#but i digressss

[zozo-01]

To Love the Sun (To Be Stuck in the Dark)

Originally, 'To Fight So Hard (To Lose So Quietly)' was going to be just one part. Buttttt @ejunkiet unintentionally gave me the idea for a part two, so here we are!

This is the complete work for the last WIP Wednesday and I apologize to everyone who found that really lil piece of writing cute. It was never going to be happy with me.

CW: Mentions of Major Character Death, Hurt/No Comfort, Angst 

--

Sam was making chocolate chip pancakes, just the way they liked them. With extra chocolate chips and the sweetest whip cream to top it all off. Darlin’ claims that they never had problems at the dentist, but Sam loves to call bullshit on them. 

“What? I swear I was never shit on by the dentist! In fact, they always complimented me on my teeth.” Darlin’ waltzed over to Sam, wrapping their arms around his neck. They tilted their head to the side with a saccharine grin, mock gasping at the accusation. “Samuel Collins. Are you calling me a liar?,” Darlin’ teased. Sam sighed before holding his Darlin’ by their waist. 

“My name isn’t short for Samuel, Darlin’, it’s just Sam. And why yes, I am calling you a liar, you menace. I refuse to believe with all the junk food you eat, your teeth aren’t rotting like a corpse. If I was your dentist, I’d charge you extra for every sweet treat you eat.”

Darlin’ gave a giggle that Sam swears were the sounds from the harps in heaven. “Well, maybe it’s more fun to say ‘Samuel Collins’ instead of just ‘Sam Collins’,” replied cheekily, with a smirk to match. “But, I promise that the dentist has never said anything about my teeth. Now can you pretty please make me pancakes.”

Sam rolled his eyes at Darlin’ pout. Who knew with the reputation Darlin’ held, that they can be so… adorable. He much prefers the puppy dog look they have over their usual wolf glare.

He went off to the kitchen to make Darlin’s beloved pancakes, with Darlin’ trailing close behind him. Once Sam started to gather the ingredients onto the counter, they hugged him from behind and started to gently kiss his shoulders and neck.

Sam let out a low chuckle before saying, “maybe I should start calling you ‘sugar’ for that sweet tooth you have.” Darlin’ stopped what they were doing and let out a scoff. They squeezed tighter before responding, “no, I like Darlin’ much better. I might think you’re angry at me if you don’t call me Darlin’.”

Sam squeezed an arm they had wrapped around his waist. A silent affirmation that he won’t be mad at them. “Sammy?,” Darlin' called out, their voice muffled due to their face buried in his back. Sam let out a quiet sound that prompted Darlin’ to continue. “Thank you for the pancakes.” 

Sam knew it wasn’t just the pancakes. It was for the fact that he was willing to help and heal a complete stranger. It was for the fact that he cared for them in times when they didn’t even care about themselves. For how he became a beacon of comfort. A place for Darlin’ to put down their weapons and armour. 

Sam turned around in Darlin’s arms and held their face in his hands, looking at them in their eyes. “Darlin’, you never have to thank me for anything, alright? I’ll always be here for you.”

“Forever and always?”

“Forever and always.”

Sam smiled to himself after replaying that memory. Happiness and excitement filled his body in a way only his wolf can do to him. He became elated when he remembers that Darlin’ was supposed to come by today. Hence why he was making chocolate chip pancakes.

Sam questioned if he has ever been this happy about anything. He thought about memories on his family’s ranch, his acceptance at D.A.M.N. and the friends he has made along the way, and nothing he has experienced can compare to how he felt about them. 

Who would have thought that a shifter trespassing on clan territory would make him feel like everything was worth it? Like it was destiny for him to be turned and meet Darlin’ later in life?

The world has put Sam Collins through a lot, but the one thing he will forever be grateful for is being able to feel the light of the sun again. 

A knock on the door shook Sam out of his thoughts. ‘Finally, they decided to show up. I was starting to get worried about them.’ Sam left the pancakes to cook on the stove and went to the door to open it. The closer he got to the door, the quicker his heart pounded. That was something he needed to get in control of before Darlin’ started to tease him for it. “Aren’t you supposed to be undead? How the hell do you still have a heartbeat?” he imagines them saying.

Sam stood in front of the door, with one thought going through his head.

