#but I can also see how it's intended to come across as playful. like.

[vimbry]

jumping off the back of the post about genres of song lyrics, another thing about tmbg's lyrics in particular is that even when they write about pleasant themes, they still manage to frequently do so through a sinister lens:

the experience of having children and looking after them:

a nice little nightlight protecting a child muses on the shortcomings it would have outside its assigned responsibility:

fantasising about getting high in the park with your crush:

#tmbg #AND. I love it. #please feel free to add to this btw. I feel like there's more flansburgh examples but they're dropping out of my head #I've gone on and on about ''sleeping in the flowers'' already. so I won't repeat myself too much in the tags here #but I can also see how it's intended to come across as playful. like. #it's two people in love having a silly exchange between each other #I also like the little interlude from the nightlight's lullaby-of-sorts to the child to describing how it would make a really bad lighthous #''man it's a good thing I'm not one of those. I'm too small. if I did that then people at sea would crash and drown horribly hahaha #anyway good night'' #and actually re: nanobots. it only just occurred to me #I'd gotten 'newborn citizenship of the micronations'' being a verbose way to describe. babies lol #but is the start of verse about the actual birth of a child and getting so distracted by the preparation and stress #that you almost forget oh yeah. I have this kid now :) #and thinking about how even tho your worries around that are now over you'll focus instead on all the future responsibilities you'll have #how does something written in such a detatched way manage to be so sweet

[onlyhuis]

cranberry concoctions

member | bartender!joshua x f!reader genre | smut, a little angst & a little fluff, 1920s prohibition au, speakeasy au word count | 4.6k synopsis | you came to the infamous diamond glass looking for a good cocktail. instead, you found love in a hot bartender who also makes the best cosmos you’ve ever had. warnings | reader has a vagina and breasts, alcohol consumption (drink responsibly kids), reader smokes cigarettes (only 2), big dick joshua, the sex is not historically accurate sorry, actually most of this isn't historically accurate oops, praise, some degredation, multiple orgasms, name calling/petnames (slut, whore, darling, sweetheart, baby, my lady), kinda size kink maybe (he has big hands i'm sorry i can't not mention it), creampie notes | lowercase intended. this is part of rose's sax, settlements, & speakeasies collab! masterlist will be linked here. this fic has taken so long but it's finally finished!! thank you all for your patience!!

you slip into one of the many empty seats at the bar, placing your beaded evening bag on the counter and pulling out a cigarette with a sigh.

“what can i get you, darling?”

you glance up to see a man in a crisp white button-down, casually swiping a rag along a glass mug.

“what kinda cocktails you got?” you reply, pushing the cigarette between your teeth.

“anything you can dream up, honey.”

you pause, taking the cigarette out of your mouth to think. “how about… cranberry juice, with vodka, and triple sec? and a little lime?”

he grins. “coming right up.”

he grabs bottles from the long shelves behind him, setting them back on the counter in front of you before pulling a cocktail glass from below the bar. 

you slip the cigarette back into your mouth, your eyes following his movements as you pull your lighter out of your bag. you flip the arm up and flick the wheel, creating a tall flame that ignites with a pop, and you bring it carefully up to the end of the stick.

he pushes his sleeves up, revealing a small tattoo of what looks like a diamond on the inside of his wrist. your gaze catches it for a moment before your eyes flick up to find his looking back at you. 

with his sleeves rolled up, you don’t miss the way his muscles bulge against the tight cotton of his dress shirt. he tosses the container effortlessly from one hand to the other. the tendons in his wrist flex as he flips the shaker back and forth, a gleam in his eye and a confident grin on his face as the bottle twirls between his fingers. you take a long drag and give him a smile.

“cool tricks you got there,” you say, sitting back in your seat.

“i spent a year abroad at school in london,” he beams, holding the mixer high in the air and tilting it slightly to let the pink liquid fall into your glass. “picked up a thing or two.”

he tops off the drink with a lime swirl, sliding it gently across the counter. you hold your cigarette between two fingers as you lift the glass to your lips, taking a small sip.

“mm,” you nod, smiling. “ ‘s good.”

the dark room is quiet save for the light chatter from other patrons and the sultry piano music coming from the opposite side of the room. it’s late in the evening—well, by now, more like morning—and the speakeasy is mostly empty. you’re the only one at the bar, and you’re also the only one here alone, noticing the few couples scattered around the room in booths, drinking and laughing together.

you sigh and take another drag off your cigarette.

“you waitin’ on someone, sweetheart?” the bartender asks with a sly smile, tossing the rag behind the bar. “boyfriend, perhaps? or a coworker? can get their drink ready for them, if you’d like.”

you scoff, resting your hand on the counter above an ashtray. “do you often get women comin’ in here by themselves, mister?” 

he leans back against the bar and crosses his arms, but the playful gleam in his eyes tells you he isn’t offended. “not as often as i get pretty ladies like yourself in here,” he flirts. “and the name’s joshua. joshua hong.”

you stick out your hand to shake his, telling him your name. “so, joshua, what do you do? other than serve fancy drinks to pretty ladies, of course,” you say, taking another sip of your cocktail. damn, that is good. your friend wasn’t lying when she said that the diamond glass had the best drinks around.

“nothin’ much,” he shrugs. “i like to sing, sometimes. but not anything special. just a hobby.” he hands you a napkin, to wipe up the drops of your drink that splashed out onto the counter when you bumped it. “what do you do when you’re not ordering fancy drinks from sexy gentlemen?”

“thanks,” you say, squinting at him as you take the napkin, the name of the speakeasy embossed on it in pretty gold lettering. “and who ever said you were a gentleman?”

he smiles. “let me take you out to dinner and i’ll show you.”

your eyes widen, though you try to hide your reaction. “is that so, mister joshua?”

“mhm. and you never answered the question.”

you huff and raise an eyebrow at him. “how ‘bout i tell you over dinner instead?”

you take another big sip of your drink and look down at your watch to check the time. “shit,” you curse under your breath.

you look up and meet joshua’s eyes, standing patiently behind the bar. “i’ve got work in the morning– er, in a coupl’a hours,” you offer in way of explanation. “gotta run.”

“i see,” he nods, his features falling into a faux-serious expression. “the mysterious work.”

“better hold me to that dinner if you wanna find out,” you reply with a laugh as you pull on your coat. 

he grins. “oh, i will, darling.”

you pull your bag off the counter and go to take out some bills, but a large hand falls on your wrist and you freeze.

“on the house,” he says with a grin, letting go of your hand and sliding your empty glass across the counter. “come find me if you ever want some company, and we can set up that dinner, hm?”

you nod at him, unable to hide the hint of a smile growing on your face. “i’ll do that.”

the next time you visit the diamond glass, the place is packed.

it’s earlier in the evening this time, so you aren’t too surprised, but you didn’t think there were this many people who’d break the law to come here in search of a little fun. but, then again, isn’t that why you’re here too? a little fun, a little drinking, and hopefully a little more flirting with joshua, if you can manage to find him again.

the bar’s crowded, and you can barely manage to find a place to slip in between all the occupied stools. you crane your neck to look around, searching to see who the bartender working tonight is. this time there’s not one but two men in stiff white uniforms, handing out bottles of beer and pouring wine for the patrons at the other end of the bar. you can’t see either of their faces, so you lean against the counter and pull out a cigarette while you wait.

you’re leaning down putting your lighter away when you hear a familiar voice call your name.

“didn’t think i’d see you back here so soon,” joshua says when you look up, meeting his eyes.

“came to collect on my free dinner, of course,” you reply with what you hope is a teasing smile.

he chuckles. “well, i hate to break your heart, darling, but i’m a little busy at the moment. how ‘bout i get you a drink instead?”

“fine by me.”

“same as before?” he asks, already reaching for a glass.

you pause to put your cigarette to your lips. “sure, why not. show me more of those gentleman bartender skills you like to show off.”

he starts pouring liquor into the shaker as he continues to talk. “i’m sure i’ve got other skills you’d like a lot better than my drink mixing, sweetheart. maybe i’ll show you after that dinner we keep talkin’ about.”

you suck in a sharp gasp of air, accidentally inhaling a mouthful of smoke and sending you into a coughing fit. you grab a napkin to cover your mouth with as you struggle to regain your composure, feeling your cheeks grow hotter by the second.

joshua just smiles, clearly amused by your reaction as he slides you your finished drink. “well, don’t lose your cool now, miss, i haven’t even done anything fancy yet. gotta give me a chance to wow you like a gentleman.”

you clear your throat, hoping your voice sounds at least a little levelheaded. “how very courteous of you, mister joshua. i–”

you’re definitely about to come up with the wittiest of comebacks, is what you tell yourself before you’re interrupted by a group of flapper girls, talking loudly as they walk up to the bar.

“and that’s when i told him, ‘if you don’t stop necking on with that sob sister from the newspaper’s, we’re through!’ he really thought i wouldn’t see through that baloney, screwing that reporter and then coming home to me as if he could have us both!”

the group bursts out laughing, and joshua looks over at them, then looks back at you. “mind if i go get these ladies seated, darling? then we can finish our conversation.”

you stutter out a “sure” and he gives you a wink as he walks away. even over the ruckus of the speakeasy, you can still hear him greet the girls, and it makes you irritated for reasons you can’t explain.

“well hi there, girls! how’s the partying goin’ for you all on this fine evening, and how can i make it better?”

the chorus of flirty, drawn out “hello”’s from the group makes your stomach churn, though you have no reason to care. it’s this man’s job to flirt with customers to make an extra buck and keep this joint running. to him, you’re probably just another broad with money to throw away on booze.

you turn around to see one of the drunker girls hanging on joshua’s arm, laughing at something he’s said like he’s the funniest man on the planet. the sight is enough to push you over the edge, and you down your drink in a huff, slipping a bill under the empty glass as you walk out of the speakeasy, pretending your feelings aren’t hurt.

you wake up the next morning feeling guilty about the night before. sure, you probably did overreact, but it had been a long day at work, getting badgered by your boss for no reason other than the fact that he didn’t like having women employees in his office.

and joshua seemed like a nice man, and even if he was just trying to earn some tips, at least he was friendly. 

so that night, you put on your finest dress and head back to the diamond glass, hoping for the chance to talk to him again.

but as you walk across the bar, you see that there’s only one bartender at the counter, and it’s not joshua. he looks vaguely familiar, so you figure he must’ve been the other bartender working with him the other night.

“hey,” you call out to him as you sit down, and he turns to face you, black hair falling into his eyes. 

“how can i help you, miss?”

“what’s your name?” you ask him straight away, and he furrows his brows.

“it’s vernon, miss, but i don’t see—”

“you work with a fella named joshua?”

vernon rests his hands on the counter, leaning towards you. “i do indeed, but he ain’t here right now. it’s his day off.”

you frown. well. that messes with your plans.

“you gotta pen?” you ask, grabbing a napkin from the stack.

he pulls a pen from his breast pocket and twists it open, handing it to you. you scribble something quickly on the napkin, then cap the pen and hand it back to him.

you fold up the napkin and give it to vernon. “when you see him again, can you give this to him for me? it’s real important, make sure he gets it.”

he looks confused, but he shoves the pen and napkin into his pocket. “i’ll make sure it does.”

you nod soberly and stand up from the stool.

“wait– d’you want anything to drink, miss?”

you shake your head, shouldering your purse. “no. that’s all i came for.”

and with that you walk back out the door, frustrated but at least a little more hopeful.

joshua, sorry for taking off last night. phone me and we can do that dinner if you’d still like. #: SE-0317

the wait for joshua’s phone call is unbearable, so instead of pacing by the telephone you try to busy yourself with something more productive: getting work done for your hard-boiled boss. 

but even the pressure of his deadlines is enough to take your mind off what you’ve done. in fact, you don’t even know for sure if he’s single. for all you know you could be trying to screw a married man (though you didn’t notice a ring on his finger, but who can ever know for sure these days?)

the worst part is, you don’t even know for sure if he’s going to phone you, or if he even got your message. vernon seemed like a trustworthy guy, but maybe he and his coworkers get people like this all the time. maybe they’re having to fight off hordes of drunk, horny women with a stick. you scoff, thinking back to the last time you were at the speakeasy. that was certainly the case the other night with the flappers.

in all honesty, joshua was probably just being friendly, trying to make a repeat customer out of you. which he was successful in, of course; he had you hook, line, and sinker, and you didn’t even care. of course his offer to wine and dine you wasn’t genuine: it was a line, one he’d probably used on dozens of people, and you had fallen for it.

you’re so far deep in your own thoughts, you almost miss the sound of the telephone ringing in the other room; until you realize there’s no one else that would be calling you at this hour in the evening.

in a panic you scramble out of your chair, sprinting to the kitchen to grab the call.

“hello?” you answer, a little breathless but still holding onto hope.

“hi, sweetheart. thought you weren’t gonna pick up.”

you breathe out a sigh of relief at the man on the other end. maybe he really was sincere about everything after all, though you still don’t truly believe it.

“are you finally gonna take me out like you keep saying, or are you just tryin’ to get me to buy more drinks?” you ask, hoping he doesn’t hear the shake of nerves in your voice.

“‘course i am, baby. i don’t just go around offering dinner to every woman i meet at work, y’know.”

your cheeks warm, and you hold the receiver closer to your ear with a smile. “flattery will get you nowhere, joshua hong, but i won’t deny it, i like to hear it.”

he laughs, and it’s a beautiful sound, one that you find yourself wishing you could hear in person.

“there’s a new restaurant on the main drag that i’ve heard’s real fancy,” he starts. “been meaning to try it, so i might as well take my pretty lady along with me, too, hm?”

you chuckle, leaning against the doorframe and twirling the phone cord between your fingers. "your pretty lady, huh?"

"wouldn't say it 'f it wasn't true. you've got me wrapped around your little finger, miss," he says, and you have to bite the back of your hand to stop yourself from letting out an embarrassing noise in response.

he clears his throat, interrupting the silence on the line. “anyway, if you'd like, the speakeasy’s closed tonight for the holiday… could bring you back behind the bar after our dinner, show you a thing or two. although i got plenty of other nice things i could show you besides the drinks.”

"sounds like you got a grand evenin' planned, joshua," you say finally, swallowing your excitement.

"only for you, doll," he says, and even over the shaky static of the call you can hear the grin in his voice. "can i pick you up at 6 o'clock? just had my car waxed too; only the best for my lady."

"six is nice," you reply, still smiling.

"i'll see you then, sweetheart," he says, and the line goes silent as he ends the call. 

exhaling a shaky breath, you put the receiver back on the hook and check the time on the clock across the room. better go fix your makeup before he gets here.

at 6 o'clock sharp joshua’s car rolls up in front of your apartment, freshly waxed and polished just like he'd said. 

the drive to the new restaurant isn't far, but it feels like it stretches on for hours as you and joshua talk about anything and everything.

as for dinner, it by far isn't the best meal you've ever had, but your date's company more than makes up for the mediocre food.

as promised, after the dinner joshua drives you over to the speakeasy, using his key to open the back entrance where customers aren't allowed and lets you inside. it's an odd feeling, being alone in the space that's normally bustling with activity.

you slide into a seat at the counter as joshua grins, walking to the opposite side to stand behind the bar.

"sorry, miss, we're closed today," he says with a playful grin. "you'll have to come back tomorrow."

you giggle, playing along. "oh, but please, sir, can't you spare just a little glass of wine for me?"

the restaurants aren't allowed to serve alcohol, but even without it you feel tipsy in joshua’s presence, high on the excitement of being with him with nobody else around.

he places his hands on the counter and leans forward, his gaze meeting yours. "hmm, i could… but i think i have something better i could give you instead."

"better than wine?" you ask, pretending to be shocked. although if you've been reading this right like you think you've been, you have a feeling you know what he might be offering.

"mhm," he says, and he lifts a finger to beckon you closer.

you grin and lean forward to meet him across the counter, his lips locking with yours, and the feeling is heavenly. almost instantly you feel his hands behind your head, pulling you closer as he deepens the kiss. you tell yourself to fight the urge to moan, but when his lips part just enough to let his tongue slide into your mouth, all your inhibitions go out the stained-glass speakeasy windows and you decide, screw it, whatever happens, happens; not when you're having the most fun you've had in a long time and not when his touch feels this good.

he breaks away for just a second and to your surprise, jumps onto the bar and slides across, and then his hands are back on your body and he's kissing you more fervently than before.

"say the word and i'll stop, sweetheart," he moans, he really moans, but the thought of stopping doesn't even cross your mind as you pull him closer and lift your leg to wrap it behind his thigh.

before you know it, your back is against the counter and joshua is hovering over you. his large hands gently knead your breasts over the fabric of your dress and his mouth is still tangled with yours as you begin to feel heat pooling in your stomach.

"god, you drive me crazy," he breathes when your hands find his body and start to slide lower. you look up at him, one hand hovering carefully over the uncomfortably large bulge in his pants.

"please, joshua?" you ask softly, squeezing lightly around him and drawing another whine out of his gorgeous lips.

the second you hear his throaty "yes", your fingers are scrambling to undo his belt buckle and shoving his slacks down to his knees. his fingers are equally rushed, sliding over your back and quickly undoing the buttons holding up the fabric that hides your beautiful skin from his sight.

your breath hitches as he carefully slips the dress off your shoulders, watching as his eyes wander over you. he meets your eyes, fingers toying with the hem of your panties, and you nod, giving him permission.

“you’re even prettier than i imagined,” he whispers. his hands trail down your chest, mapping out every inch of your naked body.

his words barely even register, because you’re too busy staring at his hard cock. you figured he would be beautiful, but nothing you could’ve dreamed up in your wildest dreams would have even come close to what’s in front of you now. 

you reach out and take his cock in your hand, holding him delicately and observing the way his eyes flutter shut. he lets out a soft sigh at your touch, and his hands settle at your waist for a moment before he reaches to grab your hand. 

it doesn’t escape you how tiny your hand looks in comparison to his; while your fingers could barely reach all the way around his cock, his hand easily covers the space. the sight is almost hypnotizing. you carefully let go, bringing your hand up to the counter to brace yourself.

he leans down to capture your lips in another kiss, and you moan as you feel the head of his cock begin to brush through your soaking folds. he breaks away, and you look up into his dark eyes, waiting.

“been stuck on you since the first time i saw you, sweetheart,” he groans, and you feel the heat in your core grow hotter at his admission, knowing he’s been wanting this just as much as you have.

he curses under his breath, and finally he starts to fill you up. the stretch is perfect as he rocks his hips slowly back and forth, pushing into you a little more with each movement. his brows knit together in concentration, and his lips firmly press into a thin line as his gaze zeroes in on your pussy.

you look down where he’s watching, and you also can’t help but fixate on the sight of his girthy cock inside you. he’s not even nearly halfway inside you yet, but the feeling is already making you dizzy with pleasure. seeing him stretching you open, you feel the knot in your stomach begin to tighten almost instantly.

with his sleeves rolled up, you can clearly see the definition in his muscles, flexing as his hands slide across your half-clothed figure. his thick fingers hook around the straps of your bra, tugging them further down your chest to expose your breasts. he pushes his thumb into your mouth, and immediately you begin to suck on it.

he laughs, pulling his thumb out of your mouth and smearing your own spit across your nipple. “such a whore. should’ve known you would like that, my pretty slut.”

you let out a moan at his words, unintentionally clenching around him as he continues to push into you. you feel his grip on your thighs tighten, enough that you know it’ll leave bruises.

your first orgasm hits you out of nowhere when joshua bottoms out in you. the feeling of his cock sitting snugly inside of you, filling you up to the brim and then some, is enough to send you over the edge without warning. joshua curses, your cunt squeezing around his cock as you ride through your high.

“fuck, just like that, baby,” he grunts through gritted teeth, his other hand snaking down to rub at your clit. “cum all over my cock like my good girl.”

when you recover enough to breathe again, you look up to find joshua staring down at you, eyes blown wide with lust. his fingers are still on your clit, your only source of stimulation since he had stopped moving his hips once he was fully inside you.

he meets your eyes and begins to drag his cock out of you, just barely pressing an inch or two into you with slow, meticulous thrusts.

he gradually begins to build up speed, his cock perfectly hitting every sensitive part inside of you until you can’t think straight. you let your eyes close, mouth falling open in pleasure at his pace.

“god, you look so pretty when you cum,” joshua growls, and it feels like you stop breathing altogether as another orgasm slams into you, his words drawing your high out of you like a command.

this time he doesn’t give you a moment to recover, instead pulling nearly all the way out before pushing into you with so much force, you can feel him moving you back and forth across the counter with each thrust, the smooth oak grain growing sticky with sweat with each sharp snap of his hips.

already sensitive from two powerful orgasms, you cry out his name, dragging your nails along his biceps placed on either side of your face as he holds onto the counter. his thrusts get rougher, plunging into you over and over again and already beginning to build you up for another.

“sh-shua, please,” you gasp, reaching out to grab onto his shoulders for support.

the drag of his cock against your walls feels heavenly, quickly sending you hurtling into yet another orgasm that has your legs trembling around his waist. the waves of pleasure seem almost never-ending as his hips jerk into you sporadically, until finally he throws his head back and buries himself as deep as he can go inside of you, his pelvis flush against your cunt. his cock pulses inside you as his orgasm hits, feeling each spurt of cum fill you up, a satisfying feeling like you can’t even fathom.

breathing hard, you manage to drag your eyes away from where the two of you connect to glance up at his face, and the sight is one you’ll never forget: his thick eyebrows knitted tightly together and his nose scrunched up, his beautiful lips parted in a breathy, high-pitched whine.

the bar is quiet, but your ears are ringing and your head is spinning from everything that just happened. joshua stands over you, his cock still nestled in you as he breathes in and out shallowly, trying to catch his breath. you stay still, too exhausted to move until you feel his cum start to drip down your leg and you force yourself to sit up.

but his arms wrap around you, holding you tightly and you stop. you feel so secure, so grounded, despite your shaky legs dangling off the edge of the counter.

he sighs and begins pressing kisses along your neck, though this time they’re softer and gentler, instead of frantic and heated.

he kisses you once more on the cheek, then walks around to the other side of the bar to grab a towel.

“sorry about the mess,” you say shyly, reaching down to pick up your dress off of one of the barstools it had landed on. 

he comes back around, towel in hand, and kisses you again. “don’t be,” he grins, and he squats down so that he’s eye-level with your cunt, his cum still leaking out of you. you resist the urge to snap your legs closed as he gently wipes the damp towel over your skin, a little embarrassed despite him being inside you no more than a couple of minutes ago.

once he’s satisfied he lifts you up off the counter, setting you gently on the floor and helping you into your dress before putting his own clothes back on.

you slide onto a stool, watching him fondly as he walks back around to the other side of the bar and picks up another towel to wipe off the counter with.

“so,” he says finally, rolling up his sleeves with a cocky smile that makes your stomach do backflips. “what can i make you, darling?”

