#but i also want to low key do a huge project like that

[pigidin]

OKAY. Am I the only one fascinated by how much Alastor in s1 has interacted with other demons and built a potential for considerable amount of different, broad and unique relationships? With All of them being non-romantic/sexual?

I really don't wanna dive into the discourse of shipping coz honestly, I do think that erasing Al's aroaceness is not cool at all. Personally, I don't see him wishing any romance/sex at all, and well. Considering how platonic he actually is throughout the season, it kinda seems like people forget that friendship (or basically anything non rom-sex) exists in the first place.

Coz, like, let's see what we got::

Vox -- probably one-sided (psychosexual) crush from Vox with possible past friendship between them, them hating on each other yet having (used to have) some respect as well. The ANGST, the drama (for both of sides). Insert aroace troubles (possible aphobia from Vox? Or not? He may be biggest ally as well!) and Vox's petty feelings that are insanely interesting to explore (and laugh at).

Lucifer -- immediate hate that (with a course of events) can turn into forced bonding. The potential of queerplatonic parenting of Charlie is HUGE here. Insecurities from Al? Forced care? Banters? SHENANIGANS? Luci patching up Al after battle, prolly discovering his deal and them slowly bonding on shared interests? Hey.

Rosie -- literal established queerplatonic partners, married for tax benefits, spending their evenings gossiping, hating on Susan and Al rolling his eyes on another romance-rel drama Rosie was trying to help sb with. Rosie can have insane influence on him whether it is understanding modern things or just being with him when he needs it. It also gives off mom/son to me.

Husk -- fucked up master-pet not-friendship with probable care rooted since they were closer in past. Is it toxic? Yes. Is it giving off some problematic dynamic? Sure. Yet it's fucking complex on its core considering pilot, bits and pieces of their interaction and how easily Husk used to insult Al until he overstepped. Them two are quite similar if you think about it and if Al got over his ego it could benefit him a lot.

Niffty -- daugther/father dynamic with them sharing one sadistic-psycho braincell and genuinely enjoying each other's quirks. Protective Al? I just need more Niff and them two being partners in the most outrageous crimes.

Mimzy -- friendship going since they were humans, with them having an amazing (potential) backstory of sharing evenings on two. Al enjoying her company as well as being protective and helpful to her with nothing in return.

Charlie -- manipulated into trusting you as a dad figure? Don't tell me there is nothing below Al's creepy plans or that he wouldn't grow to care for her. He already is proud of her and finds amusement in her inspiration-skills (also, performance is his thing for a reason)

Angel -- I was honestly kinda upset we didn't see any interactions between them except one sex joke, coz my past era of Hunicasts was a fuel to their duo. Them bonding over how different they are is the best description of their dynamic. Also banters and body-puns.

You can't just erase Alastor from interacting with people, but putting him inside boxes of allonormative relationships while he has such a fucking huge potential for everything beyond just that - is quite.. disappointing. People turning a blind eye to a wide variety of relationships he can have (potential to which is set in canon) for the sake of just romance/sex is low key sad.

It's AWESOME to see ppl actually understanding it and.. damn THANKS to everyone who explores Al's relationship with others without it involving final wish to stick tongues into places. Dynamics can be interesting and exciting without it.

I really don't wanna project my romance-aversion onto Al, but when romance and sex is one thing you see everywhere.. it's hard to just let it slip.

You are allowed to do whatever you want, exploring physical intimacy is fun as well, and having Al, well, there are bunch of ways to show it with respecting his orientation and the fact that IT AFFECTS RELATIONSHIPS/ATTRACTIONS but please just don't make it the center of your attention, the one thing relationship revolves around, coz sadly it's just exactly how it looks like from some folks.

#hazbin hotel #aromantic #hazbin hotel alastor #aroace alastor #aromantic alastor #asexual alastor #asexual #radiostatic #onewaybroadcast #radioapple #appleradio #radiorose #radiohusk #radiodust #charlastor #alastor x mimzy #<- as duos/dynamics/nonrom ships #NOT IN SHIP-SHIP WAY #i mostly made this post just to express how MUCH i like the fact that canon explores Al so broadly #im kinda Al multishipper. just. not romantically #it turned into discourse at the end didn't it? #my aro ass is sorry #but not really #i just want more attention to a platonic side of relationship #whoever it is with honestly #and i'm done seeing people almost erasing every single platonic interaction after romantic/sexual ones are introduced #i love ppl being intimate yet remaining platonic tho

[the-wip-project]

SloMo WriNo: The Writing Habit

You’re going to get tired of hearing me say this, but when it comes to finishing your writing (or getting pretty much any long term project accomplished) habit is everything.

A solid writing habit will get you through those days when writing feels boring, when you’re tired, uninspired, lost. Habit is the magic that makes the writing train go— more often than most people want to admit.

That said, establishing a new habit can be fiendishly difficult— especially if you have a neurodivergent brain. (This is coming from personal experience, as someone who took literal years to establish the habit of brushing my teeth before bed. (I still frequently have agonies about washing my face at the same time.))

So. How to establish a solid writing habit?

Step one is finding the time.

Your writing does not require large blocks of time. You can write productively in as little as fifteen minutes a day (yes, really!) but the only way that gets accomplished is by making it fast and simple to get into your writing headspace.

How though?

By making it a routine at a similar time and place each day, by creating rituals that cue you that it’s writing time, or by attaching your writing to another established habit. Ideally your writing habit will combine all three.

Yes, flexibility is important, because every routine has variations in it, so being able to write even when you don’t have everything just right is important. But if in the past you’ve struggled to keep writing as a consistent part of your life, then creating a routine is the best first step to creating a habit.

Connecting your writing to another, enjoyable habit is good first step. Writing while you take your morning coffee break, or during your headphones on commute time, or along side your lunchtime treat might be all you need to create a positive association. You want writing time to be something you look forward to, not dread.

By keeping the session short (Somehow setting a timer for a number less than thirty makes even the most scary tasks feel approachable for me.) and adding something pleasant and relaxing to the mix you can start to build that positivity. I think this is why so many writers like to write with a cup of tea, or in coffee shops. Adding a delicious beverage habit cues your mind that this is writing time, and what’s more, that writing is a pleasant time taken just for one’s self.

It also makes a huge difference to write at a time when your brain feels good.

I have tried writing later in the evening, and every moment feels like work. My brain is tired, and all I want to do is relax, not think. It feels like I’ve already used up all my energy and motivation.

Instead I like to wake early to write. This might sound like torture for all you night owls, but for me, (and plenty of other people) writing has become a keystone to healthy morning habits. Knowing that I’m going to wake by 5am in order to write is an incentive for me to be in bed by 9:30, (instead of staying up late to doom scroll, eat junk food and make other poor decisions) which helps me wake up with the right level of brain activity to write, which then makes me energetic enough to head out on my morning run directly after writing. Which means all the ideas from my writing session float around in my head in a pleasant soup, distracting me from the monotony of feet hitting ground. It’s a string of positive associations that keeps me happy and healthy.

For you the opposite might be true. Perhaps you find yourself in a peaceful writerly head space after the rest of your household is asleep, or while taking a break at work or school. The key is to find a time and/or place that’s low friction, when the obstacles to writing are less, when getting to your keyboard (or notebook if you’re old-school) feels less like work and maybe even like a reward, and then build out other positive associations around it.

If you’re used to viewing writing as something painful and difficult this might seem alien to you. So let me just add this: your words are not worth more because you were miserable when writing them. It’s not only okay to enjoy your writing time, it’s preferable. Sure you’ll connect a bit less to the writing is misery memes, but it’s worth it, I promise!

So, here is your assignment for the week: Take a look at your schedule and figure out what times might be convenient for regularly scheduled writing. And then try them out and see if you can find a time and place where writing feels good. You might have to move some other activities around to find that sweet spot, (like me, moving my bed time to allow morning writing time) and expect some stalls, some fails and lack of consistency. It’s not going to feel good all the time immediately, and you will need to will power your way through at times. But overall, once you can start forming that positive habit, the writing will become far easier to get to. And much more enjoyable when you do.

—Maree

Subscribe to my substack to make sure you don't miss a post, chat with me on the WIP Project discord, and tag any posts you make about the challenge with #slomowrino if you want me to see them!

#slomowrino #writing advice #writing as a habit

[leonaquitaine]

Starter GPose: Lighting 101 - GPose controls

It's hard to overstate how important lighting is for photography in general- and the same applies to gpose shots.

This is a huge topic, so let's start with the basics!

