#but I don’t know if I’m brave enough

[story-book-sillies]

The pain of wanting to make an ageresona or agere oc so you can do art trades and commission art for them because there are so many great Agere artists out there, but not being able to do it because you’re a secret regressor and you’re scared of your friends recognizing your art and finding you out.

#plus I have to be responsible with my purchases #so even if I wanted to commission someone to make one for me I couldn’t get myself to spend the money on it #I mean #nothing is stopping me #I am an artist #I’ve made ocs before #it’s just I don’t want people to see my art on here and recognize me #so I am stuck wishing and wanting and not being able to do anything #plus I have trust issues since there are so many haters lately attacking the Agere community #what if someone calls me out? #for being a regressor! #I don’t know #anxiety is not fun… #I could change my art style enough to where it’s not recognizable #but I don’t know if I’m brave enough #maybe base edits? #especially if I made an agere fursona #I don’t know just having thoughts #anyone else struggling with this? #any suggestions?

[newlesbianprideflag]

The Ace of Pentacles is a powerful card that represents new beginnings, opportunities, and the manifestation of abundance and prosperity.

started the day before it’s due, as I do all things in life, I am nonetheless really happy to submit my card for the @dnptarot project!! thanks so much for setting this all up, it’s been so fun :D

#dnptarot #realized I’m not quite brave enough yet to post this to my main so to my three irls who follow me here: if you see this hi #but genuinely this was so fun and all things considered (all things being I haven’t finished a drawing in a calendar year) #I’m pretty happy w it ! #don’t know why it’s so pixely but I can’t be fucked to fix it rn #Dan and Phil #dnp #phan #phanart

[coredrill]

so like. how many times do you think smith has heard isami say he doesn’t trust bravern and then tried really hard to change that when he becomes bravern only to wind up with the same outcome every single time

#it’s just. like. i love you. i love you. i became this because i love you and you shut me out now that i’m like this #and i’m not brave enough to admit that it’s ME you’re turning away from because it will hurt even more if you know it’s me #and you still turn away but i love you and our hearts match now because i want to keep you safe in mine forever #and i know i can’t be you so i’ll be your armor; your partner; your knight because i love you #and i couldn’t stand the thought of leaving you so our souls brought me back and now i’m this and i’m HERE #i’m right here but you don’t know i’m here and i’m so scared to tell you because what if you don’t want me here? #not like this; not after everything? #jesus fucking christ with enough concentrated essence of super robot anything really IS possible #even getting me to give a shit abt romance. LMFAO #EMBARRASSING!!!!!!!!! #a: bravern #ch: lewis smith #bravern spoilers #t.bbbb #i knew this show was gay but i didn’t expect it to be so queer too #ill-advised post to make probably but ehhhhhh

[a-concert-just-for-me]

Owl House Mutuals + anyone interested in watching TOH, my cartoon watch server has finally gotten to TOH on our list of shows to watch!!! We’re starting the series next Sunday!! AHHHH!!!!!

I’d love to have some more people join!

This server is preferred 18+ and we watch 3 episodes every Sunday at 5:00 pm central standard time. Please feel free to join! Here’s the link: https://discord.gg/ZpTFEwHB

No pressure at all, just tagging some people off the top of my head who could possibly be interested (so that this doesn’t get buried on the dash)

@coffee-n-sleep @unniebeans @probablyhuntersmom @polyhexian @childlikegoblinqueen @professionalprocrastinator597 @c0smicfrontier @thefreewillagency @zyrafowe-sny @oh-cramity-its-amity @uhhhhh I’m definitely forgetting some people so please join anyway if you’d like!

