#bsd hurt comfort

[ravencincaide]

Flirting With Death 

Summary:  “Osamu,- You naughty boy. You’re so impa–” There was more than one reason why Dazai wished to die. He’d pray for it over and over again, and yet each time he’d only get a glimpse of his home before he was torn back into his mortal existence. Until next time, next encounter.. 

Pairing: Reader x Dazai

Inspired by Art of Seduction prompt 4: Away from home 

Warnings: Hint at death/suicide (it’s Dazai- c’mon!), mention of physical hurt, light mention of drugs, light angst/ hurt-comfort. 

Dazais body did not hurt.

Each breath felt light and airy; no pain from cracked ribs or gunshot wounds which reminded him of their existence. No sore skin picked, cut and prodded that screamed at him in protest.  No suffocating weight over his chest, or drowsiness from drugs. Both of his eyes worked, his gaze locked onto the water; the ocean waves which gently swooshed against the beach almost touching the bottom of his dress-shoes half buried in the sand. 

Inches away a little crab crawled past him; it had buried itself in the sand just in time to avoid the oncoming wave and the very real risk of being washed away by the gentle swoosh of it. After the wave retreated the little sea creature was nowhere to be seen. Was the crab even still there? 

Dazai reached a hand out in the direction of where he last saw the animal- then froze as his gaze landed on the familiar bandages which stretched from the tips of his fingers and further under his coat. Around his arms, his torso and up to his neck. Without any aches and pains he hadn’t even noticed their presence. Until now. And yet the moment he saw them, he felt his mood sour. The light almost fluffy feeling in his chest was replaced with a pang of anxiety and disappointment. Their existence meant he wasn’t actually dead. 

What a pity. 

Dazai heaved a sigh and ran a bandaged hand through his hair. Then paused mid action as he heard steps behind him a distance away. He listened as they shifted closer, the gentle swoosh of clothes and shifting sands; sounds which sent shivers up and down his spine. Unfamiliar emotion curled in the pit of his stomach. Eyes burning, heart hammering. Each breath felt light- yet heavy all at once. Nothing hurt yet he couldn’t get enough air. 

“ Osamu-” 

The voice- that voice- made his breath hitch. He spun on his heel, Dazai began running, sprinting as if someone was dangling death and everything he cherished right in front of him. The cloaked figure was just a few paces- yet to him- it felt like he had run an eternity. 

“- You naughty boy. You’re so impa–”  the words stopped making sense in his head; his mind focused on getting closer and closer. Until he launched his body forward, threw himself and the figure awkwardly into the sand. Crawled up until he could reach, Dazai ripped the hood away just as the first tears spilled from his eyes. 

It was you. 

Just like Dazai remembered; your eyes, your face, your nose, your hair. You were older than your last encounter yet still exactly the same. His heart clenched painfully and he leaned forward, studied every inch of your surprised expression, salvaged each puff of warm breath on his skin. The way tears rolled down your cheeks before they dropped into the sand. His tears. He wanted to scream and be quiet; to jump up and run around the beach and to stay right there and hold you close. To be closer; closer and closer. 

A quiet sob, masked by a hiccup tore through his chest. And your surprised expression took on a kinder look, lips shifting from parted and into a gentle smile. Those lips- before Dazai fully registered it, his lips wore on top of yours, messy and clumsily. An awkward combination of  tongue and teeth. Not sexy at all. But he didn’t care, his heart fluttered and ached in his chest at your taste. And soared when you kissed him back, your hands moving to brush careful fingers through his hair. Finally, his mind grew silent. 

At that moment, the only thing Dazai wished for was that he was dead. That he was truly and honestly dead. He had never wished for that as much as in that moment. That way he could stay here with you. 

Forever. 

“ Osamu you know it’s not the case-” you broke the kiss first, mumbling words he didn’t want to hear. He tried to kiss you again, to make you silent. Just another one, just one more, and just one more. An hour- a second more was all he craved. All he begged for. 

Yet when you pushed him back, his body followed your touch. Flopping down beside you into the warm sand which enveloped him like a hug. Unsurprisingly it didn’t bring him any comfort.  Dazai dropped an arm over his eyes. “ Why?” was all he choked out before his sobs tore through his body, his shoulders shook with every agonizing tear that rolled down his eyes. Why would you make him go back there? To force him to suffer through a human existence. 

He heard you shift, felt your touch and helped you maneuver his body however you wanted. Like a doll- a puppet with its strings cut loose. Dazai felt his head land into something soft- your lap. Then the gentle thread of your fingers through his hair. They paused to massage his scalp then brushed them through the thick strands. Your scent filled Dazai’s senses, inadvertently it calmed him down until he just laid there. Salvaged the moment. Your touch was the only thing that kept him grounded. 

“ You know, you’re an awful kisser” your voice, the lighthearted playful tone, made his lips tug upwards into a smile. 

“ What would you know about kisses?” Dazai shot back instinctively, peeking an eye out from under his arm just to catch sight of your huff and eyeroll. 

“ Enough to know you don’t kiss with teeth!”  

“ Teeth? Don’t know what you’re talking about” he lied as he moved to sit up. 

Dazai’s hand reached up and rested on your cheek, bringing your face closer until your forehead rested against his own. Amber eyes stared into yours, saying so much and so little all at once. Slowly Dazai blinked them shut, a sigh escaped his lips. His breath- coffee and alcohol which a boy his age shouldn’t be drinking filled your senses. A silent plea in them not to make him go back.Just once, just make an exception. 

For him.

Dazai heard you sigh; yet still prayed you’d change your mind. All the while he knew you were too much of a sucker for rules to do that. As your hand rested on his cheek, your thumb brushed the remaining wetness away, he had his answer. 

“Osamu, I told you we’d meet when you’re old. My love until then..” your voice made his heart clench painfully. The thought of another goodbye hurt him more than any stab- or bullet-wound ever could. The kind of ache that went beyond reason, beyond pride. 

If he knew it would make a difference, Dazai would get on his knees and beg. 

But he knew it wouldn’t. Not now, not yet. Leaned forward he brought his lips back to yours. He kept a hand behind your neck, massaging it with his fingers. This kiss was just as messy and inexperienced as the first one but he didn’t care. All he could think about was your taste; sweet like pomegranate, bitter like chocolate. 

The feeling of you so close to him. The sensation of one hand on his shoulder, and the second one rested on top of his, fingers interlocked in the sand. Each kiss was a kiss hello, each breath between a mournful goodbye. Mixing tastes together until Dazai was certain he wouldn’t forget. 

A flavor he would always seek out. 

“Next time we meet you better become a better kisser” you teased, your smile shaky and not quite matching the confident tone. Eyes glossy, lips raw. Your hand shook on top of his, and Dazai gripped it tighter. Holding on, even as he felt the sensation fade. 

“ I will; I promise you my Belladonna. And then I’ll teach you all about it.” Dazai’s voice was quiet, gentle, his fingers brushing your hair out of your face. Trailed out your features, under your eyes. Ghosted one final time over your lips before dropping away.  

“ I’m gonna hold you to it” 

The light warm sensation, the airy freedom faded into agonizing pain. Each nerve-ending, each cell screamed at him in agony. In protest. His mind was a hazy mess of drugs and sedatives that barely dulled the physical torture. And yet it could not compare to the agony in his chest- the heartache that out ached each and every physical wound on his beaten, mortal body. A body that just would not die; a body that kept getting up over and over again. Day in and day out.  Much to his dismay.  

“Tell me Dazai, why is it you wish to die?”

“ Lets turn that question around. Is there really any value to this thing we call ‘living’?”

Author note: I hope you enjoyed this fic or in the very least tolerated it enough not to hate me for it. I had hoped to manage to write the other prompts in the series before publishing this one but life kinda got in the way. So please enjoy this while I go get my ass kicked by school.

Until next time. Like this work and want more? Check out Raven's Masterlist

©ravencincaide 2024. Do not copy/repost/translate or spread my work(s) without my explicit permission. If you see any of my work(s) reposted/copied anywhere else without my consent, please inform me!

