#bc that’s basically what i’m doing anyways

[rainbow-nerdss]

AITA for accidentally traumatising a 13 year old kid by pretending to be his dead mom?

So basically a couple of weeks back i (33F) was at work and I noticed this guy (30sM) staring at me. Now, this isn’t totally unheard of, I'm kind of used to it because I've done some acting in the past and sometimes people sort of stare while they try to figure out where they know me from. Usually I ignore it, but this guy was like crazy hot so I figured, fuck it, I’ll go talk to him, maybe make a sale out of it. We sort of talked a bit while I served him, and found out he’s a single dad. He had sort of sad vibes and I was kind of into it so when he asked me out I said sure, why not and we agreed to go for dinner.

So everything was going well for a while, we went on a few dates but mostly we facetimed bc he works 24 hour long shifts and scheduling dates around that and a kid is tough, which i totally understood and I was happy to be patient with him.  I should also say we still haven’t kissed at this point, even when he took me out on a boat on a lake, which was probably in my top 5 dates of all time? Anyway, I got the vibe he was holding back a bit but I figured I could wait bc he seemed like he was working through some stuff and dating in LA is fucking hard. 

What happened next was where the real shit started to hit the fan, though.

Basically, I decided to bring him some brownies at work, but I mistimed it and he’d already gone home so I gave them to his coworker who looked at me like I was a ghost or something. I should have recognised something was off then but I brush it off and the next day I get a call from the guy, and he asks me to come over to his place which hasn’t happened before. I figure this is a good sign, that maybe he’s ready to start moving things forward, but when I get to the house, there’s all these pictures on the coffee table and they all look EXACTLY like me. My first thought was: holy shit, this guy’s a stalker. Great. Then I looked closer, though, and the pictures weren’t even of me. Turns out, I look exactly like this guy’s dead wife???

Anyway, that was wild and obviously I left after hearing him out a little bc I just needed to wrap my head around it.

Now this next bit might be where i’m the AH, bc i haven’t had a chance to do any acting in a while and I genuinely felt bad for the guy, he just wanted a chance at closure with his wife and I couldn’t really fault him for that. 

So long story short, I cut my bangs (they looked cute in the pictures of his wife so I figured they’d work on me) and I went to his house in character as his wife and encouraged him to say what he needed to say to her. Things got pretty heated and he shared some really intimate thoughts and feelings so I was getting into it, you know? We embraced and I was feeling pretty good about the whole thing. I thought it really helped him until the door opened and in walks his kid with a woman who is apparently his girlfriend? So i guess the single part of “single dad” wasn’t totally accurate either.

Also, the kid called me mom, which kind of broke my heart, and I feel like maybe I might have fucked up somewhere here.

So reddit, I have to ask AITA for pretending to be a dead woman and accidentally being the other woman while simultaneously traumatising a thirteen year old kid?

#911 spoilers #kim 911 #eddie diaz

[gregmarriage]

#idk i’ll probably just take an unofficial break #bc that’s basically what i’m doing anyways #idk i’m kinda just popping in and out currently so idk if i wanna just leave for a while again? #idk my last few breaks didn’t really work soo idk 🤷🏻‍♀️ #idk ignore me i’m attention seeking 💁🏻‍♀️ #i don’t think ppl actually care either way tho imao #i’m just bored of everything imao #and i just can’t be bothered with this acc at times #it’s just sitting here and i never use it properly so ehhh #could restart and make a new one but cba bruh #i have like a million accs that i don’t fucking use so there’s no point remaking my main tbh #if i don’t use my sides i keep making i’m not gonna use my main imao #unless someone can convince me of a reason to stay then idk i’m thinking of just disappearing #no im not isolating myself what are you talking about?? #not that i even talk to ppl when i’m not isolating myself so it’s all the fuckin same #you’d never know the difference #idk i need to fix my life bc all i do is fucking doomscroll and i’m reallyyyy trying to cut back on that #so therefore a break #but again every time i take a break it’s just not enough? idk #i’m also not using tumblr as a metaphor for something else like what who said that 🙂‍↔️ #anyways whatever #shutting up now 🤐 #delete later?

[astrobei]

Something’s wrong.

It’s a quiet afternoon in Will’s room. Mike is here, and this simple fact should be taking precedence over all else. It would be, on any other day — a day where it wasn’t off-puttingly quiet outside. On any other day, it would be all he could focus on.

Not that it’s not important. Mike is here, sprawled haphazardly across him, limbs akimbo like he couldn’t even be bothered to right himself before the need to bodily press every square inch of himself up against Will’s torso suddenly overtook him. It’s endearing, is what it is, even though Mike’s feet are dangling off the side of Will’s bed — they’re getting too tall to be able to lie down like this, side by side and taking up all the room they could possibly want. He’s got his cheek pressed up against Will’s sternum, arms wrapped so tight around Will’s stomach and lower back that it’s bordering on uncomfortable.

