#but i managed to do it and i gotta say. im kinda proud of this :)

[meatbricks]

Could I perhaps have a fic request (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

Painter stalking dear reader, solo. Sneaking through a window while reader sleeps, touching them and himself. (You can throw the Brute boy in there too if you'd like ♥️♥️♥️)

HELLOOO ANON!! yes, you may have a fic request!! <3

warning(s): nsft, non-con, groping, somnophilia, mentioned canon-typical violence, imminent kidnapping, uhhhh. bruteforce doing absolutely nothing but still being there for some reason

fic is under the cut!!

This time, it was just him and you.

His accomplice chose to stay outside, keeping watch for anyone who might walk by. At least, that's what he said he'd do. It was mildly disappointing to him; after all, he'd have loved to see what his partner in crime could come up with in terms of things to do to you, but that would wait for another time. Another time, that he was certain would come. His certainty came from a place of familiarity, familiarity with what was to happen that night. He would climb through the window and finally get a taste of what you had to offer him, what you had that he could make his own in that special way he always did. Once you woke up, the man waiting outside would enter and apprehend you.

Tonight was the night that you were to be taken.

As he finally landed on the soft, carpeted floor of your bedroom, his attention was instantaneously drawn to your peaceful, sleeping form. You lay so serenely, the room so quiet that he could just barely hear your quiet breathing. He wondered what you dreamed about as he slowly approached you, wondered if you knew what was to happen. Of course you didn't, he reckoned; if you did, you'd have at least locked your windows. Or would you have? Perhaps you knew and you wanted this, wanted to be snatched up and taken away by someone like him... the thought made his heart skip a beat. If that were the case, it would make things so much more interesting. As he reached your bedside, he could feel his knees begin to weaken and his hands begin to shake. He was right there. Right next to you, in position to do whatever he wanted to you... but he hesitated. He wanted to savor this moment. This night, on which he'd finally touch you. On which he'd finally make his presence known to you, his presence that you would suffer magnificently through for the short remainder of your wonderful little life. You would know him, the man gazing lustfully down at your unconscious body.

For the very first time, you'd come face-to-face with the last man you'll ever see.

That thought broke him out of his enamored trance. Shakily, he moved his hand up to the top of your blanket, carefully moving it aside as to not wake you. He figured that the fabric's removal wouldn't cause you to stir; it was already a warm night as it was (in Louisiana, no less!), and so he pulled it back and gazed upon, to his delight, your scantily-clad form. After placing the fabric down, he took a moment to simply look. He'd already spent long enough pondering how soundly you slept, but he'd never seen you like this before. So much of your bare skin, exposed to the world, exposed to him... he couldn't help but reach out and brush his hand against your stomach. So smooth... so soft. He imagined how easy it would be to cut through the flesh, how satisfying it would feel to pull it back and expose the tender, red meat inside, the noises you would make, how you would squirm and plead for your life... He found himself breathing even harder at the idea, his loins growing hotter by the second as endless possibilities regarding your horrific torture flashed in his mind. Just touching you here wasn't enough. He couldn't help himself anymore.

His hand traveled lower down, until it settled past the waistband of your underwear, right between your legs. Gently, he rubbed you, feeling you heat up under his touch just as he had from the thought of brutalizing you. It made him smile. No matter the circumstances, the human body was always receptive to this manner of touch. The mind could cry, scream, beg, threaten, anything it so desired, and yet the body would always respond the same. It fascinated him. It excited him. He couldn't wait to see what other things he could make your body do akin to this, how far he could push this automatic response. What, if anything, would stop it from happening? Were there any circumstances dire enough that the body would fail to deliver in such a way? He was eager to find out. He was eager to see what you looked like there, without any of your clothes, legs spread wide and completely exposed. As he continued to masturbate you, and your body urged him on, he couldn't help but slip his other hand down his own pants.

He couldn't get hard. At least, not very easily. He knew that. Despite it, however, he could feel his sex ache to be touched, to be rubbed like yours was. He gladly obliged it, taking it into his hand and sliding his foreskin back and forth as he watched his other hand molest you. He imagined what it would be like to rub himself on you, your crotch on his, responding to each other's touch in the same way you both responded to that of his hands... he imagined making you cum, just from that; he imagined cumming on you, both of you becoming sticky with evidence of what you'd done. That delectable stickiness was something he was far too familiar with, a high that he chased quite often. The feeling of being covered, stained with the fluids of both himself and another, unable to hide what had been done to him, what he'd done himself, how he'd enjoyed every second of it... to him, there truly was nothing like it. No other experience could ever compare to that post-coital afterglow, and he wanted desperately to share such a thing with you. He could see it like a film in his mind, its reel playing out your final moments: bleeding out, horribly maimed, with him in between your legs, rubbing up on you and ensuring that the last moments you spent on this earth were pleasurable. Involuntarily, instinctively, your hips thrusted upwards, pressing yourself into him as he bid you the fondest of farewells.

Both in his mind and in the waking world simultaneously, he climaxed.

The high only lasted for a few moments, but those few moments were utterly blissful. His fantasy of you collapsed underneath him, cold and lifeless at long last; and as he came down from his high, he decided that finishing you could come later that night, once he'd gotten you home.

As he took his hand away, you began to stir.

The first thing you saw upon regaining your vision was a strange man motioning at something outside your bedroom window to come inside.

#this is the answer (ooc) #this is the answer #this is the writing #this is the fanfic #x reader #🖌 #🪓 #this is the nsft #urbanspook #the painter urbanspook #urbanspook analog horror #it took me a while to figure out how to write this without having to do the third-person ''y/n'' thing or use specific pronouns #since i like to keep the readers name/pronouns/gender vague #and i know i could just use ''they'' but like. not everyone feels comfortable with being referred to by they/them #so yknow #but i managed to do it and i gotta say. im kinda proud of this :)

[alexiskk]

Hiiii tlou anon here!! Your works are sooo good and since u asked for Tlou suggestions, I was wondering if you could do a fic where Tommy and Ellie are talking and Tommy reveals that Joel’s ticklish. Which leads to Ellie trying it out of course, and Joel getting revenge on the both of them for messing with him! I look forward to seeing what you’ll write and I’ll probably end up giving you more suggestions in the future. :) -tlou anon

hi anon! this is such a good suggestion, im so glad tlou has brought me back in the mood to write, definitely send more if you have em! Also I backed off on lee!tommy a bit but I hope u still enjoy🫶

word count: uhhh kinda long

❗️tw: shoot/killing a deer, slight mention of blood

also all Joel and Ellie pairings in any of my fics are in a parental/child relationship anything else is gross so pls don’t think I ever mean to cross that boundary. ok thx

Not so Funny Now

Thud

“Damnn El” Tommy blew out an impressed sigh as he looked over in proud amazement at the girl posted with her barrel rested on the tree trunk beside him.

“I guess my brother is good for something, he taught you howda’ shoot like a bat outta hell”

Ellie smirked as she stood up and rested the rifle on her shoulder, almost knocking herself over in the process, but she seemed to play it off successfully. They were both watching the deer Ellie had shot about 20 yards in front of them struggle to regain it’s footing, after all, she had shot it square in it’s neck, so it was only a matter of time before it was down for the count. Lucky for them, the deer only managed to make it a few more yards before not so gracefully plumping back into the snow.

Ellie had found some of her time in Jackson to be restless, as she hadn’t quite found anyone her age that she clicked with quite yet. Tommy especially picked up on this restless energy due to numerous nights of listening to Joel’s complaints about “Too many godamn questions”. So, Tommy thought inviting her on some of the hunting trips would help her blow off some steam, and more importantly, tire her out. Although, he was especially fond of days like today, where the rest of the crew was too busy off with the cattle and stable duties, so he and Ellie had the day left to themselves.

The pair had made their way over to the deer as Tommy began sizing up their catch.

“A buck Ellie not too shabby” He gestured to the pedicles on top of the deer’s head.

“Hey, what can I say, I’m a natural” Ellie had a sarcastic tone as she awkwardly threw up one of her hands while the other stayed securely on the rifle. It was only her 6th or 7th trip out here but she learned to pull her weight, although she couldn’t help but hide a smug smile as she realized this was the biggest deer she’d ever shot.

“No seriously, you gotta great shot kid”

“Awh quit fawnin’ over me Tommy” Ellie held her breath as Tommy paused and slowly looked up at her, to her surprise, he bursted out a chuckled laugh in response to her pun before even she could. He shook his head and looked back to the buck.

“You duhumass help me pull”

Ellie let some of her own laughter escape as she walked towards and placed her hand around an antler while Tommy grabbed the other. They both began dragging it through the snow, leaving a trail of dirt and blood behind them.

“Hey you know what a deers favorite bread is right?” Ellie had her eyes down at the snow in front of her, slightly out of breath from the trek they were making back to the horses.

Tommy smiled as he continued to entertain her gimmicks “Now what might that be?”

“Dude, it’s Sour doe, duh”

While less caught off guard, Tommy still found himself breathing out a few chuckles in response to the teenager’s terrible puns. Ellie of course had a huge grin plastered across her face, this wasn’t the audience she was typically used to.

“What, so you’ve got these memorized?”

“Nah these are my own, but I have plenty memorized from the book if that’s what your looking for.”

The pair dropped the buck as they had finally made it back to their horses. Tommy began preparing one of the horses to carry the load from the day.

“Ah is this that famous joke book i’ve heard so much about?”

“Whatt Joel mentioned the book to you?” Ellie still slightly out of breath looked up from the snow. She knew Joel cared about her, but there were very few days he actually enjoyed the joke book coming out of her pack.

“Just a few times” Tommy smiled with his back to Ellie. He was extremely caught off guard a few weeks ago when Joel had repeated one of the jokes Ellie had told him earlier in the day, he didn’t think he knew how to joke like that anymore.

“Did he also mention he fucking hates joy because I can barely get him to crack with it”

“What he wouldn’t laugh?”

“Barely”

“Yeahh that sounds like my brother”

Tommy gesture for Ellie to help him in loading the buck up onto the horse. They struggled getting it off the ground due to its size, but finally got it up and secured it before they both hopped on to the other horse they brought with them. Tommy gave Ellie the reins of the other horse to lead from the seat behind him and they began their trek back into town.

“ Was he always like that? ya know, all ‘ugh im joel, im tough and grumpy and i hate laughter’” Ellie had he arms flexed inward as she lowered her voice to imitate Joel.

“U-Uh he’s kinda been that way since i can remember kid, although Sarah was one to remind me of how ticklish the bastard is”

Tommy didn’t seem to bat an eye at the statement he just uttered, while Ellie sat in shock behind him.

“W-what did you say?” an astonished grin stayed on her face, this was the best yet most unexpected piece of news she could have asked for. If that asshole won’t laugh at her jokes, she’d just have to find other ways to make him laugh.

“Huh? Oh yeah Joel’s terrible, if he wasn’t so goddamn strong i’d torture em’ everyday just to see the old fucker squirm.” Tommy chuckled as memories of him and his older brother during childhood flooded in n out of his memory.

He then turned around to see a plotting expression on Ellie’s face.

“Hey if your thinkin what I think your thinkin, leave me out of it, heaven forbid he found out I told you”

“Hmm fair enough” Ellie replied and seemed to let it go as her and Tommy mostly sat in silence for the rest of the ride back, but despite his warnings, she couldn’t help but imagine his older brother in stitches, and strength be dammed she was eager to make the old man laugh, any way she could.

With a week an a half gone by, Ellie had practically forgotten her whole plans to make Joel laugh. Between hunting trips, chores around the stables, and helping out Maria, there was no real time for her to even think about it. But, it happen to be a rare lazy Sunday for both her and Joel, with neither of the having duties to attend to today. Although in the Miller house, there was no such thing as a “lazy day”, as Joel found himself up underneath the kitchen sink while Ellie, of course, found herself perpetually bothering him.

“So what is it your trying to do?”

Joel sighed, “ For the 4th time kid, the pipe is leakin’ and I can’t figure out why it ain’t workin’ when I fixed this shit 2 weeks ago.” Joel let out a frustrated grunt as he attempted to turn a wrench on the pipe letting out a perpetual drip every few seconds. Although the frustration in his voice was mostly from annoyance from Ellie’s constant pestering.

“I thought contractors were supposed to be good at this kinda stuff.” Ellie stood with her arms crossed, onlooking Joel as he had himself wedged up with most of his upper body underneath the sink and head lamp on to light his view of the pipe.

Joel sighed once again. “This is plumbing, not contractor stuff”

“Oh, so you just suck at plumbing?”

“Would you just—just go find something else to do” Joel didn’t even break eye contact with the pipe, he was just done with Ellie’s constant nagging, especially on what was supposed to be his day off.

Ellie rocked back and forth on her heels.

“Alright, but just remember you asked for this” she rushed over to her backpack that laid on the couch to pull out a beaten up copy of No Pun Intended: Volume Too. She then rapidly flipped the pages as she walked back into the kitchen to join Joel once again.

“Hey Joel, why shouldn’t you trust stairs?”

Joel muttered under his breath “Here we fucking go again”

Ellie didn’t dare wait for a proper response.

“Because their always, up to something!” Ellies over exaggerated response to the joke left her with a huge grin on her face, but she was getting nothing from Joel except grunts from his fight with the kitchen sink, so her attempts must continue.

“Ok ok, you’ll like this one. I used to hate facial hair. But thennnnnn it grew on me!” She once again ended in her iconic cheeky grin, but Joel was already exhausted of her none sense two jokes in.

“Ellie, this is actually worse than torture, just-please go make yourself busy elsewhere” His half joking half absolutely serious tone seemed to discourage Ellie’s spirit a bit, but something clicked in her as he spoke, and that devious plotting expression returned to her face.

Ellie, being the spitfire that she is, took no consideration into what the consequences of her actions would be, but as she inched closer and closer to Joel, the only thoughts in her head was how much fun she was about to have.

“Geez talk about torture Joel, i think you might onto something”

She had finally positioned her self right next to Joel’s body underneath the sink and that’s when she attacked.

“Ellie what the hell are yoUOHC-”

She dove her hands around the thighs of the man wedged up underneath the sink. She could barely get a good grip with his thick work jeans getting in the way, but she managed her best to squeeze right above both of his kneecaps as hard as she could. Joel caught his words and incoming laughter in his mouth and managed to swallow them all, leaving only awkward grunts to escape him. His legs began to twitch, trying to fight off the teen with her hands wrenched around his legs. He began to attempt to scoot out from underneath the sink to properly defend himself when Ellie decide to switch her tactics.

“You lihitle sHiHIHIT DOHONT-”

Panicking after seeing Joel’s initial response, Ellie dove her hands into his sides and she soon began to smile. With his head in close proximity to the pipe, Joel couldn’t risk any aggressive moves escaping from underneath the sink, but luckily for Ellie this also meant he could escape the onslaught of tickles she was dealing him at the moment. Ellie’s smile only grew as she now realized just how ticklish Joel was, watching as his stiffened grunted outbursts began to turn into actual resentful laughter under her touch. He even attempted to push Ellie away with what little strength he had at this point, but Ellie was quite quick, repositioning herself up and around the man to never get caught. From what Tommy had told her, she knew there was no one way she could give Joel a break without him retaliating, so she had her hands digging into the old man at super sonic speed, probably only worsening the experience for Joel himself.

