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yourgirlsamy · 14 days

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very very meow meow

NARRATOR: (Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard) According to all known laws of aviation, : there is no way a bee should be able to fly. : Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. : The bee, of course, flies anyway : because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. BARRY BENSON: (Barry is picking out a shirt) Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. : Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. JANET BENSON: Barry! Breakfast is ready! BARRY: Coming! : Hang on a second. (Barry uses his antenna like a phone) : Hello? ADAM FLAYMAN: (Through phone) - Barry? BARRY: - Adam? ADAM: - Can you believe this is happening? BARRY: - I can't. I'll pick you up. (Barry flies down the stairs) : MARTIN BENSON: Looking sharp. JANET: Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. BARRY: Sorry. I'm excited. MARTIN: Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. : A perfect report card, all B's. JANET: Very proud. (Rubs Barry's hair) BARRY= Ma! I got a thing going here. JANET: - You got lint on your fuzz. BARRY: - Ow! That's me! JANET: - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! (Barry flies out the door) JANET: Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! (Barry drives through the hive,and is waved at by Adam who is reading a newspaper) BARRY== - Hey, Adam. ADAM: - Hey, Barry. (Adam gets in Barry's car) : - Is that fuzz gel? BARRY: - A little. Special day, graduation. ADAM: Never thought I'd make it. (Barry pulls away from the house and continues driving) BARRY: Three days grade school, three days high school... ADAM: Those were awkward. BARRY: Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. ADAM== You did come back different. (Barry and Adam pass by Artie, who is jogging) ARTIE: - Hi, Barry! BARRY: - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. ADAM: - Hear about Frankie? BARRY: - Yeah. ADAM== - You going to the funeral? BARRY: - No, I'm not going to his funeral. : Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. : Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. ADAM: I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. (The car does a barrel roll on the loop-shaped bridge and lands on the highway) : I love this incorporating an amusement park into our regular day. BARRY: I guess that's why they say we don't need vacations. (Barry parallel parks the car and together they fly over the graduating students) Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. (Barry and Adam sit down and put on their hats) : - Well, Adam, today we are men. ADAM: - We are! BARRY= - Bee-men. =ADAM= - Amen! BARRY AND ADAM: Hallelujah! (Barry and Adam both have a happy spasm) ANNOUNCER: Students, faculty, distinguished bees, : please welcome Dean Buzzwell. DEAN BUZZWELL: Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... : ...9: : That concludes our ceremonies. : And begins your career at Honex Industries! ADAM: Will we pick our job today? (Adam and Barry get into a tour bus) BARRY= I heard it's just orientation. (Tour buses rise out of the ground and the students are automatically loaded into the buses) TOUR GUIDE: Heads up! Here we go. ANNOUNCER: Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. BARRY: - Wonder what it'll be like? ADAM: - A little scary. TOUR GUIDE== Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco : and a part of the Hexagon Group. Barry: This is it! BARRY AND ADAM: Wow. BARRY: Wow. (The bus drives down a road an on either side are the Bee's massive complicated Honey-making machines) TOUR GUIDE: We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life : to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. : Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. : Our top-secret formula : is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured : into this soothing sweet syrup : with its distinctive golden glow you know as... EVERYONE ON BUS: Honey! (The guide has been collecting honey into a bottle and she throws it into the crowd on the bus and it is caught by a girl in the back) ADAM: - That girl was hot. BARRY: - She's my cousin! ADAM== - She is? BARRY: - Yes, we're all cousins. ADAM: - Right. You're right. TOUR GUIDE: - At Honex, we constantly strive : to improve every aspect of bee existence. : These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. (The bus passes by a Bee wearing a helmet who is being smashed into the ground with fly-swatters, newspapers and boots. He lifts a thumbs up but you can hear him groan) : ADAM== - What do you think he makes? BARRY: - Not enough. TOUR GUIDE: Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. (They pass by a turning wheel with Bees standing on pegs, who are each wearing a finger-shaped hat) Barry: - Wow, What does that do? TOUR GUIDE: - Catches that little strand of honey : that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. ADAM: (Intrigued) Can anyone work on the Krelman? TOUR GUIDE: Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. : But choose carefully : because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. (Everyone claps except for Barry) BARRY: The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. ADAM: What's the difference? TOUR GUIDE: You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off : in 27 million years. BARRY: (Upset) So you'll just work us to death? : We'll sure try. (Everyone on the bus laughs except Barry. Barry and Adam are walking back home together) ADAM: Wow! That blew my mind! BARRY: "What's the difference?" How can you say that? : One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. ADAM: I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. BARRY: But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? ADAM: Why would you question anything? We're bees. : We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. BARRY: You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? ADAM: Like what? Give me one example. (Barry and Adam stop walking and it is revealed to the audience that hundreds of cars are speeding by and narrowly missing them in perfect unison) BARRY: I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. ANNOUNCER: Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. BARRY: Wait a second. Check it out. (The Pollen jocks fly in, circle around and landing in line) : - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! ADAM: - Wow. : I've never seen them this close. BARRY: They know what it's like outside the hive. ADAM: Yeah, but some don't come back. GIRL BEES: - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! (The Pollen Jocks hook up their backpacks to machines that pump the nectar to trucks, which drive away) LOU LO DUVA: You guys did great! : You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! (Punching the Pollen Jocks in joy) I love it! ADAM: - I wonder where they were. BARRY: - I don't know. : Their day's not planned. : Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. : You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. ADAM== Right. (Barry and Adam are covered in some pollen that floated off of the Pollen Jocks) BARRY: Look at that. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. ADAM: It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. BARRY: Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. (Barry waves at 2 girls standing a little away from them) ADAM== Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? BARRY: Distant. Distant. POLLEN JOCK #1: Look at these two. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Couple of Hive Harrys. POLLEN JOCK #1: - Let's have fun with them. GIRL BEE #1: It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. BARRY: Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! : He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! (Slaps Adam with his hand to represent his scenario) GIRL BEE #2: - Oh, my! BARRY: - I never thought I'd knock him out. GIRL BEE #1: (Looking at Adam) What were you doing during this? ADAM: Obviously I was trying to alert the authorities. BARRY: I can autograph that. (The pollen jocks walk up to Barry and Adam, they pretend that Barry and Adam really are pollen jocks.) POLLEN JOCK #1: A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? BARRY: Yeah. Gusty. POLLEN JOCK #1: We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. BARRY: - Six miles, huh? ADAM: - Barry! POLLEN JOCK #2: A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. BARRY: - Maybe I am. ADAM: - You are not! POLLEN JOCK #1: We're going 0900 at J-Gate. : What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? BARRY: I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. (The scene cuts to Barry looking out on the hive-city from his balcony at night) MARTIN: Hey, Honex! BARRY: Dad, you surprised me. MARTIN: You decide what you're interested in? BARRY: - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. : Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? MARTIN: Son, let me tell you about stirring. : You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. : You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. BARRY: You know, Dad, the more I think about it, : maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. MARTIN: You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? : That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. : Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! JANET: - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. BARRY: - I'm not trying to be funny. MARTIN: You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! JANET: - You're gonna be a stirrer? BARRY: - No one's listening to me! MARTIN: Wait till you see the sticks I have. BARRY: I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! (Barry's parents don't listen to him and continue to ramble on) MARTIN: Let's open some honey and celebrate! BARRY: Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. : Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! JANET: I'm so proud. (The scene cuts to Barry and Adam waiting in line to get a job) ADAM: - We're starting work today! BARRY: - Today's the day. ADAM: Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. BARRY: Yeah, right. JOB LISTER: Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Is it still available? JOB LISTER: - Hang on. Two left! : One of them's yours! Congratulations! Step to the side. ADAM: - What'd you get? BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Picking crud out. Stellar! (He walks away) ADAM: Wow! JOB LISTER: Couple of newbies? ADAM: Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! JOB LISTER: Make your choice. (Adam and Barry look up at the job board. There are hundreds of constantly changing panels that contain available or unavailable jobs. It looks very confusing) ADAM: - You want to go first? BARRY: - No, you go. ADAM: Oh, my. What's available? JOB LISTER: Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. ADAM: - Any chance of getting the Krelman? JOB LISTER: - Sure, you're on. (Puts the Krelman finger-hat on Adam's head) (Suddenly the sign for Krelman closes out) : I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. (Takes Adam's hat off) Wax monkey's always open. ADAM: The Krelman opened up again. : What happened? JOB LISTER: A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. : Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. : Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! ADAM: Oh, this is so hard! (Barry remembers what the Pollen Jock offered him and he flies off) Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, : humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, : mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? (Adam turns around and sees Barry flying away) : Barry! POLLEN JOCK: All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... ADAM: (Through phone) What happened to you? Where are you? BARRY: - I'm going out. ADAM: - Out? Out where? BARRY: - Out there. ADAM: - Oh, no! BARRY: I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. ADAM: You're gonna die! You're crazy! (Barry hangs up) Hello? POLLEN JOCK #2: Another call coming in. : If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd : that gets their roses today. BARRY: Hey, guys. POLLEN JOCK #1 == - Look at that. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? LOU LO DUVA: Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. POLLEN JOCK #1: It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. (Puts hand on Barry's shoulder) LOU LO DUVA: (To Barry) Really? Feeling lucky, are you? BEE WITH CLIPBOARD: (To Barry) Sign here, here. Just initial that. : - Thank you. LOU LO DUVA: - OK. : You got a rain advisory today, : and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. : So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, : hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. : Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. : Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! BARRY: - That's awful. LOU LO DUVA: (Still talking through megaphone) - And a reminder for you rookies, : bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! : All right, launch positions! POLLEN JOCKS: (The Pollen Jocks run into formation) : Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! LOU LU DUVA: Black and yellow! POLLEN JOCKS: Hello! POLLEN JOCK #1: (To Barry)You ready for this, hot shot? BARRY: Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. POLLEN JOCK's: Wind, check. : - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. : - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. BARRY: Scared out of my shorts, check. LOU LO DUVA: OK, ladies, : let's move it out! : Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! : All of you, drain those flowers! (The pollen jocks fly out of the hive) BARRY: Wow! I'm out! : I can't believe I'm out! : So blue. : I feel so fast and free! : Box kite! (Barry flies through the kite) : Wow! : Flowers! (A pollen jock puts on some high tech goggles that shows flowers similar to heat sink goggles.) POLLEN JOCK: This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. : Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. : Roses! POLLEN JOCK #1: 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. : Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. (The pollen jock fires a high-tech gun at the flower, shooting tubes that suck up the nectar from the flower and collects it into a pouch on the gun) BARRY: That is one nectar collector! POLLEN JOCK #1== - Ever see pollination up close? BARRY: - No, sir. POLLEN JOCK #1: (Barry and the Pollen jock fly over the field, the pollen jock sprinkles pollen as he goes) : I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, : a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. BARRY: That's amazing. Why do we do that? POLLEN JOCK #1: That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. BARRY: Cool. POLLEN JOCK #1: I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. could be daisies. Don't we need those? POLLEN JOCK #2: Copy that visual. : Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. POLLEN JOCK #1: Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? POLLEN JOCK #2: Affirmative. (The Pollen jocks land near the "flowers" which, to the audience are obviously just tennis balls) KEN: (In the distance) That was on the line! POLLEN JOCK #1: This is the coolest. What is it? POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't know, but I'm loving this color. : It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. POLLEN JOCK #1: Yeah, fuzzy. (Sticks his hand on the ball but it gets stuck) POLLEN JOCK #3== Chemical-y. (The pollen jock finally gets his hand free from the tennis ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: Careful, guys. It's a little grabby. (The pollen jocks turn around and see Barry lying his entire body on top of one of the tennis balls) POLLEN JOCK #2: My sweet lord of bees! POLLEN JOCK #3: Candy-brain, get off there! POLLEN JOCK #1: (Pointing upwards) Problem! (A human hand reaches down and grabs the tennis ball that Barry is stuck to) BARRY: - Guys! POLLEN JOCK #2: - This could be bad. POLLEN JOCK #3: Affirmative. (Vanessa Bloome starts bouncing the tennis ball, not knowing Barry is stick to it) BARRY== Very close. : Gonna hurt. : Mama's little boy. (Barry is being hit back and forth by two humans playing tennis. He is still stuck to the ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: You are way out of position, rookie! KEN: Coming in at you like a MISSILE! (Barry flies past the pollen jocks, still stuck to the ball) BARRY: (In slow motion) Help me! POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't think these are flowers. POLLEN JOCK #3: - Should we tell him? POLLEN JOCK #1: - I think he knows. BARRY: What is this?! KEN: Match point! : You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to EAT IT! (A pollen jock coughs which confused Ken and he hits the ball the wrong way with Barry stuck to it and it goes flying into the city) BARRY: Yowser! (Barry bounces around town and gets stuck in the engine of a car. He flies into the air conditioner and sees a bug that was frozen in there) BARRY: Ew, gross. (The man driving the car turns on the air conditioner which blows Barry into the car) GIRL IN CAR: There's a bee in the car! : - Do something! DAD DRIVING CAR: - I'm driving! BABY GIRL: (Waving at Barry) - Hi, bee. (Barry smiles and waves at the baby girl) GUY IN BACK OF CAR: - He's back here! : He's going to sting me! GIRL IN CAR: Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! (Barry freezes as well, hovering in the middle of the car) : GRANDMA IN CAR== He blinked! (The grandma whips out some bee-spray and sprays everywhere in the car, climbing into the front seat, still trying to spray Barry) GIRL IN CAR: Spray him, Granny! DAD DRIVING THE CAR: What are you doing?! (Barry escapes the car through the air conditioner and is flying high above the ground, safe.) BARRY: Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. (Barry sees that storm clouds are gathering and he can see rain clouds moving into this direction) : I gotta get home. : Can't fly in rain. : Can't fly in rain. (A rain drop hits Barry and one of his wings is damaged) : Can't fly in rain. (A second rain drop hits Barry again and he spirals downwards) Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! (WW2 plane sound effects are played as he plummets, and he crash-lands on a plant inside an apartment near the window) VANESSA BLOOME: Ken, could you close the window please? KEN== Hey, check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. : You see? (Folds brochure resume out) Folds out. (Ken closes the window, trapping Barry inside) BARRY: Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. (Barry tries to fly away but smashes into the window and falls again) : What was that? (Barry keeps trying to fly out the window but he keeps being knocked back because the window is closed) Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... : Drapes! (Barry taps the glass. He doesn't understand what it is) That is diabolical. KEN: It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. ANDY: What's number one? Star Wars? KEN: Nah, I don't go for that... (Ken makes finger guns and makes "pew pew pew" sounds and then stops) : ...kind of stuff. BARRY: No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. KEN: When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. BARRY: (Looking at the light on the ceiling) There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. (Starts flying towards the lightbulb) : I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. (Barry hits the lightbulb and falls into the dip on the table that the humans are sitting at) KEN: I predicted global warming. : I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. (Andy dips a chip into the bowl and scoops up some dip with Barry on it and is about to put it in his mouth) : Wait! Stop! Bee! (Andy drops the chip with Barry in fear and backs away. All the humans freak out) : Stand back. These are winter boots. (Ken has winter boots on his hands and he is about to smash the bee but Vanessa saves him last second) VANESSA: Wait! : Don't kill him! (Vanessa puts Barry in a glass to protect him) KEN: You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! VANESSA: Why does his life have less value than yours? KEN: Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? VANESSA: I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. (Vanessa picks up Ken's brochure and puts it under the glass so she can carry Barry back to the window. Barry looks at Vanessa in amazement) KEN: My brochure! VANESSA: There you go, little guy. (Vanessa opens the window and lets Barry out but Barry stays back and is still shocked that a human saved his life) KEN: I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. VANESSA: Put that on your resume brochure. KEN: My whole face could puff up. ANDY: Make it one of your special skills. KEN: Knocking someone out is also a special skill. (Ken walks to the door) Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. : - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? VANESSA: - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. : (Vanessa tries to close door) KEN== - You could put carob chips on there. VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door but Ken opens it again) KEN: - Supposed to be less calories. VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door) (Fast forward to the next day, Barry is still inside the house. He flies into the kitchen where Vanessa is doing dishes) BARRY== (Talking to himself) I gotta say something. : She saved my life. I gotta say something. : All right, here it goes. (Turns back) Nah. : What would I say? : I could really get in trouble. : It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. : I can't believe I'm doing this. : I've got to. (Barry disguises himself as a character on a food can as Vanessa walks by again) : Oh, I can't do it. Come on! : No. Yes. No. : Do it. I can't. : How should I start it? (Barry strikes a pose and wiggles his eyebrows) "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. (Vanessa is about to walk past Barry) Here she comes! Speak, you fool! : ...Hi! (Vanessa gasps and drops the dishes in fright and notices Barry on the counter) : I'm sorry. VANESSA: - You're talking. BARRY: - Yes, I know. VANESSA: (Pointing at Barry) You're talking! BARRY: I'm so sorry. VANESSA: No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. : But I don't recall going to bed. BARRY: Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. VANESSA: This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! BARRY: I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, (Pointing to the living room where Ken tried to kill him last night) but they were all trying to kill me. : And if it wasn't for you... : I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. (Vanessa stabs her hand with a fork to test whether she's dreaming or not) : That was a little weird. VANESSA: - I'm talking with a bee. BARRY: - Yeah. VANESSA: I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! BARRY: I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. (Barry turns to leave) VANESSA: - Wait! How did you learn to do that? BARRY: (Flying back) - What? VANESSA: The talking...thing. BARRY: Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. VANESSA: - That's very funny. BARRY: - Yeah. : Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. : Anyway... VANESSA: Can I... : ...get you something? BARRY: - Like what? VANESSA: I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Coffee? BARRY: I don't want to put you out. VANESSA: It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. : - It's just coffee. BARRY: - I hate to impose. (Vanessa starts making coffee) VANESSA: - Don't be ridiculous! BARRY: - Actually, I would love a cup. VANESSA: Hey, you want rum cake? BARRY: - I shouldn't. VANESSA: - Have some. BARRY: - No, I can't. VANESSA: - Come on! BARRY: I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. VANESSA: - Where? BARRY: - These stripes don't help. VANESSA: You look great! BARRY: I don't know if you know anything about fashion. : Are you all right? VANESSA: (Pouring coffee on the floor and missing the cup completely) No. (Flash forward in time. Barry and Vanessa are sitting together at a table on top of the apartment building drinking coffee) : BARRY== He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. : He finally gets there. : He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. : And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. : Why would I marry a watermelon?" (Barry laughs but Vanessa looks confused) VANESSA: Is that a bee joke? BARRY: That's the kind of stuff we do. VANESSA: Yeah, different. : So, what are you gonna do, Barry? (Barry stands on top of a sugar cube floating in his coffee and paddles it around with a straw like it's a gondola) BARRY: About work? I don't know. : I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. VANESSA: I know how you feel. BARRY: - You do? VANESSA: - Sure. : My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. BARRY: - Really? VANESSA: - My only interest is flowers. BARRY: Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. : Anyway, if you look... (Barry points to a tree in the middle of Central Park) : There's my hive right there. See it? VANESSA: You're in Sheep Meadow! BARRY: Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! VANESSA: No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. BARRY: - Why do girls put rings on their toes? VANESSA: - Why not? BARRY: - It's like putting a hat on your knee. VANESSA: - Maybe I'll try that. (A custodian installing a lightbulb looks over at them but to his perspective it looks like Vanessa is talking to a cup of coffee on the table) CUSTODIAN: - You all right, ma'am? VANESSA: - Oh, yeah. Fine. : Just having two cups of coffee! BARRY: Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. VANESSA== Yeah, it's no trouble. BARRY: Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. (Barry points towards the rum cake) : Can I take a piece of this with me? VANESSA: Sure! Here, have a crumb. (Vanessa hands Barry a crumb but it is still pretty big for Barry) BARRY: - Thanks! VANESSA: - Yeah. BARRY: All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. : Or not. VANESSA: OK, Barry... BARRY: And thank you so much again... for before. VANESSA: Oh, that? That was nothing. BARRY: Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... (Vanessa and Barry hold hands, but Vanessa has to hold out a finger because her hands is to big and Barry holds that) (The custodian looks over again and it appears Vanessa is laughing at her coffee again. The lightbulb that he was screwing in sparks and he falls off the ladder) (Fast forward in time and we see two Bee Scientists testing out a parachute in a Honex wind tunnel) BEE SCIENTIST #1: This can't possibly work. BEE SCIENTIST #2: He's all set to go. We may as well try it. : OK, Dave, pull the chute. (Dave pulls the chute and the wind slams him against the wall and he falls on his face.The camera pans over and we see Barry and Adam walking together) ADAM: - Sounds amazing. BARRY: - It was amazing! : It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. ADAM: Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! : Giant, scary humans! What were they like? BARRY: Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. : They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. ADAM: - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? BARRY: - Some of them. But some of them don't. ADAM: - How'd you get back? BARRY: - Poodle. ADAM: You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. : You had your "experience." Now you can pick out your job and be normal. BARRY: - Well... ADAM: - Well? BARRY: Well, I met someone. ADAM: You did? Was she Bee-ish? : - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! BARRY: - No, no, no, not a wasp. ADAM: - Spider? BARRY: - I'm not attracted to spiders. : I know, for everyone else, it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. : I can't get by that face. ADAM: So who is she? BARRY: She's... human. ADAM: No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. BARRY: - Her name's Vanessa. (Adam puts his head in his hands) ADAM: - Oh, boy. BARRY== She's so nice. And she's a florist! ADAM: Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! BARRY: We're not dating. ADAM: You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes : with power washers and M-80s! That's one-eighth a stick of dynamite! BARRY: She saved my life! And she understands me. ADAM: This is over! BARRY: Eat this. (Barry gives Adam a piece of the crumb that he got from Vanessa. Adam eats it) ADAM: (Adam's tone changes) This is not over! What was that? BARRY: - They call it a crumb. ADAM: - It was so stingin' stripey! BARRY: And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! : - You know what a Cinnabon is? ADAM: - No. (Adam opens a door behind him and he pulls Barry in) BARRY: It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. ADAM: Be quiet! BARRY: They heat it up... ADAM: Sit down! (Adam forces Barry to sit down) BARRY: (Still rambling about Cinnabons) ...really hot! (Adam grabs Barry by the shoulders) ADAM: - Listen to me! : We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! BARRY== Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? ADAM: There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! : You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! BARRY: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEE: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEES AND ADAM: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! (Flash forward in time; Barry is laying on a raft in a pool full of honey. He is wearing sunglasses) JANET: There he is. He's in the pool. MARTIN: You know what your problem is, Barry? (Barry pulls down his sunglasses and he looks annoyed) BARRY: (Sarcastic) I gotta start thinking bee? JANET: How much longer will this go on? MARTIN: It's been three days! Why aren't you working? (Puts sunglasses back on) BARRY: I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. MARTIN: What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! JANET: Would it kill you to make a little honey? (Barry rolls off the raft and sinks into the honey pool) : Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. : Martin, would you talk to him? MARTIN: Barry, I'm talking to you! (Barry keeps sinking into the honey until he is suddenly in Central Park having a picnic with Vanessa) (Barry has a cup of honey and he clinks his glass with Vanessas. Suddenly a mosquito lands on Vanessa and she slaps it, killing it. They both gasp but then burst out laughing) VANESSA: You coming? (The camera pans over and Vanessa is climbing into a small yellow airplane) BARRY: Got everything? VANESSA: All set! BARRY: Go ahead. I'll catch up. (Vanessa lifts off and flies ahead) VANESSA: Don't be too long. (Barry catches up with Vanessa and he sticks out his arms like ana irplane. He rolls from side to side, and Vanessa copies him with the airplane) VANESSA: Watch this! (Barry stays back and watches as Vanessa draws a heart in the air using pink smoke from the plane, but on the last loop-the-loop she suddenly crashes into a mountain and the plane explodes. The destroyed plane falls into some rocks and explodes a second time) BARRY: Vanessa! (As Barry is yelling his mouth fills with honey and he wakes up, discovering that he was just day dreaming. He slowly sinks back into the honey pool) MARTIN: - We're still here. JANET: - I told you not to yell at him. : He doesn't respond to yelling! MARTIN: - Then why yell at me? JANET: - Because you don't listen! MARTIN: I'm not listening to this. BARRY: Sorry, I've gotta go. MARTIN: - Where are you going? BARRY: - I'm meeting a friend. JANET: A girl? Is this why you can't decide? BARRY: Bye. (Barry flies out the door and Martin shakes his head) : JANET== I just hope she's Bee-ish. (Fast forward in time and Barry is sitting on Vanessa's shoulder and she is closing up her shop) BARRY: They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? VANESSA: To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! : Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. BARRY: A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? VANESSA: No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? BARRY: It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. VANESSA: Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. BARRY: TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! VANESSA: You don't have that? BARRY: We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. VANESSA: Oh, my. (A human walks by and Barry narrowly avoids him) PASSERBY: Dumb bees! VANESSA: You must want to sting all those jerks. BARRY: We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. VANESSA: So you have to watch your temper (They walk into a store) BARRY: Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, : write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: : Anger, jealousy, lust. (Suddenly an employee(Hector) hits Barry off of Vanessa's shoulder. Hector thinks he's saving Vanessa) VANESSA: (To Barry) Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? (Barry is getting up off the floor) BARRY: Yeah. VANESSA: (To Hector) - What is wrong with you?! HECTOR: (Confused) - It's a bug. VANESSA: He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! (Vanessa hits Hector across the face with the magazine he had and then hits him in the head. Hector backs away covering his head) Barry: What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? (Vanessa sets Barry back on her shoulder) VANESSA: Yeah, it was. How did you know? BARRY: It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. VANESSA: You've really got that down to a science. BARRY: - Oh, we have to. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. VANESSA: - I'll bet. (Barry looks to his right and notices there is honey for sale in the aisle) BARRY: What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? (Barry looks at all the brands of honey, shocked) How did this get here? Cute Bee, Golden Blossom, : Ray Liotta Private Select? (Barry puts his hands up and slowly turns around, a look of disgust on his face) VANESSA: - Is he that actor? BARRY: - I never heard of him. : - Why is this here? VANESSA: - For people. We eat it. BARRY: You don't have enough food of your own?! (Hector looks back and notices that Vanessa is talking to Barry) VANESSA: - Well, yes. BARRY: - How do you get it? VANESSA: - Bees make it. BARRY: - I know who makes it! : And it's hard to make it! : There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! VANESSA: - It's organic. BARRY: - It's our-ganic! VANESSA: It's just honey, Barry. BARRY: Just what?! : Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! : You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! : And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. : I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! (Flash forward in time; Barry paints his face with black strikes like a soldier and sneaks into the storage section of the store) (Two men, including Hector, are loading boxes into some trucks) : SUPERMARKET EMPLOYEE== Hey, Hector. : - You almost done? HECTOR: - Almost. (Barry takes a step to peak around the corner) (Whispering) He is here. I sense it. : Well, I guess I'll go home now (Hector pretends to walk away by walking in place and speaking loudly) : and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. BARRY: You're busted, box boy! HECTOR: I knew I heard something! So you can talk! BARRY: I can talk. And now you'll start talking! : Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? HECTOR: I don't understand. I thought we were friends. : The last thing we want to do is upset bees! (Hector takes a thumbtack out of the board behind him and sword-fights Barry. Barry is using his stinger like a sword) : You're too late! It's ours now! BARRY: You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! HECTOR: You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! (Barry hits the thumbtack out of Hectors hand and Hector surrenders) Barry: Where is the honey coming from? : Tell me where! HECTOR: (Pointing to leaving truck) Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! (Barry chases after the truck but it is getting away. He flies onto a bicyclists' backpack and he catches up to the truck) CAR DRIVER: (To bicyclist) Crazy person! (Barry flies off and lands on the windshield of the Honey farms truck. Barry looks around and sees dead bugs splattered everywhere) BARRY: What horrible thing has happened here? : These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now : they're on the road to nowhere! (Barry hears a sudden whisper) (Barry looks up and sees Mooseblood, a mosquito playing dead) MOOSEBLOOD: Just keep still. BARRY: What? You're not dead? MOOSEBLOOD: Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? BARRY: To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. MOOSEBLOOD: I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! ANOTHER BUG PLAYING DEAD: I'm going to Tacoma. (Barry looks at another bug) BARRY: - And you? MOOSEBLOOD: - He really is dead. BARRY: All right. (Another bug hits the windshield and the drivers notice. They activate the windshield wipers) MOOSEBLOOD== Uh-oh! (The windshield wipers are slowly sliding over the dead bugs and wiping them off) BARRY: - What is that?! MOOSEBLOOD: - Oh, no! : - A wiper! Triple blade! BARRY: - Triple blade? MOOSEBLOOD: Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! (Mooseblood and Barry grab onto the wiper and they hold on as it wipes the windshield) Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! : How much do you people need to see?! (Bangs on windshield) : Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! RADIO IN TRUCK: From NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Kasell. MOOSEBLOOD: But don't kill no more bugs! (Mooseblood and Barry are washed off by the wipr fluid) MOOSEBLOOD: - Bee! BARRY: - Moose blood guy!! (Barry starts screaming as he hangs onto the antenna) (Suddenly it is revealed that a water bug is also hanging on the antenna. There is a pause and then Barry and the water bug both start screaming) TRUCK DRIVER: - You hear something? GUY IN TRUCK: - Like what? TRUCK DRIVER: Like tiny screaming. GUY IN TRUCK: Turn off the radio. (The antenna starts to lower until it gets to low and sinks into the truck. The water bug flies off and Barry is forced to let go and he is blown away. He luckily lands inside a horn on top of the truck where he finds Mooseblood, who was blown into the same place) MOOSEBLOOD: Whassup, bee boy? BARRY: Hey, Blood. (Fast forward in time and we see that Barry is deep in conversation with Mooseblood. They have been sitting in this truck for a while) BARRY: ...Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. MOOSEBLOOD: Wow! BARRY: I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. : I mean, that honey's ours. MOOSEBLOOD: - Bees hang tight. BARRY: - We're all jammed in. : It's a close community. MOOSEBLOOD: Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. BARRY: - What if you get in trouble? MOOSEBLOOD: - You a mosquito, you in trouble. : Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! BARRY: At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. MOOSEBLOOD: Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. : Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. (An ambulance passes by and it has a blood donation sign on it) You got to be kidding me! : Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! (Mooseblood leaves and flies onto the window of the ambulance where there are other mosquito's hanging out) : - Hey, guys! OTHER MOSQUITO: - Mooseblood! MOOSEBLOOD: I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? (The truck goes out of view and Barry notices that the truck he's on is pulling into a camp of some sort) TRUCK DRIVER: We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. (Barry flies out) BARRY: What is this place? BEEKEEPER 1#: A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. BEEKEEPER #2: They are pinheads! : Pinhead. : - Check out the new smoker. BEEKEEPER #1: - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. : The Thomas 3000! BARRY: Smoker? BEEKEEPER #1: Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. : A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. BEEKEEPER #2: They make the honey, and we make the money. BARRY: "They make the honey, and we make the money"? (The Beekeeper sprays hundreds of cheap miniature apartments with the smoker. The bees are fainting or passing out) Oh, my! : What's going on? Are you OK? (Barry flies into one of the apartment and helps a Bee couple get off the ground. They are coughing and its hard for them to stand) BEE IN APARTMENT: Yeah. It doesn't last too long. BARRY: Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? BEE IN APPARTMENT: Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. (The apartment room is completely empty except for a photo on the wall of the "queen" who is obviously a man in women's clothes) BARRY: This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! : That's a drag queen! : What is this? (Barry flies out and he discovers that there are hundreds of these structures, each housing thousands of Bees) Oh, no! : There's hundreds of them! (Barry takes out his camera and takes pictures of these Bee work camps. The beekeepers look very evil in these depictions) Bee honey. : Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! : This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. (Flash forward in time and Barry is showing these pictures to his parents) JANET: Oh, Barry, stop. MARTIN: Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. BARRY: Do these look like rumors? (Holds up the pictures) UNCLE CARL: That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. JANET: How did you get mixed up in this? ADAM: He's been talking to humans. JANET: - What? MARTIN: - Talking to humans?! ADAM: He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! JANET: Make out? Barry! BARRY: We do not. ADAM: - You wish you could. MARTIN: - Whose side are you on? BARRY: The bees! UNCLE CARL: (He has been sitting in the back of the room this entire time) I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. JANET: Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? BARRY: I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! : Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked : your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. JANET: I remember that. BARRY: What right do they have to our honey? : We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! ADAM: Even if it's true, what can one bee do? BARRY: Sting them where it really hurts. MARTIN: In the face! The eye! : - That would hurt. BARRY: - No. MARTIN: Up the nose? That's a killer. BARRY: There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. (Flash forward a bit in time and we are watching the Bee News) BEE NEWS NARRATOR: Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. BEE PROTESTOR: No more bee beards! BEE NEWS NARRATOR: With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. : Weather with Storm Stinger. : Sports with Buzz Larvi. : And Jeanette Chung. BOB BUMBLE: - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. JEANETTE CHUNG: - And I'm Jeanette Chung. BOB BUMBLE: A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, : intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, : packaging it and profiting from it illegally! JEANETTE CHUNG: Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, : we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, : Classy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. (The scene changes to an interview on the news with Bee version of Larry King and Barry) BEE LARRY KING: Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. : Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? BARRY: Bees have never been afraid to change the world. : What about Bee Columbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? BEE LARRY KING: Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. : We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. BARRY: How old are you? BEE LARRY KING: The bee community is supporting you in this case, : which will be the trial of the bee century. BARRY: You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. BEE LARRY KING: It's a common name. Next week... BARRY: He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... BEE LARRY KING: Next week... BARRY: Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. BEE LARRY KING: Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here, live. (Bee Larry King gets annoyed and flies away offscreen) BARRY: Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. (Flash forward in time. We see Vanessa enter and Ken enters behind her. They are arguing) KEN: In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! VANESSA: It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. KEN== Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? BARRY: (To Ken) Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. KEN: (Pointing at Barry) - Is that that same bee? VANESSA: - Yes, it is! : I'm helping him sue the human race. BARRY: - Hello. KEN: - Hello, bee. VANESSA: This is Ken. BARRY: (Recalling the "Winter Boots" incident earlier) Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. KEN: (To Vanessa) Why does he talk again? VANESSA: Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. KEN: But it's our yogurt night! VANESSA: (Holding door open for Ken) Bye-bye. KEN: (Yelling) Why is yogurt night so difficult?! (Ken leaves and Vanessa walks over to Barry. His workplace is a mess) VANESSA: You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! BARRY: Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. ADAM: - Frosting... - How many sugars? ==BARRY== Just one. I try not to use the competition. : So why are you helping me? VANESSA: Bees have good qualities. : And it takes my mind off the shop. : Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. BARRY: Those are great, if you're three. VANESSA: And artificial flowers. BARRY: - Oh, those just get me psychotic! VANESSA: - Yeah, me too. : BARRY: Bent stingers, pointless pollination. ADAM: Bees must hate those fake things! : Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. : Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. VANESSA: - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. BARRY: - I guess. ADAM: You sure you want to go through with it? BARRY: Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able : to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! (Flash forward in time and we are watching the human news. The camera shows a crowd outside a courthouse) NEWS REPORTER: It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, : where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, : we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. (We are no longer watching through a news camera) ADAM: What have we gotten into here, Barry? BARRY: It's pretty big, isn't it? ADAM== (Looking at the hundreds of people around the courthouse) I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. BARRY: You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? SECURITY GUARD: Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. (A limousine drives up and a fat man,Layton Montgomery, a honey industry owner gets out and walks past Barry) ADAM: - What's the matter? BARRY: - I don't know, I just got a chill. (Fast forward in time and everyone is in the court) MONTGOMERY: Well, if it isn't the bee team. (To Honey Industry lawyers) You boys work on this? MAN: All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. JUDGE BUMBLETON: All right. Case number 4475, : Superior Court of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry : is now in session. : Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? MONTGOMERY: A privilege. JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? (Everyone looks closely, they are waiting to see if a Bee can really talk) (Barry makes several buzzing sounds to sound like a Bee) BARRY: I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. JUDGE BUMBLBETON: Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. MONTGOMERY: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, : my grandmother was a simple woman. : Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right : to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. : If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, : just think of what would it mean. : I would have to negotiate with the silkworm : for the elastic in my britches! : Talking bee! (Montgomery walks over and looks closely at Barry) : How do we know this isn't some sort of : holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? : They could be using laser beams! : Robotics! Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, : he could be on steroids! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson? BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. : I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. : It's important to all bees. We invented it! : We make it. And we protect it with our lives. : Unfortunately, there are some people in this room : who think they can take it from us : 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, : you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have : but everything we are! JANET== (To Martin) I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Call your first witness. BARRY: So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. KLAUSS VANDERHAYDEN: I suppose so. BARRY: I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! KLAUSS: Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. BARRY: Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. : I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? KLAUSS: (Quietly) - No. BARRY: - I couldn't hear you. KLAUSS: - No. BARRY: - No. : Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, : it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. KLAUSS: They're very lovable creatures. : Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. BARRY: You mean like this? (The bear from Over The Hedge barges in through the back door and it is roaring and standing on its hind legs. It is thrashing its claws and people are screaming. It is being held back by a guard who has the bear on a chain) : (Pointing to the roaring bear) Bears kill bees! : How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! : Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! JUDGE BUMBLETON: OK, that's enough. Take him away. (The bear stops roaring and thrashing and walks out) BARRY: So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. : - Where have I heard it before? MR. STING: - I was with a band called The Police. BARRY: But you've never been a police officer, have you? STING: No, I haven't. BARRY: No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example : of bee culture casually stolen by a human : for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. STING: Oh, please. BARRY: Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? : Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. : Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! MONTGOMERY: That's not his real name?! You idiots! BARRY: Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on : your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. RAY LIOTTA: Thank you. Thank you. BARRY: I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome : with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. RAY LIOTTA: I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? BARRY: Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? : Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't : have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? RAY LIOTTA: Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! BARRY: This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! (Ray Liotta looses it and tries to grab Barry) RAY LIOTTA: Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! JUDGE BUMBLETON: - Order in this court! RAY LIOTTA: - You're all thinking it! (Judge Bumbleton starts banging her gavel) JUDGE BUMBLETON: Order! Order, I say! RAY LIOTTA: - Say it! MAN: - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! (We see a montage of magazines which feature the court case) (Flash forward in time and Barry is back home with Vanessa) BARRY: I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. VANESSA: I think the jury's on our side. BARRY: Are we doing everything right,you know, legally? VANESSA: I'm a florist. BARRY: Right. Well, here's to a great team. VANESSA: To a great team! (Ken walks in from work. He sees Barry and he looks upset when he sees Barry clinking his glass with Vanessa) KEN: Well, hello. VANESSA: - Oh, Ken! BARRY: - Hello! VANESSA: I didn't think you were coming. : No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... (Ken holds up his phone and flips it open. The phone has no charge) ...the battery... VANESSA: I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. KEN: Oh, that was lucky. (Ken sits down at the table across from Barry and Vanessa leaves the room) VANESSA: There's a little left. I could heat it up. KEN: (Not taking his eyes off Barry) Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. BARRY: So I hear you're quite a tennis player. : I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. KEN: That's where I usually sit. Right... (Points to where Barry is sitting) there. VANESSA: (Calling from other room) Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, : and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. KEN: (To Barry) You think I don't see what you're doing? BARRY: I know how hard it is to find the right job. We have that in common. KEN: Do we? BARRY: Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. KEN: (Menacingly) That's just what I was thinking about doing. (Ken reaches for a fork on the table but knocks if on the floor. He goes to pick it up) VANESSA: Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. (Ken quickly rises back up after hearing this but hits his head on the table and yells) BARRY: I'm going to drain the old stinger. KEN: Yeah, you do that. (Barry flies past Ken to get to the bathroom and Ken freaks out, splashing some of the wine he was using to cool his head in his eyes. He yells in anger) (Barry looks at the magazines featuring his victories in court) BARRY: Look at that. (Barry flies into the bathroom) (He puts his hand on his head but this makes hurts him and makes him even madder. He yells again) (Barry is washing his hands in the sink but then Ken walks in) KEN: You know, you know I've just about had it (Closes bathroom door behind him) with your little mind games. (Ken is menacingly rolling up a magazine) BARRY: (Backing away) - What's that? KEN: - Italian Vogue. BARRY: Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. KEN: It's a lot of ads. BARRY: Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? KEN: That's funny, I just can't seem to recall that! (Ken smashes everything off the sink with the magazine and Barry narrowly escapes) (Ken follows Barry around and tries to hit him with the magazine but he keeps missing) (Ken gets a spray bottle) : I think something stinks in here! BARRY: (Enjoying the spray) I love the smell of flowers. (Ken holds a lighter in front of the spray bottle) KEN: How do you like the smell of flames?! BARRY: Not as much. (Ken fires his make-shift flamethrower but misses Barry, burning the bathroom. He torches the whole room but looses his footing and falls into the bathtub. After getting hit in the head by falling objects 3 times he picks up the shower head, revealing a Water bug hiding under it) WATER BUG: Water bug! Not taking sides! (Barry gets up out of a pile of bathroom supplies and he is wearing a chapstick hat) BARRY: Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat! This is pathetic! (Ken switches the shower head to lethal) KEN: I've got issues! (Ken sprays Barry with the shower head and he crash lands into the toilet) (Ken menacingly looks down into the toilet at Barry) Well, well, well, a royal flush! BARRY: - You're bluffing. KEN: - Am I? (flushes toilet) (Barry grabs a chapstick from the toilet seat and uses it to surf in the flushing toilet) BARRY: Surf's up, dude! (Barry flies out of the toilet on the chapstick and sprays Ken's face with the toilet water) : EW,Poo water! BARRY: That bowl is gnarly. KEN: (Aiming a toilet cleaner at Barry) Except for those dirty yellow rings! (Barry cowers and covers his head and Vanessa runs in and takes the toilet cleaner from Ken just before he hits Barry) VANESSA: Kenneth! What are you doing?! KEN== (Leaning towards Barry) You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! VANESSA: We need to talk! (Vanessa pulls Ken out of the bathroom) : He's just a little bee! : And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! KEN: Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? VANESSA: No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! KEN: Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... : My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! VANESSA: Goodbye, Ken. (Ken huffs and walks out and slams the door. But suddenly he walks back in and stares at Barry) : And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners MADE BY MAN! (Ken leaves again and Vanessa leans in towards Barry) VANESSA: I'm sorry about all that. (Ken walks back in again) KEN: I know it's got an aftertaste! I LIKE IT! (Ken leaves for the last time) VANESSA: I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. : I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. : Are you OK for the trial? BARRY: I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. (Flash forward in time and Barry, Adam, and Vanessa are back in court) MONTGOMERY-- We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. ADAM: Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... (Barry stares at Adam) ...Yeah. LAWYER: Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. MONTGOMERY: Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around : is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. (To lawyer) - You got the tweezers? LAWYER: - Are you allergic? MONTGOMERY: Only to losing, son. Only to losing. : Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. : What exactly is your relationship (Points to Vanessa) : to that woman? BARRY: We're friends. MONTGOMERY: - Good friends? BARRY: - Yes. MONTGOMERY: How good? Do you live together? ADAM: Wait a minute... : MONTGOMERY: Are you her little... : ...bedbug? (Adam's stinger starts vibrating. He is agitated) I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, : doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? BARRY: - Yeah, but... MONTGOMERY: (Pointing at Janet and Martin) - So those aren't your real parents! JANET: - Oh, Barry... BARRY: - Yes, they are! ADAM: Hold me back! (Vanessa tries to hold Adam back. He wants to sting Montgomery) MONTGOMERY: You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? ADAM: He's denouncing bees! MONTGOMERY: Don't y'all date your cousins? (Montgomery leans over on the jury stand and stares at Adam) VANESSA: - Objection! (Vanessa raises her hand to object but Adam gets free. He flies straight at Montgomery) =ADAM: - I'm going to pincushion this guy! BARRY: Adam, don't! It's what he wants! (Adam stings Montgomery in the butt and he starts thrashing around) MONTGOMERY: Oh, I'm hit!! : Oh, lordy, I am hit! JUDGE BUMBLETON: (Banging gavel) Order! Order! MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting) The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! : I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! : You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! : Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! BARRY: - Adam, stay with me. ADAM: - I can't feel my legs. MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting and throwing his body around the room) What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison : from my heaving buttocks? JUDGE BUMLBETON: I will have order in this court. Order! : Order, please! (Flash forward in time and we see a human news reporter) NEWS REPORTER: The case of the honeybees versus the human race : took a pointed turn against the bees : yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. (Adam is laying in a hospital bed and Barry flies in to see him) BARRY: - Hey, buddy. ADAM: - Hey. BARRY: - Is there much pain? ADAM: - Yeah. : I... : I blew the whole case, didn't I? BARRY: It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. ADAM: I'd be better off dead. Look at me. (A small plastic sword is replaced as Adam's stinger) They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. : Look, there's a little celery still on it. (Flicks off the celery and sighs) BARRY: What was it like to sting someone? ADAM: I can't explain it. It was all... : All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! BARRY: ...All right. ADAM: You think it was all a trap? BARRY: Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. : What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. ADAM: What will the humans do to us if they win? BARRY: I don't know. ADAM: I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. BARRY: Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! ADAM: Oh, my. (Coughs) Could you get a nurse to close that window? BARRY: - Why? ADAM: - The smoke. (We can see that two humans are smoking cigarettes outside) : Bees don't smoke. BARRY: Right. Bees don't smoke. : Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. : That's it! That's our case! ADAM: It is? It's not over? BARRY: Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. : Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. (Flash forward in time and Adam is making a paper boat in the courtroom) ADAM: And assuming you've done step 29 correctly, you're ready for the tub! (We see that the jury have each made their own paper boats after being taught how by Adam. They all look confused) JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Flayman. ADAM: Yes? Yes, Your Honor! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Where is the rest of your team? ADAM: (Continues stalling) Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. : Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, : and as a result, we don't make very good time. : I actually heard a funny story about... MONTGOMERY: Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs : taken up enough of this court's valuable time? : How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? : They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges : against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. : I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going : to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. ADAM: But you can't! We have a terrific case. MONTGOMERY: Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? : Show me the smoking gun! BARRY: (Barry flies in through the door) Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? : Here is your smoking gun. (Vanessa walks in holding a bee smoker. She sets it down on the Judge's podium) JUDGE BUMBLETON: What is that? BARRY: It's a bee smoker! MONTGOMERY: (Picks up smoker) What, this? This harmless little contraption? : This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. (Montgomery accidentally fires it at the bees in the crowd and they faint and cough) (Dozens of reporters start taking pictures of the suffering bees) BARRY: Look at what has happened : to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" : Is this what nature intended for us? : To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines : and man-made wooden slat work camps? : Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? (Barry points to the honey industry owners. One of them is an African American so he awkwardly separates himself from the others) LAWYER: - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! ADAM AND VANESSA: Free the bees! Free the bees! BEES IN CROWD: Free the bees! HUMAN JURY: Free the bees! Free the bees! JUDGE BUMBLETON: The court finds in favor of the bees! BARRY: Vanessa, we won! VANESSA: I knew you could do it! High-five! (Vanessa hits Barry hard because her hand is too big) : Sorry. BARRY: (Overjoyed) I'm OK! You know what this means? : All the honey will finally belong to the bees. : Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. MONTGOMERY: This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. : You'll regret this. (Montgomery leaves and Barry goes outside the courtroom. Several reporters start asking Barry questions) REPORTER 1#: Barry, how much honey is out there? BARRY: All right. One at a time. REPORTER 2#: Barry, who are you wearing? BARRY: My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. (Barry flies outside with the paparazzi and Adam and Vanessa stay back) ADAM: (To Vanessa) - What if Montgomery's right? Vanessa: - What do you mean? ADAM: We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to a man) BUSINESS MAN: Congratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? BARRY: First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. (As Barry is talking we see a montage of men putting "closed" tape over the work camps and freeing the bees in the crappy apartments) Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, : every last drop. (Men in suits are pushing all the honey of the aisle and into carts) We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more (We see a statue of a bear-shaped honey container being pulled down by bees) than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. : We're all aware of what they do in the woods. (We see Winnie the Pooh sharing his honey with Piglet in the cross-hairs of a high-tech sniper rifle) BARRY: (Looking through binoculars) Wait for my signal. : Take him out. (Winnie gets hit by a tranquilizer dart and dramatically falls off the log he was standing on, his tongue hanging out. Piglet looks at Pooh in fear and the Sniper takes the honey.) SNIPER: He'll have nausea for a few hours, then he'll be fine. (Flash forward in time) BARRY: And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... (Mr. Sting is sitting at home until he is taken out of his house by the men in suits) STING: But it's just a prance-about stage name! BARRY: ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products : and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. (An old lady is mixing honey into her tea but suddenly men in suits smash her face down on the table and take the honey) OLD LADY: Can't breathe. (A honey truck pulls up to Barry's hive) WORKER: Bring it in, boys! : Hold it right there! Good. : Tap it. (Tons of honey is being pumped into the hive's storage) BEE WORKER 1#: (Honey overflows from the cup) Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! : - I think we need to shut down! =BEE WORKER #2= - Shut down? We've never shut down. : Shut down honey production! DEAN BUZZWELL: Stop making honey! (The bees all leave their stations. Two bees run into a room and they put the keys into a machine) Turn your key, sir! (Two worker bees dramatically turn their keys, which opens the button which they press, shutting down the honey-making machines. This is the first time this has ever happened) BEE: ...What do we do now? (Flash forward in time and a Bee is about to jump into a pool full of honey) Cannonball! (The bee gets stuck in the honey and we get a short montage of Bees leaving work) (We see the Pollen Jocks flying but one of them gets a call on his antenna) LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") We're shutting honey production! : Mission abort. POLLEN JOCK #1: Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. (The Pollen Jocks fly back to the hive) (We get a time lapse of Central Park slowly wilting away as the bees all relax) BARRY: Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. ADAM: Oh, yeah? BARRY: What's going on? Where is everybody? (The entire street is deserted) : - Are they out celebrating? ADAM: - They're home. : They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. : I heard your Uncle Carl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. BARRY: At least we got our honey back. ADAM: Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? : It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. : This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. : And now... : Now I can't. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to Vanessa) BARRY: I don't understand why they're not happy. : I thought their lives would be better! : They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. VANESSA: You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? BARRY: - What did you want to show me? (Vanessa takes Barry to the rooftop where they first had coffee and points to her store) VANESSA: - This. (Points at her flowers. They are all grey and wilting) BARRY: What happened here? VANESSA: That is not the half of it. (Small flash forward in time and Vanessa and Barry are on the roof of her store and she points to Central Park) (We see that Central Park is no longer green and colorful, rather it is grey, brown, and dead-like. It is very depressing to look at) BARRY: Oh, no. Oh, my. : They're all wilting. VANESSA: Doesn't look very good, does it? BARRY: No. VANESSA: And whose fault do you think that is? BARRY: You know, I'm gonna guess bees. VANESSA== (Staring at Barry) Bees? BARRY: Specifically, me. : I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. VANESSA: It's not just flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. BARRY: That's our whole SAT test right there. VANESSA: Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. : And then, of course... BARRY: The human species? : So if there's no more pollination, : it could all just go south here, couldn't it? VANESSA: I know this is also partly my fault. BARRY: How about a suicide pact? VANESSA: How do we do it? BARRY: - I'll sting you, you step on me. VANESSA: - That just kills you twice. BARRY: Right, right. VANESSA: Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. (Vanessa leaves) BARRY: (To himself) I had to open my mouth and talk. : Vanessa? : Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? (Vanessa is getting into a taxi) VANESSA: To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. : They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. : It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. BARRY: Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. VANESSA: I know. Me neither. (The taxi starts to drive away) BARRY: Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. : Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? : Roses! : Vanessa! (Barry flies after the Taxi) VANESSA: Roses?! : Barry? (Barry is flying outside the window of the taxi) BARRY: - Roses are flowers! VANESSA: - Yes, they are. BARRY: Flowers, bees, pollen! VANESSA: I know. That's why this is the last parade. BARRY: Maybe not. Could you ask him to slow down? VANESSA: Could you slow down? (The taxi driver screeches to a stop and Barry keeps flying forward) : Barry! (Barry flies back to the window) BARRY: OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. VANESSA: Yes, it kind of is. BARRY: I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you : with the flower shop. I've made it worse. VANESSA: Actually, it's completely closed down. BARRY: I thought maybe you were remodeling. : But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. VANESSA: I don't want to hear it! BARRY: All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. : I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. : All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. : - Bees. VANESSA: - Park. BARRY: - Pollen! VANESSA: - Flowers. BARRY: - Re-pollination! VANESSA: - Across the nation! : Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, California. : They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. : Security will be tight. BARRY: I have an idea. (Flash forward in time. Vanessa is about to board a plane which has all the Roses on board. VANESSA: Vanessa Bloome, FTD. (Holds out badge) : Official floral business. It's real. SECURITY GUARD: Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. =VANESSA== Thank you. It was a gift. (Barry is revealed to be hiding inside the brooch) (Flash back in time and Barry and Vanessa are discussing their plan) BARRY: Once inside, we just pick the right float. VANESSA: How about The Princess and the Pea? : I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! BARRY: Yes, I got it. : - Where should I sit? GUARD: - What are you? BARRY: - I believe I'm the pea. GUARD: - The pea? VANESSA: It goes under the mattresses. GUARD: - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. VANESSA: You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! : Let's see what this baby'll do. (Vanessa drives the float through traffic) GUARD: Hey, what are you doing?! BARRY== Then all we do is blend in with traffic... : ...without arousing suspicion. : Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are about to get on a plane) SECURITY GUARD: Stop! Security. : - You and your insect pack your float? VANESSA: - Yes. SECURITY GUARD: Has it been in your possession the entire time? VANESSA: - Yes. SECURITY GUARD: Would you remove your shoes? (To Barry) - Remove your stinger. BARRY: - It's part of me. SECURITY GUARD: I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. (Barry plotting with Vanessa) BARRY: Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are flying on the plane) Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! VANESSA: I think this is gonna work. BARRY: It's got to work. CAPTAIN SCOTT: (On intercom) Attention, passengers, this is Captain Scott. : We have a bit of bad weather in New York. : It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. VANESSA: Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. BARRY: I gotta get up there and talk to them. VANESSA== Be careful. (Barry flies right outside the cockpit door) BARRY: Can I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. (The flight attendant opens the door and walks out and Barry flies into the cockpit unseen) BARRY: Captain, I'm in a real situation. CAPTAIN SCOTT: - What'd you say, Hal? CO-PILOT HAL: - Nothing. (Scott notices Barry and freaks out) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Bee! BARRY: No,no,no, Don't freak out! My entire species... (Captain Scott gets out of his seat and tries to suck Barry into a handheld vacuum) HAL: (To Scott) What are you doing? (Barry lands on Hals hair but Scott sees him. He tries to suck up Barry but instead he sucks up Hals toupee) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Uh-oh. BARRY: - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! HAL: (Hal doesn't know Barry is on his head) - Who's an attorney? CAPTAIN SCOTT: Don't move. (Scott hits Hal in the face with the vacuum in an attempt to hit Barry. Hal is knocked out and he falls on the life raft button which launches an infalatable boat into Scott, who gets knocked out and falls to the floor. They are both uncounscious.) BARRY: (To himself) Oh, Barry. BARRY: (On intercom, with a Southern accent) Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. : Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? (Vanessa looks confused) (Normal accent) ...And please hurry! (Vanessa opens the door and sees the life raft and the uncounscious pilots) VANESSA: What happened here? BARRY: I tried to talk to them, but then there was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. : Now one's bald, one's in a boat, and they're both unconscious! VANESSA: ...Is that another bee joke? BARRY: - No! : No one's flying the plane! BUD DITCHWATER: (Through radio on plane) This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? VANESSA: This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. BUD: Where's the pilot? VANESSA: He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. BUD: Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? BARRY: As a matter of fact, there is. BUD: - Who's that? BARRY: - Barry Benson. BUD: From the honey trial?! Oh, great. BARRY: Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. : It's got giant wings, huge engines. VANESSA: I can't fly a plane. BARRY: - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? VANESSA: - Yes. BARRY: How hard could it be? (Vanessa sits down and flies for a little bit but we see lightning clouds outside the window) VANESSA: Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. (An ominous lightning storm looms in front of the plane) (We are now watching the Bee News) BOB BUMBLE: This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, : where a suspenseful scene is developing. : Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... ADAM: That's Barry! BOB BUMBLE: ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers : and an incapacitated flight crew. JANET, MARTIN, UNCLE CAR AND ADAM: Flowers?! (The scene switches to the human news) REPORTER: (Talking with Bob Bumble) We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls : with absolutely no flight experience. BOB BUMBLE: Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. BUD: I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. : They've done enough damage. REPORTER: But isn't he your only hope? BUD: Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. : Their wings are too small... BARRY: (Through radio) Haven't we heard this a million times? : "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense."... BOB BUMBLE: - Get this on the air! BEE: - Got it. BEE NEWS CREW: - Stand by. BEE NEWS CREW: - We're going live! BARRY: (Through radio on TV) ...The way we work may be a mystery to you. : Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. : But let me tell you about a small job. : If you do it well, it makes a big difference. : More than we realized. To us, to everyone. : That's why I want to get bees back to working together. : That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. : We get behind a fellow. : - Black and yellow! BEES: - Hello! (The scene switches and Barry is teaching Vanessa how to fly) BARRY: Left, right, down, hover. VANESSA: - Hover? BARRY: - Forget hover. VANESSA: This isn't so hard. (Pretending to honk the horn) Beep-beep! Beep-beep! (A Lightning bolt hits the plane and autopilot turns off) Barry, what happened?! BARRY: Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. VANESSA: - That may have been helping me. BARRY: - And now we're not! VANESSA: So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. (The plane plummets but we see Lou Lu Duva and the Pollen Jocks, along with multiple other bees flying towards the plane) Lou Lu DUva: All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! : Move out! (The scene switches back to Vanessa and Barry in the plane) BARRY: Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! (Barry sticks out his arms like an airplane and flys in front of Vanessa's face) VANESSA: Don't have to yell. BARRY: I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. VANESSA: It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! BARRY: It's not a tone. I'm panicking! VANESSA: I can't do this! (Barry slaps Vanessa) BARRY: Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! VANESSA: (Slaps Barry) You snap out of it. BARRY: (Slaps Vanessa) : You snap out of it. VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! (We see that all the Pollen Jocks are flying under the plane) VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! VANESSA: - Hold it! BARRY: - Why? Come on, it's my turn. VANESSA: How is the plane flying? (The plane is now safely flying) VANESSA: I don't know. (Barry's antennae rings like a phone. Barry picks up) BARRY: Hello? LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? (All of the Pollen Jocks are carrying the plane) BARRY: The Pollen Jocks! : They do get behind a fellow. LOU LU DUVA: - Black and yellow. POLLEN JOCKS: - Hello. LOU LU DUVA: All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. BARRY: Where? I can't see anything. Can you? VANESSA: No, nothing. It's all cloudy. : Come on. You got to think bee, Barry. BARRY: - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. (On the runway there are millions of bees laying on their backs) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. VANESSA: - What? BARRY: - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. : Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. : Bring the nose down. BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! CONTROL TOWER OPERATOR: - What in the world is on the tarmac? BUD: - Get some lights on that! (It is revealed that all the bees are organized into a giant pulsating flower formation) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: - Vanessa, aim for the flower. VANESSA: - OK. BARRY: Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? LOU LU DUVA: Affirmative! BARRY: Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. : Land on that flower! : Ready? Full reverse! : Spin it around! (The plane's nose is pointed at a flower painted on a nearby plane) - Not that flower! The other one! VANESSA: - Which one? BARRY: - That flower. (The plane is now pointed at a fat guy in a flowered shirt. He freaks out and tries to take a picture of the plane) VANESSA: - I'm aiming at the flower! BARRY: That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! (The plane hovers over the bee-flower) : Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. : Rotate around it. VANESSA: - This is insane, Barry! BARRY: - This's the only way I know how to fly. BUD: Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? (The plane is unrealistically hovering and spinning over the bee-flower) BARRY: Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! : Just drop it. Be a part of it. : Aim for the center! : Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! : Come on, already. (The bees scatter and the plane safely lands) VANESSA: Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! BARRY: - Yes! (Vanessa is about to high-five Barry) No high-five! VANESSA: - Right. ADAM: Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? BARRY: What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! ADAM: - Thank you. BARRY: - But we're not done yet. : Listen, everyone! : This runway is covered with the last pollen : from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. : That means this is our last chance. : We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. : If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? : Are we going to be bees, or just Museum of Natural History keychains? BEES: We're bees! BEE WHO LIKES KEYCHAINS: Keychain! BARRY: Then follow me! Except Keychain. POLLEN JOCK #1: Hold on, Barry. Here. : You've earned this. BARRY: Yeah! : I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. (The Pollen Jocks throw Barry a nectar-collecting gun. Barry catches it) Oh, yeah. JANET: That's our Barry. (Barry and the Pollen Jocks get pollen from the flowers on the plane) (Flash forward in time and the Pollen Jocks are flying over NYC) : (Barry pollinates the flowers in Vanessa's shop and then heads to Central Park) BOY IN PARK: Mom! The bees are back! ADAM: (Putting on his Krelman hat) If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. : I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! (The bee honey factories are back up and running) (Meanwhile at Vanessa's shop) VANESSA: (To customer) Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Can I help who's next? : Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. (There is a room in the shop where Barry does legal work for other animals. He is currently talking with a Cow) COW: Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! : Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! BARRY: I had no idea. VANESSA: Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? BARRY: Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. MOOSEBLOOD: Sorry I'm late. COW: He's a lawyer too? MOOSEBLOOD: Ma'am, I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. VANESSA: Have a great afternoon! : Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. BARRY: No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. VANESSA: You're a lifesaver, Barry. Can I help who's next? BARRY: All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. VANESSA: Thank you, Barry! (Ken walks by on the sidewalk and sees the "bee-approved honey" in Vanessa's shop) KEN: That bee is living my life!! ANDY: Let it go, Kenny. KEN: - When will this nightmare end?! ANDY: - Let it all go. BARRY: - Beautiful day to fly. POLLEN JOCK: - Sure is. BARRY: Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. (Barry recreates the scene near the beginning of the movie where he flies through the box kite. The movie fades to black and the credits being) [--after credits; No scene can be seen but the characters can be heard talking over the credits--] You have got to start thinking bee, my friend! : - Thinking bee! - Me? BARRY: (Talking over singer) Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. : I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Can we stop here? SINGER: Oh, BarryBARRY: I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! SINGER: All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. BARRY: I had virtually no rehearsal for that