‘The love of my life, my mate, my eternal sunshine, is standing behind the door. And I have the honour and privilege to have my house become a home for them. Our home.’

Sam opened the door.

It was not Darlin’ on the other side.

“David? What are you doing here?” Darlin’s Alpha was standing on his porch. His hair is messy and his eyes are bloodshot. David’s hands, usually firm and steady, were fidgeting. Like he didn’t know what to do with them. On his face was not his usual frown, the one that the majority of the public would see on a good day. Sam had seen this frown once before, and that was when the official death count from the Inversion was released to the public.

And that was a day of mourning.

With a raspy voice, David responded, “hello Sam. Is it alright if I come inside?” Sam moved to the side, gesturing to the Alpha to come in and make himself at home.

David walked in and sat down on the couch. He put his elbows on his knees and hands on his face, unable to look the vampire in the eye. “I assume that you were waiting for my packmate to come over, correct?” The way David asked the question unnerved Sam. His voice was shaky and his eyes were shining with tears. ‘What the hell happened to Darlin’ that made David Shaw about to cry?’ 

David was a man who seldom showed emotions. The last time he cried in front of another person that wasn’t his mate or late father was when his best friend was dying in his arms.

‘No, no, no! Darlin’ was tough. Fuck, they’re nickname growing up was ‘Tank’ for God’s sake!’

‘They can’t… there’s no way…’

David Shaw broke into sobs and Sam’s heart stopped.

His voice stuttered as he forced himself to say the next few sentences. “Fuck, I’m so sorry Sam. Quinn got to them on the way here and by the time we got there, they were already gone and there was no saving them.” The tears wouldn’t stop falling from David’s face, no matter how much he tried to stop them. No matter how much he wished this was another dream.

The smell of burnt chocolate wafted across the room as a realization occurred.

Sam Collins had the world he loves so very much ripped away from him again.

And for the second time in his life, Sam Collins was forbidden from feeling (his) sunlight on him again.

#i did ittttt #i got the angst out of my system (for nowww) #ironically the day that i posted the original fic #jason spezza retired #so you can argue that i wrote this because the leafs broke my heart (again) #but i digressss #also thank ejunkiet for giving me the idea and encouragement to make a part two #although you did this unintentionally #in your defence it doesnt take much to get me going on an angst train #maybeeeee ill write an actual fluff thing #but thats a hugeee maybe #zo writes tingz #this is zo speaking #redacted sam #redacted david #redacted asmr

[constellationcrowned]

Kariom & The Traveler ( * )

#;;ooc: dash games #sad that you can barely see the rounded glasses option but I digressss

[tryin-everyday]

Day 1

Was such a long day *phew*...college was better than I'd expected

(Did sm joe dispenza meditation early on)

I'm starting clinics this yr nd they gave us a tour of the department (orientation...nd it's gonna go on for 6 more days)

I'm so happy we gon deal w actual patients nd not mannequins anymore

I'm glad I'm 5' 9🙂(I digressss)

Trip to the airport cause uncle left yest

Had a long ass nap

Jotted down imp points from college

Went to meet up w granny...the stories we shared were fun

(I'm so excited for life rn...I don't want it any other way, imma meditate now, bye)

#dentist #university #stem #student #studyblr #studyblr space #college #studyspo #study space #study mode #studying #gradblr #study inspo #dentistry #tooth fairy #study tips #study inspiration #study motivation #study with me #ramble #desi #we got this #student life #study study study #study aesthetic #study blog #studyblr community

[papermccn]

𖤐 hello here is my official event starter call! - i put some poor little blurbs for my muses too! i just ask that it be limited to, 3 per mun! c: i'll be limiting each muse to 4 starters ty !!𖤐

𖤐elena gilbert- trying to help people-won't hesitate to fight if needed. 1/4 caroline

𖤐 homura akemi- has guns ready- being protective over madoka- but any friends she has here- she'll do her best to protect as well. isn't scared- angry more or less, sick of this shit. 0/4

𖤐jinx- thrives on chaos; thinks this is fun.. oop, 2/4 misa,cyrus

𖤐nami- she's scared, she hates it here. -if you know nami- have fun being her shield. she can fight- but would prefer not to; :(( 0/4

