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m0ther-of-p3arl · 8 months

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across the great divide (there is a glorious sunrise)

chapter one: autumn leaves falling down

or: i had an idea for an au and just. ran with it. yeah um this is based on another piece of media, a book series i really enjoyed that is very popular. perhaps you can guess? anyway. things will be revealed soon enough. hope you enjoy!! (also: it's about time i write an owen-centric fic, huh)

(4304 words)

Ever since Owen Giutivi was very young (two years, three months, and five days old, to be specific), he’s always known almost instinctively that there was something different about him, something a little weird, a little off. Maybe it’s something in the way he tends to always be mentally leagues ahead of the rest of his class, maybe it’s something in the way he’s always been able to understand subjects most adults would have no idea how to begin to go about comprehending. Throughout his formative years, Owen was always pushed to go further, work his incredible mind as hard as he could, whether by his well-meaning but demanding parents, or the teachers and child specialists who were there to witness it when he was reading 500-page novels in first grade.

Yeah, there’s really no doubt about it: Owen has always been extremely, if not astoundingly or even scarily smart- he’s been labeled a genius, a prodigy, a million words that honestly couldn’t mean less to him. The most important part, the only part that really matters, is that he almost never meets someone who gets it, who doesn’t act as if he’s some freak because of his intelligence. And he supposes that’s why he gravitated towards Charlie: a part of him can tell, even from a first glance, that there is something strange, something more unusual than what you see in a typical middle-schooler, about Charlie too.

Owen first met Charlie Sickle when they were both twelve, almost thirteen, at the start of Seventh Grade. Charlie was the new kid in school, and Owen sat next to him in Social Studies (the best class, no one could ever convince him otherwise). Obviously, they hit it off right away- he was a refreshing blast of fresh air in the face for Owen, with his strange habits, ridiculous energy, and always over-excessive swearing. Charlie is, hands-down, the funniest guy he’s ever met. Within minutes, he’ll have Owen laughing so hard he feels like his stomach is going to split in two, aching with howling snickers that carry over the whole room when they’re supposed to be reading quietly, earning glaring looks from other students and loud shushes from their teacher.

But Owen doesn’t care, because he’s around Charlie. And Charlie never cares about anything anyway.

And it’s incredible, because for the first time, Owen has someone who understands him, who’s willing to be his unwavering partner in crime, through thick and thin. Charlie brings out a part of him Owen thought he had lost, he lets Owen be a normal kid again- when he’s with Charlie, he isn’t the genius, the freak, the quiet kid who all the teachers adore, when he’s with Charlie, his intelligence isn’t his defining trait, his only trait.

When he’s with Charlie, he’s just Owen- and he’s happy. Charlie and Owen, Owen and Charlie- they became a conglomeration, never one referenced, by children and adults alike, without mentioning the other. Within a month of meeting each other, they became inseparable. Owen’s parents don’t approve of their friendship- of course they don’t. Charlie is extroverted, and an undeniable loudmouth; basically, everything Owen isn’t. Charlie breaks him more out of his shell every day, he lets Owen be something more than the perfect prodigy everyone adores.

Owen supposes the old saying, opposites attract, really is true- because where Charlie’s outgoing and boisterous, Owen is studious and quiet. Where Charlie has no qualms going up and asking whichever person he currently has a crush on out on a date, Owen can never even bring himself to say more than two words to the people he’s attracted to. Charlie skips classes and blows off quizzes and has the worst grades in the class, if not the entire school- and yet, Owen never gets anything less than perfect marks and straight As in all his subjects.

But somehow, through all this, Owen’s grades have never slipped, and Charlie has learnt when it’s best to be loud and when to hold in his jokes- because the thing about Owen and Charlie is that they only ever rub off on each other in the best ways possible. Owen means it when he says that, quite literally, there are almost no downsides in their friendship. They’re thick as thieves (and twice as crafty), and though they are shunned and generally unpopular, it doesn’t even matter.

Neither of them really have any other friends, but they don’t care because it’s enough to just have the two of them, brothers in all but name, a bond between them that no one could break. Charlie is quite literally the only reason Owen managed to get through middle school without completely pulling into himself, and for that, he is forever thankful.

It is because of Charlie, of course, that Owen regards Seventh Grade as the best year of his life.

Then, Eighth Grade came.

——

It’s the first day of Eighth Grade, and Owen is a jumbling ball of nerves. His worries mostly stem from a wondering if things will be the same between him and his best friend, who he hasn’t seen all summer- Charlie was at an all-summer camp that he’s always spoken of vaguely throughout their friendship, and hasn’t been able to properly contact Owen the whole summer. They had sent a few half-hearted letters, but they both felt it wasn’t the same, and broke off correspondence.

Luckily, Charlie was back in town in time to receive his schedule, and through texts he and Owen have managed to figure out that they share most, if not all, of their classes. Owen is elated, of course- and from what he can tell, Charlie is too (Charlie always gets so excited at the stupidest things, Owen loves him for it). But that doesn’t change the underlying anxiety that bubbles under the surface as he gets ready to see his best friend for the first time in nearly four months.

(Honestly, Owen doesn’t know why summer breaks have to be so long. All that one can do during that time is have way too much time to think- and Owen wishes vehemently he had less time to do so. He would rather be in school, reviewing stupid math equations he learnt years ago.)

Stepping out to the bus stop, backpack weighing him down anew, binder slung over his shoulder by its strap, Owen notices a chill in the air uncharacteristic for early September in Philadelphia. The sky is overcast, the color of the clouds similar in hue to Owen’s favorite blue-gray sweater, of which he has donned at the moment.

The other kids at his bus stop consist of some eighth graders like him, some seventh, and a couple giddy sixth graders excited beyond belief for their first day of middle school, and Owen takes stock of them all, plastering his face with a familiar dulled-out expression. He doesn’t have the heart to tell the sixth graders that there really isn’t anything super exciting about this, doesn’t have the heart to tell them they’ll be burnt out by the time the month is even up. He stands lazily by the bus stop sign, leaning against the familiar metal pole as he has so many times before, eyes grazing across the scenery, a stagnant scene he knows like the back of my hand- a street corner washed in swathes of gray, the only color the specks of green and yellow drifting across the tops of trees.

A wind gusts past, and Owen shivers. If the bus doesn’t come soon, by god, he’s gonna- like- swear, or something. He stifles a snicker at his imagination, currently painting a picture of Charlie, shaking a fist down the empty street, cursing at the sky and blowing puffs of condensation out of his pouting mouth with every breath.

(The fact that no one speaks to him at the bus stop is so stupid. He genuinely does not need more time to think about anything, especially how lonely- how lonely he isn’t. He’s fine. Owen’s fine. Why would anyone ever think anything else?)

The bus does come eventually, ten long minutes, punctuated only by the music blaring through Owen’s headphones, later. He huffs out a sigh and yawns, stretching up to the clouds, before resigning himself to his fate and clambering up the steps onto the already-crowded bus.

Immediately, a familiar face pops up from behind a seat in the back, his green eyes bright and smile contagious. Owen feels a similar expression begin to worm its way across his face at the sight of his best friend, and he quickens his pace, sliding into the schoolbus seat beside Charlie as if no time has passed.

“Owen! Owen fuckin’ Giutivi! It’s been a while, hasn’t it!” Charlie ruffles Owen’s hair, giving him a quick hug, and Owen sticks his tongue out at him, relief washing over his body like a summer rainstorm.

“Hey, Charlie,” Owen grins back, affection blooming within him as he flicks his best friend across the forehead. “Hope your summer was well good, mate!”

“Oh my god, I forgot you were so… British,” Charlie mutters lightheartedly to himself upon hearing Owen’s accent, slamming his head back into the fake leather of the seat with a half-laugh. “My summer was great, you?”

“Meh,” Owen answers truthfully, shoulders still permanently slumped as he leans back to join Charlie. “I stayed at home a lot, there wasn’t much to do. Maybe someday I can come to that fancy camp of yours.”

It was just an offhand comment, but Charlie’s face brightens immediately, his smile somehow growing even more. “Holy shit, dude, that would actually be amazing. Hopefully you fit the camp requirements, I think you’d really fit in there.”

Owen stares at him incredulously, the corner of his mouth turned up in a half-smirk. “Charlie Sickle. In all the long long months you’ve known me, have I ever been the type to fit in anywhere?” When he doesn’t respond, Owen sighs and speaks again. “The answer to that, by the way, is no.”

“No, but I’m serious! I actually think you would love it there.”

(Owen mentally recoils at this, unconsciously folding into himself. He’s not- he’s not that kind of person, he’s not like Charlie- he can’t just make friends wherever and whenever he feels like it. Owen is so drawn into himself, it’s honestly a miracle he hasn’t disappeared entirely at this point. Doesn’t Charlie understand he’s his only tether to the rest of the world? Doesn’t he realize that without him, Owen might as well be a robot for the amount of living he’s actually doing? Can’t he see that the majority of Owen’s summer has been spent staring at the same spot on his bedroom wall in silence?

And the fact that Charlie seems so sincere only serves to make his statements even more ridiculous. Honestly, he should know by now that Owen is about the most antisocial guy out there. It’s one of the constants of his life that he doesn’t fit in anywhere.)

Owen hums noncommittally, pulling out his earbuds and sticking one into Charlie’s ear as well as his own, as is their tradition. “You choose first?” he asks, deftly changing the subject, and Charlie nods vigorously (completely oblivious to Owen’s discomfort, but that’s fine, he’s fine), grabbing Owen’s phone and opening Spotify. Within seconds, a song is screaming through Owen’s headphones, and he reaches for his phone to turn down the volume, cringing as the noise only increases. Of course he had pressed the wrong button. Charlie rolls his eyes and helps Owen out, lowering the volume significantly until he can relax again.

“What’s the song?” Owen asks. Charlie is bobbing his head to a ridiculous degree, exclaiming loudly whenever the beat drops.

“Sex Sells by Lovejoy,” he answers, stretching. “Fucking banger, right? It’s by my friend Wil’s band- he also goes to my summer camp. I think you’d like him.”

(Maybe Owen would like him, but no one ever likes Owen. Except Charlie. There’s a reason why Owen has never made any friends in his life other than the boy sitting obliviously next to him right now, humming along to a tune only the two of them can hear. Charlie is his fucking lifeline.)

“His music is good, anyway,” Owen half-agrees, trying to mask his surprise at the rememberance that he is not, in fact, Charlie’s only friend in the world.

“Yeah, he’s usually the main leader of this, like, campfire singalong shit we do nightly, along with the other members of his cabin, cuz they’re all kind of music dudes. They like to flaunt it too. Fuckers,” he mutters, clear-cut affection in his voice that causes Owen to squirm with a kind of unprompted jealousy. Charlie clears his throat, continuing quickly. “Anyway- yeah, Wil has a really nice guitar- it was his dad’s and its sound is, like, really fucking good. Feels like it carries for miles, and that’s even without a mic.” Charlie’s head is still bopping to the music, and Owen belatedly realizes that he’s doing the same, albeit less ferociously.

“I’ll give you an eight out of ten for that,” he admits, and Charlie’s eyebrows shoot up in satisfied surprise.

“You hear that, boys?!” he yells, those in the general vicinity shooting annoyed glances his direction, and Owen snickers under his breath at his friend’s ridiculousness. “Charlie Sickle wins again!”