GPose Controls

There are 3 different kinds of lighting control available when in gpose: Global, Character, and Points.

Global illumination is controlled by the manual brightness adjustment slider. This is equivalent, in real-life photography, to exposure. Character lightning has no real-life equivalent, but may be thought of as a brightness control that only influences characters and similar entities (minions, NPCs, and enemies, for example.)

GPose also gives you 3 point light sources that can be used to emulate the 3-point lighting traditional method for illuminating a subject.

Positioning a source isn't exactly intuitive: A source is placed exactly where the camera is at the moment it is toggled. So to place it you need to move the camera to the desired position, and then enable it by toggling its button.

Oddly enough, these points do NOT project shadows. (in fact, a great deal of 'glowy' elements don't, like weapons and armor.) But you can use this fact for great effects!

You can, for example, create shots with perfect dark backgrounds by strategically placing gpose light points behind objects that do not block the emitted light. You can learn more about this technique here:

Ok, so where was I? Oh, right- lighting!

Let's play around with what we just learned then. Here's a default setup for a scene: Notice that the ceiling light *do* project shadows, but it's kinda low-res. So let's set ambient light to zero and control the shades ourselves.

Some rotation and gshade filters from Neneko Colors for better luminance, color, and model shades. It's better - but still looks pretty flat.

We want to pop the character out, so let's add some highlights and rim lights. First, the hair: let's give it a lustrous shine. Camera up top and a slightly bluish point.

Now the weapon. Remember that the item itself doesn't emit light? so let's place another point with the same tone as the weapon to illuminate Louise. To her left and behind her, slightly distant so as to project on her legs as well.

And finally, a directional key light to help illuminate her face.

Her model is still too dark, so let's use the character lighting control to help with that.

Now let's make the whole scene a bit brighter. Change the brightness adjustment slider to manual mode, and bring it up as needed.

This should be a good point to compare the initial setup with our results so far, showing how much basic gpose lighting can enhance a shot.

Now that you know how it's done, it's easy to see how some of my poses were set up! Here's one with a yellow source top-right, an orange source bottom-right, and a dim white source to the left of Louise:

Or this one: A very bright white source to the left (and a bit to the front), and a dim bluish/purplish source to the bottom right. Notice how much Louise pops out of the scene.

Next, I'll talk about exterior shots, fixture light sources, and other neat things.

(This guide is part of a series that I'm migrating from Twitter since Tumblr offers much better options for formatting and editing, and taking the opportunity to also update images and references. Let me know if you have any questions!)

#ffxiv #gpose #gposeguide #ffxiv tutorial #gpose tutorial #nenekocolors #long post

[dreamofmetoday]

JACKSON WANG IDEAL TYPE READING

overall:

he wants someone he feels romantic and sexual chemistry with instantly, even if he were to start off as friends with someone he would ideally want it to be one of those situations where from the beginning you both technically felt that “spark” and knew there was something underlying happening (he really wants to be able to feel his feelings for someone, for it to be exciting and almost teenage-esque). he wants someone deep and complex, but also someone who knows how to have fun - a woman who is easy to get along with, can make jokes and relax but you know she also has a lot of deep thoughts and emotions, she’s intelligent and has opinions. he wants someone who is self-assured and knows what they want - he doesn’t seem to have a problem with some level of insecurity, but he wants someone who at least knows where they stand on some things and is their own person (e.g. if he wants to know your opinion on something, he wants you to able to tell him straight away and to be confident about it - vague or unsure answers are not something he likes and he would especially be annoyed if he thinks you copy all of your opinions from friends and family). he wants someone witty, someone who he can really talk to (engaging conversations) and is warm. he wants someone who values an equal give and take in relationships (he isn’t into someone that wants to be more of the giver but he doesn’t want someone who expects to be spoiled either). he wants someone who does their best to not be a victim and who can also motivate him to become (or stay) resilient.

turn ons:

someone who values privacy and keeping their relationship secret or low-key, someone who can form their own opinion on him (he doesn’t like when he can tell someone has preconceived ideas about him and he also expects that you respect him and let his actions and behaviour speak for itself), someone who has good manners, small waist and a big or firm butt (likes pear shaped and hourglass shaped women), someone who doesn’t edit their photos dramatically, sensitive and nurturing (not rough with things, knows how to be gentle and mature), when he can tell someone doesn’t act on their emotions (can push their emotions aside and do what is logical or professional), someone who isn’t needy for attention, someone who is tidy and cleanly, someone who doesn’t seem down in the dumps all the time (not really someone who’s all “sunshine and rainbows” but just someone who has the vibe that they're going to pull their socks up get on with things), someone who grasps opportunities and takes charge (even in small ways - e.g. if he can tell you’re easily bossed around by your friends he would think that’s sad, or another example: if you’re clothes shopping, he wants you to just buy the jacket you want, not consider if everyone else is going to think it’s ugly or something), someone who plans for the future (and if not a strict planner, someone who at least has a vision for what they want in the future), straight but feminine shoulders (could like when someone wears clothes that show off their shoulders and collarbones), someone who can admit when they’re wrong or come forward with mistakes, delicate feminine hands.

turn offs:

someone who causes or needs drama (he doesn’t want to entertain bullshit essentially, nor is he someone that sees this as “passionate” and exciting - causing arguments for no reason is a huge turn off), someone who always feels the need to tell him how much they love him or want him, someone who needs to be around him all the time or wants to “merge” (he really thinks people should maintain their independence), someone who is in love with love more than him (projects romantic ideals and expectations onto him that you should know don’t suit his personality or clearly don’t represent who he actually is), someone who acts pathetic around him and tries to be too sacrificing (if someone is like, “i would do anything for you. i would die for you” he’s kind of like, “ok, you need to get serious…”), someone who doesn’t value relaxing and peace, someone who’s bad at balancing and has a chaotic nature, someone who tries too hard to appeal to him (if someone says what they thinks he wants to hear and he can tell, this annoys him), someone who can’t stick by him in hard times (if someone is only a good partner when times are good then he’s very disappointed, he doesn't want someone who is only fun), someone with a bad reputation (and someone who doesn’t care what others think, someone who doesn’t care about behaving right), someone super jealous, too skinny, someone built too broadly, someone who doesn’t exercise or take care of themselves, big hands.

#got7 jackson #got7 #jackson wang #kpop #kpop tarot #celebrity tarot #tarot #ideal type reading

[eusuntgratie]

Jesus my beloved! For the truth/dare ask: 🍓 🔪 🐝

HI VOX 😘😘😘

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

oooh great question. i had an idea that wouldn't leave me alone and despite feeling like i wasn't a writer and couldn't do it, a beloved friend encouraged me to write my idea out. That fic was Captain America and the Winter Soldier Read Thirst Tweets, which I still love dearly. I didn't think I would write anything else, but I got sucked into Teen Wolf fandom shortly after that and started having so many fic ideas I couldn't keep up with them.

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

hmm... i have to be careful with research bc i want to do enough to make the story authentic but it is REALLY easy for me to get stuck in resarch phase and end up doing no writing.

nothing too weird is coming to mind, although i def feel like i'm forgetting something.

i did a LOT of research on saints and brushing up on catholic rites and iconography for forgive me, father which was both fascinating and low-key traumatizing. that shit never leaves you man.

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

ooooh this is gonna make me emo but okay.

i can't give @bigassbowlingballhead enough love for everything he's done to support me and my big huge ginormous wip disaster. it started as a horny little idea and with his ideas and encouragement it's ballooned into the longest fic i've ever written. it's sitting at 40k and i'm not done writing the last chapter.

jon, you are so sweet and supportive and hilarious and SUCH A TALENTED WRITER i am so grateful for you. also you have great taste in men and i never get tired of thirsting with you 😏

@lostcol has been suffering with me as i drag her into new fandoms and shenanigans for a long time and she always always always supports my crazy ideas and encourages me to keep writing. her patience for my disastrously incorrect grip on english grammar seems to be infinite.

col you've made my writing so much better. you are so kind and funny and smart. i have so much fun screaming with you about new shows and new ideas. you are a great writer and an amazing beta and i appreciate you so so so much <3

@puckingfabulous has helped my writing more than i can say and has pushed me to try things i didn't think i could tackle, or didn't think i could write well. i feel like i've turned a corner with my writing in the last year and she gets a lot of the credit for helping me get there.

de you are so sweet and so supportive. i love talking ideas with you and nerding out about hockey or anything. your support means a lot - i appreciate you so so much <3

vox you've had my back for so long it's silly. we haven't overlapped a fandom in years but you've never let that stop you from encouraging me. if i haven't run you off by now i think you might just be stuck with me. love you man 😘

writer truth or dare asks

#writer asks #ask grace #voxofthevoid #ITS TOO EARLY TO BE THIS EMOTIONAL

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

I watched the The Rookie Season 6 premiere!!