#mutuals my beloved #I don’t know if I’m brave enough to main tag this LOL #okay yeah I’m not going to #everyone’s really sweet in the server and we have fun #there’s only a few of us that regularly watch tbh #again please do not feel obligated to join

[bakubunny]

I would straight up ask #1-25 for both Emet and Thancred, cause I'm freaking curious but I won't get greedy- #1-10 for tragic white-haired ffxiv man of your choice (>ᴗ•)

saved this one for last bc i knew i'd spend a ton of time on it willingly. i'll answer as many as i can for both because why not? gonna start with thancred x wol z’hana because that (self ship) doesn't stray too far outside of canon unlike the soul bond au, and i’ll post emet-selch x wol separately. fair warning tho, i'm not great at writing thancred... hence why there's so little of him in my works... but here we go! ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა

1. Do you get jealous or protective over your partner?

z'hana: i did get a little jealous in the beginning, but now that i know him well, not really. and i only get protective when he's overworking himself. thancred: me, jealous? never. and perhaps i might be more protective if she hadn't already bested me in combat more than once, but i'll never shy away from a fight to keep her safe. (lies. he gets v. jealous.)

2. What are your pet names for each other?

z'hana: babe, darling, sweetheart, handsome, honey thancred: the ones i can share, or the ones i can’t?… (cue glare from z’hana as he grins.) darling, love/my love, sweetheart.

3. What is your idea of a perfect date?

z'hana: i quite enjoy traveling with him. i still remember the time he whisked me away for an evening on scion gil right under tataru’s nose…. she was not happy, but it was an excellent night nonetheless. thancred: i don’t ask for much…. a home cooked meal and the love of my life.

4. What are your names saved in each other phones?

z'hana: thancred thancred: z’hana

5. Do you like cuddling? Why or why not?

z'hana: i enjoy it a lot, but too much and it’s overbearing. thancred: i would agree, i’m much the same.

6. What do you think the others love language is?

z'hana: physical touch thancred: physical touch

7. What’s the one trait about each other that annoys you the most?

z'hana: he still tries to brush things off with bravado and charm, even after multiple years together. thancred: she’s the most stubborn woman i’ve ever met, right after y’stola…. don’t tell her i said that.

8. Coffee or Tea?

z'hana: coffee thancred: coffee

9. What was your first impressions of each other?

z'hana: he was attractive, perhaps a little over confident. thancred: she was pretty. a competent ally.

10. What attracted you to each other?

z'hana: over time, it was our friendship…. it certainly didn’t hurt that he’s a sight for sore eyes. thancred: i should say her tenacity.

11. When did you know you were in love?

z'hana: probably at some point during our time on the first…. it just sort of happened for me. he went from a friend i used to share a bed with to someone i didn’t want to be without. thancred: my time on the first without her there made me realize i’d been a bit of an idiot. once we were reunited, i made a promise to myself that i’d never leave her again if i could help it… though we all know how that turned out in the final days.

13. What's the most noticeable physical attribute of your s/o to you?

z'hana: his back or his smile, i can’t decide. thancred: will i earn another glare if i say her thighs?

14. Spicy: Favorite sexual position?

z'hana: oh gosh, haha. i don’t know, missionary is nice, i suppose? (lies.) thancred: *eyeroll and a grin* she prefers modified doggy or prone bone, but i quite enjoy when she’s on top.

15. Who’s clingier?

z'hana: i am, hands down. thancred: z’hana.

16. What do you two find to be the most attractive about one another?

z'hana: his loyalty, pragmatism, dedication…. he’s steady, whereas i can be a bit high strung and fickle. thancred: i’m going to sound like i’ve gone soft when i say this, but it’s her kindness and strength.

18. PDA? Yes or No?

z'hana: i prefer it, yes. but subtle things, hand holding, maybe a hand on my back or an arm around my shoulder. thancred: early on, we never did. once the rest of our friends (tataru) found us out, we started to be more open about it.

19. How often do you say I love you?

z'hana: frequently. all the time. thancred: i say it when the moment is right.

21. Out of the two of you, who would be the one to kill / get rid of the spider?

z'hana: he is. i hate them. thancred: i am.

