#because on one hand i do believe it happened to them especially with shiv and roman

[susiehunsecker]

i've been struggling on how exactly to word this but it's always bothered me how people zone in on roman as the only roy sibling who's experienced sexual abuse based on the subtext of the show when we literally see logan sexually assault and harass shiv on screen. and like. running with the subtext logic it's not like that doesn't exist for kendall and even connor either. it's not even that i don't believe it actually happened for him it's just a matter of paying attention to everyone else

#as a victim myself i have mixed feelings on the roy kids' experiences with csa #because on one hand i do believe it happened to them especially with shiv and roman #but using it as a way to explain their neuroses just bugs me so much. it doesn't work like than in the show or in real life for that matter #csa tw #assault tw #like. I don't know there are just a million other reasons as to why roman is Like That other than csa

[creaturefeaster]

Any info you can spare on West Wiles?

Oh, definitely. I can tell you his entire backstory, really. I have the time. So if you're in for a read, go ahead and read more :3.

West was an animal farmer in a small village settled sea-side, about 400 years before the present story. At the starting point of his relevancy, he was beginning to make a family with his wife, who was newly pregnant with their first child.

One early & foggy morning, a large ship was found washed halfway onto the shore of their village, completely vacant inside. It was a confusing sight indeed, and sparked many scares and rumors for several weeks, but when nothing seemed to come of it, the scare died down.

A few months later though, the people of the village came under a mysterious 'night plague,' in which one would die suddenly, drained of all blood, looking as though they had aged a thousand years in their state of departure... and it only seemed to strike at night.

Nobody would ever know who the next victim of this plague would be, or when it would happen, so fear spread across the village once more.

The deaths at first were slow, depressing but easy to manage. But as the next couple of months went by, the death toll was rising at an alarming rate. Now granted, this was a small village of about two to three hundred, so after 3 or 4 months of this it was a total death zone.

Many people died, and in the rare instance they didn't die, they became pale and driven mad by an intense thirst for blood. Very very few people in this village even knew the folklore of vampires, and none assumed they truly existed. So this issue was fought only with isolation and avoidance of each other, out of fear of catching this horrible plague.

West was one of the few who did know of the tale, of blood sucking beasts of the night, and while he generally wasn't one to believe in such outlandish legends, the tragedy that had befell his village certainly made him suspicious. He would begin keeping lookout during the night, and begin risking his life for the safety of his remaining neighbors & family.

5 months into this nightmare, and 1 month before the birth of his child, West was one of the few in the village assisting with the construction of caskets for the fallen, doing whatever he could to try and end the suffering of his village.

When it got to the point where he was having to build caskets even for those who had not yet been afflicted though, he became so unnerved that he would break a shiv off the wood of a casket, traveling the nights with it in hand. With still no explanation for plague, he'd be fully under the belief now that vampires truly were to blame, especially after seeing some worrying silhouettes in the nights prior to this one.

Out of luck he would finally find one, though he was certain that there's a group of them out there. He'd stalk them from afar and follow them back to their group far out into the wild.

This is where he would meet Bonnie, as well as a group of over a dozen other vampires. If you wonder why this find was so easy for West, most of these vampires were extremely fresh from the draw, not having been afflicted for more than a few years at best. Having initially survived mostly off of animals as well, they were not what you could consider experts in their field

Because of that, many didn't know what to do when West showed up. Out of an intense rage would overcome West, he would end up successfully killing many of these vampires that night. The few who knew how to become a bat would flee. Bonnie would be the last to fight against West, all alone.

He lost, though. But in the breaths just before death, he vowed to Bonnie that he would see her dead, even if not by his own hands. And this cursed his bloodline in the process! ^_^ The first born would be doomed to die young if Bonnie was not stricken down. And so his first born gets born, grows up, becomes a vampire hunter themself, has a child, and dies young when they can't end up killing her. And the process repeated, for a very long time. This repeats for so long, the curse is just a family story at this point, but still a mysterious affliction.

This curse is passed through his blood, and at no point is there ever a second born, so his bloodline travels a very thin tightrope down his family tree.

Now, I want to finish this explanation off by stating that many of Bonnie's group were not actually involved in the take over of West's village. Bonnie and the others would have no idea why their entire group was attacked so violently, and the secrets of the ones who did know were ultimately never told, as they'd been killed by their own karma that horrible night.

West only knew Bonnie to be the last living vampire to have destroyed his home and life, and Bonnie only knows West as a stranger who destroyed her family. Bonnie's side is such a different one >_<. But she has the fortune of having 400 more years of story to tell, so I won't get into that right now.

#i cant check for grammatical issues rn but if there are any #ill fix later #anyway there u go for those who want the full shebang of West's deal

[flock-of-cassowaries]

Reading “How Fascism Works” by Jason Stanley (2018, Random House), and this passage stuck out to me:

In Nazi ideology, Jews operate with the same hierarchical views of nature as Nazis do, but use the universal principles of liberal democracy as a façade to advance it.

It reminded me very much of Roman Roy’s various critiques of his siblings’ more liberal impulses.

I think sometimes there is a tendency, especially among Roman apologists (a group among which I count myself) to cut his character some slack, because his siblings, as fellow members of his hyper-privileged caste enjoying the unearned fruits of their position, are to some degree poseurs and hypocrites.

But I also think it reflects a deeper, more ingrained level of fascist ideology in him - the belief that everyone, fundamentally, is playing the same game of striving for dominance.

(More under the cut.)

It’s also interesting how on election night, he is quick to write off the firebombing of the ballot counting centre in Milwaukee as an action by ANTIFA.  It is my interpretation that Roman fully knows better, on a rational level; but the fact the thought is almost-plausible to him - enough that he can argue it on multiple occasions that night with a relatively straight face - seems, to me, to suggest that there is some part of him that expects his opponents to use the same tactics as ‘his’ side does.

And then, the next day, after his father’s funeral - when he is face-to-face with people who are tangibly passionate and upset about the election call he championed - he yells at them that they have no idea how any of this works.

And on the one hand, that can be read as him aggressively telling them to fuck off, because they’re tiny ants whose voices don’t matter, no matter how hard they yell;

or, perhaps, attempting to assert that none of it really matters, because Mencken isn’t really as bad as they think he is, and it’s all just bullshit and posturing (which, I believe, is how Roman, as a queer man who definitely knows he’s queer, justifies Mencken to himself; as evidence, I will point to his insistence to Shiv and to himself on election night that they simply “made a night of good TV; nothing happened.”).

But it could also be read as a cry of frustration; of “Don’t you get it? This isn’t how the game is played. These aren’t the rules. What are you doing out here, with all this sincerity? Put that away.”

Finally, a little (optional) context:

If it seems like I’m bending over backwards to defend my favourite blorbo, that’s probably a somewhat fair critique; if Roman Roy were real, I certainly would never give him this much of the benefit of the doubt.

But I was raised with what I now realize was a lot of really fascist ideology, and examining how that kind of ideology was able, for many years, to nominally coexist with and, at times, override, my better, more human impulses is a very interesting exercise, and one that’s much easier through the lens of a fictional character.

#fascism #politics in succession (hbo) #roman roy character analysis #roman roy’s politics #roman roy and fascism #roman roy and the alt-right #how fascism works #jason stanley

[jeniffercheck]

tw // but you are the shivpert to ME and I was wondering what you think about the scene early in season 1 with logan and shiv when she goes to visit him and he's delirious and moves her hand down. I know a lot of fandom people don't consider the early season 1 stuff canon because so much was still being figured out but I would love to hear what you think

aw omg i'm honored to be your shivpert, there are so many in our fandom i feel like i am always learning something new from someone else 😭

light TW for SA (not talking about anything outside of the canon of the show) and of course i'll tag it as well -- but this topic is actually really interesting to me, and i've been meaning to think about it more just with myself LMFAO. i can see where a lot of people are coming from when they think these small moments in s1 don't count toward the rest of the show, but i actually do consider them really integral and informative for a lot of things they get into later on!!

that scene, shiv x roman's date rape by calvin klein scene (one of my favorite jokes of the whole show Pilot you will always be famous), and kendall getting a boner for rava in the hospital in s1 all stand out to me as kind of scenes of the same vein. i do believe to a certain extent that Succ was trying to live up to the HBO raunch, and the show seemed a lottt more interested in sex as a plot point then, (the shivnate car sex?????), but that's not to say it was just "needless," because i don't think it was excessive even if the tone is a little bit different than the rest of the show.

that moment with shiv, to me, is the earliest defining moment of shiv's entire "fuck around and find out" arc, and i honestly think that even IF s1 had the same tone as 2-4, they might leave that scene in. it was such an earnest display of the way that her stubbornness/honest efforts always blow up in her face and it's not all that different to her other standout moments in the show, ie. tern haven, the "would you stop buzzing in my ear" at the shareholder meeting, the s3 finale, 'rape me' speech at waystar, argestes panel, etc. etc. etc. -- also all culminating in voting TOM as CEO, which was not her plan when she negotiated a board seat for herself!!

succession at its core is just soooo wild, and that scene was very wild (i would argue kendall's boner at the hospital to be one of their bolder choices i will say) and i do also have more (and different) thoughts about the sexualization of shiv roy, BUTTT like i said above, i think the point of it was to be jarring, (and the jarring part about it is that when you get to that point of that episode, you're not really used to succession's antics yet, so they start at 100 instead of 0) and really show in one isolated incident, Shiv Roy's dedication to fucking around and finding out<33 it's so HER like truly only that would happen to her 😭

[as an aside: i do think it's very interesting under the context of shiv's sexualization as well, especially with all of the slut jokes aimed at her in season 1, and the focus on her promiscuity and obvious daddy issues, but i think it's more intentional symbolism than maybe people like to give it credit for]

#i hope this makes sense #marcia easily could've said 'hey shiv he's been acting a little weird' instead of making shiv think she's got him as a meat puppet up there #but then we wouldn't have had the drama #i love this show #and shiv<333 #answered #tw sa

[elysiadjarin]

Sword and Shield 10

Tags: Bad Batch x reader (you), fem!coded, poly!relationship, multi-part series, nonhuman!reader, Echo later on

Part 9: Shatter

Warnings: very much 18+, minors DNI you have been warned, TW for trauma and PTSD, PIV unprotected sex (irl please be safe and use protection), everything is consensual, overstimulation, oral, cockwarming, dom/sub interactions, choking, subspace mentions, poly relationship. Also I swear Wrecker will get a chapter too, don’t come at me!!

I know it’s been a while but I hope this long chapter makes up for it!

10: Recover, Relive

Two more smaller missions later, the Bad Batch had been given a break. You’d pushed through the healing and the expected night of nightmares just fine thanks to being able to curl up to the warmth of Tech and Wrecker. The entire team had been pretty careful with you for the past couple of days, letting you have your space to recover while you continued to work alongside them for missions.

Crosshair hadn’t said anything, really, but his willingness to just let you quietly sit in his presence or in the back of his mind and polish your Rifle form was his way of showing support that you appreciated.

You'd been relieved for the break, knowing that you needed a moment to reset and devote everything to recovering. While you'd started to get over the worst nightmares and the last of your injuries had completely healed, you were still struggling with flashbacks and keeping your focus.

Sitting curled up on Hunter's bunk, you leaned your chin against your knees pulled up to your chest and sighed. Everytime you closed your eyes, you could see Skarla's maniacal eyes and bloodstained grin as she reached into your body and reveled in your pain. You could still hear your own screams echoing through your memories. You'd buried them so deep, the inhibitor chips having contributed to the suppression, and now... well, it was coming back and demanding to be dealt with.

The 501st had already helped you deal with so much of your past. But not everything. And this... these memories had been ones that you’d barely disclosed to even them.

“Shiv.”

You looked up to see Hunter standing in front of the bunk, carefully sitting down on the edge. “Oh... hi.” You smiled faintly.

He observed you carefully. “Are you doing okay?”

For a moment, the temptation to just say “I’m fine” hovered on your lips. But you remembered how disappointed all your Vod’ika had been when they discovered you’d been suffering and hadn’t told them. And the Bad Batch... the ones you loved, deserved better. You knew that.

So you looked down at your knees, then back up at him. “A memory for a memory?” you offered.

Surprise flickered through his eyes, then he scooted backward and leaned against the wall. “I guess that’s fair,” he admitted. Eyebrows furrowing, he thought for a minute before finally answering. “There was one mission,” he said slowly. “It was pretty early on. Everything... almost went wrong to the point of failure. In the end, it was my fault that I didn’t listen and got Tech nearly killed.” His chest heaved with a sigh, his head shaking. “It taught me a valuable lesson, and made me a better leader. Tech forgave me. But sometimes... I still hate myself for it.” Bitterness laced his tone. “I can still hear him screaming in pain, and remember how I felt when I realized what I’d done. I’ll never forget how my own stupidity and pride allowed me to fail the team. In some ways... what happened to you on our first mission reminded me of that.”

You sat in silence for a minute, mulling over his story. In retrospect, it would make sense why Hunter had seemed to loathe himself overmuch and take too much blame for your injury on that mission. Still, you knew that most of it had been your own fault for getting distracted and allowing yourself to get sidetracked from the mission.

“Skarla,” you said abruptly. You felt his surprise over the Bond before it faded away. “She...” Your lips twisted. “She is who she is for a reason. But she’s also... extremely cruel. I... I can survive and heal from wounds that most can’t, because of what I am,” you said, feeling a bit uncomfortable. “So my wounds sometimes— they seem a lot worse to others than to me because my scale of survival is different. Skarla has... well,” you said, shifting, “she’s well aware of that fact. Every time I would fail to defeat the Guardian, she would be allowed to punish me for fifteen minutes in whatever way she pleased.”

Fifteen minutes of Nine Corellian Hells. Fifteen minutes of begging for death.

“I don’t know how many times I’ve been torn open, ribs cracked, my guts rearranged,” you said, exhaustion lining your voice. “Honestly, I’ve forgotten a lot of it. My brain... couldn’t handle keeping the memories and still staying sane, I was told. I guess it’s better I don’t. What I do still remember... it haunts me. Just the memory of the pain, wishing for death. Staring up at the ceiling of the chamber and hearing my own blood splatter against the walls, hearing myself scream like a stranger. They’re some of my worst memories. Being back there... it was hard but...” You looked down thoughtfully at your hands.

“As hard as it was... it wasn’t unbearable. Not anymore. Knowing that- that all of you were there, and that— that you believed in me, trusted me... Even Tech: he trusted me. It gave me a strength to face not just my past but my nightmares and memories now because... because I have all of you.” You gave Hunter a small but genuine smile. “Being able to feel that strength... it helped me to defeat my past.”

Hunter met your gaze with a softness in his eyes that warmed you. He held out his hand, and you took it gratefully. “We’re here for you, Shiv. In whatever way you need.”

You nodded, then scooted closer to him and leaned into his side. “I’m here, too. I want... I want to return the strength you’ve given me.”

He pressed a kiss to the side of your head, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you into him. “You do already. In more ways than you know.”

Despite yourself, you had to duck your head as heat rose to your face. Your mind wouldn’t stop supplying you with memories of Hunter thrusting into you, his hands gripped around your waist and siding down your back, pulling you into his hips. His face buried between your legs, fingers sliding into you— Crosshair’s lithe fingers wrapping around your throat as Hunter came inside you, moaning—

Hunter let out a quiet chuckle. “Oh, did you remember something else in particular, Shiv?”

Thoroughly embarrassed, you buried your face in your hands with a whimper, knowing he could feel the heat coming from you and probably even smell you at this point. But for some reason... the memories wouldn’t stop. You.... wanted it. Wanted him.

Hunter’s mouth brushed against your throat, even as he pulled you back and into his chest. “If you want to make new memories, I’d be glad to help with that.”

You whined, biting your lips. “I...”

He kissed your neck, sliding up to your jaw. His hand reached up and gently tilted your chin to his face. “Is this what you want, Shiv?” he asked it in a low, husky tone, his dark eyes darting down to your mouth with a flare of desire.

You swallowed, then nodded. Yes. You wanted Hunter.

He bent and kissed you. His kiss this time was a bit different. Maybe because this time you were alone, you didn’t know, but... there was something about his kiss that was more tender, more... slow, as though he were savoring you, memorizing the feel of your lips against his.

“Come here,” Hunter rasped, turning you towards himself. Reaching up, he pulled his shirt off and dragged you close again, his hands sliding down your back as he kissed you. His mouth was hungry, his hands taking yours and placing them against his chest. His fingers gently slid under your top, and he pulled back for a moment.

“Can I?”

You nodded shyly, letting him slide your shirt and bra off. His hands slid up, cupping your breasts in his hands and admiring them for a moment.

“Can’t blame Tech for being obsessed,” Hunter admitted after a moment, teasing your nipples with his fingers.

You whimpered, shivering under the touch as you bit your lip. His calloused hands were warm and firm, and the deft confidence in the way he touched you brought back memories of his hands effortlessly wielding you as a blaster. Hunter’s touch was one of a leader, confident and respectful of the power he held, knowing its limits and its capacities and treating it accordingly.

“So you feel that, too,” Hunter murmured, making you realize that his Bond with you was alight with shared sensation.

His hand moved down, splaying over your bared stomach. He paused, his eyes curious as he simply gazed at his fingers, his palm covering your navel. Your chest heaved with breath as you wondered what he was thinking. A little embarrassed at the intensity that had crept into his gaze, your fingers twitched on the waist of his trousers.

Hunter bent forward, then, and caught your mouth in a long, languid kiss that brimmed with appreciation. His hands swept down to your waist, settling on your hips. “You’re beautiful, Shiv,” he murmured against your mouth.

A little surprised, you pulled back to blink up at him. Hunter had never really struck you as one to pay attention to that sort of thing, so his soft, earnest comment surprised you.

He reached up, brushing a piece of hair behind your ear. “I know all of us love all of you, and admittedly some of us might be especially appreciative of specific things. But whenever I see you, all I think of is... you,” he said slowly, eyes trailing over your face. “Watching you interact with the team, seeing you get excited when you’re successful in Transference, or even just... sitting on a bunk somewhere. I think just your astral form is enough for me to know it’s you, mesh’la.” He leaned his forehead against yours.

Your heart skipped a beat, and you had to smile and close your eyes. The warmth curled in you, and you let your happiness spill over the Bond.

“Mm. Although I do think that you’re a different kind of pretty when you’re clearly enjoying getting fucked,” Hunter chuckled, his voice deepening as he leaned closer to your ear.

The filthy words accompanied by the way Hunter’s hands sensually trailed up your front made you bite your lip and flush, looking down. Despite yourself, a thought popped into your head and you suddenly giggled, reaching up to press your fingers against your lips.

“Something funny?” Hunter asked, amusement lacing his own voice.

“My Vod’ika,” you giggled. “They’d all be losing their minds if they knew that I—“ you burst into a fresh wave of laughter, leaning your head against his shoulder. “Maker, Kix is protective enough, he’d want to kill all of you- and Fives, oh, Fives—“ Tears of laughter welled in your eyes as you thought about it. Fives wouldn’t know whether to tease you or want to fight the Bad Batch. Hawk and Dogma would be in shock that you were with four people.

Hunter laughed with you, shaking his head. “Not sure if I should laugh or be offended that you’re thinking of other men while I’m touching you,” he teased.

You suppressed your laughter, grinning up at him. “Sorry, Hunter,” you managed. “I promise I’m paying attention to you.” You lifted his hand to your face, leaning your cheek into his palm with a smile.

His eyes darkened, and he tipped you back. Catching you gently, he lowered you onto the bunk and pulled the pillow under your head. Shifting himself above you, he bent to kiss you and pull your body against his. His fingers played against your shorts, and you had to squirm a little at the way your body sparked at the friction. Letting out a little noise into his mouth, you canted your hips up as he ground against you.

Hunter let out a quiet grunt into your mouth, nipping at your lips. “You want these off, mesh’la?” His hands tugged at your shorts.

You lifted your hips, letting him slide them off. To your vague surprise, he left your underwear on. He started to kiss down your neck and chest. His fingers slid around the thin underwear, and he grunted as he felt how slick you’d already gotten. His fingers found barely any friction as they slid into your core.

You gasped, back arching as he pressed his fingers up into you. He worked you in a way that had you whining, entirely at his mercy as he proved how diligent he’d been in exploring your body and leaning your curves and edges. He traveled down your body, kissing your thigh as he continued to work his fingers and stretch you. The way he stared at your drooling core sent a flush of heat through you.

Then his thumb pushed aside more of the underwear, and his face lowered.

You let out a strangled gasp, back arching as your hands flew down and found purchase in his hair. His breath was hot against your core, his tongue dizzyingly familiar with your body. He grunted as your fingers tightened and twisted in his hair, his fingers finding that spot that had you arching into his mouth with a moan.

“Hunter,” you moaned, trembling against him as you felt that coil tighten in your abdomen.

After one last, long lick, Hunter lifted his mouth and licked you off of his lips with a satisfied look. Shifting himself back up your body, he slid his fingers out of you and instead brought them to your mouth.

You let him slide his fingers between your lips, the flavor bursting in your mouth. His fingers pushed against your tongue, and he surveyed you with dark eyes and a lazy smile. After a moment, he pulled his hand away and slid his trousers off, bending to kiss you again. He settled himself between your legs, his cock resting heavily against your core and up your lower belly. Something slick dripped onto your skin, warm and thick.

“Is this okay, Shiv?” Hunter asked, his voice strained.

You nodded, reaching up to slide your hands up his shoulders. Over the Bond, you could feel the way his utter desperation to be inside you heightened. His mind, as he lost control of the Bond, kept focusing on the way your body melted into his hands, the way his body burned as he pressed against you, the way he gravitated towards you. He let out a quiet gasp as his cock slipped against you, his eyes squeezing shut above you.

He slowly, ever so slowly, eased into you. Every inch earned you another low groan, and you had to stare up at his face in awe. Hunter’s face twisted in pleasure, his jaw clenched and his eyelashes fluttering.

“Maker, mesh’la,” he choked, shuddering above you as he completely bottomed out, buried deep inside you. “I can’t— you’re so kriffing tight.” His eyes, when he opened them to stare down at you, looked practically drugged.

You abruptly remembered Hunter’s enhanced senses, especially as a wave came over his side of the Bond of his overwhelmed pleasure. Reaching up, you cupped his face in your hands, trying to make sure he wouldn’t overdo himself.

“Just relax,” you whispered, feeling the way he trembled against you. You knew that the moment he started moving you’d be dangerously close to the edge thanks to his own pleasure he was sharing across the Bond. Not to mention the way Hunter was practically collapsed on top of you, his body pressed against yours, his low groans spilling into your ear as his mouth pressed against your skin. His arms braced himself on either side of you, your legs propped up against his hips.

“Gonna— gonna move,” he hissed, slowly pulling back out so only his tip stayed in you. “Kriff,” he mumbled under his breath.

You were already making sloppy sounds, and you whimpered as he pushed back into you. The way his movements were so precise and sure, the way his mouth pressed against yours with a burning need made that tightness in you start to snap. You whined, already so close to coming.

“You gonna cum, Shiv?” Hunter chuckled, his voice raspy. “You’re so kriffing wet around me.”

You moaned, eyes fluttering as he started to thrust, pitching into you smoothly. His hand reached down between you, and his thumb found your clit.

“You feel so good, so hot and wet and tight,” he murmured, beginning to praise you even as his hips started to stutter. “Kriff, mesh’la, you take me so well. So pretty, under me like this.”

You whimpered, reveling in the soft praises and touches that he showered on you. You could feel him starting to get close himself, his movements a little more erratic as he lost control.

“So lucky to have you, that you love us,” Hunter rasped against your neck, his kiss almost reverent. “Gonna— gonna cum, mesh’la—“

His finger twitched against your clit and you were arching, crying out his name as the heat washed through you, white hot. Pleasure burst behind your eyelids as you came, just as he slammed into you and ground, groaning your name. He spilled into you, filling you up, then shuddered and collapsed against you. His body leaned against yours, his face burying into the crook of your shoulder.

The heat that pooled in your belly as Hunter kept you plugged made your eyelashes flutter. Letting out a soft sigh of contentment, you reached up and gently drew your fingers through his hair.

His chest heaved for breath, and his hands ran down your sides appreciatively. “I love you, so much,” he whispered, his voice getting heavy.

You reached up and pressed a shy kiss to the corner of his lips. “I love you too, Hunter. Thank you for taking care of me.”

He fell asleep rather quickly, though you guessed it was in part due to the overstimulation. You waited until he was asleep before carefully sliding out from underneath him. You quickly adjusted your underwear to catch Hunter’s cum starting to run down your leg. You needed to make it to the fresher, but had to lean against the wall halfway there as your knees almost gave out.

You finally managed to go get yourself cleaned up, and went to go change underwear and fetch your bra. You made rounds to collect laundry, putting in a load and blowing out a breath. Pushing hair away from your face, you went to the common area to go find a T-shirt you knew you’d left in there.

