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ohmyeyesmyeyes · 5 months

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change my mind - ln4

summary: inspired by 1D's song of the same title - are we friends or are we more?

warnings: f!reader, hints at anxiety and insomnia, that vegas crash, angst, miscommunication (it gets solved dw), swearing, maybe a little bit of awkwardness, fluff. also feel like it drops off towards the end so i might have to come back and edit it at some point

word count: 9.7k

Since the crash it felt as though you’d been holding your breath. Right from when the camera on the straight seemed to jolt from an unexpected impact; on the way to the medical centre; in the car to the hospital. In fact, it only felt like you’d released that breath when Lando had given you the key to his hotel room and you’d shut it behind you.

Then, and only then, it felt like you could breathe.

Your head thudded against the door, the view of The Strip visible even from where you were stood – the neon lights were difficult to miss in the night, even more so when the entire room was still shrouded in darkness. You inhaled through your nose, ensuring to fill your lungs with some much needed air, before breathing it out through your mouth.

Your heart was still racing, something squeezing in your chest, and the exhaustion seemed to blanket you in that very moment, your brain constantly replaying the sounds and the mangled sight of his car. It seemed intent, however, on showing you flickers of his face as he’d climbed out of the Medical Car, trying not to wince at the ache in his bones as his Dad pressed him into a hug or as any part of him made contact with the hospital bed.

In all honesty, you didn’t think you’d ever been so anxious before. Those paralysing seconds where the only thing heard on the radio was static just seemed to have occurred so long ago, but that one moment seemed to cement the dread poured into your chest from then on.

Until now, until he’d given you the key to his room, until your eyes seemed to find all the McLaren paraphernalia and kit thrown carelessly over the back of chairs, on hooks, folded neatly inside a suitcase. Then all of the tension you’d harboured, not wanting to overstep or interrupt the medical exams just to ask him if he was okay, to hold his hand – you weren’t even sure if the latter was for his sake or yours.

You sighed, pushing yourself off the door and flicking on the lights. The mess was even worse in the light, and it wasn’t just limited to McLaren merch – there were undies and socks (it was unclear if they were clean, and you weren’t about to figure that out) scattered about, random pairings of t-shirts and joggers near the open suitcase, but not in it.

You rolled your eyes, putting your bag on the desk, and reaching for the TV remote to switch on the F1 TV channel as background noise. You didn’t really know why he’d given you his key, but you supposed it could have had something to do with the look on your face, or how your hands had been a little shaky, or how you’d barely spoken a word to him – not for lack of him trying or anything: Lando had actively tried to ask you questions, but with all the medical staff and McLaren members surrounding him, that task had been a little difficult.

And the first thing that had sprung to mind when you’d stepped into the lift up to his room was to run him a bath because after that rather bruising session, it was probably the best soother, but now that you’d been faced with this absolute calamity (you’d seen teenage boys’ rooms tidier than this), you weren’t entirely sure how you could not at least help him pack – to an extent.

Clearing the space off the floors and making sure he slept in a bed not made out of his own clothes was a start.

You shrugged off your jacket and hung it on the back of the door before stepping over some clothes and opening the bathroom door. You’d prepared to be met with more remnants of a burgled wardrobe, but contrary to the living space, there was nothing in the bathroom except a Spider-Man wash bag – potions and lotions neatly stacked inside.

There were some bottles in the corner shelf in the tub, the hotel logo branded on the front, and after running the tap until the water started to get warmer, you put in the plug and poured in some foam before returning back to the living space.

Your eyes immediately seemed to zip to the TV above the desk, Ted Kravitz wandering down the paddock talking to someone holding a framed photo of…Valterri’s bum. You blinked, automatically moving to the kettle and flicking the switch on.

Coffee was a must for you to stay awake longer.

And it was then that you started to pick up some clothing off his floor, collating the articles on top of his bed and you’d made it through three quarters of the entire pile when the buzzer for the lock on the door went off.

It was Lando. Decked in a jacket definitely not his own, with the way it seemed to dwarf him: the sleeves had been haphazardly pushed up his forearms, probably to make use of his hands, and the body of the jacket hung past his hips.

When he turned to face the room after locking the door behind him, his eyes seemed to stick first on the empty floor before trailing to you, something soft. He had bags under his eyes, and you could tell he’d been wearing headphones in the meeting because his hair had flattened slightly in the middle.

You didn’t move from where you’d sat, but from the unreadable expression on his face and the way he seemed to hesitate, it had you questioning whether he’d intended for you to still be in his room when he came back – but then he wouldn’t have given you the key, surely?

His lips twitched, and that second-guessing seemed to vanish completely at his lame attempt to smile for you – even though it was clearly forced with the entire whirlwind of the entire race, but there was a hint of authenticity because of the softness in his eyes, and without even meaning to, you felt a smile begin to creep on your own face.

At that, he seemed to gain movement in his legs, and made his way to the desk, head snapping up to the TV for a brief second, before shedding the jacket and putting his key down.

It was his sluggish movements that seemed to have that knot of anxiety punching its way through your stomach once more (it had dwindled somewhat when he’d walked through the door), and you inhaled somewhat sharply, “Are you okay?”

It was the first word you’d spoken out loud, and the roughness of your voice seemed to shock both of you, because you blinked, and he spun on his heel, eyebrows raising. You felt yourself wince, and you swallowed out of instinct–

“Just a bit achy–Can you stand up a second, I just–” He sighed, cutting himself off and stepping forwards.

You furrowed your brows, placing the shirt in your hands on the bed, and doing as he said, and it was barely a second when–

Oh.

He’d almost instantly tugged you into him, his arms settling across your shoulders, his chin tucked against your temple. He was warm and soft, even despite the hard ridges you knew existed under his fireproof shirt. Something felt off, though, and it was with a hurried hum that you realised you hadn’t reciprocated it.

It was a bit of a shock, being hugged by Lando so tightly, so close. Even more so because neither of you had ever really touched before; there’d been the odd shoulder brush when you’d been standing next to each other, the odd purposeful hand touch when one of you had slapped the other’s out of the way – but it had never been this: his chin touching your temple and his hands strong across your back and shoulders, pulling you as close to him as he could manage.

And then you seemed to regain sense in your arms because you automatically seemed to reach one arm across his back and the other slung across his waist, head tilting a little upwards to somewhat nestle itself into the crook of his neck.

If you were being honest, hugs weren’t usually your kind of thing, but you could tolerate (a tad of an understatement) it from Lando, even in his post-three-lap-stint and slight stench of sweat.

You stayed like that for a while, the knot in your chest easing gradually now you’d got your hands on him, and by the time he spoke up, disrupting the peace that you’d managed to find, you felt like you had to blink yourself awake, “Feel better now. I’m sorry I ruined your first race.” He mumbled, stomach tensing as he spoke.

You took a moment, “You didn’t ruin it–”

“I did.”

You pulled yourself away from him, but almost like he’d practised it, his hands clasped onto yours, preventing you from moving too far away, and he brought them up to around shoulder height between you both, his fingers twiddling with yours to distract himself, “Well, then, I forgive you.” You shrugged.

His hands were slightly rough to touch, and a little colder than yours, and you tried not to let the absentminded way he was playing with your hands cloud your brain because it was distracting, especially with the way his thumb seemed intent on stroking repetitive patterns across the back of your hand. Not to mention the way his eyes seemed to flit between your mouth and your eyes, as though he wanted to watch you speak and commit it to his memory, as you spoke.

It sent your blood thrumming a little.

He nodded slowly, as though he was digesting your words, but he took too long to say something else so you said the other thing that had been on the tip of your tongue, “I’d have lost interest in it anyway, ‘cos you weren’t driving.”

He smirked at that, “No you wouldn’t have.”

He was right – to an extent. The only positive about the Vegas track was that the drivers were racing in the Championship and sport you’d been following closely for years. But other than the investment in the championship, that was about where your interest in that specific race ended – with Lando’s crash.

“Well, I’d have rather gone with you than sit in your garage without you on-site.” You admitted, honesty dripping from every word, “Especially because I probably wouldn’t have known if you were okay if I stayed.”

He swallowed, your eyes unconsciously watching his throat bob, “How come?”

You pulled your joined hands down, shrugging and avoiding eye contact in order to actually gain the courage to say what had immediately come to mind.

Why was it so difficult for you to actually say what you felt? God forbid you actually want to let him know what he meant.

“You’re important and I care about you.” You rushed out, chewing the inside of your cheek nervously.

When he didn’t say anything you pulled your hands out of his and were about to change the entire conversation back to the bath you’d run him when his eyes crinkled out of the corner of your eyes. He had one of those cheeky smiles on his face, like he was aware he probably shouldn’t have been smiling like that at that moment in time, but thinking that only seemed to make him worse. And when you fully turned to look at him again, you were struck with the thought that you’d never known anyone to smile with their entire being like Lando Norris seemed to do unfailingly and everyday.

His happiness was just so infectious that it was part of the reason you liked him so much – but it also made you want to…protect it, you guessed. And when he stopped smiling earlier, after you’d been told to meet him in the medical centre, the world seemed to shake, because he was very rarely ever smiling.

He didn’t stop smiling, even when you looked straight at him, not impressed with his silence in the slightest and huffing to let him know.

“What?” You asked, one eyebrow raised and slightly self-conscious of what you were doing and wearing and what you probably looked like after the day you’d had.

He shrugged, shaking his head, smile never drooping one bit, “You care about me.”

It wasn’t a question, more so a statement of shock – repetition to drill it into his head.

You nodded, swallowing, slightly embarrassed at having to say it again, “Yeah.”

He nodded this time, pushing himself onto his tiptoes for a second, “I care about you too. You’re important to me.”

You won’t deny that your heart did a little skip at his words, or that your cheeks threatened to blossom with heat, or that hearing him say those words to you didn’t send your pulse spiralling a little out of control.

It was an unfamiliar feeling, being this vulnerable to someone not related to you. It was weird, but because of who it was and because of the circumstances, it felt oddly right.

“That’s nice.” You muttered, crossing your arms and avoiding looking at him.

You didn’t know what to do with yourself. It wasn’t as though he’d confessed his undying love for you or anything, but it was nice to hear. You knew where you stood with him.

“It is.” He agreed.

There was a beat of silence, and you took the liberty of changing the subject before it could get too awkward too quickly, “I ran you a hot bath, by the way. It felt like the right thing to do after….”

“Thank you.” His tone was a little sombre, but still every bit sincere. A cloud seemed to hang over the both of you for a second, “Sorry I didn’t get to talk to you when everything went–”

“You don’t have to keep apologising.” You breathed, sitting back down on the edge of the bed and resuming some folding to give yourself something to do.

“But I do–”

“Shut the fuck up.” You laughed a little, immediately dropping your expression to correct yourself, “With respect.”

Lando smiled a little at that, “If you insist, but–” You groaned, rolling your eyes, “I just want to check in and make sure I didn’t scare you, y’know, would you still come to another race?”

You blinked, “Course I would.”

There wasn’t really a doubt about it. The scare of the day had worn off in the span of your conversation, it was just that period of not knowing, and the fact that a TV screen didn’t do the cars justice in the speed. They went so much faster than you initially expected.

“Good.” Then, “Are you okay, though?”

“Yeah, it was just a lot, that’s all. Like, the impact, the broken car, then you were talking about everything that hurt but somehow you weren’t injured? I don’t know.” You sighed in resignation, “Do you ever get scared in the car?”

He seemed to think about it for a moment, “The day I get scared is the day I stop driving. Fear in the car makes you crazy.”

“What about when you lose control and you know you’re gonna crash out?”

You watched him closely as his throat bobbed and he slowly stepped over to the bathroom doorframe, leaning against it to look at you thoughtfully, “There’s definitely a moment where my heart sort of skips a beat, kind of like when you miss a step on the stairs, but the adrenalin doesn’t really let me get scared at that moment. It’s scary when I watch it back and realise if I’d have been a metre or so closer I might not be here. But I don’t like thinking about it if it doesn’t happen.”

You paused the folding, “When you said your heart does that skip, can you think or is your mind just blank?”

“Blank. It happens so fast. I know I have to move my hands, though, but I think that’s partly just instinct driven into us from when we were kids. I don’t really have to think about that, but–” He pulled a face, running a hand over his chest and huffing a laugh, “If it’s fast I’m thinking ‘fuck, this is gonna hurt’.”

That made you laugh.

Then he looked over his shoulder and you stood up, taking the hint.

“Wai–What’re you doing?” He stood up straight, watching as you made your way over to the desk to pick up your bag.

You pulled a face, pointing to the door, “I’m gonna go, and you’re gonna have a bath.”

“No.” He shook his head defiantly, walking over to you with a frown on his face.

You blinked, “Yes.”

“No.”

“I didn’t realise that when bathtime was mentioned that you’d stomp your foot and pout at me.” You smothered a smile behind your hand, eyes sparkling with amusement as Lando went to defend himself, only to realise that he had in fact reverted to pouting (as far as an adult man could when sulking).

“No.” He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I thought you might stay over tonight?”

