#because let’s be honest

[neverenoughmarauders]

I can never enjoy the memes or stories where Hogwarts students wear the wrong house tie - because Hogwarts students don’t wear house ties!!! I’m so upset the movie has completely eroded other interpretations of the school uniform!

#harry potter canon #I’m such a nerd #and such a stickler for the books #anti marauders fanon #because let’s be honest #I mostly see this with Jegulus #which I anyways don’t enjoy #because wtf

[thebiggesttree]

If I were to give Bi Han a Redemption arc, I would either have Tomas almost die and have Bi Han freak out and realizing he does actually care for them but he just has some anger issues

OR!

Make Tomas (Almost?)Sacrifice themselves and Bi-Han starts to break down and realize he doesn’t want him to die

#mk1 #mk bi han #mk smoke #mk tomas vrbada #mk1 sub zero #notice how none of the two of the options are Angst #only one could end in a happy ending #the other will end in bittersweet in some way #also yes It’s just about Smoke #because let’s be honest #it’s gonna hurt more if Bi-Han realizes he does see Tomas as a brother

[hrtiu]

Padme is too pregnant to deal with this ****

#star wars #padme amidala #anakin skywalker #revenge of the sith #I drew her more realistically pregnant #because let’s be honest #she looks barely in her third trimester with a singleton #also I’m pregnant with twins #so this feels personal

[koroleva-nazyalensky]

Kamala Khan (my beloved) has chemistry with literally everyone. Like team Bruno for life obvi, I’m a sucker for childhood friends to lovers, but damn. She passes the mean girl in the hallway? Sparks. Hot new senior? You already know he’s betraying his family for her. A wild Aramis Knight appears? Just kiss already. She’s just that charming.

#kamala khan #ms marvel #am i projecting? #maybe #an avengers fangirl discovering she has powers? #who wouldn’t #but still #I will die on this hill #of course she’s going to end up with Bruno #we love Bruno #however comma #the way she has everyone wrapped around her finger and doesn’t even know #awesome #I’m not even going to say #at the risk of exposing myself as a shipper #because let’s be honest #everyone here already knows #jenna rambles #UPDATE!!!! #SOMEONE SAID ARAMIS KNIGHT IS HER MAIN LOVE INTEREST #AND I MIGHT BE HERE FOR IT??? #SOMEONE TELL ME IF THIS IS TRUE #SORRY BRUNO IVE BEEN OBSESSED WITH ARAMIS KNIGHT SINCE ALWAYS

[coconutsaiyan]

Bro i just got into argument with a Kataang anti and jesus they obsession they had putting it down was just sad😭😭😭They kept insisting that it was one sided and forced and straight up called it 'horrific' and that Katara is motherly to Aang even after i told them that it makes me uncomfortable as a woc/black woman to say that because she's literally 14.They even said 'Not as bad Kataang' when i pointed out S*kka is objectively worse written but they stan it anyway💀They were so mad for no reason

Common sense ain’t common lol. Anyone who says kataang was one sided clearly didn’t watch the show properly or are just in denial. The secret tunnel was easily the most blatant evidence for it.

S*kka (while I like it) has crumbs for development compared to kataang.

The antis don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about and just make shit up. Don’t even bother with them 😂

#anti zutara #because let’s be honest #they probably ship that too #kataang defense #aang #katara #sokka #suki #kataang

[colorfulstrawberrykid]

Don’t you just love how the self professed “English major” in the fandom doesn’t understand the concept of multiple interpretations? It’s a completely valid interpretation to say Rayla “should” have learned to trust the people around her and that her actions were a reversal of that arc.

#Tdp #rayla #callum #snake boi callum #because let’s be honest #if you’re peddling an unorthodox theory about callum #You really don’t have a leg to stand on when bitching about people talking about a very common theory about rayla

[justisco]

ily but sometimes it’s ok to keep your mouth closed

#because let’s be honest #we won’t

[beangirl73047]

ADOPT A THERAPIST WHITEBEARD!

