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#but i kinda like books that answer one question
doctor-dusk · 3 days
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𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐤 | 𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐱 𝐭.
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mr. turner (the car!alex) offers you a ride home on a rainy day. could you turn down an offer from your favorite teacher? 
warnings: almost none, age gap, just a bit of angst, most fluff actually.
word count: 3.9k
kinda into prof!al for so long but i only managed to write something now. maybe there's a part 2 (with smut included), idk.
this was wrong. he knew that.
but was it so wrong?
he asked himself that every time he looked at you, sitting in your usual spot in the classroom, second chair in the second row, from left to right.
quiet girl, shy, intelligent, deer eyes that discreetly followed him when he explained the content as he walked around the room, always making a point of passing close to your row, just to be able to delude himself with the sensation of feeling your body close to his. 
if he was lucky, he could also smell the faint perfume you exhale dissipating due to the air conditioning. vanilla scent, to be more specific.
you were his favourite girl. secretly, of course. so secretly that you didn't even know that.
little did he know that he’s your favourite teacher. but just like him, you were also discreet. 
you avoid looking at him for too long, afraid of looking like a psychopath, or worse, that he would look back at you, something that happened sometimes.
but, oh, when he looks back at you... simply the best three seconds of your life.
you made him feel strangely uncomfortable. not that it's in a bad way. it was a ‘’good uncomfortable’’, if he can put it that way. 
he liked the way your voice sounded, feeling like a warm breeze in a cold day. he wanted to be able to talk to you more, answer something other than a simple question that you occasionally asked him during class. the most you say outside the classroom is ''see you next class'' along with a polite smile.
but again, reality comes weighing like a ton. you were his student. his sweet little student.
this was so wrong. but he couldn’t help it. his eyes fell on you more than he would have liked, as if you were a magnet. to your face, your neck, your chest, always with a minimum of cleavage that was almost always covered with your coat. to your hands, always busy holding a pen, writing tireless and useless notes in your notebook.
he wondered what your delicate hands could do besides write so much. 
on this particular morning, it was raining. like, a lot. you specifically loved rainy mornings when you didn’t have to go to campus, which unfortunately was not the case.
and now, you were stuck in there at one of the exits, watching the rain fall like a deluge, hoping that it would give you a minimal break so that you could at least get to the bus stop without getting all wet.
you looked at the time on your phone. it wasn't that you were in a hurry to get to your apartment, just the idea of staying there on campus didn't please you as you wish.
if only you were taking a class with mr. turner right now… yeah, the whole world could fall apart out there as long as you could be near him. his voice sounding like a shooting balm, his firm hand holding the book while the other hand was hidden inside the front pocket of his pants. you paid attention to all these details just so you could replay it like a movie in your head.
especially before bed.
oh, if mr. turner only knew what you thought about him in the dead of night…
‘’y/n?’’ you were startled by the sound of that familiar voice urging you from behind, and you hoped you weren't too pale when you turned to look at him. were your thoughts too loud?
‘’h-hi, mr. turner.’’ you forced an embarrassed smile, rubbing your arms awkwardly. ‘’what are you doing here?’’
‘’well, i… work here.’’ he chuckled weakly, hoping he didn't sound too rude, and you felt dumb for asking such a stupid question. ''waiting for the rain to stop?'' he asked, looking away from you and looking at the surroundings.
‘’yea, stupid rain.’’ you grumbled, looking around too, giving him the opportunity to look at you. as always, you were breathtaking. 
he thought for a moment before opening his mouth again. should he risk it? well, he could, but he was afraid you would refuse, and worse, end up moving away.
but he had a good excuse. it was raining a lot. it wasn't an stupid rain after all.
''can i... i mean, would you like a ride home?'' he asked after clearing his throat. he had smoked a few minutes ago, so his throat was warm and his voice was a little hoarse.
‘’oh, it's very kind, but there's no need to bother.’’ you said politely, your heart beating like a drum, your palms sweating a lot as you clasped your hands in your arms discreetly. 
‘’not a bother, miss. they said on the news that the rain is not expected to stop, you can stay ‘ere all day.’’ he responded, his mind worked quickly to come up with a convincing lie for you to accept. he didn't even watch the news today. 
you squeezed your arms tighter. you really want to accept it, but what if someone sees you getting into his car? god, you didn't even want to imagine.
‘’listen, 's okay if you don't want to, i just…’’ he said when he noticed your hesitation, looking away for a brief second. did he fuck up? ‘’just tried to help, i know what it's like to have to go home while it's raining a lot like it is now. besides, no one's gonna see us.’’
the last last sentence caught your attention, and ironically, it was what made you calm down. it was raining, what harm would it do if you accepted a ride from your teacher?
you nodded, accepting his offer. he gave a small smile, his fist clenched around the handle of his briefcase, trying to dissipate his excitement. 
you let him lead the way. luckily, he had an umbrella. a small one, not that you’re complaining. this gave you legitimacy to stand closer to him so that the umbrella could protect you both. 
‘’ready?’’ he asked you, opening the umbrella, holding it by the cold metal handle while the other hand held the briefcase. you nodded, getting closer to him so you could follow his lead when you two finally stepped out. 
the cold splashes of water hit your bare legs as you took a short run to the parking lot, dodging the puddles of water along the way and the wind ruffled your hair almost violently.
but nothing gave you goosebumps more than feeling his arm go over your shoulders to bring you closer, careful not to hit you with the briefcase he was holding. he didn't give a fuck if the briefcase was left unprotected and with rain falling down on it, as long as you were protected under his wing, everything was fine.
you stopped next to his car, he was cursing under his breath for forgetting to take the car keys out of his pocket before leaving with you. you held the handle of the umbrella so he could have his hand free to reach inside his pocket and pull out his car keys.
‘’thanks.’’ he muttered, disabling the car alarm. he smelled so good. a good smell of sandalwood, cedar, coffee and cigarettes. better than you have imagined. ‘’get in, ‘s fucking freezing here.’’ he said after opening the passenger door for you to get in, holding the umbrella again so you could get in.
he closed the door before you get in, running around the car to get to the driver's door, opening it quickly, closing the umbrella and throwing it on the backseat along with his briefcase. he didn't care if it was going to get the whole bench wet, he could deal with that later.
‘’oh, god, it feels like a flood, huh?’’ he chuckled, looking at you for a moment, noticing that you’re shaking. like he said, it was fucking freezing. ‘’oh, sorry, let me just…’’ he said, quickly starting the car so he could turn on the heater. ‘’there, better?’’ 
‘’yes, thank you, mr. turner.’’ you smiled at him, feeling your body getting warmer as the heater was doing its work. he smiled back, running his hand through his damp hair, putting on his seat belt and you repeated the act so that you could get out of there.
the heater managed to keep you warm, which was great. you could say that the car seat is more comfortable than your bed, you could easily sleep here, and the smell of his perfume permeating the car made you take a few deep breaths, your lungs almost exploded with ecstasy. 
you could spend hours describing how you’re looking at the car the whole time, but you would be lying, because you were definitely looking at your teacher next to you, driving attentively, with his hard expression intact, changing only when he pressed his lips together, forming a thin line. his damp hair gave him a sexier touch than usual, his wide-open brown eyes, even though they weren't looking at you, remained enigmatic.
everything he did seemed mesmerizing. the way he operated the car with one hand, looking at the mirrors, or when he changed gears, or when he simply turned on the windshield wipers.
what a handsome man. 
‘’i forgot to ask you where your house is.’’ he said, taking you out of your daydreams and you widened your eyes slightly, soon laughing softly.
‘’yeah, i forgot to mention that too.’’ you said. ‘’do you know belvedere? the neighborhood, i say.’’
‘’oh yeah, i used to go to a pub nearby when i was younger, good days.’’ he nodded, knowing the way. 
you wondered if it would be polite to ask his age. he didn't look that old. he wasn't, actually. but for you, socially, he was old. not that you would care. 
‘’those days are over?’’ you asked, trying to continue the topic respectfully with him, not wanting to sound desperate to talk to him. but oh, you wanted so badly to keep talking to him.
‘’yeah, i think so. when you're a teacher you don't have a lot of time and energy for this kind of thing anymore.’’ he replied, scratching his chin a little, keeping his eyes on the road, eventually glancing at you. ‘’i can barely stay awake until 2am.’’
you laughed respectfully. but you could laugh without respect too, he didn't care as long as he could hear the sound of your laugh and see your cheeks blush.
‘’if it's any consolation, i also can't go past 2am without ending up asleep.’’ you said, being honest. despite being young, you had a tiring routine, you didn't have the time or inclination to go to parties and stay up until the sun came up. 
‘’two old souls, i suppose.’’ he chuckled and you followed suit. you felt good with him, he made you feel comfortable. and strangely needy.
no wonder he was your favourite teacher.
unfortunately, the ride lasted less than you wanted. you only had to indicate a few streets for him to stop in front of the building where you lived. a small building, which was certainly perfect for single people or couples.
''there you go.'' he said, forcing a smile. he wished to spend more time with you, how he wished…
‘’thank you, mr. turner.'' you said, taking off your seat belt, placing your hand on the door handle to open it, the rain was light now, just little sprinkles of water falling. 
well, you should be more grateful for the ride, shouldn't you? just a small act. 
‘’uhm… would you like a cup of tea?’’ you asked shyly.
he had never felt his heart beat as fast as it did now. so fucking fast that he took a while to respond. he doesn't even like tea, but he would never pass up the opportunity to spend more time with you.
‘’yeah, sounds great, if it's not a bother.’’ he answered shortly, paying attention to your face to see if you would change your mind. it was not politically correct in the eyes of society to invite a teacher to have tea in your apartment, both of you knew it.
and as always, you didn't give a fuck.
soon enough, you were unlocking the front door of your apartment, your teacher right behind you, at a considerable distance, even though all he wanted most was to hug you from behind, feel your curves under your dress to know if your body is as warm and soft as he imagines.
you led the way, turning on the lights wherever you passed, opening the door wider so he could enter. your apartment was small, as expected, but it was tidy and cozy. 