I started it last night and finished it this morning and just OAUGH it was so good :D

I expected them to not figure it out for a while but I low-key love the way they did it. Because it shows that they (the characters) aren't dumb and gives some action but still keeps a huge mystery to it. Theory wise, I keep thinking of the Dream (nightmare) Team (Elijah and Oscar) but it's been like a half season so I don't think it's time to bring them back yet. Idk tho, we'll see what happens!

Also Lucy is going through it xD like genuinely she is and :(( but everyone (even Wesley xD) knowing about the clown thing was just HILARIOUS lol

Also after Tim said "maybe she just had a fight with her girlfriend" I was like "oh cool we're casually using a gay example- he's talking about him" soo as I said at the time, diversity win! The random person you're projecting your problems onto is a lesbian through you <3.

Anyway xD lowkey, I get both their sides, but I'm lowkey on Tim's lol. I do get being stressed out and just wanting support though, totally, I just think Lucy's going to realize she needs to talk it out with him

Also I'm glad for their development! I'm also kind of glad Tim's not the "instigator" (there's not really one but yk) of the fight since he's been the "mean one" a lot lol. Anyway I hope my babeys work it out (soon - I figure they will eventually) :((

Also this makes it seem like I love chenford and barely about wopez and I do love them but HUGAOAPGHY BABEYS I GOT THEM BACK <3333

Not much but I did :'D

Talking about wopez by the way lol

Also HALLELUJAH AARON SURVIVED!! HE'S OKAY :'DDD!! P H E W :'D 🥳🥳🥳🎉🎊😌🥰.

Thank goodness lol

Also :(( that he wants to help catch the guys that almost killed him but can't - probably for the best though :/. Just don't let it get pent up in any way xd. Also please don't date your therapist or have any kinda funky relationship with her lol.

Also aaahhhhHHH Bailey and Nolan (John just wasn't right) are getting married :D. I'm glad everything ended up working out (for now lol, that promo is scaring me xD I figure it'll be fine but just once I want an uninterrupted wedding, in anything, but especially The Rookie lol) <333. They're adorable 🥰. Also am I crazy or was that Mr. Kevin Kozner as the neighbor guy? At first I thought it was then wasn't then wasn't sure so I figure not but I don't know xD

Also poor Harper :(( I know she'll get through it but it just sucks. And it sucks that she can't talk to James about it (like not legally but emotionally lol), though I do like that they have differing opinions on stuff. It's nice to have couples that don't have all the same views, you know?

Anyway!! I didn't mention them but Celina and Gray are slaying as always <3. And for Celina (and everyone)'s sake I hope we catch this guys soon (but not too soon ;) - I love me some drama)

Also reminder that I love Wesley with my whole soul, thank you <3.

So excited for this season!! Especially the 100th episode, it's so great that they get one :D. I think both of those are gonna be really good and I'm just so looking forward to it :D!! This was an amazing episode, lots of good stuff all around, and I'm so excited for the next one :D. The promo looks wild (also AAAHHHHHH THE WEDDING!!! :DD) but so good and I'm looking forward to it :D 🥰.

This is gonna be a great season :))!!

See y'all later!! ❤️🥰

#the rookie #oasis's rookie chatter #chenford #wopez #bailan #whoops that's a spanish word xd #sorry besties #anyway!! #so excited #I love you all :DD ❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!! #byeeee :))) 🥰🥰🥰🥰 <33!!!!

[lindszeppelin]

I almost feel bad for some of the Kaustin shippers. So many have done face reveals and/or use their real names/provide other identifying information about themselves.

Like, most are young and in Kaia’s peer group or younger. I was wise beyond my years when I was that age but boy did I get more polished with age. I’m beyond glad there is no internet footprints of most of my thoughts and opinions from that age! I’d say they should know better, but they don’t have the perspective to how much their thoughts on relationships will change as they experience more relationships and witness how other people’s relationships fall apart. It’s the curse of being young: you think you know more than you do. They don’t know that how you feel in your early twenties will not necessarily hold up the rest of your life. That said, I low key feel Mollie should know better. She’s in freakin’ law school and is essentially studying and analyzing consequences at the end of the day. Like…does she think law firms or clients can’t one day come across her blog, tweets, photos (whether they’re still live when she officially enters that profession or on something like screenshots or the way back machine that someone will track down her footprint…which will be fine bc she’s literally teaching her followers how to better stalk Austin via the way back machine 🙄🙄🙄🙄) will find her literal stalking and investing sooooo much time into a relationship between people she’ll never meet cute or professional or even remotely okay? Like how is she not scared that this could be a huge embarrassment and liability to be such a rabid fan who follows several people’s every move? It’s a terrible look professionally.

Like I said, I kinda feel bad bc you don’t know what you don’t know. But they also write fan fiction as they go based on tips of icebergs (largely out of context) and are thinking it’s cool to leave their identifiable information out there. I don’t think I would have done that even at 22 so I cannot wrap my head around it. Sorry- just wanted to vent about this.

Related: I hate it when they say we’re infantilizing Kaia or any young women when we point out age differences aren’t cool. No, we’re 🚨warning🚨 them based on what we’ve learned. Not every older dude is a predator- I don’t think Austin is “ preying” on Kaia. But you hit a few nails on the head some posts back talking about him being a bit lost when he met Kaia. He had just finished some intense projects and was still likely finding himself post his relationship with Vanessa. Yes, it had been 2ish years but a) it was a long ass relationship, b) he wasn’t even living in LA the entire time between relationships and didn’t go home/see his family and c) throw in a global pandemic in there so those 2 years were weird AF. I’m personally of the belief that if an older man is with a younger girl something is a bit off, even if it’s neutral (read: not a bad guy or a predator) but is in a weird place or hasn’t grown into their adult life yet and just has a bit more work to do. I personally think he should have stayed single a bit longer to grow into his adult self. I don’t judge him for going for a younger woman and I semi get it, as I also believe we mentally/emotionally revert back to the relative age we were when a relationship began (post break up). He was so young when he and V got together and was in a serious relationship in his twenties. Of course he’s going to relate to younger people for a hot moment (and that’s not taking away his intelligence or maturity in other ways…this can happen to the best of us). But yeah, he should stayed single and someone should teach Kaia that older men who wanna date young women probably aren’t the best idea for a spectrum of reasons. It’s not infantilizing- it’s a warning, it’s concern, and it’s about being literate about human psychology and behaviors regarding patterns and societal standards that we need to rethink.

Sorry this was longer than I intended. I guess I’ve been wanting to say all of this for some time so it was bottled up. Hope it didn’t come across as a hater- I don’t hate Austin (I’m side eyeing and running out of patience the longer this goes on bc I believe him to be smarter than this, but I still don’t think he’s a bad dude.) As I said, this happens to the best of us and it’s not an attack. Life is messy and dialogues about this stuff are important. And bc we’ve lived it, those young whipper snappers should respect their elders and not gaslight our lived experience/observations/lessons learned 😂

Hello anon! I just wanted to have some dinner and craft a response for you, because damn this was so well put together that it deserves a little more depth of analysis from me. So thank you for taking your time to write in your thoughts.

Off the top, I do agree that the younger generation is way too lax with how they throw around their identifying information out there on social media. A lot of them just aren't aware that whatever you post online leaves a footprint, and even if you try to delete it or conceal it, it will always be there. So even if they think they're being cocky by revealing their faces and leaving their names and where they live and such out there without a care, welp that is gonna come back around and haunt them later. Us millennials (i assume you're a fellow millennial, or Gen X at most lol) know the dangers of the internet as we grew up with the beginnings of social media. I would think twice if i were these kids uploading their faces and other shit to twitter/tumblr. Employers can find all of this even when the shippers don't think they can.

I think when we were these shippers ages we all said some pretty cringe shit online. Here's hope that as these kids grow up they realize the damage they can do by how their words and actions can affect others. And I will also just say here that just because someone goes to college for higher learning doesn't mean they are smarter than anyone else. Book smarts don't equal street smarts. and in this world I highly value being street smart and internet smart over book smart. And i think we all know that not every profession is well suited to everyone that signs up for that career field. Passing the bar is insanely difficult and even then, do you know how many half assed shitty lawyers there are out there roaming these streets? Crazy.