“You motherfucker why don’t you laugh at my jokes like this?”

“Y-YoHoUH ASAHASS”

“That’s nhot an answer Joel!”

Joel could simply not handle the torment from Ellie. Being pinned as well as completely caught off guard caused the man to begin to succumb to the electrified touch of Ellie, each poke and kneed into the man’s sides causing a wheezing laugh that would occasionally break out into genuine giggles when he couldn’t tough it out any longer.

Ellie found herself giggling along side him, she had never seen Joel quiet this joyful, and there was no way in hell she’d ever let him forget this.

Joel in his fight against his sensitivity took a calculated swipe at Ellie, in a panicked response she threw her hands underneath the man’s arms to which his body responded with jerks and jolts as he-

Dung

“Oho shihitttt”

Ellie’s smile slowly faded as put an abrupt stop to her torture and scooted a few feet back on the floor as the man underneath the sink was now completely vertical and rubbing the side of his head with his hand after obliterating it into the pipe he was working on, which unfortunately, was still dripping in a rhythm. They both sat in a tense silence. Ellie unaware how badly she might have hurt Joel, didn’t know how to comfort or even help him at this point.

After what felt like years, Joel began to slowly pull himself up and out from underneath the sink, scoffing or grunting with pain with each heavy movement until finally slumping his upper body up against the lower cabinets. With his hand burying his face, even though Ellie was facing him their was no way to tell just how hurt, or more importantly for Ellie, just how angry he was. The pair sat facing each other on the kitchen floor, continuing their tense silence until Ellie just couldn’t take it any longer.

“Hey, Joel i-i’m real sorry I didn-”

“Could y-you j-just grab some ice” Joel cut her off more gruffly than usual, but he didn’t look up or move his hand.

“Y-yeah of course ” Ellie had a doe-like expression on her face as she scurried to her feet and grabbed a pack of ice from the freezer. She feared she may have pushed too far.

She knelt down next to him and he gestured for her to place it against the right side of his head and she obliged. Ellie watch as Joel went to take it from her hand when all of a sudden, he jerked to grab her wrist instead.

“hEYA-UH!”

Im what seemed like miliseconds, Joel whipped the teen by her wrist around him, grabbing her other arm and whipping himself around in order to place her firmly up against the cabinets where he once sat. He then grabbed her upper biceps as if he was to hold her in place there.

“ WHAt the fuck Joel I thought you were fucking hurt!” Ellie’s genuinely shocked and angry tone was followed by kicking and attempts at squirming away but Tommy was unfortunately right, that asshole is way too strong.

“What the hell do you think your doing-g-gettin’ on me like that?” Joels tone was stern but he seemed to stumble over his words a bit, almost as if he was a bit embarrassed over his vulnerability with Ellie just minutes prior.

Ellie still frustratedly trying to shake Joel’s hands off her to no avail replied.

“Well you’re such a grump how the hell else am I supposed to get you to- i dunno have fucking joy?” After she finished her sentence she slowly brought her struggles to a stop and look up with that memorable cheeky grin.

“You gotta admitttttt it was prehettty fuhunny Johoel ” She sillily shook her shoulders back and forth as she giggled at the recent memories of Joel in stitches underneath the sink.

For some reason, it never registered in Ellie’s silly little brain that Joel would try to get her back somehow. The pair didn’t have much of a history of physical touch in their relationship so Ellie was half expecting a lecture on how just how unsafe what she just did was. After all, other than that one incident in the bunks with Riley, she couldn’t even remember the last time she was tickled.

At this point in time however, Joel’s embarrassment was currently being used for fueling his rage towards the rascal he was holding up against the cabinets, and a disapproving frown began to slip at the edges as Joel developed his own plotting expression. Ellie watched him, still giggling but an inherent sense of panic began flooding her senses, for she knew nothing good could come of this look.

Joel sighed and shook his head.

“Yeahh kid maybe it was, but not nearly as funny as this is about to be.”

Joel let go of his grip on Ellie’s arms to dig his hands into her stomach, to which she responded with a flurry of giggles pouring out of her mouth.

“jOHOHEHEHEL”.

Ellie doubled over as Joel’s hands kneeded at her stomach and sides, there was little strength in her to push the oaf’s hands away and even if their was, Joel had no plans of stopping anytime soon.

“OkOKAHOKAAHAY NOHO ENOUGAHA YOUHU DIHIHICK”

There was constant routine of Sarah ending arguements or fights by leaping onto her father and tickling him until he gave in, it was one of the only things she could hold over his head. Joel obviously let her, he saw how happy it make her to see him loose his mind over her hands squeezing into his ribs. But in the Miller household, revenge is always in order, and just like Sarah giggling absurdly on the couch from Joel’s attacks, Ellie now found herself doing the same on the kitchen floor.

“ IHI CAHAHNAHT” She could barely get the words out in between the laughter as she was curling herself up into a ball on the floor. Joel’s hands were now squeezing at rapid speeds, all the way up to her armpits and all the way down to her hipbones. Ellie’s eyes where glued shut and snickers and snorts began escaping her as all her strength had run out.

“Nohot so funny now kid huh?” Joel’s grin was cheekier than ever, he loved to see Ellie this giggly, this was her childishness at 100%.

“IHIHI DIHE AHAHA JOEHEHAEL”

Ellie was almost wheezing at this point, Joel had began attacking her knees the same way she did him, where she felt each squeeze jolt throughout her-

Creakkkk-Slam

Tommy looked with wide eyes at the pair on the floor as shut the front door behind him. He had brought over beers for Boggle night at the Miller household when he saw the sight of a giggly Ellie still curled up in a ball as well as his brother, who had stopped his torture and was now giving his brother a stern look.

“You got somethin’ to say to me?” Joel asked his brother with a knowing look at Ellie and then back to him. He was also rubbing Ellies back at this point as she continued to sputter out a few stray giggles, but he had a slight inclination that Ellie didn’t just decide to attack him on her own terms.

Tommy gulped as he walked in slowly and placed the drinks on the table. He took a step back, never breaking eye contact with his brother.

“Uhh Nope”

In blur, Tommy bolted out of the kitchen and sprinted up the stairs. Joel red with anger immediately got to his feet and followed close after.

“GET BACK HERE ASSHOLE”

Ellie finally pulled herself up from the floor as she heard a thud, followed by muffled manly giggles from upstairs.

So much for a lazy Sunday.

#tickle #the last of us #tickle fic #tlou tickle #tlou #tlou tickling #lee!ellie #lee!joel #ler!joel #ler!ellie #hehe puns #father daughter bonding #tickling #tickle fluff #i hate grammar #some of this sucks sorry lol

[hikari-ni-naritai]

3 6 10 11 12 18 21 23 26 27 29 30 31 36 45 50 52 54 55 57 58 59 60 62 69 (nice) 74 76 86 87 90 95 97

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

man . theyre both kinda. painfully sweet. bubblegum i guess? i also like cotton candy tho its just hard to pick

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

i dotn know what like. most of these words mean. how are half of these related even. tomboy.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

man i fucked hard at dodgeball

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

these days shredded wheat

12. name of your favorite playlist?

the fuck is a playlist

18. ideal weather?

yknow, cloudy, warm, smells like its about to rain

21. obsession from childhood?

warriors cats babeyyyy. and bionicles

23. strange habits?

man i KNOW ive got some but i cant think what they are. i do this wrist flick manoeuver to crack it.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

if im actually out in the warm weather? take a nice walk maybe.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

yknow. i havent done it in ages but i really like doing jigsaw puzzles. maybe put some jazz on.

29. best way to bond with you?

i dunno honestly! i dont have an answer to this one. it takes a lot of time and effort i think.

30. places that you find sacred?

the woods. the woods the woods the woods you have no idea. the woods. its the woods.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

i would die if i tried to do either of those things

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

like...... charlie the unicorn i think.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

fantasy obv

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

god there was something that destroyed me but idr what it was. the hardest in recent memory was me trying to tell a REALLY really stupid joke that wont make sense to any of you. i did not manage to say it bc i was laughing too hard.

52. favorite font?

i absolutely do not have an opinion on this

54. what did you learn from your first job?

you know at mcdonalds in order to work the grill you have to be willing to put your arms under a hot piece of metal that drips boiling grease on you? thats what i learned.

55. favorite fairy tale?

what IS my favorite fairy tale....... we'll go with red riding hood bc her modern interpretations are always the cutest

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

damn what. uhh ok, having to rebuild my entire social life after the shit that happened a couple years ago, the several year process of going from hyperconservative christian to a . whatever the hell i am now. some kind of far left girl. and uhhhh. figuring out i was trans i guess? idk

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

four??? im good at ff14 raiding, im good at writing, im good at.... uhh... im pretty funny i think, annnddddd uhhh. i dont know that its a talent, but i like to think im good at making people feel safe talking to me.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

heh... guess i shotcha... uhh 'god im fucking tired'

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

ISEKAI OBVIOUSLY specifically something like slime 300 but ill take almost any of them.

62. seven characters you relate to?

SEVEN............ god.... uhh hanako ikezawa, hikari finalfantasy (im cheating), (god i got to ONE and already had to start cheating...) yumiella dolkness, man im tappin out. look at my list of ocs i put way more of myself into them than there could ever be in any other character

69 nice. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

i feel like i know how i know most of my fun facts bc if i didnt i would not really know if i could believe them or not.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

like 8 or 9 probably. i dont really go below a 5 so. its gotta be like migraine or vertebral artery dissection bad before im like 'i should really get some meds'. unless im doing it preemptively which ive done for like when ive got raid later.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

man fuckin SCALLOPED POTATOES BABEY

86. cookies or cupcakes?

the amount of qualifiers this question needs.... cupcakes tho probably.

87. your greatest fear?

dying.

90. luckiest mistake?

i mean most of my mistakes havent been lucky, the best i can think of is when i accidentally followed my girl @handinvampirichand and now we're mutuals with wildly different taste in things but we're cool.

95. favorite app on your phone?

i like tumblr

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

uhh mine, my moms, my moms house, my brother's, my dads. jg wentworth 877 CASH NOW. so thats 6

[trickstarbrave]

So, I'm sick and stuck in bed for the day, and bored. And I was thinking :

About Steren, or more specifically Steren's-Dad-Nerevar. He was a trans man, that's how he and Voryn managed to have a child. And in the first story of Steren in Vivienne's au you posted, Azura says that Nerevar and Voryn's soul from Steren's world wish to join and like, merge with the Neht and Ryn from this world, right ? That's how they get memories.

SO, if it is the same in the au you're currently writing, I cant help but picture Nerevar having meltdowns and crying and wanting his son back. And then just as randomly, as he undresses before going to sleep, he's just. "Wow I love my body. Wait, what...?" Because inside him there's a remnant of that other version of him who is crying for Steren too, but also sometimes just gets "Damn that's our body ?! FUCK YEAH it's all I ever dreamt of! How did you get it-you were BORN with it ?! You lucky bastard !"

the way i see trans people in dunmer culture (and this is like. entirely headcanon you could argue against it) is that trans people are seen as religiously and culturally important. boethiah and mephala don't have set genders and can present as male or female or any other weird combination and really play around with sex and gender as concepts. there is also a heavy focus on life being a trial to overcome and being trans does introduce a lot of difficulties in life like dysphoria and having to use magic to present how you want to, as well as i think some degree of social policing (we do know there is sexism in dunmer society to a degree. along with that one telvanni mage who is so anti-misogyny she just became a full blown misandrist who thinks its hilarious the 'beloved masculine hero nerevar is a woman')

so steren's-dad-nerevar is actually quite proud of being trans. having to realize it, flesh sculpting to get the body he wanted, "proving" himself to be a man. he's just mad those parts of him got lost to history in the historical revisionism the tribunal pumped out en mass.

also steren's-dad-nerevar never really had much bottom dysphoria--i never really write trans nerevar having it. i know its a common experience and completely valid for a lot of people to experience but i personally didn't have it much so im just writing what i know in that sense. i've actually also thought about how he'd feel being in vivi-au-nerevar's body and i think while its normally fine he sometimes does just. get kinda surprised like "OH. i have a penis. right." he's pretty alright with it all things considered but i think sometimes the steren's-dad-nerevar parts come out more strongly than usual kinda missing the cool top surgery scars he had and having a vagina at times (though he doesn't miss. anything to do with menstruation in the slightest. LMAOOOO)

i think it's ultimately for the best nerevar have a dick in this universe though. or else steren would have. a LOT of siblings by now. it spares me from having to make 500 fucking ocs.

its different for him i'll say that. sometimes he really likes being in a basically "cisgender" body but sometimes he kinda misses the body he worked for and cultivated himself. which has gotta be a weird experience for vivi's nerevar who is mostly cis i think just randomly being hit with thoughts of "i kinda miss my old trans body". 4D chess of gender feelings

#steren nerevarine #vivi au #nerevar #i barely slept again sorry if i am a rambling mess not making sense :'D

[sickness-health-all-that-shit]

hello! i was watching ian and mickey scenes through *the* youtube channel, i'm not too deep into the lore of the fandom but! i read that noel wanted to be paid more for his role which is why they wrote him off on s6 etc. reading some comments through clips from the other seasons he is not in i saw that the ''reasons'' as of why ian seems not to care of him was because of his medication and pretending to keep himself steady but with s7 it went down after seeing him again + monica's death (and that's also why he's maniac again :0) thankfully right after they're back together which makes my serotonin skyrocket! i mostly read fics that are a sort of fix it or with mickey coming back right after monica dying etc. i didn't know about these infos before so i thought it was kind of fanon that ian goes maniac because of that and that he never said ''i love you'' to anyone but mickey. i wanted to ask you what is your take on ian's feelings when mickey wasn't around? gotta say that it makes me feel way better knowing that despite their effort to remove mickey from the series they managed to make it was all about him/leading back to them together! i hope i didn't disturb you with this ask but im having feelings!!! eheh

hi there! totally valid to have ✨feelings✨ about this, especially when you first start diving into their history and relationship!! my own deep-dive under the cut:

I do believe Noel left bc of contract renegotiations, yes. and after that fans were not happy with (and were very vocal about) the show trying to 'replace' Mickey with other boyfriends for Ian and having Ian badmouth Mickey etc. anyway, if we're keeping this to in-universe explanations as to how Ian felt about Mickey during those seasons, my interpretation is this: at the start of s6, Ian was in a very, very bad place. we see that at some point he started taking his meds (despite his previous refusal to do so like during the breakup in 5x12) but he's very clearly going through depression at that stage. let's keep in mind that at the time he was dealing with accepting his diagnosis, something he struggled a lot with both bc of the comparisons with Monica and bc of how much he valued his independence, so acknowledging the need for outside help and someone to care for him when he's not feeling well is particularly hard for him. he also just came out of a long period of being unmedicated--I've seen people suggest symptoms first started manifesting at the end of s3, and might've influenced his decision to go off to the army with everything that that brought as a consequence and all the choices he made as a result of that.. his life had changed dramatically in that period (he dropped out of school, left his home and his siblings, worked in nightclubs as a minor and of course he went through all that traumatic stuff with Mickey from 3x06 onward) so at the beginning of s6 he makes the decision to basically just put all of that behind him. Ian has a tendency to compartmentalize, which means he took all the bad things that had happened to him up until his diagnosis (and everything that reminded him of that, ie Mickey) and tried to forget about them, so that he could move on in some way. of course at this point Mickey was in prison and expected to remain there for the next 8 to 15 years, so that was another thing Ian made the decision to put out of his mind, bc it all hurt too much to deal with. so he made a new life for himself. which I'm very proud of him for! I love his journey to become an emt <3 dating-wise, choices were made. not necessarily by Ian though, by which I mean he kinda fell into those relationships, going through the motions because of how uncertain he was feeling at that time, and ending up dating people that should've maybe definitely had been fuck buddies at most. anyway, let's not dwell on that ajkds and let's get back to Mickey. the whole 'out of sight out of mind' thing obviously crashes and burns for Ian once Mickey shows up again, right there in front of him. that rush of deep-buried feelings must have been overwhelming. and yeah, I do agree that Ian's manic state through s8 was probably a result of the double hit of Monica's death and losing Mickey again--for all Ian knew, for good this time. and he absolutely never said I love you to anyone but Mickey, bc he's never loved anyone but him. they were it for each other from the start!! thank god the show finally got with the program at some point lol and gave us the happy ending they truly deserved ❤️

#answered #anons

[salamangreatsynchroshoukan]

Some of my general Libromancer headcanons 😳

Agent was/is part of an agency(?) but acts more like a private detective/worked solo before the other libros showed up and he was lowkey forced into being the leader. Who knows, maybe he had a previous partner that we'll know about in future support cards(im being hopeful with this...)

