#at least ive got a friend with me

[rialitysworld]

7h uni today with 2 15-minute breaks broke me mentally and physically

tune in tomorrow for 8h of uni with a 1h break in between

#who told me to do this seminar #literally nobody #at least ive got a friend with me #and another 5h on sunday #i havent had a free day to myself since april 1st #at least my presentation is over #personal

[wasyago]

the brainrot won

#GUY S i know i haven't posted anything in a while and thats because im working on a big cool project that i really want to finish without- #distractions. but uh. as you can see. ive been distracted 😔. still working on it tho!!!! and im very happy with it turns out its just- #super time and energy consuming so ive tried to limit my intake of other media to not make myself want to draw other stuff #i also haven't read the last two (two already?????) chapters of RnS and im very sad about it and i want to read it but you know that if i- #read it ill want to make fanart and then ill never finish my project :( #SO. sorrey for the lack of art itll be coming when im free to draw!!!!!!! #but also. yes ive watched new life because i dont want to go insane with nothing but this project on my mind and umm. had to take a little- #break to do a couple designs for fun... and to switch it up a bit because for real im going insane i think #ALSO. friend got me into zelda botw and i haven't played a whole lot yet (because project) but ive tried to take some inspiration for- #designs from there. at least for joel and scott. everyone else not so much... #WELL ANYWAYS this is getting long. i should really stop rambling in the tags and just make separate posts for all this but i dont want to #umm. tags. #new life smp #smallishbeans #mythical sausage #geminitay #pearlescentmoon #smajor1995 #inthelittlewood #my art #sketch

[vurelly]

i do a lotta pose and body studies and ive been informed that i should probably post some of them

#my art #last one was gonna be niko but i just never finished it #one of my friends told me i should just post my unfinished art but mAN #i am too much of a perfectionist to not at least finish the lineart before posting #ive got hundreds of unfinished pieces just sittin in folders around my computer

[spaghett-onaplate]

depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed

#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world?? #very proud of myself #and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change #it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting -> #primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly #so there was somewhat of a gradual progression #but still #also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time #i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i #had been socially involved #anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change #and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find #the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever #and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha #(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭) #but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically #it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni #ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that #but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped #and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr #i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years #and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it #and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing #kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao #i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school #and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you? #anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build #--ing towards #which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool' #and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now

[itissadbutitsmy-artblog]

THATS WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING not aloud BUT

if i had a nickel for every time there was a cool-toned antagonistic teenaged cyclops character with terrible hair in a kids show who had just the most awful things happen to them, ended up paralyzed and stuck lying there on the ground for a while at some point, and just wanted to save everyone but couldn’t save anyone, i’d have two nickels. which isnt a lot

but it’s weird that it happened twice

#at least gumbalal STAYED WITH ROB WHEN HE TURNED HIM OFF >:( #i think robs storyline wouldnt have hit me so hard if i wasnt pointing at him every time i saw him and going haha blaine adventuretime #'just wanted to save everyone' youre so dramatic. blaines friend got killed and they wanted to protect everyone from dark magic #rob just wanted to save everyone from erasure you cant take that from me. he couldnt save anyone. #'just the most awful things' blaines friend DIED then their teacher PARALYZED them and LEFT them for dead at NIGHT in an ALLEYWAY #and ROB got ERASED by the ENTIRE UNIVERSE and NO ONE would help him and no one WILL help him and now hes DEAD again #staring. a lot. at these guys. #terrible little whistleblowers who tried to figure out what was wrong and suffered for it. theyre like. babies. what #haha whistleblowers. get it. blaine. get it. ge. get it. #ok im done #sorry for putting your reply on blast ive had this building up for A While #tawog #adventure time #distant lands #not art #dark-carnival-collective

[jatlokgwo]

haiii I luv ur blog :D ur already one of my favourite mutuals !!

hihi yayayayyayay thank you!!!!!! that means alot to me!!!!!! :D

have a doggy!!!!