The stalking in this fandom is horrific, and if she really is dishing out details on how to stalk Austin's past social medias to obtain information, then they are certified crazy. It's giving straight jacket. It's giving delusional stalker. And to answer your question of how they can overlook what they say online...arrogance and ego, simply put. You think you're untouchable until one day you're not.

This point you bring up here about Austin and Kaia, dude, amazing. This needed to be said. You are so correct. Of course Austin is not a predator. Only fucking idiots would say that shit and compare him to Leo. This man clearly went through the ringer, and his choice in dating partner only reflects the mental state he was in (and might still be lingering in) at that time. He had a full fledged identity crisis meanwhile he flew to London straight after being released from the Hospital in Australia and filmed MOTA, then a few short months later he met Kaia under questionable circumstances. Plus the whirlwind of the award season and the hefty Elvis press tour is so much for a person to handle, especially when this was his first time doing both of those. No man or woman under normal circumstances would get mixed up with someone much younger than them (especially when the younger one hasn't even been a legal adult for that long). it's really a reflection of a switch not being turned on for the older person AND fucked up trauma somewhere in the young person. Trauma all around really.

At kaia's age, being with a man much older than her might have given the impression to others that she was so wise beyond her years, but she's a damn child. She shows her age all the time when she takes pictures with her young friends, go to these embarrassing parties that involve BDSM or sex or fanfiction readings in her "perverted bookclub". That is all stuff a 22 year old and younger would probably be found doing. That is not something a functioning adult who's doing okay would engage in. Plus, by her own admission she has been around men much older than he all her life thanks to Cindy pushing her to model since she was so young. So she is fucked up from that, and dating older men is what she is used to. She thinks it's normal. But in reality, it's not. And it's the fact that these shippers who are her age DON'T have a problem with it, but those of us who are close to Austin's age have a MASSIVE problem with it.

You're telling me that if theses shippers were to see a regular 32 year old man holding hands with a 22 year old out and about in the grocery store or whatever that they'd be cool with it? No, you side eye that shit. It is not normal or usual, it is odd. I as a near 30 year old woman would never in my life consider dating someone Kaia's age, are you for fucking real? In Hollywood this weirdo shit might be immorally normalized, but in regular society it is NOT OKAY. And I hope Austin get out of this funk he's been in for 2-3 years now. Continuing to be with her will only further damage himself in the long run, as you can clearly tell this man is not in love with her.

I think I hit on everything I wanted to comment on, but honestly I don't remember so im just gonna leave it here lol.

#lindsay's anon asks

[the-officiant-of-nothing-archive]

Thank you for everything!

Thank you for being here with me for these years, but if you ask me, i prefer my works to have an end of some sort, so i guess... this is one? Time to archive the blog now, have a final drawing.

I have more thoughts under the line (ideas i couldn't do, plans, sorrys, thoughts) but i leave it to your choice if you want to read them or not If not, well, thank you a lot for following this blog about this silly snortman i still love with all my heart <3 - Rami

If you are here, well, hi…there's a lot I want to talk about this project but foremost…

- I'm sorry that I wasn't that active near the end - I'm sorry that I left many things unfinished - I'm sorry for those people who had hope for this blog to come back to life - I'm just… sorry for everything else you felt against me and what I've done

But now is the end, and that's all I can do now, say sorry so…

Let's talk about ideas I wanted to do but I couldn't

College decided to eat me and spit me out, and I'm still trapped in there.

So that mixed with some self-doubt and long silences, it made me never follow upon ideas I wanted to do

Let's start with the snow storm plot, with the mages disappearing and hyn befriending Williams the waddle dee.

The idea was for hyn to meet the mages again, who have left "in secret" to find a new place to live near castle dedede, and for there to become this thing where the mages and hyness decided that it would be better for them to live separate, but still visit time to time, as the idea of them being dependent of each other would have hit too close to the whole Void Termina Revival thing. But also was this thing of Hyness being aware that he isn't that alone, and locking himself inside this house in the middle of nowhere would not help against the guilt he had left.

Him leaving that home in search for his girls was proof that he has some will inside him still. Befriending Williams (who was supposed to have this side plot of wanting to be a psychologist) was a way to open up and let himself pay and let go that guilt he had, and start again…

… Is messy, I know, but was low-key inspired by things I'm still dealing with personally

Other ideas were: user interactive events, more Morpho Knight shenanigans, a more developed plot of Hyness starting a new life by moving nearby the waddle dee village Willians lives in, many things related to forgiveness and if people wanted to do so or not…. Just… many ideas related to moving on and letting yourself be allowed to exist and all… As you can see, I really love hyness, and he had some really important things that I related in a way or another…

And, well, kinda related to that…

All my thank-yous' and thoughts

- Thank you for being here - Thank you for interacting with this blog - Thank you for letting this bird draw and ramble and just theorize a lot about this character who was hated by the time this blog started - thank you to the people I meet and talked when I made this account

As my second "Thank you" says, Hyness was disliked a lot at the time I made this blog, and I felt alone in liking him, so that evolved into many drawings and ideas and such…. And made this ask blog in response (and because ask blogs inspired me a lot in my time in Tumblr)

There's a thing tho, by making this blog, I met others who liked Hyness like me, and also felt alone in such feelings

And I befriended them, and I talked to them, and I meet them,

And they told me how much of an inspiration my blog was for their own works and AUs, heck, I was told they started caring for and loving Hyness thanks to me

My blog left a mark on people… I left a mark on people

That's a huge honor

So letting this blog just…rot in an eternal hiatus or silently archive it…that's not good enough so I wrote all this as a way to show my thanks, and as a way to confirm to myself "Hey rami, you finished a project for once, proud of you" Which is something so big after many unfinished projects and ideas that I've started…

So again… thank you so much for being here, for reading this, for letting me do something that started only for me… god I'm crying

Man…

Well, this blog is now archived then, but I may be still around if you see me (tho probably talking about monsters that fit in pockets, or dragons with puzzles and gachas, or these silly virtual livestreamer people, or … well… Kirby)

If you see me around, I'm open for a Hi or Bonjam or whatever, I may still be learning to become more sociable and letting myself be open with what I like but … a greeting may not hurt much? O well…

Jamanke, Jambuhbye!

—Mod Rami

#ask officiant of nothing #mod rami #thank you one last time

[systemrestart]

I finally got the 1st Seihou Project game, Shuusou Gyoku, to run on my computer!! And I got my first Normal 1cc. So to celebrate I wanted to make a post discussing my feelings on it so far. (Plus links to download the game for yourself)

[NOTE: This is exclusively about gameplay, from the perspective of a Touhou enthusiast, so no lore or history, sorry!]

Seihou was meant to be a sort of "sister series" to Touhou, and it definitely shows in many of the patterns, but there are some key differences.

Seihou tends to have lower bullet density overall, but the bullets themselves are Much faster, and the enemies are much more aggressive, with little time to take a breath during bosses and midbosses. Some bosses/enemies even try to tackle you rather than shoot.

Because of this, routing and memorization are more of a factor, but, pulling off a pre-planned dodge for a pattern that would otherwise obliterate you before you even saw it coming, is very satisfying. And there are plenty of areas that can reward improvisation or quick thinking too, so it's not ALL memorization, which I like. A decent mix of both, at least for Easy-Hard difficulties.

Seihou also highly prioritizes grazing; you fill up a gauge as you graze, and this both increases the score you get from the star items, and gives you some extra powerful shots when you collect them. While figuring out Exactly where the hitboxes are can take a bit of trial and error, pulling off a long graze combo and then decimating the enemies with your extra firepower is also super satisfying, AND the benefits kick in at just 1 graze, so even in low density patterns you can milk the rewards by chasing stray bullets to keep the gauge filled.

The only downside to this system is that a lot of the best grazing is done on bosses, and since the bosses never drop star items you can never use your extra shots against them. (With the exception of when the Stage 4 boss sends out some killable enemies)

As for the general design; while the stages can be a bit simple overall, there are some segments that shake things up or try to catch you off-guard, like enemies coming in from the sides to tackle you, or a cool unusual pattern, which I appreciate. The bosses are more challenging and some of them have pretty cool attacks, but sometimes they can also be a little plain...... and sometimes they can be total BS.

Which brings me to my critiques........

