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pluckyredhead · 3 months

Note

Did I just read your Super Sons primer from 2020 at 3 am on a Monday morning because I'm having a real normal one? Maybe?! I'm wondering how you feel about how they and their relationship has developed since then. IMO it's... Pretty bleak. 😩

I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT IT. (Also here's the primer for anyone who missed it.)

So I will say that 95% of everything Jon has been in since he got aged up has been hot garbage, but I do think the exception is when Damian is around. But let's take it from the top!

First of all, I don't necessarily think they should de-age him again. Generally speaking I think it's better storytelling to focus on fixing things moving forward, rather than undoing things moving back. Sure, if DC came up with some big cosmic event that reset Jon to 11, I certainly wouldn't complain, but I'd rather see them, uh...do literally anything with Teen Jon that doesn't suck.

But yeah, aging Jon up to begin with still makes me livid because:

I want my baby to have had a childhood.

It's fully character assassination for Lois and Clark. They would NEVER let their 11-year-old go to outer space with a supervillain. Lois would NEVER just abandon him out there, and Clark would NEVER respond with "Well, I'm sure he's fine, wanna have marathon sex?" I honestly have no idea what Bendis or his editor were thinking.

They have not done a single interesting with him since!!!

Putting this behind a cut because it got LONG. Also spoilers for Beast World in there.

I've said this before, but I have to assume that Bendis wanted to age Jon up because he wanted to write a Legion book. But he also in his wisdom decided to bring Kon back into continuity at exactly the same time, which means we have two nearly identical Superboys that DC didn't and still doesn't know what to do with. Kon clearly couldn't have joined the LOSH because he already had a team, but you know what Super teen was available, and not 11, and who has a history with the Legion that goes back almost as long as Clark's? KARA. But I will save that rant for another day.

And honestly, Kara dodged a bullet, because that Legion book was unreadable. Bendis at his most Bendis-y wall of text interrupt-y conversations and no plot. If I give Tom Taylor any credit it's that the second he got his hands on Jon, he torpedoed Jon/Imra as a ship. GOOD.

And when the LOSH book finally went out with a whimper (that JLA/LOSH miniseries! what was that!!!), we entered the Taylor Era. Taylor's quirks are less stylistic and more narrative than Bendis's. You can spot Bendisian dialogue at twenty paces, but a Taylor comic tips its hand when it sets up a really interesting premise or a really high stakes threat and then immediately undercuts it with a little wet fart noise of nothing. To wit:

Jon's starting college! This will be an interesting challenge for him to readjust to normal life after six years in a torture-volcano and an indeterminate amount of time in the future, and also considering he never graduated from sixth grade. I wonder what will - oh no he dropped out after three pages. (He has done NOTHING in his civilian identity since, btw. I guess he's too busy hovering just behind Dick at all times to work on his GED or whatever.)

Jon is going to confront Ultraman! Finally the comics will have to engage with all the trauma he must have - oh no Ultraman's dead.

Jon is trapped in the Injustice Universe! This is a really dangerous universe that might make him question everything he knows about - oh he just lectured everyone and flounced off home.

Beast World is a perfect example. Taylor seems to think that having a hero effortlessly solve a problem makes them look badass, but it's actually the effort that makes them look badass. So like, we spent five months keeping the Kryptonians and other A-class heroes away from the spores because the spores are attracted to power and if a Super got spore'd everyone would be in big trouble...but then in the last issue, they just have Jon fly up to everyone with a spore in them, wait for the spore to jump at him, and catch it? That doesn't make the Titans look smart or Jon look tough. It makes all of them look like idiots because it it was that easy, why didn't they do that in the first place?

On top of that, Taylor doesn't ever really earn relationships. Jon and Jay is the obvious one. Jay has no personality. There's no chemistry between the two characters. Jon might as well be dating a cardboard cutout labeled "Proof of Queerness." (Or "Bernard." Ahem.) But we're supposed to be like, yes, give Tom Taylor a GLAAD award for using queer characters as props, when he's going to turn around and kiss Chuck Dixon's ass on social for being homophobic about Jon? UGH.

Honestly worse for me though is the Jon and Dick relationship. Because Taylor is writing both characters, we're supposed to believe that there's this close mentor-mentee bond there? I don't think they EVER interacted before the Taylor era. (And don't even look at me with that retconned-in scene of Dick finding lost baby Jon. You're telling me that Superman, with his X-ray and telescopic vision, needs to call Bruce and Dick for help finding his own son? Fuck off.)

Anyway it all combines to make basically every Jon appearance for the past three years profoundly unsatisfying. Even the stuff that isn't by Taylor never goes anywhere. Remember when he was jealous of the Super Twins for two panels? And then everyone forgot about it forever? SIGH.

HOWEVER.

However.

If there is one thing that Bendis and Taylor and every other writer got right, it's that Jon is crazy bonkers in love with Damian always and forever. Jon has been written like shit since 2019, but he has also not wavered in his devotion for even one single solitary second.

THE EVIDENCE:

This is the first thing Jon does when he gets back to Earth:

He then tells Damian he's contemplating not joining the Legion because he'll have to leave Damian behind. Damian tells him to go and then come get him if it's cool.

Turns out the Legion is cool. Jon comes and gets Damian. The Legion isn't happy about it and Jon threatens to leave if Damian can't stay, while gazing adoringly at Damian's unconscious body cradled in his arms:

Eventually LOSH is canceled and Jon comes home and starts following Damian around by listening for his heartbeat. LIKE PALS DO!

Then Damian gives him a pep talk!

Then there's this ABSOLUTE CUDDLE:

The way Damian nuzzles into Jon's shoulder! Can you even stand it!

And then there's this:

The climax of Son of Kal-El, btw, is one of the several times Jon is saved by Damian and confides in Damian and turns to Damian for comfort or advice...and Jay is just sort of standing there off to the side. I am fully aware I have ship goggles on but the degree of emotional investment Jon has in these relationships is not the same.

Then they had a special issue teamup:

Then we got Dark Crisis, and I actually love this interaction between them, because they are very different people with very different upbringings and this feels extremely in character to me for how they would both handle the loss of their fathers:

But even when they disagree, they still instantly support each other. Jon comes back with information? Damian makes a plan:

Also, we got the 2022 Pride issue where Jon, Jay, and Damian go to Pride together. I know that story is...contentious...but leave me here with Damian sulking while Jon and Jay kiss, okay?

Then we get Adventures of Superman, which is objectively awful, but Jon does spend his whole time in the Injustice universe thinking about Damian like the seagulls in Finding Nemo saying "Mine? Mine? Mine?"

This whole arc is truly hilarious. Jon finds out that Damian accidentally killed Dick and his response is to a) go find Batman and yell at him for not supporting Damian enough for accidentally killing Dick, and then b) go find Damian to be like "Wow, that must have been really hard for you (accidentally killing Dick)." There's being ride or die for your BFF, and then there's whatever the fuck Jon has going on.

(Meanwhile there's an incredibly uncomfortable scene with him and Injustice Jay where Jay "tests" him by trying to get Jon to cheat on regular Jay. So. That happens.)

And then just this past month we got Nightwing #110, where we learn that Jon is still listening to Damian's heart:

He completely freaks out watching Damian in danger, and immediately intervenes when it looks like Damian is about to kill someone because he knows what matters the most to Damian. Also, this happens:

YOU WIN THIS ONE, TAYLOR.

AND THEN THEY BICKER I LOVE IT WHEN THEY BICKER:

AND THEN DAMIAN LETS HIMSELF BE VULNERABLE BY ASKING JON IF HE HURT ANYONE WHILE HE WAS A KITTY, AND JON GIVES YET ANOTHER SPEECH ABOUT HOW DAMIAN HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG EVER, IN HIS LIFE, AND DAMIAN STAGGERS OFF, LEANING ON JON.

This isn't even getting into the Trinity backup stories in Wonder Woman, which, like...Tom King is not valid but Jon and Damian are such an old married couple in them? It's truly incredible?

It took me like 45 minutes to parse Jon's line here as the general 'you" and not specifically Jon saying Damian wasn't straight. But like..."That's for straight people, which has nothing to do with us" is a hell of a thing to say, Jonathan.

I ALSO haven't even talked about DCeased because it's a different universe, but! Jon sitting with Damian while he dies??? MY HEART.

IN CONCLUSION:

Yes, they should never have aged up Jon.

Yes, most of his appearances since have been terrible and bland.

But OH BOY, do he and Damian remain in love.

#jon kent #superboy #damian wayne #robin #meta

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jj0latunji · 9 months

Text

Dear Diary - KSI Imagine

Here's another imagine from Wattpad for y'all to read and hopefully like , send in any requests you have and I'll get to writing.

Here's JJ looking great in a suit oooooh.

January 19th 2020

9:45 p.m

London, England.

Dear Diary,

It finally happened, we finally broke up . I'm heartbroken don't get me wrong but I knew it was coming when he started getting distant.

I just walked into his apartment, ended things , wished him well and left. Funny thing is he didn't even realise it was my birthday today, imagine my boyfriend of 5 years didn't remember my birthday because he was too busy working on a YouTube video.

I do feel sad but not as sad as I should be considering I've ended this long relationship. I think it's just not set in fully yet , maybe it will when I wake up alone in bed tomorrow, when I have no one to share my breakfast with , no one to cuddle with when the apartment gets too cold . I just hope that when it sets in , it's not too bad .

I just want to forget everything about him and what we had and hopefully move on. I think I can do it but let's see.

I'll write to you again tomorrow and let you know how I'm feeling cause your the only one that I can talk to now about my feelings.

Love you Diary

Y/N signing off

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March 1st 2020

10:43 p.m

London, England

Dear Diary,

I've been such a mess. I knew people said breakups would be hard but I didn't know it would be this hard. All I do is sit around the apartment and cry. Even Talia said I've been crying too much and that's when I realised that I've been crying all the time cause Talia usually cries a lot too.

She asked me if she could move in with me for a while since there was some work to be done for her apartment but I know it's probably because she wants to make sure I don't do something drastic.

I hate being this emotional and feeling like I'm a burden to others. Imagine being the livewire of the group, the one always having fun and making jokes and now you can't seem to even crack a smile. That's how I feel. Everything reminds me of him. I just want to be better and I'm trying and I hope with Talia here to talk and get advice from I'll be better.

I promise to be better

See you tomorrow, Talia will be here so hopefully it's a much more happy day.

Love you Diary,

Y/N signing off

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April 13th 2020

4:31 a.m

Ibiza, Spain

Dear Diary,

I finally feel better, feel more like myself. Who knew all it would take was Talia's cooking and care and a trip away with my girls.

Today is the last day for us at the resort and we've had an amazing day. Gee and Freya got me some stuff from when they went shopping and this one top OMG it's so pretty.

I've been lighter on the drinks today after last night's debacle. But hey atleast we got some drinks on the house today because the guy I made out with turned out to be a bartender.

I felt guilty about the kiss but the girls said I was single and had nothing to worry about , but there's still that small voice in me that says different. Anyways I just maintained some distance with him and just awkwardly smiled when he tried hitting on me again. I'm really out of touch with the flirting game :(

Anyways we're going back home tomorrow morning and I'm glad Talia talked me into coming on this trip , I needed this.

See you tomorrow Diary,

Y/N signing off

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April 21st 2020

12:48 a.m

London , England

Dear Diary,

You won't believe this but I GOT THE PARIS JOB. OMG I'M SO HAPPY I CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF.

This has been such a dream and I'm glad they asked again after I rejected them last time. I probably should have gone the previous time itself seeing how mine and JJ's relationship turned out. I put my dreams on hold for him but he couldn't.... Anyways forget about him.

I leave for Paris in a month and have to work there for about a year and then I can return here and continue to design. Talia and the girls were overjoyed with the news but then we all started crying thinking about how we would be apart.

