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#bbc robin hood memes
let-djaqsayfuck · 2 years
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“he’s my little scrunkly a miserable sopping wet little dude he’s the worst” except here in the RH fandom we really mean it
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Months later and I am still thinking about it.
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I'm screaming again like this is sending me back to that episode of robin hood where they're stuck in the tree after getting engaged and she freaking leaves him to go with Gisborne like it's the same vibes lol
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gloriousclio · 8 months
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First lines & last lines
First lines & last lines
rules: go to your last 5 fics and share the first and last line with no context :)
Thanks to @tintagel-or-cockleshells for the tag! I'm excited to do this one.
1.
First: She was already working when Carlist Rieekan arrived at Haven, the cold of Hoth seemed to roll off the snowsuit he still wore.
Last: “Hurry, Leia.” And though she didn’t really believe what she was saying, she added: “May the Force be with you.” 
from Haven Star Wars
2.
First: It was rare for Queen Breha to send physical items by diplomatic carrier, so when an attendant arrived at the Alderaani Embassy on Coruscant, Leia almost called it in as a bomb threat.
Last: She could at least try to figure out what the aspiring politician wasn’t saying. 
from In the Braid Star Wars
3.
First: The bars creaked loudly as they opened, and Guy threw her roughly into the cell.
Last: Then on to the woods, with her Nightwatchman mask under her arm, just in case.
from Marian is waiting with a glory in her eyes Robin Hood BBC
4.
First: "Ready?"
Last: Abed nodded. “Cool. Cool cool cool.” 
from ...And a Movie Community
5.
First: The worst part of Ben getting sick was helping a toddler while he was sick.
Last: But she came back, and Han could wrap his arms around her once more.
from Crash & Burn Star Wars
Tagging @khaleesa for this one!! <3
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damngoodbabysiitter · 2 years
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make me choose meme - Anonymous asked: Robin or Guy
“War is here, it’s right here in the forest. He was an ordinary Englishman, he tilled the fields, he loved his wife, he cared for his children. […] Then he was forced to go to the Holy Land to fight. Look at him, a pitiful shadow of a man. Every day good men like Harold are destroyed out there. Only peace can put a stop to this.”
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xxsircharlesxx · 1 year
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So uhh, this is my account, here’s some stuff :)
I like:
•Hannibal (high hyperfixation)
•The Hobbit (high hyperfixation)
•Good Omens
•Castlevania (Netflix series)
•Sherlock (TV series, but the RDJ films are also cool)
•Markiplier
•What we do in the Shadows (wwdits)
•Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
•Avengers (mcu)
•Fav actors: Richard Armitage, Pedro Pascal, Micheal Sheen and David Tennant, Mads Mikkelsen, Hugh Dancy
•Hoizer, Artic Monkeys, Editors, Måneskin, Girl in Red, Judas Priest, Dixon Dallas
•I ship Johnlock, Azicrow, Hannigram and Bagginshield- currently bagginshield and hannigram more due to the hyperfixation
And some other stuff but this comes to mind first :)
——————
This space is for theories, headcannons, and possibly fanart- and maybe memes along the way and more, depending what I pick up along the way. I don’t mind who I chat with on here as long as people aren’t being mean or something idk. I also want this to be a safe space for people so if there’s like problems I will block anyone being mean and stuff like that.
Enjoy your morning/afternoon/evening/night :)
My Fics:
The Hobbit:
Stress Baking: Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Chapters 1/1. (28/12/22) Summary- When Bilbo’s stressed, he bakes- that should explain enough.
Silly little Bagginshield one-shots: Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Chapters 3/?. Summary- Literally what the title says. These are just a cluster of one-shots that are random af but I didn't know what to do with them. So here came this. (15/07/23)
Sherlock:
BBC Sherlock group chats: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Chapters 4/?. Summary- Just group chats between characters talking about whatever really. (12/02/23)
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sailorbadger · 1 year
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re: my tags on this post, @psychicbluebirdmiracle wanted a list so here’s some of my favorite Robin Hood adaptations in no particular order:
Sidenote: most of these are either extremely niche and/or “you may think it’s bad but I think it’s good” because that’s just what my tastes are.
