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#bg3 companion headcanons
theladyismyshepard · 3 months
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On Your Knees, I Stand Tall
NSFW, MDNI below the cut
(How the Ladies Would Suck Your Magical!Dick)
Shadowheart –
The teasing, little devil… The way she looked at you so coquettishly through her lashes, the campfire burning in her eyes just as equally as her desire. You were squirming before she even grabbed your hand to guide you back to her tent. You were trembling when you felt magic washing over you, and before your very eyes you watched as the front of your trousers swelled with a sudden bulge.
You couldn’t help the whimper, and you also couldn’t help but to be soothed by her following cooing.
“It’s okay, my love,” Shadowheart whispered against your lips, giving them a quick, but loving kiss before moving to continue a trail down your chin and to your neck, “Lay back and allow me to make you feel good,”
Your brain was short-circuiting from the new sensations that you were unaccustomed to. With each soft kiss placed on your skin, you felt a twitch from your new member, and you knew she felt it poking into her if her excited giggling was anything to go by. She pulled your shirt up just enough to reveal your chest and after she placed a kiss atop each nipple, she continued her descent down your stomach until she licked at your pubic bone.
You were already panting against the strain of your trousers against your erection. When Shadowheart’s hands finally freed you from the restraint, your dick was standing at attention, just for her attention. Her eyes were wide as she examined you in all your glory, but before you could feel any embarrassed urge to cover yourself, she leaned forward and gave the tip an experimental lick before pulling back to gauge your reaction.
Your head fell back but you were quick to pick it back up. Watching Shadowheart suck on your magical dick was not a sight you were willing to miss. Your chest was stuttering with each uneven breath and it was the unspoken push that she needed to dive back in. The wet heat of her mouth engulfed just the head at first, but after a few strokes with her tongue, she was opening up to take more of your length. Shadowheart loved to take her time with you, and this was no different. She slicked up every bit of your dick, slow and torturous inch by slow and torturous inch.
She was intent on maintaining your eye contact, but her eyes fluttered shut and if you weren’t mistaken, you’d say she was enjoying herself just as much as you were. Her head began bobbing up and down as she hollowed out her cheeks, and the wet pull had you seeing stars. It was a miracle your hands hadn’t grabbed at the back of her neck and your hips didn’t pump your dick deeper down her throat. No, you wanted this to last.
Your hands finally acted as though they had a mind of their own. Your left hand wound into the hair behind her ear and you gave her scalp an affectionate little scratch. Your right hand cupped her full cheek and your thumb massaged smooth circles as you felt your own bulge encased within. Her eyes fluttered open at your sweet touches and she briefly nuzzled against your hand. You used the other hand that was scratching behind her ear to brush back some of the hair from her face.
Oh… She flattened her tongue against the underside of the shaft, and your head fell back against the bedroll as you closed your eyes. Her hand splayed out across your hip, her fingertips gently scratching at the sensitive skin there, and watched as your stomach fluttered. Your hips began to shallowly pump after your building release, and she moaned so titillatingly, encouraging you to use her mouth however you needed.
The vibrations of her throat coupled with the quickened suction as she sucked you with more intent, sensing your need to cum without you even begging for it, had you spilling onto her tongue until you were empty. She placed one last kiss on the tip of your rapidly softening member before it disappeared altogether.
Lae'zel –
Lae’zel was never one to back down from a challenge, and when you arched your brow, a playful little grin on full display along with your newly erect member, she charged head-on into your little game. She was none-too-gentle when she seized forward and grabbed onto your dick. For all her brutish front, she stroked your member almost cautiously while watching your face the entire time.
You made a show of your pleasure to embolden her movement, and once she saw that you were enjoying the feel of her hand, she kneeled before you. You had seen the githyanki kneel before gods and superiors, and now you know the rush they must have felt. But you doubted that they knew the joys of having her mouth take the entirety of their length in one go.
You were trying to force air through your lungs even though your throat was constricting around each gasping breath. Your hands instinctively landed on her shoulders as a means to ground both of you to the present. Lae’zel pulled back just enough to keep the head between her thin lips, and dove back in with just as much vigor. It was almost as if she had a specific goal in mind, and she wouldn’t slow her pace until she carried it out.
Her battle-weathered hands reached up to cup your rear. Her fingers splayed out across your ass before her fingernails pinched into your flesh. You were a jumbled mess torn between the ecstasy that was the slick, wet warmth of Lae’zel’s tongue and the exquisite throbbing of her commanding grip. All you could do was relish in what Lae’zel was offering up to you from down on her knees.
She used her grip on your rear as leverage to jolt you forward and the underside of your cock smoothly slid across the expanse of her tongue. The whine bubbled in the back of your throat with no warning as your right hand traveled from her shoulder to the back of her neck. You made no move to bury your dick further into her mouth, you just felt the incessant need for physical contact, to deepen the connection between you two if it were even possible to get any closer.
You pet at the back of her neck, your fingers lazily scratching at the fine hairs at the base of her scalp. You felt the high tip of her nose nuzzle against a patch of your pubic hair before you felt her hot breath exhale through her nostrils, warming and condensing your flesh. You stare down at her in amazement as she deepthroated every inch of you, slowly pulled back, and forcefully pushed your length back in in one go.
Lae’zel’s only intention at the moment was to get you off, and she wasted no time with explicit words or gentle handiwork. She was a battle-hardened warrior who was used to the fast-paced life, so she had a habit of sometimes treating your orgasm as a mission for her to complete with efficiency and speed. As you felt your lower stomach muscles twitching, you knew the exact moment you were standing right on the edge, about to plummet head-first into a body-rocking orgasm.
“Do it,” Lae’zel pulled back to command gruffly, her throat audibly sore from having it stretched out, and before you could even swallow down your gasping breaths, she licked a hard swipe up the head of your dick, taking in the clear liquid oozing from it.
“Lae,” It was a mixture of a moan and a whine, but it was all you needed to say to convey that you were so close, but you needed something to shove you right over the edge.
Your hands were now tangled in her hair and your hips were jogging forward without your permission as you subconsciously began to fuck her mouth. With every pump forward she would meet you halfway and with every withdrawal she would pull back as well, meeting your rhythm with fervor. After one particular motion where you felt yourself bottom out, one of the hands that was still gripping your ass drifted down to caress the back of your thigh, and the feather-light tickling against your skin had you painting the back of her throat with your cum. Your new member vanished before Lae’zel could even release you, and she was licking her lips at both the disappearance and the new taste on her tongue.
Karlach –
You had felt Karlach’s unwavering gaze on the front of your pants from the moment an unfamiliar spell had been cast on you. Initially, you were too frantic to feel any sort of humiliation when Shadowheart proved clueless as well and you decided the wisdom that Jahiera would surely have to offer would be beneficial. Karlach was unnaturally quiet the entire time you explained your situation to the druid. All she could muster up was a shrug and told you to put it to use while giving Karlach a wink.
The tiefling remained just as quiet even when you two had reached the room you would be sharing that night, two separate beds turned down and at the ready for you. She said not a word even when you grumbled a few incredulous remarks about Jahiera’s apparent lack of expertise on your not-so-little “problem”. You sighed in defeat and slumped back on your bed, your arms crossed behind your head and acting as a cushion as you stared up at the ceiling with a furrowed brow.
There was a very noticeable tent standing tall in your pants, and you wouldn’t lie and say it didn’t make you feel like squirming right out of your own skin. You had to fight against the reflexive urge to reach down and squeeze some sort of pressure to it. To distract yourself, you craned your neck to engage in some sort of small talk with Karlach, but the words died on your lips when you noticed her standing rigidly at the foot of her bed, the flames of her body burning bright.
