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#but can i really make karlach sad?
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Now I'm sitting at work and can't stop thinking about the angst of romancing Karlach as the Dark Urge who has connections to Gortash.
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podcastenthusiast · 9 months
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Karlach's VA deserves an award for that performance after killing Gortash. Fucking heartbreaking.
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feyascorner · 5 months
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Please please please I am in desperate need of Astarion comforting Tav.
Like Tav is always comforting everyone else, but there is never anybody to hold their hand when they are scared or hug them when they are sad. Please let them be scared. Let them be sad, let them be vulnerable and let them feel their own emotions.
Tav needs a hug :,)
a/n. no you're so right because I AM ALWAYS OPEN TO TAV LOVE!!!!! This ended up a lot more fluffy and lighthearted than I expected but I hope that’s okay! :) also this is not proofread pls excuse me for the grammar errors that are definitely in here.
You don’t mind helping others, really. You don’t mind guiding Shadowheart to escaping her evil goddess, you don’t mind finding a way to aid Gale’s ticking time bomb, and you don’t mind spending hours in battle to find a piece of infernal iron for Karlach. It’s natural after all, because they’re your precious companions.
But it’s also made the thought of being something else—the one being comforted—more shameful than anything.
It was just a bad day, honestly. Bits of your life being pricked at with needles. The whole week had been hellish, but today seemed to be bent on finally wiping you clean. A battle going wrong, the lake freezing over and preventing you from taking a bath, the pot of soup you were in charge of burning to cinders—they’re all small, but they add up. And when you find that your favorite pair of gloves are splitting at the seams, it’s your final straw.
You stumble into your tent, barely holding back tears as you close the flap shut behind you, signaling that you wanted to be alone. You collapse into your bedroll, face first as even the blanket beneath you isn’t enough to cushion you against the hard floor.
Gods.
You squeeze your eyes shut, begging your tears to leave. The others have a lot more problems at the moment—ones that wager between life and death—but you can’t help the overwhelming burst of emotions you’ve kept bottled in for weeks now. So many bad things are happening, but there’s no time for you to mourn, because the least you can do is stand beside your companions in their own grief. It forces you to constantly stay alert, keeping your heart open for them but shut closed for yourself.
It’s so, so overwhelming. It almost feels like it’ll swallow you whole.
“Are you alright, darling?”
You hadn’t even heard him entering the tent, and immediately your shoulders tense as you shoot up into a sitting position, wiping desperately at your eyes. You know they’re red, but you hope he ignores it. “No, I’m just tired. I’m turning in early for tonight, sorry.”
He stares at you, making his suspicion blatantly obvious to urge you to continue but you don’t, forcing your eyes to the ground. “No need to be sorry, my love. I was just making sure.”
You want to throw yourself into him. To let him hold you as you complain about the more mundane parts of life as well as the feelings wracking the sobs of your chest. To let him soothe you as all you can do is cry.
But you don’t. It’s just not what you do.
“Pity, these pretty things of yours,” he lifts your gloves that had been discarded on the ground with a cock of a brow. “I quite liked them. But…they don’t seem to be at a complete loss yet.”
You finally look at him.
“Why it just needs a bit of stitching and some polish. It’ll look even better than it did before with my handiwork,” he inspects the fabric closely. “Hm, I was finished with fixing Karlach’s shirt anyway, I suppose I could spare some time for your gloves.”
Despite his words, his eyes are gentle as they shift over to you, and it makes your lip quiver.
“I’ll ask again,” he says softly, and you know it’s an effort in vain to resist. “Are you alright?”
Like a river breaking through a dam, you fling yourself into him, tears already slipping down your cheeks as they smear against his shirt. You worry about the snot for a split second, yanking away, but he just pushes your head back to him, sighing with you practically wrapped on top of him.
“You should have told me before things had gotten this bad, my love,” he says, no true judgment laced in his words. If anything, he sounds amused. It makes you cry even harder as you wail loudly into his chest, with his hand rubbing soothing circles into your back.
It’s like a breath of fresh air.
“Would you like to talk about it?” He asks eventually after what seems like eternity, and your sobs have calmed to sniffles.
“…not now.”
“Very well,” he laces his fingers with yours, and you tilt your head up just enough to see the fond smile stretching on his lips. “I shall remain here until you’re ready. Until then, I have no quarrels with our current arrangement.”
You mumble against him as he lifts your knuckles to his lips. “…thank you for this.”
“You needed this,” he replies, as if it’s obvious. “I’m not you, of course, which is why comfort is not my strong suit, as charming as I am. I much prefer blowing off steam in a bloody battle, but this—“ he runs a hand through your hair, gentle enough not to pull at any strands. You resist the need to sigh into the feeling. “—this, I can do as many times as you need.”
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tragedybunny · 7 months
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Hey there, saw you were so short requests for Astarion. I'll make it short and simple for ideas. How about either; autistic-coded, plus size or shorter! Tav relationship with Astarion headcanon ideas?
Thanks for the ask. I decided to go with autistic Tav since I actually have an idea for a plus size Tav rolling around my idea doc.
Astarion x Autistic GN!Reader Headcanons
Astarion is so pretty, he intimidates you. You’ve always been an outsider, and the people that put you down the most are always the pretty, perfect, definitely not weird people. 
Despite this, you start to find him nice enough, even letting him feed on you. 
When Astarion starts flirting with you, you absolutely do not notice, much to his frustration.
When he eventually bluntly asks you for sex, it makes you so sad. Being the town oddball, you’re used to being propositioned as a joke. You quietly turn him down and decide Astarion isn’t your friend after all. 
You keep feeding him though when he needs it. Mostly because you’re not sure how to tell him about how it made you feel.
Astarion is stunned you turned him down, sure you haven’t been responsive to his flirting, but you get along well enough. And he’s afraid, you need to be on his side since everyone looks up to you. 
He tries to flirt a few more times, but he finds it hurts a little more each time you don’t reciprocate. Even worse, he starts thinking about how nice it would be if you did, even if it was just a smile thrown his way. 
It’s so confusing, he stops even feeding from you, worried one night he’ll ask to just stay, to be allowed to even be in your presence for a few hours. 
You’re always so quiet and reserved around him, but he starts to notice how there’s certain people you just bloom around. Karlach for example, you seem to have no problem chatting the large Tiefling’s ear off. 
It would seem you just don’t like him. 
One day the two of you are rummaging through a ruined house and end up in an old library. A shout from you makes him turn and ask if you’re alright. 
You explain you’re excited because you found a book from this series you love. It’s these biographies of old nobles, heroes, etc., fictionalized but really fun. 
You’re smiling and your eyes are so bright. Astarion’s never seen anything so beautiful. 
Then it all dies in an instant. “I’m sorry, this is silly. I’m probably bothering you.” 
Astarion wants to gut every person who ever made you feel that way. And he can tell there were many. 
He hurries to assure you that you are not boring him, and this is not silly. 
With a little prodding, you continue until the sound of Gnolls in the distance makes you both realize it’s time to go. 
At the last second, he recalls he saw the author’s name in another pile that had fallen from the shelf. He plucks it out and hands it to you. “Now you have two.”
That night, you shyly turn up at his tent, asking if he’d like to borrow one. 
At this point, he’d read a book Gale wrote on Tressyms just to talk with you about it. 
“If you’ll stay and read with me.” He’s shocked you agree.
It’s becomes a ritual, you read together at night, and talk about it on the road during the day. 
You’re finally all bright and cheerful with him, and it takes his breath away. 
One night, he can’t resist and leans in to steal a kiss while you’re chatting. 
You’re stunned. Normally you’d think he was making fun of you again, but now that you’ve gotten closer, it’s just confusing.
You finally have the courage to ask, and Astarion confesses how long he’s liked you. 
You’re overwhelmed and take a while to speak, making Astarion afraid he’s just ruined everything.
When you do, everything spills out, as you hurriedly explain why you kept your distance. 
Astarion really can’t believe that a kind, gorgeous person like yourself was some sort of strange outcast. But he is a Vampire so maybe he’s skewed. 
The two of you take things slow, you don’t exactly have much experience in romance. 
Which is nice, it let’s Astarion figure himself out a bit more. 
He realizes that sometimes you get in over your head in social situations, and he’s always there to back you up or take over.
The first time you had a meltdown, you were both scared, Astarion that he'd caused it somehow and you that he'd see how abnormal you were.
Afterwards, he starts to open up more about disassociating and his nightmares.
You learn how to take care of each other when these things happen. 
Astarion will admit he doesn't always follow the thought process that's going on in that lovely head of yours, but it makes you even more fascinating, not frustrating like you worry. 
You call yourself strange and again he reminds you he's a literal blood sucking, undead, creature of the night. Who's the strange one? 
When you talk about something you're passionate about, you're amazing to watch. 
Astarion doesn't come with ingrained expectations you can never meet. He just wants you to be you. 
You've never felt more comfortable and safe around anyone. 
Astarion often threatens to head back to your hometown to teach a few people a lesson. You tell him it doesn't matter anymore, you're so happy right now, today 
The two of you argue constantly about who's luckier to have ended up in this relationship. But it feels like you were made to be together. 
Tag list, to be added comment or dm me
@micropoe10 @spacebarbarianweird @writingmysanity @mxxny-lupin @azu21
@tallymonster @dependsonthedream
@sunfire-ancunin @bambamwolf87 @fayeriess
@lumienyx @elora-the-slutty-songstress
@astariongf @satanicspinosaurus @lisrelly
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chaoticbardlady99 · 4 months
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I Wondered If I Could Come Home (Astarion x F! pregnant reader) (Part 3)
Synopsis: A hag has set her eyes on you and Eowyn- Astarion is determined to kill the damn thing.
CW: Mentions of child loss
Author note: Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are much appreciated!!!!
Picture does not belong to me! Please reach out to me if it is yours!
P.s. lightly edited
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Month 8 has been blissful and going into your last month- you actually feel stronger than you have the entire time.
You sit on a bench, reading another book about babies (you save the Dhampir books for locations with less eyes), as Astarion throws a ball with Scratch and Wide Eyes (Karlach thought her name for the Owlbear was clever) in the local park. Astarion had been fed up with their zoomie shenanigans since they began earlier this morning. You wanted to go outside anyway- so it was perfect!
Eowyn kicks every so often to let you know that she is still there and doesn’t intend on leaving anytime soon, but overall, it’s been a really easy day. It’s fun to be able to watch Astarion enjoy such mundane life activities and it makes you realize how many simple things in your life that you have taken for granted.
You smile to yourself as you continue to read your book and you finally feel hungry enough to begin munching on the pastry Astarion bought you.
It was an apple cupcake and it was surprisingly very very yummy.
“My, my,” a scratchy voice says, “aren’t you a pretty little bred thing.”
You feel the hairs on your neck stand up and you turn very slowly to look at the elderly woman who stares at you with a look of hunger in her eyes. Oh- it’s the woman Astarion bought the cupcake from. She looked… friendlier earlier?
You don’t know why you feel like you are in danger all of a sudden, but your arms go over your stomach protectively- one of them ready to fire a cantrip if needed. The energy around her feels familiar, but different- you’ve been in the presence of this type of magic before, but you can’t remember when.
“You are that pretty girl that lives in the house with the dark curtains,” she steps closer, “you come and buy those herbs with your little Cleric friend!”
Oh- maybe that’s why I recognize her more? I’ve seen her more than I’ve realized?
“You know, Droplet, I could take that little one off your hands.”
Your whole body freezes at the statement and her already wicked smile becomes even more menacing and even intimidating.
“You do look close to death as is- you don’t really want to birth a child you won’t survive having do you? Especially not a bloodthirsty Dhampir!”
You feel your heart racing, a deep sadness and fear is coursing through you.
Eowyn, my sweet girl, you are not going anywhere.
That relieves some of the uncomfortable emotions stirring within you, but this woman has you in a trance. You can’t look away from her and you don’t feel like you can move.
“I- I don’t know you,” you say shakily, “I- you need to walk away, please. I’m not interested and I don’t know what you are talking about.”
You don’t even sound convincing to yourself. You begin to feel really sleepy all of a sudden and your eyes are becoming harder to keep open. Something is wrong and as much as you want to call out to Astarion- your mouth feels heavy.
“Oh, Droplet,” the woman tuts, “it will be okay- you’ll wake up and it will all be bet-“
“What in the hells do you think you are doing?”
Whatever spell the woman had tried to put you under broke when she jumped at Astarion’s voice. You look over at the father of your child and you almost begin to sob. You have never been more grateful for how menacing Astarion can look when he wants to.
“Oh, hello!” she recovers her composure, “I know this young, adorably pregnant girl from the market. I was just offering to… adopt.”
“Oh yes,” Astarion snarls, “because Hags are known for their kind hearted souls and their selfless adoption of children.”
You feel sick to your stomach. Scratch is up on the bench and standing between you and the Hag- his hackles are raised and a long, low growl is released from his throat while Wide Eyes stands right next to you as close as he can get.
The Hag looks at you, then Astarion, then Scratch, and lastly, Wide Eyes before she returns her gaze back to yours. She gives you one last wide grin.
“I will see you later, Droplet. You should know that I always get what I want.”
You turn to Astarion who is pushing past the Owlbear- your face is in between his hands in an instant and he’s frantically searching over you- looking for signs of maltreatment..
Astarion pulls out an antidote from his pocket and makes you drink it- just in case the woman had intentionally poisoned the cupcake. It didn’t make the intense sleepiness you feel go away, but at least you know you aren’t dying.
It doesn’t matter to him though- Astarion is quick to pull you up and support you while you walk home. You can tell Astarion wants to just pick you up and run back home to Shadowheart, but you both know how crazy that might look considering normal men who have Astarion’s physique can’t carry pregnant women.
