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flowerandblood · 1 year

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My Best Friend (Part 28)

[modern! club owner • Aemond x fem!reader]

[warnings: fluff, kissing, mention of rape]

[description: Aemond has his own club and often does business at the home of one of his business associates. There he often meets his younger sister, with whom he develops a deeper relationship through shared secrets. This is slow burn love story.]

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Previous and next chapters: Masterlist

_____

Aemond decided he couldn't stay for dinner. Their morning family conversation had completely worn him out. Y/N obviously understood and said they would go whenever he wanted. He said goodbye to his sister and mother. He hesitated as his father reached out to him, wanting to hug him. It must have been a rare sight, apparently, because their mother was touched. Aemond embraced him briefly and stiffly. He and Aegon nodded to each other, but said nothing.

Y/N and Aemond got into his car, fastening their seatbelts. Aemond sighed softly, closed his eye, and rested the back of his head against the armrest. He looked like he needed a few minutes to cool down from overstimulation. Y/N was silent for a moment, but then spoke up.

“I know you wanted to tell me about this accident yourself, at the right time. Or that you didn't want to tell me about it at all. It was your right and your brother behaved terribly." She said calmly. She wanted him to know that she understood him and that she thought he had every right to be angry, frustrated, and tired. Aemond sighed softly at her words.

"Maybe that was better." He said more to himself than to her, staring blankly ahead. Y/N swallowed softly. "Do you want me to do this?" He asked suddenly, the tone of his voice changing to a more businesslike one. Y/N blinked in surprise, not understanding what he meant.

"To do what?" She asked for clarification.

"Go to therapy."

Y/N pursed her lips, feeling she had to choose her words very carefully. Deep down, she believed that therapy with good specialist would be a godsend for him, help in dealing with demons. But she knew how hard it was for him to admit to himself that he had problems, and that he needed help. She didn't want her answer to discourage him, to make him think she thought him weak. They sat in silence for a while, then Y/N spoke up.

“It's not about what I want, it's about what you want. What I want is for you to stop having nightmares. You can talk to a therapist and impartial about everything that happened to you. Not for that person to judge you, give you medication, or solve your problems for you - that's not how it works. Just so you can properly analyze it all and work through it.” She said in one breath, her heart pounding like crazy. After a moment, she added. “If you don't like it after your first visit and don't want to continue, nothing will happen. Sometimes the most important thing is to just try. I want you to know that I will never force you to do anything."

There was silence in the car. Aemond stared ahead blankly, Y/N could see that he was thinking very hard and fighting with himself. After a moment he looked at her.

"I'll try. For you."

***

Aemond called his father after they arrived at his apartment and told him that he would see the therapist, at least for one visit. The thought of it made his stomach clench, but he felt he owed it to her. Because of him and his past, Y/N constantly suffered and was ashamed of him.

A few months ago, before he started dating her, he would have never agreed to tell a stranger about his problems. Now, however, he felt he had something to lose. That if he decides to do it only at the age of 60, like his father, it may be too late.

He felt on the one hand that it was the right decision, and on the other that it was humiliating for him. He asked his father to set him up as soon as possible because he wanted to get it over with. He thought that maybe one meeting would be enough to prove to Y/N that he was serious about her and his father, that he cared about his family, and he wouldn't have to go on like this any longer. He sighed when his father told him that the therapist could see him even the next day.

As planned, he spent the whole day with Y/N. He drove her to her class and then brought her back. They made dinner together, talked about trifles and her day. Aemond knew she must have seen how scatterbrained and tense he was. She would come up to him once in a while, kiss his cheeks, shoulders, hands, looking at him tenderly, and he would snuggle up to her, experiencing a moment of comfort. But as soon as she let him go, a veil of terror fell over him again, as if he was going to be beheaded tomorrow.

He couldn't sleep that night. He knew that it made Y/N wake up too. She touched him every time he turned around, her hand found his hair again and stroked him steadily, trying to calm his nerves. It was only thanks to her and her embrace that he was able to sleep at least a few hours.

The next morning, he asked her to come with him. He wanted her to wait for him outside. Y/N agreed immediately and beamed, his proposal flattering her greatly. He felt that he couldn't go there alone, that her presence would keep him from running away at the last moment and changing his mind. He didn't want to let her down, but he couldn't swallow anything from his anxiety. Y/N's heart sank at the sight, but his determination to try it made her very happy and filled her with great hope.

They left 20 minutes before the visit. The therapist's office that his father spoke of was in an office building on the outskirts of the city, surrounded by vegetation and parks. Y/N proposed that instead of sitting in the car, she would wait outside and take a walk, and closer to the end of the visit, she would wait for him outside the building. Aemond just nodded, didn't even say goodbye. He was completely in his thoughts.

He entered the office building and headed for the elevator, selecting the appropriate floor. He made his way down the hall following the markings on the wall and finally came to a door marked "Dr. Andrew Reed”. He exhaled through his nose, not believing what he was doing. He felt that his jaw and throat were completely clenched. His mind screamed for him to run. However, before he could do anything, the door opened and a smiling man in his fifties stood there. He was smartly dressed, his beard and graying hair neat and tidy.

"Mr. Aemond? Please, come inside." He said, his voice low and calm, gesturing with his hand for him to come in. Aemond's legs felt like jelly, but his face was stone. He walked slowly to the couch and sat on it. Dr. Reed sat across from him in his chair. There was silence for a moment.

"Tell me what brings you here." He began, his voice soft and encouraging. Aemond rolled his eye at the biased question. He didn't know how to answer.

“What probably brings all your patients. My problems." He said, without looking at him, only out the window, at the spreading park. He wondered if Y/N was just walking there. Dr. Reed chuckled under his breath.

"What are these problems?" He asked, unfazed by his tone and demeanor. Aemond was silent for another moment. He thought it was all a waste of time and money. However, he decided that since he was here, he would try to make him feel that he had done everything he could.

"I have nightmares." He replied curtly and evasively.

"What are you dreaming about?" The doctor asked encouragingly. Aemond unconsciously played with his fingers, bent over, sitting with his legs apart, still looking to the side. He pursed his lips at the thought of having to force it out, especially in front of a strange man. For some reason, he had a feeling that he would react like his father.

"I dream that I am strangling a woman." He said finally. The doctor turned his head.

“There is nothing wrong with dreams as long as they do not reflect our true intentions. Is there a woman you really want to strangle?" A momentary silence answered him. Aemond was surprised at how quickly he figured it out.

"Yes." He replied quietly.

"Why do you want to strangle her?" The doctor continued, his tone still encouraging, not a trace of accusation or uncertainty. Aemond felt his heart pounding wildly in his chest. His lower lip trembled.

"Because she tried to rape me." He said finally. A moment of silence answered him.

"Tell me more about it." Said Dr. Reed. Aemond rolled over uneasily.

"What do you want to know?" He asked ironically. "Any details of the act itself?"

Dr. Reed was not put off by his words.

“Tell me about what you think is important about this event. What you felt then.” He said, and Aemond shivered. No one had ever asked him about that.

"I don't know." He answered honestly. "I couldn't move or say anything. Before she could really do anything, I threw her off me with such force that I thought I had killed her."

Dr. Reed stared at him intently.

"In your dreams, have the women you are strangling also tried to molest you before?" He asked calmly. Aemond's jaw tightened. He felt as if the man was tearing him apart, and it terrified him, that he read him like an open book.

"Yes."

Only now did Aemond dare look at him. The doctor nodded understandingly, as if it was obvious.

"During sexual contact with women, do you strangle them as well?" He asked, looking at him with understanding. Aemond looked down, embarrassed. He swallowed loudly.

"I was doing it. Up to a point." He answered truthfully. The doctor was intrigued, and he adjusted himself in his seat.

"What changed?" He asked, resting his chin on his hand. Aemond blinked.

“I met someone. I fell in love with my friend's little sister." He said and felt his throat tighten. "Before her, I only dated women much older than me." He admitted shamefully, looking away as if admitting something disgusting. The therapist looked at him curiously.

"Was the woman who tried to take advantage of you also much older than you?" He asked calmly. Aemond pursed his lips, ashamed and embarrassed that he had discovered the pattern so easily.

"Yes." He replied after a moment. The doctor nodded as if everything was coming together for him.

"Your girlfriend doesn't remind you of the woman who tried to take advantage of you, so you don't feel the need to show her such aggressive forms of domination. It is clear." He said finally. “As you are probably aware, we often fall into the trap of our own trauma, unable to free ourselves from it, so we experience it all over again, only with other people. That's why daughters of alcoholics bond with men who are prone to alcohol abuse without even knowing it, and men who had aggressive fathers are more likely to be aggressive in the future."

"So you think it's only natural that I get aroused from strangling women?" Aemond asked impatiently.

“For some, it's just a fetish, all you need is security passwords, the consent of the other person and you can live a normal life with it. In your case, however, it was not dictated by the fetish itself, but by the desire to show who has real control over the situation. You were giving these women a subconscious signal that if they tried to force you to do something against your will, you were prone to extreme violence." He said, tilting his head.

Aemond swallowed hard as he looked at him. He was terrified that he was right. He clenched his hands on his knees.

"The girl you're with. Tell me about her." He said crossing his legs. Aemond glanced at him, surprised. He cleared his throat and looked back at the window, thoughtful. He wondered how to describe her.

“She is empathetic and assertive at the same time. She has a lot of understanding, but she also sets clear boundaries. She never pestered me or forced me to do anything. She always considered my opinion and respected my requests. She once told me that she always wanted me to be her friend. That she values me very much. I remember being touched by it." He said and felt his throat tighten, felt the emotion he suppressed. "She's my best friend."

Dr. Reed smiled at those words and nodded in understanding.

"She sounds like a great girl. You said you strangled women up to a point. Are your close-ups no longer about sadistic gestures on your part?” He asked, looking at him expectantly. Aemond shook his head quickly.

"No. I wouldn't forgive myself for that." He spoke softly, more to himself than to him.

"Do you feel the lack of it? The discomfort of not being able to treat her like other women, the lack of stimuli that previously made you aroused?” The doctor asked, but Aemond shook his head quickly again.

"No. It's different with her. More tenderly. I can’t explain that." He said, looking out the window again, deep in his thoughts. "Just the smell of her hair is enough to drive me crazy."

***

Y/N was sitting on a park bench right in front of the entrance to the office building where they had made their appointment. She shuffled her feet, restless. She couldn't see Aemond anywhere and hoped he hadn't run away, but she was terribly afraid for him. She knew how hard it was for him and she stressed with him. She was afraid he would come out angry and discouraged.

She jumped when she saw him leave the building. She stood up and waved at him, running cheerfully towards him. She took his hand and he bent down to kiss her lips tenderly. She could feel his hands trembling, but his face showed no nervousness.

"Everything's all right?" She asked softly, intertwining their fingers together. Aemond bent down wordlessly, burying his nose in her hair.

"I haven't felt this good in a long time."

_____

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hornedstorys · 3 months

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Ride it - Urizen x Reader/ Devil may cry - part 2

Description: Things get more intense between you and Urizen/Vergil, but Dante always manages to ruin everything.

Warnings: nsfw, 18+, sex with a demon, size difference, mating season

Note: It's a random story. I haven't watched a DMC Lets Play in a long time, so I'm not up to date. The story is written in freestyle, so it can differ significantly from the original story. I hope you still enjoy reading!

You woke up and rubbed your eyes. At first you didn't notice where you were, but the next moment you remembered and opened your eyes and pressed yourself against the stone. You noticed how stiff your neck was and your gaze fell on the Demon King. He had his cheek resting on his claw and was watching you with interest.

The way he looked at you made you nervous and you pressed your legs together. Of course the demon noticed your behavior and the corners of his mouth turned up in amusement. A demon that has found its potential partner automatically releases pheromones that attract the partner and it doesn't matter what or who the partner is. Be it demon or human. But of course you didn't know anything about it and Dante, Nero and V hadn't told you about it either.

Your excitement grew and you didn't know what to do. He could probably smell it since his nose was a lot better than yours and it only embarrassed you more. But you didn't want to give in, but suddenly you remembered that you still had something specific with you. A knife that you took with you as a precaution. The only question was whether it would help you. After all, you were dealing with a demon and a powerful one at that.

You stood up and stared directly into Urizen's pupils. His otherwise narrow slits were widened and only now did you notice the thick shaft leaning against his muscular stomach. You swallowed. It was at least as big as your forearm, if not much bigger. You swallowed.

“It’s rude to stare,” his deep, gravelly voice snapped you out of your trance.

“Apparently you don’t have anything against me, the way I see it,” you whisper, still looking him straight in the eyes. His mouth opened slightly, but he couldn't form any words at first. He just stared openly and interestedly at you as you took a seat on his lap.

He was reluctant to admit it, but his demonic heart beat faster as your hands touched his legs and his hard cock twitched. The fire inside him bubbled and his paw grabbed your ass. You sucked in a sharp breath and stared at him with wide eyes.

You could feel yourself getting wet and you unconsciously moved against his thigh. He hissed when he could smell how wet you were.

"The offer, my king. I think we should talk about it again," you breathed, your mind becoming more and more foggy. It was like someone had poisoned you with a love potion.

Of course you had been careful not to meet any of his eyes. Urizen had already closed it, which was honestly more pleasant for you because you somehow felt like you were being watched too much.

You continued to ride his thigh and you felt your cheeks heating up too. The Demon King looked at you in admiration. He didn't want to hurt you, but he had a hard time holding back his dark side.

The next moment he grabbed you and ripped your clothes off. You felt dizzy with embarrassment, but what should you be ashamed of? After all, Vergil was a huge demon who may not have been particularly attractive to many people. Rather intimidating.

He gasped as he felt his bare, warm skin against his smooth, cold demon skin. He had placed you back on his thigh, but your attention was focused on something completely different.

His hard demon cock twitched further up his stomach and drops of pleasure had collected on his tip. You looked at it fascinatingly. It was ribbed and a lighter shade of blue, except for the thick tip. It was purple-blue and a thick vein ran from one end of the shaft to the other.

You wanted to feel him so much. But you knew he was too big to take, way too big.

Urizen saw your gaze and his pupils dilated even more.

“Ride him,” he growls and doesn’t accept any argument. You looked at him with wide eyes. But you obeyed and climbed further up his lap.

The demon leaned back a little further and watched you with an intense gaze.

You carefully sat down on his shaft. This was the only way you could ride him; anything else would have been impossible at this size. You started dragging your wet lips over his shaft and Urizen gasped sharply and growled.

“Good human, keep going,” you listened to him and continued riding him. You were so wet that you just slid over it and the friction on your clit was just too good.

A moan escaped your mouth but you didn't care. You were too caught up in your bliss that you didn't even notice demonic eyes roaming over your body. A clawed finger brushed over your pebbly nipples, making you twitch.

“Oh,” you moaned as his claw pleasured your clit. He was careful not to hurt you with his claws. You squirmed, his cock twitching beneath you.

"Aah… I want you inside me… please," you pleaded, your lust-filled eyes meeting the Demon King's. He hesitated for a moment, then something occurred to him and he closed his eyes. You stopped moving and stared at him curiously. Suddenly the large thighs shrank and gradually Urizen became smaller. But he still remained taller than a human, he was still a good two meters tall, if not a bit taller. You were amazed that he could change his size.

"I warned you, dove. Once I start… I won't be able to hold back. I'm not good with virgins," he growled and you looked at him provocatively.

"Maybe I'm not a virgin anymore, Vergil," you emphasized his name and you felt the demon tremble beneath you. His claws clenched into fists. You had made him jealous. He could always smell it when a man had his hands on you. Although they had always been your boyfriends, Vergil had still been jealous every time he could smell them. Just the way you said his name drove him crazy.

He grabbed you and pulled you off the throne with him. You gasped as he laid down on the cold ground of the demon world, staring down at you from above.

“I’m going to mark you so much even a human man can smell it, Y/n,” he growled. He grabbed your legs and almost ripped them apart, you gasped and watched as his huge shadow draped over your small form.

His cock pressing slid along your wet sex, making you exhale deeply. Then he pushed into you slowly but greedily and you tilted your head back and rolled your eyes. He stretched so well it hurt, but at the same time it felt so damn hot and good.

You spread your legs even further so he could be even closer to you. You wrapped your arms around his neck and Urizen also pulled you closer to him. Your eyes met and you both panted heavily. He thrust into you so hard that your vision went black and the air came out of your mouth in ragged gasps.

Your fingers dug into his shoulders as his thighs slapped against yours. The animalistic sounds the demon made drove you even more crazy. Suddenly it came over you and you pressed your lips to his. For a brief moment the world seemed to stand still and the demon's eyes widened.

He wasn't used to this physical closeness. It had been so long since his last kiss as a half-demon that he had forgotten what it felt like. But he got involved and the next moment he became greedier.

He pushed his big tongue into your mouth and you moaned. He explored every inch and you slowly ran out of breath. Then he suddenly pulled away and started licking along your jaw, down to your neck. You could feel the sharp canine teeth and it made you shudder.

He could easily kill himself if he wanted to. But he didn't want to and he couldn't either. He wanted to have you all to himself, he wanted to fuck himself every night until you couldn't walk anymore and mark you every time.

Suddenly he pulled away from you and let his still hard cock slip out of you. A bright ring of your juices had formed around his shaft and your scent was in the air.

"Turn around. Get on all fours," he growled and you obeyed. You presented your ass to him and he ran his claws along your hips. You sucked in a sharp breath as his tongue passed through your wet lips, stretching you even further towards him. He growled excitedly.

He licked you like your juices were his ambrosia and he couldn't have enough of them. His claws dug into your skin and you hissed, partly in pleasure and partly in pain. Pityingly, he pulled away from you and pushed your upper body down. You read it happening to you and wait for his next move.

You could clearly feel his hardness against your sex and your heart was beating so hard against your chest that you felt dizzy. You just had sex with a demon and he wasn't just a demon, no, it was Vergil's full demon form that just made you his and you almost felt pride in your chest.

He penetrated you deeply and you groaned. It surprised you, but the next moment you squeezed tightly around him as he stretched you again. He panted, leaning over your small form. His hips slapped your ass gently at first, but soon he increased the speed and fucked you without mercy.

Your body burned and heat rose to your face. Your skin shimmered in the light of the demon world as a layer of sweat covered it.

“That’s it, you’re doing so well,” Urizen growled, but you didn’t manage to say anything. You were too dizzy and it felt way too good.

Suddenly he rubbed his claw against your clitoris, making your body tremble even more. Your moans became louder and you could feel yourself getting closer. Vergil's strokes also became sloppy and the next moment, you were moaning and clenching around him and pumping him. Immediately afterwards Urizen came and his claws dug deeper into your skin again.

He pulled out of you and you could feel his seed running down your legs. You jumped in shock as his tongue licked over the spots and cleaned you. It made you blush, it was a very intimate gesture and you didn't expect him to do something like that for you.

“Everyone will now be able to smell who you belong to,” he growled, pulling you to your shaky legs. Your eyes got bigger. He still didn't mind that you smelled like him? Urizen noticed your look, his brow furrowing.

"You're mine now, Y/n. A demon-human pairing is forever," he explained and you tried to replay the words in your head. But before you could say anything, Dante suddenly appeared out of nowhere and attacked his brother.

Out of nowhere someone grabbed your arm and pulled you out of the fight, it was V. He put a blanket around you because you were still naked and the embarrassment rose in you, but V's look was friendly and neutral always. He didn't judge you.

“You didn’t stick to the plan, Y/n, but I see you had fun,” Dante teased, looking you up and down as he landed near you every now and then. Urizen growled and tried to hit Dante, but in the end Dante won and you watched in dismay as he struck down his brother.

But then something strange happened. V walked over to the Demon King, who was lying exhausted on the ground, and climbed onto his chest. He mumbled something about he had lost him and Urizen had lost V. Everything happened so quickly and the next moment he stabbed the demon with his stick.

Everyone watched in panic as a bright light shot into the sky and you closed your eyes. When you opened it again after a few seconds you froze.

There he stood, in his full form and with his Yamato in his hand.

"What is that?" Nero asked and Dante didn't look very pleased.

“Vergil,” you breathed, and the silver-haired man’s head turned in your direction. Your eyes met and suddenly your vision went black.

#x reader #vergil x reader #devil may cry

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lizzienaut · 2 years

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leaving the community

oh man, hardly thought i’d see the day when this would happen. i’m not really sure where to start this post to be honest, so apologies in advance for having to read my poorly thought out ramblings.

for those that don't wanna read, the tl;dr = i'm furthering myself from the sfw community, this blog is going on a permanent hiatus, you can find me @buntopiia or @kinkynaut if youre 18+, im just generally unhappy and tired here but im so grateful for all of the support and all the super cool friends i made here <33 its not goodbye forever!!

it’s been a good run, hasn’t it? but then again, it’s not like im going away completely — i'm still gonna be active on tumblr, just not in the sfw side of the tickle community. i'll also be active on my new main, which is @buntopiia, so if you aren't 18+ or just arent comfy with nsfw content, you can still find me there if you ever wish to talk.

so here comes the nitty gritty of it all; i just don't enjoy being here anymore. im sure its super apparent to everyone that the sfw community is always on the brink of tearing itself apart, barely being held together by its seams - and to be honest, i'm just completely over it. it seems that we can't go a day here without someone getting death threats or being told to kill themselves over the way they perceive their interest in tickling, which is such a stupid fuckin sentence to type out, but here we are.

the rampant hatred everyone seems to have for each other is draining. and this isn't about the anons that i've gotten specifically- i found those funny more than anything (i'm still a slut well denizen at heart), but a whole slew of other things as well. the constant drama feels reminiscent of high school, and come to think of it, it's probably because the sfw community is filled mainly with minors. mostly ones who don't know how to cultivate their own online experience and blame the adults for it, but i digress. every callout post is just a reminder of how toxic and shitty the sfw side of the community can be. lots of people hide behind the "sfw" title to seem innocent and approachable. lots of people demonize the nsfw community for everything that happens here. but in all honesty, when's the last time you've seen any big drama from the nsfw community?

lots of people stay in their own little bubble there, curating their own content and reblogging from each other solely. i find that (most) adults are very good at following their dni criteria and keeping minors away, even if they don't listen. and the fact that the kinksters are so harshly spoken about by the sfw community is another major factor as to why i'm leaving.

i have a tickle fetish. i see tickling as something both nonsexual in platonic scenarios and sexual in romantic ones (in my own life, of course). hearing people constantly saying having a fetish is gross or vile or whatever is genuinely upsetting, which is why i was in denial about it for the longest time. i felt disgusting for it. i was so ashamed and terrified of people finding out, because i thought it would make me some kind of "pervert" or something, which also sounds incredibly stupid when i type it out.

like seriously, this is a post about tickling. the fact that we have drama and community politics over here is the dumbest shit i've ever heard lmfao

but yeah. i feel safer in the nsfw community than i do here now. i'll post the occasional fluffy tickle art on my main, but other than that, all of my content will be posted onto my kink account. and you're more than welcome to interact with my main!! you dont even need to be on anon or a main yourself, im more than okay with tickle blogs interacting with me. it isnt something im ashamed of anymore, and being in the nsfw community has helped me overcome that fear. being unabashedly kinky is extremely freeing, tbh.

its been fun and ive seriously enjoyed my time here with you guys <33 again, i'm not gone completely! i'm just distancing myself from the "sfw" brand and moving on to other things. thank you for everything <3

#important #liz peeps™#tickling

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alheria · 10 months

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The struggles of being in love (one-shot)

Jace couldn't sleep without his parabatai anymore.

It started the night after Alec got seriously injured during eradication of a shockingly large demonic nest that somehow managed to grow to this unbelievable size without anyone noticing. Near the end of the heated fight, a sharp claw pierced the archer's shoulder dangerously close to the heart, although not too deep. But witnessing it from an awkward angle while standing far away, Jace couldn't know it wasn't, in fact, a deadly wound. He felt the intense, mirrored by their bond pain, heard his best friend curse loudly as he slayed the beast, and simply assumed the worst. Raw fear flooded his already adrenaline-high body upon seeing the archer's hopeless attempt to stop the profound bleeding. Despite the pressure, blood kept pouring through his fingers all over the black leather jacket, and onto the concrete floor. They caught very panicked eye contact, and everything that followed became a blur, which faded only when Alec was safely sitting in the infirmary, having his injury properly taken care of.

Apparently, because Jace didn't remember clearly, all the way from the abandoned factory to the Institute, he refused to leave his parabatai's side, tightly held onto the healthy arm and threatened with violence everyone wanting to separate them, even the medic just trying to help.

Somehow, the damage being nicely patched up did not make the Shadowhunter feel any better. Many trusted people, including the victim himself, assured there was nothing to worry about, yet he wouldn't calm down, his heart raced impossibly fast, lungs refused to take in full breaths, foggy mind played the traumatic situation on repeat.

Alec almost died.

That dreadful thought followed him the whole day, preventing from focusing on anything other than the possibility of losing his precious parabatai. Would he even survive that? Their connection has been so strong since the moment they met, it sometimes felt like one's death could easily claim the other. The bond became so deep over years, the edges started to slowly blend as they grew closer. Too close, some might say, if they only dared to speak up, fearing enraging the unhinged warrior.

It wouldn't be a lie though, a few months ago their hearts began to beat a little faster whenever they stood next to each-other, skin burned after every single touch, precious runes ached uncomfortably when apart for a long time. Overwhelmed by strange sensations, a week before the archer’s accident, the two confused Shadowhunters finally sat down in private to have a chat, perhaps figure out what was happening to them, and that's when the line got crossed.

Love has been confessed.

Hearing Alec's voice break as he explained how he cannot hide those unbearable feelings anymore and apologising for having them in the first place, Jace’s heart shattered into pieces. The fact someone he shared a soul with was ashamed of falling in love made him nauseous.

After all, it was unavoidable.

Unable to listen to that horrible, extremely pointless rant, he grabbed the archer's face and kissed him until their lungs ran out of air. Then proceeded to convince his parabatai this is not a one-sided feeling. Which was harder than it should be. Alec couldn't comprehend being an object of Jace's adoration because apparently, he did not deserve to be loved.

In reality, he deserved the world. And Jace was planning on giving him just that.

-You know I can feel you staring? -Alec groaned, cracking open his tired eyes to look at the barely visible intruder lurking in the dark.

They’ve been sleeping together every night since they confessed, however knowing he’s very clingy, the younger Shadowhunter decided to stay in his room to not unconsciously hurt his boyfriend further. It was a terrible idea. For some unknown reason, he was insanely concerned the love of his life could die in his sleep from that not life-threatening injury, which ultimately prevented him from being able to sleep.

-I’m sorry. I just…I had to check. -he admitted, nervously playing with the hem of his oversized hoodie.

