#because ive thought before 'oh he should be gone awhile'

[bastard-man]

s13:

hi okay i kept talking in the tags on my last post so here is more about s13 predictions ig

like i said we all know den literally can't function without mac it's been proven several times in the show

CLEARLY in mac & dennis break up

& my thought is how this will affect s13

so like,,,they're lying if they're gonna try & pretend like dennis can actually cope w/o mac if anything i think he needs him more than ever rn. even if dennis miraculously developed quickly & amazingly enough 2 be a dad that doesn't change how much he depends on mac. boy couldn't live without him in s5, and he was still like, okay then? obviously none of these characters r okay but i've seen only a few ppl mention dennis in the latest seasons. consequently mac seems happier this past season especially now that he's out which is great (i mean then u have DDL & then that kinda shattered but let's not mention that rn) but like we know dennis has been like,,,ragin' a lot more & he was diagnosed in s10 & we haven't really seen him happy in awhile like compared 2 earlier seasons when he seemed more calm & happy. what he thinks he needs is to leave his old life behind but what he actually needs, probably, is the gang rn more than ever but ofc he's not gonna admit that! so he run!

there's a number of reasons why i can't see them letting den be gone for any length of time but the main one being that it just doesn't make sense? like frank said u can't just go be a dad & he was right, & even if i think dennis could be capable of that it's obvious he's getting Worse & to be away from his friends, his family rn is not gonna help that, especially when we know he would be miserable in ND which is literally essentially what he says in 10.01 when he gets off the plane. i'm not a dumbass who thinks he's a sociopath & i know he has big feelings but i still don't see this being a situation where a child is magically the thing 2 crack dennis & fix all his problems

so like, there's my argument based on just the POV of the setting. now let's go back 2 den himself. like i said it definitely seems like he's getting worse, & him admitting that he has feelings was a huge, pivotal thing for him especially to admit that to the entire gang. from there they could use that to finally get den's character to open up a lil more & not try to suppress everything which i think is essentially why he seems worse? he wants to be one way & not feel & it's affecting him as it has over the years. we also know from mac, that he's been distant w him. whether u ship them or not they have a connection that's different from all the rest. so mac senses that den is acting different& like pushing him away, & we know it's not bc he's gay cuz den always knew that. this is where theories come into play, cuz it could have to do w den's feelings & trying to push the gang away so that he can pretend everything is okay which i think is a reasonable guess, or if u wanna add another layer to that there's also been the mention of him being uncomfortable with mac being out because now he's scared of mac's feelings & his own feelings.

it could be bc of the thing b/w them, or just the different connection that they have, but mac is the only one who says anything about dennis being distant. so is he only being distant w mac, or do the others just not notice bc they're not mac? either way mac is the one who notices & he's gonna be the first one to notice things going on w dennis. den has been like on a downward spiral almost & i think the RPG & brian jr just brought that to a head, & he runs, supposedly 2 deal w the latter. (i'm sorry i'm referring 2 a fuckin baby like it's a war crime but i don't evenl like them anyway so it's fine)

like depending on how u wanna interpret it, RPG=dennis realizing how he feels about mac, or how mac feels about him, or just the fact that he was all upset about vday only 2 find out mac got him what he wanted more than anythin & it didn't even matter 2 him that there wasn't a rocket bc it was the gesture so i mean interpret that how u will but FEELINGS

& then brian jr=who he apparently knew about but only becomes a problem bc mandy all of a sudden decides 2 show up & also thinks he's someone else so i really still don't understand some of the logic behind this event but anyhow. he's like noticeably v on edge this ep bc he literally had no idea how 2 get out of it & then all of a sudden he's like wait no i don't want to, but that's not the only thing? pretending to be in a relationship w mac & mac telling him he wanted 2 fake it & raise the kid w him was obviously also adding onto that & still his response was "im not gonna PRETEND to be in a relationship w u for the entirety of my child's life" so again interpret that how u will but...obviously we know he decides 2 go raise brian jr

but he's not gonna be able to do that. not bc he's not capable. i'd like 2 point out he left everyone & everything behind including his RPG & his beloved range rover, so i mean he prob left everything at his apartment too. (i have some theories bout this but it is not the time for those) like his car. is still in philly. his decision is made essentially on a whim after a moment w his kid & like an existential crisis while his friends danced around him bc up until that point he just didn't wanna deal w it

so it could've been like a few hours b/w those scenes but it's still a pretty impulsive decision considering it's a child, a new state you don't even like, a lovely woman ur not interested in, and leaving your friends, family, job, and entire life back in philly. maybe he also thinks it'll help him w his feelings. but he's been repressing shit for at least 12 years that we've seen (we know it's been longer like prob his whole life) & noticeably been getting worse, gives a sudden revelation to his friends about his feelings, & then leaves. that's not...okay. like we know they all have trauma & ridiculously unhealthy coping mechanisms but even if u take everything else away he's not gonna be happy having suppressed all his emotions and problems & then leaving having barely dealt with them w the others at all.

especially mac, who's a huge part of this which u can't deny even if u don't ship them. now i do so like my comments are gonna sway a bit more but i think it'll still work even if u don't agree w me on that aspect. personally i think there could be some sort of parallel there about how mac has gotten happier, while dennis has been more unhappy? like mac comes out & u could even argue dennis being jealous & acting that way bc he wants 2 come out & he's been suppressing that for so long but he's still not at a place rn to do it. or even the fact that mac feels more open & free to be himself while dennis feels the complete opposite & if anything has felt like repressing things even more, while mac mentions being sensitive (12.08 hints he feels more free 2 be sensitive now that he's out & doesn't have 2 worry about being so masculine so that he won't be called gay) & dennis mentions his big feelings but he's still not rlly talking about anything bc i mean u don't really just reveal everything suddenly. so especially in that regard he definitely needs mac.

like not only bc of their connection but bc he depends so much on mac & now mac feels more open & honest & i really think den needs to be around him more, not pushing him away (which could also be why) bc he needs to see how much happier mac is & how he's changed & maybe it'll help him open up more, & if anything mac would probably be the best one for him to do that w anyway.

i'm also gonna mention my sort of views on some ways den could come back: now considering his car was still there i think it could even be possible that mac goes home to their apartment to find that dennis is still there, maybe just waiting or maybe packing, who knows. them blowing up the range rover & using the RPG without him only to find that he hadn't left yet, or at all is definitely something i could see happening (& i know this is a more serious post about den but come on i think we'd all laugh @ that) or the thing i definitely see happening is the gang talking in the bar, who knows how long it's been (maybe a day, maybe a few months) & all of a sudden dennis strolls in and says nothing, walks behind the bar & grabs a beer while the others just stop talking and stare. cue title card "dennis is back" (tbh this is one of the most realistic ones i think & i know glenn mentioned it might be funny if he just didn't come back at all but i think this is vastly more funny & in keeping w the show i mean come ON) or there's like the sad part. this again could depend on how u wanna view things. but if u look at it as dennis going on a downward spiral, only for him to kinda hit rock bottom w the RPG & brian jr. (which isn't even a theory that's literally what happened) then we know this isn't good. it's not a typical situation where they leave on good terms, or they leave happy because we know he wasn't happy. we know he initially didn't want this & isn't ready & we know he hates north dakota, & we also know it's not like he's in love w mandy or anything no matter how nice she seemed, as the person he was closest to was: mac. so it's not like he's really leaving for a better lifestyle either necessarily, because he may have mentioned envisioning himself getting married & having a kid but we saw how it went when he married someone he didn't love, and how he again was unable to function without mac, and it's obviously not how anyone plans on those things happening, & if they did have him settle down w mandy which i do not see ever happening we know he'd literally be settling.

so for him to have been going through a rough patch, to hit an extremely low point & then walk away from his friends, is not going to end well. he hit that low point & is now leaving without dealing with any of his problems because his focus is on fixing one of them: the kid, but also how he was affected by frank because he doesn't want the kid to grow up in that same way. so he thinks that's the most important issue, because he also likes to pretend he doesn't have any other ones, & thinks this is the thing he needs to deal with and everything will be fine. but he didn't deal with anything else, he's only bringing those problems with him, to north dakota, to mandy, to the kid, to his "new life." so if anything he's only gonna be more miserable and he won't even have mac there w him, who he literally depends on to function & considering he's only getting worse being w/o mac is the last thing he needs even if he thinks, or wants to believe that that's exactly what will help. idk how they're gonna deal w him being gone, if he's gone for any length of time or anything, but my point is if he's stated to be gone for months or something like that i'm pretty sure he's gonna come back at the worst we've ever seen him because he was only without mac for hours before he realized he had no idea what to do & they were only, what, a few miles away? part of all this is that he's codependent but that is most heavily dealing with mac. s5 dennis was still doing pretty okay, considering. so him not functioning without mac was just pathetic. s12 dennis has been a mess & him being without mac at arguably his lowest point is kind of scary to think about.

#im sorry this is SO LONG #but...yeah basically #some of y'all thought den was dark #but if hes gone for any length of time... #like hes gonna be sad as shit #& this isnt me being like omg he cant function w/o mac! #cuz like. #he literally cant. #theyve said this. #it isnt a joke #its not me saying it bc theyre so in love #its like..a direct result of dennis' bpd #mac happens to be the one he really relies on #that would be where id say the love comes in but #yeah #i really hope they dont do that #because ive thought before 'oh he should be gone awhile' #like maybe he'll develop more w the kid & everything #or that it'd be interesting to see the gang respond to life without him #but then i think about this #i hope they bring him back like right away like i said #cuz otherwise the only logical response from den being gone for awhile is for him to be like...Bad #ive seen fics mentioning like self harm & suicide (TW) & i've thought well i dont see that happening or thats too dark... #but honestly when i've written this all out i'm thinking it's more likely than not #& im not a psychologist im not claiming to be but i do get his character a lot bc we're very similar in that aspect like how we deal w thing #basically den needs to come back & ASAP bc its not gonna be good for him if he doesnt #dennis reynolds #macdennis #dennis needs him like now more than ever

[retroaria]

Sapnap: Fluff Alphabet

cc!Sapnap x reader

pronouns: gender neutral

warnings: just swearing

here’s my 500 Follower Event ^o^

A is for Affection (How do they like to show affection?)

sapnap would give you so many compliments omg. he loves making you all smiley and blushy :) he just wants to make sure that you are always aware of the fact that he thinks you’re the most perfect thing to ever exist

B is for Bond (What kind of bond do you guys have? What could your relationship be labeled as?)

the best friend couple!!! sapnap tells you literally everything. any drama going on or any strong emotions he’s feeling, you know about it. most of the time, the second something happens his brain immediately goes “omg i have to tell y/n”. you guys always complain about the same things and get excited over the same things. you are genuinely one of the most important people in his life and he doesn’t know how he’d do it without you.

C is for Comfort (How do they comfort their s/o?)

he will literally drop everything just to hold you and not speak for like hours if you so needed. he strikes me as a naturally comforting person to the people he really cares about so I say he gets an A+ in this department

D is for Dates (What are dates with them like?)

dates with sapnap are either really chill or super fun. he’s the type of guy that would take you to play laser tag or to an arcade or a trampoline park. he’s like a little kid i love sapnap :3

E is for Emotions (How do they express their emotions around you?)

he’s a pretty expressive person when it comes to certain things. at the very least he definitely wears his heart on his sleeve a little so it isn’t hard to tell even if he does try hiding stuff. and like I said he tells you everything.

F is for Fiancé (How long into the relationship before they propose?)

I feel like he’s so young and he really just wouldn’t be thinking about that too seriously for awhile. like he loves you and you guys have talked about having a future together but he isn’t in any rush at all. hell just do it when he feels is the right time not matter how long it takes.

G is for Gentle (Are they gentle?)

it depends on the situation. he’s definitely the type of guy to pick you up from a super comfy position and just body slam you on the bed. but if he can tell you’re not in the mood to play around like that he’ll just sit down and hold you, so yeah he can be gentle. but most of the time be prepared for playful fist fights and getting picked up and thrown every now and then lol.

H is for Hand Holding (How do they like hand holding?)

sapnap always holds your hand. in fact he makes an effort to search for it whenever you aren’t holding hands. and sometimes he’ll even get whiny about it especially with like a lot of people around he’ll be like, “babe, why aren’t you holding my hand :( what if I get lost how are you gonna find me this place is big”

I is for I Love You (Who said “I love you” first?)

he did !! the first time sapnap said “I love you” was probably one of his most confident moments. he was so proud to be able to say it and so sure of himself and his feelings for you.

J is Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

YES OH MY GOD. he gets super jealous and it’s so easy to tell omg. his attitude starts to get like super bad and he is very clearly annoyed by the situation. he won’t ever be too overbearing about it and if you ever feel like he is once you sit him down and explain that he’ll back off a bit. but he’s still gonna be bothered by it so just always remind him that he love him and no one else.

K is for Kiss (What’s kissing them like?)

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IM ACTUALLY GOING TO BE DESCRIPTIVE SO IM SORRY IF ITS CRINGE. anyways, he’d be a pretty deep kisser but not like full on making out every single time. he just likes to make them last and he isn’t one to just give you random kisses all throughout the day so it always feels special. kissing him makes you feel all warm and happy inside.

L is for Love Language (What’s their love language?)

sapnaps love language is quality time or acts of service!! i’d say mainly quality time. even while long distance he just likes having you on call while he does stuff or even just complaining to you about how tired he is while actively not going to bed so he can keep talking to you lol. he just likes having you around it’s a huge comfort for him. i say acts of service because he would get so giddy and happy anytime you did something special for him. he would show it off and brag about it forever and it would genuinely mean so much to him aahhajdxh i love sapnap

M is for Memories (Their favourite memory with their s/o?)

For your first time seeing each other irl, sapnap flew to where you live and you guys spent a whole week together. his favorite memories are definitely from that first week of seeing each other in person. of course you guys already had an amazing relationship while long distance, but there’s something so different about finally meeting the person you’re with in real life. it felt like he had to start over from scratch and you guys had to get to know each other all over again. also the idea of now having to build a physical bond. it was just such an amazing and beautiful experience. definitely the one that made him realize he really is in love with you.

N is for Nicknames (Their favourite nicknames given and received?)

IM SO BAD AT THINKING OF CUTE NAMES USHSJDH. probably just babe tho lol. for fem!readers, i can totally picture him using princess in a slightly sarcastic tone.

O is for Open (At what point do they start opening up to you about their life and feelings?)

mmm i’d say he actually starts opening up to you pretty early into the relationship. If you guys were like really close friends before hand he’s definitely already opened up to you. He doesn’t really have that many people in his life that he doesn’t trust.

P is for PDA (Are they into PDA?)

not really but he isn’t like super shy about it if that makes sense ??? like he’s 100% fine with hand holding, hugging, and light pecks when saying hello or goodbye.

Q is for Quiz (How much do they remember about you?)

I don’t think he really tries to remember stuff but he just does and he’s always making connections to you and things he sees and stuff it’s so cute :)

R is for Romantic (How romantic are they?)

he tries but he isn’t exactly the most romantic boy. like I said before you guys have a best friend type of connection so when it comes to romance he doesn’t go too above and beyond because he just doesn’t feel like he needs to. but on special occasions he will do something nice for you. He likes taking you out places !!

S is for Security (How protective/possessive are they?)

very much of both. once again, total sapnap vibes. i’d say he’s a lot more possessive than protective. he would never stop you from doing things like going out without him and having guy friends or making flirty jokes. he trusts you so much partly cus he’s a little narcissistic LMAO. but when a serious threat comes about he can get kinda crazy.

T is for Try (How much effort do they put into the relationship?)

GAAAAAA HE PUTS SO MUCH EFFORT IN!! you would probably be like his first ever serious partner so he would try his best at literally everything. in the beginning of the relationship you could totally tell how nervous he was at times but as you guys got more comfortable he just became an effortlessly amazing bf

U is for Uphold (How do they show you they’re proud? What kind of support do they give you?)

he talks about you so muchjahsjxjxh mostly to dream and george or on stream and he brags about you too. he can get pretty cocky about it but his friends can’t get mad because it’s literally adorable how whipped he is.

V is for Vaunt (Do they like to show off?)

YES OF COURSE !!! it’s sapnap guys…come on. literally any little accomplishment you make is turned into a way bigger deal than it should be because of him. he’s so proud of for literally just existing and he talks about all the cool stuff you’ve done all the time

W is for Wild Card (A random fluff headcanon.)

you guys really like going to different food places and eating different items compared to other places. THIS IS SO RANDOM LMAOO but like…sapnap would definitely have fun doing that

X is for X-ray (How well can they read you and your emotions/feelings?)

mmm he can usually tell if you’re acting strange or being distant. he cant always figure out exactly what’s wrong but he knows it’s something and he would confront you about it like almost immediately or whenever he thought would be a good time for you

Y is for Yearning (How much do they miss their s/o when they’re gone?)

he literally talks about you non stop when you’re apart. and when you guys are on the phone he comes up with all these plans for you guys to do when you see each other again and he always wants you to join vc on his streams if you can. in conclusion he misses you like crazy

Z is for Zebra (What kind of pet would they want with their s/o?)

A CAT!! or like a bearded dragon lol.

IM SO SORRY IVE BEEN GONE FOR LIKE TWO WEEKS HAGSKDHD

school is literally kicking my ass so hard man 😔

i’m gonna try to write more, working on a karlnap weed fic rn too LMAO

I’m taking a major creative writing class rn so between writing for school and writing for tumblr i am so drained but i promise i’ll get back into the swing of things soon :)

love you guys, thank you for everything and stay safe <333

@crackityy @fantasy-innit @joyfullymulti @k-l-a-w-s

#mcyt headcanons #mcyt preferences #mcyt x reader #mcyt #mcyt fanfiction #mcyt imagine #sapnap preferences #sapnap x you #sapnap x y/n #sapnap headcanons #sapnap imagine #sapnap x reader #sapnap fanfic

[trashbag-baby666]

We Healed Each Other-Luztoye

Summary: George knew he’d be dead soon. Joe knew he probably shouldn’t have fell for him but he did anyways.

WC: 6,184

C/W: Major Character Death, Cancer, and mentions of a car accident.

Link To My Masterlist!

It couldn't get any worse than this.

Was what Joe Toye was thinking when he woke up from anesthetic's. His friend Bill was there, he waited the whole time with Joes mom.

He had heard about career ending injuries when it came to football. But he never thought of this one was so severe.

From a little below his knee was gone. Because of a stupid car crash.

He cried and wept into the hospital pillow when he came to full realization.

He was just 17, just a senior in high school ready to go on his full ride scholarship to UWM.

George's dreams were crushed the beginning of his junior year. He had nicked himself shaving and next thing he knew he wouldn't stop bleeding.

His mom took him to the ER after about two hours.

Then after further examination George was diagnosed with Lymphoma.

All of his friends were optimistic at first, hell even he was.

Then it went on, the treatments stopped working, he started to get sicker, now he was living out the rest of his life in a hospital. Trying to preserve him until his last breath.

George hummed to himself as he made his rounds visiting his favorite nurses at their stations.

He had ahold of his IV pole as his vans made a soft patter against the tiled floor.

He was pulled from his thoughts as a boy backed out of the room pulling a wheelchair. The person in the wheelchair basically throwing a fit.

"Bill I do not want to go outside!" Joe protested as George stood there and watched the scene unfold.

"Like it or not Joe the vitamin C or whatever the fuck it is, is going to make you feel better." Bill argued back.

"Yeah well you don't get it!" Joe snapped back at him.

"Actually I do, do yeah forget we match now?" Bill huffed. George shook his head deciding he had, had enough of that and returned to his room.

He sat on the small couch in the room that Babe had pimped out for him. Well actually his whole room.

Babe was George's best friend and when he heard he was going to be spending; potentially the rest of his life here. Babe had to do some decorating.

He had strung up lights and got some cool blankets for the couch and George's bed. Put up a tapestry and some pictures of them and their friends.

George laid back and rubbed his eyes gingerly.

He heard a knock on the door and he looked up.

A ginger boy skipped into the room and George smiled.

"Hey Babe," he sat up.

"Did you see the hunk out there?" Babe pointed towards the door.

"If you're talking about Doc Roe don't even start again. He's just trying to do his residency and you're all over him!" George huffed with a smile.

"No, well yes Gene, but the other one! The one with the black hair." Babe hummed as he fidgeted with George's bracelets.

"Oh yeah, I saw him earlier but he won't be here long." He shrugged, George sighed and turned so he could see out over Philly.

Babe sat and chatted with his best friend for awhile before his mom was texting him he should be home soon. That dinner was almost done and George needed plenty of rest.

George always denied that, that he'd sleep when he's dead.

So there he had his nasty hospital food dinner by himself while re-watching some shitty Netflix original show on his laptop.

He took his meds on time and tried to fall asleep by 10:30.

But his thoughts consumed his brain.

He felt like he'd been lying there for only 15 minutes but when he checked his phone it was two hours later.

George sighed and decided he'd take a walk. Clear his brain of some thoughts. Some not so nice thoughts. He stood up off his bed and slipped on his hoodie and vans. Then grabbed his beanie off of the side table and pulled it over his head.

He walked to his door quiet to not make much sound to alert the nurses. He peaked his head out to make sure it was just the one new nurse on her night shift.

It was easy to slip past her.

George dipped and headed for the hallway to go clear his head.

He walked down the ugly tiled floor. Some ugly paintings to go with it on the wall. At least he wasn't trapped in a children's hospital was all he could think.

He heard some grunts and a slam come down from another hallway and went that way.

There he saw the same boy, leaning on crutches trying to get the soda machine to give him something.

He was new. Probably first night off of intense sleep meds or not being doped up.

"Couldn't sleep either?" George sighed standing next to him as he hit the machine again. "That's not going to help. These things like close after visiting hours. Plus you're probably not supposed to mix that shit with your medications and." George rambled.

"Does it look like I give a shit what I put in my body? My career is done." The dark haired boy snapped quietly so neither of them got caught. 

"Well at least you'll live," George rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

"I don't want to live like this." Joe rolled his eyes and crutched away from him. Towards where they had couches that just kinda overlooked the city and a fish tank.

George sighed and followed after him. Making sure to keep a distance. He assumed that the mysterious boy was the one that they had called code on a few days ago. Serious car accident or whatever.

George watched as he was wobbly on the crutches. The bulky bandaged right leg that slightly stuck out like a sore thumb. After his knee nothing was there.

Joe collapsed onto a couch and let the crutches fall to the side. He was out of breath and wiped his hairline.

George sat next to him, keeping his distance.

"Can you just leave me alone? I don't need some sob story." Joe leaned his head back. Putting his hands on his face than ran them down.

"Yeah I don't need to hear yours either. It's just nice to have a friend in this place. I'm George." He stuck out his hand.

"That's my grandpas name, I'm Joe." He shook George's hand reluctantly.

They sat silently for a moment before Joe looked back over at him.

George was pale, sickly looking, his eyes had dark bags under them, bruising on his arms from just being too weak. God he was so skinny.

Joe grimaced slightly.

"Cancer huh? Isn't it sexy?" George smiled to himself. He didn't need to look at Joe to know he was staring. Most people did.

"Sorry," Joe looked down.

"It's fine I've gotten used to it. Everyone pointing and starring." George shrugged and picked at a loose thread on his shorts, "So why're you locked up?"

"Don't be stupid, it's obvious." Joe waved his hand at his right leg.

"Shark attack?" George asked sadly in a joking manner.

"Yeah something like that. Try car accident." Joe looked back over at him.

"You're lucky to be alive," George nodded and scooted himself a bit closer. Starting to focus on the details in Joes face. His eyes dark and big.

"I wish my Ma would've just let me go into cardiac arrest. Now I'm just going to be a burden on her." Joe looked over at the fish tank.

"Don't say that. From someone who is quiet literally dying you don't want to be here." George motioned to himself now. It's like they were both bickering to say "my problem is worse than yours."

"I had a full ride to UWM? You know how many guys make it pro off of that team? I could've had it all and now I'm stuck here. Crippled and useless." Joe threw his hands up in defeat.

"Oh not this, a football boy?" George laughed.

"What the fuck man," Joe whined looking at George, "It's important to me. I don't exactly do wonderful in school."

"Why don't you let me tutor you. I get straight A's. Plus I'm on online school I have plenty of free time." George crossed his legs and faced Joe, "We can help each other. I get a way to use my time here wisely and you get good grades."

"Fine," Joe grabbed his crutches and stood himself up with struggle, "Now I'm going back to my room don't follow me."

"I'm not that obsessed with you," George called out to him and shook his head.

"Yeah and he wouldn't leave me alone," Joe talked to Bill as Doc Roe changed his bandages. He grimaced as Gene got closer to his stump, "Fuck, oh my god."

Joe threw his head back as he leaned against the propped up bed.

"Oh does that hurt so much?" Bill mocked Joes cries.

"Joes friend, this can be sensitive skin." Gene started to lecture Bill.

"Believe me I know," Bill pulled up his left joggers leg exposing his own prosthetic. Gene glanced over then bit his lip.

"Don't let Bill get to ya Doc. He's just mean." Joe smirked as Doc did his job. Bill rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat.

"So this George kid? He's in love with ya or somethin'?" Bill turned to look at Joe.

"Maybe, I mean he's not bad but I'm not looking for a hospital romance." Joe shrugged looking over at Bill.

"Well I know how this works." Bill hummed leaning back in the chair. He had watched Joe look for a boyfriend for years. Seemingly to never be able to find the right one or match. But at the end Joe would just be sad and feel unlovable by the end.

"Bill I know but I'm not going in deep. He's just tutoring me." Joe sighed then whimpered gently as Gene massaged in some cream to help it not get infected.

"Does it hurt too much Joe? I can stop." Gene looked up from his work. Joe just shook his head and looked back over at Bill.

"Oh I might not know a lot but Ol Guarnere knows when Joe has a crush." He smirked and winked at his best friend.

George sat across from Joe as he made flash cards for some of Joes struggle subjects. Joe was some what complying, he gave George a list of things he struggled with.

Joe groaned to himself in frustration as he read over a text book passage again.

"Need some help?" George looked up from the cards.

"If I say yes are you actually going to help me?" Joe rolled his eyes. George huffed and got up sitting next to Joe and reading over the passage quick.

"So take it a chunk at a time, find bolded words that's going to contain information for that question. If that doesn't work take it paragraph by paragraph." George stood back up and he instantly gripped the table for support. Joe surprised both of them as he reached out and grabbed George's waist so he couldn't fall.

"I'm okay, just a little dizzy." George nodded to himself than sat down.

"Do you need anything?" Joe frowned looking at the other boy. George rubbed his face trying in an attempt to make his eye bags go away. He seemed to never sleep anymore. He then tugged his knitted hat further down on his head.

"Joe, read your book." George huffed and sipped on some water.

He reached for his phone and saw a bunch of missed calls from Babe and a bunch of texts.

Babe: I GOT IN!!!'

Babe: I GOT IN TO FUCKING UCLA!!!

Babe: oh shit sorry.

Babe: wait did you ever turn your application in?

George frowned and set his phone screen down back on the table. It was his and Babes dream to go to UCLA together. After George got diagnosed with Lymphoma he didn't want to turn his application in till he was cured. But now here he was, his application sitting in a draft on his laptop.

He just hated seeing his friends and family sad. So he would tell them he turned it in and didn't get a response.

It wasn't even like George had to live out the rest of his life in a hospital. He just chose it.

He chose it over being in hospice in his own damn home.

He couldn't stomach the thought of his mom weeping to his father every night. He couldn't stomach the idea of his mother being the one to find him when his organs would finally give out and he would die.

So he stayed here.

His parents and Babe visited him daily for hours but he just couldn't live like this infront of his family.

He always acted less sickly infront of them.

Holding in vomit, pushing down food even if it made him feel queazy, hey putting a smile on for Babe.

"George," Joe cleared his throat.

"Sorry what?" George blinked his brown eyes quickly, snapping from his depressive thoughts.

"I gotta go I have pt and rehabilitation." Joe put his stuff into a small backpack and slung it over his shoulders. He grabbed his crutches and steadied himself.

"What time tomorrow?" George asked.

"I have appointments all day," Joe shrugged.

"You got PT tomorrow?" He shuffled the quiz cards in his hands.

"Yeah..." Joe narrowed his eyebrows.

"I'll just come down to the gym with you and quiz you." George smirked.

"Fine, it's a date." Joe started back towards his room, "Well it's not actually a date but."

"Shut it Joe I know what you mean," George waved at him as he left the gathering area. George sighed and leaned his head on his hand staring out into the big window.

Why'd it have to be him to end up with this fate.

"The mitochondria is the?" George flipped through the cards as Joe balanced himself against a wall with help from a physical therapist.

"The power house of the cell," Joe sighed as he was just getting tired and scared he was going to fall. This stuff used to be so easy. He was on a varsity football team for Christ's sake a good one for that.

"The constitution was signed in?" George hummed admiring Joes effort he put in to this.

"1778," Joe answered as he sat back into his wheelchair and huffed. George honestly didn't mind coming down to the gym with Joe. It was their second day down here.

George admired how toned and ripped Joe was and you could really tell.

Sometimes it wasn't the easiest to work with Joe when he was frustrated he could barely do simple tasks on his own anymore.

"You're getting better at this," George smiled as Joe wheeled himself over to where George was sitting.

"Yeah just trying to pass senior year," Joe rolled his eyes.

"Well I heard you have a prosthetic fitting tomorrow. That should be exciting right? You're headed towards recovery and your way out of this dump." George smiled trying to reason with him.

"I'd still rather be dead than broken." Joe bent over and grabbed his crutches off the ground by George's chair and got himself up heading toward the elevator.

George got up and followed him.

"You know I'm sick of hearing you say that. Because for the love of god I am going to be dead sooner than later and I'm not looking forward to it." George paused as he stepped onto the elevator with Joe, "Im not looking forward to having to think about my mother sobbing and weeping and being too depressed to get out of bed everyday. Im not too thrilled thinking that my best friend is going to be living our dream alone without me. Maybe just a." Joe pressed George against the wall of the elevator and kissed him. Shutting the boy up by Joe pressing his chapped lips to George's. Joe smirked as he could taste cherry chapstick on George's lips.

George didn't even hesitate to kiss back. He moved his lips in sync with Joes. But as the elevator dinged he gently pushed Joe off of him.

"And I'm not going to watch you fall in love with me just so I can die." George stomped off to his room and opened his door before throwing it closed behind him.

He fell onto his bed in a fit of tears.

He couldn't live like this any longer.

"You kissed him?" Bills eyebrows shot straight up as Joe told him the shocking information.

"I guess I did," Joe sighed and pushed his hair out of his face, "So the fuck what thought Bill."

"Didn't you mention he's about to fuckin die?" Bill pointed towards the door.

"Well I mean he's gotta have a few years left at the least right?" Joe looked at his friend. His mouth still parted and his eyebrows rised high .

"The last thing I'm having happen here is letting my best friend fall in love with a dying boy." Bill folded his arms, "You should be smarter than this Joe."

Joe just shook his head and turned his head to look out the window in his room.

"And you kissed him back?" Babe passed around George's room.

"Babe take a seat your stressing me out." George pulled his knees to his chest as he sat on the small couch next to the Window.

"I thought you were just tutoring this boy?!" Babe threw his hands in the air.

"I was! I mean I am! He kissed me first!" George sighed as he watched the red head sit on his bed. Babe let out a long deep breath and shut his eyes.

"Georgie come on don't do this to yourself..." Babe sighed opening his eyes again meeting his best friends gaze.

"Do what? I'm not going to meet with him anymore I just...I don't need to hurt anyone else when my body decides to just finally shut down." George looked down and rested his head between his knees.

"Stop saying that George. Did you get a response from UCLA?" Babe started.

"Edward stop! Has it not hit you that I'm not going to be here within the next two months. I'm going to die and you're going to go to UCLA! Forget about me! Please I don't want to hurt you! Just I never turned it in because I just knew this was going to be it." George snapped but suddenly felt the tears start to run down his face.

"George I'm sorry..." Babe started to walk towards him.

"Just go! Just go and forget me and move on with your life because I love you Babe." George looked up at him. George's eyes were bloodshot as tears dropped down his pale skin. His lip quivered as he stared at his best friend.

"I love you too," Babe hugged him, "I'll uh. I'll see you soon just tough it out."

Babe sighed and awkwardly walked out of the room making sure to have a word with Gene on his way out.

George let his head drop back down into his knees. Ignoring as his tears soaked his joggers.

He couldn't keep hurting people.

George wrapped his blanket around him as he wandered his way down the unit to Joes room.

He was doing the opposite of what he wanted to do.

He knocked on Joes door then opened the door.

George sniffed and walked over to Joe's bed.

"Joey?" George gently tapped his shoulder.

"Mhm?" Joe mumbled rolling over to look at him.

"Can I uh...can I sleep in here tonight." George looked down and sniffed. He hadn't stopped crying since Babe was there.

"I guess the chair isn't very comfortable though." Joe mumbled not even opening his eyes.

"I was uh...hoping you could uhm," George looked down at Joe, "Be willing to share a bed?"

"Really?" Joe finally opened his eyes and rubbed his eyes. His eyes started to adjust to the dark and the small light from the hallway shining in through the window.

George's eyes were swollen and plump. He had tear stains visible on his cheeks.

Joe huffed and scooted over holding the blanket open for George.

George sighed and climbed in next to Joe. He tossed his blanket over both of them.

"I'm not cuddling with you George," Joe huffed as he put an arm around him.

"But," George scooted a bit closer to Joe and rested his head on Joes chest.

"Ow ow," Joe took a sharp breath.

"Am I hurting you?" George changed positions.

"No you just bumped my leg I'm sorry," Joe sighed, "Here just. I guess we can spoon." Joe turned over carefully and George scootched in closer. George rested his head on Joes back and nestled his head in.

"Thank you," George sighed.

"You know this is the first time I've seen you without a hat on." Joe smiled turning his head to look at George.

George groaned and closed his eyes again. His hair was growing back but it just looked like a buzz cut gone wrong.

"It's cute," Joe hummed and turned back over.

