#but i want to thin more than i want to eat

[chuuyasheaven]

♥ “ Just melt into my touch. ” ♥

♥ ♥ SCENARIO. Tired and exhausted from the day you just had, Dazai offers to try and help you relax!

PAIRING. D. OSAMU / AFAB! READER. (TW: suggestive)

NOTES. Small drabble to celebrate the fact that I’m finally done with my finals :3

Today wasn’t it, at all. You didn’t know why, but all you needed was your boyfriend’s comfort. As soon as you stepped into your shared apartment, Dazai could already tell how you were feeling. All you had to do was to plop down onto your bed, and have him near you. Your body melted into his touch, but not really in the way he wanted it to.

“But I barely have any strength left to hold on, Dazai.”, you protested as you were sitting next to him, completely naked. “What if you can’t breathe?”, slight concern laced your tone as Dazai laid his back on the bed, not wanting to hear your excuses. “That doesn’t matter, I want you on it now.”, he wasn’t going to back down from this, he needed you to sit on his face. “I don’t give a damn if I can’t breathe, all I need you to do is to sit down and relax, ‘donna.”, you hesitated before asking again to clarify, because your exhaustion has left you weak, too tired to even hold your body over his face for even a mere five minutes. “Are. . are you sure? I don’t wanna hurt you in any way—”, Dazai shot you a glare of hunger and lust to your way, his patience running thin. “You’re not gonna hurt me, sweetheart. I may not look like it, but I’m stronger than I look.”, his assuring words calmed you down a little and you slowly got on his face.

“Stop moving around so much,”, he said in a commanding tone, holding your thighs to stop them of shaking too much. “I told you you’re not gonna hurt me if you sit down completely.”, it hasn’t even been ten minutes and you were struggling to keep your body in place, and it was disturbing Dazai’s meal. “But—”, you couldn’t even finish you protest when you interrupted yourself with a yelp, Dazai locked his arms around your thighs to pull you down on his face. Since this was very sudden, you just let it happen. Now fully sitting on his face, he continued where he left off, his face more importantly his tongue was closer to your cunt. Meaning, he was reaching the deepest spots you didn’t even know you had. Due to your body being extremely exhausted and rather weak, your stamina was rather low, also meaning you were more sensitive than usual. You were arching your back while Dazai was eating you out like a starved man.

“Feels better already, doesn’t it, sweetheart?”

cliffhanger because I’m still burnt out 😞 leave requests if you like so I could be more inspired to write or I’ll just work on old drafts >_<

#chuuya'sheaven ♡ #dazai smut #dazai x reader #bsd dazai #dazai bungou stray dogs #osamu dazai smut #dazai osamu #bungou stray dogs dazai #bsd smut #bungo stray dogs smut

[bequiteanddriveeee]

Fuck. It’s 10am I’ve been up for an hour I can barely move but, when I went to the bathroom I notice my stomach is completly flat, my sides are so much thinner than that girl I wanted to be as small as, I don’t know I’m apathetic to the changes, my legs are looking pretty thin too

It’s getting there,maybe

I have this weird impulse to eat today, it’s more an impulse to feel good, and do things, but what if I don’t I spend my day rotting like if I didn’t eat sure I’d get more done in my rot state maybe even feel what’s left of my humanity

#@nor3×14 #💡as a 🪶 #male @na #34t1ng d1s0rd3r #@na motivation #⭐️ ing motivation #skin&🦴 #light as a feather #4norexla #@nor3xia #boy ana #ana is my life #skinand🦴 #i wanna be sk1nn1 #34t1ng dis0rder #3dtmblr #3ating d1sorder #male 3d #ana b0y #ana male #anaorexya #tw skipping meals #tw restriction #tw an0rexia #tw ed but not sheeran #⭐️ve #light as a 🪶 #skin and 🦴 #st4rv1ng #i need to lose more weight

[vivwritesfics]

i loved the fic u did about nando with a hooker so muchhhh it was so good ❤️

any chance u can do a p2 🙏🙏

this is less a part two and more of an additional blurb (which I'd love to do for these two)

Warnings: Smut, oral (fem!receiving), p in v, unprotected

The Original Fic

Fuck, she looked amazing.

Fernando stood with his back to the door as he looked at her. Sat on the chair, one leg hooked over it's arm, twirling a strand of hair around her finger.