Endearing. It’s endearing, the need for proximity. The need for closeness, for touch, for reassurance. Mike wasn’t like this before. Not to this degree, at least. Will pretended to be annoyed by it at first, but the façade hadn’t even lasted a day before he cracked. He needs it too, and they both know it — the rhythmic push and pull of Mike’s breathing. Feeling Mike’s heart beat steadily against his own, separated by a meager few inches of blood and muscle and bone. The kinesthetic weight of a body against his own, grounding him on his off days — days where his pulse is perpetually panicked and off-kilter, threatening to fly away entirely, rendered unsuccessful only by the shape of Mike’s shoulder blades under his palm. The cotton of his flannel button-down, worn soft with use.

Grounding things. Real things. Safe things.

It’s a quiet afternoon. Mike’s foot twitches, suddenly and gently against where it’s pressed up against the line of Will’s calf.

It’s a quiet afternoon, and Will feels off, down to his bones.

Mike might be falling asleep.

Will smiles, hides it in the soft curtain of Mike’s hair where it’s brushing over his neck. Cups a hand around the back of his head and wraps his other arm around his shoulder — tighter, tighter, like Mike might just get up and walk away if he doesn’t. For all his pretending, Will is like this too, now: desperate, a little needy, selfish in small, ordinary ways. Too quick to worry when a call goes unanswered. Too quick to fuss over cuts and scrapes and bruises. He hugs too tight and he kisses too hard and he gets unsettled by quiet, calm afternoons.

He wasn’t ever like that before.

Mike twitches again — so delicately that it’s almost like an afterthought — then his arms tighten around Will’s midriff.

That feels intentional. Even if it hadn’t been. Things with Mike feel intentional. Purposeful.

Even if he is — you know. Asleep, a little.

Will’s room is comfortably warm; the late summer sun has been hiding lately, and the sky isn’t blue, exactly but at least it’s not red anymore — dark and rolling and angry. It’s still, and it’s quiet, and it’s peaceful for the first time in a long time — a long time—

—and still, something’s wrong.

“Will?”

Mike shifts, just slightly, just enough to lean his head against Will’s collarbone and look up at him. He catches the edge of Mike’s expression like it’s a secret, a glimpse of wide eyes, a little confused.

Will peers down at him. “Go back to sleep.”

“I wasn’t,” Mike says, even as he blinks heavily. He rolls out his ankle, bumps it against Will’s and keeps it there, stretches long and languid, lazy, like he has all the time in the world. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Will says. If Mike stays like this, if he doesn’t look up any farther, maybe he can get away with it.

Mike doesn’t sound convinced. “You sure?” he mumbles, rubbing at his eyes with one hand and pushing himself up, just enough to be able to look at Will better. “You seemed…”

He trails off. Will tucks a stray strand of hair back behind Mike’s ear, from where it had been falling loose and down into his eyes. “I’m sure,” he murmurs. “Go back to sleep.”

“I wasn’t asleep!”

“You were,” Will laughs. “You were twitching. Like a cat.”

“I don’t twitch,” Mike insists, then pauses. “Do I?”

“Sometimes,” Will admits, then presses a kiss to the top of Mike’s head. “When you’re really tired. I think it’s cute.”

“Stop,” Mike mumbles, but he lowers his head back to Will’s chest. “So mean to me.”

“I called you cute!”

“Mean,” Mike says, sounding like he’s halfway back to sleep already as he snakes an arm back around Will’s chest, hand resting lightly on the side of his throat, just over his jaw. He tangles their legs together, the sheets going wrinkled and bunched up under them. “So mean.”

Will smiles. “Sorry,” he whispers. He glances down at the mess of black hair in front of his face, runs a careful hand through it. Again, and again, and again. Mike makes a small noise, content and pleased, and presses in closer, like he’s trying to vanquish whatever minute semblance of space might have been left between them. “I won’t be mean again.”

It’s a joke, obviously. Still, Will traces apologetic circles into Mike’s back, into the gentle dip between his shoulders. He maps out the planes there, tries to commit them to memory by touch alone, the way he can feel Mike breathe in — slow, hesitant — and then out again — faster, like he’s collapsing back into Will’s body.

The circles give way to shapes, any that Will can think of. Then lines, curved and looping around his shoulder blades, his upper arms. He trails fingers up the back of Mike’s neck, where the cotton of his shirt gives way to a more organic warmth, and scrapes his fingernails lightly against the skin there. Drops another delicate kiss to the sliver of Mike’s forehead where his hair is parted as it falls around his face.

Mike lets out another pleased noise, half-coherent and probably involuntary, and his hand twitches lightly on Will’s jaw. Will bites back a smile, and stares straight up at the ceiling.

Will was never good at this before either — taking the things he wants. Letting himself have things he wants. Something is turning over in his gut, warm and viscous and slow, with each moment of touch he lets himself have, in this newfound, selfish way — through Mike’s hair, down his arms and back up again. Over his back, his shoulders, trailing fingers up his cheeks. He rubs circles into Mike’s temples, watches his brows unfurrow — for once in his life — and his expression go slack with contentment. He wants to touch the corners of Mike’s mouth too, where they’ve turned downwards, vulnerable, half-pressed into Will’s shirt.

He does. He can.

It’s a novel thing, for him, having someone be this close. Having someone be this close just because they want to be, because they trust you.

Will doesn’t know what to make of that. He’s never felt this before, the urge to hold someone so close that all the bad things go away. The urge to touch, the urge to lie here until entropy takes them.