The park is only a block away, but it felt like it took hours. The world is hazy and you shift in and out of focus as Shadowheart begins to check on you.
“Wh-when did Shaodowww smart get here?”
“Will you please figure out what’s wrong already, CLERIC!?”
Astarion yells and your jumbled brain jumps- tears come falling out of your eyes.
“I-I’m sorry,” you sob, “I- I didn’t- I shouldn’t-“
“Shhhhhhhh, my Darling,” Astarion is sitting next to you in an instant as you begin to tilt over, “it’s okay- this is not your fault.”
“You….. sur…..”
Your question dies on your lips as you give into the exhaustion and fall asleep with your head on Astarion’s shoulder.
***********************
Astarion’s chest loosens when Jaheira, Minsc, Gale, and Halsin arrive. At least now he can go and kill the hag without worrying about dying in the process. He almost left after you had fallen asleep- the muffin he had bought you had in fact been laced with a sleeping potion. Astarion felt like a complete idiot, but Gale reassured him that he couldn’t have possibly known.
You are laying peacefully asleep in your bed and Astarion finds himself putting his hand against your belly to make sure Eowyn is okay- her kicks give him instant relief from the anxiety he is feeling.
He almost lost both of you and that thought is still enough to make Astarion homicidal. He will not let another evil individual take his life, his happiness- his home- ever again.
“S-star?”
Your eyes are staring at him lazily as you try to blink away the sleepiness. Astarion gently grasps your hand and brushes the stray hairs out of your face.
“I’m right here, my Love,” Astarion whispers, “I’m not going to let anything happen to either of you. I promise.”
You whimper and sniffle at Astarion’s words- your bottom lip trembling. Astarion climbs into the bed behind you and holds you to him- you burst into tears.
“I al-almost lost-“ you say through sobs, “Eow-“
“Shhhh Darling, it’s okay. She’s okay,” he soothes, “I’m going with the others to kill the Hag. Jaheira and Shadowheart are going to stay here with you- okay?”
“Don’t go,” you turn awkwardly to look at him, your face is grief stricken, “I don’t want to lose you- please don’t go.”
“Darling…”
“Please.”
Right as Astarion responds- Gale is knocking on the door.
“Would it be alright if I came in?”
“Yes,” you both say in unison.
Gale smiles at Astarion sadly after he looks at you. Astarion didn’t think about the fact that it was hard for your friends to see you in this emotional state until he moved in. Shadowheart cries after leaving the room when you’ve had a particularly scary vomiting episode or false contraction. She is terrified for you and it made him realize he had been wrong about her as well. Shadowheart is a selfless person for the right people.
“Minsc and Halsin are about ready to go, Astarion,” Gale looks between the two of you- noticing how the comment created some tension, “Tav- he will come back alive. We all will. We fought Auntie Ethel as a group of total strangers with no battle experience together and won. This will be a breeze, my Friend.”
“You really think so?”
“I know so.”
You take a deep, inhale in and with one last sniff you agree to not put up a fight about Astarion going. Astarion can’t believe that you would trust Gale’s opinion on the matter more, but he does understand the sentiment. It’s how he feels about Jaheira and Shadowheart staying behind.
He leaves a chaste kiss on your forehead and whispers promises of seeing you soon- promises he intends on keeping.
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sae1549 · 22 days
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More very random head cannons. -SFW—NSWF-
Characters mentioned: Astarion, Gale, shadowheart, laezel, Wyll, Karlach, Minthara and Halsin +1
Content warning: hair pulling, oral f/recieving & m/recieving, knife play, size kink, predator/ pray kink.
Word count: 3.2k
Astarion
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-SFW-
- He has a very gravelly voice in the morning that lasts around 25 minutes.
- He absolutely loves cats. And later you end up moving to the underdark, you both adopt a cat that is able to travel alone to get the things that they need. He sees it as your baby and treats it as such.
- He is the person you go to if you want any gossip. When you both get to the underdark I could see him becoming a bartender or something like that. Where he can swindle people of their money while having fun doing it.
- He can cook. Contrary to him not eating normal food anymore he was once human. But he will look over cookbooks for a while if you tell him that you would like to try his cooking.
- He dislikes flowers, of course he thinks that they are beautiful but they do not live long. He gets sad because he links that thought to losing you. So he tries to keep those thoughts away from him.
- He absolutely loves shoes, he can rant and rave about them, when everyone was in camp he would like to go up to gale the most. He really liked his shoes, even going as far as stealing them. Only to have a grumpy gale walking through camp with his arms crossed pushing Astarion over and taking his shoes back.
- Astarion has to clean himself in his bat form as well as his normal form. So he takes extra long in the shower. But he gets so fluffy!
- He starts seeing a therapist after everything is settled in the underdark.
- He loves to give forehead kisses.
- Astarion loves to be called beautiful!! Call him beautiful often!!!!!
- When you ask him what his natural eye color is he thinks about it for a while getting back to you telling you that they were a steel blue.
- He does not have many things, but he wants to some day. So without him noticing you slowly start to give him little things here and there. Like an extra bedroll that you had, a blanket. Some new pillows, candles, anything that you can find that you think he would like to make him more comfortable.
- He loves horror movie nights!!!!!!!!!
-NSFW-
Ascension ver.
- When he is ascended he does not care as much if you get off first.
- He would be a lot more rough, biting much more feverishly and more often.
- He would give you head, but he would not do it for long.
- He knows exactly how good you are feeling, but will make you tell him.
- He is the dominant one.
- He will take up multiple partners as he expects you to do the same. He would go out of his way to ask if you would want to add another partner into your nightly activities.
- His sex drive would increase greatly.
- He sets a brutal pace.
- He likes to tease.
- He would not fall asleep after doing it, but he would ask you about what you liked and how he did.
- He lets you rest your head on his lap to fall asleep after.
Gale
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-SFW-
- Man can sing. But mostly does it when he is bathing or concentrating. Quite interesting to hear for the first time when you are in battle together. Singing in a tired gravely voice before shooting off another spell.
- He tried to convince Tara to let him dress her up in a cute little outfit one time. He left around 30 minutes later covered in scratches. That is to say he does not make those comments anymore.
- He likes painting from memory, yes he can control the weave but he would like to have some sort of proof if there was ever a day when he could no longer handle the weave any longer.
- When coming back from a particularly hard day, if you massage his shoulders a bit he will melt into a puddle and fall asleep.
- His favorite juice is apple juice.
- Always likes books more than movies. Does not matter if it is actually a good movie.
- He keeps photos of you on hand so he can show his students. And they know so much about you and he wants to ask if you would visit his class to shed some light on recent events. Totally not an excuse for him to see you more.
- He likes his food hot, even his salads. All food needs to be hot.
- Loves silver jewelry, his wedding ring is silver with purple stones embedded into the ring. You have the matching version obviously but it is a wide band with white and purple stones honored on the ring.
-NSFW-
- He is into pulling hair, if things are getting a bit more rough. You are sitting on his lap. Getting into a very heated makeout session, in a heated kiss his hand snakes up onto the back of your head, seating itself into your hair. The other hand softly rocking you back and forth. He breaks away from the kiss. “You are quite breathtaking my love.” He says through slightly labored breaths, he grips and gently pulls on the hair at the back of your head. Swiftly latching his lips onto your neck.
- He does like when there is a bit of lightheartedness while making love, but it is serious so he will always go back to being more serious.
- He likes to lay in the sun after finishing, watching as you also bask in the light, he thinks it makes you look ethereal.
- He would go at a moderate pace, and would not have very good rhythm when he first starts.
- He thinks it is a bit romantic to have music playing while enjoying eachothers company. So there will be soft piano playing in the background.
- He definitely uses magic, mage hand would come in handy, being able to bind your hands for a little rougher session.
- He does not own any toys, but would be okay with owning some if it helped you get off better. He would end up enjoying it immensely.
- Public sex is something that he could be talked into. As long as it is somewhere where less people are. But there is still the thrill of possibly being caught.
- He masterbates from time to time, it is not often. But if you are not around and he is fully alone then he would enjoy himself.
- His stamina is not very high, but he can fully please you and a little more if he is asked.
Lae’zel
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-SFW-
- She would keep a collection of rusted or busted knives to fix while at camp. It helps her calm down plus it gives her something to look forward to.
- She would eat dinner at either 5 pm or 10 pm no in between.
- Talks to herself all the time. Saying she is the best therapist she knows.
- Her favorite color is Silver.
- She likes to read before she goes to bed.
- She also likes to sit on a high point at the camp to look at the stars.
- She would be an astrology girl. And would believe it completely.
-NSFW-
- She is the top.
- She is a biter, lightly gliding her teeth across your skin. She loves to feel you shiver from the touch she is giving you.
- She is not loud, and does not want you to be loud either.
- She would be 100% serious in bed. No laughing, no jokes.
- She has a moderate sex drive.
- She is a C cup.
- She would not fall asleep directly after having sex. She would wait until you fell asleep before she would sleep.
- She would have a small collection of toys that she would bring into your sex life.
- She has a lot of stamina, she would want to go more than one round if you are up for it.
Wyll
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-SFW-
- He liked bugs when he was a kid.
- He really likes spicy food, and will go out with Karlach to find it.
- Has a very big sweet tooth, and loves to share it with everyone in camp. He has a whole pocket in his pack dedicated to sweets. Giving them away to children you may meet. It makes him feel extra happy if there is a group that he can give it to. But he has a special place for candy that you specifically like, which he gives to you when you feel down.
- He loves Halsin, and goes to him for advice about his father.
-NSFW-
- He loves sensual romantic sex.
- He could get off to kissing. You don’t even have to fully have sex to get him all riled up.
- Man is cheesy, he will set this up when you are living together. Setting out roses leading from the front door to your bedroom. When you walk into the bedroom it is enveloped in a warm soft glow of candlelight dancing over the horned man laying across your bed that is also covered in flower petals in the shape of a heart. “Welcome home my sweet.” He would say in a sultry voice, getting off the bed to meet you. Taking a rose off the table and handing it to you.
- He would be really good at praising you.
- “Tell me how good I make you feel.”
- He is not very experienced, but that is okay, he is very willing to learn.
- He likes things to be more serious in the bedroom, but a soft giggle or smile would not go missed.
- He would have a slow pace, he would want to take his time and enjoy every moment.
Shadowheart
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-SFW-
- She loves yoga. And will do it every chance that she has downtime to do it. But it is mostly just her stretching.
- She would be a Hello kitty girl, and would own so many of the stuffed animals.
- She hates classical and post- disco music. But would love R&B and jazz music. Shadow heart in the garden with soft music playing in the background. She hums along while you are on the opposite side of the garden. This was an activity that you both loved to do. She would be dressed comfortably in a shin length skirt that was covered in loose soil. She turned the music on a little louder, swaying from side to side as you both worked together, sharing in kisses here and there. It was quite an eventful afternoon.
- she hates orange juice. Like genuinely hates it and will get upset if you give it to her.
- Likes a good cup of tea. With very little sugar. But if she were to have coffee she would want a lot of sugar but no cream.
- She wants a flower garden.
- She would end up being a plant girlie.
-NSFW-
-She is somewhat experienced. Having done it with a handful of people at most.
- She would get her nipples pierced. I think it would make her even more confident than she already is.
- She is very confident in bed, she is fully okay with taking charge or letting you take control.
- She would try almost anything once. Outside of things that would hurt her too bad.
- When you are in the comforts of your own home she is really into bondage. Being bound really excites her.
- She is serious while doing it, you can laugh during it. But she does want it to be a more serious moment shared between the two of you.
- She would prefer a faster pace, it would drive her wild.
-She is a B cup.
Karlach
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-SFW-
- She gets very protective of scratch, he lays near her when going to sleep for a very long time.
- She loves going swimming since it cools her down. But will refuse anyone to go with her since the water around her would get way too hot. And possibly boil anyone going in there with her. But that is in fact how she has gotten you dinner before. When everyone was literally starving and going off wine and grape soup for the 4th day in a row. Karlach brings back fish. And sets them on the table. She announced that we will be having something different for dinner than the normal everyone was so excited that they forgot to ask. Later on that night she told everyone. And was met with a still silence. Before someone cleared their throat and everyone went right back to conversation.
- She would drink a lot of water to try and cool herself down.
- Her favorite color is Blue.
- She likes doing yoga to stay limber.
- She smells like Vanilla and Amber.
-NSFW-
- She is the top, no questions asked.
- She would have nipple piercings if she could. But her heat would have them melting to her skin. So she just settles for real and natural.
- She is not very experienced. Since she was always fighting for others she never got to find much pleasures of the flesh. But don’t worry she is a quick learner.
- She would definitely be goofy in bed, joking here and there. But does know when to be more serious.
- She would enjoy slow and steady pace, she would also enjoy taking her time. But also loves a brutal pace from time to time.
- She is a D cup
Minthara
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-SFW-
- She would jump out and scare children if she could.
- I feel like she eats the crust first on pizza.
- Despises ranch.
- She ends up wearing glasses later in life.
- She would only eat while standing.
- She likes red wine, and will always ask if you would like to join her in a drink.
- She becomes softer and a bit nicer when you start to get close to her.
- She could fall asleep standing up. She is also a really light sleeper.
-NSFW-
- Scary in a hot way.
- She would be into knife play. Holding a knife to yours not the other way around.
- Top.
Her favorite part of her partner's body would be the neck. Thinking that it could be the quickest way to kill you in case you threaten her. But also that it is so sensitive and gives wonderful responses when kissed.
- Gives absolutely amazing head.
- She likes the predator prey dynamic, finding it quite thrilling to chase before taking what is hers.
- loves to see you in skirts (if you wear them) Or really tight fitting pants. And will tell you all about it in confidence later.
- She is quiet, she does not moan too much.
- She is very experienced, she has enjoyed many pleasures of the flesh. And is ready and willing to show you everything she has learned.