The girls want to organise a party before I go so I can properly say goodbye to everyone and I agreed. Nothing bad can happen at a party right.

But I'm so excited.....PARIS BABYYYYYYY.

See you tomorrow Diary,

Y/N signing off

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May 7th 2020

04:23 a.m

London , England

Dear Diary ,

I had so much fun at the farewell party that the girls organised. They invited basically every single friend I had in London and miraculously everyone showed up to bid goodbye.

I caught up with so many people and even enjoyed a free Talia Mar concert in which she performed all my favourite songs of hers , that girl is so talented I hope she gets her big break soon. Simon and Tobi stood with me the entire night asking me if I needed anything , both of them are like the brothers I never had , hell the Sidemen are the family I never had and I'm so glad these guys are part of my life. I owed a lot to them and I'm glad we stayed friends even after my breakup with JJ...

Talking of JJ, I saw him tonight for the first time since the breakup. He seemed to be taking it well , and since this is my little secret vault I can tell you that he looked good too. But I didn't have that urge to run into his arms and cling onto him forever, I think I'm finally over him and seeing him tonight assured me that there was almost no feelings at all towards him. It felt freeing almost.

After the party , me and Talia came back home and ate leftovers before she went to sleep tired as all hell and so am I so I'm going to get some rest too and start packing from tomorrow.

See you soon Diary,

Y/N signing off

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May 28th 2020

9:36 p m

Paris , France.

Dear Diary,

I finally made it to PARIS and OMG I'm so excited I couldn't even start explaining to you of how I'm feeling.

I bid goodbye to all my friends at the airport and took the flight here and just reached the apartment the company got me a couple of hours ago. Again I'm only telling you this cause you are my secret vault, JJ wasn't at the airport to say goodbye and a part of me was hoping he would turn up like Ross in F.R.I.E.N.D.S and like we would have a fairytale moment but he didn't turn up and I boarded my flight.

I mentally kicked myself for having expectations from JJ again cause I know he'll always let me down. I NEED to get over him and the best thing is maybe to get someone new to love and cherish...... I've been here for a day and let me tell you the options are limitless.

I'm staying with another girl named Sophia, she's German and a few years younger than me. She seems really fun , like a German version of Freya almost. She made me dinner and had my room ready for me when I arrived. She's such an angel.

I need to report for the job tomorrow morning so I'm going to eat dinner and get some rest.

See you tomorrow Diary,

Y/N signing off

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June 15th 2020

12:43 p.m

Paris , France

Dear Diary,

I've had such a fun day. Sophia took me out to one of her favourite bars and decided to get me some action if you know what I mean.

But she went away and got herself someone she liked which left me sitting with the man's friend. He was pretty though so I decided to give him a chance.

I had an amazing time with the friend though, his name's Charles and he said he was a driver or something. I wasn't concentrating on his job resume cause I was too busy lost in his green eyes which seemed he got directly from his native of Monaco.

The both of us talked until we were literally pulled apart by his friends, apparently he has an early day tomorrow and should be asleep. I quickly wrote him my number on a piece of paper and passed it to him though before he was escorted out of the bar.

I'm just waiting for him to message me now but that's unlikely given he's probably already asleep or who knows he might have even lost my number. I hope he messages me though I kinda liked him.

OMG he just messaged me and asked me out this weekend.... Looks like I have plans to make and outfits to choose.

See you tomorrow though Diary,

Y/N signing off

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June 19th 2020

3:54 a.m

Paris , France

Dear Diary,

You will not believe this. Wait let me explain it to you from the start.

Me and Charles went out for dinner at one of Paris' finest restaurants and I was having an amazing time and really having fun until we were interrupted by a bunch of teenage girls asking Charles for a photo and autograph.

Turns out he isn't some random driver, HE'S A FUCKING F1 SUPERSTAR.

He took the pictures and we quickly got out of there as our pictures were all over Twitter and people were trying to find out who I was. I'm sure they'll have figured out by the morning and that scares me... I've just got done dealing with JJ's fans and now I have another huge fandom on my ass.

I loved the date though, Charles was a gentleman and dropped me back at my place and asked me out for another date but somewhere more private and I agreed.

He's also like 4 years younger than me which made me feel old despite only being 26 , but he said that was no problem and he usually did date girls older than him.

It was also JJ's birthday today.... He's 27 and all of my friends had posted about it on their stories and on Twitter. The entire morning I debated on sending him a message but eventually decided against it , not wanting to open wounds again.

I hope he's well though....He looks well.

Anyways see you tomorrow Diary,

Y/N signing off

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July 20th 2020

10:36 p.m

Paris, France

Dear Diary,

Today was Charles last day here before he had to go back to his racing calendar. He promised to stay in touch and promised to get me to come to one of his races.

I am a little scared watching him go, long distance is never a good idea especially so early in a relationship. I didn't even know if we were in a relationship. We went on loads of dates , enjoyed ourselves and everything. His fans think we are dating, our friends think we are dating, but we still hadn't put a label on things and I was kinda glad we hadn't.

I can only hope this works out cause I've really taken a liking to Charles, something I thought I could never do again.

I'm going to drop him off at the airport tomorrow and then go to work and hopefully get that promotion I was promised. I was also free for a few days next week so I was also planning to go back home with Sophia and meet my friends again.

We'll see what happens though, for now I need to go join Sophia and help her with some work.

See you tomorrow Diary,

Y/N signing off .

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August 14th 2020

6:23 a.m

London, England

Dear Diary,

The comeback party was amazing. I introduced Sophia to all the Sidemen and the Sidegirls. She's taken a special interest in Tobi and I'm hoping they get together cause they would be an amazing couple.

I caught up with everyone including JJ. He had a new girlfriend, her name iwas Olivia. Nice girl from what I could see and everyone seemed to like her. Good for him I guess.

All the boys were also very interested in my love life seeing I was dating THE Charles Leclerc. Yeah dating , Charles asked me out a few days ago and made things official and I was happy.

Me and the group talked all night long, dancing along to some tunes as we drank the night away. I missed this and I'm glad I could have a taste of old times again.

Sober Tobi drove Talia, Sophia and me back to my old apartment and I even caught Tobi slyly passing his number to Sophia.

As soon as we got in Talia started asking me if I was okay with JJ's new relationship , cause apparently I was staring.... I didn't feel like I was staring.

Okay I was a little but not at them but at JJ , he hadn't taken down the picture of us together from the common room and I was a little confused by it. Was he holding on to the memories or does he consider it so unimportant that he just let it be.

Maybe I was thinking too much into it , it's just a damn picture.

I've moved on and so as he , I don't want to start all that again.

Anyways I'm tired as hell but I promised to write something today.

See you soon Diary,

Y/N signing off.

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September 6th 2020

11:34 p.m

Monza, Italy.

Dear Diary,

I finally came out to Italy to see one of Charles' races . Apparently it's the home race for his team Ferrari and OMG everywhere I saw only red which was the team colors.

The race didn't go well for Charles, he crashed out and didn't even finish the race and was extremely pissed off , but his best friend Pierre winning did cheer him up a little.

Today was the first time I saw how much people actually adored Charles, most of them had his mask on and I saw flags celebrating him everywhere and he couldn't walk a couple of steps before being stopped for pictures and autographs.

We had to get a hotel away from the centre of town cause we didn't want to be stampeded as soon as we left our rooms. The view from the balcony is amazing though and I took loads of pictures which again sent social media in a frenzy as all the Charles fangirls either wanted to be me or get rid of me.

Me and Charles went out for dinner and finally got to talk about how distance was affecting our relationship. It was extremely hard to find time with both our busy schedules, but we promised to try as hard as we could to manage things.

Vik was also at the race today along with Ellie who caught me up on all the gossip in the friend group. Apparently Sophia had really interested Tobi and JJ was newly single again, something about not finding love or something. Sucks to be him I guess.

Anyways I'm heading back to Paris tomorrow and Charles is going to Singapore. Back to the normal routine I guess.

See you back in Paris Diary,

Y/N signing off.

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September 7th 2020

4:51 a.m

Paris , France

Dear Diary,

I went to see JJ perform today, yeah shock but I was basically hoodwinked into it by Sophia and Talia who told me it was someone else performing.

I was glad I went cause I saw the girls and boys again and truth be told even enjoyed the performance.....he always loved performing live and it showed.

He even came over after the performance and personally thanked me for coming and I was quite taken aback. It was something I never expected him to do , he's too stubborn to do that but he did and I was kinda happy about it.

We all then went out for dinner and I was sat at the end just checking my phone to see if Charles responded to my texts. Things were really dry between us with all the time zone differences and I knew the road down which this relationship was heading, I am just trying to delay the inevitable.

Everyone kept asking me about Charles and I just kept saying everything was good when it is not.

All of us are going to Disneyland tomorrow for a day and I can't wait for it. I've always loved Disneyland and it was one of mine and JJ's favourite vacation spots.

So I'm going to get some sleep, see you later diary,

Y/N signing off

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December 16th 2020

11:34 p.m

Paris, France

Dear Diary,

Well I'm single again..... Yeah but this time it's mutual. Things were just not working out and we decided it was better to stay friends. Charles and I were still young and had our entire lives in front of us and didn't want to hold on to something that was clearly not build for the long term. I enjoyed this relationship but alas all things come to an end.

Everyone keeps asking me if I'm okay and I say I am cause I truly am. I'm nowhere near as sad as I was last time. Last time was hell , last time was like losing the best thing in my life.

Enough of the sob story, I'm going back to London for Christmas and New Year, I was invited by JJ.... Yeah JJ. We've been talking and texting like a couple of friends since his Paris show and it's been nice.

I'm almost complete with my work for this year so I might even go to London a little earlier depending on whether my boss let's me go, but she's a sweetheart so she probably will.

The next time I write to you will probably be in London.

So see you then Diary,

Y/N signing off

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January 1st 2021

4:34 a.m

London, England

Dear Diary,

You will not believe this..... I kissed JJ. Well more like we kissed each other but we kissed as the clock struck 12 which means we didn't break the tradition.

It was nice.... I don't know how to explain it but it was nice. We've been talking a lot more and Talia thinks we're on our way to getting back together but I think it's more that we're just good friends now..

But good friends don't kiss each other on the balcony under the starry night do they... Fuck I'm going to be thinking about this a whole lot.

Do I want these doubts in my mind or do I just go on with my life as usual cause it doesn't matter.

Moving on.... I can literally hear Sophia and Tobi making out in the room next to me , very horny people I must add .

Anyways I must go sleep now. I'll see you soon Diary.

Y/N signing off.

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May 28th 2021

9:45 p.m

Paris , France

Dear Diary,

I'm done with all my packing and getting ready to go back to London. The office held a little sending away party for me and Sophia. Yeah I somehow convinced my boss to send Sophia with me to London too and she politely accepted.

I need to leave for my flight in a couple of minutes but I decided to write to you before leaving.

I laugh looking back at my year here. So much has happened. I had so much fun at my dream job , had a fling with a famous F1 driver , made a new friend for life and made up with my ex. So much good things have happened.

So thank you for all this Paris.

Tu as été très bon avec moi

Anyways see you in London Diary,

Y/N signing off.

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June 19th 2021

11:57 p m

London, England

Dear Diary,

It's JJ's birthday again and we all celebrated it together out at dinner and afterwards at his place. We all had a fun time, he's 28 now and that's CRAZY. Cause that's the age that we wanted to get married at , you know slow things down and start a family age.

He pulled me away from everyone for a chat too and asked me out for a date . I said I would think about it. I want to go , trust me I WANT TO GO but I don't know if going down that road again is for the best. All the girls think it's for the best and so do all the boys but I still have my doubts.

You know what I'll give it a try. Nothing can go wrong after a date can it.

I'll message him and tell him yes , we'll go on a date. If it's good okay and if it's not then that's okay too.

I'm hoping it goes well though eventhough to others it seems like I don't want it to go well.