-Jace… -the archer sighed heavily. -C’mere babe. -he ordered while pulling the blanket up in a welcoming manner. Hesitating only a little, although unable to refuse, Jace obediently climbed onto the bed and plastered himself to his best friend’s naked chest. His hand instinctively travelled to the wound, fingers gently slid through the bandage before travelling down towards the familiar rune and staying there, seeking comfort through direct touch while he tried to have some rest. -Your overthinking is making me nervous. -Alec added a few minutes later, unable to fall back asleep due to prominent anxiety resonating from their sacred connection. -What’s wrong sweetheart? -he hummed, gently brushing aside those golden strands covering the wide open, two-coloured eyes.

-...this shouldn’t have happened. -Jace whispered, pressing onto the raised scar as he began to trace the symbol in an attempt to calm himself down.

-I agree. I made a mistake. -the archer responded quietly, his heart breaking at the sensation of cold tears dropping onto his warm skin.

-I should’ve protected you.

-I’m my own responsibility.

-Bullshit! -Jace barked, furiously wiping his cheeks whilst his boyfriend tightened the hold around his tense shoulders. -We’re parabatai, we share the responsibility!

-You’re right. We are parabatai. So why on the angel can’t you feel through our bond that everything is alright? -Alec asked, irritation clear in his otherwise soft tone. -I’m alive, Jace. Stop worrying and go to sleep, I can tell you’re exhausted and so am I. -he added, pressing a delicate kiss to the younger man's head before going back to sleep. -I’ll still be here when you wake up. I promise.

Somewhat comforted by this assurance, Jace's brain finally went silent. In a matter of seconds he was gone, at last getting much needed rest, until someone walked in into the room at an unreasonably early hour and a loud, familiar voice sounded:

-Rise and shine, lovebirds! Ever heard of locking the door?

-Fuck off Iz. -Jace mumbled, absolutely refusing to wake up. He was way too comfortable in this tender, loving embrace to face the harsh reality of being awake.

-Good morning to you too, Jace. -Izzy grinned, carefully sitting down next to her brother. -Hey. How are you feeling? -she wondered, gently touching the bandaged shoulder.

-Sore. -Alec responded vaguely, a painful grimace appearing on his face as he pulled himself up revealed it might hurt more than he was willing to admit. Must have, actually. There was no way it didn’t.

-I bet. Having all that extra weight on you surely didn’t help. -his sister snorted, referring to the clingy Shadowhunter holding onto his boyfriend’s waist. -What about you, Jace? You lost your shit a little yesterday. -she observed, playfully ruffling the blond hair of the half-asleep man.

-Better. -he murmured while happily leaning into the hand fondly rubbing his spine.

-Wow, nice talking to you guys, great chat. -Isabelle rolled her eyes. Still, she was thrilled her favourite boys stopped being clueless idiots and finally got together. As they should've years ago. -I’m gonna keep an eye on the Institute today, so you two get some rest.

-Thanks Izzy. -the archer smiled, immensely grateful for having uninterrupted time to spend with his boyfriend and make sure he’s not going crazy from all that unreasonable guilt clearly eating him alive.

-No problem. -the Shadowhunter winked as she got up. -But don’t think you won’t owe me one!

Once Iz left, the couple didn't move for a good half an hour. In complete silence they enjoyed each-other’s presence, soaked into the idyllic softness of their peaceful bond. This was truly an otherworldly experience, loving and being loved by someone whose soul you could actually feel with your own. Like if you were wrapped in a thick, fluffy blanket on a freezing cold night.

-Jace, baby, as much as I love having you so close, I need you to take off that hoodie. -Alec requested, unable to stand the overwhelming warmth anymore. His boyfriend snorted loudly in response and slowly pulled himself up.

-Feeling kinky today? -he teased as he got onto his knees to remove the problematic piece of clothing. -This time it could be your mom walking in here. -pointed out, but the archer didn’t seem to listen, his gaze focused on the muscular abdomen, fingers instinctively migrated towards their shared rune, began to trace the dark lines. Jace froze in place, leaned into the pleasant touch and whined loudly when suddenly, that large palm squeezed his covered penis, causing a strong jolt of arousal to go through his now fully awakened body.

-Sit on my thighs. -Alec ordered and the other Shadowhunter obediently complied, very happy this morning took such a turn. The archer swiftly pulled his parabatai’s sweatpants down, revealing the quickly growing erection. But instead of grabbing that needy penis and giving it some delightful strokes, he took out his own, equally aroused manhood, and said:

-Touch yourself, I'm going to watch.

And just like that, Jace’s heart started to beat like crazy, blood rushed to his cock, hardening it impossibly fast. Clouded with raw desire, he wrapped his fingers around the twitching dick and promptly began the show, pleasured himself while his boyfriend masturbated to the erotic view.

He's never done anything like that before. Sex was always simply fucking or being fucked. Not once the idea of jerking off in someone’s lap came through his mind.

What. A. Shame.

-Fuck, you’re so beautiful. -Alec hummed, looking at that adorably flushed face, those hazy eyes and involuntarily thrusting hips. He wanted to hear those bitten off moans oh, so bad, but since the room wasn’t currently soundproofed, they had to keep it reasonably quiet. Which wasn't easy considering how good this felt. Soon both began to feel orgasm approach, their movements frantic, bodies desperate for release, insanely hungry gazes locked right before the archer gave the last order:

-Make yourself come.

As instructed, the younger man sped up the strokes and soon came all over his chiselled abs while the other finished a moment later, pushed over the edge by that delicious, mind-blowing sight.

-Jace sweetheart, you okay? -asked the older Shadowhunter after he recovered, slightly concerned by his boyfriend’s spaced out expression.

-Yeah, I just…never been ordered around in bed before. -Jace whispered, still shaken up by what just happened.

-Shit. I’m so sorry if I crossed a line. -Alec cursed, realising he didn't ask for any consent. So far they've had sex only a few times, thus were yet to learn how to properly approach the intimacy part. -I got carried away.

-No! Don’t be sorry, that was fucking amazing! -the blonde eagerly shook his head. -I’m gonna need more of that in the future. -murmured, leaning down to steal a long, breathtaking kiss from his overjoyed man’s flushed face. -And here I thought I knew everything about you. -he grinned once they parted.

Knowing his parabatai had zero previous experience, it was fascinating to watch him discover what works for him best. So full of that overpowering joy, he let himself get dragged to the shower for a much-needed clean up and a spontaneous second round.

Unfortunately, from that point, the initial bliss of a brand-new relationship began to fade, and things started to change.

They’ve met Clary.

She was nice, full of Jace-like energy, and completely alone. Which made him relate to her so much. The two of them quickly became friends, and he felt somewhat obliged to help her find her mother. It felt like the right thing to do. At least he thought so, because Alec was openly against it. According to him, this was reckless, dangerous and should come to an immediate stop. This caused a rather nasty argument ending with the younger, pissed off Shadowhunter shedding angry tears until utterly exhausted he fell asleep in his boyfriend’s arms because, despite being on the opposite side, the archer was essentially the only person who could calm him down.

Upon learning why Jace was so adamant about helping Clary, Alec backed off, however the bitterness stayed, creating this uncomfortable tension between everyone in the team. Whenever asked about it by his parabatai, he insisted everything is fine. So irritated with that lack of clarity, the Shadowhunter decided to seek insight from someone who might have known the reason behind his best friend’s strange behaviour.

-Hey, Iz, do you know what’s been going on with Alec recently? He seems angry, but keeps saying it’s nothing. -Jace inquired as he entered the armoury where Izzy had been sharpening a sword.

-Are you stupid or something, Jace? -she responded, shooting him a rather disappointed look. -He’s obviously jealous.

-...of what? -the Shadowhunter frowned, honestly surprised by such a strange assumption.

-Thanks for answering my question. -Isabelle snorted, returning to the interrupted task. -Dunno, maybe that new, pretty girl you’ve been hanging out with all the time lately? -she suggested. -Is that fancy bond of yours actually working? How can you be so clueless?

Oh.

OH!

Him and Clary.

Yeah.

That made a lot of sense.

Whilst there was absolutely nothing between them but friendship, from the outside it surely could look like a closer relationship, based on the amount of time the two of them had been spending together, and them being very comfortable around each-other. Nevertheless, Jace was absolutely not interested in anyone who wasn’t his current boyfriend. Alec was the love of his life, no one else existed.

Suspecting the archer might need to be told this directly, he immediately went to look for his parabatai to at last resolve their newfound issue. The older Shadowhunter was, as expected, in the training room, throwing punches into a bag like every single time something was troubling him. The furious look in his eyes only confirmed the suspicions.

-Babe, are you jealous of Clary? -Jace asked blatantly, aware that being straightforward with his best friend always brought best results.

-N-no?! -Alec exclaimed, trying to look shocked, although the prompt appearance of a blush on his cheeks instantly gave the truth away. What the Shadowhunter decided to ignore. He didn't care that Alec was jealous, he just wanted him to feel comfortable communicating such feelings instead of bottling them up.

-Okay. -the blonde nodded understandingly before adding:

-You know I love you, right?

Hearing that, the archer’s nervous expression brightened up.

-Yeah, I know. -he smiled, in such an adorable, loving way, it made Jace’s heart flutter.

-Good. Keep that in mind, alright?

-I will. -Alec agreed. -Jace, wait. -he then sighed when his parabatai turned around to leave. -I was jealous. I’m sorry.

-Don’t apologise. -the blonde shook his head as he started to walk towards the older man. -It’s actually pretty hot to think you love me so much, you cannot stand seeing me being a little too friendly with other people.

-I just got you. The idea of losing you is driving me crazy. -the archer revealed, angry tears clouding his sight. It was painful to watch the person he loved be so insecure about their relationship that was supposedly rock solid.

-Don’t worry babe, I’m all yours. -Jace assured, firmly squeezing the sweaty palm. -Soul and body. -he added, suggestively pressing his boyfriend’s hand to his already growing erection. The Shadowhunter’s glossy eyes instantly darkened upon feeling the sizable bulge form under his light touch.

-Someone could seriously walk in on us. -he pointed out, however didn't let go, rather put more pressure on the covered penis, causing the younger man to moan quietly.

-Not if we lock the door. -the blonde grinned, and Alec seemed to like this simple solution. He joined their lips in a heated kiss and quickly walked them backwards, towards the entrance he locked when Jace’s back hit the door.

Their starved lips didn’t part for a while, hands greedily explored the skin while hips rubbed their hard dicks together. They haven’t had sex for a while, not solely due to their issues, the mission turned out to be more physically demanding than anyone imagined. So most nights the two of them would pass out in a loose embrace, too tired for anything intimate.

-Get on your knees, now. -Alec ordered as he abruptly pulled away, and oh, Jace did not hesitate for a second. He dropped onto the floor, although despite itching all over, refrained from doing anything else until explicitly told so. The archer seemed to like that obedient behaviour. His palm promptly disappeared inside the sweatpants, began to stroke the hard cock while slowly taking it out.

-Open up. -he demanded, free hand firmly grabbing the younger man’s chin and tilting it up before sliding his penis deep inside his boyfriend’s throat. The blonde instantly swallowed, causing his parabatai to groan a little too loudly. Clearly satisfied with that unexpected occurrence, Alec immediately entangled his long fingers into those soft, golden strands and began to fuck into Jace’s flushed face like if he was a sex toy, not a person who needs to breathe.

Nevertheless, the kneeling Shadowhunter did not mind at all. Being treated as a tool serving a sole purpose of delivering pleasure to someone he loved was actually really fucking hot. The fact the archer looked like a fucking snack only added to the erotic experience. His head was tilted backwards, dark, glossy eyes half-open, sweaty muscles covered in runes flexed as he thrust. That view itself could make Jace come if he only dared to reach inside his own pants. He knew too well if he behaves, his parabatai will reward him in the most divine way.

-Fuck! -Alec cursed when the younger man’s throat contracted on his tip particularly tight. -Fuck, baby, I’m going to come. -he growled, his movements speeding up, choking the kneeling Shadowhunter with their roughness. Soon enough, those hips pushed far forward, pressing deep inside as the intense release came. -Your turn. -the satisfied archer smirked upon withdrawing. He then dropped to the ground, pushed his heavily breathing boyfriend to the door and kissed him while his hands quickly worked the strained zipper open.

Jace’s mind nearly blanked at the euphoric sensation of those long, slim fingers touching his throbbing erection, failed, however, to stop a particularly loud whine when they began to gently spread pre-cum on the sensitive tip. With a grin on his flushed face, Alec parted their lips and backed away to get better access to the rock hard cock he leaned towards and swallowed whole without any warning, forcing his parabatai to spill a sea of curses whilst his hands entangled in those sweaty, dark strands. He kept pulling them as his penis slid on the warm, wet tongue into the contracting throat. It felt so good there was no way he was lasting long. Within seconds the orgasm started building, and shortly after went through his body like an electric shock, blinding his eyes and blocking lungs the entire time he spilled in his boyfriend’s mouth.

-Damn, babe, you’re going to kill me one day. -Jace laughed, trying to catch a breath as his boyfriend shifted to sit beside him.

-Says who? -the archer smiled, resting his head on the shorter Shadowhunter’s shoulder. -Thank you for being so patient with me. -he whispered, grabbing his parabatai’s hand and giving it a squeeze.

-You’re my world, Alec. I’ll never give up on you. -the younger man assured, pressing a fond kiss to his best friend’s head. He loved him way too much to let some minor obstacles break them apart.

Way. Too. Much.

And as it turned out, having regular sex, no matter how quick and messy, was essential to keeping their relationship drama-free. Since the hardship passed, with every single day their feelings resumed growth, bond began to strengthen further. They shortly started to discover changes in shared abilities, like suddenly being able to activate each-other runes. Being unable to seek any information on the subject, all the couple could do was to explore those skills and hope nothing bad happens. But as it might’ve been expected, soon enough they ran out of luck.

It started with the crew getting ready to head out to scout a suspected demon nest. Alec and Jace like usual were drawing their runes in seclusion when the door flew wide open, revealing a very not amused Maryse Lightwood.

-I need to see you both in my office. Immediately. -she informed coldly before promptly disappearing from sight, leaving the two half-naked Shadowhunters absolutely horrified.

They had no idea what to expect. It could be anything from a simple warning to getting forcefully separated or even executed. Nevertheless, the pair got dressed, shared their possibly last kiss and promptly went to face the unknown.

-Sit and listen. -Maryse ordered, and the duo obediently complied. -It's my understanding that the two of you have developed romantic feelings for each-other and refuse to ignore them. -she observed, briefly stopping the Shadowhunters’ nervously beating hearts. -I won’t oppose something you have no control over, but I need you to keep it a secret. You know the rules and dire consequences of breaking them. Maybe we do not have the best relationship these days, but you’re my children, and I cannot imagine losing either of you. So please, low profile, don’t make anyone question the closeness of your relation. You’re parabatai, you’re family, you’re certainly not a couple. Is that clear?

The boys only nodded in response, slightly shocked with what their mother just said. They expected the worst case scenario, certainly not an…approval?

-I’m sorry it has to be this way. -Maryse whispered, resignation clear in her eyes. There was nothing she could’ve done but make sure their forbidden relationship stays hidden in order to keep them safe.

-Yeah, we're sorry too. -Alec agreed as they began to get up. -Thanks mom, for you know…not freaking out. -he added, making her smile.

-Go before I change my mind.

Incredibly confused by this non-hostile conversation, although pleased with the outcome, the two Shadowhunters left the office and happily returned to their interrupted mission preparations.

-I still can’t believe Maryse was so chill about finding out. -Jace shook his head, struggling to grasp the concept of them not getting instantly murdered or at least disowned.

-She probably knew longer than we have. -the archer pointed out. -But can we like also not talk about my mother while I’m balls-deep in your cute ass? -he sighed, nudging the side of his parabatai’s neck while his hips pressed forward, making them both moan from the immense pleasure this movement caused.

-Sorry, I’m just still in shock. -the blonde chuckled, melting under the gentle kisses being peppered along his upper spine.

-Mhm, let me distract you then. -Alec suggested, and without any warning, bit hard into his boyfriend’s shoulder, breaking the skin and forcing out a delightful whine.

Jace’s mind quickly began to get fuzzy, limbs went numb. All he could feel was the comforting weight of the archer’s muscular body as he penetrated him impossibly deep, his movements painfully slow and extremely precise, mercilessly hitting those sweet spots that made the younger Shadowhunter whimper in ecstasy.

-Alec…faster…please. -he muttered into the pillow, too horny for them taking their sweet time. The fact they didn’t die today pumped him up full of sexual energy he needed to get rid of ASAP.

-Nope. -Alec disagreed. -We’re gonna take it veeeeery slowly. -he whispered into his parabatai’s ear while demonstrating the new, infuriating pace.

Nevertheless, it felt so fucking good, Jace didn't express any disapproval, willingly allowed his partner to overstimulate him with unrushed tenderness so contradictory to their preferred hasty roughness. Every single thrust deep into his tight insides made his leaking, trapped between his stomach and the mattress cock slide through the silky sheets, an utmost euphoric sensation that quickly brought him to the edge.

-Babe! -he whimpered through the tears of frustrations clouding his eyes. He was unbelievably close, yet not exactly there, in dire need of just a little more stimuli to cross the line and fall right into orgasm’s blissful embrace.

Luckily, the archer understood the assignment perfectly, without changing positions began to fuck his boyfriend so hard and deep he nearly choked when the release hit him unexpectedly and with such force he would’ve screamed in pleasure if his poor throat didn’t close shut. Truly, a mind-fucking-blowing experience.

-Oh man, I think I’m in love with you. -the blonde exhaled heavily after rolling onto his back, his limbs tingling from the prolonged lack of movement.

-Think? You so are. -Alec chuckled, plastering himself to his lover’s sweaty chest, happily leaning into the warm hand fondly rubbing his spine. It was very healing, just them two sharing a silent moment following an earth-shattering sex. At those rare times nothing existed but their forbidden love they could never take outside a closed room.

-I want us to redo our runes. -Jace informed out of nowhere, surprising them both with this proposition.

He actually thought about this before, deepening their already strong bond by carving it into each-other's bodies with blades. This wasn't by any means a recognized technique, rarely even mentioned in old scrolls, but there was no harm, other than physical, in trying. They've already broken all the rules, might as well do something utterly outrageous for the sake of their happiness.

-What? -the archer frowned, glancing up at the younger man in slight confusion. -You mean…the parabatai runes?

-Yup. -the blonde confirmed confidently. -I wanna do it properly, old school blood exchange.

-Okay. Let’s do it. -the older Shadowhunter’s face instantly brightened up as he was clearly overjoyed with this unconventional, but utterly romantic idea. He then swiftly pulled himself up and joined their lips in a tender, affectionate kiss before adding:

-Let’s renew our vows.

That didn't happen right away of course. Helping Clary find her mother turned out to be more complicated and demanding than any of them anticipated. Weeks went by before the couple managed to get some free, alone time to proceed with this symbolic ceremony.

-I can't believe we're doing this. -Alec shook his head as they kneeled down in front of each-other in some long forgotten basement room, away from interruptions and unwanted witnesses. -In a good way. -he clarified, seeing a flash of uncertainty in his best friend’s eyes.

-Me too. -Jace whispered, his heart overflowing with warm emotions. He was so happy this was finally happening, them becoming even more than they already were. -I love you, Alexander Gideon Lightwood. -he smiled, his eyes tearing up already.

-I love you too, Jonathan Christopher Lightwood. -the archer grinned, gently wiping away a single tear flowing down his life-partner’s face.

-I don't recall us getting married. -the blonde frowned playfully, his cheeks instantly turning bright red. The sole thought of them becoming husbands was too much for him. But if they only could, he would’ve married him in a heartbeat. No doubts, no hesitations. They were destined to be together, marriage at this point would be a pure formality.

-What do you think this is then? -Alec chuckled, gently poking his boyfriend’s parabatai rune with the tip of the knife. -I can’t wait for our connection to get even stronger. -he whispered, slowly pressing the sharp blade harder, puncturing the thick skin on top of the dark scarring, making the younger man gasp at the painful, but certainly pleasant sensation.

In amazement, he watched the archer skillfully carve the familiar shape onto the existing pattern, line by line bringing them closer. Jace could sense their connection deepen with every drop of blood shed. His whole body was burning, spirit vibrating, brain crashing from this overpowering, intoxicating feeling. It was impossible to describe the emotions going through him at that moment. Truly, a heavenly experience.

He was so overwhelmed by it, he didn't even notice when Alec finished carving the rune, completed the first half of their sacred ritual.

-You okay my love? -the archer asked quietly, gently pulling the trembling, sobbing Shadowhunter into an affectionate hug in an attempt to calm him down before they proceed any further.

-Better than ever. -the blonde murmured, resting his pounding head on the archer's shoulder. For some reason, he couldn’t stop crying, the amount of love pouring into his chest was messing him up in the best way possible. -I don't wanna wait. -he whispered shortly after, firmly pushing himself away and confidently grabbing the bloody knife. -Your turn.

The second he pressed the blade to that chiselled abdomen, his wide open soul began to merge with the one of his beloved parabatai, instantly hazing his sight and numbing his nerves. By sole muscle memory he traced the rune, wrapping them in blissful warmth and divine ecstasy the closer he was to its end. And when he finally got there, an explosion occurred in their racing hearts. They blindly dropped into each-other's arms, holding on for dear lives whilst the euphoric wave flooded their spinning minds and shaking bodies.

It wasn’t anything like their official ceremony. The strength of those confessed emotions raised the intensity through the roof, shattering their world and building it anew. Everything they felt didn’t belong only to them anymore, as if the bond evolved, melting two separate spirits into one. It made both no sense and perfect sense.

-We share a soul, there is nothing that can separate us. -Alec murmured, withdrawing from the hug to pull his partner into his arms. -Not even death. -he added, pressing a featherlight kiss to those bright strands.

Jace didn’t say a word. There was no need to. He melted into the touch, silently enjoyed the soft affection resonating through his boyfriend’s skin and allowed himself to forget, just for a moment, that their beautiful feelings are a sin, one they will eventually have to pay for.

But not today.

And when that time comes, there will be no regrets.

Because this short love story was definitely worth a tragic ending.

#alec x jace #shadowhunters fanfiction #m/m smut #m/m #ao3fic

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milla984 · 2 years

Text

Merry Christmas, Dr. Reid

Summary: just some Xmas fluff, because I needed it

Pairing: Spencer Reid x gn!reader

Category: fluff

TW/CW: brief mention of opioids abuse, anxiety disorders and depression

Word Count: 1.9k

This work is part of the series Spencer Reid, my beloved

“Thank you for doing this.”

Spencer’s voice broke a little as he gripped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles almost turned white. “I had no right to ask—”

“You didn’t even need to ask. I knew something was wrong the minute I picked up the phone,” you replied, well conscious of the terrible state he was in.

He let out a deep sigh and muttered under his breath. “And I’m supposed to be the expert.”

“We’re friends. I don’t need profiling skills to figure out what’s going on,” you reassured, worried about the circles around his eyes that looked darker than ever. “How is she doing?”

“I— I don’t think I’m ready to talk about it, not yet. If I say it out loud…”

“It becomes real,” you added, and he gave a small nod in silent agreement.

Diana wasn’t doing good at Bennington. Her mental condition had begun to deteriorate at an alarming rate and two days before her caregivers had been forced to restrain her. That’s when you had received a call from Spencer, asking you to fly to Las Vegas - which meant only one thing: he’d been considering using Dilaudid again.

“Don’t get me wrong, I know this is just a cognitive bias. My emotional mind is trying to dismiss any mention of her dementia because I can’t figure out what I’m supposed to do to help her,” he blurted out, pain and guilt seeping through his words.

You leaned towards him and put a hand on his right shoulder. “You know you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself, right? You don’t have to come up with a solution today, or tomorrow… and definitely not on your own.”

Spencer still wasn’t a huge fan of unexpected physical contact, even though he had a propensity to tolerate reasonable amounts of affection shown by the members of the team from time to time. He quickly turned his head to meet your glance, then his eyes went back to the road. “Sorry you had to miss Christmas with your family.”

“For Pete’s sake, Reid,” you cried out, somewhat frustrated at this point, “I told you, I wasn’t planning on going anyway.”

“Because of—” he tried to ask, but you cut him off mid-sentence.

“Yes,” you snapped, only to regret doing it less than a split second later.

Your inner demons had resurfaced weeks before, apparently triggered by a moment in your life when you almost felt safe and secure in a bubble of temporary happiness you’d created for yourself; Spencer had been the one showing up at your door for no apparent reason, several times, with a tin can full of homemade chocolate chip cookies under one arm (courtesy of Penelope, of course) and an impressive selection of Gothic novels stashed in his leather bag.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to,” you admitted, feeling a bit ashamed of your own reaction. “I just don’t feel like spending a whole week pretending everything’s fine, but I don’t think they should know the truth either.”

“Mood disorders and anxiety disorders are extremely common among individuals with an elevated IQ. About 20% of the highest ranking members of Mensa reported having been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and nearly 27% had been diagnosed with a mood disorder such as major depression or bipolar disorder,” he rambled, and for a solid minute after his short lecture you both kept staring at the Strip as a mutual confirmation you knew all too well how mental health could be affected by one’s intellect.

“Changing the topic of this conversation,” you said, when the awkward silence grew unbearable, “show me what Vegas boys like to do to loosen up. A quick trip to the Bellagio, maybe?”

Spencer snorted and shook his head, his soft curls bouncing in the process. “Uh, actually the only thing I can enjoy at the Bellagio is their fountain show. My card-counting ability is frowned upon, to say the least, so I’ve been banned from casinos, here. And in Pahrump. And Laughlin,” he explained. His disgruntled expression soon turned into a confused one, as you put a hand over your mouth and laughed at the thought. “What’s so funny?”

“They’re running a business based on a series of calculated equations and algorithms which are clearly meant to favor the house, but they cannot handle your knowledge in the field of statistics and math. You can beat them at their own game without even cheating,” you smirked, “you’re a wild one.”

He smirked in return. “Glad you noticed. In fact, I might have a wild idea about what to do in Vegas on Christmas evening.”

“This isn’t at all what I had in mind. I just thought we could try their Verbena cocktail,” he whined half an hour later while he struggled with the laces of his rental boots. “In retrospect, I can safely say coming here was a terrible idea.”

You straightened yourself up and shrugged. “I second that.”

“Then give me a number of valid reasons why we’re still doing it...?” he replied, standing up with his ankles wobblier than a cup of his beloved Jell-O.

“One: it’s out of your comfort zone,” you said before leading the way to the skating rink along a removable metallic ramp.

He clutched the handrail and walked slowly in the same direction. “Drinking is out of my comfort zone, too! Can we stick to the original plan so I don’t end up breaking my neck?!”

