#but a lot of trans women have to conform to set gender roles at the risk of being denied healthcare or job opportunities etc

[tiredyke]

y’all really think cis dudes who dress femininely as a joke for views online are more enlightened and nuanced in gender than literal trans women lol

#transmisogyny #y’all think cis men who fuck with their gender presentation are more capable of understanding the complexity of gender than trans women #because you don’t think trans women or women in general are capable of complex thought. you don’t think they’re capable of thoroughly #understanding social constructs and choosing to engage with them anyway for whatever personal reason #whether necessity or comfort or joy or self expression #because cis dudes have the luxury of retaining their manhood and deconstructing gender as a joke and y’all eat it up #but a lot of trans women have to conform to set gender roles at the risk of being denied healthcare or job opportunities etc

[genderqueerdykes]

Hey I love your blog! I wanted to ask if..Can a perisex afab label themselves as transfem? Coming from a point of genuine confusion.

Little background on me, I'm a black non binary and perisex afab and I don't believe to find myself medically transitioning ever..Yet I find myself relating to trans fem experiences more than trans masc experiences. I don't think I've identified quite why yet but im working on it 🩷

Sorry if this was a rude thing to ask, I will not be using any kind of label if it's not meant for me or disrespects other people which is what I'm trying to avoid by sending this ask. Thanks n have a fuckin awesome day yall. ✌✨

hello there, thanks for asking!

sorry for the late reply!

the answer to this is yes, depending on your lived experience; a lot of women and people of color in general feel as though they've had to fight to be seen as their proper gender due to white beauty standards being forced on them since childhood. if you are a black woman of color who feels as though you are not seen as yourself due to the fact that you do not conform to white beauty standards and other people judge you, misgender you, mislabel you, tell you you're not feminine enough, etc. you are having a transfeminine experience (and experiencing transmisogyny)-

race actually plays a huge role in gender roles as we know them and i'm sorry you're going through this as well. i'm mixed black and because of that, i was told i'm not feminine enough to be a woman because i have a large nose, heavy brow and deep set eyes. people don't know what they're talking about

it doesn't matter that you're perisex, but i appreciate you being respectful! this ask was totally in line, i've heard this experience from a ton of people of color, men of color experience the exact same thing in the other direction as well. you're not alone, this is common, and it is due to systemic racism.

hope this helps! take care of yourself! thanks for sending this ask, appreciate you!

#asks #answers #transfeminine #transfem #transfemininity

[boreal-sea]

"I enjoy many activities our society associates with the concepts of femininity and womanhood / masculinity manhood"

"I enjoy dressing in a style of clothing our society associates with women / men"

"I enjoy using this set of pronouns"

"I enjoy having sex traits commonly associated with females / males"

---

These are all separate concepts, and some of them are based on gender/sex stereotypes.

If a person has interests, clothing preferences, and pronouns that match with the stereotypes attached to their sex or gender, they are called "gender conforming", a term that exists solely within the context of having gender roles in the first place. And if all of the above matches with the sex they were assigned at birth, they are a gender conforming cis person.

But these things do not all have to match. Lots of folks are "gender nonconforming". These people can be cis or trans or identify as neither.

I think the big gender critical hypocrisy comes from viewing gender conforming cis people as fine or even invisible, but gender conforming trans people as "threats" who are "reinforcing gender stereotypes". You don't see gender criticals calling out cis women who wear dresses, you don't see them demanding men wear skirts. You only see them call out gender-conforming trans people.

If we were to eliminate gender and sex stereotypes, that wouldn't stop people who identify as women from enjoying gardening and crochet - but we wouldn't criticize men who like those things too. I don't know if it necessarily makes sense to say "we should have a society where we don't describe things as feminine or masculine". It makes more sense to me to just have a world where we don't judge people for doing feminine or masculine things.

What things are considered "masculine" and what things are "feminine" changes depending on time and culture anyway. It's only when you demand that only women can be feminine and only men can be masculine that it becomes a problem.

And to extend that further, it's not a problem for men or women to exist. It IS a problem to demand that only females can be women and only males can be men. It's not a problem for men with beards to exist. It IS a problem to insist women cannot have beards.

#feminism #gender liberation #trans #transgender #gender critical #gender abolition #revolutionary feminism

[variousqueerthings]

Some stuff about queer culture in Weimar Berlin 

Note: Das Institut für Sexualwissenschaft does not have a definitively used translation from what I see -- have seen Institute of Sexology (my preferred translation), Sexual Science, Sexual Research, Sexual Knowledge etc. It’s all the same place.

any further suggestions, feel very welcome to add!

*

ONLINE:

the wikipedia for the institute: yeah, yeah it’s wikipedia, but get some groundwork done here if you know nothing at all, so the next set of recommendations don’t overwhelm you

Remembering Dora Richter, One of the First Women to receive Gender-Affirming Surgery: good introduction to the Institute of Sexology, with a focus on one of the women who lived, worked, and received care there

On the Clinics and Bars of Weimar Berlin: a more in-depth article about the institute, some of the people who sought to get support via it, and the surrounding culture of the time

The Magnus Hirschfeld Society: a lot of their work is published online, in German, French, and English. Hours of fun.

Interview with the author Laurie Marhoefer: discussing his book (mentioned below) Sex and the Weimar Republic, which focuses on various fronts to sexual liberation in the Weimar Republic, including the limitations of assimilationist approaches*

*Marhoefer is currently working on their third book centred on queer persecution during the Third Reich, which “centrally analyzes racism as a vector of persecution,” so that’s something to keep an eye out for too

The Asian Canadian gay activist whose theories on sexuality were decades ahead of their time: an article about Li Shiu Tong, by Marhoefer, who also wrote a book about him (see below). The title really says it all

The Transvestite Magazine of Weimar Berlin: a series of magazines that were published until 1933 when the crackdown on queer rights resulted in the destruction of the Institute of Sexology, featuring examples of voices almost completely overlooked -- transvestites who were simply living their lives

The Institute for Sexualwissenschaft: this blog post goes into something I’ve been thinking as well -- the parallels between the anti-queer/anti-trans violence perpetuated by the German government before, during, and after the Nazis and the anti-queer/anti-trans rhetoric and violence today. Where would we be if all that research had survived? (and luckily, some of it has!)

*

BOOKS

Der Liebe und Dem Leid: Das Institut für Sexualwissenschaft 1919-1933: a recent German historical account of the institute of Sexology that I desperately want to get my hands on

Sex and the Weimar Republic: German Homosexual Emancipation and the Rise of the Nazis: explores intersectional fights for queer emancipation during the Weimar Republic and its limitations

Racism and the Making of Gay Rights: A Sexologist, His Student, and the Empire of Queer Love: goes deeper into the story of Li Shiu Tong, who was an impressive researcher at the institute and whose contribution to sexual and gender philosophies is being reconsidered at the moment!