- She is very serious during the deed, there would be no laughing.
- Brutal pace or nothing. She wants to go hard and fast bringing herself and you to a high quickly before doing it again.
- She is a D cup.
Halsin
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-SFW-
- He walks around barefoot. You question how his feet are still intact from all the rough places that you have traveled together.
- He literally sleeps on the ground for more than half of the time he is in your camp. I think he just didn’t know how to bring up that he didn’t have a bed roll and just waited till he could buy one. He will never tell you that though.
- He cannot handle spicy food in the slightest.
Likes plum juice, and would drink it all the time if he could.
- He has joint pain, so he sits on the ground to relieve a bit of the pain and stress off them. He will often ask if you would like to join him for a walk. When you say yes you both walk together for a few minutes before he sits on a rock in the woods. You sit down next to him and continue your conversation. For a long while. You knew why you had stopped, This had become a favorite spot to stop for him while you are in this area. Before he got up and continued walking. He would give you a soft warm smile as you walked holding hands.
- He will carve you small gifts and sneak them into your pack as long as you have the room.
- he would partake in the grass. But would be away from anyone else so they are not bothered by him.
- He likes fruit and vegetables over meat.
-NSFW-
- He is quite fluid, anything you want to do or try he would be down to do it.
- He loves when you kiss his neck, the tenderness will make him melt.
- His ideal place to do it is in a field of flowers, or a forest area where there is a soft patch of moss.
- He likes to bite, gently of course. But he gives soft nips and bites any part of their body. Loves leaving hickeys.
- We all know this man is experienced, he is ready and willing to give you all of that experience.
- He can be goofy during, he likes when things are lighthearted but sensual.
- Animalistic pace, or soft and sensual no inbetween.
- High sex drive.
- He only masterbates when he has not gotten action in a long time. But would find a very secluded area to do so.
- It takes him a long time before he falls asleep after. But when he does he sleeps like a rock.
- he thinks you being smaller than him is very hot. Definitely has a size kink.
A little extra…
Rolan
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-SFW-
- He thinks it is funny when people try to cast magic and it fails.
- He ends up taking on an apprentice.
- When he has down time he would read all the books that were in the tower.
- When he would go back to his tower after the events of the game he would be sad seeing many of the books, but went in to look for survivors that may have been inside.
- He was a spoiled child, but he grew out of the spoiled attitude.
- He is only sweet in private.
- He would not be into PDA. But does kiss you when no one is looking.
- He wants to be able to teach people magic. But, would treat them all wonderfully. He would be a great teacher.
- He would smell like cedar and old books.
- When he blushes the blush spreads over his face and up to his ears.
-NSFW-
- His favorite part of his partner's body would be their hands.
- He thinks that it is so hot to cum on your face and chest. The thought alone would make him cream his pants.
- He is not experienced. He has not been able to experiment while on his travels.
- He is loud, his moans can be heard from a fair distance away.
- He loves to degrade.
- Power bottom on a good day. Bottom.
- He can get really shy when asking for alone time.
- He loves when you take charge and tell him what to do.
- He has moderate stamina. But will only want to go for one round.
- He will fall asleep soon after finishing the deed.
————————————————————————
I'm sorry for any of them being shorter than others. I have not been able to do all of their story lines yet. I am slowly working towards finishing them all. So if any of my head cannons are very off from the characters I am very sorry! Thank you!!
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epiphyllous · 4 months
Text
anywhere you go (let me go too)
Word Count: ~1k Pairing: Astarion x Tav Summary: You and Astarion, in the aftermath of the Absolute's defeat, discuss your plans for your futures together. Notes: gender neutral Tav, spawn astarion ending, fluff
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So, his moment of victory doesn't go unspoiled.
Astarion's skin burns in the sun without the tadpole's influence, and as he flexes his singed fingers in the shadows, he finds more of a settled resignation rather than tumultuous bitterness. It is to be expected, he thinks, to have traded a life in the light for his freedom. He only wished the tadpole would have given him just a little more time, if only to see the aftermath of the Absolute's defeat it in all its glory and the fate of the people he has (begrudgingly) started to call friends.
And to be with you a moment longer in the sun, where you belong. Like always, you appear before him before the shadows begins to overwhelm him.
"There you are."
Astarion looks up from the dark to see your face, relieved and happy all at once. There is a twinge of sadness still on your face and the absence of some of your companions, but Astarion knows you will tell him what has happened in due time.
The two of you have all the time in the world together now-- if that is still what you want at the end of this. He knows that's what he wants for certain.
"Darling," he begins, taking your hand, "I was beginning to get bored waiting for you to find me."
And so it goes that the city begins to rebuild itself-- with or without their help. You try your best to aid the people, helping out Jaheira and the refugees in Rivington. As a result, he does as well when night finally falls. In the bustle of a ruined city and the hope for a better future, it is difficult to find the time, but you and Astarion eventually find a quiet night together where he can finally ask you something he has been wanting to know:
"So, what happens next?"
"Well," you begin, humming in thought, "there's a lot of things we could do. I was thinking we could travel the world together." You look up at him with a smile. "Maybe find a way to let you walk in the sun again."
Astarion feels his breath hitch, voice choked on a hope he never realized you still held for him. "You- you really believe we'll find a cure?"
"I believe in one for Karlach as much as I believe in one for you," you say gently. "And I was thinking we could visit the underdark to make sure your siblings and the spawns were okay too."
"Yes, I was thinking they might need a little bit of guidance," he agrees. He feels giddy-- a delightful feeling full of hope. You recently called him radiant with it, and he wonders if you see the sun in him as he does for you. He gathers your hands into his and holds them tightly. "Though is that what you truly want? All... this?"
"Of course I want to be with you," you say warmly, and his heart-- not beating except when it is for you-- clenches at the love in your voice alone.
"Thank you," he says, and he means it. "But that's not quite what I was referring to."
You blink at him, lightly swinging your hands back and forth absently as you wonder at him. He will never get tired of this, he thinks, of you. When he thinks of being able to spend the next forever with you, he does not think there is anything he wants more. All these plans, of travel, visitation, and adventure-- he knows these are all things he would be delighted to do, with you by his side especially.
But Astarion would like to think he knows you as well as you know him. Adventure has been both your callings, but he knows there is something else that calls out to you-- has always called out to you from the moment he met you.
"Darling, I appreciate the fact that these plans of ours include me. And I know whatever we do, we'll have lots of fun." He continues, "But I wonder if that is what you want to do. With me. Are you sure there is nothing else you want?"
Astarion watches as your cheeks color, having been caught red-handed. And he thinks you are rather silly to be so cautious with your desires still, as if he has been nearly as shy with his wants. You are sweet as you are humble, and Astarion must find it in himself to teach you how be selfish.
"I... want to find a place to settle down," you tell him. "Somewhere nice and- not particularly quiet- but smaller than Baldur's Gate, with a house we can live in and make ours and-" You begin to stammer, seemingly embarrassed by how much you've thought about this, a daydream you were never sure will be fulfilled.
"I-I was thinking we could black out the curtains to cover the sun; block the window with a cabinet in the kitchen so you wouldn't be afraid of walking in the house during the day," you continue, and he listens to you rattle off hours of daydreams of a domestic life with him-- something he has never considered anyone would want with him. "We would befriend the neighbors and go out into the city during the night. And if they don't like you being a vampire," you say, "we can just move someplace else."
"Just like that?" He asks.
"Just like that," you tell him. "I don't want to live in a place where you don't feel welcomed."
"You know," he says, "I never pictured myself as a person who would settle in one place. Although if it's with you... maybe." When he tells you it doesn't matter what happens after as long as he is with you, he means it. Building a home is something unfamiliar-- boring even, to someone who has forgotten what it feels like to have one. He thinks home is with you, no matter where you settle, and if he can give you this-- out of everything in the world-- then he will give you a home to return to.
"Why, darling, these are all fantastic ideas. There's no reason we can't do them all..." Astarion adores the sparkle in your eyes when you dream big, and he finds it impossible to discourage it-- not if he can make it happen. "The only question is: where should we start first?"
"I love you," you suddenly tell him, and Astarion thinks he will never tire of hearing you say that.
He presses his hand against your cheek and watches as you lean into his touch. "And I love you." He clears his throat. "We are rather excellent together, you know. And united, there's nothing we can't do. I can't say what the future holds for us, but I know we'll be facing it together." He smiles. "And we're going to have a lot of fun."
-
("I'll do the planning, just so you know."
"Darling, you thought it would be any other way?")
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sorcerous-caress · 8 months
Note
Okay as great as crybaby!tav is we really glossed over the potential of mommy!Tav. I may be a smidge bias because that’s a lot like my tav, as she’s so damn determined to take care of her friends and was a baker before she was an adventurer so she’s constantly just doting on the companions offering them pastries. It’s a little self indulgent but My Tav has a little quirk that she grew up food insecure and just absolutely refuses to eat until she knows everyone else has eaten because she can’t bear the thought of any of her friends potentially going hungry. She’s normally very submissive and sweetly to all of them but no amount of begging, discipline or concern will break her because she just cares so damn much. Could you write the dom mom squad™️ reacting too something like that, who tries to comfort them? Who is incensed that she doesn’t believe they can provide? Who gets so hung up on the fact she’s being stubborn they forget the original issue?
A submissive mommy who can cook and give good hugs will literally fix 90% of the gang here, unironiclly.
Reacting to a very motherly Reader
[Bg3 women, fluff, dom mommies, afab!reader, fem pronouns, sub!reader ]
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Karlach would relish in your dotting.
During her life in the hells, she was both touch starved and food starved for so long. You being there to encourage her with the pep talks, headpats, and occasional pie is everything she has ever dreamed of and more.
As much as she wants to be the one to take care of you, she can't help but let relish in you fussing over her. The coddling, the comfort, and the constant attention are slowly frying her brain from how happy she is.
Did she die and go to heaven?
She becomes very protective of you, never lets you carry heavy stuff, and always asks if you need her to bring you ingredients or something during her errand runs. No, no, you don't have to tire your pretty little legs. Just stay in camp all sweet and pretty while she goes out and brings you everything you need.
If you didn't know any better, you'd think she's subconsciously treating you like her stay at home wife.
She really likes hovering around while you cook, watching you work attentively and sometimes begging for a sample taste with her puppy eyes.
And yes you being the one feeding her those samples is very important, it enhances the taste a lot.
It might take her a while to notice the fact that you were always the last one to eat. Or how you immediately offered your plate if someone else wanted seconds.
She thinks it's very sweet at first but slowly grows more and more concerned at your well-being.
I mean, if she had to, she would sit on your lap to prevent you from getting up as she hands you a plate of food. Your stern talk will just make her feel guilty and sad but she'd refuse to let you get up.
As much as she loves nothing more than to obey her mommy, sometimes she also needs to take care of her mommy like she takes care of her.
Minthara would admire your ways.
Tenderness and love were never words that anyone in her culture used to describe a mother, an ilhar. No, they tend to fall more on the brutal and disciplinary side.
An ilhar meant authority, control, and order. To defy her is to commit a sin. To show weakness in front of her is even worse.
She is reminded by that cultural difference whenever someone describes you as motherly.
The only thing you had in common with the matrons of the underdark was that underlying strength. That unbreakable will hidden so deep inside you, the urge to survive at any cost and defend your subordinates. She admired it greatly.
You were very strong deep down, strong to be truly worthy of the description of motherly. That kind of strength that the males will never understand, the kind of strength that nurtured even more strength.
So when a person like you showered her in hugs, kisses, and even brushed and styled her hair for her from time to time, how could she ever be ungrateful and say no?
You were generous and kind even when you had no need to be, you were selfless to a concerning degree.
She had to put a stop to that.
Minthara respects you too much to use any of the punishments or disciplinary ways that her matrons taught her. She will talk to you like an equal because that's what she sees you as.
She will be very patient with you. Stopping you when your self sacrifices become too much for your health to bear, Reminding you that you also require as much food and rest as the rest of them.
She'll teach you to relay on her slowly, as gentle as she possibly can be. Which...isn't very gentle, honestly, but she is genuinely trying her best.
Jaheira feels like you complete her.
As an actual mother to so many children, Jaheira still never truly grasped the whole motherly vibe people keep preaching about. Her kids are safe, fed, cleaned, and trained in combat. Isn't that enough?
So what it if she was absent on missions a lot, need I remind you that her line of work concers the safety of the whole world? What kind of mother would she be if she let the whole world, which included her kids, end just because she picked to stay at home and colour with her youngest.
She knows it doesn't excuse it. Give her a break. She is at the end of her age and hasn't had someone by her side since in a long while.
That's why when you suddenly appear in her life with all of the qualities she was severely lacking in, she almost thinks it's too good to be true.
...you almost remind her of a certain someone she lost long ago. You're just as soft and caring to others. Ironically enough people also underestimate a lot because of your kindness too.
She is drawn to you, like a moth to a flame.
Jaheira can't help it. You shine with radiance, and she hasn't felt warmth in so long.
The first few days she brings her kids home-cooked meals, they immediately hold a knife to her throat as they demand this doppelganger tell them where their real mother is.
But after some very awkward conversations, and having to bring you into her house as actual proof. They realised that their mother's stone heart can still beat after all apparently.
Shadowheart tries to play it cool, fails.
She has an edgy mysterious aura she needs to keep, and you're making it very hard for her. How is she supposed to be this dark, cool cleric of Shar when you keep gifting her these hand-knitted pastel sweaters with the most loving look in your eyes.
Of course she will wear them, she isn't heartless.
She's really trying not to show how touched she is when you look for her during dinner at camp to make sure she got her plate. She can't help the blush on her ears when you wipe some food from the corner of her mouth.