Their conversation continues lazily on the way to school, taking turns choosing new songs to play for the other.

(The rules of their game, one Charlie invented some time in the first few months of their friendship, are as follows: the two of them take turns choosing a song- it has to be a new song they haven’t ever played for the other yet, as well as one the other has never heard. Then, the person who isn’t choosing takes a listen and rates the song on a scale of one to ten, which corresponds to the number of points the chooser gets. At the end of the bus ride, the person with the most points wins for the day and gets the other’s cookie at lunch.)

Unsurprisingly given his strong start, Charlie’s won for this day- as he and Owen step off the bus, the wind carrying on it the scent of something foreboding, Owen tacks up their final scores at thirty one for Charlie versus twenty three for Owen, and he resigns himself to a cookie-less lunch.

“Hey, Owen, do you remember who our homeroom is?”

Owen sighs, exasperated, and rolls his eyes- because honestly, it is just like Charlie to not know. “Did you, like, leave our schedule at home or something?”

“Pff- fuck, are you, like, accusing me? You think I could do something like that? Jeez, dude, I’m hurt- gonna have to find a new best friend, I guess…” Charlie trails off, and though there is no fire behind his words, Owen can’t help it as his heart picks up speed at the thought of having to do all this alone, he knows Charlie’s making a joke, but Owen doesn’t want to be alone-

“We have a Mrs Pemberton,” Owen notes for Charlie, trying to get himself under control, and the shorter of the two nods before the two boys lapse into comfortable silence, just two best friends against the world. Or at least, Owen hopes that’s what they are, hopes that’s what Charlie sees him as. He doesn’t know what he’d do if it’s not.

(Later, Owen will look back and berate himself, because he should have noticed the way Charlie stood shakily, the way his eyes darted back and forth, as if on the lookout for something. He should have noticed the way Charlie’s jokes weren’t as well-thought-out as usual, the way his usual ridiculousness felt forced and fake.

Owen should have noticed that, as they made their way to Mrs Pemberton’s room, Charlie just got worse, sniffing the air and hovering protectively over Owen’s shoulder. But hindsight’s twenty out of twenty, Owen supposes, because in that moment, nothing had seemed amiss to him.)

They step into their classroom and, almost immediately, Charlie freezes in place, his limbs becoming rigid and an expression of barely masked horror spilling across his face, the change as drastic as if someone had poured paint over his head. It’s only then that Owen glances back, concern etched across his features. Charlie’s always been shorter than Owen, but at that moment, he looks like he wants nothing more than to grow to a humongous size and swallow something whole (Charlie doesn’t seem angry, though. He just seems scared). Honestly, Owen is quite put off.

“…Mate, you good?” He asks, brow furrowed in a mix of confusion and worry. Charlie nods a little too quickly, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he swallows, his complexion having turned pale and sickly-looking. Owen follows the gaze of his eyes as they trace across the room, to a big bulldog that, for whatever odd reason, is sitting underneath the teacher’s desk.

It has jowls that rival Winston Churchill, and a glare to match. Its ears stick straight up from its head, triangle-shaped and alert, teeth sticking up from its underbite onto its upper lip. Its fur is matted, a dusty brown color, and Owen can’t help but wonder if it’s well cared for, whoever it belongs to. Also, last he checked, it’s a rule that dogs of any kind are strictly not allowed on school property, so he’s slightly apprehensive as to what one is doing here right now.

If he didn’t know better, Owen would swear it’s staring straight at him.

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Oh, uh, shit- I’m fine, just- just a little scared of dogs,” Charlie mutters, the obvious lie grating and rough in Owen’s mind, flurries of worry and possibilities floating across Owen’s mind in a familiar and foggy blizzard. He’s brought back to himself by Charlie gesturing towards the animal under the desk with a jut of his chin. “Let’s just find our seats and stay far, far away from it.”

Owen nods, though to be honest, he doesn’t really understand what the big deal was. As far as he can tell, it is just a neglected, grumpy-looking bulldog that has no reason to be there- and sad and unsettling as that is, he honestly doesn’t understand why Charlie is acting so skittish. That is Owen’s first mistake.

Three minutes later, after he and Charlie have found their seats (right next to each other, by some stroke of luck, and Owen is immediately so relieved that he feels like he could cry) the bell rings and their teacher still hasn’t arrived. The bulldog is still sitting menacingly under the desk, and Owen’s starting to get a little unnerved, as the beast is definitely staring at him- its gaze hasn’t slid from his face the entire time he’s been in the room. Charlie is still acting really jumpy, like, oddly so, and the rest of the class are impatiently waiting, annoyed whispers passing between friends and desk neighbors.

Finally, after several minutes have passed, the door swings open, and a young woman walks in. Her woven and plaited hair is the color of spun silk, a blonde so yellow Owen thinks there’s no way it can be her natural hair color, with skin as pale and freckled as a smoothed river stone. Her lips are warm and pink-tinged, curled up in a seductive smile, with piercing blue-gray eyes that seem to hold secrets deep within. She wears a bright pink dress that looks almost like a ballroom gown, with white and lighter pink accents at the waist, neck, and cuffs, and she seems to slither as she walks.

The teacher has arrived, but she is like no teacher Owen had ever seen. Not in a good way, either- just looking at her causes the skin on the back of his neck to prick up and crawl uncomfortably, and with a glance over at Charlie, Owen can tell he feels the same.

“Greetings, class!” She spreads her arms around her, motioning like she’s hugging all the class, voice like frozen honey against a backdrop of fluorescent lights.

(Owen notices with a slight spike of apprehension the way her smile seems to be just a bit too wide, her eyes are far too blank, staring ahead with a kind of manufactured happiness that Owen sees far too often on his own face. The difference is, however, that on her face, it looks almost sinister.)

“My name is Miss Pemberton,” the woman continues, either oblivious to or ignoring Owen and Charlie’s discomfort, “but you all can call me Madeleine. I’m so excited to get to know every single one of you this year!” She goes off on the classic teacher spiel, the one that never gets more true regardless of how many years it’s repeated, and Owen and Charlie exchange a knowing glance and a snicker- at least this part of the strange woman’s appearance is something they can both agree is somewhat normal.

The rest of the day passes in a dull, stretching swathe of rules and policies, how to read schedules, et cetera, et cetera, as first days back at school often do. When the bell rings for recess, it’s a welcome sound, and Owen can’t wait to get out onto the field, to lay in the grass and banter back and forth with Charlie.

But just as he’s pulling back on his sweater, the sharp and honeyed voice sounds from across the room. “Owen, dear?”

(Her voice sounds wrong when she says his name, there’s something underlying it- a quiet, almost imperceptible sound of static, and Owen can feel his arms erupt in bumping bouts of gooseflesh.)

“Yeah?” He answers, turning back to face Miss Pemberton.

“Why don’t you stay in for a little bit, honey.” It’s not a question, and again, there’s something off about her voice, it’s too flat and lilting- it sounds like a snake’s approximation of what a human sounds like, a good attempt tainted by venom and fangs. Owen begins to feel uneasy, the feeling catching up with him even more than before. The bulldog is still staring at him, beady and unblinking eyes trained on his own.

Charlie speaks before he can respond, his eyes wide and a glaring clarity that Owen doesn’t understand spreading across his face. “Um, no, actually, I don’t think he will be staying in- come on, dude, let’s go-”

Charlie’s hand tightens around Owen’s wrist, and he begins to pull him out of the room. Owen goes willingly, his heart rabbiting illogically, and oh god, he is scared and he doesn’t know why-

“Oh… but I insist,” Madeleine says, her teeth too white, eyes too blank, pupils so small all Owen can see are her blue-gray irises, pulling him in, closer, closer-

Until Charlie’s grip on his wrist jolts him back to reality.

“Uh, just give us a second- I’ll be right with you.” Owen shoots her his best ‘I’m a star student, how could I lie to you’ smile and lets Charlie pull him out into the hallway, where the shorter boy grabs his shoulders and looks him dead in the eyes, more serious than Owen’s ever seen him.

“Owen, listen to me. I am going to give you something, and you are going to go back into that room and deal with… that. I will be right here. I promise.”

“Char- why-” Owen is so confused, he has no clue what’s going on.

“I can’t help you with this,” Charlie mutters, face downcast. “I literally can’t fucking help you with this- shit, Owen, I’m so sorry. But this was going to happen at some point or another- your scent is just getting too strong, there was nothing I could do anymore-”

“My scent? Charlie, what the heck are you talking about?” It has to be another one of Charlie’s jokes, a bit that’ll have them both in tears with laughter when it reaches its end. But for once, Owen can’t see a trace of mirth in Charlie’s eyes; as he searches desperately, he cannot find a single hint that he is joking. Charlie doesn’t say anything, only stares at him with a kind of deeply sincere anger- it’s not directed at him, though, that much he can tell.

And so Owen takes a deep, shaky breath, and nods. He doesn’t know what he’s agreeing to, has no idea what Charlie’s asking him to do. All he knows is that, standing right in front of him, is the only person in the world who he trusts, he would do anything for him.

“Okay. Take this.” Charlie reaches into his backpack and pulls out a moldy, bruised orange, and before Owen can protest, he presses it into the other’s palm.

“Charlie, what the heck?” Owen’s laughing now, the utter ridiculousness of this situation crashing down on him. He assumes that he was wrong, that it is a bit, but when he looks down, Charlie’s eyes are still devoid of any silliness.

“Look, I know it’s really fucking weird,” Charlie mutters. “Definitely wouldn’t be my choice, but that’s what X said to give you, and even if it’s a shitty orange, who the fuck am I to argue…”

Owen blinks, completely lost.

“Right, fuck, sorry. Just… take the orange. You’re a fucking smart kid, dude. You’ll know what to do.” Charlie states the words with a fabricated confidence, and Owen can’t help but think it feels like he’s trying to convince himself as well as Owen.

And then, with a salute, Owen’s best friend pushes him forward, back into the room, with nothing but a moldy orange clutched in his sweating hands.

#owengejuicetv #owenjuicetv #ojtv #owengejuice #owen #charlie slimecicle #slimecicle #slmccl #mcytblr #AUTHOR FELIX STRIKES AGAIN #across the great divide #<- what the fic will be tagged as in the future #btw this will be on AO3 as well i'll probs put it up on there tmr #robert aeor high will continue i promise #i just had the idea for this and HAD to write it you know how it is #pirates smp #scurvyblr

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meta-squash · 4 months

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This is a meta/rant/ramble/whatever that I'm sure has been written a billion times over the years, hell I even wrote a (in retrospect, terrible) fic about it when I first joined the Torchwood fandom a billion years ago. But I'm gonna meta anyway because why not.

Last week I watched all the Owen-centric episodes of Torchwood, and recently I've just been watching the other ones at random. Tonight I rewatched Meat and I always forget how pissed off I get at Gwen's "You all think it's cold and lonely" monologue.

But! I think it's a fascinatingly consistent character flaw.

Gwen is portrayed as the "heart" of Torchwood. Not as in the centre, but as in the empathetic/sympathetic, emotional part of it. Now, I have multiple issues with this framing of her role and framing of the character. But for now I'll just talk about this specific character flaw.

For all Gwen's heart and sympathy and humanity and whatever, she has a really hard time picking up on her coworkers' misery, or being even remotely empathetic toward them at the level she is with civilian victims or whatever regular people she has to deal with.