#raven cincade's works #Art of Seduction #bsd hurt comfort #dazai osamu x reader #dazai x reader #dazai x you #dazai x y/n #dazai x gn reader #bsd x reader

[awoogayanderes]

chapter six : you did as you were told

➪ sypnosis : you’re much more aware of things than what the doctor believed you were

➪ other notes : hi guys :3 here’s a new chapter, i didn’t like how it turned out but this is also kinda like a filler chapter that builds up afterwards, need reader with some trauma. also reader might seem a bit dramatic BUT PLS REMEMBER THAT SHES LITERALLY 13 IN THIS.

➪ warnings : manipulation, MORI IS A HOE !!!! ( as always )

➪ prologue | chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four | chapter five | chapter six

you didn’t have anything to do, boredom often consumed you. so, on most days when your chores were completed, you pass your time outside. maybe even wandering on the outskirts of yokohama, memorizing the path back home easily. mori didn’t really care, well he didn’t notice much when he was caring for the old man you no longer saw.

you hummed quietly as you returned home, picking up a newspaper from a trash can. “rise of the armed detective agency” blah blah, “more violence on the streets” blah blah, “the sheep strike again.” now that interested you. how shameful it is that such a violent group is named after a docile animal.

shaking your head, you throw the newspaper back into another trash can. when you get to the doctor’s house, there’s a slight hesitation when you place your hand on the door knob. nevertheless, there was no other place for you to go. the door creaks, the hinges on their last life. when you walk into the kitchen, you can see the doctor surrounded in papers.

“how was your day, dear ?” the doctor asks as he looks up. “fine, how was yours ?” you ask, already wondering why he was home. “same old, same old,” he says. “why are you here early ?” your thoughts become dialogue. “he wants to be alone,” mori says, knowing what you’re indicating. you hum in response.

“can he can think properly ?” you ask. the doctor shakes his head, “pity isn’t it ?” a scoff leaves your lips by accident. “he should still be able to be conscious of his thoughts, he’s not schizophrenic,” you say, furrowing your eyebrows. mori parts his lips before giving you a smile, but there was an uncomfortable curve of his lips that made you shut your mouth.

“my, my, how lovely it is to see you pay such attention to keen details,” mori says. you don’t say anything, you felt, almost scared. no, not almost, you were scared. “what are you doing to him ?” you quietly ask. “me ? nothing,” he says, a calm tone on his words. “how much longer does he actually have ?” you ask.

“a month,” the doctor sighs. your lips part as a small gasp leaves your lips. “you’re destroying his brain…?” you ask, almost hesitantly. you knew that the doctor wasn’t…well not a good doctor but all doctors save lives don’t they ?! “he asked about you the other day, he believed you were his daughter,” the doctor sighed, still not answering your question.

“you told me…you have told me that death comes naturally, that doctors should never be the cause of death,” you say, courage taking over you. “but you’re who’s killing him, my dear, you’re the one who supplied the medicine, you started the process,” mori says, standing up, and that’s when you freeze.

you ? a soon to be murderer ? but you just did what you were ordered to do in your time with him, give the boss the same medication every day. the doctor grabs your hands, holding them in his own before leaning down. “his blood is on your hands.” he whispers, meeting eye to eye with you. not realizing you’re shaking, the doctor lets go of your cold hands and stands up to his normal height, still in front of you.

“you did as you were told, but you are still at fault here, you are the reason he will die,” mori says, looking down at your smaller frame, yours eyes wide. you feel your heart in your throat, you only wanted to comply with what the doctor said, nothing more, nothing less. yet you were to blame, yet you ARE to blame.

“have a pleasant rest of your evening, my dear,” the doctor says, leaving you in the middle of the kitchen, in the same position with your hands out, it was as if you were frozen. you could only see the sun slowly droop and the night sky reigned, as you thought to yourself in misery. you only did as you were told.

#written by terra #sincerely terra #bsd #bungou stray dogs #osamu dazai x reader #dazai x reader #bsd manga #bsd x reader #bsd manga spoilers #bsd dazai #bsd anime #dazai bsd #bsd mori ougai #bsd mori #bsd spoilers #bsd fic #bsd imagines #bsd angst #bsd hurt comfort

[lukall705]

I'm gonna try to finish two fanfics this week 🤑🤑

One of them is a chuuya x gn! reader comfort fanfic and the other one is chuuya x m! reader smut, so if anyone wants to be tagged in them tell me

#bsd #dazai osamu #dazai x reader #bsd x reader smut #bungo stray dogs #dazai smut #chuuya #chuuya nakahara #chuuya smut #chuuya x reader #bsd smut #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd x you #bsd fluff #bsd x reader #dazai osamu x reader #fyodor smut #nikolai smut #sigma smut #atsushi smut #male reader #bsd akutagawa #akutagawa smut #bsd hurt comfort #bsd angst

[universallychaoticpan]

i am in love with your work whaa-

i have a request- if you're free and if you like the idea of course hahahaha- i have no idea if you're comfy with this type of thing, because i haven't seen many people (I've seen none) do this type of stories- because it's always the reader that gets hurt- like man I'm tired of always barely surviving a fanfic 😭😭

so my request is dazai x reader where dazai gets injured or it can be about his scars, anything angsty (again, if you're comfortable with it) it can have a fluffy ending (preferably) but I'll leave that to you!

i love your work and i hope you're doing well <3 sending a lot a lot of love to you❤️

If you're familiar with my work, you know I love turning tropes on their heads, so I am delighted to write this! Also thank you so much for your sweet words, it means a lot knowing people enjoy my work. I hope you enjoy! <33

Years ago, you and Dazai had learned that the lives you led kept you close to death at all times. It took a stubborn will to live that way; it took someone who refused to die, even after so much- it took someone who dared to defy death day after day and continue breathing.

You had so many scars between you to prove how much death craved you. In your skin, anyone could see just how desperately death yearned to claim you as its own. You knew every story in every scar, knew every memory they carried in your skin and in his. You were used to his scars, loved them even.

But god, how he scared you.

All you were aware of was the pounding heart in your chest, a bird desperate to escape the cage of your ribs, to fly away in a storm of blood. But you couldn't stop here; Dazai had already lost too much blood, the gash on his forehead dark and foreboding as you strained against your body to bring him home. You didn't want to think about how long he had been bleeding in the street before you had come, didn't want to think about how he would have been safe if he hadn't insisted on going out that night alone. And even when he was someplace safe, when he was in the familiar confines of your home, you were unable to relax. You brushed tears from your eyes, chastising yourself as you cleaned the blood away. You reminded yourself that tears would not help anyone now, least of all Dazai. But you couldn't bear to look at him; you couldn't stand to look at his face, too still and too soft, void of soul and life. You worked without thinking, watched your hands move of their own accord. You watched your fingers recall years of practice, years of stitches and sutures, and you begged him to be alright. You prayed that you would be enough to save him. You had to be enough

It took you an hour to finish- 60 agonizing minutes of watching for a hint of life, 60 minutes of being disappointed when there was nothing.

You missed him more than anything, then. You missed the man who could always take your mind far from your troubles, the boy who had once upon a time stitched your own wounds and given you your own story-laden scars. You missed the simple pleasure of his voice, the simplicity of groaning at his bad jokes. And with every passing moment, your fear grew; you feared you were too late.

So you held his comatose body close, the silence deafening as you felt your heart breaking. A life without your first love, without your dearest friend- to you it was a fate worse than death.

"You're too quiet. Usually I can't ever get you to shut up." Your voice was thick with tears, but anything was better than the silence. "I used to love the quiet and now you've gone and ruined that for me too, you asshole." You chuckled bitterly, swiping a hand across your nose. "What a dick move, getting me so attached to you, you maniac. You better wake up."

"I won't beg. I won't beg you, because you aren't worth it. But I swear I will never hate anyone more than you if you leave me here." You stared down at his still face, and you broke.

"You bastard," you sobbed. "If you die here I will never forgive you; I swear that much, Osamu Dazai." Burring your face in his neck, you tried to lose yourself in him as you cried gently.