‘’just like you,’’ that's what he thought.
he made himself comfortable there while you were in the kitchen. he had no tea preference, he would take whatever you offered him. he looked around a little more, paying attention to every detail of the living room and hallway that led to the bedrooms and bathroom.
the dim lights made the space more cozy and warm, the small plants in the window brought a little more color to the living room, and of course, the books along with the picture frames on the small shelf near the tv were what caught his attention the most. small books of the most diverse genres, but of course literature was what most prevailed, including foreign literature.
he swept his eyes over the photos in the frames. always you, an older woman and a younger girl. he assumed it would be your mother and your younger sister. oh, there was a dog too. such a cute poodle.
it was just normal family photos. except for the absence of a man. not that he thought he should have, he didn't know anything about you at that point, but he couldn't help but think: did you have a father?
why wasn't he in the photos? is that all that you had? your mother, your sister and a dog? 
and then, suddenly, he started to wonder if it was possibly worth risking all of this.
‘’sugar?’’ your voice sounded behind him, making him blink his eyes and look away, his hands hidden in his pants pockets reaching out to grab the cup of warm tea.
‘’thanks.’’ he muttered. 
‘’no, i… asked if you like some sugar on yours.’’ you gestured and he shook his head, taking a sip. lemon balm flavored, a true natural calming agent. you noticed he seemed a little uneasy, but you didn't want to ask him. 
‘’it’s a… cute dog, actually.’’ he said, pointing to the picture with his thumb. you gave a warm smile.
‘’yeah, he was.’’ you agreed, siping your tea. was. so, the dog died. he felt sorry for you, but before he could say something, you pointed to the small couch. ‘’would you like to sit?’’
he sat on the couch after you. the sofa was a two-seater, so it was impossible not to end up leaning against each other, his shoulders pressing against yours gently.
you felt nervous, the silence wasn't embarrassing, but it wasn't very pleasant either. your legs were bent while your hands cupped the cup of tea perfectly. you looked at him in silence, seeing that he was already looking at you long before that, taking note of every single expression on your face.
‘’are you nervous? i can leave if you want.’’ he broke the silence, sounding genuinely concerned that you were feeling insecure or uncomfortable in his presence. that was the last thing he would want to make you feel.
‘’no, i'm just…’’ you said, shaking your head and watching him leave the cup of tea on the coffee table in front of you. but you couldn't lie. and even if you did, he wouldn't believe it. ‘’yeah, i'm nervous. i never... brought a professor here and... i don't know, i'm not used to it.’’
‘’it's ok, darling. i’ve also never been to a student's house before.’’ he sounded honest in his response, wanting you to feel comfortable but not wanting to force you into it. you took another sip of the tea, the hot liquid running smoothly down your throat before you set your cup down next to his. ‘’but i can still leave if you want.’’
‘’i wouldn't have invited you to come if i didn't want you to stay.’’ you replied, summoning all your courage to say it without stuttering, looking at him. a weak smile appeared on his lips, and he felt safe reaching for your left hand that was resting in your lap.
you didn't refuse his touch, your hand rested in his open palm, showing the difference in size between you. his thumb brushed over your skin, making you slightly open your hand, feeling more of the contact between his calloused fingers and yours. your hand was more delicate and soft, the way he always imagined. 
your head felt full and your heart beat faster, but you tried not to tremble, enjoying this touch and the way your palms rubbed gently. 
‘’do you play the guitar?’’ you asked, breaking the silence. he nodded, too distracted by the touch of your hand, but not so much that he doesn't hear you.
‘’i take a little risk. can't say that i'm a professional though.’’ he shrugged softly. you smiled, imagining what it would be like to see him play his guitar. does he play standing up? seated? lying in his bed? does he like to play more elaborate riffs? or something more peaceful and soothing? 
‘’it would be nice to hear you play one day.’’ you commented, and he smiled at the idea. oh, he would love to play for you.
‘’yeah, sounds great. we can go to my place any day, i can play you some tunes.’’ he said. so, was he considering taking you to his flat one day? he gave a crooked smile. ‘’if you like, of course.’’
‘’i would love to.’’ you spoke softly, feeling more comfortable around him, your hand still on top of his. ‘’but... wouldn't there be anyone at home waiting for you?’’
nice shot. it was a good move to ask that. at least you would know if he had someone in his life. you would feel like crap if the answer was yes.
‘’no. i used to have, to be honest.’’ he replied, at the same time you felt a weight being lifted off your shoulders, you couldn't be too relieved about it the way he spoke. ‘’but it's in the past, she's no longer part of my life and i couldn't be more relieved than that.’’
you didn't have many details about mr. turner’s romantic life, and that was as close as you could get. the only information you had was that he was divorced. the reason? well, you wouldn't dare to ask. at least not now. you were content to know that at least now, he wasn't with anyone.
you gave a small smile, your hand squeezing his for a short moment before you before you carefully approached, laying your head on his shoulder, hoping he wouldn't push you away. and he didn't. he relaxed his tense shoulders, wanting you to be more comfortable. his arm went around you, the same way he did to pull you closer to protect you from the rain, but his hand fell a little further, resting on your side. he felt warmer inside.
you kept your head still, your eyes open and your breathing was shaky because you were still nervous, and he did everything he could to make you more comfortable. after all, you had the initiative. the fingers of his other hand ghosted over your face, brushing the strands of hair from your face, loving how silky they were and had a soft watermelon scent.
‘’you smell good.’’ he whispered, complimenting you in a sweet way, trying not to overwhelm you or make it worse. 
‘’thank you.’’ you whispered back, moving your head a little so your nose could get a little closer to his neck, smelling the faint scent of his perfume that was still present on the collar of his shirt. ‘’you also smell good.’’
he smiled at the compliment, even though he thinks it's a lie, since he stayed at campus all morning, smoking on certain occasions and sweating during the hours.
his hand sank into your hair, his fingertips working dedicatedly on your scalp, massaging if softly. it felt like a blessing, your eyes closed immediately at his touch. he smiled, kissing your forehead. he was loving seeing you like this, so relaxed and so serene. because of him.
‘’feels nice, huh?’’ he asked quietly, seeing you open your eyes and look at him. god, how he wishes he could kiss you now. he barely had time to weigh the pros and cons, because when he realized it, your lips pressed against his in a soft kiss.
you felt your breaths mixing, your head emptied, all you thought about was him. 
him. him. him. 
it felt wrong at first, but now, everything was so right and so desirable that you wondered why you had never worked up the courage before. his lips were so inviting, you didn’t even need to feel his tongue invading your mouth to get completely hooked by him, but you still got that taste to feel his tongue swirling on your mouth, almost intertwining with yours. 
his hand pressed harder on your head, just like the hand that was resting in your waist, savoring your curves on his hand. somehow, he felt he was committing a great sin. that he was digging himself into a bottomless hole, and what's worse: he was taking you with him.
you pulled out, sighing softly, your lips were a little pumped and rosy. you opened your eyes, looking at him expectantly. did he liked? will he pull you into another kiss? will he reject you?
‘’i’m sorry.’’ you muttered when you noticed that he stayed silent, fighting a battle against his own mind.
‘’no, ’s not your fault…’’ he whispered back, sighing heavily. ‘’it was good, sweetie.’’
good. so he liked the kiss. 
in fact, he loved the kiss. he could kiss you all day if his mind wasn't so fucked up. you were his student. you were younger than him. you had your whole life ahead of you. and he didn't want to ruin it. he wanted to say he was sorry, that this probably wouldn't work, but it was as if his words were stuck in a lump in his throat.
‘’i think i better go.’’ he finally said, once again trying not to be rude. you hid your disappointment with a weak smile, nodding. 
you felt cold when he moved his body away from yours, standing up and adjusting his clothes. he could barely look at you without feeling a little guilty.
‘’thanks for the tea.’’ he said shortly, glancing at you one last time before opening the front door and leaving. 
you looked at the door, feeling hopeless. the taste of his kiss still remained on your lips, and now, it was tattooed on your mind. you wondered what would become of the two of you now.
this was wrong. you knew that.
but was it so wrong?
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twentysidednerd · 3 months
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i have finally finished gideon the ninth
i am. in shambles.
i am just… i am so sad and so very happy i read this and so very excited to read the sequel
i will admit, i did not block any tags on here so i already knew how some of the book would go and i’m still so very sad
now onto harrow the ninth lmaooo
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rosyjuly · 15 days
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grahamcarmen · 3 months
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What, to you is the stupidest anti-rc argument.
Always the " but omg they're siblings. "
Thats a stupid loop de loop argument thats been brandished since s1 as a [gotcha!you can't ship them!] when its really. not.
Because they're not actual siblings and certainly aren't bothering to act like it post vile isle. And having a platonic stage/element doesn't change that narratively their dynamic is /has/ changed and, even when taking out the romance possibility, must change. [And yes that does mean carmens pov of him]
What they had needs to evolve if they ever want to actually reconcile and STAY together. [and they both really freaking do want this]
...but like why do I have to take out the romantic possibility? They should kiss. Get married even. Love each other and not let go.
Look me in the eye and tell me that the way they were reunited in the story ep6 would vibe with u if zack & ivy or shadowsan and his brother got that treatment.
😒...it probably wouldn't ...
[Tbf most still don't but thats more because they hate the dear boy 😔 and the fact that carmen cares at all for him. 😩aw well, asi va, ep said maybe? I said yes please 😊]
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darkacademiaarchivist · 5 months
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might make a conspiracy board to connect all the Kersting Gier books lore because honestly Silber and Vergiss Mein Nicht could be set in the same universe... Because Cassian mentioned weird dream stuff so that could fit into Silber (and maybe wolkenschloss because it's very ambiguous if magic is real? i think it was implied the hotel is haunted but not completely obvious)
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moonscape · 5 months
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i really love the scarlet paradox forms but i can't get behind brute bonnet just because the concept is too confusing
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ziracona · 8 months
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Playing Lonesome Road is like
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willczek-art · 2 years
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11, 19?