BBC’s Robin Hood: You all knew this one was going to be up here and if you didn’t, you haven’t been following me long enough. This is what gave birth to my brain worms. I’ve given a PowerPoint presentation about this which was three hours long. I have subjected other people to this show to the point that there is now a yearly celebration where we watch only one specific episode of this show and make memes about it. I am insufferable about this. The day I stop thinking about this show is the day I have lost all brain activity.
Back to Sherwood: I am once again reminding everyone that I have offered to exchange my firstborn child for the original English version of this show. The Vibes on this show are perfect and I will never forgive the people that cancelled it after only 13 episodes. Fun time-travel related hijinks? Sign me up.
Princess of Thieves: Who doesn’t love a Keira Knightley movie?
Disney’s Robin Hood: Listen, you just can’t go wrong with this one. Very solid all around. But there’s another reason I’m putting it on this list. My cousins (ages 6 and 4) were staying over with us on Easter and I put this movie on at one point to get them to sit down for a few minutes while my parents made lunch. My godson (the 6-year-old) asked me why I knew so much about what was going on in the movie and I explained that I watched it when I was young, and then my dad said that the movie is so old that he watched it when he was a child. It was a lovely inter-generational bonding moment over my special interest as my dad explained to my cousin about the different characters and how there’s a lot of different versions of the story.
Not really an adaptation but continuing from the last one, this YouTube video: Some of the best analysis on why most mainstream Robin Hood adaptations suck. This is why I mostly just like the versions that have good Vibes.
This soundtrack to a Swedish Robin Hood musical: I can’t even begin to explain how upset I am that I found out about this musical after it had already been cancelled due to the pandemic. I could have gone and seen it. There’s not even a DVD of it. At least we have the soundtrack which is full of bangers. Everything sounds as over-produced as you’d expect from the country that makes over-produced Eurovision songs, and I love every second of this. If you’re not going to listen to the whole thing, at least listen to Prince John’s song.
This even more obscure soundtrack to a Finnish Robin Hood play from 1997: Everything here is just Vibes. I wish I knew what the actual plot of the play was but these songs are great on their own. The fact that the singer from a famous Finnish band (Neon 2) sings a couple of the songs is just ?????A Choice???? but a perfect one at that.
Robin Hood: The Great Escape: My most vivid memories of listening to this play that’s a podcast is when my IBS was really bad and I was on the bathroom floor crying in pain, so I just put this on to distract me. Anyway, this one has good characters, interesting mix of different cultures and LGBT+ representation, and it all works seamlessly in a way that doesn’t feel forced. Definitely worth a listen.
Robin McKinley’s The Outlaws of Sherwood: I bought this book from my local library’s clearance about 15 years ago. It’s a solid fun adventure and that’s pretty much all I can say about it.
The Finnish opera adaptation of Robin Hood: The dogs in this are nightmare fuel and the whole thing is bordering on the “so bad it’s good” line. The lyrics are so weird at times, it’s awfully cringy sometimes but I love it so much. I own it on DVD and it has English subtitles so if anyone wants to watch it sometime let me know.
Carrie Vaughn’s The Ghosts of Sherwood and The Heirs of Locksley: I need a third part of this. These are a quick read, about 100 pages each, about the children of Robin Hood. And although the premise may sound cliché and childish, I swear these are so good and worth your time.
C.K. Brooke’s Marian: Princess Thief: Ah, yes, the “disappointingly heterosexual” one. Putting aside the fact that this book missed a great opportunity in making at least one of the characters gay, it has an amazing all-female-cast of characters (there’s a male love interest there too I guess, I don’t care about him). This book made me feel like how Sailor Moon made me feel in high school with it’s focus on the Power of Friendship.