#followin people useally stresses me out but your friends with my friend so brain is like oh yay friend (fennec moment) #and your blog theme feels like a peice of rope thats kinda soft i can run my hands along the threads 10/10 #you seem really nice i think !!!!!!!! i would give you tea ^^ #(feel like should say idk what a friend really is exept for person that i enjoy that ive talked to at least a little bit) #pup talks #!!!!!!!I GOT EXITED AN ALMOST FORGOT doggys name is jackly she likes to run like a horse and be so full of shapes

[xannerz]

its always surreal to me to see people praise s2 of centaurworld. s2 was so spectacularly bombastic and aimless and it ended in this awkward forgettable fizzle.

i feel like a dick saying it b/c i really do love the show lmao. or, at least half of it lmao (/stares at tnwk). gf and i've been thinking about rewatching it just to write out our thoughts on why s2 was such a poor follow-up to s1 - from the tone to the setup to all the worldbuilding the narrative had to offer in between the (far more) memorable songs of s1. idk. it's sad because cw really had the bones of a cult classic, but idek if you can call it that.

ive seen a few posts commenting on its lack of popularity, and i feel like it certainly deserves more, b/c i do feel like it's a novel idea made w/ love, but the shift btwn s1 and s2 wasnt just in the plot. there was a full-on *fracture* in the quality and direction and i'm still scratching my head over it. more than i should be, probably. but, it's just a bummer.

#centaurworld #centaurworld critical #<- a tag i never thought i'd use lol #ok EDIT: fuck it im tagging this maybe there are others who'll also see their own viewing experiences in this post too #dont mind me rambling #but i got an ask on my thoughts abt cw a long time ago (hi!! i still have it 😭) and ive been wanting to write a detailed response since. #debating tagging this since the fandom's already p small and i dont wanna bump the tag with negativity #even if it is (what i feel is) p fair criticism. but idk people are sensitive and conflate it w hate idk idk #ive seen thinly-veiled hate posts in the t*ngled the series tags and it's always bothered me. #bc you can tell op just like hates xyz character or the show entirely and its like can you just come out and say it LMFAOO #but i genuinely like cw. i so so very much do. so i get bummed out! gf and some other friends and i were so excited for s2 and #when it rolled out ep by ep we were like 'it'll get better right? right?' #also tempted to just draw more cw fanart in general bc the t t s fandom is slow and if half the people dont have each other blocked #theres simply 0 overlap in fave chars or interpretations so lmao #im going back to work i just feel sour LMAO #also adding that i think a lot of people conflate a story eliciting an emotional reaction from you = its good #but ill revisit that and all these thoughts again eventually in another post. we'll see. #and i STILL want a nwk tattoo lmao. or at least an elkie. gf and i love elk bc of this guy! the impact that he has! #xangoeswah

[definitelynotnia]

im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed

my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.

and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.

anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,

I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me

im going by metro which is quite safe

im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18

she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)

anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm

so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?

anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".

and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.

#in our house kids dont stay outside past 6:30pm'' but now all of a sudden its fine for my brother to play #till 10:30 at night #she literally stopped me permanently from going down in the evenings since i was in class 7-8 #this is why ive never had any friends outside of school bcz she wouldnt let me leave ths fucking house #and now that my brother is in class 7 #he's allowed to be out playing with his friends till 10 freaking 30 #he comes home an hour late sometimes...45 minutes and almost always at least 30 minutes late at NIGHT and she says nothing except like #one sentence #yeah im only the villain i only keep u locke #up in the house its all my fault #this is just so damn unfair #like literally insulting #im not a child what is her problem #what sort of fucking solution is 'never leave the hostel' like ok even if i do that what happens then??? after i graduate? #i'll be a 24 year old who doesnt know shit about going from one place to another without a man present] #and then this woman preaches how she 'always raises her son and daughter equally' like srsly shut the fuck up #my whole life i've been told abar late?'' #and for me bcz i would come home 5-10 minutes late nd i did it maybe once or twice she made me completely stop going down to play #5-10 minutes late from 6:30 wherein he comes an hour late from 9 fucking 30 #and this sounds so stupid bcz im an 18 year old now and i dont give a fuck abt how long i got to play but its just unfair dude #with me it was always smthn or the other either exams or she gets miraculously sick every time i want to go out to play #im not even kidding she did a whole “i have fever and ur going to leave me like this and go play?” on me one time bcz i was adamant abt goi #after months of not being able to go bcz of exam or smthn or the other #she did not have any fever it was fucking bullshit #and how am i supposed to help with ur imaginary fever anyway im literally 12 #its so fucking annoying man and then if i say anything at all she'll go on a tirade about how #like YOU DO THOUGH??????? im sorry ur feelings are hurt bcz i said you do smthn that u LITERALLY DO #istg not even 2 days ago she was having a fight with my dad abt how he should teach my brother to learn how to cycle so that he can go buy #groceries #i can cycle

[short-and-ugly]

ugh. king.