Looking around, you finally caught sight of the large shirt and perked up, going to go grab it and slide it over yourself. Tech was the only other one in the common room, and you made a quick decision as you walked over to him.

“Tech?” you asked softly.

He looked up at you, blinking owlishly as he registered your presence. “Ah, Shiv.” He readjusted his goggles. “Can I assist you with something?”

You tilted your head, clasping the edge of the shirt in your fingers. “If... if you’re not busy, can I— can I talk with you?” you asked, suddenly a bit nervous.

He turned fully toward you. “Sure, Shiv. I was just working on a few odds and ends anyway.”

You glanced down at his legs. “Um, can I— can I sit?”

Some confusion flickered across his face. “Of course-“

You got closer to him and slid into his lap, facing him with your legs on either side of him and your hands twisted in the hem of your shirt. He let out a small noise of surprise, his hands coming up to your hips to steady you.

“I wanted to thank you,” you said softly, still not looking up at his face.

“Thank me? For what, Shiv?” Tech asked curiously. His hands tugged at you, bringing you a little closer to him.

“I know I said it before, but— but I really wanted to thank you properly,” you said, scrambling for words. “For how you trusted me, back during the... the ritual.” You made a little, nervous gesture. “I mean— it means more to me than I think you realize. It’s— the ritual is one that’s... that’s fueled by blood, whether yourself or your Champion. Skarla— she’s always been very powerful and- and she... she was very cruel to me, a long time ago. Going back there was...” your face twisted in misery as you looked down. “It was really difficult, and I— it brought back a lot of fear.”

Taking a breath, you made yourself look up at him. “But you trusted me, believed in me. You didn’t even question me when I led you towards dangerous places, and did everything I asked without hesitating. You trusted me to the point that when faced with something unusual... you readily gave your blood for me.” Your heart was in your throat even as you said it. “It— it meant so much to me, Tech,” your voice wavered, your eyes welling with tears. “The only reason I actually won that match... is because of you.” You met his eyes, trying to convey how much it truly meant.

Tech’s eyes widened as he gazed at you with surprise, his fingers tightening around your waist.

“You gave me the strength I needed to push through, and the way you believed in me...” You reached up and wiped away the grateful tears that had sprang to your eyes. “I fought a battle against my fear and the memories of my failure, too,” you whispered. “But your faith in me was what really gave me the power to win. And I wanted— I needed to thank you. So you know... know what it means to me.”

Tech leaned forward. Your eyes widened as he kissed you, taken a bit aback by the suddenness. But it felt so good, the way his mouth pressed against yours and the way his emotions started to spill over the Bond to you. Tech was... his kiss always made you lean into him, eyes fluttering closed as you melted into the gentle, desperate affection. His precise, clinical nature softened whenever he kissed and touched you.

“I am glad that you are all right,” Tech said, his voice quiet and earnest. “It was... frightening, to see you fight alone. I am pleased to know that I could give you strength in any way I could.”

You leaned forwards and hugged him, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Thank you, Tech.”

“You’re welcome, cyar’ika,” he murmured back. He let out a sigh as you shifted, his hands gripping around your hips. “Shiv— could I ask a favor?”

You blinked, pulling back to look up at him.

He glanced down at the hem of your shirt, and an image flashed across the Bond. You, leaning against Wrecker’s chest, fast asleep, Wrecker’s thick cock buried inside you as your chest rose and fell with breath and your face flushed with the arousal. Color crept up Tech’s neck.

“I— um—“

You looked up at him with a shy smile, a bit embarrassed but also flattered that he seemed to be so enamored with your body as well. Leaning down, you grasped his hand and brought it up to the hem of your shirt, pushing his fingers up under it.

Tech swallowed, his hand trailing upward, sliding to the edge of your bra. He glanced at you for permission, and you answered by reaching down and unzipping his trousers. His breath hitched as you began to slowly pump him, your fingers playing a little with his tip. His hand slid under your bra, brushing over your nipple as you bit your lips at the stimulation. Your body was still a little sensitive after Hunter, and you were starting to feel the tiredness pluck at your eyelids.

Tech slid his fingers around your underwear, only to feel you dripping wet and still leaking a bit of Hunter. He brought his fingers up and didn’t seem to be surprised at the white, simply sticking it in his mouth.

“Shiv,” Tech murmured, bending to press a kiss to your throat.

You scooted forwards, letting him guide himself into you. Squeezing your eyes shut, you had to let out a soft moan as he sank fully into you, stuffing you so perfectly. Tech really was the perfect girth for this, you thought dizzily. He just hit every spot inside you as he stuffed you full and kept you sitting still on his cock. It almost made you feel torn between wanting to move and wanting it to stay there, resting perfectly inside you, lighting you up in the best way possible.

He let out a groan against your ear, his hands keeping your hips pressed against his, keeping you completely pressed into his chest, every curve of your body melting against his. Letting out a shuddering breath, he shifted and scooted forwards, beginning to resume his work.

Despite yourself, you had to open your mouth against the crook of his neck and shoulder, biting down gently and beginning to absently suckle. His skin had a hint of salt, but just the warmth of his skin comforted you, your eyes fluttering closed as you suckled a mark into his neck.

Eventually you fell asleep, happily cradled against him and stuffed completely full.

~

“Oh, hey, there’s Shiv! I was wondering where she was.”

Stirring, you started to wake up. Reaching up, you rubbed at your eye and felt the yawn build in your mouth.

“You woke her up, Wrecker,” Tech sounded a bit morose.

“Huh? Oh— sorry, Shiv.” Wrecker’s voice sounded closer.

You sat up a little, arms still flung across Tech’s shoulders. Stretching, you let the yawn stretch your mouth and your eyes flutter open. Sleep still sticking in your eyes, you blinked up at Wrecker, lips parted.

Wrecker grinned. “Did you have a good nap?”

You nodded belatedly, reaching up to rub the sleep out of your eyes. For a moment, you just blankly stared at Tech’s collar as you woke up more fully. Then shaking your head, you looked up at his face. He gazed back down at you, his hand lightly resting on your thigh. He brushed his thumb across your skin, and you suddenly realized why your lower body felt warm with a pulsing heat. He was still buried hilt deep inside you, his cock thick and hard as it pressed up inside you.

“You’ve been asleep for a chron,” Tech said, his voice surprisingly even.

Your mind fizzled for a moment. He hadn’t moved for a whole chron? He hadn’t cum, obviously, so... Then your lips parted, and you tilted your head at him. But your breath caught in your throat, and you instead shivered and looked down, your face blooming with warmth. Reaching up, you pressed the back of your hand against your mouth to suppress your whimper.

“Ah— th-thank you, I— I think I needed that nap,” you admitted, trying to scrape yourself together. “Um-“ You glanced up to see Tech’s knowing, little smile that he gave you. His hand slid down to your inner thigh, his fingers pressing into your skin. His eyes glittered with the knowledge that at the moment, the T-shirt was the only thing hiding the way your body was clenching around him, making a wet spot against his trousers, drooling all over him, coating your thighs in slick. Every time he pulsed, you felt his cock press up against your g-spot.

“Wrecker, can you hand Shiv her datapad? I think it’s still on the table,” Tech said, his voice still frustratingly calm considering how clearly desperate his body was.

You glanced up at him in a bit of despair, wondering if he was really going to still not move. Though it didn’t surprise you that Tech’s patience and endurance were so high, still. This was on the verge of being cruel. Your body clearly had been frustrated this whole time you’d been asleep, denied movement and friction.

Wrecker handed you the datapad, and you took it with a weak smile. “Thank you,” you murmured.

Tech’s hand squeezed a handful of your thigh. Stay still for me, cyar’ika. And because it was Tech, somehow the order was still coated with that enamored desperation that made you want to obey, just to give him whatever he wanted.

Leaning forward again, you rested your chin against Tech’s shoulder and propped your arms over his shoulders, opening up the datapad. You also realized that Tech had taken off your bra, though you wondered where he’d put it. Not that you cared, particularly. He leaned forward a little as well, reaching for a tool, and pressed your breasts against his chest.

You whined across the Bond, pouting at how mean he was.

He just chuckled, the loving affection pouring across the Bond a satisfactory compensation.

Wrecker sat across from you, beginning to chatter about how he’d been training. You listened, humming and nodding as you pulled up the schematics that Tech had uploaded to your datapad for Wrecker’s combat gloves. You’d been studying and modifying them so that hopefully Wrecker would be able to have them by the next mission.

Just then, Crosshair strolled in. “Hunter says there’s a bit of turbulence ahead,” he drawled, just as the ship jolted.

You let out a choked gasp as it made you rise a little and slam back down on Tech’s cock. Eyes widening, you tried to keep your composure as you gripped onto your datapad. Tech’s grunt had been lost, but the way he throbbedinside you was a sweet sort of revenge.

“Whoa.” Wrecker grabbed onto his seat. “What is it?”

“Asteroid belt,” Cross said, grabbing onto the nearest steady surface. “We have to manually fly through some of it.”

Your mind was already short circuiting. Tech had somehow gotten bigger inside of you, and you were almost on the verge of tears thanks to the way he was pressing into all your sensitive spots. At this point, you were just desperately trying to hold still while your body clamped down on his cock and inched so much closer to the edge. Tech’s hand on your lower back still somehow kept you grounded, reminding you not to move. You didn’t want to disobey. You wanted to make Tech happy.

“Hey Shiv, what’re you working on?” Wrecker asked, turning to you. The ship still dipped and swerved once in a while.

You fumbled with your datapad, connecting it to the holoscreen and transferring the data. “Your- your gloves,” you managed, trying to keep yourself at least coherent. But it was so hard when Tech’s warmth was engulfing you, his hand sweeping down your back, across your thigh, pressing your chest into his.

“I’m trying to modify them before our next mission,” you continued, highlighting the list of mods you’d created off to the side of the schematic. “These are the ones that have already been done, and these are the ones that I’d like to try to do-“

The ship jolted, taking a sharp turn up before coming straight back down and banking. This time, you barely managed to keep yourself from letting out a filthy, desperate moan. Tech had slid his hand down as though to brace you, but his thumb slid under the hem of the shirt and instead slicked up your clit.

You’re doing very well, Shiv, Tech’s voice puddled in your mind. You already came twice while you were asleep. You were so good for Hunter, do you think you could be good for me just a little longer?

So you bit back your sob and instead sank your teeth into your lip so hard you swore you’d leave a mark. You weren’t surprised that Tech knew about you and Hunter’s earlier session: Hunter always projected unconsciously once he was on sensory overload.

“That looks super cool, Shiv! I can’t wait to test it out.” Wrecker was grinning.

“Ah— sorry, Shiv. I need to grab this for a moment,” Tech said, just before moving forward and pressing his hand against your lower back. He grabbed something, then leaned back again and trailed his hand up your back.

Crosshair met your gaze across the room, his lips tilting up in a knowing smirk. His eyes swept over you, a hint of appreciation buried in his dark eyes. He said nothing, but you knew that he’d figured out exactly what was happening. You were past the point of embarrassment. Not only because your body was desperate, but also because the boys all quite clearly appreciated the projections over the Bonds and the sight of you being made a mess over and over.

The final jolt back into hyperspace proved to be too much for you. The way it pressed you wholly into Tech’s front and caused your clit to grind against his hip. The way your body clenched even wrenched a grunt from him.

The datapad fell from your weak fingers, clattering to the floor. Your head dropped down, your breaths quick and shallow as your entire face flushed, eyes fluttering closed. Lips parted, you peeled open drugged and teary eyes.

“Shiv? You okay?” Wrecker asked, looking at you in some surprise.

“Cruel, Tech,” Hunter’s amused voice came from the doorway. He jerked his head. “I’m going to go get some more shut-eye. Take care of her.” He disappeared down the hall.

“Huh?” Wrecker looked thoroughly confused.

Crosshair rolled his eyes. “Wrecker, she’s been sitting there for over a chron.”

Tech turned the chair to give Wrecker the full view. His hand slid up your thigh, bringing the edge of the shirt up as his hand traveled further up your hip and waist. “She’s been cockwarming me,” Tech said almost casually. “I wanted to see how sensitive she could get. A... pleasant experiment, if you will.”

You were shivering at that point, your mouth watering as tears slipped down your cheeks. The overstimulation was a pleasure you simultaneously wished would end and yet never stop. Your entire body felt like you were trying to completely melt into Tech, legs trembling.

Wrecker laughed, eyes lighting up. “Whoa Tech, I guess you really must have wanted it. A whole chron?” He shook his head, but his eyes trailed over you. “I mean, Shiv does look really pretty like that, though,” he admitted.

Crosshair approached, bending to tilt your chin up to his face with his finger. “Well, it looks like our little kitten is rather happy about your experiment. But also getting... desperate.” A smirk curled the corner of his lips as he stared at you through half-lidded eyes. “How... appealing.” He brushed a tear off of your chin, then straightened and walked back toward the door. “Take care of her, Tech. I’ll be back to talk to her once she’s... available.”

“Good luck, Shiv. I’m gonna go get a snack,” Wrecker said cheerfully, following Cross out the door with a wave.

“It seems as though we all liked the results of this experiment,” Tech remarked, sounding satisfied.

Your fingers curled in his shirt, nails scraping across his back. Lips parting, you breathed his name in a soft, half-drunk voice that dripped with pleasure. You wanted to cum, yes, but more than that, you wanted the satisfaction of hearing Tech praise you for not moving, for being good. Just his hand on your back and the steady affection that poured over the Bond was enough to make you seek more, whatever the means.

Tech shivered under you at the sound of his name spilling from your lips, and his fingers tightened on your waist. “You’ve done so well, cyar’ika,” he murmured, kissing your ear. “Thank you for being patient. Can I make it up to you, now?”

Your mouth watered at the idea, and you pulled back a little to be able to look up at his face. You knew you were a wreck, lips trembling and tear streaks down your face, but you wanted it. Wanted to ask.

“Can I-“ You swallowed thickly, feeling your face flush. “Can you...” You licked your lips. “In my mouth?”

Surprise flickered in his eyes for a moment, then he reached forward and cupped your face in his hands. His thumbs brushed away the tear-tracks, and his eyes softened. “If that’s what you want, of course. But I’d like to make you feel good, first.”

Your mind fuzzed with confusion. Make you feel good? But that’s literally all you’d been feeling the whole time, wasn’t it? He was the one that hadn’t cum yet.

All remaining coherent thought flew out of your head the moment Tech’s fingers found your clit. He leaned forward, drawing you into a tender kiss that sharply contrasted the way he dragged his fingers against you. His hips snapped up into you once, and you broke.

You wailed.

The pent-up release that had been building as he edged you over and over had you seeing stars, fireworks, whole galaxies. It burst inside you with a heat that washed over you and stole your breath, searing into your bones and wrenching a shattered sob from your mouth. You hardly registered that Tech’s name was spilling from your lips in a litany of prayer, too wrecked to even remember your own name.

You slowly wound down from the devastating high, trembling, tears rolling down your cheeks. Your body sparked and shuddered, humming in the aftermath in a way that left a glowing ember of satisfied warmth deep inside you. Coming undone had never so intensely walked the line of pleasure just this side of pain.

Tech’s arms were wrapping around your waist, one hand coming up to cup your face as he pulled you to lean against him. You started to register his steady stream of praise as he kissed your cheek and trailed his lips down your neck and shoulder.

“You did so well, cyar’ika. You deserve to feel good. So pretty, cumming for me.”

Your eyelashes fluttered as you slowly recovered, your body all but boneless against his chest. Snuggling into him, you tucked your face into his neck and sighed softly. You just... wanted a moment. To just press against Tech and feel his presence, his hands gently skimming over you, soothing you.

“Are you okay?” Tech checked, his voice low and inquisitive.

You hummed and nodded against his shoulder, basking in the glow of the high. “Thank you, Tech,” you murmured shyly.

He coaxed your head back so he could press a soft kiss to your lips. “For what? You’re the one who had to put up with my experiment.” The words were half-teasing, but his thumb stroked over your cheek with a tenderness that showed his mild concern.

You shook your head, reaching up to delicately brush your fingers across his face, peering up from under your lashes. “You take really good care of me, even though you’re feeling it a lot too...”

He had to be almost on the verge of pain. The way he was still buried inside you at the moment gave you an acute knowledge of how much his cock was throbbing, straining inside you.

His breath came out a bit shaky. “You come first, cyar’ika.”

Reaching up, you pulled him into a grateful kiss. Before the 501st, and even then rarely, no one had ever put you first in anything. The way the Bad Batch had taken care of you even in the middle of war had been a first in so many ways. And even now, Tech had put your wellbeing and comfort first, before his own. You wanted to return the favor.

Tech leaned into the kiss, clearly growing desperate for relief. Still, the kiss was tender for all its hunger, and his hands smoothed over your waist gently.

Pulling back, you slid out of his lap and all but puddled to the floor, your knees completely weak after the force of your orgasm. Still, that’s all you needed. Scooting forward a little, you reached out and brushed your fingers against the swollen, almost purpled head of his weeping cock. He was straining, and he let out a hiss as your fingers dragged across him. A thought struck you, and you tilted your head.

“What do you want, Tech?” you asked, your fingers smearing with your own slick coating his cock. You looked up at him, wanting to please him in the way he wanted.

He lurched forward a little, then looked down at you and panted. “I— wh-what... I...”

You paused in your stroking, your thumb rubbing on the underside. “I want you to feel good, too.”

Before he could quite help himself or stop it, a thought rocketed across the Bond. Color burst in his neck, creeping up to the tips of his ears. Despite yourself, you had to stifle a giggle and instead smile a little, wholly unsurprised even if his reaction did amuse you.

Shuffling forward, you pulled your shirt up and over your head. You had to think about it for a moment, but you decided to just give it your best shot regardless of the potential awkwardness. For Tech... you’d try your best. You pushed yourself closer to his lap, letting his straining cock fall between your breasts. Reaching up, you pushed your chest together and felt the slick slide against your skin.

Tech let out a low, tortured groan that made your already-battered body pulse with appreciation. He shuddered, eyes squeezing shut as pure pleasure flashed across his face. His eyes peeled open in time to see you kitten lick the tip of his cock just peeking from between your breasts.

Readjusting yourself, you found a position that let you move a little bit while still having access for your mouth. Sliding lower, you took the whole head into your mouth. It had swollen to the point that it was almost a struggle to get it in your mouth. The moment the heat of your mouth hit his cock, he let out a strangled moan and lurched, shuddering.

“I’m not— not going to last, Shiv,” he gasped, his whole body starting to tremble.

You lifted your mouth. “S’okay, Tech,” you said shyly. “You can use me.”

You knew that he was close, but you really had underestimated the effect the visual was having on him. You’d just stretched your mouth open around him again when he let out a half-choked cry. It took you by surprise, not expecting it that quickly.

Taken off guard, the first burst into your mouth made you squeak. Every spurt of his cum kept gathering in your mouth faster than you could swallow, and soon your mouth was completely full. It started to trickle out of the corners of your mouth, while you braced yourself for balance by splaying your palm against Tech’s stomach. His hand reached down and tangled in your hair, twitching weakly as he groaned.

He was gasping for breath by the time he rode out his high. His fingers loosened, and your mouth popped off of his cock as you fell back onto the floor. Mouth still full, you whined in protest as it started to drip out of your mouth. Some splashed onto your chest, and you lifted your fingers to your lips as you swallowed. You still hadn’t swallowed all of it by the time you opened your mouth for breath, so more of it ended up on your chest.

You pouted a little, wishing you hadn’t wasted so much. Tech’s cum, for some reason, was just enough of that tangy-sweet flavor with a hint of salt to make you not hate it. Besides, now you’d have to clean yourself off more than you’d normally have to otherwise. Looking down, you smeared a bit over your chest with your slick fingers, sticking them in your mouth.

Tech had slumped over in his chair, getting his breath back.

You crawled up closer to him again, getting his attention. “Are you okay, Tech?” you asked, a little concerned.

Tech looked at you, and his eyes riveted on your mouth, trailing down to your chest. Swallowing thickly, he nodded. “Maker, yes,” he murmured, dragging a hand through his hair.

You smiled up at him. “I’m glad.” Looking back down at yourself, you hummed. “I should go clean up again...”

“Sorry,” Tech blurted.

You looked up, surprised. “F-for what?”

“I— I made a mess...” He glanced down at you. “Didn’t get to warn you.”

You giggled. “It’s okay, Tech. I don’t mind.” You gave him a smile, standing slowly to make sure your knees would get you to the fresher. Scooping up the T-shirt, you headed for the door. “I’ll be back.”

You cleaned up, pulling the T-shirt back over yourself before heading back to the common area. Finding your poor datapad, you picked it up from where you’d dropped it. Tech came up to you, wrapping an arm around your waist and pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“Thank you, Shiv. I’m going to go get cleaned up.”

You nodded back, giving him a smile. Turning back to your datapad, you decided to resume a bit of work you’d been doing. Taking a break from Wrecker’s gloves, you pulled up a series of footage you’d meant to assess from a recent mission. Hooking up the datapad to the holoscreen, you started to scrutinize the footage.

You’d wanted to see if you could better understand Crosshair’s personal preferences as far as vantage point and strengths went in order to better accommodate for him. Though you did know a few of his tells as a sniper, you still felt a little in the dark when it came to any patterns he had. You wanted to try to see if you could learn anything more, also wanting to see how he handled you as a weapon from an outsider’s perspective. Sometimes, it helped you adjust better.

As usual, you lost yourself in the familiar work and completely lost track of your surroundings. Hands wrapped around your waist, settling on your hips and bringing you out of your focused haze.

“Well, it looks like I found our little kitten doing something interesting,” a voice hummed into your ear, low and smooth.

Color leaped into your face as you gasped, pulled back into his chest. “O-oh, Crosshair...”

One hand anchoring your hip to him, his other hand started to trail up your front. “And what exactly were you doing, Shiv?” he drawled, lazy but not displeased.

You swallowed. “I— I was trying to analyze footage a little more,” you answered, voice pitching a little higher. “I just— I feel like I don’t know your preferences enough, and- and I wanted to see if I could do— do better for you—“

Crosshair’s fingers came up to your neck, tracing the side of your throat down to your shoulder. “Is that right? Don’t you think we should be the ones analyzing you a little more?”

The comment had something.... else to it. An edge that made you pause, tilting your head to look up into his face. Was he upset about something?

A soft sigh blew over your skin, the only way you even knew he’d done it at all. “We stood by and watched as you fought the Guardian and weren’t able to do anything. Didn’t even know you could fight like that. What’s the point in having you be our weapon if we don’t even know anything about you?”

You closed your eyes. “It’s not your fault if I didn’t tell you,” you pointed out quietly. “And I... I should have, I know. That’s on me, not you.”

Cross grunted. “You blame yourself too much,” he grumbled.

You gasped as his teeth sank into the crook of your neck, not hard enough to bruise but definitely enough for you to feel it. Your back arched automatically, though his fingers tightened around your throat and held your head back and neck accessible.

Your eyes squeezed shut as your fingers grappled against his trousers for some sort of stability. Everything seemed to be spinning, Crosshair’s mouth hot against your skin. His hand on your hip pulled you into him, and he ground against your ass in a way that left you squirming on the verge of embarrassment. He chuckled.

“Is my little kitten going to be good for me?” A hint of stubble rasped against your neck, leaving you shuddering.

“Yes,” you whimpered, already trembling. Cross may not have been physically as large or intimidating as Wrecker, but the lithe strength in his arms and the deft confidence of his thin, calloused fingers did something to you that left you utterly weak.

“That’s a good girl,” he murmured, voice slick. His hand slid under the oversized T-shirt, trailing up your hip. His fingers hooked on your underwear, playing with the fabric. His mouth moved lazily over the back of your neck as he tilted your head forward a little for access.

“Next time we make a stop, I think we’re going to have go get you some... things, hmm?” he remarked casually, just as his hand twisted.

The underwear snapped, slipping off of your hips and leaving you feeling oddly... vulnerable. You trusted Crosshair with your life, of course. But somehow... you felt so much more self-conscious around him than the others. Maybe it was the way you couldn’t read him as easily as the others? Or just the way he tended to not be as expressive as the others toward you? What was it that made you cherish his affection in such a different way compared to the others?

Crosshair nudged you forward, letting your hands land against the holotable for support. His other hand let go of your hip, only to slide your shirt up over your back before reaching back to unzip his trousers.

“You seemed to enjoy Tech’s experiments,” he noted, fingers sliding around your hip. His fingers spread you open, revealing how slick you were already. “And do you think you can take me too?”

You nodded faintly, then gasped as his cock slid against you. “I don’t think I heard you, kitten,” he drawled.

“Y-yes, I-I can,” you stammered, already shivering. Your body felt hypersensitive, both from your previous session with Tech as well as the way Cross somehow knew exactly how to touch you in every sensitive spot. Had he really observed you that much-?

