these days was like speaking to a rather boorish caveman. Simple grunts and single word sentences. It didn't use to be like this but B was loosing his grip on his humanity and it’s Tim’s job to bring it back.
It’s hilarious because he’s the least human of them all. It was odd, juggling his duties as Danny Gotham, his responsibilities as Tim, and his workload as Bruce’s shiny new Robin. Somehow he made it work.
Yeah, sometimes B’s hands are heavy when they’re training. Sometimes he forgets Danny’s name (or at least his human name) and calls for Jason instead. Sometimes, he smells more like booze and less like Bruce.
Danny could handle it. Even if his core quivers with grief. He wished he didn’t have to, but he could and will handle whatever he needs to for his Knight to regain himself. But fuck, that doesn’t mean taking his self destructive habits lying down. He might be Tim right now, but as far as Batman knew, Tim was here on the orders of
“B.”
“Hm.”
Oh, a neutral grunt! I see we’ve upgraded to grunts instead of arm flapping! Holy detective, Batman! Aren’t I glad I learned to speak cave man? Wow! Tim mocked, in his head.
“You’re heading to bed when I’m done with this set,” Tim said.
“This case isn’t done,” Batman growled. Ancients, it was like speaking to a large chihuahua-toddler hybrid. All the barking, all the growling, and all the petulance of a child makes the entirety of how his Knight acted on a good day these days.
“That wasn’t a suggestion,” Tim shot back, sore arms and legs and everything working through the set. Thank the ancients for his healing, or else Tim might actually be dying.
“You don’t give me orders, Robin.”
“No, but Gotham does.” He would know, considering Tim was Gotham.
The head full of greasy- ew, take a shower, B!- hair swiveled towards him.
“You have a direct line to Gotham?”
Tim settled into the final forms of the night. “Gotham sent me. I thought we went over this.”
A beat of silence.
Batman returned to clacking away at the computer. Tim finished his set in relative peace. He moved to the cool down stretches while Batman sulked in front of his computer like a five year old.
“I’m done.” He said, crossing his arms.
“Hm.”
“That means you’re done, too.”
“I’m not tired.”
Tim rolled his eyes so hard, he thinks he saw the light. Oh, wait, that’s just Bruce’s last brain cell dying.
“You’re heading to bed. Good luck finding actual crime tomorrow, if you stay up.”
Batman stilled, because he knows Gotham would back Tim up on the threat. Considering the time sensitivity of some of these cases, Gotham’s anger is not something he could risk.
Tim patted himself on the back for effectively playing the good cop and the bad cop on his own. Except ACAB for life because they’re vigilantes and the GCPD as a whole (with exceptions) sucks ass.
He watched as Batman- as Bruce- reluctantly powered down the Bat-Computer. As he stood up, Tim wrinkled his nose.
“Never mind. You take a shower first. I’ll text Alfred.”
“Not necessary.”
“Okay, then you can explain to Gotham why you’re traipsing through his city looking a starved rat and smelling like you took a joy ride in Killer Croc’s excrement. Oh, wait.” Tim snapped, just about done being patient today. Tim whipped out his phone, texting Alfred with one hand and pointing towards the staircase with the other.
“Shower above ground, you weird little mole rat. No cave water for you.”
Bruce makes a weird offended grunt.
“I literally don’t care if you have to walk up to your room to shower in your boxers, B. Most of Gotham’s people don’t have access to a shower, let alone a million dollar bathroom. Fucking use your actual bathroom instead of hosing off.”
And with that, Batman and Bruce Wayne moved to the tune of a pre-teen, who was also, unknowingly to him, the spirit of his City.
——
“Go home.”
Tim smiled sweetly. Bruce paled. The scary, Gotham loved child patted Bruce’s hand as he sat beside Bruce’s bed.
“Sleep, before I make you.”
Bruce slammed his eyelids shut, anything to not look at Tim’s malicious looking eyes, and allowed himself- nay, forced himself- to rest for the first time in weeks since Jason died.
As Bruce’s dumb self drifted off to dreamland, Tim muttered, “Wuss.”
He settled himself into the chair, napping lightly to make sure Bruce doesn’t sneak out to work when he’s gone.
Alfred snapped a quick picture.
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Owe It To You
Josh Futturman x fem!reader
WARNINGS: smut (mdni!), oral(f!recieving), fingering, clit play, female anatomy on reader
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you were tired, to say the least.
going back in time, checking on the future to the same, demented outcome, really took a toll on you guys. it always seemed as if every effort and alternative path taken for the future didn’t matter.
you were lost in thought as tiger and wolf fought with each other, it was the same empty argument: wolf didn’t listen, tiger wanted control. it was draining to hear.
you all were in Joosh’s super house, taking a peek at how fucked up you all made this future. you left the living room in frustration, heading up to Joosh’s room.
you crashed onto the bed, covering your face with a pillow, letting out a low groan. you were tired of all the fighting, all the time travel, everything. you needed a break.
you heard a knock on the door, followed by a calming voice asking, “hey, you okay?”
you lifted the pillow from your face, seeing josh, peaking the door open, worry etched on his eyebrows. he knew how much of a toll this was starting to take on you, you guys were best friends, after all.
“yeah, just…tired, is all.” you half mumbled into the pillow, just loud enough so he could barely hear.
he leaned off the door and sat on the bed that you lay on. he scratched your head.
“something’s telling me there’s more to it than that.” he inquired.
“i don’t know…i guess i’m just tired of all this shit.” you began. “we try so hard to perfect the future, but are met with the same outcome. i’ve been trying to think left and right of new ideas…nothing’s working.”
he understood that this was only the tip of the iceberg, regarding your feelings for all this. when you got roped up into this mess, you left more behind than him. you left behind an internship you had busted your ass off for, and two other jobs, which you probably got fired from, due to your absence.
you had two different jobs just to meet ends meet, in your shitty apartment. sure, they were crappy, dead-end jobs, but they helped you get ends meet. you were somehow able to balance those along with your internship which you fought so hard to get.
all down the drain.
in a way, it was relieving, not having to juggle all of this, living every day as a drained, sleep deprived zombie.
unfortunately, this scenario was just like everything else in your life: there was no way out.
“i know, i know…i really am sorry you got dragged into this. it’s all my fault.” josh sighed.
it had just been a fun night of you guys playing video games, finally beating this one you guys had been playing for…forever. once you guys were just hanging out and talking about it, in a flash of light, wolf and tiger had appeared, needing the people who beat the game’s help. immediately. you both were there, so they needed the both of you.
“it’s not your fault, josh…we did it together, we gotta get through this together.” it really wasn’t his fault. you didn’t want him to think that.
“no, it is. i’m constantly getting you roped into all the shit that happens in my life, and you’ve been working your ass off to fix this timeline. you deserve better.” josh stroked your hair.
you sat up. “it’s okay, josh. there’s nobody i’d rather fix the timeline with.”
“still, it’s not fair. all of this isn’t fair. let me…let me make it up to you.” he seemed a bit nervous and started hesitating on his words.
you started to feel a little hot. “how would you go about ‘making it up to me’, josh?”
you did not expect what he did next.
josh was this awkward gamer nerd who had never felt the touch of a woman before. he’d always been so out of place and nervous talking to anyone, which made it so weird to hear what he said next.
“let…let me make you feel good.” his hand laying on the bed crept closer to your thigh, covered by your pants.
you started to get a little nervous yet excited. you had never seen him be this bold before.
“you’ve been so stressed by everything in life, and i mean everything. a-and you never have anyone help you out with anything. i want to help you…feel good, like stress relief.” his pinkie played with the fabric of your pants.
you couldn’t believe this was real right now. josh, the one you had known for years, barely having the balls to talk to girls besides you, doing this. your mine was racing.
he noticed how quiet you were being. “o-of course you don’t have to let me do it if you don’t want to! it was just an idea, it was stupid, i don’t wanna make you uncomfortable or anythi-”
he was cut off by you kissing him, hand holding his jawline. he melted into the kiss.
as you pulled away, you smiled. “i…i think i do want this. please, josh. make me feel good.”
“okay…okay..” he started to trail off with his words as his thumb ran back and forth on your cheek. “before i do this, i just wanna let you know that if you’re uncomfortable, please tell me, and we’ll be done. won’t have to speak of it ever again. promise.”
he was very sweet. sure, he was awkward, but he put your comfort and pleasure first. it made you feel happy and safe.
he went back to softly kissing you as his hand went slightly under your shirt and rubbed your waist, just above your pants. soft, delicate touches.
as he unbuttoned your pants, he tapped your hips twice, signaling for you to lift them up. as you did, he tugged your pants down at an agonizingly slow pace. he was such a fucking tease.
his eyes became infatuated with your lace underwear you were wearing. the way it clung to your hips was driving him mad. he hoped you couldn’t tell how crazy you were making him. he toyed with the fabric as you smiled.
“as much as i love these,” he snapped them on your hips. “i’m gonna have to take them off. is that okay with you?”
you felt so safe, knowing how tender he was being. he didn’t want to fuck this up. you lifted your hips. “that’s more than okay with me, josh.” you played with a handful of his hair.
he dragged your panties down your legs, exposing your glistening cunt to him. he audibly gasped, he couldn’t believe he was doing this to you. sure, he always thought you were sweet, and even fantasized about doing things like this to you, but he didn’t think it’d ever happen.
he was lost in thought, staring at your cunt. you started to get insecure, closing your legs. “josh, stop staring.” you pleaded.
he shook his head. “sorry, you’re just…so beautiful. i can’t believe it.” he thumbed little circles on your inner thigh.
“can i…feel you? down there, i mean?” he asked. god, he was so awkward it was funny.
you nodded your head. “yeah. please.”
his fingers started inching closer and closer to where you needed them most. suddenly, he ran one through your slit, barely touching your clit. you shuddered. that felt good.
“fuck…you’re so wet. you’re so hot.” he ran his finger slowly around your clit, seeing if he’d get any reactions from you. you silently gasped.
“that..that felt really good. please keep doing that.” you felt so good right now. no guy had ever focused on making you feel good before. this was new. you liked it.
“god, please moan for me. love the little noises y’make.” josh was rubbing your clit a bit faster, making you let out a quiet moan.
“f..fuck. feels good. really good.” feeling that little area constantly stimulated was the ticket. you hadn’t felt this good in a long time.
“can i…can i put a finger in?” he asked, slowing down his aggression on your clit.
you furiously nodded your head, your pussy clamping down on nothing. wanting to be filled. by him.
“please, please josh.” you said, getting lost in the pleasure. you let out a grunt as he slowly inserted a finger inside you.
“fuck, it’s only one finger but you’re so tight, fuck.” he started to ramble as he moved his finger in your wetness. you squirmed a bit. it felt so good, his thick finger getting lost in you.
“m’ gonna put another one im, ‘kay?” he asked, prodding another finger to your tight hole. you nodded, to which he slowly put it in. you groaned at the tight stretch.
“you good?” he asked. he wanted this to be good for you. the last thing he wanted to do was hurt you.
“yeah, was just..new, was all. please keep going. feels good.” you went on.
he did just that. he curled his fingers inside you, pumping them at a quick pace. that, with stimulation he was putting from his thumb to your clit, was making you moan left and right. you felt something stirring inside you.
“god, you’re so cute like this…should’ve done this sooner.” he gushed, turning you on even more.
“fuck, m’close.” you panted.
as soon as the feeling met you, it left as he pulled his fingers out of you.
you looked up at him, confused. “why’d you do that?” you asked.
he started to sink down. “as much as i was getting into that, i wanna see you cum on my tongue.” he kissed your thighs.
you felt the wetness pool inside you even more once he said that. god, you couldn’t get that image out of your head now.
“please, fuck, josh. make me cum on your tongue.” you pleaded as he slowly trailed to your inner thighs, giving them a lot of attention. you had taken him for the thigh guy, but not to this extent.
“since you asked so nicely…” he lowered his head, taking a long lick to your cunt, you releasing a pornographic moan.
“fuck…feels s’good josh…oh my god.” you had never felt this type of pleasure anywhere, and here he was, giving it to you like his life depended on it.
he gave a light kiss to your clit before lightly tracing his tongue over it, testing the waters. once he heard you becoming a moaning mess, he licked it with more vigor, wanting to pull these moans out of you.
the stimulation felt like no other, him focusing on making out with your clit and entrance. he pulled your thighs closer to his face as he licked at more of your slick.
you pulled at his hair, letting out breathy moans. he groaned at this. hard. right into your cunt, which felt so fucking good. you could feel your back arch off the bed as he lapped into your juices, him tonguing your clit. your nails scratched at his scalp as that familiar pit in your stomach came back.
“josh…so close…holy shit.” you moaned as his tongue swirled around you.
“please, come on my face. please.” he pleaded. the vibrations his voice sent to your core sending you even closer. “wanna make you feel better than you ever have. come on my tongue.”
one final stroke of his tongue lead you to your peak, your thighs tightening around his face. you let out incoherent babbles as you came on him. he continued to lick you as you rode out your high.
once you calmed down, you looked down at him, catching your breath. he had slick all over his face and wore a dopey smile. “are you okay?” he asked.
“never better.” you replied. “that felt so fucking good josh. thank you. so much.” you caressed his cheek.
“i hope it’s not too weird to tell you i enjoyed that.” he had a slight tint of red on his cheeks.
“oh! not at all. it was amazing. i can’t thank you enough.” you smiled, laying onto the pillow.
“no, i can’t thank you enough. you always stay by my side and always fix my messes. this is the least that i could do.” he said as he handed you a glass of water that was sitting on the nightstand, which you took.
“i’ll always be here for you, if you ever wanna do shit like this again, or even something soothing like a massage.” he added.
you put the glass of water down, hugging him. “you’re so sweet, josh. i appreciate it so much. you’re such a good person, i really hope you know that.”
“anything else you need?” he asked.
“take a nap with me for awhile?” you asked. you had gotten very sleepy.
“of course.” he get under the covers, cuddling you and stroking your hair. “i’ll do anything for you, i hope you know that.”
you nuzzled into his chest, getting comfortable. “you too, joshy.” you mumbled as you started to fall into a deep sleep.
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a/n: hi guys first(ish) post. hope u enjoyed :p pls send requests as well! i’m so bad at ideas
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can i request a one shot where reader has been friends with everyone in cousins for a while and has been around to see everything happen (susannah dying, the love triangle between belly, conrad and jere). fast forward to when conrad leaves the motel, he goes to reader after and they end up falling for eachother over time and reader shows conrad the love and support he deserves, and understands what he’s going through💞
A bit short, but I'm in a spooky autumn mood and these characters scream summer. Please send spooky/autumn requests
my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time
—
‘’She chose him and now I can’t fucking breathe,’’ Conrad said as you sat together on your couch. He rubbed his chest with the heel of his palm and your heart shattered.
He had showed up at your door unannounced a little over an hour ago, backpack over his shoulder and looking like he'd been run over by a truck. His eyes were red, like he had been crying. You took him inside without asking questions, knowing he needed a shoulder to lay his tired head on.
You listened as Conrad recounted everything that happened since they took the road to Brown. His plan to tell Belly he still loved her. The kiss against his car. The motel.
‘’I gave her so many signs that I still loved her, but she didn't hear me. She could have turned this around and we could have fixed our relationship, but she chose Jere. So I let her go.’’
You reached out to squeeze his hand, the one that wasn’t on his chest.
The situation between Belly and the Fisher boys was incredibly messy. She was your friend and you could understand that feelings were difficult at that age, but juggling between Conrad and Jeremiah’s hearts was just hurtful for everyone involved. Just because she was confused with who she wanted, who she loved, didn’t mean she had to get a taste of both before making a choice.
Conrad released a shaky breath, trying to control his emotions and not have another panic attack. ‘’I’m sorry for dumping all of this on you. I didn’t know where else to go…’’
You shook your head, dismissing his apologies. ‘’I’d rather you come and pour your little heart out to me than go through everything on your own and mope.’’
‘’I don’t mope by myself—’’
You raised an eyebrow playfully, cutting him off.
‘’Maybe I do…’’ he conceded with a defeated sigh.
Keeping everything inside had always been Conrad's way of coping. He rarely talked to anyone about himself or how he felt. It wasn't the healthiest approach, and you knew it, but you also understood that you couldn't force him to open up.
‘’Do you have a place to stay tonight?’’
Conrad sank deeper into the couch cushions, having not thought ahead. When he left the motel, he told his brother he was going to take a bus to Cousins to get the summer house back together, but he impulsively came here instead.
‘’You can stay if you want. There’s no one in the guest room,’’ you offered.
‘’Thanks. For real.’’ He gave you a soft smile, grateful for everything. ‘’I don’t know what I would’ve done today if you had not been there.’’
‘’I’m always gonna be there for you, Con,’’ you promised, returning a smile. ‘’Right now, it might be raining, but there'll be happiness after her. Someone will turn your gray sky and paint it blue again.’’
—
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hi idk if your still doing requests but can I request ( this is super angsty btw!) a Clarisse fanfic where the reader is the daughter of Poseidon and there like absolutely in love with eachother like soulmates but then the reader dies during the war and clarisse can’t handle it and dies too like Romeo and Juliet
Hi! Thank you so much for your request!! Hopefully you like it :)) My requests are also still open for every fandom I write for!
Main Taglist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187, @nyx2021, @thestarspangledcaptain, @kmc1989
Percy Jackson Taglist: @niktwazny303
Clarisse La Rue Taglist: @peanutbelley, @abbersreads
Clarisse loved you and you loved her, it had always been as simple as that. It was a known fact around camp, that the only person that could calm Clarisse down or make her smile brighter than the sun was you, the daughter of Poseidon.