You froze. Then promptly unfroze, “Why?”

“For a sleepover, I don’t know.” He shrugged.

“I don’t think—” You halted, taking in the way his face seemed to fall slightly, “Do you want me to stay?”

You didn’t not want to. You’d admit that much to yourself. The idea of sharing a bed with someone you trusted platonically and had a crush on was about as appealing as the guaranteed night of uninterrupted sleep (that didn’t run the risk of being crushed, someone breathing heavily in your ear, or someone talking in their sleep).

The corner of his mouth twitched as he tilted his head, “I’d like for you to stay, but I want you to say you want to stay because you want to, not just because I want you to and you feel obligated to stay.”

You took another step forward, about to say yes, before he interrupted again.

“Um–” His voice was slightly high in pitch, a sure sign that he’d begun to panic slightly, but before you let him succumb to (clear) disappointment (it did wonders for your ego) and potentially embarrass himself, you cut over him.

“I’m gonna go get my PJ’s–” he grinned, “and then I’ll come back here–” began taking off the legs of his racing suit, “for a sleepover, or whatever, sound good?”

“Sounds incredible, darling.” He winked, throwing you a charming smirk that had you standing in the doorway (for longer than what was probably deemed appropriate to gather yourself), and he turned into the bathroom, disappearing from sight.

***

Walking back into Lando’s room with wet hair, a clean face, the PJ’s you’d packed (not expecting a sleepover), your current book, and a hotel robe, all felt very intimate. It might have had something to do with the fact that you knew he’d also be freshly washed with wet hair and wearing his PJ’s and in bed — waiting for you.

And when you rounded the corner after buzzing yourself in, Lando was sitting against the headboard, one arm slung over the top of his head and his other hand clutching his phone. He must have been anticipating your arrival if the way he threw his phone further down the covers was any indication, and the way he smiled at you, dimples on show and everything, had you turning to avoid looking at him and hanging the robe over the back of the bathroom door.

The boy is too cute.

“Fancy seeing you here.” He grinned, unconsciously rubbing a palm down his arm and still maintaining a mischievous smile.

“It’s almost like we planned it.” You threw over your shoulder before climbing onto the bed.

He breathed a laugh, “Almost. Cute PJ’s, by the way.” He trailed his eyes meaningfully down your figure as you threw the duvet over yourself, getting comfy.

You’d not packed sexy PJ’s by any means. In fact, you hardly owned a proper pair of pyjamas, and rather just threw on a random t-shirt with whatever bottoms were comfiest and warmest, hence the fact you’d packed a pair of faux-boxer shorts and were wearing a Quadrant Bleach tee that Ria had given you a while ago.

“Rumour has it you couldn’t decide what merch to give me so Ria took it into her own hands.” You gestured to your shirt, smiling rather pointedly in his direction. He squirmed a little, and it was then, as he curled in on himself slightly, that the duvet fell around his torso from where it had been pulled right up to his chin to keep a draught out.

He was fucking shirtless. And when that seemed to register in your head and through your eyes, you were squirming. His pecs, bronze skin and moles were on view and you suddenly had no clue how to act.

Luckily for you, Lando seemed to have the same problem for whatever reason.

“Yeah. I had one of pretty much everything lined up for you, but it wouldn’t have been ‘financially viable’ apparently.”

Oh. You felt your brows shoot up in pleasant surprise.

“I didn’t know that.”

“That was the point.” Lando said, rather self-deprecating, “It looks good on you, though.”

A ‘thank you’ was on the tip of your tongue, but before it could slip out, your brain seemed to take on another direction, one much bolder than what was characteristic of you, “I don’t know, I think LN4 stuff’d look nicer.”

It shocked him as much as it shocked you — that much you could tell by the way that his eyebrows seemed to disappear under the damp curls that had hung across his forehead from where he’d clearly initially combed them backwards. His mouth seemed to drop a little, and his cheeks reddened.

But you barely had time to school your own face into one of confidence to fully own what you just said before he was spurting words out himself.

“Wanna test that theory?”

And he was climbing out of bed before you could even utter a word of protest.

You’d never been so thankful that he didn’t have eyes at the back of his head because when he took a step away from the bed, clad in nothing but black boxer briefs that clung almost maddeningly to his thighs, you practically had a heart attack. It was hard to rip your eyes away, if you were being honest.

But the very second he turned back to face you, throwing a long-sleeved tee in your direction, you somehow managed to look at him without even a smidge of blush on your face or without wearing an expression that assembled one of sheer awe.

Then you blinked and the t-shirt was hitting you in the face. It was a black 100 Race one.

A new one.

And because it hit you in the face the first thing you noticed was the smell. Now, Lando Norris was not a smelly person, at all. In fact, that t-shirt smelled so unfairly divine that you wanted to eat it. Melt it into a smoothie and drink it. In a normal way.

You had it in your hands and were looking pointedly at Lando for about seven seconds until he got the hint to turn around and close his eyes.

In return for his previous goodwill, you threw the Quadrant shirt at his back and climbed out of bed to assess it in the mirror. It was a slightly smaller fit than the other t-shirt, so it didn’t hang past your hips, or over your hands like you’d expected.

Oddly enough, it was almost a perfect fit.

Lando walked into the background of the mirror, catching your eye as he nodded appreciatively.

“Better than Bleach?” You asked, pushing the sleeves up to your elbow before climbing back under the covers.

His answer was him folding the Bleach t-shirt neatly and placing it on the desk.

“Way better.”

There wasn’t anything said for a while after that. Lando got back under the covers, snuggling down into his pillow and browsing through his phone, while you opened your book and kept your bedside light on to read for a while.

Until Lando seemingly couldn’t take the silence and turned his phone off, rolling towards the middle of the bed on his front and looking up at you.

He was content on letting you read for a while, eyes fluttering shut every now and again as though he was trying to fight sleep, when he muttered something under his breath.

“Sorry?” You bent your head, finishing reading the sentence before turning to see him blinking slowly, lashes kissing his cheeks as he rested his face against his elbow.

“Do you read every night?” He repeated, not in the least bit offended you weren’t paying him attention.

You hummed, nodding, slouching further into the mattress.

“How come?” He asked, fingers stretching to gently twiddle a small section of your hair before dropping it.

“I have trouble sleeping sometimes, and reading helps.”

“How?”

You shrugged, “It gets my brain to shut up.”

“Does anything else help?” He mumbled, eyebrow twitching.

You wanted to say yes. That some other things could help, but for one, you didn’t have the results to back up that claim, and two, you weren’t about to suggest trying it to Lando.

“I don’t think so.”

Lando hummed and didn’t say anything else, giving you the opportunity to switch off your bedside lamp, shrouding the whole room in darkness. Despite the coolness of the Vegas nights, the heat of another body under a duvet was enough to send your skin tingling with goosebumps and bury yourself deeper under the covers.

A gentle tugging on your hair once you’d settled was what had your eyes opening.

You hadn’t really been trying to sleep, per se, but Lando hadn’t so much as moved a muscle since you’d switched off the light, and his silence had you assuming he’d been trying to sleep, at least until his fingers had delicately begun twisting your damp hair.

If you hadn’t found it so shocking, it would have been soothing.

It took a while for your eyes to adjust, but once they did, all you could make out was the faint outline of Lando’s head and the gleam of his eyes from the light from The Strip.

Your eyes immediately scrunched shut, unable to tell if he thought you were asleep.

Then—“pretty” he breathed, your heart stuttering wildly in your chest.

He thought you were sleeping.

And he stopped twirling your hair, nestling his cheek into the pillow.

***

You woke up early and with Lando’s arm slung lazily across your waist, one of his legs stuck across yours. You froze momentarily, not having any recollection of exactly when you’d both ended up with him half draped over you, but considering you couldn’t remember much after hearing his whisper, you assumed you must have just gone right to sleep.

Which meant this happened in the night.

You tilted your head fractionally, eyes slipping over to where Lando was now on his stomach, cheek squished right into the pillow and a crease between his brows.

And then that short moment was interrupted by something uncomfortably occurring in your chest.

Your free hand (the other was sandwiched between your hip and Lando’s, nicely toasty of you did say so yourself) blindly reached for your bedside table, scrabbling at an uncomfortable angle until you found your phone. It took a while to manage to slide it across the wood for you to pick it up, and you groaned at the time displayed on the screen.

08:31.

You didn’t need to leave for the airport for another twelve hours, and had already mostly packed in your room. The only issue apart from your current predicament was the rumbling of your stomach, prompting some encouragement to get out of bed.

Which you absolutely did not want to do.

It was warm and you were being cuddled by a sleepy Lando, you weren’t about to risk waking him up. Even though it was your first race, you knew how exhausted he usually was the day after.

So you opted for scrolling on your phone, not before removing your hand from between you both and instead using it to hold the forearm he’d thrown over your waist.

The hotel corridors started to get a little noisier, doors shutting and opening, footsteps thumping, at around half nine/ten o’clock.

It must have been the neighbouring slam of the door that had Lando jolting awake — jumping as though he’d been thrown down the stairs in a dream. You stifled a laugh, trying not to smile at his rapid blinking, until his eyes settled on you, brows accusatory when he realised you were on the brink of laughing at him.

He groaned, slamming his face back onto the pillow and yawning, his arm briefly tensing as he stretched.

“How long have you been awake?” He mumbled, tilting his head so as to not muffle his words against the pillow.

“About an hour.”

He frowned, removing his arm from your hold and flipping himself onto his back, yawning, “How come you didn’t wake me up?”

You blinked, “Because it was half eight and you were asleep.”

He nodded, scratching the back of his head, “You hungry?”

“Yeah. You want to get breakfast downstairs, or–”

“Room service is good with me.”

Lando turned to hide his smile as he reached for the phone. Selfishly he wanted to stay in bed longer – the outside world was chilly – and there was the added bonus that you were there. Obviously he’d want more time with just the two of you, because outside this room, you guys barely got time for a conversation without being interrupted.

That was excluding the scheduled takeaways you both had every time he was back in town (it had started out as a joke because you were both so busy and no one seemed to be able to decide on specific dates, so you’d taken it into your own hands and…here you were), and he suspected that was when the more serious feelings started.

So, no, he’d rather not go downstairs where other people would interrupt and he’d barely get to talk to you.

“D’you know what you–What’re you doing?” He furrowed his brows,, about to hand you the menu when he stopped short of everything and watched you wander over to the front of the room.

Out of bed. Wearing his shirt.

Looking fucking incredible.

And he was thinking he could probably get used to this.

But his brain was going haywire because he didn’t want you to leave.

You said nothing, which did virtually nothing to ease his sense of panic, until you held up the TV remote, running a tired hand through your hair before tiptoeing back to the bed and sliding back under the covers like you belonged there.

“No.” You hummed, taking the menu from him and simultaneously flicking through the TV guide for something to watch.

“Did you sleep okay last night?” He found himself asking, noting the still-sleepy look about you – but not necessarily the bad kind of sleepy. You looked well-rested with rosy cheeks and bright eyes.

Pretty.

“Yeah. It was cosy.” You flashed him a warm smile, eye contact brief before going back to the menu, “What about you?”

“I’ll probably just have pancakes–”

“No,” you breathed a laugh, “Did you sleep well?”

Oh. He could feel his cheeks redden at the mistake, and nodded. In truth, he didn’t think he’d ever slept so well, even despite being a small bundle of nerves from the mere knowledge that you’d actually changed your mind and said yes to a sleepover, and the fact that you were less than three feet away. That was ignoring when he’d woken up to find out you’d been awake for so long and not wanted to wake him up or move him from where he’d (rather sheepishly) managed to hug you in his sleep.

“Cosy.” Was all he said, taking the menu back from you, “What’ll it be for you?”

“Pancakes, too, please.” You grinned at him, turning back to the TV.

He nodded, numbly reaching for the phone on his bedside table and rattling off the order, making sure to add in a glasses of milk and orange juice to accompany it.

When he’d finished and turned back to the TV, to you, there was a question written on your face as you pointed to the TV.

The Hangover.

“When in Vegas, right?” You asked, raising a brow and awaiting his answer.

He’d seen that movie a million times, had even watched it on Thursday (he’d never tell you that), but there was something about the hope and excitement written on your face that had him nodding along, not wanting to disappoint you this early in the morning.

God, he felt so bad when he crashed yesterday.

Not only had he ruined the race experience for you, but he’d worried you. You hadn’t even needed to say anything after the whole debacle (he hadn’t actually given you a real answer when you’d asked him why he wanted you to come with him to the hospital and whatever) for him to read it on your face.

He’d had every intention of whispering reassurances and holding your hand or doing something to have you closer than the edges of a constant small crowd, but he’d been strapped down and people had been talking over each other, and he just hadn’t had the chance.

Until the car ride back to the paddock. Sure, Jon was sitting next to him, but he’d kindly and rather respectfully chosen to ring Zak and give him an update, and then Lando took that brief moment of opportunity to hold your hand. He didn’t say anything, but almost as soon as his hand had touched yours he felt better – lighter. And he noticed that the weight on your shoulders and the crease between your brow lessened.