That one Finnish audio drama that’s based on Finnemore’s version: Everyone sounds so horny in this one for some reason and the actual text is not helping. The theme song is a banger. It’s a shame the CDs were copy protected so I couldn’t rip the files for myself.
A black-and-white recording of a Finnish play from 1971: The fashion is so 70s it hurts my eyes. The songs are so bad. The plot is almost non-existent but I love every second of this. (I would have linked it but you can unfortunately only watch it in Finland)
The 2009 movie with a dragon in it?????: I don’t remember most of this except that it’s definitely in the “so bad it’s good” category. They just shouldn’t make high-budget versions of Robin Hood when low-budget productions are so much more entertaining.
Edale Lane’s Heart of Sherwood: I need to re-read this one because it had everything I could have asked for. A lesbian Robin Hood with a good story that was a fun adventure which still somehow made me very emotional. 10/10.
That one zoom-play on YouTube: I bought the novel that was made based on this play just because this was so entertaining. In a year I’ve only read about 20 pages of the book but the play was so good and at one point so full of twists I was staring at the screen with my mouth open for like 10 minutes.
I could probably include even more things from my List (I have a list where I collect all the different versions I’ve seen/read/listened to etc), but this is already too long and I ended up taking a few things out. I only included versions I’ve enjoyed the most but there’s still plenty of good ones out there.
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phoenixflames12 · 1 year
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Get to know me better meme
I was tagged by the lovely @rhaill- thank you so much!
3 ships: John Bridgens/Henry Peglar, Lyra Belacqua/Will Parry, Siegfried Farnon/Audrey Hall
First ever ship: Either Will/Djaq from BBC Robin Hood or Harry/Ginny from the book series that we won’t mention (I was young and niave, please don’t come at me with pitchforks)
Last song: Still Holding My Hand from the film version of Matilda the Musical
Last movie: Matilda the Musical: The Movie
Currently reading: Just finished Pretty Young Rebel: A Biography of Flora Macdonald by Flora Fraser and checked out Our Woman in Moscow by Beatriz Williams from the library this morning
Currently watching: Series 3 of The BBC adaption of His Dark Materials
Currently consuming: Dairy Milk Giant Chocolate Buttons and copius amounts of Lapsang Susoung tea
Currently craving: Nothing at the moment, I am quite all right!
I will no pressure tag: @fairytalesandfandoms, @crushermyheart, @cxsmicduck and @starsreside. Only if you want to, of course!
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sunshineraccoon · 1 year
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Tag 9 people you want to get to know better meme time. Tagged by @mercedesrollinballer
1. Three Ships: at the moment I'm gonna say Avatrice (Warrior Nun), Tanthamore (Willow), and Moiraine/Siuan (Wheel of Time)
2. First Ever Ship: I'm pretty sure it was Robin and Marian from the BBC Robin Hood show
3. Last Song: I was most recently listening to the Over the Moon soundtrack with my nephew (but before that it was If Only from the Descendants, on a Kit Tanthalos playlist)
4. Last Movie: just watched the Solo movie for Erin Kellyman
5. Currently Reading: doing the audiobook for A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (mostly cuz it's my friend's fave book, but also partially cuz of ALOTO)
6. Currently Watching: at this exact moment the Falcon Winter Soldier show (for Erin Kellyman), but I've got a few other shows in rotation at the moment - Leverage Redemption, Person of Interest, umpteenth rewatch of Warrior Nun, The Muppet Show
7. Currently Consuming: if this is referring to food i just ate a full bag of microwave popcorn
8. Currently Craving: mango
Tagging (no pressure, also this isn't 9 but whatevs): @ukulele-hero @the-ominous-owl @fleetwood-mac-andcheese @badwolf92 @nivalingreenhow
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bellenotthebeast · 2 years
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Hello 😊
Welcome to my account. It’s a bunch of nonsense and memes.