“Two,” you counted, lowering your voice to make sure only Spencer could hear you over the loud music, “you’ve been issued a firearm by the Government and you’re granted National Security clearances. This is just solidified water, show it who’s the boss.”

“May I point out none of these sounded reasonable enough?” he said, still holding onto the handrail. Then he paused for a few moments. “Are you sure you’ve done this before?”

You took one small step on the ice and waited for your knees to adjust to the slick surface in order to maintain your balance. Luckily your legs only needed a bit of patience to remember how to glide on one foot, so you felt brave enough to take a second and third step, moving towards the railing.

“I used to do it every winter, with my cousins, until I turned eleven and got too cool to waste my time on childish activities, I guess,” you answered, offering him your hand as he stepped foot onto the ice as well.

Spencer hesitated for a split second before grasping your wrist and you were forced to hold him by both hands in an upright position to prevent him from going down like a sack of potatoes. “Meaning the last time you actually ice skated was in 199—” he started to estimate, but you gave him a light smack as a reminder that he was in no position to take any further risks.

“Don’t push it, wunderkind!” you warned him, while a group of teenagers brushed past you in a swift motion.

Spencer stared at the frozen water under his feet. “Funny of you to say, because in the analysis of ice skating according to physics laws one of the fundamental forces to take into consideration is sliding friction, which has to be negligible to zero in order to make the phenomenon possible.”

“Also, it’s a fairly common misconception that ice is slippery under an ice skate because the pressure exerted along the blade lowers the melting temperature of the surface and creates a thin layer of water,” he added, taking baby steps on his own with his boots slightly bent inwards.

“I think most people believe we can skate on ice just because it’s slippery. Nothing more than that.”

“Well, it’s not wrong. Water molecules on the ice surface don’t have other molecules above them to keep them in place so they vibrate more and remain in a liquid state even at very low temperatures. And the notion that ice has an intrinsic liquid layer is an old concept, it was first proposed by Faraday in 1850,” he said, then he raised his head and realized you were both halfway through the perimeter of the rink, now. “Wait, am I rambling again?!”

You shrugged, fighting the urge to remind him his rambling didn’t bother you at all. “Looks like it helps.”

“Really …?” he questioned, but a sudden movement behind your back caught you by surprise: a couple of skaters came out of nowhere, pushing you forward with a startled ‘oooofff’ before you could even react - let alone maneuver Spencer out of your way. He nearly went flying over the railing and wrapped his arms around your waist in a desperate attempt to keep his balance, so that you found yourself pressed against his chest.

“You okay?” he managed to articulate between giggles.

You puffed, trying to catch your breath. “Lesson learned: never turn your back to the rink. How ‘bout you?”

“I’m fine,” he giggled again, the sound of his laugh bringing your ears joy and the delicate scent of his aftershave giving you butterflies in your stomach.

You couldn’t help but notice he wasn’t letting go of your coat. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah! It really is just a matter of physics, I’d like to try again,” he replied, “after a short break, maybe.”

Reluctantly, you anchored yourself to the railing with your left arm and put some distance between the two of you. “Alright.”

Spencer remained silent for a while, looking around: the pool on the rooftop of The Cosmopolitan served as an ice rink during the holiday season, illuminated by cold blue spotlights and neon which reflected on the giant palm plants placed all around the balustrade. On the opposite side, the Paris Las Vegas Hotel and Casino and Planet Hollywood Resort towered above the nearest buildings.

“Now that I think about it, I’ve lived in Vegas for so many years and I’ve never been up here until today,” he observed, “it’s definitely overpriced, overcrowded, the music’s too loud… but I’m happy we’re doing this.”

“I’m happy you’re happy,” you responded, then you proceeded to gently nudge him with your elbow. “And by the way, Penelope got me a little something. Thank you, I love it.”

He looked at you with a puzzled look on his face and you bit your lower lip, amazed at the audacity - that was a lying frown and he wasn’t going to get away with it so easily. “Wilde’s Salome, illustrated by Aubrey Beardsley?! Someone pointed her in the right direction.”

Spencer cracked a timid smile. “I know how you feel about Art Nouveau.”

“And I know we said no presents, still…” you replied while you searched your pockets for a small, bean-shaped plush tied with a purple ribbon. “Merry Christmas, Dr. Reid.”

His microexpressions confirmed he was genuinely surprised this time. “An orthomyxovirus?!” he asked, holding it on his palm.

You nodded. “Commonly known as ‘the flu’, yes.”

“This must be the world’s cutest parasite,” he laughed, “it’s adorable.”

“Harmless, too. It can’t be transferred with a handshake,” you remarked as you offered him your hand again while you skated away from the railing. “Let’s put your physics laws into practice.”

Spencer smiled and held tight, almost as if his whole life depended on it. “Did you know that ice formed by water behaves strangely at lower temperatures and higher pressures? H₂O is basically a simple molecule, two hydrogen atoms connected to a central oxygen atom in a V-shape, but when it freezes into ice the molecules line up in a hexagonal pattern and this is why snowflakes all have a six-sided design.”

You smiled back, with a new consciousness blossoming in your heart: you were falling hard and fast for Dr. Spencer Reid.

In case you are wondering... yes, GIANTmicrobes actually sells plushies shaped like viruses, germs, bacteria and organs!

»»»— read pinned post for taglist info —«««

»—— Gifset Masterlist link in my bio ——«

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x gn!reader #spencer reid x reader cm #dr spencer reid x reader #cm #criminalminds #spencer reid fic #reid x reader #dr spencer reid #Dr Reid #criminal minds #christmas fluff #christmas romance #ice skating #my gifs #milla writes stuff

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the-devils-girl94 · 3 years

Text

Distracting Thoughts

Prompt: Stranded On A Boat

Characters: Beelzebub x Fem!MC

Content Warnings: Masturbation, MC has thalassophobia(a fear of the ocean and other large bodies of water), MC fantasizing about Beel, lots of smutty good times with Beel

(I like how there is a word for how I feel about large bodies of water. Did not expect it to be this long ass word though.)

Another fic for @voltage-vixen ‘s Summer of Smut challenge! Enjoy!

“How on Earth did I end up in this mess?”

A heavy sigh left your lips and you buried your face into your hands.

Right now, you were stuck in the middle of the sea on a boat that Lord Diavolo had outright purchased. Not everything was going so bad, but you wouldn’t be feeling so slighted if everything was going good either.

Oh no, no. It was simply terrible.

For one thing, while you weren’t in immediate danger, being stuck in the middle of the freaking ocean was downright terrifying! All you could think of was scary scenarios of you drowning in this never-ending sea. Like the boat could sink and you could drown, you could fall over the edge and drown, or you could fall over the edge and a nearby shark could see you as a tasty snack and that could be your end. Your mind just kept coming up with the most exaggerated and impossible one-in-a-million chance scenarios that really did no good for you.

You hated being anywhere near large bodies of water, but there was one thing that kept some of the thoughts at bay. And that was you weren’t entirely alone.

You sat on the back deck of the boat Diavolo had purchased, far away from either edge that you didn’t want to be near, and before you was the ever-so lively Demon Brothers of the House of Lamentation. In short, your lively roommates who just make everything so much better...sometimes. Lord Diavolo and Barbatos was there as well but they mostly kept to themselves with Diavolo mostly sunbathing.

Your mind felt more at ease with the guys around since you knew if any of the scenarios did happen, they would not hesitate to immediately step in to save you. Though you still hope it would never have to come to that in the first place. You felt most safe around Beelzebub, the sixth born.

Your eyes caught him in the pool that was several feet away from you. He was joined by his twin and locked in a fierce game with the second and third born. Well, you say fierce but its clear that Beelzebub is the victor. Mammon and Leviathan were no match against Beel’s pure strength. And had Belphegor been with anyone else besides his twin, he definitely would not have stood a chance against a team up of his older brothers.

You weren’t too interested in their game play, however. Your eyes were trained on Beel. Even before this boat fiasco, your eyes have never strayed far away from the gluttonous demon. For a long time, you didn’t know if it was a crush or if you’re just naturally drawn to his sweet nature.

“Or maybe that chiseled body of his.”

The tips of your ears grew hot as the thought crept in, replacing your previous anxiety-ridden thoughts. Your mind soon became riddled with images of Beelzebub’s torso. Mostly of his glorious pecs and washboard abs because this demon was built like a freaking Greek God. God knew exactly what he was doing when he made him, but him being a demon made his appeal so much greater! It was, in every sense of the word, sinful.

You were brought back to reality when you heard a large splash and some yelling. You looked up in time to see Levi and Mammon getting flung out of the pool by Beel, all while Belphie napped out on a floating donut. The whole thing brought you to tears as you laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. Mammon had caught you laughing and scolded you.

“Hey, (Y/N)! Don’t laugh, it ain’t funny!,” he yelled, but you continued to chuckle. You felt a little bad, but it was so unexpected as Beel had grabbed them by their feet and literally threw them out.

“(Y/N) witnessed our defeat...how uber lame,” muttered Leviathan as he rubbed his now aching back.

Wiping away your tears, you let out an amused sigh and went off on your own to explore the boat. You were unaware of Beel calling after you as you walked away.

________________________________________________________________

You thought it would be a good idea to explore the boat since Lord Diavolo had bought it and anything he buys is always luxurious. And it was but...

As you wandered the halls, you suddenly understood what sailors meant by sea legs. Although the boat was mostly steady, there would be an occasional gentle rocking of the boat. And had it been anyone else, it would have been fine but no! It completely unsettled you and your thoughts once again became filled with disturbing scenarios of that all ended in you meeting your end in some extreme way or another.

“Oh why did I think it was okay to go off on my own?,” you thought.

Feeling sick to your stomach, you thought it best to just retire to your room and calm your incessant thoughts. You flopped onto your bed and buried your face into your pillow. You hope this day would end so you could finally get off this nightmare. You tried to refocus your mind on something else, because even with you running through every possibility of drowning in every way possible, you were aware that you were in safe hands. None of the brothers would ever let you meet such an end in this never-ending sea full of wonders and mysteries.

You thought back to earlier and found yourself thinking of Beel once more.

The images from earlier made you kick your legs as your face became hot and flushed. You groaned into your pillow with frustration.

“Fuuuuckkkk!,” you screamed internally, feeling slightly ashamed for thinking about Beelzebub in such a manner. But thinking of him did make the other thoughts fade away to the background. Plus you may have a crush on him, so..was it totally wrong to fantasize about him showing up to your room, body dripping with water and looking at you with lust filled eyes?

....Okay, hold up, that actually is kinda hot.

It was the most prevalent image in your head. It made you wonder if you would have the chance to actually have Beel in your room and let him take you. Or maybe have the courage to be that daring?

You felt a tingling sensation between your legs and rolled on your back, blushing. You dwelled on the thought a little more to the point that it became a fantasy. And you imagined Beelzebub crawling towards you on your bed until his face was a couple inches away from yours. His rough hands were on your thighs, lifting them up so your clothed sex could feel the hardness of his bulge clothed from the thin material of his swim shorts.

The heat within your core began to grow and before you knew it, you were already trying to calm the growing heat with your hand. You were craving for the imaginary touch that only existed in your mind. Rubbing against your clit, the fantasy progressed into Beel removing your clothes and pushing his shorts down to free his hardened member. You imagined him stroking his cock against your sensitive slit that was getting wetter and wetter in reality.

Your breathing became heavy and you brought up a free hand to go under your shirt and bra to twist at your nipples. The fantasy continued as you imagined Beel dipping his fingers inside of you, stretching out your pussy to prepare you for him.

Moans started to escape from your lips as your hands worked on your body to bring you the stimulation and release you desperately searched for. You weren’t aware of it but you were also moaning Beel’s name. Apparently you were being a bit loud, because you failed to hear the knocking at your door and the sound of it opening until...

“(Y/N).”

You snapped out of your fantasy-filled haze when you heard your name. Suffice to say, you were extremely embarrassed to find a blushing Beelzebub in your room, half-eaten snacks in his hands. You quickly covered yourself up with a shout, but it was much too late. You were sure that he had saw everything. He probably even heard you too.

“Waah! I’m so fucking embarrassed! Oh my God,” you cringed, trying so hard to fold in on yourself so you could disappear.

“Ah, (Y/N)! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to barge in like that,” he apologized profusely. He saw your covers move a bit but no sign of you poking your head out. You whined as you stammered out, “It’s fine! I should have locked my door. I didn’t mean for you to see me...like that...so.”

Ahhh, if anything was more worse than drowning in an ocean where your body likely won’t be found, it was definitely having your crush walk in on you masturbating to him. Ok, maybe not that much worse but still! Tears began to well up in your eyes and you fully expected for Beelzebub to walk out as this situation must have been a bit awkward. But instead you felt your bed dip in a bit as another weight was added. A hand was placed on your back and started rubbing in circles. Your lip trembled as your tears fell, because WHY WAS HE SO FREAKING SWEET!?

Yeah, you were definitely crushing on him. This is why he was the only one on the crush list.

Beelzebub could feel you trembling and his face was still red from walking in on you. Though if he had to admit it, seeing you like that really turned him on. And to hear you moan his name so wantonly was like music to his ears. But he still felt bad because it was your private time that he interrupted. All because he wanted to hang out with you since he wanted to do so earlier, but you didn’t hear him calling after you.

But now there was a massive elephant in the room and neither of you knew how to bring it up without it becoming more awkward. Or your in case more embarrassed.

“(Y/N)?”

“Yes, Beel?”

“I’m still sorry for earlier. I wanted to hangout, but do...do you want me help you a bit?”

You shot up like a rocket and turned wide-eyed to face a startled Beelzebub, who was feeling a bit pervy for asking you that question. But to you, he didn’t need to feel like that because this was the moment you were thinking of earlier! You started to laugh at the irony, causing Beel to become confused which you noticed.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I’m not laughing at you, Beel!,” you chuckled out. “It was just that earlier I was thinking of what would I do if I had you in my room all to myself.”

At that, the gentle giant smiled at you, understanding why you were laughing. He crawled towards you, his face a few inches from yours. You were smiling but your face grew warm.

“So is it a ‘yes’?,” he asked, though his lips were drawing in close to yours.

“Y-yes-mmph,” his lips had closed in on yours and you felt his hands come up to your shoulders. Sliding off the covers from your body, Beel gently laid you back on the bed. You wrapped your arms around him as he coaxed your mouth open with a bit of prodding from his tongue. You could taste the sweetness of the snacks he had earlier as your tongues became entangled. You gasped when he pulled away.

Beelzebub set his focus on leaving kisses on your neck, starting a trail. He got to your breasts and cupped them in his hands, firmly squeezing them. A squeal escaped from your lips when you felt his wet tongue teasing your nipple. He sucked it into his mouth, pulling before letting it go with a pop.

"Ahhaaa, Beel! Please," you pleaded as he devoured your chest. You couldn't take it with him pulling, twisting, and sucking on your sensitive nubs. Your hands had moved to his forearms and you held a firm grip on them as Beel sucked away.

With a final tug, he left your poor nipples alone, going back to his task of leaving butterfly kisses on your body. Your body trembled with ecstasy but soon jolted from a shock when you felt a wet appendage lapping at your swollen clit.

Once Beel had finished leaving you kisses, he came across your pussy, still wet and glistening from when you were masturbating to him. His eyes darkened as his mind drifted back to that scene of you pleasuring yourself, seeing your delectable juices dripping your core.

He just knew that he had to taste you. To devour such a pretty, pink platter that was meant for him to sample. As soon as his tongue made contact with your clit, he felt you jump but he continued to lap at it, enjoying the taste and fragrance you gave off. You squirmed and your pants started to fill the room. Your toes curled and your feet had a hard time not slipping off your sheets as you encouraged Beel to keep going.

His tongue parted your puffy, pussy lips and he noticed your legs trembling. So he hooked his hands underneath your knees, spreading them further to her better access. He let your legs rest on his shoulders, all the while keeping his mouth on you.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," you chanted over and over as your back arched, wanting to rub your sex over his tongue. You could feel yourself coming undone and on the verge of cumming. Beel's member twitched against the thin fabric of his swim shorts as he could tell your release was imminent, but...

Reluctantly, he pulled away from your pussy. He really wanted you to release all your tasty juices over his cock. He wiped away the mix of his saliva and your own cream from his chin.

You groaned but it turned into a squeak when Beel crawled back on top of you. Your legs were still over his shoulders and so you felt your body being folded in half but it wasn't too uncomfortable. But it aroused you more as you could feel his bulge heavy against your sex. You wanted it inside, for it to stretch your walls as you take every inch Beel gave you. For you to cream all over it so you could lick it off him and he could do it all over again.

Beelzebub's lips pressed against yours and you wasted no time parting your lips so his tongue could share the taste of your pussy. You could feel Beel's hands fumbling to pull down his shorts to let his cock finally breath. His lips never left yours, even as he guided his cock to your hole. You had braced yourself but was pleasantly surprised when he sanked into you with ease, but it still raised a moan out of you as your wall stretched to accommodate him.

Beel broke the kiss to let out a hissing sound as your pussy took him in so smoothly. He could feel you clenching around him, wanting to greedily take in more. But he was fully seated inside you, his balls pressed firmly against the plumpness of your ass.

"Shit...(Y/N), you feel so fucking amazing," he said as he recaptured your lips with his and rocked his hips to get a little friction going. He pulled back until only half of his dick was inside and slammed back into you. He repeated the action a few more times, drawing out moans that ended up getting swallowed up by him.

You pulled away from the kiss to cry out freely as he set a hard, quick pace as his hips connected with yours repeatedly. The slapping sound of your skin colliding overcome the sounds of your moans and cries. Beel couldn't help but groan at the way your pussy tightened around him with every thrust. Your body trembled against his as the heat became overwhelming. Your hands scrambled to grip at something, changing from scratching at Beelzebub's back or balling up your sheets into your fist, as you feared that the pleasure was going to take you away.

The seams were tearing and Beel could feel you were close as your pussy convulsed around him. So he sat up, holding your legs up, and pounded away at you. Your moans turned to screams and chants of Beel's name as his cock wrecked you.

"Beeeeel! I'm cumming, cumming!," you screamed, but it didn't deter him even as your released overflowed on his cock. The consistent clenching of your pussy finally drove him over the edge and his seed coated the inside of your walls, a deep growl erupted from him as he pressed his cock deep inside you.

With the both of you spent for the moment, Beel slipped out of you and collapsed beside you. However, he wrapped his arms around you to bring you closer. You sighed contently, feeling very much satiated as well as Beelzebub.

You felt lips pressing against your forehead and giggled before giving Beel a chaste kiss on the lip.

"That was amazing," you smiled. You saw his cheeks redden and the hug tightens.

"I-I would like to do that again...maybe sometime," spoke the blushing giant as he looked into your eyes.

The tips of your ears turning red as you agreed.

You figured this boat nightmare wasn't too bad as you snuggled up to Beel's chest, wondering if you had the courage to say you like him.

You saved the thought for another day to ponder later.

#obey me!#lexi writes #obey me beelzebub #obey me beelzebub x mc #fem mc #smut #summer of smut #summer of smut challenge #obey me beel #obey me smut

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obeyme-kaidii-writes · 3 years

Text

Greed - Angelic Demons (2/2)

Mammon x gn!MC

Words - 2596

Content warnings - angst, lots of comfort

Prompt/Inspiration - Angelic Demons Event

Summary - Following the events in the “Angelic Demons” event where all the brothers are turned into angels and forced to wear magical bangles that correct their behavior.

You go to check on Mammon to see how he is doing now that he’s reverted back to his demonic self and no longer under the effects of the angelic magic.

AO3 | Part One - Envy

It had been a few days now since the magic from the cursed (because that’s what they were to you) bangles had worn off. Diavolo had also finally removed the outfits so everyone was more or less back to normal. At least, that’s how it appeared at first glance. In reality, Satan was probably the only one you saw much of as everyone else had made themselves scarce, recovering from the stress of being forced to remember their time as angels.

Two demons in particular seemed to have gone even more silent than the rest and you were starting to grow concerned so you had decided to check on them.

“GO AWAY!”

You blinked a few times, processing Mammon’s response to you knocking on his door. You hadn’t expected him to sound so angry. But given the circumstances, you understood why he would be. He may not have been angry with you - but since he was hiding out in his room, yelling at you was probably the only outlet he had.

“Mammon, I need to talk to you. I just want to make sure you’re alright.”

There was no response from Mammon, so you tried the door knob. Much to your surprise it was unlocked, so you let yourself inside. And the sight that greeted you took your breath away.

Now, Mammon’s room had always been sort of a mess. He was impulsive, and easily distracted, so things often got left right where he set them when he went off to do something else. He still managed to maintain a minimal level of cleanliness though. You could always see the floor. There had always been seats on his sofa. The top of his pool table would be visible.

But going into his room now? It looked like something off that TV show Hoarders you used to watch in the human realm. And it wasn’t just things on his floor either (though make no mistake, there were a lot of those). There was trash too - empty noodle cups, soda cans, wine bottles, shipping boxes. You couldn’t understand how someone could acquire so much garbage in so little time.

“Mammon, what the hell happened in here?” your eyes scanned the room, taking in as much as you could of what was before you, “Mammon?” You called out to him again when he didn’t respond. You would have thought he’d have been trying to chase you out, but it seemed that now that you were here and he was instead going to attempt to hide and hope you just went away.

As you looked around for Mammon, you heard the sound of a plastic noodle cup fall to the floor. You turned in the direction of the noise, and there was Mammon, sitting in his bed, bundled up under his blankets, looking intently at his DDD.

“Hey,” you said as you walked towards him, clearing off a space on the bed next to him.

He didn’t acknowledge you, and just kept scrolling through some app on his DDD. You scooted a bit closer to him, so that you were almost touching and your back was against the wall, before leaning over and taking a look at his screen. He was on Akuzon.

Now everything made sense to you. He must have been buying things online and having them delivered straight to his room. Since everyone else had been distracted with their own things, no one had noticed the influx of deliveries. And it had all happened so quickly, you doubt Lucifer had even received the bill yet.

“What are you doing?”

“Shopping.”

“Looking for something in particular?”

“Nope.”

You knew that shopping was a bit of a therapeutic thing for Mammon, just like gambling could be. That rush of finding something new, of feeling like you won. But this was excessive, even for him. Usually he’d have some sort of goal in mind - new clothes maybe, a new video game he wanted to try, or something nice for you. You hadn’t seen him just mindlessly buying things before. He hardly looked like he was even paying attention to what exactly he was putting in his cart.

“How have you been feeling?”

“Great.”

“Oh...that’s good. I’ve been worried about you.”

Mammon scoffed. Worried about him? Why would anyone be worried about him? He was the scummy second born, after all. And surely after this past week you knew exactly how scummy he was since you were able to see what he could be like if he wasn’t. So what was the point in even trying anymore? He was a demon wasn’t he? Shouldn’t he just indulge his sin? It’s not like it mattered. It’s not like it would change anything.

That’s what he thought, at least. Or rather, tried to convince himself of. But with each purchase he made and each delivery he accepted, he felt the emptiness inside him grow. It had gotten to the point he wasn’t even opening the packages anymore. Just letting them pile up wherever they fell when he sat them down.

“Mammon?”

“Nuthin’. It’s fine.”

“Oh ok.” You studied his profile for a moment while you thought about how exactly you were going to handle this. He wasn’t giving you a lot to work with here, and you were running out of questions you could ask. But maybe you didn’t need to say anything right now? Maybe for right now you could just sit with him.

You scooched over a little more, looping your arm through Mammon’s and resting your head on his shoulder. You felt him stiffen under you briefly, before relaxing again and resuming his scrolling.

“Whattya doin’?”

“I just thought I’d sit with you for a little bit. I’ve missed you.”

“Oh.”

Mammon didn’t really have anything to say to that, so he continued with his shopping. Unconsciously though, he slowly rested his own head on top of yours and it made you smile, feeling more confident in your choice to just stay with him.

As he scrolled, you started pointing out things that looked interesting to you, hoping to engage him in conversation. He was surprised to hear you apparently helping him shop, and not scolding him. Though he supposed that was more Lucifer’s territory than yours. You never really got on to him when he messed up. At first, he had thought it was because you might be a bit dim and didn’t realize all the trouble he’d get himself into. But as he got to know you, he realized you saw a lot more than you let on, and you were actively choosing to let those things go, supporting and encouraging him instead.

Not seeing any reason not to, Mammon began replying to your questions and pointing out things to you as well. It wasn’t long before he was laughing along with you too, as you both found progressively more ridiculous things for sale, shopping now completely forgotten. He should have known better than to think he could ignore you and that you’d just leave. You had this ability to just worm your way into his heart, no matter how many defenses he thought he had in place. He was just no match for you.

And well, he was kinda thankful for that right now. He had missed you. A lot. More than he’d care to admit. But he had been so ashamed of himself, he didn’t know what else to do besides lock himself away. The stupid bracelet made him painfully aware of just how much of a screw up he was.

Before, he had always imagined that he was able to make you proud of him. He liked showing off for you, if for no other reason than to see you smile. He pushed himself to work harder, to be more open with you, even to cause less trouble for Lucifer. But then the bangle happened...and he saw just how short he fell.

The gulf between his “angelic persona” and his “demonic persona” was just felt so vast. Too vast. He was never going to be someone worthy of you.

So he just gave up.

Sensing that Mammon had become a bit lost in his thoughts, you sat up. As soon as your head started to leave his shoulder, he realized that he had been resting his against yours. He jerked his head up immediately, blushing heavily. You let out a soft chuckle when you saw how flustered he was, satisfied that he seemed to be a bit more relaxed and like his old self than when you had first found him.

“You alright?” you asked.

“Umm yeah, fine.”

“Ok,” you paused briefly, taking a breath before continuing, “Do you think we could talk now?”

“‘bout what?”

“Umm, well…” you hesitated, hoping you weren’t overstepping your bounds and about to send him back into his shell, “...about all this, actually,” you said, gesturing around the room.

“Oh.” Mammon’s blush only deepened as he took a quick glance around the room. He hadn’t noticed how bad things had gotten until then. It was like he had tunnel vision, and had only been able to see the path directly between his bed and the door, and nothing else.

“Just felt like doing a little shoppin’ is all.”

“Oh? Well, I’ve just never seen you buy so much stuff before…”

“Well, ya don’t know everything about me,” he replied. He wasn’t sure why, but he was feeling on edge now. Things had been nice when you had been just sitting with him, not talking about anything of consequence. But now you were trying to meddle. He didn’t want the proof of his failure pointed out, and he didn’t want to know you knew either.

“Mammon...I’m just trying to understand...” you pulled back a little to get a better look at him.

“I’m just being who I’m supposed to be. You don’t need to understand.”

“Mammon…!” your thoughts were racing now. What had gotten into him? Everything had switched so quickly from the fun, happy moment you had been sharing - to unconcealed anger. You hadn’t been trying to make him feel bad, you just wanted to know why he was acting how he was, and what you could do to help. But your line of questioning had apparently set him off.