𖤐 tifa lockhart- she's a fighter, she's afraid don't get me wrong but knows the shit she has survived- she can take on anything. ( hopefully idk), 0/4

𖤐natalie highgrove- is it bad she's probably just?? shrugging her shoulders- she has a really idc attitude.. she'll protect her sister- her 'mom' and people she cares about- but I can't see her actively freaking out. 0/4

𖤐amber freeman- tara is who she strives to protect; she's probably amused- watching everyone run crazy. but that's because she's a little .. off :) 1/4 billy

𖤐molly- raised in a mob family, angel's twin sister- she can be fearless when needed. i'm sure she knows how to use a gun- will protect those closest to her- yeah she went to heaven?? but have u seen her family?? 0/4

𖤐elaine st john- a vampire, strives in chaos I like to think- will protect those she cares for.. but the ones she care for- are mostly vamps too, but I digressss. 0/4

𖤐vaggie- u know the angry emoji? that is vaggie- she's so done with washington's bullshit- not even scared. I mean fuck charlie doesn't remember, she's just been pissed and an angry ball lately- so this hardly phases her. 1/4 niffty

𖤐azula- can money buy us out of this one?? no but seriously shes protecting kiyi- everyone else is whatever, and as if this phases her.. -ooh maybe we can unlock some of that firebending she forgot. 1/4 aang

𖤐draculaura- SCARED, shes a vampire! but she doesn't consume blood- she doesn't like to hurt people. -so when it comes to having to defend herself- she's afraid.. help, 1/4 louise

𖤐 octavia- again another nonchalant muse- she's scared but has a powerful father- and she legit.. came from hell?? idk, probably a little stressed out- but hey even murder has no fury like pissing off her dad. 0/4

𖤐moxxie- guns ablazing- he has his millie- he's ready to kick ass.. is it not his job to already unalive humans?? what changes here- especially if he needs to defend.. 1/4 loona

𖤐michonne hawthorne- protecting rick, judith ( even if she doesnt remember) she will protect her family like she always has. you can't scare her. 0/4

𖤐martha hatter- legit that sad hamster meme- that's her. why can't the world just be happy and sunshine and rainbows?? why is there scary stuff happening, :(( 0/4

𖤐 dahlia dogan - she's a boss bitch- but can someone boss bitch their way out of this? probably not, she's probably scared but trying to act like she's tough. i can't see her hurting anyone though. 1/4 ben

𖤐 calcifer- maybe the mojo dojo casa moving house wasn't so bad! maybe he even misses it! but for real, he's annoyed- how fucking inconvenient ? he can't just play games with howl??? how rude. he will protecc 0/4

𖤐 scout too long of a fucking name- man only knows about dinosaur- kens job is beach- his job is dinosaur. i can see him maybe taking some knowledge from his... large line of family who are in medical- he can probs aid in wound care- is going to be protective. 0/4

𖤐 lucifer morningstar- oh he's fucking loves this- he thrives in chaos- he probably thinks his dad is getting a kick out of this shit. but he will protect if you're close to him, 1/4 dream

𖤐richard gecko- again man creates chaos why wouldn't he sort of thrive in it? it's annoying but the shit he's seen and been through- ez. 1/4 a xiang

𖤐lucy maclean- OKIE DOKIE!! ugh seriously she should've never left the vault- shit always goes wrong, she's tough. she can protect and defend if needed. :) 0/4

𖤐 sanna marchon- she just got back from being ded?? why?? is this happening? she's scared, but she can fight- but why must she?? u ever ask urself that,w hy.?? 0/4

𖤐 hilda teufel- protecting her girls, she doesn't care what happens to her- she just wants to make sure her lil family is okay. 0/4

𖤐teucer- :(( he's just a little guy, he's too kind for this shit. seriously he'll protect people if he must, he doesn't wanna see anyone get hurt. 0/4

𖤐 shen xingxing -annoyed, i doubt she knows how to really use any weapons?? maybe she's the type of character where you see them- they're cute and smol- but they can throw some serious punches- maybe stab u with the heel of their shoe? u get it. ya that's her. 0/4

𖤐 fionna campbell- she has a sword and a dream- i need to plot for her- but if you wanna be friends with her- they will do their damnest to protect you. c: 0/4