I don’t bite so feel free to message :)
I am safe to talk to or vent to about whatever. Just be sure to let me know before you vent to me, okay? 🧷
About me:
I’m a INFJ lesbian who goes by She/Her
Age: 18+ (But my account is open everyone😊)
My favourite films are:
The Labyrinth
The Mummy
Stardust
Ever After, A Cinderella story.
10 things I hate about you
Princess Bride
13 going on 30
The Addams Family 1991
Nanny McPhee
Scooby Doo! (Live action)
The Last Mimzy (Massively underrated)
Fantastic Mr Fox
Hocus Pocus
Wall-E
Beauty and the beast
Robin Hood (Disney)
Aristocats
Enchanted
Into The Spider-Verse
Kingsman
Detective Pikachu
Matilda (I don’t know if I want to be adopted by Miss Honey or marry her-)
Mirror Mirror (Fav Snow White ever)
Everything Everywhere All At Once (Made me cry sm, but for good reasons)
Gunpowder milkshake (my gayness was through the roof. It’s such an underrated film)
Baby Driver!!!
The Hobbit and Lord of the rings.
I love stop motion/animated movies. They are so stunning 🥰
My favourite TV shows:
Dr Who (Has been for like 75% of my life, not joking)
Sarah Jane Adventures
Bones
Criminal Minds
Supernatural
Sherlock (yes. I’m a superwholock-)
Good Omens
Series of unfortunate events
Castle
Merlin
Stranger Things
Julie and The Phantoms
The Repair Shop (Yes the one on BBC. It’s satisfying.)
BBC Ghosts
Horrible Histories🐀
LOCKWOOD & Co!!!
I read a lot of books so I thought I’d also put down my favourite books as well:
A Good Girls Guide To Murder Book Series by Holly Jackson
Wonderland by Juno Dawson
Twisted Tale series by Elizabeth J. Braswell, Jen Calonita and Elizabeth Lim
And that’s only to name a few. I feel like this will be a long ass list if I listed every book I liked.
I would list my favourite songs but my favourite genre of songs fluctuates too much. In fact I don’t think I have a favourite genre of songs I just listen to a song and I like it. So my list of songs would somehow be longer than my list of books.
Random facts:
My favourite flowers are snow drops, sweet peas and daisies. But snow drops specifically.
I love the colour Burgandy, Alice Blue and Yellow (Preferably a warm pastel)
I despise J.K Rowling but unfortunately she is responsible for an amazing universe 😒
But jokes on her because I’m a Marauders fan so I’m a Ravenclaw (still salty that they changed the colours and mascot in the movie. And now all of the merch is wrong 😑)
I really love The Execution of Lady Jane Grey painting by Paul Delarouche and would love to see it in person.
If you start talking about my favourite shows, films, books or games I will not apologise for the long ass rant I will do, so be prepared to listen 😤
Which brings me on to my next point. If you want me to shut up. Just put on a movie I like (preferably something animated or stop motioned) because I will stop and just stare in wonder like a fucking child.
Remember to hydrate and try to eat something (even if it’s something small, don’t force yourself)
Bye 👋
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melt-the-stars · 5 months
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get to know me meme! tagged by @freloux :D
three ships: I will, forever and ever, love Castle/Beckett and Twelve/Clara. Those were probably two of my most formative ships, especially in terms of writing. I also recently developed an obsession a love of Cory from The Morning Show, which has led to shipping Cory/Bradley. (Mostly on account of Billy Crudup, his stupid face, his phenomenal acting, and the fact that I just want Cory to be happy good god, but we will not discuss that now.)
first ship: It's probably close between The Phantom/Christine from Phantom of the Opera and Guy/Marian from the BBC Robin Hood. I truly can't remember which was first; it's possible they coincided. Either way, I think both are probably quite telling.
last song: "Ophelia" by The Lumineers.
last film: Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny
currently reading: The Sweetness of Water by Nathan Harris. I'm about halfway through and it's pretty good.
currently watching: Right this minute, the Bears/Vikings football game because my husband has control of the TV.
currently consuming: Pumpkin pie :D
currently craving: More pumpkin pie :D
I haven't been consistently around here in awhile, so I'm not sure who to tag. I'll take the copout and tag whoever sees this and wants to do it! Plz feel free to include me in your post so that I can learn about youuuuuu.