She's mean to people on your behalf when they're rude to you or try to take advantage of your submissiveness. Actually she is just mean to people in general if she doesn't like the way they look at you.
Loves taking naps on your lap, absolutely adores when you play with her hair or braid it. Your thighs are the perfect pillows for her to rest her head on and just forget about the outside world and her mission for a while.
She saves the best wine she finds to share it with you later, or the best sweets or fancy jucies if you don't drink. She had to defend her stash from both Gale and Wyll wandering hands, absolutely refusing all of their offers or begging for some of that fancy cheese or that perfectly aged wine bottle.
You're the only person she ever shares it with. She doesn't even want anything in return. She just loves seeing you happy and relaxed every once in a while. You always take care of them, so it's about time that someone takes care of you too.
Laezel has killed people for disrespecting you.
And she'll do it fucking again. These worms forgot their place. She doesn't even care how little their offence is, just efficiently ending their miserable life.
Why do you have a look of disappointment on your face? She did them a favour. She even made it painless and quick to compromise for your feelings.
Chk. Your softness will be the end of you. Be grateful that she is here to prevent that from ever happening.
You threaten not to take her with you on errand runs anymore if she doesn't put her sword away? You really think you can survive without her?
...okay yeah actually you can. You make a really valid point.
If it was anyone else she'd have taken that request as an insult on her honor, but since it's you...
Fine. She will listen for now.
And maybe if you keep making more of those faerun dishes, she will find it easier to listen to you. Especially the apple pie ones.
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thatfreshi · 9 months
Text
Greater Than This (Astarion x Reader)
Part 2 to It's Over
Tw - mentions of abuse
Recommended Song: If I'm Being Honest - Dodie
You walk around Baldur's Gate aimlessly, wondering if he'll follow you, wondering if he really meant everything he said. You didn't really mean it, when you said it was over, just something to hurt him the way he hurt you. That's the problem with you and Astarion: you can be so childish at times, always looking for an eye for an eye. Perhaps it's all you know. Maybe it was for the best, to not try and love one another, maybe you just didn't know how.
But then again, how could you sit there and let him become everything he hates? And why would he want that? Had he genuinely convinced himself it would be any different? That he wouldn't fall victim to demonic greed? Or was he truly just petrified, after centuries of being the beaten underdog? It makes your eyes water just thinking about it, the few things he had told you, the times your tadpoles connected and you were witness to atrocities you didn't know existed. It wasn't fair, but nothing is.
He's thinking about it too, the horrors of the kennels, the crypt and the taste of mold. Astarion didn't mean it when he said you were just like Cazador. In fact, he's nauseous at the thought of him even saying such a thing. But he snapped at you, and it was enough for you to say it was over. Were you being genuine? He wasn't sure, but he could very easily believe you'd want to leave him. Sure, he's so enraged, but he loves you truly. Two very hard feelings to balance. Unsure of what to do with all his scattered feelings, he finally makes his way downstairs to join the group.
"Well well, if it isn't the vampire of the hour. How ya doin' Astarion?"
Karlach gives him a slightly unwelcome pat on the back. He tries to think of some snarky thing to say, something sassy that will get a little laugh, but he can only muster up a meek sentence.
"Do you know where Tav is?"
It grips at his heart, how pathetic he felt. Gods, how could he be so angry but so sad? He knows you're often right, that you usually make better choices than him, but did you really make the right choice this time? Was he really so incredibly wrong? But still, you killed Cazador, which he had every right to do.
"They uh... they left a while ago. Seemed very upset."
Wyll takes a sip of his water afterwards, as if to avoid saying anything else.
"Guess it's a good thing I don't burn in the sun just yet."
Astarion leaves the inn, leaving your companions to speculate about the lover's quarrel. He walks around town looking for you, listening intently to all the footsteps nearby. Perhaps it was years of training himself, but he was quite good at determining whose steps were whose. You catch sight of him as you're sitting under a large oak tree, and part of you is furious. But the other part of you screams for him, begging him to notice you. He does soon enough, and he makes his way to the grassy patch beneath the leaves.
"Mind if I sit?"
You don't know what to say. Clearly he doesn't either, as he's questioning if he was even allowed to ask. Despite the confusion in the air, you pat the ground next to you.
"I don't think you're like him."
He wraps his arms under his knees.
"I know. But you still said it."
"I know. I guess I still say plenty of stupid things."
You look up at the sky, thinking about how sunny it is today.
"Did you really want to do the ritual Astarion?"
He lets out a small breath, like a tiny laugh.
"I don't know. I just wanted to feel like I meant something. I wanted to be something greater than this."
"You're already so extraordinary. I wish you could see that."
The vampire doesn't know what to say. How could he ever describe just how horrible he feels? He feels like nothing.
"Me too."
"You don't have to be some grand creature. You can just be Astarion."
"But who would ever respect that? A sad little boy, some meek vampire spawn with no master."
"I respect you."
"I didn't feel respected when you killed Cazador. You undermined me. You've never made me feel like that before, like I was less than you."
You start to cry again, putting a hand on his knee.
"I never wanted to make you feel less than, but I was so fucking scared. You were about to make a really bad decision."
"It just made me feel like you don't trust me."
"Of course I trust you, but it's easy for your view to become blinded when you're processing so much. Going back there, I know it was hard on you, and you wanted to take the easy way out, the path of least resistance."
His eyes meet yours.
"Would you be proud right now, if we were in that palace, if you had become the ascendant? Is that how you'd want to spend your days? Towering over people?"
"No. But at least no one could make me feel small again."
Astarion leans into your side, starting to let go, letting the emotions come and go.
"I know my love, I know you've been made to feel inferior your whole life, but it's over now. I won't ever let someone make you feel like that again."
"You- can't promise that."
"No, but I'll try my damnest."
You lay your head on his, and the two of you cry for a while, as strangers walk by, wondering what two adventurers are doing crying under a tree. Oh how little they know.
"You were right. To stop the ritual I mean. I think I was just angry with myself, how meek I felt."
"I still should've done it with your permission."
"You know how stubborn I am darling. I probably wouldn't have listened."
"I didn't give you a fair fight."
"Are we going to keep trading blame? Or can we just get to the part where we make up?"
You smile, wiping away a tear, and the two of you go in for a soft kiss.
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too. See? Easy, we're even now."
"How do you do that? Just, realize you were wrong and move on?"
"It's easy. Or, it's easy with you at least. You don't ever get truly upset unless something matters, and you're usually more grounded than me. I get out of hand quite easily you know."
"Oh trust me, I know."
Light laughs in the sun, a static day with no breeze, just the heat beating down on the townspeople. It's not perfect. The two of you both overstepped, but you love each other enough to work through it, to try and see the other point of view, even if it's after nasty arguments. The two of you are messy, but damn do you love messy. Especially if messy is a white-haired vampire, who you get to spend the rest of your life with once the Elder Brain is gone. You see it now, a big house, and more stupid shouting matches that you'll fix shortly after. The price you pay to be two people trying to learn how to love, learning how to live, freely.
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sfehvn · 7 months
Text
sacrifices
Request: "if requests are still open (if not pls ignore) i’ve been obsessed with the idea of astarion being confronted with what tav becomes if he ascends. i picture the gang with raphael, astarion is determined to undergo the ritual, and raphael snaps his fingers to morph their strong leader into a frail, broken version of themselves. afraid of him. can he live with what his decision does to the person he loves, does that knowledge change his mind? could be something completely different tho, i’d love to hear your take on it!" A/N: I took some creative liberties because I'm still mid-Act 3, but I hope it's up to par nonetheless. I also think I totally misinterpreted the prompt now that I'm re-reading it after finishing this. I'm kinda not very brainy. (sparkle sparkle) I hope you enjoy anyways! lol Word count: 2,426 Characters: Astarion x Tav
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━─━────༺༻────━─━
  It was as if every fibre of your being had been desecrated from its vessel within an instance. You suddenly felt the scrutiny of every eye in the room upon you; you felt naked. The strength that had bumbled in every nerve of your body had been silenced. The gravity of the situation you were in towered on slouched shoulders and you gasped at the overwhelming perception. Every position you’d been in since aboard the nautiloid ship assaulted your mind. You hadn’t died, yet the trauma that you could have knocked the air from your lungs. A veil had been lifted from your desensitized mind. You weren’t even through the thick of it, the squirming parasite behind your eye being a palpable reminder. You stared wide-eyed at the group before you, taking note of the uneasy way Shadowheart looked from you to Astarion. You tried to choke out something, anything, but instead, a terrified whimper left your lips.
  The imbalance of authority was instantly discernable. Formerly the most capable of them all reduced to a powerless husk. Astarion stares at you warily, stepping closer only for you to cower backward, all but tripping over your own feet. “Please.” You pleaded against your better judgment. You were attentive to the knowledge he would never hurt you, but there was something profound in your brain telling you to run. He was a predator and you his prey. Perhaps the security of knowing you could always defend yourself if it came down to that was always there. Without the power, without those means, you indeed were afraid.
  Realization washes over Astarion’s face as he looks at you. The tension in the room was so impenetrable that Shadowheart spoke up hesitantly. “Give her some space.” No matter how sympathetic her words are, when she touches Astarion’s arm to give him a gentle tug back, he rips his extremity from her grasp. “Astarion.” She says firmly, looking at you with sad eyes. It was unspoken; if this was what you were to be, you’d never make it.
  “Fix her, devil.” He sneers, disregarding Shadowheart to the best of his ability. Raphael chortles, a playful glint in his eye. This was all a game to him.
  “So sad, wouldn’t you agree?” Raphael muses apathetically, moving to fiddle with the ends of your hair. Your body tenses and you want to run, but you’re frozen in place by fear. “At the end of the day, we are ultimately what our bodies perceive us to be. As for Tav, it would seem she’s not the leader you lot took her for after all. A travesty really.” His eyes lock on Astarion, a giddy smile on his face at the vampire’s anger. It oozed off of him, feeding Raphael sadistic joy.
  “You will not touch her Raphael-” Before he knew what had happened, he was laid out across the floor by a flick of the devil’s hand. Despite the aching in his bones, he pushes himself back up onto his feet, ready to pounce once again. Raphael already has his hand raised, ready to knock Astarion back once again.
  This time it’s Karlach’s hand that grabs him, holding him firmly in place. “Astarion, this won’t solve anything.”
  “By the hells it won’t! So that’s it? You want to abandon her here? After all she’s done for all of us? You ungrateful bastards! She’s stuck her neck out for each one of us and you turn on her just like that? Pathetic.” Astarions spits, his body shaking from the rage bubbling within himself.
  “Of course not! We love her just as much as you, but charging nonsensically at a devil whom we cannot touch over and over again won’t fix it.” Karlach exclaims and, perhaps because it was the most emotionally driven of the group to speak up, Astarion’s body loosens in defeat. Karlach withdraws her hand cautiously.
  “As much entertainment as I’m getting from watching this debacle, I believe we’re done here for now. I trust you’ll discuss this with your little wizard friend and let him know the crown is mine and I expect to receive it as soon as it is in your possession. Upon payment, I’ll restore our precious Tav’s previous state of being. I’m glad we’re all on the same page.” Raphael sends the group off with a snap of his fingers. The spinning surroundings bring you to your knees and you squeeze your eyes shut in a failed attempt to block out the sensation. Once you open your eyes, the group is back in the rented room of Elfsong. 
  A combination of the intense whirring, of everyone’s eyes on you, of your power being ripped from your body; you wretch. Your body heaves as the nausea finally subsides, Astarion is by your side, rubbing circles over your back and holding your hair loosely in his hand. Karlach has already fetched a fresh bucket of water and a stack of rags to clean the mess. Halsin, Jaheira, Wyll, Lae’Zel, and Gale look on in confusion, and you note Shadowheart gathering them together. Her voice was whispered and you couldn’t make out what was being said, but you didn’t have to be a scholar to know she was filling them in on the events that had transpired. Even Mizora was amongst them as if she was one of the same.
  The sight makes you want to wretch again but you hold back, gently pushing Astarion’s hands away from you. Your heart aches at the hurt look on his face but you just couldn’t. The power imbalance was too significant for you to handle in the moment; around any of your comrades, to be fair. However, there was something about Astarion that terrified you now. You knew it was senseless, but it couldn't be helped. “I need to be alone right now.” You manage from your raw throat. You did need to be alone; as alone as you possibly could be in the large room with nine other occupants.
  Karlach was one of the only people you allowed to stay with you as you lay in a daze on your bed. She was toweling a damp cloth over your forehead, chattering as usual. You recognized she was trying to act normal as if you hadn’t just had everything you’d ever known mangled from your very essence. You appreciated it. It was a far cry from the remainder of the party, now not bothering to hide what they were discussing as they tried to formulate next steps in the center of the room. You’d wished they wouldn’t, as selfish as it was. Though it seemed you were of some semblance of sound mind because you refrained from asking them to shut it down. They had to go on; with or without you. Astarion watched on in disgust from a corner of the room.
  Seeing you like this was destroying him, eating at his soul. He felt a fierce desire to protect you in this state, to keep you safe, yet you wouldn’t even let him near you. You were the only person who hadn’t treated him like something disposable in almost two centuries of existence. He feared that was gone. Would things get better? He yearned to hold you, to tell you everything would be okay. He hadn’t seen fear in someone’s eyes even comparable to yours since he was still a mindless slave to Cazador. Knowing that you felt that way about him struck him viscerally. He felt greedy for thinking it, but even if you didn’t become the fearless Tav you once were, he’d hoped you would eventually gain that trust with him again. Whatever the outcome, he would do what needed to be done to protect you.
  “I’m sorry but suggesting we just hand over Karsus Crown to a literal devil is insane! Have you lost your senses?” Gale shouted with conviction, throwing his hands up wildly.