A silk robe covered her (just barely), but Fernando could see everything underneath. The lingerie had all the bells and whistles, lace that allowed him to see more skin and a multitude of straps that helped it to sit so pretty.

But there was something missing, and Fernando knew that. He sucked in a breath as he drank her in. "Santa mierda," he breathed as he looked at her.

The leg hanging over the arm of the chair bounced and she wrapped her lips around her thumb. Her eyes were trained on him, trying to draw him closer. He knew exactly what she was doing, and he loved it.

But there was something missing.

Fernando reached into his pocket, hand settling onto the little box. He strode towards her and got down onto his knees in front of her chair. Nobody else could get him into his knees like this.

She sat forward and hooked her other leg over the other arm of the chair, spreading her legs. Fernando breathed in as he looked in, meeting her eyes. He'd do anything she asked of him.

Hand settling on her waist, he let his thumb brush across her skin. "You look-" He swallowed "-so pretty, Hermosa," he said, eyes falling to the empty space between her breasts. "I bought you something," he said and pulled the black box out of his pocket.

Her eyes sparkled, gasp leaving her lips as he opened the box and took the necklace out, holding it up and dangling it in front of her. "Nando," she whispered as she reached for the charm hanging from the chain.

A flower, a dainty lily of the valley, dangled from the thin chain. It was gorgeous, but it looked fragile and expensive. She looked up from the necklace, meeting Fernando's eyes. "Do you like it?" He asked, other hand moving from her waist to her thigh.

She pulled her lip between her teeth before she answered. "I want you to fuck me in it."

That was all he needed. Fernando stood. He clasped the necklace around her neck and let the charm fall between her breasts. He stood back and took a moment to admire just how pretty it looked. Just how pretty she looked. Fuck, he never wanted her to leave.

Her foot touched his shoulder and she pushed him back onto his knees. Both of his hands gripped her thighs, keeping her apart. His finger hooked around her underwear, pulling him to the side and revealing her to him.

"So pretty, Hermosa," he whispered and moved closer.

Fernando had become an expert in pussy eating. Before her it wasn't something he'd often done. But she'd changed him, and it was for the better.

His lips wrapped around her clit as his fingers probed her hole. Just one at first; he knew how she needed to be prepped slowly.

(Well, not need. But Fernando had been her only 'client' for months now. Her pleasure was his pleasure).

Her manicured fingers (something he was more than happy to pay for) wrapped around his hair and pulled as he worked her. His moan had her writhing, but Fernando's grip held her still.

Lips and fingers working in tandem until it had her tumbling over the edge for the first time that night. But it certainly wouldn't be the last.

Fernando stood. He leaned in and kissed her lips, slow and sweet. Gentle and tasting exactly like pussy. She moaned, Hands still tugging at his hair. But, god, the sounds he made whenever she pulled on him.

He swapped them around, sat her on his lap. She shuffled back, just far enough to free his cock from the confines of his trousers. Her lips were on his neck, chest pressed against his own as she moved her hand. Desperate noises left her lips as he reached up, and reaching up for her.

He touched her breasts, but his fingers didn't linger, instead reaching for the charm that sat between them. But he soon dropped that in favour of holding her neck, applying the slightest bit of pressure. A high pitched whine erupted from her lips.

"Ready?" He asked and she nodded her head, too busy sucking a mark into his neck to answer him.

She pulled away from him and pushed herself up. Pushing her underwear to the side, she sank down onto him. Her entire body shuddered as he wrapped his arms around her, bouncing her slightly.

She moved against him, but not without help. The entire time, Fernando's eyes were locked onto the charm beneath her tits, watching as it bounced. The sight was positively mouth water.

He sped her up as he reached down to kiss the exposed skin peaking out of her bra. Her moans and whines filled the hotel room. Their neighbours could most definitely hear them, but neither of them cared.

He finally tipped her over the edge. Her breaths came out in short puffs as she fell against him, cunt clenching around him.

Fernando kept her moving, but his bounces were much gentle. "Almost there," he whispered and kissed her tenderly.

Before too long he was spilling inside of her. Even if he wanted to pull out, she wouldn't have let him, addicted to the feeling of Fernando inside of her.

He was done, but she was still sitting on him. Unwilling to move. Her eyes were falling closed and she let out a satisfied hum. "Thank you, Nando," she whispered as her fingers danced across his chest. "It's gorgeous."