> sax, settlements, & speakeasies taglist | @yoongihan @onlyseokmins@emilyhadenbaker @duhnova @joshibambi @xufilmz @darl-ings @etedesfleurs @ryanrossfucker @shiningstar-byulxx @amysays13 @jun2u @gyusdoll @yzekim @darthlunaa @just-here-to-read-01 @baldi-2 @drink-my-soul @burningupp-replies @knucklesdeepmingi @tinkerbell460 @rebeccasficrecs @moshiyuron @renjunphile @minnie-mouser22 @kyeomsworld @myun9ho @sonicbananawithbowtie @hanniehae831 @alglrk @denacey @alibraryfulloffanfics @amiga-qmilagraso @lemoniequu @melenakrownapple1703 @hansolaria @notmels @brrrlamborgini @tyongff-ff @lenireads @monamonay @1004luvangel @ateezworlds @prodsh00ky

> onlyhuis taglist | @wonderfulshinee @noniestars @onlymingyus @darlingvernon @wonuziex @enhacolor @yourfavoritefreakyhan @dkakapizzaboy @zozojella @rainyjeno

> strikethrough means your blog cannot be tagged, please check your visibility settings

> join my taglist here!

i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it lets me know this is something people want to see more of and it helps a ton with being motivated to write. thanks for reading!!

#1k #[📌] — june.writes #[💟] — joshua #[❤️] — smut #[💛] — fluff #[💙] — angst #joshua smut #svt smut #seventeen smut #hong jisoo smut #joshua hong smut #svt imagines #seventeen imagines #joshua imagines #svt fanfic #joshua x reader #hong jisoo #joshua hong #joshua x y/n #joshua x you #svt x reader

[yanderes-galore]

I can request yandere Bumblebee with human darling? Pls🐝

Of course! Here's what I thought of :) No specific Bumblebee was given so I just picked a version.

Yandere! TFP! Bumblebee with Human! Darling

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Human/Transformer, Overprotective behavior, Paranoia, Violence, Dubious companionship/relationship, Slight invasion of privacy, Implied kidnapping, Human pet behavior, Manipulation, Slightly oblivious yandere.

Bumblebee seems like he'd be a very caring yandere.

Most of the Autobots usually are to some degree.

He doesn't speak to his darling but usually speaks through actions.

That is unless you can understand his beeps, then he'll communicate that way.

Bumblebee is playful and sometimes goes against orders due to being the youngest of the Autobots.

Although, Bee knows when to be serious.

Deep down he also feels insecure about not doing enough for his team, always feeling he should prove himself.

As a yandere Bee would be Overprotective, Affectionate/Caring, Jealous, and a bit Reckless.

Bee may even be a yandere who doesn't intend to do anything wrong but his actions come across as bad.

Bumblebee has already shown he can get attached to a human.

Maybe in this concept Bumblebee still has Raf, you just become another human he's attached to.

It'll soon become clear that Bee sees you in a different light to Raf, however.

Bee seems rather innocent with his obsession towards you.

It's actually pretty cute to see the large Cybertronian perk up at the mention of you.

He gets excited about hanging out with Raf, yet when you come up the reaction gets stronger the longer you know him.

The other Autobots take note of this behavior from their youngest member.

He gets so giddy like a kid when he sees you enter the base.

What you two primarily do is watch TV with each other or play games.

Raf joins in at times.

Speaking of which, Raf may notice Bee's excitement towards you.

The two are very close friends and the boy may tease Bee on it.

Raf may tease Bee by saying the bot has a crush on you.

A phrase that affects Bee more than he thought.

Maybe he actually does?

The issue with that is Bee would have no idea where to start with asking you to be with him.

Due to the whole Cybertronian and Human pairing thing and all....

Truthfully Bee doesn't mind how the bond between you goes.

Romantic or Platonic, Bee still shows a great deal of care towards you and hopes you reciprocate.

If Bee's feelings caused harm to you he feels horrible.

The goal of his actions towards you is for what he feels is your benefit.

If he hurt you he tries his best to apologize.

Bee is a somewhat lucid yandere.

If you tell him what he's doing is wrong he will try to fix it in a way that eases your discomfort and his obsession.

A primary concern for Bee with a human darling is your safety.

Cybertronians with human partners have to come to the realization humans are very... fragile.

Bee will soon realize how easy it would be to lose you in the dangers he deals with.

As a result he may offer to pick you up from your home and just keep you at the base for long periods of time.

This plan irritates people like Ratchet as the doctor feels you've better off at home.

Meanwhile Bee likes the idea of keeping you at the base because not only does it mean he can hang around you all the time, you're safe!

He doesn't mean to keep you as a human pet... but it comes off that way.

Never said this in his yandere behavior but I think Bee would be clingy with his darling.

He just likes to watch you around the base, often making small beeps of what you can only assume is happiness.

He is obsessive with being around you and holding you.

It's like a child with a pet hamster.

Bee tries to be super affectionate and loving with you to show you how much he cares.

Admittedly he does take Raf's teasing to heart....

You are surprised with the bot cooing at you in beeps when he strokes your small body in his hand.

Private, public, doesn't matter.

Many find your effect on Bee strange.

Raf tries to explain to the others that Bee loves you in his own way.

Yet it feels off somehow?

Bee would probably be a childish jealous.

If he saw someone else around you or giving you attention he gets moody.

You'll probably hear him from a distance giving an upset string of beeps before trying to gain your attention again.

He won't hurt anyone when jealous but he can get a bit petty at times.

Bee would also be reckless with his obsession.

He acts emotionally driven and would do anything to keep you by him an safe.

We've seen in the show how desperate he was to get his T-Cog back.

He'd be the same with you if someone took you from him.

Bee would have no issues getting violent and attacking with blasters or his weight if a threat decided to kidnap you.

It's dangerous and he could get severely hurt... yet he's willing to do it.

He feels like you're a part of him.

Bee would keep you in the base until something happens to it.

You can plead with him to let you go home and he tries to convince you against it.

Make excuses and he may just counter it.

For example, you want to get your things from your home?

Bee suggests he comes with and helps you carry them here!

He seems very passionate about being beside you for every waking moment.

Even when you're nodding off or take a nap, Bee's right there to keep an eye on you.

His behavior quickly becomes concerning to those around him.

It was cute at first... now he legitimately kidnapped you.

Bee can be scolded and told not to do what he's doing is wrong.

While he feels guilty and bad about it... he can't seem to give you up.

In his eyes you're one of the most important things to him.

The others simply don't get it, right?

It doesn't matter that he spilled Energon for you... as long as it was to protect you?

Isn't he supposed to protect you?

Bee is very conflicted with his obsession.

On one hand... he should correct himself and let you go.

On the other... he hates the idea of letting you go despite it being the right thing to do.

Bumblebee has to make a decision with his obsession... should he listen to his friends or pursue his obsession?

Sadly, you fear he may just choose the latter based on his previous actions, even if the decision tears him apart.

#yandere transformers #yandere transformers prime #yandere tfp bumblebee #yandere bumblebee

[mywritingonlyfans]

I wrote something. I intend to do this more often with the things you guys send me. usually I wait for a perfect situation to come so I can use a request but it never ends up happening… anyway, this one is kind of long (2K words) but I intend to make the next ones a little smaller. I hope it works well.

To this one I added: "-something on tour bus trying to be quiet could be very sexy." and what you wrote me!

I understand you perfectly. every picture I see of Alex with a beard I feel like rubbing agaisnt himself like a cat. and I like to think that Alex feels contemplated just by the fact that he's giving pleasure, without necessarily being geared towards him. I think he's a good man, yes. Also, I like to think he'd catch himself in the middle of the tour missing you and find himself idealizing something about you; touches, savores, smell… his serious face and spread legs as he sits…

...

The bus's light was bluish, not too bright, but it still cast a dim hue inside. He placed you on one of the beds, which you assumed was his, and knelt in front of you. Your flight that day had been delayed, causing you to arrive in the middle to the end of the show. But it was enough to etch the movements of his hips and fingers strumming the strings into your mind, as if it were your own guilty pleasure that needed repeating before sleep to learn a lesson. You were tired, and Alex knew it. The way your playful gaze and mischievous smile danced around him, your body melting every time he touched you, left you completely surrendered to him. Words were unnecessary; you understood each other well. You knew what was coming, and he was sure of what he was doing. Your eyes, defined by doll-like eyeliner, followed him eagerly, and it left a tingling sensation in his head—not that it was a bad thing. You enjoyed how the light bathed him, the tip of his nose gaining a seductive glow, his eye sockets darkening with desire for you, and his beard seemingly begging for your touch.

You pondered allowing him to take control of you, so you could come undone in front of him and taste him in your mouth, along with the breathy moans that never failed to encourage you. A few buttons of his shirt were open, his exposed and sweaty chest, with your most recent thought, widened your smile as that memory you knew well and didn't mind experiencing again crossed your mind. You liked how he looked after a show; it was good to be back. "Why’re you smilin’?" He asked rhetorically. Amused. In seconds, he unfolded the green scarf he had awkwardly draped around his neck and passed it across your mouth. His eyes locked onto yours, and without looking at his own hands, he pulled the fabric tighter, your head falling backward as he led, and he laughed. He wasn't being too rough; you were simply surrendering yourself too willingly. When you tried to touch him or hold onto him in any way, he restrained you, saying, "I just need you to be still and quiet. There’ll be more people ‘ere soon." His voice was low, the drawl both tired and effective on you. Minutes before the show, he could have you clinging to him, your arms around his neck and your legs wrapped around his waist. You often lightly nuzzled your nose against his skin and told him how good he smelled, and while he enjoyed the affection, he also loved how your scent clung to him, something he could savor throughout his performance.

He tightened the knot, caressing your cheek and feeling warmer as your eyelids closed so angelically while his thumb traced circles on your skin. He sighed deeply, his own muscles trembling in discordance, and he took off your dress, the soft fabric peeling away from your body and landing abruptly on the floor. You felt comfortable like this, not necessarily because you were exposed, but because you could sense, even without words, how much he appreciated having you.

Still, knowing the risks, he took off his blazer and draped it over you. It wasn't in his nature to let others see you like this. You laughed at that and pointed out to you that the scarf would probably leave marks from being firmly tied, but you liked it like that. His fingers gently traced your body, revisiting each spot with soft caresses, and then he moved his hands until he could get rid of the flimsy fabric. Before that, he pushed his thumb into the moist patch that had already formed, ran his nose along the inside of your thigh, kissed the area, breathed hotly against your skin, and bit it, determined and mesmerized enough to leave teeth marks.

Your moans and arching back made his shoulders relax. His beard tickled you, and upon realizing that, he kissed the area even more. Your hand, so delicate in his view, went to his hair, pushing his face closer to you, and he chuckled. Your eyes were on him, they were begging, and he found himself marveling at how, even without being able to speak, your whimpering seemed futile; not that he would resist you.

Freed from the fabric that had been keeping him at bay, he ran his tongue across his lips in anticipation, his breath catching in his throat as he vividly remembered the incredible sensation it brought him. When you weren't around, he often found himself fantasizing about it, calling you in the early hours as if hearing your voice would alleviate the intensity, but it only seemed to heighten it further, leaving him with no options but not to relieve himself before sleep. He scratched his beard, his fingers gently dancing through his chin. At this point, you would be panting and pleading so fervently; that thought further fueled his anticipation.

Alex rolled up the shirt sleeve, wrinkling it completely. It wasn't of any importance. He pushed the stray strands of hair that had fallen over his forehead behind his ears and spread your legs for him. He slowly inserted a finger into you, using his thumb on your clit to make things easier. He watched as your eyes closed in a sigh and watered. "I've got you, babygirl, I know it's been a while," he reassured you, still gentle but persistent as he felt your hips moving with each deeper thrust. Soon, he added another one, stretching you further as your tears flowed. It was magical to watch; you were so wet, and Alex was well aware of your ragged breath as he watched you swallow his fingers until they disappeared into you.

Compared to yours, his were rougher, thicker, and longer, and given the time that had passed, it was expected that you would need some time to adjust. Amid your protesting sighs, he brought his fingers to his mouth, taking time to admire how his tips were gummy from you, licking them clean and savoring the long-awaited taste on his tongue. He let out a satisfied groan, a lingering flush of how good it was for him, and you could never truly describe how it made you feel, but it was wonderful. You wanted to grind against him, to give more of yourself to him until he didn't have to worry about anything else but being relaxed.

The next steps unfolded quickly, as both of you were in need. It happened like a choreographed dance, something rehearsed before, with the only difference being that this was born from a deep understanding of each other and a certain frequency of indulging. He closed his eyes tightly, straightening his body and neck, his head resting on the bed, while he sat on the floor. Upon opening them, adjusting to the bluish light, he found himself even tighter in his pants as he watched your frame fold and nestle into his blazer in front of him. You were trembling, not from embarrassment but from wanting it as much as he did and struggling to contain your desire in your own flesh. Your tears still clung to your waterline, and your face was disheveled due to how he had tied the scarf, mussing your hair and marking your cheek. However, as he pulled you closer, you simply nodded continuously; it wasn't a problem, and you were well aware that you could get quite loud when it came to him, which might not bode well for him.

He appreciated your confidence, especially considering how insecure you had been at the beginning of the relationship. At the moment, he wouldn't hesitate for a second to support you. Your palms on the mattress and the scarf couldn't entirely muffle your sounds as his beard brushed between your legs and his tongue delving into you, destined to be enveloped in your juices and warm ardor. As you watched him, Alex skillfully held you in place, providing the necessary hold up as you rode his face. His facial hair tickled, making you melt into him, and his guttural moans urged you on, the tip of his nose repeatedly grazing your clit, making you crave him even more and more.

You held his hair tightly between your fingers, his delighted moans becoming vibrations within you as your heavy breathing filled the room and left his head somewhat dizzy. As your thighs began to quiver more languidly, he gently shook his face into you, helping you guide yourself in the same manner and rhythm that had been satisfying you before. Your enjoyment of the act made him feel hot and delirious. Your hand clutched his soft curls forcefully; he would feel your fingers there for a while even if they were removed, but that was pleasurable. Although you couldn't keep your eyes open most of the time, they were mostly closed or squeezed shut tightly, something he understood. Alex, on the other hand, kept them on you. He noticed how your body moved up and down on him and how he was exhausting you. He was aware of how he would have imprinted in his mind the way you moved on his tongue, the sensation of you soaking his beard, and how you rubbed against him eagerly for your pure pleasure throughout the week you were there, even if you repeated it more times.

When your legs closed around him, and he could feel his mouth growing warmer and wetter as your body spasmed, he savored every drop and continued to work his tongue until he felt overwhelmed. He was there for you, entirely yours. He only stopped when you felt too sensitive, pulling his face away. You collapsed onto his lap. He had a goofy, satisfied smile, while you were still dazed. You only realized you were crying with how hypersensitive you were when you felt relief as his hands untied the scarf and used it to wipe your face; your mouth and cheeks had marks from the fabric. Your ragged breath continued, as did a few more tears that you couldn't control. As your blurred vision returned to normal, you felt weaker; Alex's nose and beard were shiny, his cheeks were red, and his eyes were bright as he looked at you with care. He was beautiful, and in that exact moment, even more so. It was reassuring to know that it was all because of you.

"Fuck," you breathed out, your voice barely coming out, your throat raspy. He laughed, caressing your back and putting you on his chest. "It's okay, little one. I'm right ‘ere," he assured you, your hand touching his jaw, bringing him closer to you, and once again, his laughter filled your chest. As your lips touched his, you could taste yourself on him. The kiss was slow and lazy, respecting your still unsettled breathing. You moaned briefly at his touch, and he chuckled into your mouth, "I know, you taste really good, babygirl," he made you laugh, kissing away the remaining salty tears on your face, and you nestled against him. Everything about it was magical. He liked how your sweat would be embedded in his blazer, which he would certainly wear the next day, and he knew your inner thighs would be irritated because of his beard (but he would help soothe that). Not to mention that it would be impossible for anyone entering that part of the bus not to notice. The place already had a very distinctive smell that would spread over the next few days while you were there.

...

taglist: @ohladymoon @indierockgirrl @bloo-wisteria @bellaturner @cosmoschaotic @nikisfwn @andrews-lovr @nela-cutie @artimonkii @alexturnersbbg3

#alex turner x reader #alex turner smut #alex turner #alex turner x you #alex turner x y/n #alex turner fanfic #alex turner imagine #fanfic

[sleepingdeath-light]

Open requests you say 👁👁 Could we get some headcanons of Billy Lenz with a S/O that's like, super into biting? Receiving and giving, casually nipping as an 'I love you' and doing it sexually, just biting as a love language <33

Bitey S/O Headcanons | Billy Lenz (18+)

thank you for requesting anon!

reader is assumed as gender neutral

minors and ageless blogs will be blocked

links : slasher blog | masterlist

biting is a love language (change my mind)

and it’s one of many ways that billy can get across his desire for casual affection and playfulness without triggering himself accidentally with full on affection and physical contact

he appreciates the little nips you give him once he knows the meaning behind them and will even return and initiate the gesture further down the line - following it up with a lot of giggling and a potential crude comment about how you taste or something similar

though at first he’d definitely be startled and even hurt by it, viewing it as a more aggressive action than you intend and flinching away and rubbing the area - staring at you with wild, wide eyes

he’s muttering quickly and getting louder and more incensed about how “pretty piggy bit billy”, “piggy hurt billy” and “piggy hates billy”

and then he’s yelling and teary-eyed and confused so you’ll have to shush and soothe him before you even get the chance to explain that it’s just a way to show affection - a wordless “i love you” - and then his demeanour shifts from startled to appreciative and relieved

now when it comes to sex this man can’t get enough of you - particularly when it comes to having some part of you in his mouth, so it’s a natural progression of things for him to end up biting you during intimate moments

he also tends to get overly eager and almost animalistic during sex because he’s just so eager to be inside of you, to taste you, to feel you, so you’ll end up with marks all over your body no matter what - bites are just the most common ones that he leaves

thighs, neck, throat, shoulders, stomach, chest and ear lobes; loving nips, cheeky noms and deep bites that leave bruises as well as bite marks

you won’t be able to look in the mirror (or even look down for that matter) without seeing some type of imprint of his mouth and affection on your body

when you bite him he will moan in an incredibly loud and vulgar manner as his mouth runs a mile a minute with crude and lewd remarks about how eager you are, how you love biting him, how you’re just as naughty as him and how you’re the naughtiest piggy and his favourite person in the world

bonus points if you bite him on the following areas of his body: nape of his neck, column of his throat, on his nipples or just above his crotch (near the top of his happy trail)

#sleepingdeath #gender neutral reader #smut hcs #smut headcanons #smut #minors dni #billy lenz x reader #slasher x reader #billy lenz #black christmas 1974 #slasher x you #billy lenz x you

[xhikers]

moments like these - k.jh

pairing- kim junghoon (xikers) x reader

synopsis- you and your boyfriend, junghoon, get bored and decide to bake some cookies! however, things don’t go exactly as planned…

warning(s)- flour fight, lmk if I missed anything! (lowercase intended)

word count- 0.7k

authors note- i know there’s a mistake in here somewhere it’s okay we move

you and your boyfriend, junghoon, we’re sitting in your room with nothing to do. you had invited him to spend the night  at your house so you could do your homework together, but after you finished that and had exhausted all of your other options, you had nothing left to do. you were both on opposite sides of the room, looking down at your phones as if the other wasn’t there. that was, until, you came across a video of someone baking chocolate chip cookies. you unknowingly watched the entire thing, and when the video ended you realized how hungry you actually were.

     “junghoon…” you said quietly making him look away from his phone and up at you, sitting in your desk chair. 

he hummed in response to you, looking back down at his phone for a second before you chimed in again.

     “we should make cookies!” you said excitedly, looking at the boy hopefully.

after seeing how eager you looked to make said cookies, he couldn’t say no. so, he and you walked down to your kitchen and began to wash your hands in the large sink, playfully fighting over the stream of water. after you had gotten your hands clean, you pulled up the recipe on your phone and started grabbing the ingredients from various places in your kitchen. 

     the two of you were taking turns pouring the ingredients into different bowls, laughing at an occasional comment from the other. until, junghoon accidentally poured the flour into the bowl closest to you a bit too harshly. the flour came right back up from the bowl and hit you in the face! you closed your eyes instinctively from the flour getting on your face before opening them again. you were faced with a shocked junghoon. you could tell that he was very surprised with himself, apparently he had underestimated his own strength. you figured the only way to get back at him would be to do the same thing he did. however, he figured out your plan before you could put it into action, so he ran to the other side of the counter, practically begging you for forgiveness…

     “y/n!! please it was an accident!” he said trying not to laugh at your flour covered face (but failing miserably).

     “this is a new shirt! and you didn’t have to be that aggressive!” you said, also laughing, chasing him across the kitchen.

 you finally caught up to him after at least five or six laps around your kitchen counter. you wrapped your arms around his torso and rubbed your flour covered face into his back, covering his black t-shirt with flour, vaguely resembling the shape of your face. 

     “y/n!! come on that’s way worse than what i did!” he said escaping your arms and trying to get a good look at the back of his shirt. 

     “no it’s not! i have flour all over my face and my shirt! you’re lucky i just-” before you could finish your sentence, you felt more flour hitting your clothes. you let out an audible gasp, immediately grabbing a handful of flour and throwing it at your laughing boyfriend. 

     the two of you continued to play around until the floor, the counter, you, and junghoon were completely covered in flour. you looked around at the ginormous mess you had made and you couldn’t help but laugh. bringing out such a fun and playful side of your boyfriend was rare. he was usually very monotone, so it felt special. your train of thought was cut off when junghoon suggested that the two of you should start cleaning up the huge mess.

     “i’ll vacuum the floor and you can wipe down the counters”, he suggested. 

you could tell just by the tone of his voice that he regretted his decision of throwing the flour at you just a little bit, but you didn’t. moments like these would always be worth it.

#xikers #kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop imagines #junghoon #xikers junghoon #kim junghoon #xikers imagines #kpop x reader #naurrr i miss him #get well soon junghoon🫶

[lokifan2]

Just a Little Bit Ticklish?

Rated: G

Language: None

Pairing: Loki and female reader

Tagline: “Uh!….He knows! (Sebastian from The Little Mermaid)

It was a beautiful spring day. The sun was shining and the birds were chirping. It was the perfect day to go outside and sit in the warm weather for a while. Loki was yet to come home from a mission, so you thought you’d soak up some much needed Vitamin D today. You spread out a blanket and laid in the grass for a while and you instantly felt better. It’s not that you were in a bad mood, you just needed a pick me up. The god of Mischief was also closer to home than you thought, as he undid his invisibility spell and watched you from the sliding glass door that lead to the back yard.

You lay on your stomach with your hand underneath your cheek as you slowly closed your eyes and breathed in the cool afternoon air. You exhaled and smiled as you finally heard your prince open and close the sliding glass door. “ Hello, my prince,” you said as your eyes were still closed but you were fully aware now. “Good afternoon, my princess. How are we feeling today?” You finally lifted your head and rested it in the palm of your hand as you looked at Loki. A smile still on your face. “Very well. I just needed an energy boost so I came out here to soak up a bit of sun.” By the time Loki arrived home, you had been outside for thirty minutes and decided to get up and greet your lover. You both smiled as you embraced and walked back inside the house hand in hand.

As Loki closed the door, he slyly smiled to himself. “You know, there is another way that I can make you feel more energized. Do you wish for me to tell you?” You giggled and shook your head. “Of course,” you replied. His wicked grin grew even bigger as he began to tell you. “ I know you have a little secret, darling. A little secret that, in the wrong hands, say, mine. Could be very detrimental to you.” You looked confused for a moment and then the pieces started to fall into place. Ticklish. You were ticklish, but Loki didn’t know to what extent. He thought you were just a little ticklish but he was about to find out that he was very wrong.