He slid two fingers into your mouth, letting you suck on them as he kept a vise-like grip on your jaw. The movement was simple, but the way it made you feel so completely controlled, trapped between him and the table, made you go pliant. He handled your body as confidently as he did your Rifle form, tracing over you with a sort of muted reverence that you began to recognize as your memory drew parallels. The confidence was reassuring, as though he were subconsciously saying that you could trust him, that he knew how to handle you expertly, that you could leave it in his capable hands.

You whimpered around his fingers as your mind fully leaned into the reassurance, leaving you open and pliant to him.

“That’s right, Shiv.” Crosshair’s voice slid around you, through you. “Bend over.”

You obeyed almost without thinking, sliding down onto your elbows and then completely collapsing against the table. The cool metal pressed against your cheek, and your eyes fluttered closed as your breath shallowed. Your lips parted in a soft moan as you felt Cross start to slide into you.

For a moment, he only kept the tip in you, letting you flutter around him and adjust. Then he reached down and pulled both of your legs up, pushing them up on the table so you looked like you were in a sitting position, your legs both on one side and pulled against his hip. His fingers wrapped around your ankle like a vise, just as he thrust up into you.

Your fingers curled around the edge of the table as you choked.

It was the first time Cross had actually penetrated you, and it was already about to drive you over the edge. His cock was long, and while not as thick as Tech, it definitely stretched you in different ways. He pressed up inside you in depths you didn’t know were possible. You swore you could taste him in your throat, he was so far inside you.

Bending over you, Cross started to mercilessly fuck up into you, barely giving you a moment to breathe. The way he had your legs together and bent up put a pressure on your clit that spiked every time he bottomed out; and at the pace he’d set, you could feel yourself careening closer to the edge. He grunted, his iron grasp on your hips definitely about to leave bruises littered over your skin.

His hand tangled in your hair, pulling so he could lower his mouth back onto your throat. Every other thrust was punctuated with a sloppy kiss to your neck, a contrast that only made you moan louder. Your body rocked with the brutal pace, and you could swear that Cross was molding you around his cock.

Somewhere in the jumble of your mind, his name managed to slur off of your tongue. You weren’t sure how or why, but your mind was starting to blur and fuzz, focusing solely on the way Crosshair’s body was hunched over yours, his hands controlling you so deftly, taking control over your body, your pleasure. Everything else faded into the background, until all you knew was him, and the way his fingers wrapped around your throat as he fucked you into the table.

You weren’t sure how long you drifted in the haze, but when you managed to focus, you found yourself gazing up into Crosshair’s dark eyes. His thin lips tilted in a smug smile as he noticed.

“Looks like someone’s back.” He raised an eyebrow. “Well then. How about you cum for me, hmm?” a hint of amused indulgence laced his tone. “You want it Shiv, don’t you? To cum all over me like the cock-dumb kitten you are?”

You whined, the pressure around your throat grounding you just enough to keep you present. The pleasure kept flowing through your body like a steady, unrelenting stream, smothering you. You did want it. Wanted to please him.

He leaned closer, not letting up his pace as his hips continued to snap up into you. “Such a good kitten,” he murmured, “with my fingers wrapped around your pretty little throat. Cum for me, Shiv. Show me how good I make you feel.”

It drove you off the cliff. Your orgasm seemed to burst from inside you, rippling up through your veins, your limbs, arching your body. It sent a wave of white heat washing through you, leaving you weak and completely lax in its wake. A sob spilled weakly from your lips as you opened tear-filled eyes to focus on him through the pleasure.

Crosshair let go of your throat, his jaw clenching as he stared down at your face. His hips started to stutter, his chest heaving with breath.

Swallowing thickly, you reached up and traced the tattoo that ringed his eye and trailed down his cheek. “Please, Cross,” you murmured dreamily. “Please, cum inside me.”

His shoulders locked as he snapped his hips into you one last time. A low groan hissed between his gritted teeth as he came, still buried deep inside you.

The liquid heat pooled inside you, and your eyelashes fluttered with contentment.

Crosshair's breath washed over your ear. "You're ours, Shiv," he murmured, voice husky with the high.

"Yours," you repeated obediently, your fingers tangling in the front of his shirt. Sleepiness plucked heavily at your eyes, the aftermath of three sessions tugging insistently at your consciousness.

"Mmm, fresher first, kitten," Cross chided. His arms slid around you, lifting you up as he slid out of you.

You whined in protest, leaning against his shoulder, even though you knew he was right. Everything was too comfortable, the sleepiness heavy and warm.

"I'll take you to Wrecker's bunk once you're done. Clean up." Cross stayed unmovable, his voice dry as he set you down on your feet in front of the fresher.

But you still clung to his shirt for another moment, looking up at his angled face and dark eyes. A wistfulness flitted through you as you wished that you could stay with him for a little while longer. But you didn't want to ask, didn't want to bother him.

He raised an eyebrow, his hand on your waist steadying your weak legs. "Unless you want to start dripping everywhere, Shiv," he glanced pointedly down at you, "though I wouldn't complain." He smirked.

You swallowed, then looked down. "O-okay," you mumbled, shuffling into the fresher. Even as you sluggishly cleaned yourself though, you had to swallow back a few tears. You weren't entirely sure why, but something in you so desperately craved to be near Cross, to just receive some form of quiet reassurance from him through just a touch or word that he... he cared.

Shaking your head and smearing away the tears, you sucked in a steadying breath and walked back out of the fresher. You'd slowly lost some article of clothing to each of them along the way, so now all you had was the oversized T-shirt. Wobbling back out, you found yourself a bit startled to see Cross still standing there by the doorway, a toothpick clenched between his teeth.

He jacked himself off of the wall and approached you. Bending a little, he picked you up effortlessly and began walking down the hallway of the ship. Ducking into a room, he walked over to the bed.

Wrecker looked up in surprise. "Oh, Cross, Shiv." He grinned. His head tilted as he observed you. "You alright, Shiv?"

You nodded faintly, not trusting your voice not to break. Cross set you down on the bed, while Wrecker shifted over to make room. Then Cross rolled his eyes.

"Move, Wrecker."

"Alright, alright, I'm moving," Wrecker whined, shuffling to the back of his bunk. Lying down next to you, he reached out and gently pulled your back to his chest, wrapping his large arm around your waist. His warmth pressed up behind you, easing some of the pain that curled in your chest.

Then, to your surprise, Crosshair slid into the bunk in front of you. Wordlessly, eyes half-lidded, he scooted closer and ran his hand down your side.

Hesitantly, you squirmed closer, tangling your fingers in the chest of his shirt again. You could feel the warmth of his body under your fingertips, and you bit your lip and glanced up at him tentatively.

Something flickered through his eyes as he gazed down at you, his hand gripping your thigh. "Do I make you uncomfortable?"

Your eyes widened, and you immediately shook your head adamantly. "No!" you blurted, your face crumpling despite yourself. "No-" your voice cracked.

Cross sighed, his thumb stroking over your bare skin. "You seem hesitant around me."

Tears welled in your eyes. "No— I-I'm just never sure if... if I'm bothering you, and-" You sniffled, the ache in your chest deepening. "I—I look up to you so much, Cross," you confessed. "Every time you let me Transfer with you and- and I can be near you or with you, I... it makes me feel so safe. I just-" your shoulders hitched, "I want to make you happy, but I feel like... like I never know if it's okay to get close to you. I don't want to bother you..."

Crosshair pulled you closer, tucking your leg up over his hip so you fit against him like a puzzle piece. "You don't bother me, Shiv," he said, voice low. "We've all been... worried about you."

You nodded, pushing your face into his chest. You decided to take the risk and reached out over the Bond, asking for attention. The Bond lit with acknowledgement, more subdued than the others' but still undeniably there. Crosshair's attention was quietly intense, making up for its more subtle nature.

Shyly, you pushed across your feelings. The way you felt safe around him, the way you looked up to his stern concentration of his craft, his diligence in working, his attention to keeping his teammates safe. The way whenever his lithe fingers handled you, whether weapon or body, it soothed and comforted you regardless of what was happening. The way you wanted his approval, his attention.

Cheeks flushing, you peeked up at him from where you'd buried your face into his chest. A hint of a smile crossed his thin lips, and his dark eyes softened as they observed you.

Reaching up, he brushed his thumb across your cheek. "Good girl, cod'ika," he murmured.

Relief burst through you as he accepted your feelings. Even though all you felt over the Bond was a soft pulse of acknowledgement and a hint of pleased affection, it was more than enough. Cross didn't need to say much to make his point, and you realized better than before that every word he spoke to you was deliberate, honest. None of his words even in the heat of pleasure were idle or empty. You clung to the knowledge, soothed with the reassurance that Cross did care, in his own unique way.

"Thank you," you whispered shyly, knowing that he didn't have to reassure you. But he cared enough about you to listen, to answer.

Wrecker grumbled behind you, scooting forward so he pressed more tightly against your back. "Share a little, Cross," he groaned, "Shiv is soft and warm and I wanna feel."

Cross rolled his eyes, the moment broken. "Selfish."

"Hey!" Wrecker protested, leaning his chin against the top of your head. "You're the selfish one here-"

You giggled, tugging at Wrecker's hand to drape over both you and Crosshair. "Let me take a nap, Wrecker, and then I'll let you cuddle more," you promised. Letting out a wide yawn, you snuggled into both of them. "Love you," you murmured sleepily.

"Love you too, Shiv!" Wrecker squeezed you.

"Kar'taylir darasuum, cod'ika," Crosshair murmured in your ear.

You fell asleep to warmth, content.

Taglist:

@subbing-for-clones

@darkangel4121

@mo-i-ra

@dolphincommander

@alis-gore

@ladydiomede

@spp2011

@the-sad-batch

@anoushe01

@mavendeb

@cagrame

@makeup-n-turtles

@darkphoenix2332

@sunipostsstuff

@lady-aries

@gabile18

#Sword and shield #star wars #the bad batch #x reader #my writing #tech #wrecker #bad batch #clones #crosshair #Hunter #tbb #the bad batch x reader #sw tbb #tbb x you #Star Wars x reader #clone x reader #polyamourous #poly ship #x you #y/n #star wars x y/n

[hageny]

Succession Thoughts: Gerri x Roman

AN: The first point in this post was requested by @thinkingfixatingobsessing​, so credit goes to her for the idea. 

WARNING: Mentions of child sexual abuse in point one. 

1. What In Here is Real?

A lot of fans tie Roman’s ‘dog cage’ experience to his adult need for degradation, and certainly there is a valid reason. The murky circumstances surrounding the incident(s) in his childhood--Roman remembering being forced; Connor and Kendall remembering him liking it; Connor remembering what their father said about “two fighting dogs” in relation to the incident--make it difficult to say how much of what Roman remembers is real and how much is his emotions skewing his memories. What is totally overlooked is the scene above, which takes place in Austerlitz. The family has just arrived at Connor’s ranch for the not-so-optional family therapy session when Roman says something very interesting to Connor, telling him that he plans to tell Alon Parfit, the group’s therapist, that Connor molested him as a child. Given Roman’s ‘dog cage’ revelation only one episode later, it struck me as very interesting that Roman makes a joke about what is for many a deep, childhood trauma. Now, I should clarify, I don’t believe Connor in any way abused Roman, and it seems fairly obvious Roman was just doing this for shock value, but there is a point to be made here. It seems pertinent to ponder whether Roman’s ‘dog cage’ experience could tie into a deeper, darker truth in his childhood. Maybe it’s possible that Roman actually did go into the cage willingly, and to some degree submitted--as much as someone who is emotionally/mentally abused as a child can--to his siblings’ game. All of them being children themselves, they wouldn’t have had the insight and maturity to understand his behavior was abnormal. What we do know of Roman’s experience is that it caused him to start wetting the bed, and he was eventually sent away to St. Andrews; again, he thinks this occurred against his will, Connor says he went willingly. What is interesting his Roman’s description of the effects of the ‘dog cage’ incident closely aligns with what may happen to a child who is molested. As Roman puts it, “Kendall locked me in a cage, I went weird, I started wetting the bed, and that’s why dad sent me away to St. Andrews.” Now, I should be clear, I am not a mental health professional of any sort, so all of what I say here is gleaned through years of reading about crime stories and second-hand research, but re-watching this scene caused me to remember that when Jon Benet Ramsey was murdered, many wondered--and still do--whether it was possible she was molested as a child due to her still wetting the bed at the age of six. From what we can gather, Roman would have been probably around the same age, if not older, when the alleged ‘dog cage’ incident occurred; his mentions of ‘going weird’ could be his best way to articulate what could have been a mental breakdown suffered during his childhood. His parents, having no clue what to do with him, would have naturally sent him to a rigorous, regimented school that, they believed, could have righted his ‘abnormal’ behavior. There are many signs children can possibly exhibit as a result of sexual abuse, but a few of them struck me because they describe even Roman’s adult behavior:

Regressive behaviors or resuming behaviors they had grown out of, such as thumb-sucking or bedwetting

Overly compliant behavior

Decrease in confidence or self-image

Change in mood or personality, such as increased aggression

We notice Roman’s lack of confidence constantly over the course of the series. In Sad Sack Wasp Trap, we see him studying his body carefully in the mirror, obviously displeased with what he sees, and then quickly buttoning up his shirt when Grace enters. As an adult there’s no question that he is--around his father, especially--overly compliant, going along with what Logan says and most of the time unwilling to buck him. While Roman is certainly not aggressive in the sense of being a danger to others, we do notice that his temperament borders on the aggressive quite a lot of the time, and he has a sadistic side, taking pleasure in tormenting others for his own amusement. We also know that the infamous Lester McClintock--Mo-Lester--was a friend of Logan’s; while it’s not stated that he abused any children, if he was a family friend, there is a possibility he was around Roman as a child. Connor, in Safe Room, does tell Willa that Logan wouldn’t let his kids get in the pool with Lester, so the possibility of his being a pedophile is there. Maybe the abuser was someone else. Maybe Roman wasn’t abused at all and I’m way off base. But I bring the point up for discussion only because as I pondered it, I myself began to wonder. 

2. Patrick Bateman

SPOILER ALERT: The ending to the movie, American Psycho. is discussed below. 

In I Went to Market, Shiv makes a quip when Roman tells her he has a hobby, saying to him, “Killing hobos isn’t a hobby.” Anyone old enough to remember--or old enough to have watched American Psycho or read the book--will remember that Patrick Bateman, the novel’s famous protagonist, descends slowly into violence as his disgust for society deepens, and begins literally killing homeless people on the streets of New York City, using homicide as an outlet for his uncontrollable rage. For the sake of convenience, I will discuss the movie a bit here, as I read the book years ago and do not remember much. The end of the movie is open to interpretation, leaving the audience to decide whether Bateman did actually kill anyone and it was cleaned up for him because he was wealthy, or whether he simply fever-dreamed the experiences. It’s interesting that the show draws a tie to Patrick Bateman and Roman, but having considered Bateman’s behavior there are some similarities. Roman, like Bateman, has a total disregard for the lower class, no more openly displayed than in the pilot episode where he tears up the check in front of the little boy at his family’s baseball game. He also, as noted in the previous point, has a temper, sometimes flying quickly off the handle when things don’t go his way. He is tightly wound, constantly agitated by the world around him, and driven by impulse. Where Bateman’s impulses lead him to murder, Roman’s take a different path, leading him to push the envelope of appropriate behavior for shock value, or drop and pick up girlfriends like objects. While Roman certainly would never kill anyone in a literal sense, he is not afraid to destroy those beneath him without a second thought, obliterating Vaulter simply because he wants to, manipulating the staff into admitting they want to unionize--which  might’ve saved them--and then handing his information over to his father so as to leverage himself and his desire to shut Vaulter down over Kendall’s desire to keep it open. The point is is that the show, by drawing a link between these two characters, could perhaps be suggesting to the audience that Roman’s behavior, like Bateman’s, requires an understanding of nuance. Bret Easton Ellis, who wrote the novel, grew up in an environment similar to Roman’s, coming from a wealthy family, deriving much of his literary material from what he witnessed as a child and an adult. It could perhaps best be said that both characters are a study in how environments shape people: what they bring out in them, and what they create that, for better or worse, can be left to bubble just below the surface. 

3. Only Good?

This point will be fairly brief, but I did find it pertinent to comment on how many people in the fandom--maybe younger people who don’t understand the show’s nuances--seem content to constantly cast Gerri as an artless bystander to the cruises situation when this is simply not the case. It could be that some don’t recall, but in the above scene from Pre-Nuptial, Shiv demands that ATN lay off Gil Eavis by blackmailing Gerri, telling her that if she doesn’t get her way that she will blow the lid on the scandal that centers around Lester McClintock. What’s most important is the fact that when Shiv mentions the “cruise division horror show”, Gerri never asks for clarification regarding Shiv’s point. This, obviously, is because Gerri doesn’t need it. While I am not suggesting Gerri knew all along about the scandal, her lack of need for Shiv to clarify what she means by “the cover-up” is an indicator that Gerri not only knew what was going on before the audience did, but perhaps also had a hand in hiding what was happening. There could be many reasons she did so, but I felt compelled to make this point because so often people believe Gerri was caught off-guard by what was occurring at Brightstar, when in fact our introduction to her in the show was intended to serve as an indicator of her character. The phrase, “stone-cold killer bitch”, used flirtatiously by Roman, was not only intended to amuse, but also to give insight into her character. In order to survive and thrive in Waystar, Gerri would have had to have been anything but an artless child, and her reputation as a ‘stone-cold killer’ is apt, as it describes the sort of character a person generally has to take on in order to climb the ranks of the corporate world. Gerri’s panic as the cruises situation unfolds is not due to the nature of the incidences (nor is Shiv’s for that matter)--it is due to the panic she feels at having to take the fall for what occurred. What actually happened, the facts of it, don’t really bother her. That’s what makes a killer. 

#gerri/roman #gerri x roman #gerri kellman #roman roy #succession #succession hbo #hbo succession #succession thoughts

[gallavictorious]

Outsider POV Gallavich Fic: Captive Look

For a while there this spring, I was mildly obsessed with the CO in 10x03: you know, the good-looking guy who seems so completely unfazed by finding two armed inmates stabbing an old man, and then for whatever reason doesn't report it? (He can't have; Ian's parole wouldn't have happened so soon after something like that.) I also really dig his beard... Anyway, IMDB identifies him as Raymond and I've had this short little piece about him and his interactions with two certain dumbasses sitting almost finished in my draft doc for months and months and months, so... you're welcome? 2882 words, to help pass the time until the new episode!

You can read it below or on AO3.

---

It's half past eight on a Thursday when Raymond catches sight of them across the bar at South Side Social. He’s there to celebrate his baby sister’s birthday, familial obligation overriding personal preference, but after an hour of politely chatting with her increasingly wasted college friends over obnoxiously rustic-only-because-it’s-trendy food, he’s ready for a break. Catching Tina’s eye, he mimes lightening a cigarette; she raises an eyebrow at him and smirks. She’s a clever kid, his sister – the first in their family to go to college – and she knows him only too well. Knows, for instance, that he gave up smoking years and years ago.

Offering her a rueful grin, he gets up and gets out and spends the next few minutes breathing in Chicago’s poisonous evening air. It’s December, but unusually warm for the season, and somewhere underneath the dusty stink of exhaust fumes and concrete there’s a faint trace of melting snow.

On the way back to the table Raymond stops at the bar to order another beer, and that’s when he spots them, just three feet away. Two men in their mid-twenties, casually dressed and apparently in the middle of a not-very-serious argument, complete with waving hands and mock-scoffs. It takes a moment for the vague feeling of familiarity to click into actual recognition, and when it's does it's not so much their faces as the way they pause to look at each other.

It's not the sort of look you see a lot, especially not in prison.

So, well, he’ll be damned. It’s Milkovich and Gallagher. Cellmates, lovers, and occasionally a goddamn pain in his ass. Released, as improbable as it sounded, within days of each other less than half a year ago, and now laughing over drinks in a half-way decent restaurant in downtown Chicago. It’s not the sort of place he’d expected to find them in – but then again, there’d been a lot of unexpected things about that pair.

Not them hooking up, necessarily, not once they’d ended up sharing a cell; trading sexual favors for protection (whether voluntarily or not) was common enough. Frowned upon in theory, of course, but in practice –

Well. You didn’t have to like it, but it was what it was. Idealism didn’t survive long at Beckham. Raymond himself had never harbored any grand notions about the redemptive potential of his work, but he’d seen his fair share of fresh-faced new CO:s have their illusions crushed after a week or two caught between the often violent offenders who despised them, the indifferent malice of many seasoned CO:s, and the stifling drudgery of the American penal system in general. Not Raymond, though: he did his job, did it well, and went home and didn't spend waste moment of thought on it. You did what you needed to do to pay the bills; no need to dwell on it.

So no, Gallager getting in bed, quite literally, with Milkovich hadn’t been a surprise. The nature of their relationship, though...

Sure, it wasn’t unheard of for inmates to fall for one another, or for established couples to end up in prison together. Didn’t happen a lot, and actual homosexuality was still more likely to get you beat up than laid, but yeah, it did happen. What, in Raymond’s experience, never happened was having to people look at each other the way Milkovich and Gallagher sometimes did, whenever they thought no one else was watching: there was a kind of wonder to it, both staring at the other like they’ve been handed a goddamn gift and couldn’t quite believe their luck.

Particularly on Milkovich’s face the look was baffling.

Ever since the young man arrived at Beckamn he'd moved down the gray corridors and among the yellow-clad crowds like a man born to it. Raymond supposed he was; his father Terry had spent much of his adult life in the very same prison, as had a great many brothers, cousins and assorted associates. Though Raymond didn't know any details, and didn't really care to know them, he'd bet dollars to donuts that Mickey Milkovich's criminal career had had both an early start and a sense of inevitability to it. Various stints in juvie, followed by a real prison sentence for... attempted murder, wasn't it?... followed by a widely publicized jailbreak and an eventual and far less publicized return to Beckman.

Milkovich was tough enough to make others back down when he had to but smart enough not to start any unnecessary fights, not with the other inmates and not with the ones set to watch over them. Knew how to work the system, too: how to get things in, get things done, which guards could be bribed. Raymond didn't play that game himself, but he wasn't getting paid enough not to turn a blind eye when others do. And Milkovich had been pretty smooth about it, especially since his return; careful not to cause a stir.

Gallagher, on the other hand... He'd been the kind of inmate Raymond would've been seriously worried for, had he been inclined to worry and had Milkovich not been there to watch his back and show him the ropes. Not because Gallagher struck Raymond as even remotely helpless, but he so very obviously did not belong in prison, and so very obviously did not really have a clue about what was what in here. The nastier inmates would have eaten him alive long before he'd had the chance to navigate the intricacies of prison politics and find the friends needed for protection. He'd have ended up someone's bitch, or ended up in the infirmary, or dead.

But he'd ended up with Milkovich, and as unlikely as it had seemed at the time, that had worked out. (There were moments when Raymond wondered about that, wondered about them: apart from the looks, there were little touches, too, casual things that spoke of a familiarity far beyond what they could possibly have developed in their short time in a shared cell.)

That wasn't to say that their relationship had been all rainbows and lollipops, and it sure as hell hadn't been fun for everybody. They’d driven half the cellblock insane sometimes, as well as occasionally one another. Other prisoners had complained about their bickering and their fucking (though never officially complained, because you didn't, not unless you wanted to go looking for your teeth in the shower drain), and Raymond recalled vividly the time when not one but both of them had gotten roped into Chester Russom’s endless quest to spend the rest of his life behind bars –

He'd been passing by the infirmary when he'd heard the screaming and come running. Hadn't been surprised, exactly, to find what he found, but that didn't lessen the urge to smack both Milkovich and Gallagher on the head for being so damned stupid.

Neither of them had seemed particularly concerned about getting caught stabbing another inmate. In fact, they'd fallen over themselves to take the blame, which Raymond might have taken as an unselfish attempt to save the other – if he'd been a complete idiot and if the two of them hadn't been sniping at each other all the way from the infirmary, to the point where he felt like his head would explode.

“Imma murder you two if you don't stop talking,” he said, glaring at them as they sat chained outside the small office. Thankfully, they did stop, looking neither at him nor at each other.

Raymond waited for a moment, deliberating.

“What did Chester promise you?” he eventually asked. Gallagher might have agreed to help the old man out of the goodness of his heart, but Milkovich sure as hell hadn't.

Neither man answered. They were studiously avoiding looking at each other.

“You're not going anywhere until you tell me,” Raymond warned them. “If I have to leave your sorry asses chained to this bench all night that's no skin off my back.”

“We needed a break,” Gallagher offered eventually, reluctantly. Milkovich gave a little snort at that, but – wisely – kept his mouth shut. “So we thought that if one of us got sent to solitary... “ He trailed off, shrugging half-heartedly.

Oh, for the love of God - ! “Why did both of you have to stab him if the goal was to get one of you to solitary?”

Again, there was a protracted silence, and somewhere in it – in their earlier insistence that each of them had been the first to stick the shiv into Chester – Raymond could just about make out the shape of it.

“You are both idiots,” he said, moving to uncuff them from the bench, making a decision. “Come on, let's go.”