Being demigods was a challenge in itself, but when the war started it became even trickier, filled with losses. By the second week of the war there were more flowers surrounding camp half-blood then students in it, to honor the lost ones. Because even if they were forgettable in the eyes of the Gods, they weren’t in the eyes of their fellow half-bloods.
It had been tough for Clarisse and you, juggling the war, your friends, your siblings and yourselves but you had gotten through it. Clarisse had been your rock during everything, and you couldn’t imagine a world without her, it would be like everything was wrong.
“We need to be careful,” Clarisse whispers in the early sunshine of the morning, running her fingers along your skin.
“We will, it will all be alright Clar,” you tell her, hoping to reassure the Ares girl, she had lost one of her half-siblings the day before and it had taken a toll on her.
“Let’s hope our fathers will protect us,” she whispers, like a child scared of saying something, as if saying it out loud would jinx it.
“They will, just like the Gods will try to help us if they can,” you whisper back, even if deep down you know that it isn’t true, that the Gods will turn a blind eye on everything that happened and on every child that lost their lives in their feud.
You don’t know how long the both of you stay there, lying in each other’s arms and whispering sweet nothings but you enjoy it, basking in the love that surrounds you.
“I’m sorry to interrupt but we need to go,” you suddenly hear Percy say, and you turn around to find your little brother looking at you with a sad smile. He looked so much older already then when you first met him two years ago, a part of you feels sad that he already had to go through so much at a young age. But he had his mother, Sally Jackson, who had seen you as her daughter from the moment she met you.
“We’ll be there in five minutes,” Clarisse tells him, and he nods in agreement before softly closing the door and letting you change.
You do your usual routine, helping each other getting ready while exchanging kisses through it all and before you know it you need to leave to help the others.
The battlefield is a mess, people screaming left and right, monsters running after children who are far too young to be here. You don’t have time to take out your sword before Clarisse kisses you softly on the mouth.
“I’ll see you later?”, she whispers, and you nod in agreement, a loving smile on your lips.
“See you later,” you tell her before kissing her back and whispering a soft I love you.
You see Percy in the distance but before you are able to go towards him a minotaur steps into your vision and you get ready to kill some more monsters, hoping desperately that these will be your last ones. It’s a long time before you get a minute to breathe, trying to ignore the ringing in your ears and looking around for someone you know.
Percy looks tired, and there is a panicked look as he helps Annabeth to a safe place, the girl seemed to have gotten her leg cut. You start walking away, hoping that maybe Clarisse could be somewhere close but before you can turn around you see a Chimera starting to walk towards the pair, who still looked too busy with each other to notice anything else.
You don’t think about it, you just start to run towards them, hoping desperately that you will get there in time and just as the Chimera gets ready to open her mouth to breath out fire you slice your sword into her leg, getting her attention towards you.
It wails in pain before turning her eyes towards you with a sick determination, you try to get your breathing right, but you hear Percy scream your name.
“Get Annabeth to safety, I’ll be alright!”, you tell him, and the boy looks unsure for a moment before giving into your pleading eyes and helping Annabeth to get to the other side of the road.
The Chimera doesn’t give you any time to think your decision through before it charges towards you. You manage to escape it a few times, burning a car or two and bruising your skin as you roll away from her attacks. But as you try to get another hit at her she hits you with her paw, making you land ten feet away, your back hitting an abandoned car.
You try to breathe again, your back hurting from the hit but just as you try to reach for your sword a couple of feet away the Chimera is already in front of you. You try to move away, willing your body to move but you can’t move anymore and the only thing you can do is pray to your father.
But even as fire hydrants explode around you, trying to scare off the creature, her paw lifts up and slashes right through your stomach making you scream in pain for the first time in your life. You wonder for a moment if this is it, before the Chimera disappears in front of your eyes, a heaving Percy looking at you with wide eyes.
“Percy,” you whisper and your brother rushes to your side, blue eyes flickering between your wound and your face.
“We need to find you water, we need to heal you,” he whispers as he starts looking around the streets like a madman and as he tries to get up to go and find some sort of water you take his hand to stop him.
“It won’t help,” you tell him, but Percy shakes his head, always the hero, trying to work things out.
“We can find something, alright, we need to!”, he says, his voice wavering over the words and his blue eyes gets darker with the tears that are welling up.
“Percy, it’s okay,” you tell him, just like when he used to apologize for climbing into your bed after a nightmare. A tear rolls down his cheek and you take his hand in yours, only managing it after the second try.
“What about Clarisse? What about everything we had planned this summer?”, Percy says, and you feel pained at the sight of his tears, his pain. He had been through too much and you never wanted to be another pain that he had to bear, another loss.
“I’ll be there, somehow, with you. You won’t get rid of me that easily,” you tell him, and a sob leaves his lips, breaking your heart.
“How?”, he whispers as he holds onto your hand for dear life.
“Through the rain pouring down on New York, through the countless rivers and oceans surrounding you, through the blue food that you will see. I’m not leaving you Percy, I’ll always be there somewhere, cheering you on,” tears are streaming down your face, but you still try to reassure your brother.
“I love you,” he says and your heart breaks as you realize that this really is the last time you will hear that from him.
“I love you too little brother,” you tell him with a soft smile, squeezing his hand three time.
Before you can say anything else you hear your name being screamed, Clarisse.
“What happened?”, she asks as she arrives, her hair all over the place after having fought some monsters.
“A Chimera,” Percy says, and she looks determined, but her hands are shaking, telling you that she is scared.
“Well, we can find some water, right? Fix you up,” she says, looking all over the place as if she is hoping that an ocean of water will appear, but you shake your head slowly.
“It’s too late,” you whisper and for a moment she says nothing, simply looking into your eyes.
“No, no, no, no, you promised me you would be alright, that you would be safe,” she says, her voice filled with desperation as she looks over you and you smile sadly.
“I’m sorry, I tried to beat it, but I couldn’t,” you whisper, and she shakes her head again, tears forming into her brown eyes.
“Don’t say that. It wasn’t your fault,” she says, and you smile softly before taking her hand into your other one.
“It’s going to be okay,” you tell her, but she shakes her head, a tear rolling down her cheek.
“It won’t, I can’t live without you,” she whispers, and you feel tears falling down your cheeks at her words.
“I love you so much,” you whisper, and she closes her eyes, looking pained at the words.
“I love you too princess, never forget that” she tells you and you smile at the words.
“Never, I’ll always remember,” you whisper, and she nods quickly.
“Good, now focus on Percy and I,” you nearly tell her that she has never called your brother Percy but you don’t, you can’t as you start seeing dark spots before your eyes.
“I think it’s time,” you tell them, and you just feel them squeeze your hand, Percy mumbling words you can’t hear but a kiss on your forehead makes you smile, you always used to do it to him.
“Clarisse?”, you whisper, and the girl kisses your forehead too, staining your forehead with her tears.
“I’m right here princess,” you hear her say, her voice breaking over the words.
“I’m scared,” you whisper, and you hear a sob leaving Percy’s mouth, and a couple of tears fall down your forehead.
“It will all be alright, I’ll be right by your side,” she tells you and you let out a sigh at her words.
You want to say something else, but the darkness takes over, taking you with her as you hear comforting words being whispered, hands holding yours.
--
Clarisse can’t stop crying as she feels her girlfriend’s pulse die down against her hand, the hand that was holding on to her so tightly is now laying limp into hers. Percy is sobbing into his hands, cursing his father through the sobs and Clarisse wants to do the same but the only thing she can do is sob louder.
She didn’t know how she was going to survive without you, she just couldn’t imagine a life without you. You had been her everything for the past five years and all of the sudden she was supposed to live without you, she couldn’t. Deep down she knew that she would never be able to live a life without you.
As more tears roll down her cheeks, she remembers the small drink that had been given to them before the war, making sure that if someone was to be captured, they could drink it and die to avoid getting tortured.
She takes it, her hands shaking as she opens it and for a moment, she sees Percy looking at her, a moment of realization at the sight of the bottle.
“Clarisse,” he whispers, he looks unsure, sad even as he understands what she wants to do but she shakes her head.
“I can’t live without her; it wouldn’t be living. You know what I mean,” she says, and he nods slowly, she knows he understands what she means, he would do the same thing if he lost Annabeth.
“Take care of her?”, he whispers, a stray tear falling down his cheek and she nods.
“I will,” she whispers before bringing the bottle to her lips and drinks it in one go.
She looks at you as the liquid goes down her throat and for a moment, she thinks that it won’t work and that she will have to live without you, but her eyes start to flutter shut and. Before she knows it, she is falling against you, her head on your stomach as her last breath leaves her lips.
Rain starts pouring down on him and he knows it’s his father, trying to console him and the sadness that comes with losing a child. He stays there until Annabeth forces him to leave, trying to hold back her own tears as she watches the couple lying against each other. The monsters are gone in an instance, as if seeing two girls giving up their lives for each other was enough for the Gods to decide the war could finally be over.
He never forgets his sister, seeing her in the waterlilies blooming along the water on her birthdays, in the playlist she always used to blast in the Poseidon Cabin, in his father’s eyes. But the moment he sees her, and Clarisse again is at the last scene of Romeo and Juliet at the theater, seeing Romeo sacrifice himself to be with Juliet. The two of you flashes before his eyes as Annabeth holds his hand with a tight grip even as everyone leaves the theater, and they stay watching the closed curtain. As if it was symbolizing the end of your life too.
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The Cotton Candy Haze Mirrors The Warmth Of Your Gaze
RE2R!Leon x F!Reader
Coming back home from working 4 shifts in a single day for the fifth time this week, you went home looking and feeling like a hot mess– ponytail looking like you got into a fight and lost, eyes sunken in with dark bags underneath them, and pimples breaking out in several spots in your face and back. Despite how much your body craved a deep and restful sleep, you couldn’t give yourself that because grad school, especially medical school, won’t pay its own tuition along with living expenses. Juggling 4 odd jobs, along with working overtime for the sake of getting extra pay is really taking a toll on you: you’ve been cranky lately and you haven’t found proper time to be studying for the upcoming board exams, resorting to bringing all your books and notes in your bags so you’ll have time to read in case you’re free while still at work. Hell, you haven’t even found time to take Leon on dates due to how hectic and overwhelming everything is; you’re certain that the last time you and Leon spent some quality time cuddling together was three months ago. An icky guilt seeps into your weary bones, especially since Leon’s also taking up some jobs on the side to help with your expenses and along with his police academy’s costs but he still manages to make you meals, remind you to drink water, and drive you to wherever you need to be. With a frustrated groan, you fumble through your bag to look for your keys but unfortunately you couldn’t find it and deduced it to your forgetfulness, having left it at the bowl by the door back inside.
“Fucking hell,” you bitterly hiss. You were just about to knock at a neighbor’s door for the spare key you handed them but then you suddenly remembered that you haven’t had the chance to give them an emergency spare key yet since you were procrastinating on it, much to your disadvantage now. Exasperation causes tears to flood your waterline, your vision going blurry as you reach to contact Leon to tell him that you’ve been locked out but you forgo it, thinking that he’s probably had a long day as well and that he doesn't need another thing to be bugging him. You sink down by the door, wiping your tears with the sleeve of your sweatshirt before taking your notes out to start reviewing again since you’re free and waiting for him to come home. A few minutes pass and you hear the pad of footsteps nearing you. Swiftly, you place your notebook back in your bag and sling it over your shoulder, getting up and dusting your legs before seeing Leon’s kind smile beaming down on you like the first few rays of the sunlight on a new day.
“Hey, baby.” you softly mumble as you place a kiss on his cheek.
“Hi,” he says as he pulls you in for a quick hug. “What are you doing here?”
“Got locked out. Forgot to bring the keys. I also didn’t ask the neighbors for the keys since I didn’t give them spares yet,” you quietly admit. You look down at your feet, shame creeping in. “Leon’s had a long day and here you are, worrying him even more. Great job, Y/N. Real girlfriend of the year,” you glumly think to yourself.
“Oh– I forgot to tell you this too but I already gave the spares to the neighbors. You’ve been really busy lately so I decided to do it instead,” he says. “Sorry about that. It just slipped from my mind.”
“No. It’s fine, it really is.” you say with a tired yet genuine smile.
Leon fishes out his key from his backpack before slotting it into the keyhole and unlocking the door, opening it and letting you head in first. You slip out of your work shoes, placing your bag on the couch and collapsing right beside your things with a loud sigh.
“I’m so tired with everything,” you loudly groan as you cover your face with both hands and proceed to groan a little more. Leon walks over to the back of the couch, wrapping his arms from behind you and placing comforting kisses to your hair.
“Tell me what’s going on. I’m just going to sit here and listen,” he softly whispers as he lightly pats your shoulder.
With a deep sigh, you ramble on about everything that’s bothering you. Tears prick your eyes again and there’s more than one occasion to your voice breaking. He stays quiet, arms still wrapped around as he nods to whatever you say, occasionally pressing his lips into your head as you vent about whatever.
“I can’t afford a review center and I don’t have time to study before the board. I’m going to fail, Leon. I won’t end up somewhere,” you finish. You recline back into his touch, feeling like a ton of bricks has been lifted from your shoulders. Leon unwraps his arms around you for a bit, walking over to your place on the couch before pulling you in for a more proper hug as he delicately sways you from side to side.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s fine,” he softly mumbles. “You’ve been working and studying so hard. I can see all the effort you’re putting into making sure you reach your dreams and trust me, you will pass the board. You make time to study each day and I can see that you’ve got the drive to succeed, you can do this. Believe in yourself as much as I believe in you and your capabilities, okay?”
You sniffle, hugging back and staying silent for a bit before your shaky and slightly squeaky voice speaks up, the sound slightly muffled since you buried your face into the comforting scent of your boyfriend’s sweatshirt.
“But Leon, there’s more people who're smarter than me and they’re going to pass and I’m not going to. What if I’m not enough?” you say, which causes Leon to pull away from the hug and cup your cheeks in between his big and calloused hands.
“You’re going to pass. You’re smart, you’re my smart girl. There’s no way you’re not going to pass, okay? You will be a licensed nurse and you will reach your dreams. You’re more than enough for this and for me. Don’t let anyone and anything tell you that you’re not enough because you are. More than you’ll ever know.” He finishes with a small kiss to the tip of your nose before moving to your lips. Your own hand climbs up to lightly wrap around his wrists, maintaining comfortable eye contact.
“I’m sorry,” you softly tell him, your words coming out like a whisper.
“For what?” Leon says with a surprised smile. “You didn’t do anything wrong, love.”
“Yes I did, Leon.” you bashfully respond. “I haven’t been giving you much attention lately. You also do many things for me like driving me to school and doing my laundry but I don’t find the time to repay you. Just earlier, I got you worried because I was sitting just right outside the door when you already have a lot on your own plate. I’m just adding to that list of things that keeps you up at night and–”
Leon cuts you off by placing his index finger against your lips to shush you before gently moving you to be laying on his lap as he plays with your hair and scratches your scalp in the way he knows you love.
“Nope. I understand that you’ve gotta give a hundred percent of your attention to your studies, especially that your future job concerns human lives. I’m just doing my job by being here for you as your number one fan and making sure you still take care of yourself. I’m busy too but you’re not bothering me or causing me more stress, just the opposite actually. Now just lay on my lap and let me make you feel a lot better, yeah?” he softly says as he continues massaging your head, prompting your eyelids to drape over your eyes as you sigh in satisfaction.
“Unless you wanna have dinner first–”
“No. Let’s just stay like this for a bit.”
He continues to rake his fingers through strands of your hair, his fingers gently scratching your scalp and applying a good amount of pressure to your temples in order to effectively massage them. Most of the time, it’s you who’s giving Leon scratches and massages but it feels great to be at the receiving end of some pampering and loving from your boyfriend. He stops for a little bit, your eyes flying open to see Leon reach over to get a blanket to wrap you in it. Snuggling into the blanket, he continues his soothing ministrations to your head. You swear that if you were a cat and Leon was petting you in this way, you would purr so loud.
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You finally finished taking your board exams about a month ago and ever since then, you would eagerly open up your laptop or phone just to look at whether or not you passed. Each time, your fingers would wobble and your palms would sweat to the point you frequently wipe them on your pants so your phone wouldn’t slip out of your grip. Your thoughts would shift between the confidence that you passed since you reviewed and studied and practiced so much and the fear of failure, the icky feeling of being a failure with no direction in life eroding at the happiness you built for yourself but luckily Leon was always there to keep those crusty, self-deprecating tendencies at bay.
“You passed!” Leon practically screeches. With quivering hands he shoves his phone back into his pocket and lunges at you, almost toppling over the tables as he wraps you around in one of the best hugs he’s ever given you.
“Huh? What?” is all you could muster in this state of shock and surprise.
He pulls away and opens up your laptop, going straight to your email and the school portal where they released the list of passers. Sure enough, your last name is listed.
“My girl is going to become a licensed nurse!” he shouts with the proudest, most vibrant smile you’ve ever seen him smile.
Tears of pure, unadulterated joy spilled from your waterline and flowed down your cheeks, a rush of adrenaline coursing through your veins whilst also feeling relief at the fact that you passed. Now it’s your turn to lunge at Leon, springing at him and tackling him with your arms tightly enveloped on his larger frame as you jump up and down, toppling over into the couch and hugging him even tighter due to the renewed sizzle of joy running through your person. After a few moments of laying on top of each other and smiling and pressing kisses into each other’s face, you get up and phone friends and family to tell them that you managed to pass the boards. Leon called up his own friends Ethan and Chris to tell them of your results, sending pictures. You hear Leon and his friends giggling on the other side of the room, squealing and giggling like school girls. His face, the tips of his ears, and neck are flushed a vibrant pink the more he talks about how proud he is of his girl. Many times he showed the email and your name on the passers list to his friends, cheers and congratulations being the reception whenever he did, much to his massive delight. Finally, you finish up phoning friends and family and go to Leon, pressing a passionate kiss to his soft baby lips upon his soft baby face. He could feel you grinning against him with each gentle smack; Leon quite never figured out if the beauty of your lips was more of their softness or their association with whatever words you spoke, which always pulled him under a spell he didn’t wish to surface from. You pull away, gazing deeply into eyes painted a soothing blue watercolor hue and not wanting to break this moment of peace, the sensations feeling intimate in a way more than the physical contact of bodies.