I hope JJ suprises me and things work out.

See you soon Diary,

Y/N signing off.

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September 7th 2023

10:43 p.m

London, England

Dear Diary,

We finally got married. I'm finally Y/N Olatunji.

Everything went perfectly. Like not 1 problem came up , it seemed like a fairytale.

I cried a lot during the day. Cried while putting on the dress, cried while walking down the aisle with Simon , cried while JJ read out his vows. It was amazing all throughout the ceremony.

These past 3 and a half years have been such a rollercoaster. Us breaking up , me moving to Paris, both of us getting in new relationships, then getting back together, all the trips away , all the new memories made.

It's been amazing and there's no one in the world that I would want by my side than my husband JJ..... Damn my husband like he's MY HUSBAND. I've been dreaming about this for almost 7-8 years now but it still feels surreal.

Like I'm sat here in my room and looking at him and I can't believe he's mine to hold forever. I love him so much and I'm so thankful for going out on that date in 2021.

I'm thankful for everything.

I'm going now and looking at the look in JJ's eyes , I can feel I'm in for the night of my life.

See you tomorrow Diary,

Y/N Olatunji signing off.

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December 25th 2028

10:45 p.m

London, England

Dear Diary,

We've just had the best Christmas ever. Me , JJ and Skye spend the whole day together, just the 3 of us celebrating together.

JJ wanted to make this Christmas special since we felt that this would be the first Christmas Skye would properly remember, she was just 4 but God she was smart.

We started the day by opening presets and just like always JJ had gone all out. He had brought all kinds of toys for Skye and some jewellery for me.

I brought him a matching bracelet that we could wear together all the time and he loved it.

We all then prepared the Christmas meal , well I did and JJ and Skye helped as much as they could. We ate then all cuddled together on the sofa and watched all our favorite Christmas films.

It was perfect... Just like my life was perfect and I couldn't be more thankful for JJ and Skye for making my life perfect. They were the perfect husband and daughter any one could ever ask for and I am blessed to have them in my life.

We also took loads of pictures to go into the memories album and loved every minute of the day.

Skye is now asleep, she was tired from playing around all day with her dad. I said JJ would be back in a minute after writing this entry.

He thinks it's cute that I still write in here but little does he know how much you've helped me over the years.

Thank you Diary and I hope I see you again soon,

Y/N Olatunji signing off

A/N

Hope you enjoyed this .

Idk how it came out but the idea seemed good in my head.

A new smut coming soon.

Send in requests if you have any

Love you all

Elora signing off ✌🏻

#ksi #sidemen #ksi x reader #ksi imagine #w2s #f1 x reader #charles leclerc #soulmates #sidemen x reader #miniminter #zerkaa #vikkstar123 #tobjizzle #behzinga

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thisbuildinghasfeelings · 4 months

Note

hi anne, reporting for nice ask week!

first off, ruby, she is PRECIOUS, how old is she/how long have you had her?

two: favorite headcanon for your favorite character? (lone star or not)

three: you've probably answered this before but how did you get into cross-stitching? i think what you do is so cool and fascinating. i always love seeing your work on my timeline. also have you done cross-stitches for other fandoms before lone star?

Thank you, Rachel!

Ruby is a handful but she is very cute and I love her very much. Here's a picture I took of her last night. I put treats in her pink bone so she won't bug me while I'm eating dinner...this was after she had finished those treats and brought her bone over to me begging for more 😂

Ruby is about a year and 8 months. I've had her since July 2022. This is what she looked like right after I brought her home:

She was so tiny I was afraid I was going to accidentally squish her somehow!

2. Even though I spend basically 24/7 thinking about my favorite characters, I feel like whenever anyone asks me about headcanons I forget every one I've ever thought of 😂 Kind of a basic one maybe, but I like the headcanon that TK can cook but he just doesn't do it often because Carlos enjoys it more. It feels very true to me because when he told Carlos he made beef wellington, Carlos appeared pleasantly surprised but not shocked.

3. Cross stitch was my pandemic hobby! In early 2020, I was bored and off work for 3 months. I came across some beginner cross stitch kits on Etsy and thought "Why not?"

From the beginning, it's a hobby that I paired with fandom! I was deep in my Schitt's Creek hyperfixation at the time, so I combined the two and made at least a dozen Schitt's Creek cross stitches. These were all patterns I purchased from Etsy. It didn't even cross my mind at the time to create my own patterns. Here are a few of my favorites:

Then I didn't cross stitch for about a year and a half. When I started getting the urge again, I was deep in my Lone Star hyperfixation. I remembered the joy of combining cross stitch with my favorite show, but it was a lot harder with Lone Star. With Schitt's Creek, there were more cross stitch patterns available on Etsy than I could ever complete, but with Lone Star there was nothing. So I realized that I would have to do it myself! I started out just finding patterns that were on theme...like I found a bearded dragon pattern and added the words "Is the lizard back?" Then, as I got more confident, I purchased some pattern making software and started making patterns that were completely my own.

#nice ask week

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marjorierose · 6 months

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Went out this evening after a day of working from home and had a rather thwarted city mess-around.

The pharmacy in my old neighborhood (my new neighborhood does not have one) wouldn't give me a flu shot; they said to call later and make an appointment. I've never needed one there before, but they've gone through some changes, especially since they burned down in the 2020 uprising and rebuilt. I still like them better than CVS, because they don't treat customers like de facto shoplifters and make you ask a staff member to unlock the bath soap, so I'll try to remember to call back.

The library next door to the pharmacy is closed pending a demolition and rebuilding, but I knew that already. I looked over the signs posted in the door, but they just had QR codes and no expected opening date. I walked from there down to my old house. It's been repainted, and there was a light on inside, but it looks similar otherwise, down to the rather dangerously uneven front steps. I had kind of expected the new owners to totally gut it. I wonder if they have re-hung the windows; they needed it.

The coffeeshop around the corner from there was closed--it looked so dark that I was momentarily alarmed, but it was just because it's Monday. The oddball new shop next to that which has a manifesto in the window but no clear idea of what they sell--tarot decks maybe--is closed on Mondays too; so's the small indie bookstore I've never yet made it to. I could have gone into the new Taiwanese tea shop but I couldn't think of something I actually wanted in cold weather.

I did remember that Ducks was supposed to be available at the library that I actually use nowadays, so I caught a bus there and looked on the shelf for it, but I didn't find it, and neither did the librarian. He put a hold on one of the copies from another branch for me.

I just barely succeeded in catching the next bus onward from there. There was a fender-bender at the stop where I got off, so I skirted that and, rather than wait fifteen minutes for a connection, walked on ahead and periodically checked if a bus was coming yet. Eventually one came and took me the rest of the way to where I live now--except that the staircase from the major road down to my block is closed off, which I guess I would have known already, if I hadn't been getting around mostly by car lately. It was quite decisively blocked. I guess they're replacing it. I went the long way around and finally returned home with nothing I hadn't had when I left, except a post-it note with the phone number of the pharmacy, and a large packet I found in my mailbox that told me my insurance policy has been renewed even though I called them weeks ago to tell them I have a new job and they should cancel it.

Still and all, I got in several thousand steps, read a few chapters of my current non-brick book on the bus, saw that the Megan Rapinoe beer garden is now done with construction, got to sneak a peek at the ink drawing the librarian was doing in between patrons, and walked past a garden where someone had chalked I HOPE SOMETHING GOOD HAPPENS TO YOU TODAY on the brick retaining wall. And I didn't spend twenty-four hours straight in my home, which is something I've been somewhat prone to doing lately. When my routines get dull I always start thinking is this just how it is going to be from here on out, but if I go observe anything it's obvious that nothing stays the same for all that long.

#marjorie prose

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blogger-yura · 2 years

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Entry #46 Aug 1st '22

#YurasLife #MovieMonday #Horror #Psychological #HomeInvasion #TheOwners

𝐌𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐲 - The Owners (2020)

Title: The Owners - Screentime: 92min - Director: Julius Berg

Rotten Tomatoes

An elderly couple turn the tables on a group of young thieves who broke into their house while they were away.

Film Affinity

Rural England, early nineties: childhood friends Nathan and Terry are induced by the local sociopath to steal from the Huggins, an elderly doctor and his wife. Nathan's girlfriend, Mary, is totally against the plan, but a few hours later she finds herself in the stately home, beside the safe in the basement and a bunch of other individuals, each more suspicious than the next.

Hello hello my pretty bumblebees! Happy beginning of the week! What did you guys do over the weekend? Did you rest or did you maybe go out and have fun? It is summer after all, I certainly hope you guys are enjoying the weather wisely and making the most out of your free time –If you have any!–. Me? I've used the weekend to catch up with some people, some work, and also the blog! While I haven't managed to make a lot of advances yet, I do already have some things lined up for the week and so!

Do you ever just get a sudden rush of motivation and get so much done it feels like nothing can stop you? Yeah! That's how the weekend has been!

I also wanted to catch up with some movies, and so because of that I bring you guys today this really weird film I watched Friday night!

This week I'm sharing with all of you "The Owners". I'm not going to lie to you, it's not of my favorite movies, but I also did not hate it at ALL. If you know me, you know that while I love supernatural and monsters and demons, my favorite thing ever are home invasions and crazy people. There's this thrill about watching just regular humans do such messed up things that make these kind of movies, if I must, way more terrifying than a blood thirsty demon.

It was a very weird film, very engaging at times, touching some unsettling dark topics, hinting to some debatable behaviors, but overall a good movie that kept me entertained and paying attention most of the night. While it was quite predictable and none of the aspects of it were really... 'New' to say, I still found it quite pleasing to watch!

Not breaking the mold and sticking to some classic and basic rules from horror isn't at all bad when you actually put effort and manage to execute well, and I do truly believe they worked the plot twist in a very wise way that made it welcome. The movie appears fairly lightweight and slow for the first few minutes and it then has the twist that will make you double take and start paying more attention. The anxiousness of watching it all unfold, the knot in your stomach as you don't know if they'll be able to make it out, they're all things I look for when I watch a horror movie!

While, again, the film is very predictable and slightly, let's say 'dramatic'–, I appreciate the ending a lot! It is, without a doubt, a very surprising and also unpleasant movie at times. (which considering its a horror, it's not at all bad!)