"Go to bed Toye," George kissed the back of Joes neck.

"You're the one who climbed into bed with me." Joe snickered and turned over to look at George.

"You let me into your bed," George smiled all snarky. He looked up at Joe and studied his facial features and brought his lips up to Joes and kissed him gently. George frowned and turned back over, "I'm tired I'm gonna sleep."

"Oh okay," Joe sighed and let his head fall back onto the pillow. He watched as George tried to be as far from Joe as possible. Joe sighed and shut his eyes letting sleep take him.

George woke up to Doc Roe coming into Joes room.

"Good morning Joe." He paused as he turned on the light and saw George coddled into Joe.

"Uhm morning as well George." Gene sighed, "I just need to grab vitals from Joe but you should probably head back to your room." Gene glanced back at his watch, "You have an appointment with me in an hour."

"Gene I just woke up," George mumbled and nuzzled his head against Joes neck.

"You gotta go Georgie. I'll see ya soon okay?" Joe sighed. George was blushing red all over at the sound of Joes husky morning voice.

"M' okay." George hummed and kissed the back of Joes neck. He reluctantly climbed out of the bed and snatched his blanket he had brought in with him the night before. "See ya Gene," George mumbled and left.

"Isn't he the best?" Joe blushed and sat up grabbing the bed remote and moving it to be propped up.

"Uhm it's hospital policy," Gene began.

"Don't ruin the romance," Joe snickered to himself. Gene nodded and continued with his job.

George pulled on his knitted hat and headed for the door to go have his appointment with Gene. What else could he need to know? He knew he was dying and it's not like a miracle cure could fix him.

He greeted the nurses at the nurses station as he walked down the corridor. The white flours bringing out the calming blue wall paper. The quiet sound of his vans hitting the floor with each step. Finally he reached the elevator.

George hesitated but clicked the down button. He only ever left to go to the physical therapy gym with Joe. But leaving alone was scary to him.

The elevator dinged and he stepped in hitting the 2nd floor button. He pulled out his phone and mindlessly scrolled through Twitter seeing all the news of the day. But eventually he'd arrive at the floor.

Stepping out and watching as all the people in the waiting room put all eyes on him. He bit his lip and walked down to Genes office. He knocked on the wood door with the small glass window in it.

Gene leaned back in his desk chair then waved him in.

He stepped in and sat at the desk instantly grabbing at random things on the desk.

"Hey Doc," George hummed, "Why'd ya summon me for?"

Gene sighed and clicked his pen leaning back in his desk chair. He ran his teeth over his bottom lip and scratched the back of his neck.

"Well Edward came and found me yesterday and told me about what was going on. I was just wondering if you wanted someone to talk to? I can schedule you with your therapist again?" Gene bit the inside of his cheek looking at the younger boy.

"I, uhm, I'm fine. Last night was just a little rough." George crossed his legs and twirled the pen in his hands.

"Well, when I woke up Joe for vitals and." Gene began.

"I just, I had a bad dream. Gene I promise you I'm fine!" George smiled trying to sell himself off to his doctor.

"Just, I understand that the place you're at health wise is not wonderful. But you need to let your friends and family in and let them soak up as much George Luz as they can." Gene frowned, "Anyways a trial treatment could start any day and give you a fair chance." Gene leaned his elbows on his desk and chewed on his bottom lip.

"I'll be fine okay? No trial treatments and I see my parents and Babe everyday! I'm doing good really." George let his lips pull into a tight smirk. He swallowed hard as he felt the thick pressure build up in his throat.

George stood up and walked towards the door, "I'll be fine Gene. I promise."

Bill knocked on Joes door and basically kicked the thing down. Joe flinched from where he was studying on his bed.

"The hell Bill!?" Joe looked up at the slim boy in the doorway.

"I was just talking to Gene and they're releasing you on Friday!" Bill smiled then hugged him.

"Oh wow," Joe smiled and hugged Bill back. He was happy to go home but what about George? He hasn't spoken to George since yesterday morning? He wasn't answering Joes texts. Joe went by his room yesterday and didn't see him in there. He couldn't just leave George.

"You don't seem to excited?" Bill sat on the edge of the bed and looked at him.

"But what about George?" Joe raised an eyebrow then sighed letting his shoulders relax.

"Well you can come see him? I'll take you after school and stuff? Hey maybe we could break him out for a day?" Bill tried to force a smile up and on.

"I mean yeah but. Bill he's got no one, his parents come but they spend the whole time crying." Joe started.

George then opened the door.

"Oh sorry hey. Is this Bill?" George pointed at the dark haired man.

"Yep, you must be George Luz in the flesh." Bill held his hand out.

"Nice to meet you," George smiled and shook his hand, "You didn't tell me he was this cute!?"

"Hey!" Joe smirked and pulled George down into him.

"So it's official?" Bill asked with a smile.

"We're not dating we're just friends." George hummed and closed his eyes. Leaning onto Joe and taking a deep breath soaking in all of Joes warmth.

Bill cringed and rolled his eyes. He was glad Joe was happy but at what price? Not long from how George wouldn't be here anymore.

But Joe had dug himself his own hole he wasn't going to be able to get out of with ease.

-Two Weeks Later-

George sat in his room patiently waiting for Joe.

Joe officially he had his first prosthetic and he wanted George to be there with him when he took his second first steps.

George opened Snapchat and snatched his beanie off. He looked at his hair, it was finally long enough to be like a short length he could semi-style it with. But he just had grown attached to the hat Babes mother had crocheted for him.

Speaking of Babe, it'd been two and a half weeks since George had seen him. He missed him but this would just benefit Babe not getting as hurt when George finally kicked the bucket.

There was a soft knock on the door and Joe opened it.

"Hey Georgie," Joe smiled as he crutched in. George got off the couch and walked over to Joe hugging him tight. He was here two days ago but he just missed him. George was a lonely guy.

"Hey handsome," George checked him out noticing the new not so hospital look. His hair was styled and he had gotten a haircut. He had on a football hoodie with gym shorts and one black old school vans.

"I missed you." George smirked and kissed Joes cheek.

"Missed ya too pumpkin," Joe kissed George's cheek, "Well we should get going okay?"

"Okay," George smiled and pulled his flannel on and followed Joe out, "So have you gone back to school yet?"

"Yeah Monday I started," Joe nodded as they got on the elevator.

"And is the tutoring helping?" George smirked and crossed his arms. Joe rolled his eyes and nodded reluctantly.

"I told you," George snickered and cracked his knuckles.

They then got off at the right level and George followed Joe off and over to the check in desk before they sat down.

"I'm so excited for you!" George turned so he was facing Joe and took his hand.

"I mean I'm a little excited but I'm scared." Joe looked down and gently squeezed George's hand.

"I get it. Your life was changed drastically with no warning. Believe I've been there." George kissed Joes knuckles and massaged his hand.

"Joesph Toye?" A younger slim man came out.

Joe nodded and let go of George's hand and grabbed his crutches. George got up and followed Joe.

George sat in the wheelchair at the beginning of the bars. George stood at the other end with a smile on his face and gleam in his eyes.

"Whenever you're ready Joe," Doctor Winters smiled at him. Joe grabbed the armrest on the chair and shakily stood up then instantly grabbed the bars for support.

It felt so odd to him. So inhuman. Like he had an alien body part. He took a step and stumbled slightly but caught himself. George smiled as he took his steps and got to the end where George was waiting.

"I'm so proud of you," George smiled and Joe fell into the chair. George kissed Joes cheek and hugged him. He was so proud of Joe.

Another month would go by where George was just getting so much sicker but started to apply makeup to make him look fine.

Today he was expecting Joe at the same time today. They made it official, George knew he loved him.

But he wasn't going to say it. Ever.

There was a knock on the door and George perked up. Joe walked in, surprisingly he didn't have his crutches but rather a cane.

"Aw yay! Sweetheart look at you!" George got up and walked over to him. Just as he stood on his tiptoes to kiss him Babe walked in after him.

"He uh," Joe began.

"Joe..." George looked down and backed up back over to the couch.

"Hey George," Babe waved awkwardly and shut the door.

"George he's your best friend and he missed you." Joe sat next to him and crossed his arms, "You need to makeup with him."

"Fine," George sighed and looked at Babe, "I'm sorry for the way I acted."

"I forgive you. I'm sorry for being pushy if I was I just feel bad." Babe started rattling on.

"He got a date with Gene," Joe interrupted.

"No way!" George looked over to where the red head sat on the bed.

"Yes way!" Babe giggled and ran a hand through his finger hair. As his face lit up dark red.

"You gotta tell me the story. I love a story time." George leaned back into Joe as he put an arm around him.

Joe kissed the top of George's head and smiled at the sight of his boyfriend happy and laughing.

Joe and George didn't even think for a moment as Joe gently ruffled George's hair. Something George hadn't felt in literal years.

George gasped momentarily and looked up at George.

"Well you're not bald anymore," Babe motioned to George and shrugged.

"Yeah I guess," George laughed awkwardly, "Anyways you were saying."

This might've been a positive for Babe and Joe. But George was growing hair again because he was dying. Growing hair because the treatment didn't work.

He just sighed and kept a fake smile pulled up and leaned against Joe again.

The last day Joe would ever spend with George would he the following day.

He wouldn't make it to see the outcome of Babes date, Babe and George graduating, Joe walking without assistance from an aid, or make it to his and Joes fake wedding.

"Well you gotta promise me somethin?" Joe shuffled through his pocket. Him and George had just decided to lay in bed that afternoon because George wasn't having a good day.

Joe pulled out the ring and twirled it around in his hand.

"What is that Joey?" George furrowed his eyebrows and grabbed at Joes hand.

"Hey! Hey! It's a promise ring. Because you're going to promise me that you're going to be waiting for me? Because I'm going to be waiting for you." Joe hummed.

"Joe..." George looked up at the ceiling, "you have to go and live your life after I pass. You need to move on and forget me when I die okay? You gotta promise me that. Eventually we'll see each other again after you live a long, healthy, and happy life.

But I don't wanna see you up their until you're old and don't remember your own name okay?"

"George-" now it was Joes turn to plead with him, "How am I supposed to forget you and move on!? You're the best person I've ever met George!? Because I think i love you."

George took a sharp breath and felt tears prick, "Joe I can't say that. I can't make you feel that way when I'm about to die because it's going to happen okay? So love me now and forget me later." George snuggled into him, "I'll take your stupid ring but just as a gift and just so I can have something blingy to wear in my casket." George snatched the ring and slipped it on his ring finger.

"Okay," Joe took a deep breath in and kissed George's cheek. George reached up and hit play on the movie they were watching on his laptop.

Joe gently carded through George's hair, he'd stay there till Gene kicked him out. George would walk him down to the lobby where they'd share their last kiss and last words.

Joe woke up that morning to his phone ringing. He checked the time it was 6:05, his alarm wasn't supposed to go off for another fifteen minutes. But it was Babes contact and his heart skipped a beat.

"Morning Babe," Joe sighed rolling onto his back holding his phone up to his ear.

"Morning Joe," Babe sniffed, "I hate for you to have to hear it this way but, but. George's heart stopped last night and he died almost right away." Babe chocked on tears and the tears started to flow.

"Oh," was all he could peep out as he felt his heart twist and break into a million pieces. Phantom pains shooting up his stump from the shock. There he fell apart on his bed.

"I'll text you with funeral information," Babe cried out through tears then hung up. Joe sniffed and threw his phone against the wall. Then his mom came upstairs running at the thump. Joe cradled in on himself. This couldn't be the end.

Joe sniffed and sobbed into his pillow as his mom didn't even have to ask what had happened.

But he knew George tried his best to stick it out for as long as he could. But George was dancing with the devil since they had met.

Maybe Joe should've listened to Bill about not falling for him.

But now he had to pay the price of losing his boyfriend.

His mom sighed as she gently rubbed his back and called Bill to break the news.

Joe would graduate next month and he'd move out to go to UWM. Maybe he could start over again. But one things for certain. He'd never forget George and the special things they shared.

They healed each other.

#band of brothers #george luz #joe toye #luztoye #babe heffron #bill guarnere #eugene roe #modern au #hospital au

[thegreatobsesso]

A longer bit feat.: Callie and Simon angst. :)

Talking with @drippingmoon got me thinking of some cornerstone scenes in the enemies-to-friends slow-burn I do with these two idiots and this one, I think, stands out as the dead-center point, so I’m gonna not second-guess myself and just post it. 🥴

Tagging @thelaughingstag too! (I remembered!)

Context: Callie broke into Delaney to steal an ancient magical artifact and, believing she meant nothing but harm, Simon stopped her. But while waiting for the cops to come and drag her back to prison, Simon asks her to just tell him the truth, once and for all. Callie agrees to let him read her mind all the way back to the beginning, thinking she’s got nothing left to live for. Simon gets hit with a truckload of tragic backstory he wasn’t prepared for and is asked to follow them back to Downing Bay, the prison she’s being held in.

They’re still mentally connected, even after Simon has let go. He can hear her, and she can hear him too, which definitely isn’t normal.

Word count: 3,200

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

failure. failure. failure

She wasn’t even doing this on purpose and it wasn’t just the word reverberating through his skull.

More like a full-bodied feeling flooding his consciousness as he left Delaney, a steady stream of self-hatred punctuated only by expletives.

Stop, he begged her.

i can’t, you stop listening

I can’t.

She laughed, out loud in her cell. He heard it and felt it, over the miles that separated them, the ocean and metal and glass.

He’d overextended; that’s what caused this. It took him awhile to put it together because he’d been so upset - maybe even been in a mild state of shock, in retrospect - and he spent a lifetime being so careful with his powers that he’d never done it before to know what it was like.

And so that was bad, yes, but come on. How much longer could it last?

He was stepping onto the boat to Downing Bay when the pain started - hers, and not the torrent of existential agony he was struggling to adjust to but pain, physical and substantial.

What’s happening? he tried to ask, but it got lost - she could barely think, suddenly, let alone focus on sending him mental telegrams.

The cluster of metal buildings hovered threateningly on the horizon, and as they got closer, minds inside got louder, almost drowning Callie out. He wanted to tell them to turn around and take him away; the claustrophobia was overwhelming, the collective sense of being trapped.

The boat brought them underneath the smallest building; a scorched sign read Diagnostics in block letters with an arrow pointing up. What might’ve once been a loading dock was sectioned off with caution tape and hanging sadly down into the water, barely still attached to the rest of the infrastructure. They laid a make-shift bridge between the boat and platform to walk across.

Once inside, they asked him to empty his pockets and leave all his belongings in a small box.

“This stays with me,” he said, holding his Headmaster’s key, bronze and solid, in the palm of his hand.

“No, sir,” said the tired corrections officer, unaware of who he was. “All belongings.” She shook the plastic container for emphasis, rattling the rest of his stuff around.

“I’m the headmaster of Delaney of School for Magicians,” he said. “This is a master key and it doesn’t leave my neck. If you need to call your superiors about it, please do it, but I won’t leave it here.”

A few minutes later, he put the chain back around his neck, dropped the key down inside his shirt, and was escorted inside.

“No one’s suppressed me yet,” he said to one of prison officers. He waited until the last second; surely they knew their own duties better than he did. He didn’t wanna insult anyone, but they hadn’t done it and they were bringing him though thick, reinforced doors to the warden’s office and if not now, when?

“We’ve not been asked to, sir. This way.”

The warden smiled when Simon entered his office, waved everyone else away. He introduced himself as Warden Prescott and extended his hand - it was thin and cold when Simon shook it, despite the muggy warmth.

“Thank you for coming so quickly,” he said. “How fares your school?”

“It’s seen worse. It looks like she hit this place harder, to be honest.”

The warden smiled, and Simon caught an image of a collection, varying people with differing characteristics on display in tiny boxes, one of them out of place. “Yes, she put on quite a show on her way out. Destroyed all our boats and did a significant amount of superficial damage, but nothing structural, thankfully.”

Of course not - living her memories alongside her showed him she made sure she didn’t hurt anyone, only crippled their ability to pursue her.

It was too warm in here and he wondered how the warden could be so buttoned up in thick polyester when he had to unbutton his own light jacket.

“A hearing will take place tomorrow morning and your presence will be required,” he began. “I suspect I know at least  part of the reason why. News reached my ears that you behaved quite badly.” He made a tsk-tsk sound and shook his head at Simon like he was a naughty child.

“I did what I did,” he said flatly. “I shouldn’t have read her mind, and I accept the consequences for it, whatever they’ll be.”

“Oh, I meant absolutely no disrespect,” the warden said. “The opposite, in fact. I daresay if I had your powers, I’d like nothing more than to take a stroll through that mind of hers. She’s an interesting one. The fact that you did so might work to our advantage, in fact. You see, we’re in a bit of a bind with all this. May I speak plainly?”

“I wish you would,” he said. The warden was carrying his collection of dolls in his mind, all unique and valuable and distinctly dehumanized, and Callie’s thoughts were still flowing like a steady IV drip, making him feel irritable and short.

“Well, Mister Bennett, the facts are as such: we’ve got a limited testimony from you that the authorities will need expanded upon, that says you’ve seen the original crime in the first person, and your account differs wildly from the one she’s given. There are additional crimes stacked up past that - her escape from prison and attempted theft of an undisclosed item from your school. And the world wants to know how an infamous killer managed to become the first person in history to escape Downing Bay.”

“It’s a valid question for them to ask.”

“With an undesirable answer. But I think you’re in pain, Mister Bennett. Do you need a doctor?”

He was, but it wasn’t his own injuries that made wince.

“It’s her,” he groaned. “You’re hurting her, what are you doing?”

The warden sighed. “Come,” he said. “I’ll show you.”

He took Simon down the hall, into a sterile room filled with recording equipment and a solid wall of glass. On the other side of the it, Callie. She sat a bare table in prison scrubs, hands cuffed to its surface. IVs were inserted in both her arms, the needles taped down, liquid flowing from bags hanging behind her. The metal collar around her neck flashed blips of red, yellow and green, reminding him absurdly of a Christmas tree.

She bit her lip and shuffled restlessly, an involuntary response to the pain she was trying to ignore.

“You’ve got to stop this,” he said.

“To be fair, this isn’t what diagnostics usually looks like,” the warden said while he swallowed down a wave of sickness. “Typically, we focus on finding a long-term suppressive solution that both nullifies abilities and has minimal side effects for the prisoner. We are, unfortunately, in disaster minimization mode rather than long-term maintenance with your friend here.”

This was the strain being put on her body - the combination of every drug known to medicine that could hold back the expression of magic for any amount of time at all. “She’s not my friend,” he muttered. “Isn’t this unethical?”

“Should we allow all her power to rush back in so she can kill my people and escape again?”

“She’s not killing anyone,” Simon said with certainty.

“That’s not what she said a few hours ago,” the warden recalled. “We had no less than five guards trying to process her and she threatened their lives.”

Dammit. “What we you doing to her?”

“Attempting to place her segregation.”

He resisted the urge to groan in frustration, to punch the glass in front of him. “She didn’t mean it,” he muttered, not relishing the job of being her translator. “She’s terrified of solitary confinement, she just didn’t wanna go.”

“That’s unfortunate, given that we can’t very well place her back into general population. This is all that’s left, a quarantine unit, meant for contagious disease.”

On the other side of the glass, Callie squeezed her eyes shut and dropped her head. A fresh wave of pain ran over him too.

how much longer, how much more?

“How long can you keep this up, these stop-gap measures? Surely they won’t work forever.”

Warden Prescott raised his eyebrows. “These measures aren’t even working very well, Mister Bennett. I daresay if she wanted to, she could be gone before nightfall. I’m afraid she’s only here at her pleasure.”

Pleasure? He looked back at her in the next room, her face contorted. “You’re kidding me.”

“I wish I was,” Warden Prescott said, with a small smile. “We’re in the dark here, fumbling through uncharted territory without a map. She’s got my best techs feeling like children when they try to interpret the results of all this treatment. She’s a thing that isn’t supposed to exist: a hybrid. Focused magic and Eclectic, all at once.”

The implications of the warden’s words began to stack up in his already overtaxed mind and part of him thought, ridiculously, of a vacation. Of sitting on a beach with a book getting a suntan, drinking something with a slice of pineapple on the rim, smoking a cigarette or two or fifty - of not having a care in the world, for just a little while.

A hybrid, then. Focused and Eclectic.

He’d walked through her life with her and even she didn’t understand that, not really, not in such terms. She, and everyone else who knew what she’d done to Peter, had thought of it like an acquisition of new powers; not a fundamental genetic change.

Did Riley know this? Riley, who gathered Callie’s DNA and did extensive testing on it, who still had it?

“Has anybody been in touch with the family?” he asked, unwilling to explain why he was asking.

“I know someone’s reached out,” the warden said. “I don’t believe there was any reply.”

No, he supposed not. Riley would want nothing to do with any of this. Still, she had to be sweating, didn’t she? How could she know Callie still held up her end of their deal?

“I wonder,” Warden Prescott drawled, “if your trip through her mind was quite so extensive that if she were back inside your school, right now, you’d trust her not to hurt anyone.”

“It was,” he said. “And I would.”

He couldn’t imagine this would be easy for anyone else to swallow. He certainly wouldn’t believe it himself without first-hand insight. “I want to talk to her.”

The warden nodded his assent at the guards lining the wall.

“As I said, everyone wants to know how she managed to escape,” he said, walking Simon around to the entrance of the adjacent room that held Callie. “The thing I’m most curious about it why she even waited so long to do it. Is that something you know, from your jaunt through her mind?”

“Yes.”

“Are you inclined to share?”

He decided earlier, definitively, that he didn’t like the warden: the way he looked at his inmates like specimens, pinned inside a case. “No,” he said.

“Fair enough,” he agreed. “Although you might be asked tomorrow, by someone more powerful than me, in a much more formal capacity. We’ll be leaning on your expertise considerably to entangle that mind of hers.” He shook his head in admiration. “The unsuppressable Callie Ray.”

“I wouldn’t toss that around,” he muttered.

“Why not?”

The guard undid a stack of locks on the quarantine room door. “I don’t want her hearing it,” he said as they pushed the door open. “She’ll like it too much.”

—

Little black cameras dotted the corners of the room; he knew the warden would be listening on the other side of the glass where’d they’d just come from, and he was certain they were being recorded too.

She lifted her head, smirked at the sight of him. “I’d say hello,” she said, her voice scratchy. “But it’s like I never left you, isn’t it?”

She looked awful. Her red-rimmed eyes matched her hair; one was still swollen, decorated in bruises. “I am sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean for this.” He gestured between his head and hers.

he just says it, just like that

“Did you get a good spanking for it? I’m sure nobody expected that from their golden boy.”

Her words were hollow to him now; they washed over him uselessly and left him thoroughly unimpressed. He pulled up a chair and sat opposite her at the steel table, mirroring her position with his hands folded in front of him, except for the absence of cuffs, obviously.

We could talk like this, he said, if you don’t want them to listen.

A jumbled negative reply came across their connection. He nodded.

“There’s a whole team of people on the other side of the door, trying to figure out the best ways to keep your magic suppressed on a minute-to-minute basis,” he said.

“Can you believe it?” She tried for a smile, but it was poorly constructed. “All this for little old me.”

“Well, you’ve convinced the world you’re a dangerous monster and now you’re being treated like one. You did this to yourself.”

“Did you hear me complaining?”

Another wave of gnawing pain; she was sweating, her jumpsuit damp in the armpits. It hit him too, surely just a fraction of what it felt like for her, and he’d already had enough.

“Just tell them,” he said. “Tell them what I know, that it was an accident from the start and you don’t wanna hurt anyone else, and they might let up.”

“I don’t want them to,” she said, voice strained, hanging onto composure by a thread. “I like the pain.”

if I’m in pain I’m getting what I deserve I don’t have to feel guilty

He’d never felt a mind twisted up into knots like this, how did it get this way?

“Is that why you’re still here?” he asked. He looked toward the glass where he knew Warden Prescott was still standing, watching and listening. “They know you’re letting this happen. That if you wanted to, you could stop it.”

She blinked; a powerful emptiness surged up inside her. “Where else am I supposed to go?”

It wasn’t a rhetorical question - she was interested in an answer if he had one, but he didn’t. He lived her life alongside her in a compressed whirlwind of tightly-packed failures and she had no family to take her in, Delaney certainly wouldn’t have her, there were no relationships, no friends…

He pulled back; it hurt to be near.

“Just because you say you’re not gonna try to escape again…” He fumbled, trying to lay out the mess. “They still can’t hold you on your word, Callie. You’ve got the public frightened that Downing Bay can’t hold you and the authorities are scared you’re gonna prove it.”

She nodded and winced; something crossed her mind too quickly for him to get a good look. “What are they gonna do to me?” she asked.

“I don’t know. I don’t think they do either.”

“Why don’t they just kill me?”

The way she said these things - it was infuriating. “They can’t just execute someone because they don’t know what else to do with them.” He narrowed his eyes like it might help him see her clearer. “Is that what you want? To die?”

She rolled it around in her head. “Not really,” she shrugged. “But I don’t really wanna live either.”

Hopelessness emanated from her; he felt her future the way she saw it, a vast, meaningless chasm of nothing. It made him want to scream.

“Don’t,” she snarled, her awareness of their connection snapping to life. “Don’t you feel sorry for me, you jackass. I don’t want your pity, I’d rather you spit in my eye.”

“I can’t help it,” he groaned. “You sit there acting like this while… it’s, it’s like two different radio stations blasting into each of my ears, I can’t think.”

She swallowed thickly, like she was nauseous. “Do you wanna know exactly how much sympathy I have for you right now?”

“No.”

“Zero,” she said anyway. “Nobody made you drill yourself your own personal pipeline into my brain.”

“That’s not what I was trying to do.”

“Oh, so sad,” she pouted, turning her bottom lip out. “You made your first mistake. Feels like shit, doesn’t it?”

he’ll tell everybody, then everyone will know how stupid, how useless, how embarrassing, and he’s listening to you RIGHT NOW, he knows it all, i wish i WAS dead so i didn’t have to, would be easier than this-

“You let me think you did it on purpose,” he bit out, too overwhelmed to hold it back. “You let me think the absolute worst of you.”

“The worst of me is the truth, the shit you know now.”

“No, it’s not. What you are is not worse than a cold-blooded killer, a, a liar, somebody I could spend the rest of my life feeling like a fool for letting in, how do you justify doing that to me?”

She shrugged, blinked slowly, helplessly, like she couldn’t believe she had to put words to something so simple. “I… the damage was done.”

He scoffed - he couldn’t help it. “It wasn’t. There was a lot more damage left to do, and you did it. You did it all.”

Anger, fresh and bitter, burned through their connection.

i was trying to fix it if you would’ve just walked away none of this would be happening i could have made it go away-

“At what cost?” he asked. It would sound like a non sequitur to everyone listening but he didn’t care. “Even if the orblex could do what you were planning, you can’t possibly predict how it would’ve worked. Did you think it would just drop you off on Christmas twelve years ago and let you start again? No one knows how Time magic works and you wanted to just unleash it. For all you know you could have ripped the world apart.”

Disbelief. how could he say something like that?

“Wouldn’t you?” she asked. A crack in her voice - a tear springing from her eye that hadn’t been there a moment before, rolling down her cheek. “You wouldn’t take that risk, Bennett? To bring him back?”

He wanted to say no, but it got stuck in his throat. She still grieved for him, as hard as he ever did, and it annihilated the space between them, blurred the final lines.

He pushed his chair back and got up - he needed a second. Not to be looking at her, not to be sharing feelings.

“Where are you going?”

are you leaving? don’t leave

He clasped his hands behind his head, breathed in and out, shut his eyes.

say something say something say something say something-

“There’s gonna be a hearing tomorrow,” he said, cutting off the flood of her thoughts she couldn’t control. “Or, not a hearing. A discussion, I guess.”

He turned to face her again; she was listening with rapt attention. She hadn’t been told yet.

“They’re gonna talk about whether there’s any kind of precedent they can fall back on for this, anything at all. I don’t know if they want me there as a witness or a human lie detector, but they asked me to stay for it and I’m staying. After that, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll see you again, maybe I won’t. I have to think this-”

He gestured to the space between their heads again, at a loss for what to call it. “This’ll fade with time and distance. It’ll have to. It can’t stay forever.”

It couldn’t, could it?

#tw: suicidal ideation #tw: swears #tw: prison #writing #writing snippet #writing excerpt #original novel #my wip #oc: callie #oc: simon

[sortasirius]

Broken Wings, Pretty Things

AN: Based on this bc I saw it today and I’m trash

Pairing: Steve/Bucky

Words: 1662

Read on AO3 here

Bucky doesn’t pay attention to the passage of time anymore.  The room they keep him in has large windows, but even the moonlight burns his eyes, so he has no way of knowing whether it’s night or day.  He just knows they wake him up several times a day to strap him to a table and pump him full of things that make his entire body burn.

Even so, it’s been awhile since anyone’s been by.  They usually had him on a pretty strict schedule.  He doesn’t have the energy to look around, to try and fight or escape.  He’s never been so tired in his life, but whatever they put into his veins keeps him awake, a deep, simmering pain he can’t shake.  He doesn’t know if the screaming that he’s hearing is outside or inside his own head.

Vaguely, he becomes aware that there’s someone in the room with him.  He keeps repeating his classification, his number, determined not to forget this most precious information.  Well, that and light blue eyes, but he couldn’t forget those, not even in the middle of a war, not even when he left those eyes behind in Brooklyn.

“Bucky?”

The voice stirs something in him, but it can’t be, just another fever dream brought on by the chemicals that ran through his blood.  That voice couldn’t be here, that voice was across an ocean, safe, not thinking about him. That voice, which he had heard in his dreams for years, didn’t belong in this place. He had always done whatever it took to protect that voice, it’s carrier. How could it be here?

“Oh my God.”

He feels the straps around him being pulled off, and he tries to focus on his savior.  Tall, broad, military gear.

But those eyes.  He’d know those eyes anywhere.

“Is that...”

He can’t let himself speak his name, because if this wasn’t true, if this person was someone else...now that might really break him.

“It’s me,” says the man. Bucky tries to focus, sees the nose, which isn’t as crooked, the face, which is lined in worry, the shoulders, which aren’t hunched, holding in a cough, “It’s Steve.”

Bucky doesn’t care that he looks different. He doesn’t care that he looks about seven feet taller and as wide as a truck. He doesn’t care, he just can’t tear his eyes away from him.

“Steve?”

He can feel his lips curl up involuntarily, the first smile he’s had on his face in what feels like years.  His eyes, which he had kept closed for so long, were suddenly wide open, drinking Steve in like a man in a desert craves a glass of tall water.  He reaches out almost blindly, desperate to make contact with some part of Steve, only to realize Steve’s hands are wrapped almost all the way around his forearms.  The difference in his physical appearance is jarring, but his face, his eyes, the soft smile he gives Bucky, that’s all the same.  It’s all exactly the same and it feels like someone’s switched the IV in his arm from the chemicals to pure sunshine, filling him to the brim with warmth.

“Come on,” Steve pulls him up, and Bucky takes a second to steady himself, still clinging to the leather of Steve’s jacket, unable and completely unwilling to let go.

“Steve.”

He could say his name a million times, it would never be enough.

Steve looks at him, his brows knitting together in that telltale way when he’s really worried or focused on something, and touches the side of Bucky’s face lightly with the palm of his hand.  It takes absolutely everything in Bucky not to sink into the touch and be buried in the feel of it.

“I thought you were dead.”

It’s Bucky’s turn to take him in, and he realizes, with a little jolt, that Steve is taller than him now.  Taller, clearly stronger, standing straight up, not with that hunch in his posture from his joint issues.  What is he supposed to say when the man he’s known all his life, the man he’s loved for all his life, is so different yet so the same?  He goes for the joke, it’s easier than the alternative.

“I thought you were smaller.”

An explosion in the distance pulls Steve’s eyes away from him, but Bucky can’t take his eyes off Steve, still a little afraid that this is all a terrible dream, that he’ll blink and Steve will be gone again, disappeared into the hazy corners of his mind that he could only retreat to when they left him alone to battle with the poison they put in his blood.

“Come on,” Steve pulls him along with ease, supporting almost all of his body weight, while Bucky’s tries to remember how to use his legs.  He can’t stop staring at Steve, who’s checking the corners like a real soldier, but Bucky can’t compute that, can’t understand how he’s grown a foot and is supporting his weight like it’s nothing, not when, six months ago, Bucky had spent two weeks checking on Steve every day to make sure the New York winter didn’t kill him with his asthma.

“What happened to you?” he manages, still trying to get his feet under him.  Steve doesn’t seem to be bothered by his weight.

“I joined the Army.”

The make it down one hallway until Bucky finally manages to support his own weight.  Steve lets him walk on his own, and though he appreciates the gesture of not needing help, he immediately misses the contact with Steve. 

Steve walks purposefully in front of him, still checking corners and keeping his eye on Bucky.  Bucky has about a million questions, and questions will keep him from falling asleep on his feet.

“Did it hurt?”

“A little.”

So a lot.

Bucky suddenly thinks of what they had been pumping into him for the last month.  The whispers he had heard of a super soldier, a new creation, the way to turn the tide in the war.  Fear settles in his gut like poison.

“Is this permanent?”

Steve shrugs, looking back at him again.

“So far.”

The make it to the hangar, which is already a torrent of heat and explosions.  Bucky has no idea where they’re going, but he would follow Steve anywhere.  Even death, if that’s where they were headed.

Bucky loses track of his mind when they come face to face with a man he had only seen in the shadows of the base, a commander of some kind, but one that never stopped to look at him long.  All he knows is that Steve throws a punch at the man that would have broken the old Steve’s wrist.  He was never much of a fighter, no matter his intentions.  A doctor that Bucky recognizes from his time in the green room separates them by splitting the bridge.  That was probably a good thing, he reflects, when the man Steve punched peels off his own face to reveal a horrible red skull.

“You don’t have one of those do you?” he asks Steve quietly, unable to handle the world in front of him without humor.

The two leave he and Steve in the middle of the exploding hangar, and it takes Steve only seconds to see their only hope: one last beam that could get them to safety.