Magnus Hirschfeld: The Origins of the Gay Liberation Movement: a biography of Magnus Hirschfeld and his central role in the queer liberation movement of the time

The Masculine Woman in Weimar Germany: looks at the depictions of women who didn’t conform to standard gendered and sexual expectations from 1918-1933 and explores their role to understand gendered lives and experiences at this point in German history

The Hirschfeld Archives: Violence, Death, and Modern Queer Culture: a book I desperately want to read on anti-queer violence in the early 20th century, focusing on the Institute of Sexology and its destruction, which has gathered archival material from “over a hundred published and unpublished books, articles, films and photographs.”

Gay Berlin: Birthplace of a Modern Identity: another broader book about Berlin. I’m interested in the subtitle “birthplace of a modern identity” as potentially exploring the ways Berlin was the centre of explorations that despite the Nazis best efforts are still alive and -- with setbacks -- remembered today

Queer Identities and Politics in Germany: A History, 1880-1945: Idk what to tellya it’s about queer identities and politics in Germany between 1880-1945

*

ISHERWOOD

British author Christopher Isherwood spent some time in Berlin, notably including a stay at the Institute of Sexology. This time resulted in “The Berlin Stories,” as well as a section in “Christopher and his Kind” (his autobiography). 

These stories were turned into the play+film “I Am A Camera” and the musical+movie “Cabaret”

The 1993 Alan Cumming and Jane Horrocks Cabaret (one of my favourite things in the world)

Opening of the 1972 movie 

(according to a 1977 biography of Isherwood, he denounced the Berlin Stories in a 1956 essay: “He regretted depicting many persons as "monsters" and noted they were "ordinary human beings prosaically engaged in getting their living through illegal methods. The only genuine monster was the young foreigner who passed gaily through these scenes of desolation, misinterpreting them to suit his childish fantasy."” -- that being said, the people in those books are still very, very interesting and -- despite Isherwood’s initial limitations/biases -- beautiful in their realities)

*

OTHER MOVIES

Anders als die Andern and Laws of Love -- two movies produced via the institute exploring same-sex relationship rights. I haven’t seen the latter yet (it was only restored in 2021, nearly a hundred years after it was released), but it was heavily censored. The former (with the famous German actor Conrad Veidt as a lead) is considered the first movie to overtly show homosexuality. They’re both on the Internet Archive

The Einstein of Sex: Life and Work of Dr. M. Hirschfeld: by cult film-maker Rosa von Praunheim that explores the opening of the institute up until the 30s. I haven’t seen it yet, but very excited! EDIT: currently watching and it’s definitely On A Budget, but a good rundown of Hirschfeld’s life. On youtube with english subs. EDIT 2: having finished it, am interested in how it portrayed Dora Richter (that it had her in it at all was great) -- not completely accurate, but a labour of love

Paragraph 175: a 2000 movie documenting some of the gay men who experienced the violence of the law under Nazi regime and afterwards. This film is simply made, and there aren’t many men featured in it -- it feels like it’s trying to get the story told before they lost their chance completely. The stories are very brutal. It starts pre-war. One of the men talking is the French author Pierre Seel, who lived until 2005 and received recognition as a holocaust survivor in 2003, in part due to this film and his own memoir

Great Freedom: this actually takes place post-war, but another insight into what Paragraph 175 was. the main character was in a concentration camp, but it’s not depicted. I simply think it’s good, although it’s mildly off-topic. 

*

MISC

this has focused a lot on the Institute of Sexology, but I’d like to read some works on Helene Stöcker and the World League for Sexual Reform

#resources #queer stuff #queer resources #weimar berlin #magnus hirschfeld #li shiu tong #laurie marhoefer #heike bauer #paragraph 175 #die institut für sexualwissenschaft #weimar germany #cabaret #christopher isherwood #queer history #queer germany #germany #queer literature #queer non-fiction #queer cinema

[1863-project]

I'm a cisgender heterosexual woman, and I don't feel comfortable being misgendered, but I'm also autistic and I struggle when forced to perform traditional neurotypical femininity, especially if I have to do it in a formal setting.

I've been named the best man at my brother's wedding in a few months, and the dress I have to wear for it has arrived (I still need to get it tailored since it's currently too big in the front). Wearing it makes me feel weird because it's long and elegant and I am decidedly not long and elegant (I'm all of 5'2" and much more rough around the edges). It's a foreign, uncomfortable feeling whenever I'm in a situation where I have to perform and pretend to be capable of dressing and acting this way.

I've noticed that despite other people referring to my role as Best Woman or Best Person, I've still been calling myself Best Man as a sort of rebellion against being put in a neurotypical femininity box I don't fit nicely into. My brand of femininity involves wearing overalls and long coats that go down to my knees and building things and driving 100-year-old vehicles and preserving history. I don't wear makeup for sensory reasons most of the time and certainly not at work where I run the risk of getting oils on documents if I touch my face. I can't wear shoes with heels because I'm flat-footed. I have a big arm-swinging walk and a really firm handshake.

To a lot of people, especially TERFs and their ilk, I don't fit their increasingly narrow perception of what a woman should be. I need you all to understand that as they keep making that definition smaller and smaller in their quest to deny trans and NB people their humanity, they're eventually going to exclude nearly everybody. I have an autoimmune disorder that causes nodules to grow on my thyroid gland, making it look enough like an Adam's apple that I wouldn't be surprised if a TERF tried to clock me as trans. They're coming for butch women, for gender non-conforming women, for neurodivergent and disabled women. Instead of trying to restrict the definition of womanhood to some absurd standard virtually nobody can reach, we need to draw the line here and now.

Stand up for your trans friends. Don't let these people even take an inch. Trans women are absolutely women too, and if you identify as a woman and you're reading this, so are you. Bottom line. All you need to do to be a woman is identify as one. There's no rules. Don't let them try to make them up like a playground game where they keep moving the goalposts because they're sore losers.

#me #get off your soapbox Steph

[vouam]

Hi, I read a post you made and was curious, could you please expand on what you meant by this :

"I knew the world would be a better place with gender abolition rather than gender liberation. I came to the realisation that gender ideology enforces the socialised gender binary that was designed to oppress women."

What do you mean when you say the gender binary, like what specific ideas or examples illustrate the term "gender binary" in the context of an oppressive system meant to control for others' benefit regardless of the controlled people's wellbeing and best interest? Curious too what's the most important differences you see between gender liberation and abolition?