“Are you…” You started but trailed off when you noticed the tiefling sweating more profusely than usual, prompting you to exhale shakily.
Karlach seemed to startle from her daze and subconsciously licked her lips before clearing her throat. Your eyes, which were dancing across every feature of her face, caught the motion of her tongue, and you felt self-conscious at the visible twitch of your dick. You moved to cover yourself, but Karlach was suddenly before you, moving to catch your hands, but thinking better of it at the last second and instead her hands hovered over yours.
“You don’t have to hide from me, ya know,” Karlach assured, giving you her signature sunny smile, before it morphed into a smirk, “I think you look hot as fuck right now,”
Your mouth opened and closed, but you were speechless at her blatant desire. You weren’t sure what exactly she had in mind, but you now knew that your new member must have been what had Karlach so speechless herself earlier. The thought of Karlach so zoned out with nothing but your dick guiding her forward was surprisingly quite the turn on for you. You pulled your hands back and returned your arms behind your head once again, keeping a curious eye on her the entire time to see what she would do.
Your stomach was quickly rising and falling with each quick breath you took, and you shuddered from the strain of your trousers against your growing erection. Karlach must have sensed your uncomfortable situation, and with her being the kindest person that you knew, she was quick to gather her emotions in a well-practiced routine, just enough to calm her visibly licking flames before she allowed herself to reach closer into your space.
Her index finger drew hesitant circles along the outline of your dick, and her natural warmth seemed as if it spread from her single finger alone to your very core. You couldn’t help the surprised jolt of your hips as your arousal clouded your mind, leaving you thinking of nothing but chasing after the pleasure shooting through you. You would have mumbled out an apology if you had more wits about yourself at that moment, but you saw nothing but static when she began untying the string that was keeping your trousers up with nothing but her nails.
“Already ready for me, eh?” Karlach pointed out with a coy grin before her eyes cut back to your dick as she freed you for you both to see. “Who’d a thought that you’d be a handful… or a mouthful it looks like,”
A gasp tumbled from your lips at her words, and you had no chance of your breath returning to you when she forcefully grabbed the waistband of your pants and brought them down your hip to expose all of you to the cool air. You shivered, feeling goosebumps flaring across your bare skin, but you were never cold for long when Karlach was around. Her eyes were wide as her mouth parted with her own stunned arousal, and her flames erupted once more, causing her to pull back and breathe calmly to herself.
You swallowed thickly as you watched her snuff out her own flames. The minute of silence did nothing to soften your hard dick, but you weren’t about to interrupt her concentration. You were heavily rewarded for your patience when she returned to your side and asked you to take your trousers all the way off and sit on the very edge of the bed. She gently touched your knees and spread your legs apart just enough to fit her body between them. She was entranced by your length yet again, but this time, she did nothing to fight against the hunger driving her mouth-first onto your cock.
You choked on your own spit at her lack of timidity, but you supposed that everything about Karlach was bold, even down to the way she’d drop to her knees and suck your dick. She was a greedy mix of licking and sucking as she eagerly attempted to bring you to the brink. You could feel her giddy smile on the lips surrounding you.
The warmth encasing you was uniquely Karlach and the wet pull and slide had you leaking pre-cum onto the back of her tongue already. You sighed and freed one arm from behind your head to snake down and gently curl around her intact horn. It was hot to the touch, but nothing you couldn’t withstand. Your thumb rubbed up and down the length of it, and Karlach moaned herself at the rare display of physical touch. You weren’t sure if her horns were sensitive or not, but you continued to gently massage her while also subtly guiding her quicker and quicker.
“Oh gods,” You groaned, your eyes squeezing shut and you had to hold yourself back from immediately spilling into her mouth when you felt laughter bubbling around your dick, and she assisted with that by pulling off with a pop.
“Nah, love,” she winked before placing a quick open-mouthed kiss atop the tip, sending a jolt of electricity through you, “It’s just little ol’ me, Karlach,”
You could see a look of pure concentration on her face as she split her attention between pleasing you and keeping herself neutral in the process. Your heart suddenly swelled in appreciation for the gift she was bestowing you. She was keeping every part of herself off of you aside from her mouth, not wanting to risk any burns marring your flesh. Your palm alone would surely be a bit reddened by the time you let go of her horn, and when you pulled away to inspect, it sure enough was.
Karlach was intent on getting you to cum with nothing but her mouth alone, and who were you to put up any fight? You sought after every trace of pleasure that curled your toes and let it wash over you until there was a building pressure mounting in your gut and had your dick throbbing against her tongue. Your hips began to pump further into her mouth as you danced along the edge, a fire blazing just beneath your skin as sweat broke out on your forehead. There was heat all around you, and just when you thought you would be burnt alive, Karlach shifted her head, and with each suck of your cock, she sank back down with a twist.
You came with a cry as you spilled into her mouth. Karlach lapped it up happily and licked you clean just as your new member disappeared. Her eyes widened with a gasp before a newfound hunger fueled her forward.
Minthara –
Minthara had been staring at you hard over the past few days. You had saved her life and she hadn’t exactly proven grateful for your actions. In fact, she had been sulking over nearly letting herself get killed, and was too unforgiving on herself to be thankful to you. She pushed herself in battle, she took watches over the camp in case there were any Absolutists lurking around, and most of all, she had distanced herself.
You had tried to explain that you care about her and that was why you had saved her, just as you knew she would protect you with her life. She had gruffly brushed it off stating that she should not need protection, that she was your sword and your shield, and while her feral attitude was what initially pulled you closer to her, you couldn’t help but to feel indignant. You had spared her and saved her when you had first met, so you both knew you were capable of handling yourself and lending your own protection as well.
You feared that she viewed herself as weak. Your party would be the first ones to describe how dangerous the adventure had been thus far, and there had been numerous close calls on everyone. But Minthara put herself of higher value over the others, and she refused to acknowledge any weakness in herself. Having you be the one to swoop in and save her must have been the icing on the cake.
As you leaned against the railing overlooking Baldur’s Gate in the hightower lookout of Wyrm’s Crossing, you released a sigh. It was a beautiful sight you would never get tired of, but at the moment, you had a lot on your mind surrounding your favorite drow. And almost as if summoning her yourself, there was a creak of the floorboards behind you, and you knew Minthara wanted you to know she was there.
You felt a magical aura surrounding you before there was an intense tingling sensation in your crotch area. Your brow creased before your mouth fell open in shock when you more-or-less felt yourself enlarging rather than saw it. You grew a dick out of nowhere and before you could even squawk, Minthara pressed her front against your back, her arms circling you before her hands stopped just below the waistband of your underwear. The fast pace that Minthara always set never failed to give you whiplash, and considering the past few days of her brooding, you could hardly keep up with her sudden change of tone.
“What’re-”
“Shh,” Minthara cut you off before moving to standing before you, “I’ve thought things over, and I see that I have failed to properly thank you for keeping me alive.”
“Minthara,” you started with a sigh, “You don’t have to-”
She interrupted you yet again, but this time there were no words. She slowly kneeled before you, her eyes never once leaving yours even as her fingers worked at the knot tightening your pants. She was smirking up at you and even as you towered above her, you somehow still felt like you were the prey in this situation. The hunger in her eyes implied she could eat you alive, and as your dick sprang free and nearly clipped her in the chin, you immediately deduced that she was about to.
“Watch the city, baby, because I’ll have you seeing your own stars in just a moment.”