“Come on.  Let’s go, up,” Steve tries to push him to go up the stairs first, but Bucky sidesteps immediately, thinking of the pact he had made with himself at 13 years old.  Steve always goes up the stairs first.  It doesn’t matter that he’s different now, Bucky has to look out for him.  Always.

Steve insists that Bucky go first, and he can feel immediately that the beam isn’t going to last long.  The heat is overwhelming, like it could melt steel, and he just makes it across before the beam collapses, falling into the depths of the fire.  Leaving him and Steve separated.

Bucky’s brain immediately clears, not filled with the fog of the pain he’s in, the exhaustion.  There’s a problem in front of him, the biggest problem, and he’s going to find a solution, to get Steve to where he was, to get Steve out of here.

“There’s gotta be a rope or something-”

“Just go!  Get out of here!”

Bucky feels the anger rising in his throat.  As if he would ever, ever leave Steve.

“No not without you!”

He seems to understand that his options were get across, or watch them both die.  He bends back metal like pipe cleaners, and Bucky is suddenly, viscerally reminded of the crafts his sisters would bring home when they were children.  But this was a war, and there’s no art in war.

Steve makes a jump that no one should be able to make, one that you only hear about in stories, and they get off the base with just seconds to spare.  Bucky refuses the medical attention offered to him as they start the long trek back to base, instead walking next to Steve, stealing a glance at him every so often, forgetting, more than once, to look up instead of down.

“Thank you,” Bucky whispers to Steve halfway through the night, as the men around them chatter animatedly about showers and good food, eager to get back to a military base where they were soldiers and not prisoners.

“Come on pal,” Steve grips the back of his neck gently in the darkness, where they knew no one could see, “You’d do the same for me.”

You’re right, Bucky thinks, watching Steve step into the role of leader he had always been suited for, in all ways but physical.  Now they can see what I always have, he thinks dryly, still unable to tear his eyes away from the blue eyes that would carry across his dreams for the rest of his life.

#my writing #stucky #not spn #mcu #catfa

[violetnotez]

Is the this the longest fic Ive ever written? Yes. Does it suck? Also yes. Will nobody read it because it makes no sense but Im still going to post because I wasted way too much damn on this thing? TRIPLE YES.

Word count: 10.4k words (she thicc)

Genre: Angst and Fluff, sfw

AU: Fantasy AU!, Hanahaki disease

Prompt: “How could your keep this from?”

Warnings: blood

Summary: You are born into a worls where you must marry your best friend, Prince Shoto, in order to unite your kingdoms in harmony. You are happy to marry your childhood friend and love, until he leaves for a quest unannounced, and you are left questioning if you really want to marry him. Once he returns a few weeks before your planned wedding, you begin to not fall in love with him, but one of his comrades- the barbarian, Bakugo. 

*this is for the even for @bnhabookclub​! Heres the link to the post if your interested!

Again. welcome to the shitshow that is my blog. read at your own risk cause this gets REAL WIERD REAL QUICK

Petals-all you could see were the petals.

Your mouth and  throat felt so dry, your forehead damp with sweat as your back convulsed painfully, raspy coughs wracking out of your chest as you forced the petals out of your body.

They were so pale, like creamy vanilla, a stark contrast from the droplets of your blood splattered on the delicate buds.

You quickly reached for your handkerchief, wiping the residue off your dry mouth in fear of it dribbling on to your white dress-your wedding dress. Your hands were shaking, unable to cry any more tears at your misery-you had come to terms many weeks ago that you were going to reach an unhappy end.

Why did it have to be him?

----------------

You were the princess of your kingdom, destined to marry Prince Shoto of the neighboring kingdom. It was something you two had been accustomed to from birth- in order to connect  the two kingdoms and end the quarrels between the two civilizations, you had to marry. It would be a harmonious marriage: Prince Shoto was kind, soft spoken, and a natural born leader. You two had been wonderful friends as siblings, your fathers putting away their troubles in order for you two to get along. They were hoping that by making you friends at a young age, you would learn to grow feelings for each other.

 For a time, it worked-you had fallen for Prince Shoto, his soft yet powerful demeanor making you  blush each time you remembered him, your young hands writing your name with his last in your journal like a prayer. At 13 you already began to count down the days until you would turn 18, because on that day, you were set to marry your predestined lover- Shoto Todoroki.

For years you had felt so lucky you were blessed with such a sweet boy to be with, being able to live out your lives harmoniously and in peace, something both your parents didn't have the luxury to have. It sometimes left you feeling frustrated- Shoto was truly kind, but very quiet about his thoughts. Your love felt one sided, Shoto seemingly only tolerating you because he had to. 

Once he got older, he became more distant towards you, clearly wishing to rebel against his father’s wishes by being distant towards you. It hurt you immensely to see your best friend and crush plainly reject you, but you still held on to the hope that you two could be happy with each other. Yet all that changed when the Prince had left for a quest.

He had been gone for what seemed like an eternity and for a time, you were extremely worried. You could barely focus on your studies, only imagining your poor friend somewhere cold, hungry, and alone. You knew he would be fine, he was a resilient fighter, but yet you couldn't help but allow the worrisome thoughts to collect in your brain. After news that the Prince was in a neighboring kingdom, safely traveling with a young boy, a witch, and a warrior, you felt at ease- with all those comrades, he was sure to be safe. You finally breathed a sigh of relief, able to calm your anxieties after a long time of being unable to.

 Information continued to trickle in, sometimes good and sometimes bad, but it always stated that the Prince was spotted safe and sound. You took solace in that information, and for awhile, you began to worry less and less about Shoto, until he was barely a memory.

During that time, you had begun to take on the habit of reading. Before it was a task you simply did when forced or extremely bored, only reading books and stories from your own kingdom. 

With so much extra time on your hands waiting upon the Prince to return, you began to learn of other stories, ones that were trully a delight to you: stories of nomads who traveled the country and did rituals to bring them fortunes, women who sold potions by gathering mystical ingredients from the woods, people choosing their own destines and their own paths. It intrigued you- from birth you had one mission for your life: to unite your kingdoms. Once you married Prince Shoto, your destiny would be complete: and then what would you do? You had no other purpose, except being a symbol of that peace for the rest of your life, sitting pretty on a throne until your last breath. 

It began to eat at your insides, gnaw at your conscience that you were merely a pawn in your father’s legacy. You could now fully understand why Shoto had been so defiant: he had realized the truth of his life as well.

Slowly, you began to learn to dread instead of anticipate your wedding day. With the Prince being gone, it was sending quite a ruckus in your home, your father more annoyed with each passing day that the Prince had not come back. You, on the other hand, rejoiced. The kings had both agreed at your times of birth that if anything happened to either child before your 18th birthday, the agreement would be cancelled and the marriage no more. They would rely on their children to fix their broken ties. 

You had just turned 17, the mental clock beginning to tick  in you and your father’s minds, as the Prince still wasn't back form his quest. Just a few more months, and you would both have your wishes: Shoto seemed to have no interest in marrying you, and why should you even for that matter? You two truly didnt love each other- your friendship was a hoax your fathers had created in order to save their own legacies. Your love for each other was man-made and a lie. Just a few more months, and you'd be free of this terrible fate.

------------

The day you turned 17 and a half, you were busying yourself on your plush pink bed, reading another novel about free spirited women in a far off land.

“Princess y/n,” your hand maiden opened the door quietly, afraid of disturbing you, “the King would like to speak with you.”

You gave your shy handmaiden a small smile, delicately marking the spot in your book as your feet landed on the cold floor. 

“Thank you,” you replied, “Ill be there shortly.”

You entered your father’s study, his feet stomping the room heavily as he paced in deep thought.

The room was grand, a golden chair sitting in front of an old ebony desk, the room surrounded by maps, battle plans, and bookcases full of legends of stories written long before your time. Light flitted through long windows against the wall, looking out to the rural countryside and a matching red carpet run the lengths of the stone floors.

Your entrance seemed to have disturbed your Father’s train of thought, his head instantly looking to see who had interrupted him. Once he saw it was you, he sighed, greeting you with a tight smile.

“You wished to see me Father?’ you asked politely, your fingers tugging nervously at the sleeves of your dress. Your father never called upon you unless it was extremely important- had you done something wrong? You wracked your mind for any actions that would had been unwise for your father to find out, but to your surprise, you couldnt think of a single thing you had done.

“Yes, yes,” your father said hastily, waving his hands toward a small wooden chair at the foot of his desk, “please-sit. We have much to discuss.”

You sat on the hard chair, a chill traveling your back as you watched your father sit in his plush throne, his face clearly tired.

“As we all know, Prince Shoto has been on a quite a long quest for some time,” your father began, his voice deep with annoyance, “and has not come back. And with your 18th birthday fast approaching, and it worries me that the boy wont be back in time for your marriage. I have talked to King Todoroki about my worries,  who also had the same fear, and he promised to bring the boy back and end his little shenanigan. But Shoto refuses to leave until his quest is complete.” 

Your father took in a deep breath through his nose, his face a mix of anger and agitation.

Your heart beat excitedly- the prince wasnt coming back? The news bounced happily inside you, giving you some hope that you needed- that must have been why he had gone on that quest in the first place! Even though you were excited, you felt a tightness in your chest- you were childhood firend after all. He really didnt like you that much that he felt he had to run away?

“Oh dont look so solemn daughter,” your father comforted, his voice soft with sympathy,” Shotos father allowed the boy to finish his quest in 5 months’ time, and he is forced to return to his kingdom. In the meantime, we can not forget the whole reason for your marriage like young Todoroki has- you must connect the kingdoms in order to bring harmony.``

“Which is why,” your father added, “we must begin to plan the wedding.”

Your head shot up, the feeling of shock flooding your body. It was still going to happen? Your body began to feel heavy, your father's words fuzzy against your ear- you didn't want this, any of this. You felt trapped like a songbird in a cage, unable to scream out what you desperately wanted to say: if he didnt love you, you didnt want any part of this.

Your father seemed to not notice the look of terror on your face, continuing to inform you of his plan. “We already have sent out invitation to relatives and noblemen in other countries, as well as begin to plan out the festivities. It will be a 3 day event, full of food and parties and, of course, the celebration of our kingdoms coming together. The closer to the date, we will begin to need you for fittings of your dresses as well as rehearse your wedding vows and such. I promise I will make this as wonderful as I can, for you are my only daughter.” 

The king smiled at you, wrapping your stiff body into a hug. You could barely feel his embrace- the world was numb to your screaming mind. You wished upon everything in you to end this, to make this all go away, but you knew you couldn't- you would be forced to do this whether you wanted to or not. 

You simply nodded your head to your father’s parting words, and then ran to your quarters, shutting the door and ceremoniously throwing yourself on your bed in defeat.

--------------

For days you felt numb and broken, all fight leaving your body. You watched as all your handmaidens and servants ran like chickens around the castle, preparing for the enormous festivities coming in close time. You were a good and proper princes, silently placid and allowing everything around you to happen.

 Flower arrangements, samples of sweets, and  fabrics for your dresses all came to you, and you agreed to all of them or just randomly choose. You could care less for your “special day”- the only thing you could truly hope for was prince Shoto ignoring his father’s wishes and not coming back.

That, of course, was a wishful fantasy. You were having a blissful dream when your hand maiden barged into your room, clearly too excited to be considerate of your sleeping state.

“Miss y/n! Miss y/n! Oh please wake up! There is most wonderful news!” she cried excitedly, gently pulling the covers off your body, “You must get ready at once!”

“Prince Shoto- he is back from his quest!”

---------

The whole of the kingdom rejoiced at the news, since he had arrived a month before the wedding. He was here, ready to marry and unite the kingdom. That was all that truly mattered.

Your handmaiden dressed you in your most elegant gown, the icy aqua color bringing out the rosiness of your cheeks, as she placed pearly ornaments in your hair. You felt like you were being presented as a gift to the Prince, a reminder of what he was destined to do. You sighed, dreading having to reunite with your once friend and secret love.

Shoto was standing in the ballroom of your castle, very accustomed to it since you both played here occasionally as children. He was used to the golden floors and the crystal chandeliers the sizes of boulders, all hung gracefully in a row on the ebony ceiling. Him and his company were standing shoulder to shoulder, facing the polished staircase cascading towards them.

He looked at his new found friend’s faces, their expressions clearly in shock. Izuku, his face ruddy with dirt and his cheeks aflame from nervousness as he twisted his shirt between his fingers (a nervous tick Shoto had noticed).  Uraraka gawked at the room around her in awe, her wide eyes drinking up the scene in front of her. Bakugo was least impressed, his arms crossed in front of his exposed chest and his eyes formed in judgmental slits.

 Shoto had told the others before why he had to go back, but only after the quest was over- he wanted to help his new found friends, and after promising to help them in their battle, he would have felt extremely guilty leaving them behind. 

Their reactions were mixed when he revealed he had a marriage in a few weeks time- Izuku was clearly shocked yet in awe hed be marrying a princess, while Uraraka seemed to find the situation romantic. Bakugo simply laughed, mocking him from being such a “sissy” for actually getting married in the first place.

Shoto was feeling conflicted inside at the moment- it had been so long since he had last seen you, and when he had, he was less than kind to you. He was quiet, distant, and quite petty about the whole situation of your marriage. You had turned barely 17 when he left, his young body desperate for some adventure and resilient to his father’s wishes. He merely saw you as a nuisance, someone in the way of his freedom. He knew it was unkind and unjustified, you didn't know what was going on inside him, but he was angry nevertheless and desperate to leave. So when he was approached by young boy in need of a friend for his quest, it was hard to resist the offer.

But as nights when on and he had time to be alone with his thoughts, his mind always seemed to travel to you. The way you giggled, your laughs sounding like chimes in the wind, or how your smile always seemed to make his skin tingle with warmth.

 You were always a strange girl, but always in the best way, daring Shoto to races even thought your father said it was “unlike a princess to do so” or trying to braid Shoto’s mix-matched hair.

 He would never forget the day he had allowed you to do so, your nimble fingers soft against his skin and making him burn up from nervousness. Your touch was so calming and soothing, your small compliments and soft voice sending his soul soaring with pleasure. It was then he realized he had loved you for you, not because he was forced to.

Shoto felt guilty for forgetting those cherished memories in his fits of anger, but he had agreed to help Izuku and he vowed to not give up on that promimse. Months went on, and Shoto couldnt tell how much time had passed: he only hoped you were doing okay without him. 

It wasnt until his father had came to collect him that he realized how short he was on time. He had still stuck by his friends, yet the constant reminders of your wedding was in the air, haunting him. They would travel through kingdoms, the whispers of this event following him as the townspeople began to talk. It was a wonder his friends never caught on except him, only to find out weeks before your wedding.

Now Shoto was standing in the ballroom, feeling quite nervous- he hadnt seen you in so long….would you look any different? He was certain your beauty had grown by then, the thought of you looking older and more womanly bringing a blush to his cheeks. How would you see him? He had become quite a different person on his quest, his body becoming more hardened from battles with bandits and the harsh life of travelling. Would you feel the same for him still? Were you just as excited as you were so many years ago to finally be together?

Shoto heard the clicks of shoes on the wooden floor, a man with the straightest back he had ever seen standing proudly at the steps of the stairs.The man took a deep breath, his voice traveling through the room as he announced your arrival to the group of travelers. 

Yet Shoto didnt hear a single word he said- he was enraptured by your beauty. You had seemed to turn into a fine young woman since he had last seen you, your curves accentuated by the tightness of your gown, the blue complimenting you perfectly. Your hair flowed in soft ringlets on your back, the pearls in your hair like stars. You were an angel blessed to this planet- an angel he was destined to marry.

The only thing that was worrying him was your expression- he had expected you to seem so much more lively, welcoming the bright smile you would always give him when you saw him. But now, your face was gone of any warmth, looking almost numb to the situation as you looked down at the group.

You traveled down the stairs, hating the way your name sounded in the announcer's voice. This was all so cliche- the Prince comes from a quest, and there is the Princess, simply a prize for his hardwork. A trophy of sorts for doing a good deed. Why did it have to be this why? Why couldnt you feel anything? The world had felt so cold for so long, feeling trapped due to the lack of control you had. Everything had seemed to loose its splendor and color, your vision for weeks turning gray in sadness-

Until you saw him.

The ash blonde boy, his hair unruly and his eyes a bright red like blood. He was clad in strange clothes, like a barbarian, his chest completely open and showcasing his taut muscles. You were intrigued by him- you had only seen likes of him in books and stories you read. He was so different, so menacing, and you wanted to know more. He was the only thing you could focus on, not taking any time to look at the others in the group, including Shoto.

Shoto was the first to reach you, unafraid to approach you like the rest of the group as you reached the bottom of the steps.

“Y/n-” he said, his voice deep and airy, “you look-wonderful.”

You gave him a small smile, but it made his heart sink- you didnt look happy at all. It seemed forced, far from the bright grins you used to send his way all the time.

“As do you, Shoto. You look quite different from when we last saw each other.”

You quickly turned your attention away from him, focusing on his new comrades instead.

 “I assume these are the young heroes that accompanied you on your journey?”

“Y-yes!” the young boy with the unruly green hair stuttered, nervously bowing his head. He was quite adorable in a way, his small stature and freckles dusted on his cheeks giving him a child-like quality (even though he was most likely your age). “My name is Izuku Midoriya!”

You gave a reassuring smile to the young boy, trying to make him feel comfortable.

 “It is wonderful to meet you Izuku.”

You began to walk towards the girl know, her pointy yet colorful hat signaling that she was a light witch, a sorceress who used your powers for good.

The girl shimmied in her dusty boots, clearly as nervous as the boy. She lifted the corners of her cloth dress, bowing slightly. 

“My name is Ochaco Uraraka, your highness,” she smiled sweetly, her cheeks dusted in a pinky glow.

“Ochaco…” you mused over the name, its sound foregin yet light on your tongue, “you are a light witch, I assume?”

“Yes, yes I am!” the girl practically squealed, relief seemingly flooding her face. ‘How did you know?”

You giggled a her amazement at you, completely unaware apparently that she had the most witch-like outfit you had ever seen.

“A lucky guess,” you shrugged your shoulders playfully as you began to walk again, your heart beginning to race as you edged toward the barbarian.

You stopped in front of the man, his stature a head taller than yours. You eyes looked slightly up at him, your cheeks reddening- he was much more handsome up close, his rugged features making you feel breathless. He un-apologetically judged you with his vermilion eyes, looking you up and down with scorn.

Why did you find that so attractive?

“And you are-” 

“My name is Bakugo.” he instantly interrupted you, his voice deep and velevty like syrup, “thats all you need to know.”

“Bakugo?” Your brain searched for any name similar to that, but found none- this boy was definitely a foreigner, most likely from far off lands you could only dream of. You had no idea why he followed Shoto back to the kingdom, but you were happy he did- he was definitely a sight for sore eyes.

“A warrior, I assume by your garments,” you nodded, your eyes trailing to his torso “and by the looks of your scars, an experienced one.”

He scoffed at your observations, his eyes rolling in his sockets.

“For a princess, your eyes wander a damn lot. But yeah- Im hella of a good warrior. Best in the kingdoms.”

You cocked an eyebrow at his language, your cheeks red  by his comment. He was so unapologetic and rude, yet- it was intoxicating to you. 

“I’m glad to here that.”

Shoto was eyeing you sadly the whole time- what was so different between you two? Why did you seem so welcoming to the others but so distant to him? His face began to turn red with fury as he watched you interact with Bakugo, the way Bakugo insulted you so plainly and cockily making him want to yell. He watched as your face had light up for just a moment when you spoke with him, something Shoto didn't get the luxury to experience. 

He also noticed what Bakugo had vocalized- you eyes did wander when you looked at him. Shoto at first tried to rationalize that you were simply being curious, since Bakugo was definitely a strange sight for you, but the way your cheeks blushed and you smiled so warmly at him made him think otherwise.

 What did you see in that barbarian that you didnt with Shoto? 

You looked again at the odd group, taking a deep breath through your lungs.

“I want to congratulate you all for your successful quest,” you began, the lines slightly rehearsed, “and as thanks from my father for bringing back Prince Shoto, he would like to welcome you all for dinner tonight. We  would love to hear all about your journey then,” you then snuck one last look at Bakugo, his eyes boaring into yours. It was making you feel a warmth inside that you had thought long ceased.

You instantly looked down at your hands, your cheeks feeling hot. You knew this was wrong- you shouldn't feel smitten for any other boy, especially this warrior, yet you couldnt help it- you were entranced by his resilience and the freedom he had, something you could only dream of. 

“If youll excuse me, I have - things to attend to. It was a pleasure to see you all” you gave the group a tight smile, turning your back quickly from the group to follow your handmaiden back to your quarters.

Shoto watched you until you were gone, his heart beating painfully. He wished he could run up to you, grab you by your wrist and ask you what was the matter. It was still him, your friend for all those years, and you were still you, his love and his best friend. Were you beginning to forget, like he did? He felt his stomach drop painfully at the idea- he would ask you, tonight. He would figure out what had happened between you two, and fix it.

--------------

You were now at dinner, sitting stiffly as you moved your food around your plate, your tight corset making you feel un-hungry. All night you had been detached and quiet, feeling almost sick by your surroundings. Your father was overly outgoing to the guest,giving you side-eyed glances and trying to enter you in the conversation. You would simply smile and nod, occasionally throwing in a comment before returning to squishing your food between your utensils.

The only time you ever seemed interested was when Bakugo would speak. His comments were all snarky and rude, completely self centered about how strong or intelligent he was.

 He was constantly proving his worth throughout the dinner, taking over the story of their journey when he saw fit, making sure everyone knew he was the most capable one of the group. It was obscene, his remarks, his language, even his personality, but- you were intrigued by it. The only person he had to listen to was himself. It was so intoxicating to watch him talk, to hear what other remarks would leave his mouth. Whenever he spoke, you stood up a little straighter, taking time to take in any information he gave about himself and immortalize it  into your brain.

Shoto had felt awkward the whole meal, not knowing how to gauge your emotions. You seemed so distant, as if a stranger was sitting next to him. He wished he could enter your mind, detangle all the emotions and thoughts that were keeping you from being yourself around him. There was no laughter, no genuine smiles, no happiness came from you. This bothered him- you were usually so cheerful. His nervousness was eating the inside of his stomach, as his mind still couldn't figure out how to approach you after dinner.

“-and the wedding will be a three day celebration, full of festivities,” your father continued boisterously, his voice booming embarrassingly around the room, “Shoto and y/n will be the main attention, of course, over 200 noblemen will see them share vows-”

The sound of your chair pushing away echoed throughout the dining hall, making the whole group look to you. You cleared your throat delicately, a hand resting on your chest.

“Excuse me for my rudeness, but Im feeling- unwell,” you sighed a quick smile.

“Are you alright, do I need to-” the king asked, his eyes full of concern as you shook of his worries.

“Oh no, Im completely fine- just a headache,” you gave a pained smile, “I hope you all enjoy the rest of the meal.”

Shoto watched you walk away, desperate to make sure he knew which way you went in this large castle. He instantly pushed away from the table as well, rising quietly. 

“I- uh-am full, thank you for the meal,” he bowed to the King slightly, placing his napkin on his plate as he rushed out, confusing the group that was left.

Izuku and Ochaco looked at each other, their cheeks red with embarrassment and shock as they looked at Bakugo, who was clearly not bothered by the disturbance. Ochaco then looked at the king, who was clearly confused by the whole ordeal, as an awkward air lay heavy on the table.

Ochaco hastily took a large bite from her plate, filling her mouth with food- “MMMMMM!” she exaggerated, trying to start up conversation again, “I LOVE the ham!” 

------------

Shoto ran around the castle, looking through every corridor and door, searching for you.His head was racing, trying to organize his thoughts in his minds. He needed to figure out how to speak to you- should he act normal, like nothing was wrong? Should he be formal and see how that went? Angry? Upset? He didnt know how to approach you, but he knew he had to do it.

 He finally saw your gown turn an empty hallway, his feet picking up pace. He quickly was able to catch up once he could pin point your location, his hand wrapping around your wrist in order to stop you. 

 You felt slender,cool fingers wrap around your skin, making your body run cold. You instantly jumped by the sudden touch, all breath leaving your body as you turned around quickly.

Your wide eyes met the mix matched orbs of Shoto, a small pang of annoyance filling your body from getting so scared.

“Shoto,” you replied breathlessly, slightly happy though it was only him and not somebody else that had grabbed you.

“I-uh-y/n,” he replied back, his mind going blank.

He let go of your wrists, his hands resting at the side of his body. “I-Im sorry to scare you like that,” he apologized, “I just- wanted to speak to you. If you’ll let me.”

You looked at the boy, his eyes now averting yours, probably from nerves. You decided to listen, turning your body to him. 

“Apology accepted,” you said plainly, “What did you want to speak about?”

Shoto drew a blank- what did he want to talk about? He loved hearing your voice, finally only reserved for him, but yet you seemed preoccupied. Distant. Like you were on another world and not truly there with him.

He stared at you lightly, looking extremely conflicted. “I-I wanted to talk to you about what happened while I was gone.”

“You explained quite plainly what happened on your journey,” you replied, clearly not in the mood to talk, “I applaud you for your bravery, it must have been quite a difficult journey-” you gave him a small bow, your eyes gone of any warmth. “I really must go to bed, Im sorry, but i do feel-”

You began to walk away again, Shoto desperate to keep you near him. He walked in font you, blocking your path.

“You didnt here me correctly-” he changed his wording this time, trying to be as specific as possible. “I want to know what happened to you while I was gone.”

You eyebrows turned down in confusion. “What are you trying to say Shoto?”

He swallowed, trying to clear his dry throat as he licked his lips, conflicted. 

“You seem-different.”

“Its been a year and a half since I last saw you, Shoto,” you reasoned, “of course Ill be different.”

“Yes, but-” he paused, “youre too different. Youre not the same y/n I knew.”

“Why? Because Im not following you around like a love sick puppy?” Annoyance began to bubble inside, feeling attacked by Shoto’s words. “Because I finally got over the fact you didnt love me ? You dont have to pretend Shoto, I know full well you only see me as a nuisance.”

Shock flooded Shoto’s system as your icy words pierced his skin. What happened to you? Yes, he was rude to you before he left, but he didnt feel like that anymore. That was a simple phase, were you going to define him by that?

“I dont see you as a nuisance, y/n.”

“Really?” you scoffed at his words. “then tell me why your father had to go out to find you twice before you finally decided to come back?”

“I made a promise to my friends. I had to finish my quest before-”

“You had a promise to me, Shoto!” you yelled exasperatedly, your heart bursting with hurt. “To your family! To my family! Our people! What was so much more important than that?”

“I was so worried about you Shoto, terrified for you. Those first few months I couldnt think of anything but you.” You were beginning to reveal a lot, too much, but the emotions, the hurt, the anger, was flooding out of you like a broken dam and you couldn't stop it. 

“But then I realized that you didnt care for me. You thought I didn't notice how you gave me the cold shoulder those last few months? How you ignored me,  only gave me quick answers, acted as if I was just a pest following you around? I remembered all of it, and then I realized- you left because of me.”

“You left because of me, didn't you, Shoto?” your voice was harsh and crude like metal, stabbing into Shoto’s conscience.

He stayed silent- how could he say anything back? Your words were making him feel small and foolish- he should have known that you would have noticed his change in demeanor, just as he noticed yours.

You smiled painfully at his silence, feeling a fresh cut of pain slash inside you. “I knew it.”

“Y/n, I-” There was so much he wanted to say, things he wanted to take back. He didnt want this meeting to go like this- with you even more distant to him. Out of all the possible outcomes, this had to be the worst one. 

“Dont even try to backtrack Shoto, I know the truth now,you just confirmed it.”

He knew he was less than kind to you before he left, but know it wasnt like that anymore. Why were you so angry?

“Fine-yes-I left, and it wasnt right,” he admitted, his voice deep, “but Im back. Why are you putting my old self against me now?”

“Because I couldn't for the year and half you were gone! I-I loved you Shoto, and you-”

“You dont love me anymore?” Shoto looked down at you sadly, his eyes full of sorrow. It felt like his heart was breaking in two, the way those words spilled out your mouth so easily making it sting even more.

You swallowed, filling a pit grow in your chest. Everything felt so cold, so empty. This was your best friend- why couldn't you just be nice to him? You thought you had gotten over all this.

“You dont love me-so  why should I love you?” your voice was barely a whisper, cold and empty in the frigid hallway.

Shoto stared down at you, his voice caught in his throat. Did you really believe that? That he didnt love you?You had been friends since children- you really thought all those times, all those days you played together, were all fake? Who even were you?

“I just want you to know,” you spoke, your voice monotone and  icy,” Im not doing this for my father, or your father, or even you. Im doing this for my people and thats it.”

“It” meaning the wedding.

Tears began to prickle your lashline, confusion flooding your numb body as you began to walk away from Shoto- 

you hadnt cried in what seemed like forever. 

Why were you now? 

“Y/n, please, can we just talk-” he tried to reason, harsh with desperation. 

“No.” your voice was plain in its tone that you were done with the conversation.

 “Im just curious Shoto- why did you come back? Because if I had the luxury to have all that freedom, to be free for once- I wouldnt.”

Shoto’s heart felt broken  as he watched you walk away, your dress ruffling as you continued on your path. He felt defeated, confused, even angry- what had happened to you since he had been gone? Did you really hate him that much? What did you mean you had no freedom? More questions flooded his mind than what were answered, but he now knew one thing- you didnt want anything to do with him.

As Shoto’s was returning to his corrdiors sadly, you were lost in thought, just feeling- empty. You didnt feel sad, or angry, or even spitefu anymorel. Just- numb to the world. You could walk for miles and miles it seemed and you wouldnt feel a thing. 

Why was that? Why were so mean to your long lost firend? You should be hugging him from happiness and relief-not meeting him with coldness and hate. 

As you were lost in thought, you didn't even notice yourself running into a person. Your hand instantly reached out, meeting soft yet rough skin. You looked up in confusion ,and your breath hitch- it was the barbairan, his vermilion eyes like rubies as he stared down at you in scorn.

“Oi, watch were your going you damn princess,” he scolded,pushing you off him gently. You stumbled slightly, trying to get your footing right- you had run in to him, you had even touched him. If you were feeling alright, and if the circumstances were different, you could practically squeal. “Youre gonna hurt someone.”

“Did I hurt you?”  

He scoffed at your comment. “Like you could ever hurt me,” his voice was deep and velvety, his comment sending shocwaves into your system. The reply was prideful, yet it could have been- sweet. Kind, in a way in a different light- maybe he meant it like that?

“How do you know that?” you blurted out, a small smirk crawling across your lips.

You just wanted him to talk more, to hear that velvety voice directed towards you- but you were close to flirting with him. What were you doing? What was going on with you? 

One second you were chewing out your life time friend weeks before your wedding, and now you were being smitten with a random man you didn't even know.

He chuckled slightly, his canines glinting. “Your a fucking handful, arentcha?”

He eyed your wobbling feet, as you still were finding your footing slightly.

“You clearly cant walk right-you feeling fine, because Im not gonna be the one who carries you-”

“No, no , Im fine.” you reassured, your cheeks rosy. ‘Thank you for catching me.”

“Youre the one who ran into me.”

“You could have just pushed me off though, you seem like the type to do that,” you gave him a cheeky grin, it disappearing when you heard a slight growl come form him.

“The hell you mean princess?” he was trying to be menacing, but you could tell there was something behind it- he was curious. You loved how he called you “princess”, making it sound like a pet name than  a title.

“Your a lone wolf, are you not? You are strong, independent, free-” you began to list off, your eyes focusing on his, “you follow your own code and beliefs”

“Damn right I do,” he agreed, your heart soaring that he looked so proud of you for describing him so perfectly. “-which is why Im confused as hell that half-and-half prince is allowing himself to get married.”

Ouch.

The small amount of hope that Bakugo seemed to like  you had quickly got destroyed, feeling hurt flood your body. You quickly tried to shake it off, so Bakugo couldn't see it on your face.

“What he even want to talk to you about anyway?” The boy shifted in his stance, his muscles moving with his movements.

You gulped, guilt filling your body- Shoto, the one who had just fought with. You couldnt tell this boy what had happened- that was private, and really, it was embarrassing.

“Just-uh-about-” you stammered, your cheeks red as you searched for a lie.

“Ugh, let me guess, you two were trading spit werent you?” he interrupted in disgust, taking your red cheeks as a sign you two were doing something unholy in the hallway. 

You swallowed, licking your lips as you gave him a tight lipped smile. You were just going to follow along with Bakugo’s line of reasoning- you didnt have any other better ideas. 

 “Y-yep, just- please dont tell anyone?” 

He gave a bitter laugh, his voice booming against your ears. “You guys cant get dirty? I guess that makes sense, since you all our royalty, cant be having any scandals-”

“Do you promise?” you rushed him, now feeling uncomfortable- if anybody heard you and Shoto were kissing in the hallway, and you two were really arguing-

“Yeah, dont worry princess, youre secrets safe with me.” 

You sighed a breath of relief, feeling your heart jump at the smirk the boy sent your way.

“Thank you- I- uh- best be going now,” you stammered, rushing past the warrior, “have a nice night Bakugo.”

You rushed to your room, your heart feeling on fire. Your hands were shaking, your mid racing- all you could think about was that boy. Your world had seemed so dark, until he showed up. His rude responses, his chaotic personality, his snarkiness, that overly prideful speech, his freedom- it was so intoxicating to you. You felt your heart pumping against your chest- you hadn't felt this alive in so long.

You suddenly felt very sick, your head feeling drowsy- maybe you were actually catching something, and thats why you were acting so strange? You were gasping for breath it seemed, your corset making it hard to breath. I felt like something was tightening around your chest, small prods poking into you from the inside- it was a strange sensation, one you did not welcome in the slightest. You stumbled to your bed, holding on to the post as your lungs felt tight with no air, liking something was blocking your passageway. Coughs began to erupt out of you, wracking your body until you finally felt you could breathe. You sucked in a deep breath, welcoming the sweet night air, your chest still feeling tight. You looked down at the ground, trying to slow your stammering heart, until your eyes feel upon something new- a single white petal, resting softly on the ground.