He sighed wistfully, tuning back into the film, but it was barely five minutes later when there was a knock on the door.

Room service.

He stopped you from moving, taking it upon himself to answer the door (he couldn’t tell if he was imagining it or not, but he swore he could feel your eyes on him as he walked past the end of the bed).

He cracked the door open, eyes on the floor where he expected the tray to be, only to look down and see a pair of trainers that most definitely belonged to Max.

His eyes shot up, and he hid himself behind the door, careful of you back around the corner, but wanting to shield himself from any passerbyers in the corridor – a photo of him answering the door in nothing but his undies would be pretty embarrassing – and glared at his friend, confusion clearly evident on his face.

Max was grinning like a madman, trying and failing to sneak a look behind Lando, “So?” He whispered, and Lando felt himself already getting irritated at the clear insinuation of that one singular word.

“No.” He answered, closing his eyes briefly and resting his temple against the door.

Max was quiet, “No.” He repeated, an element of disbelief etched on his face.

“No.” Lando groaned quietly, “Is that all?”

“No.” Max hissed, “Why not?”

Lando felt himself shrug, “Didn’t come up.”

Max blinked, rather frustrated, “You were supposed to make it come up.”

“Well I didn’t.”

“Clearly.” Max folded his arms across his chest and Lando rolled his eyes, “How come you’re only wearing your boxers?”

Lando looked down, brows furrowing, “What’s wrong with boxers?”

“The lack of other clothes? You always wear PJ’s.” Lando watched as the penny dropped in Max’s head, his eyes widening and his mouth forming an ‘o’ shape. Then he frowned, “Show off.”

Lando shook his head, “And what about it? I just wanted to be sure.”

“And are you?”

Lando chose not to say anything, just threw a cautious look behind his shoulder – one which prompted Max to jump to his reassurances.

“She does, okay?” He whispered softly, a pitiful look on his face, “I know that because of the way she looks at you when you’re not looking. She cares about you, man.” There was a pause, and Lando was too nervous to even look straight at Max, so he chose to focus on a spot above his head, completely missing the way Max hesitated, “She told P.”

Lando felt his neck practically snap to look at Max, nervousness completely abolished. His heart started thrumming with anticipation and the only thing he was capable of doing was staring so hard at Max the man’s skin prickled, “What?” Lando breathed, hoping he hadn’t just heard things in a mad craze.

Max screwed his eyes shut, shaking his head, “I shouldn’t be telling you this–”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Hagrid, but the situation is kinda dire here.” Lando cut in.

Max rolled his eyes, “Yeah, it’s kinda hard not to notice you’re a fucking chicken.”

“I’m on the brink of an anxiety attack.”

“Get a grip.” Max glared, half wanting to smack some sense into Lando and the other half wanting to laugh at the petrified look on his face.

“I can’t.” Lando threw the door open a little further out of frustration, hands going to grip Max’s shoulders in desperation.

Max breathed. He blinked. And then Lando thought he made an expression that looked as though he’d just suffered the most painful bout of trapped gas, “Don’t tell anyone–”

“Oh, thank fuck.”

“But P told me that they had a girls night with Ria, and they got to talking about guys, and P asked her if she had her eye on anyone and she got all blushy–”

“Get on with it.” Lando clenched his jaw, eyes darting down the corridor.

“I’m getting to it. Can she hear us? Actually, it doesn’t matter – but she got blushy and quiet and it turns out she’s liked you since we all went out for dinner the day after Silverstone, y’know, because she couldn’t go to the race, and you guys sat next to each other and she just liked you.”

(You could hear every word of what was being said.)

Lando felt his lips part in shock. Silverstone was towards the start of the season and there was one race left of the season.

July, August, September, October, November. You’d liked him for five months and hidden it from him that well? Since July? You guys could have been together-together since July?

Lando could feel his brain start to explode. His thoughts were getting louder–since July?–and Max’s face wasn’t doing anything to help it. If anything his big eyes were making it worse.

“Yeah, I know, it’s hard to believe.” Max muttered, and it seemed to snap Lando out of his shock-induced reverie.

“Oi.” Lando defended, “Did she say what made her like me?” He slowly took his hands off his friends shoulders.

Max nodded, “You talked to her the whole night. You were kind, funny, endearing, cute, nice to the waiter. Apparently she felt kind of bad you didn’t talk much to anyone else–”

“I didn’t talk to anyone else because I really liked her already.” Lando whispered, trying not to smile.

Max smirked, “Well, you need to tell her that, not me.”

Lando nodded, “Yeah. Bye.” And shut the door in Max’s face, taking a second to breathe and plant a small, non-suspicious-granting smile on his face before bounding around the corner to his side of the bed, flashing you a wider grin as he threw himself on the bed.

You swallowed, anxiety twirling in your stomach. You knew that telling P that stuff was likely to get back to Max, and then there was a chance that Max had told Lando – but you were shocked to find that Max had just chosen to hold onto that information out of loyalty to you. It warmed you, knowing you’d got a friend in Max, but it was also a little frustrating because you’d specifically been counting on P telling Max telling Lando. Maybe put a few feelers out.

And there was nothing reported back, so you just assumed Lando didn’t like you like that.

But he apparently did?

It was a tough thing to accept (a good thing to accept, you guessed), but not at all what you expected. You’d been planning for heartbreak (not that you'd planned to tell him), but now within the span of a two minute conversation, you had liberty to not expect disappointment.

And that was a little intimidating.

But Lando hadn’t stopped smiling since he’d put himself back on the bed, not bothering to get back under the covers considering it had been Max at the door, not room service–

“Who was it?” You asked, wanting to keep up the pretence of not having heard every word of their private conversation.

Lando hummed, one arm draped over his hair as he ripped his eyes away from the screen, “Sorry?”

He was looking at your mouth when you spoke, “Who was at the door?”

Then his eyes zipped to yours, “Just Max, he wanted to know if we were having breakfast downstairs. Sent him on his way.”

You nodded.

You could mention what you just heard, ask him if he remembered the dinner out. No, not subtle enough. He’d clock onto it immediately.

But you couldn’t just not say something.

Your hands darted out to fiddle with the edge of the duvet, where it was tucked around your torso. You weren’t even paying attention to the film anymore. You don’t know how long you let your mind run rings around your anxiety, but it was Lando’s hand creeping closer towards yours out of the corner of your eyes that had your head quietening. You watched him push his hand across the covers until it got within a centimetre of yours.

You could feel the warmth from his hand radiating on your skin, and his hesitation was clearly an opportunity for you to pull your hand away.

So you placed your palm on top of his upturned one. And he closed his fingers over your knuckles.

“You okay?” He asked softly.

You couldn’t look at him, but you could feel his concerned gaze burn against your cheek, “Yeah, just thinking.” You took a breath, looking up at him, “Do you ever wish we could have met earlier?”

He was nodding before you’d even finished talking, his entire face sincere in a way you didn’t think you’d ever seen, “All the time. I think meeting you earlier would have just made my life a lot easier.”

You tilted your head, squeezing his hand as you felt some colour rush to your cheeks, “What do you mean?”

He shrugged, “You make me feel calm, like, I look at you and I just feel better.”

He was looking at you like he was expecting you to say something back immediately, but your mind had gone blank.

So blank.

And then you felt his hand slowly slipping from your grip, his shoulders moving back to the centre of the bed from he’d leaned across to hold your hand, and you squeezed his hand, not wanting him to move away. You just needed a second to gather your thoughts.

“I need t–”

A knock at the door sounded.

Lando’s eyes darted from you to the door, back and forth, clearly torn. It wasn’t exactly a secret that you were about to say something serious – something that would change the entire dynamic of your relationship – but the interruption…

And at the thought of cold food after your stomach had been growling for the past hour, you made the decision for him. You unlaced your hands, pushing yourself off the bed and opening the door before you could change your mind or look at his face.

Neither of you said anything for the rest of breakfast, and nothing but an awkward, tense silence seemed to envelope the room.

The next time you saw him was when the group had decided to go for a last minute stroll, one of the stops being the shopping centre in the Venetian. Lando was walking with Max,;Ria with you behind them, and the rest of the group were trailing behind, occasionally laughing loudly. They were pretty raucous, and you and Ria were far enough behind Max and Lando that they couldn’t hear what you were talking about.

Ria had linked your arms, a mischievous twinkle in her eye as she pulled you closer after Lando had thrown another anxious glance over his shoulder to check on you, “Lando keeps checking you out.” She whispered.

You shook your head, momentarily biting the inside of your cheek, “He’s making sure I don’t run off.”

She frowned, looking back at Lando, who seemed to spin quickly after getting caught, “Why would you run off?”

You shrugged, trying not to think too much about it, “I overheard him and Max talking this morning about him liking me, and then Max told him about that night when we slept over at P’s place–”

“Yeah, because you wanted P to tell Max to tell Lando–” Ria nodded along.

“Exactly. Anyway, it turns out Max never told Lando, so since July, Lando’s been clueless about it all, and we had sort of a chat when he came back, and I was going to tell him–” Ria shot you a look, “I was, because if i didn’t tell him then, I never would’ve.” You groaned, “But then room service came and we haven’t talked since. But I think he knew I was going to say something, but–I don’t know.”

Ria seemed to think about it for a second, “He probably thinks you changed your mind.” She muttered.

You nodded, “I know, that’s the thing. I chickened out of telling him and then I thought he’d think I changed my mind, and then my brain seems to want to tell me that because he thinks I don’t like him anymore he won’t like me anymore, even though he’s not like that. At all. But now I can’t tell him because there’s people everywhere.”

Ria patted your arm, pulling out her phone, “Do you know what you’re gonna say to him?”

“No, I’m hoping it’ll come to me in the moment.” Even the thought of it sent a knot of anxiety plummeting in your stomach.

“Okay, this is what’s gonna happen: when we get to the shopping centre, everyone will want to go to the craziest shop they see first, okay? You say you want to get a drink first, and Max’ll get Lando to go with you.”

You nodded, “Okay.”

“I’ll text Max. You have to promise you’ll do it, though. Everyone needs to be put out of their misery.”

You raised a sceptical brow, “Everyone?”

She nodded, “Neither of you are subtle.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

As it happened, Ria’s theory was right. About seven people made an immediate beeline for the nearest shop with lights in the front and an array of weird things in the window (in all honesty, you were too nervous to even pay attention to what it was, it could have just been any high street shop).

You turned to Ria, “I’m gonna go get a coffee, I’ll meet you back here?”

She nodded, finding Max, who seemed to be on the lookout for her, and winked.

You took a deep breath, already beginning to walk away from the group. You’d all craned over a map on the way in so you knew vaguely which direction you were heading in, and when a hurried pair of footsteps jogged closer, your nerves seemed to only get worse.

Then Lando stepped next to you, and oddly enough, the anxiety you’d been holding onto all morning seemed to evaporate. And then it seemed to come crashing back in when you actually took in the expression on his face.

There was a slight downwards curve to his mouth, and his eyes were wide, brows furrowed. He looked a little frantic. And sad.

You wanted to drag your hand down his face and wipe it off.

In fact, you hated it so much that you stopped mid-step and grabbed his forearm without even thinking about it, “Is everything oka–”

“Are we still friends?” He breathed, eyes darting around your face.

You blinked, mouth parting at the loaded question. If you said yes you’d basically be rejecting him and that was the last thing you wanted to do; if you said no, you didn’t know what would happen. He could take it the wrong way and assume you didn’t want to be anything at all, but you were going to tell him – you had to, you promised Ria.

Even if it meant breaking his heart a little bit first, it’d have the best outcome.

You turned back around briefly, eyes scanning for a more private alcove, and dragged him to the nearest corridor, out of any possible stray eyes. It was a bit busy today, with the race last night–

You pushed him against the wall gently, hands wringing together. He slumped, clearly trying not to get too defeated by your silence after he’d spoken. But then his eyes dropped to your hands and he straightened, something unreadable on his face.

“I don’t want to still be friends.” You said, sighing and crossing your arms.

It was his turn to speak now. You seemed incapable of saying anything else at that moment.

He swallowed, brows furrowing. His face looked less despondent, so you took that as a win. He seemed to have been expecting you to say something like that (that was why he phrased the question in such a way!) because he pushed himself off the wall a little, “In what way?”

You rolled your eyes, “In an I like you way.”

“Romantically?” He took another step closer, a cheeky smile starting to curve at his mouth, and you said nothing at him.

Only this time it was of your own will.

He huffed a laugh, “I just need to hear you say it.”

“Romantically.”

It felt like a relief getting those words off your chest to the person you needed to say them to.

He seemed to think so too, because he grinned. Wider than he had before – like he had done last night, when he’d smiled with his entire being. His eyes crinkled in that way you adored, and his smile seemed ot reach his ears, “Thank fuck.” He breathed.

Then that was all he said.

You raised your brow, “Dude.” You encouraged, gesturing to him to go on.

He pulled a face, “Don’t ‘dude’ me.”

“You haven’t given me a reason not to ‘dude’ you.”

“I like you too, dickhead.” He grumbled, “A little less than before you called me ‘dude’, though.”