I'm not sure if I'm a gender abolitionist, don't know enough about it yet. As a woman I'm personally motivated in advocating for women, making shame for feminine/female stereotypes irrelevant or people being immune to it's effects. As a human being I'm invested in removing oppressive systems from everyone though I normally look at it from a stress/poverty perspective instead of gender, race etc. In any case I think huge cultural shifts take a long time and go through a lot of awkward phases as a normal part of the culture shifting and evolving into something healthy. I think it takes a lot of patience and making sure to bask in lovely things and not press too hard for perfectionism over progress. I admire that you care about these topics and are taking steps to be verbal about advocating for yourself and all women in general.

Thank you for your question!

So when I refer to gender ideology and the gender binary, I’m talking about socialised gender. Basically the gender roles associated with male and female (stereotypes that have been developed over thousands of years that generally favour men as strong leaders and intelligent while women are domestic, submissive etc.) Socialised gender is also referred to by transgender people when they are asked what gender means/what they define gender as. They say this because obviously they cannot say a woman is an adult human female, because then being trans wouldn’t be a thing. They constantly refer to this idea that sex and gender are different - where sex is biological and gender is social (ie gender roles)

This is the main basis of the gender liberation movement. Conservatives say that your gender role should match your biological sex, whereas the gender liberation movement says that regardless of your biology - you can be whatever gender you want because it’s a social thing.

I, as a gender abolitionist, see a lot of flaws in this movement. Because it thrives on the idea that social gender should exist. They acknowledge that there is a social difference between a man and a woman, that if you feel socially like a woman when you’re biologically male - that makes you a woman.

I think its misogynistic and confusing to label ‘woman’ and ‘man’ as a set of social roles/feelings/identity. It implies people who don’t conform to those ideas are no longer women/men, it implies that female oppression was based from an identity rather than our biology. It also implies that women and men are perfect social fits to their gender and that if you don’t match that, or aren’t comfortable with that, you’re non binary. Like what 😭 Especially when the ‘gender role’ of women is insulting and degrading NO woman feels fully comfortable being expected to act that way.

As a gender abolitionist I genuinely believe society would be better off without the idea of social gender. That man/woman refers to someone’s biology but you can still act/dress/present as however you want. Nothing would be considered masculine or feminine such as fashion, personality traits etc. And we can all just live freely without expectations to fit into a social role. In a gender abolitionist society, no one would be transgender, because gender would only refer to biology. Just as someone cannot be trans blue eyed, or trans racial. Instead, you could still present however you want, but you would not refer to yourself as ‘woman/man’ because you look or act a certain way.

Hope that all makes sense and lmk if you have any more questions!

[enarei]

I'm sorry, but I don't believe you have even a rudimentary grasp on feminist theory, and could benefit from an education.

maybe you're right, and you're welcome to educate me (like, genuinely, I would probably enjoy that). I would appreciate if you were a bit more specific with what of what I've said makes you think that, because I believe the gist of my argument is very important if not to feminism broadly, to a model of feminism that is capable of incorporating trans women without stabbing them in the back within its critique of patriarchy —namely that there isn't one intrinsic, "natural" female/woman identity or trait that invites misogyny, it's a self-reifying set of relations which creates the necessity for the concept of "womanhood" to exist, performing a woman's roles and being perceived as a woman is what makes women, women, and that includes trans women, there's little more to it than that

if you wanna set yourself apart from everyone and say you're actually a real woman, because you say you are, and dissect the difference from the transfem that doesn't necessarily think of their relation to gender through the same exclusive binary lens, however that manifests in practice, whichever labels and pronouns they choose to use, then do so, but I think you'll find that gets us no closer to examining why we are actually oppressed and the ideas we have to disseminate to counter that, because that line, while important for self-actualization, isn't actually very relevant to how we're perceived, which is often the most important aspect of how we're treated by society. while we can affirm our personal identity in relationships that are both recurring and premised on mutual respect, we don't get that privilege most of the time, and people's understanding of us are based on assumptions.

it does not matter then that you ID as a woman and the other person doesn't if you never get the opportunity to say that, it's completely irrelevant. if you are both read as <genderweird person dressed like a woman & male voice>, you're both legitimate targets for modes of violence for people associated with the words "tranny faggot".

I also find this very disingenuous because it ignores that passing, presenting as our preferred gender, isn't always a possibility, likewise, the implication that "men" by necessity can't be discriminated for gender non-conformity under exactly the same rules as non-passing trans women is completely arbitrary. you don't know how other people are being read, you don't know if they're being read as a gay man or a tranny trying to hide the fact they're tranny, or something in between, how okay the interviewer is with either and where do they draw the line. you simply don't know that! we could run the same thought experiment where a trans woman is boymoding for a job interview, wearing a binder to hide her tits (something I've done countless times), using her deadname and not displaying any signs of femininity, and she gets the job and the "man" who has a panty wearing kink and maybe also presents a lot more overtly effeminate in public doesn't, because the interviewer thought she was less of a faggot.

even if the "man" may have an easier time concealing what you would call a "fetish" at work, something you can't really distinguish from a normal aspect of a person's gender expression without a degree of moralism, are trans women that are not always out, or hide their transness at their job, not subjected to transmisogyny, are they not deserving of calling themselves trans women? should we shun them and lump them with "chasers" because they are not baring their femininity full time and being pummeled for that constantly? like, where do you draw the line? and I'm not saying the guy who likes to wear his wife's skirt while she pegs him and is otherwise a massive homophobe the rest of the time gets it like you or me, but I think it's pretty obtuse to pretend the line between "binary trans woman" and "non-trans CAMAB person who cross-dresses; whose oppression should be understood under the framing of transmisogyny", can only be measured by those two points.

