awoogayanderes

[awoogayanderes]

what if i just give convergence of two opposites ! reader an ending where she just turns into a fucking flower and dazai plants it next to her grave

( in no way is this story done, my mind was just going brrr last night )

#written by terra #bsd #convergence of two opposites

[awoogayanderes]

it takes the comfort of one person

➪ pairing : post pm ! osamu dazai x reader

➪ sypnosis : the sins of the past don’t always determine someone’s soul

➪ other notes : i have so many ideas but i genuinely don’t know how to write them out, but here you guys go :3

“do you think i’m a bad person ?” dazai asks you, his eyes staring into yours.

“what’s this about ?” you respond, lighting a cigarette, hands trembling in the dark.

“just thinking,” he says, “well don’t,” you sigh at the young man in front of you.

you can tell this affected him by the awkward silence he returns, looking away from you.

you sigh, "the trauma you experienced is very real, and and what that man had you do isn’t okay...but that doesn’t make you an angel either,” you say, an attempt to comfort him.

dazai doesn’t say anything, his fingers grabbing your cigarette, holding it up to his lips.

“and that’s okay, if you can recognize your own actions, you are the furthest from a bad person you can get,” you continue with a soft tone.

when you turned to look at dazai, for the first time in all the years you’ve known him, you saw a light shine in his eyes.

#written by terra #sincerely terra #bsd #bsd manga #bsd x reader #bsd manga spoilers #bungou stray dogs #dazai x reader #osamu dazai x reader #engraved with hope #dazai #dazai bungou stray dogs #dazai bsd #dazai osamu x reader #bsd dazai #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai angst #dazai fluff #dazai x y/n #dazai x you #osamu dazai angst #pm! dazai x reader #port mafia dazai x reader #dazai osamu #this was kinda a fic for myself

[awoogayanderes]

chapter six : you did as you were told

➪ sypnosis : you’re much more aware of things than what the doctor believed you were

➪ other notes : hi guys :3 here’s a new chapter, i didn’t like how it turned out but this is also kinda like a filler chapter that builds up afterwards, need reader with some trauma. also reader might seem a bit dramatic BUT PLS REMEMBER THAT SHES LITERALLY 13 IN THIS.

➪ warnings : manipulation, MORI IS A HOE !!!! ( as always )

➪ prologue | chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four | chapter five | chapter six

you didn’t have anything to do, boredom often consumed you. so, on most days when your chores were completed, you pass your time outside. maybe even wandering on the outskirts of yokohama, memorizing the path back home easily. mori didn’t really care, well he didn’t notice much when he was caring for the old man you no longer saw.

you hummed quietly as you returned home, picking up a newspaper from a trash can. “rise of the armed detective agency” blah blah, “more violence on the streets” blah blah, “the sheep strike again.” now that interested you. how shameful it is that such a violent group is named after a docile animal.

shaking your head, you throw the newspaper back into another trash can. when you get to the doctor’s house, there’s a slight hesitation when you place your hand on the door knob. nevertheless, there was no other place for you to go. the door creaks, the hinges on their last life. when you walk into the kitchen, you can see the doctor surrounded in papers.

“how was your day, dear ?” the doctor asks as he looks up. “fine, how was yours ?” you ask, already wondering why he was home. “same old, same old,” he says. “why are you here early ?” your thoughts become dialogue. “he wants to be alone,” mori says, knowing what you’re indicating. you hum in response.

“can he can think properly ?” you ask. the doctor shakes his head, “pity isn’t it ?” a scoff leaves your lips by accident. “he should still be able to be conscious of his thoughts, he’s not schizophrenic,” you say, furrowing your eyebrows. mori parts his lips before giving you a smile, but there was an uncomfortable curve of his lips that made you shut your mouth.

“my, my, how lovely it is to see you pay such attention to keen details,” mori says. you don’t say anything, you felt, almost scared. no, not almost, you were scared. “what are you doing to him ?” you quietly ask. “me ? nothing,” he says, a calm tone on his words. “how much longer does he actually have ?” you ask.

“a month,” the doctor sighs. your lips part as a small gasp leaves your lips. “you’re destroying his brain…?” you ask, almost hesitantly. you knew that the doctor wasn’t…well not a good doctor but all doctors save lives don’t they ?! “he asked about you the other day, he believed you were his daughter,” the doctor sighed, still not answering your question.