22. Spicy What is your secret to getting the other in the mood?

z'hana: oh, you know. *nervous laughter* now that we’re not preventing a world ending calamity, he’s not difficult to get going. perhaps a certain look or turn of phrase. thancred: a kiss or a gentle touch. i’m sure you can figure it out from there.

23. Would you rather never kiss again or go a year without sex?

z'hana: a year without sex. it would be a challenge, but manageable so long as i can kiss him whenever i like. thancred: my drive for intimacy is quite high…. i’ll make the smart decision and defer to her.

24. Would you consider yourself lucky to have found each other ?

z'hana: yes. how could i not? thancred: unbelievably so. in truth, without her, i’d have succumbed to my desire for liquor… though we don’t speak of those days much anymore.

25. What is something your s/o does that cheers you up instantly?

z'hana: he’s quite charming, i’ll give him that; he never fails to make me smile in that regard. thancred: she’s very silly from time to time. her playfulness always brightens my day.

#I know I don’t have to do both but #I love them ur honor #I miss my blorbos so if zaz gives me a chance to gush I’m taking it #technically my original non self insert wol (mizuki) is a lalafell but i’ve only written miqo’te wol #but i digress #maybe someday i’ll be brave enough to take on the criticism but not today #yes i have a different self insert for different aus/ships #I feel like that’s normal but maybe it’s not #ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #wolcred #thancred x wol #thancred waters #warrior of light #self ship #self insert #z’hana #bakubunny #ask games

[copepodkisser5000]

~INTRO TIME~

i go by Synth online. i probably count as a “tumblr old” (been here since 2011, and i’m even older than the source material my f/o comes from). i’m one of these 🏳️‍🌈. i do a lot of arts n crafts, and have commissions open. i’m bad at writing about me.

this is my main selfship sideblog- my main blog and the one i'll follow you from is @leadendeath, mostly furry-oriented but personal too, and if you want more general spunch.b0p-related goodness, i’m over at @1percentevil. if you already know me from those places, you are absolutely fine to follow/interact/whatever. i’m only joking when i call myself cringe or embarrassing :))) i’m unnecessarily self-conscious about every action i’ve ever done ever and i gotta get over it somehow.

This isn’t a faq, more like a “things you might be wondering about”:

“What does your url mean?” -the species plankton are called copepods. yay for having a pre-existing interest in marine bio. the 5000 doesn’t mean anything, i just thought it looks cool. and vaguely technological.

“Plankton is already married…” -anyone who loves Plankton, i also love by extension. That includes Karen! luckily i like computers and robots too very much :)

“So are you okay with sharing him?” -See above. Yes! He needs all the love.

“Anniversary?” -23/7/23. i already knew him from years back, but really reconnected with him when i heard a certain song… it was love at first listen. i’ve had few and far between f/os in the past, and every time it was the same “fall for them hard and fast” situation.

“F/O list?” -just the one guy is all i need. :)

Now here’s where i’ll infodump about my s/i…… eventually lol. When I get round to getting a few sketches I’ve done out of “WIP purgatory”, I’ll post about it under the #🦈 tag. I’m a shark, his best(/only…) customer, then shoulder to cry on, then we progress to more… lil dweeb latches on to the first guy who truly doesn’t consider him a loser. i could be talking about either of them there…

❗i now have a toyhouse page for it! backstory and more here❗

blinkie cred

One little thing which i've started putting on all my "about" pages: i've never stated what i would like people to tag for in all my time on tumblr, but i'm making a change for that now. Please tag #cats and #scars for me, i would appreciate it immensely. i'll tag for anything you'd like too! <3

#i heard the first five tags #are the ones that show up in peoples’ tracked tags #so uhh don’t mind me while i #how you say. make five tags. #so that i can continue to hide a little. #*looks around* …is that it? are they gone?? OKAY GREAT >⨀D #i’m joking #s/i is #🦈 #tag for the two of us is #🦈💚𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘶𝘱 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯💚🦈 #tag for us three is #🦈💚🖥 #i remember to tag unsafe for work a lot but i'm not great at tagging sfw! #regardless i do try to tag sfw in case you want to browse only those type of posts #some things i'm Into which apply to the ship are: #robo #and #gt #if you know what they mean- great! if you don't then don't worry about it :^) #i reply to nice tags by reblogging from prev and replying in the tags... #replies #is where to find those #i won't be brave enough to post my art here; but it'll be under something basic like #my art #ok i think that's about it!