It first arises in Countrycide with her "who did you last snog" game, but in that case everyone takes some of the blame because they all forgot about Ianto's recent loss of Lisa.

She's totally oblivious to Owen's love affair with Diane and then his all-consuming grief after she leaves and the "erratic behaviour" it causes, and when Tosh tells her that Owen and Diane had a "thing", she's totally surprised. And her reaction is to bring up her own affair with Owen and call him a wanker.

And then there's Tosh again with the loss of Tommy in To The Last Man. In both cases when Tosh lost lovers, Gwen was there for the event.

And then Gwen has this monologue, accusing the rest of her coworkers of thinking "it's cold and lonely out there" but insisting that it's different for her because she has Rhys. It feels so right, character-wise, but also so infuriating. Because the entire point of the rest of the Torchwood team is that they know it's not cold and lonely out there, because at one point in time for them it really, really wasn't. They desperately want to believe that it isn't cold and lonely. Only, every one of them except Gwen is saddled with multiple devastating losses. They're not just cynical lonely people for no reason. All of them have loved deeply and yet every time they do, they end up losing the person they love. And yet they somehow manage to piece themselves back together and carry on.

Gwen never has to do that. At least, not permanently (until the loss of Tosh and Owen).

And I'm always so fascinated by this bizarrely blinkered part of her character, because Jack spends so much time encouraging her humanity, and she is generally framed to be the empathetic/emotional one about the various victims or civilians they encounter (another framing I have thoughts on but not now). And yet she's totally blind and even callous when it comes to her coworkers, even when it's extremely obvious like Ianto's grief over Lisa or Owen's over Diane.

When I rewatch Torchwood I can never tell if this characterisation of emotional ignorance (wilful or not) is a trait that's established as an original part of Gwen's character or not. I can't tell if it's something that is actively acknowledged in the writers room as a part of her personality, or if it's just something the various writers have noticed.

But it is just so interesting to me because she was there for the deaths of multiple lovers of the Torchwood team, she witnessed their loss firsthand (Owen and Diane aside) so she's aware that they've felt this love, these deep emotional connections, these losses and griefs, and yet she still somehow believes that they just cynically think it's cold and lonely. She's a witness to their traumas but she can't empathise with it, she doesn't seem to recognise it or acknowledge it once the actual event has passed.

Doing this rewatch is really interesting and I have a lot of thoughts.

#squash rambles #torchwood #torchwood meta

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reeeallygood · 1 day

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911 Lone Star Rewatch: 3x02

Onward and upward people! Crazy that this arc lasts for 4 episodes! Though, I guess that's fairly normal for these opener arcs.

And here we go! Circling back to the boy under the ice. I have to say... I don't think I know what asthma is exactly. Because why can't the little boy go outside and play?? Is that a thing that kids with really bad asthma can't do unsupervised? Or is it because of the cold? Because isn't the inhaler supposed to be the thing that helps. So in my head he'd be okay as long as he has it with him.

So Sadie is so casual about the bleeding guy on Owen's floor when she first walks in, which at the time just makes him seem like a person who can roll with the punches. But in hindsight.... I think she might have just have been totally down for a fellow psycho. "That was awful" she says about cauterizing that guy's wound when she literally cut off her husbands head.

"You 126 boys are really something" "Not just the boys" HELL YEAH. PUT SOME RESPECT ON MARJAN'S NAME.

Man I bet TK was so cool in his NYFD gear doing ice rescues in central park.

You know what. I'm not afraid to say it. If Owen has zero fans, I am dead. I enjoy him thoroughly! I like watching his plotlines, even if he is sometimes the most annoying man in the world. Robe Lowe charms me. And, what can I say, I love a complex character with trauma.

I'm really glad we get a couple of Paul centric storylines this season that don't center on transphobia--or transphobia adjacent--plotlines. Like everything with Lindsey in the ice storm! And all the heart stuff later. But he is really shines in these parts with Lindsey.

OKAY LISTEN. These commercial cuts! And episode ends! If I had been watching season 3 in real time, I would have been homicidal. I don't know why I never really thought about this before.

Oh man, I can't wait for TK to get injured this next season. It's just so juicy every time.

I absolutely love that Judd respects Grace on a professional level. Which seems like it should be the bare minimum... but unfortunately...

The fact that you can see the water freezing on them like almost immediately is terrifying. I've been in some extremely cold conditions before. And I do not envy Paul and Lindsey.

TK is just so obviously hypothermic in the back of that car. Like I get they were distracted by the little boy, but TK is soaking wet and shaking!!!!! Come on people!!!!

Off he goes hypothermic.

Like I get that the point is to explain it to the general audience, but in Lindsey's case I'm surprised that she is so shocked about Paul telling her to strip down. Because I feel like 'get naked' is always the number one rule to avoid freezing to death.

"Because you're an excellent observer of your fellow man" is easily in my top 5 favorite Judd lines.

TK being so polite when he's all naked and shivering, saying 'no thanks' to the blankets. Also him agreeing to go with him when they explain what is happening to him. He's definitely a good patient. Unlike some people.... *cough* Carlos *cough*.

Paul listing putting aioli in a sandwich without asking as something that pisses him off. He was valid for that.

"Marjan she's my ride or die" SHE IS!

Judd gives Paul his jacket!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could write sonnets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PEAK BROTHERHOOD. PEAK.

And of course Judd going to bring Grace tea, ginger chews, and cough drops. He's doing the most this episode.

Wow I didn't even realize that Carlos hasn't been around for the whole episode! He's only in these last couple minutes! That's weird to think about because I always think of Carlos as being heavily featured in these episodes.

Owen shenanigans are still shenanigan-ing. The twist with the guy he rescued is the coyote is pretty great though.

These cliffhangers are so insane. Every time. Another resounding 10/10. Love this start to the season so much. Everyone's storylines are great.

#911 lone star #911 lone star rewatch 2024

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miggydiaz · 8 months

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Happy nice ask day! Here's some lone star questions for you!

Suprise, Tim Minear has put you in charge of LS! (In a perfect world where everyone gets paid a fair wage for their work.) What's next for Tarlos besides the Gabriel of it all?

If you could bring one past character back, dead or alive, who would it be and why?

You get to do a crossover with *any* other show, past or present, what show would it be?

Pick a special episode: Valentines day ep, Halloween ep, Christmas ep, musical ep, animated ep, AU ep (like Mateo's sitcom dream)

You get to delete one thing from the show's history without messing anything up, what do you get rid of?

Pick a celebrity guest star. What would their role be?

Firefighter TK or paramedic TK?

For Carlos: Officer Reyes, Ranger Reyes, or something completely different non law enforcement

Flashback episode for TK's life in NYC (pre Alex), or a flashback episode of young Carlos growing up on the ranch (including his friendship with Iris)

A (new) work partner for Carlos or a new recruit at the firehouse?

Buttercup or Lou II?

TK's cousins or Carlos' sisters?

Andrea calling TK mijo or Owen calling Carlos son?

Reyes-Strand or Strand-Reyes?

If/when you've answered all of these, pass them on to others in the fandom, let's see everyone's answers!

Oh my god, I love these! Thanks for sending it to me @sugdenlovesdingle!

1. On one hand, I just want them to be happy and soft because they deserve it. On the other hand, I know that doesn’t make for compelling TV. So in addition to the Gabriel thing, I’d probably have Carlos develop an addiction of his own. Maybe it’s like, stimulants because he’s putting so much time and effort into finding who killed his father. But TK is in denial for the longest time because Carlos would never do that, and once he realizes that he’s wrong, it puts TK’s own recovery to the test getting Carlos the help he needs, but he pulls through and gets Carlos on the path to recovery as well. I know, I’m terrible, I’m sorry.

2. Either Julius to make Tommy’s life with Trevor very complicated, or Billy because I can’t help it, I love Billy. Or Alex trying to win TK back, just so I can watch Carlos could punch him out.

3. If it wasn’t for the identical cousin storyline Mateo had, I thought it would’ve been absolutely hilarious if they did House crossover and Owen’s other ex-wife was Lisa Cuddy, also played by Lisa Edelstein. But since they already did this kind of with Mateo, I’m going to be boring and say another 911 crossover would be cool. More of TK clocking Buck from a mile away and Eddie conveniently entering the scene immediately after, please and thanks, because that was so funny.

4. A Halloween episode for sure. I hate to say anything nice ever about Riverdale, but I loved the “3 different vignettes in one” episodes they’d do, especially the one in season 2. I think it would be REALLY cool to do something like that, where we have one story with Carlos investigating Gabriel’s murder solo and things get creepy, and then another story of the 126 showing up to a call except it’s to an abandoned asylum or something and they find out no one actually called (it’s like a ghost call), and then a third story of maybe Grace and the Wyatt and Charlie having a Halloween night in but it goes very “The Strangers” on them and someone is trying to break into their house but it’s really just like Judd’s daddy or someone totally innocuous.

5. A part of me wants to say the absolute blatant rip off of the Gabby Petito case, but I love Marjan centric episodes and there are not enough of them. So uh… probably the Owen stalker storyline. I don’t need more of Rob Lowe stroking his own ego on my screen.

6. Either Jensen Ackles or Timothy Olyphant as the new like, lead Texas Ranger. Basically taking over Gabriel’s position. And he would either a) be really keen on working with Carlos to help solve the murder because he has history with Gabriel or b) is behind the murder of Gabriel. Or both!

7. Ugh, this is so hard. I love both! I think he’s happier as a paramedic, but I wish he’d have more to do than drop the “BP is whatever over whatever, Cap!” line. Plus, I miss the little rivalry between him and Carlos when TK was AFD. I think I like him better as a firefighter, but I’m good with either.

8. REYES, TEXAS RANGER. I really wanted Detective Reyes, but I totally respect Carlos’s want to save people rather than figure out the case after the damage has been done. That being said, I kind of have a sneaking suspicion that a fellow ranger did Gabriel in, and I feel like Carlos will both NEED to get into the rangers to figure that piece out, and will WANT to next season to honor his father. Also, Team Carlos in a Cowboy Hat.

9. A Carlos flashback if I had to pick. IDK, I feel like TK has a lot of episodes that kind of center his trauma, so we know a LOT about TK, and less about Carlos. So it’d be nice to see more of his story, pre-TK.

10. A new partner for Carlos. You know… because he becomes a ranger… bonus if it causes a little bit of tension between him and TK like Cooper did! (I like the angst, I can’t help it)

11. Lou II! I love reptiles and TK being a lizard boy and Carlos being sketched out by them… all of it is adorable.

12. I’m gonna say Carlos’s sisters, just because I don’t think we’ll see much of TK’s cousins going forward unless Sydney decides to come after Owen for assisted suicide. Which would not surprise me in the least.

13. Andrea calling TK mijo. I just love it so much!

14. Reyes-Strand. I like the flow of Tyler Kennedy Reyes-Strand and Carlos Tomas Reyes-Strand better than Strand-Reyes.

#911 ls asks #this was really fun!#thank you for tagging me!