------------

After that night, You became obsessed with this boy, learning bits and pieces from him though conversation you had overheard from Shoto’s friends and workers inside the castle. You learned he was from an extremely far off land, past even the Mountains, which surprised you. He lived alone, and apparently had a dragon as well. He had  gotten in many fights due to his overly prideful personality, which was why he had so many scars decorating his taut body. Your handmaidens seemed to look at him with annoyance, saying he refused to wear anything “civilized” and would plainly cuss them out if they even set foot in his room to clean.

You knew he had a softer side though- he had kept your “secret” safe, right? You heard nothing around the castle about any make-out session or argument between you and Shoto. That little act made you feel special in someway- maybe he had a soft side for you?

Whenever you would feel yourself getting sucked into the sadness of planning your wedding, you’d think of fantasies with that barbarian boy. Him taking you in the middle of night, taking you far away from this place. His hands placed around your waist, that snarky smile looking down at you again.

 Seeing him walk around the castle grew a desperation and love in your body, watching his handsome face stare around the rooms, his voice loud and prideful- you wished he could look your way, acknowledge you again. His vermillion eyes sent fire into your soul whenever you closed his eyes, his face being a beacon of warmth in your life.

Yet that beacon of life was killing you from the inside- every day and every night you fantasized about Bakugo, the sickness taking over you grew worse and worse. The closer you got to your wedding day, the worse it felt, the vines inside you prickling at your soft organs. They were growing, you felt it, as you coughed up more and more petals. 

For a few days you had no idea what was going on, fear striking you as you wondered if you should ask to see a doctor. But you decided to do your own research, scourging through books until you found your sickness: Hanahaki. The the mythical disease for unrequited love. It was quite rare, but it came to the most lonely, delusional, and desperate of lovers.

 It made sense, really- it all started when you talked to Bakugo, after falling in his arms. It hurt he didnt love you back- but why should he? One run-in shouldn't make people fall in love with each other, but somehow it made you. You welcomed the pain alittle, as it was a reminder you still had some feeling other than emptiness inside you. It also terrfiied you- you were supposed to be in love with Shoto, not some barbarian from a far off land you barely spoke to.

  How had this happened, how could you let this happen?

Even if you did tell others you had Hanahaki, they would point the finger at Shoto, calling him cold and callous for not loving you. You were the one who was the cold one, pushing your old friend away. Even if you felt some residue of anger for him, you wouldn't put him through that- he didn't deserve it. You let this disease do its course- if it went away youd be freed, knowing that Bakugo loved you back, and if not- well, you’d figure that out when you got there.

You had barely talked to Shoto or even noticed him since that night, not realizing the amount of worry he felt towards you. Everyday that went by he noticed how sick you looked, your skin paling and you eyes losing any life. Every cough you tried to hold back he noticed and it rang in his ear like a terrible siren- there was something wrong with you.It ate at his insides, his fear of you pushing him away again making him scared to ask what was wrong.

------------

It was now the night before you wedding and you were feeling less than hopeful. You were supposed to be lively and happy, as your father had thrown a party to celebrate the events of the next day, yet you had no energy left in you to dance or socialize. You stayed in a dark corner, trying your best to blend in and not be noticed.

 The coughs were not leaving, and it felt like your chest was being constricted until you could barely breathe. The annoying tickle of a cough was constantly at the back of your throat, as you tried to keep the petals at bay. You were miserable.

“Princess, are you doing alright, you seem a little- pale? Do you need some water, or maybe fresh air,” the young witch Ochaco approached you, her rosy cheeks and bright eyes looking at you.

“Hello, Ochaco,” you greeted, your smile strained, “you know-fresh air would be nice.”

The sweet girl smiled at you, gingerly taking you by the crook of your elbow and out of the ballroom. The fresh air was rather nice, soothing your hurting brain and your sore lungs. You two walked in silence for a while, enjoying each other’s company. Your mind was shifting around, thinking about Shoto and what would happen tomorrow. It hurt too much, though- you still were both not at speaking terms, and now you had to be promised to each other for eternity. The thought made your throat itch even more, and instead, you  switched to own of your many fantasies of Bakugo that brought you some comfort.

“So, how are you feeling? Nervous, excited, scared?” Ochaco asked gingerly

“About what?” you asked, looking at her with curiosity

“Uh,um-your wedding,” she giggled nervously, her cheeks growing red again. 

Oh-you cursed yourself for getting to invested in your fantasy, feeling embarrassed for thinking of Bakugo and not about Shoto.

You really didnt know how to answer her question-You felt yourself dreading it-how could you tell her that? But you didnt want to lie to her- lying to her would be practically evil, like giving a child a promise and not fulfilling it.

“Its expected of me to marry him,” you reasoned out carefully, “Ive been thinking of this day since I was a child.”

She gaped out you in awe. “Really?That early? In your kingdoms is it a tradition to marry from each other’s kingdoms?”

You gave her a wihsful smile. “Actually- no, it isnt. We’re the first ones.”

Her brown bob fluttered against her cheeks, her eyes staring up at you in confusion.

“I-if you dont mind me asking,” she asked nervously, “why is that?”

You sighed, giving her a small smile.

“Its kind of a long story….”

------------

“Long ago our two kingdoms began to quarrel against one another. But that happened years back- we still continued to fight against each other, and quite frankly, we forgot about why. We just knew we hated each other and wanted to see the other fail. My father had always said to me that my mother wished for her children to be born in a peaceful kingdom, yet my father’s pride prevented that from coming true for her.

“Until the day I was born- my mother, sadly, died while giving birth to me. My father now had no queen, and really, no future ruler, since I am a girl and only men can become ruler in my kingdom. In his grief, he began to feel sympathetic, I suppose- he knew King Todoroki had a young boy who was barely turning 4, and my father got an idea. He travelled to his kingdom, and somehow was able to talk King Todoroki into an agreement.” 

“In order to end the suffering of our two kingdoms, Shoto and I would marry once I turn 18, in which would bind our kingdoms forever in peace, with Shoto as ruling over both.”

Ochaco breathed out a large sigh, giving you a conflicted expression.

“So-thats why you two are getting married? Its arranged?”

You looked at her in confusion-“Didnt-Shoto tell you that? I thought Bakugo at least knew-” 

“Bakugo?” Ochaco blinked a few times, clearly puzzled. “Bakugo just thought it was quite, well, wierd Shoto was getting married- Bakugo is just a lone wolf who cant understand love I guess-”

You strangely felt angry at her words- how could she even say that about him? Yes, he was cold and callous at times, but how could she know he couldn't at least love? You knew he had to at least have some way of having feelings for another person, you had to at least hope for that-

“-it must be why he left last night,”

You stopped in your tracks, feeling a ton of bricks pound into your chest. 

“He-he left?

“Um yeah! Something about being ‘bored waiting around for a stupid’- oh my gosh, y/n are you alright!?” 

You were coughing up quite alot, your lungs dry and painful as your heart tore in two. He-he left. Without you. Without even a goodbye. 

After all that daydreaming, all that hope, that dedication to him, hoping he would notice you- he left. He never loved you, and you knew it- you were just so desperate for someone to take you, to teach you how to be free. 

You wanted him to teach you, to see potential in you that you could be just as defiant to the world as him. 

Uraraka wrapped her slender arms around your body, patting your back softly to help you rid your body of whatever had attacked you. It was taking everything in you to not let a single petal fall out, the itching in the back your neck unbearable as your heart beat agonizingly against horribly. 

You felt a few silky petals slip out of your mouth, soft against your dry tongue. Miraculously, Uraraka didn't suspect a thing- most likely from the darkness she couldn't see the disease overtaking you.

You gulped desperately for air, finally getting a hold on your lungs. 

“I-Im fine,” you panted out, raising from the floor on shaky knees. “Thank you”

Urarka gave you a pointed look, clearly not convinced. “Of course, but are you sure? Do you need water, or maybe I should get Shoto-”

“No!” you yelled out, covering your mouth in case of another attack.

You felt a little guilty for yelling at Uraraka so harshly, her wide eyes looking at you in shock-you just couldnt bear seeing Shoto when you were grieving over a lover that was never yours- and apparently dying from it too. 

“No, Im fine, really,” you said more calmly, trying to be reassuring, “lets, just- walk back, if thats okay-”

“Yes of course! Ill walk you to your room, just in case you get sick again-”

You two walked in silence again, you mulling over your broken heart as Uraraka watched you in worry. You two passed the ballroom, everyone seemingly enjoying themselves and not noticing you two as you lead the way to your room. 

You stepped up to the door, your hand grasping the doorknob until you paused, a question entering your mind. You were still confused why Uraraka said she didnt know your marriage was arranged-you would have expected Shoto to have told his group after saying he was getting married. 

Was he embarrassed by it, that he was marrying you?

“You said you were surprised to here our marriage was arranged,” you asked quietly, “Shoto never told you?”

Uraraka shuffled in her pink boots, her shoulder hunched close to her chin.

“He-uh-no,” she breathed out, “he said he made a promise to marry a girl he loved.”

-------------------

Morning. 

Daylight.

Wedding.

You should be feeling happy, excited, optmistic-you had been imagining this day since you were a child. But now, all you could feel was a coldness you couldnt seem to shake off- after your talk with Uraraka last night, you felt so confused.

The person you “loved” had never loved you, leaving you sick and hurt.

The person who did love you, you most likely pushed away to the point where they didnt love you anymore.

You couldnt even understand your emotions yourself. All night your sickness wouldnt leave your poor lungs alone, making you cough uncontrollably all night, the petals piling up around you.

You wouldn't allow anyone to see you in the morning, snatching your wedding dress from your hand maidens and putting in yourself. You fixed yourself up, trying to make yourself look as lively as possible, but it seemed impossible- you felt too empty inside to really put your heart into it.

Another round of coughs attacked your chest, a single petal dribbling out of your mouth, along with a speckle of blood. It dripped on the inner folds of your creamy white dress- easily disguisable if you made sure it was covered- yet it made you begin to cry.

What was going on? Why did you have to do this? Why were you still sick?  

Your knees hit the cold floor, wave after wave of tears and coughs struck your body in a terrible symphony, the petals piling up on your dress. 

You couldnt take it anymore- this sickness was going to have to take you, because you had no energy left to fight it anymore.

You felt a knocking on your door, the sounds harsh against your temple. You sniffled, one last cough feebily spilling out of your bloodied lips.

“Go away-I promise Ill be out soon-” you began sadly, until you heard the door swing open.

You looked up, your face in shock as you did not lock eyes with your handmaiden, but with Shoto’s.

He looked around the floor, noticing the bloody petals, his face completely torn-he knew what was going on.

Shoto stared down at you, his eyes boaring into yours-he knew something was wrong with you. He had came by your room in hopes of fixing your relationship before speaking your vows, working up the courage until he heard you crying. No matter what was between you two, he wouldnt let you go through pain by yourself.

Now he watching you cough up your life, those sickly petals flowing out of you, each one taking a toll on your body.

He gasped out your name, the words like honey as he sat next to you on the floor. You looked so beautiful in that white gown, like an angel from heaven. 

But the paleness of your skin, the bags like bruises under your eyes, the blood on your lips- it all reminded him that you were human, and you were hurting inside. He reached for your hand, his fingers grazing your skin-so cold- but you pulled it away quickly.

“Please, dont Shoto-” you whispered hoarsely, “Im-”

Another wave of coughs wracked at your chest, this time the rasps painful against your chest as the vines squeezed. 

Shoto didnt know what to do- how could he help you? There wasn't anything he could do to help, except watch his best friend and love slowly cough her life away. A few petals cascaded out of your mouth, adding to the piles as you heaved air back into your lungs, your knuckles white.

“How, how could you keep this from me?” he asked sadly, ignoring your pleas and pulling you into his lap.

You felt how warm he was, and realized- he did love you. He had been there for you as a child, and he was here for you now, comforting you in your worst moment.

Your heart felt like it was exploding as tears cascading down your face, salty and warm against your skin.

“How-how could I Shoto?” I shuldnt have been so mean to you,” you sobbed, “Im so sorry, so sorry, this is all my fault-”

“Please, no, dont be sorry,” he said softly, his arms cradling your body, “we both have our own faults. I shouldnt have left you for so long, and Im sorry for that, I-” he gulped, his heart beating harshly against his chest.

“I-I do love you,y/n, I do.”

You picked up your head, forcing yourself to look at him- he was so handsome, his mix matched eyes softly looking down at you- he was still the little boy you knew from a child, though, always so calm and sweet.

“I know, Shoto, I just, I-” you gulped, fighting to keep the coughs and sobs at bay.

He sighed, feeling his heart sink. 

“You loved Bakugo, didnt you? Thats why,” he motioned to the petals, “this is happening to you.”

You gave him a shocked look, your eyes wide and glassy. You forgot how observant Shoto could be- you felt your cheeks grow red, realizing now he must have known by the way you stared so much at Bakugo.

“Was-it that noticebale?”

“Y/n,” he sighed, his chest feeling heavy, “very.”

You giggled at his remark, feeling strange for laughing for once. But Shoto was so abrupt with his words, it always made you laugh at his remarks.

 Shoto’s heart soared at your laugh, the sound like chimes against his ears. It died down, the room quickly feeling closed in again.

“I just dont want to do this. I-I want to be friends again. To figure out who were are, without us being forced to be with each other.” you sighed, your heart rattling against your chest. “ I-I want to be with you and marry you- when we decide. Not my father, or your father- I want to be free to choose.”  

You turned to Shoto, your hands touching his cheek.

“I-I did love you-and I still do-Im just so confused, and trapped, and-”

“You just want to be your own person,” he finished your sentence, his voice so much stronger than yours.

He looked down at you, his face surprisingly smiling.

“I think I may have arranged that,”

You jumped up, your face in shock. “H-how? Tell me!” you squealed, not unilke a child, your eyes wide with anticipation.

Shoto grinned at your face, loving how excited you could get so quickly.

“Do you remember my oldest brother?” he asked

“Of course I remember Natsuo! He was always so kind to me as a child,” you reminenscenced, “but how is he going to help us?”

“Well, as it turns out, I spoke to our fathers and my older brother,” he said, a small grin on his face, “they agreed that my brother could rule both kingdoms in my place. By himself, and my sister will accompany him if he ever needs help.”

You sucked in a lung full of air, unable to believe what you had just heard-

 “So that means-”

“We are free to  do what we want now.” 

You yelled in happiness, happy tears cascading on your face as you wrapped his body around yours, “thank yous” spilling out of your lips.

Shoto hugged you back, smiling sadly- he had to admit, it was hard negotiating that new deal. After the night, that remark of how you didnt feel “free” stayed in his brain, haunting him until he found a solution. Knowing it would make you happy made it worth it- even if that meant you could leave him now. He loved you, but if that meant you could be happy with or without him, he would be content with the knowledge that you were finally able to be your own person.

“You can now be yourself,” he said sadly, his eyes staring down at the floor, “and even if that means you do not love me, I accept it. You dont have to feel guilty.”

You looked at the poor boy, his eyes shaded as his bi-colored locks cascaded onto his foreheads. You felt a warmth fill your chest, the sensation soothing and calming as the tightness in your lungs dissappeared. The tickling in your throat seemed to wane slightly. Your hand found his as his eyes instantly rose to meet yours.

“I wont feel guilty,” you smiled gently, “I want to be free- with you.”

Taggings: (if you want to be added, just shoot me an ask or a reply on this post and Ill add you on to my future fics!)

@freckledoriya​ @orokayagi​ @leeeah-loooser​

#bnha #bnha x reader #bnhabookclub #bnha au #bnha fantasy au #todoroki x reader #shouto x reader #todorki x reader #mha todoroki x reader #todoroki shouto #todoroki shoto x reader #shoto x reader #shoto #mha shoto x reader #mha shoto todoroki #bnha prince shoto x reader #prince shoto x reader #prince shoto x you #prince shoto x y/n

[toosicktoocare]

prompt:  Oh my gosh i am so so so so happy that youre finally writing for the Batfam!!!! Ive been following you for awhile now and I'm glad that youve fell into the rabbit hole that is thos crazy family😂 For a prompt, how about Jason and Dick taking care of each other at home when theyre both in varying degrees of sick? Your last fic was amazing and I love your group writing. Have a great day

I’m glad you like my group writing because I STRUGGLE to write more than one person honestly, lol

Jason’s dragging his feet around the small convenience store, too tired to move, his muscles melting to hot, thick goo. He’s been fighting a cold for the better half of two days now, having picked one up from a sick kid taking residence in one of his shelters, and normally, he’d isolate himself in one of his safe houses for a few days to sleep off the cold, but with his shelters expanding outside of Gotham to Bludhaven, he’s too busy interviewing for team leaders and security to temporarily remove himself from the world.

Instead, he’s reduced to a sniffling, shivery mess of a man who’s wandering a convenience store in Bludhaven at 1 AM. His head is hot and feeling like it’s stuffed to the brim with cotton. His concentration is waning under the thick, pounding pressure in his head, slowing his thoughts down to basic, one-word sentences as he scans the shelf for medicine, hoping for a concoction that will kick this cold square in the ass.

“Jason?”

Jason was willingly taking his time, prolonging the inevitable bike ride back to Gotham; however, the sudden, incredibly unwanted, presence of one pesky bird tightens his muscles and clears his head enough to move faster.

“Dick,” Jason says, keeping his eyes glued to the shelf. “What a pleasant surprise,” he adds flatly, groaning when he spots Dick, with his badge on full display, walking toward him through his peripherals.

“What are you doing in Bludhaven?”

Jason sighs deep in his throat, the breathing coming off as a muted growl. He grabs a bottle of fever reducers and snags a few other bottles of varying medicines before he turns toward Dick. “Business.”

Dick cocks his head to the side, a small frown playing at his lips. “What business?”

“I’m sorry,” Jason bites out, “is this an interrogation, Officer Grayson?” His eyes find Dick’s badge, sharp, narrow, and incredibly annoyed.

Dick deflates before him, pocketing his badge with a few coughs. “No, sorry. Habit. Will you be here long?”

“I was just leaving,” Jason grumbles, though the second he turns on his heel, his body decides to remind him of the fucking fever he’s been running, and he stumbles, vision tunneling for a breath of a moment but just enough to have Dick wrapping quick hands around his arms to steady him.

“Woah, Jay, you okay?” Dick’s pulling Jason back to him, guiding him around until they are facing, and Jason can’t fight off the annoyingly strong grip, his body too weak under the weight of this persistent cold.

“Peachy,” he gripes out, jaw clenched tightly, and he holds Dick’s narrow, worried gaze with his own tight one, only moving to slap Dick’s hand away before Dick can press a palm to his forehead.

“Jason.”

“Dick Brain,” Jason sighs, shoulders slumping. “You can save the puppy dog look for one of the other bats. I’m fine.”

“You’re sick,” Dick presses, following Jason to the cash register.

“Yep,” Jason mutters, dropping the medicine bottles onto the counter. “It happens.” Dick muffles a few coughs behind him, and he peers over his shoulder, arching one brow.

“Bug going around the office,” Dick explains, clearing his throat. “Are you driving back to Gotham?” He follows Jason out of the store, and Jason sighs long and loud, free hand dropping to his bike seat.

“That’s the plan.”

“Why don’t you come back to mine? Just for the night. You look terrible.” Dick means every word, the instinctive pull of older brother is bleeding into his voice. Jason’s pale before him, but even with the dull, flickering street light serving as the only source of light before them, he can still see two splashes or unnatural red coloring Jason’s cheeks.

“And watch you stumble around trying to play nursemaid? Not exactly on my list of things to do.” Jason thumbs at his bike helmet, wishing he could will this conversation to end faster.

“Jay, I don’t think riding back to Gotham in your condition is a good idea.”

Rolling his eyes, Jason slips his helmet over his head and swings his leg over his bike, tucking the pill bottles into his jacket pockets. “Good thing bad ideas are kinda my forte.” He twists his key into the ignition, revving his bike loudly. “Later Golden Boy. Go get some rest. The sickly pale look doesn’t suit you.” He shoots forward, probably a little too fast, but the quicker he can forget about this small encounter, the better.

***

Jason makes it ten minutes outside of Bludhaven before he turns around, underestimating the ill affects his fever has on his vision. After almost flipping into a ditch three separate times when his vision frayed gray, he slows his bike into a U-Turn and starts toward the damn address etched in his brain, something he’s tried to forget but actively cannot.

It takes another fifteen minutes until he’s pulling up to Dick’s apartment and another ten to climb on jello legs up the two flights of stairs to Dick’s door. Forgetting it’s nearing 2 AM, he curls his hand into a fist and bangs against the door.

He hears coughing on the other end, growing louder, and then the door’s pulled open, and a gun’s pointed at his face.

Dick blinks slowly, eyes still riddled with sleep but hand frighteningly steady around the gun.

“Jason?”

“How come when I even look at a gun, I get lectured, but you have a guest stare down a barrel?”

Dick’s hand falls, clicking the safety of the gun on its way down. “Shit, sorry.” Frowning, he drags his gaze across Jason’s face. “You must really feel like crap if you’re actually taking my offer.”

Jason groans and shoves past Dick, legs wobbly but determined to get to the couch before he crumbles to the floor. “I figured your couch would be just a little better than a fucking ditch.” He sags against the couch, head rolling back and eyes fluttering closed, only opening when a palm brushes across his forehead.

“Shit, Jay, you’re really burning up.”

Jason feels the couch dip beside him, and he groans low in his throat, coughing weakly. “Just a cold.”

“You really believe that?” Dick sighs, nudging Jason with his elbow until Jason’s curling onto his side, fully reclined on the couch. He reaches for a blanket draped across the back of the couch and tucks it around Jason, worry spiking when Jason doesn’t try and stop him.

“No,” Jason says flatly, “but I do believe that you should shut the fuck up.”

“Well you’re still an ass, so I guess that means you aren’t dying.”

“Again,” Jason grumbles, succumbing, already, to the thick layer of fatigue coating him.

Wincing, Dick slips to his feet, arms wrapping around himself. “Sorry, I...”

“‘S fine,” Jason slurs, one eye slitting open. “Go sleep or some shit. You look like hell.” He nods off, face relaxing, and Dick lingers for a long minute, just watching, an older brother thing, he guesses. 

He only breaks his gaze when a dull cramp twists in his stomach, and he shuffles to his room, closing his door and flopping onto his bed.

***

Jason’s dreams are fitful, filled with hot, suffocating memories of the Joker, the Lazarus Pit, green hair turning toward green sparks of rage that dwell within him. He’s not sure what wakes him, but he’s thankful for it, his heart rapid fire in his chest, his clothes sticky and damp with sweat. He finds a now warm cloth on his forehead, and he pulls it off, frowning, mind thick and hazy.

He hears a loud gag and winces, pulling a slow gaze to the hallway and spotting the bathroom door closed. He’s even slower to his feet, his head feeling simultaneously too heavy and too light as he stumbles across the room and to the hall, stopping at the bathroom door. It’s gone quiet on the other side, too quiet. He knocks, swallowing back a spike of tension.

“Yo, Golden Boy. You still alive?”

He can hear ragged breathing, but then he hears a thump, and his heart threatens to climb up his throat. “Dick?” he tries, knocking again. Every inch of him feels wrong when he still doesn’t get an answer, and he takes a few steps back and slams his foot high into the door, wood cracking under the force as the door flies open.

Dick’s pulling himself up to his feet, bracing himself against the edge of the sink. He pulls a too pale face over his shoulder, frowning. “The door was unlocked.”

“You didn’t answer,” Jason growls, stepping into the room, grimacing at the toilet.

“Do you normally not try doorknobs first?”

“What kind of a brother would I be if I didn’t dramatically bust in to save you?”

Dick’s face falls to pure, vulnerable surprise, and Jason groans, rubbing at his temples as he shoves Dick to the edge of the tub to fill a glass of water for him.

“Fuck, I said the sacred word, and now you’re short circuiting.” His tone is flat as he offers the glass of water to Dick, who absently takes it, still slack jaw and wide eyed.

“You never say brother.”

“Easy slip up. Just means I’ve been hanging around you too long already.” He kicks Dick’s foot lightly. “Drink.”

Dick sips the water, the adrenaline subsiding until he’s only shivering slightly.

“Have you been throwing up? Before this?”

Dick shakes his head. “New development.” He eyes Jason’s damp face, cheeks still too red for his liking. “How’s the fever? I thought I was going to have to drag you to the hospital a couple of hours ago.”

Jason can still feel heat under his finger tips. He’s still exhausted, but his mind is a fraction clearer, so he takes that as a good sign he’s on the mend, if only slightly. “Still pretty high, but it’s going down.” 

“Good,” Dick breathes, relief smoothing across his worn features. “I was worried.”

“Ugh, stop before I throw up next.” Jason drags out each word, hunching over to smooth a palm across Dick’s forehead, finding it warm to the touch but not alarmingly so. “Finish the water then go back to bed.” He turns to leave, wincing at the damaged door.

“I’ll fix this,” he mutters, and Dick laughs lightly, falling into a few coughs.

“I’ll hold you to that.”

#batman #batfam #batbros #batfamily #sickfic #whump #whumpfic #jason todd #dick grayson #red hood #nightwing #dcu #my writing #my batfam writing #i'm rewatching yj and i'm on season 3 already #ready for s4 #ready for s4 to be about fucking Jason or so help me

[peculiaridealist]

Trouble In Paradise (Literally)

Chapter 4: Brainwashed

After a quick stop on their room for Kara to freshen up, not that she smelled or anything because the attendants probably had cleaned her up which was making her shudder at the thought but she just wanted to be sure that she had indeed sanitized herself that day, they set off to find Winn.

"You said you were asleep for two weeks..." Maggie uttered as they were walking around the facility. "How did they feed you?"

The blonde shrugged as she briefly side eyed the shorter woman. "Probably IV. Maybe when I was groggy enough to be unable to process everything. I don't know. Anything could be possible, really."

Maggie nodded thoughtfully. "And you don't feel any hunger at all? Right now, I mean."

"I do, actually." Kara answered. "But that's just because I'm always hungry."

This caused for Maggie to snort as she turned to look outside through the glass window and Kara was surprised when the shorter woman grabbed her by the arm, making her stop abruptly from walking.

"There's Winn!" Maggie exclaimed and Kara immediately followed Maggie's line of sight and there was indeed Winn, trimming some bushes in the garden.

"Let's go." Kara said and they rushed outside to the attendant's location.

When they had reached the garden, they spotted Winn still trimming bushes.

"Winn!" Kara called the attendant's attention and he immediately turned to look at them.

"Miss Zor-El!" Winn said in surprise. "You're back!"

"Yeah, I am and I- we..." Kara gestured to Maggie and herself. "...need your help. We are leaving tonight."

Winn was staring at them silently for a few seconds before he started to look around as if checking if they were alone and when he was done scanning their surroundings, he turned his attention towards them. "Follow me. I need you both to see where to and not to pass. I can shut some cameras down but I can't turn everything off. It'll raise suspicions."

Both women nodded in understanding and they started to set off towards the facility. They let Winn lead to some turns and stairs and they eventually had reached a room where they all went inside.

Kara's jaw dropped when she saw a whole lot of CCTV footage being recorded in almost every corners and rooms. She was just relieved that their sleeping quarters and bathrooms were excluded or else it would be a breach of privacy.

There, Winn started to do his magic. He turned some cameras off. Some were placed on delay and some on loop.

"With this, you should be good to go." Winn informed them.

"Do you wish to stay here?" Kara asked out of nowhere.

Winn looked at her and gave her a small smile. "I have to. They pay me high enough for me to be able to fund my techs."

"You know, there are a lot of jobs out there in National City that's far more better than this." Maggie uttered as she was just looking at the screens.

"I've tried applying for other jobs actually. It's just that this job was the one that accepted me almost immediately." Winn then shrugged. "I never knew nor had any idea what this facility was doing before."

"But you didn't do something about it when you knew what they were up to." Maggie pointed out as she casted a quick glance at Winn.

"I didn't..." Winn's voice was small as he agreed with Maggie. "It was because I was afraid of losing this job. I stayed silent and just did what was asked me to do."

"What changed?" Kara asked again.

"I... don't know." Winn admitted.

Kara just nodded silently then. Well, whatever it was that changed Winn was definitely something that she'd be thanking for.

"You know what they're doing to people and yet, you still choose to work here?" Maggie's brows were furrowed and disbelief was lacing her voice.

Kara elbowed Maggie earning a groan of protest as the short woman glared at her and she glared back.

"You don't have to answer that, Winn. I'm sure you have your own other reasons." Kara's voice then dropped in a hush tone which was intended only for Maggie to hear. "Just be glad that he's helping us so enough with those questions."

Maggie huffed and rolled her eyes but she nodded reluctantly as Winn gave the blonde what seemed to be a small but grateful smile.

"I believe our work here is done." Winn announced. "Are you good to go? Everything taken into account?"

Taking one last look at the monitors, both women nodded.

"Yeah." They answered simultaneously.

"Thank you, Winn." Kara uttered with full sincerity as she gave the young attendant a hug followed by a hum of agreement from the shorter woman. A way of expressing her thanks.

Both Kara and Maggie walked out of the room but before they had even closed the door, they heard Winn calling out. "Good luck!"

The two women went straight towards their shaded spot and sat on the bench quietly, both thinking about tonight's escape and all the possible things that could happen. Kara could only imagine what Maggie was thinking.

Eventually, Kara broke the silence. "Hey, Mags?"

"Yeah?"

"What would you do if- when we got out of here?"

Maggie pursed her lips as she was thinking what her answer should be before facing the blonde. "I'll be honest with you, Kara. I don't really know what I'm gonna do after being gone for so long but what I'm sure of is that I'm never going back to my parents' house and I'll help you find Lena. We will find Lena."

A small smile formed on Kara's lips as she heard the shorter woman's statement. She knew that Maggie was a hundred percent onboard in finding Lena and she can't thank the shorter woman enough that she doesn't need to be alone in that conquest.

"And, Kara?"

"Yes, Mags?"

"Whatever happens..." A smile formed on Maggie's lips. "I'm glad that I've met you."

Kara returned the gesture as she hugged the shorter woman. "Despite everything that has happened, I'm glad that I have met you, too."

"This place is turning us into a sap." Maggie chuckled as she returned Kara's embrace. "We definitely should get out of here."

This elicited a soft giggle from the blonde. "Is it, really? I was already a sap even before I got here that I haven't really noticed."

"Oh, yeah." The shorter woman nodded in agreement. "You were already a sap."

"The sappiest of them all." Kara proudly said.

Maggie snorted as she pulled away from the hug. "You're incorrigible."

"But you love me." Kara retorted which the older woman just rolled her eyes to.

Moments later, they were both engulfed with silence. Maggie was left on her own thoughts again and Kara on hers as well. It dawned to the blonde that this was really it. They were doing this and there's no turning back anymore. Not that she would ever want to turn back.

**

Nighttime came, dinner had been served and eaten (somehow), and Kara and Maggie both found themselves in the comfort room, throwing up whatever it was that they had consumed that night. When they were done, they casually walked back to their table, with Kara going first and Maggie following a minute after.

Just as they were about to be ushered back to their rooms, doubt, once again, settled on Kara.

"Mags?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you..." Kara paused briefly due to hesitation. "Do you think this will work?"

Maggie placed a hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze as she smiled reassuringly at the blonde. "It will, Kara. It has to."

"But what if-"

"It will work, Kara." Maggie repeated sternly, cutting the blonde off.

"Okay..." Kara acquiesced and repeated, "... okay."

Kara doesn't know why she was having doubts when she was so sure just awhile ago about everything.

Probably just nerves. That's all. Kara thought to herself. It has to be the only reason why she was acting like this.

In silence, they waited and waited, probably for an hour and a half, before they sprung up in action with Maggie on the lead and Kara following closely behind. They got out of their room without a hitch and went on their way towards the dark hall.

Kara groaned quietly in annoyance. "Ugh. Why does our room need to be on the third floor?"

Maggie, despite their situation, managed to chuckle silently but didn't say anything and just continued to cautiously lead the blonde to the proper direction when they heard footsteps and voices slowly coming their way. The shorter woman immediately dragged Kara to a large pillar to hide in a haste as the voices grew louder.

"I feel sorry for these residents." Said the first voice.

Maggie turned to Kara and mouthed attendants which the blonde just nodded to. Of course, it would be attendants. Who else could it be?

"I, on the other hand, thank them and their cash." The second voice piped up.

"Not surprised there. Your world revolves around money after all."

Kara tensed and clenched her fist tightly at what she had heard. Clearly some people are just downright disgusting. Maggie probably noticed how Kara's demeanor shifted for she placed a hand on Kara's shoulder. The blonde looked at the shorter woman and she saw the worried look Maggie was giving her.

Closing her eyes, she forced herself to relax and exhaled deeply. She then looked at Maggie and gave her a small smile and turned her attention back at the approaching attendants. The two were still talking as they passed the pillar where the two women were hiding.

"But, you know what?" The second attendant continued to talk. "It's too bad that Luthor had been shipped back."

Now this caught both Kara and Maggie's attention.

"Why?" Asked the first attendant.

"Because..." The second attendant drawled. "... she was one of this facility's biggest source of income. If she had just kept her pretty ass parked where it belonged, she would still probably here."

"Yeah." The first attendant agreed. "The same will happen to Zor-El tomorrow."

Before she could even stop herself, Kara audibly gasped and Maggie immediately clamped a hand on her mouth but they both know that it was too late for the heads of the attendants snapped towards their direction.

"Who's there?! We heard you so you better come out!" The first attendant demanded as they slowly approach their hiding spot.

"I guess we don't have a choice but to fight our way out of this." Maggie muttered and Kara's eyes widened. Fight? Hell, she can't even hurt a fly!

Before she could even react, Maggie left their hiding spot and faced the two attendants.

Goddammit, Maggie! She thought and she followed suit and when the eyes of the attendants shifted from Maggie to her, the look of surprise was evident on their faces but it quickly receded.