You both sat on the couch as he ordered you to then lay down. Your heart began to beat a little faster as he took both your hands and kissed them, raising them above your head, making them magically stay. “Be gentle,” you smiled. “Darling,” he gasped. “It’s like you don’t know me at all, as I cannot agree to your terms. Therefore, I will not be gentle. I will tickle you until you scream my name and beg for mercy! That’s why I brought you inside. So no one would misconstrue your screams of joy. Now that I have you alone my sweet dove, shall we begin?”

You nervously agreed as he traced his long thin fingers from your wrists to just above your armpit and stopped. His face turned even more maniacal as he hovered his fingers over the area and gaged your reaction. You trembled slightly as the soft pads of his fingers glided across your skin. You giggled cutely as Loki made an “aww” face, which made you laugh more. “S-stop t-teasing! Hehehe! That makes it w-worse!” He paused his playful torment for a second and replied, “oh, but darling, your face is absolutely adorable! How could I stop? You cute little mortal, you!”

He squished your cheeks as you continued to laugh. “Now…For the moment we’ve been waiting for…Your most ticklish spot…Where is it?” You gasped and replied, “I’m not telling the god of Mischief that! You have to find it!” That’s when Loki scrunched his nose up adorably and shook his head at you. He knew but not to what extent. The sides of your belly were your worst spot and he intended to play it up. Show some theatrics of sorts to really get you going. “How about here, darling?” He tickled your neck a little and you scrunched up, laughing harder. “Nope. Not my most ticklish,” you replied with a sly grin. “I see….,” he pondered. “Maybe, here.” He tickled your chest. You squeaked but no big laughter came out of your mouth. “Well, I know it’s your upper body, so….maybe….HERE!” He clamped his fingers around your belly and moved them wildly as you shrieked with laughter. “Th-hat’s i-hi-hit! Hahahah!” Loki’s eyes playfully brightened as he knowingly replied, “ oh, how did I know?! I don’t know how I could have found it, and so quickly! My! You’re even more ticklish there than I remember. This is very good information, darling. Now, I can focus on your “death spot” and have you howling within seconds!” All you could do at this point was laugh your heart out as he tormented your belly and its sides. You obviously couldn’t move your arms, so defending yourself was completely useless at this point.

“Stahahahap!” you laughed while also screaming. Your face red and stained with tears of joy. You thought your face would get stuck that way because it became sore but you couldn’t help but continue laughing. The pain was well worth it though. Finally, Loki showed you mercy and undid your trapped wrists. You two sat there smiling like a couple of idiots for a few seconds before you pecked each other on the lips and continued on with your day out in the warm sunshine. This was true bliss.

#loki tickle #loki odinson #loki laufeyson #loki tickles #loki #loki fanfic

[whumble-beeee]

Whumptember 2023, Day 9

“This was always going to happen”

Doomed relationship | Opposing sides | Fatal wound 

The Bee’s Whumptember Masterlist

CW: character death, blood, guns, kinda creepy whumper, manipulating someone's brain (not really mind control tho, and it's not gross. you'll see what I mean), kidnapping

~1900 words

(This story is a continuation of Day 5: What Do You Want Me To Do?, a prologue of sorts. You also don’t have to read the other story to understand this one lol)

------------

Sidekick shuddered. He didn’t want to do this. He shouldn’t have to do this. Leader and the team had always been so good to him. They’d taken Sidekick in without a second thought when he'd been dropped on their doorstep, half dead and practically frozen through. They’d nursed him back to health until he could have run away screaming, knowing full well the risks they took helping him. They’d let him into the team when he finally proved time and time again that he had what it takes, and dammit, Sidekick had worked hard to earn his place. They all trusted him. They loved him. He shouldn't have to. He didn’t want to.

He didn’t have to. "Hey, Rogue?" Sidekick whispered urgently, tapping his fingers in a rhythmic pattern on his palm, warm white breath dissipating into the frigid air.

Rogue didn’t look up from the wires and keypad faceplate she was fiddling with. “Not now,” she responded, letting out a frustrated grunt every time the door didn’t open and she had to slap away Youngest’s hands as they unhelpfully tried to pull wires out of the way for her.

“Okay, but this is kinda… really important…”

Youngest hissed sarcastically at Rogue, before standing straight to regard Sidekick with a crooked smile. “What's up, Sidekick? Getting cold feet on your first mission?” they teased.

“Ah… kind of… a little…” How could Sidekick explain this to them without coming across as a lying, filthy traitor? He probably couldn’t. He was a lying, filthy traitor, after all. He should just get it out before it was too late.

Youngest’s playful grin turned gravely curious, and even Rogue cocked her head at him with a questioning eyebrow raise, fingers still tangled within the colorful spaghetti puzzle.

“Wait, actually?” Youngest whispered, eyeing the darkness around them with wide-eyed uncertainty. Rogue spun around to scan to room with narrowed eyes, resting her hand on her holster. “What’s wrong?”

“I– uh–” Just spit it out. “We need to leave. Right now. Villain–”

“That’s enough, Sidekick.”

The voice came from behind them, melting out from the shadows like warm chocolate fudge on ice cream. Sidekick’s heart skipped a beat, perfectly timed with the deafening BANG! that sounded out from the deadly instrument clenched in Rogue's hand. Blinding sparks showered to the floor across the room as the bullet missed its intended target.

Then a loud cry of agony as Rogue toppled to the hard concrete floor, clawing at her gushing leg and clutching it close to her body, unsuccessfully attempting to staunch the torrent of crimson pooling onto the floor.

Both Sidekick and Youngest froze, stunned, gawking in horror at Rogue's writhing form. Sidekick noticed a flash of movement in the corner of his eye. Scientist. No.

Sidekick grabbed a fistful of Youngest’s shirt and practically hurled them toward the door they’d entered from. “RUN!”

Youngest shocked back into their right mind as they were thrown across the room, tripping over themself as they attempted to regain their footing. Before Sidekick could even blink, an arm wrapped around Youngest’s chest from behind, a knife teasing their throat. 

“Oh, I can already tell you’re gonna be fun!” Scientist grinned as Youngest froze in their grasp.

Then everything was suspended in time.

Sidekick could feel clammy air wafting around his exposed skin. He could see the sinister glint of the knife that Scientist pressed way too far into Youngest’s neck, their unnervingly excited smile juxtaposing Youngest’s own expression of pure terror. He could hear Rogue hissing and cursing as they lay prostrated in a pool of their own blood, desperately trying to quell the bleeding as their consciousness slowly faded. He could sense a faint sparkle in the walls near him, barely even there. A telltale sign. Something Sidekick wasn't even sure was real, giving away Villain's position.

Sidekick clenched his fists by his side. “VILLAIN!” he shouted, out to somewhere between the heavens above and the cold dark dirt below.

“Yes, my traitorous sidekick?” Villain purred right beside him. Sidekick cursed and stumbled back, his body dumping a fresh supply of adrenaline straight into his nervous system. He couldn’t keep taking these surprise appearances; his heartbeat was practically a continuous buzz already.

He leaned forward on his knees, mostly to catch his breath, but also so he could only see the tips of Villain’s shoes. He wasn’t ready to face them just yet. “Let them go,” Sidekick panted.

Youngest squeaked in confusion at the display, and even Rogue grunted out a weak “Sidekick…“ through gritted teeth. Sidekick ignored them, finally straightening up to look villain in their icy blue eyes. “Especially Youngest, and especially Rogue.”

Villain quirked an eyebrow up at him. “‘Especially Rogue’?...” they quoted. They meandered toward Rogue while sizing her up: The blood spilt all over the ground, the bullet would, the keypad plate still clutched in her hand. Villain narrowed their eyes. “I can understand Youngest, sure, but Rogue?”

They stepped on the dropped gun and skidded it out of Rogue’s reach just as she lunged for it, bending down and grabbing it up like a seagull stealing food from human hands.

“Oh, fuck you, Villain.” Rogue spat, flinching as she fought uselessly to force her leg upright again. “I’d rather get tortured for hours on end than have to deal with your bullshit one-liners.”

“Rogue, don’t!” Youngest cried, just as Sidekick screamed out a horrified and pleading “WAIT!”

Both commands seemed to go unheard.

Villain examined the gun, then cocked it and aimed it right between Rogue's eyes. “I’m sure you would.”

BANG!

Sidekick duck-and-covered with a screech, sprays of red staining his vision before he could clamp his eyes shut, tears streaming down his face and staining the fabric of his pants as he desperately covered his ears and head. Or maybe it was Youngest who was screaming and crying. He couldn’t tell. It didn't matter. He just had to be a ball.

After awhile, Sidekick felt a heavy hand rest on his back, rubbing in small circles. He stayed nicely curled up in his safe little ball. Safe from Villain and Scientist and Youngest and Rogue and all the other dangers lurking around him, ready to swallow him whole. If he ignored them, then they weren't there. Perfect.

“Oh, Sidekick…” Villain comforted. Their voice was silky smooth. Like chocolate. Way more comforting than Sidekick would ever admit. “I don’t understand why you’re acting this way, I mean, you brought them here. You knew the plan. This was always going to happen.”

“You… Y-you… Si-idekick?”

Sidekick clenched into himself harder, so hard he was sure his muscle fibers would tear right off the bone. But Youngest deserved better than that. They deserved better than him. He peeked his head up just enough so he could look Youngest in the eyes.

Youngest was on their knees now, eyes red with fresh tear tracks blazing down their cheeks, staring at Sidekick with a face twisted into a ghastly mixture of anguish and horrible, painful disbelief. They were being held up more by Scientist's fist twisted in their hair than any sort of exertion from their own body.

“Y-y-you-ou… knew abou-out this-s-s… Si-idekick-k-k?...” Youngest whispered, breath puttering so fast it was a wonder they hadn’t passed out yet.

Sidekick squeezed his eyes shut and nodded mechanically, shakily, his jaw clenched so tight he could just feel his teeth shattering into tiny pieces. “I’m so… so, so s-sorry…”

“Ugh,” Villain scoffed with a roll of their eyes. They stood up from where they crouched beside Sidekick and strolled over to Youngest. “Now, now, Sidekick, we can’t be having any of that… ”

Villain crouched down in front of Youngest, and Youngest growled and yelled and threw themself back to get away from them, glaring a look that could have punched a hole through diamonds. Scientist just tightened their grip on Youngest’s hair and thrust them forward so they were kneeling at Villain's feet.

“I’ll KILL YOU!! I’LL KILL YOU VILLAIN!! SIDEKICK!! LET ME GO!!” they screamed, struggling violently against Scientist’s grasp, thrashing into them and nearly hitting their head on the ground if Scientist weren’t holding them so still.

“See, Sidekick? All this–” Villain gestured vaguely to Youngest’s ongoing struggle. “They’ve brainwashed you. They took you in as we planned, yes, and then you started thinking of yourself as part of their team. Not as we the planned…”

Sidekicked rocked himself back and forth, back and forth, unable to pry his eyes away from the scene; Youngest snarling and hissing and fighting with all their might, Scientist easily securing them knelt down. Villain slowly and confidently raising their hand toward Youngest, their fingers gently phasing into Youngest’s hair and through their skull. Youngest froze. Some unseen force seized each and every one of their muscles, locking them in place. Villain's hand glided down until it reached near the back of Youngest’s brain, and with a small quirk of their wrist, Youngest crumbled face-first onto the floor.

All the blood drained out of Sidekick's face as he watched the display. No. Not Youngest. Please. “You–... You didn’t–”

“I didn’t kill them, if that’s what you’re sputtering about.” Villain interrupted. They stood up and wiped their clean hands off as they once again walked over to Sidekick. “I have half a mind to, though, with all they did to you. Making you think you actually belonged with them, or god forbid, making you loyal to them.”

Scientist threw Youngest’s body over their shoulder, their arms and legs swinging limply as Scientist adjusted them into a better hold. “I’ll get them all situated for us, then!” they said with a giddy smile, eyes shining. They entered some code into the half-broken keypad and unceremoniously stepped over Rogue’s body to get through the door, splashing small blood droplets across the floor and walls and leaving behind maroon footprints as they disappeared down the following hallway.

“Thank you, Scientist.” Villain called. They then turned their burning gaze back to Sidekick, still cowering in a ball on the floor, trembling and hyperventilating and staring straight ahead. Villain tilted their head down at the pitiful scene.

“It can’t be helped though, I suppose...” Villain balled their fist into the fabric of Sidekick’s shirt and hauled him up to his feet. He jolted at the touch, but dutifully let Villain pull him up, forcing his knees to lock so he didn't collapse again. “I always knew this was a possibility when I sent you in there.”

They turned Sidekick to face them. When Sidekick wouldn’t meet their eyes in favor of staring unblinkingly into the middle distance, they gently tilted Sidekick's chin up with their forefinger and thumb, waiting patiently until Sidekick’s gaze finally met theirs. Villain smiled lovingly, like a parent at their child’s final graduation.

“But now I know, and now I can fix it.” they soothed. “So there’s no need to worry anymore. Not about that team, not about Caretaker and Leader back at their base, not about Rogue–” they nodded toward the heaping body collapsed in the doorway. Her blood pool had finally stopped widening and started to dry, dark brown and bright red filling Sidekick’s entire vision, swirling around in his brain and seeping itself into the very fabric of his being as he stared into her unseeing eyes-- “--and most certainly not about Youngest. Doesn’t that sound great?”

Sidekick nodded slowly, once again starting to tremble, eyes locked on Rogue.

“Good.” Villain grabbed Sidekick by the shoulders and guided him toward the door. “Let’s get you settled back in. Then you and I can get straight to work on your new training.”

@whumptember

#whumptember2023 #whumptember day 9 #whump #whump writing #writeblr #whumpee #heroes and villains #team whump #whump scenario #day nine: this was always going to happen #day nine: doomed relationship #day nine: opposing sides #day nine: fatal wounds #bruh i did NOT have time to write all this today #i meant for it to be shortttttt #i also have no idea if its good #i'm so tired rn my brain is dead #but got it done! #sure its after midnight so the day technically ended #so ig its late for my own superimposed deadline #but i havent gone to sleep yet #so the days not over dammit lol #proud of myself tho for getting it done :)

[bouncykhotchillipeppers]

I did my first astrology reading for Baekhyun four years ago, and now I’m doing a second natal chart reading with more insights!

✦ Disclaimer

I do not know him personally, no harm intended, others may interpret differently. I’ve been studying astrology for six years, and I take this seriously and try my best. Feel free to ask any questions you have!

✦ Note

Astrology is complex and difficult to explain, please ask for clarification if you need it. I will not be discussing parents, family, or earlier life to preserve some privacy. This is not a full chart reading, just some highlights I found to be fascinating.

✦ Ascendant and Moon in Gemini (First House)

The Ascendant is the lens through which someone views the world—it’s your perception of your reality—and any planets in contact with the Ascendant affect it. The Ascendant and First House are the beginning of someone—it’s partially how people perceive them, and it shows the world “this is who I am.” Gemini is playful and chaotic and indecisive, concerned with making connections within their immediate surroundings. Having his Ascendant in Gemini therefore makes his chart ruler his Mercury in Aries, which is direct and blunt and to the point. All of this seems to overpower his Sun in Taurus. It’s why he can come across as brash and exuberant and, to put it bluntly, the most unhinged person in the room at all times. Connections are easy; boundaries are not.

Moon in Gemini here is interesting because Gemini is so logical while the Moon presides over emotion. He wears his heart on his sleeve. He’s like an emotion sponge. He is highly aware of the atmosphere in the room at any given time and reacts accordingly, though maybe not appropriately. This mix of Mercury and Mars in Aries combined with Moon and Ascendant in Gemini creates someone approachable, a moodmaker, a trusting balance of logic and emotion. Gemini Moons are restless and need to talk through their emotions in order to get their point across; connection to the immediate surroundings is the root of emotion. It’s how we parse through our feelings. Our minds need to be constantly active with something or we get bored and boredom is the most terrible thing because it leads to overthinking, so these are the people keeping four conversations going at once while playing a video game and also thinking about the chores they are definitely not doing. It’s fickle and petty and childish and eternally curious.

Jupiter square Ascendant exacerbates plenty of these qualities in him, but since Jupiter is in Virgo, where it’s detriment, it doesn’t act the way it’s supposed to. He remains humble when he should be outgoing, his sense of identity is compromised, his overconfidence leads to stepping across a boundary he shouldn’t have, his enthusiasm overrides his sense.

Optimistic, but not illogical. He’s thinking about a lot more than he lets on to others not because he has to but because it’s all he knows how to do.

✦ IC in Leo, Jupiter in Virgo (Fourth House)

IC in Leo is intense. He needs to learn, fundamentally at his core, to be himself. Individuality is important.

Jupiter is lovingly placed in Fourth House and accidentally exalted. As long as he is not confined in his home (literally or metaphorically) and has the creativity and expression to be himself, he will be content. He very much works on his inner self and his inner world and re-emerges with new ideas and philosophies about these things. He consistently sees himself as a new person in this regard. (With Sun opposite Pluto, this also emphasizes this “transformation” of the self and how he won’t always have the same opinions or ideals as he once had. That Taurus is stubborn, though.) This placement gives him a sort of practical optimism—the Virgo being practical, the Jupiter being optimistic. Not to say he’s happy all the time, but rather he attempts to take an optimistic viewpoint rather than be a downer about it.

Going on a tangent for a moment and focusing on a specific aspect pattern called a Thor’s Hammer, which involves two sesquiquadrates and a square, forming a triangle. A sesquiquadrate is a square (90°) and a semisquare (45°) stacked on top of each other, creating planets that are 135° apart. I’ve included a highlighted picture of his chart to show what I’m referencing here. This Thor’s Hammer involves Jupiter (expansion) at the apex locked in with Mercury (communication) and a Uranus-Neptune (rebellion, transcendence) conjunction square. This pattern is rare, rare enough that I’ve only seen a couple of other charts have this out of thousands, and trying to find any information on it is nigh impossible. This is what I have gathered and interpreted. So basically what is happening is that this Leo House, this expansive Fourth House, is being forced to fight back against something. This creates someone who does not like to conform, who does not like to listen to the rules, who does not react well to discipline from authoritative figures in any way. And it’s just hell. It’s hell to have this. It’s an extremely difficult aspect pattern to have and to overcome. And whoever has this aspect cannot receive any outside help because that is what it’s doing—it’s fighting or rebelling against the outside. It needs to be overcome in an internal way. Mercury is locked in tension with Uranus and Neptune, and all three of them are unleashing that tension onto Jupiter with no holds barred.

It’s a powerful weapon. It’s called Thor’s Hammer for a reason—strength, survival, an ultimate drive to achieve something great. He is in a constant internal battle with something to prove, and embracing it is key to success, but learning to wield that metaphorical hammer, let alone embrace it, is a challenge.

Mercury is driving and logical, and when it’s in square with Uranus, that creates someone who thinks outside of the box with wild ideas most people aren’t ready to hear. Adding Jupiter into this mix expands it and cranks the efficacy up, but Neptune is like a higher frequency of Jupiter and is rather universal and often distorts reality. It’s like he has two deeply rational planets, Mercury and Uranus, battling against the planets that are deeply emotive and based purely on vibes. All of this bottled up tension needs an outlet: Venus, the planet of worth, placed in a trine with Jupiter, is what is helping him overcome this insane aspect pattern in his chart. As long as he has this outlet, as long as he has worth and connection with others, he’s able to learn to overcome the extreme energy he has here. He loses that and it won’t be pretty.

✦ Pluto in Scorpio (Sixth House)

Pluto is an incredibly important planet in his chart simply due to the fact that there are so many aspects to it.

Pluto in Sixth House is a powerful placement. Literally. Pluto represents power in a general sense as well as everything related to the “underworld” of society, including taboos, death, paranoia, and transformation. Sixth House is complex but generally presides over service and health. This is different than the Tenth House of social status and career—Sixth House is more focused on coworkers and the job itself rather than society or public persona. This is how we connect with the world around us, how one explores the relationship between oneself and the external.

He is, to put it bluntly, obsessed with his job. He has an interesting combination of extreme work ethic (Pluto in Sixth House), tendency toward relaxation (Sun in Taurus), and the need to do everything as soon as possible (Mars in Aries). However he reacts depends on the situation at hand. Hopefully he’s able to accomplish some balance and order in this regard.

I covered his Sun-Saturn-Pluto T-square before but will restate it. If you have any sort of Sun-Saturn-Pluto aspect yourself, you will understand. Overall, the Sun represents the self, Saturn represents authority, and Pluto represents power. Now, make all of these attributes very similar to each other (fixed signs), but make them resent each other (square and opposition aspects), and then force them to get along. Three unbreakable planets in three unbreakable signs (two of which are domicile, or at their most powerful) is actually kind of terrifying, and honestly I would see this in the chart of someone who’s a very serious person. However, I could also see this in the chart of someone who has a balance of when to be serious and when to destroy that seriousness and just be yourself. I see the latter more in him. Because Pluto is transformative, the way he views himself changes quite often. This whole aspect almost has a…chameleon-like quality to it. He is the person to go to if you want support. He knows when to hold his ground on his beliefs and when to follow the rules. He knows his strengths and weaknesses and others’ as well, and Saturn keeps Pluto’s power-hungry side in check. He's a reluctant leader, but a good one. And with his Gemini Moon in 1H, that makes him even better because communication and connections are the most effective ways to get through to him as he can empathize well. He feels like it’s his duty for others to get along. For some more perspective, this aspect can also make him suspicious of others’ intentions (see: the story of how he was scouted). Though he’s a Taurus, the world isn’t all flowers and sunshine, and he’s not afraid to admit that. The Mercury quincunx Pluto aspect makes him a rapid-fire and witty debater, though susceptible to misinterpretation, and this as well makes him naturally suspicious of people and their intentions.

I will also mention that with Sun opposite Pluto in the 6-12 House axis, there is a tendency to martyr himself for the greater cause. Uranus and Neptune along with his Eleventh House Mercury and Mars will emphasize “the greater cause,” whatever that may mean to him.

✦ Descendant in Sagittarius

The Descendant is an interesting point that is referenced less often than the Ascendant but no less important. It’s what we are ineffably drawn to, what we hope to find in other people, what is hidden within ourselves that we need to uncover through the companionship of another person. Associated with the sign of Libra, it’s concerned with balancing the self and the individual other, how one on one interactions occur.

With this in Sagittarius, he hopes to find belief in others. Sagittarius is concerned with higher learning, whether that is religion, philosophy, secondary education, foreign travel, languages. How does one implement meaning and significance into the mundane? Optimism is simple enough to come by for him, but it is finding meaning that he feels he lacks in and hopefully attracts to him.

✦ Uranus Rx and Neptune Rx in Capricorn (Eighth House)

Being naturally suspicious of others can be a good thing in some regard. Eighth House is connected with the sign of Scorpio and the planet Pluto. It mainly deals with one on one transactions with others.