Agent and Magigirl are siblings!

Magigirl tries several times with several books to summon something and become a libromancer. When she's attacked by the monster shown in Libromancer First Appearence, she was actually trying to hunt it down but failed to summon something again 😔

Agent isn't an over protective brother. He's trained Magigirl under her request and while he's mad she got herself in danger, he's happy when she finally summons a fairy out of her book. He's also proud when she manages a full merge with her summon (Mystigirl!)

Geekboy is an otaku with all its letters, im talking him making fanart, doujins, fanfics, theories etc. for his favorite everything.

Geekboy does that think Deku does, you know, the super fast nearly unintelligible mumbling.

Geekboy has a BIG collection of Firestarter(the inuniverse comic character) merch! Official and unofficial. A bunch of it made by himself.

Geekboy refuses to let Fire call him by his real name, Fire complains that he [nsfw-ish] cant just moan the word geekboy when they're fucking cause it'd be weird so in that context is... probably fine.... probably.........

Fire is kinda whoreish. Ohh no my abs are showing ohhnooo my pecs are exposed oohhh nooooo. This is why Geekboy got him a sweatshirt instead of a button up shirt.

When they were buying regular clothes for Fire, he kept doing the stuff mentioned above.

Geekboy dressed Fire to his tastes, got himself the perfect boyfriend and dressed him up too. :)

Geekboy and Fire are boyfriends actually did I mention that? Gotta make it crystal clear.

While I mostly use their card's name (Libromancer *name*) when talking about them, "regular" names I sometimes use are

Magigirl/Mystigirl: Maggie/Magnolia. An easy one honestly.

Agent/Doombroker: Agent (yeah...)/Desu-nii

Last one is used by Magigirl mostly, sometimes GeekFire use it too when they want to mess with Agent a bit/are begging for idk mc donalds. Its a play on his japanese name Deathbroker/Desuburoka. I just think its cute.

Fire: He goes by Fire. Thats it thats the whole name.

Geekboy: Michiren/Michi. This is actually just. A funny one, and how I refeer to him as with my partner. Michi in spanish... is the way we say kitty/cute cat...

#libromancer #libromanger agent #libromancer magigirl #libromancer fire #libromancer geekboy #libromancer | fire*geekboy #libromancer headcanons #ygo tcg #val's headcanons #geekfireshipping

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

just watched the Name of the Rose for the first time!!

it was really good. i mean except for the sexism and homophobia but it's the 14th century catholic church that's a given.

but like!! murders!! logic vs belief in god! books!! the fucking setting and music!! also i love salvadore (is that how he's spelled?) and also i'm kinda real fucking proud that i understand everything he says bc he speaks like 4 languages all mashed into one (i mean i do know 4 languages, including latin which is the foundation of most of those languages)

and also i gotta flex that I CALLED IT. I FUCKING CALLED IT. spoilers for the film and it's fantastic solution obviously but like I KNEW it was the licking fingers touching pages!! like ok i didn't really stay with it all the time but that's cuz im so bad at predicting/guessing films and like to focus on just enjoying it that i rarely think abt it but like i said it!! after the second guy died I FUCKING CALLED IT HAHAHAHAHAAAA

what can i say, i never see even the most obvious things coming and this was a real great solution (tho there *were* lots of hints you could piece together) and i knew it that's pretty fucking cool. props to my dad who managed to act normal about it until it was actually revealed tho

(also i could marvel at the pacing and lack of dramatics with no weight to them other than the drama itself etc etc but i say this abt basically any old film i watch (im right abt it too) so pretend i said that lol)

#a biscuit's rambles #the name of the rose #no but the atmosphere it created really WAS fucking amazing #when they found that skull door?? through the labyrinth?? when the librarian guy hurried back to the book? you can bet your ass i was so sc #thats good cinema baby #but also with that inquisitor guy whose name i forgot BERNADO that was it right #the way he died?? deserved. and also if that wasnt by gods hand then idk

[mbti-enemies]

hi! i just started following you and honestly, i'm OBSESSED. i can't believe it took me this long to find this page. i'm infp and i can 100% say that all these posts about them are hilariously true! you've got me to ship INFP x ENTJ and most importantly, i'm in love with ENFP and INTJ dynamic. they definitely give me sunshine x grumpy vibes and enemies to lovers kinda feelings. they're fighting at one moment, and then something happens to enfp? suddenly INTJ FLIPS OUT AND THREATENS EVERYONE? like hello?

can you pleaseeeee me more about their romantic dynamics and how it would all pan out? me, an infp, a hopeless romantic, is definitely rooting for them. ALSO MORE ABOUT INFP AND ENTJ.

(okay so theres gonna be a whole load of these posts coming through but heres some little snippets and headcannon type things so far- but pls look thro some of the other posts !!- intj)

ENTJ and INFP

- infp talking animately over their favourite disney movie and entj just staring at them , transfixed and j nodding along not really listening but god damn why are they so cute ive lost all rational thought ability

- entj starts to realise they have feelings for infp and being all like no no way this isnt happening before giving in and being like dammit this is happening i must protect them at all costs im theirs now

- entj feeling such warmth blooming in their chest every time infp looks at them with such faith and loyalty cause it makes them feel as if they can do anything , and for infp.. they really would do anything

- infp adoring the way entj can be all focused and straight forward and loving how entj makes them stronger and more determined everytime entj encourages infp and supports them in whatever they do

- cue entj's breathe hitch as they forget how to breath every time infp absent mindly intertwines their hands with entjs or nuzzles into their side while watching tv

- infp being the one person around whom entj lets their guard down and entj being the person around who infp feels safe, secure and its with them that infp realises that they no longer have to get lost in daydreams cause for once real life is just as great..maybe even better

- moments in the dark of night where theyre reading together and entjs reading in a whispers that echo off the walls while infp runs their fingers through entjs hair , getting lost in their voice and into the world of the story thats being brought to life

- simple moments just existence in peace together , no words need to be said for they both already know that its in the others company where life seems to run by best

INTJ and ENFP

- intj going around insulting and being sarcastic to enfp all day but the second anyone else even indirectly says anything against enfp ..there'll be war

- intj feeling oh so special and proud whenever enfp acconplishes smth little (or not so little) and being like aww look at this ball of sunshine (*heart melting j a lil*)

- intj ever so subtly recpricoating enfps feelings by litlle thungs like playing with their hair , having a hand on enfps shoudler, resting their chin on enfps head ..just these subtle touchs which might seem like nothing but enfp knows means a whole lot more

- enfp trying to get intj to be all happy(!!) and more excited(!!) about life while intjs just there like 'can we go home p l e a s e'

- intj being all like yes theyre an idiot but theyre MY idiot so wherever they go ive gotta be there

-enfps literally acting like a puppy on sugar for every small thing while intj just tags along very amused and having fun while watching enfp completely lose their mind over something as simple as a light up keyboard or smth (intj will never admit this but they admire how enfp manages to find such joy in everything..makes the world seem that much more wondeful)

- arguing about almost everything and intj resolving to being cold and distant but if enfp walks in all teary eyed then screw it *cue intj silently walking up to enfp, gingerly tilting their head up and looking right into their eyes and murmuring in words dripping with danger "tell me who did this to you" (even god cant help the person who messes with enfp)

#intj #entj #mbti #enfp #infp #ask #mail

[hongjoongslut]

Royal Enemies

psychopath!hongjoong x queen!reader

summary: ever since you were young, kim hongjoong was your enemy. you hated him but he was so perfect in every way. for years, he tried to be with you. due to his criminal family and your royal family, it was taboo. now that you’re both grown, he comes to find you, but not without leaving hints before he shows up.

word count: 3.2k

warnings:royal!au, mentions of blood, knives, parents death but doesn’t describe the actual death, beheading, crime scene photos. hongjoong being kinda a psychopath (obviously), tatted!joong, personalservant!mingi, personalbodyguard!yunho, hongjoong uses a shit ton of pet names, oral (m receiving), talk of birth control, unprotected sex, aftercare, sorta enemies to lovers??, mentions of hongjoong’s gang

A/N: i think that’s all the warnings, let me know if i missed something. also i was inspired by a tiktok imagine to write this 😂 also the italics are when reader is in thought mode

why did he have to be so damn perfect? you were raised to hate his...kind. your parents have had his parents arrested before, even threatened to behead them. he wanted you for so long, even when you were such young children. he would always come to you with a dandelion, saying it would match the yellow earrings you always wore. time after time, you refused him, hurting him and you inside.

your crowing ceremony was filled with the town citizens. you knew hongjoong and his family was banished from this town. you didn’t have to worry about dealing with them no further, or so you thought. unfortunately your parents passed a year after you became queen. you luckily had enough experience and knowledge to fight for yourself.

“your majesty, this was sent in. it has nothing on it but your name. should i throw it away?” your servant asks. “actually Mingi, let me see it please.” he hands you the envelope and bows before leaving you be. you opened the envelope slowly, slightly worried of what was inside. it was a letter from what you can see.

“Y/N, it’s been so long sweetheart. im proud of you finally becoming the queen. you always deserved that crown. you looked gorgeous that day.” you pause reading to see a polariod of you being crowned taped to the back of the envelope. “it’s a gorgeous picture, isn’t it? im going to let you hold it for me while i do some business. im coming back to town soon to see you, my love. you can no longer deny me now that your family is gone. i know you felt the same way about me as i did you. don’t worry pretty princess, everything will be okay. see you soon.-Joongie”

your eyes widen. he was there at the ceremony. he was banished, how did he pass through without detection? part of you felt nervous, knowing his family reputation, but the other actually felt a little...excited? it’s been so long, he’s probably grown into a handsome man. you shake your head, clearing all thoughts.

“everyone, i called you here because someone from my past is supposed to come into town. he isn’t an old friend...well, he kinda is. but he’s dangerous.” you somehow managed to find a sorta recent picture of him. damn did he look good. “his name is kim hongjoong. if you see him, bring him to me immediately, alive. he is too dangerous to be in this town.” your guards all bowed and left, except for yunho. “your majesty?” you turn, seeing your personal guard. “what’s up yunho?” you smile. he really is like a lost puppy. “that’s...the kid from our childhood, right? the one who was so in love with you and would try everyday to be with you?” you sigh, nodding along. “how do you know he’s dangerous? maybe he just wants to reunite?” he’s too innocent. “yunho, his family is an infamous killer group. he was probably born holding a cleaver in his fist. he wants to come here to see me, and me alone. god knows what he’ll do to the people if they get in his way.” he nods. “yes, your majesty. My guards and I will do everything it takes to protect you and this town.” you smile at him, watching him leave the room.

now it’s getting scary. the other day, a dandelion was on your nightstand. none of your guards or anyone else in the castle put it there. notes were left almost everyday, containing pictures of you and stuff he has said to you in the past.

“these will match your yellow earrings perfectly, darling.”

“black has always been your color, my love.”

“i will see you soon. dress nice for me,will you?”

you may have been nervous, but regardless tradition is tradition. for centuries, this town has a big party at the castle to celebrate the queen and her 2 year anniversary. your parents never told you why, and it was kinda confusing. why was it 2 years instead of 5 or 10? you stare at the mirror, preparing yourself to give a speech due to the suspicious activity in the town recently.

“Hello everyone. I know lately there have been some suspicious activity happening around here, but do not fear. my guards have this place locked down. we are safe here. we will have the traditional party at 6. dress as you like and just remember to be careful!” the crowd cheers. you smile and bow before rushing to get ready.

your makeup was done so heavenly. a beautiful smoky eye look to compliment your gorgeous black lace dress. of course, you asked your suitor to add a lace cape. yes, you were extra alright. his words kept replaying in your head. is he coming tonight? he said see you soon. he said to dress pretty. what’s gonna happen? you check your watch, seeing it’s almost time to open the doors. you got this.

it’s been an hour and so far everything has runned smoothly. people have come up to you and thanked you, took pictures with you and some old childhood friends came to catch up and they were totally not jealous.

it’s rounding 10:30 PM and most have left due to having work early next morning. you couldn’t relate. you didn’t realize you had pockets in your dress until now, when you tried to scratch your thigh. some fabrics always make you itch. there was something in there, however. maybe it was a surprise letter from the suitor, or someone in the castle or one of the townspeople? you opened it, all you read was a time.

“12 PM. i suggest you be in the castle, waiting for me on your throne.

-joongie”

you told the guards to end the party early, and to tell everyone to be safe and careful. you sat in your thone, not because he told you to. you wanted to. or maybe it was both. you told yunho of the little note you found and he has been by you ever since.

screams fill your ears. he’s here. yunho eased you, holding his weapon ready. the front doors swung open, revealing a bloody, wearing all black kim hongjoong.

“stop right now, hongjoong.” hongjoong laughs. “Jeong Yunho? it’s been a minute man. hope everything is well. don’t worry, i won’t your pretty little princess. all i want is a talk. “i’m not leaving her side. you’re dangerous.” he laughs, slightly louder. “dangerous? oh please, you remember how i was. i would cry if someone killed a fly near me. i need to talk to her alone.” before yunho could say anything, you stopped him. “i got this yunho, you go check on the other staff and stay away from here.” he hesitated but nodded and ran.