#soryro sroyro #sorry #im. constructing a playlist. two! #and i need icons/whatevers #but i didnt wanna use something that already existed #+ excuse to draw him being bloody and pathetic #thing i may or may not finish #the him-specific playlist is an hour and a half long #help me #ive got it in my video editor playing rn #the vibes are fucking OFF THE CHARTS. #have i ever said how good my taste in music is #and my friends taste #at least 30% of these songs belonged to my friends #theyre mine now

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

said this to a friend before so apologies for being tacky by repeating myself but consider the doctor's discomfort with being placed in Man as a category as less of a refusal of gender than a refusal of adulthood

because thats what it is, right? the doctor's always been vaguely not-a-man in the same way and maybe sometimes in the same breath as they are vaguely not-a-human and also purposefully childish

Man and Woman are adult categories. you get to be in them by performing gender the right way, but also by being mature. and when youre in them you get a certain amount of respect for being Man or Woman, the respect of doing gender right PLUS being an adult right. degendering and infantilisation and dehumanisation often happen like, together, right?

i think the doctor's refusal of being put in a category of Man is about that maturity thing a lot more than it is about gender. i think the doctor has actual thoughts and feelings about adulthood, or maturity, or Whatever, about Being A Child and Being A Not-Child and Being Not A Child and Not Being A Child. i think they have ACTUAL opinions on that whereas they havent given gender more than a sideways glance. i think it makes a lot more sense and is a lot more true to the text to interpret their statements about manhood through that lense than anything to do with gender

theyre a lot more of a posterboy for children's rights than a posterboy for nonbinariness and i like them way better that way too. if they met a nonbinary person they'd not be surprised or confused it'd not be a deal to them but also i dont believe they'd relate it to themselves at all. when they meet children they do relate, they do place themselves in the same spot, they are on the children's side.

#i dont know why this is so agressive apparently i had some Feelings abt this fhkghjg that i finally managed to articulate #the genderness of the doctor has been frustrating me on some level for like years #like at the same time im like okay yeah obvs trans sort of inherently but also at the samet ime no theyre not???? #like YES they are. i think Renegade is doing trans the gallifreyan way #it's going your own way. it's choosing your own like caste. it's picking your own name #becoming a renegade IS the gallifreyan or A gallifreyan way of transing yourself i do believe that #but also. the doctor isnt trans in a human way at all #and like every statement hteyve made about gender you have to be like. deluding yourself at least a little to take it to be abt gender #in my opinion #like ive done. enough times. sure. it's fun to play with interpretations #but also it deosnt feel honest #it doesnt feel honest to take anything the doctor at least from 9-13 has said about gender to be about. gender #it really isnt most if not all of the time! #an di think THIS is why #and theres also like the... the doctor's concept of maturity and growing up (ive got old meta where i say it's about #dont do genocide = growing up to the doctor and i still stand behind that) #and also all this is then interesting with 13 bc i said to the same friend yesterday (sorry ymae) that 13 is kinda like an anti-coming of #age story to me. but im not putting that in the post bc thats like. reaching i think a little #in the way that im not reaching about this child stuff #but it's interesting how it interacts with 13. this seeming transness that isnt abt transness/gender #bc she transed her gender but she DIDNT. her story was about something entirely else #anyway #if i manage to articulate that in a good way i'll add it to the post for now it's this #theta sigma #also wish i had quotes at the ready abt Man and War and Children but i dont #gotta rewatch #smth smth doctors daugther beast below twice upon a time the doctor dances etc #eaters of ligth also

[fleshdyke]

i really hope i get this job

#grocery stores are shitty places to work but i would get a discount on groceries which we REALLY need rn #and my brother's gf who is the sweetest person alive works there. and my brother's best friend who i also love might start working there too #so at least i won't be going in alone. she has at least some pull bc she just mentioned me to the hiring manager and i immediately got an #interview. so hopefully thats a good thing #ive only ever gotten one interview before and i really hope this one goes well 🤞🤞🤞 i need to start saving up #rambles

[nerves-nebula]

Anything on Neglected Karai at all? Is she Splinter’s daughter? Personality, skills, relationships, pronouns, or anything at all?

nah she's a 404 imagine not found screenshot and she doesn't exist she has no pronouns skills relationships or personality and she isn't anyone's daughter she came from the void and to the void she will return. amen.