#cursing tw #( a lot of it idk waht happened) #weapon mention tw #hw: starter call #hw: plot call

[coffeeastronaut]

this isnt anything but also i do think its weird how many go fans view crowley as like some etherial gender fiend and then aziraphale as like. hes a man but im woke and say hes nonbinary. but hes a man. but both of them [in the show] dress like masculine mostly? and between the two of them aziraphale is the one with more obviously ‘feminine’ gestures (which is because he is a gay man on purpose but i digressss). anyway. my point is that i think it happens because crowley is skinny and aziraphale is fat + the fat gender bias. thanks

#mi #idk. it just bothers me sometimes i read fic or whatever of az being A Man from the beginning to the wnd whwre crowley goes through six #genders and a hat change. and part of that is crowleys ever changing look and aziraphales comparative stolidity BUT also idk. idk idk where #im going with this anymore. idk. #ig to me in my head theyve always matched genders the way married couples match outfits. you know. so that they can be gay on purpose always #but anyway like i said. i think the difference is that show az is visibly fat wherase in the book its well. a book. no pictures. so you can #forget if youre a pussy bitch

[dollscircus]

shout out to jays guy for letting me take a shot of his captain morgan

thinkkkk he wanted me to go home with him but i digressss

got the snap of another cute guy, who also wanted me to go home with him but i like lowkey ignored him for this girl who lives in the same neighborhood as meeeeee, but he was sweet so its ok

dont drink on an empty stomach kiddossss

- :)

Hello friend, I’m well aware not to drink on an empty stomach.

You good there? Having fun?

#:) bitch :)

[shirubiaowo]

aaaa!!!! sorry i just got home! congrats on 400!!!!! you deserve it!!!!!! <333333333333333333333333333333333

AHHHHH LEMONNNNNNN TYSM LOVE 😭😭🥺🥺🥺

Never apologize life is more important than tumblr

#AHHHHH #idk if I deserve it since I take hiatuses every other two weeks #but I DIGRESSSS #Ahhh ILYSM LEMONNNNNN #HNNNNNNNNN #<333333333333 #lemon!!

[coffeegrlcreamwrld]

i also feel like I’ve been struggling because to me, I don’t look as femme as I feel.

and I know you don’t need hair to look feminine but between my short hair and and very strong facial features I just don’t feel like my best. Never mind it’s hard for me to dresss super femme when I’m freezing my ass off in Chicago but I digressss

#cgcw

[sierratheory]

feels so weird when crystals influencer friends promote calm on their ig but they only tag her and Michael! Some did tag the band account but I saw many that didn’t

I'm willing to bet Crystal herself gave them to cue to tag things that way, which would be far from surprising if true, buuut I digressss.

#ask #anon #owner

[alloveroliver]

I love love your blog so much!!! You always fill my sweet n saucy need for ikémen boys :-) could you write “try to stay quiet for me. Can you do that?” with MC x Sirius?? I need some more sweet Dom Sirius in my life

Hello! Thank you so much! I am happy to have you here XD. DOM SIRIUS IS MY FAVVV apart from dom!Oliver but I digressss. I hope you like the fic!

#flash fiction event

[zozo-01]

"politics have no place in sports-"

politics have always had a place in sports, from legends like muhammad ali and bill russel participating in the 60s civil rights movement to the montreal insisting on it's players and executives to speak french to maintain separation from the canadian goverment.

like, players have thoughts and opinions that clash with the government all the time and they should be able to speak out on them, especially when it comes to human rights.

and like, conservative people also insert their politics in sports too. have you seen the amount of military propaganda in football? it's wild.

all entertainment has political implications to it, people just want to insert their beliefs onto people and sports is nothing different.

#jidsjcis random thoughts from zo #yes part of it is cuz of the 'political ban' from the fifa #but i digressss #zo's sports (trauma) thoughts #this is zo speaking

[musicfordinner]

What do you reach for in times of stress/depression/sadness? What’s on your sad boy/sad girl playlist???

Let’s get into it — I feel like this is going to be marginally embarrassing for me, but here we go. I’m going to take a screenshot via Marvis Pro app, which — if you have an iPhone and are an Apple Music subscriber/music nerd you might as well buy Marvis, but I digressss...