11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what?
When I'm in the "Figuring Out" stage of the drawing, when I need to think about what I'm doing or fix previous mistakes (so projects or/and animation) I try to limit distractions and usually just end up sitting in silence.
Oooor I have some synth/soundtracks playing at a very low volume somewhere barely within my reach, but it's mostly quiet.
When I'm in the "This will get itself done, I just need to pack hours into it" phase (sketching for fun, coloring/rendering) I'm usually listening to music (Spotify and whatever rock-ish mess it curated for me (i can't make playlists for the life of me), Astral Throb when I don't want to hear words ;P).
Sometimes when music gets boring I get either an audiobook or a podcast (currently I'm slowly making my way through Distractable c: It's the first not-RPG podcast I'm listening to, Just Some People Talking About StuffTM isn't really my genere, but I've been watching them for so long I smile automatically whenever they laugh, so it's a good time ;P)
19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)
This made me realise I don't draw that many inanimate objects...
But I know I enjoy doing this weird wood texture, I love drawing smoke (thx Danica Sills) and I kinda like drawing random objects/simplified machinery? Or at least that's what I'm interested in learning how to draw (other than people), especially vintage tech~ :D
(Which means I should probably consider making a series of drawings of malfunctioning machines with wooden parts... xD)
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saulbaby · 2 years
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This is actually a serious question that I honestly don't know the answer to- do the people that hate and wanna censor ao3 wanna ban books too? Like. Do they go to the ya section of a library and see books about teenager having sex and...what? Like actually how is that reconciled between ao3 being "problematic" for hosting user generated content which is sometimes gross and libraries where probably like a third of the books have weird shit that you'd want to censor on ao3
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do-rey-me · 1 year
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1 and 3 for book asks? :)
thanks for asking!! :D
1. book you've read the most times?
hard to say tbh? probably either the first lotr book in my edition in the same way that fellowship of the ring is definitely the movie ive watched the most. bc i keep trying to reread the whole series and dont always Commit. or night watch by terry pratchett. i try to limit myself to only reading it every May but i do not always succeed. yes i am in fact currently reading it.
3. what's your favorite genre?
definitely fantasy, as shown above lol
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harrysfolklore · 5 months
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tom blyth being obsessed with his girlfriend: a compilation
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this was inspired by @astranva’s famous blurbs, love you and miss you novs <3
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
It seemed like the entire world was crushing on the same man: Tom Blyth
Unfortunately for those who watched The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes and came out of the theater in love with the man who played Coriolanus Snow, he was happily taken and loved to talk about his girlfriend any chance he got, which lead to fans making several compilations about the times he was a simp over his girl.
The most popular video was a 10 minute and 33 seconds compilation, which had around 445k views.
It started with Tom's interview with Good Morning America to talk about Billy the Kid, the interviewer asking about how he prepared for the role.
"It was during the pandemic, like any actor during that time I was just hoping that the world came back to normal so I could start making a cent," everyone in the set laughed at this, "I was living with my girlfriend YN in a barn house and we were like chopping wood every morning and visiting my friend's ranch. So when I got the part I kinda felt like I was ready for it."
"Your girlfriend, you say," one of the interviewers said making Tom smile right away, "Did she help you prepare for the role too?
"Of course she did, she's my biggest supporter ever."
The video moved to show some behind the scenes of Songbirds and Snakes footage, Tom dressed in his peacekeeper costume and dancing around while Rachel recorded him.
"See this moves?" he got closer to the camera, "I used them to charm my girlfriend."
"And I doubt they worked." Rachel laughed behind the camera.
"She loves me so I'm pretty sure they did."
The next thing shown was Tom sitting next to Hunter as they did an interview for Rolling Stone, the crew just asked about their thoughts on Olivia Rodrigo's single for the movie.
"I love Olivia Rodrigo," Hunter cheerfully said, throwing her arms up to the air, "The new album is so good."
"I'm a big fan as well," Tom joined in, "My girlfriend YN, she's obsessed with her, plays her songs all the time."
"Just so everyone knows, YN is like the coolest person ever," Hunter said, making Tom smile, "She brought us snacks on set so many times, such an angel."
"She's the best."
The following footage was Tom and Rachel's rapid-fire questions with Vogue.
"Can you guess where this is from?" Rachel asked holding up a card that showed a zoomed in picture of a suit.
"That's my Prada suit from the London premiere," Tom asked confidently, Rachel confirming that he was correct, "My girlfriend YN loved that suit, that's why It's one of my favorites."
"Oh I miss YN."
"So do I, so do I."
Next clip was Tom's interview Stephen Colbert, who just asked him if he was a fan of the books growing up.
"I was such a huge fan, I grew up watching the films. My mom and sister used to go to opening weekends to see the movies," the audience cheered at that, "Actually, for my third date with my girlfriend I took her to see the last movie, so getting to play a young president Snow is a real honor."
The video quickly moved to show the lat clip, one of Tom's interviews at the London premiere of the movie.
"Are you here on your own? No date?" The interviewer said once Tom finished answering the previous question.
"I'm here with my girlfriend, actually," his face beamed as he spoke, "She's probably somewhere taking selfies with Hunter, those two are like best friends."
"Is she close to your cast mates?" the interviewer asked again.
"Definitely, they try to steal her from me and I can't blame them, she's the best."
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rebeccccccaaa · 1 month
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Too Sweet
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Spencer Reid x Reader
:: Practically at his beck and call, Spencer knows you’re too sweet for him. He knows he shouldn’t use you but he can’t stop himself when you’re also all too enthusiastic to fuck him ::
warnings :: smutttt, casual sex (kinda lol), oral (fem receiving), over stimulation, insomnia!spencer, spencer spitting facts (literally), reader is described to have hair length long enough to stick to your cheeks, obviously reader is described as afab, not sure what else i should tag so let me know what i miss :)
author’s notes :: hello, hello! honestly i saw this tik tok edit of spencer with this song (Too Sweet - Hozier) and felt a bit inspired by it and also loosely by lyrics too. please be kind as it’s been a couple years since i last wrote a fic and it’s my first one about dr reid too, so let me know if you guys like it, comment, reblog, all that jazz and critiques are more than welcome! Enjoy!
WC :: ~4k
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It was pretty late into the night, it was the first weekend in weeks that the team was able to really enjoy. Spencer sat in a corner of his apartment, a glass of whiskey sat on the table as he flipped the pages of a book he’s read a thousand times before, albeit it was one of favorites. 
He was hesitant to call, he didn’t want to pull you away from enjoying your weekend but when it came to his pleasure, he put himself first. You were always too nice to say no to him and he knew that. It made him feel sleazy sometimes, but this was who he was now. Rugged, damaged, fucked up. He’d been through a lot. But in those moments where you squirmed and whined beneath him, he felt satiated. You were his drug now. 
“Hello?” he mumbled when the call picked up.
“Spencer,” your voice was a whisper as  you practically sang his name.
“You’re awake,” he said.
“Yes,” you responded.
“It’s a little late don’t you think?” he poked. 
“Then why are you calling?” 
You knew why he was calling. He only ever wanted one thing from you when the sky was dark. You didn’t mind it though. You basked in it. You kind of liked it. The feeling of having sex without commitment. Your job didn’t give you enough time for a commitment. You didn’t feel humiliated or belittled by Spencer’s desires. In fact, his lust for you turned you on in most cases. Most. 
Spencer was still a good friend to you. Regardless of sleeping with him, he was your closest friend. And recently, you noticed changes in him. Maybe you’ve kept a closer eye on him more than before but you were a little concerned. You had the right after everything he’s been through. He seemed more tired than usual, even though he was still punctual with work. Although you didn’t sleep in his bed after every time you slept together, when you did, you pretended not to notice his exits and long absences in between the long hours of the night. You could barely hear his ever so quiet footsteps roaming the living room. The clanking of coffee mugs in the kitchen and his quiet ‘Shit’ when he thought he was being too loud.
Three subtle knocks rapped his door, so quiet Spencer would’ve missed if he had breathed just a bit louder. A grin spread across his face subconsciously, glancing at the clock before taking long strides to the door. It was almost midnight. You stood in the doorway with heavy eyes, not the drunk kind, but the tired kind. He moved aside to let you in. Just like last time; and all the other times you showed up at his door for him. 
“I thought you went out tonight,” he questioned, rhetorically. 
“I did. For a bit,” you told him, “I just had one drink, then went home.”
“What are you doing up so late?” you asked, you already know the answer. And Spencer knows you know too, though he tried at first to be more subtle in his nightly fixtures. He simply sighed with amusement. You set your things down on his couch, eyes adjusting to the dim lights that hardly lit the room. The glass sitting on the table in the corner caught your eyes though. 
“What are you drinking?” you asked.
“Uh, whiskey. Neat.” 
“Ew, why?” you joked.
“It’s not that bad,” he shrugged. A whiskey wouldn’t exactly be Spencer’s first choice of drink but then again his first choice of drink wouldn’t even be alcohol. If it was, he would probably be content with a beer, or something of the sort. He was sort of going through a phase during nights. He was sleeping a lot less too. 
“I just didn’t take you for a whiskey kind of guy,” you teased.
“What kind of guy did you take me for?” he poked; he wasn’t really talking about drinks anymore though. 
“Water,” you joked, making him laugh. 
Spencer stood before you now. His hands were slightly hesitant this time to rest on your hips. 
“Is everything ok, Spencer?” you asked him. 
“Yes,” his voice was a whisper. 
You didn’t believe him, but you knew better than to press him. He was a stubborn guy and whether you did or didn’t you weren’t going to get an answer. You slid your hands up his chest before cupping the back of his neck with your hands. The kiss was chaste. You didn’t want to sleep with him if he was having second thoughts.
“Are you sure? If you’ve changed your mind I can head hom-,” you were telling him.
“No, don’t,” he rushed out. 