There are no bad things anymore, though. It’s a quiet afternoon, and it’s calm, and it’s peaceful, and—

Will stops.

His hand stills on Mike’s back.

Oh, he thinks, still looking up at the ceiling. Oh.

“Will?” Mike stirs again, and he’d definitely been right on the precipice of sleep this time, judging by the way his voice is dragging on the single syllable. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Will whispers, a little incredulously, as realization dawns upon him. He wants to laugh. He wants to cry too, a little bit. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m great.”

Mike taps a slow finger against Will’s cheek and peers carefully up at him. “What is it?

“I,” Will starts, then stops. He’ll sound ridiculous if he says it. Ridiculous and pathetic and— “Nothing,” he says anyway, despite every molecule of better judgment in his body. “I’m just— I’m happy.”

Mike pauses. “Oh,” he says simply, cheek still pressed to Will’s chest. He sounds a little caught off-guard, in a good way. “I— that’s good. That you’re happy.”

The weird feeling in Will’s gut bubbles up, up, and over. “Yeah,” he says quietly, trying to keep his voice even. “I am. You make me happy.”

At this, Mike looks up. His expression is a bit startled, like a deer in headlights. “What?”

Oh, god. Will swallows. He looks back up. “I just,” he says, “I’ve never— I’m happy. And I don’t know when— I don’t know if I’ve ever. Been this happy before, I mean. Before everything. Before—”

You, he thinks. He doesn’t say it, but it goes implied.

Mike is silent.

The weird feeling starts settling back into Will’s stomach, slow and steady like molasses. Shit. That was, objectively, probably a weird thing to say. It was, right?

Oh, god.

Will blinks, once, twice, thrice in quick succession, and keeps his stare fixed on the ceiling.

“Will,” Mike says at last, from somewhere below him. He lifts his head off of Will’s chest, tufts of black hair swimming into view. “Can you— can you look at me, please?”

Oh, god.

Will looks down. “Yeah?”

Mike looks— wondrous, maybe, which is a bit dramatic, but it’s true. “Really?” he asks, and he doesn’t sound freaked out or anything, which is a good sign, but— “I do?”

“Yeah,” Will whispers. “You do. Like, really happy.”

Happy seems a bit diminutive, if Will’s being honest. Whatever this feeling is runs much deeper than that — past contentment and comfort and satisfaction. Ease, maybe. Safety would be closer.

He doesn’t say any of that.

Mike’s cheeks flush a brilliant pink. He splays his palm across Will’s cheek and asks, in mild disbelief, “Is that what was bothering you?”

“It wasn’t bothering me,” Will says quietly, tugging at Mike’s wrist and sitting up, just slightly, leaning back against one elbow. “I’m fine.”

“You weren’t,” Mike says simply, and lets himself be moved. “I could tell. I just— I thought it was something, you know. Worse.”

“What?” Will laughs, and Mike’s expression softens in relief. “Like what?”

“I don’t know!” Mike exclaims, but he’s smiling too. “I just— I could tell, and I didn’t— I don’t know. Never mind.”

Will pushes a strand of hair behind Mike’s ear again, the same one that had been falling back out the entire time they’d been lying together. “I’m sorry if you worried,” he says quietly. “I just— I didn’t know what it was. I’ve never been this happy before.”

“Will,” Mike starts, expression earnest and searching. He opens his mouth and closes it again.

“Sorry,” Will adds, for good measure. Maybe Mike is, like, totally freaked out. “No pressure, or anything.”

“Don’t apologize,” Mike says immediately, frowning. “Never apologize. I just— I’m happy too. You make me happy. Really happy.”

“Well that’s good,” Will jokes, but it comes out halfhearted. “I should hope I’m not making you sad.”

Mike rolls his eyes. “Will.”

“Sorry,” he says on instinct, then immediately bites down on his lower lip. “I mean. Yes. Yeah.”

Mike gives him a look, exasperated and a little fond. “I mean,” he says, then leans forward, all the way back into Will’s space, “you make me happy too. I don’t know when I’ve been— me too, I mean. Me too.”

“Oh,” Will breathes out, in awe, a little bit, of a lot of things — the deepening flush across Mike’s cheek, the ease with which the admission comes tumbling out of his mouth. The simple reciprocity of it bowls him over, like maybe Mike thinks about this, when Will doesn’t know — just how happy Will makes him. “Okay.”

Mike eyes dart between his own. “That all you have to say?” he teases. “Okay?”

“What else do you want me to say?” Will asks, teasing back, a little, but also asking a little truthfully. He’s not the greatest with words, but he’s also not stupid — he understands the implications, here, of what it means to feel so happy around someone that it feels like you’re admitting to something bigger by just saying it. He knows what he’s implying, and he knows Mike is picking up on it, but he doesn’t know how to put that into words — the way his soul feels like it’s stilled inside of him, somewhere, no longer restless or jittery or perpetually keyed up.

He wonders if Mike feels like that too.

The thought, suddenly, is too much.

“Nothing,” Mike says, after a moment. He pauses, then presses a fleeting kiss to Will’s cheek. “Nothing.”

“Mike,” Will says, suddenly, then grabs a hold of Mike’s wrist again. “I— you know that I—”

He feels overwhelmed, a little frantic. He’s sure it’s coming through in his voice. The rest of the sentence hangs there, suspended in midair between the two of them.