ok so. i’m going to reblog this like 15 times so it has to be seen by everyone 15 times. and i’m gonna lose all my followers <3

#submission

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kudosmyhero · 1 month

Text

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (vol. 1) #15: Dome Doom!

Read Date: June 10, 2023 Cover Date: August 1988 ● Writer: Peter Laird ● Pencils: Peter Laird ● Inks: Jim Lawson ● Letterer: Steve Lavigne ●

**HERE BE SPOILERS: Skip ahead to the fan art/podcast to avoid spoilers

Reactions As I Read: ● Daredevil name drop <3 ● heh, a sort of Dr. Doom name drop, too ● weird

● I’m reading some of the letters from fans. scathing! apparently I’m not alone in my “meh” feelings toward recent issues. one person writes, “The stories are slowly falling apart. Space-age, monster, future topics are not for the turtles. The Turtles belong on the streets.” agreed! later there is a pretty good smack-down of a karen named Bonnie ● 👏👏

Synopsis: This issue opens with Casey Jones, Raphael and Michelangelo checking out the comic books at Steve's Comics shop in Northampton, Massachusetts. As the guys search for cheap back issues, the store is attacked by weird little robots that crash through the front window brandishing maces. Raph, Mike and Casey start bashing the bogus 'bots as the shop's diminutive, long haired stock boy morphs into a costumed hero and joins the fray. Mikey smashes a robot and it flies into the forehead of the store's proprietor, an old gentleman named Stainless Steve… fortunately Steve has a forehead made of metal, so the head-on collision didn't affect him.

Once the robots are defeated, a holograph is projected from one of them. The image is of an ugly little man with a clear dome on the top of his head which reveals his brain. He announces that his name is Doctor Dome and that this attack on the Justice Force is but "a minor harbinger of the calamity to follow!" and then he laughs maniacally before the robot explodes and the projection is lost.