“Wait,” Gallagher said, not rising. “You're not reporting us? What about solitary?””

“You don't get a damn reward for stabbing someone, so no, you're not going into solitary, you're going straight back to your cell – where you will hand over all contraband you've hidden there.”

“Now, wait a minute – “ Milkovich began, but he faltered when Raymond fixed him with a hard stare.

Raymond had no illusions about intimidating this particular inmate, but Milkovich really did know how this worked; knew better than to ever be friendly with a guard, not even the ones he bribed – but knew when not to push too.

He had kept their hands cuffed for the walk back to the cell, which was policy, but was him making a point too. While there were extenuating circumstances – primarily the fact that Chester had asked them to stab him – by all rights they should be going down for this, and Raymond wasn’t one hundred percent sure why he wasn't letting them. Save himself the paperwork? Yeah, sure. Why not? As good a reason as any.

“Now, am I going to have to search the cell or will you give it up voluntarily?” he asked once they'd made it to the cell. “You make me look, I won't be too careful with your shit.”

A lot of the guards would be deliberately careless when they tossd a cell, either to prove a point or just for the hell of it. Raymond usually didn't bother with that sort of power trip bullshit, but he was prepared to make an exception if these morons proved stupid enough to give him any more trouble. He was already cutting them considerable slack here, and neither of them have the brains to appreciate it.

They had shared a look, and then Milkovich gave an imperceptible nod. Without a word they set to bring forth an array of cigarettes and foodstuff, little things that would have been commonplace and unremarkable in the real world but was made precious by its scarcity on the inside.

Raymond wasn't naive enough to believe they actually gave him everything they'd got in there, but enough of it to inconvenience them, which would have to do. He grabbed the the items, then fixed them both with a firm look.

“Either of you cause me any more trouble, I'm taking your books,” – he pointed to Gallager, then to Milkovich – “and your pens and paper. You think you have it bad now? Imagine sharing a cell and having nothing else to occupy you.”

He had hoped to God he wouldn't have to make good on his threat, though. The other prisoners would probably riot if they have to put up with more of ´bickering from these two.

“I catch either of you with a shiv again, you'll be fucking sorry,” he continued. “Talk it out, or agree not to talk, or whatever. Split the cell into his and his, I don't give a damn. But sort your shit out.”

Maybe they had, maybe they hadn't; the point became moot just a few weeks later, when Gallagher was released. Milkovich had soon followed him – and how exactly that had happened, Raymond still didn't know, because there was no way in hell anyone actually thought releasing that one back into society was a great move – and that had been that. For now, at least; he fully expected to see Milkovich again. Guy like that wasn't going to quit, and sooner or later he'd get caught and find himself back behind bars. Rinse repeat, until he got himself killed or locked away for good.

Only now here Milkovich is, but in front of a bar rather than behind them, and with Gallagher right by his side, laughing like they'd never stabbed a man just to get away from each other.

Raymond hesitates. There's some small part of him that actually wants to step up and say hello, and that throws him a little. He's got a rule about never getting emotionally invested in the fates of the inmates; that way lies nothing but heartbreak, because most of those who find themselves at Beckman will find themselves there again and again, for longer and longer. Don't abuse the prisoners, but don't care too much either: it's been Raymond's private policy for the past five years, and it's worked out so far.

Except now he's actually considering chatting with a couple of convicts, just 'cause he really is a little bit curious about how this unlikely pair is doing.

But nah. Forget it. His rule aside, it'd be pretty uncool to intrude on their evening out. They're free men now – kind of – and having a CO check up on them can't be high on their list of wants. But before he can move away, they both look his way; sees him. Recognizes him, too, from the way they freeze.

Okay. Call it fate, then. “Hello,” Raymond says, going for neutral good and a little nod; I come in peace.

A beat. Milkovich is eyeing him with a wariness he doesn't bother to conceal and it's Gallagher who speaks first:

“Officer Reese,” he says, managing a polite smile. “Hi.”

Raymond notices the way they glance down at the beers they technically shouldn't be having.

“I'm not your PO,” he assures them. “I don't give a damn if you drink. Might want to take it easy, though,” he can’t help but add. “Getting shitfaced is a quick way to get into trouble.”

Milkovich opens his mouth, but after a quick glare from Gallagher he closes it again. Probably for the best; Raymond can’t imagine him playing even remotely nice now that he doesn’t have to.

“Didn’t mean to interrupt your evening,” he says. “Looks like you’re doing all right.”

“Yeah, yeah, we've got jobs and... “ Gallagher pauses to glance at Milkovich again, as if asking his permission. Milkovich rolls his eyes but says nothing, and Gallagher turns his gaze back to Raymond. There's a real smile on his face now, small, but filled with something akin to disbelieving delight: “We got married. Couple of weeks ago.”

“Oh, wow. Congratulations.” Raymond isn’t quite sure what surprises him more: the fact of their marriage, or the fact that he is genuinely happy for them. Maybe he’s getting soft in his old age… Or maybe it’s just that there’s so very few happy endings for those who find themselves at Beckman, whether as inmates or as guards, that they need to be treasured whenever you find them.

“Ian!” someone calls across the room, and Gallagher turns his head to look at a blonde woman gesturing wildly. “Where are those drinks?”

“Shit,” Gallagher mutters. “Better get this to Tami before she has a fit.”

Another smile, and Gallagher is gone. Milkovich, however, lingers, seemingly debating whether to say something more. Curious against his will, Raymond does his best to look approachable. Evidently, it works, because Milkovich clears his throat:

“You’d reported us when we stabbed that old fucker in the infirmary, Ian wouldn’t have gotten his release.” He pauses, looking uncomfortable, then forces out: “Appreciate it.”

Raymond merely nods. Maybe he should say something about being glad taking a chance on them had paid off, that he is glad to see them doing well – but he’s pretty sure Milkovich wouldn’t much appreciate the sentiment.

“Your boy doesn’t belong in prison,” he says instead.

Milkovich face immediately collapses into a scowl. “Well, I didn't fucking put him there,” he growls.

But Raymond isn’t intimated; just hold his gaze. “Gonna keep him out of trouble then?” Gonna stay out of trouble, he doesn’t ask, but Milkovich isn’t stupid, so he'll hear it all the same.

Milkovich still glares, but something in his eyes seem to soften ever so slightly. “You betcha. Won’t have anything on us ever again,” he promises ambiguously, with a cocky grin and one eyebrow raised.

When he walks away, swagger in every step, he is every bit the unrepentant gangster – but Raymond keeps his eyes on him and sees the way he relaxes as soon as he stops next to Gallagher. Reaches out to touch him lightly on the arm, catching his eye. That same wondering smile on both of their faces.

Raymond thinks that maybe he won't actually see either of them again.

He is glad of it.

#gallavich #fic #my stuff

[kacychase]

After the reawakening [NevraxMC]

[Commentary (the same as in the other posts): Please understand that all of this has my heart inserted into this after paying too much for a game dear to me, yet disappointing. Beemov, I hate to bother you as it seems to be a waste of time, but please… Listen to your readers, at least to the demographic you aim for and their constructive criticism. Your game has so much potential, it could be so much more, and it breaks my heart that it’s not. Please, for our sake… We have been loyal to you for so long. This fanfic is here because I loved the original story and characters – with its flaws all included, and ultimately, we love your characters (at least the original), and just want a game that gives them justice, that doesn’t make us feel used more so than enjoying a story]

Warnings: cheesy, so damn cheesy, level of extra layers of cheese, ALSO CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR BOTH ORIGINS AND NEW ERA SEASONS

Works: Ezarel | Nevra (this one) | Valkyon | Leiftan (Valkyon and Leiftan in the works)

When I chose you

It felt right.

The way you held me tight,

The way you would brighten

Up my day would

Bring sparkles in your eyes

That I wouldn’t be able to forget.

When things went south,

When people silenced my mouth,

When you let me down,

It took my time to count on you again.

Yet, here I stand, in your arms,

In your scent and your comfort,

In your loving embrace, forever.

Crystal or not, you were an ever-lasting

believer in me when I was in need.

Who could blame you for leaving,

for your sacrifice or getting

Over me?

In the end, I love you, still,

And whether you come back or not,

All of the memories, the emotions

Will never escape them,

Even if Mnemosyne’s spell

Would compel me to do so.

Nothing would make me get over you.

Nothing would make me want to lose you again.

My sacrifice should not be in vain,

And your happiness is what I need to

See as best for you.

Yet… Just so you know,

I love you still, and have not forgotten.

[Nevra]

You are so close to me, so incredibly close. Why must it have been 7 years ever since we have been a couple for you? I don’t even want to imagine my favorite, caring vampire must have gone through. Ever since my soul left my body... I swore to myself to keep you in the back of my mind, to at least try and fight to get out.

But maybe, I’m too late.

This will only result in me approaching him I assume. I can already feel the excitement bubbling up, countering the shock of the whole experience.

As I lay on the bed inside the infirmary, my thoughts seem to spiral by themselves. “How are you dealing with all of this?” I hear Ewelein’s concerned voice reach me, and I look at her with an appreciative look. Just like an olde sister, she examines me with a gaze that makes me shudder in guilt and heartache - she didn’t think that I were to ever come back.

“It’s so stange to see everything so different now that I woke up. The last thing I remember has been seven years ago for you,” I mutter, a little chill running down my spine again, and I look down. “But I’m glad that you’re all alive. The sacrifice was worth it.” Gathering the last amounts of strength, I smile at her in a way that I can’t describe. If I were to compare it to a graspable situation, it would be that I slept in a coma for 7 years.

“I can’t wait to see everyone who’s here again,” I mumble, and Huang Hua, sitting next to us and holding Ewelein’s hand, beams one of her enthusiastic smiles at me. “I can imagine. Chrome, Karenn and Karuto surely would love to see you! I also have to introduce you to the rest of the guard!” Hearing the second part of the sentence, for some reason, I feel a twist in my gut.

How could I get used to seeing the new parts of the guard right now? Currently, I’m still not entirely ready to confront reality yet. Looking at Huang Hua, she must have noticed my expression as she says: “... But maybe, we should take one step at a time. How about the two of us take a walk?” I nod with a relieved smile, looking at Ewelein, I can see a look of adoration towards Huang Hua.

They for sure make a cute couple: “Thanks. Ewe must be busy anyway,” I grin back and remark: “Congratulations to the two of you. I was rooting for you!” The two of them start laughing, and Ewe gives me a smack on the forearm.

“Ow!”

“We weren’t even an item back then! But I’m glad you didn’t tell anyone, everyone seemed surprised,” Ewe half scolds me, half thanks me for being a reliable best friend. Why of course, both of them should know by now, which I don’t refrain from telling them. However, before any of them can respond, a new infirmary worker calls Ewelein for help. With that, the three of us separate, not without me receiving a reprimanding to please pay a visit again this evening from my favorite nurse.

Looking at Huang Hua with a brow up, she nods to guide me to the hall, and once we are out, she suddenly pulls out a dark robe. “I have to tell you a few things before we take the round. Would you please wear this?”

And so, the round begins. Feeling the change and prosperity around the guads, all the exterior seems so lively - the parks, the refugium, the place of the cherry tree... Where Valkyon’s presence would probably rest if he could. Huang Hua explains it all to me - Ezarel and Nevra would be informed to gather in the crystal room immediately. Although Ezarel is rather hard to catch as he only is part-time assisting to the guard, Nevra should be here tonight... She explains to me the unnerving fact that Leiftan and I are the ones who have been gone into history books with our second sacrifice. It feels so strange how none of the ones still alive - or in Valkyon’s case, sacrificed as well - would never receive any credit. How is that any fair to the ones surviving the whole ordeal?

Disturbed of the two statues, I can’t help but sigh. “The two of you do look quite beautiful in these, don’t you think?” Huang Hua tries to lift the situation. But seeing how everything is so different, I can only nod. Suddenly, the pictures of the war that, only to me, seems to be fresh in my mind. Having realized that I won’t see quite a few of my friends anymore, at least I can assure that the rest of them are safe and sound with the life path they chose.

But, the two men that I consider closest family... I wish I could see them right now, especially a specific black-haired vampire that I fell for, seemingly 7 years ago. What has become of this place?

“He’s going to be back from a mission this evening. Until then, I will make an official announcement for the ones you’d surely want to reunite with. I will inform the other members of the light guard, too. That way, you can get to know them! Not until you’ve seen some familiar faces... Surely, that will help you into the situation,” she mumbles thoughtfully, and I’m eternally grateful for that. I can’t wait to see Nevra and hear him talk about what has happened. All I am are questions... But what I want to do, to tell him, to do with him is endless.

Now that I have awakened and been given the chance to live, I won’t let it slide. I just have to do it. Sure, it’s interesting to see what the new people are like, how the guard works, how I might help them... But I need to check on the person important to me.

What he might be like? Would he like seeing me? How has he been doing the past years? Well, I hope... But how should he be? The last thing I saw was how Ezarel left the guard not long after, adding Miiko and Kero. And, ultimately, he was left alone with the responsibility of the shadow guard, taking care of Krenn and Chrome in his own ways, and so much more...

Goodness. How much I want to show him my support right now... My heart itches to see him.

When Huang Hua is nice enough to grant me access to my old bedroom - which has been renovated in a surprisingly flashy way - I just try to get into my bed. Man, this is a lot to digest, but the rest I have taken makes me question whether I am supposed to do something while waiting. Huang Hua has informed me that people view Leiftan and me as holy figures, so should I risk a walk? Thinking of seeing my loved ones this evening, I realize that the time can’t come any sooner.

But realizing that I need to at least eat, I quickly rush to the cantine, trying to at least see how Karuto is doing. Sneaking a peak into how full the cantine, I can already see him serving the other people amazing dishes. Wow, and his clothing looks far more sophisticated! Thinking that Feng Zifu is around, I let out a small chuckle.

But peaking around like this, I don’t only see that this cantine is incredibly full, but that the two people who found me today are sitting there. As open-minded and curious as I might be, I realize that I don’t want to explain myself now, when I can’t even explain it myself. Quietly, I thank Huang Hua for informing Ez and Nev first.

But when I turn around to ask Ewe, Chrome or Karenn to order for me, I notice someone entering the hall. Something twists itself in my gut as I see him. My beautiful, now a little aged vampire no longer sports his eyepatch, and I’m glad that he doesn’t - he seems to have realized that he doesn’t need it. He looks so different, yet in his own way - his hair is now more mid-part, a little longer, his clothing still has purple, black and red accents, yet leave more of his physique to the imagination. But, and ultimately the source of my sickly feeling, I see him flirting with a girl - a beautiful woman I have never seen before.

He seems to have moved on, it seems.

Shocked, yet not entirely surprised, he and his date advance towards me, but I can’t move. For me, the whole scene is like a world crumbling in front of me... At least, that’s how my heart feels. Nevra unavoidably bumps into me.

“Hey, watch where you’re going.”

I wouldn’t have expected those to be the first words he has for me. But hey, they don’t count when he doesn’t know, right?

Knowing that it wouldn’t be fair to drop the information when it has been seven years, I just mumble, a shivery tone in my voice: “Sorry.”