To close up, and quoting Meagan from one of my favorite blogs, 'Bloody Disgusting':

< ...While "The Owners" doesn’t attempt to break the mold, it instead opts for a peculiar brand of insanity to complement the violence... "The Owners" offers a solid enough entry in home invasion thrillers, one in which there are no heroes.>

And with that, we give it an end to today's movie review! It really is hard to talk about some movies without giving it all away, ain't it? Though once you start watching it you can tie all the ends together very quickly. While this won't be a movie that I remember very clearly in a few more weeks, I can confidently say I'll be thinking about it for some days. Would you give this movie a chance? Are home invasions down your alley? Is there any movie you'd like me to see and hear my opinion on? Let me know! I love getting recommendations from you guys ♡

I'll get going now, make sure to take care, stay hydrated and be careful with the sun! I'll see you guys again real soon! -Yura ♡

Personal score: 🌟🌟🌟☆☆

💗: @clubwnderland [💙] @jinju-oc @moonlightchn @temptationcb @silvernightcb @adorbsana @velvetparadise @urjenniekim @goodagainstevilcb @project-takeover @floristluda @midnightbot @uridealbf-cb @switchxbotz @diabolic-bot @kimheebby @nana-n-nono @weeb-wonwoo @uryeri @chef-chaeryeong @killerchaeyoung @tsunfullsunbot @ceo-kangjoon @shangrixxla @deceptionbot @fate-bot @killeryeonjun @sk-joocy @urcafe-cb @xyjae @angelzbakery @yanderegroup @cupidcity @bloodmoonxbot @celestial-bot @bmgvy @yourbffactory @idolpack-chats @hopelessromantic-juyeon @urkp-boys @pporsxhe @yan-ryu

#yura types 🧡#movie monday

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annesthaeticc · 2 years

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hello! i have come here, to this lovely space, to rant and vent once again (cause getting a consultation and anti depressants are so expensive in this country) so bear with me.

i have been struggling to squeeze my brain and think of content lately. i even became inactive in twitter in light of recent events and i think some of you will probably have a clue.

my father is an abusive man when he drinks alcohol. and just the other night, he did it again. he is verbally abusive. if my uncles hadn't heard the noise and stepped in, he would've hit me. this i know cause he was ready to slap the shit out of me. my mother wasn't home at the time, she was working a night shift.

just the slightest raise of his voice can send me to shock and panic. and during these outbursts, i tend to go on a full blown panic attack. crying, screaming, heaving breaths, fainting spells, stiff jaw. i started to develop attacks back in 2020.

but this abuse has been going on for years.

i started to experience his verbal abuse from him at a young age. i may not have the earliest recollection, maybe i was 4 or 5 at the time, i don't know. and i am always. always the brunt of his anger. i'm really starting to think that i'm not his daughter.

but now, i am 20 fucking years old. and i'm so sick of it.

he was rarely physical, but the threats, the screaming, the shouting. i'll always remember it. it seems that i carry it along as i age, hence i never take negativity well. not only he's an abusive alcoholic, he's a manipulator. a gaslighter, a guilt tripper at its finest. and as a psychology student, i know it all too fucking well.

it's always been the same. and my condition only gets worse through time. i've grown up scared of him for as long as i can remember and for a moment, for a teeny tiny moment, i was grateful enough for this pandemic to at least heal our bonds and get to know him more.

but now, i've given up on that. i changed my mind about him. i've been trying so hard to become accomodating and understanding of him, but he has given me no choice. he disappoints me. i suggested he get therapy for it, and he became angry, saying there's nothing wrong with him, he's not insane.

and what's worse, is that my mom has been tolerating his shit for years. i love her, i love my mom. but i'm so disappointed of her.

she always tells me that the two of us has space in her hearts, she loves us equally. but i think that's bullshit. if you love your abusive alcoholic husband, you would've sent him to therapy a long time ago and challenged him to get better for the sake of your children.

she doesn't love me as much as she tells me. if she did, she would've left him or sent him to therapy. i think her definition of love means providing me a comfortable lifestyle, but that's not what i want. i want to get better. i want to be free of trauma. i want to have peace of mind that i'll be safe from abuse.

but then, they say it's easier said than done.

so i threatened to leave them that very night. she manipulated me, she guilt tripped me. she said she might get a heart attack if i left. and to be fucking honest, i would have left. i wouldn't give a shit about them. my only problem is that, i don't have any money.

i told my cousin my plan, and she said she was all too happy to shelter me for a while. after i graduate, i'll pay her back, i only have 2 years left anyway. i remember crying so hard and telling her i want to leave so bad because i couldn't take it anymore.

like i said, easier said than done.

so here i am, lying in bed. hungry. this is my second day of only eating once. i've been sleeping through the day and i cannot focus on my uni work. i've got a shit ton of genetics worksheets to do, but everytime i start, i couldn't seem to finish. it's too early to drop my subjects or file for a leave of absence. i don't know what to do.

i am seriously considering of selling my doctor strange figurine just so i could have a bit of cash and buy myself a ticket so i could leave this house by the end of the month. my friends, ever supportive and caring, offered to let me stay, but i'm too shy to impose. i know they've got a lot on their plates and i don't wanna add up to that.

luckily enough, i have my sister. i love her to the moon and back. she is my best friend and i don't know where would i be know if i didn't have her. she makes me laugh and she makes me smile even at the shittiest times. she knows my plans to leave and she thinks it'll be healthy for me.

now, i just wanna let you know, i'm not seeking pity or what. this is not a pity party. rather, i'm telling you all my story, to get to know me more. and to get to know the reason i wrote Cardigan. this is to let you all know, to remind you all, that the world is full of evil, ones you do and don't know, and it literally costs 0 dollars to be kind enough.

i just want to let you all know, that no child, no being, should experience abuse, any kind of abuse. may it be inflicted or tolerated.

if you made it this far, thank you so much. i appreciate it very much. i might be talking in an empty auditorium, but what matters most is that, i've somehow let go a piece of me that's been trying to be free. thank you so much for being here. remember that you, yes you, my dear internet friend, you occupy a space in my heart and you are loved by me. and if you ever need an ear, i'm always here, like you are to me.

thank you.

(also, if you could help, in any little way, my paypal link is here. a dollar or two is enough. if i save up, i'll move away as quickly as i can, and before you know it, you've somehow helped me in my healing. thank you so much ♡)

#anne says hi #anne shares stuff #anne rambles

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accountingacademic · 6 months

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Plans? Absolutely Not.

Daily Reflection Wednesday, 29 November 2023

Things I'm Grateful For:

My self-isolational tendencies. It does a pretty good job of keeping me from getting sick. Case in point: my parents had Covid in May 2020, and my mother has it a second time now, but I haven't gotten it at all.

Highlights:

My planner came in today! It also started this week, so instead of leaving it empty for the first month, I moved everything over. I'll find another use for the remaining pages in the journal, I'm sure. At the very least, it's plenty of room to work on figuring out New Year's Resolutions for myself.

Challenges:

My mother has Covid again. For fuck's sake. Just one more reason why I want to move out, so I don't have to deal with living with anyone who's sick.

Emotions:

To a certain degree, god forbid I ever try to get anything done. I'm exhausted, and tired of things going wrong at every possible opportunity. Every time something small goes my way, it feels like something big happens to fuck things up.

Tiny silver lining: If I do end up with Covid, I might be able to just say fuck it and stay home the rest of the semester. I think that's going to be as good a reason as any to skip presentations. I've already done presentations for that outcome for Communications, and there isn't an outcome for the presentation part of the group project in Marketing, so I can theoretically shove that off on my groupmates--again, Covid is as good of an excuse as any, I think.

Tomorrow's To-Do List:

I was planning on coming home after my Accounting test tomorrow, but I think I might stay there. If her dumbass boss calls her in anyway (the most likely option because there aren't any self-isolation requirements here anymore and the ones she works for are reluctant to ever do more than the absolute bare minimum of what they're legally required to do) then there's nothing I can do, but if she's going to be home all day then I'll stay out as long as possible.

#accountingacademic #accounting academic #accounting #studyblr #college #productivity #study #daily reflections #november #2023 #november 2023

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lifviakaza · 2 years

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"I'm tired, Mom."

It was 2019, my first real job, thousands of miles away from home, her last child, unmarried, left everything behind, hurt so badly, in tears but decided not to stay anyway.

"Well, go home then, Mong. Money isn't everything. I just want you to be happy. Start over here, come back home, my little darling."

I was a bookworm, a nerd. If young generations nowadays stay at home for playing online games, I stayed all day long home to read while watching our little shop. I've told you that I joined a lot of courses and organizations. One time she asked me, "Have u actually learned anything? Is it worth it?" Tho I know that she was kinda concerned about the money she and my dad spent.

She was born and raised in that little town where to dream is free but to take an action and eventually reached your crazy wild imaginations is a crime especially if you're an unmarried woman. "What else do you want? Go home, get married and take care of your parents!" tho it's none of the neighbors business really. People talk behind your back, and you're considered a Virgin Mary--which is an insult for single women passing their 25s.

"I'm so tired, Mom."

Every other time, when I have to do something just because I am an adult, just because the people around me tell me to live the 'normal' life; bachelor's is enough; marry a government employee; take care of the children at home; live happily ever after.

Where's the happily ever after? When you aren't sure what you are doing and why you're doing it.

So I escaped every time, I listened to my heart instead of other people's opinions, because truth be told, none of their comments has helped me through a single thing in my life. "Live the normal life!" isn't supposed to be that exact sentence. Can we just live "our normal life"? Because we can, well I can, personally.

I got the lowest score for my final exam in high school cz I didn't want to be 'normal' - cheating , I failed all the governmental schools I was taking cz I didn't want to be 'normal' - bribing + making rich people even richer. God knows how much I needed the free school looking at every aspect of my life at that moment, but I didn't want to be normal, I still don't.

"You went to that expensive top 3 school and you failed all these tests?! What have you learned really?"

I remember calling my mum from another city and cried afterwards cz she was in the hospital and I failed another test bcz I'm not Chinese and those ppl still judged me saying my parents had spent so so very much and the results were nothing like anyone ever expected.

I was at the very lowest bottom in my life and no one wanted to talk to me so I spent days in my room crying and it gave me a little stroke. That's when my cousin got mad and told my mum this, "Stop caring about what other people want! Who do you love? She's done her best, it's her destiny to live the " not normal" life. It's just not her destiny. There's something else, maybe more, for her."

I was taken to the hospital and my mum started talking to me again, "Well, it's okay, Mong. Let's just go to this "normal" university. We will be able to make money for this. It's ok. It's gonna be ok."

So I moved to that city and found my freedom, I didn't know what I wanted, but I knew exactly what I didn't want. Yeah, I didn't go to that university. I took a gap year, took another university entrance test the following year, moved to another city where I had no one and I started everything from scratch. And my dreams, my people, they found me, oh God I just realized all those times I was trying so hard to find what and who I wanted to be surrounded with. I forgot they were and are alive, they will find their ways to me, it's how it works. That's how I started to figure out life, it's harsh, but it's possible, always and forever possible.

"I'm exhausted, Mum."

She answered the same sentences the last time I told her that, it was 2020. But I decided not to come home that time, I stayed where I wanted to be and did what my heart had always told me to, I was so hopeless yet so ready to lose. However, life is indeed a mystery. When we surrender, we win every battle. I won and still winning and it's not and maybe will never be a normal life for me or people with similar destiny as mine. All those ups and downs, stubbornness, stupidity, rebellion, whatever, I'd never be my truest self without those uncommon characters that manifest in me deeply.

"I'm ok, Mum. But can I come home? Not that it's tiring or exhausting. I just miss your food, or maybe you."

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anemoiasim · 2 years

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Where I've Been/What's Next

Warning: the following post is very long and if you don't want to read it, I don't blame you. But for the best understanding of what's been going on and those who really want to know I suggest reading. If not, tldr is included below.

tl;dr: I've grown as a person, my content should reflect that. I'm deleting stuff eventually, so not goodbye but I'll see you all around! 💕

So if it hasn't been painfully obvious, I've not actually done anything here in a long time. I've been wanting to write or say something about it for a while now but was too afraid to say anything until now.

I genuinely don't want to post here anymore. It's a combination of a lot of things honestly. Ranging from the community itself, lack of inspiration, my own perfectionism, interest straying, etc. I could talk for hours about all those things but what it really boils down to is something I knew all that time ago when I first started typing this post months ago that I was too afraid to admit to myself then. I've outgrown this chapter of my life. It's not to say I think I'm too old for Sims or Tumblr or anything like that, I'll certainly still be here. But I have outgrown what this phase of my life represented.

When I first joined Tumblr, and then later simblr, I was only 14. I had a hard time making friends, had a tumultuous home life, and was severely depressed. I desperately needed a place to express myself and this place was it. And this space did just that for many years. I meet some amazing people, created stories I still cherish, Sims I cringe and laugh at, and grew as a person. But for the past year or so, I haven't been able to do that here anymore. Part of that is the community changing itself but what I've realized is most of my issue is that I've changed to.