Mike, Raph and Casey are confused, so Stainless Steve explains the situation. Apparently the Justice Force is a retired group of superheroes and Dome is their old adversary. The appearance of the villain is as much of a surprise to Steve as it is to Raph, Mike and Casey. Stainless Steve uses an old J.F. communicator to signal the rest of the team, which consists of Stainless Steve, Metal Head (the stock boy), Captain Deadbolt, Zippy Lad, Joey Lastic the Rubberband and Battling Bernice.

Cut to Doctor Dome's headquarters where he's gloating over Steve falling into his hands and reuniting the Justice Force in Northampton. When they all arrive, Dome will "achieve his ultimate goal!"

Steve takes Mike, Raph, Donatello, Leonardo and Casey to his huge house out in the suburbs to introduce them to the Justice Force. The Turtles have offered their assistance in defeating Doctor Dome and his mechanical minions. As the group arrives at the front door, Steve remarks that he hadn't left it unlocked… but it is now. Everyone prepares for battle. Our heroes burst through the doors and are met by a costumed man in a wheelchair. "Zippy!" exclaims Metal Head as he rushes to hug his old friend. Joey Elastic is also there and the old timers explain how the years of wear and tear have taken a toll on their bodies and abilities, but they're still rarin' to go. We find out that Captain Deadbolt is missing and then the guys hear something on the roof. When Leo opens an attic window to find out what's going on, he's greeted by the sight of dozens of little robots, all armed with medieval weaponry. Leo and Casey get busy fighting the robots on the roof, while the others battle the invading machines downstairs. Our heroes win the skirmish in quick fashion, but are greeted on the front lawn by Doctor Dome in a giant robot that he dubs the Domebot.

Just then Battling Bernice shows up and kicks the giant mechanical beast in the knee, shattering it and causing the machine to collapse. Bernice then kicks out the windshield of the robot and drags Doctor Dome out. As BB holds Dome up by the collar and demands to know why the little villain is doing this, he explains that he wanted to bring her out of hiding, as he's been in love with her for 25 years and needed to see her again.

Bernice states that she isn't the original Battling Bernice, but her daughter, Ananda. Ananda tells Dome that her mother passed away 3 years ago, and that he has ruined his life by allowing her mother's rejection of him to turn him into a villain (apparently Dome had been a member of the Justice Force until he had a falling out with Bernice). As Ananda chastises Doctor Dome, Stainless Steve interrupts and offers the villain a chance for redemption—Steve asks Dome to move into his estate, where they can try to heal old wounds. Doctor Dome agrees.

Later, we see Raph and Mike on the porch of the farmhouse. Mike is reading an old Justice Force comic while Raph ponders how long the truce will last.

"Good question, Raph," Mike ponders, "I'd say they've got a 50/50 chance… time heals all wounds, right? Right?"

Raph stands in silence.

(https://turtlepedia.fandom.com/wiki/Dome_Doom!)

Fan Art: TMNT fan art 20 by Rcaptain

Accompanying Podcast: ● Shellheads - episode 23

#mirage #mirage comics #my other read #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #comics #comic books #fan art #fanart #shellheads #podcast recommendation

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onenicebugperday · 2 years

Photo

Bee-mimic deer nose bot flies, genus Cephenemyia, Oestridae

Found in North America and Europe. As the name suggests, this species attacks chiefly the nostrils and pharyngeal cavity of members of the deer family. Larvae hatch in the uterus of the female. She then seeks out a host, hovers near the face, and ejects the larvae near or into the nostrils of the host animal. A single host deer can have as many as 20 larvae at a time, usually attached to the base of the tongue in clusters. After they mature, the larvae are ejected by the host via the nose or mouth and pupate in soil. Adults have no functional mouthparts and do not feed.

Photo 1 by waldgeist, 2-3 by benjamin189, 4-5 by gillessanmartin, 6-7 by harkk, 8 by b_louboutin, 9 by waldgeist, and 10 (larva) by jakemccumber

#animals #insects #bugs #fly #diptera #bot fly #botfly #parasite #bee mimic nose bot fly #bee mimic bot fly #bee mimic deer nose bot fly #larva #maggot #one nice bug #boy i just love bot flies #look at their little faces

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luminous-shifting-vibes · 3 years

Text

actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

out of context of course, what do you take me for? a sane person?

"they made lightning mcqueen hot"

"inch resting"

"Nix: Cars (2006) several people are typing..."

"im evaporating"

"enjoy precipitation"

"tow mater is more attractive than lightning mcqueen/hj"

"lightning mcqueen looks like he would call me a slur"

"why did I come back to a discussion regarding the attractiveness of vehicles"

"lark is the braincell of shiftblr tbh"

"you all need some grass in your life"

"me over here simping for block men and now literal cars"

"didn't nick wilde commit fraud canonically"

"i have no strong opinions on whether or not nick wilde is attractive"

"I AM AROMANTIC AND I AM NOT IMMUNE TO NICK WILDE"

"I am bisexual and I. Am not into Nick Wilde based on a simple fact he looks like he will drink all my pepsi and call me names"

"What is shiftbkr but not a bunch of simps"

"cries in Bianca Monroe"

"listen i have a folder called gayass

it is mostly pictures of kyoka jiro and virgil sanders"

"Nick Wilde x Reader where he steals your car 📷 carjacker to lovers AU 📷"

"he says "mama i like to step on keyboard""

"MY MOM JUST WALKED IN AND I HAD TO TELL HER I WAS LOOKING AT LIGHTING MC QUEEN HUMAN FANART"

"crab walks away"

""Y/N..." Nick whispered into your ear. "Your car...is a Honda Civic, right?" You looked up at Nick with a baffled expression. "Nick, my beloved? Whatever are you talking about?" "Just asking..." He said as he let you out of his embrace. "Hey, wanna see a magic trick, babe?" Your eyes sparkled. "Really, Nick? Of course!" Nick smiled. "Ok, close your eyes!" You giggled and closed your eyes, waiting for Nick to tell you to open up. Instead, you heard the loud rumble of a car starting up, and you open your eyes. Nick has stolen your car, and he has driven off into the sunset..."

"did y'all know his name used to be canonically Montgomery--he changed it to lightning mcqueen to get rid of his past"

"That is my exit number"

"cars trauma arc"

"wait do y'all know about car jesus" "as if jesus wasn't a ford focus in the bible"

"oh yall do not want to know about the trauma in my cars dr lmao"

"Dewit tau style babey make Lightning McQueen outlive everyone and stalk their reincarnations"

"Do they baptize other cars in like gasoline then"

"there is a pope car in the cars universe which means car jesus died for cars sins"

"NOT THE BOOMER MEMES"

"-lays facedown on the floor while caramelldansen plays-"

"like im serious how many of you guys endorse me falling face down on my floor" (NOT THE SAME PERSON AS PREVIOUS QUOTE)

"I will be Tall and no one can stop me"

"is a soft floor?"

"stop I thought faceplant meant like a succulent in the shape of a face instead of falling onto your noggin for a solid 10 seconds"

"Touch some grass??? What about eating grass"

"what if for every employee of the month i just printed out really horrible boomer memes"

"what ab smoking grass /j"

"Can the grassdirt smoothie be a special in the cafe"

"PLEASE IM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR REWRITINH THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE WHIKE SPEEDRUNINT MINECRAFT"

"you have to get good dirt from like the middle of a pennsylvanian forest for it to taste good though"

"I ate a four leaf clover as a kid cause i thought it would make me lucky"

"guys how do i see the mee6 leaderboard"

"I used to think i was half dragon and I ate plants out of sidewalk cracks"

"i think i punched someone"

"my parents told me to stop doing that so I looked at them and ate a flower"

"I ate grass when I was 9 bc I read warrior cats and thought I was a medicine cat ....................."

"bees are just spicy flies"

"I had a mental breakdown when I was three cause I didn’t know how to turn off a phone"

"My mom drank a bee once"

"when I was a baby I kinned ink sans."

"bro who here find the yellow hat man from curious george fine as heck 📷📷📷"

"mY LUNGSSSSSS"

"no one topping Him"

"I like em big"

"I think Moto Moto has no game like move over hunky boy I could beat you 1v1 Roblox Arsenal 📷📷📷"

"If you didnt have a crush on springtrap, jeff the killer, or Underfell/Gaster/Error sans don't talk to me /j"

"LOOK THEY'RE BOTH DILFS WITH ABS THAT WOULD FIGHT GOD"

"ZORO IS BANNED"

"Guys please help I found my old fnaf fanart from when I was 8 I'm in literal tears"

"OH NO BOT MY FIFTH GRADE HAMILTON PHASE"

"The worst attraction ive ever had has to be Sombra Overwatch"

"My family is like "save all ur art so I can sell it when you're famous" I literally could not sell this if I tried"

"screaming puppet"

"I just remembered Ive drawn overwatch/hamilton crossover fanart"

"my hermit crabs ate each other again"

"we're cannibals ????"

"having me here is a curse you have inflicted on yourselves and I for one am glad for it <3" "scitters around like a crab in anticipation"

"CARB DAY"

"WE NEED TO HAVE A WATCH OARTY"

"hey y'all ill be right back i have to throw away a crab carcass"

"if I watch cars I'm going to start laughing in the middle of it nonstop just because the word cars is funny and also cars are funny like how do you move silly little metal box with rubber circles"

"Lark asleep post catboy pitbul"

"Mwista Wowldwide! Nya!" "hermit crab 2: electric boogaloo"

"Is that why your name is chaos"

"manifest the crab power!!"

"cool dex fact: i can't read 📷"

"sighs adds to worship these entities list"

"with a knife <3"

"yeah and if he betrays me I could probably throw him across the atlantic ocean"

"give me his eyes"

"my good citizen i am a- wait no im nonbinary nvm"

"it worked on a fish idk what to tell you"

"what is gender??? Is that a board game?? If so can I be apples to apples that one's my favorite"

"CHUTES AND LADDERS"

"anyways actually my gender is Candyland"

"Oh god romes the destroyer of friendships/j"

"i am a simple gay i see math i run in the opposite direction survival instincts 101"

"math my beloathed"

"algebra makes me want to rip open a bag of swedish fish and swallow them whole"

"cackles in they're au characters and this will be very fun"

"pog !!!! me too ksajgks one of my drs is a sanders sides au"

"Is that bipper"

"tumblr sexyman"

"Good because he’ll fuck u up if u hurt a child"

"I want a wing-suit"

"looks like a bean would poison someone"

"my hermit crabs are cannibals what can i say"

"sonic the hedgehog kinnie"

"get yourself a man who is capable of the most ungodly actions but won't do them because of their morality owo"

"tell him he can steal my wallet"

"eyes"

"idk about y'all but I need blueberry sweet tea to live"

"y'know the red souls from soul eater i really want to eat those"

"but like only respectable crimes like stealing from elon musk"

"You can go cultbashing with he!"

"He acts like a flamboyant gay man, but if a flamboyant gay man was straight."

"Simp Satan 📷"

"definitely arson"

"They look like they enjoy lemon squares and other lemon desserts"

"Satan is all-powerful but he spends most of his time building honeymoon locations because he is convinced that the protag loves him"

"bc shes the reincarnation of his dead wife or something i guess"

annd here's a quote from our very own dream (@shiftingwastaken) that sums this post up:

"shiftblr but context makes it worse"

#not shifting #shitpost #out of context #tw cannibalism #tw stealing #tw poison #tw swearing #tw: drugs #tw: smoking #tw: death

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bluedudewithatude · 3 years

Text

bluedudewithatude - Ten Years Later. [ooc]

Boy. Time sure flies, huh?

Yep. That's the very first post on this blog, exactly ten years ago.

Wow.

If you would have told me when I made this blog that I'd be posting on it ten years later, I wouldn't have believed you. But. Here we are. On a blog I made on a whim, celebrating how it's now ten years old. Just... wow.

... Okay. I'll come clean. Maybe I don't have the right to make this post with how I've been absent in the last few years, but Sonic Generations is why I made this blog, and the timestamp there says this blog is ten years old, so. I'm counting it.

Besides. I wanted to come on here, and... update you all. Talk to you. Let you know how I'm doing, and let you know something important.

... It's about time BlueDude came to an official end.

I know, I know. Why not just leave the blog in silence? Why not just... let it stay inactive? Why make this post at all, if all I'm doing is saying goodbye? Well, that's the thing. This blog means enough to me to give it an end.

This blog's seen a lot in my life. I've moved a lot, made lifelong friends, parted ways with friends I've thought I'd have in my life forever, gotten engaged to the love of my life, realized who I am (Trans rights!) and achieved my biggest dream as a Sonic fan and went to the Sonic 25th Anniversary Party. It's even helped me reconnect with some old family, believe it or not! And all of you were here for that.

That's why.

This blog was just a hobby, something I started on a whim, but it became not just a part of my life, but part of me. Running this blog meant so much to me. I had fun with it, but it also became an obligation. Even as I've not been around these last few years, every so often I'd think "I haven't been on BlueDude. I should hop on, make a post, reply to some asks and dust it off," but never gotten around to it due to other obligations. I also know thinking that as often, and frequently, as I have, isn't healthy. What is healthy, though, is moving on, as hard as it is to do.

Leaving BlueDude quietly wouldn't feel right, after everything the blog's been through. What's happened with it and what it's meant to me and all of you. I've kept this a secret for a long time, but BlueDude reached over 1,000 followers like... within the first two years. Which is... amazing! Incredibly impressive! And now it's... sitting at 4,000+? Like. Wow. So, how many of you are bots?

When I made this blog back when I was 17, I was scared that I'd never play Sonic as well as he deserved. Sonic was, and still is, my hero. I didn't think I could play him well at the time, nor did I ever think that I would... apparently do it so well, that all of you welcomed him and treated him like the real deal. I've always been honored, flattered, and humbled by it. I hope the advice Sonic's given you all these years has helped you and made you smile when you needed it.

I went from being unsure I could write my favorite blue hedgehog to enter Sonic fandom spaces and RP spaces to say "I run BlueDudeWithATude" to be recognized, and that... honestly just. Wow. I would have never expected that.

To all of you who have stuck by me despite my inactivity, and other things, thank you so much.

Now... I say this is the end, but it's not entirely. I'm not vanishing off of the internet or anything. In fact, I've got great news to share! Yours truly now works as a gaming journalist! I honestly can't believe I get to say that! I won't say what site I work for -- not really in the mood to doxx myself today, thank you -- but I might share it with those I trust privately. Either way, BlueDude might go without posts, but someday you might read an article about the latest Sonic game, see the name "Zack" attached, and smile fondly remembering me and what I've written on here. That would make me very happy. <3

And, truthfully, this is just a more formal goodbye in case I leave this blog to be silent again. I really wanted to give BlueDude a proper send-off, proper credits roll and results screen, so I had to reset passwords and get into some old emails just to make this post. So I may stick around to answer a few lingering asks and try and make some kind of dent in his ask box after it's piled up for years. We'll see.

Either way, I wanted to let you know what's happening, what I'm doing, and where I'm going next. Even if this blog doesn't get posts anymore, it'll still be part of my life, and I hope you'll remember my blog fondly.

I never expected this when I made this blog without any planning, and while thinking I'd never do Sonic justice. Just the fact that I could make fellow Sonic fans smile, laugh, and help them out in only the ways Sonic could, makes me feel very fulfilled.

From one Sonic fan to another, and from the Sonic you all welcomed and loved of the last ten years...

Thank you. Thank you so much for absolutely everything. <3

Catch ya later!

- Zackari, AKA, BlueDudeWithATude

#ooc

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freckledmountain · 3 years

Text

Lulling comfort

By @freckledmountain for @romeoandjulietyouwish

Rating: Gen

Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark

Summary:

"Music had gotten an entirely new meaning after that, from Disney songs to musicals to classic rock, and everything else in between. … He´d do anything to listen to Peter sing to them again."

Or, an AU where you hear whatever your platonic soulmate sings or hums! :D

For the @friendly-neighborhood-exchange

Read on Ao3

Chapter 1: Change

Some-

BODY ONCE TOLD ME

the WORLD IS GONNA ROLL ME

I AIN´T THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE sHE-ED

Peter´s endearing screech and dramatics at the starting notes startles a fond laugh out of Tony, making DUM-E beep in curious surprise.

The bot has a screwdriver in his grasp and usually Tony´d chastise him for grabbing tools without permission (he has not forgotten the last lab incident, thank you) but right now he´s much too preoccupied resisting the urge to join in the kid´s slumber party via his own singing.

God bless karaoke.

Peter had looked sheepish when he´d mentioned it to him, the little get-together his scary girlfriend and Ned had planned this weekend at the latter´s place after a ridiculously long week of exams. Tony had absolutely no problem listening to his kid´s voice in his head, but it was still sweet of Peter to ask beforehand.

“You know I work best with music anyway.” He´d said, remembering all the times he´d listened to Peter perform dramatically to songs on the radio.

Peter´d hunched his shoulders a bit, smiling. “Yeah, okay, okay, I just wanted to make sure because Ned might ask me to duet to Take on me again, and last time I sang it you were on a meeting and FRIDAY sent me that video of you mouthing the words and Ms. Potts looked like the disappointed dad from that Shawn Mendes vine- “

…even if he had no idea what the kid was talking about sometimes.

He´d gasped and placed a hand to his chest, feigning offence. “Have you forgotten the time you had Call me maybe on loopin my head for an entire day?”

“…It was a dare?”

“Hmm” he´d said, raising an eyebrow playfully as Peter dissolved into laughter. “whatever you say, bud.”

His smile softens unconsciously at the memory as he methodically tweaks a few things in his nanotech suit, still listening to Peter belt out lyrics in his head. Truth be told, he misses the kid working alongside him like usual, but he knows how important spending time with his friends is to Peter.

(The parenting books say it´s imperative too, although of course he hasn´t ever read, purchased five on a whim or fret over anything of the sort. Obviously.)

He hopes Ned and Michelle´s respective other halves don´t mind the kids crooning 80´s rock on a Friday evening, but he guesses if they´re anything like them, they probably won´t complain. Soulmates are cool like that.

He remembers all the times Rhodey had told him about his soulmate´s voice inside his own head, how he´d suddenly perk up and grin at whatever melody he could hear, how he´d start humming randomly to join in.

Tony had grown up hearing nothing but his own treacherous thoughts for the longest time, almost losing hope completely at the possibility of having a soulmate right up until adulthood. Heavy metal music blasted over his speakers constantly whenever he was busy in his workshop, but he never joined in. There were moments when he´d thought his love for singing would be soured forever, since apparently the universe or whoever was in charge didn´t have a problem leaving him without someone out there to share it with him in his head.

Thankfully, he always did have Rhodey, and boycould he kick-start the fun in singing again with his flawless Mariah Carey impressions. He´d loved the few times he´d heard Pepper sing too, and there´d even been one memorable instance where he´d surprised Happy vocalizing in an unexpectedly pleasant lilt.

Hearing Peter sing though...simply put, there was nothing else like it.

-and we could aLL use a little changeeeeeeeEEE

…Yes, nothing was quite like it.

Tony shakes his head, smiling, and grabs his phone to text May about the kid´s shenanigans. She´d been more than a little concerned when Peter and him had figured out who the other was, (that was one heck of a superhero fundraiser) but now they´ve become much closer, and Tony can genuinely say they´re friends. He´s glad to have her on his side, because May Parker is, in Peter terms, a very kind powerhouse, and not someone he´d like to mess with.

He´s about to press send when the lights in the room flash red.

Tony´s up and summoning his gauntlet attentively in a second, right as FRIDAY pulls up screens around him, showing footage of the emergency.

“What am I looking at, FRI?”

“Around 30 heavily armed machines have emerged in Midtown Manhattan, boss.” She responds, as the room fills with projections. The robots on screen are huge and ugly as heck, about the width and height of three school buses together. They´re making their way through the streets surprisingly quickly for how heavy they look. People run away, steering clear of their illuminated blasts. “They appear to be releasing high frequency blasts approximately every ten seconds. Local police have just arrived at the scene and are requesting backup, since the blasts are causing structural damage to the surrounding buildings. The source of these machines is unknown.”

“Tell the team to suit up and meet me there.”

“They have already been alerted, boss, but I´ll relay your message as well.”

The rest of his suit materializes around him, and he makes haste to get to the nearest window, half worried and half downright annoyed at whoever was behind this.

“Another one for the robot bingo card on means of world domination.” He says to himself, unimpressed. Just one week without this crap…

He soars above the sky nonetheless, blasting his way towards the fight.

Please stay put kid, he wishes, even as the singing stops.

---

Three blocks.

He´s three blocks away from where Peter is making his way back when it happens.

As big and fast as the robots are, Tony can tell they weren´t exactly made by the finest of the loons who regularly try to take over New York. Not to mention they´re absolutely appalling to look at, whoever designed these things had absolutely no taste, Tony thinks, crushing his twenty-second bot with the suit´s repulsors. It hasn´t exactly been easy, since the wretched machines have no real apparent motive but to blow up everything in their path, but within an hour it seems they´re done with the worst of it.

He can see Nat and Wanda dealing with the remains of one of the last ones below, while a little way away Cap´s talking with a few cops, scoping out the damage. Even though the air is permeated with smoke and there´s rubble in some places, there are no casualties, and they´ve thankfully emptied out the buildings that got wrecked. SHIELD will take care of the rest.

He flies over the skyscrapers, keeping an eye out for any other bots, but it seems like FRIDAY´s finished identifying all of them. He activates a private line on the comms to talk to Peter.

“Done securing the area from whatever that disastrous colour scheme was?”

He can hear Peter´s good-natured groan as his location pops up on Tony´s screen, six blocks away.

“I know, right? I can wear mismatched socks for a week and rock them no problem, but blue with like, eye-melting neon? Yikes.”