Love you, Will thinks. I love you. I love you.

He needs Mike to know.

Mike can’t ever know.

He looks away again, like maybe Mike will be able to tell exactly what he’s thinking just by looking at him.

“Yeah,” Mike is saying. “It’s okay, Will. I know. Me too. Obviously.”

Will relaxes. Thank god for plausible deniability. “Okay,” he says instead, feeling a smile split wide and exhilarated across his face. He feels like he just ran a marathon, and it isn’t until he lies back down that he feels it. The adrenaline, sweet and thick and palpable in his veins. “Okay. Cool.”

“Cool,” Mike echoes, then settles back down on top of him. “Yeah. Cool.”

Will tucks his chin over the top of Mike’s head, running a soothing hand over Mike’s hair. His heart is beating so fast that he’s sure Mike is able to tell. “Go back to sleep,” he says quietly. Mike lets out a noise that might be a laugh, and tucks his face into Will’s neck.

It’s a quiet afternoon. Everything feels perfectly right.

#i don’t know what this is #i’ve just had a Week #and i am so tired and my head hurts and i think i’m falling sick again and basically i need someone to lie on top of me and crush me #w their body weight like a weighted blanket #bc my weighted blanket is not cutting it rn i need More #anyways. i hope u enjoy this stream of consciousness #i am so touch starved and i’m being so fr someone better do something about that bc #my ex is coming back to town in 3 weeks and if i don’t get a hug before then i will literally text him #jk i won’t but. u know #LOL #n e ways #will byers #mike wheeler #byler #fun sized fics #fic #etc #ok back to studying Bye

[fakeoutbf]

five stages of grief but it’s five stages of social anxiety

#walk with me #this morning i got a bouquet delivered to me at work randomly out of nowhere #the note basically said that i could count of the person even if for just some words of advice or a gesture that could make me laugh or mad #count on the person** #i immediately knew it’s from one of my coworkers and ngl i have a very charged?? relationship with them #in the sense that it’s very intense and we can be laughing joking and teasing or we can be really angry and pissed with each other #it can have very extreme emotions even if we just chill most of the time #idk why i think this whole year i’ve been leaning on them more?? and we started texting more often too #so we’ve been more properly friends lately #and for one i was SO EMBARRASSED for getting flowers bc my coworkers tease the shit out of everyone myself included and i’m not used to #gestures like that so obviously they were on my ass all day about it #and everyone asked about them and it’s EMBARRASSING to get that much attention #(me: i wanna be a singer / also me: can’t stand to be the center of attention) #anyway the person that sent them avoided me yesterday out of nowhere??? idk if they thought i was mad bc i didn’t reply to their texts all #weekend but i literally never reply to anyone and pms was a bitch and i just wanted to be alone #so they didn’t talk to me on monday i was mostly just working listening to music bc i was still emotional whatever #and today i did talk to my other coworkers bc it’s the day when my favorite coworker comes in and i talk to them a lot so i engaged more #and they were still ignoring me and then the flowers came in and we didn’t say a single word to each other today we just texted #they told me they sent them and that ‘they forgot’ what they sent and that it was just meant to be a nice gesture #and that bc they wanted to ‘surprise’ me and make me feel better bc i said i was sad at one point?? idek #i literally just want to tell them I HAD PMS ITS FINE I FEEL SUICIDAL ALL THE TIME and move on #bc now i’m second guessing everything they’re saying bc i thought we were friends and there’s no reason why friends can’t send each other #flowers or whatever but they’ve been avoiding me and then they keep answering my texts really weirdly and i always misinterpret flirting bc #i’m never outright romantic with anyone?? plus we’re FRIENDS i should have no reason to think that’s changed #but they’re being so weird and why get me FLOWERS??? idk get me a chocolate or a coffee i don’t NEED flowers #and then i said it was random to give me flowers out of nowhere and they’re like no it’s serious bro what’s serious?????? #your feelings towards me?? or just your will to cheer me up??? #if they don’t reply straight up in their next texts i’m gonna flat out say but it was a platonic gesture right??? #so yeah i’m overthink getting flowers bc what’s the social code for that and what is one supposed to do when they get flowers from a friend #delivered to their joint workplace where everyone can see them and think they’re from a partner or something

[crystallizsch]

hi ian i come bearing angst fuel for the yuusha as twsted elsa (maybe an idea for her possible overblot idk she kinda reads to me as someone whod preemptively isolate in the case she feels...blotty)

(also seeing that art of her playing violin totally didnt fuck me up im still nursing my bruised heart 🥴🥴💕💕)

https://youtu.be/NDldNaEZTt8?si=Wm71pgTltuJLjFvk

^^this is from the frozen musical where they gave a song to elsa to explore her emotional turmoil and it just fleshed out her character so much more than the orig movie (ok i havent seen frozen 2 oops) but just this section here:

Is everyone in danger as long as I'm alive?

Was I a monster from the start?

How did I end up with this frozen heart?

