#bobby losing another child

[sootsz]

qsmp has accidentally stumbled into a psychology experiment that would make the stanford prison experiment sob in fear. they’ve gotten a bunch of cc’s, and tens of thousands of viewers, to be deeply emotionally connected to pixel eggs. in doing so they’ve presented a problem:

how the fuck do you get outta this

the eggs were obviously never intended to be permanent (logging on every day to do tasks isn’t feasible to upkeep forever) and they were even given a vague limit of When Mama Dragon Comes Back (and then, of course, the “6 days til they die” thing). now you’ve made it so quackity (and his team) have a big ol dilemma, where two things are true: 1) they can’t keep the eggs forever since it’s not sustainable 2) you can’t take away the eggs without, oopsies, emotionally damaging your friends that you invited to have fun on your server.

turns out, when you give a group of humans all their own fully-realized individual who presents as a (weak, vulnerable) child that is in need of care from them, whatever instinct has kept us alive for generations goes “!!!!!” which is both really cool and compassionate, but also kinda concerning!

because, well: not sustainable! and if the eggs aren’t sustainable, what’s the alternative? killing them?? no! just look at jaiden’s reaction to bobby “losing” a life, even when it wasn’t his last one. or bad’s genuinely heart wrenching reaction to dapper losing a life. or how quiet and angry phil got after chayanne and tallulah had a “nightmare,” before it was resolved. that’s not acting. that’s real. what the hell will they do if the eggs actually die? from what i see, the cc’s are taking the “6 days til death” thing as something that’s avoidable. a threat that can be overcome. and for their sake, i hope it is.

ever played a dnd game where you actually feel insulted bc of smth someone’s pc did? yeah. that x20 because there’s SO much overlap between “streamer persona” and “literally just who they are”. and this level of roleplay character bleeding is cool, but i hope the eggs are handled carefully, or all those involved might end up actually hurt.

there’s also the whole added element of fans, many of whom only tune into the streams for egg content. the plot is very egg-centric. the roleplaying and characterization that the cc’s are doing is all centered around the eggs in one way or another. it’s been going on for a month, but it does not feel at all resolved, and plot-wise it would completely mess up so many plot threads happening if the eggs were all to go (charlie’s unresolved deal with lil j, quackity’s goal to bond with tallulah, the trial, etc etc) so if you take away the eggs, you risk messing up the whole vibe they’ve got going on, and facing backlash from fans who are also emotionally compromised by pixel eggs

we inherently want to protect the cute and vulnerable, and by god are these eggs cute and so very fragile. (then, there’s another layer of people’s own issues that they project onto the eggs. be it desire for paternity, some kind of maternal instinct, or, even in the matter of chayanne, using chayanne as a sort of way to cope with loss by making connections between chayanne and technoblade. which is beautiful and very sweet but would give chayanne dying some additional emotionally charged elements which i think should be avoided at all costs). there’s a reason that movies and other media generally do not kill named children characters—audiences really hate it. it’s taboo for good reason.

which leads us to

schrodinger’s egg: until sunday, they r both alive and dead. and this is both good and bad. god help us all

#please handle it carefully please handle it carefully please handle it carefully please handle it carefully please handle it carefully pleas #eggs :) #qsmp #quackity #Wilbur soot #tallulah #Philza #Charlie slimecicle #pleaasseeeeee #and this isn’t even touching on how the eggs feel #emotionally connected to somebody #never to talk to them again #having to watch them be sad #knowing it’s because of you #kinda fucked up #badboyhalo #dapper #Jaiden animations

[anonymous-dentist]

What I find interesting about this idea that qBagi put forth in regards to qJaiden and Bobby is that. Well. I don’t know if that’s how Jaiden works.

Empanada is an absolute sweetheart for already caring so much about Jaiden despite not having met her yet, and I don’t blame her for not knowing anything about Jaiden because, again, she’s never met Jaiden.

And then, of course, Bagi is being optimistic for her child’s sake, but it’s here that you can really see just how little a lot of the islanders know Jaiden at all.

None of Empnada’s mothers were there when Bobby died. None of them know about Bobby Fields. The only one Jaiden is remotely close with is Mouse, and Bagi doesn’t really trust Jaiden at all because of her connections with Cucurucho and the Federation.

All they know is that Bobby died several months ago and that Jaiden seems to be doing just fine. But then you look at Jaiden telling ElQuackity to spawn kill her, and Jaiden not visiting Bobby’s Castle or his city or his tomb, and Jaiden borderline avoiding Roier, and you start to realize, oh. She’s not doing well.

There’s this misconception among all the islanders that Roier and Jaiden have moved on from Bobby. Roier has Richarlyson, and Jaiden… doesn’t. Of course, any Roier Viewer knows that he’s never actually recovered from his son’s death, and any Jaiden Viewer knows that she’s never going to recover. Not at the rate she’s going with all this self-sacrifice and self-loathing and everything.

Bagi hasn’t seen Bobby Fields. She doesn’t know that Jaiden’s actual home is a building stuck in time with a table set for three and rooms upon rooms filled with paintings done by her dead son. All she knows is that Jaiden seems fine enough, just like Roier, and Bagi’s never actually been able to understand Roier when he’s told her “This island has broken everybody on it, especially me.”

This kind of trauma is something Bagi and most of the other islanders could never understand; the closest people would be Slime and Mariana- but they have a version of their daughter back- and then Maxo, who’s dead. The idea of losing your child forever is something entirely foreign to most of the island. Everybody knows that the eggs can die, but it hasn’t happened since Bobby’s death, so a majority of the islanders haven’t had to say goodbye the way Roier and Jaiden and Slime and Mariana and Maximus and Quackity did.

Jaiden hasn’t babysat any of the eggs since Bobby’s death. She’s helped others babysit, but she’s never looked after an egg by herself. She’s a lot like Roier, who didn’t trust himself to take care of another egg until just before Richarlyson’s disappearance and who still considers him a bad enough father to take out his frustrations on his mini-him Pepito. But, unlike Roier, she’s been alone this entire time. It’s just been her and Foolish and Cucurucho. She doesn’t have the same kind of support network as Roier, and he’s stuck in the past even with support. Imagine how she’s doing.

Bagi and Empanada are right, Empanada won’t replace Bobby. He can’t be replaced. But what they don’t seem to understand is the possibility that she can’t replace Bobby because Jaiden won’t want to take care of another egg. Sure, she probably will, but only because she has this complex about being inconvenient, and she’ll feel real inconvenient if everybody pressures her into taking care of Empanada the way they pressured Roier into taking Pepito on Tuesday.

Both Roier and Jaiden have lost so much, but only a select few know what they’re going through. Roier has Cellbit, and Jaiden has Foolish. Outside of them, though?

Remember, only Bad and Cellbit went to check on Roier when Bobby died. And only Roier ended up checking on Jaiden. And yet the world has decided they’ve moved on without even asking, and their assumptions might end up getting Pepito and Empanada hurt in the long run.

#just what I’m thinking though #this is a lot of rambling lol

[chronicowboy]

Eddie knew this was going to be a trainwreck ever since the moment Buck asked Cap if he could bring Natalia to the Grant-Nash barbecue. Now, of course, he had assumed it'd be mainly an internal trainwreck on his part, aching at the sight of Buck's arm around her waist, gritting his teeth as he smiles at her and attempts to be overtly polite. He just didn't expect the trainwreck to breach containment quite so spectacularly.

Its just...

Natalia says something about Buck's death being awesome and the entire garden falls deathly silent. Bobby's face freezes like he's caught in some terrible memory, whether its smoke or rain he's smelling, Eddie couldn't tell you. Hen steadies herself on Karen's arm, and Eddie is only the slightest bit bitter that the person he'd steady himself on isn't his to be steadied by. Maddie's eyes fill with tears almost instantaneously, and Chimney wraps her up, his own face tight with grief. Athena doesn't react beyond a poorly concealed scowl. Even Christopher has stopped playing with Denny to stare.

Still, its not quite a trainwreck until Christopher meets Eddie's eyes. The devastation on his face is enough to have the words falling off Eddie's tongue before he can bite them back.

"Awesome?" Eddie chokes out, swinging his gaze over to the happy couple. His eyes land on Buck, however, a ghostly pale, tight and drawn Buck. "What about it was awesome exactly?"

"Well, I mean, its pretty spectacular you have to admit," Natalia says, a hint of apprehension lining her words.

"Oh, sure. Spectacular. That's exactly how I'd describe it." Eddie nods, lets a cold, rueful laugh bubble up from inside of him and it feels like its been building ever since he joked about lightning striking twice. "What exactly about it was spectacular? His heartbroken sister sobbing in a hospital hallway, wondering if she'd have to watch another brother die? Oh, or was it his captain praying desperately by his bedside because he couldn't bear the thought of losing another child? Was that spectacular? Or was spectacular his brother-in-law's guilt heavy with grief and anchoring him to the hospital room because he thought he was supposed to be the one on the ladder? No." Eddie shakes his head, eyes darting to Buck's blank shock. "Do you know what was really spectacular? The eleven-year-old boy in the hospital waiting room begging to see his Buck on the brink of death just to ask him to come back. Was that spectacular?"