#gender

[transgressivegirlification]

sorta. learning how to separate my gender from how other people perceive and treat me. that and separating my gender identity from gender performance and the idea that i have to DO anything or have any specific trait to be a woman

i dunno. if gender describes your relationship to society and your relationship to your body and sex characteristics, then there is an expectation to perform specific roles based on your relationship to your body, which is pretty wierd and we could probably do without that. so, i guess in that sense, im a gender abolitionist

i don’t consider myself a woman because i was assigned female at birth, i consider myself a woman because it describes my relationship to my body. i don’t consider my (de)transition a return because i don’t remember what it was like to live as someone who was perceived as a girl and i’ve never been perceived as a woman, just a feminine trans person (and only online, offline i’m treated as an autistic cis man) so i’m having to figure out what my womanhood means to me for the first time instead of having it just given to me or something i had at some nebulous ~before~

but it’s. i don’t think being a woman means you have to be feminine in any meaning of the word. i don’t think i have to be seen as a woman to be one. i don’t even think i have to dislike masculine terms being used for me. i also don’t think that not conforming to the expected presentations of my gender makes me nonbinary. (nb people are chill i am just tired of being degendered in trans* spaces and having people making a big deal over my gender/pronouns because i don’t “look like” my gender)

i’m just a woman with a deep voice and body hair and broad shoulders and facial hair and an adam’s apple and a strong brow. i’m just a woman that wears clothing made for men and who wears binders instead of bras most of the time. i’m just a woman who wears makeup only once or twice a year and who doesn’t do anything centered around anti-aging. none of that makes me less of a woman, it just makes me less feminine which is fine

femininity is nice but a lot of it is either based on making women more consumable to men or just isn’t ideal for a construction worker. like. i love lolita fashion but it is not remotely osha approved. i can barely get away with tying my jacket around my waist lmafo

and i mean. i like men. 90% of my coworkers are men and i generally fuck with them. i’m also promised to a man who is my priority in life.

but at the same time, i’m not going to go out of my way to be appealing to men or even think about it in my day to day life because i’m a person who enjoys men, not a perfume ad. yeah i dress up for dates and enjoy when my promised finds me attractive but being desirable isn’t the same as being consumable. when i perform femininity for my promised, he enjoys the show but sees me as an actor instead of a character if that makes sense?

i dunno. i love being feminine in over the top ways that make me feel powerful and confident but it’s… a lot to do outside of the context of conventions (shout out to conventions for giving me a way to explore new presentations in public without being afraid of getting hate crimed fr)

i guess for me it feels wierd to be a woman almost exclusively attracted to men because so much of how people talk about wlm is centered around the man’s attraction to the woman or the woman making herself attractive to the man when i center myself in my attraction to men. i generally don’t think about making myself attractive to a man i’m not actively going on a date with, i think about what i want to do to him and what he could do for me. yeah it’s a little selfish but nobody’s complained yet B;)

tl;dr: i’m still a woman when i fulfill male stereotypes. femininity as a way to feel powerful, pretty, and/or desirable is nice. femininity as a set of rules pushed on women for the purpose of centering men’s consumption and dehumanization of women in their expression of feminine womanhood is shitty

#pro trans detrans #gender ramblings #diva speaks

[lovechaosdragon]

Thoughts On Writing Male Yanderes

Many character traits aren't "owned" by any particular gender. This being said, our gender often informs how we explore life, and the ways we were raised. The beginnings of the yandere tropes were based off of women taking to heart the "Yamato Nadeshiko" trope, and going insane over it's pressures. If you want masculinity to play a role in the story, try to address how masculinity might shape the character, like about the types of pressures men might face, and how they handle them.

In some ways, it will give them power & privileges, but in other ways, being a man might disadvantage them. An example being men often don't really have their gender to fall back on in the way a woman might for their abuse of the darling (depending on the abuse obviously). Men are often seen more as protectors than women are, so that might be an aspect to play with. Depending on how your society works will also depend on how gender fits with your darling. Is this a time where men were thought to be "uncontrollable" in their urges, or is this more a more modern time with more feminist ideals? Is your yandere gay, and if so, how does society see being gay? Is your yandere trans, and if so, how does society view being trans? Let some of these expectations also frame how your darling sees the world. Even in historical settings women were taught some ways to avoid abusive men, granted they had decent people around them, if they didn't, then maybe the darling might have patriarchy's expectations in them as well. Even now, many women have at least some of patriarchy's toxic teachings in us. Let that dynamic of how the darling sees the yandere's behavior & their expectations of gender play off the yandere's expectations of gender & the darling's behavior. Is the yandere gender conforming or not? How does that play into how he interacts with people? Is he a different person with the darling than he is with other people? If so, why does he do that?

One interesting thing is that men are often taught to be less social than women, so often this is why men can sometimes expect a lot of emotional labor from their partners, because they don't have another outlet. This could be interesting to explore in a yandere story.

Many of these questions are also interesting character questions on their own, and may answer a lot. Gender often shouldn't be the be all, end all, but it is good to note it as a factor.

#writing yanderes #yandere analysis #analysis #yandere #male yandere #yandere boy #yandere male

[reaperkaneki]

ok here are my Thoughts on gin noto

under cut bc it got long lol

first off, he is very strong representation. as in, i think this might be the platonic ideal of a transmasc character. which has its good points and bad.

sweet-p’s arc was rooted in some obviously transphobic jokes/points/etc but at its core, her arc felt well-intentioned and overall she was definitely portrayed as one of the most sympathetic of the musicians (who are antagonists but certainly not outright villains, which the musician route makes abundantly clear). she also is not, like, described as trans per se, mostly as a crossdresser who loves cute things and wishes she were a cute girl (so like, she’s trans) and honestly her arc is about self-image and body dysmorphia in general (weight and age and outside perception are all major factors). and that’s what sets her apart from gin, gin is very much about Gender Dysphoria And Conforming To Societal Gender Roles first and foremost.

unlike sweet-p’s writing, gin’s doesn’t have any overt flaws to point to, which is why i had to mull it over for a while to figure out what was missing, and i think it’s because it is very much aimed at a cis audience. the narrative itself is perfectly fine, it’s the meta-narrative that bothers me.

when gin confesses that irl, he was assigned female at birth and presents as female in his day-to-day life, and asks the player, does this change anything, there is a right answer and a wrong answer. the wrong answer is to tell him that you don’t care what gender he is, it doesn’t change anything at all; gin perceives this as a half-assed, dismissive response said without thinking and becomes upset and it locks you out of the rest of his character episodes. the correct answer is to tell him that you don’t know, you’re not sure. maybe it does change things between the two of you. gin feels that this is a understandable position to take, like, of course it might be a big deal, it certainly feels like a big deal to him!

and yes, to someone who hasn’t encountered a trans person before, that’s probably a reasonable response. to me, specifically, a fellow transmasc person, i think i sorta laughed at this part because, like, the only thing that would change if a coworker or friend or whatever told me that they were actually stealth trans this whole time (and that’s being generous bc gin is Not Slick lmfao the foreshadowing for him being trans is super obvious to anyone who knows) i’d be like cool! love that for you. etc etc. bc transgenderism is Normal to me.