“I’m liking you less by the second.” You stated, trying not to laugh at the situation, “Romantically?” You checked, echoing his earlier question and also mocking it slightly.

“Romantically.” He clarified.

You both went silent, just drinking each other up in a way you hadn’t been able to five minutes ago. He looked gorgeous, as per usual. His hair was a little messier than it usually would be, probably a combination of the last-second plans and the fact that he wasn’t going to be showing his face on international TV. His face looked less restrained, like because he knew he didn’t have to hold back from looking at you everywhere, it was a weight lifted from his chest. His eyes were still smiling, glimmering a little, and his smile was softer – more secretive. His hands were flexing at his sides, as though he didn’t know what to do with them.

His hoodie hugged his shoulders, practically begging you to run your hands over them – but you didn’t. He looked snug, again, and before you could restrain yourself, you reached out and took one of his hands. His response was immediate, clasping his hand around yours and looking at you with a burning intensity. Only, you used your other hand to pull up his sleeve.

His forearm was tanned beautifully, veins completely visible. You’d never been allowed to just twist his arm around to your desire and simply look. You swallowed, tilting your head up to meet his eyes. His tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip and he caught it with his teeth.

You nudged your head closer, his nose softly bumping against your cheek.

Blood seemed to pump through your veins even faster than it already was. You could feel where you’d both stepped into each other, where his legs were pressed against yours, where your hands were still gripping, your other hand slipping off his forearm.

You could feel his breath tickle your cheek and your eyes fluttered shut briefly before snapping open. He was still looking at you, and in that split second he used the leverage of your conjoined hands to pull you even closer. You stumbled a little into him, tripping over his trainers, chests colliding. Your free hand slapped out to stop your falling, landing directly on top of his shoulder to brace yourself.

If anything, his little pull seemed to work because you were closer than before. All you had to do was lean closer–

“I want to kiss you but I want to take you on a date first.” He whispered, sucking the inside of his cheek nervously.

You had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes, “Because you’re a gentleman.”

He nodded, leaning closer despite his words. His eyes seemed to be zeroed in on your lips, and your mouth curved into a smile almost instantly at that observation. Then he smiled, nodding, your foreheads touching, “Yeah.”

“What kind of gentleman would you be if I wanted you to kiss me but you said no?” You breathed.

“Not a very good one.”

Lando’s lips were softer than you imagined, but there was a soul-crushing desperation behind it – a need, maybe the thought that someone could walk past the end of the corridor at any second and ruin this little pocket of relief, so he needed to make it last. You were eager, meeting him with an equal force that seemed to knock the air out of your lungs and weaken your knees – but his hold on you, he was touching you everywhere: one hand was on your cheek and laced in your hair, the other holding your back and pushing him against you – and you were practically leaning on him.

You didn’t know if it was the culmination of pent up feeling being released, or the fact that you were kissing him, but it felt euphoric; the way you seemed to move together was almost as if it had been rehearsed – which was insane, if you really thought about it. But you couldn’t, because he was practically kissing the breath out of your lungs, and you don’t know when it happened but you were pressing against him roughly, one hand on the back of his neck and the other wound in his hair.

And then you pulled away, breathing heavily. Your pulse was hammering and your blood was singing. You knew your cheeks would be red and your lips would be swollen, hair messy, but in that moment you couldn’t honestly find it within yourself to care.

And then he smirked, taking in your appearance.

His hair was practically everywhere. It looked like he’d just rolled out of bed after a deep sleep on one side of his face, and his cheeks were flushed, as were the tips of his ears and the slither of chest you could see from where his hoodie had slipped and been tugged.

Then you smacked him on the arm – not very hard. More of a light tap. He hissed nonetheless, smirk dropping but eyes still glazed over and watching you with what you now knew was lovesick intrigue.

“You’re a fucking chicken.” You pointed at him, “We could have been doing that last night.”

His expression dropped, eyes refocusing, “No, we could have been doing that since July.”

You tilted your head, “Maybe August, because I would have had to actually make sure I liked you.”

His expression dropped a little, an inquisitive smile still on his face, “Did you hear that entire conversation with Max?”

“It was hard to miss.”

“Oh.” He nodded, a smile on his face as he looped one hand around your shoulder, pulling you closer. You thought he was pulling you in for another kiss, your hand pressed comfortably against his chest, and he was an eyelash-length away from it when he stopped.

You were about to groan.

“What do you mean you had to make sure you liked me?” His brow was arched, but his tone wasn’t malicious or suspicious in any way. If anything it was coated with a thinly veiled layer of curiosity.

You shrugged, “Crushes go away. This kind of seemed to stick.”

“Lucky for me.” He kissed you, hands pressed against your cheeks in a display of faux passion and drama, before letting you go, hands not leaving you or letting you stray too far.

“So you never said when you started to like me.” You murmured, just loud enough for him to hear.

He huffed a laugh, shaking his head and avoiding eye contact.

“Now is not the time to get shy on me.” You breathed, a hand going to hold his sleeve.

“I’m not shy, I just—” He shook his head, self-deprecation evident, “If I had to say, probably May.”

You stalled, not able to say much, “Monaco?”

“Yeah.”

Then something warm seemed to bloom in your chest and you felt your eyes soften and a small smile creep in your face at the admission, “When we met?”

He inhaled sharply, “Pretty much. I think the crush started when you offered to help me take my helmet photos.”

You laughed, “Those photos were pretty funny.”

He nodded, eyes darting again to the end of the corridor, “We can talk about all that later—”

“Agreed—”

“But I just wanna kiss you again.”

You just pulled him in.

#lando norris oneshot #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine

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foxes-that-run · 24 days

Text

Haylor Mind and Madness theme

Madness & Crazy

Taylor

Wonderland "And in the end, in Wonderland, we both went mad"

You Are In Love: And you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars

Blank Space "Magic, madness, heaven, sin" and "They'll tell you I'm insane"

How You Get The Girl: Tell her how you must have lost your mind

Say Don’t Go: "The waiting is a sadness fading into madness"

IDWLF "Baby, baby, I feel crazy Up all night, all night and every day"

Hit's Different "Or have they come to take me away? To take me away"

Don’t Blame Me: For you I would cross the line, I would waste my time, I would lose my mind

Welcome To New York: Like any true love, it drives you crazy

End Game: Reputation precedes me, they told you I’m crazy

Don’t Blame Me: Don’t blame me, love made me crazy

Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: You know I adore you, I’m crazier for you than I was at sixteen

False God: We were crazy to think, crazy to think that this could work

I Don’t Wanna Live Forever: Baby, baby, I feel crazy

Harry

If I could Fly "I've been going out of my mind (I feel it I feel it) Know that I'm just wasting time"

Kiwi "She's driving me crazy, but I'm into it (Oh) and "It's getting crazy, I think I'm losing it, I think I'm losing it"

Right Now (1D) "And let's go crazy together (Woah-oh-oh, woah-oh-oh)"

Ophelia "Why don't we get a little high and crazy?"

I just wanna know you "Selfish, crazy and I'm never gonna change"

Complicated Freak "I guess I love crazy, out of your mind"

Night Changes "Does it ever drive you crazy / Just how fast the night changes?"

Mind

Taylor

Treacherous: "Your name has echoes through my mind and I just think you should, think you should know"

Everything Has Changed: "And all I’ve seen since 18 hours ago is green eyes and freckles and your smile in the back of my mind making me feel like" and "let me know that it’s not all in my mind"

Come Back… Be Here: I told myself, “Don’t get attached,” but in my mind I play it back

Shake It Off: It’s like I got this music in my mind saying, “It’s gonna be all right”

Wonderland Haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds?

Don’t Blame Me: Echoes of your name inside my mind, halo hiding my obsession

Getaway Car: I struck a match and blew your mind

Exile: I never learned to read your mind / Never learned to read my mind

Gold Rush: My mind turns your life into folklore

Question…?: She was on your mind with some dickhead guy that you saw that night

Paris: Let the only flashing lights be the tower at midnight in my mind

I Don’t Wanna Live Forever: I’m sitting eyes wide open and I got one thing stuck in my mind

Harry

Stockholm Syndrome - Used to sing about being free but now he's changed his mind (Oh-oh-oh)

Late Night Talking - Can't get you off my mind (can't get you off my mind)

Complicated freak - Can't get you off my mind

Adore You - Strawberry lipstick state of mind (state of mind)

Where do Broken Hearts Go - Mind is running in circles of you and me / Anyone in between is the enemy

Him "It was me that you had on your mind"

Little Freak "I was thinkin' about who you are / Your delicate point of view”

#mind #lyric parallels #haylor #harry styles #taylor swift

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avatar-anna · 2 years

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hey anna, i had a rough day & would love if you could give me your best angst to match my mood 🥺 screaming, crying, throwing up, ya know the vibe, something that’ll hurt, ur my fave, thank u in advance

i got u b! hope this does what it needs to 🥰🥰 i suggest listening to some olivia rodrigo for this one

throwin it back to the 1d days for this one, so shout out to all my directioners

Today you were surprising Harry at the studio.

You hadn't been able to see him much because he was hard at work making One Direction's third album. The last two had a lot of success, and Harry had expressed how he and the other boys were feeling the pressure to perform well. You knew he liked his space, so you'd given it to him, but you thought after a whole week of not seeing each other, he could benefit from seeing a friendly face.

Harry had been something of a pleasant surprise. You were a uni student studying in London when you bumped into him at a party that you'd been invited to by some of your more well-connected friends. You talked for hours about music, books, dreams, everything really. When you eventually had to leave, he wouldn't let go until you promised to see him again, and you'd been an item ever since.

Things were good. You saw each other when you could and talked on the phone and video chatted when you couldn't. He made sure he made time in his busy schedule for you, never once missing a virtual or in-person date. He gave you gifts, he listened to you rant about professors and exams and friend problems while you did the same, but mostly he just made you happy. Whenever you saw him, you got this giddy feeling that started at the top of your head and spread all the way down to your toes. The two of you were absolutely smitten, anyone with eyes could see it.

Except Isabella.

Isabella was some heiress turned model or something like that and a friend of Harry's. At the beginning of your relationship, you didn't see anything wrong with their friendship, but a few months in and you started to notice things.

Like how she always seemed to be in town whenever you and Harry went on dates, or how she touched Harry a little too much for your liking, or how she claimed she was just "one of the guys" but only hung out with your boyfriend. She went to multiple concerts around the world because she could, claiming, "Harry's my best friend, why wouldn't I?"

That stung. You wanted to go to all of Harry's shows too, but you couldn't hop on a private jet and fly to wherever he was, and even if you could, you were still in school, you didn't have the time. Harry never faulted you for that, so you didn't understand why Isabella felt the need to throw it in your face that you weren't there for him as much as she was.

But you could've put up with all of that. You could've dealt with Isabella and chalked her behavior up to her snobbish upbringing, yet when you brought your concerns up to Harry, he did the oddest thing. He defended her.

"She's not into me like that, we've just been friends a long time, Y/n."

That stung. Not only did he not see what you saw, but he also just brushed off your concerns as if they didn't exist. But you weren't an idiot. Quite the opposite if your enrollment in your uni's nursing program had anything to say about it. Isabella at the very least had feelings for Harry that extended past friendship.

So you started stepping up your game a little. Nothing major, just making sure you didn't wear your scrubs during video chats and wore the things you knew he liked best on you. You did surprise pop-ins at the studio, bringing baked goods for Harry and the other boys. You couldn't swat away Isabella like a gnat, but you could pretend she wasn't there as much as humanly possible. Your next step if things went on—say, showing up on another one of your dates with Harry and he just let her stay—you would finally confront him about it. But you hoped this would be enough.

You stepped through the fancy glass doors of the recording studio, following the familiar path to what had become One Direction's room for this album. There was a slight skip to your step as you walked the halls lined with famous artists signed to the label. You were having an excellent hair day, you were in your favorite pair of jeans, and you managed to get your winged eyeliner to match.

When you opened the door to the recording room, that good feeling was gone in an instant. She was there, leaning in close to him as they shared a pair of headphones and listened to a song together, most likely one he'd recorded recently. So wrapped up in each other, they didn't even notice you come in until the door swung closed.

"You two look busy. I guess I'll come back later," you said, though how you did it was a mystery. There was a lump the size of a golfball stuck in your throat.

Turning on your heel, you left before either of them could say anything. On your way out, you ran into Zayn and Niall, who had smiled upon seeing you, but their expressions immediately morphed into ones of concern when they saw you wiping tears from your eyes. You tried to step past them, but Zayn caught your elbow.

"Is everything alright?" he asked, his voice soft and soothing.

"I'm fine," you said, but even you could tell that you didn't sound very convincing. Before you knew it, tears were falling faster than you could wipe them away and you struggled to catch your breath.

"Hey, it's okay," Zayn said, bringing you in for a hug. You let him, relaxing a little as Niall rubbed your arm affectionately.

It was at that moment that Harry and Isabella decided to come out. He looked concerned, but she looked utterly unbothered, even when she saw you crying.