Minthara was possessive over your body and your pleasure. She took you into her mouth and worshiped every inch as if it belonged to her. And if anyone were to ask you, your dick did belong to Minthara. She licked along a vein running from the base down the length before suckling just the tip into her mouth. She sucked with enough pressure that if you were to guess, you’d say she was attempting to leave her mark as a claim. You felt the not-so-subtle knick of her incisor scratching against you before she soothed any irritation by flattening her tongue and dragging it slowly over the slit.
You had seen the view of Baldur’s Gate thousands of times before. You were more interested in watching Minthara on her knees with your cock outlined in her cheek. She was milking you to ecstasy, and while she usually enjoyed teasing you into oblivion, tonight was a reward for loving her and she would refrain from leaving you a sobbing, wet mess… Though she would stand for some begging on your part.
“Should I let you cum, my love?” Minthara cooed up at you, her neck arching as her right hand came up to stroke you hard and fast.
“Please,” You gasped, your hands digging into the rail as a means to keep yourself upright.
“Where do you want to cum?”
You whimpered and your hips snapped forward against your will. You imagined her hand stroking your dick just before her awaiting tongue and coming in her mouth, painting her throat white with a claiming mark of your own. You imagined Minthara before you, shirtless, and shooting a load on her heaving chest. Your eyes screwed shut as your fantasies ran rampant, so you missed her leaning forward and giving a hard lick over the head before flicking it several quick times with feather-light licks with just the tip of her tongue.
You sputtered as your stomach muscles tightened before your spine arched and you were coming on her tongue. She refused to allow even a drop of you to escape and she had your mess licked clean just as the magic wore off.
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macaronniart · 29 days
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putting astarion's sewing skills to worthwhile use
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nethereasypeasy · 6 months
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Some fluffy head canons I have about the Baldurs Babes
mainly at camp :)
Gale stops tav to lace their boots, sarcastically tutting as he does it.
Karlach holds her hands round someones bowl and cups to warm them if they cool down too much. (Mama K microwave™)
Jaheira and Halsin share nightcaps and chat about the tadpole team. Mainly laughing at their comparative lack of experience - always ends on a 'they're good eggs tho' vibe.
Astarion and Shadowheart rate people's hair to eachother as an injoke, tav hears them mumbling numbers behind them whenever they speak to someone.
Lae'zel asks Gale to explain and pronounce things when no one is around because the 'annoying wizard' won't make fun, he's too eager to teach.
Jaheira has the best bedtime stories but they get Karlach hyped up and she asks a lot of questions till Astarion begs her to be quiet. Wyll takes mental notes for his own storytelling.
Karlach will force a game of 'I Spy' any time there is silence on the road.
Wyll is very good at little random gifts, he just remembers anything someone mentions to him. He's also low-key emotional if you return that kindness, 'you remembered?! 😭'
Halsin stops, kneels and whispers as he points and shows tav interesting plants or animals he spots when walking. 'look there's the mother and her babies' type shit. (He is camp dad(dy) ok)
Wyll teaches Lae'zel fencing. She's too keen though and tries to pin him down. She is not as graceful... But she has fun... chk!
Gale keeps a tiny portrait of Tara on him, you can't tell me modern au Gale's phone wouldn't be full of cat pics.
Astarion watches over the camp at night, he acts like he 'might as well/ I'm the only one lurking in the dark around HERE darlings' but sometimes he secretly gets a little teary looking at his first real friends all together.
Shadowheart writes moody poetry. She would tell Gale but she doesn't care for his taste... Or his possible critiques. If he ever did find her journal though he would be VERY enthused.
Astarion and tav will play with people's wardrobes when looting. Tav loves a funny hat and Astarion will do impressions of who he thinks would wear such god's awful attire.
Gale and Wyll play chess together after dinner some nights. They both say progressively cheesy lines when they take pieces, which is its own game itself at this point.
Halsin would quietly sing or hum to owlbear baby and scratch at night. Little lullabies and he'd probably tuck them in too. OR he'd be big daddy bear and snuggle up, especially when owlbear is scared and misses his mum.
The gang have played 'never have I ever' ONE time and ONE time only. It was a messy night.
... Jaheira was 100% last man standing.
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avenananana · 2 months
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...and especially thank you for reading ^^
Masterlist
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oh-yeah-i-exist · 2 months
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Attending Grand Duke Wyll Ravengard's Inauguration Gala (Part 1 here)
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stellamae642 · 4 months
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bg3 body type headcanons doodle! this game is taking over my life!
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fourraccoonsinacoat · 2 months
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More tweets from these crazy kids. First round. Second round. Third round.
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a03heralding · 6 months
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Bg3 blunt rotation headcanons:
Karlach: does not stop fucking laughing. She’s def wheezing at a joke she overheard in a lesbian bar three and a half years ago while in the middle of a sentence. The type who starts a story and ends up laughing so hard she can’t finish it.
Halsin: mellow as hell, is always encouraging the group to go for a nice walk somewhere while stoned to shit. Will he pass out or will he be caressing the flowers in his backyard? No one knows.
Shadowheart: Sis is asleep after a joint or a few hits from the bong. Is likely sleeping on Lae’zel’s shoulder with a blanket around her. We love her for that tho bc she looks so cute.
Jaheira: she is forreal trying to tell you that we’re all living in someone’s sims save or how aliens made the pyramids. Also always pulls up to the session at the most random times.
Lae’zel: when she does smoke she usually ends up tripping the fuck out and is staring at the wall like a dog that’s accidentally eaten an edible. Doesn’t partake anymore but will come and chill and act as Shart’s personal resting post.
Astarion: the one who is chatting the most shit, probably has the joint in a cigarette holder like curella de’vil. The main source of Karlach’s laughter. Is also constantly asking for Nicki Minaj songs to be added to the Spotify queue.
Wyll: straight up vibes, is probably hogging the snacks to himself tho but he’s busting jokes and laughing with Karlach about stupid shit
Gale: the person in charge of the playlist and the only one who can actually roll. He is very particular about the music bc he believes it sets the mood for the high. Is constantly denying Astarion’s request to play Chun li but puts on random shit like khazakstani jazz
Minthara: enabling Astarion’s shit talking and spilling the piping hot tea. The least faded out of all of them (except lae). Has a screenshot folder that she shows astarion so they can be shady.
Aylin: she’s productive when she’s stoned, is likely cooking something or has gone for a jog/ doing a task while wearing her socks/ Birkenstock combo
Isobel: the mom friend who is making sure everyone is drinking water and is getting fresh air while fried.
Withers: the za dealer. You have to go to his house and he only sells a min of 6gs at a time. Usually chilling and trying to hide his weed plants from the cops bc his neighbours are snitches ngl
Minsc and boo (sry I be forgetting): Brings his hamster to the function bc he doesn't want him to be lonely and believes that his best bud deserves a toke as well. Boo is a literal fucking menace and bites those who object to giving him any. There is literally always an argument bc of this but Minsc is ready to fight for his child.
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cocomochicakes · 5 months
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I hope every single one of my mutuals knows that I am an absolute emotional whore for every single one of the companions.
Astarion? Baby boy I know you got trauma so let me love you and help you find your bodily autonomy again and let's find your new normal to help you heal and rebuild your identity a new.
Gale? Hey there handsome you're more than just the sum of what a quack goddess says you are and you're wonderful with or without magic and there's no need to impress with displays of power...just be the best version of a man you can be, not a god.
Shadowheart? Girly pop you deserve to know you have the power to change the future and you are not the summation of the people who used and abused you and you deserve to know what a choice to love is.
Karlach? Sweet woman you are alive to dance and frolick in the grass and your wild spirit and happiness can never again be shackled by a devil so let's dance together in the sun hand in hand.