but the game assumes You Are A Cis Person Who Isn’t Sure How To React To Trans People. the game doesn’t let you be trans. there’s not a nonbinary option, despite having a cyborg for an antagonist and, more egregiously, a canonically nonbinary character in your party. (i’d say pronouns, but that’s not quite the same in japanese.) not that i was expecting that to be possible, but it is a clear separation of gameplay and story that hinders roleplay (in an rpg where your character’s backstory is almost completely undefined)!

this is not to say that gin is poorly written. like i said, he’s like the platonic ideal of representation. he’s easy to clock specifically because his experiences ring true; he’s always, always, always overcompensating and posturing “as a man”, he’s trying to conform to his own personal image of “what men do”, “how guy friendships work”, “what guys are interested in”. when asked why he gets along with women so well, he lies and says it’s because he has an, uh, older sister! so he’s spent a lot of time around women! he dresses trendy, but not too fashionably (because that’s feminine, he’s function over form allegedly), and the cut of his clothes is soooo. well. the silhouette is masculinizing, or at least androgynous, let’s say. he even wishes he were taller.

i’m pretty sure i’ve done most of those things. this is writing that either speaks from experience or understands the prompt and has done the goddamn research.

it is, however, very, VERY cool that he actually turns out to Not Be A Man, at least in the sense he’s always wanted to be. REALLY good nonbinary arc that i wish wasn’t constrained to, like, the last two character episodes. it’s the one interesting ‘twist’, and i love that it explains a lot of things about him! when he talks about working as a woman irl and busting his ass in heels, he sounds proud, even as he admits that presenting female always made him uncomfortable. and lo and behold, his catharsis effect sports a pair of gold heels! if he was just a hypermasculine trans man, that would be super uncomfortable, as if it were some sort of transphobic indicator of his ‘true self’ being feminine. but no, it’s because he’s hiding that aspect of himself. he repressed his masculine tendencies to conform to social norms, and then inadvertently did the same to his feminine side, but both are important. he likes the heels.

i also like that he’s bi and acknowledges that his relationships never worked out bc he hadn’t figured out his shit yet. it do be like that sometimes.

unfortunately, i think he’s also kind of boring? like, besides her wanting to be a cute girl, sweet-p had other stuff going on, she had that boke/tsukkomi routine with stork, she had a genuine love for yume-kawaii (whereas while gin has many interests, a not-insignificant part of those interests is male posturing), she was even a musician! i understand that gin’s blandness is On Purpose because he dislikes rocking the boat (but he hates posers, which was a genuinely interesting reaction from him that didn’t feature as strongly in his arc as i wanted. even kiriko comments on it), but doesn’t change the fact that he ain’t weird enough! can’t even be an only sane man bc he goes along with everyone’s bs lol

anyway gin is cool and well-written as a trans character but missing a bit otherwise. i’d still definitely love to hang out and get beef bowls and boba with him :)

#im tired as shit from work so like this is rambly nonsense rather than well-written analysis #but yeah. caligula effect good #caligula effect 2 spoilers #i guess. its below a read more. #this post is for like No one but me and janelle #niche jrpgs my beloved…. niche hrpgs can save me i know it

[hindahoney]

Hey, I go to a combined Liberal and Reform shul and wanted to debunk some of those misconceptions on your post.

Being Reform/Liberal is not at all, even slightly, about level of observance. We have many, many men in kippot and tzitzit with payot who come to our synagogue to pray every single week. We wear kippot out and about in town, we wear Magen David proudly. We sing our prayers with all of the life and vigour of any Jews. Many of the people who pray with us also attend classes with the rabbi twice per week, in their own free time. I personally study Talmud and biblical Hebrew with my Reform rabbi every week. We have people who keep kosher extremely strictly, more than people who don't. Jewish history is hugely important to us and we honour our ancestors every single day.

Reform Judaism is just about having slightly different values to Orthodox. In shul, we are taught that the difference between us and Orthodox Jews is that Reform Judaism adapts expectations of Jewish people to be reasonable for living in the modern world, whereas Orthodox values tradition and keeping things the exact same way they have been for thousands of years. The rules about electricity use on Shabbat are loosened to allow people with hearing aids to be spoken to, to allow powered wheelchair users to leave their homes, to make sure every Jew has the opportunity to get in touch with their emergency contacts. There is no "better" or "worse" denomination, only ones that fit each individual Jew best, if any.

We still abide by kosher and the teachings of Torah, but we do not place pressure on other Jews to do the same. We do not shun or scold others for not abiding by these laws, and are open-minded to the possibility that they have very good reasons for not doing so.

We adapt some traditional ceremonies, such as holding a B'nei Mitzvah for non-binary children, and adapting conversion ceremonies for trans and non-binary adults. Jewish law is much more de-gendered in a Reform setting, with the same expectations and freedoms afforded to both men and women. Many of us choose to keep to traditional gendered roles and expressions, but queer Jews are celebrated even though they are different.

We are absolutely not Jewish "in name alone". A Jew is a Jew is a Jew. Some of us are very very religious and frum, others are not, but every Jew is always welcome at our shul, because this is a community space that does not ask any Jew to 'prove' they are Jewish enough to join in with our customs, and pray with us during service.

I am disabled and queer, and due to my circumstances I must choose how to live my life Jewishly in a way that suits me. I would not be able to do nearly as many mitzvot if I tried to meet Orthodox standards -- because my needs for care and assistance would break the laws of shabbat, and I could not live up to gendered Orthodox standards very easily as a non-binary person. This is why I choose to pray at a Reform/Liberal synagogue instead of an Orthodox one -- I am more able to do mitzvot in a Reform/Liberal context. While I know there are many Orthodox synagogues that would accept me anyway, it's always a case of trying to work out which congregations I can feasibly become part of, whereas with Reform Judaism I know that I will almost never find any difficulty or judgement.

Being Reform is just another way of practicing Judaism. It isn't lesser, and it isn't less serious, or less religious, or less frum. Really, we are just like you. I think the world would be better with less segregation between denominations. Anti-Orthodox sentiment makes me sad, but I very rarely encounter Orthodox Jews who respect Reform Judaism for what it is. A lot of us don't feel safe in Orthodox synagogues because we are shunned there.

I understand feeling more comfortable in a reform shul because of their gender or sexual identity. Though it has changed pretty drastically in the past few decades and there are many more groups to help gender non conforming and queer people feel more comfortable in orthodox spaces, there are still many who hold strongly to gendered traditions.

However, I need to point out that orthodox Jews do still wear hearing aids and use motorized wheelchairs and pacemakers. If it is a medical necessity it is permitted. In any case, I do not forsee anyone judging someone else for using a medical device on Shabbat.

Thank you for sharing. I do feel like this cleared things up for me!