"N-no, of course not," she stammers out, eyes wide. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I just..."

Eddie ignores her, eyes locked onto Buck's faraway stare. He takes a step closer, tries not to preen when Buck's eyes immediately focus on him.

"You think she sees you?" Eddie asks, voice raw and way too honest for an entire family and a stranger to hear. "She can't see past the lightning bolt, Buck. But I've been here the whole time." Its here that his voice breaks, cracking into an ugly, pained whisper. "Seeing you, just waiting for you to see me too." He squeezes his eyes shut, shakes his head, takes a step back. "Chris, its time to go, come on."

Eddie grabs their jackets from where they're folded over the back of a garden chair and puts a hand on Christopher's back when he's close enough. Eddie doesn't look back as they disappear into the house, but he catches Maddie's mumbled thank you when they pass.

The ride home is silent, Christopher's eyes teary and Eddie's throat still clogged with the words he left unsaid. They'll talk when they get home. Eddie will ask Buck to talk later too, not an apology for the words, but for how they were said.

Its fine, they have time.

But the blare of truck horns feels a lot like a wake up call.

#sami rambles #i can see a car crash cliffhanger i cannot lie. #everything this season feels too ominous for it not to come to fruition in the worst of ways #911 spoilers #911 spec #911 fic #911 fanfic #911 spec fic #911 show #911 fox #buddie #buck x eddie #buddie fic #buddie fanfic #buck x eddie fic #evan buckley #eddie diaz #firefam #christopher diaz #btw i know natalia doesn't mean it like this. i just think eddie's emotions would get the better of him in the end

[diazsdimples]

WIP Wednesday

Tagged by @theotherbuckley @steadfastsaturnsrings and @puppyboybuckley (who published the final chapter of the Mudslide Fic, PLEASE go read it!)

I wasn’t gonna do this today cause I had the shift from hell and didn’t manage to write anything yesterday between birthday things but I managed to cobble this together after my shift! Frostpunk AU weirdly came back to me so please enjoy this small snippet!

Much to Buck’s relief, both Edmundo and Christopher are still alive when they make it back to the city, in record time as Bobby will have him believe. Rappelling down the cliff with two semi-conscious, reasonably unstable patients is more difficult than they’d initially anticipated, so in a rush of fear as he watches Bobby struggle with Christopher, Buck offers to bring the boy down himself.

Much like they did the day Buck carried Christopher to the cabin, they strap the child to Buck’s chest, using a small harness stored in the med kit on a “just in case” basis. Christophers head clunks repetitively against Buck’s chest as he pushes them off the cliff, slowly letting the rope out with each jump. He wishes that it wasn’t a two-hand job, that he could cradle Christopher’s head with one hand and keep the rope moving with the other.

Above him, Bobby abseils down with Edmundo dangling to the side of him in a basket. They’d done one last temperature check on the two of them before descending into the heavy, cold mist that lay over the city, and Edmundo’s had been the lowest they’d seen it since the rescue. The way Eli’s face had paled and he’d instantly tugged Bobby aside, talking with him in low, hushed tones was enough to tell Buck about the state of his health.

It made a cold, thrill of fear rush down Buck’s spine, settling in the pit of his stomach as a constant reminder of how precarious Edmundo and Christopher’s situation was, as he carried the small boy to safety.

The moment Buck and Christopher touched the ground, they were pounced on by a team of medics, headed by Hen.

“What’s the story, Buck?” Hen asked as she hurried to help peel off Buck’s outer layers and unclip him from the harness.

“Found this guy and his dad half frozen yesterday. He’s probably 7 or 8 years old and got moderate to severe hypothermia. Eli’s been monitoring him and he’s stable but barely conscious. Probably malnourished and seriously dehydrated,” Buck pants as he lowers Christopher onto the stretcher Hen has prepared. The kid’s light brown curls fall over his face, curling against his eyelids and Buck reaches out a tender hand to brush them back before he can stop himself.

If Hen notices, she chooses not to mention the look in his eyes as he does this.

“Alright, we’re going to take him to the med tent now. What about his dad?” Hen asks as two medics swiftly hoist Christopher’s stretcher into the air and run off in the direction of the nearest med tent.

Buck watches, half in a daze as Edmundo is lowered to the ground. His lips are pale and chapped, and his face looks lifeless and devoid of colour as his head lols to the side. A sick feeling creeps through Buck’s body as he thinks of how close they came to not making it back. How close Christopher came to losing his father.

“This is Edmundo Diaz, severe hypothermia, dehydration and malnourishment. He’s had issues with his oxygen and heart rate consistently through the journey home. Hen, he’ll need around the clock care, someone to stay with him, to keep an eye on him,” Buck says, hearing the urgency in his voice as he speaks. He doesn’t know what compels him, other than a sense that Edmundo is the other half of a magnet that’s drawing him ever closer, but Buck continues talking. “You guys can’t spare another medic but I-I don’t mind sitting with him. I’m good at taking his vitals a-and I could keep an eye on the kid.”

Hen eyes him, as if trying to read what his true motivation is. “Go,” she finally says, inclining her head towards the tent. Buck doesn’t need to be told twice.

No pressure tagging @hippolotamus @spotsandsocks @evanbegins @smilingbuckley @thekristen999 @elvensorceress @rainbow-nerdss @wikiangela @daffi-990 @watchyourbuck @disasterbuckdiaz @bucksbackwardcap @fortheloveofbuddie @aroeddiediaz @jesuisici33 @buckbuckgoose @exhuastedpigeon @cal-daisies-and-briars @wildlife4life @slightlyobsessedwitheverything @nmcggg @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @kitteneddiediaz @epicbuddieficrecs @spagheddiediaz @loserdiaz

#james writes #frostpunk au #tired words that probably don’t make sense #hoping this pulls me out of my writing funk #buddie #eddie diaz #911 abc #evan buckley #911 buddie #911verse #911 fanfic #911 #eddie x buck

[ghosthunterbuck]

6x10 Coda

if that episode wrecked you as bad as it wrecked me, this won't help

Thirty seconds before Eddie got to Buck. 

Maybe another minute before they got him in the ambulance. 

Three minutes to the hospital. 

Five minutes without oxygen before the brain begins to take permanent damage. 

Eddie presses the gas pedal all the way to the floor. It’s still not fast enough. 

He can’t look at Bobby. Can’t risk taking his eyes off the road for even a split second because Buck is in the back of this ambulance and if Eddie loses his concentration for a moment it could cost him his life. 

Drive, he thinks, the only thought that’s safe. Drive. 

Eddie eases off the gas as they enter the ambulance bay, but doesn’t touch the brake until the last possible second. He jerks on the parking brake before the ambulance rolls back even an inch and throws himself outside. He sprints around to the back, and as soon as the gurney’s wheels touch the pavement, he jumps on and begins compressions. 

Eddie doesn’t think. Doesn’t allow himself to think because if he thinks it might occur to him that Buck’s odds of survival are worse than his were when he was shot. It might occur to him that this could easily be the last time he ever touches Buck’s still warm flesh. It might occur to him that Christopher is expecting them both to come home tomorrow, because Buck promised to make them Bobby’s famous chili and Buck never breaks a promise where he and Christopher are concerned. 

Eddie doesn’t think. 

Eddie can’t think. 

They burst through the sliding glass doors of the hospital, and in moments, someone is pulling him off Buck. He fights back. He keeps doing compressions. Buck needs him. 

“Eddie!” someone shouts. 

Eddie ignores them. 

“Eddie, you have to let them do their jobs!”

For the briefest of moments, Eddie falters. Hands find his shoulders and pull him back. 

“We’ll do everything we can,” a woman in scrubs says, and then he’s gone. 

Eddie heaves in a ragged breath and sags against the person behind him. Strong arms hold him up. 

“Eddie, they've got him,” Bobby says. 

I can’t do this again, Eddie thinks. 

…

The waiting room is cold and unnaturally quiet. Eddie’s uniform is soaked through. There’s a dull pain in his arm, one that’s been growing with each passing minute. 

Someone needs to call Maddie. 

Selfishly, Eddie hopes Chimney is the one to do it. He knows he’s going to have to say it out loud eventually, but he can’t. Not yet. Not until he knows exactly what he needs to prepare himself to say. 

Buck’s in the hospital. Again. You’d better bring some of that sparkling water he likes so much. 

Buck’s hurt. He’s going to be fine, but the doctors say he should rest until tomorrow. 