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weewoobrainrot · 2 years

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what i want from season 4 of 911 lone star:

*note this is before 3×17 aired*

- carlos angst/whump: basically carlos in the near death situation rather than tk for once: gimme a good old fashioned carlos gets shot while on duty and tk is beside himself scene PLEASE

- detective carlos: or at least more of carlos being a character rather than tk's cop boyfriend (we're starting to see this at the end of season 3, but i hope they keep it up)

- mateo/nancy development: i mean these guys are adorable??? mateo being a short king and nancy being a badass queen, honestly power couple

- more plots involving the 126 characters personal lives: like gimme more paul-centric episodes. gimme a mateo backstory rn. give marjan more screen time. GIVE MATEO A BACKSTORY!!!!

- less overdramatic owen plots: look maybe it's just me, but i'm not a huge owen fan, and this season didn't do him much favours for me. his plot with catherine had so much potential and then he just....ruined it 😭😭 idk man he's been annoying me so much i can't explain it

- more andrea reyes: i don't need to explain this, she's a queen, she's an icon and she is the moment

- also just more of carlos's family in general: like this ties into giving carlos a life outside of tk and being a cop. introduce tía lucy and more family, especially if tk and carlos get engaged

- husband's tk and carlos, but while they're still engaged: basically calling each other husband while still being engaged, and just doing married couple things

- reyes-strand family: maybe end out the season with tk and carlos talking about kids??? adopting and what not :))))

- wyatt being a big brother: look, i actually really like wyatt and i'm really glad he didn't cause any real issues with grace and judd's marriage because he's so sweet. but imagine him as a big bro??? idk i think it'd be cute. plus we get the ryder family being adorable, and that's always welcome

- another 126/118 crossover: idk how they'll do it. maybe they won't have a disaster that brings them to la/texas. like maybe eddie is going to texas with chris and buck tags along because why not and they decide to stop by and say hello to the 126 when disaster strikes??? who knows but whatever it is i need a full on crossover

- and, finally, a good old fashioned natural disaster: look, they're running out of them at this stage, but also a solar storm happened in the first season so anything is possible

#these are all a need #but i'm honestly just hoping for at least one of these #if any of these happen #i'll cry #omfg #anyway #911 lone star #tk strand #carlos reyes #owen strand #judd ryder #grace ryder #tommy vega #nancy gillian #paul strickland #marjan marwani #mateo chavez #the 126 #126 firefam

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chaotictarlos · 2 years

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@ronensass sent me a song and while I was driving to campus the other day an idea sparked for it. It's angsty, of course, and Carlos Centric! Let me know what you think!

In the past, Carlos would wake up early on Sunday mornings because it was TK’s favorite day. They almost always had Sundays together - even if they didn’t have the full day they would at least have the mornings - and they tried to make the most of it. Carlos would usually be the first one up and after admiring his boyfriend, he’d make his way to the kitchen where he would spend time making pancakes and brewing up coffee.

The smell of breakfast would wake TK up and he would wander into the kitchen, hair messy and sleep still on his face and wrap his arms around Carlos from behind. There would be mumbled good mornings from TK as he pressed into Carlos’ shoulder. Carlos would turn in his arms and whisper good morning before pressing a kiss to Tk’s lips and a mug of coffee into his hand, urging him to sit at the bar as he finished getting breakfast ready.

It was always a time when they could just be together and enjoy being in love. Even when the townhouse burned down and they had to move in with Owen for a while, they still found ways to make their Sundays special to them. They might have looked different, but they were still filled with love and taking time to be together. It was the one little bit of normalcy they had when everything went up in flames.

That was before.

Before his world came crashing down around him. Before TK had said things that hurt him deeply. Before TK had freaked out and ran. Before TK had stopped answering his texts and avoiding his calls. Before they went from being together to apart.

Before Carlos was left standing in the middle of the loft that he bought them to make it a home.

Now, Sundays were just another reminder of what he didn’t have anymore. Now, Carlos slept in, pulling the blanket over his head when the sun tried to wake him. He’d curl up tighter, squeezing his eyes shut and willing sleep to take him so that he wouldn’t have to face the reality that he was alone, again, in the bed that was too big for him and should have another sleeping body in it.

The breakup hit Carlos hard. One of the reasons why Carlos struggled with dating was because he poured all of himself into a relationship. He knew that it could be overwhelming at times, that the other person tended to get scared off but when Carlos loved he loved completely. He didn’t want the person he was with to have any doubts about what he was feeling.

It meant that more often than not, he scared away the person that he was with. He would take a step too far, say how he was feeling too soon, or make some gesture that came across as too much. He had worked hard not to do that with TK - especially after finding out about his past relationship and how it ended - but even though he tried, he had fucked up again. He had gone too far, pushed for too much, assumed that TK was in the same place as him and wouldn’t care if Carlos went ahead and got the loft. Carlos knew that he should have talked to TK first, and came up with a plan that was sensitive to TK's debt and how he couldn’t afford to buy the place, but he had been so excited to start a new chapter of their lives together and he wanted to do it in a place they both loved. He hadn’t thought about anything but how happy they could be in the loft when he made an offer and put both of their names on the deed. He had just wanted a place with TK to be alone and not leave under the roof of someone else's house.

He had never imagined that TK would bulk, would take offense, and walk out. He never thought TK would run again after everything they had been through together. He thought they were solid, that they were good, that they were past running from each other.

That’s what he got for thinking, though.

A broken heart and an empty home that didn’t feel like home without TK.

#t's wip wednesday #wip wednesday #tarlos wip #i wonder how many fics i can write about the breakup era #tk strand #carlos reyes #tk strand x carlos reyes #tarlos

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lovecolibri · 1 year

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SaL anon here friend, hoping you had a long, relaxing, holiday weekend!! Not a big Thanksgiving person myself, but I do like sleeping in. So tell me, should i start watching The Rookie, since it's a long wait after the mid season finale. Speaking of which, I'm mentally preparing for tomorrow, by which I mean bracing myself for some nonsense cliffhanger since they've literally set nothing up for any of the characters. Maybe the previews will change my mind, at least there's an actual fire??

Hello friend! We still had some of my mom's family in town from the wedding so that made Thanksgiving nice. I'm a big fan of food (especially the kind that results in leftovers), and lazy days relaxing and being cozy so that's always nice. We had my niece again though for almost a week and whooo boy does she tire me out. I also cannot get rid of this cough so I tried to do as little as possible, and mostly binged tv while working on a new crochet craft my office mate requested for a Christmas gift for her daughter and watching my room fall even further into disarray and disaster. We also tore out our living room carpet. Needless to say I do not feel rested and ready to go back into the office tomorrow! But I did get to have several nights of staying up late and sleeping in so that's always a plus for my night person brain.

As for The Rookie, it's good! Being cop-centric it's naturally a lot of copaganda, and a lot more "finding bad people doing bad things and chasing them down" and less of the "helpful" side of first responding we see with 911, but it does have a more hopeful bent than I was expecting, and quite a few moments of "they're not bad people just regular people who made a bad choice/had bad options". I was also prepared for Owen Strand levels of "main character screentime/storylines in what should be an ensemble show" syndrome with Nathan Fillion's character but it hasn't been too bad so far. Lots of female characters and so far I've enjoyed all of them. I'm bored with Tim's current LI because I'm already on the Lucy/Tim bandwagon, but I like the character and think she's interesting and have enjoyed her scenes (QUITE refreshing), and Nolan's LI storylines are also boring to me personally like Owen's were because I just find his love life to be the least interesting thing about him and prefer his screentime when it's looped in with the police stuff because it includes more of the main characters that way. That being said, I did like his LI's so far (almost done with season 2) and they were both involved enough in the things close to his job that they were able to be involved in main storylines going on. It's been enjoyable so far! It definitely hasn't struck the same chord as early 911 did since it's naturally a little darker in nature just due to the focus of the job (being called for crimes/solving crimes vs being called for rescue), and I haven't bonded to any of the characters as much as I did with the firefam, but I do really like all of the ensemble characters. Also it's been nice seeing threads being teased and storylines leading places and trauma being addressed right away instead of being forgotten about immediately and *maybe* cropping up later if we're lucky.

Speaking of all that mess, it's interesting that from what I can see, most of the buzz around 911 right now is about what is coming in the spring. Since the show has close out Hen's arc, and we know Buck's is dragging out for awhile and Madney's stuff has happened mostly off screen or been cut entirely, what are we even looking forward to for the finale? I said in the tags on another post that at least with s5 we were hoping for a Chim and/or Maddie cameo or at least phone conversation we got to see one side of (robbed), the BT breakup (ROBBED), and Eddie's breakdown that had been teased all season (partially robbed but at least the cliffhanger didn't come out of nowhere). But this season? Pretty much ANYTHING is going to feel like it came out of nowhere unless it's the start of the Buck breakdown because nothing else has been happening consistently enough to make sense. And even a Buck breakdown is a little out of the blue since he's been excited about the sperm donor thing since his talk with Hen and the firefam finding out was treated as a joke and there was zero follow-up in 6x08, and zero follow up on the "couch" thing OR Lev's death since those happened at the start of the season. Finding an issue with his sperm or issues with the couple COULD be something but given that it looks like the spring will have an opening disaster it's likely there won't be tons of follow-up until 6x12 and if we're lucky and get hurt Buck in the spring opening, then things *should* be about that and not the follow-up on the sperm thing anyway soooo 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

There's just like....NO direction for this season. Things are happening but having no impact, even when the potential for impact is RIGHT THERE, and instead of things being sprinkled into every episode it's like, ONE episode about a thing and then nothing for weeks. Hen's arc this season has been good, but with SEVEN main characters, you can't have only ONE of them having a clear direction their story is moving across NINE episodes. I guess we'll see tomorrow but on the bright side, as you said at least there's an actual fire AND we get the firefam in yellow wildfire turnouts with the added bonus of no Lone Star filter! Silver lining.

#my sweet nonnie friends #sleeping at last anon #911 #911 spoilers #firefam #the rookie #it's no early 911 but i'm definitely having a good time with it #OH!! but hopefully you saw in my other posts and nolan and lucy start the show together #which after ONLY seeing tim/lucy stuff was a SHOCK i tell you #but i think they handled it well and like 911 they are dramatic but it doesn't feel like they dial to 11 every time like grey's or whatever #not quite comfort show need to rewatch all the episodes still get chills at certain parts 911 level show #for me personally #but a good time and some funny moments and the occasional heartwarming or gut punching moments #i'd say give it a shot over hiatus! it'll be something to do at least!#also they know how to do cliffhangers!

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caitiewhoniverse · 9 months

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Torchwood: Forgotten Lives

INFO - Big finish productions torchwood 1.3 , average goodreads rating 3.71. Length : 1:06:03

My rating - 2.5/5

This review may come across as slightly biased as I have never been the biggest fan of Gwen, through seasons 1-3 I found her slightly unbearable at times especially during her affair with Owen and treatment of Rhys, (I also try very hard to forget about whatever it was her and Jack did or didn't have going on). But then again, I have always been pro-Janto. However, I believe her character really picked up in season 4 'miracle day' when she finally set her priorities straight, and showed just how much she was willing to do and go through for her family. Forgotten Lives was a very Gwen-centric piece of media, other characters including Rhys Williams (husband) and Jack Harkness (although in a different body so not voiced by Barrowman) made an appearance throughout the story. The story was pretty easy to follow and a solid piece of cannon media, although at times I felt myself zoning out and becoming pretty bored, the ending was very hard for me to understand and I found myself having to replay it multiple times. Like what happened to Jack, did he stay an old man or? The thing I did however love about this story is how Gwen's character is written so perfectly, being this story is set after miracle day, and Gwen putting her daughter and husband above her job really made me become more fond of her character. From the beginning it's said how Jack spoke of Ianto in the nursing home, which to me made me sad as a story set after COE Ianto would of passed, so Jack still remembering Ianto is beautiful and the fact he tells stories of him shows how much Ianto really meant to Harkness as he wasn't just another 'partner'. I do know this story is written post miracle, however, it would of made the adventure a lot more entertaining if we saw some more of the OG Torchwood team in action. As a final point to sum up my review, I believe at the end Rhys was extremely out of character, because in what universe would RHYS be the one suggesting that he and Gwen going back to Torchwood? For me Rhys has always read off as a pretty ANTI-torchwood guy, so for him to suggest them going back, when they have a daughter now as well? I could never see Rhys thinking it let alone saying it. This adventure did link back to the committee but other then that it felt more Meh to me.