“Y/N. you look as lovely as ever. and you even wore black like i mentioned? you must love me.” you scoff. “i barely remembered you name. what makes you think you can come into my town and scare all these innocent people, when all you wanted was me?” he steps closer, now about a foot in front of you. “you don’t remember how mischievous and sneaky i was? i’d always make a little treasure hunt for you. if you lost your earring, i’d find it fast and make a little hunt for you just so you can find it. plus, the dandelions.” he always was a little mischievous. “so why did you come to see me, joongie?” he smiles. “you really are innocent, aren’t you? i know you know that i was madly in love with you, and still am.” your jaw drops. you knew he loved you then but still now? “you can’t love someone if you know little to nothing about them.” he steps closer, making you grip your hidden knife. gotta love having hidey spots. “really? i saw your eyes light up when they showed the photos of murders my parents did. i always saw it. the way you got excited when they would lock someone up. the way you smiled when they beheaded that guard that was secretly our bitch. you’re a psychopath just as i am. you can just easily hide it.” no, he’s not right. is he? you stood there, trying to find words to spit at him. “princess, listen to me. we can rule this town. there wouldn’t be any criminal activity at all. especially if my crew were part of the guards. i’ll spare you the details for now, but they get the job done efficiently.”

you step back, revealing your knife, which is ironically black. “if you want me joongie, come get me then.” he pulls his bloody knife out, flicking some blood on the marble floor. someone will clean this up later. “you said if i want you, well in what way sweetheart? i don’t want to kill you unless you harm me. but…” he pauses, a smirk crawling into his lips “i want you under me screaming for me. take that as you will, but tell me which way you want so i can know how to proceed. why did he have to be so damn attractive. “then throw your knife to the side. i will mine at the same time.” he lowers his knife, staring at you. “i’ll throw mine, but i’ll let you keep yours honey. in case you need it to protect you from actual harm.” his knife clatters on the floor, spots of blood flying from it. why was it so beautiful? his hands were raised in the air. “do what you want, your majesty.” shouldn’t have said that.

“follow me to my bedroom, i don’t want anyone to see what im about to do to you. it will absolutely scar them.” he smiles. “you’re a kinky queen? was not expecting that.” he starts to laugh but you point right at his adam’s apple. “i would watch what you say right now. i’m in charge of how you die.” he nods, following you.

you have the knife to his back, slowly leading him to sit on your bed. “i wanted to talk in here so it’s more private. this is my business, not the castles.” he smirks, nothing leaving his lips. “why do you..” you pause, feeling your anger boil up. you push him back and crawl on top of him. “always have to be so attractive, yet so dangerous? why do i want you when i know i shouldn’t? tell me why you have been fucking with my head since i was a kid!” you yell, not realizing how close your lips are to his. “because princess, that’s how attraction works. your brain and heart go at war until one wins. how about you end the war and kiss me?” he whispers, grabbing your cheek softly. your breath shakes before you crash your lips to his.

instantly, fire fills your body. you want to make him pay for making you feel this way about him. your tongues fought for dominance. you were going to win, but his hand comes to your throat, bringing you off his lips. “such a dirty girl. are you sure you want this?” yes, more than you fucking know. “maybe i should ask you the same thing, you fucking bottom.” that switched something in him, his eyes fueling with even more lust. he slaps your ass, you do your best to keep your moan in. you won’t win this easily, joongie. “such a filthy fucking mouth for a queen. don’t you think? you may be a brat to others, but you will not be one with me. you will take what i give you and obey me. or else…” his hand grazes your thigh, right near your knife. “we might have to see how well this knife really works.”

he stand you up off the bed. “im gonna take my sweet time with you princess. i’ve been waiting for this for years.” he slowly unzips your back, letting the dress fall to your hips. surprise, i wore expensive lingerie, waiting for you. “look at this, looks like you’re dirtier than i thought. the people think you’re this sweet, innocent woman. i know you’re nothing but a psychopath who loves to play a facade.” you step out of the dress, facing you and hongjoong in the mirror. “look at how sexy you are princess. so beautiful, so pure. this skin…” he stops to feel your body, his main focus on your chest. “so markable...fuck.” you turn to face him, smirking. “get on the bed, criminal.” he quirked his eyebrow, smiling at the name. you’re back on top of him, kissing him fiercely as you unbutton his shirt. his chest reveals so many tattoos that blend so beautifully together. you stopped to feel his toned ink covered chest. “like what you see princess?” you nod, feeling your way to where his pants border his hips. he leans you off him, pulling his pants down. holy shit. he looks so sexy. it looks so.. big. “you’re staring, princess.” you snap out of your thoughts, remembering where you were. he lays you so gently on the bed, slowly kissing down your body. he leaves marks all down your chest. “joongie-“ you moan in such bliss, your hands finding his hair to tug. you can feel your arousal almost running down your thigh. luckily this lingerie set was crotch-less.

he slowly runs his fingers through your folds, groaning when he felt your arousal drown his digits. “so fucking wet baby…fuck”. he slowly inserts one finger, both of you groaning in unison. “so tight..no one has taken proper care of you,have they princess?” you shake your head, your mind too clouded with lust to speak a word. please keep going joongie. he removed his finger, sucking your arousal off. “so sweet, sweeter than anything i’ve ever had.” he comes back to kiss you, slowly to allow you to taste your arousal. you push him back to take off his boxers, watching his cock spring free from the almost offensive material. holy shit. he is big. “don’t worry pretty, it will fit and i’ll make sure to not hurt you...too much” you laugh at his comment. you stick your tongue out to tease his tip. he hisses at the contact. “you better not fucking tease me y/n. you will not like the consequences.” try me. you so wanted to tease him, but you were desperate to have his cock in you one way or another. you slowly lower your mouth almost all the way to the base, beautiful moans and choked groans leaving hongjoong’s lips. “shit, your mouth is so perfect baby.” you lick the underside of his cock, spreading your saliva everywhere. he owes me for ruining my makeup. his hands reach behind your head, placing his hands on you, but not moving. i see what you want. you come off his cock to catch a breath. “fyi joongie, i know what you wanna do.” you smile and wink. he smirks. “what’s your safe world darling?” he grabs your cheek, rubbing it softly. “you’re gonna think it’s stupid, but it’s pepper.” he laughs. “i mean, if it works it works.” you laugh with him, staring into his eyes. why did i choose to ignore this side of him? you slowly ease his cock back into your mouth, his hands resuming his previous placement. he slowly thrust into your mouth, the tip reaching the back of your throat. “fuck..” he sighs. he slowly speeds up, your body is trying to make you gag, but you push it down. i’m not showing him any signs of weakness. his pace is almost inhumane, your throat beginning to burn at the force. “shit shit shit...god you’re so perfect.” he removes your head, lifting it to see your makeup ruined. “i already thought you were gorgeous, but with your makeup ruined, you look so heavenly.” you smile, crawling back into the bed. he follows you, crawling on top. “are you on birth control baby?” he asks as he leaves more hickies down your chest. “y-yes, just fuck me joongie, please” he lines himself up, coating his tip in your arousal. he slowly pushes himself in, watching your face scrunch in pleasure. fuck. he’s so big. “holy shit y/n, i am not gonna last long. your pussy is so fucking perfect” he inches himself in until he bottoms out. his eyes close, the pleasure being too much. “joongie, please move” he pulls back a little, just to push himself all the way back in. his pace started off slow, low groans emitting from his lips. “so beautiful baby, so fucking beautiful” he goes faster, moans filling the room. “so big, so full joongie” he smiles, kissing your forehead. i love him. a knot in your stomach begins to tighten. “so-so close joongie-e..please please let me cum” he thrusts so fast, bringing his hand to rub your clit. “me too angel. you can do it baby, cum all over my fucking cock. show me what a dirty girl you really are.” the knot snaps, your vision flashing white. “good girl.” you’re still coming down from your euphoria when you feel his hot cum paint your walls. he eases himself out of you and lays next to you. “are you okay princess? did i hurt you?” you laugh. that’s really ironic. “im okay joongie. you didn’t hurt me.” you cuddle up in his arms, not wanting to leave your bed. “i know you’re comfy, but i have to clean you up” he gets up, grabbing your hand. “to your bath, my queen”

warmth fills your body. you’ve never let anyone bathe you before. you were way too insecure and wouldn’t dare make one of your workers do so. “such a beautiful woman.” he washes your body, being very careful around your chest area. “how am i gonna hide these baby?” you pout. he giggles, kissing your cheek. “don’t worry my love, i have a right hand woman that is absolutely excellent in makeup. she’s good at covering wounds and etc, so i assume she can hide a hickey.” you smile, tiredness filling your eyes. he dries you off and carries you back to your bed. “i would let you wear my clothes, but they’re kinda dirty at the moment..” you and him laugh. “i’ll be okay. but you owe me.” he nods and bows. he joins you in your bed, cuddling you close. “thank you princess for finally accepting my love. you don’t know how long i’ve wanted this. us together, you.” you were too tired to form a sentence, so you hummed in agreement. should i tell him? you both lay in silence, basking in each other’s warmth. “baby?” you ask, opening your eyes. you lean your head up to see hongjoong’s face. “yes my love?” you smile and kiss him. “I love you.” he smiles and brings you impossibly closer.

“i love you more my queen.”

#ateez #hongjoong smut #hongjoong #atiny

[haikyuu-scenarios-drabbles]

Shower Friends (Miya Atsumu x F!reader)

The dorm you live in has co-ed bathrooms. Why that’s remotely a good idea is beyond you; and recently, your precious shower time is being interrupted by a certain blonde haired setter for the volleyball team. When he lies to his teammates that he has a girlfriend, somehow you get roped into his scheme.

genre(s): college!au, fake dating, angst, fluff, mutual pining, enemies to lovers (kinda), eventual smut  words: 2.2k

a/n: and here we are at the end, tbh im a little sad this fic is over, it was so fun to write and i am DEFINITELY more in love with Atsumu than i was before

one | two | three | four | five |

Epilogue 

Four years have passed since you and Atsumu finally got together, and this is the third year in a row he has an away game scheduled on your anniversary. It’s hard for you to actually be mad, he can’t control his schedule. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be disappointed.

And Atsumu hates that he’s let you down again. Wanting more than anything to finally spend your actual anniversary together instead of substituting for an early or late celebration. You’re a good sport, and he loves you for that, supporting him and his volleyball career without complaint despite his long absences and track record of missing important events.

Though the night before he’s set to leave, you’re sitting beside him on the couch, tucked under his arm while the two of you watch something on the TV. For the past few minutes, you’ve been fiddling with his shirt between your fingers and he knows you’re gathering the courage to say something. He’s pretty certain he can guess what it’ll be about too. And all he can do is brace himself when he hears you huff.

“What if you mysteriously came down with something?” You finally say.

He has to laugh at that. “That’s pretty diabolical of you.”

You shrug, already feeling silly you brought it up at all. It’s not really a big deal, but it’s been three years since either of you were even in the same country on the day you swallowed your pride and stormed into his dorm room to confess to him. Sue you for being a bit put out by it.

“Did you poison my dinner or something?” His heart lifts at the small chuckle he gets out of you from that.

“No, but don’t give me any ideas.”

He rests his cheek on the top of your head, eyes still on the TV as he jokes, “Besides, ya think they have any chance of winning without me?”

He feels your smile against his chest, then jolts at the jab you give him in the side. But still you say, “They’d be nothing without you.”

Pulling you into his lap, he cradles your face in his hands and looks at you seriously. And even after four years, you’ve never gotten tired of the way he looks at you—still like you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever laid eyes on.

“I’m sorry,” he says sincerely. “I know it sucks.”

“It does,” you pout.

Pressing his forehead to yours he murmurs, “I’d be with you if I could.”

You love these intimate moments with him, when you both let your teasing natures fall away and all that’s left is how much you love each other. Even after four years, it’s still abundant, and somehow still growing every day. So, you sink into his embrace and reply, “I know.” And you do. That’s what makes it bearable. Knowing that even though he’s off in some exciting country, playing the game he loves—there isn’t a minute that goes by that he doesn’t think about you.

“You gunna watch the game?”

It so happens that this year, his game landed on the exact date of your anniversary. When he’d found out, he’d vowed to make you proud; to make him being away so often worth it to you. And it makes his heart swell when you say without hesitation, “Of course.”

So, a couple days later as he’s about to leave for the airport, he tugs you to him, lowers his lips to yours and kisses you as if he’s going off to war or something. He knows it’s a bit overkill, but he doesn’t really care. He wants to do everything he can to make it up to you. And damn, is he slapped in the face with how much he loves you when you finally separate and you tease him, “Sheesh, you’ll be back in a couple days.”

His response is to kiss you again and again muttering between kisses, “Gotta get my fill now to tide me over.”

He only leaves when you’re practically shoving him out the door. “You’re going to be late!” He reluctantly let’s go of you, hefts his duffel over his shoulder, takes his suitcase in hand and heads down the hallway towards the elevator. On his way there, you shout, “Say hi to the boys for me!”

He smiles smugly, winking over his shoulder at you. “Will do.” Knowing full well his teammates are extremely jealous of him because of you. And why yes—he absolutely does love rubbing you in their faces.

Once he’s out of sight, your smile falters as you shut the door and turn to your now empty apartment. A sadness falls over your heart that’s familiar but unwelcome. You have to find something to distract yourself, otherwise you’ll just let yourself wallow, which you know Atsumu wouldn’t want.

On the night of your anniversary, you eat dinner at Osamu’s restaurant as you normally do on the nights of Atsumu’s away games. You sit at the bar alone, watching the game on the many TV’s around that Osamu always has on the sports channel when Atsumu is playing. Tonight, you notice Osamu chats with you more than he normally does, and you’re certain he’s picked up on your somber vibes.

He even sits at the bar next to you, talking with you about the game and doing an excellent job of distracting you from the hole Atsumu always leaves whenever he’s gone. Tonight, that hole feels even bigger than it usually does.

“He’s playing good tonight,” Osamu notes, his trained eyes fixated on the TV. No matter how many games you watch, or how often Atsumu talks about volleyball, you’ll never have the same understanding of the game that Osamu does.

Chin resting on your palm, you glance at him from the corner of your eye. “Is he?” To you, it always looks like Atsumu is playing well.

But you like listening to Osamu’s technical breakdown of his gameplay and aren’t opposed to helping his endeavor of distracting you. “He’s tuned in,” is all he says by way of explanation.

You watch the TV with newfound interest, noticing that Osamu seems to be right. Atsumu is normally pretty focused, but tonight whenever the camera shows a closeup of him, the look in his eyes is razor sharp. And yet, he’s still making those insane plays that catch his opponents completely off guard. You can feel your pride bubbling up in your chest like it does every time you watch him play, quirking your lips upward into a small smile.

You love how much Atsumu loves volleyball, and whenever you can you go to his games here in Japan because watching him on TV is nothing compared to in person. Plus, it’s way more fun getting swept up into his arms in the heat of the moment after a win than several days later when the excitement has died a little.

You watch Atsumu the rest of the game, noting how the closer they get to match point, the more tenacious he becomes. But unlike other times, when he gets too excited and starts making insane plays that might not work, he seems to be dialing in even further, pulling the best out of all of his hitters even when they’re at the end of their rope. You at least know enough about volleyball to appreciate just how amazing that is.