There is no way to earn extra lives via good play. You get 3 extra lives at set points (Stage 2, 5, and 6), and that's it. So the only reward for excellent grazing/dodging/scoring is, well, the score itself. Not unusual but I tend to prefer games that give extra rewards for good performance

The hitboxes on the Bomb and Life items are WAY smaller than they appear, so much so you can pass straight through the left or right sides and still not collect them. This can make catching them a pain, particularly in stages where you are Instantly shot at after they drop. Come on, man, just make the hitbox the size of the sprite for vital resources........

The sound and graphic design is....... mixed. The music is pretty good, but the sound design is not as clean as I'd like (plus certain bullets/lasers being...... slightly eardrum-piercing), and the graphics can can cause visibility issues. The biggest offender is Stage 4, which has some backgrounds that make it near impossible to read the enemies flying down at you. Borderline unfair at points.

There are also some bullets that are super tiny, and they're usually used as 'spam' IN COMBINATION with either homing or complex patterns, making them a HUGE pain in the ass. Might not be a Criticism per se but I did want to complain lmao

There is no grace window when you're hit, but dying doesn't cancel out a bomb activation, so what will often happen is: you'll see you're about to get hit, press Bomb the second you do, and then you lose BOTH a life AND one of your freshly replenished bombs. Very frustrating

I think that's it for now! There are some quality of life improvements I wish it had, like item magnetizing or deathbombing, but overall I've been having a LOT of fun with this game, and I think people who love the Touhou games should give them a try!!

For anyone who wants it, here is a link to download it, as well as links and instructions for getting it to run on modern hardware. There is also apparently a fanmade patch released recently, that allows it to run without 3rd party help? Here is the page on that if you wanna check it out

#seihou #seihou project #bullet hell #shmup #ive been really enjoying this #already been playing on Hard mode #would not recommend for FIRST TIME shmup players but if youre already comfortable with Touhou/other bullet hell games..... give it a go! #its a little rough but its fun

[roseofblogging]

I had joked last year about how each year since 2020, I've gotten a diagnosis and/or learned something about myself in a major way. That's true for 2023 as well, but not in the same life-changing way, I suppose. I got an ADHD diagnosis after suspecting as much for a while. I did a lot of travel this year, both with my husband and friends, but I also went to Low Tide City on my own for a Splatoon LAN, where I got to meet a lot of acquaintances for the first time. (And I also met several more people at Gridlock and the Big Dapple events in NYC.)

I started a creative project (a two-player LARP), stalled out on it, and hope to finish it in the first quarter of this year.

I learned more about editing, including more about how I take feedback (it's a struggle lol) and my professional ego regarding people further editing something I've touched.

I met many colleagues for the first time ever after maaany years of talking on Discord. (Like, pre-pandemic!) That was awesome, and I even got to edit a lot of things I loved. (Also some things I hated. C'est la vie.)

I played in one weekend-long LARP as a character many people sought an audience with, challenging my social battery level, and despite my exhaustion by that Saturday night, it was super rewarding and a wonderful time. I ran some LARPs as well, including one I've co-written.

I barely went to any cons this year--not that that's a huge change from the last few years because of the pandemic. But MAGfest had a great covid policy in 2023 that made me feel safe enough to go considering it's right after peak infection rates, and I debuted two cosplays: Velvet from Tales of Berseria and Mizuki from AI: The Somnium Files. Mizuki was to go with friends doing AITSF after literal years of us trying to do that group cosplay, and I'd also wanted to cosplay the prologue version of Velvet for a long time. Ten months later, I attended Anime NYC but without cosplaying, since I was there mostly for work, meeting coworkers, and hanging with friends. I'm missing MAGfest this year because of a scheduling conflict (I'LL BE IN NEW ORLEANS!!!!), and Anime NYC is moving to August, which is the same month as Otakon, which I plan on attending. So I'll probably go to ANYC again but might keep it low-key.

I'd like to graduate from low-level competitive Splatoon into mid-level!

I have no real resolutions for 2024 other than to enjoy life so much that it would piss off people who hate me. 👍

#rose rambles

[anonymous-dee]

Me Oversharing About My Favorite Movie

Okay, so I've been meaning to do a full and intense analysis of "In This Corner of the World" for a WHILE now, but it's been hard to put my words and thoughts together in an articulate manner. I'm going to attempt this time! Whoa! OKAY SO, In This Corner of the World is literally my favorite movie of ALL TIME!!! There is so much symbolism and overlying themes on top of the amazing animation, OST, story, and characters.

So let's start with the fact that I literally love Suzu Urano and relate to her on a spiritual level (she's just like me fr fr). The movie covers her life before, during, and after WW2, and the entire movie is a coming of age story about Suzu's life and how her experiences with the war shape her as a person.

First of all, it's important to establish one key theme that is consistent throughout the movie: Suzu's desire to remain innocent and oblivious, and how the movie employs various scenes in order to depict Suzu's journey through her adolescence and early adulthood.

So let's start off with Suzu's childhood. A lot of her childhood moments are embedded with Japanese folklore and art that literally blend into her reality. As the viewer, it's hard to interpret whether or not she was really kidnapped by the beast character at the beginning when she goes into the city to deliver seaweed. This also occurs when the house spirit shows up at her grandmother's house and starts eating the leftover watermelon rinds (though, Lin turned out to be a real character, so I wonder if Lin was a Yokai after all)? Anyways, the next scene that stood out to me in this regard was when Suzu was painting the water and the white rabbits for Mizuhara's assignment.

There is a scene where Mizuhara is walking away and the animation depicts it in the style of Suzu's painting across the entire screen, as if the realities have blended together.

Lastly, there are all the stories that Suzu would tell her younger sister; All of these factors point to the indisputable fact that Suzu had an amazing imagination in her youth. I'm sure you're wondering why that's significant, if you've read this far, and let me tell you why.

Suzu gets married at 18 years old and moves to Kure to live with her new husband and in-laws. She immediately has to take over for her mother-in-law, who suffers from a bad leg. Suzu's childhood abruptly ends at this point in time. She has to take on the full responsibilities of being a homemaker and serving her community. She almost seems to appear sad about having to grow up so quickly, and I think I can assume this based on how she reacted to Shuzaku asking for her hand in marriage (albeit indirectly through her family), and then her apparent lack of enthusiasm towards getting married.

I'd like to take a moment and project some of my own vibes onto my girl Suzu. So, NOT INCLUDING THE WW2 stuff, I've always found her situation low-key relatable, and yet almost desirable. Let me clarify; I totally understand and empathize and feel and relate towards her innermost feelings of wishing to return to the simpler times of her childhood and to regain that same sense of childhood innocence and simplicity.

But... I sort of inevitably want to romanticize the idea of meeting someone as a child, and then like 10 years later they show up and they're like "hey I never forgot about you, I want to ask for your hand in marriage" and then you go live with a nice family on a pretty mountain and do silly little tasks and chores and cook and clean and water the flowers in the garden... HEAR ME OUT. There's something kind of ideal about that lifestyle, and I'll explain more as to why I think that.

I'm white and American, right? So there's this huge concept for a lot of us that is very distinct from a lot of POC cultures (especially Asian and Hispanic, as far as I know), where our families and our culture value independence and self sufficiency. For a lot of people like me, it's "move out when you're 18, get a good job, provide for yourself, etc." I'm not saying that only white people have this experience, but this is also an American value as well. In many Asian and Hispanic cultures, I know that a lot of people live with their families in intergenerational homes. Grandparents, parents, and children will all share the same space and support each other and live together, and as someone who will never get to experience that it definitely makes me wonder what it is like to grow up in an environment like that.

And it also makes me almost desire Suzu's situation because she lives with an entire household of people who are all working together and supporting each other, and while yes Suzu is the main homemaker, she isn't alone and all of Shusaku's family is supporting her.

Anyways, back to your regularly scheduled entertainment...

There's a lot to say about WW2 and I don't have enough space to write about it. One of the things I find REALLY spectacular about this movie is about its domestic portrayal of the war. And how different I think it is in comparison to most other movies in its genre. I think that most movies that focus on Japan and WW2 employ Hiroshima/Nagasaki and/or a military perspective (please correct me if I'm wrong), or at least that's usually the main things we think about when many of us think of Japan and WW2. So by taking a domestic approach and also combining the overarching genre to be a coming of age story, it can really shed light onto what a regular person's life may have been like throughout the war, and how one's everyday life changes from before wartimes (as well as after). Grave of the Fireflies also does this very well.

War changes people (duh). But it's a very interesting concept to see how WW2 affects the people who are not actively fighting in the war, and how their daily life changes. (Am I being redundant? I apologize oof lol).