#ask Hinda

[the-feminist-philosopher]

One argument against the existence of trans people is that they just reinforce the gender/sex binary. Rad fems will agree with the premise that a binary is harmful and then say, "Okay, but trans people uphold the exact thing you say you're in opposition to."

Not all trans people pursue hormones, surgery, or a binary identity. Some of them will go through waves of transition and detransition, sometimes due to health issues unrelated to their transition (like a cancer diagnosis or something). Some of them will never transition, medically, at all. For some, it's just a matter of a new name and pronouns. For others, it's also presentation like feeling more comfortable in a t-shirt and jeans as opposed to, say, a dress. A lot of it is personal preference. And most- and I'd say nearly all- understand that they're navigating a very colonizing system and have an awareness of the need to decolonize. They are more than willing to admit that misogyny informs transphobia, and that transphobia is weaponized to be misogynistic.

Not all of trans people elevate traditional masculinity or femininity. They especially are not elevating what is traditionally required of the sex they were assigned at birth. There's nothing inherently wrong with elaborate and fancy and stunning forms of dress and presentation or even cosmetics. The issue is the way they're gendered; ascribed as "requirements" based on someone's reproductive capacity, and how conformity to these sex-based requirements are rewarded while sex nonconformity is punished.

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I do feel it important to note that we don't see nearly the same critiques or vitriol around cis men wearing nail-polish or lipstick or dresses; things the patriarchy tells us is "traditional" femininity. Do patriarchal institutions clown men who do these things as "not real men?" Yes. May they face violence if someone associates a man wearing contour with that man being homosexual? Yes. Do they face the same violence and demonization that cis women or trans women or trans men face for stepping outside the bounds of what the patriarchy ascribes is a "correct" form of presentation? No. Rad femmes typically agree with me on that. They'll point out how people praise Harry Styles for "challenging gender roles" while women and people assigned female at birth who do not cater to the gender/sex binary are literally being murdered. Typically, we all agree on this point.

We are far more willing to criticise women for the individual decisions they make in their life than the corporations that are trying to sell them on sex and beauty. A woman is not a "handmaiden" because she's wearing 5" pumps, nor is she inherently misogynistic or "setting feminism back." The way women- cis and trans- are treated for displaying what society considers "feminine" presentation is more revealing of society's assumptions about the "feminine" being inferior than a trans woman getting her nails done. This idea that anything or everything society considers "feminine" is really just a sexual fetish and internalized misogyny is essentially making the case that any feminine self-expression has no worth beyond the extent to which it can be sexualized or beyond the desire they can provide others. A woman wearing makeup for a job interview is not self-objectification, nor is it violating the bodies of all women. (See: the female body is socially constructed as the public property of women.)

And we can have a conversation about how the patriarchy seeks to construct "woman" as a political category to be a sex object to be fucked. But we don't challenge this construction of women as "fucked" by agreeing with the assumption that anything we associate with women is sexual. There's nothing inherently "feminine" about what society considers "feminine," nor is there something inherently wrong with embracing it for self-expression. The issue comes from the way we- society- make it a requirement of one single sex for the (supposed) desires another sex.

Ultimately, we are more willing to police and scrutinize the decisions women make than the decisions men make or the way capitalism sells us on gender. And this social scrutiny of women for just existing in the society they were born into opens up every last choice a woman makes to fault-finding and chastisement. We hold women to a double standard we don't hold men. There's no meninist movement that is telling men they're essentially upholding the ideals which oppress them simply by being men. There's no anti-meninist corporation telling men that, actually, you need to commodify your body and buy, buy, buy because your worth is tied to whether a woman desires you. We are blaming women for predatory capitalism. We are blaming them for existing in the society they were born into.

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There's also an irony in the fact rad fem groups laud sex nonconformity while insisting trans people conform on the basis of their sex and embracing transphobic policies that oft require the acknowledgement of a cis identity. Transphobic policies constantly inspect people for signs of nonconformity from their sex-assigned social prescriptions, creating a system where the only way to stay safe from surveillance or suspicion is to present as the most stereotypical version of your assigned sex at all times. Meanwhile common ideas about femininity in rad fem circles (ex: wearing a dress while identifying as a woman is anti-feminist because it elevates and enforces binary and traditional gender roles) encourage a system where women are inspected for signs of gender-conformity and whether they're engaging in "feminist action" so according to the rad fem group. This is never to say that we should go uncritically through the world. We must absolutely be critical of what part we play in the patriarchal system. This is just to say that women, especially sex-nonconforming cis women, are placed into this double bind. The rad fems around them want them to be not like other girls at the same time they want them to be exactly like other girls, and clearly a girl too.

“Transphobic policies may be instituted on the grounds of ‘protecting women,’ but in practice, all they do is institute a hellish panopticon where everyone is constantly inspected for signs of gender nonconformity, and where the only way to stay safe… is to present as the absolute most stereotypical version of your assigned sex at all times.” -Jude Ellison S. Doyle

I have always advocated for looking at things through impact. Do you go to a school that requires certain people of certain anatomy to wear pants while others must wear skirts? What impact does you refusing to wear what has been ascribed to you have on their system of gender differentiation? How does your action affect other women or girls?

Finally, I think it's important to note that male-female is not a binary, cis-trans is not a binary, man-woman is not a binary, homosexual-heterosexual is not a binary. Binaries are social constructions.

#txt #feminism

[wis-art]

Feel free to not publicly answer this it was gonna be part of my original ask but I was afraid of incorrectly gauging a reaction and coming off as creepy and parasocial or over investing and misinterpreting someone else’s artistic expression but tbh shaving and growing body and facial hair has stolen so much of my life I spend literally hours in the bathroom making sure not a single trace of it remains, I’m afraid of wearing shorts or going outside to do anything without doing all this prep and cutting myself until I’m crying and using so-and-so products not giving a shit if I get chemical burns as long as it goes away and I’m satisfied with my face/body, and I felt like I was being insane over it with my autism and shit being a factor cause I haven’t ever seen anyone bring up the relationship between gender dysphoria and shaving before

I'm sorry to hear all of this, it helped me a lot when i realized that I'm a transgender woman no matter how much facial or leg hair or chest hair i have, I'm not nonbinary, I'm just a woman who doesn't perfectly conform to the stereotypical gender roles and standards set by the society. And i try to apply the standards that i apply to other women to myself. I don't need to always have perfectly smooth and shaved legs or face to call myself woman, just like any cisgender or transgender woman.