“I’m so proud of my girl. My smart, amazing, lovely, sweet girl who will be a nurse soon,” he softly whispers.
“I’m proud of myself too, Leon. Thank you for supporting me, helping me out, and being there for me when I needed you most. I couldn’t have done this without you,” you sincerely thank him.
“You’re a strong independent woman, Y/N. You don’t need anyone to get you somewhere because you carry yourself with an air of confidence and independence but I’m very thankful and lucky you let me in your life.”
“Gosh, Leon. You’re going to make me cry but thank you. I mean it so much. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“So… should we eat out? I’ve got some change to spare.”
“It’s on me. I’ve been saving up, I have a surprise for you but it won’t hurt to celebrate my Y/N’s passing.”
You smack his chest playfully, the blond laughing at his little joke.
“You made it sound like I died!”
“Oops. Looks like it might result in a grave misunderstanding.”
“God, let’s just get ready for dinner.”
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Leon's POV
I took her out to dinner that night, picking out a nice Korean grill for us to dine in since she enjoys Korean grills so much. Nothing felt more satisfying than seeing all her efforts pay off; all those readings and memorizations giving her the success she rightfully deserves. Right now, I’m seeing her devour her entire plate and in the blink of an eye she’ll get up to get seconds but I don’t mind; seeing her eat good food and indulge makes me feel happy. I feel satisfied, as if I don’t need to eat because her happiness is enough to keep me going for days on end. We’ve both decided to keep working some more jobs to be able to have more savings to add in our accounts so we could afford to move into a better place, probably nearer to Raccoon City since I’m going to be stationed there by next month. She doesn’t know this but I managed to prepare a little surprise for her, which is a 2 day camping get-away; deep in the forest, surrounded by trees, the stars shining above us, and the cold weather. She deserves a little break, we both do, so I planned this. I’m free for the next few days too so this is going to be perfect, I’m grinning just at the thought of it.
“What’re you smiling about?” she asks, but it comes out sounding a little difference since she’s got some food in her mouth.
“Nothing. You look beautiful tonight,” I respond, which isn’t exactly a lie. The buzz of glee just gives her this glow that makes me want to get on my knees and worship her like the goddess she is.
She gets back to eating, doing a little happy dance every now and then. She’s also insisted on feeding me, making sure I finish at least 3 plates because “one can never be too full”, which I appreciate since she just wants me to eat well and I want to have the energy to walk her around town tonight.
After dinner, we took a walk around town. I stopped by at a flower shop, getting her flowers as one of my many little gifts. It feels tempting to tell her about our little camping getaway coming up in a few hours but I want to build up an element of surprise and blissfully catch her off guard. The evening gets cold and a little quiet so I shrug off my jacket, draping it over her shoulders and making sure she’s all warm and toasty.
“You good?” I ask her.
“Yeah. Thanks,” she shyly says as she huddles into my jacket even more. I advised her to bring along a coat since the night could get a little chilly but she refused. As long as the cold won’t bother her and make her feel ill, I don’t really mind because I like seeing her in my clothes and having the smell of her perfume on my things. We take a few more strides, a comfortable settling between us as we walk hand in hand and go wherever our hearts desire. I turn my head and steal a lengthy glance from her; the delicate breeze sends her hair flowing smoothly like a poet’s ink and quill, the fine strands woven from spacetime and starlight as the streetlight’s luminescence bounces off; her body is absolutely perfect, worthy of all praises and respectful admiration with curves that mold in my hands just right but her genuine beauty is from within her heart; God, she’s captivating. She looks at me and I promptly look away, keeping my gaze trained on something else as heat is concentrated on the apples of my cheeks. I can hear a twinkling giggle from her, followed by her fingers pinching a cheek as she giggles even louder.
“You’re too cute, Leon. Gosh, you’re so adorable! You’re like– the most puppy-looking person I’ve ever met and I love that!” she squeals.
“Baby, my cheeks are hurting.” I say in a small voice.
She pulls her fingers away, gently running a hand over where she pinched and gave the spot a peck.
“Sorry.”
“It’s fine. I know you can’t get enough of me.” I quip, followed by a wink.
“You’re not wrong but you’re one cocky person,” she says but a smile tugs at the corner of her lips.
“I’m your cocky person.”
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A day later.
Hours ago, I woke her up at 4:45 AM so we could get ready. Of course, she was a bit disoriented because I didn’t say anything to her but after I told her about my little surprise, she practically launched from the bed and got ready immediately. She slept early last night– slept very soundly too, not a single noise rousing her from sleep. While she slept, I carefully slipped out of bed and packed everything we needed, her things included. It was kind of difficult, having to pack things quietly and move them to the car without causing much thudding but I managed to get it done in 3 hours. After several rounds of double checking everything and making sure there was nothing I left out, I finally made my way back up to our apartment and locked the doors to retire for the night. I could barely sleep due to the rush of giddiness coursing through my person but I forced myself to; after all, I’ll be the driver and it’s going to be irresponsible if I don’t.
Now, she’s sitting in the passenger seat with a blanket draped over her lap as she quietly drinks in the view that speeds right past the window. Everytime I see her and she innocently looks right at me, I feel a little antsy and nervous, having to feel around in my pockets and try to calm myself down. In an hour or two, we’ll get to the spot and then finally set our camp up before we start preparing the ingredients we’ll be using for cooking. The campsite we chose is a little more secluded, right by a lake that’s unfortunately too cold to safely swim in but that doesn’t take away the charm of the entire spot. The release of the board passers coincidentally going before the day of the trip I planned is a perfect coincidence, making this whole thing a celebratory trip for her but I want to add another thing to celebrate later so for now, it’ll stay as another secret.
Finally, I pull up at our spot and park the car. We carry our supplies and set up grills, our tents, and a spot to keep all of our food and drinks and utensils. We finish early so we set up the inside of our tent, placing a comfortable blanket on the floor so the bumpy and rigid ground doesn’t cause any of us back pains the following morning. All afternoon speeds past us as we spend the hours cuddling, Y/N saying something like how the weather is “perfect cuddle weather”. Soon, it’s nighttime and we finish up with everything: dinner, a quick towel bath (since the showering in this weather would get us both sick), so now we’re just sitting by the bonfire and huddling close.
“Thanks, Leon. Thank you for all this. A celebratory dinner was enough but I guess you decided to outdo yourself,” she says as she leans her head on my shoulder.
“This is nothing. Besides, you deserve this,” I say.
We sit in silence for a little bit before she speaks up again.
“We should celebrate some more wins in life, y’know. Even the little things, we should celebrate it one way or another. It doesn’t have to be this grand,” she tells me.
“Yeah. You’re right, we should celebrate wins in life,” I agree. This is it. “You’re a big win in my life, Y/N, and I want to celebrate you everyday.”
My hand slips into my pocket, my fingers feeling the velvet of a tiny box holding my promise of the world and forever to Y/N.
I can’t imagine ever growing old without you, nor do I desire to.
If all goes well, we’ve just given ourselves another reason to be celebrating.
NOTE - Woke up today to see that in a month, I've managed to hit a hundred followers!!!!!!! LET'S GOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Srsly so thankful for everyone who decided to follow me and read my fics, I love you and wish you well. I didn't expect to reach a hundred this early into my writing journey so this is so cool. I also told my mom that I write now and she seems supportive so I'm really happy with that. I guess this fic functions as a hundred-followers-special now :)) That's it and I hope you really enjoyed this fic. Again, thank you for the hundred followers!!!!! I couldn't have done it without you <3!!!
The chain dividers are made by @cafekitsune , the images are made by me (sourced from Pinterest).
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Turnstiles
Chapter Four - I’ve Loved These Days 🎶
Pairing: Steve Harrington x FemReader
Warnings: fluff, language, mentions of childhood trauma, mentions of death, abandonment issues, slight sadness.
Summary: You and Steve get your first place together and even if it isn’t glamorous, it’s good enough for the both of you as you leave the old days behind.
word count: 2.6k
Three ←→ Five
Masterlist
Summer 1988
We hide our hearts from harder times
There were so many boxes. It seemed to be a never ending pile from the back of the moving truck, one neither of you could really afford but needed. Even with Dustin and Robin helping carry each new box in, it seemed every time you returned to the truck there was just as many if not more. You couldn’t help the soft sigh that escaped your lips as you looked at the very daunting pile that you knew would take you more than likely a month to finally put all in place.
“Don’t tell me we’re giving up already” that familiar sultry voice whispered in your ear, arms snaking around your waist from behind.
“Not giving up, just trying to gain the courage” you tell him, a small smirk tugging at the corners of your lips. You knew as much as Steve would try to help he would also play with everything he unpacked before actually putting it away, making the process much longer than it needed to be.
“It’s not that bad” Steve said with a soft shake of his head, small tufts of hair falling loose from the action.
“Yes it is, you packed every trophy you have ever earned in your entire life” you tell him, pointing to the large box labeled ‘Steve’s Achievements’.
“Hey I earned those, I can’t just throw them out” Steve pouts as you break out of his arms, doing your best attempt at climbing up into the truck to grab another box.
“I know handsome, I just have to tease” you say leaning down and he’s happy to bring his pouty lips to yours and leave a quick kiss. As much as you teased, you had felt bad. When Steve announced to his parents you were officially getting a place together they decided to put the house up for sale since they were never there anyways. As much as Steve didn’t have a great childhood it was still the only home he had ever known. You knew it took a toll on him and forced him to pack every single one of his belongings instead of the necessities.
“Hey dingus, why are we the only ones carrying shit?” Robin called out as she stepped out the doors of the small apartment, spotting you juggling a new box while Steve lingered at the back of the truck.
“I need my rest Robin, if Rosy’s shit wasn’t so heavy” he called back and you shot him a quick glare which made him laugh softly.
“You’re an idiot” Robin mumbled as you handed her the box in your arms and picked up a new one.
“What the hell Steve! Why are the girls the only one’s carrying your shit?” Dustin called out, exiting the home as well and you and Robin quickly erupt in giggles as Steve groans out.
“I don’t have a box in my arms for two seconds and I get harassed. What the hell is this?” Steve says mostly to himself, jumping up into the truck much easier than you did and you watch as he goes for one of the small boxes.
“Uh-uh mister. You’re bringing that one in” you say, nodding your head to the trophy box and Steve rolls his eyes before doing what he was told.
“God you’re so whipped” Robin snorts before starting back for the apartment ready to unload the boxes as fast as she can.
“I’m not whipped!” he called out quickly in defense but Dustin just laughed and grabbed a box for himself.
“It’s okay Stevie, you’re allowed to be whipped. I definitely am for you” you tell him sweetly and he grins, the oddly large trophy box now in his arms.
“I love you” he hums out, leaning and pressing a chaste kiss to your lips before hopping out of the truck. Your heart flutters due to the sentiment, never getting tired of the words he finally spoke a year and a half ago. Well actually wrote but ever since then he told you every chance he got and you loved it every time.
It had been over three years since you met Steve Harrington and you were pretty sure you’d never get tired of him. He came to you when you needed him most and you did the same for him. Since that day you hadn’t spent a day apart and making this decision, deciding to live together, after years of working and saving money, you had no regrets at all. This was it, he was your soulmate and this was only the beginning of a lifetime of years ahead. Small apartment or not, he was yours and that alone was a breath of relief.
“Need an invitation?” Robin called to you from the small house and you just chuckled before grabbing your things and making your way to the house. A house that would probably hold you and Steve for another few years, be your shelter from the storm, and despite its empty walls and bare floors, you couldn’t wait to make it a home.
It’s dusk by the time all the boxes are unloaded into your home and Robin and Dustin are long gone. Just looking at the mess you know you’re too tired to face it until tomorrow, so you make do with what you have. You make quick work of making a bed of the mattress on the floor, saving the frame building for tomorrow. When it looks decent enough to sleep on you make your way out of your room to find Steve. Much to your surprise he’s in the living room, boxes now cleared off the coffee table, and take out from the local diner on the table.
“I made dinner” he grins at you, sitting on the ground as he pours you a glass of wine in a mug. You giggle at the thought of it being the only thing he could find and join him on the floor.
“What’s this for?” you curiously ask, taking the mug from his hand and smiling at the food and candle he had set up.
“This is to taking our time. The last few years have felt like a race to the finish line and we finally made it” he says, recalling all the long hours and savings account expenses. Had it not been for the alternator going in Steve’s BMW you would’ve been here much sooner but at least you were here.
“Cheers to that” you say, clinking the mug against his own before taking a sip. Steve just smiles and looks to the simple plate of food. He loved that you both could live your lives so nonchalant, spend your nights living a luxurious lifestyle even if it’s just a small apartment.
“The money comes, the money goes, but we finally made it baby” he tells you and you quickly kiss him before grabbing the wrapped burger that your stomach grumbles for. Not realizing how hungry you were after a whole day of moving.
His words wash a sense of comfort over you. Knowing now you could spend your days a bit more relaxed, eat dinner in silk robes and light lamps for atmosphere. Even if the apartment was a passing phase in the start of the rest of your life you were both going long. Hanging hopes on chandeliers while gaining weight and sleeping in late. You had loved those days before living together but it was time to change your ways and love these new days. The days meant for just the two of you before something more comes along, something bigger.
“Did your parents say when they’re selling the house?” you ask around a bite of your burger, trying to get a better read on him and how he feels.
“By the end of the month, Dad says if I need anything to get it by then” he mutters, heart clenching over the fact. He hated that empty house, despised it, but these last few years it wasn’t really empty.
“I’m sorry honey” you tell him, wiping your face with a napkin and he shrugs.
“It’s okay, I was meant to move out sometime. Just wish it was still somewhat mine, you know? They were never there so much it sorta always felt like it did. Then when I started spending time with the kids and you there, I guess I just always imagined I’d stay there, raise my kids, teach em how to swim in the pool and how to ride their bike in the driveway. Make it more of a home then it ever was to me” Steve explains, eyes cast over the table and lost in a memory that hadn’t happened yet. Your heart instantly softens to the boy, hand reaching out to settle in his own just like you did when you first met.
“I’m sorry Stevie, but just think about how we can make those memories in our own home. A home we’ll grow old in and our kids can visit whenever and bring their kids with them” you tell him and Steve can’t help the small grin that cracks along his face at the sentiment.
“Is this you saying it’s you and I forever Rosy?” he inquires, devious eyes glimmering into your own and you laugh, cheeks flushing red.
“Well I’d say moving in together kinda deals the deal” you tell him and Steve grins before reaching over to grab your waist. Much to your surprise he lifts you effortlessly over and into his lap where his face nuzzles into your neck.
“Then it’s you and me forever, I promise” he tells you, warm breath tickling your skin. Now you both could indulge in things refined and hide your hearts from the harder times.
This marked the start of drowning your doubts in dry champagne and dreaming of your future. A future that if you dreamed hard enough could include real pearls, foreign cars, caviar and cabernet wine. Yet the real riches was a future with each other, a future that included kids and endless memories to be shared. You didn’t really care if you only ever lived in this apartment, the boy curled up next to you was the real dream.
“Another toast” you say, reaching for your mug and handing Steve his own. He follows right along, the bright red liquid sloshing up the side. This was something you wanted to say before the old versions of yourself end and the new ones begin.
“A toast to how it’s been and to all the new things we get to love. Including each other” you say and Steve happily clinks the mug against your own as you both tip back the sweet wine since Steve hated dry.
“I’ve loved these days and I’ll love the new ones too” Steve mutters into your neck and you smile and settle against him, finally relishing in the fact you were both sat in your shared living room. A space you and Steve could share while you got big wig jobs and engaged. A space designed for the both of you to grow as a couple who was meant to last forever.
“You think we’ll get tired of each other?” you voice your worries, knowing now that you shared such close quarters you were bound to find flaws within one another.
“Maybe but I’ll always love you more, and isn’t that how it’s supposed to work?” he asks, voice a soft hum into the late night of the barren home. You had a lot of work ahead of you but at this very moment you couldn’t bring yourself to care.
“I guess so” you smile, a softness twisting in your gut at how in love you are with this man beside you.
“Wait! I have an idea!” Steve suddenly says, sliding you delicately off his lap and to the ground. He’s up in a second, eyeing the labels of each of the boxes in search of something you’re not sure of. You watch with curiosity, waiting to see what the boy could possibly be up to now.
“Ah-ha!” he lets out once he finds what his looking for, large hands pulling back the folded cardboard pieces and digging inside. It’s when the familiar flash of silver is revealed you realize he’s in search of his boombox.
Finding the outlet Steve makes work of prepping the stereo for some mood music. It’s no surprise when the familiar flash of a Billy Joel album is pulled from the bottom of the box. He grumbled only slightly when he realized he needs to rewind the tape, smashing the button with an annoyed scowl. Yet when the tape finally spins back to the beginning, a grin covers his lips instead, as a familiar song starts to fill the room. Say Goodbye to Hollywood, the classic beginning of Billy’s 1976 album Turnstiles. A true testament to his talent, and one of Steve’s favorites.
“Dance with me?” he asks, hand held down to you on the ground and you don’t even hesitate to clasp your own with his, allowing him to lift you up and into his arms before spinning you around the room.