"Not as gorgeous as you," he replied and kissed the top of her head.

a/n: when my requests reopen i'd love some for these two

#fernando alonso #fernando alonso imagine #fernando alonso x reader #fernando alonso fluff #fernando alonso smut #fernando alonso x reader smut #fernando alonso x you #fa14 #fa14 imagine #fa14 x reader #f1 #formula one #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 #formula one imagine #formula one x reader #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 imagine

[dizzygrizzlies]

sharing a head with nonhumans is so interesting.

i’ve never really cared about bats, to think about them more than distant admiration for what they do for the ecosystem. i don’t know much about them at all actually

we have twins in here who are young girls, beasts, & partially bats. it’s not befitting of them to call them littles when they’re more animal than child and denounce those sorts of labels. they’re so interesting… they are medical alters and especially love attending procedures but also just learning the ins and outs of surgery. most people might find that weird or grim or ‘bad’ but they keep our body calm and our heart rate low when we go in for surgeries. they’re very respectful about it so to speak but they’re just LOUD and EXCITED about it like little kids and overstimulated animals.

last night they were talking together for about an hour about laparoscopies and how they would want to probe ‘a body’ (a living, safe, healthy one, but with not really any thought toward the individual involved), and chittering about how excited they were seeing pictures of the inside of our abdomen, and how they want to eat lots of shredded beef and little birds.

and they could not sleep with the lights on like i usually do. it made them dizzy and disoriented. and they tossed and turned and said their skin crawled and that they couldn’t close their eyes tight enough. but in complete black with the windows open they wrapped themselves in a thin sheet, super taut around the back but a little loose around the arms, and swaddled themselves like that.

i heard bats chirp outside like i always do — but it was the first time i actually noticed it. they talked to themselves about how happy the sounds made them and briefly i felt as if bodily we were flitting about in the open air, darting after bugs. and our fingers felt sooo long, but the way our arms tucked around our body felt so correct.

it was just so weird and interesting.. i was only a passenger but i’ve never felt so viscerally like an animal that i’m just not

#txt #holothere #nonhuman alter #alterhuman #nonhuman #alterhumanity #surgery #ask me to tag #batkin #bat therian #bat kin #otherkin #therian #therianthropy #laparos #qualia

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

they need to invent a diet that's sustainable

#tw weight talk #betraying the extent of my fatassness here but 1400 calories is not cutting it #even with exercise to up the calorie limit #i'm just. so hungry. every day. #but i want to thin more than i want to eat #just.keep.going. #one day we aspire to be purple skinny diet calories

[mariemariemaria]

Does anybody else feel like mental health awareness has done very little to help them in material reality

#i was gonna say done nothing to help but that seemed too harsh #like there definitely is more knowledge about it now. maybe more people feel comfortable speaking about it which is good #but personally i don't feel that. like idk. workplaces will post about mental health awareness and then do nothing to help employees #the same w universities. my uni cut back the already meager mental health support #and then the government is doing absolutely fuck all as well #like idk im just back in a place i thought id gotten out of long ago and i still don't feel comfortable talking about it with people #maybe that's a me problem or maybe it's cultural or something idk. but in the 10 years ive been depressed (🫠) i don't think it's gotten a #whole lot better. teenagers are still dealing with the same shit i did and they're still not being taken seriously #women's mental health is not even spoken about.....anxiety depression sh eds etc are still ignored or seen as hysterical behaviour in women #or just normal esp with disordered eating. society hasn't changed people still want women to be stick thin and weak #like i know 10 years is a short time and there has been massive improvements in mh awareness if we look back over the past 50+ years #but idk i just think that it hasn't gotten better for a lot of people #i think specifically of belfast and like god. the amount of trauma there is the amount of homelessness the amount of substance abuse #drug abuse in particular that has gotten visibly worse over the past decade or so* #and i connect the dots n see the 2008 recession + a tory gov defunding the nhs + dehumanisation of homeless people & addicts + the troubles #+ ptsd + generational trauma + a negative peace + classism + paramilitary drug dealers + parties linked to those paramilitaries #and its like hmmmm i think we live in a society. and a mental health approach based on individual actions like journaling and meditation #isn't the way to go. or at least is not the be all and end all which is what a lot of mental health awareness raising seems to promote #*visibly worse on the streets. it was always a problem ofc but even a decade ago my parents never imagined it would be as bad as it is now #and it's become so normalised. i do think there's less individualism here than there seems to be elsewhere which can be good and can be bad #but i think we are becoming more and more individualistic. slowly. there's still a sense of community here but i do think it's changing #and callousness towards homeless people is one of the most obvious examples of this. #love when i put a wee asterisk in the tags of a post. like i have A Lot To Say lol