"Please," you whispered. "Please don't leave me. You're all I have now.

Please, Osamu- I'm afraid."

Your head rested gently on his chest, searching for the sound of his beating heart, panicking in the split second you heard nothing in between the beats.

And then you felt his hand come to rest atop your head.

"You know, I really thought you'd be the one comforting me after I nearly died." A voice so weak in your ear had never broken and mended you so surely as his did then. Eyes had never seen right through you, hands had never held you like you were as precious as his did when he brought his arms around you.

And he was smiling, weakly, but he was there once again; like an ember, you saw him fighting to come back to you, to return once again and remind you:

Death would not steal him from you yet.

#dazai x reader #bsd x readfer #osamu dazai x reader #dazai osamu x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #dazai x reader angst #bsd hurt comfort

[originalartblog]

Question, is there tiny soukoku corruption??????

With big Chuuya around I don't think Tiny would ever need to use Corruption. His tiny gravity manipulation isn't as strong.

But you got it in my head so let's picture it: there is this 3cm-tall dude that faintly glows red and throws deadly baseballs around. He's fast, dangerous, and, again, 3cm tall. Good luck catching, or even spotting him.

It's Chuuya who ends up having to catch him and throw him at Dazai like a ping pong ball so Dazai can nullify him. Or maybe throw Tinyzai at him. Your pick.

and then Tiny rolls over and starts snoring the hurt away because he's Chuuya and he's just built different.

tiny snore

#you made me think about it and therefore i'm making it everyone's problem #bonus for maximum hurt/comfort: #imagine both chuuyas ended up using corruption here and since the dazais (and/or anyone else there) can't catch tiniya- #-chuuya ends up getting back up and going after him like described above before passing out #thank you for coming to my ted talk #once again thank you remi for the brainstorm <3 #tiny skk adventures #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd fanart #bsd dazai #bsd dazai osamu #bsd chuuya #bsd nakahara chuuya #skk #soukoku #nawy's doodles #ask answered

[cloudysleepingzone]

While on the outside Dazai seems like a carefree flirty man with not much else going for him but his devilishly handsome looks, around you he is a completely different person. When around you he feels like he doesn't need to hold anything back from you. But regardless of how many times he tells himself that or even you telling him, he can never let himself be vulnerable completely. Never.

In front of others, Dazai is different than when it's just you and him in a private setting. Even when he starts to spiral into the dark pit of his own thoughts he can never bring himself to open up to you all the way, what if you leave? What if you stop loving him? What if you never want to see him again all together?

These stupid thoughts plague him at any slight weakness he shows to you, he could cry into your chest for HOURS and still, his mind won't let him.

"Hey it's alright.. " you run your fingers through his slightly unkept brown hair, trying to soothe him the best you can. "Do you want to talk about it...?" Just that question alone makes his mind want to go blank, he won't answer. He can't. He won't.

Even once he had partially calmed down and is clinging onto your sides, his face buried into your neck as you try to make something to eat for the two of you. His worn out bandages dangle under his arms, the wraps around his neck dropped to his chest. Dazai is always so clingy after any kind of meltdown he has, despite him saying nothing, the silence alone carries enough pain.

He clings onto you for dear life as if you'll walk out the door and leave him any minute...nothing else to do other than cover him in affections...

#fanfic #bsd x reader #fluff #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai osamu x reader #dazai x reader #bsd dazai #angst #hurt/comfort

[bee-writes-n-spins]

the mask goes on the minute other people look.

make eye contact. too much, look away. now smile and nod. stop bouncing your leg. make them like you.

those are his thoughts. because too many people have called him weird. too many people have pointed and laughed. too many people made fun of him for just being himself.

oh, but you..

you remind him it's okay to unmask. you smile, listening to him ramble about his interests. you could listen for hours and never get bored.

when you notice his discomfort in a crowd. when you help him communicate when he's too overwhelmed to talk.

with you, the ribbon that holds the mask together comes undone. with you, his mask falls to the ground.

POE, RANPO, dazai, GIYUU, kenma, l lawliet, near, WANDERER, AL HATHIAM, kaveh, LYNEY, and any of your autistic favorites!

#poe x reader #bsd poe #bungo stray dogs x reader #ranpo x reader #autistic poe #autistic ranpo #hurt/comfort #dazai x reader #bsd ranpo #bsd dazai #kny giyuu #giyuu tomioka #giyuu x reader #kny x reader #l lawliet #l death note #l x reader #death note near #near x reader #genshin x reader #death note x reader #wanderer #wanderer x reader #al haitham #alhaitham #al haitam x reader #kaveh #kaveh x reader #lyney #lyney x reader

[the-bloody-sadist]

Hurt comfort/aftermath of Mori’s abuse comm exclusively on ptrn! Full here

#yaoi #skk #soukoku #Dazai #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #Chuuya #bsd #bungou stray dogs #Bungo stray dogs #whump #hurt/comfort #hurt/angst #whump tag #emotional whump #aftermath #aftermath of whump #medical whump #dazai x chuuya #preview #patreon preview #commissioned art #whumpblr #art #whump art #whump community

[un-lawliet]

“Present.”

— in which Dazai wants to kiss you

part two here <3

“Osamu…”

Dazai lifted his gaze, his eyes narrowing at your figure.

It was cold.

The Summer, having prolonged its stay, pliantly welcomed the first cool breeze of Autumn, inviting the ember shafts of the moon a little earlier, cutting the day shorter and introducing the night before the clock struck nine.

And Yokohama appeared to come alive at night.

The streets bustled with crowds, lively and impeached with an alacrity one would expect to see when the sun was much, much higher in the sky.

Dazai found himself outside the Lupin Bar, leaving a half empty glass of sake idle on the cracked confines of the bar top, the crisp air steadying his somewhat dizzy state, un-fogging his senses and clearing his head.

Leaning against the bar wall, his hands in his pockets, an indiscernible look in his eyes as he watched the ever moving city around him.

It was moments like this when you knew his mind was elsewhere, reminiscing over memories in which you did not know, memories that left you except and puzzling over the glimmer of recognition in the depths of his eye.

Breaking his trance he regarded you with quiet solidarity, as if debating weither or not he should throw up his defences or continue to stare, an eyebrow raised in subdued acknowledgment of your appearance.

He didn’t seem shocked at your return, having been on a mission at the other side of Yokohama for a few days, you feel a sickly indulgence of disappointment in his lack of reaction, your shoulders dropping as you approach him slowly.

He probably knew of your return, he has a habit of knowing seemingly every action and it’s equal reaction before they are even taken, it’s a habit that leaves you uneasy at best, and terrified at worst.

Sighing, you join him against the Bar, leaning your head back against the bumpy surface of the wall.

He looks at you for a moment longer, and it’s as if you can feel him back away, creating an insurmountable distance between the pair of you.

In reality, you know he does not move, but at the sight of an ill placed smile stretching his face, you have never felt so immeasurably far from him.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” He grins, and it’s ugly for a man so devastatingly beautiful in your eyes, you hold back a grimace.

“I’m back.” You say simply, unable to look at him anymore, the footpath suddenly becoming the most interesting thing you’d ever seen before.

A street lamp flickers, the light momentarily dies leaving the pair of you in the dark for a split second before the light returns, Dazai glances upwards to look at it, you don’t even notice.

You don’t know why you even sought him out, your feet seeming to move on their own after Kunikida grumbled that Dazai had headed to Lupin’s Bar just after his shift at the agency.

You have a gift for him from your mission, you tell yourself, attempting to justify your foolish actions, ignoring the voice in your head that reminds you that you would have seen Dazai at the agency at some point the following day.

“You’re back.” He mimics, and he’s back to looking at you again, trying to understand your actions, trying to comprehend why you were currently standing outside in the cold, cold night with him.

“The mission was successful then I suppose?” His smile seemed less indulgent now, and if you were to look up you would surely notice how his body swayed slightly, a testimony to the tipsy feeling resonating in his chest.

You don’t however, your eyes staying downcast as you nod; mumbling about how it was more boring that anything, you hear him laugh at your admission, you hate how empty it sounded.