"What's wrong, love?" Harry asked, but when you stepped out of Zayn's arms, you bypassed your boyfriend and rounded on Isabella.

"You need to back off."

"Back off? Back off of what?" she asked, feigning innocence.

You kept your breathing as steady as you could, trying your best to ignore the fact that you probably looked a mess. "Harry is my boyfriend, and I'm uncomfortable with the way you act around him. It's disrespectful."

"Disrespectful? I'm his best friend. If you have a problem with that, that's not my problem, it's yours."

The hallway was dead silent despite there being five people in it. You didn't know what to say, which seemed to satisfy Isabella. In a desperate attempt for backup, you turned to the one person who should've been on your side without any questions asked. "Harry?"

You knew he hated confrontation, but you needed him. You always defended him when the boys teased him a little too much, you were always there for him when he was frustrated with a bad day of writing. You were always on his side, now you needed him on yours.

"I, um," he struggled with finding something to say. You felt Zayn and Niall watching this whole exchange like you were some teen drama, but you tried not to pay attention to them.

"This is ridiculous, Harry. Your girlfriend's jealous and insecure. We shouldn't have to change our friendship for her."

Harry took his time responding again, and each second that passed filled you more and more with dread. Finally, he said, "I—I've told you that nothing's going on with her, Y/n. I need you to trust me."

It would've hurt less if you'd been slapped. If you couldn't make him see it now, you never would. Bracing yourself for something you never thought you had to do, you loosed a breath and looked Isabella in the eye.

"Right. Well, you don't have to worry about stepping on any toes or crossing any lines, not that you ever did. He's all yours. I'm done."

You left without another word, feeling like your heart was trying to make a hasty escape through your throat. As you walked away, you heard Isabella say, "Did you hear the way she talked about him? He's not a piece of meat."

"Oh shut up, Isabella." That was Niall. His comment made a smile flicker on your lips, but it only reminded you of the fact that it was still someone else defending you and not the person it should've been.

Before you made it to the elevators, you heard soft footfalls behind you. Harry was there, lightly gripping your elbow and spinning you around. "Really, that's it? You break up with me just like that?"

"You couldn't even stick up for me in front of her, Harry! If you're not on my side, then what's the point?"

"There are no sides, Y/n! We're just friends! Why don't you believe me when I've already told you countless times?"

"She doesn't want to be just your friend! How many dates has she crashed? How many times have you cancelled or left early because she needed you? She was practically on top of you in the studio just now! I've let it all slide, but I'm not gonna do it anymore, Harry. She may not see it that way, and you might not either, but it is disrespectful. She doesn't respect me, and she certainly doesn't respect our relationship.

"I've kept my mouth shut, I've pretended like what she was doing wasn't driving a wedge between us, but all that did was bring us to this point. There's not a wedge between us, Harry. We'd have to be on the same plane of existence for that."

You hated how much your words seemed to hurt Harry. At least it meant that he really did care for you, but it wasn't enough.

"I don't know what you want me to do," he said quietly.

"Stop hanging out with her, admit that how she acts around you isn't normal 'best friend' behavior. Do anything but just stand there and look at me like I'm crazy."

When he still couldn't at least admit that Isabella was out of line, that was all you needed. Looking back on that moment, you remembered not feeling sad that your relationship had come crashing down in a matter of minutes, you only felt angered by his choice, and maybe a little resigned, like some part of you knew it was coming.

Nodding, you said, "Right. Guess that answers that then. When she finally does make her move, I hope someone is there to say 'I told you so.' Goodbye, Harry."

------------------------------------

Two weeks later and you were still devastated. Everything still felt so fresh, and it took just about everything in you to get up in the morning and go to school.

You hoped that Harry was feeling similar. Part of you thought that he would call or come visit you, but he hadn't and you were starting to lose faith in that particular fantasy.

At the very least, you hoped you inspired a song on One Direction's upcoming album.

Speaking of, as you were getting ready for school one morning, you got a phone call from Zayn.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Hi. How've you been?"

"Alright considering, I suppose. I've just enough strength to get me through classes, but that's about it. Is that pathetic?"

You were partially joking, but mostly not. When Zayn didn't answer right away, though, you began to worry. "Zayn? What is it?"

"I just wanted to give you a heads up. It'll probably be all over the Internet, but I thought you deserved to hear it from a friend."

Your stomach dropped. You knew it was coming, but you wanted to believe that Harry really did love you. "At least he didn't cheat, right?"

"Y/n—"

"It's fine, Zayn, really. I, um, I should be getting to school. I don't want to miss my bus."

You didn't take the bus, and you definitely weren't going to school, but you needed to get off the phone as quickly as possible.

"Do you need anything? The boys and I are all planning to egg his place while he records some solos," he said. An attempt to make you smile. It would've worked if you didn't just lose the ability to feel anything.

"No, I don't need anything, but thank you. For asking and for calling." It was certainly more than Harry did.

"I have to get going, but call any of us if you need anything. You may have broken up with him, but we're still friends, yeah? Don't be a stranger."

You hung up soon after, and then you were left to stew in your misery. Sobs wracked your body as you blindly made your way back to your room. Your heart physically ached, despite having braced yourself for this possibility even before you'd broken up with him

The hardest part was accepting the fact that you and Harry were truly finished because when you were good, you were really good. He loved you, you believed that, but somewhere down the line, he found it in him to like someone else. You could only hope that one day you'd be able to move on, because right now you felt like your apartment was crushing your chest.

"You didn't cheat, but you're still a traitor," you mumbled to yourself as you got into bed. Now that was a song lyric. Shutting your eyes, you hoped that the face you were still in love with despite everything didn't haunt you in your dreams the way he was about to haunt you in real life.

#harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles oneshot #harry styles x you #harry styles angst #one direction

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watermelonsugacry · 11 months

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OK I HAVE SO MANY THINGS I WANNA TALK 2 U ABOUT SO HERE IS ME RANTING AND PUTTING QUESTIONS:

I lovehe relationship yn has w the tomlinsons😫 like how she has a secrete handshake with the twins and how lottie is like her little sister and LOUIS IS LITERALLY A DREAM FRIENDSHIP

I have this thing where i like to think that yn was a big fan of paramore, and she also wrote some hits like only exeption (it just screams her and also it reminds me of how she would feel abt harry)

I also see her writing 'girl crush' when harry and taylor were dating and then saling it in 2014 but idk thats just me

And am i the only one who sees a PERFERT friendship between her and jennifer lawrence??

OK NOW I GOT SOME QUESTIONS SO HOPE THEY'RE NOT TOO MUCH

Whats the readers networth? Like i know that shes rich but how rich🤔

On a scale of 1-10 how famous is she? Like comparing to a big celebrity like Beyonce is she just as famous or..?

Whats her favorite colour?

Who is more clingy, harry or her?

Besides harry and louis who is her bestfriend that she hangs out w the most

What are some celebrities that got a crush on her and who has made that public

The weeknd has a song 'the party & after party' and it kind of sounds that hes describing a girl like yn "with your louis v bag, tats on your arms, high heels shoes make you 6 feet tall.." so are there some speculations ab this from the fans?

AND LAST is the reader the teaser in the relationship or does harry like to make fun of her more? ( srry if theres any mistakes)

IM ALWAYS DOWN FOR THIS LOVIE 💚

same!! they're family 🥰

funny enough, i actually picture a lot of paramore's music to be the music that yn would make with her band when she was in high school!

in the 1d!yn universe, she wrote Girl Crush!! (I remember talking about it a while ago on here but I forgot what year she wrote & sold it lol)

I don't know much about jennifer lawrence but thats an interesting pair 👀

I'll base it off of ariana grande's net worth at 240 million. But we all know that no number can amount to her actual worth 💅

I'd say that on a scale of 1-10, she's about an 8. She's a household name and an absolute force to be reckoned with. She's the type of famous that she forgets that she is and she'll record herself reacting to tiktoks lying down in bed, make-up free, and just lose her mind laughing. Or there was another time when she took herself out on a brunch date bc Harry went out to play golf that morning. Two girls approached her table and politely greeted her, said how much they loved her and had tickets to see her show that night. But before they could leave, YN invited them to sit with her and spent the rest of the morning eating and chatting with them.

Her favorite color is lavender 💜

Harry is the more clingy of the two! He's always the one who lays himself on top of her when she's about to get out of bed. When they arrive at the stadium he's going to perform at, her hand is constantly intertwined with his. When she's doing some last-minute rehearsals and sound checks, he's sitting at the edge of the room as he watches her work while still giving her her space. Or when she's in her home studio, he insists that she sits in his lap as she works because he's missed her all day, promising that he won't be a distraction to her (even though he totally is). And don't get it twisted, she can be clingy too sometimes; she's just better at hiding it.

Her other good friends that she hangs out with whenever she can are: Abel (the weeknd), Perrie Edwards, and Alisha Davies (an old friend from Doncaster turned choreographer).

oh my gosh where do I even begin?! There's a couple that initially come to mind: Matt Healy, Alex Turner, and Taron Egerton. For some reason, I can hear Matt say in an interview: "YN YLN is totally fit. Yeah, she's a fucking babe she is."

OOO definitely! Fans from both fan bases had speculated that they might have dated in 2017 (they didn't) bc that's when they hung out in public for the first time. Some people still speculate that Abel might have a crush on her til this day.

I'd say they share the teasing role. She throws playful jabs at him left and right, but she's the one who helped coax out that side of him. While they tease one another behind closed doors ALL the time, their favorite time to make fun of each other is at each other's shows.

#1d!yn asks #harry x 1dbandmember!reader #since 2010 series #1d!yn

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moonjxsung · 1 month

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OMGG A FELLOW DIRECTIONERSTAY??!?!?? I TOO HAD A 1D FAC ACC. ON TWITTER. but I became a fan after the hiatus :( Okay so who was your fav member??? Mine is Louis. What's your fav album? fav song? fav era? I NEED TO KNOW

YES OH MY GOD………. MY PEOPLE……. I saw One Direction twice in concert for TMH tour in 2013 and OTRA in 2016 I believe LORDDDDDD I MISS THEM SO MUCH………….. I was a Zayn girly to the COREEEEE OF MY ENTIRE SOUL (he still owes me emotional reparations for march 25, 2015😀) and Harry was my second fav but ever since their disbandment I’ve grown really partial to Harry and Louis !!!! I’ve seen Harry twice in concert too so I’ve literally seen him live 4 times in total and he’s soooo fucking talented, I plan on getting Harry Styles tattoo sometime within the year just bc he’s been part of my life for over a decade now 👼 fav album was probably Four but I always have to credit Take Me Home for being the best era ever like life was just so carefree and beautiful and it was the peak of my Twitter days (I even met some of my Twitter moots at concerts 💔) FAV SONG IS A HARDDDD ONE so I’ll list a few but definitely: Clouds, Spaces, Fireproof, Made in the AM, No Control, Hey Angel, Nobody Compares and I Want!

One Direction are truly my Roman Empire like I could talk about that era of my life FOREVER…. It was when I first became immersed with fandom culture and started liking boy bands, making internet friends, writing fanfic and I have never ever felt happiness the way I did when I was a 1D girly™️ life was so much fun💔 I was literally interviewed by my local radio station when Zayn left the band bc my whole city knew me as a 1D girl LMAOOOO

ALSO SINCE WE’RE TALKING ABOUT IT…. Do you think we’re getting a 1D reunion or no…. I don’t think any time soon but with Zayn seeming to make peace with everything I do think it’s a possibility some point down the line and I’m literally counting down to the day it happens like I will fully ditch kpop for a little bit while we get a 1D reunion those are my ROOTS 😭😭

#anon <3 #ask

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personthattoleratesme · 6 months

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So, you want to study new phannies?

well, same, i don't know what happened to me either but let me try to explain, you might find it amusing

you see, I'm 19 now, so back when they first were active i wasn't enough chronically online to be obsessed with any internet personality. (for reference, i was five when dan posted his first video.)

then covid and lockdowns happened and through some twists and turns i was catapulted deep into the 1D fandom, more specifically the larry portion of it. it was incredibly toxic and unhealthy, but it was also so much fun and taught me a lot about fandom and shipping culture. i eventually moved on into much healthier fandom spaces and honestly thought (and hoped) i was over being a fan of Real Living Human Beings.

now, i had obviously heard of dan and phil before but never watched any of their videos. so when they announced the return of dapg and everyone here freaked out about it i thought, eh, might as well take a look.

i don't know what it was about them, their dynamic, the casual happy queerness, the way they love and care for each other, their little stupid quirks, dan's way with words, but it pulled me in so damn quickly. so far i have no regrets, watching them is so nice and comforting.

however it also felt so intoxicatingly familiar to when i first got into larry, which scared me at first because i did not want to go back to anything like that time of my life. by now i have realised that this is different. it feels like a better version of whatever i had going on back then, because this time there is no need for wild speculations and intrusive theorising. them being themselves and sharing what they want to share is more than enough. maybe it's just hopeful thinking but i feel like it is actually possible to have a healthy parasocial relationship with them.

i might have missed it just a teeny tiny bit.

also!!! i feel like i picked the exact right time for this new obsession because there's so much going on, it's so fun and i amm excited for the future!

dunno if the tumblr phandom is the right place for me, right now i am pretty content with just lurking and watching you guys do your thing

with love,

a new phannie

first of all i want to say welcome new phannie! i hope you enjoy and benefit from the enrichment of our little corner of the internet.

i really enjoyed reading your story. as soon as i read larry i had a visceral full-body reaction ngl, i'm so sorry you went through that.

you have really chosen an excellent time to become a phannie. the toxicity is mostly out of the fandom, dnp are in control of the narrative now, and we don't have to deal with all the phan proof shit anymore.

it gives me so much joy that nowadays their queer happiness can be a factor in becoming a fan of theirs. there's just something so special about how after everything they've been through - and everything we've been through as phandom - that there is now this wonderfully queer and happy space that can feel safe and inviting for young queer people.

i really hope that this parasocial relationship with them will turn out to be what you're looking for. when i was a teenager they helped me through so much, and now that we're all older and have been able to grow as people i think we genuinely have a very good and healthy parasocial relationship with them as a fandom.

thank you so much for your sharing your story, i genuinely find it so fascinating to learn about 2023 phannies.

you're totally welcome to lurk here for as long as you want. i was a lurker for a long time cause phannie tumblr kind of scared me. i used to only exist in the anon asks of other users and feel free to do the same.

now i want to know: what was your first dnp video?

