#at least online i don’t have to worry about that stuff . bc irl it’s like a constant stream of | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

strawberrymilkgeorge · 3 years

Text

Part Ten. Faces

warnings: swearing, hate comments word count: 4.1k (not including pics)

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

A/N: sorry its late!!!! this feels rushed but i was just too excited to get to some parts!!! also i have had some parts written out for SO long that they dont even feel cute to me anymore so im literally praying to every deity rn that you guys think its cute lmao anyway enjoy!!!!

**********

It had been about a week since Karl's slip up but everything was already more normal than Y/n had expected it to be. Of course, George, Sapnap and Quackity were all very understanding and gave her space while simultaneously reassuring her that she was safe with them. She fully believed it too, she knew she was safe with them and they weren't going to tell anyone her name.

The one unusual thing was now she had a heavy guilt, like someone dropped another sandbag in her stomach, every time Dream texted her. If the others knew, it was only fair that she tell him her name too, right? I mean, it's Dream. Dream! The boy who had quickly slipped his way into her life and, though she wouldn't admit it to Karl or Naomi, her heart.

But how? Does she just come right out and say it or wait until it gets brought up? She hadn't practiced telling anyone her name because she wasn't planning on doing it any time soon. Though, maybe she should have been seeing as she was going to see them all in person in a little over a month.

Regardless of the guilt, Y/n had other things to worry about today; Quackity was coming to visit. Karl had picked him up from the airport and the two of them spent all day catching up and doing who knows what but Y/n still hadn't met him. She was scared. She wasn't scared of Quackity, but scared because it was the first time one of her online friends would be able to put a face to her name and voice.

Y/n shuffled across her living room rug and reached for her phone on the coffee table, looking for some sort of distraction while she waited for them to arrive.

Y/n rolled her eyes but smiled, shaking her head as she threw her phone on the couch. Okay, he's right. It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be great. It's just Quackity. If he said anything rude or annoying or anything she could literally just step on him like a bug.

A sharp knock on the front door of her apartment snapped her back into reality. She shook her limbs of nervousness as she made her way to the door, two familiar voices begging to be acknowledged from the other side.

"Let us iiinnn!! Y/nnn!!!!" Karl whined.

After countless times asking the same question, she finally convinced Karl that she was okay with him using her real name in front of Quackity. He clearly still felt guilty about telling the boys her name, asking her multiple times in different ways whether he should call her Y/n or Bugsy in front of the guest. She finally got it through his head that she didn't mind either way.

"Hold on!" she yelled back. She unlocked the door and swung it open to see Karl and Quackity. "So impatient."

"Holy shit, you are tall! Goddammit, I thought that was a joke!"

Y/n laughed shyly at the greeting, looking at Quackity like he was crazy. "Hello to you too. Tried to warn you, dude."

"Yeah but, damn! You're tall and attractive, what the hell?"

"Dude," she said with a warning in her voice. She thought the flirting on Twitter was funny, but in real life she got embarrassed easier and wasn't a fan. "I'm about to kick you out of my house before I even let you in."

This was weird, meeting Quackity before meeting some of her other friends. She loved Quackity, but she had known George much longer and Sapnap even before that. There was no problem with meeting Quackity, she just had no idea how to act since she felt like she hardly knew him.

"Am I allowed to tell people that you're hot?" he asked as he fell on her couch, Karl following right after.

"Quackity!" Y/n yelled, her face heating up at a compliment. "Seriously?"

Karl cackled and shoved Quackity. "Shut up, Alex! No, you're not allowed!"

"Sorry, is that compliment reserved for Dream?" He cackled at his own joke and Y/n's face heated up even more.

"I seriously will kick you out of my house."

"You wanna be flirty on main but not in real life?" Quackity scoffed.

"I'm not flirty on main, you are!" she laughed. "Seriously, don't."

"Okay, sorry, I'll stop," Quackity promised with a laugh in his words.

The three of them fell into easy conversation, mostly because Karl and Quackity were already comfortable around each other at this point. They eventually decided to go to the mall, just to mess around and do something.

*reminder: covid doesn't exist in this fic bc we only want happy things so ignore their masks :P*

Y/n frowned as she unlocked her front door, staring at her phone. She had been so happy with all the fans freaking out about the meetup so she looked at the trending list, expecting to see a flood of keyboard smashes and happiness, but that's not all she ended up seeing. BUGKARLITY was trending, so she scrolled through the tweets and was upset to see not all of them were positive. In fact, when she typed her name in the search bar, lots of the tweets using her name were rather mean.

A few that stuck in her head called her an attention whore and said that her friends only flirted with her because she paid them too. Who on earth would even do that? Some hurt way more than others but she tried to push them aside. It wasn't like this was the first time she had seen comments like this, but they had only gotten worse since her Minecraft date with Dream. She was worried it was cause more hate for her friends and the last thing she wanted was to be the cause of their own hate.

She typed several different messages to Dream, deleting them all after she reread them. She felt like she had to request the same thing from him in a different way. Maybe because she felt like his words meant more, even if he really was just joking like the rest of them. She decided to call him instead of texting.

"Hi!" he chirped happily from the other end.

"Hi, Dream," she said as her chest filled with something warm at the sound of his voice. "How are you doing?"

"Good," he dragged out the word. "How are you?"

"Okay."

"Just okay? What's up?"

"Um," she started, immediately forgetting the words she decided she'd use. "I just... would you mind, uh, not flirting with me so much on, like, Twitter and streams and stuff like that?"

There was a silence before Dream's frantically apologetic words came through. "Yes, of course, oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. If I had known I was making you uncomfortable, I wouldn't have—"

"Wait, no," she interrupted but he must not have heard.

"—said things like... oh gosh. Bug, I'm really sorry—"

"Dream!" she raised her voice, getting him to stop ranting. "You don't make me uncomfortable."

"Oh. Really?"

"Of course not. I actually think it's really..." Cute? Adorable? Endearing? "funny," she decided.

"Oh. Then why...?"

She sighed heavily and explained what she told the others. "So, yeah. I just don't want you guys getting hate because of me so I figure if you stop then... you know."

"Bug..." he said gently. "I'm really sorry. I promise you that I don't—none of us think those things about you."

"I know."

"No, seriously," he said, clearly not believing her. "You need to understand that I..." he paused. "I mean what I say. Always."

Always? she thought. There's a few things he's said that certainly he didn't really mean... like calling her cute?

"I don't joke around like that unless I want to. I wouldn't say things like I say to you unless I really, really, genuinely considered you a close friend and felt comfortable around you. And I do."

Her heart swelled. "Thanks, Dream. I just... maybe don't do it so much for right now? Online, at least," she clarified, not wanting to deprive herself completely of Dream's flirting.

"Yeah, if that's what you want, of course."

"Well, I don't want you to stop flirting with me but, yeah."

He chuckled. "Oh, you do like when I flirt with you?"

She hummed and changed the subject. "Did I interrupt you doing anything?"

"No," his teasing voice dropped and was back to his regular self. "I'm just editing the video we filmed the other day."

"Oh, the 'Minecraft, but you can't touch the floor'?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Oh," she said, not meaning to sound disappointed. "I'll let you get back to it—"

"No. I mean, you can stay on the phone. Unless you're busy."

She smiled and put her phone on speaker and set it next to her foot on the floor. "I was just gonna paint. So I can stay."

Before she knew it, almost two hours had passed of them sitting in comfortable silence, occasionally speaking to share something with the other before going back to their tasks. It was comforting knowing she didn’t need to speak constantly and could just hang out with Dream.

Y/n's phone rested on the floor next to her, Dream on speakerphone on the other end, only the sounds of his keyboard clicking letting her know he hadn't fallen asleep or hung up. She wasn't sure when they started doing this, staying on the phone even when they had nothing to talk about, but they had done it a few times before. They had talked on the phone and Discord many times but it was usually always with purpose, not usually this silently-enjoying-each-others-presence nonsense. Who was she kidding calling it nonsense, she enjoyed it an embarrassingly insane amount.

She repositioned so she was laying on her stomach as she finished sketching an image that was in her mind.

"Hey, you still there?" Dream asked softly.

"Yeah. Sorry, am I taking away from your sitting in silence time with George?" she joked.

Dream chuckled lightly. "Nah, you're more fun. I was just seeing if you ditched me for Karl yet."

"Nah, you're more fun," she mimed truthfully. "But I'm very focused on this drawing."

"Can I see it when you're done?"

"Don't expect too much. It looks bad."

"If you don't tell me what it is, I can't know how accurate or inaccurate it is."

"Very true..." she trailed off, holding the canvas further away to examine it all at once. She wanted the sketch to be perfect before she made permanent choices with paint. She enjoyed the serenity they maintained even when talking, voices low and delicate like they were keeping secrets but not quite whispering. "Are you almost done editing your video from the other day?"

"Sorta. I'm at the part where you and Sapnap almost died laughing because a ghast knocked George into lava and then Sapnap laughed so hard he fell into lava."

She chuckled, remembering the situation vividly. "That was so funny. The way George screams is so funny."

"Let Naomi know that," he mumbled, causing Y/n to gasp.

"Dream!" she laughed loudly and he joined.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry. It's true though."

"Disgusting!"

A distant voice sounded on the other end and she assumed it was Sapnap. "What do you want for dinner?"

Dream responded with a soft, "Nothing, I'm good."

"Are you talking to Bugsy?"

He must have responded physically because the next sound was Sapnap's very clear, much more lively voice speaking directly into the phone. "Hi, Bugsy!"

"Hi, Sapnap!"

"Can you tell Dream to eat some damn food? This man literally hasn't eaten a single thing all goddamn day."

"Dream," Y/n scolded slowly. "Please eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"I'm not showing you my painting until you eat."

A door closed on the other end and she took that as a sign that Sapnap had left.

"I don't wanna see it anyway. It's probably trash."

"Take that back!" she gasped lightly. She looked at the canvas as she grabbed the first paint color and laughed. It was only a sketch and it was already trash. "Fine, then I won't go on the trip if you don't eat in the next ten minutes."

"That's punishing yourself too though."

"Who says I want to see you?" she asked.

"I never said anything about not seeing me being the punishment."

She had been caught. "It was implied."

"Sure it was."

"It's true though. Who says I wanna see your stupid face?"

He didn't say anything, but an incoming FaceTime call lit up Y/n's phone. A FaceTime call from him.

Her smile dropped. "Clay?"