Wyll? Babydoll, you did what you thought was best to save others and made a sacrifice no one else would ever make and now that you have yourself back, know you're more than just a title, you are loved for the summation of the scars inside and out.
Lae'zel? Babygirl, you were lied to and used by someone you thought had your best interest so know you can trust again and that love isn't a weakness for a warrior, but instead gives a warrior purpose when they fight?
Halsin? Love, know you don't always have to reign in your anger and emotions to be the perfect leader and you like the rest of us are fallible and make mistakes so know that when the dust clears, you can be loved for for every aspect of yourself, even the parts you see as bad and it doesn't always have to be physical.
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justporo · 2 months
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Randomly asked myself what Astarion's love languages would be, as in receiving.
Words of affirmation: On the outside it might feel like this is merely a game, shallow praise and such, but he dies for genuine compliments. No one can tell me he wouldn't actually drop to his knees if Tav called him a "good boy" - only it's contradicting his image, so he reserves the big goofy genuine smiles for when you are private. But be sure that he would give you the absolute wettest eyes if you tell him how smart and wonderful he is.
Acts of service: I mean you went with him to kill his master. Of course he'd enjoy you doing things for him, he's a bit of a princess of course. But I feel like this one is not as big for him, because maybe he'd like to be more independent now that he is able to. Not that he would say no if you were to offer doing him a favour of any kind.
Receiving gifts: He loves being spoiled. He had nothing but the often stitched up shirt on his back for so long. So just about every little thing you might gift him would mean the world to him - which also might mean that your place is getting a little cluttered. But who really cares if you see how happy it makes him?
Physical touch: This I feel like is the biggest one for Astarion. Sometimes it's hard of course, because sometimes trauma has a way to come back to haunt him. But he's desperate to work through it because nothing feels quite as good as being as close as possible to you. To feel your fingers softly detangle his curls, your legs all wrapped around him as he lays between your legs, face buried at your warm chest where he feels your warmth seep into his body and your smell surrounds him - and he found his personal heaven.
Quality time: This is a big one because that is something he didn't ever get to enjoy properly before. Astarion could waste away centuries with you just cuddled up with you, or just sharing a space in companionable silence as you each do stuff. Maybe you're reading while he's doing soke embroidery. The silence isn't heavy and you keep throwing each other loving glances across the room.
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bongwaterbunny · 5 days
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btw gale loses all composure when hes horny. can't even make out the words "please" or "thank you", he just starts to dote on you and, when he's particularly needy, he'll grind up against you and paw at your clothes until you get the hint. he told me himself.
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theladyismyshepard · 4 months
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Stamp of Approval
(The party's most favored memory of your journey)
A little note on Wyll's piece: My original playthrough I invaded the Iron Throne Prison INSTEAD of attending the ceremony that Gorthash invites the party to, so if it doesn't make sense, I'm going off the logic of what I encountered with doing that
Shadowheart –
The growth in relationship between you and Shadowheart was a slow, methodical journey on your part. The curiosity would burn right below your skin, a need to reach out and seek for more. She wasn’t much of an open book, preferring to keep her secrets to heart, and you knew with just the wrong amount of prodding, it would push her further away, an irreparable rift severed between the two of you. It didn’t take much consideration to give her the space she wordlessly demanded, just a lot of willpower.
You ignored Lae’zel’s mocking comments comparing you to a “lovesick pup waiting hand and foot” when you made every effort to appease Shadowheart’s interests. It was always worth it to watch her face light up with inspiration when you took every measure to serve upon the Gods or learn of their works. Shadowheart absorbed the knowledge you ascertained and allowed it to fuel her guidance upon herself and the rest of the party. You try to reason with yourself that you would put in as much effort for everyone as you do for Shadowheart, but you also can’t deny that none of the others can cause a pool of heat to warm your very core with nothing but a polite smile.
She knew how to draw you in, she did so with no effort on her part when you encountered her bound form trapped inside a pod on the nautiloid. You weren’t exactly sure what she found so intriguing in you. You initially considered your unlikely title of “hero”, but you noticed she only had so much patience and approval with your habit of putting literally everyone ahead of yourself (and the cure) before deeming it too self-destructive.
However, it was glaringly obvious she would never disapprove of you taking on the responsibility of caring for the strays that crossed your path. Astarion and Lae’zel had a begrudging resignation for being slowly outnumbered by animal life, whereas Shadowheart and Karlach had an aura of child-like glee about themselves. You would never forget the first morning you had awoken in camp after you had first spotted Scratch circling the dead body of his former master and felt the overwhelming need to accept him as your own. He looked so jolly, as if there was nothing at all wrong in the world so long as you were by his side, and you couldn’t help but to unleash all of your love and affection onto him. Your attention was so absorbed, that you almost missed the small smile gracing Shadowheart’s lips along with the subtle crinkle around her eyes as she watched you. It was a look of raw approval which she smoothed out once she noticed your attention was on her.
As you scouted and looted throughout your travels, you came across a tattered stuffed bear one day. It was an impulsive decision to stop and store it away in your bag, a fleeting thought of Shadowheart was what prompted it. You weren’t aware of every bit of information that she could provide, but you did know that the huge gaps in her memory offered both a blessing and a curse. She wasn’t granted the best of childhoods, and you couldn’t help the thought of a young Shadowheart, alone and without the comfort of even a stuffed companion. The rush of adrenaline that came with the sudden need to give it to her, to watch the happiness brighten every corner of her face had you bouncing on each step back to camp.
You entailed the assistance of a couple members of the party: Karlach and Astarion. The vampire offered a delicate hand that was skilled in the craft of sewing to gently pull the stuffed bear back together. After you carefully handwashed the toy in the river that you camped near, Karlach took her duty very seriously. You couldn’t help the smile as her tongue poked out the side of her mouth in concentration as she balanced her heat accordingly to dry the toy of excess water without setting it ablaze.
That was some time ago, and as you gazed down at the well-used stuffed bear, you felt a bit foolish for the timing. The party’s mounting problems had a snowball effect, and once one situation ended, another began in its place. You stood outside of Shadowheart’s tent, where you had been for the past few minutes contemplating if you should grant her the space she required when processing things. You had just convinced her to let go of her parents, to end the struggle and curse binding the entire family to Shar. It was like poison coating your tongue, knowing how hard the road was getting to the House of Grief and everything that Shadowheart had given up for that exact moment, but it felt so wrong to go against the desperate pleas of her parents, begging you to end Shar’s torment for them all because they knew their daughter had not the strength for it.
“Did you want something? If not, I’m perfectly happy to just gaze upon you a while.” The greeting caught you off-guard and as you looked upon her false bravado, down to the pain swirling just below the surface, you could feel yourself start to break in guilt. You threw your arms around her, the stuffed bear squashed between your bodies, and apologized thickly.
“It was the right thing to do… even if I can’t bring myself to believe it just yet– oh… what is this?”
“I wasn’t sure if you had anything of comfort when you really needed it back then, so I wanted to make sure you had something now… It was cute, so naturally it reminded me of you,”
There was a newfound softness to her eyes as they darted all across your face, taking in the embarrassed red flare on your cheeks to the subtle sheen of sweat collecting atop your brow. As you attempted to joke and smile off the sentiment, her hands cupped the back of your neck as easily as if she had done so all her life, and pulled you down into a passionate kiss marred only by her building grin.
“I love it… I love you,” You were filled to the brim with warmth every time you looked over during your many months of traveling when it was all said and done and would spot the stuffed bear tucked into her own travel bag, refusing to leave it behind anywhere.