#torchwood #gwen cooper #rhys williams #captain jack harkness #big finish #whoniverse #doctor who

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boasamishipper · 2 years

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all the EVEN numbers for the writing ask! Aha!

2. Anything that you’d like to write but feel like you’re unable to?

i'd love to be able to write smut, but i'm not very good at it - it always feels like pulling teeth. i'd also love to sit down and finish my robisanya time loop fic, but it is Very Complicated and i have to be in a very specific once in a blue moon mindframe before adding onto it.

4. Do you have any OCs? Do you have a story for them?

i sure do! my ocs for my forever in progress original novel are chloe bolden and devi chakrabarti, two foster sisters who audition for a role in their favorite television show, elementary endangerment - only to find out that the show is Very Much Real and Very Much Dangerous. my latest fanfic ocs are as follows:

The West Hambos (Luka Visnjic, Natan Roubeni, Gunnar Magnusson, Rob McClare, Billy Schofield, Will Taylor, Mario Bonucci) - In The Light You Will Find The Road series (Ted Lasso, Nate-centric)

Grace Obisanya Adeyemi, Ben Adeyemi, Richmond 'Richie' Adeyemi, Julia Rojas, Javi Rojas, Gabi Rojas, Jandro Rojas, Olivia Alexander, Nina Reynolds-Cabrera, John Oluransi, Luisa Ortega - You've Got Bantr series (Ted Lasso, Sam/Dani-centric)

Jess, Bill and Taylor Kazansky - Ice's family who were co-invented by @academicgangster and appear / are mentioned in many of my top gun fanfics

Kelly Serrano, Laura Evans, and David Bennett - Billy Tyson's ex-wives and ex-boyfriend who are mentioned in my and @lilalbatross's Austin Alone series (9-1-1 Lone Star, Billy/Owen-centric)

6. What’s your ratio for rating your works?

idk how that works but out of the 71 stories i have on ao3, the majority are either Teen And Up Audiences or General Audiences.

8. How slow is a slow burn?

my slow burns can be Pretty Damn Slow, as my mutuals can no doubt attest. from a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being 'they fuck/kiss/get together right away' and 10 being 'they don't even learn each other's names until 200k in', i'm probably around a 4, maybe a 5?

10. Top three favourite fic tropes.

time loops, 'there was only one bed' + all offshoots, and A Metric Fuckload of Mutual Pining.

12. If you write in more than one language, what’s the difference?

i only write in english, so n/a,

14. Write and share the first sentence of a new fic. Just that.

Dani is going to propose. He swears.

16. Are one-shots really underrated?

i mean, i've never heard anyone say so, but there's definitely something nice about keeping a story short and to the point.

18. First, second, or third person?

third person. sometimes second person - i don't mind reading it but i don't like writing it - and No Thank You to first person.

20. Do you work on a single project or many at the same time? How does that work for you?

i don't know how to write if i'm not working on at least three projects at once lmao. it's kind of nice actually because if i hit writer's block on one project and am feeling shitty about myself / my writing, i can just hop onto a new project and vibe there for a while. instant serotonin. also instant stress because more often than not, i'll be midway through one project, get the idea for another, shift gears to solely that project for a few months, then get an idea for another.... You See Where This Is Going. rip to all my abandoned wips. on hiatus but never forgotten.

22. What is it about watching the same two idiots falling in love over and over again?

That's The Good Kush. the writing/reading/watching equivalent of comfort food and comfy sweatpants.

24. Thoughts on flashbacks/flashforwards.

@toseehowthestoryends's fic Freeze On The Stones is the be-all and end-all when it comes to masterfully employing flashbacks in fic, imho. i've employed flashbacks from time to time in my works, but very sparingly - i prefer to work within the present.

26. What would you describe as OOC?

....i guess anything a character does that is out of the ordinary?? it really depends on who i'm writing. iceman kazansky will do and say things that sam obisanya never would.

28. Any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing?

outline outline outline!! cannot tell you how much easier my writing has gone for me since i started working with outlines. outlines don't really make me stick to projects any better - that's on my ADD - but they do make the actual writing process much smoother.

30. Describe a fic that almost happened, but then it didn’t.

god, so many. most recent one that comes to mind is a benji/ilsa fic i was considering writing for Some Time, but it never got off the ground for me. (magic conch voice) Maybe Someday.

32. Do you have a word/expression that you always use in your writing?

Literally So Many. i always throw around the same metaphors and expressions, and my fics almost always have Terrible Puns Within and song lyrics for titles. i still crack up thinking about the time i thought i was So Clever writing @academicgangster a fic for an exchange without telling her, and she figured out i was the anon author literally from the very first line because of a pun i wrote. i am nothing if not predictable lmao.

34. Do you write to improve? Or is that not a concern for you?

i write because i like to. improvement happens along the way. like, my writing today is much better than my writing in 2019, but i wasn't out there writing - say - my top gun / mcu crossover fix it fic because i thought it'd make me a better writer or anything; i just liked the idea and went for it.

36. How do you come up with fic titles? What’s the one you’re most proud of?

9 times out of 10, my fic titles are song lyrics, lines from poems, or Very Bad Puns. my most favorite fic title i ever came up with is You Had Me At Aloe, for my top gun 2 specfic where fritz accidentally tells ice he looks like a succulent (and other things occur as well).

38. “This never happened” fix-it fics or “this happened but” fix-it fics?

Why Not Both (but not at the same time).

40. Write a 9-word fic.

"Maybe someday we'll meet again, and things'll be different."

#thanks for asking!#beautiful mutuals #icemankazansky #thanks for these carly they were fun!!#and thank u for the gif <33

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jadelotusflower · 3 years

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It’s Cold in that Fridge: The Case of Nakari Kelen

Since The Case of Mara Jade has been doing the rounds again, I’ve finally gone back to this post that has been sitting in my drafts for literally years. So let’s honour this absolute badass who deserved better:

Once upon a time, the Star Wars universe was but six films (and a tv series) in the story of the Skywalker family. But beyond George Lucas’ story was an absolute boatload of books, comics, games, and other materials that made up the Expanded Universe. When Disney purchased Lucasfilm and the rights to the Star Wars saga, everything in this universe was decanonised and deemed “Legends” - some aspects of this universe were retained or re-purposed, others sit in Disney’s figurative vault and will likely never see the light of day (and seeing how the ST turned out, maybe that’s for the best).

But this transition between Legends canon and Disney canon was not so simple, because the nature of publishing meant that there were novels approved during the time of Legends canon that would be released in the time of Disney canon. In particular, there had been the planned trilogy “Empire and Rebellion”, set between A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back, with each novel from the perspective of one of The Big Three.

Razor’s Edge (Leia) and Honor Among Thieves (Han) were released prior to the Great Canon Split of 2014. But while the Luke-centric novel had been planned, it was not due to be released until well after the Split. So Heir to the Jedi (so called as an homage to the Legends progenitor Heir to the Empire) became one of the first books of the Disney canon.

What does this background have to do with Nakari Kelen? Perhaps nothing, but I do wonder how the writing process was affected by the shift from Legends to Disney - was the novel a relic of the old EU with any reference the LFL storygroup didn’t like excised during editing, or was it a trendsetter for the new EU, a Sign of Things to Come?

The most salient point being, of course, that Nakari Kelen - like so many love interests before her - was not allowed to go along her merry way at the conclusion of the novel, but was shoved into the fridge.

If there was one constant of the Legends EU, it was that Luke Skywalker’s love interests couldn’t catch a break. Mara Jade naturally lasted the longest relationship-wise, with almost twenty years of marriage to Luke before some bright spark decided she had to go (as per the aforementioned case study). But before Mara there was Jem, Shira Brie, and Gaeriel Captison (who came close to escaping the curse), and in the Legacy of the Force series they brought back sole survivors Akanah and Callista, only to kill them off for good too (and rather brutally, if I may add).

So perhaps when Kevin Hearne began writing HttJ within the confines of the Legends continuity, he was merely sticking to the status quo, or perhaps once subsumed by Disney they needed to make sure Luke's slate was clean (so to speak). And I can’t put all the blame on Hearne since I don’t know whether it was his idea, or LFL mandated - but regardless it was a poor decision.

The root cause of fridging, imo, is limited imagination. How best to cause your male protagonist pain if not kill off someone they love, or at least have strong feelings for? The answer is of course, easily. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The Luke Skywalker of HttJ is fresh from his victory in ANH, a lieutenant in the Rebellion: young, not dumb, and full of...

Nakari Kalen is an absolute Queen a civilian volunteer and crack-shot sniper who loans her ship Desert Jewel to the Alliance. Luke is immediately attracted to her, they bond over a mutual love of fast ships and leaving behind desert home planets, and engage in the inexpert flirting of two nineteen year olds while also risking their lives several times over.

I want to make it clear: I actually really like this book. It's a breezy read, almost serialised as The Early Adventures of Luke Skywalker, and is ofttimes genuinely funny. And credit where it’s due to Hearne, many of of the supporting roles in the novel are female. Other than Nakari, there's Soonta, the Rodian who gives Luke her uncle’s lightsaber, Sakhet the Kupohan spy, and the Givin cryptographer/math genius Drusil Bephorin. In a genre where male characters are often the default for these kind of roles, it was nice to see, but makes the regressive fridging of Nakari even more egregious.

Luke and Nakari make a good team fighting brain-sucking monsters and Imperials, but more importantly they have fun together - she encourages him to work on his Force skills, and he successfully moves objects with his mind for the first time (leading to Nakari adorably dub him "a little noddle scooter"). It's a very sweet, if brief, relationship, and a respite from the danger of the mission. They spend the night together (leaving the reader to decide exactly what happened behind closed doors), and share a kiss before splitting up to try and escape bounty hunters. No prizes for guessing what happens to Nakari immediately after she received the Skywalker Kiss of Death.

I assume there were two motivating factors for why Hearne and/or LFL couldn't let Nakari live:

1. If she survived, fans would wonder why she doesn't appear in ESB/subsequent material.

I recall this bandied about on forums back at the time of the book's release, and to that I say - so what? Fans are always going to wonder, and try to paper over the gaps in canon, to make up their own headcanons to explain any any perceived inconsistencies. It's certainly no reason to kill someone off.

It is in fact possible for two young people to have a romance that just fizzles, or doesn’t work out for whatever reason - it should not require great maneuvering or explanation. If Nakari doesn’t show up in the next book in the timeline, what about it? The reader is smart enough to assume she and Luke broke up, decided to just remain friends, whatever. But it seems that the only way for a female character to exit stage left is for her to die, which is bullshit.