  “Gale. What choice do we have? Tav has been a friend and she’d do the same for any one of us. We know what must be done.” Halsin reasons calmly in an attempt to ease the distressed wizard.
  “Well, I would bloody hope not!” Gale snaps in astonishment. “This is ludicrous!”
  Mizora pipes up and there is an air of amusement in her statement, “The bumbling one is correct. Raphael promises peace to the Nine Hells, but it is only a matter of time before he takes on other conquests. If you’d prefer the hells turn over; by all means.”
  “Come on! The lot of you have forced me into agreeance with a fiend.” Gale mutters.
  “A battle he will surely lose. Circumstantially, there’s no way the crown is powerful enough to intercept our plane.” Shadowheart reasons. 
  “Shadowheart, I have a great amount of respect for you, my friend. But you’ve no idea what you're talking about.” Gale holds a hand up dramatically in her direction.
  “She has a point.” Wyll finally offers his own input. “If our plane of existence could be overturned with the simple possession of this crown, it would have been done already, wouldn’t it? And if Raphael only wants to restore order in the hells, why not?”
  “All it would take is the correct entity. Just because something has not been done, does not mean it will never be done.” Gale sighs and there is a brief bought of silence before he continues. “Listen, Tav means just as much to me. It would pain me not to have her fight alongside us again, but-”
“Careful Gale of Waterdeep.” Astarion jeers as he approaches the group. “It would be a pity if someone had to put you in your place, but I can’t say I wouldn’t enjoy it. At this point, I’d think it a service to the rest of us.” 
  “Gale is right.” You declare. The group had been so engaged in conversation that they had failed to notice your approach. “I admire the lengths you guys would go to restore my power and I cherish each and every last one of you.” You shoot a small smile of reassurance at Gale, indicating that you indeed meant him too. “That being said, I recognize the need for boundaries. If this is the end of my road, well, I take pride in knowing I had the opportunity to assist our victors to the finish line.” You attempt a laugh, but it just sounds sad. You clear your throat. “Raphael cannot come into possession of this crown. I hope you all can respect my wishes.”
  Astarion wants to shake you, to tell you how foolish you were being. Had you really lost all of your senses when Raphael had stripped you of your power? “You will die, Tav. Do you not understand that? Without the means to protect yourself, you will die!” His shouting caused you to flinch and he instantly regretted it. The group sat in a paralyzed silence as they watched you two, not daring to interrupt Astarion in this state. “I will not lose the first thing I’ve loved in over two hundred years.” Tears threatened his ruby-red eyes, and he fought them back, suddenly very aware of how vulnerable he’d made himself amongst the party.
  “I know, Star.” You finally choke out after a lull of silence. You look away from him quickly and Karlach ushers you back to your bed. Astarion looks around the group with narrowed eyes as they disband to make their way to their collective beds. Why wasn’t anyone arguing this? How could they be so comfortable sentencing you to your death?
  Astarion stared up at the ceiling of the inn that night, unable to slip into his meditative state. Instead, he tried to grasp at the idea of you simply not existing—the months you had spent together that had felt like the entirety of his life left to mean nothing. It was tragic, just like the rest of his life. Of course someone like him couldn’t have a simple, happy ending. Why wouldn’t the very thing that kept him going be destined for death?
  His eyes open at the sound of approaching footsteps and your distinctive scent welcomingly floods his senses. He looks over to see you approaching his bed timidly as if you were uncertain about the action. “I don't,” you paused, fumbling with the hem of your shirt. “I don’t think I can sleep without you, Star.” You two hadn’t spent a night in separate beds since he had confessed his true feelings for you. The admission made his heart swell with hope and he shifts wordlessly, making room for you on the small bed beside him. He holds open the blanket for you, and you climb in. 
  He hears your heart slowing to a calm pace. The emotions were too overwhelming for you to comprehend. You had a newfound fear of the vampire, but your body craved his. Not just sexually, but it longed to be near him. It was as if it needed him to function properly. Astarion felt it too. It was like a missing piece of himself had returned to him, even if this moment was fleeting; he would hold you for as long as you let him, and he would wait for you to return when you were ready.
  There was one thing he was sure of. If you met your demise, so would Astarion. The time of only seeking power and authority was over for him. If he could, he would lay in this bed with you until you both withered to nothing. He did not want to outlive you in any sense of the word. He made a silent vow always to protect and keep you alive along with him. It was implicitly clear what he would be doing. The ascension had to be done, if only so you could live to see this through. The power and glory not even a last thought in his decision. He’d do this for you—the many conversations the two of you shared about the ritual flitted through his mind. You’d always been so careful of his wants while expressing apprehension about him going through with it. You’d convinced him, too. He was set that it was not what he wanted. He had been blinded by the splendor of it all. Things were different now. You would no longer be able to keep yourself alive; but he could.
“I love you, Tav.” He whispers.
“I love you, too, Star. More than air.” You murmured into his chest.
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meanbossart · 3 months
Text
Lore Ask Compilation: "Every Other Question Is About The Drow's Dick" edition
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Oh I LOVE Minthara, her dialogue is absolutely fascinating and in my opinion some of the best written In the game. Experiencing her in my Evil Durge playthrough without having been spoiled to her companion scenes prior was great - the amount of depth they managed to add to her, without it at all feeling forced or rushed, and considering how much less time she gets to develop at our side is really well done. While nearly everyone's quests had me immersed, she was one of the few characters who really made me pause and think about the things she had to say to me, what she truly meant by them, and what they meant for me as an avatar doing an evil run.
We have a lot of characters in this game that are meant to be full of wisdom and experience, who are meant to be the ones who say the right thing at the right time that inspires us to make the correct choices, but I don't think either Halsin or Jaheira (and I love Jaheira) made me feel like I knew so little about life quite as Minthara did.
And, of course, she's absolutely hysterical. 10/10 I wish she had a proper companion quest past being rescued but I understand why she doesn't.
[MORE ASKS UNDER THE CUT]
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It doesn't connect to the urethra since the slit in on top, so he nuts and pisses normal.
Also you 100% are not sorry, stop lying to me.
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Man, I thought a lot about this one because I play so fast and loose with the content the game gives us that I'm positive there must be SOMETHING I'm completely disregarding, but I couldn't think of anything! I've chosen to pick slightly less obvious interpretations to some lines and text but nothing that completely deviates from canon, I don't think. If anyone has noticed something I neglected to mention, feel free to let me know - not because I want to revise it, but just because I'm curious!
For the second part of the question, not really. Larian did a great job of giving us plenty of room to play around in the dark urge's background, I think I'm yet to see something that I find to truly "not fit" in the ample freedom they've given us. I have my preferences, of course - I'm shocked to find that most dark urge's are NOT big hulking beasts, for example - in fact that seems to be the minority by far, but I realize that I have my... Uh... Biases.
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You can see a cute little divot through the fabric if you look closely LOL
And nah, I think his penis has seen enough sharp points for a lifetime.
Well.
Unless someone decided to add some bite-marks to it.
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HMMM, I... Don't think so.
He didn't cry as a baby, he didn't cry as a child (and this isn't something I just decided on now - this is a major reason why his foster drow mother even kept him around) he didn't really cry growing up or at any point during the campaign. I think he is capable of it - sadness in him just tends to be far more confusing a feeling than anything else.
He will have emotional moments in ANE, whether or not that will culminate in crying is something you will have to wait to find out LOL
Astarion has noticed this and just took it as a character trait - the drow doesn't cry, he just gets confused, angry, frustrated or simply bottles it up. While he can be demanding of his emotional maturity, he isn't going to try and dictate how he should experience his own feelings. If it did happen it would definitely catch him majorly off-guard, perhaps even shift the perception he has of him to a certain extent.
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Oh my god you just know they All managed to be utterly quiet about it for as long as humanly (and unhumanly) possible until like, I don't even know, halfway through the Shadow-cursed lands where one day Karlach finally turns back to the group around the campfire after a half-nude drow has strut past and she's like "SO
"DOES ANYONE KNOWS WHY HIS DICK HAS A SNATCH"
And Wyll is like :0... Karlach you can't just ask people that.
And then she pointedly turns to Astarion and starts trying to interrogate him on how it works while Gale covers his ears and Shadowheart is like:
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This is gonna blow you guys backwards but he does not do those things in front of people and thinks its rude if you do.
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HMMM Mostly physically but it's a little subtle. He really enjoys interacting with Astarion's (and previously Orin's) hands - kissing, holding, caressing. Touching hair and faces as well. He can engage in more overt physical affection but usually Astarion has to be the one to initiate.
A disarmingly earnest proclamation of love and adoration here and there as well - he isn't shy in the slightest to tell people how he feels about them, he just isn't constantly reminding them of it unless inspiration strikes.
Most of all I think he expects his loved-ones to see his care for them in his tendency to go out of his way to help them achieve their goals.
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He went with them to the Shadow-cursed lands but I never helped him fix the curse, so he stayed behind when the gang went onwards to the city. DU Drow didn't really like him so it was good-riddance as far as he was concerned.
If he had come along and propositioned him during act 3 - uh, you know the really mean rejection line you have as a choice during that dialogue? Yeah, that one lmao.
Alas, DU drow is just monogamous. He could entertain group-sex with a partner for fun at the most, but not ever a third person in the relationship. And In my personal interpretation (but by all means - everyone else have fun with their poly arrangements!) of Astarion and his delivery of the "this is about Halsin" line, I also thought he was lying about being comfortable with it, so I write him as monogamous as well.
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Nothing. Nada. Not a thing. Say what you'd like about Bhaal but he sure knows how sculpt them out of his murder-meat.
(Thank you!!!)
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grims-sunshine · 8 months
Note
hello! How are you? I see your requests are open? If it's alright, can i request some angst, but with a happy ending because I'm too damn soft🥲 Fem Tav being absolutely devastated when Astarion confessed but also that he was originally manipulating and using her? I never see anyone writing Tav being upset over that, like she's in love with him, but is rightfully angry and upset with him and just sobs while avoiding him for a while? 🥲
Hi hi anon! I'm good, thanks for asking <3 I hope you're alright too!
I love this idea so much aaaaah! I had to start writing pretty much immediately ahaha
Thanks so much for the request, I hope you enjoy it <3
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🤍 Feel Better 🤍
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Pairing: Astarion x Tav
Word count: 1.7k
Tags: angst with a happy ending, some mild anxiety, arguing, Tav says a few not so nice things maybe
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"I care about you."
It's true when you say these words to Astarion. At least you think it's true. At least it was true just five minutes ago.
You're pretty sure it's still true.
You pull Astarion into a hug, and aren't sure if you do it because you want to hug him, or because it feels like the right thing to do.
He hesitates for a moment, but puts his arms around you as well. You're overcome with a wave of happiness that he hugged you back, then sadness that he just admitted to having manipulated you, then anger that you were dumb enough to fall for it.
When he holds your hand, you see a glint of sincerity in his eyes. But you're not sure you can trust your own judgment anymore. Part of you wonders if he actually means it this time.
You know it wouldn't make sense for him to lie again, right after confessing his last lie and admitting that he felt bad for it.
But it didn't make sense for him to lie the first time either.
You've been defending Gale when the others were mad about his secret, and he wasn't sleeping with you. You tried to stand up for Wyll when Mizora showed up, and he hadn't shown even a hint of interest in you. You sided with Karlach and helped her deal with the paladins when you didn't even know her yet.
In short, you've been doing your damnedest to protect the people around you, not because you wanted anything in return, but because you're all in an unfortunate situation, just trying to stay alive, and you believe it'll be better for all of you to help each other. You would've done the same for Astarion, without him ever doing so much as touch you.
Your thoughts cause unease to rise within you, getting worse with every second. Once he lets go of you, you excuse yourself, rushing off to a quiet place, out of view from the others.
You sink to the ground, leaning your head back against the wall as your vision goes blurry. Before you even notice it, tears stream down your face and you suppress a sob.
You feel betrayed. Astarion played with your feelings just to gain a benefit from you, with seemingly no care how it would make you feel. You should've gotten angry at him, told him off for manipulating you, screamed at him for hurting your feelings.
Instead, you gave him a hug and said you care about him.
Underneath the anger and hurt, your feelings for him are still there, maybe stronger than ever. If you could just move past this, maybe the two of you can be happy together after all.
It makes you feel like a child, thinking that you're in some kind of fairy tale romance. But you're not the protagonist of a storybook, and you're starting to have serious doubts that Astarion is the prince who will sweep you off your feet and bring you eternal happiness.
And yet, that small part of you makes you decide to stay with him for now and hope everything will work out for the better. You're not sure if you're naive, stupid, or if Astarion really is worth trying, but you trust your gut feeling, even when your brain is telling you to break things off immediately.
Still, you can't help feeling hurt over everything that happened, so over the next couple of days you pull away from Astarion. It's not your intention, but whenever you're close to him, you start to feel dizzy, sick even. You feel your chest tighten and a knot form in your stomach that gets worse the longer you're around him.
You used to not get enough of being close to you, now it feels like your whole body recoils against his presence.
Astarion doesn't seem to notice that anything has changed -- Or if he does, he doesn't show it. If anything, he's become even more affectionate with you.
He's been seeking out your touch more often, giving you occasional hugs and stealing kisses from you. They make your heart beat faster, but you can't tell anymore if it's because you love him or because it sends your brain into overdrive each time, wondering if he's doing it because he wants to be close to you or because he wants to keep you hooked so you won't turn away from him now.
You hate that you have to question him. You hate that you feel like you can no longer trust him when you blindly would've put your life in his hands just a few days ago.
To make things worse, life has decided to hurl even more struggles at you while you're dealing with your feelings.
The Shadow-Cursed Lands have been getting especially cold at night. You try to stay as close to the fireplace as possible, but it feels like the darkness sucks away any warmth provided by the fire, so you're left shivering and wishing you could lie in a warm bed with several blankets instead.