“Exactamundo. Couldn´t agree with you more, kid. But hey, it looks like you might actually be able to get back to your sleepover after all. Can´t wait to hear what alarming chorus is going to keep me up until midnight.”

“Oh you just wait, we´re doing ABBA next and it´s gonna be so-“

FRIDAY tears through the conversation with an alarm, but it´s precious seconds too late.

A gasp. An abrupt thud resounding through the comms. A scream. Peter´s.

Tony´s blood freezes in his veins.

“Peter? Peter!?”

He gets there in less than a minute and sees one of the bots with its blaster pointed at Peter, still smoking from the shot.

He obliterates it without a second thought, his mind swirling with fear and rejection at FRIDAY´s next words as he runs towards Spiderman´s crumbled figure.

“No heartbeat detected, boss”.

Chapter 2

The first time he´d ever heard Peter´s voice, he´d been running on three hours of sleep, a frankly heart-attack inducing dose of caffeine, and no motivation whatsoever to sit down with stuffy board members for five hours.

It didn´t exactly come as a surprise that for the first few milliseconds of the “Itsy bitsy spider” chant in his head he´d thought, confusingly, that it might just have been his mind finally resorting to the resurface of old nursery rhymes as a way to tell him to go the frick to sleep.

His heart however, was another matter.

As ridiculous and improbable as it sounded, a new something in his chest rose even before he knew what was happening. He might not have been a machine, but something slowly and irrevocably clicked into place the more he heard that gentle voice go on about water spouts and suns.

He´d stopped short in realization. Blinked.

And then smiled wide enough to lose himself in the mirth of it.

He´d run back to his workshop right after that, laughing like mad with the absolute mayhem of emotions coursing through his whole being, almost crashing into Pepper in the process. She´d looked back at him in concern, questions already forming in her lips, before Tony had frantically mimed at her to keep quiet, wanting to listen to the soft voice´s final notes.

Once the song finished, Tony may or may not have let out a loud shriek of sheer joy and told an increasingly delighted Pepper all about it, practically bursting with excitement.

“Pep! Wait, what do I do now!? Do I- Do I sing it back to him? Do I sing another- crap I don´t even know any children´s songs, JARVIS, JARVIS!”

In the end he´d had to phone Rhodey to yell the news ecstatically to him, because he´d just found maybe the universe hadn´t wanted to screw him over after all, and he felt like screaming it from the rooftops. The little voice was sweet and shy and boyish and happy, and about the best thing Tony had heard in his damn life. He couldn´t have contained himself if he´d tried, and heck if he was going to any time soon.

(“Tones, what- “

“Rhodey!”

“…was that you or a screech owl.”

“It happened! There´s- a little kid! Somewhere! Spiders! My soulmate!”

“The- wait what-? “)

Music had gotten an entirely new meaning after that, from Disney songs to musicals to classic rock, and everything else in between.

…

He´d do anything to listen to Peter sing to them again.

Burning.

He´s burning all over.

Screaming in pain, he tries to escape from the scorching heat, but it´s everywhere, it´s everything, he´s the pain, he´s the fire, everything hurts-

And then as soon as it appears, the pain is gone.

He opens his eyes, blinking woozily.

“Oh, thank God.”

His vision blurs all over for a minute. There´s dampness in the corners, left over from tears.

Tears?

He makes an attempt to sit up, but there´s a hand holding his shoulder gently. He blinks again.

Tries to decipher his surroundings.

He´s laying down in a mostly deserted, grubby looking street. A figure kneels close to him, some sort of red and gold robot type thing. He narrows his eyes at it, trying to figure out why it feels so familiar…but finds, to a detached kind of surprise, that he can´t.

He has no idea what happened.

The robot seems to be very relieved for some reason, just staring up at the sky for a couple of seconds, taking a deep, wheezy breath.

Even with his head feeling like wet cotton, he looks at him with concern. The robot sounds seconds away from fainting. Is he…alright?

When the robot´s face opens and a man´s head peeps out (cool!), he almost jumps back in surprise.

And then…

Well. He still doesn´t have a clue who this person is, but as soon as he sees the man´s expression of utter joy and relief, something inside him settles. Safe.

He blinks in confusion at the feeling. He knows this person. He does.

But who is he?

“Pete? You´re back bud. Do you feel okay?” The man´s (man? robot? man-robot? cyborg? figment of his imagination?) smile fades slightly, looking at him in worry. “FRIDAY” Friday? Who on earth is he talking to? “didn´t you say the CPR made his vitals-“

“I´m- I´m fine” he says, because enormous confusion aside, he is. Maybe his head is scrambled, and he feels exhausted, but he has a feeling he´s been in worse shape before.

A feeling.

The man (he´s decided on man) starts going on about robots, and getting him to a tower with someone called Dr. Cho, but all he can do is blink back, his confusion increasing.

“I´m really sorry” he interrupts, knowing he´s probably going to disappoint the man, but needing to push forward even so, “who- who are you? Are you-? “

He tries to put a word on the feeling seeing the man´s face had evoked in him before, tries to remember who he is or what he has to do with the man or why he feels so…safe. So safe. With him there, even with all the questions going round and round inside his head.

“Are you my dad?”

The man´s face stills. For a second, it looks like his brain short-circuits.

Mood, a thought rings out in his head, unbidden.

That´s when he hears it.

A huge metallic…thing coming through the street towards them, and he doesn´t know why but it makes his heart thump like a rabbit´s in a cage, and suddenly he gets a flash of remembering pain, and he knows these machines, these machines are dangerous, and what if the man gets hurt too-

He pushes the man behind him as he desperately tries to look for somewhere they can hide-

-but the man grabs his hand first and hurries them both towards the sturdiest-looking car on the street, crouching so they´re out of sight.

“Uh, alright. I- this must be really weird for you, but it´ll be okay. Just stay here for now, ´kay? I´ll- We´ll figure this out. You with me?” The man holds his gaze for a second, and it´s so sincere, he finds himself nodding.

The man smiles. “Okay. Give me a sec.” And then he gets up and turns towards the robot.

What the-what´s he doing!?

He reaches out clumsily to drag him back, but the man´s face gets obscured by his robot mask once more and he…

Flies?

The frick? He thinks in bewilderment, as he sees the man lift off and attack the robot with blasts coming from his hands. My maybe-dad can fly!?

Either he lives in a sci-fi novel, or he´s going absolutely nuts.

Could be both at this point, frankly.

The whiz of gold and red fighting the robot is almost quicker than his sight can keep up with, but he persists, looking out anxiously for any opening the robot might have to take the man down so he can try to warn him about it. There is none though, the robot might be exceedingly fast, but the man remains unyielding. He takes another look at the giant machine and sees it´s blaster-

And then it´s like someone takes his brain and shakes it around everywhere, and the throbbing is so sudden he kneels and clutches his head tightly to keep it from falling apart. His thoughts feel shattered and tampered with, and the pain-

He cries out in agony, and tears fill his eyes again.

The man! I have to look out for him!

He tries to listen to the fight again, but just as he tries to focus in on it it´s like a tsunami of yells and police sirens and voices washes over him, and noise, why is there so much noise-

Overwhelmed, he kneels until his forehead touches the grainy concrete, and wishes he would just pass out.

He doesn´t, though.

Among the oversaturated ocean of noise, one adds to the mix.

Except this one isn´t grating. This one doesn´t make everything seem like too much.

Because it feels like it´s coming from within himself.

He´s at a loss for what´s happening, but the voice slowly and lightly blocks out all the other noise, grounding him in a gentle tune. In a flash, he recognizes the song. He knows where he heard it last.

Mr Stark.

And he remembers.

“Kid? What are you doing up?”

He shrugs, sinking deeper into the couch cushions. Baby Tarzan laughs onscreen.

He half expects Mr Stark to push him for more details, but he seems to understand Peter´s not in a talking mood and walks up to him solemnly.

“Scoot.”

He does, and Mr Stark plops down next to him, wordlessly extending his arms out in invitation. Peter falls into the hug gratefully and sighs. Exhaustion pulls down on his bones, but he´d rather not get back to the nightmare he woke up from. Mr Stark snorts softly at something in the movie, and then they both jump a bit at the sudden loud gorilla roar. They keep watching the movie, and Peter´s curls are brushed back gently in a soothing motion.

He wants to sleep. But he can´t.

But he´s safe here, isn´t he?

His chest grows heavier as he thinks of the dream, and when he blinks, his eyelids dampen. He hasn´t shed a tear yet, but Mr Stark must sense something again because his hand at Peter´s hair stills.

And then he starts singing.

It´s a lulling comfort, and Peter melts into the embrace, allowing his tired eyes some rest.

He´s safe.

Come stop your crying

It will be alright

Just take my hand

Hold it tight

I will protect you

From all around you

I will be here

Don't you cry

He´s safe.

With a final shot from Iron man´s repulsors, the robot powers down, and Peter runs out to meet Mr Stark, almost crushing his ribs in a hug.

“Woah, woah!” The helmet´s visor pulls up, revealing a grinning Tony. “Did that actually work? FRIDAY told me you were freaking out and I thought it might help calm you down.” He says, hugging him back. “But it did more than that, didn´t it?”

Peter´s too relieved to do anything but nod happily into his shoulder, but he gets the point across.

They stay there for a full minute, just holding on to each other. Until Tony grumbles out a “and I can´t believe you remembered Phil Collins before Iron man, seriously.” and Peter bursts out laughing, lightening the mood.

“The man didn´t sing that soundtrack in five languages for nothing, Mr Stark. It slaps.”

Tony hides his smile in Peter´s curls, and hugs him close.

#Writing #The friendly neighborhood exchange #WHOOO #irondad and spiderson #I love them #platonic soulmates

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disneydude94 · 3 years

Text

Amphibia: Calamity War - Fan Trailer

Alright folks, I typed my new version of my fanmade trailer since the last time that I didn't know what's going to happen in the very first episodes of season three premiere. So I decided to update from draft to newer one. Here goes...

Took a leap through a box super weird to a swamp where frogs talk.

Now it’s done got no plans just my luck I’ll do the best that I can.

Making friends and enemies, it’s weird but hey it’s grown on me!

“I will rule not only this world, but all worlds!”

“You’ll never get away with this!”

“I give you this! I gave you everything!”

“We’re right with you Anne, til the end.”

“Me and Grime will hold him! Just go!”

“I just….. didn’t want to be alone.”

“No, it can’t be?!"

“Polly, get the box! Get the box!”

“Give him back. Give. Him. BACK!!!"

“I’m sorry……for everything.”

“MARCY!!!”

Marcy fell unconscious as the box fell when it sends Anne and the Plantars back home, but what they didn’t expect to see some cartoon characters standing in front of them and one of them recognize her face.

“Anne?”

“Mickey?”

It’s no big deal, yeah no big deal!

Anne give Mickey a hug by with tears flowing after the whole event. Then we switched to the part where Mickey and friends brought Anne and the Plantars back home to reunite with her family. Meanwhile in Newtopia castle, robot frogs are guarding and scanning for intruders. King Andrias summoned one frog robot to attack Anne and her family. The next part where we see Sasha tossed out from the window by Grime as they escape from the castle. Then it shows General Yunaan and Lady Olivia are standing in front of the huge door. Anne is driving a food truck with Sprig, Mickey, Donald, and Goofy.

Find a way to start again, brush off the dirt and make some friends!

(Mickey summoned his keyblade to face the killer frog-bot. Mr. and Mrs. Boonchuy pulled out their tools to help their daughter. Anne was startled Dr. Jan at the museum. Polly made a video chat with two girls from the workshop about fixing Frobo.)

It’s no big deal, yeah no big deal!

(Sasha steps on a journal and looked through it back at the Plantars Household. Marcy is in a state coma inside the large tube. Anne attack the frog-bot and we see view from Los Angeles where blue light burst into the sky.)

I feel at home in a place that shouldn’t be real.

(Anne kneeled and hugged her frog family. Marcy was having a nightmare when a black dragon with yellow eyes stalking from behind a dead tree.)

Crazy strange but it’s no big deal

(Anne putting on some disguises for the Plantars to cover their identities.)

"We'll get your friends back. I promise" - Mickey

"Ohana means family and family means nobody gets left behind." - Lilo

"Just let your conscious be your guide" Jiminy Cricket

"When the world turned it's back on you, you turned your back on the world." - Timon

"The only thing that is impossible is impossibility." -Phineas

"Even miracles take a little time." - Fairy Godmother

"Love is worth melting for." - Olaf

"If you do your best each and everyday, good things are sure to come this way." - Princess Tiana

"With great power, comes great responsibility." - Spider-Man

"No one's ever really gone." - Luke Skywalker.

"You poor simple fools. Thinking you could defeat me. Me, the mistress of all evil! - Maleficent.

It’s no big deal, yeah no big deal!

Maleficent unleash her dark magic as Anne, the Plantars, Mickey, and his friends are ready for battle. Spider-Man is fighting against Venom in the abandoned building. Anne and the Plantars went back in time when they're being chased by Carnotaurus. Anne ignites her lightsaber and face against Kylo Ren at Galaxy's Edge. Sasha and Ivy quickly became friends.

Find a way to start again, brush off the dirt and make some friends!

(Anne is playing basketball with her team against the Beagle Boys. Phineas and Ferb are rebuilding Frobo with Polly and Isabella. Anne open the front door revealing Dipper and Mabel.)

It’s no big deal, yeah no big deal!

(Timon and Pumbaa are offering bugs to Sprig with eyes sparkles while Anne felt a little uncomfortable. The Councils of Villains are in the meeting discussing their plan to rule worlds.)

I feel at home in a place that shouldn’t be real.

(Pluto is licking at Anne when pet sitting. The Boonchuys and Plantars are taking selfie in front of "Sleeping Beauty Castle".)

Killer birds but it’s no big deal.

(Sprig, Polly, and Hop Pop are exhausted while they were wearing their disguises until they spotted a regular heron. Anne, Dipper, Mabel, and their new friend kick the doors open together and we see government agents and FBI.)

Riding snails but it’s no big deal.

(Hop Pop was driving a golf cart with Perry and Doofenshmirtz when chased by frog-bots. Sasha raised her sword to defend Wartwoods. Anne was caught by Ursula using her tentacles. Sprig is fighting against a man with rollerblades and robotic arm.)

Eating flies but it’s no big deal.

(Polly, Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella are excited when Frobo comes alive. Sprig set an actual frog down gently. A giant step on its car crushing in front of the capitol with Christmas decorations. Marcy, Olivia, and Yunan are about to be transported.)

Finally me and it’s no big deal.

(Anne, Minnie, Pluto, Donald, Goofy, and her parents were looking at the sky where the frog robot blows up. Anne is sleeping with her mom inside their vehicle on their way home. Then we see a view of Los Angeles.)

Disney’s Amphibia: Calamity War

"Don't you think it's time to say goodbye to those childhood friends of yours?"

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norvicfiddler · 3 years

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Evil - S is for Silence

So it wasn’t an entirely silent episode, but it was a bottle episode.

OF COURSE Kristen has a sleep T that says ‘Boy do I hate being RIGHT all the time!’. Did her ‘boo’ really open the demon box? I don’t think anyone knows?

And they didn’t solve either of the ‘miracles’ they were sent to investigate, did they? Do bot flies stop corpse decomposition? And what about the whole stigmata thing? It’s like Ben went ‘bot flies!’ and they all thought ‘yep, that’ll do, let’s get out of here.’ What are they going to report back to the Bishop?

Kristen’s sleeping ‘quarters’! ‘Uh, what do we do with her?’ ‘I dunno, stick her in the creepy statue closet I guess.’ Wasn’t she cold in there? There was snow on the ground outside!

Loved the modern versions of the monks’ slates. Practical and amusing.

Hmm, looks like crooked exorcism priest got sent to the Monastery for his ‘rehab’. Wonder if that’s relevant to the larger picture. Might just be a small world in NY Catholicism.

They’re definitely going to start revving up the Kristen/David ship again then. Wonder why they let it go quiet for so long this season.

#evil cbs #cbs evil #self

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high-off-energon · 4 years

Note

Some of the tfp bots reacting to a Skywarp from before the war who's just a mischievous prankster who likes having fun and can teleport??

I had to read his basic description to understand his character and lord I love him he’s such a himbo

Optimus

He sees Skywarp as like, an edgy, flier version of Smokescreen. Not too bright on his own, and will not hesitate to prank any he deems worthy. Honestly? Optimus just sees another mech that he could adopt into his chaotic family. He’s got a special little clique for him called “Bumbebee, Smokescreen, and Wheeljack”.

Ratchet

Tired. He doesn’t want yet another, prankster on the team. They have enough. He doesn’t hate Skywarp though, he can’t bring himself to. He’s so different from Starscream that he wonders how he got into the same trine (ohh boy wait until he meets thundercracker!). Pre-war Skywarp is okay just as long as he leaves Ratchet’s workspace alone.

Bumblebee and Smokescreen

We all know how this one went down. “Hey, y’all wanna see something cool?????” *vwoops away* both of the boys: :000000 whaaat????

They love pre-war Skywarp. He’s like, a big brother, yet, like that really weird uncle that you see like once a year that you’re sure has like 5 slinkies hidden in his coat.

Arcee

Distrust!!! He flies!!!! He has con colors!!!!! Red flags from her end, however, Skywarp proves himself to be rather harmless when she finds that Miko’s once pink and black hair was now just pink, and Skywarp had a lot of pink on his fingers. She could see that he had a softer side, even though he was the biggest dumbass that would willingly prank Magnus.

#transformers #tfp #ratchet #Skywarp #arcee #bumblebee #smokescreen #tfp optimus prime #Optimus #Optimus prime

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real-jaune-isms · 3 years

Text

RWBY Volume 8 Chapter 12 Review/Remix: Creation

For only having a couple major set pieces, this was one of the most plot dense chapters we’ve ever seen from this show. Some of those were a lot time coming and satisfying as hell, and some came right out of nowhere to massive speculation and theorizing to follow. But goddamn if I didn’t love every minute of it, so let’s mosey on through to see just why that is.

We open, as many of these chapters have been want to do, with shots of the Grimm causing chaos and destruction, in this case Teryx attacking airships. JNR fly by in a ship of their own, and looking rather concerned as they approach Atlas Academy. Why the shot was framed quite like this I’m not totally sure, because it looks like they’re approaching the city itself from quite far away when really they should have been approaching from the outskirts and flying over the city itself, considering where the Schnee estate is located. Ironwood is waiting for Penny at the landing site at the entrance to the Academy, just as he and Ruby had agreed on, and he’s got a new toy. Both pistols of Due Process have been slotted into the back sides of a larger firearm, a veritable hand cannon that needs both grips just to keep steadily aimed. I think it’s safe to call this the Gun-gun we had been joking would be coming eventually since the early Volumes. The Ace Ops are backing him up, and we see a few Atlesian Knight robots loading the bomb onto an airship so he can nuke Mantle at a moment’s notice just as he warned. The citizens of Mantle are out of the mines and looking very apprehensive about the whole thing, and we are right there with them. Just as the bots have finished loading the bomb and are about to leave they start getting shot down. Ironwood warns the Ace Ops to be ready for any altered state Penny might be in and any trouble her friends might try to cause. Harriet is all to ready to follow through on the general’s terms and put down any brat who tries to interfere, and this whole thing seems to finally give Vine pause. He’s not stopping now, how can he, but he’s reflecting on the path to get here and only now has some amount of remorse about it. Elm winces at the mention of that too, while my MCU fan mind had to stop and chuckle at a pale bald man with energy powers musing on philosophy and ethics so close after the end of WandaVision. Not intentional, obviously, but a great coincidence. Ironwood gets a ping that there are intruders in the hangar, and they all surmise that’s Robyn and Qrow trying to interfere with the bombing. Harriet is ready as hell for a chance to beat them bloody after all this time STILL believing they’re Clover’s killers, but Elm makes a good point that they can’t just leave to do that because Ironwood will need backup here. Lucky for all of them, Winter is here to provide the general just that, so the other three are free to deal with their fugitive problem. With a quiet moment between them, Winter tries to see if Ironwood can be talked down one last time. He doesn’t want to hear it, and she admits she knows it would be impossible to try.

Penny soars in and lands in front of them, surrendering herself to a pair of cuffs and surprising Ironwood a bit in actually coming alone. She says she’s obeying his order because above all she wants to stop further death and she must open the Vault. The virus coming back a little to compel her to this end, or just frequently repeated phrase for the sake of simplicity? Unclear. Ironwood finally lowers the gun-gun he was pointing at her and puts a reassuring hand on her shoulder to tell her she’s done the right thing. In a cadence very much not her own, she agrees she has, and all illusions are dropped. It Was Emerald All Along!~ And JNR as well as Oscar are standing a few yards behind her along with the airship she must have been masking the approach of with the sound of “Penny” flying in. As shocked realization dawns on his face, James is kicked in the chin by a backflipping Emerald. His gun flies out of his grasp and she catches it with a grin before disappearing. Damn she really has been getting good with her Semblance! Down in the hangar, the Ace Ops arrive to see the jailbirds slicing and blasting a ton of robot soldiers. Just as they’re about to join the fray Marrow is heard giving a command and his former teammates are left frozen under the power of a Semblance they never seemed to give its due diligence. The assembled Huntsmen and Huntresses start attacking Ironwood and he counters the first few attacks rather well. I’m sure he must be pretty damn shocked to see Oscar still alive after shooting him into a pit, and for that matter probably Jaune and Ren too with what Harriet told him about their mission into Monstra. That and how little sleep he’s probably gotten recently make it very likely willpower and his Semblance are the only things keeping him going at this point, so who are we to be shocked if he starts losing to their superior numbers? And start losing he does, because Winter is on their side and helps Nora bash him upside the head. Winter and Oscar charge at James on the back of a summoned Manticore, but he grabs it by the horns and stops it dead in its tracks. So they leap off and Winter hits him in the back with some ice while he’s busy destroying the summon. With another glyph she springboards Oscar back at James and he gives him the old rapidfire cane jab. It knocks his Aura pretty low by the looks of the flickers, but he still recovers and stops Oscar on the next swing. Before he can punch the poor boy any more than Hazel already has in the last 12 hours, Winter does the most anime move these series has yet to offer us and darts past her old boss to slice him at lightning fast speed. It’s a badass sight that I cannot describe with enough words so please just watch for yourself. With that, Ironwood’s Aura is broken and he passes out then and there. Qrow and Robyn apologize for freezing the Ace Ops like this, but these times call for hard choices. Emerald reappears to get uncuffed and Winter tells the five of them to move on to Phase 2.