Not only did growing up affect Suzu's innocence, but the war essentially and eventually smothered it. Throughout the beginning of the war and through Suzu's transition into adulthood, she still tries to grasp a sense of childhood innocence and beauty; she doesn't want to grow up. So while the beginning of the movie had an entire scene based on her painting, there is a scene where canons are shooting out at the planes, and Suzu's mind depicts the blasts as splatters of watercolor on a canvas, turning the treacheries and dangers of war into something innocent and beautiful.

Here is the scene! I found it on Youtube and it's very spicy! Here is what I interpret to be the midway point between fully accepting the reality of her situation and being somewhat emotionally oblivious to it? If that makes sense? Like yes she's aware that she's in the war (obviously) but it's hard to explain what I mean by "oblivious"... I think there is a CLEAR DISTINCTION between "oblivious" and "unaware," and I definitely think she is aware.

The trauma of the war is perhaps putting Suzu in a weird state of denial where the true impacts of the war haven't fully hit her yet, I think.

There was also a part where she goes home to Hiroshima to visit her family, but things obviously aren't the same. Her brother is presumed dead, her sisters and her parents have to go to work and the community center, etc. And I think this part is significant because the first night she was home, she wakes up from a nap and says something along the lines of "I dreamt I married a man and moved to Kure," and I think that's sort of hinting at her subconscious psychology: she is in a weird sort of in denial about how quickly she is growing up. Then, the next day, when everyone leaves the house to go about their day, Suzu is left alone. I think this cements the idea in her head that things just aren't the same anymore.

And on her later trip to Hiroshima, she learns that her parents are dead and she doesn't seem phased by it whatsoever; I think this is a trauma response or some form of denial.

(Sorry for the low quality image! I couldn't find any other pics!)

Okay so these are herons, I think. REGARDLESS of what they are, they are very important symbolically in the movie. While also being in several scenes during Suzu's childhood, there is also one on the front cover of the anime poster. These herons are most prevalent in Suzu's childhood, and I think that they are symbolic OF her childhood and the innocence that comes along with it.

There is one scene later in the movie where Suzu breaks down, and she runs after a heron that somehow made its way over near her house. Despite the fact that there is an air raid going on, she chases the heron away, shouting something to the extent of: "You shouldn't be here! Fly back over the mountain to Hiroshima! You'll be safe there!" And this line in particular, in my opinion, seems to be Suzu projecting her own feelings onto the bird. Since she comes from Hiroshima, she seems to be depicting the place of her childhood as a safe haven and Kure as a place of danger. (Both literally because of the war and symbolically because of her desire to return to her childhood).

And then there is the scene that RIPPED MY HEART OUT.

I literally cry every single time.

But symbolically, Harumi's death and the fact that Suzu loses her right hand are SO IMPORTANT. This is the moment in the movie where Suzu can no longer ignore the weight of the world and escape into her artistic fantasies. The war is REAL. And though it has always been real, I think it's really HITTING her now. And there's a difference between seeing horrible things happen around you and experiencing those things for yourself. It doesn't feel real until it happens to you, and then you finally understand the impact of everything at once. I think so, anyway. For example, many people think "that will never happen to me" until it does, and it changes your entire life.

But the fact that Suzu lost her RIGHT hand is a core representation of the simple fact that she can never draw again. (Unless she learns how to use her left hand but that remains to be seen). Symbolically, she lost the right hand that drew those beautiful escapes, the right hand that held Harumi's within her own, the right hand that copied the pattern of Keiko's kimono (I'm half quoting the video here because it literally spells it out); and the dream-like state that Suzu is in moments before waking up are very sketchy and incomplete, almost like stick figures-- it's the complete opposite of every other visualization of Suzu's art we've seen thus far.

She reminisces on watermelon and mint candy, things from her childhood, as these stick figure-like depictions of her and Harumi appear on screen briefly. I think they are so "poorly" drawn because that sense of innocence is dying.

And then, when Japan loses the war, Suzu is livid. She has a full breakdown over what everyone's sacrifices were for if Japan was destined to lose the war regardless. "There are still five of us standing right here!" She sobs into the ground, completely defeated and at maybe even at her lowest point. She has finally, fully accepted that her daydreaming days of being oblivious are over, and that she can never return to that sense of childlike innocence.

And then, Suzu rebuilds herself, wishing to remain kind. I literally love her so much she's so great. And her and Shusaku adopt a kid and it's so cute EVEN THOUGH the part with the kid and her mom is lowkey terrifying and I was not expecting that level of gore to come out of nowhere but it's fine. Also Shuzaku and Suzu are cute together, say what you will.

Anyways, In This Corner of the World is definitely a comfort movie for me. I don't know if anyone has come this far, or if anyone even cares enough to read this much about a silly little film, but it's SO IMPORTANT TO ME and I think everyone should watch it! Even if all of this was spoilers!!!!!

#in this corner of the world #anime #movie theory #movie analysis #suzu urano #I will defend this movie with my life #symbolism #please watch it #i spoiled the whole thing but it's fine #Youtube

[latenightbreezeinheaven]

This is an introduction about me which was supposed to be short but my talkactive ass has been wanting to overshare things lately so here we go..🐝

🌻 My name is Aurora and this is not my birth name but just my English nickname.

🌻 I'm from Myanmar (Burma) and it's situated in South East Asia and it is surrounded by Thailand, Laos, China, India and Bangladesh.

🌻 I'm half Burmese and half Chinese but I can only speak Burmese and English.

🌻 I am about to be a medical student in a few months because our course is not going to be started yet till about December.

🌻 My personality type is INFJ-T.

🌻 I am a Buddhist (Theravada).

🌻 I started to learn astrology in August 2021, so it's only been a year. I love astrology so much because it gives me insights about who I actually am and it motivates me in some type of way and I can also know more about people by looking at their natal charts lol 😂 and it gives me happiness overall.

🌻 I don't like any sports but I played Karate in the past. I also rarely move except the times I do workouts which are also very inconsistent.

🌻 I can't play any musical instrument because my parents never allowed me to but if I had a chance, I would love to learn how to play a piano.

🌻 I love to dance, write down my thoughts and sometimes short stories or journal prompts, binge watch movies, read fictions, meditate and take photos of the nature and everything that I find beautiful.

🌻 I have a huge affection for art and paintings though I can't draw and my favourite type of art is Renaissance art.

🌻 I also love to travel A LOT whether it's a short trip or a long one and my favourite country is currently Italy. I also LOVE spaghetti. I also love to drink wine and cocktails.

🌻 I love learning about astronomy, space, black hole and galaxy. I also love to read about Greek and Roman mythology and goddesses. I also love to read about sirens, mermaids, unicorns, fairies, elves and other mystical mysterious creatures. I am also fond of reading the articles about life cycle, reincarnation and a collection of "what if" questions. I love to read about manifestation, spirituality, subliminals and astral projection things. To be honest, I love reading about almost everything unless it's too boring and ordinary.

🌻 I would love LOVE to learn tarot but my mental stability is saying a big NO and my mom won't also let me buy a tarot deck too even if I'm willing to strengthen my intuition and pay for the deck. I also love to collect crystals but I don't have one yet.

🌻 I am a pinterest whore and I stay very low key on social media apps because of some reasons. I hate tiktok because of its bad influence on people with those dangerous trends (sorry tiktok lovers 🥺) and my favourite apps are of course pinterest and youtube.

🌻 My current favourite series is Baby (Italian) and my current favourite songs are Cola by Lana Del Rey, Girls Just Want To Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper and Sugar Daddy by Qveen Herby.

🌻 I love Marilyn Monroe and Megan Fox. They two are literally my idols (not an idol but I just want to be their friend which is really weird). I have a special love for Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, Selena Gomez, Lana Del Rey, Melanie Martinez and Grimes. I also would love to be friends with Grimes because she has so many interesting things to share in my opinion. 😹💕

🌻 My favourite aesthetic is Fairycore. I love Hippie outfits. I also love 50s hollywood vibes because they give me nostalgia.

🌻 I am a Gemini Sun, Virgo Moon, Cancer Rising, Cancer Venus, Cancer Mercury and Aries Mars. I have a cancer stellium (Mercury, Venus and Saturn) and 12th house stellium (Sun, Mercury and Venus).

🌻 My dominant planets are Moon, Saturn and Uranus (in astroseek) and Moon, Mercury and Mars (in astro.com) but I resonate more with the one from astroseek because saturn conjuncts my ascendant and I think I can never identify myself as a Mercury and Mars dominant.