"Wanna cuddle a little for warmth?" Astarion's voice catches you off guard and you almost flinch when you notice him standing beside you, watching you shiver and grasping your arms.
"Not that I have much body heat to give off, but, you know… I could be there for you in spirit." He continues, giving you a smile that looks almost a little shy.
You're hesitant at first, but something about the way he looks at you plugs at your heartstrings. You can't resist him, not when he looks like he's sending silent prayers to the gods that you'll agree.
"Yeah, sure. At the very least you'll block off a bit of the cold, right?" You say, earning a chuckle from him.
"I'll do my very best to shield you from the cold, darling."
He settles down facing you, wrapping one arm around you to pull you closer to his chest.
You try your best to relax, but your body still tenses around him, even when you try to just swallow down your feelings.
You lie in silence for a while, until Astarion sighs.
"Is everything alright, dear? You've been acting a little off lately. I wasn't sure if I should mention it at all, but to be honest, I am a little worried." His tone is serious, void of the usual playfulness in his voice.
Damn it. He noticed.
"It's nothing, really," you say, hoping that he'll drop it. Instead, he just looks at you, sceptical.
"Are you sure? You can talk to me, you know." He frowns brushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "It's just," he hesitates, like he's unsure of what to say, "I feel like you've started avoiding me ever since I opened up about my feelings. So, I've been thinking, maybe I misread the signs and you actually never wanted to move past… Whatever the hells it was we had before," he rambles. Then, a little quieter, he adds, "You know, I've never done this whole relationship thing, and I really don't want to make a fool of myself by pursuing someone who doesn't like me that way." He lets out a nervous chuckle.
Oh hells no.
"Make a fool out of you?" The words break out of you, louder and angrier than intended. "What about me, who made a fool out of herself the whole time thinking you actually liked me?" You should stay composed, calm yourself before you say something you regret, but at that moment, all the complicated feelings you've been having swirl together and explode within you. "You didn't stop once to think about that, did you? But when it's about you having to deal with something unpleasant, suddenly it's a problem. Don't you think that's a little selfish of you?"
By the way Astarion looks at you, you'd think he'd just been slapped. Then he averts his eyes and you feel his hands tightening, gripping the back of your shirt.
"Right," he sighs. "I deserve to be called selfish, I suppose."
Astarion takes a deep breath, his jaw clenching as he thinks about what to say next, before he relaxes it again. "I know what I did to you was wrong. I manipulated you and you didn't deserve that. At all." His voice quivers a little as he continues to speak. "And I know it's no excuse, but this is what I've done for two centuries. Manipulate people to avoid getting hurt. I have no damn idea how to navigate a relationship with someone who isn't trying to make me suffer at every turn, or someone who I know will meet a terrible end because of me."
He looks at you again with a pained expression. "I really do care about you, despite what I've done, you know? I didn't intend to care about you, but you crushed all my intentions just by being your wonderful, amazing self. And if you're willing to give me another chance, I promise to make this right. I promise I won't ever try to deceive you again. I want to be someone worthy of your love and I'll do what I can to be that kind of person."
This time you're absolutely certain that he's sincere. There's not a sliver of doubt in your mind about that.
You don't even realize that you haven't said anything in a while until you notice Astarion grow increasingly nervous, looking at you like he expects you to cuss him out and tell him to leave any second.
You grab his hand and press a kiss to his palm. "I am willing to give you a chance," you say, seeing the instant wave of relief rush over his face. "I know you're new to all of this, and I know you've been through a lot. I should've talked about this sooner instead of just avoiding you. And I shouldn't have yelled earlier either. So I'm sorry as well."
Astarion presses his forehead against yours, pulling you into a close hug. "So things are good between us now, right?"
You nod, leaning in to kiss his cheek before nuzzling into his chest. "Yeah, everything's alright."
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Title inspired by this
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pathetic-sapphic · 4 months
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I'm a humble sapphic Karlach lover asking for imagines about being married to her (maybe including if she'd actually like to settle down, have kids, etc) pls and thank you :'D
Settling down with Karlach
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I definitely think that, after the whole mess, Karlach would love to travel with her beloved for a while. She wants to enjoy her newfound freedom and share everything that the world has to offer with them.
Eventually though, she starts getting homesick. Which is weird since you two don't really have a home of your own to go to. You have spent countless evenings under the stars, soaking up each other's warmth by cuddling and exchanging loving kisses inside your shared tent.
You have started growing weary too. Adventure is wonderful and the world has so much to see and so many experiences to offer. But one can hardly go for so long without some quality rest.
So, you settle down eventually. A quaint cottage with a vast garden that the two of you can call your own. The nature surrounding it gives you some well-earned peace and a nearby town has any supplies you might need.
It's easy to become familiar with a routine. Karlach has discovered a passion for gardening. It keeps her calm and thus allows her to work with plants without fear of destroying them.
Your wonderful cooking keeps her sated and, with this new way of life, Karlach has had to let out almost every pair of pants she owns. She can relax now and enjoy the quaint day-to-day life with you. She indulges in your home-cooked meals and tasty pastries, making her gain some weight.
And oh, does it look good on her. You have a hard time keeping your hands to yourself whenever she's around, her soft stomach and strong arms right there for you to hold. Seeing her so happy and pampered makes you proud, knowing that she's so comfortable around you and that you get to share this peaceful life together makes you tear up.
When you bring up the idea of having children, Karlach's heart almost stops beating. Before it quickly picks up again from the excitement at the thought of becoming a parent.
If you're the one who carries the child, she is so doting and caring. Never lets you do anything, you cannot even lift a finger as long as she's around.
Is in love with your pregnant belly, a protective hand is always resting on the swell of it. She massages your back and feet, helps you dress or bathe as the pregnancy progresses. Holds you when you cry due to the fear and anxiety of becoming a parent and loves you endlessly through all of it.
Almost passes out during childbirth, seeing you in pain is the hardest thing she ever had to go through. Lets you squeeze her hand as hard as you need to, all the while pressing soothing kisses against your sweaty forehead. Cries along with you when the baby is born, sobbing as she holds them in her arms for the first time, all the while telling you how amazing you were.
If you decide to adopt, she's also immensely happy. Karlach admires your kindness and willingness to give a child a better home.
An extremely nervous mother, especially in the first couple of years of your child's life. Jumps out of bed at the smallest sound of their distress, anxiously shushing your baby as they cry. She hates waking you up, knowing how hard you work all day to take care of the house and your child. But sometimes, she honestly can't figure out how to calm them down and hesitantly wakes you up to ask for help. This is mostly because she hates the sound of your child crying, knowing that they're uncomfortable and sad makes her heart squeeze painfully and renders her brain useless.
As your child grows, she relaxes more and lets her playful side show. She makes toys for them and wants to give them the best childhood they could ask for.
Wouldn't mind having more children if you were up for it. Karlach loves the idea of your home being lively and warm.
She never thought that one day she'd be able to settle down and have a family with someone she considers her soulmate. But life has a curious way of surprising us with the things we least expect.
Every night when she goes to bed, after tucking your child in and kissing you goodnight, Karlach thinks that all the pain and suffering was worth it, if this is what she did it for.
a/n: im alive! also, i still haven't played bg3 so please lmk if i made any micharacterizations or mistakes. i'm mostly going by how i've seen karlach act in clips and walkthroughs :)
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graveyardcuddles · 19 days
Text
Some rambling personal thoughts on Astarion's endings since I can't sleep.
I find myself really loving Astarion's spawn endings and ALL of their variations even more the more I think about them (the exception ofc being the cursed af endings where you don't help him AT ALL and he either gets turned into a zombie or is still being hunted by cazador even after the game, but I'm obviously not talking about those).
I think I, like many others who grew very attached to his character, were left feeling very torn over his initial spawn ending before the added epilogue. Because Astarion being free from cazador and learning to truly relish in that freedom AND use it towards more positive ends is the entire point of his spawn endings. But we don't really get the chance to see that fully paid off in the narrative. One could argue that we do see the very beginnings of it with the graveyard scene and the morning after scene and how he makes several comments about never being a slave again after he kills cazador. But then we get a rather painful reminder of the fact that he's still been forced to give up something he's come to love and cherish so much over the course of your journey. And then we just kinda end on that note.
I definitely didn't regret keeping Astarion a spawn, even after that. But I will admit there was a part of me that still really wanted to see more for him. And that's why I really do adore the epilogue. I know people have their issues with it and say it's unrealistic for Astarion to be so "healed" after only 6 months but I disagree with this take because we're literally only seeing a glimpse of him on one really good, happy night, it's not necessarily a reflection of how he usually is. He could very well still be having days where he struggles, and he almost certainly does. But comparing his previous 200 years to his possible (good) spawn endings, it's not really surprising that he's thriving. Same with the "counterweight" comment. He's not saying the 6 months you've been together completely negates and erases the 200 years of torture. He's saying his freedom and your love have been such a HUGE contrast to what he's had to live through for so long that they feel like a counterweight to the horrors.
I think about how far he has to come for him to actually get to those endings. His bounty hunter/adventurer ending? Amazing! He's relishing in violence and living his best rouge life. Leading the spawn in the Underdark? Speaks so much to his character development that he actually cares enough about them to even attempt such a massive undertaking. Lots of potential for healing of course but also: Holy shit the potential for unhinged shenanigans as well. Going to the hells with Karlach? Incredible! He's not just getting to enjoy tearing up cambions all day he's devoted to Karlach and helping her it's literally so beautiful.
Something else I really adore about his spawn ending vs. his ascended ending is that he burns down cazador's palace in his spawn ending. Burns it to the ground and destroys it for good. Whereas ascended Astarion literally moves into the palace and like...sure you can headcanon that maybe he eventually has a new, even grander palace built. But the mental image of Astarion wandering those halls is just so fucking sad to think about. He could go anywhere and do anything but he's still physically occupying the space that hosted so many horrors and tortures for him. And it to me that just screams that he's still there mentally.
I'll always defend people who like the ascended ending because I understand the appeal of it. As a dark romance enjoyer, I very much understand the appeal of the dark consort ending. And I don't even think this is the "worst" ending for Astarion because there's at least still potential for him (as opposed to the endings where he dies or is still being hunted, which ARE the worst endings for him). But it does feel like a step backward for him. And I think the people who go "Well this is just NATURAL character progression for him he's selfish af of course he would want this" Think too little of him or at least underestimate his capacity to care for others.
Because he very obviously DOES care. And allowing him to get to a place where he can foster that sense of compassion for others is truly so beautiful and so profound to see. I'm someone who is easily moved by fiction already but Astarion's story really touches my heart just because of how rewarding it is to see how far he comes in those endings.
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mumms-the-word · 26 days
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Illithid Souls - Part 3
The Case Studies: Karlach and Gale
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Welcome to the third and final part of this wild deep dive rabbit hole monstrosity that is the three-part series about illithid souls and whether mind flayers, or specifically you as a mind flayer, have a soul.
If you read Part 1 and Part 2, then you know that yes, illithids have souls, they're just different souls that the gods don't recognize as souls because they're non-apostolic, or incapable of divine worship (as opposed to being apostolic like most humanoid souls). You now also know that you turning into a mind flayer is a bit of a special case because of the Netherese magic in the tadpoles, and this might be why you retain more of your soul than normal mind flayers would.
Also, a quick reminder of the two theories we're working with here: Theory 1 is that when someone becomes a mind flayer they essentially just die and their (apostolic) soul moves on to the Fugue Plane and the mind flayer body just gets a new illithid soul from somewhere. Theory 2 is that when someone becomes a mind flayer their soul is transformed and altered into an illithid soul, which remains tethered to the mind flayer body. BG3 seems to operate more on the Theory 2 side of things, but as we'll see with Karlach and Gale, it's more complicated than you think.
So let's deep dive, shall we?
The Case of Karlach
I'm going to be candid here and say that the mind flayer ending for Karlach makes me really sad, even knowing that there's a very high chance that her soul is mostly intact and she is mostly still Karlach. But there's no denying she's at least a little different, though the game tries to comfort us otherwise after she transforms.
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Narrator: *She is transformed. Her body is no longer hers, but her eyes, her heart - she is still Karlach, for now. Only - there's a hunger in her eyes that wasn't there before.*
That "for now" is rather ominous, isn't it? But we have enough evidence from Tav/Durge/other Origins and Orpheus to suggest that the likelihood of her retaining her memories and her personality is very high. In fact, when you talk to her during the epilogue, she does seem mostly the same, though her language has mellowed out to a more formal tone and she speaks less colloquially (and swears less and less).
If you talk to her immediately after she transforms, she marvels that she's still "herself" but also "more," which again reinforces that we all get to be special mind flayers who don't completely lose our souls. But I think there are some interesting lines in this dialogue:
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Karlach: This is wild. I'm myself but... but more. Player: I don't like the sound of that. Karlach: Don't worry, soldier. It's still your old pal under all this purple. But suddenly 'I' am different than I ever knew. And my engine, it's... it's... silent. No heat. No gears. Still there, but no longer threatening to explode. Soldier... Player: I guess turning into an illithid has its perks. Karlach: Here I thought I was making a sacrifice. Thank the gods I'm a noble fuck! Shit. I'm gonna be all right. I get to be alive. I get to stay. As a hideous monster, sure. But one that can feel. Think. Live. But I'm still myself. And I know what our mission is. I'm glad I get to the do the honours.
Karlach reiterates over and over that she's still herself, but you can literally hear the change in her voice. Where normally her tone and volume would be boisterous, loud, and energetic, she's now calm and mellow, even when she's swearing. Her tone here is more one of wonder. It isn't just the internal and external fires that have calmed down, her overall demeanor seems "cooler" too.
Also, in her romance ending just before the epilogue, where you're both in the Elfsong Tavern room, you can mention that she does seem a little altered.