The two attendants didn't waste any more time as they lunged themselves towards the two women. Maggie, being the experienced one, was quick on her toes and was able to dodge the attendant that was coming after her in a sloppy attempt. Pivoting around, Maggie and the attendant faced each other at the same time but his reaction was a bit late for the last thing he might remember would be Maggie's fist connecting hard on his face as he went down.

Kara, on the other hand, wasn't doing that well but she managed to dodge every swipe of her assailant. She might not be used in fighting and all but Kara had the speed despite the lack of work out.

"Just let us go. Please. I don't want to anyone to get hurt." Kara pleaded.

"The only one who will get hurt will be you if you continued to resist." The attendant spat as he furiously swiped again and this time he managed to get ahold of Kara's hand.

"Let me go!" Kara tried to pull her hand but the attendant got a tight grip on Kara's wrist.

"You are going nowhere." Kara can practically hear the triumph in his voice.

Kara's heart was pumping wildly and fear was consuming her fast. No matter how hard she tried, there was no escaping the attendant's tight grip. Was this really it? All those planning and preparations they have made would all go to waste?

I'm not even ready to say goodbye to Lena.

She was in the brink of tears when she heard a very familiar voice which made both her and the attendant freeze into place.

"Hey, asshole."

Kara and the attendant whirled their heads at the same time on Maggie and before they knew it, the attendant was already clutching his throat as he choked.

"You forgot about me." Maggie calmly stated as she knocked the living daylights out of him.

Kara was staring dumbly at the unconscious attendant, her mouth slightly agape. She then jumped in surprise when someone placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Sorry." Maggie immediately apologized as she raised both of her hands. "I didn't mean to startle you. Are you okay?"

"I- I'm okay." Kara managed to answer. "B-but what... How did you-"

Maggie gave out a lighthearted chuckle and grinned at the blonde. "These are amateurs when it comes to fighting, Kara, and I'm not wearing a badge for nothing."

"Huh..." Kara huffed out. Of course, the shorter woman knew how to fight. She's a detective for goodness sake. "That does make sense."

The shorter woman rolled her eyes good naturedly and grabbed Kara's hand. "We should move before more of them shows up. I don't think we can get past all of them if they started to converge at us at the same time."

Kara just nodded in agreement and the duo made their way out of the facility. Cold air immediately hit their skin as soon as they got past the facility's protective walls and it made them slightly shiver. This time, however, they successfully got out without having any attendant spotting them.

Taking the familiar path that they were always using, Kara and Maggie quickly got at the cliff and they made their way down. Having been used on this routine, they quickly got at the base of the cliff and a bit more walking, they spotted the cave's entrance. They were almost at its entrance when they heard a beep not too far from them.

"Not again." Maggie muttered under her breath but Kara heard her.

Though she was terrified of the answer, Kara still asked. "What is it?"

"A walkie talkie. Someone's near." Maggie answered. "Let's just hope that whoever that is, they haven't spotted us yet."

They cautiously trudged towards the cave. Maggie still leading and Kara on the rear. Their eyes peeled on their surroundings and as Kara was about to turn back towards Maggie, she caught a silhouette just a few feet away from them and was coming fast towards them. Kara almost yelled for Maggie to run when she had familiarized who the person in question was and it made her smile.

"Winn!" Kara exclaimed which caused for Maggie to snap her head towards Kara's line of sight. She waved at the young attendant but, as Winn got close looking frantic, her smile slowly faded.

"No time for pleasantries. You need to move quick!" Winn rushed as he pushed the two inside the cave. "Someone was assigned to check your room and the whole facility was then alerted that you two were missing. You need to get out of here now before it's too late!"

Without asking more questions, the two women sprung into action and they pulled the rowboat out of its hiding place. With Winn's help, they had gotten the boat out to the shore faster than only the two of them could. Maggie then pushed the boat into the water and climbed aboard but, before the blonde followed suit, Kara gave Winn a worried look.

"Come with us." Kara took hold of Winn's hand. "You don't have to stay here."

Winn just gave Kara a sad smile. "Even if I wanted to, they could catch you easily now, with everyone on alert, without having someone to distract them."

"But... will you be alright?"

"I will be."

Kara engulfed the attendant in a tight hug which had caught him off guard and made them almost lose their balance. Well... almost.

Winn returned the hug and whispered. "Both of you be safe out there, okay?"

Kara nodded as tears were threatening to escape her eyes. "Thank you... Thank you so much."

"You're welcome. Now, go." Winn urged her and she reluctantly let the attendant go before joining Maggie on the boat.

There was beeping sound again and a static. Turns out the sound they heard awhile ago was the young attendant's radio.

"All clear there partner?" Kara heard from Winn's radio.

A beat... then there came another static.

"Yes, sir. All clear." Was what the young attendant responded.

As Maggie rowed towards the open sea, Kara looked back at Winn and she saw him giving a tiny wave. She returned the gesture and Winn turned on his heels as he trudged back towards the facility's direction.

"Let me help you with that, Mags." Kara offered which was declined by the shorter woman.

"Nah, it's fine. I can handle this."

"Are you sure?"

"Yup."

"Well... tell me if you're getting tired okay? I'll take over."

Maggie just nodded in response as they were slowly gaining distance from the facility. The island was getting smaller and Kara felt a sense of relief washing over her. They stayed on that island for too long that she thought that the only way to escape was to wait until they'll be shipped back to the mainland. Though relieved, she couldn't help but to worry about Winn. Would he really be okay? What if they found out that he helped them?

So many questions came up in her mind but those questions would only be answered if she ever see Winn again.

"You know... I'd forever be in his debt." Maggie voiced out, shattering the silence between them, as she continued to row slowly.

"Yeah..." Kara agreed. "Me, too."

Silence once again settled between them and they were both engulfed by thoughts of their own.

The sky was already a shade of blue, a sign that the sun was about to rise, when they had reached the shore of National City's mainland. Both were exhausted but they couldn't afford to waste time to rest. They walked and walked until they found a busy road where they can hail a cab.

"Do you have a place to go?" Kara asked as they wait.

Maggie paused for a moment, a frown forming on her face before she answered. "I'm... not sure."

"You know, you can stay with us for awhile." Kara offered.

"I don't think your aunt will be very happy."

"I meant on my real home. I'm never going back to that crazy woman."

"Wait... Real home?"

Kara nodded and a ghost of smile played on her lips. "The Danvers. They're my foster family. They took care of me after my parents died."

"Oh." Maggie breathed out, a bit surprised about this information. "Well, I wouldn't want to impose..."

"It'll be fine, Mags." Kara assured her. "Eliza will be happy to have you."

"Okay..."

**

"Kara!" A tall, red haired woman immediately exclaimed as she engulfed the blonde with a very tight- more like a bone crushing- hug that knocked the wind out of the blonde's lungs.

"A-Alex... Can't... breathe..." Kara wheezed and her older sister had let her go, looking quite sheepish.

"Sorry." Alex apologized then her demeanor changed in just a snap. "Oh, wait. Are you okay? Are you hurt? What happened? You've been gone for months. Why weren't you returning my calls? Your aunt won't tell us where you were and Mom's worried sick. Where did you go? What did you-"

"Alex, slow down! One question at a time." Kara chastised her older sister. "Maybe you can let us in first before you start barraging me with questions?"

"Right. Wait... us?"

"Yes, us. I brought a friend." Kara gestured to the shorter woman who had been silently watching the whole ordeal with amusement. "This is Maggie."

Alex's gaze shifted towards Maggie and her eyes widened in the slightest bit.

"H-hi!" The redhead stuttered as she introduced herself, extending a hand for a shake. "I'm- uhh... Alexandra. Alexandra Danvers. But you can call me Alex."

Maggie gave her a dimpled smile as she shook Alex's hand. "Maggie Sawyer. A pleasure to meet you, Alex."

"Holy shit. Your hands are soft." Alex uttered in surprise then she inhaled sharply, her face turning a deep shade of red. "Oh my God... I did not just say that out loud."

"Consider it unheard." Maggie said, her smile turning into a grin.

"Uhh... Alex?" Alex and Maggie turned their heads towards the blonde. As much as Kara hated to ruin this moment of theirs, she just had to. "I forgot there's a cab outside... and we sort of don't have any cash."

Alex's brow furrowed in confusion. "What?"

"I swear I'll explain later." Kara immediately threw in.

Alex rolled her eyes as she sighed. "Fine."

When everything was settled, the three of them huddled on the living room and Alex was looking at them expectantly. Kara's gaze flitted back and forth towards Maggie and her sister before taking a deep breath.

"Okay... If you really want to know what happened, brace your self because it's gonna be a very long story." Kara started.

Alex shrugged as she leaned and made herself comfortable on their couch. "I've got time."

"Can't we just wait for Eliza?" Kara queried. "I don't want to repeat everything over again. Where is she by the way?"

"I'll help explain everything to her later and she's out to buy some kitchen necessities." Alex answered. "Now, spill."

Kara groaned. "Fine. So, it all started with a dinner..."

**

[1 year later]

"Hey, Mags..."

Maggie looked up from her phone. "Yes, Kara?"

Kara bit the inside of her cheek, contemplating whether she should go and pursue her plan or not. She knew she should have done this as soon as they had returned but, the thought of being in the real world made her second guess everything. She always had her doubts even when they were on the island but seeing a certain green eyed woman on the television screen with a man who has been deemed as her lover only made her come to a conclusion that the brunette wasn't expecting her anymore.

"Kara?" She snapped out of her thoughts when she heard Maggie's worried tone.

"S-sorry. Spaced out for awhile."

Maggie nodded in understanding. "You were about to tell me something?"

Kara unconsciously patted the pocket of her sweater and she felt the bulge of the rock that Lena once gave her. Maggie saw the gesture and she knew what was in the pocket.

The shorter woman then sighed. "Is this about Lena again?"

Kara bit the inside of her cheek and nodded slowly.

"It's been a year, Kara."

"I know..."

"Then why? Why are you still thinking about-"

"Because I promised, okay?!" Kara snapped, cutting Maggie off. She then closed her eyes as she took a deep breath to regain her composure. "I promised her that I would find her and it... it really makes me feel guilty that I somehow broke that promise."

"That was when we were at the island." Maggie reasoned. "We both swore that we would find her, and Kara, believe me when I say that I do feel bad about it, too, but think about it. She already has a life of her own. I mean, she obviously had moved on. I think it's time for us to let go of the past and make a life of our own as well."

Kara was silent as her gaze was locked on the floor. She knew that. She knows that Maggie was right. She could have done that. She just won't.

"... And I may have ran into her a couple of days ago."

Kara's attention was immediately shifted from the floor towards Maggie and she gave the shorter woman a bewildered look. "What?"

"I was at a coffee shop nearby... and to my surprise, Lena stepped inside the shop." Maggie started to explain. "I saw that she was surprised to see me the moment her gaze landed on me as well. What made even more surprised was that she just passed by me like I was a complete stranger. When I tried to talk to her, she have said some- uhh... things and she also told me to stay away from her... especially you."

"Why didn't you tell me right away?"

"Because I didn't want you to get hurt, Kara."

Kara nodded somberly. She understood why Maggie did it. What she doesn't understand was what Lena told Maggie. It wasn't like they parted with grudges or anything. She didn't even do anything wrong... or at least she believes that she didn't.

"Maybe she was mad that I broke my promise?" Kara mused out loud.

"Or maybe something happened back at the facility the night she was shipped back her." Maggie stood up and paced back and forth that Kara could practically see the gears turning in Maggie's head. "You once mentioned that the Lena you saw at the TV back in the facility wasn't the same Lena that had said goodbye to us, right?"

Kara only got to nod when Maggie spoke again. "And Winn said that the facility was doing a bit of drugging... and a whole lot of brainwashing. Kara, this all makes sense now!"

Kara swore that she could see Maggie lighting up when the shorter woman reached a conclusion.

Then it hit her. "Mags... are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"Basically, yes." Maggie answered with a nod. "Lena's been brainwashed."

Well, no shit.

#kara danvers #lena luthor #maggie sawyer #winn schott jr #reign #kara #lena #maggie #winn #supercorp #light angst #light humor #light fluff #everything light #'cause idk wtf i'm doing anymore

[bittysvalentines]

You Can’t Hear My Soul

From: @eatallofthepumpkinthings

To: @corgiberus

Rating: T

Tags: Soulmate AU, Angst, mentions of anxiety, mentions of loneliness, mentions of defamation of character, mentions of paparazzi being rude, OC, ASL/RSL/Sign language, NHL Chowder, NHL Whiskey, Open Ended, mentions of Zimbits

Note: Sorry I can't write fluff! I hope you like it anyways.

Alexei wakes up groggy. The night before he'd tried to stay up until midnight, his heart racing with anticipation, yet he'd fallen asleep at some point. As soon as he is awake enough to realize why he's so groggy, his heart starts running again and his face splits with a grin. Immediately he feels for that space in his head where the connection to his soul mate should exist. When he finds it, nestled just behind his eyes, his heart sinks.

There is wind blowing past his ears and he knows he won't be able to hear his soulmate. He'd hoped that they'd fall into that small statistical chance and have the same birth date. He knew it was unrealistic, but he still had hoped to hear his soulmate. He often stayed up at night wondering if their voice would be airy and melodic or deep in soothing. Would they be Russian like him, or would they be foreign and the translation weird and distressing. Of course, it wouldn't matter if his soulmate was foreign, living half way across the world even – but it would be so much easier if they were Russian. If they were, then the likelihood of them being close by would be higher. They could be together sooner.

His daydreaming didn't matter now. The connection was open. He could tell his soulmate all about himself and maybe they'd come and find him before their 18th birthday. Even if they didn't come and find him – he had to stop himself . There were only 24 hours in the day and he'd already wasted several sleeping.

“HI! I'M ALEXEI!” He shouts into the connection. His cheeks heat. Why am I shouting? I'm going to sound desperate. he thinks.

He tries to reign himself in, but he knows its going to be difficult. “Uh sorry for shouting. I'm just really excited to talk to you. I've been dreaming about this day for a long time. I can't hear you now. But I'm sure in no time I will be able to hear you. We will talk non-stop on your birthday. I just know it.”

He stays up until midnight telling his soulmate everything about his life.

********************

Months pass and Alexei's hopes fade. He throws himself into his hockey career again. His father is right, if he's going to transition to the NHL he should do it now. He's been working with agents and talking to teams. By the end of the regular NHL season he's secured his spot with Falconers.

********************

Nervousness sits in the pit of his stomach everyday. Without any games to play, he refocuses his energy into learning English. It's profoundly frustrating. After a particularly disastrous lesson, he decides to take out his feelings the only way he knows how – on the ice. He's laces up and heads onto the iced over pond behind his family home.

Who knows when I'll get to do this again, he sulks.

He's skating laps, pushing himself as fast as he can. Suddenly he's tripping over himself. There are words flashing behind his eyes. As he falls forward, he becomes aware that the room where his connection lives is open and the wind rushing past his ears is just from the fall.

“Hello, can you hear me?”

“Are you awake? I hope I'm not waking you.”

“I'm really excited to talk with you Alexei.”

As he catches his breath and tries to push up off his knees, his mind is racing. After a few minutes he realizes he hasn't said anything back and he probably should do that.

“OH, HELLO... Hi. Uh... Happy birthday!” He replies awkwardly.

“Thank you! I'm so happy to finally talk to you.”

Alexei is excited but he is so very confused.

“Why can't I hear you?” he asks.

“WHAT?” his soulmate replies.

“It's like I'm seeing your words. I... I don't hear them. Is there something wrong?” Is he sick? He's heard that colds can sometimes mess up these conversations. Or maybe it's because of his concussion. He hopes that that isn't the case. Concussions have all sorts of long term affects, and in his line of work, its likely he'll have another if not more.

Suddenly he feels a door close. He frantically feels behind his eyes for that space where his soulmate just was but its gone. The void is overwhelming and he's back on his knees. What just happened?

********************

Alexei's 19th birthday couldn't come sooner. He's managed to stay up all night this time. Midnight finds him sitting up straight as a board, staring out the window of his senior teammate's guest bedroom. The city lights are stunning. He feels the connection open and he's speaking as fast as he can. Every question that's swirled in his head for the last few months spews out of him. He gets silence in reply and in just a few minutes the door is slammed closed, the connection lost. He cries himself to sleep.

********************

When he decides to put his mind to something, Alexei always manages to see it through. Going into the NHL, learning English, making friends with his teammates, becoming rookie of the month – he set his mind to those things and he did them. He makes his mind up to be as positive as he can about his soulmate. He may not know why they've hung up on him, why they've not talked to him, why they haven't tried to find him, but he knows he can't control what they do. He can only control himself.

With his mind set on positive, when his soulmate's birthday comes back around, he keeps it casual and light. He talks about his life. He talks about hockey. He talks about his teammates and friends. Every birthday flies by like this. His soulmate never speaks, but the connection stops closing right away.

********************

A few years go by. The Falconers win the cup. But his soulmate never talks to him.

********************

There is a movie playing on the plane. It was a tough game against the Capitals and every muscle in Tater's body is beat. He thinks that the movie is a romantic comedy, but he isn't really sure. The actors all seem to be mumbling or talking too fast. Lulling his head to the side, he asks Poots to translate again for the 5th time.

“Dude, Aren't you paying attention?”

“Yes, I'm just very tired.” He gives him his best puppy dog eyes.

Poots smiles. Tater sees a light go off in Poots head and suddenly Poots is climbing over him and stumbling towards the front of the bus.

“Hey who has the remote.”  Someone produces the remote up front. Tater watches Poots struggle with it. Eventually Snowy gets up, rather reluctantly, and helps Poots with whatever he was doing.

When Poots returns, Tater turns back to the movie and is amazed. There are words steaming at the bottom of the screen, highlighted in black, and in Russian.

“Now I don't have to translate.” Poots says victoriously. Tater nodes dumbly. This is what my soulmate's voice looked like.

********************

Its been awhile since he's thought this much about his soulmate when it wasn't his or their birthdays. Stewing on this new information is easy. Making any sense of it, that isn't easy. He tries to Google for some answers but he must not be using the right search words because none of the search results make much sense to him. Once again he finds himself wondering if there is something wrong with him.

After a couple of weeks, he decides to talk about it. He trusts his friends, and the old guys have worldly experience. Maybe one of his teammates will know something that can help.

He's hanging out with the guys, having a few beers when he musters up the courage to bring it up. They're all silent for a few minutes. It unnerves Tater. Am I the only one this has ever happened to?

“Maybe they speak a different language?” Poots says.

“If they speak a different language he should just hear them in Russian. That doesn't explain why he sees the words and not hears them” Snowy refutes.

“Oh right”

“Ive never really heard of anything like this before” Marty says. A couple guys nod in agreement.

“Maybe they're sick all the time?”

Thirdy brings up, “I read a story once that a guy started hearing his soulmate's voice in a whole different language than either of them knew and it turned out he had a tumor.”

“I just had a scan when I had that minor concussion” Tater replies exasperatedly.

“Maybe they're deaf?” Jack offers.

“What?” Everyone turns to Jack.

“I read a book on historical figures with disabilities and it explained that many deaf people and their soulmate's see each others thoughts.” That makes sense.

He goes home and googles some more.

********************

On his next birthday he tries to casually slip in “Are you deaf?”

It doesn't come off casual. Thankfully his soulmate responds.

“Yes”. Then the connection drops.

********************

His family and friends start to worry about him as the years go by. Its not uncommon for people in their early 20s to be single or dating around. But when you're close to 30, people notice. His parents set him up with a Russian National figure skater. She's nice enough but they don't last long with their mismatched schedules and distance between them. He hooks up regularly with a goon on the Bruins for almost two years before he gets traded to the Lightning and meets his soulmate.

On home game nights, when his teammates head home to their soulmates, he returns to his empty apartment. The silence is overwhelming. When he feels like the loneliness will crush him, he turns on ASL and RSL tutorials and clumsily signs along.

********************

It's the off season. Usually he tries not to schedule anything on his soulmate's birthday. But admittedly he's starting to give up hope. When Jack invites him to his summer home for a cookout and a friendly game of hockey with friends, he accepts. Its made easier by B's promises of pie and jam. He's pretty excited until he gets there and is slammed with regret.

Milling about and taking pictures are several PR people from the Sharks,  the Aces, the Baby Penguins, the Belleville Senators, and of course the Falconers.

“Sorry guys, I was just so excited.” He overhears Chowder saying. A few Samwell alumni and Falconers are huddled around Chowder and the keg.

“It's alright Chowder. This is good PR.” Whiskey assures him aloofly.

“Yeah and its not like they are staying the whole party – right?” Poots asks.

They all shrug.

Tater makes his rounds. He gives crushing hugs to his teammates, the wellies, and the players from other teams that he has grown to care about. He shuffles in and out of the house. He helps Bitty keep the tables full – and subsequently helps to empty them of their contents. He plays games on the living room's Nintendo Switch, pongs it up with the Pong Master, and gives piggyback rides to the various little ones. He's enjoying himself, but he can't shake the feeling that he's being watched.

He's pouring himself another beer when he glances up and catches the stare of a Shark's photographer from across the room. The guy is lean, with broad shoulders, and flaming red curls. He's also wearing a serious expression aimed right at Tater. His unnerving blue eyes bore into Tater and suddenly Tater feels very self conscious. He trains his eyes on his cup as he takes a drink. When he looks back up, the photographer's face is buried by his curls. The guy is looking down at his camera. Tater is suddenly filled with the fear that he'd just had his picture taken. For years tabloids have tried to make him out to be a heavy drinker. It wasn't true and he didn't need a photo of him chugging a beer to stoke those flames.

He makes his way across the room and stops a few feet from the photographer. “Hey” he says lamely. He was upset a moment ago but now up close, with the man's pale face turned towards him, he can make out the freckles on his nose. He always had a weak spot for freckles.

He was hoping the guy would at least say hello back. Instead it seemed like Tater had returned the favor and unnerved the guy. His eyes were wide and frantically searching around the room, looking everywhere but at Tater. Finally they seemed to settle on something behind Tater. Turning Tater sees Chowder and his soulmate chatting with another couple.

“Uh, hey Chowder” Chowder turned to Tater and Tater pointed his thumb at the photographer. Out of the corner of his eye, he could make out movement behind him, but by the time he had turned back to the photographer the movement had stopped and Chowder had materialized between them.

Then Chowder started introducing them and signing.

“Hey Tater, this is Cody. He's one of our team photographers. Cody this is Alexei Mashkov.”

“Nice to meet you” Cody signed. He offered a handshake.

Tater shook his hand, then he signed back “Its nice to meet you too”

“Oh you know sign language?” Chowder asks exuberantly.

“Yeah, a little” Tater replied sheepishly.

Cody's expression relaxs somewhat, but he still looks apprehensive.

“How do you know sign language?” he asks.

Surprisingly without hesitation Tater responds “I learned it for my soulmate.”

He regrets it almost immediately. He had almost managed to forget that it was his soulmate's birthday. It felt like he just dropped himself in an ice bath. Cody looked about how Tater felt.

Chowder doesn't pick up on the tension.

“Is your soulmate deaf?” He asks.

“Yeah”

“I didn't know that! Are they here with you? I don't think you've ever introduced us! I know Caitlin would love to meet them too!”

“Well I haven't met them myself so.”

“Oh”

Tater wishes the floor would open up and swallow him.

“I'm sorry” Cody signed. His face looks pained, like he felt what Alexei was feeling.

Chowder offers an escape. “We should probably get padded up for the game. I think I overheard a couple guys talking about starting it soon.”

Tater was about to agree, when Cody cuts in. “Wait, can I get a picture of you both before you're all sweaty.”

Tater chuckles at that. “Sure”

Cody maneuvers them to stand beside some of the Zimmerman's tall houseplants and underneath one of the living room's skylights. Tater is a bit disappointed when Cody takes a few steps away to take their picture. Up close he could see the sun bouncing off of Cody's curls. He even got to see his eyes light up when he joked that Chowder and himself should pose like a falcon and a shark respectively. He's still smiling when he aims the camera. Tater is smiling too.

Cody raises his hand and counts down from 5.  With the click of the camera shutter Tater sees words flash behind his eyes.

“Wow he really is a sweetheart isn't he.”

Tater's heart jumps and flutters wildly. He watches Cody's face transform from embarrassment to terror, flaming red cheeks turning to ghostly white. They both stand still, staring at each other.

Finally, Tater asks “It's you isn't it.”

“Yes”

#tateroc #bv2020 #bitty's valentines #omgcp fandom #omg check please!

[thecleverdame]

East Of Nowhere - Life, After

Sam x Reader

Series Masterlist

Summary:  You and Sam are strangers trapped in a desolate mountain town where you live alone, isolated from the outside world, for five years.

Warnings: language, violence, smut, talk of past trauma

Beta:  ilikaicalie  

-

Life After

“Come again?” Dean raises an eyebrow. Sam just looks across the table, chugging a bottle of water. He woke up fifteen minutes ago sprawled out in the hallway. He came to just as Dean smacked him hard across the face.

“I know how it sounds, but it’s the truth.” Sam wants to take a moment, just a beat and try to wrap his head around the fact that he’s home, but he doesn’t have the luxury. You’re not there.

“You’re sure it wasn’t a dream, or maybe a Djinn?” Dean places his hands on the table, leaning toward his brother.

“No,” Sam runs both hands through his hair, blinking while trying to shake off layers of fatigue and exhaustion. Whatever pulled him back into the real world zapped every ounce of energy in the process. “This wasn’t like anything we’ve ever seen before. Are you sure it’s only been five months?”

“I’ve been going crazy looking for you. I think I’d know if you were gone for five years.” Dean sets a hand on his hip, the other gesturing toward Sam. “I’m just glad you’re alright.”

“Yeah, I feel ok. Just tired and thirsty.” Sam twists his torso, his back in knots and his shoulders sore. He feels like he got hit by a semi-truck.

“You were there with some chick?” He raises an eyebrow.

Sam sets down the empty bottle on the table and put his lips together before responding. “We’ve got to talk about some things…”

Before Sam has a chance to finish, or for Dean to respond, Dean’s cell phone rings loud in his pocket and Sam’s face goes white.

-

You roll your eyes behind dry eyelids, unable to determine where you are or what’s happening. All the sounds around you blur into one dull droning of blips, buzzes and muffled voices. The first noise your ears hone in on is that of the heart monitor. You know the sound well and, for a moment, you have a flash of waking up in the Shadow Hill Community Hospital.  

Whole thoughts aren’t forming yet; instead it’s just base knowledge as you fight through the fog in your head.

Beep

Beep

Beep

The monitor speeds up as you struggle to open your eyes. There’s a muted chorus of voices as you sort through the commotion. You can’t put the logic of it together but you’re listening for Sam’s voice somewhere in the mix.

It’s the familiar sound of your mother that straightens out first, sharpening from mumbled sounds into crystal clear words.

“I think she’s waking up,” she sounds excited, her voice catching. “Go get the nurse.”

“Just push the button,” Your father joins in. You almost melt as his presence is confirmed.

“Can you hear me Y/N?” Your mom asks. Her question is mixed with the sensation of her hand on your arm. You know her touch. Swallowing, you muster strength, blinking both eyes open. The light burns and you groan, fluttering until you see your mom, sitting in a chair at the right side of your bed.

“Thank God,” your father exclaims taking your other hand. You turn to look at him, weakly squeezing his fingers.

“Hi,” you rasp, then cough as the words set your throat on fire.

“Don’t talk sweetheart,” your mother cries. “We’ll get you some ice chips. For fuck’s sake Clint, go get the doctor!” Even in your altered state, it’s shocking to hear her drop the F-bomb.

A lot happens all at the same time. All the events of the previous five years come back to you in a flood of memories that make your brain feel like it’s exploding inside your head. You shriek, doubling over in pain. The delivery of this remembrance is accompanied by clear thought. The onslaught of the relocation shakes you free from the trauma and the drugs. You shoot from groggy and confused to painfully alert in the snap of a finger.

Your father holds your mother while she cries as you’re surrounded by doctors and nurses. All it takes is a push of a needle into your IV and the sedation lulls you back into a dark sleep.

Twelve Hours Later

When you awake a second time, the transition is smoother than the first. Your mother hovers on the constant verge of tears as your father tries to make awkward small talk. A police detective arrives at the same time as your dinner. Nibbling on the corner of a slice of white bread, you answer a series of uncomfortable questions as your family looks on in quiet judgment.

“So you’re sure that no one held you against your will?” The officer cocks his head as his eyes drift to your parents. “Maybe we should talk alone.”

“It’s ok,” you assure him. “I was just feeling overwhelmed by - life you know? I wanted to get away and clear my head and I guess I kinda panicked. I should have called or told someone I was alright but I...I’m really sorry.”

You don’t even want to look at your parents, if they even buy your story. Which is doubtful. They’re going to be so disappointed that it might break your heart. But the truth isn’t an option. Not unless you want to be committed.

“I keep asking about this because, not only does everyone you know say this disappearing act was completely out of character, but you’re pregnant and the doctors say you’re severely malnourished. That sends up some red flags, you know? Like maybe you were in a situation where you didn’t have access to food.”

“It’s been a hard pregnancy, I’ve been sick a lot.” You run a hand over your stomach.

“You can tell the truth honey,” your mother leans forward from her perch on the windowsill. Her eyes are brimming with tears. She wants so badly for there to be a reason that you so abruptly abandoned the people who love you and you want nothing more than to give her a better answer, but there isn’t one. “You have a man’s name tattooed on your ankle, it’s practically a brand! Someone must have made you-”

“Mom,” you stop her, struggling to sit up straight. “I met a guy, I got drunk...he’s got one too. No one kidnapped me or made me do anything. I just needed to get away for awhile.”

--

“There’s someone here who’s very excited to see you.” You mother forces an upbeat, sing-song tone.

When Jack walks through the door, he’s a wearing a shirt similar to one of Sam’s favorites. For a split second you think that Jack is Sam, your heart swelling and sinking in the same moment. Part of you almost forgot about him. The sight of his familiar face feels like a dizzy memory from a dream.

“I can’t believe it,” he smiles sinking down on his haunches at the side of the bed. “I knew you were out there somewhere.”

“I, um, I’m sorry.” Apologizing has become your new default. Over the last twenty-four hours you’ve found yourself often without a response and ‘I’m sorry’ seems to be your only answer.  

“Oh, don’t be sorry,” His hand is sweeping gently down the side of your face. You close your eyes and shift away from his touch. It doesn’t seem to phase him. “You’re here now and that’s all that matters. We can all move on from here. Together.”

During the time in Shadow Hill with Sam, you thought of Jack and figured he would mourn your loss and quietly go on with his life. This is clearly not the case.

“You waited five years for me?” You whisper is disbelief.

“Five months honey,” your mother pats the back of your hand.

Right. You slipped again. You and Sam talked about this. About all the scenarios of being thrown back into your old life. Sam was one who insisted you go through every possible set of events, including the fact that time might pass differently in Shadow Hill. Five years there could be five days or five decades here.

“Right,” you offer a lopsided smile, things making more sense now. “I meant five months.”

“Of course I waited,” Jack takes your hand into his, you resist the urge to immediately pull away. “I can’t tell you how relieved we all are, and I couldn’t be happier. I’m so thankful you’re both alright.” He reaches out of places a hand over your round belly. You hold your breath.  

He thinks the baby is his, they all do. You look at your parents who yet again are fighting to hold back emotion. You’re almost seven months pregnant, according to this timeline you would have been two months along when you disappeared.

“Please,” you lift his hand away from your stomach, stumbling over your words. “Just don’t...don’t do that.”

“There’s nothing be afraid of,” Jack tries to sooth you. “I’m ready for this. We talked about having a family one day.”

“It’s not your baby.” You clarify, maybe a little too blunt but there’s no taking it back now.

“What are you talking about?” He tips his head, his smile waning.

“Yes,” You mother stands up, her eyes narrowing. “What are you talking about?”

“You know what?” You’ve had enough. You’ve danced the dance for a day now, but you’re tired and exhausted. You’ve pushed Sam out of your mind because you’ve been under a microscope since you woke up, but in this moment you’re done. “I need everyone to get out of my room.”

“Just calm down sweetheart.”

“I don’t want to calm down.” You pick up the remote and hit the ‘call nurse’ button frantically. “I want to be alone.”

As soon as the door to the room clicks shut, you pick up the phone beside the bed and dial the number you’ve memorized like the back of your hand. It’s truth time.

“Hello?” A gruff voice answers. He sounds cranky, thank God. Dean, it has to be him.

“Dean?” You ask.

“Yeah, who’s this?” He snaps back. You hear Sam in the background. Your heart speeds up to a gallop, an idiotic smile spreading across your face. “Give me the damn phone!” You hear him shout.

“Sam?” you confirm, tears spilling in relief.

“Y/N?” Sam’s voice is shaky. “Are you okay? Where are you?”

“Are you alright?” Biting your lip, you contain the urge to squeal. You’re both alive and you both remember. “I’m in the hospital.”

He ignores your question. “Why are you in the hospital? Is the baby-”

“We’re both alright. I just turned up unconscious on my parent's lawn in the middle of the night. The neighbor’s kid said he saw me fall from the sky. I don’t think anybody believes him, but I do. I’m banged up.”

“Dean found me in the hallway. I didn’t wake up until an hour ago. I’m gonna come get you, just stay where you are.” There’s rustling on the other end of the line.

“This is good right? We both remember?”

“It could be a lot worse.”

---

Sam makes the twelve hour drive in a little under ten. Dean protested, pointing out that he needed sleep and maybe a doctor but in the end he took the keys and didn’t look back.

He slips into your room just after the sun comes up. It’s still early enough that your constant stream of visitors hasn’t yet arrived. You’re sleeping soundly, mouth hanging open with a bag of saline dripping into your arm. Your face looks thin, more gaunt than he remembers. He’s grown used to seeing you nearly every moment of every day but being apart, even for forty-eight hours, gives him a new perspective. Your face should be rounder, filling out as your stomach grows. But between the lack of food and plethora of stressors during your last months in Shadow Hill, you went in the other direction. He didn’t realize exactly how much until now.