"Answer it," his voice was lower and her heart started beating faster. Was he really about to show her his face to prove a point? Reveal his biggest secret that only a few close friends knew? To her of all people? She made sure she couldn't be seen in the small window and pressed accept, the voice call ending and the FaceTime call starting.

To her surprise, what came into view wasn't his face, but the logo of the hoodie he was wearing, the simple smile of his merch taunting her. She laughed, the anxiety slowly fading away as it was replaced with a heavy feeling in her stomach. Was she disappointed? Maybe a little, but he teased her into believing she would see him.

"Oh, wow! Dream face reveal! He looks just like his icon, no way!!!"

His chest moved up and down as he laughed, not moving the camera away. "You heard it here first, guys! You've known my face all along, the logo is actually my face!"

She laughed and returned to painting, not paying any more attention to her phone since he was now also showing his ceiling, a small corner of his monitor in frame but nothing else. "I mean it though, if you don't eat, I'm going to be so mad I won't even want to be friends anymore. Or you'll die from malnourishment before we get the chance to meet."

"I doubt it. I'm just not hungry."

"Whatever."

"Oh, hey, so you met Quackity today. How was it?"

"Very scary."

"Yeah?" he asked sympathetically, urging her to explain if she wanted.

"Yeah. But it turned out okay! He didn't act any different so it was fine. It was mostly just awkward. He's also so freaking loud. You would not believe how much louder he and Karl get when they're together."

"I can imagine. Aren't they doing a stream right now or something?"

"Yeah, I think so. I don't wanna watch though, I've had enough of them for the month."

Dream laughed. "How will you deal with them together for New Years'? It'll be for like two weeks."

"Who knows if I'll actually go?"

"Wait, what?" he asked abruptly, not even bothering to hide the disappointment in his voice. His keyboard stopped clicking and she could picture him staring at his phone as if looking at her. "Of course you're going."

"Not if you don't eat food! You have, like, 3 minutes to eat something until I officially am busy doing other things whenever the trip is."

Dream groaned and clicked a few things on his computer before the image on the screen became blurry as he walked through the house, still pointing it at the ceiling. She looked away again and kept painting.

"Quackity's really funny though," she continued. "It was super awkward at first but it was fun to have someone else to help me make fun of Karl."

"Wait, Bug," Dream called out over the sound of wrappers crinkling.

"Hm?" She hummed, continuing to paint.

"Bug," his voice was much softer and he sounded nervous.

She looked at her screen and dropped the paintbrush as she focused on what she saw, grabbing her phone and holding it closer to her face so she could see, still making sure she wasn't in view. All the anxiety from the beginning of the FaceTime suddenly came back and hit her like a truck. Sitting on her screen, waiting to be seen, was Dream. His hood was up, tufts of blonde hair sticking out, and he was standing with his back towards a dark room, the dim light from his pantry making his face just visible.

He held up a cookie in front of his actual, real face. "Are you watching?"

"Y-yea... I... Yeah. I'm watching. Is that really you?"

He nodded once before shoving the cookie in his mouth. "There, I consumed food," he announced, his voice muffled by the cookie. "Now you're legally obligated to come."

"I—What? CLAY! WHAT?"

"What?" he asked innocently as he chewed, walking back to his room and still holding the phone up to show his face. His room light was on, making his face much more visible. If Y/n thought he was attractive in the harsh pantry light, he must have looked like a god in his room lighting, even as pixelated as he was due to the quality of FaceTime. He fell on his bed and Y/n could only gape at his features. He slumped against his headboard, surrounded by roughly a thousand pillows, sporting a small, shy smile as he stared at the screen. "Bug, what?"

She opened her mouth but no words came out. Needless to say, he was unbelievably handsome. Part of the speechlessness was from the shock that he showed his face out of the blue, but obviously, the majority of it was that he was pretty much the most attractive person she'd ever seen. It should be illegal for someone to look that good in a hoodie, especially when pixelated.

"Hmm," he hummed thoughtfully. "Wanna take back what you said earlier?" He bit into another cookie.

"W-what did I say earlier?" Why was she stuttering???

"You said you don't wanna see me and that I'm ugly," he teased.

She paused for too many seconds too long before finally muttering, "you arrogant son of a bitch." He laughed loudly at that.

His eyes crinkled and he threw his head back. So that's what he looks like when he wheezes, she thought to herself, pretty.

Dream shuffled his position on his bed and rested his head on one of his hands. He looked so comfy. "Why are you so quiet, weirdo?" he mumbled.

She set her phone back down and touched her cheeks with her hands and looked away for a moment, grounding herself to the real world for a second. She couldn't process her thoughts when she was staring at a man as gorgeous as Clay. "I don't know, maybe because you gave me no warning before showing me your face? Or because you failed to mention that you're incredibly hot?"

She was so glad she had looked back at her phone or else she would have missed the glorious sight of his cheeks turning bright red before he turned the camera back to his ceiling. "Oh my gosh."

"Aw cute, I made you blush."

"Shut up," he mumbled. "You threatened to not come if I didn't eat something!"

"You didn't have to—you showed me your freaking face just to prove you ate a cookie!! DREAM! I would have believed you if you just said you ate something!" she laughed breathlessly, staring at the phone now for a chance to see him again. "I was joking anyway!"

"Sure you were."

"I was."

"Well, oh well. You deserved to see me anyway."

"Oh, I deserve to see you?" She laughed. "How big is your ego?"

"You know what I meant," he groaned. "You got doxxed by Karl and you met Quackity in person. And you've clearly had a bad day because of all the hate and stuff. You've done a lot of stressful things recently and you deserved to be let in on a secret too."

He was so sweet. Like, tooth-rotting, Halloween candy stash hidden under a kid's bed, upset tummy sweet. She also couldn't get over the fact that he was a million times cuter when he was shy like he was being now, his voice soft and unsure. It contrasted vastly with the confident, loud-mouthed Dream everyone usually saw, though she liked that Dream too. She wished he could show his face for just one more second to see what he looked like shy. Probably sickeningly adorable.

This was it, wasn't it? The chance she had been waiting for to tell him her name? He just let her in on his biggest secret, now he was the one deserving to be let in.

"Y/n," she said with a confident, but soft voice.

There was a long pause. "W-what?"

"Y/n."

He understood the second time immediately. "Y/n..." he tested, the smile in his voice clear as day. "I like it."

"Yeah, well, I guess you deserved to know the secret too."

"I would have been content never knowing."

"Really?" She didn't believe him. He seemed like the type to never be satisfied, always looking for something better. Not in a greedy way, but in a motivational, goal-oriented big achiever way.

"Really," he hummed. "I already feel like you're too good to be true so I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't a real person."

It was silent as she tried to collect her thoughts.

"Bug? You okay?"

"Yeah, I... it's just a lot."

"Sorry."

"No, it's not you. Well... I don't know. I just don't know what I'm supposed to say when you say things like that," she admitted.

He paused. "I think you always have the perfect responses when I say things like that."

"What do I usually say?" She smiled shyly, pulling her hoodie up to her lips.

"You usually call me a nerd or say you can't stand me. 'Oh my gosh I cannot stand you'," he mimicked before laughing.

"What? How is that the perfect response to you saying you can't believe I'm real?"

He hummed and she could practically hear him shrugging. "Because it's a classic Bug response. It's a hundred perfect you. So yeah, it's perfect."

She was silent, trying to compose herself before she exploded.

"By the way, check Twitter."

"Why, are you bragging about me calling you hot?" she teased, hoping to make him blush like she had earlier. It worked.

"Oh my gosh, no. Just look."

She clicked her home button and navigated to the app, her feed instantly flooding with the same similar messages.

"Oh, my gosh," she muttered, her fingers flying away as she typed out her own tweet in response to the love.

Dream chuckled from the other end and when she asked him why, he vaguely said that George texted him but didn't explain further.

"Um, I have to go," she said mournfully. "Karl and Quackity are coming over again."

"Booooo," he pouted.

"Sorry, you aren't the only man in my life," she teased before instantly regretting her choice of words. Too flirty, Y/n, she thought to herself.

"Hm, shame. Am I at least at the top of the list?"

She bit her lips, wanting desperately to repeat what she had told him on their Minecraft date. In the end, she gave in. "I always mean what I say too," she started. "You're my main bitch, baby."

Dream made some sort of sound, a mix of a scoff and a whine but Y/n didn't comment on it, just glowing with heat in her cheeks.

"Leave before I don't let you," he said softly and the heat only grew.

"Goodnight, Dream," she pressed, the tone in her voice letting him know he was being a tease. "Thanks for... thanks for your tweet. And for everything you said earlier."

"Of course. Sorry that you have to see those kinds of things a lot."

"It's okay when I have people like you."

"People like me? What does that mean?"

"Just.... people like you." Cute, sweet, kind, genuine people who make her heart flutter.

She could hear his smile in his words and she figured he knew the unspoken words in her thoughts, the ones she was saying without saying. "Okay. Goodnight, Y/n."

"Goodnight."

**********

PREVIOUS | NEXT

taglist: OPEN (at the time)

@hydrate-tion @loraleiix @tinaswagbd @charsdummb @smileyyuta @1ghoste1 @cerberus-hellhound @gaysludge @queestionmark @carnations-red @letsloveimagines @the-fictionwriters-hairdo @boiled-onionrings @a-cryptic @fee-btheweeb @erwinss @just-a-stan @axths @kayleigh2703 @furiouspockettoad @sometimeseverythingsucks @powerpuffyn @itshaileyn @millavalntyne @automaticcomputerpaper @nikkineeky @fivedicksinatrenchcoat @sprucekot @bellomi-clarke @possiblyanxioushuman @crybabyjabby @mae-musicbitch @hungoverhellhound @dreamyteam @kuroo-icedtea @stuffforreferences @menacingaesthetic @sapphic-soot @fangeekkk @haseulreturns @queenwastaken @peteysgf @losingvienna @bi-narystars @zero-nightshade @erinitoburrito @sparklykeylime @youhyakuya @danny-devitowo @clubfairy @loser-keiji @oi-itsemily @alm334 @the-katastrophe @wreny24 @applecakeradio @unicornblood4ever @brendalopez99 @spacecluster @justonemoreepisode @strawbrinkofdeath @aikochan4859 @chaotic-tieflings @dreamsofficialwife @where-thesundoesntshine @jamiealenaa @unstableye @kageyamama-hinatatata @officiallyunofficialperson @secretly-a-weeb @localsimp @loxbbg @rhymeorreason1 @flubblubbb @kiritokunuwu @sylumarts @raining13lemonade @aiyncel @ghostfacefricker6969 @avengemepercy @modyoonie @sapnapsupremaci @donttellaweirdweakling @writinginnit @mosstea-png @mayempress @theboywhocriedlupin