“This is who I am, ok?!” he snapped, instantly regretting it, “It’s all I’m good for! Just stop...please…” his voice sounded so weak now, cracking as it trailed off.

Slowly, you reached out to cup his cheek and turn his head back towards you. You had expected him to resist, but he didn’t. And when your eyes met his, you could see exactly how much pain he was in. He looked even more confused than you felt. You started to stroke his cheek with your thumb, and he closed his eyes, partly to avoid looking at you any longer, and partly so he could enjoy the sensation of your hand on his cheek.

Not knowing what else to do, you wrapped both arms around his neck, pulling him toward you and hugging him. Again, he didn’t resist, he just let you have your way. You were a bit saddened when you realized he wasn't hugging you back, but you noticed he hadn’t pushed you away yet either, so you continued to hold him and nuzzle into his neck.

“Please tell me what’s wrong,” you begged.

There was no response from Mammon, but you felt his arms begin to loop around your waist, soon pulling you into his lap, with your legs perpendicular to his. He mimicked your hold, burying his face in the crook of your neck. You were so warm. And you smelt so good. He had missed being this close to you.

He didn’t know what he was supposed to say now. A minute ago he had lashed out at you, angry and defensive, and now he was holding you and trying not to cry. His emotions were a jumbled, chaotic mess, and he just felt so...helpless.

“...I don’t...know…” he mumbled.

“That’s ok. It’s ok,” you soothed, as you started combing your fingers through his hair. Nothing was said for a while, the two of you simply holding each other; you hoping to convey how much you cared for him, and Mammon hoping you could tell how lost he felt.

“I’m Greed ain’t I…? This is what Greed does. It’s what it is…” he said, his voice scarcely above a whisper, tightening his grip on your waist.

“What are you talking about...?”

“It's reckless, and impulsive, and selfish.”

Why was he saying these things? He called himself impulsive, and sure, you couldn’t really argue with that. But selfish? He didn’t look that way to you. Not to say he never did anything in his own self interest, but he had this way of looking out for his brothers and you. Especially you.

“You’re not selfish, Mammon. Why would you think that?” You kept your voice low and calm, as you continued stroking his head and running your fingers through his hair.

“...because I am...aren’t I…? Takin’ things from my brothers...wastin’ all your time…”

“Hey, you never waste my time, ok? I like spending time with you.”

“...I dunno why…”

“Because you’re The Great Mammon, why wouldn’t I want to spend time with you?” you replied, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Mammon didn’t answer, but you saw the blush start creeping across his cheeks, before resting your head on top of his.

“Look, you might be Greedy, but that’s not always a bad thing, you know?”

“...it’s not?”

“No, it’s not. I never felt that way when I spent time with you. You always made me feel loved, and happy, and safe.”

“...”

“If you were as awful and selfish as you seem to think you are, you wouldn’t have been able to do that.”

“...”

“And what about that little girl, huh? The one you told me about before. The one you take care of. You weren’t an angel when you did that.”

Oh. How had he forgotten about her? Or that he had told you?

“Just because you are a demon doesn’t mean you don’t have good qualities, you know? And it doesn’t mean the bad ones get to overshadow all the good things about you either.”

“Do ya mean that? That I have good qualities?”

“Yeah, Mammon, I do.”

“...even though Imma demon?”

“Even though you’re a demon,” you answered, kissing the top of his head, “You are more than just your Greed. You get to make your own choices.”

Mammon listened carefully to what you had to say, each word making his heart feel a little lighter and his outlook a bit brighter. Maybe...maybe things weren’t as hopeless as they seemed.

“Besides, I like Greedy Mammon. The Mammon that wants to spend all his time with me and never leave my side. I’d be awfully lonely without him around.”

Hearing you say that warmed his heart, thawing the last bits of ice that had settled there. You were right. Just because he had bad moments, didn’t mean he wasn’t allowed good ones too. He was an Avatar after all - he commanded Greed, it didn’t control him. He wasn’t just some mindless, lower tier demon that was helpless against their sin. He got to decide when and how he would act. And if he had to be Greedy for anything, it would be your attention. It didn’t have to be material things (well, at least not all the time).

“...yeah...I guess ya’d be pretty bored without me too,” he said, lifting his head to look at you.

“Oh definitely. Very bored,” you replied, with a smile.

“Err...do ya think you can help me with something?”

“Sure.”

“Returning all that before Lucifer gets the bill,” he said, gesturing to the piles of junk behind you, “or well, most of it.”

“Of course,” you replied, kissing him on the cheek, “We will need to take the trash out too.”

“Sure we can’t just get Beel to eat it?” he asked, with a cheeky grin

“Mammon!”

“What?!”

#gn!mc #poly mc #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me mammon #obey me fanfic #mammon fanfic #mammon x mc #mammon x poly mc #obey me angst #obey me comfort #mammon angst #mammon comfort

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jawritter · 3 years

Text

Born Under The Wrong Sign

Part 2

Summary: Dean Winchester, hunter, killer of Gods, demons, and monster, was born as an Omega. It never felt right, and he wants a change of biology. After all, just cause it’s what we’re assigned, it shouldn’t identify who we are…

Pairing: Omega!Dean Winchester x Alpha!Reader

Written For: @spnkinkbingo

Square field: Total Power Exchange

Word Count: 2511

Beta’d By: @miss-nerd95! Thanks again hun!

Dividers by: @firefly-graphics

Rating: Explicit

Warning: Identity Crisis? ABO Dynamics, smut, unprotected smut, mention of past abusive parents. John’s A+ parenting, knotting, dirty talk, language, talk of sex change and presentation changes. Some self hate. Claiming, knotting, mating, hint of a possible breeding kink. I think that’s about it.

A/N: This is the first fic I’ve ever written like this one, even for ABO, and even though I’m sure they’re out there I’ve never read one quite like it. So, that being said, I’m pretty nervous about throwing this one out there for you guys! So I really do hope you enjoy it! Feedback is golden! Please do not copy my work! This is part 1, part 2 will drop later this week!!

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A lot had taken place since Dean’s heat ended three days ago.

Step one of your plan to find a way to switch your biological presentations started with you contacting Sam at the men of letter’s bunker, and setting him to work researching to see if there was any lore that could help you both in your pursuit.

Dean was worried that Sam wouldn’t be supportive or understanding of his current predicament, but Sam was more than willing to help his brother in whatever he chose to be. John still had Dean repressed a little to this day, it was a deep rooted fear of Dean’s that his family would be ashamed of him or reject him for feeling what he felt. Still, Sam set to work right away.

Now it was just getting back to the younger Winchester at the Bunker and seeing what he found. You had taken a few days to make sure Dean recovered from his heat before traveling with him. This one had been bad, and he was still pretty tired, but he was also anxious to get back to his brother and see what he’d dug up.

Dean was in his post heat, clingy phase as well, which added to traveling difficulty. Instinct was telling him to nest down and cuddle with you, and that was hard to do and drive, so it put you behind the wheel of Baby while he lay curled the best he could across the seat with his head in your lap.

You subconsciously stroked his hair with your free hand as the miles rolled underneath you both and carried you closer to home. You would occasionally glance down at Dean, and you did note that he looked uncomfortable in this position, but what other choice did you have? You had to get to the Bunker as soon as possible if you were going to find an answer to this problem at all.

Dean had fought against his biology for so long, that when the Omega side of him was more prevalent around his heats it looked odd to you. You were so used to Dean carrying himself as an Alpha would, that it almost looked as unnatural to you as it felt to him, and you could clearly see that he was not meant to be an Omega. This was clearly a mistake of biology.

The same stood for you.

You didn’t really carry yourself like an Alpha, even in private when it wasn’t needed that you held to the act to protect your Omega from being killed by other hunters who called Male Omega’s 'Genetic Freaks'.

You loved to be close to Dean, almost as much as he liked to be close to you, and you were surprisingly submissive to him on the every day occasion. You even often let him have the upper hand in the bedroom, something he really enjoyed, and man you loved it when he took control. It felt more natural to you, it felt right, and you would be a liar if you said you hadn’t fantasized about Dean calling you his Omega just as much as he did.

Your small frame even contradicted your Alpha status. It made protecting your Omega harder, because if someone was attracted by his unmistakable Omega scent when you weren't around to claim it as yours, especially another male, they could probably overpower you. That scared you a lot, especially in bars where the threat could turn real, real fast.

You were relieved when you pulled up to the bunker, and didn’t have to stop the whole way. Dean being on the heels of his heat made his scent more prominent, even under suppressants, and you didn’t want to fight with another Alpha at a gas station.

As the two of you made your way down the iron staircase of the Bunker, you could hear voices echoing through the walls of the place, one of which you recognized right away. Rowena MacLeod. That meant Sam must have found something. Or, you thought sorrowfully, he found nothing, and he called for backup.

You exchanged a look with your mate before entering the library where Sam, Rowena, and Cas were all gathered probably waiting for you.

You dropped your duffle bag to the floor with a thud as Dean looked to his little brother with a look of almost desperation.

“Sammy, please tell me all these people here means you found something,” Dean pleaded, and Rowena guided the slightly trembling Omega to a seat in front of a bowl full of ingredients for a spell, and you took the one next to Dean; taking his hand in yours to give him a sense of security as much as you could.

“Well, we think we have found something that can be tried,” Sam said, moving to the spell book that was open at the end of the table as Rowena grabbed your laced hands, and placed a twine of what looked to be rope laced with lavender around both of your wrists.

“Apparently, you two aren’t the first to feel like you were born with the wrong presentations,” Rowena explained, adding a few more ingredients to the bowl before plucking a piece of hair from each of your heads.

“So this spell is going to virtually swap our presentations?” you questioned, looking between the three other people in the room.

“That’s the idea,” Cas answered, folding his arms over his chest. "I’m here just in case anything goes south and you guys need a quick healing.”

“The spell is painless,” Rowena interjected, seeing Dean’s worried expression as his gaze shifted between you and Cas. “But the spell will change you on a molecular level, so Castiel’s presence is just a precaution, really.”

“You ready for this,” Sam asked his brother, who then looked at you with worry swimming in the green depths of his eyes.

“You sure you want to do this with me. That you won't regret it?” Dean asked, and you tightened your grip on his hand in assurance.

“I told you, Dean, I want to do this as much as you do,” you assured him and he leaned his forehead against yours.

“Okay, do it,” Dean said to the room, and as if on cue Rowena began chanting over the bowl, her eyes glowing a bright purple before she struck a flame to the contents and a warm feeling rushed through your body as the twine around your wrist disintegrated in a flash of light.

For just a moment, it seemed as if the world stood still as the whole room watched the two of you, and for a moment you were afraid nothing had changed. That was until you caught Dean’s scent. It was stronger, more potent than you had ever smelled it. Warm sandalwood and whiskey with just a hint of mint, and your mouth literally watered at the scent.

You opened your eyes just in time to see the yellow glow of the Alpha now residing in your mate’s eyes fade as his gaze locked with your own, and a deep rumble growl erupted from his chest as he pulled you into his lap like he was scenting you for the first time.

“Fuck, you smell amazing, Omega,” he said, rooting around your mating gland with his nose before lapping at where your claiming mark would very soon reside. Slick was already gathering in your panties just from him touching you, and everything was so intense it was almost breathtaking. This is what you had always been missing. It felt right, and for the first time in his arms, you felt like you were finally home as you purred against him.

Sam clearing his throat loudly reminded you both that you had an audience, and Dean reluctantly pulled away from you to glare at his little brother with annoyance.

“Well, I take it the spell worked,” Rowena chuckled before grabbing Sam by the arm. “Come on you two, let’s leave them to it. They need to get reacquainted with each other.”

They made a quick exit, and you and Dean watched as they retreated up the stairs and completely out of the bunker, leaving you alone with your Alpha.

“Well, looks like we have to get 'reacquainted',” you told Dean, looking up at him and finding his lust-filled gaze staring down darkly at you.

You noticed he was sitting a lot straighter and looked all together more stronger. It suited him. You also noticed that your old claiming mark was gone as you ran your fingers over the empty space over where it used to lay over his now smooth skin, and a shiver ripped through his body.

“Don’t have to tell me twice, baby girl,” he rumbled, lifting you with ease and carrying you towards your shared room.

It was as if your body was already in tune with your new Alpha, and every step Dean took towards his room, the wetter you became. The light cramps of your first heat were already licking at your abdomen, making you whimper and nuzzle closer to him and his scent.

Once you were in his room and the door kicked closed behind the both of you, Dean made quick work of the clothes that were covering both of your bodies and was now hovering over you, exploring your body as if he was seeing it for the first time again. His lips making trails, memorizing what makes you tick all over once more, taking your breast into his warm mouth, sucking and lapping at your body until you were all but begging him for his knot.

“Hang on Omega, I got to warm you up first,” he murmured against your lips and you shivered as his fingers descended on your slick folds, running through them before breaching your entrance with ease. He pumped and curled them, adding a second finger, then a third; pressing his thumb against your throbbing clit as your body fell apart around his fingers and he scissored you open, preparing you for his knot as he kissed you drunk, swallowing your moans as pure pleasure washed over your body.

You whined at the loss of his fingers when he finally removed them from your body, and he chucked against your lips, pecking them softly, and nibbling along your lower lip.

“Please, Alpha,” you beg him. “I need you to knot me, stop teasing.”

Dean grunts lowly in his throat, licking at your mating gland and rutting his already leaking cock through your folds, making your body arch off the bed to meet him in a silent plea to be fully filled by him.

“God you have no idea how long I’ve dreamed of you calling me Alpha, sweetheart,” he admitted kissing you deeply. “Gonna take such good care of you Omega.”

You shivered at the mention of your new presentation while nipping at the skin of his throat.

“Turn over and present for your Alpha, pretty girl, let me see what’s mine,” he commanded, and before the words were all the way out of his mouth you were on all fours, presenting for him. The deep approving growl that fell out of his mouth had slick literally siding down your thighs.

“So fucking beautilful, baby girl,” he praised as he slowly pressed the tip of his cock into your waiting heat. “This pussy mine baby girl, all this slick because of me?”

“It’s all yours, Alpha, all for you,” you told him with a keen as he snapped his hips forward and seated himself fully inside your heat with a deep groan.

All thought process, all words, everything flew right out the window as humanity faded away and pure animalistic instinct took over as Dean pounded relentlessly into you, driving you higher and higher until you could feel his cock swelling further and his knot starting to catch with every thrust. His fingers slipped from your hips to your clit and he began to rub furiously in time with his pace until you were screaming his name and coming around his knot as it locked the two of you place as he lifted you body against his, his teeth latching deep in your throat, calling you as his as he spilled into you, filling you with his cum.

When you finally came down from your high, Dean was licking at your new claiming mark, healing it only the way an Alpha could, and he was lowering you both so that now you were on your sides.

“You okay, Omega?” He asked, purring as he nuzzled into your hair, reveling in your scent that was mixed with his own.

“Perfect, Alpha,” you said, slipping down deeper into his hold.

For a long time no words were said, no words were needed. The unexplainable peace that was between you was enough. For the first time, everything was as it should have been all along.

Dean always knew, he just knew he was never meant to be born as an Omega. It was something deep down inside of him that just was always there from the moment he presented, and the same was for you. For the first time. Everything felt right.

“You know, maybe we can try to have pups now,” you said after a while and Dean’s body had already been detached from your own.

“What?” Dean asked, sitting up on his elbow and tucking the strand of your hair away from your face that had fallen.

“Maybe we can have pups now. I mean, It’s not as dangerous for me to carry them, and now that I’m an Omega we don't hide my heats away. I could stay here at the Bunker and raise the pup and help with research...I don’t know. It’s just something I want with you now.”

Dean thought for a moment before bringing his lips to yours in a slow kiss, one that made your toes curl.

“You know what sweetheart, I think I like that idea. A lot.” Dean admitted.

This was the first day of the rest of your new lives together, and now there was a chance to have a family, and Dean knew then. He was really and truly finally at home in his own skin for the first time.

“I love you, ya know,” he told you, slipping your leg over his hips and sliding his already hardening length into your still slick center. “My pretty Omega.”

“I love you too, Alpha,” you purred as he slowly started to rock his hips into you, dragging his cock through your heat and sending waves of deep pleasure through your body. “Now fuck a pup into me baby. You know how impatient I am,” you teased him.

“Yes, ma’am,” he laughed. There was a promise laced in that chuckle that sent a shiver down your spine. It was the first of many promises he intended to make good on, and you couldn’t wait to start a family with him. Your Dean, your Alpha.

Forever Tags:

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#dean winchester #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester mini series #dean winchester seires #dean winchester smut #abo #ABO Dynamics #alpha!reader x omega!dean winchester #alpha!dean winchester x omega!read3r #x reader inserts #spn fanfiction #spn smut #spn fanfic #spn mini series #jensen ackles #jawritter #born under the wrong sign

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holycatsandrabbits · 3 years

Text

Love’s Endless Light: A Good Omens serial romance

READ FROM THE BEGINNING

NEXT: Coming soon

Chapter 11: In Love's Safekeeping

2019, Mayfair, London, England

Aziraphale sat on Crowley’s uncomfortable black couch and watched Crowley pace about his flat, bouncing on his feet even though he was so visibly tired. There had been a stain on the floor when they’d arrived, holy water and what had been the demon Ligur. Aziraphale had cleaned it carefully, but he thought he could still smell the holy aura in the air.

Crowley looked thin and pale and a cross between anguished and deliriously happy. There was a smile that kept stealing onto his face, before he chased it away.

“I suppose,” Aziraphale said quietly, bravely, “we should have gone faster. If this was going to be the end of it, so soon.”

That smile worked its way onto Crowley’s mouth again. He’d removed his dark glasses, and his snake eyes shone gold. “It’s not the end, angel. Can’t be. We can’t have gotten this far just to lose it.”

Aziraphale felt his tired body tremble with anxiety. “I think that’s— I’m sorry, my dear, but I really think that’s the way this is going to go. And it’s my fault.”

“What are you talking about?”

Aziraphale had sworn he’d never tell Crowley the whole of it, because he was ashamed, because it was useless, because it felt like instead of talking, he would just break open and the words would fall out. But there was no reason to keep it a secret any longer. Not when this was their last night. Crowley deserved to know. “I mean this is my punishment,” Aziraphale said.

Crowley looked bewildered. “For what?”

“For the War in Heaven!” Aziraphale exclaimed. “For saving demons, for giving away my sword. For all the things I’ve done since, rescuing people when Gabriel said not to, writing false reports, healing you. I wasn’t sure until we— until I knew I loved you. But I’m sure now.”

“Sure about what?”

“That I Fell. That I’m Fallen.”

Crowley stared at Aziraphale like he was speaking a language that Crowley had long forgotten. “Show me your wings.”

Aziraphale took a moment to remove his coat, and then miracled holes in his shirt to let the wings erupt forth. They stretched themselves out in the empty space, feathers rustling quietly.

“They’re white,” Crowley said.

“Falling’s not the same for everyone.”

“Yes, it is. You Fall, you become a demon.” Crowley tilted his head in that sharp, snakeline manner he had, showing his demonic aspect clearly. “I would know.”

“I’m being punished,” Aziraphale said, resolutely. “I don’t belong in Heaven. The other angels hate me. The one person who loves me— I can't accept that love. The one person I love— I can't give it. What is that if not Hell? I disobeyed Her, and it pleases Her to punish me like this, an angel in his own personal torment. But the worst part is, She’s punishing both of us. We’re both in this misery and it’s my fault.”

“I’m not in misery,” Crowley said, lightly, quite as if he wasn’t. He crossed the room and sat down on the little coffee table in front of the couch, reaching out to take Aziraphale’s hands in his own. “That’s not what I feel with you. Never has been.”

“We’re going to die tomorrow,” Aziraphale said.

Crowley looked amused. It was beautiful on him, as every happy look was, brightening his eyes, rounding his face. “Really? The angel who guarded demons in the War is going to let Hell get me this time? I don’t think so. And just so you know, I’m not going to let Heaven get you either.”

Aziraphale squeezed his hands, it was too hard not to. They’d held hands on the bus for hours, with no one to notice anymore. “But how—”

“Well, for me, holy water, I’d guess.”

“No,” Aziraphale said forcefully. “Not now, not after everything. I won’t lose you that way.”

Crowley’s smile got larger. “There’s my guardian angel.”

Aziraphale let out a frustrated sigh. “But I—” He looked down at their hands, fitted together, their fingers laced, as if there wasn’t a firm boundary between them, as if they weren’t separate people at all. “I could take your place,” Aziraphale said slowly. “I’ll take the holy water for you.”

“Then I’ll take the hellfire for you,” Crowley said. “And we’ll survive it.” He raised their joined hands and pressed a kiss to their fingers. “Angel,” he said quietly, “this is the reason I go on. This is what saves me, not what damns me. It’s not a punishment, it never has been.”

Aziraphale blinked away the tears that were filling his eyes. “Then why— why haven’t I been punished for what I did? For the War in Heaven? For letting Adam and Eve escape? For everything since?”

“Maybe,” Crowley said gently, “because you’ve been doing the right thing.”

“It can’t be. It was against orders!”

Crowley scoffed. “I don’t see why you think Gabriel always had things right and you always had them wrong. He tried to help cause the end of the world. You wanted to protect the entirety of Heaven, Hell, and Earth. That one’s kind of obvious.” Crowley kissed Aziraphale’s hand again. “I have faith in you, do you know that?”

Aziraphale leaned forward and kissed him. It was softer, a less desperate thing than their first kiss, until Crowley made a little groaning noise in his throat. Aziraphale tugged his hands free from Crowley’s to slide them behind his head, pressing closer.

“Aziraphale,” Crowley breathed against his lips. “I need you.”

“You have me,” Aziraphale promised. He stood up, drawing Crowley up with him, kissing him all the while. Crowley tasted sweet, and he clutched at Aziraphale, sliding fingers into his hair.

Aziraphale had thought that their first kiss had been something hard-fought, like a treasure grasped from the very claws of a beast, a feat that could not be replicated. But here were endless kisses from Crowley, so many that Aziraphale could not count them, given freely.

Aziraphale had thought that if they ever gave into this, one of them pressing the other against the wall, stumbling feet and wandering hands, laughing when their noses bumped, moaning when it was their hips, that it would feel like Falling. Because it was wrong not only to have this, but to even want it.

It didn’t feel wrong. In the same way that it hadn’t felt wrong ever for Aziraphale to stretch out his wings to protect the enemy, to stretch out his hands to heal those the other angels had wounded. It didn’t feel wrong now to fold his wings around Crowley as they kissed, keeping him close and safe. That shouldn’t have been right, by all the rules that Aziraphale had ever been taught.

Apparently, the rules were wrong.

READ FROM THE BEGINNING

NEXT: Coming soon. Crowley's got a little secret he's been keeping from Aziraphale.

Read on Ao3

Updates Fridays on Ao3 and Tumblr.

Want to create fic, art, or other works based on this series? Please do! Just dm or tag me.

Coming August 20: "Tollense," my next serial romance. A history professor falls in love with his best friend, a 3000-year-old vampire.

My previous Good Omens serial: Mr. Fell’s Bookshop

My Carrd

*********

Image text: Love’s Endless Light by Dannye Chase (HolyCatsAndRabbits) Chapter 11

As Aziraphale and Crowley slowly fall in love over the millennia, Crowley discovers that Aziraphale is keeping a very dangerous secret.

#Dannye writes #Love's Endless Light #Good Omens #good omens fanfic

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alls-fair-in-pride-and-prejudice · 4 years

Note

Fluff Fandom Fic Request: Modern day Aaravos coming home to significant other who's had a rough day and he tries to cheer them up and they be cute n shit idk go nuts xD

Modern Day Aaravos x Reader - Chase the Darkness Away

A/N: The premise of this AU I’m using is that in the centuries that Aaravos was in the mirror, Xadia advanced to modern day technology. So, we still have magic and Aaravos is still the same sparkly elf. How did he escape the mirror? How did he meet the reader? Who knows and who cares! As I told you, king-bito in a private message, I turned this into therapy for myself, so it might be a tad more angsty than I planned. Sorry, but hopefully it can provide you or someone else some comfort in a dark time.

“Darling? How long have you been sitting there like that?”

I did not hear him come in, curled in on myself in a ball on the couch. I straighten myself, causing my back to protest in pain. “Um… what are you doing home already?” I ask, hastily wiping at the dried tear tracks on my face.

Aaravos furrows his brow ever so slightly. “It’s six pm.”

Oh… that means I have been sitting like this in my miserable state for… seven hours. My stomach growls, protesting the fact that in that time I forgot to eat. Aaravos sits next to me, reaching out to take one of my hands in his, unclenching my fists with some gentle prodding. “When was the last time you ate?” His lovely voice is laced with concern and gentleness.

Ashamed, I mumble my answer, “I had some cereal around ten-thirty.”

He shakes his head. “That’s not enough. You need to take care of yourself.” With surprising strength (or not so surprising, he had a lot of time to build up his strength during his solitude) he pulls me off the sofa and shoos me to the bathroom. “Go take a shower while I make dinner. You’ll feel better, and I expect you to eat when you get back.”

He has such a commanding presence that even my depressed ass cannot refuse him, although my shower consists more of staring into the void than actual cleaning. When I return with towel-dried hair, Aaravos is putting the finishing touches on a pasta dish. His options for sustenance were so limited in the mirror that he has really taken to cooking ever since regaining his freedom. When I sit down at the kitchen table, he places a heaping portion in front of me. “Try not to eat too fast; I would not want you to get sick.”

He sets up his own serving and sits next to me on the small table. All I can do is stare at the food in front of me as tears well up in my eyes. Aaravos stops in the middle of a bite to lean over and stroke my cheek, catching a tear with his thumb as it spills over my lashes. “What’s going on, love?”

I do not deserve him, this gorgeous, magical man that, after a long day, comes home to see me having done nothing of worth and sets about taking care of me with barely a word. I feel too pathetic, too weak to be in his life, and there seems to be nothing I can do about it, about the demons that came to plague my mind and body today. There is nothing I want more than to be better for him, to rely on my own strength instead of having him help care for me. Why should he care about my struggles? When will he see that I am not worth his love and leave me?

But on top of everything else wrong with me, my voice decides to stop working now, too, and I cannot share with him what troubles me. Aaravos waits patiently for me to answer until all I can give him is the indication that I cannot speak. He pulls his chair closer to me and touches his fingers to my forehead. “May I?” he is asking permission to use a spell on me, to which I nod.

With a few muttered words and a sweeping motion on my head, his eyes begin to glow, light sunlight shining through an opal. I bring all my thoughts to the surface, all the pain and conflicting emotions, hoping he will understand. When the light fades, Aaravos pulls me into an almost crushing hug, arms like a vise around me. “It’s okay, I understand,” he whispers in my ear.