Karlach –
Your romance with Karlach roared to life fairly quickly, but that was to be expected with someone like her. When you’re living on borrowed time, and death was always a step away to collect it back, everything burned brighter, as did the relationship between you two. You could hardly remember a time when you had been led to believe her to be this devil reigning chaos everywhere she went. For she was the most adorable woman you had ever met, and her bubbly personality had you instantly head over heels.
You found Karlach easily inspired as you traveled and explored new areas of Faerun. The look of awe on her face made the whole situation feel as though it were nothing more than an adventure, a quest to ensure Karlach had seen it all and done it all. There was always a bittersweet ache lodged in your chest when you were granted the sight of sparkles in her eyes. Even more so when she thanked you for it… as if you shouldn’t be on your knees thanking her for her very existence.
After Dammon had informed the two of you of the severity of Karlach’s condition, you didn’t even dare approach the topic of her returning to Avernus. It was unthinkable to push her back into her worst nightmare that she fought tooth and nail to crawl her way out of. You pull yourself together because no matter how much it broke your own heart, no one was more cheated here than Karlach herself, and you had to be strong enough to soothe her pain, not the other way around (even though you knew her to be so selfless that she would). You keep her close when you all travel, making sure some part of you is always touching some part of her at all times, and you know she greatly approves of the physical contact when she randomly grins down at you from time to time.
Weeks worth of whispered words and frantic touches had your personal goals shifting. When you had first awoken on the nautiloid, you cared for little else aside from curing yourself of the tadpole taking shelter behind your eye, but as you heard more of Karlach’s life, you grew scornful of Zariel and Gortash. The purest of souls was the grandest treasure to the devil indeed, but Karlach was a Goddess that rose above while you yourself were falling. She didn’t even need to ask if you would help avenge her– that was a given. Your journey had taken you this way and that, pitting you against foe of every kind… You could handle descending into the Hells and waging wars on devils.
Because you already did… summoning the portal in the House of Hope led you directly to Raphael’s home in the Hells, and it revealed so much to you– the Orphic Hammer that aided in your quest to free Orpheus, the poor, demented soul of Hope, who guided you the whole way, and the glaring fact that Karlach felt the most at ease that you’ve ever seen her to be. Her breathing was easier, her movements weren’t jerky or rigid with pain so she wasn’t bouncing around to loosen herself up as she constantly did in the mortal realm. You could almost get used to the sight… almost. You also tried to ignore the fluidity of her being, seeing as you knew it to be short-lived, but as you noticed Karlach’s immediate attachment to Hope, you couldn’t stop the onslaught of design.
You bit your tongue after Raphael fell and after Hope thanked you tremendously with the promise of bringing sanctuary to her former prison. Once the party returned to Baldurs Gate, Karlach’s grunt of pain was immediate as were the flames dancing along her flesh. There was a single bead of sweat dripping down her temple that your eyes followed along with until they snapped to her pained smile. She tried so hard to comfort you despite her own agony, and you were starting to think it was because she didn’t know how to accept comfort enough to let you try and do the same. As you lean forward and carefully kiss the ragged breath from her lungs, you continue to bite your tongue.
You could not bite your tongue when she (in Karlach fashion) offered to take on the Astral Tadpole to gain the full Mind Flayer potential. She reasoned it would be an edge on the battlefield that they couldn’t pass up and went even further as to say that her time was running out anyway… She had not a selfish bone in her body, and that was why you found a selfish backbone for her. Karlach was made up entirely of soul and willpower, and you refused to allow her to give up what absolute little she had left. You would sooner die than let that happen, and while you would agree with anyone claiming your soul was to be damned to the Hells, you happily pushed the weight of the Astral Tadpole in Orpheus’ direction. Karlach was quiet on and off the battlefield following your call, and it was gnawing at you, knowing that it was bothering her.
“Copper for your thoughts, darling?” She can’t help but smile at her own words played back to her, and didn’t protest when you sat down next to her outside her tent.
“I just… It doesn’t make sense to me. My life is pretty much moot at this point, it’s just a matter of when. I could’ve had one last hurrah, yeah? A fighter till the end,”
“At the cost of your soul, Karlach? It was my decision in the end, if anyone is to be plagued with guilt it should be me, but I think you should know that I don’t regret it,”
“But why!” exclaimed Karlach in exasperation, her eyes misting over in a mixture of irritation and sorrow, “I’m dying anyway, soldier, there was no other option than-”
“Than changing your whole being?” You challenge, moving to where you were practically in her lap. “We’ve already sacrificed and fought for so much, Karlach, it’s time you get to rest, baby, and call me selfish, but all I want to do is rid ourselves of this parasite, and find a way to live a happy life with you.”
You could see the calm look on her face and immediately knew she was about to dive into a spiel about her impending death with as little condescension as possible, and you beat her to it, deciding that you no longer would bite your tongue, “Let’s both go back to the House of Hope… return to the sanctuary that Hope was creating out of Raphael’s old mansion, and until a more permanent solution for your engine is found, we’ll be happy because we have each other… right?”
Karlach blinked as her mouth opened and closed a few times, a perfect imitation of a goldfish as she processed what you just proposed. Her brow furrowed before relaxing before furrowing again. She held her pointer finger at the ready for an announcement that died on her lips, her finger drooping. You took mercy on her before looping your arms around her neck and bringing your lips together in a kiss to seal it. Karlach was beginning to lose hope as the days dwindled, you had seen the weight of resignation set heavily upon her shoulders as they began to sag. Now… you felt a newfound strength in resolve building within the muscles twitching beneath your hands, and it excited you. You knew your words had inspired her to live more than the bluest of oceans, the greenest of grasses, the freshest of airs. She wanted a life, no matter where it was, so long as you were at her side.
Minthara –
Your initial response to Minthara was that she was incredibly deluded by the will of this “Absolute”. She seemed so dedicated to this cause, and ready to dominate and bend the will of those who didn’t, and you would be lying if you said it didn’t send a shiver down your spine. She regarded you carefully, eyes trailing up and down your body and you could see your resulting quiver was passed through the connection of the True Soul if the darkening of her eyes were anything to go by. You felt as though you were trekking on ice and you could never properly find your footing when you were around her.
Her eyes followed your movements anytime you wandered around camp, whether it be to make small talk with your other companions or to put your mind at ease. Minthara was bold with her calculations and made no move to hide her intrigue. Any time you would look over and meet her eyes, it was always you who looked away first, your body rigid underneath the weight of her lingering gaze and mind scattered as you attempted to find your place in conversation once more. Astarion merely arches a brow in response, and you didn’t like this… this spell she had cast on you. You liked to think that you were tactful with your solution– by insisting she stay in camp while you and a few of the others scouted the area, covering as much ground as it took for nightfall to cast a dark blanket that you hoped Minthara would be nestled in, falling fast asleep by the time the party arrived back. After a while, you aren’t really surprised anymore when you see her lounged comfortably by the campfire, wine goblet in hand as if awaiting your arrival.
“Ah, the mighty hero returns from yet another quest… I have been awaiting your arrival,” You held a deep-seeded exhaustion, one that seeped down into your very bones, and you found yourself in no mood to either entertain her devious scheming or withstand the glowering disapproval if you found yourselves at a disagreement. “Come, sit before me,” It wasn’t a request so much as it was a demand, and despite yourself, you approached Minthara, standing before her and arching your brow in question. She rolled her eyes so hard you were almost afraid they would fall free from her head before her hand reached out and pulled you down to your knees. Despite your squawking and huffing, she twisted your form until you were sitting facing the fire with her body dangerously close to your back. Your eyes repeatedly glanced down at her legs that were resting on either side of you, surrounding you, and you were so absorbed in your staring that you flinched when you felt her strong fingers begin working at the knots twisting the muscles of your shoulders.