And actually, there's no reason why she couldn't have shown up again. ESB and RoTJ cover a month and a few days, respectively, of Luke's life - just because there was no mention of Nakari doesn't mean she didn't exist at that time, whether or not she and Luke were an item. She could have made an appearance in a subsequent novel, or Rebels, or the comics - she could have become a recurring character, showing up when the Rebellion needed her, or - heaven forbid - even have her own comic/book/show! Her existence in Star Wars canon didn't need to begin and end with Luke Skywalker, merely to service his plotline and backstory and abandoning the richness of her own.

No, the only reason Nakari had to die was to facilitate this:

It was a blow to the gut, realizing what that sudden absence meant. I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, but I had felt Nakari's life snuffed out through the Force, and into that void where she had shone anger rushed in - anger, and a cold sense of raw power and invincibility...I took a step to join in the hunt but stopped, breathing heavily, unaccountably sweating even though I felt so cold inside and the power of the Force roiled within me... I shook with emotion and power, and none of it felt the way the Force had before...I saw what kind of space it was , a black hole that would always be hungry no matter how much I fed it. I might never feel warm again if I didn't get myself under control.

Luke feels the dark side and is tempted by the boost of power it offers him, but immediately identifies it as dangerous and unnatural. I can understand why Hearne wanted to include this - it is a book of firsts after all: Luke's first solo mission, his first time using telekenisis, and ending with story with his first experience of the dark side makes sense. But it wasn't necessary, which leads to:

2. How to push Luke to touch the dark side without killing someone he has romantic feelings for?

Also, obviously, shite of the bull (or nerf, if you prefer). Even if this brush with the dark side was absolutely necessary for the novel's climax, there's any number of ways it could be achieved. At this point, Luke is fresh from losing important people in his life - Owen and Beru, Ben, and Biggs - lumping another death on top of that a narrative trick for Luke to react not only to losing Nakari, but the others as well. But it's cheap, the first card in the deck, and why not show a bit of imagination? Luke is young and inexperienced enough at this point that any number of things could be the catalyst - the whole book he's struggling with his growing powers, why not try and reach too far in the firefight with the bounty hunters, his anger and frustration with himself in not doing enough trigger the dark side temptation? It would work thematically and doesn't involve a fridging that ultimately has very little payoff.

Because Nakari is killed less than ten pages from the end of the book - afterwards Luke grieves, but ultimately chooses to honour her memory and be grateful for what he learned with her, recommitting to becoming a Jedi. It's all very surface level, and once again a female character's death facilitates a male character's development. Was it so imperative that Luke lost someone he cared about as part of this story? Sure, this was a time of galactic civil war, and it's far from unrealistic that these stories have a high body count, but who to make collateral damage remains an authorial choice, and in this case Nakari Kelen was (a) a female character of color, (b) a love interest of the protagonist - not just of this book, but the entire Original Trilogy.

I don't know to what extent (if any) race had to play in the decision. I'm sure there was a segment of the fandom absolutely livid that Luke Skywalker kissed (and maybe had sex with) a black woman. Was her death LFL hedging its bets, or demonstrative of the general lack of attention/respect they show their characters of colour?

In any case this was a chance to stand out from the old EU and it's fridge full of Luke's dead girlfriends, but instead they chose to introduce and kill off Nakari for the sole purpose of Luke's manpain and character development, and that's gross.

And then there's this:

A grisly yet reliable fact about custom bounty hunter ships is that you can always count on them to have body bags stashed somewhere for the easy transport of their kills. They often have built-in refrigerated storage, too.

NAKARI IS KILLED AND LITERALLY STORED IN THE FUCKING FRIDGE I COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT I WAS READING.

I really hope this was unintentional on Hearne's part, because yikes. He was halfway there, this book was full of interesting female characters who had agency - Drusil in particular was a delight with her super math and inability to understand human interaction. Nakari was full of life and fun - capable but relatable, showing a different side of the Rebellion and those that suffered under the Empire's rule. Fridging her in her first appearance is considerably more vile, because it reduces her to a footnote of Luke's story, a plot device to Help Him Grow, rather than a springboard to tell more of her own story.

Because Nakari was a compelling character ripe for spinoff potential. I would absolutely have read or watched her continued adventures, juggling missions for her father's Biolabs company and trying to aid the Rebellion, shooting her slug rifle and cracking wise, maybe even finding a way to amplify her mother's song Vader's Many Prosthetic Parts to really stick it to the Empire, or try and free the political prisoners on Kessel.

The old EU was made great by allies and enemies of Our Heroes showing up again to help or hinder them, and/or branching out into their own material. We fell in love with them, and followed their stories even as they diverged from the main saga, eager to read more about their lives.

Nakari Kelen never got that chance. In many ways, she exemplified what Disney Star Wars was to become: an exercise in wasted potential.

#star wars #star wars meta #heir to the jedi #nakari kelen #luke skywalker #fridging #it's cold in that fridge #star wars expanded universe #nucanon

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takaraphoenix · 2 years

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I’ve been trying to figure out why I don’t enjoy Grey’s Anatomy as much anymore as I used to and I think I found it. It’s the lack of friendship, the narrative shift away from the found family and friendship centric plots of the past and toward nearly exclusively romantic and sexual storylines as well as blood-family.

This show used to angle on friendships, above all else. Yes, it’d always been about the over-the-top love drama too, sure, but at the heart of it stood the friendships that withstood all of that. Cristina and Meredith used to be the central relationship of this show, regardless what drama Meredith and Derek, or Cristina and Owen, had going on, those two fell back to each other. When the show started out, the dynamic between Meredith, Cristina, George, Alex and Izzy was the core focus. The way they lived together, learned together, loved together.

This show had a really strong found family vibe going on and it kept carrying it, even as those five one by one fell apart, it never lost the focus of binding new characters into the network of friendships and establishing strong bonds.

The way Meredith grew closer with Callie, how Meredith and Arizona bonded over being the last survivors at the hospital from the crash, the dynamic between Meredith and Jackson, how Meredith and Jo became friends through Alex when Alex became the “new Cristina”.

But the show fundamentally changed when Alex left, like that was the breaking point when they decided to give up on being focused on friendships.

I thought that Jo would become the “new Alex”, that her and Meredith would bond over Alex leaving, since their friendship had already been build up. But honestly, it feels like Jo and Meredith barely had any scenes at all since Alex left?

Alex’s stupid letter that claimed Meredith was “her own person” still makes me mad, because being strong for yourself is one thing - and Meredith definite is strong for herself - but you still need other people. To support you, to vent to, to have your back, to laugh with and cry with. You can’t be your own support system.

She’s now living with her biological sister and her sister-in-law and her children. The found family was entirely replaced with the family-tree family and it became her sole focus, really. I’m not against her having blood-family, but what bothers me is that she doesn’t seem to have anything outside her family anymore. The only strong dynamics - aside from Richard and Bailey, but they are her mentors first and I’m reluctant to count them among the “friends” in the same sense as M.A.G.I.C. were - are with her family and with whatever current love interest they’re trying to make work.

(Which, I also have a problem with how things with Cormac played out. It never even got to sail at all. That flimsy excuse that Cormac’s kid didn’t like that he was in a relationship and instead of using that opportunity to have Meredith bond with his kids, to have the couple bring their children closer and have open conversations with them, they just completely end that relationship, like she is not a single mother of three too and doesn’t know the kids’ input is important and that kids’ trust needs to be earned.)

The fact that the narrative essentially removed Meredith Grey from Grey’s Anatomy isn’t helping any either. The only times she is seen in Seattle anymore is when she is at home with her kids and her sister. First, she was in the coma last season which already dragged on too long in my opinion and how, they keep shipping her off to her little side-project. I swear, if this were any other character but Meredith, I would say they’re setting that character up for their own spin-off with that, it doesn’t even really feel like she is still a part of Grey’s Anatomy, it very much feels like she’s on another show.

And so far - and we are a fourth into this season by now - that plotline hasn’t really let Meredith establish friendships either. She brought Amelia, her sister, into this. With her boss she as a boss/employee and doctor/patient dynamic, with Kai, she doesn’t really have any dynamic at all yet because the only times Kai’s brought in outside of work-scenes is to flirt with Amelia (which, nice, but I would also like to see them establish a friendship with Meredith?) and then there’s her new boyfriend, with whom she spends most of her time over there.

I miss this show being about found families and how much friendships mean. Now, it really does feel like it’s all about romance, because even the other characters are all about their romances. The only solid friendships this show has left at this moment are Schmidt and Taryn, as well as Jo and Link, all others are exclusively centered in their biological families or their romances. That’s it, I can’t name a single central friendship aside those two in the currently running season of Grey’s Anatomy, where this show used to be so strongly defined through its friendships.

I really hope that the writers will soon remember that friendships exist and spend more time on them again.

#Grey's Anatomy #Meredith Grey

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someawkwardprose · 3 years

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we all know what happened to Jack during the Year That Never Was, so here are some takes on how Team Torchwood became the family we see in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. because of the distinct lack of Jack and Janto, most of these didn’t get the love they deserved, but I think we as a fandom can give them that attention now. pretty Ianto-centric, because he is the fandom favourite (and I am me after all), but a fair amount of everyone. this is not comprehensive, just some of my personal faves, so feel free to add on!

club wales, by pocky_slash; Gwen & Ianto, waiting for Jack to come home.

how could I begin any friendship fic recs without this fandom staple; this was the Gwen & Ianto fic that dragged me into BrOTP hell. it’s not quite gen, as there is a focus on Jack and Ianto’s relationship, and some Rhys/Gwen, but it is focused on Gwen and Ianto, and the team to a lesser extent. the series as a whole is gorgeous, cannot recommend enough.

fire resistant, by Settiai; teamfic, or why the team had to redecorate.

god I love this fic. short and sweet, very much humour with a dash of missing-Jack angst, the team dynamics are just settling and I love it.

forgiveness without apologies, by halfeatenmoon; Ianto & Owen, and what lies between them after Captain Jack Harkness

gosh I just love this take on their dynamic, these blokes who really haven’t developed the ability to just deal with things normally. they’re family, your honour.

this is research, after all, by Eldabe; Gwen & Ianto. Ianto is a history nerd, and Gwen is happy to keep him company.

not...technically set during Jack’s absence, but not explicitly set at any other point either. it’s very short, very sweet; Ianto is at his happy, nerdy self, and Gwen loves to see him happy.

the art of giving, by rexluscus; Gwen & Ianto. Gwen tries to set Ianto up.

another Gwen and Ianto fic, what can I say, I love them. I love how Ianto is just...explicitly this twenty-something nerd who is uncomfortable in social situations, and Gwen is getting to know that person.

construction, by songspinner9; Tosh & Ianto, Owen & Ianto

technically two fics in one, the first deals with how the mural appeared on the Hub wall, and the second with the species database, and how Owen had a new flat. both are just...nice. deserve way more kudos.

and it’s follow up fic, tear it down and build it anew; Owen & Ianto. Ianto was trusted with a secret, but he needs Owen’s help.