[femboty2k]

man I'm so sick of this shit just be nice to fat women (especially trans ones!) or kill yourself idc

#if I read the words 'healthily round' or 'the hot kind of fat' one more time #im gonna figure out how to send ballistic missiles with my mind #sick of you fucks #fat women are better than you not sorry <3 #like #I want to exercise and eat better but I dont CARE about losing weight #I could stay right at the 380lbs I'm at and be FINE #I'm just so sick of this fucking asterisk that people need to be attached to fat people's lives #'oh no its okay she actually works out a lot and doesnt eat sweets or anything like that' #who GIVES a FUCK #why do YOU give a fuck???? #THATS A WHOLE NOTHER PERSON YOU FUCKWIT #just leave people fucking be #I have soooooo so so so so soooo many problems with social shit about my weight #and they all shake terrible hands with my transness #im sick of it #im sick of these little requirements being needed to be seen as a person let alone a woman #fuck you if you've ever said anything like what I've talked about here #change or die #I 1000000% do not trust thin people to talk about anything constructive when it comes to the treatment and depiction of fat people #im tired #and im mad #im gonna be a bitch about it #leave if you want #fuck

[qoldwater]

I always forget how people back in the olde days used to just die so easily from the flu, until I get the flu myself dhhdhdhf because on one hand I know our medicine is just soo much better now a days but on the other hand I have the immune system of a dead man and once I get sick I'm like the ye olde victorian child on a death bed dhdhdhhd it's been 4 days and I just NOW can get on my phone to watch videos and text, and eat and drink water, and coherently string words together and do more than just lay in bed and moan in pain, and sweat and cough in sick delirium 😭

#im being so deadass #i only slept once between just staring at whatever i was hallucinating on the ceiling and that was last night #and i dreamt that i was eating glass #i know its because ive hurt my stomach and ribs from so much coughing because i can barely talk #at least in my dream i was picky about the glass i was eating LMAOOO i was like NO I WANT THE BUBBLE AMBER DRINKING GLASS NOM NOM #and raided a flea market just to find it and eat it #i dont fucking know #i finally ate some chicken noodle soup and apple sauce too and ive finally had some wonderful and amazing water #i swear i never enjoyed it more in my LIFE #i hate being sick because i get so sick so easily and soo soo so bad #fucking rough man #i had no idea it was Saturday until i just checked #fucking was Tuesday last I remembered god damnit #also its really scary looking in the mirror because I dont look well or look like myself right now #body image warning #but my face looks so hallow and dark and scratched up because apparently I either was scratching in my sleep or something happened #and I'm soo much thinner than the last time I looked in a mirror and got out of bed like 4 days ago #my beard is big and shaggy and i need to shave but i really really don't look good and its hard to do any self care #when you go from looking healthy and glowy to pale and dark and thin in just a couple days #like fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that #im caught in a state of #this isn't reality #which i know isnt safe or good but ill be okay because i know im just in shock and that i cant push myself through it #especially in this weakened state #i just need to take it slow and steady #drink my water stay in my blanket and eat what i can and take my meds and thank FUCK I came through the fog and rest

[aftermathing]

The worst thing about suffering is that it still hurts when the danger is over but no one cares about it anymore because it shouldn't hurt. No one will ever say "I'm sorry that happened to you" especially when they barely say "I'm sorry that's happening."