“Is everyone at the agency ok?” You ponder, clinging to the tail ends of a conversation you were slowly losing.

“You didn’t visit them before you came to see me?” Dazai questions an undeniable tease in his voice, you feel yourself flush.

“I did, it’s how I-” Found out you were here.

The words die on your tongue, refusing to go into detail of how you actively asked for his whereabouts about five minutes into your return.

“Hm?” Dazai coaxes you, although you’re certain he knew what you were about to confess.

“Nothing.” You mumble, your hands clammy, “I uh did, but I only saw Kunikida and Yosano so..” You trail off.

“Ah” He muses.

And in the back of his mind, he wonders if you were simply here because you felt like it, that you had no alterier motives, internally frowning at himself for his suspicions despite knowing you were part of the ADA, critiquing himself silently for falling into old habits that should have died when he left the mafia.

He supposes that maybe you just wanted to see him.

The breeze falls over you both and he’s moving to leave, you look at him again, your head cocked, holding yourself back from questioning, restraining yourself from clinging onto his hand and begging to follow him, indulging yourself in the warmth of other human.

The bar door opens, and for a brief moment you hear the drunken giggles and exclamations of careless patrons, before the door swings shut again, muffling the voices. It grounds you.

Dazai takes a few steps and then turns to face you, his face unreadable, before he tilts his head gesturing for you to follow him, you think your heart soars.

“You coming?”

And you’re pushing yourself away from the wall, nodding.

He doesn’t wait for you to catch up, and you find yourself walking at a pace slightly behind him, your hand subconsciously tracing the box in your pocket.

You wonder if you should give him his gift now, or if you should wait.

When you can’t decided you stay silent, choosing to speed up to level the distance between you both.

You have no idea where you’re going, simply following a man who’s actions you couldn’t begin to understand. He makes no effort to inform you of the destination and so you make no effort to ask.

Dazai likes to think when he walks, constantly scheming, devising ways in which he could encourage Atshushi to grow, or better yet, another way to end his life, and fail, over and over again.

A bitter cycle that infringes upon his thoughts like a bullet.

Tonight however, his thoughts circle back to you, and your silence, and how your face seems to glow in the dim light of the night. And he blames the alcohol that’s coursing through his blood, the last of his drink finally hitting him as he walks, dizzying him and rendering him in a state of concealed vulnerability.

“So.” His voice comes out steady, despite his tendency to slur his sentences when under the influence.

You look at him, gently urging him to continue.

“You’re hiding something.” He states, and you curse him for his intellect and damn observation.

You grip your coat tighter, eyeing the bulge in your pocket, defeat already coaxing you to reveal your intentions.

“I suppose.” You whisper, concluding to yourself that there was really no reason to hide the present from him, after all it was just a gift shared between two work colleagues, there was no need to plaster it with a hidden agenda.

Reaching into your pocket you timidly lift it out, his gift was wrapped, just like everyone’s gift from the agency, a pretty ribbon tying it all together in a clumsy bow. You feel foolish.

“I brought you something from my mission.” You explain, your eyes trained on his face.

And Dazai pauses, his steps slowing to a stop as he stares at the box in your hand, and you scramble to explain yourself, eyes wide.

“I-I got everyone from the agency something!” You stammered, “I just…wanted to give it to you.”

He doesn’t move for a second, his eyes moving between your flustered face and the present.

A car drives past, it’s headlights cause you to blink.

“Do you plan on giving them their presents in such an intimate manner as well?” His voice was softer, as if he himself is unsure of your answer.

His question makes you freeze, feeling as if you were caught in your own actions.

You whisper a tiny “No” and Dazai just nods.

And you hate how you don’t understand.

His hand brushes yours as he picks up the box, his hands are cold, you try not to shiver under his calculating gaze.

“You don’t have to open it now.” You mumble, willing yourself to look him in his eye.

Truthfully you hope he doesn’t open it in front of you, unable to cope with the silent weight of the consequences to your actions.

Dazai finally breaks eye contact to look at the bow, his finger going up to play with the flimsy material.

You brought him something, you had thought of him. Dazai, was unable to fathom how you could be so pure and act so well intentioned to someone with his past.

Did you not believe him to cruel? A man desperately trying to patch over his history with the excuse that he had changed. Changed from the eighteen year old who’s presence struck fear in those unfortunate enough to know his name. Who’s presence alone caused the death of the only person who-

Bitterly, he reminds himself that you had thought of everyone at the ADA.

Without a word he pockets the gift, that same ugly smile rippling his features yet again.

“How kind of you to think of me!” He exclaims, his voice far too loud for the quietness of the gesture, clapping his hands together in an enthusiastic display of himself.

The distance between the pair of you stretched for miles and you shake your head.

“I think about you plenty.” Your voice is hushed, edging on exasperated, because (although you would rather die than describe your complicated feelings for Osamu Dazai out-loud) you don’t appreciate being pushed away.

The moon appears to hide behind the clouds, leaving the street lights to fend for themselves. Their glow emphasising your features as he looks at you.

And Dazai wants to kiss you.

It’s a desire that materialises amidst the acutely awkward silence that follows your admission, it breathes down his neck and forces him to lose any and all words that might escape his lips.

He smiles, a bandaged hand reaching up to cup your cheek, your eyes squint; confusion, admiration and need seeping out from their sockets and onto your face, and Dazai, for once, is grateful for his ability to read people, to read you.

He wants to kiss you, but he doesn’t.

You lean into his hand as his thumb gently draws circles across the area just below your eye, your lips part, a question you will never ask bubbling in your throat.

The pair of you look at each-other for another brief moment before Dazai removes his hand from you and turns, hiding his expression.

“You’re cold.” He states, starting to walk, “You should go home.”

And you watch him go, your feet refusing to move, body overcome with a melancholy you only ever seem to experience around Dazai.

The moon peaks out from behind the clouds again, as if to ask if you’re ok. Illuminating both you and your surroundings like a blanket.

And you feel exhausted.

masterlist <3 or part 2 here :)

feel free to leave a request !

A/N: this was supposed to be fluff idk what happened- i think i started thinking of chapter in 109 half way through, i’m sorry ANYWAY hi bsd fandom ily ily ily and thank you for reading !!!

#dazai x reader #bsd dazai #bsd season 5 #bsd manga #bsd #bungo stray dogs dazai #bungo stray dogs x reader #hurt/comfort #angst #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs manga #dazai osamu #dazai smut #dazai x reader comfort

[chuuyascumsock]

I’m Here // Minors DNI

Summary: Chuuya doesn’t remember his dreams, but he feels it. [Based off the canon fact that Chuuya doesn’t dream/doesn’t remember his dreams.]

Tags: Nakahara Chuuya/ GN Reader (referred to as Doll once but gender isn’t specific), SFW, Hurt/Comfort, Not Much Warning, But Chuuya Cries, Also Mentions Chuuya’s Thoughts Of Not Feeling Human So Dehumanizing Feelings Of Oneself.

Nakahara Chuuya/Reader Drabble

Chuuya doesn’t dream, or at least he doesn’t remember them.

And yet there’s an overwhelming feeling of grief stirring inside of him when he awakes abruptly, a sheen of sweat drenching his face and around his neck. Soft pants fall from his lips as he sits upright, one of his calloused hands flying up to smooth over the left side of his chest where a dull ache throbs within. He doesn’t know why this happens, but it does. He knows that even if he doesn’t remember his dreams, he subconsciously knows what they’re about. Feels what they’re about. His past— the people he’s lost— the things he’s had to do to survive.

Chuuya doesn’t cry.

But he does tonight, melancholy overtaking everything else in him. His tears are silent and scarce, the feeling unusual and almost surreal to him. When did he become so weak?

“Chuuya?” Your voice is groggy and slurred from sleep as you shift beneath the covers to slowly move to sit up.

Chuuya’s breathing hitches, thankful that the room is pitch black. He can barely make out your figure next to him, but see that you’re moving to lean closer to him. Chuuya clears his throat and responds quietly, “Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you, Doll… Go back to sleep.”