READ THE FINE PRINT. Neptune in Eighth House creates vast confusion and delusions around business dealings and contracts. He will get strokes of luck in this department simply because of the Sagittarius influence, but he definitely can’t rely on that to get him out of every situation. Accidental luck is accidental and isn’t predictable. He’s able to get himself out of tricky situations with strokes of luck, but he really should plan everything thoroughly before continuing forward with something drastic or life-changing.

✦ Midheaven and Saturn in Aquarius (Tenth House)

He is deeply aware of how others perceive him… Saturn placed here gives a stable career—albeit with a few bumps along the road with that Aquarian influence. Good sense of judgment. Once again very concerned with duty and his public persona is important to maintain. He needs meaning to his work, specifically meaning that would benefit others before himself in typical Aquarian fashion.

✦ Mercury and Mars in Aries (Eleventh House)

That Mars in 0° Aries makes him extremely determined, willing to be the first to try anything new. Driving, forward personality, very involved with whatever his friends or other groups of people are doing. He loves teamwork. He puts heart into everything he does, and it’s all or nothing.

I’ve already talked about Mercury a fair amount, but Mercury is a little goofy when placed here…he simply will not stop talking.

✦ Sun and Venus in Taurus (Twelfth House)

Sun in Twelfth House is interesting simply because of the unknowable nature of this House. Twelfth tends to scare people when talked about—Twelfth is the House of self-undoing. It’s concerned with the collective, the whole, the universe, and boundaries between the self and others are virtually nonexistent when the egotistic Sun is placed here. This, along with Moon in First House, creates the perfect situation of “I can be anyone you want me to be.” Whatever your ideal is, he will fit it. Whatever your perception of him is, he will be it. Though that IC in Leo craves that individuality, it can be difficult to supplant that with a shifting identity and sense of self. Sun trine Neptune exacerbates this, Sun trine Uranus helps to fight against this, all of these in earth signs creates a steadier sense of self.

Venus placed here creates a fair amount of delusion toward others, idealistically placing them on a pedestal and ignoring the warning signs. He does have Venus trine Jupiter in Virgo, though, which creates a romantic realist. He adores and idolizes others, but the critical Virgo will come through and give him a dose of reality every so often. Stability is important to him.

✦ Words of advice to him

It is okay to relax. Follow your own path. Despite the obstacles you face, you have the determination and the resources to follow through. Listen to that natural suspicion and gut instinct above all else because it will lead you where you need to go. Help will appear when you need it most.

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed any insights this provided.

Cross-posted on Twitter.

#baekhyun #백현 #exo #엑소 #astrology #kpop astrology #chart reading #thor’s hammer astrology #fixed t-square #sun in 12h #you can see where i lost my fuel lol i tried really hard though

[throttlegainwell]

The "studying" scene in Nancy's bedroom is really interesting to me, so I'm just going to bat that back and forth for a minute like a cat with a bouncy ball.

(Meta about Nancy and Steve under the cut, including discussion of adolescent sexuality and slut-shaming.)

When Nancy is trying to study and Steve is sort of ostensibly helping but also inarguably trying to screw around, and Nancy objects, she reveals some very real and understandable hangups about sex. And that's fair. Makes perfect sense, all things considered. She's a little nervous about having it--though very curious--but she's significantly more preoccupied with the idea of people finding out she had it. She's trying to dip her toe in the water and keeps pulling back. Steve kind of launches himself at her virtually every time he sees her and has the chance. Steve is a teenage boy who wants to get into this teenage girl's pants, and he's not really hiding it. Like, he's just so very much not hiding this goal, but it's also not the only thing he cares about. And she sees both of those things and kind of vacillates between them, but she's not quite comfortable with either one. And Nancy has this idea in her head of Girls Who Sleep With Steve Harrington.

But instead of Steve assuring her that he doesn't see her as one of those other girls--that he doesn't think she's a "slut"--he's quick to point out that she's basically calling his other sexual partners sluts. (She could be just listing off names of girls in Hawkins with reputations, but the way he responds, I just feel like they're probably girls he's rumored to have slept with/was seen dating/people just know he hangs out with.) He sort of challenges that framework. And I don't mean to laud him for this as some kind of exceptional feminist or vilify Nancy for the crime of being an insecure fifteen-year-old girl in rural Indiana in 1983. Steve has no skin in this game--he's just not subject to the same scrutiny that she is, so his risk is much lower--and Nancy is right to be afraid of the stigma and reputation that may result from being perceived as sexually promiscuous; we see this when she pisses Steve off and he allows his friends to punish her for it.

But I just really like the layers of complexity to that scene. He's very single-minded, but the whole back and forth is almost like a game. He is pushy to an uncomfortable degree (and in a playful way that he can laugh off and he intends to come across as endearing/cute), but he does sort of implicitly defend his previous partners, and he doesn't seem to think there's anything wrong with having sex, but he does allow sexual stigma to be weaponized against Nancy when he feels that she has wronged him. (And man do I wish they'd really shown how those two came back from that.)

And Nancy wants to have sex and doesn't want to be judged for it, but she does, without seeming to realize it, judge other girls for having sex--because she's so conscious of the stigma attached to it and so afraid of it that she's projecting. She's slut-shaming, but she's also just thinking out loud, and she means it, but also she doesn't really. She wants to be allowed to have this and freely explore her sexuality. But it's a really fraught area. So she's on-guard in basically all of her interactions with him, even when she really wants what's happening. And she's really saying, "I don't know yet if I can trust you." And he answers by rejecting her premise and saying instead, "It's not me you don't trust."

And they're neither one of them totally right or wrong. She doesn't walk back what she says; it was just what she had to communicate her worries. Steve is kind of side-stepping and dismissing these worries, but he stops pushing; he picks up the flashcards again to show that he's not just a walking libido. It's just that other characters of this archetype would whip out the "no baby of course you're not like them--you're special" to score some points or lull the girl into a false sense of security. And Steve doesn't take that opportunity. (Which, to be clear, does not make him special--it makes him not an asshole, in-universe, and a more nuanced and less common character, IRL.)

And all the while Nancy is suspicious that Steve just wants sex and he's using her--and she seems genuinely hurt by and angry about this--she kind of seems to just want him for sex, which, again, she's really curious about but not allowed to want. She wants to be into him romantically, and she finds him exciting and likes him, but she keeps insisting again and again that they're not dating. So she wants all of these things, but she's really afraid of getting what she wants. And they're both absolute dogshit at communicating ANY of these things because they're teenagers, and Steve has plenty of sexual and social experience but doesn't seem to have much expertise in the romance department, and Nancy has no experience with basically any of it, so they're just talking around things.

I dunno, I just find their season 1 dynamic really interesting, but not necessarily for the romantic potential. They just gave them more complexity and depth than I was expecting, both as individuals and together, and I wish the show had carried that thread a little farther when they went to all that trouble to set it up. So. You know. I'm totally normal about this.

#nancy wheeler #stranger things meta #don't mind me just resting between tasks over here #and thinking about nancy #steve harrington #i dunno this girl's sexuality is just policed to hell and back #and she's so hyper-aware of it #no wonder she's worried about it

[princessmacedon]

Red hair, red hair — Red hair's just so much harder to find when half of the seasonal decorations are also red, but he's gotten way better at finding his last year's mystery envoy by now, and he fully intends to repay her in full! It takes a bit to spot her in the sea of candy-cane palettes, but he manages, and bounds over to her, heralded by the merry ringing of the bell on his hat.

"Maria! I found you!" Again, he adds mentally with a chortle, before opening a seperate compartment on his bag, procuring a little pouch of gingerbread cookies — Shaped, indeed, like little men. The icing job's no work of art, but nonetheless done with affection aplenty, and he sighs in relief when he sees they're all still in one piece. The bag's held closed by a little bow — The surprise is that the bow's no run-of-the-mill ribbon, but an actual hairclip.

"For you!" he beams. "Happy Winter Festival!!"

The addition of pink leggings to her wardrobe do their fair share of work and more to shield her legs from Winter's bite -- most especially when she sits on a stone ledge, legs kicking merrily to a faintly, merrily hummed beat. Boot heels click against the wall beneath her for a spot of emphasis now and then-- and then!-- as she hums a spot of jingling, she hears a ring-ting-tingling, too.

"Hm?" Her head turns in curiosity, just another red ribbon among hundreds strewn across the monastery, but in the next moment she is the one that shines most out of all of them.

"Oh! Edward!" A laugh bubbles free from her chest, heedless of her toothy grin. In one fluid motion, suggesting a regularity and familiarity which would surely displease her siblings, the littlest princess of Macedon swings her feet from one side of the stone wall to the other, hopping off of it altogether like a sparrow might hop from place to place.

"Hee hee, you found me! I knew you would!" And, well, even if he hadn't, she'd had a grand plan to turn the tables on him once other neatly-laid plans had come to fruition (...or cooled on the cooling racks, rather!). Arms bounce slightly at her sides as she pops onto her tiptoes, craning her neck in curiosity -- not that the gesture helps overmuch when he's kind enough to hold it out at Maria-level, but oh, it's about the meaning of it all! The playfulness, and fun!

And then she takes the bag into hand, pausing when she moves to open it. "Oh! Is this...?" A hairclip, isn't it? And such a cute one, too! Her hand darts to her mouth to stifle a pleased little giggle, warmth lingering in her expression despite the quiet she keeps as she pulls open the little pouch. Only when she holds up a gingerbread man does it burst into bloom, smile pulled across her teeth until it tucks joy into its corners, breathless and sparkling and bright.

"Wow...! Did you make these?" Her wrist turns as she admires them, finding it a shame to eat them so soon. Instead she tucks it away again, a thumb running across the top of the hairclip in a pleased sort of silence, and holds it preciously in her palm. "Thank you so much! I really, really like it! Hee hee, and happy Winter Festival to you too, Edward!"

A hand darts to his sleeve, pulling insistently, but not so much that he cannot break away. "Heeheehee... but you don't think I'd forget, do you?"

(And, should he have the time to spare, she will drag him through the halls and back to the kitchen, giggling all the while. 'One year!' she shall crow with pride and delight. 'Of finding and fun!' One year, indeed; enough, she hopes, for him to break into a smile too when she presents him a large, profoundly rotund bear (...-shaped cookie).)

(It will be clear she is a baker before she is an artist, but between baby boy eyes and bean-button paws, how can he hate her master work? The 'Eddie bear'!)

#did not intend for this to get so wordy but edward woke maria RIGHT up #hehehe #does edward like nicknames..... :pleading: #also didnt think to send anything out during christmas but please just imagine chadmaria baking time :] i think he'd be swell at icing deco #justices blade #auuuuuuu thank you for the ask as well...!!!! #really truly loved waking up to read it ; w ;

[2n2n]

sometimes I sit there for a long time thinking, "how can I possibly word this post in a relatively normal way" but there's no chance. So with all of the love and affection in my heart, I must say:

we here at the AidaIro love to romanticize ownership and possession of another. 

sorta related: my general overview on ‘romance’ as portrayed in JSHK

With such a short back-catalog, we have examples across their works... such as Cult making Lily his Familiar (a classification of being that is typically an animal-- another character's familiar is a dog. Cult comes to ‘own’ Lily in the manner more similar to a pet who is under command. Cult is doing something debauched and morally questionable to make Lily his... and of course, he kills her to achieve it)

a brutal ending... but nonetheless... Cult adores Lily unendingly. They mean the world to one another... they want to be together, forever. 

In an even older oneshot, Nika Kiri!, we see a witch, and her familiar-- a kitty-boy who is subservient to her, but useless. 

....we don’t get any real detail about what it means to be ‘a familiar’, though it seems he’s something similar to a servant, living alongside Killey and meant to assist in a witch’s duties and learning (his master goes to school). By some means, he was chosen by Killey. ‘Familiars’ are a favorite of Aidairo in general-- they also feature in the Hanako-kun of Magic AU. In that AU, more like MDLD, it is more of a forced position one in power can place over another.

in JSHK we get plenty of this! Both in our main romance, and others.... as Hanako binds Yashiro to him-- but such a thing is actually him making her his kannagi.

a girl like Sakura is unafraid to call the dynamic what it is, without any obfuscation. Hanako likes to obfuscate it as ‘assistant’ to soften it to the ignorant Nene herself (what a joke-- she is no employee who can simply leave or do what she wants....), but of course....

....it is a ‘master’ situation. Even Hanako himself will refer to her possessively as belonging to him. She simply does.

Tsukasa is as well Amane’s yorishiro, defined as an object or possession.

Sumire was Hakubo’s charge, and he was under control of her life, and body. His job was to keep her in their home, alive, but not strictly functional. She was his to determine the degree of autonomy of. 

like Yashiro’s agency is limited by Hanako, Sumire’s was intended to be controlled by Hakubo.

Now, Sumire and Tsukasa are possessions, objects, owned by Hakubo and Amane, as far as the system of yorishiro is concerned. Treated equivalent to a pair of scissors, or a stone. Batteries powering their Mystery, held within their boundary, unable to leave. Sumire can change nothing of her position, constantly repeating her own final day. 

Tsukasa and Sumire are existing only in relation to the person they love, and mysteriously are considered to be accessory to them.

Regardless, they are mutually beloved... just like Cult and Lily, just like Hanako and Nene, just like Nico and Killey. 

It’s simply a dynamic/circumstance AidaIro seem to be fond of exploring, for romances, or even for playful games suchas Hanako-kun of Magic.

So curious to see what other circumstances fitting this taste may pop up in JSHK. I think we haven’t seen the last of this style of romance. I wonder if Akane and Aoi could somehow fall into a dynamic like this, eventually?  An element of control/ownership could occur anywhere, with kaii.....!

... whatever the case, I find all of AidaIro’s works very charming, and their taste very idiosyncratic, consistent, and cute!

#avvy's JSHK #small JSHK thought

[mi6021-mez]

Improving the Storyboard based on feedback

Based on the feedback I was given, I altered my storyboard to show a clearer picture of the story that I'm trying to portray

For the beginning I decided to make a clearer establishing shot that clearly shows of the environment, it also shows that the city is busy and full of people, I'm going to show this through the cars rather than people as It would be too time consuming to make a vast amount of people, whereas with cars, I can make multiple by just changing the colours and slightly altering the shape, they also don't require rigging

Next I changed the fall sequence to show how the fall takes place from a standing position. I also decided to make the fall occur is a more imaginative way, the fall is going to be a ghost like faded figure of my character that falls out of him which then transition into the dream like sequence. This way it feels more like an out of body experience, where it feels like your falling but in reality he's just standing there, a theme I want to reinforce throughout the animation. 'What happens in your perspective vs what happens from the perspective of a bystander'

for the dream like sequence before I had quite rounded shapes, if I were to continue with this I may have ended with a result that looked a bit too happy and colourful, the shapes could have been seen as playful. But my main character is feeling distressed and anxious so instead I want my shapes and sequence to have more sharp, jagged edges so that it's associated with danger, could also experiment with triangles and the colour red/black/yellow which are often associated with danger

This time I've also introduced a second character, because my ending before of him opening his eyes wasn't coming across the way I intended. I want to show the differences between what my character is experiencing and what the world around him see, in his mind he's struggling and seeing all these symptoms but in reality they are only visible by him. The best way to show this is to actually have him interact with a second character

Another thing I wanted to introduce was more of the migraine symptoms that cause disorientation, one in particular is sensitivity to light, when having a migraine, light can seem harsher and cause worse headaches. So I introduced the sun into my scene, since my character has had his eyes closed for a period of time now, when he opens them in response to the 2nd character tapping him, seeing the sun causes him pain and his immediate response is to cover his eyes. The person talking to him is just trying to ask if he's okay, but the strange movement from my main character is alarming to him. There's also the added shock to our main character as his visions is still quite blurry when he opens his eyes and sees the man standing there

Next the main character looks down at his hands only to see a visual representation of pins and needles

until finally we see the 2nd character start to leave as he's given up helping the strange man who is now just staring down at his hands My next step is to create an animatic

[maya-matlin]

I just saw you contrasting Dair and Brucas and have to tell you that you made me realize why I prefer Brucas to Dair despite objectively getting that the writers were always going to follow the 'first couple to lock eyes and declare themselves soulmates end up together' rule by giving us Leyton and (ugh) Derena endgames. Like I think you and others have pointed out, Blair is kind of terrible. I mean she's amusing and interesting and the actress does a great job of giving her layers, but she's so genuinely elitist and mean, and even at her best with Dan that comes out constantly. I get that we're supposed to think it's just playful bickering but sometimes it comes across as them just genuinely not getting along and Blair "settling" for a guy from Brooklyn lol. And it doesn't help that Blair could never admit to loving Dan while she continually and freely admitted to loving Chuck. But Brucas for all their many problems generally had a more affectionate, less contentious dynamic---fewer insults, more real moments of emotional connection. So they just touch my heart more than dair even though I ship dair too and get why many like them more!

First of all, the "love at first sight" trope almost always flops for me when it comes to television ships. Even though my number one ship technically followed this pattern, they also took a long time to get together and weren't instantly "true love always" from the first couple of episodes. It's always "guy has been obsessed with girl for years and dreamed of marrying her before they'd ever spoken" or "they have this intense connection that can't be explained after speaking like twice and inexplicably understand each other better than friends, family, etc". And like you said, these couples are usually endgame so that the show can come full circle, even in cases where the two characters have moved beyond that and probably work better with other people.

I see what you mean, but I mostly view that as Blair being guarded and not wanting to admit out loud that she enjoys spending time with Dan. Both of them seemed to enjoy the banter, even though Blair could be mean spirited at times. As for the settling for Dan thing, I'm sure that's what was intended considering how the show ended, but to me it doesn't make much sense. Blair was settling for Louis and planning to commit herself to a life with him even though she was still drawn to Chuck. Dan was a complete surprise to Blair. He wasn't supposed to be her friend, let alone someone she could fall in love with. The end of season 5 is where it gets iffy. Initially, it seems like Blair is genuinely happy with Dan and is settling into this new, healthier idea of what love looks like. But obviously, the endgames were set in stone by this point, so they had to introduce some sort of conflict to push Blair back to Chuck. I don't know what to tell you. Gossip Girl is overall an offensively, badly written show. Yes, Brucas had softer moments. Both Brooke and Lucas were written as overall good people without the weird, elitist, hang ups, so there was no doubt they enjoyed each other's company even though mileage varies on whether or not Lucas truly considered Brooke his first choice the second time around. I mean, he did, but there's been a lot of retroactive discourse, insisting Lucas never cared for anyone except Peyton.

Also, sorry. I'm not trying to make you change your mind. You can't help how you interpret Dair, and your opinion is valid.

#Anonymous

[ear-worthy]

Pod-Alization: Freakonomics Saves Your Pets; The Economics Of Everyday Things; Libsyn’s New Podcaster Solutions

Freakonomics Radio podcast rescues your Lab Mix and your Tabby

 People today can get riled up over the dumbest things. The shape of the M&M cartoon character. The new name of a sports team, or the political color of the state in which you reside.

But when they come for your pets, we are all united in the battle the against private equity, or Big Finance, trying to turn our pets' health into an Excel spreadsheet full of dollar signs. Or are they?

Freakonomics Radio, has just released a two-part series on changes happening behind the scenes at local vets across the country.

Part one asks: "Should You Trust Private Equity to Take Care of Your Dog?" If that question sounds far-fetched (no pun intended), you might not realize how much big investors have been quietly buying up local veterinary practices. What does this mean for scruffy little Max, fyi – that's the most popular dog name in the U.S. in 2022 — and for the economy?

Part two, "Do You Know Who Owns Your Vet?," continues the investigation, looking at the pros and cons of small businesses getting bought by big investors. Host Stephen Dubner speaks to businesspeople, economists, and, of course, the veterinarians themselves. He also shares his own recent vet experience with his dog that inspired the series. 

After you listen to these two episodes, call your vet to see if they have sold out to private equity. You may want to drive to Central Michigan farm country and starting seeing The Incredible Dr. Pol of NatGeo Wild fame.  

Freakonomics introduces a new podcast: The Economics Of Everyday Things.

 Some podcast networks are the junkyard dogs of podcasting. Any podcast, no matter the subject -- from true-crime to self-obsessed celebrities -- is a prime candidate for their network if it attracts listeners and advertisers. 

Thankfully, Freakonomics is more selective in the podcasts it adds to its network. If I can define the Freakonomics universe -- podcasts, books, speeches, articles -- it is a thoughtful, discerning, often data-driven inspection of our world with a basic understanding that humans are crippled by their perceptual blind spots.

This week, Freakonomics added a new podcast and, if its first episode is any indication of its value, it is a winner and definitely ear worthy. 

The podcast is called The Economics Of Everyday Things. In the first episode: Gas stations. When gas prices skyrocket, do station owners get a windfall? And where do their profits really come from? This episode is enlightening and counterintuitive in some of its conclusions.  

As you may know, people are weird about the price of gas on a visceral level. I have a neighbor who drives an extra five miles to a gas station where the price is two cents cheaper. He drives a huge gas guzzling pickup truck. Do the math. He's not saving money. Maybe even losing a few cents.

The podcast hosted is Zachary Crockett, who was a staff writer at Vox.com and Priceonomics. His written work has appeared in The Atlantic, Time, Longreads, and elsewhere; I’ve also dabbled in radio (Marketplace, NPR, Slate) and video (The Discovery Channel, Vox).

Even with the small sample size of one episode, it's safe to say that Crockett does a nice job with the episode, and I like his playfulness and incisiveness. Plus, for a smart guy, he does not talk down to his listeners. 

Check out The Economics Of Everyday Things here.

Libsyn adds new tools for podcasters Liberated Syndication Inc. (“Libsyn”) has announced the latest in a series of product innovations to its platform for podcast creation, hosting, and advertising services at Podfest Expo 2023 including the debut of Libsyn Connect (Beta), a browser-based podcast collaboration tool that delivers incredibly high-quality remote recording. Libsyn will be showcasing its offerings at booth #1 for those of you making the trek to Orlando. Among the latest platform innovations and partnerships: -Integrated into Libsyn’s industry-leading platform, Libsyn Connect (Beta) delivers a comprehensive, feature-rich recording solution that provides creators with everything they need to record the highest quality interviews. Among the key Libsyn Connect (Beta) recording features:Integrated multitrack recording saves time and provides greater flexibility and control during editing and post-production for creators. -Continuous sync recording to ensure that all guest recordings are of the highest quality and synchronized, especially for remote guest participants. -A built-in chat feature that enables creators to have a sidebar conversation with podcast guests to minimize editing. -The option to easily record on mobile devices for podcasters on the go. -Libsyn is among the first podcast platforms to integrate with Apple Podcasts Subscriptions — empowering Libsyn creators to launch and grow podcast subscriptions by streamlining the publishing process to Apple Podcasts. -With the integration of Studio into Libsyn, creators can now easily produce their podcast with automated post-production processing inside the Libsyn toolset — including the addition of a Reusable Chapter tool to speed podcast creation. If you don't know, Libsyn is one of the largest companies in the podcasting space. Founded in 2004, Liberated Syndication Inc. (“Libsyn”) hosted over 75,000 shows with 5.8 million podcast episodes and delivered over six billion downloads to listeners globally in 2021. Libsyn’s AdvertiseCast marketplace combines an ad buying and management platform with full-service capabilities that make it easy for podcast advertisers to initiate and manage highly targeted and measurable campaigns on over 3,000 shows. 

