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zozo-01 · 2 years

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To Love the Sun (To Be Stuck in the Dark)

Originally, 'To Fight So Hard (To Lose So Quietly)' was going to be just one part. Buttttt @ejunkiet unintentionally gave me the idea for a part two, so here we are!

This is the complete work for the last WIP Wednesday and I apologize to everyone who found that really lil piece of writing cute. It was never going to be happy with me.

CW: Mentions of Major Character Death, Hurt/No Comfort, Angst

Sam was making chocolate chip pancakes, just the way they liked them. With extra chocolate chips and the sweetest whip cream to top it all off. Darlin’ claims that they never had problems at the dentist, but Sam loves to call bullshit on them.

“What? I swear I was never shit on by the dentist! In fact, they always complimented me on my teeth.” Darlin’ waltzed over to Sam, wrapping their arms around his neck. They tilted their head to the side with a saccharine grin, mock gasping at the accusation. “Samuel Collins. Are you calling me a liar?,” Darlin’ teased. Sam sighed before holding his Darlin’ by their waist.

“My name isn’t short for Samuel, Darlin’, it’s just Sam. And why yes, I am calling you a liar, you menace. I refuse to believe with all the junk food you eat, your teeth aren’t rotting like a corpse. If I was your dentist, I’d charge you extra for every sweet treat you eat.”

Darlin’ gave a giggle that Sam swears were the sounds from the harps in heaven. “Well, maybe it’s more fun to say ‘Samuel Collins’ instead of just ‘Sam Collins’,” replied cheekily, with a smirk to match. “But, I promise that the dentist has never said anything about my teeth. Now can you pretty please make me pancakes.”

Sam rolled his eyes at Darlin’ pout. Who knew with the reputation Darlin’ held, that they can be so… adorable. He much prefers the puppy dog look they have over their usual wolf glare.

He went off to the kitchen to make Darlin’s beloved pancakes, with Darlin’ trailing close behind him. Once Sam started to gather the ingredients onto the counter, they hugged him from behind and started to gently kiss his shoulders and neck.

Sam let out a low chuckle before saying, “maybe I should start calling you ‘sugar’ for that sweet tooth you have.” Darlin’ stopped what they were doing and let out a scoff. They squeezed tighter before responding, “no, I like Darlin’ much better. I might think you’re angry at me if you don’t call me Darlin’.”

Sam squeezed an arm they had wrapped around his waist. A silent affirmation that he won’t be mad at them. “Sammy?,” Darlin' called out, their voice muffled due to their face buried in his back. Sam let out a quiet sound that prompted Darlin’ to continue. “Thank you for the pancakes.”

Sam knew it wasn’t just the pancakes. It was for the fact that he was willing to help and heal a complete stranger. It was for the fact that he cared for them in times when they didn’t even care about themselves. For how he became a beacon of comfort. A place for Darlin’ to put down their weapons and armour.

Sam turned around in Darlin’s arms and held their face in his hands, looking at them in their eyes. “Darlin’, you never have to thank me for anything, alright? I’ll always be here for you.”

“Forever and always?”

“Forever and always.”

Sam smiled to himself after replaying that memory. Happiness and excitement filled his body in a way only his wolf can do to him. He became elated when he remembers that Darlin’ was supposed to come by today. Hence why he was making chocolate chip pancakes.

Sam questioned if he has ever been this happy about anything. He thought about memories on his family’s ranch, his acceptance at D.A.M.N. and the friends he has made along the way, and nothing he has experienced can compare to how he felt about them.

Who would have thought that a shifter trespassing on clan territory would make him feel like everything was worth it? Like it was destiny for him to be turned and meet Darlin’ later in life?

The world has put Sam Collins through a lot, but the one thing he will forever be grateful for is being able to feel the light of the sun again.

A knock on the door shook Sam out of his thoughts. ‘Finally, they decided to show up. I was starting to get worried about them.’ Sam left the pancakes to cook on the stove and went to the door to open it. The closer he got to the door, the quicker his heart pounded. That was something he needed to get in control of before Darlin’ started to tease him for it. “Aren’t you supposed to be undead? How the hell do you still have a heartbeat?” he imagines them saying.

Sam stood in front of the door, with one thought going through his head.

‘The love of my life, my mate, my eternal sunshine, is standing behind the door. And I have the honour and privilege to have my house become a home for them. Our home.’

Sam opened the door.

It was not Darlin’ on the other side.

“David? What are you doing here?” Darlin’s Alpha was standing on his porch. His hair is messy and his eyes are bloodshot. David’s hands, usually firm and steady, were fidgeting. Like he didn’t know what to do with them. On his face was not his usual frown, the one that the majority of the public would see on a good day. Sam had seen this frown once before, and that was when the official death count from the Inversion was released to the public.