#how has no one thought of this #wtf #just do it #one piece #Whitebeard #adoption #kidnapping #because let’s be honest #they’re the same thing to him #therapy #please

[pagegirlintraining]

WIP tag game

Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

Thanks @ishotforthestars for tagging me. I actually ended up rediscovering two WIPs I’d nearly forgotten about 😅 anyway, here goes:

A Fucking Royal Wedding

Stockholm Reunion

From Simon With Love

DTL - Epilogue

Street Musician Simon

Fuck The Monarchy And Other Hits

Passing this on to @the-amber-fox @simons-purplehoodie @girls-are-weird @miss-shirley @zee-has-commitment-issues and @ladyarrowhead in case you guys are up for it :)

#wip tag game #i feel like ​most of these give away so much already #yr fanfic #because let’s be honest #I don’t write much else currently #feel free to ask about any of these

[softestaries]

Violet Bridgerton is truly gods strongest soldier. Every season she tells one of her children they're in love and every season they scoff in her face before causing seven different scandals to reach the same conclusion.

#bridgerton #bridgerton season 3 #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #violet bridgerton #this is specifically targetting #polin #because colin just courts scandal lets be honest

[lgbtlunaverse]

The world exists in such a baffling state of simultaneous sex-aversion and sex-hegemony. Every social platform on the internet is trying to banish sex workers to the shadow realm but I can't post a tweet without at least two bots replying P U S S Y I N B I O. People are self-censoring sex to seggs and $3× but every other ad you see is still filled with half-naked women. Rightwingers want queer people arrested for so much as existing in the same postal code as a child and are also drumming up a moral panic about how teenage boys aren't getting laid enough. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

#it's bad if you want i have sex it's also bad if you DON'T want to have sex #god forbid if you're a woman in a heterosexual marriage and aren't in the mood #that's 'withholding sex' and you're clearly abusive scum who should be divorced and left without any of your shared assets. #but if you DO have sex now you're a degenerate freak plotting for the downfall of western society #i don't know what to say i'm just so tired #politics #culture #queerphobia #lgbtqia #misogyny #<it's not the exclusive source but let's be honest sooo much of this is integral to the patriarchy #patriarchy needs access to an underclass they can treat like sex objects but they also don't want them to have any human rights #so sexuality is both obligatory and stigmatized #purity culture #i'm really struggling with tagging this because most of the appropiate tags would- in a beautiful twist of irony- get me booted off tumblr

[callisteios]

Hi, feel free to take my new uquiz to discover what kind of vampire you are!

#NO IM NOT TALKING ABOUT CHESS THE MUSICAL I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT IS. I AM TALKING ABOUT THE ANCIENT BOARD GAME:CHESS #uquiz #vampires #twilight #because let's be honest there are a fair few references #and maybe this is my twilight quiz which has been in my drafts for nearly a year! #and i was tired of it sitting there #maybe! #quiz #werewolves #mention #you can get human in this im really sorry #it's a bit of a mean result #oh if anyone has an actual picture of the vampire that killed dean winchester please send it along #i could not find it with a cursory google search but i rememeber he wore a clown mask #so maybe one of those guys is the guy?

[britishassistant]

Trick or Treat? (I'd be fascinated with whatever you want to share!)

Aah, thank you so much!! Happy Halloween!!

And for your treat…well, here’s a crossover between Hannibal and the Magnus Archives that’s been sitting in my notes for years now. Hope I got the characterization right!

Warnings for character death, Hannibal-typical mindfuckery, and Flesh-typical ideation of cannibalism.

The forest around Wolf Trap is dark and deep.

Will can hear the crunch of hooves nearby, stepping delicately over packed leaves and loam.

But…something’s off.

The forest is too quiet. Even at night, there should be insects and movement, the song of birds of prey feasting in the dark.

There is a silence. Too deep, too thick for it to be normal.

The silence of a predator stalking.

Prepared to strike—!

The forest bursts into noise. The crunch of claws over leaves. The patter of darting hooves. The snarls and snaps of toothy maws.

Abigail, eyes wide and wet and frightened as they stare down at him, stifling sobs.

The Ravenstag bolts.

Teeth lunge, snap.

Bring it down.

The meat is left unfeasted on, to fester, to rot.

Will Graham wakes up on a sofa.

It is not his sofa. He could never own anything as plush and luxurious as this, firm packed goose down supporting him even as it cradles his weary body.

He’s at Dr. Lecter’s then. But how? The last he can remember, he was at Wolf Trap—

There’s the smell of something burning.

Will pushes himself up, hobbles over to the kitchen.

Four dinner plates, stacked neatly on the countertop.

Forks, not nearly so neatly posed, scattered as they are. Silverware drawer still slightly ajar.