“What’re-”
“Relax…” her voice was sultry in your ear before you felt her hot breath against the back of your neck, “You harbor a lot of weight here… Your back must be incredibly sore from carrying the fate of this world.”
Your eyes flutter closed on their own accord and you couldn’t help the sigh that escaped your lips, and when you felt her smirk hiding in your hair, you knew you were falling right into a trap of some sort. Her purposeful hands wandered lower as she massaged little circles into her back, forcing you to straighten up, and once you did, her arms surrounded you before pulling you flush against her front. Your head fell back against her shoulder, and your obscured vision robbed you the sight of Minthara’s wicked smile as her eyes hungrily grazed down your body. Her hands recommenced their movements on your hips, and she smiled genuinely when she felt your muscles quivering at her slight touch.
Her hands found purchase in both of your pockets and as your brow furrowed, her teeth were latching onto your shoulder, leaving indentations that were shallow enough to disappear within the next few hours, and she soothed it by flattening her tongue and licking over the bite mark. Her skillful hands worked at the muscles of your thighs through your trousers, and you were soon melting, becoming putty in her palms. Minthara occasionally pressed kisses into your hair and it wasn’t long before your breathing was shallowing out.
“Some of us care little for this display,” drawled Shadowheart from her tent, her face scrunched in a grimace before she returned to her prayer.
“And some of us are enjoying it,” countered Astarion, his eyes flashing wickedly before a glare from Minthara had him raising his hands in a conceding gesture.
“Shall we take this to my tent? Lay you out in a way you might be more comfortable?” The request was hushed, though you two left little to no doubt of your intentions when you scrambled (she strode gracefully) to reach her one bedroll.
Throughout the hours of the night leading to first daylight, the scene shifted from her on top of you to you on top of her and it continued until you found yourself falling fast asleep with her still inside of you. Minthara managed to lull you into a sleep so deep that you didn’t even wake to her digging through the pockets of your discarded trousers before clutching at the jar containing the collection of illithid tadpoles you had discovered along your journey. She considered accepting them all for herself without even a thought spared to you. The unimaginable power, an unrivaled throne atop a whole world ready to serve her.
You mumbled something in your sleep, your eyes never opening yet your arms were out searching and you captured Minthara around her waist before pulling her in and curling around her unbalanced form. One arm was propping her up and the other grasped at your hand around her. She stared unblinkingly at your face for an entire minute as something shifted within her. You had the opportunity to expunge her existence from this plane just as you did with Priestess Gut and Dror Ragzlin, but you spared her. A foolish notion that Minthara herself would never have made if roles were reversed, but as she stared down at your peaceful face, the opportunity to strike glaringly obvious, she found that she wasn’t looking forward to the impending loneliness that was sure to follow your death.
Her goal of power and blood was still at the forefront, but she was picturing enough room that included you as well. And if you had any qualms about taking the Netherbrain’s influence for you two’s personal gain? Well… she had ways of persuading you.
Wyll –
Wyll was a knight in shining armor from your very first impression of him outside of the Grove, ready to lay down his life to defend the innocents trapped within. It didn’t take you long to deduce that he would die happily so long as he played the part of the folk hero. You acted hypocritical anytime you found yourself questioning his heroics and if it all was really worth it. You had your own role in saving the world that was forced upon you, and you understood the call to help when the lost and the damned begged you so brokenly.
Consider yourself surprised when you learned of this angelic man’s pact with a devil named Mizora. There was shame shrouding him after he broke his word to track down Karlach and drive a battle ax straight through the fire she called a heart once he learned that Karlach was a victim herself. His horns were forever a reminder of his dealings with a devil, and while he appeared to hate no one but himself, you felt no traces of regret through your connection. It was a choice he would make every time for Baldurs Gate and his father’s people. Even if that caused the very rift between him and his father.
Wyll was so considerate of a man that he understood the disapproval completely and accepted the banishment with no argument. He took on the persona of the Blade of the Frontiers in hopes of righting his hellish deed tenfold. If he were to die honorably in battle protecting those who couldn’t fight for themselves, then so be it. It wasn’t likely to save his soul in the end, not when it was tethered to a pact in the Hells. Wyll would tell you this to be his biggest fear after you had accepted his beautiful request to dance and you two spun all night long. It was a hollow fact to him, and you swore to yourself in the heat of that night that you would do whatever it took to free Wyll of his pact with Mizora.
As your relationship blossomed, you couldn’t help but to wonder if he dabbled in the ways of the Bard. His words held a melodic tune that sometimes left you entranced by the vibration of it rather than the actual words he was speaking. You would always remember the bashful look he wore one night when he approached you with a piece of parchment trembling the slightest in his hand, his eyes both seeking yours and then averting when he found them. Wyll cleared his throat and after rambling a bit until your fond laughter had him shaking his head, he began to recite poetry that you weren’t familiar with. Your smile softened as he pressed on, but then it slipped away as your mouth parted slightly with a heavy exhale once you realized it was about you.
His words spoke of your devotion, of your wits, of your beauty, and you found yourself melting at the fact that no one had ever written you a poem before, and yet this warlock, who used to be more eloquent when he was crafting spells than he was when he was flirting had found inspiration from you. You inspired a man who inspired so many people with his endless supply of positivity, and you wondered what exactly made you so lucky as to find yourself in an epic romance with Wyll Ravenguard, the man who could hardly be shaken, even while looking into the face of evil and terror.
You felt his jittery need to rush the underwater prison that Gortash had set to blow in search of his imprisoned and infected father. You nodded to Karlach and she was soon dropping from the opening rather than using the grimy ladder. With her warhammer cocked over her shoulder and at the ready, she went to work on clearing out the sahuagin that stood guard. Once she was out of sight, leaving behind a bloody trail, you handed Lae’zel every Arrow of Transposition you purchased and hoped her Misty Step would carry her the rest of the way after ordering her down the east corridor in search of prisoners. Wyll was nearly seething by the time you turned to him and before the command could even leave your mouth, he was already charging, the Dimension Door spell already crackling to life at his fingertips.
Time was ticking and for each enemy that was cut down, about five more appeared from the murky depths. You could hear the slapping of shoes against wet stone as everyone who was released made a frantic dash towards the exit. You couldn’t bring yourself to look back when you heard a woman who was intercepted by one of the monsters. Try as you might, the following ripping sound and resulting gurgle would haunt your dreams to come. It was an incredible gamble to invade the Iron Throne Prison, and once Gortash gave the final call, you knew that it was damn near impossible to save everyone. The sinking reality set in as you passed body after body while retracing your steps back to the exit hatch. Wyll frowned so deeply that it was bringing lines to his forehead. It was going against everything the Blade of the Frontiers stood for, this act of selfish grandeur to ensure his father’s life over all else.
The rotten taste of unfairness bit like acid on the back of Wyll’s tongue, and at this point, he shouldn’t be as shocked as he was to find out that his father wasn’t being held in the prison like he was led to believe by Mizora… Whatever possessed you to take her for her word was beyond you, and you had just about enough with that devil and her trickery. As the submarine filled with what Gondian survivors were remaining departed from the explosion, you couldn’t help but to ponder the comparisons between Mizora and Raphael to determine if you could handle a battle against her.
It seemed fitting that you found the Duke at Gortash’s side in Wyrm’s Rock Fortress during the final showdown with Bane’s Chosen. It was a ruthless fight, and while you tried several tactics to break the influence controlling the Duke, his curse proved unshakable and his strength was consuming you. It was only a matter of time before his sword was destined to cut you down, and as you craned your neck to give Wyll one last exhausted, resigned smile as you made the decision to put the Duke’s life before your own, Wyll found himself charging with a roar that sounded an awful lot like “NO!”