Your eyelids flutter open the moment he takes your hand, a lazy, happy smile budding at the sight of him. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He squeezes your fingers, before bringing your hand to his mouth.

“I missed you,” you confide. His heart still skips when you say things like that.

“Missed you too, baby.” He kisses your knuckles, wrapping both his big hands around your small fist. “Do you feel good enough to get out here? If you need to stay, that’s fine. But people aren’t gonna stop asking questions, at least for a while. It’s probably better if you get your bearings before you start giving answers.”

“I’m good. I’ve probably already said more than I should have, but I stuck to the stuff we talked about.” You explain.

Sam stands, then leans down to kiss you. Your lips are dry as the desert but he doesn’t care. He rubs his nose into your cheek, nuzzling with a gentle press of his mouth on yours.

“What the hell is going on here?” Your father’s voice snaps you both to attention and Sam stands up straight.

“Dad,” you try to intercede, propping yourself up into a sitting position.

“It’s ok,” Sam takes a step away from you.

“I don’t know who the hell you are and frankly I don’t care, you better get away from my daughter.” Clint has always been an imposing figure but he’s larger than life when it comes to his kids. Your father radiates a ferocious protectiveness.

Sam looks to you and moves away from the bed. “I wouldn’t hurt her.”

“You better pray you’re not the reason my little girl has been missing,” his voice hitches up an octave. You’ve only seen him cry once before.  “Or be the father of that baby because I swear to God I will kill anyone who puts their hands on my daughter-”

“Daddy it’s okay, I’m alright.” You reach out for him. “Sam, I think we need a few minutes.”

Sam doesn’t hesitate, just sets his jaw and nods before leaving the room. Your father is pissed as hell at you and he’s held it back until now.

“You’re a smart girl. How is it you expect me to believe that you would just fall off the face of the earth and turn up five months later, pregnant and with a ring on your finger. Are you married to that man? Someone we’ve never met? I know you Y/N, you wouldn’t do that. Not to your mother and I.”

“Maybe old me wouldn't have, but things happened Dad.” If you had half a shot at getting through to anyone, it was him.

“Then tell me what happened.” He takes your hand just as Sam had, only he clutches it so tight it hurts.

“I can’t. Not yet anyway. You wouldn’t believe me if I did, anyhow. I know this is hard, but you have to find a way to trust me. Maybe you can’t right now, and that’s alright. But I just need a little faith. You know that I’m not influenced by anyone. What happened was unexpected, but if I had to do it all over again, I would. Sam is a good man and we love each other. I fell in love, the kind of love that you and Mom have. I can’t explain it all to you now, but what happened to me wasn’t bad.”

He’s still, looking at his feet. “You’re going with him?”

“You were listening.” You sigh, tipping your head back. “I have to go, for a while at least. Someday, I hope to tell you everything.”

“And he’ll take care of you?” A tear drops from the corner of his eyes and he wipes it away with a cough.

“Oh Dad, he already has.”

“This feels kinda like you’re saying goodbye, kiddo,” he pats your knee, looking away.

With a quivering chin, you watch his eyes close, “Probably because I am.”

The Bunker

The Bunker is depressing.

As the heavy metal door slams shut behind you, there’s a creeping sense of dread that simmers in your gut. It’s silent, deathly silent, no faint chirping of birds in the distance or sunlight streaming through a open curtain. No, Sam and his brother live in a subterranean tomb that’s a far cry from the happy home you once shared together.

“Come on.” Sam takes your hand, winding down a metal staircase as you descend into the belly of the beast. He’s described this place to you in painstaking detail, enough that you thought you’d be prepared for the reality of being here but you were wrong. It’s dark, ominous and frightening.

There’s soft music playing, getting stronger as Sam leads you down a winding hallway. Strains of Simon and Garfunkel greet you as Sam pushes a door open to a small bedroom where you find a man perched on the bed. He’s cleaning a gun, it’s metal parts disassembled and neatly laid out over his bedspread.

This must be Dean.

He looks up, pausing before wiping oily hands on a rag. He doesn’t speak, just looks from Sam to you, then to your stomach as his lip twitches. “Hey.”

Sam’s hand is at the small of your back, pushing you to take a few steps into the room. This feels wrong. You’re out of place, especially in his brother’s private space. You don’t belong here and you’ve got a sneaking suspicion all three of you know it.

“Hey,” Sam’s voice is strained. “Dean, this is Y/N. Baby, this is Dean.”

Dean has a physical reaction when Sam calls you baby. He flinches as his eyes close momentarily, mouth pinching tight. You force yourself to move forward and extend a hand to him.

“It’s nice to meet you. I’ve been hearing about you for years, so it’s weird to finally, you know…” When Dean doesn’t move, your left standing awkwardly with your hand hanging limply in front of you. He looks from you to Sam again and shakes his head.

“Dean...” Sam fires a warning shot.

“Yeah, it’s pretty fucking weird.” Dean flashes a dry smile, and twists the rag in his hands. “I’m kinda in the middle of something here. Maybe we could do this later, Sam?”

“Alright.” Sam’s word choice is innocuous, but he might as well have responded with fuck you.

Sam ushers you down the hallway and swings open the door to the room you’re meant to share. Everything is cold brick and hard floors, including the metal frame of his tiny bed. He’s nervous, fidgeting as he shows you the few personal items he owns. His life is sort of...sad.

For the first time in a long time, neither of you know what to say. This is a Sam you’ve only heard about in stories. This is Sam the hunter, whose life is hard and rough and scary. A life that you don’t fit into.

-

They’re speaking in hushed tones, but it sounds exactly like the muted arguments your parents had at night when you were younger. Adults trying desperately to avoid innocent ears.

“I need you to do better than whatever that was.” Sam hisses.

“I’ll roll out the welcome wagon when we know for sure what she is, Sam. Until then, I’m playing this close to the chest.” Dean snorts and his fist hits something solid.

“What are you talking about? We’ve been over this-”

“No, you went over it and I told you I’m not buying it.”

“She’s not a monster, Dean, she’s just a woman.”

“Honestly,” Dean’s dry laugh gives way to naked hostility, “For her own sake, I hope you’re wrong. We can’t even keep other hunters alive and your plan is to bring a pregnant high school science teacher into the mix?”

“Dean-”

“No, I get it. You dropped off the grid and fell in love and now you’re having a frickin’ kid. Which, by the way, don’t even get me started on that. You couldn’t wrap it up? What were you thinking? And while we’re on the topic, do you even know for sure that baby is yours? What if she’s been playing you this whole time?”

“I can’t deal with this right now.” Sam’s voice interjects at full volume. “I get that you need some time to wrap your head around this, but I can’t wait around for that. I’ve got to figure out what I’m going to do.”

“Fine,” Dean agrees. “You let me know what you and your teacher come up with.”

-

Sam feels larger than life when he wraps around you in his narrow, rickety bed. You pretend to sleep, too tired to talk and maybe a little afraid of what might be said.

‘You awake?” He whispers, resting a hand on your hip. When he doesn’t get a response he sighs, pulling you back into him the way he has a thousand times before. That familiar smell and warm body lull you slowly to sleep in this strange new world.

Two Days Later

“You doin’ ok?” Dean sits across from you, with a beer and a whiskey, alternating between the two. You can tell just by the look on his face that he’s skeptical of the whole situation. Sam keeps telling you Dean gets it, that he’s on board, but it’s clear he’s just trying to placate you.

“I’m just exhausted, but other than that I’m good.” You sip the warm can of coke as the two of you try not to look at each other.

“Sam has a lot to say about you.” Dean forces the conversation.

“I bet it’s nothing compared to how much I’ve heard about you. I feel like I know you.”

“Five years is a long time to be alone together.” Dean nods soberly. “The whole thing is almost unbelievable.”

“Look, I get that you don’t really trust me.”

“I’m not trying to be a dick.” He holds his hands up. “I’m still on the fence. Sam’s gone for five months and when he comes back he’s got a ring on his finger and you’re...friggin’ pregnant. You’ll have to forgive me if I need a little time. Sam’s been through a lot. I’ve seen him get screwed over more times than I can count and until I’m a hundred percent about who, or what, you are, I gotta keep asking questions.”

“Okay.” You concede.

“Okay?” he raises an eyebrow. “That’s it?”

“It’s pretty much what Sam said would happen.” You shrug. “‘My brother won’t trust you, it’s gonna take him a while, just gotta be patient and get to know each other.’”

“I got a lot of questions for you.”

“Go ahead.”

One Week

“Hello.” The soft voice is not one you’re familiar with. You turn around to find a man standing in the doorway. He offers a warm smile and takes a step into the room.

“Hello,” you return. There’s something about him you can’t quite put your finger on, but his presence calms you, along with the thousands of thoughts rattling around in your skull since you woke up in the hospital. Your mind narrows down to this moment, able to focus on nothing other than the unassuming person in front of you. “I’m sorry, I don’t know who you are. Sam didn’t say anyone was coming by.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” he chuckles, dismissing you with a wave of his hand. He leans toward you as if he’s letting you in on a secret. “He doesn’t know I’m here.”

“What do you mean?” You should be worried, his confession should send up a red flag, but it doesn’t. Questioning your own actions you invite him in. “Do you want to sit?”

“No, I’m good. But you might want to.” There’s a glint in his eye, followed by a sigh and the exhale of someone who’s exhaustion rivals your own.

“Okay.” Despite having no intention of sitting, you find yourself seated on the bed.

“What are you doing here?” Sam interrupts your private conversation, Dean trailing behind him. They both looked pissed.

“Okay, I get it. You’re upset and you’ve got a right to be.” He responds shrugging casually.

“Does anybody wanna fill me in?” You inquire.

Sam glares, shaking his head in disgust. “This is Chuck.”

Chuck. You thought Sam was kidding or the tales he told were a metaphor...but Chuck’s really just a guy that looks vaguely like your middle school youth group leader.

“You’re God.” Despite your past misgivings, there’s no doubt in your mind that he is exactly who Sam told you about. You can feel it in your bones. “Oh my God, I mean...I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No worries.” His upbeat tone is not what you pictured from the supreme almighty.

“It’s nice of you to show up,” Dean’s disgusted. “I’ve been praying for months now and you’re nowhere to be found but suddenly you decide to grace us with your presence. Thanks.”

“You know I don’t like to interfere.”

“Why are you here?” Sam comes to stand beside you, putting himself between you and, well... God.

“I’m glad you asked,” Chuck clasps his hands together, seemingly excited. “I just had to see her in person. I mean, Sam. She really is a work of art. Beautiful, smart and loves you like the dickens.”

“What do you mean?” Sam reaches back, taking your hand.

“She’s incredibly complex. Near perfection.” He tips his head to the side, eyeing you up and down but you feel him inside you. He’s in your head and your heart, rooting around. “I really have to hand it to her. She’s right up there with Rembrandt and Chopin. Intricate, detailed, and just damaged enough to make it work. I don’t know that I could have done better myself. ”

“What. Are. You. Talking. About.” Sam grits, pulling you to your feet and tucking an arm around your waist.

“I thought you would have at least had some idea.” Chuck looks expectantly from Sam to you and back again. “My sister cooked her up. Her first real creation and she outdid herself.”

“Creation?” you whisper, feeling lightheaded.

“What the fuck are you-”

“You can’t tell me you didn’t have an inkling...” Chuck interrupts Sam. “I mean, she plucked her right out of that fantasy you used to have. You know, the dream, you remember the one you used, enjoyed...Oh no, you thought...you thought it was a premonition? ”

“Stop speaking in riddles and just tell us what’s the hell is going on.”

“Look, you know what my sister is like.”

“This was Amara?”

“She wanted to give you something.” He shrugs. “She gave Dean what he wanted most, your mother, and then she wanted to give you something too. She said she thought about Jessica, but you’re too different now. Too grown up for that to work organically, so she decided to create something, or should I say someone, just for you. ”

“You’ve gotta be shitting me.” Dean snorts, apparently the only able to articulate any emotion.

“I am not shitting.” Chuck presents a grim smile and shrugs. “Let’s look on the bright side. She really nailed it.”

“I don’t understand.” You’re wilting into Sam but he doesn’t seem to notice. He’s stoic, save for a flare of his nostrils. It’s a look you’re familiar with. He’s furious. “That doesn’t make sense. Before we woke up in that place I had a life, I had a family.”

“Well, technically you didn’t.” Chuck rolls his hand in the air letting you know he’s not finished. “It’s the beauty of what she managed to accomplish. It wasn’t just you she had to pull out of thin air, it was everything. Your family, your friends. Heck, those memories you have of your dad. I’m impressed.”

There are no words to describe how you’re feeling, but disbelief comes the closest. It’s not that you don’t trust what he’s telling you, just like everything else you know it’s true. But you can’t comprehend it.

“Why Shadow Hill? She just wanted to watch us swim around the fishbowl?” Sam spits, his arm leaving your waist as he takes a step toward God himself.

“Sam, you know as well as I do your life is pretty pathetic. She didn’t think having you meet at a singles’ bar would do the trick. She said she wanted you to have time to be with each other without all...this. She was gonna give you ten years and then zap you right back here.”

“Perfect,” Sam grunts, there’s venom in his voice.

“You said ten years,” you take a deep breath. “We were only there five and the world fell apart. There was literally fire raining down from the sky.”

“That spell the two of you cast cracked the ecosystem.”

“A crack that couldn’t be fixed so we ended up with front row seats for the end of the world?” Sam interjects. “There wasn’t even food at the end. Y/N was pregnant and terrified and I couldn’t even fucking feed her. Where was your sister? Did she get bored?”

“She used to check in on you from time to time to ensure everything was going to plan, but you caught her once. She said you saw her and she had to erase the memory. After that she was gun shy. She took a page out of my book and stayed away. Let things play out.”

He snaps his fingers and Sam can remember the night in the rain. He can see Amara slipping out the front door of the house and into the torrential rain.

“Where the fuck is she?” Sam presses. “Why isn’t she here telling us all this?”

“Because she had a very specific plan. You get ten years of domestic bliss and then you’re back here like nothing happened. You’d have been missing less than a year and life would move on.”

“Like I never existed?” you clarify.

“Exactly. If she turns up now I’m afraid she might reset things. You know I prefer to give you the choice, Sam. I’m all about free will. If you decide you want the slate wiped, I can take care of it.”

“No.” Sam squares off his shoulders and side steps between you and Chuck.

“I realize it’s a hard decision and I’m sorry.” He peaks around Sam to let you know the apology is meant for you. “You should take some time and talk it over.”

“We don’t need time.” Sam shoots back.

“It’s not just your choice Sam, there’s two other people involved. Talk about it, decide what’s best for her and your son. You can let me know.”

And with that, he’s gone.

---

“How do you feel? You know, about what he said.” Sam asks. He’s kept his distance since the revelation, but it’s been a few hours and you’re about as settled with the idea as you’re going to get.

“You mean the fact that I only exist to fill your wants and needs?” You scrunch your nose. “My inner feminist is pretty pissed.”

“You’re deflecting.” He sits on the edge of the bed, giving your thigh a squeeze.

“Because I don’t even know where to start.”

“You’re real, just as I am.” He face is strained, he’s trying but he’s off the mark.

“That’s not even the part that I’m worried about Sam! It’s the rest of it. It’s where we go from here. Are we going to have a baby and live in a bunker with your brother? If by some miracle we aren't murdered in our sleep by a monster or demon or whatever, we’re doomed to fail anyway. You’re the one who told me that the people in your life die. That you and I would never have worked in this world.”

“Things are different now.” He swallows, running a palm over the stubble of his jaw. “I’ll keep you safe.”

“You’ll die trying, Sam.” You want to shake him. “You’ll take a bullet to protect us or have a heart attack at forty from the stress of it all.”

“We can make it work,” Sam blinks, looking at the dead expression on your face. When what you’re insinuating hits him, his anger becomes palpable. “You’ve already given up.”

“I don’t want to. I love you so much and this baby, I...it’s all I want. But it’s not about what I want anymore. How can we bring a child into this? I know you Sam. You’re the guy who leaves because he thinks it’ll be better that way.”

“I won’t.” He’s hurt, and frankly, now pissed at you. “You think after everything we’ve been through, the only options we have are that I abandon you or Chuck snaps his finger and you never happened? What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I’m trying to be practical.” You sputter.

“Well fuck that.” He growls. Sam stands up and looks away from you. He’s so mad that he can’t make eye contact. He rubs a hand over his face, trying to restrain himself. “I’m not leaving and you’re not going anywhere, but I’m out. No more hunting. We’ll just stay here long enough to get something else set up, somewhere safe we can start over. New names, new lives.”

“You really think you can do that? What about your brother? You just got him back.”

“Dean will make it work. We always do. I made a commitment to you in that field, do you remember that? You’re acting like it doesn’t mean anything.”

“It means everything to me Sam. I just...I hate this all so much. I just wanna go back. While we were there, all I could think about was getting out of Shadow Hill. It felt like a prison. And now… now I just want to go back where it’s you and me and nothing else.” Your voice cracks and the tears follow, running thick and wet down your cheeks. You feel his weight on the bed when he sits, then his arms as you cry into this chest.

“Do you still love me? Now that you know everything,” He asks.

His questions takes you off guard. If anything, you should be the one asking. “Of course,” you mumble into his shirt.

“Good,” he clutches you tight. “Then we will find a way.”

Three Years Later - Just outside Lunenburg, Nova Scotia

If it were up to you, you’d never leave this place.

The ocean shore lies jagged, the rocky outcrops like a torn piece of paper where they meet the rushing waves. The shore is everything at once, every sense bombarded in a way that brings your mind to elevated thought. Eyes open to every shade of blue before you, every shade from white to browns and greys for your pleasure. Eyes closed there is the cool breeze, stealing warmth, giving you the taste and smell of the brine. The ocean's faraway music takes command of your ears with crashing waves and the cries of the gulls. To the right of this little cottage home the cliff face rises sharply, graphite in the autumn sun. Between rock and wave, you sit intoxicated on the breath of mother earth, of nature and all the wonders she holds.

The front door creaks open and Sam slips out, shutting it with a carefulness usually reserved for fine china. He smiles at you, a heavy blanket swung over his shoulder and two steaming mugs of tea precariously grasped in one hand. “I defeated the beast.”

“He went down?” You scooch over, making room on the porch swing.

“It only took two baths, three books and a half hour of me making up lyrics to that Aladdin song he loves, but I did it.”

“Two baths?” You laugh.

“Well, I thought we were home free and then there was puke everywhere.”

“Sorry,” you wince. He wraps the blanket around himself before sitting and opening it for you to join him. Lying back you rest against his chest with a warm cup between both hands. “Thanks for taking over. I don’t have it in me today.”

“It’s fine, I know you’re not yet feeling a hundred percent.” He kisses the back of your head, a strong arm snaking around your belly.

“I just hope by some miracle we haven’t given it to you.” You came down with it first. It’s been a nasty flu season and you’ve spent the better part of three days sweating on the cold tile of the bathroom floor. Just as you started to feel human again, Will crawled into your bed with rosy cheeks complaining about his stomach. Things devolved from there.

“It’s inevitable.” He shrugs, “It’s freezing out here, are you sure we shouldn’t go inside?”

“I like the fresh air. Besides, it’s warmer when you’re here.” You can see the ocean from the house, waves rolling white-caped in the distance. You lean your head back on his shoulder and soak in this still, perfect moment.

“This week is gonna be crazy, I’m having to work late every night since we’re getting ready for the holiday.” Sam’s a manager at the grocery store, it’s boring and monotonous but it pays enough to keep your son in cheerios and dinosaur pajamas. Sam’s been pretty vocal about hating the work, but it doesn’t matter. You won’t be here that much longer. “We’ll need the money before the move.”

“I love it here, I don’t want to leave.” You close your eyes and listen to the gulls squawking to one another in the distance. Sam shifts behind you and then it’s two arms enveloping you as his mouth breathes warm at your temple.

“I know, but we’ve already been here too long. We gotta keep movin’.” Sam’s past may very well catch up with you one day, but until then the two of you do everything you can to play it safe. It’s all about flying below the radar and staying on your toes, blending in before moving on. “You come up with any ideas yet?”

“I was thinking Washington state or maybe Oregon. Somewhere on the coast, I want to stay near the water.”

“Sounds perfect,” he kisses your temple but you feel him tense up. “I’ll start looking tomorrow.”

“What is it?” You turn your head. “I can practically feel you overthinking.”

“Is being with me worth all this?” He’s not really asking, he knows what your answer will be, but sometimes he needs to hear you say it. “You might never see your family again. We’ll never have a real home.”

You choose the most perfect memory of your father and cling to it. Doesn’t really matter if it’s only manufactured, because for you; it was all too real. You choose it because at that moment, he was the person he should and would have always been; had it not been for the stress of life and losing you. In that snapshot his unwarped personality was something so golden and sacred you want to keep it forever. Like an old movie reel, you can play it at will; it's 1987, on the back lawn of your childhood home. He's laughing, relaxed after mowing the lawn and asks you if you want an airplane ride and of course you do. What four-year-old doesn't? In the moment, he has your right wrist and ankle. He spins like a shot-putter, but he never lets go. The garden turns into a green blur; you’re flying. Flying until he can spin no more. The memory has no smells or weather, but the garden is in fine detail: the crab apple tree, the rhododendron bush, the weeds in the flower beds. But the finest detail is his face, creased with love and your joy, not only for the ride but for being with him.

Sam is that father to your son now, and you’ll give up whatever you have to give Will these small, precious moments that are sometimes over before they begin.

“My home is with you.” You cover emotion with jest, “are you trying to get rid of us?”

“No,” Sam chuckles as you pick up his hand, running your thumb over a bluish vein. “Never.”

“It’s always going to be you and me, Sam.” You confirm. “You and me ‘till the wheels fall off.”

The End.

-

Thank you to everyone who read, enjoyed, commented on and reblogged this story. 

-

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#East of nowhere #series #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester smut #sam winchester fanfic

[jj-lynn21]

Cozy Cove: Nursing the patient

@sunshineandskarsgards @loomiz @super-pink-palouza @nerdicesbro @anastasiaskarsgard @grandpa-sweaters @loomiz @bskarsgardlove92​

Previous in Cozy Cove: Saved by an Angel ,   A side of tits with your pancakes,   Fires Burn Hot , Spending the Nights, Learning and Loving,   The end id not always the end,  Axel Grease ,  Big Decisions, Sex and Jet Skis, Late night fun , Old Wounds , Storms pass Dangerous Waters, Nursing the patient , Making it Work

Warnings: flirtation, a dash of angst

When Axel woke, Susie’s head was laying on the edge of the bed. Her left hand over his right as she rested. He slid his hand from under hers. The pulse oximetry on his index finger almost came off but he put it in place with his other hand. An IV still hung from his left arm. Axel palmed the top of her head scrunching her messy hair.

Susie looked up to him in a daze, “How are you feeling?”

“I’ll be fine.” He looked at his bandaged-up leg. “I guess that shark fucked up my calf pretty bad.”

“Yeah,” Susie sat up to yawn and stretch, “You scared the shit out of me. You were bleeding so much.” Her eyes started to tear up.  

“I’m fine Babygirl.” Axel was in a little bit of pain, but he didn’t want to tell Susie that. She looked like she had barely slept. “You should go get some rest.”

“Flood waters are down but not enough to go back to the beach house.” Susie took his hand and put it on her heart. The loose-fitting dress hanging low on her chest. “Besides, I don’t want to leave you. Other than maybe some coffee so your brothers can visit. They only let two of us in at a time.”

Axel chuckled, “yeah, I could use some coffee myself. First come up here with me.” He patted the bed and reached to raise it, so he sat up more.  

Susie smirked, “I don’t think these beds were made for two.”

“Come on, it will be fine.” Axel patted the bed again. “You need to rest better.”

Susie sat alongside Axel leaning on his shoulder. His arm around her comfortably. She dozed for what seemed like seconds when the clunk of footsteps on the linoleum floor made her and Axel look up startled.  

The nurse smiled as she wrote her name on the white board in red, “I’m Cathy. I will be taking care of you this shift Mr. Cluney. How is your pain?”

“It isn’t that bad.” Axel said as the nurse walked closer to assess him.

“Miss there is coffee in the family waiting area.” The nurse offered. “You can use the shower in the break room if you want also. I need to finish assessing Mr. Cluney, change his bandages and give him a sponge bath.” A grin tugged at her lip.

Susie doesn’t notice the look on the nurse’s face as she gets up and kisses Axel on the forehead. “I’ll be back shortly. Your brothers probably want to visit. While I freshen up.”

Axel grabs Susie’s hand as the nurse pumps up the blood pressure cuff. “You going to give me my sponge bath instead of the nurse babe?” He grins.

“Sure, as long as that is allowed.” They both look to the nurse.

“Cathy, my girl is going to help me clean up when she gets back.” Axel stated instead of asked. “Just get us a washcloth, soap and a bin for water and I’m sure we can manage.”  

“That will be fine Mr. Cluney,” Nurse Cathy said deflated. She had known Axel in school but never really talked to him since he was three grades ahead of her. She had a crush, but she was doing her best to be professional and respectful to him and his girlfriend.

Susie giggled, “Okay Axel I will be back shortly to clean you up. Be a good patient for Nurse Cathy.”

He nodded with a thermometer in his mouth. The nurse took it out when it beeped, “Your perfect.” She smiled “You sure you don’t need anything for pain?”

“I didn’t want to worry, Susie.” Axel looked to make sure Susie was long gone. “The dull ache in my calf is getting a bit intense.”

“On a scale from one to ten, ten being the worse pain, how bad is it?” Nurse Cathy picked up his chart at the end of the bed to make note of his discomfort.

“I would say a hard seven.” Axel winced a little as he pulled himself up more in the bed. “Almost the frowny face on the little pain board on the wall, I guess.”

She nodded, “Let’s not get you to that frowny face level.” She made some notes on the chart. Then she put it back and pulled a syringe with medication from her pocket. “I can put this right in the I.V.” She wiped the port down with alcohol, made sure there were no bubbles in the syringe by squirting a few drops before attaching it to the port. She slowly pressed the plunger as she watched the IV area. “No burning or pain as I do this?”

“Not at all, thanks.” Axel laid his head back on the pillow watching her. He thought she looked a little familiar especially the beauty mark on her left cheek. “Have you brought your car in my garage or something? I feel I might have seen your face before or are you a part time model?”

Her cheeks burned that he would even suggest she could be a model when he never seemed to notice her in school. “I’m just a nurse Mr. Cluney. I haven’t been to your garage but long ago in another world called high school we had a class together. I think you were a senior when I was a freshman, so you never noticed me.” She finished putting the medication in and tossed the emptied syringe in the hazardous waste bin.  

“Oh, I bet I did notice to remember your face, Cathy.” Axel chuckled. “I was just too busy with my asshole friends and that crazy bitch I was dating at the time. She would have killed you if she thought I took a second glance and you glanced back. I didn’t talk to you for your own safety.”  

“That was nice of you,” She smirked. “Just press the call button if you need me. Unless your current girlfriend might hurt me for looking at you?”

“No, she knows I love her.” He Ccoses his eyes feeling a little tired. “She has nothing to be jealous of and she knows it.” He mumbled before drifting off.

Cathy didn’t really know if that was a dig on her. It was like Axel told her she was cute in school, but he couldn’t tell her and now she couldn’t have him because she was nothing for another girl to be jealous of. It hurt a bit.  

As soon as Susie stepped into the waiting area a very groggy Eric sat up. He had been laying across a couch that was much to small all night. His head was on a throw pillow placed on the table beside the couch arm. His feet still dangled off. Josh was curled up in an oversized chair. His head resting on his knees. He looked up at Susie with bloodshot eyes.

“How’s Axel,” they both mumbled in unison.  

“He told me he wasn’t in much pain, but his eyes betrayed him.” Susie yawned. “Coffee?”

Eric pointed to the stand at the end of the room with a full coffee pot, hot water, powdered creamer and some tea bags. She poured herself coffee in the small Styrofoam cup and topped it off with cream. She made a face after a small sip.  It was very bitter.

“The nurse said I could shower in the employee break room,” Susie added some sugar to the coffee to try to make it more tolerable.  “Why don’t you two go visit with your brother awhile.”

Josh unfurls himself standing with a big stretch and yawn. “Yeah, that’s a good plan. Then I am going to head back to Jen’s parents’ house to shower and rest. I’m sure they would be cool with you both hanging out there since the flood waters haven’t receded yet. Both the girls are probably still sleeping in Jen’s twin bed.” He grins at the thought.

Eric shakes his head at his brother’s obvious thought. Normally he would say something but out of respect for the other women in the room he keeps his tongue tied. “Yeah, I’ll go with you Josh after spending some time with our brother.”

“I’m going to stay here with Axel but thanks for the offer, Josh.” Susie yawned again.  

Eric got up stretching showing off his navel and trail of hair down to the edge of his tight jeans that hung low on his hips. “I’ll bring you some food later and better coffee.”

“I would appreciate that, thanks.” She walked off toward the break room.

Eric and Josh ambled into Axel’s room. Axel was grubbing on some rubbery eggs and dry toast.  

“Hey, guys.” Axel looked at them eyes glossy as the world around him seemed to be moving slower from the pain medication.

“How you doing shark bate?” Josh chuckled as he plopped into a visitor's chair.

Axel smirked, “I’m fine. It wasn’t that bad. You should try it.”

“Yeah, I’ll just go for a swim down main street to introduce myself to your baby shark friend.”

Eric starts humming the baby shark song.  

“Now look what you did,” Axel rolls his eyes.

All three of them are laughing as Nurse Cathy walks in with the wash bin full of supplies. “How’s it going in here?”

“Is it sponge bath time already,” Josh looks at the white board for her name. “Cathy? How can I sign up for one of those?”

“You could go for that swim you were talking about.” Axel chuckled.  

“I don’t advise that,” Cathy said blushing. “There are far less painful ways to get a sponge bath.’  

“Oh, yeah,” Josh grinned.

“Now his girlfriend, Jen, might take you out for flirting.” Axel advised.

“She’s not that bad.” Josh defended her. “You’re just jealous she doesn’t want you anymore.”

“Yeah, that’s it for sure,” Axel rolled his eyes.

“Just buzz me if you need anything Mr. Cluney,” She turned to walk out.

“Will do Cathy, thanks,” Axel stared at his brothers blankly a moment before continuing.“You guys don’t need to stay here another night. I’m good. I just need to heal. If it wasn’t for the flood, they would probably let me leave tomorrow after the Doctor checks in on me.”

“We are going to hold up at Jen’s parents’ house until the flood waters go down,” Eric thought for a minute. “What her last name? It feels rude to just go into their home and be all ‘hey Jen’s parents, thanks for letting me stay.”

Josh Chuckled, “Carl and Michell Lynns. Michell will feed us to.”

“Is it okay if I try to convince Susie to go get some rest later tonight?” Axel asked.

“I don’t see why not.” Josh grabbed Axel’s lime Jell-O. “But I get this as payment.”

“It's yours, bro,” Axel was saying as Susie knocked for at least one of them to walk out so she could go in.”

“Take it easy,” both brothers said as they headed out.

“I’ll be back a little later,” Eric said as he passed Susie.  

Susie nodded at Eric. She now had some clean scrubs on the hospital let her have. She sauntered over to Axel’s bedside. He pushed his bedside table away that had his breakfast on it.  

“I’m ready for my bath now nurse Susie,” He grinned.

“Of course, Mr. Cluney.” Susie held in a giggle.  

The Orderly came to get the tray, “Just fill out your menu for tomorrow when you get a minute Mr. Cluney. We will pick it up with your lunch or dinner tray.”

“Thanks,” Axel said politely.  

When the Orderly left Susie closed the door and pulled the privacy curtain around the bed. She half-filled the pink plastic basin with warm water. Then she put it on the table. The washcloth and soap setting beside it.  

“Shall I help you take your gown off, Mr. Cluney?” She wet the cloth and added some soap. Susie began to wash his face lightly.

“I think I will need all the help you can give me,” Axel looked up closing his eyes as she washed his face.  

“Yes, Mr. Cluney,” She rinse the cloth and Axel’s face before untying his gown. Her eyes were wide as if surprised to see he was naked under the gown. “Oh, my you do have a lot you need help with.”

Alex smirked, “You know it.”

#axel and susue q #axel cluney #sponge bath #cozy cove

[andymull]

WWE Wrestlemania 36 - Preview & Predictions

Heeeeeyyyyy heeeeeeeyyyyyy its Wrestlemania....fighting to survive....

............. Coronavirus, social distancing, injuries, sickness, poor booking, late booking changes, trying to get people to pay $60 on PPV instead of free on the Network, etc etc etc

Brock Lesnar (c) vs Drew McIntyre: WWE Championship Match

I really really feel for Drew here, probably the most out of anyone on the show with the lack of an audience as well as the lack of crowds being able to watch in Scotland in bars at the Hooked On Wrestling events, as they would have been SUPERB for both atmosphere and something they would show constantly on tv after the win.

But no, sadly instead of holding this off till later in the year we still have to proceed and deal with it, gutted.

I feel this match could go 25 minutes long and be one of Brock’s longest matches for awhile, in them asking Brock to make Drew look THE STAR in beating him and beating him well. Plus, they cant have both this AND the Goldberg match go less than 5 minutes.....can they?

Wish they would have gone OTT with this and had it filmed at Lesnar’s ranch and be falls count anywhere, Drew turns up saying nothing will stop him from winning the title so he’s there to claim his prize on Brock’s turf. Then gone made fighting around the farm, oh well there’s other matches on this show that will seemingly be booked to shit.

Drew wins, they need to make sure he then moves into feuds with big names and wins clean each time to really invest it all into Drew and see what happens - MCINTYRE

Goldberg (c) vs Braun Strowman: WWE Universal Championship Match

What is there to be said here, Roman had to drop out because they stupidly had him around sick people with his health past, they decide to replace him with Braun who last month lost his title to Sami Zayn, not to mention they didnt even announce it till Smackdown last night without even mentioning Reigns by name after having HHH announce earlier in the week it would be done in an interesting way.............