Not even trying to turn around, I decidedly hurry out of the caféteria, hoping to find Ewe for the growling of my stomach before heading to my room.

~~~~~~~~~~~--------------~°~--------------~~~~~~~~~~~

Hours later, I am too exhausted to actually consider things well. Sorting my thoughts while laying on my bed, restlessly, I thought that I should probably read throught the information of the libary once I’m officially registered.

I’ve been lucky that Karenn and Chrome have caught me on my way out of the storage room, and ever since, they gave me a very secret update of their own - including their long relationship. They really are cute together, and I’m glad that they will accompany me to the meeting today - apparently not in the crystal room anymore.

It’s still an hour to go though, so I realize that I might as well visit the crystal room. Maybe, if I focused, I would get answers?

Noticing that I might as well find my alone time there, I leave the cloak in my room, taking the risk to finally be able to breathe. Once I enter the room, I take in all the changes of this place. It’s eerie to look at the thing I have spent my time in for years. Occasionally, I have seen people visit Leiftan and me, mostly to talk to me and address the crystal. It has been gut-wrenching, but I notice that these things stopped when I fell asleep...

Deep in thoughts, I approach the crystal, putting a hand softly on the big shard, once broken in the disastrous war. Knowing that I made the right decision soothes me, and the fact that my loved ones, this world, all of the people I have met survived it and could live in peace for years brings tears to my eyes. We made it. All of us together managed to save the world.

At this point, should I be mad at Nevra for moving on? I love him, my heart still aches, and of course, I shouldn’t assume the situation before communicating with him about the issue. But... I have realized that I went into this whole ordeal without considering how he must have felt, how much time he has spent without me... Taking a deep breath, all I can do is stand next to the crystal, the presence of it soothing me in an odd way. Now, without it, I can finally move, face the world, and not be imprisoned by it’s limitations anymore. So why am I scared now? What is supposed to halt me so much in my tracks?

“Gardienne?! Y-you’re alive?”

That voice. For a second I thought I must have imagined it as I have not heard any steps coming. But who am I kidding? Nevra is the head of the Shadow Guard - or at least, he used to be. My stomach seems to have solidified into stone by it’s heaviness as I turn around and see the same frame I have seen earlier today. The fact that he’s alone relieves me a little.

“I woke up today. Hey, Nevra,” I smile at him, but it must have looked as his shocked expression now shows worry. His eyes get bigger as he agonizingly slowly makes his steps towards me. I hear him absentmindedly mutter about Huang Hua and the meeting - he might not have known what it is about.

“Have I bumped into you today?” he asked again, his voice trembling just as much as mine as he comes to halt a meter away from me. He’s hitting the nail in the head as I take a breath and nod.

Just then, his face hardens, as if he doesn’t know what to do. I ache for his hug, for him saying that none of the things I’ve seen today are true. How much I wish for all of this to be a bad dream I can’t measure, but all about his behavior tells me enough. This is no time for wishing impossible things, a thing I have learned early in this world.

“It’s okay, Nevra. I won’t pressure you, it’s been y-years after all,” I mumble when all of a sudden, a lump builds up in my throat. This is no time to break down! I’m in no position to fault him for today!

“Yes,” he utters under his breath, then exhaling as he ruffles his hair with his hand, “I’m sorry that you had to see that first. I wish I could have told you before.” I hate the fact that my eyes appear glassy now. After all that I have experienced, THIS is what makes me weak? Keep your cool, woman.

“Again, it’s fine. You wouldn’t have expected to see me back there. But... how did you know it was me?” I just ask him to change the topic, I don’t want to dwell on the thought that my only love has moved on from me with other people, might do things that we have done for a longer time than necessary.

“I-I just knew. It was your voice, Gardienne. I felt it when I bumped into you. I am sorry for treating you the way I did today,” Nevra rambles while looking at his feet. It still feels painfully distant between us. Trying to approach him, I take my arm from the crystal and approach him. “It’s okay.”

That way, we stand in front of each other, taking in the silence. He doesn’t approach me, and I don’t know if I can.

“It’s been seven years since I left. I can’t fault you for moving on. I-I guess it doesn’t quite go into my head,” I admit silently, smiling sadly at him. His face appears bitter when I say that, as if something doesn’t sit right with him. Laying a hand on my shoulder, I see him take in a shaky breath.

Mumbling something I can’t quite understand, I don’t have enough time to ask him what it was as he continues, his voice now up in volume: “I’m glad you’re alive.”

That sentence is weird as I tilt my head at him. I wish I could just say ‘I’m also glad you’re alive?’ but I know that it doesn’t help the situation a lot.

“Are you okay, Nevra?”

Looking at him in more detail, I can see how deep his circles under his eyes go. Does he get enough sleep? And he doesn’t smile remotely as much as he used to. With that, my heart squeezes even more.

“Well, how am I supposed to react to someone who I have thought to be-” his voice cracks up, as if restraining himself to say the word, “to never come back. And here you are, all of a sudden, looking as if nothing happened between the war and now. A lot has changed Gardienne. I have changed. The H.Q. changed!” His words cut deep, and I don’t know how to react to them.

But it is clear that this is all real, and I can feel how my feet are too heavy to carry me. Sitting myself to the steps that thank goodness, they have kept inside the crystal room, I sigh deeply. Yet, I find the strength to turn around to him.

“Then... can we maybe catch up? I...,” gathering my words is harder than I thought, “I wish I could have been there, but I want to see what happened around here.”

His dark eyes muster me, one of them I know to be blind. Looking at it, I wonder how Shai’tan is doing. I smile at the thought of possibly meeting her again, trying to avoid thinking about the fate of my own companion.

He hesitantly puts a hand on his scarred part of his face, catching my stare. Do I see a blush on his cheeks?

“I don’t know, Gardienne,” he says, using my full name, “I have to get used to seeing you around. I...” He breaks off his thought process as he presses his lips together. He’s shivering.

Suddenly, I realize how hurt his eyes look, how much he’s frozen in place. This is definitely hard for him. I don’t want him to relive things how they were. It’s like a switch flipped, and I understand - I remind him of the things that happened. It’s no more me that he sees, he sees the war and the hard times after it.

“I mourned you. I am seeing that damn statue of you next to the cherry tree next to this traitor’s figure all the time,” he starts, and it feels like he’s breaking down. Holy crap. What am I supposed to do?? My whole body aches to hug him, to ease his burden. But will I worsen things?

“I tried to wait for you, to tell myself that you’d need me when you’re back. I tried to be there, I visited your place every day in the first months. Then... the chances became lower and lower. I thought that you were lost forever,” Nevra explains with a shivering voice, his eyes tearing up.

This is enough. Nobody makes the man I love hurt like this. Was this how he felt after the potion of Mnemosyne endeavor rolled along?

Quickly, I stand up from the steps and erase the space between us, my arms finding their way around him immediately. To my shock, his arms just press me against him even harder - it feels like he holds something fragile that might be gone.

“I-I found my different ways to cope. I couldn’t stand being lonely, not getting over you. Those women would help me forget you, even if it’s just for a little while-” With his whiny voice, I know that I should ignore the pang in my chest.

“All of this shit is cruel. To you, to me, to Valkyon, to Ezarel,” he whispers with bitterness. And it is the rage I can understand - I would have felt it too. All of this being seven years ago, I wonder how he must have felt to keep these emotions deep inside him.

For a solid few silent minutes, both of us just standing there, when tears also come out of my eyes. It’s indescribable what is happening. All of the emotions, no matter how long, eat us up. The war, our separation, the past seven years have taken a toll on us in a way. Nobody would be able to understand this moment, and I don’t plan to have this be a matter of discussion. We are here for each other, and I silently rest one of my hands in his hair.

Man, as much as I’m crying, I have missed him, his arms around me, us together. Out of impulse, I whisper, even if I don’t know if it’s true: “I’m here now. And I will do everything to stay with you for a while.”

When we head to the crystal room, we decide not to speak of it. I will give him time to process, but I have hope in us. We can get through it, and I will be there for him all the way - and I have no doubt that he will be there for me, too.

#eldarya #eldaryafanfic #eldaryafanfiction #nevra #nevranewera

[jq37]

The Royal Report– A Crown of Candy Ep 11 In the Mountains of Sweetness

Requiem 

The Rocks family is on the run but they’re also in mourning. As they sail up the Cola River, they stop to do repairs to the ship and pay their respects to Jet at a bright pink hill under a tree--her final resting place.

The remaining kids are in opposite worlds emotionally speaking--Liam is fully sobbing (which we find out later is largely him still being messed up over Preston) while Ruby is hollow and bitter. Amethar (after almost murdering a Jellybean farmer with poor timing who wanders onto the scene) eulogizes about how much Jet taught all of them (including that “to defeat monsters you must become one” which mmm don’t love where his head is at; also, Brennan says he seems to almost have this new sobriety which I think, mechanically, is him having taken a level of Battlemaster Fighter). 

Cara, also a wreck as you’d expect, wonders if Jet died thinking she didn’t love her and wishes Jet would have just listened to her--something that Ruby takes as blaming Jet for her own death, causing her to stalk off. Cara is too in her grief to really react but Theo goes after her. As he does, Cumulous notices that, for a split second, Ruby’s shadow seemed to be out of sync with her actions. But only for a second. 

When Theo catches up to her, Ruby gets really upset and says that she blames her parents, Lazuli, and herself for Jet’s death. Theo says that Jet wouldn’t have blamed her and that she died in battle, like she wanted. Even still, Ruby doesn’t know how she’s going to go on without her. Theo says that he takes comfort in Lazuli’s research and the thought that Jet might not be truly gone. She could be around and protecting them right now. “She was always protecting us,” Ruby says before mind-hopping into Yak and flying above the ship so she doesn’t have to deal with her emotions for the moment.

Once she’s gone, Theo breaks down for a second and then summons Sprinkle...to dismiss him. He tells Sprinkle he’s done a great job but he needs to go back where he came from and have Jet send a new familiar as a sign. Sprinkle tearfully leaves and, almost immediately (which is not how the spell traditionally works btw) a Black Licorice viper shows up which Theo names Princess and which bites him for no reason. Feels right.

Back at the grave-site, Cara starts to walk away but Amethar catches her and leads her back to the ship. They run into Theo and when she sees him with his new familiar, she goes off on him: Oh Jet is watching over us? Who was watching over her? And don’t think I don’t know about your crush on Lazuli. I have one daughter left. You think you can do a better job at protecting her? That kind of thing. She goes to board the ship but Amethar stays behind saying he’ll be with her in a minute, something that made *me* feel like I was about to get chewed out by Amethar’s wife.

Liam remembers that Cal--the traitor--saved Jack and Brie and decides to (as he is wont to do) ask about it in the clumsiest way possible. Jack says that they didn’t meet up with Cal on purpose or anything--they just happened to stumble across him and, now that he thinks about it, it was weirdly easy the way Cal got them through enemy lines and stuff. He seems pretty on the level so Liam does his Ranger thing to check for danger while they’re docked.

Back with Theo and Amethar, Theo says he’s fine so Amethar catches up with Cara and says that she can’t turn on Theo like that. They don’t have a lot of allies left. On a dirty 20 Persuasion check, we are spared the marital spat of a lifetime and instead she just presses herself against him and he brings her into a hug.

Sweet Life on Deck*

*I knew I’d get to use it eventually!

The next day, as they set sail, Cara apologizes to Theo for taking her grief out on him and he’s very gracious about it--also assuring her that he doesn’t hate her for winning Lazuli’s affections as she suggested nor does he have a crush on her--he just strongly believes in her ideals.

Cumulous finds Ruby to have a chat with her about his favorite topic (well second fave after magical items)--death. Ruby says that, with Jet dead, all she cares about is revenge and that she’s dead inside. Cumulous, who clearly doesn’t have Inspiring Speech on his character sheet (or, if he does, learned from Kristen), rambles about death for a bit before saying that though they’ll all die eventually, she doesn’t have to die yet and gives Ruby his necklace from Lazuli. She pockets it and walks away.   

Liam, with his Ranger senses, knows they’re being followed but also knows that they have the jump on them so they shouldn’t have a problem staying ahead. Jack and Amethar have a heart to heart wherein Jack blames himself for spilling the beans about Ghee and Amethar says it’s not his fault. They reaffirm that they’re in it together for the long haul. 

In the night, Liam has an intense dream involving familiar snarling, heat, smoke, chocolate, and cinnamon. Ruby wakes up in the middle of the night with Lazuli’s necklace glowing a little bit. The glow fades and then she notices, like Cumulous did, that her shadow is a little off--but it quickly corrects itself. All messed up, she goes onto the deck and finds that she can suddenly see perfectly in the dark. And, on a Nat 20 Perception check, she sees that the eye of the Lazuli necklace is a little creased, like it has smile lines. It glows brightly and casts her shadow on the wall--except it’s not the shadow she should have. It looks like her except the hair--the hair is in a long braid. Ruby presses her forehead against the forehead of the shadow and finds that it’s warm. And, as she does so, she fully breaks down for the first time since Jet’s death and the shadow does so alongside her. (Mechanically speaking, Ruby took a level of Shadow Sorcerer).

In the morning they dock, having gotten as far up the river as the ship can take them. It’s a long trip to the mountains and Muffinfield--Cal’s territory--is in their path. They have the option to go through the town fully, take the more off the beaten path route, or a little of both but either way it’s gonna take at least a full week (and up to three if they fully avoid the town). They decide to take the hybrid route which takes them into Muffinfield to begin with. It’s a rich province and very Bulbian. Tons of Imperial guards, tons of churches, and, in fact, they see a church putting on one of those puppet show/morality plays. Amethar makes the, mmm, unwise decision to check it out and sees that it’s a play about the Rocks family, depicting him as a horny lout, Cara as an airheaded bimbo, and the twins as feral bastards. Ruby sets the puppets on fire and Amethar hustles her away before she can do something more rash.

After that, they get to the woods--staying for a night with a lady so old and out of touch that she doesn’t even know that Amethar’s dad isn’t king anymore. Theo thanks Liam for saving Jet’s body and they bond over how much rage they have over, like, everything that's happened.

The Gang Gets Scooped

When they get back on the road (with some not so hot stealth checks), they see a little gingerbread guy in a Peter Pan cap who’s trying to pull his friend out from under a rock. Theo, knight to his core, rushes to help but Liam, who’s on the warpath, decides to shoot him. An insane course of action but he’s not wrong because a net captures both Theo and the gingerbread man and this turns out to be an ambush. The “friend” was a doll and the Gingerbread man (Swifty is his name) pulls a lollipop shiv on Theo because of course. When Theo says he’s not pro-Bulb, Swifty calls for Gooey--the chief marauder who is this buff warrior woman with half her face melted (like melted chocolate) like she was badly burned. She and this chocolate viking dude (Jon Bon) discuss whether they should take the group to the queen, which they decide to do, shackling everyone (though Liam and Ruby successfully conceal their thieves' tools in their hands for a later escape). At the mention of the queen, the assembled marauders start chanting “Long live the queen”--harkening back to the mountain gratifi from two episodes ago. They take them to their secret hideout in the mountains while Swifty runs ahead to let them know they’re coming. 

All their captors are Candian but they’re all deformed in some way and/or have old Sucrosi tattoos and Sweetening Path stuff, ears of Ceresians/Vegetanians on necklaces (EARS BRENNAN?), and defiled Bulbian relics. They’re from all over but they seem like they’ve been living this life for years.

The hideout is kinda built into the cliff side and it has this big rock outside like the standing stones the SPF has (menhir is the technical term).  It’s also covered in a layer of snow and very cold. Magical light is glowing as they pass through the entrance. Cumulous can feel very powerful magic at work. There’s a ton of ceremony and fanfare and chanting in advance of the queen’s arrival--these people seem to really love their queen, and so do we because out comes Queen Saccharina Frostwhip aka, Emily’s new character (aka Rina because I’m not typing that every time)! 

She is this extremely cool (in both senses of the word) ice-cream sorcerer with a magic staff (Winterscoop) and two swords and is majorly serving sweet but frosty-cool energy. Liam and Ruby spring everyone from their chains and Rina aggressively sweetly says that she would have freed them soon enough. She calls herself the legal ruler of Candia and when Cara questions that she says that she has another last name: Ghee. Amethar, is like, “Oh shit,” but she says that she’s not here to force a relationship on him, she just thinks they can all be useful to each other, especially since she’s the legal heir as the child of his legal marriage and someone not in open rebellion with the Concord. Theo is like, “That all checks out.” He asks Amethar if this is actually his kid and he sees in Rina Ghee’s eyes and his own swagger. Yeah, that’s his kid. In turn, she recognizes Cumulous as a monk of the Order of the Spinning Star. She, like half the party it feels--is a huge Lazuli stan, can feel her magic on him, and believes in her mission. She says she’s seen Lazuli in her dreams when she was little and Cumulous in her sees someone who can, in a lot of ways, take up Lazuli’s mantle and start rebuilding Candian magic rather than just doing triage like the monks have been. He bows to her. Ruby is not having any of this though and says that Rina isn’t her sister or her queen.

Theo asks Princess if they should trust her--she’s saying all the right things but he’s wary--and gets a bite which tells him nothing.

Ice Feast

Rina, upon being told special guests were coming, had a feast prepared which is described as Robin Hood-y. Amethar is like, “This is cool but the Bulbian church is literally trying to kill us so maybe we focus on that?” Rina says that that works for her. All Amethar has to do is recognize her as his daughter and heir and everything will be square--if the church wants to go after them at that point, they’ll have to break their own rules. Ruby, who’s still being obstinate says that it won’t work because she’s clearly a heretic with an allegiance to the Sweetening Path but Rina says and Jack confirms that as long as you kiss the ring in public, no one really cares what you do on your home turf. 

Ruby accuses her of not knowing what she’s talking about because she’s been hidden away her whole life and Rina shoots back (still smiling) that she’s actually been traveling the world, building her followers from scratch which she had to do because she came from nothing. Amethar (who’s in the, I would have to imagine, pretty novel position of watching his daughters fight) breaks it up. Cara--who fully hates that not only is this happening, it’s also their best shot--takes Ruby with her to have their meal somewhere else and Ruby, who has found someone to hate more than her mom, willingly goes. 

Rina has a sidebar with Amethar where she apologizes for popping up randomly and upsetting his entire family. She always wanted to meet them and she’s sorry that these are the circumstances. Amethar says that it’s not her fault--they’ve just been through a hell of a lot lately and they’re kind of emotionally spent but she’s actually a huge asset to them politically right now and he’s sure that once things are calm, things will be different on the relationship front. 

Ruby can’t believe Cara is taking all of this lying down and Cara (who is full John Mulaney, “This might as well happen,”) says she can’t remember the last time she had a handle on her life which is news to Ruby who thought she *was* the handle. Cara hits her with the unfortunate truth that no one--least of all kings and queens--knows what they’re doing or can really control it. All she can control is what she’s doing next which is having a bath. Ruby decides to, instead, cast Invisibility and look around for anything suspicious. 

After seeing a bunch of stolen loot, weapons, and Candian artifacts it seems like Rina’s trying to preserve, she eventually finds Rina in her quarters. On a 25 Perception to Ruby’s 24 Stealth, Rina clocks her and whispers, “I’m not here to take your family, little sister. I look forward to the day that we are friends.” Ruby, channeling Adaine in a big way, flips invisible double middle fingers. 

Cumulous is in another room, just fanboy happy-crying over all of Rina’s magic stuff in some of the funniest scenes Zac has ever done which is saying a lot. I cannot overstate how funny Zac crying over an imaginary ring pop is.  

Theo also finds Rina and asks about her visions of Lazuli. She says it happened when she was very young and her powers were just manifesting. She was in a place where magic wasn’t supported and the connection was all but beaten out of her. But she can also sense Lazuli’s presence in Theo. Ruby, still invisible, pipes up that she sees Lazuli too so she’s not special and Rina shoots back that she can also see Ruby while invisible, which is pretty special. This dissolves into a little sibling spat which Rina says she enjoys because she’s never had a sister to fight with before. The comment sets off Ruby again who says she already had a sister and she’s dead and she can’t replace her. She runs off.

Theo and Rina speak a little more and she reveals that she doesn’t really care about the throne. She just cares about bringing back magic and destroying the church (which means she’ll fit right in with the rest of the fam--not really wanting the throne and plotting against the church. The family business). 

After the feast, Gooey brings out the war maps (moving the Jawbreaker flag away from Castle Manylicks and deeper into the mountain and putting an ice cream cone flag deep into the mountains) and a bunch of magic tomes which Rina starts reading. Ruby notices that a lot of the tomes are written in Lazuli’s hand, she had a way to tap into the SPF’s runes, and that she wrote some kind of warning about the SPF--Lazuli did not trust or revere the SPF. Liam sees a book with the same ice cream symbol as the flag on the map and it’s a book of lost beast lore--including an ancient spirit described on pages scented like cinnamon and seemingly bound in some way (and also amongst a lot of SPF talk): Dracoria Azucar (or, Sugar Dragon). 

Anyway, Rina says that the SPF has done a lot to suppress Lazuli’s research (she’s not sure if she thinks it’s too dangerous or if she’s hoarding it or what) including taking all of her coolest relics and findings and hiding them in a frozen temple--the Ice Cream Temple. She wants to loot that temple. (Note: She also mentions that Kerradin visited her orphanage when she was little which...Bad). She’s sent raid parties who haven’t come back but they weren’t super powerful--she has a lot of angry, rescued orphans in her service. The gang more or less agrees to her plan--even Ruby reluctantly, but Ruby hears the SPF on the wind, “Things that are wrong may yet be made right. There is more than one true magician in Candia, Princess and I await your coming and will be delighted for your wish to come true.” 

A Change of Plans  

In the morning, they decide Cara will stay with Jack and the marauders while they (and some of Jack’s men) go on their mission. When Jack offhandedly says that Ghee was lovely, Rina says they had very different experiences with her. Ominous!  

Theo asks what’s going on with the Jawbreaker situation and she says that they’re in kind of a pissing contest--he won’t recognize her claim to the throne. Gooey pulls Rina aside and informs her (for the first time it seems) that Jawbreaker has left the Castle because people in the area were being tortured by Ceresian soldiers (wasn’t specified but I’m guessing Imperials) to draw him out and now he’s pinned down in the mountains. Rina (along w/ Gooey and Swifty) consider that if they help Jawbreaker, he’ll be more likely to acknowledge her claim to the throne. But, if they don’t and they let him die, Liam will be heir and he’s already on Team Rina. In the end, she decides to tell the group and they are keen on rescuing Jawbreaker--even though Liam is concerned because he knows his dad will never give up the throne. 

Everyone seems pretty gung ho about this except for Ruby who is like, “Hello we’re super outnumbered.” Cara has a solution to that however. She’s been up all night reading Lazuli’s books and she thinks she can bamf them past enemy lines if they can get to the nearby Spinning Star monastery. She can get them back too but because there’s not a teleportation circle where they’re going, she has to basically do the magical equivalent of holding her breath or remembering a really long series of numbers while they get in and get out. They won’t have much time.

They go to the monastery (where Rina’s anti-monarchical sentiments wins her another new fan in another monk named Snicker-Snack because sure) and Cumulous kills a chicken for that sweet temp HP. Cara says, “Lazuli, please help me get this right,” before performing her magic and sending them all to a dark, locked, musty building. They can hear Ceresian soldiers shouting outside--and that’s where we end our episode! 

Note: You can find the art for the new characters this episode on the D20 tumblr here! Once again, Samir is coming for some of y’all specifically with some of these designs.

Things I’m Concerned About

I’m gonna separate my thoughts on Rina across these two sections because my thoughts are hard in separate directions. I *love* Rina but I have to be honest with myself and say that if she was an NPC, I fully wouldn’t trust her. She comes in at the exact right time saying all the right things and coming with a major plot solution. She says she doesn’t care about the throne and she only wants to destroy the church (something that would make sense considering the backstory hints the dropped) and we haven’t had PvP before but like...if there was a season to do it...listen, I want her to just be this cool orphan who sincerely wants justice and a relationship with her dad and sister if that’s on the table but I’m just keeping my eye on her. (Also, when Gooey pulled her aside to have that troop movement convo I feared it was going to go in a much more suspicious direction.)

There’s a part that I kinda glossed over where Brennan says Manta Ray Jack looked at Rina “bashfully” and Rina took it as, “He’s gonna ask me out,” and rebuffed his advances. I feel like that’s not what that was about. That doesn’t mean it’s anything actively bad--maybe him remembering her mom?--but idk, I don’t like feeling like I’m missing something.

Oh, and speaking of her mom? Rina saying he had a different experience of her mom than she did combined with Rina saying her connection to Lazuli was “all but beaten out of her” plus the out of game knowledge that something related to child neglect happens in a few eps that’s so bad that Brennan hurt himself...It paints a Bad picture.

Once again, I am Concerned about everything going on with the SPF. What did she mean there’s more than one magician? Was she referring to Ruby? Does she want Ruby to PvP Rina? She better not. 

Little concerned about Annabelle’s side mission to find Ghee. I was before but now I am even more. 

Five A Few More Things

I want to believe that Jet is both partially inhabiting Princess and doing the Shadow Sorc thing with Ruby. The Pontifex works hard but Jet Rocks works harder. 

OK, let’s talk about what I call The Inherent Tragedy of Saccharina Frostwhip (*such* a good name, btw). If Ruby and Jet had met Rina *together* (either during peace times or having rolled a high enough Insight check to clock her as an ally during the present events) they would have loved her completely immediately. She’s got Cool Big Sister written all over her: cool design, martial prowess and magic, anti-monarchy and anti-Bulbian Church BUT willing to take the throne in their stead. They would have LOVED her. BUT, Rina wasn’t an NPC. She was Emily’s backup character. Which means that, because of the way our world bisects the world of Candia, there is never a world where Jet is alive while Rina comes into play. That’s tragic, man. That’s the worst. And when I say that’s the worst, I mean the best. This makes for such delicious story. You guys know I’m a full sucker for sister stuff. Which we were already getting but this is *complicated* sister stuff which we all know is better. Like, if this is where we’re starting emotionally, do you know good it’s gonna hit if Ruby eventually comes around on her? Siobhan and Emily are catering to me specifically this season.

Also, that reveal? Within like five minutes, my theory that “the Queen” in question was Amethar’s first kid was confirmed, my circa episode 3 prediction that a twin would die and come back as Amethar’s first kid was confirmed, AND my prediction from last episode that the SPF was telling a technical truth about Ruby finding her sister was confirmed. (Literal) sweet vindication! Can I do lotto numbers? No. But plot points for a Candy/GoT mashup? I’m your gal. 

Lol at someone mentioning Ghee as Amethar’s wife with Cara standing right there and Amethar fully WWE bodyslaming that dude with tag-teams for the entire family.

People are saying it seems like Rina is a Storm Sorcerer which would be cool seeing as Amethar is a Storm Herald Barbarian. Family parallels even without really knowing each other.  

Cara--who better survive this or I will Riot--needs like a 6 month spa trip after this is over. What she is dealing with right now is untenable and she is handling it much better than I would be honestly. (But also her, “lol, my life is in shambles,” to Liam’s inappropriate question that didn’t even really register to her at that point was another comedy highlight of the ep. Icon, even in mourning.) 

Lazuli might as well be a PC for how important she is to this campaign. 

Ooooh, Sugar Dragon for Liam? Brennan has outdone himself. (Unless Liam is gonna have to fight the Sugar Dragon which I am also super down for. As I was just discussing, there are never enough dragons in D&D for a game that’s half named after them).

Shout out to this post for making me short circuit for a full second. Ow. 