#Okay to tb btw all the personal stuff is in the tags #Like. Not eating for a week because you couldn't get groceries hurts #and people will say 'oof sorry that's happening' but then #after you're able to get food no one will ever say 'I'm sorry that happened' even though you think about it and hurt from it constantly. #No one will ever say ':( that must have been so hard' because you're fine now right???? No psychological damage there????? #This example is stupid but I do think about it every time I feel hungry. I told people I wasn't able to get groceries #and there was no food in my house. And they said. Oof. #Instead of idk Oh God Are You Okay ?? #No one cares when you've been abused your entire life and behave the way you do out of genuine terror because your brain is fucked forever #They don't say 'I'm sorry that happened it must have been really scary to turn you into Such An Asshole. I pity you like a dog :(' #Speaking of man everyone loves fucked up abused terrified dogs and wants to be the one who makes them open up #And shows them that people can be good and kind and that touch doesn't have to hurt #But everyone is scared of fucked up abused terrified people #Humans are capable of harm even more than dogs and fear is understandable but. #Can you please call me good boy and shush me and tell me nothing's going to hurt me and let me curl up on your lap #And not hit me if I get scared and start to growl and feed me good and take me on walks and play with me #Even though I'm not very fun to play with and I'm still learning what's fun and what's mean and what's a toy and what's a hand #Plleeeaaase don't be jealous of a dog that doesn't eat good don't say 'tch he's so thin what am I doing wrong' #I want to eat good and grow and gain fat and be warm and be comfortable I don't want this #Don't say 'if abused dogs don't eat good then I don't deserve to either' no no no no eat good so you can take care of us both #Please please please I learned so many tricks to make people happy and call me smart but I don't actually know how to do anything I'm #Literally like such a stupid dog it takes me like one day of no one paying attention to me for me to become un-housebroken #I make a lot of mistakes even though I know better or I really should know better #And sometimes do things wrong on purpose to get attention either yelling or showing me how to do it right #But most of the time I genuinely don't know how to do stuff because I was never taught or I was taught and #My previous owners said 'this is how it is. It is this way because it is and it is forever. The answer is Because.' #'now quit asking repetitive questions before I pop you' #If I do something Because and not know the reason why I'm doing it that's not learning that's acting #Especially habits taught specifically to hurt me and not being allowed to question it or know why I'm being hurt #Oh my god I acted out so much when I was younger and all my friends were so disgusted and hurt by me and yelled at me every day

[monsterbisexual]

i hate how i feel doing or not doing certain stuff for/because of the pain + fatigue since im a fat person :///

#p #id feel double standard-y shame (my favvvvv) abt it anyway #but its like. i took the elevator up to the break room just now n it always feels like everyones watching me do it #n judging or smth. like ya im also not in shape n thats like my fault etc n that would help these things be easier too #like especially on days ive worked i dont wanna go w ppl walkin the dog cuz im in a lotta pain #n w all of this i feel like a lazy piece of shittt which. like i said..id never think abt anyone else #even another person who isnt thin #or in shape etc #anyway. on lunch break now when theres lots to do (we have more ppl now at least tho) #n i feel like im such a loser cuz i rly needed to sit+rest n eat #also for my brain cuz i get overwhelmed n weird anyway but. -___- i gotta get over itttt fuck offfffff #i feel enough dumb bad stuff abt not doing 'Enough' but adding this makes it feel worse bleh #im big into shame idk ! #working (sorta. its not rly working akdhdj) on not feeling negative n bad abt the word fat #i wouldnt randomly call someone that irl or anything #but i know ppl on here are wanting it to be more normalized n that its not an inherently bad thing/word #but. :((( #not another good word for it so yknow w/e #ok im gonna try to stop pity partying thru a break #especially when ill have less than an hourrrrr after this yay

[the-acid-pear]

Fun fact my vision to find things on the floor is beyond skilled it's supernatural this is because just like my lost gag reflex i trained it by compulsively nail eating.

#luly talks #when i drop a really good nail and i dont want it gone you know I'll be on my knees looking at the floor like 👁️👁️ #nails or plastic y'know how it is #a great fucking deal of sensory forethought goes into it btw its not just ANY there's some i like more than others #usually i like when there's a hard border and a soft smaller one #but sometimes i want to completely hard ones #and sometimes i want very soft ones #and the amount varies #and i NEVER want the very thin worn ones i HATE those... but i eat em too 😒 i dont discriminate

[yume-fanfare]

the sandwich post just has me wondering what kind of bread u guys eat

#i have bread opinions #because see. um. #here the word 'sandwich' is only used to describe the ones that r made with sliced bread #like → 🥪 this one i guess? #the ones made with . more baguette-like bread are called 'bocadillos' n they're like. idk the Good and filling ones #the ones in pokemon scarlet and violet are Bocadillos #like that game mechanic is so real its existence fills me with joy #so like that kind of bread is usually good by itself it's not dry even if you don't add oil or butter or anything to it #unless it's like. whole wheat bread. that one is often dry there are few that aren't #but then again im not exactly talking about baguette bread . #at least the one that's sold as specifically baguette here and the french one that i remember is. a bit too thin to add filing to it? #and here it goes stale within like a DAY #of course bread is best eaten fresh but it's nicer if it lasts just a little bit longer..... #i get that lasting longer is kinda the appeal of sandwich bread #and also the fact that it's pre-sliced but it's not the kind you eat when you want Good bread #(i live in humidity land) #anyways. where was i going with this. #ah right yeah the bread here is usually at least a little wider than traditional french baguettes (?) #but in the end the technique and outcome of the crust and such depends on the bakery and #yeah i don't know what else i wanted to say mitsuru moment over #i love bread #mar's midnight rambles #additional disclaimer i actually still don't know how to make sandwiches in pokemon violet