And that was a day of mourning.

With a raspy voice, David responded, “hello Sam. Is it alright if I come inside?” Sam moved to the side, gesturing to the Alpha to come in and make himself at home.

David walked in and sat down on the couch. He put his elbows on his knees and hands on his face, unable to look the vampire in the eye. “I assume that you were waiting for my packmate to come over, correct?” The way David asked the question unnerved Sam. His voice was shaky and his eyes were shining with tears. ‘What the hell happened to Darlin’ that made David Shaw about to cry?’

David was a man who seldom showed emotions. The last time he cried in front of another person that wasn’t his mate or late father was when his best friend was dying in his arms.

‘No, no, no! Darlin’ was tough. Fuck, they’re nickname growing up was ‘Tank’ for God’s sake!’

‘They can’t… there’s no way…’

David Shaw broke into sobs and Sam’s heart stopped.

His voice stuttered as he forced himself to say the next few sentences. “Fuck, I’m so sorry Sam. Quinn got to them on the way here and by the time we got there, they were already gone and there was no saving them.” The tears wouldn’t stop falling from David’s face, no matter how much he tried to stop them. No matter how much he wished this was another dream.

The smell of burnt chocolate wafted across the room as a realization occurred.

Sam Collins had the world he loves so very much ripped away from him again.

And for the second time in his life, Sam Collins was forbidden from feeling (his) sunlight on him again.

#i did ittttt #i got the angst out of my system (for nowww)#ironically the day that i posted the original fic #jason spezza retired #so you can argue that i wrote this because the leafs broke my heart (again)#but i digressss #also thank ejunkiet for giving me the idea and encouragement to make a part two #although you did this unintentionally #in your defence it doesnt take much to get me going on an angst train #maybeeeee ill write an actual fluff thing #but thats a hugeee maybe #zo writes tingz #this is zo speaking #redacted sam #redacted david #redacted asmr

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willietheguy · 2 years

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Congrats on your retirement Vintage! Thank you! 💙

#nhl #go leafs go #nhl hockey #hockey #toronto maple leafs #maple leafs #tml #jason spezza #vintage #spezza #retired

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readyfreddy · 2 years

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Nobody told me that Jason Spezza just announced his retirement

#im bittersweet about it #i wanted to see him lift a cup with the leafs #maybe he pulls a Tom Brady abd unretires #happy retirement #leafs lb #toronto maple leafs #nhl #hockey #jason spezza #tml

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archaicbro · 11 months

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i think pensblr needs to put the honeytrap jokes away for a moment and realize how kyle dubas completely changed the leafs organization from the cesspool of paranoia, old boy's club mentality, and dyed in the wool haughtiness about their fading, decrepit legacy that it was around lou lamoriello's time

off the top of my head, there is legitimate concern, hurt, anger, and confusion kyle's sudden dismissal brought to the org. staff members who were willing to ride the year out with kyle without future prospects were persuaded by kyle to accept the 1 to 3 year bridge deals he negotiated on their behalf for their and their family's security. team members spoke anonymously about their—to put it mildly—disappointment with how the brief negotiations shook out.

that's because kyle, from the moment he was promoted to AGM after helping the marlies win the calder cup for the first time in franchise history, has always placed an emphasis on fostering an environment in which every person is valued, and given the best conditions to thrive in. to him, it's simple: value your employees and players, and they will give you endless passion.

SPEAKING OF WHICH

"the passion": it's in kyle's blood. it was in him as a child, crying about another leafs exit;

it was in him as as a first time gm of the sault ste marie greyhounds in 2011, when he wanted to capture "the passion, energy, and enthusiasm of the organization and the city of Sault Ste. Marie" through The Rising, the 100-page blueprint in a binder that presented a vision of a memorial cup-winning greyhounds;

it was in him when he talked to brendan shanahan (boo tomato tomato) for nine hours and convinced the leafs pres that he was somebody who would make the leafs "a better organization if he joins us."

he wanted to see this passion reflected naturally in his staff and especially his players.

developing players, for kyle, was never just about their on-ice performance. their immersion and willingness to be in the community they play for, especially for marginalized sectors, and seeing that they play for more than a logo was important to kyle. he wanted them to develop as people too—leaving books in player stalls aside—because he cares for them as much as he cares for his staff.

just look at him staying at the hospital with ilya mikheyev for three days in new jersey when mikheyev's wrist was slit by a hockey blade

or him flying to switzerland to talk to william nylander and his camp about his contract, and telling him multiple times that "as long as he’s here he’s not going to trade me.”

or defending mitch marner against the maddened mob, time and again

OR him running down from the press box, hurriedly calling aryne tavares as he rushes to where john tavares was laid out on the ice, because he "would never want the family to not be aware of what was happening."