“Tell me something good?” you ask him, heart thumping softly against his own as you both sway around the living room, the barren walls soon to hold a lifetime of memories.
“The first time I heard this song I was spending the night at my Grandparents. I was nine and we were all in the kitchen making cookies. I remember my Grandma smelling like fresh flowers and the way my Grandpas laugh made you feel safe. Turnstiles had just come out, Billy’s latest album and Grandpa knew I hadn’t heard it yet. So he played the vinyl while I frosted cookies and this song began to play. Now every time I hear it I’m back in that kitchen just happy to have two people who really loved me” Steve says, a soft sadness cast over his eyes and you can’t stop yourself from pulling him close and leaving a soft kiss on his lips.
“I really would’ve liked to meet them” you whisper, hand curling at the back of his neck and fingers grazing the small tufts of hair there. He smiles and gives a soft squeeze to your waist, pulling you impossibly closer.
“They would’ve loved you. My Grandpa would point out how smart you are, tease me about it too. Ask how I got a girl like you to date a doofus like me. And my Grandma, she would bake you pies and insist on sewing all your clothes when they got old and worn. Talk about how much she wished she had a granddaughter” Steve says like he knows and it’s because he does. They were the two people in his life who always made him feel safe and he knew them better than anyone. It sucked they weren’t here but knowing how much they would’ve loved you is comfort enough.
“I see them in you. In the way you take care of the kids and in the way you love me” you say and the look he gives you is different than any look you have ever received. Your heart accelerates just at the sight and before you can even process it the boy is kissing you like his life depends on it.
“I’m going to love these days too” he suddenly says, pulling back from the kiss a little breathless. A small laugh escapes your lips as he hugs you close.
“Yeah, well I count on having many of them”
Taglist: @slvtforstve @keerygal @goosy-goose @livsters @blckburd @loveshotzz @ohwauwdoritos @superblysubpar @southereads @amataadriana @violet2022 @mxrcjqckspnchqsc @madaboutjoe @thunderstomp-and-tequila @justdamnpeachy @micheledawn1975 @fangfatale @kingstevesgf @notlilyyyy @eddiesguitarskills @palmtreesx3 @momospeaches47 @pbs-theundeadmaggot @xuimhao @lianna75 @lvjmel @sadbitchfangirl @halflifejess @starkleila @ellharrington @avobabe87
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If I Love You Too (Part 1)
Summary: It’s been six months since the accident. Six months and Jensen can’t stand feeling helpless anymore. He knows he needs to start figuring out how to work again while being a single parent and juggling his concerned family. He absolutely doesn’t want it but he needs help in the form of a live-in nanny to help with the day to day. As much as he didn’t want that nanny or her help, she’s going to make him feel things he never dared to again and in the process, discover that some people in life get more than one soulmate...
Masterlist
Pairing: Jenssen x nanny!reader
Word Count: 9,500ish
Warnings: language, angst, death of a spouse, lying, mentions of injury/death of a spouse/death of a parent, internal turmoil
A/N: Please enjoy the first part of this Jensen POV series! I am SO excited to be sharing this story with you from Jensen’s side!
______
“Hey buddy,” I heard as the door from the bedroom to the private balcony opened. I didn’t move from my seat, stayed still and quiet as the door shut behind me. A hand ruffled my hair and I turned away from the touch. “Want to come downstairs and watch Christmas Vacation with everyone? Kids are down for the count.”
“No thanks,” I said quietly, waiting for my brother to leave me alone again. The hand didn’t leave my hair and I closed my eyes. “I’m a little beat after a long couple days. You guys go ahead without me.”
“Thanks for the new toolset. I really like it,” he said.
“You’re welcome.” I opened my eyes slowly, staring at the wood decking, Josh still playing with my hair.
“Next year won’t be as hard. I promise.”
“Well it was a little hard to try and accommodate my children asking for their dead mother for Christmas,” I said. I held my breathing steady, pulling on all of those little acting strings tucked away in the back of my head to stop myself from saying more. “Maybe we can take all the kids ice skating tomorrow.”
“Sure. Mom and dad would like that,” I said. “Maybe get a real smile on that face.”
I stared dryly at the decking, overdue for a power wash but then again, what did it matter. A little bit of must and dirt didn’t bother me.
“I’m not saying six months is enough time to get over what happened. But find a better therapist for me. This one isn’t-”
“Josh I’m tired. I set up everything all by myself this year. I’m just tired is all. I had fun today. I promise,” I said.
“Alright. Get some sleep then baby brother,” he said, ruffling my hair one last time.
“Not a baby,” I mumbled.
“Hey,” he said. I looked back and up at him. “You’re my baby brother no matter what, understand?” I nodded, Josh returning it. “Sleep in tomorrow. I’ll handle breakfast.”
“Maybe,” I said, turning away, glad for when the door slid open and shut once more. I looked back, Josh gone, before leaning forward in my seat. I looked up at the dark cloudy sky, rubbing my palms together. “Honey if you’re up there…”
I squeezed my eyes shut, quickly forcing them open, scrunching up my face.
“I don’t want to feel like this anymore. Nothing. Numb. But it’s been too long and everyone wants me to be better and...I can’t let ‘em down. It’s been six months. I should be better. But I just don’t...help me. Please. You have my back. I don’t know what to do except pretend the rest of my life and I’m scared what’ll happen if I do. It’s been six months and I can’t take it anymore. Tell me what to do. Please.”
A gentle breeze stirred through the air, a quiet rumble of thunder off in the distance.
“Dee?” I glanced up only to be hit in the face with hard droplets of rain, the sky opening up and pouring down. I blinked the water away, staring down at my lap. “You’re not up there. You’re just fucking gone.”
It took a moment for me to make myself rise, bringing water into the bedroom. I locked up and ditched my wet clothes in the bathroom, standing in front of the shower absently. I caught my reflection in the glass, turning to the floor length mirror, tracing a finger over the scar on my hip. I narrowed my eyes, breathing deeply. I caught my reflection, quickly looking away.
But I forced myself to look back, to meet the hard green eyes, meet the pink edges to them, to look down at the scar and then back up.
“The one fucking time you’re not driving…” I grit out, clenching my fists. “I fucking hate you. I fucking hate you you worthless son of a bitch. If you were driving you could have saved her. You could have stopped it.”
I slammed a fist against my thigh, hitting the scar again. I forced myself to stop, release my hand and instead step in the shower. I turned the water to warm and stepped under the stream, closing my eyes. My skin warmed after a few minutes and I got out, changing into a fresh pair of briefs after I was dry. I stood in the closet, almost reaching for a shirt to sleep in when I went to the other side, flipping on the light. It was mostly empty, a few boxes in there but most of it was given away to family and friends or donated.
I stopped at the items still on hangers, grabbing a gray oversized fleece hoodie. I tugged it on, still too big for me even now. Definitely too big when I was a little twenty five year old. I grabbed the collar and tugged it up, taking a deep inhale, narrowing my eyes when all I smelled was a bit of dust. I hit off the light and went out to the bedroom, crawling into the middle.
I hadn’t worn the sweatshirt in a decade, not long after I started dating Danneel. I pulled up the hood and plopped down, sliding under the covers, turning to face her old side of the bed. It wasn’t too long after that I heard the door crack and hushed whispers filled the room.
“I told you he said he was tired. I mean, he did prep for everyone by himself. I’m tired and all I had to do was drive down here,” said Josh quietly. “Let him sleep.”
I shut my eyes, feeling a blanket be pulled over top of me.
“Sleep good, sweetie,” I heard mom say softly. The door to the room shut a few seconds later and I glanced back at it, plopping back down. I was exhausted. That much was true. I’d been exhausted the past six months. First it was the accident but trying to keep up with different projects and the brewery and suddenly being a single dad was fucking hard.
I rolled over and grabbed my phone, typing into google.
“Ten easy steps to finding a nanny,” I mumbled to myself. “If it’s so easy why’s there’s ten fucking steps…”
I sighed and exited back out, scrolling down the page, finding a more promising one.
“I’m thinking of getting a nanny,” I said the next day while I finished a cup of coffee with my parents and siblings, getting a few stares. “Okay. I see y’all have opinions on that.”
“I think it’s a great idea,” said Jared, smiling as he walked in with some bags in his arms. “You could do with the help.”
“You’ve had nannies before. You have a nanny now,” I said, Jared setting the bags of gifts down by the tree.
“Yeah so I know how useful they can be,” said Jared, getting some quick hugs from everyone. “I need to steal him for like ten minutes. Be right back.”
“Coffee,” I whined, Jared grabbing my hand and dragging me after himself. He pulled me over to the front door, letting me slip into some sneakers before heading outside. “What?”
I was pulled into a bear crushing hug, waiting a beat before I returned it.
“How’d it go, Christmas eve and Christmas and all that,” asked Jared.
“It was great.”
“We don’t lie to each other.” I rested my chin on Jared’s shoulder and closed my eyes.
“Hard,” I said quietly. “Dee’s parents are coming in today.”
“I know they are,” said Jared, rubbing my back.
“You’re supposed to be down at your parents place with your family.”
“I’m supposed to be with my brother. Don’t start your defensive shit. I thought you and your therapist were making some good progress on that.”
“I know,” I said. I hated that stupid lie I’d told. Hated every time someone brought it up. Especially hated when Jared did.
A small piece of me wondered if Jared would leave me too if he ever found out.
“Hey, hey,” said Jared, tugging me around the corner of the garage, holding me up when I started to cry.
“Don’t tell them or anyone,” I said, wiping the tears away with the backs of my hands. Jared caught my arms, my bottom lip wobbling. “Please. They treat me...if they see me get upset…please.”
“I won’t tell,” he said, wiping off the rest of my face while I cleared my throat.
“I good?” I asked, rubbing off my face. I blinked a few times, Jared nodding. He caught my shoulder, gnawing on his bottom lip. “Jared you promised.”
“I’m not gonna tell. I just hate that you’re afraid to let your family see you cry.”
“To be fair I hate to let anyone see me cry.”
“What makes me so special?”
“You’re you,” I said, a small smile on Jared’s face. “Our asses our stuck together forever whether we like it or not.”
“Oh I’m gonna annoy the shit out of you in the afterlife, don’t worry about that,” he chuckled. I nodded, glancing down. “I think the nanny idea is really good. You need help getting the kids to school and daycare and running errands. I mean your parents came up when you went out to LA for your suit being built but...you’ve got to be in Canada for The Boys in February. You’re gonna need help working full time again.”
“I know. I’m so tired all the time. I know that’s why I’m upset. I just need some sleep man.”
“How about tomorrow once everybody’s headed home, you guys come hang out at our place. We can help with the nanny stuff. We’ve been through it. We know the good agencies in town. Gen’s got a whole file on all that stuff.”
“I was thinking of a live-in nanny?” I said. “Is that weird? I feel weird enough having some stranger come in.”
“It’s not weird. I mean you got the guest suite near the garage. If anything you don’t have to stress so much. Someone’s right down the hall. It’s a great idea. I’m proud of you.” I raised an eyebrow, Jared rolling his eyes. “What, I can’t be proud of you?”
“Why? I have to hire a nanny because I can’t figure out how to do it alone when there’s only a gajillion other parents on the planet that don’t have a choice of-”
“You’ve been shitty at asking for help since I met you you know,” said Jared. I shrugged, Jared catching my arm. “I know this is the last thing in the world you want to do, admit you need help, but you’re the one that decided you need a nanny. No one talked you into that. You did that even though you don’t want to. That’s why I’m proud of you, jackass.”
“We were going to get one before…to help Dee out more. When I was away,” I said. I nodded, taking a deep breath. “Next year will be better. I’ll get back to acting, things’ll feel more normal.”
“Don’t go and turn into an optimist on me Jackles. I need my grumpy old man,” chuckled Jared.
“Old man my ass,” I said with a smirk. “You headed back?”
“Nope. Sadly your ass is stuck with me all day,” he said. I smiled, heading back around the front of the house with him.
“Mind giving me some back up in there with all the nanny questions I’m about to get?”
“Duh,” he said. “But first let’s finish your coffee before you bite someone’s head off.”
It’d been three days and I had narrowed it down to three nanny agencies in town. I’d gotten about fifty applications to sort through for interviews, rubbing my hands over my face after reading through most of them.
“Dad! Can I have sugar cookies?” asked JJ, skipping into the office. I glanced at the clock on the wall, an hour past bedtime for all three of them.
“Gettin’ kind of late kiddo. Why don’t you head up to bed and brush your teeth. I’ll be up to read in a minute, okay?” I said, forcing a smile. She stared me down, a look I recognized all too well. “JJ.”
“I know how to read,” she said with a huff.
“Well I guess you don’t need me for anything anymore huh?” I said without thinking, watching her face fall. “Honey-”
She took off running and I sighed as I sat back and stared up at the ceiling. I shook my head and got up, wandering upstairs, surprised to find the twins in bed asleep. JJ was in the middle of her bed, angrily holding her dog. She shot me a dirty look, a perfect match to my own.
I sat down on the edge of the bed, reaching out and tucking her hair behind her ear.
“You put your brother and sister to bed for me?” I asked.
“Yes,” she grit out.
“You don’t have to do that, sweetie. That’s my job.”
“You have to do everything by yourself now. It’s not fair.”
“No it’s not. You’re too young to learn that life isn’t fair, even if you do everything right.” She scooted over into my lap, burrowing herself into my arms.
“We were good. Why didn’t Santa bring her back?” she asked. I tucked her head under my chin so she couldn’t look up, closing my eyes and scrunching up my face.
“Santa can do a lot. But he can’t do that. No one can,” I said. I stroked her hair, holding her tight. “It’s okay to miss mom still.”
“I know it is. I’m just scared.”
“Scared of what, munchkin.”
“I don’t want you to go.” I looked up, swallowing down the lump in my throat.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I said. I kissed the top of her head, wrinkling my nose. “How about we save that cookie for a snack tomorrow, okay? I promise we can spend the day playing. I just have to do a little more work tonight.”
“Okay,” she said. She didn’t move and I didn’t have the heart to do it myself. It was one of the rare moments when one of the kids crawled in my lap, crawled all over me playing and poking and kicking, diving into my bed, waking up to one or all three of them having stolen my covers in the night...I could forget for a few seconds. Things were okay.
A few seconds later though she moved and I was biting the inside of my cheek. I put on a smile, tucking her in and turning on her light in the corner before hitting off the overhead one and shutting the door. I went back to my office, staring at the screen. I reached a hand over to my phone on the desk but stopped myself. Jared had spent the whole night before with me.
“You’re fine, you’re fine, you’re fine,” I breathed out quietly, clicking through to the next nanny profile.
Y/N Y/L/N. 29 Years Old. Home Pair Consultant 3 years. Nanny Core 2 years. Nanny Core Consultant 3 years. Independent Contractor Nanny Services 3 years.
“Certified in CPR and first aid. Homeschool certified K through 2nd grade. You sound like a little over achiever, don’t you,” I mumbled, reading through the rest of the page. “Specializes infants to age ten. Okay what do your ex-employers have to say…”
I found similar comments to some of the previous women, all nice things, got along with kids great, very easy going, etc. But one made my eyes go wide and chuckle.
She didn’t sleep with my skank of a an ex-husband when he pursued her. She brought this news to my attention discretely and regularly took on additional time with the kids while I met with divorce lawyers. It was unfortunate that I could no longer afford to employ her on a single income but she truly cares about the family she works for. My daughters cried for a week when we had to end our services with her but I was very grateful she didn’t brush the incident under the rug.
“Yeah, I think you’re getting an interview for that alone,” I said with a tiny smile. “But what the fuck is a consultant…”
It took a few days but eventually I had the eight prospective nannies lined up for interviews on Saturday. So far all seven were very nice ladies but I just could not stand the thought of occupying the same room for more than an hour let alone have them live in the house. The issue must have been with me if none of them seemed like a good fit. I really didn’t want to be doing this and I must have been putting off some strange vibe.
“Maybe I don’t need a nanny. Maybe...maybe I just don’t need a nanny. I can do this. I can do this on my own. If I just manage work around the kids schedule...and mom and dad come down and watch the kids while I’m up filming and if I fly back and forth every week and mid week...I can do this. I can do this. I don’t need a nanny. I got this. I so got this.”
I sighed when I recalled the same pep talk two weeks ago I’d given myself. The one that led to contemplating quitting acting that night and then proceeding to lay in bed crying half the night.
“Nope. Nope. We just have to calm down. Calm down. It’s not you. Just didn’t find the right one yet. That’s all,” I said to myself, breathing quietly. I rubbed my eyes and yawned, looking over at the coffee maker. “Oh coffee. At least I’ll always have you.”
The doorbell rang and I sighed.
“Great. You’re early,” I groaned. I threw my head back and went to the front door, tearing it open. A woman stood there in a pair of dark jeans and sneakers, a plain light gray t-shirt on, hair pulled back in a ponytail, a few strands falling loose and framing her face.
Oh well she was definitely the cutest by and far.
I realized I was staring and blinked, rubbing my face.
“Hi. You must be from Nanny Core,” I said. She smiled and cocked her head.
“I’m Y/N Y/L/N from Home Pair,” she said. I closed my eyes and rested my head against the side of the door, contemplating just slamming it right against it.
“The last girl was from Nanny Core,” I said, opening my eyes, shaking my head. “I’m so sorry. Yes, Y/N. You’re the one that’s a consultant, not firmly associated with Home Pair, right?”
“Correct,” she said, stepping inside when I let her past. She looked around and smiled, seemingly used to a larger sort of home.
“May I ask what the distinction is?”
“Mostly it has to do with benefits,” she said. “Consultants pay out of pocket for their own or negotiate with their client for those to be covered.”