[cashweasel]

What if Valen and Ms Valen were twins? The world would never be able to function. The chaos they'd cause, but also all of us would do whatever they said because... them! (Just a random thought from the day)

Goddd one valen is already a Force,, two of them would be a nightmare 😂 (although they Can and will be very fun sometimes loll),, they’re enablers to each other and headaches to everyone else kskdjjffk and yeah it’s double the hotness but good luck if they both like you you’re in danger💀

I held onto this ask for a while and then decided yknow what? I should draw about it so I did (ft gideon, their bf, bff and favorite victim kakdjfjfj rip💀💀)

#I’m DEAD #dani tysm for this ask I hope you know this has been a subject for very interesting conversations and headcanons 😂💗 #literally crying @ gideon idk how he does it but he’s so brave #or ig he’s just that powerful #doesn’t mean he’s not constantly going thru it tho loll #also I know these bitches beef with a lot of ppl and a lot of ppl beef with them #anyways sibling goals 😌💓💓 #i don’t think I’m strong enough to actually make them twins but yk maybe there’s an au for them out there lol #ask #my ocs #oc: valen isilien

[pebblezone]

Rocking. Rocking and rolling.

#talkingcore #hellsing #a #hiiiiiiiiiiii.. #have been distracted by refreshing toh spoilers on Twitter #they really have a housing crisis on their hands #every few months I’m allowed to go into gender crisis just to loop back around into ‘ig this is fine..’ #never a matter of Me not knowing but more so Do I Feel Like Explaining ‘Dyke’ As A Gender To Anyone beyond like. 5 people? nahhhhhhhh #nothing to see here nothing noteworthy scroll soooo fast ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ actually don’t or so idk free will #not brave enough to utter aloeseras

[inkykeiji]

i keep reading that lil story u shared and that’s just so heartbreakingly cute(?) idk,, i’m sending him good vibes

aw anon!!! 🥺🥺🥺 this is really sweet :(( i understand what you mean! it’s stuck with me for years, especially the way he said it like the ‘i can’t—i can’t take you out just yet’ was so,,, honestly i don’t even have a word to describe it. really earnest, maybe? not desperate or begging but a genuine hey, i’m getting out of here soon and i’d really love to take you on a date the moment i can. i dunno, it was really endearing! i really do wanna write something inspired by it 🥺 i sincerely hope he’s doing wonderful <3

#i literally said ‘i have a boyfriend; i’m really sorry’ because he was so aaah i dunno yeah it really is that like risking it to just catch #up to me for a moment and talk to me #i think it was also just that hopeful note in his voice #like almost proud that he’d be leaving soon—which he should be!!! #that’s awesome #it takes a lot of bravery to be there and go through their programs etc #my dad could never make himself go through rehab so i have a lot of respect and admiration for the people who were brave enough to do it #people don’t understand how terrifying it is to do that and the strength you need to stick with it #so really hope this guy is absolutely flourishing now #sending him tons of love #probably would’ve said yes to him had i been single tbh #anyway anon!!! i’m glad this story touched you! i don’t know why it was on my mind today but i wanted to share it #because it has touya vibes #dabi was out presumably homeless on the streets from ages 16-24 so #i’m rambling i shall stop now #i hope thursday has been treating u well!! <3 #stay safe n drink water bb <3 #inky.bb #clari gets mail

[afieldinengland]

.