This should go short with ideally Braun going over, have Bill take the lead hitting all his offense, big spear then as he goes to lift him for the Jackhammer he cant lift him and Strowman bursts out of it hits his finish and pins him clean while in monster mode.

Braun starts the big push from nowhere while at the same time this leaves it open for Goldberg to potentially come back for a rematch, as he didnt have anytime to prepare for Strowman and his game-plan for the bout. Not that I want Bill always around the title scene when he turns up but if they can get Braun going over him clean twice it really helps out a current full time guy under contract WHAT A CLEVER IDEA THAT WOULD BE!!! lol - STROWMAN

The Undertaker vs AJ Styles

I really have no desire to see Taker in a big singles match at Wrestlemania or any other big show ever again, let alone it being in a match with AJ who could have an awesome match with most others on the card. This match should really have turned into the OC vs Taker/Aleister Black if they HAD to go with these guys together, the rub that would have given Black would have been MASSIVE!! Imagine the innovative entrance they could have come up with for both guys together, truly letting Taker pass his aura across to someone new....just goosebumps thinking of how they would look....but nope.

Instead we end up with a feud built around shoot promos about Takers wife doing AJ’s Styles Clash finisher.....

The worst part is that I see Taker going over, not sure if it was confirmed but it was mentioned he’d have 2 others with him who most likely will turn the tide of the match, dont get your hopes up for Black here instead, im guessing its Kane and Big Show....seriously....please be wrong - UNDERTAKER

John Cena vs The Fiend Bray Wyatt

I really wish if they are going to bring back guys who haven't been on the road full time then PLEASE bring them back with a solid storyline that makes sense and that’s been built up for awhile to make sense.....not this. Truthfully they need to build these matches with the sole purpose of having the other guys who could/should have been the spot to be able to turn around and say, ‘you know what, this makes alot of sense and will be great so I cant hold it against them and moan’. Honestly that’s all it needs.

And secondly they really are lucky there wont be a live audience there for the match, the cheers the Fiend would have received over Cena would have drove them wild in editing after trying to build Bray as the crazy heel.

After dropping the title Bray NEEDS the big win here to keep his aura something they can use well, the more they have him lose the quicker that appeal will drop, and for me with Wyatt that doesn't mean he can take loses as long as he isnt pinned like others can ANY loss hurts someone who can teleport (?!?!) - WYATT

Edge vs Randy Orton: Last Man Standing

Edge is the guy in second place behind Drew for me feeling gutted there wont be an audience around for this, imagine coming back after years away and the thought you could never wrestle again through fear of dying then finding you CAN wrestle again.........only to be risking it all in an empty building.....FUCKS SAKE!

This should be great and given the time to have the emotional side of it pour out strong, we should be getting Edge taking a beating to the point that Beth will come out to support him then have her feelings develop to the point she will want him to stay down and stop the pain. Yeah this will be great - EDGE

Becky Lynch (c) vs Shayna Baszler: Raw Women’s Championship Match

I dont think the result should be in question here, Shayna HAS to win and go on a dominant run with the belt, ideally booking Becky to come back in contention for SummerSlam to rematch.......sadly everything's in the air with the world.

For me, and remember those words, Becky’s reign has been abit of a meh fest in-ring, apart from the Sasha bouts, and the extra focus on her has highlighted her ring work which really isnt the strongest part of her game (Not saying she’s terrible at all, but could she please drop the awkward leg drop from the ropes lol). At the same time alot of that is down to how she’s booked as management seem to go on a few months run of wanting the women to be the main focus, then quickly changing their mind and dropping it back massively. Also, the lack of depth with the women’s division's is a problem with them being split over the shows, same with the men to a degree and is the reason we see feuds get dragged and dragged for months, with less women it means we hardly get anything that feels fresh which needs to be key - BASZLER

Lacey Evans vs Sasha Banks vs Bayley (c) vs Tamina vs Naomi - Smackdown Women’s Championship Fatal 5 Way Match

What a mess this is, I have no desire to see Banks/Bayley again for at least another 5 years...........but id much prefer that to having Tamina suddenly dragged on tv and put into the title picture. I get that the roster like her and she’s probably a really nice person to be around and supports the other women massively when needed, but for a viewer she brings NOTHING and hasn't for YEARS, all she’s doing is taking up a roster spot that someone way more deserving could be in from NXT for example. And yes, ive seen the random accounts on Twitter hoping she wins the title............jeez

Wouldn't have a problem with any of the other women taking the win here, sucks that Dana had to pull out as she has really shown improvements the past few months and deserved her place here easily - BANKS 

Rhea Ripley (c) vs Charlotte: NXT Women’s Championship Match

So we definitely are back to saying ‘women’s’ champion again are we? They dropped it the other month but seem to have quickly gone back to it.

Big match for NXT here getting a Mania slot, I really hope that Charlotte doesn't get the win and belt but her winning opens up more fresh options for the future on the women’s division on the show. As long as Charlotte doesn't keep doing her thing of wearing massive heels in-ring to show how much bigger she is to everyone else, for some random reason it annoys me and doesn't need to even be done.

I feel if Charlotte does win the title they will very quickly move another NXT star over to Raw/Smackdown to replace her or hype a new debut upto the draft which MAY be soon - CHARLOTTE

Kevin Owens vs Seth Rollins

The problem with having so many matches at Wrestlemania is that one like this goes so far under the radar its criminal, both guys are great and can pull out something special for the big show....not sure they get the time they will want even with a two night show. This feud will most likely continue so dont worry about who goes over - ROLLINS

Sami Zayn (c) vs Daniel Bryan: Intercontinental Championship Match

Exactly the same as the match before and even more so, a quality match that probably wont get the most time but will be a really fun ride to be on - ZAYN

Jimmy Uso vs John Morrison vs Kofi Kingston: Smackdown Tag Team Title Ladder Match

Yeah dont ask, they had to remove the Miz as he had Coronavirus symptoms but still wanted to do the ladder stipulation...

Honestly the tag division has to be up there for the most stale division in the company, similar to what I said about the women having the Uso’s and The New Day in a match in any combination is just soooooo over done.

Last month I predicted Morrison and Miz to retain and drop the titles tonight but now I hope they keep them, then drop them to Heavy Machinery as soon as they can - MORRISON

The Street Profits (c) vs Austin Theory & Angel Garza: Raw Tag Team Championship Match

Love the SP’s but this really isnt needed in the slightest, I guess the next few matches will be exactly the same. - STREET PROFITS 

Elias vs The Baron King

Exactly - Elias

Aleister Black vs Bobby Lashley

Please have Black go over quick - BLACK

Otis vs Dolph Ziggler

At last a match that deserves its spot on the card, a long term story that’s been developed well and is building to more with the stakes changed down the road. Easily an Otis win with Mandy ending up in his arms for the big smooch - OTIS

The Kabuki Warriors (c) vs Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross: WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship Match

Lets throw the titles we’ve forgotten about on the show too!! Feel for all the women that have been around the title scene here since the belts came into existence, so much promise over multiple brands that went NOWHERE! - CROSS/BLISS

Kick Off Matches

Drew Gulak vs Cesaro

I think Gulak sneaks the win out with his TECHNIQUE!!! - GULAK

Natalya vs Liv Morgan

I hope Liv picks up the win and they give her more tv time and focus, Nattie winning doesnt really do much for anyone apart from her - MORGAN 

2 nights, lots of matches, lots of things not needed get ready to be mildly hyped!!!

Enjoy

Bye for now

Andy

#WWE #Wrestlemania #36 #raw #smackdown #nxt #Brock Lesnar #drew mcintyre #goldberg #Braun Strowman #roman reigns #becky lynch #shayna baszler #john cena #the fiend #bray wyatt #bayley #sasha banks #undertaker #AJ Styles #kevin owens #seth rollins #john morrison #The Usos #the new day #the street profits #angel garza #austin theory #Andrade Cien Almas #aleister black

[kevinskorner]

A Little Late Series: It Was Good Until It Wasn’t by Kehlani

Kehlani is one of my favorite artists of all time. Ever since I found her music in one of my favorite youtubers’ video I was watching in 2014, I have been completely obsessed. Immediately after hearing her first mixtape Cloud 19, I turned so many people I know onto her and we’ve been together ever since then haha. I can’t believe all the growth and achievements she has received since then but it also feels like she’s just beginning. In the time between this album and her first studio album, she has been thee queen of features, and every single one has been great. I cannot believe that her second studio album is out but, here we are! 

“Toxic” was not my favorite on first listen but as time goes on, oh my god, its so addicting. I just want to scream on the top of my lungs “THAT DAMN DON JULIO MADE ME A FOOL FOR YOU”. Ty Dolla $ign’s background vocals suit the song so well and they compliment each other so well over this beat. “That dick always been problematic” is classic. Ohhhh “Can I”. I really dont have a lot to say about this one. Its incredible. “Sniper game no Bradley Cooper”?!?!?! Kehlani got better bars than a lot of rappers in the game. Its just such an absolute vibe that I want to feel forever. I don’t usually like Tory Lanez but his feature is actually nice here. I think hearing the other person’s side of the story perfectly blends the song together. On “Bad News”, I love the vocals and harmony on the “give all that shit up” parts. It can be a very beautiful song at some parts but sometimes the verses can be a little unmemorable. “Real Hot Girl Skit” is so fun, real poetry! Thank you Megan Thee Stallion <3 “Water” was probably my most anticipated song to hear because I just love water. Haha. Anyway, on my first listen I didn’t like it and was really disappointed, but! Once I played in a few more times, I fell in love. The chorus is so cool and having her go down an octave every time she says “water” was such a neat effect. I love how after the first chorus she starts speaking faster than in the first verse. her flow?!?! I did not expect rapper Kehlani to be all over this project but I live. I loveeee the chorus on “Change Your Life”. The beat bounce is so cool. Jhene and Kehlani coming together is so amazing. They compliment each other beautifully and as two modern-day R&B powerhouses, its so great seeing these two women come together. The “Belong to the Streets” skit is so upsetting because those are normal conversations that a lot of people have on the daily. People discuss women’s lives so harshly and grossly and find no problems with it. I don’t like this skit because its a sad reality but I guess I just have to accept it. “Everybody Business” is the PERFECT response to the prior skit. She’s owning who she is and talking about how she’s a grown woman who can make her own decisions! I love how the lyrics are really badass but the mood and vibe is really stripped down. It’s stunning to see how much she’s grown as a person. Since I’ve stanned for a long time, I know some things Kehlani has struggled with on the daily like what other people think of her. Seeing how she has tuned those outer voices out and started focusing on herself more is *chefs kiss*. I really didn’t expect to love "Hate the Club” as much as I have. The sax is so juicy and adds a jazzy twist to modern R&B. As someone who doesn’t participate in partying, drinking, smoking etc, I too hate the club! It’s just not my scene and I’m happy Kehlani feels the same way. I don’t ever want to have to “drink enough” as she says, in order to do something. I also absolutely am in love with the bridge. That switch! “Serial Lover” seems like a standout to a lot of people since it was produced by longtime Drake collaborator, Boi-1da. I love when she says “I think I should be single, for awhile” because after that comma she goes down an octave and sounds so sick. My favorite lyric is “I got girls I wanna give my last name”. It’s not my favorite song but its really smoothhh.  “F&MU” is such a clever song. Truly, that line “fuck and make up like its mabeliene” is so clever! How has nobody thought of that before? The only thing that really stands out to me on this song is the chorus. It’s still one of my faves, I just wish it was longer.  The squeaky bed in “Can You Blame Me” is everything. I don’t know how I feel about the Lucky Dayes’ feature though… he adds something but nothing special. "Grieving” was the MOST SURPRISING song on the whole album! I was so shook when the chorus came in omg. How come I haven’t seen more people talk about it?! Even the blending of when James says “Grieving” with Kehlani is heavenly. The transition on “Open (Passionate)” is soooo gorgeous. I like the verses better than the chorus on this one, which is surprising for me. I like the connection between being very open but its only because your so passionate about the love your in. I feel like I can very much understand and relate to that! Regarding, “Lexii’s Outro”, I knew she was going to do something for Lexii on this album ever since I found out about her passing. When You Should Be Here came out, Jealous was one of my favorite songs on the project and I loved Lexii’s verse. I’m happy Kehlani ended her second studio album this way by showing the world what this girl had. 

All honesty, on my first listen I don’t think I paid that much attention to the album and lyrics and it felt more like background noise. As time has gone on, I completely have appreciated this album and love how my girl Kehlani is progressing as an artist. This is definitely her most mature project to date and I love that for her. It’s not my favorite project from her and thats okay. It’s not bad at all. I will always like literally whatever Kehlani does. She can do no wrong in my book. Even if sometimes it feels like background noise than anything else, its still better than half the other projects ive listened to.

Standout track: “Toxic”, “Can I” feat. Tory Lanez, “Everybody Business”, “Hate the Club” feat. Masego, & “Grieving” feat. James Blake.

Rating: ★★★☆☆

#kehlani #it was good until it wasnt #kehlani album #r&b #r&b album #2020 #2020 music #music in 2020 #2020 albums #female artist #lgbtq #queen #a little late #a little late series #new music #nmf #new music friday

[hairringtonsteve]

iv. changes. [quixotic]

[steve harrington x reader (female)]

series summary: everyone that knew the truth about hawkins lab thought it was over, that it was all over. they thought that the fighting was over, the bad men were gone. the portal was closed. people were safe. you, however, you knew the truth. things were far from over. and they were coming fast.

word count: 6,892 words

a/n: alright, so i’m literally never making another promise of when i’m updating again. BUT HERE WE ARE, days after season three and a brand spanking new chapter. i’m sorry i’ve been MIA, but life has just been wild. that being said, we’re finally getting to the exciting bits. links will be in the first reblog!

tw: language

• • •

Your back was aching.

A couple of hours into the drive, Steve had pulled over at a rest stop so he could catch up on some sleep. Tee and Seb had fallen asleep awhile back, the two of them slumped over onto each other in the backseat.

“This okay?” Steve had asked, his face half-cast in shadows from the orange glow of the streetlight. There was a small brick building that had vandalized signs for bathrooms pointing to the left. Dimly lit vending machines lined the wall, advertising for snacks and soda right next to a payphone. You guys were parked near the picnic area, which consisted of two picnic tables — one of which had a clearly broken bench — and a trash can. Two tractor-trailers were parked on the other side of the parking lot.

Other than that, it was just the four of you.

“Yeah, it’s fine.” You’d started to feel nauseous around thirty miles back, but it was hard to tell if it was because of the twisting road, or the nerves finally settling in.

His hands had thrummed against the steering wheel as he glanced between the clock and you. You could feel it, this nervous energy radiating off of him. Without a word, he shrugged off his jacket and tossed it towards you. You reacted a moment too late and it smacked you in the face.

“What the hell?” You hissed, a scowl settling across your features. Behind you, you could hear one of the kids shift in the backseat. The two of you froze, waiting until the shifting had settled down before relaxing.

“Keep it down,” Steve whispered, a teasing tone in his voice. “Use it as a pillow. It’ll be comfier that way.”

You watched as he leaned down and pulled a level, making his seat go back farther. He turned around in his seat, making sure that he wasn’t going to disturb Seb before he moved it back a little more. You wondered what he was going to use as a pillow. You almost asked him, but he was already laying back in his seat, scooting down a little before he sighed.

A moment passed before you finally scrunched up his jacket and shoved it between you and the window. You lay your head down on it, adjusting it a few times before it felt even close to comfortable. Sleep was already starting to drag you under, but you stole a single glance at Steve before they’d slipped shut. He was watching you, a small smile gracing his features.

You were out in mere seconds.

And hours later, your back was aching.

You cracked your eyes open, blinking a few times to get the sleep away. The sun was just cresting over the horizon. Music was playing, the volume turned way down. Steve was singing softly under his breath.

I wanna know what love is I want you to show me I want to feel what love is I know you can show me

“We should stop for food soon.” Your voice was a little rougher than usual, thick with waking up. Steve jumped, exhaling a soft shit before looking over to you.

“Didn’t know you were awake,” he whispered. There was a slight blush coloring his cheeks. “We got back on the road about an hour ago. Kids are still out.”

You wanted to point out that he was practically a kid too, but you didn’t. “Sorry for uh, scaring you.”

He rubbed at his face and yawned before shrugging his shoulders. “You’re fine. You needed the sleep.” He waited a moment before glancing over to you and chuckled. “Did you know that you snore a lot?”

You stared at him. “I don’t snore.”

“Oh trust me, you do. As someone who got maybe three hours of sleep last night, I’m an expert on your snoring.”

“I. Don’t. Snore,” you snapped, bristling at the teasing.

He grinned as he spared a glance at you before looking back to the road. “It’s not the worst snoring I’ve ever heard, if it makes you feel any better. Dustin sounds like a train when he snores.”

You tried to remember which one was Dustin. “He’s the one with the hat, right?”

Steve went mmhmm. “Little shit snores with the best of them.”

It fell silent after that, and a little awkward. It was getting to be pretty clear to you that Steve was the actual definition of nice. His teasing was annoying and his singing voice wasn’t great, but he was nice. He was driving them hours away from his home for whatever reason. He hadn’t ratted you guys out. He’d given you his jacket to use as a pillow.

It didn’t make sense.

“That look okay?” Steve asked. You blinked, trying to figure out what he was asking when you noticed the large sign in front of the car. It just said the words DINER 1 MILE. The letters were faded.

“Are you even sure that it’s still there?”

“If it’s there, it’s there. If not, we’ll keep going,” Steve said. It was quiet for the next minute or so as he drove down the road. He slowed down as he went around a turn, and there it was — the diner.

It didn’t seem to be packed. There were only a few cars in the parking lot. It was hard to tell if it was just because it was too early or if the food was shitty. The outside of the place looked a little dingy. The sign that read Last Call Diner was still lit up despite the almost-risen sun. A few of the neon letters flickered on and off.

Steve pulled into the parking spot and navigated it into a space. He put the car in park, but didn’t turn the engine off. He shifted around in his seat to face you. “You okay with eating here?” He asked, giving you an imploring look.

You nodded slowly. “It’s fine.”

Steve opened his mouth to stay something, frowned a little, and then closed it. He bobbed his head a few times and you felt a spike of anxiety roll off of him. “Right,” he began, still nodding his head. “Cool. Yeah. Let’s head in.”

“O...kay,” you said, trailing off. You raised a brow in question at him, but he just faced the steering wheel and turned the key so the engine shut off. “Can you pop the trunk? I need to grab something from my bag.”

“What’re you getting?”

You looked at him as though he was stupid. “Cash? To pay for the food?”

He gave you the same look right back. “Why?”

“So we don’t starve?”

“No, I meant — you’re not paying for food.”

“Then who’s paying for it?”

Steve sighed dramatically. “Me. I’m paying for your food.”

“I can pay for it myself, thanks.”

“I’m not saying you can’t. But if you’re going to be on the run for awhile, you need to learn how to accept kindness from strangers.”

You gave him a long look. Maybe nice wasn’t the right word for Steve. You weren’t sure if there was a word beyond what nice meant, but whatever it was, it could be him. You tried to make sense of him, but you couldn’t. You were pretty sure that if you thought about it too long, your brain was going to start hurting.

Turning around, you swatted at Tee’s leg. “Get up, guys,” you said, your voice nice and loud. Seb let out a little groan as Tee gave you the finger. “We’re grabbing food. Let’s go.” With that you swung open the door and stepped outside.

A cool breeze made you shiver. Pressing your lips together, you glanced down at his jacket that was lying on the front seat. You were tempted to put it on.

“Just throw it on, Christ,” Steve said, leaning down a little so he could scrunch up his brow at you from where he was still sitting. You set your jaw and scowled.

But you still grabbed the jacket.

Tee was pushing the front seat forward to clamber out when she gave you a look, her eyebrows high on her forehead as you slid your arms into the sleeves. “You’re wearing his jacket?”

“It’s cold.”

“You could grab a sweater from your bag.” She was giving you that judgemental look of hers that she’d somehow perfected between Montauk and that diner. It kind of felt like she was seeing right through you somehow.

“His jacket was right here. Sweater’s in the trunk.”

She narrowed her eyes a little as she stared at you, like she was trying to figure something out. “The money’s in the back and you were gonna get that. But the sweater’s too far?”

“What’s your deal? It’s a jacket.”

Tee frowned. “I just… I don’t know if we can trust him.”

You froze. “What do you mean?” Something in your chest twisted. It wasn’t as if you’d trusted him, but you hadn’t picked up anything from him that raised the alarm. He was a little too nice and a little too earnest, but that was it. Nothing malicious, nothing bad.

She took a deep breath before frowning. “I woke up when we parked at the rest stop,” she began. “And after you fell asleep, he went to a payphone and made a call.”

Ice ran through your veins. Your breath caught in your throat. “I… What?”

“I couldn’t get out because he would’ve known and I didn’t want to wake you up because then he’d know that I knew.”

“Could you make out anything?”

Tee’s shoulders drooped as she shook her head. She glanced over to Steve and you followed her gaze. Steve was holding a hand out to Seb to help him out of the car. They were talking quietly enough that you couldn’t make out what they were saying. A soft smile was on Steve’s face as he looked down at Seb. Seb’s eyes were lighting up in response.

Internally, you screamed.

Steve glanced over to you and your expression hardened. “C’mon, we don’t have all day.”

At your words, Seb scurried around the front of the car and ran directly into you, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Can I have hot chocolate?” He asked, grinning up at you as he rested his chin against your hip. Idly, you scratched your nails lightly against his scalp.

You shook your head. “Nope. Too expensive.”

He opened his mouth to reply, but something in him made him stop. Instead, he let go of your waist and grabbed your hand, starting to drag you towards the door while Tee lingered near the car.

“No, no, you guys go ahead. That’s fine,” Steve said, sarcasm lacing his tone. When you craned your neck to get a good look at him, you could see him grinning. Seb looked back too and laughed. It was bright and happy, something you hadn’t heard in a long time.

There was so much that Seb didn’t even know he’d missed out on. Granted, there was a lot of that you didn’t know about either, but it had been too long for you. With Seb, though, there was at least some hope that he’d get to have a normal life, one without being poked and prodded and experimented on. One where he could laugh like that all the time.

“Do you think they’ll be happy to see us?” Seb asked as you reached the door. You pulled it open and let him go through before answering.

“Of course. They all miss you and Tee, promise.”

“And you, they miss you too.”

Somehow, you doubted that.

The diner was pretty empty. A couple of tables had some couples sitting at them. There were a few truck drivers sitting at the counter. Mostly everyone was still bleary-eyed as they sipped on their coffee. A waitress who looked like she’d been there since the beginning of time came up and grabbed some menus by the cash register.

“Just two?”

“No, ma’am. There are two more coming in,” you said. She gave you a nod and waved her hand, motioning for you to follow her. She led the two of you to a booth by a window, giving you a good view of the parking lot. WIthout a word she dropped the menus onto the table and headed off, muttering something about refreshing the coffee.

“Scoot in.” Seb heeded your word and slid in, his feet hanging off the edge of the vinyl. You sat beside him and grabbed a menu. He grabbed one too and began flipping through it. “You know you can’t read, right?”

“I can read some words.”

You quirked a brow at him. “Yeah? What’s that one say?” You asked, pointing to the phrase pancake platter. He squinted and leaned in close to the menu, taking his lower lip between his teeth. It took him a few seconds, but then he was sitting back against the seat and grinned up at you.

“It says ‘shut up.’” He could barely get the words out before cackling. You snorted. “There’re pictures. I’ll look at those.”

“Just make sure to get something cheap,” you warned, watching as Seb shot you a frown.

“Steve said I could get whatever I want. And I want…” He trailed off as he looked over the pictures. His eyes grew to the size of plates as they settled on a picture of “ — chocolate chip pancakes!”

“Get something else. Those are too much.”

You looked up to where Steve and Tee were just walking through the door. You tilted your chin up a little, catching his eye and nodding to the booth.

“Steve said ‘whatever you want, man.’ And he meant it!” He argued, even lowering his voice to do a poor imitation of him.

“Yeah, well, he already drove us here. Don’t use up all of his money.”

“No hot chocolate, no pancakes. C’mon El.”

“I said no.”

Seb groaned. “But he said —”

“No. And that’s it. Suck it up.”

“Suck what up?” Steve asked, raising a brow at the two of you.

“Nothing,” you said, your voice harder than you’d meant for it to be. He’d called someone at the rest stop. Shit. Shit.

“Have you ever been here before?” Seb asked Steve, scooting towards the table.

Steve waited for Tee to slide into the booth before plopping down. “Not here exactly, but in the area, yeah. Dad dragged me on a camping trip when I was eight and he drove us out this way. He forgot sleeping bags, so he slept in the car while I slept in a tent with just a blanket.”

“Why didn’t you just go home?” Tee asked.

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess my dad didn’t want to admit to my mom that he’d messed up.” There was something in his voice that told you there was something there, that something was off. You’d be able to pick that up even without your powers. You could feel it, though, that ache of some painful emotion that was swirling around him. It was hard to place. Was it regret? Anger? Sadness? Whatever it was, it was lessened a little as the waitress came over.

“Can I get you four something to drink?” She asked. She was older than they were, maybe mid-twenties. Her eyes stayed on Steve, a little smile settling across her features.

“Uh, I’ll have a coffee,” Steve said as he gave her a friendly smile.

Tee waited a few seconds before clearing her throat. Once the waitress looked over to her, she grinned, all teeth. “I’ll have a coffee too.”

“Make that three coffees,” you said. You looked over to Seb, waiting for him to order. He shrank back against the vinyl of the booth, frowning. He mumbled something, soft enough that you didn’t catch it. “What’d you say?”

He looked between you and the waitress before giving you a pointed look. You rolled your eyes at him, but leaned down so he could whisper into your ear. After he spoke, you turned back to the waitress and gave her a tight-lipped smile.

“He’ll have milk.”

The waitress nodded, scribbling down the drink order before heading off towards the kitchen.

“You afraid to talk to the waitress?” Steve asked. Seb scowled at him.

“No!”

“Then why didn’t you ask her yourself?”

Seb looked over to you and then back to Steve, heaving his shoulders up and down in a dramatic shrug. “I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.”

Steve barked out a laugh, his eyes lighting up as a grin spread across his features. “Alright man, you have me there.”

It was his grin that did it. Seb was getting too attached, too enamored with Steve and his charm.

“So who’d you call last night?”

Steve’s grin froze on his face. He blinked once, then twice, as he looked over to you. His nerves were rolling off of him in waves. “I… What?”

You tilted your head at him. “What was so important that you had to call someone last night, huh?” Your voice was deceptively calm. Tee was staring straight at Steve while Seb was looking up at you with confusion.

“Look, Elise, just let me explain.” You raised a brow, but otherwise didn’t react. “I called Dustin to let him know what was going on, where I was.”

“What’d he say?”

He paused, pressing his lips together as he thought it over. The longer he waited to speak, the more nervous you got. He shouldn’t be taking this long to answer.

“Steve,” you barked out, impatience growing thin.

“El — Jane said —”

At that, you were interrupted by the waitress. She was giving Steve another grin as she doled out the drinks. You wanted to warn her that the hair wasn’t everything, that Steve was someone that couldn’t be trusted.

But then again, was this really his fault? You were the one who should’ve said no to him driving you guys to Saline. You were the one who agreed to all of this. You were the one who put on his stupid jacket. This was on you.

“Do you guys know what you’re getting?”

Seb answered first, rattling off an order of chocolate chip pancakes while side-eyeing you hard. You didn’t even bother to correct him. Steve called his little buddy, he could waste his money on chocolate chip pancakes.

You ordered the first thing you saw off the menu, as did Steve and Tee. The waitress deflated a little, clearly disappointed in how disinterested Steve was in ordering. She lingered for a moment longer, looking at him encouragingly. An awkward silence fell over the table, and after another few agonizing seconds, she left.

“So?” You asked as soon as the waitress was out of earshot.

“You’re like Jane. Not from the Hawkins lab, but from somewhere. I assume you can do weird shit too?”

You glance down at Seb, who was shrinking down in his seat. A sharp pang of anger shot through you, but it was useless. He was a kid. It wasn’t his fault.

You guys shouldn’t have gone to that dinner in the first place.

“What else did he tell you?”

“There are people after you, uh… bad people. You’re running somewhere. That’s all.” You rolled your eyes. “Hey, I swear, okay? I promise you, that’s all I know.”

“Whatever.”

“Hey, no. You can trust me, okay? I’m not going to fuck you over.”

“Do you really expect me to believe that you didn’t know before you called your little friend?”

Steve let out a scoff. “When the hell would I have found out, huh? I drive you back to the cabin, stop at the drugstore to get you some medicine because I thought you needed it, and then drove back to you guys.”

“Why’d you even do that, huh? Why would you offer to drive us? Out of the kindness of your heart?” “YES.” Steve said, loud enough and hard enough that it drew a couple of looks from two of the tables sat near you. You could feel warmth flooding your cheeks, but you ignored it. “As hard as it is for you to believe, I just did it because… you looked scared, alright?”

“What?”

Steve heaved out a sigh as he sat back against the seat. He ran his fingers through his hair, mussing it up. When he started talking, his voice was softer. It sounded almost defeated. “Look, you guys got yourself into some shit. It’s clear that you did. Even without all of this other shit, you guys packing up in a hurry to leave the cabin that you broke into? It’s a little suspicious.”

“So what, you just felt bad for us?” Tee asked, frowning. Steve turned to her and nodded.

“Yeah, I did. Clearly whatever was going on wasn’t cool, and I figured I’d help.” He looked from Tee to you, taking care to meet your gaze. “Or at least, I’d help if you let me.”

“Am I supposed to believe all that?” You asked.

Steve shook his head. “No, I guess not. But I’ve dealt with shit like this before. I’m not the worst person you could have in a fight.” He cracked a little grin. “I only get my ass beat like, half the time. You could do worse.”

You cursed the way your stomach twisted a little at his grin. You kept the frown on your face. “You drive us to where we’re going, and then you leave. It shouldn’t take more than a few hours, tops.”

He bobbed his head in a nod. “Sounds good, boss.”

Tee was staring at you, gaping. You knew it was most likely a bad idea. Despite the fact that you still weren’t getting anything malicious off of him, trusting him wasn’t the best idea. But what alternative did you have? You could try to grab a ride with someone else, but you’d tried that in Ohio.

And it hadn’t turned out well.

Walking was another option, but really, was it a better one? Steve was your best bet to getting there in time. And once you were there, then he’d leave and you guys would make your way to Canada. You would stick to the plan.

The silence settled heavily over the table. Seb was picking at his placemat while Steve drummed his fingers against the table. Tee looked out the window, her gaze flicking from car to car. You, on the other hand, studiously kept your gaze on the door. A few more people had trickled in, mostly truck drivers, but there was one family with six kids. They all fell into the long table across the room. You watched as the mother smoothed out the hair on her daughter, who looked to be around eight or nine, and pressed a kiss against her head before looking over to one of the older sons.

Your throat felt thick.

Eventually the waitress brought over the tray of food, much to Seb’s delight. The awkward silence alleviated a little as Seb twisted around in his seat, practically shaking with excitement. Once all the food was set down, he looked over to you, eyes wide and grinning.

“I’ve never seen this much chocolate!”

Steve chuckled at that, but it died in his throat when you shot him a scowl. After that, everyone tucked into their food. The only thing that could be heard was the sound of chewing. Your eggs and bacon weren’t bad. Good enough, in fact, that you started to pay more attention to your food than the door.

You lifted a slice of bacon to your mouth as the door opened. Glancing over, you expected to see a family or some truckers walk through.

Instead, they were cops.

Two of them, specifically. One lifted his sunglasses off his face, gaze flickering around the room. Your heart stopped.

“Fuck,” you breathed out, making Steve jerk his head up to you.

“What’s wrong?”

“Cops.”

Tee’s shoulders stiffened at that while Seb looked between the two of you. A second passed, and he scooted into your side.

“There’s probably nothing wrong. They’re just here for some food.” But Steve’s voice shook a little. He grabbed for his mug of coffee and lifted it to his lips. His hand trembled.

“What do we do?” Tee asked.

“Nothing,” Steve said. “We’re not doing anything wrong. Just me and my girlfriend taking her brother and sister out for breakfast,” he added that last bit as he gave everyone a pointed look around the table.

“Girlfriend?” You bit out, frowning.

Tee groaned. “Just shut up, El…ise. Who cares?”

You bit back a response and looked down at Seb. “Just don’t say anything if they come over here, okay?” He nodded.

You turned your attention back to the cops, who were talking to the waitress. She was nodding, talking animatedly, and then looked in the direction of your table. The cops turned around to follow her gaze, and one made eye contact with you. You ducked your head as they looked back to the waitress.

“They looked over here,” you murmured, your heart beating out of your rib cage. Fuck. Steve gave a nod of his head and downed his coffee while Tee sat still, her back rigid.

“So what’d you think of that Queen album?” Steve asked out of nowhere. His voice was light as he settled back into his seat. “I can’t believe you haven’t heard them. Have you been living under a rock or what?”

“What?” You asked, caught off guard. There was a note in his tone that hadn’t been there before. It was hard to describe, but it was doing a number on your insides.

“I’m just saying it’s kind of weird,” he said as he leaned in. He rested his arms on the table as he smirked. “But seriously, what’d you think of it?”

You risked a glance to the cops. A couple a few tables down called them over. “What are you doing?” You hissed as you turned your attention back to Steve.

“Getting you to relax. You look suspicious as hell.” His voice was low, but he said it in a conversational tone. “So, tell me — what’d you think?”

“It was… It was good.” It was better than good, really. Some songs had made you want to cry while others had been so fast and loud that you wanted to play them over and over again.

“So you liked it, then?”

You sighed. “Why do you care?” This was not the conversation that should be happening. They needed to figure out how to get out of there, how to handle the situation. What if they weren’t even cops? What if they were working with Brenner?

Tee choking on her coffee brought you back to the present. Steve was looking at you expectantly, like he’d said something important and was waiting for you to respond.

