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sedgewick-gayble · 7 months

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Okay, so, here's my idea/theory/whatever you wanna call it: What if Fish only really started dating his girlfriend as a way to distract himself from the fact that he was attracted to men/Wes.

Hear me out, I'm not saying he's not Bi or that he's not at least somewhat attracted to women. What I'm saying is, what if he started to realise that he was also attracted to men, so as a way to hide/deny this, he started dating someone he didn't really have feelings for/someone who didn't really have feelings for him.

From the very limited we've seen (or rather, what we've heard) about Fish's girlfriend, we know at least two things; 1) She likes to be taken out on weekend nights and gets upset when she's not, and 2) She apparently "settled" for Fish's face. Now, this is incredibly limited information, but I think we can garner at least a little bit from it.

In relation to 1, it's less about the girlfriend's reaction to not being taken out and more about Fish's reaction to how she feels. "My girl's already upset I can't take her out weekend nights." That doesn't really make it sound like Fish was looking forward to taking her out or that hes also upset about it, more that he's just upset he has to deal with her being unhappy about it.

In relation to 2, there's at least two points where we can kinda judge her feelings for/thoughts about Fish, namely "She's gonna dust off when she sees my face." And "She settled for my face. Now it's worse." This kinda feels like it's hinting that Fish's girlfriend is with him less because she likes who he is as a person and more for superficial reasons. We know these reasons are not his looks because she "settled" for them, and rather than be concerned that Fish got injured, is gonna be more upset that his face is "worse." If I had to guess, maybe his social standing?

Maybe she was the kinda girl who wanted to date a tough guy in a gang and she just settled for Fish cause she figured that, even if she didn't consider him attractive, he was still a tough gang member, only to realise later on that Fish's line of work meant he couldn't take her out when she wanted to go out. Or hell, maybe she got involved for the same reason Fish did; to hide a part of her that she knew wouldn't be socially accepted, and to give off the outward appearance of being "normal".

Another point/idea I had is based on something you mentioned. That being, the fact that Fish is more willing to be open sexually around men than women. Like you said, Fish is possibly very vanilla with women outside of very basic things, possibly repressing or hiding a lot of the parts of himself that he thinks women would find undesirable, both sexually as well as just basic parts of who he is. But with men, specifically Wes, he'd probably be more willing to let those parts be seen.

I'm not saying Fish's girlfriend is awful or a bitch, or even that Fish doesnt actually like her. I think he does care for her, and that's why he doesn't talk about her within the gang to keep her safe, thus why Wes only knows her as "The Mystery Girl."

I'm just saying that, by the sounds of it, she seems to be in the relationship for the wrong reasons, just like Fish.

So i feel like this be true in the sense of his relationship being a bearded relationship (something meant to distract the people around him from his queerness (also think this was what mitzi and atlas's marriage was but UNRELATED)) as well as it being a partnership that he's gotten himself into as nothing more than a last ditch attempt to convince himself that he's straight and, at the least, give him something romantic and sexual to focus on that wasnt his festering yearning for his work partner

From what i can tell from the very limited information i have, both him and his girlfriend aren't toxic in the way that they're hurting eachother, or even really dislike eachother, but they're both in it for more superficial reasons and a want to achieve a fantasy (fishs being a normal, heteronormative life, and his gfs likely being getting to date the cool dangerous gang member, as you said)

#blah blah blah I'm making no sense #lackadaisy ♧#lackadaisy #lackadaisy fish #nsft mention #ask #anonymous

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statementlou · 9 months

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i’m sorry to bring this up again, but i wanted to ask how are you making sense of harry having his former girlfriend’s name tattooed on his thigh if you don’t think they were really together? i’m not a larrie and i follow you for your louis content, but i respect your opinions, so i guess i’m coming more from a place of curiosity rather than seeking reassurance. do you not even entertain for one second the idea that you might’ve been wrong about things? that harry was really in a relationship with olivia? that he might actually be attracted to women? that he might’ve been with louis once upon a time but not anymore? have you ever challenged your confirmation bias? again, i’m not trying to attack you, i really just want to understand where you stand. i hope u don’t take this the wrong way.