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teachingmycattoread · 5 months
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Things We've Yelled About This Episode #3.15
Disco Elysium
Good Omens (2019-)
Nimona (2023)
Nimona, N. D. Stevenson
Gingerhaze (tumblr)
One Piece (2023 -)
One Piece, Eiichiro Oda
Knife of Dreams, Robert Jordan
The Gathering Storm, Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson
A Game of Thrones, George R. R. Martin
A Song of Ice and Fire, George R. R. Martin
Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Rick Riordan
Percy Jackson and the Olympians (2023 -)
Percy Jackson: The Lightning Thief (2010)
Power Rangers (2017)
Jane Austen
Temeraire, Naomi Novik
The Chronicles of Narnia, C. S. Lewis
Out of the Silent Planet, C. S. Lewis (our episode here)
Northanger Abbey, Jane Austen (our episode here)
Emma, Jane Austen (our episode here)
Gideon the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir (our episode here)
Uprooted, Naomi Novik (our episode here)
His Majesty’s Dragon, Naomi Novik 
Long Way To A Small Angry Planet, Becky Chambers (our episode here)
Good Omens, Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett (our episode here)
Hamlet, William Shakespeare (our episode here)
The Emperor’s Soul, Brandon Sanderson (our episode here)
The Old Kingdom, Garth Nix
Lirael, Garth Nix (our episode here)
Nona the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir
The Locked Tomb, Tamsyn Muir
The Murderbot Diaries, Martha Wells
Curse of Strahd (wiki)
D&D (wiki)
Percy Jackson and the Olympians (wiki)
The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, Robert Louis Stevenson
Dracula, Bram Stoker (our episodes here and here)
Frankenstein, Mary Shelley (our episode here)
Men at Arms, Terry Pratchett
Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett (our episode here)
Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident, Eoin Colfer
Artemis Fowl (2020)
This infamous line from Avatar: The Last Airbender:
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Chuck Tingle
Monstrous Regiment, AMarguerite (ao3)
George Eliot
The Brontës
Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë
Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë (our episode here)
Animal Farm, George Orwell
Sheltie the Shetland Pony, Peter Clover
Eragon, Christopher Paolini
Star Trek
Odd even rule (trope)
Eragon (2006)
Robin Hood (2006-2009)
The Lord of the Rings, J. R. R. Tolkien
Andy Serkis (imdb)
The Andy Serkis audiobook can be found here
Tom Bombadil; The Lord of the Rings, J. R. R. Tolkien
Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, Tolkien translation (our episode here)
Adapting The Locked Tomb by giving it to Steven Moffat is a reference to this post
Wheel of Time (2021-)
Game of Thrones (2011-2019)
Merlin (2008-2012)
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013)
The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies (2014)
Benedict Cumberbatch’s name (meme)
Benedict Cumberbatch (imdb)
American Gods (2017-2021)
American Gods, Neil Gaiman
Discworld; Terry Pratchett
Going Postal (2010)
Going Postal, Terry Pratchett
Thin Sybil is a reference to the BBC The Watch adaptation of which we speaketh not, we’re still very angry about that
Sybil Ramkin; Discworld, Terry Pratchett
Nobby Nobbs; Discworld, Terry Pratchett
Glup Shitto (meme)
This Is How You Lose The Time War, Amal el-Mohtar and Max Gladstone
The Amulet of Samarkand, Jonathan Stroud
Bartimaeus, Jonathan Stroud
The Wind Singer, William Nicholson
Jeeves and Wooster, P. G. Wodehouse (our episode here)
Howl’s Moving Castle, Dianna Wynne Jones (our episode here)
Death on the Nile, Agatha Christie (our episode here)
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gloriousclio · 1 year
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First Lines Game
Rules: post the first sentence of your last ten fics. If you haven’t written ten fics, share as many first sentences as you have.