(or kyle offering jason spezza a position in the front office, possibly before retirement, and engendering such loyalty in him that spezza walked out after him)

how his players feel is important to kyle as it affects everything about their performance: "...we want to convey to the players is that, yes, we’re here to try to maximize their potential as players and as athletes, but players aren’t going to be able to maximize their potential if the person is not at their best, whether it’s because of relationship issues or mental health issues."

building a holistic hockey team has been kyle's dream since he woke up one day unable to pursue a career in hockey on-ice. once it was clear from age 14 that he will never play professionally, he poured his life into winning the cup from the office.

he believes it's his sole responsibility "to combine wanting to be an organization that's about getting the best out of every single person, and being able to parlay that into the organization having its greatest amount of success". he wants everyone to see how their individual contributions, no matter how small, impact the team at large.

analytics and this set of personal criteria set the bar for his hires. and once he sees a person buy in, he buys in to them too.

maybe to a fault.

kyle considered moving his core back in 2021, despite stubbornly fighting for them for years, acquiring mentors who would teach them how to ground themselves, coaching each player to block out the external noise of pundits and malicious fans—to believing in themselves and the team they are a part of.

"the time for sentiment has come and gone," he said. he's learned, year after year, that hard work hardly works. that, perhaps, he should not be as loyal or patient to the vision he shares with his team.

but these very traits—loyalty, patience, hard work, passion—lead to the maple leafs making it out of the first round of the playoffs for the first time in 19 years.

19 years. the age kyle was when the leafs fell to the flyers in the second round in 2004.

and yet, for everything he did. well.

we did our raging. our complaining. but you would never see kyle do the same.

"“What makes him unique is that he’ll never sit back and complain about something,” said Megan Dubas, who worked alongside her brother as the Greyhounds director of game-day operations and community relations. “He’s always so positive. He’s never made excuses for himself if he failed. He would never blame anyone else. He would take the responsibility for that. And his ability to learn and take everything in is unbelievable.”

the pens are inheriting this man. this man who wants others to believe in the tean who believes in them. who understands how your humanity can transform the space you are in. who knows, intimately, that you need to be patient, push out of your comfort zone to do your best work, make people feel how loyal you are to this dream you are building together.

the passion that will see you blaze a path to your destiny.

and given how the pens core are shaped by these qualities, i think our team is in the right hands.

#kyle dubas #pittsburgh penguins #hockey #nhl #potato post

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sergeifyodorov · 4 months

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who are your favorite retired players? you dont have to do one a team unless you want lol

i definitely won't be able to do one a team but by god will i try. manipulating this all a little bit so that im literally just picking anyone iconic who was on that team at one point, not how they were when they were on that team specifically

bruins: can't say i didn't really like patrice bergeron tbh

panthers: pavel bure!! that one photo of him that was in the newspaper and then they had to print more copies of the newspaper because he was Just That Sexy.... anyway

maple leafs: ... so many options... borje salming

lightning: nope

red wings: steven. steve gregory yzerman. stevie y. The Captain.

canadiens: kennifer dryden

sabres: alex mogilny!!

senators: jason spezza...

rangers: nope

hurricanes: activating the HARTFORD WHALERS CLAUSE to say gordie. my beloved gordie...

islanders: mike bossy pour one out for mike bossy

flyers: nope

devils: nope

penguins: JAROMIR JAGR

capitals: SERGEI FEDOROV

blue jackets: nope

jets: dustin "big buff" byfuglien

avalanche: nope

stars: soft spot for mike modano tbh

predators: pekka

blues: brendan shanahan the handsome sonofabitch

coyotes: nope

wild: nope

blackhawks: nope

canucks: IGOR LARIONOV

not including the golden knights or kraken because they're too young to have anyone on them of note who's retired lmao

kings: nope

oilers: grant fuhr actually i don't know who wayne gretzky is and i don't care

flames: jarome iginla

ducks: i was gonna say fedorov here actually lmao. saying fedorov twice

sharks: joe thornton and patrick marleau because i believe in old man yaoi

#asks

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butterflyintochains · 13 days

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Those Who Tried

Just a little fun thing I wanted to try out. Some instances of people who tried - and failed - to sway our two brunet defencemen from each other. Four for Erik, and Four for Kris. No slander to anyone involved here, just having fun!