We flash back to the end of the last episode where Ruby decides taking Penny to the Vault might be a risk worth taking, and we see Jaune and Ozcar immediately pick up on what she’s thinking. Why not try and use the Staff of Creation and hope it can work a twofold miracle of saving Penny and all the people of these two cities? Just then Weiss gets a text from Winter, and the gears start turning in our minds how this whole plan came together. We see Winter shoving Marrow into an elevator and looking very grumpy about the whole experience. He correctly guesses she’s not arresting him, but damn if he doesn’t get why she had to punch him to get him outta here. She rightfully tells him it was to make it look believable and she just saved his life thank you very much. He notices she’s texting someone and asks whom, and she says getting in touch with Weiss for some help is something she should have done a long time ago. Just then the elevator doors open and we get the payoff to who Robyn and Qrow were so surprised to see last episode: These two. Winter quickly sees this as a chance for even more help, and I think it is the happiest she’s ever been to see Qrow. Shifting back to Schnee manor, Weiss is going over the risks of this plan of theirs to the other 10 teens. Oscar pipes up with another danger, Atlas falling as soon as the Staff is used for anything new. The cover story about Gravity Dust keeping the kingdom afloat was only half wrong, there really is a large amount at the base of the landmass that will slow the descent a bit, but it will still be a cataclysmic landing. Jaune suggests using the Staff to get everyone in the danger areas to somewhere safe, possibly even another Kingdom, but Oscar says it doesn’t just work that easily. Especially not with HIM involved. The Staff has a sentient presence you have to deal with to make anything happen, but he’s a real card this one. He gives you what you ask for and only what you ask for, so you have to be specific and provide details or even blueprints for how to make what you’re asking for. Lucky for them Whitley has access to the layouts of Atlas and Mantle due to preparing for their earlier evacuation plan, so they’re off to a very good start. Oz still worries about Ironwood and the bomb at this point, but Weiss assures him they have a good plan for that. And we just saw what that was and how well it worked.

So now we get to see what Team RWBY is doing while ORNJ is handling Ironwood and whatever else Winter is having them do, flying an airship up to the hole Oscar left in the bottom of the Vault and having Ruby use her new Semblance skill to carry the rest of her team and Penny up through that and into the Vault itself. Klein and the other Schnees are also aboard the airship cuz someone needed to fly it and they weren’t gonna stick around in the mansion after the Kingdom starts falling. Ruby can basically fly now, no big deal it’s totally fine this doesn’t make her OP as hell, WHAT???? Okay I’m done. They get to the Vault door and with a shoulder to lean on and a few supportive words Penny opens it no problem. In the split second before Penny starts self-terminating now that this objective is completed, RWBY zooms into the grassy meadow inside this cold winter Kingdom’s vault on another Rose Express and Ruby grabs the Staff. Time stops as we see Winter escorting James to a cell in the brig right next to her other manipulative father figure Jacques, OJNRE are in front of some sort of computer monitor, and various other shots of what people are up to at this second are shown. In a cloud of blue mist emerges a man every bit as big blue and naked as Jinn was, but while she was thicc he is jacked. I don’t know how to describe his light blue hair but it’s got a ponytail so that’s fun. He seems charismatic af with a voice many assumed was Matt Mercer but is not, and seems he’s still a little steamed over how boring a request making Atlas float was. Ruby gets his attention and we learn his name is Ambrosius. When faced with a request to stop Penny from dying, Ambros informs them a limitation of his powers is resurrecting the dead. So everyone theorizing the Staff could bring back Pyrrha, or Clover, or any other beloved character were disappointed to be proven wrong. But bringing back the dead isn’t what Ruby is after, and once Ambrosius sees for himself just how atypical of a girl Penny is he understands their intention clearly. He lets them know of his rules, he is essentially a monkey’s paw and what you get may be exactly what you asked for but not what you hoped to get. They knew about this technicality problem too, so they brought Penny’s blueprints and ask him word for word to “Make a new version of her using her exact same robotic parts”. The robot parts are what have the virus, and once they use the Staff to make something new that infected robot Penny will cease to exist. But if he only removes the robot parts that will leave behind the life and soul that truly makes her Penny. It’s also not within his power to directly destroy, apparently, but it wouldn’t be killing her because it’s leaving her existing with just her soul. Yang flexes her prosthetic arm to illustrate their point that the mechanical parts are just extra. Ambrosius is enthusiastic to give this a try, but he has no idea what the finished product would be, so Ruby encourages him to get a little creative with it. He’s eager to give it a try but does warn them he can’t guarantee what the results will be, but they insist they have no other options and he does a sort of dance in the air like a full body orchestra conduction. Penny starts floating in swirls of blue mist, and in a flash of white light one becomes two. With his job done, Ambros fades away with a wink.

All of Atlas starts shaking, and ORNJE take that as their cue to start their next task: broadcasting to all of Atlas and Mantle a warning that Atlas is falling. Jaune is the one to deliver the message after some troubles figuring out how to get it working, but before he can offer any reassurance that a plan is in motion to save the masses... the broadcast is cut short along with all communications in the Kingdom. My money is on Watts being responsible, but maybe it was Atlas command on a hunch of what Ironwood would want them to do. James himself didn’t tell them to cut it off, cuz he’s still unconscious in a jail cell. Speaking of those cells, Jacques demands answers on what the hell is going on from his eldest daughter. She asserts that they will be getting everyone to safety and leaving the falling rubble to Salem for all the good it’ll do her, but Jacques is still worried he won’t be among those saved. Winter hesitates but tells him that yes he will be evacuated too. He thanks her profusely but she refuses to accept that credit. If he wants to be grateful he has to thank Weiss for deciding to free him, and that news shuts him up right quick. Weiss has been his least favorite child, yet she’s still the one to show him mercy and kindness because that’s the sort of woman she’s always been and he tried to stamp that humanity out of her. What an ass he must feel like.

Back down in the Vault, two Penny’s stand before RWBY. One looks like we’ve always known her, but starts moving and jerking around robotically with red eyes and sparks flying out of it as it collapses to the ground. The other has bare human legs, no gloves, no power sign on her neck ribbon, a natural fabric bow in her hair, and aside from that is every bit the sweet and good girl we’ve come to know. Some people say this was a mistake or a bad move to take away what made her such a unique character but... they really didn’t. She was able to grow outside of the limitations of the body she came into existence with and now lives purely as who she has always felt herself being inside. And that’s pretty cool. She’s naturally very disturbed to see another version of herself collapsing and dying right in front of her, but feels a lot better getting to hug Ruby. Penny never knew a hug could make you feel this warm inside, and gives hugs to the rest of Team RWBY. It’s very very cute and we’re all glad to see she’s doing so well now.

With this taken care of it’s time to summon Ambrosius for the evacuation creation. He seems to have no concept of time because he doesn’t realize how little time has passed and is surprised to see they’re the ones who summoned him again. And considering how thorough they were with the last request he’s probably bummed he won’t get to pull a fast one on with a request this time either. They try and ask him to make doorways all over Atlas and Mantle that will all become a single doorway in Vacuo, but he requires too much complex metaphysics and space time bending to make that happen so they alter course. Make a central location all the doorways in Atlas and Mantle will open into, and then have a single door in that big new place that will open in Vacuo. He wants to know just what kind of central location they would have in mind, and Yang says he should make one that exists outside of Remnant’s reality just like the Vaults seem to. He commends them for being so smart about it, but acknowledges that could end up being foolishness instead. As a point of reference for the doorway system, or perhaps just for where in Atlas and Mantle they should be opening, Weiss shows him a series of blueprints for the layout of the Snowshoe shipping hub and how it connects to Atlas. Using that basis he makes dozens if not a hundred or two doorways all over the two cities. They’re big gold ovals with pale blue centers, and on the other side is a big empty black void with a series of narrow walkways without and sort of railings connecting all the portals to a single large one at the end of all the converging paths. Very dangerous if anyone ends up tripping or knocking anyone else over. People are very confused to see these things suddenly pop up, but we see Joanna hesitantly step through one and see just what the deal is. Realizing it’s their way out she seems to go back and tell the others. I gotta admit, the look of this large doorway in the midst of a barren rocky place like this gave me serious ending of Kingdom Hearts 1 vibes, and I half expected Mickey Mouse to be on the other side talking about the Door to Darkness. But that’s just me. Satisfied that the job is done, they thank Ambros who tells them they were indeed disappointingly thorough and they can go now. As they head out the broken robo Penny fades away to blue dust and real Penny is rather shaken to bear witness to that. Before he disappears into the Staff for who knows how long now, Ambrosius delivers one last warning about the world of doors and paths they just created. Do Not Fall. With that ominous warning ringing in their minds the five young women head into the doorway before them with the intent to go to Vacuo with everyone else and the hope in their hearts that they’re not forgetting anything important. We see Cinder wearing a hooded cloak in the midst of a crowd about to head into one of these portals, and it becomes very clear what important thing they may not have taken into account.

Time to wait 7 days to see what could possibly go wrong now!

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give-me-back-my-rhodey · 4 years

Text

Peter’s Baby Curls

This is a fic for the @friendly-neighborhood-exchange for @wordscorrupt

Rating: Gen

Warnings: n/a

Summary: Peter gets hit with a de-aging spell

AO3 LINK

Tony hates magic. Everyone knows that. He’s sure this is the reason why this evil witch decided to attack. On his birthday, of all days. He just wants to blast the woman to kingdom come, but he knows he can’t – honor and being better than the bad guy and all that blah blah blah Cap says. And the kicker of it is, he’s not supposed to be here. He’s supposed to be on vacation with his family, relaxing on a beach, but no, Steve had to take the Avengers to storm a HYDRA facility in Puerto Rico. Somehow, Capsicle gets the beach, and Tony is left fighting the witch on a stormy, windy day. It’s unfair.

At least Tony has Rhodey and Peter to help him. Cackling, the witch fires a spell at Peter. It hits him and he falls to the ground. The witch looks surprised, which gives Rhodey the ability to stun her with sonic waves and place the anti-magic cuffs on her wrists. Tony flies down to Peter, but all he finds is his suit, no Peter to be found. What happened to him? Tony is panicking when he hears someone crying. Ten feet away is a toddler that was not there during the fight.

The child cries and rubs his eyes in a way that is eerily similar to… no, it can’t be! Is it? It is Peter – Tony would recognize those curls anywhere. Stumbling out of the suit, Tony walks over to the boy. “Hey buddy. Hey, you wanna go home?” He asks.

“Aun’ May says no talk to strangers,” Peter sobs. “Go ‘way.”

“Do you want to call Aunt May?” Tony tries again. “Here, we can call her.” He hands Peter his phone. Tony figures the boy is 4 or 5 years old, but he isn’t surprised when he grabs Tony’s phone and dials in May’s number. She answers within three rings.

“Hi Tony, what’s going on?”

“Aun’ May?” Peter asks. “Dere’s a guy here who wantsa take me home. You said no strangers.”

“Peter?” She asks, voice getting higher with panic. “Peter, honey, the guy is Mr. Tony. He’s a friend of mine. Can I talk to him, please?”

Peter hands Tony the phone. “May.”

“Tony, what the hell is going on?” She interrupts him. “Why does he sound like he did when he was five?”

“He was hit with a de-aging spell. Can – do you want me to take him to your apartment?”

“I’m on a work shift. Take him to the Tower, but I’m going to ask my boss if he can let me leave now. Put Peter back on the phone and switch me to video call.” Tony complies. “Peter, honey, I want you to go to Mr. Tony’s, ok? I’m at work, but I’m going to leave as soon as I can to pick you up.” Peter’s lip starts to quiver. “Hey, Pete, Mr. Tony has some robots. Ask him if you can see them.”

The robots seem to distract Peter. He looks up at Tony. “Aun’ May says you has robots?” He asks excitedly.

“Yup. How about I take you home in my robot suit?” He nods to the armor behind him.

Tony can see the stars in Peter’s eyes. “Yes! Yes! Yes! Thank you, Mr. Tony!”

Quickly updating Rhodey, Tony picks up Peter, telling him, “You have to stay still,” and flies back to the tower. Peter looks in awe when he walks inside and sees the Roombas.

“Mr. Tony, this is so neat! Can I see your robots now?” He jumps up and down excitedly.

Tony grins. His bots will be so excited. “Sure, let’s go.” He gets out of the suit and tells FRIDAY to take care of it. Taking Peter’s hand, he leads him to the elevator. “I have three robots – their names are DUME, U, and BUTTERFINGERS. They’ll be so excited to see you.”

“Why did you name your robot dummy, Mr. Tony?” Peter’s childish giggle echoes in the elevator. “That’s silly.”

Tony leans close, as if to tell Peter a secret. “When I made him, all he wanted to do was run into the wall. After he did it ten times, I said, ‘get back here, you dummy,’ and he stopped and turned around. Now, he thinks his name is DUME so that’s what I call him.” It does his old heart good to see the pure joy on baby!Peter’s face.

When the elevator opens to his lab, Tony is surprised to see Bruce Banner working on a project. Bruce is apparently surprised to see him as well. “Tony! Hi!” He stops short, seeing Peter. “When did you have a kid?”

“Not mine. Hold on a sec,” He tells Bruce. “Pete, look, this is DUME. DUME, shake hands.” The bot enthusiastically reaches down to grab Peter’s hand. Peter takes the claw and shakes it, laughing happily.

“Hello, Mr. DUME!” He says brightly, and DUME had the nerve to look straight at Tony with a smug look on his claw. Tony scoffs at him and shakes his head.

BUTTERFINGERS and U fly over, hearing that DUME made a new friend. They quickly reach down to shake hands as well. “This one is BUTTERFINGERS. She tries to make me smoothies, but sometimes she puts in motor oil. And this one is U. She likes my video camera. She thinks she’s a movie director or something.”

“Nice to meet you, Miss BUTTERFINGERS and Miss U,” Peter shakes their claws, respectively.

Tony hands Peter a rubber ball. “They like to play fetch if you want to throw this. Just throw it that way.” He points to the end of the room. “Nothing over there can get hurt by the rowdy bots.”

After Peter starts to play with the bots, Tony turns back to Bruce, who gives him a worried look. “Tony, what is going on?”

“De-aging spell. I don’t suppose you would know when Thor is coming back, would you?” Tony asks. He knows Bruce has a crush on Thor, and vice versus, but he doesn’t think they’ve done anything about it yet.

Bruce blushes. “Actually, he’s coming back tomorrow.”

“Great. Maybe he can give some insight to this spell.” Tony sighs. “May should be here shortly. I don’t know what’s going to happen. He is adorable, though, isn’t he?”

“He’s an actual ray of sunshine. Ah, to be that young and not have a care in the world.” Bruce smiles wistfully.

The elevator doors open, and Rhodey walks in. “Hey,” he says and pecks Tony on the lips, “FRI said to come down here? What happened? Is Peter ok?”

“He’s ok, but he’s younger…” Tony gestures to the small boy playing with the bots. “Evil witch-bitch hit him with a de-aging spell. Thor’s going to be here tomorrow. I figured he might know. If not, I’ll have to go beg Strange.”

“Oh no, the world would actually end,” Rhodey deadpans, and sometimes Tony just doesn’t appreciate his husband’s sass. Actually, that’s a lie. He loves Rhodey’s sass.

He bumps Rhodey’s hip with him, giving him an affectionate look. He is about to reply when Peter runs back over. “Mr. Tony, can I have some water? I’m thirsty.” He stops when he sees two men he doesn’t know.

“Sure! Rhodey, can you grab a water bottle from my minifridge? Peter, this is Dr. Bruce, my friend and that’s my husband Rhodey. Guys, this is Peter Parker.”

Rhodey hands Peter a water bottle and holds out his fist for a fist bump. “Hi buddy. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too, Mr. Rhodey and Dr. Bruce.” Peter bumps Rhodey’s fist and takes a long drink.

Boss, May Parker has arrived. FRIDAY says.

Peter jumps up. “You have a voice in the ceiling! Mr. Tony, you are so cool! Can we go see Aun’ May now?”

Tony takes Peter and Rhodey’s hands, and they walk to the elevator together, Peter babbling excitedly about all he did today. When they get to the living room, the boy runs over to May and gives her a tight hug. “Mr. Tony is so awesome! He has robots and-and-and a ceiling voice!”

Thank you. May mouths overtop Peter’s head. “That’s great Peter! I’m glad you made some new friends. What next? Are you hungry?”

As if on cue, Peter’s stomach growls. “I guess a little bit.”

“Do you like mac n cheese?” Rhodey asks. When Peter nods, he says, “I made my momma’s recipe for dinner last night. Do you want me to heat some up for you?” Peter enthusiastically assents and follows Rhodey to the kitchen.

“So, what happened?” May asks once Peter is out of earshot.

Sticking his hands in his pockets, Tony rocks back on his heels. “We were fighting a witch, and she hit him with a ‘magic’ beam. It immediately made him a toddler. That’s all I know about it. Bruce said Thor’s coming home tomorrow. I think he’ll be able to shed a little light on it.”

“What am I supposed to do? They’ll kill me if I ask off because right now is our busiest season, but I never left him alone back then. He was too young.”

“If you want, I can ask him to have a sleepover. I can ask Harley to come and spend time with him. And you can just come for dinner or whatever.” Tony suggests.

Visibly relaxing, May says, “If he will, I would be all for that. Let’s ask him.”

The two of them walk into the kitchen and melt at the sight in front of him. Peter is sitting next to Rhodey eating mac and cheese, getting it everywhere, even in his hair! Every two bites, he would offer one to Rhodey, asking, “Share?”

“Oh, my goodness! Those curls! I forgot how curly his hair was at this age!” May coos, which causes Peter to look up and wave, accidentally throwing pasta across the table.

May takes the seat on the other side of Peter and asks, “Hey Pete, how do you feel about a sleepover?”

“A sleepover?” Peter lights up, then questions. “Will you be there?”

“Well, do you want me to be there?”

“Yes.”

May wilts. “I can be there at night, but I have to go to work in the morning, ok? Mr. Tony asked if we wanted to sleep over, and then, when I go to work, he’s going to bring a friend over. His name is Harley.”

Peter quickly agrees, and Tony texts Harley to come the next day. He also sends a private message to Steve, explaining what happened and asking him to inform the others. Tony then tells Pepper he’s taking the day off to partake in “Irondad” activities, as Clint had dubbed it. Finally, he and the other sit down and watch Finding Nemo before going to bed.

FRIDAY wakes Tony up when May is ready to leave for work. Getting a cup of coffee, he sits on the couch outside Peter’s room. He works on specs on his Starkpad until the boy wakes up and comes out of his room. “Good morning Peter, you hungry?”

“Yea…” Peter yawns. “Do you have pancakes?”

“I can make them – do you want chocolate chip?” Tony smiles at how quickly Peter wakes up.

They are eating breakfast when Harley walks in. “Hey Mechanic. Is this Peter?” He asks.

“Yes. Peter, this is Harley. Harley, Peter.”

Peter smiles at Harley with a mouth full of chocolate chip pancake. “Hi Harley! Want some breakfast?”

“Sure.” Harley pulls out his phone and takes a picture of Peter eating his pancakes, chocolate chip stains on his face. Peter is going to kill him when he gets older.

Tony spends the day playing games with the boys. Peter attaches himself to Harley very quickly, and even though Harley acts a little prickly about it, Tony can tell he’s loves it.

The other Avengers get home and introduce themselves. Everyone sits down to dinner when a loud sound tells them that Thor has arrived from Asgard. He walks in five minutes later, announces himself, and gives Bruce a big smooch. So, they did do something about their crushes. Tony surmises.

Thor takes one look around the room and latches onto Peter. “Hello, and who is this young man?” He asks.

“This is Peter. Peter, meet Thor.” Tony says, sending a message to Thor with his eyes.

Tony’s not sure if Thor got his message, but Thor simply says, “I see. It is a pleasure to meet you, young Peter. Is there food enough for me?” When Tony nods, he takes a seat between Tony and Bruce.

Clint grabs Peter’s attention by doing some kind of childish stunt, and Thor asks Tony quietly, “Is this Peter Parker?”

“Yes, he was hit with a de-aging spell. Was wondering if you know anything.”

“It looks like simple spell-work of an inexperienced magic user. These spells last three days, at the most. With his quick healing, he should be back to normal sooner than later.”

Once dinner is over and everything is cleaned up, everyone settles down to watch a movie. Peter chooses Hercules. By the time the movie is over, he is sleeping on top of Harley, cuddling him. Harley is sleeping as well. Tony throws a blanket over them, and everyone filters out of the room.

He can’t stop laughing when he is woken up in the middle of the night when Peter and Harley wake up screaming because Peter reverted back to his normal age. Maybe they’ll get their heads out of their asses and go out on a date or something.