I do experience tremendous dysphoria regarding my facial hair but i try to not let it stop me from being a baller and decided it is better for me to not injure my skin. I believe trans people should feel free as their right gender, while having features of the biological sex they were born into. After all i didn't escape one uncomfortable social mold just to transition into the other equally uncomfortable mold. There is nothing wrong with your facial hair and your body hair, and nobody should expect you to get rid of it just to fit into the strict gender standards of a woman, there's also nothing wrong with choosing to shape yourself into that mold if it feels right and comfortable.

Unfortunately I cannot relate to having autism and I'm not sure can i give any advice regarding that, i myself suffer from adhd, but i hope my experience and world view means something to you, take care of yourself and your skin.

#transgender #ask #mallowmaenad #lgbt

[uncloseted]

Hi Christina!! I know of conservative and democrat but I don’t know where my own political beliefs lay. I’m a mix of both red and blue pill. I believe in gun bans, free world class health care (im from Australia so I’ve always had that and feel so sorry for u guys that u don’t have it), I believe in welfare and upping the welfare so people can actually live of it, upping the minimum wage, helping students and those less fortunate. But I also believe in only two genders, not confusing children about genders in school, and I think people shouldn’t be allowed to transition to another gender as I believe they are severely mentally ill, and no happy person would ever want to change sex. I’m not religious btw. Idk what to call myself politically

In the US we would generally call that a moderate or someone who is center-left? You might also describe it as being socially conservative but economically liberal.

But (and my apologies for hijacking this ask, but if you've been around here for any amount of time, you knew this was coming) I want to talk a little bit about your position on the trans community. Why does maintaining a binary set of genders matter so much to you that it excludes trans people from your goal of "helping the less fortunate"? What are you afraid will happen if trans people are allowed to live the lives that are authentic to them? How are you imagining that will impact your life, and why are you so scared of that impact that you feel like it needs to be banned entirely?

Trans people aren't "severely mentally ill". They're just people who don't relate to the biopsychosocial gender role that they were assigned at birth. Trans, gender non-conforming, and intersex people have always existed. Many cultures have historically recognized more than two genders. Even within Western culture, we recognize lots of different gender expressions amongst cis people- girls can be tomboys or girly girls, women can be femme or butch, people can be androgynous... for a while, "metrosexual" was even a term for men who put effort into their appearance. All of those concepts are just gender expressions. The line at which they go from being "cis" to "trans" really just depends on culture and the person's perception of their own experience.

While there isn't a lot of research on why some people are trans and some aren't, but the research we do have seems to suggest that trans people are just born that way. It seems that being trans is, in part, genetic, and that trans people's brain structures are (on average) more similar to the brain structures of other people of the gender they identify as, rather than the gender they were assigned at birth. Being trans is not a "severe mental illness". It's just a different way of existing in the world. But even if it were a "severe mental illness" (which, again, it is not), don't mentally ill people have the right to seek treatment that will alleviate their suffering? Because that's what transitioning does. It alleviates suffering and discomfort associated with conforming to gender roles that don't align with a person's gender identity. You're right that very few people who are happy would undergo a medical transition to change their body. But the root of that unhappiness isn't mental illness. The root of that unhappiness is feeling like you don't belong in the body you have or the gender role that you've been given. And so transitioning alleviates that unhappiness.

And there's scientific data to back this idea up. Per the American Psychiatric Association, transgender individuals who transition experience long-term mental health benefits, including reduced anxiety, depression, and suicidality. And, per the Stanford University School of Medicine, trans people who start their transition as teenagers have better mental health than those who start their transition as adults. If you want trans people to "recover" from the "severe mental illness" you perceive them as having... transitioning is the way to let them do that.

But even if you don't care at all about trans people's health and wellbeing (and let's be real, I'm not convinced that you do), why should that mean that transitioning "shouldn't be allowed"? We let adults make all sorts of decisions about their bodies that they may regret down the line. For example, cis women are allowed to get boob jobs- gender affirming care within itself- regardless of whether or not they might regret it in the future. Cis women are allowed to take hormones in order to alter their menstrual cycle - often starting when they're in their teens- and we accept that they understand the long-term risks and benefits to their health that come with that choice. Why should trans people's choices about their bodies be any different? They're making informed decisions about the medical care they (and their doctors!) think will benefit them. Who are you to take that decision away from them?

There's a lot more I can say here and a lot of studies I can cite. I can tell you that every major U.S. medical and mental health organization, including the American Medical Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, and the American Psychological Association, plus global health organizations including the Endocrine Society, the Pediatric Endocrine Society, the Society for Adolescent Health and Medicine, and the World Medical Association, and the World Health organization support access to age-appropriate, individualized medical transition for transgender youth and adults. The Australian Psychological Society is also included in that group, in case you were curious. I can tell you that the evaluations that trans people undergo in order to receive gender affirming care are extensive, even moreso for trans children. I can walk you through the reasoning behind introducing discussions of gender into classrooms early, and explain that children often have an understanding of gender by the age of three. I can talk about how the points people bring up when talking about trans people are the same ones they used about gay people fifteen years ago, and the world didn't end when countries started legalizing gay marriage. But I don't know if any of that will make a difference, because the reaction people have to trans people isn't really based in fact (no matter how much people will try to insist that it is). It's based in emotion.

So instead, I want to wrap up by asking this. How do you know that you are the gender you are? What makes you feel like a man or a woman? Are those things innate, are they cultural, are they both? How would you feel if one day, everyone started calling you a name of the opposite gender (for example, Michael instead of Michelle or vice versa) and insisting that you adopt the social roles of the opposite gender? What if you were forced into activities that you don't enjoy, with people who aren't like you? That would suck, right? You'd probably want to do whatever you could to be seen the way you feel on the inside, right? That's all trans people really want- to be seen for who they are. You can think that they're mentally ill or cringe if you want (although I really hope you won't), but don't legislate away their ability to pursue their happiness, even if you don't get why they would want that.

If you're interested in learning about trans issues more in-depth, I highly recommend ContraPoints' channel. She does a really good job of discussing transphobia and gender critical ideas while still being incredibly entertaining and fun.

[coentinim]

A tip for worldbuilding architecture: look at what materials are available nearby, and then pick a style on really like. As for matriarchies, they are not incompatible with agriculture, but often, what comes out in terms of economical structures is either warring cultures or sea-farring cultures. Both imply that the men would be gone for a good part of the year, and thus would be physically unable to command any wife. It is also not incompatible with slavery, although, not chattle slavery. For fantasy creatures, the structure would be more unique. If in the wider culture, there is a subculture that would be at frequent risk of mob violence, than, the family structure would most likely be patriarcal, so as to protect the women, unless the females are considerably stronger in brute force than males.