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Player: I still love you, Karlach. I still want to be with you. Karlach: I love you too. Before, that love was an irrepressible inferno. Now it is a calm, cool object of beauty. Player: I can see you're still yourself, but there's something else in there too. An illithid calm. Karlach: Maybe you're right. I feel less... changeable. Less afraid. I feel ready for whatever is to come.
It doesn't tell us much, but it does reinforce that when we or any of our companions turn into a mind flayer, we likely retain a lot of our former personality, but in a much more calm, even-keeled kind of way. Again going back to the idea that our soul is still there, still mostly the same, but has been made a bit more illithid.
What is more interesting for Karlach, specifically, is her discussion of her diet as a mind flayer. Remember what souls are allegedly made up of? Intelligence, personality, and what else?
Memories.
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Karlach: For example, my favourite food used to be mutton chops. Do you know what it is now? Brains, soldier. Brains. Player: Comes with the illithid territory, I suppose. Karlach: True. But I've found ways to maintain my values while respecting that which I am - that which made it possible for me to live. I've made arrangements with a healer in the city. When a patient is beyond saving, but still able to speak for themselves, they're offered a choice. They can go as nature intends to take them. Or, when they're ready - when their goodbyes have been said, their affairs settled, and all that awaits them is pain - I relieve them. When I consume their brains, I am nourished by much more than the physical nutrition. Their memories - from birth to death - become part of me. I've lived hundreds of childhoods, first loves, marriages, feuds and friendships. I remember them all. And in this way, we all live on. Together.
There's so much to unpack here. One, she still remembers her values, even six months later, but is trying to negotiate her former humanoid values (and personality, I imagine) with her needs as a mind flayer. That seems very Karlach, through and through.
But then, when she consumes these dying patients' brains, she absorbs and retains their memories. I imagine their souls still go on to the Fugue Plane, because I highly doubt that mind flayers also consume souls when they eat brains, but it still leaves me with questions. Karlach isn't part of a hivemind, which normally circulates memories between each other, but she's becoming a similar kind of receptacle for memories, and only she is the one that contains them, rather than an entire hivemind.
I have to wonder how much something like constantly consuming and remembering memories that are not your own affects you as a person/creature. Does that eventually lead to a loss of self, as you begin to "live" multiple different lives? Or does it all count as mere knowledge?
In some ways this would put her in competition with any elder brains still out there, but she's also not collecting knowledge for the sake of knowledge. She's collecting memories and living them out in her mind, which is a certain kind of tragedy. She's literally living vicariously through these people because her mind flayer body is too scary to go out and about in, and she's making up for a decade of life she didn't get to live. She's alive, but she's not...living if that makes sense. And again...how long before all these memories start to change who she is?
(An aside. I really don’t think her eating brains and collecting memories keeps someone’s soul from moving on. If you use the spell Speak with Dead, you don’t call back an entire soul, but the corpse still has access to its memories. I think in this case, even though memories make up part of a soul, Karlach consuming brains and collecting memories is more like her downloading a copy of the memories for herself. The dead person likely still takes their own memories with them to the Fugue Plane, where they will be judged by Kelemvor or collected by their favorite deity. She’s just copy/pasting data, not transferring everything from one hard drive to another, if that analogy makes sense.)
This arrangement where Karlach consumes the brains of dying patients is expanded or clarified a bit if you're romancing her during the epilogue, and also includes a reference to souls as well.
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Karlach: I can’t wait to say hello, but to be honest, I’m keen to visit the doctor before it gets too late. He said there’s a potential in his infirmary. A very old woman recently diagnosed with a wasting sickness. She seemed interested in what I have to offer. I’ll want to have a good long talk with her before we make an arrangement. Though if I’m being very selfish, I hope she’ll say yes. I’m absolutely famished - and think of all those memories. Player: Glad to hear. I was worried you were getting hungry. Karlach: I don’t hide it well, do I? Some things don’t change, even when everything else does. It’s funny. I’m hungry in my body, but in my soul too. That woman has lived a long life - births, deaths, love, misfortune. And if she agrees, I’ll be able to give her a dignified end, and remember it all in her honour.
Or if you go with a different option:
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Player: I'm still not sure how I feel about this arrangement. Are you sure it's ethical to feed on the dying? Karlach: I'm sure of very little these days. But at least this way, I can live. And those who offer themselves to me can live on too. Births, first loves, marriages, losses - I remember them all and always will. Each memory I've consumed is of value.
It's just so interesting to me. One, her remark that she's eager to say hello but slightly more interested in chatting to a doctor about her next meal suggests that some elements of becoming a mind flayer are much harder to ignore. I imagine if she's hungry, she feels less like Karlach. (And I have thoughts, for another post, about whether she becomes "too fixated" on living when she's a mind flayer, given the cost of what it means to stay alive as a mind flayer.)
But she also says she's hungry in her soul. Her soul seems deeply interested in these memories, and I wonder if that's because memories are (or could be) part of souls themselves. Maybe the remark isn't really that deep, but she specifically connects the hunger of her soul to all the memories a long-lived woman will have. It's almost as if these memories nurture her soul, but it's unclear whether that is because it's somehow healing to see and "experience" life in ways she can't now that she's a mind flayer, or if it's because the memories have some kind of tangible effect on her soul/souls in general.
I suppose we won't know for sure. What we do know from Karlach's case, however, is that a great deal of the original soul (personality, memories, etc) seems to stick around even six months later, though there are noticeable changes in personality, such as an overall calm demeanor. There are also hints that consuming brains could lead to further changes down the road, but there's nothing really concrete. Just hints.
In the end, Karlach is still Karlach, and her soul still has plenty of elements of the original Karlach, even six months later. This is a good sign, but we can't completely ignore that her new body/mind as a mind flayer will necessarily mean some things have permanently changed. Whether you judge those changes as good or bad is up to you.
With that said, let's move on to the final and most mind-boggling case.
The Case of Gale
If you play a companion as an Origin run, the mind flayer decision typically works out the same way as Tav...unless you're playing as Gale. Gale gets some extra options at the end of the game.
This is mostly because Gale has perhaps the most apostolic soul that hangs in the balance, second only to Shadowheart, and her soul pendulum swings between Selûne and Shar. Gale, however, seems to be walking on a knife's edge trying to retain or earn back entry into Elysium, Mystra's domain in the Outer Planes. He's allegedly already been there, though not as a dead soul, so he knows what's at stake if his soul suddenly becomes non-apostolic or disappears.
In other words, Gale has a formerly Faithful apostolic soul, but he spends much of the game probably worried his soul will be judged as False when he dies (since he lost Mystra's favor) until Mystra offers her brand of forgiveness, which is essentially "if you sacrifice your own life, I'll let you into Elyisum again." It's a guarantee that he ends up in the afterlife he wants to be in. That's what Mystra's forgiveness really boils down to.
Now, this is a man who does not want to sacrifice his soul, and also (Netherese orb aside) does not want to die if his soul is going to be judged as False by Kelemvor rather than welcomed into Elysium as a Faithful soul. We know that Gale finds the Fugue Plane exceedingly depressing, so I can't imagine he has any desire to wander around it for any stretch of time, even if Mystra does eventually deign to invite him into Elysium. I'm sure the thought of becoming part of the Wall of the Faithless might as well be hell to him.
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Gale: It’s a relief to be back in beautiful Faerûn. The dreariness of the Fugue Plane oppresses one’s soul so very quickly.
[mumm's note: yes my man died in service of a Tactician battle against Grym, but he got better]
It's a little surprising to see how adamantly Gale would prefer to choose the Netherese orb over letting himself or anyone he cares for become illithid. Look at some of what he says when he tries to offer the orb as an option for the final battle:
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Gale: An easy proposition for the Emperor to make - 'become a mind flayer' - it has no soul to sacrifice. If it did - perhaps it would understand the weight of what it's asking of us. And why we might seek an alternative.
I couldn't get this next dialogue to trigger in my game, but in the same conversation as above you might potentially get the option to remind him about Mystra's offer to cure his orb condition, and even then he reminds you of the stakes that come with becoming a mind flayer.
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Player: Mystra will cure you if we bring her the Crown of Karsus. You don't need to do this. Gale: To cure me of the orb, yes. But what of the guilt of allowing one of my friends to sacrifice their very soul and become illithid?
Now keep in mind, up to this point no one has shown any evidence that turning into a mind flayer won't actually mean the total destruction of one's soul. Up until now, the only evidence anyone has of an original soul remaining intact inside a mind flayer body is the Emperor (we have no frame of reference for who Omeluum was before he was a mind flayer), and most of the companions do not trust the Emperor one bit. So Gale genuinely thinks that becoming a mind flayer means your soul is either destroyed or changed so much that it's no longer you.
I mean, think about it. He's half expecting you to take the tadpole the Emperor offers and literally cease to exist. He's expecting to fight alongside a mind flayer who has, at best, your name and a few scraps of your memory, and at worst, no shred of you at all. Because again, up until this point in the game, none of them realize that they could become a special mind flayer who does actually retain most (if not all) of their soul, including their personality and memories.
Gale literally thinks that blowing up and going to the Fugue Plane is better than you or any companion becoming a mind flayer.
But that's in a companion run. Obviously, if you play him as an Origin, you can have him turn into a mind flayer as a different kind of ultimate sacrifice. The decision plays out the same as a Tav/Durge run or any other Origin run. But after the game ends, Gale gets unique dialogue if he (1) sacrifices himself or (2) does not sacrifice himself and goes to meet Mystra with the Crown in hand.
Any run of his sacrifice (aka, using the orb, regardless of whether or not he is illithid) results in Withers finding him in the Fugue Plane for a brief conversation. This conversation isn't much different if Gale is a mind flayer when he uses the orb, since all it does is add an extra option to their conversation that references being illithid ("One illithid for the whole of Faerûn seems like a fair trade to me," which replaces the option "One wizard for the whole of Faerûn...etc").
(An aside, I don't have an Origin Gale run so I can't test this, but I think if he ends his life on the docks as a mind flayer, the way Tav/Durge can with a knife got the stomach, then he just gets the usual Tav/Durge conversation with Withers about how his form has "something of the spirit" about him. See Part 2 if you're curious about that conversation.)
What this conversation with Withers reveals is how much control Mystra seems to have over his soul, especially if/when he's a mind flayer. If Gale decides to sacrifice himself using the Netherese Orb, Withers remarks about how surprising it is that Mystra hasn’t picked him up yet.
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Withers: Who flickers there ‘twixt the shadows? Gale, who didst surrender his very self for the salvation of Faerûn. I feared I might not find thee here - that Mystra would have already plucked thy thread from the tapestry of fate. But she may wait a while yet.
It’s a little unclear if Withers uses “plucked thy thread from the tapestry of fate” to mean Gale gets to go to Elysium or something else, and it’s equally unclear whether Mystra waiting is a sign of displeasure or a sign that she is interested in sending Gale back to the Material Plane. She is capable of doing that, after all, and has frequently resurrected her Chosens, like Elminster, if it suits her.
But I highlight this conversation to show that you can get it as a mind flayer, and (if you are a mind flayer during this scene) that Mystra waiting isn't because he's a mind flayer and she can't find his soul. She waits for a minute regardless of whether he's illithid or not. But Withers is certain Mystra will be able to find Gale's soul, because he was able to find Gale's soul and recognize it as Gale.
So, not to harp on this again and again, but it's proof that turning into a mind flayer didn't destroy Gale's soul. It's still Gale's soul, even in the Fugue Plane, even if he's mind-flayer-shaped, and that soul is still capable of journeying to Elysium, should Mystra bother to find it wandering the Fugue Plane (or wherever he is).
But things are a little different if Gale decides to become a mind flayer and then goes to visit Mystra with the Crown of Karsus in hand. Keep in mind, Origin!Gale always has the option to face off against Mystra after the defeat of the Netherbrain, and this face-off is where he decides to hand over the Crown, become the god of ambition, or straight up try to fight Mystra.
However! If Gale is a mind flayer, he gets a secret fourth option.
If Gale goes to meet Mystra as an illithid with the Crown of Karsus and then gives up the Crown to her, Mystra offers to take Gale to Elysium with her. More than that, she offers to literally restore his humanity and cure him of illithidness.
Sort of.
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Mystra: So, Gale of Waterdeep, you have become the inheritor of Karsus’ powers at last. What do you intend to do with them? Gale: I came to surrender them. The Crown, the Karsite Weave - take it all. Mystra: This offering cost you greatly. There is no hope in life as an illithid, devoid of soul and conscience. It is within my power to restore your soul, and your humanity, if you are willing to leave the mortal realms behind. Return with me, to Elysium.
No one else is offering this kind of deal to an Origin-turned-mind-flayer. Selûne and Shar don’t care if Shadowheart turns illithid, and Withers isn’t exactly offering to restore souls and humanity (or…mortalness?) to everyone else. This is a signifier of the sheer amount of power Mystra has, yes, but this also hints at some other things.
One, despite evidence of the contrary, Mystra is adamant that Gale-as-illithid is or would be “devoid of soul and conscience,” even though we know that that likely isn’t true (just see Karlach, Tav/Durge, etc). Perhaps Mystra is unaware that Gale is a Special Mind Flayer (seems unlikely), or perhaps she’s simply trying to convince Gale to come with her. After all, what she’s offering is still a kind of reward.
Then again, maybe Gale and/or Mystra fear the long-term effects of illithidness. Maybe over time he would become less and less like Gale, perhaps due to consuming memories, or other factors that come with being a mind flayer. Still, though, saying that his life would be "devoid of soul and conscience" seems like a massive stretch on Mystra's part.
But anyway, the reward for him turning into a mind flayer and giving her the Crown is a restoration of his humanity...but only in death.