His own blade pierced the final blow that brought the Duke to his knees, blinking away the influence that muddled his mind. He sputtered as he looked from the hilt protruding from his chest to his son, who stood over him with a look of horrific realization. As he began swaying dangerously close to the point of toppling over, Wyll dropped to his side to cradle his father close, mindful of the blade. He sobbed and hiccuped past his rushed apologies, but his father blinked past the pain to acknowledge his son.
“There is more to this world than just gods and devils, my boy, and you are neither. I’m…”
The gargled whisper would remain unfinished forever, and it broke Wyll to pieces as he clutched at his father’s lifeless body. He sobbed even as Karlach delivered the final smiting blow to Gortash’s feeble body, and wasn’t even paying attention when she chopped off his hand for the tribunal to Bhaal. You awkwardly hovered above Wyll, unsure if he would even accept your presence after he killed his own father to save you, but you had a secret trick up your sleeve, one that you had been saving for just the right time, and one that you could only call upon once in your lifetime. Wyll was willing to make a great sacrifice for your life, it was only fair you did the same for his happiness.
“My love,” You whisper gently and only continue when his tear-streaked face looked up at you, “If you’d allow me, I would like to call upon Selune’s Opulent Revival and save your father.”
Wyll’s eyes widened as he felt a surge of hope warm his veins. He glanced between both of your eyes, searching for something that you weren’t entirely sure of before he was rearranging his father’s body. He couldn’t help his whimpered gag as he tore the blade free from his father’s chest to prevent complications. With the Duke lying flat against the ground, you got to your own knees, ready to summon your prayer that would call upon Selune’s power to revive and restore health. Wyll grabbed ahold of your hand before you could rest it against the Duke’s chest. He raised your wrist and pressed the most reverent of kisses to your palm before dropping another to the inside of your wrist. When you caught his eyes again, there was no hiding the adoration he had for you in this very moment.
Once the moment passed, you placed your hand over the still heart within the Duke’s chest, and dared not remove it until your lips paused at the end of your prayer, and there was a fluttering against the same palm that could still feel the press of Wyll’s lips.
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orangechickenpillow · 5 months
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I need more content of the bg3 companions cuddling, okay here's my pitch:
Everyone piling on top of Karlach and falling asleep (a classic)
a group hug with Wyll smushed in the center
Gale hooking his arms Shadowheart and Lae'zel's shoulders because he lacks a healthy fear of death and/or bodily harm
Karlach holding Astarion like a teddy bear while Shadowheart is asleep in her lap like a cat
Gale, once again with no regard for his own personal safety, somehow ending up with Astarion sitting in front of him like they're sledding so he can lecture him show him the best parts of his book
Wyll gets curious about what they're reading and joins in, then Karlach notices, then suddenly the whole camp including Withers is piled around them for Bedtime Stories With Gale
Karlach seeing if she can pick up and carry everyone all at once, which requires all of them to hang onto someone and help each other out (which they do once they've determined they're actually going to attempt this, no bullshit)
This ends in lots of yelling and, shockingly, no one losing an eye. Lae'zel threatens to murder Gale for picking her up, Astarion claims he wouldn't touch her with a six-foot pole while hanging off of Karlach's bicep, his legs wrapped around Shadowheart, who is holding onto Karlach like a baby koala. Meanwhile Wyll is trying to climb past Gale without getting in the Lae'zel Line of Fire or snapping Karlach's neck, who is unbothered and yelling for Withers to come join them or it won't count (he Does Not)
Shadowheart, Lae'zel, and Astarion huddling in their Gossip Corner to talk shit. Shadowheart ends up draped over Astarion's lap while he re-braids her hair and Lae'zel is sitting behind them on a log or something with her elbow propped on Astarion's shoulder, making occasional comments about how poor of a job he's doing
Wyll and Karlach using each other as weighted blankets. Gale wants in the moment he finds out about it. Then Astarion discovers what they've been up to. Then Shadowheart. Are you seeing the trend. They literally cant function as individuals anymore. They have to rotate around like gas station hot dogs
Speaking of dogs, Scratch joins the Karlach Cuddle Pile some nights to keep warm. And the owlbear, who always singles a certain vampire out. Astarion likes it complains very loudly about it
Scratch is Karlach’s bestie and usually ends up sleeping directly on her face. They're all sure they're going to find her dead like that one morning
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lavendarr00 · 3 months
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Astarion with glasses 🤓
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soldat-buck · 10 days
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i had a vision while making coffee this morning
bg3 culinary headcanons: Companion Edition
- Shadowheart: absolute zero regard for contamination while cooking. kitchen habits of a permanent bachelor. licks the tasting spoon clean and keeps using it to cook. eats hot cocoa straight out of the container with a spoon. thinks pouring ranch over an entire head of lettuce and eating it like feral animal while holding it over the kitchen sink counts as "salad". if you can get past the contamination thing, the food she makes actually tastes pretty good, even if it's sometimes odd (she cooks like a stoner, despite being perfectly sober. she is just Like That).
- Astarion: perfectly capable of cooking, and actually can cook quite well. food may not taste the same after becoming a vampire, but his enhanced sense of smell tells him nearly everything he needs to know about how to season and cook food properly. he doesn't cook because he doesn't like to (washing dishes? by hand? no fucking thank you, being undead is harsh enough on the nails and skin. finding a good lotion for normal undead dryness is already impossible)
- Lae'zel: in the modern world, if her life took her in a chef direction, she'd be in a Michelin star restaurant as the world's best and most terrifying sous chef. she absolutely would throw a knife at you for fucking up her plating (she'd intentionally miss. the first time). no nonsense is ever tolerated in her kitchen, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's got temper issues (her coldness and lack of tantrums is what makes her terrifying). she'd put Gordon Ramsay in his place for his rage theatrics and then make him weep with joy after serving him the most competent omelet he's ever had in his life. if she likes you, you may address her as "Yes, Chef!" outside of the kitchen.
- Karlach: uses 4 pots to make ramen. not because she's doing anything fancy or elaborate with it, the first pot was too small and started boiling over (whoops). the second one was, oh hold on, that's a cast iron pan, maybe you're not supposed to use that for boiling liquids, huh? wait shit, can't use this one either, i'm not supposed to use metal spoons on nonstick, don't want to scratch it. There we go! this one is the right size! and if i scratch this one, it's fine! wait, where the fuck did the flavor packet go (you should definitely be concerned about leaving her alone for the weekend)
- Wyll: very resourceful cook due to his Blade of the Frontier days. can improvise a meal out of damn near anything. can identify every edible plant and mushroom and tell you how to use it in a dish. would carry an herb garden in his adventure pack if he could. would absolutely thrive on the show Chopped (he's actually banned from auditioning again because it's not fair to the other competitors to have him on). he could make you a dessert featuring rattlesnake and fresh picked clover, and you don't know how or why, but you actually like it
- Gale: approaches the kitchen the same way he approaches most things in his life - academically. knows the proper safe temperature to cook meats/etc to, knows how to brown an onion, knows what seasonings are typically used together for certain flavor profiles and how to match seasonings to proteins. knife work sucks because he uses mage hand for mise en place and his mage hand has shitty DEX, but he's scared of his chef knife from the one time he sliced his thumb open (he was cutting an onion with improper hand placement and the knife slipped)
- Minsc: would exclusively eat by dumpster diving if it weren't for Boo's disapproval. eats like a human garbage disposal. he will eat a n y t h i n g that fits in his mouth, he is the least picky eater you will ever meet. does not understand how food challenges in the show Fear Factor are supposed to be challenges
- Halsin: world class forager. very competent hunter. prefers to eat everything as raw as possible. understands but doesn't believe in strict food safety because obviously stomach acid kills germs (and anyway, a little dirt here and there never killed anyone; exposure to germs is good for your immune system). open-mouthed kissing him is gambling with your health. makes the best vegetarian salads but do not trust any chicken he has "cooked". people with weak CON might want to consider avoiding his food
- Jaheira: uses Talk to Animals to Cinderella/Ratatouille rodents in the kitchen. she commands them like she's in perilous battle and the entire world is at stake (also rodents are worse to direct than cats, they do not know the difference between left and right. there's a lot of "No! Not that cupboard, the other one! NO, the OTHER other one! Flank him, he's off balance!"). making a cup of tea is a convoluted, stressful process that takes 10 times longer than just boiling the damn water yourself
if you want more bg3 culinary headcanons, there's also: the Absolute Edition
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serpenlupus · 2 months
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About Wyll and his horns
Let's say I was writing a part of my Tav's story with Wyll directly connected to the dialogue he has during the tiefling party, and while struggling with this bit, I've realized there's quite a few misconceptions floating around. I felt compelled to add information to the table that might clear them, so here we go.