“Huh?”

“I just said that I like it when pretty girls like the same music as me.” The smirk that he shot you was just downright wrong as your mouth hung open.

“That’s quite a line, son.” The voice came from your right. When you looked over, you were eye-to-eye with a holstered handgun.

“I try my hardest, officer.” Steve looked up at the cops and grinned. “She says she hates it when I call her pretty, but… You know.” He shrugged. You risked a glance at the two men, tilting your head up to get a good look at them.

The one officer laughed. “That your BMW in the parking lot, son?” Steve bobbed his head. “You know it’s double-parked, right?”

“I did not, officer. Would you like me to move it?” He asked, the picture-perfect upstanding citizen.

“No, son. It’ll be fine until you four leave. Just watch where you’re parking next time.” While the first officer was talking, the second one — who looked a lot younger than the first — was eyeing you up.

“Where are you four heading?” He asked.

“Camping,” Steve said.

“Swimming,” Tee said.

“The store,” you said.

The officers stared at three of you. The older officer narrowed his eyes a little. “What was that?”

“We’re going to the store, then heading out to go camping and swimming,” Steve said. He was speaking a little too fast. The officers stared at him, for awhile.

“Where did you four say you were from?” “We didn’t!” Seb said, piping up.

Shit.

“Where are you from then, kid?” The younger officer took on a patronizing tone, but Seb didn’t pick up on it.

“We’re from, uh, Muncie.”

Both officers paused. “Muncie, you said?” The older one asked.

Seb nodded his head as he shoveled more pancakes into his face.

The officers looked over the four of you and nodded their heads. “Well, you four have fun camping.” With that, they headed out of the restaurant. Pausing to talk to the waitress that had seated them, they spoke in hushed tones and pointed directly at your table. A minute later, they were out the door and heading to their patrol car.

They got inside, but didn’t pull away.

“Fuck,” Steve breathed out. “That was close.”

“We need to leave,” you said before cramming some more bacon into your mouth. You wrapped your hand around Seb’s wrist and started to tug him out of the booth.

“What’s going on? They left.”

“But they’re not leaving,” Tee explained, horror filling her tone. She started pushing at Steve to get out of the booth.

“Wait, what?”

“Runaways from Muncie, you think?” Tee asked, ignoring Steve’s questions. You nodded your head. The four of you began to dart towards the doorway, only to be stopped by the waitress.

“Now you four know you can’t eat and not pay, right?” At that, Steve shoved a handful of bills at her. You were positive there was way more than what you owed. “Just — those nice officers asked if you four would stick around for a minute. So just — HEY!”

As soon as she’d mentioned the officers, the four of you started to barrel through the door and sprint to Steve’s car. One officer got out of the patrol vehicle and started yelling.

“You four! Stop!”

“Get in the car! Go! Go!” Steve yelled, scrambling to get his keys out of his pocket. Tee made it to the car first and swung the door open before hopping in the backseat. She pulled the seat back as well, making it easier for you to slide in. You pulled Seb in too and his sneaker scraped against your knee as he tried to clamber into the back.

In the meantime, Steve had managed to get into the car but his hands were shaking so hard he couldn’t get the key into the ignition.

“Steve,” you snapped. You leaned over and wrapped your fingers around his wrist tight, guiding the key into the ignition. He turned to you, eyes wide and mouth parted open. His head was closer to yours than you’d realized. “Steve, drive!”

Your words snapped him out of whatever reverie he was going through and within seconds he was peeling out of the parking lot. Lights from the cop car were visible in the mirror, but Steve slammed his foot onto the gas and pulled ahead.

It took awhile, but after four backroads and thirty minutes, you were alone on the road.

Steve glanced over to you and let out a sigh. “So, where are we headed?”

• • •

It had taken a little longer than you’d thought to get there. Steve had driven down a few extra backroads just to make sure that no one was following you, and had to pull over twice. The first was to grab the map that you’d had since everyone had split up after Montauk, and the second was to let Seb pee.

You didn’t let yourself think about the day that you’d stolen a bunch of maps from the dollar store. You didn’t let yourself remember how everyone had crowded around you as you’d written the directions on the back, the directions that Doctor Arayed had told you burned into your brain.

You didn’t let yourself think about how you cried after everyone had left.

Instead, you focused on the way your heart began to thud as you told Steve to make the next right. Steve glanced over to you, lips pressed together into a small line. This was fine. Everything would be fine. They’d be there waiting for you, just like you agreed. There was nothing to worry about.

Your heart may beat right out of your chest, but it’d be okay.

Seb was babbling on about how excited he was to get there only to be shushed by Tee.

“Sorry,” you heard him whisper. If he was whispering loud enough for you to hear, then so could Steve. “I just wanna see the others.”

At that, Steve turned his whole head to look at you. Your eyes flickered towards his before looking back out the window. He already knew too much. You needed to ask Seb just what he’d told Jane. Usually he was so good about that stuff that you forgot that he was still just a kid. Then again, maybe Jane had thrown him off.

Jane and her tattoo.

It made sense for them to have more than one lab. But if she was safe there, did that mean that the lab had been taken care of? Internally, you cursed yourself. You should have asked her more questions, gotten more information.

“Rookie mistake,” Alex’s voice floated through your mind, a mix of the probably thousands of times that he’d said that to you over the years.

Asking Steve was technically an option, but it was one you weren’t going to take. Having an entire conversation about this with him was the last thing you wanted.

Steve rounded a corner and there it was. You sucked in a deep breath. Most of the windows were shattered. Grass was growing in between the concrete of the parking lot. The paint that marked the parking spots was faded. Graffiti marked the walls.

It looked as though no one had been there in years.

“Park a little bit away from the warehouse,” you murmured.

Steve hummed a quiet ‘mhmmm’ and pulled up a couple hundred feet from it.

“You want some company?”

You turned your head towards him as he spoke, already opening your mouth to disagree with whatever he was going to say. When you registered his question, your answer was immediate.

“No.”

“Look, whatever’s going on, it can’t be safe, right? So wouldn’t it make sense for someone to head in with you? I’ve even got a weapon in the trunk.”

“You’ve got a gun?”

Steve huffed out a laugh. “Not exactly.”

You sighed. “Look, you’re right. Whatever’s going on, it’s not safe. But if shit hits the fan, then someone needs to stay behind to get those two out of here.”

“You think something bad’s going to happen?” Tee asked. Her voice suddenly sounded small, a tinge of fear radiating off of her. You twisted around in your seat to face her.

“I think it’s going to work out.” Your voice was strong despite your worry. “But we need to be safe, right? Whatever happens, you two stay safe.” You turned back to Steve, watching him for a second before reaching for the handle.

It was hot out. The sun was beating down on you as you stepped out of the car. You shut the door behind you, jumping when a second door shut just a few seconds later. You whipped around, scowling as Steve leaned against his car.

“Calm down. I’m just stretching my legs.”

You wanted to make some sarcastic remark, or a joke, or anything that would make it seem like you weren’t as scared as you. But all you did was jerk your head into a nod and turn around, taking a few steps towards the building before you stopped.

Deep breath in.

Hold it for a few seconds.

Let it out, nice and slow.

It wasn’t that there was something ominous lingering in the air. Despite it not even being ten in the morning, the sun was already burning high up in the sky, making everything humid The warehouse was right where you’d known it would be, a ways off the highway, abandoned years ago. By all measures, it was normal.

But something was off.

Everyone had agreed to stick around until the fourth of July. It would be busy enough to leave together, to look like a group of kids just messing around during a holiday. It wouldn’t be difficult then, to make your way up to the border and cross into Canada.

July 4th was a week away, though, and it was quiet. You weren’t picking up anything from the warehouse. You could feel Seb’s swirl of annoyance at being left behind, Tee’s apprehension at having to wait around, and Steve’s… concern.

You forced yourself to take another step. Everything was fine. They’d just taken a while longer to get there. It made sense.

It was fine.

Your hands shook as you reached the door. With a shove, it gave way and opened into the warehouse. The air was instantly cooler, the shadowy building smelling a bit musty as you stepped inside.

You waited a beat, and then — “Hello? Anyone here?”

It was quiet. You turned to your left, spotting a staircase that led up to the second level. Pressing your lips together, you turned around to poke your head out of the door.

“Anything?” Steve called from his spot against his car.

You shook your head. “No, I’m heading in. Stay out ‘til I yell for you.”

Stepping back in, you let yourself get a better look at the inside of the building. It was mostly empty, save for a few rusted machines that must have been too big to move when the place was shut down. There were some workbenches that were coated in dust. Stepping over to one of them, you noticed that there were certain areas where the dust had been smeared around, almost like someone had rested their hand there.

Your heart soared. They’d been there. They might not be there at that very moment, but they’d been there.

“Hey, you guys here?” You yelled, this time louder than you’d yelled before. Still, it was quiet. No answer.

That was fine. Maybe they’d left for whatever reason, but there was still a week out. They could come back. Maybe they’d taken the day to explore, or to venture out and grab supplies, even if it would’ve looked weird to see that many kids buying food.

You turned around and headed to the stairs. Your steps echoed in the room, making you feel a little smaller. It’d probably get cool at night. You wondered if they’d grabbed blankets, or at least coats from somewhere to keep warm.

You reached the stairs, laying your hand on the railing as your foot hit the step. Your fingers wrapped around the cool metal, but you jerked it away when you felt something wet stick to your skin. Jerking your hand away, you stared at your palm.

It was dark, whatever it was. You brought it closer to your face. “Could be a little lighter in here,” you mumbled, trying to make out what it was. Bringing your hand to your nose, you inhaled and gagged.

It was metallic.

“Fuck.”

You turned around as you said the word and darted for the door. You stuck your hand outside, making sure to keep your palm turned away from the car.

“Everything okay?” Steve yelled.

“Yeah.” The word was choked out and definitely a lie, but all you could do was stare at the red color that was across your hand. “Stay by the car.”

Running back inside, you ran for the stairs. You blinked a couple of times to force your eyes to adjust, and that’s when you noticed it. In the shadows of the warehouse, you couldn’t make out the redness, but you could see the stark differences between the metal and the blood.

Your gaze followed it from the wall to the stairs, shifting from a splatter to just… everywhere. It was mostly dried out, except for the areas where it was darker.

Where the blood had pooled.

“Shit.”

The panic began to well up in your throat as you pushed yourself up the steps. There were footprints marked by dried blood. You couldn’t think, you couldn’t function, you couldn’t —

You tripped over something firm as you reached the top of the stairs. Knees hitting the floor, you let out a grunt as your palms braced your fall. Your eyes slipped shut for a moment as you caught your breath. A second later and you opened them, only to see blood. A lot of it. Enough blood that some of it was still sticky, still wet. It stuck to your fingers as you pushed yourself onto your knees, making bile rise up in your throat. You forced yourself to swallow as you raised your eyes, your heart thumping in your chest as you saw them.

Bodies.

Everywhere.

• • •

please reblog/like/comment/send me an ask with your thoughts!

• • •

okay, so i totally don’t remember everyone that was on the taglist, but i’ve got some listed. hit me up if you want to be added!

taglist: @billysdacreforrats @strangerstuffandthingsimagines @stevieharrrr @nugturally @letmeletmetrashyourlove @nightowleli @jodibullock1

#steve harrington x reader #stranger things x reader #steve harrington #stranger things #stranger things 3 #steve harrington/reader #stranger things/reader #steve harrington fanfic #stranger things fanfic

[reeree1500]

His Aphrodisiac...Part 2 Vampire Ivar! x Reader

Disclaimer: Smut 😏(an attempt), spelling and grammar mistakes😬 and my cliched imagination🤣Thank you for all the love and support💕☺️

Taglist: @yanii-the-hippie @peaceisadirtyword @laketaj24 @oceans-daughter-3  @camatsuru @youbloodymadgenius @calum-hoodwinked-me @wuxiesalt @supernaturalvikingwhore @readsalot73 @affection-rabbit @blonddnamedhandz @paintballkid711 @ivarthethiccness @limbo-limbo-limbo @funmadnessandbadassvikings 

Weeks had gone by after our steamy session in Ivar’s office. I still couldn’t process the fact that he was a vampire. That ancient tale of a monster who sought nothing but blood was true. However, he had proved otherwise. Ivar didn't seem like the type of person to go around sucking people’s blood just because he felt like it. No, he was the type that when I had a problem he would make it disappear. Like Johnathan, my ex-fiancee who wouldn't stop harassing me. As soon as Ivar had found out about him, he never showed up again. It was as if he had disappeared into thin air. Of course I was relieved at the time, but now I cant help but think about if Ivar had anything to do with it...

----------------------

it was the night of the annual Lothbrok Corp dinner. Only a select few people from the office were to attend as many of our sister branches would also send their representatives. Not to mind the fact that the founders of Lothbrok corp would all be there as well, with their friends and family. This year the dinner had been set to occur at Ivar’s mansion upstate. This included a secluded area where the next house wouldnt be in sight for miles. Ivar was a man of privacy and now I could understand why. The dinner was to start in an hour and I had yet to finish my makeup. I wasn't really one to amazing at it, but I knew what would compliment my (y/s/t) complexion. As I finish applying my mascara, I take one last look in the mirror before heading out to the kitchen to find my phone and call an Uber. Taking my coat in one hand and juggling my keys, phone and purse in the other. I manage to somehow lock the door, but not before I’m met with a pair of electric blue eyes. “I..Ivar. W...What are you doing here?” I manage to say through my shock. 

“You haven't returned any of my calls or messages since that night (y/n). I wouldn't admit this to anyone else, but I was genuinely worried about you.” He trails off as he says the last part whilst avoiding my gaze. “Ive just had a lot on my mind, Ivar. Im sorry.” I say looking anywhere except his eyes, knowing full well the effect they had on me. In a flash Ivar stepped away from the limousine, took my coat and placed it on his arm and grabbed my hand dragging me towards it. “Ivar what are you doing my Uber’s here.” “I gave him 100 bucks and sent it away. You're coming with me.” He whispers the last part close to my ear before shoving me inside the limo. His tone of voice wasn't all the way warm, it had hints of his icy personality in them and made it hard to breathe for me.

-------------

The car ride was awkward and filled with lots of tension. Ivar tried multiple times to start a conversation with me, but I paid him no mind. I sat as far away as possible from him, I could swear that there were times where I thought that I would fall out the door. His hands would “accidentally” (as he said) wander all over my legs, tracing patterns and ever so often trailing even higher. It took everything in me to  ignore his advances, and he knew very well the effects his touch had on me. His mere touch created a pool of wetness down there and the bastard knew it. Before his hand could go any further, the view of a great mansion surrounded by nothing but trees caught my eye. “Woah, that's huge.” I said as I looked out the window. “And its all yours (y/n), if you’d just have me.” Ivar says as he turns my head and stares into my (e/c) eyes. Getting lost in his electric blue orbs I lose all sense of why I was upset at him. It’s as if it’s only us two and the whole world disappeared when I look at him. Before either one of us could act upon our feelings once again, we’re interrupted by the driver as he pulls up in front of the house. “Oh for fucks sake! Someone is always interrupting us!” Ivar screams out, startling me a little as his eyes began to glow. His sudden outburst made me want to run away, but also made me feel as if I should have calmed him down.  Ivar turns to me and he just stares, no sudden movements or words just a blank stare. In seconds Ivar is out of the car and opening the door for me. If I hadnt known that he was a vampire I could've sworn that it had all been a fix of my imagination and that he truly wasnt there.

-------------------

As Ivar led from the limo inside the mansion, I couldnt help but admire the artwork and intricate design of his house. It was something truly unexpected from him. Once inside the ballroom Ivar had disappeared, I guess to greet everyone and say hello to his family. Whom I know he hasn't seen for the longest time. I however, am very overwhelmed and I think it may have to do with the fact that everybody’s eyes are on me. I don't do very well in public scenarios like this one and all the attention is making me a little sick. There was security all over the place and although intimidating I knew that I had to find a washroom as quickly as possible, so I could lock myself in there all night. The bodyguard didn't even speak, he just pointed towards the stairs and went back to acting as if I wasnt there. Shrugging it off I make my way up the stairs only to find a corridor with an exceptional amount of doors. Internally cursing myself I make my way down and knock on every door, but they're all locked. I almost gave up until I saw the double doors on the right. Obviously this couldn't be bathroom, but at this point I didn't care, I just had to find a place to stay till it was time to go. 

As I opened the double doors Im greeted by an awfully dark lit room, with intricate black designs. The cravings on the bed posts and the paintings around are those of ancient nordic runes, something that led me to believe that this might have been Ivar’s room. I knew of his great admiration foe his background, he loved anything that had to do with nordic beliefs and ancient gods. Making may way inside Im transfixed by all the artwork and details around me that I fail to acknowledge the presence that lies in the corner of the room. “So, I seem you've made yourself acquainted with my room already, (y/n)” Ivar says as he walks out of the shadows with his crutches? “Oh my God, Ivar are you okay? I literally left you for less than an hour and you've already gone an injured yourself! Wait, I dont mean to sound like a bitch/ignorant or anything, but why do you have crutches? Aren't like vampires supposed to be like physically invincible?” I said all in one breath, as Ivar just cocked his head to the side and stared at me. “You honestly believe everything that the media tells you, dont you?” Point taken, all I knew about vampires were form shows, movies and books that were then turned into movies or shows. “Anyway, before I became a vampire, I was actually a viking. Hence all the nordic runes everywhere and the massive tattoo on my chest and back. My family was very rich and my father Ragnar was king. However, unlike my siblings I was born without function in my legs. Which is why I use those metal braces in the corner over there while I'm in public, and these only around people I trust.” He says moving closer to me. “Now, tell me as to what drew you to come in to my room without me, (Y/n).” Ivar says as he draws my name longer than he has to, in a very sensual tone that makes my knees tremble.

“(y/n), give in. Dont fight it, we were meant to be. You're the reason I can finally feel alive. If it weren't for you, I probably would've kept roaming this world with no sense of purpose. I know you feel this connection. So once again , will you let me take care of you?” And in that moment all senses had been thrown out the window.

Ivar closed the gap with his hot mouth against yours. You gasped as you felt the heat spiral through you, as you ran your fingers through his soft locks. Throwing the crutches to the side Ivar manages to pick you up the hips and deepens the kiss. The sensual dance between your tongue and his is soon over as you cave in to his dominance and let his explore your mouth, slowly with deliberate movements. “Ahhhh...” A moan escapes your lips as his lips move down to your neck. “Since I saw you in that dress earlier tonight, it took everything in me to not act on impulse.” Making his way to the bed, Ivar lays you gently on the back satin sheets and holds himself up as his roam over your body in admiration. Ivar then looks at you for permission as his fingers begin unlacing and unzipping your dress. As Ivar kisses along to every spot that is unveiled to him, goosebumps begin to raise along your skin. You had longed for this moment for awhile, but had denied yourself of the pleasure due to your fear. Oh how stupid could I have been you thought to yourself as you relish in the pleasure that this man brought you every time he kissed and caressed you. “You're so beautiful...” Ivar says as he touches you with reverent fingers, as he begins caressing that part of your body that is not very often explored.

His fingers begin tracing the inside of my hips as his head dips down to my flower. Ivar takes my clit into his mouth and gently bites it, bringing a pleasure that I cannot describe. My hips buck up to him on their own accord asking for more. But he holds me down and brings his face up to mine. His intense gaze had distracted me for a second as his ministrations towards my clit were over. But before I could beg him and ask him for more, it was as fi Ivar had already beat me to it. In a flash he had dipped and curled 2 of his massive fingers into my hole. Pumping them in at an alarmingly fast rate. “I..Ivar, that feels so good!” I manage to say through my moans that are increasingly louder as I throw my head back from all this pleasure. Ivar’s pace becomes steady and his lips are now focused on my right breast, kissing and caressing it as if it were his favourite thing in the world. My hands uncurl form the sheets and move towards his head caressing it and then bringing it up so that I could kiss him. This time I wanted to show him that I too cared for him. And all that fear had been washed away, this man had been everything to me the minute I started working for him and Would be damned if I let him get away. Vampire or not! 

Bringing him in for a kiss Ivar tries to take control and dominate again, but this time I would be in control. I manage to shock Ivar with the lack of submission that he’s used to seeing from me. I use this to my advantage and flip us over. Trying to not hurt him in the process. I break apart our kiss and stare deeply into his eyes as our heave breaths begin to entangle with each other and become one. I slowly remove his fingers from my hole, much to his dismay. And before he could protest I place my finger to his lips. “You've shown me how much you care for me. Time and time again Ivar. Let me show you that I care too.” At this his eyes hold admiration, surprise, and hints uncertainty. Making my way down his body, I leave trail of kisses form his chest all the way down to his legs. Taking my time kissing every part of them and staring into his eyes with love and tenderness, which he mirrors in his gaze towards me. I then make my way up to his long and already hard cock. Oozing with loads of precum.  Licking the excess I take as much as I can into my mouth as I wrap my hangs around the base his very thick and long shaft. Pumping and bobbing my head I can feel and hear Ivar’s pleasure. His hands wrap around my (h/l)(h/c) hair and his hips thrust forward. I can see that he is reaching his high and before I could make him cum, he pulls out of my mouth. “I’d like to cum inside you, if you'd let me (y/n)” He says as his hands pull my face into a heated kiss.

Climbing on top of him I go to position myself on his member. However, Ivar flips us around so that he is the one on top. I could only look at him in shock for a second before my eyes roll back as I feel him thrust into me with one swift movement. My hands wrap around his torso, and claw at his back from the overwhelming sense of pleasure. Our moans become a melody to my ears, but soon I can feel myself reaching that high. “Ivar.....Im gonna” “I know baby, me too.” And just like that with a few more of his powerful thrusts Ivar and I reach our edge. Ivar and I stare into each others eyes with admiration and love. My hands without thought brush the strands from his hair away from his sweaty face. “Dont leave me ever again (y/n), I mean it. Those weeks that went by were probably the hardest of my life.” He breathes out as he caresses my face and body so gently, as if he were thinking that I would just vanish right there. “I would never think of leaving you again, ever. Im your aphrodisiac after all. What would you do without me?” And without a care in the world we lied in each others arms whilst the party roared downstairs, and the host nowhere to be found.

#vikings #vikings history channel #vikings fanfiction #vikings fandom #vikings ivar #ivar #ivar the boneless #ivar lothbrok #ivar x reader #reader x ivar #one shot #vikings smut #vikings fluff

[lihikainanea]

I...I may re-write this at some point. Because I hate it. Let’s be clear, I just want these two to bang each other’s brains out again like right the fuck now but I feel like I had to ~set it up~ properly and just...look, this what you get when a horndog of an author with 2987548695659 kink buttons is in A Mood(TM) to get all of them SLAMMED AT ONCE but instead has to write ~fluff~ because it’s what makes sense for the story right now. If you need me, I’ll be in my little corner flipping this story off while my kink buttons very much do not get slammed. Fuck you BFF!Bill. I'm so mad at you right now.

Part 1 + 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6

Credit my rage to @ill-skillsgard and that nani who ruined my life with the original ask in Parts 1+2 there.

I dunno how many parts left I got to this, the part below really discouraged me. I  feel like I got carried away in their story line and I’m all self-conscious about it now because I really just....I want to write all the sexy times. That’s it. I liked the shorter drabbles of these two that I did more towards the beginning. 

BLERGH, shut up Leilani. 

***

In hindsight, the ice cream was a terrible mistake. 

To your credit, it had taken awhile for things to get awkward. A good few weeks. And to Bill’s credit, he really made it near impossible to be awkward around him.The awkwardness had littered your friendship to varying degrees, but no matter how mortifying the events were, Bill just never seemed plussed about any of it. There had been the time he had gotten food poisoning on a camping trip in the woods, pitifully crawling his way on all fours to your tent in the middle of the night. You had woken up to what you thought was a wounded animal, unzipping your tent and seeing Bill’s curled up form on the ground in front of you. It had taken over an hour to help him crawl just a hundred feet to the communal washrooms, where you stayed with him on the floor for the entire night. It was nothing short of contortion, the way he folded his large body in on himself in the tiny stall, groaning in pain and discomfort. Your heart bled for him that night, he was so sick he had gone grey and the only thing you could do to help was stroke his soaked back and keep wetting paper towels to hold on his neck while he wretched. He had eventually passed out, thunking his head hard right onto your chest, and in your sleep-deprived hysteria, you thought he was dead. Mutual friends still tell the tale over beers, now a great source of laughter, of how you had emerged from the washrooms in the wee hours of the morning screaming for help with Bill--all 6′4 of him--slung over your shoulders in a fireman carry. Bill’s feet still dragged on the ground and his upper body hung limp over your shoulder, but you didn’t care. You just knew he needed help. When he eventually came to, hooked up to an IV and still looking grey, he didn't seem at all shocked when he was told how he made it to the medical centre.

Then there was the time during a traditional movie night at his place, when you felt the tell-tale cramp--that deep cramp low in your belly that had you folding in on yourself briefly. Your cycle wasn’t due for another 3 more days, but your body had other plans. You hadn’t even brought a purse to Bill’s, and looking frantically at your light coloured jeans, you knew you were in trouble. Bill stared at your form, gradually closing in on itself as another cramp hit.

“You okay?” he asked, putting a hand on your back.

“Yeah I uh...I have to go. Sorry, forgot I needed to do something tonight..” you trailed off, tossing the blanket and slowly shifting to stand in a way that would attempt to minimize the flow that you could now feel starting between your legs. Bill eyed you cautiously, then rolled his eyes. Grabbing another slice of pizza from the box in front of him, he stood and grabbed your elbow.

“C’mon,” he said, leading you to the bathroom.

“What are you--” your sentence was cut off when he reached an arm up, opening the cupboard. Inside, you stared in confusion when you spotted a small box of tampons, a few pads, even a little bottle of Midol. He turned to you, shoving another bite of pizza in his mouth.

“If there’s something in here you need, just take it,” he said, his mouth full as he chewed loudly.

“Bill why the fuck do you have these in your bathroom?”

He shrugged, blasé.

“Because I’m a grown ass man and I have grown ass women in my life,” he said, as if it was the most obvious explanation in the world.

“Take whatever you need and get your ass back on the couch, the best part is coming up,” he turned to leave before calling over his shoulder “or if you need something else or whatever, just write it down and I’ll pick it up next time I’m out.”

When you emerged from the bathroom a few moments later, a pair of sweatpants hit you smack in the face.

“In case you’re bloated or whatever,” was the explanation.

You changed. The pants were comically large, with a ton of material still pooling around your feet even after you had rolled the waistband a dozen times.

Joining him back on the couch, he covered the two of you with a blanket again before reaching behind him for something. He tucked a hot water bottle against your stomach and you moaned slightly at how good it felt, then he put his arm back around you and pulled you into his side, restarting the movie. Not another word was spoken.

So compared to a lot of what had happened in the past, having sex with him should have paled in comparison on the scale of awkward. If the sex had been terrible, perhaps a certain degree of awkwardness would be expected. But incredible sex? Incredible sex should be celebrated. And you were on board with that, for awhile.

Until the ice cream.

You had almost forgotten, in fact as the days went on you became more and more able to downplay what had happened, and the level of pleasure you experienced which seemed to have put your body in shock for more than a few days after. Maybe it wasn’t a matter of Bill being so good in bed, feeling so safe with him, and more a matter of just....how pent up you had been. You were almost convinced, almost certain that this was fact. Bill was probably just average, at best. But you did trust him a whole ton more than any of the Tinder dates you had met so combined with your hair trigger for needing a release at that time, it had all just culminated into three delightful explosions.

Until the ice cream.

It had been a longstanding tradition of yours, no matter the season, of going for ice cream the day before Bill left on another shoot. He had a sweet tooth that was completely unrivalled but he had stayed away from sweets for the few months leading up to his new gig, having to take some weight off his already slim frame for his new role.  But as you sat beside him, a banana split for you and an extra large vanilla soft serve for him, you realized what a terrible mistake this was.

“Oh my god,” he groaned in pleasure and you stilled, memories of that groan flooding your mind. You turned to him just in time to see his long tongue snake out, licking slowly from the the cone to the tip of his ice cream.

“Jesus Christ,” he moaned again, “it’s been so long.” His mouth closed around the peak of it, making a small slurping noise as he sucked part of it into his mouth. You felt the heat immediately rising to your cheeks. He moaned again, swirling his tongue around the cone.

“How’s yours?” he asked. 

“It’s uh, it’s good,” you said.

“Might be better if you took a bite, tiger,” he teased. Looking down, your spoon was clenched tightly in your fist and your sundae was untouched. Shaking your head slightly, you lifted the cherry off and popped it in your mouth. You nearly choked when Bill let go another groan that was nothing short of sexual.

“I’m in fucking heaven,” another long lick of his cone from bottom to top,  he sighed happily and closed his mouth over the top again to suck another bite in. Your thighs clenched as you couldn’t get rid of the images that flooded your brain. Bill’s green eyes, peering up at you from between your legs, asking permission. Bill’s eyes closed, moaning in content as he ran his mouth and his nose over your panties. The hum and suckling noise when he pursed his lips around your clit, dragging it into his mouth. That sinful tongue--that long, skilled tongue slowly lapping at his ice cream--and the way he slowly lapped at you, savouring every single lick as if it was giving him as much pleasure as it was giving you.

You watched as he stuck his tongue out to lick at some of the ice cream that had dribbled on his chin, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

He had done that too, once he was done turning you into a quivering, moaning mess beneath his mouth. You remembered how he raised up on his haunches, his eyes a blaze of fiery green, as he licked at his bottom lip and swiped his mouth with the back of his hand. 

You had almost started to sweat, feeling the flush creeping up your chest.

“You look weird, kid,” his voice interrupted your thoughts, “You okay?”

You cleared your throat, begging your voice not to crack. Begging--you had begged him, too, begged him to make you feel good. And he did. He promised you he would, and oh God, he did. You ran a hand over your face, resisting to urge to knock the side of your head in an attempt to force the images out of your thoughts.

“I’m good,” you lied. You couldn’t meet his eyes anymore, as you felt that ache deep in your gut start again. Your legs shook slightly, your thighs trembling, remembering how good it felt. How good he felt, and how good he made you feel. The way he seemed completely focused on your pleasure, on making sure any little movement he made gave you pleasure. How he had checked in on you, made sure you were feeling good, before continuing anything. How he had made you cry out, clinging to him, gasping for air not one, but three earth shattering times.

Suddenly, you needed air. You needed air, and you needed space. Distance. 

You stood, abruptly. Bill looked up mid-lick, his tongue still on his ice cream as his eyes peered up at you. That look. You closed your eyes, pinching your brow with your fingers.

“Finish tongue-fucking that ice cream, I have a lot of work to do tonight ” you said. Your tone had come out much, much harsher than you had intended, but you turned before you could catch the confused look on his face. 

He dropped you off that night, the car ride home was a one-sided conversation as he talked about the new project and how long he’d be gone, what he was excited for, what his character would do. Walking you to your door, he wrapped his arms around you tightly and laid a wet smack of a kiss on your cheek.

“Let me know when you’re free to FaceTime,” he had said, his face tucked into your neck, “There’s not too many night shoots so our schedules should sync up.”

“ ‘kay.” 

“And hopefully you can come out for a weekend, you’d probably like it there. New Tinder material for you,” he chuckled.

“ ‘kay.”

He pulled away, keeping his hands on your shoulders. You stared at his chest, but felt his eyes boring into you.

“Tiger,” he commanded, “look at me.”

When you shifted uncomfortably, he moved one hand to under your chin and tilted it up to meet his eyes.

“What’s going on with you?” he asked. You looked away, your chin still resting on his hand, and gave a half-hearted shrug. Images from before still clouded your brain, your pleasure receptors still firing on all cylinders at the memory of that mouth, those hands all over you. You let out a ragged breath, and his thumb and forefinger moved to pinch your chin.

“Are you getting awkward about what happened between us?” he asked and your eyes widened in surprise--sometimes his direct and straight-forward approach still caught you off guard.

“Jesus Bill,” you tried to move your chin away but he opened his hand, cupping your jaw.

“Answer me.”

“No, I’m not getting fucking awkward about it.”

“Eyes, kid.”

You dragged your eyes back to his and he saw right through you, raising his eyebrows in challenge. You pouted.

“Don’t lie to me, tiger,” his tone softened and he sighed, “Look, that night--did it feel good? Did you feel good?”

“Uh....yes,” you responded quietly. He bent at the knees, tilting his head to maintain eye contact with you when you tried to look away.

“And do you feel better now, after you got what you needed?” he asked. You hated this. You hated every part of how honest he was, how comfortable he was at having these insanely uncomfortable conversations.

“Ugh, Bill, I can’t--”

“Answer me.”

“Yes,” you whispered, heat blazing your cheeks. There was nothing but kindness in his eyes though, genuine honesty to his questions.

“You deserve to feel good. You needed to feel good. And you trusted me with that. And I helped?” he looked to you for confirmation.

“Yeah. Yeah you helped,” you confirmed. He smiled, stroking your cheek.

“And I was happy to. You’re my best friend, kid. I love you, and I wanted to help you. That’s it, okay? We promised it wouldn’t get awkward,” he looped an arm around you again, bringing you back in for a hug. ‘It’s just sex.”

“Fucking phenomenal sex,” you muttered into his chest.You felt his boisterous laugh, his arms squeezing you tighter.

“It was fucking phenomenal sex,” he pulled away and smiled at you.  You tugged his jacket collar down, silently beckoning him to bend and you kissed his cheek.

“Have fun, Billy Goat,” you said.

“Be safe, tiger” he responded, “Stay outta trouble while I’m gone.”

And with a final wave as you shut your door, you watched him pull out into the street. He’d text you tomorrow morning from the airport, you knew, and again when he landed.

But tonight, tonight you still had an ache in your gut, a tremble in your thighs that you knew wouldn’t let you sleep until those pleasure receptors--ones that remembered all too well--were satiated again.

#BFF!Bill #BFF Bill #bill skarsgard drabble #bill skarsgard fic #bill skarsgard #nani asks #sometimes I hate writing #and it hates me right the fuck back