#irondad and spiderson #the friendly neighborhood exchange #background irohusbands #background thorbruce

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areiton · 4 years

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heartbreaker - ironhusbands

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~*~

You call him heartbreaker.

He laughs and shakes his head, calls you Rhodey, platypus, honeybear, his.

You don’t argue because this is true enough--you’ve belonged to Tony Stark since the moment you laid eyes on him.

~*~

You call him heartbreaker and he thinks you’re teasing. He leaves a swath of lovers behind him, pretty girls and prettier boys, all with shiny hungry eyes. Some of the people he fucks are using him, eat up his time and money and the lavish presents and when he moves on, because he always moves on, they don’t get hurt.

But you see the ones who do, the ones who watch as he walks away, already distracted by a brilliant world-changing idea, already chattering in your ear, already smiling for the next pretty thing, and you see the heartbreak in their eyes, the longing and want, the ache for more of him, because how can a tiny taste of Tony ever be enough.

~*~

You call him heartbreaker, but you call him other things, too.

Call him idiot, when he’s three days deep in a science binge, vibrating with lack of sleep and too much coffee.

Call him rich boy when he throws money at you to make your scowl go away, when he, thoughtlessly kind, takes care of the hospital bills after your sister is in a car accident.

Call him pain in the ass, when he drags you out to watch a meteor shower, keeps you up all night and passes out without setting the alarm clock.

You call him brother, and Tones, and sweetheart when he’s fragile and shattering under his father’s expectations and disdain. You call him genius and peacock every day, just to see him grin at you, wild and brilliant the way he never is with anyone else, all his masks stripped away.

You call him Stark when you fight with him, when he bullies you about a SI job, about your military career.

You call him asshole when you storm out and when he chases you, screaming and scared.

You call him baby, when you deploy, and thumb away his tears, and when he smiles at you, a tiny tremulous thing, you call him heartbreaker.

~*~

You always thought that loving Tony was the hardest, best thing you’d ever do.

You stopped lying to yourself about that, about loving him, years ago. There’s no point in lying about something that’s written into your bones, a part of you as much as your military service is, as much as flying is.

You call him heartbreaker, still, but not as often as when you were in college, and sometimes, when you do, you see sadness flicker in his eyes.

~*~

They die, and he calls you.

And because he is yours, because you love him and he is your brother and your best friend and everything good in your world--you go.

You hold him when he cries, hold him when he drinks himself stupid, hold him as he throws up and when he’s exhausted, when he’s limp with grief and sprawled across you, you kiss his forehead, his sweaty hair and you begin piecing him back together.

~*~

You love him, and you hate him, sometimes. For loving someone like Ty and a snake like Sunset, you want to hate him.

You want to hate Pepper too.

He looks at you, eyes brilliant and wild, and his grin honest and open, and it feels like yesterday when you sat in a dirty apartment at MIT, and he was yours, and you were his.

You stand next to him and feel a million miles away.

~*~

You love him, and you never never tell him.

You call him heartbreaker because this is what you have to remember.

You love him. And you think--you think, if you gave the word, Tony would spill into your bed, and light up your world. Sometimes, you fuck up into your hand and think about it, about him, bright and wild, grinning and riding you, all sleek muscles and hips under your hands, and his body tight around your cock, and you know it would be good.

You call him heartbreaker, and you remember where he earned that name, the shattered pretty things he left in his wake at MIT.

Loving Tony is hard, and you swore, a long time ago, that you wouldn’t let it destroy you.

~*~

The world blows up in a roadside bomb and Tony is gone in the aftermath and you are left standing there, alone.

Your heart breaks.

~*~

You search for him.

Your told that it’s a waste, that you’re destroying your career chasing a man who is dead. Stane shakes his head in pity. Your CO orders you to stand down. Your mama cries and tells you to come home. Your men watch you with worry and concern blatant in their eyes.

Pepper stares at you, eyes rimmed red and fury in every line of her slim body and orders you to bring him home.

“I will,” you promise.

~*~

You search for him.

The desert is endless and merciless and empty and every day that ticks by with no word, the world goes a little bit dimmer and your heart breaks a little bit more, and you want, more than you’ve ever wanted anything, to have him back, to drag him into your arms and kiss him and tell him the truth.

You want him to hear you say it, want to tell him you love him, and damn the consequences.

“Please, heartbreaker,” you whisper into the dark and go back out to look for him.

~*~

A pocket in the mountains blows skyhigh and you are chasing after it in minutes, praying for a miracle three months after everyone has decided he’s dead.

And because he’s Tony fucking Stark--genius, peacock, pain in the ass, idiot, brother, Tones--he’s there, throwing up his hand and falling into the sand, and you catch him, pull him close, your beating heart held in your arms and he clings, and whimpers, his voice cracked and breaking, and shaping your name, and you pet his hair and hold him and whisper, “I got you, sweetheart. I got you.”

~*~

Tony has a machine in his chest, demons in his eyes, and ghosts in his nightmares. He clings to you, and you let him. Push the doctors away, gentle but firm and clean him up with steady hands, and soft murmured words, and his trembling eases.

You drape him in your shirt and button it over the arc reactor he isn’t talking about, and let him pull you close with kitten weak tugs, curl in bed around him, and he shivers.

“Thanks for finding me,” he mumbles, just before he falls asleep, pressed against your chest, and your heart hurts.

Damn him, he hurts you.

“I’ll always find you, heartbreaker,” you murmur.

~*~

You tell him.

You swore you’d tell him, and if the price of getting Tony back safe and alive is losing your best friend, you’ll gladly pay it.

You tell him on the plane home, when he is trapped and you have a moment alone, say it simple and plain, “I love you.”

“Love you too, honeybear,” he mumbles, and you catch his hand.

Call him, “Tony,” and it snags his attention, draws his gaze to you, wide and startled. You call him many things, but you never call him that.

“I love you, Tony,” you say.

He smiles, and it’s brilliant and wild, and a little shy. “I love you too, James.”

~*~

You fuck him after the press conference, when you’re pretty sure you should be furious and all you can be is relieved, and he’s hot and desperate under your hands, and his mouth is a fucking revelation, hungry and demanding on yours, biting down your throat, whining pleas and murmured nonsense into your chest.

You fuck him until he’s sobbing with it, and you’re shaking through your orgasm, hot and deep in him, and he rolls his head to smile at you, kiss you sweet.

“We shoulda done that years ago,” he mumbles, and you laugh and kiss him again.

~*~

You call him heartbreaker.

And you keep waiting for him to break yours.

You’ve always known that’s how it’d go, if you let yourself love him, if you let him love you.

You call him heartbreaker and you wait and you snatch every kiss and mind-meltingly perfect day you have in the meantime.

~*~

“Hey, Rhodey?” he says, and you look at him, sated and sticky and sore in the very best way.

“Heartbreaker?” you drawl and his expression twitches.

“I won’t, you know.”

You go still and he sits up, naked and unashamed as he straddles you. “I won’t ever break your heart, Rhodey. You have to know that.”

You stare at him, and he smiles, a little sadly and kisses you gently. “I’ll show you,” he promises.

~*~

And he does.

You wait and you wait and you eventually quit waiting because you’re too damn busy being happy, too damn busy living and if he breaks your heart--you think it’ll be worth it.

~*~

He almost dies, and he flies a nuke into space, and he almost dies and every time--he comes back to you, apologetic and sweet, and begging you to forgive him, and piecing your fractured heart back together.

And you get it, really get it, about the time you watch him put his bots back together, and leans into your arms, and his gaze is wild and brilliant and honest the way he always is with you.

You don’t really think, after that.

~*~

“Hey, heartbreaker,” you say and Tony frowns, a little as he looks up and then he goes still, utterly. Your heart pounds too hard behind your chest. “Wanna get married?” you ask, softly, holding out the red and gold band.

His smile is wild and brilliant and beautiful.

~*~

You call him a lot of things. You call him heartbreaker, still, if only to see the petulant scowl on his face when you do.

Your favorite thing to call him by far is husband.

#ironhusbands #rhodeytony #ironhusbands fic #arei writes fic #james rhodes #tony stark

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itsanerdlife · 4 years

Text

Come Back to Me 2/20

Pairing: Clint Barton x Coulson’s Daughter!Reader

Warning: Angst. Drama. Struggles. Violence? Lying. Anger. Soul shattering ache in your chest. Self hate. Doubts. Plot twist!

Everything slips right through his hands in the blink of an eye. Clint Barton can fix anything. World Ending? Save it. Bad Guys? Take ‘em out. The love of his life, his soul mate, forgetting their whole relationship? Fight even harder. She might not remember what they have. She might be confused, lost, scared, but it’ll be a cold day in hell if she thinks he’ll give up that easy. He’ll do anything he has too. Help her remember, or make her fall in love with him, all over again. But what if it’s not him that she’s getting close to this time? What if it’s a losing fight? Is he supposed to watch the woman he loves, fall for someone else? Like hell, is he letting that happen.

Tag List Is Open!!

Two Years Before

Your body slams into the cold snow. You roll over, scrambling for your gun on the ground. Your hand lands on a chunk of ice. You shrug, pushing yourself up.

You whip it, hitting his head. He stumbles, kick to the middle, bends him. Your knee swings up connecting with his jaw, snapping his neck with the force. You step over his body finding your gun.

“Y/N that was strangely hot yet disturbing.” Tony clicks in.

“Stark.” Clint warns.

“She’s clearly been spending a lot of time with Romanov.” Tony chuckles.

“Actually Steve taught me that.” You grin, hoping on the back of Steve’s bike.

“How’s that make you feel Barton? Your girlfriend getting all hot and sweaty with the perfect specimen while you look like, that.” Tony chuckles.

“Mission at hand guys.” Steve sighs. You stand, taking aim over his shoulder. Picking off guards as he speeds down the trail.

“And for God sakes, watch your language.” Tony sasses.

“That’s not going away anytime soon.” Steve sighs.

“You should know better Cap.” You laugh. “Thor catch me!” You step up on the seat. Pushing off, you leap into the air.

“Gotcha.” Thor chuckles, catching you in large arms.

“Good man.” You pat him on the chest before he sets you on your feet.

He spins you around, planting you behind his large body. You hear the hiss and crack of lightening. You pull your weapon, picking off the men running down the small hill not far from you and Thor. You and Thor exchange a look, before taking off together.

“Clint’s been hit.” Nat announces in a mild panic voice. Your body whirls, heart hammering in your chest.

“Go.” Steve nods.

“Nat, what’s happening?” You demand, running through the woods. Picking off shots not bothering to slow down.

“Deep, wide, side shot. It’s patchable.” She explains. “Can someone take care of that bunker?” She asks. You break through a short distance from them. Banner rips through the bunker, you dodge, avoiding cast off. “Thank you.” Nat coos. Dropping to the snow on your knees.

“Can’t leave you alone for ten minutes.” You look down at Clint. He chuckles, wincing.

“Had to get your attention somehow.” He smirks at you.

“Always so jealous of boys bigger than you.” You tsk. He winks up at you.

“I’ll get Barton back to the jet.” Thor is approaching the three of you.

“Thanks big guy.” Clint groans.

“I’m coming with.” You stand.

“Nat, it’s time for a lullaby.” Cap orders. Nat nods, getting up.

------

“You all are just not worthy.” Thor chuckles, the rest of you laughing.

A high pitched screech makes all of you wince. You shake your head, rubbing your ears. Everyone shifts at the groaning and metal clanking.

“How could you be worthy. You’re all killers.” The voice, a suit mangled stumbles into the room. Rambling on. Clint pulls you up from the floor. You both shift, feeling the team tense up as the suit carries on. Ultron. “But I’m ready. I’m a mission.”

“What mission?” Nat asks. Clint shifts, ready to move. Your hand dips under the skirt of your dress. Your fingers twitch.

“Peace of our time.” The walls blow behind him. Your body hits Clint’s before he can. Pulling your pistol free. You hit the floor, and roll, shooting at the rogue bots.

“Where did that come from?” Clint looks down at you, surprised. The room bursting into chaos around you.

“Leg holster.” Your breathe came fast.

“We gotta move.” He grabs your hands pulling you after him. A blast at the back of your heels, separates the two of you. You hit the ground rolling, aiming to fire. Clint slides under cover.

“Clint?” You call.

“Good.” He calls back. “Y/N. Cho!” He orders.

You jump to your feet, loosing both heels. Random fire, you rush for Cho hiding by the piano. A half bot hovering in front of her. You place a bullet to the back of its head. You put your hand out for Cho’s, pulling her up.

“You okay?” You ask. She nods, standing on shaky legs.

“That was dramatic.” Ultron hums.

You hurry towards Clint, he takes your hand, pulling you close so half his body shields yours. You drop the clip on your gun, tucking your hand into Clint’s leather jacket pocket you pull a secondary clip. He looks over, brows pulled in. You slam it into place and cock your weapon. Ultron on another ramble.

“There is only one path to peace. The Avengers extinction.” Thor’s hammer flies through the mangled bot form, creating scrap metal once more.

The room shifts. Tension growing wildly thick. You could taste with each breathe. You uncock your weapon and slip it back under your dress.

“Are we all whole?” Maria looks around.

“Banner?” Steve turns.

“Not green.” Banner lifts a hand. Everyone sort of relaxes slightly.

“Are you okay?” Clint turns, his hand cups the side of your neck.

“I came armed. Do you really need that answered.” You smile at him. He smiles softly, looking relieved. He presses a kiss to your lips.

------

“Want to trade out?” Tony asks him.

“No, it’s fine. I’m good. If you want to get some shut eye, now is the time. We’re still a few hours out.” He explains.

“From where?” Tony wonders.

“Safe house.” He swallows. Knowing the woman he loves, the only family they had, were in no shape. No where was safe for them currently. Except the one place, that nobody but the two of them and Fury knew about.

When they land, he helps Y/N down the ramp. The others look confused, looking around for some answers.

“Barton, what is this place?” Steve wonders.

“A farm?” Banner looks confused, holding up a drained Nat.

“It’s off the grid, nobody, not even Ultron can know about it. It’s unfindable.” He nods.

“A safe house?” Tony lifts a brow.

“Sort of. It’s ours.” He shrugs, opening the front door.

“Like you and Y/N?” Nat looks confused.

“Yeah. We bought it about a year ago.” She smiles stepping through the front door, he follows. The others exchange a look before doing the same, shuffling into the farm home.

“You bought a house together?” Tony looks confused.

“Well we talked about what if one day we retired. We didn’t want to always live in the tower.” She shrugs.

“How often do you come here?” Steve looks around.

“Every few months, like a vacation.” He smiles at her when she drops on the couch, with a sigh.

“So your idea of a vacation is a normal life?” Nat wonders, sitting down next to Y/N.

“If we save Bucky, don’t you think you would want the same?” Y/N looks over. Nat’s head tips, thinking about this.

“I never thought about it like that.” Nat admits.

“You and Buck having a normal life?” Steve wonders, taking a seat in the chair.

“I don’t think much past finding him.” Nat swallows.

“I can’t believe you and Barton have a whole life we never knew about.” Tony scratches the back of his head. “Are you married too?” He looks around.

“No Tony, we’re not.” Y/N laughs softly. “We would never cut you out of that.” She smiles softly. Nat grasps her hand tightly.

-------------

Everything Peaches 9/3/19 @mo320 @courtmr @avxgers @eliza-kat @irepeldirt @jordan-ia @jcc04220 @dumblani @nishanki1 @allyp1023 @joannie95 @rogvewitch @rileyloves5 @sarahp879 @sexyvixen7 @doctoranon @queentoffee @abschaffer2 @tony-stank3 @tomhardy41 @bookluver01 @drayshadow @teller258316 @nickimarie94 @wandressfox @cutekittybast @amandab-ftw @carostar2020 @thelostallycat @henrietteoaks @nea90sweetie @circusofchaos @bettercallsabs @miraclesoflove @queenkrissy11 @shield-agent78 @elite4cekalyma @sadyoungadult @destiel-artemis @isabelcrichards @iwillbeinmynest @sweet-honey15 @scooby-doodoo @chanelmadrid13 @killerbumblebee @spookygrantaire @geeksareunique @supernatural508 @itzmegaaaaaaan @optimistic-babes @elizabethaellison @rainbowkisses31 @aspiringtranslator @mariekoukie6661 @pure-princess-97 @capsheadquaters @youclickedthislink @futuremrsb-r-main @lovemarvelousfics @notyourtypicalrose @petersunderoos96 @loving-life-my-way @itsy-bitsy-spidergirl @buckystolemyheart @booktvmoviefangirl @thatpeachybandgirl @supernatural-girl97 @thefridgeismybestie @eggingamazinglove @deathofmissjackson @awkwardfangirl2014 @queenoftheunderdark @laneygthememequeen @writingaworldofmyown @death-unbecomes-you @shann-the-artist-moon @supernaturallover2002 @daughterofthenight117 @mcuwillbethedeathofme @verymuchclosetedfangirl @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @ocaptain-mycaptainmorgan @crazy-little-thing-called-buck @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @stupendoussciencenaturepanda @supernatural-strangerthings-1980

Clint ‘Destory Me, I’ll Thank You’ Barton: @ml7010 @sfreeborn @tanelle83 @coley0823 @xxloki81xx @boltsgirl919 @carissime72 @katpatrova17 @honey-bee-holly @marvelfansworld @badassbeckettswan @fallinginlovewithqueue

CBTM:

@lakamaa12 @alina-barnes @notyourtypicalrose @thedoctorlivesthroughbooks @jamesbarnesappreciationclub

#Marvel #Clint Barton x Reader #Avengers #Clint x Reader #Come Back to Me #Marvel Fanfiction #Clint Barton Series #Avengers Fanfiction #Hawkeye Series

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rubyspearsmegamanproject · 3 years

Text

35. Leader Of The Pack

The episode begins with a view of the city. Some robot robbers are cutting through a crowd. Mega Man is chasing after the robot robbers. Mega Man fires at them. His shot hits one of their lower legs. The robotic robber stumbles. He falls down onto the ground. The other robot robber is still running away. Mega Man goes after him. He runs after him as fast as he can. A robot biker gang is watching the whole situation unfolding. The gang's leader tells them "We should help them!" "Let's get 'em!" the leader shouts out. The gang drives their motorcycles in front of the robot robber to block him. The robot robber is a bit intimidated by the biker gang. He ends up surrendering. Mega Man thanks the biker gang. The gang members all give Mega Man a thumbs up. The police bots and Mega Man manage to capture the robot robber. Some of the citizens congratulate the robot biker gang. Roll is interested in their leader. Roll walks up to the gang leader. She introduces herself to him. "Hello there! I'm Roll!" Roll says to him. The gang leader tells her "You're really pretty!" She is flattered by his complement. He asks her "Would you like for me to take you back home on my motorcycle?" Mega Man butts in and tells the gang leader "No thank you!" The gang leader says to Mega Man "I see you're her boyfriend..." Mega Man angrily cries out "Boyfriend!? I'm her brother!" The gang leader calmly says "I'm very sorry about the misunderstanding there..." Mega Man replies "Yeah...sure..." Mega Man tells Roll "Come on, Roll, let's go home..." Roll says her goodbyes to the gang. Mega Man barks out to Roll "Come on!" Roll waves to the gang leader, who waves back.

Back at Dr. Light's Lab, Mega Man chastises Roll for talking to the biker gang leader. He tells her "That guy could have been dangerous!" Roll tells her brother "He didn't look dangerous..." Dr. Light overhears their conversation. He comes into the room. He asks the two "What's wrong?" Mega Man tells Dr. Light "Roll here was conversing with a robot biker gang!" Roll tries to defend herself. "But they helped Mega Man catch those robot robbers!" she claims. Dr. Light is slightly distressed that she has spoken to a biker gang. He tells her "Mega Man is right! They could have been dangerous!" Mega Man says to Dr. Light "That's what I've told her!" Roll scowls a bit at Mega Man. Elsewhere that night, the robot biker gang has gathered in a wide alleyway. One of the gang members drives up to the gang leader. He tells the gang leader "Dr. Wily's robots have been spotted breaking into a warehouse!" He asks his leader "Should we keep a good eye on them?" The leader tells him "No! We must stay away from them! Trust me, they're a lot worse than those robot robbers!" The gang member nods. One of the other gang members asks the leader "What should we do about it, then?" The gang leader tells them "Call up Mega Man!" Back at Dr. Light's Lab, Mega Man has received the call, and he and Rush fly out of the lab. Roll and Eddie fly out in Roll's jetski.