“Gotcha,” I said with a yawn. Great I looked like a fucking asshole. She looked ahead past the front hall towards the back of the house where the kitchen and family room was. I wiped a hand over my face, a pit already in my stomach, the poor girl already probably already waiting for the interview to end so she could leave. “I’m sorry. I must seem like an ass.”
“You seem tired is all Mr. Ackles. Not a crime,” she said with a smile. I wasn’t expecting such a genuine answer, not a bullshit I’ll pander to you cause I want this job, kind of answer. She was different than the other applicants for sure. Something warm and caring to her. I nodded and found myself smiling, probably the first genuine one I’d had in months.
“Mind if we do the interview in the kitchen over a cup of coffee?” I asked.
“Wherever you like, sir,” said Y/N. I started to head over to the table, pausing when she was trying to kick off her sneakers, one of them tied a bit too tightly to go off easily. She hopped once, nearly tripping and I looked away, chuckling quietly before she was by my side again.
“Uh, for the record, call me Jensen. None of that sir stuff. They must teach that at nanny school or something huh?” I said. I led her over to the table, pulling out a chair. “I noticed all of you do it.”
“Something like that,” she said. She took a seat and I stifled another yawn, turning and blinking my eyes, heading to the coffee machine. I reached for the cap to put some grounds in, the thing falling and bouncing across the counter, straight into a dirty bowl in the sink. Naturally. I leaned over the counter, holding the edge tightly, squeezing my eyes shut. “How about I make the coffee and you take a seat, hm?”
“I’m okay,” I said, popping my head up and turning around with a smile. She looked me up and down, something gentle about her.
“Well making you coffee is probably going to come up in my job quite a bit so consider this part of the interview. It’s alright, really,” said Y/N. I stared at her, a little smile forming on her face. She wasn’t sucking up or trying to kiss my ass. There was a kindness to her that was incredibly attractive. Something in that little smile causing the tiniest little flutter. I blinked, slipping past her.
“Thank you,” I said. She started to make a cup, keeping my back to her. I put a hand on my chest, the flutter dissipating. After a moment I sat down, turning back just as the cup started to fill up. She watched it carefully but with an ease that said she was used to working with that kind of maker. Her hand slipped into her back pocket as she shifted on her feet, her ass rounding out amazingly in her jeans.
What the fuck was wrong with me? God she was only making a cup of coffee for fucks sake.
“I’m gonna ask you the same question I’ve asked all seven other women I’ve talked to today,” I said, forcing a smile when she picked up the mug.
“Yes?”
“Why should I trust you to watch my children?”
“Honestly?” she asked. I nodded and she had that look on her face again. Soft. Slightly concerned. Still smiling. Beautiful. She set the cup down in front of me, a look to let it cool, the barest glimmer of a smirk when I reached for it anyways. There was another flutter in my chest and I took a long sip, burning the tip of my tongue. Part of me hated it, hated that it was possible to develop an attraction to anyone else. But that other part...it was so happy to be feeling something again, especially something good. “You shouldn’t.”
“I shouldn’t. That seems counterproductive.”
“I wouldn’t trust any stranger with my child. Trust is earned, not given. I think the real question is do you believe I’m capable of earning that trust with you and that’s something intrinsically only you know.”
“How so?”
“You meet a lot of different kinds of people with this job. My gut reaction to you is stressed, overwhelmed, sleep-deprived father who doesn’t really want any nanny at all but is forced into this situation. It’s going to be impossible for you to trust any of the seven woman from earlier or me off the bat, Jensen. You should be thinking of who will you come to trust. Who can you count on.”
“This is why my wife should have been the one doing this,” I said. I took a sip of coffee, biting back a small smile.
“We could always re-schedule for when she’s available.”
“Oh, we’d have to wait a very long time for that,” I chuckled. She looked lost and I realized it was time for that part of the interview again. I smiled, hoping she wouldn’t feel awkward. “She passed away unexpectedly six months ago. Car accident.”
“I’m sorry for your loss,” said Y/N. I nodded, pursing my lips, catching her open her mouth after a beat. “My mom died kinda unexpectedly. I know it’s…harder.”
“You’re young. How old?” I asked. She shrugged, glancing down.
“Turned thirty today,” said Y/N. She was cute, still young but she was starting to click. Her kindness, that air about her. Maybe she could sense something going on but was too polite to ask. I let out a small laugh, shaking my head when she started to frown.
“Well Happy Birthday. I meant with your mother though. If that’s okay with you I mean.”
“It’s fine. I was sixteen,” she said. I dropped the smile and took a deep breath. No one deserved that. Especially not a kid. I was a grown man and I could barely handle a loss that close. But she seemed...okay.
I just wanted to be okay again. It’d been too long though and I cleared my throat.
“That…fucking sucks doesn’t it?” I said.
“So does losing your wife,” said Y/N. I nodded and offered a soft smile.
“Yes it does. I’ve grieved. We all have. The kids are small. They’ll be okay.”
“Is dad okay?” she asked. Not really but that was far too much to put on anyone, especially a stranger.
“Yes. Ready to start moving on with life again,” I said, looking her up and down once. I hope she accepted the offer. She didn’t have to be perfect. She didn’t have the most certifications out of all of the applicants but she was the only one I genuinely enjoyed being around and that was the most important thing at the end of the day. “You’re kind. Not in a I’m trying to get this job kind of way. Just kind.”
“Well being cruel doesn’t sound like very much fun.”
“You’re not trying to impress me.”
“The first rule of nannying, Jensen. You think you’re interviewing us when in reality we’re interviewing you too.”
“How am I doing so far?” I asked, realizing after the words were out how flirty it sounded.
“Nice coffee choice,” she said with a smile. “You respect people. You’ll employ me but won’t treat me like I’m second class. You’re checking the boxes so far.”
“What if I don’t check all the boxes?” I asked.
“You don’t get to know the luxury of knowing the answer yet, Mr. Ackles,” said Y/N. “Interview isn’t over.” It wasn’t arrogance in her voice when she spoke though. Almost careful, protective.
“You got fucked over by somebody, didn’t you.”
“Also perceptive,” she said, rubbing her arm absentmindedly. “Like I said, I don’t tolerate being treated unkindly anymore. It’s why I left my last position.”
“I have one more question. Would you treat my children like they’re your own?”
“Again, asking the wrong question,” she said. I sat back and crossed my arms, smirking at her. She gave it right back and I nodded.
“What exactly should I be asking?”
“Will you treat my children kindly and with respect but take charge when required?”
“What’s the difference?”
“One is me doing my job and the other is me doing yours.”
“How old did you say you were again?”
“Thirty today.”
“Right. Well I think I know where I stand. Do you have anything for me?” I asked. Hopefully she just accepted the pay offer without a fuss.
“Can you show me a picture of your kids?” she asked. I stared for a brief moment before reaching back and taking out my wallet. “You answered my question.”
“I didn’t show you anything yet.”
“You’d be surprised how many fathers I’ve met don’t carry pictures of their children in their wallets. That one is just a me thing.”
“Your dad do that?” I asked, putting it back. She made a face, looking away.
“Maybe,” she said with a shrug. She didn’t look back for a long moment. Dead mom at 16 and distant dad. It wasn’t a stretch to see how a girl like that wound up nannying straight out of high school. “I think I know where I stand as well.”
“I’d like to hire you,” I said. She smiled and I instantly relaxed, aside from a few flutters stirring again.
“Assuming our negotiations go well, I accept,” she said. We shook hands, hers small and soft, but the grip was solid. Kind but she’d kick your ass if she had to. I smiled, flutters going off stronger now that the nerves of finding someone were dwindling.
“I did come up with what I thought was fair for salary and benefits. Let me go grab the paperwork and hopefully settle on something,” I said. I went down to the office, grabbing the pile of offer papers off the desk and a notebook. I froze when a pleasant chill ran down my spine.
I was happy because I’d found a good fit. I was excited over a lot of stress being gone.
That was it. That was it.
I swallowed and went back out to the kitchen with a smile.
“If I’m missing anything let me know. I-”
“This is my weekly rate?” she asked when she reviewed her pay sheet.
“Oh no. That’s your daily,” I said as I sat down. I swallowed when she put the paper down. “So I think that’s-”
“Jensen. I have to ask, things like insurance, are those coming out of your pocket or mine?”
“I’ll cover the expenses of your health, dental, all of that. You just choose and I’ll subsize it as part of your paycheck.”
“This is for a live in position. Um…can you just…explain what makes up that daily rate number?” she asked. I cocked my head. I thought I’d spelled it out in the paperwork but I probably missed something.
“It’s simply your base pay. Obviously I pay for housing, utilities, gas obviously. I will get you a credit card to make purchases with for the kids and all of that so it’s simple to keep track of. You’re free to any of the food in the kitchen. I’m guessing the salary is the sticking point here.”
“Jensen,” she said, scratching her head.
“I can go up fifty more dollars a day,” I blurted out.
“Jensen. This is way, way too much money. Way too much,” she said. “The average rate around here is about twenty five an hour or two hundred a day. Jensen this is double that. Are you factoring in like time and a half for additional nights and weekends?”
“No. That’d be on top of that. I thought that was a fair value based on the fact you are going to be taking care of the most valuable things in my life. It’s gonna get taxed too so it’s not like you see all of it.”
“You’re sweet, Jensen,” she said, writing down a number at the top of the page. “The average in Austin is twenty five an hour. I would be very happy with that.”
“You have to literally be the first person in existence to negotiate their salary down from the offer,” I said, shaking my head. She was watching my kids. She deserved to be paid well for doing her job well.
“Are you rejecting my offer?” she asked. She stared and I took the paper and crossed her number out, jotting down thirty five and spinning it back. “Jensen.”
“Y/N,” I said, crossing my arms. Why couldn’t she just accept? She scowled and I huffed. Of course she had a stubborn side. “I came down. Now it’s your turn. Do you accept?”
“I will accept on the condition that you get four hours of what we’d call evening or weekend at the normal rate every week.”
“I can agree to that,” I said with a smile, writing that down, happy when she signed the page. “So medical plan. Single, plus one, family?”
“Single for all that.”
“I should mention that there is an in-law suite off to the other side of the garage where you’ll be staying. It’s just down the hall but it has its own small living area and kitchenette. There is a separate entrance to it. If you have guests over I just ask you keep them to your area of the house.”
“Absolutely. I don’t tend to bring people over much anyways while I’m on the job,” she said. “Alright. Everything looks good to me.”
“Awesome. Are you available to start Monday?”
“Sure,” said Y/N. “It gives me plenty of time to move in things tomorrow so I can jump into the kids routine first thing Monday.”
“Perfect. I’ll show you around. We can start with your side of the house.”
I got up and Y/N followed me down to the guest suite in the front corner of the house. I opened the door for her, Y/N slipping inside and looking around. It wasn’t large but it was decent enough for one person.
“Like I said, I know it’s small. Please like, seriously watch TV out in the family room at night if you want or hang out wherever or the yard or pool. This is just your own space when you want to be away from us.” I said. I got a hum out of her and showed her the rest of the space, Y/N running her hand over the bedding. “If there’s something obvious I’m missing please let me know. A cleaning service does come by every two weeks on Tuesdays at around ten in the morning. They’ll do in here too. Otherwise you can keep after yourself. Cleaning stuff is in the laundry room. Oh yeah. Um, this is probably the last time I’ll like, ever come in here unless you need help moving things in since this will be your space.”
“Thanks. I don’t have too much. I do have one request before we sign all the paperwork.”
“What’s that?”
“I’d like to meet the kids if that’s alright. There’s not much point in hiring me if they hate me.”
“Fair point. We’ll get ‘em over here and then get you all squared away,” I said. “One second.”
“Of course,” she said. I stepped out of the suite and ducked into the garage, Jared answering on the second ring.
“Get through all the interviews?” he asked.
“Yeah. I uh, hired the last girl. She’s great. Super qualified, really get along with her,” I said.
“Good man. I’m glad you found one. When’s she start?”
“Monday. But she wants to meet the kids, says if they don’t like her there’s not much point in her doing this.”
“Smart lady,” chuckled Jared. “I’ll drop ‘em off in ten. You can tell me how it went when I get there.”
“Sounds good,” I said. I shoved my phone back in my pocket, smiling for a moment when I stepped back in the hall and caught a whiff of her perfume. I went back to the doorway, Y/N fumbling with the curtain in there. “Uh so is there anything I can get you? For your room?”
“No, this is great. Can I check out the rest of the house?” asked Y/N. I hummed and followed her as she wandered around the downstairs a bit, poking her head in the office and home gym, spotting the laundry room and humming.
“The playroom is downstairs, kids and me are up,” I said. “There’s a loft and little reading room up here too if you like that sort of thing.”
“Your home is beautiful,” she said, walking up the stairs, following me down the hall. She smiled when she entered, looking at the bookcase. “You read these.”
“Hm?”
“Some people buy pretty books for their home libraries. But these are all random, a little messy. You read,” she said. She stopped at the sliding door out to the small balcony, looking out at the yard. “Your house feels homey for how large it is.”
“Thank you,” I said. “Anywhere besides my room is free to use.”
“Of course. I take it you do your own laundry then?” she asked.
“I’m a big boy. I can do my own laundry,” I said. She hummed, spinning back with a soft smile. “Um. Y/N. Chores and things like that...those are my responsibility, not yours. You’re here to-”
“I have to do some chores. It’s part of taking care of kids. My job is to take care of them but also make dad’s life easier. If I have to wash a bedspread or go get juice from the store or whatever it is, I’m gonna do it. I’ll hang back but I’ll also do my job.”
“Understood. You’ll let me know if I’m stepping into your territory?” I asked. She shook her head and hummed, walking past me and out to the hall, going down to the kids rooms. “I miss the joke?”
“I’ve worked for one other single parent before and three divorced ones. They couldn’t do jack shit for their kids. They barely knew them. I don’t think I’ll have that problem with you Jensen,” she said.
“To be honest I’d rather not be doing this,” I said. She didn’t seem disappointed in that strangely, more, sad almost. “But I’ll get the hang of it.”
“Yes you will,” she said, stopping outside Arrow’s room. “Youngest daughter?” she said, pointing inside.
“I’m sorry. We were looking for what is youngest daughter,” I said. She rolled her eyes and smiled, following me inside. “This is Arrow’s room. She and my son Zeppelin are twins. He’s across the hall.”
“I’m going to guess four years old?” she said.
“How’d you know?” She smirked and pointed at a birthday card sticking out from the bookcase, a large 4 on it. “You’re very observational.”
“I’ve nannined a lot of 4 year olds. Their rooms tend to be organized chaos,” she said. She looked out the window, back to the room.
“Can I ask why you do that?”
“Fires,” she said with a shrug. I blinked, not even considering that for a second. “Never hurts to be over prepared. I’ll learn the house soon. This is your son’s room?”
“Yeah,” I said, following her across the hall, Y/N popping out after a moment. “My oldest is next door. The kids have a bathroom they all share across.”
“What grade is she?” asked Y/N, stepping into the room.
“First. Second. Second,” I said. “She’s seven.”
“What’s her name?”
“JJ. Well, Justice Jay, but she’s always JJ.”
“What was your wife’s name, if that’s okay.”
“Danneel,” I said with a quick swallow. She smiled, laughing to herself.
“Should have known with names like that mom had to have something unique too,” she said. “So JJ is in school. What about the little ones? They have daycare?”
“Yeah they go to daycare normally five days a week but sometimes if it’s a quiet day I don’t have them go. Or one goes and I spend some time with the other. They already know how to do shit I didn’t learn until first grade,” I said.
“This one’s a reader too,” she said, picking up a book from the nightstand. “She’s ahead for her age.”
“That’s what the school tells me. If only she was as good at her math,” I said.
“It’ll click for her eventually. She’s smart. Probably a visual learner. I used to draw problems out myself,” she said, setting the book down. “Any after school activities? Sports? Clubs?”
“I have a calendar I’ll show you. It’s the only way I keep it straight,” I said. She went past and to the hall, glancing down the long stretch of hallway, a pair of double doors on the other end. “That’s my room.”
“Okay then,” she said.
“I mean...you can look if you want.”
“I’m going to give you the same courtesy as well. I won’t be going there unless there’s an emergency.” I nodded, turning to head back downstairs, accidentally bumping her.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, Y/N giggling and shaking her head at me.
“Dude. Relax. My job is to make you more relaxed so get on that, okay?”
“Okay,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck.
“What am I gonna do with you Jensen,” she teased, heading back down the hall and her feet on the steps down after a moment. I glanced down and put a hand on my stomach, sliding it up to my chest. I shut my eyes, taking a deep breath.
I was nervous. Or excited. Or something. Happy to have found a nanny. That was all. That was really all.
“Y/N I’ll be down in a minute. The kids should be here soon,” I called, quickly ducking into my room and closing the door. I sat down against it, staring ahead blankly. “It’s a crush. S’just a crush.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, pressing my palms against my head.
“Jensen,” said Jared and I jumped, the door pushing open. I looked up, Jared quickly shutting the door and kneeling down. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
“Where’s Y/N?” I asked, blinking a few times.
“Playing with the kids in the yard. They kinda love her already. What is going on?” he asked. I held up a hand before shrugging. “No no. You’re not getting off the hook that easy. What happened?”
“She made me coffee,” I said, Jared making a face.
“I don’t understand what you’re-”
“Do you remember when you met Gen? You couldn’t get her out of your head for weeks. That feeling when...some part of you knows something you don’t?” I said.
“Jay. What are-”
“Do you remember?”
“Of course I do. Why?”
“I just had it for the second time in my life,” I said. Jared sat down on his bottom, crossing his legs. “I’m kinda freaking out.”