#dream x reader #dreamwastaken x reader #dreamwastaken x you #dream x y/n #dreamwastaken x y/n #mcyt x reader #mcyt x y/n #mcyt fanfiction #smau #social media au #dreamwastaken smau #rpf #real person fiction

956 notes · View notes

changebydjo · 3 years

Text

IMPORTANT - PLEASE READ

so i’ve put off writing this for a long, long time, and it’ll be painful for me to make this post but at this point i feel like it needs to be done. someone within the liz fandom has been lying, gaslighting and manipulating me as well as many others, both online and offline, and after getting proof on everything (plus their lack of remorse) has prompted me to write this.

this is about gil perez, aka @unrated-g, and one of his irl friends, kim @kimbus-the-whimbus, to a lesser extent, but mostly gil. since 2016 - nearly 5 years now - he’s been lying that he’s best friends with liz gillies. i’m gonna put a read more because it’s a long, insane, and ridiculous thing that happened, but please read all of it and know how serious this is, as well as all the damage this man has done.

i met gil through tumblr in 2018 - he had been replying my posts since before that, but early 2018 is when i followed him and started chatting with him casually. over time, i noticed that he would reblog posts about liz and in the tags he would seem to be talking to her or referencing her, but not by her name - instead he would call her “goblin”. he would mention things that “goblin” liked or behind the scenes on dynasty stuff, and after a few weeks of noticing this and chatting with him about dynasty/liz, i ended up asking him if he was friends with liz/knew her personally because of the way he spoke about her. he confirmed to me that he knew her, she was one of his best friends, and he “didn’t expect” anyone to pick up on it. he told me to keep it private and i agreed, obviously, because i had no reason to not trust him, and i know that liz values her privacy.

it’s important to note that liz does NOT follow him or any of his accounts from her verified twitter or instagram accounts - instead, he said she had an “extremely private” encrypted tumblr account that could only be seen by people she follows/white listed. he was one of them. her blog would not show up for anyone else, and they met through tumblr in 2016 (even though he said she followed him back in 2010 and he didn’t realize until 6 years later) through their mutual love for uncharted, and bonded over playing uncharted 4 multiplayer together. it’s also important to note that liz has had 2 tumblr accounts since 2010, both of which she has abandoned, and he said that her private tumblr is separate from those two. she also was friends with him (according to him) through PSN, where they would play ps4 games together, and all of his text convos with her are from that app:

(^ “liz’s” PSN account)

throughout all of 2018, we would text on a regular basis and started becoming good friends. he was extremely kind, always willing to be there for me, and listened to me about not only fandom stuff but also my irl problems. he also became friends with my friend group, who were also in the liz fandom, and it was really nice for a while. in october of 2018, gil said he went to HHN with liz and matt in LA, and for xmas of 2018, he said he spent it with liz - both in LA and in NJ, which is what she typically does to spend her holidays with her family and friends. her pale blue eyes cover was also for him, according to gil, because he asked for her to cover it specifically and she did just for him.

gil would also occasionally stream for friends, and sometimes liz would show up:

beginning of 2019 is when gil and i started getting much closer - we started playing games together (mostly mario kart, at the beginning) and talking through voice chat. he would talk about liz and personal things about her/her life or dynasty, and he always willingly supplied that information himself - i never asked for it, i wasn’t friends with him to get information on liz or have an “in” with her. chatting with him made me feel good and happy and important to him, and i realized i started having feelings for him - which i told him about in april 2019. he said he wasn’t sure exactly how he felt but he thought he might feel the same, the only really complicated part (besides the fact that this was long distance/not irl) was that he also had a really deep crush on liz, someone who was his best friend/ultimate celeb crush. he was really like in love with her, even though he said he tried to suppress it. anyways, after me admitting that to him, our friendship started to develop into something more. we weren’t ever in an official relationship, but things were definitely not strictly platonic with us. we went from chatting once every week or two to almost every single night for 3-6 hours per night for MONTHS. throughout that time, our relationship became sexual, too, and my feelings for him just continued to get deeper and deeper.

this continues throughout the rest of 2019, and then new years 2020, everything just...goes to shit asap. gil got really distant with me with no explanation, i felt like all the affection he was showing me and the kind things he would say to me, as well as our bonding time when we would chat together, was just ripped away unexpectedly. i constantly asked what was wrong and what was happening, and told him how i feel, and i got no real response besides just being tired/non-sociable, etc. (which, for the record, is completely understandable, but it was such a huge 180 in behavior that it worried me and things never went back to normal after that). in addition to that, kim (who was mentioned at the beginning of this post) is one of his best friends irl, as well as his on again/off again ex (according to him). anyways, there were posts that she had made that indicated to them not being exes and instead still together - or at the very least not platonic - which crushed me when i found out, because until that point i had no reason not to trust him. i told him about it though, and how it hurt me because my feelings were so deep for him at that point i felt that i loved him, and he told me they weren’t together. this isn’t really necessary for the liz stuff of this post, but it’s important for context for how hurt and on edge i was already feeling before things got worse.

we would still chat maybe a few times a week, but nothing like it used to be, and i was happy we would even chat at all, even though things felt so weird and different and off, and no matter what i did, i couldn’t fix it. as 2020 started going on, and this continued, his friendship with liz started making me feel extremely uncomfortable. knowing that he had the weird boundaries with his ex, plus whatever was going on with me and him, AND that he was in love with liz?? it was unsettling. i felt like i couldn’t compare, because it’s *liz gillies*, someone i obviously love and idolize and look up to. and she was up on a pedestal for him, even though he said that he never tried to treat liz differently than his other close friends just bc of who she was, but that wasn’t true. anything that she said or did, he agreed with 100%, and would defend it. when he and i would chat, and i would mention something about dynasty that bothered me, he would talk about what liz’s thoughts were on it and how she felt and that she was right to feel that way and it made me feel awful. this happened on multiple occasions throughout various topics, from dynasty to fandom stuff to liz’s friendships/relationships, etc. no matter what, to gil, liz was always right and he always had an explanation for anything that happened. the way he would describe liz and the thing he said about her made me see her in a completely different light - she was not the same liz that she presented herself as, at least in gil’s eyes.

he would always talk about how amazing liz was to him and how she did so much for him, such as buying him gifts, supporting his art, etc. this was hurtful to hear because i was doing the exact same things for him, as well as our group of friends: we had been buying his art (not only the art prints but the ACTUAL original copies), sending him gifts or money for gifts, supporting him and his art on social media, as well as just being a genuine friend to him. he never appreciated or thanked us the way that he thanked liz; none of us ever compared to her, even though we were doing the exact same thing for him that he said liz was doing, as well. it made me feel like no matter what i did, or how supportive i was, i was never enough.

we also had a discord with gil, that involved him, me, and my friends sarah, hope, amanda, and dom. within this discord, it’s worth noting that gil was the only man there, and would talk about liz and his friendship with her there, unprompted. we never asked for info, he volunteered everything willingly, and we all kind of glossed over it at the time because we weren’t friends with him for liz or any of that.

(the screenshot gil linked in the gc is what “liz’s” private encrypted blog looks like on his dash. please note the edit post button in the bottom right of the screenshot.)

another important thing about his friendship with liz/being in love with her: he has this specific kink (which i don’t want to say what it is for privacy reasons) and he said that liz was engaging in this kink herself, and that he was jealous of liz’s bf/wishes he could engage in it with liz, etc. i wasn’t into this kink before talking to him but because i had liked him so much at the time, and i was slightly jealous that he wanted it with liz, i thought that i could indulge in it for him. it was something that i was not physically or mentally prepared for/able to make happen, and it really caused an impact on me, and he just...didn’t care. at all.

anyways: this stuff continues, then around summer 2020, my friend sarah reached out to him. she (and my friends, along with me) were starting to distrust the things gil was saying about liz, since it went completely against what liz would say herself. she would say she only plays the sims 3 on her computer - he would say she was a huge gamer and played the sims 4 on ps4, along with minecraft, uncharted, the last of us, horizon zero dawn, etc. he would say that liz and maddison brown (her dynasty co-star) played ACNH with him and quickly got to 5 stars - liz said in a zach sang interview that she didn’t play animal crossing. every time something didn’t add up, his excuse was that liz was lying for her privacy. she didn’t follow gil on any verified social media accounts in case “people harassed him” over being friends with her. so sarah texted him that she needed to talk to him about the liz stuff, because there was evidence it wasn’t true, and he denied all of it. he firmly stuck to his story, and sarah gave him multiple chances over several days to come clean and he wouldn’t. she asked for simple pieces of proof that he could give her, and he wouldn’t besides fake screenshots of her “private blog”:

he told me afterwards that if it comes between his friendship with liz or sarah’s, he’s picking liz - end of story. his and sarah’s friendship was done after that because of his decision. he blamed sarah for “ruining” liz and maddison’s friendship because of her asking for proof, and made her out to be the bad one in that situation. he ended up deleting the discord gc after this happened, with all of his screenshots/”info” as liz as well (we got screenshots of things before he deleted it though, much more that’s shown in this post).

about a month later, my friend léa also confronted him about it. gil had told her some things about liz’s “reaction” to meeting léa in paris, and at the time, it had made the experience more special for her. once she realized it was all lies, though, it really hurt her - he altered that special experience for her and twisted it into something that wasn’t real. he had the same reaction to léa’s conversation as he did to sarah’s, and he refused to tell the truth. their friendship was done with after, as well, along with a few other people from the liz fandom. i was the only one who stayed friends with him after that, and that was because i was closest with him and still trying to see if i could fix things with him. i was still naively believing that he would treat me okay again, he would make me feel important instead of always a backup option, that he wanted me again.

but of course that never happened. he continued to ignore me, talk to me less and less, and would subtweet me on his private account. after he stopped being friends with sarah and léa and everyone blocked him except for me, i was the only follower on his private account, as well as being the only person he followed there. gil, though, kept saying that liz had a “private twitter” where she would talk to him on his private account. he also said that he had “merged twitter accounts” into one, which was his private, which messed up his account and wouldn’t show who he was replying to, quote rts, or that he was following them, which - if you have a twitter, you KNOW none of that can actually happen. but it was his excuse to constantly subtweet me and my friends for not believing him, to maintain his story, AND to have convos with “liz” on there that only i could see, where he made it sound like he was talking shit about me to her. it was extremely manipulative and served no purpose except to fuck with me, because he knew that i was the only one seeing those tweets and knew i was already struggling with not knowing what to believe. here’s some of them:

(you can very clearly see that i’m the only follower/following on that account, the number is at literally 1, and he STILL was acting like he was talking to someone else and that other people were following him.)

now comes jan. 2021!! WE GOT DEFINITE PROOF THAT IT WAS ALL LIES. from multiple people. one of liz’s close best friends (that gil included in his stories about her, saying that he met them) said that they don’t know who gil is, have never met him, and it’s best for us all to block him for our own safety. a co-worker of liz’s (who was, again, included in gil’s lies, that he hung out with them multiple times, played games with them online, and bought him gifts) said that not only had they never met gil, but EVERYTHING he said about them was untrue. they even listed the inaccuracies he would say about them, such as gil taking photos of them at things like the SWT, and they confirmed who actually took the photo. they said that “none of it is fucking true” and that gil is a narcissistic liar, and also encouraged us to block him for our own safety.

i confronted gil myself about this a few weeks ago, and he continued to maintain his story that everyone’s lying to protect his privacy - even though we know for sure that wasn’t the case. he FINALLY owned up to it to me only once he saw i had proof and he was caught, and his reason for doing it was “he was bored”. he said he was sorry but he wasn’t truly apologetic - he either didn’t fully realize the scope of how hurtful his lies and manipulations were, or he just didn’t care, but the bottom line is that he always chose his fantasy of liz over his actual friends. around this time, once he knew he was caught, he also deactivated his private account, but brought it back a week or so later, with all of the subtweets and tweets about liz being deleted. all of the unverified accounts that were supposed to be liz - the tumblr account, psn, twitch, etc. - were all fake and made by him, so he could make it seem more real.

even if he WAS telling the truth about being friends with liz, he still would have completely violated her privacy by the amount of “secret” things he told all of us - from her kinks/sex life, to work life, to very personal things that he claims happened to her. knowing it’s all fake though, and he made up an entire personality and life for liz that doesn’t exist??? it’s insane.

now the part with kim - she’s known gil irl for over 10 years, and has tweeted about liz all the time, about how “good” liz is to her because of gil, and that she’s the one who encouraged him to talk to her. she brags about it constantly, even though none of it is real. she also tweeted multiple times throughout 2018-2019 about how gil “finally deserves to meet liz in person”, even though gil said he met liz irl back in 2017 or so - AND that she came to texas, where he lives, to meet him and his friends. when asked about her tweets, he said that kim’s account was “messed up” and her tweets weren’t “tweeted at the right time”. one of my friends reached out to tell her and show her the proof of gil lying, because gil has been lying to her and other people irl too, and instead she mocked us, belittled us, and chose not to believe a group of women coming to her about a 30 year old (!!) man manipulating us. gil said that kim was “aware of it all being a lie for years now” to me, but i think that was another lie, that he’s STILL lying to her about it. if not, then that means that kim was also lying for many years about knowing liz too, and used it to make us all the butt of her joke, so. so much for her being an “empath” and wanting to help people but anyways!!

the last screenshot is of her subtweeting us and implying that everyone involved with liz is lying for her and gil’s privacy, even though we have proof that that simply isn’t true.

i’m sorry for how long this is, but i need people to understand how serious this is. he’s been lying for 5 YEARS now about knowing liz - about her “accidentally sending nudes” to him, that gil is one of her best friends and he would’ve been at her wedding, that she’s a huge gamer who plays with him - all of it. it’s all lies. he created a fantasy version of liz that doesn’t exist, and incorporated into his real life, his friendships both online and off, and made it his entire personality. he’s not sorry about what he’s done - as i’m writing this, he’s still on tumblr, talking in the tags to “liz” again, because he’d rather uphold his fantasy life where he’s best friends with liz when in reality, she has no idea he even exists. and if she did, i’m certain that she would be disgusted with what he’s done. he lied about her, oversexualized her, used his kinks on her which was brought onto me - someone he knew that was vulnerable and had feelings for him, manipulated people into trying to believe his lies, gaslit people to make them unable to tell what was true and what was fake, and had absolutely zero respect for any of us. he even listened to me cry to him on the phone MULTIPLE times about how insecure and worthless i felt to him compared to liz, and he didn’t do ANYTHING about it. he sat there and listened to me cry, knowing he could own up to his lie, and he chose not to. he’s not sorry about what he’s done, and he’s going to continue to spread his lies. please block him. i can’t express how much he’s hurt me, the therapy that i need to have because of him, how much he’s hurt my friends and how little he respects women in general tbh. he always tried to come off as “one of the good guys” but now i know he’s harmful and not to be trusted. he even tried to separate me from my friends, and make it seem like they’re the ones making this situation even harder for him. i’ve tried so, so many times to get through to him, waiting to see if he’d change or show some remorse or anything, but after over a year of this i don’t think he will, and it genuinely hurts me to know that. BLOCK HIM.

#important #signal boost #long post #liz gillies #elizabeth gillies #so liz fandom ppl can see

90 notes · View notes

trickstarbrave · 2 years

Text

actually yknow what heres a list of complaints i have abt kink communities as someone who is kinky and heavily criticizes them but everyone keeps dumbing down everything i say as “you just dont like how they have sex”

overuse of slurs. just like everywhere. not in play where u carefully negotiate it just like in casual settings and meet ups. why. and especially slurs they cant complain i see non-romani ppl over use the g slur so much. why.

oversharing. again in usually casual settings saying things their dom/sub would be cool w but Definitely Shouldn’t Be Shared With Strangers No Context. joking abt how u can hit ur sub as much as u want and its not abuse isnt funny to total strangers thats fucking horrifying

not respecting boundaries. like all the time. even in kink spaces. i esp see this with male subs bombarding dommes w shit, demanding stuff from them, not listening when she isnt actually doing anything with them atm, or demanding free labor. it happens to multiple performers but dommes esp.

not behaving OUTSIDE of kink spaces. yes kinky ppl have dif hobbies. yes other ppl are allowed to block u if a majority of ur social media is kink centered and they don’t like it. or they can block u if u think u can make sexual jokes w them they don’t like. you can be asked to remove kink gear in public if its not a kink friendly space. not everyone is okay w every kink 100% of the time. most ppl arent. why do you feel the need to constantly push this boundary w ppl who never asked? just bc ur not doing smth sexually explicit around them doesnt mean they have to deal with it.

a large influx of young ppl into kink spaces online. like ur 18 years old w a set dom of 4 months???? thats a bit of a red flag for me personally. maybe on occasion there are ppl who have just gotten into it and met a partner they really connected with, or their romantic partner got into kink at the same time. but also this doesn’t happen all the time and i think newbies should rly explore the kink community, esp if they are younger, and not jump into making commitments before they really understand their community and what they like or dislike or what might be an issue. like either you havent explored it enough, or you were all in kink spaces well before you were 18. either way is a :/ from me

ppl genuinely thinking reading kinky writing/fanfiction makes them an active participant in kink. im.... there is a LARGE gap between liking something in fiction and liking it irl. fiction can be a great way to find new things to try out, but if you have never been tied up, how are you sure you like it? youve never been cut with a knife, how are you into knifeplay? do you even understand the safety precautious in full? you dont know what its like to stop a scene and worry if someone needs to go to the hospital. you’ve never been there. stop claiming you get it when you have simply never done it. you can say ur interested and participate in conversations to an extent but ive seen ppl acting like experts bc theyve read about it in a fanfic before. bro.

dom men going after dominant women. “ill make you submit” sir that’s a domme her job is to not do that. if you want a difficult sub you can find a fucking brat or something. why are you acting like this. this i just dont get but i see it every time w/o fail at least once. who let you in here.

#its 5 am and im bored at work

2 notes · View notes

suometar · 3 years

Note

Hi, weird anon here again :) Thank you so much for the kind words, you're really lovely :) And obviously I have more questions ;)

I think I get the sexual attraction now, thank you, although I have to say it still seems kinda fake ;P

In a way I can relate to the mental vs physical attraction, although neither makes me want to do anything sexual. There are some people I just find gorgeous and I like to look at them and that's it, and there are some that I'm interested in for some other reason and once I know them better I may also find them attractive. Like for example Tom - I'd seen him (and Loki) around on my dash many times and never looked twice at him until I watched the Avengers and Loki turned out to be so fascinating. And that's actually how 99% of my celebrity crushes happened lol, I fell for the characters first, actors second.

So, would you say that this mental thing could be like romantic attraction? The kind that makes you want to know the person better but not jump into bed with them right away? I can imagine how it works regarding a specific person, I've read enough fanfiction for that, but how the heck do I determine which gender in general am I romantically attracted to? I can find both men and women beautiful but that alone is not attraction, right? Do other people even differentiate the two or do the sexual and romantic attraction go neatly together?

Hi!

Worry not, you're not weird at all here in my blog! I'm anything but normal myself 😄 Besides, normal is way overrated imo!

And thank you 🙂 I'm always kind to everyone who's being nice at me - what goes around comes around.

Haha, you just have to trust me on that sexual attraction is a very real thing 😂

Same goes for me too with celeb crushes, it's always the role/music/work first, then the person behind it. Well, that's probably kinda obvious, we wouldn't know them otherwise at all.

I think romantic attraction is a good term for the mental attraction I mentioned. Yes, it is exactly like that, wanting to get to know the person better first before getting into more intimate interactions. But it doesn't always evolve into sexual attraction either. You just might find the person interesting on mental level and rather have a friendship with them than anything else. Sometimes it's unfortunately the only option you have too - and sometimes it's a mutual decision even though you both are sexually attracted to each other. I have a bittersweet experience on the later.

No, just finding someone beautiful isn't actual attraction in my opinion. I can for example clearly see that Chris Evans is gorgeous but that's it. He doesn't ring any of my bells. At all. Or basically any female celebs either. Nothing happens when I see them even though I see many of them as being beautiful.

I think most people do differentiate the two, or at least they should know the difference. It's then again another thing if they can tell the difference or if they have the self-awareness to recognise which one they're feeling. Because those two can be tricky to tell apart if you lack that. Especially bc we're usually wired on the sexual way first and it overrides the mental attraction at least in the beginning.

Feeling sexual attraction does make it easier to figure out what gender you prefer.