well first of all you bring up the very good point that there are actually multiple Qs at play and not just one, despite the fandom's (and my) attempts to simplify things. I personally am open to the possibility that Harry and Louis are no longer together- we don't have enough info to say for sure either way about that, and I am constantly recalibrating and considering and I'm going to be totally honest, getting flat out ANNOYED at how often I find myself being like oh damn they ARE still (or again) together ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Because it seems so improbable and illogical! You think I don't KNOW I sound fucking crazy?! Absolutely infuriating, and yet there are just all these little Things all the time. Plus ofc the fact that they both constantly wink wink larrie stuff to the fandom which could just be playing to the crowd... except then they both continually take it that little extra way that makes me go oh but... you really didn't NEED to go THERE that seems VERY pointed?? But also sometimes I go well. Okay, maybe not. Since they both seem super happy at this point, it doesn't stress me out to think they might have split, the way it would if they seemed miserable and were still churning out heartbreak songs, but it's schrodingers relationship and with all the savvy they've acquired around this stuff and all the balls they're keeping in the air wrt to fandom etc that's unlikely to change in favor of us knowing anything for sure for a very long time, if ever. But I do not doubt that they WERE together, it's simply not realistic. The evidence of it is overwhelming and imo undeniable when taken all together. And the thing is that knowing one thing with certainty (that they were together back when), having really looked at the things that happened during that time, does actually have a lot of bearing on the rest of it even if they aren't together anymore. Because knowing that and having seen the way fake relationships to make them seem straight were managed back then means that when I see the EXACT SAME things being done in the current day, like they are working from a fucking blueprint, no, I don't look at that and think it might be real. I know that Louis and Eleanor wasn't real in... whenever they allegedly got together lol, that story still isn't even quite straight, so why would I believe they were together in 2020? And if I know Louis has a tattoo for a fake girlfriend why would it change my mind about a million things I can see with my own eyes if Harry did the same (if indeed he even has who tf knows)? So despite what I said at the beginning, in the end it kind of does just come down to the one question people are always asking, are you a larrie? Because when you've actually been down the rabbit hole of details that ends up with you saying yes to that question, it's like acquiring a rosetta stone that unlocks the ability to read everything else, like putting on xray glasses, and I look at what is so obviously a publicity relationship (holivia) and whether H and L are still together has nothing to do with why I don't think it's real. Like could a celeb relationship be both used in typical ways for publicity and be or become real on some level (looking at you Liam, heyyy), sure, but for this question the fact that I have never seen Harry show the slightest sign of attraction to a woman in his whole life and he so clearly embraces and identifies so strongly with gay male culture in every possible way and never shuts up about how much he loves cock does play into my thinking; I simply do not think he is attracted to women, no, and I have yet to see him do anything that doesn't seem consistent with things a closeted pop star might chose to do. So in conclusion yes I have challenged my bias and decided I'm right lol! But for real- all the time I consider that they perhaps aren't together but that isn't really the point when it comes to believing they are gay.

#I feel like the follow up anons to this will logically be SO WHY NOT BRAD so lemme just jump on that cause I don't really want to #have a whole thing about that #honestly for me it's WHY BRAD. It makes perfect sense for him to be with harry all the time (and therefore for them to borrow each others #jumpers yes) so why would I think they were dating any more than I think H is dating his security guard or luis. the fandom just latches #onto the idea that people around them who they think would look hot with are a thing but other than that literally NOTHING about this guy's #association with H is actually different than many other employee/pals imo and I see literally nothing that suggests anything going on ther #so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#I mean I DO think Harry has weirdly fluid boundaries around considering his employees friends in a way that seems like he doesn't #really GET the power differential possibly (because how could he he's been on that side of it his whole adult life) but I'm not there #behind the scenes with them; hopefully that's not the case #but that's a separate issue #blah blah blah #long post #I TRIED to keep it short and tidy but NO people gonna ask the long form questions #which btw I appreciate I do enjoy a good thoughtful anon thx

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brionnne · 3 days

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note that i will only ever call mithrun "stupid" jokingly. by "stupid", i only mean "frustrating behavior that i am immensely familar with". seeing him do something that makes me groan aloud, closing my eyes, sighing "stupid (affectionate, mournful)". like when he fucking... his dumbass "i don't want to [use the bathroom] right now, so it's fine." oughh. i know you! i know you! that's not how that works!!! and he's smart!!! he's so smart... but god, god... he's kind of an absent professor. he's kind of a cloudcuckoolander. i love him dearly. he gets called a dummy, a little idiot, and i flick his forehead, a little bonk of hard-heads, like "try again, idiot. that's not how bodies work." and "ooh, 'that's not going to work'. yes it is. shut up, stoopid. stubborn little man, my god." rolling my eyes forever.