Your hand moves to feel out next to you to find him until it lands splayed out on his back, “Why are you up? What’s wrong?” You ask, worry lacing your tone.

“Nothing, m’fine…” He sighs out, making a move to wipe his damp face with his hands. His hands stop though when he feels your warm hands cup his face and wipe away his tears with your thumbs.

“It doesn’t sound like nothing,” You murmur, shuffling to switch positions, though slightly difficult due to your limited vision. You face Chuuya now, hands moving from his face to smooth down his wild bed hair from tossing and turning. “Why are you upset?” You’re just the slightest bit confused having known about Chuuya’s inability to dream— or that he doesn’t remember them, so it couldn’t be that. Could it?

“I…” Chuuya sniffles, but it’s barely discernible. “I had a bad dream,” He pauses before letting out a shaky exhale, “I feel it.”

You almost frown, but it curls into a gentle smile, though you know Chuuya can’t see it in the dark. “You feel it?” It’s an innocent question, much like your touch as you tuck some of his damp bangs behind his ear. You feel him nod, leaning into your touch for comfort— seeking you out in a moment of vulnerability. You don’t elaborate on your thoughts about the three simple words he spoke— that you think he’s more human than any other being you’ve met— that you wish he’d look at himself through your eyes and see how living he was beneath his flesh and bones. But you push it to the back of your mind for a later conversation.

“It aches,” Chuuya’s voice strains, wishing the throbbing would disappear from his chest.

“I know,” You whisper. Your hands find themselves slipping around his waist to hold him from your position next to him, “But I’m here.” You reassure, head resting into the crook of his neck.

He turns his head to place a gentle kiss to your head, arm looping around your back to caress along your spine soothingly, “You are.”

Chuuya survived all his life, but with you, he felt like he was living.

#chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #bsd x reader #hurt/comfort #Chuuya needs a hug :( #I need to comfort him #just give me three minutes in a room with him by myself and we’ll be signing a marriage certificate

[catmelonwriting]

Oohmygofd pleaaase plsplspls write bulimic reader... As some1 who's bulimic i will die if u do (positively)

BSD Men with a bulimic!reader

Warnings: Bulimia, not proofread, vomit type purging, very self inserted and based off my experiences, bad body image, reader is not underweight, hurt/comfort, a couple usages of (name) in akutagawa's bc I just can't see this man using pet names

Characters: Akutagawa, Chuuya

A/N: I'm sooo glad I'm not the only one who wanted this.. I was really hesitant to write it bc my blog is entirely smut and that usually does better than hurt/comfort, angst, or fluff, but if I'm not the only person who wants it I'm deffy gonna write it!! I don't really like Akutagawas I definitely didn't do him justice but I loveeeee chuuya's

Akutagawa

- Probably will not notice until you tell him.. just thinks you're sick or something when he hears coughing noises from the bathroom.

- From then on he's really concerned, he'll probably do a lot of research on it (w/o you knowing ofc)

- Will try and get you into treatment, even just IOP, but if you refuse HE is going to monitor everything your eating

- If you do end up binging in the middle of the night or while he's not there, the bathroom is off limits for the next 45 minutes.

- He will literally stand in the way of the doorway if you try to go, he's not risking anything.

- If you try not to eat too much the next day to 'make up for it' he'll sit with you while you eat and give you encouraging words here and there, but neither of you are getting up till your finished.

One shot

You're kneeled over the bathroom toilet, the back of a toothbrush nudging your throat, when you let out a loud gag. You immediately take the toothbrush out and cover your mouth.. you had learned to be so quiet after akutagawa found out about your eating disorder, how could you let that happen?

You hear footsteps approaching the bathroom door before three short knocks. "Yeah, Ryū?" You ask, your voice was raspy and you sounded like you had been crying. Fuck, he knows.

"..(Name) are you alright? Are you doing something you shouldn't?" His voice was sharp, like he was angry. You knew he wasn't, you knew he would never be angry at your for something like this.. just.. upset, but you can't help the guilt that courses through your body at his words.

"No." You choke out, shuffling to shove the toothbrush back in the holder. "I heard gagging." You clear your throat, trying to get rid of the rasp. "Um.. I wasn't. Just coughing. I'm not feeling well." You call out, quickly flushing your thrown up dinner down the toilet. "I'll be out in a second."

You dig in the drawers for your perfume, air freshener, dry shampoo, anything you can spray to cover up the smell of your throw up, but you couldn't find anything. So you hesitantly clean your hands and leave the bathroom with the overwhelming smell of vomit filling it.

"Hey, love." You mumble, sitting down next to him on the couch, your voice shaky. "..(Name), don't lie to me. I know what you were doing." He mumbles, placing his hand on the back of your head, pulling you closer to him. You blink back tears as you push your face into his chest. "Im sorry.. I'm so so sorry.. I didn't mean to.. I didn't.." you choke out, sniffling.

"Don't apologize to me, dear. I'm not mad, or even upset. Just.. concerned. You told me you would stop." His voice sounded sympathetic, something you weren't used to with him. The smell of cigarette smoke hung on your jacket, a scent you had grown to love and found comforting since meeting him. The way his lanky, boney, ring covered fingers glided through your hair, his soft voice, it all comforted you, it all told you it was okay to cry.

His heart ached at the little gasps and sniffles and whimpers you let out whilst sobbing into his chest. It made him want to start bawling with you, but of course he wouldn't. He could never appear weak to you. "I'm sorry- I'm so sorry Ryu- I just can't stop- I can't stop no matter how hard I try.." you sob, hands moving to cling onto the fabric of his shirt. "I'm so sorry!"

"Oh baby.." he sighed. You didn't want to look up, you know he's looking down with pity. Pity you didn't want. "It's alright. I don't want you to cry, it's not your fault.. I understand- well, no, I don't. I don't understand, but I want to help you." Wrapping his arms around you, he leans into your head, the scent of your shampoo filling his nose.

That's where you two lay for the rest of your night, him whispering comforting words in your ears, giving you all the love you could ever ask for, something you'd never expect from a man like him.

Chuuya

- He notices within the first month of FRIENDSHIP

- The way you get up and scurry off to the bathroom after every meal you share, the guilt on your face after grabbing a third serving at the party you two are at, how quick you shove shit down your throat before tears well up in your eyes and you excuse yourself.. all of it.

- He definitely cares, but probably won't confront you about it till later on in the friendship if you're still having trouble

- He won't just send you a lousy "have you been eating properly?" Text either, he's gonna invite you over to his house making it known you two are gonna have a serious conversation, then sit you down in his living room then prod and probe till you admit it.

- If you're still struggling w/ it when you're dating/when you move in together (which you probably are bc eds are harsh) he'll be like Akutagawa and monitor everything you eat, just a little more stealthily

- He is not afraid to tell you to slow down if you seem to be overeating.. he takes the binging just as seriously as the purging.

Oneshot

You had awakened in the middle of the night with a need for food. Anything you could get your hands on you needed inside of you asap.

You quickly and carefully slipped out of his arms and out of bed, tip toeing to the kitchen and flicking the light on. The first thing you see is a brand new box of cereal you had bought today, Chuuya hadn't had it in awhile, it was his favorite as a kid and he seemed happy while buying it. Guilt tote through you when you ripped open the box and shuffled handfuls into your mouth, before discarding the half empty box on the ground.

You reached for the cake you two had made for your birthday last week, taking fistfuls with your bare hands and shoving the icing covered cake in your mouth.

After shoving everything in vicinity down your throat, you open the fridge to find a diet coke, or a regular, just anything with bubbles.. anything with carbonation to help you get this all up better. Anything. Your eyes land on an energy drink you had bought yesterday.. you were saving it for today, but in your eyes you needed it now.

You crack it open and glug it down, before looking at the mess you made on the floor. Empty boxes, half eaten cake, a carton of half eaten cookies, an empty bowl that was previously filled with salad, an empty milk carton.. you felt sick to your stomach. You needed this out of you now. Now.