“you told me…you have told me that death comes naturally, that doctors should never be the cause of death,” you say, courage taking over you. “but you’re who’s killing him, my dear, you’re the one who supplied the medicine, you started the process,” mori says, standing up, and that’s when you freeze.

you ? a soon to be murderer ? but you just did what you were ordered to do in your time with him, give the boss the same medication every day. the doctor grabs your hands, holding them in his own before leaning down. “his blood is on your hands.” he whispers, meeting eye to eye with you. not realizing you’re shaking, the doctor lets go of your cold hands and stands up to his normal height, still in front of you.

“you did as you were told, but you are still at fault here, you are the reason he will die,” mori says, looking down at your smaller frame, yours eyes wide. you feel your heart in your throat, you only wanted to comply with what the doctor said, nothing more, nothing less. yet you were to blame, yet you ARE to blame.

“have a pleasant rest of your evening, my dear,” the doctor says, leaving you in the middle of the kitchen, in the same position with your hands out, it was as if you were frozen. you could only see the sun slowly droop and the night sky reigned, as you thought to yourself in misery. you only did as you were told.

#written by terra #sincerely terra #bsd #bungou stray dogs #osamu dazai x reader #dazai x reader #bsd manga #bsd x reader #bsd manga spoilers #bsd dazai #bsd anime #dazai bsd #bsd mori ougai #bsd mori #bsd spoilers #bsd fic #bsd imagines #bsd angst #bsd hurt comfort

[awoogayanderes]

WHAT IN THE ACTUAL ASS.

IM SORRY BUT THAT FYODOR THING GENUINELY CREEPED ME THE FUCK OUT

pov : asagiri is allergic to killing off characters

( he’s not tryna be like gege 💀 )

#written by terra #WTH ?!?! #bsd spoilers #bsd manga spoilers #bsd manga spoiler #bsd fyodor dostoevsky

[awoogayanderes]

ARE PEOPLE ACTUALLY DOING THIS ?!

that is so…💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

why are some tumblr writers becoming so fucking entitled?💀 like why are basically forcing people to reblog your work? Talking about "Only likes will be blocked" just don't post your shit at this point lmaooo 😭😭

#written by terra #WHAT. #just write your damn fanfic and move on with your day…

[awoogayanderes]

in this life, we both die

➪ pairing : fyodor dostoyevsky x reader

➪ sypnosis : you prepare him for his death

➪ other notes : YALL KNOW I HAD TO DO IT. IDEC IF THIS FLOPS RAHHH, this is also like another take for what fyodor truly knows about his different lives ? this is trash but i had to write something…

“you are to impale him with your spears at dawn as the rooster crows !” lord bram yelled out. “yes my lord !” the knights said. “you know what to do,” lord bram says, turning to face you. “yes my lord,” you nod, bowing down. you nod for the guards to unchain the man in front of you, before they follow lord bram out.

you let a heavy sigh, but nevertheless grab your basket of what you’d call toiletries. “sit,” you simply say, hinting for the man to kneel down on the floor. “it’s quite dirty,” he says. “you’ll be dead in a few hours, what does it matter,” you say, kneeling down first. “who are you ?” the man asks, kneeling down in front of you.

“i’m a maid for my lord…but i try to make those who my lord punishes, comfortable before they’re executed,” you say, grabbing a rag before dumping it into a bucket of water next to you. “so you take pity on those like me ?” he asks, eyes peering at your every action. you cracked a smile, “you could say that,” you say.

wringing out the rag, you lean forward into the man, patting it on his face. “what’s your name ?” you ask, focused on the man’s porcelain skin. “what’s yours ?” he rebuttals. “i asked first,” he almost cracks a smirk. “fyodor…fyodor dostoyevsky,” despite you having never heard that name before, chills run up your spine. “my name is y/n l/n,” you simply say.

“you mentioned you were a maid, why ?” fyodor asks, as you use another rag to wet his hair. “my mother used to work for my lord,” you say, not having much of a care, he was going to die, what was the point of withholding secrets ? “she has passed ?” the man asks. your eye slightly twitches, “you talk a lot for someone who’s going to die,” the man only smiles.