I have decided not to make a matriarchy in the world I planned to, since it would kind of ruin the conflict as the male and female protagonist must stand on equal political grounds. He is even slightly advantageous, but it's because he's from a higher noble family than her (they're distantly related). They basically fight for power and battle past traumas, and I wanted to eliminate any sexism that would additionally limit my (very gender non-conforming and crazy) female protag. The male protagonist's family is patriarchal in the sense that the father happens to be the head of the house, but both men and women can inherit and pass on the name, it all depends on age first and skill second.

For architecture style, I was going to base it on Polish/middle-European in general architecture since I rarely see that in fiction unless the story is set in Germany. But I think the land of my female main character is being actively colonized so I have yet to decide how it affects her surroundings. It isn't a metaphor for anything historical since she's white, it's just important for the backstory.

But turns out I already had a matriarchal world without thinking about it much???

I have a whole culture made up inspired by Mesopotamia with some Mexica culture mixed in because why not, and they do live off of the sea and are a matriarchy! I didn't know that it goes along before, it's just that the idea that sparked this was me at 12 playing with dolls and I had like 15 girls and 2 boys so, no room for the king. Silly inspiration is the best. Also sea foraging went along with the type of magic I wanted to include. It's for a different set of OCs though, and the matriarchy is... a female monarch who indulges too much in life and basically enslaves pariahs of her land. The main OC's mom became one of those "mandatory Palace workers" after being accused of witchcraft against the monarch (she's guilty lol). So yeah it's a whole other mess I have yet to even draw people for. Brute force matters there so the guards and physical workers are mostly male, but there are a few people who practice magic, and they are mostly in power, but not always. There's a whole order of women who worship the goddess of femininity, and it's not unheard of that if a man does something to his wife or kids, they curse him or outright kill him. I mean, the Mexica/Aztec inspiration extends to human sacrifice, and they need to please the goddess who in mythology ate her husband so he could ascend to paradise... fictional mythology, idk if that was a thing in any mythology. Zeus ate his ex wife Temis I think, though??

Also the order can accept trans women (in today's understanding they'd be trans women, for them it was different, they don't really have the concept of gender at ALL and gender/sex based roles are vague and loose), if they go through a full transition (castration and a lot of weird potions that would have little to no physical effect but a lot of spiritual).

There are other temples and gods, but I don't think there's any with male-only worhippers.

#answer☆ #my ocs <3

[burningtheroots]

Hi, same anon from the long ass ask I sent you. Thank you for responding kindly to my message :) what you said makes a lot of sense and I do agree with many of your points. I do think every movement has its ups and downs.

I suppose (and these are just my personal thoughts!) I feel the way about radical feminism the way I do is because of the way I see a lot of radical feminists talk. I see posts about how all men are inherently evil, how every transwomen is being trans for the sake of preying on women. And inarguably, people like those DO exist, but they are not the majority. Yet when I go through the radfem tag, I see abundant posts like those...so that's why I got the impression that the movement is about degrading these people on a fundamental and individualist base, and not about critiquing patriarchy or misogyny (at least, that the thought behind critiquing misogyny was directly tied to hating all men/invalidating trans people.) I guess, in that way, the way you feel about the trans movement is how I feel about radical feminism, only reversed(?) The ideology itself, if it is as you presented it, sounds understandable. But I've only ever seen radfems who were so hateful to the point I had to imagine it was spurred by trauma, as that is how I acted when I was traumatized, and it made me deeply unhappy with life as I viewed everything negatively. (I acknowledge that these sort of posts probably weren't meant to be about all men or all trans people at times, but when you don't clarify such, it's extremely hard for an outsider to tell.)

Anyway, the point of sending this follow-up is to say thank you for listening and thank you for giving me your view. I can't say I subscribe to either "side" so-to-speak. I want to fight for transgender rights and I want to fight for female sex rights. I want to fight against bigotry towards trans people and I want to fight against misogyny/patriarchy, and I believe both these things can co-exist. Not saying you don't believe so either! Maybe you do or don't, I'm just giving my own perspective. I admit I'm obviously not all-knowledgeable, so even I don't know what the best course of action is to ensure everybody has proper rights and visibility. But I keep learning, I just want everyone to be happy & to be them & to not be harmed for it by the law or society. It seems unrealistic now and we have to fight for that sort of thing, but I'm going to try my best to hear everyone out and support everyone the best I can. I just want everyone to have a right to their own body, identity, and protections of their sex and identity.

I hope you have a good day!

Hey!! I planned to reply earlier this time but turns out I didn’t. xD

I can‘t judge your personal experiences, I haven’t seen the posts you‘re describing, or I interpret them differently than you do. Which is fine.

As for the transgender aspect, I don’t think that someone is inherently predatory for being trans — in fact, I acknowledge dysphoria as the serious mental health condition it is. Being a gender critical radfem, however, means that I/we believe that no man, regardless of his "gender" identity, should get access to spaces and categories (e.g. in sports or at award shows) which are reserved for women, and on the basis of their sex & the discrimination and violence they face due to their sex. Our "identity" isn‘t a set of feelings, it‘s an objective, biological reality, and we shouldn’t have to include members of our oppressor class in it.

I think you can present yourself however you like without saying that it makes you a woman when you‘re not, and without reinforcing feminine stereotypes. Just be yourself and call it individuality.

Of course, men who don’t conform to patriarchy gender roles are at risk of being violated by other men, which is why I think there should be a third option (bathrooms, sports etc.) if need be — they still don’t get to enter women‘s spaces though.

As for men as such, my empathy is pretty low. Not every single man on earth is a predator, but almost all of them are complicit in misogyny, and every single one benefits from it. For example, the VAST majority of men consumes pornography, and the rest is at least complicit for the most part, which says a lot about the average man. If the majority of men wasn’t part of the problem, the world would look a lot differently — I have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to misogynistic men, even if it‘s only 0.0001%.

Most of them are like "if they‘re nice to me, it‘s okay", "if I don’t actively participate, it‘s not my problem" or "yeah it‘s bad but they‘re my family/friends". It‘s on men to hold each other accountable and fight tooth & nail when misogyny pops up even when it‘s inconvenient for them personally. I can’t force them to do that, but I can judge them when they don‘t.

I want equality, but above all, I want women & girls to be fully liberated and men to be unable to hurt women & girls ever again. They can be allies, or they can be enemies. No inbetween.

Anyways, thanks for your message. :)

#women deserve better #radfem #radblr #radical feminism #feminism #radfems do touch #radfems do interact #radfems please touch #womens rights #sex based rights #misogyny #kind anon