No, Buck’s not okay. The doctor’s don’t know when he’ll wake up. 

No, Buck’s not okay. The doctor’s don’t know if he’ll wake up. 

Buck’s dead. 

A sob jumps from the back of Eddie’s throat, and once the first one is loose, there’s nothing he can do to stop the ones that follow. Eddie hunches in on himself and squeezes his eyes shut. The room around him is closing in, and knowing he’s having another panic attack doesn’t make it any easier to handle. 

Arms encircle his shoulders and pull him tight against a chest he’s cried into before. 

“I– I can’t,” Eddie gasps. 

“I know,” Bobby whispers. 

His voice is wrecked. He sounds just as bad as Eddie, maybe worse. And Eddie– Eddie should be doing something to comfort him, too. Buck is Bobby’s just as much as he’s Eddie’s. But Eddie feels like a child, wrapped in his father’s arms, unable to do anything except cry. 

“It’s Buck,” Eddie sobs. 

“I know.”

“Bobby, I can’t lose him,” he admits. It feels like he’s saying more than that, but he can’t keep it in. “I can’t,” he repeats, over and over. 

I can’t do this again.

#911 #911 spoilers #911fic #911 fic #buddie #buddie fic #5x10 coda #abbie writes #i'm feeling so unwell #so so unwell #i'm gonna write at least seven fics in the next week fight me #userceecee

[sunflowerdigs]

Was thinking about why Tim decided to portray Buck's bisexual discovery the way that he did, but Oliver saying that it was meant to happen in s5 makes it all make more sense. In 7x04, Buck acts like an insane person, mostly because he's afraid Eddie's going to leave him. The last time we saw him do that was 4x14, when he climbed the ladder against Bobby's wishes.

But Eddie wasn't watching in 4x14. It doesn't matter. It's an anxiety response ingrained in Buck since he was a kid. As an emotionally neglected child, Buck learned that, when he felt scared or unloved, if he hurt himself badly enough, someone would notice the physical pain and come and soothe him. His parents spoiled him in that way - they never made him take responsibility for his bone-headed stunts because on some level they knew that it was their neglect that caused him to act out. But they couldn't stop neglecting him because being involved in his life was too painful. They couldn't love Buck like the child they'd lost that Buck was supposed to save. So, instead, they taught him that he was only lovable when he was hurt and that he could coerce love from others by hurting himself.

In both 4x14 and 7x04, Buck is afraid that he's going to lose Eddie. So, he acts out, waiting for someone to notice and feel sorry for him and tell him that everything is going to be ok. And in both instances, someone does - in 4x14, Taylor comes over and scolds him, then kisses him right before Eddie wakes up; in 7x04, Tommy comes over and apologizes for making Buck feel left out and kisses him as well. In both instances, both people react like Buck's parents did when he was a kid - they soothe him and ignore the bad behavior. And because Buck is starving for love and is crushing on both of them, he takes the comfort and rolls with it.

Eddie has also seen Buck react in this way - when he refused to get out of bed in 3x01 and when he said that he should have been shot in 4x14. But Eddie's reaction both time has been different - instead of feeling sorry for Buck and coddling him, he has given Buck responsibility for Christopher both times. And that's been (from 911's POV) the better response, I think, because it has empoweres Buck. Eddie saw Buck feeling small and worthless and he said "no, I believe you're strong and capable, and you're going to prove it by taking care of my son".

Imo, that's why Buck's actions in 7x04, though coming from that same panicked place as in 4x14, aren't death-defying. The will means that he can't just treat his life like it's worthless anymore. Unfortunately, he then escalates to hurting other people, but that's another meta for another day

#buddie #911 abc

[malichev]

Let's be honest? As sad, or cruel, as it may seem, it makes a LOT of SENSE that qSlime rejects Sunny. He never got over Flippa, and suddenly a code appeared in Flippa's disguise and he was convinced it was her. He never wanted another child, in fact, everyone who lost eggs never wanted another child. qMax said this about Trump, qMariana when he joined he wasn't happy with CodeFlippa, qJaiden and qRoier had already said they weren't interested, etc…

I love the new eggs, don't get me wrong, BUT it's a FACT that no one asked them if they actually WANTED to take care of the new eggs.

Just take the example of qQuackity when he met Pepito, he started to get attached, but he rejected the idea of being a father several times.See his relationship with Richarlyson, he could never be a present father, unfortunately even because CC busy life, but within the narrative he gave up the responsibility of paternity exactly for what happened to Tilin. That's why, when he was in a coma, Richarlyson and Tilin's ghost haunted him, because Quacks couldn't move on. Then he exploded Richas's statue in his labyrinth of memories. qRoier was another one who was very reluctant to be a father again and take care of other eggs, if it weren't for his relationship with qCellbit, and qCellbit involving him in Richarlyson's life/raising/education, perhaps he would have given up. And I won't be surprised if Jaiden doesn't feel comfortable with the idea of being a mother again, not after everything she's been through and how she's recovered from the grief of losing Bobby.

#qsmp #qsmp brasil #qsmpbr #qsmp cellbit #qsmp lore #qsmp roier #qsmp eggs #qsmp sunny #qsmp sunnysideup #qsmp slimecicle #qsmp juanaflippa #qsmp codeflippa #qsmp quackity #qsmp pepito #qsmp richarlyson #qsmp jaiden

[icyonice]

Now that q!Jaiden is gone I will never get to see a scenario that I hoped would happen between her and Em

When Slime was going on his rampage early on in the server Jaiden was scared because of the danger the eggs were in and Roier told her “Vivir con miedo no es vivir” which translates to “To live with fear is not to live” which Bobby has taken to heart and lived his everyday to the fullest without fear of losing a life which leads me to Jaiden and Em

Ever since Em lost her life she’s been scared. I’ve seen many people say that Jaiden would possibly reject Em after learning she has one life due to being scared of losing another child but I kinda want her to say what Roier told her while also adding some more to not undermine Em’s feelings because Bobby lived that way and he turned out to be one of, if not, the happiest egg out there. Or maybe even have Bobby tell Em that.

This isn’t supposed to get rid of her fears or anything but rather make her feel just a bit better. Instead of being scared she’ll live in the moment and feel happier.

Kinda had a vision where Empanada is gonna die again (bonus points for being in a dungeon) and Bobby steps in saying something along the lines of “you haven’t lived yet” referring to her living in fear and saves her (more bonus points if he mentions something about being a good big brother and how mamá/ma would have done this/wanted this)

#qsmp #qsmp empanada #qsmp bobby #qsmp jaiden #qsmp roier #q!jaiden #q!roier

[bidisasterevankinard]

normal again?

G / 1041 words

Buck and Eddie talk in the gym about what happened at the cruise call (based on the photos)

text under cut

Buck sits in his Jeep looking at the station and for the first time in all his life he doesn’t want to enter this building, doesn't want to see his team, but most importantly doesn't want to, and even scared, to see Eddie. 

The cruise emergency, which almost cost them Athena and Bobby and marked itself as another near death experience for both, him and Eddie, was three days ago and Buck is still not ready to see the man. 

Not after what happened when they were almost trapped together with Eddie in the water, while saving people, and not after what he did to help the man with his panic attack.

Buck takes deep breaths to calm his mind and slow down his racing heart, remembering how Eddie looked at him after Buck’s lips left his. And this struck and almost hurt expression could be something Buck could forget about and live like nothing happened, but Eddie hasn’t talked with him since the moment they said goodbye to each other at this exact parking space.

No answers on his messages, except little one: I’m home. Not alone. Is that ok if we reschedule the movie night for tomorrow?

Then silence. 

Buck hates silence. Silence always was something around him because of his parents, and he always tries to create the sounds and conversations to never have a silence with people he loves. To never again feel like when he was a child, begging to be loved.

Eddie was the only one with whom even silence can be comfortable, but not this one.

Not when his best friend avoids him.

Loudly sighting, Buck takes his bag and gets out of the car. He was the one who kissed Eddie, who made Eddie avoid him, which means he should be the one to make it better.

And the twenty minutes before their shift is a good opportunity to clean the air between them before they will run to save people.

Good thing Eddie is already here too. Buck saw the truck the moment he parked ten minutes ago.

Entering the station he expected to see the man in the loft, and get himself five more minutes to get his thoughts together, but the way Eddie is working out, beating the shit out of the punching bag, makes him change the plan.

Buck approaches the man loudly, not wanting to scare him, so he knows the moment he appears near the bag is not a surprise for Eddie. Not with the way Eddie glances at him, with a tense jaw.

“H-hi,” Buck barely hears it himself, but Eddie nods at him, so he guess he heard it. Buck coughs and continues with normal volume, but not loud enough to make anyone look at them, “I-I was thinking we can talk about the … you know, what happened at the cruise.”

Eddie hits the bag again before speaking.

“Nothing to talk about, Buck.”