“Y/N?” he asked. I nodded, Jared sliding over next to me. “I mean she’s pretty. She’s beautiful. You might just have a crush. I mean you don’t go anywhere anymore except the store or work or doctors appointments. Maybe it’s just cause she’s new...and you know the difference between a crush and something else. You’re sure?”
“Not to be a complete fucking sap but I only ever felt like this once in my life and that was after that first real conversation with Dee I had when we carpooled. It took me a week to figure out what it was but I knew and it’s that same…” I said. Jared nodded, throwing his arm over my shoulders. “I barely know the girl. It’s a crush. It’s a crush. That’s it. That’s all it is. That is all that it is.”
“Not to be a complete fucking sap myself but when you know dude you fucking know. You’ve been through it once and you know what it feels like. Maybe...maybe it is just a crush. But maybe she’s the one that’s gonna get you to be fucking happy again. Maybe get you back out there at least. Maybe she’s just a jumpstart huh? Not saying you’re gonna marry the girl or she’s your soulmate but maybe she’s what you need right now, right?”
“Jared. I was never going to date again. Ever. Pretty women...I didn’t care about them. I don’t think I’ve even gotten off since the accident. I just wanted to be a good father and be good at my job and that was all that was left for me,” I said. Jared sat up and shook his head but I shook mine right back. “I know that’s not what I told you but you just wouldn’t shut the fuck up about that shit so I told you what you wanted to hear.”
“Ignoring that fucked up shit, which we’re gonna fucking talking about,” he said as I rolled my eyes, “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I swore off women forever and now my stomach is doing flips like it’s my first middle school dance but it’s…”
“It’s what?”
“I talked to her for half an hour. That’s the best fucking half hour of my life these past six months. Easily. I don’t feel like shit around her and right now, I don’t feel like shit and I forgot how fucking good it feels to not feel like shit. Do you understand?” I asked. Jared nodded, pulling me into a hug. “What do I do?”
“Not feel like shit,” he said. I groaned and he rested his chin on my shoulder. “Jared.”
“If she makes you feel good and happy when you actively were against those things, what do you think she’ll be able to do for you if you give her a real chance?”
“I’m her boss. And Dee-”
“Dee doesn’t want you to spend the rest of your life being a good father and good at your job and feeling like shit and nothing else. She wants you to fall in love again and fall as hard as the first time.”
“It’s just a stupid crush,” I said. I stood up, walking across the room, putting my back to him. Only a second passed before I felt him behind me, a hand on top of my head.
“Maybe it’s a stupid crush. Maybe she is the start of your life again too.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I said, his hand sliding down to my back.
“Remember the first time I helped you shower after the accident?” he said, curling his fingers around my waist. “Bit my fucking head off the entire time while I helped you stand up.”
“Yes I remember,” I grumbled. I crossed my arms, still not turning around.
“That was the first day I saw you after the accident that you weren’t loaded up on pain killers and you were different. You’ve been different.”
“Gee golly Jared. I wonder why?”
“Past six months...you’re still that guy in the shower yelling at me that he doesn’t need help.”
“Just because I don’t want to date again doesn’t mean I’m fucked up. I’m forty two with three little kids. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to fall in love again,” I snapped, spinning around. He nodded, smiling to himself. “What.”
“You make it sound like you’re gonna have a choice in whether you fall in love when you meet the right person.”
“I’m not gonna fucking fall in love with some girl I just met. There’s a million reasons why it won’t happen.”
“You’re not gonna have a fucking choice.”
“It’s all my choice,” I grit out. Jared shook his head and I clenched my fists.
“I’ve known you over sixteen years. Better than any other human being. I haven’t seen a real smile on your face in over half a year. Except when I came in here and you were sitting there with the stupidest grin on your face talking about Y/N. It works out, it doesn’t work out. Either way, you’re along for the fucking ride so you might as well enjoy it.”
I swallowed, glancing down.
“Have you ever lied to me in the past six months about how you’re doing? How’re you feeling? Anything?” asked Jared. The therapist lie shot to the front of my mind, logic coming in and screaming shut up, more logic coming in to say it’s Jared, it’s okay. “I’m guessing by the mental gymnastics you look like you’re going through, that’s a yes.”
“Jared-”
“I could have done a lot more to help you. I let you fester on your own and-”
“I don’t need you to take care of me. I’m an adult.” I frowned and walked in front of him, Jared pursing his lips. “Leave.”
“Jensen.”
“Leave.”
“No.” He shook his head, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I get to take care of you because I love you. If you don’t like that well tough shit.”
“Get the fuck out of my house and stay out,” I growled. Jared looked down, shaking his head and walking away. He was out of the room when my skin prickled, the happy flutter feelings gone, a pit opening up instead. “Jared. Jared.”
I went to the door, catching him halfway down the hall.
“Jared.”
“I’m going.” He turned the corner, beanie out of view. Fuck. I ducked back in the room, sitting on the bed, toes curling into the fabric. My head was face down in my knees when the door opened softly. My eyes darted over, Jared walking back inside, pulling his beanie down over my head. “I wasn’t going anywhere. Just had to see if you’d ask for help.”
“I’m not very good at it. Obviously,” I said.
“No. No you are not. But what’s in the past, we can’t change it. Just what’s in front. And for you that is the cute nanny that you may or may not end up falling in love with.”
“Jared I can’t love her.”
“Why not?”
“I love Dee. She was it.”
“I’m not saying to stop loving Dee. Shit she’d never want you to do that. But honestly, does she want you to be like this for the rest of your life? Or does she want you to laugh and smile and find a best friend again?”
“I know she wants me to be happy. I know what she wants. You don’t get it.”
“Then help me get it.”
“Say I fell in love again. Say I managed to find the right person and I fell in love. I gave her everything I have left and I’m happy. Then she gets in an accident one day or she has an aneurysm one day or she gets mugged one day or whatever it is. Say she doesn’t come home one day. I can’t put myself through that again. I just can’t. It would destroy me. I can’t do that again.”
“I won’t tell you what to do, Jay. I’d never say that. But you have a choice to make then from what I’m hearing you say.”
“What?”
“Stay single, be afraid of being hurt again and get by. Or risk being hurt again and maybe you get hurt, maybe you don’t, but you’ll be out there living again. Dude if you never want to date again that is completely your choice. But don’t not date because you’re afraid. It’s like I said before, like you were saying, if you find that girl, the right girl, you won’t have a choice at all.”
“She’s my employee,” I said, shifting my legs, sitting cross legged. “Not to mention I don’t even know if she’s single. You saw her. No way is a beautiful woman like that on her own. Then there’s the age difference and the kids thing and the whole I’m an actor thing and-”
“Didn’t say to propose to her. Just...put out some feelers. Maybe if the topic comes up and she’s single, mention you got a friend that’s like you, see if there’s interest.”
“God I hope she’s single,” I said. He smirked, bumping my shoulder. “Shut up.”
“Tell me about her,” he said.
“I don’t know a whole lot,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck.
“But you like her.” I nodded, getting another bump. “I think you’re gonna marry that girl.”
“What?” I laughed. “We don’t even know if she’s single!”
“Nah, you’re gonna marry her. I got a feeling.”
“Oh I see. A feeling.”
“I’ve known you over sixteen years and haven’t been able to get through that thick head. She’s known you half an hour and she got in without even trying. I wonder where I got that idea from,” he said. I lifted my head, Jared’s face relaxed. A lump formed in my throat and he reached out, putting a hand on my shoulder. “Jensen. I heard it in your voice when you called me just now. Something’s different.”
“I don’t want to be in a relationship,” I said. “I honestly don’t.”
“Maybe she’ll be the one to make you change your mind on that.”
“She’s not even interested in me. I’m a widow with 3 small kids. I’m away from home a lot. I’m the worst person in the world to date.”
“Maybe. But you’re a pretty good person to love and be loved by. Might just be enough, even for a grumpy Ackles.”
“She did make me coffee,” I said quietly, lip twitching up.
“Coffee?”
“I know. But it’s...I don’t know. Something...changed. She was pretty when I opened the door but when she made me coffee, that’s when I noticed that feeling.”
“Maybe she’ll make you coffee again,” he said, smirking as he stood up. “Outside.”
“Hm?”
“Outside with the cute nanny. Let’s go,” he said, dragging me off the bed to my feet. He pulled off the beanie and pushed me out of the room, being a little shit and trying to pick me up. I kicked my feet up and we both went backwards, Jared grinning and giving me that look.
“Oh you’re on little shit,” I said, flipping my leg around, Jared yelping as he got pulled down to the side. I jumped on top of him, Jared rolling me back. A spark of pain shot down my hip, Jared instantly up and off. “I’m alright.”
“You stretching it out still like you’re supposed to?” he asked. I rolled my eyes and he helped me to my feet, waiting as I did a few wide circles with my leg. “Do your at home physical therapy ya idiot.”
“I”m perfectly fine. Just save the wrestling for the rug next time,” I said. “You want to say hey to Y/N?”
“No that’s cool. I’m sure I’ll properly meet her when you’re ready for me too,” he said. “Oh and Arrow and Zeppelin ate way too much candy at my house so have fun with that.”
“I hate you.” He grinned and let out a chuckle. “Hopefully they burn off some running around out there at least.”
“It wasn’t that bad,” he said. “Do you want to grab a drink later? Maybe hit up the brewery?”
“I don’t know,” I said, rubbing my arm for a moment.
“Do you want to be on your own tonight?” I blinked, Jared shrugging. “Might as well be point blank about it. Since you’re never lying to me again, right?”
“Let me call up the neighbors, see if the girl next door can watch the kids tonight. I wouldn’t mind a little fun,” I said.
“Shoot me a text and I’ll swing by around eight,” he said.
“Jared.” He stopped turning to leave and I sighed. “I’m sorry I lied to you. I’m...we rarely fight. Rarely. But this is kinda big and I want to tell you the truth but I’m scared if I do you’ll walk out that door and never look back.”
“We can fight, Jensen. I’m sure we’ll have more someday. We can get pissed as hell at each other. But your ass is stuck with me forever and I’m stuck with yours. I know you and I love you and you’re my big brother. We’re not supposed to agree all the time. We’re gonna hurt each other sometimes. That’s just part of being a family though. I’ll never walk out on you just like I know you won’t do that to me. It’s different right now. I know. I don’t want this to stress you out. You got enough of that going on. Tell me when you’re ready okay?”
“I never saw a therapist. I lied to get everyone off my back when I was still...like this after a few months. I thought I could handle it on my own. I’m sorry for lying, especially to you.” Jared nodded, biting his bottom lip for a moment. “You’re angry.”
“Angry at myself, not you. I know what it’s like to feel alone, that alone. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I’m sorry you’ve felt that alone Jensen. I didn’t realize you felt that badly and I should have. That’s why I’m upset. Not at you.”
“You’ve grown up more,” I said quietly.
“If we can get back to me being the one freaking out over shit and you being the adult I’d prefer that,” he chuckled. He put his hands on my shoulders and smiled. “I got your back. Always.”
“I don’t want to go to one.”
“You’re a big boy. You can decide on your own. Just...call me when you feel shitty next time?”
“I will. I promise.”
“Or to talk about Y/N,” he teased. I rolled my eyes, Jared giving me a quick hug.
“Dick.”
“But I’m your dick. I’ll see you tonight.”
“See ya.”
______
A/N: Read Part 2 here!
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Blurb idea: learning how to paint nails just to do lessi’s (and being teased about it) and it being a tradition since unc days. I rule simpland
magic hands / alessia russo
you’d never been one for the feminine things in life. shunning pretty dresses, manicures and makeup in favour of a more masculine style. your girlfriend, on the other hand, loved it.
alessia loved to get dressed up, loved her heels and short skirts (which you absolutely weren’t complaining about), and most especially, she loved her manicures. as long as you’d known her, she’d always had her nails done, setting herself time aside when she could to splash out on a little well-deserved pamper session.
you loved how she looked after them - what with you being engaged in your own little love affair with lessi’s hands. you loved how they felt in your own, loved how she’d play with your fingers when she was upset, or tired, or anxious. you loved stroking her soft palms as the two of you lay entwined in bed. you loved the way her long fingers caressed your face when you kissed, loved how her nails were the perfect length to scratch your back to send you to sleep.
and you especially loved how they’d rake through your hair, when things got a little more heated, loved how they’d trail downwards, loved how their motions told you exactly what lessi was after. loved how they wrapped around your waist, how they splayed over your hipbones, how they dipped beneath the waistband of your trousers, and everything that they did after. yeah, those hands were magic, and they deserved to be looked after in the best possible way.
a few months after the two of you moved to unc though, alessia found herself too busy, too wrapped up in juggling all the facets of college life, to set the time aside.
the two of you were lying on the bed in your dorm, winding down after a long day of training and lectures. you were absentmindedly stroking lessi’s arm as you watched the show playing on your laptop, but alessia’s attention was elsewhere.
god, my nails are a state
you looked down at her to find her examining her hands, peering critically at her nails as she turned her hands over and over.
they look fine to me, i thought you were getting them done this weekend?
had to cancel, i’ve got too much work to catch up on
she looked up at you then, eyes hopeful and a little sly.
will you paint them for me?
you swallowed. you wanted to, always willing to do anything to please her, but there was a large problem, in that you absolutely could not paint nails. you’d tried once before, and it had been very apparent that your creativity on the pitch did not extend to any sort of artistic skill. you hated to let her down, but there was no way you were going to do anything to mess up those beautiful hands.
i can’t lessi, i’m shit at it, why don’t you paint your own?
alessia honest to god pouted at you, and you pressed your lips to her hairline in apology.
no, i always mess up my right hand - it’s okay, i’ll just have to wait until i get some free time
you nodded, kissing her forehead again as she turned her attention back to the laptop. this time though, it was you who’s attention was elsewhere, as you begun to hatch a plan.
you pulled aside one of your teammates before training the next day. you’d had to think long and hard about who to ask - it would’ve been lotte, but she was about as clueless as you when it came to nails - so instead you settled on one of the juniors who you were friendly with, and who always had perfect acrylics.
you swallowed your pride a little, before you told her your plan, ending with a desperate plea for help. you knew you were subjecting yourself to teasing, with you already being on the end of a lot of friendly fire about how soft you were for lessi. sure enough, you had to face a bit of banter, including a lengthy mime of a whip cracking, before she gave you some tips and a list of the best nail polishes to buy.
you felt a little bad blowing off alessia’s request for you to join her in her room, but you had an important mission. and so that evening, you found yourself alone in your dorm, only a few bottles of nail polish to keep you company.
your first attempt was a mess. you’d rather cleverly neglected to buy nail polish remover, and, having chosen to practice on yourself for the sake of secrecy, you now had a rather untidy set of bright pink nails to show.
luckily, you didn’t have any classes with lessi the next day, meaning you’d have time to go out and get stuff to clean it off before you saw her. on the flip side, you shared your morning classes with a lot of your teammates, who were quick to notice it.
what the fuck is on your hands?
ooh very pretty y/l/n!
did you get molested by a barbie doll?
you groaned and folded your hands under your desk, knowing you were never going to live this down.
alright, alright, thank you - i’m, uh, i’m trying to teach myself how to paint nails so i can do lessi’s - but it’s a surprise so do not tell her
god you’re so whipped
that’s kinda sweet though, but yeah, these are fucking awful
right we’re gonna help you - but please let me take a picture first
you groaned again, putting your head in your hands. you didn’t realise your mistake until you heard your friend’s camera click, followed by peals of laughter. you grinned up at them, flashing an exaggerated model pose with your hands, before very exuberantly flipping them off.
your nails were thankfully bare by the time you saw alessia at training. she wrapped you up in a quick hug, having missed you the night before, but her attention was drawn away by the whispers and laughs of your teammates. news of your efforts, it appeared, had spread, and you spent the whole session trying to divert alessia’s attention from the many vogue-esque hand gestures the whole team were making at you whenever less wasn’t looking.
you spent the next few nights diligently painting your nails, as well as half the team’s - who had made it their mission to be your practice clients. with their tips, and with a lot of repetitions, you managed to improve greatly, until one night they decided that you had officially passed as a nail technician. as an added bonus, they’d managed to keep lessi in the dark, although she did question why almost the entire team showed up to the match with matching nails.
after the game, you told lessi to meet you in your room. she accepted your invitation readily, having not seen much of you this week. so here she was, perched on your bed, and a little perplexed at why you seemed nervous.
okay less, close your eyes - i have a surprise for you
alessia’s confusion deepened, but she hesitantly did as you asked.
should i be worried?
maybe, alright open them
you stood hesitantly in front of alessia, a little worried of how she would react - what if she didn’t want you to do her nails any more? what if she’d already booked a new appointment?
she looked down from you, to see the spread of nail-related paraphernalia you’d laid out in front of her. over the course of the week, you’d really gone all out - a huge variety of shades, various nail files and cuticle kits, a full manicure set, even massage oil and fresh hand towels.
i’ve been practicing, can i?
alessia smiled up at you, and the look she gave you nearly made you fall in love all over again. she nodded, and you sat down in front of her and set to work.
you started with a hand massage, having been assured by your teammates that they felt very good. you took your time as you gently worked the oil into her hands, admiring each long finger individually as you continued. you started out a little nervously, constantly checking up on her that it was okay, but soon enough the smile on her face let you know that this had definitely been a good idea.
then you moved onto the manicure, working slowly, taking your time to make it perfect. alessia relaxed into the familiar feeling of her hands in yours, and you got into your rhythm. she watched you as you held her hands in yours, eyes full of love as she observed your expression, full of deep concentration as you took great care at every step.
alessia loved getting her nails done, but this was a whole other level. it didn’t go unnoticed to her how much care you were taking, and how much effort you must have put into learning this - just for her. suddenly your absences in her room this week made sense, as did some other things.
is this why all the girls had matching blue nails earlier?
you laughed and nodded, eyes never leaving your work.
yeah they’ve been helping me - a few of them even tried to make bookings for next week
i can see why
well i told them no - this is just for you
at least we know you’ve got options if you ever quit football
i’d smack you if i wasn’t worried about messing up your nails
she laughed, and the two of you fell into comfortable silence as you finished up. when you were done, you sat back, admiring your work. alessia held her hands up to peer at them, before nodding resolutely.