#podcasting #podcast #economics #pets

[kpopmakesmeweep]

badboy!yeonjun x innocent!reader 

word count: 21k

angst, fluff, smut

when your teacher asked you to tutor in the beginning of the school year, you were hesitant even then. 

you knew that it meant your lunch period and one study hall for the day were gonna be completely booked, helping younger kids grasp the basic idea that the mitochondria was the powerhouse of the cell.

but then you met one young girl desperate to pass her first test in october and knew your teacher had gotten you, sending a small, defeated smile her way as you gave her the okay to put your name on the list. 

you didn’t expect to come back from winter break with the news that the next student you’d be tutoring wasn’t a sweet 7th grade girl but none other than choi yeonjun. 

the overwhelmingly attractive but horribly intimidating boy who was a year older than you and had, quite possibly, one of the worst reputations the school has ever seen.

if he wasn’t getting suspended for fighting or smoking on school grounds, you’d attempt to block out the mindless gossip about him and all the college girls he’d frequently fraternize with. 

he was in your lunch period when you were a sophomore and he was a junior and you couldn’t help but be fascinated by how handsome he was. how he carried himself and how everyone else seemed to be fascinated by him too.

he was always wearing some variation of black, like his closet was just an empty void of black leather, dark cotton and chains. if he didn’t have on a beanie or hat, his then blue hair was a mess of waves that always made you look a few seconds too long.

you’ll never forget the day that he caught you, your nose in a textbook as you studied for a midterm before a loud shout of his name caught your attention. 

you looked up and watched one of his friends playfully punch him in the arm, something about him hooking up with the older girl he had his eye on first and yeonjun only smirking at him devilishly. 

he didn’t look apologetic or regretful in the slightest, more so like he’d do again just because he could and just because he knew the girl would be eager to have another go with him. 

your breath caught in your throat when his deep brown eyes met yours, his head cocked as he held your gaze with all the confidence and smugness you could never have. 

it took his lips quirking into a cocky smile for you to snap out of it, cheeks warming and stomach churning at getting caught before you dropped your gaze right back down to your book.

it was a quick and thorough reminder that this is where you feel comfortable and this is where you belong - with your nose in a book and your mind on your studies. 

you’ve always intended to just get through high school with good grades and minimal distractions, a small (almost non-existent) friend group that left you able to make straight a’s and work a small, part-time job.

you’d done a pretty good job of that thus far, no bad boys covered in all black and sliver chains to show you that, maybe, getting out of your comfort zone isn’t such a bad thing after all.  

you met yeonjun during your 7th period study hall a week later than intended, him not showing up to either of the periods your teacher informed you both last week. 

you weren’t surprised in the slightest but also wouldn’t dare tattle on him, simply dodging the questions from your teacher or giving her a polite smile and cryptic answer. 

but you couldn’t even stop the way your eyes widened when the library door opened and he was making his way toward you, black beanie placed on his head along with a dark shirt tight across his chest paired with gray sweatpants that made you bite down on your lip.

his hair was pink now, long with a slight wave to it that looked all too soft and inviting to touch; the color probably shouldn’t work on anyone but, of course, it works on him. 

devastatingly attractive in a way that doesn’t seem fair nor human. 

he hasn’t said a word to you, he wasn’t even within six feet of you yet, but you were already scared shitless. you already didn’t trust yourself to be around him and not make a bumbling fool of yourself. 

a pretty smirk crossed his face when he stood in front of you, looking down at you with a playful look in his eye that was far too mocking and sinister. 

“hey. y/n, right?”

you never would’ve pictured this man saying (or even knowing) your name, nor him looking at you so willingly and intensely, but you have to quickly snap yourself out of it. 

this was as professional a relationship could be between two students and you really had to get it together. 

“hi, yes... that’s me,” you say softly. 

so softly that you’re not even sure he can hear it but you can, unfortunately, hear the tremor in your own voice and it’s nothing but absolute embarrassment. 

he happens to like it though, if the way his eyes light up and his smirk widens tells you anything. 

“i’m yeonjun.”

“i know.”

you say the statement far too quickly and it causes your face to warm, your mouth hanging open as the amusement continues to build behind his eyes; you can see with your own that the boy is too handsome for his own good but something tells you he’s probably far too charming as well. 

“i mean... we were supposed to meet last week,” you attempt to clarify.

it seems like a good save, something to make, both, your embarrassment lessen slightly and for him to know you’re aware that he missed the two sessions last week. 

but it doesn’t seem to work, the boy sitting down across from you with all the confidence and smoothness in the world. he leans in closer and you hold your breath, horribly lonely and touch-starved heart fluttering in your chest. 

“i know, sorry about that,” he says, a genuineness in his voice that you can’t help but question. “i was busy with some things.”

you don’t know what to say so you don’t say anything, not even wanting to think about what kind of things keeps a man like him busy.

your teeth sinks into your bottom lip nervously and you can just feel his eyes burning into you, moving across your pink face and down to your soft white sweater; it makes you look every bit as innocent as he’s presumed you to be and he can’t say it doesn’t make him smile. 

“and yet, the teacher didn’t say anything to me about missing.”

you meet his eyes at his questioning tone, so scrutinizing and intense that you feel very grateful about your decision not to blow up his spot; you don’t even wanna know what he looks like when he’s angry. 

or maybe you do, some darker and suppressed part of yourself thinks. 

“that’s because i didn’t tell her,” you say quietly, a lump forming in your throat that you’re trying desperately to push down. “i didn’t wanna....” 

you almost say tattle and you think your face wold turn an unnatural shade of red if that silly word left your mouth in front of him.

so you meekly and sweetly decide on, “i didn’t wanna get you in trouble,” a smile gracing his face that almost makes you feel like you’d done a good job or something. 

and how ridiculous does that sound? you did a good job for the older, delinquent boy - you don’t know what’s gotten into you. 

maybe his smile and his eyes and just the way he’s looking at you is making you feel as if you’re actually something to look at - you’ve never really been observed the way he’s observing you. 

a deep, melodic chuckle leaving his mouth causes you to swallow nervously, watching him with a blank expression because you’re not sure if he’s laughing at you or with you.

your heart stutters when he leans back to stretch, his arm squeezing at the back of his neck; it takes everything in you not to watch his arm flex.

“how’d i know you were a good girl, hm?”

your eyes widen at his words, stomach swooping in a way that’s only ever happened when you watch couples on tv or read about a romance in books. 

because it’s not only his words, it’s the way he carries himself. the way he’s looking at you and speaking to you, the way you never thought anyone would - let alone him. 

he must mistake your utter...shock and fascination for confusion, eyes wide and cheeks flushed and he suddenly wants to place his hand on your cheek. 

see if it’s as warm and soft as it appears to be in this very moment.

“you were in my lunch last year, no?” he hums, looking directly at you with zero ounce of fear and ever bit of confidence. “always with a textbook or writing something.”

he doesn’t remember all the girls that gawk at him but he remembered you immediately. 

caught your gaze early last year and saw something flicker in your eyes, a soft and innocent fascination he wasn’t used to seeing but immediately made him wanna ruin you - he wanted to ruin you and he didn’t even know you. 

he just knew that he’d watch you sometimes, discreetly and quickly, but enough to get his fix.

when he entered the cafeteria and made sure you were sitting there with your your face buried in a book. 

when you’d get up to buy lunch or a bottle of water, pull down your skirt or adjust your hair in a way that made him wanna touch you in a similar fashion.

when you’d leave five minutes early (in what he fantasized was so you wouldn’t be late) and send him one last glance. feel your soft, hesitant gaze on his face and meet it carelessly at the very last second.

just enough to watch you get shy and see the blush so similar to now cross your cheeks. 

he didn’t know your name and he, truthfully, never intended on learning it. because as much as he wanted to truly ruin you, he knew that’s all it was - a dark, twisted fantasy that someone like him shouldn’t act on. 

but then when he walked in and saw you here, the tutor he was dreading to meet in such a familiar position, he knew immediately that you were her. 

the cute girl from his lunch he wasn’t sure was an angel he wanted to protect or someone he wanted to fuck the shit out of. 

you weren’t sure what to think right now, not wanting to get your hopes up or think too much into his question - you were in my lunch last year, no?

think that you were special and he remembers you for reasons far too fantastical so you only nod, figuring he could be taking a guess; there’s only three lunch periods after all. 

“yeah. your hair was blue.”

a smirk crosses his face, chest warming at the fact you remembered him (even though the cocky, confident part inside of him knew you would). 

“yes it was,” he confirms, smiling down at you in a way that makes your heart jump and pound even more. ”i was hoping you’d remember. because i knew i recognized you from somewhere.”

you don’t know how you’re gonna do this. you can barely look at him, how are you supposed to talk to him and teach him twice a week and actually-

“i do wanna ask you something else though.”

your eyebrows pull together at the slight change in his voice, cocking your head to the side as you look at him.

he’s leaning in a little closer now, tiny pink strands hanging from his beanie as his brown eyes bore into yours. there’s still some amusement twinged in his eyes but it all looks very deceptive, unnerving a part of you that your stupid little heart is ignoring. 

he doesn’t allow you to ask him what before he starts talking again. 

“how about we keep these sessions the way they’ve been?” 

your eyebrow raises as confusion continues to plague you; your sessions haven’t even started? 

you haven’t even taught him anything, what could he possibly- but it’s the moment he opens his mouth to speak again, you realize that’s exactly the point. 

“you tell the teacher i’m coming to these and i’ll tell her what a good job you’re doing. how much i’m learning from you and shit.”

a smirk crosses his face when he peers into your eyes, catching the nervous, unsure look in them that only makes his smirk widen - you really are too cute. 

you, on the other hand, don’t know how you feel about his suggestion; you just know how you feel about lying. 

it doesn’t sit well with you and you don’t wanna get in trouble. 

the teacher has a class during this period so it’s not like she’d come down and check but it still makes you incredibly queasy. 

and if he needed tutoring in the first place, he obviously needs help. he’s a senior and needs to keep his grades up so he can graduate. it’d be your fault if he didn’t pass and you’d hate to be the reason he gets-

movement in front of you causes your thoughts to immediately stop, body freezing as you watch him lift his arm and bring his hand to your head. 

he moves a strand of hair from your face before smoothing out the slight crease in your forehead, biting down on his lip when he feels your skin is just as soft and smooth as he suspected. 

“what are you thinking so hard about?”

the deep, low tone of his voice and inquisitive look on his face is dangerous, almost as dangerous as the frantic beating of your heart and the way it’s about to pound out of your chest. 

it’s like he has electric sparks shooting from his hand, making you feel extremely exposed and vulnerable even though his touch is quite gentle and innocent.

“i.... it’s just....” you stutter out, taking a deep breath because you know you need to get it together fast. “you’ve been having trouble, right? that’s... why you needed tutoring in the first place.”

his eyebrow quirks up at your comment and for a split second, you think you’ve offended him. 

“i don’t want you to fail, yeonjun.”

he doesn’t allow himself to dwell on your words, realize that no one has so openly and sweetly said that to him before. or even cared enough to tell him that they don’t want him to fail.

he knows the teachers and counselors get him help because it’s their job. 

he knows his parents bitch and complain about it because they don’t want him repeating high school or wasting their money. 

he knows anyone who says anything to him about it is just doing it to make themselves look like a good person or friend. 

but you just so openly and sweetly said it, a deep concern in your eyes that he knows he can’t dwell on or his similar feelings are gonna arise from last year’s lunch.

where he’s about to throw caution to the wind and do anything and everything he wants to someone as innocent and sweet as you; but he can’t do that and he knows it, he knows that’s why these session can’t happen - on top of the fact that it’s not only you. 

he smokes during lunch and into this period. 

and there’s just no fucking way he’s spending that time suppressing his predatory attraction to you while learning about shit he doesn’t understand and being high as a kite. 

“you don’t gotta worry about me, angel,” he hums lowly, the name falling so naturally and smoothly from his mouth, he doesn’t even realize. “just do that for me, yeah? then you’ll have 7th free.”

you don’t hear much after he calls you angel, just that he’s asking you to do something for him and you’re blindly and dumbly nodding because he just called you that.

and it’s not until he smiles and thanks you deeply, looking over your face once more before saying that he’ll see you around that you realize you’re alone. 

sitting there as you watch yeonjun walk out the door without a glance back and come to terms with the fact you just agreed to lie to your teacher for him.

for almost a month, you were able to keep it up.

it was terrifying and debilitating and it almost sent you into a full blown identity crisis, but you’d somehow managed to do it.

that was until this afternoon, when your teacher cut through the cafeteria during lunch with a cup of coffee in hand and suspicion in the pit of her stomach. 

she saw you sitting there alone, your own books sprawled out around you as you wrote down notes before her short call of your name had your head snapping up. 

her eyes watching you quizzically made your own widen, stomach sinking and heart starting to pound as he she made her way over to you. 

“hi, y/n. where’s yeonjun today? it’s wednesday.”

the period only began ten minutes ago so it wouldn’t be weird for you to say that he wasn’t here yet. that he got held up after class and would be on his way shortly.

but you were just nervous and so bad at lying that you blurted out that he left to go to the bathroom, her eyes roaming the table in what you could only assume was for his books. 

“he took his backpack with him,” you tell her quietly, smiling softly in an effort to hide your guilt and distress. she only hums softly before nodding her head, taking your word for it because why wouldn’t she?

you’re good and studious and wouldn’t ever lie to a teacher.

but then when she comes down to the library next week during 7th period with her class, catching you at the table by yourself, you do it again. 

look her in the face and panic, make a scene of collecting your books as you tell her you forgot you guys were meeting in the cafeteria today - placing the blame on yourself.

you spent the rest of the period in the bathroom, collecting your thoughts and attempting to calm yourself down because you can’t keep lying. 

you haven’t even talked to yeonjun since the first time you met in the library, only seeing him in passing in the hallway or after school. 

he’ll send you a nod paired with his signature smirk and you’ll send him a small smile back, dipping your head before your cheeks flush at the mere sight of his eyes. 

you wish you hadn’t agree to this. 

you wish he didn’t effect you so much and you wish you could tell him you either need to actually help him or tell the teacher he doesn’t want to, because you’re losing your mind. 

you’re anxious and upset and not feeling good about yourself, barely able to look your teacher in the face these days. 

it’s on a friday before lunch, the bell ringing ready to dismiss you from her class, that it all comes crashing down.

she asked you to stay behind for a moment, everything about her face calm and neutral as you made your way over to her desk. 

you were anything but calm as you stood before her, that familiar feeling of dread and guilt rushing in your stomach as you smiled softly at her and asked if everything was okay. 

“yes, i just wanted to say what a great job you’re doing with yeonjun.”

you don’t even know what your face looks like but you know it’s probably the face of someone incredibly guilty, being praised for something you haven’t been doing and taking credit for it even though you know it’s wrong.

the feeling in your stomach confirms all of those feelings, tight and fluttery and buzzing with upset.

“o-oh?” 

“yeah,” she smiles tightly, looking over your face before speaking again. “we just took our third test and he did great. in the low 90s.”

a part of you desperately hopes that to be true, that maybe he started applying himself and somehow started to grasp the material all on his own. you smile at the thought that that’s the case, nodding your head as you, against your better judgment, keep up the facade. 

“i’m happy for him. he’s been working very hard. w-we studied at our last session for it, actually, and he really seemed to be understanding it.”

the contemplative look she gave you should’ve been the first sign that she knew you were full of shit, a quiet hum leaving her mouth. she holds your gaze until the moment you drop it, looking down at your white sneakers until she calls your name softly. 

“y/n... why have you been lying to me?” 

your lips press together as tears prick your eyes, all of the guilt and shame rushing through you at once. 

“he failed his test and i know you guys haven’t been meeting.”

she knows that because you can’t lie. she knows that because yeonjun still doesn’t know anything and all of the students she’s recommended to you have passed with flying colors. 

she knows because when you look up at her, your lip is trembling and it looks like you’re about to burst into tears.

“i... i’m so sorry.”

but even then, even after this moment right here, you’re still not gonna tell on yeonjun. because you don’t want him getting in trouble and you’re not gonna try to excuse your own behavior by admitting you agreed to it. 

you’re just as at fault as the older boy and you’re not gonna pretend you’re not. 

“why have you been lying? you could’ve just told me if you didn’t feel comfortable tutoring him or it wasn’t working out.”

because she knows yeonjun’s reputation. she knows he’s a year older and that you’re one of the shyer students in her class. she was hesitant at first to even put you two together but thought you’d be able to get through to him. 

and because you don’t know what to say, how to make up an excuse that puts neither of you at fault, you don’t say anything. just continue to apologize with teary eyes and a shaky voice before she eventually lets out a sigh. 

“take the next few days to figure it out. try to work on it with him or come to me and be honest that it’s not gonna work. but you didn’t have to lie to me, y/n. i’m a little disappointed in you.”

those words hit you harder than you care to admit, more tears building as you nod your head and quickly leave the room.

you knew from the beginning that it was wrong.

you never felt good about it and you knew it was bad but you still took part in it. she has every right to be disappointed in you and it feels like everything you worked so hard for has been ruined. 

now you look like a liar who can’t be trusted. 

now any time you tell her about another fellow student you’re working with, like the 7th grader you got through to or the 9th grader you helped get an a on their test, she’s gonna wonder if you really did that.

if you really helped them or if you’re just lying about that, too. telling them the answers to their homework or lazily explaining the concepts to them like you don’t work hard with each and every one of them. 

you’re surprised to see yeonjun when you make it to lunch a few moments later, your stomach still in knots and left over tears in your eyes. 

you don’t even realize you’re standing in front of his table until you hear one of his friend’s deep voices, a brash “who are you?” not even filling you with fear. 

you’re only looking at yeonjun pathetically, wide teary eyes and pouty lips in an effort to hold back more tears.

yeonjun’s dressed in his usual attire but you can’t even focus on that, his pink hair flawless against his black shirt and chain hanging around his neck as he adjusts it carelessly. 

soobin’s words catch his attention before your appearance does, looking at the front of the table and taking in the sight of wide, teary eyes and pouty lips; it pulls at something in his chest more than he cares to admit.

“yeonjun, can i talk to you for a second?” 

your voice is wobbly and timid and everything about it so incredibly embarrassing, the tears in your eyes obvious to all the young men around the table. 

you probably look like some girl he slept with and then left on read, begging him for another chance because your heart can’t take not being with him. because you got attached and now it feels like you need him. 

but, really, you just need him to let you tutor him. 

you can’t disappoint the teacher anymore and you had a job to do with him; you should’ve never told him that lying would be okay. 

“who’s this?” his friend asks with a smirk, his hair a bright shade of purple that looks striking next to yeonjun’s. 

“no one,” yeonjun’s quick to snap, looking at you before quickly getting up and guiding you out of the cafeteria by the small of your back. 

he walks down a secluded hallway and out to the garden of the school, looking at the tears in your eyes and feeling himself frown. 

“what happened?”

“i... she found out we haven’t been meeting,” you mumble, feeling silly and childish for crying in front of him about something like this; but you can’t help how you feel, you can’t help feeling sad and guilty about all of this. 

your heart drops when he actually smirks at you, looking over your face with a gaze that’s just as soft as it is amused.

you’re almost positive he’s about to laugh at you, call you a loser for crying over something as juvenile as getting caught in a silly lie and hurt your feelings even more. 

but then you’re quickly stiffening when his hand reaches up, gently brushing at your tears and marveling in just how soft your skin is. 

“that’s why you’re crying?” 

you’re embarrassed to say the least, any words you’d use to justify your reaction caught in your throat - and the smirk on his face isn’t helping either.

“you’re too pretty to cry over stupid shit like that, y/n.”

“it’s not stupid,” you respond, voice shaky and demeanor meek but still able to talk back. 

because it’s not stupid to you. wanting to be nice and studious and a good person isn’t stupid. not wanting to be a liar or someone who goes back on their word isn’t stupid. 

“she trusted me to help you and i lied to her.”

“we lied to her,” he says, voice and eyes teasing as he bends down to be on your level. you think he’s trying to make you feel better, a soft playfulness on his face that does anything but.

because you aren’t like him. 

you aren’t cool and feared and you can’t not care about how you effect other people. 

“why didn’t you just tell her it was my idea?” he asks suddenly, his eyes roaming your face in such a gentle but curious way. “she probably already knows that.”

“i... i didn’t want you to get in trouble.”

he rises to his full height as a small smile crosses his face, your soft voice and sweet words again effecting him far too much. he shouldn’t feel this way toward you and he shouldn’t want to be tutored now.

he shouldn’t be reaching out to touch the smooth skin of your cheek, a few stray tears making his lips fall into the smallest of frowns as you hear his voice the softest it’s ever been. 

“i wouldn’t get in trouble, angel.”

and there’s that word again. making your wet eyes widen and stomach to flutter, wondering how and why that simple word sounds so nice leaving his mouth. 

maybe because you’ve never been called that before. 

could only imagine being called that by someone, let alone him, in such a way. or maybe it’s because it is him, the boy you watched for months on end, forever fascinated by the way he carried himself. 

or maybe it’s because-

“but even if i did, how’s that your problem? why would you care?”

it’s a fair question you suppose but it doesn’t stop you from licking at your lips nervously, an all too familiar (and embarrassing) blush warming your cheeks. 

“i mean... it’s not,” you mutter shyly, not sure if you’re more intimidated by him calling you out or the look on his face. 

but even with those feelings, you’re still able to meet his gaze. 

take in the deep, dark intensity staring back at you in his brown eyes. they’re softer than one would expect, almost soft enough to make you forget what you were wanting to say. 

“but it’s just as much my fault as it is yours. so it didn’t seem fair.”

he smirks so he doesn’t say anything too brash, looking over the blush on your cheeks. his hand itches to move your hair behind your ear, a move he’d always do because he knew it was charming. 

knew it’d get him laid and get a girl’s heart fluttering.

but now he wants to do it just to touch you, feel your hair and skin and watch the blush on your cheeks deepen; but before he can do anything, he’s surprised to hear you speak anything.

“but it’s also not fair to keep lying,” you say softly, a broken little smile crossing your face as you look at him. “i actually really hated the lying... so if you don’t wanna do the sessions, i’m gonna tell her it’s not gonna work for us. but if you change your mind, i’m still free during those periods.”

at that moment, he had every intention of telling you no. 

he didn’t wanna give up his free time and energy to learn about things he’s absolutely sure he’s never gonna need to know after this. 

he didn’t wanna sit through the sessions high or not get high at all, the only way he’s able to cope with the last period of the school day knowing that he could roll a joint in his car with soobin. 

he didn’t wanna resist his obvious attraction and borderline fascination with you, act on it in a way he knows you’re not ready for and in a way he shouldn’t.

but when he walked in the library on monday, the time he told you he’d get back to you, you looked up and smiled at him. it was such a small, quick smile but everything about it called to him.

the twinge in your eyes and the way your hair fell, how even though your smile was small, it lit up your face and made you the prettiest girl he’d ever seen in his life.

at that moment, you were positive he was about to tell you no.

that thanks but no thanks, he’s absolutely not gonna spend his free period being tutored by a younger student who only stutters and blushes in his presence. 

but when he sat down in front of you, a smirk on his face and eyebrow quirked, you couldn’t even hold back your look of surprise. 

a deep chuckle left his mouth when he caught your expression, the sound one of the best noises you’ve ever heard.  