Bringing destruction to the stage

Caught in a war that I was never meant to wage

anyways lmao i jus think the song is neat i think yuushas neat (i wanna see more of her ahehehe i love seeing infodumps abt ur yuus)

-diodellet

(throwback to this “what if yuu had magic” ask where i had a ✨realization✨ and this more recent yuusha lore drop that i gave zero elaboration on 🙃)

very rough ob yuu design??? idk i came up with it on the spot ;;; and it’s kinda based on disney’s concept art of elsa when she was supposed to be the villain.

evil ice queen vibes :3

also i know the ob monster is supposed to be based on the villain— which is elsa in this case— but lowkey. an ice monster is way cooler.

also also i just realized after i drew this i couldve done a grim/yuu tandem overblot ough 🤧🤧 (next time I'll do that instead if i ever go back to this concept)

(read more below because it got SO long)

AAH anyways hi hi dio!!! when i saw your ask i went —

— with this entire post

AAGH HOW MANY MORE UNINTENTIONAL CONNECTIONS ARE GOING TO BE BETWEEN FROZEN AND YUUSHA

i guess watching the movie everyday when it came out when you’re like 9 does something to your brain chemistry (and still haunts you at least a decade later) 💀

but anyways the angst ;;; overblot yuu ;;;;; my brain is rotting and the worms have taken over

also i didn’t even know that there was a frozen broadway musical so im gonna have to check it out later 🏃💨💨💨

(also dont worry frozen 2 is a nice watch for the most part but the way they concluded the characters did not feel 100% satisfying to me 😭 BUT i love some of the songs tho ;;; kristoff’s goofy 80s ballad song is one of them specifically, i need everyone to listen to it)

hfgnnfhfgv anyways thank you so much i’m chugging that angst fuel as i expand more on a possible ob yuusha with another infodump 💪💪💪

⚠️⚠️⚠️ ALSO IM SORRY BUT mentions of taking one’s own life so please proceed with caution ⚠️⚠️⚠️

i had to reread what my initial thoughts about it bc it was months ago??? and after rereading im just like, huh what was i on— (just that feeling when you just cringe at your old posts ;; but idk i think the insanity/cringe sometimes can loop back into being a genius and the cycle just continues)

anyways i’ve been on and off writing yuusha’s bio and overblot yuu was just at the back of my mind chilling but i didn’t really do anything with it.

but now that i have the opportunity,,,, im gonna go on the magicless route this time bc i feel like I've said all what i thought if it was an overblot due to her own magic.

so uh from what i gather overblots are a mix of overuse of magic + intense negative emotion.

since it’s magicless yuu, i guess the one of the general headcanons around the fandom is that they’ve been too exposed to overblots and then intense negative emotions suddenly just triggered their overblot.

uh anyways onto the elsa parts

Is everyone in danger as long as I'm alive? Was I a monster from the start? How did I end up with this frozen heart? Bringing destruction to the stage Caught in a war that I was never meant to wage

THE LYRICS ARE SO GOOD ;;; i really love how some broadway interpretations expand on the source material

and yeah you're right 🤧🤧🤧— yuusha would try to hide and escape, especially as she overblots bc she would try to avoid hurting people (and like elsa, it'd only hurt others more trying to escape bc of probably how she leaves destruction in her wake trying to make others stay away from her 😔)

(this is a small tangent but i remember thinking about an overblot kalim and i imagine him to be similar, like he would not hurt anyone intentionally in his overblot.)

anyways so the way it would go is that i imagine her friends got fatally injured either because a) she feels that she’s too “useless” without magic to help and wasn’t able to do anything OR b) her attempts at helping to try and prove that she can help without magic made everything worse.

and then she just goes into a guilty spiral then boom — overblot.

ALSO in the song, the way elsa briefly contemplated taking her own life but then realizing there’s no guarantee that would solve anything hnghgh (<- another unintentional parallel to my yuusha lore because that’s actually how she ended up in twst except she did NOT have the latter realization)

there’s this “yuu is dead” theory i’m just using and that the black carriage actually just caught yuusha’s soul after she took her own life from all the burden.

also some bonus angst context for that violin post :3

yuusha back in her homeworld is raised and known to be a gifted musician. people can feel the life and soul in her music but when people interact with her, they are usually met with an ice-cold (heh) personality.

the dead family member was the one who taught her music and the only one who was kind to her.

there’s always an expectation from her family to perform well and to keep up appearances as to not be a humiliation since anything she does can reflect on her entire family. (also hi, slight yuusha/jamil parallels maybe???)

the way she presents herself also stemmed from an incident as a child when she went apeshit on another kid bc she was defending a friend.

so from then on she was taught taught to conceal don’t feel those emotions — which just unfortunately extended to any positive ones, not just negative ones like rage.

so when she is brought to twst, there’s no memory of her being forced to hold back her emotions so she’s just unapologetically affectionate and open with everyone bc that’s how she really is.

but every now and then, memories of her breaking down haunt her in her dreams or as subtle reminders in the waking world.

then yuusha just goes on her day like she just wasn't reminded of her past.