“you aren’t here by coincidence,” the man suddenly says. you pause, looking at his face. “are you some type of fortune teller ? my lord detest those, a nutcase told him he was to turn into a sword,” you shake your head. “you’re my wife in a future life,” he says and you suck in a breath. “i’m not fond of men who have a foot in the casket,” you say, shaking your head.

“seven days after i am executed, you will plummet to your death,” fyodor says and that’s when you finally retract your hand. “my job here is done, goodnight sir dostoyevsky,” you say getting up, before wiping your hands. the man could only smirk at your flee to the cellar door, before leaving in a rush.

you wouldn’t have taken that comment so seriously if it weren’t for that same fortune teller that your lord had contracted, telling you that you would die within a few weeks, falling to your death just like your mother did all those years ago. you couldn’t help but feel suffocated by the thought, you wouldn’t let it be real.

#written by terra #sincerely terra #engraved with tenderness #engraved with bitterness #bsd #bsd x reader #bsd manga #bsd manga spoilers #bungou stray dogs #fyodor dostoyevsky x reader #bsd fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #bungou stray dogs fyodor #fyodor #fyodor angst #fyodor x reader #bsd fyodor #fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor fluff #fyodor x you

[awoogayanderes]

okay so heres some panels from chapter 113 of bsd AKA the new chapter

I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS RN.

SO MY POOKIE SIGMA IS ALIVE, THAT PART OF MY OLD THEORY IS CORRECT, THAT HE WAS STILL MIMIS BECAUSE HE WAS PROCESSING ALL THE INFORMATION

talking about that, how is sigma actually alive…? because fyodor even confirmed it ??? was it just to mess with nikolai as i guess a last fuck you ? like i don’t get it

so fedya obviously looks the EXACT same in another era, my question is, is he immortal ? or does he know about his past lives ?

because maybe a chapter or two before this one, he stated that dazai was one of his strongest foes since “that man”

and obviously in our minds, we thought there was someone before dazai in THAT lifetime, but now it has opened up endless possibilities

and now it’s like, what were fyodor’s intentions before ? did his goals ever change ? does he ever technically die ?!?!

we’ll probably have to wait a while until we know the answer to any of these questions, but i will definitely keep you updated

#written by terra #bsd #bsd manga spoiler #bsd spoilers #bsd anime #dazai bsd #bsd fyodor dostoevsky #bsd manga #bsd chuuya #sigma bsd

[awoogayanderes]

YALL APPARENTLY FEDYA IS ALIVE ????

I HAVENT READ BSD BUT I’LL BRB AND LET YOU GUYS KNOW.

#written by terra #bsd #WHAT.

[awoogayanderes]

to repay his sins

➪ pairing : osamu dazai x reader

➪ warnings : SUICIDE. ( was more horror than um actually a fanfic but anyways… )

➪ sypnosis : you’re the love of his life, someone he can’t fathom even exists

➪ other notes : will this flop ? probably…

dazai is so in love with you, teenage love was the one thing that was his salvation.

he liked you how much shorter you were than him, he loved how he could make fun of you.

he liked that you could understand him, but he hated how much you disliked yourself.

he liked how you made everything around him so bright. but he hated how dull your eyes were.

then he started noticing. he started noticing how you’d act, how you’d shut yourself in.

how you wouldn’t comb your hair anymore, how your lips became chapped and stale.

he starts hating the way you slowly adapted his diet and drinking habits.

he hates the way you’ve changed, as if you were a butterfly with its wings torn off.

then he comes visit you one day, he realizes you’re finally taller than him.

he only stared up at your body, cold and flimsy from the rope that’s tied around your neck.

#written by terra #sincerely terra #engraved with bitterness #bsd #bsd x reader #bsd manga #bsd manga spoilers #bungou stray dogs #dazai x reader #osamu dazai x reader #dazai bungou stray dogs #dazai bsd #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai #dazai osamu x reader #bsd dazai #dazai imagines #dazai angst #dazai osamu #dazai fluff #dazai x y/n #dazai x you #osamu dazai angst

[awoogayanderes]

as to when i’m writing again, genuinely depends on my schedule and when i’m free

IM LIKE HALFWAY THROUGH WRITING A NEW CONVERGENCE CHAPTER BUT IDK HOW TO WRITE THE OTHER HALF

also, i lowkey wanna write for haikyuu but idk if it’s worth it…?