@khaleesa tagged me. Oh my gosh, I feel like I haven't written in so long! So long. And I still feel a bit stuck, but I'm trying. I'm still trying.
So here we go, from most recent backwards. With absolutely no judgmental commentary from me.
"“Ready?”" (...And a Movie, Community)
"The worst part of Ben getting sick was helping a toddler while he was sick." (Crash & Burn, Star Wars)
"“Daphne… I am so sorry.” (Petrichor, Bridgerton)
"He was a dashing man, but sort of shiny and cast-plast." (the roots of the plom bloom, Star Wars)
"It was probably a little too obvious that Rob Hunter was a tech bro." (Checksums, Robin Hood BBC (AU))
"“Simon…” Daphne cajoled." (Thoughts of You, Bridgerton)
"Clyvedon was known for being a very quiet house, miles from anywhere on a road to nowhere in particular." ('Twas my own heart, dilly dilly, that told me so, Bridgerton)
"“What are you reading, Sister?”" (A Sisterly Chat, Bridgerton)
"Apparently, she has been married two months now." (Imperfections, Bridgerton)
"“Does that hurt?”" (A Marital Dialogue, Pertaining to Children and Compromise, Bridgerton)
Amazing. I only have 6 Bridgerton fics, but they are all in the net of the most frequent. I have no defense. It's just... Regé-Jean Page's face.
Ahem.
Interesting that I also seem to start stories with dialogue half the time, at least from this sample.
Maybe I should write tonight. Or maybe I should reread my favorite bits of Petrichor, the absolute smuttiest thing I've ever written.
Enjoy!
I am shit at tagging. You should do this if you want, and say I tagged you.
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etherra-ll · 1 year
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3, 6, 10 and 14 for the fandom ask meme, please? (Sending my best wishes and hugs for whatever you might be going through currently, I wish I could help you in any way... much love 💗💕💗)
Hi!! Augghh yeah it's a bit tough at the moment ngl, thanks so much for the love...!
3. characters you would marry in an instant?
Heh. Aramis from BBC's Musketeers. Douxie if he looked like Hiccup. Possibly Robin Hood. Oof and Prince Proteus from Sinbad. I have an oc called Kelsin, he is my dream guy... very passionate, very emotionally empathetic, a leader nonetheless and has this brown curly hair...ouch. I have a type and I know my type, I'm not going to go into more detail here!!! XDDDD
See, the problem about Hiccup is that while I find him physically attractive, I couldn't marry him because I already personally identify with his soul as if I *were* him. And I can't marry myself now, can I. The person you marry is typically someone who compliments your type - that doesn't work if the character *is* you. Shame lol.
6. Do you read fanfiction? If so, do you have any favorite authors or fics?
I don't read fanfiction, sorry! It's because my head is a mad galaxy that already makes up enough stuff to last me a lifetime about the universes that I like! :) I prefer to daydream my favorite tropes as movies within my mind! Writing prompts are always welcome as food for thought. But reading fanfiction on top has never worked for me tbh. As much as I'm theoretically interested, the experience itself has been sort of overwhelming. I'll sometimes take a peek into a mutual's work because I want to support them, but, alas, I never get far.
Suffering As I Suffer You by @/wilderwestking is an unfinished Hiccstrid fic that has stayed with me forever. It's probably my favorite piece out there.