#nnstuff #ask #sorry but like. im in college. i already cant make the art i want to cuz im busy all the time #yea i know a lot of characters outside the main cast are underdeveloped #i know we barely see april #i know the foot clan basically doesnt exist yet #if this were my full time job and i got like. paid to do it or something maybe i could come up with something but as it is ! #im sitting at my work desk trying not to imagine killing myself because this next assignment is going to make me miserable for #at least another full month #and i didnt get to choose my partner because everyone else had already paired up because they all just. fucking known each other somehow #even though ive been with them all since freshman year #somehow im just not friends with any of them #and all i really want to do is attempt suicide to get out of it!! #but i CANT because god knows i wouldnt succeed!! and then i'd have to face making everyone i know fucking miserable #SO!!!! #TL:DR IM WORKING ON IT

[hella1975]

my mum picking me up this morning: you're not as hungover as i thought you'd be

me, just yacked in an alleyway: yeah haha

#it's 3pm now and i still cant believe that happened that was. an experience #basically my mate's 21st coincided with her sister's 30th so they both had this big joint Event last night #where they literally rented out a farm house and the field nearby and set up a whole campsite and barbeque and everything #it was really random but also really good esp bc ive been friends with this girl since we were super young #and our mums were friends so ive just got. lots of connections to her family and it was nice seeing them all again #but there was fully like 60 people at this thing and i DID drink more than i meant to but i wasn't paralytic which is good #and my hangover ISNT that bad in terms of how bad my hangovers can get #it's just that my mate's dad picked us both up at 9am this morning which was already going to be... rough #and then proceeded to do the bumpiest drive down the country lanes ive ever experienced #i was literally grinding my teeth like i am NOT about to throw up in this man's car please if there is a god do not let me throw up #and i didn't! my mum picked me up from this (thankfully very quiet) road that has this rickety old alley coming off it #and i had the very humbling moment of 'im actually going to be sick aren't i' and had to WAIT FOR AN OLD WOMAN #TO FUCKING MEANDER OUT OF THE ALLEY AND WALK FAR AWAY ENOUGH FOR ME TO AT LEAST HAVE A SHRED OF DIGNITY #and proceeded to throw up. in a public alleyway. at 9:30am on a sunday. so of course i needed to tell you guys about it #im now force feeding myself garlic bread. im going to manchester tomorrow. i have a flight at the crack of dawn on tuesday #what is even going on anymore #also fully did just do nos last night with some 30 year olds. i cannot express how fucking odd a thing that is for me to do #actually no i can express it bc youse know that im funny about drugs so for me to not even be that drunk #and get offered a fucking balloon of all things and be like 'yeah why not!' is.... odd #i know i inhaled wrong though bc it didn't do a thing which honestly im happy about <3 #hella goes home

[w98pops]

Still cant believe a fucking terf is in fallout fandom intecacting with trans creators and drawing her ugly stereotypical twink transmasc character. You should be ashamed

What is even happening to my inbox anymore. Idk if it's the same person that asked about Sharky or not, but it really makes me uncomfortable.

I don't know where the TERF stuff even come from, but I'm very open with my political views and yeah, I was a radfem in 2019 or something. I also was a very vulnerable sad russian teenager. I know not a lot of people on tumblr aware of all the intricacies of russian internet scene, but I assume you, anon, have some knowledge, because you called me a TERF in the first place.

There's an internet phenomenon called "alt-right pipeline" and I fell in the simular thing called "TERF pipeline". This shit is inevitable for every single afab person that speaks russian. It's a really big thing. I don't say it's an excuse to be a bigot, but I was 12 when i first touched the internet. I was insecure, very fucking poor and spiteful. Also I had and (still have) some hormone problems and was generally a pretty ugly girl so coped with it by drawing ponies and hating on elusive and mysterious "men in skirts" these smart twitter girlies always talked about.

To be perfectly honest, I genuinely don't understand what russian TERFs are fighting for or against, I was in this shit for solid few years and still have no idea. I mean, now it's illegal to be transgender in Russia (a real law), but it wasn't a win for these angry teenage girls, it was a win for genocidal bigoted russian government, the same one that legalized domestic violence (also a law. its officially not a real crime in this country). I went off the topic and started ranting about my frustrations with the government again FUCK 😭

I tried to say that russian internet is genuinely a fucked up place, but I lived in the middle of Siberia in a village, ideologically only had my orthodox grandma, racist older brother and TERFs on the internet. I only started to learn english a few years ago, so i didn't have enough options before that. Or, to better words, didn't have enough knowledge to be a better person.