“I’m fine; I just haven’t been sleeping well,” he confessed. This surprised you, not because you didn’t know, but because you didn’t think he would tell you. 
“Well, then maybe I should go. That way you can finally get to bed before the sun comes up for once,” you joked with him, “Besides, you’re the one who's always telling people how important sleep is to the human body.”
Your words shocked Spencer this time. Admittedly, in the back of mind he suspected that you could sense him leaving his bed, or your bed sometimes, and that one or more times he’d been a little loud dwindling in the next room. But he didn’t realize you were fully aware of his nightly escapades. You knew him too well. You were too sweet to him. Spencer knew after all the fucked up things he’s been through he didn’t deserve your friendship; or anything more despite the fact.
“Did you know that elephants sleep the least of any other animal?” he told you, he doesn’t know why. Maybe to distract you, or seduce you. Both outcomes came often enough for him to make it a guessing game.
“You’re not an elephant.”
And then there were the ultra rare times when neither outcome happened; just now being one of them. 
“Sleep deprivation has been associated with reduced sexual desire and arousal,” he tried again.
“Well, I can help with that,” you teased. There we go.
He leaned down to kiss your lips but you pulled back in tease, smile on your face; you knew how pussywhipped you had this man. He didn’t want to fight it, he was growing desperate for you with every passing second. Rolling his eyes, he dipped his head in the crook of your neck. His hands left your hips, pulling you closer to him from your waist and lower back. Your hands began to unbutton his shirt, he was still wearing the clothes you saw him working in earlier that day. 
You stopped him, never been one to have sex anywhere other than the bedroom, taking his hand already knowing where to go after doing so many times before already. Although, it wasn’t like his apartment was a confusing labyrinth. He followed you like always. 
You reached the edge of the bed, sitting instinctively. Your hand went straight to his belt, undoing it with ease. Spencer pulled your hands away from his hips before sinking to his knees to the ground. He pulled your hips to the very edge, scratching the skin as he desperately pulled at your pants bringing them down your legs. Of course you let him.
He pushed you back and you fell on your elbows, still able to see him so clearly. See him dip his head and kiss the skin on the inside of your knee, his eyes lingering on yours. You let your head go for a second, basking in the feeling of his lips. They always made you feel so warm and tingly. One thing about Spencer, he loved foreplay. All the little things that lead up to sex. Most of the time, he craved the foreplay more than the sex itself. 
He moved your legs over his shoulders, his arms wrapping around your thighs, his hands holding your hips. His nose ran along your inner thighs. Your skin erupted in goosebumps at the feeling of his warm breath coming from his nose. His fingers fiddled against your hip bones and you wiggled a bit becoming desperate by the minute for something more than just this teasing.
“Spence,” you whined, looking back at him.
“It doesn’t matter how many times we do this, you’ll never learn patience will you?” Spencer bartered. 
“Spencer, I don’t come to you to learn patience,” you spat, not with any malice however.
“You won’t come at all with that attitude,” he snapped back, hiding a grin between your legs. 
“Spencer!” you gasped.
He chuckled lowly, bringing his hand between your thighs, pulling your underwear to the side to expose you to him. You were glistening, slick beginning to leak from you already. Spencer could feel himself getting hard. He precariously tried to not buck his hips into the bed like horny teenager.  
“Fuck,” he whispered under his breath. 
He stepped up quickly letting your legs drop harshly. His fingers curled over the hem of your underwear pulling them down and tossing behind his shoulder before returning to his previous position. He felt like he was possessed. Acting and moving like it was primal, instinctive. He wanted nothing more in this moment than to satisfy you. 
He kissed all the places except the place you needed the most. You curled your toes anticipating his next move, longing for his lips, tongue, fingers, anything to bring you pleasure. Just when you were about to sit up, ready to nag at him, his lips wrapped around your bud. 
Your shoulders gave out at the feeling. Your body electrifying instantaneously. Your eyes trained on the ceiling, focusing on everything about Spencer in this moment, the sounds, his touch, his tongue. His tongue dipping in you every now and then, making you moan feverishly. His hands spread out, pinning your hips down to the bed to try and get you to stop wiggling your hips, but he wasn’t too successful in that. 
“Knock it off,” he groaned, removing a hand wrapped around your leg to bring his fingers to your entrance.
“It’s not enough; I need more,” you whined.
“No, you want more,” he debuted, “You’re being greedy.”
“And you’re being mean,” you quipped, you always had something to retort.
“Ok, fine,” he stood up.
“Stop!” you whined, “Please, come back. Do whatever you want.”
“I will,” he sat on his knees again, instantly bringing his fingers up to rub slow circles that made your toes curl. 
He purposefully let them every now and then prod at your entrance make your hips jerk in surprise. He could see how wet you were, all of the slick telling him how needy you were. He looked up to look at your face. His eyes catching your nipples peeking through the fabric of your shirt from the pleasure already, smiling to himself. 
“Sexual arousal can cause an increase in blood flow to not just female genitalia, but also the breasts,” he told you, feeling your thighs squeeze ever so slightly.
“Is that your way of telling me my nipples are hard because of you?” you teased.
“Yes,” he stated before diving straight back between your thighs. 
His tongue did circles like his fingers, the wetness and warmth much more stimulating than before. His fingers slid inside you, curling when he couldn’t push them any further. You moaned out, reaching your hand down to comb your fingers through Spencer’s shaggy hair. The noises of everything bounced off the walls of Spencer’s shallow bedroom. It sounded vulgar but so sexy. Your heavy breathing practically syncing together. 
Your thighs squeezed more and more as you got closer to your climax; you didn’t care if you were suffocating Spencer. If he died, he died pleasuring you and neither of you minded it in this moment. Your hips grinding against his tongue chasing you release frantically. Spencer pumped his fingers in and out of you rapidly, leading you to ecstasy. 
Your breaths became shaking, as did your moans. You were overcome with pleasure as your orgasm hit you so suddenly. You could feel Spencer’s smile growing against you, you knew that he wasn’t going to withdraw despite reaching your climax. 
“Oh god, too much, Spence.” 
“First it was not enough, now it’s too much?” he taunted you, fingers still pumping in and out you strenuously. 
“Spence!” you wailed, your voice trembling embarrassingly. 
When he wouldn’t give out, you pulled at his hair as you sat up and pulled his mouth away from between your thighs. 
“Oh ow, ow, ow!” he whined. 
“Jesus, you were gonna give me a heartache,” you whined. 
“Actually the possibility of having a heart attack during sexual activity is exceedingly low. So you wouldn’t have had anything to worry about; if anything you would get a small headache,” he explained. 
“You’re giving me a headache,” you whined, making him laugh.  
You pulled him from the back of his neck, crashing his lips against yours. You loved to kiss Spencer. You always felt the closest to him physically when you kissed. Which is ironic since he was quite literally inside you most nights. Kissing, the art of kissing, was practically your love language. You always gave small pecks when you were together, privately of course. 
Spencer was worried at first, that kissing was too intimate that things would complicate fast and feelings would get hurt. But as time went on and things continued to stay normal between you, he just began to relish in it rather than worry about nothing. At least that’s what he’s convinced himself of. 
He suddenly remembered the first time you slept together. You were in his apartment one night going over some details of the case. Nothing so major, or frightening, but something wasn’t adding up. You decided to take a break, cracking open some beers and just talk. One beer became two, then three, then four and then suddenly bottles littered the pitiful coffee table in front of you. You were very clear with him, “I don’t just sleep with anybody.” But you were a woman with needs just as much as Spencer was a man, “Neither do I.”
“Things have to stay the way they are if we do this,” he told you that night.
“They will,” you assured him. 
You rested your forehead against his seeing his eyes seem different. Spencer always did this. Everytime, just for a minute or even a second, he would disappear behind his eyes, like he was reminiscing on a memory you couldn’t describe. 
“You did that thing again,” you said with a small grin on your face. 
“I know,” he blushed, “Sorry.”
“You ever gonna tell me what you’re thinking about when you do that?” you questioned.
“Nope,” he smirked, making you giggle. 
Spencer stood straight up shagging his shirt off before scrambling out of his pants. He crawled back over you settling his hips between your thighs as he dipped his head down to attach his lips to your neck. Your hand curled around his neck, sliding your fingers through his hair as his breath and lips tickled your skin. Your hips fit together snuggly, grinding against desperate to chase each other’s highs.
Spencer reached into the drawer beside your head to pull out a condom. You snatched it from his hands with a devilish smirk on your face tearing it with your teeth. You spat the foil corner from your mouth, pulling the condom from its package before tossing it aside. You reached between your bodies stroking Spencer. His face blushing red, contorting with pleasure as it’s the first of the night to feel some sort of friction he needed from the beginning. The reason he called you in the first place. 
Spencer let his hands trace your skin. Though you wouldn’t react, your skin erupted in goosebumps. Feeling him prodding against your entrance, your breath hitched, your heart skipping a beat. You always anticipated this part. No matter how many times you and Spencer spent the night together, you couldn’t ever get used to the flips your stomach made at this time. 
Spencer pushed his hips into you, his length stroking your walls making your hum in delight. Spencer’s breath became heavy as he pulled out just enough before rutting back in you with skill. Your face began to feel hot as Spencer began to find a good rhythm. You could feel the sweat building on your forehead, the air cold against your scalp. 
You looked at Spencer’s face; the veins bulging from his forehead and his neck. You cupped his cheek with your hand, catching his rhythm with your hips. Your breath became heavy, your hums became moans. Spencer wasn’t exactly the most vocal lover you laid with. Not that Spencer was your lover of course. That‘s not what you meant.
“What’s going on in that pretty little brain?” Spencer’s voice took you from your sudden trance; his pace beginning to slow. He brought his hand to your face, pulling the stray hairs that stuck to your cheeks from your sweat away.
“Nothing, just don’t stop,” you sighed, pulling his lips down to yours again. 