10. characters that deserved worse? >:]
Kinda every shady side character in ToA...? look, Strickler killed the former principal of Arcadia Oaks High without repercussions and Jim lets him date his mother. Dude. Merlin never got a true redemption arc, we just got more insight into his perspective. His personality stayed pretty much the same. Then there's Nomura... Morgana... STEVE. Bro. Steve. Idk did he ever apologize to anyone??? He just "changed" and everyone welcomed him onto the team. Idk. I guess I would have needed a little more talk than that. ToA was very forgetting of people's actions of the past lol. Nobody ever really needed to own up or even reflect verbally about what they did.
14. Sorry, this ask makes me a little uncomfortable, I'll just skip it.
Thanks for asking!! It cheered me up to answer these. I love being asked for my thoughts <3 You really brightened my day!!!
Reddie
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let-djaqsayfuck · 2 years
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the bbc robin hood characters n their red flags:
Robin
-hero complex
-mommy daddy AND brother issues like damn hun pick a family member
-kind of a whore
-might have punched a wall
-can do backflips. never trust a man who can do a backflip. this is non negotiable
-ur hulu best have ads or else
-cannot apologize to save his life
Much
-never takes off his carhartt beanie
-“bros before hoes” aka would drop u for robin in a heartbeat
-that run. the way he runs. wtf. little penguin lookin ass—
Will
-gave his dad son issues
-don’t like the look in his eye if i’m being honest
-“car guy” vibes 🚩🚩🚩
-but overall he has the least amount of red flags i love him A+ bf material
Allan a Dale
-“what up bitch can i have a dollar? ugh for a slushee,, i kno you have one open ur purse”
-might rob you blind
-would borrow your car, get in a fender bender and most definitely NOT tell you about it
-any gift you receive from him will get repossessed bc he has stolen it
Tuck
-catholic
-gives unsolicited advice
-idk what his deal is but can he even date??? can friars date?? girl idk but also tucks my 4liferr idc what you guys say
-the way he grabbed that gravel unsettled me
Little John
-he’s married (? taken*?) so
-but i mean hey
-cannot pass a background check
Djaq
-she is perfect no red flags 2 speak of
-would probably forget you in the target parking lot
-judgy but rightfully so
-will always be wittier than u so if u can’t handle that u will never b compatible
Marian
-outdresses you at every event. yea sometimes it is on purpose, die mad ab it
-leaves you on read for hours but will show up at ur doorstep w a stab wound like “oh the bleeding? it’s in a non vital area it’s fine we can go get chipotle now”
-has all the tea on everyone. like not in a fun gossipy way, a “how does she know this much personal information about everyone” and it gets you thinking how much does she know about you?????
-the answer is everything be very scared
-has side hoes. u r probably one of them
Kate
-shanks as a warning
-“i’m a chill girl” she is n o t
-shoplifts but only at franchises she has personal vendettas against (it is a long list, panera being thee top 1)(yes you have had to drive a getaway car stuffed w trash bags full of bagels)
-saw her mugshot on the news, she told you dont worry abt it babes
Isabella
-gaslight gatekeep girlboss
-every time u jokingly ask her how many ppl she’s stabbed, her response keeps changing w increasingly random numbers
-plays games >:( specifically, political ones that involve huge scandals and coups. sexy, but a red flag regardless
-talks about you to her friends but in a way where they all laugh discreetly and arch their eyebrows knowingly at each other from behind their wine glasses. you don’t know what this means but it’s unnerving
Roy
-says he “has his own car” but it’s actually a scooter
-can’t communicate v well
-gave a baby a lightbulb to play with once
-cheesy pickup lines that he 100% believes are smooth
-very easily convinced by the flat earth theory, but will never fall for a multi level marketing scheme pitch
Sheriff
-he’s a gemini
-what else do u need to know? babe RUN
Guy
-he is a walking red flag LOOK AT HIM
-owns more knives than shirts and makes you look at them while he talks about all the unique ways u can kill ppl w them
-got 1 tattoo and made it his whole personality
-has never once talked about his feelings. he told you his favorite season then immediately apologized “for getting all vulnerable”
-hung up on his ex 🙄
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