Then again as I'm bisexual and have always been I honestly don't know how that really works with people who have a preference on gender. While I can differentiate the ways I'm attracted to men and women very distinctively, in real life, with real flesh and blood people, gender doesn't really play a significant role to me when it comes to attraction. It's one thing to get attracted to a bypasser but when I'm serious about any relationship I always get to know the person first and then if I get attracted to them, it's because who they are, what they think, what they value and so on. I'm always drawn in by the brain, so I'm clearly a sapiosexual as well :D Gender is only a part of the equation to me and not a very important one at that.

What I then project online is exactly bc of the sexual attraction I have towards men, so I might appear not bi. But as usual, what you see online about someone isn't everything.

I could imagine that if you had a preference you'd find an idea of having sexual relations with the other gender(s) somewhat uncomfortable maybe? Like for example to a hetero man even the idea of having a sexual relationship with another man wouldn't definitely feel good at all, it would be repulsive in fact, and that then clearly underlines what their preference is.

That said, I get it that if you're indeed asexual there's not even that to help you.

Maybe you have already thought of these but to me two questions come to mind that might help at least to some extent:

Do you find it uncomfortable thought if you didn't have a specific preference on the gender of the person you're attracted to? And is gender or the looks in fact at all a reason for you being attracted to someone? That it might be totally something else instead, like who that person is as a human being?

I don't think that sexual attraction is at all required at first, as I experience it that way irl. That maybe it's just that you don't feel attraction by looks at all and you too get attracted by the mental side. Which could explain that you see and recognise beautiful people but don't get attracted to them.

Obviously, these are just my views based on what you've told me, so don't take it as the ultimate truth 🙂

Like I said, to me it has always been clear what my orientation is and I'm not familiar with really figuring out this particular thing. But I'm always in for helping others figure it out the best I can! I have gone through extensive self-exploration but that has been to work through childhood trauma and grow away from that which is probably a bit different - but I do know what it's like figuring out stuff for sure.

#answered #nonny asks #anonymous

1 note · View note

snarkandsarcasmftw · 4 years

Text

twenty questions

I was tagged by the lovely @adampage @cowboyshit @hungmanhorsecarriage @hotyeehawman on my writing blog snarkwriteswrasslin and @wardl0w - my bb. So, now that my laptop is FINALLY fixed, I’m just gonna do this real quick. My tags will be at the bottom but it’s no pressure to do this, okay?

what do you prefer to be called name-wise?

Ashley. A few people on here call me Snark and I don’t mind it, honestly. So, Ashley or Snark, whatever works for you.

when is your birthday?

November 2. I’m a whole year older now. And not the least bit wiser.

where do you live?

North Dakota

three things you are doing right now?

Listening to Spotify, answering this and setting up my computer / whining about it via text to J.

four fandoms that have peaked your interest.

Sons of Anarchy, wrestling, The Walking Dead, Supernatural and Stranger Things. There’s way more than four, jsyk.

how has the pandemic been treating you?

I mean... It could’ve been worse, but it could be so much fucking better too. My dad got Covid not too long ago, yeah, that scared the fuck out of me. I’m always worried that family or friends will get it. It’s made my anxiety grow in leaps and bounds, but beyond that, we’ve (my husband and I) been lucky in that it hasn’t been a huge strain on us financially *knocks on wood profusely bc luck.*

a song you can’t stop listening to right now?

Under The Graveyard- Ozzy Osbourne

recommend a movie.

Uhhh... Shit... Lemme think. Oh!! Sweet Home Alabama. It’s not my usual type movie, but it is one of my guilty pleasure ones. Twister though... That’s my alltime fave guilty pleasure movie, so either of those.

how old are you?

36. I’m an old lady.

school, university, occupation, other?

previously worked as a server, a few other similar jobs. Currently am not working but when this Rona shit eases up more, I’m gonna start looking for office type work again...

do you prefer heat or cold?

Neither. I want it kind of in the middle. Otherwise, I get to be a whiny little bitch about it. I can’t stand being too hot or too cold.

name one fact others may not know about you.

I was born with a condition called congenital hypothyroidism. Honestly, it’s not a big deal other than the chance that I may well not be able to ever have children bc it’s known to cause fertility issues...

are you shy?

Sober, yes. Drunk? Nooooo fuckin way bud. Online? Hell to the nah. I’ll pretty much talk to anyone online or when I’m drunk (unless you’re being obnoxious or a shithead or you’re a goddamn porn bot on here / you send me dick pics bc ew gross) but when I’m sober and IRL, not online? I do not speak a whole lot. And it’s not so much being shy as it is just preferring not to talk much IRL? Like.. I can just chill with someone in the room and be perfectly content.

preferred pronouns?

her/she.

biggest pet peeves?

uhhh, fuck.. silverware scraping teeth when people eat, even though I used to do that myself... Smacking when someone chews... People who pretend to like someone and then either ghost them or go behind their back and tell a whole other story. Just be real with me and don’t smack your damn food and we’re good. (JK on the smacking. I can at least kinda tolerate that. But be real with me. If you don’t like me or whatever, be up front. No need to ghost or be a backstabbing person.)

what is your favorite “dere” type?

Urmm? Idk? Is this like an animal or something?

rate your life from 1-10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be.

about an 8. I’m pretty damn happy with my life, tbh? But there are definitely things I wanna work on and improve. ( weight, health and finding work eventually)

what’s your main blog?

This one

list your side blogs and what they’re used for.

@snarkwriteswrasslin is my wrestling fic blog. @snarkwritesmultifandom is my multifandom fic blog. @ashleysinspirationhoard is a side blog where I store writing memes / prompts and pictures and stuff for inspiration purposes when I write and roleplay and my rp blog is just saved but hasn’t been set up bc I keep talking myself out of getting back to rp on here...

Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends?

Sometimes, I zone out. Sometimes I just don’t come online. A lot of socialization has recently started to exhaust me and when I come on and see a ton of fighting and drama on the dash, I’m liable to yeet myself away. I take constant breaks from social media, but... If you’re my friend, I will definitely try my best to talk to you when I’m online. I try not to annoy people, but I feel like I constantly do, so if I ever just stop talking and you see me posting on the dash, I’m probably just giving you space because I feel like I’ve been annoying or something. Anxiety is a bitch. For the most part I can keep a conversation going, but sometimes I’m just drained. Or I get busy. Please never take it personal if I’m on here but I’m not talking to you or anything. Sometimes I just come on to reblog sexy men and drool for hours.

But I promise you guys, I love you all. And I am a friendly person. I am always open to talk, no matter who or about what. If you want to get to know me, please don’t stop yourself because I promise you, I’m a harmless idiot. With major anxiety.

Tagging: Again, no pressure if any of you don’t wanna do this.

@the-ville-idiot @schizoauthoress @rampagewriting @champemoskellyboi @champbucks @chasingeverybreakingwave @andie01 and anyone else who wants to do this.

#ashley plays tag games.#ashley attempts to be social

7 notes · View notes

knightofameris · 3 years

Note

pspspsppspsp hi ames

god school is such an asshole 🥲🥲 it’s leaving me so drained. ive got so many unread msgs in both my msgs/instagram/discord bc i’m just. so fixated on school and then get burned out for even mere conversation yikes i’m so sorry for not speaking much anymore )):

but i saw ur confusion on gender and just wanted to say that as a she/they, it’s p cool to have ppl refer to me as they. like really really cool. like i just get so happy when people call me they. sometimes i even wish that i just switched to they/them bc now sometimes when i get called she/her it makes me uncomfortable. genderfluid be like—

i personally waited a bit to be sure of my decision, bc i didn’t want to accidentally come out as something wrong shdjdjdj but but but if you want to do it then go ahead!! it’s your life and ur decision and ur body and ur identity. i’ll support u no matter what u choose :3c

—🧸<3 💗💓💞💕💝💘💖

hi bb!!

omg no don’t worry! i’ve been hell a drained too and haven’t been able to text people very often and stuff. i’m not even fixated on anything besides maybe genshin. on the bright side you’re getting work done? but do a little something for yourself okah?

AHAIDHAJJD SEE LIKE. apart of me before, and again it’s with the dan cominf out video, where i was like. yeah if i was able to just classify myself as a blob that’s me???? and omf do what makes you feel comfortable!

and see omg. i’ve probably. came out so many times? like for my sexuality. it literally went from bi, to ace, to lithromantic, to lesbian, then back to ace, to ????????????? queer?????????? and i have a feeling thsts just gonna be me with gender. i just feel bad for my friends who are confused on my sexuality and now to throw in gender? might just settle with genderqueer or somethign idk ajeiqebqidhaihdi

like also i talked to my other friend about it and we were kinda on the same page. but like. as all things in my life i just choose to ignore things until they bother me 👁👄👁 and it’s been popping into my head more and more. so i think,,,,, at least online i might settle with she/they and then go from there if that’s what i vibe with? tell more people irl later

#my current state is always confused and sleepy #a.responds #from.🧸#a.anonfamily!!

1 note · View note

mythmica · 5 years

Text

Update

Hey guys, sorry for disappearing again haha. I’ve been super busy with classes and other stuff irl, so my schedule for 2019 so far has been eat, sleep, study, work, and repeat, with not a whole lot of free time unfortunately. I’ve been trying to use the free time I have to relax and destress from the week, along with working on hw, so I haven’t had a lot of time to draw or write on my own lately. (Aside from on hw assignments.)

Speaking of drawing though, my first real art class that I mentioned a while back? It’s actually going good so far? I think? I’m learning a whole lot and it’s really crazy how much goes into the process that I didn’t know about before. The teacher is nice too, and it’s nice to have like an in person lecture instead of solely online tutorials and stuff. (I might post some of my work from there here but I’m still nervous about them agdsajfh) But yeah I hope by the end of the class I’ve at least improved somewhat.

I also finished my short story a couple of weeks ago for a workshop class, and everyone in the class reads each other’s work and provides both positive feedback and constructive criticism in person. Which I was so nervous about bc omg it’s so much scarier getting feedback face to face than it is in an online class. I was so scared people would be harsh or rude in their feedback but y’all. I almost cried after my critique time ended- everyone was so sweet and helpful, no one was mean with their suggestions and it was honest and constructive criticism. Some people handed me their critique notes and told me how they really liked my piece or how I did a good job. I was so, so happy. And that made me so excited to go back and revise the story again.

But yeah besides that I’m just really trying to make sure I don’t get too stressed out or anxious this year, and practice self care and all that, and part of that is making sure I have free time to do what I want instead of worrying too much about posting here or being online y’know?