A-plus babe
you like them?
she nodded again. before she leaned forward to peck your lips gently.
very much, thank you baby - i’m going to have to get you to do this every time
good, because i spent a fortune on this nail stuff
true to your word, you kept it up. you did the occasional one of your friend’s nails when they asked, but your main priority was alessia. it became another one of your things. every time she needed to de-stress, or relax, or you just wanted to show her some love and tlc, you’d pull out your nail kit and get to work.
over the years your skills got better and better, until you were borderline professional, learning to do french tips and even acrylics, but to alessia, every time felt like the first, taking her back to the days at unc when you were young and dumb in love. and each time, she fell a little more in love with you, and your magic hands.
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THERE FOR YOU / K.M
Pairing ◊ idol!reader x idol!minjae
Genre ◊ established relationship, fluff, slight angst
Warnings ◊ talk about a form of anorexia and burning out
Word count ◊ 2,7k
Summary ◊ Your group was having a comeback in a few weeks, and you were beyond stressed. Adding to your stress, your boyfriend Minjae was in the middle of the promotions for Xikers’ new album. You always made your relationship work, but not this time. You were under so much pressure that you passed out during practice.
a/n ◊ Just something that was in the back of my head. Hope you enjoy!
You sat on your bed, your laptop propped open, and your face illuminated by the soft glow of he screen. Your group’s comeback was just a few weeks away, and the pressure was mounting. You glanced at the clock: 11:47 pm. You were waiting for Minjae to call. He had promised to video call you after finishing his practice. You had been crazy busy lately, juggling your schedules and trying to maintain your relationship in secret.
The screen lit up with an incoming call. You quickly accepted, and Minjae’s tired but smiley face appeared. He looked exhausted, his hair damp with water, and you felt a pang of guilt for adding to his stress, a feeling that was becoming all too familiar.
‘’Hey,’’ he said, managing a small smile.
‘’Hey,’’ you replied, trying to sound cheerful despite being tired. ‘’How was rehearsal?’’
‘’Exhausting,’’ he sighed, running a hand through his hair. ‘’We keep going over the same parts over and over again. I think we’re all at our breaking point.’’
You nodded, understanding the feeling all too well. ‘’I get it. We had to redo our entire choreography three times today; I feel like my brain’s gonna explode. Nothing’s ever perfect enough.’’
Minjae leaned back, his frustration evident. ‘’I don’t know why they keep pushing us so hard. It’s not like we’re machines.’’
You bit your lip, hesitating before speaking. ‘’Well, maybe if you weren’t always so hard on yourself, it maybe wouldn’t feel that way.’’
His eyes narrowed slightly, his eyebrow rising. ‘’What’s that supposed to mean?’’
‘’Just that you push yourself too hard sometimes,’’ you explained, your voice softening. ‘’You don’t have to be perfect all the time.’’
‘’And you’re the one talking,’’ he scoffed coldly. ‘’You know I have to be though. You don’t understand half of the pressure I’m under.’’
You felt your frustration rising. ‘’Don’t act like you’re the only one under pressure. I’m dealing with my own stress too, Minjae.’’
He scoffed again, his voice filled with frustration. ‘’Yeah, but at least your group already made their marks. You’re not getting compared to every other rookie group out there.’’
His words hurt you a little. Yes, your group debuted three years ago, but that did not mean you were not compared to every other group out there. Your eyes flashed with anger. ‘’And you think it's easy for me? We're constantly being criticized for our looks, our voices, everything. Don't belittle my struggles.’’
He sighed and rubbed his temples, closing his eyes. ‘’I'm not belittling you. I just...I don't know, y/n. Everything's piling up, and I don't know how to deal with it.’’
You felt a lump in your throat. ‘’It kinda feels like we're just taking our frustrations out on each other right now.’’
"Maybe we are,’’ Minjae admitted, his voice low.’’Maybe it's too much to handle right now.’’
You felt tears pricking at the corners of your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. You looked away quickly, trying to regain your composure. ‘’Look, it’s late. I should probably sleep. Long day tomorrow.’’
He nodded slowly, his face tense. ‘’That’s probably a good idea. Goodnight, y/n’’
‘’Goodnight.’’
The screen went dark as the call ended. You stared at your reflection on the black screen, feeling sadness and relief. You looked at the time; it was already late, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. You sighed heavily, rubbing your face with your hands. Your eyes were filled with tears, and you shook your head, hoping it would make them go away.
Morning came fast, and you only slept an hour. It’s you who seem to be aligning at the moment. Your days had become a blur of rehearsals, no sleep, and barely any food. The pressure to look and perform perfectly weighed heavily on you. You skipped meals, surviving on water, an occasional piece of fruit, and vitamins, convinced you needed to stay as thin as possible. Today was no exception. The dance studio was filled with your comeback track blaring through the speakers.
You glanced at your phone for the hundredth time today, but still no message from Minjae. You knew he was busy, but it still made you sad. You felt alone. You threw your phone across the room, and it landed on the little couch in the corner of the studio. The choreography started again, and you were at the center; your movements were shared, but your face showed exhaustion. Your group members, Hana, Jiwoo, and Mina, exchanged worried glances as they watched you push through the choreography.
‘’Y/n, you need to take a break,’’ Hana called out during a brief pause in the music. ‘’You’ve been going nonstop.’’
‘’I’m fine,’’ you insisted, your voice strained. ‘’Let’s just do it one more time.’’
Jiwoo, the leader of your group, stepped forward, concern etched on her face. ‘’You don’t look fine. You’re pale, and you look like you’re about to pass out.’’
‘’I’m just a bit tired,’’ you said, brushing off their worries. ‘’We need to be perfect.’’
Mina, the eldest, put a hand on your shoulder. ‘’You know, pushing yourself this hard isn’t gonna help. When was the last time you’ve had a proper meal or a proper night’s sleep.’’
You shook your head, your vision blurring slightly as you did. ‘’I can’t afford to gain weight before the comeback.’’
You stepped back into position, determined to get through the routine again. The music started again, and you threw yourself into the dance, your movement increasingly unsteady. As you reached the final chorus, you felt a wave of dizziness wash over you, but you pushed through. The world around began to spin, the studio lights blurring into one another. Your breath came in short, labored gasps, and your limbs felt heavy. As you hit the final pose, your vision went black, and you fell onto the floor.
‘’Y/n!’’ Hana screamed as she saw you collapsed to the floor.
The music was cut off abruptly, and the member rushed to your side. You lay on the ground, unconscious and very pale. Mina frantically checked your pulse while Jiwoo classed for an ambulance.
‘’She’s not waking up,’’ Mina said, her voice shaking.
Jiwoo spoke urgently into her phone, explaining the situation to the emergency operator. Minutes felt like hours as they waited for the paramedics to arrive. Hana held your hand, tears streaming down her face. ‘’Please wake up. Please be okay.’’
When the paramedics arrived, they quickly assessed your condition. You were severely dehydrated and exhausted. They placed an oxygen mat over your face and prepared to lift you onto a stretcher.
The members watched in helpless fear as you were carried away. They followed the ambulance in a different car, their hearts heavy with worry and guilt. They had seen the signs but couldn’t convince you to take better care of yourself.
The girls were pacing back and forth in the waiting room as the doctors took you to run some tests. Hana was sitting in one of the metal chairs, her head in her hands, and Mina and JIwoo were walking back and forth. Each passing minute felt like an eternity as they anxiously waited for updates.
‘’We should call Minjae,’’ Hana said, her voice trembling. ‘’He deserves to know what’s happening.’’
Mina shook her head, her eyes red from crying. ‘’He’s in the middle of a recording for a music show. We can’t disrupt him. ‘’
Jiwoo stopped and turned to face them. ‘’She’s his girlfriend. He needs to know. I don’t care if he’s recording.’’
‘’But what if it affects his performance?’’ Mina argued. ‘’He’s already under so much pressure.’’
Hana sighed, her frustration evident. ‘’This isn’t about his performance; this is about y/n. He should at least know what’s going on. Wouldn’t you like to know if something similar happened to Sunwoo?’’
Mina’s lips parted as she was going to answer, but the mention of her boyfriend made her stop. The argument continued, their voices rising in the silent room. Finally, Jiwoo raised her hands in surrender. ‘’Enough. I’m going to call him.’’
She retreated to a quiet corner of the waiting area, shaking her hands as she dialed Mine’s number. She took a deep breath as she heard the ringtone, praying he would pick up quickly.
‘’Hello?’’ Minjae’s voice came through the phone, tired but surprised. Y/n’s member never called him unless it was something important.
‘’Minjae, it’s Jiwoo,’’ she said, her voice breaking. ‘’It’s y/n, she’s… we’re in the hospital right now.’’
There was a brief pause before Mine’s tone changed to one of worry. ‘’What happened? Is she okay? Is she hurt?’’
‘’She… she collapsed during practice,’’ Jiwoo explained, her voice strained as the tears threatened to come out. ‘’She’s been pushing herself way too hard. Not eating, not sleeping… We’re waiting for updates, but apparently, she is extremely dehydrated and exhausted.’’
His heart sank as tears welled up in his eyes. ‘’Oh my god…’’ he said, his voice breaking. ‘’I’m leaving right now.’’
‘’Minjae, you’re in the middle of recording,’’ Jiwoo said, her voice gentle but firm. ‘’Finish your performance first, please. We can’t have you run away like that.’’
He shook his head as if she could see him, his voice filled with frustration. ‘’I can’t just stay here while she’s in the hospital.’’
Jiwoo tried to reassure him. ‘’We’ll be here with her, and I’ll text you if we have any updates. Just come as soon as you can, okay?’’
He sighed heavily. ‘’Okay. If she wakes up, tell her I love her. I’ll be there as soon as I’m done. We only have two cuts left to shoot.’’
As soon as the call ended, his focus was shattered. His group members noticed his distress immediately. Sumin, one of his closest friends and fellow members, approached him.
‘’Hyung, everything okay? What’s wrong?’’ He asked, concern evident in his voice.
‘’It’s y/n,’’ he replied, his voice strained. ‘’She collapsed during practice today. She’s in the hospital.’’
Sumin’s lips parted in shock. ‘’Oh my god, is she okay?’’
He bit his lips, trying to prevent a tear from slipping away from his eyes. ‘’The girls are waiting for an update. I don’t know.’’
He gently patted Minjae’s shoulder as support. The recording session dragged on painfully, each second feeling like an hour to Minjae. He pushed through the performance, his mind elsewhere, and his movements mechanical. Xikers’ member did their best to support him, but the worry was also evident on their faces.
As soon as the final cut was called, Minjae didn’t bother to change out of his stage outfit or anything. He exited the studio and hopped in a taxi, giving the hospital’s address. He did not even take his bag or phone; he was too worried to think about anything other than coming to the hospital to be there for you.
He busted into the hospital, still in his stage outfit, makeup smudged from sweat and worry. He found your members in the waiting room, their faces lighting up with relief as they saw him.
‘’Minjae!’’ Hana exclaimed, rushing to him.
‘’How is she?’’ He said, panting.
‘’They’re still running some tests. We don’t have any information.’’ Jiwoo said, trying to keep her calm, but her eyes were puffy and red.
Minjae nodded. ‘’What happened?’’
Jiwoo sighed, guilt evident in her voice. ‘’She’s been pushing herself too hard, practicing too hard. We tried to get her to slow down, but she wouldn’t listen.’’
He clenched his fists, anger mixing with his worry. ‘’You should’ve told me. I should’ve been there for her.’’
Hana placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. ‘’We all missed the signs. We didn’t realize how bad it was until now.’’
‘’And we had that stupid fight yesterday,’’ he said, more to himself, his voice a mere whisper. He ran his hand on his face. ‘’I should’ve been more understanding.’’ The guilt gnawed at him.
A tall man walked towards them, his expression serious. ‘’Hello, I’m Dr. Yoon,’’ he said, his voice serious. ‘’You’re y/n’s relatives, correct?’’ They all nodded. They all felt their heart race as they prepared themselves for the news. ‘’She is suffering from severe exhaustion, dehydration, and malnutrition.’’ He explained. ‘’Her body has been pushed beyond its limits, but she is stable now and responding to treatment, so that’s good news. She’ll need a lot of rest, paper nutrition, and time to recover fully.’’
‘’Can we see her?’’ Minjae asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
‘’You, you can go in,’’ the doctor replied. ‘’She’s still sleeping, and letting her rest is important. You can one by one.’’
Minjae looked at your members, who nodded at him, saying he should go first. He nodded, feeling a mixture of relief and worry. He followed the doctors into your room, his heart racing as he saw you lying there, pale and fragile. He gently took your hand, feeling the warmth of your skin against his.
He sat down beside her bed, his fingers slightly brushing your hair. Tears moistened his eyes, and he felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. He had been so caught up in his stress that he hadn’t seen the signs. He hadn’t been there for you when you needed him the most.
‘’I’m so sorry, my love.’’ He whispered, his voice choked with emotion. ‘’I should have been there for you.’’
Ten minutes passed, and he watched you breathe, waiting for any sign that you were waking up. Finally, your eyes fluttered open, and you looked around, disoriented. He quickly regained his composure.
‘’Y/n.’’ He said softly, trying to form a smile somehow. ‘’Hey there, sleepyhead.’’
You blinked, your eyes focusing on him. ‘’Minjae? What happened?’’
‘’You collapsed during practice,’’ he explained gently, trying to keep his voice steady. ‘’You’ve been pushing yourself too hard. The doctors said you to rest.’’
‘’Oh my god,’’ you said, tears welling up in your eyes. ‘’Fuck, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.’’
He smiled, though his eyes glistened with tears, and shook his head. ‘’You sure scared me. But what’s important now is that you’re okay. And you better believe I’m going to make sure you take care of yourself from now on,’’ he leaned closer, kissing your forehead softly. ‘’You know, you don’t always have to be perfect. You’re already perfect to me, love.’’
You managed a small smile, your hand squeezing his. ‘’Thank you for being here.’’
‘’Where else would I be ?’’ He replied, his tone playful. You’re stuck with me now, whether you like it or not.’’
You glanced at him, eyes widening slightly. ‘’Why are you in your stage outfit?’’
He chuckled, brushing off her concern. ‘’Don’t worry about that right now. Just focus on getting better.’’
‘'No, really,’’ you insisted. ‘’Tell me why.’’
He sighed, relenting. ‘’ I rushed here right after my recording. I didn't even change. I just had to make sure you were okay.’’
Your eyes softened, tears welling up again. ‘’I'm so sorry for making you worry. And we had that stupid fight yesterday…’’
Minjae shook his head, gently placing a hand on your head. "Shh, let's not think about that. What's important is that you're going to be okay. We'll talk about everything else later.’’ He smiled, looking at you. He gently scolded you, trying to keep the mood light. ‘’And no more skipping meals or staying up all night, okay? I want you to be healthy and happy. Understood?’’
‘’Yes, sir,’’ you slightly chuckled, your voice weak. ‘’I promise.’’
Minjae chuckled, the sound warm and comforting. ‘’Good. Because if you don't, I'll have to call you by all those embarrassing pet names you hate in front of everyone.’’
You laughed softly, the sound like music to his ears. ‘’Alright, alright. No more pushing myself too hard.’’
"That's my girl," Minjae said, his heart swelling with love. He stayed by her side, holding your hand. For the rest of the day, he never left your side? He watched you as you slept, making sure you were comfortable and did not need anything, and when you woke up, he was there, ready with a smile and gentle words. He promised himself he would never leave your side and always be there for you from now on.
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Summary: Loki finally catches you time slipping after you guys break up. Little does he know the different lives you guys could have shared.
Characters: Loki x (Reader (Y/N) Mobius, Sylvie
Subject: Fingering, foreplay, french kissing, angst reader, dominant Loki, makeup sex, Loki season 2 (non spoiler smut) , 18+ ONLY,
Intercourse, doggy style, slow burn emotional sex,
Words:1.4k
(I wish I could watch Loki again for the first time. I love the aesthetic. It’s probably the only MCU show I’m able to keep up with at the moment. Everything else is not on my agenda lately to be written about.) Wrote this late at night tired af 🤡
You TemPad back into the TVA with burning red eyes trying to hold back the tears. There was nothing in your mind that mattered but some sheer solitude away from loki. He completely messed up your life. He was just a regular variant that needed to be controlled. What made him seem like he was any different from the rest? Maybe you were the weaker link in the TVA that he was able to manipulate the most.
You stood in the middle of the TVA main monitor before striding down the hall toward a vacant interrogation room. You slumped down in the chair and exhaled. Loki was under Mobius' responsibility and couldn’t run off without knowing his where abouts at all times. This was your chance to disconnect from whatever was happening. Mobius warned you many times before to stay away from him but you couldn’t help wondering what made this man think he was different from the rest of the variants at the TVA. Every flirtatious moment, slight touch and seductive gazed sent major shivers down your spine when he was even near you. Loki was helping you guys track down the unknown variant but little did you know that the same viarant apparently named “Sylvie” was something of his own new desire.