#this ended up being longer than i intended #and originally i had a much longer part about larries vs phannies but i decided to not make enemies today #anon ask #answered

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kpop-stories-21 · 1 year

Text

Song Fic Ask Challenge

Hi guys! You might remember a little while back I put out a post called the "Song Fic Ask Challenge Part 1". Well, it didn't get near the traction I expected, so I'm reposting it now with the full(shortened) list of prompts in the hopes that more variety will attract more people. And if this isn't your thing, don't worry. A reblog to share it around for others to see is equally appreciated!

If you didn't see my first post, here's how it's gonna go: I have made a list of songs to base one shots off of. With each song title I will give a basic plot and two endings. What I want from you is to send me an ask with a song title from the list, give me a pairing from the groups I write for, (it can be member x member, member x reader, or member x one of my rp characters) and either chose one of the endings I listed or make up your own. Then I will write the one shot, post it and tag you in it. And yes, I know these are all 1D songs. I don't actively follow the members much these days, but I still really enjoy their music. If you don't know the songs, don't worry! Each title will have a link to a lyric video.

And to the few who did send in requests, don't worry. Your requests will still be written, that hasn't changed. But do feel free to send in a second request if you see another prompt that you like.

➶➶➶➶➶ - ➷➷➷➷➷

1. Half A Heart - A and B have a fight or some encounter equally threatening to their relationship. They separate for a while and the two of them really miss each other, but aren't sure if they should try to fix things or not. Ending #1: they realise they just can't live without each other and decide to try and work things out. Ending #2: they decide that, even though they love each other, it would be better if they break up and go their separate ways. | Requested by: @umbralhelwolf | Read it here

2. Live While We're Young - A and B meet at a summer camp and fall in love. They spend every possible moment together, even sneaking away for some spicy fun time 😉 The catch is that they live really far away from each other, so when the camp ends they have to decide how they want to handle things between them. Ending #1: they decide not to break up and try a long distance relationship. Ending #2: they decide to just call it a summer love and go their separate ways, never to meet again. | Requested by: @trashlord-007 | Read it here

3. Over Again - A and B have begun to feel they've fallen out of love with each other. Not quite ready to tell anyone yet, they have to pretend things are fine when around friends and family. As the pretending begins to wear them both down, they fight more often. Ending #1: They remember how good things used to be and try to reignite their love for each other. Ending #2: They finally come clean to everyone and break up officially. | Requested by: @trashlord-007 | Read it here

4. Truly, Madly, Deeply - a high school romance, where A sees B from afar and falls hard but is too shy to say anything at first. A few days later A works up the courage to confess and B says they feel the same. A feels ecstatic, but in the back of their mind fears this might not be for real and that B might leave them. Ending #1: B genuinely has feelings for A and they have a happy relationship. Ending #2: A finds out B is just using them to look good and ends up getting their heart broken. | Requested by: @umbralhelwolf | Read it here

5. Gotta Be You - a college AU where A and B are an established couple, but one day B says something incredibly rude and/or derogatory about A and it spreads through the college like wildfire. A is hurt, breaks up with B and starts to distance themself. B is extremely ashamed of what they've done and after letting A have some space, tries to talk to them about getting back together. Ending #1: A agrees to give B another chance and things return to normal. Ending #2: A rejects B and B just completely falls apart. | Requested by: @anyamaris | Read it here

6. I Wish - A and B have been friends since childhood, and B has been in love with A for a good bit of that time. But then A meets C at their job and begins to fall for C. B is heartbroken and watches all their interactions while wishing it was them with A instead of C. Ending #1: A realises B's feelings and chooses to be with B. Ending #2: A remains oblivious, becoming more and more involved with C. B moves out of town to put space between them and A, and their friendship slowly dies. | Requested by: @sanjoongie | Read it here || Requested by: @wooyoungmybelovedhusband | Read it here

7. Tell Me A Lie - A and B are in a relationship, but recently A has started seeing C and is thinking of dating them instead of B. B, who's really in love with A, is aware of this and becomes increasingly unhappy the more time A spends with C. One night, A comes to tell B they're breaking up and going to date C, B asks them to give any other reason for their breakup than because of C. When A asks why, B explains that they still love A and couldn't live with themselves if they were constantly reminded of C being the reason for their split. Ending #1: When A hears this, they are reminded of all the reasons why they fell for B in the first place and decide not to break up after all. Ending #2: A does as asked and gives B a fake reason for breaking up, then leaves and begins dating C. | Requested by: @anyamaris | Read it here

8. Same Mistakes - A and B are in a dying relationship, neither really willing to change the things necessary to keep their love alive. Instead they keep repeating past experiences, going through the motions of being in love without any good feelings. Ending #1: Something traumatic happens that pulls Both A and B out of their funk and makes them want to try and re-kindle their love. Ending #2: A and B eventually get tired of going through the motions and break things off. | Requested by: @anyamaris | Read it here

9. More Than This - A is in love with their roommate B, who is dating C. Deciding to confess their feelings without directly revealing their identity, A anonymously posts little thoughts and phrases on the school's forum page about how jealous they feel when seeing B and C together, and how they could love B more than C does. One day while having lunch with B, A accidentally outs themself as the anonymous poster. Ending #1: B admits they've begun to have feelings for A as well and breaks up with C so they can be with B. Ending #2: B rejects A, becoming angry and accusing A of trying to break up their relationship with C. A moves in with C shortly thereafter and the two never speak to each other again. | Requested by: @yoonguurt | Read it here

10. Fool's Gold - A is well known among their friend group for sleeping around a lot and generally being quite the player. Enter B, the younger sibling of one of A's friends, who quickly develops a crush on A but is warned by their sibling to stay away or risk getting their heart broken. B continues to pursue A in spite of the warnings, having full knowledge of A's habits and not caring about the consequences. Ending #1: B confesses their feelings to A and the two sleep together, only for A to bring C around a few days later and announce they've decided to date each other. B is heartbroken and distances themself, promising never to have anything to do with A ever again. Ending #2: B confesses their feelings for A and they sleep together. Afterwards A confesses that they have feelings for B and the two decide to begin a relationship. | Requested by: @flowerboykun | Read it here

11. Change My Mind - A and B have been best friends since childhood. They've done pretty much everything together, and are rarely without each other. But after being assigned as roommates at their chosen college, A begins to develop deeper feelings for B. When attending a "welcome to college" party ends with A and B sleeping together, both begin to struggle with how they feel and how this could affect their friendship. Ending #1: A and B admit they have feelings for each other, and decide to pursue a relationship. Ending #2: B keeps their feelings to themself and the two brush it off as a drunken mistake. A and B's friendship becomes awkward, and they start to drift apart. | Requested by: @jeonrose | Read it here

12. Love You Goodbye - In the aftermath of an explosive fight, A comes to B's apartment in a very nice outfit. B has a sinking feeling that A hasn't come to apologize and instead wants to break up. So B asks if A can spend the night even if this is the end of their relationship, a way of saying goodbye if you will. Much spiciness ensues😏. Ending #1: The next morning A realises that maybe the two of them can work things out after all, and doesn't actually break up with B. Ending #2: The next morning A dresses, gathers their things, and leaves before B awakens. An awkwardness hangs between them now, keeping them from remaining friends, and eventually they lose contact with one another. | Requested by: @anyamaris | Read it here

➶➶➶➶➶ - ➷➷➷➷➷

And there you go! I look forward to seeing your choices and I'm super excited to write all these. If you liked this little event and want me to do more things like this in the future, please let me know! Feedback is always greatly appreciated.

That being said, have a great day/night and I'll see ya'll next time!!!

#kpop #fic challenge #song fic #ask challenge #writing

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jlf23tumble · 1 year

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Hi Jen

I can't wait for you to watch aotv and share your thoughts. All I have to say is -

- I absolutely adore Jay and I'm in awe of her.

- I don't if there was a little bit too much of Harry at first or if that's what my brain chose to focus.

- At the beach with the kid was pretty meh but the kid at his show was so so cute. Extremely heartwarming watching them together.

- Helene is an absolute gem.

- The fan moments left me appalled because of the white washing and the blatant show of privilege, not my favourite part.

- I'm surprised there was no mention of afhf.

It's been more 30 hours since I watched it, and I haven't had a single thought that didn't start and end with Louis. Nothing we didn't already know, but he's just a wonderful person, warts and all.

I need to watch again because I don't remember seeing some of the things that people are talking about. Hope you have a great time!

anon 2: I thought the hug was weird until I saw the movie myself because the hug was before the last 1d performance bts and Louis was so nervous. Harry and Louis didn't hug Liam or Niall in that room but only eachother for that small second and Helene so it seemed more like a small gesture of comfort, a bit of I am right here if you need anything. Right after everyone leaves the room because Louis needs a bit more practice with Helene (they were all ready to go onstage except for Louis) and Louis goes to the door and asks for Harry so it seems they talked again off camara. They showed the performance and there on stage everyone hugs except Louis and Harry and that made me laugh because bts they did hug and we never knew until this doc. I don't know if they were broken up but still cared for eachother because Harry also kept looking at Louis in that bts footage and he had this worried look on his face.

++++++++++++

Just gonna group all these movie-related takes together since I finally watched it! I won't answer your points line by line, but here are my knee-jerk takeaways:

None of this was surprising at all, but it was cool to see it all lumped into one place where people couldn't really erase it.

Love love love and miss Jay, also, Louis is such a tremendously strong person because this is definitely edited, he was bearing a lot more weight than is portrayed here, and yet he perseveres. He seems pretty present in every moment, too, which is impressive.

I hope Helene is making a shit-ton of money because she's doing at least 3 jobs.

The negative space around Eleanor (those 2x the E tat shows up, rip) is really loud, especially with the growing number of rainbow flags (starts with one, ends with hundreds), he is definitely opting to NOT talk about any relationship, draw your own dots (but also? some of the choices here, like the extended kiss during the Grease part, okay). I still feel El was a proxy, and that makes all of her absence even more ohhhhhhkay.

Related: I want to rewatch the first 10 minutes because I could swear he does this whole double layering with the "break up" talk and how it's meant to be about the band, but it's definitely literally focused on Harry (for one, that's mainly where you see Harry, especially in some obvious VO work, but also he says "relationship" singular vs. plural in a place where with the band, the plural makes a helluva lot more sense).

Related related: the way that Louis is interacting with Liam and Niall being at the same festival he was at, yet NOT interacting with Harry when he was at one, too, hmmmm.

I need to watch the Liam G. doc because Charlie's INSANE use of in focus/out of focus/in focus/out of focus, especially with family members, is meant to make it somehow feel unstaged but increasingly becomes annoying.

I felt like the James Corden bit was one of the very truest parts of this, a lot of it was by the numbers rote media training, but Louis disappearing? Maybe he hates James, who knows, but if it's a pattern, oh man.

I felt it was about 20 minutes too long, you could start seeing the template by the end (line up of fans, empty stadium, crowd excitement, Louis's buzzing, on to the next place) to the point where it almost diluted it? I would edit that shit down or compress it, there was a point where you weren't seeing anything new except for the location.

I disagree with anon 2 about the hug (for one, we don't see all the interactions/hug moments, who knows if a lot of hugs were shared, but also when he's calling to someone, Harry's in the back, I think, not to the left? I'd have to rewatch). Also, I'm in the camp that they had a big split around this time, yet were still friendly enough to be close, support each other (possibly fuck, who knows).

The parts with Freddie and his grandparents were incredibly moving, and telling, too, in that I get the anxiety spike because there's a lot here that is telling some people shit they just don't want to hear.

AIMH Oli, you can cause trouble up in [personal details redacted], and I would want to hear more about it. Hope you're being well paid, too.