I'm now 21, I'm confident in who I am more so than ever (still working on it), navigating my first healthy relationships both platonically and romantically, about to graduate college, and learning to be my authentic self. For more context, I was diagnosed with bipolar type 2 at the beginning of 2020 and ever since then learned more and more about myself and my true identity. From realizing my own pansexuality and suppressed trauma to trusting myself and learning what I truly want, I'm a very different person from that 14 year old girl who started here. And that's a good thing that I should celebrate and embrace, not push away in fear. Within this journey, I've learned to be more open and honest not only so I can love those around me properly, but also myself. And part of that is being honest here too by saying, my heart just isn't in this anymore, at least not the way it was. The way I desire to tell stories, the stories I want to tell, the characters I want to portray, everything is different because I'm different.

So what does that mean for anemoiasim? Well, right now nothing. I still have my final semester to finish and don't have a lot of time to spare right now to do much else other than studying and try and keep up. But during this time and afterwards I plan on deleting everything that I no longer resonate with including my legacy and any story before novelty. Novelty is a story I still enjoy but I want to review it and see if this is truly the best home for it. It's incredibly long in terms of telling it here so I'm not sure if I'm up to that task if I'm being completely honest and even so I think I might need to do some tweaking. Then, I want to delve into making the spin off from Novelty. It's a bit of a passion project at this point that I honestly have more pinned down after about 2 years of planning in my mind, Pinterest, and writing. It's shorter, more accurate to my current self, and tackles subjects that are close to my heart.

All in all, this isn't a goodbye like I had feared a couple months ago, but a new era. A new, happier, healthier, me that I can't wait to share with you all who've watched me grow the most and I hope continue too.

Love you all,

Savannah 💕

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hypocrisyofandrewdobson · 3 years

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Fic Submission: “Sam’s Truest Goodbye”

The following is a story submission based of a particular storyline from Alex ze Pirate, essentially an alternate ending. I’ll warn that this is a more dark interpretation of events and what happened in the actual comic, and may be upsetting to some given the subject material. Anon said they wrote this in about an hour as a sort of challenge to themselves, and was done as a response to @soyouareandrewdobson ‘s story prompt from their review of said storyline, which can be read below, which I do recommend since at the time of writing this, Dobson’s Alex ze Pirate site is down and the comic cannot be read there.

Basic Information on Sam and His Overall Treatment In-Universe:

Full Review and Breakdown of the Storyline/Arc the Fic is Based On

The fic deals specifically with the ending shown in the last linked post above and give a much darker take on what could have happened. Anon has stated they welcome any feedback or criticism people are willing to give, so please give it a read and see what you think.

Setting the locket back on the gravestone, Sam leaned in and gave it a soft kiss. A few tears welling up in his eyes he couldn't help but notice how simple the grave was. He knew that an orphan didn't have much and was glad that she even had one instead of a cremation or a stone that said to all those who lost their lives, but he thought she deserved better.

"Be at peace now sis," the young man said, forcing a smile as he struggled not to look back at those he could hear watching him, "I've got a new group to take care of now! I'm quite happy!"

"I'm sorry you had such a hard life.... but.... at least now.... we're both free."

"Farewell."

Sam hated lying to his sister like that, but he knew it had to be done. With how the pirates treated him he couldn't risk them knowing what he truly thought of them. While they might be lacking in so many ways they had him out numbered and he wasn't the strongest by any means.

There were many ways to beat someone. Force, skill, and numbers were all fine options, but he had never been given the chance to really get better at either of the first two choices and he had no means to increase the last one.

Going on to his ship, Sam thought about his options.

He could just run, but even if they weren't the best pirates Alex and the others had been able to find him when he thought he gave no clues to where he was going. He had nothing to his name, or at least not nearly enough to make something of himself, and no connections.

For now he got in his dingy and started his path to the island that he, unfortunately, had to call home.

"At least I can enjoy the ride back," Sam said to himself as he smelled the fresh air and worked to keep on course, "I won't have to deal with them until tomorrow if I can sneak in without being caught... unless they are waiting for me."

The quiet was eventually broken when a larger boat came upon him with plenty of people on it.

"You alright down there?" one of the people called out, "Dry land’s the other way you might need to turn around."

Looking up at the fishing boat, Sam smiled and tried not to cry. It wasn't because he was happy to see them, but because after he had been the subject of abuse for so long at the hands of the pirates having someone seem concerned about him was something he couldn't imagine. Even if it was for something as mundane as making sure he wasn't lost.

"No I'm fine," he exclaimed, "I just need to get back to the island so I'm on the right direction."

The finishing boat kept on track with Sam and his small ship and kept talking until eventually the head of the ship yelled down.

"Your home isn't too far out of the way. We can drop you off if you like."

"Ah I don't have any money to pay for a ride," Sam admitted, "If I did I'd gladly pay for a ride though."

"Oh nonsense just get ready we'll haul you up."

A part of Sam wondered if this was going to be another abduction and a new enslavement, but at the same time he didn't really care.

His family was gone. The person he was trying to earn money to help have a life beyond being sold off if she wasn't adopted was dead and he had no more goals.

If these people were like Alex and the rest then he could just wait until they had a conflict and fought each other. If he was lucky then both sides would end up gone and he could escape without concern.

Instead he was met with warmth and given some food and drink as the captain adjusted the path the ship was taking.

/////////////

During the ride, Sam became the center of attention.

When you are on a ship with the same people for months on end, everyone ends up sharing the same stories until everyone could tell each person's story nearly as well as the person who lived it. With Sam it was a new pair of ears to listen to, and react to, the stories.

Because of this people were almost fighting over spending time with him, but amongst all the stories one caught Sam's attention more than any of the others.

The story that the cabin boy told about how his father died.

The shortest and simplest way to describe the story would be to say that the boy's father ate some fish and died because it wasn't prepared properly. The death fish, as it was called, was something of a delicacy, but a dangerous one.

It looked like another more common fish except for two main facts.

First it had an extra pair of fins which was how it was most often identified and second was it had a small sack of poison within it that if ruptured would make the whole fish inedible unless you wished to die a painful and slow death. That was unless you drank a lot of booze with it. Then you would have a slow and painful death a few hours later as the booze would hinder the poison at first.

Apparently if you could cut out the poison without it rupturing it was considered one of the tastiest fish you could eat, but the risk was too much for most people. That is why it was usually sold to expert chefs who would be able to make twenty times the cost of the fish if they were successful in removing the poison, or nearly worthless except as a way to deal with vermin.

Short term because the fish would rot if not eaten within days of being gutted, even if kept cold.

Because of that story, Sam had an idea and he started to think about how he could throw a party for everyone upon getting home, with a very unique main course.

/////////////

When Sam was dropped off it didn't take much for him to get four of the seven death fish that the fishermen had managed to fish up on this leg of their trip.

At first they didn't want to sell them, but a quick trip to the treasure pile was able to get the purchase done quickly. Sam told himself as the ship left that he could have probably gotten in for a lot less, but he didn't want to risk the ship being seen by anyone as he started to prepare for the festivities.

Getting everything he could imagine needing he started to write the banner when a loud cough was heard from behind him. The short figure was almost as unmistakable as the beard and hooks that it had to go with it.

"Where ya been boy? I haven't had my food an the girls left b'fore I could wake up from my hangover."

Uncle Peggy, Sam mentally groaned.

Why was he still on the island?

"Oh they went out for some fun I suspect," Sam started with his usual forced smile, "Since they were gone I went out to restock on some things. I got lots of stuff ready so we can throw a welcome home party for everyone. I don't suppose you would mind helping me get ready would you?"

The request for help was all it took for Peggy to quickly leave as Sam sighed.

"Not surprised... I wonder though... at this point would a surprise have mattered."

For the next hours Sam prepared the party. Setting up decorations and preparing the food, only making himself a vegetarian dish so there was no chance of him mixing up what he prepared.

In the unlikely event that someone cared enough to ask he would just say that he ran out of fish and made himself something different.

/////////////

By the time the ship pulled up everything was ready.

The decorations were up, the food was ready along with lots of booze. It was a party after all and why hold back on the drink at a time like this?

As the group approached him, Sam mentally held his breath as he asked himself if there would be any real change. If they would even be willing to say they were sorry or if there would be any reason for him to lie and say he dropped the main course. He had even prepared four normal fish dishes just in case someone was able to change his mind before the celebration got into full swing.

Once everyone got off the ship, Sam didn't waste any time approaching them all.

"Hey guys!" he exclaimed, "You were gone when I got back so I thought I'd throw you a little party for when ya returned."

Talus looked at the small gift he found and with a hesitant voice asked, "Party?"

Atea pondered aloud, "How did you get back before us?"

"Waaaah," Talus bawled, "I'm not worthy to have a party!"

"Huh," Sam replied feigning ignorance, "What do you mean, Atea?"

Talus suddenly hugged Sam and for a bit he wondered if he would have to swap one of the meals. If the word sorry came from the fuzzy pirate that would be exactly what he would do.

"Not after how I've treated you! Waaah."

"Aww," Sam said smiling hoping that he was wrong about at least one person, "Hi, Talus!"

"I took the dinghy out last night for the main lands," admitted Sam, "but on the way back I was able to hitch a ride with some fishermen!"

Talus clung tightly as he cried out "You're my best friend!"

A second later Atea hugged him too. Sam wondered if he was wrong. Would he have to swap out all the meals, with the exception of Peggy? All he needed was a proper apology or just being told they cared for him and would treat him better. Maybe offer him a room so when it rained he wouldn't have to just make do. Nothing that was too hard.

Alex stood off to the side and watched for a bit. She looked torn on how to react and closed her eyes while looking down.

"Sam," she began, "As Captain, this is one of the hardest things for me to say..."

Sam couldn't believe it. She was going to say sorry? Or maybe praise him? These next words would either solidify his plan or make him change it entirely, is what he told himself as Alex continued.

"You're not completely worthless."

"Wow!" Sam exclaimed, doing his best to hold back his disgust at what she considered praise, "I'm honored Captain!"

"Now then, who's up for a party."

For the next several hours the party went off without a hitch. They ate, drank, and partied for hours before Sam brought out the main dish. The dish that he had hoped he wouldn't give them, but knew deep down he would have to if he wanted to be treated like a person instead of just a disposable tool.

Watching them eat and not even question why he just had a salad, Sam knew he would finally be free like he told his sister he was. He would take the treasure, the ship, and everything else he thought of as having any value and go.

Trying to find the fishermen who actually saved him and getting his sister a proper grave to show that someone did care for her was top on his list. Beyond that he wasn't sure what to do with his life.

He just knew that, sitting in the crows nest that was his bed, the screams would be starting soon and once it was silent it would be the dawn of a new day even as the moon shined high in the sky.

#andrew dobson #tom preston #submission #story prompt #alex ze pirate #adobsonartworks #adobsonart

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hazeday · 2 years

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....I just! (paces in circles, gesturing wildly)

like I really think this is seriously a lot worse of a problem than I've ever realized mostly because. I've just naturally been reclusive! I've never gone out for fun. I would do whatever absolutely needed to be done and I would come home and not leave again unless absolutely necessary. And the thing is like, ohhh I feel like I'm making a big deal out of nothing. But listen. I was very very briefly employed at the end of 2021 but other than that the entire year essentially of 2020 and the vast majority of 2021 was spent, inside, like everyone, but to an even greater extent, because that's where I feel safe! And comfortable! So now, my like, tolerance level, I guess, for going out, is like, at rock bottom. And I can't like, do anything about it, because, well first, I can't just, be a home body, as much as I'd like to. For a number of reasons. But also, I can't, haha, like seek any kind of you know, therapy or whatever for this because I'm uninsured and I don't know when I'll be insured again I have no idea. So there's no coping skills here to even start with because I had. No idea! This was even a problem! Going from. Since graduating high school in 2015, and even THEN, if I wasn't at school I was at home, right - to every other time as an adult being either between jobs or only working like 20-25 hour weeks and spending the rest in the house, in the same bedroom even, 24/7, to suddenly, seven years later, like very just really immediately the past week, being out of the house all day like the entire day multiple days in a row for like 10 days. Seriously it's.messing with me a lot like I feel really really really bad and scared and just. I can't even describe it it's like a trigger I didn't. Know existed or fully understood until this really specific set of circumstances has lead me to leaving my house for such extended periods of time and going like several different and unfamiliar places at once and I haven't been in a situation like this before and I have absolutely no idea how to deal with it. I'm gonna have to. I guess just. Really communicate to my house or something like hey, I really can't go out after this next bit of things get settled because it's freaking me out in ways I don't fully understand and have absolutely no idea how to cope with. Anyway sorry for the mentally ill ramble on main lol.