BECAUSE MY BRAND IS LITERALLY BSD. 98% of my posts that are liked everyday ARE BSD POSTS.

and if i’m recognized at all, i’d be described as a bsd writer… because that’s all i’ve consistently been posting for the past two years

#written by terra #bsd

[awoogayanderes]

not to mention, i’m someone who doesn’t have a lot of friends because i’m not good with being social and i get overwhelmed easily

my friends whom i talk to everyday consist of less than 10 people

and yet they’re the people who make me happy, who made my shitty day just a bit better

#written by terra #be with people who make you happy #have hope in yourself #have faith in yourself

[awoogayanderes]

hey guys !!

so as a few of y’all know, i’ve had a really difficult time just being in the right mental state for almost couple of months now

today was genuinely one of the worst days i’ve had in months

i feel almost trapped, and today it just got to me, but i also realized something

being with the right couple of people, helped improve my mood, and i think that’s a life lesson everyone should learn

BE WITH PEOPLE WHO MAKE YOU HAPPY.

#written by terra #tomorrow is a new day :) #be with people who make you happy #BE WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE.

[awoogayanderes]

happy valentines terra !! i hope you’re well <3

i’m so sorry for answering late, but happy late valentines day to you too ava <33

i’m doing much better now !! i think i’ll start to write again soon :3

#written by terra #mwa ava

[awoogayanderes]

OKAY LAST POST

my social anxiety has progressively gotten worse these past few months

but at the same time, i suck ass at texting and replying to people ???

LIKE HOW CAN I STRUGGLE WITH TALKING TO PEOPLE IRL AND TO PEOPLE ONLINE

i text maybe 2 or 3 people daily and even then, i don’t respond as often because i’m normally in my own world

i know that sounds corny but in order to keep me from breaking down every week, i need my own time, just completely disconnect myself

i think i’m at a point in my life where i can consider myself mentally healthy but that’s because i’m alone and that’s my choice

okay i’m actually going to sleep now, goodnight guys, i love you guys :)

#written by terra #womp womp #eepy thoughts

[awoogayanderes]

also, i’ve been getting so much work from my classes that it’s genuinely so exhausting

i feel like my mind is filled with so many ideas to write especially with dazai, but then again when do i not write about dazai

got off topic but i feel like my mind can explode with thoughts and yet when i go to type a fic, my mind just goes blank.

does that happen to anyone else ?! maybe i’m burned out from everything which is very possible but it really sucks

BECAUSE I WANT TO WRITE I JUST CANT

not to mention, my physical help hasn’t been the best either, i have very bad lower back pain and it’s gotten worse this past week

that being said, i’m halfway done writing chapter 6 for convergence of opposites, so i hope to get it done by the end of the month ??

i’ll probably make one more post of me yapping before disappearing for like a week, see you guys soon :33

#written by terra #hai guys #it’s like 2 am and my mind is just KABOOOMMMM

[awoogayanderes]

im gonna sound so dumb saying this but

PEOPLE ON TUMBLR ACTUALLY HAVE DRAMA ?!?!

like i was so shocked when i found out that people aren’t just chill on here because i’ve personally had no drama with anyone in my 3 years of being here ( better not jinx it. )

BUT LIKE WHY CANT WE ALL JUST GET ALONG, just read our silly fanfics whilst kicking our feet up and move on with life, yk ?!?!

i just had to get that out of my system, i was too surprised to not say anything

#written by terra #WHY CANT WE JUST ALL GET ALONG #literally read some smut or some angst and move on

[awoogayanderes]

sorry for no posts or updates yall

i had a fallout with my best friend and i’n no longer friends with them, i haven’t been able to process shit so i’ve basically been drowning myself in school work

my coping mechanism is being a workaholic, which then becomes a pain in the ass

i’m hoping i post something this weekend which i probably will but we’ll see

i just wanted to post this little message to remind everyone that we’re all humans and we all have different feelings and different ways to cope, love you guys <3

#written by terra #<3