When he pulls away, he takes a forkful of food and holds it up to my mouth. “Please just eat a few bites,” he requests. Then, with a teasing tone and that hot smirk of his, he adds, “Do not make me feed you, I know your pride would not survive it.”

I take the fork from him and eat a bite. It is delicious, of course, because apparently this elf has to be amazing at everything he does, the lovely bastard. We set about eating together in silence, until I see a butterfly flit over my food. It floats along and lands on the back of my hand, wings opening and closing lazily. It looks like a piece of the night sky was caught on its wings.

Glancing up, I see the entire kitchen covered with these butterflies, flitting around and glowing like fireflies. It makes the room feel like a planetarium and butterfly garden all at once, my two favorite places to go brought to our home. I leap out of my seat to enjoy the sight better. They are clearly illusions, since they disappear if I touch their wings, and I cannot feel them if they land on me, but I could care less for how beautiful it looks. I twirl in the swarm of butterflies, my worries temporarily forgotten. Aaravos stands from the table to hug me from behind and presses a kiss to my shoulder. “It is good to see you smiling again.”

I lean back into him, turning my head to kiss him on the lips. “You’re an expert at making me smile.”

Aaravos continues to hold me, resting his chin on my shoulder. “Did you think I spent every day in my prison constantly productive? Reading and improving myself and attempting to escape?”

I am a bit surprised by the question. “Well… yeah I guess I did,” I admit.

Aaravos chuckles, a hollow sound that seems almost sad. “I did not. There were days that all I could manage was to stare into space, days I felt so numb that I could barely move. I did my best, but there were many times that my best only consisted of breathing.” He spins me around in his arms so I can see the sincerity in his golden eyes. “So, do not, for a moment, believe that I think less of you for these days you struggle. I help you because I care about you and because I had no one to help me.”

When I am in pain, I can forget about how much Aaravos has been hurt, especially since he carries himself with such grace and strength. I pull his face to mine so our foreheads touch, a reminder to the both of us that we are no longer alone.

One by one, the butterflies dissolve into stardust and disappear, and when we go to bed, we hold each other close, the mere presence of the other enough to chase the demons away for a little while, leaving us refreshed to fight again in the morning.

#tdp aaravos #aaravos x reader #the dragon prince fanfiction #modern day au #alls fair creations

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melancholydreadfuldream · 3 years

Text

Hell-bound with you

Fandom: Doctor Who

Pairing: Doctor x Reader

Summary: You are the unwilling companion of the Doctor.

Warning: ooc, plot holes as usual, dark!doctor, insanity, etc. You have been warned.

A/N: I hope this post show up in search result just fine. The part four of my other fic I posted at the end of last month just won’t show up in any search result, tags not working. I hope this one work okay.

I watched in amusement from my spot as Jack tried to summon the Doctor but failed instead, he kept getting her companion. I couldn't help but laughed at the old man expression when Jack kissed him in the mouth.

I was surprised when the old man, Graham, revealed that the Doctor is now a woman. Jack is giddy with excitement as he wanted to see the Doctor so much. But he kept pulling in the companion instead. Yaz and Ryan.

Eventually Jack realized that the judoon technology is the reason why he can't pull the Doctor to him. Personally, I was grateful that the Doctor is not here. I wouldn't want to catch his - i suppose now - her attention. I admit I am a bit curious about how she looks like. The Doctor's first time as a woman, I wonder how she will act.

My attention snapped back at Jack as he warned the companion about the lone cyberman. It was all very cryptic.

Turned out the companion has never encountered a cyberman before so they understandably are confused.

Both Jack and I had suffered together in the short time since we met and you know what they said about forming a close bond during a life and death situation. It makes us comrade.

Jack knew some stuff about me that I would never tell anyone. I am so grateful that I met him while stranded in this alternate universe.

Of course, it just my bad luck to have landed in a time period where cybermen overrun the world. I was lucky I met Jack. It would take me forever to sort thing out otherwise. I shuddered at the thought of being taken by cybermen for conversion.

I didn't know what to think of the companion because I didn't know of them. I didn't know of the newest incarnation of the Doctor being female either. There were rumor floating around about it but I missed her first season on the account of finding myself suddenly existed within the impossible DW universe.

I hated it. It wasn't fun. And I ended up ruining the Doctor's timeline. I had to run from him when he changed into that monster. Oh, I know he would come looking for me sooner or later. He would never let me go just like that. Misery loves company and all of that. Some part of him did blame me for changing him, I just know it.

But running away and found myself stranded in another DW universe isn’t exactly how I planned my escape. The upside of being here is that I’m finally free of that person.

I heard an amused chuckle within my mind and I frowned. Right, I guess technically I am still haunted by that person. I glared at the bow-tied figure that only I can see, a proof of my insanity. I tried to ignore him and his unwanted commentary on whatever it is Jack and I did.

This particular universe thankfully still follow the canon, I think. I don't know if it will be a blessing or a curse my escape being here, knowing my luck it will ended up as another curse. I do know one thing, this time I have to avoid the Doctor at all cost. It will be hard, I'm sure, as I felt it so many times before back then, someone pulling the string and play on me like a puppet. Of course, no one believe me, not even that person.

I didn't know the future of the Thirteenth Doctor but I will still be a threat to her should she realized what I am. That's what happened with that person. He insisted that I stay with him and everything has gone wrong ever since.

I tried not to think about that person and his now-never-happened future courtesy of me, of my presence, in his life.

"(Name)?"

I snapped out of my trance as Jack called out to me in concern.

"Is it him?"

I blinked when I realized I must have been talking out loud and thus gaining Jack and the companion’s attention. "I'm fine."

Jack gave me a look that said he didn't believe my bullshit.

I ignored him. I noticed the companion are staring at me as if I was insane. I held back a frustrated laugh. Well, I am insane, somewhat.

Jack introduced me to them. “This is (Name). She is with me.”

"Is she a friend of the Doctor too?" Graham asked Jack.

"Well..."

"No." I firmly said as I glared at him in warning. "Oh, just shut up." I glared at an empty space on my left.

The companion stared at me warily.

“err, did she just talk to an empty space?” Ryan asked.

“Yeah, she does that.” Jack replied, not taking his eyes off me.

I tried to focus on Jack and the companion. I rubbed my forehead, feeling a headache forming.

Jack's frowned as he observed me. "She's...complicated." He suddenly yelled in pain as the nano-genes started to attack him. He complained very loudly.

I was worried for him. "It’s time. We should leave here, Jack." I said as I grabbed him. “You already did your part, warning them.”

"You are right but there is...” Jack groaned. “...one more thing, (Name), you are not coming with me."

"What?! What the hell are you talking about?" I punched his arms in annoyance.

Jack rubbed his arms and give me a look. "You should go with them and stay with the Doctor."

I was pissed. I thought he understand. "No. You..."

"I know what you think of her but I still think you would be safer with her than with me. Also, maybe she could help you with him." Jack replied, turning to glance at the space I have been staring at before despite not being able to see what I see.

"Like hell, I'm not going! And you can't make me!" I yelled petulantly.

The companion stood there looking confused at our argument.

Jack let out a sad smile. "I'm sorry, (Name)." He took my hand that is on his arm and let it go.

I blinked in confusion and annoyance. I was momentarily distracted and Jack took that opportunity to activate the vortex manipulator on my person and I suddenly blip out of the ship and found myself on Earth instead.

7777

I almost lost my balance as I landed harshly. I cursed loudly.

I saw the Doctor's companion materialized not too far from me.

"Son of a..." I growled. "That damn head jar!!" I cursed Jack. "Shut it!" I snapped on the empty space near me.

The companion stared at me warily.

I groaned in annoyance.

"We should go find the Doctor." Yaz suggested.

"Yeah, you guys go ahead. I'm out of here." I said.

"But I thought that Jack fellow said that you should stay with the Doctor?" Ryan asked.

"Ignore that cheeky bastard's words!" I said and then stopped myself. "Except about the cyberman. That was true. Alright, I'm leaving." I waved at them and left despite their protests.

Screw Jack. He is not the boss of me.

7777

I walked without a purpose as I ponder over what I have to do next now that Jack has abandoned me. Like hell, I’m sticking around to see the Doctor no matter how curious I am of the female Doctor.

“He’s right, you know, you would be safer if you stay with the other Me.” He said.

I glared at him. “And what? Risking of her turning out like you because of me?”

“I think you give yourself too much credit. I was always going to turn out this way sooner or later. Valeyard, remember?”

“But you are not the Valeyard.”

“Yet.”

“And that’s what make it worse. I did this to you. I turned you...”

“Victorious. That’s what I am, thanks to you. It wasn’t that bad.” He said with a shrug.

“You burned down planets!”

“I did that once in a while. You know this." He is referring to Gallifrey. "Besides, you know they deserves it.” He said as a dark expression crossed his features.

“We lost Clara. I wouldn’t call that victorious!!”

“And we avenged her.”

I was ashamed that it was the truth. I did help him to avenge Clara’s death. In fact, I was the one who urged him to do it because I couldn’t accept her death. They haven’t even done Trenzalore yet. And now they never will. Because of me, Bow-tie won’t even get a new set of regeneration. But considering how he turned out, am I doing the world a favor by limiting his life to his eleventh self? Now he will not get the chance to regenerate into Eyebrow. Or did I just make it worse? Like he implied, he is very well on his way into becoming the Valeyard.

“I am curious about the Doctor of this universe.” Victorious pondered. “I have never regenerated into a woman before. I was on my last regeneration right now."

I tensed at that. I kept reminding myself that the person in front of me is not quite real so even if he did figures out the truth, there is nothing he can do about it. No Clara, no new regeneration. Unless he made me fill her shoes, play her role so to speak on Trenzalore. I hope not. Well, I had escaped him, somewhat.

The real Victorious probably was too busy right now to ponder about the calling of Trenzalore. And knowing him now, he might actually let Trenzalore burns.

I think I bought enough time for myself so it might take him a while to locate me especially since I have a bio-damper ring on my person to hide the void stuff that apparently covered me when I first arrived in DW universe. With the ring, he won't be able to track me down easy. It also help hid my presence from the Doctor of this universe too.

I sighed as I stared at my 'companion', the one only I can see, an accidental result after some weird mind meld with the Doctor.

When I first took a glimpse of him the first time I was stranded in this alternate universe, I thought he was somehow in my head, then I beginning to question my sanity, creating a shadow figure of the Doctor in my headspace. Seemed like I could never be free of the Doctor. Part of me believed I deserved it, to be haunted by the Doctor that I ruined.

Sometimes I really thought he is the Doctor when he suddenly said things that sounded like something the Doctor will says. And then he is being all sarcastic with his unwanted commentary on everything I do and...meh I thought of him as a figment of my imagination designed as my personal demon to torture myself. But, weirdly he does know information that I could not possibly know, things that the Doctor or some other screaming genius might know but not little stupid, ordinary Me. There is no way if he is a hallucination created by me for him to know those complicated stuff. Anyway, thanks to that, Jack trusted me, I did save his life, both our life actually, by following the advice of the shadow Doctor.

Jack believe me albeit a bit reluctantly at first and eventually did trust me enough to watch each other back through hell and back. It was all very dramatic but also rewarding as we formed a friendship. Unfortunately, he's loyal to the Doctor hence he disbelieved me when I said I am bad for the Doctor, he still somewhat believe the Doctor is the answer to fix everything that could go wrong, even though he should know better.

I groaned as I ponder on what to do now. I understand the truth in Jack's words that I might need the Doctor of this universe help should Victorious able to track me down to this universe. But I am also right about my presence around the Doctor never bode well. So you see my dilemma?

Thankfully the Doctor and her companion never look for me. I guess she is not curious enough with me.

Back then as I watched the first two episode of season 6, I found it weird that bow-ties who supposedly adores children, didn't bother to look harder for little Melody Pond after she escaped the astronaut suit. Maybe there is some additional information about it from DW book or the audio-book but I never got my hands on them.

Anyway this is good. It would be troublesome if she did decided to track me down.

7777

I thought I covered my track very well but the time bounty hunters somehow able to track me down at some black market in some random planet. It was weird but it seemed the Tardis translation circuit still work on me even if I am not anywhere near the Tardis. Or maybe it is thanks to that annoying 'companion' of mine?

I'm following the advice of the shadow Doctor to find an equipment to, as he said he will indulge me for now, hide me better. I used my vortex manipulator given by River a long time ago at the Library. She taught me how to use it so that I won't accidentally kill myself while using it.

Anyway after I purchase the said equipment and before I could use it per the shadow Doctor's instruction, the hunters found me.

Honestly I hope the self defense lesson I got from River and then Jack would be enough to at least help me escape my pursuers. I thought I did good but they still found me.

That's when the shadow Doctor 'helpfully' told me that I had a tracking chip somewhere inside my body courtesy of the real him. That bastard. Putting a tracking chip without my knowledge or permission like I am some freaking pets.

I glared at him angrily.

He grinned in amusement. "Hey, technically it wasn't me who did it."

"Close enough..." I muttered.

He told me the equipment I purchase earlier should destroy the chip into dust inside me without harming me in the process. Removing the chip would be better but without the correct equipment and a professional medical knowledge, it would be too dangerous.

But before I could use it, they found me again. I was at some random abandoned building. One of them broke my wrist as I fought him. I screamed in pain.

"Hey, don't hurt her! He won't be pleased!"

"She won't stop struggling! She bites me!"

I groaned in pain as they pushed my whole body on the wet floor.

"She is not to be harmed in any way." Someone said. "The client is very specific about that one. He need her for something. He is willing to pay so much for her."

My eyes widened in fear as I realized they are not planning to take me back to Victorious. That would be even worst. Are their client some enemies of the Doctor who is trying to take me as hostage? Or do they after the knowledge I have of the Doctor? But there is no way someone could know. I was sure Victorious remove all threat on me.

I catches the glimpse of dark expression crossing the shadow Doctor's feature as he too listen to what the men had said.

"Who even is she? Why do they willing to pay so much for her?"

"Don't you know? She's the consort of that guy, the Doctor."

I rolled my eyes in disdain at that misinformation but made no move to correct them. There is no point.

"For real? But she is running from him? Why?"

"Have you been living under a rock? That man has gone insane. Who would in their right mind stay with him?"

"I heard the stories about him."

"Not stories."

"So, is it wise to betray him like this?"

"You assumed we got the job from him but we didn't. By the time we hand her over to the client and got our money, with this technology to cross over universe..." He glanced at the elaborate vortex manipulator on their wrists which you assumed they got from the said client. "we can make a new life in some other universe. He won't be able to find us."

The shadow Doctor chuckled coldly. "Whoever that client of their is, I know they are not stupid. To go after what is mine, they would have to take care loose end in order to remain undetected from me." He said as he observed the men. "That vortex manipulator probably has an expired date on it and more..."

He turned to look at me, kneeling before me with almost a bored look. "I did warned you that you would have been safer if you stay with the other me."

I glared at him. "Quit talking, do something." I hissed at him.

He smirked. "You didn't say please."

"Who is she talking with?" One of the men asked.

They hauled me up to face them.

"You are not very smart, are you?" I said with a smirk. "He is already here. The Doctor. Or should I say Victorious?"

They looked around nervously.

I pulled my sonic screwdriver, the one I stole from Victorious, and set out sonic sound, as instructed by him, that momentarily hurt everyone's ears but also caused some old hanging lamp to either explode or fell to the ground, causing chaos.

I ran immediately out of the building. Ignoring the growing pain in my wrist, I yelled at him to tell me how to use the equipment to destroy the chip. I moved the equipment to some spot of my neck and pulled the trigger.

I clamped my mouth as burst of hot fire pain filled me. I gasped as I fell to the ground. Tears filled my eyes. I felt so dizzy.

I distinctly heard him telling me to stay awake and ran. So I did albeit really slow.

Like I said before, someone or something seemed to be pulling the string on me because as I made my weak escape, I found myself face to face with the companion I met with Jack weeks ago and there is a woman with rainbow stripes on her clothing with them. The Doctor, my mind supplied.

Shit.

"It's you." Ryan whispered, seemingly surprised to see me.

"Doctor, she is the one we told you before. she was with Jack." Yaz explained.

The woman glanced at me in guarded curiosity. She walked toward me and opened her mouth to say something but I fainted right into her arms.

7777

I woke up inside the Tardis in the medical bay. How did I know that? He told me.

The Doctor, the female one, entered the room and smiled upon seeing that I already wake up.

I no longer feel any pain, not on my broken wrist and on my neck. I assumed she fixed that. And someone changed my wet dirty clothes with something comfortable.

I heard her yapping about the danger I put myself using the equipment she found with me. I didn't listen, still a bit too dizzy.

"Who are you?"

"(name)." I replied.

"Ok, (name), I'm the Doctor. My fam said you were with Jack and that he instructed you to stay with me?"

"He was wrong." I said bluntly. I forced myself to get up and stand up despite her protest. "I should leave."

"You can't. We are in the vortex. Also you were hurt. Who hurt you? Also who put a tracking chip inside you? You destroyed the chip using that equipment. Are you running from a prison? Did Jack broke you out of prison?"

I groaned and chuckled harshly. "You talk too much." I said as I clutched my pounding headache. "Prison, huh? I guess you could say that. Oh, shut up." I snapped at my right.

"Who are you talking with?" She observed me curiously. "The fam told me that..."

"I am a bit insane? That would be correct. Better stay away from me, doc." I said in derisive.

She glanced at me.

"Stop looking at me like that!"

"Like what?"

"Like I am some animal in a zoo."

"I am so sorry."

"For what?" I asked in confusion.

"For whoever hurt you like that." She whispered. "Yaz changed your clothes. She said you have scars on your arms, consistent with someone being restrained and being injected and also..."

"Stop." I glared at her menacingly. "That was private. None of your business."

She, thankfully, stopped talking about that topic. But she suddenly pulled my sonic screwdriver. "How did you get this?"

I took a deep breathe trying to calm myself over the fact that she and Yaz invaded my privacy. "It's mine."

"Not possible." She said firmly.

"Uh-oh, someone in trouble..." I heard him said in a teasing sing-song voice. I glared at him before turning to face her.

"Someone gave it to me." I lied. "Now give that back and let me leave." I demanded.

She shook her head as she took a step back. "Did you steal this?"

"Ding dong, she got it!" The shadow Doctor answered cheerfully much to my annoyance.

Fine, I'm going to give her some shock value. "River gave it to me, satisfied?"

The Doctor look shocked, her mouth dropped open. "You know River? River Song?"

"That was a low blow, (name)." The shadow Doctor whispered at me in disappointment.

"She was my friend." I spat. That wasn't a lie, technically. River was my friend but in the other universe, not in this one. "I'm sure you wouldn't know me, Doctor. She wouldn't talk about her friends with you. Mostly because you would not be interested."

The Doctor observed me, trying to spot the lie. She seemed satisfied to find none. But she is still suspicious though. "Why would she give you this?"

"For my protection. I will only know how to use it whenever I was in danger." That one is not a lie since the shadow Doctor only tell me how to use it whenever I need to escape danger.

She hummed at that, probably wondering if I ever misuse it. She didn't seem to keen of returning it though. At least she didn't confiscate the vortex manipulator.

"Jack vouched for me. Do you think he would send someone not trustworthy to you?" I said. The answer is yes, by the way, because that traitor Jack ignored my warning how I am not good for the Doctor's timeline. If I am to stay with her, predictably things will not be canon again and it will definitely be hell-bound.

The shadow Doctor chuckled at what I said.

The Doctor didn't say anything.

I raised an eyebrow. "I guess you don't trust Jack or do you only trust him when he is useful to you?" I asked in vicious tone. "Fine, keep the damn sonic screwdriver."

"Oh now you have done it. She is not going to let you leave now." The shadow Doctor helpfully informed. "That is my 'i-don't-trust-this-person-i-need-to-solve-what-she-is-hiding' look." He grinned gleefully.

I almost want to slap the jerk if not for the fact he is not really there so it is kinda pointless.

Resigned to the fact that I am stuck with the new Doctor, I am determined not to let her in my head. A mistake I made with bow-ties which in turn caused him to become Time Lord Victorious.

But I have no idea what the future hold for this version of Doctor and her companion. One thing for sure, the canon is about to go to hell, especially since I have no idea what to do and what to avoid doing.

"I think you should stay with me. I can help you with whoever after you. But I need you to trust me."

What a hypocrite. She doesn't even trust me. Why should I trust her?

"I don't want to intrude. Just dropped me back on earth at 2020." I said.

"Oh, bad year." The shadow Doctor supplied.

"I insist you stay here for a while. After all, isn't that what Jack want me to do? Welcome to the Tardis. It is..."

"I know what it is. River and Jack told me."

"Well then...if they trust you, I am willing to give you the benefit of the doubt..." She smiled brightly. "Welcome aboard, (name). We are going to have adventure of the lifetimes."

If she think I would rejoice, she is sadly mistaken as I stared at her flatly, not impressed.

He chuckled at my expense.

The Doctor glanced at my unimpressed look, sighed. "Well, you are a tough one."

7777

And so I ended up becoming the Doctor's unwilling companion...again.

She re-introduced me with her fam and officially give me a room in the Tardis.

Yaz is wary of me but Ryan and Graham are nice and friendly.

And just like that I got pulled into their adventure. I tried to refused saying I'm feeling ill most of the time, preferring to stay behind but unfortunately the Doctor doesn't trust to leave me inside the Tardis.

Does she think I could drive the Tardis or something? Seriously...

7777

I was stuck in a nightmare. I was back with Victorious and he punishes me for escaping. He trapped me in a special room designed to punish me mentally. He always did know I am weak mentally. He was surprised that I could survive this long by luck alone.

I saw the laughing figure of a trickster, saying the joke is on me and...

I woke up to the concerned face of the Doctor, the female one.

I remembered now. I fell under the clutch of some wannabe gods from ancient Syria. They fed from people's nightmare.

The woman, Rakaya, glanced at me wickedly, saying I have some delicious nightmare.

The Doctor saves the day and able to trick the wannabe gods into eternal imprisonment.

At the end, as I sat with a blank expression on my face on the stairs at the console room, Yaz and Ryan approached me and asked if I want to talk about my nightmare.

I just said that I dreamed of being back in the room. They didn't push me for more. Yaz, being a police officer, probably suspected based on my scars, that the room was where I was imprisoned before.

7777

Darn it.

Despite my determination not to get attached with the Doctor and the fam, I failed. Damn adventures and dangers and excitements, it does bound us closer with each other. I saved them, they saved me.

"Admit it, you miss this, didn't you? The adventures, dangers, excitements?" The shadow Doctor teased me. "You got used to it already."

"what about you?" I asked him. "Do you miss being the Doctor? Saving people and planets instead of destroying them on a whim?"

He was silent. For once, he left me alone. I think I hurt his feeling despite him being a hallucination.

7777

Once I was almost taken by another bounty hunters, the Doctor rescued me and declared that I am under her protection and anyone who want to take me, will have to go through her first.

The oncoming storm expression on her face is enough to make them back off and I was left in peace.

The Doctor is not pleased that I still won't tell her the reason.

"You have your own secrets and I have mine. Respect that!"

"I can't protect you if you don't tell me the truth." The Doctor had said.

"Fine, let me leave. I can take care of myself!"

Both the Doctor and the shadow one snorted at me much to my anger.

The fam has to interfered with our arguments.

"Cool off, the both of you!" Yaz demanded.

Reluctant to leave for the next adventure but having no choice, I went with them. Another life-threatening incident passed with me rescuing Ryan, softened the Doctor and she apologies to me, sort of.

7777

It finally happened. As Jack warned, the lone cyberman has come.

The Doctor asked me the thing that the cyberman after so I told him about the cyberium. Jack did told me about it in passing. He was part of the alliance, after all. I guess he told me about it because he always planned to dump me at the Doctor. I admitted I hold a grudge against Jack for this still.

The Doctor took me with her but instructed the fam and the rest to stay put. She asked me more about cyberium. I honestly don't know anymore but she kept pressing me, taking her frustration at me.

To be honest, she frighten me at that moment, reminding me of Victorious.

From the way the Doctor reacted when she explained about cyberman to the other, the shadow Doctor concluded that she must have lost someone to the cyberman.

Bill Potts, my mind supplied. I knew she was supposed to be the Doctor's companion after Clara. Since Bill is not here anymore, I can only assume she is the one the Doctor lost.

The Doctor raced against time competing with the cyberman called Ashad to get the cyberium before him.

She eventually figured out the cyberium is possessing one of the residents in the house. She managed to trick the cyberium into leaving its current host.

The cyberium is attracted to the Doctor for a host much to my horror as she started to blurt out something the Time Lord Victorious would say.

I saw the shadow Doctor glanced at the other Doctor in amusement and curiosity. His eyes darkened with the lust for power. At that moment, he look so much like the real Victorious I have to believe he is truly him, not a pale imitation of him.

He turned to look at me as he finally notice the look of dread on my face. "You see? The Doctor has always headed to this..." He said with a chilling smile. "It wasn't you who turned me, dearest (name)."

"Get away..." I whispered in fear. I snapped out of it and yelled at the other Doctor, "Doctor, don't!" at the same time as Yaz.

Thankfully, the Doctor snapped out of it too.

The lone cyberman threaten to destroy the planet right that second if the Doctor refused him the cyberium.

Having no choice, the Doctor give its back to him. I have failed Jack. I know she has no choice but this meant Jack and the alliance would be in danger again.

As we returned to the Tardis, the Doctor made a plan to go after that asshat, I mean, Ashad.

She prepared some machinery in order to fight against the cybermen armies. At least she is confidence she could win this.

I planned to go with her to help and rescue Jack and then I am going to slap the hell out of him.

7777

Of course, things just don't worked as well as the Doctor planned. We are in the far future where the last of the human race located. I couldn't find Jack or the alliance.

We are overpowered by the cybermen and got separated from each other. I ended up with Yaz and Graham while the Doctor is with Ryan.

Somehow we ended up in cybership with the cybermen armies in the middle of waking up.

We are trapped. Everyone is panicking. I heard Yaz tried to talk to the other Doctor via an unreliable communication device.

I turned toward the shadow Doctor. "Do something!"

He turned to me with a chilling smile. "I have taught you before, right?"

I swallowed down my fear. "Please..."

He sighed as if what I am asking him is too troublesome.

I jumped when the steel door started to shake some more under the constant attack from the cybermen.

"You remembered when you were taken from me by the Division?" He suddenly asked.

I remembered it. I was taken, my mind half lobotomized in order to gain access on what I know of the Doctor. I woke up to everyone in the building died. I assumed Victorious did it.

"I could activated the physic bomb I planted inside you."

"What?!" This is the first time I heard this. "What the hell is that? Why do you insist of putting things in me?" I lost it at him. I am furious, wouldn't you be?