#delete later #bye this is so bad im going even more in depth on the vent accnt LMAO

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nightswithkookmin · 4 years

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JIKOOK IS WILD'N BEHIND SUGA- AGAIN

It's official, Jikook don lost their minds- or they is madly in love- whatever y'all kids call it these days. Chilee, can't even tell the difference any more at this point. Sigh. When I tell you Jikook is real. Please Jikook is real.

Remember the thing they used to do behind suga in interviews when they were teens? Holding hands behind Suga and what not? They. Are. Still. Doing. It. Again. In. 2020. y'all

I can't with their asses.

I've said this before, I don't do these kinds of analysis- video analysis I mean. I literally can't do it. Lol. If I could I would. Y'all don't know how many days it's taken me to work this simple video edit. And even that I still had to solicit the help of my bestie- I'm starting to think she's more delusional than I am at this point. Lol. Bless her.

Anywho, we went through all that trouble falling on the video editing skills we don't have- well I don't have, I think she did great; not because of Jikook sneaky ass holding hands behind unsuspecting Suga in the the dynamite MV shooting sketch video- which Suga, It's been seven years and you still don't know what goes on between Jikook behind your back?? Jikook are smooth criminals but I'm starting to think Suga in on this. Smirk.

Suga is an accomplice y'all. Enabling these shenanigans as if he don't know. He knows!

Since my last post on VMinKookJoon's tensions, where I talked briefly about the subtle tensions that I've been noticing between Tae and JK throughout this year, it's come to my attention that Tuktukkers are running around the internet claiming the tension between V and Kook, in one of the clips I pointed out, had been because JK had been mad and Jealous over Jin wrapping his hands around Tae...

I respect their hustle. I really do. Plus, I don't like to meddle in other people's delusions- it brings me no joy whatsoever.

But...

Jk wasn't jealous over Tae shit- In my humble opinion. Was he mad at Tae? Yes. Did Tae notice JK was mad at him and hence drew a sad face? Yes he did. The video evidence is there. All of that happened.

If you've not seen the moment I am talking about please check my previous post to see what I'm talking about. I said I was going to delete it- well I lied. Lol.

The tension between Kook and Tae in that Dynamite Shoot Sketch wasn't because JK was jealous that Tae and Jin were flirting and playing around behind him, it was because Tae had almost accidentally exposed Jikook flirting behind Suga- Something, I assume JK thought V had done on purpose. Hear me out.

Tae was sad because, he genuinely didn't intend to pull on JK's shoulder the way he did causing JK to toggle slightly away from Suga- I wish I could show you this in a video analysis. This is frustrating! But I suck at tech stuff. Ugh!!!

What had happened was:

At the start of that scene, Jimin it seemed wanted to be close to JK- by close I mean he wanted to touch up on JK, feel up on him, kiss up on him, love up on him, hold him, slow dance with him, make love to him- Uno, horny grown up couple stuff. Lol.

Don't mind me.

I don't know what was going through his head in that moment but clearly he was craving some form of physical connection from JK hence why he initiated that contact.

You could see the progression of them drawing closer and closer to eachother, trapping Suga in between them.

Listen, JM is scary when he is high on adrenaline! That's when he starts rubbing JK's thighs and foot and- sweet lord he is wild. Chileeee!

He placed his hand in his pockets and pushed his body against Suga's but once he does that he takes his hand out and tugs on JK's arm or something- smooth criminal this one.

JK noticed what JM was up to so he did the same thing- pushed his body against Suga and held JM's hand. Then there was a cut.

It's hard to spot except for that the two had ended up after the cut sandwiching Suga in between them. Had it not been for Tae that moment would have gone undetected.

Whatever they were doing behind Suga, it seemed Tae had clocked on. He turned his gaze in their direction briefly and looked away suspiciously- Tae... How that man is great at acting but sucks at hiding his feelings beats me. Lmho.

This is the same person y'all swear is hiding a relationship in BTS? He mustn't be feeling emotions for this person then. Chileee.

Dude glanced at JM and exchanged what I could only assume was a disapproving stare at JM in the process. I bet he wanted to scream, 'let's not hold hands behind our hyungs' in that moment. Lol.

I think JK noticed Tae glancing at whatever they were doing with their hands behind Suga but kept his cool- so Jikook, y'all did all of that with a straight face? Damn they slick!

Unfortunately, Jin pushed Tae- I don't know if that was by accident because Jin was just playing around with Tae. However, because Tae had his hand wrapped around JK, he had ended up dragging JK along with him- That's when the Taekook saga began. Lol.

I believe JK had assumed Tae had done that bit on purpose because as I've said it is part of Taekook's dynamics - Tae is constantly teasing and shading JK and even sometimes passive aggressively exposing Jikook's antics as seen in the dynamite MV reaction VLive.

Remember in their earlier dynamics, that moment when JK wanted JM to stand next to him but Tae was in the middle so he kept poking at Tae's ribs to move? And JM too was low key pulling on Tae's shirt to move at the same time but Tae deadass wouldn't move?

I'M DEAD🤣🤣🤣🤣

Tae is that friend! Chileee. I just love him to bits!

I think Jk found it ironic that Tae should place his hand over his shoulders when a few seconds ago he had attempted to separate him from his man which is why he had that look on his face when he glanced at Tae's hand on his shoulder.

Frankly that thing is something that I feel irks JK a lot. Not just when Tae does it, but when RM or Hobi or Suga or anyone else does it.

That's what most of these Jeonlous moments are about really, especially in recent times.

For example, him elbowing RM to get his hands off Jimin in their recent Home performance wasn't because he was jealous. It's more so he was annoyed. If you paid attention to the 'fan service' bit Jikook did in the bedroom scene it's clear they had been given a talking to- to keep things PG, just as RM had indicated in JK's bdae VLive when he said they had all agreed before filming not to do and say certain things.

I could see then why it would irritate JK if anyone else would freely do skinship with JM but then censor him if he tried to do it with Jimin too- know what I mean?

Most of these 'jeonlous' moments are just JK basically saying, let's all be held to the same standards- if I can't do this with Jimin, atatatatatat, neither can y'all.

Gotta keep the same energy.

This is what I mean by stress. You can hide a relationship but you can't hide the stress that comes with keeping that relationship a secret. These kinds of tensions are bound to arise as a result of keeping Jikook a secret.

I mean there is a reason Jikook try so hard not to look like a secret. There is a reason they play off some of their interactions as 'fanservice'. They do that to take the edge off because keeping secrets is hard.

And so when you look at that moment, and you see how freely TaeJin were 'flirting' and having fun openly, but JK and JM had to sneak behind Suga's back to have a moment; and to have Tae pull on JK like that- I get why JK would be triggered. But honestly Tae didn't do it on purpose. Not this time around. Lol

Chileee, JK! You scare me! Lmho. He out here scaring people for no reason! Had Tae looking like he about to call Jimin to arrange a heart to heart meeting with Kook again. Chileeee.

It broke my heart watching that bit because Tae honestly didn't do that bit on purpose. I can vouch for him, JK. It is why Tae had that look on his face. He hadn't intended that bit.

This does not mean however that each time or all the times that Jk has pulled away from Tae when Tae has tried to hold his hands or do certain things with him like in all the times I've mentioned or during the recent On:e concert, that it's because he felt V was trying to sabotage his moments. That's a silly thought.

I can pull out a list of all the times there's been tensions between those two especially this year and I can tell you only a hand full of those moments have anything to do with JK's relationship with JM.

Some are about him trying to enforce his personal boundaries which he does with all the members as well, among other things.

Taekook have their own issues going on which has nothing to do with JM. Whatever falling out they had had in the past, Tae has been really trying to rebuild their connection- they both have been putting in the effort and I hope they can fix things and go back to the way that they were before because I kinda miss the old them. Sigh.

Anywho, when JM noticed what had happened- that Tae had pulled on JK's shoulder , I think he too thought Tae had done that bit on purpose. He dropped his hand from Hobi's shoulder and composed himself. I think he tried to take his hands down but JK wouldn't let go of his hand. Lol.

So when the music started playing and they were all dancing, JK and JM were the only once dancing with Just one hand each and you could see JM's shoulder inches away from Suga- Yoonminers I see you. I love y'all but JM wasn't holding Suga's waist. Don't get any ideas. Lol.

When they started moving away at the end of the video, that's when you can clearly see JM's hand drop down from behind Suga.

Listen, Jikook are smooth criminals but they ain't slick. They tried it. All that body pressed up against Suga, chilee I thought they were going to crash that man.

Jikook have been pretty sneaky this comeback. For good reason I guess. Jk throwing the boy with love sign at JM after JM kicked him during the second day concert, and this moment right here amongst others so far are my favorite.

I love it here.

Please go watch the original footage for yourself and draw your own conclusions.

My conclusion is, 'Jikook gay, Jikook married' Jikook is real, keep supporting them.

Signed,

GOLDY

#jikook #kookmin #jikooktheories #kookmintheories #jikook analysis #kookmin analysis #jikook flirting #jikook holding hands #jikook boyfriends #jikook is real #jikook in love #Jikook scenarios #nightswithkookmin #GOLDY #goldy blogs #goldy analysis #goldy theories

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cruciatusforeplay · 3 years

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This is part two of a hella big post. Check out part one here. These are all a lot more recent, so I'm gonna try to be less spoilery, but there are gonna be some.

A not-so-brief history of Hawkeye in Comics Part Two (spoilers below the cut)

A note on events, dying and doubling down on Hawkeyes

Comics love doing big events, and I'm not covering them in here. Partly because they are huge and complex and to just focus on Hawkeye would be an injustice to the stories, but also because the amount of stuff I would need to spoil would be way beyond just a little Hawkeye. Clint was involved in Secret Wars (1984), which was one of the first crossover events of its kind. Another notable era is 2004-2009, where there is an incredible amount of superhero politics driving big narratives. If you're new to comics, you might not know that characters dying is common and rarely permanent. This is relevant because while I said that I wouldn't talk about events, I think it would be pretty uncool to not mention that Hawkeye dies and is brought back to life (Avengers Disassembled, House of M, New Avengers #26). It's around here that Clint picks up the Ronin mantle.

This is also when Dark Reign/Dark Avengers is going on. For anyone who'd like some Clint whump from this era, there's a top notch naked torture scene in New Avengers Annual (2009). Clint is involved in several other big events and crossovers over later years, but that's definitely a seperate list.

In the time where Clint is dead, Captain America is hanging out with a group of newly formed Young Avengers, including archery badass Kate Bishop. Cap suggests to her that she take up the Hawkeye mantle and gives her Clint's old bow. After Clint returns, he becomes initially her mentor, before they form a very close friendship. Clint is initially doing Ronin things, but even when he lays down ninja robes, they decide to be very Hawkeye about the whole thing and both keep calling themselves Hawkeye, despite the obvious confusion this causes.

Hawkeye's ears: Hawkeye vs. Deadpool #0-4 (2014)

This is a fun little miniseries that you could treat as a Halloween special if you so desired. It's set in the time after Fraction's run and there are a few callbacks, but nothing major if you've not read that. Clint is a little short-tempered and hypermasculine in this run for my personal taste, but it's got lots of grumpy Clint Vs sassy Wade while they vaguely attempt to team up. The thing this run does really well is Clint's deafness, despite the lack of visible hearing aids. There are comments around lip-reading, wearing aids when wearing other headgear, there's some sign language, and this is the run where Deadpool pulls his mask up so Clint can lipread and see his face while he signs (facial expressions are really key in sign language). It's lovely. Otherwise the run gives you a Kate cameo, some Deadpool and Hawkeye disaster/shenanigans, and perhaps most importantly, the return of the skycycle.