🌻 Oh wait, this blog's big 3 are Gemini Sun, Cancer Moon and Leo Rising and has a 9th house stellium and a Taurus stellium. This might sound crazy but yeahhhh..umm 😭😂

That's all and thank you for reading my long ass introduction if you read it! ❤️

Masterlist✨

[eggman-is-fat-mkay]

Firstly, when you get this, you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)

firstly i think i am very sexy. i've been going to the gym a lot lately and it's paying off! my personal trainer says i need to eat more, and he's right, but i'm still making very respectable gains. i've been holding a plank (hands on floor, not elbows) for a little bit longer every night, just before i go to bed, for a few months now, and last night i set a new personal record of 25 minutes! i was cheating a little bit, shifting side to side and lifting one hand up to give my abs a break, and my form was more than a little sloppy, but still! 25 minutes straight!!!! (the secret is music, and wear loose clothing -- you overheat *super* fast) i've definitely got the six pack to show for it too. and as a certified gay dude and muscle enjoyer i gotta say it is a huge confidence boost to be low-key attracted to the guy i see in the mirror

second i'd say i am a pretty smart guy. most programmers are. i *love* being able to think of something, go "hey, i kinda wish that existed", and then just build it. and then... holy crap, that exists now. and i made it happen. and that's just such a cool feeling that i think everybody should get to experience.

if i don't tell anybody about my current project i'm gonna burst so here we go. i've been browsing a certain monosodium glutatmate related site lately that lets you upload images, put tags on them, and then search for them by their tags, and i've been somewhat disappointed with it. like most boorus, its search feature is quite limited -- you can specify the results have all of these tags, none of these tags, and one or more of these tags, but that's it. if you want to search for one of these two but not both, or one or more of these AND one or more of those, you're outta luck. i thought that was kinda disappointing. fortunately, i'm a programmer, and, as it turns out, this particular imageboard provides a full database dump containing the URL, rating, description, full list of tags, upvote/downvote/favorite count, image URL, etc., of every post on the site, all in one gigantic 3GB .csv file. practically begging me to make a better search function with it. it didn't take me long to whip up a script in rust that could parse that .csv file and, given a search string like "fluffy 1{ cat dog } 2-{ a b c }" (meaning "must be tagged fluffy, either cat OR dog but not both, and two or more of a, b, and c"), spit out a list of URLs of posts that matched. running the script on my laptop, it took about 12 seconds to search through the whole database, 30 if running on my phone. i also thought that was kinda disappointing and i could do better. so i started looking into ways to speed it up. i loaded the entire post database into RAM for faster access (my phone's 6GB of RAM was not thrilled about this, but it pulled through), i used the excellent rust library Rayon to search in parallel across all available CPU cores, i downloaded a second database dump from the site matching each tag name with its internal tag number (storing those instead of the names greatly reduced my RAM usage, not to mention integers are several times faster to search through than text strings), and i wrote a modified version of the search algorithm that took advantage of SIMD instructions to compare four integers at once on a single CPU core. all together, those improvements got my time for a single search down from 30 seconds to 1 second on my phone, and from 12 seconds to 50 milliseconds (that's a 20th of a second!) on my laptop. that's over a 200x improvement! isn't programming cool!!!! also the drag-race linear search algorithm i came up with for searching through the tags faster than a binary search was no doubt come up with long ago by someone much smarter than me, but i don't care i'm still proud of myself for having come up with it. i'm currently working on hooking that search algorithm up to a discord bot and in the process learning the intricacies of using postgresql to keep track of who's looking at what and what they want to see next. i'm learning a ton and it's super fun!

i'm no super-genius, don't get me wrong -- especially that SIMD part was mostly me throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what stuck -- but i definitely felt pretty cool after seeing the 10% performance improvement it got me :P

thirdly i can semi reliably get people to laugh. since i'm autistic this does not come naturally to me, but through many years of practice and a lotta misses i've figured out a system, there's three parts.

When someone asks a rhetorical question, answer it incorrectly. example

when someone else makes a joke, your job is to "yes, and". ex.: "eggman always likes sitting in the sun. like he's cold blooded. i bet he's a lizard." "it's true. zuckerberg's actually my cousin"

commit to the bit. pretend what you just said is true. what would that imply? zuckerberg's my cousin; i probably hang out with him a lot. is he normal for a lizard, and the rest of us are that good at pretending to be human, or is he weird even by our standards? what's lizardfolk physiology like? zuckerberg was acting really strangely in the 2018 facebook senate hearings -- he nearly blew our cover. hey, that's a joke right there. just keep these ideas going in your head and string them together with whatever you can think of. ex.: "zuckerberg's actually my cousin. he's a lot less awkward once the meat suit comes off. i don't know why he gets so nervous in front of humans. guess he's just camera shy. during the facebook senate hearings he was such a mess we had to spoon feed him lines through a transmitter in his fourth ear. i don't know how people didn't notice. swear that guy is gonna out us one day. don't know why they haven't given his meat suit to someone else yet. anyway i talked with him about the whole social media panopticon thing but he was kinda stubborn on that point." alternately: "is zuckerberg your cousin?" "no actually common misconception he's just about the only celebrity who isn't. the overlords keep trying to kill that rumor cause he's making us look bad. there was talk of installing a lizard as the head of facebook so we'd have control over social media but the higher-ups wouldn't sign off on it"

(i lied there's 4 parts) learn how to volley. "if zuck's your cousin, why don't you have a facebook account?" "zuck knows enough about me just being my cousin; i don't need him being able to look up all my browsing history and bring it up at family reunions." from here, if reaction is positive, you can run with the bit: "and you know he'd do it in the most well-meaning way too; he'd see me and immediately ask if i found those dildos i was searching for two weeks ago, and if not offer to help. bro has zero social awareness"

for skills i practiced in reddit comment sections, they translated to real life surprisingly well. of course, like anything, this takes practice. coming up with stuff like that on the fly did not come naturally to me at first, and unfortunately i can't really say for certain when or why that changed. i guess my advice would be hang around with people you think are good at making jokes, watch them, and try to figure out why what works, works, and when you think you've got something, try your hand with some friends. or you could take the autistic route of just saying something that wasn't intended to be funny, having people laugh, and laughing along with them while silently puzzling over why that was funny and how you can make a funny on purpose next time. something that's important to remember though is that if you can't think of anything, that's okay. jokes often make conversations more fun, but a lack of jokes does not often make them worse.

smart, handsome, and funny is a pretty good set, i gotta say. i'm not perfect -- no one is -- and i'm definitely not sure how many other people would agree with any of those three assessments of myself (my parents tell me i'm smart, but don't everyone's?), but i'm pretty happy with where i'm at life wise and the rate i'm progressing. you asked for five things i liked about myself; i'm a bit busy at the moment so i'll have to give you a rain check for the other two. but i will definitely be forwarding this ask to everyone i can think of who hasn't blocked me!

#be kind to yourself #positivity #most people have done something that's brag worthy #what's yours? #idc how tiny it is i wanna hear it #if you're reading this light my ask box up #whatever you're proud of yourself for

[bcofl0ve]

🔥 Hey, first time sending an anon here. I’m coming from a neutral and peaceful place when I ask what I’m about to ask- just genuinely curious. Is there anything from your side of the fandom that irks you and is there any parts of the other side of the fandom that you low key agree with?

I’m asking not so much to be combative or cause drama…I’m just genuinely fascinated by this fandom. I’m a little removed as I’m a fan of Austin but not as die hard as you and his following (I’d say I’m pretty casually a fan). I lurk bc I had do some research for a project (I’m in the industry but not like some huge deal or anything) and I got the most sucked into the Kaustin rabbit hole compared to other fandoms as my research started around awards seasons so…here I am still checking in and curious about both sides all of these months later 😅

Being both a bit removed and being in the industry…in all bluntness and fairness, I find both sides get a few things wrong, fill in blanks with a narrative that suits their opinion, and has a few stretches of the imagination/over simplifications about the complexities of the industry and human dynamics and relationships. And obviously nobody can be 100% right about people they don’t know (hell, even about ppl we DO know we can make wrong assumptions). Plus when things get dramatic to an “ us vs them” extent it’s all too human to get further tunnel vision about your own beliefs and opinions. So I’m curious if there’s anything good or that you agree with on the other side and anything about your side that you side eye.