At the warehouse, Dr. Wily's robots have just broken into it. Proto Man tells Guts Man, Concrete Man, and Hard Man "Get as much of those metal beams as humanly possible!" "Wily needs all that metal for his latest and greatest weapon!" Proto Man tells them. Guts Man responds "Ha! Yeah right!" Concrete Man does not like that Guts Man expressed criticism of Dr. Wily's handiwork. He tells Guts Man "Hey, you need to watch your mouth! Wily could punish you for talking trash about his unmatched genius!" Proto Man comments "That's right, Concrete Man! Dr. Wily could really punish him for talking bad about him!" Guts Man growls and grumbles under his breath as he gather up some metal beams. Proto Man crosses his arms and watches the strong robot masters gathering materials. Mega Man and Roll land near the warehouse. They see that Dr. Wily's robots have already broken into it. They run into the warehouse. The bad robots are about to walk out of the warehouse. They see that Mega Man and Roll are in their way. Mega Man tells them "You crooks aren't going anywhere!" Proto Man tells his brother "Oh yeah? We'll see about that!" Concrete Man hurls the metal beams in his arms at Mega Man and Roll. The beams pin them down. Concrete Man then uses his Concrete Shot on the beam to keep them pinned down. Hard Man comes over and says "Here's some more!" and is about to pile more beams onto Mega Man and Roll. Mega Man fires at the metal beams. They fly back towards Hard Man and knock him down. Mega Man then blasts apart the concrete. He tries to lift the beams off of himself, but he is unable to by himself. He yells to Roll "Help me, Roll! 1, 2..." Guts Man drops his beams and raises his fists up, preparing to smash Mega Man and Roll under the beams. Mega Man finishes with "3!" Both be and Roll push off the metal beams with their legs. Guts Man is pushed back by the metal beams. He grabs one of the beams and hits Mega Man with it. Mega Man gets knocked out and falls onto the ground hard. He hits the ground with an audible clang. Roll hears Mega Man fall and turns around. Roll sees that Mega Man has been knocked out. She yells at him "Mega! Get up! Come on! We're in big trouble!" Guts Man, Concrete Man, and Hard Man gang up on the two good robots. Fortunately, Mega Man regains consciousness and gets up but he is pretty weak from the attack. He gets a bit woozy and nearly falls down again. Roll sees that he needs Eddie, and runs quickly back to her jetski. Eddie sees that Roll needs him, so he quickly gets up and jumps off of the jetski. He runs quickly towards the warehouse, running past Roll. "Atta boy, Eddie!" Roll yells out to Eddie. Back at the warehouse, Hard Man fires his Hard Knuckles at Mega Man while he is still on the ground. Mega Man manages to dodge the Hard Knuckle. Mega Man tries to fire at the three burly robot masters, but can only shoot out a weak burst of light. The robot masters laugh at him. "What a weakling!" Concrete Man yells out. Eddie comes running in the warehouse. Guts Man sees Eddie and yells out "Hey! It's that little green toaster!" Eddie yells out "Toaster!?" Concrete Man fires his Concrete Shot at Eddie. Eddie gets covered in hardening concrete. Roll sees that Eddie has been encased in a concrete block. She cries out "Eddie!" and runs back into the warehouse to free Eddie from his concrete prison. Outside of the warehouse, the robot biker gang see that Mega Man and Roll are fighting the evil robots. The gang leader looks closely and sees that they are actually in distress. He tells the gang "They need our help again! But this time, they really need it! Let's ride!" The gang rides down to the warehouse.

Back in the warehouse, Proto Man tells the robot masters "Alright, play time's over now! We need to het those beams to Wily A.S.A.P.!" As they walk over to the remaining metal beams, they hear motorcycles approaching the warehouse. Guts Man turns around to see the biker gang entering the warehouse. Guts Man yells out "Did the blue dweeb send out reinforcements?" Concrete Man says "Whatever they are, they're keeping us from doing our jobs!" Hard Man and Concrete Man fire their weapons at the bikers. One of Hard Man's knuckles breaks open the concrete block that Eddie was trapped in. Eddie jumps up and down and shouts out "I'm free! I'm free!" He then runs over to Mega Man. Mega Man lifts up one of his hands, anticipating Eddie giving him an energy can. Fortunately, Dr. Wily's robots are too busy fighting the robot bikers to see that Eddie is healing Mega Man. Eddie shoots out two energy cans. Mega Man grabs one. He drinks the energy can. Some of his energy has been restored. He then picks up the other energy can and drinks its contents. His health has been fully restored. He gets up and does a flex as his body glows green. He thanks Eddie and pets him. He sees that the biker gang is having some trouble fighting the evil robots. Mega Man goes over and fires at the robot masters. The gang leader sees Mega Man and tells him "It's good to see you again, Mega Man!" Mega Man just says to him "Yeah, whatever..." Mega Man still does not trust the gang leader. Proto Man is getting upset that they cannot get the materials that they need. "Come on! Let's go!" Proto Man yells out at the robot masters. Proto Man and the other evil robots quickly gather up as many of the metal beams as they can and run out of the warehouse. They fly away in a Wily Machine. Everyone leaves the warehouse. They gather nearby it. The gang leader sees Roll. He greets her. "Hello again, Roll!" he says to her. Roll tells him "Watch out for Mega Man, he doesn't really trust you!" The gang leader suspects that the evil robots are up to no good again. "You don't say?" Roll says to him. The gang leader tells her "Believe it or not, I am actually familiar with them." Roll says to him "You've fought with them before!?" He tells her "Not really, but we used to be on the same-" Mega Man butts in and tells Roll "Everyone's leaving! We should leave too!" Mega Man looks at the gang leader with scorn. Roll sees that Mega Man is busy checking Rush for any repairs. She asks the leader "Would you like to meet my creator?" He responds "I would love to! I hear he's a real great guy!" Roll blushes and says "Yeah, he is!" They both get on Roll's jetski and fly away. The jetski flies over the biker gang. The gang leader yells down to them "Follow me and Roll!" Everyone except Mega Man and Rush heads to Dr. Light's lab. Mega Man and Rush look around to see where everyone went. They see that the gang leader has left his motorcycle behind. Mega Man clenches his fists and kicks the motorcycle over. He yells out "I told Roll he could be trouble!" Mega Man looks at Rush and says to him "She's taken him with her to the lab, hasn't she!?" Rush growls as he nods. Mega Man tells Rush "Let's jet there as fast as we can!" Rush barks and turns into his jet mode. Mega Man jumps on him and the fly away. As they fly away, Mega Man yells out "He's really going to get it this time!"

Back at the lab, Mega Man and Rush see that the whole biker gang is outside of the lab. Mega Man facepalms and goes "Oh no! He's even brought his whole gang with him!" The gang members greet Mega Man, but Mega Man and Rush simply scowl at them and head into the lab. Meanwhile, Roll and the gang leader walk up to Dr. Light. Roll introduces him to Mega Man and Dr. Light. Dr. Light doesn't trust him. Mega Man runs into the main lab and sees the gang leader talking to Dr. Light. This really upsets Mega Man. Mega Man is about to yell at the gang leader for getting close to Dr. Light, but the emergency alarm sounds. Dr. Light and Mega Man run up to the main screen. A man shows up on the main screen. He tells the two that some robots are breaking intto an energy rod manufacturing facility. The gang leader walks up between Mega Man and Dr. Light. "Excuse me!" Dr. Light angrily says to the gang leader "This is a private call!" Mega Man lets out "Yeah! Back off!" The gang leader lets out "Okay..." and slowly backs away from them. Dr. Light looks back to the screen and says to the man "Please continue..." The man tells Mega Man to get to the facility as quickly as he can. Mega Man tells the man "I'll be there faster than you can say 'automaton'!" The gang leader meanwhile runs out of the lab. He borrows one of the members motorcycles. He tells them to go back and get his motorcycle while he is assisting Mega Man. Mega Man flies to the facility on Rush while the gang leader uses his motorcycle to get there.

They see that the facility is being broken into. Mega Man tells him "Stay where you are!" He tells Mega Man "I can help you!" Mega Man doesn't believe him. He tells Mega Man "I have a weapon of my own!" This convinces Mega Man to let him help him. "Fair enough!" Mega Man says to him. Mega Man tells him "Now follow behind me!" Meanwhile, Guts Man and the other robot masters are carrying off long energy rods from where they are being stored. They are about to walk out of the facility when Mega Man and the gang leader stop them in their tracks. Cut Man says to the gang leader "You look familiar...do I know you?" The gang leader says "Maybe...but right now, Mega Man and I have to stop you guys!" Mega Man and the gang leader both fire at them. Cut Man throws his cutters at the gang leader. The cutters end up cutting through his jacket. "Hey! You owe me a new jacket, scissor head!" the gang leader yells out. The gang leader fires his weapon at Cut Man and knocks him out. Guts Man drops the energy rods he is carrying and charges at the gang leader. The gang leader attempts to fire his weapon at Guts Man, but Guts Man ends up knocking him out. Mega Man sees that he has been damaged and runs over to assist him. Elec Man fires his weapon at Mega Man. Mega Man narrowly avoids the Thunder Beam. Guts Man picks up the gang leader just as Mega Man is about to grab him. He lifts the gang leader above and says to Mega Man "Oh, you wanted him?" Mega Man tells Guts Man "I don't need your permission, Guts Man, I need your metal hide!" Mega Man shoots at Guts Man. Guts Man is knocked down by the plasma shot. Mega Man catches the gang leader in his arms as he falls out of Guts Man's clutches. The gang leader thanks him. Elec Man is about to fire a Thunder Beam at both of them, but Proto Man stops him. Proto Man tells Elec Man "Getting those energy rods to Wily is our first priority, remember?" Elec Man and Proto Man quickly grab as many energy rods as they can and run out of the facility. Mega Man feels bad for how he was to the gang leader previously. Mega Man tells him "Come on, let's get you fixed up!" Mega Man gets on Rush and they fly off back to the lab.

Back at Skull Fortress, Cut Man is telling Dr. Wily about the gang leader as Dr. Wily is building a tower-like machine. Dr. Wily asks Cut Man "Does he have a weapon of his very own?" Cut Man replies "M-maybe." Proto Man tells Dr. Wily "He was helping Mega Man!" Elec Man tells his evil master "I think he's been with us before..." Dr. Wily tells his robots "Whether or not he used to work with us, he and Mega Man will never be able to get within five miles of my fortress thanks to this energy turret!" He steps back to admire his latest creation. The energy turret is rather tall. Dr. Wily laments "Even all of the military of the world will never be able to penetrate my fortress! Skull Fortress will be invincible from now on! Mwa ha ha ha ha!"

Back at Dr. Light's lab, Dr. Light is repairing the gang leader. Roll questions Mega Man "Mega, if you hate his circuits so much, then why did you save him from Guts Man's wrath?" Mega Man tells Roll "Because I realize now that he's actually a good bot." Roll scoffs and says "Yeah, right!" Dr. Light is done repairing the gang leader. Dr. Light asks the gang leader "Is that better now?" The gang leader replies "Much better! Thank you very much, Dr. Light!" The gang leader gets off the table. The gang leader sees that Dr. Light, Mega Man, Roll, and Rush are around him. He sighs. He addresses them all by name. He tells them that it's time that he tells them all the truth about himself. He was a former robot master. When he found out Dr. Wily's true intentions, he was disgusted that he had created him for his own personal gains. He left him and ended up roaming the streets. A robot biker gang took pity on him and let him join them. Mega Man comments "Didn't really surprise me there!" Roll blushes and is ashamed of herself. She says "I can't believe I've fallen in love with a robot master again! Guess I'm into bad bots..." Mega Man tells Roll "It wasn't really your fault, Roll, none of us knew..." The gang leader tells Roll "It's not that you're into bad bots, you're just into robots who treat you with kindness and respect!" Roll smiles with comfort. The gang leader then tells Dr. Light "I think Dr. Wily and his robots are planning something real nasty with the metal beams and energy rods!" Dr. Light replies "Go on..." The former robot master tells everyone "From my calculations, Dr. Wily is using those things to build some kind of weapon!" Mega Man shouts "Then we must stop him, together! Who knows what kind of weapon he's going to make out of those materials!" Mega Man, Rush, and the gang leader run out of the lab. Mega Man looks at Rush and says to him "You know what to do!" Rush reluctantly barks and turns into his jet mode. Mega Man hops on and says to the gang leader "Get on!" The gang leader does so. They fly off to Skull Fortress. "Next stop, Skull Fortress!" Mega Man cries out as they all fly away. They fly over the rugged desert terrain.

Meanwhile, at Skull Fortress, the energy turret is being moved into the middle of the fortress. Guts Man, Concrete Man, and Hard Man are moving it into place. Dr. Wily and Proto Man are watching the whole operation. "This is a great moment for me!" Dr. Wily gloats. Proto Man turns to Dr. Wily and says "That's the fifth time you've said that! You've said that when you made that dream machine, when you built that 'floating fortress of doom', when you took over the airport, when you found where that chest containing Lotos is, and when you created that dart that controls-" Dr. Wily yells at Proto Man "I get it!" Proto Man immediately shuts up. Elec Man and Cut Man immediately run over to Dr. Wily. Elec Man tells Dr. Wily "Mega Man and that gang leader are approaching the fortress!" Dr. Wily tells Elec Man "Let them, they will never stand a chance against my defense turret!" Elec Man says simply "Whatever you say!" Elec Man then returns to tending to the energy turret.

Back outside, Mega Man lands Rush onto the ground. Mega Man and the former robot master arrive at Skull Fortress. Mega Man asks him "Do you know the layout of this place or if it's changed since the last time you were there?" The gang leader replies "I haven't been in Skull Fortress in years! I don't even know what the bathrooms look like anymore!" Mega Man says "Well, let's just make some new memories then!" They both proceed to Skull Fortress. Back inside Skull Fortress, Dr. Wily has Elec Man and Proto Man insert the energy rods into the turret. "Excellent!" Dr. Wily says "My defense system is finally ready to go!" Dr. Wily commands Proto Man "Turn it on!" Proto Man says "Whatever turns you on, Wily! Ha ha ha!" Proto Man activates the machine. The energy rods are inserted into the energy core. The machine powers up. The roof of Skull Fortress opens up. The machine is raised.

Meanwhile, Mega Man and the gang leader run up to the entrance to Skull Fortress. "Looks like no one's guarding the entrance!" Mega Man comments. Guts Man and Concrete Man jump down in front of Mega Man and the gang leader and block them. "Think again!" Guts Man and Concrete Man both say in unison. Mega Man now knows that the gang leader has a weapon as well. He nods at the gang leader, who nods back at him. They both fire their weapons at the robot masters. Guts Man and Concrete Man are knocked back and crash against the fortress. The turret is charging up and is almost fully charged. Mega Man and the gang leader quickly make it past Guts Man and Concrete Man. Guts Man and Concrete Man get up and see that they have already gone past them. Guts Man yells out "Hey! They got past us!" Concrete Man tells Guts Man "Well let's go in there and hurl them out!" Unfortunately for Guts Man and Concrete Man, the defense turret is now armed and fires energy beams at them. Guts Man and Concrete Man are blown apart by the beams. Their parts scatter all around. Guts Man's head lands right next to Concrete Man's. Inside Skull Fortress, Mega Man, Rush, and the gang leader are trying to find where the turret is. The security bots have detected their presence and are alerting Dr. Wily. "Intruders detected!" the security bots say to Dr. Wily. Dr. Wily is upset that they have managed to avoid the turret. "How did they-" Dr. Wily says. Proto Man asks Dr. Wily "Want us to stop them?" Dr. Wily says to Proto Man "No! Let me surprise them instead!" Dr. Wily presses a square key on the control panel.

Meanwhile, Mega Man and the gang leader are running down a hall. A sliding metal door closes down behind them. They aren't really bothered by it. In front of them, a yellow puddle appears on the floor. An eye peers out from the puddle. "I don't like the looks of this!" Mega Man says. "You said it, Mega!" the gang leader replies. The Yellow Devil emerges from the puddle and begins shooting pieces of its body at the two protagonists. Mega Man shouts out "Evasive action!" He and the former robot master dodge the yellow globs. The Yellow Devil forms behind them. Mega Man says "It's behind us, isn't it?" They both turn around. The Yellow Devil looms over them with its arms out. It opens its eye. Mega Man and the former robot master fire at its eye. The Yellow Devil is damage significantly. It then fires its yellow globs at the heroes again. Mega Man says to the gang leader "Guess we will have to fire at it again!" As the Yellow Devil reforms, the gang leader cries out "Get ready, Mega Man!" The Yellow Devil opens its eye. Both of the robots fire at its eye. The Yellow Devil blows up and its blobs melt away into the floor. The blobs disappear. Mega Man and the gang leader shake hands. They then proceed to the main room. As they near a door, they hear a loud electronic hum. They both look at each other. "This must be the place!" Mega Man says to the gang leader. They both kick open the door. They run into the room. Dr. Wily sees that they have gotten past the turret. Dr. Wily looks at the gang leader and says "So you've been the one who was also giving my robots a hard time! Who might you be?" The gang leader replies "Someone who used to be on your side, but not anymore!" Dr. Wily scoffs and says to the gang leader "And who is that someone exactly?" He reveals himself to Dr. Wily to be the former robot master that left him. "Bit Man!" he cries out. Dr. Wily is greatly angered by this revelation. "You rust-bitten traitor!" Dr. Willy yells at him. He orders to his robots "Destroy him and bring to me his head on a silver platter!" The bad robots run up to destroy him. He uses his Bit Cannon weapon against them. The bad robots are hit, but are barely damaged. Dr. Wily presses a button on the control panel and calls up Hard Man. He tells Hard Man "I've got some robots for you to crush!"

Meanwhile, Proto Man is fighting the gang leader. Proto Man says to the gang leader "It's great to see you ahain, too bad you're on the wrong side!" The gang leader replies "Yeah, it's too bad you're on the wrong side, you and Mega Man would make a great team of heroes!" Proto Man replies "Really? A team of heroes? I don't think so!" The former robot master Bit Man says "So much for you then!" The gang leader then fires at Proto Man. Proto Man gets damaged by his Bit Cannon weapon. Mega Man is taking on Cut Man and Elec Man. He says to the evil robot masters "I can handle both of you!" Cut Man yells out to Mega Man "See if you can handle my cutters, blue dweeb!" Cut Man tries to slash Mega Man with the cutters on his head. Mega Man grabs the cutters and pushes him back. Elec Man fires his Thunder Beam at Mega Man, but ends up hitting Cut Man. Cut Man is knocked out by the electric beam. Mega Man quickly copies Cut Man's weapon. Elec Man fires his beam again. Mega Man dodges it and is about to fire a Rolling Cutter at Elec Man, when Hard Man comes up behind him and fires a Hard Knuckle at him. Mega Man's helmet is knocked off of his head. Mega Man then falls onto the floor. Proto Man sees that his younger brother is down. He smiles evilly and says to the gang leader "Excuse me for a moment!" He goes over to Mega Man and aims his cannon at him. The gang leader sees that Mega Man is down. He yells out to Mega Man "Mega Man! Get up!" Mega Man struggles to get up. Hard Man, Elec Man, and Proto Man walk up to Mega Man. Hard Man pounds his fist into his hand and says "Alright! Let's finish him!" The gang leader runs up to the evil robot masters and fires at them. Hard Man tries to punch him, but he grabs his fist. Mega Man gets up and puts his helmet back on. Proto Man and Elec Man fire their weapons at Mega Man. Mega Man dodges their attacks and kicks both of them in the chest. Elec Man and Proto Man are knocked back into the turret. The turret shocks them both. Elec Man and Proto Man lose all of their energy and fall onto the floor with a metallic thud. Hard Man pushes the gang leader back with his fist and prepares to fire a Hard Knuckle at him. "You're going down! Hard!" Hard Man says to him. The gang leader replies "At least my dialogue isn't themed around my namesake!" Hard Man is about to fire a Hard Knuckle at the gang leader, but a Rolling Cutter cuts off Hard Man's arm. Hard Man turns to see Mega Man with another Rolling Cutter in his hand. Hard Man charges at Mega Man. Mega Man throws the cutter at Hard Man. Hard Man is cut into parts. The gang leader picks up Hard Man's arm and hands it to Mega Man. "Here's his Hard Knuckle." the gang leader says to Mega Man. Mega Man copies the Hard Knuckle. The gang leader drops the arm and says to Mega Man "Now let's get rid of that turret!" Dr. Wily sees that all of his robots have been defeated. He yells out "Let's see you two destroy it at full power!" Dr. Wily turns up the dial to maximum power. The gang leader tells Mega Man "We gotta get out of here, Mega Man! That turret's gonna blow!" Mega Man tells the former robot master "That's good, isn't it? Why don't we push Wily just a little bit more!" The gang leader says reluctantly "Whatever you say, you're the real hero." Mega Man tells the gang leader "Alright! Fire at it!" Both Mega Man and the gang leader fire at the turret. Dr. Wily turns up the dial to maximum and says out loud "Two bots gonna fry tonight! Mwa ha ha ha ha!" The turret charges up with even more power. Mega Man fires a Hard Knuckle at the turret. The gang leader also fires at the turret. The turret gets damaged. It then overloads with power. Mega Man says to the gang leader "Now we can go!" He and the gang leader exit the room. Dr. Wily sees that his hubris has gone too far. He quickly leaves the room as well. The turret explodes, causing a column of smoke to burst out of Skull Fortress. Outside of the fortress, Mega Man and the gang leader reunite with Rush. Rush licks both Mega Man and the gang leader. They return to Dr. Light's lab.

Back at Dr. Light's Lab, Mega Man and Roll are thanking the gang leader and the gang members for their help. Mega Man tells him that he can join them. "We can make a great team and finally stop Dr. Wily once and for all! What do you say?" Mega Man says to him. The former robot master says to him "Thanks, but no thanks." He tells them "This is the only life that I've ever known, and no offense Mega Man, but I'd rather keep it that way." Mega Man and Roll look at each other with smiles on their faces. Mega Man looks back at him and says "That's great too! But if you ever change your mind, you are always welcome to join us!" The former robot master replies "Thank you very much for the offer, Mega Man. Wily was very wrong about you, you're not such a bad robot after all!" One of his gang members cries out to him "Are you done saying your goodbyes yet? We're waiting!" The former robot master tells him with a bit of a chuckle "I'm done with my goodbyes now! We can go now!" He and Mega Man exchange thumbs up. The former robot master walks away. Mega Man and his allies watch him get back on his motorcycle. He and his gang drive off. The episode ends with him and his gang riding off into the sunset.

#leader of the pack #episode

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