It’s a little funny that Brennan laid the groundwork for Emily’s background character in the middle of the episode he knew was gonna end with him trying to kill them. Like, OK, your future is secure, now time to destroy your present!

#dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #a crown of candy #a crown of candy spoilers #the royal report #is Jon Bon CoC hodor? #idk enough about GoT to confirm or reject that but that my my immediate thought for some reason

[goofygomez]

An analysis of The Last of Us Part II and its themes

I’ve seen a lot of people share their experience with playing The Last of Us Part II, and it’s safe to say most of it has been largely negative. It’s no secret this might be one of the most divisive games of all time, and it will probably stay that way for a long time after. I personally adored this game. I believe this is the masterpiece of masterpieces, and it’s the only game to ever top the emotions I felt when playing the first game, although I will say in terms of raw story (with nothing else like gameplay to support it) the first game is still a bit higher on the list for me.

But for all intents and purposes, when considering all aspects of this game, I think this is the single greatest accomplishment in game design and storytelling I’ve ever seen in a video game. That being said, I would like to try and respond to some of the criticisms this game has gotten, and furthermore, I’d like to try and analyze some of the themes I noticed when playing the game. Keep in mind this is MY opinion, and should not be taken as fact. This is just my experience, and I’ll respect yours one way or the other.

Take this as a MAJOR WARNING that there will be spoilers for both games in this post.

With that, let’s start with the common criticisms:

1.       “They killed Joel for no damn reason. He deserved better.” This is an easy one to tackle. For one, Joel most definitely did not deserve better. Even though we might love him for being the first game’s MC and have grown attached to him, there’s no way we can or should look past the fact that he, Joel, is a bad man. He even says himself in the first game that he and Tommy did some questionable things to survive in the 20 years between the outbreak and even during the events of TLOU. While he may be perceived as the hero of the franchise, when you look at his rap sheet, you start to notice he’s not so great after all. Take the ending of TLOU as the most glaring example, where Joel has been told Ellie must die in order for the Fireflies to develop a vaccine. His first and only reaction is to kill every single Firefly he sees and murder the surgeon who would have killed his “baby girl”. Would I have done any different in his shoes? Probably not, but that’s the beauty of the first game. Its ending and the ambiguity of Joel’s morality given his actions is one of the driving forces that make the first game so spectacular and why it’s still being discussed 7 years later. Now let’s talk about the second point to this criticism: “He died for no reason”. If you recall, the people who killed him were former Fireflies, one of which (Abby) was the daughter of the surgeon whom Joel unceremoniously killed. In their eyes, they had every right to go after Joel. Like Anthony Caliber, one of the best TLOU speedrunners, said in one of his recent livestreams, “Joel signed his own death sentence when he killed Marlene and the surgeon back at the hospital in TLOU1”. While it may seem overly zealous to us as players who have grown to love Joel, if the roles had been reversed would you not do the same? Would you not want revenge for the killing of your father? And isn’t that exactly what Ellie is doing in this game, which most players justify in this hatred of Abby?

2.       “Joel was out of character in giving out his name and trusting strangers. They dumbed him down for the sake of plot.” As I recall, Joel literally gave Henry and Sam his name and followed them out to their hideout barely 30 seconds after meeting them and beating the shit out of Henry. Joel may be an untrusting person at heart but he always does so with reason. The most common reason people give of this is “He didn’t trust the guy asking for help in Pittsburg and ran him over so why trust Abby and her gang”. First of all, that was literally the one situation Joel had already been on the other side of, and knew perfectly well it was rehearsed. On the flipside, he and Tommy had just saved Abby and literally mention there’s no other way to go other than with her because there’s a huge blizzard and a herd was after them. And especially now, after Joel has been living in Jackson for 4 years now and has been living comfortably in a community very obviously open to new people. Abby’s group gave them no reason to distrust them, and giving out his name, in any other situation, would have made no difference in the outcome. It was just unfortunate they happened to be after him.

3.       “I hate playing as Abby, why are they trying to make me sympathize with her?” That’s the whole point, they’re not. The entire game, you keep rooting for Ellie to find and kill this woman who wronged you, and when you’re forced to play as her, you’re understandably angry. You’re upset, and you feel you have to slog through this seemingly endless section of the game. But as you keep playing, much like I did, you start seeing the other side of the story. Abby is not the villain the game paints her out to be when she killed Joel. She’s another human being with human emotions and a very real reason to hate Joel and to want him dead. As I said before, Abby is doing exactly what Ellie eventually does after Abby kills Joel.

4.       “Why would Ellie go through all that effort to not kill Abby in the end?” I will touch on this in the analysis of the themes, but simply put, it was about breaking cycles.

Now I’d like to start defending how and why I believe this is a masterpiece by first taking a look at one of the admittedly less touched upon parts: gameplay. This aspect usually takes a step back when it comes to narrative-based games, and it is obviously not the most resounding part of this game, but it is clearly not taking a back seat either. The flow of both combat and mellower scenarios in this particular game is astounding. When battling opponents, the AI feels like one of the most intelligent I’ve ever seen in a video game. The way the enemies communicate between each other, telling the others when the player is out of ammo or when they’re flanking to create much more nuanced fight sequences, coupled with the expanded worlds Naughty Dog has come up with to create a seamless experience when fighting hordes of enemies without it feeling stale or repetitive, is one of the most immersive gaming experiences I’ve ever had. Each encounter feels unique and challenging in some ways you may not have felt before in the game, and by the end you’re so immersed in that feeling that going through the Santa Barbara group (to me, at least) was almost automatic and I could see so many different options for me to approach each situation as it came my way.

Likewise, Naughty Dog have managed to turn the puzzle solving from the first game, where you simply had to find a dumpster to step on or a door to open with a shiv, and incorporate the environment and world into it, finding clever ways to get over obstacles without simply having a step-up ladder be the end of it. The mechanics that went into the rope puzzles, breaking windows to get to previously unexplored territory (which is admittedly not new in gaming, but still a cool concept to add to the franchise) paired together with so many more new little features to bring the world they created to life, and bring you into it as well.

As always, and as was the case with the first one, you can’t talk about The Last of Us without talking about the soundtrack. The haunting score created by the masterful mind of Gustavo Santaolalla, a fellow Argentinean like me, brought to life some of the most heart-wrenching moments and the most beautiful ones as well, in a way that can only be achieved with amazing sound design and music. The main theme song, which is a sort of homage to the one from the first, takes a much darker approach, choosing instead to focus on the bass and that resounding low voice in the background, setting the tone for the rest of the game: a much darker, grittier, and grounded experience that will pull no punches. Santaolalla managed to create a score that mimics the first one in melody and rhythm, while succeeding in mirroring it to create a more dissonant accompaniment to the gruesome story you’re brutally killing your way through.

Another aspect of the game that deserves all the praise it gets, and one that people seem to at least be in consensus about, is the graphics and animation design. I can safely say this is hands down the most beautiful, gorgeous, astounding, breathtaking game I’ve ever laid my eyes upon, and that might not be enough adjectives to fully encapsulate how I feel about the graphics in this game. One can argue all day about the morality of the characters in the game or the balance between right and wrong that Naughty Dog so masterfully plays with in the story, but one thing is for sure: The graphics design team deserves so much credit for actually bringing the story and the characters we know and love to such vivid life. You can see it in the little things, like the veins in Joel’s arm as he plays “Future Days” by Pearl Jam and the facial expressions Ellie can make if you stand in front of a mirror during the museum flashback; you can also see it in the larger things, like the jaw-dropping backdrops that range from a beautiful mountain range in the snow to the downtown Seattle skyline. No moment will be wasted by stopping your pace to just admire the absolutely gorgeous view you’re presented with every time you enter a new game world. The attention to detail in animation is also not lacking at all, with so many little actions being given special treatment as we see Ellie patch herself up and still having the actual bandage over her arm instead of disappearing like any other game, or the way Ellie’s fingers perfectly (and correctly) play chords without resorting to generic hand gestures. You can see the love and care the developers have for this game in every tiny crack in the game that simply takes your breath away and that sometimes you won’t even see from the vastness of the world around you.

And finally, the story. It is definitely a divisive story, and Neil Druckmann did warn us it would be. There were times, namely the moment they switched the POV to show me the first 3 days from Abby’s perspective, when I was genuinely wondering what the hell they were thinking. My faith in Naughty Dog never wavered, though. I kept playing because I thought, “There must be some reasoning for this.” And to my greatest relief, it finally clicked for me a few hours into Abby’s section. Namely, the moment where she meets Lev and Yara, two Seraphites that defected after the former shaved his head. At first, it seemed weird that they would be cast out for such a stupid reason, but then you start to get to know them, and you understand the real reason they had to leave their religious cult. As I said before and will say again, this is a game about perspective. Up until that point, I just wanted Abby dead, albeit with some guilt since learning that it was her father Joel killed in that operating room. But seeing Abby’s willingness to help total strangers, much like Joel did at the start of the game, was what sold me on this game’s concept. The purpose of this story is to make you feel the regret and the weight of the actions you impart on the world, as you can see the carnage Ellie left in her wake during your time as Abby, seeing Abby’s friends butchered by either Ellie or Tommy, realizing they’re no different than the villains we have such tunnel vision about. The ending is something I’ll get to in the themes, but I just have to say I love the way it’s such a parallel to the first game’s ending, up to the point of divisiveness in the people who actually played and finished the game (which at the time of writing this is less than 4% of players).

Now onto the themes. One of the things people always praise about the first game, and rightfully so, is its themes and how well it portrays them through certain characters to create a cohesive and coherent story that pulls at your heartstrings and makes you root for the “heroes” of the game. This time it’s not much different, with the minor exception that this time, there are no heroes. Just like Neil Druckmann said many times during the development of Part II, “While the first game was about love, this game is about hate”, which is one of the main themes.

1.       Hatred: I can safely say there have been very few times of my gaming life where I’ve been so viscerally angry (in a “good” way) while playing a video game as I have as I tore down through countless enemies that got in the way of me and my target. This game will let out the worst parts of you in ways you can’t even imagine, and will make you take a look at the way we glorify violence in video games without the usual preachy tone of “video games cause violence”. Like I said before, this is a game that mirrors the first one while paying homage to its themes. To take a page out of Abby’s book, it’s like a coin. There are always two sides to it. On the one hand, the first game’s main theme was love, and how loss and grief can be overcome with it with the proper care and time. The Last of Us Part II shows us the uglier side of human nature, which is anger, despair and a natural desire for revenge (another theme). Both games show us the natural progression of a grieving person, but both of them take wildly different approaches. Granted, we don’t know how brutal and vicious Joel was right after losing Sarah, but it’s safe to assume he was nothing short of a monster, which eventually didn’t really help in dealing with that loss until he found love and hope in a little girl whose safety was now his utmost responsibility. In Ellie’s case, she’s still in that first stage. Ellie as a character has always been reckless and foolhardy, and her actions in this game are a testament of how well Neil Druckmann and Halley Gross know their characters. The entire game, right up until the final moments where she’s about to finish Abby off, her actions are fueled by a rage and desire to exert justice onto those who’ve wronged her. In other words, she’s looking for revenge.

2.       Revenge: Both main characters have at least one thing in common, and it is their desire to avenge their father/father figure. I truly believe that Joel’s death was not only justified (from a storytelling perspective) but also crucial to the development of a sequel that both enhanced the world of The Last of Us while building onto it with new ideals and perspectives. The idea this time is definitely not one we haven’t seen before in so many other mediums: “Revenge is bad and is never worth it” Seems trivial to even suggest it when we all know the outcome, but The Last of Us Part II manages to not only build upon the idea that revenge is a double-edged sword, but it also manages to balance the perspectives within that cycle to attempt to explore the psyche of the characters we’ve put into the boxes of “hero” and “villain”. And subsequently, they manage to break that characterization by showing us both sides of the aforementioned coin to see, in no unclear terms, that the consequences of our actions when dealing with vengeance always circle back to expose the nastiest side of our nature. It stands to reason that we, as the player, would at first be on board with Ellie “finding and killing every last one of them”, and demonizing Abby for not only killing but torturing possibly one of the most beloved characters in gaming history. We want her dead. We want her to suffer for the crime she’s committed. Yet, in our quest for vengeance and justice, would we not be succumbing to the same cycle that brought Abby to killing Joel in the first place? Did she not think, from her perspective, that she was entirely justified in killing the man who had not only destroyed the one chance humanity had against the Cordyceps, but also murdered her father in cold blood? Are we not the same as Abby for wanting her dead after she kills one of our own? When does it end? And that’s the real question. This whole thing, the lust for revenge that can only be quenched with cold-blooded murder, is just another facet to our complex and grey morality as human beings. It’s natural for us to feel angry and upset at this, and I believe all the hatred people give this game that stems from it forcing you to play as Abby is the exact nature the game is trying to bring out of us and show to us in a mirror.

3.       Cycles: While this may not be such an obvious catch as the first two, it’s still very much ingrained in the inner workings of this game’s narrative and how both characters view the world according to their reality and perspective. The concept of revenge, as stated above, is a repetitive one. One that causes cycles and events to repeat themselves if left unchecked, and The Last of Us Part II plays with these masterfully. Starting the game with a heartbreaking moment and setting the dark tone for the rest of the game is what starts the first part of this cycle, which is Ellie wanting to avenge Joel’s death, much like Abby avenged her father’s death after 4 years of despair, planning, and training. Ellie’s desire to kill Abby is what leads her down the path we would characterize, were she some random character and not the main one of the franchise, as the villain’s route, going down a dark path that prompts her to mindlessly and mercilessly slaughtering countless people whose names you hear from their friends’ mouths when you kill them, to the point where you end up getting to Abby’s closest friends and companions and murdering them too, not unlike Abby murdered Joel. It is a sobering feeling to realize the character you most love and root for is, in the eyes of the other main character, as much of a villain (if not more) as we as players make Abby out to be. It is at the end of the game, which a lot of players had qualms about, where Ellie is beating Abby within an inch of her life that she realizes this is not worth it. Killing Abby will not bring Joel back, and will certainly not bring her any satisfaction, as showcased by how traumatized Ellie was after the killings of Abby’s other friends and the fact that she still kept seeing Joel’s lifeless body as she attempted to drown Abby on that coast. Then, as we are mercilessly choking the life out of her, which is yet another example of the visceral anger the game elicits from the player, we see a different memory of Joel. One of hopefulness, where Joel is playing the guitar and smiling. It is at that moment that Ellie realizes the only thing she can do now is to move on with her life and accept Joel’s death as something that happened. To add onto this realization, it’s probably good to mention that Ellie must have seen some of herself in Lev in that killing Abby would have left him (if not dead) in a state much like the one she, Ellie, was at the start of the game. Coming back to the theme of cycles, if Ellie killed Abby, what’s to stop Lev from coming after Ellie the same way she came after Abby, and so on and so forth. Both these things coupled help Ellie finally break the cycle and go back to the farm, where she’s greeted with the consequences of her actions in a more emotional and real way than the PTSD: Dina being gone and Ellie leaving her guitar behind, symbolizing her letting go of Joel’s memory and accepting her reality.

The game scares us; it scares me. It is a harrowing experience that will only get better with time and will, in my humble opinion, go down as one of the greatest games of all time for years to come. No matter the context, and no matter the medium, I wish it were easy to find such real, emotional, and powerful pieces of art as this one more often. But alas, we will have to wait and see. As someone whose name I can’t seem to remember said: “This will mark the gaming industry and divide it between ‘Before TLOU2 and After TLOU2”

#tlou #tlou2 #tlou2 spoilers #joel #ellie #dina #abby #tlou part ii

[smilepal]

8-13 angsty asks

Character ask meme for @solo-net ☺️

8.) Do they hold grudges? is it hard for them to let go/forgive each other?

Hiro rarely holds grudges, except in certain circumstances. He has a bit of a temper but it usually flares out relatively fast, and he’d rather resolve things quickly after feelings cool a bit. Certain sitiuations would cause him to hold a grudge though. He doesn’t trust people very easily so when he does, it’s a huge deal for him. Having that trust broken, especially if it became a habit/was done more than once would be something he’d have a hard time forgiving too readily. He’s also very protective of his partners/small circle of people he cares about--mess with/hurt them and he wouldn’t be a forgiving person. Hiro used to be worse about holding grudges/holding onto arguments, especially before the Heist. He refused to go with Vic/Jackie, he’d tried to talk them both out of it but they wouldn’t listen and it ended in a huge fight with him and Jackie--he pretty much told the other “if he wanted to go get himself and V killed, that he wasn’t going to be a part of it”. He still feels horribly guilty about it, especially after almost losing Vic as well. It’s contributed to him not wanting to leave arguments unresolved/leave in the middle of them/not going to bed mad at his partners. 

Vic rarely gets seriously mad, and she really hates being mad at the boys.  However, in the event she actually does get mad it’s really hard for her to let go of it--particularly if she feels she's in the right. It usually takes whoever made her mad apologizing or them explaining to V why she’s in the wrong to snap her out of it. If she does realize she messed up though, she’s good at taking time aside and apologizing genuinely/having an open conversation about the matter. 

9.) Is there something big that could potentially tear them apart if it was revealed? 

If Hiro found out the other two were using/manipulating him, that’d probably kill the relationship pretty fast. They were pretty transparent about how serious it was going to be, and finding out they didn’t mean that would hurt him deeply. He has a difficult time trusting people, so someone finally earns it, they EARN it, and he’s incredibly loyal to them. Having that thrown back at him would probably just reinforce the mindset of “don’t trust people” even more--which he’s actively been trying moderate somewhat. It’s kept him alive in NC but it’s been terrible for making allies/long-lasting friends. 

V thinks there is. V thinks if the boys found out how much V has to fight to not just be a human weapon sometimes they would leave her. She was a literal child soldier, she's been trained to kill since she was 8, and a lot of vital things got desensitized. Sometimes she scares even herself with how easy murder is to her. Hiro has a past he’s not super proud of either, and is fucking devoted, and Johnnys literally been in the depths of her brain and seen every shadowy corner of it. He knows lol. But it is a fear of hers, even if it’s not necessarily one that would play out like she expects.

10.) If something already happened to tear them apart, what would make them come back together? is it even possible?

Regarding physical separation--Hiro would want to be back with his people as soon as possible, especially if the separation was under bad circumstances/not something normal like a gig. He misses Vic/Johnny when they’re on separate jobs but he’s definitely more on the independent side (and enjoys a little bit of silence on occasion). Emotionally would be a different story. Hiro would try to leave if he felt V/Johnny were being abusive, but depending on how deeply in a relationship they were, he might have a challenging time with that. Him being loyal to someone is generally a good thing, but it could definitely be taken advantage of by unscrupulous partners, especially because it would make it hard to leave a situation, even if he knows he’s being treated badly. It would be easy physically separating himself, but emotionally would be much harder. 

For V it really depends. Physically, like through distance or kidnapping? They would all fight tooth and nail to be back together. Emotionally though would be a little different.  At least from Vs point of view, there are only two reasons she would remove herself from the boys. A.) She believes herself to be a risk to them.  So the risk would have to pass for her to come back. Whether that means she got a more firm grip on her sanity or she killed all her enemies. B.) The only other reason V would leave would be if she thought the boys had become abusive, emotionally or physically. It would be a really hard decision for her but she's been in an abusive relationship before. She wouldn't want to be stuck in that hell again. Something terrible would have to happen for that to happen though. And I don't know if V would be able to keep herself away forever. 

11.) What’s their favorite pass time when they’re upset?

Hiro usually goes for a long bike ride, and disappears for a few hours. It used to worry his partners but he’d rather just leave and come back when he’s not still upset and talk with them after everything’s calmed down a bit--after explaining that to them, they tend not to worry as much and just let him have his space for a little bit. Occasionally he’ll go out to a club and spend a couple hours dancing or just try to get out of his head for a bit/enjoy a healthy dose of escapism. If it’s really bad he’ll go spar by himself for a bit. He doesn’t trust himself to box with a partner if he’s really upset/the gorilla arms aren’t the best for casual training anyway, so he usually just sticks to a bag. He tries to at least say something before he leaves so his partners don’t worry. 

V goes and shoots things. If it's just something that happened in her apartment and she needs a brief respite, she goes down to Wilson’s and goes nuts at his range. He's even keyed her into the locks so she can do it if he's not there. If it's something more serious/disturbing, she'll go to the Badlands, find a nice cliff and snipe Raffen Shiv from it.

12.) Who do they confide in when shit hits the fan (besides each other?)

Hiro’s first instinct is to go to Viktor. The two of them have a close relationship and Vik was one of the first people Hiro was able to trust after he left TC. He appreciates the other’s warmth but also the fact that he doesn’t take shit from Hiro either. Vik claims that he’s bad at giving advice but sometimes Hiro just needs someone to be patient and listen as he tries to articulate things or mull them over. If it was something less serious he might vent to Claire or Pepe, and vice versa. He’s definitely heard his share of secrets/venting from them before as well. It took him a long time to feel comfortable enough to actually go and talk to people about stuff though--Vik’s definitely been a good influence, in that regard. 

V has a bi-weekly ‘book club’ (let's be honest it's really just a gossip circle) with Delamain and Barry, where she vents about life and the boys. It's a very classy event with coffee, books and hot goss. But for really serious things she'd probably go to Vik or Mama Welles.

13.) Is it hard for them to talk about their feelings openly with each other? if so, is there any way that can be resolved, even in the slightest?

Hiro has a hard time verbalizing his feelings. He doesn’t feel as articulate at it as Vic is, and it can be really frustrating for him. He’s more comfortable showing people how he feels, rather than saying it--especially when it comes to difficult conversations. He’s definitely learned a lot about it from V though, even if it’s still not his favorite thing to do. He’s definitely better about it than he used to be though, where he just didn’t adress feelings at all/bottled emotions up more.

V, on the other hand is super earnest and all about open communication.  She's trying to help the boys be more open but it's definitely an uphill battle. She's gotten really good at reading subtext with them. 

Thanks for asking! These were really helpful to flesh out their relationship more. (and to @shinycorvidae for letting me bug you about Vic)

#cyberpunk headcanon #hiro oda #victory delvin #cp2077 #relationship memes

[prisonrose]

Silent Hill: Isolation (A Summary)

Your name is Dhimani Rose, and you have done something unforgivable. You thought that serving a life sentence in this hellhole was as bad as things could ever get for you. Like just about everything else in your miserable existence, you were wrong.

This labyrinth-like, twisted reflection of your “home” of the past few years seems like divine punishment, But you’ve never heard of a god as sadistic as this. Is it even more punishment for your past transgressions? ... Or is it trying to teach you something?

-- -- --

While I doubt this will ever be a proper game you could play (I might see if there’s a possibility to make it on like… an RPG Maker or some shit? IF I’m feeling especially spicy) I’m going to get suuuper into the “game’s” mechanics and plot now, because it’s fun to pretend. Silent Hill: Isolation is a crossover third person survival horror game based upon Chairman Dhimani Rose’s encounter with the Blue Mist. Its primary mechanics are with exploration and puzzle solving, with a little dash of combat here and there.

The game’s opening plays out on what seems to be security cam footage. After getting forced into a solitary confinement cell again for unspecified reasons, Dhimani suffers a total mental and emotional breakdown. In a short montage, he sobs, bangs on the door, paces around, and finally curls up on his bed in the corner. 

A sped up time-lapse plays out of him moving about restlessly on the bed, rolling over and tossing and turning, sometimes looking up at the camera angrily and pulling the blankets up over his head. As a distant siren wails, the camera slowly zooms into the screen as the minutes tick by at a frantic pace. It gently fades into static.

Suddenly, we’re in Dhimani’s room without the security cam filter. The door quietly drifts open, but he doesn’t notice. It’s not really communicated to the player, but they can control him at this point. They can make him roll over and notice that the door is open at any time, to which he’ll express confusion.

He slowly gets up to observe it, as if he can’t believe it, calling to see if anyone is there. No answer. He presses forward and slowly walks out into the hallway, still calling, “Hello?” as if he’s afraid he’ll be punished for noticing the door is open. But when he gets out, the hallways are mostly dark, a far cry from the blinding, white nothingness his solitary cell constantly assaulted him with. More alarming than that, the hallways are completely empty and still. The camera gradually swoops from the fixed camera position in the corner of his solitary cell to just behind his back in the typical “third person” angle popularized by the RE series.

From that moment on, the player is on their own. There are no other characters in this iteration of Silent Hill. The first bit of the game is played in complete isolation in the empty hallways of Wyndon Prison, slowly trying to figure out how mechanics work. Once you find your first weapon about 20-30 minutes in, the hallways and main areas within the prison will slowly be populated with monsters that you’ll either have to defend yourself from, or, more likely, hide from. 

While there is combat in this game, it’s always supposed to be used as a last resort. This is a classic survival horror type game, where resource management is key, and supplies are scarce. More than that, Dhimani isn’t a particularly tough character (as seen with a few of his idle animations, where he’ll cough violently or sometimes slump against a nearby wall for a quick rest), so it doesn’t take much at all to take him down. 

There are three basic actions. Light attack, Heavy attack, and Block. All three need Dhimani to have some sort of weapon in his hand for it to work properly. Otherwise, you’ll do damage to yourself. There are also three weapons, though they have uses outside of combat as well. All weapons will eventually break with all types of usage, and spawning is infrequent, so conserve as much as you can. You can throw them as well, to sacrifice the scant durability left.

The Shiv is the lightest, weakest, and has the worst amount of reach. It also breaks the quickest, but is also the most common to find. You can do several light attacks with it in the blink of an eye, so it’s best for lighter, quicker enemies with not too much health. Outside of combat, it’s useful for cutting Ropes. Note: Shivs can be found in all sorts of varieties, from toothbrush to comb. This is completely cosmetic, and changes nothing about the gameplay.