To your delight, the Black Jackals win, and as usual several of the players get interviewed afterwards. Somehow, Hinata and Bokuto are still full of energy despite playing a full match, speaking excitedly to the interviewer. The coverage switches to Atsumu’s interview, and you can’t help ogling him a little bit. He somehow manages to look good, his hair damp from sweat but eyes gleaming from the adrenaline of the match.

And as you suspect, like Hinata and Bokuto, he’s pretty amped after the game. Amped enough that he completely ignores the interviewer’s questions and looks right at the camera. Immediately, you’re struck by the feeling that he’s looking directly at you. “I’ve only got one thing to say and that’s happy anniversary to the lovely lady I got waiting for me at home.”

The interviewer flusters, changing gears quickly and trying to get Atsumu to comment more on his relationship, but all he does is give the camera his signature smile and a wink before turning his back to the screen and rejoining his celebrating teammates. You don’t hear what the interviewer says next. You’re pinned to your seat, stunned, until your natural reaction is to burst out laughing at his proclamation.

Osamu just eyes you curiously, a small smile splaying across his lips as you say, “Only Atsumu—I swear.”

He shrugs. “Hey, you picked him.”

“Yes,” you laugh. “Yes, I did.” And you really wouldn’t have it any other way, no matter how long or how many times he’s apart from you.  

You leave shortly after the coverage of the game has ended, bidding Osamu goodnight and thanking him for his company and hospitality. He waves you out, and once you’re on your way home, you’re suddenly overwhelmed by the loneliness you’ve successfully kept at bay until now. The thought of climbing into a cold bed that feels too big when Atsumu’s not there settles into the front of your mind and it’s hard not to spiral into the sadness that’s been looming over you all day.

You sigh, wrapping your coat tighter around you, trudging towards your apartment that you know is going to suffocate you with its silence. You know it’s pretty pathetic missing him so much, feeling sorry for yourself that you’re alone once again on this day, but you can’t help it. The hope that next year will be different is nearly gone by now, your determination to refuse to accept it finally broken.

Entering the dark apartment, you toss your keys onto the counter and make your way to the living room, fully intending on spending the rest of the night mindlessly watching some TV show until you fall asleep. Subconsciously, your thoughts wander to what Atsumu is doing right now. The team usually goes out after games, especially ones they win. And it’ll be a day or two until they leave wherever they’re at, so they have plenty of time.

Part of you aches at the thought of him out, having a good time with his team, while you’re here—alone, watching some lame TV show and feeling sorry for yourself.

What you don’t know, is that Atsumu has forgone the celebration tonight. In fact, he’s rushing to the airport to catch his late flight back to Japan. He booked this flight the day after he found out he was going to be gone again. He might not make it back in time to be there on the actual date, but he hopes the gesture is enough.

On the flight, he thinks about your reaction, imagining your laugh and beaming smile at the sight of him. Daydreaming about sweeping you up into his arms and kissing you until you’re both breathless and dizzy keeps him awake, though he doubts you’ll be when he arrives. That’s alright, he perfectly happy surprising you in the morning too.

He gets back to Japan in the early hours of the morning, and when he enters the apartment, he finds you fast asleep under a blanket on the couch, the TV casting a faint glow into the room. He smiles softly to himself, allowing himself a minute to appreciate how adorable you look. Leaning down, he finagles his arms beneath your shoulders and legs and hefts you into his arms to carry you to the bedroom. To his surprise, you don’t wake up. Instead, you mumble quietly, and his heart nearly bursts at how even in your sleep you press closer to him.

Tucking you in, he kisses you lightly on the forehead before climbing under the covers beside you. Pulling you into his arms, you fit nicely in his embrace, and he falls into an easy sleep.

~

In the morning, your eyes flutter open, blearily looking around and realizing you’re now in the bedroom. When did you move in here? Did you put yourself to bed last night without realizing it? It’s then that your eyes snap open at the realization that the apartment smells like breakfast. Heart thundering against your chest, you throw the covers off you and head towards the kitchen so fast you almost trip in the hallway.

Upon seeing Atsumu standing at the stove, his back to you, it’s hard to keep your feet under you. And without your permission, tears well up in your eyes so fast that a few drops are already sliding down your cheeks. You sniff to try and get a hold of yourself, which gets Atsumu’s attention.

He whips around to find you standing at the entryway of the hallway with tears streaking down your face and immediately his heart softens. “Happy anniversary, love,” he says by way of greeting.

You can’t stop yourself; your feet move before your brain can catch up with them, throwing yourself into his open arms. He squeezes you tight, and then your lips are on his, your fingers tangling into his hair pulling him closer as you slot your body against his. He can’t help chuckling at you, despite thoroughly enjoying this reaction to his surprise.

“I’m trying to cook breakfast,” he says between kisses.

You don’t think he’ll be very hard to convince to abandon the eggs on the stove. With one hand, you turn the burner off. “Don’t care,” you say, pushing him back towards the bedroom.

He happily obliges.

~

taglist:  @apollochjld @kurosarium @vicassa @carbs-need-more-love @underratedmage @idek-at-thispoint @wtfeverbrandi @food8me @yikes-buddy @ntimacy @nyxiie @oikawasbooty @chocolate3010 @sugawarabby @greenyiplier @kritiiiii @tokyosdawn @youstydiaa @h3llok1ttygirl @honeyapplepi @iminlovewhaikyuu @moonlightaangel @tetrapot-melon-tea @putmeinyourdeathnote @fireworkemoji102 @angrylittleriri @anime-simp @hxked @silverwhare @grandfestivalalienlight @waitforitillwritemywayout @tendo-sxtori @plxstic-rose @hqissodelicate @unknownloving @cielhidalgo @mattsunsoswag @yoitsseulgi @whenyouscream @cereal-kileeeeer @jackadlersstuff @oopsliales @sssjuico10 

#miya atsumu x reader #haikyuu x reader #miya atsumu reader insert #haikyuu reader insert #miya atsumu imagine #miya atsumu scenario #miya atsumu #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu scenario #haikyuu!!

[peach-pops]

hello!!! I love ur blog so much ! Can I requests a hc with Oikawa and Kuroo dating a Hothead/easily angered girlfriend? Maybe she gets into a fight and how would the boys react?

This is spicy yes of course! Also I def relate to the reader cause I get mad at freaking everything. There is a lot of cussing and there is violence obviously so just a warning!

Also PSA: I know Mika ( Daisho’s gf)  is probably super nice in the manga but I had to make her uhhhhh unlikeable so yeah. 

Oikawa and Kuroo with a Hothead Girlfriend

-Oikawa-

There’s no need to sugarcoat it, Oikawa was intimidated by you because of your ‘ don’t fuck with me attitude’ but once you started dating, he realized it came in handy especially with his fans

He never had to worry about his fans ever messing with you because they’d be dumb to say anything to your face without you throwing hands back so Oikawa always thought things would be in his favor

UNTILLLL you showed up to one of Aoba Johsai’s games because of course, you wanted to support the team 

You watched the game from up on the stands and you could hear his fans whispering amongst each other about you but you wanted to stay focused on the game 

Whenever Oikawa served, he would make a quick glance at you to make sure that you saw it but even though your eyes were on him, you didn’t look thrilled

Oikawa put two and two together once he saw his little fanbase a few rows back laughing in your direction and his heart dropped. Sure, he was upset that they were saying things about you but he was even more worried that you were going to kill them 

The match was getting closer to the end but the girls were persistent in bashing you for every little thing and you did  your best to keep your temper under control 

“ What is she even wearing?” 

“ Shouldn’t she be wearing a jersey to support her boyfriend?”

“ Maybe Oikawa-San and her broke up!” 

“ Thank goodness, he can do so much better anyway. He is way out of her league.”

You clenched your fists against the bottom of your seat. You’d be damned if you were just gonna sit there and listen to them talk badly about you

You whipped your head around and gave them a deadly glare,” Just wait until this game ends and we’ll see if you’ll be able to keep talking shit.” 

They’re just shocked that you even turned around to confront them and while they’re a bit shooketh cause you’re  high key scary, they don’t take your threat seriously 

Oikawa can practically feel the tension in the air so once Aoba Johsai scores the last point and they take their bows, he looks up at you as if he’s pleading with you to just wait until he can get there

Cue that one tik tok: ‘ girl don’t do it, it’s not worth it…’ 

And you’re looking back at him like ‘ im not gonna do it girl...I was just thinking about it...im not gonna do it”

You and Oikawa both thought that the coast was clear and that you two can go about your day but then the main fangirl opened her mouth,” I told you guys she’s too scared to fight us. Who does this bitch think she is?”

It all happened so fast, one minute you were beaming down proudly at your boyfriend and the next, you’re jumping over the bleachers to launch yourself at the girl in the stands 

“ OH SHIT!” Oikawa raced out of the gym with Iwaizumi running after him because Iwaizumi knows Oikawa might need his help 

Oikawa had never seen you this mad before so he didn’t know what to expect as he raced up the stairs

His mouth dropped when he saw you on top of the girl and you were going at it 

like yassssssss reader beat her ass!!! Fuck her up!!!!🤪🤪🤪

There’s a crowd gathered around but Oikawa managed to squeeze his way through and shouted at you to stop. He knew how strong you were and frankly, the girl didn’t even stand a chance against you. 

Obviously, he is your number one fan but he didn’t want you to go to jail for murdering this girl in cold blood

He tried to pull you off of her but you have that gorilla grip and this boy was struggling to pry you off like damn where is all of this strength coming from???

Oikawa looked around for anyone to help him but the crowd was a bit too scared of you so he shouted for backup

“ IWA-CHAN HELP ME BEFORE SHE KILLS HER!” 

Iwaizumi pushed through everyone and he assessed the situation. He sees lil ol’ you swinging at the girl who’s sprawled out on the floor screaming but he’s more focused on the fact that you listened to his advice on how to throw punches

He stans necessary violence!

Iwa managed to loosen your grip on the girl which gave Oikawa enough time to wrap his arms around you and hold you back 

“ Who’s scared now ha!” You laughed evilly as Oikawa tried dragging you away from the crime scene and he’s visibly shaken because his girlfriend is psychotic but is it awful that he feels so proud?!?!?

Like in his head he’s thinking,” damn okay go off queen!” 🥰

He managed to carry you all the way down to the stairs and pulled you aside to make sure you’re okay 

“Are you hurt anywhere? How are you feeling? Do you need some water or some ice for your knuckles?”

You looked down at your knuckles and sure enough, they were bruised but surprisingly not bloody,” Oh, I fucked up my knuckles...I didn’t even notice, ” You said as Oikawa shook his head disapprovingly,” I wasn’t even hitting that hard!”

“ Iwa-chan, can you be a dear and get some ice? I’m gonna stay here with Y/N to make sure she doesn’t go back up there,” Oikawa said as you held up your knuckles to show Iwaizumi 

“ How do I look Zumi?”

“ Damn Y/N, those look badass!”

Iwa was practically beaming because he knew he had taught you well🤩🤩🤩

“ Iwa-chan don’t get encourage her! Go get the ice!” Oikawa shouted as you and Iwaizumi both laughed before Iwa turned to leave 

Oikawa lightly skimmed his thumb across your knuckles and pressed an even lighter kiss to your knuckles before sighing,” Was it worth ruining your pretty hands honey?”

You inhaled deeply before shrugging innocently at your boyfriend,” Toru, I really tried to keep my cool I promise! They were saying really mean things the whole time but I did my best to control myself but she had it coming...Are you mad at me?”

“ Of course I’m not mad,” Oikawa answered honestly as he pulled you closer to him,” If you lost than sure, I would be disappointed but you won so I’m more proud than anything! But I’m pretty sure you broke her nose.”

“ A wise boyfriend once said; If you’re gonna hit it, hit it until it breaks,” You said with a smirk as Oikawa leaned in to give you a victory kiss

-Kuroo-

Kuroo knew what he was getting himself into when the two of you started dating. You were always so sweet and thoughtful but whenever you were upset, you didn’t care who got in your way, all you wanted to do was unleash the beast!

Most of the time, Kuroo could calm you down before it ever escalated but on the rare account that he couldn’t, he just hoped you didn’t do too much damage to whoever was on the receiving end 

At the end of one of Nekoma’s matches, you were celebrating with the team in the hallway when Kuroo excused himself to go use the restroom

You thought nothing of it and continued to chat and congratulate the other Nekoma members but as minutes passed by without seeing Kuroo, you excused yourself and went to go find him

You turned the corner to see Kuroo with his back facing you as he was loudly talking to Daisho. You knew Kuroo disliked Daisho but you were taken aback when you saw a familiar face next to him, Mika Yamaka 

You and Mika had never gotten along, even way before Kuroo had his feud with the Nohebi captain. The last time you had saw her, things hadn’t gone so well so to see her in the flesh made you feel some type of way

You walked over to where Kuroo was standing as the conversation halted

“ What’s going on? Everything okay?” You asked as Kuroo wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you in closer

“ Nothing, everything is fine,” Kuroo smiled but you could tell that something was obviously going on

“ Wow Y/N-chan, I gotta say, you’ve changed a lot. I see you finally figured out how to style your hair,” Mika said ‘sweetly’ as she played with her boyfriend’s volleyball in her hand,” you finally look grown-up.  I was sure you’d always look like that little geek I met in middle school.” 

You felt him squeeze your hip tightly as if to say ‘ don’t let her get under your skin’ but you couldn’t help yourself to snap back

“Aw, Mika. I wish I could say the same for you but turns out you’re still a fucking snake who-”

“ Okay, let’s just calm down and take a breath,” Kuroo said as he leaned down to whisper into your ear,” don’t do anything stupid, okay? I got your back.”

You squeezed his hand as you kept your icy stare on Mika who looked unbothered

“ Your girl sure does have a temper doesn’t she?” Daisho laughed as Kuroo snapped his eyes over to him

“ What did you say snake?” 

OH SO NOW IT’S SUDDENLY OKAY TO SAY SNAKE

“ He’s not wrong. Y/N is kinda known to be a bit of a bitch,” Mika said as a matter of fact as you and Kuroo both tensed up,” little miss hothead is what they used to call you right?” 

As angry as you were, you knew that she was just trying to push your buttons and that she wasn’t worth the hassle. At this point, the rest of the Nekoma boys were watching from afar and even Kenma had looked up from his game to watch the heated interaction

“ Let’s just go, you guys are all bark and no bite. That’s why Nohebi loses everytime against Nekoma. You want some advice, how about you guys win before you start to talk shit,” You scoffed as you grabbed Kuroo’s hand and walked off in the opposite direction 

Micdrop lets get it Y/N

Kuroo smiled down at you as he pressed a kiss on your forehead,” Baby, I’m really proud of you. I know it’s hard to keep your cool and I’m sure you wanted to beat her ass, huh?”

“ God, I was this close Tetsuro. I swear, I-”

You felt something hard hit the back of your head and a second later, you could hear Mika’s annoying voice,” Who’s all bark and no bite now?”