Key background: All New Hawkeye #1-6 (2015)

This run is often overlooked, but the art in the flashbacks is beautiful. We get some key information around Clint and Barney's abusive home situation - with their dad who drank and beat them, and how they ended up in care after their parents died, and subsequently their early days in the circus. There is a definite shift in how Barney is characterized as a bad influence compared to the 2003 run. It parallels with the rest of the arc which focuses on Clint and Kate Bishop working together to get some kids out of a very bad situation. The rest of Lemires run is a little weird and has no major repurcussions for anyone except Barney (which I won't elaborate on because it's relevant to the Fraction run).

Back to your roots: Tales of Suspense #100-104 (2017)

Seeing Clint cycle back and return to Tales of Suspense is really lovely. This comic is one of my all time favourites. It's incredibly tight story-telling with a great plot and really fun dynamic. The premise is Clint and Bucky teaming up to figure out the body trail being left after Black Widow's death. Clint is obnoxious and a delightful mess, Bucky is sporting a permanent scowl and is hilariously level-headed. It's a lot of fun and it's a lovely build on the tension and teamwork between these two idiots (who I, as an avid Winterhawk shipper, am completely gone for, but even without that, this is a great comic.) It also has some killer covers, and the facial expressions are absolutely hilarious.

Hawkeyes together: Hawkeye #13-16 (2017) and West Coast Avengers #1-10 (2018)

The Hawkeye run is Kate Bishops run and it has a larger continuing storyline that runs from the beginning of her Hawkeye and way into WCA, but I've listed the issues that you'll want for Kate and Clint shenanigans, and you should be able to catch up without the rest if you don't want it. These comics are ridiculously fun, especially West Coast Avengers, which has Kate leading the team this time. There's loads of jokes, and it strikes a nice balance between Hawkeyes being disasters and being hyper competent. Truthfully, this is Kate's show, and Clint takes a backseat, but their dynamic is killer here so I think is deserves a mention. There are also plenty of Clint related wardrobe malfunctions and Lucky the Pizza Dog is around.

Our most recent boy: Hawkeye freefall #1-6 (2020)

I haven't read this one yet, but it's been extremely well received by the fandom. As a result, good news: no spoilers! It's a short run, which may have had something to do with it being published during 2020, and specifically around a time when Marvel were experiencing some major distribution issues (which would have led to digital release only and as a result lower sales), but that's all guesswork because I haven't actually researched it. This run has someone dressing as Ronin and letting Clint take the blame for their nefarious deeds (oh no!). Clint makes some classic Clint (read: dumpster fire) decisions, and the art looks fun and vibrant. Can't really give you more without reading it myself 😅 If you need more Clint still, he's also rumoured to be knocking around in the 2020 Black Widow run, but I've not had the money to get my mitts on that yet either.

Notable AUs:

Marvel is a big fan of throwing a well known cast into an alternative universes, so there are a few other places to look for him.

The Ultimates universe was largely speaking a bit of a shitshow, but they did give us a very dark and gritty Clint, so if that's your jam, ultimate hawkeye is the place to be. Old Man Hawkeye appears alongside Old Man Logan, and they are both, you guessed it, old. It's not the only time we get Clint as a wrinkly dude (the second half Lemire's run also has some timey-wimey stuff happening), but this is a version of Clint who is going blind (granted we've seen that before too, but this is a darker vibe than Blindspot). Wanna know who the greatest marksman is without his sight - old man Hawkeye for you! Finally there's the Zombie 'verse: zombie Clint is a little confused, but he's got the spirit. Clint got zombiefied and then left in some rubble as only a head for 40 years before getting picked up, so he's a little worse for wear. If you need that in your life then Marvel Zombies is your universe. For a full rundown of all the universes including animated and MCU, click here.

Notable aliases:

Clint's been a few other people than Hawkeye in the 616 universe (the main Marvel Comics universe). He used one of Hank Pyms growth serums and became a giant strongman in Avengers #63 (1969) and stuck around in his Goliath form for more than a few issues. After Cap had died, Clint returned from the dead and tried on Captain America for all of one issue in Fallen Son #3 (2007). He decided (with a little help from Kate) that it wasn't right to wear the uniform, which in turn led to some interesting tension between him and Bucky Barnes when Buck did become the new Captain America. Finally, there's his most well-known alternate persona: Ronin. Clint becomes Ronin after returning from the dead, wanting a break from his Hawkeye persona and an opportunity to become Ronin arises in New Avengers #27 (2007). Clint is not the only person to have used these aliases. Additionally, Hawkeye has been used not only by Clint and Kate Bishop, but also by Bullseye during the Dark Reign.

The things we haven't talked about

Like I said at the very beginning, there is a lot of Clint Barton knocking around in comics and even with all this there's a lot of content I haven't focused on. For instance, I've not talked a lot about his relationships, beyond his marriage to mockingbird (and really I only scratched the surface with that), and honestly once you start getting into interpersonal relationships we're starting to move on from what can be done in a Tumblr thread.

There are also some topic specific threads floating around, which you might like to look at too.

@vaguelyrotten has done a run down of some great dumpster fire Clint Barton comics (some of which I haven't listed) and you can see that here.

@bobbimorses did a great summary of Clint's historical deafness for instance which you can find here.

There's also this little bit all about Clint and Bucky in canon (thanks to @nightwideopen ) and how Winterhawk became a thing (thanks to @1000-directions )

This is slight sidenote, but @clintscoffeepot did a really great comprehensive of Fraction Clint's apartment which is just a really useful writing resource and you can get that here.

There is also this website which I stumbled across fairly far into writing this post which does actually look like it might be comprehensive.

If I've missed anything major, or listed something incorrectly or you just have some Clint related opinions that I need to know about, do hit me up.

#clint barton #Hawkeye #hawkeye comics #hawkguy and other costumes #deaf hawkeye #comic #comic books #marvel comics #let's talk about comics

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livebloggingmydescentintomadness · 3 years

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Hey momdad. It's my birthday. I haven't slept, and I don't have any messages, and it's dumb to care. But mostly it just makes me feel like a failure. I know this year has been hell for everyone, but I feel like... ugh. I quit a toxic job, then wound up having to move back in with my parents. Each thing I get excited about something gets in the way. I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm a year older, and I've gone backwards, and it feels shitty.

hey, sweetheart, i’m so sorry you’ve had such a shitty night and a shitty year. it’s not stupid to care, or to feel bad after everything. you’re really going through some awful stuff, and it makes complete sense to feel bad when all of that compounds on a lonely night when you feel like nobody cares about you.

look, i’m gonna give you some birthday wisdom, alright? some years of your life serve as nothing but bridges. they have no purpose except for you to get to what’s on the other side. some years, you don’t make progress, you don’t succeed, you don’t live life to the fullest, you don’t make the best, all you do is survive to the next year, because important things are waiting in that next year.

life is not about building up and up and up, year after year, at least not for most people. for most people, you try to build something and you fail. you start again, and get it halfway built and then it crumbles. you build something successfully for twenty-five years and then one day it’s all gone.

is that scary and discouraging, does it make you feel like giving up before you start? of course. life is terrifying and frustrating and offers no guarantees. but the upside is that you are no unique failure among a sea of effortless successes. everybody is going to fail at some point. everybody is going to take one step forward and then two steps back. everybody has nights where everything seems shitty and miserable. in this low moment, you are anything but alone.

we get way too brainwashed into believing that, firstly, success only looks one way, and secondly, that it’s our fault if we don’t achieve it. it’s capitalism that tells you that you must live by yourself and have a good job, and then it’s also capitalism that makes that impossible and sends you back home.

not to derail the conversation, but to deal with my own mental illness i’ve recently been watching a lot of calming videos of people gardening and cooking in rural china, and it’s really struck me as an american how all the people i’ve seen live in multi-generational households. it’s normal and expected for young adults to live in the same home as their parents and grandparents. some of them leave to work in the city, but some also stay and the only ‘job’ they have is farming and cooking for their family - which is difficult work, to be sure, but it’s far from what’s expected in the west.

isn’t it so incredibly fucked up that we kick kids out at 18, after years of them being treated like children and never being taught how to live on their own, and we expect them to just know how to survive and be adults without any help or support? that’s so stupid. there’s no fucking reason you shouldn’t live with your parents for as long as that makes sense for you. capitalism just wants us to buy more things and pay more rent.

listen to me, honey. you quit a toxic job, and that’s honestly a great achievement. escaping a toxic environment is always something to be proud of. you made the right choice by moving home to regroup and figure out what you’re going to do next. and most importantly, you didn’t die from the plague. merciless capitalist brainwashing is the only thing that makes you think you should have done more in a year like 2020.

it is completely valid for you to feel shitty and frustrated that things haven’t worked out the way you wanted them to. it makes sense that you feel sad that it’s your birthday and you haven’t gotten and messages yet. but the expectations you’ve placed on yourself are too fucking high, okay? you’re still young, and it’s normal for it take years to figure out what you’re doing with your life. it’s normal for your life to suddenly take an entirely different course than what you had planned.

and here’s one last piece of wisdom for you: nobody knows what they’re doing. all of us are born screaming into this weird, frightening life, and none of use are given a guidebook that tells us what to do with it. all of us are just figuring it out as we go and faking it as best as we can.

now, i want you to sleep, i want you to reach out to some friends today even if they haven’t reached out to you first - they are probably wrapped up in their own stuff and forgot, that doesn’t mean they don’t love you - and i want you to eat some cake and give yourself a fucking break, okay? you’re going to be alright.

#advice #anonymous #ask

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dana-chan-the-control-brain · 3 years

Text

Happy new year everyone 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

I know 2020 has been hard for everyone.

And I want everyone to know, suffering isn't a contest and we all suffer in different ways. But I feel I should give my year in Review. Just some things that happened to me personally.

This was an intense, and long and spiritual and emotional journey for me...

I really discovered what it meant to have community, family and what my life means to me.

But I feel I need to get this in writing cause I can remember the year with vivid detail and I will probably forget if I don't get it down.

Do I have to share this publically online to my tumblr account for a bunch of strangers to see? not really.

Do I want to?

Yes. I think so. Just from how so many people on tumblr and real life have touched me.

This is kinda long and no one needs to read this.

(idk how to do a readmore on mobile. But this is where I would add it later. No one needs to read if they don't want to.)

January/February: (and some background on the last five years of my life cause.....well. it's important.)

As people knew, I got way into Invader Zim last summer. I spent most of my waking life working a dead end job at a grocery store. I lived a sad lonely life, going straight home to a single dark studio apartment. With not many material possessions outside of games, my laptop and my tablet to my name. Half of my material loves, such as home furnishings and books were still in boxes from when I moved in. In case I ever had to move again, or get some "big screenshot or copywriter" job in the city.

....

I lived in that city in the same dead end job and apartment for five years.

No friends. No social life. I often refused to make doctor appointments or attempt to establish myself in that city. I didn't even talk to anyone in my workplace.

Work. Go online. Go to sleep.

I lived like that for five years.

I thought it was good.

Even my therapist thought I was doing well.

When I really wasn't. My main character flaw I struggle with is motivation.

I can talk to someone about very detailed plans I have to fix a problem... But I tend to never follow through.

Just because I can describe in detail how to fix my personal problems, it doesn't mean I will do it.

(I have gotten better at this but it's a major struggle)

I might have been a Zombie during the day...

But by night I was pouring my soul into my AU and my analysis.

After being so thoughly ignored or overlooked by the Naruto fandom and the Undertale fandom, I felt like I had finally found my home and was settling into a community there.