So we got a little:

Joni Mitchell, balanced out by some Coldplay — yo I don’t care, Parachutes is Coldplay’s best record! Fight me!!!

Okay my real reason I made this whole post is how much I fucking hate John Mayer but love that goddamn album Heavier Things. Add in some Sade and we’re moving!

Next, we have some Jack Johnson overkilled by heaps and heaps of Jann Arden. Okay, so sidebar: I loveeeee Jann Arden. Call it in my Canadian sensibilities but I love all the Adult Contemp Canuck chanteuses, Jann, Sarah, Serena, Alanis, Amanda... you name her, I love her. Jann and Sarah are topped for the upper echelon tho, there’s something about their voices that sit in my sad girl heart and bring me levels of comfort.

Next, Tina Dico — a forever fave. A soothing favourite alongside City and Colour and my main main main bitch Laura Marling.. who’s got this voice that makes me want to cry but also heals every single part of me on levels.

Amel Larrieux meets Tears for Fears? 🙈Okay, so I’m not ashamed to say that I love Tears for Fears. I do. Sue me. They’re amazing, a little heartbreak 80s pop, they’re amazing and Amel?! Voice of an Angel.

Sometimes I like to rage which is where Alexisonfire, At the Drive In, Anathema, Kelis and Lauryn Hill come in.

Anyway, I’m sad because my dad has COVID. It was inevitable that someone in my family would get it. Now I’m just upset and looking for something to soothe my internal anguish.

My whole weekend is fucked yo. All I have is these albums, for now.

#chantel’s sound diary #quarantine #self isolation #music journal #choice trax #music diary #music nerd #apple music #music nerds #music dreams #fuck covid

[thief-of-shadows]

((Believe me I miss Thief/Godling too

they’re only together in like... maybe the DMMD verse, which we don’t do a lot, and is honestly just thinly veiled Aoba/Clear

but I digressss))

#ooc #me and ten have been friends for so fuckin long???? #i wanna say like #at least 3 years? #sO IF YOU MISS THIEF/GODLING #THERE'S 3 YEARS WORTH OF RPS IF YOU DIG #lmao

[raitrolling]

perhapSS i need to FFind a new perSSon i can truSSt to accompany me on cheeSSe taSSting tourSS, aSS when i am deciding on what foodSS SShall be on the platterSS FFor eventSS, i do like having a SSecond opinion FFor everything. my employees are either too agreeable or too apathetic to have their own opinion on the matter, which makeSS their input, quite FFrankly, entirely uSSeleSSSS.

... and the only acquaintance oFF mine who can make time in their SSchedule FFor an impromptu outing - perhapSS becauSSe they lack a SSchedule in the FFirSSt place! - iSS only intereSSted in tagging along FFor the FFree paired alcohol with each cheeSSe. iFF i were to be perFFectly honeSSt, i would have preSSumed that a SSuppoSSed ‘proper’ tyrianblood would not reSSort to SSuch cheap tacticSS, but i digreSSSS.

#open rp #fantroll open #viltau espino #comes up with an open right as im about to go to bed lmao

[sagitaspeaks]

having the thought processssess of all my alt sselvess laid out before me iss getting...taxing. to elaborate, jaecar, our Knight of Mind, and cerami, our Rogue of Time...or. well. ssome verssionss of them...I digressss. in a doomed ssessssion...they ran a fraymotif together that, above all elsse, sserved to...presserve. cerami could accessss other timeliness and sso they created...convergenssess. ssircumsstancess can trigger memoriess that were never mine, and my lonelinessss lately iss...exasserbating thiss. one thought recurss consstantly. ass everyone knowss...I am a lover of mussic. sso the avarisse with which I ssay thiss...iss not...losst on me.

I jusst keep remembering another verssion of me breaking people to get the mussic out of them, in creakss and groanss. thiss iss battering on me like a wave on a sshore, the dessire to...break. to ssubssume. the trouble iss...I am sstarting to losse track of why doing sso iss wrong.

perhapss I have jusst gotten too lonely in my abyssss of a lagoon...but thiss...pullss at me. I need...disstraction.

#Fantrolls #fic I guess!! #mostly me fiddling with his quirk and giving some Good Good lore