For what it’s worth, I don’t think they’re PR. But I also think their body language is off and do believe they’re in different places in their life for it to work out long term. I’m not telling you YOU should take my side and agree as much as I’m trying to level with ya and show my hand as I do truly come in peace here and see some aspects to both sides from my perspective. And if that’s not proof enough, here’s a bonafide peace offering: while I see good and bad and right and wrong to both sides…Pappi Austin and their at least 4-20 accounts all with caplocked insults are unhinged AF lol. I promise I see bad on their side (which I’m highlighting bc that’s one of the worst parts of that side of the fandom from my POV. I get I’m asking you and by proxy YOUR side this tough question, hence I wanted to share that part lol).

So if you’re up for it, anything you low key agree with or appreciate from their side, anything you think is off or you’re not as on board with on your side, and hell do you have any nuanced thoughts on all of it that wouldn’t naturally come up (not like a put down on either side or a compliment but just…thoughts you haven’t gotten to document that are related to this question).

Thanks for reading and thanks a bunch if you answer.

omg your first anon welcome to the crazy show hahaha. and no worries about your opinion, i have a dear friend in the twitter fandom who is in your camp there. she knows my take, i know hers and we get along just fine bc we simply talk about other things 99% of the time lolll.

my thing with certain folks on the other side that gen idk, makes me sad. is that i do think there are a select number of folks that are like. genuinely worried about austin thinking he’s being trapped in a pr relationship. and i know that worry is coming from *some* place of care for him, even if it’s severely misguided. over on twitter there’s a lot of twitter accounts that seem to be folks who maybe didn’t grow up with the internet of today, and don’t have tiptop media literacy and it *kills* me that people like pappiaustin got their hooks into those folks/has these poor people convinced an actor they love is miserable and trapped in a horrible relationship.

and as much as i do, right now, think she’s the one…shit happens and life twists and turns and that might change someday. i said a few months ago that i think a hypothetical breakup would probably be fueled by kaia having a midnight rain by taylor swift moment, and still think that. she’s so young. you will never see me deny that!

as for our side? i do think we could pick where to dig our heels in better sometimes, and we VERY much includes me. but like. they aren’t engaged right now. probably. and that’s okay! i don’t think they’re secretly engaged and when i see someone double down on thinking they are i cringe. 😅

i think ppl who aren’t anti kaia can also be really over protective of austin even about things that aren’t related to her and cross boundaries in that area at times.

like- i was in a group chat when lisa died where someone was more or less hypotheticalling about exactly how austin heard the news/how he reacted and it made me really really uncomfortable. and i mean i had fleeting thoughts on that i won’t lie. but sharing them in a huge group chat where you’re more or less writing fanfic…icky. i’m so grateful for my friends who i talked with one on one those awful two weeks because having that space to unpack my worry for him without bringing it to the masses kept my head screwed on.

also hey, speaking more generally i baby him too sometimes. but you gotta be self aware of when you’re being too much! self awareness is a gift and more people should use it!

#hot seat night with mollie

[remcycl333]

Sorry for the last ask I sent it by mistake 😭 I’ll type it out again

I had a huge argument with my male friends yesterday. They were basically refusing to acknowledge my their male privilege. I told them that they have certain privileges that I don’t and they had the audacity to say “what privilege “ like is it not obvious???? Also every time I brought up an issue women face such as rape, abuse, acid attack etc they responded with “yes but it’s getting better” like dude every issue is getting better. We are all fighting and slowly all issues are getting better the problem is that these issues even existed in the first place. The whole argument proved that these guys were low-key sexist and projecting all the sexist views that they’d hidden. I want to cut them off but I meet them every day in school unfortunately 🥲

oh god i had an ex bf like this. we had an argument about how he saying i wasn’t really a “gamer” bc all o played was games such as the sims, animal crossing, stardew, etc. aka, girl games. he didn’t use that term, but i called him out on it. and he was like “rem it’s 2021 no one genders games anymore that is so 2012” and i was like ???? yes they do?!

another time we were walking downtown after dark to his car together and i jokingly (not so jokingly) said i was glad i was with him or else i’d be terrified cuz i’d probably be attacked. and he acted like i was crazy.

the thing is is that this boy was a feminist? like i know for a fact he loved women and supported our rights and believed victims and acknowledged his male privilege, but sometimes he was just so ignorant. it was like, since none of his friends were misogynistic and he wasn’t exposed to much casual misogyny online (other than news stories and such) he just thought it was much less of an issue than it was? like he thought that bc he didn’t encounter many misogynistic ppl in his every day life, that they meant it had gotten so much better and more “rare”. which just isn’t the case, and as women we are very very aware of that fact.

i’m sorry your friends were like this, i know how much it hurts when you find out that your male friends are misogynists. its like a lot of men think that unless they are attacking women themselves they aren’t misogynistic, which just isn’t true. this shit should really be taught in school or something :/

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

TW: mentions of past abuse (not detailed), mention/implied transphobia and queerphobia, mentions of gross/unsanitary living conditions (not as bad as the warning sounds), creepy behaviour, landlords, pressured into doing something

Looking for: Validation, reassurance, advice

I was able to get away from my not-great parents a while back and I had to stay with my aunt (who I barely know) for a few months while I tried to find an apartment. Apartments in my area are super expensive and super difficult to actually get (especially with low references, looking even younger than I am, and the sheer number of people looking for a place).

My aunt was... bad for my mental health to put it one way, and was semi-threatening to kick me out (if I spoke to her she said she wouldn't, but she kept telling me she wanted me out and other stuff). So my other aunt (who I also barely know) offered to help, which is nice I guess? She made an appointment with some guy over facebook and said that the place was "perfect" for me.

But the landlord (who apparently lives at the house but never said so???) gives me creepy vibes and whenever I'm out of the room I'm renting he'll come from wherever he is and watch me. I mowed the lawn the other day and he took out a chair to watch me. I sometimes go up to cook (I'm in the basement) and he'll come out of his room to watch me. He'll make comments about "not seeing me often" and the first week I was here he came down to my room in the later evening to "check if I was home".

I think it's because of my history of being abused and just getting out of two abusive situations within a few months but I just cannot stand him. I hate how he looks at me and watches and I hate how he has the key to my room and could enter whenever he wanted. I hate how he is always at the house and I cannot use the kitchen without him coming to watch. I hate how if I spend time in any of the shared spaces he'll come and make comments about him "not seeing me". He even contacted the aunt that talked to him and told her that "he especially wants me to rent the place over anyone else". That could be him trying to avoid the huge amount of low/no income people that live in the area, but that also gave me a creepy vibe.

I know it's likely just him being kind/welcoming to someone he's letting rent a room in his house, but my aunts pretty much forced me to sign a contract with him and just.. left me. I couldn't not do it because I'd be homeless, and I had no other options because my aunts pretty agreed ""on my behalf"" to the contract, brought me there, and then went back to treating me like dirt. I don't expect anything from them (the less contact from the one the better, I don't want her near my life) but even over the thanksgiving weekend I didn't hear from them (even though they claim "family is everything" and "we'll always be here and care for you").

I'm also not allowed certain foods in the house, not allowed anyone over, apparently have to clean the bathroom because the other people who use it are disgusting (they had stuff growing on their walls?? HOLES in the walls?? the kitchen is so filthy that the walls and cabinets and kitchenware itself are a dirty brown/grey).

I hate it here. I hate how gross I feel just trying to exist. I put a heavy box in front of my door every night in case the landlord tries to come in. Sometimes he sends me text messages asking if I'm home. I'm also trans (ftm) and if they find out I could get kicked out. When we came for the original looking my aunt made me scrape off my nailpolish because "being like that is why you can't get a place to stay".

I also have an online job and no real friends (finished schooling a few years earlier than others my age) and I just.. I feel so gross. Is it just me? Am I projecting how other people have treated me onto someone who is trying to be welcoming? Or is he genuinely being kinda creepy? I have 10-ish months until the contract ends (I have to pay him three months rent if I break the contract) but by then I might not be able to get a different place. I kind of want to run away somewhere, I have enough money saved that I theoretically could, but that'd mess up too many things.

sorry if this is messy, hope you all are doing well

Hi anon,

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds quite complicated and stressful. Your landlord does sound creepy.

Something you could consider is gathering evidence of your landlord stalking you and potentially report him if you wanted to. If anyone has any other comments or suggestions it would be greatly appreciated.

I wish I could be a better help. I hope that you are able to find a place to live on your own terms and without any weird landlords. I hope I could help at least a little bit. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#trauma talks #mod bun #trauma details #abuse