You quietly tip toe to the bathroom, turning off the kitchen lights behind you and locking the door behind you, kneeling on the ground in front of the toilet. You hated doing this, you hated how gross you felt hovering over something where your ass went.. but you needed it gone. You couldn't gain weight.. you already felt so fat as it is no matter how much chuuya tried to convince you you're average.. you just couldn't believe it. Looking in the mirror all you could see was piles of fat.

You push the back of your toothbrush down your throat, gagging almost silently as the first few things came up. You recognized some chocolate, veggies, something.. red.. you didn't want to think about it too much as you shoved the toothbrush back down your throat. You watched as everything you ate came up opposite to the order you had it in.

Finally, you recognize barely chewed lumps of cereal fall into the toilet, and after you throw up stomach acid mixed with dark blood, you sigh, wipe your mouth and stand up, flushing the toilet, and clean yourself up.

Walking out of the bathroom, you see the kitchen lights on. Fuck. You could've sworn you turned those off.

Your ginger haired boyfriend turns the corner from the kitchen, looking you dead in the eyes with disappointment on his face. You wished you could just evaporate. "Love, what is this?" He sounded.. exasperated. Tired of you, tired of your illness, tired of having a girlfriend who can't just eat normally. You were tired of it too, but the Internet made recovery seem so much easier than it really was.

Tears flow out of your eyes as you wipe the remaining spit dribbling from your mouth away. "Did you throw up?" He sighs.. you can't tell if he's being sympathetic or if he's annoyed. Maybe both. All you can muster is a nod before you fall into his chest, letting out broken sobs and choking out apologies. From where you are you can glance into the kitchen, noticing he had cleaned up the little mess you made.

God, not only did he have to deal with such an emotional, disordered girlfriend.. he had to clean up after you too? You felt like such a terrible person, like you didn't deserve his love.

"Cmon, sweetie, let's go to bed. Let me tuck you in." He mutters sleepily. "Don't apologize.. don't apologize, it's not your fault. You know I'm not mad." His whispers comfort you and make you feel worse at the same time, you didn't understand it. "I'm not mad, just worried. I could never be mad at you." He speaks softly, nudging you towards the open door of your bedroom.

You whimper and sniffle as he tucks you into bed, before getting back in himself and wrapping his arms around your waist. He leans in, whispering sweet nothing's in your ear, tracing shapes in your hip, telling you you're beautiful and it'll all be okay until you fall asleep.

When you wake up the next morning, Chuuya isn't there. He must've gone to work already. You see a small note on the bedside table next to you, and hesitantly pick it up to read its contents.

"Hey doll, I'm sorry I left for work before we could talk about this in-person, and I definitely have a plan to speak to you about it tonight. But I wanted to let you know I'm not mad at you, nor am I upset with you, I'm just concerned for your well-being and safety. I want to get you into some treatment program because I'm not trained in this, and I don't really know how to help. I know this isn't entirely about your weight or how your body looks, but baby believe me when I say you're beautiful. You are the most gorgeous girl I have ever laid my eyes on and I am so lucky to have you. You are not 'too much' and your emotional baggage is not too much for me to carry. Even if it was, it's worth it for a girl as sweet and caring as you.

Love, Chuuya"

You hold the note close to your chest and push yourself backwards into bed, draping the covers over yourself and falling back asleep with his letter held close.

#bsd x reader #bsd #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs #akutagawa x reader #akutagawa ryuunosuke x reader #akutagawa ryūnosuke x reader #ryuunosuke akutagawa x reader #ryūnosuke akutagawa x reader #akutagawa #Ryūnosuke Akutagawa #ryuunosuke akutagawa #chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #nakahara chuuya x reader #nakahara chūya x reader #chūya Nakahara x reader #chūya x reader #hurt/comfort #chuuya hurt/comfort #akutagawa hurt/comfort #chuuya #chūya

[savasavva]

kafka pls i'm beggin'

#bsd #dazai osamu #bungou stray dogs #skk #soukoku #soukouku #chuuya nakahara #dazai x chuuya #bungo stray dogs #last chapter #hurt/comfort #chapter 107 #bsd manga spoilers #gay reunion pls #my art

[lukall705]

Hii!! Can I req Chuuya x SH reader? Can be both angst and fluff, you don't have to tho if you don't wanna <3

𝓒𝓱𝓾𝓾𝔂𝓪 𝔁 𝓖𝓝! 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is another thing i didn't expect people to request, and it brings me so much comfort when i find sh comfort fanfics:(

If you are struggling with sh please know i'm always open to talk if you want:) and i'll try to comfort you to the best of my ability! (i'm usually not on here during the day so you can ask me for my discord in dms)

I'M SO SRRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO MAKE I REALLY NEEDED A BREAK SINCE I WAS SO STRESSED FROM SCHOOL 😭

Also, English isn't my first language so please dont mind any spelling errors!!

TW: SH, gore? Talk about fresh SH cuts, Might be ooc😓 please tell me if i missed anything!

Words: 1,3k

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sometimes in life things don't go the rigth way, is what people say, they say "sometimes in life things don't go the way we want, but thats just how it is"

But right now it felt like absolutely nothing was going the right way, you felt like the whole world was against you, like you were some useless peace of garbage that could be thrown out at anytime, like there was no one in this damn world that would sit down and listen to your pityfull problems. you were at your abselut worst.

And the only thing that could help the with it was the razor in your hand, which is cutting your thigh. you move almost like a robot, you don't even feel the pain of the razor anymore. everything seems like a dream, all the blood coming out of your cuts and dripping and mixing in with the water of the bathtub, your vision being slightly blury.

You can feel your heart pounding in your chest as you bring your razor to your Radial vein. you shake slightly as you look down at your wrist debating if you should cut it or not.

As you start breathing faster you look at the suicide note you left on the chair next to the bathtub. you wondered how long it would take for chuuya to find you, would he even care if you died?

you feel tears start to run down your face and you start to sniffle uncontrollably.

As you're about to cut the vein you hear a loud knock on the door, "[name]? baby are you in there..?" your boyfriend chuuya asks in a quiet voice.

You quickly wipe your tears and panic a bit as you didn't lock the door since you weren't expectinc chuuya to come home this early, "Y-yeah.." you say trying to not sound sad, but knowing chuuya he most likely heard the saddnes in your voice.

"Darling.. is something wrong..?" He asks in a conserned voice, "i'm just.. washing my hair" you try to come up with an exuse while your whole body is shaking. "Darling, you washed your hair yestarday tho? are you really okay in there..?"

'Damn i forgot about that' you think while trying to find a place to hide the razor. While you panic you some how bump into the soaps and knock them down making a loud noise. "Baby are you okay? i'm coming in" he says and opens the door, "NO WAIT!" but before you can stop him, he has already opened the door and seen your cuts.

.....

.....

After a few moments of silence and staring at each other, chuuya finally makes a move closer to you.

"...Chuuya.. please i'm sorr-.." You try to explain but your voice starts to shake and you feel a lump in your throat. "...shh.." He quitelly walks closer to you and wipes the small tears that have started to for in your eyes.

"...I'm so sorry.. i k-know i said i'd.. try to stay clean for you.. i tried my best.. i swear.. i'm sorry.. please.. p-please don't get mad.." You sob as more and more tears start falling from your eyes. Your vision is starting to blur from all the tears, so much so that you can't even see chuuya anymore.

"....shh... darling.. i would never be mad at you.. what could ever make you think that..? i understand how hard it is to recover from something like this.." He whispers into your ear while holding you close, not even caring about the blood staining his clothes.

All you can do is cry and cry, you cant even manage to answer his question, all that came out if your mouth were pityfull sobs and 'i'm so sorry'. Chuuyas shoulder was becoming wet form all the tears but he didn't mind, he would do anything just so that you could feel better.

After some time of Chuuya trying to comfort you and trying to get you to tell what happened, did you finally calm down slightly, just enough for you to able to answer his questions.

....

Chuuya starts washing your cuts gently, you both sit there in silence with the only sound beinf your small sniffles and some small choked sobs.