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EK - Jason Spezza

Jason knows that this will make him look incredibly fucking stupid. But, sometimes you've got to take the plunge, right? Do the thing even if it makes you look or feel like a complete idiot after the fact. He's not blind, nor is he stupid. Erik is, objectively speaking, drop dead gorgeous, and - for all intents and purposes - single. So, because life's too short, he's gonna do it today. If he doesn't, someone will absolutely beat him to it. This will work, right? He's the captain for a reason, right? So, fuck it. During training, he skates over to Erik, who is re-taping his stick. ''Hey, Karl, can I ask you something real quick? It's... batshit crazy, but, can I?''

Erik smiles brightly, sweeping his long hair aside before putting his helmet back on. ''Sure, Spez, what's going on?''

Jason swallows to ease the dryness in his throat. ''Well, I was wondering if you'd like to go get dinner with me sometime?'' Erik stops dead, brown eyes flashing between disbelief, anger, and something he can't give a name to. ''Like, a date, you mean?''

Jason stutters out, feeling like a bomb has been lit under his feet. ''Well... yeah, I suppose so. What d'you say?''

Erik firmly says, skating away, as if to put as much space between the two as possible, drawing a literal line in the ice. ''No, I'm sorry, Jason. There's someone else.'' Is all he says, it's all he has to say. Jason has no idea who the other person is, but whoever they are, Erik clearly adores them.

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KL - Brian Dumoulin

There's not too many people in this league that truly turn heads, make everyone stop what they're doing and admire them. Too many busted noses and missing teeth. But, Kris Letang is not one of those with no teeth and a fucked up nose. Nope, all perfect features, long hair, swagger aplenty, and strength of character. Where that stroke would have retired anyone else, Kris stands strong at their captain's hip every game. There's something captivating about his partner. So, he takes the matter up with Flower. ''Hey, Flower, is Tanger spoken for?''

Flower's eyes blow wide, as if Brian has two heads for even thinking that let alone asking that. ''You really wanna open that door, eh, rookie?''

Brian shrugs. ''Well, maybe? I dunno, is he spoken for?'' They look over to Kris, who is beaming an ethereal smile while texting someone from his stall. ''Dumo, you're a good kid, truly, you are. But,'' Ah, there it is, the stipulation he was dreading. ''Kris has been spoken for for a bit of a long time. I don't know all the details, but he's likely texting his partner.''

Brian curses himself, of course someone else snapped up the best looking guy in the entire league, who wouldn't? ''Fuck.''

Flower claps him on the shoulder. ''Plenty more fish in the sea, mon ami.''

Kris doesn't even register their presence, too engrossed in whoever he's texting with, not even Sid rising to give a little captain speech can tear him away from his phone. ''Tanger, you with us?'' Sid asks. Kris hastily puts his phone away. ''Oh, yeah... yeah, oui.'' He's beet red, the colour harsh against his black jersey.

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EK - Brent Burns

Brent is nothing if not honest with himself, he's not the regal viking like Erik is, but he has heart to more than make up for it. Still, he's not immune to Karlsson's numerous charms. Or his unfair good looks. Rumour among Team Canada and Team Sweden has it Erik is taken, deeply and madly in love with someone out east. He's been betting with Jumbo as to who it is, and trying to wrangle it out of the swede as well. But, lately, he's been to depressed to even speak to anyone. San Jose was nominally a fresh start after the 2017 playoffs. But, Erik seems plagued by something heavy. ''Erik, are you okay, man?''

Erik shrugs, tying his skates for a training session. ''Just... got lost in my head, that's all.''

Brent asks further, not intruding, just curious. ''Why? What's wrong?'' Erik looks wistful, nostalgic for something. ''It's just, January, y'know?''

Jumbo says, taking the caring older brother route. ''Help us out, Karl, why is January so depressing for you?''

Erik smiles sadly, eyes glazing over. ''Six years ago this month, I found the love of my life. And, six months ago, I fucking threw it all away like the idiot I am.'' With that, Erik grabs his stick, and all but runs out of the dressing room. Wow... six years of a love so deep two entire national teams are gossiping about it, and it's all over? Brent now feels dirty for even thinking he'd be good with Erik, given how heartbroken his partner seems to be. And, how in love he still is.

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KL - Olli Maatta

Olli didn't know what to think when the usually so insular top defenceman on his team came back from San Jose practically buzzing with euphoria. Truth be told, no one did. No one in the room has seen Kris this happy in ages, it's almost jarring to see the beaming smile on his face as he strides to his stall for morning skate. ''Tanger, you okay? This is weird.'' Horny asks.