(unnecessarily tragic lore my beloved, but anyway—)

another extremely brief tangent and bonus -> the two songs i had on loop while drawing pre-twst yuusha

lindsey stirling my beloved i love her music

the songs are such a vibe

her instrumentals in “lose you now” especially makes me feel some sort of way 😖

#AHH THIS IS /SO/ LONG #THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN IM GIVEN THE CHANCE TO RAMBLE #but thank you for the ask dio!! 🤧🤧 #it makes me so happy to hear you like yuusha 😭💕💕 #this also took a bit because i needed to like #actually turn all these thoughts into actual coherent words #and for them to actually. make sense together. #idk im proofreading this myself during the gamer hours of midnight hfdjslkf #i sure /hope/ they do make sense for the most part because this is pure massive brain vomit #[— #(💜) yuusha #✦ asks #★ my art #☆ oc rambles #—] #at this point too i’m sticking to the twst elsa concept #it just felt weird admitting it bc i have a history with this movie and its fandom in general #kids would ask you “whos your favorite disney princess it cant be elsa” bc everyone would pick her so i'd have to pick another </3 #she was too famous and therefore too obvious and basic #not to mention “let it go” was EVERYWHERE and it did become annoying at one point 😭 #the fandom around frozen back then was v questionable too ngl and i was also in that hole for a bit so it's just /ack/ #but rewatching the movie i realize how elsa kinda speaks to me hgjkdsjfaljsd #i could lowkey highkey rant more about her but anyways #imma be an elsa defender and apologist for as long as i am able

[pogasm]

i’m like a schrodingers queer where im every queer gender and sexuality at once but also at the same time i’m cishet

#theres two wolves in me one is superstraight the other is supergay #so like. that’s y i dont rlly click w labels bc all of them fit me?? idk #like i’m bi and pan but also a male lesbian enby and im definitely aspec #i don’t spend my time thinking about my labels bc tbh i have bigger fish to fry in my life. i just put up the pride flag and call it a day #so people usually assign me labels based on what kind of attraction i show? so like. basically irl people read me as a cross between- #- a butch lesbian and a gay man. which is sooooooo me #anyways i jst felt like dumping out my feelings i dont rlly care for concrete labels #also i feel like my sexuality/gender changes over time bc i’m been bi and a lesbian and nonbinary and transmasc and all of them fit but also #they kinda don’t? #and i’m a v radical person so queer love to me isn’t about labels but about doing who makes u happy #and if it takes one man or eight nonbinary people two bigenders to get me there idrc… jst as long as thé love and happiness is there

[what-the-fuck-khr]

GOOD NEWS EVERYBODY IM BACK I HAVE ANSWERS so we looked at my teeth etc and I’m not gonna die of sepsis bc despite all the shit my toothache caused me there’s no infection. so what was it, Bronwyn? good question!

wisdom teeth

#LMFAO #my wisdom teeth are……… so poorly angled. 100% impact on all four #and the left one is tryna make moves so it’s swelling my gums which is raising my molar #and jacking up my bite while the tooth is sensitive in sensitive gums #¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #so he suggested just. get rid of them. take the wisdom teeth out. all 4 bc of the possible impact from them #and if I didn’t I’d just periodically have this crazy ass pain come and go and come and go and fuck THAT so. removal it is #👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 #I have no idea what that’s gonna cost lmfao so we’ll…. we’ll see #and today basically the pain hasn’t been nearly as severe. the swelling has gone down significantly. so I think the pain/problem is #subsiding for a bit. I hope. lol. so they’re referring me to the dental hospital teehee #and then we did a clean of my teeth bc I have crazy plaque buildup and thus bacteria and thus making the issue worse. apparently. so #which isn’t a surprise. depression and adhd means I don’t brush my teeth as often as I should. and floss is scary #while doing that he seemed to have no problems with any of my fillings so I assume they’re fine atm too #all those side effects bc my wisdom tooth wants to play up…….. attention seeker #also between that molar and the gums where the wisdom tooth is. there’s a pocket. apparently. and stuff is getting stuck in there apparently #a pocket……. head in hands. and obviously that’s difficult to clean so that’s also bothering my gums and thus my tooth. GOD #ooc #anyways that’s the dentist update. tldr; I’m fucking fine it’s just wisdom teeth fucking it all up

[why-the-heck-not]

hate hate hate the feeling of turning in a part of an assignment and being hella embarrased abt how it is :3 like, feeling someone’s just gonna email me like ”hey?? what the fuck ??? what are u doing here this is garbage” like yeah dude i dont know what to tell you, things did not go well this week

#doing one that’s like a bigger thing but has weekly deadlines #and this week hasn’t been good for that so it’s like very fucking pathetic of how little I got done #and it’s all basically shit anyways like i know it doesn’t work and won’t work with the way I’m going about it #also I’m only submitting the previous version bc i don’t even fuckin know what’s going on with this current one #like the code’s all bad and all over the place and I have no clue where i’m trying to go with it #so it’s like i basically didn’t get shit done this week #only made myself more confused #i need to take a step back and like really fuckin think what I’m going to do with this bc it’ll just get worse if I just keep trying to go #with this shitty thing i have on my hands rn #and also im like over an hour late already bc gotta write a weekly report and idk what the fuck to say like #’’oops sorry dude it’s shit rn i have no clue what’s going on but also dont have anything i could ask help with bc im too confused so it’s #just uhh this thing now; a mess <3’’ #the way i’ve been handling this course like ?? uh oh will i ever have the audacity to step a foot to my campus ever again lol #yes im now writing this to procrastinate writing that weekly report thing #ughhh yes im hella positive rn all is shit #(also there was parliamentary election today and it didn’t end well so that might be why everything feels 5x more shitty rn) #april 2023 #2023