First, what exactly happens to Wyll when he disobeys Mizora in act one? Well, he doesn't get turned into a devil, he certainly doesn't get turned into a tiefling, he's not a half fiend, not a demon, none of that. Wyll stays human, but he has horns and red eyes (and other features we can't see on his model as of now).
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(Everyone has their race listed, Wyll's remains "Human")
This is because when a warlock fails to uphold some part of their contract they can suffer a certain number of consequences, Wylls is “The character grows horns, a tail, or some other devilish features that can't be removed by any means short of divine intervention. As long as these marks persist the character detects as a fiend when subjected to Detect Evil and Good spells or similar magic.” ( from Baldur's Gate: Descent into Avernus, page 214)
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And I’ve come across some people that think it wasn’t so bad of a punishment, that he was being racist towards the tieflings, or just not being justified in being upset after having his body forcibly changed against his will. I think they are missunderstanding just how insidious Mizora’s actions were, and here I just want to give some context to maybe bring a better understanding to the situation. Your conclusions are up to you.
Gonna start by using a not exact analogy, but I think it’s going to make the explanation easier. Stick with me for a minute.
Remember Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean? He had a branded “P” on his arm that marked him as a pirate. A murderer, robber, criminal, etc. in the eyes of the society he was a part of. What did Jack do to earn the branding? (if you don’t know this I suggest you look up the “people aren’t cargo mate” scene) He refused to transport slaves and later freed them, and Beckett had him marked as punishment.
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Then, in the first movie, he saves Elizabeth, a woman he didn’t know, from drowning. Right after however, when Norrington sees he has a branded “P”, he’s like “alright, off to jail with you, and then hanging”, no other option crosses his mind. Again, Jack doesn’t know Elizabeth, isn’t indicated to think he is going to be rewarded for helping her, he just sees a drowning person, sees that no one else is going to help, and chooses to save them. That is a pretty selfless/good aligned thing to do, for no other reason that he was the one able to do it, yet the branding in his arm overrides any good action he could ever do, marking him as a criminal for execution and no further thought.
In a way, that’s what Mizora did to Wyll; she forever visibly branded him as someone that has made deals with devils, and that in the world of DnD is a VERY BAD THING. Personally I really like the mod that gives him more devilish features, but at the same time I think there was something clever about choosing to leave him looking more human. He can’t be confused with a tiefling, he doesn’t have the ears, the claws, the tail, all those features that characterize them. He looks kind of uncanny, and that would be like a red flag for anyone in that world. (Beyond the already existing hate for tieflings that I’m not gonna tackle on here because it’s a complicated thing that deserves its own post). And Wyll wants to do good, he wants to help people, to be a positive force in the world so, so badly. This dude got abducted by a nautiloid, got tadpole’d, and the first thing he did right after that was come across the Tiefling refugees and be like “Oh you need help? No worries let me teach you self defense. Oh you being attacked by goblins? Let me blast them real quick”. His way of saying fuck you to all the awful things that have happened to him is being aggressively good and kind. Mizora knows this very well, wants to see him suffer for her amusement, wants to remind him he can't escape her claws, so her choice of punishment was to forever taint his future interactions with mistrust and suspicion. Some people can go real fast from “oh thank God they saved me” to “oh no, are they gonna rob me, are they trying to trick me, are they in cahoots with the ones that attacked me first?” just because of outward appearances. Especially in DnD world. And that deserves its own conversation, but we're focusing on Wyll here.
(Mizora, when I catch you Mizora)
“Well, maybe he shouldn’t have made a deal in the first plac- - “ He was seventeen, alone, preyed upon by Mizora and put in an impossible situation. Please PAY ATTENTION to the story you’re witnesing.
Anyway.
About the tieflings. I know it’s easy to think his words can be derisive towards them, but it’s less about the horns and more about his body being changed against his will. Imagine instead that he got half his face burned, or something that disfigured him. I think his feelings at the moment were closer to that, and yeah they are pretty insensitive words to say to someone with a similar condition (horns or disfiguration), but when feelings are fresh and raw like that it’s easy to say insensitive things. Not saying it was ok for him to say those things, but ther was no malice in his words. I’ve also seen some people share that they think Mizora wanted to change him more to make him unrecognizable to his original self, the Wyll Ravenguard kid, and I think there is some truth to that too. She wants to make sure that Wyll remembers that he belongs to her, there's no question to that.
(MIZORA, WHEN I CATCH YOU MIZORA)
Whether the Tieflings refugees would feel unsettled by Wyll or not? Yes. In a way, they would. From reasons aside from the ones I explained above, remember that these specific tieflings come from Elturel. If you didn’t pass the History check or don’t remember, Elturel is a city that was literally ripped from the land and dragged to Avernus, First layer of hell (it left a hole on the ground and everything) because their mayor made a deal with the Archdevil Zariel some decades back in the timeline. He sold the souls of all its citizens and the city itself.
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This was probably one of the worst times of their lives. Some even got captured and forced to participate in the blood War, like Dammon as a mechanic. And after Elturel got returned to the surface, the tieflings lost their homes because they reminded the other citizens of the literal Hell they’d just gone through, and they kicked them out. And remember, they met and saw Wyll as a human, and then saw him with horns. It’s not unreasonable to think that by looking at him they would be reminded of all the events that led them to the awful situation they’re in. Because of someone that was making deals with devils, just like Wyll. Even if his situation is completely different. And Wyll knows that, that’s why he tells you the tieflings are unsettled by him and chooses to stay away during the party.
It was never just about the horns.
And I know Wyll calls himself a devil but I think it’s because it’s the closest thing he looks as; devils are a whole different race with their own intricacies, although humans can be turned into devils ONCE their souls go to Avernus and they start climbing the power hierarchy there (Mizora and Raphael are cambions/ half-devils btw, which is a different thing,  there are plenty of videos exploring those details more in depth).
Do I think Larian should have made some of this information clearer/easier to access? Maybe? but to be fair, it's a game focused and dedicated to a crowd that was already somewhat familiar with the source material, that blew up waay out of what they originally expected to reach. Hopefully they’ll add some clarifications like they did to other quests. 
Anyway these are my two cents to the conversation, have a nice day, and don't hesitate to add your two cents if you feel like it!
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