“Eddie, I kissed you and you stopped talking to me. And I-I know I messed up, but please let’s talk about it. I promise I'm sorry about my actions, and I don’t want to lose you because of it,” Buck needs Eddie to listen to him, to forgive him. 

“Wait, you think I was angry with you for the kiss?”

“I mean, what else could it be about?”

Buck raises his eyebrow, when Eddie bites his lip and nods to the benches.

He chooses to sit opposite Eddie, not wanting to trap the man with his presence.

“Buck, I’m not angry at you. I wasn’t talking to you because of my actions during the panic attack,” Eddie looks at him, but Buck sees in his pose he still doesn’t want to talk about it.

“Eddie, it's fine. You did nothing wrong.”

“Buck, I had a panic attack during work. And you had to save both of us because I was out.” 

“First, I’m your partner, it means making sure you’re safe. Second, yes, you had an attack because we were trapped together and you were triggered by water. It's normal. I-I was triggered too. I panicked too. Remembering the-the tsunami and how I almost drowned in the lift,” Buck still feels this uneasy feeling from hyperventilating which felt exactly like the tsunami. “But I just concentrated more on you, so that's why I had an attack at home. Alone. I'm happy I could at least help you. Even if I'm sorry about my actions to help you,” Buck can’t look at Eddie saying the last sentence. 

He still feels so guilty for kissing Eddie. But somehow he can feel more guilty. For wanting more. For wanting to kiss Eddie again and again.

“You... regret it?” 

Eddie's cautious and slightly sad voice makes Buck raise his head and meet Eddie's incomprehensible gaze. Buck doesn't know what that means, but he doesn't want to make Eddie think he hates the idea of kissing him. 

“I do not regret kissing you. I regret it was like that. When you were panicking and I never asked,” Buck explains and is almost ready to say something more revealing about his feelings but then remember the main thing why he should feel guilty for his actions. “And because you and Marisol are dating. You want it to work and I made it awkward.”

“I don’t feel bad about you kissing me,” Eddie slightly smiles, but then shakes his head. “But yeah, it made the situation with Marisol a little awkward. Let's forget about it? Nothing happened?”

Buck doesn’t want to forget but he would never say no to such a perfect present of making things normal again between them. Still, he needs to make Eddie promise him something.  

“Only if you promise to never hide any attacks or possible triggers ever again.”

“Only if you promise to let me help you with your attacks too.” 

“Deal,” Buck smiles and Eddie smiles back. “The cruise never happened.”

“Yeah. Nothing happened.”

Buck is almost sure they both do not believe it with the way they said it. At least he hopes so. Because for him this kiss meant more he wants to admit. But it’s not time for it.

Main thing is that he and Eddie are normal again. Right?

#my fics #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 #evan buck buckley #buddie fic #911 buddie #911 spoilers

[irelandking]

steve rogers fic recs

steve rogers x reader

❤️ = fluff 😔 = angst 🔥 = smut

modern cap steve x regular reader

series:

mr. steve - @pies-writes-and-more

part 2 Soulmate AU In a universe where your soulmate’s name is written on your wrist after you meet them, receiving a wedding invitation from her friend is just another reminder that (Y/N) has yet to find her soulmate. But maybe this wedding will be a little bit more exciting, with the help of a tiny child without a filter. ❤️

one shots:

the waitress - @pies-writes-and-more

 Done for a writing challenge // song prompt: “If things get worse, will you still be here?” 405 by This Wild Life. Steve Rogers has finally worked up the guts to ask out the super cute waitress at the diner he frequents… except it’s hard to ask out of a girl when you’re a) already super nervous, b) unsure if it’s rude to ask her out, and c) when you have Dumb and Dumber insisting they tag along. ❤️

vigilante - @invisibleanonymousmonsters

Steve reacts to his girlfriend getting violently mugged. ❤️😔

under pressure - @invisibleanonymousmonsters

Steve still doesn’t know how to talk to women…let alone how to get a first date with one ❤️

boardroom fantasies - @pies-writes-and-more

prompt: “You wanna have sex….here? Now?” Steve can’t help how tight his pants get when (Y/N) is working nearby. While everyone else goes out for drinks, he pulls her aside to show her that the Accounting Guy who keeps asking her out isn’t who she should be with. 🔥

morning wood - @angrythingstarlight

Your new neighbor Steve gives you more than one surprise in the morning. 🔥

perfect - @tempestuous-lush

reader breaks up with steve over insecurities regarding lack of experience. he insists she is perfect, and proves to her just how perfect she is. 🔥

blind date - @invisibleanonymousmonsters

It had to be fate when Steve runs into his work crush on a stroll through his old stomping grounds.  ❤️

guard dog - @invisibleanonymousmonsters

Sometimes Steve has to protect his girl from the least expected attacks. ❤️

agent/avenger reader

series:

start again - @wkemeup

part 2 A chemical spill, uncontrollable desires rushed to the surface, an unbridled need, and the consequences in the aftermath ❤️😔🔥

embarrassment - @a-confused-turtle

part 2 and part 3 A drunken game of truth or dare reveals what Y/N didn’t want anyone to know. She’d been perfectly and contentedly miserable before her slip up, but the confrontation over her little secret, which she avoids at all costs, quickly catches up ❤️

one shots:

blue - @pies-writes-and-more

Steve in blue is too much to handle whilst sober, (Y/N) decides. So while attending Tony Stark’s birthday party, (Y/N) doesn’t stop to drink her anxiety away making for entertaining company for Steve ❤️

hickeys - @a-confused-turtle

 Y/N wakes up in her boyfriend’s arms and the day begins as it always does, sneaking out of his room, until Tony notices lovebites on shy, quiet Y/N’s neck. ❤️

wallets, keys and bobby-pins - @marvelouscaptainrogers

 Soulmate AU where anything you lose suddenly appears in your soulmates possession, and anything they lose will appear in yours. It usually works swimmingly for everyone else, but what happens when your soulmate is technically around 75 years older than you? ❤️

insubordination - @marvelouscaptainrogers

Y/N likes to be a little asshole and not follow orders, and Steve decides she needs to learn her lesson 🔥

jealous (strong) steve - @pies-writes-and-more

Steve Rogers, the man behind the shield, knows that his strength only came from an injection. He isn’t a Norse god, how could he compete against Thor who seems to have all of (Y/N)’s affections? Steve Rogers is a jealous man. A strong jealous man who just keeps breaking things.❤️

whisper - @redgillan

Natasha and Sam have a plan to make Steve confess his feelings. ❤️

major crush - @redgillan

 Laser Tag brings out Steve Rogers’ competitive side and Reader loves it. 🔥

it's your captain's birthday - @witchywithwhiskey

you're avoiding steve rogers' birthday beach party by relaxing in the ocean, but when he finds you alone in the waves, your captain is sure to let you know how much he appreciates that you wore a bikini in his colors to his party—and things escalate from there. 🔥

the best birthday gift - @witchywithwhiskey

you attend a party at avengers tower celebrating the fourth of july and steve rogers' birthday and make a fool of yourself when introduced to captain america, the man you've crushed on for most of your life. but when you run into him while avoiding the fireworks show, he's more than happy to spend his birthday distracting you from the party.🔥

steve - @assembletheimagines

Steve’s never had a blowjob and could you really consider yourself a friend if you didn’t suck his dick? 🔥

you'll always be the sexiest man alive to me, captain - @witchywithwhiskey

steve rogers is named people's sexiest man alive and his fellow avengers—along with their SHIELD support team—won't let him live it down, but when you make a smartass joke in front of your new colleagues, you catch the eye of captain america himself. turns out he *really* likes it when you call him captain. 🔥

college!steve

one shots:

kissing booth - @viollettes

After Nat volunteers your services at the kissing booth, you find yourself sitting across from you is none other than your best friend. ❤️

the end of the war - @redgillan

Everyone knows you and Steve can’t stand each other, but after he runs into you after one of his fights, he starts to see you in a different light.❤️😔

she calls me daddy - @hertzwritings

Frat-Boy!Steve Rogers x female reader 🔥

oopsy daisy - @whateveriwant

 In order to keep the animal shelter from closing, your sorority holds a car wash as a fundraiser. Besides cleaning cars all day, you have another goal in mind involving a certain football-playing frat member. 🔥

modern au

series:

slow like honey - @heli0s-writes

The gossip that buzzes around in the teacher’s lounge is that sweet, sensitive, divorcé Steve Rogers is hot-for-teacher. His daughter’s first-grade teacher, to be exact. ❤️😔🔥

at your service - @writing-for-marvel

part 2 As your bodyguard it’s Steve’s job to look out for you, when you find him in a compromising position, it becomes your turn to look after him. 🔥

one shots:

a french kiss - @pies-writes-and-more

Y/N came to Paris with a plan: take a photo with a cute man next to the Eiffel Tower, just like how her and cheating ex-boyfriend had always planned on doing, and make that son of a bitch jealous. Thankfully, there’s a super cute blond guy who just so happens to be nearby. ❤️

take a hint - @pies-writes-and-more

(Y/N) literally just wants to go out and have a good time with her girls. So why do guys seem to never take ‘no’ for an answer? To try to prevent more annoying encounters with men who can’t take a hint, (Y/N) slips on two rings onto her left hand and assumes the married life. It’s all well and good… until someone sees the rings as a challenge. Enter from stage right, our hero. ❤️

ask - @angelkurenai

Imagine Steve wanting to introduce you, his fiance, to his friends for a long time  but hesitating because he hasn’t told them something about your past and how you met. You were once his student. ❤️

nature's beauty - @biteofcherry

Your teasing comment about staying home barefoot and pregnant makes something in Steve snap. He’s now eager to turn it into reality. 🔥

lilacs & ink - @witchywithwhiskey

you go in to get your first tattoo and the very attractive tattoo artist steve rogers takes good care of you.❤️

mob!steve

series:

ask - @invisibleanonymousmonsters

part 2 two prompts combined ❤️ 1.  here’s people chasing us and I pulled you into the alley with me and wow you’re close 37. We’re dating and I didn’t know you were a mobster

biker!steve

one shots:

where he belongs/don't f*ck with the queen - @angrythingstarlight

It’s not often someone challenges your place as Steve’s queen but they only make that mistake once. And Steve knows better than to let anyone think they can take your place. 🔥

#steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers smut #steve rogers au #steve rogers #steve rogers x you

[extasiswings]

Something about Buck alone in the ambulance bay silent as the grave, not crossing the line, not physically going past the glass doors, still covered in Eddie’s blood swaying on his feet belatedly admitting that no he’s not okay, Buck with shaking hands in front of Taylor but able to keep it mostly together until Christopher. Buck breaking down fully only after finding out from Bobby that Eddie was stable and likely going to be fine…

Something about Eddie driving the ambulance, Eddie physically going past the glass doors, Eddie being the one to restart Buck’s heart, Eddie yelling at the doctors…Eddie not being alone, instead having everyone around him to hold him up…but the tradeoff being that Eddie isn’t going to get the certainty of a few hours later knowing Buck should be fine. When Eddie has to go home and tell Christopher he might lose another parent, he won’t get reassurance halfway through that conversation that he can then pass on to their child. Because Buck’s not going to be stable, it’s not going to be “he had a successful surgery and is recovering nicely/we’re just waiting for him to wake up,” he’s going to be in critical condition in a medically induced coma with no guarantees that he’ll live at all let alone what his life could look like even if he did wake up…

They’re so sick for this.

#911 spoilers #chapel for ts #buddie

[laylawatermelon]

Please please read this and give it some love but I had an inkling of this feeling but never mentioned it cause I thought it was absurd.

Basically its a tweet of a reddit post (inception ik) basically of how Tim is basically rewriting the characters back to the way they were.

More below 👇🏾

Everyone's been mentioning how the characters have been more in character and the actors are happy and that makes sense.

He's been making them more in character than they ever were.

And with the Buddie situation (yes not everything is about them but i am a buddie fan who happened to find and grow to love this show because of it) it makes the most sense.

Now that Oliver mentioned the love story and everyone assumed it was the shooting and being in live it made the most sense.

Who else was he going to be falling in love woth at the time? It surely wasn't Taylor. Their romantic relationship was always doomed to fail and it was a great friendship they had (ehhh sideye for Bobby situation and Jonah eventually) that lasted if they weren't too persnally involved in each others lives.

She'd have been a perfect friend for him to gossip about the drama at the 118 (not work cause you know she'd make a story). That relationship wasn't going to work. He's too honest and she's too opportunisic.

If it hadn't been Jonah it'd be something else and he'd feel the same sense of betrayal (also Buck kissing Lucy was betrayal but that also felt a lil like assult cause she got him reallllly drunk and if the roles were reversed people wouldn't be that enthusiastic about it).

The only other love story that's been written logically as a will they won't they tragic and emotionally complex story is Buck and Eddie's.

Season 2 he replaced his love intrest! Like come on!

But in all seriousness, the Ana breakup and ll the vague dollow your heart is basically being rehashed.

I remember someone mentioning that Marisol is just another Ana (whoever you are if you see this send me hit I'll put it in here) and that's actually true.

Yay Marisol no last name haters your time has arrived cause it's official she's done!

There's no worry because we're getting a conclusion on the fact that was supposed to happen years ago.

She's not a permanent structure.

This storyline can go two ways.

One Buddie confirmed season 8.

Or two, Eddie realizes what his family could look like and its a single parent home with a support system from work (and Buck but we're gonna just gloss over that for now).

Meta linked above I just talked about Eddie and its coming to fruition (hire me abc im getting better at screenwriting!).

For the first one it's juicy storytelling.

For the other it makes sense as development for Eddie becoming comfortable with himself apart from his identity as a husband/widower, son, Catholic, and father.

He'll learn to bebhimself which he hadn't had the opportunity to do as he had fell into adulthood with his kid and then added on having a child with a disability that needs a lot of monetary support he ended up losing the chance to figure out who he is without all of that.

Even if it's not romantic (😔) it's great for him to realize he doesn't really need to be with anyone or fulfill a role he's not ready or willing to fill due to duty.

He can just be a father and work it iut that way.

Chris only wants his dad happy and I sense he knows his dad isn't happy at times or even worse he's not happy but is pretending so that his dad can be happy as he feels he has to give him that space/approval.

Chris is getting a storyline and he's always been observant so he'll most likely either explode in his feelings and tell his dad or tell him in a misunderstanding (he is getting to be a moody teen after all it's not going to be an adult reaction).

He's been close to death, heard his dad lose it and loat his mom. He's more mature than people give him credit for but the story hadn't included him much recently so we'll just have to see.

#buddie #evan buckley #911 abc #eddie diaz #911 fox #tv shows #oliver stark #ryan guzman #hen wilson #bobby nash #118 firefam #eddie diaz focused #eddie diaz meta #911 meta #christopher diaz

[octoberobserver]

Save The Last Dance For Me - Buddie Fic

Read on ao3 here

~*~

“I’m never drinking again.”

“Me neither.”

Buck groaned, cradling his head in the crook of his arm, a wide grin still spread across his face as he watched his sister and a little banged up but elated Chimney, have their first dance.

“They look happy,” Eddie murmured next to him, their shoulders brushing together as he took a large gulp of what must have been his fifth glass of water in the last hour.

It had been a…chaotic day, to say the least. From disastrous bachelor parties to losing the groom, to the same groom being in jeopardy all when he was supposed to marry the love of his life and the mother of his child, things seemed to keep going from bad to worse.

But with the help of their family and friends, they got there in the end. Maddie and Chim made their way back to one another and professed their love officially, all beautiful and legally binding.

Eddie got a lump in his throat as he watched his friend twirl his new bride, nudging Buck’s knee as he saw the tell-tale sheen in his gaze.

“You holdin’ up, okay?”

Buck nodded, turning those bright blue eyes to him.

A familiar warmth spread in Eddie’s chest at the sight. Buck had seemed…lighter these last couple of weeks. Ever since he came out to Eddie, and then the rest of the 118, it was as if a weight he hadn’t realized he’d had around him suddenly lifted, and Eddie, honestly, couldn’t be happier for his best friend.

“Yeah, I’m good. Happy it all worked out. They deserve it. Especially after everything they’ve been through.”

Eddie hummed in agreement, and the two of them went back to watching the couple, a companionable silence falling between them.

“You think you’ll ever do it again?”

He whirled around to find Buck’s stare tracing the side of his face, looking pensive.

“Dance?” he asked, being deliberately obtuse to try and avoid answering.

Buck rolled his eyes, knocking their shoulders together.

“Get married.”

Something sharp twisted in Eddie’s gut at that. His heart began to pick up speed.

“U-Uh…”

Fuck.

Ever since his talk with Bobby, he had asked himself that exact question. And a couple of more terrifying questions that he still didn’t have the answers to.

Their eyes locked.

“I’m not sure. Maybe? If…if I was with the right person.”

Buck held his gaze, looking as if he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure how.

“Evan?”

They turned towards the sudden voice behind them.

“Tommy!” Buck exclaimed excitedly, leaping out of his seat and enveloping him in a hug.

Eddie regarded the two of them, realizing that this was the first time he was seeing them together now that they were together. He watched Tommy’s hand land on Buck’s hip, the other coming up to grip his shoulder, squeezing it gently, his thumb sweeping over his collarbone.

Something painful suddenly jolted again in Eddie’s stomach, making him frown in confusion. He hurried to clear his expression as Tommy began to speak.