“what? did you think i wasn’t coming back, angel?”

it took you a month to see yeonjun was just as confident and just as much trouble as you’d expected. 

he was far too charming and attractive and funny, a sarcasm and wit in him that made you muffle your giggles like a middle school girl. 

you weren’t used to talking playfully with the people you tutored, always so focused on getting the work done and making sure you were doing a good job explaining the material for them.

but yeonjun always made sure to delay it, attempt to get to know you before you could even discuss his homework or review sheet; and even though it hasn’t been easy, he’s been persistent in breaking down that wall you put up.

“did the flashcards help or do you think you’re more of a-”

“why don’t you ever go out?”

you suppress the urge to let out a sigh as you turn to look at him, his expressive eyes looking over your face.

you’ve gotten used to the feel of his gaze on you, almost like it was burning into your skin and leaving you exposed to the bone, but it didn’t help when you made eye contact.

looked into his eyes and saw him looking back at you so confidently and so easily, you couldn’t help but feel flustered.

“what do you mean?”

you know exactly what he means but it’s the only thing you could think to say.  

you know more than anyone how much time you spend alone in your room, watching tv series and reading books and reorganizing until you don’t even recognize your own space.

but it’s not that you’re bothered by it, that’s what you like going. not going out isn’t something you find bad or upsetting.

“i mean i see people from your grade at our parties a lot,” he hums lowly, his eyes leaving yours only to look at the soft, pastel pink material of your sweater.

“but you’re never there,” he continues, looking at you and cocking his head to the side questioningly. “why’s that?”

“well, i’m not...invited, i guess,” you mumble out, ignoring the way your cheeks warm even more. “i like sticking to myself. and staying home.”

the words and your tone bring a pout to his face, your eyebrow raising at the sight. why is looking at you like that?

“well now you have an invite,” he says, a teasing smile crossing his face. “come to my friend’s party tonight. soobin, do you know him? he has the purple hair?”

his voice is far too sweet and soft compared to the look in his eye, teasing and flirty and reminding you of just how dangerous he is. how he’s capable of having so many different sides, he nearly gives you whiplash. 

he’s the bad boy everyone thinks of him to be, skipping class and getting high and ditching tutoring lessons by smiling too kindly at a mousy little tutor. 

he’s the play boy you see come out when he looks at you a second too long, bringing a blush to your cheeks and stirring something very unfamiliar in the pit of your stomach. 

but then he has a softer side you see sometimes, like when he decided to do these lessons in the first place because you cried to him and made yourself look even more pathetic. 

“i’m happy you decided to do these,” you say to him quietly. 

it was only your second session but you wanted him to know you were supportive of his decision. that, even if your word meant nothing (because, really, who are you to him?), you were proud of him.

it’s not easy for a senior to give up a period or two to learn about things they don’t understand; you probably wouldn’t wanna do it either, if school and learning didn’t come naturally to you. 

but for whatever reason, he agreed to do it.

“oh?” he hums, the trademark smirk on his face causing your cheeks to warm.

“yeah,” you smile softly, nodding your head before looking down at your clasped fingers. “i just... wanted you to know that. i understand why you didn’t want to but i think it’ll be good for-”

“why do you think i didn’t want to?” 

you look at him and for a split second you’re scared that you offended him. you suppose you don’t really know him well enough to make an assumption about him but you just assumed he-

“or, you know what, no,” he says, shaking his head as he pushes his chair closer to yours. 

he leans over the desk the same way he did during your first meeting last month, bringing your faces closer until you can smell cologne and the faint stench of cigarettes. 

“i wanna hear why you think i changed my mind?”

you quirk an eyebrow as you look at him, staring blankly until you realize he just plans on doing the same. 

“well... i guess it’s because you wanted to do good, right?” you ask meekly, unsure why he changed his mind but knowing that you were happy he did. “and maybe you didn’t wanna disappoint the teacher.”

a deep chuckle leaves his mouth that has butterflies erupting in your stomach, watching as he shakes his head and meets your gaze again. 

“is that no it?” you ask bravely, your wide eyes and confused look causing his own stomach to do flips. “what’s so funny?”

but he’s quick to push it down, reach over to ruffle your hair in a way that makes your eyebrows pull together. 

“nothing, angel,” he mumbles, his eyes roaming yours. you see the exact moment there’s s witch behind them, a flirty and darker front he puts up melting into a soft, vulnerable look.

“but thank you for telling me that. because i’m happy i’m doing them, too.”

he has yet to tell you the reason all these weeks later, probably because you wouldn’t dare ask again, but whatever it was, must’ve greatly inspired him.

because over these weeks, he’s really been putting in the work. writing notes and listening to you and asking questions when he’s not making you blush or inviting you out just for you to decline. 

“so...?” he asks, a charismatic smile stretching across his face as he looks at you awaitingly. “what do you say? you wanna come?”

“no, thank you,” you smile politely, feeling bad for downright denying it but the offer feeling far too similiar to cliche movies you’ve watched. where the popular boy invites the nerd to a party and everyone laughs at her, questions why the hell she’s here and pulls some stupid, immature prank on her.

but this isn’t a movie and you don’t think you even have the capacity to show your face there, nor would anyone care that much to target you. 

dismissing him is easier than really considering you hanging out with him outside of this library. seeing him in a different setting and allowing him to see a different side of you.

not you looking at him pleadingly, your eyes moving to the paper in front of him as you ask him to do the next question.

“i’ll do it if you come tomorrow night,” he says, a sigh leaving your mouth as you look at him in frustration.

“yeonjun...”

because if there’s another thing you’ve learned about yeonjun, it’s that he knows you have trouble saying no to him. it could because he sees the naivety in you, seeing something good in him at times and thinking you’ll really be able to help him.

but maybe he hopes you can help him, too. be a person he can lean on and know 100% is gonna be there for him. 

“c’mon, y/n, don’t you wanna have a little fun?”

“i don’t think i’d find it fun,” you mutter honestly, a pout forming on your lips that has him swearing he’s never wanted to kiss someone as much as he wants to kiss you in this moment.

just brush his lips gently against yours, hear the little sounds and see your reactions that he knows will be the best thing he’s ever had. hold your waist and feel your skin against his that while it’s juvenile to him would be so much to you. 

“you don’t know until you try, y/n,” he mutters lowly, looking up at him and seeing his gaze is, as usual, unrelenting. “have you ever been to a party before?”

of course you’ve been to parties before; birthday parties, graduation parties, wedding parties - but you’ve never been to a high school house party. 

and are you about to tell him that? absolutely not. 

“of course i have,” you mumble, a smirk on his lips because he can tell by the way you avert eye contact that you’re lying. “but it’s just... especially with kids from school who i don’t know? i don’t think it’d be fun, yeonjun.”

“but i’d be there?” he whines, something very uncharacteristic of someone who is known to be a bad boy. “isn’t that fun enough?”

you let out a groan as you frown again, tapping the notebook in front of you lightly as you meet his close gaze. 

“your test is next week, yeonjun. can you please focus on that right now?” 

it’s not until the next session that he thinks to use that to his advantage, supposing he can stand one more party without your presence as he smiles over at you. 

“let’s make a deal, angel.”

you know when he calls you that that you’re not about to talk about school or his test, looking over at him with a raised eyebrow. 

“if i get 100 on my test next week, you come to one of soobin’s party.”

you have to suppress a groan at the way he’s not letting up on this damn party, biting down on your lip as you do your best to give him a serious look.

“you should get the 100 because you want to, not because you’re trying to-”

his finger on your lips is the next thing you’re only able to focus on.

not the pounding of your heart or increasing anxiety at the thought of a party or  the fact that there’s more people in the library than usual today. 

you’re only aware of him touching you, a quiet “sh,” leaving his mouth that has your stomach fluttering far more than you care to admit. 

he meets your wide-eyed gaze and smirks at the look on your face. his finger presses down on your bottom lip gently, dragging it slowly and watching as it pops back up. 

there’s an almost pained look in his eyes that you can’t make out, his eyes never moving from your lips before meeting your gaze again. 

“i want a lot of things, y/n,” he says, his voice deep and gruff and making your heart pound even more as he looks to your mouth again. 

you feel your lower stomach swoop at the way he bites down on his bottom lip, his other hand ghosting over to rest of your knee. 

your uniform skirt comes just above your knees, becoming higher when you sit and perfectly exposing your tight covered legs. his large hand rests on your knee like it completely belongs there, like he’s gonna dare anyone to tell him it doesn’t belong there and to take his hands off you.  

“things i probably shouldn’t tell you yet so your pretty little face doesn’t become beat red,” he mumbles in your ear, his warm breath fanning onto your skin and making a shaky, embarrassing sigh leave your mouth.  

but just him realizing that makes your cheeks flush. everything about his closeness and his words and the way he’s just saying these things to you right in the middle of the library. 

the way his hand is slipping inside of your knee, fingers resting on the inside of your thigh that has some dirty, repressed part of you desperate to spread your legs just a little bit more for him.

feel more of his skin on you and heighten the feeling building in your lower half. 

“but i can assure you, none of them are an on my test. but if that means getting you to spend time with me outside of this fucking hellhole, i’m gonna do it.”

just as fast as his hand was on your thigh, it’s gone and cupping your face. holding on to your jaw as he makes you look at him and has a look of softness and amusement but also darkness and arousal. 

it probably has every bit to do with the fact you let out a tiny squeal when he did so, your eyes widening and legs now spreading apart ever so slightly. 

“do you understand now?” 

you should have the power here being his tutor but you don’t. you’re the cat and he’s the mouse, you’re the prey and he’s the predator and you’re not about to do anything to stop it. 

“ye-yes yeonjun,” you say, a groan almost leaving his mouth at you how compliant you are already. 

and it’s that reaction right there that has him skipping the party on friday and spending his weekend doing something he never thought he’d do his senior year - making flashcards and studying his ass off. 

you remember being incredibly proud when, two weeks later, yeonjun came to your session with his graded test paper in hand. 

he looked happy and accomplished and ready to take on the world, a warm feeling blooming in your chest at the look on his face.

“how’d you do?” you smiled up at him, your eyes soft and expression excited.

when he flipped the test over to reveal his 100% test, your first instinct was to raise your hand for a high five. it’s what you always did with the younger kids, praising them and sharing their excitement over a test that they worked incredibly hard on.

so when you did the same thing to him, quickly realizing he’s not one of your 7th grade students but an absurdly attractive man, your cheeks flushed and you stuttered out a “sorry.”

but he only chuckled lightly and high-fived you immediately, lacing your fingers from across the table before you could pull away. the action caught you off guard more than your nerdy high-five, eyes looking down to your conjoined hands before you gave him an incredulous look.

“what are you doing?” you squeak out, fearing that your hand’s about to get clammy and your heart may explode.

“don’t tell me you don’t remember our deal?”

you realized before you even entered soobin’s house that you made a grave mistake. 

music was pounding through the open windows of the house and a few people were littered across the lawn. a drunken couple sloppily making out while another one fought about someone dancing with a stranger all before ten p.m.

you truly intended on never coming, telling yeonjun you seriously could not go through with this and had to flake out on your deal. 

but he’d been so proud of his test. not just because it meant you were coming but because it showed him he was actually capable - or at least, that was the story he told you.

and whether you were silly and naive to believe him was on you since now, you’re walking into a party looking like someone’s holding a weapon to your back. 

“so i’ll see you tonight, right?” 

you were still hesitant even during 7th period this afternoon, looking at yeonjun with a pained expression. 

“yeonjun... i really don’t know if i can do it.”

“why not? i’m gonna be there, just for you.”

you swallow down a bold, sassy remark that he’s gonna be there anyway, probably to remind your fluttering heart not to think too much into his comment. 

but is him being there enough to make you go? or is that scaring you more? seeing him outside of school, around his friends, in an environment where he can be even more bold and daring. 

after all, being in the school library didn’t stop him from creeping his hand up your inner thigh.

“i don’t just wanna follow you around all night and bother you like a lost puppy,” you whine quietly, knowing this was part of the deal but seeing just how impossible it is. 

“how could you think you’d bother me?” he asks, his head cocked to the side just as the bell ringing interrupts you. 

you let out a sigh as you stand to gather your books. you can feel his watchful eyes on you, attempting to ignore it as you silently get ready to go to next period. 

he mistakes you walking away from the table to throw out a stray sheet of paper as you leaving, quickly rising from his feet and pulling you back into him. your body collides with his before he presses you against the table, the library nearly empty as the loud chatter of students can be heard from the hallways. 

“were you gonna leave without answering me?”

his voice is deep and has a certain dominating darkness behind it, your eyes raising to his just in time to see him cock an eyebrow up. 

“i... i was gonna throw this out,” you answer dumbly, raising the crumpled up paper behind your back. 

he hums thoughtfully before taking it from your hand, crumbling it up and tossing it in the nearest garbage can. he misses but makes no attempt to pick it up, keeping you pinned between him and the table with no qualms about it. 

“you missed,” you point out obviously. 

a smirk crosses his lips as he lets out a hum, bringing his hand up to smooth out a piece of your hair. 

“i’m gonna ask again,” he mumbles lowly in your ear, his large body and deep voice quickly making your breaths quicken. 

“how could you think you’d bother me when i spent my entire weekend studying for that test?” he asks, his hands snaking down your body before gently resting onto your hips. 

him pulling you closer causes another shaky sigh to leave you, your low, warning mumble of his name only making him smirk. he shouldn’t like this so much, how you sound so sweet and flustered and are allowing him have you like this. 

“that was all for you, angel. not for me or the teacher or my parents or anyone else. just you. because i wanna hang out with you.”

you swallow the nervous lump in your throat as you raise your eyes to meet his, the playfulness that was in them turning the slightest bit dark. something in them making you lick over your lips as you try to calm your racing heart.

“you won’t even know when i’m there. how am i gonna find you?”

it’s the worst excuse you could have ever thought of but you’re not surprised since yeonjun was pressed against your body and breathing down your neck the way he was. 

he chuckled lowly like he also knew it was the worst excuse you could’ve thought of, taking your phone from the table. he slides it open and looks to you, his eyebrow raised when you just continue to stare at him blankly. 

then you remember, like every other teenager in the world, you have a lock on your phone.

“0319.”

he smirks at how easily you give it up, tapping a few buttons on the screen before handing it back to you.

“i put my number in there. text me when you’re there, 

so even with a pit in your stomach and anxiety coursing through your veins, you go to his new contact name and type out “i’m here.”

you’re faintly aware of the fighting couple’s voices growing louder, his deep groans mixed with her higher pitched whines causing you to look over. 

“i saw you touch her waist!” the girl yelps, her hands on her hips with a very obvious look of distaste. “so obviously you didn’t mind! maybe you should dance with her the rest of the night!”

“maybe i will, since you’re so god damn annoying,” he yells back, your lips falling into a frown. 

the girl meets your gaze and it’s then you recognize her as a girl in your grade. she’s from the popular group but is one of the nicer ones, always smiling politely at other students and listening to teachers during their lessons. 

she almost looks embarrassed to be caught in this scenario, a broken smile crossing her face before her boyfriend notices your gaze; you don’t recognize him, so you think he must be in yeonjun’s grade. 

“what the fuck are you looking at?”

your cheeks flush as you immediately snap your head away, quickly becoming scared and uncomfortable. you can hear her chastising him but just want to be away as soon as possible, the prospect of this drunk man cursing at you somehow worse than a house full of strangers.

yeonjun hasn’t answered your text but you still take a deep breath as you walk toward the front door, immediately hit with the scent of alcohol, b.o. and weed. there’s loud music blaring from the speakers and making the house vibrate, bodies littered throughout the house as they all talk loudly and dance.

your eyes scan the room for his pink hair, stomach sinking when you see no sign of him. 

is he even here yet? he told you he was coming at nine but could he be running late? or did he forget entirely, ignore your text as a joke and now you have to-

“hey. how do i know you?” 

the first thing you see is purple hair and you’re immediately thrown back into the crowded cafeteria all those months ago. when you so boldly went up to yeonjun with tears in your eyes and he was quick to pull you away. 

you remember the boy in front of you asking who you were, the same curiosity in his eyes now as you stand in his house looking extremely uncomfortable and out of place. 

“i... my name’s y/n,” you begin quietly, the boy barely able to hear you over the music and loud chatter. “i had to talk to yeonjun during lunch once so i went up to your table and-”

“well shit, so you’re her.”

there’s a smirk on his face and gleam in his eye, like he knows something you don’t. you cock your head to the side in confusion, watching as his smirk widens and he nods his head approvingly. 

“his tutor, right? he told me about you.”

“oh... yeah,” you say quietly, because yeah, that would make sense - his friends probably wonder where he goes during his free period now; there’s a few beats of awkward silence before he speaks up again.

“so what are you doing here?”

your cheeks flush and you wish you could blame the stuffiness of his house, looking to him as you stutter out that yeonjun invited you. 

“did he now,” he hums, his eyes roaming your face and stopping on your cheeks. he doesn’t know what exactly yeonjun wants from a girl like you but he has to be honest in saying he sees the appeal. 

“follow me then, sweetheart. you want a drink?”

you shake your head before following behind him, making eye contact with one too many intimidating boys and girls before landing on your feet. everyone’s in pretty heeled boots and crop tops, dancing and singing and grinding like they don’t have any cares in the world. 

like they’re not terrified and dreading being here, even with the knowledge that the attractive boy they may or may not have developed a crush on is lingering  around.

“oh, yeonjunnie,” you hear soonbin whine sarcastically, your eyes shooting up just in time to see his familiar black attire. his pink hair is poking out of his black beanie, the chain around his neck hanging low as he turns to look at his friend. 

“i found someone for you,” the boy says before yeonjun can respond, bringing you around to the front. 

you’re in the middle of both boys who tower over you and you’re not sure if you’ve ever felt more threatened; especially because when yeonjun looks at you, you’d think he didn’t know your name. 

because he doesn’t give you a hi or a smile or even a flicker of recognition in his gaze.

he looks at you and simply says, “well, shit, i didn’t think you’d actually come,” with such a handsomely conniving smirk, you’re not sure what to think in that moment. 

because it seems as if all your silly, irrational fears are coming true in this moment. very much like the movies you’ve seen and scenarios you’ve pictured where you’re humiliated at a party or by the popular boy. 

but his smile and his words seemed so genuine. he’s seemed so genuine getting to know you these past few months, how could he have faked it so well? 

the way your face drops and cheeks warm cause his heart to break a little, still all too aware of the questioning eyes and lingering looks thrown your way. 

“didn’t you invite her?” soobin questions, looking between you and him and noting how embarrassed you look.

“i did,” is all yeonjun responds. no rhyme or reason or answer as to why he did. just that he did. so it could very well be a joke. 

“well then, welcome, y/n,” soobin responds, reaching his hand out to you. “i’m soobin, in case we weren’t formally introduced.”

you give him a tight smile, yeonjun’s piercing gaze on yours as you take soobin’s large hand in yours. 

“nice to meet you.”

your voice is soft and shaky and brings more heat to your cheeks, wanting to die when soobin rips up one of his friends for you to sit on the couch.

“i don’t mind standing,” you insist, shaking your head and offering a small smile to the other boy.

“no, no, pretty girls shouldn’t stand,” soobin says with a smirk, catching the way yeonjun’s eyes roll and jaw clenches; it all goes unnoticed to you, though, too busy sitting down and looking at your hands nervously folded into one another.

“so y/n,” soobin says, sitting down across from you and leaning forward the same way yeonjun does during his tutoring sessions. “what’s it like to tutor this idiot?”

his words are laced with affection, as are his actions as he ruffles yeonjun’s beanie playfully, but they still make you frown. still make you wanna defend him in front of others and ensure that he’s not an idiot. 

“he’s great actually,” you say softly, lips pulled up in a soft smile. “very smart and learns fast. definitely not an idiot.”

you look to the boy to see him staring blankly at you, heart sinking in your chest; you’re becoming increasingly uncomfortable in this environment and a big part of it as to do with his attitude. 

you weren’t expecting him to be overly excited, kiss your feet upon seeing you arrive or proclaim an irrational excitement. but it kind of seems as if, right now, he could care less that you’re here.

“ahh, that’s cool then,” soobin smiles. “you’re a year younger than us, right?” 

you can only hum a small “mhm,” yeonjun’s gaze burning into your face causing you to look at him. 

it’s the same soft, wide-eyed look you give him during your sessions but right now, it’s making him feel far too unsettled. like people seeing him with you are gonna show them a different side to him he has yet to acknowledge. 

“why’d you decide to come?” he asks, not being able to stop the words; he already knows the answer, he basically begged you too. 

and because you’ve been nothing but sweet and soft to him, he’s not surprised when you don’t throw it in his face that he’s the one who enforced this. that he studied for nights to pass that test so you’d feel inclined to come. 

“i thought it’d be fun,” you say sweetly, i thought we’d be able to have fun outside of school like you claimed to have wanted. “i don’t really come to parties a lot.”

“i can’t imagine why, you seem really sweet and funny,” soobin says, a flirty smile on his face that makes a blush creep up on your cheeks; he’s so bold and confident, you don’t know both of them do it. “you should come to more.”

seeing that shade of pink on your cheeks from someone else angers yeonjun more than he cares to admit, throwing his friend a dirty look before growling at him to shut up. 

“why? she’s sweet, isn’t she? maybe i need to be tutored too,” soobin says, throwing a smile your way as he plops down in the spot next to you. “what periods are you free? maybe we can go out for lunch and have a session.”

“i... i’m not allowed to leave for lunch.”

that’s a school rule - only seniors are allowed to leave for lunch. but with the way soobin laughs and yeonjun hold back a smirk, the other people littered around also letting out soft chuckles, it appears that’s something not many people follow. 

“you can with me,” soobin assures, patting your knee softly as he sends another charming smile your way. “i’ll make sure you don’t get in trouble.”

you smile in an effort to downplay your embarrassment and discomfort, an annoyed sigh leaving yeonjun as he rises from his seat. he looks even more big and broad surrounded by these people for some reason, in his element where he fits in like a glove.

it’s even more evident that you don’t fit in here - at least in the library, that’s a place you belong. the quiet, the smell of books, the solidarity, a keen sense of-

“i’m getting another drink.”

yeonjun’s words are short and deep as he quickly gets up, hauling ass to the kitchen before anyone can even respond to him. his friend must see the look on your face too, a small pout on your lips that has the boy frowning next to you.

“don’t worry about him, he’s grouchy tonight,” soonbin says reassuringly, wrapping his arm around you affectionately. “some girl stood him up.”

the first thing you feel is a blow to your chest, an unfamiliar pain right in the center as you register soobin’s words; he begged you to come tonight but was waiting for another girl.

probably one of the many college girls, who are prettier and funnier and more charismatic than you.

so, really, you can’t be surprised. you were silly to think he liked you in the way you thought, in the way you’ve come to discover you like him because he makes you smile and laugh and feel warm inside.

but even so, you’re hurt.

you’re hurt and embarrassed and feel humiliated even though no one knows the real reason you came here and stepped way out of your comfort zone. thank god for that, you think, because it’d be even more horrible if people knew you came for yeonjun, all while he was waiting for someone else.