Spencer picked up his pace again, the sound of skin slapping echoing in the room. You felt overcome with an ambitious heat throughout your body. You pushed Spencer’s shoulders up trying your best to cool down without stopping your chase to your high. Spencer sat on his knees gripping your hips, practically ramming his hips into yours. Your back arched and you gripped the sheets beneath you. 
“Oh god, fuck,” you cried out. Your thighs squeezing Spencer’s torso as you began to get closer to your climax. 
“Shit, it’s like I can’t get enough no matter how many times I have you squirming beneath me,” he gloated. 
You could see Spencer's chest begin to get red, his knuckles however turning white. Your hands reached down gripping his wrists. Prying them away, before sitting up to straddle his legs, as they stretched forward, adjusting comfortably. You held on to his shoulders sturdily, finding an entirely new rhythm to chase your high. 
Spencer’s hands ran up your back, sliding under your shirt that you had yet to take off. No wonder you were overwhelmed with heat. He peeled the tight fabric from your skin, tossing it to the ground like he has so many times before. He unhooked your bra with ease, his eyes instantly trained to your chest. He couldn’t help his hands following, massaging the soft skin. Spencer looked up to you as you bounced up and down. Sweat dripping seductively down the valley of your breasts. 
“You’re so pretty,” Spencer whispered, staring up at you.
“I know,” you joked breathlessly, giving him a playful wink. 
Spencer let out a breathy laugh at that. The both of you were itching for a release now. Your bodies squirming against one another, aching to give the other the release. You leaned back placing your hands on his thighs, moving your hips faster and harder than before. 
“Spencer, I’m getting close, I feel it,” you whimpered, “Please tell me you’re close too.”
“I’m close,” he breathed out.
“Fuck,” you cried.
“Come on, sweetheart. Let go,” Spencer mused, he reached between you two, fingers circling quickly between your thighs to bring you to climax even faster.
You gasped out, chest heaving as you felt the waves of pleasures wash over you suddenly. You couldn’t help the loud moans escaping from you as you threw your head back; arched back and thighs tensed. Spencer’s hand held your body close to himself, and you curled forward wrapping your arms around his head as you climaxed indefinitely. Spencer grunted below you, his legs stiffening and jerking upward. Curses whispered from his lips. 
“Oh, shit,” you gasped, relaxing and slumping your body over Spencer. 
“Treat me good, like always,” he whispered, his hand coming briefly to stroke your hair gently. 
He rolled you over, laying you lazily on his bed before climbing out of the bed swiftly. He stumbled his way to dispose of the rubber. He grabbed a small towel from a drawer along with something to cover himself. He sat silently on the edge of the bed, gently cleaning you as your eyes slowly blinked, telling him you were exhausted. 
“You want to stay the night? I can see how tired you are.” 
“I’ll be gone first thing in the morning,” you quipped with a small grin on your face. 
Spencer laid beside you, covering your body with the blankets. You curled by his side, your leg falling over his hips. He turned the lights out, but the soft golden glow from the lights in the room next door streamed in. His arm wrapped around you, fingers softly stretching your back. Steady breaths against his chest gave him a sense of comfort. He was always a bit jealous how easily sleep came to you; how peaceful you looked when you did. Spencer tried to close his eyes. He tried to let rest wash over him like a blanket. What felt like seconds was an hour. And another hour. He peeked at his watch laying on the nightstand beside him, three o’clock the time read. 
Sighing, he sneaked out of bed, careful to not wake you. He skulked towards the kitchen, eyeing the small glass of whiskey still on the table. He couldn’t help smirk to himself over it. He opened the cabinet grabbing a mug, pouring a bitter liquid into it. He took a big swig of his favorite beverage, basking in all the flavors, when suddenly a beautiful figure stood before him. 
“Hey,” his voice was quiet. 
“I’m guessing you haven’t slept,” you tiptoed your way to him, you could hear him sighing. 
“Is there anything at all I can do to help you?” you whispered, carefully placing your hand on Spencer’s warm back. 
“No, but having you here is enough.”
You were beginning to blur the lines between your arrangement and your friendship. But neither you nor Spencer could muster up the courage to stop what you’ve started. Spencer indulged in your sweetness, the way you were always there to satiate his desires, the way you opened yourself to him like heaven’s gate. And you, well you would never admit it. Being in love with Spencer that is. You’ve known him for years; seen the best parts of him and helped him through the worst. You knew him the best of anyone you’ve known before. And he could say the same too. He’s never opened up to anyone as much as he has to you. 
You were perfect for each other. And yet, Spencer wouldn’t allow himself to bask in it. He truly believed he didn’t deserve you. That all the demons that haunted him in these dark hours were undeserving of your kindness, compassion, gentleness. Simply thinking about you was often enough to calm him in tense situations. But he would never tell you this. So here he was, standing in the kitchen with his coffee black at three in the morning wondering why you couldn’t see that he would never be enough for you. 
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milf-harrington · 7 months
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i read a fic yesterday (return of the king) where Steve swapped with Eddie at the last second at the end of s4 and ended up being the one who died and had to be left behind and then he came back as a vampire and it just got my brain TICKING.
So role-reversal AU where steve is the one who comes back basically kas-ified as is the common trope with eddie, but where eddie goes to steve, steve goes to robin.
lets say, for funsies, that they managed to kill vecna and max only ended up hospitalised for a broken elbow and a twisted ankle (from falling on it), so everyone has the time and space to grieve.
Steve’s death hits Robin the hardest because he was her person. He was her i-wish-we-could-just-merge-into-one-being. Her ride or die. Her soulmate. And he’d been taken from her, torn apart and left to rot in the very world he’d tried so hard to protect her from. 
The others give her space to let her mourn quietly in her bedroom, dressed in steve’s clothes and listening to his music like if she just tried hard enough she could still merge them together and let him use her lungs to breathe, her heart to pump his blood, her head to share his thoughts. that she could single handedly go from a me to a we.
And then, one day, Robin starts acting weird. She doesn’t know the Wheeler’s phone number and on her way to find it in the phone book, she found the Munson’s first, and when Eddie picks up it’s too a very chipper Robin asking for a lift to the shops where she proceeds to buy an alarming amount of red meat and refuses to answer any questions.
And she’s just- happy. She’s weird and happy and keeps calling Eddie to ask him about Dungeons and Dragons lore and if he can take her to the library or to the butcher and if he can let her borrow his jumper please? I get cold easily. And then she just keeps stealing clothes, from everyone. Sometimes she asks, sometimes she’ll just take a jacket off of the back of a chair and act like nothing happened, sometimes she just sneaks off to go rooting through washing baskets.
Then comes the day she invites Eddie over, probably a week or so after her initial journey into Weird-Ville, nervously rambling about nothing right up until she closes the front door behind them and runs into Eddie’s back because Eddie’s just spotted Steve-fucking-Harrington peering at him from around the corner. 
Apparently, a not-exactly-dead-anymore Steve crawled through Robin’s window one night and has since taken up residence underneath her bed. 
“He was kinda- not all there, at first.” She tells him, chopping a steak into cubes and dropping them into a blender. Steve, winged and fanged and tailed, leans against the counter and watches her with sleepy eyes. “But we’ve been working on it.”
After the initial pants-shitting shock of having her dead best friend re-appear as a creature of the upside down, Robin had simply accepted it and moved on. Happy to have Steve back no matter what it looked like. 
And what it looked like was blending raw meat, and reading together in the bathroom to bring back his ability to talk, and stealing clothes for the veritable nest Steve was building in her closet. The next step in her plan to re-domesticate her best friend, had been to introduce him to another person: Eddie, evidently. 
Steve promptly spends 5 minutes being a feral little creature, scenting Eddie within an inch of his life like he’d done to Robin, and then attempting to plant him in his nest like a little ornament. 
Just. idk. feral kas!steve seeking out robin for safety, who slowly re-introduces him to his humanity and then his future boyfriend.
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yxami · 6 months
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I think I said I would do no nut November as a joke bc I didn’t do October so 😭😭😭 here u go
desc: yandere nerd x gn willing reader, mentions of stalking, obsession, creep habits, the usual, was gonna make nsfw but it got long so maybe part 2 will actually be the no nut part
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The bookworm of your class has trouble not looking at you, not focusing in on how beautiful you presented yourself today, jesus, is that a new body mist? It’s almost like you knew he loves sweet scents.
He stares at the back of your head lovingly until you turn around and catch his stare on accident after you were about to speak to your friend. He freezes in the wooden chair he sits in and sees you slowly speaking to your friend while knitting your brows in a confused expression as you stare back.
Fuck fuck fuck. He manages to look away with red cheeks, ears burning a scorching temperature in embarrassment. He didn’t expect you to turn to your friend!! You had never done that so why now?
God, he hopes he didn’t look like a creep, he can’t even follow along to the lesson since his hands are too shaky and his mind can’t settle on one thing to think about other than you.
This is the only occasions his brain is fried and jumbled, he feels so dumb when you plague his mind to the point where he’s unable to think or speak.
The lesson passes thankfully, or so he thought until he sees you walking up to his desk, he hesitated to even look up, just staring straight ahead until you speak, if you listened closely you could these his teeth grinding in pure anxiousness.
“Hey, do you mind?” Your voice is in a regular tone, no anger, no disgust, nothing, this being the first time you’ve ever spoken to him, but he doesn’t pick up on that fact.
“Nono! Go ah- ahead” He mentally curses at himself for being such a mess up when his throat fails to smoothly deliver his words. He gets up, collecting his books and allowing you to get a better look at him.
“I was just wondering if you wanted to study together after school, you seemed to be a little lost during class so I wanted to offer my help” You grin, hoping it was friendly like you imagined it to be.
“Oh— um, yeah! I mean yes, thank you, sorry” He rambled, stupidly continuing his sentence even though it was just a yes or no question. He couldn’t imagine that his dream would come true by the hands of you.
All the stalking he’s done, passing in the same route you go after managing to log into your school account to find out what your schedule was, going to every party you went to just to hide in a corner for the entire duration to make sure nobody would try to take you home, he’d do anything to make sure you were safe and happy.