Kris nods, running his hand through his long dark hair, famous league wide. ''Me? Yeah, I'm just great, Horny. Why'd you ask?'' Phil says, looking equally concerned. ''It's just that you look so happy all of a sudden.''

Kris picks up his helmet and stick, and declares. ''I have plenty of reasons for that, Thrill, believe me.''

After skate, Olli decides to capitalise on the legend's happiness, and approaches him. ''Hey, Kris, uhm, can I talk to you a sec?'' Kris smiles, and says. ''Sure, Olli,'' Only for his phone to ring, he answers it. ''I am so sorry, hold on.''

Olli says. ''Yeah, that's fine.''

Kris answers in french, face lit up like a christmas tree. ''Bonjour, amour.'' There's a short pause, then he says. ''What hoodie, amour? My Val D'Or one?'' Another pause. ''Thought so, keep it, it looks good on you.'' Another short pause, Kris smiles. ''Yes, I'm sure.'' Another pause, Kris is beaming now. ''Okay, je t'aime aussi, see you when you come here again.'' He hangs up, and turns back to Olli, who is now just curious. ''Sorry, Olli, what did you wanna talk about.''

Olli swallows, feeling like he should not have heard that half of whatever conversation that was. ''Nothing, forget it.'' He grabs his stuff, and heads out to his car.

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EK - Logan Couture

First game back from Christmas break of the first semi-normal season since Covid ruined everything. The team have a long flight to Pennsylvania for their game against Pittsburgh. As captain of this team, it's Logan's job to notice everything, even the things no one else would. But, not even he needs to look far to find the only person happy to be flying all this way. He's currently answering a phone call as they take off for the east. ''Right on cue, hjartat, we've just taken off.'' A short pause comes, Erik looks out the window, in what looks to be anticipation. ''I know, first time in a while we'll be able to crash at yours after the game.'' Hjartat? Crash at yours? Huh? ''You wouldn't dare, and we both know it.'' Erik's cocky voice quickly turns soft and comforting. ''Hjartat, I just got you back, I'm not throwing you away over anything, okay?'' A brief pause takes over. ''I promise, it's you and me, right?'' Another tiny pause comes. ''Okay, jag alskar dag, see you really soon, hjartat.'' Erik hangs up.

Ever one for some good gossip, Logan asks his teammate. ''Who's the lucky one, Karl?''

Erik just chuckles, and puts his head back for some sleep. ''You'd never believe me if I told you, Logan.''

That hits like a Chara body check, It's been a while since he's seen Erik so at peace, it's almost too alluring to pass up. But, there's someone else in his heart... someone in Pittsburgh. Logan feels on the cusp of some revelation, but it just won't come to him.

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KL - Brandon Tanev

Turbo feels like such a fucking idiot right now, they've just beaten the Sharks 8-5 in their house, but Brandon feels like he's been sent on a suicide mission when he goes to ask Tanger after they're back in street clothes. ''Hey, Tanger, team dinner? Maybe some drinks?'' Kris just shoots him an unfairly beautiful smile, the kind he usually reserves for when he's on the phone with whoever he's constantly on the phone with. ''I'd love to, Turbo, but can't.''

Tanny knows logically he should quit while he's ahead, he's been shot down, that should be good enough, but he's an idiot. ''Yeah? Why not?''

Kris checks his hair in a mirror on the wall, and smooths down his suit. ''Got someone special in town, Turbo. Can't miss this night with them, it might be my last until summer.'' His phone pings in his hand, his face lights up. ''That'll be them, gotta go, see you boys later!'' Kris sprints off to meet up with the person from his phone, Turbo looks to Sid, who looks equally as confused as he feels. Tanger keeping secrets from the team is one thing. But, from Sid as well? ''Do you know who he's talking about?''

Sid just says. ''Not even a little bit, Turbo. But, with him this happy, I don't dare ask.''

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EK - Lars Eller

Lars has always found Erik handsome, charming too, almost unfairly so. And, the two are quite good friends, so what if things could evolve now that they're both Penguins? Who knows? They could make quite a nice pair, it would be fucking hilarious, a Swede and a Dane. He's noticed Erik gravitating towards Kris lately, always sitting together on the bench or plane, sharing a joke. So, he asks Kris for advice. ''Hey, Kris, can I get your opinion on something?''

Kris says, finishing his gatorade. ''Sure, shoot.''

Lars asks, suddenly feeling as though he shouldn't. ''Do you think I would have a shot with Karl.'' Kris's jaw tenses, barely visible with his beard, but it's obvious. Knuckles white from his grip on his stick. ''Hate to be the bearer of bad news, Tiger, but he's taken.''