#mithrun #i'm not devaluing his intelligence #i feel like both can be true - that someone can be really smart but also take really stupid actions conversely #i fucking KNOW i do all the time #and i don't think there's anything particularly wrong with the word #it's not that his intelligence is compromised in any sense or that i think he's incapable #and it is solely #the fact that he is a stubborn little guy who doesn't listen and just goes 'that won't work' / 'i don't want to' / etc.#like... BUDDY...#buddy BOY #dummy #you are NOT a good judge of this ok?#zip ya lip little man #i know what you are #and i ain't fuckin listening to ya!#god. 'that won't work'. blah blah blah. okay sleepy. see you next panel.#fuckin knew that was going to happen #'i'm not tired' (his body stops working and he doesn't know why)#oh. OH. you're NOT? buddy i KNOW what happened ok? you need some fuckin rest #like - i'm gonna kick your legs out from under you + you're going to fall gently into bed + i tuck you in and smooch you #but i also fucking complain because OF COURSE YOU'RE TIRED ! you bastard ! go sleepy bye #it's his poor decisions and i know why he does them - because he doesn't know - but by god #it's also a little like please... listen to yourself...#on the one hand he doesn't know and never will #on the other hand ... you have been awake for hours and hours without sleep... please get some rest...#but yeah as someone who forgets needs and has little sense of that it is like... objectively a stupid experience #and i don't say that with judgement in my heart but it feels REALLY stupid when your body does something and you don't know why #it's not the disability though that makes me say as much - it is fully the fact that he is SO STUBBORN! SO STUBBORN!!!!#you say you're not tired and fall down? hm? then maybe you are? i know you don't know but whatever. let's get you to bed boy. ok?#caring for him + shaking my head like i get it so much but you gotta sleep! 'this won't work'. ok liar... i already know it will.

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aeb-art · 3 months

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so i realized that my sona being geo's coworker would mean we have the same boss. not sure how i didn't consider that sooner, but it spiraled into... this. i'm calling it the bad ending. it is so so so long, so everything is below the read more o7 enjoy

stellar city and the mall toons belong to @8um8le as always

cw: assault and implied murder at the end

genuinely this feels like something fourteen year old me would wanna read and that is such a wonderful feeling, i had so much fun making this the past few days ouo

oh and thank you, ballad, i was kinda self-conscious on if the flower pot shard as a weapon was a good idea or not ^^; also thank you for making all these characters. drawing them has really made creating art more joyful these past few weeks (or months? geez...)

okay i'm done being a sap! i hope you enjoyed! have a lovely day/night! <333

#2024 #stellar city #sc geo #i would like to formally apologize to pyro specifically.......... i promise i adore you but i needed the bridges to burn for the drama...#i need to draw pyro hydro and tele all super happy having the best time like i feel bad ;o;#sc pyro #sc hydro #sc tele #sc ash #self insert #self ship #something something the straw that broke the camel's back blah blah blah #if at any point you think 'ash this doesn't make sense' shhhhhh it doesn't have to just be silly with it shhhhhhhhhhhhh #also geo is wearing my sona's hoodie which is why it's big on him and hydro is wrapped in a big blanket- i just thought they'd be cute #okay i'm done now for real i've made you all read too much already ;o; byebye love you mwah #edit: i forgot the violence filter… apologies fellas

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dancedance-resolution · 9 months

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i started a supercorp portrait of a lady on fire au like three years ago. i'm never going to finish it, but the writing style is pretty cool, so i want to share it. so um enjoy the prologue and a bit of chapter one?

---

Prologue. Bonnelles, France. 1786.

“First, my contours,” Kara said, her voice soft and level. She looked out upon the dozen or so young women, their eyes darting back and forth from their papers to Kara herself. “The outline,” she continued. The increasingly swift sound of scratching charcoal prompted Kara to further instruct, “Not too fast. Take time to look at me.” She paused. “See how my arms are placed.”