It’s humorous to him that he has you in his room now, looking around with your curiosity peaked at how he’s decorated his room, games and such, a few posters here and there.
He just hopes the last minute decorating suits him because the hundereds of photos he had to tear off his wall had him wincing every time, he’s never dared to take them off until now, nor even hide the plushies he’s bought that look like you, but he assured himself it was for the sake of you, so he managed to do it.
“So, can you remember what this mixture does? When the 5th and 8th are swished together?” You point your pencil, circling around the ones you were mentioning, wondering if he would get this one right.
This poor little nerd is shaking on whether to pretend he doesn’t know or impress you with his knowledge, he’s the top of the class but you thought he didn’t get the subject.
So he decided to pretend.
“Um… it makes this one right?” He weakly says, hoping his confused voice sounded realistic, he doesn’t like the taste of lying on his tongue, but he’s doing it for you so it’s okay in his mind.
You shake your head with a disapproving hum but make sure not to embarrass him by pointing at the right answer. “It’s this one, I created a rhyme to remember since it’s kinda hard to remember it” You wrote down your own creation of a rhyme on his notes, making sure it was right by whispering it to yourself.
Honestly too cute, his heart is pounding out of his chest while he gushes over how adorable you looked, you’re a drug that he can’t stay away from, and he loves every second of this high he gets.
As you scribble the lines down he hopes you write more so he can treasure how your handwriting and add it to his growing collection. The growth is spreading like wildfire just from you being in his room and doing normal things.
“Sorry if it’s out of the blue but I haven’t ate all day, can I get some snacks or something?” You could feel your stomach growl, hoping it wasn’t as loud as you imagined it to be.
“Huh- yeah sure! Of course!” He jumps up, quickly scrambling to get out from under the table the two of you worked on. “I’ll get you something, don’t worry!” He happily says, quickly zigzagging out his own room to get you something to eat.
You thought he was an interesting classmate, that’s for sure. You wondered what type of personality he had, was he always this shy and desperate to please?
You placed your pencil down, forgetting to set it down on something sturdy, it rolls down under his bed into the darkness, before you could even realize what specific area it rolled into. You make sightless grabs and manage to get ahold of something.
You bring it out to find out it’s nothing like a pencil and in fact a plushie, a cute one, but it looks a little familiar, it sort of resembles you? Maybe it’s just a coincidence? You pat it’s plush little head and place it down on the side, making another grab to find one plushie after another.
Seriously! How many plushies did he need? And why did they all look like you?
You only piece together that you’ve discovered a part of his shrine when you pull out a collage of pictures that all contain you.
You talking with your friend who was angrily scribbled out, another of you eating at lunch, one of you just tired during a lecture, and the most intimate ones being of you sleeping and in your house. You can tell one of them is more recent by how the picture was of you in your pajamas cooking yesterdays dinner.
Your eyes quickly dart to observe each photo, pondering about when or how he could’ve taken these.
Speak of the devil he enters with a plate of your favorite food, something you’ve never told him and you’re sure that it’s not another coincidence.
His jaw drops as he sees you surrounded by his plushie collection and most terrifying of all, his collage of his favorite pictures of you.
“That’s— um- I can explain! It’s just—“ He hastily shoves the plate onto his studying table, trying to reason with unfinished rambles of whatever, you honestly blocked it out.
“What is all this?” Your face contorts into blatant confusion and he can’t read the glint in your eyes, something he‘s never failed to do.
“I’m sorry, im s—sorry” He hiccups, already into a crying mess without any actual words of rejection, he’s on his knees, hands clasping onto your pants as he begs for who knows what.
“I-I promise I won’t stalk you anymore, please? I know it’s creepy and wrong but I like you I really do“ He cries, hoping you wouldn’t kick him to the side and yell at him like he’d assume you would do.
He knew he was a creep but he couldn’t stop himself, it all started with you helping him grab his things after he dropped it in a busy hallway and then the obsession never stopped, it was like a parasite that he couldn’t stop feeding and he loved every second of it, of you.
“It’s fine” You pat his head, brushing some hair out his face.
“It’s fine..?” He repeats, wondering if he’s heard you correctly, he sniffles and melts into your soft touch, even though he feels undeserving of it right now.
“Well I kinda had an idea that there was something up with you. By how many times I’ve seen you throughout my week, I’ve noticed that you’re always in the background watching me” You bring him up to stand, his legs are so shaky he’s almost leaning on you.
“You’re n..not mad right?” He hiccups again, now getting embarrassed at how pathetic he sounded, his glassy eyes scanned your expression, praying this wasn’t a cruel joke and that you genuinely didn’t mind.
“Not really, just.. don’t take pictures inside my house” You’re tempted to joke with him by whacking his arm with a plushie of his but you don’t. You just continue to tuck his hair behind his ears so they no longer stick to his wet cheeks.
“Ookay! I won’t” He quickly nods, eager to please you, especially since you seemed to have accepted him even with his creepy habits and flaws.
“And if you want a picture just ask, you don’t have to take them far away without my permission” You grab his phone, wiping his tears away with your sleeve and blowing his bangs out his face, he’s practically crimson red by how he closed his eyes thinking you were going to kiss his forehead.
“Here, look” You sit next to him, backs pressed against the wall of his bed as you take a photo, you tell him to smile after seeing the blank expression on his face.
“Sorry, I’m just nervous” He mumbles, wiping his damp face to make sure he didn’t look that bad in the photo, he’s only closed his eyes for one moment before he feels pressure on top of his lap, oh my god you’re in his lap why are you in his lap?
Before he can sputter out those questions you take a picture, making a kissy face as he looks flustered and confused in the photo, you turn his phone to show the picture you took.
“Why not put that one in your collage?” You turn to see how he looks and there’s not a single thought behind his eyes, looks like you broke him and the teasing has barely even started.
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oharababe · 4 months
Text
❝ STRESS RELIEVER ❞ oneshot premise. you're struggling to keep your focus with the stress and miguel offers to ease that worry off you. (minors do not interact).
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pairing. college student! miguel o'hara x college student! reader. genre. explicit sexual content, alternate universe. warnings. finger fucking, dirty talk, kinda slow burn. wc. 3,573 words.
a/n. this is long overdue for @spikedhe4rt who requested miguel to finger fuck reader as a stress relief. i aged reader and miguel to between 22-23 in this oneshot since they're college students. this fic is longer than intended but hey, we like to take it slow burn here.
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Sometimes you contemplate why you put yourself in this kind of situation. 
You were aware that you have exams coming up in the next few weeks. But you were focused on making sure that you got your assignments done before the deadline. So it was natural for you to prioritise those. You wish you had paid more attention to the dates because just when you thought that you would have more time to revise, you didn’t. Leaving you with only three weeks until your exam. And now you’re struggling to get information into your head. 
“Fuck,” you mumble. The machine makes a soft drilling noise as it pours coffee into your mug. You rub your forehead with your hand as you wait for your drink to finish. Thinking about what topics you need to revise for the exam. Mentally planning how you would organise and plan yourself for another long session of studying. It’s going to be another long night.
When your drink is ready, you stride your way to the dining table where all your notes and books are set. With not enough desk space you have in your room, the dining table has turned into your second desk to accommodate all the reading materials and your laptop to work on. You strap yourself in your seat, ready for another torturous session of studying for the finals. 
All the caffeine from the coffee, tea and sugary energy drinks didn’t last long in your system. At first, you feel the buzz of the caffeine that helps you go through two hours of reading and answering mock questions without a proper break. You feel yourself pushing through, feeling motivated that you can do this. But then, the effects wear off, and now you’re struggling through short video clips on your laptop after two hours into your study session. 
Your mind battles. Reminding you about the consequences of you losing more time. But you can’t be bothered at the moment. You are convincing yourself that you deserve a break from studying for fifteen minutes which turned into a two-hour rest and procrastination. 
At this rate, you know that you won't get any studying done. You’re going to have to face the consequences of that but you can’t be bothered about it for now. Staring mindlessly at your laptop with headphones on as you watch a reality television adaption to pass the time. 
“Dios, you’re still here this late?” 
Your eyes look up from your laptop to find your roommate in the dining area. Miguel stands at the entrance in his black leather jacket, red shirt underneath and dark-coloured jeans. His black helmet rests on his left lip and it looks like he’s returned from wherever he went or did. You didn’t realise that he wasn’t in the house you both shared all this time. “When was the last time you looked at yourself in the mirror? You look shit.” 
“Thanks, Captain Obvious.” You say. Your relationship with Miguel O’Hara is rather tricky, to say the least. Sometimes, the two of you get along and have a decent conversation with each other about careers, and personal experiences and share similar interests. Though other times, it’s not necessary. It’s mostly when he would bring people over to the house and then take one girl up to his room. Having to hear moans from the girls he fucked and Miguel’s growls and dirty talks. 
It annoys you to no end, especially the one incident when you walked into the bathroom with him getting a blow job in the shower. It’s still his fault for not locking the bathroom or even putting a sign on the door to say that he’s busy getting pleased.  
Even after that, your subtle attraction for Miguel still resonates with you. 
You realise your mug is empty, another drink that is supposed to keep you going has gone to waste in your system. You can’t be bothered but you know that you’ve wasted time not studying when you’re supposed to. So, you get up from your seat, walk into the kitchen and do the same routine that you’ve done the past few weeks when you’re cramming for finals. Either make your coffee, or tea or grab an energy drink. The caffeine from the coffee is too much for you to handle at the moment and tea isn’t strong enough for you. So you settle for an energy drink where it’s in between enough caffeine to maybe help you go through for another three hours for now. 
“Are you thinking of studying again?” Miguel sounds a bit disbelieving, but not surprised. He’s now in the kitchen with you as you take your energy drink of choice for the night—or early morning. You don’t want to look at the time “There’s no point. You’re not going to remember anything at this rate.”