You looked down at the ground to see the volleyball she had just chucked at your head and you felt smoke come out of your ears

You moved your eyes up and locked eyes with Kenma like ‘did this bitch really just do that😮’ and Kenma nodded ‘girl she really did👀’

Kuroo looked shocked. He didn’t even know what to say but he really didn’t want you to get into a fight 

“Baby-”

“ Hold my purse,” You snapped as you shoved your bag into his chest and walked over to where Mika was standing 

“ Aw, is Y/N-chan gonna cry-”

Kuroo and Daisho watched with open mouths as you practically launched yourself at her, causing the two of you to hit the floor. The Nekoma boys shouted words of encouragement and you could even hear Yaku shout “WORLDSTAR!”

“ You! 👏🏼Stupid! 👏🏼Bitch!” You yelled as you kept slamming your fists into Mika as she swung her fists back to try and get you off

Kuroo rushed over, unsure of what to do. 

A little backstory: You two had a hypothetical conversation a while back and you had explicitly told him that if you had gotten into a fight, he was not allowed to step in unless you were losing. By the looks of it, you were winning by a longshot

It wasn’t until Daisho tried grabbing you off of Mika that Kuroo suddenly became protective and stepped in

“ Don’t touch her, snake!” Kuroo yelled as he easily pushed Daisho to the side and ripped you away from Mika

You scrambled and struggled against your boyfriend’s grip as you continued to curse at Mika

“ Uh huh! That’s what I thought you raggedy-ass, fucking bitch! You’re awfully quiet now, huh!” 

“ Oh my god babe, please-”

“ Whatever!” Mika shouted as Daiso helped her up as she held her nose in pain,”That’s why your stupid boyfriend stepped in.”

“ He stepped in cause he knows I will kill you! Do you hear me, Mika? You’re lucky my boyfriend isn’t such a weak ass like you because if he wasn’t holding me back, you wouldn’t be able to get off the floor-”

“ Okokokokokok! She got the message baby, you’re scary and she’s a dumbass,” Kuroo was struggling to keep his grip on you so he readjusted himself and threw you over his shoulder as he walked past his teammates,” let’s head to the bus.”

The rest of the Nekoma teammates followed the two of you back to the buses as Kenma walked over beside you,” Do you want me to send you the video?”

“ You were recording?” You and Kuroo both asked as Kenma nodded approvingly

“ Hell yeah! Send it to me!”

On the bus ride back, it was relatively loud from all of the talk about you throwing hands with Mika but Kuroo had all of his attention on you 

“ I can’t believe she threw a volleyball at your head, what did she expect when you pounced on her?” Kuroo said as you leaned your head against his shoulder,” but damn, we were so close to leaving without a fight.”

“ I know, I’m sorry Tetsuro. You know I can’t stand her or her boyfriend,” You huffed as Kuroo sighed 

“ You know, have I ever told you how turned on I get seeing you mad?” 

“ Yes babe, several times.”

#haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu headcanon #haikyuu!! headcanon #haikyuu hc #haikyuu!! hc #haikyuu scenario #haikyuu!! scenarios #haikyuu!! scenario #nekoma #nekoma headcanon #nekoma x reader #nekoma headcanons #kuroo #kuroo x reader #kuroo headcanon #kuroo hc #kuroo imagine #tetsuro kuroo #tetsuro kuroo x reader #tetsuro kuroo headcanon #tetsuro kuroo hc #tetsuro kuroo imagine #aoba johsai #aoba johsai x reader #aoba johsai headcanon #aoba johsai hc #aoba johsai imagine

[moth-based-cryptology]

HELLO BESTIE I am currently having Ralbert Brainrot and you're the best person go come to for this, obviously,, so PLEASE share! I would like to hear about ufc albert or youtuber race, or dancing partners!! I love them smm

HI YES HELLO USING THIS AS AN EXCUSE TO WRITE UFC FIGHTER AL PART 2 THANKS BABES

i just witnessed a literal crime and i’m Feeling The Rage (boxing judges at mma events can catch these hands) so here is. my brain on anger.

also the first half of this is pretty fight-talk heavy but the second half is more al/ralbert central so message me/send me an ask if i don’t explain something well enough <3

here is the ask i sent to @we-are-inevitable (thanks jac i’m in love with you mwah) and here is part 1 for this au if you haven’t read that one yet !!

also,,,,, this is fairly obvious. but trigger warning for violence/physical fighting, as well as blood. (it’s a rough gig y’all fjdhdb) oh and swearing but that’s pretty much just me LMAO

here i am, bein mad and writing ralbert. therapy time with chandler ig

OK SO

this is after his debut. duh. continuation

i think he’s probably 5 fights in with 5 wins. he’s been running people through, especially with four full camps after a short notice start, and he’s never even seen a decision in the ufc

let’s just say the hype train is moving FAST and it’s moving LOUD

everyone has to have those people that watch their fights just to see them lose, on top of the majority male fan base that have to have a little bit of toxic masculinity and homophobia in there

so there’s A LOT of people that are waiting for him and his hype train to get derailed. but there’s also a fair amount of fans, so you win some you lose some (the way i would die to see this be a real fighter pls)

now albert’s not always the most confident guy, and he’s never been cocky, but none of this shit gets to him. he’s got his coaches, he’s got his friends and he’s got race behind him. he knows he’s got the skills, and he’s got his support system, so who gives a shit what a bunch of cowards on the internet have to say?

and then they put him against someone known for his grappling and stamina. and the “it’s a wrap for dasilva!” bandwagon starts. it happens every time a rising striker and early knockout artist fights a well known grappler with any semblance of later round power (even if al has a background in wrestling and has gone 5 rounds and won outside of the ufc. it’s a bandwagon for a reason)

and it’s not Upsetting, it’s not really getting into his head in any way that’ll make him do worse, but it’s kinda pissing him off. which is bad for his opponent

the last person on earth you want to be fighting is an annoyed albert dasilva who thinks he has something to prove

he works his ass off in camp, and the press tour is a self-assured albert vs. a loudmouth who thinks he’s hot shit cause a few people on twitter think he’ll sweep

and, to be completely honest? it’s starting to look that way 2 rounds in.

it’s a 5 round fight, co-main event on a big card, and so far all al’s opponent has done is pinned him to the cage and kept him there. a few strikes worth anything - at least enough make al’s cheek bleed, no takedowns, which would at least give him some activity, and so submission attempts, so he can’t even gain any ground that way. he’s just- Stuck. and if THIS is how he loses, he’s gonna be pissed

the bell for the second round sounds, and you can actually see al’s chest heaving on camera as he walks to his corner - not because he’s tired or out of breath, but because he’s MAD, and fuck if he’s not going to do something about it

not only that, but he can not only see race and jack standing up by the cage - plus race’s expression, which is slightly annoyed and super anxious, which hurts his chest to think about - but he can hear them too

jack is yelling profanities, as per usual. he doesn’t that regardless of how the fight is going, but it’s less encouraging when you’re the one losing.

race though,,,, race isn’t really yelling, he’s more talking to himself than anything, but he’s close enough to cage and al knows him well enough to figure out what he’s saying. and if the muttered almost-prayers while he paces back and forth weren’t enough, the shiny gold engagement ring on race’s hand definitely is

round 3,,,, let’s just say it goes a little differently than the first 2 had gone.

he opens with a spinning back kick, of all fucking things, and that truly sets the pace

he’s the taller guy by a few inches, like usual, which makes his arms longer. the only reason crushing his against the cage worked is cause the guy he’s fighting cuts weight like a wrestler, so he’s easily got 20 pounds on albert come fight night

but once he finds his rhythm and starts throwing, he starts connecting too. he manages to stay out of range of his opponent and stay his comfortable distance to start t-ing off

this isn’t a one punch power ending. this isn’t a beautiful head kick, or a giant knee, or even just a clean right hook.

this is albert, who’s arms are starting to feel the 3rd round a little bit, hitting this guy with everything he has cause he refuses to lose this fight.

i mean- everyone watched him get up at the start of the round with a set jaw and a scary determined glint in his eye. he’s not a person you fuck with, and he’s definitely not a person you publicly ridicule before being locked in a cage to fight with

the guy he’s fighting is absolutely battered, but he manages to survive until round 4. the first of the championship rounds, something al’s never seen in a ufc fight before, and it feels like the arena is holding its breath

so when al comes out and does the same thing as round 3 to better results - fight ending results - everyone’s a little shocked, honestly

the commentary team’s in disbelief, cause albert is NOT a slow starter, regardless of what this fight would tell you, and the fact he managed a win at all, let alone such a phenomenal one, is fucking astounding

he gets his hand raised, obviously, but the really interesting part is the post fight interview

“albert, man, what changed between round 2 and 3? what second gear did you find?”

“bro, i just— it was pissing me off, honestly. i don’t come in here to get pinned down for 25 minutes. and, y’know, my team gave me good advice. i had all the pieces, straight from the jump, someone just had to force me to put them in place…”

and then he looks over at race, who gives al one of those half grin, half smirks and winks at him, and al just chuckles to himself and finishes answering the question

“the thing that really forced my hand is race. i won’t get cheesy on you, but watching someone who loves and supports you through everything panic cause he’s scared for you - it’s a big motivator. everyone would figure out a lot more of my motivations if they went and watched race’s expressions back instead of whatever the hell i’m doing in here. he’s always been the brains, i’m just the brawn.”

and that’s a better answer than anyone was expecting, plus he’s just had the fight of a lifetime that’s probably earned him a title shot, so he’s done soon after that and gets to have his little in-cage celebration

he hugs his team and jack, who razzes him a little bit as per usual, and makes some dumb quip about going over tapes later like he’s a coach. and then comes race

he hugs him, all tender and cute and also very sweaty cause That’s How It Works, and the camera’s focused on him, so they can tell they’re whispering back and forth. but there’s no mics on them, so what’s said is missed entirely on the audience, but it’s their usual cheesy, in love mess

“congrats, baby. i’m proud of you.”

“oh please. it was 90% you anyway. i meant what i said, it wasn’t just for the cameras.”

“i know that. i’m gonna have to get you back somehow for telling everyone to go back and watch my awful anxious expression. i’ll think of something.”

“i’m sure you will, sweetheart.”

and then al does that awful, adorable lil nose bump thing, and then kisses race. and then jack covers his eyes and whines until they stop like the actual 12 year old boy he is inside

and then they leave the octagon, race and al holding hands, and al throws his arm over jack’s shoulder and shoves his head down and pushes him, cause even though he was just in a literal cage match he’s still a roughhousing teenager at heart

and he’s got interviews and press shit that separates him from his people, and he’s gotta slide that bulletproof mask back down over all the happy and in love shit he’s feeling so he can not smile like an idiot on camera constantly

but every once in awhile he’ll catch jack giving him the finger and laugh before returning it below view of the camera

or he’ll catch race’s eye from where he’s standing behind all the studio lights and do a little wave under the camera and return the wink from earlier, and the unbothered fighter facade will crack a little bit

but he’s not completely convinced that’s such a bad thing

GOD THIS POST IS SO MUCH LONGER THEN I MEANT IT TO BE IM SORRY

but Yeah. Them.

i love this au a helleva lot more than i should but that’s Fine cause i’ve got thoughts for days on it

#newsies #livesies #never not read the tags #albert dasilva #ufc fighter al #mma fighter al #racetrack higgins #jack kelly #ralbert #spam ralbert gang #ralbert ralbert ralbert #chandler screams about ralbert #chandler out of context #chandler’s ✨losing it✨ #chandler.exe has stopped working #chandler’s an idiot sorry y’all #causing chaos with chandler #shut up chandler #nO #tw violence #tw fighting #tw blood #tw swearing

[straighttxhell]

I'M SORRY, I GOT THE HEAT, I GOTTA GO

–Britta Perry, 2010.

Reference added bc Britta said that to then impulsively go up on stage and scream that human kind didnt need to be governed and Im feeling that level of inspired and impulsive

AU IDEA

Okay what about a Popular Courtney au x Loner Duncan, like a complete loner, maybe has 2 friends but he's like that weird lonely guy who sits on the back of the class, troublemaker, got picked on in middleschool and is now hot but a mess and people are kinda scared of him but also don't wanna talk to him

And Courtney is this PERFECT girl, she's so nice and kind (at least most times), her hair is always moving like a shampoo comercial, she's president of every club, everyone wants to be her and wonder how the hell she manages to be so good at everything and fit it all in her very tight schedule, and she's very popular, sometimes she gets quite competitive and has a very tough attitude when needed so she has a few "enemies" like unfair teachers or classmates who got in her way but aside from that, everyone likes her or hates her bc theyre not her.

So they have to do an English Literature assignment in pairs and Courtney immediately raises her hand and asks if she could partner up with Duncan and the teacher immediately says yes because they hope she can rub off some of her positivity on him.

He is not happy about it but when he's about to complain the teacher is like "Work with her or I'll fail you".

It's the last class of the day so when the bell rings and everyone starts leaving, she goes up to his desk and he's like why the fuck did you do that? I don't know what kind of prank this is, or if you lost a bet but whatever it is, I'm not falling for it so find a way to do it alone,, And she's like, I got an A- on my last essay, the one analizing The Raven, I didn't understand why and the teacher said they used the best essay as a reference, graded it an A+ and went down from there (idk how to phrase it, it makes sense in spanish), making mine the second best, and I was shocked mine wasn't the first one, so I asked who got it and it was yours, And he's like "Oh, so you want to work with me to bump up your grades??" And she's like "No. I asked the teacher to give me your paper so I could read it." And hes just like ..??? And she adds "I loved it. Everything about that analysis was perfect, I photocopied it and I carry it in my bag, I don't want to work with you because I want you to bump up my grades, I want to work with you because what you did was amazing so stop being a jerk about it". He's quite impressed, he knows her admiration only came from her ego being hit but he still feels very flattered.

**I really dont know how your grading system works okay we use numbers here but I hope it makes sense bc I know most of my followers are americans.

He just swallows, turns around so he can't see him blushing and says "Fine, we'll work on it tomorrow" and she just smiles and starts to walk away but he calls her name when shes at the door about to leave and says thank you. She looks at him, he's all stupid and embarassed and she's kinda proud she made him feel that way lol, so she just smiles, says "No problem", turns around and leaves.

#popular x loner au

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Bank Shot Job

leverage 1.05

I decided I’m also going to start highlighting meta material in these posts for reference reasons (like for fics, headcanons, meta, etc)

I’m colorcoading by what character the meta pertains to btw

Clerk: Hello, Judge Roy.

Judge Roy: [slaps her ass] Hey, sweetheart.

Frank: Can I help you, your honor?

Judge Roy: Yes, Fred. Her phone number?

Frank: It's Frank. And she's 19, sir.

Judge Roy: That's too bad. She got a younger sister

diSgUsTiNG

- - - - -

Hardison: No. No more. We gotta talk to Nate. No more rip deals. They take too damn long.

Parker (ripping paper): That's why they're called "Rip Deals". You have to convince them they're getting a deal before you can rip them off.

Hardison: Two weeks. Two weeks sleeping in crappy hotels. Two weeks eating in crappy diners. Two weeks having my soul sucked dry. It's 107 degrees. Who lives where it's 107 degrees?