At that moment, Kara saw the painting.

She swallowed and took in a breath; she schooled her expression before letting out the air with a pathetically soft “My hands.” Her students’ gaze followed her verbal direction, now observing as Kara’s fingers curled with remembrance. Their own hands now began to sketch the slope of hers—the slope that had once coaxed breathy moans from a lover, the slope that had once created that very painting in all of its hollow longing.

Kara felt her heart rate accelerating, and her attempts at calming deep breaths only made her shoulders shake unsteadily. “Who brought that painting out?” Her eyes darted around, landing on each possible offender, as she tensed her core and adopted a stern countenance.

Every student dutifully turned to look at the work.

It was an especially young girl who finally lifted her hand. “I brought it. From the stock room. Should I have not?”

Kara’s “no” felt like a brick, its weight threatening to pry tears from her reddening eyes. So Kara took another swallow, a handful of blinks, a few more steadying breaths.

“Did you paint it?” the girl asked innocently. Nia, her name was? She stared at Kara, oblivious to the flood of sound overwhelming Kara’s mind and echoing in the cavern of her heart.

“Yes,” Kara uttered softly, the word barely audible as they fell from her lips. “A long time ago.”

Nia’s head snapped back to examine the painting once more. It stood on an old but sturdy easel, tattooed and scarred but still standing. The artwork itself was brooding, with a white sun bleeding into a dark vignette. Heavy clumps of clouds occupied the sky and caged some of the sun’s rays, so the fire burning behind the woman was bright enough in comparison to create a dragging shadow of her figure. The flames crawled up the back of her windswept dress, bringing sharp tension to an otherwise lulling, melancholy landscape.

“What’s the title?”

The sound of the sea began to swell in Kara’s head. Her lips trembled. Her body unwittingly swayed slightly. “Portrait of a Lady on Fire.”

---

Chapter I. The island of Brittany, France, and the surrounding sea. 1779.

Kara squinted into the distance, her face scrunching up a bit as she desperately tried to shield her eyes from the harsh glare of the sun on the water. For all its gorgeous teals and sparkling peaks, it certainly did make her wish for one of those brimmed hats the rowers were all wearing. With every one of their paced paddles, the cork-like little canoe bobbed haphazardly. Kara rather felt as if she were in the wine glass of a thoroughly drunken Marie Antoinette.

At least she wasn’t prone to seasickness.

She still felt quite unsteady, though, being thrown about and forced to pathetically grab onto the boat’s low walls. She leaned forward, trying to regain her balance and ground herself despite the absence of ground.

The wooden pallet holding her canvas was, apparently, as unstable as she was, and the next thing Kara knew, it had been lurched off of the boat like vomit from a drunkard. Kara watched helplessly as it thrashed among the choppy waves, the sea carrying it a few feet from the boat.

The chief rower met her desperate look with exhausted resignation; he ceased his paddling as Kara shed her overcoat and placed a precarious foot on the edge of the canoe.

With a strained creak from the boat’s wood, she jumped into the water, dress billowing behind her. Her first gasp for air upon emerging from the water was audible; she could feel the effort in her throat. Her arms moved in laborious little arcs as she slowly made her way towards the floating pallet and finally made a desperate reach for it. Kara’s fingers grasped onto a wooden board, and she pulled herself up onto it with a grunt.

---

The incessant wind upon the sea was certainly not helping Kara. Dripping wet, she wrapped herself up in her overcoat in a pitiful plea for warmth. She held the edges of the garment up to her lips, the sensation of the dry fabric bringing her some comfort as she closed her eyes and left herself to the mercy of the mighty sea.

But the interminable rocking of the feeble boat wouldn’t allow her any rest.

Kara wasn’t very religious, not anymore. Yet, the sight of the cliffs and coast of Brittany moved her to relieved prayer.

---

The sun had already begun to set as Kara trekked up the sandy coast. Her legs ached with every stumbling, unsure step—maybe she was a bit seasick after all—and her hands were tired of having to grip her full skirt to keep it out of her way.