“You look…” he trailed off, taking in Buck’s dishevelled ‘Crockett’ outfit (Eddie still insisted that he was Tubbs, but whatever), “like you had an interesting night.”

Interesting sure was one way to describe it.

As if Buck was reflecting on just how interesting the night had been, he gave a half-shrug and sheepish grin.

“Not as interesting as you saving the day by rescuing Chimney in your chopper,” he quipped, nudging his shoulder as Tommy lowered his head almost bashfully.

“I don’t know, Buckley. Seein’ you in a pastel suit, even if it is a little dirty, is pretty high up there.”

Oh, God. They’re flirting.

Not that Eddie cared, of course. He was a good friend, an ally. He wasn’t uncomfortable or anything, of course not. He just couldn’t exactly explain the almost nauseated feeling in his gut at the moment. It was probably just something he ate or, you know, the gallons of alcohol he had consumed last night.

“Hey, Eddie.”

His head shot up to meet Tommy’s eye, and he quickly schooled his face into something more pleasant.

“Hey, man,” he raised from his seat to shake his hand, smacking him on the back in a half hug.

Tommy quirked an eyebrow at him, gaze trailing up and down.

“Tubbs?” he asked with a glint in his eye.

Eddie shook his head.

“I’m Crockett, he’s Tubbs, people just refuse to acknowledge it.”

Tommy laughed as Buck let out a groan.

“I’m more like Don Johnson, Eds. Accept it.”

“You didn’t even know who Don Johnson was until I told you,” he shot back. “Just because you insisted on binge-watching Miami Vice all week, does not mean you get to—”

“I wanted to stay on theme,” Buck interjected. “Chimney wanted the '80s, so he got the ‘80s. I wanted to be authentic to the character. Like, what’s it called…method acting?”

“Uh-huh. Okay, Daniel Day-Lewis.”

He was hyperaware of Tommy staring between them, watching their exchange with something unreadable on his face, and quickly cleared his throat.

“You want a beer, Tommy? I don’t think you’ll need your wallet tonight after getting the groom back to where he belongs.”

The three of them watched Chim dip Maddie, her peels of laughter audible over the music.

“Hey, you guys found him. I just drove. Or…flew,” Tommy chuckled as they all walked along the edge of the dancefloor, towards the bar.

“So, do I get to ask what happened to you?” he gestured to Eddie’s bare chest under his suit jacket.

Buck failed to stifle a snort.

“Little…karaoke mishap,” Eddie hurried to say as if that explained anything.

Tommy merely grinned, accepting the beer handed to him with an appreciative nod.

Eddie took that opportunity to glance back onto the dancefloor, noticing that Maddie was now waving frantically at them.

“Think you’re being summoned, Buck.”

Like an overexcited puppy, Buck bounced on the balls of his feet.

“Oh, yeah! Time for the brother-sister dance!”

Eddie and Tommy levelled him with twin looks of confusion as he flushed, babbling.

“Maddie insisted on a brother-sister dance instead of a father-daughter dance. Says it’ll bring her better luck this time around.”

With that, Buck smacked a quick kiss on Tommy’s cheek that had Eddie’s mouth twisting for some reason. He then clapped him on the shoulder and bounded across the room in a flash, taking Maddie’s hand as Chim took Hen’s.

Eddie watched the siblings and pseudo-siblings dance for a moment, feeling a gentle smile replace whatever was on his face at how happy they all looked.

“So. Evan told you we were dating.”

He was spat out of his reverie by Tommy’s words and tried not to let himself visibly react.

“Uh, yeah. He did. I’m happy for him. You too.”

He watched from the corner of his eye as Tommy shifted from one foot to the other, and suddenly worried that he had somehow said the wrong thing.

“Good. I’m glad. You’re his best friend, Eddie. He needs you.”

He could hear a slight tone colouring those words, but he couldn’t figure out what it was, so instead, he commented on something that had been plaguing him for a while now.

“You call him Evan.”

There was a beat where Tommy sipped his beer, gaze tailing Buck from across the room before he replied.

“You don’t.”

It was a non-answer to a non-question.

Eddie wanted to tell him that Buck didn’t really like being called Evan. That the only people who called him that were Maddie occasionally and his parents, with whom he had a complicated relationship. He wanted to tell him that Buck preferred ‘Buck’ because it was who he was now. Who he had become over the last seven years, away from his childhood home, his parents, and the ghosts that haunted him.

But he didn’t.

Because maybe Buck liked it when Tommy called him Evan. Maybe he was the exception. And that was none of Eddie’s business.

“No, I don’t. Not often. And usually only when I really need him to hear me.”

Because, Evan…you act like you’re expendable. But you’re wrong.

Tommy hummed, taking another sip.

“Does it bother you?”

That dragged his eyes off his friend’s cheerful face, meeting Tommy’s gaze, and despite what he had just been thinking, he heard himself reply:

“Why would you calling Buck ‘Evan’ bother me?”

Something weighty passed between them as if Tommy silently asked him something he had no idea how to answer.

“Not that,” he murmured, his focus zeroing back on Buck. “Does it bother you that we’re seeing each other?”

Eddie’s mouth went dry. He took another large gulp of water, forcing down a cough.

“O-Of course it doesn’t bother me. Why would it bother me?”

He almost cringed at the note of hysteria in his voice.

Tommy nudged him.

“Relax, Eddie. I wasn’t trying to insinuate anything. I just meant that I know how close you and Evan are, and how important he is in Chris’ life. I just wanna let you know that I don’t want what me and Buck might have come between that, man. And I’d get it if you were…concerned it would.”

Eddie wasn’t sure exactly how to answer that, so he merely nudged his shoulder back.

“S’all good. Yeah, Buck is my best friend. But you’re my friend too, Tommy. I’m psyched you two are givin’ it a shot.”

He wasn’t sure why he couldn’t meet his eye when he said that. Instead, he found himself staring back out on the dancefloor just in time to see Buck and Maddie do a stumbly double twirl, their identical grins on full display, Buck’s eyes glinting bright against the disco lights.

Eddie’s stomach did another random flip that made him glad he didn’t risk the appetisers earlier.

Seriously never drinking again.

“He is a terrible dancer,” Tommy laughed at Buck’s antics as he tried and failed to rope Chim and Hen into some sort of dancing quartet.

“Oh yeah, the worst,” Eddie agreed with a chuckle. “But he tries. And although he does care what people think, sometimes a little too much, he doesn’t let that stop him. That’s what counts.”

He wasn’t just talking about Buck’s dancing, obviously, and judging by Tommy's completive hum, he understood that.

“Yeah, it does,” his voice was fond in a way that was all too familiar to Eddie when it came to Evan Buckley. “I wish I had been more like him when I first came out.”

He chanced a glance at him, tilting his head.

“What do you mean?”

Something almost sad crossed Tommy’s face.

“I mean, I was kinda an asshole about it at first, to be honest,” he shrugged, wistful. “I was dealing with a lot, the…performance of it all, you know? Locker talk and beers with the boys and Captain Gerard’s idea of what men should be. Convincing myself that what I was feeling wasn’t actually happening and forcing myself to act out what I thought it meant to be a man and all that macho bullshit. Find a girl, get married, have kids, and provide the way a man should. But I couldn't do it. And in the process of resenting myself for that, it…cost me some good friendships. Maybe a couple of potential relationships, too. But Evan? He’s accepted himself with a gentleness that he deserves. That everyone deserves.”

Despite the music, some medley of cheesy pop songs surrounding them, Eddie felt as if his head had been submerged under water, a phantom clogging in his ears that had him shaking his head as they started to ring.

His chest felt tight, his palms starting to sweat.

“Eddie? You okay?” a distant voice asked, worlds away from what he was pretty sure was the beginnings of a panic—

A strong hand landed on his shoulder gently, and he glanced up, meeting a pair of bright blue familiar eyes.

His chest loosened.

His breathing steadied.

“Yeah,” he murmured, slightly shaking fingers grasping Buck’s forearm. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just…think I’m still a bit dehydrated, that’s all.”

He didn’t need to know Buck like the back of his hand to read that he wasn’t buying one word he had just said, but thankfully, Tommy provided a distraction.

“I believe you owe me a dance.”

Buck’s gaze flickered from Eddie to Tommy and back again before he let out a hesitant breath.

“I do.”

“Well, come on, Evan. Show me whatcha got.”

Buck glanced back to Eddie, almost as if seeking permission, which, nope, Eddie couldn’t let himself think of the implications of that.

“Go on,” he urged, plastering a smirk onto his still too stiff face. “Show him those moves, Crockett.”

Buck nodded, something still swimming in his eyes, but allowed himself to be pulled away.

Eddie stared after them as they made their way onto the dancefloor, hand in hand, their fingers linked. That same jolt in his stomach made its appearance for the umpteenth time.