That being said I do want to try and start getting confident in posting more of my art, traditional and digital, and not worry about it being perfect or complex so much, and start posting more wips and ideas and other stuff.

Speaking of that the delta rune angst comic has been started! But it will probably take a while since I want to try and make it in color. I have most of the first panel done right now.

Besides that just to help me practice and post more I might start doing more art memes, like expression memes and especially color palettes since I want to start improving on that, so be on the lookout!

As far as other blog news I’ll try to hop on every once in a while and maybe start setting up a queue so that way stuff will be posted while I’m gone.

But yeah, there's an update on what’s being goin on for me so far lol.

I hope everyone’s been doing well though! I see tumblr...hasn’t improved at all. But other than that I hope everyone’s been having a noice 2019 so far haha.

#myth blabs #long post

7 notes · View notes

equikin · 5 years

Text

So last week I downloaded OkCupid because I realised I really wanted to find other queer folks locally mainly just to chat with and maybe make friends as I have like,,, one irl friend. After Friday (went out with said one irl friend as we do every year or so) I realised I was really, really lacking in any sort of social life, friendships etc. I love my online friends but as a 20 y/o that's not had many irl friends that goes out once a year AT BEST and feels like they're relying way too much on work for social interaction I thought I'd give it a go?

Honestly I didn't expect much and recently I've been really not... Feeling social interaction, especially text based, I spent most of the time flicking through profiles and stuff. My little sibling was noseying at what I was doing and got excited that I was on a "dating" app and encouraged me to message someone, out of interest I found my best match, lmao, god, 99% overall (with the individual categories being 99 - romance, 98 - ethics, 96 - other, 95 - lifestyle, 93 - intimacy, 93 - religion) and messaged them, because it was wild to see someone so close that was such a supposidly good match right?

Anyway, we start chatting, and we hit it off right off, their profile indicated they were also mainly looking for friends so I went in with a I'm hopefully gonna come out of this with a friend I could hang with!!! Anyway we've been chatting pretty much nonstop for the last few days (apart from today which has been a lil slower bc they're doing some uni stuff last minute which is a mood) and like, they're like ??? Really lovely and we have a lot of things in common but also differing interests we wanna introduce each other to, theyre a wonderful artist and like, we had a bunch of deep and memey and tmi conversations and it was so fuckin great? I feel like I've known this person for a while and they've indicated they're like, into me too!

We planned to hang out tomorrow at a funfair which should be so good and talked about some future places we could chill

Anyway I guess I realised fully today that I have a crush on em, like, I was feelin it before but it took till today, me fuckin, daydreaming about them and like, beaming at my phone when they messaged me and my colleague asking to realise the extent???

SO Naturally after realising that my brain, still boned from the events of last year, decided to panic "I'm seeing them tomorrow I'm awful they're gonna hate me I'm. Gonna be awkward and fuck it up I'm still too fucked over to do this sorta thing (to be fair that's probably true?? But hfjdb) I'm terrified what if I become dependant again etc etc etc what if they leave me like everybody else, what if the crush is just a phase because I've been deprived of affection and I hurt them oh god what am I gonna do" so I fuckin, have this manic, anxiety filled minor breakdown while making mac n cheese which somehow makes me feel WORSE

I chatted to them for a lil and felt like I calmed down a lot but I'm still anxious (and excited) and a fair bit out of it but like, I hope it's good? I hope this turns out well with at least a friend yknow?

They're cute as fuck and really lovely and we seem rly compatible personality wise as well as being rly supportive of my singular life goal of living in a hole in a hill which sounds silly but I'm. Genuinely super passionate about the idea of living self sufficiently in a hobbit hole fjdnsms

I think they're super I hope it lasts and I hope I don't muck anything up w/ like,,,, the still lingering hurt from last year, I wanna say I think this will help? Like, finding someone that cares, will stop me from hanging on to the strings of the past and holding all that pain as a momento of times past

I feel kinda guilty about it though becsuse I've had close friends approach me romantically and I've stated I'm not in a place for it, which I genuinely though (and I'm. Still worrying about) but now I'm off attempting something potentially romantic like?? Am I an arse for that? This just happened and felt really right, I hope it goes well ;_;

#Long post #Personal

5 notes · View notes

papanorth · 6 years

Note

I'm so sorry to hear about your home life and hopefully, the situation gets better. but until then you'll always have a home in the RvB fandom

ok im gonna. CHURN THESE OUT bc ppl are too nice for me not to, warning for Personal Crap underneath

Thank you, it’s honestly really nice to be able to just yell about stuff online (have I mentioned I have a really hard time talking about Personal things IRL?). I don’t actually see things getting worse but at LEAST I can always draw and talk to people online

self care anon again! Im glad youre drinking in moderation and are aware of how you do it/when you do it. trying your best is all you can really do with these things! im just here to remind you that people care about u and u dont have to apologise for "being depressing" this is ur space u can do what u want with it

I mean, you’re right! I should be allowed to be pissy about things, I’m just really self conscious about it. It’s a work in progress! I actually have a lot of self control (well, most of the time) so I think I’ll be alright when it comes to intoxicants, if I’m careful.

Hey! I love and appreciate not only your beautiful art, but also you! You always do your best to be positive and support others! Thanks for creating! I hope you have a better rest of your week! You deserve to have a wonderful day.

I’m still hanging in there! I’ve made a photo wall with pics of good moments to remind myself of all the good things I have, I’m actually making an effort to spend time with my family..... things are still REALLY rough rn but POSITIVITY AND LOVE, Y’ALL. (plus, im getting all this nice online support!)

whimsical-writer said to papanorth:-sends you much love and hugs if wanted- I'm sorry things have been hard PapaNorth. I know it is not much, but I shall hope for better days for you to come

(hey davesprite lol) thank you! I hope they’re coming, too- I’m going on a short vacay to Poland with my girlfriend (first time I take a vacation from work in....years lol) and I’m gonna make the most of it!

Anonymous said to papanorth:hi! i just wanted to say that i love your art! i started following you when i was just getting back into drawing and felt like i was doomed to be awful forever, but you and your art inspired me to keep pushing forward with my own, and ive gained so much in ability and confidence because of that. idk this is probably weird but i wanted you to know that i'm happy you're still here and still sharing your new art. seeing your url on my dash is always a happy thing

That’s a WONDERFUL thing to say, I’m very happy to be able to inspire people! Trust me, art is always worth working on it if you have the right mindset, keep it up!! (and yknow its nice that people like me being around... im not always a fan of it myself but if anything keeps me going, its knowing that im doing something good for someone.)SO YKNOW, dont worry abt my occasional breakdowns, sometimes things just get to be A LOT and I need somewhere to yell without having to face people the next day. Thanks always for the nice messages and support, endless hearts to the RT community!

#not a draw #papanorth answers messages occasionally #if I forgot any im sry but the thought is greatly valued #Anonymous

12 notes · View notes

sweetreserve · 2 years

Note

i hope u dont mind to read this long ask:)

hello, as a fellow writer, i can understand the feeling of getting very few notes from a fic you worked on, i've been there myself, and it made me really unmotivated that i stopped writing for a long while

y'know, the thing i noticed abt the dr writing community, if it's not abt ships of canon characters, than it's hard to get a lot of notes these days, a lot of people do left the fandom now so obviously not a lot of people will look at our stuff now, but it's not our fault, right? we write it bcs we enjoy writing it

kdkssl yeah i know it's easy to just say "write for fun and don't worry abt notes" but i know for myself that it's hard when you actually try to think like that, especially if the notes we receive still doesn't rise bcs notes are what motivates us

i'm a multifandom writer, and some of my stuff i write for other fandom even got to 1k notes (but it's only likes, the rbs i got doesnt even get to 100 which makes me pretty sad tho but it's the thought that counts maybe) it's a headcannon type of post, and when i try to do the same type of content to my other medias, it didn't do well, so i think it's just bcs of the audience, it's not necessarily us to blame

just know that if your post didn't get a lot of notes now, maybe it will get a lot someday, or if it doesn't, it's just not many people's cup of tea

that's why ppl say to "write what you want" bcs you are the one who writes it and have any right to enjoy it, if people doesn't enjoy it, it's nothing to really blame about, but it's best to move on

as i said before, the dr fandom do be lacking audience these days, so maybe try interacting w other writers that enjoy the same things as us? ik interacting can be so exhausting for some (at least for me aha), so don't feel obligated to, it's just nice to share w each other

i hope this ask can help u, best of luck for you!! ik you can get thru it, and i'll be waiting for u to write more amazing stuffs soon:D

WAA anon thank you for the kind words ಥ_ಥ this made me v happy to see.

i noticed that too - a lot of canon dr ships get wayy more attention then self-ships… which makes me :/ bc I’m not a huge shipper. i actually don’t like a lot of the popular ships, but maybe that’s just me.

when I started this blog, i was determined to write purely because I wanted to - and I still won’t change that - but yeah, it’s still not fun to see your works get no notes. esp since I want to become a professional writer later on (non-fandom related), I think I take reception on my works more personally since writing has always kinda been my thing? like the tsumugi fic, I always thought it was p good and then to see it not gain much attraction (maybe it’s bc she’s not a popular character idk) just feels bad.

but I also know a lot of writers feel like this! and I’m glad it’s being talked about more. i kinda strive on validation and recognition, esp online since I can be myself more instead of irl, where I’m more reclusive and anxious.