I love this one; it’s pretty much canon in my head.

can I tell you...?, by akingnotaprincess; Tosh & Ianto. Tosh and Ianto are lonely.

workaholics anonymous, deals a little with janto, from Ianto’s perspective, but it is a friendship fic.

in vino veritas., by silver_sun, Tosh & Ianto. Tosh gets Ianto drunk.

oh this just adorable, I love Tosh and Ianto as friends so much!

and finally, there is flattery in friendship, by westgate, teamfic. Jack is back, and the team are talking about him.

technically after Jack has returned to them, this is the team, at the pub, adjusting to Jack coming home (and loving him a lot)

#torchwood #ianto jones #gwen cooper #toshiko sato #owen harper #torchwood fanfiction #fic recs #fic rec #awkward talks

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starrlikesbooks · 3 years

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Let’s talk about upcoming books!

It’s hard to believe the year is nearly over, but it’s equally hard to believe that it’s somehow still 2020 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Either way, the new year means at least one good thing- cool new books!

Click the read more for a little on each and why I’m excited! And have a great new year! 💓🎉

The Echo Wife by Sarah Gailey is Gailey’s third full-length novel, and their second Adult novel. It’s an SFF story about a woman whose husband is cheating on her… with a clone of herself… which he made by stealing her research. The layers of betrayal! Obviously her and the clone have to kill him, what other choice do they have? I’m super excited for another one of Gailey’s fun, complex characters and the concept alone sounds so, so cool.

The Valley and the Flood by Rebecca Mahoney I’ve already had the pleasure over reading and I am PUMPED to get other people to read it! This is a magical realism story about grief and baggage mixed with a southern (western?) gothic vibe with the town in the desert full of otherwordly “neighbors”. This is a beautiful story of PTSD and healing and as well as a lushly magic one.

The Mirror Season by Anna-Marie McLemore is another one I’ve already been lucky enough to get an advanced copy of. This is a magical realism story about the trauma of two characters’ unfortunately closely connected sexual assault. This one is heavy, and if you’re sensitive to stories involving rape and/or blackmail you may want to avoid it, but it’s well written and honestly an excellent story of healing and reflection.

Lycanthropy & Other Chronic Illnesses by Kristen O’Neal I…. have also already read! Sorry- I am just a very lucky reader of books! This is a really modern online friendship based story of a girl and her community of people with chronic illnesses, like the one that forced her to come back home from college. But it turns out her best friend’s chronic illness is a little… weird. I love the humor in this book, I love the characters, I love the representation of these illnesses and the online communities they form, and I honestly think that anyone who 1) like werewolves and 2) is still on tumblr will love this book.

Blade of Secrets by Tricia Levenseller combines three of my favorite things- bladesmiths, magical quests, and the author of The Shadows Between Us. A magical bladesmith takes a commission from someone far more dangerous than she knows, and winds up with an uber powerful sword able to steal secrets, on the run, and with some surprising friends. I can’t think of anything I don’t like from that, and I know I already love Levenseller’s characters, so!

Mister Impossible by Maggie Stiefvater has… that title, but is also the sequel to Call Down the Hawk, Stiefvater’s Ronan Lynch centric TRC spin off. CDTH was incredible and ended with a massive cliff hanger, so I’m chompin at the bit for this book. More magical dreams! More disembodied voices! More murder and art theft and Declan Lynch failing at pretending not to be weird af!

May the Best Man Win by ZR Ellor has the potential to make me cry right from the get go. This is a MLM trans lovers-to-enemies-to-friends-to-lovers story and my God I’m vibrating. Basically it’s a battle for prom king between exes who had a messy break up because one of them ended their relationship in order to come out & transition. The cover is so cute and I’m ready for this to be fluffy and fun.

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston is McQuistion’s sophomore novel after Red, White & Royal Blue, so… obviously? This one is sapphic and involves falling for someone who is literally in the past. I trust McQuiston so much I’d need this book immediately even if the concept didn’t sound amazing, but I’m feeling blessed that it does!

Violet Ghosts by Leah Thomas is about being best friends with (and crushing on) a ghost while also coming out to yourself as trans. As an enby who likes ghost books- may I just say trans rights? This book also involved parental abuse, so beware if you find that distressing or triggering!

Blood Like Magic by Liselle Sambury not only has a stunning cover and a main character who looks like she means serious business, but it’s a dark urabn fantasy about witches. The main character fails her ritual to come into her magic, she’s forced to kill her true love or strip her whole blood line. Ah, I love difficult choices, gray morality, and magic, so I’m already in love with this.

The Box in the Woods by Maureen Johnson I’m astounded and super excited to know is going to exist at all. I loved the Truly, Devious trilogy, and while this isn’t exactly a part of that it is the same main character and it is still a mystery about an unsolved murder! Plus, I love summer camps, so a summer camp murder mystery makes me happy.

Gearbreakers by Zoe Hana Mikuta is a sappic enemies-to-lovers about two girls on opposite sides of a war fought by giant Windups. This is a cyberpunk book of spies and pilots and gay love, and it’s also the first in a series!

Any Way the Wind Blows by Rainbow Rowell is the third and (most likely) final book of the Simon Snow series and it’s gonna be GOOD. My only wish is for it to be about 500 pages longer because I want a full out door stopper of tying up loose ends.

The River Has Teeth by Erica Waters is the second book by the Ghost Wood Song author- which was on my most anticipated list for 2020 last year! That one was creepy and folky and queer, and this one looks to be the same. This one has a sister disappear and some strong magic to find out what happened to her, and if their mother was the one who did it.

Mark of the Wicked by Georgia Bowers is a dark fantasy about a girl who comes into her powers but has some different ideas about how she should be using them. I love morally gray or just plain dark main characters, so I’m ready to jump right on this one. This one also involves memory loss/blacking out and being framed, which always adds a cool mysterious layer!

Among Thieves by M.J. Kuhn involves queer, selfish thieves forced to band together. I have a soft spot for characters who are really flawed and don’t want to work together (especially if it leads into found family!) and this also has a slow burn sapphic relationship and a lot of possible betrayal in it, so I’ll probably go crazy from reading it.

Beyond the Ruby Veil #2 by Mara Fitzgerald doesn’t have a title yet but it does have a great plot to work off of. I loved the first book- which was creepy, had a completely awful, villainous main character, and full (I mean full) of murder- and it ended in a way that point to the sequel being just as good if not better. The first one had the quality of just watching the world burn, and I have a feeling this one’s going to be the same thing with maybe more flames. If you plan on picking up either of them, consider checking out the CWs, though!

Little Thieves by Margaret Owen got added to this immediately because Owen definitely gained my love and trust via The Merciful Crow duology, and I’m certain it’s going to be incredible solely because she’s a wonderful writer and her characters are a lot of fun- and speaking of characters, she’s already shared some drawings and info on them and they’re GREAT I cannot wait to meet them. This is a retelling of The Goose Girl story, from the maid’s POV!

Jade Fire Gold by June C.L. Tan was originally on my 2020 most anticipated but then 2020 happened so… yeah. But it is actually coming out in 2021, as long as the world doesn’t end again (fingers crossed). Inspired by East Asian mythology, this one is about a dangerous cult, a peasant cursed to steal souls, and an exiled prince!

The Heartbreak Bakery by A.R. Capetta is going to be one of those cute, fluffy, feel good reads, which I think we probably all need about now. I love Capetta’s work and their very queer characters, and I love the idea of a magical baker both breaking up and then getting couples back together. Also, the MC is agender- we love to see it.

The Second Coming by André-Naquian Wheeler follows a teen with a traumatic past falling for a boy who might be the second coming of Jesus Christ. Honestly, I’m a little nervous about this one- but also I almost wrote my own queer second coming story, so who am I to talk? I don’t know much more about this book, but I’m excited to see what it turns out like!

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red-sector-rivendell · 3 years

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media reccs? 👀 since apparently you are a man of good taste?

Wow thank you 😏 I have a masterlist of movies that have changed me I often recommend to people, I'll just copy and paste here with quick synopses lol, it's kinda long. I'm not super great at writing synopses tho so bear with me

Dead Poets Society (1989)

One of my favorite movies of all time and a total classic. It's about a group of boys at a strict boarding school who are inspired by their new English teacher (played by Robin Williams) to think for themselves and chase their dreams. This movie literally changed my life lol

Quadrophenia (1979)

This movie is based off of the story behind the concept album by The Who of the same name. It follow the life of a young man named Jimmy who is in a gang called the Mods. Theres this huge gang war between them and the Rockers (I think that's their name, it's been a while since i watched it) and Jimmy questions his beliefs about coming-of-age and his values in life throughout the film

Cabaret (1972)

Based off of the Broadway musical of the same name, this movie is about a British man who moves to Germany during the beginning of the rise of Nazis. He meets a woman who basically turns his world upside down, and it follows their love affair and sexuality and anti-semitism, and it's hilarious and heart wrenching and a beautiful movie

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

This is a super trippy romance film. Basically in the universe of this movie, theres a technology that is developed that can delete memories of an entire person from your mind while you are in a dream-like state, and the main character of this movie (played by Jim Carrey) decides to undergo the procedure after a bad breakup. Its soooo good I highly recommend this movie

It's Such a Beautiful Day (2012)

This is an animated film about a man named Bill who is going through brain cancer. Its told from the perspective of an unnamed narrator essentially communicating everything Bill sees, hears, and experiences. This is the movie that got me into film and it is still a complete masterpiece and one of the most beautiful movies I've ever seen

The Dirties (2013)

Loved this one a lot back in high school, it's been a while since I watched it. This is a film made in Canada about a high schooler named Matt Johnson and his friend Owen who decide to make a short film for their class about them killing the gang at their school that bullies them, and things take a dark turn. It's a hilarious movie and hits pretty close to home for me in a lot of ways haha

Logan's Run (1976)

Great movie, pretty cheesy though so be warned. This is based off a book with the same name, and it takes place in the future where most of humanity is wiped out except for a small society that lives under a domed structure. No one is allowed to leave the dome, and to control overpopulation, no one is allowed to live past the age of 30. It's really bizarre but I love this movie

Donnie Darko (2001)

Pretty sure this was Jake Gyllenhaal's first big hit when he was super young (I think he was like 19 in this movie but I'm not sure) basically about this kid, Donnie Darko, who is somewhat schizophrenic and has a habit of sleepwalking. After one particular incident he has a near-death experience and starts seeing a man in a bunny costume everywhere who makes him do weird stuff. Another pretty trippy movie with a crazy ending

American Psycho (2000)

Honestly I'm sure a few on this list you've probably seen (most likely this one included) but I didnt wanna leave any out because they're all so good. If you haven't seen this, it's about a Wall Street executive named Patrick Bateman who is a materialistic phony by day and a serial killer by night. I tried to read the book but the inner dialogue was really hard to get through lmao. Awesome movie though huge recommend.