The second weapon is the Crowbar. Medium weight, medium damage, but the longest reach. This is the “jack of all trades” weapon and can usually see you through most conflicts just fine, so long as you remember that the timing is a little different than with the tiny, dinky Shiv. It also lasts much longer than the Shiv, but doesn’t spawn as much, either. Outside of combat, it’s used for prying open Planks of Wood blocking entrance ways or doors. It can also lift up Debris in some instances.

The third and final weapon is the Wrench. Heavy damage, but also a very heavy weight. It only has medium reach as well, so you really have to pay attention to the timing with this one. Doing a heavy attack with a Wrench takes a full two second windup, but it will kill basically every common enemy in the game with one hit if you manage to land it. Outside of combat, it’s used for smashing Padlocks. It can also be used to fix Computer Terminals throughout the game. It has the highest durability as well.

You will only get a maximum of 20 uses out of each weapon, including blocks and out-of-combat utilization, so once again, you definitely should not be trying to wail on monsters willy-nilly in this game. There is also a stamina bar for sprinting, because I’m an ass. Thankfully there is no stamina bar for swinging or blocking with your weapons. That’d be a hell of a lot to think about, especially considering the timing of swings and durability with the weapons. This isn’t fucking Dark Souls.

Dhimani’s Cell on his normal block is the only save area in-game. It is usually safe, but not always. To tell if the area is safe in that instance, you have to look on his writing desk for one of his two statues of protection -- the King of Gargoyles and the Angel of Tranquility. Both will keep lesser monsters out of the cell, making it safe for you to duck inside to get a really persistent one off your tail, but only the Angel of Tranquility will heal you freely. The King of Gargoyles is the one you get much more often and is the only one you get during the beginning portion of the game.

Every time you move out of your Cell Block and then return to his cell, it’s randomized which one you’ll get, or if you’ll get none at all, in which case, you’ll get the prompt “You feel a cold chill run up your spine”. If you get that prompt and a monster is after you, hide as quickly as possible under the bed and stay still until it leaves and you no longer hear it. Or else it’ll come in and assault you. Even if there wasn’t a monster on your tail when you get in there and get the warning message, stay on your toes. They can wander by freely, and if they notice you in there, they will aggro and attack you automatically.

In your Safe Room, you have a Chest for keeping one extra of each Weapon, Healing Items, and Key Items. You can also Save. There is an Autosave function in-game, so dying to a monster won’t set you back to your last manual save unless you’re on Super Ultra Big Dick Hard Mode, but you will lose everything you’re carrying, including Key Items. If you had to beat a boss to get the Key Item, you won’t need to beat them again, but you WILL have to go all the way back to get it, and that can be challenging enough, especially during the latter half of the game where monsters wandering the halls are more common and more powerful. 

The object of the game is to figure out what happened to everyone, where you are, and how you can get out. It won’t be easy… But you’ve been through too much to just give in.

#{ headcanons } #{ metas } #silent hill au #chairman rose #shut up let me be proud okay #{ic}; i know why the caged bird sings

[amyscascadingtabs]

when i’m feeling alone, you remind me of home

Three different years, three different Christmasses, and three different reasons Jake's awake all too early in the morning on December 25th.

(or, did anyone say CHRISTMAS FLUFF???)

read on ao3

december 25th, 2014.

06.08 a.m.

“Oh my god, have you been here all night?”

Jake's not sure whether Amy’s about to laugh at him or tell him off about how he needs to take better care of himself. From the incredulous look on her face, like she can’t believe her eyes when he nods at her from behind his desk, it could be either.

“Jake, that’s insane. Have you ever heard of, I don't know, sleeping during the night?”

(It's the second alternative.)

 He has heard of sleep, and he’ll confess the thought of his bed with its good mattress lump and too-soft pillows is more tempting now than when he first considered going home about eight hours ago, but he also just drank a can of artificially blue energy drink and might never sleep again. All the better - it’ll give him more time to catch his arch-nemesis, who sent him yet another rant about omelets yesterday that left Jake none the wiser and all the more frustrated.

 “I’m trying to get a trail on Doug Judy,” he shrugs in response to Amy. “You think a person can disappear into thin air?”

“I’ll go with no on that one.”

Jake groans. “I swear that’s what he’s done. It’s infuriating.”

“I’m sorry he got away,” Amy tilts her head to the side with sympathy, “but I promise you’ll catch him. Just go home and get some sleep.”

“You go home and get some sleep.”

“I have! I’m just stopping by to get a couple of hours of work done before I have to go back to my brother’s place.”

“Why are you going to your brother’s place -” He makes note of the red and green stripes on her knitted sweater and her red bauble earrings. “Oh, right. Christmas.”

 Never one for family-centered holidays or one with a particular skill for keeping track of time, Jake could have sworn the occasion wasn’t happening for another few days at least, but Amy nods. Her earrings sway with the movement.

“So you’re working on Christmas?” He asks, raising an eyebrow.

“You’re working on Christmas,” she retorts simply.

“Yeah, but I don’t celebrate it. You like being with your family.” Jake snaps his computer shut and leans over his desk instead, hands clasped together and chin resting on them. “What’s the mysterious deal here? Has there been a juicy scandal in the Santiago family? Please spill.”

Amy sighs, her cheeks turning a shade of pink he recognizes from the last time Captain Holt complimented her work on a case in front of the bullpen. “There’s nothing juicy. I just needed some time away from my brothers if I’m going to survive today.”

“I thought you liked your brothers?”

“I have seven brothers, Jake, and I like all of them. Except for David. Perfect David,” she says, screwing up her face like it pains her to say the name. “David is planning to take the Sergeant’s exam this year. David is looking at buying a house. David’s proposing to his girlfriend. Aren’t you thinking of getting married to your boyfriend, Amy? Oh, that’s right - you two broke up! Such a shame. You two made an adorable couple!”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah.” She bites her lip. “Sure. Ouch.”

She starts writing on her computer, fingers tapping over the keyboard with speed and only stopping for brief moments when she looks out the window like she’s taking a break to think. Jake decides to give her a moment alone and dives back into his own poorly structured document of barely existent and equally far-fetched leads. He doubts he’s writing anything coherent at this point, but the thought of Doug Judy out there taunts him too much to allow himself to stop.

 He feels guilty whenever Amy mentions her breakup with Teddy. It’s been three weeks since the most catastrophic double-date in history, and most of the time, they’re cool, but then there are moments where he’ll mention Sophia and notice how Amy’s eyes will turn away and her expression will morph into a smile so different from her natural one. He can’t decipher what it means, or if it’s nothing and his mind’s playing tricks on him from when he had a little bit of a crush on her. It’s not like it would matter, he reminds himself. He’s with someone, he’s happy, and Amy’s over him anyway.

It doesn't stop him from wishing he could read her thoughts sometimes.

 “Are you having dinner with your mom tonight?” Amy asks, jolting him back to reality. The tapping of her fingers against the keyboard has slowed down, and the tension that radiated from her before seems milder. Jake thinks he can note the hint of a smile on her lips.

“How do you know I’m having dinner with my mom?”

“You told me last year?”

His memory flashes back to a late-night, dead-end stakeout last December. “Right. Right, yeah, I am - Sophia’s away visiting family, so.”

Either Amy's smile turns more wistful, forced, or he’s imagining it. “That sounds nice. Are you planning to get any sleep before then?”

“Sleep is for the weak,” he tries joking, but because his body is cruel, moving his face triggers a massive yawn that makes Amy giggle.

“Actually, sleep deprivation is linked to a weaker immune system, higher risk of cardiovascular diseases and trouble with concentration,” she lists, ignoring his eye-roll. “Seriously, Jake. Go home and rest, then come back with a clear head tomorrow.”

“Nah,” he shrugs. “Just need more coffee.”

“I pity your doctor.” Amy shakes her head. “But hey, it’s Christmas - if you promise me you’ll go home and sleep after, coffee’s my treat.”

“Really?”

“Consider it my Christmas gift for you. “ She’s out of her seat and taking on her coat before he’s even had a shot to ask why he’s willingly going outside in the cold when there’s perfectly acceptable, free coffee in the break room. Then again, he’s not one to say no to a surprise. Especially not when the words on his computer are getting blurrier by the second, and he’s lost nearly all faith in his own skills as a Detective thanks to the failed capture of Doug Judy three days ago. Caffeine will help him stay awake; maybe long enough to come up with at least one more idea. Something - anything - and he’ll let himself go home. As soon as he’s made progress, he’ll rest.

 “Gingerbread lattes. Sickly sweet, so suits you perfectly.” He gives Amy a quizzical look as she puts down the red and white Starbucks cup in front of him. She blushes. “I mean, because you eat what I believe is a dangerous amount of sugar. Nothing else.”

Jake grins. “That difficult to hide your crush on me, huh?”

“I don’t have a crush on you. If you’d like to give me a Christmas gift, I’d very much appreciate you quitting bringing that up.”

“Uh-uh, it’s a no-can-do.” He unscrews the lid from his cup, licking up the sweet foam. “This is great, though. Thanks, Amy.”

“You’re welcome. Merry Christmas,” she says, and he thinks he sees a glint of that shy, covert smile again. “For what it’s worth, I really think you’ll catch him. I believe in you. Just get some sleep first.”

“Merry Christmas.” He lifts his cup like he’s making a toast. “I believe you can survive Christmas lunch with your family. Maybe even without strangling anyone.”

Amy snorts. “Now that would be a Christmas miracle.”

“So would Doug Judy surfacing again be at this point.”

She holds up her own takeaway cup, touching it to his. “Cheers to Christmas miracles, then.”

“Cheers,” he laughs.

 In the corner of his eye, he sees his phone light up with a Merry Christmas-text from Sophia. He can’t fully explain the guilt that follows when he waits a few minutes to reply, or why he’s struck with a sudden desire to tell Amy another joke first so he can make her laugh again, but it's probably just sleep-deprivation.

 ~

 december 25th, 2017.

05.33 a.m.

Jake wakes up not knowing how to breathe.

It’s not happening as often anymore - not nearly as frequently as it did during his first weeks home - but often enough for it to no longer surprise him. The dreams before he wakes up are almost indistinguishable from each other, always another version of Romero’s gang having him backed into a corner with their shivs pointed at him. Melanie Hawkins is watching the whole thing go down from the other side of the cell, her laugh nefarious and causing his blood to freeze to ice. In every dream, he screams for help, but no one ever comes to save him.

 It’s fine, he tries to tell himself, forcing in air through his mouth. His chest hurts, his heartbeat’s far over the healthy bpm and a sense of instinctive dread is pooling in his stomach, but he’s fine. He’s home.

He listens for the sound of cars driving past outside her window, a trick he’s learned after too many of these nights, and reaches out his right hand to touch his nightstand. A second wave of fear floods him when he realizes he can't hear a single car, and when he reaches out his hand, all he feels is a wall that doesn't belong to his bedroom.

He sits up so quickly it makes him dizzy. He doesn't remember where he is, and can't distinguish the room in its encapsulating darkness, but if he's back in prison or Romero or Hawkins have somehow manifested in his real life, he's all too aware he doesn’t have anything to fight with except his bare, trembling, hands.

This is where you die, a voice in his head wheezes, and his lungs feel tighter. This is where it ends.

 The sound of another person’s breathing sharpens his focus. It could be someone from Romero’s gang standing behind him, breathing down his neck, but the only thing he feels is droplets of sweat trickling down his back. It could be Hawkins, standing somewhere in the room watching him, but this breathing seems too slow and peaceful. Nervously, he looks to the side, and even in the darkness of this room, he recognizes the silhouette of his fiancée sleeping next to him in bed.

The puzzle pieces seem to fall into place, mitigating the waves of panic as they go. He’s not at home, because he’s with the Santiagos, celebrating Christmas upstate with his in-laws-to-be and their many kids and grandkids. He and Amy drove here yesterday, celebrated Nochebuena with all her family, and they’re staying for Christmas dinner today.

Everything’s fine, he tells himself instead, and finds that he’s able to force his breath into the pattern Amy taught him after one of his first attacks. In, out. You’re not in prison. Inhale. You’re okay. Exhale. Repeat until it works.

 As his eyes become more and more used to the darkness, he’s able to make out the contours of Amy’s face. She’s on her side facing him, her hair draped across the pillow and her hands holding onto her part of the blanket. It doesn’t seem like he’s managed to wake her up. She’s fast asleep, and Jake pats himself on the shoulder for having learned to ride out the panic attacks on his own. It’s bad enough that he can’t sleep; he’s wrecked with guilt when it affects her, too.

He presses a kiss to her forehead. The corners of her mouth twitch into a small smile, and the aching in his chest is replaced by a comfortable warmth.

He’s careful not to try and disturb her when he gets out of the bed they’re sharing, finding a hoodie and a pair of pajama pants he’s thrown on a nearby chair, and sneaks outside.

 The snow shocks him. He’s used to a gray, rainy Brooklyn during December, a polar opposite to the Winter Wonderland surrounding their rented cabin. It's still a couple of hours away from daylight, but the porch lighting and bright snow are enough to make him feel safe. He scrapes clean a spot on the edge of the porch and sits down.

The air is cold in his lungs, but it’s the refreshing kind of cold, the kind that feels healthy and makes you realize how polluted the air you breathe on a daily basis is. It’s far from the signature prison smell of mildew and fear, far from the stuffy atmosphere in the courtroom during their trials, far from any of the memories that haunt him during nightmares and nocturnal panic attacks.

He’s safe. He’s free. He’s okay.

He grabs a handful of snow, squeezing it and feeling it shape after his palm. If someone had asked him during a night he laid awake in his cell, whether he thought he’d ever see snow again as a free man, Jake’s not sure what his reply would’ve been. There were a lot of things he wasn’t sure he’d ever get to experience, but here he is, living them. He forms the snow to an imperfect snowball, then throws it against a tree. It gives him an odd, childish sense of having achieved something, so he does it again.

 “Having a snowball fight with yourself, are you?”

He turns around to see Amy standing in the door opening. She’s in pajamas, bathrobe, and her winter coat, but despite her Michelin-man-like appearance, she still looks like she’s shivering when she sits down next to him, handing him one of two steaming mugs of coffee.

“I just needed to get some fresh air. Sorry, I tried not to wake you.”

“You didn’t. I only noticed when the bed got cold. You’re an excellent source of heat.”

“Where would you be without me?”

“I’d be colder,” she states simply. “And sadder. Worse in every possible way. But you know that. Let’s not talk about it.”

“Yeah. Let’s not.” He takes a sip from his mug. The coffee burns the roof of his mouth, but he can tell his cup has been doused with the perfect amount of sugar, so he keeps drinking. “What time is it?”

“Nearly six. I bet all the kids will wake up soon, and the quiet in this house will turn into chaos as everyone’s opening their gifts and trying to capture reactions and thanking each other,” she laughs. “Get ready for the annual Santiago Christmas chaos.”

“I’m excited,” he says with full honesty. If he had to think of a good opposite for prison, a crowded living room of families with children opening gifts on Christmas morning is a strong contender, and it’s made even stronger by the fact that he’ll have Amy by his side for it. “Merry Christmas, babe.”

“Merry Christmas.” Her face is cold, but her lips are warm from the coffee when she kisses him. “Now do you think we can go back in and snuggle under our comforter until we actually have to get up?”

 Jake doesn’t know if he’ll ever be free of the nightmares, but he knows that for as long as he’s laying forehead to forehead with Amy Santiago, pretending to complain when she rubs her ice-cold feet against his, tickling her as revenge just so he can make her laugh, they seem further and further away from reality.

 ~

 december 25th, 2020.

05.17 a.m.

 Although she's only been born for a mere five weeks, Jake’s already certain his daughter is a flat-out genius. For example, even though it's her first time celebrating, she's got one of the staples of Christmas celebrations down to a T; she's waking up far earlier than should be allowed.

 “She's way too excited about her presents to sleep,” he suggests with a yawn as the infant’s crying wakes them up for a third time that night. “Truly my daughter.”

“More like she's hungry and wanting attention,” Amy mumbles as she reaches for the nursing pillow, trying to find a comfortable position for both her and baby. “Still your daughter, then.”

“Guilty as charged,” he says, and in the low shine of the table lamp on her nightstand, he can see her rolling her eyes at him. Leah’s grunting in complaint as Amy takes a few seconds to unhook the strap of her nursing bra, bordering dangerously close to a cry when she can't seem to figure it out, but then it works. The sound of Leah's content suckling fills the room, bringing with it a novel feeling of peace they've come to know in the last weeks.

When she's crying, their hearts are shattering. When she's happy, they're floating on air. And because their daughter is barely a month old, they're on a constant rollercoaster between the two absolutes.

 “You can go back to sleep if you want,” Amy offers, not for the first time that night. “I’ve got this under -” She yawns. “Control.”

“I know.” He could, and considering the low total amount of sleep he's gotten this week, he probably should, but he has another idea. “This is nice, though.” Leah’s pajamas has reindeer heads on the feet, and he holds them in his hand. “I can’t believe it’s her first Christmas.”

“I think you’re more excited than she is,” Amy laughs. “We’ll see what she thinks about it after the two-hour car-ride to my brother’s place.” “She’ll sleep through it. You’ll worry.”

She grimaces, stroking her fingers over the tiny hand Leah is holding on her chest. “Touché.”

“Merry Christmas, babe.”

“Merry Christmas.” Amy stifles yet another yawn. “You don’t mind getting up with her while I close my eyes for just a little bit longer, do you? Or else I might actually fall asleep in the middle of Christmas dinner.”

“No, of course not.” Jake doesn’t tell her he was hoping she’d ask. He can’t risk ruining the surprise he came up with at work two days ago. For someone so sleep-deprived he almost took Charles’ lunchbox from the precinct fridge two days ago and was about to start chewing before Terry stopped him, he feels it’s some of his finest idea-work.

Leah finishes eating and Amy burps her, handing her over to Jake like she’s the most precious of goods - which, to be fair, is accurate. Their daughter finds her favorite spot with her head on his shoulder near immediately and he gets out of bed almost as fast, only stopping to give his wife a kiss on the cheek before leaving their bedroom.

 Even a year ago, he would have laughed in the face of whoever had told him he’d ever willingly wake up at 5.30. He would have called them insane if they’d suggested it would become the routine it has, or that he would like it. Every morning when he gets up for work, he’ll wake up extra early and take Leah for a couple of hours, giving Amy some undisturbed sleep and himself some quality time with his daughter. She is, without exception, in her happiest mood in the mornings. Sometimes she’ll give him what sort of resembles a smile if he makes a funny enough face, or she’ll wave her hands when he sings to her. Jake can’t imagine a better way to start his day - if he has to spend a whole workday away from her, at least he gets these moments first.

 He’s not going to work today, but he still has plans for their morning together. It’s the first-ever Christmas they’re celebrating as parents, which he figures calls for a more luxurious breakfast than their usual coffee and toast, and Amy may have suggested no big gifts this year, but she didn’t say anything about ones addressed from their daughter - loophole. She insisted they’d get a tree, though, so now there’s an over-the-top decorated fake tree in the corner of their living room with a whole of three Baby’s First Christmas-ornaments. Two of them were gifted by Charles. As was five other gifts, and he only stopped because Amy made him.

 “This is the Christmas tree,” Jake tells his daughter as he shows it to her for the one-hundredth time, only for the way her eyes light up when she gets close enough to see the lights and baubles. “It’s not real, because your mom’s allergic to those, but it looks pretty nice, right?” Leah coos. “Yeah, I know. We’re being extra this Christmas. It’s all for you, you know.”

“But it’s what you deserve,” he adds, kissing the top of her head and breathing in the baby scent he just can't get enough of. “Even though you’ll never remember this. I guess it’s mostly for us. But you’re a great excuse.”

She whimpers like she understands and is offended by what he’s saying, and he laughs at the timing.

“Don’t worry. It’s been fun. You’re going to have amazing Christmasses. I’m kind of jealous, actually.”

He sits down with her in the armchair placed in front of the three, putting his feet on the footstool so Leah can lay against his knees. “I never liked celebrating holidays much, because my dad was either drunk or just wouldn’t show up, so me and my mom were alone for most of them, which sucked.” Jake pouts his lip, and Leah moves her head in a way he decides to interpret as nodding. “You’re never going to have that. You’ll have gifts and people everywhere, a billion cousins to play with and food for days because your grandmother is an amazing cook. You’ll love it. I sort of feel like I’m getting revenge for all of my failed holidays by making sure yours are perfect.” He rubs his nose against hers in an eskimo kiss. She makes a noise that is not quite a laugh but leaning towards it, like she’s trying to figure the motions out. “I guess you could say we’re discovering the traditions together, huh?”

 The beauty of being an adult is you can make a new family with new traditions, a memory of Holt’s words from a Thanksgiving seven years ago comes to mind. Jake’s always considered the squad his family, and he’s made traditions with Amy in their years together, but he’s never been this excited about them before. He’s already humming to himself when he plays the Taylor Swift Christmas album on his phone, putting Leah in the baby bouncer and pushing it so it moves by itself. He googles the recipe and narrates his actions to her as he goes, mixing eggs with sugar and melting butter and stopping every now and then to bounce her seat again. He takes an involuntary break to change his daughter’s outfit, finding an even more festive one he couldn’t stop himself from purchasing when he walked past it in the store last week. It’s a baby Santa suit, complete with hat and all, and he takes about twenty-or-so pictures of her in it before remembering what he was doing before.

 It takes twice as long as the recipe suggests, but eventually, Jake’s looking at two plates of saffron french toast that’s only a little burnt, matching Super-Mom and Super-Dad mugs - also gifted to them by Charles - filled with an attempt at a gingerbread latte that he’s sure will taste decent with enough whipped cream, and the Christmas gift addressed from Leah is imperfectly wrapped sitting next to Amy’s plate. It might well be one of the proudest moments of his life, and he gives himself a mental pat on the back for being such a natural talent at the whole festive traditions-thing.

 He contemplates singing as they enter the bedroom. The idea falls flat, because he doesn’t know any Christmas songs well enough to avoid completely butchering them, and the act of balancing a baby, a gift and a coffee cup without dropping either is enough of a challenge, but he does manage some humming as they go to wake up Amy.

 He wonders if she’s heard them, because she sits up in bed way too fast for someone who just woke up, but she’s smiling at them with a glee that seems to erase all traces of exhaustion when he sits down on the side of the bed, handing her the coffee.

“You dressed her as Santa,” she laughs, tickling Leah’s belly with her free hand. “Oh my god, she looks so cute.”

“Bought the outfit myself,” he grins. “Merry First Christmas as a mother, babe.”

“I’m loving it. I thought we said no gifts, though?”

“It’s not from me, it’s from Leah. Loophole!” Jake half expects his wife to roll her eyes at him, but she simply grins wider.

“She might have one for you, too.”

“Oh, Lee. You shouldn’t have!” He shakes his head at his daughter, getting a confused look in return. “You’re too nice to us.”

“Well, she does keep us up all night.”

“True, true. She’s lucky she’s the cutest.” He kisses his daughter’s cheeks not for the first time that day. “She might have fixed another little surprise for you out in the kitchen. Well, her and I. Mostly me. But she was very supportive!”

This time Amy does roll her eyes at him, but affectionately, before putting down the coffee on her nightstand and reaching over to kiss him.

“Merry First Christmas as a dad, Jake.”

 He still considers himself a beginner in the area of Christmas traditions, but as he and Amy take turns eating their French toast and unwrapping their Leah-themed gifts while the other one bounces a suddenly fussy baby in their arms and Taylor Swift’s Christmas album keeps playing on a loop in the background, he’s certain he’ll be able to learn.

He’ll do anything for the two people who are already his greatest gift of all.

#my writing #b99 #brooklyn 99 #brooklyn nine-nine #peraltiago #jake x amy #b99 fic #brooklyn 99 fic #brooklyn nine-nine fic #b99 fanfiction #brooklyn nine-nine fanfiction #jake x amy fic #jake x amy fanfiction #peraltiago fic #peraltiago fanfiction

[hageny]

Succession Thoughts: Gerri x Roman

1. Humor.

There’s something that happens early in the series that is perhaps passed over as being noteworthy, but is an interesting glance in to why Roman and Gerri get on so well later on. When Tom is asking Gerri in Sad Sack Wasp Trap how she got the information that he was planning to go public with the cruise line allegations, Gerri very sarcastically tells Tom that she is sleeping with his mother, who has blurted the information out in her sleep. On the surface this is just a clever quip to break the tension between them, but it’s an unusual response from someone as aloof and quiet as Gerri. The flippancy of this moment recalls much of what comes out of Roman’s mouth, his habit of using sexual innuendo to ratchet up the tension, his delight in making others uncomfortable; there’s an interesting parallel between this moment and the moment a few episodes later when Roman tells Ken that Lawrence likes him more because, “I look like a matador and everyone wants to fuck me.” Humor of a sexual nature is an interesting fallback for both Gerri and Roman.

2. Dirty work.

In the Dundee episode, when the children are scheming about how to get rid of Rhea and diffuse the hold she has over Logan, Roman says something intriguing that he delivers in such an off-hand, low key way that it almost is easy to overlook. He tells Shiv--who later tells Tom--to have Rhea mention Rose in her toast to Logan. Rose is Logan’s sister, and what her fate/relationship to him is is unknown to us at this time, but from his reaction and the general information we derive from his childhood, one can deduce it is not good. This moment highlights another bit of Roman’s brilliance. He pawns the task of mentioning Rose to Rhea--knowing she has no clue the importance of Rose, or that mentioning her at all is a terrible idea--to his sibling, who then passes the torch to her husband. This is brilliant because had Roman said something to Rhea himself, the information might’ve gotten back to Logan, so he wisely uses Shiv, whose husband is under her thumb most of the time, to do the dirty work for him, likely knowing that Tom won’t mention the idea was Roman’s, and if he does no one would pay any attention anyway. Though he tells Shiv this, when we see Roman with Rhea, he is just charming enough not to arouse her suspicions, and pliant enough to keep her guessing as to what he truly thinks. Is he truly as charmed by her as he pretends to be, or is he simply mimicking Gerri in doing this? It’s hard to say, but like the later scene with Laird, Roman exhibits a level of cunning that is important to take note of, his emotional intelligence once again at play and helping to keep his hands clean.

3. Wife and Mother.

A curiosity I’ve taken note of in reading some fanfiction is that many fans seem to believe--and then depict--the marriage between Baird and Gerri as fairly idealistic, and her role as a mother as distant--to varying degrees--but ultimately loving. My opinion is quite different. The basis for this is the scene above the night before Shiv’s wedding when Shiv asks her godmother for advice and Gerri simply replies, “Oh I don’t know, I was never very good at that. My husband died. Don’t let him die?” . Her response is so curiously cold and flippant, especially considering Baird has passed on, that I think it needs dissecting. This is only the second time Baird is ever mentioned, and her daughters are only brought up once, at the very end of Season 2. We don’t know exactly what role Baird might have played in Waystar or how important he was, and much of his character is shrouded in mystery, but Gerri’s reaction in the above scene perhaps provides a clue. The fact that the first thing that Gerri thinks to say is, “I was never very good at that” is very telling, and allows some insight into her ability to self-reflect and report honestly on her own shortcomings. Given that the relationship between Shiv and Gerri seems almost non-existent, it’s even more unusual that Gerri would think to be so bracingly honest when lying would have been more comfortable. Even Shiv, by no means the softest, most emotional person, seems taken aback by Gerri’s coldness. Does Gerri’s saying, “My husband died” just after that indicate that on some level she blames herself for his death, feels that maybe she was not present enough in her marriage and not there enough for him when he ultimately did pass? It’s possible. It’s worth noting also that she never makes an effort to speak warmly of him. She mentions that he’s dead twice, but that is all she says about him, as though the whole of his character is wrapped up in a dead corpse. Is her silence ultimately more telling, revealing a darker truth that existed and impacted her in her union, turning her into what she is? My belief is that their marriage was quite far from comfortable and ideal, and that, while Gerri loved her children, she was not maternal enough to provide for them in the capacity they needed, and that Karl’s remark about her boarding them in first class on the company plane could have been a way of assuaging her guilt over failing them. This also allows us another peek into her bond with Roman, who is part lover to her and part son, of sorts. He is young enough and clumsy enough to be influenced and to need guiding, but strong and sure enough to take hold of her when she needs it and make her feel wanted. Perhaps the best of Gerri’s character traits--her kindness, her thoughtfulness, her generosity--finally find their home in her relationship with him, allowed to flourish in ways they couldn’t before. While she manipulates not only Kendall but her own goddaughter, she extends to Roman a level of love she possibly failed to provide even her own family. 