I’ve been thinking about expanding to genshin or obey me, but (1) I would have to rebrand my blog or create a new one, which would take time (2) as much as I love genshin, idk how to even write the characters well 😭 I haven’t gotten that far into the game, mostly bc I’m so busy w school, and I know there’s a lot of lore I don’t know about, and (3) there’s so many good genshin works out there and so many cute blogs that its like… well, it’s been done before, should I even try? ya know? I mean, cake is still cake, but if I don’t have the better cake then what’s the point (>_<)

this became a venting piece fhdkfhdj I’m so sorry. but i feel much better knowing I have support !! ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ I would love to interact with other dr creators!! but I’m so shy I feel like I’ll just… mess it up. if anyone wants to come off anon though (or even on anon dw) and talk to me, I would be more than happy to! even if it’s just to ramble. i promise I’m not scary ๑`^´๑

#this made me happy ty again anon :’)#bunnie answers ❣️

1 note · View note

starryevermore · 2 years

Note

Do you tell people when they’ve been blocked or nah? Cause I only tell them if they’re not requesting stuff and are only asking questions but even then I’m worried that they’ll come back with idk a second account? Also yes I agree, no matter what age you are, however mature you think you are, don’t reveal personal information to people online cause they can use that against you at any point. Even if you have been friends for years, still be careful. Please.

no, i don’t. i block often, and sometimes it’s over stupid reasons, so i don’t feel the need to tell everyone ive blocked that ive blocked them. honestly, in my experience, not a lot of people come back if you block them (except for trolls/very toxic people).

but yeah, people say so much about themselves online. and like ive done the same, and ive gone back and deleted a lot of things cause i remember that oh shit, i can’t trust that people aren’t going be creeps or threaten my safety.

like so y’all know— the person that im 99% sure is a minor who was sending me asks only told me 3 things that led me to finding who they are irl (or at least who i suspect them to be irl bc i can’t be 100% certain unless they themselves confirm/deny with proof). it doesn’t take a lot, especially in the age of social media

#signed sealed delivered #angst city™ visitors

1 note · View note

thechampagnelovers · 3 years

Note

Please blog about hp when you read them, I love talking about so much hahaha. I really wish I would be following more blogs on here that focus on hp but it would take time to get into it and find good blogs. I still struggle with that even in this fandom. So many people I follow have problems with each other and I am just so confused? Like I just want to follow decent people and have a good time and it‘s hard so I take time off as much as I can (as I said multiple times I know) and just come on here to reblog cute things like YOUR LYRIC EDIT! Cuuuuuuuute! Such a nice present for your friend. 🥺🥺🥺

While scrolling through your reblogs - all so cute I swear - I did see something we don‘t have in common though so I thought I’d tell you, just to spice things up: I can‘t get into Taylor Swift. I was such a die hard fan the first two albums (I was so fucking little lol) and then she started heavily on the pop and then I just lost her? I mean I understand her talent and lyrically she is really amazing but she ist just nobody I can or want to listen to. Okay kill me now hahaah. How did you come to like her music? Maybe give me three of your favourite songs and I promise to try again. 😅

Moooving on: I can only imagine how cool it must be to become friends with someone over creating something together. That is a really good foundation for friendship or at least connection because you automatically have to get personal and open up, right? At least that‘s how I see it... It‘s one of the things I wish I had in my life. Sharing my creativity with others, even friends, you know?

A comfort album... yes absolutely! 🥺

I have a 1D Playlist where I have all their songs collected and when I put that on I just let it run through and I don‘t really get to the point where I can skip because it‘s like a Mood™️ if that makes sense haha. But yeah I totally get that you‘d only trust Niall with Little Things and he would never let you down. When Liam sang it I was like „Nice, thanks for the memories, amazing vocals“ ajsklsn. Maybe I should start hating some songs too, builds personality hahah.

I am so sorry you had such a weird weekend. And sorry you had those cramps again. 😫 I am already dreading mine. 😭 Why did you stop taking the pill, if you don‘t mind answering that? I stopped because I couldn‘t handle the hormones at all. I hope you get this figured out! Please keep me updated. 💓 Oh and I think you have a healthy relationship with crying and it‘s good to be open about it! If it helps I cried today too, yayyy! Is there anything I can do to cheer you up though maybe? Oh and tell me why your book is depressing? We should opening a book club honestly. I am currently crying over rwrb, I finally got some time to really get into it and am almost finished and... NOT OK. Wow okay I have been ranting again. Hope you had a better day! x

I definitely will! When I get back home I’ll read them and I can tag the posts, it’s gonna be so fun! I don’t follow hp blogs :/ I think I follow just one but I don’t even remember the url sjdhjd

If you need chill people to follow I recommend all my mutuals! I’m a strong advocate in having a curated online experience and most of my mutuals are drama free blogs 🤍

Thank you beer nony 🥺🥺🥺I just realised I never made you anything for your bday 😔😔😔 I’m so so so so sorry skdjjdjd next edit is dedicated to you, and I’m also gonna make something for tee! Lately all my post are gifts for mutuals and I love that

I won’t kill you JDHDJD it’s okay, I like Taylor but I’m nowhere near a hardcore stan so I don’t really mind it, also I understand what you’re saying, albums like 1989 and reputation are completely pop and tbh they’re not my fav albums lol 😳 although they both have songs that I LOVE, she never misses. Two of my best friends are swifties, and me and my other best friend are 1d stans so everytime we hang out we play taylor and 1d dkdhdjdj that’s kinda how it happened I think

If you miss the old taylor, my recommendations is ofc folklore and evermore! Cozy comfort albums, goes back to her roots a little bit more, it’s definitely not pop. My fav album is red for sure, and I know you don’t like her pop music but lover is just spectacular and you can’t miss it

Top songs for me are (in no particular order) red, the story of us, miss Americana, state of grace, holy ground, the lakes, no body no crime, champagne problems, gold rush, come back be here, New Romantics and getaway car! And I’m sure I’m missing so many gems too! But yeah, if you want to give her a second chance, red, lover and evermore are my recommendations! And you can check out the folklore online concert on disney+

Ohhh nony 🥺🥺🥺 you’re right, it’s a very nice feeling, and that’s how I always make friendships really djjfjd idk other ways to interact :/ and you can do it! I would love to see what you make, maybe it’s harder irl but online you can make so many friends sharing your art! And I would love to see it

Djdhjdjd I totally get the mood feeling, bc it is a vibe for sure 🤍 ugh I love Niall, he’s the only man I trust

Thank you nony! This time I didn’t suffer near as much as the last time but still not fun. I stopped bc of some logistic problems with the pharmacy djdjdj and I wasn’t really having sex so why bother yk? (Funny story the other day my ex asked me if I wanted to go to his house and I had a full breakdown that made me delete my Instagram so, yeah, that’s my sex life). Besides a little breakout on my skin once in a while I didn’t have many side effects but now I’m really struggling with it now. Mine have a very little dose of hormones so it didn’t affect me much, but yeah some pills can be so bad :( I’m sorry to hear that, and don’t worry I’ll keep you updated

Yay crying 🤍 lol djdhdjd idk if I have a healthy relationship with crying, it’s either nothing or all at once but I’m getting better with it.

The book is about very triggering stuff that I really don’t want to mention bc I would have to filter this post and I don’t feel like it skdhdjdhd but it ended on a nice note, so it’s okay

I had a great day today! Honestly yesterday was the stress and the hormones acting up on me, now I’m more chill and I feel better, so thank you love 🤍 enjoy your week!

#this took ages I’m so sorry nony #beer nony #ask #personal

0 notes

dawndestroyer · 3 years

Text

okay in regards to my feelings about the last reblog, especially as someone that ends up BEING the person ghosting my friends constantly due to my massively bad avpd like, in a way I'm still friends with these people somehow and they are still gracious with me enough to give me money for commissions and stuff

honestly it is amazing my friendship with my friends seems largely the same no matter how long we go without talking or just liking each others posts on twitter bc I'm a coward. but also like. there will still be a change in dynamic expected when going for months or more without really speaking to each other, and I think that at least should be acknowledged. also tbh if you are really going to kind of go off the radar and spend time for yourself, I think there should be some amount of equal effort that goes back into the friendship and other person afterwards bc putting effort into the other person equally is a part of friendship too. the balance should be there. though maybe for some people, interacting with friends is nearly effortless for them so they don't think about it like that ~_~. and that depends on how close to the friend you are too

of course I also think whether this is an irl friend vs online friend can change this up too, online friendships can be a lot more ethereal in feeling, so this idea of "ghosting" means less and you can kind of throw that word around (which I kind of think is inappropriate for normal ppl who just want space and aren't doing it for mental illness reasons like me). also depending on the dynamic of the friendship, sometimes a heads up or checking in might be a little appropriate compared to other friendships. I'm saying that because I've been very sensitive to routine changes wrt interactions bc I'm autistic, but even then if you go from interacting frequently to radio silence for a couple of months, people WILL be getting worried. obviously from the last reblog, a lot of ppl have friendships that already have that kind of relationship established, but its never always that way

anyway sorry I know people don't have to be allowed to think up every nuance when making posts like that. but as someone that DOES have friends that treat me the same despite me not talking normally to them for years on end? I really do NOT think that should be treated as a norm to expect in friendships. I think that should be treated as a GIFT. it is a gift from these people that they don't treat my distance as a problem and that they still want to maintain our friendship in spite of everthing. it is a gift that they still want to be friends with me. they are extremely gracious and loving people towards me despite me not deserving it and idk. even if its the norm for some people and their friendships, that does not mean we can't still be very conscious and thankful that they do it, especially when imo its not owed and shouldn't be required for friendships. these parts of friendships should be valued rather than setting a standard

#this isn't coherent in any way #I missed making barely coherent long posts on tumblr

0 notes

thedreadvampy · 7 years

Text

the problem with using tumblr as my therapist is there are some people who are following me on here who I really don't trust irl and who I'm legitimately quite scared to be vulnerable in front of because they'll bring it up. they'll let me know they know either on here or casually in conversation. and they'll be being Nice u kno they aren't going I KNOW ALL YOUR WEAKNESSES they're going 'I saw you were sad are you ok' but if I'm already getting red flags off them the subtext in my mind is 'I know that you're vulnerable right now and I'm establishing myself as Kind and Caring and Invaluable so that you can't say no to me without feeling guilty' 'would you like a hug' is a key one here. please don't ever read something on my tumblr and then come in person and ask me if I'm ok or insist on hugging me (unless you are Sam or Alex), if I vent on here it's bc I need an anonymous space to be vulnerable. reply to the post, I like that, or if you MUST you can message me but be clear you don't need a response. Idk I worry that I'm overreacting or assigning bad motives to well intentioned actions but honestly the idea of this being manipulative applies specifically to people who set off my alarm bells, and on reflection of past incidents I'm not sure I've ever been wrong about the alarm bells ok I was wrong once by my count, bc verbish set them off initially and now doesn't and hasn't done me any harm in the...8-ish years we've known each other...but literally EVERY other time I've been deeply uncomfortable with someone's behaviour and thought I was being unfair, they've eventually confirmed all my worries and either raped/assaulted me, pressured me into doing something I hated, or become so possessive and jealous of me it did me legit damage. And while most of y'all are amazing wonderful people, and I know it's shitty of me to vague about this bc my friends are all the sorts of people who'll assume this is about them when it PROBABLY ISN'T, there are at least three people following me who I know irl who give me that edgy unsafe feeling and I am so freaked out when I remember that they can see me saying stuff like, talking about my assaults etc (I mean as well there are people I just hate to think might read it and worry, and other ppl I don't really want to remind that I have sex bc it's weird) But it's a problem bc I get a huge mental health benefit from being able to post on here and I really want the capacity to shout out HELLO I AM STRUGGLING AND I NEED SUPPORT FROM PEOPLE WHO KNOW AND CARE ABOUT ME. A lot of the time posting here and having SPECIFICALLY YOU GUYS who I like and know say 'yes I know you and I care about you and you're not a bad person', whether you're an online friend or an irl one, is super helpful, but it also puts me in a bad position. I'd like to make a separate badbrain blog and get you to ask me for the url if you wanted it, but what if the people I'm scared of asked? If I said no or ignored them it would be exactly the same as saying 'you are the one I'm scared of' and I'm not strong enough for that yet, I'm barely strong enough to accept within myself that that fear is legitimate, let alone to confront it. I'm just venting but tbh I would like advice if you have it!