“oh,” you manage to squeak out, a soft look on your face despite the pain and embarrassment inside of you. “that’s too bad.”

“yeah,” soobin says, looking at you with sympathetic eyes you know you can’t trust. “he’ll be good, though.”

you bet he will, you think, because that’s just who choi yeonjun is. he doesn’t care who he strings along or makes believe is special - he’s gonna do what he wants when he wants it with no regard for how it effects other.

even a sweet little meek tutor he was able to get under his thumb the first day he met her.

when yeonjun returns, he can tell immediately that something is wrong with you. your hands are clasped together and you’re biting the inside of your cheek, fiddling nervously as you listen in on the conversation around you.

you meet his gaze and he’s quick to look away, one because he got caught and two because he doesn’t know if he can handle the look in your eye right now.

you’re always almost about to make him crack, break down into being someone worthy of you, and he doesn’t wanna do that tonight. doesn’t wanna show everyone here that, if he wants to, he can be a worthy person.

you’re a second away from breaking before soobin asks if you wanna dance, a tight smile on your face as you shake your head.

“i... i’m actually gonna go outside for a sec,” you say, knowing full well you’re gonna book it to your car and never return. “it’s hot in here. i need some air.”

“there’s plenty of air in here, angel,” soobin remarks, your eyes widening at the term.

it sounds different coming from his mouth, not as deep and melodic and it doesn’t let off a bunch of butterflies in your stomach. you’re too busy giggling softly as you shake your head that you don’t hear the deep, low noise of distaste leave yeonjun’s mouth.

you only see him grab soobin’s arm when he tries to get up to follow you, a lowly growled “let her go,” that makes your eyebrows pull together; you don’t know if he’s trying to hurt your feelings on purpose but he’s certainly doing it a lot tonight.

it feels like you can finally take a deep breath when you get outside, no one around except the chilly air and starry sky. it makes you feel a bit better, sinking down on the stairs and humming contently when your hands meet the cold concrete.

you passed by the dancing people and laughing, smiley couples inside and felt silly for coming here. silly for thinking yeonjun wanted you in his life without him getting something out of it.

what would he want from you anyway? what could you possibly give him when he’s already had so much better?

tears prick your eyes and you bury your face in your hands, taking deep calming breaths so the harsh winter air doesn’t feel like it’s burning you.

you avoided boys and feelings like this for so long and with good reason; you’re too sensitive and naive and always try to see the good in people.

you’ll put your feelings aside in order to spare someone else - you saw it in the beginning, pushing down your qualms about lying to the teacher to further appease a boy you found cute.

and when you put it like that, it sounds really fucking stupid. it sounds like, maybe, you’re just-

“didn’t i tell you you’re too pretty to cry over stupid things?”

your first instinct is to turn around when you hear his voice, his tall, dark figure looming behind you. 

you should probably smile shyly or say that you’re not crying but you can only stay silent, turning back around to avoid his intense gaze and your own humiliation. 

the same way he should probably go inside and carry on with his night the way he usually would. drinking and flirting and dancing before he probably brought someone home or into the bathroom. 

when he moves behind you, that’s what you think he’s about to do. 

but then he’s walking around your sitting frame and bending down to you, looking up at you from his crouched position. his hand reaches out to touch your face, forcing it up so you can only stare at him with teary eyes and flushed cheeks.

there’s a frown on his face as he runs his thumb across your cold cheek, his gentle touch a shocking contrast to his harsher appearance. 

“what happened?”

what happened? you think, not used to feeling so snarky and hurt. what happened was that he got your hopes up, was nice to you and invited you and kept making you feel special, just for them to come crashing down.

but then the more you think about it, the silence between you getting longer and longer, the guiltier you feel - because your feelings aren’t his fault.

you taking his looks and kindness and lingering touches for something deeper was a mistake. you know the kind of boy he is and have still been foolish enough to fall for him.

“nothing,” you grumble, a wet, humorless laugh leaving you as you shake your head. “i’m just being silly.”

but you can’t look up from your feet, your eyes roaming the cracks in the concrete, and that’s how he knows you’re lying; that, and because he knows he was being a fucking dick. 

but seeing you in this environment was weird for him. seeing people look at you and look at him, specifically soobin who got it out of him that he might like you, was unfamiliar for him.

the same way this was unfamiliar for you - which is why he wants you to talk to him. 

“what happened, y/n?” he asks, voice a tad bit harsher and deeper as he cranes his neck down. he hears your harsh, nervous intake of breath and resists the urge to reach out and touch you. 

you need to answer him before he can touch you. 

but you never do. not after ten seconds and not after a minute, prompting him to let out a sigh and pop his neck to the side. your face pulls into a grimace at the crack that sounds through the air. 

his cold hand touching your face causes you to jump, your eyes meeting and a lump forming in your throat; his eyes fool you too much and that’s exactly the problem here.

“talk to me, angel, c’mon.”

your eyes start to burn when a harsh wind passes, tears stinging your eyes and coldness rushing over your face. why does he have to keep calling you that? why does his voice have to sound so sincere and why does he have to look at you the way he is right now?

like he cares so much and hopes those tears aren’t because you’re sad.

“there’s nothing to talk about, yeonjun,” you blurt out, anger and humiliation seep into your tone before you can stop it. you let out a sigh as you try to get it together, taking a few calming breaths before shaking your head. 

“just go back inside, okay? i’m going home. t-thank you for inviting me but i-”

“i don’t want you to go.”

he blurts the words so loud and fast, it even sounds a little awkward to your ears. but he sounds and looks almost desperate, your eyebrows pulling together and heart sinking as you take a deep breath.

because you know you can’t stop the next words from tumbling out of your mouth.

“well, it doesn’t seem like you want me here.”

your words are soft and quiet but they still physically pain his chest, his eyes roaming your face as he brings them to your cold cheeks. he wipes under your eye when wetness forms, the cold biting wind rushing around you both. 

“i want you,” he reassures quietly, his voice just as low and gravely as he speaks hushly to you; he thinks it’s the most honest and true thing he’s ever said to someone. “i want you more than you know.”

“then why are you acting like that?” you question sweetly, the pout on your lips nearly making him groan and cover them with his. “you were being... mean. i felt like... you didn’t want me here at all. or didn’t want people to know you invited me.”

your words break his heart but he also knows they’re true, his fingers caressing your face gently. he notices then how freezing and red it is, looking you over and rising from his feet.

you look disappointed that he’s gonna leave, your face falling and eyebrows furrowing before he reaches his hand down to you. 

“let’s talk in my car,” he clarifies, nodding his head toward his vehicle. “it’s freezing out here.”

you bite down on your lip, contemplating it for a few seconds before another harsh gust of wind passes. you let out a sigh as you take his hand, grateful to enter his car the moment you sit down. 

he turns it on and the engine roars to life, his fingers reaching out to turn on your heated seat. 

the next few moments only consist of the car’s engine warming up as you wait for the heat to kick on, you and yeonjun stealing glances back and forth at each other; you both miss the others gaze by a few seconds and if anyone were to be watching, it’d be obvious you both were nervous right now. 

dancing along the line you’re both nervous to cross for entirely different reasons - you because you somehow don’t think he reciprocates those feelings and him because he knows you deserve more. 

but in this moment, he decides he has to be selfish. watching you with a flush in your cheeks and your lip drawn into your mouth.

“i like you, y/n. that’s why i wanted you here,” his voice says, breaking the silence in a way that almost seems more terrifying. “but that’s also why i didn’t... want people knowing.”

your eyebrows pull together and immediately your mind goes to him being embarrassed. embarrassed that you’re younger and quiet and that no one really knows who the hell you are.

he’s infamous and cool and a senior, obviously he should be with someone similiar. like a popular girl in his grade or a college girl or maybe even a the girl who stood him up.

“not because of you, angel, but because of...”

“you?” you interrupt, a snark in your tone neither of you except; but you’ve heard this line one too many times, not expecting to ever ever hear it real life, let alone toward you. 

“it’s not you, it’s me?” you ask, a gentle, faux smile on your face as you shake your head at him. “is that what you’re about to say?”

he clenches his jaw so he doesn’t smirk, resisting the urge to laugh as he looks you over carefully. it’s obvious your smile’s fake because it doesn’t meet your eyes, the teary glint in them every bit sad as they are frustrated. 

but of course, you’re too sweet to treat him as he deserves. 

his hand reaches out to grab your chin, his thumb and pointer finger on either side as he forces your gaze to his. his smirk comes through when he hears your sharp intake of breath, tongue peeking out to lick at his lips. 

“if you let me talk, angel, you’d know what i was about to say,” he hums quietly, his breath fanning into your face at his closeness. it smells of mint and beer, it should probably be gross but surprisingly isn’t.

his words successfully stir you into silence, partially from fear and partially because the look in his eye has caused you to grow warm all over; and once he sees that, he begins to speak again.

“i didn’t want people knowing because i didn’t want anyone fucking with you, y/n. because if they did, i’d have to ruin them and then everyone would see it.”

“see what?” you ask quietly, the air between you thick and buzzing as you hold his gaze. 

hold it so adamantly and intensely, you’re barely able to register him leaning closer. inch by inch by inch, until his lips are pressed against yours and you’re kissing choi yeonjun in the front seat of his car. 

you’re stiff and awkward and don’t really know what to do but it’s fine because he laces his fingers in your hair and pulls you closer. parts your lips with his tongue which causes you to kiss him back with a slow, unsure pace.

but it only causes him to smile, retracting his tongue and keeping it sweet before he pulls back and rests his head on your forehead. 

“why i decided to spend my free period during senior year getting fucking tutored, angel,” he chuckles lowly, his hand running through your hair gently. 

the soft look in his eye causes you to swallow nervously, words caught in your throat as you stare at him wide-eyed.

“i... i thought you... you said it was...” you let out a shaky breath as you try to get your thoughts together, completely unable to remember your conversation from weeks ago. when he cryptically asked you your thoughts about just why he agreed to stop lying to the teacher and do the sessions; 

so instead, your cheeks warm and you’re hit with the reminder that you just had your first kiss with him. and that you were probably absolutely terrible at it. 

“that was my first kiss. i... i’m sorry if it was bad.”

a small smile crosses yeonjun’s face as he shakes his head at you, thumb dragging down your cheek gently to feel the warm, smooth skin of your cheek. 

“it was perfect, angel, you’re perfect.” he mumbles, your eyes widening and heart stuttering as a ball forms in your throat. “so perfect that i thought you stood me up and weren’t coming. so let’s go on date. a real date, this time.”

in the beginning of the school year, you would’ve never imagined your study sessions with yeonjun would be turning into dinner dates; but as you sit in your room and get ready, your heart pounding and palms sweaty, that’s exactly what’s happened. 

it’s the fourth date you guys are going on and you can officially say that you really, really have feelings for yeonjun. you’re still shy and nervous around him but it’s only because he’s more comfortable with you too.

he takes your hand with ease and laces your fingers together that he was meant to do that.

he’ll shamelessly peck a kiss to your lips and deepen it at any given time, your cheeks burning and embarrassed voice telling him to stop when he did it in the middle of the bowling alley last week. 

he’ll watch you and smile at you and just touch you with the softest of intentions, you almost can’t believe this is the bad boy everyone claims is so mean and heartless. 

you say almost because you still don’t do it in school. it’s still a somewhat... secret fondness you have for one another. he’ll play with your fingers under the table during sessions and wink at you in the hallway but that’s about it. 

he’d probably never kiss you in the hallway or cafeteria but you also wouldn’t want that. it would draw way too much attention and probably leave your face with a permanent, embarrassing flush. 

“are you going out?” you hear your mom ask, her head peeking in before a smile brightens her face. “aw, you look beautiful, y/n. yeonjun must be coming soon.”

the topic of dating had been undeniably embarrassing with your parents, mostly because they couldn’t believe you were showing an interest. but they welcomed yeonjun with open arms, insisting to meet him at the front door to ensure he was a nice boy.

and oh had he really showed you just how charming he could be. 

“mom,” you whine in embarrassment, her laugh echoing in your room as he throws her arms up defensively. 

“you guys be careful. it’s supposed to rain soon.”

you nod your head as you finish getting ready, smoothing over your hair once more before your phone vibrates against your desk. he texted you that he was on his way with a smiley face and heart, sending one back before looking at yourself in the mirror. 

you don’t know what the hell he sees you or why he likes you but you know if you dwell on it, you’ll talk yourself out of everything. convince yourself that this is all a joke and he’s gonna turn around and say he pities you. 

even though, when you brought this up to him, he was quick to calm those worries. 

“c-can i ask you something, yeonjun?”

you were walking home from the movies with your hands intertwined.

the cold, harsh winter had blossomed into spring, the night air growing less frigid; there was a still a bit of a chill but it was nothing a jacket and yeonjun’s warm body couldn’t fix.

“of course, angel,” he mumbles lowly, a small smile on his face as you stop in your tracks. he’s quick to follow, eyebrow raising and body turning so he can look down at you. 

he cocks his head to the side when you don’t speak for a few seconds, his lips falling into a pout as his hand tightens in yours.

“you okay?” he asks quietly, thumb tracing small circles into your skin. 

you lick over your lips nervously, feeling silly for the need to ask this question but it’s one you can’t help. it wracks your mind over and over again and it feels like you’re about to-

“why do you like me?” you blurt out, unaware you even said the words until you notice yeonjun’s face morph into one of surprise. 

his mouth opens and closes for a moment, brows pulled together as he tries to make sense of your words.

“i mean, what’s not to like?” he asks softly, taking you by the hips and pulling you closer to him. 

you’re in the middle of the sidewalk but there’s no one around, the sky dark and streets desolate as you both meet each others gazes - yours full of doubt and his full of confusion. 

“i... i don’t know,” you mumble sheepishly, looking down at your intertwined hands. “i just... it doesn’t really make sense.”

“why? because i’m older? because you’re smart and i’m not?” he teases, your panicked eyes immediately meeting his.

“no! more like the exact opposite,” you clarify as you shake your head. “because you’re popular and attractive and charming and i’m just.... not.”

his eyes roam your face and his heart sinks when he sees the doubt and nerves continue to grow. how you really feel this way about yourself and are pondering the idea that someone like him would want someone like you, when really, it should be the opposite. 

“y/n, i’m lucky that you’re settling for me,” the pink-haired boy laughs out, squeezing your hips reassuringly. “you’re good and sweet and so fucking beautiful. i wanted you the second i saw you, you know, but knew i shouldn’t.”

your eyes widen at his words, shock behind them that has a laugh bubbling from his chest. 

“in lunch. i noticed you the first day and thought you were an angel,” he says, the nickname he always calls you particularly getting the butterflies going tonight. 

“i could tell that you were good. you just have this.. aura, y/n, and i knew that i would taint it. i knew you deserved someone way better. because i’m not good like you.”

"yes you are,” you respond immediately, a frown appearing on your face as you shake your head. “you pretend not to be, but you are, yeonjun. i can see it.”

“you can see it because i wanna be good around you, baby. i wanna be someone good for you.”

tears prick your eyes as a lump forms in your throat, overwhelmed and unsure of how to respond to that. he smiles softly as he takes in your face, leaning forward to press his lips against your forehead. 

he inhales your sweet, vanilla smell while you take in his cologne and faint scent of cigarettes, swallowing down the lump and praying you don’t burst into tears on the spot. 

“don’t doubt yourself, angel,” yeonjun mumbles against your head, puling you closer until your flush against his warm, broad body. “i’m the one who got lucky here.” 

even though it meant wasting away in the fucking library. 

“the library isn’t that bad, yeonjun,” you whine ten minutes later in his car, heat blasting and music low as he drives to the restaurant. one hand’s on the steering wheel while the other’s laced with yours, your body turned in his black leather seat to look over and chastise him. 

he confessed to you that your sessions were the first time he’d ever stepped foot in that library; he hadn’t even been positive that school had a library until he walked through the door that day. 

“it smells like dust and the librarian’s a bitch.”

“she is not!” you squeal, smacking his arm lightly as you throw him a chastising look. “she’s just a little... misunderstood. people don’t respect her space.”

even you can admit sometimes she does go a little overboard; you saw her once lecture a younger student for a half hour because they mistakenly put a book on the wrong shelf. 

“you’re too nice, baby. maybe even a little biased, since you’re the only one she seems to tolerate.”

“probably because i’m there every day,” you tease lightly, your eyes widening playfully before a loud crack of thunder causes you to jump in your seat.

your mom hadn’t been kidding when she said there was gonna be a storm tonight. you’d ran to yeonjun’s car shielding the top of your head, rain pelting down and wind howling as your mom’s “be careful!” got drowned out.

and right now, it only seemed to be getting worse. 

“you scared of thunder?” 

you hear the smirk in yeonjun’s voice and resist the urge to stick your tongue out, not about to admit that, yes, you’re nearly an adult but still terrified of rain and thunder. 

“no, of-of course not,” you grumble, snatching your hand away from his. “it just surprised me.”

yeonjun looks over at you and sees the nervousness all your face, not commenting as he silently snatches your hand back. he intertwines your fingers as he raises your hand to his mouth, pressing his lips against it while he drives through the rain.

it’s getting considerably heavier by every second, his foot pressing off the gas every time he drives past a puddle. 

“i used to be scared of the rain, you know.” 

you look over at him and see him looking peacefully at the road, pink strands of hair hanging in his face. 

“oh, yeah? when you were like five?”

“twelve,” he corrects with a smile, doing his best to distract you from the chaos outside. “i used to wake up crying, sometimes. i know that’s hard to believe now. because i’m so cool and what not.”

“oh please,” you giggle out, the sweet sound filling the car also distracting him from the pounding of rain and crackling of thunder; he’s outgrown his fear of storms but even he can admit this one is a little bit scary right now. 

“what, you don’t think? i’ll have you know-”

the skidding of his tires mixed with your frightened screams is the next thing he hears, a strangled “yeonjun!” in the background as he attempts to take control of his car.

there’s the boom of thunder and lightning and loud blares of horns before everything goes still, his body acting on auto pilot as he safely pulls off on the side of the highway.

his first concern isn’t damage to his car or the heightening storm outside - it’s you in his passenger seat, eyes closed tight and tears on your face. 

“are you okay?” yeonjun’s voice frantically asks, barely able to feel the sensation of his his warm hands on your face. your heart’s pounding and your hands are shaking and for a moment, you thought you were about to die. 

your eyes pop open to meet his and the concern in them only makes your eyes water more, bottom lip trembling as you nod your head. 

but even though you’re nodding he sees you’re not. he sees you trying to catch your breath and your eyes looking back and forth nervously outside.

“hey, hey, angel. it’s okay. i’m here,” he hums lowly, his thumbs running over your face soothingly. “i’m here and you’re okay.”

you attempt to catch and slow your breaths as your eyes never leave his, his only leaving you to quickly assess you for injuries.

“i know that was scary. i’m sorry. i should’ve been more careful.”

“it wasn’t your fault,” you squeak out, swallowing the knot in your throat as you shake your head. your eyes roam his and you pout when there’s guilt and sorrow in his eyes, your own hand snaking down to hold his hand. 

“are you okay?”

his eyes soften as he cups your face and brings you to closer to him, a quiet “yes, baby,” leaving his mouth before he places his lips on your forehead.

you breathe in his scent and he breathes in yours, not allowing himself to pull away until he feels you relax under him.

“i’m gonna drive us to my house, okay?” he says, his eyes back on you looking cautious. “we can order food. i just don’t want us driving in this if it’s gonna get worse.”

you nod your head before reaching down to grasp one of his hands tightly, his small smile meeting you before he carefully pulls back onto the highway. 

the storm gets substantially worse as he makes his way to his house, hand grasping yours tightly as he drives slow and steady. 

he’s flooded with relief when he finally pulls in his driveway, running around the passenger side door to help you out. his hand doesn’t leave the small of your back until you’re in his room, a big space with white walls and black furniture that doesn’t surprise you in the slightest.

contrary to most teenage boy’s rooms, his smells really good. like a mix of his cologne, laundry detergent and a distinct smell you’ve just deemed as his natural scent.

it’s comforting and makes you feel at ease, licking over your lips nervously as you realize this is the first time you’ve been in a boy’s room.

“you want anything to drink?”

“i...i’m good,” you say, sitting on his bed as you look around.

there’s no decor on the walls except for a large flat screen tv across from his bed and above his dresser, a pile of clothes off to the side. 

“sorry, i didn’t expect to have anyone over so it’s a little messy.”

you look over at him sitting beside you, a sheepish smile on his face. you think it’s the first time he’s ever sounded somewhat... nervous and out of his comfort zone. 

maybe because he knows you’ve never been in this situation before. 

“it’s okay, i like your room,” you smile, spreading your fingers out across his soft, dark comforter. “it’s very fitting.”

“oh yeah?” he smirks, inching closer to you and making your heart speed up. “and why’s that?”

there’s that dark playfulness you’re so used to seeing swarming behind his eyes, just as teasing as it is intense that makes you hold back a squeak. he quirks his eyebrow as he moves closer, pink tongue peeking out to roll over his lips.

you can’t help when your eyes fall to them, missing the feel of them on yours. 

you two haven’t gone past making out, a clash of tongues and teeth that have you quietly moaning into his mouth. but when your body acts on its own accord, pushing yourself closer to him or grasping at the bottom of his shirt, he always stops you.

“what are you doin’ baby?”

you were in his car after a tutoring session, the parking lot of the school completely deserted. your cheeks flush and you immediately draw your hands back, lowering your head slightly as embarrassment took over. 

“i...i thought that was...don’t you wanna...”

because clothes come off, that’s how it starts - you know that much.

and you can feel how much he wants to go further, the hardness under you that scared you at first now the thing begging you to go further.

you feel wanted and desired and even though you’re scared, you want to go further.

“we don’t have to do anything, baby. this is fine,” he says softly, his hand reaching up to cup your cheek. 

“but i want to,” you mumble, not even sure if he can hear your words because of how quiet you are. 

you know he must though because he draws his fingers under your chin to lift your face, eyes heavy of fondness and arousal making your stomach flutter more. 

your first instinct is to assume he doesn’t want you - why else would he stop you? but you can see in his eyes that he does...right? because it really does look like that.

what other reason would he have to stop you though? maybe he just doesn’t-

“whatever you’re thinking is probably wrong,” yeonjun mutters, tightening his hold on you and bringing you closer to him. “i don’t wanna go further with you while we’re in the car, angel. you deserve more than that.”

“hm?” you hear him hum, ripping you from your memories. 

you look from his lips to his eyes watching you with lust, the beginnings of your nonsense words cut off when he kisses you. 

your heart flutters and stomach swoops immediately, kissing back with an embarrassing amount of fervor. he smirks against your lips as he pulls you on his lap, your arms circling around his shoulders.

his tongue traces your bottom lip before you feel it in your mouth, daringly meeting his back in a way you’d never done before. it causes him to bring his hands to your hips, squeezing and massaging them with his large hands. 

“look at you,” he mutters almost condescendingly, falling back onto his bed and causing you to squeal. you’re holding yourself above him and his eyebrow is quirked, red lips puffy and pink hair messy causing your heart to flutter mercilessly.