She paused on the rocks, taking a moment to manually wring some of the water out of her skirt. She filled her lungs with an arduous breath before slinging the rope holding the pallet over her shoulder. Next came the fabric sling, which housed her trunk of personal items—she positioned it on her back with careful poise.

The journey up the cliffs and towards the trees was exhausting. Kara’s skirt required repositioning every few seconds, the rope was digging into her shoulder, and the pallet and trunk slammed into her back with each wobbling step. By the time she reached the straight path up to the residence, her breaths were heavy and pained, and the sun was nearly fully hidden beneath the horizon.

A soft light emanated from the windows above the mansion’s door, helping Kara feel a bit more secure as she knocked. A short blonde woman answered her summon and introduced herself with a flat “I’m Eve.” She opened the door a bit wider and gestured with her body for Kara to come in.

Eve held a small candle as she guided Kara up the stairs, the sounds of their shoes echoing through the grand yet starkly undecorated hallway. The walls of the stairwell were cement bricks, and the wrought iron bannister was rather plain and geometric.

They came to a stop in front of a similarly void room, bare save a few heavy curtains and a daybed. The raised panels along these walls matched the white-painted wood of the window frames, and they gave the chamber some elegant character.

While Eve entered the comparatively less intimidating room, Kara stayed back a moment, taking in the shafts of muted blue light from the windows and the contrasting warm glow of leaping flames from the central fireplace.

Eve crouched down to poke at the fire as Kara set down her belongings. “It was a reception room,” Eve explained. “Though I’ve never seen it used.”

The fire crackled pleasantly. “Have you been here long?” Kara inquired.

“Three years,” Eve answered, directing her attention back to the fire.

Kara peeled off her overcoat and draped it along the wainscoting. “Do you like it here?”

“Yes,” Eve said simply as she stood up. She turned to Kara, meeting her eyes now as her hands smoothed over her skirt. “I’ll let you get dry.” And with a nod, she was on her way.

Kara watched her every step.

Once the door closed, she hastily began removing her overskirt. It fell to the dark herringbone floor with an unglamorous thud.

---

There was no method or grace to the way Kara wrapped her hand around the rusting crowbar, but with a few jerks, she’d managed to successfully pry the top off of the pallet.

After setting down the wood cover, Kara extended her hand, letting it fall clumsily onto the slick canvas in front of her. It was still wet, and her hand’s small circular movement caused moisture to pool at her fingertips, as if her touch had beckoned the water. So her hand withdrew, and Kara slid the canvas out from its container. Her eyes danced over the surface as she considered how to dry it, holding it in front of herself like the Communion host of an evening Mass.

---

Kara decided to accompany her drying canvas, which was now positioned next to the fireplace. Stripped naked, she sat in front of the fire and pulled her legs towards herself—she was vulnerable, sitting there bare and in a new environment, and the action made her feel a bit more small, compact, and safe.

Kara set down her candle so she could light her tobacco pipe with the flames. Her large, smoky exhales grounded her, in a way, with the familiar sight and smell acting as a sort of sedative. And she stared forward, expression blank but unmistakably worn.

---

Kara walked barefoot along the cement floor, making her way through the hall and to the pantry room wrapped in nothing but her robe-like smock.

#again i have no intention of finishing so be forewarned etc #supergirl #supercorp poalof au #i have been feeling a bit weird going through my old work bc. i don't think i've really improved in the three years since starting this???#and i quite literally haven't written anything in 2023 other than like the 1000ish words to finish up this final chapter of tree of my song #&those thousand words genuinely feel worse than my old writing #because i'm out of practice i think #it's weird bc writing is something i think of as super important to me - like in less than a month i'll literally be at community college a #ain despite how bad my experience was last time with it bc i theoretically want to take classes that will make me a better writer #so like blah blah blah do i want to dedicate more of myself and my energy towards writing long term or do i just like the idea of being a #writer.#blah blah blah if i had to do a rose colored glasses on this all it would be. since january i have read 60something books and before this y #ar i hadnt been an avid reader in ages. and most of those books have been in the genre/niche i want to end up writing in #so i was learning writing by reading in that sense #hmm etc etc #i should probably stop taking myself and all of this so seriously lol idk #i'm theoretically back into writing and trying to prioritize it more again so (thumbs up emoji)

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