#i feel like i��m going to be sick #i can’t do anything right i’m so lazy. inept #i’m the only one brave enough to give myself the punishment i deserve #can someone tell me i’m doing things right. even if it’s a lie #there’s this terrible feeling that i’ve wasted the break and i’m not equipped to face what’s coming. and i don’t know what to do

[mrsdulac]

okay so I’m looking into VC characters and I hope I’m just reading too much into it but they better not give the David Talbot body swap situation to Daniel in the show

#the more i read into david #the more i fear that’s what’ll happen to daniel in the show #and I don’t want these #just LET eric be a vampire please #for the love of god #it’s what we all deserve #and frankly i WANT to see an older vampire #we NEVER get those #i know every vampire ever made was not young and hot with a snatched waist 😤 #i want to see him giving all the other vampires shit for eternity #and doing it as the youngest vampire in the room despite looking like the oldest #frankly i want more eric bogosian too because he’s amazing #I’m so enamored with the daniel we have #I’m gonna be so upset if they change him altogether #dammit amc you were brave enough to make him old #now be brave enough to keep him old and crotchety for eternity #iwtv #daniel molloy

[floral-hex]

Made some coffee because I need the boost

Going to go shave off my beard next because I like the occasional clear cut before growing it back and also no one ever sees me so it won’t matter how baby faced I am for the next week.

Going to stupidly retry buspirone later tonight. If you’ve followed my “lore” (and I’m sorry if you have), the last time I tried it over a few days, it only gave me extra anxiety and made me feel hot and incredibly uncomfortable. Maybe that was a fluke. Maybe it was interacting with the antidepressants I had just upped my dose of. Regardless, we’ll give it another shot and if it goes bad again, I’ll just take a couple benadryls, conk out, and not worry about them again.

Okay, I love you.

#my anxiety has just been nasty lately #I’m working on the logical mental part of that but a good chunk of my anxiety & depression is due to unchangable health problems #so for those worries I can’t reason away I’m relying on medication #and I think I’m ‘brave’ (or foolish) enough to give buspar another shot #i don’t want to take a benzo or anything tonight #I took 2 klonopins last night and that seemed pretty nice but I don’t want to make that a habit #especially since doctors don’t want to prescribe them unless really really necessary #so for tonight I’ve got my second cup of coffee and I’m working on distracting myself #gonna shave off this gross beard and if I could I’d cut off my long hair #my hair is too long! #I know that’s blasphemous to say but dang it’s getting to be a bit much #also my therapist said I need to apply for jobs before our next meeting #I don’t want to (fingers crossed) get a job interview just to roll in with this gross hair #NOT THAT HAIR IS GROSS! I love you hairy people! #but I’m bad at trimming facial hair and I haven’t had a haircut in… half a year? more? #so I’m all split ends and uneven trims #and I sweat easily so I need to chop some of this all off before it gets too hot #why am I writing all of this? it’s not pertinent or important or exciting or #so anyway how are you doing? #I need more mutuals who spend ungodly amounts of time on this app #not to talk to. I suck at talking. I just like seeing people on here. doing their thing. being alive. interacting with them. it’s nice. #okay this is enough rambling #ok i love you take it sleazy #you can ignore this #text

[rose-colored-something]

Immediately after leaving a party with my family members: “I’d love to talk later if possible?”

5 hours later: radio silence

#like okay 👍 #I’ve specifically told him MANY times before that ‘we need to talk’ type shit is insanely anxiety inducing to me #I responded to the message and it’s marked read so I know he saw it #but I’m not brave enough to text again and ask like whatever the conversation is I definitely don’t want to have it #probably some shit about my family again #megs posts

[dogkin]

I am witnessing an inability to do things I haven’t had before. I can’t lift myself off this couch, I just can’t. I can’t do the dishes, and they’ve been piling up for a week. I get worried and stressed and that might be enough to make me do them but I can barely do them of my own volition anymore. When I do wash them, there’s pain in my abdomen nearly every single time. Every time I do something barely physical to do with the dishes I get to hurting and have to bend over and just whimper sometimes to get through with it.