"(name)!" Yaz called out to me in concern but I ignored her and the rest who thought I finally lost my marble.

"Oh chill out, it won't kill you, well, only temporally." He said as he played with his nails.

"Bastard!"

"If I activated the psychic bomb, you and everyone in this ship will died, well not you obviously, and the cybermen but they will lost all function for roughly an hour or more. Enough time for you to escape, well, once you are resurrected that is." He said.

"What about them?"

"What about them?" He parroted. He shrugged. "Not my concern."

"The hell with that! Save them too!" I demanded.

"I warned you not to get attached..." He sounded bored now.

"Find another way!"

"Why should I?"

"Please. You are the Doctor."

"I'm not the Doctor anymore, remember?"

"Fine, you are victorious! So prove it!! Save them and be victorious over the cybermen!!" I screamed at him, tears of desperation filled my eyes.

He took a look at me and relents. "Fine."

I let out a shaky relieved breath at his answer.

He instructed me to tell the mechanic of the bunch with me to remove some electrical thingies to support enough for teleportation for all of us to escape.

"It is not enough!" The mechanic said. "Only enough for four and there are seven of us!"

"If only someone has a sonic screwdriver..." The shadow Doctor said mockingly. "Guess you have some decision to make, little (name), which four gets to escape with their life."

I cursed the other Doctor for taking the sonic from me. To my surprise, Yaz pulled a sonic screwdriver from her bag.

"She told me to give it back to you." Yaz explained.

My mouth dropped open in shock. I laughed in near hysterical and turned to the shadow Doctor with a grin. "Tell me."

He sighed in exasperation. "Fine."

I used the sonic as instructed, giving the teleportation enough power to transport all seven. "Go!" I instructed Yaz and Graham and the rest to go first.

"What about you?" Yaz demanded.

"I have one last thing to do." I turned to the shadow Doctor as everyone left the ship. "Do it."

He glanced at me with a look and smiled. "Being a martyr?"

"Buying them some time. They are far enough not to get affected by the psychic bomb, correct?"

"Correct."

"And you are the one who said I will survived it so not a martyr."

He hummed. "You sure?"

"Do it."

"As you wish."

Just as the door crashed open, I screamed as he filled my head with so much pain it triggered the bomb creating a pulse of energy that sweep the cybermen off their feet.

I clutched my heart as it was rudely stopped.

The last thing I saw is the shadow Doctor hovering over me, muttering something I couldn't hear.

"I only ask because triggering the bomb would send a signal directly to him..." He said. "He is coming, (name). I am coming."

7777

I slowly opened my eyes, found myself on the ground. "Oww..."

The Doctor and the fam are there, surprised to see me alive.

The Doctor scanned me with her sonic. "But...this is impossible." She blurted out. "You are only human, how can you...? You are immortal? Like Jack?"

"Ugh stop talking. Can I get some water please?" I pleaded.

Everyone stared at me weirdly but an old man thankfully gave me some water.

The Doctor still couldn't get over the fact that I survived and demanded to know what I have been hiding from him.

"Take it easy, doc, she did save our life." Graham said.

The Doctor relented.

"The cybermen..."

"Out of commission for now. How did you do that?" The Doctor asked.

"Tell you later."

She glanced at me. "You better." She said firmly before turned to Ko Sharmus who showed us to the Boundary and there a portal opened.

Both the Doctor and the shadow one blanched in horror when they recognized the ruins of Gallifrey.

And then some random guy leaped out of the portal.

"Master." I heard the Doctor spatted in disgust.

"What?" I accidentally yelled. Last time, to my knowledge, the Master is Missy, though? What happened to her?

"Like a pest...he just keep coming back, huh?" I heard the shadow Doctor said with a chuckle.

The Master demanded the Doctor to go with him. She refused at first. But when he threaten to kill the rest of us, she relented.

Reluctantly, she goes with the Master through the portal, instructing the rest of us to stay behind.

"Follow them." The shadow Doctor demanded.

I stared at him as if he has lost his mind.

"Do it!" The force of his words gave me headache.

"Oh, alright! Geez!" I glared at him in annoyance but did as I told and the pounding headache lessened just a bit.

Yaz and the other tried to stop me but I told them not to follow me.

The Doctor is enraged when she saw me. "What the hell? (name), get back out there!"

The Master is not pleased to see me either. "Control your pet, Doctor, or I will be forced to kill her."

I glared at the shadow Doctor at my predicament of having two very angry Time Lord. "I have no choice, okay!" I said to them.

The shadow Doctor chuckled and told me to say something for him intended for the Master.

"Like hell, I'm gonna say that. He is going to kill me." I refused as I glared at the empty space beside me much to the confusion of two still very angry Time Lord. He wanted me to call him by his name 'Koschei'. I clutched my head. "Oh, fine!!"

"You always have such a sort fuse, Koschei." I repeated word for word.

Both the Doctor and the Master flinched and glared at me suspiciously.

Great. Nice going. Is he planning to get myself killed?

"How do you know that name?" The Master demanded.

"He told me." I gesture to the empty space beside me.

The Master stared at the empty space before chuckled darkly. "Your pet has gone insane, Doctor?"

I stared at him flatly, trying to cover my fear. "The Doctor told me." which is the truth. "just not the Doctor you know." also truth since the Master technically never met bow-ties.

The Doctor stared at me in confusion.

"Yeah, don't care." The Master shrugged and pointed his gun at me as I raised my hand in surrender but the Doctor stood firmly in front of me, shielding me from him.

"Don't you dare." The Doctor hissed at him.

"You don't want to do that. Unless you want me stop both of your hearts." I said, more like repeating the shadow Doctor said.

"Are you threatening me?" The Master look pissed.

"(name), who are you talking with?" The Doctor turned around and grabbed both of my arms, demanding an answer out of me.

"I..." Is this it? Do I have to tell her the truth? I turned to look at the shadow Doctor. I swallowed down hard as I look at the Doctor and then at the Master. "To answer your question, yes, that was a threat. How do you think I made the cybermen lost his function, Doctor? I have a psychic bomb inside me, killing me would trigger it, would kill myself and stopped both of your hearts. So unless you want an early death, I suggest you temper yourself." I said as flat as possible.

Both Time Lords stared at me in shock.

"Psychic bomb? Who did that to you?" The Doctor demanded in concern and slight fear.

"The Doctor did." I said softly.

She released me as if stunned.

The Master curiously looked at me and the Doctor. "Oh fuck this, you ruined my moments, ape!"

"(name)..." The Doctor stared at me as if I grow two head suddenly.

"Come on you two, we need to be somewhere else right now!" The Master demanded.

The Doctor grabbed my hand and took me with her as the Master led us the ruin of the citadel.

As we entered the hall of matrix chamber, the Master suddenly hit me over the head, causing to collapse on the floor, losing my consciousness.

Both Doctor and the shadow Doctor are enraged at my behalf. The Master claimed he need her attention on him, not on her stupid pet.

7777

I woke up to huge commotion. The Master is yelling something at a hologram of Ashad and his armies, asking them what happened. We could heard explosion. He turned to the Doctor asking her what has she done but the Doctor claimed it wasn't her.

They were shouting at each other. Until a signal caught on his communication device.

"A signal. The four taps of two hearts." The Master suddenly said in confusion.

I glanced at those two as they started to bicker again. They are the last two Time Lords, so who was it that send him a signal?

My heart suddenly beats faster as dread filled me.

"The signal is getting close but something seemed to prevented it to come through..." the Doctor said as she pulled her sonic at the device that now emitting some sort of pulse. A portal suddenly appeared in the middle of the room.

I turned toward the shadow Doctor who look at me fondly. I couldn't decipher the meaning of it for a time. He suddenly started to fade away and my eyes widened as I suddenly have a realization.

"No!!" I shouted at both the Doctor and the Master trying to make them stop just as a pulse of energy exploded knocking all of us off our feet and I lost my consciousness once more.

7777

The portal opened. A man in bow-ties and dark purple suit stepped out of it.

The Doctor and the Master groaned on the floor. They looked up to see the newcomer.

The Doctor froze in shock when she saw her past-self. Her mouth dropped open.

He fixed his bow-ties with a grin. "Finally..." He turned and glanced at the other two Time Lords. "Hello there."

"Who the hell are you?" The Master asked.

"Victorious, at your service." He said, bowing mockingly at them.

The Doctor's face paled at the name. "But you can't be..."

"Oh? Why not?" He asked.

"You were me. And I never, he never..."

"You are the Doctor. Interesting." He said, eyes gleaming in excitement.

"You...are not me." The Doctor finally realized.

Victorious turned toward the unconscious human at the floor. His eyes softened considerably as he walked and squatted before the human, one hand gently removed the strand of hairs covering the face. "I guess even here, you couldn't escape a Me after all, huh?" he said. He sighed as he cradled the human into his arms. His forehead touches the human gently. "Seemed like you still keep some secret from me too..." He glanced at the Time Lady before him with a chilling smile before turning to look at his human again. "You bad, bad girl, what is to be done with this?"

A/N: I don’t know if there will be more. Maybe if inspiration hit, I will. Bear in mind, if I do write more, I might just add it in the same post instead of making another one so stay tunes? But for now, TTFN.

#doctor who x reader #thirteenth doctor x reader #eleventh doctor x reader #doctor who fanfiction #thirteenth doctor imagine #eleventh doctor imagine #shiefenwrites

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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years

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HI, IT'S ME! YOUR LOCAL CHAOTIC WEIRDO!!!!! I'M BACK AGAIN LIKE I AM TWICE EVERY WEEK

IT'S MY BOY DAVID THIS TIME! WHY AM I SO HYPER! MAYBE BECAUSE THEY KISSED! AND I HAD TO SUPPRESS MY SCREAMS BCAUSE IM IN CLASS AND THE REST OF MY FAMILY IS OUTSIDE MY DOOR (NOT LITERALLY OFC)

OK OK OK OK OK OK

MAX AND DAVID ARE AT THE LONDON INSTITUTE YESYESYESYES

He rather liked that part in a story – when the hero fell, and everything seemed bleak. It always meant that hope was just around the corner. Because darkness never lasted. It was always followed by light. There was nothing more beautiful than that kind of sunrise.

THIS

I literally live my life by this analogy

AHHH DAVID IS ON HIS TRAVEL YEAR AND MAX IS WITH HIM

SCREAM

well i can't scream because my mom is sitting right there and I have class in 4 minutes so imma smile really wide

“Are you planning to read the entire library during your travel year?” Max chuckled.

“Of course not,” David replied. “I will need longer than a year to accomplish that goal.”

Me.

Wait

does max not being able to make portals have something to do with his lineage?

demon parent

ok so my programming class started 2 minutes early but screw programming I'm gonna be studying minds not this shit

ok that's a very bad attitude for someone who needs good grades in this year

Max was always hungry.

this is so me

KIT

THEY MENTIONED TY

also if David doesn't become an institute head in the future THEN WHAT'S THE POINT

“Where is the kitchen?” Max interrupted.

max is such a mood

He had told Max that he had centuries to perfect his magic, that there was no need to rush it. Max had given him a noncommittal nod and nothing more.

HE'S GONNA MAKE THE BEST PORTALS YOU'LL SEE

“I won’t tell the Consul,” Kit winked.

At the mention of the Consul, David straightened up. He had been trying to get into Alec Lightwood’s good graces for years now. He didn’t think sharing a room with his son would do him any favors.

DAVID UDUCDFUHKDUHVUHSDH

PLEASE IF WE DON'T GET A CUTE ALEC AND DAVID SCENE SOON

KIT CALLED TESSA MOM

oh my god

Word was that Mr. Herondale had gone back to his obsession with brewing tea.

JACE

I have so many emotions right now but all I'm gonna say is that I'm so so proud of Rafael

“Do you not want to sleep with me?” Max asked.

UH-

WELL-

DAVID STOP THINKING ABOUT THE FUTURE AND ALL THE SHIT

STOP IT

OH MY GOD THE ONE BED TROPE

MAX IS IN HIS ARMS I'M ABOUT TO-

takes a deep breath don't scream. everyone outside this door thinks you're taking programming class

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY

AWW JULIAN PAINTED PORTRAITS FOR THE INSTITUTE

The one of Will Herondale and Tessa Gray – A love that had transcended reality and lasted a lifetime.

The one of James Herondale and Cordelia Carstairs – A love that had started with a lie and then blossomed into nothing but happiness and devotion.

The one of Lucie Herondale and Jesse Blackthorn – A love that had been so powerful that it rewrote the past.

The one of Jace Herondale and Clary Fairchild – A love that had walked through hell and shaken up the heavens.

And then there the final one. The one of Kit Herondale and Tiberius Blackthorn – A love that had survived distance and darkness and doom.

This omg...

He wanted a love story. The kind he read in the books. The kind he saw in these portraits.

But he wasn’t a Herondale. He wasn’t sure if he was destined for that kind of love.

HEY

DON'T THINK LIKE THAT

The first part though

same

He might have been a little too excited. It was biologically impossible to control yourself when you find a stranger reading your favorite book in the whole world.

SO TRUE

“I see you already made a new friend,” Max said.

He sounded a little…odd. As if he was not pleased that David had made a new friend.

honey...

take a guess

can I jump in and bash their heads together?

“You are thinking of conjuring chocolate syrup, aren’t you?” David chuckled.

“How do you always know what’s on my mind?” Max chuckled back.

Because I know you, David wanted to say. I just wish I knew what’s in your heart too.

OH MY GOD I CANT WITH THIS

“You get chocolate syrup! You get chocolate syrup! You get chocolate syrup!” Max was yelling, standing on the chair.

They residents laughed harder, and David shook his head fondly. He hoped one day Max would pursue a career in theatre. He was a born showman.

can I have chocolate syrup?

also, the way David is just so fond of him like DYUSDGYJCDYUJM

“By the angel, do you have to be a drama queen about everything?” the boy next to them muttered – not so quietly.

David blinked. That was uncalled for.

But Max being Max was completely unfazed. “Of course I do. My Bapa would be personally offended otherwise.”

exactly you rude little shit

Max often pretended like people’s words didn’t hurt him - just as he pretend that fire doesn’t burn or wounds don’t bleed.

wow ok stop calling me out

Is max jealous??????

is he??????

how are people so good at languages like damn

“Oh my god,” Max groaned. “Is he already telling people to check on me?”

LMAO

using mundane medicine...

that's risky

but it's also something that WILL help

can't warlocks tamper with the blood samples?

A part of him wondered if that’s why he had agreed to send Max away to London – at least for a week. Because sometimes you didn’t want other people to see you were hurting.

alec I really goddamn hope you're dealing with this well

some of whom had even decided to die than get help from a warlock.

alright then gets my knives but you chose this :D

Nobody brought a book down for breakfast if they didn't like to read.

yes but sometimes also to seem busy so people won't bother you or you won't look alone.

“I know,” the boy said as he walked past them to the gate. “I sat on the stairs and thought about life for a few good minutes.”

his family is the one who took over David's previous institute (i can't spell that. marse- marselli- wat??) methinks.

The gang always visited whenever all of them were in the city together. They would have so much fun! Of course, the 'fun' mostly entailed Rafael stopping Georgia from drinking random potions she found in the stalls, Selena stopping Lexi from opening a psychic booth to help people talk to Raziel and of course David stopping Max from running to the gambling booths.

LMAO, I CANT WITH THIS-

Rafe: I am anxiety.

me at any given moment

EW TESTICLES HE'S EATING THOSE-

ok maybe I'm the only person who's really picky when it comes to food and doesn't eat the majority of things

“Anything on Magnus Bane?” Max asked.

“No,” the woman snapped and shoved some of the letters into a bag and hide it under the table. “Leave Magnus Bane alone!”

“Appreciate your loyalty,” Max winked at her and started examining a diary.

I like her.

"Everyone should be participating in this" -my programming teacher

me, an intellectual: participating in what?? goes to the class web THE FUCK IS THAT

“Something for the shadowhunter?” the woman smiled. “Perhaps an unpublished snippet from the Beautiful Cordelia?”

“Do you have any love letters?” David asked.

“Hmmm,” the woman went through the pages. “I do have a correspondence between an Iblis demon and Christopher Lightwood? Would you be interested in that?”

if u don't mind I would love to see both of those-

you know I just remembered I have a computer assignment I need to submit by the end of this week fml

“Never fall in love with an immortal,” she giggled again. “We don’t like staying in one place.”

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

MAX WHERE ARE YOU

why are we using x and 3 in programming class what the heck is going on

“I’m not just some warlock,” Max said, his voice low. “I’m Magnus Bane’s son.”

GIVE HIM THAT NECKLACE BACK

we usually have programming once a week on our physical school days and those are fun because my and my friend are continuously passing notes and talking to each other through writing

The scene where Max fought off all the evil people who tried to steal his valuable belonging. He would fight without breaking a sweat and throw magic fireballs at everyone and then get his necklace back. And then he would kiss David in front of everyone and it would somehow rain all of a sudden.

But life wasn’t a movie or a book. Life was just life.

life's boring

fuck life

I just heard a student ask "why are we not taking out the values of b and c" BESTIE I THOUGHT WE WERE DOING PROGRAMMING AND NOT ALGEBRA?????

“I know there wasn’t anyone to protect you before,” Magnus Bane had said. “But we are here now. We will protect you. This will protect you.”

He hadn’t wanted it back then. He didn't even want it even now.

He didn’t want something to protect him. Most importantly, he didn’t want to cover his scar. He didn’t want to hide it. He wasn’t ashamed of it. It wasn’t a mark of a victim. It was the mark of a survivor.

So, David had smiled and given the bracelet back.

“I never wanted to be protected,” David had replied. “I only ever wanted to be loved.”

The warlock had smiled at that and given David a hug. It had felt different than other hugs he had experienced since he had come to New York.

It wasn’t just the magic. Magnus Bane carried so much love inside himself you could literally feel it through him.

I'm gonna cry during my programming class (where we're doing variables apparently all of a sudden??)

this is so beautiful

“I wasn’t talking about Bapa,” Max said now. “I was talking about the other one.”

David chuckled at that. “Oh, yeah. He is definitely going to kill you.”

what flowers would you like at your funeral?

so Jackson has family troubles

I've definitely got that

yeah I know what it's like to be jealous of someone else's perfect family

JACKSON WTF

Is he trying to ruin max's relationship with his family???

oh hell no

JACKSON THE AUDACITY

“One stolen necklace, One broken nose and One bruised cheek,” he said. “And you’ve been in London for less than a day.”

kit seriously? but is he wrong though?

“This is what I get for falling for a Lightwood-Bane,” David sighed and walked through the portal.

WELL AT LEAST HE'S SELF AWARE

Jackson...

in some ways, I can empathize with him. my younger self anyway. but Jackson this is not how you do things

There was a moment of silence and then Magnus Bane giggled.

“I do love it when the quiet ones go feral,” the warlock grinned.

MAGNUS

NOT.THE.TIME

(me too)

“David!” Mr Herondale gasped. “Is your hand okay?”

yup that's Jace y'all

David hated violence. He hated fighting – which he was often not allowed to say out loud considering he was a shadowhunter.

But it was the truth. He hated hurting people – or even things. It made him feel sick.

“It’s alright, Chouchou,” Mr Herondale ran a hand through David’s hair. “Next time, just-”

“Use my words?” David asked.

“Just don’t get caught,” the man winked.

and that is why I would never want to be a shadowhunter.

I know saying that doesn't do anything but when I first read tsc I wanted to be a shadowhunter really badly and damn that was some time ago but now...violence of any kind is my biggest trigger idek why. and I hate that so much because what kind of a person gets triggered by loud voices and fighting EVEN ON SCREEN??? I usually just push myself to watch stuff because it's dumb. I refuse to see trigger warnings before reading a book or watching a show because damn it, I should be able to stand those things I'm, not a child. and it may be doing me more harm than good but I shouldn't feel like this in the first place

okay...that was long

ANYWAY

“David, I appreciate you standing up for Max,” the Consul said. “But next time, please try not to punch anyone in the face.”

“Yes, sir,” David nodded. “Because it’s wrong.”

“Because it means more paperwork for me,” the Consul groaned and then straightened up. “But yes. Absolutely. Very wrong. No punching people!”

LMAO ALEC

Jackson...

I was wrong then

He was grinning. Magnus Bane must have raised hell in the shadow market.

that must have been fun

Max was doing that thing where he was not trying to pout but he was mostly definitely pouting. It made David want to kiss him. But then the Consul spoke, and David reminded himself he didn’t want to be the third person to get punched in the face this evening.

well-

“I understand that Jackson has been through a lot. But that’s not an excuse for him to hurt those around him. I learned that lesson the hard way. So, you shouldn’t excuse his behaviour.”

someone's trauma and pain is never an excuse to hurt others

but that doesn't mean we should invalidate their trauma either

“You can stay back and try to help him. I won’t stop you,” the man got up now. “But if he tries to hurt you-”

“You will unleash hell?” David chuckled.

“Worse,” the other man grinned. “I will unleash Lexi.”

that is much much worse

Books brought him comfort in so many ways. Just holding one in his hands automatically made him feel better.

oh my god

he gets it

I always have a book with me when I'm out even if I'm not gonna get the time to read it because just the weight and comfort of it in my hands or in my backpack brings me so much comfort and helps with my social anxiety so much

no one understands when I try to tell them that

you get it...

someone gets it finally

AYYY IRENE

“David, it’s very sweet that you want to protect Jackson,” Kit pointed out. “But literally no one is buying that. Not even Irene.”

The lynx purred on his lap as if she agreed with Kit.

“I could break into a liquor cabinet,” David said a little indignantly.

David is the nicest you can get

David wouldn’t. Apparently, everyone already seemed to know that - even the lynx he had met five minutes ago.

we are solving something in class and it's really quiet because we're all doing our work (I'm reading the fic so-) and this one person had their mic open and they kept on whispering their steps and it was so weird I cant-

BUT YES DAVID IS A CINNAMON ROLL. EVEN THE LYNX KNOWS

“We were talking about shitty fathers,” Jackson pointed out. “You’re welcome to stay.”

“I’m gonna need something stronger than red wine for this conversation,” Kit chuckled.

I remember that bitch

David used to do it when he was a child. He used to pretend his life was a story. He used to pretend everything that happened to him was happening to some other boy – a boy who wasn’t real. A boy who lived inside a book. Because it hurt a little less when you pretend like it wasn’t happening to you.

But the pain was still very real.

OK YOU CAN STOP CALLING ME OUT NOW

“I fucking hate ogres,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Was your father an ogre too?” Jackson asked.

“He was more like a harpy,” Kit snorted. “He was always flying and fleeing. I didn’t know how deep his talons were in my head until it was too late.”

you really like traumatizing all your characters, don't you?

I really fucking hope the ogre got what he deserved

and if the angel is dead then fuck everyone

“I mean, there was that time when Sebastian Morgenstern turned my father into the endarkened, and then he went around killing people. So, I would say he was more like a zombie,” the man was explaining now. “The zombie father tried to kill me but my brother killed him first.”

“Good lord!” Jackson said in shock.

Kit chuckled softly. “Boy do shadowhunters need therapy.”

they really do

He knew about those from New York. He knew Mr Herondale and Miss Fairchild went for one together.

YES GET THEM THERAPY

“Yikes,” Kit chuckled. “I’d prefer something classier. How about London Boys?”

“None of us are from London though,” Tiberius pointed out.

“The Beatles are not actually beetles, Ty,” Kit chuckled. “It’s just for pizazz.”

damn guys

Then the idea of a band turned into a possible YouTube channel where they would react to cute animal videos.

YS DO IT

“When people do awful things, really awful things, at one point we stop being surprised. Like what Valentine did to his children or what our fathers did to us or what those women did to Rafael. We might have been shocked or disgusted. But it wasn’t unrealistic, was it?”

“I guess not,” the boy said.

“Even when they did the most unimaginable acts of cruelty, it somehow managed to fit into our imagination. We accepted that the world can be unrealistically cruel. The kind of cruelty we will never understand. But why isn’t it the same for kindness? Why is that when someone is too kind, we automatically feel uncomfortable? We judge their intensions or think they are just pretending to be nice. We think they are being unrealistic. Why is that?”

we get so used to cruelty that kindness feels weird

“But that’s how our life works, doesn’t it? It’s a giant ball of what ifs and could have beens and if nots. What if my father had loved me instead of hurt me? Could I have been kinder if I was hugged instead of being abused? Would have I been a different person if not for my trauma? Our lives are an endless collection of theories about our real selves. The one didn’t we never had the chance to become.”

THIS

I used to spend a bunch of time on the what-ifs but those are useless. so screw the what-ifs and live in the present

“I guess we’ll never know, Jackson. None of us will never know how we would have turned out if things had been different for us. We never got the chance to be who were meant to be. Instead, we became who we had to become to survive what we went through. We will never know our true selves. We only know the version of us that made it through all the trauma.”

“Christ, that’s depressing,” Jackson said.

“It is,” David nodded. “But we made it through. We survived. I think we should focus on that.”

you survived. that's what matters

“There is nothing wrong with wanting to be rescued,” David smiled.

I wish I had heard this before...

maybe I don't always have to be strong. maybe it's ok sometimes just want to be saved.

I'm so happy that both Jackson and David found each other

David had learned Gaelic. Jackson had learned how to play the piano.

They had laughed and lived and loved and learned.

And they had survived – one day at a time. The London Boys.

they survived.

I know I'm always key smashing and screaming but these words, these lines, all these chapters mean so so much to me.

“You’ll write to me, won’t you?” David asked, hugging Jackson closely.

“No,” Jackson replied. “I will FaceTime you like a normal person, you weirdo!”

David laughed at that. “I prefer letters. They are more emotional.”

“I’ll text you,” Jackson countered. “With emojis.”

oh to have someone write me letters.

I love writing letters

once at the end of a school year, I wrote little letters to everyone in my class anonymously. even the people who had been mean to me. that was like 1-2 years after my transfer to that school and everyone practically hated me but I wanted to do something nice because who knows what someone is going through. I ended up not putting them in people's desks...

I threw them all away :)

but writing letters is superior

I often write my feelings down and give the letter to someone rather than talk to someone

if you receive a letter from me or a custom-made gift...you have reached my ultimate friendship

oh my god. THIS IS HOW I SHOULD TALK TO ONE OF MY FRIENDS ABOUT MY FEELINGS

It's kind of been a mess between us and I want to talk to her but I didn't know how to.

this is why i shouldn't send asks-

JACKSON CATCHING UP ON MAX AND DAVID

“You know what it means,” Jackson grinned harder. “Also, if that wanker tries to break your heart, I will break his face.”

“You know he is the Consul’s son?” David giggled.

“I’ve done it once and I will do it again,” Jackson shrugged. “He better treat you right.”