Of fucking course he is, typical. ''Really? Who's the lucky person?'' Kris takes to the ice again, a wry grin on his face. ''Take a lucky guess.''

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KL - PO Joseph

''I am so fucking stupid, I am so fucking stupid.'' PO says, slumping down on the sofa in Drew's condo.

Drew jokingly says, scrolling through some NHL news on his phone, relaxed in an armchair by the windows. ''I'm sure you're right, but elaborate, please. I'm bored and want some gossip.'' PO says, taking his hand off his face. ''Promise not to be all judgy?''

Drew simply says. ''Depends on what you're about to tell me, but go ahead.''

PO seems to need to muster up the guts to tell him this, but after some moments of silence, he blurts out. ''I asked Kris out today.'' Drew almost drops his phone on his face. He adores his best friend, he really does, but... what the hell was he thinking? ''Pierre, please, for the love of God, tell me Karl wasn't there.''

PO half sighs-half groans, Drew rolls his eyes as PO says. ''Karl was there. Why is that important, though?''

Drew informs his best friend. ''Because, Pierre, Karl and Tanger are together, and have been longer than we've been in the league.'' PO asks, indignant. ''How the hell do you know that?''

Drew rolls his eyes again, and says. ''Rusty told me when I was put on Sid's line with him. Anyway, that's not important, what did they do?'' PO recounts. ''Tanger just politely let me down, Karl looked like he wanted to throw me in the river.''

Drew just nods, and picks at a chipped nail. ''No shit, Sherlock.'' PO asks, having pissed off one half of the d-corps power couple. ''I'm screwed, huh?''

Drew just says. ''Probably.''

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Just something fun I wanted to write, Some of the hockey himbos attempts to flirt with or ask Kris or Erik out over the years, many have tried. But, alas, they've only got eyes for each other. Got another TangerKarlsson idea cooking too!

#tangerkarlsson #pittsburgh penguins

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9116 · 2 years

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Toronto Maple Leafs forward Jason Spezza announced today his retirement from the National Hockey League after 19 seasons. With his announcement, Spezza will be joining the Maple Leafs' front office as Special Assistant to General Manager Kyle Dubas effective immediately.

"It is difficult to describe just how much of a lasting and positive impact that Jason Spezza made in his three seasons with the Maple Leafs," said General Manager Kyle Dubas. "Jason's passion for the game of hockey, his desire to continuously push himself and his teammates to improve, as well as his capacity to make strong connections with all members of the organization, have been invaluable. Though today marks the end of his tenure with us as a player, it is a pleasure to have him join our front office to impart all that he has to offer."

Spezza, 38, recorded 995 points (363G, 632A) through 1,248 career regular season NHL games split between the Maple Leafs, Dallas Stars and Ottawa Senators while collecting 76 points (28G, 48A) in 97 career Stanley Cup Playoff games. The two-time NHL All-Star (2008, 2012) ranks in the top 100 on the NHL's all-time list for games played (t-96th), assists (80th) and points (94th). In addition to serving as the eighth captain in Senators franchise history, Spezza sits sixth in all-time club games played (686), and second in goals (251), assists (436) and points (687) through his 11 seasons in Ottawa.

Internationally, Spezza has represented Canada at the IIHF World Championship four times (2008, 2009, 2011, 2015), the IIHF World Junior Championship three times (2000, 2001, 2002) and the Spengler Cup in 2012. Spezza won a gold (2015) and two silver medals (2008, 2009) at the IIHF World Championship and captured a silver (2002) and two bronze medals (2000, 2001) at the IIHF World Junior Championship. He also won the 2012 Spengler Cup with Team Canada.

Spezza was originally selected by Ottawa in the first round (2nd overall) of the 2001 NHL Draft.

Statement from Jason Spezza:

"I love hockey. Since the age of three, I've been lucky enough to live out my dream and do what I love for so many years," said Spezza. "I eat, sleep, dream hockey and it's always been there for me. There are too many people to thank individually but I'm forever grateful and indebted to the Ottawa Senators, Dallas Stars, Toronto Maple Leafs and Hockey Canada for their support and belief in me as a player and person. To my teammates, coaches, support staff, trainers and equipment staff - a heartful thank you for everything. Through countless hours at the rink - whether on the ice or with those behind the scenes - I have been so fortunate to have forged friendships for life.

Hockey has been my life's work and to be able to come home to Toronto and bookend my playing career where it started was incredible. To the fans - in Ottawa, Dallas, Toronto and across the league - your impact on the game is immeasurable. I'll never be able to replicate that feeling of stepping onto the ice to the roar of the crowd, but it is something I'll always remember. Thank you.

