I’m fucking venting here bc I’m angry and don’t have anyone to talk to and I’m not sure if this is political correct or right or whatever but I’m fucking pissed - I’m a public school teacher who works in the inner city and this year alone there have been two shootings in my neighborhood involving students not dying school hours- and one student who went missing due to gang ties (they were found ALIVE a DAYS later) -
I’m fucking TIRED I’m FREAKED OUT and I’m ANGRY because I have to go into work tomorrow and I have to have that conversation with the kids during our SEL block because they will have questions and bc they are in middle school some will not know how to process it and will joke while others will be genuinely upset
and I feel nauseous thinking about the fact that my mother and four of my closest friends are all going through the same fucking shit as teachers at different schools right now- and my roommate who is trans- and unrelated to his identity is also kinda an asshole- has been shitting on me all night about how I’m not I’m danger like he is and how I don’t know his pain (and while I’m not making excuses I’m an openly gay teacher who works directly with the lgbt students and activly educated my kids on trans rights AND I work for a nonprofit organization that directly works to protect trans and queer rights and JUST LAST WEEK put out a video for our organization on antitrans laws - I’m not saying I fucking get what it’s like to be trans but Jesus fuck I’m fighting the fight for trans youth more than you are working at Whole Foods) why the FUCK are you quantifying suffering, why the FUCK are you lashing out at ME of all people, and why the fuck are you telling a public school teacher in inner city Boston that I have no idea what it’s like to be afraid- motherfucker I’m angry I’m sorry but why the fuck are you monopolizing suffering why do you think you have the right to talk to me this fucking way. I get you are scared but you work in Whole Foods in Massachusetts- the bluest state there is- )
there is no fucking cap on grief- sorry I’m upset at this as well but you saying it doesn’t directly effect me is just so fucking ignorant and suffering shouldn’t be quantifiable mf we are on the same fucking side why are you infighting right now (and I know this isn’t relevant and this is entirely unrelated to him being trans but god he is so fucking sexist- saying shit like I have no idea what it’s like to have my bodily autonomy at risk as if roe v wade didn’t get overturned THIS year???) sometimes it pisses me off like fucking sorry I’m being over emotional and overreacting to a school shooting as a fucking public school teacher GOD I should be allowed to be angry too in my own goddamn apartment-
you don’t get to sit on your high horse and say you suffer more than me and that I’m not allowed to be afraid ok I’m done I’m gonna go in tomorrow and make sure to hug my one openly trans kid extra hard bc I know they are suffering just like I know my roomate is suffering and needs a place to express his anger- I get I’m an easy target bc I’m a safe person to lash out at and I’m not telling anyone how to grieve and I know a lot of this is just knee jerk reaction to violence and anger- I just wish he wasn’t expressing it at the one fucking person who doesn’t deserve it, like fuck, the one thing people always say about public school teachers is that we have it TOO easy, especially the night after a school shooting
*Also fuck terfs and fuck anyone who is using a tragedy as an excuse to hate trans people*
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Soy Luna Road Trip AU: B Team
“Hey Gaston?” Ramiro’s voice calls out slowly. He leans forward from the back seat of the car where he is sitting and peaks his head into the front between Nina and Gaston. “Do you remember when I mentioned a blue car that was trailing us?”
Gaston’s eyes flicker from the road to the rear mirror in terror. “Oh shit.” Nina curses under her breath and pulls up her map app on her phone.
“Yeah, oh shit, might be the least of it,” Ramiro mutters under his breath. Nina directs Gaston down a new alleyway, and they swerve between streets to try to lose them. “You know when you mentioned we were going on the run from Ambar’s crazy strict aunt, I wasn't picturing this.” Ramiro looks back again, “yeah, well then again, considering this whole year, why am I surprised.”
“Ramiro, shut up,” Gaston hisses.
“Behind us!” Nina calls out and they swerve another time.
Gaston turns quickly to the right, but the car is already beside them. It steers in front of them, blocking the road completely. Gaston prepares to go in reverse, but the second his eyes meet the other drivers his mouth drops, and he stops. “Pedro?”
Emilia rolls down the window waves them down. “Hey Jam and Losers!” She opens the door and jumps out.
The back door opens and out swarms, Jim, Yam, Jazmin, Delfi, Nico and Pedro. “Do you think I can market the video of this chase as a race?” Jazmine says a little too seriously. Delfi, shakes her head at Jazmin, and silently pleads for Jazmine to stop. “Oh, I’m just kidding.” Jim scoffs in disbelief. “Well mostly.”
Pedro walks at the front of the group with a disappointed scowl. “How dare you leave without us. We are a team.”
“Yeah!” Jam calls out. “Someone messes with one of us, they mess with all of us.” Everyone nods in agreement.
Gaston shakes his head. “No. The point of this is to be discrete. There are too many of us, for all of us to go try to help them.”
“Well duh,” Emilia deadpans. “Thats the first thing we can agree on.”
“Why are you even-,” Ramiro starts.
“Just hear her out,” Pedro says calmly. “Hear her out.”
“Fine.”
Emilia pulls out a map. “The plan is to keep that manipuladora, away from Ambar. So, we have a counter proposal. We make three teams of four, each will pretend to be Ambar, Simon, Luna and Matteo until they to throw them off track. We wear wings, we go all out. If we can confuse that mad woman for a couple weeks, hell, a couple days, we are giving Ambar time.”
Nina and Gaston look at each other. Their plan was to catch up to Luna, Simon, Ambar and Matteo discretely help them find protection with Nina’s lawyer mother. This would completely throw their plan out the window. But in the last few days on the run, they have realized the true danger Ambar and Luna are in. Maybe bringing them home isn't the best plan.
Emilia opens the front car door and gives Gaston a look. “You can’t expect me to think you guys are competent enough to drive around my country with only a google map. Let me help you. I’ll be your guide in theory, we go mostly off the grid, only communicate between each other, and try to piece out what truly happened at the Jam Fest.” Emilia’s eyes darken. “There is no way they committed those crimes.”
“Sounds like more of a plan, than what we’ve got,” Ramiro buds in. “I hate it, but she is right, it’s not like we know the area enough to find them anyways.”
Gaston stays quiet and then turns to Nina. “I think we should do it.”
Nina shakes her read. “It's too risky, my mom could still help protect them-.”
Gaston shakes his head. “Nina, we don't even know where to look. This, although crazy, might be better than our plan.”
Nina shakes her head. She looks out into the crowd. Everyone looks back at her, hopefully and well meaning. Nina sighs and then puts out her hand. “Deal, but all information is shared between the groups.”
Emilia smiles, the shake hands. Nina takes note the gratefulness in Emilia’s eyes, “let's just get our people home.”
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