[topflights]

wrestling is so weird. like. these aren’t real people. but they ARE real people. but they’re not. sometimes they use their real names, sometimes they act like themselves, but they’re still CHARACTERS, despite using the same name and acting like themselves and generally just being a person. but then you have people that act like they’re demons or gods or aliens and like. they’re considered just as normal and average and they’re just tossed into a ring with ppl that are Just Dudes, and sometimes the Just Dudes WIN!!!

sometimes it’s so hard to be like “hey this is a character, this isn’t a real person” when you see like. dante martin or jon moxley or toni storm or jamie hayter or somebody that’s just a Person. but then they go up against malakai black or danhausen or abadon or alien gimmick kris statlander and it’s like oh yeah, that’s right, this is all very much a story telling experience that’s being acted out for my entertainment and i LOVE that. i can’t get that kind of experience anywhere else. thats such a pro wrestling specific emotion to feel and i love it so much. kayfabe is so fun.

#note that this isn’t me insinuating that kayfabe can’t be broken #i think it’s totally fine for ppl to break kayfabe. i was JUST praising the bucks for breaking kayfabe on bte this week #bc it gave the video a somuch more authentic feel bc it WAS authentic. #at least more authentic than usual. sometimes it’s nice to see the people that play our favorite kayfabe people #the person behind the character is still important #even if i usually don’t partake in a ton of out of kayfabe content just bc i rlly enjoy the stories and characters #i don’t usually talk out of kayfabe. i’m a very in kayfabe person. but i love and appreciate that wrestlers aren’t forced #to maintain their characters at all times anymore. sometimes i DO wanna know what wrestlers think. and it’s very nice especially in times #like this where they can use their influence for good and offer their support for causes they care but #even if their character wouldn’t necessarily do that #anyways. i have a lot of feelings and opinions abt kayfabe but it basically boils down to. #let people enjoy kayfabe. but let wrestlers be people. respect people that enjoy and get invested in kayfabe #but also don’t harass wrestlers that like having a separate out of the ring persona where they can be more themselves #astra talks

[puppydoggraham]

If I don’t write the silliest little hannigram fics I will DIE

#my fics #hannigram #hannigram fics #this one is SO CUTE #I hope my motivation doesn’t die off🙁 #bc this one is SO CUTE TO ME #I’m planning it rn #basically they have to go somewhere as assigned by Jack #and end up far away so they need to stay in a hotel #and soooo it’s a bit of a only one bed type situation #AND ANDANDHSHS #(this is what started the idea) #I imagined them at an indoor waterpark together bc I love those and always have #so anyways they discover it and decide to go #(when they should be doing shit for the fbi mind you) #and will notices how hot Hannibal is #bc yk his shirt is off and shit #anyways stopping there you’ll have to read it and see what transpires🤭 #🏨🌊

[meat-loving-meat]

I want to write a Vanyel/Stefen modern-with-magic AU soooo bad but I don’t know Valdemar lore like at all. There are six books standing between me and feeling comfortable enough in the lore to imagine what Valdemar might look like with the internet and planes

#anyway I have unhinged ideas about what modern Valdemar #like. I’m imagining Valdemar as a prosperous #happy country with a high level of social development and technology #public transit everywhere. universal basic income/free high quality healthcare/etc #like. not utopian. not by a long shot. #but overall doing well (at least in comparison to some of the other countries on Velgarth) #HOWEVER they are having this really divisive cultural moment about Heralds and the King #bc they’re basically appointed by a completely unaccountable higher power? and they have so much direct influence and control over #the life of an average person??? why should that be allowed? #so there’s a movement for direct democracy which is very successful at a local level #and is slowly making its way into higher levels of the government #and there’s suddenly intense scrutiny on the heralds. so when Vanyel gets caught up in a series of scandals it does a LOT of damage to #the institution of the heralds. but Vanyel is very very important to the security of the world #bc he successfully prevented the detonation of a nuclear weapon a few years earlier so he’s sort of the only thing standing between #the world and nuclear war #anyway I think that setting is way too dramatic for a weird gay fanfiction. so I’m workshopping it #vanyel ashkevron #last herald mage #gay herald in a squirrel suit

[lifeofcynch]

it really is a weird feeling when you’ve had a specific opinion for like years and only recently start to be like ‘hm is this worth it? is this really the hill i want to die on?’