"wanker"

I HAVE A BRITISH ONLINE FRIEND AND THEY CALLED OUR AMERICAN ONLINE FRIEND A WANKER

AND OUR OTHER BRITISH FRIEND JOINED IN

WHILE ALL THE NON-BRITISH PEOPLE WERE LIKE "huh"

Lexi had cut her hair even shorter. Her girlfriend apparently got something called an undercut.

“Just in case someone dared to assume we were straight,” she had winked at him.

how many years has this fake dating been going on...

CENTURION SELENA

fterA the twins went to bed, David stepped out of the institute and went looking for his heart.

"went looking for his heart"

OH FUCK I FORGOT TO JOIN MY CLASS

MAX STOP DEPLETING YOUR SELF GODDAMN

And then somewhere along the way, Max’s heartbeat had become the steadiest thing in David’s life.

Max, with all his chaos and drama and danger, had become the steadiest thing in David’s life.

oh my god that's a parallel from canon

“Tell me why.”

“Ain't nothing but a heart break!!"

Max-

Max could make fireballs that killed demons on the spot. He could summon things from anywhere. He could heal people with his eyes closed. He was one of the youngest warlocks allowed to visit the spiral labyrinth.

Max was a warlock in every sense. A good one. A great one even.

he is so talented...

Only idiots would underestimate Magnus Bane’s power.

EXACTLY

He is probably going to be Consul like next week.”

David chuckled. “Next week?”

next week????

“Yeah, his smoking habits,” Max rolled his eyes.

Rafael wasn’t the smoker in the family. He knew who it was, but David would never open his mouth. It wasn’t his secret to tell.

this keeps on getting better

“It’s my hair!” David laughed.

“And you’re my David!” Max argued. “I say you are not allowed to grow your hair.”

MY DAVID

“I don’t want to downworld-splain it to you.”

Max blinked and then laughed. “You don’t want to what?”

“Downworld-splain,” David mumbled. “It’s when shadowhunters explain downworlders how to be downworlders.”

they were SO close to kissing

I'm gonna get in there and lock them in a closet together and tell them to FUCKING GET WITH IT

Remember who you are. Remember where you stand.

remember who you are. remember where you stand...

I know this is supposed to be about portals.

OH MY GOD THEY KISSED

THEY KISSED

IM SO CLOSE TO SCREAMING CLASS AND EVERYONE OUTSIDE THIS ROOM BE DAMNED

OH MY GOD DAVID FELL

reminds me of when alec fell down the stairs-

OH MY GOD I'M GONNA SCREAM

WE'RE GONNA GET MORE MAVID CONTENT SOON I'M SCREAMING INTERNALLY UYDRVFY7VSDU7UYVFSDUYGCADUYIGJCDSHJKGDVCSUGISDVHVF

ok, I have a computer assignment to get to and tests to study for. BUT I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO SO MUCH!! THEY FINALLY KISSED I'M SO HAPPY!!!!!

Also I know I tend to go off track and you can totally ignore that. i just go crazy. BYEE

This live blog gives me so much life you don't even know. I am go glad you enjoyed the chapter. I love hearing you rant about it. It's refreshing lol.

And I looooooove the lil anecdotes you share in between. Also wtf is a programming class like nobody wants to learn programme what kind of hetero nonsense I-

FINISH YOUR ASSIGNMENTS AND STUDY FOR YOUR TESTS I'LL SEE YOU SOON :)

#lbaf

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mostlymobilegames · 3 years

Text

I will win.

warnings: younger!Fencio, mentions of pain?? I think that's about it

summary: Unclaimed!Rebecca being herself

author's note: i get nostalgic about Rebecca every time I enter the app, this is just some ??backstory?? idk, i just missed her and I forced myself to not let this idea marinate in my notes for 29 years

•

My legs burn as I land on the ground violently again. Dust and rocks fly in every direction as I try to calm down.

Everything hurts. My back aches while my wings feel too heavy for it, my eyes are watery, my throat is unbelievably dry, my legs feel like they won’t keep me up for much longer and if I wasn’t so tired I might be bothered by the sweat making my clothes stick to my body. Almost there.

As I prepare to take off once again, something moves in my line of sight, but the wall of dust makes it impossible to see. Not that I need to, I feel him before I even hear his footsteps approaching. I take off immediately, every part of my body hurting in protest, my wings flapping with powerful moves despite the pain as I soar up and for a second I almost enjoy the brief sense of peace. I plunge back to the ground at full speed, my legs nearly giving out as I land once again. Fencio moves his hand leisurely, a strand of long, white hair along with it on accident, and the dust in the air vanishes as I try to compose myself. So much pain.

“Rebecca” he says in greeting, his voice distant but not hostile or arrogant.

“Throne Fencio.”

My voice comes out sharply as I struggle to control my breathing. My legs feel wobbly and I know I look completely unpleasant. I worry about embarrassing myself but Fencio doesn’t seem even a little put off by my current demeanor, although that’s not surprising. After knowing him for a short time, I figured he is not easy to read at all, which I find annoying, given that he usually has such a good read on me. He is either a good actor or there’s nothing worth his reactions. Or maybe I’m not good enough at picking him apart.

“Tomorrow is an important day for you.” So this is why he came.

After that… incident with my first assignment, Fencio kept true to his word. He followed my progress attentively, helped me with my studies and my training, teaching me how to manage without him or anyone and interfering only when necessary. His help never came with the condescension I often got from other immortals, even the low ranked ones, my fellow students, and I always felt the need to prove myself to him because of that. And then to prove myself to anyone who challenges me, but I am not there yet.

“I know.” I say confidently as I can feel my body healing itself slowly. It’s not much but I would be nothing without it, and I know that by tomorrow I’ll be fully recovered.

Fencio says nothing for a moment and I feel uneasy. Something sparkles in his eyes and his lips twitch, which is something he does rarely, but I always notice, and I never know what it means. It’s all gone in an instant and he’s back to his neutral expression, as usual.

“I have no doubt that you’ll kill the Serpent and that it will improve your reputation greatly” he pauses and I feel something inside me stir. Does he actually think I’ll fail and he’s just being nice?

The thought of Fencio seeing me as a disappointment makes me angry, but I know that can’t be true. He noticed my potential, my drive from the beginning and took me under his wing. I worked and I work hard for everything, but I know I would have never gotten this far, this quick without him. Some days I feel like he sees me like his part-time project, someone to mold into a better immortal because he decided it’s his responsibility. Other days I can consider him my confidant, since calling him a friend seems out of line, but Fencio has done nothing to betray my trust. Most days however, he is, without a doubt, my mentor, and now I feel ashamed for questioning his intentions, even if his attitude is making me wary.

“I won’t be able to attend the competition due to some personal matters, but I’ll seek you out afterwards as soon as I can.” he says and I feel immediate relief. I was worrying for nothing.

“Of course.” I respond and he shifts as if to signify he wants to leave.

“I’ll let you finish your workout. Don’t stay up too late. Rest well and… good luck.”

I nod and scoff internally, he says nothing more but makes no move to leave.

Suit yourself then. I turn around and walk a few steps away from him so I can properly spread my wings, and take off, glad that the pain still lingers but is much more bearable. I swear I can feel his eyes on me as I ascend, but when I turn around to drop down he isn't there, and I can’t contain my grin any longer.

Good luck? I don’t need luck.

…

I open the window wide as the cold breeze of the night sweeps into my room.

After I finished training and took a well-deserved shower, I went to bed. Even though I wanted to sleep until the morning, my body apparently had other plans and I woke up a few hours later, feeling refreshed and infinitely grateful for my immortal powers and my fast recovering body.

I realize immediately I’m alone in my dorm room. It’s pretty late and dark outside, which means my roommate is out doing something I’d rather not know about, since I doubt she’s training this late. She better not bring back any issues with her, I have enough on my plate.

I take a deep breath of fresh air and let it soothe my worries and clear my head. Everything is fine. Cliffs and bits of land levitate in the horizon, poorly illuminated by the moon and the glowing insects of different sizes hanging around them. A giggle is heard somewhere below me but it stops almost instantly, returning the night to its comforting silence. Something moves in the distance, seemingly coming up from behind a tree. I can’t make out who it is, but I am sure the figure is facing me and I recognize the blood red colored wings in a second. They flap lazily in that inviting gesture I’m way too familiar with. There are no demands made, no expectations or formalities to deal with, just the chance to spend some time with him, and I know I have no obligation to accept or respond.

Still, I wait, unmoving. It’s late and the chances of us getting caught together are small, there is no one out there. But what if someone follows me? There are too many immortals that don’t like me and it’s not exactly like I try to make friends. A part of me doesn’t think any of them would go to the extent of actively trying to ruin me, but it’s better to never underestimate the hatred one can build up for someone else. For someone better.

I don’t get to think more about it since he takes my lack of reaction as a refusal and flies back behind the same tree. I should take his leave as a blessing and go to bed, or do something else, but I don’t. I think about what would happen if I got caught, all of my efforts going to waste for the most stupid reason. I think about how everyone who ever doubted me would be right and I’d never get to prove them wrong, and how I could lose everything in the blink of an eye like back on Earth.

I climb the out the window with newfound strength, as I concentrate on my surroundings. There’s no one after me. I spread my wings and jump, hoping no one is staying by the window to witness an Unclaimed breaking curfew. Thankfully, I get there quickly and quietly, and I’m surprised to see Winchesto sitting down, his back against a thick tree trunk. I was sure he left and I would’ve had to find him.

He turns his head towards me and grins, his face full of happiness. Seeing him so glad to see me hurts.

“I didn’t think you’d come.” he says but there isn’t a hint of anything negative in his tone, as if he wouldn’t have blamed me for not following him. I know he wouldn’t have.

I say nothing as I slide down next to him, so close that our sides touch. The contact is small and delicate, barely there, but it feels like a battle is starting inside me. I turn to look at him as he does the same, our faces so close I can’t tell if my breathing is so loud or his. Winchesto’s eyes are gentle and there’s something so peaceful behind them, something that makes it so easy to relax. This could end us both. I tense up as my thoughts go in the wrong direction again. He notices and, as if reading my mind, he backs away a little and I feel awful, even though I know it’s for the best. For both of us.

“I’ll cheer for you tomorrow.” he breaks the silence, like I didn’t just reject him indirectly moments ago.

I laugh, but it sounds forced even to my own ears.

“That would raise some eyebrows.” I say half jokingly, half concerned and Winchesto shrugs, as if nothing could ever get him in trouble.

“Angels and demons get excited for this too, even if they don’t participate. If you think about it, they probably enjoy it more than their usual competitions, because they get the entertainment without the repercussions of losing. Many of them pick their favorites among the Unclaimed so they can place bets on them or just make a big deal out of whoever wins and gloat.”

“Did you bet on me?” I ask genuinely curious but Winchesto ignores my question.

“My point is: no one will care if I cheer for you, they’ll all be busy cheering too... or booing.”

I laugh honestly as he smiles sweetly, the tension from before long forgotten. We sit in silence after that, looking every now and then at each other, and neither of us seems to mind it. Neither of us feels like the silence is painful and that it needs to be disrupted and I realize, in that moment, that Winchesto is so dear to me, that I trust him so much, that I want to be around him and share everything with him, knowing he’d never use anything against me. I want to tell him about my worries, about my goals, about my pain and my life from before, about how I’ll achieve everything I’ve ever wanted and how I’ll be at the top. For a second, I even want to tell him about how I scouted the path to the Serpent and memorized every detail, or how I’ve hidden weapons along the way into the secluded spots I found in case I run out of energy.

But I don’t. I don’t tell him anything, and the part of me that’s been trying to keep me at bay, the part that I’ve cultivated so carefully knows I am doing what’s right. For both of us. It’s safe for Winchesto to not know what could hurt him, even if he’d like to know as much as I’d like to tell.

It’s late.

I stand up abruptly, dusting myself off while he continues to sit, looking at me calmly. I start walking away, knowing how it looks and hoping he doesn’t feel the hurt as much as me. I don’t want to leave like this, but I feel lost and I don’t know how to deal with it.

“Good night, Rebecca.” he whispers loud enough for me to hear it.

I let out a breath I haven’t realized I’ve been holding on and turn my head to look at him. He’s still sitting comfortably, looking unfazed and I’m glad. I’m glad it’s not that bad for him, or maybe he just takes it better than me.

“You should bet on me tomorrow. I will win.” is the only thing I say to him before taking off, leaving him there and not looking back.

#also sorry for any mistakes #i finished this on like 4 hours of sleep😴#romance club #heaven's secret #fanfic #my writing

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batarella · 4 years

Text

I Don’t Hate You - Part 18 (Jason Todd x Reader)

MOTHER FUCKERS THE FLUFF IS BACK I REPEAT THE FLUFF IS BACK AND THIS IS THE MOST I WROTE IN A SINGLE DAY I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY THIS

ALSO YOURE LOOKING AT THE BITCH YOU ACTUALLY WROTE A FUCKING SONG FOR THE LOVE OF THIS ASSHOLE HAHAHAHAHAHA I ACTUALLY WROTE Y/N’S ORIGINAL SONG HOW BOUT THAT

WORDS: 9079 FUCKING WORDS WARNINGS: FLUFFFFFFFFFF (and a lil angst) ALSO SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE ORPHAN

Masterlist

I DON’T HATE YOU - MASTERLIST

-----

It was a dirty, dangerous promise and he never should’ve given in at the last minute.

The rational part of him left over from his existing sanity endlessly scolded him for the reckless act of leaving before he’d knowingly change his mind of promising you crucial, needless to say dangerous three days. Just a few months ago, he rose from the dead, defied the odds, cold-bloodedly murdered dozens of people a single night, and the one moment he let his guard down, he let himself look into your eyes and give in. He gave in. Like the idiotic teenage boy you thought he still was. He definitely wasn’t that anymore, and he knew for an obvious, undeniable fact that there was no turning around who he was, or what he was now.

And all those months of hiding in the shadows, barely keeping up his stealth just so you wouldn’t suspect anything out of him, it had all gone for nothing because of Grayson’s blabber mouth he wanted to put a bullet in right now. He did that for a purpose. He never wanted you to see him the way he was right now. He knew what he was doing was absolutely necessary, do what Batman was too much of a coward to do and end the lives that would’ve taken a hundred more of the innocents’.

But it didn’t mean he thought it was right. He hated morals and patronized Bruce so much for that, when he was Robin and still lived under his roof. But each time he shed blood, there was no denying that he wished there would have been other alternatives to have put them down for good. Which there wasn’t. This was his ultimate, necessary resort. He’d do that if he had to, never mind people looking down on him or seeing him in a bad light. At least, he knew, that he saved so many with his actions. That alone was enough to drive him to do what he does.

He wouldn’t hide it, but when it came to you, Y/N, you’d be ashamed of what he’d become. When you loved, you loved hard. He had never felt so secure with anyone else. You loved him greatly, and you made him feel like you were terrified of losing him, maybe even more than he was terrified of losing you, which was already great in itself. And he reveled in that love, made sure he never took advantage of it and gave you the exact same amount of love back. Not because he had to, but because he actually did love you that much. And he wanted you to feel that.

But that was when you were kids… As great as that love was, he couldn’t possible rekindle anything for now. You were of no part of his vigilante life when he met you, and he made sure it stayed that way. That was why he never came to tell you. You were so precious to him, the best taste of a life that was normal, content, and happy beyond what he could describe. He didn’t want you to be exposed to any of that. It was basically why he left you the moment you knew about him.

Now, he was ten times worse. He willingly killed. He made deals with actual human demons. He’s a part of the most dangerous debacles the whole world has ever seen. With the League, the al Ghul’s, the fact that he was a living, breathing zombie. You just couldn’t be a part of that anymore. No matter how much his life turned to the worst, he couldn’t have this for you. He couldn’t possibly be worth all the pain and trouble that came with merely being by his side. Not a chance. He wouldn’t make himself worth it.

If he was, he’d put you in the worst place possible. And you didn’t deserve that.

He fell in love with how human, genuine, and real you were. All those times he had with you, dates and adventures and lying in bed laughing all night, he couldn’t possibly destroy that. You deserved that kind of happiness and normality that strayed you away from the danger that he was.

But if it meant spending the next three days with you, going through all this just to give you the kind of closure you never had the first time he left, it was the least he could do. And after that, if you truly kept to your promise, you’d move on from him and live the life you always deserved. And you had to. He’ll make sure of that. He’ll make sure that the next three days, you’ll either be so repulsed of the sight of him, or give you a slow, much needed exit from his life that was unnecessarily dramatic but still all the more necessary. He’ll give you that. You deserved that. No matter how much he didn’t.

He’ll keep his cool, maintain enough distance not to spark anything he wouldn’t want to start that would only make matters worse. He’ll make sure you’d instead be exhausted of your apparent attachment to him, and by the end of this, you’ll willingly leave. Even though this was extremely idiotic in his part and defied practically everything he told himself not to fall into for the last few months since he had enough sanity in him to have any logical thought, he’ll have to orchestrate this whole thing so it ends as smoothly as it should.

And when this is all over, when you finally get to live your life, he promised himself that he’ll never-ever-see you again.

He won't follow you back home from your university, to your part time job, to the restaurants you go with your friends or even an alley you were too dangerous to go in. He scared all the thugs enough not to go back. So it was safe. Hopefully.

No matter how much it stung, he’ll stay away from you. For good.

Jason, wearing a black hoodie and some jeans despite the warm summer weather, walked down the sidewalk going down to your street. He was nervous, and all the promises he kept for himself, he made sure to remember them before he left this morning.

When he reached the curb, he stopped before the pedestrian lane and waited for the light to turn green.

You were there, right outside your apartment standing by the steps. Right across from him. You wore a dark red sleeveless top and a skirt that went down to your thighs. Your eyes were on your phone, momentarily looking up. No wind blew against your hair, but it flowed to your little movement, falling from behind your shoulder down to your chest.

He didn’t see it last night, especially with it being so dark.

But you grew up so beautifully mellowed, exactly how he would’ve envisioned you to look now from three years ago, except he didn’t realize he’d be in this place now. And with it being everything he expected, it meant that you, despite the futile halting of his mesmerized thoughts, were heart-stoppingly beautiful in every way he could have imagined.

He watched you, from the other side of the street, making sure his sweating palms were out of sight. The car noises and crowd talking had been long blurred out and silenced. His eyes, they were poignant and unmoving, forehead creased up like he was worried when there shouldn’t be anything to worry about. People around him started to cross the lane, and he went along with them. He never dared to look away from you, not even for a second. You looked up, tapping your phone onto your palm.

When you caught his eyes, you smiled.

He knew he shouldn’t.

But your smile, small, yet everything he thought he’d never get to see ever again, it unwillingly forced him to smile back. Jason reached the sidewalk, went over to you, and you kept your pretty little smile as you waited for him.

“Hi.”

He breathed in, forgetting just about everything he thought about at that quick minute he stood in a trance and cleared his throat. “Let’s go.”

“You have anything planned?” You placed your hands in front of you.

“Not exactly. You?”

“I do… if you’d let me.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I’ll go wherever.”

“Okay,” you smiled. “I drive.”

“I drive.”

“It’s my car.”

“I don’t know where you’ll take me.”

“You said we can go wherever we want.”

“Just tell me where you wanna go, and I’ll take us there.”

You snorted and rolled your eyes. “Fine, jackass.”

You took him to your car that you had parked just outside your apartment. It was a black sedan, probably from your dad. “Nice ride.”

“Thanks. It’s my dad’s old car.”

You both got in, with him at the driver’s seat. “You and your dad doing good?”

“He wanted me off his life now that he has a new wife and everything. I demanded an apartment, a car, and money for my tuition, or else I wouldn’t stop sneaking into his house and destroy his stuff.”

“Jesus. How the fuck are you still not arrested?”

You made a satisfied, proud little sound when you shrugged. Jason exhaled with a bit of a laugh and started the ignition. “Where are we off to?”

“You know that outdoor Italian place by the plaza?”

“Italian?”

“My treat.”

“Are you serious?”

He should have known you’d turn this into a date. This was everything he hoped wouldn’t happen.

“I have something to do there. Just drive.”

“Fine. Jeez.”

He drove off into the streets, not long before he reached the plaza and parked by one of the empty spots near the open grassy field. You got off the car, walked by his side and you reached Giuseppe’s. It was a quaint little place, just by a giant open field where people usually took their dogs to. The inside was quite full, red and black plaid covering most of the décor. The outside, on the other hand, looked beautiful. The metal seats and the small circular tables that littered the concrete ground built on top of the grass, where trees were around enough to give enough shade from the sun. and there were lines tied from one end of the restaurant all the way to the roof that had little fairy lights on them that would have been gorgeous at night.

He wasn’t comfortable in the slightest. He barely goes out during the day. And he hated being around so many people. In fact, this was probably the first time he eats out of the house that wasn’t the cheap diner across the street. He hated every bit of it.

But anything for you, he guessed.

“For two,” you told the host. And they led you to an empty table in the middle where a big yellow umbrella was standing in the middle. You took your seats, and Jason gave you a dirty, disapproving look.

“This wasn’t supposed to be a date.”

You scoffed. “Sure. Call it that.”

“I didn’t call it a date-“

“Yeah, you totally did. What’s wrong with two friends eating lunch together?”

“At a pricey Italian place?”

“It’s not that expensive here. And take that hoodie off. It’s ninety degrees out.”

He leaned back against his chair, collecting his breath, then pulled down his hoodie.

“That wasn’t so bad, now was it?”

“Shut up.”

Friends. He had to remember that. You called him your friend. He should be happy. It wouldn’t be as hard when you say goodbye to him after 72 hours if you were just his friend.

The waiter came in, and you both gave your orders. You leaned in, smiling, and he tried not to smile back, but the smirk on your face just made him want to chuckle.

“Alright, what is it you wanted to do here?”

From your medium sized purse you had slung over your shoulder, you pulled out a camera, a large black one, and your phone. You scrolled to one of the screenshots you had and handed it to him.

“For our finals, we’re told to write an original song, record it by ourselves, then we make a music video out of it.”

“That sounds…” he scratched the back of his head. “Impressive.”

“And I wanted to get some footage from here in the plaza.”

“You’re gonna film people without their consent?”

“Relax. I won't include their faces. Nothing to worry about.”

You imitated his voice with that last sentence and it made his skin crawl. “Whatever.”

You placed your camera back into your bag.

“You wrote a song, huh?”

“Yeah. Plenty. I’ve gotten good practice overtime.”

“Really?” he leaned over, curving up the corner of his mouth. “Let me hear them.”

“No, you dingus. It’s a really rough draft.”

“All your songs are rough drafts?”

“For now.” The waiter gave you your glasses of water. You drank from it. “I never got to record them in a studio. I had to do them on my own.”

“You have equipment and everything?”

“I have enough. The school lends us what we need.”

“And you wrote the lyrics and wrote the sheets and everything?”

“Everything.” You smiled proudly. “Shouldn’t have doubted you when you told me to choose music.”

Jason smiled at the memory, drinking from his glass. “Yeah…”

Your food eventually came. And you both opted to eat in silence. He shouldn’t be talking so much. He had to remember why he was here in the first place. He shouldn’t be remembering anything that hits too close to what he had to avoid.

He looked up, momentarily watched you eat your pasta.

In a fancy Italian place. Or the school cafeteria.

He smiled at the sight of you.

-----

“Okay.”

You held your camera up, pointed it at the restaurant when you stood a reasonable distance away on the open field. You looked up, squinted at the sun, then adjusted the lens to get the right amount of light in the shot.

“Jay, stand here.”

“What?”

“Here,” you pointed to your side. “Cover the light.”

“Why me-“

“You grew half a foot since I last saw you. You’re tall enough to block the fucking sun. Come.”

Jason made sure you heard his annoyed grunt and stood over to give you the shade you needed. “Perfect.”

“I feel used.”

“Well, were you just gonna stand there and be useless?”

“When I said I gave you three days, I didn’t mean to be your fucking assistant.”

“Then you should’ve thought of that before you agreed.”

You started recording. Jason must have thought you were filming the couples on a date, kids running about on the grass. You could have covered people’s eyes and caught the bright smiles on their faces, how their face creased up when they laughed so hard they almost toppled off their seats.

But that wasn’t what you were going for.

Instead, you caught the lone man, sitting crouched over on a table with no one sitting next to him. His face was looking down at his book, and his eyes looked almost shut closed. He didn’t once look up at the people around him, at the waiter that gave him his drink. He didn’t even order much but a single plate of pizza. You didn’t catch his whole face, but you caught his eyes, his hands on his book. His back turned to the otherwise on going scene of events around him that he couldn’t be bothered to watch. He probably wasn’t sad, but he definitely looked like it.

You stopped recording and looked back at your footage.

“He won't like that.”

“Hush. No one will recognize him. And no one’s going to find out when the only people actually getting to watch this shit are my professors and a few beta watchers.”

You placed the camera down, then looked around.

“Quick, Jay. Help me find more depressing things to film.”

“Is this another disturbing horror film you made a bunch of in high school?”

“No…”

You winked at him and he guffawed. “I can't believe I let you drag me into this.”

“Quit complaining.”

“You know what this reminds me of?”

He shouldn’t. he really shouldn’t. but he couldn’t help it.

“When you hold me hostage just to help you with your little projects in class.”

“Hey,” you countered, pointing the camera at him. “You happen to be a very good assistant.”

“I’m not your assistant.”

“I passed all my classes with your help, remember?”

Jason ran his fingers through his hair and you noticed him give it a little tug. “Fine. I’ll help you.”

“Good. Now find me another sad thing to film.”

You both started walking down the park’s open area. Kids were running around, people sat on the grass with picnic lunches being set up. People were actually smiling, and the sun shining so brightly didn’t help with the mood, either.

“There.”

Jason pointed you at a bench where a kid was crying. Alone. He didn’t look like he had a scraped knee or anything much to cry about. He was probably lost. “Thanks.”

You took your camera, aimed it at the kid, and made sure you got a shot of his head curved down, his arms covering his body with his legs trembling as they hung off the edge of the bench. You caught the sight of his mouth curving down, the tears running down his face, and you especially made sure to catch him sniffing and wiping his snot off with just his arm. “Poor kid,” Jason said.

“Aaaand, we got it.” You smiled brightly, looking back at your footage with wide eyes and a proud look on your face. You even laughed when you got the shot of his snot.

Jason frowned at you.

“Seriously?”

“What?”

“That kid’s crying.”

“What do you want me to do about it?”

“Go help him.”

“I’m not gonna-“

“Y/N.”

“I make kids cry, not make them feel better.”

Jason laughed at that and shook his head. “Go help him. You got footage from him and it’s the least you could do.”

“He’s not-“

“If you won't do it, then I will.”

You stuffed the camera in your bag and let out a long, irritated grunt. “Fine.”

He walked by your side, and you made your way to the bench. The boy didn’t look up at you, or even notice that you were standing by his side. Jason nudged your shoulder.