“if i didn’t know any better, baby, i’d think you’re real eager tonight.”

you bite down on your lip as you adjust yourself on him, your hips straddling his and brushing over him. your building heat is right under him and it takes everything in you not to moan at just the thought, his hands strong and firm.

and just as you’re about to answer, tell him that, yes, even though you’re not familiar with.... any of this, you’re eager and ready, your stomach growls and ruins the moment.

it causes a smile to light up his face, a deep chuckle leaving him before he flips you over. he’s hovering above you now, no parts of your bodies touching except for his hand a few inches away from your head. 

“or you’re hunger, my mistake, angel,” he says with a smirk, pressing a peck to your nose sweetly. “what do you want?”

you spend the next hour laying in his bed waiting for the pizza, the storm just as wild outside as it was when you were in the car. you bit down on a squeal threatening to leave your mouth every time there was a terrifying boom, your body shimming closer to yeonjun’s.

he smiled against your head and welcomed your body closer, bringing your head to his chest.

“you’re cute,” you hear him mumble, the swooping in your stomach causing you to feel warm.

you look up at him and smile shyly, tucking your head closer into his chest. you have to hide your growing smile when you feel his lips brush your head, deep content hums leaving his chest.

the doorbell ringing rips you two apart, his mumbled “i’ll be right back,’ causing you to sit up. you brush your fingers through your hair as you sit up, looking around his dark room and feeling something brewing in your stomach.

you feel every bit as nervous as you do excited and eager in his room with him right now. 

it’s still scary because you’re new to this. because you’ve never done anything like this before and you know you don’t know what you’re doing. 

but a part of you wants to kiss him on his bed. go further than he’s allowed you to because if he only didn’t want to be with you in the car, this should solve that problem, right?

you’ve never felt as desired and warm as you have with him these past months. no one’s ever looked at you the way he does or have made you feel the way he does. 

you’re usually too scared or uneasy to talk to people or form a connection; but from the moment you met him, you were able to do that. a part of you just felt inclined to help him, be a person that he knows would be there for him even if it meant in the form of helping him study or motivate him.

you never would’ve expected for him to reciprocate your feelings. nor would you have expected to be in this current situation, want and need bubbling in your stomach at the thought of yeonjun doing-

“pizza’s here,” yeonjun says, popping his head through the door holding a box of pizza. 

you smile upon seeing it, your stomach growling at the smell; if he hears it, he doesn’t say anything. just walks over and places the box on his bed, offering you a slice that you take immediately.

“thank you,” you squeak, bringing the food to your mouth.

he watches you for a few seconds, suddenly all too aware of him looking at you. you raise an eyebrow as you chew, a shy look coming over your face that causes him to smile. 

“what?”

“nothing,” he says, shaking his head as he takes out his own slice. “my mom called me and said they can’t come home tonight because of the storm.”

you take the time to chew your food as you take in his words, the fluttering in your stomach a mix of nerves and excitement. 

“oh.”

“yeah...” he hums, his eyes roaming your face; he doesn’t want his next suggestion to make you uncomfortable but he also thinks it would be best. for both of you. 

“and i don’t know if i should drive you home, angel. it’s supposed to get really bad. do you... wanna stay over?”

there’s a lump in your throat for all the reasons there shouldn’t be. 

not because this is your first time sleeping over a boy’s house or the fact that his parents aren’t home. or because you’re gonna have to call your mom and say you’re sleeping over a friend’s house.

or even because you don’t know what to expect tonight.

it’s only there because you know, in a new form of acting on your deeper desires and not suppressing yourself to just being some innocent girl, you wanna get railed.

“i... i guess i can do that,” you say, some nervousness still behind your voice because when it comes down to it, you’re unfamiliar with this situation. 

“well yeah, but do you want to, baby?” he asks with a small smirk, his hand reaching up to toy with your hair. 

his long fingers run through the strands before tucking them behind your ear, his hand slinking down to rest on your neck.

“if you don’t feel comfortable, i’ll take you home later,” he says, thumb running across your skin slowly. breath catches in your throat when he leans closer to you, his lingering scent and broadness causing you to bite down on your lip.

“i just thought it’d be nice to lay with you tonight. or wake up with you.”

“or let us go further since we’re not in the car.” 

you don’t know who’s more shocked by your words but you know you’re definitely more embarrassed, a rampant blush crossing your cheeks as you attempt to hide in his shoulder.

he’s quick to pull you away with a small “tsk,” the smirk on his lips quickly widening despite the soft look in his eyes. 

you bite back the noise threatening to leave your mouth when he wraps his hand around you hair, the slightest of stings ripping through your scalp when he pulls you forward.

“go further?” he asks lowly, his eyes peering down at you only making you feel more warm and flustered. 

words are caught in your mouth and you can’t find it in you to say anything. not only because you’re too embarrassed but you don’t even know what to say.

you know you want more than kissing and that there’s always a building pressure between your legs when he pulls you on his lap. 

you know on more than one occasion, you’ve wanted his hands that’d rest on your hips to go just a little further down. slip in the waistband of your pants and meet the wetness and heat through your underwear.

you’ve wanted to see his pink hair between your legs as you experience getting eaten out of the first time, holding back moans in the crease of your elbow as his tongue explores every inch of you. 

you know you want to look up at him with tears in your eyes and a heaving chest, ask if you can please suck him off because you’ve also never done that before. 

he can see the arousal and lust clouding your eyes the more the silence elapses, his cock quickly hardening as he takes in the sight of you on his bed ready for him to take you. 

it’s just a matter of how and when he’s gonna. how and when you tell him like the good girl he knows you are. 

“how much further are you thinking, angel?” his deep voice finally asks, successfully breaking the silence and building the thick tension. 

you let out a breathy exhale when he pushes you on your back, the knot in your stomach tightening as he looks down at your body. 

“what do you want me to do, huh?” he asks, the smirk and feeling in his chest growing when he sees you start to breathe heavily on his bed. your legs are nearly shaking from the build up in pressure, your tongue licking over your dry lips. 

“i... yeonjun...”

he bites back the groan threatening to leave his mouth at you moaning his name, holding himself above your body as he hand spays out against your stomach. 

“why are you moaning my name baby? i haven’t even done anything.”

“but... but i want you to. so bad.”

your voice is whiny and pathetic but it’s all it takes for him to snap, his hand moving from your stomach to between your legs. 

he can feel the heat and pulse of your pussy and has to suppress his own groan again, completely getting off on the feeling that you, the innocent little tutor he’s been wanting to ruin since he saw you last year, is laid out on his bed and dripping just for him. 

“please, yeonjun,” you whine again, completely out of your mind with lust when you feel his hand on you. 

he bites down on his lip before he starts gently running his hand over you, barely putting any pressure on you. he’s just relishing in the how only that makes you spread your legs immediately, hips bucking up closer to his hand. 

he pulls his hand away and pins your hips to the bed, his face hovering above yours before you can even whine again. 

“be patient, angel. or this isn’t gonna work,” he growls lowly, his thumbs running over your pants gently. 

“i- i���m sorry,” you gasp out, tears pricking your eyes because this feeling is so new and foreign and overwhelming. “i just... i’m so...”

“you’re so what?”

“i want you,” you say immediately, thinking back to your conversation with him outside of soobin’s house. when the words you’re telling him now are the same ones he told you. “i want you more than you know.”

a scoff leaves his mouth when you say that, remembering those words leaving his own mouth that night.

but the difference here is, he thinks, is that you really didn’t know that.

you didn’t know how just sitting there and smiling at him and talking to him so sweetly was making him want you. your soft smiles and vanilla scent and the wide-eyed look you’d always innocently give him.

but he’s aware of how much you want him, in this moment. he can feel it, smell it, see it. he knows just how much you want him because he wants you the same way. 

your pants and underwear are off in one shot, a gasp leaving your mouth when you realize you’re completely bare in front of him. 

he’s quick to look at your face to see if you’re okay, that teary wide-eyed look and teeth sinking in your lip greeting him; another whiney and mumbled “touch me,” leaves your mouth before he can ask.

a smile lights up his face that makes your heart jump even through this all, a teasing look in his eye even through the arousal and painful hardness in his pants.

“say please, angel.”

“please touch me, yeonjun. please.”

his fingers are on your clit right after the words leave you, your mouth hanging open and legs spreading when you’re immediately filed with a sense of some relief. 

“you’re so wet for me, angel. how long have you wanted this, huh?”

you babble out something you can’t even hear through your pounding ears but it must be something good and polite enough because you feel a finger enter you a few seconds later.

he hisses at the tightness around his finger and has to remember to be gentle with you, fingering you slowly and sweetly as he toys at your clit. 

“you’re doing so good, baby. so good for me.”

you cry out a moan that has his fingers moving quicker, curling them just right before you scream out his name; you’ve never ever felt anything like this before.

“yeonjun, oh, my god.”

“i know, baby, it’s okay,” he says, allowing his fingers to work over you and in you for a few seconds before he forces himself to remove them. your head shoots up and the sight almost makes him smile, a frustrated look in your teary eyes that has him cocking his head.

“why did you-”

the fingers just inside you are below your chin, the slickness of his fingers on your skin making you widen your eyes. is that... is he about to make you...

you hold back another moan when you watch him raise his fingers to his own mouth, his eyes rolling back when he tastes you. you don’t know if you’re a little grossed out or even more turned on but you think it must be the latter if the way your legs start to shake again and your lower stomach tightens. 

“you taste so fucking sweet, angel. can i eat your pussy?”

he could tell how scared you were when you first got here, not seeing a hint of that fear now but still needing to check before he pulls you on his face and has his way with you.

“y-yes, please, yeonjun, oh my-”

you can’t even get the words out before his hands are taking off your shirt, removing the straps of your bra and pushing them down until your boobs pop out. 

perky nipples spring into the air and he can’t stop the groan that leaves him, circling his tongue around each of them before he tells you to unhook it. your eyes meet his for just a few seconds before you reach out to take it off, quickly throwing it on the floor before you, without thinking, cover yourself. 

his eyes flash and he immediately snaps out of his trance, placing his hands on your arms but not attempting to move them. 

“what are you doing, angel?”

and it’s at this moment, something as silly as him seeing your chest completely naked, that you’re feeling insecure. 

you know he’s been with girls before this, college girls who definitely have bigger boobs than you and know what they’re doing. girls who are prettier and sexier and don’t blush or whine at the slightest hint of his touch of them. 

“i... i know you’ve been with prettier girls before. an-and i don’t think they’re that nice.”

“angel, i don’t know if i’ve gotten this across enough but you’re the most beautiful girl i’ve ever met,” he says, the sweetest words to ever leave his mouth not even making him blink.

because he needs you to know in this moment that you are. he can’t stand the insecure, fearful look in your eye that he’s not gonna find you desirable because you’re comparing yourself to other people. 

“that’s a lie,” you weakly mumble out, tears stinging your eyes because this is so stupid. now you’re ruining the moment and he’s not gonna wanna do this with you. you’re proving just how inexperienced and unfamiliar you are with-

“i don’t lie.”

your eyebrow raises and he can’t help but smirk, the realization that your whole relationship started off lying to your teacher making him let out a deep chuckle. 

“i mean i don’t lie to you, angel, i would never lie to you,” he says, reaching down to press a long kiss on your lips. it’s the most intimate kiss you’ve ever had with him, mouths parting on one another like you’re trying to get all your worries and reassurances out on one another.

him that you’re just as desirable as he knows you are and you that you really don’t know what you’re doing but you wanna do this with him. 

“you’re beautiful, baby, and if anyone’s not worthy of the other, it’s me.”

his words make your eyebrows pull together, the look in his eye one you’ve never seen before. probably the most vulnerable and honest you’ve seen him look at you. 

“but i’m gonna do my best to be, angel, so please... don’t think that,” he says, pulling your arms away from your chest. 

he feels relief flood through him when you allow him to do say, his head dipping again to place small pecks on your chest before taking another nipple in his mouth. 

he moans around you at the same time you do, throwing your head back against his pillow. your fingers lace through the back of his pink hair and you feel your pussy clenching around nothing, moaning out his name when his tongue carefully and slowly licks around the other neglected one. 

“you also have the sweetest pussy i’ve ever tasted,” he mumbles around your nipple, swirling his tongue around it one more time before grabbing your hips and throwing himself on his back. 

“so sit on my face, angel. now.”

you have no time to feel hesitant or insecure because, one, he pulls you up before you can do anything else and two, you’re far too eager to feel this for the first time. 

his tongue latching onto your clit causes you to moan out his name, trying your best to not buck your hips against his face. but his tongue feels like it’s everywhere, flicking at it your clit and up inside you and quickly making your legs shake around him. 

your hazy eyes look down and you see his own looking up at you, a hot arousal in them as you cover the rest of his face with your body. pink strands stick to his forehead and you bite down on your lip so you don’t scream, your eyes rolling back when he eats you out like a man starved.

he’s moaning against you and pulling you closer to his face, your hips bucking into his mouth as you whine out his name over and over. 

you’re so out of it and dazed with arousal and need that you don’t even think twice when an idea pops into your head. 

you buck your hips a tad harder than usual that he disconnects his mouth from you, about to ask if he hurt you somehow before you flip over on his face. your body leans over his stomach until your mouth is by the tight groin of his sweatpants, clumsily slipping down his boxers until his cock springs free.

it’s hard and red and looks completely neglected, screaming to be relieved by you.

so even though you have no idea what you’re doing, only guided by works of fiction and things you hear in the hallway, you wrap your mouth around the head of his cock.

you hear him growl at your name but only continue to suck him off, your tongue circling around him as your mouth moves up and down. you smile when he moans against your pussy just so moan around his a few seconds later, like he knew you were smiling against him at hearing that noise leave him.

he didn’t think he could get any harder than he already was but you continue to impress him and prove him wrong, his mouth working quicker on you to aid in his growing arousal. 

a loud moan of your name leaves his mouth when you deep throat him, a growled “fuck,” against your wetness that makes you whine against him. 

“i wanna fuck your mouth so badly,” he growls against you, wrapping his tongue around your clit just as you let out a strangled “please.” but he only shakes his head and continues his vigorous assault, sticking two fingers inside you that causes your scream to be muffled around his cock.

“you’re gonna come first, angel. i want you to come on my fucking face.”

and even though he already seemed to know it from the moment he met you, he sees that what he wants from you, he’s always gonna get. 

your lower stomach tightens before a feeling of euphoria consumes you, your legs shaking and hips bucking before an orgasm rips right through you. your head is leant against his head as you try to catch your breath, whining slightly when he pulls you off of him.

he lays you down gently on the bed before placing a kiss to your cheek. 

“you did so good, angel. how do you feel?”

“mmm.. that was the best thing i’ve ever felt.”

a deep laugh leaves him at your sleepy, dazed look, taking his shirt off so he can dab at your wet legs. you wince a little at the sensitivity and he mumbles an apology, laying on his back and opening his arms to you.

“lay with me, baby.”

a small smile crosses your face as you fall into his bare chest, sighing contently with your head resting over his chest. you can hear his heartbeat against your ear and feel his lips against your head, his fingers running over your arm slowly.

you’ve never been more comfortable and at ease than you are in this moment. even with the storm raging outside and the unknown parts of your relationship still coming, you feel happy. 

happy and safe and so stupidly content.  

“angel?”

you look up at him when you hear his voice break the silence, your chin against his chest as you meet his gaze. 

he smiles upon seeing you, his hand coming up to pat down your messy hair. 

“i like you. a lot.”

you bite down on your lip to hide your growing smile, daringly taking the first move to press a sweet peck on his lips.

“i like you, too. a lot, a lot,” you giggle out, the pink on your cheeks making his heart squeeze in his chest. “but i think you already knew that.”

“i was hoping,” he hums lowly, bringing you back into his chest. you smile against him as you inhale his scent, moving your body closer to him until you feel your leg hit a hard, fleshy piece of skin. 

your eyes widen and pulse quickens when you see he’s still hard and aching, the content look on his face completely disregarding it. 

“yeonjun...” you mumble, shamelessly staring at his dick a few inches from your leg. 

he peeks an eye open and sees you staring down at it, a sheepish smile crossing his face; he looks a tad embarrassed and you shouldn’t find it as endearing as you do. 

“sorry. it’ll go down eventually.”

eventually being when he gets up to go to the bathroom and jerks himself off. because there’s no way in hell he’s gonna go flaccid with you all naked and cuddled against him.

“you mean you’re not gonna fuck me?”

his eyes widen and cock twitches when those words leave your mouth, his hand falling to your jaw so you can look at him. his eyes roam your face when he sees the heavy desire building in your wide-eyed gaze, the perfect contrast of sweet and lustful that has him holding back a groan. 

“where did you learn to talk like this?” he hums lowly in your ear. 

you smirk against him before you bring your hand up to his mouth, his eyes searching yours. but you’re only staring back just as intensely, rubbing yourself against his leaking cock laying between you. 

“spit on it, please.”

he can’t even stop his groan from leaving him this time, painfully hard and ready to bust. you learned so fast what he likes and that’s when you’re both polite and eager.

“baby girl,” he moans, bringing his face down to place a messy, dominating kiss on yours. he pulls your mouths apart after allowing his tongue to explore your mouth, a string of spit connecting your lips. 

his eyes fall to your mouth before he’s tipping your head back, your hand clutching onto his shoulder and tightening when, suddenly, he spits in your mouth. 

your eyes widen but he smirks before you can say anything, wordlessly bringing your hand to his mouth and spitting on it as you so requested. you let out a shaky sigh, eyeing him warily before he gives you a nod.

it’s only then that you wrap your hand around his cock, watching as his eyes flutter shut and he leans his head back. 

“there u go, angel,” he hums lowly, your hand twisting over the tip before exploring down. 

he can feel your hesitance and unsureness but it only makes it that much more enjoyable for him, knowing this is the first time you’ve done this - although he does wonder how you knew to spit on it first. 

his words spur you on and you wet your hand again, twisting and turning on every ridge of his cock. his moans of your name cause wetness to gather between your legs, your eyes meeting his to see them right on you.

“please fuck me, yeonjun.”

you didn’t have to ask him twice before he pushed you on your back. he fumbled to take his sweatpants off fully, discarding them on the floor before pulling you toward the end of bed.

you look down at him with furrowed eyebrows before a loud gasp leaves you, his mouth back on your pussy before he slides two fingers in. he preps you again until you’re coming around him, his mouth hot around you while his fingers are curled and relentless.

“p-please, yeonjun. i wanna- feel you.”

“and you will, angel, i promise,” he says, pressing one last kiss to your swollen, wet clit before going up to your face. “you’ve never done this before, right?”

he knows it and you know it but he still needs to ask. needs to know he’s gonna be the first person to take you and ruin you. 

“no,” you immediately respond, shaking your head as tears well up in your eyes. 

he responds by smiling, placing one last long kiss on your mouth before cupping your face gently.

“it might hurt, okay? i’ll go as slow as you need.”

you nod your head as you relax on your back, looking down to see him positioning himself between your legs. he swirls the tip of his dick around your wet clit and opening, watching as your dripping hole tries to suck him in.

“holy fuck,” he growls out, “you’re so wet, baby. it’s gonna feel so fucking good.”

you whine unintelligible words but he knows to just soothe you. bring his hand to your waist and rub slowly as he promises to be in you soon.

the stretch at first in painful and unfamiliar, your face pulled into a grimace despite the deep groan leaving him.

“oh, angel,” he growls lowly, his dark eyes meeting yours to see your face twisted in pain. “are you okay? does it hurt?”

“y-yes, but it’s okay. just... slow,” you say quietly, nodding your head reassuringly. 

he hovers over your face as he inches himself in further and further, your breaths shaky and body tense as the pain worsens. 

“i’m sorry, baby, you’re doing so good.”

you nod your head and he kisses away the tears, a sigh of relief leaving you when he stops moving. he’s still inside you for a few seconds, allowing your tight walls to adjust around him before he starts moving.

it takes a few thrusts for the burning pain to subside, replaced by a full, warm feeling that had you moaning quietly into the air. 

“does it feel good now, baby?” you hear yeonjun ask, his thrusts speeding up as his body lays over you. “do you like my cock in you?”

“y-yes,” you mumble out, throwing your legs around his waist. 

he growls lowly as he starts fucking into you, keeping his pace steady and just hard enough to make you lose your mind; because he doesn’t wanna hurt you but you also feel so good, he can’t help but chase after his orgasm.

“tell me you’re mine.”

“i-i’m yours, yeonjun,” you whimper out, his hand coming down to your clit making you cry out again. “i’m yours. yours, yours, yours,” you repeat dumbly, having no sense of control over yourself as an immense pleasure builds inside you. 

he thrusts into you hitting a certain spot that has a scream leaving your mouth, a sadistic smirk on his face.

“that’s right, angel. you’re mine. you’ve been mine ever since i saw you last year,” he growls lowly, remembering the first time he saw you and knew you were gonna somehow effect him like this. 

“i wanted to ruin you then, baby, because i knew you’d be mine.”

“yeonjun,” you whine, thrusting your hips into him at his words. remembering all the times he caught you staring at him. all the times you’d watch him and thought about how handsome he was.

how someone like him would never want someone like you. 

but he wants you and you want him and it’s still something you can’t quite believe. you know you’re both different but it seems to be something that works, him bringing you out of your comfort zone and you making him wanna be someone better.

“i’m gonna come, angel,” he grunts out, “i’m gonna fucking come. come with me.”

you feel the knot in your stomach unravel before you’re both moaning each other’s names, chests heaving and his breathing harsh as he holds himself lazily above you. 

he drops his head into the crook of your neck, attempting to catch his breath despite the feeling of your post orgasm spazzing around him.

the pounding takes a few seconds to subside, a final moan leaving him before he pulls out of you. 

he’s quick to collapse onto his back, hanging his arm off the bed lazily as he searches for his shirt. 

he cleans you up a few moments later, watching you with a small smile before he pulls you down onto him again.

“how was that?” he mumbles quietly, his eyes closed and head resting atop yours. 

“really good,” you mumble back, your own eyes closed as you attempt to catch your breath. you still feel a little sticky but it’s not something you mind in this moment, your post orgasm daze leaving you content. 

it could be the post orgasm daze making you say the next words that leave your mouth. on such a high of emotions and endorphins and utter contentment that the warm feeling in your chest if confused.

or maybe it’s the months of getting to know the boy beside you who had such a bad reputation. who you were terrified of at first and thought was mean an scary, thought for sure he was gonna find you weird and nerdy.

but you’ve never felt more wanted or desired by another person. no one’s ever looked at you the way he’s looked at you before or made you feel the way he’s made you feel. 

“i... i think i love you, yeonjun.”

love had always scared yeonjun and especially hearing a confession like that after sex - it had always been his worst nightmare and, truthfully, an embarrassing moment.

but he’s never felt as listened to and comforted by someone else ever in his life before. someone who, from the second he met them, trusted him and thought of him to be good and smart and capable. 

he didn’t know why and he didn’t know what he did for you to think of him that way but he knows he’s never gonna take it for granted. because from the second he saw you, he really did know you were gonna be his.

“i think i might love you, too, angel.”

#hello my first txt fic #pls look forward to it #also use protection <3 jdfkvks #yeonjun #yeonjun fluff #yeonjun angst #yeonjun smut #txt fluff #txt angst #txt smut #yeonjun scenarios #yeonjun imagines #txt scenarios #txt imagines