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Mystra: Return with me, to Elysium. Devnote: respectful - Gale sacrificed his humanity to achieve what she asked. If he’s willing to die on the mortal planes, she will restore his soul and body but in the heavens.
Now before I get to what happens if Gale agrees to this reward, I want to point out that Mystra herself sort of acknowledges that Gale isn't exactly devoid of soul and conscience if he refuses her offer. Here are some of the ways Gale can turn her down, with her answer to each option being the same:
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Gale: [Option 1] Thank you, but no. I have someone waiting for me. Gale: [Option 2] Perhaps one day, but for now there is more I need to accomplish. Gale: [Option 3] Being an illithid has its advantages. I'm content as I am. Mystra: Then you are free to go with both my thanks and my promise - henceforth, your prayers will always be answered.
The whole idea of an apostolic soul is that it means the person is capable of worshipping a divine being, and this worship ncludes prayers. She might have said that him being illithid would mean he would be devoid of soul and conscience, but in nearly the same breath she promises to answer all his prayers. So she recognizes something of a soul within him. So why say he would be devoid of soul?
Of course, things get weird if Gale accepts her offer to be restored and go to Elyisum. If Gale agrees, then she fulfills her promise and even restores his place as one of her Chosen.
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Gale: I crave nothing more. Take me to Elysium. Mystra: So be it. Gale of Waterdeep, Chosen of Mystra. Cinematic Tag: Mystra transforms Mindflayer Gale back to his human form (hollow) and grabs Gale’s hand. They return to Elysium.
This is wild to me. You see, originally when I started this project I thought I was going to be writing posts about how interesting it is that when you become a mind flayer, your soul is probably hanging out in the Fugue Plane or something, and eventually I’d suggest that Mystra is able to restore Gale’s soul to him because it’s already gone to her domain or she knows how to find it because he used to be so faithful to her. But none of that works now.
Because now I’m convinced that the Netherese tadpole changes everyone into a Special Mind Flayer whose soul is still present in their mind flayer bodies, just altered or transformed. So what’s up with this stuff from Mystra? She recognizes Gale as Gale even when he's a mind flayer and promises to answer his prayers, so clearly there's some kind of apostolic soul thing going on here. So why does she offer to "restore his soul," and also, why only in death?
She does say that she will restore Gale’s humanity, so now I assume that somehow her powers allow her to un-alter Gale’s soul so that it isn’t so illithid anymore. My idea is that she’s essentially restoring his soul to its former state and not, as we might otherwise infer, literally giving him his soul back, as if it were separate from his body. Gale’s soul is still in his mind flayer body, if all the rest of the evidence holds any water, so Mystra must have merely changed it back to the way it was.
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quick picture break, this is from Northalix's video, linked below
Which makes me wonder, can a completely original, apostolic-type soul exist in an illithid body? Or does the body dictate that the soul must be somewhat illithid in order to be compatible?
Because the thing is, this deal comes with an ultimatum. She’s not going to let him go back to the mortal realms after she’s restored his soul. She probably could—she’s probably capable of doing that, if only by giving him a completely new body (she's done that before with Elminster). But she doesn’t. The cure comes with a cost. He only gets to be human again if he agrees to die completely and join her in Elysium. There is no undoing the illithid sacrifice, which seems more like a game limitation than a Mystra limitation (although we can certainly brainstorm reasons why Mystra would be so petty as to basically say "I can make you human again but only if you die completely.")
I want to point out that Mystra doesn't offer to let Gale come back to Elysium as a dead guy if he's not a mind flayer. Like, we don't get the sparkly ascension scene if he blows up with the Netherese orb, we get the Withers visit in the Fugue Plane. This Elysium offer is an illithid-only option. If he's not a mind flayer and he returns the Crown, she cures him of the Netherese Orb and sends him back. There's no option to join her in Elysium. Why is this an illithid-only option?
Also, just...I need you to watch the scene.
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There's a lot that bothers me about this. One, the gestures she makes are the exact gestures God!Gale makes when he ascends Tav/Durge if they romanced him and agreed to become a god with him. Do with that what you will. But two...it just gives me the ick. This is a different kind of ascension for Gale. It's a restoration of his place in Elysium, but it ultimately means his premature death. If this is the route you take as him...it's hardly better than him sacrificing himself using the Netherese Orb without becoming a mind flayer. Only this time, we get to see the scene where he goes to Elysium, I guess.
It also massively complicates the whole idea that everyone gets to be a special mind flayer with a mostly-intact, mostly-apostolic soul. If the soul didn't change, why does Mystra need to "restore" it? And if it did change, why is Mystra the only one capable of un-changing it back to its original form (is it because he’s her Chosen and is/was so faithful)?And if such a thing is possible, why offer it and then say "but you're dead now"?
It seems as though her "fixing" Gale's soul was really just her...I don't know, separating it from his physical mind flayer body so the illithid anatomy wouldn't mess with it as much, and then dusting off his soul, which is now bodyless, and taking it with her to Elysium. I'm not saying that's what she did, but that's the weird vibes I get from this interaction. Like, there seems to be some kind of implication that you can't have a fully humanoid, apostolic soul housed within an illithid body. The soul has to be altered somehow to work with the illithid body.
So why not just give him a new body, Mystra??? Fix is soul and give him a new body! You’re absolutely capable of that!
I have so many questions.
Of course, keep in mind that Gale can reject her, obviously, and return to the mortal realms as a mind flayer. She does acknowledge that he has at least something of a soul that can pray to her so...I mean, there's that.
Anyways, what have we learned?
The Summary
With Karlach, we see that being a mind flayer does necessarily change parts of a person's personality (which, again, is part of their soul). Usually this results in a person seeming calmer, more mellow, less emotional than they normally would have been, but it does seem that for Tav/Durge, the companions, and Orpheus that turning into a mind flayer doesn't completely destroy their soul. It just seems to alter it a bit. In my opinion, the soul just becomes a tiny bit more illithid. Karlach’s case does leave us with questions about how “good” consuming and retaining so many memories might be in the long run, but as of six months post-ceremorphosis, she seems fine.
From Gale, we learn that apparently it's possible to restore or un-alter a partly-illithid soul so that it goes back to normal, but this power is extremely rare and likely relegated to the gods alone (or a particularly powerful Wish spell). We're also reminded that keeping recognizable parts of one's soul, like the personality and memories, is a huge surprise, because that's not how normal mind flayers work. We know this from Orpheus, but Gale just kinda reinforced it.
I guess we also learned that Mystra is a massive—but I should keep this civil. We all know what Mystra is.
It shouldn't come as a surprise that she's unwilling to accept Gale into her domain while he is still a mind flayer, even though his soul obviously would fit the bill based on what a soul is/does for the gods. He has a viable apostolic soul, it’s just mind-flayer-shaped!I'm sure Mystra thinks she's being magnanimous by offering him eternity as a human in Elysium, but I think it ultimately just shows how shallow she can be. Gale only gets to come back if he’s not mind flayer shaped.
And I think, deep down, Gale has always suspected that would be the case.
And on that familiar note, my friends, thank you for joining me on this excessively long deep dive into mind flayer souls and things we can learn from the game and the lore.
~*~*~
If you made it to the end, congrats! More gold stars for you!
✨⭐️🌟⭐️✨⭐️🌟⭐️✨⭐️🌟⭐️✨
If you read through all three parts and also made it to the end of this one, you are the real MVP and I wish I had stickers or achievements to give you so you can be like "I survived another three-part deep dive from mumm." But I don't even have a lousy T-Shirt to offer you.
You can have this random picture instead though :> it's my Tav Dani looking very unimpressed by the Emperor's offer of sexy times (sorry not sorry Empy, she's got a man and his name is Gale and she prefers him and all her friends to be tentacle-free)
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Enjoy the lore and remember that it's all up to you to decide what you want to keep or reject! I'm just showing you what's out there!
Tags for those who wanted an update! @galesdevoteewife @stuffforthestash
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lendeah · 5 months
Text
Note: I just wrote this small scene because I feel like the original lacked the anger and emotion of your literal soulmate wanting to IMPLODE HIMSELF??? Anyway, here is my own version of it. Hope you enjoy it :)
Prompt: You convince Gale out of exploding himself to destroy the Elder Brain.
or
Your boyfriend is trying to k word himself for his toxic ex so you have to shake some sense into him.
Pairing: Gale x GN!Reader
Words: 1.3k
Tags: fluff, hurt/comfort, minimal angst.
The warmth of Gale's embrace made you hesitate to move, as if any motion would shatter the moment. But as you stirred, the illusion of the starry sky from last night was quickly replaced by the harsh reality. The looming Moonrise Towers stretched towards the horizon, casting an eerie glow over the dark and cursed sky. You could feel Gale's chest rising and falling beneath your head, your bodies entwined in a tangle of limbs.
"Do you really have to do it?" you whispered, knowing that he had been awake for some time now. The heaviness in your voice betrayed the weight of this question - one that you already knew the answer to.
"It is what Mystra expects of me" he replied, his voice tinged with sorrow. Gale slowly untangled himself from your hold and sat up, his eyes scanning the horizon. You could see the conflict in his expression, but also a sense of duty and determination.
"We can always look for another way," you said, reaching out to touch his arm. He turned to look at you, his eyes meeting yours with a mix of sadness and longing.
"I know," he said softly, "but I have to make up for my wrongdoings. For the time being, I hope the end is much farther away than I had suspected, and that tonight meant as much to you as it did to me"
You wanted to argue, to convince him that you could face whatever lay ahead together, but deep down you knew that it wouldn't matter. At the very end, all you felt was a strong desire to be by his side and stand with him, no matter what choice he made, even at the cost of his and your own life.
"I will stand by your side no matter what," you declared solemnly.
A small smile tugged at Gale's lips before he leaned in "Thank you," he whispered, brushing a soft kiss against your temple. "I love you," he added, voice full of emotion.
You opened your mouth to respond, but no words came out. Instead, you simply nodded and gave him a small smile. You just held to the hope that when the time came, sometime in the far future, he would reconsider.
The time, much to your dismay, came much before you expected. It turned out, the Absolute, which now you knew was an Elder Brain, was lying beneath Moonrise Towers all along.
"Well, shit," Astarion exclaimed as he surveyed the massive organ with its pulsing and writhing tentacles emerging from its base. "I did not see that coming."
"We need to make a plan," Shadowheart said firmly.
Lae'zel stood at the ready, her sword glistening in the dim light as she spoke. "We shall seek out a weakness, or create one ourselves."
Wyll nervously tightened his grip on his weapon. "A weakness? That beast appears impenetrable."
"Ketheric is our priority," Karlach declared, determination hardening her voice. "That fucker is going down for what he did to Nightsong and Isobel."
As the group discussed their options, you couldn't help but glance over at Gale, your heart pounding like a drum in your chest. You had thought you were prepared for this moment, but now, as he stood before you, you realized you couldn't let him do it. The love you held for the wizard had rooted itself so deeply within your heart that the mere thought of losing him, or worse, watching him sacrifice himself, was unbearable. You knew that he was brave and selfless, but you couldn't let him go without a fight.
Gale stood a few meters behind the group, his eyes fixed on the towering brain before them.
"That Crown," he whispered, mostly to himself, "it radiates with power unlike anything I've ever seen." He took a step closer, his gaze never faltering. "To have it...to hold it...if only I could." He shook his head. "But I can't... this is it. I must do as Mystra commands."
You felt your breathing stop.
"Wait!" you scream, reaching for his arm. "Gale, you can't do this. You cannot condemn us all."
You could see the turmoil in Gale's eyes as he looked back at you. His hand hesitated, hovering over his chest before finally falling to his side.
Gale sighed heavily and shook his head. "what choice do I have?" he asked softly, his eyes filled with sadness. "More than just a goddess counts on my courage, the whole worlds hang in the balance."
"But what about our lives?" you argued, tears welling up in your eyes. "I know I promised to support you, but I can't stand and watch as you blow yourself up for an uncertain future. You deserve more than that, and I know there will be another way. And if not, at least we will die trying."
He looks divided, his face contorted in confusion.
"Mystra's mission is paramount," he insists, his voice trembling with determination. "I will not fail her."
You take a step closer and grip his face roughly, forcing him to meet your gaze.
"Don't you see? Mystra has let you down countless times!" you roar, tears streaming down your face. "You owe her nothing. You owe no one anything, much less your own life. You deserve to live." Your body trembles with emotion as you try to break through his blind devotion.
Gale looks at you, his expression softening. "I...I can't abandon my duty," he says, his voice barely above a whisper.
"But you also can't abandon us," you reply, your voice shaky. "We need you, Gale. I need you." You take a shuddering breath, your words pouring out in a rush of raw honesty. "And...I love you."
Gale's eyes widen in surprise at your confession. He opens his mouth to speak, but you press on, not wanting to give him a chance to object. "And if there is a possibility of a shared future next to you, I will fight for it until my very last breath."
Gale's expression softens even more, and he reaches up to cup your cheek with his hand.
"Fine," he says, determination in his eyes. "I trust you. We'll find another way."
You let out a sob of relief and wrapped your arms tightly around him, holding onto him as if he might disappear at any moment. "I should have told you sooner," you whisper, tears still streaming down your face. "But I was so afraid...afraid of losing you."
Gale closed his eyes and held onto you tightly, allowing himself to finally let go of the burden he had been carrying alone for so long. And in that moment, surrounded by chaos and uncertainty, everything feels right.
"I love you too," Gale whispered into your hair. "And I promise to fight for a future where we can be together."
You pull back slightly to look into his eyes, a glimmer of hope shining through the tears. And without another word, Gale leans down and presses his lips against yours in a passionate kiss.
As if on cue, the ground begins to shake violently as the brain continues its descent towards them. But this time, instead of feeling fear and desperation, you feel determination and hope burning within both of you. You have something worth fighting for.
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