I just loved that people loved what I had to say.

Especially my AU.

It's no secret that a lot of themes in my au revolve around found family, grief, and loss.......

Fatherhood, in particular.

What it means to be a father, how much do you need to try when you mess up, how willing should a child forgive their parent, especially those that have wronged you and how much of it is factually accurate and simply a self projection of what children want their parents to be and visa versa... What amount of forgiveness and change is nessasary...is it needed?

....

It's no secret that a lot of my AU is a giant coping mechanism for my Dad's death. Espessially the falling out and growing closer with a lot of my family members throughout the years following his death. (Most of the time I keep it ambiguous to how it relates to my personal life unless I include a readmore that states so outright. I feel my au can be enjoyed by a variety of people in the fandom who don't need to know me as a person or my life story.)

My Dad passed away in 2016 in February and my family still feels the aftershocks to this day.

It's part of the reason I moved to the city, alienated myself from my family and people that loved me and refused to experience life for five years.

My entire world was Zim, and I was okay.

March: When America finally realized and started to feel the effects of the pandemic....

A lot of people got scared.

Me included.

I didn't have any streaming services or access to the news. So I only heard accounts from my mom.

I didn't understand why the store was so dead quiet and empty for a few days, then it went into mass chaos and panic in the span of two days.

It felt like Retail black friday in the worst way. Everyone was packed like sardines. Everyone was yelling. The lines at the registers bled into the clothing department.

I was witness to customers shoving others for toilet paper, being rude to cashier's and just overall unpleasantness.

At the time, I didn't even fully grasp what the pandemic was, and I feel a lot of people at the time didn't either.

I ended up absentmindedly scratching my eyebrow in front of a customer and she screamed and villanised me for it. That they didn't want groceries touched by my "unclean hands"

I ended up breaking down into tears.

The customer behind me gave me a hug and told me I was doing a great job.

But the damage was done. It was the final straw, I couldn't stop crying and I was breaking apart.

Thankfully my Boss (the one who likes me) pulled me aside and asked what's wrong.

It was then that I quit. No notice. Same day. I had to get out of there.

I was planning to move to an apartment with my sister in the summer, but my Mom offered for me to move back in with her temperarily just so I can get out of the city and away from the pandemic.

So I did.

I got scared, broke my lease a month early and quit my job of five years that gave me nothing back.

He told me, "take care of yourself and your family, I won't keep you here, do what you need to do."

So I did.

April-June:

A very eventful few months.

My mom offered for me to live at her place, but for some reason she was acting like I would live there forever. That this wasn't a temporary arrangement, and that I didn't have an apartment set up already.

This was in large part to my sister, who had lived with my mom taking advantage of her for years.

Even though my sister and I were going to move in together, I was just never sure about it cause of how she never packed her stuff or made any effort to find a job.

My mom often acted like I was lazy and not searching and was treating me like... Well, an unruly teenager instead of a woman of 29 years. She acted like I was a failure for returning home when it was her idea in the first place.

I would have just been petrified in the city.

Like usual, I retreated to my au again.... And in the spring, something eventful happened.

In may, 8th 2020:

I was invited by @rissynicole to join an invader zim discord.

Now, I've never really used discord before. I always thought it's interface is too confusing.. and I'm a member of a few other iz discords and I usually don't follow them that closely.

Rissy assured me it was different cause some friends of thiers made it and it was smaller.

Before I knew it, I was sharing memes and getting to know everyone there.

It wasn't long after I invited my partner in IZ crimes, @paketdimensioncomic who was genuinely wary of iz servers due to a bad experience with the last one they were a part of.

But soon they were sharing memes and laughing with everyone else.

My eyes were starting to open and I was able to connect to fans of my work in an interpersonal way. And I was able to discover new artists and aus I never knew about.

I was also able to meet so many others of the community and invite them to the server myself.

The moo-ping 10 server kept me sane while I was living with my judgmental mother.

Not only that, the summer was very productive for my au.

Drawing was all I did, and it was a huge break from the job as a cashier I had.

Not only that, June came, and with it, me and Ceph's first collab fic:

A result of us just going back and forth in our DMs constantly about Professor Membrane and how he changed in ETF for the better and how much we adamantly stan "trying-to-be-a-good-dad-brane" and how much of his ETF development has to be implied off screen in order for the emotional resolution in the movie to matter.

The only reason I never professed my love for Membrane as a character in the fandom before the fic dropped was.... Well....

Membrane can be a decisive character in the fandom and I was so worried people would hate me if I did an analysis on him, simply because he's not the best parent in the world. (As an understatement)

Ceph and I really encouraged each other to scream our love for the science himbo loud and proud more frequently and so often.... I actually start to see less Membrane hate posts and breakdowns then their used to be.... I like to think it's a combination of Me and Ceph's influence, along with ETF and the Quarterly's painting Membrane in a slightly more nuanced light then he was previously.

I never wrote a collab fic before and it's such a rewarding and fun and unique experience that I don't think I'll ever have again. And I love working with Ceph on our fics so much.

So much so we did it again...

July-August:

I never thought I would be one of those people who writes NSFW IZ fic... But here I am.

The Brainbrane au started.... An au of my au where Membrane and the Computer fall in love and Membrane makes him a body.

This ship was based around the idea where we joked that Membrane and Zim's Computer would have funny interactions if they ever met, under the pretense Membrane thinks Computer is Zim's parent.

Our headcanons morphed and shifted until we just full blown started shipping them.

Just because Membrane and Zim's Computer have overall REALLY entertaining chemistry.

It's a character dynamic never seen in the show or comics (yet) and I imagine thier interactions to be nothing but entertaining banter.

The fic was also born from spite... Making fun of the troupes and cliches that we found personally destestible in some questionable zadr fics.

So an angry ace and a demi-bisexual collab on a porn and end up blessing the fandom with

Compapa headcanons,

Computer being recognized as a more common used fanon character,

The ship of Brainbrane.

The fandom having a crisis of "oh God, not only are we xenophiles we're technophiles too!!!" Or "why you gotta give Zim's Computer an ass"

More android Computer designs

It was an eventful summer.

In the midst of all this, I moved into my new place, got a new job, and I was able to see my friend (who is def my platonic straight soul mate) who lives in Indiana.

She came to visit, showed me how to decorate and how to take care of my body better! Things were looking up! It was great.

September-November:

My job was at a boat store. If was approaching the fall and my hours were being severely cut.

I was getting into a rut of depression again.

I thought things were changing but the same routine I was trying to escape from was the same thing coming back.

But instead of letting it take hold, I decided I was going to do something about it... I was gonna visit a museum and go with my sister. Just... variety stimulation.

Well that didn't happen.

I talked about this shortly in my au itself...but..

My sister had a complete mental breakdown.

She stopped taking her meds, went off the deep end and was in the hospital a total of five times throughout November.

A lot of it was acting out and the perfect storm of environmental factors that made her scream and act out so she would keep going back to the hospital.

It was traumatizing for me.

I just can't explain what it's like. For her and for me to be in that position.

I'm not telling the full story and a lot of bullshit things happened I won't share here.

She got diagnosed with bipolar one and my mom expected me to be a caretaker for her.

I threatened to disown my family and move away out of state.

It was just too much for me to handle.

So much I was a nervous wreck.

I tried to pick up a second job... Cause my sister was in the mental ward so frequently and couldn't pay the bills.

But I was fired within a week cause I was so stressed I couldn't retain the basic information they were training me for.

It was an office job.

My dream.

It could have been.

I was fired from something I really wanted.

I was only there for three days.

I could not retain any information.

I was a mess.

My sister was a trigger, my mom wanted me to live with her. I couldn't live like this.... I had to get out.

I had to get out.

December:

Remember my Indiana friend?

Well the first week of December is my birthday.

My 30th to be exact.

While I did pick up a seasonal position at Target (not my first pick)

I took the first week of December off so I could spend time with her. Cause she agreed, I needed a break from this crap.

Surviving 30 years is cause to celebrate and if I had to celebrate with my sister I would have cried.

I know there was a risk traveling out of state during a pandemic...

But I needed out, I needed a friend..

And I kinda wanted to look at the place since I was considering moving there.

My friend's mom was sick so she avoided me and her daughter and got us a hotel room.

It was fun! I got to swim in a salt water pool, we talked about Naruto, I showed her the iz and su art books I brought, also Computer and Membrane tea.

I also got to meet her other friends and get crunk. And her bf who is super nice and funny!

I had a super fun birthday....

Until her mom told my friend that her grandparents had covid and that was what she had. And my friend got sick within that same day.... As did I.

I owe so much to her family.

I was an entire state away...about a ten hour drive from home.... She let me stay at her house. "The covid house" we called it.

Cause everyone (except the father. He avoided everyone and booked a hotel immediately cus he was an ER doctor) had covid within a day.

I called in, the test results were positive and I had to stay with her family for ten days quarantine before I could work again.

Which would have been fine....

If my tumblr didn't log me out perminately of my old account. @dana-chan325 .... Which really sucked cause I had a constant headache and was too sick to engage with tumblr or much of the fandom. I didn't want to make a new account when my head was in a bad fog and I could barely breathe or smell.

It's not like I saw much of my friend either.... We all slept at different hours and she had more symptoms then I did.

It was just netflix, danganronpa v3 and cry.

I was miserable, but at the same time.... Not?

I really feel like God himself was the one who pulled me off from tumblr, and my living situation.

Maybe a whole extra week feeling like a bobblehead was what I needed.

It gave me some much needed clarity on my relationships with my mom and sis and friend.

Running away to Indiana was not the solution here.

Once I was better within ten days and no longer had a leave of absence, I drove home.

I am glad I fully recovered (but from how I understand it, my dear friend is still ill. I'm praying for her)

I might have gone to work a bit too soon, cause I had an asthma attack after trying to unload a single cart in the span of six hours.

My boss lectured that my speed was unacceptable, and even though I explained the covid situation and breathing problems many times, she threatened that I'd be fired if I'm that slow again.

Que the next few days of work where they put me on register.

Instantly I was sent into a panic remembering the last time I was on the register and how that panic attack caused me to quit.

I even asked if I could go back to stocking, since my breathing had improved. My boss assured me that I was put on the register cause they needed help and nothing to do with my covid thing.

Then as December concluded and the new year began, my boss said that this was the last shift for me cause my position was seasonal and they were letting a lot of people go.

I then asked why I was on the schedule for Sunday, and he told me to ignore it and I'm free to reapply for full-time.

I mean.... They can act smart about it...

But putting your general merchandise stocker onto register after she had an asthma attack and missed working the first two weeks of December due to covid.....

Not a good look.

So once again, I'm jobless once more.

Will probably continue to live with my sister for awhile.

But I do not feel as if it's a bad thing....

I met so many good people this year....

My friend's family even gave me 500 usd to cover my rent since I couldn't work for a majority of December.

I've seen evil and good from humanity this year. I've seen acts of god, good friends and what my real family means to me as well as friends I consider family.

This year really made me look back at the person in the mirror and say,

"I deserve better."

And actually worked for it this time.

Oh and after Christmas I got a horrible yeast infection that burns over most of my body currently.

Very accurate doodle to the pain I'm in right now.

(seriously my body is a fungus.)

But hey, good news, I respected myself enough to go to the doctor about it!!

So that's progress.

I really hope 2021 holds good things for me.

Thank you to the mooping 10 server for always being there and keeping me sane,

Thank you tumblr for liking my au and everything.

AND A SUPER SPECIAL THANK YOU TO @evartandadam and her family for housing me and my dumb diseased ass. Everyone, she is an angel and I can't express how much she means to me. Please check out her art and buy her stuff on redbubble.

Anyways... Byebye 2020.

I look forward to what I can accomplish for myself this year.

#danachan's posts #personal stuff #new year post #tw: covid #tw: yeast infection

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