“Can we just… not do this?” You warn, holding your hand up as a sign for him to stop talking. Stop creating conversations that would lead to an argument because you know it would happen. Especially with your emotions all over the place.  
Miguel stares at you, his eyes roaming up and down. Not long after, his lips curl into a smirk. Leaning his side against the frame of the long, rectangular entrance arch. “You’re stressed out. Miss Perfect finally breaks down for finals.”  
A tired sigh escapes out of your mouth. You focus to proceed on opening up the can, hearing its fizziness before pouring it into your mug. “You could say that.” 
The kitchen falls into silence. What he says is certainly true and you feel that you brought this on yourself. You were off-tracked with your assignments and didn’t check the right exam dates. It’s an error on your part but you are trying to do your best to make it through another year of college without failing. At this point, you’re willing to accept a passing grade just to make it to another year.  
“I’ll study and keep you company,” Miguel declares. “Only to make sure you stay focused and get on track. No more messing around. Got that?” 
You blink, unprepared for his words. You’re not sure why he’s doing this to you but what he said made a rush of warmth fill your chest. Despite his words, you guess that he thinks it’s better to have someone to study with rather than doing it alone. But you don’t ask Miguel if that’s his intention, in case he decides to rethink his offer.
“Thank you.” 
Miguel unfolds his arms and lets it drop to his sides. His hands are in his pockets as he’s about to leave, but then he looks over his shoulder to you. “And also; nadie bebe su bebida energética de una taza.” He says before disappearing elsewhere. 
You blink and look down at the mug in your hand, guessing that Miguel is talking about how energy drinks are meant to drink from their can, and not from a mug. 
***** 
You did manage to push yourself for another two hours before you came crashing again. 
“I can’t focus on anything else right now. My mind has gone blank.” You sigh, slumping on your seat. That’s another study session that failed.
“Hm,” Miguel responds. Focusing on his study materials. “I think you’ve studied too much. That’s why you’re burned out.” 
There is some truth to his words. You have been pushing yourself to the bone for this exam and now your mind is haywired. Everything feels numbing in your head. The feelings of exhaustion, guilt and unbotheredness are jumbled in you. 
“I’m just really stressed out. I want to do well on this exam but my brain just… can’t grasp anything that I’ve studied.” You say, sounding a little disheartened. “I can’t focus, I can’t concentrate.” 
Miguel couldn’t help but glance at you. Taking in the way you’re slumped in your seat and how hollow your eyes are, filled with fatigue and emptiness. You look stressed out. He wonders when was the last time you had rest – a proper break. Not the stupid Pomodoro breaks where you take five to ten minutes of break time before getting back to studying. 
He wonders when was the last time you had taken care of yourself? 
Miguel turns his attention to you when he hears you close one of your heavy books. You let out a sigh, “I can’t even relax without being so much on edge. Fuck.” 
He thinks you’re right as he sees the way your body tenses in stress and anxiety. Miguel’s expression stays unfazed though he does feel sympathy seeing you in such a state. “Hey, you should get some rest. Go to bed early or something.” 
“I will after I attempt to get this lesson done. Then, I’ll go to bed.” 
Miguel gives you a solemn look. Your determination is one of the things he admires about you. Your willingness to do whatever it takes to get your points across. It made you endearing in his eyes. But at the moment, it’s making you look stubborn and somewhat prideful. The last thing you need is a bad experience of burnout before your exam, and he knows that you know this as well deep down.
“Let me help you to relax,” 
“Huh?” You shoot him a confused look. As if he’s said something unusual to you. “Help me… relax? How do you plan on doing that?” 
Miguel nods, “You are tensed up and you’re not getting anything remembered in your head. Your mind can’t focus.”  
You raise a brow at him, unsure where your roommate is coming from. Miguel is right, you do need to take a proper break since your productivity is rather counterproductive. But his words still puzzle you about how he can help you relax. “And how do you plan on doing that, exactly?” You ask curiously. “What do you do to relax when you’re stressed out?” 
“You know, go to the gym. Take a walk, drive around.” Miguel says it casually. “Sometimes masturbating helps to wire your brain to relax.”
You stare at your roommate before burying your face in your hands with a groan. Not only is the suggestion embarrassing but you have to imagine Miguel playing with himself. How his hands would stroke his cock, hot and pulsing in the palm of his hands. Envisioning the grunted breaths and deep groans he makes. It isn’t as if you haven’t done that to yourself either, pleasuring yourself. You’ve done that on the nights where you could hear the headboard of his bed from his room moving as the girl Miguel brought for the night kept moaning. 
You shake your head, dismissing the thoughts immediately. Or try to. “I’m not in the right mindset to do that.” 
Miguel raises an eyebrow. “I’m not saying you should do it. I’m offering to do it. It’s on the table for you.” 
“What?” You stare at him in shock and confusion. You think you heard him wrong but from the unfazed look on his face, you know that he is serious about this. Serious about giving you an orgasm, or maybe multiple orgasms. Because you know from the women and girls he brings over to fuck, Miguel has them moaning more than three times. 
When you open up your mouth, you can hear yourself stammering your words. The thought of it is disgusting but at the same time, arouses you. “Miguel, I–” 
“Do you trust me?” He asks, his red eyes piercing into yours. Captivating you to stop talking. To stop denying the offer of pleasure. You give Miguel a look of uncertainty, unsure how to respond to his offer.
“What’s it gonna be?” Miguel asks. The corner of his mouth curves up to a tiny smirk. “No pressure, chica. I want you to think about it and let me know if you’re up for it or not.” 
Miguel goes back to reading his study notes with a neutral expression as if the conversation didn’t happen. He doesn’t look at you and the silence in the room speaks volumes. Leaving you to think about the offer. You’re not sure why he is even offering himself to give you pleasure. Miguel is your friend, for goodness sake. The guy is out of your league and he has been with other people, you know this. Is he doing this out of pity or could there be more to it? 
The two of you have lived together for three years of schooling, and have known each other for that long. He doesn’t give you attention in a lustful way or lustful like he does with other girls; the kind of interest in starting a sexual relationship with you. It’s a blessing in disguise yet at the same time, you want a connection more than just being his friend. 
You have a crush on Miguel but he doesn’t seem the type of guy who isn’t ready to commit to one person just yet. Especially when you’re both still young and exploring life ahead.  
“Okay,” you closed your book with a thud. You catch his eyes when you fully turn to talk to him. This idea is already as insane as it is, but you’re desperate to stop feeling like a lost cause about your exam. You just want to forget about your test for a few minutes. Maybe a couple of hours at most. “I’ll take up on your offer. What I’ve been doing is not working, and I need some sort of break before I go insane.” 
Miguel grins and then puts his reading materials away. You always think that he looks so handsome when he smiles. “Well then. Move your books and laptop aside and sit on the table for me.” Miguel looks at you when you stare at him. “It will be a lot nicer like that, trust me.” He adds. 
“Okay, I’ll get my stuff out of the way.” You say and begin picking up your books and laptop. Miguel does the same, putting his things away, then turns his attention to look at you. 
You’re sitting on the edge of the table, waiting for his next words. The beating of your heart thumping is the only thing you can hear as you watch Miguel. He stands in front of you in between your thighs. Tall, built and handsome. His red eyes look down on you as they shine under the lights in the dining area. 
You feel his hands on the sides of your waistband shorts, his fingers brushing against your clothed skin and hips. “May I?” Miguel asks as he looks at you. 
“Sure,” you say. You’re not one to be nervous around easily but your roommate seems to have that effect on you. When you lift your hips slightly, Miguel curls his fingers on the waistband and pulls down your shorts. Discarding your clothed item you notice that he’s taken off your panties too. “Miguel–” 
His stare made you pause, his red piercing eyes keep you quiet. You’ve always known what Miguel’s eyes are like but in this moment of what you’re letting him do to you, it stirs feelings in you. The gaze in his eyes is fiery in desire; so focused and enraptured. He looks at you in silence – keeping his eyes on you – as he slowly pulls down everything and discards it somewhere in the room. 
“Open your legs a little for me, pretty,” Miguel tells you. “Yes, that’s it.” 
The heat on your cheeks burns you as your heart thumps in your chest at how intimate and vulnerable the situation looks. Never in your dreams you would be in this situation, much less doing it with Miguel O’Hara.
 “It’s not too late to change your mind and tell me no.” He says. Standing between your legs, his calloused fingers on your inner right thigh. “I won’t hate you for it.” 
Your breathing is soft and steady. “Shouldn’t you have asked me that before you took my panties off?” You chuckled with a small smile. You feel a little more relaxed about what you and he are starting. 
Miguel grins, “I probably should have.” His expression becomes serious. “I’ll start slow.” 
You watch as he puts two fingers in his mouth with a gentle suck. When he pulls them out, his digits are glistened wet under the lights. Lubricated and wet against his tan skin. Miguel catches you dazing at him, his intense expression stays on you, as he brings his fingers between your thighs. They find themselves between your flaps, tracing your inner folds with his fingertips. 
“You’re already wet before I touch you.” Miguel hums in approval. “That’s good.” 
His fingers move slowly like he promised. You feel him gather your sleek arousal with a gentle swipe of his thumb and move up to the hood of your cunt. You moan softly when you feel Miguel play with your clit, circling and putting just the right pressure that has you tingling in sensation. Your hands grip on the edge of the table as you brace yourself. 
“Gosh, that feels nice.” You sigh. Your eyes are closed, indulging in the pleasure, finding your body relaxed and mind in tranquillity. Focusing on feeling his fingers touch and tease your folds and clit. Maybe this is what you truly need for a break from intense studying. 
“I like the look on your face,” Miguel tells you. You can picture the smirk from the tone of his voice. “This is just the beginning of your stress relief.” 
You didn’t get to open your eyes and ask him what he meant when you felt something push inside your cunt. Your walls are wet and warm, feeling one of Miguel’s digits sliding into your pussy with ease. It has you gasping and moaning softly, your back arches and hands gripping tightly onto the table edge. Miguel has his index finger in you and he slips in his middle finger, stretching your pussy open. His thumb is still circling your clit as his fingers thrust in and out of you. 