9 notes · View notes

sambashua · 7 years

Text

92 questions/random questions/8 things tag~

hello friends !!! i’ve done the first two tags before but it’s been quite a while so ?? let’s see if i can come up w new responses i guess?? also these all have similar-ish questions so i thought i’d combine them so i don’t clog up everyone’s dashes~

tagged by (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ(ilya so dang much my favorite muffins)

92 questions: mariel! @jaehyunscult kelby! @yooncheoly and claudia! @s-lay-ing

random questions: kolbo! @yooncheoly ommo! @strawberryboo and cloodoo! @s-lay-ing

eight things: em! @seoulscapes mj! @jungnoir and kat! @atshinee

i’m going to tag @everyonesabiaswrecker @hoshi-ssi @king-hao @moonhyook @taeismyking @honestlay @yoonsunha @amessence @kylamassie1 @peachesandkili and also the beans who tagged me above!! you can do one of the ones you didn’t tag me in hehe(≧◡≦)

you guys can choose whichever tags you want!! or all of them ? idk it’s basically either long, easy or creative so whatever you feel like doing… or do none of them!! that works too! if you don’t want to be tagged just let me knowwww also you rlly don’t have to read this whole thing it is so damn long… but w/o further ado…

92 questions

the last…

1. drink: water

2. phone call: my grandma !

3. text message: “THEBOP OF THE SUMMER” (sic)

4. song you listened to: ‘love paint (every afternoon)’ by NU’EST started playing before i got out of the car last night… WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED I WATCHED MX’S NEWTON THIS MORNING OH MY GOD THE BOP OF THE SUMMER THAT’S WHAT THE TEXT WAS ABT BTW

5. time you cried: hmmmm not monsta x surprisingly ? but we have some rlly spicy food in LA and @everyonesabiaswrecker @taeismyking and i had to hide our eyes from the waiter lol

have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: nooo (as i said last time i’ve never dated so these are all no’s so you can skip around a bit i suppose)

7. been cheated on: nooo

8. kissed someone and regretted it: nooo

9. lost someone special: yea

10. been depressed: nope

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: drinking makes ya do bad stuff kids

list three favorite colors (12-15)…

grey, light blue nd light green !

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: yeAH SO MANY! irl and online i’m so thankful for everyone i’ve met~~ since i started uni i was rlly nervous abt meeting people and although i have one (1) new friend irl (shoutout to my main main main kat @atshinee literally where would i be w/o you i probably woulda gotten stuck at camp bc of the hail storm) i’ve met countless lovely individuals online that i am forever grateful for;;; now i’m being all sappy someoNE STOP ME

16. fallen out of love: nooo

17. laughed until you cried: almost everyday~~

18. found out someone was talking about you: oh yea

19. met someone who changed you: YES

20. found out who your true friends are: yeah!

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: nooooooooooooooope

general stuff

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: idk like probably actually 80% but they’re not people i talk to now ? (kat still yells at me abt my answer last time)

23. do you have any pets: I GOT TWO CATS TOM TOM AND MYSTERY THEY ARE ADORABLE BEANS ND I LIKE TO BRAG ABT THEM SO ASK ME FOR PICS

24. do you want to change your name: i like my name a lot tbh (there’s so many endless nickname possibilities honestly)

25. what did you do for your last birthday: i got gelato w two of my closest frandssss and also listened to nct dream like the whole day it was the best

26. what time did you wake up: um m m i think 9? yesterday i went to bed at 3:30 and woke up at 7:30 so i slept in more today lol

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: trying to read a soonhoon fic from eep and messaging ivy:D

28. name something you cannot wait for: uM IDK EVERYTHING I WAS WAITING FOR ALREADY HAPPENED i guess just moving back to school and starting classes??? i’m so anxious ugh

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: 4 ? hours ago ?

30. what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: um idk i think i’m pretty blessed to be completely honest

31. what are you listening to right now: there’s construction going on in the distance idk what they’re doing but it is LOUD

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: i’m so shook people haven’t talked to any toms i’ve met so many i don’t undeRSTAND

33. something that is getting on your nerves: ignorance *finger guns*

34. most visited website: tumblr (i haven’t been on youtube much lately cry)

35. elementary school: yeahhh

36. high school: yeahhh

37. college: yeahhh

38. hair color: blonde

39. long or short hair: it’s so long rn i’m constantly choking on it

40. do you have a crush on someone: crushes are for noobs

41. what do you like about yourself: “everything, love yourself.” -kat

42. piercings: ears but i never wear them

43. blood type: idk my parents are both AB so my mom says we’re that too but mom that’s not how genetics work

44. nickname: i have so many but my most common one is mir~ i answer to anything tho

45. relationship status: engaged to jeon wonwoo

46. zodiac sign: cancer~

47. pronouns: she/her

48. favorite tv show: game of thrones or below deck (watch it it’s a reality show abt a yacht crew it’s so entertaining)

49. tattoos: nope i’m too indecisive

50. righty or lefty: right

first…

51. surgery: i had surgery junior year of high school

52. piercing: did they not already ask this oh jk this is first well i still only have ears

53. best friend: in the womb bitchhh (-8 months would be the official age)

54. sport: i think karate ? my dad is super sporty tho so sister and i tried every sport known to man

55. vacation: probably washington bc i have a lot of family there

56. pair of sneakers: literally who knows this tho

right now…

57. eating: nothing

58. drinking: now i’m drinking tea

59. i’m about to: eat a bagel maybe

60. listening to: good luck by aoa (yessss my girls)

61. waiting for: jordyn to get off work so i can see her new dorm:D

62. do you want kids: i always have

63. do you want to get married: i don’t really know marriage seems so outdated…

64: what career do you want: journalist (yay)

which is better…

65. hugs or kisses: hugs!

66. lips or eyes: eyes!

67. shorter or taller: i don’t have much preference but i’m tall and i like being tall

68. older or younger: i don’t really care bc some older people are really immature and some younger people are really mature so~

70. nice arms or nice stomach: i really really don’t care

71. sensitive or loud: these honestly aren’t even antonyms

72. hook up or relationship: relationship

73. troublemaker or hesitant: i’ve never been a troublemaker so ?

have you ever…

74. kissed a stranger: nooo

75. drank hard liquor: neh ?

76. lost glasses/lenses: i have above average vision boiiiii

77. turned someone down: i mean;;;; i think most people have at least indirectly

78. had sex on the first date: nooo

79. broken someone’s heart: i really doubt it lol

80. had your heart broken: jeon wonwoo breaks my heart daily

81. been arrested: nooo

82. cried when someone died: yeahh

83. fallen for a friend: no

do you believe in…

84. yourself: YEAH I GOT THIS! YOU GOT THIS! WE ALL GOT THIS!

85. miracles: maybe ?

86. love at first sight: not even a little bit

87. santa claus:

LOOK AT SOONYOUNG I’M LAUGHING

88. kiss on the first date: i mean i don’t see why not

89. angels: maybe ?

other…

90. current best friends name: sister n em n kat n cass n jords n val :3

91. eye color: grey ish

92. favorite movie: the proposal was my favorite movie for so long;;; i liked moonlight a lot too go see it

random questions

dude i fucking forgot abt this one i thought i was done fuck (why is this font so tiny)

relationship status: single for 19 years bishhhhhhhh favorite color: grey!! but i’ve been feelin orange lately hmmmm lipstick or chapstick: i like tinted lip balm:) but i even use vaseline sometimes try it okay it makes yo lips so soft last song you listened to: well i already said so i’ll do what’s stuck in my head rn: coffee by bts (it’s so good i get such calming vibes from it) last movie you watched: BABY DRIVER it was so ffffff good 100/10 would rec~ the car chases were so cool dude also ansel elgort is such a cutie top 3 characters: i’ll as april ludgate from parks n rec (are you happy jords), celaena from throne of glass, ndddd risa koizumi from lovcom:) top 3 ships: jejun ! soonwoo ! MARKHYUCK(ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ books you are currently reading: rnnnn i’m STILL reading heir of fire (don’t worry cass i will finish it in time) top 5 musicals: mulan is endlessly iconic okay, hsm, phantom of the opera, the sound of music nd mama mia !

eight things

last movie watched: baby driver hoo hoo last song listened to: me gustas tu bitchhhhh last book read: Crown of Midnight still oops sorry cass i’m so damn slow these days last thing eaten: fig newtons (buy newton by monsta x on itunes) if you could be anywhere right now, where would you be: wherever @atshinee is because i want to support her for her test but i know i would probably just distract her:(((((( a fictional character you would hang out with for the day: probably dorian from throne of glass bc he just seems like such a lovable dork i want to give him a big ole hug he needs it what fictional world/universe would you want to spend a week in: i used to be obsessed w the series Gregor the Overlander as a kid and i’d really want to spend a day there that would be so awesome esp the one where they travel through the one rainforest jungle… but also Harry Potter bc i rlly want to go to hogwarts and just;;; look around? it’s so pretty and i want to see all the paintings and staircases and the people it’d be great last video game played: i’ve never rlly played video games… i used to play the sims does that count rip

well it’s finally frickin done i doubt anyone bared w me for this trainwreck…….. i’m so tired now will i even do more of these today jk i gotta i am so behind but no selfie tags i look trash

#tagged #bye #this was so long #time to sleep #jk #i'm not that tired #just ded #thank you guys for tagging me!!!#i think that was everyone???#some of those are a bit old rip #who even read this like wow that's dedication #it's like;;; not even rly funny either so rip #only do this if you want to ofc!!#cries bc the random qs was the first tag jen bean tagged me in:(((#mir moos

15 notes · View notes