I kinda can’t stop thinking about him…

That was what Buck had said that night, happiness practically radiating from him.

It had struck Eddie because, honestly, he couldn’t remember the last time his own thoughts were consumed by anyone who wasn’t his son or best—

Best friend.

Because, yeah. There were times he couldn’t stop thinking about Buck—many, many times over the years if he was being honest with himself. From grenades in legs and earthquakes to tsunamis and lawsuits to shootings and lightning strikes to everything in between, Evan Buckley had firmly taken up space in his mind—a lot. And it wasn’t just memories from the job, either.

There were drives to Chris and Carla introductions and Santa visits and skateboards and science projects and math homework and video games and movie marathons and breaking down doors and falling asleep on couches and poker nights and homemade meals and beers in kitchens and—

Suddenly, as if she were standing right beside him, he recalled what Maddie had said in her vows to Chimney a few hours earlier.

My brother once asked me what love should be. If it should be when you’re at your worst, and they’re at their worst, you have every reason to give up, and you still decide you wanna try again. I agreed with him then. And I agree with him even more now, because yeah, love is that and more, good and bad. Love is loving each other anyway…

He understood why she had included that, considering everything she and Chim had gone through over the years, but Eddie found, in that moment, a little selfishly, that he hadn’t been thinking about them. Instead, he thought about Buck and their relationship. How much they had gone through together since that first night in the back of the ambulance, and how he also agreed that, yeah, love should be that. Love should be choosing someone over and over again because you want to. Love should be seeing someone at their worst, and them at yours, and loving each other anyway.

But it hadn't occurred to him until just then that maybe not everyone thought about their best friends and their lives together during romantic wedding vows.

And that was before he had glanced up to find Buck already looking at him, from his place as Man of Honor at Maddie’s side, across from where he stood behind Hen at Chim’s. Eddie’s breath had died in his throat, unable to look away as Buck’s bright blue eyes locked on his while his sister talked about what true love meant, and how she had found her perfect partner in it.

You can have my back any day. Yeah, or you know, you could have mine.

He was startled back to the present as Buck let go of Tommy’s hand and whirled back around, clapping Eddie on the shoulder, leaning down, his breath ghosting over his ear in a way that had him suppressing a shiver.

“Go ask Marisol for a dance, Romeo.”

But I wanna dance with you.

The sudden thought had his breath hitching in his throat.

God knew they had danced like idiots only the night before during karaoke, but this was different. This was slow dancing at a formal event, in front of all of Buck’s family and friends.

I don’t care. I wanna dance with him.

Frowning at whatever he saw on Eddie’s face, Buck nodded towards Marisol, who stood off to the side with Christopher, Denny, and Karen. He gave his shoulder one last squeeze, right where it met his neck, his thumb lightly brushing his skin, before following Tommy.

Eddie stilled, watching him go, and felt something heavy and unnameable sink in his chest.

“Can I have this dance?”

He was ashamed to admit that the sudden appearance of Marisol at his side had him startled, but he recovered.

“Sure.”

They weaved their way in and out of the gathering couples. He clocked Bobby and Athena, Hen and Karen and, of course, Chim and Maddie as he passed, but he carefully kept his eyes from searching the room for anyone else.

Once they found a free spot, Eddie placed one hand over Marisol’s and clutched her waist with the other, leading slowly. He caught her eye for a brief, half-hearted smile before his gaze wandered aimlessly around the room.

The song was familiar, its melody soft, and its voice recognisable. Springsteen. A cover? It was definitely something he had heard in bars back in Texas, and could see Maddie and Chim singing together at karaoke.

🎵 Now you can dance every dance with the guy who gives you the eye, let him hold you tight. And you can smile every smile for the man who held your hand beneath the pale moonlight…🎵

A pastel blur waved in front of him, almost directly opposite where he and Marisol were.

There he was.

His best friend.

Buck was swaying in Tommy’s arms, his hands resting on his shoulders, lips upturned in a small, private smile.

Eddie’s heart did a somersault in his chest.

🎵 But don’t forget, who’s takin’ you home and in whose arms you’re gonna be. So darlin’, save the last dance for me… 🎵

Blue eyes met brown from across the dancefloor.

The pink and purple lights cast Buck in a soft, warm hue, shadows washing across his face as the lyrics whirled around them.

🎵 Oh, I know that the music’s fine like sparklin’ wine, go and have your fun. Laugh and sing, but while we’re apart, don’t give your heart to anyone… 🎵

Eddie fought not to clench his hands, distantly aware of Marisol, but unable to look away from Buck, who was still staring at him from over Tommy’s shoulder, something he couldn't decipher etched across every inch of him.

🎵 Baby, don’t you know, I love you so, can’t you feel it when we touch, I will never, never let you go… 🎵

He watched as Buck stumbled a little, their eye contact breaking abruptly as he hurried to apologize to Tommy. Eddie wanted to take that moment to look away, focus anywhere else—on his date, ideally—but he couldn’t. His gaze stayed glued to Buck, only half paying attention to his own movements, just enough to have some semblance of dancing, and just when he was going to forcibly drag his eyes away…

Buck looked back up.

Their eyes locked.

🎵 You can dance, go and carry on, ‘til the night is gone and it’s time to go. If he asks if you’re all alone, can he walk you home, you must tell him no… 🎵

Eddie felt his heart hammer in his chest, his throat go dry, a stinging welling behind his eyes.

🎵 ‘Cause don’t forget who’s takin’ you home and in whose arms you’re gonna be. Oh darlin’, save the last dance for me… 🎵

Oh. Well, there's the answer to one terrifying question.

The same question, if he were being truly honest with himself, that had first echoed in the back of his mind as he lay bleeding out on the street. Or maybe even buried underground while running out of air.

The last few bars faded out as all of the air felt like it had been sucked out of the room, suspending them in time. All he could see was Buck. Evan Buckley, his best friend in the whole world, staring back at him as if…as if he…

“—ddie?”

“Hmm?”

His eyes snapped down to Marisol, who was gently tapping the back of his neck.

“You with me?”

He swallowed the lump in his throat, nodding shakily.

“Yeah, yeah, I-I'm with...uh, sorry, I think the hangover is goin’ for round two.”

He almost cringed at the lame excuse, but it was all his addled brain could come up with, distantly aware that the music had changed to something fast and upbeat and altogether young in a way that made him feel very, very old.

“I…uh…I’m gonna go get a drink. Hair of the dog and all that. You want one?”

Before she could respond, he turned on his heel and high-tailed it off the dancefloor.

Tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone.

Eddie had told that to Chim once. And now, he was dancing at his wedding.

Gonna follow your own advice, Diaz?

Violently shaking his head, he tried to rid himself of his very, very, inconvenient and dangerous thoughts, dodging in and out of people, his chest heaving. He only made it halfway to the bar before he heard a familiar clacking of crutches, and suddenly, a small hand tugged at his.

“Dad!” Christopher yelled over the music. “You gotta see this. Denny’s gonna do The Worm.”

Eddie froze in his tracks, snapping his eyes shut for a beat to calm himself before slowly turning to meet his son, hoping his face seemed normal.

Because the thing was, this didn’t feel like a panic attack. Not really. When he took a second to think about it, he realized it was true. Yes, the racing heart was there, the sweating palms, and the spiralling thoughts, but the actual panic? The godawful, icy fear in his veins that he had felt when Ana had been mistaken for his wife? No. That was conspicuously absent. So he wasn’t panicking. He wasn’t freaking out at the sharp turn his brain had taken when thinking about Buck.

Because it wasn’t sharp at all.

His heart had gotten there long ago. And had paved the way.

Be sure you’re following your heart…

That was what Carla had said to him. Years ago now.

...shit. Has everyone seen it before me?

Because yeah. This was a revelation.

An epiphany.

The final puzzle piece slotting into place and showing him the full picture for the very first time.

The picture that they made. He and Christopher and Buck. Their little family of three. He and Buck, having each other’s backs from almost day one, being partners in nearly every sense of the word, trying and sometimes failing together and loving each other anyway.

Except that last puzzle piece also told him that that love? Yeah. It was more than someone should feel for their best friend.

Shit.

“I didn’t think people still did The Worm,” he forced out a reply, relieved when his voice came out relatively fine.

“It was a very brief trend on TikTok,” Buck appeared beside them. “Brought it to a whole new generation. Chris showed him last week.”

Eddie took a breath, allowing his new, full, completed puzzle to settle into his chest, his heart, before narrowing his eyes at him.

“But Christopher isn’t allowed on TikTok.”

A blush rose to Buck’s cheeks as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Eddie’s stomach swooped. By now he'd stopped counting.

“No. But I am. And he may have been scrolling through my For You page. But I promise it’s all puppy videos and silly dances, Eds.”

He hummed at that as Chris let out another groan, impatiently tugging on his arm and nudging Buck forward.