After a few seconds chuuya decides to break the slience, "..Darling, please.. what happened that made you relapce..?" he asks with a gentle tone while holding your shaking hands in his. For a moment you stay slient, wiping your tears. "...i... i-i've...", you say in a shaky voice trying to break out into a crying mess again. Right at this moment you didn't know what to say, you really didn't know how to say what made you do it.

"...take your time..", Chuuya's soft voice snaps you out of your trance, you feel his thumbs rubbing on top of your hands in a comforting way.

"...its hard to say.... i-i don't know how to put it into words..", you whisper, hoping chuuya wouldn't be mad. You're scared he'll be mad at your answer, scared he'll force you to talk, force you like your mother would always do. You remember the first time you relapsed she got mad and forced you to talk, even when you were crying.

"..thats fine.. its not always easy to put something like this into words.." Chuuya caressed your back in a comforting way, making you want to just cry, cry so hard and let everything out, everything that has been bothering you, all your worries and troubles. You felt so comfortable in his arms, like you were safe. "would writing it help?", he asks and runs his fingers through your hair.

You burry your face in his neck and nod, feeling him pick you up and carry you over to your bedroom. He gently puts you on the bed and you slightly whine from the stinging pain that came from your cuts, holding back your tears. '..i'm sucha an idiot..' you think while watching chuuya leave the room to go get paper.

....

Chuuya comes back after some time with a piece of paper and a pen. He gives you the stuff and sits down next to you while waiting for you to write on the paper.

You sit there for a second before starting to write about how you've been feeling really insecure about yourself and thinking that you arent enough for him and that he should be with someone else. Once you're done writing you hesitate to give the paper back to chuuya for a bit, but you decide to just do it.

Once its in Chuuyas hands, you look away embaressed about the thngs you wrote, hoping he wouldn't judge you for it.

After a bit of silence, chuuya finally says something, "Darling.. why didn't you tell me..? i could've helped you feel better.." He says quietly and you just look down ashamed feeling like everything is your fult. You knew you should have told him, maybe then you wouldn't be in so much pain at the moment.

You felt like you were about to cry again, you felt weak. You just wanted to lay down and forget about the world around you.

"...i was scared.. i'i was so scared you'd be mad at me..." Your voice breaks as you try to explain everything to him. Chuuya sit there with you in his arms listening to you with a worried look on his face.

"...darling i would never hate you.. you're the most important person in my life, i would never be mad at you for relapcing.." He says while stroking your hair and rocking back and forth slowly. you hug him tight, like your scared he'll be gonne once you let go of him.

For the rest of the night chuuya keeps you in his arms while he comforts you and tells you how much he loves you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grr the end was rushed 😓😓

Anyways, pleae give me some feedback, it really helps me when people tell me what i should try to be better at.

Do not repost this on any other website without asking me first and giving me credit!!

Requests: Closed for now

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #chuuya #chuuya nakahara #chuuya x reader #chuuya comfort #chuuya bsd #chuuya x you #chuuya angst #chuuya x reader angst #chuuya x gn reader #chuuya x fem!reader #chuuya x male reader #male reader #gn reader #fem reader #dazai osamu #dazai x reader #bsd comfort #hurt/comfort #sh #comfort #dazai comfort #bsd x reader smut #dazai smut #chuuya smut #bsd anime #bsd fanart #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai

[evilkaeya]

Got tired of being silly and decided to put Chuuya through immense mental breakdown. Read HERE and mind the TWs! Kudos and feedback are much appreciated :( <3

#first time writing hurt/comfort I almost died #never again <- lying #ok but hurt/no comfort is much easier to articulate than hurt/comfort #kudos to writers who write hurt/comfort all the time... you guys are incredible #skk #soukoku #my fic #bsd fic #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #nakahara chuuya #dazai osamu #skk fic

[saelique]

AND THEN I GO AND SPOIL IT ALL BY SAYING SOMETHING STUPID LIKE I LOVE YOU . . .

you knew he didn’t like you back. you really did. he cared for you. but not like a lover, but just a friend. it hurt a lot. but you didn’t want your relationship to end, of course you wouldn’t. he was your closest friend for exactly five years.

but you just let it slip. and with those three stupid words and eight letters, your relationship crumbled.

from days of laughter and late nights staying up talking to each other turned into days of awkward silence and emptiness. I’m so sorry for saying that. you texted him one night, half awake with tear stains on your face before you dropped back asleep.

he didn’t reply, and the text was left on delivered for weeks. until finally one day, you see that he finally read your text. and you see him replying, holding your phone tightly to prep yourself for what he was about to say. and all of a sudden, it stops and he’s gone again.

you immediately try and text him back, but the next thing that you see makes your heart drop and break into a million pieces.

this user has blocked you

basically any character ! > <

#౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆ : novels ! #bsd x reader #x you #bsd x you Angst #dazai x you #dazai x reader angst #no comfort #Bsd x reader no comfort #bllk x reader #bllk x you #nagi x reader #Chuuya x reader #chuuya x you #genshin x you #jjk x reader #jjk x reader angst #jjk x you angst #aventurine x reader angst #Hsr x you angst #x reader angst no comfort #dazai x reader unrequited love #X reader unrequited love #fun fact : da msg was in fact sent by ur cinna ! > < #s’ now u dnt ‘ave 2 ask who da heck hurt me !! :D

[ravencincaide]

We need to talk 

Summary: You assume the worst; after all why else would your partner utter those four cursed words OR Sometimes there is no easy way to have a difficult discussion but one could always take a more human approach towards it.

Pairing Dazai x Fem! Reader X Chuuya (SKK x fem!reader) 

Inspired by request by anon: A more alternative, very stand-alone part two for “Desperate times call for Desperate measures” where the boys realize how much their actions have hurt the reader

Warnings: Depression/ hint at postpartum depression, hint at bad eating habits, very mild sexual hint, cursing, hurt comfort

Enjoy~ ______________________________________________________________

“ We need to talk” 

When you heard those words your heart flopped to your stomach; the bitter, icky taste of bile filled your mouth. You froze mid-motion, somewhere halfway between straight and bent over towards the crib, about to place the newly nursed and sleepy boy-child beside his already napping twin sister. Your hands began to shake, so much so that you almost dropped the child the last half a meter to the soft mattress of his crib. 

“ W-what?” you gasped out, your eyes flickered towards his voice. But Dazai was almost completely out of your field of vision. Even as you craned your neck you could only catch a glimpse of him, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. 

“ Put him down for his nap and we’ll talk downstairs” Dazai replied, his voice soft, but you doubted it was more for your sake than the snoozing children. 

You swallowed thickly and turned back to the two babies. Your heart was beating a million miles an hour. A part of you desperately wanted to pick those two back up into your arms and shut the door on Dazai. To shut away all the issues and imperfections and just rock your children close to your body. Hold them until the world stopped spinning. When did it all become so difficult?

– Another part of you hated them. The twins that seemed to hold every ounce of Dazai and Chuuya’s love, leaving none left over for you. 

You wondered if you’d still be together if it weren’t for the twins. 

The thought made you shudder. Your thoughts drifted back to the four words that brought on this level of anxiety in you. We need to talk. In your mind there is only one reason for you to hear those words. And you knew you were not ready to face that reality- what person- woman would? When you’ve put so many years towards your relationship; celebrated so many achievements, mourned so many sacrifices, the joys of parenthood and the struggles of being partners. All of it. The good and the bad. 

Your eyes flickered down to your ring finger and you felt tears well up in your eyes. A part of you wondered if that was the reason why they never married you- never even offered. Because then ending things would be so much easier. Though, rationally, you guessed everything good had to come to an end. With or without a ring. 

Setting the child back down in the crib you pulled the blanket over the twins. Your fingers brushing against their cheeks with featherlight touches. You bit your lip as you felt a tear roll down your cheeks. Then you pulled your hands away and wiped your cheeks, steadying your nerves. 

You were not going to give him- them- the satisfaction of seeing you cry. 