#ramblings #and then your online persona is forever muddied by it #yes this is about my anti-SJW transmed phase lol #my view now is basically that people can do what they want with their bodies and idc if you’re dysphoric or not bodily autonomy is a right #and also i was very ignorant on a lot of issues #and like it’s so embarrassing to turn around after believing something so strongly for YEARS but i was going down a slippery fucking slope #like straight up believing certain things that are white supremacist propaganda #i surrounded myself with some people that were straight up conservative grown ass adults #and now like half the website has me blocked and i can’t exactly blame them i was an edgelord #also i had pointless debates that did nothing but make my anxiety worse #bc my bad takes came back and bit me in the ass #if you ever saw the cop post no you didn’t #omg sorry for going off in the tags but i’ve been thinking about this stuff a lot #i’m going through changes man #anyway social justice is good actually

[food-lover9000]

I think this is the time where I go back and try to research the fics of past and see what I liked about them and how they did things so I can try to know how to write yummy yummy fics slightly more then I currently do

#i feel like one of those people who grew up not having learnt to cook at all and suddenly needing the ability to cook #like for the sake of basic life skills and having to learn from scratch how to make things taste the way the yummy homecooked meals #that they are used to eating and like struggling immensely #writing fics for myself feels so different from what I have been used to all throughout my education and I am currently drowning #I am drowning and hopefully I’ll figure out how to float soon #anyways I’m tired and actually have no idea what I’m doing rn and probably won’t have the time anyway so oh well ig #i’ll just suffer with my thoughts #(also this is all bc I want to write abt being pet by Clarence so umm I- I’ll just leave and rest until my ailment cures on its own 😭) #anyways I have no clue what I am doing or talking abt and I wonder how I will react tmr morning when I may or may not read this #DJSNDBSBHENDANXHSBDHJEFHSBDJW

[starlooove]

Ok but the Duke in my mind having the feeling that those who choose vigilantism have a responsibility to uphold the SECOND they curate a space where others are reliant on them + Cass solely wanting to fight at first and putting the mission above all else due to not caring about herself being Bruces (who also puts the mission above all else and feels a responsibility to Gotham that he knows will kill him one day) favorite kids

#is it rlly that they’re his faves bc of being the ‘good ones’ #or do they reflect parts of himself that he’s constantly told are detrimental in a way that allows him to take pride in said parts #taking HEAVY liberties with canon btw this is basically a hc to me do not take it seriously this is NOT srs character analysis thx #I mean it’s kinda serious in MY mind but it’s purely based in being tired of fandom and not actually comics 💀 #this is my version of the ‘Everyone treats tim badly so he is sad till they’re sorry’ thing #anyways #BONUS #Bruce is so mean to damian bc he reflects him in ways he doesn’t like #and he’s projecting his failures onto him instead of seeing him as a fucking child #thinking of that one panel #yknow the one #anyways everytime damian does smth he doesn’t like he sees it as the Batman failing on a moral standpoint #not his kid having his own personality or needing some guidance #whatever tho #I’m deleting this tomorrow but if I ever learn how to write #imma make my own sad tim fic where it’s just tim wallowing over nothing and everyone ignoring him <3 #for my piece of mind #I promise I like Tim guys this is abt fanon Tim #but yknow what writers are riding tim too much atm tbh so this is current tim hate as well #Tim was cooler when he was well adjusted and bitchy and everyone knew it #instead of pretending he’s right all the time and every1 just went “ofc Tim! #ALSO I’m a big fan of great dad Bruce I just know him kinda sucking is also canon and fun for angst

[wander-wren]

i just came to the realization that i can’t play video games by myself.

no, that’s not the realization. i knew that already.

i can’t play video games by myself because i have siblings.

three of them, a set of twins and a stepsister less than a year older than them. they’re all ~3 years younger than me, so of course when i’m 10, 11, 12 and they’re getting their first tablets and starting to play mobile games, they’re sticking together and i don’t have shit to do but play with them. and our big one was minecraft, obviously, but we also played a ton of single-player games just…in the same room, commentating. complaining when we lost a level, sharing strategies and shit.

my sisters and i aren’t close, i don’t think. we’re very different people, even if we’re similar in a few specific ways. different interests, friends, a bigger world beyond our house. jobs and college and a propensity for fighting.

they still play hay day together. i don’t, since i’ve been away at school, and even now that i’m not it feels wrong to insert myself. i still have it on my phone, though, and occasionally one of my sisters asks if i have cookies.

sometimes i redownload old mobile games that are kind of shit, either because they got abandoned in 2015 or they’ve gotten so overrun with ads and pay-to-play there’s practically no game at all. the nostalgia is fun for a little bit, but i never keep them long.

i just cant play games by myself. i don’t have anyone to talk to.

#bird noises #tell me your childhood mobile games gang #why did this turn poetic i dont know #just musing you know #anyway i still remember all our games bc this phase lasted until i left for college basically #it just got less and less over years #and we basically cycled through the same dozen mobile games over and over #and the wii. we played a lot of mario kart together lmao #i’m being so real though i cant play games alone #just considered picking up stardew valley again and remembered i quit bc i got bored #and couldnt figure out what to Do strategy/play style wise #usually decisions i would make based on how my sisters played #so you know #shrug emoji

[angelnumber27]

#no literally #me as a child #all the neighborhood kids were boys and we would play outside #I’d watch them playing football with their shirts off and just take mine off too bc I’m like ya bro we soon sports! no shirts!!! #and I remember not getting in trouble but basically just getting a sweetie you can’t do that you’re not a boy #I was like what the fuxk you MEAN I can’t do that?????!!!?!!?? #I was devastated #LOL #quenlin blackwell #but like who tf cared I didn’t have tiddies like I didn’t get it #I bet that looked so funny to the neighbors like me and 7 boys playin fuckin wiffle ball all without shirts #ITS HOT AFFFFF HERE BITCH IT WASNT FAIR #anyways… #upload #video