Parker: Juan's not so bad. I kinda like this town

I wanna see that domestic shit of them sharing hotel rooms and eating the continental breakfasts and dingy diners and everything about them living in rundown hotels for two weeks

- - - - -

Hardison: You know, I had to retask two satellites just to get a lousy internet connection. Took more than an hour to torrent the last episode of Doctor Who.

Parker: Hey! Illegal downloading's wrong. (lights paper on fire in trash can)

that’s it. that’s their relationship.

- - - - -

Hardison: How we coming on the breakdown?

Eliot (loading truck elsewhere): Fake addresses are shut down. Post office boxes are closed. The phones are cleared. Five more minutes, we never existed

bruh those props ??? I wish I had a screenshot but wtf where they DOING for the con ???

- - - - -

Hardison: Want me to call the Delgado family, tell them the news?

Eliot: Nah. Soon as I clear county line I want to do it. I just wish we could do more than bankrupt that corrupt son of a bitch

eliot is so good you guys im-

- - - - -

Nate: Get out. Now.

Hardison: Is he talking to us?

Parker: An unmarked van parked across the street from a bank that's being robbed? Yeah. I think he's talking to us.

Hardison: Yeah, well, five more feet and he would have been in the clear. What the hell was he thinking?

Parker: Don't be an idiot, Hardison.

Hardison: What?

Parker: Sophie was still in there

parker knows nate loves sophie and would never leave her behind because she may not always get people, but even she can see how much nate cares for sophie

- - - - -

Derrick: Everyone empty your pockets. Wallets, purses, watches, everything you've got, throw it over here.

(everyone throwing stuff to center of floor)

nate threw his fucking toothpick

- - - - -

Deputy Arnold: No, right here, right here, and we need ...

(Eliot crosses police line)

Deputy Arnold: Whoa, whoa, I need you to take a step back, sir.

Eliot: Tell me what's going on in there.

Deputy Arnold: I'm afraid I can't do that, this is an active crime scene, and you need to ...

Eliot: (to cop) I'm not talking to you. (to Nate) How many are there?

Nate: Yeah, you're right. Clearly amateurs, these two. Yeah. The younger one, looks like he's never handled a gun before.

Eliot: Is judge blow-hard next to you?

Nate: Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, definitely amateurs, That's what makes them so dangerous.

Eliot: Alright, 2 guys, both armed, neither one a criminal mastermind. You want me in there?

Deputy Arnold: Sir, we can't have you going inside the bank ...

Nate: Probably, uh, a good idea just to sit tight, don't you think? You know, and see where these guys' heads are

at, you know?

Eliot (backing away): Alright, your call boss.

Deputy Arnold: Thank you

poor deputy arnold + eliot being done with local law enforcement

- - - - -

Sophie: Okay. So what is the plan, Stan

“what’s the plan, stan” adorable.

- - - - -

(Eliot leans against a building across the street and watches Hardison and Parker pull up in a sedan)

Eliot: Nice ride.

Parker (taking notebook and removing badges): It's embarrassing. Everyone knows you don't rob a bank without an exit strategy. These two deserve to get caught. 42 seconds. (tosses notebook back to Eliot)

Hardison: What?

Parker: To rob this bank. One security guard who has never fired his gun before, 2 closed-circiut cameras outside, 1 inside, and a Glen-Reader safe built in the 50's whose default combination is the birth date of the manager's wife! Get in, get out, 42 seconds.

Hardison: Seriously

parker was so angry that she chucked the binder at eliot and he was like ??? we good ???

- - - - -

Hardison: Seriously? (to Bill) I'm Agent Leonard. This is Agent Elmore. We'll be taking over this crime scene,

Sheriff ...

Bill: Bill Hastings. Nice to meet you. You guys sure are quick, just called this in 20 minutes ago.

Hardison: Well, we were coming back from a little border skirmish. Patrol unit came under attack from a pack of Chupacabras.

Bill: Chupacabras? I thought those things were urban legend.

Hardison: You're adorable

I love it when hardison fucks with people it’s hilarious

- - - - -

Hardison: Whoa, what's going on?

Bill: Cut power to the bank. Standard operating procedure.

Hardison: Standard ... it's standard op ... it's standard? Where do you getting that bull-hockey from son?

Bill: Deputy Arnold, he took a seminar in crisis management last year.

Deputy Arnold: It was an online seminar. We got certificates.

Hardison: Certificates? Magic kits come with certificates. Does that make it cool for kids to saw their parents in half?

Bill: We're just going by the book.

Hardison: The ... the book? The book got a good man killed. I can't ... my blood pressure.

Parker: Ex-partner. Probably shouldn't mention the book again. Or propellers.

parker is doing so well with grifting considering and I’m so proud of her

- - - - -

Sophie: They are not cops, I promise you, they're friends of mine, you can trust them.

Derrick: Why should I trust you? I don't know who you are.

Sophie: I am a thief.

Derrick: Okay, I'm not sure what to do with that.

that’s it guys. that’s the show.

- - - - -

Nate: I didn't say it was going to be easy. But nothing's impossible, especially when you have the world's greatest thief on your payroll. Parker, have you ever robbed a bank that's being robbed?

Parker: There's a first time for everything.

her SMILE YOUR HONOR

- - - - -

Parker: The bank was built before 1980, before computers. Means it's got a larger than normal night deposit chute.

Hardison: 'Cause business had to drop off ledgers with their daily hauls. What, you thought my genius was only limited to ones and zeroes?

Parker: I'm thinking the chute's my way in. Only problem is, it's in the alley on this side of the building

the way she looks at hardison like damn boy you know my stuff

- - - - -

Hardison: I can take care of that, but, we actually have bigger problems.

Eliot: What's that?

Hardison: Well, Sheriff Coltrane over here called the FBI, the real FBI. Now the closes office is in San Diego, so they should be here, in about, um, give it 45 minutes.

Nate: We can't worry about that now.

Hardison: When do we worry about it?

Nate: In about 45 minutes

hardison, internally: lord give me strength

- - - - -

Hardison: Hold on ... Excuse me. (answers phone) Agent Leonard. We will do whatever you need us to do, just please, don't hurt anybody. Okay. (hangs up) Guys ... Boys, boys, come on, gather 'round. Now boys, that was THE call. The call we were waiting for. Now look, they have a list of demands. First off, they want 12 large pizzas. One cheese, one Hawaiian, extra pineapple. Two pepperoni and black olives, two meat lover's, t ... Seriously? Nobody's writing this down? Seriously? One triple-shot half-caf vanilla latte, tall,

(Parker goes down alley and opens deposit drop box)

Hardison: …three of the latest copies of the Hall and Oates CD. I know, right? Exciting stuff I didn't know they were coming out with a new one either. We're gonna need steaks. Steaks and a grill. They're trying to tailgate. Okay, they need your overalls, I don't know why. They need some kibbles n' bits, we need an Etch-A-Sketch, somebody in there likes to squiggle okay ... Are we good? Let's go people. Everybody. I need you guys moving. Everybody get out. Go. (hardison points at an officer) You stay. We need to talk about Hall & Oates.

I fucking loved this monologue,,, hardison is VERY GOOD at improvising

- - - - -

(Derrick opens night deposit box)

Parker: Hi.

Derrick (hands her the briefcase): There's a lot of money in there.

Parker: Yeah, I know.

Derrick: My wife's life depends on that money getting where it needs to go.

Parker: I understand. Sometimes bad guys are the only good guys you get

parker’s face softened and you can see that she understood. parker didn’t get people in the beginning of the show, and sure her values and ideas aren’t typical, but she was ALWAYS a good person. she cared and understood what was at risk and she consoled him.

also, this is yet another piece of evidence that parker was the main character all along!!! I’m not gonna go super into it because there are already posts out there about it, but she had three (3) episodes dedicated to her character in season one alone AND had her say what is basically the mission statement of the show here in this scene

- - - - -

Sophie: Things could be worse.

Nate: Worse than me getting shot and you blowing our cover?

Sophie: No, no, you're not gonna lay that crap on me. We wouldn't even be in this mess if you'd just walked out with the cash when you had the chance. I would've been fine.

Nate: I know.

Sophie: Yeah, I can take care of myself. I've been doing it a long time. Since way before I met you. I'm just saying.

Nate: Yeah, you're right.

Sophie: Okay

nate knows sophie is a strong independent woman and that is one of the only things I stan about him lol

- - - - -

Sophie: We lost communication.

Nate: Yeah, we did.

Sophie: Hardison, Parker, and Eliot ...

Nate: That's right, they are on their own. Yup.

they ended up doing great on their own, but also, can we acknowledge what a glow up it was building up to the rundown job ???

- - - - -

(Mom gets out of truck and tries to run)

Meth #2: Where the hell you think you're going, old lady? (pulls mom back) Where the hell you think you're g ...

Eliot (catches Meth #2’s arm): Hey, what smells like crank and screams like a girl? (Takes his gun and breaks his knee)

Meth #2: AAHH!

Eliot (kicks car door closed before Meth #3 can get out, empties the bullets from gun): That's the right answer. (throws gun into car at #3, hits #1 as he approaches) Come on. (fights #1, kicks door shut, beats #1 more, kicks door again) Stay in the car. (beats the hell out of #3 and #1, kneels down near mom and removes her gag)

Mom: Who are you?

Eliot: Well ma'am, we'd be the cavalry.

this entire fight scene always has me ROLLING it’s so funny

also I’m not sure if this should go on the List Of Non-Weapon Objects Eliot Uses As Weapons but eliot DID use the car door in the fight

- - - - -

Sophie: Just let the paramedics take him. The rest of us will stay.

Judge Roy: And give up my leverage

*sophie and nate look at each other*

both, internally: tHATS OUR WORD

- - - - -

Nate: Hey, listen. She's gonna be alright. Everything's gonna be alright

Derrick: Your people ... they're good?

Nate: Yeah. The best.

nate’s smile when he says that??? proud dad alert

- - - - -

Sophie (looking at replay of tape): You're still a geek.

Judge Roy: They're trying to ruin me.

Hardison: Geek power, baby. Stay strong!

in other words: age of the geek, baby

also- kudos to 2008 hardison editing video like that. I can’t do that shit with today’s tech lmao

- - - - -

Bill: Go home now. Bank robbers are in custody, hostages are safe. FBI's got the whole thing wrapped up.

Taggert: Do you have any idea what?

Mcsweeten: Just go with it.

Deputy Arnold: Mr. FBI guys, can you help me here?

Bill: My, my. Look at this. Our local drug boys, both with outstanding warrants. It's incredible.

Taggert: Damn, we're good!

mcsweeten and taggert stumbling onto the leverage crew’s cons and directly profiting off of them is iconic. they have no idea. too pure for this world

- - - - -

Sophie: Hey, thanks Parker.

Parker: Whatever.

Sophie: No. It was an excellent performance.

Parker: Yeah, I think I can act okay when I'm yelling at people and bossing them around.

Sophie: Well, it's a good start.

proud mom!sophie + grifting parker

Nate: Listen, we have to make sure we get the cash to the Delgado family. Ow!

Eliot (tending Nate’s wound): Oh! Settle down. You act like you've never been shot before.

Nate (glances at Sophie): So, uh, pizza boxes, huh?

Hardison: Yeah, I know, I know, You could have done better.

Nate: No, no, no. No I couldn't have.

eliot casually stitching up nate’s wound bc no hospitals but also can we talk about how much nate has to trust eliot to literally operate on him

+

nate giving praise to hardison ??? rare af I don’t know her

#leverage #the bank shot job #leverage 1.05 #leverage 1x05 #mine #notable moments #leverage season 1 #season 1

[thiccpettybitch]

Made For Loving You Baby

Here is my Porter Gage/Fem! Sole Survivor Fic. If im gonna be honest this is one of (if not THE) fic i am most proud of? It just kinda...worked out so well atleast so far lol. So here is chapter one, if you wanna read the rest you know what to do! AO3 

(like always most if not all of my stories are 18+ everything from sexual content to gore, murder blood and everything inbetween, if you’re not comfy with it i’d suggest you stay away. If you are more interested in what the tags are click the link above) 

’’What. The. Fuck’’

’’Boss?! Ya’ mind knocking?!’’

‘’Not if it’s my own fucking quarters’’

‘’Right, Shit, I’m sorry Boss’’

‘’Boss? You taking orders from some kid now Gage?’’

‘’It ain’t like that’’

‘’The fuck you just say?’’

‘’Woah! Boss relax she didn’t mean nothing by it’’

‘’The hell I didn’t’’

‘’Take your chem whore and get the fuck out Gage!’’

‘’Jealous bitch?’’

‘’Jenni don’t-‘’

‘’You know what? Just fucking stay. I’m outta here’’

‘’Boss wait! Fuck…’’

Gage scrambled for his pants and almost tripped over his own feet as he tried his best to pull them up and walk at the same time.

‘’Gage what the hell? You’re just gonna leave me here?!’’

‘’J- just grab your shit n’ meet me at the bar. I gotta fix this’’

It took what felt like an eternity before the damn elevator finally arrived and he was able to get in it. She was already half through the park, he knew it. He had seen how fast she could storm off if she was pissed off enough and this time she was just about ready to kill someone… more than usual that is.

His heart was pumping wildly in his chest and for the first time since all that bullshit with Connor he was scared. Sure Colter had been fucking crazy when he got pissed off, killing and hurting anyone or anything that got in his way but things were different with-

It hit him like a fucking brick wall, he didn’t know what to call her besides Boss, he never even took the fucking time to ask something as simple as that and now she was mad as hell roaming either Nuka World or heading back to the commonwealth. He couldn’t let her turn out like Colter but have her just skip out wasn’t an option either, he had to find her – fast.

The elevator stopped and he rushed out half running hoping that she’d end up just standing outside having a smoke or bashing some Disciples head in for staring at her ass. His gut twisted when she was nowhere to be found, he had to figure out just where the hell she would have gone and that was fast.

‘’Hey Gage’’

Gage – startled to all hell – turned around to see Savoy lighting a cigarette and blowing out smoke towards the sky.

‘’Savoy’’

Gage greeted, it wasn’t a secret that the Boss wasn’t a fan of the Disciples (considering the fact that she could be quite brutal and had a…thing for knifes and blades) it was a bit of a surprise. What was even more surprising though was the fact that she got rather well along with Savoy – to put it simply Gage didn’t like it. He never knew what was going on inside that guys head and trying to read it from his expression was a waste of time even when he wasn’t wearing that ridiculous mask.

‘’You lookin’ for OB?’’

‘’Yeah, you seen her?’’

He took another drag of his cigarette before exhaling the smoke away from Gages face like he was considering if he should tell him or not.

‘’Yeah, I saw her. She was heading towards that old gas station, pissed as hell too. What did you do?’’

Gage wanted to snap at him for just assuming it was him but seeing as it actually was he just sighed.

‘’Brought a guest up to her quarters, got a bit. . . carried away’’

Savoy snorted and choked on some smoke.