Looking forward, I'm very grateful to the Leafs for the amazing opportunity to transition into this new role. It enables me to continue to follow my passion; learn and live new experiences within the game I love.

Lastly, none of this happens without the unwavering support of my parents, siblings, wife, and kids. You have always been my cornerstone."

#🥹#jason spezza

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tkachow · 2 years

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very obviously devastated that jason spezza is retiring but i’m so excited to have his vision in our front office. nobody in the world loves hockey the way he does. upsetting that they couldn’t get it done for him, but. good things lie ahead.

#typing this as i cry and shake on the ground #i love that man #so much #toronto maple leafs #jason spezza

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icedhockey · 1 year

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wishlist for this game

- ZAR goal - uncle gio demolition mode - willy breakaway shorty (if they have to take a penalty for demolition mode crimes) - onset of mo rielly comeback era - jason dickinson traded to the leafs mid-game - pk*ne retirement - engvall executes a celly in which he leapfrogs over samsonov - jason spezza sighting

#leafs lb #just some thoughts i've been having #shoot for the moon or whatever

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nylwnder · 2 years

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jason spezza. where to even start? walking into this hockey world, the minute i saw him, i just knew he had such passion for the sport. seeing him retire today, yes it’s a little sad because who doesn’t want vintage spezz on that ice leading the boys in some way. but also, knowing he’ll be apart of this organization - something that we always wanted him to do - it feels so right!!! cheers to an amazing career spezza, LEAFS LEGEND. 💙

#GET HIS STATUE OUTSIDE OF SBA RIGHT TF NOW #toronto maple leafs #jason spezza #that’s vintage babeyyyy

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zozo-01 · 12 days

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"you’ve learned a long time ago to stop thinking things would change. (it didn't stop you from hoping anyways.)"

So, it's that time of year again, and I don't have the Raptors to distract me. It's the NHL playoffs and I am a Leafs fan. If you know, you know. I wrote this a year ago for myself and @thatlesbeanjew because being a hockey fan is not the faint of heart, and I completely forgot to post it to Tumblr ;-;. The title is from Jason's Spezza's retirement article and I think it applies well here.

For my sports (specifically hockey) fans who're in an toxic relationship with your favourite team, here's some southern comfort for you.

CW: author is being sentimental about grown men playing a game, i wrote this with the last years Bruins' collapse in mind (sorry tay), but no team is mentioned!!, city wolf darlin makes a comeback, Fluff, Comfort, so much comfort, someone send me to therapy

There’s never an easy way to say goodbye.

No one wants to say goodbye, and even if it has to be said, let it be said with finality, with a sense of accomplishment. That even if this is the end, the journey was enjoyable. That the blood, sweat, tears (and really dumb questions) were worth it. That the years, your childhood, spent hoping were worth it.

No one wants to end on a whimper, especially if it’s broadcasted on national TV.

They still can’t believe that final goal went in.

Darlin’ stared at the TV, watching the series-winning goal over and over again. Their eyes tried to rewrite history, using what magic they have to will the puck to not cross the red line. Go wide right, hit the post, or even knock a player's teeth out for all they care! All their efforts were for naught. The goal still goes in, the building goes silent save for the cheers from the opposing team, and the season was over.

It was hard to believe that just a moment ago, their body was buzzing with anxiety, every sensation was cranked up to an eleven. Only for all that excitement collapsing inside their body, creating a black hole within their heart, numbing them to the result of the game in front of them.

All of that emotional investment just to get the same result. They felt silly for letting themselves dream, believe, with nothing to prove their faith. Everyone around them had been right, but they insisted on their foolish delusion, stubborn to the very end for this hockey team that has brought them nothing but pain.

Darlin’ had always preferred the painful route, embodying the sentiment that ‘love is pain’. It just so happened that it applied to more than the people in their life.

Their legs lost all their strength, causing them to fall backwards onto the couch. Their eyes stayed glued to the screen, ears ringing louder than any goal horn they’d heard in their life. Part of them wished they had never decided to care for this stupid team that only does stupid things and makes them cheer like a stupid idiot.

Ok, maybe this seems like an exaggerated reaction to a hockey team losing a game, but truly, this is how Darlin’ felt at this moment.

And Sam knew it.

They barely registered the soft blanket wrapping around their shoulders, but the warmth helped ground them a little bit. Sam always knew how to bring them out of their daze, with gentle pressure and plenty of space. Always giving them the choice of when to ask for help, a choice they’ve found themselves making more often.