I'm really really and sincerely fucking sorry for that. Like, truly. It was really fucked up and I'm ashamed of stuff I said and supported blindly. I now have resources and have some media literacy in my disposal and basic understanding of english to educate myself about the topics I'm talking about. I'm trying my hardest to show support and love to all my queer friends and mutuals, and as an artist I do all I can to be inclusive, not because I feel the need to, but because I want to.

I have no right to speak about trans people and their issues and I won't. I don't know if Sharky is as bad as anon described, because I'm biased (this is my character after all) and not educated enough to acknowledge all the stereotypes associated with transmasculinity. I would really enjoy to hear opinions of my fellow transmen. To address some of my choices regarding his design and writing:

- He wears pink, because it's a quirky color that doesn't show up much in Fallout. Never meant to de-masculate him or to ridicule him. It's my favorite color, after red and brown, which are the primary colors of Wendy.

- He has a silly personality and a carefree attitude because 1) I'm projecting and 2) Wendy needed a character to balance out her awkward and moody autism

- He's a girl's boy and has wives. I didn't have the reason to make him not like girls. I wanted him to be an example of positive masculinity and solidarity. He is a straight dude who loves women. Not just sexually attracted to them or sees them as pets. They are his partners. With their own personalities and lives. Also I wanted to make a full circle 😭😭😭 I'm asexual and bi-romantic. I like boys, girls, all between and beyond boys and girls and don't really think sex is a big thing for me. Aletus likes boys, Sharky likes girls and Wendy likes when there's no sex. Pretty simple, I think.

Hope this explains why Sharky is the way he is. Would still really appreciate an opinion from a trans person. Or any kind of feedback really, because I've been feeling really fucking bad lately and can't objectively reflect on my choices. Also more questions about my OCs are very much welcome. There's a lot of stuff that made me feel like I've been misiforming people, including this anonymous message, and I will specify anything you want to know. Thank you all a lot.

#at least i got this little rant of my chest #but i dont know anymore #ive been feeling shameful for a lot of my posts here lately #i feel like no one really wants to see me post stupid ass oc sketches for another gajilliomillionth time this week #i know its not true but im angry at myself that i just cant draw shit anymore #considered taking a break but what will i do bruh #in moments like these i truly fucking wish i had friends #<- cringe emo shit I prohibited myself from saying

[lesbianralzarek]

ugh. my father insists on telling the family group chat whenever i take a lil half-step towards being a functional adult. "oh, ella is learning how to drive in the snow! also, did you know that shes taking a class to become a pharmacy technician?" dad im 25. your next youngest daughter is starting a master's program. shut the fuck up, not everyone needs to know i couldnt drive in the snow until now

#PLEASE just forget i exist #ill let you know if i ever become a homeowner and therefore 1/4th as successful as everyone else #not infrequently i look at my peers and remember that autism is actually. like. a significant disability #and that the vast majority of people diagnosed with autism are unemployed #and it. uh. doesnt make me feel better about myself #it used to be a 'hey. compared to your real peers you arent lagging behind at all!' #but now its 'you are statistically unlikely to ever pull yourself out of this rut and into a position where you feel #comfortable asking for the love you want and nearly all of your friends have had' #its at least partially the meds but i feel aggressively nauseous #immediately after posting this i entered the crying and throwing up and acting visibly hysterical in front of others #*phase. the phase of screaming crying throwing up. not screaming yet but ive got a drive coming up and i plan on #screaming in the car

[abyssaldyke]

Last week I got a verbal offer for this job I've been interviewing for continuously over the last 2 months and at first I was like holy shit this is so much money I'm going to ask for just a little bit more bc you should always negotiate a bit but then! We talked to some friends last night and they were like this is a lowball offer ask for the top of the range you requested you are worth it. So I am doing that this morning but also I am scared.

#ya girl #i know they arent going to redact the offer or at least i hope they wouldnt. im just shaking like a shitting dog #bc ive got this deepseated fear of appearing greedy but also i need money to live. and they have money!! #they have the largest endowment in the world!!! they can pay me. #its easy to say to other people like yeah negotiate! but when i have to do it myself i feel like a pussy #anyway always consult with your transgender friends they will big you up