Personal projection time: there were so many, SO MANY peter pan and the (white) lost boys antics, like, I disagree that all the fan content was white-washing when the entire BAND is white boy coded (at least SOME of the fans weren't white Americans). I don't think it'll change soon, but I like to hope he'll reach out and experiment more (both in terms of music and people around him). I hold out this hope because he clearly laid out the blueprint early on about 1st album is this, 2nd album is that, 3rd album is closer to what I want to do...I promise you, Loueh, plenty of non white dude fish in that sea.

#i went with my best friend #and she's not on tumblr #not in the fandom #does not get why people give a single shit about freddie #and we had all of these takes in common lmao #but also she's a smoker and even SHE was like this is a lot of cigarette endorsement lol

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allwaswell16 · 1 year

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Hi! I'm relatively new around here, but I just finished Take My Breath Away (the Top Gun fic) and I'm obsessed with Top Gun 1D AUs. Would you happen to know any others with a Top Gun storyline?

Hi, anon! Oh, I love that fic so much! Here's the fic anon is talking about, if you haven't read it...

Take My Breath Away by RealityBetterThanFiction

There is a prestigious school in the British Royal Navy classified as Premier Delta - or as it is known by its flyers, 1D. These select pilots are an elite set of Naval lieutenants who are trained in the skill of aggressive aerial combat. They are instruments of war, trained in times of peace. They are dogfighters, relentless and fearless in their mission to protect their beloved country. From their lofty vantage, they are always watching, waiting, and ready to lay it all on the line.

Lt. Harry Styles, call sign Sparrow, is a prodigy when it comes to flying. The owner of an unrivaled Naval pedigree, being a pilot was always written in the stars for Harry. With his trusty RIO, Lt. Niall Horan, Harry has made an unprecedented ascension in the ranks of the Naval aerial combat elite, and has been recruited to the esteemed Premier Delta flight school, carrying on his family’s legacy. What he finds there are unexpected friendships, perilous challenges, and something beyond what he ever thought possible. Because as his father had always told him, before the great Captain Styles went tragically missing in combat, you don’t fall in love with the sky, you fall in love with what keeps you on the ground.

There aren't very many other Top Gun aus, but here's what I could find...

Top Gun by photo41

The Royal Navy's premier flight school, TOP GUN is located in Lossiemouth, Scotland. It accepts only the best Royal Navy Aces, and churns out the top pilots in the world.

Hot shot pilot Louis Tomlinson is confident him and his RiO, Stan, are going to kill it.

That is, he didn't figure on contending with the other ace pilots of the Navy; specifically Liam Payne and his RiO Zayn Malik, who seem to be able to read each other's minds.

He also has to contend with a green-eyed curly haired distraction, not helpful at all.

Between the Soviets, dog fights, annoying helicopter pilots, career women and beach volleyball, will Louis have what it takes to become the Royal Navy's Top Gun?

Here Between Earth and Sky by ohnoscarlett

Louis is an RAF pilot, along with his best mate Liam. They've been bounced from station to station for years together, until they finally end up in Scotland. Louis is unimpressed with how his military career is progressing, so he suggests they go train at the American tactical fighter school, otherwise known as Top Gun.

They're transferred one more time, even further up into the wilds of Scotland, and Louis is ready to call it quits. But then they meet the incredibly friendly Zayn and Perrie, who introduce them to everyone else they know, including their fun neighbors and co-workers.

There's a baby, an unconventional proposal of marriage, lots of airplane!porn (because airplanes!), and then a little regular porn after Louis and Harry get it together.

Lots of picturing lads in uniform, looking very sharp indeed. Then, wait--what? An opportunity to join the European Space Agency to possibly go to the International Space Station? Or Mars! Ok then.

I also have this rec if you want some pilot fics...

🌸 Pilot Fics

Happy reading!

#ask #anon #ficask #topgunfics #ficrec

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rimouskis · 7 months

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is there some way we can bribe you for track by track thoughts on whatever albums you listen to? my personal vote would be for four, an album of some of the silliest songs in the world and grade a certified bangers

no bribery all I ask is that you listen to one song I love in return. so first go listen to Yippie Ki Yay by Hippo Campus and review it back to me then you're allowed to look beneath the cut

wait. I changed my mind. also you're not allowed to get offended at any of my meaningless opinions on an album from almost 10 years ago. capisce? I promise whether or not I like any of these songs is not an indictment of your personal music taste. love and light to all 1D fans

Steal My Girl: I like what this track initially put down. Really loud and stadiumesque bass, which is generally a one-way-ticket to "bec likes this song"-ville. but it keeps backing down for them to sing their verses, and personally I prefer constant auditory assault from said stadium-shaking bass+beats, but the loud chorus makes up for it. it's a little slow and plodding, but it's definitely a happy song. enjoyable! not likely to be on heavy rotation for me, but I won't skip it if it comes up. I do appreciate a good "na na na na nana". Banger. ✅

Ready to Run: the opening of this song is so nostalgic ahahah it sounds like that whole slate of acoustic guitar songs from the late 2000s. I like that! I wasn't as big of a fan when the full instrumental backing came in!!! leave it acoustic! is there an acoustic version of this song? that's what I want

Where Do Broken Hearts Go: now here's a big loud stadium chorus. yes. I wish to be top row in some enormous basketball stadium and hear this beamed directly at my head with the force of 1000 fighter jets while a strobe light whites out my eyes.

18: here's my secret, cap... I don't like ballads. like sure it speeds up about halfway through but I just have to accept about myself that I don't like this type of pop music. it's slow it's lovey and I need about 15 more levels of loud bass for this to work. this is also why miss swift's folklore and evermore albums didn't work for me [don't throw tomatoes at me okay I TRIED TO LIKE IT AND I DON'T. I NEED LOUD GUITARS.]

Girl Almighty: YES A SONG I KNOW! I KNOW THIS ONE! MY FRIEND HAS A TATTOO ABOUT IT! I do think the "save a savior" line is silly but this song is so bouncy and delightful that I'll forgive it. also "let's have another toast to the girl almighty" is such a delightful lyric. I need to add this song to my skiing playlist. Banger. ✅

Fool's Gold: snnznnnnznznzzzzzzzzzz another slow song. ballad BANISHED (it's not a bad song I just achieve normal person levels of dopamine via fast music)

Night Changes: [points] look ma it's the song from the meme! does it ever drive you crazy just how fast the night changes! would you believe me if I told you this is the first time I've heard this song in its entirety? because it's true. it's not a bad song! not super to my taste, but I was willing to sit through the whole thing. I really enjoyed the vocals in this one.

No Control: I like the guitars here. I do NOT like the chorus, which is too bad. the verses are good. not a flop, but not a banger :(

Fireproof: at this point I think I'm beginning to experience 1D fatigue. their voices are all starting to blend together. pop overload. this song blends into the background. I feel like I'd hear this song at the state fair playing on some speakers. inoffensive. it smells like popcorn and deep fried oreos here. a vehicle from the dirt rally catches on fire. the speakers crackle. louis croons, unbothered.

Spaces: ballads BANISHED!!!!!! BEGONE

Stockholm Syndrome: I rather enjoy the "WHOA!!!!" noises in the chorus here. I fear the rest of it does not overly stick out to me. more perfectly innocuous pop music

Clouds: this song is sadly SUPER not for me ahaha. it's strange bc I think the bones are there but something about the production isn't for me. I feel like if the sound was rawer and it was produced in a more rockish sense it would absolutely bang. like, strip this down to ONE boy singing the chorus, make the singing a bit grittier, and fuck with the instrumentation a bit, and then we're in business

Change Your Ticket: christ this album is long. [it is at this moment that Bec realizes she selected the "Deluxe" version on spotify. "fuck," she says to herself. well, in for a penny, in for a pound.] I like this one. not in a "it's gonna make it onto my playlists" kinda way, but in a "oh yes this is a fun pop song" kinda way. 7.5/10, would bop around if this was played at a wedding reception.

Illusion: nooooooot for me

Once in a Lifetime: BALLADS B A N I S H E D. but also this song is about the pens core thanks.

Act My Age: ANOTHER SONG I KNOW! AND HAVE LISTENED TO FREQUENTLY! I ENJOY THIS SONG GREATLY. MY FAVORITE PART IS UNFORTUNATELY THE FIRST FIFTEEN SECONDS, WHICH I WISH TO LISTEN TO ON REPEAT. I COULD DO WITHOUT THE SINGING. I'M REALLY HERE FOR THE FIDDLE. FIDDLES4EVER. But also I really like the slower chorus breakdown here aha. I think it works very well, and then it slams so harshly back into that fiddle segment. ugh. so good. don't love the verses here but all is forgiven for the sake of the fiddle.

mission accomplished 👍

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starlostseungmin · 23 days

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HI DARLING OH MYB GOD YOU POSTED IT ALREADY OH MY GOD OMOGOGM im the anon who requested skz x 1d songs im so sorry i locked in the whole day bc i have anatomy finals tomorrow for uni xD

listening to 1d songs as i read it (i miss my 1d boys <//3) fr i was a directioner before i was a stay and this makes me so happy

i agree so HARRRDDDDD perfect and little things are both made FOR chan and BY chan omg you’re so right the way he can be so insecure about himself i just wanna shower him with compliments and remind him that hes beautiful every hour every minute every second of the day </3 and the way you made hyunjin’s last first kiss was PERFECT🥹 i love this song so much (take me home 1d’s best album, i stand by it) han and felix would be the type to be in a fun and adventurous couple doing just about anything and everything and just vibing midnight memories & why dont we go there describes them so perfectly ❤️‍🩹now onto my baby my innie <//////3 both summer love and fool’s gold are so angsty but when u put it this way it is beautiful 💔 i want to for real go on dates with jeongin where we go on picnics and just vibe, or go restaurant hopping and rate their burgers and just be silly together and now i’m realizing he is also so change my mind coded AAAAHHHHH

this is so very delusion inducing and i’m gonna be brainrotting this for WEEKS while listening to 1d songs with a smile on my face again !!! the way you wrote for each member and matched them with one direction songs I AGREE SO HARD i cried you actually posted this bc i’ve been looking through ao3 wattpad and all of tumblr and ONLY YOU did it im so happy this is my 1dxskz crumbs fr THANK YOU SO MUCH 🥹 i’ve been following you since 2022 and have my notifs on HAHAH :D i love ur works and i just wanna know what your favorite one direction song(s) is/are 💗

sorry for yapping i just appreciate this so much xD

HI HI HI OMG GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR FINALS TOMORROW!! YOU'LL DO GREAT 💖

i was actually waiting for your response in regards with the headcanon AAAAND i'm so happy that you loved it!! i was a directioner way back in 2012-2015 tho and i still listen to their songs until now (fr fr i miss them too and has been waiting for a freaking reunion 😭)

it took me hours to find a song that would suit each member, skimmed and scanned every possible songs with their lyrics HSKSKSK i was supposed to write What A Feeling for seungmin, No Control for lee know and Happily for jeongin but yeah 🥹 there are a lot of 1D songs that could describe the members HSKSKSKSKS i wish i could write them all down HAHA hyunjin could be Long Way Down too yk? the one that really got me is Last First Kiss for him and Temporary Fix for changbin, chan is obviously Perfect of course and Lixie has a lot of potential songs, Han too 🫶🏻✨

i appreciate you having to ask me about it, and i apologize it took a while to have it posted here 😭 i wanted to write more of this but i have another series to finish HSJSKSKS too many wips in my google docs too AAAAA and thank you so much for being with me since 2022, for having my notifs on and for loving my works 🥺 i wasn't expecting it, you’re so precious honestly!! ☹️💖

as for my favorite songs, THERE'S A LOT OF THEM LIKE; Love You Goodbye, Infinity, Ready to Run, Why Don’t We Go There, Where Do Broken Hearts Go, More Than This, Half A Heart, I Wish, Moments, They Don’t Know About Us, Olivia, Spaces, Up All Night, Perfect, Best Song Ever and the list goes on 😭😭😭 ooooh and i loved harry and niall btw 😔 how about you? mehehehe

#👤. 𝗮𝗻𝗼𝗻𝘀 #✉️. 𝗺𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘀 #🎀 . 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗹𝘆 — 𝗸𝗲𝗶𝘀𝘆

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periru3 · 1 year

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Part 1 of my commentary on my derpy pokémon drawn from memory.

Original Post - Part 2 - Part 3

1A - Charmander: A+. flawless. a handsome little fella indeed

1B - Charmeleon: got a lil chonky but there is nothing wrong with that

1C - Charizard: the first in the ongoing saga of me not knowing how to draw wings, be they reptilian or avian. Could certainly be worse though

1D - Bulbasaur: my beloved. Doesn’t quite capture bulbasaur’s inherent charm, but I think a decent attempt

1E - Ivysaur: let’s just ignore ivysaur, k?

2A - Venusaur: Is she perfect? No. Do I love her more than words can express? Yes, yes I do.

2B - Squirtle: I think I got the gist, but I honestly expected slightly better on this one.