#gerri/roman #gerri x roman #gerri kellman #roman roy #succession #succession hbo #hbo succession #succession thoughts

[minbbydoll]

Can you write a sad angst where a maknae member (preferably Kook) sends his gf y/n to jail because of a misunderstanding(maybe like a fake murder of his family member, friend, or ex and they frame y/n). Soon he finds out the truth but y/n died before he found out the truth. Maybe she died from depression or was already sick but no one knew and she died in jail. This devastates everyone who went against her and they regret it so much.

Word Count : 4,508

Jeon Jungkook 

-

They say that love makes you do crazy things but Jungkook wouldn’t expect you to be the type of person to hurt anyone. You seemed so innocent, nice, and always forgiving but then again, you’ll never truly know someone and what they’re capable of.

Jungkook found himself wondering what went wrong on his drive over to your office, the countless days that you told him it would be okay and that he was going to catch the son of bitch that murdered his brother; it was you all along.

Jungkook tightened his grip on the steering wheel, he clenched his jaw and sped up a little still keeping within the speed limit. It took Jungkook awhile to come to terms with the fact that you actually killed his brother.

He went over the evidence again and again making sure that nothing was left unturned, but you still became the main suspect and out of all the suspects you were the unlucky winner.

He begged his coworker to let him arrest you, but the condition was he do it as soon as possible which was right now, Jungkook wiped the tear that fell from his eye as he parked outside your office and took a deep breath.

His heart was racing, he hasn’t been this nervous since he asked you to be his girlfriend but now, he was arresting you. Jungkook looked at his cellphone to see that he had to hurry so he opened his car door and nervously walked towards your building.

-

You missed your boyfriend, the sound of his voice, his warmth, his everything, it’s only been a few hours since you last saw him in the morning, but my god do you miss him like he’s been gone for weeks.

That’s the hold Jungkook has on you, he has the power to make you a lovesick puppy and according to him you have the same hold over him. You knew he’d be busy on the job but couldn’t resist a small little text, something simple, something to get you and him by until you see each other again when you both get home.

[Name] : I miss u, can’t wait to see u later and give u kisses. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) — 2:30pm

You smiled at the cringe worthy text you’d written up but decided to send it anyway, Jungkook always enjoyed your dirty comments and hidden dirty meanings about stuff you would say sometimes.

Jungkook usually replied instantly and the fact that he left you on read has you worried, even if he’s on the job Jungkook doesn’t hesitate to break the rules for you.

One minute turned into two and two into three and three into four and that four turned into ten minutes, you had never been so anxious before, you wondered if he was okay, was he hurt?

Was he just busy—, no, no matter what even if he was busy, he would have replied, he always does. You anxiously bit your nails, your mother always told you it was a disgusting habit you needed to stop but you couldn’t care less, biting your nails wasn’t something you could just stop, especially when you’re stressing like this.

You stared at your phone as you heard gasps run through your office, you switched from biting your fingernails to your lip as you continued to refresh your messages hoping to see a new message from Jungkook.

You didn’t bother to look up or tear your gaze from your screen as you heard mutters and gasps continue through your office, all you cared about, all that mattered right now was Jungkook.

You decided that another text would help your curiosity as to whether Jungkook was truly too busy to even look at your new text or whether he was just ignoring you for some reason you would find out about soon enough.

You flinched when a hand came to touch your shoulder, you finally looked up to see Jungkook, you smiled seeing him and initially you were confused but nonetheless happy.

His gaze was icy and held no smile he seemed so dull, you wondered why and also wondered why your coworkers were staring at the both of you and whispering, your heart racing in anticipation as Jungkook gestured for you to get out of your seat.

Jungkook was never rough with you and even if you hurt anyone, he could never bring himself to be forceful with you. “Kook, what’s going on.” You were surprised when Jungkook softly grabbed your hands and put them behind your back.

You tried turning to see him, but he held your wrists tightly before getting out his cuffs and placing them as gently as possible on your wrists. “Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law.”

You were for some reason trying to break the handcuffs by pulling your wrists away from each other in a fast motion, you’re not she-hulk you can’t break the metal handcuffs, but you continued to anyway.

“Kook, why are you reading me my Miranda rights, what the hell are you doing?” Jungkook didn’t tell you why but he just looked down and continued reading your Miranda rights.

“Kook, what the fuck?” You started to struggle and panic as he wasn’t unlocking the cuffs and you knew he wasn’t playing. “You are under arrest for the murder of Jeon Jung-hyun.”

Your eyes widened as your mouth gaped open, it was purely silent as he started to perp walk you. “His own brother,” you heard people calling you names and trash talking you as you let your head hang low.

Jungkook softly helped you get into his car, he couldn’t look at you, you were crying and just the sound of it made his heart clench in pain. “Kook, w-what’s happening?” He didn’t answer but started the car and closed his eyes for a second before pulling out of the parking space, this wasn’t going to be easy.

-

When the both of walked in you received dirty looks from other officers that you thought you knew well. “Jeon, I’ll put her in the cell you go take your break, you look like shit man.”

Another officer you knew as Hoshi had stopped by Jungkook and gave him a small nod to try and get him to go. Jungkook huffed, “Thanks Hoshi but I’m fine.”

Hoshi patted his back, “Come on man, I’ll do it, you don’t look so good. I’ll even cover for you so you can rest longer.”  Jungkook hesitated but nonetheless nodded, he had to admit he was so tired and hungry he could barely keep his eyes open and he didn’t even realize it.

Hoshi pushed Jungkook away and laughed when he almost lost balance, “Go rest Jeon or eat or find a way to do both.” Hoshi grabbed onto your arms and he unlocked the cell before unlocking your handcuffs.

You grabbed onto his arm just before he closed the cell door, “Hoshi please, you know me, you know I wouldn’t do this to Jungkook please.” Hoshi shook you off, he looked disgusted by just the touch of you.

“Listen [Name], all the evidence points to you, no one else is a bigger suspect, what am I supposed to do?” Hoshi pushed you further into the cell, “please Hoshi you know I’d never do anything like this.”

Hoshi held his hips and looked to the ground sighing before looking back up at you, “[Name] there’s nothing that I can do.” You held the cell bars tightly and tried to get closer, “Please Hoshi please don’t give up please continue to try and find something, anything. I love Jungkook, and I would never hurt him, you know that.”

Hoshi bit the inside of his cheek, it’s true he knows just how much you love Jungkook. He had gotten cold feet when he was going to get married and you were the one who found him, you were the one to tell him what love is like, and that’s how he know she was the one.

You told him how you felt with Jungkook, how you’d do anything for him, how he makes your heart race when he smiles and how you cry from just the thought of him leaving you.

“Okay, I’ll keep looking but it’s not a guarantee.”

You nodded vigorously, “I’ll take it, I am innocent I’m sure there will be something to prove it too.”

-

Everything went as expected, at your trial because of the evidence you were found guilty. Your lawyer did everything he could but whoever framed you was an extreme perfectionist from how well everything was planned out.

Your first day in jail you were scared and tried your best to keep to yourself, the others respected you enough to not mess with you, lucky for you no one knew you were betrothed to the man that put most of them in jail.

Everything was going smoothly until one of the guards stupidly let out that you were Jungkook’s girlfriend, “I still can’t believe Jeon’s own girlfriend got thrown in jail.” He said and sure enough you had eyes all over you as you stood in the middle of the lunchroom.

Another guard hit the one whom spoke too loudly, and he noticed the mistake he made, he didn’t realize how loud he said it.

You felt your heart beating fast, all the eyes on you, you gulped dryly the guards were looking at everyone in the silent lunchroom trying to ensure your safety.

It was silent so silent you could hear a pin drop, one woman who absolutely hated Jungkook made the first move. Unfortunately, she was the closest to you and unfortunately for you she had been planning to take someone out anyway, so she already had a shiv with her.

She swiftly charged at you and since your back was facing her when you turned it was too late, she plunged the shiv deeply into your stomach. The guards also charged for her, but they didn’t get to you in time, by then she had plunged the shiv into you three times ensuring your death.

You fell to the ground and the surrounding inmates kicked you, the two guards had tried to pull the other inmates away from you. When that didn’t work, they grabbed their batons and started to use force to get them away from you.

More guards were called but once they finally got all the inmates away from you, you weren’t breathing. The health care at the prison was shit so there was no use in trying to get you there, but they felt bad because you were Jungkook’s girlfriend and they knew you pretty well.

The guards still called an outside hospital and decided to let them officially call your death and also tell Jungkook because they weren’t going to be the ones to do it.

The guard who outed you decided he would ride in the ambulance with you, he felt absolutely horrible, even though you murdered Jungkook’s brother he knew how good of a person you were. You would try your best to bake or make food for the guards because you knew some of them would hardly eat.

In the ambulance you were barely conscious and had to wear an oxygen mask but at least there was still a chance. You were bleeding out too quickly and the paramedic tried everything he could, but you still died on the way to the hospital.

It was a given that would happen, the guards knew that you were going to die from how deep that woman stabbed you and how many times she did. There’s no way she didn’t hit a vital organ that caused you to bleed out so much and so quickly that it was unstoppable.

-

Jungkook slept for the day, in his dreams you were there, and everything was normal. Jungkook ones in his heart that he still loved you, he didn’t even visit you in jail it was too painful for him. He tried to rack his brain for answers as to why you would murder his brother; had he done something to you.

You weren’t just hurt anyone without a reason, right? Especially not murder, Jungkook preferred to stay in his dreams where you were and that’s why he wanted to kill whoever woke him up from his peaceful dream with you.

“Are you Jeon Jungkook, emergency contact of Park [Name].” It was a woman’s voice, probably a nurse and Jungkook’s heart dropped, why would you be in a hospital?

“Yes, who are you and why do you have her phone?”

The nurse sighed, “Please come to Bumin Busan hospital.”

-

Jungkook arrived to see a guard from the prison standing in front of the door waiting for him, “Where’s [Name]?!”

Jungkook pushed the guard up against the outside door, Jungkook was causing a disturbance but he didn’t care. “I’m sorry sir there was a problem at the prison-,” Jungkook cut him off by punching him in the face.

The guard fell to the floor with Jungkook on top of him, “What do you mean problem, it’s your job to prevent people from getting hurt!”

His only concern was getting to you, he never should’ve trusted the evidence, “Sir Jeon there’s something you should know.”

Jungkook’s phone interrupted the guard, Jungkook got off of the guard, “You are no longer any of my concern get out of here before I have you fired.”

The guard widened his eyes and nodded thinking it would best to have the doctor tell him about you. “Hello, Hoshi?”

“Jungkook you need to come to the station right away!” Jungkook winced a little from how loud Hoshi yelled from excitement into the phone.

“I’ll come by later, something’s come up.” Jungkook hung up on Hoshi before he could say anything else.

Jungkook didn’t care about anything else but seeing you right now and making sure that you were okay, he ran into the hospital and looked for reception.

His main concern was you, making sure that you were okay, he was going to have a lot of apologizing to do to you. “Excuse me, where’s Kim [Name]?” The receptionist looked up to see Jungkook’s worried expression, “Uh…what room is she in?”

The receptionist looked at him with pity, “Give me one second and I’ll call the doctor.” Jungkook blinked slowly and nodded before turning around, the receptionist called any available doctor to try and explain what was happening.

Jungkook was looking around the hospital and walked further away from reception, she took that chance to phone someone, anyone. Jungkook was far enough so that he wouldn’t hear her, but she didn’t take her chances and kept her voice low anyway.

“He’s right here, right now please get a doctor to tell him.” The receptionist couldn’t be the one to do it, she didn’t know how, what just plainly say that you died, he deserves better.

“Mr. Jeon a doctor will be coming shortly to fetch you and go into further details of [Name]’s condition.” Jungkook walked closer to the receptionist, “Listen I don’t understand what you can’t get through your tiny brain but all I need is her room number so I can see her.”

The receptionist understood how frustrated he was, so she bit her tongue, “I’m sorry Mr. Jeon but I think it’d be best for the doctor to explain-,” Jungkook slammed his hands on her desk making her flinch, “explain?! I don’t need an explanation I just want to see her.”

Jungkook flinched surprised when he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder, “please don’t yell at her Mr. Jeon she’s just doing her job, come follow me.”

-

“Okay Dr. Lee, can’t I just see my girlfriend?” Dr. Lee had brought Jungkook somewhere private and definitely not where you were, the space was empty and looked like a used old medical practice room.

“Listen Jungkook I’ll be frank with you, [Name] didn’t make it and I’m really sorry but the fetus inside her didn’t make it either.”

Jungkook felt lightheaded from what he heard, “P-pregnant?”

He tightly held onto the edge of a table trying to grip the reality of this, ���I’m sorry Mr. Jeon did you not know [Name] was two months pregnant?”

“You’re lying she would tell me; I did not put my two-month pregnant girlfriend in jail only to be killed.”

“I’m sorry Jungkook but it seems that way, we found an unborn fetus inside of her.” Jungkook shook his head furiously, “I’m sorry Dr. Lee I can’t deal with this right now I-I need to work-, I need to go.”

“Jungkook!” Dr. Lee called out for Jungkook again, but he just ran away, “ah Jungkook you don’t know what you’re doing.”

-

“Hoshi!” Jungkook looked through the room of the station to try and find Hoshi, he stopped in the middle of the room seeing everyone crowded around a board Hoshi pushed through to try and get to Jungkook.

“Isn’t it great Jungkook, we have evidence that [Name] didn’t kill Jung-hyun.” Jungkook fell to his knees with regret, disappointment, sadness, pretty much anything you can think of.

“No, no that can’t be true.” There’s no way he sent his pregnant girlfriend to jail, there’s no way he killed his pregnant girlfriend, the woman he thought he’d spend his life with.

He had gotten a ring just for her, “what’s wrong Jungkook this is a good thing, we can get her out.”

Everyone’s blood ran cold when Jungkook put his hands on the floor and lowered his head to the ground, “She’s dead.”

Jungkook was panting, he was so upset he couldn’t even cry instead he laughed, “she’s gone, my life is gone.” He laughed until he cried, and his fellow officers thought he was a madman.

“Jungkook I’m sorry-,” Jungkook jerked away when Hoshi tried to pat his back, “Don’t! She was pregnant Hoshi, I killed my pregnant girlfriend, the woman I was gonna marry, the woman I love I killed her and our unborn child.”

Hoshi gasped in awe, what could he say, why didn’t he find the evidence in time, you were pregnant? The entire station was silent and heard Jungkook’s confession, they were surprised that you were pregnant out of wedlock but that was forgotten when he mentioned that you had passed.

You were his bestfriend, you were there for him when he could’ve made the biggest mistake of his life and he just threw you in prison to let you rot, you didn’t deserve to die like that. “W-what,” Hoshi fell on his ass when it hit him too, why didn’t he find evidence sooner?

“S-she’s dead, [N-n-name]’s dead.” All of the officers looked down in desolation as Jungkook burst into tears like he was a lost child, and maybe that’s all he is right now a little lost child with no home, no comfort, no nothing, just his lonesome self and all he can do is cry.

Another officer tried to step up since Hoshi the only person who knew how Jungkook was feeling was in a lonely silent despair. “Jungkook we should plan a funeral for her and your baby.”

As soon as the other officers heard the younger say, “your baby,” they expected Jungkook to lunge at him and hit him for mention the poor soul, but he didn’t. Jungkook cried louder, “m-my baby, I killed my little baby.”

Hoshi just continued to stare blankly at the floor, “Jungkook, you didn’t kill them, someone else did because of you.” Another officer hit the younger and whispered, “you’re not helping.”

-

Everyone couldn’t tell whether Hoshi or Jungkook took your death worse, Hoshi was silent and so was Jungkook they were both inside a stage of pain and guilt. Neither of them left their houses, hell they didn’t leave their rooms.

A few of the officers decided to try and get them to get out of their rooms because not even Hoshi’s wife could get him out, he was just too dejected about not getting new evidence in time and everyone was worried about Jungkook because he didn’t have anyone (more like he wouldn’t let anyone in).

“Come on Jungkook [Name] wouldn’t want to see you like this.” Felix tried to pull the blanket off of Jungkook but Jungkook wouldn’t let go of it either, “Well she’s dead so she can’t see me like this, now get out.”

Felix sighed, “Jungkook please you couldn’t have known.” Felix kicked around beer bottles that surrounded his feet, “you can’t substitute beer for food Jungkook, we all messed up.” Jungkook sat up and harshly pushed Felix away and then started to hit his chest, “yeah but I should’ve known, I should’ve believed her, I should’ve visited her, but I didn’t.”

Felix tried to grab Jungkook’s wrist to stop him from hitting his chest, “please Jungkook stop this, there was too much evidence against her, you couldn’t have believed her.”

Jungkook shook off Felix, “Even if I couldn’t, even if the world was against her, it doesn’t matter I should have been there for her so leave me alone.”

With one hard push Felix fell to the floor, “I’ll leave you for now, I know you still need time to grieve.” When Felix left Jungkook pulled out his phone and looked at the last text he had gotten from you on that day.

He silently cried knowing that Felix was probably still in his house doing cleaning or something like that, if only he had done what he wanted to that day you wouldn’t be dead, he would have a beautiful child with you and he would be happy instead of cowardly hiding from the world to avoid seeing you everywhere.

-

Jungkook was freaking out just outside your building, how could he arrest you, did you really kill his brother, why would you do it, you wouldn’t, would you?

He heard and his phone ding and in came a text from you, he laughed and chose not to respond before turning away from your building and walking away.

Jungkook walked back to his car and opened the door, he sat in his car for a minute before deciding on quitting and running away with you.

Jungkook put his phone down, maybe it’d be best if he left with you first and then informed his officer that he was quitting. He’d have to go, and pack first and then get you and then leave, yeah that’s probably best.

Jungkook started his car, “Am I really letting my brother’s killer go free?” Jungkook shook his head, “No, no I have to throwing [Name] in jail isn’t going to bring my brother back.”

But on the other hand, she’s a murderer, I’m running away with a murderer.

But what if she really didn’t kill him, what if there’s something I’m missing?

But what if she really did kill him, my elder brother someone who I treasured and looked up to.

Jungkook continued to fight with himself trying to decide which choice was right and wrong, “I became a police officer to put bad people away and just because I love her doesn’t mean she gets to break the law.”

Jungkook tightened his fist around his steering wheel before slamming his fist onto his horn making a loud noise no one could hear since there was no one else in the parking lot. “Fuck, why is this so hard?”

Jungkook took a deep breath and turned off his car again, “Just because I love her doesn’t mean she gets to break the law.”

-

“I tried but he won’t come out,” Felix was talking with one of his seniors that asked him to try and get Jungkook out while he went to Hoshi. “It’s fine just clean up and make him food, make sure he eats, I’ll call you later to see how it goes with Hoshi.”

Felix nodded, “Hopefully he’ll finally talk, he hasn’t talked since he found out.”

Mingyu sighed, “Yeah I know,” he knocked on Hoshi’s door and hung up his phone.

Hoshi’s wife opened the door, “Oh thank god you’re here Mingyu he’s not even eating.” Mingyu scratched his head, “It’s that bad?”

She nodded, “I can’t get him to eat, he refuses to look at me, I don’t even hear him cry.” Mingyu nodded and stepped into their house, “Where is he right now?” She gestured for him to follow her and he did.

“Hoshi, Mingyu is here.” She softly knocked on the door with the back of her finger three times, she waited for any noise, any signal that he was okay with them coming in.

She didn’t hear anything though, “Hoshi?” Mingyu pushed her away softly and knocked on the door again, “Mingyu, we’re coming in.” They still didn’t hear anything but opened the door, Hoshi wasn’t in sight and their anxiety level began to rise.

“Hoshi?!”

She looked towards Mingyu, “I swear he was in here.” Mingyu put his hand up letting her know she didn’t have to say anything, “the bathroom.” Mingyu looked at Hoshi’s wife, she was walking towards the bathroom with shaky hands.

Mingyu beat her to the bathroom and tried to open the door, “It’s locked, do you have a key for it?”

She nodded and rushed out of the room, “Hoshi are you in there?!” Mingyu twisted the locked knob, he knew he couldn’t get it open, but he still tugged on it anyway.

“Mingyu I found the key, here.” She quickly threw the key to Mingyu, he caught the key and quickly opened the door, “Hoshi?!”

Mingyu ran into the bathroom to an indescribable scene, “Call an ambulance,” he managed to yell to Hoshi’s wife through his own shock and horror.

Mingyu tried (keep in mind tried) to pull Hoshi out of the bathtub filled with watery blood, “No, no stop let me die, I want to die.” Mingyu was appalled by this, how is he still alive?(Mingyu was thankful but shocked).

Hoshi resisted, “I want to die, leave me alone, go away.” Hoshi fought Mingyu but he was weak from blood loss, “I-I miss her.” A broken sob left Hoshi as his consciousness faded away, “I miss her too buddy.”

Note I : Okay so to the anon who requested I hope it’s okay I added this little plot twist of reader being pregnant, I thought it’d add more dramatic effect. Sorry I took so long writing this I have a lot of schoolwork I don’t want to do and I lowkey think I have ADHD but my mom doesn’t want to let me take a test to find out so I will forever be unable to focus. Anyway, hope you enjoy.  

Note II : My god I dragged this on way too long 😩I didn’t know how to end it. Forgive me anon if you didn’t like the ending 👉🏻👈🏻 and I feel like I haven’t posted in forever. ☹️

[ambidextrousarcher]

Sarcastic StarBharat Reviews: Episode 6: Bhishm’s self-choice ceremony

Tagging @avani008, @butchcaroldanvers, @chaanv, @medhasree, @ratnas-musings, @iamnotthat. Anyone else who wants to be tagged, please comment.

Thanks to @avani008 for the reblog with the amaze tags! Thank you, Avani didi!

The episode begins with an elaborate naming ceremony, complete with a ringing hymn. This generation of babies has naming ceremonies, the next one, on the Pandavas’ side, anyway, doesn’t. I don’t really remember the Kauravas, but man, imagine 100 freaking naming ceremonies in the span of a few days. Ouch. I feel pity for the pandits in that case. The part of the precap dealing with Dhritrashtra’s naming plays. Next, it is Pandu who’s named. CANON FAIL. Pandu is not named for the glow on his skin, he’s named for his paleness. When Ved Vyas um, copulates with Ambalika, she turns pale with fear, which is why Pandu is born pale, canonically. Satyavati instructs the Mahamantri to give Dakshina to the Guru. “Rajmata!” Ah, it’s Mr. Paragon of Perfection. Whatever this guy is going to do, please don’t think it’s canon, alright? He has a baby in his hands, clearly, it’s baby Vidur. “The ritual is not complete. The naming of this child is still left.” There’s a woman standing behind Bhishm, I think it’s Vidur’s mama. She’s silent. Satyavati is livid. “But he’s a servant’s…he’s Parashrami’s child.” Apparently, she is too regal to say ‘dasi-putr’ in open court. “He’s not just her child, he is the gift Ved Vyas gave us. He will grow together with the Princes as their younger brother. All three ladies look pissed, like they’d rather be somewhere else, but Bhishm doesn’t give them a choice. Satyavati reluctantly holds Vidur, as the Guru gives the baby his name. (BTW, isn’t honey harmful for babies younger than 6 months?) The ladies still look pissed, but Bhishm is smiling. Camera focuses on Psycho Princess walking through water. Then it switches back to Hastina, where Satyavati is giving daan after the naming ceremony, when she notices Psycho Princess. She has a “Oh, shit, not her again…” expression on her face. Ikr, Satyavati, really. This psycho Princess has a thing of turning up smack dab in the middle of happy events and ruining them, no? First a coronation, then a naming ceremony. Idk how she gets past Hastina’s sentries into the palace. Something is wrong with your sentries, Bhishm, go train them better! Everyone moves away from her (so would I, frankly. She looks crazy, plus like she hasn’t bathed in days, at the very least.) She reaches Satyavati and says that she’s here to give daan to Bhishm. What will he choose? Marriage or death? Wow. I’d choose death, and so shall Bhishm, especially if I’m supposed to marry a psycho who literally wants me to go to hell. Right now, he stands silently, as Satyavati ostentatiously asks psycho “What do you want? We’re still ready to welcome you into the family. Why do you choose this destructive path, instead of the happiness you can have as a member of Kuruvansh?” Okay, this does not happen in canon. By the way, how can she become a member of the family, by marrying a baby who’s her nephew? What the…this makes no sense to me. “What happiness did you give my sisters? The terrible experience of Niyog? An incomplete child?” Good question, also non-canon. Canon Amba never mentions her sisters, so this is kinda a good change. “I am looking forward to the true pleasure of Bhishm’s pride breaking in front of me. My heart is beating in the anticipation of that golden moment.” Alright. Peacock feather makes an entry and I poise my finger over the skip button. It’s yet another sermon on desire and revenge. Skip. Skip. Camera focuses on Bhishm galloping on a horse. He reaches Parashuram, who’s taking a weird spin effect now. Psycho Princess is behind Parashuram. How the heck did she reach there before Bhishm? Bhishm dismounts and moves towards Parashuram. “Stop!” “I wish to touch your feet, Gurudev…” Ah, I’m so getting Arjun vibes here. Okay, I need to stop Arjun fangirling, stat. He doesn’t exist yet. “I need to find out for myself if you are worthy of my blessings. Because the man who blesses a sinner sins himself.” Why am I reminded of Bhishm refusing to bless Arjun in the future after he marries Subhadra? Okay. No, this is not Arjun I need to talk about. Bhishm rather dramatically says that the meaning of his existence is to fall at Parashuram’s feet. Alright, why is this man so very much a drama queen all the time? Even Arjun would not say that, for all that he adored Drona a lot. “As for sinning,” continues Bhishm, “The very fact that you doubt me is enough of a sin for me. If I were not bound with Hastina’s responsibilities, I would have sought death this instant.” Goodness. Faced with this much fawning drama, Parashuram does a volte-face. “When did I say I doubted you, son? However, to settle this maiden’s doubts, I wish to take your test. War with me, Bhishm. If you are following Dharma properly, you will not be defeated by my hand.” “Then, would my Guru be defeated by my hand?” He sounds like he’s gonna cry. No, Nila. Don’t think about Arjun. No. Parashuram scoffs. “A Guru gets victory if he is defeated at a student’s hand. War against me! Just like a small blot dirties a white cloth, similarly, the smallest of complaints can dirty a man’s principles in front of the society. Lift your weapons and destroy the accusations.” Parashuram causes thundering with a hand movement, creating a bow. A fight commences, fireballs moving towards Bhishm as psycho Princess grins psychotically. Bhishm’s arrow explodes the fireballs, turning them into flowers. “Pranaam, Gurudev,” says he. Seriously? Parashuram pushes Bhishm twice, leading to him toppling off a cliff. Parashuram leaps after him, punching him. They land inside water. Don’t ask me how they can breathe in water, let alone run around and do fancy moves, and that too in armor in Bhishm’s case. Parashuram clocks an uppercut, landing Bhishm in a forest. “You are cheating, Bhishm!” “I cannot attack my Guru.” Be still, my heart. The melodrama is too much, I know. “You are disrespecting your Guru. Do you not believe in your Guru’s strength that you will attack and he will be defeated? This Parashuram is not that old yet!” Bhishm unknots his hands as Parashuram throws a tree trunk at him, which Bhishm punches into two. Bhishm tune plays. I repeat, canon is NOT this over dramatic Precap: Ganga is asking Shiv for help because the two warriors, Parashuram and Bhishm have lifted their weapons. Shiva makes a cameo. Camera focuses on a sleeping girl, her room filled with diyas. The diyas flicker out due to wind, making her start awake. “Sukhdha!” she calls.

#bhishm #extra-perfect student too #parashuram #psycho princess #amba #satyavati #entry of the three babies #dhritrashtra #pandu #vidur #ambika and ambalika #cameo shiv and ganga #sarcastic starbharat reviews #scribbler gets salty