Once you felt your icy mask of professionalism slip into place, you finally turned to face Dazai. With quick steps you headed out of the room. He closed the door behind you quietly then began walking downstairs, hands in his pockets. He looked relaxed, casual even.You followed, keeping half a step behind him. Not close enough so your shoulders would bump, but close enough to show that you were ready to face whatever unpleasant excuses he was going to throw in your face. You held your head high, proud and confident. 

But was that actually true? A little voice in your head whispered. Were you really so certain in yourself and your own ability to hide your emotion that you would be able to out-lie the great Osamu Dazai.  More importantly, would you really be able to remain calm and just stand and listen as the two most important men in your life listed all the things wrong with you. All the reasons why you weren’t- and would never be- good enough. 

You stopped mid step, halfway between the messy living room of childrens toys, feeding bottles, diapers and clothes scattered around without any care, and just around the corner from the kitchen and the kitchen table where you had planned to spend the rest of the evening, working to wrap up whatever work you had left in your partners departments. The work you took over while your so-called lovers were two months abroad god-knows-where doing god-knows-what. Once the finalities were fixed, you’d be able to create a report of everything that occurred in the departments during their absence; the decisions you made and suggestions you’d advise for the future. All to make the transition into their respective roles as smooth as possible. At least that had been your plan earlier tonight. A foolish, meaningless plan that was masqueraded as helping them with work when in reality it was just a facade for you to feel useful. T ofeel connected to work. 

A woman- not just a mother. 

From the corner of your eye you could see the clock on the wall gently swaying with each tick-tack sound. A reminder that the screw it hung on would give away at any moment now. Once it would finally let go, the clock would crash to the ground, the glass shattering and the hourhands stopping at whatever doomed time it happened. You hoped it happened soon- maybe even as you passed it. Shaking your head you sighed and ran a hand through your hair, a defeated expression on your face. “ Dazai I understand, you don’t need to say anything I am sorry for whatever and –” 

“-Belladonna, you’re not getting out of this talk” Dazai stated matter of factly. “ so please keep walking”

He was curt with you. Short and straight to the point. Nothing shy of an order- a veiled threat that reminded you of your place. Shuddering slightly, you started walking again, resembling a scolded puppy rather than a confident mafioso partner and mother of their children. Your gaze was focused on the floor as you followed Dazai into the kitchen where you heard Chuuya shuffling about. With each step, the geers in your head kept turning, filling you with deeper dread and anxiety. With questions you needed to ask and were terrified of knowing the answer to. 

Suddenly, you snapped out of your daze as a sweet scent filled your senses, one that wasn’t unfamiliar despite the fact that you hadn’t smelled in months. Your eyes left Dazai’s back as he took a seat at one of the kitchen chairs and searched for the source of that fragrance. Then your eyes widened in surprise as you saw a vase with flowers standing right in the middle of the kitchen table. Beside your computer and all the files and other paperwork you prepared. You frowned a little, confused. Why were there flowers? 

“ Is there something wrong with getting flowers for my precious partner?” You frowned a little at the statement, definitely thrown off guard. 

“ What’s the matter, is the smell giving you a headache?” Chuuya asked, tone worried as he emerged from the kitchen with a large platter of fruit, primarily berries and sweet tropical ones, which he set down on the table as close to you as possible before disappearing back into the kitchen.

 “You must be hungry Bella, try some” When you didn’t move closer, Dazai wrapped a cold hand around your wrist and tugged you towards himself until you landed awkwardly in his lap. He chuckled at you, his hot breath hitting your ear as his arm came to wrap itself around your waist. He was holding you closely- tightly- leaving you barely any room to get comfortable, let alone stand up and leave. Ignoring your discomfort, Dazai picked a grape of the vine and offered it to you. When you ignored it he popped it between his lips, smiling as the sweet juice filled his senses. “ ahhh they’re sweet, like cotton candy, you should eat it” he urged you again. 

You just frowned more and crossed your arms over your chest, ignoring him and his attempt at feeding you. Your eyes were focused on Chuuya re-emerging from the kitchen, several bowls levitating around him. Then your face flushed slightly as whipped cream and several types of chocolate were placed in front of you by the berries. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, this time for an entirely different reason “ Whipped cream? Chocolate? Now?” you questioned your mind drifting back to what happened the last time that combination appeared between the three of you; the result were the twins.

Following your trail of thought Dazai chuckled and rested his head on your shoulder, arms slightly tighter around your waist; “ Bella as much as I’d love to ravish you now until you lose your voice and can’t walk; you aren’t ready yet” 

His words made you deadpan slightly; “ Dazai, I’m not a virgin. I’m more than “ready” for sex” You comment made him chuckle humorlessly as he pressed a kiss to your shoulder. 

“ You’ve had a tough delivery with a long hospital stay and then two months of utter hell, alone, with twins while juggling our work and managing the house.” another kiss, this one to the spot right where your shirt met your neck. “ You haven’t healed physically, you’re exhausted and tense mentally and we’ve neglected our partner duties for a while now.” 

Chuuya sighed heavily at Dazai’s words as he sat down on the chair beside you, his body and attention turned entirely towards you. He reached forward to a pitted cherry and dipped it in the tiniest bit of dark chocolate before bringing it up to your lips.“ Sweetheart, please eat something. Jokes aside you’ve barely gotten anything into you.” 

You huffed at Chuuya and rolled your eyes refusing the fruit until you’d know what the hell those two were playing at; “I eat, and I’m not all that hungry and also take vitamins to make sure that the milk is nutritious and the doctor check ups have gone—”

“ –Baby it’s not about the twins!” Chuuya’s rough and loud voice startled you, making a wave of guilt and sadness wash over you. You took a shaky breath, not understanding why he was suddenly so– so 

” Shit, shh sorry sweetheart,” Chuuya’s hands wore on either side of your face, stroking your cheeks and catching any and all tears you’d spill. His blue eyes stared seriously into yours. There wasn’t an ounce of humour or lies on his face, just worry and a hint of guilt “ Both me and Dazai know you’re a wonderful mother- a superwoman and while away we knew the twins would be more than well taken care of. You on the other hand are a different story.” 

“ Belladonna for once there’s no hidden agenda or clause. Just two idiots trying to make up for lost time. Will you let us?” Dazai pressed another kiss to your shoulder as Chuuya gave you a half sad- half hopeful smile before once again raising the chocolate covered cherry to your lips. You parted them for him slightly. Carefully he pushed it in your mouth, smearing the tiniest bit of chocolate and cherry on your upper lip, which he wiped off with his thumb. Then he brought it to his mouth and gave a lick. 

“ hmm they’re not as sweet as I thought, how about some milk or white chocolate doll?” Chuuya grinned as he prepared several cherries in different chocolate combinations.

Oh how could you say no to that? 

For every berry you ate, you saw Chuuya’s grin grow wider and wider. It looked as if he was ready to jump out of his seat and cheer the second the cherry landed past your lips while Dazai pressed more and more kisses to your clothes. 

After a while your eyes landed on a sheet of paper near your computer “ What’s that?” You asked, your eyes flickering towards an unfamiliar table hand drawn with columns and times. The glint in Dazai’s eyes told you, you shouldn’t have asked. 

“This is Dazai’s getting-Y/N-back-to-regular-eating plan- So tonight we start with berries and chocolate- stuff you’ve always been a sucker for Belladonna. Then tomorrow it will be cooked rice for breakfast with steamed vegetables and if you can manage than a bowl of miso and then for lunch–” Dazai rambled on, pointing out different times and the variety of dishes, snacks and back up snacks he planned to make sure you would go back to the regular three-times a day eating healthy and balanced meals. 

In the meantime Chuuya fed you chocolate and cream covered fruit one by one, the only time he’d pause was whenever he’d purposefully smear a bit of the sweet treat on your lips and kiss it off; a silent request for you to just relax and let them take care of your for a change. 

The sign of affection made you smile and helped ease some of your anxiety. You weren’t going to be fooled into believing that this was honestly done for your sake and not the twins. And that they didn’t have some kind of agenda behind their actions. Still you’d rather cling to any scraps of attention they spare for you than face the bitter truth of what your relationship has become.

For now.  ---

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