2C - Wartortle: look, I think we can all agree that my starters’ middle evolutions are all going through a very awkward puberty and the polite thing to do is to ignore them.

2D - Blastoise: Meh.

2E - Weavile: perfect, no notes.

3A - Kakuna: I defy anyone to draw a more detailed kakuna from memory. look, he’s just... a lil.... fucking.... guy! in a pod! I don’t know?!?

3B - Beedrill: I am for sure missing some key elements, but I think I captured the malicious energy of a beedrill quite well actually.

3C - Caterpie: look, ok, let’s all just be nice to my caterpie, okay? he’s doing his best. I went iinto this one very confident and in retrospect that may have been the beginning of the end for this guy.

3D - Metapod: see my notes on 3A

4A-4E - Pidgey, Spearow, and evolutions: in this row I reaffirmed what I have always known to be true, which is that I cannot fucking draw birds.

5A-5B - Doduo and Dodrio: exceptions to the above rules. These guys are perfect.

5C - Gastly: I was feeling really good about this one til I looked up a picture and remembered that gastly has eyes that are so big they extend beyond the confines of it’s head. Given that gastly has very few physical characteristics, I sorta wish I’d remembered that.

5D-5E - Gengar and Haunter: I was today years old when I learned that you can remember the order of these guys (which I always forget cause they all just look totally different from one another) by the fact that they gain limbs every time they evolve. The more you know. Other than the order, though, these fellas are perfect. A++

6A - Chansey: cursed and also not even close. Agonizing failure.

6B - Cubone: not bad, but could stand to be 10000x cuter.

6C - Marowak: absolute trash. She deserved better.

6D - Magikarp: considering my most rewatched episodes of the show by FAR are the ones set on the SS Anne, and also how much I loved Team Rocket’s submarine, I should be, and, in fact, am, ashamed of myself.

6E - Gyarados: this one falls into what may be my favorite category of these, which is “definitely fails in terms of accurate representation, but captures the Vibes™ perfectly”

7A-7B - Horsea and Seadra: You know what? Pretty damn close.

7C - Pikachu: Basically the free space on my bingo card.

7D - Raichu: Not great. Looking at a picture, I’m very sad I failed to remember how cute his ears and lil brown hands are.

7E - Oddish: Flawless, no notes.

8A - Gloom: pretty good, though looking at a picture I am realizing for the first time that gloom has the leaves of oddish which are wilting and receding (and which I forgot) and the mushroomy/flowery bit that vileplume has but smaller. It’s like when the fruit of a plant is growing in and you can see the bits of the flower at the base shriveling up. That’s cool.

8B - Vileplume: Not bad. Could be better.

8C - Tangela: *insert meme of Pam Beesly looking at this guy and the official artwork for tangela and saying “they’re the same picture” here* (also my brothers very first comment when I showed him these was “poor tangela”)

8D - Ditto: one could argue that since ditto can be drawn in 2 lines and 2 dots, the fact that I forgot that his face is squished up at the top of his lil body is, percentage-wise, a pretty huge oversight. In fact, I think I will argue that. Still a lil cutie pie though.

8E-9A - Hitmonchan and Hitmonlee: Honestly shocked at how decent these two came out.

9B - Kangaskhan: Just a fat kangaroo. Strong contender for worst drawing. Hands-down winner for Pokémon I’m most surprised I didn’t forget.

9C-9D - Goldeen and Seaking: Ya know what? not bad. Goldeen could stand to be more weirdly sexy for a fish, but seaking pretty much looks exactly like that.

9E-10A - Tentacool and Tentacruel: I won’t lie, I am not too proud of these two lol. Sorry for forgetting like 12 of your tentacles, tentacruel.

10B-10C - Meowth and Persian: Look, Meowth may be a hideous monster, but he’s also my son and I love him. As for Persian, I’ve never met that monstrosity in my life.

10D-10E - Ekans and Arbok: These fellas are pretty much just snakes. And you know what? That’s accurate and I stand by it.

#pokemon #pokémon #gen 1 #generation 1 #kanto #doodles #fanart #drawings

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ialwaysknewyouwerepunk · 3 years

Text

perfect now - a close reading

only pure and true love for this one. it’s soft and sweet because the one he wrote it for is and needs cheesy uncool romcom soundtrack-worthy affirmations and it’s the most wonderful thing oh my the flurries

some album booklet art for your viewing pleasure

((just a warning for below: while the lyric analysis was kept fairly neutral and close to the words and their meaning, more and more parallels did ensure me larrying out by the time the analysis kicked off so if you’re not into that, you can skip this one!))

⟼ check out @bluewinnerangel ‘s magnificent post with all the parallels to 1d/h&l bc it’s exhaustive and was a source for mine <3 thank you again for your service <3 bc this song really is a fanpiece of every song that has been important to them throughout their career so far, whether they wrote it or not, and it’s honestly kinda impressive

SUMMARY

you’re sad and i love you so much i will do anything to make that undone but while you’re sad know that i sill very much love you and you’re also strong enough to conquer all of this on your own but i’ll be by your side anyway

lyric breakdown ft. the many parallels, incl. little things, through the dark and wmyb

what this says about louis, his partner and the relationship he is in

never gonna dance again frenzy

identity

louis is a marvellous majestic sonofabitch basically <3

walls, track 10

～ little things “you still have to squeeze into your jeans, but you’re perfect to me”

You don’t feel pretty and it’s hard to miss

later lyric: “like a neon sign” - i see through you trying to hide away your insecurities

I wish that you could see my point of view As someone staring back at you

“you” is also staring at him, but perhaps is too insecure to realise how mutual the adoration is

i wish i could get you out of your own negative spiral and give you a look at yourself from my perspective

～ wmyb “everyone else in the room can see it, everyone else but you”

～ wmyb “right now i’m looking at you and i can’t believe you don’t know you’re beautiful”

～ little things “you never love yourself half as much as I love you, and you’ll never treat yourself right darling but I want you to. If I let you know, I’m here for you, maybe you’ll love yourself like I love you”

On Friday night when we’re all out I turn to you and you’re looking down And you don’t wanna dance I know you love to dance You never stop given half the chance

heavy echoes of kmm again, but the opposite: the “nightmare on the dance floor” doesn’t want to dance

when “you” is confident rlly not being subtle with who i think that is, they love to dance <-> tpwk “feeling good in my skin, i just keep on dancing”

“i know you love to dance” = i know what you love bc i love you

“given half the chance”

～ tpwk “giving/given second chances”

given a chance tattoo, making another appearance (see below for more tattoo meltdowns)

Just keep your head up, love, keep your head up

term of endearment <3

～ dlibyh

this album is full of encouragement to keep going and as much as it gives me life it ruins me

Don’t hide away, don’t ever change

“be happy, proud”

～ “just hold on”

“pick someone who’s supportive”

Keep your head up, love, keep your head up Don’t look away, don’t look away

don’t look away from me

～ through the dark “and I can see your head is held in shame”

Cause everybody’s looking at you now, my, oh my

they have the stage to themselves / new career paths they’re doing on their own

could also mean ppl they’re going out with are looking at them, which “you” interprets as sth negative, which makes them self-conscious, while they’re actually admiring them bc they steal the scene

～ wmyb “you’re turning heads when you walk through the door”

I guess some queens don’t need a crown And I know why Even when your tears are falling down Still, somehow, you’re perfect now

“you” is royalty to louis, to put it simply

they don’t need something on their head to make it known to everyone else - they’re a queen and everyone knows it

gendered: female - also used in drag contexts - the only time L has used any gendered word to identify his partner on the entire album (more on this below)

～ steal my girl "she's been my queen since we were sixteen" can't believe i forgot this one thank you @mortalenemiestolovers for reminding me!!!

～ falling

～ through the dark “you tell me that your tears are here to stay”

You never do, but if you asked me to I’ll tell the truth lying next to you

“you” never asks for affirmations directly, but by saying shit like their pants are too tight make it clear enough to L that they do need to hear once in a while that it’s not true

Cause you’re the only one when it’s said and done You make me feel like being someone

Good to you even at your worst

～ always you

i love you so much you are a force of life to me, and even when you hate me i want more

～ drag me down “If I didn’t have you there would be nothing left, the shell of a man who could never be his best. If I didn’t have you, I’d never see the sun. You taught me how to be someone” (sung by louis first, harry second)

～ through the dark “even if you scream and shout, it’ll come back to you and I’ll be here for you

You steal the scene and it’s unrehearsed

reference to working on a stage - their natural presence wins everyone over - that charisma is never manufactured

Don’t you wanna dance? Just a little dance I’ll never stop given half the chance

L keeps encouraging them, will also not pass by any chance to dance with them

Every insecurity, like a neon sign, as bright as day If you knew what you were to me You would never try to hide away

“it’s hard to miss”

L sees through them trying to hide their insecurities, pretend to be strong

～ through the dark “but I know you were only hiding”

SYNTHESIS

Perfect Now is not a fan favorite and I am so not here for that discourse, so please do not pester me with negativity about this chocolate drop of a song.

As others have pointed out, the parallels with other songs written by Louis, Harry or for One Direction are extremely present. Especially Little Things is echoed loudly, but there’s so much more to be read, as you’ve seen. These are songs that are clearly near and dear to Louis, bc he wrote them or bc performing them was special, like with Little Things and What Makes You Beautiful. A lot of the same emotions come back in Louis’s writing, so much so that you can’t help but see the larger story behind it all. Throughout Walls you can hear him singing about not giving up and holding your head high despite hardships, and if you look back at his earlier writing, it’s always been there. Through the Dark is an early and striking example of this style of Louis song: you’re sad and i love you so much i will do anything to make that undone but while you’re sad know that i sill very much love you and you’re also strong enough to conquer all of this on your own but i’ll be by your side anyway

basically through the dark’s chorus:

Oh, I will carry you over Fire and water for your love And I will hold you closer Hope your heart is strong enough When the night is coming down on you We will find a way Through the dark

It is very clear that Louis is faced with a partner - I can freely say it’s Harry now right? are the antis gone by now? i think so - that struggles with his body, with his identity, with how he wants to present himself vs how opinions on that might push him down and dampen his spirit. Louis, always the supportive boyfriend, then tries his best to make him see the light, while keeping that space for his sadness, his struggles, or their joint struggles. Accept the sadness but don’t lose your heart to it.

I’ve linked @bluewinnerangel ‘s post at the start of this post, but I need to stress how good it is once more as I also shamelessly insert a screenshot from it here bc it makes me feel a lot and summarizes perfectly just how deeply Perfect Now is woven into the history of their lives, relationship and especially “you”s/Harry’s personal struggle with their identity/body/confidence...

Because yes, i absolutely think these tattoos are being echoed in the song. “Never gonna dance again” as a lyric and then as a tattoo on Harry’s legs like shackles around his ankles represents the sensation of shame, of being stuck, bc of your desires, bc of your sexuality. Obviously we can never know why Harry got the tattoo, as in what experience pushed him to choose those lyrics or what exactly he recognizes in himself, but it’s safe to say it’s about the struggles of being queer and navigating relationships with that identity and with others.

Most importantly, the sense of shamelessly dancing, dancing like no one’s watching, dancing together with your lover, as a celebration of self, life, love, is the key here. Harry got that tattoo ages ago, at a time when he undoubtedly felt way more stuck. When he couldn’t dance freely the way he wanted to and with whom he wanted to. Perfect Now is a reminder to him, an encouragement to still dance if he wants to, no matter what people say or think. Significantly, then, Harry’s own Treat People With Kindness heavily features that same sentiment, but in an extremely positive light: i have found a place (in life and in myself) where i feel like i have given and was given second chances and now i dance bc i finally feel good in my skin.

Louis has obviously been there from the start, or at least from when or before Harry properly started experimenting with/questioning how he likes to present and how he identifies as. Before he ever dared to consider pulling on a pair of women’s skinny jeans, never mind a ball gown. Louis has seen him limit himself as well as being limited by others ofc and has always seemed to have been there, with a secure hand on Harry’s back, to encourage him. Even at a time when boys wearing nail polish or skirts was unthinkable. Just remember how much encouragement Harry needed when growing out his hair; Louis literally joined him. yes this might make me cry okay i need to stop bc i’m going off track and this is just becoming a larry breakdown while i was trying to hype up this beautiful song.

What I’m trying to say is: Louis has always seen all of Harry. He’s always had his back, no matter what. He’s loved every part of him. And now, on a completely gender neutral album, in the sweetest, softest song off of the entire thing, Louis puts in the word “queen”, and that is so very deliberate it makes me want to scream. It’s Louis confirming his love again and again while affirming the multitudes contained by Harry, including everything involving his gender journey. brb crying

It’s a raw Louis, an honest, sweet, kind, loving partner, and both of them are fucking lucky to have each other, and I also wish that all of us end up in a caring and wholesome relationship like that. I truly do.

#wow i thought this one was gonna be easier #i always do why do i think that???#every time i look closer into l's lyrics i see more depth #this is all just a perfect mushy mess so it's on brand for me #perfect now analysis #lyric analysis #my posts #parallels

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