“Stay still, bonita.” His voice deeps, almost growling. “And don’t think. Just focus on the feeling of my fingers. Relax for me.” 
You can’t help but tighten around his fingers from the command. Hoping that he didn’t feel the way your clit throbs from his command. You never heard him speak like that before – maybe not to you – but it sounds hot. All you could focus on is the way his fingers rub and massage your pussy. 
You can tell that Miguel is certainly experienced with the way he can tease your vulva and play with your clit, letting your breathless sighs and moans guide him. It’s completely easy to forget about anything else but being finger fuck by the guy you liked. 
“Oh, oh.” You softly moan, putting the heels of your feet on the edge of the table. Your hands clutch onto his forearms as Miguel fingers you. It has your head spinning with the way he alternates between fingering and rubbing your slick folds. The pace is not fast or slow-- just perfect, as it eases you off and you forget about what you're stressed about in the first place. 
And when he pushes his fingers into your pussy, it has you tilting your head back in ecstasy, moaning his name, as you feel him going deeper.
"So tight around my fingers. You definitely need this." Miguel smirks, his breath warms your neck. “Need a good stretch, don’t you, bonita?” 
You groan as you feel him continuously plunge his digits in and out of you. Miguel doesn’t stick to one way to pleasure you; he would rub your wet folds, flicker your clit up and down and sideways with his thumb, and circle your little pearl. At the corner of your eye, you see the corner of his mouth curve up in a smirk when clutching onto his forearms for dear life. 
“Miguel,” you mewl. The knot in your lower belly tightens when he plunges his whole fingers into your slick pussy, thrusting them in and out. Your body moves in a sudden, forward thrust when Miguel continues to come hither inside your pussy, having his fingers rubbing your G-spot. He doesn’t stop to flicker and circle your throbbing clit and a sultry gasp catches in your throat as your thighs begin to quiver. “Oh, fuck!” 
“That’s it, beautiful. Oh, you really do need this, don’t you?” Miguel asks almost mockingly. You arch your back in his embrace and let out another moan, feeling his two fingers flicking inside your pussy walls. He knows exactly what he’s doing, drawing out more noises from you as your lower body still trembles, and your cum spilling out of your folds and onto his fingers. 
It feels as if Miguel is toying with you and pussy for a long time, even after being overstimulated and sensitive. He slows down his ministrant but still has his fingers gently rubbing circles on your clit and wet folds. You relax in his arm, head on his shoulder as you regain your senses from orgasm. All thoughts cleared up in your head and you couldn’t even remember what you were thinking or doing earlier before being finger-fucked. 
Miguel’s voice sounds a little raspy and distinct, still toying with your cunt, as he whispers:  “Wanna continue this elsewhere?” 
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TAGLIST GROUP:
@99matterss @manlikemilesmyguy @therealloopylupin2099 @oyayablog @tojishugetiddies @miauamy @pigeonmama
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moonstruckme · 7 months
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Can you do poly!marauders where reader has kinda a shitty family? Like, where their family belittles them and insults them and gets mad over them existing so whe reader is back at hogwarts the next year she's as fragile as a china shop uncomfortablely close to a bull farm??
Only do it if your comfortable with it <3
Make sure to take care of yourself and remeber you are loved <3 <3
Thanks for requesting, love you and hope you're taking care of yourself as well <3
cw: hints at emotional abuse
poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1.3k words
You’re quiet, all of a sudden. The distance over the last few months had been rough for all of you, gone to your separate homes for the summer, but Remus is beginning to suspect it was most difficult for you; you can’t seem to find your way back to them. It’s like you’ve constructed a shell around yourself over the short three months you’ve been apart, and none of James’ loving, Sirius’ teasing, or Remus’ offerings of a study companion have proved successful in drawing you back out. 
He’s sure you think you’re being subtle. You certainly haven’t addressed your boyfriends’ worries, either missing or ignoring the looks they send each other when you don’t jump in on a joke they’re doing or answer in a quiet, meek voice when they ask you a question. It’s as if you’re afraid of being heard, of being noticed at all. 
Remus doesn’t like it one bit. 
Neither do the others, of course, and he and James have had to talk Sirius down from confronting you about it multiple times already in the week since you’ve been back. You seem…fragile, somehow, and Remus doesn’t think pushing you will get the results they all want. James seems to think you’ll come back to them on your own if they give you time, and Remus isn’t so sure, but it’s the plan he’s rolling with for now. 
Still, he doesn’t think it’s out of line to intervene when he catches you carrying a stack of books that has to be half your weight. Last year, he’s positive you would have asked for help, but now you only grunt quietly as the stack wobbles above your head. 
“Let me take some of those for you,” Remus offers, already standing, and you flinch as if your distracting him from his homework is a punishable offense. The stack teeters dangerously with your sudden movement. 
“That’s okay,” you squeak, leaning back a bit in an attempt to get your tower of books under control. You look timid, wide-eyed like a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar, afraid of getting in trouble. “You can sit back down, I’ve—” You don’t even get the chance to finish your excuse before the books topple, scattering about. Remus flinches internally when some fall down on your head, and another sends an empty glass on the edge of the coffee table crashing to the ground. 
You cover your mouth with your hand, staring in silent horror at the mess around you. 
James and Sirius, playing cards on the other side of the coffee table, look up at the commotion. 
“Shit,” Sirius says (a rather eloquent sum-up in Remus’ opinion). “Are you okay?”
“I’m so sorry,” you breathe, crouching and beginning to gather the broken glass in your hands.  “I’m so sorry, I can’t believe I did that.” 
“Don’t—be careful,” Remus starts to say, but then you lose your balance, stepping backwards just slightly and letting out a tiny hiss. 
Remus stands, but James gets to you first, careful to keep away from the broken glass himself as he lifts you clear of the debris and deposits you onto the couch. 
“I’m sorry,” you say again, impossibly quiet. You’re looking between your boyfriends as if unsure what they want you to do. 
“Angel, it’s okay,” James insists, coming to sit down in front of you. “We’ll clean it up in a bit, don’t worry. Did you hurt yourself?”
You look down at your foot, sucking your bottom lip into your mouth.
“A little,” you admit. “Sorry.” 
“Stop that,” Remus says sternly. “It was a mistake. We only care that you’re hurt.” 
You look conflicted, and Remus can practically see your next apology forming on your tongue, but before you can utter it, James asks gently, “Can I have a look, sweetheart?”
You blink at him, nodding hesitantly. James is careful as he takes your ankle in his hand, lifting your foot in front of his face. His expression clears a little. “Okay, it’s just a little piece,” he says, adjusting his hold before picking out a tiny bit of glass and flicking it into the pile with the rest. “There you go.” 
You nod your thanks, curling your foot underneath you. You’re being quiet as a rabbit, Remus thinks, all tense and wary but afraid to make a single sound. Whether you notice or not, the unease in the room grows with every second of your silence. 
Finally, it appears Sirius can’t be held at bay any longer. 
“Alright,” he says, more frustration in his tone than Remus thinks is really a good idea, “what’s going on with you?”
You look surprised. “Me?”
“Yes, you. You’ve been acting like someone’s going to shout at you ever since we got back this year.” Sirius lowers his voice, eyebrows scrunching together just slightly. “It was being at home, wasn’t it? Something happened.” 
You flush, and Remus feels suddenly like this is a conversation he has no right to be in. Of course Sirius would be the one to pick up on it if  your family was what was making you act this way. No wonder he’d been so insistent they needed to get to the bottom of it. That’s something he can understand, whereas Remus and James never could. 
“Nothing happened,” you say, and Sirius narrows his eyes like he doesn’t believe you. “I just…okay, don’t be mad.” 
“No one is going to be mad at you, sweetheart,” Remus says, feeling like his heart is working its way up his throat with the words. “We’re just…you’ve seemed so different, and it’s scaring us a little bit. We just want to know what we can do to help.” 
You look hesitant, and James reaches forward, taking your hand in both of his and rubbing at it with his thumbs. You nod, seeming a bit more confident now, and say, “There’s nothing you can really do. I just need some time.” 
James nods back, looking at you with brown eyes big and open and understanding. Remus often wishes he could convey even half James’ earnestness, but he doesn’t know anyone with the same capacity for warmth. “Time for what, darling?”
You nibble on your lower lip, and Remus has to repress the urge to rescue it from between your teeth. “Well, we didn’t really get close until a couple months into fall term last year, right?”
“Right,” James agrees. 
“So…I wouldn’t expect you to know, but it always sort of takes me a bit to…adjust back to school life.” 
Sirius still looks like he wants to fight something, but he’s more careful to keep his anger out of his voice now. “Why’s that?”
You shrug. “You’re not wrong. My family isn’t always as…patient with me as you guys are. They’re not awful, it’s just, I get into a habit of being quieter around them.” Remus’ heart feels like lead in his chest. “It takes me a while to get out of the habit once I get back.” 
“Honey,” James murmurs, not looking much better than Remus feels. “I’m sorry.” 
You give him a little smile, shifting uncomfortably. “You don’t need to act like it’s such a tragedy,” you joke. “I’ll get over it soon.” 
James looks distressed, but Remus cuts in. “I’m sorry you don’t feel like you can be yourself at home, lovely girl,” he says in what he hopes is a light but soothing tone, unsure what you need right now but gathering from your demeanor that it’s not their pity. He slides his arm around your back to tug you closer to him. “Is there anything we can do to help?”
You hum contentedly, leaning against his side. “Not really,” you reply. “You guys are too good to me, it’s hard to be quiet around you for long.” 
“Good,” Sirius says firmly, “because we don’t want you to. Want to go scream off the astronomy tower, sweet thing? Maybe that’ll help loosen you up.” 
“Actually, I’d really like to clean up my mess before someone comes down here and steps on it,” you admit. “But maybe we can try your yelling thing tomorrow.”
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