[tnettnba]

I am clothed. I am housed. I have food. And from here, I can hear my car snoring peacefully. I am here. I am alive. I am loved. I am ok.

#daily affirmations #having a ROUGH One folks #started sobbing about living in the state i do #every day i remember how my uterus is more regulated than fire arms #i cant stand living in a red state that would see me die before a clump of cells #i am so trapped by poverty #i want to leave but it feels impossible #gentrification for old white people rocks #also cant get medical help for any of my problems at all #massively suffering but the only good doctors in this state started leaving in droves #thanks to things like roe v wade over turning and anti trans laws #now they're trying to make abortion trafficking a crime here too #god i fucking hate it here #im so scared #my partner and i are both bisexual #we've suffered at the hands of our local community for so long #anyways trying to calm down and self regulate #maybe ill actually manage to eat something #learned about a new ed called arfid #thought that might be it for me but im not skeleton thin like other people who do have it #so maybe not #but #trigger warning #isnt it fucked up that doing that research just made me think 'i wish my ed would make me thin at least like everyone else' #'i eat nothing and stay the same #if im gonna suffer why cant i at least feel pretty #but every single one of those thoughts #in and of itself #ARE INSANE #are you kidding???

[tinytrashkid]

sometimes, i wanna be a bright little star that happens to walk the earth. other times, i want to be so dark and mysterious that it’s scary.

#there really isn’t a between #i at least want to be thin again #tinytrashkid #and small! #i also want to get better food habits and exercise more #but i’m afraid i’m to end up more terrified of food than i already am #i don’t really like the process of eating unless i’m high #i don’t like having food that’s too hot #nor do i like eating anything out of my comfort zone #i think i’ve always had arfid but i just didn’t realize it until now

[lokigodofaces]

i love candy corn. i love it. and i am missing out on prime candy corn eating time because i had 4 stupid teeth that decided to cause problems.

#yeah...so...at first my recovery was fine...but since sunday it has been Not Fine #i had to actually use the painkillers sat-mon for starters. & my family has been getting stomach bugs since the day i got mine out & i thin #i have it now in addition to the wisdom teeth pain. but part of me is terrified that my gums got infected despite all the antibiotics i was #prescribed. thankfully i have a follow up appt on mon but i'm paying attention. i have a fever apparently. the problem is that i will be #doing great for an hour & then feel terrible the next hour. i went to work today feeling okay & then i wasnt. & i made it through my shift #bc i work through my pain more than i should but yeah it wasnt fun. i've been miserable all day. my back also is sore & in merchandising yo #kinda need your back. & no one knew how to drive on the way home from work so that was scary. i needed to pick my sister up so that my mom #could do something & my sister (3) wasnt having it so i was trying to go to sonic to get her ice cream & me a milk shake but google does #not know how to give me directions (lately it's directions have sucked) so i come home crying but trying not to let my sister know then i #didnt want my mom to know later despite my mom literally having a mini breakdown yesterday too like she gets it. she found out anyway bc i #was watching princess bride which i normally dont do unless im miserable #& on top of all of that i cant eat candy corn :( #if our wisdom teeth could just not exist or if our mouths could be big enough for them that wouldve been nice #liv won't shut up

[sunset-unbound]

man i have a weird fucking relationship with my body. its like i dont have enough to be a man, but im still plagued with the downsides. you can see some of my ribs, i am visibly weak. i cannot perform masculinity but i am left with undeniably masculine features.

#its like my body is mocking my queerness #a thin waist. desirable on a woman– meant to be held by someone more masculine. bigger. stronger #a beard that won't stop growing faster than i have the energy to shave #i feel disproportionate. a head too big for my torso. arms too thin #no matter how much i eat my body doesn't change. i dont want to work out because of the gendered ordeal of it #sun.txt