They heard the faint clink of a plate on the coffee table in front of them. But what had knocked them out of their trance was Sam finally turning off the damn TV. It didn’t stop the goal horn from ringing in their ears, but at least they didn’t have to see that fucking rat’s shit-eating grin again. Who the fuck does he think he is? Fuck that guy, fuck that team, fuck everything-

They blinked repeatedly, feeling Sam’s hand playing with their hair. “I can feel your rage from here,” he chuckled. “Can’t imagine what you’re plannin’ to do to the other team in that pretty brain of yours.” Slowly, he shifted his arm to wrap around their shoulder to pull them closer to his chest. The tension that built up in their forehead had finally gone away when they heard his heartbeat. “Knowin’ you, you’re plannin’ something nefarious.”

“...I know where they’re stayin’,” they mumbled, nuzzling their face deeper into Sam’s chest. “That’s all I’ll say about that.”

He kissed their hair line and pulled them closer. “For the record, I will not be an accessory to your murderous rampage.” The small smile on their face prompted him to continue. “But I promise I won’t tell no one about your little scheme.” Leave it to Sam to make them smile when all they want to do is curl under a blanket and bleach the game from their mind.

They huffed in his chest. “I appreciate you not snitchin’ on me, but come on? You ain’t gonna help your mate with the body? Fake ass bitch.” Darlin’ let out a quiet giggle. Seeing the southern man deadpan at them is a surefire way to make them smile.

He pinched their nose and scoffed, “forgive me if I don’t want to see my mate in jail because a hockey team decided to beat your team.”

They pout at his statement, not appreciating the blunt tone he used. Come to think of it, when he puts it like that, their reaction to the ending of this game seems ridiculous. Wanting to kill grown men for doing their job? Because they just happen to beat their team? They’re a grown adult damn it! They’re better than being emotional over a team!

Sam flicked their forehead, knocking them out of their spiral. He pulled his wolf closer to him, letting their head rest on his shoulder. “No self-deprecatin’ spiral for you, Darlin’. You’re allowed to feel shitty over a game.” He continued to pet their hair, content with sitting in silence until they were ready to speak.

Darlin’ kissed his cheek and sighed. “I know, I know, I’m valid with my feelins’, it’s just…” They trailed off, biting their bottom lip while trying to articulate their thoughts into words. If only incoherent screaming was enough for Sam to understand their emotions. “When I say this team has sucked for my entire life… there hasn’t been a year where shit has gone right for us.”

Their vision blurred as they continued. “And I’m so fuckin’ tired of- of having hope that things will end different and then they never do!” The more words that poured out of them, the more anger bled into their voice. “It’s like, come on! They’ve had decades and so many different fuckin’ players and management to get their shit together and they never do! How much longer do they think people are gonna blindly follow them until…” A sob crept up their throat. “...Until we all decide to just… not care.”

They sighed in frustration. “I know it’s so stupid to fuckin’ care about a stupid team this much… I don’t know… They were the only good thing from my childhood.” Darlin’ chuckled at their last statement. “God, how has mt life been if this fuckin’ team was the best part?”

He rubbed their arm to comfort them. “Well on the bright side, it led you to my arms, so could it have been that bad?” Darlin’ pinched his chest, but that only caused their vampire to laugh harder. “Am I wrong, Darlin’? You seem to be enjoyin’ my arms a little too much,” he teased, acting as if it was a complaint against them. They both knew that Sam would rather die again than see his wolf in another person’s arms.

He held their face in his hands. Sam knew every little habit and quirk that Darlin’ had, and he knew that they wouldn’t look him in the eyes whenever they got emotional like this. “Darlin’, I need you to look at me please.”

They did as he asked them to, lifting their gaze and getting lost in his silver eyes. He kissed their forehead, whispering a soft ‘thank you’ against their skin. They don’t know if he’ll ever understand how fucking terrifying it was to have someone know them so well. But they wouldn’t trade that blissful feeling for anything else.

“It’s not stupid to care about this team, Darlin’. They were a huge part of your best memories as a kid. And maybe you will get tired of them one day and it will suck. But there’s no shame in lovin’ unconditionally.”

Darlin’s vision blurred again and cleared their throat to stop themselves from sobbing. “Even if they hurt me over and over again?”

Sam smirked, “well if they hurt you again, I’ll have to pay a visit down to their office and make sure they win.” Darlin’ scoffed at his cockiness but didn’t stop him from continuing. “‘Sides, like you always say.”

“Oh God, don’t say it-”

“There’s always next year.”

“I’m gonna fuckin’ kill you.”

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redacted fanfic #redacted darlin #redacted sam #be a leafs fan they said #itll be great they said #so rude that i dont have sam with me this year #this is year will be torture #zo writes tingz #this is zo speaking

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