Clockwork Orange (1971)

Yet another trippy one. And fuck it's been a long time since I've seen it so I might get some stuff wrong here. But it's basically about this serial rapist guy who hangs out with this group of goons and they all like to go beat up homeless people and shit, but the main character gets captured and has to go through reformation therapy to make him a better person. It's an extremely bizarre movie but soooo good and kind of hilarious lol

Creep (2014)

Of course this is on my list haha. If you haven't seen it yet, it's a horror movie about this freelance film guy who answers an ad on craigslist to help a man with cancer film a movie for his unborn son. And shit gets weird real fast. One of my favorite horror movies ever, I wouldnt say it's super scary but it's fun as fuck

Hereditary (2018)

If I'm being honest, I don't like a lot of big movies made in super recent years and especially not horror movies (mostly because they're all cheap cash grabs with no substance) but this one is an exception for me. Hereditary is fucking masterful in my opinion, legitimately creepy as hell and well-produced and well written. To put the plot as vaguely as possible without spoiling anything, it's about a family (mostly the mother) who go through some crazy fucked up shit. That's literally all I can say without giving anything away. Super good flick, big recommend

Gattaca (1997)

This list isn't in any particular order, and I love all these movies to death, but if I had to rank them this would probably be on the lower end. It's not a bad movie, it's still great but it's just not as life-changing as the other ones lmao. This takes place in the future where genetic modifications have progressed to a point where you can modify your unborn child's DNA to have the perfect baby. This has led to, essentially racial bias against those who never had that procedure when they were born. The main character was not one of these "special" children, but he wants an extremely prestigious job which requires that of the employee. Through the film, he is trying to fake his identity and fool the company into thinking he is one of these perfect people. Still a great film

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)

Johnny Depp, man, he is something else. I LOVE this movie. Based off a true story and a book written by the man who lived it, Hunter S. Thompson, this follows the adventure of the writer and his attorney as they go on a drugged-out, psychedelic romp through Las Vegas with the original intention being to cover a story on a motorcycle race, but things go off the rails as they both terrorize the entire city in a way. Just a fun ride the whole way, a great movie

The Truman Show (1998)

God I'm realizing this list is long as fuck. Don't watch all of these movies, it might take you a lifetime lmao. Anyway, this is a classic Jim Carrey movie and another one you've probably seen. But again, if you haven't, this movie is about a man whose entire life has been fabricated and shot for television without him knowing. Super great, super moving, fantastic film 10 outta 10 I gotta wrap this shit up

A Scanner Darkly (2006)

A lesser known Keanu Reeves movie, but fuck I wish more people have seen this. This is one of my favorite movies of all time, and it's based off a book which is just as amazing. This movie takes place in the near future, where facial recognition technology has progressed wayyy too far, and drugs have gotten to the point of no return. The plot follows a detective who is undercover in a junkie house trying to figure out who is the top of the drug dealing totem pole, but ends up wrapped in the junkie lifestyle a little too deeply. Seriously, I recommend this movie to everyone who asks, it's so damn good

Fight Club (1999)

Another popular one. If you havent seen it, it's based off a book by Chuck Palahniuk following the story of a man (the main character actually doesnt have a name lol) who meets a guy named Tyler Durden who changes his entire perspective on how the world works. They start an underground boxing club together to help themselves and other men blow off steam and get away from the capitalist consumer-centric lifestyle they are forced into. Big twist at the end, great movie five stars on yelp

Harold and Maude (1971)

This is a weird one. Gotta say. It's about a guy in his 20s who meets an old woman at a funeral and falls in love with her. Sounds pretty ok at face value but theres a lot of really strange subplots and a huuuuge twist at the end (one of the subplots being the guy compulsively fakes his suicide to get his mother's attention) big recommend

Polyester (1981)

This one I cant even explain u just have to watch it its fucking bizarre

Fargo (1996)

Ok lightning round on the synopses, this movie is about a man who wants to commit fraud by hiring guys to kidnap his wife so her father can pay them ransom and instead the husband gets the money but everything goes wrong it's really good

Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)

Another modern movie I actually like, last time I watched this I was on shrooms and it was crazy but it's about this hotel right on the border of california and (Nevada I think?) And all these weird people are staying at it and there are twists at every turn and chris hemsworth is a cult leader in it its great

Memento (2000)

GREAT MOVIE GOD PLEASE WATCH THIS ONE it's about a man who develops short term memory loss after witnessing the rape and murder of his wife AND WHEN I SAY THERE ARE TWISTS LIKE EVERY TEN MINUTES I MEAN IT. The film is chronologically backwards, in that the first scene takes place at the end of the story and works back from there in increments of like 5 minutes. Basically each scene is a segment of time that this guy remembers before his memory loss kicks in and he forgets and FUCK it's so good please god watch it

Almost Famous (2000)

This is another one that would probably be low on my ranking but still a great and fun movie, it's about this kid that wants to write articles about rock stars for the rolling stone (based off a true story btw) and he ends up running away to go ride on a tour bus with some band and gets into all types of shenanigans and its great and sad

Parasite (2019)

Another modern movie I love, fuck this is getting too long lmao. Poor family wants to make money and they hatch a scheme to pretend to be bougie and work for this rich family but shit gets weird and everything goes wrong and it's so good (also literally the only film ever that made me speechless afterwards)

Pulp Fiction (1994)

Pretty much lives up to the hype, I totally forgot the plot but it's pretty damn good I remember that lmao

The Warriors (1979)

Fun movie, theres a bunch of teen gangs in New York and the leader of all of em is like "hey we should rally all the gangs together and fuck up the cops so we can rule this city" but then he gets shot by someone in the crowd and the gang The Warriors gets blamed so the whole movie is them running from all the other gangs so they can get back to home base and it's just an all around fun time movie

12 Monkeys (1995)

THIS MOVJE IS CRAZY it takes place in the future where a virus has almost completely wiped humans off the face of the earth so these scientists send this guy back in time to figure out where it came from so they can stop it from ever happening but obviously everything goes wrong and yadda yadda yadda it's amazing

Waking Life (2001)

Gonna preface this by saying this film is definitely not for entertainment, it's kind of an arthouse-type flick. It's the type of movie you have to think really really hard about to watch. The basic plot is the main character is stuck inside his own lucid dream, and is walking around listening to all these characters in his dream talk to him about, idk like the meaning of life and consciousness and shit. It's really good if you're in the mood for that type of thing.

Okay I'm finally done, you probably didnt expect this but I've been meaning to put my movie recommendations on this blog anyway haha. I deleted some just cause it was getting wayyyy too long. If u want a shorter list I can just give u like a top 5 in DMs but there u go have at it, every movie on that list is a banger I swear

#long post #movies #film #cinema #cinephile #ask #movie recommendations #you have no obligation to read all that #really shows how bored i am that i wrote out this whole fuckin thing on my phone lmao #youre welcome?

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nellie-elizabeth · 3 years

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Grey's Anatomy: It's All Too Much (17x08)

I don't know... this one kind of just rolled right over me. Not in a bad way, not in a good.

Cons:

DeLuca's death is stupid, and the legacy of it here is still stupid. They had so much they could have done with his character, and now having everyone go through their tepid, repetitive grief routine is just tiresome. They gave most of the grieving material to Teddy, who I hate, and to Bailey, who I love, but I don't really like the response they gave her. She decides to order an autopsy and do an M&M about DeLuca's death to make sure no mistakes were made, but Richard tells her she's causing harm to the living, that no mistakes were made. It was just a tragedy. I don't know... does this seem like something Bailey would do? It felt like a more transparent excuse than usual, to have two characters standing in a room yelling at each other.

And Teddy, with that whole thing where she keeps glimpsing DeLuca all over the place? It's really annoying and why would I connect with her grief over the loss of Andrew? There are other characters who I wanted to spend more time with. This was emphasized at the end when we had the memorial and we didn't get to hear what people were actually saying about DeLuca, because honestly most of these characters didn't have a personal connection with him... and the ones who did, didn't have a lot of screen time to deal with it. Then we end with Owen carrying Teddy home at the end... and the trailer showing a Teddy-centric episode next week... gah. No THANK you. I don't LIKE you, Teddy. Sorry not sorry.

The pacing was... strange during Link and Amelia's argument scene. I can't tell if I'm supposed to be worried about Link's drinking. Do I want to do a whole alcoholism story-line with him? No, no I don't. Link and Amelia are like a safe haven of more relatable stress on this show for me this season. I'm hopeful that this story is just about the stresses and conflicts that come from their situation, and that they'll weather the storm as always. They seem to show that in their last scene, but I don't know... I just didn't like their fight scene.

Pros:

Schmitt is my favorite. His speech to Bailey about how he feels like a bad Jew but how the ceremonies and traditions are really helpful to him... that was so sweet. I loved his moments with Nico in this episode too, where we got this acknowledgment that the problems in their relationship stemmed a lot from Nico's numbness. Then there's that moment during the memorial where Nico initiates a hand-hold. I'm so back and forth with these two. Ultimately I want Nico to pay a bit for his poor treatment of Levi... but they're showing that he's softened, that he is acknowledging his poor behavior in some small way... I don't know. I just want Levi to be happy.

So, the memorial was kind of a miss for me. Sure, I got misty-eyed whenever the camera focused on Carina, and when Andrew's interview video popped up there were a few tears. But overall the music and the sad panning camera over everyone's faces... it just didn't quite land for me. It's the smaller moments, really, that worked in terms of highlighting the grief, and for that we should turn to Maggie.

Maggie didn't have a ton of screen-time in this episode, but she made me cry twice. The first was at the beginning, when Winston (Maggie's bf, I finally learned his name!) is dancing with the kids to distract them from Maggie and Amelia having a moment. About DeLuca, and about Meredith still being so sick. Maggie is sitting on the chair crying while the kids are goofing off with Winston, and it was so poignant. The second was towards the end, when Helm admits that she had no compassion for DeLuca when he got sick, and now she's feeling so guilty, and she just wants the touch of another person. Maggie tells her to stand up and turn around, and then they just stand there, back to back, touching but not breathing on each other, and Helm allows herself to cry. So good.

I love Jo, I love her giggly, hysterical way of processing grief. I love the scene of her, Link, and Jackson just sitting around and drinking and complaining about their various woes. I'm not really on board the Jackson/Jo train because I think it's kind of lazy to pair them up, but I do think they have a natural, easy chemistry that reminds me of how much I've liked Jackson as a character over the years. Same thing goes for Maggie and Winston. Man, Jackson and Maggie really did just drag the worst out of each other, didn't they? I'm happy they're no longer together!

And then we've got Meredith. She's on the beach, deciding whether to live or die or whatnot. Derek is there again. Hearing Derek talk about Ellis was really heartwarming. I mean, it's always kind of hilarious how little the characters in Grey's are actually around for their children, but they have really tried to step up the importance of the children this season. I love that Zola is becoming more of a character in her own right, and even though we don't see much of Bailey or Ellis, their presence is certainly felt. Apparently Zola writes letters to her dad in her journal! And Ellis is the serious one, so much like her mom. Just... excuse me while I weep! And then you have Hayes coming in to talk to Meredith where she lays in bed, still on the ventilator, and he's encouraging her to wake up for the sake of her children. Meredith is anxious about Derek, but he says not to worry, that he'll be right there when she needs him.

Like, all this afterlife/seeing dead character stuff... it's undeniably incredibly cheesy. It's also... really working for me, not gonna lie. I'm enjoying seeing Meredith get this weird, unconventional peace. She's fought so hard to be content with her life, and I want her to wake up and keep living it.

That's all for now! It's still bullshit that DeLuca is dead. I'm pissed about it. And I'm already preemptively frustrated by the Teddy-centric mess we're getting next week. But all in all, this episode was perfectly alright.

7.5/10

#review #grey's anatomy #grey's anatomy review #greys anatomy #greys anatomy review #grey's #grey's abc #greys #greys abc

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