‘’Yeah, if I caught you in my bed with your pants around your ankles I’d be mad too, would probably just kill you though so you might want to look out’’

‘’Yeah well she ain’t some blood thirsty savage’’

‘’If you say so. You better hurry up before she actually decides to go after you’’

‘’Ya, thanks for the help.’’

--

Gage stopped in front of the old Red Rocket station his hand hovering in front of the door, he had to give her props she knew what she was doing. The entire station had been secured with Turrets and a huge fence surrounding the entire station. She had built a foundation on the roof and another floor with a bedroom and more. Although the three gangs had helped build the place it was hers and they knew not to invade her privacy.

Gage didn’t know what to expect, last person who just barged in had ended up with a broken arm and pissed himself when she had pulled out her blade. And she hadn’t even been mad at the time just asserting her dominance. At least that’s what Mason had called it.

She wasn’t ever mean to Gage if anything she was nicer to him than anyone else, he saw her as a friend sure but was often reminded that no matter age or height she was the Over Boss and wasn’t afraid to show it. She was just never mean or hostile towards him.

‘’Fuck it’’

He mumbled and slid the door open, he waited a second to see if she would have been there to greet him with a knee to the gut but she was nowhere to be found. He closed the door behind him and headed for the upstairs ‘’bedroom’’ and sure enough she was sitting at her desk staring at a cigarette box.

‘’Hey Boss… You okay?’’

No answer.

‘’You worried me there, thought ya’ might have just skipped out on us – headed back to the commonwealth’’  

No answer.

‘’Shit… Boss I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t hav-‘’

‘’You could do better’’

Gage was taken a back and had to convince himself he had actually just heard her say that.

‘’Ain’t like I’m planning on settling down with her or anything we were just fucking’’

‘’In my bed.’’

‘’Now come on Boss, how many times I gotta tell ya’ I’m sorry?’’

He sighed and sat down on a couch in front of the bed. How she managed to get such a clean mattress he’d never know.

‘’What’s this all about Boss?’’

‘’You fucking in my bed’’

‘’I ain’t talking about that! How come you ain’t yelling at me, throwing shit hell I’ve seen you snap at people for just staring at ya’ for too long’’

‘’Your point?’’

‘’Where is the anger? Why is it never directed towards me?’’

She went quiet again reaching for the box of cigarettes and pulling one out, she placed it in between her lips and turned to him. Gage couldn’t help but chuckle she never brought her own lighter. He got up and walked up to her flipping out his lighter and placing it in front of her.

‘’Would you believe me if I said I respect you?’’

‘’No’’

He grinned and she just rolled her eyes taking a drag from the stick in between her lips.

‘’What If I told you I can relate to you’’

She held up the box and he pulled out his own cigarette lighting it and taking a drag himself.

‘’How so?’’

‘’A lot of ways. I Hate being the center of attention, always has. Hate how easily i get attached… I trust people and they end up stabbing me in the back’’

‘’Ya, people don’t often deserve trust’’

‘’No I’m serious the bastard actually stabbed me before he ran out with a bag full of my caps and my finest Bourbon’’

He snorted and shook his head, he missed that one-sided smile she had.

‘’I trust you.’’

He stopped smiling and looked up at her, her tone had changed and she was staring at him now all amusement wiped off her face.

‘’I- uh… Trust ya’ too Boss-‘’

‘’Don’t- don’t say it unless you mean it Gage. I just wanted you to know that I know what it feels like, and that I really do trust you’’

She took a last drag before she put it out and exhaled the smoke through her nose.

‘’No need for an answer now or ever i-‘’

‘’I trust ya’ Boss. I really do’’

She looked him in the eyes again and smiled, her eyes looking strangely beautiful in the dim light.

‘’Now can we be done with all this emotional shit?’’

Gage laughed nervously, truth be told he did find her beautiful, her eyes her hair her skin, everything. He remembers the time he had to help her clean a gash on her cheek and he got to slide his thumb over her cheek.

God damn if that wasn’t the smoothest skin he’d ever felt under his fingers, he was no stranger to women or the way their skin felt under his touch but never had he felt such warm and smooth skin. Weird as hell that he was even thinking about this shit.

‘’Gage how fucking long has it been for you’’

‘’I- What?’’

‘’You can’t sit quietly for a few minutes before you’re all flustered’’

‘’I ain’t thinking about fuckin’ Boss!’’

‘’Mhm… You should get back to that lovely old lady before she runs off’’

‘’I only paid for an hour anyways’’

‘’Jesus H Christ Gage you paid for her old ass?!’’

He groaned loudly with a look of defeat across his face, yup she was back to normal.

#fallout #fallout 4 #porter gage #Companion #sole survivor #female sole survivor #fanfic #ao3

[arcadianstuff]

School rivals p.t 2

Thought I’d make a part two. Also I’m sort of making up as I go plot-wise but it kinda ties into the show. Hope u don’t mind.

After (y/n) plays a soccer match at Arcadia Oaks Academy, her schools rival, gumm-gumms attack and she gets caught in the crossfire. The person who come how her aid is the one she’d least expect.

——————

“Give me an A ! Give me an R give me a C....give me and adia !” Attempting time rouse you supper from the crowd watching your soccer team, Cosch Lawrence yelled into a speakerphone. To say his cheering was sub par would be an understatement.

The students, parents and teachers spectating gave up on following along with his chanting and instead turned their attention on the match.

Up in the top row, Jim, Claire and Toby were cheering you on, shouting supportive messages and jumping up to celebrate when you scored a goal.

On the field you were panting and sweating with exhaustion at the effort of playing. To say you were trying your best would be an understatement. This match had you fired up for multiple reasons. For one you hated Arcadia Okas Academy; there was war between your two schools and you were determined to win. Secondly, you could quite clearly see a certain punk rock kid sitting in the bleachers, who had been staring at you for the entire game.

It gave you a weird feeling in your stomach which you mistook for anger. You weren’t entirely wrong, it did make you angry but also something else. Unbeknownst to you, Douxie wasn’t just staring at you to annoy you, although that was definitely part of the reason. He was also captivated by the way you played, the determination on your face and the way you encourage your teammates. It reminded him a lot of King Arthur before Gwenwviere had passed away.

“Half time !” Loudly and with a blow of her whistle the referee announced it was half time.

You looked up at the scoreboard and weren’t too pleased to see it was a tie. You had twenty minutes of the match left. Only twenty minutes left to win.

“Okay guys weve only got twenty minutes left to break this tie. I know we can do this. It’s our first game this season against Arcadia Oaks Academy. We’ve gotta our then in their place !” Your encouraging speech did it’s job, hyping up your teammates and boosting their confidence.

The girls yelled and whooped before dispensing and running back onto the field. Aja, a new foreign exchange student hung back and tapped you on the shoulder.

“I wanted to say thanks (y/n) for suggesting I join the team. The game of soccer is very lively !” She thanked you excitedly before rushing into the field to join the other girls.

You smiled at her excitement and the way she’d started to bond with the other girls on the team. When you’d wondered pass the gymnasium one day and saw her doing gym you knew she would make a great addition to the team. Maybe she’d even become team captain after you left. She was a natural leader.

The other team were staring daggers at you, as they joined you on the field. Just before you left to rejoin them you noticed that the seat you’d saved for your mum was empty; it wasn’t unexpected but still disappointing. She was busy, her job as a docotor basically consumed her life. It was noble, and you were so proud of her, but sometimes you wished she had more time for you - especially Jim. However you knew she was doing her best.

At least Jim was there and Toby and Claire, Toby was basically family; you’d known him since he was five and he felt like a younger brother to you. Whilst Claire was a new addition, you saw how happy she made Jim and you found that you and the pretty girl had a lot in common. For one Mama Skull. The three of them waved down to you, which you returned quickly before running back onto the field.

Your eyes flared with something fierce as adrenaline flooded your veins.

‘Let’s do this.’

—————————————

You won.

With only a minute left Aja had passed the ball to you which you’d just managed to scrape into the goal. And with the final goal scored the crowd had roared, your school cheering with such vigor you were pretty sure the bleachers had shook.

Whilst high fiving your teammates and exchanging hugs Toby, Claire and Jim had rushed down to congratulate you, forming a group hug as Toby and Jim attempted to lift you up on their shoulders. It didn’t go well but they tried.

As people chattered excitedly around you on the soccer field, you watched as the team from Arcadia Oaks Academy sulked off the field, heads down in defeat. A small smirk made its way across your features. Winning was sort of your thing and you didn’t take failure well.

Douxie, who’d secretly cheered when you’d scored the winning goal, hung around beside the bleachers. For some reason he didn’t want to leave just yet. Sure he wasn’t really into sports, and had never watched a school soccer match before, but when he found out you were playing he felt compelled to watch. Maybe he wanted another chance to annoy you or maybe he just wanted to see you again.

Although you were excited, riding on the high of your recent victory, something felt off. There was an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach again, and as you turned around your saw the cause of it. Douxie Casperan watched as your eyes focused on him, bewilderment filling them. For a second you just stared at each other, no hostility, no glares, just mutual curiosity.

Then something that had never happened before occurred. You smiled at each other. Douxie mouthed ‘well done’ and you actually mouthed ‘thank you’ in return, before he turned around and retreated into his school.

Was it the end of the world ? Quite probably. Or you could just have been really happy about your win, especially as team captain....also a little bit because Douxie had been watching you the entire time.

——————————

Darkness started to creep across Arcadia as the sun descended over the horizon, casting a navy blue light over everything. The lamp posts surrounding the field had turned on to provide some light, by the time you had come out of the changing room. As the other girls left, saying goodbyes and a few last congratulations you hung around looking for Jim, who you were supposed to be giving a lift back home.

Whilst he may have a Vespa, your motorcycle was definitely envied by your younger brother - who had been officially banned from ever owning one. Your mum said she couldn’t handle it if both her children had one. And you were a much better driver.

“Jim ?” You called out into the seemingly empty field, your voice echoing across the darkness.

Although the pitch did look creepy at this hour you were far too annoyed at your younger brother, for not waiting where you told him to, to notice. After a long gruelling game you just wanted to go home, shower and snuggle into your bed and drift off thinking about Dou-

Hold up. No. No. You practically smacked your head as you nearly finished that thought. A feeling of disgust overcame you at the prospect of daydreaming about Douxie. Again your stomach started feeling weird and you blamed it on how gross you found Douxie.

‘Annoying, sarcastic, snarky, irritating, did you mention annoying, Douxie. Punk emo kid who thinks he’s so cool with his skull necklace and look at me Im so mysterious’ caught up in your angry thoughts you didn’t notice the way the ground had started to shake ever so slightly, foretelling of the advancing army of gumm- gums that were approaching you.

The gumm- gums had strict orders: capture the human troll hunter’s older sister and take her as a hostage. They planned to use you as a ransom, your life spared in return for Jim’s.

Then under the bright white light of the lamp posts surrounding the pitch, they appeared. A quiet gasp left your mouth as you froze at the sight of five massive hulking creatures emerging from the shadows. A scream tried to leave your mouth, your legs ached to run but your fear froze you to the spot.

‘W-what are those ?’ You thought as you stared petrified at the stony bulky monsters, who’s skin appeared as black as the night, outlined with glowing green lines like veins. But it was their eyes, or what you guessed were their eyes, that chilled you. They flowed with a green fire that seemed to burn you on the spot, empty of remorse or emotion.

You were going to die if you didn’t move and yet you couldn’t do it.

Without warning they charged, bounding across the field and reaching you within seconds, not giving you a chance to try and dodge the axe of one of them that quickly descended upon you.

You caught the eye of your reflection in the dulled metal; you looked terrified, for the first time in your life you were truly terrified and it would be your last.

“I don’t think so.”

The next thing you knew you were hurtling to the side, falling and rolling across the grass. A groan left you form the pain of the impact. Wait you felt pain. You weren’t dead. Somehow you weren’t dead.

And the answer to why you weren’t happened to be standing in front of you, panting heavily. Douxie Casperan had saved your life.

“Doux-“ you started only to be quickly interrupted as the boy started pushing you away, eyes glancing feverishly behind him at the oncoming monsters.

“No. (Y/n) you need to get out of here. Run as fast as you can back home, and get Jim.” It scared you to see the serious look in his eye, so foreign compared to the sarcastic and snarky Douxie you knew.

“What ? No Im not going to leave you ! And why would I get him ?! Also what are those !!!” You started screaming and rambling, fear setting in as you started to hyperventilate and shake. It felt like the ground was spinning.

Terrified now for your safety, Douxie gave you one last shove, growling at you when he spoke:

“For once (Y/n) listen to somebody else ! Go ! Now !” His voice was like ice, a sharp knife that stabbed you with it’s force.

Before you knew it you were running, sprinting for your life as you leapt across the field, away from the monsters you couldn’t explain and the boy who’d saved you.

Tears were welling in the corners of your eyes from fear and stress. Terrified of what you’d see, you hesitantly turned around while you were running, just to have a quick peak.

What you saw next was somehow weirder than anything else you’d seen so far this evening.

Blue currents of energy were swirling around Douxie as he started yelling a strange incarnation and drawing symbols out of thin air. The monsters went flying back and Douxie advanced on them. He was fighting them. And it looked like he knew how to.

‘What is going on ?....’

Your thoughts raced as you sprinted across town, shops and houses passing you in a blur as you neared your house.

Thank god for all that soccer and training because you were fast.

With a crash you battled through your door screaming.

“Jim ! Jim !! Help.” Your screechs were met with worried yells from your brother, who rushed into the hallway followed by Claire and Toby.

‘Why were they here ? Why was Jim here ? You were suposed to have given him a lift home...’ your thoughts were pushed aside as worry for Douxie overcame you.

“It’s Douxie... h-he said to come get you..he’s in trouble t-there’s m-monsters...soccer field...hurrry !!” Your screams and crying drew the attention of two it her house guests in the kitchen, who decided it would be a good idea to come check it out.

Blinky and Aaaargh were surprised to see master Jim’s sister in such a state, but not surprised when she saw them, froze, screeched and then fainted. It was quite similar to how your mum had reacted upon fist meeting them. Humans were very dramatic creatures.

“Well I think that could have gone worse.” Trying to keep things positive Blinky pointed out, not reading the tension in the room.

“Okay guys we need to go to the soccer pitch now. Aaarrghh, Blinky Douxie needs our help.” Now serious Jim addressed the his friends, eyeing you with worry.

With nods of understanding the troll hunters suited up, weapons at the ready.

“For the glory of Merlín daylight is mine to command!” With Jim now ready they sped out of the door, Claire already having portales to the field using her Shadow Staff.

“What about your sister Master Jim ?” Blink year last second question caused the young troll hunter to stop.

He eyed your form with worry but knew you’d wake up soon and it would all be fine.

“She’s not part of this. She’ll be safe here, nobody’s after her.” Jim’s answer was logical enough for Blinky. Without turning around they rushed out of the house after Arrrgh and Toby.

If only they’d turned around, because if they had they’d have seen that you’d disappeared.

——————

Part 3 ??? Hope u liked it !

#douxie x reader #douxie #trollhunters #tales of arcadia #toa #toa douxie #toa wizards #troll hunters