“Hey kid,” you said.

He looked up.

“You lost your mom?”

The boy nodded, sniffing and wiping his tears.

You cocked your hip to the side. “Next time listen to her and never keep her out of your sight. The information desk is over there, and if you want you can talk to one of the security gua-“

“Jesus…” Jason set you aside and stepped in to sit beside the little guy. He looked up at him, scared, but Jason gave him a kind smile.

“You alright there, bud?”

The boy licked his lips, rocking his legs in the air. Jason scooted nearer to him. “I like your shirt. You like Batman, huh?”

He nodded slightly, the tears in his eyes coming to a stop.

“Well, I heard he’s not that great. Between you and me, Wonder Woman’s a lot better than he is.”

“Really?”

“By a mile. Plus, she has powers. Can’t get any cooler than that.”

“I guess…”

You sat back, watched him talk to the kid until his nose got a lot less stuffy and his frown turn into a funny little grin when Jason told him a joke.

You smiled, watching Jason’s face scrunch up and his eyes crinkling at the corners.

“Wanna go find your mom?”

“Yes, please.”

He stood up, and he held Jason by the wrist. You stood behind them, watching them. And when Jason took him back to the playground where he said he lost his mother, he kneeled down to the kid’s height.

“You ran a long way, bud. Be careful next time. Do you find her?”

He looked around through the dozens of other women in the area watching their children. Jason stood up, seeing from above. And when he saw a woman frantically looking around from the slides, he held the kid’s shoulder. “That her?”

“Yes! Thank you!!!”

The kid looked so happy, giving Jason a high five before he left to hug his mother. Jason watched him leave, then turned to you.

You felt your heart so warm. Jason had always been good with kids.

A killer. A murderous vigilante. He was definitely that. You could see it.

But you were right when you knew the best parts of him could never be killed off.

“That’s how you talk to a kid,” he said.

“You know I was never really good with them.”

“Damn straight,” he said, then your started walking back down the way you came. “You go to nurseries and make a whole batch of kids cry for help.”

“It’s a very fun thing to watch. Kid’s cry funny.”

“I thought you said you changed when you kept your promises.”

“Oh, I did. In most ways…”

Jason laughed with you. You haven’t heard him laugh in three years. You watched every second of it until his face eventually mellowed down.

“Where to next?”

“I’m going to need more footage. What else can you find?”

You both looked around. “Let’s go to the pond.”

You walked with him.

A large pond in the middle of the park, and with the sun slowly starting to lessen its shine, the scene looked more like what you’d envision. Thank god, it was a slow day. Otherwise the place would have been packed. The pond was dark, green, and looked a bit stuffy, but there were swans around that floated in the streams.

And on top, reaching from one end to the other, was a narrow bridge painted in a dark, wooden grey. It perched perfectly on top of the water and reflected off of the surface. With the light it was hitting, it was perfect. Jason stood close to you.

“You’re filming just the pond?”

“I’m waiting for someone to stand there and look over at the water all depressed.”

And you waited, for a good few minutes.

But it was either a bunch of kids running across, a couple hand in hand, or old women feeding the swans with bags of bread.

“Jay. Huge favor.”

“No.”

“Just hear me out.”

“Oh, I definitely know where this is going.”

“Just a few seconds.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Cover your head with your hoodie.”

“You go do it. And I’ll film you.”

“We’re not allowed to be in the shots. You have to do it.”

“I hardly believe that’s true.”

“Well, it is, and I can show you the module right now.”

“Don’t bother. I’m not doing it.”

“Please, Jay.”

“Motherfucker-“

“Please.”

Jason cursed. “That doesn’t work on me.”

“Just stand there and do nothing.”

“I don’t want my face on camera.”

“Your face won't be on it. I’m desperate. Just help me out with this.”

Jason closed his eyes, bit both his lips, and you heard him count to ten with the lowest voice.

“Come on, Jay. So we can go.”

“Fine. But this is the last one.”

You smiled so widely at him and he glared at you. “Thanks, Jay.”

“Shut up.”

He waited until no one was around, then pulled the hood over his head. He slowly walked over to the bridge, resting his elbows onto the railing and looking right down at the water.

You licked your lips and aimed your camera. You pressed record.

He looked…

Exactly as you thought he was on the inside. On the darkest parts of him where the demons could never leave. His head was craned so down, his eyes hooded and dark. His arms, although relaxed, almost seemed like he was shielding himself from the world going on. He looked scared. Alone.

You continued to record, holding your breath.

It was painful to watch.

But you couldn’t stop looking.

If you could, and if only you’d let him, you’d have pulled him into your arms, hugged him from behind and stuffed your face into his neck.

You swallowed, turning the camera off. And you looked away before your thoughts could consume you.

Jason walked over to you, took his hoodie off, then gave you that annoyed, playful glare.

-----

You pulled out your phone, balanced it on top of the car’s speakers with the audio plugged in. You made sure it was stable, then you leaned onto your seat. Jason caught you just as you finished, stepping into the car with paper bags of fries and hotdogs on a bun with drinks for your dinner. The sky had long dimmed down, but you insisted not to go home yet. You prepared more than three movies for you to watch and it was all from the comfort of your car seats.

Jason reclined his chair with you and settled in. He gave you your share of the food. “Alright. What do you got?”

“Ever watched Orphan?”

“Back when I was a kid. I can barely remember anything.”

“Well, we’re watching it now.”

“I thought you went through all the serial killer movies you could find.”

“I like to re-watch the best ones.”

Jason sipped on his soda. “Go ahead.”

You started the movie, took a bite out of your hotdog and sat back.

He wasn’t supposed to say yes to this. It was all getting way too intimate for his like. He should’ve insisted you go home and turn the movie off before you got any more ideas. Knowing how you used to be, you manipulated people to get your way. You’d be doing the same thing to him right now.

But.

Still, you insisted. And with you being so pushy and all, he didn’t have much of a choice.

Three days. That’s all there is.

This is the least he can do.

He looked at you, watched you chew on the fries like a kid with candy, then turned his attention to the movie.

It started with a mom and dad with a strained relationship going out to adopt a little nine-year old girl, who honestly looked too much like a demon spawn out of hell.

“Who the fuck adopts a girl looking like that?”

“Well…” You loudly sipped on your drink.

Jason looked at you.

“I looked like that. At one point.”

“You're kidding.”

“Yeah,” you snorted. “I never told you?”

“I know you looked like Wednesday Adams.”

“I actually dressed a lot like Esther there.” Esther. The name of the nine-year old girl. “I followed her clothes and hair. Even her makeup. I wanted to creep out the adults, you know?”

Jason laughed out loud and took a bite out of his bun. “You're insane.”

“In fact, I think she looks real good.”

“Shh. Let’s watch.”

You bit your lips when it came to the sex scene in the kitchen. And Jason tried to distract himself with the soda and drank as loudly as he could to try to drown out the moans. You looked at him, awkwardly, then laughed.

“When grown ups love each other very, very much, they want to show each other that love,” the mother told Esther. “They wanna express it.”

The nine-year-old looked at her. “I know. They fuck.”

You and Jason snorted out your drinks and laughed so hard you swore you could taste the fries coming out of your nose. You threw your head back against the seat, drinking from your straw just to stop yourselves from missing too much of the movie.

“Fucking love that part.”

“I know.”

You watched on as Esther started killing pigeons and bullied one of her classmates. You laughed, and Jason looked at you quizzically. “That’s so you.”

“When I was ten.”

“Sure.”

Jason watched you laugh, rolling your eyes at him, and he took a moment for his lingering gaze on you before he looked back.

“That kid’s gonna kill the nun.”

“Dude, don’t spoil it.”

“I thought you watched this!”

“Well, I forgot most of what happened and I want to relive the insanity that is this movie.”

“Alright, fine.” You smiled.

The nun was warning the mother of what happens with the girl around, saying how bad things always followed wherever she went. She ignored the nun, and Esther, with that creepy look on her face, struck the nun’s head with a hammer.

“I know I said hammers used to be my favorite toy-“

“I wasn’t going to say anything.”

“Really? You weren’t about to say I could have killed a nun like that?”

“No. But you certainly did a number on a whole lot of people.”

You glowered at him. “Thanks a lot, Todd.”

“Pleasure’s all mine.”

Esther then brought her mother a bouquet of flowers from their stillborn daughter’s grave, then the mother grabs her arm, after which Esther fakes an injury and blames her for it.

“Okay-“

“Y/N, I swear if this ain’t you-“

“I know I faked an injury once-“

“Yeah, you fucking did.”

“But that girl deserved it.”

“All she did was invite me to her house for a project that we were paired up with and you got so jealous that you purposely bumped into her so her coffee would spill. Then you faked a burn on your hand.”

“I-“

“What? You gonna deny that?”

You groaned and threw a French fry at his face. “Shut up.”

It was wrong. So wrong. But fuck, he hadn’t smiled so much since he fucking died.

“Stop comparing me to this nutjob.”

The nutjob in question, Esther, waited for her mother to get out of the car. Then with the baby still inside, she released the brakes and let the car roll all the way down the hill to incoming traffic.

“Jesus Christ.”

“I have never done anything like that.” You pointed at yourself.

“If you did, I’d have called the cops on you.”

“I fucking swear on my life.”

“Okay, don’t get all defensive on me.”

“Oh, be quiet.”

You nudged Jason’s shoulder, then sipped the last of your drink.

Jason looked down, with the movie still ongoing, and saw how your elbow was just barely grazing against his own. He looked at your arm, trailing up to your face.

Then looked away before he had any more thoughts. Possibly of him pulling you to his arms and cuddle like you used to.

Ester then puts on a provocative looking dress, makeup, and acts like an adult woman trying to seduce her drunk father. It was disturbing to say the least. And you’ve seen the scariest shit in movies.

“This part made me the most uncomfortable,” Jason said.

“Are you sure? Not this part?”

Then, it was the scene you re-watched over and over. Esther storms into her room and takes off all the makeup that covered her age spots, her teeth, the scars on her wrists and neck, the bandage around her chest.

“A thirty-three-year old woman…”

“Fucking hell,” Jason breathed. “I can barely wrap my head around that.”

“Hey. Imagine if that kid you helped today was actually older than you.”

“Shut up.”

You laughed. “I’m serious. We don’t know. Any of these kids could be Esther.”

“I actually once read a news report.”

“This shit happened in real life?”

“Yeah.” Jason pulled out his phone then started searching for the article. “Here.”

A twenty-two year old woman from Ukraine with a rare case of dwarfism posed as a six-year old girl to her adopted family. It was almost exactly like the movie.

“Dammit, it’s actually real?” you asked.

“Yeah. And she goes by the name of Y/N.”

“Fuck you, you imbecile.”

“You did half the shit she did,” Jason laughed. You threw another French fry at him.

“I don’t act nor look like a little kid.”

“We don’t know. You could be forty.”

“I will stick this straw up your nose.”

“Fucking do it.”

You charged at him, laughing so hard when Jason blocked your arms, holding you by the wrists as you struggled to get off his hold. You dropped the empty cup on his lap, and you didn’t even realize the movie ended. Jason held your arms down, looked at you. “You can stop now.”

Your laugh turned into a small grin as you met his eyes. He was smiling back at you.

Then he let go of your hands, taking the cup off his pants and cleared his throat. You did the same, taking your phone from the stand and turning it off before the battery runs out.

“It’s getting late.”

He watched your face turn downcast. He was getting closer for all this to end. But you definitely weren’t looking forward to it.

“Hey. Look.”

He pointed out the window, where a girl was sitting by a tree, perfectly under the lamppost where she was lit up with just the right amount of light. She had her head down, arms crossed, and she looked alone.

“Fucking hell, this is gold.”

You both rushed out of the car, you holding onto your camera. You stormed out into the dark.

“Take it from there.” Jason pointed. You followed him and he stood next to you. You started filming.

The girl didn’t do much. She was just under the tree, staring at nothing. She was probably asleep waiting for someone to arrive. And there wasn’t anyone around except you two so it was perfect to get that shot. Jason looked at you, watched you work.

You put the camera to your eye, adjusting the lens at you worked. You had that small bite in your lips you often did when you were focused, and your eyebrows were furrowed.

A leaf fell to your head. He smiled.

He flicked it off with his finger and you looked up. “What?”

“Nothing.”

You went on with your work, and when the girl started to move away, you stopped recording and watched the footage. “What do you think?”

He took the camera in your hand.

You got a shot of her arms holding herself in a tight hug, her head down and her mouth, which was the only part of her face you captured, in a deep, sad frown. The light looked perfect, and you definitely had a talent with camera angles.

“This is really good.”

“Thanks.” You took the camera back and stuffed it into your bag.

“You think you got enough for your music video?”

“I certainly hope so. I’ve been filming since last week.”

“Is your song really that depressing?” he asked.

“Yeah, it is.”

You started walking back to the car.

Jason watched your face again. And asking without much thought on it, he coughed. “Can I hear it?”

You stopped from opening the car door.

“The song?”

“Yeah. Whatever you got in your phone. I wanna hear it.”

You started looking uncomfortable, looking at the ground and licking your lips. “I’m not sure if I should…”

“Come on.”

You took a deep breath, leaning your back against the car. Jason walked to the other side and stood next to you.

“Fine. But don’t tell me what you think of it.”

“Why not?”

“Just don’t.”

Jason laughed and stood in front of you. You looked up at him, at his eyes, at his lips, then you pulled your phone and earphones out.

He watched you scroll through your music, plug in your earphones, then you gave one to him. Jason placed it onto his ear, and the other one you stuck to yours. He looked at you.

You pressed play.

It started with piano keys, most probably played by you. You didn’t just record this with your phone. You basically did this in your own home studio you probably had in your room.

And it was beautiful. Your playing. Then you started to sing.

“I wake up… to a dream I thought I had…

A dream I thought should have been

Stuck in the nights, when I was sad.

Like I have been for so long…

The dreams in fact were real.

The worst of them…

And there’s nothing I can do…

Why did you have to take away

The only thing that made my life

So real.

So real…

Why did this have to happen,

What could I have done,

To change.

And have you back…

For all that’s worth,

You changed me for the better.

But you're not here to see me…

Why… why… why…”

He swore the air never felt so thick. You were shaking, pushing your eyes to shut so close together.

And he stared at you, listening to every word, standing so close to feel your breath.

“Now I’m all alone and

I can't try to hide

That I will always love you

No matter how far you’ve gone….

No matter how long you’ve been gone…

Why did you have to go away

When you're the only thing that made my life

So real

So real…

Why did this have to happen,

What could I have done,

To change

How things turned out.

How I could still have you

In my arms…

Then maybe the dreams at night.

Would make it through the day.

And I’ll have you back…

And I’ll have you here…

You continued with the piano chords, playing so majestically that he had to breathe in just to get this all through to his head. The song got to the end.

By then, you were shaking.

You didn’t move, and neither did he. Still with the earphones’ wire closing your distance, Jason remembered the words, every part of it. And how your voice was so beautiful, yet so sad to listen to when you were singing with all your heart.

You stuck your attention at the grass beneath your feet, and Jason kept his stare at you.

“When did you write this?”

You still kept your head down, and you started to pull the wires to wrap it around your phone. Jason didn’t move. He still stood so close to you.

“Y/N…”

“Two years ago…” you whispered.

Two years ago. That would have been a year after…

Jason breathed in through his nose. Deep, shaky breaths, then exhaled through his mouth. You swallowed.

“Did you write it for…”

You were rocking your leg just to ease your muscles.

“Y/N, was that about me?”

You looked up around you, at the grass behind him, at the trees, the lamppost, the skies. You bit your lips. You didn’t answer.

But when you finally caught his eye, you seemed to get closer. Nearer. Your breaths were hotter and he desperately wanted to close that distance.

Of course it was for him. Who else could it have possibly been for?

His heart sank, much like it was melting into a pot. He hurt you. He hurt you that much. And he couldn’t believe it but you managed to turn that hurt into something so amazing that you took every bit of his breath away.

And your fucking voice. It still kills him to this day.

“Uhm,” you gulped. “You can take me home now.”

Jason stood back and let you open the door so you could get in.

-----

You waited for him to stop ruffling his hair and get in the car.

You shouldn’t have done that. The whole point of you writing that song was about how fucking devasted you were after you lost him. He was the last person who should have heard it.

Jason got into the driver’s seat and started the engine.

“For what it’s worth, it’s amazing.”

You looked at him, let yourself smile, then looked out the window.

The car ride was horribly silent. And Jason would have put on some music if he had any in his new phone. But you were comfortable. It wasn’t awkward.

But it was still horribly, horribly silent.

You closed your eyes and let the window stick to the side of your head.

Jason was here, and you couldn’t pull him into your arms the way you wanted to.

You couldn’t kiss him, take him to the back seat and mess around like you always used to.

You couldn’t do so much as look at him long enough that you could perfectly take in every single detail on his face.

He was here, but the things you wanted to do, you couldn’t. And it felt too much like only getting to watch him from afar, bask in his presence without actually getting to hold him the way you’ve always wanted to for years when you never otherwise could have.

You asked for these few days with him hoping to actually have him, make the most of it.

But you also understood. How that was only going to make matters so much worse.

You looked at him through the reflection on your window.

You were never going to find anyone so ridiculously handsome and still capture your heart the way he did. You were still, in ways you’d cringe if you had to describe, hopelessly in love with him. In every possible way. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with this man and make babies and grow old together. You wanted it so bad, since even the first few months you dated. You just couldn’t find that with anyone else. Not even if you tried. Jason had been the only person you could ever imagine a future with. A future you desperately wanted.

And you didn’t want that to change. That part of you that refused to move on, it insisted that you continue to love him, never to let anyone else have a shot with you even when you most probably had to. A year, two years, three years passed. Still, you loved him just as much as when he was alive.

He will, and always will be, yours to the end of your days.

At least, until he told you not to.

It tore your heart apart when he died.

But even when he was here. Alive. You still couldn’t have him.

In just two days, you were going to let him go. For good. And you didn’t know what hurt more. When he left and you couldn’t have him anymore for what you thought was the rest of your life, or now that he was here, and yet you were going to have to live without him and go on your days pretending he never existed.

Yeah. It was going to be the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do.

But… if it was what he wanted. If he just couldn’t stand being with you for another moment for reasons he decided for himself, for what was supposed to be your life, you couldn’t really do much to help with that.

So as all things you had to accept in this shitty story of yours that somehow had a continuation you thought wasn’t supposed to be, you let it happen.

You had two more days with him. You have to make it count.

Jason pulled up in your parking space and got out of the car with you. You turned to him, and he smiled at you as you walked down the sidewalk.

“I had fun.”

He nodded. “Me, too.”

“Same time tomorrow?”

“Sure,” he said. “You wanna go somewhere?”

“What if I let you choose? Would I like where we’d head to?”

Jason stopped just as you reached the steps. You took one step up just to level with his height.

“I do have a place in mind.”

“Where?”

Jason grinned. It drove you crazy. You watched every bit of his face.

“You’ll find out tomorrow.”

“Todd,” you breathed. “Tell me.”

“You trust me?”

You never smiled so brightly. “Fine…”

“It’s a far drive. So, I’ll pick you up at 9 am.”

“I can't wait.”

Jason looked down. “Might as well make the most of it.”

You let yourself look into his eyes. Get lost in the blue like you always did. Somehow, he didn’t look away. Instead, he stared back at you with the same exact smile on his face.

“Good night, Jay.”

“Good night.”

You took steps back, then turned around to unlock the door.

You really, really didn’t want this to end. Jason didn’t move away and he continued to watch you before you managed to open the door.

“And Y/N…”

You peered out from inside.

“Thank you…” he said.

You gave him a wide-open smile, then ultimately closed the door.

-----

“Good thing we stopped for gasoline.”

Your chair was pushed almost all the way to the back of the car. You put your feet up so your body was completely flat. “Where are you taking me?”

“You’re just gonna have to wait and see.”

The wide, open country road. Where the ends seemed infinite and the horizon looked endless. The grass was brighter, thicker, and everything the city didn’t have from the park you went to yesterday. There was almost nothing around them except for a few diners and houses far off into the land. Probably farms.

It was all so calming, soft and serene. He needed this just as much. Time away from his line of work. Even when he was barely getting started he couldn’t help admit that it was all so exhausting.

He momentarily turned to you, falling asleep with your hand covering your eyes.

“Ey,” he nudged your knee. “Don’t go falling asleep on me.”

You blinked your eyes, then you shot the seat back up from the recline. “I wasn’t asleep.”

“Yeah you were.”

“I didn’t get to sleep much last night.”

“Why not?”

“Well.” He heard you choke. “I drank coffee.”

“Again with the coffee.”

“Whatever. Let’s put on some music. From the looks of it, we have a long way to go.”

“We do.”

You eyed him as you took out your phone and plugged it onto the car’s speaker. “In the mood for some Beatles?”

“Y/N…”

“What?”

Jason sighed, looking back out onto the road. You continued to play the music despite him obviously not wanting your choice.

“Let me take you down

'Cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields

Nothing is real

And nothing to get hung about

Strawberry Fields forever.”

“Y/N, can you pick another song?”

“Why? We used to play these all the time.”

“Exactly. Turn it off.”

You scoffed at him when he deliberately turned the volume way down. Then your spoiled ass turned it all the way back up.

Jason looked away, glaring at the window.

He knew exactly what you were trying to do. Spark back all those memories, let him realize just how much he missed all those times with you in the hopes of him changing his mind about all this. You wanted him to relive those memories and make him miss you even more after all this was over. Of course. he was going to miss you. there isn’t a doubt behind that.

But he knew how manipulative you can be. You did that a lot. Get things to go your way when you didn’t want it to. And what was he supposed to do now? Demand that you turn off the music? Make you all sad when he was taking you somewhere supposed to make you happy?

Fight?

He snorted at the idea. No. Not again. You weren’t going to fucking fight like a couple. You were just friends. And it was supposed to stay that way.

The song had changed.

“Well, she looked at me

And I, I could see

That before too long

I'd fall in love with her

She wouldn't dance with another

Ooh, when I saw her standing there!”

You were singing, moving your body to the beat. He rolled his eyes when you hit his shoulder. “Jay, I’m not gonna sing the whole thing by myself.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Why are you so stubborn?”

“I’m not playing this game.”

“Fucking hell, just enjoy the moment will you? I get it. You don’t want to be attached.”

Exactly as he thought. You knew exactly what you were doing.

“Oh, we danced through the night

And we held each other tight

And before too long

I fell in love with her”

You rocked your body left and right.

He caught you in a glance. You were beautiful. You closed your eyes, singing, and you just sounded so good, it made his chest feel all warm.

You just kept going, occasionally tapping his shoulder to catch his attention. “I’m fucking driving.”

“You can sing and drive.”

He shook his head. “I’m not gonna do that.”

“Yesterday

All my troubles seemed so far away

Now it looks as though they're here to stay

Oh, I believe in yesterday…”

Oh. Your voice. It suited this song like a fucking puzzle. He knew he really shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help but watch you as you closed your eyes and started to sing.

“Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be.

There's a shadow hanging over me.

Oh, yesterday came suddenly.”

Despite all the voices within him telling him to stop, he really couldn’t. He was smiling at you and dangerously kept his attention away from the road.

Shit. He looked back out and curved from the road just as he was about to hit a dog. Jason cursed.

“Why she had to go?

I don't know, she wouldn't say.

I said something wrong.

Now I long for yesterday.”

Even with his eyes on the road, he still made sure to watch you, listen.

Fuck, you just make him bend to your every whim. He hated it.

And somehow,

He wanted to.

Making you happy just feels like the best thing he could possibly do.

And just a few days ago, he murdered a whole port of Black Mask’s men, left all the bodies floating in the water without so much as looking back. That, compared to where he was now, driving in the wide open road with you singing your fucking heart out so beautifully, he was sure to choke himself someday.

He only had two days with you. He didn’t want to make this as painful as it possibly could. The last thing he’d want to do is make everything so much worse than it already was, possibly break your heart all over again as if it wasn’t already so broken beforehand. He wanted this over with, done with, then he can finally let you go and you’ll never have to put up with his cold-blooded ass ever again.

“Yesterday love was such an easy game to play.

Now I need a place to hide away.

Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Why she had to go?

I don't know, she wouldn't say.

I said something wrong.

Now I long for yesterday.”

His grin was just becoming idiotic as this point.

Okay. He had two days.

He owed you that.

He owed you just a bit more happiness with him.

He owed you the closure you didn’t have. And mostly owed you your whole life. He practically ruined it.

And to him. Despite him hating every bit of his guts, what was so wrong in letting himself indulge in just a bit more happiness?

He needed this, too. With you.

No matter how much he could try to suppress it, or hide it from himself. You were still the light of his life. You still made him happier more than anything else there was. You were still the reason he wakes up every day, even when he didn’t even get to see you. You will always be the reason for his genuine smiles.

So what was wrong with making the most of the next two days?

He’ll enjoy this time. For you. for him.

It’s the least he can do.

So he breathed in, and started singing along with you.

“Yesterday love was such an easy game to play.

Now I need a place to hide away.

Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm.”

You smiled so much, your cheekbones lighting up. Your eyes had that sparkle and the tingles in him grew so much worse.

“Happy?”

“Ecstatic.”

You changed the song, and with your voices blending incredibly well with each other, Jason pulled down the car door.

Everyone should hear how good you are.

Everyone should see how beautiful you are.

About two hours passed. And you stopped by a diner on the way to get some food. You laughed while you ate. Jason couldn’t help his stares on you while you ate all the fries on your plate. You both watched the bad-quality TV up on the wall about some football game you didn’t really care much about.

His smiles never actually died down. Not for a minute.

Then you were back on the road for another thirty minutes.

You were facing out the window, and he took glances on the reflection all the way until he reached the destination. You were in the middle of nowhere. He parked the car by the side of the road, and you both got out.

“Where are we, Todd?”

“Just wait. Come on.”

There was a walkway covered in seeping grass. You wouldn’t have been able to notice if he didn’t already know what was beyond the trees. You went with him, stood close to his body.

It wasn’t too far a walk.

But what seemed to have just been a lone building covered in leaves and vines now came to a much clearer view. And he made sure to catch the look on your face when you finally made out what you thought to have been just trees were actually the steel bars of a Ferris Wheel, a tall loop of a broken roller coaster, and swings suspended from a tall poll.

“Todd, you did not.”

You got to the entrance, which had a clown’s face for the archway and its open mouth serving as a gate.

DAME BELL’S WORLD STATE CARNIVAL

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I DON’T HATE YOU - MASTERLIST

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#jason todd #jason todd x reader #red hood #red hood x reader #jason todd fluff #jason todd angst #batarella #batarella fluff #batarella angst #i don't hate you series #i don't hate you #jason todd x reader series #jason todd reader insert #batarella series

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