There are the trimmings and trappings of a meal. Root vegetables, sliced wafer thin. A dirty bowl, smeared with the remains of oil and herbs and spices. A hunk of unidentifiable meat, waiting on a chopping board and glistening pink with its own juices and marinades.

Another, larger joint going black in the pan.

Will switches off the heat.

Something prickles down his spine that Will can’t name. Doesn’t want to name.

“Doctor?” He calls. “Dr. Lecter?”

Something crunches underfoot.

There’s broken glass on the floor.

Will follows the trail to one of the windows

Dr. Hannibal Lecter is lying in his foyer, the front door wide open. His eyes are wide, mouth gently parted.

No need to check him for a pulse, part of Will thinks hysterically.

Not when his throat’s been so violently savaged only the vulnerable vertebrae and cartilage of his spine still attach the head to the rest of the body.

Hannibal leans against the filing cabinet, full of easy grace.

“Tell me, Will.” He asks quietly, gently. “Why do you think that I was killed?”

Will exhales, shaky.

You aren’t supposed to talk to hallucinations.

Julia Montauk does not look like she has the right to be Hannibal Lecter’s killer.

A tall woman who somehow manages to make the orange jumpsuit she’s wearing look scruffy. Running the edge of one filthy nail under the other, trying to scrape out the black remains of god knows what. A rangy tenseness to her frame, a false show of casualness that betrays her eagerness to strike.

Will feels bile boiling in his stomach at the sight of her.

“You can hear it too, can’t you?” She leans forwards, eyes blown wide. “The call to chase down those bastards that think they’re top dog. To make ‘em quiver, make ‘em scared, make ‘em run. To Hunt.”

For a moment, Will feels a sharp cold across his face. An itch in his trigger finger. The specter of Garret Jacob Hobbs stares out from her face.

Hannibal’s hand comes down on his shoulder with all the force of a slammed door.

Will’s stomach roils in protest.

“Those who have suffered abuse in childhood oft-times find themselves trapped in relationships with a new predator during their adult lives.” Hannibal tilts his head. “Why do you think that is?”

Will shoots him a glare. “…This better not be a weird form of victim blaming.”

A flicker of a frown passes over Hannibal’s face. Recrimination. “Will. Being obtuse does not become you.”

Will raises his hands in mock surrender, then pauses to think about it.

“…Those who prey on others look for insecurities. Vulnerabilities.” He says slowly. “Chinks in armor that they can twist themselves into. Survivors have those because they’ve been through more battles than most.“

Hannibal nods, a pleased smile spreading over his face. “And often lack the proverbial blacksmith who would reinforce said armor for the battle with the next dragon. How could any wyrm resist such an opportunity?”

“So, what?” Will busies himself drying Buster, trying to ground himself in the scent of wet dog and the feeling of damp fur. “You’re saying that these…these things and their ‘avatars’ are coming for me because I’ve had the misfortune of surviving one of them?”

“Hyenas pride themselves on stealing from those greater than them.” Hannibal stands, walks across to examine the bookcase behind Will. “Many of the entities, the Hunt and the Eye among them, delight in tormenting those who have escaped greater threats than they.”

Will gives an absent nod as he chews his lip, wholly unprepared for Hannibal to continue, “Or those who serve them.”

He stops.

Buster lets out a whine, nudging his nose against Will’s shoulder.

“Wait.” He twists, stares up at Hannibal. “You aren’t saying. You, you weren’t—?”

Hannibal smiles, indulgent and proud.

“No.” Will insists. Denies. Pleads. “No, you’re. You’re a hallucination. You’re in my head.”

“And it took so long to put myself there.” Hannibal purrs, stride slow and purposeful as he stalks towards Will. “So many meals, only the choicest morsels for someone as dear as you. To whet your appetite. To feed the impulses I saw could free you. To know you as intimately as I wished you could know me.”

He kneels as Will rears back, hands slippery with sweat. “And you, my dear Will, you ate so well for me. You partook.”

His hands are warm as they cup Will’s face. Too warm. Much too warm for what should only be a hallucination, a ghost, a memory—!

“For my Flesh is food indeed and my blood is drink indeed.” Will quotes, without quite knowing why. Without letting himself understand why.

This close he can see every wrinkle in Hannibal’s face that crinkles with delight, with undisguised affection. “I wish we had more time. More chances to prepare you, to nourish you before we were set upon by scavengers. But you will not be alone, Will. I will never let you go hungry.”