“Come on, I don’t wanna miss it!”

Resigned to their fate, the three of them made their way back out onto the dancefloor where a small crowd was gathering.

As they walked, Buck threw him a gentle, enigmatic smile that seemed to shift the air around them.

And Eddie…

New revelations and all, smiled back and followed him.

#buddie #911 #911 abc #911 on abc #911 fox #911 on fox #eddie diaz #evan buckley #my fanfiction

[evanbukley]

911 s7e05 thoughts:

sorry, but i laughed about eddie and screamed about evan at the first call

i thought henren wouldn't get another child for a moment

buck being so nervous during the date and tommy trying to calm him down. i love that he calls him evan. but i would've left too EVAN

of course he's not ready yet, it takes time and that's ok

BRO!!! 👀

the talk with maddie. love their sibling bond.

"you're really a nun?" lmao

saying no to good morning sex is a no go lmao

god damn EVAN BUCKLEY, YOU ARE SO PRETTY I'M LOSING MY MIND

hen being caught between being a mom and medical staff on the phone. typical

what would the 118 do without papa bobby?

the answer is they would go crazy 24/7

mara's 911 call

the buck & eddie scene was wholesome

night, night 🥹

i LOVE LOVE LOVE someone calling him EVAN!! GOD!! 🥰

WTF HAPPENED AT THE THEME PARTY??

#911 abc #911 #911 7x05 #text* #evan buckley #eddie diaz #maddie buckley #tommy kinard #hen wilson #karen wilson #bobby nash #the 118

[wackybuddiemewbs]

In the light of the most delicious promo shenanigan we have received... and the wonderful takes I have since read around here...

I will just say this about Buck's fit of jealousy and seeming outburst in a basketball court that will lead to Eddie losing a shoe like Cinderella...

I would so love to see this become so much more than Buck not being able to stomach Eddie hanging out with another guy.

Sure, as a Buddie truther, I wanna see that drama first and foremost. But I'm gonna stay clear of that for most this post. Because I don't want to focus on the potential outcomes between those two, but just take a moment to look at Buck as an individual character and where he currently stands in his life.

I feel like we've got a lot of "greatest hits" and scenes similar to what we've seen in previous seasons that remind the audience of how things have started, and how they have changed.

Zoom in on Buck...

Here is Evan Buckley, who came back from the dead... and he's in many ways where he was very early on, right? He is still looking for his place in the world, seemingly not that much wiser.

And now he's surrounded by people who are seemingly moving forward faster than him (which is not to say that he's jealous of their achievements or that he genuinely begrudges them for their happiness, don't get me wrong).

But I would love to see it being explored that Buck feels like he is yet again stuck in one place, whereas everyone else moves forward (and away from him). So it's less an issue of jealousy but of feeling of inadequacy. Cue for abandonment issues rearing their ugly heads yet again...

I mean, let's look at where his friends and family are at right now:

Love life: Chimney and Maddie have a child, have made it through some very rough patches, and are now getting married. Bobby and Athena nearly died, but yet again, came out of this stronger together than ever. Eddie is in a (dead) relationship, but a relationship no less.

Career: Hen is coming more and more into her own as a captain. Eddie seems to be exploring other job opportunities as well. And from the looks of it, he will be "chosen" by someone else, seeing his potential in another field of their job.

"Sense of adventure" (also Buck's coping mechanism, way to feel "alive"): Eddie may have an opportunity to get that, if he joins up with Tommy et al.

Parenthood: Chimney and Maddie are a happy family with Jee. Eddie and Christopher hit some bumps in the road. And while Eddie did turn to him for help, Buck was the catalyst for Christopher's abandonment issues to come to light in the face of his player attitude. But it's possible he felt less like he was being part of the solution than he actually was. And of course, there is still Connor and Kameron and the baby, which may be an issue yet to come back at him full-swing.

Contrast that with where Buck is standing right now: Even though he is supposed to finally be back in the world of the living, as Eddie said...

Love life: He is in no romantic, committed relationship. Even though we all know he wants to be.

Career: He is not advancing in his career the way others are. He is not considered as interim captain. He doesn't seem to have any other job opportunities outside being part of the team he loves. He is not seen for potentials in other fields.

"Sense of adventure" (also Buck's coping mechanism, way to feel "alive"): He is not "picked out" as a potential candidate to go on adventurous side quests, so to speak. He doesn't get something to feed his compulsion, which would be those daredevil moves or new shiny helicopters that Eddie may get to operate, if he chooses to go ahead with this.

Parenthood: He does not perceive himself as a parental figure for Christopher, as far as I'm concerned (even though he is...). The child he helped two people have is not his to have, donor, not dad. Even though I am convinced that Evan "I love kids" Buckley definitely wants to be a father, and that the experiences of last season cemented that (see how his face lit up in his coma dream at the mention of "his" kids, only for them to turn out the kids he taught at school).

Which is not to say that he hasn't progressed (double negations!). I think he has an understanding that he is a part of this family, more than ever. But. Buck struggled last season with finding peace and finding ways to move forward. His entire arc has been focused on "software updates" and evolving into someone "worthy", someone who'd be loved anyway, someone who could have true peace (with himself).

And I still think this hasn't been fully resolved. He is not at peace with his life, even though he may look the part (or tries to look the part). Last season, it became apparent that he wasn't himself ever since the lighting strike. And, as Eddie pointed out to him, how could he be? This fundamentally changed him. And yet... nothing much's changed in his life. Or rather, it feels like someone hit the reset button for him, every time he thought he was moving forward.

Sure, he made some important steps in that direction. He tries to embrace life again, after he fell into the arms of a death doula who seemingly only wanted to talk about death, death, death. Buck wants to move on from that. He is not (or no longer as) fascinated by it. But. He isn't there. Not yet anyway.

But what he can see is that life is moving on at a fast pace, and to me, it almost feels like he is in a rush to catch up again. Only to see that people are finding ways to move on, rightfully use opportunities to grow and advance in their lives. Whereas he feels like all he can do is be good old Buck again, someone you don't want your kid to be a role model for.

"So (they don't) end up like me."

I mean, for me, the imagery of the couch still comes to mind whenever I think about this. This is still not the couch he picked out by himself. He seems to be in this strange sort of limbo where he knows that he has a family to rely on, wants what's best for him, but deep-down still fears that he won't get there any time soon. That he is not enough, still. That he needs another software update to kick-start his life back into action and movement and improvement, but it's just not happening, no matter what he does.

Which is a long-ass, rambled way of saying... Buck may finally reach the point where he has to question the way he's coped in the past with his abandonment issues, his fear of rejection, and the war he's been raging against himself for so long. In an effort to be "someone", as he once promised his sister. And how that may finally give him that much-needed kick-start. And I do hope the narrative makes more out of this than "good old Buck being jealous of other people teehee".

How that may be resolved? I don't know. I obviously hope for the Buddie in it all, and I see all the potential (while ogling at the image of Eddie and Buck in the kitchen with those misty eyes... and hands in places they haven't been in seasons!). Because Buck's relationship with Eddie is what ticks almost all of those boxes, honestly (except for the career issue, I guess).

But yeah, can't wait to see that guy all bewildered and bothered (and potentially getting someone else very much hot and bothered, *ahem*).

That being said... I shall now crawl back under a rock and see how it all plays out. Cheers!

#911 spoilers #evan buckley #buddie #evan buck buckley #911 season 7 #911 season 7 spoilers #911 on abc

[existential-queeer]

Out of everything in 6x10 I predicted would break me, I don't think anything could've prepared me for the stunned, horrified look on Bobby's face throughout the whole ordeal, but especially when Chim does CPR on Buck. That made the situation REAL to Bobby. As Chim does compressions, Bobby is in the background just staring in dismay and horror as someone does CPR on his son. He's already lost 2 kids, a wife, and now one of his dearest friends.

My mans is now watching as his adopted son, who he loves so dearly, is having CPR performed on him. He had to watch him fall and then watch helplessly as Chim does CPR on him. He screams for him but he gets no response. He knows he's still a captain, but he's a dad too.

The moment they walk through those glass doors and hand Buck to the hospital staff, the adrenaline will wear off, he will stop being a captain, and whether he likes it or not, he will shatter and break under the weight of all his grief and guilt that he's carried around for so long.

Now he might lose another child and feel that same stabbing guilt in his chest as he did when his first two children died. Yet again, he can only watch helplessly from a distance and can't do anything to save them. If you think he's going to handle this with ease and not feel unimaginable guilt for sending Buck up the ladder and blame himself, just like how he blames himself for the death of his first family, you're wrong.

#it broke me #that poor man #oh god i hope this doesnt push him to drink #hes going to be a mess #911 #911 fox #evan buckley #bobby nash #bobby and buck #dad!bobby #actual father bobby nash #robert nash #buck and bobby