You heard a slight presence from somewhere in the dark room. “I told you, didn't I? Mobius lingered from behind. “Please leave me alone in my own thoughts for a second before you rub it in my face” “Nahhh I think this is all too good of a moment to pass up” Mobius slid his hands in his pockets. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much, just think about it for a sec…the guy fell for a female version of himself.. That isn’t someone worth gloating about... trust me” Mobius stood across from the table. “Well you know you can't help who you fall in love with” you whispered. “That doesn’t exist here. You had a job to do, and you preferred to be selfish and cause more timelines to branch out. I hope you’re happy”
“You and I both know that wasn’t the plan” you retorted.
“None of this was (Y/N)!.. “ He scoffed. Now you are a part of a case that I do not want my own friend involved in. It just became personal and more difficult, so I hope I won’t have to prune you.”
“Don’t worry. you won’t” you flipped your TemPad open and vanished.
.............................
“I care about you Sylvie and quite honestly I did at one point wanted to be with you but I don’t really like you in that way .” Loki reached out for Sylvie sitting down. “Look it doesn’t not matter what I think, the TVA is in complete shambles and that’s really the only thing that makes me happy at the moment.”
Loki looked up at Sylvie’s face and noticed a glimpse of hurt. “I think you’re a pain in the ass,” he chuckled. “Why? You got what you wanted but do you realize it won’t include you if there isn't a timeline to begin with?”
Sylvie slid down off of the truck. “ I meant every last word. Now excuse me, I’ll like to enjoy my peace.” With a brush against Loki’s shoulder, Sylvie walked back into the restaurant.
Loki pinched his nose. His patience was running thin with everyone. For the love of god, he loved both you and Sylvie but only he couldn’t go back to the godly way of juggling several women at once. All he could think about was you right now and being wrapped up in your sheer company. Maybe he should just let Sylvie be alone for a while, he was sure she would be okay for the “time” being. First, he needed to find you and make sure you were not going to disappear from the end of time.
The gentle breeze swept your face as you inhaled the beautiful air from outside. You watched from across the street an amazing white picket fence house with a red truck parked right outside the garage. You moved your hands in your pocket and watched your variant self with a yoga mat and gigantic hand bag in the other. Also resting between your ear and shoulder was your phone talking extremely loud to whatever person there was. Just look at you, you did a sly smile to yourself and felt the sheer joy of seeing not only a different version of yourself but the most regular you but with Loki in it too. There he went trying to walk to the mailbox looking at maybe letters? Bills? Who knows. But it made you happy. Your variant self drove off in a hurry and waved Loki bye in the process. You wondered what it would be like to meet this version of him. Would he still look at you the same? Touch you? Or would he come off as a weird delusional variant? It wouldn’t hurt to try to see. Before you could take another step closer a strong arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you into another dimension.
You lunged toward an unknown bedroom. You turned to meet Loki’s gaze staring right at you.
“Why?’ That’s all you could spit out. “I’m pretty sure I’m the last person you need to talk to save the universe? Am I not correct?”
“Listen, I can explain” Loki gently closed the gap between you too. “I don’t need to hear your lies” you didn’t even want to look at his face.
“(Y/N) please I love you” he took your hands into his and gave you those big pleading eyes.
“What about Sylvie? Isn’t she more important?” You wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. “Just a friend my dearest” he brushed your hot cheek with his thumb. Oh how much you missed his touch.
“I’ll prove it to you” he slowly pressed his lips against yours. You moan into his mouth and let him take the lead. “I’ve always loved you and only you” he kissed the crook of your neck and sucked on the area that made you squirm. Your hands roamed between his loose strands of raven black hair. You gasped, making your grip harder around his shoulders. You backed away and slipped off your TVA jacket and pulled your shirt off.
“May I?” Loki gestured toward your pants and gently undid your buttons. He locked his lips onto yours wanting access with his tongue. You hummed letting him dance around your mouth. His hands pulled your pants down leaving you with nothing but bare lace panties. Loki let fingers slip into your bare wetness. You bite your lip watching him dance his fingers around your clit in slow strokes.
“Oh how much I’ve wanted to pleasure you” Loki soft fingers builded up the milky white wetness of your flower while you cry out in moans into his ear.
“Loki” you whispered, grinding your hips to his hand. His pace quickened while he devoured your neck with his wet tongue. Your fingers scratched his jacket wanting more of him inside.
“Please” you breathed. Loki pulled his fingers away and sucked his fingers clean of your juices.
“Lay down” he gently gestured you toward the bed.
“I want you on your hands and knees dear” You do as you were told and kneel with your bare ass in the air. You hear the sound of a belt buckle before Loki adjusted your hips toward his entrance. You gently hitched your breath feeling him tease his tip inside your wet dripping folds.
“Are you ready my love?” he bent over nibbling at your ear. Moaning while you feel him fill you up.
‘Y-yes” you breathed. Loki smirked, ready to make you his.
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My Season 3 Diatribe
for @wowbright who gave me a platform that I really didn't need but took anyway. ;)
The thing about Glee was that it started with a woman being fake pregnant for thirteen episodes and then ended the season with a baby being born while Bohemian Rhapsody blared in the background. It was weird and crazy and insane and just edgy enough that it was being talked about but not too niche that it couldn't find an audience. It also hit in the sweet spot of the Obama years when, as a nation, we could get on board with being a little different and a little crazy.
Ryan Murphy is both a genius and insane at the same time. I'm not really fond of him, and I think his tendency for going big sometimes obscures the nuances of really good storytelling. But he knows how to make a loud statement. And Glee was that loud statement.
And then it got big. Too big. It got more money, an awards, and the national stage, and then all eyes were on it. And Ryan Murphy got tired because that's also Ryan Murphy - being distracted by American Horror Story where he could be abstract in the way his brain really wanted to go. And so, new writers were brought in, but having all eyes on it meant you had to dial it back, and the new writers didn't jive the same way, nor could they really juggle all of the new network notes, ballooning cast, mandates of the Glee project and responsibility for now having to be a 'role model' for all the new outsiders who were hanging on.
The show was once about being an awkward kid in the 80s. And then it was forced into becoming a mouthpiece for the changing times of the 2010s.
And that... doesn't work.
The funniest thing is way back when... after I had stopped watching the show for a while, Season 3 is what brought me back. I did think, for a moment in time, that I liked it better than Seasons 1 or 2. I can't exactly tell you why. But The First Time is when I fell in love, and maybe you feel connected to something when you fall in love with it that you can't really discribe.
And I hated Season 4. and I was listening to a podcast of the day (Those of you who remember Lima Heights Adjacent?) and the group of people were talking about how, with all of its faults, Season 4 was at least NOT Season 3. And I was confused because at the time - I much preferred Season 3. Because my favorite couple was at least a couple back then -- because the cast was people I liked. Because the episodes were easy to digest and the structure of it, while being bland and predictable, fit into a nice, uniform way of storytelling.
And then time moved on, and I left my twenties, and digested the entire story (the second half, with all of its faults, does not get the recognition it deserves -- despite it falling apart at all times) and got a lot better at critical analysis and media analysis and being open to the ideas of others and just... shake my head.
When you look at the whole, Season 3 isn't AS bad as I make it seem sometimes. There's a good chunk of it, right in the middle, that is... more watchable than what's at the beginning and end.
There is, however, a laundry list of reasons why it's not good -- from questionable story telling choices to dulling the edge of a more biting comedy to just not being able to service all the characters it has in a satisfactory way. They botched Santana's story, which had been set up nicely in season 2. They threw in guest stars and special episodes to throw off that they didn't really know what to do with the story other than praise Rachel Berry and get those kids winning nationals and graduated. They took Kurt and completely neutered him in a way that went against everything they had built him up to be in the first two seasons. And so on and so on and so on.
But I suppose most egregiously -- they played it safe and it was no longer interesting.
I don't fully understand why people love it so much. But I will say - part of the reason might be why I liked it at the time. There's a huge influx of newer fans always coming to the show. And like Klaine, Brittana (which has a following unlike it ever did when it aired) remains together and having the most screen time in Season 3. All the original characters are around, and the story structure, if nothing else, is secure and sound and plays out exactly as its supposed to. Rachel Berry gets the crown, Will gets the teacher of the year, and they all win nationals - hell, even Sue gets a baby. Cue the music and roll credits.
To each their own.
Season 4 comes next with its awkward new characters and its break ups and its wild ups and downs. And then season 5 with its grief and queer in a way that's not accessible but fuck it who cares and season 6 that just wants to go back to the beginning and end it all like the weird creation it was when it started. And as complicated as all of that is -- it's not as digestible as Season 3. I like the afterwards better. But I understand that some people won't. It has, after all, taken me years to get to this level of appreciation.
Who knows how people are going to look at it in ten, fifteen, fifty years. I'm sure, as streaming shows continue to go on and on and on and nothing dies any more, it'll take on different tones and different meanings.
Maybe this time around - those people just need that comfort.
I can't tell you.
But it won't ever be my favorite. And that's fine. As always, ymmv.
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Your wish is my command.
So my favorite character, my baby, my precious child is Cerise Hood. She's such an interesting character, she feels real. I read the books back to back so I'm not sure in which is what but to me, Cerise is the character that's juggling the most(and you can absolutely correct me if I'm wrong) but she is essentially balancing her mother's, her father's AND her sister's fate in her 15? years old hands.
And, I think it's in the second book, when she reveals her secret to Raven, that I'm like, hang on this girl is not straight. She takes Raven to meet her mom, because Raven is going through that whole mess with Apple, so she takes her there, in my opinion, to prove to her that yes you can rebel against your destiny and still be happy, you won't be miserable just because you're different. Then, she tells her mom she's tired of hiding but her mom responds saying it's too soon AND SHE AGREES, as she always has. Because keeping the secret it's an essential part of their lives and the consequences for it being revealed are clear. Then when Raven is dragged to the river she doesn’t hesitate and saves her BY REVEALING HER SECRET the thing she just agreed that it's too dangerous and might ruin a lot for many people. She also chooses Raven to be her "driver" in the basket race. But like you have to remember this two haven't been friends from long, I think they have been friends for a year? and in that time period, Cerise tells Raven her secret, risks everything to save her and trusts her implicitly .
And you may ask: why does that matter? Because Cerise said (somewhere) that she was always attracted to the lider of the pack. Now, what's Raven? First of all she's royalty, so inherently she's a lider, then she is the lider of the rebels, whether she wants it or not, and furthermore she's also someone people look up for
And that to say that it bothers the fuck out of me when people say that she has a crush on Daring??? Like what?? The boy who is known for being too vain or a yapper? The boy she has absolutely zero trust in because he is a die hard royal? The boy that dosent even know about her parents?? Say what???
yeah I have very strong feelings about ma girl Cerise and it irks me when people say she isn't an interesting character or she's a hypocrite. So here's my rant, hope you enjoy it🫶🏻🙃
again,,,,, nothing to add so i’m throwing this out here 🙏 i love cerise SO MUCH and this is just. yes
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Could you write Toko Fukawa x fem reader that's like Gomez Addams? Just everything Toko does is worth a kiss on the hand or verbal affection from the reader. If your comfortable maybe the reader becomes blackened by taking out Byakuya
♡Toko Fukawa X Devoted! Fem! Reader♡
Hello!! I really hope I did this request well. Sorry for how late this is, I was juggling coursework with this and I ended up coming down with mega writer’s block. I’m coming out of it though, so I really hope this is okay!!
ALSO THIS WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR THH!!
Have a wonderful day, angel!! Thank you so much for requesting!
~
♡ Oh, you would die for her.
♡ No, seriously, you would genuinely die for her.
♡ She was perfect, and she didn’t even want to be.
♡ At least…not for you, originally.
♡ You’d been enamoured by Toko from the moment you’d laid eyes upon her.
♡ But, there was competition.
♡ Byakuya Togami.
♡ He didn’t even care for Toko and, yet, she still tried to latch onto him.
♡ One mistreat after another, you grew tired of seeing such displays occur.
♡ Fast forward sometime along the Killing Game journey, and you’d managed to earn Toko’s trust.
♡ You’d become her close companion, always beside her, and everyone knew.
♡ You naturally gravitated towards her, often unintentionally.
♡ To say you adored her was an understatement.
♡ If anyone ever needed you, they’d immediately go find Toko. Similarly, if they needed Toko, they’d go look for you.
♡ Most of the time, you were the one being looked for. Unlike Toko, you were on rather good terms with the majority of the class. Out of you and Toko, were the most sociable, often stating what was on your mind but in a more respectful way as compared to Toko.
♡ That being said, however, you defended her with every fibre of your body. You sung Toko’s praises constantly, much to her confusion.
♡ Everyone knew the both of you girls were a unit. Your loyalty to one another did not waver, it was almost threatening.
♡ Everything she did warranted affection from you. She could genuinely just enter the room and you’d immediately go to greet her, putting your joy on blast for all the academy to hear.
♡You treated Toko with extreme devotion, often trying to get her to let you play with her hair, with a soft kiss on her hand becoming the regular way you acknowledged her.
♡ When you first started doing such things, Toko was incredibly confused; a little overwhelmed, but it wasn’t that she didn’t like it. She just…didn’t know what to do??
♡ Nobody ever treated her with such adoration, ever.
♡ But, it was clear, you loved her.
♡ And she loved you.
♡ If there was one promise you knew you could uphold within this killing game, it was that you’d protect Toko no matter what.
♡ No harm was coming to her under your watch.
♡ And, ultimately, you proved that in the most tragic way possible.
♡ The aftermath of the second class trial had occurred, and you were outraged.
♡ Genuinely, you were outraged.
♡ So, Toko had a split personality, and a threatening one at that; no biggie.
♡ But the way you found out?!
♡ Oh, you were enraged.
♡ For reasons beyond your understanding, she turned to Byakuya during the ordeal, informing him of a part of her identity she hadn’t told anyone but you.
♡ And he outed her for it.
♡ In front of everyone.
♡ Your hatred for him only intensified after that, especially knowing how much trust Toko had put unto him.
♡ Usually, you could ignore Byakuya like no problem.
♡ Yet, something about the way he so carelessly threw her confidence in him away like that…angered you. His lack of shame, his absence of guilt, it really stung.
♡ You couldn’t ignore it, not this time.
♡ Toko was everything to you, her wellbeing meaning so very much, which is what prompted you to act the way you did.
♡ So, that’s what lead you to this very moment.
♡ Killing Byakuya was not something you fully intended to do.
♡ Sure, you hated him, but you were determined not to leave Toko behind by acting upon your rage.
♡ However, after everything that had unfolded, you couldn’t help yourself.
♡ The killing happened in a very impulsive manner, but there was a struggle.
♡ Byakuya immediately caught wind of what you were trying to do, and began to fight back.
♡ This, however, did not stop you - you had too much adrenaline.
♡ It only made the killing more fun.
♡ You didn’t know how you’d tell Toko, or even when to tell her.
♡ She was the very meaning of life to you, and you did not want to rope her into your dilemma, nor it’s subsequent consequences.
♡ It would be revealed soon enough, for if you were to live she would have to die.
♡ And that was not what you wanted.
♡ Dying for her would be the biggest honour you could ever think of…
♡ And, so, you let it happen.
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Hello there Clownblr!!! I need your help URGENTLY-
So a couple of days ago, I was walking home and there’s a skip by where I live. This clown scared me out of my skin, and got a pretty good laugh out of me, and I sat and chatted to it for a bit, knowing it was a stray. It was very friendly, and I let it show me some tricks, but when I left he followed me home.
I told him I couldn’t keep him but he was insistent on coming inside so I reluctantly let him- and I contacted my local no kill shelters but they’re all full, and for obvious reasons I’m not taking him to a kill shelter- I asked my long distance bf if maybe ey could house him, but he has very sensitive purebred clowns (the only reason I know anything about clowns is because of em- I’ve never been all that into them myself) and so can’t house them or give me advice because it only really knows about purebreds and this clown is “clearly a mix of at least 4 different types of clown”??
So, clownblr, this is where I turn to you!
As of right now, Scruffy (he picked the name himself!!) will be staying with me for at least the foreseeable future as he shows great distress at the idea of being re-homed, sheltered, or returned to the skip I found him in. So, I need to know how to take proper care of him- and my boyfriend has told me previously about how different breeds of clown have very distinct needs and traits so I figure the first step is identifying what needs scruffy may be made up of!!!
His personality is,, complex to say the least- he’s very friendly, quite cuddly, and enjoys playing with me legos and sitting on top of my fridge. He knows quite a few tricks like juggling and yoyo, and he’s taken quite a liking to the pogo stick in my back garden- but he also enjoys pranking, and quite a few times now he’s jump-scared me. He’s quite hyperactive, but once he gets tired he gets TIRED and will sleep for a good long while. He’s also gotten into my bin?? A couple of times?? Like physically in there- in my rubbish, sitting in it all happy and smiling-
He enjoys pretty much all types of music I’ve shown him, from circus to lo-fi to heavy metal to pop to country, he jams to all of it, and his diet has been literally everything in my fridge for the past couple days, he hasn’t had an aversion to anything or any particular tastes or textures- which also reminds me he is very sensory seeking, he enjoys noise and soft fabrics. He’s also a very co-dependent clown I think? He’s been following me all around the house ever since he got here and requires a lot of attention and affection but I’m not sure if that might just be a trauma thing?
Anyway, that’s a bit about his personality, and I’ve drawn what he looks like because I don’t want to risk exposing him to cameras while he’s as stressed as he is (I know not all clowns are fond of their photo being taken so I didn’t want to risk it)
This is what he looks like!
As you can see, Scruffy is very colourful, pointy ears and black and white makeup. I'm like 99% sure I got all his details in there.
So, clownblr, if you can, please please help me identify the breed(s) of my new clown friend!! And also if anybody has any tips on how I can go about caring for him, please let me know! Many thanks!!
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