The scents of Hannibal’s dinner table fill the small house. A communion, for the two of them alone.

Saliva bursts in his mouth.

“Let me be your armor, dear Will.” Hannibal whispers. “And we shall feast on any who presume you to be prey.”

#shachaai #hannibal #hannibal au #the magnus archives #tma #tma au #crossover #hannigram #the flesh #because let’s be honest #Hannibal would so elevate the brand of flesh avatars #the flesh’s special little boy #trick or treat #starting off with something spooky!

[soupwife]

now its time to bring the haterism

if you think multiple are bad vote for the one you hate the most <3

#not including dragon age 2 because its not actually critically acclaimed #kinda flopped in that arena sadly because it is actually a great game #despite its MAJORRRRR flaws lets be honest with ourselves today my dears #mass effect #skyrim #dragon age #fnv #polls

[lazylittledragon]

i refuse to believe that boycotting is hard. my favourite thing in the world is ordering maccies after a late night at work/a concert/getting drunk. yes i do miss it sometimes. but the other night i ordered from a small place near my house instead and it was the most orgasmic burger i've ever had in my life. i very rarely say this but fucking suck it up people are DEAD

#ramble #also only 0.29 delivery instead of 3.99 #and chilli cheese bites #i swear to god the best food you'll ever eat while drunk is from the tiny shithole that's open until 4am #if you're refusing to do literally the smallest thing you can do to help then i have questions #it's FOOD. you'll survive #it's not even NECESSARY food #if it was like a chain grocery place and you don't have access to anything else then i would understand #but it's just NOT #make your own coffee for the love of god #when there is NOTHING you can do to stop this fucking tragedy. and let's be honest there isn't a lot normal people can do #and people say to you 'do this insignificant thing just to show that you even CARE' #and you DON'T do that???? what is actually wrong with you #also i've been worried about this since my last post about sbucks but this is Not an attack on the people who WORK at the boycotted places #because it is an absolute privilege to be able to leave your job and immediately find a new one

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 185

No one could get into contact with Constantine. 

Now usually that wasn’t that big of a deal, the man constantly disappeared for a few days at a time doing something or other, but he’d been completely silent and unseen for months. Usually he’ll at least answer a call to tell them to fuck off or something. 

And they really need his expertise and are getting incredibly worried for their grumpy team member. Yes he’s an asshole, but he’s their asshole, y’know? And he has a habit of getting into Situations (sure he also usually gets out of them, but what if he didn’t this time?!) 

So they’re desperate. Kind of really desperate. Desperate enough to use the summoning sigil they found on his fridge. They’d checked it, multiple times, and it should summon the hellblazer. 

“You’re not Constantine.” . 

The white-haired teen in the circle yawned, stretching and blinking at them blandly with familiar blue eyes before sighing. “Actually I am,” he stuffed his hands into his hoodie as he looked down at the summoning circle. “Well, technically just one of the many Laughing Magicians currently in the Realms.” 

He gave a grin, looking more amused than annoyed. “Pretty much every one of us is in the Realms right now for family reunion lol. (Did he just say lol out loud??) So like, you’re gonna have to specify which of us you’re tryin’ to summon. Honestly perfect timing for me thanks, the fruitloop keeps flirting with John and it’s horrific so.” 

… That was probably their John, wasn’t it…

#dcxdp #dpxdc #prompts #The Constantine Family exists for fucking over entities & manipulating luck #They adore this scrappy halfa who is doing the same with twice the feral #Danny: Yeah I’m like the changeling child that ended up in the middle of them and they just kept me for the laughs lol #Danny: I’m not allowed to join in the drinking competitions #Danny: Oh no it’s not a responsibility thing; alcohol doesn’t affect me and they say it’s cheating #Why Yes Vlad IS flirting with their Constantine #He’s started his redemption but let’s be honest he’s also a con-man & John is all for fucking over the rich #Danny is disgusted at how well they’re getting along and wanted to get away from their flirting while everyone else ribbed at em #Hence why when they all felt the summoning he decided to go #Well that and also for the laughs because he’s learning magic Undead Constantine style #”Fuckin 'ell yeah the family 'as a necromancer in 'he line again look a' 'im go!” (Lots of ghost & living people drunken cheering) #Danny only half fucking with people: Yeah I’m like their collective undead fae child lmao #danny fenton #john constantine