I lose interest in things quickly now, I haven’t finished so many series and games.. gaming and watching stuff is fun but I get stressed when I think that my parents will be mad at me. I’m getting thinner, I can feel my ribs now. They ache sometimes. My body feels fatigued because of this occasionally, and I feel sick and nauseous when I don’t eat but I can’t make myself eat. If there’s not anything of interest I just won’t eat. And maybe even then. I lose and have lost interest in most things I used to love eating. There are only a few select foods I crave now. Eating isn’t enjoyable like it used to be. It’s just a task.

I wait the days away for something to happen, for it to get better all on its own like it used to. That time doesn’t come. I refrain from asking my parents for help because they didn’t help me last time so why should they listen to me now. I have to restrain myself from looking at things that would bother me as a form of self harm. But I’d never really self harm, not physically at least.

I want things to get better, but I’m making no effort for that to happen and it just keeps getting worse. I keep getting sadder again, I’m relapsing and I’m getting thinner. I’m just going day by day, meal by meal, hour by hour, and minute by minute. Waiting for the times when I’m happy, trying to distract myself when I’m sad, and trying to just keep my mind off of how I’m not improving. Nothings getting better. And I’m losing the strength to help myself.

#mine #oliver.txt #I wanna rely on someone else. I’ve spent all this time relying on myself to feel better #and it’s worked all this time #I’ve made myself happier along with the help of others loving me #but I can’t just look on the bright side anymore to make myself happy. I wanna get better #but nothings happening and I don’t know if I’m brave enough to make it better. #This is less of a vent and more of a list of symptoms. #But just in case: #vent #ask to tag #ed ment

[vikos-world]

I have so many ocs that I made because of my friend

most of them being my hero and I have 4 little demon slayers

i wish I wasn’t such a wimp and I could post them more, I have toyhouse so I’ll probably do so there

but I also have a demon oc that’s 100% my own named Clemmy:3 I think people would like him

#Just rambling here! I wish I was brave enough to post oc shit on tiktok or somethin #v rambles #Maybe I’ll share Clemmy on here #He’s like early 2000s fashion based oc like goth and scene #I have a whole system for my world #Maybe I’ll post my mha ocs I’m just worried people will think their cringe and I don’t think so but what do I know #EVERYONE ALWAYS HAS HOT AND BEAUTIFUL OCS #ONE OF MINE IS LITERALLY MADE FROM A DREAM AND DESIGNED BASED OFF A PURPLE ONION

[thesungod]

the problem is that at the end of the day i wanted to be a doctor but i don’t have the self discipline confidence academic capability courage and memory to go through medicine and residency and i’ll do physical therapy which is cool and i like it a lot but i wanted to be a doctor and i’m scared i’ll always be partially unsatisfied. maybe i should have changed field all together to numb the pain rather than choosing a career where i literally work with and see doctors all day. but i wanted to not starve lmao

#even if. even if. i tried the entrance tests again which won’t happen #i would fail #i literally am not good at that shit #i got into PT school by a miracle those types of tests kick my ass #i’ve already tried twice and both went :/ #but let’s pretend i get in #i don’t have the self discipline to study as much as med students do all day #i can literally manage 2-3 hours on a good day!!! #my brain just doesn’t work like fucking that!! i would fail #but let’s pretend i manage to do the six years #i’d be a horrible doctor #i’m not fucking brave enough and stable enough and i would care!!! a lot but i’m dumb #wonder how soon i’d be sued for malpractice for making a mistake lol #and the constant anxiety?? #yet… yet #i’ll always grieve it #it’s just something i have to get over with but i know i’ll never be fully satisfied with anything else #i’m afraid that one day by a miracle i’ll graduate PT and i’ll be like oh cool ig #because it wasn’t what i wanted deep down #i like it!!!!! but :/ #also it’s often not taken seriously and it can be pretty disheartening to see people’s opinion on it #i’m sad #i’m a sad girl #vent tag